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enhashoutout · 3 months

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Things I noticed while watching High and Low the Worst X again

I was watching High and Low The Worst X while I was on lunch break and then had more realizations and wanted to write about them lol

These are probably nothing new and someone else probably already noticed these but I wanted to make a post about them sooooo

I’ve watched the movie so many times now idk why I just realized the weight of the three scenes I’m about to talk about. But also I feel like I notice something new every time I watch the movies so I'm gonna cut myself some slack.

Amagai being the only character in the movie who genuinely doesn’t have a sense of friendship/comradery with anyone else.

The first time we see the 3 schools alliance meeting is the opening of the movie, and I remember when I first watched the movie I was like "well damn this looks like a solid ass team" only to find out later that they were in fact not really a team lol 😂 but anywaysss

Watching the movie this time I just realized what Fujin says to Amagai in the first scene in the restaurant where the 3 schools are holding their meetings.

Reiji is first to jump up and say "Let's get this brawl started," and Ghandi jumps in telling Amamgai that their troupes and weapons are ready. Shoji laughs and says that weapons are typical Kamasaka behavior which prompts them to jump at him and Fujin, Raijin, and the other Ebara guys jump straight to his defense while Shoji continues sitting. Amagai tells them to "get us more" while tossing the money bundles in their direction.

Every single fuckin character in this scene's facial expressions have me dying because the disbelief on their faces😂

Shoji looking at Amagai like he's full of shit.

Fujin, Raijin, and Ghandi are looking at him like "wtf?"

The background characters are looking at him in disbelief also like I was WHEEZING when I realized this. Back to the characters who are the main focus of this specific camera frame though, Ghandi and Fujin.

Both characters turn to Amagai with the BIGGEST look of disbelief on their faces and Fujin says "You don't trust we can do it huh?"

To which Amagai says "What's the use in trusting you guys?" and goes on a spiel about how being powerful means you trust no one and not even giving them a slight chance. He also goes on to say that being powerful means bringing everyone else down to their knees and tells the other 3 schools "Just shut up and stick with me. I'll show you what it's like to be at the top." Ryo's face when he says this is a whole other conversation for another day.

I'M SORRY BUT THE LOOKS REIJI AND SHOJI GIVE HIM AFTER HIS LITTLE SPIEL HAD ME ROLLING🤣 Like both characters gave him the most judgmental expression and then you got Shoji over here looking away and rolling his eyes PUH-LEASE I AM DEAD🤣

Aside from all of this being extremely funny to me, this plays into my point from above. Yes, all these looks are super funny but it really shows how as "bad" as the other guys are they still run in the same way that Oya and the other S.W.O.R.D gangs do, through friendship and comradery.

Fujin asked "You don't trust we can do it huh?" because Ebara most likely runs on comradery as well. You don't pay someone to do shit for you, they just know to trust each other to get it done. This is a concept that Amagai does not and can not understand because he's been conditioned to believe that the people around him are not worthy of trust or friendship due to his status, they just work for him. As long as he throws money at their feet, they'll do what he wants.

That's like kind of sad actually, the fact that the other "antagonists" of the film still know friendship and he doesn't... I still hate his guts though. We love Ryoki but we don't love his character Amagai.

The way Shoji vs Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he’s working for Amagai

I think everyone can agree that within that 3 school alliance, Shoji Sameoka was the only character with working brain cells (full offense to all the other characters lol no one else in that room had critical thinking skills I swear). From the first meeting we see, the audience can already tell Shoji is the only character who has doubts about this alliance but also questions it; while everyone else has doubts but proceed to just follow Amagai's orders. This eventually leads to Shoji being the one to suggest that Ebara drop out of the alliance because he thinks it’s stupid which then leads to him agreeing to Todoroki’s terms of dropping out of the alliance if Todoroki wins against Fujin and Raijin. I feel like Shoji as a person judges the other characters based on what he knows/hears about them.

We see this when he confronts Suzaki. Shoji asks Suzaki why he would come to Senomon and work under Amagai when he was the one running Nami High. Suzaki tells him to mind his own business. Shoji is asking Suzaki from a place of strength. Based on the dialogue, it seems like Shoji knew Suzaki and Amagai’s reputations before this alliance. I deduce this down to Shoji knowing that Suzaki was the strongest at Nami High and knowing that Amagai isn’t actually physically strong compared to the other characters, he just likes to cause trouble and make others work for him. People fear Amagai not for his strength or skills as a fighter, but simply because he has the money and status to be at the “top”.

This brings me to believe that Shoji was asking why someone as strong as Suzaki would even work under Amagai who is clearly not a match for him strength wise. It seems like Shoji is asking Suzaki why he would be scared of Amagai’s money and work under him when Suzaki is clearly stronger. I think this is because the Ebara guys ranks are based on their strength/who is the strongest (I make this assumption from the fact that Fujin and Raijin are straight up gym bros lol) so Shoji can’t understand why Suzaki is working under someone clearly weaker than him.

Tsukasa’s question is the same….. but also different.

Tsukasa strikes me as someone who really gets to know someone personally to the best of his abilities before he makes his own judgment on them. We see this with Rao in the movie. Tsukasa could’ve taken everyone’s word for it and been like “oh Rao is a big mean monster” but he takes it upon himself to find out who Rao actually is through Mercy. This is how he finds out Rao isn’t actually all that bad like the stories suggests and that Rao fights for good reason (for his siblings). This trait about Tsukasa is why he asks Suzaki why he fights for Amagai but is also why he’s the only one who is able to understand why Suzaki fights for Amagai without a direct answer.

When Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he works for Amagai, he says “why do you work for a guy like him? Does he has some kind of dirt on you?” and Suzaki just keeps quiet. This brings me to believe that Suzaki probably had a reputation for being the strongest at Nani High but also fought people within reason, he didn’t flaunt his strength just because he felt like it.

Tsukasa asked him based off the kind of person he is and not his strength. I'm assuming Ryo fought people within reason and not so much for fun or to assert his dominance over others with his strength, so him working under someone who has as shitty of a personality as Amagai probably threw Tsukasa off a bit.

He is also however able to tell that there is a friendship there even if it isn't great. At the end when Yuken and Todoroki ask why Ryo would work for someone like Amagai, Tsukasa says it's because he means more to Ryo than that. Alluding to the fact that Ryo is doing stuff for Amagai because he sees him as a friend even if everyone else doesn't.

Okay, I'm done now😂 this wasn't as deep as my other analysis because it's not super deep with comparisons or anything like that it was just stuff I noticed while watching the movie again.

I have fics I'm working on for all the S.W.O.R.D leaders and more for Fujio I'm just swamped with assignments and working a little slow

#high&low #high and low #oya high #high&low story of sword #oya kou #the rampage from exile tribe #makoto hasegawa #yoshino hokuto #senomon tech #high&low x reader

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xneontragedyx · 20 days

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Is it emotional abuse if my boyfriend says he hates me, doesn’t want me, and that I’ve been nothing but a shit girlfriend?

Yes it is. When someone puts you down and attempts to make you feel less than, it is indeed abuse. You don’t need that in your life. If someone cares for you, they will motivate you and lift you up, not tear you down. If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. If he feels that way then why is he with you? Better still, whey are you with him?

Move on and leave that abusive idiot to his own misery. Never let anyone break your spirit or your heart. You are worth more than that. The fact is that he needs you a lot more than you need him. Personally; I wouldn’t waste my time, but that is a decision you will have to make. Would you want your daughter to be treated that way? I don’t think so. Then why would you permit yourself to be? Np man is worth that Dear. Walk away now. There is no happily ever after to this.

Yes, it is.

Tell him if he's that unhappy, and if he thinks you're such as awful person, that he is more than welcome to walk his ass out the nearest door and get the fuck out of your life, and the sooner, the better.

Or you can leave him. Whichever is most convenient for you. Either way, dtmfa.

My ex was mad at me because apparently I was stupid and blind for not seeing the truth because he directly told me in his own way what he was doing but you know I don't speak cheater so I didn't I mean when you're not the other way over my head I didn't get it but yeah he he used to drop him some stuff and I just wouldn't get it cuz like I thought we were fine but yeah he would have a girl on the side and when I went to work on my daughter went to school she would come over from like 8:00 in the morning till like 3:00 or something maybe like 2:30 or whatever sometimes he would get her like a taxi like a taxi f I don't know I saw this online taxiF. I don't know what that is but it seems like a really shady like delivery of thing like a drivers and stuff I don't know it doesn't really explain what it is you know but it seems shady he also had on his thing had privacy.com which is you can like buy things hotels go out to eat pay for whatever but it's connected to your bank account but it's under like an alias like a hidden name so he had that and then he had live 360 which is a GPS for whoever signs up it's supposed to be like a positive thing right but he managed to like do something to the GPS where it gave off false locations to where it look like he was working but he was really like doing something else so he was doing all these things and then like he was cheating on me for a year and a half I think he got fed up because the girl was like waiting for him to like break up with me so he started getting really like like totally like a dick just so mean I try to work things out with him and but he finally like I don't know he was like I can't do this anymore and he broke the lease he broke the lease and that was that. Later on I found out that he was talking like mad s*** about me and my daughter saying that I was like a bad mom my daughter is a spoiled brat and lazy probably has ADHD or something he said I was fat ugly and dumb that all I was good for is the money he pretty much called me a cash cow and he said I had nothing of value to offer

Yes . This is so very sad. Learn the grey rock method here on Quora to help you. If possible , get into some therapy. He’s insecure and wants you to be also. He will not change , in fact this kind of person will become worse. The worst thing about this , is now you’re questioning yourself. He wants this …. Now he’s made his goal. Which is to upset you , confuse you , & to have you wa...

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What do I do with my boyfriend who treats me like he hates me and emotionally abuses me, then the next minute he's sweet? I've asked him to move out, but he won't leave, or tell me what he wants. Just silence and no love, but won't leave, why?

I might classify that as emotional abuse.

The more important issue is why are you still using the term “boyfriend” to refer to this person. How about promoting him to “ex-boyfriend”? Problem solved!

Break up with him.

He is, in the simplest human terms, a monster.

You don’t allow this.

You do not love him. You may have become desperate for his approval but he is unworthy of anything but contempt.

Save yourself. This is NOT love.

Honey do yourself a big favour and trade this fool in for a real one who will want you and respect you for who you are.

He is not your boyfriend, he is a boy who is abusing you to make himself feel better about himself.

Get rid of him dear.

I would definitely grant his wishes for being single! What an ass he is!!

You’re going to be so much better without him!!

Best wishes

Girl, Get you another boyfriend. Right Now!. You don’t need abuse from him. If you don’t get rid of him. He is going to start physically abusing you. I know you don’t want that to happen to you. So get rid of him now. Good Luck

Because he’s a selfish jerk, that’s why.

First, I’m going to tell you this: I’m 65 (female), married four times and several lovers. That’s my experience-and “hard education”.

Now, I’m going to tell you something that you don’t want to hear, but I say it to help you. Which I take it- is the only real reason that you are writing here.

Every time, from what I have experienced myself or observed in another’s relationship, (did I say EVERY SINGLE TIME), this behavior from a man meant that he was “cheating”.

I’m truly sorry to tell you-no woman wants to hear it. And many, MANY will just not let themselv

Yep. And you should leave his sorry pathetic abusive ass ASAP! He is an insecure loser who is taking out his feelings of failure and shortcomings out on you. You are nobody’s whipping post and you shouldn't accept being treated less than a person. Pack your stuff and get out before he takes it to the next level—and he will.

Good luck.

You would be abusing yourself if you remain in that relationship.

Why does my narcissistic boyfriend give me the feeling he hates me?

Because he does.

You are whole and he is sucking off your qualities and abilities, and he hates you for being better than him.

He resents you for being weak and a fool and letting him use you at the same time.

Please ditch that waste of human breath. Being alone is far better than being a narc feeder.

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

It doesn’t matter whether your boyfriend meant he hates during an argument. The fact that he said it should be enough to turn you away from him, Let your life change to something good you deserve.

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Original question: My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

44yr old male answer.

Get rid of his tailend. I told both of my boys if you want to be treated like a King they had to treat their ladies like Queens.

If he hit you and later said he didn't mean it I would hope that you get the hell away from him. That's what he is doing now but with words. I'm not saying he will turn physically abusive but the possibility of him becoming that way if he is verb

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What should I do if my boyfriend says he hates me and doesn't want me right now, but will soon, and to just give him time?

Why can’t I leave my narcissist boyfriend? I am miserable. He mentally and emotionally abuses me. Why do I keep letting this happen?

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Why is it that when my boyfriend gets mad at me he says he hates me and I’m a worthless person?

What should you do when your boyfriend hates you?

What do I do when my boyfriend is all I want in a guy but has anger issues and emotionally abusive when he gets angry?

Why does my boyfriend treat me like he hates me but says he doesn’t, but treats me that way?

#tfatws #my otp #andrespatino #escrituras

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thesoulspulse · 3 years

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When Blue Eyes Meet (Good Vlad AU ~ Oneshot)

Summary: I couldn't sleep and got this beautifully heartfelt idea in my head about how my Good Vlad met his cat Madison for the first time and how she helped turn his life around. It's about she adopted him, sensing how bad Vlad needed a friend after Jack and Maddie moved on with their lives until they finally meet again at their college reunion. Warning, this mentions character death.

Vlad's POV

I'll never forget that day, the day I met a very special little lady.

I had only been fully discharged from the hospital for a few weeks but...after I insisted on making sure Jack and Maddie could move on with their own lives without me since I wouldn't drag them down, but once returned home I was suddenly reminded of how alone in the world I really was now. Both my parents had passed away before I started my freshman year of college but they left me with everything I would need to secure a bright future, even the house which gave me a place to return to in the first place since we had no idea the accident would result in me being bedridden for several years.

But as soon as I stepped inside the house, just like my heart it felt so...hollow.

The warmth I used to feel there was long gone, and it had nothing to do with still needing to pay the heating bill. And I suppose it's fortunate that the money I had set aside to pay for my school supplies and my half of the rent was enough to pay for my hospital bills so I had just enough left over to invest in gaining a new lease on life after the accident. It would take time, but I was confident I would be able to go back and continue my studies eventually, but for now I need to focus on figuring out how to cope with the other huge transformation I had undergone.

I almost had to laugh at the irony because perhaps I'm only living a half-life since the accident turned me half-ghost. It was difficult at first, hiding the truth about my condition not only from Jack and Maddie, but the nurses and doctors as well. Thankfully, I inherited my father's sharp wits and managed to conceal my powers fairly well. As for the rest, it was just easier to let people assume they were only seeing things whenever they saw a strange light or my hand seemed to pass through solid objects. After all, who would ever believe that a human with ghost powers could possibly exist...?

Still, I suppose one good thing about returning to that house is that it was nice to finally be able to relax somewhat knowing I wouldn't need to hide my powers from anyone, or at least not nearly as often when I was still a patient. I would still have to be careful if someone came to visit me, but honestly the odds of that happening ere highly unlikely. I say this because I have no living relatives left. No parents, no cousins or siblings, just me.

Sighing I set down my bags and started unpacking boxes. I needed something else to occupy my thoughts because I still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that I lost my scholarship. Realistically I knew that couldn't be helped given what happened to me so instead I turned my attention to the things I still could control, such as ensuring I still had a place to live since I was no longer a student and Jack wasn't my roommate anymore.

Speaking of which, right from the start I wanted make sure to avoid living somewhere with too many people around so although my original plan was to move back here after graduation I made the decision to return to this town ahead of schedule in light of my extenuating circumstances.

There were still faint traces of my old life here back from when my parents were still alive such as my father's desk and my mother's cooking supplies. And quite honestly, being back here and suddenly feeling their absence all over again...it made me sad. I missed them, just as much I miss Jack and Maddie but I had to start moving on too. So I shook my head, turned our old record player, and kept myself busy by unpacking my belongings.

Luckily I had everything I owned in the dorm moved here after it became painfully clear I wouldn't be able to attend classes anymore due to my critical condition. Jack and Maddie offered to do it for me personally but I declined their kind off because for one thing I didn't want them to find out where I live before I had enough time to gain full control of my powers, and for another I wanted to make a clean break for their sake...

I was dangerous to be around whether I liked it or not so exposing them to danger while my powers were still a bit difficult to control was not a risk I was willing to take. Especially since those two are all I had left and someday...I really hoped I'd be able to meet them again and tell them the truth about my powers. But until then, all I could do was try my best to start over and hope for the best.

Once I settled in, I began testing out my powers more, taking notes, pushing my limits, and yet the more I learned about myself the more I wished I had someone to share my discoveries with. Jack could be overzealous at times, but I missed how excited we both felt after making a new discovery about ghosts or ectoplasmic energy. And Maddie, she always knew how to reign us in so we could look at things more objectively even though she was usually just as eager to find out more too.

Having no one left to talk to or come home to had finally started to get to me and sadly as a result that's when the nightmares started up again too. Just like back in the hospital I would wake up in a cold sweat, clutching the sheets in both fists as the ghostly blue glow of my eyes cast flickering shadows on the walls. I had gotten careless because I thought I would be alright as long as I didn't have to worry about a doctor or a nurse walking in at any second and seeing my eyes glowing in the darkness.

That's when I realized I had to do something about this before things escalated even further and my emotions spiraled out of control again without some sort of outlet. I needed to make a connection, a way to overcome this shadow looming over me, so I considered seeing a therapist to prevent these nightmares from overtaking me. But I was afraid that if I did talk to someone...what if I became too emotional and exposed my powers to them? That could be a huge problem. I could always overshadow them, but I'd still be avoiding dealing with this terrible helplessness I felt.

That day, I was wandering around town in a daze, conflicted about how to deal with the problem when I happened to enter a local animal shelter. The people at the front desk were friendly, but I had never considered how my...ghostly attributes might make most animals wary of me since they have a sixth sense for the supernatural which quite honestly made me feel even more detached from the person I once was. As a boy I got along well with most animals but I never felt particularly attached to them. Dogs were a bit too energetic for my tastes and I had to deal with that enough with Jack but cats on the other hand, well I have always appreciated their independent spirit but I never considered them to be very affectionate animals...

That all changed the instant I saw her.

On my way out the door after satisfying my idle curiosity about how animals seem to perceive me now that I'm only half human I noticed this sleek black kitten staring directly at me with the most stunning blue eyes I've ever seen and when our eyes met, what I felt...I can't even describe it. It felt as though she was looking right at me, into my heart, and for the first time since the accident, it was like someone had noticed how lost I was and there was this unmistakable look of gentle sympathy in her eyes.

Mesmerized by her gaze, I turned around and asked the person at the desk more about her and they told me she had been abandoned which I could relate to to some degree. To be fair I hadn't been abandoned necessarily, but I felt that way sometimes since it was gradually becoming harder and harder to wake up alone in that empty house every morning, not sure what I should be doing with the rest of my life now that I'm all alone and don't have friends to confide in anymore I can visit whenever I want.

Impulsively I asked if I could hold her and they agreed, smiling at me secretively as if they already knew I felt an instant attachment to her and as soon as they handed her to me...she clung to me like her life depended on it and then crawled up onto my shoulders, wrapping her tiny body around my neck as much as possible and as soon as she was comfortable she started purring. It was like a hug of sorts and I had no idea how starved for the gentle contact from another living creature of any kind from someone that wasn't just another doctor poking and prodding me that all I remember is falling to my knees soon after, sobbing and resting my cheek against her head as she rubbed against me, licking away my tears.

Finally, I thought, this is what I've been searching for ever since I came home. I've missed having someone there who cares about me, someone to remind me that I'm not alone, someone who can stay by my side so I don't have to suffer in silence anymore without a friend there to comfort me just when I start to think I can't bear it anymore.

I'm sure everyone who saw me that day were just as stunned as I was by my meltdown, but I didn't care. I needed her. And she needed me, no, for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom she WANTED to be with me and no one else. It's like she had been waiting for me to walk in that door from the very start. Waiting for me to give her a home, a family, and most importantly...a name. And that name would become a bond that could never be broken, not even after her tragic death some years later when she returned to my side once more as a ghost because she knew I still desperately needed a friend-

And that's how Madison became my closest and dearest companion.

We’ve been inseparable ever since.

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alldayangst · 3 years

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love someone for loving you (Peter Parker)

All of my fics are LGBT and PoC friendly. Soulmate and uni AU.

PAIRING: Peter Parker x reader, Brad Davis x reader (for like, a second)

Warnings: Makeout sessions. Characters drink but they’re of age to do so in this fic. Peter says ACAB and if you disagree with that & can’t have a mature convo about it, then this isn’t the blog for you. This fic isn’t all the way accurate to the MCU timeline. Harry [Osborn] and MJ live in Queens. Betty, Flash, Ned, Brad, Peter and reader all attend NYU in Brooklyn.

Thank you for reading if you make it all the way to the end! Word count: 4.2K words.

Happy reading!

“You’re so fucking hot, y’know that?” You were making out with Brad in your dorm room, with the lights off. Brad was a nice enough guy. Had taken you out on a few dates. Told you your hair was pretty. Said he’d like to get to know you more. But you’re not as eager to take things further because something in your heart just knows he’s not your soulmate. And you’d like to wait a little while for the novelty to wear off before you did something you regretted and entered a relationship you’d known was doomed from the start. “So fucking hot.” Brad kissed along your neck, big sloppy wet ones that left saliva trails from his lips to your neck.

You didn’t like that kind.

And that was another reason you knew you and Brad weren’t destined, because your soulmate would just know what you like, know you like the back of their hand. Right? Right.

It’s then that Brad tries to take your jumper off, but your soulmate tattoo is on your ribcage, and in this world, letting someone see your soulmate tattoo is probably makes you more vulnerable than getting naked in front of them. You try to pull your jumper down, but Brad doesn’t get the hint and tries again. You place your hands on his chest. “Not today, Brad.”

You don’t see Brad again. And maybe Brad was your soulmate because he led you to Peter. But Peter definitely wasn’t your soulmate, and I’ll tell you why you know that.

“Y/N!” Betty waved as you stumbled back into the party, shoes placed on improperly and no part of you subtle to what you’d been doing with Brad in your room just a few minutes ago. “Not you out of your room so early!” Your room door slammed behind you as Brad left your room, jacket in hand.

“Didn’t get any?” Betty made a fake pout at you, smoke breezing past her face as you stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do as you found yourself in a circle with two of Betty’s friends she’d had yet to introduce you to. Sometimes, you wished Betty was your soulmate, but Betty made it clear before you signed the lease that you weren’t her type and truly, you couldn’t see yourself being anything more than friends. And you were the best of friends. Meaning she’d always be the first to comment heart eyes under your pictures and tell you to get that outfit because your booty was doing the thang in that pair of trousers.

Things would just be easier, if they were easy.

But things weren’t handed on a silver plate for you like they were for others; where they’d been friends with their soulmates since childhood, or lived up the street from them or their soulmate saved their life or something else blindly obvious. And, desperate to find the gold in the treasure chest, you moved upstate to school at NYU. Because great minds and all that. You stood in perfect silence for a minute, chaos never ceasing to happen around you, before Betty decided to make the strangers next to her strangers no more. One shook your hand and said, “I’m Ned.” Oh. So this is who Betty had been raving about? Betty grimaced and placed her hands together to plead with you not to expose her consuming infatuation with her new boyfriend. In a bid to divert the focus, Betty patted the back of the slightly taller one next to Ned, with wispy brown hair and eyes like fresh, raw cocoa. “I’m Peter, nice to meet you.” He shook your hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you guys.” You sway your attention back to Ned with a smirk on your face, Betty clutching her solo cup a little too hard, her inner monologue begging you to knock it off. You knew Betty was going to get you back for this, but you needed somewhere else to fixate your gaze since you weren’t sure you could trust yourself not to ogle at Peter. With Brad’s saliva on your neck and having only known him for all of twenty seconds, you weren’t sure if Peter would take to any romantic advances. You weren’t even sure if he’d met his soulmate. “So, I’ve heard a lot about you, Ned.”

“All good I hope.” Ned replies and the room glints with his boyish grin.

“Well-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence, and it was probably for the better. Betty grabbed Ned’s arm, vodka making tiny puddles on the floor, with a huge fake smile plastered on her face. In turn, that only gave you a great, genuine smile, loving to tease your friend. “Baby! We should go to another side of the party!”

“What about Peter?” Ned’s voice was getting lost in the jungle of party goers. “Peter can come.” Peter turned to go follow his friend, but not before mumbling a low, “See you around, Y/N.”, snaking his arms around your back, pulling you in for a quick hug. “See you around, Peter.”

He didn’t reply. Peter could only give you a thin lipped smile, packaged with a lazy half-nod before he was absorbed by the population around him, just as his friend was. And you cursed yourself that night for not taking your chances and saying more.

History was an 8am class, your only class in the morning. You woke with a a dull ache in your head and a dark mark on your neck that lasted longer than your relationship with the guy that gave it to you. The last thing you wanted was to run into Brad. But destiny offered you the next best thing.

“Oh. Hi, Flash.” You attempted to cover your face with your copy of Romeo & Juliet - if your soulmate was here, the last person you wanted them to see you with was Flash Thompson. Flash was walking backwards as you were walking forwards, unamused by his efforts to corner you. “Can we talk, Y/N?” Flash was Brad’s best friend, so you knew you were in for trouble.

“Can’t Brad speak to me himself? His mouth was working last night.”

“I can see that Y/N. Nice hickey.” You cringed, and Flash could tell he was running out of time to bemuse you. “Brad doesn’t want to bother you if you’re not interested-”

“Oh, so you decide to bother me instead.” You remark, and hop over a couple of steps so Flash had to awkwardly speed up.

“I just wanted to ask where you and him stood. Like, are you breaking up with him? I thought you had a pretty good thing going on.” His pace started to slow again as you slowly ascended up some of the last sets of steps. “I mean, seriously Y/N? What if you guys were soulmates? I wouldn’t wanna give up so easily.”

“That’s true.” You looked down at your sneakers. You hated this version of the world you lived in. Everything was driven by concepts, whether it be the concept of soulmates or the concept of time that left your campus filled with students five years older than they really were, or the concept of good and evil that spawned superheroes who you weren’t sure did more damage to the world than they gave back.

Overall, the concept of fate was once you had to always wrestle with. And you thought that maybe yours was standing at the top of the steps to rescue you from this conversation, ready to make Brad feel the trip of the guilt he and his friend tried to make you feel for not feeling the same way. “Y/N! We have class, c’mon!” Peter waved his goggles at the top of the steps, a knowing smile on his face as Flash looked up at him and glared.

Peter just had to steal his thunder on a sunny day.

You ran to meet Peter at the top of the steps. “Thank you for bailing me out. You’re a hero.”

Peter was startled. “Who, what, when, where, me?” He scratched the back of his neck and gave you an uncomfortable, stammered loop of laughter. “Hero? Not me. I’m just good ol’ Peter.”

You chuckled as you breathed out another ‘thank you’ and returned the hug Peter had left un-exchanged last night. “I’m guessing you have bio?”

“Guilty as charged. So what’s your major?”

“English Lit.”

“Oo, how long are you planning to work at Starbucks?” Peter remarked as he held to the main door open for you. “Peter?” He hummed in response. “Fuck you.”

You sat next to Betty in History, the professor droning on about something that made you question why you continued to take History, but as your best friend snatched your book from you, you were reminded. “Star crossed lovers, eh?” Betty skimmed through the fights and the love scenes that all culminated to the uncertainty whether Romeo and Juliet were even supposed to be together.

“Seems like you and Ned these days, huh.” You couldn’t believe that it had taken Betty three months to allow you to meet Ned, nevermind his cute friend. Ever since the ‘boyfriend’ label had been slapped on their little love affair a month and a half ago, you were beginning to see less and less of your best friend. It felt like two people paying for a single household, and with your lease ending in a short time, you worried Betty would almost evaporate from your life completely.

“Almost.” Betty tried to keep it hush, sheepishly grinning, but gave in completely in record time. “We said we’re gonna show each other our tattoos tonight!” She squealed, another student shushing her from the row above.

“Woah, that’s big!” It genuinely felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you. You realised you’d never gotten as far as Ned and Betty without either you or you partner showing your soulmate tattoo; and when they were never the same, you broke it off. “What if they’re not the same?”

“They will be.” Betty smiled. “I’m sure of it.”

Two loners getting together was never a recipe for success. Betty had given over your number to Ned, who handed it over to Peter, who’d texted you asking for you to come over: ‘wanna make it up to me for this morning at the steps? my bestie is with your bestie, so u wanna get pizza? do you like pineapple?’

Sure enough, you were over at Ned & Peter’s within ten minutes, Peter swinging the door open dressed in a tight red and blue top, a hoodie sparsely covering it, with an overexcited greeting of “Mi casa es su casa!”

The energy wasn’t returned. Not just yet. You had to be sure of something first. “Don’t tell me that there’s an American flag top under that hoodie.” Peter looks down at his Spidey suit which he’d completely forgotten he had on between scaling the ceiling in anxious anticipation of your text back. “Having such a boner for the USA is kind of a turn off.”

Peter started cussing under his breath and quickly turned to zip his hoodie all the way up. When he turns back to you, it’s word vomit. “I’m not saying I don’t love this country, I mean, I love Queens. I mean-”

You raise your eyebrows, curious to see where Peter would go with this. “The NYPD fucking hates me,”

“And what would they want with your little ass?” You walk into the apartment. He’d never admit it, but Peter kind of likes the way you bust his balls. It puts him on the spot, makes him want to tell the truth to you about who he really is.

“I mean, I can’t really say-”

“OK. I don’t wanna be an accessory to anything so,” You laugh. “I won’t push. ACAB.” There’s a thud that follows you closing the door.

“I agree. ACAB.”

A few hours pass with Peter and he’s beginning to unravel. He shows you the photos he’s taken over the years, several of them featuring a fair haired boy you’d never seen around campus before. “Is he your soulmate?”

Peter nearly chokes on the coffee he’d prepared for himself. “No. Harry? In his dreams.” He sets his mug down. “No, uh, that’s my friend. He lives back home in Queens.”

“You say back home like Queens isn’t a 10 minute drive from where we are.”

“Yeah. But it’s not right here.” You weren’t sure if you’d bruised Peter’s feelings, so you move onto another photo. There’s a polaroid that makes a thin pile with another on the table.

It’s the New York City skyline, from all the way up.

“How’d you get a photo from all the way up here?” Peter grabs the photo underneath it, but not before you catch a glimpse. The glossy paper is adorned with an image of a beautiful girl, black necklace around her neck, the scribbles underneath her photo reading ‘MJ, Pre-blip’.

You think this girl is too gorgeous to just be a friend.

But judging by the way Peter reacted when you suggested Harry was the same, you kept quiet. He didn’t want you to see it anyway.

“I’m really sticky and I climb up walls.” Peter being Peter is relieved he told you the truth, even if you didn’t know it.

“You’re weird, kid.” You thought you were being smooth, but you couldn’t help the way you look at his lips like they hold the answer to every question you’d had in your life.

“Uh-huh. But you like a bit of weird. Maybe Brad was too square for you.”

“Huh?”

“Huh.”

And then when you and Peter kiss, you suddenly understand what poets mean when they call your lips jigsaw puzzles, because yours and Peter’s slot perfectly together. And you get why there’s all these love songs on the radio, and you feel the Earth shift in your mind and you just know this is the unmistakeable indicator that Peter is your soulmate. Another reason you and Peter are destined, when he goes to kiss your neck, it’s like soft little hot touches.

You liked that kind.

And a soulmate would just know that, know you like the back of their hand. Right? Right.

Peter rests his forehead on your own, lips swollen. “I don’t want to go anywhere, don’t wanna do anything you don’t wanna do.”

You and Peter cuddle for the rest of the night on his sofa, Ned and Betty doing the same on yours. And the novelty picks back up like clockwork.

“Peter? What if we aren’t soulmates?” you groaned, Peter’s hand on your head, keeping you snug to his chest. You and Peter had been dating close to two months now, Ned and Betty moving to five. In any other relationship, you would’ve called this phase The Ticking Time Bomb. You toyed with the black dahlia that sat perfectly between his pecs. Peter had been to Queens last week. He’d retrieved his necklace from the girl in the photo, MJ. She was an old friend, he said. Him and her? Not meant to be. Maybe in another life, he’d say. Another timeline. Then he’d gesture between the two of you. This. This is meant to be. Us.

Peter shrugged. “What if we weren’t?” Peter had an almost permanent bandage on his ribcage, exactly where your soulmate tattoo was. Where and how Peter got injured was a mystery to you, and he’d never dare tell you no matter how much you pushed. It almost made you wonder if he was keeping any more secrets from you.

You propped yourself up, both hands on his chest.

“I couldn’t move back in with Betty. She and Ned are soulmates, they need their privacy.”

“Who said you’d ever to move back in with Betty?”

“I couldn’t afford to live by myself, Peter. Not everyone had a Stark internship in high school.”

“Who said you’d have to move out at all?”

“If we’re not soulmates-” Peter moved your hands from his chest and wrapped them around your waist, pulling you in for a loving kiss. “What have I told you? You and me, we’re meant to be. Us.”

But you didn’t have the tattoos to prove it.

You and Betty were sitting in History class, ignoring the professor’s droning as per usual. Betty had this beaming smile on her face and you were sure if she didn’t say what was on her mind soon, she was going to explode all over someone’s Henry VIII’s notes.

“Betty?”

“Yeah?” She shrieked with scarlet cheeks.

“Spill.”

Betty let out a breath. “Well, since you insisted.” You couldn’t help but smile at your best friend. “I think Ned might propose tonight!”

“I feel like you should be taking me out to dinner before you dump all this load on me.”

Betty’s eyes glazed over, obviously too excited to contain her emotions. “What about you and Peter? The tattoos must match up since you’ve stayed around this long.”

“Actually, I-”

Betty makes an O face at you, which told you she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “C’mon. You haven’t played I’ll Show You Mine if you Show Me Yours?” Betty was in awe. “Y/N! You must really like him.”

You did really like Peter. That was the issue. You weren’t ready to feel jaded if your tattoos didn’t match up like they all inevitably did in the past. You felt something different for Peter. Betty was right. That was why you stuck around this long. “Hey Betty, is my old room still my room if things between me and Peter don’t work out?”

“Of course, Y/N! I’m here for you til’ the end of the line.” Betty pulled you into a great, big hug.

“OK. Session dismissed.” Your professor echoed. “Everyone can go. Y/N and Betty, stay after please.”

You’d gotten kicked off of History, which was bittersweet. Seeing as History was Betty’s major, your professor had to keep her there - but he was sure ‘she’d flourish once you two were separated.’

You and Betty walked out of the main entrance, Ned and Peter both waiting for you under the shelter at the top of the steps. Seasons had changed. It was far from the summer day Peter had to spotted you on the way to class. “We’re gonna run in, drink some cocoa. We’ll catch you guys later.” Ned shivered as Betty re-engulfed him in his jacket she’d been holding for the scent.

Love was weird, but you wanted so bad to be a part of it.

You turned to Peter beside you. “And what are we gonna do?”

“Swinging.”

“Peter, I don’t swing. I’m perfectly happy in our relationship.”

Peter held onto your waist, your head nuzzled into his neck, not daring to look down at the city below you. This was the first time you’d ever experienced something like this, no doubt, but Peter was getting a strange sense of deja vu.

“Y/N!” You didn’t move from your place in his neck, but he knew you could hear him. “I love you. I trust you.”

“You’re-” You didn’t trust yourself to speak. “Fucking.” You opened one eye just to be sure you weren’t dreaming. “Spiderman!”

“I’m something more important: your boyfriend.”

Leave it to Peter Parker to get all sappy with you in the middle of the sky.

You opened both your eyes now. “What about my soulmate?”

“What?” Startled, Peter lost controls of his webs for a moment, and knocked his rib on the side of a building. Luckily for you, you were lower to the ground.

‘Injury detected,’ Peter’s AI, Karen, stated.

“Yeah, I know, Karen.” Peter stated.

“Is it right there, babe?” Peter nodded, sat on the concrete, and pressed the spider in the middle of his suit. You watched as it became loose.

Your eyes flickered to the bandage on his ribcage. Maybe you had your answers as to how Peter always seemed to be hurt, but you needed your ultimate answer. And it was behind the bandage. “Right here, are you sure babe?”

You were on edge. You weren’t sure what you’d do if fate didn’t allow this to be true. For the sake of your heart.

So you peeled back the bandage.

And you found nothing there but a series of bruises. Your heart was crushed. “Nothing, Peter. There’s nothing there.” You had tears in your eyes, and before long you were ugly crying. This wasn’t a case of the novelty wearing off. This was a case of the novelty being broken down ‘til it can’t function no more.

“That’s a good thing baby, maybe I just need to go to a hospital.”

“No, I mean it Peter! There’s nothing there!” You pull up your heart to reveal a half full shirt printed on your body twenty one years ago, this exact heart only belonging to one other person in the world. But it wasn’t Peter. Even though he had just told you he loved you. “Fuck!” Your voice became incomprehensible, drowned out in tears and squeaks of sorrow. “I’m so sorry, but we can’t see each other any more. T-there is someone out there for me. You need to understand.”

And, unsure if your legs would take you all the way, you made your journey to Betty.

When you made it to Betty’s, she stood in the doorway with a rock on her finger. You couldn’t see that, though, through your tear blurred vision.

“Oh, poor baby.” She immediately embraced you, with Ned circling to your side to group hug you. You sniff into her shoulder. “He’s not-we’re not-”

“My darling.” She pauses. “I’m hoping you got the first month’s rent.” She laughed and you laughed before she pulled you back in her embrace and allowed you to feel what you needed to feel.

It’s often underestimated how miserable you need to be in order to cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t even know you did until you woke in your old room, your old band poster replaced by a calendar titled ‘Ned and Betty Forever’ and you laughed because Ned and Betty hadn’t even known each other longer than than six calendar months.

And you missed your windowsill on which you’d perch and overlook the breathtaking view of Brooklyn, and the even more awe-inspiring view of NYU students hurling after one too many, especially after yours and Betty’s parties.

“Do you guys even clean this room?” You called out. “You got a serious case of cobwebs.”

Peter lowered himself to meet your view. You were about to draw the blinds on him, only to realise Betty and Ned had gotten them removed whilst you were living with Peter.

“Hear me out.”

“I have no choice.” You chew on the flesh of your cheek. “You took a while to find me.”

“You left me for dead.”

It was hard to beat that one.

“Peter, if you have something to say, say it.”

“I’m sorry.” he’s swinging upside down, side to side and it slightly amuses you to think he’s getting dizzy if the last three months were at your expense. “I know how much this soulmate bullshit means to you, and I kept you longer than you would’ve liked. I’m also sorry ‘cause I knew I wasn’t your soulmate from the start.”

You gasp.

“But I wouldn’t in a billion years say that either you or I belong to someone else. MJ is my soulmate, yes. I love her with all my heart, but I believe destiny can change in the same world where people disappear for five years. MJ moved on. I’ve moved on. Who cares about a stupid tattoo? People go to parlours and give themselves their own all the time. People get them removed all the time. I’m getting my black dahlia erased.” Your face softens a little bit at that, you guard slightly down, but you refuse to wave a white flag without first making your point.

You rubbed your rib cage. “I care.”

“Y/N, you’re smarter than to deny what you feel. You’re an English major, studying Romeo and Juliet. You understand the world better than I do, and I’ve been to 600 different versions of it. You have a heart half full on your ribcage and I have half a flower on my foot. Tell me, would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?”

You know the answer’s the same one Betty gave Ned tonight when he got down on one knee, the same response you’d give Peter if he was to ask you the same question, what you’d tell anyone if they queried if you’d go through what you went with Peter all over again.

You pull down his mask, and look deep into both of Peter’s eyes, and still him from swinging. “Love someone for loving you for a change.”

And you don’t have to say it, Ned and Betty hiss it out for you not so subtly from the windowsill in the livingroom. “Yes!”

So when you and Peter kiss, it’s not about novelties or concepts, fate or tomorrow, it’s just the beautiful bliss that is love, in this moment.

The unmistakable indicator that you and Peter are meant to be.

Fin.

Credit for the gif goes to: @/tomhollandnet

Masterlist

Upcoming Works

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twomoonstwosuns · 4 years

Text

graduation.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: a swear word or two

word count: 3.3k

a/n: ok I have not proofread this, I wanted to get it up before I was out of town for the weekend! I hope you enjoy this, I can’t BELIEVE we’re almost at the end.

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“Why are we standing outside the field house?”

“I’m watching them unload the truck. They’re hauling a thousand plus chairs into the football field for graduation tomorrow.”

You followed Jessika’s line of sight, watching as staff members moved rows of folded up chairs on dollies from the moving truck and into the back entrances of the football field. Jessika sighed heavily and you looked at her.

“Reminiscing already? We haven’t even graduated yet.”

“I’m not reminiscing,” Jessika said, not taking her eyes off the movers as she sat down on the grass. “I’m wondering how anyone’s going to be able to understand anything that’s being said across an open football field.”

You snickered as you sat down next to her, watching as they finished unloading the first set of chairs.

“What are you even doing here?” Jessika asked.

“I was on my way back from dropping off a paper and I saw you.”

Jessika nodded, shifting so her legs were outstretched in front of her.

“You ready for this?”

“Not at all. You?”

She shook her head. “Glad I’m not the only one.”

You bumped her shoulder against hers, a sign of support.

Finals were done. Final papers turned in, exams taken, and anything you had checked out from the library as a resource was returned. Packing had already begun for Karé, who was beginning to move things into Snap’s apartment. The lease for your apartment was up in July, still a month and a half to figure things out. But while Karé knew what she was doing, you did not.

You didn’t know what would happen when you moved out. Would you go home and live with your mom…almost an hour away from Poe? Or would you move in with him despite only being together for less than four months?

You didn’t know and it was making you anxious.

“Hey!”

Karé and Snap walked towards you hand-in-hand.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Snap asked as they approached you, looking over towards the field where you were just looking.

“Just…thinking about tomorrow,” you answered. “How’d you know we were here?”

“I used your location to find you.” Karé said.

“Okay, creepy.”

“Well, it was better than calling you and saying ‘where are you, we need to tell you something’ because then you’d be worried.”

You glanced at Jessika, the both of you standing up.

“Wait, what is going on?”

Snap sighed. “You remember that job I interviewed for at three weeks ago? I got it.”

“Snap! Congratulations!”

“They want to send me to their London office.”

Yours and Jessika’s smiles faltered. Snap looked at Karé and squeezed her hand. “We talked about it and we’ll be moving to London at the end of the summer.”

“Y—You’re moving?” Jessika asked quietly. Karé nodded.

“At the end of the summer. Which means we have three and a half months that we’re still here.”

You swallowed thickly and looked at Snap, who gave you a soft smile.

“We’ll fly you guys out there anytime you want. They’re starting me at a high salary so I can afford it…you know, because I’m kind of a genius.”

You laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Yeah, for a guy who was late to pretty much every class, you did okay.”

Snap chuckled and shoved you back and you smiled sadly at him.

“So?” Karé asked hesitantly. “What do you think?”

Jessika put her arm around Karé’s and put her head on her shoulder. “I think I miss you guys already.”

Karé held her arm out to you and you stood next to her, holding your own arm out for Snap. He stepped in, the four of you hugging each other like you’d never see each other again.

And so it hit a little harder when President Organa congratulated all of you and had you move your tassels to the other side of your caps.

Black caps flew into the air as cheering filled the air. The bright sun shone down over a thousand new college graduates as they celebrated loudly and hugged their friends, their college careers now at an end. Friends and family members stood and applauded their loved ones, wiping tears away as they celebrated a major milestone.

You hugged the friends that sat around you, the excitement and happiness eclipsing any other emotion you were feeling. Music started playing, a signal for the graduates to head out. You followed the line of black robes, looking amongst the stands for your Poe and your family, making eye contact with the latter and waving at them. The minute you got outside the football field, you thought up a meeting place for your friends to meet you for pictures and you grabbed your phone and texted both your family and Poe.

I’ll meet you guys by the fountain in front of the field house for pictures!

“Y/N.”

It was the second time you’d heard his voice call your name at school in a matter of months, only this time it didn’t make you angry. When you turned and saw your father standing a few feet away from you with his hands in his pockets, you felt nervous.

“You made it,” you said, giving him a soft smile that he returned.

“I did. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” You took a step towards him, looking back at the direction in which you were just heading. “I’m, um…meeting everyone just over there if you want to follow me.”

“Actually, I was going to head out. I just wanted to see you before everyone else got here. We’re rebuilding our relationship and I want to take it slow, not put any pressure on you or make things more awkward.”

You nodded, the air around you becoming a little awkward.

“The ceremony was nice,” he said, the small talk of strangers nearly making you laugh at how ridiculous it seemed. “Kind of slow, though.”

“Oh god, so slow.”

He chuckled, the sound warm, familiar, and full of memories of easier times.

“So…how do you feel?”

You shrugged. “So far, if just feels like I’m going on summer break like I do every year. But I’m sure it’ll really hit me when I start working full time and when I don’t go back to school in the fall.”

“Do you have anything lined up yet?”

“Not yet, but I do have an interview on Thursday in Los Angeles.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.”

A warm smile crossed your face and he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope.

“Um…this is for you.”

You took a few steps towards him, taking the envelope out of his hand and opening it. Inside was a check, the amount big enough to make your jaw fall to the floor.

“I…I can’t take this…” You held the envelope and the check back out for him to take and he gently pushed it back towards you.

“Not everyone gets a job right out of college, let alone one they love and want to make a career out of. You can pay off your student loans and the rest of it will make sure you’re comfortable doing whatever until you do find that job…so you can start your life.”

Your lip quivered and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Dad…”

“I was going to give this to you on your wedding day, but with everything we went through this year, everything I’ve put you through…I felt this was the more appropriate time to give it to you.” You sniffled and he put his hand on your shoulder. “This isn’t a bribery to make you like me again and I know it can’t make up for the hell I put you through, but you deserve it. I am so, so proud of you and I love you very much. And I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

He was taken aback when you wrapped your arms around him but soon returned the hug, kissing the top of your head as a few tears trailed down your cheeks. You looked up at him and wiped a stray tear away.

“Thank you.”

He nodded and gave you a warm smile. Stepping back, you started to fan your face with your hand.

“Crap, I can’t remember if I put on waterproof mascara this morning.”

He chuckled, taking an opened pack of travel tissues out of his pocket.

“I shed a few tears watching you walk across that stage,” he admitted as he took one of the tissues and dabbed under your eyes. “You did indeed put on waterproof mascara.”

You smiled as you wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks. He put the tissues back in his pocket and looked at his watch.

“I should go, let you meet up with everyone. Coffee next week?”

“Friday morning ok?”

He nodded and you gave him another hug, kissing his cheek as you did.

“I’m so glad you made it. And thank you so much for the gift. it’s…more than I think I deserve.” He put his hand on your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

He kissed your forehead before leaving and you watched him until he was lost amongst the bustle of

students before continuing to the designated meeting place. Tallie and your mom were already there, looking around for you until they finally spotted you.

“There you are!”

You walked into your mom’s embrace, followed by Tallie, who’s seven month pregnant belly was making it a little harder to hug. When you pulled back, your mom put both your hands on your cheeks.

“My baby all grown up and done with college!” You giggled and rolled your eyes playfully.

“Where’s Chris?”

“I sent him ahead to start getting things set up at the park,” Tallie said. “So…where’s the boyfriend? I’m dying to meet him.”

“He’s probably saying congrats to other students or talking to other professors. He’s a popular teacher. I told him we’d meet up here and if he misses us then to just come to the park.”

“‘Popular’, huh?”

“Shut up, Tallie.”

“Girls…” Your mother’s warning tone made you shut your mouth. Looking at Tallie, you muttered an apology and fiddled with the envelope in your hand, forgetting for a moment what it was.

“Can you hang onto this for me?” You held the envelope out to your mom and she glanced at it as she took it. “It’s a gift. From dad.”

She smiled softly and placed it in her purse. “So he made it.”

You nodded.

“And? How do you feel?”

“I feel….okay.” You smiled softly at the memory of the interaction that had happened just moments ago. “It felt normal. I hugged him, which I know doesn’t seem like a huge thing…”

“It is though,” Tallie said. “You really struggled with this. It’s a good first step.…”

She trailed off in the middle of her sentence and you furrowed your brow.

“Tal?”

“Okay, don’t look now, but there is a very handsome man looking at you and walking towards us.”

You looked where she was looking behind you and smiled when you saw the one other person you were waiting for.

“Excuse me a sec…”

You ran to Poe as fast as your wedges would let you and you jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He kissed you sweetly, knowing your family’s eyes were on you. You didn’t know if people around you were seeing you kiss your professor and gossiping. And quite frankly, you didn’t care if they were. You were too happy. Poe pecked your lips several times before setting you down.

“Congratulations, baby. Cum laude, huh?” he asked, smiling widely and tugging on the extra cord around your shoulders. You nodded bashfully.

“Yeah…your girlfriend’s smart.”

He chuckled. “Well, I knew that already. Guess I just didn’t know how smart.”

You giggled as he flirted with you, the butterflies you felt in your belly the moment you met him still very alive. Tallie called your name and you glanced back at them, biting your lip nervously as they looked at you expectantly.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N,” Poe said reassuringly, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. “Unless you want to wait.”

“No, I don’t. I’m just nervous….but let’s do it.”

You grabbed his hand and he gave it a reassuring squeeze as you walked over to your mom and sister.

“Mom, Tallie, this is my boyfriend Poe.”

He smiled warmly and shook Tallie’s hand before your mom’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Good things, I hope.”

“Nothing but good things.”

“Oh bull, I’m sure she’s bitched about me one time or another.”

You shot Tallie a look like ‘what the hell?’ and Poe chuckled. “Well, that’s what sister’s do, right? I’m an only child so I’m just assuming.”

Tallie smirked at him. “No, you’re right. I’m just giving her a hard time.”

You ran a hand down your face, your cheeks tinting red in embarrassment. The sound of your name made you turn your head and you saw Jessika, Karé, and Snap walking towards you. Your mother immediately opened her arms for your friends and hugged them tightly.

“Can we do a few pictures here before we head over to the party?”

Your mother opened her mouth to answer but Tallie cut her off.

“I’ll take them. Mom, you talk to Poe.”

You glared at her as Jessika pulled you over towards the fountain. As Tallie took pictures, you kept glancing at Poe talking to your mother and looking for any signs of disapproval. They smiled politely at each other and even laughed a little bit and the more they did it, the more you relaxed through your pictures.

“So…” Tallie asked when she finished up taking pictures. “What are you and Poe doing now?”

You waved at your friends as they rejoined their families, promising to meet you at the park later for your party. “I don’t know.”

“Are you moving in with him?”

“Probably not. I don’t know.”

“What do you know?”

“I know I have a job interview in L.A. next week on the same day Poe has his job interview.”

“L.A. Really? Does Poe know?”

“Yes, he does.”

“What’re you going to do if you get it?”

“For god's sake Tallie, I don’t know. Enough with the interrogation.”

“I’m not interrogating, I’m just asking—“

“I literally just graduated, we don’t know what’s happening yet.”

“Girls…”

You sighed heavily and looked at your mom, who had interrupted her conversation with Poe to give you and Tallie a second warning tone. You weren’t interested in hearing a third one. Tallie’s phone pinged in her hand and she looked at it before looking at you and your mom.

“It’s Chris, he says the food is just arriving, we should get going.”

“I’m gonna stop by my apartment and get different shoes but I’ll meet you guys there.” You looked at Poe, who took his car keys out of his pocket. “We’ll meet you there.”

Your mom kissed your head and waved at Poe before heading towards the parking lot with Tallie in tow. She shouted a very loud “no quickies!” back at you and you flipped her off as she disappeared towards the parking lot.

“I’ll go grab my car…since you’re coming over to my apartment after the party anyway.”

You smiled and nodded, pecking Poe’s lips before heading in the direction of your apartment. It was a short distance away and you took the time to look around as you walked.

You thought about your first few days on campus, how nervous you were that you weren’t going to make any friends and make all the wrong decisions that would get you kicked out. You remembered the first party you went to, how you got so embarrassingly drunk so quickly that you were the laughing stock of your dorm hall for weeks. You remembered staying up until five in the morning with Karé and Jessika listening to Karé talk about her first date with Snap…and now they were moving to the other side of the world.

So much growing up had been done in four short years and you regretted making fun of Jessika for reminiscing the day before. It was exactly what you were doing now.

You got to your apartment and quickly found your sandals, changing out of them and grabbing your sunglasses. Poe was already outside your building when you got back down to the entrance.

“Beebs!” You exclaimed as you got to the car. You had seen the little dog’s head through the back window but thought maybe it was a reflection of something else.

“I figured he could run around while we enjoy the party, get him some fresh air and room to run around. He’s good off the leash.”

“Tallie is going to love that, she loves dogs.”

He smiled as he put the car in drive, but you put your hand on his.

“Wait…can we just sit a minute?” Poe nodded and put the car back in park as he looked over at you.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just…the last half hour was so rushed with meeting up with people and pictures and I just want to relax a minute.”

“Just not too long though, otherwise your sister will make jokes about us being late.”

You giggled as you leaned back against the seat, closing your eyes and sitting still for a minute. Poe put his hand on your knee, rubbing it so slowly you’d thought you’d fall asleep. When you finally re-opened your eyes, you gave him a soft smile and nodded.

“Okay. I’m good now.”

He gave your knee an affectionate pat and pulled away from the curb in the direction of the park.

“I want to ask you something.” Poe glanced at you and raised his eyebrows and you turn to look at him. “So, I’m graduated now…”

He chuckled. “Yes you are, that’s why we sat through that three hour long ceremony with the same speeches I’ve heard four years in a row now.”

“Oh ha ha,” you said with a smile. “Anyway, graduating means I won’t be going to school here or living on campus…I guess what I’m asking is what we’re going to do…”

“Well…I’ll make it really simple.” You swallowed hard and he stopped at a red light and looked at you. “I love you and whatever happens with you finding a job or moving back home, I still want to be with you. We’ll find a way to make it work, we’ve done it all year long.”

Sitting back in your seat, you gave him a small smile.

“Well, good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Poe shot you a humored smile, his eyes lighting up.

“When do you fly to L.A.?”

“I leave very early Thursday morning, interview at 10a.m, then lunch with Finn, and then I fly home. I should be home like 8ish…if you want me to come over.”

“I always want you to come over.”

“Then I’ll come over and you can tell me all about your interview and I’ll tell you about mine.”

He pulled up to the park where you could see people gathered just a few hundred feet away. The trees were full and bright green, a stark contrast to the last time you had been at the park. The abandoned ice rink was a few feet away, the middle of it brown and unappealing to the eye from the mud and puddles that took up most of the space.

“Think I can convince you to go ice skating again this winter?” Poe smirked as he eyed the empty ice rink.

“Only if you catch me when I fall.” You sputtered out a laugh as you internally cringed. “I’m sorry, that sounded so cliché, like ‘don’t chase me unless you’re ready to catch me’ nonsense. But seriously, do not let me fall on my ass.”

“You watch too many romantic comedies.” You nodded because he wasn’t wrong. The cheesy plots and pick up lines were comforting to you. “Besides, I thought I told you I liked the bruises on your ass.”

You shoved his shoulder and he laughed as he caught your arm and kissed you. You giggled against his lips.

“Shut up, lets go to the party.”

tag lit [open] - @ah-callie @darksideofclarke @gloomygoregirl @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @milleniawrites @afootnoteinyourhappiness @easterncryptid @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @umchrisevans @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @dameronsgalaxygal @mserynlarsen @yougottakeeponkeepinon @linibirdimagine @hannie2k @starrykitn @liadamerondjarin @april-14-blog @damnyoudameron @cloud-leader @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @xremember-me-notx @obiwanownsmyass @princessxkenobi @yourbucky084 @frietiemeloen @softly-sad @xxidontwikeitxx @roserrys @clairesmunchkin @justanotherblonde23 @angelicadameron @millllenniawrites

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x y/n #back to you series #poe dameron fanfiction #modern au #modern poe dameron #poe dameron fluff

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darkmulti · 4 years

Text

Forced Entry

Enemy roommate!Minho x female reader

Stray Kids

⚠️Warnings: breeding kink, scissoring, unprotected sex, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, blood (first time), overstimulation, readers first time, physical abuse, anal fingering, cum eating, blowjob

THIS CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

——————————————————————————

Well... this is fucking fantastic! Y/N scrunches her nose and groans in misery. She was stuck in the dryer for one fucking sock. To make it worse, the only person she could call for help was her empty headed roommate Minho. He was upstairs playing his video games with his online friends.

“MINHO! Can you please come here?” She yells for the man, and in no time, hears footsteps coming down the stairs. “Y/N?” He enters the laundry room, startled. “What’re you doing in the dryer?” He questioned.

“Oh.... you know, having a tea party. What do you think, Minho? I'M STUCK!”

“With that attitude, I’m not gonna help you.” He starts walking out till she says. “Wait Minho! Please help me, I’m sorry!” She quickly apologizes and explains herself. “I was reaching for my sock, then I got stuck! Can you please help me?”

“Only if you stop having a bitchy attitude towards me.” Minho folds his arms and leans against the door frame. “Fine don’t fucking help! I’ll just rot here for your amusement. Fucking weirdo. You can go now!”

“I’m a weirdo now? I’m not sure if it got through your tiny little brain, but it’s YOU who has the disadvantage in this situation.” Minho walks towards her and squats down. He touches her ass and playfully grabs her hips and pulls it back, landing it back on his clothed cock. “M-Minho w-what are y-you doing?”

“I’ve always wondered if you were a virgin. Let’s find out.” He pulls her booty shorts down and shoves two fingers into her. “P-please! What are you fucking doing?!” Minho spanks the girl’s ass. “Don’t fucking swear at me you little whore. Your pussy’s so tight, my fingers can’t breathe.” He starts scissoring her pussy, making her scream inside the dryer. “MINHO STOP IT!”

“Stop what? Stop scissoring your virgin pussy? Just wait until I tell everyone in school about this.” Minho chuckles and continues on.

“Minho! Please stop! Don’t do that, I swear I’ll be nice to you! I’m sorry!” She whines at the male and begs him not to tell anyone about this. “Minho please don’t!”

“Too late! I’ve already made my decision!” He quickly removes his sweat pants and takes his cock out. Y/N felt something cold slide on her pussy. “MINHO STOP STOP STOP!” She yells and kicks her feet back to try and defend herself. “No can do!” He slams his raw dick into her dry cunt, making her scream his name. “MINHO! STOP MINHO P-PLEASE!” The girl cries his name over and over, hoping he’d stop. But he doesn’t. Instead his hips move faster into her. “M-MINHO! AHH!” Minho leaves a sharp sting on her ass.

“My names not Minho you dumb cunt. I’m your master. I’m your owner. You will now do whatever I say, unless you want me to tell everyone at school.” He breaks her hymen causing her to bleed on his cock. “Minho-o! Um I-I m-mean m-mas-ster, ahh p-please slow!”

“Shut up whore!” He grunts and goes faster. The blood was the only lubrication. Y/N cries inside the dryer, regretting her decision. Minho grabs her hips and repeatedly pulls her back onto his cock. “Ma-aster! Pl..ease!” Her broken words matched her broken cries. Turning the sick fucker on even more. He does it a couple of more times until he yanks her out of the dryer.

“Finally!” She yells. She struggles against Minho, crying and begging him to leave her alone. She finally pushes him off and makes a run for it. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t even make it out of the laundry room. The man grabs her ankles and pulls her back, making her fall face first. “You shouldn’t run away from your master. You could get hurt!”

He pulls her back and rams his cock right back into her. She wails, losing hope at the point. “PLEASE MINHO LEAVE ME ALONE!” Minho ignores her request and wraps his arm around her neck instead. “Move! I FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU CUNT!” he thrashed her ass and thighs.

“MASTER PLEASE!” She screams, desperate to get his attention. He lets go of her neck, then slams her face down onto the floor. The man takes both of her hands and pins them behind her back, in an uncomfortable position.

“You take this cock and you enjoy every second of it!” The male grunts and speeds up his hips. His balls hit her pussy with every thrust, encouraging him to go faster. The little girl under him gave up. He was sitting on her, so she couldn’t move.

“You alive little girl? Did masters cock knock you out?” His words make her sob under him. “Crying doesn’t solve all problems princess. You had everything handed to you, your whole life. When will you ever learn to do something for yourself. Think about it. I’m making you independent with my actions!”

“You’re n-not doing anythi-ing for me-ee! You’re- re ra-raping me! That’s wh...what you're doing!” She starts bawling her eyes out, after stuttering about what she thinks. “I-I hate y-you!”

“Hate me all you want princess, you’re still gonna get this good old cock!” Minho makes her cum for the first time. She trembles under the man and screams for him to let her go. “I-ll pa...ayy you! Please stop!”

A hot sting starts on her slit, terrifying her because she never felt it before. “M-master! I’m scared! It h-hurts!” She tries to get up, but her weak arms couldn’t get out of Minho’s grip. Her body was aching under his.

“I’m gonna cum in you.” Minho’s grip on her arms tighten as he threatens to release in her. “NO NO PLEASE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOTHER! NO STOP PLEASE!” She screams at the top of her lungs at the man and hopelessly begs him.

“Please! I’ll be the best toy! I’ll do literally anything else Minho!” Her legs kick at him, wanting him to actually pay attention. “Stop acting like a brat! You are gonna be the mother of my kids and you’re gonna like it!” “Minho no!” “Yes!”

He shoots up his cum into her burning, sore pussy. He throws his head back and shoves two fingers into her asshole.

“You’re gonna carry my kids right?”

She doesn’t respond.

“Dirty fucking bitch!” He mutters under his breath. His tip enters into her kitten again and he slowly thrusts in. “Can you feel that kitten? Can you feel all the veins popping out of my cock?” He leans down and kisses her neck. His hand makes its way to her clit, but loses control once it arrives.

Instantly he rubs it violently while pounding into her ruthlessly. The burn in her push increases causing her to knock out of breath! “P-p..lease!”

Minho flips the girl on her back and gets back on his groove immediately. “You’re such a whore! No one wants to fuck you with that bitchy attitude of yours.” He spit on her clit and it glided down to add more lub.

“Your kitten’s thriving around my cock angel. No need to act like you don’t like it because your pussy is telling me something else. My cock is drenched in your blood and cum.” He spits on her face then licks her like a dog.

“Good fucking sluttt. So quiet for master.” Tears leave her eyes. How could she possibly speak?! She was in shock, she didn’t know how to react.

Minho kept abusing her clit and pussy till she finally cums again. She clenches as tight as she can around him and squirts on him. Minho cums into her again, then removes his dick.

He gets on his knees and brings his soaked cock to her face. “Suck!” Minho forces his cock down the girl's throat and forces her to taste the bitter cum. She coughs it up right away and backs away from Minho with a petrified look on her face. “If you're not gonna suck my cock, then my better lick all the cum off the dirty floor, like the dirty little slut you are.”

She gets on all fours and obeys him. Her tongue dips down to the floor and licks all the juices away. Minho played with her for a little bit and sometimes shoved his finger into her ass if she was being too slow.

Once she was done, he pulled her into his embrace and kissed her temple. “See how nice I could be if you just obey me?”

—————————————————————————

Edited 🔐

This was a request! Hope you liked it.

4:00 am

I’m going to bed.

Xoxo N

#minho #lee know #lee know smut #minho smut #stray kids smut #dark kpop #kpop #kpop smut

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trueromantic1 · 3 years

Text

The Myth of Me and You Is Fiction Turned To Truth

Summary: After the events of both seasons (SVU 22x16 and OC 1x08), Olivia and Elliot find themselves in the unique position of knowing where there love story will end up, but having no idea what exactly will transpire to get them there. One thing they do know? Their love can only grow deeper, and that they’re bound to enjoy the journey.

Author’s Note: For the purposes of this story, SVU 22x16 ended on May 28 (canon) and OC 1x08 ended on June 4 (not canon). This picks up on June 7.

Title comes from Great Ones by Maren Morris. It’s definitely an EO song.

Rating: M, possibly Explicit eventually

ff.net: here

AO3: here

Her phone beeped, drawing her distracted gaze away from the paperwork in front of her. Seeing the text message notification lighting up the screen, Olivia took off her glasses and put her pen down, picked up the phone, and leaned back in her chair with a sigh as she unlocked it.

Can I buy you dinner? There’s news.

She frowned, trying to tell his mood from those few words. Realizing it would be impossible, she glanced out at the nearly empty squad room before hitting the call button instead.

“You didn’t have to call. I know you’re at work still Liv.” Judging by the voices she could hear in the background, he was still at work as well. She knew they’d been dealing with the lawyers and IAB ever since Morales turned out to be a mole and decided suicide by cop was the best way out.

“It’s fine El. I needed a break from the paperwork for a minute anyway. The one thing they never prepare you for is just how much paperwork you do when you’re in charge of a squad. So, what’s going on?”

He chuckled, and she could hear the creak as he leaned back in his own chair. “That’s what dinner is supposed to be for Liv. If I tell you now, what would be the point of dinner?”

She smiled, recognizing his tone as the slightly flirty one she’d been hearing more of ever since what was supposed to be Fin’s wedding. Neither one of them was ready to jump into a relationship, but they’d come to a silent understanding that night by the water. “I don’t know Elliot. We’ve never needed a reason for dinner before. Why don’t you just tell me the news now, and then you can come over to my place later and we’ll get Chinese. Noah’s taking advantage of it being summer vacation and is at a sleepover so his friend’s mom can take them to an early show of a ballet she worked on costumes for. Apparently, they allow friends and family to come for free on Tuesdays, but it’s normally during the school day.”

“Oh, I bet he’s excited. Sleepover during the week and going to a professional ballet performance?”

“Yes, he’s thrilled. It’s all he talked about all weekend. Now quit stalling Elliot. What’s going on?”

“I never could get one by you, could I? Okay. Well, Angela Wheatley woke up earlier today, and is expected to make a full recovery. Bell and Washburn went over to the hospital once they cleared her for visitors. And we’re finally supposed to be done dealing with IAB and the lawyers over this. We still have to wait for IAB’s official report, but I got the feeling none of us were going to get in trouble for what happened. They told Bell they’d already spoken to you as well, so you should be done with them for now too. And then on a more personal note, you remember I told you I was looking at apartments in the city? At Fin’s not-wedding and then that I had some more appointments the rest of that weekend? Well, I found one, and I went down and signed the lease today during lunch.”

“El, I’m glad things are working out with the case, and that IAB will be out of all of our hair. It’s still bothering me what exactly Richard Wheatley was planning with that fake text sending me to the hospital. But I guess we won’t know unless he decided to tell us. But way to bury the lead! El, that’s great! I can’t believe you found a place in just a week. You didn’t just settle for something did you? You need a good place for you and Eli to make a home.” She knew he’d been anxious about getting out of the one bedroom short-term he’d rented after Kathy’s death, so she hoped he’d taken his time to find something he really liked.

“It’s nice, knowing you worry about us. And thanks. Don’t worry, it’s actually a great place. Rent’s a little higher than I’d planned, but I can make it work. It’s about halfway between here and the one six actually. About two blocks from the school Eli will be going to, assuming they’re back to in person by then. And it’s a three bedroom two and a half bath, which I figure will come in handy if any of the kids decide to visit and don’t want to drive home ever. And it’s near a park, in case anyone else wanted to visit. I take possession this Sunday, and Bell gave me Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off so I can get some stuff moved in. I’ve got some furniture scheduled for delivery on Monday.” The calm she’d been hearing more and more in the last few weeks shone through, which she knew was at least in part because he’d finally started talking to someone. But she thought a lot of it had to do with settling back into the city, since he’d confided that as much as they’d been happy in Italy, the energy had just never been exactly right to him.

“I’ll always worry El, you know that. I’m glad though. Now you and Eli have all summer to get settled in. Hopefully he’ll meet some of his future classmates, so he won’t fell so new when school starts back up. And you know, it just so happens, I might know someone who could come help you get things set up. You know, if you were interested.” She made sure to infuse her voice with a hint of suggestion, upping the playful flirting they’d been indulging in just a bit. She mentally patted herself on the back when she heard the hitch in his breath followed him clearing his throat. His next words, voice lowered and with a hint of a growl, proved he hadn’t lost a step either, as she felt herself flush with arousal and a corresponding dampness between her thighs that she was fast becoming reacquainted with that caused her to cross her legs and shift in her seat to try to alleviate the pressure.

“Is that so? Well, far be it from me to turn down someone willing to work up a sweat with me. Why don’t we discuss it more over dinner? I should be able to be to your place by 7, if that works for you.”

She checked the time, then the stack of papers she needed to finish, then glanced into the squad room. Seeing her people were now at their desks, folders open in front of them, she quickly calculated it’d be at least another hour before she could even think of leaving, especially if she planned to take three days off next week. “Make it 8?”

“8 it is. Want me to pick up our usual on my way over, or are we having it delivered?”

“Hmm, better pick it up. You know how busy they get. If you call it in when you leave, it’ll probably be just about ready by the time you get there.”

“Sound good. I’ll let you go so you can finish up all that paperwork. See you in a few hours Liv.”

“Alright. Bye El.” Hanging up, she pressed the phone against her chest a moment, savoring the warm feeling she always seemed to get when she talked to Elliot these days, before standing up and walking out into the squad room.

“Anything you guys haven’t finished by 7, you can leave until tomorrow. Short of a new case, you can all clock out then, since we’re currently between cases.” She turned to head back to her office and the stack of paperwork, but turned back around when Amanda spoke.

“Are you clocking out then too Cap? I know Noah’s at that sleepover. You shouldn’t stay late finishing paperwork anymore if we aren’t.” Her detective’s voice was concerned, and she realized just how much her stress and worry over the last three months must have shown, despite how hard she tried to hide it.

“Yes, he’s already called me to say goodnight, because apparently they will be too busy the rest of the night with sleepover stuff to worry about me. But don’t worry, I’m clocking out then too. Even if that pile of paperwork is only going to grow when you all turn in your paperwork.” She turned again, hoping to make it into her office before anyone thought too hard about her clocking out when she didn’t have to, but Fin’s teasing voice told her she was too late.

“You? Clock out early when you don’t have Noah waiting at home? What’s up? You got yourself a hot date or something?”

She was a Captain. Had been a police officer for over twenty years. She’d had to keep her cool when being questioned on the stand by lawyers all the time. But she knew, she knew, that she couldn’t hide the hitch in her step or the slight wince as he asked his question. Even as she turned back around, her face carefully blank, she knew he’d caught her. “Date? No, I don’t have a date. Who would I even have a date with?” Internally, she winced again as she heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Elliot Stabler tell her that asking that many questions just made her sound defensive, and therefore all the more suspicious. Registering the varying degrees of shock on the three’s faces, she smirked to herself for surprising them at least.

“Oh, I don’t know. A certain Detective, maybe? I saw you two together at the ceremony, off in your own little world by the water. Almost like old times, ‘cept the flirting was a little too obvious.”

Trying to control the embarrassed flush she could feel, she internally cursed. She’d hoped everyone had been too preoccupied to pay attention to her and Elliot, but knew that had probably been too much to hope for. She knew the rumor mill had picked right back up when he’d returned, and people realized they were talking again. “Alright, yes, I’m meeting Elliot for dinner. But it’s not a date. We’re just going to do some catching up over Chinese. We haven’t really had much time to just talk since he came back.” She ignored the pointed look he shot her, and appreciated that Amanda and Kat at least pretended not to be interested, as she finally made it back into her office. She heard his footsteps though, saw him shut the door behind him as she sat down behind her desk.

“You sure about this? I just don’t want you getting hurt. Don’t forget, I was here when he left.” She could see the worry clouding his face, and resigned to give him the truth. After all, he’d been there for it all.

“I’m sure. We’re…Taking things slow. We’ve talked, and while neither one of us is ready to just jump straight into a relationship, we’ve discussed it, and have agreed that’s where we’re heading. So we flirt some, and we spend time together, and we talk. We’re not defining it yet. I know it sounds like dating, and maybe in a way it is. But what’s important to us is rekindling our friendship, first and foremost. We’ve already talked about why he left, how he left. And I’ve told him not only what it did to me, but I’ve told him what he missed. He was…Devastated. It turns out the whole family was in France at the time, and by the time the kids came back, it had already become old news. He swore he would have come back had he known, and I believe him. I’d always wondered if he’d just stopped caring, but if you’d seen how he looked, you’d have had to believe him too. So yes, I’m sure about this. We’re going to take things slow for now, but we know where we’re going to end up, even if we aren’t sure when that will happen. Speaking of Elliot though, I’m going to take a few personal days next week to help him get moved into his new place. He gets the keys on Sunday, and his furniture comes Monday.”

He still looked a little worried, but she could tell he would take her at her word. “If you say so. I have to say, I’m surprised you guys already talked about that. But I’m glad. You deserve to be happy Liv, and I think he’ll make you happy. And don’t worry, I’ll cover next week for you. And I’ll let the others know you’ll be taking some time, and make sure they don’t ask you any questions.” He turned and left the office, leaving the door open behind him as he went back to his desk, stopping to talk to Amanda and Kat on his way.

Putting her glasses on and picking up her pen, she smiled to herself as she went back to her paperwork. She still had a lot to work through before it was time to head out, though she was hoping the anticipation would make the time pass faster. Afterall, it wasn’t every day she got to head home to a hot meal and an even hotter man, not that she’d tell him that. His ego was already inflated enough.

#olivia x elliot #law and order fanfiction #olivia x elliot fanfiction #law and order: svu #law and order: oc #fanfiction

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bidoldaccount · 3 years

Text

Grow As We Go - Five

Word Count: 1,626

ONE ; TWO ; THREE ; FOUR

Read on AO3

Read on Wattpad

Dean is the father.

After two home visits, a lot of dealings with the court, a matched paternity test, and a lot of sympathetic looks, Dean is biologically, and most important, legally, Jack's father.

Dean kisses Cas hard when everything is done, and they both kiss Jack's cheeks. Bobby gives Dean two weeks off of work, and Cas is only in school for another week before spring break, so they spend their time cooped up in the apartment, getting to know themselves as parents. Getting to know Jack, Jack getting to know them.

"You are killing this whole tummy time thing, dude, absolutely shredding it. Look at me, look at daddy," Dean smiled, tilting his head as Jack tried looking up. He smiled when he saw Dean, his knees wriggling like he was trying to go for Dean.

Dean is the best at playtime, they find. He does the best car noises, he does a killer Elmo impression, and he can make Jack smile by simply raising his eyebrows.

Castiel is better with stories and sleepy time. He'll lay Jack on his chest, skin to skin, and breathe as evenly as he can while reading a book. Jack goes instantly still when Cas starts to speak, like a switch goes off and he's boneless. Dean watches in amazement most nights, when Jack is fussy and hates everything and doesn't like skin to skin contact with Dean, he'll go quiet in Castiel's arms, just rest against his skin and breathe.

Two nights before Dean has to go back to work and Cas has to go back to teaching, they sit down in the living room while Jack sleeps in his crib. Dean places his head in his hands and he's crying but Castiel isn't sure why. Cas sits behind him for a while, just laying his head on Deans back, waiting paitently until he's ready to share.

"This is so unfair to you." That is not what Castiel would have expected, but he doesn't let his surprise show. "A baby shows up on my door step and suddenly you have to co-parent with a guy you've only been with for a year. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I probably made you feel pressured to stay with me, God, Cas," Dean pulls at his hair as he tried to soften his cries. Cas picks his head up and looks towards Dean with furrowed eyebrows.

"What? Dean, if I didn't want to be here then I wouldn't be. I don't feel pressured to stay, I'm staying because I love you," Castiel said.

"But what if I change. Parenthood changes people, doesn't it? What if it makes me someone that you don't like. Someone that you'd rather not be with? I'm not going to have any time between working and Jack, how am I supposed to be a good boyfriend while trying to be a father?" Dean hiccups, his chest tight.

"Hey, honey, look at me," Cas only pulls out that nickname on special occasions, so Dean glances up rather quick. Cas scoots over so that he's sitting at Deans side. He brings his hand up to wipe away the tear tracks on Dean's cheeks. "I love you, okay?" He whispered softly. "I love you as a boyfriend and I'll love you as Jack's father. You don't have to be alone to be a good father and you don't have to be childless to be a good boyfriend. We're going to figure it out, because that's what people do when they have kids. They change and they grow, but they don't have to do it alone," Cas shakes his head, wiping away more tears.

"I'm so scared, Cas. What if I mess something up? With you or with Jack? What if I screw him up?" Dean whispers.

"Screwing up is apart of the deal. A little trauma never hurt nobody," Dean laughs wetly. "Kidding, but seriously, parents make mistakes, it's apart of the process. For what it's worth," Cas leaned his chin on Dean's shoulder, his forehead at his temple. "You're doing a great job and I think you're an amazing father." Dean closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest.

"I'm so happy you're here, Cas," he said.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." Dean cries a little bit more, then Cas decided that their pity party is over. He grabs two sodas from the fridge, and sets out a piece of paper on the coffee table between them.

"Okay, I have to be at school by 7 and the latest I leave is 3:30, so if you drop Jack off at daycare before work, that puts him there from 10 to 4, that's 6 hours, with $15 an hour, we'll be looking at roughly $450 a week. It might be slightly lower because we have a fixed schedule and I get out early on Wednesday's, but that's a rough guess."

"I already have a headache," Dean grumbled.

"I've already calculated what we pay in rent, electricity and utilities, also factoring in Jack's necessities, a monthly food budget, daycare, our Netflix subscription, estimated gas expenses, our phone bills, etc. This is what we're looking at left over," Cas slides the paper to Dean and Deans eyes widen.

"Wait, are you serious? I thought it would be a lot less," he said.

"You make good money at the garage on top of what you earn from consulting, and I earn a good amount from teaching and translating," Castiel said.

"Wow, I guess I just never paid attention to it before," Dean said, still staring at the paper.

"We've never been hurting for money," Cas shrugged.

"Then why are we living in this shitty one bedroom?" Dean asked.

"Because then Jack would have been left on the doorstep of someone else's home while we were in a cozy two bedroom?" Cas shrugged.

"Ha. Ha," Dean rolled his eyes. " I'm serious though, do you think we should move? We can certainly afford at least a two bedroom," Dean said.

"I mean, I thought about it even before Jack but I thought it was too soon, now that he's here though, we could use the space," Cas said.

"Okay, next on the list, find forever home," Dean widened his eyes dramatically. Cas huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes.

"A forever home might have to wait a few years," he said.

Castiel was right, as he always is. Before Jack turns seven months, they sign a lease for a two bedroom apartment. Dean has an anxiety attack on their first night because he's afraid they won't wake up if Jack cries. It took Cas an hour to talk him into bed, and twenty minutes to make him stop trying to get out. Dean wakes up at 6am and he startles, flying out of bed to make sure Jack didn't hurt himself through the night. When he busts into his room, Jack is still soundly sleeping and Castiel shakes his head with a fond smile.

When Jack turns three, Dean stumbles upon a cheap house in a good neighborhood. It was nearly run into the ground because of foundation issues, no one wanted it, and the couple was desperate to sell. It took very little convincing from Cas to purchase. Dean tore the entire house down and started from scratch. It was almost nine months before Dean allowed Cas and Jack inside of the shell of their home, pointing out rooms and different features. Cas had cried the first time he saw it.

It was shortly after Jack turned four that they officially moved into the house. Two stories, painted a soft yellow that was easy on the eyes, blue shutters, a white picket fence. A very spacious garage. Cas pointed out everything that Jack helped pick out, like the granite countertops, and the wallpaper in the hallway.

"Do you like it?" Dean asked nervously once Jack was sound asleep in his new bedroom, the walls a soft blue with a space theme. He wrapped his arms around Cas' waist as they stood in the foyer, the living room the right, the stairs to the left, kitchen directly ahead. Cas leaned his head back with a furrow in his brow.

"No, I hate it, I want a home that my amazing boyfriend didn't build," he rolled his eyes as he turned in Deans arms. "Are you kidding?" He wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders and kissed him softly. "I love it. You did such an amazing job, I can't believe you built this," he whispered.

"You and Jack deserved a home," Dean shrugged as he stepped away, hands in his pockets. "You deserve the world for being so incredibly amazing and supportive all these years," Castiel gasped as Dean lowered himself onto one knee, pulling a small velvet box from his pajama pants. "As I was building this house for you and Jack, I thought a lot about our life together. I thought about when Jack would get so calm by just laying on your chest, and the way you cried on his first day of school, and our first date when you spent twenty minutes talking about bees. I can't imagine my life without you, without you being right there next to me, so, Castiel Novak, will you marry me?" Castiel breathed out shakily as he nodded.

"Yes," he pulled Dean back up to his feet, grabbed the front of his shirt, and smashed their lips together. Dean couldn't stop smiling as he slipped the ring onto Castiel's finger.

"I love you so much," Dean said with a bright smile.

"I love you too," Cas sniffed as he pulled Dean into him, hugging him tightly.

#Destiel #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #baby jack kline #established relationship #established destiel #dean winchester x castiel #castiel winchester #happy ending #fluff

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prorevenge · 4 years

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Veteran Mechanic taking advantage of active duty military and retirees messes with the wrong person and his buddy goes down with him.

When this started all I was trying to do was get out of paying for something I didn’t need and never asked for. By the end I was going for blood as someone else enacted their revenge.

This happened back in 2002 on Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego. I was stationed down the way at 32nd Street Naval Base for my MIlitary Occupation Specialty school and was a new Lance Corporal (E3) at the time. I had a 1994 Dodge Spirit with 180K miles or so and I’d just driven it across the country. I bought it a few days before leaving KS at an Auto auction. A couple weeks into my school it died, at the gate, next to the sentry.

After an initial freak out that I was a suicide bomber and the subsequent search of me and my car everyone calms down and they help push my car to the top of the hill so I can coast down the other side and into the auto repair shop parking lot which thankfully went without incident.

Before I go in I call my dad and then his cousin. My dad knows a ton about cars and his cousin is a mechanic with his own very successful shop (like a dozen work bays and they handle everything from regular cars to farm equipment to semis). I know a fair bit about cars on my own but he knows everything. Between us we decide it looks like the distributor or the distributor cap is the issue. My dad’s cousin says it’s a common issue on Spirits from this time and recommends I get it fixed here by a real mechanic. Now at this point it’s important to note his shop did a very thorough once over for me after I bought the car and gave me good notes on the condition of the car in writing, from his shop.

I go in and talk to the guy at the counter. They’re not too busy and pull it into a bay and run their diagnostics, same thing. Distributor cap. Cool. I get the services agreement saying they’ll replace it and call me if they find anything else. I hear nothing until the end of the week when they call and say my car is ready. When I get there they present me with a bill for like $1400!

Wow. Just wow. Now my heart has stopped beating and I say something about that being a lot for a distributor cap. The guy who owns the place (I find out he’s a veteran from way back) breaks off talking to a Master Sergeant (MSgt - E8) and comes over to talk to me. He starts telling me about how it was much worse than they originally thought and they ended up having to replace my radiator (plus hoses) and my timing belt and a head gasket. I’m still in shock and say something like the head gasket was fine two weeks ago and so was the radiator and the timing. He puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about bc they’ve been waiting to fail for a long time now.

I’m confused now and say that’s not possible. I bought it two weeks ago and... He cuts me off and says I was sold a complete lemon and I should have had it checked. He says he felt bad for me and this should have cost over $2000 but he cut me a deal and he can work with me in an installment plan but will have to charge me interest. Now I’m suspicious and starting to get pissed and I say the only repair I authorized was a distributor cap and they should have called me before doing anything else and I start to explain I’ve got paperwork from the inspection I had done that said those other things were fine. I’m going to get it from the car and the MSgt grabs me by the arm and starts telling me I’m being ungrateful and disrespectful to a respected mechanic and business owner and asks me if I’m implying he’s cheating me. Every time I try to open my mouth he cuts me off and keeps telling the owner not to worry, he’ll make sure this young pup pays what is owed. He’s threatening to take me over to admin and have my pay docked.

Now I’m angry and a bit scared. Another Marine intervenes and says that’s a little extreme and to let me say my piece. I get permission to get into my car to get my maintenance history which includes an oil change, the inspection documentation and the original quote for the distributor cap work. At this point there’s a crowd of customers and some other passers by. The owner of the garage and MSgt are in full theater mode talking about how I’m not appreciating the huge help they’ve been and I’m trying to get out of paying for work I asked for. Now I’m mostly just pissed.

I come in and the MSgt cuts me off and tells me to be careful how I talk to his friend. I ask the MSgt if he’s going to let me speak or keep interrupting me while I’m in a private conversation with a business owner. I ask him if he owns part of the shop (no) and ask why he’s so interested in not hearing a Marine out. Then I get out the original statement of services and say the distributor cap is all I agreed to. I also ask why he didn’t call me and he says he called my barracks several times and left messages including ones telling me the car was undrivable until the repairs were made so he went with the lowest cost option to get me back on the road. Oops. I say, that’s interesting, the only number I gave you is my cell phone and I don’t have any messages or even attempted calls until the previous evening when they left a message that my car was ready. I show everyone my call history (including a Captain who’s very interested and standing quietly by). The MSgt has backed off and the Capt is quietly talking to him off on the side.

Now the owner is backpedaling a bit and saying he was thinking of a different customer but he’s already made the replacement and has to charge me for the work. Then I pull out the stuff from the inspection and it has some fun little statements in it. Statements like: Timing belt good, timing good. Check again in 30K miles. Radiator, appears to be recently replaced. All hoses new in last 6 months. Nothing on the head gasket but there’s a statement that there are no leaks in that area which was why he said he had to replace it. I say he can put all of my original stuff back on because all I’m paying for is the distributor cap work. He gets red faced and starts demanding I pay for the labor and he can’t put things back on because they were too badly damaged in the removal process.

Now some old retired guy chimes in from the back and asks “what kind of mechanic damages things when they take them apart?” The owner drags out my radiator and there is a giant hole in one side that looks like it was stabbed with a crowbar. Now a couple other people (locals) are questioning past situations where he ‘helped them’ out with repairs they didn’t know they needed. The MSgt tried to walk off and a Colonel and a Sergeant Major in civilian attire post him to the side for a later conversation. The Capt pulls me aside and asks to see the info I have and to see my phone again and steps behind the counter to photocopy it all. He has a truly evil grin. Turns out he’s a prior Enlisted former infantry Marine who became an Officer after going back to college. He has suspected this shop of being crooked for a while but never had enough proof. He’s on the commanding general’s staff and they were looking into complaints from permanent personnel and retirees in the area. The owner is sweating bullets now. I only pay for the distributor cap and get a statement that says my balance is zero so he doesn’t try anything in the future.

The Capt takes me to dinner and gets my info and basically a statement from me of what happened. After dinner he takes me back to his office while he types up something for me to sign about the whole incident and I call Verizon to get them to fax over the incoming / outgoing calls from my number from the past week. He explains that the MSgt has been steering a lot of customers to his buddy and they suspect he’s getting kick backs. The Capt and several others have been taking their cars there for months to try to catch the guy doing what he did to me. The MSgt sealed his fate when he started threatening to take my pay. They suspected he was getting kickbacks or favors in exchange for hooking up his buddy. Now he has the justification he needs to formally look into the MSgt. The Capt was thrilled and bought me a 6 pack for using up so much of my Friday evening.

I wasn’t around long enough to see the outcome but when I left there were auditors from base services going through the business with a fine tooth comb and it was a legal matter. Once something like that gets started it probably means a business and the owners will get kicked out of the on base location (the base owns the building and the owner leases it). He and his business would also end up blacklisted as a place known for taking advantage of service members. Most commands give this out to people who check in so no one patronizes them.

It still boggles my mind that one veteran would try to use that status to take advantage of others. Or that a senior Marine would do that to other Marines. I know there are people out there like that but having the shared common background we do, I expect better.

(source) story by (/u/earthrogue)

#prorevenge #by /u/earthrogue #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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mocnliights · 3 years

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breaks my own gif icon format for intros bc his face deserves to be seen . luca came to me in a stroke of mild inspiration ( pinterest ) so i will be figuring him out as i go . i’ve got a barebones background in the works under the cut but rly all u need to know is he’s generally a lazy pos , definition of a f*ckboi , and is ur resident beach bum . now plot with me <3

trigger warnings : abandonment , death , i think that’s it but please let me know if i missed anything !!

* taylor zakhar perez, cis man + he/him | you know luca espinoza, right? they’re twenty-seven, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, nine years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to let it happen by tame impala like, a million times this year, which makes sense, ‘cause they’ve got that whole lingering smell of the salty ocean year round, doing the bare minimum, and a disregard for bad decisions’ consequences thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 1st, so they’re a cancer, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

THE BASICS .

full name : luca espinoza . probably has a middle name and a second surname on his birth certificate , but doesn’t know it or care to . birthday & birth place : july 1, 1993 & san diego , california sexual orientation : bisexual/romantic hometown : san diego , california current residence : delphinus heights occupation : picks up odd jobs here and there , mainly works at the surf shop on the beach education : high school diploma positive personality traits : daring , resourceful , self-reliant & self-sufficient , witty , blithe , fun-loving negative personality traits : hedonistic , insensitive , irritable , pessimistic , irresponsible , destructive , impulsive

THE SUMMARY .

luca spent the first 15 years of his life in a mix of foster homes after being left on the steps of a church by his birth mom ( or so he’s told , he doesn’t really know ) . it’s how he learned to not get attached to people or material things from a young age

his maternal grandmother showed up one day , had some longwinded tragic story about why his mom had given him up in the first place and what had taken so long for another blood relative to find him , but he barely listened because even though these were answers to questions he’d had his whole life , he just no longer cared

wellllllll bad luck to his grandmother for taking in a moody , good for nothing , rebellious teenager bc even though he finally had some sort of promised roof over his head , he never believed it and he continued acting out , skipping school to go to the beach , smoking behind bleachers w friends if he did go to school

despite her best attempts , there was no wrangling him in . little did she know that a lot of times when he cut school , he was taking odd jobs wherever he could where they’d pay him in cash to save up as much money as possible bc as soon as he turned 18 , he was leaving . and that’s exactly what he did at the crack of dawn that july 1st , packing up his beat up car and hitting the road . his only requirements were that it was as far away from san diego as possible ( so , east coast ) and that he could still surf ( and he picked irving )

he lived out of his car for a good 4-6 months when he first got to irving , having saved up enough to get across the country and maybe a couple nights at the motel but not enough to actually pay rent and secure a lease on the most affordable apartment

buuuuuuut ... he sort of won his own version of the lottery when he got a call from a random number one day , picked up out of curiosity . it was his grandmother’s lawyer informing him that she had passed away and she’d left all of her assets to him . it hit him harder than he expected ?? just bc he acted like he didn’t give a shit about family didn’t mean there was some comfort knowing there was someone out there he was related to , who apparently cared about him

anyway , turns out she had a lot more $$$$ than the humble lifestyle she’d led thanks to smart savings and investments , but luca didn’t really care for it . he just needed enough to pay for a room , surf , and do his thing ......... which is generally still acting like a rebellious shitty teen into his late twenties without any attachment to things or people

may add more later but that’s all for now , folks !

wcs !

first friend in irving ? maybe met at the motel when he first arrived , maybe they bum on the beach together , and they’ve been nonjudgmental and pals ever since

someone he makes bad decisions with kdjsflja pure bad influences on each other , should not be friends for everyone else’s sake , but what can you do

someone he’s a bad influence on bc he’s always somehow dragging them into his bad habits

former/current hookups . he’s probably broken some hearts of people who’ve gotten attached while he was just in it for the sex

an actual ex ?? maybe ?? someone he actually fell for shocker and it ended so badly that it only affirmed his original belief in not getting attached to people and that love isn’t real so dramatic

someone who thinks he’s worthless bc they only ever see him at the beach DKSJLAKJDL

someone who believes in him and that he could be something more but he .. could not care less .. but A for effort

i’m sure there’s more but my brain said enough

#irvingintro #abandonment tw #death tw #the intro isn't great but i actually added wcs so you win some you lose some #𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐳𝐚 ☼ ━━ about .

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treatian · 3 years

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The Chronicles of the Dark One: Magical Loopholes

Chapter 39: Villain Hunting

Dove was working for him again. Not happily, but he'd take what he could get. The man had appeared in his shop the morning after he left the message with a grimace on his face that said he'd rather be anywhere else in the world but a stance that suggested he was ready to work. That was convenient for him because he had a job for him. He'd kept Smee overnight, but now he'd overstayed his welcome. He had a plan for letting him go back out into Storybrooke, one that would ensure that if Hook was here and he knew where he was, then he'd find him. But that plan had hinged on the dove before him standing there. How lucky for him that his accomplice knew how to use his brain.

"It's good to have you back in my services, Mr. Dove."

"It's not like I have a choice, as you so kindly reminded me."

That was true. During the Curse this had been Dove's only job, and he, and his family, had profited greatly from it. He could have found another job now that the Curse was broken, but one that would pay as handsomely as he did and come with a rent-free lifestyle for himself and his parents? Doubtful. Very doubtful. So here he was, taking instructions once more. In five minutes, he informed his employee, a man in a red hat would come around the corner of his shop. Dove's job was to follow him for a couple of days. He wanted to know where he was going, who he was seen with, and he especially wanted to know if he was ever seen in the company of a man with a hook for a hand.

Dove agreed for his usual reimbursement and when the man stepped outside he saw him take a step, then fall into the air as a white dove soared away where the man had once been. He'd smirked. Dove wasn't pleased to be back with him, but he imagined that being able to do that again, to fly off in a different body and perch on a roof, certainly worked in his favor.

He released Smee a few moments later. The man was alert but obviously exhausted from a night in his basement. He smelled of sweat and piss and fear as he untied his bonds. "Now you listen to me," he growled menacingly as he worked. "I'm gonna let you go now, and you are going to go tell any of your old friends and crew mates that the girl you tried to take is off-limits. She's under protection of the Dark One. She's not to be touched, harmed, or even gawked at from across the street. Stay clear of her, stay clear of her library. Do we understand each other, Mr. Smee?"

The man had nodded vigorously and the second he motioned toward the open door he was up and out. He ran for his freedom like it might disappear if he wasn't fast enough, but he had no idea that he wasn't free. Not truly. Dove was watching. He was certain of this because twenty minutes after he'd freed him, he received a call from him.

"You want me to follow Barrie Kensington?"

Barrie Kensington…was that who he was here? The name didn't ring a bell, no property leases came to mind, no history. But Dove had said the name so easily…

"You know him?"

"Who doesn't?"

"How do you know him?" he questioned. "What does he do?"

"He gets things," Dove answered as if it was obvious and he should have known, like he was surprised he needed to tell him. "Guy's a mouse, but he's resourceful. Half the time you've wanted me to find you something, it's because I've gotten it from him."

William Smee, procurer of hard to find objects, was Barrie Kensington, also a procurer of hard to find objects. Sometimes he thought the Curse outdid itself.

"Have you ever seen him in the company of a man, tall, one hand?"

"Can't say I have, but he works with damn near everyone, and I've never followed him before."

"Your friend Scarlet, he's known for some of the same things, can you see if he has knowledge of him and a friend he might have with a hook?"

"No can do," he answered. "Scarlet has been missing since the Curse broke, no one has seen him and he's not answering his phone."

Shit. He'd never particularly cared for Scarlet. He had kept him on his payroll during the Mary Margaret situation and he knew that the boy was good for giving information to Dove when he needed him to. He hadn't a clue where he'd disappeared to and he didn't really care. But he did lament not having the information he needed.

"Where is Smee now?"

"Home," the Dove answered. "He went right to his apartment." No surprise there, after a night in his basement he'd probably need to shower, sleep, and eat before he went about his way. He could allow him that concession.

"Stay on him, Mr. Dove. If he meets a man with one hand call me immediately and if he goes anywhere near the library…don't let him get in the front door."

"Fine," he agreed in an unfriendly tone.

"Hm…no 'got it, boss'? Even for old times?"

There was nothing but silence on the other end. It only made him smirk.

"I see you've learned to fly again," he mentioned idly, as if he was trying to initiate chit chat, a habit he never engaged in without reason.

Dove promptly hung up the phone without answering. He chuckled as he put his phone back in his pocket and returned to his own work. He had to admit, he enjoyed people who knew their place in their relationship but refused to accept it, refused to be frightened or scared of him. Those who were weaker standing up to him left him amused and intrigued. Belle had been one of those people; Jefferson and Ruby were like that too. Now it seemed that Dove would be joining their ranks. He was rather looking forward to the entertainment that would bring. He needed entertainment, considering the dull hole not having Belle at home had left in his life.

He hadn't been back there, not to stay, not really. That first night he couldn't bring himself to go when she was in the library, alone and vulnerable. So, he'd stayed in the shop that night and over the course of the next few days he'd begun to make a habit it out of it. During the day he worked in the shop like he normally would, taking calls and text messages from Dove who reported that Smee seemed to be following instructions. The docks, the bowling alley, The Rabbit Hole Bar, Granny's, even the Middle School…Smee paid visits to all of them after he was released, it was the same story each place.

"I don't know what to tell you," Dove informed him on one call. "He goes in, he talks to someone, he leaves, he goes to the next place and does it all over again. So far, no one has had a hook for a hand."

Dove was confused; he saw it with clarity. Smee was simply doing what he'd asked him to do, going to his old crew mates and friends, delivering the warning he'd told them to. He was aware that doing that could potentially put Belle at risk, but he also knew that no one without a substantial amount of power would dare to attack a woman under his protection. With the protection spell he'd placed on the library, he'd know if anyone like that tried anything. Fortunately, few people came and went at the library, and he could feel that no one with power greater than Ruby dared to enter. Belle was safe, but that didn't stop him from spending every night in his pawnshop. Just in case.

It wasn't entirely bad. During the day he could do his usual work and during the nighttime, that was when his real work began. At night his work room transformed into his own little workshop, just like he had in the basement, only he found himself forcing himself to take a break from his spell for the town line. There were other things he needed to do.

Smee's attempt, futile as it had been, had scared him. There were so many, many dangers in this world, so many enemies, he never wanted to be caught off guard again. For the first night, he tried to find as many as he could. He didn't have a crystal ball, but he could pour water into a cauldron, add the proper ingredients, and ask it for images. The first he pulled up, his test image, was of Belle. She was in the library, sitting in a chair with a book in her lap, clearly asleep. She was safe. But only if he could keep her that way.

He tried searching for Hook next, but nothing came into the cauldron. He tried to summon an image of Zelena only to experience the same results…nothing. Smee had said that Hook wasn't here, that he wasn't in this world. That would make sense. The cauldron could only summon images of this world. To test that theory, he requested an image of August Booth. This time the cauldron gave him an image. There he was. A man made of wood, sleeping in a bed located in some kind of cramped and messy room. But where that messy room was…he couldn't tell. That was the problem with the cauldron, it could summon images, but it couldn't tell him the location of individuals, he would only know where they were if he recognized the place and unfortunately, he hadn't a clue where that room August was in was, and his magic kept taking him into the forest.

But there was another way, an old-fashioned method used for location…scrying. It was old and it involved maps. For that reason alone, it was complicated. The magic could work, but if it didn't have the right map, then it would be useless. And scrying could be done with crystals and head magic…but it was stronger with blood and heart magic. Still, he had to try. For Belle's sake.

He retrieved a map of Storybrooke, it was small, and not nearly as detailed as he wanted it to be, but he tried. With a crystal and by concentrating on August Booth he sat down and watched the crystal hover and sway and swing…and then circled a section of Storybrooke forest. The place he'd already checked. That was convincing but also devastating at the same time. Everything he'd seen, every sign, every piece of magic indicated that Booth was there! But when he'd gone, he couldn't find him. It was magic. No doubts, no assumptions, he was certain. He was using magic to hide. So, until he figured out a way around that…

He didn't stop searching at Booth. He continued his work, knowing that while Booth was important, he also needed to know the location of his enemies. Via scrying he found Smee sleeping in his apartment and Belle in the library and Regina in her home. There was nothing when he focused on Cora. That made sense. Regina wouldn't have wanted her here and claimed to have killed her in the Enchanted Forest. He still doubted that, but for now, he'd accept it, given she was no threat. Zelena and Hook also yielded no results, but now that he was thinking things through, he was curious about something else. Well…two someones was probably a more accurate description.

Cruella and Ursula. He'd watched as the Apprentice had opened a portal for Maleficent's child that they'd fallen through. He suspected it was to this world. He hauled out his globe and made an attempt but had no results when searching for the child. He expected that. There was no bond between them, nothing but a single image of a hand poking through an egg for him to recall and use. Scrying was already very weak magic; it needed a strong memory to work. Besides, he suspected the child was outside of Storybrooke, there was no telling what the magic would do with those outside. So, he tested it on someone he did have a better connection to first. He closed his eyes, focused on Ursula, the sea witch, the woman who had once taken Belle, and let the crystal roam over the globe. He spun it gently when he felt the need to, let it move over, up and down, until he felt a tug on the string of gold holding it. It had landed.

New York City.

He scrambled to the place he kept his maps and guidebooks, the places that he'd imagined going to search for Bae. One was for New York City. He opened the map, spread it wide on his table, and let the crystal do the work that it couldn't do on a globe. This time he felt the tug quickly. He looked down at the tourist map, and suddenly there wasn't a doubt in his mind the magic was working. It tracked the sea witch to an aquarium in New York City. Like always did call out to like. The former sea dweller would have gone somewhere she felt comfortable, working side by side with her fishy friends made sense. But then…where was her other friend.

He couldn't locate Cruella in the city, a surprise since he could easily see her fitting in there running a gallery or jewelry store. But no, he used the globe again and instead found her in upstate New York, of all places. Unfortunately, he couldn't pinpoint her. He didn't have any large maps of upstate New York to point him in any specific direction. However, he was satisfied that they both lived far enough away from Belle that he didn't care.

But doing all this…it did give him another idea.

He took a deep breath, moved the globe closer to him, closed his eyes and focused one more time…on Baelfire. For a brief moment, when he felt the crystal pull, he dared to hope, dared to dream that he didn't need August or Emma, that he might find his boy here and now all on his own. But then he opened his eyes. The crystal hadn't settled. It was hovering, swinging in a circle just as it had with Booth out in the woods only this time it circled parts of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and even a little bit of Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

He took a deep breath and clenched the crystal in his hand until it hurt. He hunched himself over his table and swallowed hard, anything to keep himself from overturning the table in anger. He held on to what was good. He had been right. Baelfire was close. Somewhere in the Northeast, south of here. It was still half a dozen cities to explore, but now he'd learned roughly where he was. It was better than searching the entire United States. And he'd learned something else too. The crystal had circled for Bae just as it had with Booth. It had circled out there for Bae when it hadn't for Cruella or Ursula. Not just one other thing. Two other things.

First, if it had the same reaction as it had for August and he'd concluded that it was because August had magical protection then logically, he had to make the same conclusion for Bae. He, too, was using magical protection.

Second, if he was using magical protection out there, then that meant August had been right. There was magic of some sort, beyond Storybrooke, unstudied magic…

The implications of that were terrifying.

It meant there was a possibility that he was going to need more than just one spell to get him over the barrier.

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scandeniall · 4 years

Text

good & the bad [11/12]

| song 11: the good & the bad | good & bad masterlist | prev | next

pairing: osamu x reader

summary/warnings: Hang on to the moments when you're flying, he moments when you're crying. Hang on to the ones that hold you down./ straight up manga spoilers lol

wc: 1868

“Samu,” his name comes out barely above a whisper as you enter the dimly lit room shutting the door behind you. “Atsumu let me in. He said you haven’t come out at all today.” You softly say as you make your way deeper into his room, until you're standing at the space next to his desk where he’d been hunched over for the majority of the day. He still hadn’t said anything as you eye the content covering the surface. Lots of numbers. You notice the way he relaxes just the tiniest bit as you rest your hand on his shoulder. “You ok?”

“No.” The shortness of the answer doesn’t come as a surprise given, what’d he’d most likely been working on. You only nod, noticing the way he slides his chair back enough so that you could seat yourself sideways on his lap. “More shop plans?” Your question is only met with a nod.

You remember when you met the twin. It had been during his second and your first year of university. The two of you crossing paths by mere chance. Essentially being in the right place at the right time. You met at an obscure cafe that you both tended to frequent, just never at the same time. It had been a place that had such few customers, that everyone wondered how it was still in business. However, it’d had the best damn yakitori you’d ever had. It had actually been one of the waitresses who introduced you two. Saying you were the only two people who ever ordered it from there, and that if it wasn’t for you two they’d considered taking it off the menu.

From there the friendship and eventual relationship blossomed. You found out he was in school for culinary arts, with a minor in business in hopes of opening his own food shop, eventually settling on Onigiri. That had been two years ago, and as a recent graduate he was ready to get it up and running. A process that proved to be a difficult one, causing his current stress.

“I’ve been running these numbers and looking for suppliers all day. Kita said he can help with rice, but there's still fillings, and seaweed, and packaging. And now theres a problem with my location and actually pay for workers if I’m struggling now—fuck. Maybe I should have gone pro with Tsumu.”

He let out more than he’d initially intended and he blames the feel of your fingers massaging his scalp for the word vomit. It feels much better than the tugging he’d done at his scalp as he eyed the dizzying numbers for the millionth time. “Hey. Don’t say that. You know you wouldn’t have been happy doing that.” His gaze shifts from you to the papers covering his desk as you continue talking. “Besides, who the hell said opening a business was easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it-”

“Well it's obviously not,” your hand goes to clamp around his mouth so he wouldn’t interrupt again. “As I was saying. It's not easy, but you’re doing it. And in 80 years when you end up as the happier twin it’ll all be worth it. I know it’s stressful now, but that’s where your superhero volleyball strength should kick in. The same mental strength I’m sure it takes to get through games, physically pushing yourself past your limits is what you need now. It’s The mental strength to see this through Samu. You’ve got it, so just hang in there through the good and the bad.” The quietest of sniffles causes you to let out a laugh. “Wait are you actually crying right now at my stupid speech.”

Your boyfriend’s hands go to try and fail to push you off as you continue laughing. “It’s the hunger. I haven't eaten in hours,” Osamu counters as you roll your eyes. “Yeah, Alright. Come on let’s go get something. My treat tonight.” Hands tighten around your waist as you lean down to press your lips to meet his. The kiss is soft, lips ghosting against one another as you fight yourself smiling. Before you could push it further he pulls away a lazy smile on his face. “You said you were gonna treat me to dinner.”

Your annoyed groan does nothing but amuse him, but as you go to get up you find that his hands don’t loosen. “For someone who wants food you don’t seem to be making the effort to let me go.” Osamu only shrugs. “Thank you. For having my back.”

“Just remember, hang through the good and the bad. And stop being afraid to ask for my help. I’m here, always.”

——

‘I’m outside,’ your eyes gloss over the text before you start packing your backpack. Bidding your friends goodbye you quickly make your way down the steps of your school’s library before slipping into Osamu’s passenger seat. You eagerly accept the quick kiss he offers in greeting.

“So you think this is the place?”

“Hopefully. I’m ready to sign a lease already.” You nod humming along to the radio. Right now he was going to take a last look at the potential shop location before hopefully signing for it. You’d offered to go with him since you didn’t have any late classes for the day. Ever since your conversation a month ago he’d been just the slightest bit more accepting of help from others.

“Oh, my friend gave me some of the logo drafts today. They look pretty good, you might have a winner there.” His hand goes to gently squeeze the skin of your thigh in appreciation. You had a friend majoring in graphic design who was more than willing to gain experience designing a logo for a business. Osamu was grateful for it. That was one last thing he had to worry about.

“When i decided to do this, I thought i'd be on my own. According to so many people I was letting my talent go to waste going into food instead of sports.” This time your hand goes to offer him a comforting squeeze. “But— I’m thankful. For you, shitty Tsumu, Kita and everyone else helping me. But don’t ever mention that to my brother.”

You can’t help but laugh, swearing to secrecy. You remember how Osamu half told you that him and his twin got into a nasty fight about him quitting sports back in high school. It ended in them betting who would end up the happiest at the end of their life. Thankfully the two got over it as they grew into men, and now Atsumu acted as his brothers ‘official and professional taste tester.’ He’d even gotten some of his teammates to do taste tests for more opinions.

—-

6 years later

“Thank you for all being here. I wanted to give a special thank you to the person who has held me down and kept me sane from the beginning. At least for the most part, sometimes they’re annoying.” Your jaw drops in a mix of amusement and shock at Osamu’s words. The mid size crowd around you laughs, even more as you go to push the man who doesn’t even falter.

“The first Onigiri Miya shop opened 6 years ago. And today we’re here to celebrate the grand opening of the largest branch yet here in Tokyo. Thank you for being here, and enjoy.” Osamu quickly bows before cutting the ribbon open to the new shop and allowing people inside.

As the last person trickles inside your left outside with your boyfriend and his twin, who was looking at you weirdly. He had a stupid smile in his face that seemed unusually genuine. “Would you stop looking at me like a weirdo. Let’s go inside” your walk is stopped by a hand grabbing yours. Your confusion is just marked by Osamu grabbing both of your hands. “Samu— what’s up?”

“This is weird. But not really,” You notice the twin starting to break his usual deadpan persona, even glancing at the blonde counterpart for a moment before taking a deep breath. A thought of what's about to go down briefly crosses your mind, but only for a point of a second, because there's no way.

“A few years ago you told me to hang on through the good and the bad. To this day, I don’t even think you knew what you were really saying. But you said it, and I did it. I stuck through the long nights where I wanted nothing more than to pull my hair out and give up. At the beginning when everything was going to shit. When I was spending more to run the shop than I was making. When my first shop caught fire and nearly burned to the ground-”

“All about you huh. Way to be self centered Samu,” both of you shot a glare at the blonde. Osamu for the interruption, and you for- well you didn’t even know. You only bit back that maybe he was learning from him, causing a smile to tug at Osamu’s face.

“Anyways- but I also stuck through with the good. From getting enough money saved to open a shop, getting approved for the starter loan, to finding the best vendors and having the chance to sell and grow at professional games. Then I opened up my second, and third and now fifth branch.” You can’t help but smile at the memory as you nod.

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Your love, kindness, and everything that makes you, you. You hung in there with me as you went through your own life. You graduated, started working at your dream company, and started working your way up. All this while supporting me endlessly. You even went as far as putting money down for me, and working at the shop for free. You were there through every step of the way.

You always told me to feel and don’t be afraid to ask for help, but the help you gave and continue to give is more than anyone could have ever asked for. During one of our midnight talks, you told me to hang on and love the ones who continue to keep me ground. You’re one of those people. The name of the shop. Onigiri Miya always had a nice ring to it.” Your eyes went through several emotions: confusion, realization, and now shock, as your boyfriend took a step back now getting onto 1 knee. You almost feel like you’re going to pass out as your mind runs blank.

“I love you a whole lot. So, (Y/N) will you make the name on the shop yours as well and marry me.” You don’t even remember the words yes coming out of your mouth or even nodding. Apparently you did because you're met with metal sliding on your finger and obnoxious hollering from a twin who you didn’t even notice was recording the entire time. Arms that circle around your waist and a failure figure hugging yours breaks you out of your state of shock.

“Here's to handling the future together. And sticking through the good and the bad.”

a/n: this series is NOT written in song order which is why the prev/next buttons dont work and wont until its applicable. This is the 3rd installment and my first time writing osamu so this shit seems mad OOC but i also dont know his character that well, but this song made me go to this idea so?????? Also reread and take a shot every time i reference the fucking title god i hate myself

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq imagines #osamu x reader #haikyuuwritersnet #osamu imagine #good and the bad #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines

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charmingpplincardigans · 3 years

Text

January Kitchen Sink Check In

This is mostly for me, because I’m trying to become a better person this year, for varying definitions of the term ‘better’, and I like to see my progress laid out all organized like. It helps me move forward. So I’m gonna go through my Body/Mind/Money goals for January and note how I did and what I’m going to do moving forward!

BODY

Working Out:

My two work out goals for the end of the year are to 1) be doing yoga semi-regularly and 2) be working out four days a week reliably, including the yoga. I’m working on easing myself into these (and all) habits, because I don’t want to overwhelm myself and give up on everything, so my goal for January was to work out one day a week. And I worked out *drumroooooooll* NONE! NOT A ONCE. I don’t have an excuse for this. Part of it was stress, part of it was depression, part of it was sheer laziness. I promise myself I’m gonna work out at least once a week in February, but also shoot for the two times a week that is the February Goal.

Food:

I have several overall food goals for the year. One is to give up soda near completely, or at least to break my addiction to it. The others are to start planning meals and eat less meat. For January I wanted to drink only two sodas a day (20oz max). I managed that 23 days out of 31. In looking at the calendar you can reliably match the days I failed to the days that were extremely stressful or anxiety ridden. I have a very bad habit in those moments of throwing up my hands and deciding that I’m a failure anyway so nothing matters. That’s definitely a mental tick to keep an eye on over the next few months as my job no doubt just gets more and more stressful. The other goals I did okay with. I decided to plan one meatless meal a week. New recipes I made in January were:

Black bean soup

Moroccan sweet potatoes

Spinach lasagna

Black bean & sweet potato enchiladas

Do recommend most of them. The lasagna had way too much cinnamon in it, which was kind of weird. If I make that recipe again I’m gonna quarter the amount. But I might just find a different veggie lasagna to make.

For February I want to drop the soda to one a day (12oz max), and start to plan to make two meals a week. I’m doing okay with meat, but I could for sure do better. It helps that I have started making THE WORLD’S BEST SANDWICHES for lunch. Probably just gonna eat those forever instead of ordering out Huey Magoo’s or whatever. (The sandwich is hummus, cucumber, and feta on toasted Good Seed bread. Try it!)

Doctor Things:

Uff. I need to figure out the CPAP issues and the chest pain issues. I absolutely despised the first mask they sent me for the CPAP. It gave me panic episodes and I was ripping it off IN MY SLEEP. Insurance refused me a new mask until April, but my doctor came in like an angel with a sample version of a different type of mask to try. This one is...better. I’m still not comfortable in it and it’s not appreciably helping my sleep. People keep telling me it’s going to change my life, but that has not happened yet. On the other hand I have friends who’ve tried to make them work for YEARS and never did, so I’m wary of this whole process, but still trying.

I had a sort of fraught meeting with my cardiologist last week. My chest pain symptoms had been getting better as of October, but with the change in my job I’ve back slid almost entirely. I had a 36 hour period of chest pain two weeks ago. I go whole nights having every heart attack symptom in slow motion, but doing nothing about it because I can’t afford for the ER to tell me I’m fine five times a month. I cried when she asked me why I didn’t go to a hospital when that happened. I feel so helpless all of the time and I’m certain I’m going to die any day now, even though my heart is technically physically fine. Can you anxiety yourself into a heart attack? I THINK YOU CAN. She did tell me to try to speak to the psychiatrist again about anxiety medication. The last time I tried the woman I saw didn’t want to prescribe me anything. She told me to work on my sleep and come back. Welp! The cardiologist said that if that happens this time she’ll write a note telling her to prescribe me something. We’ll see. I need to try to make that appt this month.

MIND

Therapy:

My therapist thinks I’ve done really well over the last year with working on myself and said out loud that she thinks I’m better at dealing with some things and am in a good position to move forward. But I’m so stressed right now that I just feel like I’ve fallen apart again. We’re meant to start on EMDR this week, but I’m going to have to put a pause on it so I can talk about how I’m at like, the lowest point of my life, which she will be very supportive of and then probably remind me that if we could just get to the EMDR and work with the older traumas this might not feel so dire. I’m just, on the struggle bus and too tired to do anything but freak out about that.

Writing:

I have so may creative goals this year! Too many probably! I should put some back! My creative goals for the year are:

Complete a rough draft of AMLD (10,000 words a month)

Complete and mail out the Girls Who Date the Universe chapbook

Complete and mail out any remaining art for people who helped me with the car fund

Work on poetry and short fictions (Monster Story?)

Actually check in to @gywo every month (10 days a month goal)

My creative goals for January were to write 10,000 words on AMLD, work on the extra poems for GWDTU, and send the remaining postcards from the car fund. And uh...look. I did work on writing. I worked on the chapbook layout and editing pieces that needed to be edited/replaced, because there are several. I did also work on the outline for AMLD, but didn’t write new words on it. Not anywhere 10,000 of them at any rate.

The owing people art thing is just...it fucks me up, man. I have learned a huge lesson between the car fund and the patreon. I get so in my head about how these people deserve beautiful things and then I tell myself I’m not capable of making things worthy of them and then I put off doing the thing because I want to put off letting them down and then it just spirals from there. ALL THE WHILE I AM FOR SURE LETTING THEM DOWN. I realize this is both unhealthy and unprofessional. It’s why one of my goals this year is to clear all of this once and for all so that I can square myself away with everyone and try not to end up here in the future.

So, the January Goals now get rolled up into the February Goals, which leaves the new list for the month at:

10,000 words AMLD

Complete extra poems for GWDTU

Send postcards from car fund

Complete layout for Boston chapbook for car fund

I did check in for GYWO.

Future Plans:

Part of letting off the pressure for the now for me is always about planning for the future. Not like, the actual future, I’m not starting a 401k, let’s not go nuts. But for something that is one step forward. In my notes for my year goals this is all about moving back to Boston. I need to set a date for it. I need to save money for it. I need to keep my job until after I’ve done it. But now I think this part needs to include notes about my job itself and the ways I can either move forward with it or move away from it once and for all.

I talked to Lisa and Kait at the beginning of the year about the moving plan, and now I just need to talk to my apartment complex to see if it would be feasible to extend the lease to December or February without paying an exorbitant amount in rent each month. If rent ends up being more than $2k/mo for the extension then I’m just going to have to have to wait until June 2022. This frustrates me, because I hate not being able to just follow through with decisions once I’ve made them, but patience is another thing I’m working on eternally. My goal for February is figure out money stuff well enough and talk to complex and set a timeline.

Work is. Wow. It’s awful right now. I still have my job, which takes up much of my days, but because of re-org I’m also having to learn a whole new job which would also take up much of my day. I can’t not learn this job, because the person who used to do it is in another department now too, so there’s no one to get the work done if I don’t learn to do it. But I also can’t do both. I CAN’T DO BOTH. An issue popped up last week with my job that literally brought my ulcer back. I asked my boss for help with it and she sent me a message at one point saying she wanted to cry about it. So like. She knows now, right? She knows I can’t do both jobs?? BUT THERE’S NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT SO I GUESS I JUST GET TO SLOWLY KILL MYSELF. I’m just so frustrated, and angry that these decisions get made without taking the people in them into account, and of course anxious and miserable. I’m currently dreading work in a way I haven’t since I was in text perms. It’s real bad. So I have to find a way to make it work or find a way out.

My February approach to that is to finish this Love It or Leave It book and see if I can’t divine where my true motivation lies, and also to research library school. I kind of would rather not go back to school. Not because I wouldn’t spend my entirely life in school if I could. I WOULD. But because it’s expensive and time intensive and there’s no promise my life will be better after it’s over. But every job I think I want pretty much requires that masters, so. We’ll look into it at least.

MONEY

Eating Out:

During the pandemic, one of my money sinks became DoorDash. I never used it before, because it costs literally twice as much as just going to get the food. (Also because I kind of like eating in restaurants alone. Ah, one day again I hope!) But the more afraid I became of the outside world, the less inclined I was to go into a restaurant to pick up take out, so I’ve had it brought to me. And I need to cut that shit out! I have food at home! My goal for January was to order out only 4 times a week. I managed this for three of the weeks, but when I blew it it was definitely those weeks at the very beginning and very end of the month where I was super stressed. The goal in February is to only order out 3 times a month.

Savings:

I need to open a high yield savings account. I’ve had the starting money for the move just sitting in my bank account making me no extra money for like, four months. The latest reason I haven’t moved it over is that I’m worried I’m going to owe a lot in taxes this year because of the partial unemployment I got. Hopes are that since it was a work share the taxes were taken out ahead of time, but I do not trust the government with my money as far as I can throw them, so. I’ll do my taxes this month and finally know for sure. And then I WILL move the rest of the money into a high yield savings account. I WILL.

Also, every time my credit union savings hits a grand, I’ll move $500 of that over into the high yield account to put toward moving expenses.

Budget:

I keep meaning to sit down and work out my new budget for 2021. I’m bringing home a little bit less in my paycheck because I changed my health insurance, and I’m also, of course, trying to save as much as I can ahead of moving so I don’t put anything on credit cards. (I’m doing so well paying those down!) This means I need to save everything I can and not spend money on stupid frivolous stuff. I’m not buying clothing like I did in the before times, but I AM spending too much money at Target still, because the app lets me just peruse any dumb idea I have and then pick it up that day! What a disaster! So, I really need to work something out. Or at least, I need to check my bank accounts more often and keep tabs on how much is actually going out. I have a bad out-of-sight-out-of-mind habit when it comes to bank accounts. Just another piece of me to try to cure this year.

And that’s it for January. I’m now late to bed because I’ve been working on this post for an hour and a half. Working on my sleep is also a goal, but we’ll see how exercise and the cpap handle that. Til next month!

#kitchen sink check in #to do #progress

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

Note

I hope you're doing well! I know you posted about a stressful situation last month, and I hope it's resolved itself. Sending good wishes you you and Hamlet!

Thank you so very much for checking in on me! I really do appreciate it. An update to that post under the cut.

Carol, who moved in with me on May 28, is still here. Right now, we have set a tentative move-out goal of the first or second week of August, but this is pending an apartment application that she hopes to finalize on Monday and a job situation that is a complete mess.

Basically, according to my limited understanding, Carol is licensed to teach in Florida. Alabama has a reciprocity clause with Florida, but it must be applied for. Carol has recently begun this process, but her teaching license(s?) is (are?) set to expire in December unless she passes certain exams. She’s already passed one for...general middle and high school teaching, I think, but failed a math exam. She has an art history exam Monday afternoon and expects to pass. I hope so, because she’s been doing nothing but watching Netflix and shopping for houses for the last few days in her new 2017 Jeep Cherokee.

I remain unspeakably grateful to my parents for teaching me financial literacy, because until I witnessed Carol’s decision-making, I had no idea how hard it was for some people to not spend money unwisely.

As a reminder, Carol is dead broke. She has $153,000 in debt across student loans, medical bills, Czech and US taxes, and some personal loans she would like to repay to friends for helping her. She is unemployed and has no support from her family and has relied on couch surfing at friends’ and acquaintances’ homes since last summer for housing. Since moving in with me, she has been trying to find somewhere to live that would accept her with all her debt and her nonexistent US employment history for the last ten years. Based on what she’s said, I think she has about $9k in the bank--or did, until last week.

In short, she needs a car, a job, and a home, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t care which order they come in.

Two weeks ago, she was offered a position in a rural town about 30 minutes from where I live. It’s a small, very country town which desperately needs a special education teacher, something I think Carol really does have a passion for. However, because she hasn’t finished the reciprocity licensure application yet, they’re having a lot of roadblocks with her paperwork, compounded by the fact that when she left Prague last year, she left all her important documentation behind: things like her birth certificate, her social security card, and her letters of recommendation, which for some reason she did not have electronic backups of. The principal has been trying to get what she needs from Carol for two weeks. Carol is constantly saying that things are “in process” but has nothing to show for it.

As far as we can tell, the job is still hers, but the school year starts August 13th and she still hasn’t been approved by the Board of Education because the paperwork is still not finished on her end. She did not attempt to replace her birth certificate or social security card until they needed it for the application. (Her friend in Prague--and I am beginning to realize she uses the word “friend” for anyone she’s met longer than sixty seconds), who frantically packed up all her belongings when she realized she would not be able to go back to the city, cannot ship her belongings or go through them for the important paperwork until next summer, as she and her husband are currently vacationing in Rome for a year.

Carol decided last night she is also going to apply for some online Department of Defense position--I didn’t understand the details and don’t really want to know, except that it’s also teaching and some administration. We’ll see how it works out. She is growing increasingly annoyed at the principal’s requests for paperwork completion, which baffles me.

So, job: shrug? Maybe?

Car next, then, but this whole mess also goes back to the financial literacy thing. My parents have always been extremely frugal (pennywise, as my dad would say), and from childhood they made it very clear to us to not buy things you couldn’t afford. They’ve never had a car payment in my memory, and they paid off their house about ten years ago. This means they drove a lot of junkers for a very long time, and for a very long time we had very few vacations, but now they’re fully financially stable and debt-free and my mom has a car that she drove off the lot brand new that they paid cash in hand for.

If I had been in Carol’s situation, I would have found a cheap, mostly reliable used car that probably wasn’t going to explode on me and drive that as long as I could while saving up for housing. I did in fact drive her to look at several used cars, most of which would have been even outside my expected budget (hers, as it happens, is larger even than that, because one of her overseas friends was willing to contribute $5000 to the cost of a vehicle). (I paid $6500 for my current car, a 2004, in college in 2012 with 70,000 miles on it at the time, and have driven it ever since.)

She rejected all of them because they did not have good “energy” and “feelings.” One she was willing to buy at $3700, but told the seller to go pay for his own inspection (once I explained to her what mechanical inspections were as a concept), so they ghosted her. She also is extremely afraid of head gasket failure--I don’t know why, since she knows nothing about cars--and has assumed all vehicles she has driven are on the verge of it, so after the first week she refused to even look at a vehicle without a warranty.

This means she exclusively limited herself to used dealership options, which I’m just going to come right out and say was monumentally stupid. I don’t know if any car dealers follow me, so I’m sorry if I am misperceiving this, but in my experience almost every dealer I’ve gone to has been aggressive, manipulative, and extremely predatory in their interest rates. I cannot think of a riskier course of action in abject debt than to try to cut a deal with a car dealer for the sake of a warranty I doubt will cover that much truly expensive failure in the long run anyway.

On Thursday, Carol bought a $20,000 2017 Jeep Cherokee from a dealership down the road. I don’t know what she put down. I do know she did not use her friend’s money (why not??) and I know her interest rate on the car loan is 4%, which she is extremely proud of and which horrifies me. She also “persuaded” them into a limited warranty that will cover the vehicle up to 100,000 miles (currently at 42k, and they ~only offer it for cars under 40,000 miles~). I can’t tell you how bad an idea I think all this is.

Thursday night, as she was regaling me with stories of her negotiating prowess, she also tells me she has decided to buy a house. She’s sick of renting, and somehow, someone somewhere managed to get her approved for up to $120,000 in a home loan. She already has $150k in debt, another $20k from the car, and now wants to buy a house. She was delighted that she could make the minimum 7% down payment, even though it would wipe out every cent she has left and leave her less than $500 to her name for moving expenses, utilities, food, title registration, etc. afterwards.

She doesn’t even have a secure job yet.

However, this plan seems to have fallen through. She went out with a realtor several times this weekend and came home the last time in great, heaving sobs, because she can’t find the 3bed 2bath she wanted in her price range. (For reference, most homes in this area go between 200k - 250k right now for 2-3bed 2ba, and the closer you get to the city--I have about a 20 minute commute--the higher it gets. My next door neighbor sold her 3bed 2.5ba for >300k three months ago, and Carol knew this.) She was absolutely devastated that the only things in her range were “tiny little ugly flipped houses” and “the ghetto.” The realtor basically said she wasn’t going to waste any more of her time. Carol repeatedly told me how grateful I should be that I got in at the price point I did a few years back, because no “normal people” could ever afford to break into the market again.

I tried to tell her that it was because I lived in with a roommate in very cheap housing and then a cell of a 1bed 1ba apartment for eight years while I saved money, but if nothing else, I’ve learned I’m not allowed to compare our situations or histories or offer advice of any kind except “go ahead and buy what you want,” because that only makes her cry harder. In the end, she has decided to give up on the house for now and settle for the absolute last thing in the world she wanted, an apartment with a lease.

To be honest, until she has a signed contract in hand, I half-expect this lease to fall through as well. I have tried to offer what I think is sensible advice and been ignored or rebuffed. I have tried to offer a sympathetic ear and ended up with her sobbing uncontrollably on me--heaving, body-wracking sobs--over and over again with me trapped in my own home, providing endless emotional support for a girl I don’t even like. I have tried to encourage her to do the things she wants to do, since she’s going to do them anyway, and when she gets “negative energy” after the purchases (buyer’s remorse, I think, that one little inkling of sense saying maybe it wasn’t a great idea to buy a $20,000 car or an $1100 brand new iPhone without a job), she blames it on the exact thing I said I thought might be good and makes me feel like I have now directly contributed to a negative outcome after poor decision-making.

For the record, when she says these things to me she is not saying, and has never said, them directly at me. She has never blamed me in any way for a negative outcome. She is not consciously trying to manipulate me or abuse me or take advantage of my help. She has never once asked me for money or job connections or for me to use any of my stability to unfairly or unethically get her something she needs. She is just completely absorbed in her own (rightfully absorbing) mess of a situation, and I think just completely unaware of how much of an emotional black hole she has become. There are no problems except her problems. There are no needs except her needs, and everyone around her has to understand how hard she has it at all times.

So, we’ll see. I am praying that the apartment works out next week. The owner seems to want to work with her, which is a hopeful sign. Good thoughts would be appreciated.

Aside from all of this, work has gotten extremely complicated. I’m not going to go into all of it now, but one of my jobs is to create an extremely detailed schedule for students in clinic. This is used to schedule patients in each service--if we have this many students, we can have this many patient slots per half-day, etc. Last week, two students were out unexpectedly, one who broke her arm the day before she was supposed to begin, and one who had a terrible anxiety attack and thought the symptoms were actually COVID. That student was tested and cleared negative, but Student Health requires a two-week quarantine anyway, so she was not allowed to return.

This meant that we now had multiple patients per day with no one to see them. We tried to reschedule as many as we could, but we still ended up with multiple overbooks. This is extremely stressful for me as both a provider, an instructor, and a human being who hates having other people wait on her in a professional capacity. We got through the week, but not without several painful bumps, and it’s looking like there will be more soon.

I also woke up to an email this morning that one of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites, I’m sorry), had a completely unexpected death in the immediate family and had to rush home. This is a very, very sweet, very smart girl who has worked unbelievably hard over the past year to do well in this program and in my courses, and I am just devastated for her. One of her friends is willing to cover her clinic, so the impact will be minimal on that side, but to have this happen during this country’s hellhole handling of this pandemic...I can’t even imagine it.

All of this isn’t even touching COVID. The President’s side has won in that sense--I don’t even register the numbers anymore--but as of last week our dean sent out messaging that implied that with our state’s failure to contain the spread, new discussions were going to be happening soon regarding our August start. We already had committed to full hybrid scheduling: all lectures online, in-person labs only where absolutely necessary to continue advancement in the program, and those labs limited to two per room with full PPE, but if they decide even that can’t happen, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I cannot make competent doctors over Zoom. I can’t. At some point they have to touch other people and look at other people’s eyes. They have to be able to check real, in-person blood pressure. They have to look at genuine eye movements and ocular surfaces in person and I cannot and will not let them enter clinic until they have the practice and the time and the practicals behind them. I fucking refuse to endanger the public for sixty years because someone in an office somewhere decided a timetable is more important than a patient keeping their ability to see, and I’m ready to fight administration on this if they try to push it.

But if I win the fight, what next? They just...don’t enter clinic next year. They don’t enter my program. I don’t know what they do in the meantime, as this lab meets four mornings a week and the lecture twice. The course is delayed until next year or whenever we have the virus under control again, and suddenly my fall semester sure looks like I’ll be being paid to stay at home and count carpet fibers. I don’t think they’ll fire me--no one else wants to teach my course anyway--but if I win this fight I might put myself right into furlough in the process.

I could be borrowing trouble, I know. They could come back and say that after review, our system and safety protocols (all extremely conservative) are indeed safe enough and we can proceed as we want. They could say that our limited in-person option for lectures (we have several gigantic lecture halls that could easily socially distance) is the only thing that needs to go. They could say that we just need to have smaller lab groups--hellish on me, but doable.

But it’s one more element of stress in my life that I just can’t handle worrying about right now, which is why I’ve been bouncing back and forth between random fics and oneshots (that mermaid one was feverishly written on a single evening Carol spent at her mom’s house) and pouring an ungodly amount of hours into Animal Crossing. At least there I have some control over what happens next.

Sorry, guys. I know this is not the happy update I was hoping for. I’ll try to check in again next month and we’ll see where things end up.

#quark rambles #carol #coronavirus for ts #covid-19 for ts #update post #not a happy one for those who can't handle that right now #anonymous #quark replies

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scapegrace74-blog · 4 years

Text

Satellite Mind

A/N I can’t stop myself. I’m weak! Weak! The Saorsa-sequel is coming along, but the Metric universe just won’t leave me alone. This story takes place just after Lost Kitten and Gimme Sympathy. Previous fics are available on my AO3 page.

Oh, and mild warning for foul language, if that’s not your thing.

The song by Metric that inspired the title and a few lines is here.

January 14, 2017, Spittalfields, England

“I’m happy for you, Geillis, really. I mean... Cartagena, wow. You can, what? Dabble in the emerald market?”

Her friend saw right through Claire’s glass face to her latent fear of abandonment. Fiercely independent, a precious handful of friendships and habits anchored her in the world. Without those tethers, she lived with a nameless dread that she might spin off into the void, lost in a great emptiness.

“Dinna lie tae me, Claire Beauchamp. Ye havna left yer bed in the twenty-four hours since I told ye. Ye’re jus’ starin’ up at the ceiling. Ye ken I wouldna ever want tae leave ya were it no’ for someone truly special. Juan Carlos, he’s...”

“Built like a stevedore and hung like a stallion, I believe were your exact words,” she interrupted, smiling despite herself at Geillis’ moonstruck infatuation. The redhead had met the Columbian businessman at a New Year’s celebration and now, two weeks’ later, had dropped the bombshell that she was planning on following him back across the Atlantic in the spring, leaving Claire without a roommate just as her income was nearly halved by the commencement of her medical studies.

“Aye, he is that. Everyone thinks I’m mad, but it’s the real thing between he and I. I jus’ feel it. Ye’ll ken the feeling yerself one day. But I willna leave ye high an’ dry. I’ll see ye settled, a’fore I go.”

Claire doubted that very much. It was Geillis’ name on the lease, which meant that as soon as she gave notice their landlord was free to increase the rent. Spittalfields was moving upmarket as one dilapidated industrial building after another was converted into lofts and chic office space for the urban gentry. There was no way she’d be able to afford the new payment at their current flat, even if she could find another roommate she could stomach. And moving out on her own was equally out of the question. The ghost of her past mistakes haunted her most when she was alone.

***

February 2, 2017, Royal London Hospital, England

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” A metal spoon clattered into the break-room sink and a few other nurses glanced over, trying to decide if bloodshed between the two was imminent.

“Tis is a matter of some debate,” Geillis replied, undaunted. She’d expected this reaction, which was why she’d cornered Claire during the short overlap between their shifts when she couldn’t run away. At least the British Army had left Afghanistan, although South Sudan was still a possibility.

“James Fraser. You approached Jamie Fraser, without my permission I might add, to find out whether he still had a room to let. I cannot fucking believe you, Geillis Duncan! Where do you get off...”

“First,” Geillis interrupted the predicted tirade by holding up her index finger, “you yerself remarked on his lovely flat, and how fastidious he was. Second, tis in the neighbourhood an’ right around the corner from tha’ chipstand ye love. Third, ye’re both shift workers and will hardly see each other. Fourth, if ye do bump inta the wee fox cub when he’s runnin’ about in his skivvies, weel, thas a hardship many a lass would be willing tae face in yer place. And fifth,” here Geillis raised her palm and outstretched fingers right in front of Claire’s nose, “ye can afford it.”

Claire huffed, but was otherwise silent. She couldn’t deny that Geillis’ points were mostly valid, but she hated the idea of accepting charity from Jamie, of being seen as a burden. If she’d approached him herself, perhaps...

“Wait a second. How did you even know Jamie still had a room to let? Have you been in contact with him?” Something toxic simmered in her belly. Geillis and Jamie texting each other. Talking about her behind her back. Sharing intimacies from which she was excluded. It was a flashback of a feeling that hit too close to home for comfort.

“Och, no. Didna I tell ya? I ken the lad’s uncle, Dougal Mackenzie. Bald as a billiard cue, but tha’ man can fuck for hours. I remember one time, we were...”

“Oh my god, Geillis, please tell me you didn’t cheat on Jamie with his uncle!”

“It canna be cheatin’ if ye were ne’er together tae begin wi’,” Geillis pronounced. “Ye’re too ecclesiastical by half, Beauchamp. T’anyway, I hadna met Dougal when yon lad and I had our... dalliance. But imagine ma surprise when I showed up tae meet Dougal at Bethall Fire Station in a wee red dress tighter than a nun’s chuff, an’ standin’ right next tae him is the fox cub, face turning bright as a forge. Twas an awkward moment tae be sure, even measurin’ by my very high standards.”

***

February 13, 2017, Spittalfields, England

“Ye’ll be wantin’ tae look about the kitchen, I reckon. Twas the only room ye didna really see, when ye were here last. An’ the storage locker, but there’s nought down there but sportin’ equipment tha’ reeks tae high heaven. No’ that I dinna try tae wash out the stench, mind you.”

Jamie resolved to limit himself to two word sentences for the rest of the tour. Anything more was too great a risk to his dignity.

“It’s lovely, especially with the morning sunlight streaming through the windows. How much is the monthly heating bill again?”

It was almost Valentine’s Day and Claire still didn’t know where she was going to live come March. She’d flipped through free rental magazines and scrolled a few message boards, but hadn’t made any serious efforts to secure a new home. She told herself she was too busy preparing for medical school and working full-time, but in the back closet of her mind she allowed the idea of moving in with Jamie to take root.

Then, last night while drifting through the deep fog just before sleep she’d had a thought. Living with Jamie would finally put an end to all of Geillis’ awkward match-making efforts. If they were roommates, they couldn’t be anything else besides. Rolling over and grabbing for her phone before she could second-guess herself, she fired off a quick text to the number Geillis had added to her Contacts under Wee Fox Cub. Despite the late hour, two minutes later he texted back. And now here she was, seriously contemplating the impossible.

They were sitting across from each other on the couch, negotiating terms. Claire found herself making ridiculous demands, somehow hoping that Jamie would balk at the last minute and this perilous adventure would come to its natural end.

“I’ll be studying when I’m not on shift, so loud noise and music is a deal breaker for me,” she listed while eyeing the bowl of trail mix set out on the coffee table.

“I own a good pair o’ headphones, and my sister would tell ye there’s a reason I dinna sing outside o’ the shower. Did ye want some?” Jamie extended the bowl in her direction, but she shook her head.

“If I’m to live here, the flat will need to be ours equally. I know you lived here first, but I’d be paying half the rent. That means we share common elements down the middle. Half the cabinet space, half of the refrigerator and freezer.” She looked around the main room, where it was obvious Jamie did most of his living. “I’d want to put my desk below the window there, where there’s lots of natural light. I don’t want to always be hidden in my bedroom like some low-rent AirBnB guest.”

“O’ course,” Jamie quickly agreed. “I can clear out some of my books and such from the shelves as weel. And I was thinkin’ of movin’ the Xbox inta my room. There’s ano’er TV in there, ye ken, so ye won’t be exposed tae my tears while I’m watchin’ Six Nations matches.”

“That won’t be necessary, Jamie. I really don’t have many things. Some holdover to my years living out of a suitcase with my uncle, I suppose.”

He was being altogether too agreeable. It was time to break out the big guns.

“We need to talk about one last thing. Some might think it usual for a young woman who is single, living with a young man who is single to feel a certain...”

“Wha’ makes ye think I’m single?” Jamie interrupted, and she snapped her mouth shut in surprise.

“Well, with your history with Geillis, and I’ve never seen you with someone, I just assumed...” she trailed off, fighting down the urge to bolt.

Jamie laughed. “I’m teasin’ ye, Claire. O’ course I’m single. Do ye think I’d be contemplating inviting a bonnie lass tae share my flat if I were spoken for?”

“Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it? People might make assumptions. One of us might do so as well. Feelings would get hurt. So I think it’s important to be very clear at the outset. You seem like a lovely man, but there will never be anything between us.”

“Because of my history wi’ Geillis, y’mean?” Jamie asked.

“Well, that as well. But also because I’ll be far too busy with work and my studies to sustain any kind of relationship, least of all with someone who, when things fall apart, would be in a position to leave me without a roof over my head. I’ve been there before, and I don’t intend to ever go back.”

“Aye, I see.” Jamie nodded absently, obviously digesting this large morsel of information and not finding it entirely to his taste.

“So that’s my final stipulation. I don’t mind if you have overnight visitors. You’re a grown man, and you can act as you please. But we need to agree that any kind of romantic relationship between us is off-limits.”

Claire grabbed a handful of snacks and popped them into her mouth. She observed Jamie as she chewed. In retrospect, this was a brilliant move on her part. If Jamie accepted, she would have solved for both her housing crisis and her ambivalent feelings towards the Scot. And if he declined, well, that would tell her something too.

Squaring his shoulders, Jamie extended his hand.

“We’re agreed.”

And that was how Jamie and Claire became just roommates.

#my writing #outlander

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