#what am i doing look at the length of this thing

[propertyofwicked]

FIRST - LN

lando discovers his bestfriends little sister is a virgin, and will stop at no lengths to change that (and ruin her for anyone else)

warnings: smut!! MDNI!! virgin reader, fewtrell!sister, mostly soft smut with a small innocence kink

✧ it's officially assignment szn and ur girl is STRESSED. my posts wont be as frequent for a while but i am currently creating a backlog of things to post! ✧

masterlist the playlist

“ok, y/n - truth or dare?” ria asked the girl from across the circle they sat in on the floor of max’s living room.

being so close in age to her older brother, y/n fewtrell fit in well with his friendship group, often preferring to hang out with them over her own friends. a few others were dotted around the house, P and a couple girls using the kitchen. they were all due to head to a club soon, only using max’s house to pre drink as he lived closest.

“truth,” she responded, giggling slightly as the alcohol began to turn her tipsy - not drunk, just jolly she had told max when he last checked on her.

“where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” ria asked, giggling to herself at the rest of the group laughed, turning to face y/n for her answer. she went silent, heat rising her face gradually. her eyes scanned the group, everyone staring expectantly at her - only max avoided her gaze, looking at his phone to queue songs to the playlist.

“i- uh, well i guess i…haven’t?” she replied, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. she didn’t know why she was so embarrassed - she was 19, almost 20, and it seemed that everyone around her was coupled up, or at least active in that department. and, it hadn’t been through lack of trying, every man she had almost been with had found out and used it to get to who she was related to - and subsequently, lando - or gave her the ick before they got the chance to.

“what do you mean you haven’t?!” niran had laughed out, he hadn’t meant to laugh, he just couldn’t believe it.

“i ju-”

“ok can we stop quizzing my little sister on her sex life? please,” max interrupted, y/n sighing out a breath of relief when they finally moved to the next person. her eyes scouted across the group of people, glad to see them all distracted and no longer giving her the sympathy eyes over her pathetic excuse of a love life.

in her embarrassment, however, y/n missed the way lando’s eyes had darted to look at her when she had answered, missing the way they darkened slightly at the revelation. he shook the thoughts plaguing his mind away, focusing on keeping his face neutral as he watched the blush rising her cheeks.

she didn’t miss the way his eyes followed her as she snuck out the room, however. she’d hope no one would notice her sneaking into the kitchen, smiling at P before swiping a bottle of something and heading to the garden, legs landing gracefully to sit on a step.

this was not the first time she had dwelled on this, but this time, she could at least comfort the blow of her overactive brain by drinking - or so she thought. as not a moment after she’d removed the cap, the bottle was being snatched from her hands and closely inspected by a man towering above her crouched body.

“this smells like ass, y/n - are you sure you wanna drink it?” lando asked her, lowering himself to sit on the step next to her. the sky was darkening, stars filling the vast blackness.

“yes im sure, thanks dad,” she mocked him, arms reaching over to snatch the bottle from him, but once again, he moved his arm out, stretching the bottle further from her reach.

“nuh uh!” lando said, shaking his head, “only when you tell me why you intend on drinking what im sure is the finest bottle of… £3.99 vodka - jesus, £3.99?”

“sorry mister ‘owns-2-mclarens-and-a-lambo’,” she replied, leaning further into his side in a desperate bid to get the bottle back - she wasn’t even sure she wanted to drink it anymore, she just wanted something to fiddle with when lando eventually forced her to talk to him.

“didn’t answer my question, darlin’” he told her, placing the bottle besides him as he removed one of his threaded bracelets, placing it in her exposed palm.

oh he knew her a little too well.

“i jus- no it’s so stupid,” she conceded, the bracelet twisting around her fingers. she stared directly at it, refusing to meet lando’s intense gaze.

“bet it’s not,” he told her, moving an arm to wrap around her when he felt the chill air brush his own skin.

“you know what’s worse than having to announce to your friends that you’re a lonely little virgin that no one wants? being the lonely little virgin. it’s so fucking embarrassing - i’m 19, hell i’m nearly 20 and when everyone around you has someone in their life, it’s so hard not to feel so behind in your own life, to feel completely unlovable, to constantly feel like there’s something wrong with you,” she breathed out, still refusing to make eye contact with the man besides her.

lando took in a deep breath, choosing his next words so carefully. his hand reached up to her chin, turning her face to look up at his.

“y/n, you are not unlovable, you’re not falling behind in life and there is certainly nothing wrong with you,” he told her, his tone harsh in attempt to knock some sense into her. she shook her head at him in disbelief, his hand dropping back to his side.

“see, i really want to believe you but the evidence isn’t really stacking up in support of your argument. if that was true, i probably wouldn’t be sat in my brother’s back garden throwing myself a pity party.”

“i think your brother might’ve had a part to play in this, if im honest y/n,” lando said, slipping up slightly. she paused at his words, before her head shot round to look at him again.

“what? what do you mean max has something do with the fact no one wants me?”

“it’s not that no one wants you, y/n,” he sighed at her again before giving in, realising he’d already said too much to stop now, “it’s just that max has a bad habit of… threatening anyone who even mentions you in that way?” he added, his tone making it sound like he wasn’t even sure himself.

“threatening them?” she repeated, anger beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

“he’s only actually hit 2 of them - hell even ive had a close call with his fist a few times,” lando laughed, before realising what he’d indirectly admitted to. luckily, neither of them had time to dwell on it before the man in question popped his head round the door.

“what are you two losers doing out here?” he joked, before sensing some tension being thrown his way, “whatever, we’re leaving in a minute if you wanna get ready?”

“no thanks,” y/n told him, pushing herself up and beginning to walk past him.

“huh?” max replied, confused.

“i said, no thanks. wouldn’t wanna risk you punching anyone who shows the slightest interest in me,” she added, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him. she turned quickly on her heel, walking off, ignoring the group as she trailed up to the spare bedroom.

the two boys shared a look between them, lando’s face holding that of apology whilst max’s was gradually moving to infuriated.

“what did you tell her?” max asked him, jaw clenching slightly.

“i didn’t mean to,” lando replied, throwing his arms out slightly as he stood up, “i just thought she ought to know that the reason boys don’t go for her is not because she is completely unlovable.”

“she said that?” max asked, startled slightly at the comment, “she thought she was unlovable?”

lando said nothing, throwing a simple nod at him before brushing past him and making his way to the front door.

y/n laid in her bed, her mind racing through the conversation with lando, like a record on repeat. she’d heard the rest of them leave the house almost an hour ago, leaving her to lay with her own thoughts once more.

there was nothing wrong with her, max just threatened anyone who came too close to her.

max had punched 2 guys who had tried to get with her.

max had tried to punch lando - wait, why had he tried to punch lando?

the sound of the front door opening, then quickly shutting again drew her from her thoughts, a natural panic spreading through her veins.

“hello?” she called out, confused as to who could be walking in the house right now. there was no response for a moment, the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs filled the silence.

“it’s just me, baby,” a voice called out, the childhood nickname letting her know it was lando approaching her bedroom. the name used to be max and lando’s attempt to tease the girl, calling her a baby when she cried after dropping her ice cream. that was when she was 7, but 13 years later, the nickname still stuck. somewhere along the line, the name had turned from mimicking to a term of endearment, blurring the lines of their friendship every time he called out to her.

“oh thank god, i thought you were a murderer,” she joked, her breathing easing as his head poked around the door, eyes meeting hers.

“you thought i was a murderer and chose to shout ‘hello’? brave, or stupid?” lando joked back.

“never let them know your next move,” y/n replied with a shrug, before noticing the way one of lando’s hands remained hidden behind the door, “whatcha got there?” she asked him, the way one would ask a dog who had something they shouldn’t.

“depends, are you gonna be nice to me?” he shot back.

“me? im always nice to you, lan,” an innocent smile built on her face.

“tell that to the scar on my back.”

“tell the scar on your back to get over it, it was 10 years ago,” she snorted as he moved further into the door frame.

“no ice cream for you then,” lando replied, smirking at her as he shrugged.

“you got ice cream?” she asked, eyes widening at him.

“thought you might wanna watch a film and forget about tonight with a flurry.”

“gimme,” y/n said, making grabby hands that would’ve been embarrassing had she not already had the worst night of her life.

“nuh uh, not until you’re nice to m-”

“oh get over here you drama queen,” she groaned at him, patting the spot next to her on the bed. lando would never say no to her, giving in so easily as he climbed under the blanket, an arm falling naturally behind her head as he did.

he began fiddling with the tv remote, scrolling through netflix for something to watch. y/n leant further into his embrace, her head settling lightly on his chest as she looked up at him.

“lan - why didn’t you stay at the club?” she asked quietly, fighting the urge to fiddle with her fingers, nervous at the thought of insinuating that he’d want to spend his evening with her instead.

“clubs are only good when you’re drunk,” lando replied with a shrug, eyes still focused on the tv, “id rather just be the designated driver and still be able to get up for training in the morning.”

his eyes flitted down at her quickly, glad she’d returned her gaze to the screen as if he’d seen her wide eyes staring up at him, lando doubted he’d be able to control himself. what she’d revealed earlier still flew around his brain as he fought desperately to shake away any thoughts of taking her innocence, ruining her for anyone else. god, he felt like a creep.

the two fell into a comfortable silence, both of them appearing to focus on the film playing in front of them. lando’s hand remained tightly around her waist, his hand moving beneath her shirt slightly for his fingers to trace circles into her skin. her head remained on his chest, each breath taking in the lingering smell of his aftershave.

“lan?” she broke the silence again, looking up at him once again.

“yes, baby?” he replied, eyes never straying from the screen.

“what did you mean earlier when you said max had even tried to punch you?”

his head shot down to look at her, feeling himself crumble slightly as her eyes stared widely up at him, her tired voice drawing him further into the trap. he could lie, tell her it was a misunderstanding. or he could tell her the truth, and pray it didn’t destroy his entire friendship with the fewtrell siblings.

“when you told me i wasn’t unlovable earlier, you really meant…” she asked, filling in for his silence. she trailed off at the end of her sentence, unwilling to get her hopes up.

“yeah.. so about that,” he said, trying to regain his confidence. she hit at his chest lightly, pushing herself to sit up and look at his face clearer than ever.

“how long?” she asked him with unwavering eye contact.

“longer than i want to admit,” lando replied, smiling at her awkwardly, “and i understand if you don’t fe-”

“kiss me.”

“wha-”

“you heard me,” she told him before joining their lips apprehensively. it started off slow, both testing the waters before falling into a steady pace. his tongue swiped her bottom lip softly, deepening the kiss as his hand raised to hold her jaw. she stifled a moan, embarrassed at the way her body was reacting to the slightest touch.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he told her, hands dropping to her waist, “come ‘ere.”

lando’s hands settled on her hips, fingers gripping at them slightly to guide her onto his lap. as she settled into the new position, he kissed her again, gentle in the way he pulled her in closer, his free hand disappearing under her shirt to draw circles into her skin once more. her hips instinctively rolled into his at the feeling, and he gripped at her skin harder, a small groan escaping his mouth.

“fuck, keep that up and i won’t be able to stop,” he warned her as she rolled her hips again. his head dropped to her jaw, pressing soft kisses along the skin.

“what if i don’t want this to stop?” she asked him, causing him to pause, looking up at her softly.

“are you sure?” he asking, checking her face for any sign of hesitancy. she nodded at him before speaking.

“there’s no one i trust more.”

with her reassurance, lando flipped the top of them over, trailing kisses down her neck as he hovered above her.

“we’ll go slow,” he told her as he pulled at her t-shirt, tugging the fabric up her torso, “wanted this for so long. gonna take my time with you,” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to the skin of her stomach. her back arched into him slightly, helping him remove her top fully. y/n felt exposed, more so than usual. had it not been for lando’s large hands snaking up to grab at her breasts, she would’ve used her own to shield her nudity.

“so gorgeous,” he mumbled again, before dipping his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth, tongue flicking at it, his fingers tugged at the other. he pushed himself back up, re joining their lips in a sweet kiss.

“gonna make you feel good, alright?” he asked her, watching the way her head nodded at him, “yeah? need you to use your words from now on baby.”

“think you should take your top off now,” she told him, her confidence returning slightly, “seems a bit unfair,” she added, jokingly pointing at her own exposed chest.

“so it is,” he agreed, sitting back on his knees as his hands gripped the bottom of his own t-shirt, lifting it over his head. the material landed on the floor, but y/n couldn’t care less - she was much more focused on the way his muscles looked, a combination of his tan and the soft fairy lights illuminating his features in a way that had her stomach rolling for him.

“oi! my eyes are up here,” he joked, settling himself between her legs. lando’s hands trailed up the exposed skin of her thighs, dragging his fingers slowly. her hips jutted up slightly at the sensation, a satisfied smirking fighting its way onto lando’s face.

“this ok?” he asked her, hands toying with the waistband of her shorts.

“yeah,” she breathed out, anticipation beginning to get the better of her as he began pulling the material away from her heat.

“tell me to stop and i’ll stop,” lando told her, discarding her shorts with his top, before adjusting his gaze to her, “just relax f’me. breathe,” he added, noticing the way her chest had frozen, breath caught in her throat. a finger ran through her folds softly, her hips rolling slightly at the sudden feeling of his rough finger pad circling her clit. his movements stopped for a moment as he moved back up her body, kissing her softly as he gathered her slick along his fingers.

“so wet for me,” he told her, kissing at her jaw, “gonna get you ready for me, ok?”

“please, lan,” she begged, panting slightly as his fingers circled her heat again, pressing into her slightly. it’s not like she hadn’t done this before on herself, which was potentially her downfall the moment he pressed a finger into her, the stretch unexpected. lando’s face pressed into her neck, kissing a trail along the skin as he pumped his finger a few times. he could hear every noise she made for him so clearly, drawing him to push a second finger into her, feeling the way her walls clamped around him.

“im ready, lan, please just fuck me,” she begged him, panting in between her words. he could’ve passed out her words, blood rushing from his brain and straight to his cock. his body pushed back up, standing quickly to remove the rest of his clothes. her hands halted him as they reached out and grabbed at the waist band of his joggers, pulling them down slowly as the pressure of his cock strained against the tight material. he helped her remove them fully, her spare hand adding difficulty as she palmed him through his boxers.

“fuck, angel,” he groaned, careful not to overwhelm her as she pulled at his boxers, tugging them down as she had his joggers. however they soon established his noises were not as overwhelming as the size of his cock - her eyes widening as she came face to face with it, her finger running down the thick vein that travelled his length.

“like what you see?” he joked in attempt to ease her nerves.

“how-? is that gonna fit?” she stuttered, gaze travelling down to her stomach as if she were trying to size herself up.

“im sure we’ll make it work,” he replied, hand reaching to her chin, forcing her to look back up at him, “remember, we can stop whenever.”

she nodded at him, before reaching up, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. he used the leverage to lay her back down, hovering over her once again as he rested on his forearm. without breaking the kiss, he reached down, guiding his cock through her folds a few times before settling the tip at her entrance.

“you sure?” lando checked again, searching her face for any last minute apprehension.

“are you sure?” she retorted, her smile illuminated by the moons glow, “can’t imagine fucking a virgin is high on your bucket list.”

“you’d be surprised,” he responded, mumbling slightly, his cock throbbed in his hand. he began lowering his hips, pushing into her slowly, low grunts falling from his lips as he disappeared further inside her.

“breathe baby, breathe for me,” he told her, feeling the way her body had tensed, her chest stilling as she inhaled deeply, “feel so good.”

lando waited a moment, watching the way her face softened, his necklace dangling dangerously around her lips. he started moving at a gentle pace, careful to listen to her responses.

“feels good,” she told him, eyes looking into his.

“yeah? ‘my the first person to make you feel good?” he asked, baiting her slightly.

“yes, fuck lan. only you.”

he close to lost it, his brain short circuiting at her words. he began to move faster in her, relishing in the way she moaned his name, her walls contracting around his cock. his hand reached between the two of them, fingers flicking at her clit before drawing pressured circles around her heat.

“faster, lan, please,” y/n begged him, her hand raising to tug at his curls.

“gonna ruin you for anyone else, angel,” he grunted, hips snapping into hers at a brutal pace, his eyes focused on the way her breasts moved in unison with his thrusts.

lando felt his high coming quicker than he could ever remember, feeling the way her grip on his bicep tightened and her breathing became more sporadic letting him know she was close too.

“you wanna cum with me?” he asked her, his tone soft whilst his pace remained rough, his fingers beginning to trace his own name on her clit. it gave him a sense of ownership over her, an invisible trace of him that would linger on her sensitivity forever - and she loved it, whining at the feeling of his skin on hers.

“please, fuck. wanna cum,” she told him, eyes shutting as her head rolled back. lando’s head dropped to her exposed neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before he titled his head further, mouth landing on the flesh of her breast. he’d quickly realised that leaving visible mark on his best friends little sister was potentially not the smartest idea, choosing to nip at the skin of her tit, mouth sucking the flesh into his lips as he did. his raised himself up again, admiring the way blood ran to the surface of her skin, only imagining the way she’d look when a bruise formed on the spot.

“only me?” he asked her, hand moving to grip her jaw, dark eyes locking with hers.

“only you,” she replied in a breathless moan.

“good girl,” he said, feeling the way her hips rolled up into his, heat running through her entire body as her climax washed over her. y/n shook around him lightly, her stomach spasming as she rode out her high, but lando couldn’t stop and admire the view. he pulled out quickly, feeling his own high rising in his cock, both of their eyes glued on the way his cock shot out ropes of cum that landed on her stomach.

“so….” she started, trying to fill the somewhat awkward tension in the room.

“we are so doing that again,” he said with a chuckle and he moved to locate his joggers on the floor.

“oh absolutely,” she replied, laughing with him as the fear of him leaving her washed away, though her eyebrow quirked up at him as he shuffled to the door.

“just grabbing a cloth. gotta get you cleaned up so we can finish the film,” he added with a smile.

minutes later, they were both sat back in the bed, her legs thrown over his lap as one hand grazed the skin of his back lightly, lando’s hand running up and down her thigh in a similar fashion. they sat in a comfortable silence, knowing that eventually they would need to discuss the future of this, the future of them, but for now lando relished in the way her hand continuously stroked at the same spot on his back. the same spot - he internally questioned.

“watcha doing?” he finally asked, curious to her supposed fixation on his left shoulder blade.

“apologising to the scar on your back?” she retorted, circling back to their earlier conversation.

“never apologise for anything ever again,” he mumbled into her hair, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“what if i murdered your entire family?” she piped up.

“i support women’s rights and their wrongs.”

“preach.”

-

✧ inbox/requests are open ✧

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #propertyofwicked #maxfewtrell #fewtrell!sister

[literaryavenger]

Careless

Summary: Part 2 of Thoughtful.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Reader

Warnings: My poor attempts at being funny. No use of Y/N. Fluff. Angst. Tony being kind of an asshole. Bucky's self-deprecating thoughts. Reader being dumb.

Word Count: 1K

A/N: I keep having no idea what this is, I have no endgame but I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Part 1

Stark parties are a hassle. Tony always insists on the team dressing up, cocktail dresses, tuxedos and all that.

So that’s why you’re all dolled up right now, a black sparkly floor-length gown that highlights your curves perfectly with a slit that goes up your left thigh with black stilettos, your hair curled perfectly and your make-up on point thanks to Natasha and Wanda, gold hoop earrings finishing the ensemble.

The only thing that looks like it doesn’t belong on your right now are Bucky’s dog tags hanging from your neck.

Things with Bucky have been going relatively good, you’re not really dating but neither of you let a moment pass without trying to flirt with each other. You enjoy the attention he only gives you and he enjoys making you flustered.

You’ve even managed to make him blush himself a few times.

You haven’t taken his dog tags off since that morning Bucky put them on you, and that’s not gone unnoticed by the team who have had a field day teasing you about it. Just never enough to bother you and make you want to take them off.

Until now.

“Come on, they look so out of place!” Tony says while chuckling as you roll your eyes, drink in hand while you stand in the middle of the party while talking with Tony, Scott and Maria.

“Leave her alone, Stark.” Maria comes to your defense and you give her a grateful smile. All the girls think it’s adorable that you wear Bucky’s tags.

“He’s not wrong, though.” Scott chimes in. “That’s a beautiful get up, but the tags stand out, and not in a good way.”

Anyone else, you’d be creeped out, but you know Scott is in a happy relationship with Hope and he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s more of a girlfriend at this point.

“I don’t care.” You say simply, sipping your drink. “I like them, and I’m not taking them off.”

“You haven’t taken them off in weeks.” Tony points out, a dangerous smirk starting to grow on his face. “Could it have anything to do with the particular soldier that gave them to you?”

You roll your eyes, knowing where Tony’s going with this because he’s gone there countless times now.

“It has nothing to do with Bucky, I just like them.” You say causally.

“You like him.” Tony says childishly while the other two snicker at your groan. “Maybe you even love him.”

You scoff and almost glare at Tony. “I don’t love him.”

“Then prove it.” Tony says without missing a beat. Obviously he has you exactly where he wants you. “Take them off.”

“What would that even prove?” You roll your eyes again.

“Prove to me that they don’t mean as much to you as I think they do. Take them off.” He keeps grinning at you, challenging you.

“You’re a child.” You say simply, having no intention to accept this silly challenge.

“Yes, I am.” He says and all four of you chuckle, before Tony takes it one step further. “Take them off for a week and I’ll give you ten thousand dollars.”

You give him an unimpressed look. It’s not a surprise, Tony’s known to do this kind of thing all the time. He once bet Sam twenty thousand dollars if he went streaking for at least 4 blocks around the tower.

His ‘falcon’ was on the paper the next day.

“Come on, if you’re so sure I’m wrong, why not make some money off my arrogance.” Tony says with a smirk when you narrow your eyes at him, he knows you’re considering it.

“Fine.” You say after a pause. You hesitantly take the tags off and put them on Tony’s outstretched hand. It’s only a week and it doesn’t mean anything, you tell yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky saw the whole thing from a distance. And it meant plenty to him.

He couldn’t hear what you were saying even with his enhanced hearing because you were far away and the party noise was almost deafening, but Bucky saw you clearly as you took off his tags and gave them to Tony.

To Tony.

Did they not mean as much to you as they did to him? Was this whole thing just a joke to you? Was he making a fool out of himself thinking you liked him as much as he liked you? Maybe you just liked the attention. Maybe you were fucking with him, having fun at his expense because he convinced himself you like him, because how could he even think someone like you actually likes him? Maybe you’ve been laughing behind his back while he’s been falling for yo-

“Hey, Sergeant Grumpy.” His thoughts are interrupted by your playful voice that just a minute ago was the single greatest sound that he wanted as the soundtrack of his existence for the rest of his life.

But right now, it’s making his nostrils flare with barely contained anger while he almost glares at you.

You think nothing of it, convincing yourself that maybe the party is making him anxious like it usually does. After all, Bucky doesn’t do good with strangers.

Or maybe Sam has been getting on his nerves more than usual tonight. Whatever it is, you want to make him feel better.

So you wrap your hand around the tie of his suit and pull him towards you a little, copying the move he’s now done countless times with his dog tags around your neck.

“You wanna hear something funny?” You ask playfully, wanting to tell him about the bet you just made with Tony and thinking Bucky will get a kick out of it and it’ll take his mind off of whatever has him in a bad mood.

But you get no chance to say anything more since he takes your hand away from his tie.

“Leave me alone.” He says with a harsh tone you’ve never heard him use towards anyone, let alone you. “Forever.”

That said, he walks off and out of the room in the direction of his quarters without giving you a second glance, leaving you to look after him, too dumbfounded as your mind tries to play catch-up.

What the hell just happened?

Requested Taglist: @marvelcasey05 @ordelixx @alltoounwellread @capswife @sapphirebarnes @rio-reid-whoreee @theunknownmarveluser @alltoowellread @a-very-fictional-girl

#bucky barnes #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x you #sam wilson #steve rogers #clint barton #tony stark #peter parker #natasha romanoff #avengers x platonic!reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel fanfiction #scott lang #wanda maximoff #maria hill

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Man 7

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Lloyd Hansen

Summary: a demanding customer complicates more than your work life.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,” you utter with each step, the pinch of Floyd’s-- Lloyd’s hand digging into your neck.

“Shut up,” he growls as he as good as drags you.

You walk on your toes, scurrying to keep up. You cling to his wrist to keep your balance as the witnesses turn their heads away. What the heck? What is going on? No one’s going to help you?

“Get in,” he opens a car door and push you so you nearly ding your head on the side.

You catch yourself on the metal and carefully duck down, only for him to shove on your head and slam the door. You compress yourself in the seat as he stomps around the hood. Jeez, that sort of anger isn’t good for you.

He drops into the driver’s side and hits the steering wheel, his anger brimming through flared nostrils. You watch him nervously, waiting for him to explode. It’s like you can see the fuse burning, getting shorter and shorter as he tries to calm himself.

“I’m done talking,” he snarls and sits back heavily. He pulls at his belt buckle as he lifts himself above the seat. “You’re going to use that mouth for something good. I don’t wanna hear another word.”

He pushes his fly open as the buckle tinks and you cringe as he shoves down the elastic of his sleek leopard print briefs. Wow, very 70s of him. He rolls the fabric down his thighs as his dick springs free and you put your hand over your lips, hiding a smile as you snort.

He lowers himself and snarls over at you, “are you laughing?”

“N-no. Well, yes, but I just think... they kinda look funny, don’t they?” You poke your finger up to mimic his hard length. “Boing.”

“What is wrong with you?” He sneers. “How many have you even seen?”

“You know, I’ve been on the internet. I’m a child of the digital age so... probably too many.”

“Jesus, shut the fuck up,” he grabs the back of your head and jerks you towards him, “look, sweet lips, do yourself a favour and stop resisting.”

“Um, favour?” You reach out to grab the steering wheel, fighting to stay away from his lap, “I... I got dry mouth. I can’t--”

“Just open up,” he grunts, shoving on you. He’s strong.

Your arm bends and you collapse onto him, headbutting his dick as you do. You shake your head as you raise it and he suppresses a whimper. He fists your hair and pulls you up, jarring your head back violently.

“Fuck off,” he grits out, “open your damn mouth. And no teeth.”

“Look, I really am not in that kinda mood--”

“I’m about to break your teeth, cupcake. Are you gonna keep arguing?”

You blink at him and weigh a life time of smoothies and broth. His eyes narrow and you gulp. You squeeze your lips tight and try to dip your chin down. He slackens his grip just enough for you to make eye contact with his tip.

Whew, okay, right, you’ve seen some things on The Hub. It can’t be that hard. Figuratively. Literally, it does look pretty hard.

You shudder and suck in a breath. Well, here goes nothing. This isn’t really how you saw your first-time but nothing’s really gone to plan, has it?

You lick your lips and open your mouth as you bring your hand around to grip him. Thick, you think. Looks and feels like it. But the skin, so smooth. You didn’t expect that. You face down the great dragon, throbbing up at you, you will vanquish your foe.

You lower yourself down and hover your lips above his swollen head. You stick your tongue off and flick it around his tip. He twitches and lets out a hiss. You try not to laugh. So sensitive. You press your lips around him and continue to swirl your tongue. You’re not super sure of what you’re doing but it feels right, even though the circumstance is very wrong.

You stretch your lips around him until your jaw aches. He’s gotta be big. Thinking about it, maybe thinking too much, he’s a lot like the men you see in your incognito searches. You’re no prude, you just haven’t found the right person. He’s definitely not the one but well... let’s not think about that.

You ease onto him, feeling him quiver as his breaths puff out slow and long. You take him deeper and deeper, pausing as he grazes the back of your throat. You inhale through your nostrils and try to rear back. He keeps a hold on you, urging you down.

Your throat strains around him as he forces his dick deeper. You nearly gag, your foot kicking the interior. You’re bent over the console, half-twisted, your shoulder bearing too much pressure for comfort. Your eyes water as you find yourself suffocated with his intrusion.

He holds you there until your quaking. He lets up and you pull off of him, coughing and hacking. He chuckles and releases your hair, petting your head.

“Go on.”

You close your eyes and tremble as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, the other still circled around him. You pump then put your lips around his tip. You flick your tongue around and around, taking him in gradually. You reach your limit then back up, dragging your hand in tandem with your mouth.

A saltiness spreads over your tongue and you press it along his base. He growls and his hand spreads across your crown. He leans back into the seat, extending his legs as far as they’ll go in the cramped space. You hear the leather of the steering wheel creak as he grips it tight as you pick up the pace. Hopefully if you go fast, it will be over soon.

“Slow-- sweet lips, hold up,” he rasps, “slow--” He yanks you off of him and hisses, slamming an open hand on the horn as he spasm and curses, “fuck! I said slow--” He lets go of you and contorts as he cradles his sack and squeezes his dick tight, a gush bursting from the tip, stringing down his knuckles and onto his pants. Those look expensive. “What the fuck? You went too fast.”

“I... I didn’t mean to. I just... I did my best,” you stick out your tongue and wipe it on your sleeve, “I never did that before so... my bad.”

He gapes at you then his eyes drift through the windshield. He shoots a passerby the finger as his little honk drew the attention of curious eyes. He growls and opens his hand, examining the sliminess across it.

“You made this mess,” he snarls, “better clean it up.”

Your brow creases and you shake your head, “you got kleenex?”

“With your goddamn mouth,” he barks and sits back. “Hurry up.”

You keep from looking out the window as humiliation seeps in. The realisation that a very private moment is on display makes you nauseous. You bend over his lap again, once more taking him in your hand.

“Good girl,” he purrs as your lips touch his skin, “gotta say, those hands are a lot quicker than that head.”

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #the gray man #the man #drabbles #series #au #mob au

[teencopandthesourwolf]

so i'm supposed to be working on my sterek wip—and i am! i wrote about 1k today—but bc of all you lovely mutual's and folk i follow now also into buddie (main culprits being @inell @rosieposiepuddingnpie @sortasirius and @angela-feelstoomuch) and ofc bc of bi!buck confirmed, i've started ploughing through 911 over the last few weeks like a bloodhound chasing a rabbit through the woods and have consequently, inevitably, started a buddie wip. fml. anyways, it's all your lot's fault so here, have just under 1k of my first buck pov buddie quarantine wip and everyone pls forgive my adhd writing brain lol.

.

Eddie was so fucking drunk. And it wasn't really either of their faults.

Because daytimes? When they weren't on shift? They were easy.

In the daytime there was just so much stuff to do with Christopher. So many games to play and so many cool things Buck was finding he could teach the little guy. And there were things that Christopher was teaching Buck, too, like, did you know that a crocodile can't stick out its tongue? Because Buck didn't, not until Christopher told him. And how cool is that?

The three of them—Buck, Christopher and Eddie—had started a Strip Jack Naked tournament and they now played it every night that he and Eddie were home, just before bath and bedtime stories. Turns out Christopher loved card games, and loved the rude name given to Buck and Maddie's childhood favourite even more, because what ten year old wouldn't? There was obviously zero stripping involved; Buck didn't even know why it was called what it was called, only that it was super fun, and just about easy enough for Christopher to learn but not so easy he'd get bored too fast, y’know? And what was funny was that the little dude hadn't even won a single round yet, and that somehow hadn't seemed to deter the slugger in his efforts one bit. Quite the opposite, actually. He'd warned, “Just you two wait,” and had this look on his face that said he was determined to become a grandmaster and beat Buck at his own game—or, even better, beat his Dad and win the prize of Eddie having to tidy Christopher's room for a week (a suggestion of Buck's that Eddie had not been overjoyed about).

In turn, Buck and Eddie had now lost countless games of Mario Kart to the kid; been repeatedly humiliated at Pictionary (the kiddie version); and each had the least amount of kudos points for Misfits, a game that Eddie apparently used to play with his sisters. It was another drawing-type one, where each player took a body section on their turn—head, torso and arms, or legs and feet—and then folded the paper over to hide the result until everyone was done and Christopher would unfold the paper and they'd all cry with laughter at the results. Misfits didn't even technically have any winners or losers, but hey, try telling Christopher that.

Evenings, though? The few hours left between Christopher's bedtime and Eddie and Buck turning in for the night? They were tougher.

Tough on Buck, at least.

See, he'd had this dream, a few weeks back. A dream about—well.

About Eddie.

In the dream, Buck had been washing the dishes in Eddie and Chris's apartment after Eddie had made another attempt at cooking his abuela's delicious Barbacoa recipe (Buck had tasted the real deal once when Isabel had come to stay and Eddie had invited Buck over to dinner), and Eddie had suddenly crowded into him from behind, crushing the length of his body up against Buck's back and reaching around to circle soft but firm hands around Buck's wet wrists. Startled and confused, Buck had open opened his mouth to say something when Eddie had placed his hot mouth onto the sensitive spot on Buck's neck, just below his right ear and—

Buck had woken abruptly, writhing and twitching and groaning, jizz spilling all over his freshly changed bed sheets.

After that, evenings were a challenge.

They were now made up of all the usual fun and dumb stuff that Buck and Eddie got up to, plus the occasionally deeper topics in their lives that they both seemed to struggle with but tried their best to share with each other, but there was also Don't look too long at Eddie's hands, and Don't look at Eddie's mouth while he speaks, and Don't check out Eddie's ass in those jeans I'd told him he should definitely buy when the shops were still open and the world hadn't yet gone to shit and I wasn't losing my damn mind.

Buck had moved into Eddie and Chris's place when Quarantine hit because it had just made sense, and over the course of the last six months he had somehow managed to fall in lust with his best friend.

So, times when they both had tomorrow off work, and when the confinement got to be a little too much, they would drink. Sometimes a little too much. One of them always stayed relatively sober though, just in case Chris needed something in the night, and tonight, Buck had been allowing Eddie to enjoy himself because the guy hardly ever really let his hair down, and he deserved to.

Eddie got giggly when he drank Tequila, Buck noticed.

They'd already sunk a few beers prior to cracking open the bottle of Cazadores Reposado, and after Buck had stopped at two shots but Eddie had continued, Eddie had become progressively loose and was now starting to giggle like a frickin schoolgirl. Which, embarrassingly, seemed to be doing things to Buck—not that Buck had a thing for school girls, jesus no, it was just that Eddie sounding so soft and vulnerable and happy was something that apparently really did it for Buck.

Fuck his life.

The guy also got very touchy-feely on tequila, too.

They'd migrated from the kitchen table to sitting so close to each other on the sofa that they were permanently touching, as well as all the times Eddie kept nudging his shoulder further into Buck's and squeezing his hand on Buck's knee. Then his thigh.

Seriously, fuck Buck's life.

The way Eddie had gotten so comfortable with touching Buck was becoming a majorly uncomfortable situation for Buck to have to deal with. Not because Buck didn't want the attention, but because he really fucking did.

And that was a problem, for a few reasons.

Reason one was that Buck wasn't gay, and didn't really understand these feelings he was having.

Reason two was, as far as Buck knew, Eddie wasn't gay either.

Reason three (and Buck's biggest fear) was Buck being terrified of losing what he had with Eddie. He loved Eddie, and Christopher, and he was pretty sure they loved him back—and he certainly wasn't about to let his rabid and confusing libido ruin any of that.

Drunk Eddie, though? It seemed Drunk Eddie really had it in for Buck tonight.

.

fingers crossed i can finish it before buck goes insane! xp

#here we go! #buddie #buddie wip #buddie fic #pov buck #evan buckly #eddie diaz #911 #911 fic #lemons #wet dream #coming untouched #drunk!eddie #alcohol #tcats writes #teencopandthesourwolf #plus buddie lol

[rayplacement]

Rayman / Fakeman selective rp. est 2024, April 27th.

This blog is a selective literate, semi-literate rp blog of the character Rayman from the Netflix series Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix. I will be leaning on CLH Rayman (real version) for some of my take on Fake’s personality and will also heavily lean on HC based interpretations of my own until we see more of him in a hopeful season 2.

I will be writing literate or semi-literate when interacting, but I prefer literate. You can interact however you like to, but just know I will reply in some length and all I ask is please give me something to work with. (If you do " unserious " roleplays, go for it. I can work with that too.)

Bio, portrayal, connections, etc. under cut.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐨

Being let go from his job after an incident, Rayman was left feeling hurt and betrayed. He knew deep down in his own mind that they wouldn't...no, COULDN'T continue the Rayman Show and news without his likeliness. I mean, how could they? He was the host, the face, the main man of the broadcast which was shown throughout all of EDEN. The main show was named after him after all. Unfortunately, upon viewing the channel to see how they could have continued without him; there it was. A fully cloned lookalike of himself was seen talking directly towards the crowd from the screen of his TV.

Rayman, nicknamed Fakeman, Rayplacement, and sometimes FakeRay by the fan base, is Rayman's cloned counterpart who was evidently made to replace the actual Rayman. He is shown to be acting like the former; and shown as happy-go-lucky, sassy, and civic.

𝐇𝐂𝐬 & 𝐇𝐂 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐬

Rayman is more snarky, classy, flirtatious, and more dramatic than the previous Rayman.

Despite having a friendly face and friendly demeanor, he is shown to be more short tempered when not being broadcasted live. This Rayman also adores attention and having eyes on him. He practically lives off it.

When talking to someone, he often looks ahead of him and speaks out loud as if he has a crowd cheering him on from being used to the routine.

He tends to bow often and even clap after something good happens or something pleases him.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

When interacting, feel free to choose a starting connection from below. Keep in mind this is OPTIONAL. It just helps me understand if you want him to act a certain way towards your character first.

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐒 -

You are a fan of " Rayman." He sees you pop up at times, giving you autographs when asked and gives you one sided yet friendly gestures. He isn't your friend of course, just fulfilling a simple cater to a fan.

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 -

He confides in you. He will tell you how his day of work was without sprinkling non hardships. He finds you entertaining and good to be around.

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 -

What started off as a simple friendship now is closer. He confides in you and tells you many things. He trusts you and you trust him. He tells you about how his days are or really anything without sprinkling in sugar.

𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 -

Fake will poke fun of, make snarky remarks, and get all hot headed when he is around you. What a brat. He cannot stand the utter thought of being with someone like you for more than five seconds.

𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋 -

He sees you at diners, clubs, and sometimes at the corner of a shop. He occasionally gives you a smile and sometimes even a wave. You two sometimes talk to one another when you so happen to run into each other. However despite this, nothing special comes to fruition. But that can change.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ~

What a strange feeling. You two have been together for awhile and somehow you're here. He calls you by nicknames such as darling, my beloved, and dearest. He can be a bit of a jerk and perhaps once will put you on display for all to see, but at the end of the day he means well enough. You are his prize possession. Please note that he is bisexual. I am fine with shipping BUT they have to have known each other for awhiiile and should not be forced upon.

Feel free to send in your muses with writing in my inbox for a response or dm me for interactions. I don't mind short responses too! (Just keep in mind again; I like to be a bit lengthy sometimes as I like to write the characters emotions, actions, etc) I will work with anything :) This blog is also cross over friendly so I don't mind other characters interacting, I highly encourage it to be frank. I also do not mind others portraying the same character. I do NOT DO MAINS. I interact freely 💜.

Sorry for the long pinned post, I think I had to get some info out, especially the character.

Penned by - your mom.

Clh / Rayman rp wakey wakey wakey wakey are you awake now?

#{⭐️} 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐚𝐚𝐝 !~ // 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 #{🎤} 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧. // 𝐨𝐨𝐜 #{💜} 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐞? 𝐈'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 ~ // 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 #{☀️} 𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞! // 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #roleplay #rp #roleplay blog #fakeman #rayman #crossover rp #clh rp #rayman rp

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

How do you think the spider gang would react to Gwen coming out as trans? I think they'd all be supportive, but I'm curious if you have details

I am going to be honest with you anon, I had been looking at this question for weeks, thinking about it, and...I am not coming up with much.

I am trans, I don't have that much experience with people reacting to that- and I am not making any more comments about that.

Going back to the original question- I think all of them would be supportive; regardless of background or history, I feel doing anything else would be a disservice to the characters, and also, a type of story I really don't have interest entertaining, (Would Noir, being from 40s, be reasonable to have his apprehensions and need to overcome it? Yes, I am interested in seeing something like that? Personally, fuck no.)

Now, it doesn't mean there cannot be hiccups- all well intending, of course.

(Specific characters under the cut because, as always with me, it got long.)

Peter B I see going over the top; talking how brave Gwen is, and that he supports her no matter what, he also reads a book on trans people and tell hims about the people in his universe who are trans. Gwen appreciates it, but it can be uncomfortable at times.

Noir, regardless of time period, would be supportive, but mixes up terminology. The poor guy already struggles with the pop culture lingo, so throwing queer lingo into the mix can make things awkward; specially since, as a spider-man, he has defended the marginalized people of his dimension and is aware of the community, but- that community had its own terminology that may not be appreciated to day. Is a growing curve.

In my opinion, Ham is a much of a man as Bugs Bunny, meaning gender isn't as important as commitment to the bit; so I can see him busting a dress all of the sudden and saying "I get you sis." Accordingly, if asked about his own gender, he is pretty much "normally a guy, but in general whatever fits better with the scene."

Peni I headcanon as nonbinary, so I think she would be happy to meet another person who isn't cis. Definitely would have lots of talk about presentation, tricks for clothes a make up, the works.

Margo is cool about it, there isn't much to say there; she just tells Gwen that it doesn't change anything between them, and she is still invited to come for the slumber parties (Margo has thrown a bunch in the Spider-Society, because anything to spend as little time mentally at home as possible.)

Pavitr: "Oh so you are like a hijra? That's so cool!" (This is a term from a place I am not from, so I can't talk in length about it, feel free to look it up because it is indeed, very cool.) While not the same, he ends up telling more about how people in his dimension see transgender people, Gwen finds it overall really interesting.

Hobie is, of course, cool about it. He is a punk, noncomformist, and "hates labels," he could probably tell Gwen a stupid amount of things about queer history, intersectionally, so far and so forth. Despite using he/him pronouns, I believe with all my heart Hobie would not give a shit about gender roles and dress how he likes, and be okay with any pronouns. This has nothing to do with your question, but I headcanon that Hobie has been the queer awakening of many other teens of the Spider-Society as he strolls down in whatever outfit he feels like it.

Now Miles, is obviously supportive. I think he may be oblivious to many things (I headcanon him as bi for a long awhile, but I am not sure if that's something he knows already or has yet to discover,) so he asks questions, but is always respectful and has no trouble answering. Overall, Gwen thinks is cute how much Miles dotes on her, and reminding her that she will always be the prettiest girl alive to him.

Huh, I guess I had more to say that I expected, this was fun! Thanks for the question and sorry for the delay.

#ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #trans gwen stacy #atsv #itsv #across the spiderverse #into the spiderverse #peter b parker #spider noir #peter b porker #peni parker #margo kess #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #miles morales #spider-man #spider-ham #spider-woman #spider-gwen #ghost spider #spider byte #sp//dr #spider-punk #spider-india #headcanon #atsv headcanons

[rin-and-jade]

Welcome to the World! : A Starting Guide for Alters

This guide's purpose is to help either new formed/split, or those recently risen from dormancy, or the unregistered/unrecognized alters to get one step closer to functioning at the outside world!

It'll be one long rundown, click below to start right away, see you on the flip side.

From here on, what will be mentioned are things to assess some potential problems, questions, and self-discovery prompts. It is recommended to follow the flow of the guide, but if you necessarily need to skim to a certain section, this table of contents will help you:

table of contents

The beginning - Introduction

Things to look out for - potential problems to assess - Mobility - Gender & Species unalignment - World confusion

Starters - self discovery questions

How a system works - lite educative version

Closing - last notes + extra materials

The beginning

Nice to see you here, in the flip side! Now i know you have lots of questions on hand right now, and why you might be reading this as first thing's first; it's because i am here to help prepare yourself in many different aspects that cannot be learnt/figured out in such a short amount of time unless it is assisted with an experienced person.

If you haven't know what's going on up to this point, along with the kind of situation you're in, first off, you're a system.

Yes, thats right, system is a word for a collection of many parts within one body and you are also a part of it. This can mean you'll hear other kinds of accent inside head, and feeling + liking fully different things, as well as possessing different levels of certain skills and memory. More or less, this belongs to the qualities of a Complex Dissociative Disorder,, where there are types like DID, OSDD, Polyfragmented, etc.

This happens because of how dissociation can wall up barriers between other facets of yourself that stops some level of communication or complete it's integration when bad things happen in early years, leaving them mainly separated and self-autonomous; they're known as 'alters' but i personally love calling them as 'parts' or some might go with words like 'headmates' or 'facets' or even 'members'.

This isn't enough to explain the disorder itself, but i hope it suffices in explaining your situation! Feel free to check some extra system details if your gang has one, let's get to the next section.

Things to look out for

Just a quick warning and a reminder, if you are rather new or have not been actively out,, there is a high chance of having issues with limb coordination, control, and balancing. Other than that, the off-putting sensations you feel such as wrong type of species, height, gender, or even the world being foreign from how you perceive it can make things scary and overwhelming.

Fear not, as i also have the solutions for all these:

Handling poor mobility: First off, take a good moment to recognize your length of the arms, legs, learn the shape of your palm and fingers, and to every corners of your body. Start holding some simple objects like mugs or pens, remember how it feels to grab something with your fingers and gauge your grip strength, experimenting when you squeeze or loosen it. Then start interacting with the objects with both your hands, attempt to twirl it, or hold it in different positions and turns. You can also go for a test walk and sway all your joints to get a better picture of your movement range, practice makes perfect in easing your balance and momentum, it is normal to stub or be wobbly or clumsy at first, so take it easy okay?

To manage unalignment: It is hard to feel comfy if it is not the right height, especially for non-human aligned parts, so using props or any equipment or accessories can give you some sense of comfort (you can even walk on toes if you do need to feel a bit more tall, but don't over do this). Since fully eradicating this is impossible, doing anything in your power to lessen the discomfort is the best thing you can do,, there are also phantom limbs which basically means the extra body parts you identify with does not exist. This can be remedied by applying some gentle pressure to think that it is attached to your main body or use your imagination to satisfy that missing limb. for those not being aligned with the gender, if the body is feminine but you are masculine; try investing or search for a binder. If a binder is out of reach, wearing oversized, or baggy clothes, or hoodies will do the trick. And a boyish clothing style and short hair style if possible too. If its masculine in a feminine instead, using more girly oriented clothing style and do your nails, or any activities that affirms feminine aligned gender. I am very sure there are silicon chest pads but not in terms of where it is being sold at, so try to find them if it's available in your area. When neither and is androgynous instead, try searching for gender neutral clothes that are also neutral colored like grey/black/brown. There are many inspirations of this type of fashion so use the internet to gain inspirations on making your own androgyny look, you could even use make up to contour your shape of face. Now, for the ones who walk in hind-legs, get some platform heels/shoes/sandals/boots. You can find a flat one or the slanted one to match your needs. The idea is the slanted part of the shoe and the thick base gives an impression of canine/feline foot balance and for those who have hooves, respectively. (honestly, paw printed socks will do too, i hope) Lastly, to manage claws, or fangs, try using fake nail art of your color, or attach a fake vampire teeth guard, respectively. For symbolic means, you can even consume foods that are juicy and red, like meat cooked in medium,, or if you want the more vegan option: watermelons, or gummy that represents meat or grubs or just by being red to represent blood.

Getting used to the world Start learning how technology works--phone, laptop, kitchen tools, vehicle if any, and anything else that are often used. Make sure you practice enough to easily operate them, and learn how to use the internet and helpful plural apps or websites such as Lighthouse or start using Simply Plural. Try many foods to enhance culinary awareness, identify lots of other objects and the geography of your area to navigate and understand better. Touch many kinds of materials to train your sensory processes. You could also invest in watching shows and try a variety amount of activities to deepen your understanding of life. Explore different kinds of subject that you are particularly interested on, and lastly, never be afraid to do and try new things! This will guarantee you to seamlessly function with anything the world has to offer.

For starters - Self Discovery

Do you have a name?

do you what's your age?

What's your gender?

What are your pronouns?

Do you remember anything, and how much?

Do you seem to retain some past knowledge?

Can you describe what you look like? (Includes species)

Do you find the outside world familiar or foreign?

Can you state your bio name, family, or any important info?

Is it possible to describe yourself identity/vibe wise? (crucial part to tell apart fragments from splits and from holders that do not embody a personality)

What role could you fit as? (a host, protector, etc. Search for alter roles)

Do you like the outside world? Will you have a chance of being out more often? (to gauge how often one will front)

Have any likes and dislikes or preferences/hobbies?

For the bullet points you couldn't answer, take this as a sign to start searching! It will take some time, but you can ask help from anyone and even me when needed.

How a system works

A system works in communication (be it internal or external) and switches that also often have a specific trigger to call out someone else. Sometimes, though not a must, will have an innerworld that facilitates as a place for everyone to meet and interact.

These things are crucial for cooperation, because you'll definitely need that in order to navigate the world and adapt accordingly.

Communication

There are many kinds of communication styles, sometimes a mix of some or have all of the above,, whatever style you have, make sure to use it to the maximum. There are: via images, via abstract vibes, via emotions, or via direct (verbal) internal thoughts. Some do not have any internal communication, so external ones would be things such as keeping notes or write in a diary or any app for text editing.

Keep in mind that the clarity of communication fluctuates due to various factors, stress as one of them. So it is important to know that it will not work in a constant 100% at all times, use this awareness to strategize if, somehow, you have lost contact with the others.

Trigger & Switches

It is something that elicits a feeling that belongs to a part, which in return, can 'wake' or call one to co-con or front. There are negative and positive charged triggers, and i suggest you to explore what are your potential triggers.

The relationship with trigger and switches is, depending on how strong it is, can cause a switch to happen, where you will be swapped out by another one who got 'called' upon. This mechanism is for adapting to different kinds of situations, and these certain triggers are the key to ensuring the right part handle it's respective job as needed.

Switches can be very subtle, or slow, or obvious, or in a snap. This fully depends on how your system is made to handle problems on hand or when in stress, as sometimes it can cause rapid-switching, or the opposite, being stuck or locked in front. Sometimes, they also cause physical symptoms.

System terms - Basics

Fronting - the alter who has full control of the body, and performing tasks. Co-front - the alter, who have awareness between the outside and inside world, as well as able to control the body though not as complete as the fronter. Co-conscious - the alter who have awareness of the outside world, and spectates, and does not have any direct control of the body. Passive influence - when an alter's specific traits or likes/dislikes leaked to others and/or at front, that changes the initial reaction to be more blended with the other one. E.g. A like fries, B is there and likes spicy sauces. So now, A is craving to eat the fries with something spicy, even if A has no interest when it comes to spiciness or sauce.

For closing

Practice makes perfect, this is everything you need to know to hone your knowledge before finally stepping outside with complete freedom, where you can start anywhere you'd like, and to resume your collective's path to functionality and well-being. It's okay if things didn't go well at first try, and remember to reach out to people who you could trust as it'll help you progress faster!

I am aware that this guide still have a lot of room for improvement, so any requests or feedback will be added here for future viewers! This guide will be subjected to constant updates with even more sections being discussed on, or added touch of details. I will also add on my own posts here to serve as additional knowledge that is related to this topic:

Types of amnesia

Are you a Shard, Fragment, or Alter

Types of subsystems

Front-stuck, and how to deal with it

Physical switches

Comorbidity

Being blurry

Starters to system foundations

How comorbidity affects plurals (ADHD & Autism)

Dealing with the sense of faking

The person who needs to give their back a break, - j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates #jsaid

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Stargoth oneshot - Ice Skating

“Seriously, Deacon?” Chase grumbled. “You just had to get close to the pony at the fair.”

Deacon glared at Chase before lifting up his bandaged arm, healing from being broken by an angry miniature pony. “Hey, remember! You can’t talk! I jinxed you earlier!”

“Ya, I think that cancelled out when you yelled my name out in pain a little over three times when that pony kicked you.”

Chase sighed and shook his head. “Guess I’ll be doing the work on my own for a bit until you heal up..”

Deacon sank into his bed, grumbling under his bed. 

Chase looked over at Bronze. “Keep an eye on him?”

Bronze shrugged. “Got nothing better to do.”

Chase picked up Silver and smiled at her. “Ready for this?”

She smiled and did a curtsy. “Always!”

Chase reached for a random book, merely glancing at the title before inserting the key. 

When he opened his eyes, he felt like he was in Christmas Town from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

He looked at his outfit. A skin tight blue suit with a fur collar, puffballs, and a mid length cape with a snowflake theme. 

“Another great outfit, Silver!” he said happily. He took a step and nearly fell. That’s when he realized he’s also wearing ice skates and he’s on a frozen pond. 

“Oh shoot. I haven’t ice skated in years..” He slapped his face and shook his head. “No matter! For I am Chase Hollow, and I can do anything!”

He attempted to glide over the ice, but instead face planted. That was when he heard skrrrrch coming his way. He looked up and really wish he hadn’t. 

“Buddy,” he said bluntly.

“Did you seriously choose a story like this when you don’t even know how to ice skate?” Buddy asked, raising a smug eyebrow.

“I know how to skate! Just.. rusty!” he grumbled as he struggled to get to his feet. 

“Mhm..”

Chase finally managed to get to his feet and looked at Buddy. 

Ugh. One of the most frustrating things about hating this absolute tool is that Chase finds him extremely hot. 

He can’t help it! Goth guys have always been his type!

And with Buddy’s low cut black shirt with navy trim and a black and white cloak barely covering his shoulders to show off the fishnet undershirt he was wearing underneath.. ya, Chase felt like his heart would burst out of his chest. 

Whatever! The black snowflake tiara that he was wearing was lame and that’s all he decided to focus on. 

“So,” Buddy started. “Where’s your little sidekick?”

“Huh?”

“You never seem to go into a story without him anymore.”

“He’s.. busy for a bit.”

“Busy? If you have the responsibility of being a key holder, you can’t afford to be busy.”

Chase rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Go outside and touch grass. Maybe that’ll make you less of a prick,” he said before turning and skating away. 

The entire kingdom seemed to be on ice, all the villagers also wearing ice skates as they made their way around town. 

Doesn’t that get exhausting, though? Chase wondered. 

He looked around, wondering what he had to do to trigger the story. 

That’s when he spotted it. A sign for The Royal Ice Skating Challenge. 

“That seems plot important,” he murmured to himself as he skated closer to the sign to get a better look at it.

“In the Icicle Forest. Where’s that?” he thought. He looked around, hoping to find a road of some sort. But no. No land in sight. Not even a forest. Just. Ice. He felt like he was playing in a superflat Minecraft world right now. 

“The prince!” Shouted one villager. “He’s here!”

Here we go… Chase thought as he mentally prepared himself to deal with another boring prince. 

“Hello!” he said to the overly sparkly man (and Chase loves sparkles, but this guy was seriously overdoing it). 

“Ah! Hello. You are a baker?” he asked, gesturing at what the heroine character must’ve been wearing. 

“Yepppp. That’s me. Listen, I was wondering if I could join your ice skating challenge thing!”

“Oh! Why of c-!”

But he was cut off by Gothy McGothFace, who skated to the prince’s side. 

“Really, sir? Are you really going to let a peasant join the challenge?”

“I.. well, why wouldn’t I, Iclyn?”

Iclyn? Chase thought. What an on the nose name. What, is my name something like Frosta?

“Frosta!” shouted a voice from behind him. “Come inside and help serve the customers!”

Chase groaned slightly and glared at ‘IcLyN’ before skating off to whoever was calling him. 

“I gotta find out where that Ice Skating Competition will be..” he said quietly to himself. He saw the lady who called to him, who was shaking her head. 

“Your father is getting tired of you always running off, Frosta.”

“Oh, um, sorry.. mom?” he guessed. 

She sighed and ruffled his hair. “It’s all right. Just get to your station.”

He touched the spot she had ruffled, processing the motherly affection before forcing himself to snap out of it. 

She’s not your real mom, Chase. He forced himself to think. 

“Hey, mom. Where’s the Icicle Forest from here?”

“Now, Frosta, why would you need to know that?”

“Uh. Some competition.”

“The Royal Ice Skating Competition? Frosta, honey, why would you want to do that? You know there’s no possible way you can win.”

“What?! But mom-!” Chase had heard those words too many times. ‘Chase, you are never going to be a singer. Give up.’ The only person who believed in him 100% was.. his mom. 

“No, mom. I will win! And I’ll prove it to you when I bring home the trophy.”

“Trophy? The prize is a tiara.”

“Um.. I’ll bring home the tiara!”

She sucked in her lips for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows before sighing. “But Frosta. Your skating is.. mediocre at best.”

Even though he wasn’t really Frosta and this wasn’t really his mom, he had to admit, that stung. 

“Yknow what? I don’t need you! I’ll find the forest on my own!”

He turned and bolted out the door. He tried to slow down when he panicked at his speed, but had too much momentum and slammed into another house. 

“Ow..”

“Ohhh,” said that annoyingly familiar voice. “That’s gotta sting.”

“You’re not as cool as you think you are.”

Buddy arched an eyebrow. “Pun not intended, I should hope?”

“No, pun absolutely intended. I’m no coward.”

“I..” he shook his head and pinched his brow. “Nevermind.”

Chase got back to his feet and brushed off his clothes, even if there was no dust to brush off. 

“I just need to find where the Icicle Forest is and I’m all set.”

“Mhm. Well, good luck with that.”

“Hey, hey, hey!! Do you know where it is?”

He tilted his head and arched his eyebrow. “Why, I don’t know. Do I? I don’t have the Helper Key.”

“Ughhhh…”

He watched as Buddy skated off into the distance. He looked around the town for some sort of map. 

“Do you know where I can find a map to the Icicle Forest?” he asked one villager. 

“Oh Frosta, why would you need to get there?”

“Because I’m joining the competition.”

“Silly girl. You know you won’t win.”

That was basically every conversation he had when he asked for help. 

People seriously treat me, er, her, pretty shitty.

He groaned and leaned against a building wall, sitting on the freezing ground. Just when he was about to give up hope, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Sweetie.”

He turned to the voice and saw a little old lady standing over him. 

“Oh, uh-“

She sighed. “Your mother told me about your plan.”

He gave her a suspicious look. “You going to try and talk me out of it?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, no. I think it’s a great idea. But you should practice on your figure skating a bit more.”

He felt like letting out a long groan. “But the competition-!”

“Is tomorrow. You can spend all day and night practicing. Listen to grandma.”

“I… right. Sorry.. grandma.”

She helped him up and he looked around anxiously. “Where do I practice?”

“Anywhere, sweetie. The world is your rink.”

He thought about that for a moment. He was starting to realize how badly his ankles were hurting from skating this entire time. Geez, that hurts.. But he forced himself to ignore it. 

He went to find a clear area, which wasn’t too hard. (Seriously, this place is so empty, it’s almost eerie)

He closed his eyes and tried to remember any figure skating he may have seen. But the only form of figure skating he’s ever seen was from Yuri On Ice. 

He tried to lift his leg up as high as he could, but he felt like his back was going to snap. 

He heard a laugh behind him and he whipped his head around, expecting to see that annoying fucker, but instead he saw the prince from earlier. 

“You are.. quite bad,” he said, laughing. 

Chase crossed his arms and glared at him. “Thanks,” he said sarcastically. 

“No, I mean it in a playful way. Say, would you like some help?”

He gave him a confused look. “Why would you help me?”

“In all honesty.. I would rather have anyone win but Iclyn.”

“Really? Why?”

“She said is she wins she will make me her husband. I.. would rather not have that.”

“Oh. Oh! So, like, team up to make sure she loses?”

“That is what I was hoping for,” he said, nodding. 

“Well, that benefits me too. So I’m in!”

Him and the prince shook hands. 

The rest of that day, the prince helped Chase on forms and jumps and all that other stuff. He had to admit, this was probably the best prince he’s met, even if he was overly sparkly. 

But Chase couldn’t help the feeling that someone was watching them. But everytime he looked around, he didn’t see anyone. 

They practiced until it was pitch black outside, the moonlight reflecting on the ice, casting a faint silver glow. 

“You’re amazing, Frosta,” the prince said. “I know you’ll do great tomorrow.”

Chase smiled at the praise. After a whole day of people beating him down, the compliments really helped lift his spirits. 

“Thanks. I should be heading home now. To rest.”

“Yes. Have a good rest of your night.”

Chase waved goodbye as he skated off, smiling. That was actually really fun. 

As he approached his house, he felt a figure loom over him. 

He turned and just as he did, Buddy pinned him to the wall. 

“What were you doing?”

“Hey! Let me go! I was just practicing my skating!”

“With the prince?”

“Ya! What, is that not part of the story?!”

“It.. is. But you were really enjoying yourself out there.”

“Ya, I wa- Wait. Were you spying on us?!”

“Of course I was. Nothing goes unseen,” he hissed.

“Ugh, you’re such a creep!” he exclaimed before shoving him away. 

“Ugh. Whatever. I don’t care, anyways!”

He watched as Buddy skated away. Chase clenched his fists and huffed. 

But you do care.. he thought. 

Inside the house was a hard wood floor. Where they got the wood to even build these places was beyond Chase’s knowledge, but he didn’t thinking about it as he collapsed onto the floor, his feet and ankles swollen and sore. 

So tired…

Before he even knew it, he found himself passed out on the floor, snoring away. 

By the morning, he was woken up to a gentle shaking. He slowly opened his eyes and found the old lady from earlier waking him up. 

“Frosta. Wake up. You need to prepare for the challenge.”

“Ughhh…” he sat up and rubbed his eyes, feeling like absolute shit. His feet were still sore and his knees were shaky. 

He sat up and rubbed his ankles and calves in an attempt to soothe the absolute pain, and to apologize to them for the fact that he’s about to put them through more torture. 

He stood up reluctantly and the old lady handed him a slate of ice. 

“It’s a map to the Icicle Forest. Stay safe, Frosta. I believe in you!”

He smiled at the encouragement. “Thanks. I’ll, uh.. I’ll see you when I win!”

He put on the ice skates and followed the map. There was nothing out in this field. The most interesting thing he’s managed to spot it is that there is an ocean. But no landmarks, which was weird. 

Until he saw it in the distance. 

A forest made of ice spikes jutting upwards, and instead of grass, there was huge, random patches of snow. 

He entered the strange biome and looked around but seeing nothing specifically. But this place did cast some weird shadows. 

“Now where in the forest is this competition..?”

He felt like he was wandering for hours. And then he looked up at the sky and realized he hadbeen wandering for hours. 

“NOOO! Where AM I?!”

“Lost?” a voice purred behind him. 

He turned and internally groaned. “Buddy.”

“Heh. Of course you would manage to get lost so easily.”

“Oh ya? And what are you doing here?”

“You were taking so long to arrive. I got curious. The competition starts in an hour, yknow?”

“Ya, I know,” he hissed. “Just lead me to there! Don’t you want to get this story over with too?”

Buddy thought for a moment. “I dunno. The ending to this story is rather unappealing to me.”

“What? You lose? That happens to you in every story.”

“It’s not just that I lose. There’s some more to it.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind,” he said, shaking his head. “Forget about it.”

Chase watches as Buddy seemed to glide over the ice like it was nothing. Like he was almost weightless. 

“Cmon. Just lead the way, please.”

He narrows his eyes before shaking his head and sighing. “Fine. Follow me..”

Chase jumped a little, which nearly cost him his balance as he followed him. 

“Man, this place is a lot colder than the village.”

“Yes, well, with an outfit like your’s, it’s no surprise you’re getting so cold so easily.”

“Hey! Your’s isn’t any better!”

“Well, I’m naturally cold, so I have nothing to worry about.”

“Tsk. Prick..” Chase grumbled. 

He attempted to just ignore the cold, but the deeper and deeper they went in, the colder it got. Even Buddy seemed affected by it, as he was inching bit by bit closer to Chase, shivering slightly. 

“Thought you were naturally cold, Mr. Emo Snowman,” Chase said sarcastically. 

“Shut up. We’re almost there.”

“Geez, why did they pick the coldest area for this stupid contest? This is some bull!”

“Whining will get you no where.”

“Oh, it’ll get me somewhere, all right. It’ll get me right on your nerves.. I-I’m getting on your nerves, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Ughhh! You are so stupid..”

Chase glared at him and shoved him into the snow. “I don’t need your sour attitude! Or your insults!”

“Why you little-!”

But before Buddy had a chance to get up and shove him back, there was a loud sound of skates cutting along ice. 

“You two!” said a man in knightly clothes. “Are you here for the skating contest?”

“Ummm… yes,” Chase said, quickly fixing his hair. “Yes we are!”

“Well, hurry along! It starts soon!”

Chase scrambled to follow after him, Buddy doing the same thing, shooting cold glares in Chase’s direction. 

They reached an opening in the ‘forest’. Fairylights hug from icicle to icicle, illuminating the area with a glow bouncing off the ice. 

Chase spotted the prince off in the distance and he smiled widely and waved over to him, Buddy glaring daggers into him and smacking Chase’s hand down. 

“Ah-? Hey!” 

But Buddy just rolled his eyes and skated away, as if he wasn’t being infuriating on purpose. 

Chase went up to the prince. 

“Are you ready, Frosta?”

“Born ready!”

“Thank you for working so hard on this. Truly. I am so scared I’d have to marry Iclyn.”

“Yaaa.. say, what is so bad about her, anyways?”

“She’s so possessive and clingy, despite the fact that we’re not even together. She’s aggressive to anyone who shows any interest in me. It’s all so annoying.”

“I see..” Weird. Buddy is also kinda like that..

He looked out at the opening, fresh ice, skaters preparing for their own routines. 

“Are you ready, Frosta?”

“Ya!”

“Are you pumped?!”

“Ya!!”

He looked out at the opening again and saw Buddy going out. He’s about to do his routine. 

I’m actually kind of curious..

He decided to watch intensely. And.. perhaps he felt himself getting a little too immersed in the dance as he watch Buddy dip low to the ice, spinning around as his dark hair flowed in the wind, sweat flying from his face and his sharp blue eyes hard with focusing. 

And.. ya, he never got so excited by a figure skating leaping, but somehow Buddy managed to absolutely grab his full attention. 

After the performance, Chase looked around, seeing if there was anyone who was absolutely hypnotized by the performance. But, instead, everyone looked bored. 

“It was kind of a boring performance.”

“I’ve seen those same things but done much more interestingly.”

Chase was surprised by everyone’s remarks. Was he the oddball for being so into it? Or is the people being unimpressed just part of the story?

He looked at Buddy’s face and realized..

No. 

Those reactions weren’t meant to be part of the story. Buddy’s face said it all. It was a mediocre performance by professional standards. 

And Chase could see that Buddy was doing everything he could to suppress the anger. Chase.. knew what that was like. He was often met with the same reactions for his singing. He hated it too.. he hated it a lot..

As the two skated past each other, Chase paused. “Your performance was very impressive, Buddy.”

Buddy paused and clenched his fists before letting out a scoff-laugh. “Yes, thank you, Frosta,” he said back, almost bitterly. 

Geez.. just trying to be nice..

Chase skated toward the center and waved out to the crowd. He prepared and struck a pose. He didn’t have a lot of time to create a whole routine. Do, instead he may or may not have.. stolen his. 

Yes, that’s right. He, Chase Hollow, had to steal a routine from Yuri On Ice, performing Yuri’s Eros routine. He’s not proud to admit that he’s plagiarizing. 

But still. He was having so much fun performing it. He looked over at Buddy while he was performing and he noticed him staring.. really intensely, which did make Chase nervous, causing the performance to get sloppy. 

But once he was done, there was an eruption of applause and cheering. 

“Yes! Yes! Thank you! I know, I’m amazing!”

He skated over to Buddy, smiling proudly and smugly. 

“Was that performance.. from Yuri On Ice?”

“EH-!” He froze, standing there as he processed being called out. 

“Weeb…” Buddy murmured before skating off. 

…. WHAT A JERK! Wait a minute…

“HOW DID YOU RECOGNIZE WHAT IT WAS FROM UNLESS YOU KNOW THE ROUTINE FROM HEART AS WELL!?” he called out. 

He could’ve sworn he saw Buddy’s ears turn red, but he just ignored him. 

“Frosta!” he heard a voice yell out from behind him. “The judges announced you as the winner!”

“Really? Wait, but only me and Iclyn performed, was there no one else in the competition-?” he decided to just put it at ‘nevermind’, so stories can be weirdly short and very unspecific or muddy with the details. 

The prince held up a gorgeous silver tiara and placed it onto his head. 

“Frosta. You are.. fantastic. I’m so proud of you!” The prince blushed slightly. 

There’s the rushed romantic feelings. Chase thought. 

“I hope you continue to skate!”

“Hm? Well. Thanks. I’ll… do that. But for now, I gotta go show my mom this tiara that I won. She underestimated me and I’m going to rub it in her face.”

“Ah.. well. Have fun with that, Frosta..” he said awkwardly with a crooked smile. 

He waved off to the prince. The trek through the forest wasn’t nearly as awful as it was last time, actually knowing where he was supposed to go now. Though, the cold had just hit him, causing him to shiver so hard he nearly lost balance on his skates. 

He saw the village in the distance and he nearly burst into tears. His legs were in so much pain and he just wanted to sit down. 

As he entered the town, the villagers looked out at him and smiled at him. 

“Frosta! We heard about the competition!”

“We’re so proud of you!”

“We knew you could do it!”

Eh?!? You literally had 0 faith in me winning! Don’t you lie to me!

He spotted the bakery Frosta’s mom owned. 

Time to go show off my prize! Haha!

But just before he opened the door, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him aside. 

“You..” Buddy said darkly. 

“Ah! Hey, what the hell-?!”

“I can’t let this final half of the story play out.”

“What are you talking about! Ugh, let me go!”

But then he noticed the look on Buddy’s face. Almost terrified. 

“Buddy? Geez, why are you acting like this? Isn’t this just like every other fairytale ending? What, do I die or something?”

“No, it’s just..”

He was cut off by a blaring trumpet. They turn to see the prince and 2 knights skating into the village. 

Frosta’s mom pokes her head out of the shop upon hearing the noise. 

She spots Chase and gasps upon seeing the crown. 

“Frosta?!”

“Oh, uh.. hey mom! TOLD YOU I’D WIN!!”

“Frosta!” called out the prince, gesturing for him to come forward. 

Chase shot one final glare at Buddy before breaking away from him and heading to the prince, ready for this story to finally be over with. 

“Hellllo prince,” Chase said, waving. 

What happened next, he didn’t expect. The prince grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a hug. 

“Woah, uh, personal space there, dude-“

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Huh?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were my long lost fiancé?”

“….HUH?!”

Wait, I’m his what now!?

“Oh, uh, yknow, haha, just, I, um..”

“I can’t believe you had run away.”

“Oh, uhhhhhhhh…”

This is what I get for never reading the stories!!

“But I remember you told me we would reunite.” The prince grasped Chase’s face and pulled him into.. A KISS?!

“PLEGHHH! UGHH, DUDE! WHY?!”

“It was meant to be a.. a kiss to, yknow.. say hello again.”

“STILL! YOU DON’T JUST KISS SOMEONE WITHOUT PERMISSION! UGH! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS!”

Behind Chase was a thudding noise. 

He turns to see Buddy on his knees, sulking dramatically. 

“Aw, and what’s up with you, mall goth?!?”

“The kiss was unavoidable,” he said, his voice strained. 

“Hah?”

Buddy didn’t answer, instead pulling out his key. 

“Hey, where are you going?!”

Buddy didn’t answer before disappearing. 

I’ve never seen him react like that to.. anything!

He tightly closed his eyes to think about the matter at hand. He turned to the prince. “You!! At first I thought you were pretty bearable for a prince, but you had to ruin it with your overall lack of care for consent!”

“But, Frosta-“

“Oh, don’t FrOsTa me, you big creep!!”

Chase pulled out his key. “I think I’m done with this story, I’m going home!”

“Wait, but-!”

He didn’t hear what he had to say as he woke up in his bedroom. 

“Ughhh… and here I thought that prince wasn’t too bad.”

“Oh, you’re back!” Deacon said, poking his head in. “How was it?”

“It was fine at first! But then the Prince got all grabby. And, honestly, so did Buddy.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well, Buddy grabbed me and pinned me to a wall, like, twice. And he said he didn’t want the story to be complete. Like, huh?! Since when has he never wanted to properly finish a story?!”

“Ok.. and what did the prince do?”

“Well, after that whole thing with Buddy, the prince showed up and made me kiss him!”

“Oh ya. That’s how the story ends, to seal the deal of their marriage or whatever. Wait. Buddy didn’t want the story to end.. how did he react after the prince kissed you.”

“I dunno. He was sulking I think? He disappeared before I had a chance to talk to him.”

“….Uhuh…”

“What? What is it?”

Deacon sighed and shook his head. “You are so dense…”

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

#cinderella boy #cinderella boy webtoon #Chase hollow #buddy cinderella boy #Stargoth #Fanfic

[garf-lover96]

Vesuvia Weekly; Inside Jokes (Rowan and Julian)

okay so a bit is technically a joke and i had this thought about them just doing improv during some mundane activities.. there's a lot of dialogue here so it was really fun to write (though like always i was a little worried whether it's in character enough..). and i wrote this whole thing while laying on my carpet because my sheets were in the washing!! so fun!

there's just a little more than 1k words here by the way! it's all sappy and mushy. and i included my olive theory headcanon

———

"Juliannn, I finished tidying." Rowan walks into the kitchen, stretching his arms and yawning. He approaches Julian from behind and hugs his waist gently.

"Oh? That took quite a bit longer than usual, I'm already finished with dinner. A lot of dust today?" he smiles and turns around to kiss his partner's forehead.

"No, Malak didn't stick the landing earlier and knocked over some jars-"

"What-? Why didn't you tell me that? I would've helped!"

"It's fine! It's fine, I've gotten it covered. The shop is squeaky clean now..." Rowan yawns again, "And I am sooo hungry." he looks over Julian's shoulder and into the pot in front of him.

"...Like what you see?" Julian asks with a smirk.

"That sauce looks amazing..." Rowan sighs out and leans against Julian's frame.

"Well, the recipe was Pasha's courtesy. Ah, and she was the one that made the pasta... I haven't gotten the hang of that yet."

"You'd make such a good househusband..."

"No, come on... Would you like a househusband that can't even make edible pasta?"

"Mm, if he was as handsome as you..." Rowan snickers and pokes Julian's side, making him jerk back with a yelp, continued by embarrassed chuckling.

"You flirt... Just sit already, I can hear your stomach growling."

Rowan chuckles and goes to sit down at the table. He pulls his feet up on the chair and looks up at Julian with a smile while he brings the plates over and sits down across from him. The pasta does look delicious... Rowan's never been a big tomato fan but he is possibly the biggest tomato sauce fan in all of Vesuvia.

"You didn't put any olives in, right...?" Rowan inquires with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"Not in your plate. I have them all to myself now." Julian snorts when he looks up to see Rowan's disapproving scowl, "I don't judge your food choices!" he adds with a soft scoff.

Rowan rolls his eyes a little and starts eating. He twirls the pasta around his fork swiftly and puts it into his mouth, with his head just above the plate.

After a while of silence while they're both busy eating, Julian says something again.

"That's no way for a proper gentleman to go about this... You eat like a beast."

Rowan raises his eyes to be met with Julian's familiar expression. That silly teasing smirk. So he answers accordingly.

"That's because I am a beast. A very fierce and dangerous one."

"Right, of course. What kind of beast are you?"

"Umm... A dragon! Yes, that."

"Ah, I can picture that already... But what color?"

"Red. Naturally."

"And just how big of a dragon are you?"

"Twenty feet."

"...In length or height?"

"Height, of course."

"Well that's just greedy..."

Rowan holds up a finger to silence him and Julian just smirks again.

"Fine then. You're a huge red dragon. So can I ride you?"

Rowan snorts and covers his mouth in fear of spitting his pasta out. He recovers and swallows his bite.

"Wait, but who even are you?"

"Uh... Maybe just a simple peasant with a soft spot for dragons. So I come with a query. Can I ride you, oh mighty dragon? So I can experience the feeling of soaring the sky, the wind of my face and escaping my mundane life as a simple olive farmer..."

Rowan wrinkles his nose at that slightly and it makes Julian scoff again.

"So...?" he raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"The Rowan-dragon considers it. And then he eats you whole. One bite."

"Er- Huh? But why?"

"Sheep shortage. He's very hungry."

"But I'm all skin an bones! I'm a very humble farmer, not nutritious at all!"

"The dragon doesn't particularly care."

"But I'm so full of love and affection for you, dear dragon! I could've offered you something no mere sheep would be able to. If only you haven't eaten me... Now I'm just slowly dissolving in your dragon stomach acids... Nobody will even remember the name of... Uh... Wilhelm Olivewilhelm..."

Rowan shakes his head slowly with a weak grin.

"Maybe it's better off not being remembered-"

"Rude! So that's just it? Wilhelm gets eaten and that's the end of his story?"

"No, uh... The dragon reconsiders the situation and spits you- Wilhelm up. Wait, should I say you or Wilhelm?"

"Whatever you see fit. But how is that possible? Wasn't it a bite? I'm like a bloody mush now."

"Eh, it was more of a gulp, actually. So the dragon spits you up and you're mostly undamaged. The dragon is moved, in fact. Moved by the love he felt radiating off of you while you were in his stomach."

"Right. So, mighty dragon, will you let me love you? I don't care what the world thinks of us... My feelings are strong, undeniable and I can't hide them anymore-"

"The dragon leans in for a big, sloppy kiss."

"That's..."

"Do you return the kiss? Your whole head is in the dragon's mouth by the way.

"How is that supposed to work then...?"

"I don't know, lick him from the inside?"

"Rowan, ew!"

They both explode into laughter, forgetting about their pasta almost completely. When they manage to calm down a little, Rowan leans back and yawns again.

"Aww, is my dear dragon that tired already? You should just go to sleep once we finish eating." Julian says with a soft smile.

"Well, terrorizing villages does take up a lot of energy. And I can't go to sleep right after this, I get heartburn..." Rowan rubs his eyes a bit and leans down again to finish his pasta.

"Then I'll make you chamomile tea." Julian shovels the last bit of his food into his mouth and gets up from his seat.

"Thank you, Wilhelm." Rowan answers with a grateful smile.

While Julian prepares the drink, Rowan manages to clear off his plate. Then Julian approaches again and sets the tea poured into Rowan's favorite flowery cup on the table in front of him.

"You're still a little dirty, darling." Julian instinctively reaches forward to wipe Rowan's face and gasps when his fingers get bitten down on.

"Hey, what's this for?"

Rowan lets go after a moment.

"I'm still the dragon. It's an immersive experience. Besides, don't you know that dragons are allowed to go to sleep all dirty and disgusting?"

"Not my dragon. My dragon is supposed to go to sleep all clean and smelling like fresh flowers." he states and grabs the nearest piece of cloth so he can clean Rowan's face.

"No, an ambush-!" Rowan yelps and starts squirming under his touch. Julian just carries on with a grin.

"Now," Julian sets the cloth away and hands Rowan the cup of tea "take your little drink and to bed with you, dragon. I'll handle the dishes."

Rowan gets up from his seat with another yawn and Julian puts an arm around him just to give him a little peck on the lips. Then he nudges him towards the exit of the kitchen.

"I love you, dearest dragon."

"The dragon loves you too."

#vesuvia weekly #inside jokes #garf lover96 creation #the arcana #julian devorak #GIGGLING AND KICKING MY LEGS

[crescentfool]

I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!

yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D

...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)

how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.

admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).

but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!

tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates

on ryomina fanworks recommendations:

regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.

a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...

i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!

other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)

BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.

these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!

as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).

regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!

notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.

regarding persona side material:

i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!

for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!

for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:

and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.

Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!

P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.

god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).

and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.

or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!

there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)

thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)

#ohhh do i even main tag this #fuck it we ball i'll tag it #lizzy askbox #persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything #but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them #the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops! #my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities- #like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me) #but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask #i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them #i had a lot of fun answering this! #times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh #maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about) #it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer #ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us

#I teach a student who hit a wall a few weeks ago and just refused to go to school and was just all around struggling with his mental health #and this is not a kid who wants to talk to me about it or would even know how and I also know he has people where he can #But I’ve just tried to make sure that There’s a little extra contact and a few more questions and just a little bit more #and obviously I am not the cause of his doing better but overall I know that it helps #while still being such a subtle and ordinary human exchange that doesn’t force either of us to go to extreme lengths #like man I really LOVE that space and living in it #and just being a (hopefully) stable place for the kids to be seen in a small but consistent way #teaching tag #something about holding them in the safety of manners while also modeling what that looks like for them #it’s so gratifying to me and it helps me too! #like yes we should greet each other! We should ask how we’re doing! we should exchange pleasantries #and it’s important to me that that happens without getting personal sometimes or overly involved #pleasantries don’t have to be cold things and you can be seen and validated by a momentary kind glance as much as by someone digging #into your soul #it can be light and life-giving at the same time #it can be fun! #I’m sorry I’m rambling and over-saying this but it’s Saturday #!!!!!!

[moshieee]

so when IS your birthday? :0

I know right??? math is such a fun subject!!!

Open the tags if you dare

#i promise im not avoiding the question this is just funny #asks #honestly tho i do like math #english is one of my worst subjects because numbers make more sense to me #it funny that people look at me as an artist and are like “so you're majoring in art right?'” #nope lol im going into accounting #im decent at resource management and organization #i even got an award for most organized in my stage craft class #incase you dontnknow what stage craft is its basically the construction crew for the drama kids to do their thing #props costumes backgrounds lighting sound #all of that is stage craft stuff #do some math silly ✨ #and basically i got that award by organizing the entirety of the stagecraft room #everything was stored in there and it was a mess #ended up spending a few weeks just organizing the nails screws and bolts #was supposed to only take a few days but no one was helping #also had to organize them by length too #but in the end it was a lit of fun and not i have a cool poster up on my wall with my chosen name #so not all a loss #yes i am rambling on purpose #and i shall keep doing it now #but honestly its so nice that people are being more considerate of my pronouns and chosen name #i actually feel like im being respected as a person and not just a student #its like they didn't trust me to know myself before which is annoying #but hey i guess it could be worse #im living with my aunt now so thays a huge improvement #my parents may have tried but uhhh #they didn't always do the right thing #ok i think thats enough rambling for people to have stopped read at this point #i got to get ready for school now

[sysig]

They need long hair, and to put it in a bow! (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #The Captain #ZEX #DAX #It's very important! They gotta look like proper maritime pirates/naval officers! I need the cute little ribbons! #I'm chalking this one up to Muppet Treasure Island as well - Beaker's cute little ponytail got me bad you're welcome lol #Originally the Captain's was just on his own but then the others filed in politely lol #I never can decide on a human!ZEX look - especially since I want him to have long hair as a pirate! #Something something masculinity expressed through hair lengths - short military crop cut as well as long but tied up #Or not tied up 👀 It's all such a good look on him! But there must be an overall winner in there somewhere! #Also doesn't help that I can't decide on or pin down his facial structure or body type lol #I mean yes curvy obviously <3 But do I give him a strong jawline? It goes so well with his short-cropped hair but does it with long hair?? #I also think that any hairstyle can suit any face it's just jdkfslafd hard to draw in a way I can recreate and am happy with! #I'll get him yet! He won't escape me! He's too pretty to let go of! (Lol) #He's also harder to decorate with human ears haha ♪ He needs more hair accessories! More than just a ribbon! #I usually imagine him with finer hair so maybe one of those like ponytail accessories? What are they called uhhh #A ponytail wrap! That thing! Yes! :D He'd look great with a ponytail wrap! And it'd keep his hair out of the way! Lovely <3 #DAX also had to make an appearance obviously ♪ Love him too much to leave him out of the festivities I'm sure he's very happy lol #He did predominately get the eyepatch tho good for him - all sorts of accessories and useful human inventions! #Gets it gifted from ZEX like ''Oh ♥'' and then ZEX is like ''Isn't it great my Captain gave it to me but I like having both eyes free :D'' #Poor DAX haha ♪ #I'll give him a handsomer bow another time I'm sure he'd look great in something darker and more loose and flowy <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

blade gunnblade !!!!!!!!

via eliza simpson:

There are no words for this true warrior. They kill me. MMM: went in for a post show hug. Me:"ow!" Asia: "oh sorry, that's my bullet necklace." 😳........ 😍

#blade gunnblade #asia kate dillon #kapow-i gogo #eliza simpson of [angel & others in the mysteries] & [the mother line story project] & [saw ak dillon in triptych yes we're jealous] #& [princess cloudberry in kapow-i gogo] #here we also see stephen stout in the 1st pic but going ''!! surely our dear cherished blade gunnblade's back. hair's long though hmm'' #only to have that cleared up by the 3rd pic thank god ='] #i guess at some point blade gunnblade has blue hair & i do love that for them #i believe they're in part 3 but i have all the less information about that plausible appearance #(and of course still no info on [asia perhaps doubling roles with the longer black haired wig & ultracorp jacket in that one pic?]) #one thing that would be fascinating & fun is if part 3 blade has more of part 1 kapow-i's look. the bright blue hair #looks like pink lipstick. Pure Speculation but i know the like [this is reaction to You Know How Media Is] element discussed like #part 1 thinking most [sat. morning cartoons experience; the legend of] part 2 is like when these series get sequels or just some #ep or turning point that upends its own previous established conventions. Darker more Serious / Mature Themes etc #part 3 like well sequel to That which adds yet another layer of the same factor there lol #i'm not really that versed in All This Media directly b/c i'm not that versed in / familiar with much of any media directly but #i am also not completely at sea & also one thing i could think of is like. blade is our revenge vengeance tragic anti antagonist lmao #what if after that they get to lighten up in delightful contrast to the torment & tragedy. turn more optimistic moral support bestie etc #but like i said utter speculation based on ''oh this is a look they have?'' & comments on [comments on material commenting on itself] so #could be anything! or nothing! except that it's Something enough to have been photographed a couple of times. thank god #oh hang on also we can see that that's stephen stout's character in the pic of Wearing A Black Longer Haired Wig & Ultracorp Jacket #who's to say it isn't also: yes that's blade disguised or something. underneath they have this bright blue shorter wig & Blade Outfit lol #i would cheer for that. compelling #(also noting that it didn't preclude a doubling of roles instead but; that figure Is wearing blade's necklace. makes it easy to switch to #Blade Mode backstage; makes it easy to switch to Blade Mode onstage....) #which: noted! bullet necklace! makes sense lmao. sort of #also pic 2 ft. director kristin mccarthy parker fyi. and the typical blade hair length i.e. simply asia's own. #''😳........ 😍'' soooooo true ''MMM:'' standing for ''most memorable moment:'' and also sooooo true as well #blade gunnblade is everything to me. if they died in part 3 i'm blowing this whole building up. they have bright blue hair now

[keeps-ache]

ouh i'm hungryyy

but the only thing to eat is orangesss

i don't want to peel themmm cuz i don't like them under my nailssss

ouhuhguhg [dies]

#just me hi #food #i Know that it's not that bad when i actually do it but Man i Do Not Want To Peel That Thing #i could cut them but we only have butter knives so that means that the juice is gonna get my hands stickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #the only thing that worse than stuff under my nails is juice all over my gosh darn hands hhhhhhhhhh #but also i'm hungryyyyyy #auuuuuuughhghghghghghg #__(:'o_/)\__ #i am in Misery there ain't nobody who can comfort me oh yea #don't want to peel that Thing the texture will absolutely annihilate me oo yada yada yada #//yeah i could wash a knife. but do you realize what that would require #i'd have to walk alllllll the way to the bathroom - which is already a house's length away! - with a knife - #i don't like carrying knives it makes me nervous- PLUS it's like a community bathroom so IMAGINE i walk all the way there with a watermelon #knife (looks like a watermelon) and somebody comes out and sees me carrying a knife unsafely! i'd go out King Saul style at that point - #and then i have to WASH the dang thing. and my hands have to be cold and wet. can you believe that. Cold and Wet!!! #and that's if i somehow don't commit murder on the way there cuz apparently there's no way you can hold a knife Ever #//ANYWAY. #i guess i'm gonna peel the orange hvhhhvs #morning dramatics are over! #//this orange is COLD and i have to Peel It aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #//ok i'm done or else my horrible horrible turmoils will all be catalogued for future historians #going to peel this orange </3

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.

#Like in fairness I was in an incredibly abusive environment already #Questioning my gender was the last fuckin thing I needed so I was just like “that's a problem for later” #Butttttttttt... Now I've got no idea what I'm doing #Like I've cut my hair??? I like looking like a boy???? #But I also know that a few months ago I was straight up wearing floor length skirts on the daily and braiding my hair with flowers?????? #and my definition of “boy” and “man” is so inherently fucked up bc of the abuse that I'm unwilling to actually use those words??? #And I chose the name I use for a reason as a promise (long story) but it's really feminine???? #And it'd be nice if people would be ok with using two different names for me if it turns out I am genderfluid but????? #They almost certainly won't?????? #Like most of them refuse to use my chosen name anyway and I'm just. To polite to correct them. #no I'm not canadien I'm british #Anyway help? #Bc I realised all this the other day LITERALLY AN HOUR before I went on stage and almost had a complete breakdown?????? #good news is there's this trans boy in my performing arts group and he was so nice and supportive that I didn't cry in the end #much anyway but still?????? I procrastinated my fucking gender????????? And now I'm fuckin confused??????? #Also I can now cosplay one of my OCs #So that's cool #Remember the name Becky Roberts guys #Like if I am trans for genderfluid or whatever it'll help next year with The Plan (which I may elaborate on if asked) #but also???? My parents still refuse to accept that I'm a lesbian if I tell them “yo I periodically become a boy” #They'll probably yell at me at BEST #“that's not a real thing!!!” NEITHER IS YOUR FAÇADE OF A HAPPY FAMILY BUT YOU BELIEVE IN THAT #*ahem* anyway yeah I'm struggling if anyone has any advice pls help #Oh and I've only told like one person I've cut my hair and I'm meeting up with a load of friends on Sunday #Bwhahahhahahahhah #help me #tw abuse mention #queer community