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#well not quite all of these are on NG. but the ones that are are not available in my country 😡
aroaessidhe · 4 months
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some aspec books coming out in 2024. netgalley, I am in your walls
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pepprs · 2 years
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omg. bashing my head into the wall rn
#sorry ive been posting so much i just ummmmmmmmm. horrors. you know. like this is a ridiculousl little spiral to be on given what is#happening in the larger sense.. quite frankly an unhelpful one too. but i would like to salvage the bridge. because if i don’t it will#crumble into the fucking abyss. i would like to salvage the bridge and why are * and * giving me signals that i shouldn’t. LMAO. like you#don’t get a monopoly on * i barely know the * and god damn it this is my last fucking chance. let me have this. i have the tassel pic but i#want the * pic too you know. like let’s go on an adventure. pleaseeee please please please. i need to do this ithink. lol#purrs#this literalt feels like memories of bei ng… like idk the specifics i don’t remember them. but me fucking screaming hysterically and#begging and crying and pulling at moms clothes and her just walking away stonefaced and angry and blistering hot and cold at the same time.#i feel that samw hopelessness and despair and desperation to just do whatever i can to get her back. and i know it won’t work but i want to#anyway and today I feel a little hated for it but it’s probably that we’re all depressed and no one is coping well and no one knows how to s#support each other because we never fucking thought we’d have to deal with this. the LITERAL hell of it all. i hate * for putting us in this#stupid shitty position but i also want to talk to * so fucking bad and try to make it right. i don’t know. i wish i didn’t feel like a#helpless fucking kid here and it’s her fault. like not to pronoun drop but it literally. is all her fault. and i want to forgive her i know#this is fucking hard for her too but i am just so HURT and i hate what this is doing to us. want to smash my head into the wall so bad omggg#me (on the verge of tears): i’ll be around if you want to talk later. redacted: seen 9:40 pm. LMAO 💀💀💀💀💀
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jiminscockr1ng · 1 month
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✩。°𝄞📱HOP ON THE STREAM𝄞°✨。✩
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╝ short story ╔
╰₊ 𓂂➢ pairing: jungkook x black!reader
╰₊ 𓂂➢ genre: streamer!jungkook x black!reader, strangers to friends/friends to lovers, lots of fluff, smut.
╰₊ 𓂂➢ warn!ngs: nothing much; jungkook and reader does banter, reader slaps jungkook (permission granted), unprotected sex, pulling out, slight masochism (no prep), dry humping, etc. [let me know if there’s more]
╰₊ 𓂂➢ summary: you and one of the most watched streamers, jeon jungkook cross paths on a random sunday afternoon. oddly, the two of you become a hot topic over night— landing you in south korea with the spunky streamer for a round two.
╰₊ 𓂂➢ word count: 11,877 words
╰₊ 𓂂➢ author’s note: this took soooo long to write!! i haven’t reread or edited anything so if there are any misspellings or grammatical mistakes, just know i haven’t checked everything over yet. i’m just so happy to be done and i hope you all enjoy it!
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You breathe in the fresh air as you walk one of the various paths of the humongous park. Randomly deciding that you needed to get out of your crammed apartment, you’ve made your way to central park. The sun shined lucently on your melanin skin— looking as if god himself came down to give you a huge kiss on your forehead.
You wear a white puffer vest over your black nike hoodie. The khaki colored cargo pants clings perfectly to your legs. Enhancing your curves just right and in all the right places.
Strutting down the path in your clean white air forces. You flip your butt-length knotless braids behind you to adjust your headphones, furrowing your brows though.
‘What the fuck is that?’, you think.
This obnoxious voice— it’s not even so much the voice, it’s the yelling. So enthusiastic and high pitched, nearly sounding strained.
“Yoooo! This shit is lit as hell, I can’t lie! If anyone in New York right now— dm me, for real. What? Chat stop hatin’, yall act like y’all ain’t ever seen rats before.”
You can hear the voice growing closer despite the Sza song that is blasting in your ears. Nothing pisses you off more than hearing someone’s voice through your headphones. It simply shouldn’t be possible— you have good fucking headphone! Expensive as shit!
You decide to ignore it until you see a figure walking beside you in your peripheral view. You look to see what or who it could be and it’s a man. Young man. Fairly long black hair— hanging fluffy over his undercut, cute nose, bright doe eyes, eyebrow piercing, two silver lip rings accessorizing his thin pink lips.
Hot as hell, if you do say so yourself. And the man seems to be… talking to you. Pausing the song that blasts into your ears to hear him, your feet halts to respond.
“What?” You curiously ask. The taller man seems to find your response quite hilarious. Laughing, his smile catches your eye. He has a really nice smile. But that’s not exactly the point right now.
“I said, are you taking applications?” He repeats. If you thought you were confused before, you might as well be underneath a google search for oblivion. Because what is he talking about. “I’m sorry, applications? I’m not sure I’m understanding you correctly.” You stammer on your words and then your eyes widen when the man takes a step closer to you. Not too close, but just enough to get a whiff of his cozy-like scent. His demeanor— the look in his eyes is seductive. It intrigues you but also at the same time makes you want to run for your life.
“Application for free feet massages.” He says with this low voice as if he’s spitting the most legendary game at you. He absolutely is not. Evident on your face as you scrunch it up in disgust.
Before you can even curse him out he bursts into a fit of laughter. That’s when you notice the huge light extension connected on the top of his phone. Then the buff man standing close behind him, holding the biggest camera you’ve ever seen. You should’ve known.
“I’m fucking with you,” he says. “I’m streaming right now—” He turns to point at the camera. “Chat told me to come talk to you.” You awkwardly nod, knowing that you’re being recorded right now. “I can see that.”
“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You simply nod your head, continuing your way down the path. You’ve always seen different youtube videos of youtubers or different streamers approaching people on the streets. You’ve never really imagined someone approaching you like that. It’s entertaining to watch— you agree, but admittedly it’s quite awkward being caught off guard.
Still, you can hear the man talking behind you. Assumably to the ‘chat’.
“Chill yall. I’m not gonna do that.” He tries to speak lowly, replying to the people who wish him to approach you again. “I’m gonna look like a fucking freak.” He cards his hand through his hair. It did not help that he wasted his moment to shoot his shot, too busy trolling. To be fair he panicked once he got a better look at you. You’re stunning. He knew he fumbled once you started talking to him. The chat was simply telling him to recover the trophy. The trophy being you.
“Hey,” you hear the familiar voice again. Fighting to not roll your eyes. He jogs toward you and you stop walking once again. This time, you’re a bit frustrated. You snatch your headphones off of your head. “If you’re gonna stand here and ask me some dumb shit again—”
“No, no that was my fault.” He raises his hands in defense. “I really wanted to ask for your social. You’re really pretty, just wanted to talk to you.” He calmly says, in contrast to the obnoxious high energy voice he used previously. You’re not buying it though. This has to be another prank.
“Listen, I don’t know what prank you’re pulling for your stream but I just wanna be on my way.” You can see the panic behind his eyes as you speak. He doesn’t make it too apparent but it’s there. He can’t fumble— he won’t fumble!
“I promise I’m not pulling any prank on you. Look!” He extends his hand to show you his phone. It seems to be some sort of monitoring set up for his stream and in the corner is the live chat box. You read as the thousands of comments that quickly scrolls by. Comments saying, “not a prank”, “L rizz”, “she bad as hell”, “he don’t know what to do with allat”. You decide that you’ve seen enough.
Enough to know he’s being honest. For the most part… you guess.
“Okay.” You shrug in defeat, not really knowing where to go from here. “If you’re not cool with sharing your social can I at least get you something to eat?” He asks and struggle to not show your immediate interest. You’re hungry as hell and free food is the best. Especially when a greek god is offering to pay for it. So of course the answer is yes. But you don’t forget to play a little hard to get. Guys love the chase.
“Mm, I don’t know.” You try to sound highly unsure. His eyes are practically pleading with you to say yes. Probably so you won’t embarrass him in front of his viewers. “You’re not gonna kidnap me, right?”
At that moment, he smiles again. A smile of relief. “Naw, forgot to bring my van with me— you’re good.”
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The two of you— plus the unreasonably large cameraman walk a good amount of distance to reach the nearest taco bar. Reckoning that walking would be safer after the little van joke, you both talked the whole walk there.
Learning that his name is Jungkook, born in Korea, studied in New York at a young age before moving back to Korea. He fell into the streaming lifestyle after gaming for a few years. It seems that a lot of his viewers are active in the US. And ironically, this is his first time being in New York since he moved back to Korea. This also just so happens to be his last day here, catching a flight back home tonight.
It being just a weird little coincidence that the two of you met. Once seated at the restaurant’s table you can Jungkook continue getting to know one another. The fact that the camera is still recording the conversation is completely disregarded by you and Jungkook.
“Tell me more about yourself, though. Like what do you do— other than take random walks at central park?” He asks, completely invested in your life. You let out a nervous laugh as you try to put your situation into words.
“Umm, well at the moment I’m going to school and working.” You say but Jungkook wants to know more. Not just the surface level stuff. “Okay, going to school for what?” He asks curiously, his doe eyes wide and peering deeply into yours. You have to break eye contact, afraid of getting lost into the dark irises.
“Cosmetology— trade school. I do that part-time and work full-time.” Jungkook’s eyebrows raise at your presumably active schedule, whispering a “wow”. You nod your head. “It’s a lot but I have a lot of plans and I already feel that I’m behind so… stress now and it’ll pay off later.” You shrug nonchalantly before taking a sip of your strawberry lemonade the waitress had just brought to your table.
“What plans, exactly?” You furrow you eyebrows, a little smile forming on your face. “You sure do have a lot of questions.”
“Guilty,” he returns the smile. “But really, I’m interested. Here I am thinking you’re the lucky one. I’m not sure how the hell I caught you on an off day.” He says and you can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy in the inside. Jungkook is an amazing listener and you have yet to really elaborate on your future plans to anyone else— fearing to feel like a bother or hear any discouraging comments. You find yourself growing a bit excited to talk about your dreams. The dreams you work hard to achieve everyday.
“I want to open my own salon.” There goes that breathtaking smile again. “That’s incredible, really!?” You nod your head slightly, an odd feeling of shyness washes over you. “Yeah um, I spent two years in college after high school majoring in business. I knew from a young age that working for someone else wasn’t a feeling I enjoyed. However, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.” Jungkook rests his chin on his palm, willing to listen to you talk all day.
“After I received my associates degree, someone recommended me to try out cosmetology school. I was doing hair already— only friends and family. So I ended up going and I actually really enjoy it. So,” You scratch your arm to try to distract the mean and discouraging voices in your head telling you to not say anything about your plan in case things fall through. Jungkook nods his head for you to continue, anticipating to hear more about your story.
“So I— uh began planning. Like opening my own salon and stuff. Saving my money up. Tapping into other things like nails and makeup, stuff like that.” You say rather awkwardly and unconfident. Jungkook can’t help but notice. “Don’t try to water it down. It’s your plans— your dreams. Stand proud on that shit.” He says making you giggle. Encouraging nonetheless; despite the uproarious way he put it.
“Okay okay,” you sigh. “I want to open a huge salon. Where people can come and get their hair done, nails, makeup, a spa, masseuses— all that. The ultimate feel good, self care spot. With a beauty supply store inside of the salon.” You continue adding on, listing off all of your ideas on your freshly manicured fingers and Jungkook smile grows as you do. His energy easily rubs off on you.
“Yo, that’s lit as fuck! So I can go get my hair done and then go buy products at the same place?!” He indulges into your plans and you nod, laughing at his candid excitement. “Or better yet, after I get my hair done— I can go and get a massage.” You hold your hands over your face to hide the overwhelming feeling of happiness. Somehow, the guy has figured out how to make you feel absolutely on top of the world.
To your surprise, you’re actually enjoying his unexpected company. More than enjoying it, you can practically drown yourself in the amount of entertainment you’re receiving. You seriously haven’t had this much fun in your spare time in so long.
All of your friends are introverted homebodies. As an ambivert, your mood is based solely on your companys’. And Jungkook is a natural extroverted, outgoing individual. You can’t help feeling high energy when around him. You gracefully indulge in his presence. Him and the nachos that you’re aggressively shoving down your throat.
“Damn little lady, you sure know how—”
“Don’t even finish that fucking quote.” You playfully glare at him across the table, your words muttered together due to the food stuffed inside your jaws. Obediently, he shuts the fuck up. “This is actually really good. I need to come here more often.” You comment once you finish chewing. Jungkook perks up.
“Lemme try some!” He says, all too excited. “My nachos?” He nods his head and you hum in agreement. When picking up a nacho— making sure to get the necessary ingredients on top of it, you extend your arm for Jungkook to grab it.
Instead, he opens his mouth wide, indicating the want of you to put it in his mouth. You nearly flinched. “I am not hand feeding you these fucking nachos, Jungkook.” You state and he pouts. It’s the cutest thing ever but you’re being recorded so you must focus!
“Why?” Still pouting, his eyebrows creased.
“Because…” You turn your head to look at the camera that stood up on the table right beside yours and Jungkook’s. His camera man sitting at the same table, chowing down on his burrito. That seems to be a clear answer for Jungkook.
“Don’t worry about the camera— it doesn’t matter.” He fans his hand, insisting for you to feed him your nachos. You look down at his phone—
“They’re saying you’re a munch.” His pout falls in to a stank face as he snatches his phone off of the table to look at the chat. He scoffs. “Y’all are literally D1 haters!” He continues arguing with the chat as you let out little giggles at some of the comments that were made.
“Fuck them, can you just feed me the nacho.” He says in defeat. A mischievous smile rests on your face. “Say please.” You demand and Jungkook rolls his eyes but of course, obedient as always. “Please!” He sings, you couldn’t help but laugh. Nodding your head you feed him the nachos and he moans in satisfaction. That did a little something to your insides.
A smudge of sour cream is left on the corner of his lip, his tongue failing to lick it off. Mindlessly, you reach to wipe it off with your finger. Jungkook’s eyes widen a bit at the action and his cheeks turns a faint pink. Again, you laugh. Something you seem to be doing a lot of. “Awe, are you blushing?” You tease and his expression immediately goes nonchalant. “No, it was just unexpected.” You couldn’t help it though. You have the upper hand. “Poor Kookie can’t handle the rizzler.” You joke and he laughs. Revealing that toothy smile you adore.
“You’re not funny.”
“I really am though. I’m gonna take over your whole career one day. They call me the career snatcher.” You joke, putting on a feigned smug smile. Only to continue seeing that smile and hear the sound of his quite crazy high pitched laughter a little longer.
“Absolutely no one calls you that.” He says in between laughter.
“Wanna bet?” He shakes his head before pulling out his wallet, grabbing some cash to pay for the bill. “Nope, I wanna go somewhere fun.”
You watch as he tips the waitress, handing her a hefty 50 bucks. The waitress smiles brightly before thanking him and takes hold of your empty plates. His focus turns back to you and he drums his hands on the table. “Be my tour guide.” He says, wanting to spend more time with you. You find his lame excuse of asking you out again funny.
“You’re not a tourist.” He shrugs. “You literally lived her for like 7 years.” You add, flipping your braids over your shoulder. “5 years, actually. And that doesn’t matter.” He corrects.
You roll your eyes figuring that he’s too stubborn to come out and say he wants to continue hanging out with you. Fortunately for him, you’re not sure you want to leave him just yet either. “What do you want to do?” You question and his face lights up. Truly, like a kid whose parent said they can eat ice cream.
“Is there an arcade around here?”
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Unlike last time, you allow yourself to catch a ride with Jungkook and his cameraman, Benny. You’re sure that Jungkook won’t kidnap you and Benny actually seems to be a big softly despite his tough apearance.
Once the three of you enter the famous arcade you’re swamped by nearly a dozen kids. All seeming to be die hard fans of the tall muscled man next to you. His smile as he talks to the kids is so lovable you can’t help but to smile yourself as he interacts with them. Giving out hugs and autographs and pictures.
The kids don’t hesitate to follow you and Jungkook around the arcade. You couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. Not even fully adjusting to the fact that you’re being recorded and people can see everything you do and say in real time, now there are dozens of people— kids, teenagers, a few adults tagging along.
Jungkook seems to have noticed your change of behavior. He grabs your hand, dragging you along with him. “Let’s play a game, c’mon!” He shouts and your heart drops as you feel his hand in yours. The two of you approach a shooting game. Jurassic Park. You’ve played the game multiple times before and you’re actually pretty good at it.
“This one.” He says, sounding out of breath. You nod as you grab a scrunchie out of your pocket. Jungkook is so hyped he doesn’t even notice the action. Boasting himself up to the crowd that surrounds the gaming booth. “You sure you can keep up, _______? You know I’m a gamer, right?” He brags on and you put your braids in a ponytail behind you. “Jungkook is trash!”Someone amongst the crowd screams and you don’t even try to hide your laughter.
“What is the beef?! Y’all hate on me on and offline.” He turns to look at you. “Watch, I’m about to destroy you,” he says competitively. You’re not sure if he knows that this is a team game. You two will not be competing against each other, rather against the dinosaurs that are trying to stomp on you.
The crowds’ laughter tells you that they are aware as well. You shrug your shoulders at them and they tell you not to say anything.
You two settle inside of the booth and you try to not think about the way his thighs rests next to yours. As the game starts up you take off your coat and Jungkook swipes the card.
The countdown starts and you both raise your guns. The cut scene starts and almost immediately the dinosaurs start running to attack you. You began shooting the targets and notice that Jungkook’s shooting is off.
“What— where is your dinosaur?!” You couldn’t help but laugh. Shooting the dinosaurs that attempt to attack you and even handling Jungkook’s load of work. You hear some people watching gasping and hyping you up which frustrates Jungkook.
“What am I supposed to do?!” He screams and on queue Jungkook dies leaving you in the game alone. You join in with the laughter surrounding the booth and Jungkook sinks into his seat as he watches you shoot all of the dinosaurs.
Eventually you win and turn your focus on Jungkook, who glares at you. You chuckle before mockingly tapping his cheek, grabbing your jacket to get up out of the booth. A few people approach you to give you high-fives and when Jungkook exits everyone makes sure to boo him. If it wasn’t for the way you’re cutely smiling back he would’ve definitely continued his trash talk. Instead, he reluctantly follows you to the next game.
The two of you end up playing almost every single game in the arcade, some fans even come to play alongside you guys.
You and Jungkook are currently picking a song on the dancing machine arcade game. Jungkook is really excited about this game— his competitiveness taking over. “Why do you keep trying to beat me, Kook?” You ask as he carefully scrolls through the song selections, that seemingly are all K-pop songs. “Because you keep winning! So until I win, I won’t stop trying to beat you.” You burst into a fit of laughter at his childish protest before putting on a feigned pout.
“Awe, he’s passionate.” You slowly rub his back and you can feel his muscles tense underneath your touch. “Stop… you’re distracting me.” He mumbles, the words only fall onto your ears. You simply giggle finding it cute that you some sort of affect on him. “Just pick a song, it’s really not that serious.”
He groans before picking the next song: Regular by NCT127. You both get into position and the people surround you both, cheering for you. You turn to see Jungkook’s little frown on top of his focused face. You don’t know whether to feel bad or swoon over how cute he looks right now.
The two of you start dancing and you come to a conclusion. Jungkook must’ve put this shit on hard mode.
You can barely keep up, nearly tripping over your feet as you try to predict the next dance move. Jungkook seems to be having a hard time as well.
When he notices you getting the hang of it he lets out a loud “no”. You scoff before quickly glancing at him. “What is this your villain origin story— get it together Kook.” He absolutely could not get it together. The big ass shoes he’s sporting didn’t help much either. So he resorted to sabotage.
You feel a light shove to your shoulder, knocking you off of the machine. Jungkook laughs when he sees your face. But when you run back on the machine it quickly drops. You hook your foot around his making him fall onto the ground.
Roars of laughter surrounds the two of you as you tussle while attempting to do the dance steps. Jungkook manages to pick you up off of the ground while dancing. You can’t even fight it, your body so weak from laughter. When the song ends he put you down and you slap his shoulder. “You cheated!” Jungkook only laughs at you before the score drops on the screen.
“I won! I fucking won— look at you!” He points and laugh at you and you just watch him, completely worn out. “You happy now?” You say, grabbing your puffer vest, slipping it back over your hoodie. He happily nods.
“I should get going. I have work in the morning.” You purse your lips, feeling disappointed to even say the words. You can tell Jungkook is as well by the way he hesitatingly nods his head and calls for Benny.
“We’ll drop you off at your place.”
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Benny pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex and you make sure you have everything before leaving the car. Jungkook places a hand on your arm and asks for you to say something to the chat before you leave.
“Okay right,” you say to the camera. “This was a fun little surprise. Jungkook’s really cool even though he can’t play games for shit.” He softly nudges your shoulder while innocently looking out the window making you giggle. “It was really fun meeting some of you today. Keep supporting Jungkook, he’s a really nice person and is just really… authentically him.” Jungkook turns to look at you and he believes that he could throw up from the way the butterflies in his stomach are moving. Looking at your pretty brown eyes, your smooth brown skin and those plumped lips that are just so tempting he could—
“Okay, I’m leaving now. Bye!” You wave your hands at the camera before awkwardly leaving the car. Jungkook sits there in panic as he watches you approach the door. It’s not supposed to end like that, right?
He hurriedly hops out of the car, jogging up behind you. Similar the way he did when he first saw you at the park. You turn your head at the sound of footsteps behind you, surprised to see Jungkook. “What are you—”
“I’m walking you to the door.” He says, trying to act nonchalant as if he didn’t just sprint out the car after you. “I can walk to the door myself. You know, because I’ve been living here for 3 years now.” You speak sarcastically and Jungkook sighs. “I’m just trying to be a gentleman.” You roll your eyes at yet another one of his lame excuses but decide to not say anything more.
Within seconds you meet the door and Jungkook mentally curses at the fact that it wasn’t some long path to get there.
Staring up at the tall raven haired man you wish that he would have just stayed in the car. Because now it’s going to be a lot harder to say goodbye. Because you know that you’re never going to see him again.
“Ahm—” you choke as you begin to speak. “I don’t know what to say.” Awkwardly rocking on the heels of your shoes. He lets out a chuckle, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah um, same.” You look back at the car and see that you two are in fact not being recorded. “I had a really nice time with you today— it was fun.” Jungkook says and you nod. The awkward tension between the two of you makes you want to run inside the building and don’t look back.
“You sure you’re not just saying that?” You reply, teasing him one last time. He scoffs. “Wow, even with no cameras you still don’t believe me.”
“Hard to believe someone who jokingly gives out free foot massages” The both of you share a laugh. Jungkook opens his arms wide, indicating his want for a hug. You more than willingly comply, immersing yourself into his warmth. His arms wrap around your body as yours do his. You don’t want to move. You don’t want him to leave. For some reason, the mere 5 hours spent with him feels like 5 months and you don’t know how to say goodbye.
His chin gently rests on top of your head as he gets a whiff of your coconuty aroma. “You have my number, _______. Don’t be scared to use it.” He mutters atop your head and you nod into his chest. “You have mine too.” You add before reluctantly pulling away.
“I’m gonna go inside now. Text me before you board your flight.” Your voice is low and gloomy, matching Jungkook’s face. You make your way through the door, sending him one more wave before heading up the stairs.
That night you went to sleep in a horrible mood. The weird feeling of missing someone you just met consuming you. You even called off of work just to get one more day to relax.
Never in a million years would you have thought that by the time you wake up tomorrow, you’d be the hot topic all over social media.
Notifications rapidly blare from your phone, waking you up— something your alarm failed to do. You squint your eyes as the bright light of your phone nearly blinds you. You gasp as you check the time, realizing that you’ve slept like a baby for more than half of the day. But blind is what you think you are once you see all of the notifications.
Millions of followers on your social media accounts. Tiktok, Instagram, Twitter— all of it. Completely flooded with likes, follows and comments and dm’s. You go on Youtube to see you and Jungkook all over your feed.
What surprises you the most is the text messages from Jungkook. You didn’t expect him to actually text you after yesterday, assuming that he was just being kind by giving you his phone number. But when you open your message app, you see a thread of messages from him.
jungkook: jus got on the plane. hope ure sleeping well ❤️ 9:47pm
jungkook: is it like weird that i kind of missed u? 9:50pm
jungkook: i asked benny but u know he’s like kinda old and stuff. 9:50pm
jungkook: do feel like that too? like do u miss me? 9:51pm
jungkook: nvm don’t answer that shit 😭 9:51pm
jungkook: jus get sum rest. 9:52pm
jungkook: omggg i jus landed in taipei and ure like famous!!! wake upppp!!! 1:32pm
You should’ve braced yourself for the roller coaster you just went through reading his text messages. Nonetheless, you text him back.
you: are you sniffing crack or something? calm down 😧 1:52pm
jungkook: why r u jus waking up 🤨 1:54pm
you: i called off and overslept. it was rough last night. 1:54pm
jungkook: have u checked any of ur socials?? 1:55pm
jungkook: the stream is like literally EVERYWHERE! 1:55pm
you: yeah i’m looking now. this is actually crazy— i knew you were popular but fuck! my notifications are flooded 😭😭😭 1:58pm
jungkook: sorry about that ☹️ 1:59pm
jungkook: but hey this is all u. i bring ppl on my stream all the time nd this never happens. they jus rlly fuck with u 🤷🏻‍♂️ 2:00pm
you: i guess… 2:01pm
you: i don’t know what to do now. like what am i supposed to do? 2:01pm
jungkook: nothin u don’t wanna do. don’t stress over it 2:01pm
jungkook: jus be u 2:01pm
you: thanks kook. 2:02pm
jungkook: no problem 😉 2:02pm
you: by the way, i did miss you too. 2:05pm
you: a lot actually, it’s weird. 2:06pm
jungkook: benny says it’s normal 2:07pm
you: lmao benny’s probably right 😅 2:07pm
jungkook: my flight is gonna take off soon. i’ll text you when i get home. ❤️ 2:08pm
you: 💕 2:08pm
It’s been two long months since Jungkook left. Needless to say, you haven’t taken your mind off of the tall dreamy man since he’s popped up in your life. Partially because the two of you have been texting each other nonstop.
Despite both of your busy schedules, you always find ways to keep in touch. Texting each other constantly, facetiming when you’re both free, occasionally going live together on instagram. And the people loved it. You assumed that after a while the buzz would dwindle but the people are dying for more content.
The attention did more good than harm. You received a lot of attention from the hair you did and people have even dm’ed you to do their hair. It’s really incredible that a mere five hours has changed your life. Your family and friends are so happy for you, begging to meet the one and only Jungkook. The Jungkook who you have grown so close to over the past two months.
Everyday you feel like you’re living a dream. Never forgetting to tell Jungkook how grateful you are to him. To which he always responds with “you deserve it”.
You sit on your coach as you watch your phone in anticipation. Waiting for the ringing to stop and hear—
“Did it come?!” He says over the phone. You put on a performative show, sighing and pouting your lips. Completely disappointed. Jungkook’s enthusiastic smile falls and just as it does you whip out the thick paper, shoving it the camera.
“It cameee!” You shout and Jungkook’s face lights up. He jumps up and down in pure excitement. “Oh my god! Let me see, let me see— hold it still!”
“Geez, I’m trying my best.” He intently observed the cosmetology license that you were awarded. “I’m so proud of you, _______” He sincerely speaks and you feel your chest tighten. Jungkook recently has had that kind of effect on you. You shyly smile, lowering the certificate and putting it on your kitchen counter.
“How does it feel to be a licensed cosmetologist, ma’am?” He lowers his voice, mockingly speaking while holding his hand out like a reporter. You laugh before speaking. “It feels amazing! I would like to thank my 4 kids at home for being my inspiration, Miss Sally at the Sisters Hospital, my loving family and my dear husband who’s always stuck by my side.” You feed into the act. Something that is normal and just makes sense with you and Jungkook.
Jungkook dramatically gasps. “Husband! I didn’t read any of that before this interview. Too bad, I had set up a whole proposal for you. This was a gig! Now my heart is broken.” He holds his hand over his chest, faking a heartbreak. You pout.
“Awe, I’m so sorry. But you happen to be too late Mr. Jeon. My love for you has died many many years ago. You must move on!” Using your poor british accent makes Jungkook break character. “Your accent is horrible. Never do that shit again.” Your face falls.
“Suck cock and die.” You say and Jungkook laughs. “You’re such a whore, i’ll do all of that later. But is that it?” You furrow your eyes brows as you stand your up phone against your purse on the counter, turning around to reach in the fridge to grab the carton of strawberry lemonade. “Is what it?” You ask but Jungkook is too focused on your ass to respond. You swiftly turn back around catching him looking.
“Eyes up here, cowboy!” You shout, snapping your fingers at the camera. He raises his hands as if surrendering. “My bad. You know, men.” He shrugs, one hundred percent unashamed.
“Yeah, yeah. What were you talking about?” He falls open as he tries to remember what he was talking about before he fell into a trance. “Oh yeah!” You raise a brow.
“Was that all you got in the mail?” He asks and you furrow your brows. Confused on why he would be asking that because no one really cares about mail. “No, I got other stuff but that was the first thing I saw and then I immediately called you.” He nods quietly before carding a hand through his raven hair. It was styled much different from the first time you saw him. Perfectly layered, shaping his face with very precise curls at the ends, the back falling into a mullet. He looks amazing.
“Hello?!” He screams through the phone. You hum in shock, not realizing that you were staring at him. “I said check your mail.” You furrow your eyebrows once again. “Why do you want me to check my mail so badly?” He groans, pulling the phone close to his face. “Just check the fucking mail.”
You roll your eyes before walking over to your mail. “Don’t get shot, JK!” You scream at him from across the room and you hear a faint giggle from him coming from your phone. You walk back over to the counter, setting down a couple of packages and a few envelopes.
He makes you go through all of it in front of him. You were beginning to grow frustrated at his lack of communication and context. Not understanding why he suddenly took interest in your mail. You finally make it to one of the packages and you freeze when you read the box.
From your best friend, to you. — JK
You gasp before looking back at the man on your phone screen. The goofy smile on his face makes you wish you can jump through the screen and lather him down with hugs and kisses.
“You fart! What did you send me?!” You scream out and Jungkook tries to maintain a poker face. “Open the box.” You can’t control the huge smile on your face as you take your keys to eagerly tear the box apart.
Inside is a camera with a note on it The same camera Jungkook uses for filming. “You’re gonna need this for what’s at the bottom.” You read the note aloud. Your heart is racing so fast at the well thought out gift and you aren’t even halfway through. Underneath the camera is a shirt that reads, “I love Jungkook.”
You glare at the man through the screen and he laughs. “Awe, you do? You really mean it?” He can’t even keep a straight face, dying laughing at how unserious he is. “I’m not wearing this.” You lie. You would wear this everyday if you could remember to wash it.
“Whatever, just keep going.” You roll your eyes before diving back into the box. Underneath that is envelope. You pick up the envelope at the bottom of the box and open it. There’s a card inside and what seems to be a well written letter inside. You look at the camera. “Can I read this out loud?” Jungkook closes his eyes as he nods and you begin reading.
“Dear _______, from the very first day I met you there wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you. Our friendship is something I hold dearly to my heart and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Usually around this time of the year I’d be depressed or stressed out in my room wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life. But you’ve kept my mind busy. Always making sure to encourage and support me when I can’t do the same for myself. You make me happy and I always try to do the same for you although I am conscience that I may fall short in that category at times. My intentions are always good.
You always thank me— saying things like, ‘I changed your life’ and that you have better going opportunities for yourself because of me. Because of that day. I always tell you that you deserve it and I truly mean it. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way. But what I really need to tell you is how you changed my life. Life is not what it appears to be through the screen and behind the scenes I was really struggling. You inspired me to keep pushing forward and made me realize that my goals are possible. You do that a lot. Inspire others. Whether you notice it or not or believe it. I don’t know what kind of mindset I’d have right now if it wasn’t for meeting you that day— so thank you. Now for the real surprise! A surprise I’ve been dying to get to you and I know I’m going to be going crazy until I know you’ve received this. I miss you so much and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you do as well. Let’s change that…”
You hiccup as you finish reading the letter. Tears streaming down your brown cheeks that carries a reddened undertone. Jungkook laughs horrendously at you as you cry from the words Jungkook poured out into your letter. “I totally did not expect you to cry.” He says in between laughter, holding onto his stomach for dear life.
“I didn’t even know you could read, let alone write.” You say, joining in with the laughter as you wipe away your tears. Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Don’t make me take it all back.” He says and you shake your head. You’d never forget a word that was written in this letter. Impossible. “What do you mean let’s change that? I hope you don’t mean this phone call, this was absolute hell Jungkook.” He laughs, fluffing his hair out. “No, you devil. Flip the page.” He says and you raise your brows. You weren’t even aware that there was a second page. But when you do. You nearly throw the card because of what taped to it.
“What the fuck!” You scream and Jungkook even flinches. Covering your face as more tears fall down your eyes. Jungkook awkwardly look at you not really knowing if that was a good reaction or not.
“D— do you like it or…?” He trails off. You drop your hands from your face to check and see if he’s being for real.
“Are you kidding me?! You got me a ticket to fucking South Korea— what do you mean, ‘do you like it?’ I fucking love it!” He smiles and leave to get a tissue to blow your running nose. When you come back you find him sitting in his gaming chair.
“Thank you,” you mutter. Your voice is coarse from all of the crying and screaming. Jungkook smiles at you once he notices your back. Even after crying he still thinks you’re absolutely stunning. He can’t wait for you to be by his side in person.
“Thank me by packing a bag.”
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You fan yourself at full tilt, sweat forming on your forehead, ruining your perfectly laid edges. The black baseball cap and mask that covered half of your face seems to be collecting heat for later. You roll your heavy blue luggage behind you as you exit the Incheon International Airport.
As you exit, the bright sun beams over you. Immediately, you remove the cap and mask, stuffing it inside the side poket of your purse. You look around the busy streets trying to find the familiar man. Within seconds you see him. That tall, raven haired, bubble nosed, doe eyed, breathtaking man. Who’s currently running across the street, arms up in the air, smiling from ear to ear like a lunatic.
You can’t even get your insult out before he nearly knocks the wind out of you, engulfing you into a big hug. You stumble over your feet but Jungkook makes sure to keep you upright. He picks you up in his big, strong arms, spinning you around out of pure excitement. “_______, are you real?” You laugh at him, smacking his arms to let you down.
“You ask me am I real after picking me up? That’s usually how people get the cops called on them.” You joke and he glares at you. “Yeah, you’re real.” He says, dissembling a disappointed tone before walking away and you slap his back, following him to his car.
The drive to his house from the airport is short of two hours. The two of you catch up on lost time, talking about everything and nothing all at once. Jungkook has the whole weekend planned out for the two of you. Lots of sightseeing and lots of streaming. You couldn’t help but be excited because knowing Jungkook and his energy, it’s bound to be a crazy productive time.
“Can you just tell me at least one thing? It’s just one thing— I’m sure you have tons of shit planned for today.” You whine and Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“I told you that we’d be streaming.”
“We were gonna do that regardless of the plans!” Jungkook looks at you once he’s made a stop at the red light. He forgets what he was going to say when he looks at how sunkissed your face is. The sun seems to be doing wonders today. Jungkook always found himself stuck on your ethereal beauty. He can’t even put in words how hypnotic you are. One glance at you made him feel like he’s somewhere over the moon, Jungkook sometimes have to remind himself that he shouldn’t feel this way. Not towards a friend. But fuck— look at the way the your skin is basking in the sunlight! He just want to take a bite out of you and—
“Would stop staring at me and drive please? The light is green.” Your brows furrow at the man who seems to be in a trance while staring at your face. Not the first time and you doubt it’ll be the last. Jungkook reluctantly eyes the road again, stepping on the gas.
“Wow, you pick random people off of the ground and have a staring problem. Do you do that with everyone or just me?” There’s a pause. The silence is loud. Only the sound of the music floods the car.
“You wanna get something to eat real quick?” He changes the subject. You let out a little snicker before saying that you aren’t hungry. The silence in the car maintains and easily shifts into a comfortable silence. You take the opportunity to observe his side profile.
Noticing so many things that you hadn’t during those few hours two months ago. Things that the facetime call hadn’t even picked up. Mindlessly, you run a hand through his hair. Playing in his soft, raven, layered curls. Collecting his hair in your grip, you hold it on the top of his hair, creating a messy ponytail. You notice the tan line on his neck.
“You have a tan?!” You shout, making the man flinch at the sudden volume change. “Yes… did you have to scream?” He glances at you briefly, eyes widened, before adverting his eyes back on the road ahead. Dropping your grip from his hair you take a moment to observe his freshly tanned skin.
“I just notice,” you hum.
“You look good.” You add, nonchalantly and you see him trying to hide the goofy smile forming on his face. You laugh. “What?! You do.” You insist and he nods his head with a downturned smile. You find it real ironic that he’s flustered after constantly being so cocky over the phone with you.
“Whatever.” He speaks lowly, scratching his eyebrow. Smiling up at him, you look at him in awe. “You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re not being all cocky.” You tilt your head to the side, purposely teasing the man. Stopping at yet another red light, he takes the time to smirk at you.
“If you want to suck my dick, just say that.” Your smile drops, face scrunching up in disgust.
“You make me sick.”
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“Welcome!” Jungkook dramatically says, arms wide open, doing his awful impersonation of Cory Kenshin. You raise your brow as your friend continues to dance his way through the apartment, completely unimpressed.
You kick off your shoes at the entryway before stepping inside of the luxurious apartment. Jungkook does a little twirl in his black socks before ending it with a star pose. You can’t help but laugh at the obnoxious performance, shaking your head as he breathes heavily in his pose. “Esta es mi casa!” Your eyebrows furrow before sighing in defeat, walking past the man as you make your way the large island in the kitchen.
“I see your Spanish sucks just bad as your performance.” He sends you a glare before walking over to you. “Good thing I’m not here for either of those things.” You say before clapping your hands together. So,” Jungkook raises a brow as your eyes shift left to right. “Where’s your room?”
The notorious smirk returns and fluffs his hair. “Damn, you just got here and you already trying to get me in bed.” He says smugly, stepping closer to you as he looks you up and down. You would try to act all disgusted like you usually dissemble but the way he’s towering over you is making you a bit weak in the knees.
You stagger your way past him before he could come any closer. For some reason, when you two planned for you to stay in this tall, wealthy, tatted up, gym rat’s home for the weekend there was never any thoughts that this might be a problem. But now that you’re here, in an apartment alone with him. You can’t help but realize that this might be a problem.
Shaking the thought, you focus on the current problem: you can’t find his room. You enter the random door down a random hall and it leads you to the gym set up he has. Curiously, you observe the room, looking at the excessive amounts of weights and machinery.
“Found my room yet?” You jump at the sudden voice, turning around just to get towered over by the man once again. “Can you stop doing that.” You frustratedly say.
“Stop doing what?”
“Standing over me!” Your brows crease together as you look up at him. His hair hangs over his forehead as his dark eyes bore into yours. “Can’t help it if you’re short.” He battles and you scoff at the comment. “I’m not even that much shorter than you, you’re just doing it on purpose— move!” You attempt to push him away from you but he doesn’t budge. Not even a little step back. Not even an inch. Your hands placed on his chest— more so on his pecks. You can feel how firm they are. If only you could just squeeze them, just a tiny bit you—
“Having fun?” He asks, smirking down at you for what seems like the umpteenth time since you’ve landed in South Korea. Your hands are burning and so is your face. You’re absolutely right. This is gonna be a problem.
“Fuck the room, I’m gonna unpack in the kitchen.”
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Eventually, Jungkook helps you bring your belongings in the room you’ll be sleeping in after you carefully folded them on the island.
His apartment is not what you had imagined at all. Sure you had seen a few glimpses of it during facetime calls but there was no full house tour. His home is very neat and capacious, everything very minimalistic. White flooring, walls, countertops, ceilings. Topped off with all black furniture throughout the whole apartment. Honestly, it’s hard to go wrong with that. Did you mention it was clean?
Jungkook gave you the overall tour of the house before the two of you settled in his (much anticipated) room to start streaming. The stream was fun to say the least. Highly energetic, as expected from the popular spunky streamer. You answered a lot of questions and played a few games.
What wasn’t expected was all of the comments shipping you and Jungkook together.
Tons of comments flooded in— all types of ship names and theories of your relationship. ‘An alleged friendship’, they called it. You were too flustered to even respond to them so Jungkook would entertain it by constantly teasing you. Jungkook ended the stream with his usual outro. Of course not without letting the viewers know that you’ll be back to streaming in a few hours. Attending to all of the things Jungkook has planned for you two to do today.
You sit on the gaming chair next to Jungkook, leg bouncing up and down. Something that started out as a question has led to a small argument. Over something so ineffable, you can’t even explain it to yourself without getting conflicted.
“How are you not seeing this from my point of view?” You question (hypocritically), growing frustrated with your friend who is more confused than anything. Because why does it matter if his fans think you two are dating?
“I don’t even know what we’re arguing about right now. It’s not a big deal, _______.” He reaches out to grab your hands in attempt to calm you down, but you quickly pull back. He sighs in defeat. Leaning back in his chair.
“It is though.” You say with less agitation, fiddling with the ends of your braids that rests on your lap, quickly growing tired of the back and forth.
“Enlighten me.” Jungkook perks up, leaning forward in his chair. The whole situation has you flustered and now you regret even saying anything to the man who is now too close for comfort. “Because,” you advert your eyes away from him, looking at the streaming monitor. “You entertaining it will make them start thinking that we’re actually dating and we’re not.” You explain, face as stoic as you can manage. You hear a shift in his movement before turning to look at him again. His arms crossed over his chest.
“Would that be so bad?” He says, seemingly a little offended. You furrow your brows in confusion, not sure what he’s getting at. “Would what be so bad?”
“Dating me,” he emphasizes and you can literally feel your heart sink. Feeling as if you’ve just dropped ninety degrees on a deadly roller coaster. “You’ve been talking as if I’m the fucking plague or something. Why is it so bad that people think we’re dating _______, hm?” He tilts his head after his interrogation. You remain silent. Scared you might say something stupid if you talk.
“Am I not attractive to you? Or, you think I’m frontin’ for my streams—”
“What are you trying to get at here?!” You shake your head in confusion. The roles have quickly changed. Now Jungkook is the one frustrated and you can’t be anymore lost than what you are right now.
“Nothing, obviously!” He stands up, walking over to the large windows in his room. His back facing you as he interests himself with the view outside. You hesitantly approach him, standing not too far behind him as you gently place a hand on his shoulder. “It’s none of that. That’s not—” You pause and his shoulders rises then falls before he turns around to face you. “Can you ever see yourself being in a relationship with me?” He rips the bandage off, tired of beating around the bush.
The question sends a funny little twirl to your tummy. It’s not your first time hearing the familiar question. Having heard it from a few friends several times every time you mentioned the name of your distant friend.
Hearing the same question— out of Jungkook’s mouth now, is totally different. It indicates that he himself has thought about it. What it’d be like if the two of you were together. But the same response stands. “We— you know— I haven’t really… thought about it.” You stammer over your words. Feeling slightly intimidated under his gaze.
“I mean, I do find you attractive— I have eyes for god’s sake. I enjoy talking to you and… all that good stuff.” Jungkook watches you as you sort through your thoughts. His eyes flickering back and forth between yours and your plump lips. “I’m not really in touch with my emotions, like I can be really oblivious at times.” You speak lowly, standing confounded by this whole interaction.
There’s never been a moment in time where you found yourself falling victim to a guy. Not loosing your virginity until your college days— even those encounters were filled with nothing other than pure lust. While everyone else was busy having crushes and dating, you focused on your future. You however aren’t oblivious to the fact that your body reacts differently while around your so called friend. But you never thought anything of it really— the man is hot! Anyone who has a beating pulse could say that much. Figuring that the tall dreamy man is simply just too hot to handle, you brush it off. Now as you stand helplessly, spotlight on you, you try to remember those feelings and what they could mean.
Meanwhile, Jungkook is stuck. Again. He can’t even help it and he doesn’t try to fight it anymore.
You’re gorgeous— and he has no clue as to what you just said even though his eyes never leave your tempting lips. You notice how the silence floods the room, creating an intense tension between the two of you. As mentioned before, oblivion fills you and before you can say anything to break the silence, Jungkook beats you to it.
“I’m about to do something and if you want me to stop, I give you all permission to slap me.” His words are rushed and he doesn’t give you the time to speak, scared of what might fall out of your mouth. His hands gently take hold of your face before his lips meet yours.
Kissing you. Jungkook is kissing you. You process the sudden action rather slowly. His soft lips move against yours as you hear the boisterous sound of your heart drumming in your ears.
Wait… Jungkook is kissing you?
Said man is left with a stinging pain to his cheek, his hand abruptly lifting to hold the reddened flesh. His eyes widen as he comes to terms with the fact you just slapped him. Well, he did say you could. He honestly just didn’t think you would act on it. You whisper out a small “sorry”, feeling horrible for hitting him despite the authorized permission he gave you and Jungkook is unable to look you in your eyes, mood gone pensive.
He figures he’s gotten his answer but stands corrected once you wrap your arms around his neck, feverishly placing your lips on his. There was a feeling of absence— emptiness after you not so lightly smacked him away. Now that your lips are interlaced with his again and that rapid sound of your heartbeat is drumming in your ears again, your fingers scavenging through the curly mullet. You think you understand. Understand that you might be a bit smitten with the highly energetic streamer. Highly energetic and talented with his mouth, you must say. His hands travels to your waist, the crop top your sporting allowing him feel the smooth of your skin under his touch.
“Wait.” He murmurs against your lips before pulling away. Heavy breathing fills the bed room. You look at him with much desperation in your eyes. Desperate for the sweet taste of his lips curled around yours. He prays for the good lord to give him strength. Sighing, he manages to find his self control. “I really do like you _______ and as much as I enjoy kissing you, I need to know your intentions.” He says, fingers tracing shapes on your waist.
“I— I think I like you too.” You respond, sounding more like a question than an answer. However, that’s not good enough for Jungkook. He needs to know that you like him and you want him— it doesn’t matter if it’s to the same extent that it is for him. Just something to let him know that you’re invested in him because he’s damn sure invested in all of you.
“Okay, I’m not gonna break this down into simple terms because you’re not thirteen but—”
“Good because you’d be considered a pedophile if I were.” You tilt your head sarcastically and he shakes his head refusing to even respond to that comment. “If I were to go out tonight and find a woman— and hook up with her,” he emphasizes the last part. “Would you be mad— or feel any type of way?”
With no delay, you flick a brow and slightly cock your head back. Utterly offended. “Why the hell would you go and do that?” The response is so bitter, you almost question whether or not it came out or your mouth. Jungkook’s face of anticipation is sent flying and a huge toothy smile is etched across his face, gushing with relief. “Okay,” he whispers. You close your eyes, shaking your head.
“Okay?” You ask and he nods, the bunny toothed smile shines on. You beckon him to further explain his thoughts and is ultimately caught off guard when he grabs your arms instead. Wrapping them around his neck before lifting you off the ground, his hands grasping the back of your thighs.
“What are you doing?” You gasp out, heart pounding rapidly as you feel a spark run through your veins. So abnormal, you never felt anything like this before. You haven’t even been in this man’s presence a full 24 hours yet and somehow the problem you were previously worried about, doesn’t appear all that consequential. Not when the solution has been presented.
“I’ve waited so long just to hold you in my arms. And now that my confession that I had planned for today is completely ruined—”
“You were going to confess?” You spew out, interjecting his words for the umpteenth time today. “Why you’re full of questions, aren’t you?” He teases before placing a soft kiss onto your cheek. Traveling with you in his arms, you close your eyes while he places slow, tender kisses against your neck. Gently placing you on the cool, welcoming bed. Your body sinks into the resilient foam, feeling snug and warmth when Jungkook’s large frame slightly hovers over you.
“It didn’t take me long to realize that I have feelings for you. Now, I don’t know how that cute little mind of yours work.” He slightly snickers when you cutely purse your lips, tucking a lone braid behind your ear. Looking at you with much adulation in his eyes, you can’t help but cotton into. “But I do know that I will do everything I can for you to feel at least half the amount happiness you give me.”
Reaching your hands out, your thumbs caress his cheeks, brushing over the faint scar. Jungkook shivers under your feathery touch. “I do.” Your thumb slowly travels down to his swollen lips. Fiddling with the silver lip ring that decorates the bottom of the pair. “You make me happy. I’ve never felt this way before.” Jungkook leans down, his knee sinking down further into the bed, to capture your lips again.
Your hands’ fervently roaming the other’s body. Jungkook shutters at the feeling of your hands on his body when they travel their way under his white crew neck. The taste of your coconut flavored chapstick making him dizzy. His lips leave yours, going to strip away his shirt. Exposing his toned muscles and sleeve of tattoos that you’ve yet to fully appreciate and admire.
You let out a shaky breath underneath the lusty muscular man. “You’re not really gonna hook up with someone else right?” You thoughtlessly ask. There’s no way he’s going to present this to any other woman. Not after this. Not when you’re ready to bow down to kiss his feet and willingly fold yourself like a pretzel for him.
The buff man nearly chokes on his laughter. “No, _______” That ethereal smile beams back at you. He leans down to place another kiss on your plumped lips. “I only want you… only you.” He confesses, followed with open mouthed kisses against your neck. Your eyes fall close. Jungkook’s hands make their way under your crop top, cupping your rounded breast through the thin layer of your bra.
You wince at the pressure put on your sensitive nipples. He trails kiss down your neck to your chest, slowly lifting your shirt and you help him, breaking the kiss for no more than a couple of seconds to pull the clothing over your head.
The two of you are like two horny teenagers, desperately going at it. You’ve never been one to crave sex— it’s enjoyable, sure. But you can also go long ways without having any sexual interactions. You can and you have.
However, with Jungkook, you need him. You crave him. Suddenly, after all those dickless years you can no longer stand strong. At least not under him. The deprivation of his touch is killing you even though he’s right above you passionately caressing and kissing all over your body. It’s not enough. If there was a way to be in his skin, you’d most certainly figure it out and act on it effective immediately.
You waste no time, eagerly snatching all of your clothes off, the clothing being discarded every which way across his spacious bedroom. You let out needy whimpers as Jungkook glides his dick up and down your wet folds, his long length laying flat, mushroom tip repeatedly brushing pass your clit, stimulating you further.
“You’re so wet baby.” Jungkook grunts relishing in the way his dick slides so easily across your slippery cunt. “Stretch me out, Kook.” You breathlessly say, clenching your tight pussy around nothing, feeling the need of his length to fill you up.
“I should prep you first. I don’t want to hurt you.” Showing uncertainty behind his soft words that makes your stomach shake. You’ve never been one for masochism, but ironically enough, the thought of Jungkook tearing your pussy up, stretching your tight cunt makes you even more aroused, if even possible. You let a low moan out at the idea and Jungkook’s dick twitches.
“No please— just fuck me. Need you now.” There’s no delay, Jungkook is more than delighted to fulfill your desires. He strokes his girthy length, slick from your loads of arousal before dipping his dick slowly into your opening. A load grunt leaves Jungkook’s mouth once the mere tip of his dick slips in. He can already feel the pressure of your tight cunt around him.
Your cunt engulfs his member as it slowly disappears in the depths of your core. Covering your mouth with your hand to diminish the sound of your loud lewd moans. Once his dick is fully inside, he lowers himself to plant a kiss your lips. Light and feathery and full of care. “Are you okay?” He asks, still feeling a bit perturbed. His eyes laced with concern.
You weakly smile at him, initiating another kiss. “I’m all good.” You say, which instantly satisfies the buff man. He quickly pecks your lips before lifting up again. His hands caress your thighs as he gently separates them.
Conjoined moans feel the room as Jungkook slowly stretches you out. His thick, long dick penetrating into your cunt. The sounds being released out of your mouths’ and the squelching sound of your juices lapping around Jungkook’s dick is music to your ears. After a hand full of thrusts you beckon Jungkook to go faster. Jungkook, being the obedient man he is, thrashes into your cunt. His pace quickens all while deeply infiltrating your leaking cunt.
Your arousal creating a large wet spot on the silk black comforter, lathering the inside of your thighs. “Fuck, you feel so good around my dick— mm. So tight and wet, so fucking beautiful.” He lowly curses before grabbing onto your hand. Your body jerks forward as Jungkook continues to fuck into you. He bite his lip, trying to stay strong and not cum right away. But the way the warmth of your pussy is hugging his length, it’s not so easy.
“K— Kook, shit right there.” You grab onto your boob with your free hand for moral support because you feel like you’re going insane. Your pussy clenches around his dick sending him groaning. “I’m gonna cum, fuhh!” Jungkook hastily nods his head before letting go of your hand, going to rub his thumb against your slippery clit. Your back arches against the bed as he fucks into you so good, overstimulated from the amounts of pleasure.
“Cum on my dick, _______.” Jungkook grabs your waist, pounding into your pussy harder. Which is followed by a trail of incoherent whimpering and whining. You let out a loud scream as you release your load around Jungkook’s length.
The sounds of your pussy squelching around Jungkook’s dick as he rides out your high grows louder and soon he’s due for his own release.
“Fuck!” Quickly sliding out of your cunt, he strokes his length in haste before loads of thick white semen drags out onto your stomach.
Heavy breathing crowds the room as you try to recuperate from the previous event. Jungkook gets up from his bed without a word, leaving the room. After a little over a minute, he returns with a towel and a pack of baby wipes in hand. Coming to clean you up. It’s impossible to hide your growing smile whilst Jungkook silently and intently cleans you up.
“After care goes crazy.” You jokingly comment and Jungkook tries to remain stoic but fails miserably when he ends up laughing. “You can’t take anything serious, can you?” He shakes his head, smile still holding up.
“I take you seriously.” You lowly speak. Jungkook shoots you a smile before going to recover your clothes off the floor, throwing the towel in the garbage. He slips his boxer briefs back on and tosses his shirt to you, wanting you to wear it and you do. The room is silent. A little too quiet for comfort and you don’t want to grow accustomed to the silence so you grab Jungkook’s wrist to stop him from cleaning.
“Sit down.” You say softly, but the tone is simply a facade. Jungkook is well aware that you’re demanding attention so he cooperates. “I want this.” Simply put, but very self explanatory. Jungkook lets out a sigh, staring into your eyes intently. “I wonder what could’ve possibly changed your mind.” He sarcastically speaks, reflecting on the irony of the situation. Your hands wrap around his neck, fiddling with the hair on the nape of his neck, tempted to pull him into another longing kiss.
But you don’t. You don’t need Jungkook thinking you’re only saying this because your dick crazed. Despite your emotional awakening happening prior to having sex with Jungkook, you know that there’s something else there in your heart. Your interest and liking for Jungkook resides outside of sexual attraction and interactions. His meek attitude and sexy figure is just the cherry on top. There’s a connection between you two that makes you inexplicably happy— a sense of security.
“I’m new to this whole relationship process— never been in one my entire life. Everyone speaks of finding the perfect person, their person. And if it’s anything like how people have explained… I think it’s you.” He watches as you stare lovingly into his bambi eyes.
“It’s me?” He whispers, his breath lightly nuzzling your lips that are just inches away from his. You hum, face etched in mischief.
“What is that you said to me? Wha— would you be mad if I hooked…”
“Up with another woman, yes I did say that.” He finishes, lowering his head to hide the growing smile. “And if I recall correctly,” you dipping your head as Jungkook dodges teasing looks. “When I asked you if you’d actually do that, you said no.” You catch his face in your palms forcing him to look at you. The bulbs of his face are bright red and his dimples are deeply inscribed in his risen cheeks.
“Only you.” Repeating the words he vowed to you earlier. You nod your head, uncontrollably squeezing his cheeks in your hands. “Okay well the same goes for me.” Quickly placing a kiss on his forehead before speaking again. “Only you. You have my word.” Jungkook shyly nods, refusing to look you in the eyes still. You giggle at his oddly shy behavior, cracking out and amused “what”.
“Kissing me on my forehead and shit— feels domestic as fuck.” You release a loud laugh in his face to which Jungkook joins in, unable to control himself, your laugh being contagious to the man. Pinning Jungkook on the bed, you smother his face with kisses.
The scene is something you yourself would often cringe at when witnessing other couples. Hypocritically, you bask in the laughter that escapes yours and Jungkook’s mouth. Revel in the way Jungkook’s strong hands grab at your waste when your lips curls around his. This is something you can get used to. You never want to stop feeling this way ever. And you have a feeling that as long as Jungkook is by your side, you’ll feel this way for a very long time.
On top of the world.
“We’re behind schedule.” Jungkook mutters against your lips and you strain your neck to peek at the clock on the nightstand beside the bed. You are in fact behind schedule. “Benny will be here any minute now.” He says, grabbing your arm so he can roll from underneath your hold. Leaving the room to put his clothes on and use the restroom.
You also get up to put your clothes back on, fixing your hair and makeup in the mirror. When Jungkook returns he sneaks behind you and circles his arms around his waist, his chin atop of your head. His tatted hand traveling just under your breast. “You’re so gorgeous, _______.” He whispers softly. You hum with your eyes closed as Jungkook pushes his clothed crotch against your ass. His mouth latching onto your neck, being sure not to leave any marks. “Kook,” you say once you feel his hand dip underneath your shirt, going to cup your tit.
“Hmm?” He continues to grind his growing bulge against your thick ass. You tightly squeeze your thighs together, feeling the familiar sudden sensation between your legs. “No, we have to go.” You shake out of his hold, turning around to see the faint pout on his lips. But soon reluctantly agrees.
“Benny’s outside.” You say, looking out the window as Jungkook hurriedly grabs everything he needs. He jogs over to you with a bright smile on his face. Pecking your lips which takes you by surprise. “Got everything.” You nod your head and the two of you stalk down the stairs. Jungkook smacks your ass before you open the door, gasping, you turn around with a warning glare. He smirks down at you.
“You better behave once we HOP ON THE STREAM.”
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kithtaehyung · 11 months
Text
busted (3tan) (m) | myg
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title: busted  pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) , jungkook x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: when things go a bit south at your house party, decisions between you and yoongi have to be made. note: well. here we are, y’all. it’s been quite a long time, but we are back to regularly scheduled programming :’)) thank you to everyone that has supported and encouraged me throughout this whole process – and series, for that matter. i couldn’t have done this without y’all and the next part is already in the works. also i cried a lot writing this lol have fun! note 2: happy birthday, hedgehog! and to colourless and nicki and whoever else had birthdays recently, consider this my gift to y’all! warnings: language, the amount of content itself fck i’m so sorry, parties, alcohol consumption, tense situations, shoving, abandonment mentions (parental), obligatory yoongi on the phone, ch*king, head/hair pulling, reader has a pain kink and it shows oops, angst, overthinking :((, penetrative s*x, chains but come on now, protective s*x, cowgirl, or*l (m/f rec), edg*ng a ha ha, thro*tf*cking, kissing :’))), kissing D:, did i say angst?, bro😵‍💫, but also bro😭, jungkook gets a warning too, yoongi’s jeans are as ripped as he is heyo, hitting from the b b back, yoongi king of consent sheesh, multiple org*sms, spitting lmfao, sl*t/wh*re mentions, yoongi jfc lol, the aftercare y’all i–😭, the ending🧍  drop date: june 9th, 2023, 7:17pm est  word count: 18.8k gdi
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Here goes nothing and everything.
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It was fifteen years ago when you first met Jungkook. When the sidewalks in your neighborhood were fewer and the occupancy in your house was higher. 
A tiny boy, he was immediately ready to stay by your side, despite the limited amount of time he got to hang around before his parents corralled his energy back inside their car. 
Later on, he would tell you that had something to do with them not wanting him influenced by your brother and his group. But you didn’t know that at the time. 
Ever since the two of you met, you became the best of friends. And as you grew older, it was only natural that feelings bloomed with everything else. 
In the midst of an ever changing garden, you found something that never wavered, vibrant in color and immovable at its root. 
Which was strange. You’d never compared people to flora before him. 
But, because of Jungkook, you couldn’t help but see everyone as such—lilies, buttercups, the ones that trap to survive. 
And he was the prettiest, strongest flower of them all.
There was rain. There were storms. But with them came hope, and a pair of cheap rings that the two of you bought nestled nicely in boxes, waiting to be unearthed when you were ready.
However. 
What also came was a lesson. One that you would learn again when two of every seat remained unused in your household. 
A lesson that people are more like seasons than flowers.
They change with or without you. 
And they pass by.
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“We can go somewhere quieter if you want,” Jungkook offers. And you know he’s going to suggest your room before he even utters the words.
But of course he adds a small, “If I’m allowed in there anymore.”
When he laughs, your smile is as slow as your head shake, a few memories of old tasting bittersweet on your tongue. “We can.”
“Okay.”
When you make your way to your room, you hear the thumps of music and rhythms of conversation—both casual and loud—echoing throughout the house. Some people are sharing laughs, others are scooting just a bit closer, and a lucky one is cackling before demanding that everyone hand over their money. 
All of them oblivious to the fact that you’re about to rip off a piece of your heart.
Well. That may not be the case. But based on the conversation that you had with Jungkook before your interview, this wasn’t going to be an easy one in the slightest—not for him, nor for you.
But if he’s gonna keep pushing forward, this is a stop you need to put up regardless.
During a party isn’t what you had in mind, though. Much less one in your own house.
You don’t know if anyone sees you open your door for Jungkook to pass through, or if they notice the slump of your mood, but you figure no one will care anyways. 
Until you see someone out of the corner of your peripheral.
And the skip of your heart tells you who it is.
Occupying one of the hallways a ways away, you can tell he’s very aware of you despite being in the middle of a chatty group.
But what’s on his mind? Is he worried? Is he gonna ask what this is about?
Damn it. You’re just gonna have to tell him later. You can’t exactly do anything now. 
A voice peeps from behind your tense shoulders,
“You okay?”
Fuck. 
Turning, you nod to the boy in your room before shutting your door, giving one more look to the man whose last text you couldn’t read.
And the way he stares makes you wanna bolt from everyone entirely.
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When your door clicks shut, you slowly swivel, only the bass of your brother’s music pushing the walls in closer. 
Jungkook’s doing exactly what you knew he’d do, wandering around your room and either leaning in to observe, or lightly touching things that he remembers. 
The soft puff of a laugh snaps you into focus. “I can’t believe you still have all his medals up.”
Ah. He even remembers the way you have all your brother’s trophies and achievements displayed—all because you liked seeing them shine, and he didn’t want them in his room.
Sweeping your gaze along two of your walls, you let out a tiny sound of amusement while agreeing, “I can. Too lazy to take them down.” 
“I can do it,” he immediately responds. “If you need me to.”
If it had been five years ago, you would’ve been enamored that he even offered.
But five years ago is when he shattered any hopes you had for the two of you, so you turn him down yet again. “It’s okay.” 
“You sure?”
“We’re here to talk, not decorate, Jungkook.”
He stares before nodding in dejection, eyes finding something other than you. “It’s still weird to hear you say my name.”
It’s weird to say it. 
But you can’t let him know you agree, so the sound you make is half-cautious and weakly lighthearted. “You think so?”
“Ah, yeah.” He flashes a smile that still squeezes air from your lungs. “I’d gotten too used to all the names you had for me.”
“Oh, god.”
“But I guess someone else gets to hear them now.”
Goddamn it. He’s not gonna give up, just like he said right before your interview. 
“Who are you seeing?” 
“Kook…” 
“I wanna know.” 
“Why?”
He walks over to your nightstand, picking up a picture of you and your friends from years back. 
And your heart pangs at how big his back has become. 
Without turning, Jungkook lifts his head to stare at your ceiling. And if he’s wondering whether the glow stars he stuck all over it are still there or not, you don’t know if you’d admit that you never took them down. 
“So that I’d know if I still have a chance.” 
“You already had yours,” you whisper. “Remember?”
And when you look up, he’s already staring at you with regret. 
Memories start to come back, but you shove them away with force, trying to empty your sinking boat with a teaspoon. 
Every time he had walked back from school with you, every time he would make you laugh when you felt alone, every time he stayed at your place when your brother had to be out—all of them competed with each other to punch you in the gut and push you to your knees. 
“I do,” is all he says before softly placing the frame on your bed. “I fucked that up, didn’t I.” 
The times he said he’d be there when you needed him, the times he said it was gonna be okay when you struggled with your seemingly deepest darkest secrets. 
All the times you knew you’d have a long future with him. 
“You did.”
Everything leading up to the time he said you should break up before you left for university.
Right before you were going to tell him you loved him.
Your heart hasn’t beat in awhile, but you don’t notice until Jungkook starts walking towards your planted feet. Was he really so far away? How did he cover the distance between so fast?
With a sigh occupying your chest, you muse that he looks so different, but also not different at all. 
And just like the time you saw him downtown, your brain doesn’t know how to separate the Jungkook you knew from the one you see in front of you. 
Because they are still the same.
You don’t budge as he stands resolute, inches away but encasing you in his familiar presence. When his hand comes up to your face, he almost touches—but the slight hesitation has you holding your breath before he surrenders his hand at his side. 
“I was an idiot,” he admits, throat seemingly small and making yours the same size. “I never should’ve… I can’t believe I…” 
You watch as he flips his head up, and you hate how you know exactly what he’s trying to hide. 
But your soul still remembers the wound it was dealt. So while you don’t want him feeling this way, you’re perfectly okay to fight back. 
He doesn’t get to cry when he’s the reason for all those tears. 
“And yet you did,” you remind him, proud of how stable your voice leaves lips that used to seek his. “And you left me so fucking confused.” 
“I know.”
“Do you really?” 
He flickers regretful eyes your way, giving you all the room to talk. 
And you’re going to.
“Do you actually know, Kook? How fucked up that made me feel right before going where I knew nobody. No one.” 
His nostrils flare while eyebrows flinch. 
You expel a tough breath, everything that happened before bubbling up to the surface. The nights you spent wondering what happened, the days you spent feeling unwanted, the times you felt so fucking alone.
“Is it true that you even loved me?”
“Yes,” he finally shatters, face contorting and eyes welling at their rims. “Of course I did.” 
Did.
“I still do.”
Liar.
“I thought I was the only one.” You search his eyes, hating how you would comfort him in an instant if this were any other circumstance. Hating, hating, loathing that this is how you find out your love wasn’t unrequited. “Why did you push me away?” 
“I didn’t—I didn’t mean to…” He turns, unable to handle the loud silence streaming from your bones. Voice shaken, he flounders, “I don’t know. I’ve—” 
When he pauses, it’s to keep his lips from shaking. You just know it. 
“I’ve regretted it every day since.” 
“Bullshit.” 
“I have!”
“Really. So all those texts you never sent were full of regret, too, huh?” 
“No, I—”
“All those calls you never made.” 
“I wanted to call!”
“You wanted nothing to do with me!”
“No! That’s not true—”
“Liar!”
He digs palms into the soaking divots of his face, tense at all angles and making you so, so angry that this is what the both of you have come to. 
“I’m not lying!”
“You are!”
You thought it would feel better seeing him cry. 
But it’s not, it’s not, it’s not. You hate this. 
Because Jungkook made sure your tears were short-lived. Made sure to chase them away every single time—
There’s a rapid twist of your locked doorknob before you hear a shout,
“What the hell’s going on in there!”
Shit, your brother. Were you both yelling? 
…Were you both that loud?
“We’re fine!” you shout back, embarrassed that your fight somehow managed to outperform the aux. “It’s okay.”
“Open the door.”
“No.”
“You better be serious—”
“Promise!” You look toward the shouts. “We’re okay.” 
“…Okay.”
And then it’s completely silent.
But you know he hasn’t left. 
Fuck, he can’t hear the rest of this. He shouldn’t have heard any of it in the first place, and you can feel the heat of his questions coming later tonight. 
Which, you are fine answering when it’s just the two of you. But you cannot have anyone hovering right now so you go to open the door and tell him off, 
“Dude, I said I’m—”
Oh, fuck.
Yoongi’s right there with him.
And your heart fucking lurches.
Fuck fuck fuck they both see your tears and you’re getting moved aside before you know it now there’s—
“The fuck are you doing making them cry?”
“Wait, it’s not like th—”
“You come into our house after years—”
“Stop!”
“And pull some shit like this?”
Alarmed, you squeeze yourself between him and a very wide-eyed Jungkook, having to wrestle an angry wrist off a captured bicep. “Seriously, relax!”
You and your brother have a thousand differences. 
But one thing you two have in common? 
He’s just as stubborn as you are. 
A strong swipe moves you back so fast that your feet can’t keep up, and you find yourself stumbling until firm hands and familiar cologne keep you upright, voices springing up all at once.
“I’m not—”
“Hey—!”
“The fuck—”
“What’s wrong with you?” you question, commanding attention and snagging both your brother’s and Jungkook’s stares.
Barely even caring if they see where you are and who’s holding you. 
Because this is all stupid. It’s not fucking high school and you aren’t some kid that needs their useless, shitty, good-for-nothing parents to stand up for them. 
Resisting Yoongi’s grip until he lets go, you stalk up to rip your brother’s hand off your ex’s arm, voice darkened and sharp, “Get out.”
Breath hard, the reply you get is directed more at Jungkook than your own pinched brows, 
“Why should I.”
“Cus it’s fine,” you shoot out, sparing a glance at Yoongi and regretting it immediately. 
Because he’s not looking at you. He probably wasn’t ever looking at you.
No. Based on that look alone, he’s been eyeing Jungkook with an energy that sends chills straight through your veins.
It’s so unmoving, so infernal that your throat dries, forcing you to swallow before laying more reassurance on three pairs of tense shoulders. “It’s alright, okay? We’re just talking.”
“…So it’s like that?”
Jungkook immediately replies to your sibling with a monotone, “Of course it is.”
To which he moves forward again before you stop him with a hand and a shout, 
“The fuck it isn’t—” 
“It is! Fucking hell, dude...” 
You force an exhale, hating how your room is overflowing while you’re still drowning in the conversation prior. 
Because now one talk is gonna sprout into three, and you already dread what each one is going to look like when it develops. 
You hope Jungkook understands that you’re done. 
You hope your brother understands that you’re tired. 
And, above all the others, you hope to any high power out there that Yoongi understands that you are anything but finished. 
When the tension doesn’t budge, you sigh and shift your weight.
“Look. We’re just talking. But I need to speak to him alone.” You breathe with finality, eyeing your sibling and his ride or die—hating and loving how ready they are to do whatever they need to, together.
But they don’t have to do anything. 
Except let you do this yourself. 
“Please.” 
After a moment, they both look over your shoulder before your brother watches your face again. 
But Yoongi seems to have finally caught Jungkook’s attention, because his eyes haven’t broken their lock until you say something,
“Trust me.”
Two weighty seconds pass before both men nod. And they leave without a word, emotions toppling on each other as soon as your door shuts. 
When you walk up to lock it shut, you stare at the knob in silence. 
While that was massively uncalled for, it could’ve gone much worse. You can already think of over a hundred outcomes, because that’s a look you’ve seen on your brother many times. 
However. That’s not what has you lost in thought.
What keeps you frozen is the fact that you have never seen Yoongi like that.
It almost scared you, but somehow comforts you all the same. You can still feel the way he subtly squeezed you in assurance, pressing you into him when you really didn’t fall that far. There’s a jittering in your chest that hasn’t simmered, and it makes you feel like you’re halfway floating back to where Jungkook stands.
But you’re promptly grounded when you rejoin him, voice soft when you ask if he’s okay. 
“He hasn’t changed,” is all he whispers. 
And you look at the door with a sigh of disappointment. “He has a little. Still uptight as ever, but. At least I can leave the house.” 
“Yoongi was a surprise.”
Oxygen abandons your lungs before you quickly catch yourself. “They’re best friends.”
Jungkook glares at the floor in thought before exhaling, and his silence seems charged. Almost off.
“Right.”
…Well, what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Is it because he saw when Yoongi caught you? Or the fact that he showed up at all? 
“Hey,” you whisper, hoping to rope him away from whatever scary things he could be pondering. When he flicks his attention to you, it takes a lot to not flinch at his watery eyes. “Ignore them. We aren’t finished here.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and your conversation jumps right back to where it was. “For everything.” 
“I know.” You close your eyes before sadness lowers your gaze. “But it’s gonna hurt for awhile.” 
Even if you get this closure, it can’t cover all the years he made you doubt yourself. Made you feel like everything you went through was a lie and that love was something you just didn’t deserve. Confidence vaporized as a result, leaving nothing but issues and manufactured intimacy for years. 
Maybe that’s why everyone said you were a bad lay before. Because you actually were. 
Through your thick haze, you hear a faint, broken, 
“You loved me?”
“I…” Don’t say it. Don’t tell him. “I still do.”
“What?”
Fuck. 
It’s true. While he broke your heart first, he still cared for it more than anyone else after him had—until recently. The only grief he gave you was the breakup, which was why it threw you for an absolute loop. 
As you grew up, though, you started to rationalize that the split was a good decision. He was moving, and you were leaving for college. How would you both have fared with the long distance? It probably would have ended one way or the other anyways. 
So while the resentment burned your heart, it didn’t quite rid you of affection. What you feel as a result is similar to before, but so very, very different. Subdued. Faded. Like jeans you wore constantly but haven’t touched in years. 
In all honesty, what broke you the hardest was losing a dear friend. 
“I do,” you finally admit, not looking at him because of your next words, “But not the way you want me to.” 
Jungkook doesn’t respond, letting the outside world bleed into the room like a bitter interlude.
When he still makes no sound, you lift weary eyes to check on him.
And your chest constricts at the way he looks utterly and totally lost. 
When you call his name, his gaze doesn’t leave the floor. When you whisper it again, the tear that falls makes you weak. “Kook, what’s wrong?”
He finally looks up, and you feel your eyes quickly reflect his. “I was so stupid,” he sniffles, wiping his nose. “I really didn’t know. Honestly, I knew that was impossible.” 
For some reason, this makes you chuckle, and a new mood starts to paint the walls. “Why?”
“Because you were so cool.” His smile hasn’t changed. And that’s what cuts the deepest. “And I was just there because I always was.” 
“What?” You start to join him in bittersweet recollection, albeit from a different perspective. When you reach forward to point at his necklace—because you will not touch the ring—you softly laugh. “Then what were these for, silly?” 
When he sighs, you can feel the cracks in his curve. “I’ve been told that I’m clueless.” 
“You are,” you say with a sagging grin. “Extremely.” 
He laughs again. So do you. 
And the both of you break all at once. 
He’s crushing you in a hug and you’re crying into his clothes, hands gripping at his jacket and shoulder feeling the weight of his world. 
While he repeats that he’s sorry, you choke out that you are, too. When he says it was never your fault, you cry even harder. 
You fucking hate this. Now that you know the truth, it hurts that much worse. You hate, hate, hate that this is what everything came to. Everything that you both went through, destroyed by one mistake at the bitter end. 
But you need to move on. You need to sacrifice the past for the future. 
“I still love you,” he whispers, and you tense when he tightens his arms. “And I’m still sorry.”
“You idiot,” you cry into his chest, and you hear him hold back a sob before burying his head again.
And the two of you stay like that. One last embrace that you both needed.
Reminiscing over everything that doesn’t matter anymore.
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When you both calm, you feel like it’s been hours. 
But you move to step away first, confused at the way he doesn’t let you leave. 
What’s he doing? Why is his mouth hovering over yours? You need to move. You need to move away. 
But all you can do is plead, “I can’t.”
Still, Jungkook moves in. 
Leaning to kiss just next to your lips instead.
What once would have lit your soul on fire now feels like a tempered flame, the smallest light of a candle before it burns out. And you’re grateful that he respects you enough to not push in a time of weakness. 
You move away again, and he lets you go this time. But not without last words, “Promise me this person is alright.”
“I promise.” 
“Only alright? I have a chance then.”
“Kook.” When you give him an empty glare, dying stars still linger in his eyes. “Friends?”
His lips give away his breaking heart before he nods. “I’m not leaving you again.”
Swallowing, you spread a thankful smile. “You better not,” you sniffle. “I need to decorate.” 
He huffs, giving you one more teary stare. “If they ever hurt you, let me know.” 
“I’ll be okay.” 
After a noncommittal nod, he stands until you politely tell him you need a minute. When he leaves, you wait until the door shuts before wiping nothing from your cheek.
Wondering why this closure doesn’t make you feel better in the slightest.
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You don’t know how long it’s been. Time doesn’t exactly flow when you’re caught between the past and the present. 
But when you open your door, Dom is watching you with pure, unadulterated focus.
And your face scrunches in pain before she ushers you back inside.
She doesn’t say anything as you sit on your bed, offering her shoulder even though she doesn’t prefer physical contact.
While you’re grateful—so, so thankful for her presence—intermittent sniffles are the only sound you’re capable of. 
Until you stabilize and come up for air, fishing words from your river of grief, “Remember what I told you. When he broke up with me.”
Anger simmers in her reply as her shoulder moves under your chin. You assume by the movements that she’s typing something on her phone—or prepping for revenge, either one of the two. “I do.”
“He said he still loves me.”
Your first thought is proven correct as a device plops onto your comforter. “Bullshit.”
“Dom…”
“What? Like he loved you then, too?” She scoffs. “You were the one that loved him and he cut you out. He needs to get over that.”
“He said it was a mistake.” 
“It sure as fuck was.” 
“I dunno. Something just doesn’t sit right.” You swipe at your nose. “He looked so.. I just…” 
“Uh uh. It’s too fresh.” She gently lifts your heavy cloud off her person, firm fingers squeezing out rain. “You gotta get out of your own damn head right now.” 
“I know.”
“Now.”
You break into another sob, hiccuping before nodding. “It just sucks, Dom. I d—”
“Look, I get that. But everything you’re thinking about already happened. It’s done.” A glance is thrown behind her back before she swivels around. “Focus on what you have now.” 
In your moments of weakness, you ask the dumbest things, 
“What do I have now.”
As always, Dominique is quick and to the point. “A man that’s waiting outside your door.”
Huh?
Your eyes flash up to hers as she stands. “Wait, what?”
What did she say? What does she mean? How does she know that what’s going on— 
“One minute,” she warns, far away and not to you. “Then you’re on your own.”
“K.”
Wait, what.
You don’t even realize you’re vacating your bed as you see him walk in, nodding back at Dom closing the door before regarding your wreck of a face. 
His name is molasses on your tongue.
What is he doing? Isn’t the party still on? Why is he walking closer? 
He’s not supposed to be in here he can’t be here and you’re telling him that but he pulls you in so tight that the rest of your tears rain down in sheets. 
“Fuck,” is all you can manage now, and he crushes you in even harder, as if he wants you pressed against all of him forever like a keepsake leaf on a journal page.
Your voice writes words into his clothes, silence his only reply but the only one you need. 
Even if you only get a minute, this is enough. It’s enough, not enough, enough.
When he holds you at arm’s length, his question comes out a bit fast-paced, “What happened?” 
Damn it. As much as you should probably tell him, you use precious seconds to pause, not really knowing if you want to or not. 
“Don’t sweat it,” he quickly understands, kissing your forehead just as chaste. When he moves again, you catch the tension in his shoulders, notice the ruffles in his hair. “You gonna be okay?”
“Yes. No.” Fuck, he kinda looks as rattled as you feel. What is happening right now? “I just, umm. I need a minute.”
“You don’t have to go back out there, you know.”
“But you do,” you counter. “And I just wanna see you.” 
Finally, Yoongi stops, and his whole upper body relaxes at once. A beautiful sound to your ears, amusement huffs out his nose before he mutters, “You can’t keep saying shit like that.” 
“But it’s true.” 
His chuckle is light, and mischievous eyes find the ground before they lift to yours,
“Makes me wanna take you home.” 
Well. You swiftly realize why he doesn’t want you to keep saying certain things. The zing of emotion through your body was definitely uncalled for. 
Any other day, you would want this type of conversation to keep going. And maybe you’d be a little coy about it. 
But right now, all you are is tired, and your barriers are crumbled enough for a truth to escape. 
Resigned, you step closer to wrap his waist in your arms, not caring if he can feel the rapid beats of your heart. “I want you to do that,” you admit, breath warming your face on his already warmer shirt. “All the time.” 
“Take you home?” 
“Mmhmm.” 
Yoongi runs fingers along your arm. “You know I’d do it if I could, doll.” 
If you were someone else. If you didn’t have to hide. 
If you didn’t have to wait. 
At least you don’t have to wait for much longer. Definitely can’t say anything to your brother tonight, but you and Yoongi agreed on after this party. So things will be better from here on out. 
But why does he seem so—
You’re spooked by a warning knock on your door, and you flicker eyes to see his filled with something you don’t like. 
And the air suddenly shifts to something alarming.
“Listen.”
“Hmm?”
“I know we said we’d say something.”
Oh. You shake your head, already on the same page and liking how in sync you are. “There’s no way. At least, not tonight. Jungkook—”
“It may need to be a bit longer than that.”
Huh.
What does he mean by—
“So you probably won’t see me for awhile.”
You freeze. 
So does time. 
A minute is no longer enough.
“Yoongi, please—”
“Can you do that?”
Your heart slams against your ribcage, banging and banging and screaming that what he’s asking is not possible.
Because he isn’t asking what you want to do. He isn’t even asking how long you can wait. 
There’s a reason why he’s risking all sorts of shit to say this in person. Why he seems so restless. 
And you’re already missing him so hard it hurts.
Truthfully? You can’t do this. Not now. Not when your heart is bleeding out on your own bedroom floor. There isn’t even enough time to process Jungkook’s talk and now you need to deal with this?
“Babe?”
But despite what you feel, even if your throat is seizing and your chest is caving in, your answer will be what he needs. 
Because seeing Yoongi look like this—torn and frayed at the edges—renders you powerless and protective all at once. For fuck’s sake, he looks slightly panicked and this is the second new side of him you’ve seen tonight.
And yet he found a way to be with you one last time. 
Sacrificing seconds just to say goodbye. 
So you give up something, too. Your wants and needs because you don’t think you can do this, but it seems way too important to him to not try. 
You get it. That whole confrontation probably snapped all sense back into him. He doesn’t want to hurt his best friend. Or disrupt his work environment. Or both. Whatever whatever whatever. You should’ve seen this coming.
If distance is what he wants, you’ll give it. Instant karma because you just told someone else to give you some, too.
Of course you lose someone as soon as you gain back another.
“Doll, let me know because—”
“Anything,” you rush out, and yearning taints your voice on the descent. “I’ll do it.”
He pans from one eye to the other, and you weakly reveal a crack in your resolve,
“Anything for you.”
That answer was a lot more than what you meant to say. And the next look he gives rips you into shreds. Shreds of the bigger truth you just told him with moments left of his time.
“For us,” he corrects, swooping in to give you one more soul-shattering kiss.
And with that, he pulls away, turning to retreat into the real world that proves absurdly cruel. 
You don’t know when you’ll get to be alone with him again. It could be a day. Or months. Or even longer.
But watching him go, you know you can get through this. You know you can do it. 
Because this is nothing new. Just another person leaving. You’ve gone through it before and you’ll go through it again and this time will be different, right? Right? He’ll come back. Of course he will. 
And yet there’s still a part of you that questions.
If people are like seasons… 
Which one will Yoongi be?
Fuck.
Your body is moving before the rest of you does, and you propel forward to tug him in, flooding his lips with saltwater and longing and a deluge of reluctant trust. 
And he responds in an instant, swallowing you in an embrace you’ll cherish forever and willingly giving in to your desperate tugs on his jacket.
“Yoongi, I—”
You hear another insistent knock before he slings you into the nearest wall, and he grips the back of your head so hard you sob into his mouth. 
“I know.”
His name rattles around your mouth.
“It’ll be okay.”
You wanna believe him.
“Okay?”
But you only nod, eyes filled with oceans but gaze unwavering. Because you need to see him. Because you need to see him. 
“Fuck.” 
He smashes his lips on yours once more, capturing every soft plea for him to stay and holding you so tightly that your heart splinters. And while you know this is his way of telling you everything will be okay, you have a sinking suspicion that he is fighting to believe it himself.
It’s not fair.
None of this is fucking fair. 
If he was anyone else, if you were anyone else, if your brother wasn’t the way he was, if Jungkook wasn’t in the position he’s in now. 
It was just nights ago that you cradled all his moonlight in your palms.
And now you’ll be farther apart than stars. 
Yoongi finally pulls away right as Dom opens the door, and a myriad of emotions slosh into your brain when his eyes never leave you. 
“I got us,” he vows, finger on your chin the sole thing keeping you afloat, and you suspend in disbelief that someone you know is witnessing his lips press your forehead in real time and no explosions or helicopters are crashing onto the scene.
Just a panicked “Hurry up, for god’s sake!” to indicate your friend is not amused or phased.
Yoongi finally steps away, slowly backing up before slipping out, and the door closes with only you inside—hand clawing deep into your chest. 
Because you know him well enough.
He was committing your every feature to memory. 
And the desperation in his reddened eyes hunches you forward in pain.
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The rest of the party goes on. Music booms, people laugh, conversations sparkle.
And you hear them all through your door.
Unmoved from the spot everyone left you in.
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Idiot🙄 [1:34am]: Hey
Idiot🙄 [1:34am]: You up or nah?
You [1:40am]: yeah
Idiot🙄 [1:40am]: Help me clean up
You scoff at your phone, letting it fall from your hand before resting tired eyes between your knees. 
When it buzzes again, you reluctantly read it with vision unreflecting.
Idiot🙄 [1:42am]: Left food for you, too
That you will leave your room for. You may have just cried out your weight in tears alone.
You🙄 [1:46am]: ok
Idiot🙄 [1:46am]: 👍
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Cleaning is a quiet event, with you both doing the chores you’ve defaulted to over the years. While he clears the floors and deals with the trash, you steadily get through the dishes, scrubbing them as well as you can before placing them in the washer to dry.
A plate. A bowl after that. 
Two whisky glasses even though there were plenty of solo cups to use.
You needed this. Needed a way of going through the motions and letting your brain fly on autopilot. If you sniffle, the water drowns it out, and only the dishes get to see any lingering tears.
And unluckily for you, there are plenty of both.
“Hey.”
You hum.
“Do I need to beat his ass?”
Well, that didn’t take long. 
Frustration tears its way up your throat on all fours, “I should kick yours for what you did back there.”
“And I’d deserve it.” 
You pause.
“But I still wanna know.” 
Sighing, you shake your head, knowing that neither of you are angry enough to fight anyways. “No, okay? I was serious. We talked.” 
“I know you talked but he still hurt you.”
Your lip stings under your teeth.
“And I can’t just let that go.”
When he stops, you place another dish on its rack. “Let’s just finish and I’ll tell you everything in a sec.” 
He sets down the last of his trash before retiring in the living room, the thump of weary weight squeezing a sigh out of the couch.
And you eventually join him, water cutting off with a squeak before you shuck off your gloves. 
As you walk through the cleaned-enough rooms, you keep hearing afterimages of conversations, wondering how many revolved around your shouting match with Jungkook, or how many speculated who Yoongi is or isn’t seeing. 
All these pretend scenarios mock you from all sides. 
But the conversation you’re about to have with your brother is gonna be real. And a long time coming, quite frankly. 
You take a breath before crossing into a space that’s seen and heard many things. While you take residence in your regular spot on the sofa, your brother doesn’t deter his gaze from a television that’s not on.
But as soon as you blurt out your confession, he slowly closes his eyes. 
“He broke up with me. Before I left for school.” 
“...Why didn’t you tell me.”
Brows scrunched, you waste no time in pinning him with your response, “Did you see yourself back there? Imagine if you found out back then.”
Silence. 
“Besides,” you continue, deflating back into the cushions, “He was moving, remember? And you had enough going on. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I always worry.” 
“It’s whatever at this point. I didn’t even know he was back until Yoo—you told me.”
Shit, that was close. 
“I shouldn’t have made it a surprise.” 
“Not your fault. What’s done is done.” When you observe the blank screen, you can see your brother aim a look your way. “Just made the whole uni thing miserable at first.” 
And the years after, too, but he doesn’t need the same details that Yoongi got. 
He sighs, hand scratching the side of his head before free-falling. When it’s quiet, you think he’s preparing for war. Prepping a vow to go after Jungkook and dealing with a problem that’s not yours anymore. 
But he doesn’t do that. What he says catches you completely off guard.
An apology.
“I’m sorry I’m always gone. Or not really here when I’m back.” 
Where did that come from? Are you already done with a talk you dreaded for years? 
This can’t be it. 
Blinking, your mouth slowly opens before you respond as level as possible. “It’s okay. I can pretty much fend for myself at this point.” 
“I know. But I’ll try to be better.” 
He’s gonna what? “Why?”
“Cus I feel… Uhh.” He moves his lips around in thought, as if the next sentence takes strategy to arrange. “I feel like we don’t really talk anymore.” 
“…Oh.”
You’re thoroughly thrown. Because who the hell is this person you’re talking to right now? What’s up with him? He doesn’t need to try anything better except calm the fuck down sometimes. And let you be an adult.
And frankly, you feel like you talk a normal amount anyway. At least, you didn’t think anything was off about it. 
What the hell happened after he left your room?
Suddenly, you see him laugh at the ground before asking it a question. “Remember when we’d go get our own food?” 
Alright, he’s definitely drunk or a clone. 
But you’ll take it. This switch in what you expected this conversation to be is a welcome one, and you softly entertain memories that aren’t supposed to be this funny. “Yeah. We’d get told to come back with our parents.” 
“Until they realized we kept going alone.” 
A memory makes you smirk. “You even tried dressing like a grown up.” 
He chuckles again, elbows resting on his knees as he watches your coffee table. “I really thought I did it, too.” 
“You did.” Thinking about all the shit you both went through, it’s truly a wonder how you’re both still here. Living and existing and doing big things. 
A rueful chuckle leaves your lips, floating to the floor. “We’re fucked up, huh.” 
“Very,” he agrees. “But who isn’t.” 
True. “It could be worse, I think.” 
“How?” 
You play with some of the frays on your sofa, wondering when this piece of furniture started to resemble thin lines of too-soft polyester at its edges. 
Did it start to give up around the same time your parents did? Or had their patience worn thin way before the threads on this cushion began to fade? 
Whichever truth remains, at least it’s still here—witnessing all the struggles and triumphs, the highs and lows, and all the times the two of you had sat in puffy-eyed silence. 
Together. 
“They could’ve left us somewhere else.” 
“Ah,” he nods, slowly shaking his head and twisting the watch on his wrist. “Nah.” 
Silent, your eyes find his side profile in due time. “No?”
And his glare burns the path ahead. Just like it always has. “I wouldn’t have let them.” 
“Oh, really.”
“I got them to leave us all this, didn’t I?”
Wait, he did what now?
…You didn’t know that. 
“Hold on,” you breathe slow. “That’s what happened?”
“We had a deal.” He sighs before leaning all the way back, hands joined at the knuckles on his stomach. “If I graduated with full marks and, uhh. Got a starting salary high enough, they’d pay for your tuition.”
The pause he makes weighs a ton. 
“And leave this to us when you came back.” 
So… He… 
Holy shit. 
You were just fucking relieved you didn’t have to pay any loans. For once, you thought your parents really had your best interests in mind and did something out of kindness before peacing the fuck out. 
But it’s all because your brother negotiated and pulled off the near impossible? 
…Is he paying loans? 
“I didn’t know any of that,” you whisper, finding yourself on the verge of tears again.
He simply shrugs, looking down at his cherished piece that he rarely takes off. “You didn’t need to. You were just a kid.”
“So were you.”
Your brother purses his lips, and you wonder what words he could be holding back. What thoughts he has that he won’t say out loud. If any of them are things he wants to say but can’t. 
“It’s whatever.”
He had to grow up fast so that you didn’t have to. 
And you don’t have the heart to tell him that university fast tracked that anyways. 
So, while grateful as hell and knowing you’ll be thinking about this conversation for years, you switch the subject. You’re already overwhelmed as is. 
And you suddenly understand what Yoongi might be struggling with, too. 
Because if he did all this for you, what lengths has he gone for his best friend? 
Shoving that thought into a far corner of your brain, you rest your head to mirror your sibling, letting your tears slide back to where they came from. “I, umm. Was wondering why they left us the house. But I figured they just didn’t wanna pay for it.” 
“It was already paid off,” he explains, seemingly just as happy to talk about something else. “Don’t ask me how I know this, but it’s how I was able to negotiate in the first place. They had four other properties, and a condo on some island.” 
“What.”
“That’s why they were rarely here. Work trips, my ass.” He scoffs before bouncing a leg. “And they had us in this place.” 
“I like it here, though.”
“I do, too, but…” You hear a shuffle of his feet before he stops. “I just. I dunno, it’s just us here. It feels...” 
“Empty?” 
“Maybe. More like something’s missing? I dunno, that’s probably lame.” 
You inhale before assuring him. “It’s not.” 
And with that, you’re both left to stare at the same ceiling, conversation stewing and simmering around the whole room.
Usually, this is when you leave. Because you don’t wanna talk about shit like this, or you simply feel like doing anything else. 
But tonight, you want to stay. You didn’t know these things about your brother and what he did, and it’s making you realize a lot of things. 
And regret others. 
A question rolls off your tongue before you can overthink it, “Do you ever wonder what we did wrong?” 
“All the time.” 
“When I think about it, I always end up thinking the same thing.” 
“Hmm.” 
You tilt your head his way. “We weren’t the adults. But neither were they.” 
And you both huff in tandem after he grins. “Damn.” 
You don’t know how the two of you got here. But it was much better than talking about anything else, and you silently thank him for not making you more miserable than you already were. 
Truthfully, you feel a little better instead.
He just needs to know for sure that you really are past the whole situation. Mostly. A healthy amount, at least. 
So you tell him. “I mean it, thou—”
“I’m sorry.”
“Huh?” You look over to see regret fill his side of the couch.
“For what I did. I was outta line.”
“Oh.” You swallow, surprisingly emotional that he’s even owning up to it. You know it only happened because he was being protective, but hearing this from him is huge. That had to be hard. “Thank you.”
“I just.. I love you, okay?” He turns to look at the ceiling again, and you quickly have to do the same because you know how that was even tougher to say. “You and my brothers.. You’re all I’ve got.” 
Liquid emotion runs down your cheek, never having been told that more than once in a single day.
It’s a shame how foreign it sounds when you say it back. 
But that doesn’t make it any less true.
“Love you, too.”
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An hour later, you find yourself in bed, clutching your phone while a single question loops through your brain.  
…Calling should be okay, right?
Even if you can’t see him, or really be in the same room, this should be okay. At least, in the dead of night when even birds are asleep. When no one is awake to judge you both for lying to the people you... 
Your chest squeezes when you press down on your decision, the talk with your brother repeating in your ears.
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
It’s ringing.
Still ringing.
…And you feel your chest cave when you hear it go to voicemail.
Fuck. 
Maybe he’s sleeping already. Unforeseen circumstances like emotional turmoil tend to slow down your getting ready for bed process, so it took a lot longer than usual. Maybe he isn’t actively avoiding your calls and is just face down in a pillow you miss using.
And maybe you need to get used to this god-awful feeling as quickly as you can. 
This hollow, aching, painful feeli—
Yoongi: Incoming Call
Your chest booms when you see his name, and you try your absolute hardest to answer normally even though instant tears blur the screen.
“H—”
“Sorry, I was showering, fuck.”
His breath sounds so rushed, and you immediately wonder what he looks like if he didn’t take that long to answer. Imagining him in only a towel or less, you let out a pained chuckle before whispering, “You okay?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”
Of course that’s his answer. “I’m not. Just wondering if you were.”
“Why would I be if you aren’t? Ow.”
Body alert, you only focus on that last syllable. “Wait, are you hurt?”
You hear a low grunt before he responds. 
“Just hit my fucking knee getting out.” 
Ouch. How the hell did he do that? “I’m sorry. You got ice, though, right?” 
“It’s not that bad. Just stings.” 
“Okay.”  
There’s some crunching sounds before you hear footsteps and hisses, and a thump before other noise crackles through. 
“Spoke to Kook.” 
Shit.
“And the guys.”
Oh. About work. “What’s up?”
“We’re gonna be busy as shit for the next month or two, so.. Guess that came at a good time.” 
Ah. No finish line in sight.
But he didn’t hide that information from you, so you appreciate the honesty. Better than him leaving you in complete darkness.
“Yeah, do your thing,” you support. “I need to prep for this interview anyway. And figure shit out if I end up getting the job.” 
“When you get it.”
You exhale, shy. “When I get it, yeah.”
“Where is it again? That blue building, yeah?”
“Mmhmm. But where I’ll be is like, third floor.”
“See? Claiming shit already.”
You realize right as he says it, but you meant something completely different. Your laugh is soft. “I meant for the interview.” 
“Mm. Well lemme know where you post up after they hire you.”
“Yoongi.”
“Fine.”
“Did you, umm. Did you and Kook talk about anything else?”
“Just work stuff.”
“Okay.” Your eyes lower. If he’s telling you everything, you gotta reciprocate. 
Even the stuff you don’t wanna mention. “He tried to kiss me.”
“What.”
Swallowing at his tone, you whisper, “I told him I couldn’t.” 
“…I see.”
Fuck. He does not sound okay with that in the slightest. Disappointed with yourself, you apologize, “I’m sorry.”
“Huh? Don’t be.”
“You sound mad.”
There’s another moment of silence, and you don’t think you breathe until he responds,
“Not at you, doll.”
Well, shit. You don’t wanna cause any friction between them, especially after the energy Jungkook gave off earlier. It’s still bugging you to hell. “Nothing happened, baby. But he felt really off after y’all left, so.. I dunno. Be careful.”
“I will. But that means I can’t talk when he’s around.”
You bury your head, watching the hours that you get with Yoongi dwindle away. Knowing Jungkook, he’s gonna immerse himself in whatever keeps him distracted. So he will most likely be at the studio just as much. “At least you were there today,” you whisper. 
“Mm.”
“Honestly, I didn’t expect that.” 
There’s a breath on the line, and you can tell he’s hesitant just by the way he moves his phone. So when he finally speaks, your jaw goes slack.
“I was there first, doll.” 
He what?
“Wait… You were?” 
He was at your door first? He has to know how that looked, right? Your brother clearly saw him if he was the one to shout, and yet there was no mention of it when the two of you spoke. 
Maybe that’s part of why Yoongi decided what he did. A decision to help you came with consequences he knew were coming. But he did it anyway. 
Your breath is suddenly short. And your head is starting to spin with information overload.
“The plan was to only check for a sec, but he had the same idea. Showed up right behind me.” 
“So… You both heard—”
“Nothing until the yelling.” 
They were there the whole time. Both of them. Yoongi first? Your brother joining him? 
Nope. This is too much. All of this is way too much for one night and your head is bursting at the seams. 
Just another reason why this separation could be a good thing. Other than the fact that Jungkook seems weird and you can’t see Yoongi at all and him and your brother really are more than friends and you wedged yourself right in between everybody—
Information. Realizations. Guilt. You’re spiraling. 
Run.
“I’m, umm. I’m gonna get off now.” 
“You okay?”
Say yes. Say anything but “No. I’m… I don’t know, I really don’t know—This is a lot and—”
“Wait—” 
“I get it and I’ll stay away for as long as you want—”
“Babe, talk to—”
“Bye, Yoongi.”
And you immediately hang up before your dam floods.
He doesn’t need to hear your grief over the past, your regrets of the present, your fear of the future. He doesn’t need to know how pained you really feel dealing with everything at once. How harsh his departure is because this is when you need him most. 
Yoongi: Missed Call
All he needs to know is that you’ll do this for him. Because he would do the same for you. 
And he’s done enough for everyone other than himself. 
But goddamn if this doesn’t hurt like nothing else you’ve experienced before. 
And you’ve been through hell.
Yoongi: Missed Call (2)
Why is he calling? Won’t this just make it harder?
Why does he keep trying if you need to stay away?
Yoongi: Incoming Call
With a heart so busted you don’t know where all the pieces are, you finally reach up to acknowledge his effort. 
And his greeting sends a pang through your chest.
“Knew you’d answer on the first try.” 
Sniffling, you say his name so, so softly.  
“You didn’t let me say bye.”
When you don’t respond, he trudges on.
“So now, you get to hear the longest good night ever.”
Huh? 
“And no hanging up this time.”
What the heck does he… mean… 
As soon as you hear the light strums of a guitar, your heart shows signs of life. And you let everything out while he gathers the scattered shards with every chord. Every note. 
Every second he doesn’t say goodbye.
A river flows into your pillow until it runs dry, and the Moon outside your blinds casts a silver blanket over your defeated shoulders.
And it’s only when you and your phone are dead to the world that the Sun steps in to peel it off with calm palms.
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For the first time in a long time, you plan a sleepover at Taehyung’s. 
And after getting a rundown of what happened, he completely agrees that you both need it.
It’s been a minute since you slept over there, and rolling onto his driveway makes you remember the first time it happened. 
Your brother was outright flabbergasted you even asked. 
But after some arguments from you and very clear energy from Tae, your brother waved you off and just demanded no funny shit better happen. 
And you’ve spent so many nights over there since then that Taehyung’s one of the people he calls if he’s looking for you. 
Being reminded of something else interesting, you think back to the first time you went to Yoongi’s, spending enough time there that he ended up on the list of people to call about your whereabouts. 
As hot as he was picking up with a cheeky arm around you, it was surprising he was on that list in the first place. 
Well, maybe not. They’re best friends. But why would he—
“You just gonna waste gas in my driveway or what?” 
Snapping your head up, you see Taehyung looking bored, hands on his hips and wearing the most comfortable clothes you’ve ever seen. 
Your glare in return is empty when you finally get out, circling around to grab your stuff and take-out from the passenger seat. 
“You’re lucky I like you,” you joke as he goes to grab the food. Locking your car, you follow his grumbles into the house with a laugh, feeling a little okay already.
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“How’s Jimin?”
“Still complicated, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss.”
You sigh before you poke your noodles, knowing you have quite the catch-up to get through. If only your attempt at procrastination worked.
“Eat,” Taehyung orders before taking a hearty slurp of his meal. “I don’t care if you’re sad, this wasn’t cheap.” 
“Excuse you.” He’s lucky you resist the urge to fling saucy food all over his shorts. “Also, I paid for it, the hell?” 
When your friend blows air through his nose, you scoff before silently doing as he says, pouting at the beginning credits onscreen.
“How long has it been?”
Ah. That’s a good start. 
As you peer down at your food, emotion and appetite abandon your palate,
“A month.”
“...Damn.” 
Taehyung already knows all about what happened. But even if he didn’t, you think he would’ve caught on to your increasingly depressing song choices. And the way you barely watched Yoongi during the last intramural game. 
“How’s the new job, though? Good distraction?” 
That you can talk about for hours. “Thank fuck it is.” 
“That’s good, at least.”
As your meal progresses, you continue to catch him up on everything, including the way night calls are the only thing keeping your hopes afloat. 
Because Yoongi was right. Ever since the party, weekdays have been radio silent, and you soon got accustomed to looking forward to his late texts saying he’s home.
And you’ve been okay with that. Landing the job and getting swamped with training has kept you busy, and your friends have been a wonderful salve for persisting wounds.
It just stings when you know the studio is close by. Because even though Yoongi extended invitations before, you avoid that area like the plague.
“But enough about me,” you huff. “Still complicated with him, huh.” 
If Taehyung knows you’re too sad to keep talking, he doesn’t show it. His response simply comes after a few chews. “Yeah. But”—he swallows—“Not in a way I’m mad about.” 
“What do you mean?” 
Taehyung settles back into the sofa right as a ball of fluff hops on, and you watch the movie roll by while he gently orders him to get down. “He’s not as flaky. We just haven’t really labeled anything yet.” 
That’s surprising to hear. Tae doesn’t strike you as the labeling type at all, so your question is genuine, “Do you need one?” 
A huff is what you get in return, and you can hear the smile in his tone. “He seems to want one more than me. Which is why I don’t get the hesitation.” 
“Mm.” 
That makes more sense. Knowing what you know about Jimin, you aren’t shocked he would be conflicted about something he really wants. 
Why he’s skirting around the point is the question. It’s clear to you that they would be so cute together. And sickly annoying in public. 
“Maybe that’s a good sign,” you blurt, roping your friend’s gaze and attention. Spotlight on you instead of the characters bustling about his television, you smile. “It’s like he’s scared because he cares about your feelings.” 
Not unlike what’s happening between another pair of friends you know.
Taehyung blinks, and you’ve always liked the way curiosity widens his eyes. 
But he’s so quiet that you shift. “What?” 
He keeps staring before biting an incoming smile. Before you can question him again, something brightens his expression. “You’ve changed, you know that?” 
Huh. “Me? How?” 
Your friend just grins before resting his head on the top of his cushion. “I’ve always known you were amazing. But now you look like you know that, too.” 
All thoughts fizzle out before your jaw dips. When you try to present arguments, none materialize, and Taehyung laughs at the way you physically buffer. 
“Not even denying it. I like this.” 
“Shut up,” you finally pout, embarrassed and shy when he laughs again. 
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The rest of the film continues with nothing else but your commentary, and Taehyung clicks out of the queue screen before another one can start. 
“Break? Or what do you feel like?” 
You feel Yeontan’s fluff at your feet. “We can keep going.” 
“Mmk.” 
Both of you contemplate which one to pick when you feel your phone vibrate a ton. And when you see the notification, your heart leaps before crashing back down to the ground.
Yoongi [5:02pm]: Just got booked for another week
Yoongi [5:03pm]: Can’t talk now but
Yoongi [5:03pm]: Letting you know
Right.
You slowly let your hand drop with a sigh, and you can feel Taehyung’s pitied stare without moving.
“I know,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t be upset.” 
“You can definitely be upset.” 
You lift weary eyes to see that your assumption was very wrong. There’s no pity evident at all. 
Only warmth. And understanding. 
“Cus knowing him? He’s probably more frustrated than you are.” 
There’s a pinch in your chest, a sharp one that cuts your breath for a small second in time. 
Him? Being more upset than you?
You only thought about that possibility once, but you quickly dismissed it. There’s no way. 
But hearing Tae say it from a guy’s perspective—and someone that knows how Yoongi can be—gives you pause. 
It just didn’t make sense before because he sounds fine when you call, and he doesn’t really talk much about his own shit unless you ask. Which is strange considering he was fine doing so after your huge breakthrough at his place. Granted, it was mostly about good things.
Does he only hold back when it’s about stuff that stresses him out? That’s not ideal. You’ve told him before to tell you what’s bothering him, so if he’s still hesitant to let you in…
Taehyung’s honeyed voice brings you into the present, 
“What are you gonna say?” 
Blinking, you push your lips together in thought before looking at your phone again. 
If Yoongi really is more upset than you are, then you should tell him something that you would wanna hear from him. Even if you aren’t feeling so hot. 
You [5:07pm]: how’s ur back feel from carrying everyone so hard🥴 
You [5:07pm]: jk its ok<3 you’re getting recognized and it’s about time 
When you send those, something strange happens to your shoulders. 
They’re lighter. 
How is that possible? You’re still sad. 
But your mind seems to clear some junk out, instead feeling a little okay about the whole thing. 
Hopefully Yoongi receives them well. If he doesn’t, you’ll figure something else out. 
Yoongi [5:09pm]: Lmaoo I’m saying. They better run me my check and cover my hospital bills.
You laugh with teary eyes, soul feeling like it’ll live despite plans being pushed back again. 
The lingering sadness remains, but it’s dwindled for now. An afterthought to the slight happiness you feel from lifting him up instead of dragging him down.
Another message slides into the thread before you click your phone shut, so when Tae gets more food, you catch what it says. 
Yoongi [5:11pm]: Fuck I miss you
And your heart beats extra loud, mouth slightly curved and wobbly because you agree but it’s okay, okay, okay. You can both do this. 
You [5:12pm]: i miss you too.. but focus now and tell me all about it later
Of course you want to cry. Of course you want to curl up into a ball and sob. 
Yoongi [5:15pm]: Thanks doll
But just like there’s strength in being strong, there’s just as much strength in being gentle. 
Because as upset as you feel, it’s better if you don’t show it. While you aren’t completely resolute, you push forward in silence. Even if you can’t see the finish line.
The lingering feeling of anxiousness remains; the what-if’s batter your mind from the inside. But you choose to stay optimistic for him, and even you have to admit that’s admirable.
But the yearning still packs a fucking punch.
Your shoulders must be slumping to hell because you feel a warm presence settle against you, slinging an arm around and holding you close. 
The only sound you make is a quick sniffle, but you don’t move as Taehyung reads the thread on your phone. 
“You see what I see, right,” is all he whispers. 
And when you slightly shrug, he leans his head against yours. 
“You will.” 
Nodding, you feel more tears follow the paths of their predecessors, and you don’t move to wipe them away. “You’re a good person, Tae.” 
His chuckle sounds like a hearth, and you welcome Yeontan’s sniffs on your legs.
“Jimin’s lucky you’re even giving him a chance.” 
“Ah.” After squeezing your bicep, your friend reaches down to pick up his baby. “He’s lucky I gave him more than one.” 
“Oh? The luckiest then.” 
“You can do this,” he murmurs. “He’ll be ready before you know it.” 
With heavy eyes, you glance down at your still unfinished food. 
“Maybe you’re right.” 
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One week turns into three. 
Then two more pass.
And Taehyung might be less correct than you thought. 
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“Fuck,” you groan, clutching under your stomach. “Sorry, I’m a mess.”
“It’s okay.”
“At least you don’t have to see me this gross.”
“So?”
“You better stop.” Another eruption of pain shoots through your lower body, and you exhale into your pillow. “This is only making it worse.”
“You got a heating pad?”
A what? How does he know about— 
Oh. Right. 
…You probably shouldn’t tread waters you don’t know the depths of. 
“Yeah. But it’s too far and I’m lazy.”
He laughs in pity but doesn’t show any in his words,
“Go get it, doll.”
Because being reminded of his last relationship also makes you wonder why it ended. And wonder if that also has anything to do with his decision. 
Now hurt in multiple ways, you childishly retort, “You get it.”
“I would if I was there. But I’m not, so you’re gonna.”
“Fine.” You huff into your pillowcase, knowing you’re gonna get up because his perfect mix of support and command is annoyingly attractive. “How much longer?”
Yoongi’s too quiet for your tastes. 
“I’ll figure it out tomorrow.” 
Eyes closed, you’re silent for eons. 
“Okay.”
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To your confusion, you get a food delivery at your office the next day. 
Inspecting the contents of the bag, you’re cautious until you notice a takeout box of mandu under some sweets and a few all too familiar fruits.
And at the note inside, you promptly proceed to the least used bathroom to compose yourself.
Soon.
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Soon and Almost are somewhat similar.
Both can give people a bit of hope. 
But they can also be the most dangerous words to play with.
Because soon is hilariously arbitrary, and you almost believed it meant something good. 
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“Going to Yoongi’s.”
“K.”
“You wanna go? He’s having a few people over.”
You bite down so hard your jaw hurts. “Nah, I already have plans tonight.”
“K. Have fun!”
When the door closes, you keep your eyes on the television.
Arms falling at your side because you know you aren’t going anywhere. 
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On a random Tuesday, you finally get a package you’ve been waiting on for what seems like months, and you rush to your room to check if it’s exactly what you wanted.
When it looks so beautiful, and feels smooth to the touch, you clutch the material in sorrow.
It’s perfect.
And completely useless for the time being.
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Calls have been the one thing getting you by.
But over time, even those have virtually stopped.
It can’t be helped. He’s working far too late into the night for you to stay awake, and is passed out by the time you need to wake up. 
Spending time with friends helps distract from the drift, especially when one of them keeps snapping you into the present, but they’re getting busy, too. 
However. Despite all the obstacles, you keep waiting. A season has passed, yet you stay grounded. 
Hoping, wishing, choosing to believe that Yoongi’s not gonna do the same.
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You accidentally spill your drink.
And you sob. 
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One chilly night, you take more of Taehyung’s advice, going to Jimin’s determined to have a good time. 
But despite the manufactured confidence you had while getting dressed up and the way you were totally fine walking in and conversing with people and the admittedly perfect vibes of the party…
There’s a hole in your chest that won’t decrease in size. 
No matter what you feed it—food, drinks, the compliments of others—it refuses to budge, and this emptiness holds weight. Heavy. Melancholic.
Painful.
As you suddenly find yourself on Jimin’s windy balcony, one with a slightly different view than the one you’ll remain on forever, dull eyes lower to your solo. 
If you forget this one on the railing, too…
Will he finally show up to hand it back? 
A sharp ache spreads as the hole expands, new tears too powerful to ignore. You know your vision swims, but you don’t move to stay afloat at all. 
Three months. 
Ninety days.
Eight million seconds. 
It only took sixty for you to miss him. And it only took sixty-one for you to feel something else. 
How many more will you end up counting? How long until you get to count down instead of up? 
You keep asking yourself that. When you know for damn sure that you don’t want to know the answer. 
A breeze wraps around your limbs as you sip, the chill cutting through your dress and making you teeter in your heels. 
Because it seems like Yoongi doesn’t know, either. 
To the point where it’s starting to scare you. 
Has he been perfect otherwise? Sickeningly. 
But something in you keeps wondering why the wait keeps extending, anxious that he could be flat out stalling. 
Prematurely saddened by the possibility that he’s reconsidering entirely.
It makes sense. At least, more sense than him actually wanting something with you. Maybe this time apart has given him the clarity to realize how rose-tinted this whole situation has been. How unrealistic and laughable.
But that night in his kitchen… 
It’s getting harder and harder to stay positive.
On the verge of defeat, you hold out your phone, clicking around until your finger hovers over a certain Call button.
You can’t.
He’s working. Someone could see your name, if he has it saved as normal as you have his.
Your finger moves a bit closer.
What the fuck are you doing? Stop. Don’t screw up everything you’ve had to endure with one impulsive decision.
But your mind is fucking bad tonight and you have no clue why.
When the screen lights up with the call screen anyway, ice water rushes through because you totally didn’t mean to call and you need to end it now. 
Hold on, it’s an incoming call?
Oh fuck, it’s an incoming call.
Your throat sears as your eyes shut tight. 
How the fuck did he know? How the fuck does he always know? 
Tears burning, you try your hardest to calm the hell down before you answer, wondering why he dubs you his good luck charm when he puts guardian angels to shame.
You can’t even say hello.
“Hey.”
Fuck. Get it together. Gentle, silent, strong. 
“Hello?”
But you can’t. Not this time. Just hearing his voice for the first time in weeks has you crumbling, and that damn hole in your chest is unquenchable. 
As soon as your greeting is nothing but a weak sniffle, his change in tone seizes your soul and squeezes.
Because it plummets.
“Where are you.”
There’s quick shuffling and a door opening.
“What’s wrong.” 
Damn it there’s keys jangling and you can’t help but sob even harder knowing exactly what he’s doing. 
Goddamn it, Min Yoongi. He doesn’t have to go home just because you’re what, sad? Pathetic.
You feel way too many things for this man and it fucking sucks that eight million seconds have gone by after you finally acknowledged them.
However many you get with him now, whenever that may be, you’re not taking a single one for granted. 
“Babe, tell me. Now.” 
“Jimin’s. Outside,” you choke out, sniffling and wiping both cheeks. “But nothing happened, Yoongi, I just—It just—” 
“Gimme twenty. Can you do that?” 
Lowering your head and expectations, you huff in sad amusement. 
Of course you can. Twenty minutes is nothing to you now. You can wait until he’s free. “Guess so.” 
“K. Go back inside and grab a bag.” 
Huh? Knitted brows get aimed at your cup as you question him.
“Chips, doll. Jimin has some in the pantry.” 
That doesn’t answer anything, so you remain thoroughly confused. “I’ll be okay,” you respond after a moment, simply assuming he wants you to replenish sodium. “I’m not hungry.”  
“I am.”
You freeze.
So does time.
And the next three seconds are enough.
“But you better bring the good shit or I’m not letting you in the car.”
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After camping in the only unoccupied bathroom, you finally get a text that he’s somewhere around the corner. 
And your chest has never felt lighter.
Texting Tae, you let him know that you’re leaving and that you don’t apologize to Jimin for raiding his kitchen. When he responds, that’s when you slip out, your departure a mess of crinkling and racing heartbeats. 
If anyone sees you walking out with chips, you pay them no mind. Because you only care what one person thinks.
And seven minutes later, when you see him doubling over at the bazillion noisy bags in your arms, you laugh along at the absurdity of it all.
It’s almost enough to distract you from what he’s wearing. 
But to your credit, you don’t exactly see the damn rips in his jeans until he opens a back door for you to throw your haul in.
As if the black top wasn’t already disrespectful enough. His hair has even gotten longer, and you really, really like the new length.
“Fucking hustler.”
No second is wasted as you grab his shirt, positively melting at the way he doesn’t resist or shy away at all. 
In fact, he does the exact opposite, crushing you against his warm car so fast he has to brace himself. You welcome the way air leaves your lungs, because you’re giving it all to him with each pass of his lips over yours. 
Both of you know you’re outside, in public, somewhere you can be seen. But, mirroring the last time you kissed under a starry sky, neither of you act like you give a shit.
Just like that, everything that has haunted you fades. The worries, the fears, the doubts. It doesn’t matter how many days have passed, because it feels like he never left. 
And you suddenly know Yoongi is summer.
Endless. 
“Get in,” he rasps through a smirk. “Thief.” 
With a grin spread so wide your cheeks hurt, you respond right as your foreheads meet,
“Anything for you.”
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With nothing but the road ahead and him beside you, everything is right with the world.
“You still have to gimme chips.” 
Maybe not quite everything.
Smile ruining your attempted pout, you reach behind your seat to pick a random bag, settling on the easiest one to grab. “You really made me get these just for you, huh? Are you eating?”
“Yes, my love. And I never said that.”
Well. That first sentence will never, ever, ever be unpacked.
As you shakily open the bag, you hope his music hides your shiver, “Such a smartass.”
“You’re the smartass.”
“Don’t act like you aren’t smart, too,” you laugh, tugging down your dress because he has his car pretty cold tonight. “I know you are.” 
When Yoongi reaches to grab some crisps, his blatant stare on your thighs makes you squirm. “Why?” 
“I just… You read.” 
To your chagrin, he laughs in surprise, forcing you to look out the window. 
Which makes you miss the way he turns down the fans. “I’m smart cus I read? How do you even know?”
“You have books under your coffee table,” you answer without doubt as he digs for more chips. “And you don’t have decor just to have it, so…”
He cocks a brow before focusing on the road, licking his fingers and giving you grief. “I moved those, by the way.”
“Em”—you cough—“Embarrassed?”
“Proactive.”
“Huh? For what?”
He can barely contain his spreading curve. “The next time you decide to fuck up my place.” 
Your heartbeat skips as you gawk, and the current song is overshadowed by your playful shouts and tickle attempts. “Oh, bullshit!”
“You soaked—aish—my whole apartment!”
“That was you!”
“No?”
“Yes? I was nice and only got your head wet!”
Yoongi glances at you then, head tilted up in cockiness and wide smirk slicing through your every thought.
And you glitch when you realize why.
Settling back into your seat with arms guarding your shyness, you sniff upward. “Ugh. Whatever… I’m right.” 
He chuckles a bit before making a turn, and the scenery starts getting familiar.
Way too familiar.
Wait, he’s taking you back to your house?
No no no. Why is he taking you there? 
You got into his car fully prepared to go back to his place, consequences and shit be damned. Everything else be damned. One night is all you want right now, and there’s no way you aren’t going without a fight.
All sense of the current mood dissipates when you grip his forearm. “Not there.” 
He flicks his gaze, rolling to a stop at an intersection that’s frighteningly close. And his expression falls when he shifts into park with a sigh. “Babe… We can’t.” 
“I don’t care.”
“I was only gonna bring you back.”
“Baby, please.”
“He’s home—”
“Do you still miss me?” 
He freezes. 
Which gives you a chance. 
Eyes glossy, you use all the seconds you have to say everything you’ve kept to yourself.
Almost everything.
“Because I get it if you don’t. I do. But I really… I really fucking miss you. And not just because of, whatever. But I consider you a friend and fun as hell to be around, and I haven’t”—you inhale, hating how it shakes—“I haven’t been this happy in weeks. And we aren’t even doing anything.” 
Yoongi is completely silent. But that’s okay because you aren’t done. 
“I know you said I wouldn’t see you. But after getting to know you? The real you? …That sucks.” You can’t look at him when his hand slips from the wheel. “I’m not gonna make you change anything, just. Telling you what’s on my mind. Like you said. I’m gonna do that a lot more now.”
He doesn’t say a word as a tear cuts one of your cheeks, and you’re brave enough to look his way again. “But it’s been three months, Yoongi,” you whisper. “Is that still not enough for you?”
Time ticks as you hold your breath, oxygen depleting and lungs nearing collapse as you watch his eyes close. 
You laid everything out on the table. Your words, your thoughts, your pain.
Whatever he decides, though? You’ll respect it. You said what you wanted to say and you won’t take any of it back. If he wants to prolong this, you won’t stop him. If he doesn’t want this anymore… the home in your heart will need repairs, but you’ll live. Somewhat. You don’t know how but somehow. People are like seasons. You’re used to it.
Yoongi’s still way too quiet. 
So, giving up and getting the point, you reach up to open your door.
“Stop.” 
You do. 
And the way he flexes his jaw shoots magma through your veins before he wrenches the car into drive. 
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The universe spins as you burst into Yoongi’s apartment, running, bumping, slamming into furniture until you get thrown against his bedroom door. 
Welcoming the pain, you devour his scorching lips, fingers digging into his hair with a desperation that frightens you. All you feel is him him him, barely recalling the manic drive over and the way he all but busted into his own place. 
If there were any lingering doubts to your question, they’re left out in the chill, not allowed to witness the way he hitches your leg up before pinning you firm with his pelvis.
“Shouldn’t be fucking doing this—” 
You moan at the way his jeans feel on your skin, shivers running rampant when you more than feel his hardness poke through. “Please,” you pant, sticking to your word and ready to tell him what you want. 
“Please what.” 
Everything you want. 
Tugging his head back, your admissions rub right against his mouth, “Choke me. Use me. I don’t care, do it all.”
“Huh?”
A breath whooshes out when he yanks you forward with a growl, and you cannot seem to stop, “Don’t be nice. Spit in my mouth. Make me beg like a fucking slut, I need it.”
All the other times, you’ve seen Yoongi break in different ways. 
But this is the first time you’ve felt him legitimately snap. 
“The fuck.”
Lightning strikes the dark as he slams you backward, teeth clinking against yours when he smothers you with saliva and lust. When he shoves his door open, you stumble back, more unholy plans in mind than he imagines. 
You don’t know what’s coming over you. 
Even as you force him sideways to shove into his rolling chair, the piercing look he gives is no match for your inner storm.
“Babe—”
Impatient, you drop to your knees, the pain nothing to you as your fingers twitch over his zipper. As you tug his pants down with force, Yoongi’s outright shock is another first for you.
“Are you su—”
“Let me do this,” you plead upward, and you feel highly motivated when he doesn’t do a thing except let out a low, gritty hum. 
Grabbing at his cock, you already moan at the way it feels in your palm…
Softly, oh so softly, a large hand closes over yours, and you hear your name in a whisper, haze temporarily receding. 
What’s wrong? Does he want you to stop?
When you ask without a word, Yoongi leans forward to capture your lips, and this gives you a warm sort of deja vu. “You drank tonight, yeah?” 
“Yeah…?” Oh. He totally tasted alcohol. And your frantic behavior. He thinks—Oh. 
Understanding what he’s getting at, you reach up and caress his cheek. “I’m not drunk, baby,” you chuckle. “I just missed you.” 
Again, he looks at your eyes, one after the other. When you say it once more for good measure, he kisses you in acceptance. 
“So are you gonna fuck my throat or nah?”
He falls back with a groan, raking his hair and legs spread wide. “What are you doing to me.”
“This.”
Without prompt, you dive head first, leaning forward to take his tip and swirl your tongue all around. Commanding his every drop of attention, you don’t let up as you tug your dress downward, breasts spilling out before you stand just enough to claim his lips. 
He takes full advantage with a devilish curve, smacking your tits before ordering, “Get the fuck back down there.”
And you obey with a proud smirk of your own, hoping he’s liking this new side of you, too. 
Back between his knees, you worship his length in earnest, swallowing him again and again and lathering him in saliva so your hands slide easily on him, too. When you feel his veins rub both your palms, you hear a symphony of lustful baritones.
“Holy fuck.” 
You quickly discover you can’t get enough. Lapping, sucking, sheathing your head on his cock so far your brain smushes upward. He feels so familiar at this point that you realize you missed him even here, knocking the back of your throat and burdening your tongue with heavenly, sinful weight. 
And you feel more familiar palms grip your head, eyes opening to see him staring down with reverence and something you can’t quite decipher. 
“So fucking filthy...” 
You chuckle, the rumble making him hiss and throw his head back against his chair. 
“Don’t do that.” 
You gladly disobey, laughing even harder around him before releasing with an expert pop to suck on his balls. 
“Fuck!”
There’s a slight squeak before he grips you again, and you can tell he’s slipping by the way his moans devolve into breathy, short hisses. 
Breaking, he pushes your head into his sack before slapping your cheek with his cock, and you hum as it slips back inside your grin. 
Yes yes yes. You want him to enjoy this just as much as you do, steal this time together and run with it, need him to hang on the brink of mania where you currently reside. Because even though he’s saying things, you can’t hear them over the wholly impure sounds slopping out of your esophagus. 
“Fucking hell, baby,” he praises, thrusting up slow as you keep him slathered. “Missed that fuckin’ mouth.”
You finally come up for air, gulping in air and letting him see you in all your panting glory. When you lock eyes, his lidded gaze is loaded, aimed only at your taunting stare.
Drool coats you in globs. Your chest, the floor, hanging from your lips as you stroke him with wet fingers before swallowing another time. 
And you think you can do this until your jaw falls off.
But suddenly you’re hoisted upward before being thrown onto soft sheets, legs roughly shifted to one side as you paint the dark with your hoarse giggles. Before you know it, his lips attack your chest, and he’s setting butterflies wild as you arch in record time. 
“Take this off,” he growls, tugging at your dress with sweaty fingers that you want lodged in multiple places. “No more hiding.” 
You mewl, undressing as fast as you’re able, tearing the garment off and flinging it away. But your heels are still on, and whether he’s just as deft at removing those, too, you’ll need to hit pause. “What about my—”
“Don’t,” he grits with brows pinched, and his next vow is absolute, pure sin,
“I’m fucking you with them on.” 
“Oh, fuck.” Your whine is high as you throw your head back, the next groan guttural as you feel a hand smack the side of your ass with force. Your jaw comes loose, soreness shooting through its curve as your legs are erotically parted to give Yoongi a view of everything. 
You know your panties are soaked. 
You know he’s gonna wreck your shit. 
But seeing him eye the whole mess on display before lifting his hungry gaze your way? You’re damn sure you aren’t gonna survive the night. 
Perfect. 
“Please fuck me, baby,” you let out with a tone so soft that you think he doesn’t hear you. 
He does. “I’m gonna do a lot more than that, doll.” 
You tilt your head, confused and wondering what he means. 
But he ignores your wordless question, sliding fingers along your ankle before holding your leg to kiss that same spot. 
The action alone is enough to rewire your brain, but it’s the way he looks so confident, so unbothered, so determined that has your insides churning with want. 
He plants lips there again before shifting his hand down to your calf, yanking your leg back wide and pulling a tiny help out of your throat. When he shifts to grip your other leg, he growls under his breath, 
“So fucking perfect.” 
“No, you,” you counter with a pout, and flinch what the fuck his slap to your cunt felt good. “Hey!”
“None of that,” Yoongi orders with finality. “Not after all that shit you said at the door.” 
“I dunno what happened there,” you admit, inevitably shy under his commanding presence. Your cheeks sizzle before your teeth grip your lip, temporarily brought back to normalcy at his confession,
“Almost made me come.” 
“Be for real.” 
“Damn serious.” 
The cheshire cat would be jealous of your grin. “Then I should keep going?”
“Uh huh.” He cups your whole cunt, and the possessive nature it exudes pushes a whine against your teeth. “Tell me.” 
“Fuck me like you missed me.” 
A groan rips through his room before he swoops down, lips bruising yours on the landing before he shoves his mouth against your neck. 
Tingles erupt over your skin as he laps at your throat, so hard that your entire upper body slides across his rumpled sheets. When you feel his cock rub across your thong and his jeans grazing your skin, his name flies out of your chest. Moans, sighs, everything in between. 
“Careful,” he warns low before another toe-curling lick. “You won’t leave if I did that.”
“I don’t want to,” you grit in return, reaching to sink claws in his hair and tug. “Wanna stay.”
Strong arms wrap around you before you feel him spread liquid fire up your shoulder, and he reaches to nip at your ear before deft fingers flick a nipple. 
His voice rasps against your cheek, but the words sound reluctant to even leave. “You shouldn’t even be here, babe.”
Fuck. You know that’s true but your heart is rattling like a monster starved. 
“Just tonight,” you plead your case. Because you don’t want to be shooed away before it’s over, but if this is all you get, he needs to do something now. “But if you really don’t want this then please kick me out before—”
“Fuck that.” After greedily tweaking your other nipple, he rolls his body against yours, making you fiend for the weighty cock wedged against you with only thin material between. “Fuck all of that.” 
He rushes upward before nudging your leg over with a strong hand, and you fixate on the way his chains hit his chest. Just like always. “Don’t move.”
You don’t even get to breathe twice as he drops from sight, and you yelp to his roof as soon as you feel teeth nick your inner thigh. At your flinch, you feel him grip your leg with force, ordering you even harsher,
“I said. Don’t move.” 
“But—Yoongi!” 
You don’t notice him yank your underwear sideways before flattening a hot tongue against your folds, sucking so good you have to back away from the stimulation. Immediately, both your legs are seized before he tugs you back to him. 
“Uh uh.”
And he keeps your legs apart before diving deep, and you’ve never devolved into a quivering mess so fast in your goddamn life. The way he licks, sucks, kisses just where you need—everything sends thunder through your chest, lightning across your cunt, rain into your eyes. 
You can do nothing but squirm, squeals and whines and high moans leaving arrowheads in his ceiling. 
Holy fuck, did you sound this loud when you worshipped him? Even now, spread wide and willing to give Yoongi the world, you find a moment to be embarrassed in the best way.
If the neighbors hear, you don’t care. They’re gonna know how well he’s feasting on you, how gorgeously corrupt you feel. How you’re his and his alone and ready to scream it to the rooftops. 
When you feel a finger alongside his tongue, the sound you make borders on inhuman. You think it’s his name, but even you aren’t quite sure. 
All you know is that you’re close. Your thighs are burning and your fingers swipe at his locks but he refuses to let you go. “Yoongi—I’m—”
Suddenly.
He stops. 
And every nice thing you have to say to him falls to the wayside. “No no no! Please, fuck—”
The light tap to your cunt makes you quiver, and your chest heaves when he chuckles without pity,
“What’d you say?” 
“Plea—Baby!” 
“Huh?” 
Every fucking time you speak, he taps again. And every time he gets you close, he edges with aggravating control. Again. And again. 
And again.
You exist between reality and fiction, somehow seeing yourself unwinding, winding, spiraling out of control. Words start to form abstract blobs of syllables, your mouth hanging open as he peppers lazy, unbothered kisses on your thighs.  
In your foggy vision, you think you see him stand. And you’re pretty sure he grabs his cock before he’s rubbing his thick head between your folds oh fuck—
“This is what you wanted, huh.” 
Your breath hitches with a whine as you nod.
“You gonna be a good little slut?” 
Oh, you’re gonna be whatever he fucking wants. So you nod again, not without a smile lopsided. 
“Then fucking beg.” 
He smacks his cockhead against your cunt, springing your back in an arch and tugging strings of incoherent speech from your depths. You make hard lines of his sheets as you grip them in both palms, and you don’t wanna know what you’re saying because the way Yoongi’s staring with a smirk has you blacking the fuck out. 
To the point where you’re nothing but a quivering, shaking, restless mess on his bed.
You somehow closed your eyes at some point, because they fly open when you feel his lips on yours, and you tug at his stupidly attractive shirt that he didn’t bother to pull off. “Please,” you whisper, brain floating oceans away. “I need you.”
“Need you, too.” 
He breaks away to grab a condom, and this is when you realize how intertwined you feel because even this distance is too much to bear. You’re spilling nonsense and breathing harsh and you attribute that to the sole fact that you crave release. It’s aching. Consuming. 
Yoongi’s already naked and prepped by the time he positions himself between your sore legs, and you give in without resistance again when he descends on your lips. 
When you whisper his name, he kisses it away, and you briefly wonder why his hands shake running up your sides. 
Finally, finally, finally, he gives exactly what you want, the initial connection stretching you sore because it’s been way too long. And you feel emotional when you don’t even doubt it’s been too long for him, too. 
Because his eyes speak volumes. 
They hold onto your every move, watch your every reaction, hesitate when you blow out air accommodating his size. 
But you lock yours with him when you relax, weakly grasping his jewelry before sliding fingers up his shoulders. When you nod, he pushes in further, both of you sighing in tandem. 
And as soon as you whisper you’re ready, all niceties fly out the window. 
You’re thrusted up his bed with a determined stroke before he sets a pace, and your head kicks back as soon as a hand captures your neck. 
“Look at me,” he commands, and he gives you a light pat on the cheek before squeezing your jaw. “Open up.”
When you do, spit flings from his mouth into yours, and you already sprint to the edge feeling the weight of your heels and the strength of his body. “Fuck!”
You get pat again—rougher this time—before Yoongi goes to choke you a second time. “What do you say?”
“Me?” you pant, tearing the first thought from your throat when he grits it again. “Thank—” 
Fuck, his dick is hitting every spot you need it to. It takes you a second to repeat your garbled guess in full, knowing it’s something you would’ve said anyway. “Thank you.”
“Now swallow.” 
As soon as he shoves inside, your obedience is your undoing. The skies open to welcome you as your body locks, thighs squeezing his taut sides as he moans through your release. Waves tug you unbelievably far, and you almost lose yourself in the swell before you crash onto shore again.
“Such a whore for me,” Yoongi praises, kicking you back to the very first night and making you melt. When you peel eyelids open, you notice his smile matches yours, and the shared, cherished memory smoothens your gravelly laugh.
“Love when you do that,” you admit, shaking your head at your own strange preferences. “Don’t know why.” 
“Me neither.” He spears you again with a cheeky lip bite. “But it’s so fucking hot.” 
Your grin can’t be contained, and this is where you wanna be. Right here. Nowhere else in the fucking universe. 
“I’m ready,” you pant, and he gives you a brief look of affection—which you shatter with force. “Fuck the shit out of me.” 
Yoongi twitches madly inside your core as he expels a pained, breathy laugh. “Goddamn, this isn’t good for me.” 
“What?” 
“Nothing.” He doesn’t waste a second gathering your calves while you ponder what he says. “Hold these pretty legs up for me. There you go.”
When you find the easiest way to do so, you marvel at how shaky and slippery your thighs are, wondering if the rest of you is faring any better. 
It’s not. 
But you can’t dwell on that now because Yoongi is holding on like he’ll lose you, resuming a delicious pace and smacking your hips into his with the most indecent sounds. 
Your whines soon join in, and his hums of satisfaction fuel your ever going flame. Heaven and earth could move and you would remain here, suspended in time as he fills you perfectly with every fast stroke. 
“Feel so good—”
When he leaves your cunt, you mewl before he grunts, “Fucking—Get up.” 
What is he— 
You’re hoisted upward so quickly that you see starlight, not even registering the clanks and shifts of items before he’s spinning to pin you down on a solid surface. Your heels find purchase on the floor but your knees prove unbelievably weak.
What’s—
Oh fuck, are you on his desk?
Your hands retreat until they find an edge to grab, and you moan outright when you feel his fingers slide up your cunt, shoving your thong farther over one side of your ass. 
“Yoongi—”
You feel full in an instant, jaw going slack as he shoves you backwards on his cock, praises washing down your back as he pushes down any arches you instinctively make. 
“Uh uh. Stay like that.” 
“I wanna—” Your words are cut off with a whine as you feel a sting on your ass. “Fuck!”
“There you go.” 
The rock of the desk is so strong that every bang against the wall booms loud, equipment sliding back and forth and making you briefly worry if anything will fall.
But this is the most turned on you’ve ever, ever felt, and you have no fucking clue why.
You wonder if he feels the same right before his dark laugh consumes you.
“Goddamn.” 
Your hands are grabbed before he shoves you forward, letting more of your body lie on the surface so that he can pin sweaty arms at your back. 
Oh, fuck!
Your moans glide across wood as he doesn’t let up, and you don’t even want to know how much drool will exist on his desk when you’re done. Maybe you’ll never be done. Maybe he really will keep you here forever, and you’ll soak his whole—
“Come here.” 
He gathers your wrists in one large palm before reaching to grip your chest, hauling you up and securing you against his body by the throat. 
And you think your soul just left your earthly vessel. 
Pressing you further into him, he grits in your ear, 
“Never fucking kicking you out.” His tight stroke launches you across space. “Don’t even think about saying that again.” 
When did you— You said— Why don’t you remember—
You go limp when he shoves into you again, but your heels wobble and you focus damn hard on staying upright. 
But Yoongi doesn’t give a shit. “You hear me?” When you let out a breathy confirmation, he still isn’t satisfied. A hand pats your cheek before he asks again, “Say it louder.” 
“Yes!”
“Good.”
He drops all talk, pistoning in from behind while you take it and take it and love it. Mercifully, he lets your sore arms go to pin you down again, gritted words and curses dancing with your high-pitched sighs. 
Fuck, his strokes are so deep that you see into the next universe, and you don’t think your mouth has been shut ever since you made contact with his desk. 
Maybe he was more frustrated than you were. He’s using you as stress relief like you intended, and his roughness is a fantastic surprise. 
It’s just what you need. Which kicks you into a whole other level of want and the beast inside you transforms yet again. 
When Yoongi yanks himself out, you’re quick to spin and shove him backward. As he flops onto the bed, he laughs like sin incarnate when you pounce, his hot hands grabbing at your hips and encouraging your behavior in the nastiest way.
“Let’s go then, pretty bitch.”
“You already fucking know.”
“Show me what I’ve been missing.”
“Don’t fall in love.” 
When you sink onto him, Yoongi’s already groaning. But when you start to swivel at a pace that will render you sore, he begins to lose it. 
“Fuck.”
His head kicks back, eyes shut and brows pinched to hell. After holding your waist, he has to slap his sheets to squeeze even tighter, chest marred with red under pretty silver. 
You make sure every rotation is full, slowly rocking with each circle you make and gritting teeth at how fucking big he is.
Soon, his hisses devolve into groans, and he snaps his head back up to slap your breasts—one after the other before gripping your hips so hard you welcome the pain. 
“Fuck, I missed this pussy,” he confesses with husk, and you whine in response as you lower yourself to kiss him deep. 
“It missed you, too.”
Coming back up, you dig one of your hands in his mattress while bracing on him with the other, and you close your eyes in bliss as you arch your tits toward his hungry lips. 
Just like you want, he chuckles in satisfaction as he suckles, lolling his tongue all around before giving your nipple  a hard suck. His noises remind you of lollipops, and you briefly think of a few fun things you could do with those for next time.
But a hand juts up to seize the back of your neck, forcing you to arch in place as he starts thrusting hard. 
“Yoongi!”
“Uh huh.”  
Before you can talk again, his other hand joins in to choke you just enough, and you find yourself teetering on a precipice. Holy fuck, holy fuck, you’re close again.
“You gonna come?”
A frantic nod.
“Then come.” 
As soon as you hear the words, you do exactly that, windpipe released just as you pulse around him incredibly hard. The waves prove tsunamis, and you dangle from their crests before plummeting and tumbling below. Your moan extends as he thrusts erratically through your quivers, encouraging you and digging rough fingers into your hips. 
“Again.” 
Somehow, that’s enough to make your body obey, and you cry out as you flutter around his trembling cock, hearing him talk you through it but not quite understanding what he’s saying. 
Maybe you also choose not to listen because of what you think you hear, and you don’t want to be haunted if you realize later on what you thought you heard wasn’t true. 
The world rotates up as Yoongi sits up, and you sling arms around him as he leans back on his hands. Your breath hitches at the new angle he’s filling you at, and your eyes swirl when he coolly, confidently commands, 
“Again.” 
You can’t you can’t you can’t but you can. Holy fuck apparently you can, and this time, it consumes you so hard your eyes roll back enough to see the past. Past you, insecure and meek and scared to say what they want. 
Oh, if they could witness you now. 
You shudder impossibly hard around him, coated with his deep chuckles and dashing, ego-ridden grin. It’s all you see before you slump against his chest, heartbeat pounding against yours when you can’t feel any bone in your body.
One breath.
Two breaths.
Two hearts.
One night is enough.
“So fucking perfect.”
“For you,” you wisp out, lost in galaxies. “Only you.” 
He can only kiss the side of your head in response, gently lowering you both onto spent cotton and helping you straighten out your muscle-locked legs. When he asks if you’re okay, you can only nod, and he plants another kiss on your temple before sliding off his protection. 
Both of you take time to calm down, breaths heavy from what felt like a marathon. But a much better marathon than the one you’ve had to endure over the last three months. 
When you lie against his chest, you silently thank him for giving you tonight. It’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done with him, but you won’t worry about it. Not right now. Not when you feel more at home here than your own house. 
Your brother is right. Something is definitely missing over there. 
It’s when your pants have relaxed into soft breaths that you nudge your head against Yoongi’s chest, eyes shut in peace as he lazily draws circles on your back. 
And the first words he says in minutes inject sparkles into your eyes,
“I need to re-up this damn cat’s food.” 
Oh, shit!
Your outright squeal is surely coming out too loud but you don’t care. Don’t care don’t care don’t care not when Yoongi just gave away so many different things. 
This man leaned right into the whole thing.
“I knew it!” You proclaim in triumph, smacking his thigh while hearing a very elongated ‘shut up’ at your side. “Tried to hide it from me all these months? Somebody’s getting soft.”
“First off.”
“Uh huh.”
God. If only you both could go on one of those late night shopping trips he talked about before. Maybe you could’ve gotten plenty of things. Like some little cat toys, or extra storage cabinets for your clothes. 
Yeah. Stuff like that. 
“I’m her favorite.” 
Your scoff is immediate as you hoist yourself up, leaning on your hand and regretting the burn in your arm. “Only because you gatekeeped her.”
A soft disagreement precedes a more prominent, “Won’t even matter.”
Yoongi looks so at peace when you stare, and your voice calms to match as it floats down, “You took care of her.”
When he only smiles, you decide that this is how you want him to be all the time. Content and outright glowing, fireflies dancing in his eyes. 
Does he feel at home, too? 
“She was gonna be your surprise,” he finally murmurs. “For getting the gig.”
Heart and tear ducts full, you lower yourself to tenderly press lips to his. And, since it seems to work for you, his forehead is what you decide to kiss next. 
Then you pull away.
Wondering why he’s not smiling anymore. 
“Come here.”
You blink, lying back down to snuggle against his side. When his arm wraps around your shoulder, it's only then that you’re aware you still have shoes on. A clean person, you hope Yoongi doesn’t mind them touching his sheets. 
But maybe it’s a tad too late for that concern. 
“How are you gonna get home?”
Oh, right. You use his chest to scratch an itch in your nose before responding, “I’ll call a ride in the morning. He’ll be out cold until noon at the earliest.” 
“K.” 
“Did I keep you from anything?”
A puff flies out his nostrils. “Kinda late for that, huh.” 
“True,” you sigh, berating yourself for thinking a lot of things too late. “Sorry.”  
“But no, we were finishing up when I called.” 
“Okay… Did I scare you?” You lift your eyes then, because you need to know for sure. 
When he levels a look, you curse at his quiet confirmation. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” 
“S’ok.” 
“I just… It hurt tonight.” Emotion washes over your face before you bury it. “Really hurt.” 
After a light squeeze, Yoongi gently rolls you over, resting his head exactly where your hand clutches your chest. When you move your fingers, he kisses that same spot, and your heart stops. “How about now.” 
Feeling the deepest pain you’ve ever felt in your life, you cradle his head with a whisper, 
“Maybe try that one more time.”
And he does, not looking at your tears as he sits up to peer down the bed. 
When he scoots down to the edge, your breath catches as he holds a heel in sure hands, his back beautiful even with the scars. While he works through leather straps, he starts to speak, 
“I always do, babe.” 
Blinking, you ask what he means as he slips your shoe off with ease.
“Miss you.”
As he tenderly holds the other, you gulp in oxygen to quell the sear around your eyes. “I just… Wasn’t sure,” you admit, voice wavering. 
His hair falls forward when he sighs, and his palms feel way too relaxing to just be taking your heels off. Even now, it feels like he’s revering you. And you truly don’t know how you deserve any of this. 
“That’s my fault.” 
Throat small, you’re swift to reassure him. “No, no. I need to just suck it up. I’m sorry.” 
After freeing your other foot, he rubs it without prompt, and you don’t know how to deal with someone giving you this level of care. 
“Just a little bit longer, doll,” he says, and you admire his profile when he turns. “I’m sorry.” 
“You gave me tonight.” 
When he swallows, you reassure him with all the support you can give, 
“A little longer is nothing.” 
A moment passes by before he finally moves, and you catch a hint of a smile right before he faces his disheveled to hell desk again. 
Deciding that conversation has concluded, you crack the atmosphere with a joke, “You liked whatever happened over there, huh.”
Immediately, Yoongi’s shoulders bob with a laugh before he admits, “Fucking you on my desk? I’ve wanted to do that for months.” 
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He leans forward. “There’s a lot of shit I’ve wanted us to do for months.” 
Us.
Thoroughly giddy and full of life again, you egg him on. “Oh? Like what?”
Finally, he looks over his shoulder with a grin, and you scoff in frustration at his answer,
“What’s the fun in telling you?”
“Ass!”
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While you’re getting ready to shower, he leans against the doorframe of his bathroom.
“We have a game next week.” 
As you fetch a towel from his cabinet, you clarify, “The championship, right?”
“Mmhmm.” 
“I’ll be there,” you confirm, walking away to slip the thick cloth over its rack. “I can’t believe it’s still going.” 
“Same. But there’ve been a lot of delays, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” Your hand feels out the water, satisfied with its temperature. “I meant your win streak but whatever.” 
And you squeal when he rushes forward, shutting the glass with a wobbly thud before he can get to you. When you stick out a childish tongue, you laugh under the spray, curve slowly, curiously, softly fading when he simply keeps staring.
What’s he doing?
You don’t move as he slowly slides the entrance open again, and you don’t dare breathe as he leans inside to kiss your wet lips.
When you tenderly take one of his wrists and pull, he obliges without hesitation, and you take another shower with the man that sets fireworks off in your soul. 
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An hour later, filled with food and laughter—and slight disappointment when you couldn’t find your surprise near his door—you occupy his bed with full bellies and fresh minds. 
As he lies on your chest, you think this is better, because it gives you time to think about things. And tell him about others. 
You finally tell him what all happened with Jungkook, to which he listens without a single word. When you can’t seem to shut up about your job, he doesn’t stop you, and you adore the way he cuddles you under faint moonlight cutting through his window. 
“Oh, wait,” you stop, feeling like you’ve talked his head off by now. “What did you call about?”
“Huh? Tonight?” 
“Yeah.” 
“We finally have a confirmed date. For that album,” Yoongi rumbles against the shirt he let you borrow. “I was gonna invite you to the release party.”
Whoa, what the fuck? “Me?”
He chuckles soft, and you wonder if he can guess how shocked you look. “Yes, you. All of y’all.” 
At least it’s everyone. But at the same time, you still hesitate. “That won’t be weird?” 
“Nah. You can bring anyone you want, so. I was assuming you’d bring your friends.” 
“Ah, I see.”
You didn’t mean to sound disappointed. You truly aren’t. But Yoongi pushes up to comfort you anyway, planting kisses along your skin, your neck, and finally your lips. 
“It won’t be the only one,” he promises. “We got time.”
“Duh,” you giggle. “And I’ll be at all of them. Whether you like it or not.” 
Yoongi regards you before laying his weight back on your chest. And you find it strange how familiar his body already feels. How you’re already attuned to every way his legs fit against your own, or how you would know it’s him solely based on how his chest molds with yours. 
You start mindlessly caressing his hair, fingers weaving through a dark sea of strands before smoothing over its surface. 
And you start to hum.
It’s not really any song, just notes you start stringing together at random. You build up before you dip back down, staying in a comfortable middle range and dancing between similar tones. 
You stop from time to time, trying to figure out what would sound best next and changing up the cadence. Always coming back to a central theme because it’s what you deem best.
And you’re so comfortable that you completely forgot he’s lying right under your chin.
“Shit, was I too loud?”
He just shakes his head, arm pressing a bit more into your side. 
“Not at all.” 
So you keep going, humming more familiar tunes and phrases, softly giggling when Yoongi huffs at the way you drum on his head. 
And that’s how the night goes on, with you at peace and him in your embrace.
Never noticing how the shirt you're wearing collects rain.
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When dawn breaks, you part with one final, heavenly kiss. 
Yoongi watches until you get in the ride he politely called for you, and you spend the whole drive with eyes filled with light. 
You can do this. Just a little longer, he said.
For him, you can do anything. 
But when you get home, your brother occupies the foyer as soon as you open the front door.
And you feel the world shatter and crash at your feet.
“I think,” he states, “There’s something you wanna tell me.”  
���
tbc. :) 
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a ha ha... what do we think/like! | wanna support with a 🍊?
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A/N: i’m so swirly-eyed that i don’t even know what to say here other than i’m sorry for throwing that ending at y’all! busted pt. 2 is gonna be its own huge part at this point so i had no choice but to end it here (originally it was gonna end before they went back to yoongi’s but i love y’all too much dlkfjdsklf)  A/N 2: gonna say this again: enormous thank you to everyone supporting this whole journey, whether that’s liking/commenting/reblogging/messaging, recommending this series to people, telling me how it makes you feel or what it means to you, or even wanting a physical copy of the series like😭 that’s surreal to me and makes me wanna keep working harder.  A/N 3: as far as feedback, i would absolutely love any type y’all wanna give. this chapter took all of my brainpower and the next one is gonna take just as much haahahahdksfks so any encouragement would be wonderful!  ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ three tangerines masterlist ⇥ masterlist 
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2K notes · View notes
moonlightsolo · 1 year
Text
beauty of all things.
summary: joining the military was never on your bucket list. mostly just a fantasy that your parents couldn’t live out themselves. somehow, you snagged a job to study the native people of pandora and were sent to space. after slowly figuring out that the organization you work for is crooked, you decide to escape into the pandoran forest to seek out the omaticaya clan. on the way, you take quite a tumble, and a certain na’vi boy saves your life.
pairing: neteyam sully x human!fem reader
warnings: smut 18+, vvvv descriptive, unprotected sex i'm sorry, slight size kink, squint for breath play, mentions of animals dy!ng, violence, guns (sorry but the reader is a badass), brief uses of y/n, also non-accurate na'vi language but i tried my best.
word count: 8.5k+
note: hello i havent written smut in so long so if its terrible just tell me i did good and scroll !!! thanks ily <3
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the year is two-thousand, one-hundred seventy, and you’ve finally arrived on pandora at the rda base, now named bridgehead. 
the feeling of waking up after six years in cryosleep is indescribable. your brain feels like jelly bouncing around in your skull, the organ thumps in sync with every beat of your heart. 
even a slight movement of your finger feels as if your bones will shatter up your arm.
“calm down. everything will be fine. just breathe.” someone speaks to you. the sound of their voice echoes in your head, making your ears ring as if they screamed directly into your ear drum. 
but fuck, you can’t breathe. 
something covering your mouth and nose is flush against your face, making it hard to take in a full breath. one of your arms lift up, sending a shockwave of pain throughout your body. 
you grunt as you rip the oxygen mask off of your face, taking a deep breath of fresh air. your lungs burn from the feeling, making tears spill from your waterline. your eyes finally flutter open, welcomed by a bright white light above your head.
maybe you’re dead. wouldn’t that be something.
“calm down, private.” a nurse dressed in blue scrubs shines another bright light in your eyes. “reflexes look good.” she talks to another person on the other side of your bed. 
“where am i?” your hoarse voice croaks out, making pain sizzle in your esophagus. 
“you’re on pandora.” 
the nurses don’t waste time to get you ready for your first mission. your bones and muscles are still sore, but you’re required to join some fellow colleagues on a tour on the outskirts of the forest. 
well, what’s left of it. 
your first step outside made you realize that the people you’re working for are making the same mistakes as they did on earth. stripping the planet to its bones, and killing anything in their path just to pocket a dollar.
the destruction of the environment around you makes your heart ache for the na’vi and the native animals. the area is barren and dry from the wildfire they caused when the first group of ships arrived last year. 
you couldn’t help but feel slightly emotional, completely regretting letting your parents make this decision for you. 
you reluctantly follow the group, the trees and vegetation growing thicker as you trek farther into it. 
you didn’t know there could be this much green on a planet. the exotic flora fascinates you, how it glows and interacts with the world around it. 
“hold up.” the guide of the brigade raises his hand, all of the soldiers halt in their steps. an animal that resembles a much larger deer strolls from behind a large tree, grazing on the grass. 
from your studies, you recognize it as a hexapede. you go to step forward to admire the creature, but you can’t help but notice your lieutenant move his hand to his gun. 
he snickers and lifts his gun to aim at the animal, “watch this.” he cockily smirks at the other male comrades next to him, who grin excitedly at the mention of a hunt. 
before he could pull the trigger, you turn your back and cover your ears. the ring of the bullet being fired makes you jump. tears instantly burn in your eyes, seeping from your eyes and trailing down your cheeks. 
your breath shudders in your chest, heart breaking for the animal that just lost its life for some sort of game. 
“look at her.” some of them chuckle as they pass you. 
another soldiers walks by, hitting you with his hip which causes you to fall to the ground directly on your ass. the wet dirt seeps into your uniform, soiling your pants with a mud stain.
“get a grip. you need to toughen up, princess. it’s not going to be castles and rainbows out here.” the lieutenant spits out at you from above, face red with anger. 
you flinch, shoulders rising higher to your shoulders with every insult thrown at you. the laughter from your comrades makes your anger and embarrassment grow stronger by the second. 
you slowly stand to your feet to follow them, facing screwing up in pain with every step. you decide to walk farther behind them since you would rather be eaten by a predator then have a conversation with any of them. 
the rest of the day was filled with indoor training, lectures, and meetings with the big guys. all they yell about is reprimanding the na’vi, and if we see them, we shoot to kill. 
somehow, every single person in the room seems to be too excited to go out and hunt them- everyone except you. 
the thought makes you queasy, like you could vomit at the thought of using violence against them. 
back on earth, you studied the omaticaya people for years. the last thing you want to do is to hurt them. 
every day is the same. training, lectures, and numerous meetings. the rda somehow created their own avatars, and are using them against the omaticaya people to take down jake sully. 
it’s already your fifty-seventh night on pandora, and it feels as if you’ve been here for months. every day, the heavy feeling of wanting to leave grows heavier in your chest. 
the thought looms above your head like a dark storm cloud, following you around everywhere you go. 
tonight is the night you decide it’s time to leave. you’ve seen and studied enough of the forest to know how to survive for a few days. 
all you know is that you need to find this jake sully everyone is talking about to warn him about everything. 
you’ve already packed a bag full of non-perishable food and water, a fresh pair of clothes, ammo, and a poncho for the rain. the pistol you stole from training is tucked in the waistband of your pants. you would rather not use it, but if it came to surviving you would have to. 
taking a deep breath, you crack open the door to your quarters. you look down the long corridor of the dormitory, seeing that the coast is clear. 
you flip your hood onto your head before stepping into the hallway. you keep your head angled down so the cameras can’t get a glimpse of your face. 
you truly can’t believe you’re about to do this. you’re honestly stupid. how will you ever get past the guards? you mentally battle yourself to go back to bed and plan this out more, but you’ve already gotten this far. 
once you get outside, you pull the full-face oxygen mask up from where it was hanging loosely around your neck. you truly start to believe you actually might get away with this. 
you take another deep breath, “you got this. you can do this.” you give yourself a little pep talk, before scurrying behind a wall. 
you peek your head out to scope out the area. there’s the gate that leads to the outside and it’s guarded by one guy. it’s only one guy- well, one big guy.
you press your back against the wall you’re hiding behind, looking up at the dark sky that sparkles with stars. you take another deep shaky breath before stepping out and heading straight towards him. 
your eyes dart around the area to make sure nobody else is coming. you slyly bring out your knife that sits in a sheath connected to your belt. 
“hey! you’re not supposed to be out here.” he shouts loudly at you, forcing you to pick up your pace towards him. 
“hey! what’re you doing?!” he goes to grab his gun, but before he could, you lift your heavy boot up to kick in his knee. a loud crunch sounds from his leg, making the man fall to ground with a loud yelp of pain.
before he could cry for help, the blade of your weapon is pressed against his jugular. 
“scream, and i’ll kill you.” you hiss at him quietly, eyes still looking to the side to make sure nobody is coming. 
“give me your keycard…now!” you tighten your grip on him, pressing the blade into his neck. he grunts as his hands scurry to unhook it and reach it up to you. “you sick fucking bitch.” he seethes out through his teeth. 
before you grab it from him, you land a blow to his temple with the handle of the knife. sending the man to the ground unconscious, “douchebag.” you grumble as you bend down to swipe the card off the ground, pressing the plastic key to the scanner. 
the gate beeps green, and slowly clicks open as the multiple bolts unlock. you push through the gate, slamming it shut behind you before you break out in a sprint down the steps and into the dirt. 
the buildings behind you begin to blare sirens, red lights flashing into the sky. they must’ve found him. “fuck, fuck, fuck!” you whisper to yourself, picking up your pace as you dash to the tree line. 
the forest in front of you is dark with no sign of life nor light. you continue sprinting, jumping over logs and hopping over puddles. before you know it, you’re surrounded by vast darkness and the base is no where in sight. 
you slow down, leaning against a tree to take a breath. you can’t believe you did it- you actually escaped from that hell hole. 
your eyes squeeze shut as you breathe slowly, attempting to slow down your heart rate. “eywa, if you’re there. please don’t let me die.” you speak out into the air desperately. 
when you reopen your eyes, you can see absolutely nothing in front of you. that cues you to grab your flashlight from your pack and to begin your hike. 
you have no idea where you are going, but from all the intel you overheard in all those meetings you know that their base is somewhere in the hallelujah mountains. 
you fish through one of your pockets in your cargo pants, finding the map of the surrounding area. your eyes locate bridgehead, the coastal rda city, and then the mountains. 
“holy shit. that’s a long way.” you grumble to yourself as you continue walking forward. 
crack!
you stop in your tracks to spin around in a three-sixty, shining your flashlight every which way. another loud crack sounds from behind you that seems even closer than before.
“fuck this shit.” you spit out and take off in a run again. you weave and bob between large tree trunks and leap over fallen ones. you need to find shelter and wait for the sun to come up for the last two hours of nighttime. 
you’re thankful that training helped build your stamina because if you couldn’t run for more than five minutes, you’d probably be dead already. 
once you slow down, you realize there’s a clearing to your right. as you grow closer, you realize it’s an old hut- specifically an rda scientist pod. your eyes scan the area for any possible danger before stepping out into the open. you keep mind to where you step, making sure to make as little noise as possible. 
you notice the pod is overridden with vines, and the windows are shattered. as you step inside, grass cracks under the sole of your boots. you wince from the noise, peeking behind your back to make sure you’re still alone. 
you decide to sit down in one of the non-smashed-in avatar capsules, taking a deep breath. 
wow, you really did it. you’re now a fugitive of the government. 
unbeknownst to yourself, your mind is more exhausted than you thought. you take a few gulps of water, before leaning back to finally (sort of) relax. before you know it, you’re fast asleep. 
a few hours later, you’re awoken by a loud screech of some sort of animal. gasping and automatically reaching for your gun, you pull it out and aim it in front of you through the broken window. 
the sun has already risen, streaming through the  numerous trees surrounding the opening. you take another deep breath to slow your breathing, realizing there’s nothing to worry about. 
you decide it’s time to get up and eat something, but you would rather begin your very long trek to the mountains instead. so you grab a granola bar and start heading north. 
you pull out the map and your compass, following the directions and hoping you’re going the right way. “god. i’m so stupid.” you whisper to yourself as your head lifts up to see where you're going. 
you didn’t realize where you were walking since you were too busy paying attention to the map. suddenly, your feet are taken out from under you and you’re tumbling down a rocky hill. 
unfortunately, you land in a large pool of mud at the bottom. sticky, heavy mud that gives off heat.
the air in your lungs feels like fire, oxygen fuels the embers deep in your chest. your throat constricts as you wheeze, the wind is knocked out of you, and it feels as if you’re suffocating.
mud splashes up on your face, the feeling of the thick dirt sucking you under makes you panic even more. another wheeze punches your chest as you attempt to climb out of the pit, but to no avail. the mud continues to suck you under the surface as your nails dig into the grass in attempt to keep your head afloat. 
you let out a loud cry once some oxygen returns to your lungs, but you can feel the mud compressing the tube connected to your backpack. some of the air from outside is slowly leaking into your headpiece, making you feel extremely lightheaded. 
“please..” you squeak out, eyes squeezing shut as you slowly start coming to terms with your death.  
unsure if you’re hallucinating or not, you hear muffled commotion in front of you. your eyes flutter open, vision blurry and unable to make out the large figures. “help.. me.” you softly call out, lungs compressed by the weight of the mud.
suddenly, hands are gripping any part of your exposed body they can get to and you’re being pulled from the pit and laid on the plush grass. you instantly gasp for air as the oxygen returns back into your mask, chest heaving as it alleviates your dizziness. 
a coarse cough pummels your chest and you roll over on your side, sucking in fast deep breaths. 
“hey, hey… it’s okay.” an accented voice speaks to you before going back to speaking in a foreign language. seemingly, talking to someone else who responds in the same language.   
your eyes finally open to see your rescuer, praying to every supernatural god that it’s not the rda. 
to your surprise, a very blurry na’vi is crouched in front of you. his golden eyes are wide with fear that glance between you and the person behind you. 
your breath gets caught in your throat at the sight of him. a very beautiful one, at that. he’s adorned in handmade beaded and weaved garb. his head is covered in very tight knit braids with various decorations tied in them. 
you can tell that he’s arguing with the person behind you in their language, almost making out a few words. 
dangerous… human… girl… listen to… dad…?
before you could say anything to him, one of his arms slide under your head and the other slides behind your knees. “don’t worry. we are going to help you.” 
his warm skin gives you a sense of relief as he holds you close to his chest while he starts to run. blinking through your blurry vision, you notice another blue figure following closely behind you. 
you float in and out of consciousness, every breath you take squeaks as if you have an instrument in your lungs. your head is sitting in the crook of his elbow, now watching mountains flash by. beside you, is another boy flying a banshee. 
are you in the fucking air right now?
“please don’t die. stay awake for me.” the one holding you mumbles, making eye contact with you before your eyes flutter shut again. 
something burns your nostrils, sending signals to your brain to wake up. “ah!” you yelp, going to sit up but the pain in your body causes you to fall back down in a crying mess. 
once your watery eyes finally open, you’re greeted by another pair of yellow eyes, but this time it’s a girl- not the boy who saved you. “hi, i’m kiri.” she smiles wide. her face looks quite familiar. 
“don’t tell her your name, skxawng.” someone scolds from somewhere around you, which just makes her roll her eyes. it’s another boy, but not the one who saved you. 
“where am i?” you rasp out, looking around at the room you’re in. it’s almost like a makeshift hut with a strong smell of herbs and smoke.
“i can’t tell you that, but just know that you are safe.” her hand gently runs down your hair, making you tense up before relaxing. her entire presence calms you down, there’s just something about her. 
“i think you might’ve broken one of your ribs, and you definitely have a concussion.” she sits back on her heels to grab medicine that’s laid out next to her. 
“i still think we should get mom and dad.” she chirps, eyeing someone out of the corner of her eye as she crushes something in a mortar. 
“if we tell dad, he will kill us for bringing her back here, and then mom will skin us afterwards.” the same voice sounds from the corner of the room. 
you can’t help but attempt to lift your head, but kiri’s hand presses on your oxygen mask to keep you down. “stay.” she reprimands you as if you are a dog.
you groan in annoyance, but continue to stay put as she scoops up the medicinal paste she was grinding and swipes it on your forehead and temples. “to relieve your pain.” she smiles at you and nods. 
wooden beads clink together as someone enters the room, “is she okay?” 
there he is. 
“yes and no. she’s in a lot pain but she will live.” kiri speaks to him as she continues rubbing the paste on different points of your body. like your neck, wrists, and numerous pulse points. 
the paste gives off a cooling sensation, almost making your pain go away instantaneously. this time, you refuse to listen to the girl. you swiftly sit up to look at the boy, teeth gritting together from your aching muscles.
your movements makes him take a step back, almost like a scared puppy.
“look, i’m not going to hurt you.” you glance at all three of them before continuing, “i’m here to warn your people about what’s coming- what the rda is planning next. i need to talk to jake sully.” 
once you mention that name, they all pause and look between each other with an ‘oh shit’ gleam in their eyes. 
“what do you know about jake sully?” the older boy stands up straight with his shoulders back, his height towering over you intimidatingly.
“i know he’s your eytukan, and your toruk macto. so that means he’s in charge, right?” 
“why do you need to warn him?” the younger boy stands up from behind him, walking forward to face you and await your response. 
“the rda. you know, the mercenaries. they brought in avatars, but they want to kill him and everyone that comes in between them.“ your voice is strong as you lay out the facts, but on the inside you’re nervous as hell. 
“how do you know you weren’t sent here to spy on us?” the older one speaks again. 
“neteyam. i don’t think she—.” kiri gets cut off by his hand raising for her to be quiet. 
neteyam… so that’s his name. 
he sighs at his name being mentioned. obviously bothered by it as one of his hands come up to rub the bridge of his nose.
“i promise i wasn’t sent here. i came here looking for jake because i just… couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. trust me, please.” he takes a second, almost as if he’s deep in thought. 
“i’ll relay the information to him, but i can’t let you be seen by our people. they won’t react well.” he mumbles, “they don’t trust humans that come from where you’re from.” 
“lo’ak, why don’t you go get her some food?” neteyam looks back at his brother who throws his hands up in annoyance, “and kiri, why don’t you clean this up so nobody wonders where you are?” 
kiri grumbles under her breath as she packs up her medicine and herbs into a pack to leave alongside lo’ak. 
and then there were two…
thankfully, neteyam sits down in front of you with his legs crossed- instead of intimidatingly towering over you from above. your eyes travel over his body, admiring the color of his skin and the stripes that adorn him, “so what’s your name?” 
“i’m y/n.” you respond with a smile, “i’m guessing you’re neteyam?” you almost let out a laugh, which makes his lips quirk up a bit. 
“that’s me.” he shrugs with a shy grin. his fingers tap gently on his knees as he looks around awkwardly. 
“how do you know english so well?” you question, making his pointed ears perk up. you watch how his tail curiously flicks behind his body. 
“some of the scientists that work here. they’re humans… the good ones.” he quickly adds, his glowing eyes watch your every move.
“thanks for saving me back there. ya know, like in the mud and stuff. i probably would have died if you weren’t there.” you breathe out, almost as if you’re slightly embarrassed by the situation you got yourself into. 
“i will be honest, i was kind of scared of you. i didn’t know if you were one of the 'good ones', but i couldn’t just leave you there. i’m a gentleman, you know.” a cocky little grin tugs up on the corner of his mouth. 
a deep shiver runs through your body from his words, feeling heat rush onto the apples of your cheeks. for some reason, this na’vi boy is way too charming for his own good.
something stirs in your belly, a gut feeling to keep prying at him slowly. maybe you’ll get to know him better.
“so how old are you?” you ask out of pure curiosity, not for any other reasons…
neteyam slightly stiffens at the question, eyes squinting at you for a brief moment before softening. almost as if he was deciding what to say, “i’m twenty.” he states simply with a blank face.
“i’m nineteen.” you blurt it out, even if he didn’t reciprocate the question. 
neteyam smiles and goes to answer, but lo’ak bursts through the beaded doorway with various foods in his hands. he dumps it on the bed in front of you, bowing like a servant. 
“bon appetite.” he grumbles sarcastically before turning around and heading back out of the room- but not without purposely bumping into neteyam with his hip.
“what’s up with him?” you almost laugh as you rummage through the exotic fruits in front of you. 
“that’s my brother, lo’ak. he’s an ass.” he shakes his head with a laugh, his braids swing on his head as he does so. 
you go to pick up a bright pink fruit to bite into it, “wait! don’t bite it. you cannot eat the skin.” he crawls toward you, unsheathing his knife from his waistband. 
“what’re you gonna do? stab me?” you ask playfully which makes the boy smirk at you, “yeah, i might as well. it’ll keep you from asking anymore questions.” 
his response makes you laugh and shake your head. his large hand wraps around the fruit to take it from you, slicing around the center to follow the seed in the middle. almost like a giant pink avocado. 
he lifts the top off, and there sticks out the oblong seed sitting inside yellow pulp that looks disgustingly delicious. “so all you have to do is suck on the seed…” he trails off, bringing the fruit to your lips. you pull the oxygen mask off your face, holding your breath. 
“and pull it out with your teeth, then you can drink the inside.” his voice is breathy as he watches your lips wrap around the seed to lick off the extra pulp stuck to it. you can’t help but tease the boy by looking up at him through your eyelashes, which makes his breath evidently hitch.
neteyam gulps as he watches you pull the seed out with your teeth, before you take the fruit from his hand to tip the fruit back to drink the inside. 
you pull the mask back over your face, looking up at him with a little smile. “that was delicious, thank you. it kind of tasted like vanilla pudding.”
his eyebrows furrow, “pudding?” he questions. 
“oh yeah. it’s from earth. like a sweet, thick textured milk. it’s yummy, but not good for you.” you lean back in the bed you’re laying in, stretching your arms above your head. 
neteyam‘s heart beats a little faster as he watches your shirt slowly hike up to reveal your belly. 
“so who’s bed am i in?” you smile softly up at him from where he’s sitting the end of the bed, shaking him out of his trance. 
“mine. this is my… erm- kelku.”
“oh, your room?” you smile at him and he nods, “yeah, m'sorry i didn’t know the english word.” 
“don’t be sorry.” you shake your head at him, still smiling away, “does your kelku have a bathroom i can use?”
neteyam grins at your use of a na’vi word, “ah no, but… i can take you to get cleaned up. you just might have to wait until sunset.” 
you overly exaggerate a loud sigh, making the glass fog up but you can’t help but still smile at him so he knows you’re not really upset. “okay fine..” you grumble sarcastically as you sit back up with your legs crossed. 
“they really made more avatars, huh?” neteyam asks. 
“and they’re dangerous and were created solely for combat. i don’t want to see you and your family get hurt. all of you have already gone through so much.” you mumble, eyes falling down to your hands sitting in your lap. 
neteyam reaches out to lay one of his hands on yours, completely engulfing your lap with it. the soft touch makes your eyes raise to look at him, “you… are brave.” he nods his head along with his words. 
you couldn’t help but beam, a sense of accomplishment filling your chest. “thank you.” you turn your hands up so your palms were against his. you carefully wrap your hands around his, holding his one hand with both of your own. 
“you put your own life at risk to help us… to let us know we’re in danger. so i thank you.”  his fingers curl in to hold onto your hands with a soft smile curling onto his lips.  
something in you urges you to leap forward, to rip this goddamn mask off and kiss this boy to show your appreciation for his kindness. 
it seems as if he’s feeling the same way by how he is looking at you. his big round eyes glance over your lips before returning back to your eyes, his chest is picking up pace from his rapid breathing. 
the sound of beads rustling snaps both of you out of your mutual fascination with each other. “just coming to check on her.” kiri walks forward with her hands on her hips. 
“and what are you two doing?” she looks down at your hands wrapped around each other, making neteyam jump back and stand swiftly to his feet. you can’t help but notice his braids swing wildly with every move.
“i- um…” he points at you then scratches his head, “i’ll be right back.” he bolts out the doorway, leaving you silent and shocked. 
“boys.” kiri sticks out her tongue in disgust as she bends down to your level to check the paste she smeared on you. “seems like your body is reacting to it well. are you feeling okay?” she looks up at you.
“yeah. i actually feel completely fine. a little sore, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary.” you laugh, which makes your ribs ache. 
“then you didn’t break a rib, but just bruised yourself.” she hums as she stands up to her feet.
“you need to get cleaned up. you’re covered in mud.” she looks over your body, her nose scrunching up at the sight. 
“oh yeah.. um neteyam said he would take me during sunset.” you awkwardly laugh as you gnaw on your lip. 
kiri slightly side-eyes you, before shrugging. “okay... then. get some rest, i’ll have neteyam come to you when he’s ready.” she comfortingly rubs your shoulder before walking out. 
you let out a groan before falling back against the cot, rolling onto your side with a slight wince from the dull pain. 
your body refuses to fall asleep, unable to get comfortable from the curiosity of wanting to see what’s outside of your room. you decide to just peek, it won’t harm anyone, right?
you quietly slide out of the bed and tip toe to the beaded doorway. your hands move them to the side so you could get a good look. it’s nothing but rocky wall and the backside of another hut, which is disappointing. 
you slowly creep out from behind the beads, looking around to make sure nobody can see you. 
you press your back to the outside of the hut, sliding across it to the front to look on the other side. before you could step out, a very large hand presses against your mouth and an arm wraps around your waist to hoist you up. 
you let out a yelp into the palm of your captor, kicking your legs once they leave the safety of being on the ground. “shh, shh… it’s just me.” neteyams voice whispers next to your ear. 
your body relaxes as he turns around to walk back inside of his room to put you down. you turn on your heel to scold him for scaring you, but he starts first, “i was coming to get you so i could bring you to get cleaned up, but you decided you would like to escape now, huh?” the tone of his voice seems agitated, and his breathing is quite fast. 
“anybody could have seen you! my parents could have seen you! they would have tried to hurt you. you’re not trying to leave, are you?” he slightly whisper-yells at you, now obviously frustrated. 
you’re a bit taken aback by his demeanor, “look, i’m sorry. i wasn’t trying to leave, i just wanted to look around. ya know… see what it looked like.” you sheepishly speak out. you can feel your heart rate starting to pick up. 
“i don’t believe it. are you trying to spy on us?” his eyes are slightly squinted, now starting to pace in front of you. “i don’t want to keep you here, if you’re the one putting us in danger.” 
your eyes blow wide in shock, heart dropping to your feet. “no, no! neteyam, believe me, please!” he stops in his tracks to watch you, “i wasn’t trying to spy or anything, i swear! i’m just a curious person and i’ve studied the omaticaya clan for years. i just wanted to see what it looked it. i wasn’t trying to spy, i promise you!” your voice gets higher as your emotions start to take over. 
neteyam notices your watery eyes and shaky hands, slowly coming to terms that you’re actually telling the truth. “don’t cry.” he mutters out, running a stressed hand through his braids. 
he takes a hesitant step towards you, head angled down to look at you from above. one of his hands cradle your head, tip of his thumb rubbing over your forehead and down the bridge of your tiny nose. “i don’t want to make you cry.”
“i just don’t want…” you sniffle, “you to think of me that…” another sniffle, “…way.” your bottom lip quivers, as all the horrible memories of the rda come rushing back into your brain.  
“i don’t, i don’t. i am sorry.” he bends down slightly, eyes darting over your face in attempt to search for a way to help you. he wishes he could kiss you, to make you feel better. 
“would you like to go get cleaned up? i found woman’s clothing in the scientist’s shack.” he mumbles, gesturing to the pack on his back. 
“oh really?” you brighten up slightly at the sound of getting clean clothes. 
“follow me.” neteyam motions with his hand for you to walk with him. 
he parts the beads for you to walk through with him, bringing you down the rocky hallway with numerous huts filled with other na’vi. “i may have told my dad about you. he wants to meet you after i get you clean.” he nonchalantly speaks as if you know who his dad is. 
“and who’s your dad and why do i want to talk to him?” you question with a laugh. 
“oh… well my dad is jake sully.” he mumbles, “i didn't tell you because i didn’t trust you at first.” 
“hm.. that’s reasonable. i can’t believe he’s your dad though that’s crazy. the big and bad toruk macto.” you giggle softly, covering your mouth with your very dirty hand. 
neteyam can’t help but laugh along, “yeah… big and bad, sure…” he grumbles sarcastically as he walks you up to a clearing. 
there’s a few banshees laying on the rock next to an opening in the floor, and a giant hut in the middle next to the science pods. you can see the tops of a few na’vi’s heads but they don’t notice you thankfully. you can't help but feel excited to finally see one of these in real life, let alone ride on one.
“let’s go.” he jogs toward his ikran, bringing his braid forward to make his bond with it. he easily climbs onto the large animal before he reaches out to you to help you climb on. “we’ve got to hurry. hold on to me tight, okay?”
your arms wrap around his waist tightly, one of his hands reach back to pull you closer by your thigh. “wrap your legs around me. this is gonna be a wild ride.” he chuckles. you can’t help but feel nervous as your legs wrap around his hips, making your body quite literally flush with his back. 
the banshee squawks loudly before nosediving off of the landing, making your stomach do somersaults in your stomach. “neteyaaaaaam!” you squeal loudly as the wind rushes by your ears and your arms hold him in a deadly grip. 
he finally levels out, cackling loudly and throwing his head back. “the way you screamed my name!” he belly laughs as he continues to fly forward. 
“you can’t just drop us into the sky with no warning!” you can’t help but laugh along, arms and legs still wrapped around him tightly like a vise. 
neteyam slightly descends into the forest below, dodging numerous trees and taking turns until he finds where he needs to land. “finally.” you breathe out once you slide off the animal, “i’ve never been so happy to see the ground!” you exclaim which makes him laugh. 
neteyam pulls the pack off of the side of the bird, swinging it over his shoulder and walking forward. you take it as a cue to follow him, hopping over a few rocks that he easily steps over.
the sound of running water grows louder as you keep walking, eyes searching the area for where the sound is coming from. “just up here.” he calls back at you, picking up his pace. 
you can’t help but start running, since his speed walk is like a sprint for you. “god, neteyam. i’m tinier than you. slow down!” 
before you know it, he stops in his tracks right in front of a clearing. “here it is.” he breathes out with a wide smile. 
you duck under his arm, a gasp leaving your mouth from the view in front of you. 
natural pools cascade down a mountain, spilling into each other like a domino effect, creating multiple spouts of water that pour into a lake. the color of the water is cerulean, sparkling in the sunlight. 
“the best thing about this place. is that humans can naturally breathe here.” neteyam states as he admires the small waterfalls. 
“what?!” you shriek in excitement, tugging on his arm happily, “how?!” 
“the mix of gases in the air and in the water create the perfect recipe for humans to breathe, but only for a little bit.” he grabs your hand to pull you forward down the little hill towards the lake.
“you can get cleaned up here.” he drops the bag onto the ground before bending down to rummage through it. “stole this.” he hands you a plastic bottle of old spice body wash from earth, “and this.” he hands you another bottle of two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. 
obviously the stash of a man, but you couldn’t be happier to see soap. you know that you have to smell terrible. 
“thank you very much, kind sir.” you hold the soaps to your chest and dance around happily like a kid in a candy shop. 
“what… are you doing?” he stares up at you in awe, his pearly whites on show. 
“dancing cause i’m happy. now close your eyes so i can get undressed.” you cheekily smirk at him, making his eyes go wide and turn his head away from you. 
you place the soaps on the ground, using your hands to finally take the mask off your face. you take a deep breath of fresh air, the natural smell of dirt and plants filling your senses. 
you swiftly pull your shirt over your head and your pants down your legs, along with your underwear and sports bra.
you keep your eyes on the back of neteyams head, grabbing the soaps and taking a few hesitant steps into the water. 
“oh my god! it’s warm!” you cheer with a surprised laugh, continuing to walk farther into the lake until you reached one of the spouts of falling water. 
you can’t help but put the soap down on a ledge, ducking your head under the natural faucet. you almost moan from the feeling of the caked mud washing out of your hair, “neteyam! this is amazing!” you glance back at him, seeing his back is now towards you. 
aw, what a gentleman. 
neteyam can’t help but turn around slightly to glance at you. you’re waist deep in the lake, standing under the water as you wash your hair. 
he admires your back, watching how the brown water turns to clear as it flows down your skin in little streams. he wishes he could reach out and touch your soft body. 
he feels terrible for looking, but he can’t help himself- you’re just so beautiful. he wants to admire your body like a form of art, not for an object of his own personal pleasure. 
some ways that you move, he can catch an glimpse of the swell of your breast. making his head around turn to stop looking, but something deep in his belly urges him to go in there with you.
the sound of moving water behind you makes your heart skip a beat. something wants you to turn around, to look and confirm what your gut is telling you. 
neteyam is in here with you. 
before you could turn around, a tall shadow looms over you from behind. your hands drop to your side, breathing picking up in pace from his proximity. 
“can i… touch you?” his voice is low, deeper than normal. 
“please.” you desperately respond into the air. 
neteyam’s fingers dance over your sides, sending shivers down your spine. his thumbs gently press into the dimples of your lower back as he bends down. 
you can feel his warm breath ghosting over your shoulder and onto the next one before he finally lays a kiss against your damp skin. “you are so beautiful.” he whispers, which makes you smile. 
“i shouldn’t be doing this.” his voice murmurs in your ear, making your head lull back against his abdomen. “you’re right, but it’ll feel so good.” you look up at him, watching how his face screws up in shock from your words. 
“bad influence.” he snickers, nose scrunching up cutely. his hands quickly take dominance over you, twirling you around so your back was pressed against the cool surface of the damp rock. 
he leans down just enough, lips barely pressing against yours with a featherlight touch. your breath mixes with his, making you lean forward to attempt to kiss him but he pulls back. 
“are you sure?” he asks, which just makes you roll your eyes. your arms swoop around his neck to pull him down to you- finally kissing those damn lips you’ve been dying for. 
neteyam smiles into the kiss as his hands slither up your sides, making you giggle from the soft touches. “does that tickle?” he hums into your mouth, making you nod fervently.
your lips move in sync, tongues wiggling against each other as he deepens the kiss by turning his head to the side. his giant hands cup your breasts, the tips of his fingers reaching just above your collarbones. 
his hands move to your back, snaking downwards under the water to cup your butt with his hands. “your body is amazing.” he groans against your lips which makes your face flush. 
neteyam can feel his back aching from bending down to your level so he lifts you up from your ass, making you squeal as your back is pressed against the wall behind the waterfall. 
“backs hurtin’… can’t bend down.” he breathes out against you, moving his lips away from yours to slowly kiss down your neck. he spends time ravishing your skin with kisses and tiny love bites. 
you gasp and wriggle in his arms, shivers wrack your body from his teeth running over your sweet spots.
neteyam slowly backs away from the wall, shuffling directly under the water which spills over both of your heads but neither of you could care. you’re both completely enamored with each other.   
he shuffles back over to the rocky bank where your clothes are piled up. he gently lays you down on the flat surface, standing tall to admire your nude body from above. 
suddenly, you feel overexposed and you go to cover yourself but he stops you, “don’t do that, tìlor.” 
the little nickname makes you smile, even if you have no idea what it means. 
neteyam leans over you, lips hovering over yours before kissing you softly. so delicate as if you would shatter from the slightest touch. 
“means beauty of all things.” he mumbles against your lips before dragging his lips down your chin. he presses wet kisses down your neck, between your breasts and down to your navel. 
his hands cup under your ass to push your legs up, shins resting on his shoulders. “gonna make you feel so good, ma tìlor.” he repeats the same word that makes you go crazy. 
the feeling of his breath puffing over your core makes you wiggle in anticipation, “please, ‘teyam…” you whine. 
he smiles at your begging before dipping down, swiping his tongue through your dripping folds. “oooh my god.” you gasp out.
neteyam smirks as he dives deeper with his tongue, keeping his eyes on you the entire time to watch how you writhe under his touch. 
his entire mouth fits over your cunt, his tongue flattens against your clit before his lips wrap around the bud to create suction. 
you cry out in surprise, hands flying to his head to grip it as your back arches off of the ground. one of his arms wrap around your hips, right above your pelvis to hold you in place. 
he chuckles against you, which sends another shockwave of pleasure to course through your entire body. 
he can tell by your body language, and the heartbeat he can feel that you’re already so close to release, so he reluctantly pulls off with a pop.
a string of saliva and your juices connects his lips to your core, a giddy smile pulls up on his face. your eyes glance over his wet chin, the look on his face makes you want to push his head back down between your legs. your chest bounces with every sharp breath, now starting to feel the effects of the toxic gas getting to your head. 
neteyam kisses his way back up your body, tongue licking random stripes on your skin. your hands attempt to reach down to untie his loincloth, but they aren’t long enough. 
“so tiny.” he mumbles against your skin before pulling back. he presses one forearm against the rock to hold himself up on top of you, while his other one is working on pulling the thin cloth off. 
your eyes can’t help but bulge out of your head once he throws the cloth to the side. his cock sits heavy between your bodies, blue and striped like the rest of his body. the pink tip is oozing pre-cum, just begging to be licked up. it's almost as if he could read your mind...
“not now, later… wanna be inside of you first.” he swiftly kisses you before he grips the base of his cock to line it up at your entrance. your legs absentmindedly wrap around his slender waist. 
nervousness bubbles in your chest from his size, because how is that going to fit inside of your body...?
“i’ll be gentle with you, ‘promise.” he reassures you, eyes looking over you before leaning down to pepper kisses all over your face. 
he slowly thrusts forward, letting it run through your folds to soak up your wetness. he breathily moans into your mouth from the feeling. the sound could quite literally make you cum without being touched. 
“ready?” one of his arms are above your head as he looks down at you, while the other holds his cock. 
you nod and bring your bottom lip between your teeth, glancing up at him and in between your bodies to watch. your hands rise to rest on his sides, right on top of his rib cage. 
he tantalizingly presses his tip against your entrance, making you suck in a sharp breath. your eyes are wide as you look up at him, but his gaze is too focused watching himself push into you. 
god, he stretches you out. it burns, and you feel so full- overly full. the tip gets sucked in by your entrance, making his face screw up in pleasure. his plump lips part in awe before his eyes look down at your face in attempt to read your expression. 
“good?” he asks softly with a shaky voice, and all you can do is nod. 
his hips push forward after letting you adjust for a moment, your nails dig deep into his skin as a mewl falls from your lips. 
you throw your head back against the rock, face screwing up as his cock completely splits you open. 
he gets about half way before he pulls back out, and thrusts back in to the same depth. “ngh!” you whine, hands desperately clinging onto his body.
neteyam digs his head into the junction where your neck meets your shoulder, biting down on your skin. almost hard enough to draw blood with his sharpened canines. 
“oh yes, ‘teyam...” you moan out as the pain of the stretch slowly succumbs to the pleasure sparking in your lower belly. 
“you feel so good, my girl.” he chokes out, one of his hands cups the side of your head to pull you in for another kiss. 
it was barely a kiss though, mostly just moans and breaths spilling into each others mouths.
neteyam uses your sounds as a suggestion to slightly pick up his pace, his cock going even deeper inside of you than before. 
your body bounces with every thrust, drunken hiccups and gasps bubble from your lips as your nails scratch over his ribs. 
“pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.” your words slur together as you feel the tightness building up in your lower belly. 
neteyam starts rambling in his language, the tone of his voice shows how desperate he is for release. his tail absentmindedly twitches and wraps around your ankles, locking them into place around his back. 
you couldn’t even care at this moment if he would cum in you. the feeling of him inside you has you hypnotized. 
your head feels dizzy, and you can see stars in your vision whenever you blink. the lack of oxygen is getting to your brain, making you feel lightheaded and even more sensitive to his cock ramming into you. 
“gooooonna cuuum.” your voice is high and your words are drawn out. 
“mmmm sran, ma tìlor.” he moans out, his teeth bite down on your shoulder. definitely drawing blood this time by the pain that sparks up your neck.
one last thrust, he pushes almost the full length of his cock inside of you as he releases. you swear you can feel it in your throat. 
he lets out a guttural groan against your skin, his back quivering as he thrusts every last bit of his seed into you. 
you cry out in pain and euphoria, eyes rolling back inside of your head. your body arches off of the ground as you climax in unison with him, thighs gripping his sides tightly and chest pressing into his.
neteyam uses this moment to kiss you as if he would never kiss you again. his lips move intensely against yours, savoring the taste of your lips before pulling his head back to shove the oxygen mask back on your face. 
you instantly suck in a deep breath, chest heaving as your foggy head begins to clear from finally being able to breathe clean air.
neteyam gently rolls over onto his side next to you on the rock, his hand still holding your mask on your face as he attempts to catch his own breath. 
he gently presses soft kisses along your arm, and uses his other hand to touch the bruised puncture wounds on your shoulder. 
“m’sorry. got carried away.” he breathes out heavily, resting his head on your shoulder. 
you take a moment to pull the mask onto your face fully so he didn’t have to hold it for you. 
“don’t ever… be sorry. that was fucking amazing.” you laugh in shock as you look down at him. a big smile is on his face as he stares up at you from his place on your chest. 
you both lay there in silence, the only sounds being your heavy breathing and birds in the distance. “we should probably get dressed and head back since my dad wants to talk to you.” he mumbles a bit sadly. 
you huff a breath out, but nod in agreement. “you’re right.” you mumble, sitting up along with him. 
he ties his loincloth back on himself before grabbing the pack to fetch the clothes for you. he hands them to you with a little smile. 
you hold out the shirt, seeing it’s a very old rda employee shirt and some sweatpants. you stand to your feet to pull the clothes onto your body, and thankfully they fit. 
“oh…” neteyam breathes out disappointedly, “your neck… i’m sorry.” he reaches out to run his thumb over the hickeys and teeth marks he left behind.
“nobody will notice, right?” you attempt to look down at the damage, but from the angle you can’t see what he is talking about. 
“uhm.. right.” he agrees with a nervous little laugh. 
the ride back was full of laughter and light-hearted remarks coming from neteyam about his dad. mostly just preparing you to talk to him, on what and what not to do. 
once the ikran lands on the rocky floor of the cave, you can’t help but take notice to a very tall na’vi man waiting directly in front of you. 
“and that’s my dad.” he whispers quietly enough to you as he helps you off the animal. he lets off a little sigh as you duck under his arms to walk up to jake. rule number one was to let neteyam introduce you first, but you didn't listen.
“hi, sir.” you clear your throat, reaching a hand out for him to shake. jake uncrosses his arms to shake your hand, and you can’t help but notice that he has five fingers. unlike four, like his son.
“i know this is terrible timing, but i promise the information i have is worth while.” you give him a curt nod, standing tall with your shoulders back so you wouldn’t look weak.
jake let’s out a little breath and his eyes glance over your body before raising to stare at his son, “and do you think whatever you did to her neck was worth while?” 
you freeze in your spot, body instantly heating with embarrassment. you slowly turn your head to look up at neteyam. his eyes are wide like saucers as he stares at his dad, his adam’s apple bobs as he gulps. 
when the boys eyes trail over to you, humor bubbles in your chest when you make eye contact. it seems like he’s feeling the same by the way he’s trying to force the smile away that’s slowly creeping onto his face. 
almost like a ticking time bomb, the two of you burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, stumbling into the space between your bodies to lean on each other for support.
oh my eywa, you’re both really in trouble now.
-
tags: @supernerdycookietrashblr @fireflystoughts @eddieslvt @bluealiensimp @aliseaaah
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g-xix · 6 months
Text
🔞Lockdown Vids | [KINKTOBER]
[Harry W2S + WillNE + ChrisMD]
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"Harry, your food's just come!" Pushing Harry's door open, I saw my boyfriend swivel round in his chair, Will, Stephen and Chris cheer on the computer screen in front of him. 
ng Harry's door open, I saw my boyfriend swivel round in his chair, Will, Stephen and Chris cheer on the computer screen in front of him. 
"Ohhh, I don't want whatever you've got me, Stephen." I watched as Harry put his head in his hands, myself laughing lightly before going to tousle his hair and lean down to see the boys on his screen.
"What's this lockdown mukbang's collab theme?" I asked Chris, leaning back and sitting on Harry's lap. I felt his arm wrap around my waist, fingers lightly brushing over my fabric top as he toyed with my tee-shirt.
"Well, today we're going for what we agreed to last time," Chris started explaining his video exuberantly. "Everyone's ordering for the person that ordered for themselves last week-"
I felt my breathing hitch as Harry's fingers dipped under my thin tee-shirt, his fingers gently skimming my stomach and running along the sides of my skin. I gulped, trying to ignore the soft feeling of Harry's gentle touch, trying to focus on Chris's words. It was unclear whether Harry's touch was intentionally sensual, or whether it was just my hormones that had me feeling a tad more aroused than normal, thoughts already going left with just the slightest of Harry's touch.
"W-wow, that's really fantastic, C-Chris..." I spoke, my words jumbling as I tried to piece my words together. "How're you, square."
I laughed and leaned back onto Harry's chest as Will let out an "OI!".
"I'm not a square, you... you..."
"If she was a shape you know damn well she'd be an hourglass, Will." Chris finished his sentence for him.
A blush creeped onto my face, my hips shuffling at the compliment. Harry's hand found a place to sit against my side, holding onto me possessively as if I might leave.
"She might be an hourglass but she's got the face of a wrong'un." Will shook his head. "Not that it's bad, just that it makes me want to do bad things to it."
Chris then started "What, are you trying to insinuate you wanna face fuc--
"Yeah, well she's taken boys." Harry spinned the chair so that he could be seen behind me as well- a sick-of-it expression drawn onto his face.
"Doesn't mean you couldn't take two more though, does it, Camille?" Chris winked with his dazzling smile and signature confidence, only making me more flustered, the blush on my face evident.
"I..." I found it hard to put my words together and tell him I didn't. It was only when Harry squeezed my side with his hand, I found myself able to answer again. "I think you'll find Harry is fulfilling enough as it is."
I leaned behind me to look into Harry's blue eyes, their cornflower calmness and his cute uneven stubble. The straight nose and sweet pink lips which my fingers traced slowly, before I leaned down to press a kiss to his them, setting his takeout bag to the side of his desk and giving him a hug before slowly getting up from his lap.
"I'll be hovering in the background, let me know if you need me." I smiled at Harry, waving goodbye to the boys also before turning and walking out of frame to lounge on Harry and I's bed- all just to hear Will's voice proclaim.
"Goodness, she's just as good-lookin' from behind as well, i'nt she?"
...
"What is it now?" I leaned down so that I was eye-level with the computer screen, smiling at the mildly-drunk boys who looked up happily at the company.
"Cam, we need you to tell us which of us boys is hottest photoshopped as a girl." Stephen said with a completely straight face. I blinked a moment before looking in the chat which Harry graciously opened up.
"Will, you're quite pretty as a girl, aren't you..." I mumbled as I scanned across the photos.
"Takes one to know one, lovely." He responded, raising his beer up before taking a sip. I rolled my eyes. 
"Not a bad jawline, Chris- Stephen, you just look like your sister- and Harry is the prettiest to me." I leaned back, sitting on Harry's leg and resting my head on his shoulder. "How much longer is your recording gonna be, boys?"
"Shouldn't be too long, Cam," Chris responded, checking the clock behind him. "We're just going on a five minute break, now-"
"Good, I need a bloody piss." Stephen ran off of his little screen in a questionable outfit, his even sillier run making everyone crack up a bit.
"I'll be back in a few too, you guys- don't get up to anything without me!" Chris left his setup, Will also doing so just a moment later, leaving Harry and I alone together for a moment. I lifted myself onto my knees, swinging myself around so that I straddled Harry- perching on his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, looking into his happy face- smile round and genuine and eyes crinkled into happy ovals.
"Your shoot isn't going to be too much longer, is it?" I asked, letting a hand run into his hair and play with his soft brunette locks.
"Not too much longer," He hummed. I knew he always loved me playing with his hair- especially when I pulled and tugged at it. "Why'd you ask?"
I leaned into him, pulling an earphone out of his ear and whispering "I want you," in it, before shuffling up his lap so that my core was pressed against his wood through his joggers.
Harry bit his lip at the feeling, smile turning into a smirk as he looked back up to my needy eyes. "You gonna kiss me then, or what?"
I wasted no time in pressing my lips against his passionately, licking the sweet port off of his lips and kissing hungrily, my sensing getting drunk on the feeling of him slipping his hands under my shirt and caressing my tits as he kissed back, groaning as I lowered my hand down behind me and found his crotch, slipping my hand beneath his own waistband as my fingers trailed over his boxers, tracing over the hardening cock beneath the material as he pulled my top off and left me in my bra.
Harry pulled away for a moment to find his way between my shorts, pushing them and my panties to the side as his finger trailed from my clit right down to my core, making me lean into him and shiver at the pleasurable feeling.
"This wet already?" He smirked before both hands landed on my ass, playfully smacking it which caused me to let out a yelp before rolling my eyes. 
"You know you aren't meant to slap my arse at every given opportunity."
"Sorry gorgeous," He said, with a grin so shit-eating it was laughable. "How ever could you forgive me?"
"Just shut up and put that mouth to better use."
"With pleasure."
He flipped me around, bending me over his desk and shoving his keyboard and pens to the side and pushing my shorts and panties down hurriedly, running his tongue between my core slowly before circling my sensitive spot causing me to elicit a laboured moan, my whole body tingling from the stimulation,  and only feeling it moreso when Harry pushed his fingers into my hole and began pumping in, causing me to clench around his fingers and moan lewdly at the feeling of his digits slipping between my walls.
His tongue worked in small tight circles, finding a rhythm with his fingers that had me on to my tip toes, rocking and matching his thrusts with my hips, eyes screwed shut and muscles contracting as my moans became more breathy and desperate as I felt a pressure forming in the bottom of my core.
"Fuck, Harry, I'm gonna- I-I'm -"
He simply groaned into my pussy at my moans, the vibrations hitting my sensitive spot and pushing me over the edge, causing me to let out one final loud moan as all my muscles tensed, the knot in my stomach dissolving as Harry began licking my cum from my thighs like a drunken man, driving me into an overstimulation which only stopped when I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his head away from my core.
"Damn leech," I joked as I looked into his eyes, before pulling him up for a kiss. He fell back into his chair, pulling me back into it with a squeal as I held onto him, feeling just a bit bare considering all I wore was a bra, whilst he still wore his joggers and shirt. "Don't you want to join my naked-ness and take something off?"
Harry shrugged, pulling his shirt off and making me grin. He knew I loved his muscles. His shoulders and triceps, and that suble ab definition and chest muscle than shone beneath his skin. I pressed a chaste kiss to his neck, finding a tender spot between his collarbone and neck and licking and biting, causing him to elicit a moan as I pulled back to admire the bruise I'd left on his neck.
"Can't let you get away with that-" with that, Harry pulled me into him and pressed his head higher up my neck and beginning his hickey so that it'd be more visible, causing me to throw my head back to let out a noise- only to come face to face with his camera behind his setup....
The camera's light was still flashing red.
"HARRY!" He ripped his head from my neck and followed my finger, pointed straight at the camera with the flashing light indicating it was on. 
 "Shit, shit, shit-" Pulling his keyboard and mouse over, he hastily plugged and earphone into either of our ears and began rifling through his windows on the monitor, only to find that he was still unmuted, with his camera on and streaming in Discord- and Chris and Will were still in the call, both sat in their chairs with a look of bright red on their faces. 
Holy shit...
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Another day, another kinktober post! Sure, I've only posted 2 smuts in the whole of the October month, but you guys can manage. Hopefully this makes up for some of the lack in updates, too. There is a part 2 on the roster as well so i suppose you can keep your eyes peeled for that too 👀👀
Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!
To see more, here's my MASTERLIST
And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read
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Note
Hey 👋🏽!!,
I just want to stop by and say I absolutely love your fics, you capture Daryl so well😍. I was wondering if you could write something where Norman stops by his restaurant in Senoia for a quick meeting and sees the hot new waitress working there and it's lust at first sight🥵😈 .. He has to have her.. They meet up after her shift takes her back to his home and c o m p l e t e l y ruins her 🥴🫠: Blowjob & swallow, NORMAN WHIMPERING 😩🤌🏽 as reader sucks him off, deep fingering, face sitting & squirt, eating out tongue fuck!ng, ROUGH doggie style with a sloppy creampie breeding kink ending 😮‍💨 WHEW LAWD😶‍🌫️🫣, I hope this isn't too off the rails for you 🙃 Below is an aesthetic of what I want female reader and Norman to look like
"The New Girl"
Please and thank you 🙏🏾 🤭
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GIRL. OMFG. THE WAY YOU DID NOT HOLD BACK AT ALL?? LITERALLY CURLING MY TOES PULLING MY HAIR KNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE
I’m actually really scared because this is gonna be my first time ever writing for Norman, or an actor in general, and I’m just nervous for this to come out like super corny or I write him super out of character and it’s like your average fangirl fanfic but tbh we’re just gonna close our eyes, spin around in circles and god willing nothing bad happens
The reader is black, obvs, but it’s written in a way where everyone can still enjoy and squeeze their thighs together, you’ll just be one of us in this story 🎀
Also how did I not know Norman had a restaurant… three actually…
This definitely has a word count of atleast 4k my phone actually started to slow down everytime I opened this
@blackvelveteen1339 I hope I did you justice cause holy fucking hell this was the hottest request EVER 💙💙
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THE NEW GIRL
“Are ya' impressed yet?”
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
Everyone knows that moving to another place will always be the hardest feature in life, let alone moving to a whole new city in a whole different state.
Senoia was absolutely stunning, with breathtaking views and beach perfect weather. It was totally everything that you had hoped it would be, and so was your little studio apartment, which wasn’t bad at all considering the cozy size, not to mention there were quite a few stores around, also well as the infamous main street.
You sighed, a twinge of sadness. At almost twenty-seven, this would be your first time ever living alone, having lived with your parents for a huge chunk of your life. You were still young and wanted to go out into the big world on your own, and for the longest Georgia had been calling out your name.
Some of your friends and family had discouraged you from going, claiming that it was ridiculous to move so far away from home so carelessly. For a minute, you had even thought so yourself, repeating it over and over again in your head that it wasn’t worth it, or that it was just a dumb dream, and you didn’t even have a path in mind. It was a reckless thing to do, to go into a whole new state with no clue on what you wanted to do with yourself, let alone who you wanted to be.
Yet, here you sat in your new apartment, with nothing but a suitcase, duffel bag and mattress to your name, yes, happier than you’ve ever been but lonely as well. You check your phone, swiping through your notifications before unlocking it, and opening your Instagram.
You had always been a quiet and reserved person with a bit of a wild side, which you kept hidden very well under wraps. Your feed consisted of hair tips, food, traveling, and a little heat. You followed a couple of influencers, mostly your favorite music artists, and actors. There were lots of concerts happening in Atlanta, which you found wasn't far away from Senoia at all. You'd always wanted to see some of your faves in person, but none of them had ever come out to where you used to live. Not to mention, it was expensive. Speaking of expensive, you realized that you would need to start looking for a job sooner or later if you wanted to keep your studio.
Luckily you had enough to pay rent for at least the next few months, however, groceries were quite pricey these days. You huffed and glanced over to your suitcase to where it remained unpacked in the corner, clothes spilling out of it from where you had been carelessly digging through it. You had only been in Georgia for a few weeks, and hadn't really left to go anywhere. By the looks from what you could see out the window, it was an undeniably nice day, and job opportunities were always fluttering around. You decided that it was finally time to get your shit together and show Senoia what kind of girl you really were.
Swinging off your makeshift bed, you rose to your feet, grimacing slightly and groaning softly as you stretched and walked over towards the bathroom, frowning at the tangled mess that was your hair once you stood in front of the mirror. There were also a few stains on your shirt. Yeah, a shower was definitely needed. You twisted the handle to the middle and allowed the water to heat up, padding over to your messy suitcase.
There were a couple of hangers in the closet but that was about it. Luckily there were also shelves built in which would have to do for now. You were probably going to need a small list of things, hangers being priority number one.
Going through the suitcase, you had your everyday clothes, some old work clothes, and few clubbing clothes. Your duffel bag contained your personable items, as well as a couple of important documents and paperwork for the apartment. You had already moved all your hygienic stuff into the bathroom, and decided to stress about putting away your clothes later, focusing on what you would actually wear out.
You wanted it to be a mix between comfortable yet classy, classy yet also sexy. A simple and lowcut long-sleeve matched with a pair of bootcut jeans that you could easily jazz up with some jewelry and a cute hairstyle. Draping the outfit over your bed, you began to rid yourself of your clothes, fishing a towel as well as a bra and pair of panties out of your duffel bag, and stacking them together on the bathroom counter. You played music off your phone out loud and made a mental note to also buy a speaker, letting out a satisfied groan as you stepped under the hot spray from the shower head.
The water ran down the length of your body from where it soaked in your curly hair, eyes fluttering shut as droplets began rolling down your face. It felt incredible to have days worth of bedrotting be finally washed down the drain. You wiped the water out your eyes and wringed it out your hair, reaching for the shampoo bottle and twisting the cap off, dumping a handful of the liquid into your palm. You smeared it from the top of your head, carrying it down to your ends, beginning to thoroughly scrub your way back up to your scalp, where you worked the soap into the strands.
Once your hair was completely coated and covered in suds, you rinsed the excess from your hands and grabbed your body wash to start cleaning yourself up as you let the shampoo soak into your hair. You drizzled a generous amount onto the sponge amd ran it under the hot water, rubbing it together in your hands to create the foamy bubbles. You began to work your way up one arm, scrubbing the skin as you went over your shoulder and underneath your arm, moving over across your collarbone to the other arm, eventually working down the length of your chest, as well as legs.
You squeezed the remaining soap out from the sponge, hanging it back in its spot as you started to rinse off your body, leaned your head back and wringing the sudsy water out your hair, hands working to wash all the shampoo out the coily strands. Not that you were in a rush, but it did take a little time, an ache beginning to form in your arms by the time you were done. Pumping a generous amount of conditioner into your hand, you worked it into your scalp with the tips of your fingers and rubbed it into the rest of the strands, clipping it back once there was no more left in your hands.
This time you shaved your legs, cause lord knows it’s been a minute since you’ve done that. In the process of shaving them, you noticed that your bikini area could also use some razor work.
It had been a little while since you had needed any reason to shave down there, but now that you were in a new environment with new faces, you never knew what you might stumble across. The men back in your hometown were okay, but you held your hopes up high that Senoia would toss something totally unexpected your way.
Once you were bare and smooth, you washed away the hair caught in your razor and unclipped your curly hair, rinsing off the clip before your hair, humming at how soft the strands felt under the stream of water. You squeezed and wrung out the conditioner, hearing the days of neglect run down the drain. When it was all out, you gave your body one last thorough scrub, properly washing off your skin from head to toe before shutting off the water and grabbing your towel.
You sighed as you patted your face dry, moving down your neck and chest. As you dried your hair, you stood in front of the mirror, lazily singing along to the current song playing and striking a few poses in your nude form. Although you did have a few insecurities, ones that sprouted from your late teen years and hadn't really left in your adult years, you preferred to just focus on the parts of yourself that you really liked.
It was still fairly early as you rechecked your phone, dropping the towel down on the ground and slipping on your panties, clasping your bra on shortly after. You grabbed your toothbrush and squeezed almost a little too much paste onto the bristles, giving it some water before scrubbing your teeth, mindlessly walking around your apartment as you did. The main street below your window was still bustling with cars and filled with people spilling out of shops, and music thumping from the lively restaurants. There was a nearby park that was full of squealing children, as well as other people from the community and neighboring apartment complexes. All of it was much different than what you had grown accustomed to back home, but it was such a nice change of scenery all at the same time, and you couldn't wait to throw yourself out onto Senoia's street.
Back in your little bathroom, you flicked the sink faucet on and spit the gathered foam out, filling your mouth with water and swishing it around for a little, spitting it out as well. You also brushed your tongue before taking in another mouthful of water, washing out the remaining toothpaste from your brush before dropping it back in its cup, shutting the sink off, and wiping your mouth dry. Taking a deep, but quick grounding breath, you moved to put your clothes on, hiking your fairly tight jeans up before slipping on your top. Even though it was plain black, it had a cute set of flared sleeves.
You dug through your bag for your box of jewelry as well as your makeup, setting both down heavily on the counter as you stared at your hair in the mirror, huffing in annoyance as you started to wonder if you needed to style it. Maybe a half-up half-down look? No, a full ponytail would be better. But a high bun would also be cute... or maybe a half-bun. Maybe bald. Bald would be best.
You mentally kick yourself as you flip the lid to your makeup box open to distract yourself from your hairstyle dilemma. You reassured yourself that you'd figure out something by the time you were fully ready, sighing as you prepped your face. The only times you ever really used makeup was when you were going out with intent, and wanted to make sure that your face stood out to any potential victims. It didn't take long to do as you pointedly and skillfully brushed sharp and soft lines over your honey skin, keeping your hand as steady as your body would allow you.
A few swipes of liner and mascara later, glossy lips, and the front of your hair parted to the side, you were clipping on a silver necklace paired with a bracelet, and a dangly pair of earrings. It was a bit simple, so you decided to layer another necklace on top of the other, smiling at yourself in the mirror before flipping the lights off, padding out into the bedroom, and fishing around for your purse, placing it on the bed next to you as you slid on a pair of wedged sandals. Hopefully, the foot pain later would be worth it.
You slipped your phone into your back pocket, and threw your purse onto your shoulder, tossing in a small bottle of perfume just in case. You shut the doors inside and flicked off the main room light, creaking your front door open and securely shutting it behind you, locking it with your keys before tossing them into your purse, striding down the hallway of your complex with intention hot in your steps.
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
When you pushed the door of your building open, the warm and inviting air of Senoia almost immediately filling your lungs, you felt a strong sense of anticipation surge through you as you walked out onto the sidewalk, the sounds of conversations now real and more animated than ever, the thumping of music now bumped through your feet and right in your chest.
As you casually strolled down the sidewalk, taking in all the different buildings and things to do, a furniture store caught your eye. While you didn't have any money, it never hurt to look around, and maybe get some information from some of the locals.
The furniture store was filled with pieces on the much older side and vintage lamps that only old ladies would be interested in, but you continued to walk around anyway. As you were browsing a wall of intricate paintings and sculptures, a kind-looking woman approached you.
"Welcome to Hollberg's! Our newer, more modern stuff is upstairs if that's more your style" She smiled, and you gave a polite one in return. "I'm just browsing for now. Just moved here about a week ago and I don't have a job yet" You lightly laughed.
The woman gave you an excited expression, clasping her hands together. "How nice! Where are you from originally?"
"Louisiana, Chalmette. I lived there for most of my life so I just needed a fresh start somewhere totally new." You sigh, still kindly smiling at her.
"I get that, and Senoia is perfect for that, Georgia overall. Atlanta is also quite close, and there's lots of job opportunities out there."
You frown, "Unfortunately I don't have a car, and you can't Uber without money" Shaking your head at your obviously very sticky situation.
The woman seemed to think for a moment, walking quickly away to fetch something from behind a desk and coming back over, holding out a few pieces of paper. "We aren't hiring now, but here are some flyers for restaurants in this strip. Not sure how lucky you'll get, but I do wish you luck. There's a cafe right across the way" You took the flyers from her, smiling at her one last. "Thanks girl. Hopefully, next time we talk it's about furniture" She let out a small laugh, watching as you spun on your heels and walked out of the store.
On your way out, you almost immediately spotted the cafe and wasted no time walking over to it, quickly crossing the street while throwing a few quick glances to the left and right as you did. Before you entered, you slipped the restaurant flyers into your purse and swung the door open, the smell of coffee strong and a bit overwhelming. The cafe was quite large inside, and there was a small line at the registers at near front, nothing you weren't willing to stand in.
Once you reached the front, you were greeted by a young woman, smiling brightly at you. "Hi! Welcome to Senoia's Coffee and Cafe, what can I get started for you?"
"Sorry, I'm not looking to buy anything, I'm actually looking for work. I just moved here about a week ago" She made a small look of surprise, furrowing her brows as she mouthed 'one moment' and disappeared behind a wall, returning mere seconds later with a sheepish look replacing her previous one. "We, unfortunately, aren't hiring right now. I think my boss is in a bad mood, but I heard the restaurant down the street is hiring! Uh, just can't think of the name"
You fish out the flyers, "Any of these?" Holding them out to her. She tilts her head, humming quietly before tapping her finger against one. "This place! They need waitresses, especially around this time. You'd be a great fit there too" She smiled, and you smiled back, giving her a "Thanks" before walking back out of the shop, and down the sidewalk, eyeing a few of the other buildings before stopping in front of dark gray one, reading the sign before pulling the door open.
The inside of the restaurant was absolutely stunning, with clean floors, and light walls mixed with brick that complemented the expensive chandlers hanging from the ceiling, highlighted against the polished wooden furniture. There was casual jazz playing in back, loud enough to hear but loud enough to still be able to talk normally.
The restaurant was fairly small, a highly stocked bar on one side and the dining room on the other, bathrooms at the back. You weren't quite sure where to stand, awkwardly off to the side as you scanned the room for someone, feeling relieved when a woman spotted you and called that she would be right there. You watched as she cleaned a finished table, quickly walking the dirty dishes into the kitchen before coming back out, huffing when she reappeared.
"It's a lot of work, huh?" You asked kindly, and she sighed.
"Hell yes. I jus' wish I had one more set of hands" She laughed airily, tapping at something on her register. "Table fer one?"
You shook your head, "No, I'm actually here to work. Just moved here a week ago" Smiling softly at her.
She gave you a look of surprise, "Really? Where ya comin' from?"
"Chalmette in Louisiana. I just needed a different change of scenery, somewhere new where I can figure my shit out" She nodded her head at your words. "I hear that. Good fer ya' girl! Like I said, I need one more set of hands. Got any experience?"
"I worked in a sports bar for a good while back home, there wasn't really much to work with" You sighed. "I've never served tables but I was a host for a little bit"
She seemed pretty satisfied, nodding as you spoke with a smile tugging her lips. "Well, I'd say yer gonna make a pretty good damn waitress. How soon can ya' start?"
"I'd start today if you let me" You laugh lightly, and she makes a face. "I mean if you can bring me the papers I need within the hour I can get you a shift tonight"
You blinked at her, raising a brow. "Seriously?"
"I'll give ya' the uniform straight after, m'serious" She smiled, holding out her hand.
You took hers in yours with little hesitation, shaking it firmly. “I’ll be right back” Was all you said before walking out the restaurant, quickly and eagerly striding back over to your apartment building. It was maybe a five minute walk, which was not bad at all. As you entered, walking through the lobby and up the stairs, you dug in your purse for the keys to your studio, swinging them around your finger as you walked down the hallway on your floor.
Unlocking the door, you stepped inside and shut it, placing your purse on the counter and taking out the flyers, rushing over to your suit case and flipping it open, rummaging through. You grumbled as you began pulling stuff out, zipping open pockets and shaking the bag, about to freak out when the blue folder fell out. “Aha!”
You cracked it open, smiling when you confirmed the important papers such as your W2 as well as birth certificate. You rose to your feet and it in your purse, finish out your wallet to make sure you had your I.D as well as social security, tossing it back into the bag and sliding it back over your shoulder, setting out your house once again to go get your new job.
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
You felt a small amount of anxiety boiling in your stomach as the sun started to set, the main street of Senoia, only get louder and louder, even through your shut window. Your eyes flickered down to your pressed uniform, sharply exhaling as you checked the time on your phone and unlocked it, rereading the schedule over and over again. It was about five-thirty, and you needed to be there at six.
Hooking your phone up to get some more charge as you stripped out your regular clothed and into your work ones, humming pleasantly as you looked the mirror. The shirt was tight but loose fit, and the pants covered your ankles. It was an all black uniform, ‘Nic & Norman’s’ in the left corner embroidered in white.
To keep your hair out the way, but still stylish, you tied it back into two high and curly space buns. You decided to go for a simple cat eye liner look, sticking on a pair of lashes instead of mascara this time. A few quick swipes of a rose pink gloss, and a couple spritz’s of your most expensive perfume, you were done and ready to go.
As you slipped a pair of black tennis shoes on, you still had a lingering feeling of nerves in your tummy. This wasn’t your first job obviously, but this was you first waitress job. The woman you had spoken too, who’s name you learned was Tyler, reassured you that you were a perfect fit.
Standing in the mirror one last time, you gave yourself a good look over to make sure you looked professional and presentable, hopefully also tippable.
You tossed your purse over your shoulder, and draped a sweater over yourself, flipping off all the lights and shutting the front door behind you, locking it and stuffing your keys inside.
Just as you expected, the air was brisk and much cooler than it had been when the sun was still high in the sky, night falling over the streets and Senoia’s street lighting itself up, restaurants now more alive than ever. As you walked with a small crowd, you observed how almost everyone was now dressed in more proper attire, nicely ironed suits paired to modestly short dresses.
The outside seating of Nic & Norman’s was already packed full when you arrived, swinging the door open to find the inside seats equally as stuffed. You felt your nerves soaring this time, and tried not to awkwardly duck your head down as you walked into the kitchen, feeling like a foreigner.
“Y/n! Thank fuck!” Tyler gasped from behind you, making you jump slightly. “I’ve got salads and burgers wedged so far up m’fuckin’ ass” She grumbled, grabbing you by thw wrist and pulling you quickly through the clamoring kitchen into a back office.
She dropped down onto a seat, sighing heavily. “Is it like this every night?” You asked, a little more scared then you should be.
“Sometimes. If m’not mistaken, one of the owners should be coming tomorrow. Boy do I sure hope it’s Norman” Tyler sighed, dreamily at the end. She stared off into space with a small smile, and you looked around the room, looking at the overflowing cubbies. “Shit sucks. Ya’ can stick yer stuff with mine” She spoke, snapped out her trance and pointing at a pile a good distance away from the rest. “It’s okay. People know not ta’ fuck with m’shit” Tyler added when she saw the wary look on your face.
“So, who exactly is ‘Nic and Norman’?” You question, and Tyler’s mouth drops.
“You don’t know who Greg Nicotero and Norman Reedus are?” You shook your head, brows furrowed in pure confusion. Maybe you did know them, you just never were very big on putting faces to names.
Tyler whipped out her phone, but frowned. “Shit girl, forgot we had a job ta’ be doin’. Don’ even stress. Ya’ look real good. Shirt fits ya’ good too. Yer gon be loaded up with tips, ‘nd m’sure ya’ can handle tha’ creeps” She rose to her feet, checking her own makeup in the camera lense of her phone before pocketing it. “And don’ try ta’ be fuckin’ superman and carry thirty plates at a time. Pro-tip, learn some Tetris” Tyler swiped a new layer of gloss on her lips, and tossed it into her pocket, pulling you back through the busy kitchen.
“Luckily they print tha’ table number tha’ food is fer on tha’ ticket, so tha’ chef’s started ta’ put tickets with plates, so when ya come here, just find yer table” She explained quickly yet simply, each word she spoke going in one ear and echoing in the other, turning themselves on loop.
Tyler poked her head out the kitchen, looking around before she beckoned someone over. A young man came jogging over, and she pulled him inside by his shirt. Damn if she didn’t play around.
“This is Javi, one of our hosts tonigh’.” Tyler gestured to his with her hands, and he waved politely. “Javi is gon’ show ya’ yer table section. From this point on, m’gon be nothin’ but a blur ta’ ya” She placed a hand on your shoulder, smiling at you before turning and picking up the plates from earlier, easily balancing them on her arms and kicking open the kitchen door, out onto the floor.
A awkward moment of silence passed between you and the young man, not really quiet, but there were no words spoken as he swiped through something on an iPad, brows slightly furrowed. “You’re um, you’re y/n right?” He mumbled, and you nodded.
Javi motioned for you to follow him with his head, and he led you out into the loud dining area, bringing you over towards the bar. “See those four tables there?” He pointed, and you had to follow his finger, nodding when you spotted the four booths he was pointing to. “All yours. They can hold up to like ten people, so good luck.” You grimaced at that, feeling your stomach do flips.
“Here. Can’t be a waitress without your notepad. Or a pen” Javi joked, and you smiled kindly at him, thanking him. As you did, a new wave of people entered, prompting Javi to go over and get them situated. You watched as he seated the new guests, and pulled a group waiting from the lobby, grabbing their menus and leading them over to your section.
He came back over, mouthing ‘all yours’ before disappearing into the kitchen.
You took a few, shaky and deep breaths, before putting on your friendliest face and approaching the table.
Luckily, it was just a simple family, mom and dad with their two kids who seemed to be well over the age of ten. You greeted them with a kind smile, “Welcome to Nic & Norman’s, my name is Y/n and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you started on any drinks?” You clicked your pen, pressing it into the pad of paper.
The mother smiled back at you, “You guys sure are busy! I bet it’s always exciting when they come to town, huh?” She glanced back at her menu, acting as if she hadn’t left you totally clueless.
“Yeah. It’s only my first day here so I’m a little nervous” You confess, brushing off her earlier statement. “Gosh! Well, guess we’re testing you now!” She laughed, and you laughed as well, only a tad unnerved. “I think I’ll just do a simple cocktail” You nodded, writing down at the top of the pad. Her son ordered a strawberry lemonade, her daughter a soda, and her dad a beer.
“I’ll have those right out for you guys” You clicked your pen once again, and quickly walked away, retreating back into the kitchen.
You pushed the doors open, but frowned at the loud clamoring and multiple orders being shuffled out. No way in hell would your drinks be done in a reasonable time. You exited out the kitchen, glancing around when you had a lightbulb moment.
“Psst, hey muscle man” You called to the bartender, leaning against the counter. “Think you could make these real fast?” You held out the drink ticket, wiggling it as you flirtatiously smiled and batted your lashes.
He stammered for a second, “muscle man?” glancing down at himself and feeling a heat rise to his cheeks. What could you say? You knew a strong man when you saw one.
You kept your hand outstretched, motioning for him to take it.
“Do I even know you?” He raised a brow, and you shook your head. “Nope. But you should do it anyways” You smile, and he frowns, taking the paper from your hand. You spot Javi leaving your section, throwing you a glance and a thumbs up, and you tap the bartop. “I’m counting on you, Hercules”
You approach your second table, and feel a hint of annoyance surge through you as you discover it’s a group of men. Very loud ones at that. You put on your best fakest smile, clicking your pen against your leg as you spoke. “Welcome to Nic & Norman’s, my name is Y/n and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get a round of drinks going for you gentlemen?”
One of the men whistled, “Well ain’t you just somethin’ pretty to look at” letting out a very country laugh.
A few of the other men let out laughs, and you simply smiled, more of ‘I wish I was off the clock so I could rock you’ smile, but still a smile. “Yeah. I’m also here to get you guys something to drink” You joked, knowing men tipped more when you gave into their antics.
"Let the woman do her job, Bill" Another man said to him, nudging him with his arm and he swatted them away. You tapped your pen against the paper, trying not to hurt one of them. Thankfully they made things easy and agreed to order a round of beer. You murmured that you'd be back, quickly walking out of the section to the bar.
When you walked over, you could see the family's drinks sitting on top of the counter and swapped out the drink tickets when you stopped before them. It was a little awkward trying to carry four drinks at once, struggling as you kept picking up and putting the cups downs.
“See? Wha' did I say?” Tyler spoke as she suddenly appeared next to you, placing a hand on her hip. “Tryin’ be some kind of fuckin’ avenger when yer jus’ makin’ yerself look goofy” She scoffed and held out her dish tray, watching as you placed the drinks down on it.
You took it from her with a sheepish look. "Thanks, Just a bit on edge" You told her, and she placed both her hands on your shoulders, smiling softly at you. "Don' be. Yer a natural. Jus' keep doin' wha' yer doin'" She gave you a salute and was gone as quickly as she had come.
Sighing sharply, you walk the tray of drinks over to the family with a smile and hand them, listening to the mother awe over the colors of her cocktail. "How pretty! I think we're all ready to order, right?" She glanced at her family for their confirmation, and you pulled your notepad out, tucking your tray under your arm. The mother ordered a margarita flatbread, her husband ordering a whiskey salmon, and her kids both ordering a classic hamburger. "I'll have those out for you guys shortly" You smiled once you had their order scribbled down, collecting their menus and leaving them be.
You walked past the men's table, briefly letting them know you were coming back with their beers, and dropped the menus off to the front where Javi was standing, getting the next group of people seated. "Y/n, I'm gonna stick these folks in your section. Hand me those" He said as he turned to you, taking the menus from your hand and leading them to your third table. You weren't doing too bad if you did say so yourself.
Thanks to the help of the tray, loading up the round of beers for the men wasn't much of a hassle at all. When they saw you approaching with the mugs filled to the bim, they whooped and hollered, prompting you to shush them as they began to collect eyes nearby. Instead of handing out the drinks like you did with the last table, you simply let them take their respective mug off the tray, knocking their glasses together. "I'm guessing you fellas are ready to order huh?" You give them your best show, even jutting your hip out a little. Don't get mad at a girl for using her resources.
"You bet'cha sweet ass we are, and this big boy wants a steak" The one they call Bill piped up once again, drumming on his belly as he spoke. A few laughs erupted from the table, and you felt your eye twitching. "How would you like that cooked?" You mumbled, smile just barely clinging to your face. "Medium-rare. I like mines to be pink on the inside" He laughed gravelly, and you tried to act like he wasn't comparing a steak to someone's vagina.
The same man nudged Bill, this time a little harder and more serious than last time. "Sorry 'bout him. I'll do the medallions" You nodded at him as you wrote down his order, murmuring how it was alright. The other men just started to throw their orders out there, placing their menus down in the middle once you had their request scribbled down. You gathered all the menus and dropped them off to the front, exhaling as you made your way to the kitchen in order to get your tables food started.
As you pushed the door open, you groaned when you saw how chaotically busy it was getting, loud chattering and banging filling the space. Orders were lined up and quickly being pushed out, some of the other waiters brushing past with their own trays of food in hand. Glancing around for someone, you awkwardly handed off the papers to the nearest chef. Getting ready to exit out the kitchen, feeling as though you were in the way the sound of applause rang out from the front, and all movement around seem to freeze for split second. You all looked around at each other, mirroring faces of confusion before Tyler came barreling through the doors.
"Norman fucking Reedus just fucking walked in and I swear on everythin' I love I'm gon’ go absloutely mad" She rambled, bouncing with energy.
“I thought he wasn’t supposed to come til tomorrow?” The head chef spoke, rising a brow from where he was manning a large grill.
Tyler rolled her eyes, charging towards rhe back office. “Who cares? He’s here now ‘nd I need ta’ make sure I look good!” She got about halfway, before turning back around grabbing you by the wrist, resuming her mission to the office.
Inside, she shuffled over to hee stuff, digging through a backpack and pulling out a makeup bag, plopping down in a seat and pulling up the lens of her phone. “So what’s the big deal?”
“Wha’s tha’ big deal?” Her eyes almost bulged out of her head, staring at you in shock and a bit of horror. “Oh, nothin’, jus’ tha’ he’s tha’ sexiest guy in Hollywood”
You scoffed at her, “Sexy ain’t nothing if he’s shit in the sheets” shaking your head.
Tyler groaned, curling her lashes carefully. “Ya’ don’ even know wha’ yer talkin’ ‘bout. He’s a munch, certifiable”
“Psh. I’ll believe that when I see it.” You say, turning to walk out the office and get a look at this guy for yourself.
“Wait!” Tyler held out her hand, rising to her feet. “Yer not leavin’ without a little touchup. One of us is gettin’ lucky tonight and it’s gon’ be me. If ya’ fuck him, I want all them details” She spoke as she maneuvered you to sit in the chair, tilting your your head up and insecpting your face.
“If I do fuck him it’ll just be so I can get ahold of his wallet” You murmur, closing your eyes as she dusted the lids of them with glitter, brushing some down the bridge of your nose. “Well ya’ better share some with me” She pinched your nose, and you swatted playfully at her, smirking. “I’ll think about it”
She swipes a glossy layer of gloss over your lips, before her own, tossing the contents of her makeup back into the bag and the bag back into her backpack. The kitchen has returned to loud clamoring and pots and pans being banged together, servers dashing in and out with their orders.
Nearby by, the food for your first table was waiting patiently for you, and you gasped softly. “Oh wow this stuff actually looks really good!”
Tyler held out the dish tray for you, again, holding it with both hands and verbally helping you to cram all four dishes on there, the flatbread being a long and awkward dish. “The salmon is super good. I probably done’ forced the kitchen ta’ make it fer m’bout a hundred times now” She laughed as she spoke, gingerly handing off the the tray to you. “Don’ drop nothin’”
“Now why would you even say that?” You roll your eyes at her, and lightly kick her shin, turning on your heel quickly to walk out the kitchen when she frowned your actions.
You pushed the door open with your hip and walked back out into the busy dining area, a smile on your face as you approached the family with their food, placing the tray down on the table so you could hand out their plates easily. The mother helped by taking her flatbread off, humming as she made sure it was exactly what she had wanted. “Could I get anything else for you folks tonight?” You politely asked, sliding the tray off the table and back under your arm. “Nope! Thank you, you’ve been so kind and helpful” The woman smiled back at you, and you slightly bowed your head before leaving them to their meal.
“I should be back with you guys food as well. Another round while we wait?” You stopped by the mens table, observing their almost empty mugs and giving a thumbs up at their rowdy agreement. “And my apologies for the wait. At least you had plenty of menu looking time right?” You joked lightly as you finally approached your third table for the night, a small group of friends who seemed like easy people to deal with.
“Ahaha, not much. We were pretty hung up on drinks. I think we’re all gonna try the Bloody Nicotero” One of the women spoke, glancing around the table for her friends confirmations. They all nodded in agreement, and another girl requested for a cup of water. “Would you like table water? For all of you!” They nodded, and you scribbled down the few drinks. “I’ll be right back with those” You smile at them, and as soon as you walk out the section it totally drops.
“Hey, muscle man!” You called out to him, leaning over the bartop. He eyed you from the side, finishing the drink he was currently pouring before moving over to you, a brow raised. “I have a name y’know” He pointed to the tag, but you ignored him, raising your own finger and pointing to the group’s order. “What the hell is a bloody Nekot… Nickote- Tar?-“
“Nicotero. And it really packs a punch” A man spoke suddenly from behind you, making you instinctively jump with your hands raised. “My God! Didn’t your momma teach you not to walk up behind people?” You huffed and put a hand over your thumping heart, turning back to the bartender to promptly ignore the asshole behind you.
“So like I was saying- What? Why’re you looking like that?” You glance at his stun face, and turn back to the man behind you, a curious smile tugging his lips. “Are you Nicotero?” You quirk a brow, and the bartender sputters.
The man lets out a light chuckle, shaking his head which made his wavy curls bounce. His hair was fair dark and stopped at his shoulders, his bangs attractively pushed back by a pair of sunglasses. He was pretty tall, and very well built, eyes lingering on his musclar arms longer than they should’ve. Your eyes flickered down to the skull inked on his hand, and then back up to his face.
“Nope. Nicotero is the other guy. I’m just Norman” His voice was smooth and rich, but not quite deep. It had a light and airy feel to it, very gentle on the ears.
Norman. Norman… “Reedus?” He nodded. Oh, well, shit. “Don’ know if you were aware of this pretty girl but I own this place” He spoke casually and easily.
“I wasn’t actually. I’ve only lived here for a week” You told him, watching as the bartender busied himself with your group’s drinks, as well as the men’s beers. “And this is my first day working here, and right now you, Norman, are being a distraction”
He raised a bow, smile only growing across his lips as he spoke. “That’s just what I do best darling”
You placed the tray down on the bartop and assist the man in fitting both the bloodies and waters onto the platter, slowly and very carefully picking it up.
Norman stepped out your way, and as you shuffled past him you stopped to whisper in his ear. “I feel like there’s a lot else you do best” You murmured, flirtatiously winking and walking into your section, greeting the friend group with a smile.
“Got your drinks here folks, heard these things knock your socks off so good luck” You joke as you hand out straws, clicking your pen and flipping through your notepad. “Is everyone ready to order?” You press the tip of the pen into the paper, writing down the first order shouted out and going down the line. There was a simple mix of burgers and salads, a few people had special requests on how they wanted their food to be which you wrote underneath, small but big at the same time.
You collected their menus, letting them know you'd have their food out shortly and whisking away, dropping the menus off at the front and walking quickly to the kitchen, glancing at Javi who seemed to be conversing with Norman. You pushed the door open and huffed a sigh of relief when the men's food was sitting there waiting. Placing the tray down, you loaded the plates on the best you could, having to carry two of them out with your other hand, balancing one on your forearm.
Another waitress saw you as she entered the kitchen, and she politely held the door open for you, nodding as you thanked her on your way out.
"Not gonna drop that are you?" Javi questioned when you walked back past, causing Norman to turn and glance at you.
You continue walking away, a smirk pulling your lips. "Not if you stop talking" The feeling of eyes lingering on your back makes a chill run up your spine, and part of you swears that you can feel butterflies in your stomach.
The men see you approaching their table, and at first, they start cheering but quiet down when they realize you were balancing heavy plates, resuming their celebration once the food is safely placed on the table. You call out the names of dishes to find their rightful owner, watching the men grab their plates and eagerly start eating, satisfied groans sounding from the table. With that, you left them to eat and returned back to the family, who was chatting amongst themselves and seemed finished with their food, most of it half eaten.
"Would you guys like some to-go boxes?" You smile, and the mother nods, "Yes please, and you can bring the tab as well," mirroring the kind smile you gave her.
You informed her you'd be right back with that, quickly walking out of the section and to the kitchen, glancing around. "Where's Tyler?" You asked a nearby chef, and he furrowed his brows, tilting his head in confusion. You repeated your question, a little louder this time, and he made an 'O' face, pointing to the office. You thanked him, and made your way back there, knocking before creaking the door open.
"What are you doing?" You stare at her, sitting in the chair with a tall cup and her phone in her hand. "Wha'? I needed my coffee" She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. "Talk to my beloved husband yet?" You rolled your eyes at that, stepping inside the office, but catching yourself. "Wait! Uh, my first table is ready to pay"
"Oh!" Tyler kicked herself off the chair, stretching and taking another sip of her caffeine. "C'mere, lemme show ya'" She said as she ushered you out. She led you through the kitchen, bringing you to a section behind the door you hadn't even noticed was there.
There was a computer with a list of waiters and waitresses on them, table numbers as well as totals on it. You spotted your name, and read the first tables total, which actually wasn't a bad price at all. "Jus' click tha', and then the huge print button" Tyler pointed, tapping the screen as she explained. The machine behind the computer whizzed to life, printing out a receipt. "They want boxes?" She questioned and you nodded, watching as she reached her hand down and pulled four to-go boxes out. You took them from her silently, blinking as if she had just performed a magic trick.
Tyler tore the receipt out of the machine, clicking her pen and scribbling something down. As she did, the machine began to print once again, and Tyler pulled out a slim booklet from underneath. "It prints twice 'cause tha' second receipt is tha' one tha' customer signs" She said as she took the paper out the machine, sticking it into the booklet, and handing it to you.
You took it from her with a smile. "Thanks. I did talk to Norman, and he's alright. Nothing too special" She gawked at your words, and started to playfully smack you with her hands. "Ugh! Ya' don' know wha' yer yappin' 'bout! Tha' man will change yer life" She harped, voice fading as you walked out the kitchen, lips stuck in a smile as you brought over your first tab of the night.
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
The rest of your shift went by with a breeze, the number of people coming in was now lessening and coming in pairs of two and four. It wasn't as busy anymore, and the air around seemed to be less tense.
You only had about one more hour left before you were done, and had about two tables still waiting for their food. You were ecstatic that your first night had gone by without any mishaps or complaints, having received generous tips from all your tables throughout.
On your way back to the kitchen to check on your last few orders, you spotted Norman sitting alone at the bar with a small drink in hand as he seemed to do something on his phone. You aren't sure what came over you, but you found yourself quietly approaching from behind.
"Shouldn't you be riding away in a limo back to your mansion?" He jumped slightly at the sudden sound of your voice, turning towards you with a small smile. "Maybe, but I didn't wanna leave without getting to know you better" You raised a brow at that. "Seriously? I'm just a waitress. Shouldn't you be like screwing around with models?"
Norman laughed at that, shaking his head a little. "Who's to say you aren't a model?"
"Well, aren't you just a real charmer" You giggled, feeling a heat rising to your cheeks. "What? You wanna take me home or something?" You said jokingly, standing more off to his side now.
You observed the look on his face, soft, interested, yet so dark. His piercing blue eyes shamelessly raked over your figure, tongue darting out over his lips. "Yeah. I really do" He whispered, eyes landing on yours. "Can I?"
"Not very celeb-like taking home staff don't you think?" You hummed, taking his drink and downing the rest, a mix between whiskey and coke. "It would be quite unprofessional for you to take me to your house when I get off in thirty minutes, very unprofessional indeed" You sensually mumbled, tossing him a final cheeky glance before disappearing into the kitchen, almost sprinting to the back office to go find Tyler, giddy smile tugging your lips.
Staring at his now empty glass, head resting in his hand, Norman couldn't help the way his stomach flipped, excitement and anticipation building up as your words rang out in his head.
。・:*:・゚☆
Thirty minutes had felt like a whole other hour, and you heaved a sigh of relief when you finally clocked out, purse slung over your shoulder and your sweater draped over yourself in a puny attempt to shield yourself from the cold.
Tyler had almost flipped the table over when you told her, jumping off the walls and excitedly shaking you, squealing as she rambled about all the things she thought were gonna happen, yelling that you needed to tell her every detail afterward. She even downright begged for you to get some pictures.
She had already left in her car to go home, slamming the digits of her number into your phone and pulling you into a tight hug, telling you to be safe and text her as soon as you got to your next destination, threatening to send out a search squad.
You stood outside, mindlessly rolling a rock under your foot and swiping through Insta, starting to wonder if a literal A-list celeb had just totally played in your face. Minutes went by and you started to feel a little offended, rightfully so, deciding to start making your way back home instead of waiting around like an idiot. As you were walking, you texted Tyler that you were leaving, that he had just left instead. Cars passed by and obviously none seemed to belong to someone who would own a restaurant. You scoffed, annoyed but not surprised.
As you rounded the corner to the street of your apartment building, you just so happened to crash into somebody smoking a cigarette, of coursing falling onto your ass like a dumbfuck.
"Damn, tryna run away from me gorgeous?" Norman's light voice sounded, and you blinked your eyes into focus. "Been looking for you" You grumbled as he easily lifted you off the ground, taking a drag from the cigarette. "Sorry. I get bored sitting still for too long" He shrugged, smiling cheekily at you. "Ready to go?"
"Go where? My house is right there" You shook your head, gesturing towards the building.
Norman waved his hand, dismissing you. "Nah. Gonna take you for a little ride. C'mon," He took a final pull, stubbing his cig out on the wall and motioning for you to follow him.
He led you back down the sidewalk and a little distance from the restaurant, making easy and light conversation. It felt like you had known him forever with the way he casually joked around with you, your heart fluttering a little each time he laughed.
He walked you over to a sleek and shiny motorcycle, standing on the other side of it with his hand held out, offering you some help with climbing onto the back of his bike. "A romantic bike ride? And here I thought you had ghosted me" You laughed when he himself straddled the bike, the engine roaring to life.
"Ghosted? Someone like you? Never doll" Norman chuckled over the rumble of his bike, kicking the stand out and rolling out the parking lot, glancing both ways for any passing cars.
You wrapped your arms around his middle when he started to pick up speed, turning off Senoia's main road and revving the engine, motorcycle quickly shooting forward. "Not so fast!" You gasp, tightening your hold. He laughed, patting one of your hands with his. You put your head on his shoulder to get a better view of the road, catching a strong whiff of his very expensive-smelling cologne, an exotic herbal smell that attracted you to him more, a heat shooting down to your core.
Norman caught a glimpse of your lust-filling eyes in his side mirror, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he knew he was in for a treat tonight, almost instinctively revving his engine again to speed up, but obeyed your request to not go too fast. He drove with the flow of traffic, listening to you awe over the lights and buildings. "Ever been to Atlanta?"
"Atlanta? Wh-why are we going there?" You stammered, taken aback since well, that was bit of a distance.
"Oh no doll, we aren't going. Yer just back there 'oh'ing and 'awe'ing I figured not" Norman chuckled, laughing when you smacked his shoulder. "Hold on, we're almost there" This time he revved his engine again, weaving between cars.
It made you feel like a teenager again, getting whisked away at night to some random guys house for an hour or two of fun, just to be dropped off somewhere unknown but close to home. It brought you back to your early twenties also, the years having been filled with nothing but hungover days and drunken nights, latching onto some poor guy who was willing to buy you every shot you down, likely in hopes of getting laid.
Sitting on the back of Norman’s bike however, something your gut told you this would be a little more than just a plain hook-up. Tyler’s words rang out in your head, and you couldn’t help but start to wonder if this really would change your life.
The traffic on the road dispersed as he drove further out, eventually turning down a quiet and dirt road.
“Whoa, I ain’t about to get murdered am I?” You joked, but you were really asking.
Norman chuckled, squeezing your hand and even looping his fingers through. “Nah. I’d take you out somewhere pretty”
“You wanna take me out or take me to bed?” You wiggled your fingers in his hold as a mock wiggle of the brows.
“Maybe I wanna do both”
Jesus, this man was something else.
The dirt road continued out for a couple of miles out, gravel and rocks crunching under the spinning tires of his bike. The road seemed to be hidden by a tall grassy field and towering trees, the only sound interrupting the peace being the rumble of Norman’s engine.
He made another turn, the tall field of grass seeming endlessly as he drove until you could barely make out what looked like houses at the top of a field. Shit, maybe he really was gonna murder you?
Norman revved the engine and the motorcycle picked up speeds, whipping the cool country air into your face and probably messing up your tied hair. The large houses came closer into view, huge properties with cars in driveways and lights on. The houses were scattered, your next-door neighbor being about five normal houses away.
Norman rolled down the street at a slower speed as to not disturb his neighbors, approaching a dark and gated house. The gates opened after the man pressed a few buttons on his phone, the outside lights of the home fading on and making it look more welcoming.
The gates closed behind the two of you when he rumbled onto the large driveway, lazily parking his bike right where he was.
This time you didn’t need any help, swinging yourself off the motorcycle and immediately tossing your arms up to stretch as you stared at the literal mansion you were about to walk into.
“C’mon. Did you get a chance to eat?” Norman placed a hand on your hip and led you to the front door, some fancy thumbprint technology letting him in.
“Not yet,” You smile softly as you enter the home, standing in the boxed-off foyer. “I got whisked away before I could escape back home”
“Well, I surely didn’t bring you here to starve you. Take your shoes off, I’ll mix something up” Norman said as he took his own shoes off, socked feet quiet against his wooden floors.
You toed off your own shoes next to his and followed, staring in awe at the midsized entrance. Two staircases descended on either side, leading to an equally large-looking upstairs with a small balcony.
Straight ahead, there was an opening that led out to the spacious main area, tall industrial windows covered the walls in the living room, paired with ceiling-to-floor navy blue curtains tied back so as to probably let in the earlier sunlight. The kitchen was big as well, with dark and wooden cabinets matched to grey ash-colored granite counters with specs of black obsidian throughout.
You had never seen such a gorgeous home, marveling at how clean it was. It had a luxurious feel while still being homely at the same time, a few paintings and sculptures hung up on the walls, sitting on table tops.
“This place is beautiful,” You said after taking a minute to fully appreciate the decor, resting your hip against the counter. “Do you live here?” You placed your purse down.
Norman laughed from somewhere, rounding a corner with an expensive-looking bottle of whiskey. “For the moment. I’m usually out in New York, but I have to be here for some work” You watched as he poured two glasses, handing you one a small smile.
You clinked the glasses together and both threw them back, the liquid burning your throat as well as your chest. “What do you do for work?” You said as you cleared your throat.
“Well right now we’re shooting,” Norman said casually, turning and opening the large fridge.
“A movie?” You question, pulling at the collar of your shirt.
The man chuckled slightly, “Do you have any ideaa who I am?” turning to you with a playful smile tugging his lips.
You scoffed, cheeks heating up a little bit because, well, “No, not really. My co-worker seemed to be a fan though”
“Oh really now? What’d she tell you?” Norman quipped, chopping and tossing the ingredients for what you could see was a really stuffed chicken salad.
“That you were the sexiest guy in Hollywood” He laughed at that, and you couldn’t help but stare at his broad shoulders from behind, watching his back muscles as he fixed the food.
“Well?” He said after a minute, and you realized you had zoned out. “What?”
Norman glanced at you, a dark look in his blue eyes. “Do you agree with her?”
You stared at him for a moment, before slowly approaching, stopping only a few centimeters short from him.
“Make me agree with her” You whispered, batting your lashes as you ran your finger up his arm.
Norman halted his movements, staring at you before his eyes flickered down to your lips, not hesitating to lean down and kiss them.
“Ya’ ain’t got no clue what you’re askin’ for, doll” He rasped, disregarding the half-made salad as he gripped your waist, lifting you off your feet and onto the island top, slotting himself between your legs as he moved to capture your lips in another kiss, this one way more eager and heated.
You moaned softly into his mouth as his hands caressed and fondled your waist, sliding down to your hips and pulling you closer against him, pressed his bulge into your clothed cunt.
He kissed you calculated yet sloppily, tongue swirling around in your mouth as his fingers slipped under your uniform. You hooked an arm around the back of his neck and bit down on his bottom lip, hard enough to where he groaned painfully. “Come on, impress me already”
“Whadd’ya want from me?” Norman started to kiss and lick your neck, but you yanked his head back by his hair, for starters yanking the pokey sunglasses off. “I wanna see what you’ve got, maybe like,” You trailed a hand down his chest, pushing him hard so he stumbled into the counter behind him. “What you’ve got in your pants?”
You kicked yourself off the island, pulling the hair ties out your hair and fluffing it out, dropping down to crawl over to Norman, evil smile taking over your lips as you scratched your nails down his denim jeans, mouthing and placing open mouth kisses over his straining cock.
Norman groaned above you, “Think ya can handle it?” a hand coming down and tangling into your hair.
“Can you handle it?” You retort, taking the zipper of his jeans between your teeth and unzipping them, popping the button open.
You tugged his boxers down, very unexpectedly getting smacked in the face by his cock, a good thick eight inches. His tip was red and leaky, the veins running along his shaft pulsating. You had been with your fair share of big guys, but Norman was quite impressive, your fingers stretching when you wrapped them around him.
You gave him a few experimental strokes, playfully looking up at him through your lashes as you run your tongue from his balls, all the way up to the head of his cock, swirling your tongue around it and taking it into your mouth, sucking the salty pre-cum off.
Norman’s hips jerked slightly, a mumble of curses falling from his lips as he tightened his grip on your hair. “M’not gonna be very nice to ya’ if you keep it up” He grunted, his face a little flushed.
“Didn’t want you to be nice in the place” You mused as you licked down the sides of his throbbing dick, smearing spit from your tongue as you went along. “Such a big cock but do you even know how to use it?”
Norman scoffed slightly, “Ya’ really don’t know who I am” rolling his hips when you took only his tip past your lips.
“Gonna show me?” You wiggled your butt a little, a surge of excitement coursing through you when rough hands gathered all your hair in one. “Yup, gon’ make you remember it too. Open that little bratty ass mouth wide” He tugged your head back, and you moaned, stretching open your lips as well curling your tongue inside your mouth.
Norman slowly slid himself inside, grunting at the warm wetness engulfing him as he leisurely rocked his hips, thrusting half his cock past your lips. There was an uncomfortable stretch the more he pushed in, a slight burning sensation as he worked himself in.
“I know this pretty throat can take a lot more, c’mon girl” Norman rasped, tilting your head further back and holding himself at his base, pushing in until his tip hit the back of your throat.
You relaxed your gag muscles, staring up at him innocently as you started to slide the head of his cock down, Norman letting out a thick hum as his grip in your hair tightened and his eyes fluttered, his hips jerking forward. He snapped the rest of his length suddenly down into your throat, a harsh grunt coming from him when your moan vibrated through him.
He pulled his hips back and sent them forward again, going smoothly back down in one thrust, repeating this action a few times. Norman watched how all his cock disappeared past your plush lips, nose nuzzled in his well-trimmed pubes before he pulls his hips back, leaving only the tip in before fully sliding right back down.
You squeezed your thighs together each time he plunged his cock into your mouth, eyes rolling shut as he started to increase his pace, only pulling himself out halfway now.
“Takin’ me so well gorgeous,” Norman said in a low, husky drawl. “S’like ya’ were made for this”
He was practically humping your face at this point, his own a bright shade of red as pants, and small gasps came from him, flat-out fucking your mouth. Each little noise that came from him made your cunt throb.
Speaking of throbbing, you could feel the way Norman’s cock was pulsating in your throat, deep and shaky grunts starting to come from him. His hips sped up, the sound of his balls slapping against your chin slightly echoing in the spaciousness, the soft gagging of his cock abusing your throat only heard between the two of you, followed soon by Norman’s heavy whimpers, grip on your hair impossibly tight.
His hips stuttered, cock twitching and spasming as he spilled deep inside your throat, trying your best to swallow but you sputtered around him, cum dribbling from the sides of your mouth.
Norman pulled himself out from your mouth, groaning softly at the cool air hitting his sloppy dick as it rested still painfully hard against your equally messy lips, gasping as you stared up at him.
“Impressed yet?” He raised a brow, out of breath himself.
You ran your tongue over your top lip, tasting his bitter release with a smile. “I thought you weren’t gonna be nice? I think you’re being quite boring if you ask me” You teasingly spoke.
Norman smirked, “Who said I was done? By the time m’done with ya’, your body will remember the shape of my cock” He said, snapping himself all the way back down into your throat, not wasting any time before he was fucking into it. He was still a little sensitive from his first orgasm, each bump of his tip pulling a husky whine from him.
It didn’t take long at all before he was already starting to get weak in the knees, each thrust feeling better than the last. He increased his pace, breathing picking up as small whimpers and gasps fell from his lips, a few final strokes before he was cumming down your throat, holding you flush against his navel as you swallowed the best you could.
He pulled out, leaving only the head of his cock on your tongue as he rutted against it, drawing out his orgasm until he was spent, cock softening when he pulled completely out.
You swallowed his load while staring right into his eyes, fluttering your lashes with your bottom lip caught between your teeth.
“Salad can wait. I wanna see wha’s hidin’ under this uniform” Norman said as he suddenly leaned down, scooping you up and tossing you over a sturdy shoulder, strong arm keeping you secure by your middle.
You let out a high yelp at the change in position, bouncing slightly as he trudged out of the kitchen, tugging at your pants as he climbed the stairs. He tossed them somewhere for you to hunt down in the morning, letting out a satisfied chuckle at your round backside, smacking a bubbly cheek. You giggled around a moan, especially when he firmly squeezed that cheek and spread it, helping himself to the view of your soaked panties, a dark red with black lace.
He pushed open a door to a huge and luxurious bedroom, the bed he dropped you on feeling like a cloud pulled straight out of the sky. Norman tore his shirt off, you doing the same as he dipped down, dragging his lips and teeth across your dark skin, sucking and biting as he explored your exposed collarbone.
You groaned and shamelessly wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him down to feel his already-hardening cock against your wet heat. Norman seemed to have something different in mind.
“Wanna sit on my face, sweet girl?” He murmured into your ear, brushing curly hair out your face. “Did so well fer me, gotta return the favor”
“You don’t gotta ask me twice,” You said in a honeyed voice, using your legs to flip your positions.
Norman landed with a small sound, looking up at you as you rolled your hips down on where you had his cock trapped between your two bodies. His hands traveled up to your waist, caressing and fondling the deep skin.
You looked like a goddess straddling him, curly hair flowing everywhere and framing your upper half, Norman’s eyes flickering down to your black bra where your tits were practically spilling out. You crawled towards his face, dragging your core heat up his abs and pressing it on his chest, towering angelically above him.
“I hope you don’t disappoint me” You tease, lifting yourself up onto your knees as you stuff your panties to the side, heart racing a little.
Norman licked his lips, hands squeezing your hips as he watched you toy with your clit. “Wouldn’t be able to forgive myself” He whispered, tugging you towards him.
You lowered yourself down, Norman more so pulling you down onto his waiting tongue, licking a warm stripe up your aching cunt, a pleased moan coming from you as you gripped the headboard, rolling your hips.
He started at your clit, flattening his tongue and giving the puffy bundle of nerves multiple hard licks, waves of electricity shooting through all your limbs, down to your tightly curled toes. He took the small bud into his mouth, sucking hard and rubbing the tip of his tongue against the raw nerves, making you gasp and rut down onto him.
Norman seemed to be enjoying himself, soft groans of his own coming from him as he started to slide his tongue between your folds, teasing your entrance before swirling around your clit, repeating the action a few more times. He used his grip on your hips to steadily rock you back and forth in time with his deep licks.
Eventually, he slid his tongue all the way inside your hole, curling it as well as thrusting it in and out. “Mmm, fuck yes, keep using that fucking tongue in me” You were almost bouncing on his face at this point, passionately moaning as he curled the wet muscle into you, harshly licking as his nose bumped against your clitoris.
His hands encouraged your movements, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your ass as he plunged his tongue as deep into you as he could. His cock twitched and needily ached, hips slightly jerking upward into the air. You ground your clit down on the tip of his nose, body rolling as he worked you closer and closer to the edge.
Norman could feel you clenching around his tongue, deciding to speed up your nearing orgasm by suddenly slipping out you, replacing his nose on your clit for his tongue, and filling your back up with two thick fingers, blissfully curling right into your sweet spot. You moaned loudly as one of your hands tangled in his hair, gripping roughly. Your body trembled as he fingered you in time with his tongue, bone-crushing weight washing over you as your hole spasmed around his wiggling digits, grinding down on his tongue until you just couldn’t take it anymore, groaning as you could feel your used cunt leaking juices all over his hand and face.
You were both gasping for air when you lifted yourself onto wobbly knees, Norman’s fingers slipping out as you kept yourself steady by gripping the headboard with both hands.
“Are ya’ impressed now?” He asked, audibly out of breath as he licked your slick from his glistening lips.
You scoff, smiling down at him. “A little, but I’d like to get to the main course now,” You said, swinging a leg and crawling off from above him. “No more side dishes”
Norman watched as you discarded the drenched pair of panties somewhere in the room, landing on the wooden floor with a small slap. You yanked your socks up, taking a needed second to ball them together before tossing them as well, starting to grab at Norman’s unbuttoned pants.
He helped kick them off, murmuring to you as he tugged his own socks off. “Forgot ta’ take yer bra doll”
“That’s your job, mister famous” You chuckle as he comes up behind you, hands exploring your bare melanin skin as they run up your sides, climbing and cupping your breast, circling to your back to unclasp the bra hooks. He threw the final piece of garment onto the floor, pulling you flush against his front.
He started sucking on your neck, one of his hands fondling your tit while the other snaked down to toy with your puffy clit. He rubbed his cock between your cheek, biting and licking his way to your shoulder. He pinched and rolled your nipple with his fingers, trailing his lips up the side of your neck and nibbling on your pulse.
You moaned softly when his hand dropped your tit, coming up to brush your hair out the way, gathering it in a tight but gentle grip as he tugged your head back onto his shoulder, dragging his tongue across your newly exposed throat, up the underside of your jaw till he reached your lips, capturing them in his.
Norman’s cock twitched against you when your hand joined the one still fingering your clit, scratching his skin with your nails gingerly as he slowly kissed you, deep and lustful. You blindly reached your hand behind yourself and felt around for his dick, a small grunt coming from him when your fingers grazed his tip. “Ya’ ready fer me?” He murmured against your lips.
“Been ready since I got here” You sass, dropping down onto your elbows with round hips in the air. “You better fuck me like you mean it”
A hand landed on your ass, Norman’s other still holding up your hair, grip a little tighter now as he burned the image of your arch into his head, the hand he spanked you with spreading your cheek, thumbing your pussy as he pressed his tip to your entrance, greedily sucking him in.
He was big, but you were so wet and dripping to the point he just completely slid in, unrestrained groan coming out his chest as his entire cock was swallowed up and wrapped in your squishy walls, almost immediately starting to find a rhythm with his hips.
Norman’s fingers curled into the fat flesh of your ass, “Takin’ all of m’so goddamn well baby girl, could fuck this pussy for fuckin’ days” spreading you apart so he could watch the way his cock was sliding into you and blissfully stretching you open.
“Pound me already, I thought you were gonna be a meanie tonight” You drawl as you roll your head from side to side, pushing back needily against him.
He gripped your hair at the roots suddenly, yanking it roughly to pull you up onto your arms, almost pulling himself all the way out before slamming right into a sensitive bundle of nerves, mewl of pleasure racking your body as he started to relentlessly and mercilessly thrust into your body, so deep that you thought he was actually in your stomach for a moment.
You gasped and sputtered as he pulled you back by your hair in time with his harsh hips, huffing as he started to fuck you with all his strength. Each slam of his hips sent his cock flying into your cervix, each one leaving you more breathless than the last. “Got real quiet all of a sudden girl. This wha’ ya’ want?”
Norman’s fingers were fisted in your hair, the sound of skin slapping against skin reverberated in the large room, bed quietly squeaking as he railed you, watching how each forward thrust of his hips made your ass bounce, a wet sound coming from where his balls slapped against your clit.
“Yes, Oh fuck yes,” You mewl, eyes rolling back as your toes curled. “Harder, I know you can fuck me so much harder” Norman groans at your words, yanking you back onto your knees flush against his front and wrapping a hand around your throat, dropping his grip in curly hair to tightly grip your hip, jamming the entirety of his cock into your body, poking spots you didn’t even know were there.
He quickly resumed his unforgiving pace, pounding into you so deep and so rough, you choked out small sobs with each hit of his tip, gasping as you started to lose air. It was everything Tyler told you it would be and more, dots starting to cloud your vision and prickle under your skin, clenching as you could feel each thrust send you further and further to the edge.
You can tell Norman can feel it too, resting his sweaty forehead against your shoulder as he starts to lose rhythm slightly, pace not faltering as his cock twitches inside you, so tight and hot, your cunt squeezing his full dick like never before. It made Norman’s head fuzzy and a little dizzy, fueling the buzz he had from the earlier alcohol, though he only had about maybe three drinks total tonight. He was purely drunk off your body, letting out a soft whimper as he throbbed, on the verge of his orgasm.
“Feels so good, don’ wanna pull out of ya’…” Norman mumbled as he rocked himself into you, grunting when his tip nudged against your cervix. “Might just hafta’ stuff ya’ beautiful”
You rolled your head back onto his shoulder, his grip around your throat loosening as you cheekily smiled. “Yes please, let’s make a mess” Norman mirrored your expression before reaching down and capturing your lips in a deep kiss, swirling his tongue around yours.
He pulled his hips back, leaving only the tip in before sliding all the way back inside, hungrily groaning into your mouth as he repeated the action, downright stroking his cock using your cunt. "Jus' gonna let me to fill this pretty pussy? Pump you full of all my cum?" Norman groaned, increasing his pace as his hot mouth landed on your neck, his teeth and beard scraping the skin as he continued his deep strokes, still pounding blissfully into you.
"God yes, give it all to me" You moan, rough fingers coming back up to your hair. Norman forcefully pinned your upper half down into the fluffy sheets, his other hand firmly gripping your ass as he fucked into you like an animal, shoving his whole dick into your cunt from tip to base. You let out a high keen with every unforgiving thrust, each one sending you a little closer to the edge.
Norman huskily panted, whimpering a little as he sped up, this time pulling you back onto his cock to meet his hips as he started to really fuck you, now railing into you with all his strength. Uncontrolled whines came from you, eyes rolling as his hand tightly gripped your scalp, each loud slap of his pelvis against your backside sent you lurching forward, only to be yanked back by the fistful of curly hair.
Your walls were practically milking his cock, so warm and wet around him, greedily sucking him in with every thrust, squeezing the entirety of his length as he increased his pace even more, letting out unrestrained gasps and grunts as his hips begin to stutter in their rhythm. “Fuck m’gonna fuckin’ cum” Norman chokes out, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he groaned with each hot drag of your cunt, cock twitching and throbbing inside you as he fucked himself closer and closer over the edge. “Jus’ keep fuckin’ takin’ me doll, takin’ me so damn well”
His words made you tighten up around him, and it was all he need to fly off the handle, tossing his head back as his hips sputtered, cock slipping out of your stretched hole with an audible pop, Norman softly groaning as he came all over your twitching pussy, suddenly pushing himself inside and letting out a loud, shaky whimper, fingers curling in your hair as he started to fuck into you again, followed by the filthy squleching of Norman’s cock sliding into your ruined cunt, his cum becoming a creamy mess were it was being pushed in and out, dribbling down your folds to your clit where his balls slapped lewdly against.
“So fucking good for me, ya’ve got such a perfect pussy ‘could fuck you all day” Norman purred, dipping his head down to latch onto the skin of your already marked shoulder, sinking his teeth into the flesh and shuddering when he seemed to slip impossibly deeper into you. His hand fell from your hair, both palms falling firmly on either side of your head. "Feels like a goddamn dream" He snapped forward, breathing hot in your ear and gently nibbling on it. One of your hands wrapped around his wrist, helpless gasps falling from you with each drag of his cock, feeling the throbbing veins which each thrust.
Your nails curled into his skin, eyes fluttering shut as your second orgasm built rapidly in your gut, whines of pleasure spilling past your lips. You couldn't even speak, each hard snap of his hips knocking the words straight out your chest. Norman roughly groaned in your ear, hotly kissing and licking at your bare shoulder. You were both so close, it only fueled his animalistic pace as he sped up.
Norman fisted the comforter in his hands, the skin tingling and raw from where you dug into it, little half-crescents decorating the back of his hand, and puffy lines sprouting blood on his arm, sweet sobs coming from you with every jab of his cock. Norman buried his sweaty face into the crook of your neck, sucking and biting the skin, his beard scratchy as he trailed his lips up to your pounding pulse. A breathy, shaky whimper came from him as he stuttered in his movements, pressing himself deep as he spilled into you for the second time, capturing your kiss in a greedy and heated kiss, moaning into each other's mouth as he drew out your shared orgasm.
When he pulled out with a slick pop, softly humming as the cold air hit his cock, you were both thoroughly fucked and completely worn out, panting heavily with Norman still halfway on top of you.
“Are ya' impressed yet?” He huffed out, a smirk forming on his face as he tugged your head back.
With a deep exhale and a small smile playing on your lips, you looked over at him with heavy, satisfied eyes. "I guess I am"
。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
Okay, I absolutely LOVED writing this request. It practically consumed my life lol. I would definitely be open to more reqs like this where there’s a little bit of a plot, even though I already have so many that are unanswered 🥲🥲🥲
I was really nervous about posting this because I’m just not a fan of the ending but at this point all I can do is hope for the best
THAT BEING SAID If people are also interested in sending in more Norman requests… 🥶🧏🏾‍♀️ y’know where to hmu babe
ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY FAV POOKIE TYLER WHO DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS USING HER AS A WAITRESS I LOOVE YOOU BABYGIRL MY OLDER SISSY FR 😝
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
© norman-fucking-reedus 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, or adpated to any other platform. You may translate my works with my asked and given consent.
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indigovigilance · 7 months
Text
When They Became Their Own Side
Can I just say that gif-clipping the scenes to make this meta broke my heart all over again so good job JF, NG, MS & DT.
Anyways.
I'm going to discuss the major contenders for "the scene in which Aziraphale and Crowley became their own side," and then tell you when I think it happened, below the cut:
Identifying the Third Side
By the time you clicked "Keep reading" you probably had a scene in mind. I'm going to predict it was this:
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Which is an extremely strong contender, though frankly this entire scene is filled with character-trajectory changing lines (Satan bless you JF), so I'll take it as within-error-limits if you picked anything immediately adjacent to this.
The reasoning behind it is solid: Aziraphale knows, on a spiritual level, that he is not on Heaven's team anymore. He fully expects to go to Hell. He's ready.
But he finds out that he's not going to Hell. Despite Crawley's statement that nothing has to change, we know that everything has changed for Aziraphale. Neither truly a part of Heaven nor or Hell, he now knows that he occupies the liminal third space, a realm that has been home to Crawley for quite some time. Yes, it is lonely, but maybe a little less lonely than it was before, or would have been; where once there was only one, now there are two. By the end of this scene, they both know that they are on the same side, a third side, and the pain of separation that entails. But being and knowing are different things, and I would argue that Aziraphale was on Crowley's side before he realized it, which means we have to go further back.
The Revelation of Confluence
Maybe you thought of this:
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...and this scene is a great choice, because as of this moment Aziraphale knows (and Crowley knows he knows) that they have a confluence of goals and morals. Every action in the rest of Book of Job is based on the common understanding and trust relationship they establish in this scene. But again, did they need to know that they were on the same side to be on the same side? Their moral compasses would still have aligned and they would still be working for common purpose even if Aziraphale had not uncovered the ruse. I would still say we could go further back.
Establishing Loyalty
Perhaps, trying to beat me to the punch, you went back so far that you went off the page, so to speak, to Before the Beginning:
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A rare but solid choice, and entirely defensible. Aziraphale has just met Crowley and rather than ratting him out or letting him face the very just and deserved consequences that the Almighty would exact upon such a divergent, free-thinking celestial, Aziraphale gives him advice to keep him safe. He is protecting the Starmaker from Heaven, which seems to put him on the Starmaker's side in opposition to Heaven. Aziraphale's first loyalty is to his principles, stretching his proverbial wing over the Starmaker to shield him from the reign of the Almighty, and no, that wasn't a spelling mistake. We see as well that the Starmaker, quite explicitly, puts his principles first. In this way the two are similarly defective (in the sense that they are defectors), but their principles don't strictly overlap here. Neither of them are fully on Heaven's side, but it would be a stretch to say that they are on the same side.
More importantly, the Starmaker isn't really on anyone's side; the Starmaker doesn't even seem to be aware that there are sides! Just a project that would benefit from some suggestions, a fresh point of view. So they certainly aren't on Aziraphale's side. But the fact that Aziraphale has tried to protect them is important, and I will reference it later, so hang onto that thought.
Forming Trust
Maybe you're a real dreamer, and your beautiful brain lighted upon this scene:
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Absolutely brilliant, tumblrite, because Aziraphale isn't even going to tell God that he gave away the flaming sword to a pregnant girl, in fact he'll lie about it to every angel he encounters until the end of days.
But he told Crawley.
Aziraphale puts his fate in this demon's hands when he shares this; after all, what's to stop the serpent of Eden from ratting him out and getting him into Big Trouble? But the thought that Crawley might betray him never seems to occur to Aziraphale, and it seems that his trust is well-placed, because as we know, Crawley will never betray this confidence.
Taken in combination with Before the Beginning, Aziraphale has both kept secrets for the Starmaker and entrusted Crawley with his own secret. This bilateral trust bond is the foundation that "our side" will be built upon.
Nonetheless, up on that wall, Aziraphale still wonders if he's done the right thing, and takes reassurance that yes, being an angel and doing the right thing go hand in hand. After this, Aziraphale will continue to make choices that betray his principles, opting to instead follow the Will of God (see: the Flood). He is on Heaven's side, and whatever Crawley may be, it isn't that.
I think we can safely say that as of this moment, Crawley (besides being head over heels in love), who is already on his own side, is ready to welcome Aziraphale into that space with him, but that Aziraphale isn't taking him up on the invitation yet.
So while it's true that they have a unique bond as of this scene, it still isn't a side.
When Aziraphale accepts the invitation to the Third Side
Sure, Crowley has been on Aziraphale's side since the moment he invented heart eyes in the Garden of Eden, but Aziraphale didn't join Crowley's side until this exact moment:
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We were all a little too busy being pissed at Gabriel for this line to realize that he single-handedly brought together the greatest power couple above or below the Earth.
We are simply not stopping Hell.
What they do is up to them.
Aziraphale has exhausted all his options appealing to Heaven to save Job's children, and in this moment, he realizes (because Gabriel tells him directly) that if he wants to save them, he's going to have to go behind Heaven's back to do it.
Crawley and Aziraphale aren't even in the same room. But Aziraphale, at this moment, has turned his back on Heaven and joined Crawley's team.
Crawley just doesn't know it yet.
But Aziraphale is about to go down there and tell him:
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A few other meta-analysts have written on the topic of equivocation: communicating in deliberately ambiguous ways so that the person across from you understands your meaning and any unseen spectators do not. (I personally learned this term from @cobragardens, in this meta, and @ao3cassandraic's discussion of kayfabe is a closely related topic)
We should interpret the ensuing scene (which deserves a meta all its own, like this one by @majortomyourcurcuitsdead) through that lens. "You don't have to" and "I know you" are all, on their face, harmless statements, but are all equivocation for:
We are on the same side.
Crowley is understandably wary, and isn't about to let Aziraphale know that he's been clocked. But whatever pretense that he was maintaining dissolves right about here:
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Circling back to the top, yes, this is the moment that they each know they know. But knowing that they were on the same side was not a necessary condition of being on the same side. Aziraphale, when he made the decision that any further appeal to Heaven was futile, and that he must appeal instead to Crawley for mercy, had already jumped into the liminal with both feet.
Crawley will try to deny it, but they both know what's up:
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In Summary
This distinction may not be important, but the theme of sides is so strong that this felt like a topic worth exploring.
The argument that Aziraphale enters and exits the third team is also a very defensible one; he will denounce and then rejoin Crowley across the millennia to come. But the first time he makes the decision that he will work with Crawley to collude against Heaven and Hell occurs at the very moment when Gabriel tells him that that is the only remaining option if he wants to do the right thing.
Which raises the question: was offering Satan a contract to terrorize Job, assigning a morally ambiguous demon to execute it, and sending in a renegade angel to thwart it all part of the Ineffable Plan?
I'll let you decide.
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yestrday · 6 months
Note
evilly rubs hands together. may I suggest making derogatory comments w/ them in the room & forcing them to agree with azul from twst as the victim
oh twst... the bane of my existence.... i havent touched u in a long time but ur men has been on my mind rotating like casserole....
( objectifying, collar )
part of an ongoing event!
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╰┈➤ AZUL ASHENGROTTO of octavinelle.
"hm, i think silver suits them far better than gold," you hum, fingering the shiny collar around your toy's pale neck. "suits his hair, don't you think? i just had this one made, and it looks quite charming, if i do say so myself."
the deep blue glow from the aquarium luminates the dim lounge, making it seem more of a bar rather than a cafe. lounging upon its cushioned seats, you idly chat and drink with your friends, all the while enjoying the cling of your cute little plaything.
azul shivers as your friends leer at his collar and sidle up to you, despite the embarassed blush on his face and quivering lips. as he shifts, the slip dress he has on hikes up and reveals his smooth upper thigh, before he squeaks miserably and pulls it down in haste. you laugh as he buries his face in your arm.
"easily embarrassed, is he?" a friend of yours jeers. he tilts the wine glass towards the two of you. "tamed and collared azul ashengrotto, octavinelle's head and owner of mostro lounge. you sure move quick."
"well, that's just what happens to impostors who try to be more than what they actually are," you chuckle, and let the wine trickle down your throat after. "can you believe it? this little thing tried to scam me into a contract after the first meeting— as if i don't have everything i could possibly want."
the groups laughs at the sheer audacity of azul, and the man burns even brighter than possible. he prided himself in being up-to-date with the latest information, and approaching you was the biggest mistake of his life. how could he have let such a vital information slip past his fingers?! it was humiliating, utter—
"ng-gh?!" azul yelps as you tug him by the collar, and he looks up to see that same prideful grin on your face. he wants to hate that stupid expression, the same one you wore when you scammed him. it's the expression of one who was born with it all, but how could he hate it when you looked so dastardly handsome with it.
"father tried to dissuade me from bringing in some nobody from some ocean. you wouldn't have believed the shit i had to do to persuade him." appalingly enough, that brings a flutter to azul's stomach. exactly what lengths did you go to just to keep him? "but i think the investment was worth it."
"i heard about it," one hums. "he's pretty enough... but all that just for him?"
"just?" you chuckle, tugging the collar again and bringing him to your chest. he tenses when he feels your arm wrap protectively around his waist— shudders when you squeeze it— and he instinctively brings his head to rest on your chest. your friends have seen all kinds of men and women drape themselves over you, but not as intimate as this one has. they regard the both of you with amusement— your latest plaything's thighs straddling your one leg and your hand petting his hair and eliciting the faintest of whimpers from him. "come on, you should see how good he looks when he's begging for more. or how shy he gets when he puts on my latest gift in front of me."
"[y - y. name]!" he whispers your name frantically, looking at you with panicked eyes. "the things you're saying...!"
"what, getting shy now?" you tease him, rubbing the tip of ear and watching him shudder. "come on, you're my pet, azul. i only pick the finest. you have the right to know how gorgeous you are despite being so filthy. aren't i, right?"
it's not a rhetorical question. your haughty gaze pierces right into his trembling pupils. you want to show off to these people, and you expect him to comply. he averts his gaze from those eyes. "y... yes..."
you tug his collar again, forcing him to look at you. "louder."
"y-yes!" he yelps, squeezing your leg between his thighs in panic. "you... you pick the prettiest things... i'm..." he blushes, looking down at the body he had always been so insecure of. "i'm no exception..."
you're not insulting him— quite the opposite, in fact, but azul finds no comfort. not with this flimsy silk dress and the predatory eyes on his back. he watches as your grin grows wider.
"of course not," you grin, tracing the shiny new collar and looping your finger around to bring him closer to your face. "and you're the prettiest of the bunch."
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catboybiologist · 21 days
Text
March 2024 documentation and transition journal
Just got my levels results back, meaning that the doc is fully updated for March:
This is possibly one of the most exciting and interesting months of HRT since starting, because I've experimented around a lot with injection doses, so let's talk about that! I'm also slapping a couple of old pics in here for reference, so I'll slap some selfie tags on this.
So, lots of interesting HRT stuff. At my last levels check, I was on 4mg injectable EV a week. And… my E actually went down, even though that’s an effectively higher dose than my previous regimen (6mg sublingual/day). Because of this, I talked with my provider, and essentially she told me to fuck around. I probably was way looser with it than she wanted me to be, but she told me to go to 8mg/week maximum, and try and settle on 6mg/week minimum. So….. here’s what I did.
1 week of 8mg.
2 weeks at 7mg.
2 weeks 6mg, during which my levels were checked at mid.
I… can’t really advocate for this. Basically, my logic was that I wanted to see what it felt like to max things out, but have my actual levels check reflect what I’m like at 6mg to know if increasing or maximizing the dose beyond that is necessary at all. Ultimately, I’ve concluded that 8mg feels too high- I start getting a bit of headache and nausea at peak. 7mg feels very comfortable. 6mg, I felt fucking miserable at trough. When I was on 4mg/week, I used a couple of sublingual pills to try and get through that, but I tried to see if I could stop doing that. It went okay for the higher doses, but on 6mg… ugh. Felt like complete shit. I’ll def be using a couple this week to get through that, probably just 4-6mg sublingual on wed/thurs to make sure I’m feeling okay.
Oh. Also. I ditched Spironolactone, against the advice of my provider. 
I was getting really, REALLY irritated by the diuretic effects, so I quit it when I tried to 8mg dose just to see what would happen. I figured that 8mg would be more than enough to suppress T on its own (likely true), and so I thought it would be the best time to try that. And… when I stopped spiro, a depressive haze that had been in my head lifted very quickly. I thought it was just depression based on a rough past couple of months, and that’s probably true, but it also felt physical. The diuretic effects have also stopped, and I genuinely can’t imagine going back on spiro.
I’ve heard a lot of theoretical stuff about spiro potentially being able to inhibit growth and development. It's possibly a growth hormone inhibitor, but should be a more potent antiandrogen than anyone else. It’s…. Really hard to say whether spiro actually inhibits growth. As with a lot of transfemme physical developments, there’s never been a comprehensive, conclusive study on it, which is why its relegated to miscellaneous anecdotes that everyone will swear one way or the other on. I’ll have some opinions on this later.
So what improvement to my levels did I get out of all of this?
Well…. Good, but nothing radical. My midcycle estrogen is 159 pg/mL, which is about my target for trough. It’s a good step up from the 4mg dose, but I’m probably going to increase to 7mg/week- that felt fine to me, and I’m pretty confident that that’ll be the dose that nails it. I’m pretty deadset on going forward with that, I would just need a levels check to verify we’re all good there. (Side note, I’m a bit frustrated that my body literally seems allergic to just… stuff. Idk if I have an overactive liver or what, but my T crashed super easily, adderall consistently lasts shorter than it should, and my E is really struggling to go up.)
And did this result in any physical improvement? 
I actually think that this last month has been the single fastest month of physical development I’ve ever had. Here’s some things I’ve noticed:
My breasts have become much larger and more developed in relation to my chest, with a much better shape. Comparison pictures to even just the end of January show a wild difference (sorry, not posting that publicly). To be fair, though, I’m still pretty clearly in tanner 2, and I maybe want to wait for just a bit more development before I start progesterone. 
Waist measurement is still going down, and hip measurement is still holding steady. This means that, in effect, my hips are getting wider.
And this is one of the most exciting ones- my upper body seems like its getting smaller. I’m floored by this. My underbust is less, my chest looks noticeably less barrel-y, and my ribcage kind of “flows” into my waist better. I wrote a bit about this on reddit just now, but I think I know what’s happening here. Not only is fat burning from the sides of my chest as it builds on the front of my chest, I actually think my costal cartilage might be getting “tighter”, effectively pulling my ribs a bit closer in to my sternum
I have…. No way to confirm the hunches of that last one, other than the images I can show. So for educational purposes (and y’know. Making the funny women in my phone type funny syllables) Here’s a quick timeline where I think you can see the “barrellness” of my chest decreasing:
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From left to right, we have September (0-1mo), December (3-4mo), March (6-7mo)
Don't worry, my shoulders are just as wide and athletic dyke-y.
Am I delusional? Is this anything? Maybe. Pictures are hard to make consistent with changes this small. But I do feel like its noticeable, and it seems like women’s cut shirts and tanks have fit me in a way that’s a lot more consistent with a cis woman’s body. Again, there’s also nsfw images, and I think they show a lot of progress, and I think I can pretty definitively say that this has been the single month with the most physical changes since, well, my first month back in September. 
Why did this happen? Well, I’m working with a sample size of one here, and multiple variables have changed at the same time. There’s really three things that could be happening: increased injection dosage, ditching spiro, or the general come and go of physical changes. It’s impossible to completely know what’s going on because of this, unfortunately- I’d need way more data. That said…. This is the first new “wave” of development I’ve had since I started, and my actual blood levels didn’t increase that much. I really, really don’t want to conclude anything, but I’m kinda thinking that spiro had something to do with it. It has broad effects on physiology which aren’t entirely characterized, that could easily theoretically be inhibiting generic growth and development. That said, I think starting with a strong antiandrogen is basically necessary for HRT. It’s extremely difficult to get E levels up without robustly inhibiting T first. Obviously don’t take this as medical advice, or even a scientific opinion. This is nothing more than a hunch.
Idk. I’m happy. I feel like I finally am starting to break through the progress stall I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with. And I think getting the proper injection dose actually worked to break through it. I’m feeling a lot better with my transition in general too. I won’t elaborate much here, but I’ve been coming out to a lot more people, and its been tentatively going about as well as I could ask. We’ll see what the future holds, but I’m excited about it.
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drconstellation · 4 months
Text
Taking Things At Face Value
This post is dedicated to all those Ninas out there, who are "just enjoying the show."
I have been pondering an problem that had come up for a second time in another meta I'm writing (I left it out of an earlier one for clarity) regarding acknowledgement of identity and faces in S2, but when you keep running into the same road-block, you have to tackle it head on. Then I ran into the exact same problem a third time here, and the beginnings of this meta has sat in my drafts file staring at me for several weeks while I've been doing other things. But finally, finally, the answer has come to me, while being kept awake by a passing thunderstorm at 1.30am.
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MRS SANDWICH: You're a good lad. CROWLEY: I'm not actually, either. But thank you.
Let's start with this exchange between Crowley and Mrs Sandwich, after Crowley has led all the Whickber St shopkeepers out of the ball to apparent safety. She calls him a "good lad," and he denies it, but thanks her anyway, and gives her a charming smile. We all know Crowley hates being called 'nice' and the last time he did something 'good' he got dragged down to Hell for punishment, so it seems like an odd thing to happen.
But the thing is, while Mrs Sandwich is complimenting his actions, he is responding about his appearance - that is neither 'good' (i.e. he is a demon) or a male human (i.e. he is an supernatural non-gendered entity.)
At this point you might be going "yeah, yeah, we know, we get that! Move along op..." but this matters, as you soon will see. We should also note that neither Crowley or Aziraphale judge Mrs Sandwich for being a brothel madame (how Aziraphale does not know this when her shop is just over the road from his I will never fathom, but there you go) and Crowley is actually quite charming all-round to his parallel character (prostitution and demons going hand-in-hand - er, not literally. But they went out the door as the vanguard arm-in-arm, though.)
The Metatron turning up at the bookshop in person is the next scene on the cards. Firstly, archangel Michael doesn't recognize him, but Saraqael obviously does.
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Now, I know I'm guilty of saying that Michael may have had their memory adjusted at some time, but I'm going to suggest something else at this point. Saraqael knows who this is, because they have just had a fresh reminder from watching the recordings of Gabriel with Crowley and Muriel. And Saraqael is a pretty smart angel, so lets give them some leeway on this one. But for Michael, well, they are in the same situation as Aziraphale. They have only seen the Metatron as giant floating head without a body, so don't associate him with this appearance before them, and also because he has a beard.
Just before you jump on me and say "But he had one in the recordings!" yes, yes, I know. Two things, though, I want to bring to your attention: angels are not supposed to have facial hair,* and he doesn't have any in S1 (I checked!) and he also makes the comment "This calls for much less attention, though." Yeah, well a giant head floating through the streets of Soho would be quite a sight, wouldn't it, even though they had already been treated to the view of Gabriel's royal rear-end. Aziraphale had only met him once before, as a giant floating head in S1E4 who had had to introduce himself, so we could surmise this is Michael's problem as well, even though they were at Gabriel's trial. This is backed up by a tumblr ask/answer from NG as well, where he said "I think because they normally see him as a giant floating head, and not as a little man in a raincoat."
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MICHAEL: Um, and who are you? METATRON: For Heaven's sake. And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? Well, uh, what about you? Demon? Do you know me?
Demon. That is what the Metatron chooses to call Crowley in that company, and we know in hindsight that he knows Crowley's name - as does Uriel, and Gabriel. Even Muriel learns it. But they don't use it, at least not in S2.
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Even more notable is that the archangels don't deign to him give the respect of using his chosen name at all. He's not not even their enemy at this point - he's beneath their notice altogether, even though they are in the same room. Only Aziraphale seems to acknowledge his existence, instinctively trying to reach out to him as he passes by.
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To Nina, people are coffee preferences.
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To Mrs Sandwich, they are desires that need servicing.
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So then question I had, and that stopped me, was why did both Crowley and Gabriel question Beelzebub about their new face?
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It stood out to me because you don't normally make an obvious comment about the change of actor for a character, and to do it twice - !! You can't ignore that. No meta writer should ignore that. There is a trope term for this, actually, called "lampshading," which means to intentionally call attention to an incongruent situation within a story before moving on, but in a show where nothing is an accident, this seems a bit trite to me. Eventually I realized that this was the whole crux of the problem to me - that while we all too readily take things at face value, its not the faces that really influence us, its our internal values.
In the case of Beelzebub, Crowley recognizes the demon, their power, and their identity via the flies without any doubt; he merely comments on the change of exterior appearance. In terms of value, he knows straight away he's dealing with someone dangerous, no matter what they look like. Gabriel, on the other hand, is judging the book by its cover, and because he doesn't recognize the new cover, he needs proof of which demon he's dealing with, or maybe if they are even a demon at all.
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"Bravo," says Nina, "Just enjoying the show." She's already seen a few that week, not to mention just in the general flow of life as a shop owner involved with customer service. If you've had any sort of life in a customer service role I'm sure you've got a few stories you could tell of things you've seen or experienced as well! I know I can.
The conversation between Nina and Crowley after Aziraphale walks away is amusing for all the assumptions Nina makes about them based on what she's observed that week, but also because Crowley tells the truth every in every reply to Nina, and yet she still has no idea what he's really saying. But her judgements, based on her experience and values, still manage to drop the proverbial ton of bricks on his head so badly he slinks off to sooth himself with some alcohol while he thinks about it instead of catching up with Aziraphale to continue being the angel's nameless shadow.
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This problem with judging people on previous experience and not on who they actually are is everywhere in S2.
It's Ennon treating Aziraphale, an angel he's never met before, as a slut.
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It's Elspeth judging Aziraphale on his accent.
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It's Mrs H. giving a powerful demon a blistering tongue-lashing because she thinks he's a just simple human black marketeer.
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It's Crowley refusing to call Gabriel "Jim" because he believes Gabriel is faking it.
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...and so on. These are just a few examples. I'm sure you can spot a few more.
Which brings us back around to the meeting of the supernatural Councils in the bookshop in S2E6 and Crowley's "invisibility" to the other angels and demons gathered there. A demon to the archangels, an arch-traitor to the demons, why would they want to acknowledge him? Once he restores Gabriel, he becomes rank-less and faceless to them because they don't need him any more - its basically an act of celestial racism.
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Nina and Maggie don't really know any better, they still think Mr Crowley and Mr Fell are just, well, "partners." OK, so maybe they've been doing some weird shit the last few days manipulating things in the neighbourhood but they're still obviously a couple a group of the two of them in their human eyes - and neither do they seem to care that they seem to be mlm, either. No judgement there.
A number of times I've seen ops say they've been watching GO with family members who are seeing it for the first time, and the family member thinks they are just "close friends." Why? Because they haven't seen S2 and the kiss? Because they haven't verbally said "I love you" to each other? Do they really need to say that to prove their feelings for each other? Is that just your values creeping to the fore?
And where did you get your values from?
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Sometimes you need to stop and question why you think what you think. I'm not just talking about religious indoctrination. Some expectations put on us by by society at large can be insidious. Expectations around how gender should act, the life purpose of a gender, your worth to society if you don't meet certain unspoken standards, age-related behaviour, social norms around alcohol consumption, the way they dress, what someone eats, the way they eat it, that you must be seen to be productive, or busy...take your pick for whatever is prevalent around you at the moment and for your culture. Just start by noticing, and being aware.
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Yes, it is pointless, because demons and angels all come from the same angelic stock. There was a bit of a disagreement at one point and they split into two groups, and judgemental labels got applied to them. They are both still bureaucratic horrors. Which ever side wins the final battle, humans still lose.
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Mortal humans all look the same inside, too, if you take their face and skin away and take the societal labels off them. We forget that about ourselves all the time.
There doesn't have to be any wibbly-wobbly timeline stuff going on to explain things. What ever happened to the concept of Occam's Razor? The simplest answer is usually the correct one. And that was what I realized in the middle of the night - the cliche I had used to title this was the answer. It's about being aware of those ingrained, instinctive, judgmental values that you don't realize you've learnt, and looking past the faces that you meet.
*oh lawdy, I'm giving strength to all of you who want to believe he is a demon then, aren't I? But do demons have facial hair either?
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oneshlut · 5 months
Note
Ok, ok ok… Can I request Yandere!Dr. Flug x Fem!Reader, please? You describe the reactions of the characters so interestingly that I wanted to write to you, but already about the yandere doctor. Thank you in advance, you are amazing.
A/N: oooh yesyes!! thank you sooo much for the compliments, they mean so much to me !! yanderes are some of my favs to write, thanks a bunches for requesting! (also, whamo! mitski ref in the title!)
Bag of Bones (Yandere!Dr. Flug x Fem!Reader) [Headcanons]
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Rules For Requesting
Characters I Will Write For
Masterlist
WARNINGS: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Mentions of bl0od, d3ath, lethal injections, execution, and t0rture, Subjects like toxic relationships, kidnapp!ng, posessive/obsessive behaviors, and toxic worshipping and degrading(on his part), General dead dove contents.
Summary: Yandere headcanons for Dr. Flug with a Fem!Reader. General hcs for kidnapp!ng, crushing, etc.
Someone like Dr. Flug definitely seems harmless. Pathetic, wimpy, and afraid. Labels that have been given to him all his life. Labels that only you never assigned him. Well, he's never lived up to those names. Not completely. Underneath his trembling form hid a dangerous man, who could kill you at the snap of his fingers if he really wanted to. Not like he would! You do have to remember, though, that he still is a villain. For plenty good reason.
But, yes. I'm sorry, but the moment he realized his murderous lovesick tendencies, you've immediately set yourself up for danger. Flug would never hurt you, but he's not saying he wouldn't hurt anyone to have you.
With the baseline of knowing he is sick, twisted, and much more than he seems--lets dig more into how he behaves, shall we? He's quite tame with you at first. If you didn't know any better, Dr. Flug would be as normal as ever in your eyes. He's pretty good at bottling up his obsession. This definitely comes into play as his obsession with you grows stronger by the day.
He's unsure of his feelings towards you at first. Dr. Flug soon recognizes it as love, and he can't get enough of you. He begins with small signs, such as asking you for help in his lab when he really doesn't need it. You also notice that he just happens to show up in the same room that you'd walk into. You viewed it as nothing but coincidence.
Flug grows increasingly worried for you as weeks pass, him still relishing in this new feeling. Unfortunately, this feeling did come with a bit of.. protectiveness, on his part. He still wanted you to visit his lab, yes, but.. maybe he could make his lab a bit more safe? Dr. Flug didn't want you to get hurt by something of his creation. The only thing worse than that would be if someone else hurt you. Which wouldn't happen. He hopes so, at least.
One day, though, he made a mistake. Flug had let you go on a mission with him, and a hero had hurt you. Whether it was a major or minor injury, he didn't care. Someone hurt you--your soft, delicate skin, your sweet smile, the sparkle in your eyes.. your eyes seemed dull now. And something in him sparked a fire that was trying to burn for weeks now.
Suddenly, the normally panicked mood that hung over his mindset completely disappeared. He didn't have time to overthink ever little thing he does--not now. But he didn't want to.. strike, not.. yet.
When Dr. Flug gets mad, he gets scary. Not in the way he was almost constantly angry with Demencia, no, this was a.. spiteful anger. That's the anger that made him the most dangerous. As mentioned before, he could choose when he wanted to be dangerous at any moment. And that moment was now.
Euthanasia could work, but it was too.. painless. Maybe something a bit more lethal would be better. He decided to create his own serum. If he injected the syringe with it in just the right spot in the neck, the hero would be suffering for hours. Perhaps days.. They would be gasping for air they couldn't receive, practically chugging their own blood, yet forced to stay awake during the whole process. Perfect, was it not?
Okay, he may have gone a little bit overboard. But in the end, he knew it would be worth it. You never found out. Why would you? He was much too careful for that. Dr. Flug simply played along, hearing the hero's name announced dead on the news with you. He played a fool, acting surprised. And it was enough to fool you.
Afterwards, though, he felt amazing. To completely get rid of someone's existence.. it was freeing. And the hero deserved it, anyway. The only obstacle in the way now was the challenge of having you to himself. With Dr. Flug's self-esteem, this goal was made generally impossible.
Though, a new idea came to him. A horrible, new, great idea. If Flug wanted you to himself, there was only one other way that came to him. There's no way you'd like him back, he was probably still pathetic in your eyes. So instead, he chose the more obvious choice of just whisking you away. Chloroform should do the trick, right..?
Waking up in Flug's dimly lit lab, tied to an office chair, not remembering the past 12 hours of your life was.. an experience. A horrifying one, at that. What did you even do to him that would make him want to kill you? You were nothing but nice to him, and.. part of you was actually starting to grow attached to him. You started to regret ever becoming a villain in the first place..
That was, until Dr. Flug tried his best to calm your nerves, explaining how he didn't want to hurt you. You could almost hear the sorrow in his voice, almost like he was hurt that you would even think that he would ever want to harm you. Noticing you were now significantly more calmer than before, he began relishing in the fact that you were now his.
Off the bat, he begins overloading you with compliments. Now that you know he likes you, he starts treating you like some sort of goddess. Ignoring the fact that he's holding you hostage, he treats you pretty well! He brings you in 3 meals a day from outside, gives you a warm bed to sleep in at night, all so that he makes sure you know he loves you. Another thing Flug does is make sure 5.0.5. doesn't see you. This portion is a bit difficult, but he gets by, and 5.0.5. just thinks you must've moved away. How peacefully ignorant.
For now, he intends on keeping you here until you gain some sort of stockholm syndrome, or until he finds a better place to keep you without the risk of you escaping. You find yourself wondering how long you're gonna last here.
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thesakuragarnet · 5 months
Text
Say My F*ck!ng Name (Spies AU)
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Summary: Dabi feels the need to prove his loyalty to his partner.
THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY! S3XUAL TAGS WILL BE HIDDEN BELOW THE KEEP READING BUTTON!
Non-Spicy Tags: Dabi X Fem! Reader, 3rd person POV, swearing, alternate universe (spies and secret agents), heavy smvt, smvt, established relationship
Word Count: 1,512 words
AO3 link
Spicy Tags: dom/sub, dom top Dabi, d0ggy style, over$t!mulation, vag!nal f!ngering, vag!nal s3x, quirk use during s3x, multiple 0rga$ms, praise k!nk, teasing, 0ral s3x, cunn!l!ngus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her heart was racing. She couldn't find the briefcase. She'd looked everywhere. Under every seat on the plane. In the other hotel rooms. It was nowhere. She looks under the bed in her hotel room, making one last-ditch effort when she hears a pair of boots click behind her. 
"It's right here." His gravelly voice purrs as she stands up and whirls around. It's Dabi: her partner. Her lover.
"You mean to tell me you had it the whole time?! Are you even on our side anymore?!" She snaps, and, suddenly, his amused expression turns into a cruel, haunting stare. 
"Are you really doubting my loyalty to you?" He slowly asks, taking a dangerous step toward her that almost makes her fall backward onto the bed. 
"Uhh-I-" The woman stutters, but Dabi cuts her off, harshly grabbing her by the sleeve of her jacket. His face is mere inches from hers. 
"I guess I have to show you just how far I'll really go for you, princess," He chuckles darkly, and, in a split second, he's all over her. His hands harshly grasp fistfuls of the back of her leather jacket, threatening to rip it from her body as they passionately kiss. She sheds the jacket without breaking the kiss as he slips his warm tongue into her mouth, and his hands find their way to her breasts before he firmly grabs the edge of her tank top. 
RRRRRIIIP!
The sounds of ripping cloth cut through the air as Dabi tears the clothes right off her body, throwing the shreds over his shoulder as he unclasps her bra and tosses that aside as well. He breaks the sloppy kiss, shrugging his leather jacket off. 
"Clothes off. Get on the bed," Dabi commands without hesitation as he starts removing his shirt, and she hurriedly takes off her pants, barely slipping off her panties in time for her boyfriend to pounce on her. A deep, raspy laugh echoes through the room as he forcibly spreads her legs, his fingernails digging into her thighs as his alluring blue eyes gaze up at her; his lips are only a few inches away, purposefully teasing. He sighs, letting her feel his hot breath against her slit, and she shivers beneath his possessive stare. 
"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want me to do something?" He smirks mockingly, pretending to be confused. His partner practically squirms, loathing the tension Dabi's drawing out. His eyes flicker from the lewd display in front of him back up to her face. 
"I don't think you're quite ready for that, yet," Dabi slowly sneers, taking his time as he climbs up over her until they're face-to-face, his hands on either side of her head. She sharply inhales as his tip brushes up against her clit, and Dabi's eyes show pure amusement. 
"You're really that down bad, huh, princess?" Dabi snickers before planting a lustful kiss on her lips. Slowly, he plants kisses down her chin to her neck, his warm tongue delicately tracing over her skin as he drags his rough hands down her body, stopping at her breasts. His girlfriend winces in pain as he sinks his teeth into her neck, biting just hard enough to not draw blood as his heated fingertips play with her nipples. A moan escapes her as he marks her skin until a trail of maroon splashes and bitemarks leads to her chest. Dabi stares up at her with a look of obsession as he starts sucking on her tit, teeth grazing the nipple as he continues to torture the other one with his fingers. Slowly, Dabi snakes his other hand down her body, and his partner gasps when she feels his fingers sliding up and down her cunt. He immediately pulls away from her. 
"Oh, you're definitely ready," The scarred man remarks curtly as he backtracks, pulling her to the edge of the bed as he gets on his knees. Before she can react, he pulls her legs over his shoulders and effortlessly plunges his tongue inside her, making her cry out his name. Her fingers run through his black hair as she feels the sweet combination of the cold staples pressing up against her inner thighs mixed with the indescribable warmth of his mouth. Dabi fluidly flexes his tongue, groaning at her taste as his eyes flutter shut. He replaces his tongue with two of his fingers, curling gently inside her as he presses his lips to her clit. Dabi's partner crosses her ankles behind his neck, locking him into her, and he swirls his tongue deliberately. His name falls from her lips, pitching higher and higher as he feels her tensing up around his grip. 
"Come for me, baby. I'm not gonna stop until you do, and even then I'm not gonna fucking stop," He hurriedly mutters between sloppy, torturous licks, slowly pumping his fingers inside her. 
"TOYA!" She screams her love's name in pleasure, hands turning to fists in the sheets as her body practically convulses with the climax. Dabi's eyes roll back into his head as he immediately grabs her stomach with his other hand, hungrily lapping her up like a starving animal. His girlfriend turns into a stuttering mess, her cheeks flushed and her body shaking as Dabi continues overstimulating her. Her rapid-fire high-pitched sighs slow down as he stops, clearing his throat before slowly slipping his fingers out of her. His partner trembles beneath his passionate gaze, staring up at him with wide eyes as he purposefully sucks his fingers clean of her and wipes the slick off of his mouth with his arm. 
"So fucking delicious," He huffs before standing up, giving her full view of his arousal. 
"Turn over. I'm gonna let you muffle your screams. You're not gonna be ready, but you're gonna love it," Dabi growls, and she complies, her body shaking as she gets on all fours. She cries out as he pushes into her inch by inch until they're skin to skin. His fingers trace down her spine, just hot enough to not blemish her skin, subtly threatening, yet, simultaneously representing intense trust. Without warning, his hips snap against her, his thrusts deep and intentional. Before she can scream, his hand wraps around the back of her neck, forcing her face into the pillow. 
"Safeword is water. Don't let me suffocate you, princess," Dabi pants loud enough to ensure she'll hear, and he sees her spastically nod beneath his grip. He squeezes her neck once before letting go, moving his hand back to dig into her thighs as he ruts into her. He can hear her muffled curses and moans. 
"Lemme hear you say my fucking name," He growls, picking up the pace as he lifts up a hand, spitting on his fingers before reaching around to rub circles on her clit. 
"TOYA!"
The word is unmistakable, even with the pillow, and it makes a cruel smirk spread across Dabi's face. He loves hearing her say it. She's the only one who's allowed to. He maintains his rhythm as he feels her tightening up around him. 
"Come for me. Be a good girl and come for me. Fuck, I love watching you fall apart. All for me," He groans lustfully, and he hears her faint moans growing louder and faster. He needs to hear her. Dabi reaches for her, tightly gripping her shoulder and roughly pulling her toward him so that her back is up against his chest. 
"Such a fucking good girl. Let it all out. Let those pretty little noises out for me," Dabi commands as he bends down to suck on her neck, one arm draped across her chest as he holds her up against him while his other hand continues to stimulate her swollen clit. His girlfriend moans over and over, and he breathes his name in as it falls from her lips. Dabi feels her clamping down on him, and it sends him over the edge. Slowly, he rocks his hips to a halt before pulling out of her, still keeping her locked in the safety of his arms. He leans back, slowly lying down on the bed, bringing her down with him as he nuzzles into the top of her head. She's shaking, practically stuttering from the overwhelming pleasure. She's impossibly warm and impossibly enamored. 
"Shhhh," Dabi hushes, releasing the harshness of his grip and gently rubbing her arms, trying to coax her down from the high as his own brain fog clouds his head. 
"W-we have to m-meet-" His partner starts stammering, and he turns her to face him, gently silencing her with a kiss. She melts into his tender embrace, hands lovingly tracing the scars on his arms and chest. Dabi breaks the kiss, his glowing cerulean eyes gazing into hers. 
"They can be on our timetable. We're the ones with the case. Get some rest," He murmurs, reaching down to yank the throw blanket over the top of them. She rests her head atop his chest, falling asleep to the sound of her lover's heartbeat. 
91 notes · View notes
Note
Hi, I really like your Spirit Hunter Headcanons! I saw you wrote one for NG with the guys reacting to reader getting hurt. Is it alright if I request a version of that but with the Death Mark characters?
I've got you~ And I'm very happy to see more Death Mark/NG requests <3
・┆✦ʚ Mashita Satoru ɞ✦ ┆・
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🚬 One would think Satoru is the most apathetic of the bunch, but in reality, his sense of justice and moral compass are still up there.
🚬 At his core, he will always be a policeman, and any wrong-doing will anger him internally.
🚬 He has lost everything during the Honey Bee Cult case, when his mentor was killed, and he got so close to the truth that he was kicked out of the police force under sexual harassment allegations, and his credibility and job opportunities were denied.
🚬 In spite of all this, he found a friend in Yashiki, and he treasured you more than anything in life.
🚬 You were there for him through all the hardships he went through, and he is infinitely grateful for your endless support and love.
🚬 That is why I say, when he finds out you've been cursed, he is devastated, as though the sky fell on him.
🚬 He found you on the ground in the forest while he and Yashiki were searching around for Shimi-O.
🚬 He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw you - He left you at home, why were you here? He couldn't be hallucinating, could he? So what is going on?
🚬 What's worse, not only did the Death Mark flash brightly on the soft neck of your skin, as if to taunt and mock him, but your clothes had subtle tears - But what is worse, they were bleeding.
🚬 He's not one to panic quickly under pressure, but you can bet Mashita is livid.
🚬 If it weren't for Yashiki calming him down and suggesting to get you back home to Mary and have Christie look after you, while the two of them purify the ghost and make sure everyone is fine.
🚬 Satoru held you dearly in his arms all the way back to the Manor, his grip a little too tight - He was afraid, deathly afraid, but not for himself, but for you.
🚬 He'd never forgive himself if he allowed you to die, when your life was in his hands like that.
🚬 What kind of reliable policeman would he be? His mentor would be disappointed if he failed you and himself like that.
🚬 He placed you comfortably on the bed he slept on while Yashiki told Christie not to tell you anything about the Mark; There was no need to worry you for no reason, especially as the scar was in a place you couldn't notice easily.
🚬 Though he knew he had to worry, Mashita lingered for a few minutes more - He couldn't stop looking at you, he felt weak, he blamed himself for dragging you into all of this, especially as the only reason you got cursed was that he forgot his gun at home.
🚬 Not only was it incredibly irresponsible of him, but he also willingly got himself in this mess, in hopes of unveiling the truth behind his mentor's death.
🚬 After tucking you in bed, Satoru kissed your forehead and took one last look at you, before pushing himself off the bed and quickly leaving the room, before he'd feel tempted to just get next to you and hold onto you until Yashiki solves the issue by himself.
🚬 He was much quieter and snarkier with Yashiki, even he was well aware he was much more of a menace than usual, alas there was nothing he could do about it.
🚬 Your well-being was above anything else, for him.
🚬 His rage, complimented by the extreme memory loss caused by Shimi-O, made for quite a weird iteration of Mashita, but regardless, with a simple slap, he was capable of helping Yashiki to purify the ghost.
🚬 Though Kazuo himself wasn't rid of the curse, you and Mashita, along with Shou, were able to return home with no more issue.
🚬 You didn't know why exactly your boyfriend was so clingy and mellow, but you didn't mind it one bit. It was a lovely change of pace, for the otherwise teasy man.
🚬 It would take a few days before he confesses to you the truth of what happened that night - And more than that, he thanks you dearly for compromising your life to bring him the gun, as without it, he and Yashiki wouldn't have been able to defeat the ghost.
🚬 He'd get very annoyed if you got smug with him for being so tender - But he'll get over it fast, don't worry - You just need to bat your pretty lashes at him and kiss him like there's no tomorrow.
🚬 He won't necessarily get overprotective after this encounter, but he will take all proper precautions going further into his and Yashiki's little 'Ghost Hunting Business'.
🚬 He might be reticent to you joining them for field work, but he'd be more than happy if you were to help with intel. You're safe, and he's reassured. Perfect!
---
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Daimon Shuuji ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
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🩺 By the time Daimon gets cursed, he's already 44 years of age and chronically single and ill, so he resigns himself to the idea he will remain forever married to his work and succumb to loneliness and sickness.
🩺 When he gets cursed, however, he finds a new will to live - It's the human's natural response to danger, right? Fight or flight - Or at least, that's how he rationalises it.
🩺Not only that though, but also, his morbid curiosity with his grandfather's work in the Engineering Lab during WW2 and whatever atrocities happened down in the bunker hidden in the sewers of the city.
🩺That - And he's always been impressed by the supernatural, and now, he gets to experience it first hand - If only it wasn't life threatening, it would be much more enjoyable.
🩺It was here that Yashiki introduced him to a scientist women called Hiroo Madoka, whose grandfather was also involved in similar work to his own family... Though she's rather annoying to deal with, and thankfully, in spite of his kind demeanour, Yashiki is also of the same idea about her.
🩺But there was one more - He met you - Someone closer in age to him, who's professionally accomplished and so very beautiful; Not only beautiful, but so very and sweet, while also being effortlessly confident and radiating an aura of reassurance like the Sun.
🩺He couldn't help but feel attracted to you like a month to the light, caring little about getting burnt in the process, like the fool Icarus, flying towards the Sun with his waxed wings.
🩺How could he not gravitate around you, when you made him feel revitalised, no more the zombie of a man he accepted to being for so long.
🩺You worried for his health, told him to take better care of himself, even threw an off-comment about cooking him a nice soup and cutting up a fruit salad so he'd get more energy.
🩺Daimon was flabbergast - Did he truly deserve any of this? He knows he's not the most amicable person alive, yet you don't seem to be offended or intimidated by his coldness.
🩺During the whole investigation, you are the reason he stays sane and has hope for the future - A future with you.
🩺You weren't overly assertive, yet through your kindness and positivity, you made your intentions clear; He loved just how well the two of you understood each other, without the need of words.
🩺He was absolutely mesmerised by everything you did.
🩺From the time when you braved through the hypothermia and drove him back home - Only to see that the heating and water were being closed for the week because of reparations - So you invited him to sleep over at your home because it's extra warm.
🩺And how you nonchalantly told him you have a single bedroom, so you'd have to sleep together - All that, while he was suffering a bad case of tachycardia and his face had a feverish colour from too much emotion felt all together - But you? You were so nonchalant about it, wearing your pretty lingerie pyjamas, leaning on the heater and drinking a little alcohol to warm up, and inviting him to do the same.
🩺In those few days he got so used to living with you, that he almost felt disappointed when the day of the encounter came by and you got rid of the curse and had to part ways.
🩺He was there to watch you take the Suzu Bells and step up, confronting the Kannon Soldier all by yourself - He didn't know whatever Shinto or Buddhist mantras you chanted there, but by the time you started yelling at the ghost in Chinese, and ended it by slamming the wand into the side of its head and it disappeared into a splash of brightness, he felt as though he just watched a movie, because everything felt unreal.
🩺For the next two years, the two of you have such a domestic bliss, Daimon feels it's unreal that someone thinks he's not as unsufferable as he thinks he is, and by the way you smile at him so sweetly, he believes you are just as happy as he is, living together.
🩺Though when Yashiki goes ghost-hunting again, both of you are willing to help; Daimon remains in the hospital to care for Hiroo and Banshee, while you go on-site to aid him and Mashita with investigation.
🩺He knew both men would take care of you, and he knew you were strong and witty enough to take care of himself and succeed in this new case;
🩺Alas, when you are brought to the hospital, in full hysterics, Shuuji panics for the first time in his life - What in the world could have shaken you to such degree, that you lost your cool?
🩺After Mashita explains the three of you were blocked in an elevator filling up with a bunch of huge spiders, even he cringes, especially knowing your clear aversion and disgust towards them.
🩺As much as he cares about the two special patients in his care, he's going to take the week off to take care of you.
🩺He'll hold you close and try to reassure you to the best of his ability; Though he's known as not having the best bed-side manners, he's so unexpectedly tender and sweet, that Yashiki thought it was another person altogether.
🩺He'd make you warm honey tea and suggest watching any of your comfort tv series or movies, and he'll kiss your face so gently.
🩺There's not much he can help much to help you relax, except get some sedatives if you're going into panic mode again, but regardless, there's nothing he wouldn't do for you.
🩺When you're finally better, he'll feel so relieved - He was so worried for you and your mental state, that he'll be fussy over you for a long time going on.
---
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ Yashiki Kazuo/Kujo Masamune ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
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🐇 It's needless to say, you and Yashiki went through a lot together.
🐇 From the day you got cursed, until you managed to purify the ghost with Yashiki's help, and got all better.
🐇 You decided to stay until the very end to aid your partner with the curse - But if not even the Kannon Soldier cursed him then... Could it have been Mary...?
🐇 Yashiki was protective of all the mark bearers he encountered, you most of all, so when he regained his memory, he made sure to keep everyone at a safe distance so he can deal with Mary himself.
🐇 You were the only one who knew the truth of the Doll, so of course, you worried over his well-being; But he still wouldn't step back and allow you to help him, it was far too dangerous for anyone else.
🐇 So, to reassure you, he promised to take you out on a date by the time he's some with the Doll; And he vowed to also tell you the truth and his memories.
🐇 Thankfully, that evening, you receive a text from Yashiki, with the details of your date the next day, namely the time and place.
🐇 You're so excited and happy that he's alive, that you can't contain your joy, and you call all the mark bearers to tell them that Yashiki is alright and he finally got rid of the curse - And decide to celebrate together, of course!
🐇 What was supposed to be a private date became a private party for the Death Mark survivors - And although he was bewieldered, Yashiki was beyond touched by your act.
🐇 Still, you still had to go on that date - And when you finally did, he told you all about his real identity, as Kujo Masamune, about his sister, about the Doll Mary, and what not.
🐇 And for the next two years, you had a beautiful relationship, with Mashita as the wing-man.
🐇 But when the two of them went to investigate the Masquerade Love Hotel, you got worried; Can't he stay out of trouble, for once? Those two are searching for an early death sentence.
🐇 So of course, from your worry stemmed overprotection, and you insisted in joining them in the investigation.
🐇 Unfortunately, because of your personal relationship with Yashiki, and your spiritual-proneness, you were the first prey of the Jirogumo spirit.
🐇 Not only were you forced to experience first-hand the memories of the poor, tortured girl who was forced to ingest a living spider crawling down her throat with those furry legs, but you felt all of her horrors.
🐇 Once you came to, your mind was in shambles, and you shrieked, running the hell out of that perverted torture den, aimless and confused;
🐇 Thus, you ended up wearing only your pretty lingerie, on a dusty bed, slamming your boyfriend on the bed to seduce him into sleeping with you.
🐇 At first, Yashiki was shocked out of his mind - What the hell happened to possess you like that? You were never this straight-forward, let alone to do something so vulgar and lustful in public; But then, he noticed the spider web sticking to your back.
🐇 As soon as he ripped it away, you fell limp in his arms like a marionette, deep into a coma that he knew wouldn't get away unless the ghost was exorcised.
🐇 He quickly dressed you back in your clothes and called for Mashita to help him get you to Daimon under constant care.
🐇 The whole time, he was out for revenge - Yes, he pitied the poor ghost girl, but he pitied you more; Not only that, but were it not for Mashita, he also would have died, plunging out of the window.
🐇 Who was going to take care of you, if he dies?
🐇 He was going to fight even God himself, if it meant saving you; So there was little a silly little malevolent ghost could do, that would deter him from his path of purifying it.
🐇 Even Mashita hadn't seen him so on-edge and boiling inside from rage for allowing you to get hurt and possessed like that.
🐇 The otherwise moral compass and spine of the group was almost shaking with anger, and it was terrifying.
🐇 He even cursed once! Yashiki - Cursed!
🐇 When the whole charade was finally over, he rushed to the hospital to see how you were doing.
🐇 Thankfully, you didn't remember a single thing of those traumatic encounters, and he wasn't going to tell them to you either.
🐇 He just told you you collapsed suddenly because of low blood sugar, and Daimon gave you some glucose IV and a good rest.
🐇 Though you didn't fully buy it, it was clear he wasn't going to tell you the truth, so you let that be.
🐇 Surprisingly though, he asks if you want to go on a date with him. At home, watching a movie and drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace.
🐇 He's as much of a gentleman as always, or even more so.
🐇 Although he's sometimes awkward when expressing himself, holding you tightly to his chest does wonders in non-verbally telling you how terrified he was for your well-being.
🐇 For his sake, you don't ask about the investigation, just settling to being happy it was over.
🐇 Instead, you decide to promise him that you're not going anywhere - You're a tough cookie, and will always be by his side.
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littlemissayu · 9 months
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“Miss me Darling?”
Yandere!Ace Trappola x Fem!Reader
TW- yandere tendencies, unhealthy obsession, noncon(implied), kidnapping, k!ll!ng, pregnancy
Key - D/N - Your Daughter’s Name, H/C - Hair Color, S/C - Skin color, R/N - Random Name, M/N - Your Mom’s Name, F/N - Father’s Name
Side Note: I do not consent to this behavior; it is unhealthy, traumatizing, immoral, and mental. I only write for enjoyment. I would never wish this unto someone else.
Prompt – It was a sunny August Afternoon, when a certain Trappola came to reclaim his family…
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Sun Shining through the window, the smell of freshly baked bread & cupcakes fill up your nostrils and beautiful white marble kitchen. Your 9 year old daughter, d/n, came into the kitchen as she had smelled the goods baking all the way from her bedroom. “Hey mom, whatcha baking?” she says sitting on a stool. “Some bread and cupcakes” you respond in a calm tone “Ooo how come you don’t usually bake?” your daughter questions. “Well you remember the Franklins right?” you questioned your daughter in response to her question; “of course I remember them mom, we have been hanging out with them ever since we moved, it's a shame Nana Rita is in the hospital” your daughter answered. “Yes well, when I went to visit Nana, you were in school, and she said she missed the homemade cupcakes I brought when she and her family had that welcoming party for us; so I offer to bring some to her and she was quite happy, so I asked the hospital and now I’m here explaining it to you”.You explained to your daughter. “You always make people happy, I admire that in you mom and ALMOST everything about you, especially with…..you know ... .dad…” your daughter admitted. You had told your daughter why you two were constantly moving when she turned 7 because you knew she wouldn’t listen if you didn’t.
9 years ago…..
 It was your second year at Night Raven College, you were 17 years old. You had a great life, a loving family, great friends, great school, stunning grades, and an amazing boyfriend. You had met your boyfriend, R/N, over the summer in a park that was only a 3 minute walk from your house.You ran into each other when you had been watching your little cousins. You left that park thinking he was really cute but you’d never see him again, but by fate you had met him again at a dinner at your house; turns out he was the son of your Dad, F/N’s, New Partner. It has been a love story ever since then. 
It was perfect, dates every Friday, hanging out at lunch and free periods during the school day, and since your family approved and loved your relationship your families would have dinner together every Sunday. It was a dream…. until it wasn’t. Ace was your childhood best friend, you two always hung out, people sometimes thought you were a couple and when the two of you would deny the suspicion you got  vibe that he wanted to be lying about that but you thought you were just reading into it too much, that your mind was messing with you. Once you started dating R/N though, everything changed.
You two rarely hung out, only talked once every 2 - 3 weeks on the phone, and you spent almost all of the school day either hanging out with your boyfriend or in class. It wasn’t like it was on purpose though you just got so caught up in everything around you, you weren’t able to clear your schedule for just him. You never payed much mind to the fact you didn't spend much time together and you thought he was doing just fine until one day you found out how he truly felt.
You were on your porch watching the clouds, waiting for your boyfriend to come pick you up since the two of you were going on a date, one you’ve been planning for weeks since it was your 1 year anniversary, you had a gift that you were so excited to give to him. ‘That’s weird he should have been here 10 minutes ago’ you thought to yourself. He was supposed to pick you up at 8 but now it’s 8:10, and if there was one thing you knew about your boyfriend is that he is never late no matter what. ‘Maybe he thought we were supposed to meet at 8:30 instead of 8:00’ you concluded hoping that would be the case. You decided to take a short walk around the corner, if you showed up while your gone he could call you or wait til you got back.
You quickly snap out of your thoughts when you heard two familiar voices, then a scream.
Your heart dropped to your stomach, you heard the voices of your boyfriend and best friend. You swore that it was them and then you heard your boyfriend scream, you dropped the bag and his present and ran towards the voices, screaming his name.
But you were too late, you had witnessed something you never thought you’d ever witness; the dead body of your boyfriend and your childhood best friend standing over his body covered in blood holding a machete. You stood there frozen in horror, you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t move, you didn't know what was going on inside your head. All that you knew was happening is that as you try to process the image of his dead body Ace begins approaching you. Right before Ace can get even an inch closer you ran, you ran faster than you ever had before, you were trying to get back to your house so you can get inside, lock the door and call the police. You couldn’t run to the police station because you didn’t remember the directions. Once you're at the porch you had been pretty sure you lost him, until you realized that you had dropped your bag earlier which had your keys inside the door locked because all your family had been out the house.
Black comes into your vision, he had knocked you out and thrown you over his shoulder.
Present Day…
You could remember everything clearly the night he kidnapped you to the day you made your escape, it was all crystal clear in your head. You remember the day you found out you were pregnant right after the day you got so close to giving up and accepting your fate. You realized you wouldn’t want that life for your child so you got out of there had your baby girl and raised her right. Here you are after moving over 10 times you had settled in your little apartment, you didn't think he'd find you. You just assumed that he had given up and searching for you and his obsession with you had just stopped.
The doorbell rang. “That must be Theodore, I’ll get it” You told your daughter, she nodded and went to sit on the couch. Theodore was Nana Rita’s oldest grandson, he was about 19. While in his first year of studying abroad he found out his grandmother was sick and immediately rushed home to help take care of her. While Nana Rita pestered him on going back and living his dream she finally let him help when he said he could go to college at any time but she could leave him any day so he didn't wanna waste a single moment with her. Theodore was probably one of the sweetest men you have ever met; not only did he help his Nana but he would also watch d/n while you were out.
“Hey Theo, I was ju-” You stopped, your eyes widened larger than a dinner plate. You let go of the knob standing there in awe, fear, dread, misery, anxiety and a million other feelings. Your mouth went dry, your vocal chords went stiff until you finally managed out “A-Ace” You asked in horror. “Hey Baby!! Did you miss me?” He says with that classic sadist smirk and the same earrings that were meant for your first love, the same ones you’re wearing now…
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v3nusxsky · 1 year
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Darling 18+
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*A/n~ I’ve never written smut before and this is my first fic I’m posting here so any pointers would be appreciated*
Prompt~ reader is teasing Larissa until she snaps giving into her own wants. Smut fic.
Tw~ NSFW (finger!ng) (sub reader/dominant Larissa) (mommy k!nk) (spank!ng) (swear!ng) (eating out) (thigh r!d!ng) (strap)
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Fingers tugged at your hair absentmindedly throwing it up In a bun on top of your head. Pieces of your fringe fell to cup your cheeks as you sighed. Today had been nothing short of stressful. You love your job, of course you did but that didn't mean it didn't come with its own challenges. You'd been teaching outcast history at Nevermore now for 3 years, so of course you knew certain points in the semester was hell. The teaching itself is wonderful, you love passing on your knowledge to your students. You can't help but find it fascinating to talk about of the different kinds of outcasts, the challenges they face, how they came to be and the relations between Outcast and Normies. But the paperwork? Now that was tiresome and quite frankly boring as hell. But still you did try your best to stay caught up on it so it didn't take all the joy from your days. However the past few months really you'd neglected your paperwork in favour for something else. Or rather someone else.
A certain stunningly tall principle offered a great distraction these days. In fact she's the reason you had paperwork overflowing from your desk. Over your years here you watched as a tentative friendship blossomed between you and Larissa. Often most weekends you'd go to her office to drink wine and relax by the fire. It's one reason why you have grown to long for the weekends. Recently those evenings had included some harmless flirting between the pair of you. It was no secret you had eyes for the fairer sex however when you found out Larissa was the same you honestly choked on the wine you had swigged. You hadn't expected her to be interested in women or well rather anyone. If anything she seemed married to her job. She loved Nevermore and it's students more than anything else. It was endearing to see the determination and care she put in every day to be the best principal Nevermore had ever seen.
You made your way to the desk and decided to start from the bottom. This way you knew no matter how much you managed to complete tonight before you passed out from exhaustion, you wouldn't miss any deadlines. You're classroom was peacefully silent apart from the gentle scratching of pen against paper. You couldn't help but allow your mind to wonder to your boss. After all you were completing these with the upmost care making sure everything was legible, aiming to reduce the stress she would have. You'd spent many night's listening as she would whine about messy plans submitted from teachers. Your mind wandered to the previous night. The flirting had an affect on you, you were starting to think Larissa knew that. Secretly enjoyed flustering you. You couldn't help the small smile that overtook your lips as you recalled one of your favourite moments. You were sitting in a comfortable silence watching the flickering flames dance together. Only when you'd taken a big swig of your wine did Larissa lean over and whisper in your ear "you look absolutely ravishing love" causing you to cough and splutter on the wine as a bright red blush adorned your cheeks. Larissa couldn't help blur chuckle are the response you gave. It pleased her to no end knowing she had this effect on you.
As if the women on your mind knew you were thinking of her, your phone lit up with a text from her.
"Y/n can you come to my office? I'm feeling quite stressed and I would benefit from your help." You know what they say curiosity killed the cat, that's why you found yourself walking the familiar route to her office. Paperwork forgotten. Once you reached her doors that clearly stated "principle L. Weems" on a thick golden plate, you didn't even know you just pushed the doors open slightly, just enough for you slip through the gap before shutting the doors. Turning around you could see that the women had her shoulders tensed up, eyes fixed on the paper as she concentrated and her left hand balled into a fist as her right carefully scribbled down on her own work.
"Larissa?" You whispered only wishing to alert her to your presence and not spook her when she was clearly concentrating.
"Ah y/n! Please do come here darling." You couldn't help but freeze and blush at the pet name. Larissa seemed to be in a strange mood this evening as when you didn't move she barked at you in a stricter voice that was normally used with her students "now y/n!"
You couldn't help but quickly scurry to stand in front of her bowing your head in a form of an apology. "Uh sorry Larissa, what did you need?"
"Darling, I've had a stressful day" there was that name again, and you knew this fact already. I'm fact you'd had to send two of your students to her office for their behaviour today. "Now I'm sure you noticed we have a special kind of relationship and you can tell me if I'm wrong here but I think it could extend to more than friends and more than boss and employee wouldn't you agree dear?"
Eyes blinking rapidly you processed what she'd just admitted. She wanted to be more than friends? Excitement rose through you as you nodded in your agreement. "Darling, words please" she whispered holding your gaze. "I um I agree Rissa" you diverted your gaze to find your shoes not being able to contain the flush spreading over your cheeks. You had to be dreaming? Right? "Perfect! So love why don't you come and help relieve this stress?" The thickness in her voice and the glint In her eyes showing you just how badly she wanted you. God this had to be a dream. But no way would you turn this down, even if you'd wake up in an extremely frustrating state.
"Wha-what um what can I do to help Rissa?" Eggar to please the women you would only go as far as she wanted. You stood, head still tilted down waiting for instructions. Suddenly the tilting of your head wasn't to hide your blushing, no it was that of submission. Unknown to you this pleased Larissa to no end. You almost dropped to your knees at her command. And the commanding tone? God you are a goner. "Come sit on my lap pet" moving to straddle her lap you rested your face in the crook of her neck. Her scent was that of floral and honey mixed together. You went limp allowing her to readjust you as she deemed fit. A little shaken breath escaped you your aching centre rested against her toned thigh.
"Now little one, I have to finish some work and your going to be a good little one and rut against my thigh hmm? I know you need me y/n. I can practically smell you as you drip onto my thigh. Before any of that I need to know you want this. If you don't this can stop now and we can just talk." The last part of her words sounded slightly unsure like she was expecting rejection. But that wouldn't come. You wanted her. Needed her. And most importantly you wanted to help her destress. If this was what she wanted the hell you'd happily allow it for as long as she was willing. You managed to whisper out a please which caused the women to smile and tap your hips, silently giving you permission to follow the order you'd been given. Your hips slowly rocked against her thigh, teasing yourself not that you needed to but If this was a dream then you wanted it to last forever. Soon enough whines of need and pleasure we tumbling from your lips and into her neck. Breath ticking the little hairs there. You could feel how you were soaking her strong thigh, you picked your pace up subconsciously as you grew closer to your peak. Movements become more desperate and needy as she brought a hand to your waist, fingers finding purchase there hoping to slow your movements. She was almost done and although she could let you fall over the edge now, she didn't want to. She wanted to see you as pleasure took over your every thought.
Pen now thrown down against the desk, you had her full attention as you mewled against her neck "fuck mmm Rissa I need"
"Oh darling I know what you need. But you have to earn it. Don't you want to be my good girl?" She husked out placing a gentle kiss to your head as she brought her over hand up to fully still your hips. Fuck you could cum just by that statement. You stood up on shaky legs allowing your breathing to attempt to steady itself.
"Little one, kneel" and you did just that. It was embarrassing how quickly you followed her commands. You knew you seemed like a pathetic slut but truthfully for Larissa you are just that. Normally you wouldn't submit so willingly.
Kneeling in front of her chair, face to face with her panty clad sex you couldn't help but wonder what she'd taste like. You drew your bottom lip between your teeth at the thought. Unknowing that Larissa was watching every action closely. She shifted her hips and removed her own panties as you went wide eyed. Your pupils dilated as you were now looking at her dripping pussy. You were taken there and then. The unbearable urge to just dive in between her gorgeously toned thighs. You looked up at her through your eyelids silently begging for permission to do just that.
You looked so desperate there fully clothed, hair messy and eyes clouded with desire. She couldn't help but being her hands to find purchase in your hair, giving you all the permission you needed. Larissa took a sharp breath as you gingerly licked around her soaked pussy, teasing her and just getting a taste. She was your new favourite flavour. Nothing you'd ever tasted compared to this. You'd happily eat her for the rest of your life. As you continued to explore with your tongue you were able to gage what was having the best effect. The kitten like licks lavished her clit had her gripping tighter in your hair pulling you closer in a silently plea for more.
"Fuck y/n please stop teasing me" she whimpered out between breaths. Taking this as your cue you finally allowed your tongue to explore inside her lips. The taste so much stronger caused you to moan and clench your thighs together. Wanting to be good for her you tried to ignore your own desire. Suddenly confidence overwhelmed you and you plunged two fingers into her sopping pussy, causing her to cry out a strangled moan. You were pumping your fingers in and out at a brutal pace, the primal need to make her cum driving you. Her breathing was irregular moans tumbling from her lips as you felt her thighs start to shake, tale tale signs to keep going despite the burning in your arm. You brought you mouth to her bundle of nerves and sucked. Hard. Which was what helped Larissa let go and cum hard all over your fingers that were still buried in her sex. You could feel her walls fluttering around your fingers as you helped her down from her high. Tugging on your hair was pulling you away from her, causing you to whine in protest. “Tsk, darling you are going to pay for that I thought you were going to be good for me hmm? “
"I'm sorry I just I wanted you to feel good i-"
She cut you off "I don't wish to here excuses. Y/n come lay over my lap... now!" The commanding tone once again had you falling over your own feet in an attempt to comply as quickly as possible.
You felt your dress being lifted up to your hips and your panties striped from you. The cold air hitting your pussy causing a small gasp.
"Count little one, I want you to be a good girl for me okay ?"
You nodded and waited for the blow that you knew was coming. Surely enough a firm well placed smack to your right ass cheek as you gasping out "fuck o one"
"Ow two"
"Th three"
"Oh fuck me four" your voice was quivering now as tears strolled down your face, dripping onto the floor.
"You're doing so well darling just one more okay such a good girl for me"
"F five fuck me mommy!" You all be screamed out your word's echoing off her official walls. The women underneath you froze hearing your last word. However your sluggish brain still hadn't quite caught up on what you'd said. No all you could think about was the stringing of red flesh and your own needy dripping pussy. Larissa brought her hand to rub firm gentle circles on your back as you collected your breathing. God this women would be the death of you. She'd not even touched you properly yet and yet here you were minutes away from begging her like a desperate whore.
Larissa brought you so she was able to see your face. Her thumbs wiped the stray tears that had fallen as she was overcome with the desire to kiss you. A needy breathless kiss that made you week at the knees. The kisses trailed off to your cheeks, your neck and your ear before she whispered what was quite possibly your new favourite sentence. "Can I fuck you love?" You nodded embarrassingly quick as you watched her move around. Seemingly finding what she wanted she went and locked the office door, just in case. You blushed knowing it hadn't been locked. You were lucky it was out of school hours, so no students would be around. You were captivated as Larissa stripped down slowly before slipping on the harness. A dark red colour sporting a red dildo. You were relieved to see it was roughly average size and girth. Knowing how sensitive you'd be anything bigger would've destroyed you. You didn't realise you were starring until fingers clicked in front of you. "Thought I lost you there little one, now strip. I want to fuck you" it should've been a world record for how fast you rid yourself of your bra and dress. Larissa chuckled at your eagerness and helped you up to sit on her desk. You watched with a desperate interest as she lined the toy up with your centre. Thrusting in once causing your eyes to roll back your head and your back to arch as you adjusted to her size. She was busy peppering kisses up and down the tall of your neck and over your collar bones. She knew you needed more when your hips jerked forward desperately seeking more. Only then did she pull out of you almost all the way before slamming back into you. Settling a delicious but ruthless pace. You're moans were uncontrollable by now. Loud and mumbled becoming in coherent as you began the climb to your own climax.
“Little one, if you wish to come beg me" Larissa husked at you breathing irregular due to the labour of her harsh movements.
"P pl easeee Larissa I need to cum let me cum." You all but cried out
"You're so pretty when you beg my love but same my name."
"Risaaaaaa fuck me please oh god I can't"
"No little one say. My. Name." She all but growled out at you making sure to keep you teetering on the edge of your own climax that your body desperately desired.
"Oh fuck me mommy please mommy please I need you" and with that Larissa brought a hand to your clit causing your body to throw you over the edge. Moaning desperately as you rode out your orgasm. Sweat covered your body as she pulled out of you gently causing you to whine and collapse back against the desk. Concern flashed through her eyes. Had she been too rough?
"Darling are you okay?" The concern Evident in her voice.
"Mhmmmmmmm I mm " you managed to mumble out fighting your exhausted body. Larissa had fucked you so well your body and brain couldn't keep up.
Sensing that she'd done a good job Larissa chuckled and pulled you into her arms carrying you to her quarters next door.
"Oh look at my little one, mommy fucked you well mmm?" There was a hint of pride in her tone which caused a sleepy hmm of agreement from you. You were curled up against the principle desperately wishing hoping you weren't going to wake up and this only be a dream. Exhaustion was seeping through your bones as your stubbornly tried to fight it, just in case this was a dream you didn't want it to end.
"Sleep now little one, I'll still be here when you awake darling" the soothing words and tone was all it took for you to allow sleep to take you.
Word count~ 2983
*A/n ~ never wrote smut before all that was definitely an experience such a long chapter I hope it's not too terrible for you guys*
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