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craw-dacious · 5 months

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Thats the art of getting by, by sarewolf

Again, new to marauders. This fic 3 that I’ve read. Feel free to shoot me recs, currently looking for ~100,000 word fic with a good angst balance and no major character death.

Summary: Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter one

I already like the opening quote. Can tell the writing is going to be good.

God the angst is already great

He’s only 24 wild

I kind of forgot just how much he lost that night, like all of his closest friends were dead. Even in canon, with no world star this probably sucks the worst for Lupin.

Okay I’m actually crying already

I’ve been wanting a babyfic since the first one I read

This is such a hard thing to do, parenting is hard without the trauma and sob storying

Chapter two

I wonder how they are going to reincorporate Sirius

And I’m concerned about Harry’s quietness, I feel like that’s not consistent with who he grows up to be

Hoping for some baby Ron and harry content eventually

I never give Kudos until the end of the fic, this is incredible and I absolutely adore it already

Literally crying from how sad Remus is Jesus

Chapter three

YES love old lady gossip

Neris is so cute delicious

Plus Harry is opening up a lot, so far very happy chapter!

So gay bruh

HARRY BEING SAD TOO IS KILLING ME JUST A BABY FR

This is actually fucking INFURIATING him being like “Sirius never loved us” like BRO I know you’re being LIED TO but I CANNOT HANDLE IT TOO SAD

Chapter four

Now I need to be a depressed widow with a three year old son who loves me

Like I think just having a child would patch my soul

This is actually the cutest thing ever love love love

I think me and remus lupin are the same person

Like gay traumatized werewolf = teenaged girl

“Oh the memories, oh the love” SO ME

YES RON AND HARRY BEST FRIENDS IM GONNA SOB

Damn he’s in love with Sirius fr fr

Can tell this is a shift, so gonna do a small recap

Wonderful characterization

Remus kind of being forced to push forward is great narratively, a little concerned about how it will work with pacing

They write Harry very well, not annoying as children can often be in fic

Chapter five

This is what I wanted, you see James and Lily in harry and remus is just thoughtful and reflective enough to show the audience the importance of this its just MWAH

Oh my god

Baby trauma. He’s so cute and being such a little bitch

Literally so sad, like remus is such a better parent than the Dursleys could ever be but him knowing what harry had makes it sad

If I have to read “angry fucks” again im gonna lose it, say sex please, at least sometimes

YES HE’S FREEEE

Chapter six

God this sucks, like I know they aren’t truly in danger but the emotional turmoil goes crazy

3 chapters till we get Sirius saying it now

Cannot understate how much remus’s pining and distraught connects to me

Like I can tell they were in love but SO TOXIC which, again, is teenage girl core

Not to diminish the relationship, I think the way teenage girls evaluate breakups and romance is like peak human condition and is incredibly poignant amidst the issues of war and death and loss.

YES FUCK YES HELL YEAH INNOCENT INNOCENT INNOCENTTTTTT FUCK PETER HATE THAT SON OF A BITCH

Chapter seven

UGH I know I said fuck Peter but this still sucks ass

When do I get to see Sirius. Ik I said 3 chapters but I didn’t mean it

Damn Petes evil as fuck

The justice in him being DECLARED innocent is so beautiful. I wish that could’ve happened in the books, he died being known as a shitty, terrible human being

Chapter eight

Ok skip this shit and jump to the gay sex I do not want a flashback rn I need TEARS

Jk obviously its important and builds suspense, well written two with good symbolism

Fuck fuck fuck fuck just kiss please I need them to kiss please

Like I actually cannot watch them be fucking roommates ill vomit

Sobbing sobbing sobbing “I hope not” Jesus fucking christ let me suck the authors dick I love this sm

Chapter nine

Just taking in the idea that both Sirius and Harry see each other as a replacement for James in the books, that is such a beautiful like concept with such horrible influences on how they treat each other and I really want to see how its reconciled here, if its relevant at all

Harry with his two dads that barely speak to each other

I do need reconciliation but making sure the weight of tragedy is like there also seems important

But also, please, just fuck already

Chapter ten

Ok remus time to put your big boy pants on and apologize

Like actually nothing will fix itself until you say sorry man

“He’s pack” BRUH harry

Pls having to tell everyone you’re living with this famous not-criminal is so funny I actually am losing it

Pls just be nice to each other for once bruh

Yay!! Nice!!

They’re so like fucked up its messy brother

Chapter eleven

THIS IS SO CUTE IM GONNA KMS

The dog plushie, the memory album, literally everything god I love Christmas

Omfg. Sweater. Sobbing.

AND HITTING ME WITH ANGST AT THE END. This is such a good joy-depression balance

Like its SO SO SAD like irrevocably depressing and filled with grief but also like LIFE and CHILDHOOD and JOY and bruuuhh

Chapter twelve

evil

Chapter fourteen

Basically skipped twelve and thirteen

Jesus Christ

That was gay sex fs

The dementors kiss scene was fucking heart breaking, like devastatingly sad but obviously Peter deserved it

Actually idk, soullessness is so horrific

Then THE KISS and the SEX and everything it was so raw and good and Jesus fucking christ

I want to have sex with eric again bruh

Just so sad, and so happy at the end with the talk of learning to live with it and just UGH amazing I love it

Literally cannot think of a critique atm, im sure ill have some at the end though

FULL RECAP

Yes I know I skipped 16 and 17 and I'm sorry.

Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH. I will say I wish there was more to the plot than “everyone is sad and trying to not be anymore”While that is a completely reasonable story, it does make it a little boring. But because this fic is fairly short it works out alright. My only true criticism is going to be on the pacing. I am not sure at all when Harry and Remus were introduced to each other, or how far after that Sirius came into their lives. I also think Harry and Sirius’ connection, while amazing, was a bit unrealistic at the beginning. For a child with this much past to IMMEDIATELY latch onto someone like this is kinda wild, but it works for the story so no big deal honestly. I think characterizations were good, not great. However, this is a situation we haven’t seen marauders in and I’m not super familiar with how marauders are usually characterized outside of reading the books and watching movies, so I’d reevaluate characterization stuff once im more engrossed in the fandom.

This is something I just thought about while adding tags, having moody in this fic was nice. He's a character I'd like to see more out of what I've read so far in marauders

9/10, truly loved this one

#fanfiction #wolfstar #harry potter #fic rec #fic #post war #post azkaban sirius #remus lupin #sirius black #alastor moody #baby harry

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

i would love to read coops doing one of those lie detector youtube videos!!

This was such a fun fic to research! I highly recommend watching the Try Guys Lie Detector videos if you'd like some context. Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Why are there so many of these?” Remus muttered, shaking his hand around. A series of multicolored wires smacked the table and Marlene rolled her eyes as she passed. “Sorry.”

“Welcome back to Lion Pride!” Sirius said as he turned to the camera with a smile. “I’m Sirius Black, and I’m here today with my husband, Remus Lupin, to get some answers.”

“We are also joined by Mark, who is an expert at reading polygraphs,” Remus added.

A middle-aged man in a blue shirt raised his hand in a slight wave. “Thanks for having me. Since you’re already hooked up, you’ll be going first. This machine measures your sweat, your heart rate, and a couple other common tells for liars. Do you lie often?”

Remus hesitated; Sirius hid a smile in his hand. “No, since I suck at lying, but I’ll do it if it makes somebody feel better. I think I’m pretty good at that.”

They stared at the polygraph for a moment before Mark nodded. “Checks out. Take it away, Sirius.”

Sirius cleared his throat and took a notecard from his stack. “Was going to college worth it?”

“Yes,” Remus answered almost immediately. “I don’t know what I would have done without getting my degree and staying close to hockey. Wouldn’t have met you, for one.”

“True,” Mark said without looking up.

“Do you like my playoff beard?”

“I do, yeah.” Mark raised his eyebrows and Remus pressed his lips together. “Okay, sometimes it’s a little much, but you’re pretty good about keeping things under control.”

“Alright,” Sirius said with playful skepticism. “Good to know. Who’s your favorite Lion?”

“Besides you? Talker.”

“Yeah, we don’t need a polygraph to know that,” Sirius laughed when Mark nodded. “Did you like my last haircut?”

“Oh, fuck,” Remus said under his breath, looking away.

“I knew it.”

“It wasn’t bad—”

“He’s lying,” Mark interrupted.

Remus turned to him with betrayal written all over his expression. “Dude!”

“You are.”

“Answer the question, Loops,” Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. “How did you feel about my last haircut?”

He bit his lower lip. “It was a little too short and really threw me off for a couple days. But you didn’t like it, either.”

“I didn’t,” Sirius agreed, grinning. “But I vividly remember several ‘no, honey, you look great’ conversations.”

“Next question,” Remus sighed.

“Ha! This one is self-explanatory. Have you ever lied to me?”

“Yes, but only when I knew it would make you feel better.”

“True,” Mark confirmed.

“Do you think you’re a better dog owner than me?”

Remus thought for a moment. “No.”

“True.”

“Do you think I’m a better dog owner than you?” Sirius asked.

“No. I think we balance each other well, and we wouldn’t be as good apart.”

“True again.”

“Interesting.” Sirius surveyed the cards. “Do you trust me?”

“A hundred percent,” Remus answered without hesitation. Mark nodded.

“Do you think I would be a good dad?”

He rested his chin on his hand, then smiled a little. “I do, yeah. I think you know what to do and what notto do, and you’re very protective without being controlling. So, yeah. You’d be a good dad.”

Mark glanced over. “He’s telling the truth.”

Sirius leaned across the table and kissed Remus on the cheek. “Merci. Oh, this’ll be fun. Is any of our relationship just for show, especially on Lion Pride?”

Remus narrowed his eyes with a hum. “Yes and no.”

“Pick one,” Mark said.

“In a general sense? Yeah, sure. We’re not perfect all the time, but we pretend to be. The specifics stay honest, though. None of our relationship is based on building clout. We keep the core genuine.”

The polygraph beeped for a moment. “He’s telling the truth.”

“This one is super morbid. Ready?” Sirius rested his elbows on the table. “You are Spiderman, and you’re holding two trolleys over a lake. One holds me, and one holds Jules. Which one do you drop?”

“I love you, but I would absolutely drop you,” Remus said after only a brief period of thought.

“Oh, thank god,” Sirius huffed. “I would be so upset if it was the other way around.”

“Right? I love you more than anything, but it’s Jules.”

Remus turned to Mark, who shrugged. “True.”

“Do you think we live together well?” Sirius asked.

“After a full year of it?” Remus laughed. “Yeah, I do.”

“True.”

Sirius checked the list and his eyebrows rose. “You’re going to hate this one.”

“Am I?”

“What do you really think about my parents?”

Remus’ smile turned thin and Sirius spread his hands in a see? motion. He was quiet for a few seconds, then ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I’m allowed to use those words on this channel. Um, I don’t like them.”

Mark snorted. “Very true.”

“Last one,” Sirius warned, though his eyes crinkled happily at the edges. “Do you know how much I love you?”

“That’s cute,” Remus said. “And…yeah. I think I do.”

“Wrong,” Sirius said before Mark could answer. “You have absolutely no idea.”

“Sap,” Remus scoffed. His cheeks were pink, and he pressed a quick kiss to Sirius’ temple while they swapped chairs.

“He was telling the truth,” Mark informed them as he helped Remus untangle his arm and hand, then transferred the devices to Sirius. “Though I am interested to see the flipside. Do you lie often?”

“Not anymore. I’m pretty good at it, though.”

“First one: have you ever had a crush on one of your teammates?”

“Oh, for sure,” Sirius said with a light laugh. “I never did anything about it, but I was the king of pining for a solid decade.”

“True,” Mark affirmed.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “Who is the handsomest Lion?”

Sirius bit his lip, making a thoughtful noise. “That’s a tough one. I’m assuming a player other than you?”

“Yes.”

“In that case…I think Dumo is the classic definition of ‘handsome’ even though he is so not my type, but Kasey might be the most attractive.”

“Not Pots?” Remus teased. Sirius pulled a face and flicked him on the arm.

“He’s being honest,” Mark said.

“Do you think you’re the best player on the team?”

“…no.”

“He’s lying.”

“Shit.” Sirius sighed heavily as Remus looked at him over the edge of his notecard. “Look, it’s—it’s not an ego thing.”

“It’s the captain thing, isn’t it?” Remus sounded quite amused.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, defeated. “It’s stupid, I know.”

Mark nodded. “He’s telling the truth.”

“Oh, another parent one,” Remus remarked. “Did my parents scare you?”

“Not really.”

Mark furrowed his brows. “You’re right in the middle.”

“Huh.” He thought for a few seconds. “I think seeing you all together was a lot like meeting Dumo’s family the first time. You’re just so…normal. And you genuinely like each other. So I wasn’t scared, but it was definitely an adjustment.”

“He’s telling the truth.”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, they adore you. I’m glad we didn’t chase you off, though. Does it really bother you that I leave my socks around the house?”

Sirius pressed his lips together as several people off-screen began to laugh. “I can’t answer that.”

“See, that’s all the answer I need.”

“Fine. Yes, but only because I don’t know where you get them from. You don’t actually own that many socks, and I still find them every-fucking-where.”

“True,” Mark said.

“I’ll try to keep a better eye on things,” Remus assured him, smiling. “You are Spiderman, and you’re holding two trolleys over a lake. One holds me, and one holds James. Which one do you drop?”

“Goddammit,” Sirius muttered, tilting his head back. He thought for a long, long moment. “I can’t answer that.”

The polygraph buzzed. “False.”

Sirius shook his head. “Neither of you. I wouldn’t drop either.”

Mark raised his eyebrows. “True.”

“On a much lighter note,” Remus said with a cough. “Which of us is lazier?”

“Me.”

“True.”

“Really?” Remus gave him a baffled look. “You work so hard all the time.”

Sirius shrugged. “Agree to disagree?”

“Fine, but I hope you know taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re lazy.” He shuffled through the cards. “Oh, this’ll be very interesting. Do you think I talk too much?”

“No.”

“True.”

Remus sat back in his chair, a pleased blush coloring his cheeks. “Wasn’t expecting that. Good answer, I love you. Do you think we’ll get divorced someday?”

“Oh, god, no.” Sirius’ previous self-satisfaction turned to revulsion. “I don’t even want to think about that.”

“True,” Mark said again. “For someone who said he was good at lying, you’re very honest.”

“No point in lying with that thing around, is there?”

Remus shrugged. “Saves time, for sure. Have you kissed any of our friends?”

“Yeah,” he snorted.

To his credit, Mark didn’t even let a smile slip through. “True.”

“Do you enjoy getting stopped in public by fans?”

“Fans, yes. Ex-fans who take it upon themselves to explain why I shouldn’t be gay, no.” He paused, then shook his head with a smile. “I’m not good at talking to people, but I do like it when people say hello. It’s cool.”

“True.”

Remus raised his notecards. “Two left, and the first one is hella morbid.”

“Hella,” Sirius murmured, earning himself a teasing glare.

“Watch it. If I died, how long would you wait to get remarried?”

The playfulness dropped away. “What?”

“If I died, how long would you wait to get remarried?” Remus repeated.

Sirius looked horrified by the very thought. “I wouldn’t.”

“True,” Mark said, seemingly uncaring about the alarm on Sirius’ face.

“Even if it happened tomorrow?”

“First of all, thanks for my new nightmare. Second, no. I wouldn’t get married again.” He kissed Remus’ forehead gently. “Let’s not test that, though. Like ever.”

“Deal. Ready for the last one?”

“As long as nobody else is in danger of death.”

“I dunno, it’s a tough one.” Remus gave him a solemn look across the table. “I need you to be really honest with me on this one. Do you think you have better hair?”

Sirius blinked at him, then burst out laughing. Even Mark’s lips twitched into a suppressed smile. “Oh my god.”

“What’s so funny?” Remus asked, completely poker-faced. “This is important, honey. I’m really counting on you to be genuine with me here—”

“You can’t even—” Sirius broke off again and gestured to Remus’ face, which turned steadily pinker as he bit down a grin. “You can’t even keep a straight face.”

“My face is the only straight thing about me. You know this. Answer the question.”

“He’s trying so hard,” Sirius managed as he looked to the camera. “So hard, mon dieu.”

“Shit,” Remus muttered as he finally gave in and hid his laughter in the crook of his elbow. “We were doing so well until now! It’s the last question, just answer it!”

Sirius wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and nodded. “I do think I have better hair, but I love yours, too.”

Mark chuckled. “True.”

“It would help if you finally got a haircut that was different from the one you’ve had since you were thirteen.”

Remus closed his eyes, sighing. “Y’know, exposing my haircut choices for the entire internet to mock really wasn’t how I planned this day going.”

“Isn’t that the point of this whole video?”

“Mark, I’m not sure if we owe you an apology or not, but thank you for putting up with us.” Remus turned back to the camera with an easy smile. “Thanks for joining us today, everyone. Make sure to like and subscribe to Lion Pride for more videos like this!”

#sirius black #remus lupin #coops #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #social media #lion pride #lie detector

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shadowsinger11 · 4 years

Note

Young Remus Lupin for the Nsfw headcanon please!🥰

Another one which I'm excited to wrote about!

Young Remus Lupin NSFW Headcanons

Remus has been living in the shadow of his werewolf form all his life; he doesn't consider himself attractive, much less a potential romantic partner. He doesn't feel loveable.

This is a reason as to why whenever he happens to have a crush (which doesn't even happen that often), he forces himself to suppress his romantic and sexual desires instead of asking out the object of his love. He simply doesn't feel good enough to date anyone and never made the first step.

However, when you came into his life, things changed.

Remus hadn't had developed a true connection with any of his past crushes, considering he was never really friends with them in the first place.

But with you it all just came so natural. The study sessions at the library, the late night talks at the Astronomy tower, the walks in the school yard during free period - it really came so natural that Remus could only wonder where you had been all his life.

But, as time went on, Remus found himself becoming exceptionally attracted to you in more aspects than he'd think.

His heart would run a mile every time you'd smile at him and his cock would twitch in his pants whenever you'd subconsciously lick your lips.

Remus hated himself for having feelings for you, he didn't want them to get in the way of your friendship and potentially ruin it.

But boy, would he go insane whenever he'd sense your arousal from a few feet away. Remus did feel guilty for being able to do that, but he was more guilty for actually enjoying knowing how needy you were. Because he was needy for you too.

Although he wouldn't admit it, Remus spent a lot of time jerking off to the thought of you in his dorm whenever his roommates were at Quidditch practice. He couldn't help it, you were just so desirable and extremely fuckable.

Speaking of which, whenever you were ovulating, he'd just know. He'd know this and he'd itch to simply strip you of your clothing right then and there and get inside you. Remus wasn't sure if this was the wolf within him speaking or not, but he certainly did have a breeding kink.

Fortunately for you both, this was never a problem when you got together, because wizard protection would usually be taken in the form of a potion right before the act. Meaning Remus was free to fill you up entirely without any consequences.

Things would get exceptionally heated near full moon and so would his kinks.

Remus would be very afraid of accidentally hurting you during that time but he never did; he's simply that good of a person no matter what.

But Full Moon Remus™️ was the one you could count on to have your guts rearranged.

He'd be so into taking you from behind, pounding into you and filling you up until you came over and over again, and became an exhausted panting mess.

This Remus could go for many rounds and would take you in many different positions within one night.

Face down on the mattress? Check. Fucking you into the mattress? Check? 69 on the mattress? Check.

You guys need a new mattress.

Remus was easily the most polite guy ever but if he lets his wolf take over? You better free your following week of arrangements because you're having sore thighs and core for sure.

One of his most common fantasies during masturbating would be eating you out, no doubt.

Once his wolfish appetite awakens, you're basically stuck with your legs wrapped around his head for hours, whimpering his name in ecstasy as his tongue forces an orgasm after an orgasm out of you. By the time he's finished with you, you're a sweaty, panting mess of dishevelled hair and juices flowing down your thighs. Remus takes pleasure in gently licking them off of you afterwards.

Needless to say that Remus can be pretty rough, but this doesn't change the fact that he's a literal sweetheart. He would never intentionally hurt you and he'd only go rough if you specifically wish him to.

If he did happen to accidentally hurt you, he'd be extremely apologetic, fussing around to make sure you get everything you need. And that's where his precious chocolate comes to play. Remus always has some left to give you after sex, both because it's delicious and you need energy, and because he wants to make it up to you for being rough.

Fuck, I need a Remus right now🥵

Likes don't help me grow, please reblog my work!

Masterlist

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin headcanons #remus lupin headcanon #remys lupin smut headcanons #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine

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fleetingpieces · 3 years

Text

My One in a Million CH 6

Here we go! Thanks for the patience and support everyone❤️

Thank you to my amazing betas @knittingdreams and @inloveoknutzy I love you both so much❤️

And thank you so much lovely @heyitssmiller for your amazing vet knowledge and kind help, I hope what I wrote makes sense!😅

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added! <3 )

@justdyingontheinside @donttouchmycarrots @heyoitslysso @whataboutmyfries @sunflowerfox87 @hereforwolfstarr @potterlocked24-7 @cheekeebabe

CW: dog getting sick

Here’s the Masterlist, and the story in Ao3 if you prefer to read there :)

Chapter 6 - Water tides

Remus let the water wrap around him lazily as he swam down the middle of Gryffindor Tower’s indoor pool at a serene pace. He was glad to have the place all to himself that late afternoon, as he was exhausted after a pretty intense workout.

His day had been fully booked; he’d been out since morning, only stopping home long enough to grab his gym bag and head to the building’s top floor. He was trying to clear his head and organize his thoughts, but just like in the past three days, his mind drifted to the gift that was still sitting face-down in his guestroom, waiting for him to figure out what the hell to do with it.

As he reached the other end of the pool, he stood there with his hands caressing the surface of the water, feeling the slight resistance it made against his palms.

Sirius had seemed so genuinely sorry and like he was really putting in the effort, and Remus didn’t know what to make of it. It was still hard to believe how fast things had changed; this was the man that had been driving him crazy for weeks... but he was also the one that was making Remus open up about his past, even if it was just a little bit. Even Cocoa liked him. It’d been really hard for Remus not to turn into a fucking pile of goo when he saw them together, and fuck if Sirius’ starstruck face didn’t do things to him. People were usually afraid of Cocoa, but Sirius had opened his arms to him straight away.

What an adorable bastard.

Remus groaned and dived underwater. He stayed in place, floating with his eyes closed. Doing this always gave him a sense of peace that very few other things could. With the exception of yoga, maybe.

It was terribly ironic how sometimes he felt like he couldn’t bring air into his lungs when he remembered that time, but being underwater felt so soothing, even if he was obviously not breathing. There was something about the stillness of it and how weightless it made him feel, as if nothing could bring him down; and having his eyes closed, he could imagine having infinite space all around him, like maybe he’d blink and he’d be floating with the stars.

A splash of bubbles that could only mean another person had jumped into the pool reached his ears.

Remus held on for a few seconds more before he stood up, breaking the surface as he passed a hand through his face and hair to get the water out of his eyes.

“Merde.”

The whispered word echoed in the big room, though Remus was probably not supposed to hear it. He froze with a hand still in his curls and turned towards the voice.

“Sorry, I thought it was empty,” Sirius said from a few feet away. He lifted a muscular arm to rub at the back of his head and frowned with a small smile. “Just how long can you hold your breath?”

Remus just stared at him. At the way the droplets of water dripped from his dark locks and ran down his chest and the planes of his stomach. He swallowed, lifting his gaze before it could travel down further and focused on the piercing grey eyes that were already staring back at him. It felt as though Sirius could see into his soul, and it shocked Remus to realise that the thought wasn’t as scary as it should be.

Remus wasn’t sure how long they stood there, it could have been a second or maybe hours, but the smile slowly faded from Sirius’ face.

“I can go?” he asked unsurely.

“No!” Remus said hastily, before clearing his throat. “No, it’s fine.”

“Ok...” Sirius seemed surprised. They stared at each other a few moments more, Remus wracking his brain for something to say but coming up short. Sirius shifted on his feet. “Well, I don’t want to get in your way, so…”

He started turning around to go to the other side of the pool. Remus took a deep breath.

“Wait.”

Stopping mid-movement, Sirius turned around, arching a perfect eyebrow.

“I…” Remus started, but closed his mouth. Sirius’ eyes softened, and Remus started again, more firmly. “I never thanked you.”

That made Sirius frown. “Why would you need to thank me?”

“For the painting,” Remus said simply, though he figured it should be obvious. He couldn’t help but add with a small crooked smile, “and for the cookies too. Even though they were awful.”

Sirius barked a laugh, covering his face with a hand, and Remus found himself wishing he didn’t. He wanted to see the way his eyes crinkled. “Yeah, well. I should have asked first before I did anything, sorry I assumed-”

“No,” Remus interrupted, shaking his head. “No, you had no way of knowing.” He stopped to take another deep breath. “I'm sorry, I overreacted.”

Sirius raised both eyebrows at that, he clearly hadn't expected an apology. He regarded Remus steadily before he shrugged. “It's important to you. I think it's perfectly reasonable to react the way you did.”

Such a simple phrase, and yet something tugged fiercely in Remus’ chest. He tried to ignore it and sank until the water covered up to his shoulders. There was something about this man that made raw emotions come to the surface, and he tried his best to control them.

“Still, you were only trying to do something nice. So thank you.”

Sirius nodded as he stared at him, a small smile on his face again.

“Maybe we can start over?” He swam closer and Remus resisted the urge to sink lower. Instead, he got up when the other man extended a hand towards him. "Hi. I'm Sirius Black, and I live in apartment 12. Nice to meet you," he grinned.

The resolution on Sirius' face made Remus smile too, before he glanced down at the outstretched hand and reached to shake it. Despite the coldness of the water, Sirius’ palm was so warm that Remus felt it in his core, and he looked back up quickly to find Sirius giving him an odd look.

“Remus Lupin. I’m in apartment 10, right next to yours. Funny that we didn’t bump into each other sooner,” he said playfully, earning himself another wholehearted laugh from the other man, his chest rising and falling with it.

“Ouais, funny that,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. He let go of Remus’ hand and promptly plunged underwater, emerging only one second later while shaking his hair like a dog and sending a wall of droplets in Remus’ face.

“You mutt,” said Remus as he raised an arm to cover himself, making Sirius smile widely.

God, does he ever stop grinning?

“So, what brought you to Gryffindor?”

The casual way he asked it made Remus relax some more. He sagged back down and moved from the shallow part of the pool, treading water as he thought of everything that had led him here.

“It’s kind of a long story, but the main reason is that I wanted to expand my brand, and I thought living in a bigger city would be better for that purpose.”

Sirius nodded as though he knew exactly what Remus was talking about. “Yeah, that makes sense. Where did you live before?”

A wistful smile tugged at Remus’ mouth, and he noticed Sirius tilting his head in curiosity. “In the countryside, just outside of Gryffindor. I was born there and lived in that town my whole life until I decided to move here.”

“Do you miss it?” Sirius asked softly.

The water lapping around them was the only sound in the air as Remus looked down at his hands, weaving them just beneath the surface.

“Yeah...I miss my mum and Leo mostly. I know it’s not too far, but it’s not easy to see them either. I guess it’s hard for me not seeing them everyday.” Remus didn’t add that it made him feel lonely, or like he was back in room 308, but Sirius seemed to sense that it was making him feel sad, cause he didn’t ask more about that and moved to another question.

“What’s your hometown like?”

Remus smiled thankfully at him. “It’s really small, nothing compared to this,” he made a sweeping gesture with his arm. “But it’s beautiful. There’s this beach that Leo and I used to go to all the time when we were kids, and later on we would always find the time to go there on small camping trips, just the two of us in bedrolls, sleeping under the stars. It became a tradition. And then, there’s a forest on the other side, with these huge trees that go on for miles, and there’s a-” Remus stopped himself when he realised he’d been going on and on without a pause, blushing a bit. He looked at Sirius sheepishly. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away.”

But Sirius was just looking at him with a dopey smile. “That’s ok. I like listening to you speak.”

Remus didn’t know what to do with that, so he cleared his throat. “What about you?”

“Hm?” Sirius asked distractedly.

“Did you always live here?”

That seemed to snap him out of whatever he’d been lost in. He ran a hand through his hair, which stayed pushed back, sleeked by the water. Remus liked it. He could see more of his face like this.

“Uh, no. I grew up in Slytherin, actually. But I went to boarding school when I got older, so I spent a lot of my teenage years there. It’s where I met James and most of the guys.”

There it was again, that fond smile, and Remus found himself asking, wanting to know more, “what was it like, going to a boarding school?”

Sirius laughed at that, and walked to lean his back against the side of the pool, his forearms resting over the edge. He tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling with a faraway look. “Oh, it was great. Not so much at the beginning though. I lived a pretty sheltered life up to that point, so you can imagine I was a bit of a snobbish dick.”

“A bit?” Remus raised a teasing eyebrow, making Sirius laugh again and focus his gaze on him.

“Trust me, whatever you think of me now, I was ten times worse.”

“I don’t really think you’re like that,” Remus replied, and was surprised to realise he meant it. Sirius’ smile faltered, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Remus beat him to it quickly, “so what made you change?”

There were a few seconds in which Sirius just stared at him with an unreadable expression. “James,” he said plainly in the end.

“James?”

“James,” Sirius agreed. “Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if we hadn’t met. He made me see I was behaving like an idiot, and everything I was missing out on.” He turned his head and gave Remus a sad smile before he continued, “I didn’t have any real friends before James.”

There was a deep pain rooted there that Remus couldn’t completely grasp, but he felt that it wasn’t his place to ask. “So you guys were friends from the start?”

“Pretty much,” he said, and then a laugh escaped him. “I tried to shove him aside at first, but he clung to me like a koala. I don’t even know why he wanted to be friends with me then.”

Remus thought about the way Sirius’ face lit up when he was close to James or when he talked about him. It was obvious to anyone that they were close, and how much it meant to Sirius.

“Well, I’m glad you found him.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said softly, “me too.”

“So how did you end up in Gryffindor?”

Sirius chuckled, “that would be James’ fault again. He grew up here, and I used to spend months at his house during the summer hols. It’s where I went when I finally ran from home; his parents took me in.”

He’d spoken casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world, but still Remus felt his heart stutter. “You...you ran away?”

Sirius’ eyes widened a bit, clearly he hadn’t realised how much he’d said. He glanced at Remus a bit wearily, who hastened to add, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it.”

Some of the tightness seemed to leave Sirius’ shoulders as he exhaled sharply. “No, it’s ok. I...fuck. My family and I had different views about...things. They own this big company and run in some upper circles of society that I never had any interest in.”

It was Remus’ turn to have his eyes widen like ping pong balls as the realisation hit him like a bag of wet sand. “Wait...you’re that Black? From Black Enterprises?”

The tension in Sirius’ jaw was so sudden and intense, Remus regretted his words instantly.

“No. I mean, yes. I should be. But I left that behind years ago.”

There was a crease between his brows, and Remus’ hand started stretching towards it to smooth it, but he caught himself in time and pretended to scratch at his cheek instead.

“Ah, sorry, my bad. I thought for a second that you were. But you must be the Sirius Black from Gryffindor, huh? I’ve heard great things about him,” Remus said in a light tone. At first, Sirius frowned at him as if he’d gone crazy and Remus shifted awkwardly. But slowly, it started melting away until he started laughing at Remus’ antics, one hand clutching his stomach.

“God, you’re so weird.” There was that sweet smile again, directed fully at him, and Remus’ heart stuttered for an entirely different reason.

After that, Remus lost track of time as they talked and splashed about. He felt surprisingly light. Laughter was not in short amounts, an easy banter settling between them, and sometimes he’d catch Black staring at him with an indecipherable smile on his face. It felt like they’d been friends for years and not just a few hours, which was something Remus’ brain couldn’t completely wrap around.

Their topics went from the most trivial things to some that bordered in way-too-intimate for how long they’d known each other, but it didn’t feel weird or forced.

Remus mentioned how much he enjoyed a cup of tea in the afternoon. Sirius told him that he’d started smoking at 16, and had quit three times so far but started again when he felt overwhelmed. Remus talked a bit about his mum and how hard she worked to bring money in, and how Remus had to practically beg her to let him help once his business had taken off. Sirius confessed to being afraid of spiders to which Remus couldn’t keep in a laugh.

“Really? Spiders?”

“Oh, shut up, you,” Sirius had said with no real venom as he splashed him with water, making Remus laugh harder. Remus didn’t miss how Sirius' eyes hadn’t left his face when he’d looked back up at him.

They had started drifting closer to each other, and right then Sirius was swimming backwards around Remus as he told a story about a school prank. Remus was turning around slowly on his feet to keep him in sight, entirely too conscious of the way that the movement with each backstroke made Sirius’ back look even bigger. And how the waves Sirius was making kept lapping at Remus’ lower belly.

What the fuck am I thinking?

He shook his head just in time to catch Sirius’ next question.

“Did you always know you wanted to teach yoga?”

“Oh. Well, not really. I always thought I wanted to be a writer,” Remus chuckled. “But then after...Um, a couple years ago I decided to start a healthier lifestyle, and discovered I really liked it.” He gave a small shrug. “I decided to focus on that, and I don’t regret my decision.”

Sirius hummed as he kept swimming with his eyes closed. Feeling a bit weird just staring at him, Remus pushed his legs up and started floating on his back, focusing on the ceiling instead.

“So, what do you do for a living?” he asked.

He heard more than saw Sirius stop and stand up at once.

“I um...I work as a freelancer from home.”

“That’s nice. What kind of jobs do you do?”

“Oh, all sorts of things. Y’know, I never learned to float like that,” he said in a rush, which struck Remus as a bit weird. He let his feet angle down and touch the floor, and he pulled himself upright to eye Sirius curiously. He was fidgeting, but smiled at Remus hopefully, so Remus smiled too.

“Would you like me to teach you?”

Sirius’ face lit up. “Would you?”

“If you want,” Remus shrugged.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically and took a couple steps closer.

“Ok, try to align yourself with the water, and I’ll help by holding you until you can adjust your body on your own. It’s easier to float if you take a deep breath and hold it, so let’s start with that.”

“Ok, I can do that.”

“You need to be perfectly relaxed, ok? Save that puppy energy for something else.”

“D’accord, d’accord,” Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus tried to ignore how nicely the words rolled out of his tongue.

He watched as Sirius breathed in and pulled himself into a horizontal position. He held it for barely one second before he started sinking, so Remus took a deep breath too and moved over to place one hand in the middle of his back, and the other under his head.

Soft.

It was all Remus could think as the dark strands of hair fell between his fingers.

“Tip your head back and lift your chin. There should be no tension on your neck.” Remus’ voice was mellow, automatically slipping into the tone he used for his classes. “Put your arms just like this.” He removed his hand from Sirius’ head and used it to bring the arm closest to him slightly up, Sirius’ fingers brushing against Remus’ thigh, and then placed it back in the inky hair.

“My hips keep going down,” Sirius chuckled, making the water ripple in small waves. His eyes were closed, his chin tilted up just like Remus had told him to, exposing the long lines of his neck. Remus looked away, trying to keep a blush at bay.

“Ok, I’m going to move my hand to support you better, is that ok?”

A breathy “oui” was all he got for an answer.

Remus’ hand trailed down, his fingers brushing against Sirius’ spine until he could place it more firmly against the small of his back. He could’ve sworn he felt Sirius shiver, but that could be because of the water.

Looking down at Sirius’ toes, he told him to try and relax more. His eyes went up his legs as he gave small advices on how he should place his body, passing by the blue swim trunks that clung to his thighs, then kept going up his hip bones, toned stomach and chest, telling him to try and push up. He glanced up at that long, elegant neck, until he finally stopped when he found silver eyes staring intently at him.

In that moment, with those eyes locked with his and feeling overly conscious of the skin he was touching, Remus felt a bolt go through his fingers and removed his hands instantly as if he’d been burned, and Sirius flailed his arms and sank.

He stood up spluttering, water dripping everywhere.

“Remus what the fuck-” he started complaining, but stopped short when he realised just how close they were standing.

Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat as he was engulfed in the grey once more. Wet hair fell over his eyes, and this close, he could make out all the shades, every spot in those irises. He felt like he was staring at a tempest sea, the calmness around them making him feel like he was in the eye of the hurricane, and he was about to be swept up in the storm.

Sirius’ breath fanned against Remus’ face, slipping between his parted lips. His eyes darted down to stare at Sirius’ mouth, those pink lips that looked so incredibly soft that Remus wanted to reach up and touch them with his fingers. The tip of his tongue moved to wet his lips, and when he glanced up again he caught Sirius following the movement. The other man inched his face closer, torturously slow, until Remus tilted his head up slightly.

Everything around them seemed to be suspended in time, waiting, waiting… And then that same memory was flashing through his mind and Remus pulled away.

“Remus?” Sirius asked, confused, and Remus’ heart gave another painful tug.

“I...I...” Remus backed against the wall so much he wished he could just become one with it. Sirius took a step back and watched him with worried eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...Are you ok?”

“I just- I...I gotta go.”

Not waiting for any answer, Remus turned around and lifted himself out of the water, and basically bolted back to the changing rooms.

He didn’t even stop to take a shower, just changed his clothes as fast as he could, grateful that Sirius didn’t come looking for him.

Once inside his flat, he unceremoniously dropped his bag and keys on the floor, and let his head fall back against the door.

What the fuck was that?

It was so not like him to do something like this. He knew better than to get tangled in... in whatever happened at the pool was. Focus on your career, that was the goal. No time to meet anyone just to get into a relationship, get attached, and then be left broken.

But Sirius just...it felt so natural to be around him. Remus was still surprised at how comfortable he felt around the other man, given the way they’d started things off. If the image he’d had of Sirius was so far off the mark, then maybe Sirius was not like-

No.

He was done with relationships and that was that.

“Ugh, fuck,” Remus groaned, then finally glanced around his flat. “Cocoa?” he called, surprised that he hadn’t been tackled in a bear hug yet. “Cocoa, c’mon boy. Let’s go for a walk. Fuck knows I certainly need some fresh air.”

It was dark outside already, but Remus’ heart was still beating wildly, and he didn’t think he could stand to just stay inside. He needed to calm down and get his mind off dark hair, stormy eyes and wet lips.

When he still got no response, Remus frowned. It was very unlike Cocoa not to rush to greet him or come to him when called. Even if he’d been sleeping, he’d always wake up to the sound of Remus coming back home.

Remus stepped into the living room, walking around the couch to where Cocoa usually laid in his dog bed. And there he was, with his head between his paws, looking up at Remus with big, yellow eyes. He whined when Remus got close.

“Hey boy, there you ar-” Remus stopped himself with the immediate knowledge that something was wrong. Cocoa was trying to get up, but his legs were trembling and he fell over. Remus rushed forward and knelt at his side, noting how fast Cocoa’s heart was beating, and the spasms still going through his body. “What’s going on? Cocoa, what’s wrong?”

Remus was frantically trying to figure out what was happening when his eyes landed on a crumpled piece of paper. He snatched it up and his heart stopped. It was the wrapper for one of his favourite dark chocolates, and there were only a couple of bitten pieces left in it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, how did you get this? When did you-? Oh my God, when did you eat it?” Remus wracked his brain, trying to remember if the wrapper was there when he’d stop by his flat a few hours earlier, but he had no idea. He remembered thinking Cocoa seemed a bit more energetic than usual, but he hadn’t thought too much of it.

Shaking out of the whirlpool that were his thoughts, Remus carefully picked Cocoa up and rushed to the door.

“Please hang on, boy. Please, please, please hang on.”

#wolfstar fic #wolfstar #my writing #My One in a Million #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #youtuber #youtuber!au #yoga!au #muggle AU

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lyallblacklupin · 3 years

Text

Now that all is over.

TW: Implied Sexual Assault/Nightmares.

Voldemort is killed with all aspects which is how the Second Wizarding War has ended. Fortunately, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have survived. They have a godson to look forward to make up for the lost times, the world is serene and ill-free, and especially, they have each other. Life cannot have been any sweeter. However, one miserable night, Sirius jerks out of the worst nightmare he has ever seen in his life. He is screaming and looking anywhere for help but Remus Lupin, who has been sleeping beside him. Will Remus be able to calm him down without having to touch him, or even come close to him?

There are a lot of things Remus Lupin should be thinking right now, which included his indecisiveness for accepting the job Dumbledore has offered him again, now that the story of Voldemort had ended once and for all. Also, the fact that he needs to move out from Grimmauld Place for the sake of his-boyfriend? Fiancé? Lover? He doesn’t understands what they are, but he knows that they are certainly not teenagers anymore. They had endured wars, losses and especially, ducked down from their own deaths, together. They finally have another chance to live, and this time it is without the fear. The fear that had been looming like their shadows since they can remember. This was THE chance.

However, as Remus exchanges the bill with the cash the red-headed girl is giving him for the Oscar Wilde’s poetry—which becomes a good distraction because the girl looks timid and strongly reminds him of Lily Evans picking up poetry from the Hogwarts for him, then she would smile at him with a teasing glint in her emerald eyes when it was Wilde’s queer poetry—he is stuck with his brain flickering the image of what happened today morning at half past five when Sirius jolted out of his sleep, running away from nothing but Remus.

“Sirius, honey—“

“NOOOOO!” Sirius’ eyes were screwed shut and he was pulling his hair like a madman, squirming in the most corner of their bedroom, with his knees glued to his chest as he quivered violently. Remus didn’t know what to do because this was something that he had never experienced in their togetherness. Sirius did have the tendency of having frequent nightmares even in Hogwarts, but never once he had pulled Remus away when he had reached and took his trembling body to tuck it against his own. He didn’t even need to ask his permission which was evidently clear that Sirius could recognize his presence without even looking him. However, this time Sirius’ wide eyes were staring him and yet he was shrieking when Remus inched forward to touch him. All of this was giving Remus only one answer: The nightmare was about Remus.

“Okay, Sirius, I’m not touching you, I’m not coming to you, see…” He steps back and sits on his bed across the very scared looking Sirius sitting on the floor. He pretended that didn’t have assume the reason behind Sirius’ behavior, looking very calm, “Did you have a nightmare, love? You can tell me, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise you, Sirius—“

His words died in his throat and suddenly something very heavy settled on his chest because Sirius is shaking his head.

“Don’t lie.” Sirius whispered and Remus thought that all of his surrounding was turning upside down. He hadn’t felt so helpless before. It had never been like this. Sirius had always been too tactile with him, no matter what. He couldn’t do anything, he was running out of ideas and strategies to deal with the situation. His mind was ringing and he started feeling nauseous as if some vial is refluxing from his stomach. His fisted the bedsheet and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to call out Sirius but he could hardly hear his own voice when a certain ringing sound is somewhere around him. He could tell nothing except the regrets and the what-ifs that were screaming in his head: What is happening to us? Are we falling again when the chance is finally here? Why now? What if Sirius had dreamt that the wolf has killed him? What if Sirius has now realized that he was bound with a monster? What if Sirius has believed that nightmare? He shouldn’t have been with me! He deserves more! Someone who is hundred times better than me! What will I do without him? And again? Weren’t those twelve years enough for us? Why isn’t the universe a little merciful on us?

And then what came out from his mouth was a sob. His body was shaking as it racked through him. He manages to breathe as he lifted up his head and there was Sirius looking at him with his tear-stained face, inching forward towards Remus’ legs by the bed. Remus wanted to throw caution to the wind and embrace him with all his strength and love, but he had to be very gentle to not make him flinch. He carefully raised his hand, not breaking his eye contact with him. Sirius nods hesitantly. It broke Remus’ heart to see the doubtful face of his lover. His fingers touched the skin of his arm, and fortunately there was no hint of discomfort in his face.

“What’s happened, Sirius? What did you see?”

Remus deliberately jerks himself out of the flashback because what Sirius explained him after that, was not failing him to shudder every time he plays that memory in his head. He realizes that he has to go to the therapist he has been seeing since a month. He likes Dr. Holly Meyer, and she knows about his relationship with Sirius. He thinks that she was the right person to talk.

His shift at the bookstore ends at quarter past two as he hurries for his appointment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Does Sirius have any past trauma related to rape or any sexual assault he has experience from his loved one?”

“Umm, no, he never mentioned.” Remus replies to Holly’s question. But he highly doubts that Sirius was never sexually molested by his family because one of the days at Hogwarts, when they were dating, he saw an angry looking bruise on Sirius’ hip which jolted him to his cores. However, Sirius never talked about it and neither Remus had the audacity to ask him who did that to him.

“Remus, have you ever done something which has terrified him? Any physical gesture or…I hope you know what I am talking about. Something that might have prompted that memory out of him, which also might have influenced him through this nightmare?”

Remus felt sudden surge of heat beneath his cheeks, and he doesn’t know how to answer. They haven’t physically interacted with each other in a while. The last time he can remember is when Sirius gained health after being in comma for five weeks when Bellatrix had hit him with a very complex curse at the Department of Mysteries. They were reunited in Grimmauld Place after the healers discharged him, both of them brimming up with emotions as they tried to express their undying love for each other. After that blissful moment, they got too busy with the approaching war, that they could only spare time for quick snogging and whispering ‘I love you’s incase if they never see each other.

“No, we haven’t…I mean didn’t-we didn’t…” He was not looking at the doctor because Remus could feel her smiling at him. “But why me? Why was it me in the dream doing those horrible things to him?

“Remus, dreams can be quite deceptive, and not to mention our mind has the power to take shapes of our fears the most terrifyingly in our dreams.”

Remus is speechless, and he is feeling something ugly erupting in his chest. He is quite precise about it. It is guilt. For not taking care of Sirius’ mental health.

“Remus?” Holly calls out very softly. Remus looks up sheepishly, despite the burning sensation creeping his neck and cheeks. “The case is quite clear here. Sirius has something in his hearts of hearts that he isn’t telling you. Something that hasn’t just left him ashamed or traumatized but also he is quite uncertain if this is something he should talk about. I assume that he is not giving it the importance to discuss this with you. And at the same time, you are not giving him the attention he wants from you. You two have been through misfortunes that has left you both listless and empty. You need to fill each other with love and happiness. Any love gestures will do. Let the other know that you are here for them in every possible way.”

Remus feels like his legs are giving out, even though he is sitting on a very comfortable armchair.

“Go, get your man. He needs you. He just doesn’t have the heart to bear loneliness. He is suppressing himself for you because he think this is what you want.”

No, this is not what I want! He makes a mental note to himself. And how could I not want Sirius? Remus knows that he is lying to himself about the war being the only reason for their lack of physical contact. He knows that there has been lack of communication which has followed the current problem, landing them here.

“I shouldn’t have left him alone in that house.” Remus mumbles.

“No, Remus, you did the right thing.” Holly retorts gently, “This is what he needed. To think straight with himself and be sane. You being there would have been too suffocating for him. Clearly, you needed someone to put sense in you. Your welcome.”

She is smiling amusingly, and Remus can’t help but agree. He is leaving when Dr. Holly calls him out and he turns to her.

“Say, Remus, what flowers does your better half loves the most?”

Roses. It is an automatic reply like he doesn’t need to think for even a second. Red Roses. Very cliché Sirius Black. Remus bites back a chuckle and tells her.

“Oh boy, Remus, you have a hopeless romantic in that house sulking alone, and what you are doing to him is brutal.” She is grinning at him, and he is quite grateful of her for not scolding him because he suddenly feels that he deserves it. He was too distant while being next to Sirius. He would much rather prefer to take responsibility for all of this, and make things right between them.

He apparates in front of Grimmauld Place 12, clutching a bouquet of fresh red roses. He grimaces when the scent fills his nostrils, and the idea of being above forty and doing such gesture is making him nervous. He enters the house, and suddenly stops in his track to find that the hallway is not dark anymore, it is kindled up by so many candles and enchanted stardust floating in mid-air, taking various beautiful colors. For a second, he thinks he is somewhere else. Maybe 11 or 13 Grimmauld Place? But then Sirius emerges with a pop, wearing an apron, his hair is neatly tied in a bun. He is also wearing black robes, and he has shaved but there are dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey!” Sirius walks towards him and he is saying a lot of things with the weak smile on his face, but Remus is staring him with utter fascination. He is suddenly feeling very young to realize that Sirius can still make him fluster with nothing but looking like that. Remus cannot let out a word from his mouth, but then he is broken out of his trance of swooning when he registers those silver orbs are widening, and then glistening. Remus feels an unexpected panic rising in his stomach because now tears are streaming down Sirius’ cheeks. And before he knows it, Sirius has crashed his lips on his. Remus cannot help but kiss him back. His damp is skin rubbing his, and they both rests their forehead against each other.

“Thank you.” Sirius whispers, pressing a kiss on his nose. Remus has forgotten that he have brought roses for the love of his life until Sirius is taking them, which is when he realizes the reason for why Sirius started crying suddenly. A weak grin appears on his lips, and Remus realize that he has never felt so happy in a longest while. “You remembered that I like roses.”

“Of course, darling.” Remus says teasingly, reaching forward to capture Sirius’ lips again, but then Sirius is laughing merrily which instantly warms Remus’ heart. Even so, he leans further and kisses him a little more earnestly. Sirius laces his arms around him, and Remus takes their height difference as a benefit to scoop him up in his arms.

“Moony…”

“Yes, love?” Remus nuzzles his nose against Sirius’ cheeks, as they stumbles in the nearby drawing room.

“I’m sorry about today.”

Suddenly, the awkwardness returns.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Remus says, “It was a bad dream, Sirius. I know that you love me, and I love you. It’s enough and we should be forever together and we should probably get married and have a new life and live in a country or something far away from everything and all and—“

Sirius is gawking at him, dumbfounded, and Remus realizes that he is rambling. He wants to slap himself right now. He might have ruined the night he is intending to make the most opportune.

“I mean…I—Sirius…” He knows that he is still scared. No matter how much the therapist has tried convincing him, he knows that no one can convince him completely, but Sirius Black. He wants to walk past the layer of no communication, and he does.

“Sirius…I can never hurt you. I can never even imagine of hurting you that way. I certainly have hurt you emotionally in the past, and maybe I still am, and if you feel like it then please talk to me, tell me if I have hurt you. But I have never hurt you physically, Sirius. I have never. It is worrying me. Have I done anything? Don’t fear, Sirius, I promise you that I am not walking unless you order me away.”

Sirius slightly shakes his head at the end of Remus’ statement. He cups his face and places a lingering and soft kiss on his forehead.

“It is you. The real you.” He whispers against his skin, and it confuses Remus. “Remus…It was not you in the dream. It was you in front of me but this…” Sirius ran his hands on the latter body, squeezing his arms with fondness swimming in his eyes, “this feeling of you, your arms, these hands and…just you... were not in the dream. It was him. The same feeling.”

“Him?” Remus knows where this is going. He already has his suspicions.

“My father.” Sirius’ reply doesn’t fail to make his eyes instinctively wide. The thought makes him shudder and Sirius slips away from his embrace, looking miserably lost.

There is one question that is still not planning on leaving his mind and he feels he needs to ask this from Sirius, no matter what the answer, and he does.

“Why still me?”

Remus expects that he will receive a very disgusting reply from Sirius, or a glare, or maybe he has completely ruin their night and Sirius will be shutting him out for good. But—

“I came face to face with my boggart the other day in the ministry.” Sirius replies, looking straight in his eyes. Remus can recall that Sirius’ boggart was his mother when they discovered in their third year’s Defense against the Dark Arts class. However, Sirius must have read his mind when he continues, “It is not my mother anymore.”

There is a brief, tensed silence between them.

“It was you.” Remus’ heart suddenly stops. He fights to keep a poker face. “You were there looking at me with disgust and…” He can see that Sirius is struggling through his words as if they are causing him physical pain. “…you were looking at me with such hate and you said you were leaving me because you were tired of me. You…you have never looked at me like that…”

Tears are spilling from his grey eyes.

“You have always looked at me with warmth and humbleness, but that image of you is not leaving my mind. It is there and it is making me believe that it is true, Remus, because I don’t deserve you. You are so worthy of love, I am not. I was never worthy of love. I drove you mad in our relationship. I betrayed you once, and then made you believe that I can betray you twice. But you…you never did anything like that. You compromised yourself for me, in every way. You dealt with me for a very long time, and I won’t blame you if you don’t want to deal with me anymore. It would hurt. So much, because for me, it’s hard to imagine my life without you after everything we’ve been through, together.”

Remus is numbly standing, just looking at Sirius’ face flooding with tears. He feels like his heart is breaking and mending, breaking and then again mending, back and forth. He wishes internally that Sirius’ words may leave his heart mended, because he knows he cannot deal with another heartbreak, another loss, or another tragedy.

“Know this,” Sirius comes close and touches his wet cheeks, which is when he realize that the tears are also silently rolling down his own face. “…that I love you, Remus. I know you can’t hurt me. You’ve never because you have a pure heart, Moony.”

This is when Remus doesn’t take anymore. He shoves Sirius in his arms and sobs in his shoulder. He feels Sirius relaxing into his embrace because he is placing feather-light kisses on Remus’ exposed neck.

“I’m so sorry. I am so sorry, Sirius.” He doesn’t know for what he is exactly asking his forgiveness, but he knows deep down inside his heart that it is for everything that has happened in their lives.

“But no,” He pulls out to face Sirius, desperately reaches his hands to intertwine with his, “I am not leaving you, not because I can’t but because I don’t want to be away from you. I can never be tired of you, Padfoot! And I can’t be surer about that. You think I compromised my comfort for you? That was not a compromise. That was my love for you. And it still is, here. I never regretted our relationship because of you. I did once because of myself because you had to deal with me, my cursed and poverty-stricken life. I am nothing compared to you, and yet you want me. How can I not love you? How can I disgust you? Or hate you? It’s something that can never exist when it comes to you. I don’t think I loved anyone like that except for you. I still want you, only you. I love you, a little too much, please believe me.”

Sirius has his forehead pressed with his, as he murmurs against his cheek, “I believe you, Remus.”

They kiss and they kiss for Merlin knows how long. Remus is suddenly yanked back into one of his favorite memories with Sirius, when they were at Hogwarts and it was their seventh year. He remembers that those days were Christmas holidays because they were fooling around in their dorm very peacefully, with no fear of James or Peter interrupting them. The both lovebirds were the only ones who didn’t leave for their homes. The erratic breathing, the electric excitement in their bodies, the eagerness to explore each other’s mouth is something Remus can distinctly recall from that day, at this very moment because it feels just the same as if they are seventeen again.

He reaches for Sirius’ robes to unbutton them when Sirius pulls back gently.

“Wait,” For a second, Remus thinks that this is not what Sirius wants before he smiles romantically, “I hope you have guessed why I am wearing an apron?”

“You cooked?” Remus gapes at him that makes the other laugh gleefully. That laugh makes his heart flutter again like happiness was bubbling out of him. Sirius nods at him.

“I thought I should make up for disrupting your morning, and I know you must have taken a lot of stress at work because of me. So I made your favorites.”

“You didn’t have to do this, love, I know cooking is not something you like to do.”

“Wrong!” Sirius gasped dramatically, “I love to cook for you! And besides, you bought these roses for me…” He picks out the bouquet, sniffing its scent, admiring the handiwork, and smiling the entire time as he brushes his fingers around the rims of each petals of the roses. Remus just stares at him like that. He could see the pink flush appearing on Sirius’ cheeks, and he thinks to himself that this is the most scenic view to look at. He suddenly recognizes that all of his exhaustion has dissipated from his body, and he is very much looking forward to the rest of their night.

“Come on, first dinner, and then we’ll see.” Sirius winks, taking him to kitchen when Remus stops him gradually.

“Tell me you are not frightened of me, are you? Be honest with me, Sirius.”

“I was never, Remus. I was frightened of being alone. My own mind was playing tricks on me. But not you, never you.”

Remus sees his eyes are promising.

“Promise me that you will talk to me, about anything like we used to. Just like the old times.”

“Just like the old times. I promise, Moony.”

Sirius’ eyes returns the glimmer, and they are shinning like they used to before war, or Azkaban. Remus feels the contentment spreading in his heart and comes to a realization that it is all he have been yearning for.

#wolfstar #Wolfstar fanfiction #WOLFSTAR FLUFF #wolfstar angst #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #remus x sirius #Sirius x Remus #post wizarding war #lovelycouple #mental health #boggart

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tsukihimeyfan · 3 years

Text

Sorting the main cast of AtLA into Hogwarts Houses

I know I’m late to the party because I’ve seen many different people tackle this before, but I feel like it is my civic duty as both a Potterhead and an AtLA stan to put in my two cents, since every single time I’ve seen it talked about people either misinterpret what each House values in their members or pick a House by taking into account only one aspect of their personalities. I want to make it clear that these are my own opinions, which I’m basing on the definitions we’ve gotten of the main traits of each House over the years and the “core values” of each AtLA character, and that I’m in no way am I trying to insult anyone who thinks differently. That being said, here goes nothing!

Let’s start with the easy ones. Namely, the Fire Siblings:

1) Azula is 100%, undoubtedly, definitely, incontrovertibly Slytherin. Just doing a quick rundown of the qualities Salazar Slytherin prized in his handpicked students, as stated by the Sorting Hat, Albus Dumbledore and Pottermore: Cunning? Check. Resourcefulness? Check. A disregard for rules? Check. Using any means to achieve her ends? Check. Shrewdness? Check. Ambition? Check. Self-preservation? Check. Pride? Check. An argument could even be made that, as a member of the Fire Nation Royal Family, Azula also kind of meets the “blood purity” criteria. I’m sure most of us agree on this. Even if she does exhibit a lot of loyalty to her father as well as courage and intelligence, there is just no contest. Azula is one of the most Slytherin characters I’ve ever seen outside of the Harry Potter universe.

2) In the same way, Zuko is irrefutably a Hufflepuff. Hear me out! I know that he’s very brave and daring, but when we think of Zuko, what is his most essential trait, what do people tell us again

and again

about Zuko’s character?

He’s a hard worker. And what’s the House of the hard-working?

"You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, And unafraid of toil.”

You guessed it. Hufflepuff. Of course, that’s not the only trait valued by this House that he exhibits. Who is more loyal in the series than the child who got half his face burned off and still did his best to earn the love and respect of the one responsible? Who never faltered in his loyalty even when he was sent away on an impossible mission? Who spouted angry words most of the time yet was willing to let his ticket home go temporarily in favor of ensuring the safety of his Uncle and his crew? That’s right, our boy Zuko. That very loyalty to his father is what unfortunately bound him for the longest time, until he was forced to face what a monster he was and let go of it in favor of more important things, namely his own morals and his loyalty to his Uncle.

He also has an incredibly strong sense of justice, as proven by the above statements, as well as this moment:

and he can be incredibly patient when he needs to be, as seen during The Blue Spirit and the Southern Raiders episodes.

Hufflepuffs are also said to be fair (which he clearly is), dedicated (need I say more?), honest (which Mr. shouts-his-feelings-at-the-top-of-his-lungs and can’t-lie-without-being-obvious-or-glancing-away-and-has-been-found-out-every-time-he-tried of course is) and modest (this one he starts without but by the time he joins the Gaang there isn’t anyone more modest or humble)

As “an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor” , Zuko is the Hufflepuffiest Hufflepuff to ever Hufflepuff and I will die on this hill

3) Another easy one is our girl Suki, whom I’d say is a Gryffindor through and through, even if she is very loyal to her friends.

The rest of the Gaang under the cut.

The other members of Team Avatar are a bit trickier because they all exhibit a pretty even mix of traits from more than one House, but still if we just concentrate on their defining characteristics we can get to an answer.

4) I’d argue that Sokka belongs in Ravenclaw, even though he is of course quite brave and extremely loyal to his loved ones, not only because he’s a strategist and an inventor, but also because, as best stated by Master Piandao:

Ravenclaws most value wit, learning, intelligence, creativity and wisdom (this last one is a bit iffy but I’m sure he’ll get there when he’s older), as well as priding themselves on being original in their ideas and methods. That’s Sokka to a T.

5) Katara gave me a hard time. She’s unbelievably loyal to her friends and family, she’s compassionate, patient, fair, hard working and dedicated, with a REALLY strong sense of justice, so a case can be made for Hufflepuff easily. However she can also be quite cunning when she wants to (most obviously during The Waterbending Scroll, City of Walls and Secrets, The Painted Lady, and The Runaway), she has a lot of ambition (if you count every variation of “I will make the world a better place by force if I have to”), she disregards the rules when it suits her (again The Waterbending Scroll as well as The Runaway) and she can be proud at times, so we could argue she’s a Slytherin. She’s also undoubtedly very intelligent and even quite wise for her age. It took me a while to decide but then I pondered; at her very core, what are the statements that define her? What words just scream “that’s it, that’s Katara”? They are, of course, these two phrases:

The first sounded incredibly Gryffindor to me, and the second is half Gryffindor half Hufflepuff, so it had to be between those two. As such, I decided to look into Gryffindor first. Katara is, of course, astoundingly courageous, but what else? I had to actually look up definitions for the Gryffindor traits besides courage because they all just kinda meant “brave” to me initially 😅, but what I found was:

*Nerve: “one's steadiness and courage in a demanding situation”. Yep. Who’s the most level-headed, steady and reliable person whenever the Gaang is in any kind of pinch? That’s right. Katara

*Daring: “adventurous or audaciously bold“. Yep. I’d say she ties with Toph for boldest in the Gaang

*Determination: “firmness of purpose”. Yep, absolutely. See the above image from the Painted Lady. ‘Nuff said.

*Chivalry: can mean 2 things, one is “sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms”. All of that is true of her (her “arms” being her waterbending), but I found it interesting that to be chivalrous can also mean “gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor”. I’d argue that this fits her even more. Once again, just take a look at The Painted Lady episode.

*Courage and bravery: they can mean the same thing, namely “the ability to do something that frightens you” and of course that fits Katara, but the word courage in particular has another meaning, which is “strength in the face of pain or grief”...

I’d say she’s pretty good at that. I think that settles it, Katara is a Gryffindor.

Turns out that when it came to the water tribe siblings Bato was right all along

6) For Toph I was split between Gryffindor (thinking of her brash, bold nature) and Slytherin for a while, but after looking into Katara and researching all those definitions I think I have to give it to Slytherin. Of course, Toph doesn’t seem to be very ambitious unless you count “being recognized as the greatest earthbender in the world”, but she is quite cunning. She knows exactly how to use her “poor helpless blind girl” persona to get what she wants, as seen both on The Blind Bandit and The Runaway. She’s also an extremely good actress, being able to play the “reserved and obedient little girl” to her parents for years, and being easily able to pick it back up when it suits her.

She’s also stubborn, proud, and 100% willing to use any means, regardless of laws or rules, to get what she wants.

As for self preservation? Remember that her response when asked to teach Aang, which was crucial to save the world but would’ve compromised her secret, was this:

Slytherins can also “hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done “ and my first instinct was to say that it didn’t fit Toph at all, but what is Toph if not a person who “waits and listens before striking”? Slytherins tend to favor Neutral Jing it seems.

Almost forgot that as a daughter of the Beifong family she’s sort of nobility and she technically also meets the “blood purity” criteria.

7) Finally, we get to my boy Aang. He was really difficult. He’s loyal, patient, fair, kind, modest (usually) and just but I can’t really call him a hard worker most of the time.

He’s brave, adventurous, determined and chivalrous but he does tend to get discouraged during demanding or stressful situations (his friends always make it better though)

He’s creative, very wise for his age, and quite smart (except when he’s playing around with Sokka in which case they share one brain cell 😂)

He can even be cunning when he needs to be. If he ever went to Hogwarts, he’d definitely be a Hat Staller like Harry. I heard someone say once that they considered Aang a Gryffindor because he liked to show off a lot, but that’s not really a Gryffindor trait (think of Neville Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter and Minerva McGonagall. I think any one of them would sooner Stupefy themselves than go show off their skills in front of a crowd for no reason other than to brag).

Once again, we must pin down what it is that defines him, what his core is. After much thought, I decided it’s this:

It’s his compassion, which he learned from his people, and his desire to value and protect all life. It’s his loyalty to the ideologies of the Air Nomads of which he is the last remaining bastion. It’s his strong moral code, his sense of right and wrong, his wish to make friends and to believe the best of everyone. That’s his center. That is what makes him Avatar Aang. In light of that, I think we can consider Aang, first and foremost, a Hufflepuff.

In the end, Team Avatar is made up of one Ravenclaw, one Slytherin, one Gryffindor (two after Suki joins), and two Hufflepuffs

Ironic, that the House least valued in the Harry Potter universe is the one that houses arguably the most pivotal characters of Avatar the Last Airbender: Zuko and Aang. Fitting, that even in this they parallel each other.

This is already long enough so I don’t think I’ll do Mai, Ty Lee, or Iroh. Maybe some other time.

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ourloveisforthelovely · 3 years

Text

Princess Part 11

Harry Potter Marauders Era

Link to Part 10

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- smut

______

Regulus sat watching Emma’s feeble attempt at seducing him with an amused smile on his face. This had to be one of the most laughable moments that he had in some time. When Emma batted her eyes at him for the fiftieth time, Regulus knew that he had to put a stop to the charade before he started laughing and missed a chance at being an ass.

“Do you have something in your eye?”

Emma’s smile fell as an annoyed expression went over her face. She expected Regulus to take the bait. Why wouldn’t he? Emma was, after all, a pureblood girl from a good family. She hadn’t betrayed him. Why wouldn't he be interested in her? Maybe she should have just taken her top off as she had originally planned or kissed Regulus? Guys seemed to have a hard time saying no to her when her clothes were off or her lips were on theirs. Regulus would probably be no different.

“Are you serious, Regulus?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow with a smirk. He had the perfect response to annoy the slut a little further.

“No, that’s my brother. I figured that you would know who you are trying to very poorly seduce. Just a heads up...Remus Lupin will probably have something to say about you trying to steal his boyfriend.”

It took all that Regulus had to keep his calm cool composure when Emma’s mouth dropped.

“I do not want Sirius! I want you!”

Regulus picked his book back up and went back to the place that he had stopped reading.

“Well, go make me a sandwich or something.”

Emma stomped her foot before crossing the room and taking the book away from Regulus. He gave her an annoyed scowl before crossing his arms over his chest.

“I want you to pay attention to me.”

“People in hell want ice water.”

Regulus calmly replied as Emma became angrier.

“I don’t get it! Why would you not want me? I’m beautiful….perfect….”

Regulus held a hand up.

“I’m going to stop you right there. First off, you aren’t perfect. You’re a selfish snooty bitch who was never told no enough. Second, Evan isn’t even cold in his grave and you are throwing yourself at me knowing that I am engaged to your best friend. I think that you need to go look up the definition of a best friend. You should also know that I am very hard to please and nothing about you does anything for me. Now, the door is over there. Go see yourself out.”

Emma furiously picked her coat up before storming to the door. Regulus didn’t bother looking at her as he gave her a sassy little wave.

“You’ll regret this!”

Emma snapped before slamming the door behind her. Regulus chuckled. Was he supposed to be afraid of her or something? Not a chance...

“Foolish girl. You know nothing of my power.”

(meanwhile)

You sat at your desk looking over some files that Mr. Crouch asked you to catalog. The door opening and closing didn’t pull you away from your work. You were used to people always coming and going so someone coming in was nothing new. It wasn’t until you heard Emma’s voice did you look up.

“Hello, Y/n.”

“Hello, Emma.”

You replied as she sat down in a chair across from your desk. It had been months since you had spoken a word to your “best friend.” You had begun to question just what Emma actually was to you. Out of all of your friends, it was only Melissa that seemed to not fall off the planet when the relationship with Regulus failed. Melissa didn’t care less what was going on with Regulus. She took the time to explain...

“I care about you. I want to see you happy. Clearly, you aren’t happy without him but by the words that he said to you...he may not be good for you. If you decide to patch things up, however, I will still be here for you.”

Emma never took two seconds to ask if you were okay or to check-in. You weren’t even invited to her wedding to your own damned cousin. Emma’s intentions were very clear. She was only your friend to make herself look better.

“So, the rumors are true. You are working for Barty’s father. Aren’t you embarrassed to work for a man that would lock up his own son?”

Leaning back in your chair, you fought back the urge to tell her to go fuck herself.

“The evidence against him was too damning. Just like if your husband was alive there would be enough to lock him up to.”

Emma’s smile turned even icier.

“I guess the same could be said about your fiance. I heard that Regulus charmed you again. It seems that he doesn't really care about his reputation anymore. Dating a blood traitor doesn’t seem like a very wise thing to do. What’s going on with the Black family?”

You swallowed back the burning rage that was beginning to build.

“If you’ve come to insult me it isn’t working. It's funny how you used to love to be in my presence now you are acting like you are better than me. I hate to break it to you, Emma, there is nothing better about you. Lucky for me, I got to see a lot better views on the world than what was shoved down your throat. It's probably best that you leave.”

Emma stood up.

“Regulus will tire of you eventually. He wants the spoiled princess that he fell in love with. This whole Y/n the social justice warrior...it won’t do you any good. He’ll want a girl like me and I think you know that. He and I would make a good couple.”

The taunt shook you to your core. It was the worry that you had in the back of your mind. What if Regulus decided to go back to the old ways? What if he decided that your new-found personal growth was going in the opposite direction of what he was going in? Would you be able to stand back and watch him leave you for someone like Emma?

“In your dreams. Hell would freeze over before Regulus became interested in you.”

You replied as Emma smiled coyly.

“You aren’t good enough for him anymore and I think deep down you know it too.”

Emma didn’t wait for you to reply before walking out without another word.

Emma’s words plagued your thoughts for the rest of the afternoon. Did she really think that you weren't good enough for Regulus? If so, the better question was why did you care? Maybe it was the fact that you had grown up thinking Emma was your best friend? Best friends didn’t do each other that way.

It seemed like all of your best friends were falling apart. Evan was dead. Barty Crouch Jr was in prison. Severus Snape had gone to teach at Hogwarts and wouldn't answer any owls from his friends. Literally, the only people that you spoke to was Regulus and Melissa (when she was in town).

It all isn’t bad. Your friends now are much nicer.

That particular thought made you smile. A truer statement couldn’t have been said. Maybe there was some good that came out of the brief break up with Regulus. You had grown closer to Sirius which led to your now close friendship with Remus, James, and Lily.

You had considered calling Lily several times that afternoon and talking to her about what happened. She would probably have some excellent motherly advice to offer or she would sympathize with you. Lily always knew what to say when you needed help the most. Maybe this is what having “healthy” friends felt like.

Regulus looked up when you stepped into that afternoon. It didn’t take him knowing everything about you to know that something was bugging you.

“What’s wrong, love?”

You sat your bag down with a sigh.

“Enma is a bitch. I can't believe that I ever liked her.”

Regulus frowned a bit as he stood up to follow you into the kitchen.

“So was it tequila day down at Crouch's office?”

You poured a glass of water before turning to face your fiance. Did you tell him how you were feeling? It would go one of two ways. Regulus would get annoyed with you for even thinking that he would want someone like Emma or he would brush it off with a sarcastic comment.

“Emma came to see me today. It was the first time that I have spoken to her in 2 months. She took the time out of her busy schedule of eating bonbons and living off of my cousin’s money to come to tell me what a blood traitor that I am. She also seems to fancy you.”

Regulus rolled his eyes and limped over to you.

“I would rather die a virgin...if I was one. You have my v-card so it isn’t like she would be getting anything.”

“Very funny.”

You replied with a huff.

“I better go ahead and tell you so this doesn’t come back and bite me in the ass later. She came by here earlier. I assumed it was to get the stuff of Evan’s that I had. She tried, very poorly might I add, to seduce me.”

“What?”

You interrupted. Regulus quickly reached out and pulled you to him. His mouth was on yours silencing any chances of you throwing a fit. Putting a hand on the side of your face, Regulus didn’t move away from you. He wanted to preserve whatever kind of closeness that he could get.

“Nothing happened. I made a bunch of sassy snarky comments until she left. She made me want to vomit...my stomach still hurts.”

“What did she do?”

“Y/n...it doesn’t…”

You cut him off.

“Yes, it does! You’re my fiance, not hers.”

You pulled away and walked to the other side of the room. Picking up a dish, you started furiously washing the delicate china until the plate broke in half.

“Damn it.”

You as Regulus came over to join you. He took the two broken pieces of the plate and laid them on the counter. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and snuggled his face into the back of your neck.

“You should stop trying to clean things so we don’t run out of china. You’re right. I am your fiance...all yours. Princess, I don’t be mad. Why would I want Evan’s sloppy seconds? That’s gross.”

“That’s fair.”

You replied.

“I mean it, Y/n. I want nothing to do with her. I think it's best that we distance ourselves from our old friends. We have other things to worry about now and soon Voldemort is going to figure out what I did with the locket. Maybe lying low won’t be such a bad idea.”

You lay your head back against Regulus’ shoulder.

“What do you suggest we do?”

You asked. If the two of you were going to “lay low” you knew this meant taking an extended leave from work. Mr. Crouch would probably understand once you let him know fully what was going on. He was already aware that you were back with Regulus.

“As much as I don’t want to do this, maybe staying with Sirius for some time wouldn't be a horrible idea. It will be difficult. I’ve lived with my brother before and...god he’s annoying but he wants to help.”

“Sirius isn’t that bad anymore. He’s actually kind of funny.”

You replied, hoping to ease the tension that you felt in Regulus’ body. Regulus would never admit it to you but he really didn’t mind the idea of being near his brother. Sirius had saved him after all. If Sirius didn’t care, he never would have made sure that Regulus was put back together.

“Yeah, I suppose that he is. I’ll talk to Sirius about everything later. What about us?”

You turned in Regulus’ arms with a confused expression.

“What about us?”

Regulus gently lifted you onto the counter.

“I don’t want you mad at me.”

You reached out and pulled Regulus to you by his shirt. Running your fingers through his hair, you pulled him into a soft kiss.

“I’m not mad at you. I only wish that I could have seen you sass her.”

Regulus smiled against your mouth.

“I told her to shut up and make me a sandwich.”

You were both laughing over that one. That little comment probably got under Emma’s skin more than anything.

“I’m sure she loved that.”

Regulus nodded.

“She was thrilled. I’m sure she doesn’t want me now. She probably thinks that I just order you around like a servant. What can I do to make your day better, love?”

You immediately smiled.

“I want to be fucked now...if you’re up to it.”

Regulus bit his bottom lips before smiling up at you.

“I was asking for it this morning.”

Sliding off of the counter, you wrapped your hand around Regulus’ and tugged him into the bedroom. Regulus didn’t bother to kick the door closed behind him as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Enjoying the closeness was as nice as having him inside of you. In your time apart, you had grown to treasure the small things in your relationship. It wasn’t all about sex anymore. It was about the simple things before sex...the way that Regulus held you, your face pressed in his neck, hearing the sound of his heart beating as your skin finally touched again.

“I can’t believe that it's been two months since I’ve touched you.”

Regulus commented as he tugged your dress over your head.

“Never again.”

He added. You only nodded. There was a lot more that you could say but you had a feeling that Regulus knew it. You could see it in his eyes.

“This means everything...you and I…”

You finally commented before beginning to unbutton his shirt. Regulus reached up to cup your face in his hands. He didn’t want you to look away from him.

“It does...you’re mine.”

The next kiss was soft and sultry for a moment before turning hungry and desperate.

“Love me like you do.”

You whispered against his lips. Regulus reached out and gently pushed you onto the bed.

“As you wish.”

You quickly wiggled your way out of the remaining bits of clothing that was still on your body. Laying back in the soft sheets, you watched with a pleased smile as Regulus undressed. The scars and bruises from that night in the cave were slowly disappearing from his body leaving Regulus’ body as you had known it.

Regulus moved to get on top of you but stopped when you sat up.

“No, lay down.”

You instructed. Regulus didn’t argue as you carefully placed a leg on either side of his body. You took extra care to not put too much weight on him. Even though Regulus said he was fine, you still wondered if he was just trying to act tough so you wouldn’t fuss over him?

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Hurry...I don’t want to wait. Two months has been long enough. I want to claim what is mine.”

Regulus sat up enough to yank your body down onto his. His mouth was back on yours before reaching between your bodies to slowly push in. Your head fell back with each inch that was pushed inside of you.

“Reggie.”

You sighed his name as his mouth latched onto your neck. He could mark you up for all that you cared.

“I could listen to you say my name for hours.”

Regulus groaned, trying to keep his mind on the slow steady pace that he was trying to keep. He wanted nothing more than to pin you down to the mattress and make rough love but today didn’t seem the time. You needed the soft romantic side of lovemaking (even if the slowness drove him crazy at points.) You were worth every moment of this. Besides, Regulus knew that he could win you back over to the rougher side of things as soon as his own body would permit it.

You closed your eyes, trying to hold onto whatever grip on reality that you had. When you could get the strength to open your eyes, you were relieved to see Regulus’ eyes were closed and an expression of sheer ecstasy was on his face. It was taking all that Regulus had to hold on. The way you gently ground your hips to match his slow, deep, penetrating thrusts was enough to make someone who hadn't been touched in two months want to fall apart.

“Close, Reggie.”

You managed to choke out as he nodded eagerly.

“Me too.”

The cascade of an orgasm was enough to make you want to sob in his arms.

“That’s it. Princess...that’s it.”

Regulus muttered like a prayer as he focused his thrusts at pushing you through each wave of what had to be one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Come, beautiful boy.”

You cooed, focusing your attention on pushing him over the edge. Pressing your lips back down to his, you poured whatever passion that you could give into the kiss. Regulus shuddered against your still convulsing body before finishing inside of you.

Neither of you could move for a few quiet moments. You were still gently kissing Regulus hoping to tease whatever you could out of him.

“I think we still have it.”

Regulus commented when you finally pulled away to snuggled back against his face. You didn’t argue when he pulled you back down against him.

“Like we ever lost it…”

______

@amelie-black

@truly-insatiable

@fandomsxxregulus

@lucasfilms77

@spiderxalmighty

@realgaytrash

@exhsle

@sunles

@mrspadfoot4

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@emiwrites3reads

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@stuckinsaudi1

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@knight-of-gleefulness

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

@deanwherescas

@shitfaceddaniel

@wontlookaway

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allalrightagain · 3 years

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Ao3 Stats Tag

@lunapwrites you tagged me in this what feels like forever ago (it was only a couple of days, but still) and this is the first time I've made it to my computer since. Thank you for the tag <3<3!

How many works do you have on AO3?

3, plus a few that should probably move there from other various places.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

4461

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

That I’ve published? Besides Harry Potter, I’ve got like 4 chapters of a Twilight fic I wrote with friends in middle school that will die on ffnet because I a) don’t remember the title, b) don’t remember our username, c) don’t remember the email (I do, weirdly, remember the password) and d) haven’t talked to either friend since like.. 2010.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(also fittingly the same order they were published in):

1) If logic beat hate (by only a little)

2) Where do we begin?

3) ‘78 count

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I got one I felt kind of weird about (and was… probably misinterpreting) a few months ago and haven’t managed to go back and respond to the ones that followed, but it’s my plan to respond to all of them! I totally understand why people might not want to, but I love getting responses back when I leave a comment on someone else’s work, so I’d like to believe I’m extending the warm fuzzy feeling I get back to anyone who comments.

Also, like, fandom is a community, even if some of that has collapsed a bit. We’re all here talking about how sad Remus Lupin’s life is/was/could be (or whatever), and the best way to keep doing that is to just keep talking to each other, even if it’s just a simple thank you/kudos.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh definitely '78 count haha. It's intentional! At its core, it's about death, the death of an entire generation, and survivors who die anyways. It's my lowest read fic, if nothing else than because of the MCD warning.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. Or at least, not that I know of. Maybe my Twilight fic has racked up the flames, but I kind of doubt it.

I spent a long time being terrified of— not even people hating my fic, just like, perceiving it? So, very little of what I’ve thought about has made it to paper (or screen) and even less to people’s eyes. It’s something I’ve gotten a lot better at, and am continuing to do every day.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*laughs in aroace* If I ever manage to write an actual ship, the answer will probably still be no. It takes a lot for me to be interested in a fic enough not to skim through reading smut, I’m fairly certain my own attempts would be “and then they kissed, anyways, moving on.”

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool if someone liked my writing enough to do so!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Gen fic :)? I do like wolfstar and hinny, but I’ll read a lot of pairings as long as it’s a story I’m interested in. I’m a very easy sell, so long as it’s not only about the relationship (and it rarely is).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think that you ever will?

I have a Regulus Lives fic buried on pillowfort that could have used a lot more TLC than it got before seeing the light of day, and it very much got away from me. I learned a lot from what I did write, and a lot of those lessons got applied to DIWF, where they did a lot of good. I just think what I left myself isn’t a story that I can salvage into what I wanted it to be.

What are your writing strengths?

Definitely narrative style, which was my “thing” when I was in college (huge tip to people in creative writing classes— if you’re not sure what to write, pick the last story you read and write a similar story the same way, or pick two and rewrite one using the voice of the other. You will look very good for your prof and improve your writing!).

I think I’m pretty good at dialogue, but not always at making the dialogue sound like the right character.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Mixing dialogue and narration lmao. I can write you a script easily, and a story without dialogue almost as easily, but knowing when and how to build up or break up a scene with description often takes me dozens of rereads, and still feels clumsy to me.

Also length— I’m a short story writer at heart, I want to get in and get out. DIWF is testing my patience with both of these, but I know what I want it to look like, so I just keep beating more words into it XD

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it can be used really successfully, but it’s dependent on the writer knowing the language enough to use it masterfully, and context is extremely important. If the reader is supposed to understand what’s happening, then a translation needs to be conveyed in a way that’s easy to understand (I read mostly on mobile, so hovertext is generally useless, and putting it in the end notes is often annoying). If the goal is the reader and/or character(s) not knowing what’s said, it can come across as dismissive or othering of the other language (again, context=important).

That being said, there’s a special place in my heart for fics with dialogue in French, because I can actually read it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I have an adorable handwritten “and it was all a dream” fic I wrote at like.. 10? Definitely before book 7, and I think before book 6? Harry is killed by Voldemort and wakes up to the Marauders + Lily looking over his crib.

If you’re talking published, it would be the aforementioned Twilight fic I don’t remember.

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh don’t ask me to pick favorites! I like them all for different reasons.

It took me so long to post this I think everyone I would have tagged has done it already? So if you see this and haven’t done it, I’m tagging you <3

#tag games #ask memes #lt talks #hp #hp fic #lt talks about writing

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kyndaris · 3 years

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To All the Books: Always and Forever

For those that know me, there are two things in the world that I love more than anything else: video games and...books. All throughout high school, I was known as the one who always had a book in her bag, ready to whip out when I no longer had to socialise with my fellow mouth-breathers. To be honest, it was a source of shame as I’d be disparaged for reading when I could have been talking. Worse, even back then, people hardly read things beyond the prescribed texts set by the school’s English Department. To many, I was an anomaly. And it was difficult to discuss anything beyond those that had young adults enthralled such as Harry Potter, Twilight and Eragon with any of my friends. Due to my niche repertoire, it was a little harder to find anyone with the same interests. Who’s Trudi Canavan? What’s the Silmarillion?

Note to self: Do not read Chapter 13 of Gene of Isis, which is titled Seduction, when friends can very easily look over your shoulder and wonder why a thirteen year-old might be interested in hands sliding down knees.

In my defence, I skimmed over most of the risque scenes as I was more interested in the actual world-building.

Recently though, I’ve stumbled upon a YouTube channel that features one of the major things I cherish: the written word and the characters lurking within. In fact, it’s been a great joy to delve into a few of the book reviews and to learn about the strange quirks that come from being a reader. It’s also great to hear what they might have liked or disliked about some of my favourite books. And, hopefully when the COVID-19 pandemic finally blows over, I too, hope to stop someone in the produce section of a grocery store to chat about Brandon Sanderson (who, by the way, signed my Mistborn books when he was in Australia for Supanova and I asked him a terribly stupid question because I hadn’t sat in on his panel).

It has also made me wonder that perhaps people might be more interested in hearing my thoughts on books. After all, if the internet has taught me anything, there’s still a sizeable audience for any type of content. Books and Fanfiction included.

The only problem, is that I read for leisure. I’ve always hated how, during English class, we’d try to break down each and every sentence an author inserted into their story. Did it matter that the dress was red? I would say ‘no’ but English Literature professors would say ‘yes.’ Why? Because it represents passion and sexiness and every in between. Clearly, the author is trying to state from the very first chapter that what proceeds next is going to be hot and steamy.

As someone that has dabbled with a bit of writing, I know for a fact that I’ve never put in that much thought about my random background descriptions. Most of the time, it’s been: how does that look good? And if I choose to use ‘pivot’ instead of ‘dodged’ in a combat scene, it’s only because I’m trying to change it up a little. And not because I wanted to allude to my failed career as a ballet dancer (which, by the way, would never have happened because I am a terrible dancer).

I suppose I could always break down the things I liked about narrative or the characters. That’s something I’ve always done with video games. The problem with books, however, is that a lot of the characters also stem from the reader’s imagination. While some authors like to paint an explicit picture of what their protagonists might look like, others just give them broad descriptions and let their readers fill in the rest. It’s why I couldn’t get over the fact that Remus Lupin had a moustache in the Harry Potter films. And probably why I fell in love with book Faramir, but couldn’t seem to love his film portrayal in the Lord of the Rings films (which do make the franchise more palatable. Though, they did do Tom Bombadil a great disservice by not including him).

Still, it’s food for thought.

After all, in this day and age, it’s so hard to find someone that has similar interests as me. Honestly, I’d gladly go on a rant about some of the authors that I’ve been introduced to, and others that I’ve discovered. Better yet, I’ve been also trying to expand what types of books that I read. Though, of course, I’m a little leery about reading romance in public - what with their covers and all.

In any case, 2021 is the year that I hope to continue to indulge in my hobby. Hopefully, I’ll continue to read widely even though I’d much prefer to focus on my core genre that I take the most joy out of exploring. Because, even among readers, there’s judgement. Though this isn’t much explored, I still feel a little out of place to reveal how much I love epic fantasy. This might have been due to my mother hoping I’d read Jane Austen back when I was twelve, but honestly, at that time in my life, magic wands and dragons seemed much cooler than Regency England. Since then, however, I’ve read Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights.

Maybe I’ll read more of Jane Austen’s works in the future and develop a deeper appreciation for her writing. For now, my favourite is still Jane Eyre. Even if Rochester is a problematic love interest.

As for my other books, well...all I can say is that I appreciate how fast Mr Brandon Sanderson writes and I look forward to the next story in the Stormlight Archives. Scott Lynch, I need more from Locke and his merry gang of thieves. And you...Patrick Rothfuss...will you ever be able to finish what you’ve started?

But, just like my games, it might be best to go through the huge pile that I’ve yet to finish. Why is it every time that I enter a bookstore I seem to know no restraint and buy, buy, buy? There have been many books that have sat on my shelves, just waiting to be devoured, but have been eclipsed by the latest and shiny titles of a few of my favourite authors.

#personal blog #books

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homenum-revelio-hq · 4 years

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Welcome (back) to the Order of the Phoenix, Gabe!

You have been accepted for the role of REMUS LUPIN! We loved your thoughts on the darker, more difficult layers of Remus’s friendships and fears and we were fascinated by your ideas about lycanthropy’s effects on his gender transition! We’re so happy you’ve come back to Homenum Revelio, and excited to see you on our dash again!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Gabe

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE: GMT-3

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Honestly pretty active, I’m still quarantined and will stay that way for a good while, probably. Remus is just one of those characters that comes easy to me, so good chances that I’ll be around a lot, hah. I’m most active on the weekdays! Weekends my sister usually tricks me into watching a billion movies or a new show, so I end up being less present.

ANYTHING ELSE: Nope!

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Remus John Lupin

AGE: 21

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: trans male, he/him/his, he’d rather not classify his sexuality as anything other than not-straight.

Remus didn’t start taking the wonderful Attisgalli Corrective Draughts until he joined Hogwarts officially, as his parents wanted to wait for that before they started him on the gender reassignment potions. That’s not to say they didn’t support their son’s identity, which he’d been frankly very vocal about since he could talk, they just wanted to be sure that he would be safe. He already had a lot on his plate. Being a werewolf, they needed to make sure the potions could even be safely used with someone like him, so they waited to talk to Dumbledore and his trusty team of potion-makers about it. Remus was on corrective draughts for all of his puberty and he’s currently on the heavier dose that only needs updating every few years. He has a few annoying side-effects after taking the wrong dosage too early. He doesn’t suppose many people know about this, and he doesn’t particularly care to tell anyone, apart from the people who already know.

As far as his sexuality goes, I don’t think he likes any of the labels he’s stumbled upon, I don’t think he openly – or even privately – calls himself anything when it comes to sexuality. He just doesn’t give it much thought. He likes whoever he likes, and if you were to say “oh, so you’re pansexual, then”, he might simply offer you a tired grunt and an unhappy twist of his face. He doesn’t feel comfortable in any boxes. “Queer” as an umbrella term would be the closest he’d get to labeling himself. All that being said, as the writer, I’d personally put him as a 4 on the kinsey scale, but that’s between you and me.

BLOOD STATUS: Half-blood/Half-breed

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: Don’t think so! I’m keeping the fc of Charlie Rowe after surfing through many others because I think he does Upset & Angry right. That’s really important for a Remus, he’s working through a lot right now. I also really considered to go for Paul Mescal from the new show “Normal People” because I think he has a great normal face and (from what I can tell, maybe) some pretty scars on his chin and he has some great scenes BUT he currently has no resources. Also considered Louis Hofmann, from netflix’s Dark, but decided he looked too young, even though he’s in his twenties, too. Anyway, just wanted to briefly take you with me on that faceclaim journey, the conclusion is that I love Charlie Rowe and I didn’t know him before so I thank you guys for suggesting him!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Remus today is very different from who he was in Hogwarts. That’s no surprise, of course – who doesn’t grow out of their weird teenage years? But it feels different with him, and that’s because at seventeen, Remus already had enough baggage to count for an adult. So where does that leave you, at twenty-one?

He is a lot of things. He is tired, he is angry, he is devastated, he is young. If before he was only a boy, crushed under the weight of all the things that happened to him, now he is a man, standing tall but hardened by life’s constant beating. He hasn’t so much overcome his issues as he has simply grown friendly with his demons. His edges have turned sharper, his hands have grown colder, he’s losing contact with his faith.

That’s not to say his core has changed. Remus is kind, before anything else. He hasn’t lost the warmth his mother taught him, because that kind of empathy is not something one easily shrugs off. Even the war couldn’t take this from him. It wears him down these days, being selfless, having a caring vein and needing to look after others. He’s already lost so much, and he doesn’t see this changing anytime soon, as they continue to lose battle after battle, but this is still who he is. He wants a better world, he wants the good side to win.

Remus is also very secretive. He can come across as cold or distant to people he doesn’t know, because he had a lifetime of keeping himself concealed. It’s his defense mechanism and it’s how he’s kept himself alive after all these years.

In fact, he’s not even fully sure how his few friends managed to slip under that armour so easily. Sure, his armour wasn’t so well-built when he was a child, but it was still some work. He was once simply a scared eleven-year-old, eager to learn and be a good student, and suddenly he ended up in a lifelong bond with three other idiots. In a lot of ways, he owes so much of his personality to the Marauders. He bloomed in Hogwarts, he had a safe and healthy environment with people he loved, he could finally grow into a normal boy; he cracked jokes and he made fun of himself and he learned not to take things so seriously. He was not just a werewolf, not just a monster. He’s a great friend, he’s funny on his good days, he’s sarcastic and kind and protective of his friends. He owes this to them.

Remus is a trans man who started taking corrective draughts as soon as he entered Hogwarts. Dumbledore was the one who encouraged his parents to allow this, promising he’d keep an eye out and take care of Remus. There wasn’t exactly any research done on whether or not the potions would affect a werewolf’s body differently, so they’d have to be cautious, but several potion makers insisted nothing should go wrong.

They were right, technically. The potions didn’t react any kind of way with his blood, they did their work normally. It also perhaps helped that most of the side-effects were all things that Remus had been dealing with his whole life, due to the curse: muscle and joint aches, mood swings, headaches. The only catch was that every time he turned, every full moon, when he came back into his human form, the draught had completely worn off.

This made things a little more complicated. It didn’t mean anything to his health, thankfully, all he had to do was take another dose of the potion in the morning and he’d be back on track. It was something about his metabolism overworking, the fact that his body healed itself after each moon. They could never quite fix that little quirk – every morning after the full moon, he’d wake up in a body that didn’t belong to him.

This was when he was on a small dosage of the draught, of course, still going through puberty and taking the so-called “Children’s Corrective Doses” that had to be ingested every week.

Despite the general crippling discomfort of briefly being in the wrong body once a month, it was fine when he was making the turns by himself at first. Then the Marauders joined, and that was weird; it took him a while to agree to their presence and it wasn’t only because they could be in danger. He was scared of being that vulnerable, too.

Because of this monthly hiccup on the process, potioneers instructed that he should be on this smaller dose for as long as possible before he transitioned safely into the “Permanent Corrective Dose”. Five years at least, seven if he could, before he switched to the potion that he’d only have to take every two years or more. This shouldn’t be a problem, he thought innocently, hearing this at age eleven.

By sixteen, the temptation of the Permanent Dose was too grand. It stopped being bearable after a while, the whole “waking up in the wrong body once a month” experience. And the temptation was there because the potioneers said that an adult dosage would likely fix that monthly issue. All he wanted was to stop worrying about this thing – wasn’t the fact that he turned into a murderous beast more than enough? Besides, he was turning seventeen soon, he was most likely done with puberty, he had done the smaller doses for six years already.

So the Marauders made a grand plan. And out of all the illegal, morally questionable things Remus has done, he probably holds this one as the best. They managed to buy him a vial of a Permanent Corrective Dose, and he drank it without thinking twice.

This didn’t come without consequences. Dumbledore was mad. His parents were mad. Every potioneer he knew was pretty annoyed. He frankly couldn’t give a damn, he was overjoyed – it had worked. The moon came, and for the first time when he came back to his senses, he was in the right body, his body. He didn’t care if anyone was pissed at him.

He still doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the debilitating migraines he still gets as a side-effect. He doesn’t care that his muscles will sometimes cramp, or that his skin sometimes feels raw. He can handle all of that – quite frankly, he’s happy to deal with all of that, if it means keeping his body through the transformations.

It’s important to take from this that Remus Lupin doesn’t shy away from many things. He likes to deal with things head-on, he is a Gryffindor, after all. Once Dumbledore sent him to live with the werewolves shortly after graduating, he made sure to take another permanent dose, a heavier one, to last him however long he stayed out. This time the draught was acquired legally, since he was already of age, but the higher dose in this short amount of time wasn’t exactly what the mediwix ordered. This ended up aggravating his side-effects.

Still – and perhaps that is a testament to his stubbornness –, he’ll tell you this was all worth it.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Remus grew up in a happy home. Well, as happy as a family could be, while plagued by the curse of lycanthropy. So maybe not so happy at all.

He doesn’t remember much of his early childhood, if you ask him. He remembers the looming sense of despair, he remembers seeing his parents cry through cracks of barely open doors, he remembers quiet dinners and he remembers feeling awful. He can’t remember not being a werewolf, but he thinks they were the happiest before that.

They were okay after it, eventually, too. They all had to learn to navigate it, and once he grew a little older, things were easier, as easy as they would get. He remembers that time a little better – the times just before he went to Hogwarts and his time at the castle, too.

Overall, Remus grew up with a good family, he’d tell you. They didn’t have many distant relatives, so it was always just the three of them, and his parents were supportive – mostly. Hope was the warmth of the house, and if anything, she only grew closer to Remus after he was bitten. She was overprotective, and stern, and she had trouble handling when things didn’t go exactly her way, but those are hardly things kids notice about their parents when they’re still kids. He could tell you this today, but his memories of her are still all sugar-coated, tinted pink, gentle.

She didn’t understand his gender identity at first, his father once told him. Hope still had too many roots in the muggle world, it took her some time to wrap her head around all of these ideas. Lyall was the one who had to sit her down and explain to her about the corrective draught, and how common it actually was, how safe. She was the one who wanted to wait for a talk with the Headmaster before she let him take the potions.

Luckily for Remus, he was so young by the time she was having those first doubts and issues with his identity, he doesn’t have any bad memories of that. To him, she never mistreated him, and he never felt anything but accepted. She protected him with all of her heart, and that included all of him, her son, and a werewolf.

In fact, one of his fondest memories of her is getting a haircut, before his very first day in Hogwarts. He usually wore his hair somewhere a little above shoulder-length, a little choppy; he just liked how it swung when he ran, to be honest, and how it splattered water everywhere if he spun his head really fast in the shower. But he was terrified of having magic classes for the first time, he was scared of being thrown into a castle full of people he didn’t know, far away from his parents, the only safe haven he knew. She was the one who suggested a haircut first. They sat and flipped through silly muggle magazines until he found a cut he liked on some cologne ad, and she did it herself. Looks somewhat similar to what he still has as a haircut, if only with more bowlcut-esque qualities back then.

Lyall was more distant, growing up. Hope had little trouble getting over her bias of gender to accept his identity, but his father couldn’t do the same for his curse. If you asked Remus, he never really accepted his child being a werewolf, he was ashamed of his condition.

If you asked Lyall, the story’s a bit different. He was distant, but only because he couldn’t deal with all of the turmoil within himself. He couldn’t look at his child without thinking that he was the one responsible for Fenrir’s attack. He was responsible for his son being a werewolf, cursed forever – how could he look at Remus and see past that? Of course he was distant. Of course he dedicated his time trying to find a cure. As the turns hurt Remus, they hurt his father just as much. Every moon, he suffered with him.

It was hard for him, looking past that, but not because he was in any way ashamed of the condition. He felt sorry, and he didn’t know where to put all the guilt. He didn’t want to spend all of his time pitying his child, but he did. And it was easier to be distant when he felt undeserving of his son’s love in the first place; there would never be anything he could do to make up for this.

In conclusion, they were good parents, but it would also be unfair to completely ignore that Remus has such an issue with being a werewolf, as an adult, and – given that he was closeted about that his whole life –, this must’ve come from his parents. Their efforts to protect and hide Remus’ lycanthropy have not done him any good on the long run, they have not quite focused on the “but also, love yourself” part of their speech. Not to fully blame them or anything, of course there isn’t a “how to raise a werewolf” manual out there, and they had to deal with so much since he was just a little boy, they did what they had to do to keep their child safe. Remus truly believes they did the very best they could, and that they were perfect parents, given the circumstances.

I don’t think it registers to him that they may be the very root of the crippling self-deprecation he feels, and frankly, I don’t think it ever will register. This is not the kind of thing you unravel within yourself without some serious help.

Nowadays, since Hope’s passing, the two Lupin men have managed to grow closer. The hurt is still there, Remus still thinks his father is too cold and ashamed of him, and Lyall thinks he’s guilty and that Remus must hate him. They’re not big on talking about feelings, but they’re warmer with each other now than they ever were. That’s not saying much, it’s barely anything more than the occasional back pat and smile, but Remus likes to think Hope would be happy.

OCCUPATION:

He currently still works with the Dissendum Task Force, as he feels truly at home taking care of that part of things. He wants a job, he always wanted to be able to take care of himself, of course, I imagine he put up a fight when it came to depending solely on James’ money. He always intended to pay it back, to eventually find something for himself. He grew comfortable, the slightest bit, with James’ money, knowing he had that safety net while he figured things out, and while they all had bigger things to worry about. Now he has lost his friend, and he needs to find something, anything, to keep himself afloat, and all of this on top of the grieving, it might just make him reach a breaking point.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Remus feels like a paradox within the order. He feels both at the very center of it, as well as standing on the outside, looking in. He believes in them wholeheartedly, even if he’s not so sure he stumbled upon all of this belief himself, or if it’s been drilled into him by one very dedicated James Potter. And now that James is gone – how should he know how to feel?

More and more, he feels like he’s simply floating around in this war, a walking mystery, neither here nor there. He does as he’s told, he helps whoever he can help, and he won’t say a peep but he is starting to question his own faith, at this point. It’s difficult not to. He had a problem going with the werewolves, of course, and that time was generally awful, but he owed Dumbledore too much to say no. How much of what he does really is his choice, or someone else’s? He’s starting to grow tired of it.

He loves his friends more than anything, therefor he loves the Order, but he’s afraid of how long this might last.

SURVIVAL:

Remus is always on the move, but that’s nothing new to him. He’s been on the move since he was a kid, occasionally dragged off from one side of Europe to another, their family led by his father’s blind ambition towards finding a cure. He never felt like he could truly stop, and he grew up to embrace a sense of restlessness. The first place he truly understood the meaning of “home” was the castle, and even then, he knew his time there would have an end. In a way, this has helped him survive. He stays alert, he stays on the move. He’s always ready to pack up and disappear, as long as he knows he has the right people on his side.

His current living situation is, I imagine, complicated at best. He wouldn’t want to get a place on money that’s not his own, and he’s never been able to make his own money, at least not substantially. First, he was out with the other werewolves, he followed them anywhere and slept wherever he could when he needed to.

Then, he stayed at the McKinnon estate, and even though he knows he can stay there, he’s still often looking over his shoulder, waiting for the day they’ll kick him out. It still doesn’t feel right. It never does. He hasn’t felt at home since Hogwarts – or, perhaps, the odd times in between when he couch surfed wherever Sirius, James, or Peter were staying.

Now, he’s with his father momentarily, hiding. He hasn’t told Lyall anything that happened, he just packed up and showed up at his father’s doorstep. The contact isn’t ideal, but Remus needed the full recharge, even if just for a day or two. Lyall welcomed him with a brow heavy with concern, but he put the kettle on for some tea anyway, and he didn’t ask questions he didn’t want the answers to. Remus deemed that good enough.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Oh, boy. Things are a mess. This is the emo part of the app.

I must start this section talking about how much friends mean to Remus. They mean everything. Everything he heard since he was five-years-old was how much he needed to hide himself, how badly he needed to keep this secret, or everything would end terribly. He was a monster. He was capable of horrible, despicable things, and no one could accept him. By eleven, he’d come to term with this. By eleven, he barely even believed he’d get the chance to study. This is the weight this little kid had to carry around.

And then – enter the Marauders, the best, most miraculous thing to happen to him. A boy with a curse, suddenly welcomed into the coolest group of kids he’d ever met. He honestly felt like it was some kind of lie, or an elaborate prank. Those very first months after they met, he’d wait until the others all fell asleep and he’d write letters to his mom, telling her all about them. He’d write fast and he’d write over several sheets of parchment, talking about all the wonderful, terrible things that boys their age did. He was happy.

Eventually, he stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. They grew close, the others found out his secret, they never once turned away from him. They helped him. They loved each other, the lot of them. And it was so, so much more than a monster could hope for – still, to this day, he’s not sure how they do it, how they can love him. He owes them so much, but it’s not even about that, it’s not about owing. If he did, he’d owe them his entire soul. There’s not enough space in his body, in his heart, for how much he owes them.

They were, and they continue to be, everything.

And then the war happened. They parted ways, and by the time Remus came back, things had shifted. Things felt off. He was certain the love was still there – it has to be, it has to –, but it felt like it was stained, tainted by something else, something ugly. Suddenly, he’s not sure he can trust them anymore, but he doesn’t know if that’s his gut speaking, or if it’s paranoia.

That’s the duality of man, and the duality of monster, he supposes. Everything trails between gut feeling and paranoia. He’s scared of being doubted, so he’ll turn a pointing finger right back. If they think he can be a mole, then they can be a mole.

He’s terrified of losing them. More than anything, Remus really is terrified of losing his loved ones. He knows he can survive it; he’s lost his mum, he now lost James, you would think he’s hardened enough by now to be able to take it, but he’s not. In his eyes, they are his humanity. What is he, if he doesn’t have his friends? What’s a monster if he isn’t loved?

They all knew going into this that it wouldn’t be easy, sure, but sometimes Remus feels a little alone in how much he feels. It seems like the world keeps turning, the war doesn’t stop for grief. And it feels like everyone else picks themselves up and moves right along with it, but he can’t. Every death weighs on him, every loss has just been piling and piling up onto his shoulders and he doesn’t know how much else he can take. He feels like everyone else is so much better equipped for this. They all mourn, sure, but… do they? They can’t be feeling this like he does, because if they were, they’d be feeling this crippling dread. They’d be feeling how hard it is to move, how shaky his hands feel all the time, how his heart seems to be broken into a million pieces and all of his insides have rottened.

He resents that. He wants to be able to grieve openly without feeling like he’s slowing anyone down. He wants to be able to feel things, and give them time, before they’re running into the next death trap that could easily take another one of his loved ones. He really needs the time to stop and feel this, because it’s crushing him, and he doesn’t feel like any of his friends understand how bad it is – which in itself is the most crushing part of it. When did they all become these sort of robots programmed for war? And why didn’t he get that memo?

James Potter – Don’t get me started on the duality of being so hurt by the fact that your best friend outed your biggest, most damning secret to everyone, and then died. I mean. What the fuck, James. In all seriousness, this is a lot to handle, which is why he deserves to be mentioned in this section even if this doesn’t exactly make for new plots. Remus doesn’t know how to feel; normally he’d be upset at that betrayal, accidental or not, but he didn’t even have the time to process that, before grief steamrolled into everything. He wants to be angry. He wants the right to be mad, to maybe yell at James, to hear his apologies and immediately forgive him, because of course he’s not really angry, he’s just scared. And instead, he gets silence.

Sirius Black – Sirius always has a way of filling up every room he walks into. Remus always thought he’d be better off if he was a little more like Sirius, and maybe that’s why they work – how opposing their energies are. Remus is always trying to make himself smaller. In a way, this is also why they don’t work, on the times they don’t. Sirius was probably the person he trusted the most, even if they didn’t always see eye to eye. It hurts him a lot to think that maybe this trust is broken now; that maybe after all of this, they’ll end up too cold and distant to have the friendship they used to have. He hopes, blindly, that’s not the case.

Peter Pettigrew – He feels protective towards Peter. Maybe that stems from their years in the castle, how Peter was seen as the little kid who trailed behind them and not one of the Marauders himself. Remus never liked hearing that. And Peter is different than the others to him, he always seemed a bit smaller, a bit more innocent; Sirius and James have no trouble taking care of themselves, that’s not even a question. Peter, on the other hand. Remus feels like he needs to help him any way he can.

Lily Evans – He loves Lily like a sister. She reminds him of his mother, sometimes, with her warmth and her determination. She’s the strongest person he knows, and he think he’d probably trust her and follow her blindly anywhere – or, at least, he felt like that when they were all in school. He still wishes they were closer nowadays, he wishes they spoke more.

Marlene McKinnon – She’s too cool for him, honestly. Plain and simple, somewhere in the core of his being, he’s still just a really lame teenager who thinks she might be too cool to hang out with him. He’s grateful that he gets to crash at the estate, but he’s also well-aware of her family’s view of the half-breeds. He can’t quite relax while he’s there, he keeps expecting to be discovered and kicked out any passing second. Now that his secret is out, he fears she’ll turn on him.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS:

I ship Remus/chemistry first, always, of course! I always find that you have to throw characters together in action before you start planning anything, you never know where the chemistry will be. I’ve taken part in many a ships in my time, Sirius/Remus probably being the main one, but in this context, everything’s a little trickier! It’s a very unstable, difficult time, and this is a very sad and angry Remus. He wants something, he wants to have someone, I just don’t think he even knows how, or where to begin with. I think he pushes the idea of romance so far back in his brain, thinking he can never have it, that it’s almost an impossibility in itself because of it. I think he’ll have a very difficult time believing anyone wants him like that, even if it does happen. I really look forward to possibly exploring any ships if chemistry happens! And I don’t think I have any anti-ships, currently. All is fair in the rp land.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

It is safe to say Remus has a bias against werewolves, in the saddest, most twisted way possible. Yes, he is one, and he doesn’t deny that to himself, but there’s a reason why he’s so careful to hide it from everyone else, why he was so reluctant in letting even his closest friends help him out – he agrees with all the stories and tales. He doesn’t feel proud to have this curse, he wouldn’t defend it if someone were to attack it.

They are monsters, once a month, under the moon. It doesn’t matter if his friends for years tried to convince him he’s a good person, he won’t believe it until he lets go of these horrible ideas he has of the curse itself. Even after meeting so many others like him. He may think hating it – hating himself – makes him better, a higher moral ground on the scale, as opposed to the werewolves who flaunt it. He may think some of them, like Fenrir, are worse than him for this, but it doesn’t make things that much better for how he views them.

As far as privileges go, Remus recognizes he has it pretty easy as far as his family life goes. He had loving parents – as far as he can tell –, he had a normal home life; he’s a half-blood, which meant he usually flew under the radar, considering how other wix seemed to view muggleborns, in contrast.

But as far as privileges he doesn’t recognize, I’d say that’s probably more interesting. Remus thinks of himself as a monster. A werewolf, bitten while he was still so young. His bite scar sits on his shoulder, now grown and shifted but the pale scar tissue never gone, an ugly mark. He doesn’t think himself particularly handsome, he doesn’t see many talents that stand out. He thinks he’s pretty much at the very bottom of the food chain.

Which is all kind of untrue, he’s blinded by his self-deprecation. Everyone has privileges, he is no different. He’s a werewolf, and that’s terrible, but other than that he’s not exactly doing too bad. He was always a good student, he liked studying, good grades came easy. His looks had never proven to be a problem, even if he believes it is. He had a good home, dedicated parents, he never ran out of money for books and robes and chocolate bars growing up. If you strip Remus of his lycanthropy – and lord knows he’s dreamed of that –, the truth is, he doesn’t have anything else to feel sorry about. And he’s so stuck feeling sorry for himself all the time, that he has a hard time recognizing his privileges and biases.

To him, he’s a monster, but to anyone else who doesn’t know of his condition, he’s really just another regular guy fighting the war. Of course, now, with everyone’s discovery – things will change.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Well, I’m not new to this scene, hi, hello! So I already know everyone here is an amazing writer, and I adore you admins (I promise I’m not just sucking up for the sake of the app, it’s true). I love Remus, it’s been a few years since I last played him but he’s the muse that’s always alive in my head – this is the fastest and longest bio I ever wrote, to prove my point, aha. I especially love this Remus, the mid-war, post-Hogwarts, “can’t get a job”, “questioning the loyalty of the people I love the most” Remus. He’s feeling a lot. He’s tired, he’s angry, he’s grown sharp edges from the soft boy he once was. There’s so much to explore, and while it’s definitely a little scary to fill in someone else’s shoes, I’m really looking forward to writing with everyone and exploring all the many plots and relationships possible!

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL):

I’m terrible at these, I’ll admit, but I am open to everything you may want to throw my way! I also think I’ll need to take a second to acclimate into any of Remus’ pre-existing plots before throwing around any specifics of my own.

That being said, though, something that I’m excited to explore is his current unemployment. I want him to search for some kind of proper job to try to pay things for himself. I think he’s too proud to ask anyone else for help at this point, and he might have several emotional breakdowns on this process, but he’s gonna do his best. Also anything to do with his current (quite terrible) side-effects from Attisgalli Corrective Draughts, or exploring his gender identity in general, I’d love that!

ANYTHING ELSE? I was gonna do a pinterest board but I’ll spare you guys the trouble for now, this is already 11 pages long. Oops! Thank you for reading!!

#marauders era rpg #hp rpg #marauders rpg #harry potter roleplay #hp roleplay #homenumaccepted

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tadasgay · 5 years

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the shitty summer camp au you didn’t ask for but definitely deserve

@jilychallenge | vs @diggorye 😘😘😘

prompt: “i got lost on this campground at night and i am so sorry i thought this was my tent and now i’m waking up next to you and um hi this is just a little awkward” camping AU

(originally this was a lot longer but it had to be cut because i couldn’t find it in me to be happy with where it was going. this au rly warrants a 40k word fic written by someone who is not me)

___

The only bad part about summer camp, Lily thinks, is that when your sister decides to call you at one in the morning to ask if you’ve taken her hair straightener with you (to camp) and if you could please stop stealing her stuff (which you haven’t), is that you have to walk around in the dark for ten minutes before you can get even a hint of reception (if you’re lucky). And then, of course, you have to listen to your sister accuse you of taking stuff you don’t even want nor need for another twenty minutes, in the dark, alone, in the middle of nowhere, where anyone could creep up on you, and then the last thing you’ll ever hear as some weirdo without a life artfully murders you is your sister whisper-shouting about how you really need to stop taking her stuff without asking.

Something should be done about this, really.

“Come on, Tuney.” She sighs, one thumb between her brows as if that can single-handedly hold the oncoming wrinkles back. The light outside the tutors’ cabins suddenly seem very far away. “My phone’s about to die. Could we please do this when I’m not standing in a bush?”

She hears Petunia suck air in deeply on the other end through her teeth. “Lily, you’re not seven anymore. You can’t just skirt responsibility every time you get caught doing something wrong.”

“I know that. Which is why if I had stolen your hair straightener, I would have told you already.”

“You’re completely ignoring my point–”

Brightly, Lily goes “okay, bye!” and punctuates it by ending the call.

Let Petunia be mad. It’s much better than Petunia fuming over Lily in a coffin six feet under because she accidentally tripped over a root in the middle of the night and died. They probably wouldn’t find her body for at least six more hours. Rigor mortis would have done all sorts of funky things to her body by then. Think of the children, she telepathically tells Petunia, across all those kilometres, it’s enough to traumatise anyone for life.

There’s enough light from the moon to get her back to the tents. She remembers to dodge the beginnings of a shallow creek just outside the spindly trees she’d been hiding in; to walk around the prickle patch separating Mary’s and Regulus Black’s tents. The grass sighs as a gentle wind passes over it, and she is a shadowy girl, filling the night.

She unzips the opening to her tent as quietly as she can and shimmies over to her designated corner. Her clumsy hand bumps into someone sleeping on top of her sleeping bag in the darkness; she might need to have another word to Dorcas about keeping to her own side in the morning.

She lays down, banishes all thoughts of Petunia and missing hair straighteners, and dreams.

___

She wakes some time before sunrise, or some time quickly after she’d fallen asleep; she’s not too sure. There’s something unusually heavy on her torso, and when she sleepily pushes it off her, she realises that something is not quite right.

James Potter stares at her from her side. There’s enough light from the distant moonlight to see that he’s somewhere between confused and horrified, snatching his arm back like he’s been burned.

“What are you doing here?” She whispers loudly.

“I could ask the same of you.” James retorts.

“I–” Lily starts, looks around the tent, and realises with sudden clarity that she doesn’t need to have a word with Dorcas in the morning. For starters, Dorcas isn’t here. Secondly, there is no way Dorcas got replaced by the sleeping forms of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Doctor Who style. “I am totally in the wrong tent.”

“How’d you get in here?” Laughter lurks between the letters.

“Through the zipper.”

“Why are you here?” He corrects.

“It’s not like it was intentional.” She whispers hotly. The worst thing she could do right now is wake up the others and be subject to even more humiliation. It’s one thing for James to relay the series of events to his friends, quite another for them to experience it with him.

A quick note about James Potter: calling him a walking headache would be too much of a compliment. He’s committed a long list of atrocities, including kicking a ball at Dorcas on the first day during the welcome party and not apologising; very loudly calling Evan Rosier a ‘gossipy creep’, which is true, but she still wouldn’t have said it to his face in front of everyone; and being very annoyingly attractive from every possible angle.

Their two brief and infrequent interactions had been enough for Lily to understand that he was pretty, and funny, but foolheartedly arrogant, and kind of a total prat. Like, what kind of person won’t stop touching their hair? Or thinks it’s funny to try cover their own friend in craft glue? Don’t they know that trying to get that stuff off is akin to human torture?

She is getting used to living with the unfolding mystery of herself, and being into James Potter is just something she’s going to have to accept.

Once she lives this down.

“Hey, you don’t have to leave.” He goes when she starts to roll herself off the mattress. “McGonagall made Peter clean the kayaks for sneaking into Bertha Jorkins’s tent the other night.”

She makes a face, not that he can see it. “Well, that’s what he gets for trying it on with Bertha and then telling everyone about it.This is entirely a mistake.”

“You wanna explain to her how you got in here in the – what? Middle of the night? What were you doing out there, anyway?”

“If you must know,” her voice is clipped, even in a whisper, “I had an urgent family phone call.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“That’s not important!”

“What is important, though,” he sounds far too earnest, “is that McGonagall will at the very least take your phone off you if you get caught gallivanting between tents in the dark, even if you’re her favourite. So you don’t need to feel bad about staying here. Unless you’re super uncomfortable with it.” He adds quickly, because apparently he’s not as prattish to his core as he’s made himself out to be. “I’ll stay to my own side and everything.”

She ignores the tell-tale beat of her wanting heart. Why does he have to be considerate? Doesn’t he know what he’s doing to her poor, delicate heartstrings? “I don’t think you’re trying to do anything untoward with me. But I can’t ask you to stay on your own side of your bed.”

“Good thing you’re not asking. I’m offering.”

This moment, at age seventeen, with a cute boy in the dark, should be a moment magical enough to fall in love. It isn’t. But it should be.

Really, it’s just extremely awkward.

She swallows, then smiles. “Thanks for not kicking me out of your tent just yet.”

“Any time. I apologise in advance for whatever shit gets stirred in the morning.”

She lies back down, leaving an ample amount of space between them. She’s on the very edge of the top of the sleeping bag, but she’s had worse sleeping arrangements – namely, being slept on top of by Dorcas. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to sleep when her stomach is rolling about like an ocean in a storm, but she’ll certainly try.

Her mouth is dry when she goes, “well, I’d say it’s better than cleaning kayaks.”

“Jesus, would you two shut up?” Sirius says.

___

(Later, Lily will think that a summer romance should go like this:

They fall in love at first sight. It’s meant to be a punch to her plexus, followed by everything you’re meant to feel when you fall in love; like they’re unwinding into each other, like their hearts beat as one, yada yada yada. She is not supposed to trip over her tongue around a cute, brash boy, or get into his tent, or have her friends manipulate them into spending time alone together. She is supposed to be confident and cocksure and charming. She’s meant to dazzle him with her smile and wit.

Later, Lily will think that, perhaps, the whole thing is total bullshit.)

___

PETUNIA: Found it. PETUNA: Antonia from across the road was borrowing it x

#jilychallenge #jily #fanfiction #maybe one day i'll clean up the 3k other words and post it :+)

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cyborgsquirrel · 4 years

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Sanctuary: Chapter 19

Pairing: Wolfstar

Summary: The epic tale of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, from their first meeting until their happily ever after.

Link to Prologue

Link to All Chapters

Tuesday, 5th October 1971, 4:30 pm

Remus left the hospital wing and headed straight for Gryffindor tower. He was still a little sore from his transformation, but there was no way he was going to admit that to Madam Pomfrey. Knowing her, she would keep him in for an extra night, and he wanted to see his friends too much for that. He had information they needed to know.

Before leaving, though, he had asked her about the mystery of his full-moon symptoms starting so much earlier than normal, and she had put it down to how much he was using his magic every day. It was nice to have an answer, but, on this occasion, he hoped she was wrong. If she was right, it meant three full days of pain every month instead of one. Although, when he really thought about it, he had to admit, if he were forced to choose between Hogwarts and less pain, he would choose Hogwarts. Even if it meant pain all day every day, he would choose Hogwarts.

He clambered through the portrait hole, dashed across the common room (as much as he could dash with his aching joints, other people would probably call it a meander), and up the stairs to the dorm.

He burst into the room with an excited, ‘Guys, I’ve figured it out!’ kicking the door closed behind him, crossing the room and dropping his bag on his bed.

‘Figured what out?’ James asked, leaping off his bed and jumping around, apparently caught up in the excitement.

‘Hello, Remus. And how are you feeling?’ Sirius asked from where he was lounging on his bed and writing in his journal.

Remus turned to face Sirius. ‘I’m all better now, thank you. Nothing to worry about.’ He turned back to James, who was still bouncing on his toes waiting for the news. ‘I’ve figured out how to make everyone burp bubbles.’

‘Yes!’ James punched the air. ‘You are the best researcher a team of magical mischief-makers could ever ask for! How do we do it?’

Remus smiled. He had been hoping the news would be sufficient distraction to keep them from asking questions about his hospital stay. It looked like it was working.

‘The belch powder uses delayed transfiguration, like on the robes the Marauder did. So all we have to do is add an extra layer and set it to be triggered two seconds after the first layer.’

‘And you know how to do that?’ Peter asked.

‘Yes, it’s really easy. I can show you.’

Sirius closed his journal and placed it gently on the bed next to him, stood up in a single, graceful movement and sauntered over to him. ‘Hmm,’ he said, looking Remus right in the eyes. ‘I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ blood went cold.

-o-o-o-o-

‘Hmm, I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ face went white. Shit. That was an epically piss-poor choice of words. Sirius hurried to finish before Remus did something ridiculously stupid, like outing himself by shouting, “I’m not a werewolf.”

‘You’re the Hogwarts Marauder,’ he said, pointing at him.

‘What?’ James said.

Sirius turned to James to explain his theory. And to take the attention off of Remus, who seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. ‘He has regular access to the laundry,’ he said, ticking each point off on his fingers. ‘He has apparently used delayed transfiguration before because he knows it’s “easy.” And he somehow knows the Marauder used delayed transfiguration to do the robe trick. He is amazingly good at transfiguration, as if he’s had lots of extra practice. And I’m pretty sure he was lying when he said he’d never altered a spell before. Therefore, I conclude, he is the Marauder.’

James’ eyes went wide, and he turned to Remus. ‘Is he right? Are you the Marauder?’

Remus seemed to have regained control of his lungs and he nodded. ‘Yeah. You got me, Sirius. It was me.’

‘That is so bloody brilliant!’ James said, returning to bouncing like an over-excited squirrel. ‘We can all be The Marauders! It’s much easier to say than magical mischief-makers. Oh, I wish we’d known before the niffler hunt. We could have used it for our team name.’

‘Breathe, James,’ Sirius said, laughing.

‘That was awesome, Remus. I really liked the lion,’ Peter said.

‘Thanks, Pete. I can make you another one if you like?’

Peter grinned. ‘Yes, please!’

James suddenly stopped bouncing. ‘If we’re going to be a club, we need rules and stuff.’

Remus frowned. ‘We’re a club now?’

‘Hell yeah, we’re a club!’ Sirius said.

James ran over to his trunk and pulled out another brand new notebook with a beautiful red dragon-hide cover, before sitting at the head of his bed cross-legged and patting the mattress in front of him. ‘Come on.’

Sirius and Peter were quick to pile on, but Remus hesitated. Sirius shuffled further over to make more room for him. ‘Come on, mate. You’re safe with us.’

Remus climbed onto the bed with extreme caution, sitting himself right on the edge. He was in danger of falling off, but Sirius didn’t want to push him. The full moon was only last night. Speaking of which…

‘Oh, if this is our first club meeting, then we should have chocolate,’ he said, before climbing carefully off the bed and going to his trunk to fetch the extra-large box of chocolate frogs he’d ordered ready for today. Fancy expensive chocolates were delicious, but right now Remus needed quantity, not quality, and he figured he’d be willing to eat more if they were cheap ones.

Sirius plonked the box in the middle of James’ bed and climbed back on.

James raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Are we ready now?’

‘Not quite,’ Sirius said. He ripped the box open, took out four chocolate frogs, throwing one to each of them and ripping the fourth open, before taking a bite. ‘Now we’re ready.’

James chuckled and shook his head. Ignoring his chocolate frog, he placed the notebook on top of the box in the middle of the bed. ‘This book comes with a built-in notice-me-not charm. If we all channel our magic into it and then activate the charm, we’ll be the only ones who see it.’

Sirius frowned at James. ‘Are you telling me you’ve had a way to pass notes in class without being seen this whole time and you never said?’

James gaped at him. ‘I never even thought of that.’

‘Idiot,’ Sirius said, cuffing James around the back of the head.

James scowled at him but didn’t argue. ‘Yeah, alright. Get your wands out then.’

They all took out their wands and channelled their magic into the notebook before James activated the charm. He opened the notebook to the first page and wrote “The Marauders” across the top, followed by their names in a list.

‘We need to pick roles,’ James said. ‘I’m the ideas man, and Remus is obviously Chief of Research. Sirius?’

Sirius grinned. ‘I’m the charm.’

‘Why exactly do we need charm?’

‘To charm our way out of detention, of course. Minnie loves me.’

‘Hmm. We’ll come back to you. Peter?’

Peter shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’m not really any good at anything.’

‘You’re great at potions. You’ve stopped me killing myself at least twice,’ Remus said.

‘And we’re all very grateful for that,’ Sirius said, nodding.

‘Chief Potioneer,’ James said, writing it down next to Peter’s name.

‘If Remus and Peter are both Chiefs, then we should be too,’ Sirius said. ‘You can be Chief Imaginator. And I’ll be Chief… Um.’

‘Artist?’ Remus suggested.

‘Excellent idea.’ James wrote both the titles next to their names and turned the page. He wrote Marauders Code along the top of the new page and looked back up.

‘Rules?’

Sirius grinned. ‘All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief.’

James pointed his quill at him. ‘Nice!’

‘All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone,’ Remus said before taking a large bite from his third chocolate frog.

‘Unless we’re getting revenge,’ James said.

‘That’s not mischief,’ Remus said with a shrug. ‘It’s revenge.’

‘Good point.’ James wrote it down.

‘Marauders always keep each other’s secrets,’ Peter said.

‘But are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready,’ Sirius added quickly, making extra sure he wouldn’t look at Remus when he said it by reaching for another chocolate frog.

‘Rule, and amendment, accepted,’ James said.

‘Ooh, Marauders always come before girls,’ Sirius said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘Obviously.’ He wrote it down anyway.

‘A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauder’s aid,’ Peter said.

‘That really goes without saying, doesn’t it?’ James said. ‘But I’ll write it down anyway.’

None of them could think of any other rules, so James put the notebook away, and they spent the rest of the evening stuffing their faces with chocolate and making more plans for Halloween. Remus was given a new research assignment, trying to find the recipe for the animation potion they had used before, and Sirius was delegated the task of drawing the most realistic picture of a bat he could manage.

-o-o-o-o-

They didn’t find time to practise the mass delayed-transfiguration until Saturday. Remus had still been exhausted from the moon on Wednesday and spent the whole afternoon asleep, and it was far too much work to bother starting during a measly hour-long free period. Thursday evening, Remus and Sirius had Art Club, and Friday evening, they had all agreed they were too tired.

Remus sat his students down in a line on the floor and gave them each a bowl he’d borrowed from the kitchen that morning.

‘I want you to find your magical core and channel your magic into the bowl, just like we did with the notebook,’ he said.

He watched as they all placed their wand tips on their bowls and closed their eyes, and he knew it was working when the hairs on his arms stood on end.

‘Good. Now’—he handed each of them a chocolate frog wrapper he had saved for the lesson—‘I want you to turn your wrapper pink.’

They frowned at him but did as they were told.

‘What was the point in that?’ James asked. ‘We’ve been able to do that for weeks.’

‘Because you have to do what you just did at the same time as channelling your magic and speaking the incantations for the delayed transfiguration, the timing charm and my combining spell.’

‘I thought you said it was easy,’ Sirius said.

Remus shrugged. ‘It is. You just have to focus.’

‘I can’t focus on that many things at once. I can barely focus on one thing.’

‘I found it easiest if you start channelling first, before focusing on your target and intent. Once you have your magic flowing, it’s fairly easy to turn your attention to something else while it continues in the background. We can work on adding the incantations when you get the hang of the first part.’

‘Okay,’ Sirius said, still sounding sceptical.

‘So, start channelling your magic. Once it’s flowing into the bowl, create your mental images of the pink wrapper and whatever colour you want to turn it. And if you think you’re ready, say the incantation for the delayed transfiguration. Moratus Mutatio . You’ll need to channel for about twenty seconds to change the wrapper.’

‘Moratus Mutatio,’ they all repeated before beginning the task.

James was the first to open his eyes. He grinned at Remus but didn’t speak, obviously knowing better than to break his friends’ concentration. Peter was next. He looked around and seemed surprised to see Sirius was still trying. Looking at Remus, he raised his eyebrows, jerked his head towards Sirius and raised his fists in the air as if celebrating a victory. It took all of Remus’ self-control not to laugh. Sirius didn’t take much longer, opening his eyes about thirty seconds after Peter and glancing to the others.

‘Dammit, I’m last,’ he said with a huff.

‘It’s not a competition, Sirius,’ Remus said.

‘Everything,’ Sirius said, ‘is a competition.’

Remus rolled his eyes. ‘If you say so. Let’s see if you all managed it, shall we? Drop your wrappers into your bowl.’

They did so and all three of them changed. James’ turned Gryffindor red, Peter’s turned white and Sirius’ turned blue with bright orange spots.

‘No wonder you took longer,’ Remus said. ‘Why did you bother with spots?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘If you’re going to do something, might as well do it properly.’

Remus laughed. ‘Well, I guess if everything’s a competition you won this round. Ten points to Gryffindor.’

‘If only you could hand out points,’ James said.

Remus was finding he quite enjoyed teaching. He got a thrill of excitement when they managed to achieve something under his guidance.

‘What’s next?’ Peter asked.

‘Next, you need to learn the timing charm. I tested it with defodio, but we probably shouldn’t damage anything in here. You all have the hang of Wingardium Leviosa, right?’ They all nodded, so Remus continued, ‘Great, I want you to cast the timing charm on your wrapper followed by wingardium leviosa. After you cast the levitation charm, you’ll need to move your wand in the path you want it to travel. The timing charm is Statuto tempus.’

They all followed his instructions to the letter. Remus was a little surprised that James and Sirius were being so attentive. They never paid that much attention in class. But he supposed this was for fun, so it was far more important than class in their minds.

Sirius and James succeeded on their first attempt. Peter took a few tries, but it was only a couple of minutes before his wrapper was floating around the room with James’ and Sirius’, seemingly of their own accord.

‘We have got to use this for Halloween. We can make the candles do a dance,’ James said.

‘That will take forever to set up,’ Remus said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘So? We can do it over a few nights if necessary.’

‘Alright, we’ll talk about that later. We’re on the last step now. Basically, do exactly what you did before but add the timing charm and my combination spell. The full incantation will be Statuto tempus et magicae simulio moratus mutatio.’

‘Merlin’s ragged and pointy hat, that’s a lot to remember,’ Sirius said. ‘How in Godric’s name did you manage to do all that?’

Remus considered the question. He hadn’t really found it that difficult. But why was that?

‘I think it might be the meditation.’

Sirius frowned. ‘The what?’

‘It’s a muggle thing. My mum bought me a book about it a few months before we started school. It helps me control my temper, but it’s improved my focus too.’

Sirius looked interested. ‘I could use a little help with that too. How does it work?’

‘It’s a lot of breathing and visualising stuff in your mind. I could teach you?’

‘It’s a date,’ Sirius said, winking and making him blush. Again. Goddammit. He really needed to stop reacting like that.

Sirius smirked at him.

They went over the incantation several times until they all had it memorised before they tried it. Remus told them to set their timing charm for eleven o’clock. An hour would be long enough for them to get it done, he thought.

James finished first, again, after thirty minutes of trying, Sirius came second this time, finishing ten minutes after James and beating Peter by a full five minutes. They sat in silence, waiting for him to open his eyes. Sirius kept pulling faces, trying to make them laugh until Remus scowled at him to make him stop.

They dropped their chocolate wrappers into their bowls, and while they waited to see if they had been successful, they returned to the discussion of the dancing candles.

‘It could be dangerous,’ Remus said. ‘If someone got in the way, they could be burnt or even catch fire.’

‘That would be bad. We’d be expelled for sure,’ Peter said.

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ James said. ‘I think we need to add that to your Marauder role. Remus Lupin, Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.’

Remus bowed. ‘I graciously accept.’

‘Excellent, I’ll write it in the book later. So, Maraudering Chief of Research and Safety, how do we do the dancing candles without hurting anyone?’

‘Hmm, some kind of shield charm around the candles? That would stop anyone getting hit by molten wax, too.’

Sirius frowned. ‘That sounds pretty advanced.’

Remus nodded. ‘The basic personal shield charm is a second-year spell, I think. But we wouldn’t need anything that powerful for this. It only needs to stop fire and solid objects, not magic. I’ll have a look next time I’m in the library.’

‘Which will probably be later today, right?’ Sirius asked, laughing.

Remus refused to be embarrassed by his dedication to schoolwork. They wouldn’t be able to understand why it meant so much to him, so he couldn’t blame them for finding his behaviour strange but he wouldn’t hide it.

‘Probably,’ he agreed. ‘I want to look up some things for the cockatrice essay,’

When eleven o’clock came, all three wrappers changed colour. James’ was gold this time, Sirius had gone for purple and Peter’s was black.

‘Well done,’ Remus said. ‘I can’t believe you all got the hang of it so fast.’

Sirius winked at him. ‘You’re just an amazing teacher, Remus.’

‘That might be a part of it,’ Remus said, feeling his face heating up again. He was going to end up permanently red at this rate.

They practised a few more times, trying out more complex transfigurations and working their way up to creating bubbles. They took a break for lunch, and the other Marauders joined Remus in the kitchen, where Remus taught them the theory of turning a gas into a liquid, as they wouldn’t be covering it in class until November. Peter picked it up surprisingly quickly, and Remus wondered if it was the informal setting putting him more at ease. The classroom environment didn’t work for everyone.

By two o’clock, they were all happily transfiguring pockets of air in the room into bubbles of various sizes, and the dormitory was filled with them.

‘I think you’re ready,’ Remus said, with a wide smile.

James fetched the belch powder his dad had sent him, and they settled down to complete the mammoth task. They would need to channel for an hour to be sure there was enough magic in the bowls to work on each grain of powder.

-o-o-o-o-

The following Tuesday, after lunch, Sirius was lounging on his bed in the dorm, chatting with James and Peter while they waited for their spells to activate. They had been practising the timed levitation charm for Halloween, and there were a number of items placed strategically around the room.

‘Only four more days until we find out what’s behind the locked door,’ Sirius said.

James was sitting up on his bed, tossing a balled up pair of socks back and forth across the room with Peter. ‘I know. I can’t wait. What do you reckon it is? I bet it's something awesome.’

‘This is Hogwarts, mate. It could literally be anything.’

They all looked over when the door burst open and an out of breath Remus rushed through it.

‘I’ve found the recipe!’ he said, collapsing on his bed.

James perked up. ‘For the animation potion? No way!’

Remus sat up. ‘Yes. I still don’t see how we can use it, though. We don’t want to ruin the feast by making the tables gallop off again.’

‘Give it to our Chief Potioneer. He’s going to see what he can do with it.’

Remus stood up and took three steps across the room towards Peter when all of a sudden various items around the room rose into the air and converged on him.

‘Oh shit! Remus, duck!’ Sirius cried.

Remus didn’t need telling twice. He dropped to the floor and rolled onto his back to watch as the quills, socks, screwed up balls of parchment, and potions bottles carried out an elaborate dance above his head.

He pointed at one particular item. ‘That quill is out of time with the others.’

Sirius threw his pillow at him. ‘Shut up, it was our first attempt.’

Remus arched his head back to look at him. ‘Really? Well, in that case, it’s very impressive. Well done.’

A couple of minutes later, it was safe for Remus to stand back up, and he handed the recipe he’d copied from the library book to Peter, who looked it over with a frown.

‘This is pretty straightforward,’ he said after a couple of minutes. ‘If I substitute a couple of items and add in a targeting charm at the end, we can make it so it only animates the bats. We’ll need to add one of them to the potion so it knows what to target.’ He looked up from the parchment. ‘It’ll take two full days to brew though.’

‘We’ll have to do it in here over the weekend,’ Sirius said.

‘But what if they do a dorm check and catch us? We’d get in serious trouble for brewing in the dorm,’ Peter said.

‘If one of us stays in the room at all times, we can avoid dorm checks. The house-elves don’t come in if the room’s occupied,’ James said.

Remus looked at him. ‘How do you know that?’

James grinned. ‘My dad told me. He thought it was important information every boy should be aware of.’

Sirius laughed. ‘I kind of love your dad.’

‘Strange. I kind of love him too,’ James said with a chuckle. ‘He would adore you. You should come over in the summer holidays. All of you. We can have a Marauder sleepover or something.’

Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen, Sirius thought. No way his parents were going to let him out of the house that summer.

‘I can practically see you thinking, Sirius. You can’t possibly believe your mother is daft enough to refuse an official invitation from House Potter? That would be social suicide.’

He was right. She’d be furious about it, of course, but she’d have no choice but to let him go. Sirius grinned. ‘It’ll be brilliant!’

‘Yeah, it will! Peter, you in?’ James said.

‘Definitely. I’m sure my mum won’t mind.’

‘Remus?’

Sirius glanced over. Remus was biting his lip. He knew what the problem was; he wouldn’t be able to say yes unless he knew exactly what day it was going to be.

‘I’ll have to ask my mum. But I’d like to come if she lets me.’

Translation: I want to come, but only if it’s not a full moon.

Sirius decided then and there to make sure the get together happened when it wasn’t a full moon so Remus could be there. It wouldn’t be a Marauder sleepover without the original Marauder, after all.

-o-o-o-o-

Two days later, after Potions had ended, Remus waited for the rest of the students to clear out before making his way to the front of the class.

‘Excuse me, Professor. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about the uses of dragon blood in potions?’

Slughorn looked up from the essay he was marking. ‘Of course, my boy. What is it you’d like to know?’

‘Well, I was thinking about its use in healing potions. Could it be mixed with dittany to make its effects stronger?’

Peter had told him to ask that. Apparently dittany and dragon’s blood were an explosive combination.

‘Oh, Merlin, no! That’s a terrible idea. Dragon’s blood is very volatile, and it dislikes dittany immensely. Don’t ever combine them.’

Remus nodded. ‘Understood, sir.’

‘Do you have an interest in potions?’

Remus shrugged. ‘It’s more an interest in healing, really. You may have noticed I’m not particularly adept with a cauldron.’

‘Well, you’ll need at least a little competency with potions to get into the healers’ program at St Mungos. But I may be able to help you with that. I have a few connections in the trainee intake department. Why don’t you come to my party this Saturday, and I’ll see what I can do for you? You’re friends with Black, Potter and Pettigrew aren’t you?’

Remus nodded. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘Invite them along too. It starts at seven pm in the room next door to this one.’

‘I will, sir. Thank you.’

‘Not at all. Have a lovely evening, Mister Lupin.’

‘You too, sir’ Remus said, hurrying from the room and hoping he had kept Slughorn talking for long enough.

James, Sirius and Peter were waiting for him outside and gave him a thumbs up. They had got what they needed for the potion. Excellent.

-o-o-o-o-

The Official Marauders Notebook

The Marauders

James Potter - Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker

Sirius Black - Chief Artist and Charmer of Teachers

Remus Lupin - Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor and Chocolate Eating Genius

Peter Pettigrew - Chief Potioneer and Master of Food Procurement

The Marauders Code

- All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief

- All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone

- Marauders always keep each other’s secrets but are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready

- Marauders always come before girls

- A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauders aid

- The Chief Imaginator is responsible for providing all Marauders with daily chocolate and must give compliments to them once every hour.

6th October

The crossed-out sections were added in permanent ink at some point during the night when all NORMAL people were sleeping, and they do not count. The main suspect is one Sirius Black, who is giggling like a girl. - James Potter Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker.

7th October

Sirius! Stop adding things to the Official Marauder Notebook or I’ll kick you out of the club! - James Potter Chief Imaginator and Lily Evans Stalker.

8th October 1:23 am

James! Never! And I don’t giggle like a girl. My laugh is deep and manly. - Sirius Black Chief Artist and Charmer of Teachers.

Monday 11th October 11:45 am

Chief Imaginator to Chief Researcher, Gods Transfiguration theory is boring, have you had any luck finding that recipe yet?

No, I’m going to look tomorrow afternoon. And it’s not boring; it’s important. Especially if you want to be able to change, oh I don’t know, bubbles into bats? - Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.

You have to sign your messages so we know who it’s from. I did it for you this time. And you make a good point, I will try to pay attention. - Chief Imaginator

You know who it’s from, James. I passed it to you. And you’re not doing a very good job of paying attention. I saw you flicking bits of parchment at Snape. - Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.

They were drawings of his ugly nose. I think he appreciated them. Please sign your name. For me? - Chief Imaginator.

I will if you do your work - Remus

Fine! - Chief Imaginator.

Thursday 14th October, 3:00 pm

Remus, we need you to distract Slughorn after class. Can you talk to him about something? - James.

Sure, how long do you need? - Remus.

Long enough to sneak into his office and grab some ingredients. - James.

Ask him about mixing dragon’s blood and dittany, he’ll be horrified - Peter.

Why, what does it do? - Remus.

Let’s just say they’re an explosive combination - Peter.

Peter, you’re giving me ideas - Sirius.

Sirius, as Marauder Safety Monitor, I forbid you to blow up the school - Remus.

Remus, you spoil all my fun :( - Sirius.

Chapter 20

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #remus x sirius

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