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mrs-weasley-reid · 14 days

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Say Don't Go

Spencer Reid x bau!reader

Summary: Nothing hurts more than the fear of losing you.

Warning: Angst. mentions of death, blood, gunshot

A/N: I wrote this in haste, literally ten minutes ago, while listening to Say Don't Go (Taylor's Version) by mother Taylor Swift. It's definitely not perfect but I was definitely in the zone when I wrote it lol.

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

A gunshot.

Everything fades into a muffle. You blink once, twice, thrice... A wince connects your brows. As if you're figuring out if the oozing feeling on your abdomen should be causing you pain or ease.

Suddenly, Spencer's running to you. You think he's screaming. You hear nothing. There's only ringing in your ears. A thin, high-pitched ring that pierces through your brain.

You drop on the precinct's carpet floor, caressing your stomach like it's enough to stop yourself from bleeding out. You look at Spencer, "When'd you get here?" You ask, disoriented. You instantly pay attention to his watery eyes. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" You reach to cup his cheek. You are shocked when you see your hand covered in red, smearing the liquid on his skin. Your eyes widen, "Oh, my god?! You're hurt! Spence—" You try to sit up, but a wave of stinging pain makes you fall back in his arms.

"WHERE'S THE MEDIC?!" Spencer's voice echoes in the entire place. He turns to you, unsure if he is even allowed to have you in his arms. He doesn't dwell on it as he holds your hand on his cheek, squeezing it. "Hey, hey! Breathe for me, yeah? Stay with me." He swallows a sob, placing pressure on your abdomen. "Please, stay with me..."

"I'm hurt?" Stupor begins to steal you out of consciousness. You blink. A bright light blinds your vision.

Once you open your eyes, you're back in Spencer's apartment. He's standing across the room while your feet are rooted at the door. He doesn't look at you. No. He's afraid to look at you.

His hands are buried in his pockets. He's wearing a nice suit. Fitted just for him. His tie is a dark shade of purple. You gave him that tie for his birthday last year. It's loose. His hair is a mess. And his face... it's wet.

He's crying.

You're crying.

"I think you should go," Spencer takes a gulp as he stares at the floor. Like it'd kill him if he looked at you.

You inhale deeply, sniffing as you wipe a tear with the back of your hand, "We don't have to do this, Spence. You don't have to do this."

"Yes, we do!" For the first time in what feels like forever, he finally lifts his gaze at you. His hazel eyes are rimmed with red heat, overflowing with tears. He's hurt. He's hurt, too.

"Is it really that horrible to love me?" You sob. You can hear your heart slowly shatter. Pins and needles knock on your chest. You wonder if you're still breathing right. "Am I that ugly—"

"You know that's not true, sweetheart." You hate that the nickname gives you butterflies. How his words, awful and insensitive, still made you attentively listen. How his voice still makes you want to hear more. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

"Then why?!" You felt like a child throwing a tantrum. "Why are you putting a distance between us?" You bite your lower lip to stop it from quivering. "Why is it such a crime to be together?"

Spencer shifts his gaze to somewhere else. He runs a hand through his hair. You notice the coffee stain at the cuff of his sleeve. Then, you see the smudge of red lipstick past the line of his lips. Your red lipstick. He bought that lipstick a few months ago. No reason. Just for the fun of it.

Is it bad that you think he still looks handsome under the sun's setting light? Even when his hair is arrayed in different directions? Even when his face is drenched with his own tears?

He breathes deeply, audibly, "We're in the same line of work. You know better than to think we're going to work. News flash, sweetheart. It won't. It's not worth it." He can't look at you. He's ashamed to look at you.

"Not... worth it?" You blink. You stare at him with disgust, "So— So what? We're nothing, but we fuck? We're nothing, but we flirt? We're nothing, but you love me? Please, explain it to me because I'm having a difficult time understanding the stupid shit of a point you're making."

Spencer gulps for the nth time, "You love me."

"What?" You regret wanting to meet his eyes because now that he's staring at yours with such unfamiliarity, it hurts.

"You love me. You said you love me. I never said anything."

You're definitely not breathing right.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"Inhale, exhale... Yeah, that's right, sweetheart. Just follow me." Spencer holds your hand tight as the paramedics do their best to stop you from bleeding out. His voice sounds heartbreaking.

His voice...

You blink. Your hearing's back. You do as he says, inhaling and exhaling as he does. You feel lightheaded, like you're floating on a cloud.

Spencer keeps his and your hands intertwined. He follows while the paramedics roll you into the ambulance. "Hang in there, sweetheart. Please, hang in there." His face is a mess. He doesn't stop crying, swallowing his sobs.

You smile into the oxygen mask, blinking. You're on the verge of dying, and yet you find humor in knowing Spencer's tells. "You swallow when you're scared... don't be scared, Spence." You say it in broken words and in an almost soundless voice.

"I'm not," He denies, wiping his tears aggressively. He is. He's scared to the bone.

"The bullet shattered to her chest," The paramedic who inspects your chest claims, looking at her partner with worry.

"W-what?" Spencer stutters, stealing a glimpse down your neck. "No, no, sweetheart. Stay with me. Stay with me." He sees the way you flutter your eyes, fighting to stay conscious, listening to his pleas. And how you suddenly stopped, never opening your eyes back up. "Don't— Don't close your eyes! Sweetheart, please don't go. Please, don't—" He looks up at the sound of your vitals plummeting. He quickly looks back at your face, saying your name like it's a prayer.

The machine flatlines, and the paramedic pushes Spencer aside to perform resuscitation. "Sir, let us do our job." One of them says, two inches deep as she manually restarts your heart.

Spencer shoves himself in the corner of the ambulance. He wraps his arms around him. "Please, don't go..." His voice cracks and transitions into writhing sobs as he watches your body go limp with each surge of electricity that shocks your skin.

Then he thinks of that night.

He thinks of the image of you standing by the door. You don't want to go. He doesn't want you to go.

But you have to... because if you don't, he'll run to you and never let you go. So, he tells you to leave. You protest.

So stubborn. He cries in his head, wishing that you hadn't made things difficult for being so beautiful even when you're crying.

"You love me. You said you love me. I never said anything." His body shakes on the spot. His mouth goes dry. His chest compresses. He lies through his teeth.

Spencer saw the way your face turned into a ghost. He's done it.

He broke you.

He hurt you.

No turning back. No way of fixing it.

"Ah..." You say softly, nodding. "Checks out." You add without a sign of sarcasm. You stare into the air for a minute. You let the silence hover and hunt Spencer for a moment. You let him realize the pain, the stupidity of it all. "I think I should leave..." Your eyes say otherwise.

Please say, "Don't go." Tell me not to leave. Run to me... please.

You wonder if he knows it or chooses to ignore the way you held your tears. If he caught on all your tells. Because you knew he wasn't true. You knew he knew that you could read him like the back of your hand.

"Yeah," Spencer straightens his back, "I think you should."

You purse your lips into a thin line and nod, "Okay," You turn around. You take three seconds to grab the knob, but when the time has run out, you are out in a heartbeat.

"Spencer."

JJ appears in Spencer's vision. "Spencer, are you okay?" Her face was covered with worry as she placed two hands on his shoulders. She exchanges looks with Derek and Aaron.

They were there when it all went down. When the unsub came out of nowhere and started shooting. You were the first shot.

Spencer cranes his neck around. He's in the waiting room. He doesn't remember when or how he got there. All he remembers is the defibrillator jolting your unresponsive body more than once. His eyes widen. He says your name in haste as he stands up, "Where is she? Where— Where..."

Derek holds him back, "She's in surgery, Reid. Did you forget?" He asks, gently pushing Spencer back onto his seat.

"She was dead for three minutes... They couldn't find a pulse for three minutes." Spencer announces at a loss. He looks down at his hand, at the cheap friendship bracelet around his wrist. The one you made in your first year with the team as a last-minute birthday gift. He breaks into a sob, covering his eyes as if to push them back inside his tear ducts.

"So?" Derek catches Spencer's hands off his face, "She's been in surgery for thirty minutes. Her heart started beating again, and it had been for thirty minutes. She's fighting, man. At least fight with her before you wallow like a ninny."

"Morgan," Aaron warns but silently agrees.

You're fighting for your life, so they should, too.

You're not ready to go.

You don't want to go.

Spencer nods and wipes his face. He sniffs and takes a deep breath. He glances at the door to the operating room like he has x-ray vision, "Don't go."

#spencer reid #criminal minds #criminalminds #ssa spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencerreid #fem!reader #cm #spencer reid angst #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you

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chimielie · 3 months

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oh my god, they were roommates

part 2 to and they were roommates. no cws, just silliness.

you're not talking to tooru.

he's not sure how you manage it so effectively. you eat all your meals in your room while he's home, except for when you manage to sneak from there to the door while he's in the bathroom. his only clue that you've gone out is that you leave your bedroom door open when you do, really hammering home how empty his life suddenly is.

"even when we're in the same room," he sighs, resting his cheek on his fist. "it's like trying to grab a fish out of the water. i turn around or blink and poof! gone!"

"your sleeve is dipping into your drink," says his date. "and i really think you need to discuss this with your roommate. at home. alone."

tooru waves goodbye forlornly as they stand up and walks out of the restaurant, leaving behind a half-eaten ball of rice and a broken man.

"you are like a sad, sad," akaashi says, pausing to really linger on the word sad, "wet cat. please stop bringing your dates here to mope about—to them. you are forming bad associations between our business and your terrible romantic etiquette."

akaashi keiji is a mangaka now, or an editor for one, anyway; he works at onigiri miya (tokyo location) on the side because it's the only way he routinely leaves the house; tooru brings his dating drama here to brighten up what must surely be a terribly boring life.

"what would you do without me, akaashi-kun," tooru stretches his arms high with a languid sigh that makes akaashi worry that he has comprehended none of his words. "wouldn't you be so miserable if you didn't have me to bring romance and excitement to your life?"

"i have a boyfriend of several years," akaashi says, which is rude to remind tooru of while he's in such a vulnerable state. "i have plenty of excitement with him in my life."

"inconsiderate!" tooru snorts. "please break up with him to show me solidarity."

"i will not be doing that." akaashi picks up the nameless and now-vanished date's plate and takes a bite out of the leftover food.

"understandable," tooru nods, "that's very reasonable. i just don't know what to do, or how to fix it, or what i did wrong."

"you come in here every other night to whine about what you did wrong."

"do not."

"do too," akaashi sticks out his tongue at him. there's a grain of rice stuck to his lip. "you spent several months going out on dates trying to make your friend-turned roommate jealous—during which, I'll note, you basically exclusively talked about the person you were and continue to be obsessed with—then initiated... romantic physical contact, then ran away. because you have the attachment style of a stray cat."

"ah, akaashi-kun," tooru says. "are you saying i get around?"

"i am saying you are lurking outside the window and begging for attention and then biting the hand that feeds you when you get it.”

“oh.” tooru is quiet for a moment. “can i get the check?”

“it’s on the house if you’ll just go home and talk to your roommate and never come back here with another date.” akaashi says, finishing off the onigiri.

“deal.”

your room is empty, your bedroom door ajar when he comes home. mournfully, tooru sits on the bed, reminiscing over the hours he'd spent gossiping with you here.

he'll just wait for you to get back. when he used to take you dancing—with your other friends, but you'd wind your arms around his neck and he'd run light hands over your waist, your hips, and you would look at him like no one else even existed—you always wanted to leave before midnight. it's ten-forty-nine now, according to his watch, so he's sure you'll be back before long.

you get home at two-oh-four. you had never seen the point in staying out longer when going home and chatting over a bowl of cheesy noodles with tooru was so much more appealing—you didn't want to dance with anyone else anyway. now, though, you don't want to be home, and you have something to prove. to who, you're not sure, but you find yourself staying out later and later.

even though you always return home alone. you'd thought about really upping the ante, about moving on as abruptly as possible, but you couldn't. it felt like going too far in this petty revenge game. after all, you still—

you stop short, dropping your shoes on the floor. the devil is in your bed, lying on his side, knees tucked to his chest to fit his absurdly long frame. his breaths are even and deep, his face peaceful.

"oh, tooru," you sigh, and climb over him to tuck yourself against his warm side.

you blink your eyes open slowly, sleep still gleaming in the corners of your vision. there's a weight on your hip and something that smells really, really good surrounding you, nearly lulling you back to sleep.

"oh, please don't," says a voice you haven't heard in days. "my arm's circulation has been completely cut off. i may never serve again."

you jolt away from the soft source of warmth, which you realize belatedly is oikawa's chest.

"what happened?" you say, swiping at your face with the back of your hand.

he looks frustratingly perfect as always, brown hair rumpled, eyes soft like you aren't in the biggest spat of your friendship.

"i was waiting for you," he admits, leaning on his side and casting his eyes down, his lashes shadowing his high cheekbones. "because i wanted to apologize, to be clear. i must have fallen asleep, and then i woke up, and it was like—"

"yes," you cough. "i see. um."

"i'm sorry," he says. "hey, look at me. i'm really sorry."

"for what, oikawa?" you laugh nervously.

"for being stupid," he rolls one shoulder in a shrugging motion. "for trying to make you jealous and instead just being, like, a complete fucking clown during all of it."

"make me jealous?" you say, blinking at him.

"please don't look at me like that," he says, scrubbing over his face with the hand that's not propping up his head. "it-you make me nervous."

"we've been friends for years," you say, still apparently lost. "how can i make you nervous?"

"you always will," he laughs, but it's strained. "look—i like you. probably more, but i'm trying not to scare you—any more than i already have, i mean. i'm not sorry for kissing you, is what i mean. i should just—i should probably go."

"wait," you say firmly before he can untangle himself from your sheets. putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing yourself up to meet his lips, which are soft and dry and parted slightly with surprise.

the kiss is warm and lingers, even after you pull away. tooru stares at you with dazed eyes that make you shy, dropping your own. his voice is quiet but hopeful, contrasting his words in tone when he speaks.

"what the fuck?"

#haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq!! x reader #oikawa x reader angst #oikawa angst #oikawa fluff #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader fluff #oikawa tōru x reader

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sturniololoco · 2 months

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Are you Scared? Pt 2

Colby Brock x Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS)

Warnings: Kissing, ghosts, random shit, etc.

Note: Kinda set from the collab but some events r out of order

SLS's POV

“God damn, which one of you had to take a dump?” Chris asked, laughing while Nick smacked him lightly in the stomach.

Colby smiled at them, laughing like what just happened down the hall didn’t even happen.

I smiled and laughed too, but it was fake. The ache in my chest grew at a steady pace, making me feel slightly sick.

What did I do?

That ache was still present as we walked into the room full of old mirrors.

Colby has been ignoring me ever since we left the hallway downstairs.

I walked behind the group as they filmed the inside of the room. My head was down and I was biting on my nails, nervous, trying to figure out where I where wrong.

“SLS/N, come here real quick.” I heard Matt say, pulling me to the left of the door while everyone else walked into the room.

“What’s wrong? And don’t you bullshit me kid, I know you.” He asked, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at him, the ache in my chest moving to my eyes and throat, but I forced it back down.

“I’m good right now, I promise.” I said, hinting him in with the ‘right now’.

“okay, you will tell me later though…?” He said like a question, but I knew it was practically an order.

I nodded, taking his hand from my shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

"Hey guys, we're about to start-"

I whipped my head around to look at Colby, who was poking his head out the door. But as soon as his eyes met mine, he cut himself off.

I looked down, cheeks red, but that ache in my chest, throat, and eyes was only getting stronger.

Matt and I walked past him into the room, but I could feel his gaze on me the entire time.

As we entered, Sam was talking to Chris and Nick about the possibility of portals through the mirrors of this room.

I only picked up about half the conversation though, focused on keeping my eyes to the floor in hopes of not meeting Colby's stare.

But his gaze was not breaking.

“O-Oh shit, I think I left my phone by the elevator.” I lie, excusing myself quietly from the room and walking out into tue corridor.

I break as soon as I pass the threshold.

Tears spill over my eyes and onto my cheeks, but I hold the sobs in, making my throat throb.

I get back to where were earlier, by the elevator, and sit down where nobody could see me. I brought my legs to my chest and stared at the wall in front of me.

What the fuck did you do. You always mess these things up.

My thoughts were screaming at me for being so stupid. I still don’t understand what I did but knowing me, it was something.

“SLS/N,”

I whipped around looking at the voice behind me.

Colby.

He walked over to me and kneeled, while I quickly ducked my head to stare at my hands in my lap.

Colby’s POV

This was all my fault.

I treaded her like shit, and now she feels like shit. So do I.

“Oh my gosh! I left the spare light out there!” I lied, quickly running out of the room before Sam could tell me we don’t need it.

After a minute of searching, I find SLS/N sitting in the corner by the elevator, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

Shit.

I say her name and her head whipped to look at me, tears in her eyes and her cheeks pink.

But this time she wasn’t blushing, she was upset.

Kneeling down, I lift her head up by her chin, using my pointer finger and thumb.

She looks deep into my eyes as I wipe a stray tear from her cheek.

“I’m sorry.” I say.

And apparently that’s all I had to say, because next thing I know, her lips are on mine and her arms are around my neck.

It doesn’t last long though, because she pulls back, saying,

“I’m so sorry-I had no idea what I did and I thought I made you upset and I-“ she started to ramble, fumbling with her fingers behind my head.

She keeps talking so I place my index finger on her lip.

She shut up immediately.

��You have nothing to be sorry for, so stop talking like you do.” I say.

She nods her head and I take my finger off her mouth, kissing her one last time before I stand, saying,

“We better get back before I get in trouble.”

She nods, grabbing my hand to pull herself up, then doesn't let go, which makes my heart flutter.

SLS/N's POV

Once filming was over, we said goodbye in the hotel lobby.

My brothers headed out to the car while I lied, saying I had to use the bathroom one last time before returning to our hotel.

Technically, it wasn't a lie since I never got to go earlier.

As I stepped out of the bathroom and into the hall, I could hear familiar footsteps coming closer.

I smiled as I saw Colby's face appear around the bend.

He wasted no time at all, leaning in and kissing me, grabbing my hops to pull my body closer to his.

"Give me your phone." he breathed into the kiss, reaching for my pocket.

I instantly obeyed, pulling my phone out and unlocking it, before handing it to him.

He fiddled with it for a few seconds before handing it back. He then shot me a corny wink before turning to walk into the men's bathroom.

It was late by the time we got into the hotel, and I wasn't able to check my phone till after I showered and was tucked into bed next to Nick.

The first notification I saw made me smile at my screen,

Colby:

Ft me when your brothers are asleep ;)

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq @idkhowtosleep

Guys, I'm actually so mad that I had to rewrite this! Thanks a lot, Tumblr for deleting ALL my shit!!!

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tim-shii · 3 months

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i remember it all too well.

featuring: bachira meguru, itoshi rin, mikage reo

" you almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me. "

bachira meguru was an eccentric lover. he likes to have fun and takes you on dates you’d never even expect. one time, during your second date, he took you out to go bungee jumping. you were frozen on the platform for 30 minutes while he was down there, cheering you on with a stupid smile on his face and his phone recording you.

right now, you guys are on the way home after a day at a cat cafe. they were really cute but their fur all over you was not cute at all. you look out the window, admiring the view as the car sped through the road. you hold back a laugh as you pass by a squirrel falling down a tree with its acorn stuck in the branch. you turn to tell bachira when you notice he’s already looking at you.

“eyes on the road!”

“i got my eye on you.” and to push it further, he points two fingers in your direction. sighing lighty, you shove his face to turn to the road. “you can eye me later if we don’t die.”

bachira whips his head to look at you accusingly. “excuse me?! my driving skills are maxed out, you know. and besides, who’s the one with the license between us, huh? that’s right. me. bachira megu–” “yeah, yeah. shut up.” you try to shush him however that seemed to only seethe him more. more screams of fury and annoyance comes from bachira. you were only seconds away from tuning him out when you saw the traffic light glow red. immediately, you urged bachira to step on the brakes. with the panic in your voice, he abides at once.

now at a stop sign, deep breaths coming from the two of you fill the vehicle. giggles and laughter following after. “oh my god, stop laughing, meguru.” he halts his laughter. playfully gesturing a zipper over his lips yet the obvious grin on his face gives it away.

“can we both agree to always keep an eye on the road now?”

“yes, ma’am… got my other eye on you tho.”

“bachira.”

" you told me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me. "

getting into a relationship wasn’t in itoshi rin’s bucket list. or any list really. never did he think that he’ll be here at 3am in the morning, on his bed, with you, and he’s telling you all about him. from the very first time he held a soccer ball to the day sae left for spain. he confided in you, hiding no side of his self and showing you all and even letting you see through him completely.

“so, this is it?” the air was cold. breaking up on a december night? it almost makes him laugh. he’d fight for it but.. what was the point? this is the ending of a love story. your love story. if he tries to change the ending, who knows what could happen next? you stay with him out of pity? or you get tired and all goes in a circle once more. he stays silent. not uttering one word and maybe that set you off because you dragged a hand down your face. he observes you for the first time in weeks. you look really tired and if letting this end would make you happy then so be it.

he walks past you and that leaves you baffled. so he’s just leaving, you think in your head. chest aching and hands itching to reach out, but you don’t. because if he’s walking away without a word, what are the chances he’ll hear you out?

“oh god, i never thought it could end up like this.” rin hears you whisper to yourself as he grabs his coat and makes his way to the door. he bites on his lips, urging the tears brimming his eyes to not fall. not now. as he strolls through the park, he mutters to himself. “neither did i.” but you weren’t there to hear him. only the moon knows.

" we're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light. "

loving mikage reo was unexpected and something you’re grateful for. he’s the best boyfriend one could ever ask for. he fell in love with you at first sight when you took his coffee order at the cafe down the block. the continues to visit the coffee shop with a bouquet of flowers dedicated for you everyday until you give him your number.

cravings at midnight are common. you had them a lot so sneaking out of reo’s arms became something you’re skilled at. tiptoeing towards the fridge, you rummage through every shelf to find something to eat. a yelp escapes you as you felt cold hands slid under your shirt. reo’s laughter breaks your shock, turning to hit him in the chest. that just seems to make him laugh more.

“hi, sweetheart. what are you doing?” he smiles like he did nothing wrong. you scowl at him before turning to rummage through the fridge once again. “i’m hungry. i wanna eat.”

“oh? should we just order then?” reo asks you, pulling out his phone and opening a delivery app. he was about to click on an item until your hand blocks his phone while you stare him down with a glare. “reo, your fridge is full to the brim. baa-ya even had to push things in the pantry ‘cause there’s no more space!”

“come on, use your inside voice inside the house.” like the smooth man he is, he cuddles you in his arms, swaying the both of you side by side. only to stop when you pinch his side. “ow! what was that for?"

“don’t dance with me when the fridge door is open!”

“but it’s romantic!”

“an overpriced electricity bill isn’t!”

“you’re not even the one paying the bills–ow!”

likes and reblogs are appreciated! masterlist

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talaok · 10 months

Note

Hi🌻

Can you please write a pedro×reader where they are fighting really seriously and suddenly kisses the reader and things get spicy...

And if it's no bother can you please make it long

Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

Warnings: angst and allusion to smut

11:32 pm

Another day, and another night alone.

Something was playing on the tv, but you had stopped paying attention a while ago.

The streetlamp across the street felt more interesting than anything a screen had to offer.

The road was deserted, and the house across from yours had all the lights off,

It's a Friday night, they're probably out. You can almost picture them at that cute bar in town, holding each other's hands while talking about their respective days.

It must be nice, to be a perfect couple, to have someone to go home to every day, to not wake up and go to sleep in an empty bed.

But there you were.

Yes, you knew what you had gotten yourself into, you knew about the long hours, the need to move every six months, the hectic lifestyle, you knew about all of it... but still, nothing could have ever prepared you for the loneliness that came with it.

And what angered you was that maybe it wouldn't have been that bad, if he only talked to you once in a while, a real talk, a conversation starting with a simple "how are you doing?"

So that you could tell him how you were really doing.

But no, every time you were together now, you either had sex or both of you were too tired to finally have that conversation.

It had been a whole month now of that god-awful routine, and you were sick of it.

Tonight you were gonna talk, whether he wanted to or not

A click sounded to your left as the door opened.

"Hi," he said more like a question, a clear hint of his confusion.

You were never awake when he got home.

"Hi"

"what are you doing up?"

You stood from the couch, as he took off his jacket and tossed it on the hanger.

"I was waiting for you"

"yeah?" he smirked, his eyes glinting with a suggestive tint.

"We need to talk"

"oh" he breathed, clearly disappointed "about what?"

You were now in front of him, taking in the scruffy beard that had just recently gotten some streaks of white matching his hair.

The evidence of the years passed could be seen all across his face, except his eyes, of course, the same big hazel ones you fell in love with.

"Scarily expressive" you had told him the first time you met, and never a day had gone by that you hadn't stood by it.

You were sure that he could stop talking any day and his eyes would do the rest without any problems whatsoever.

And now, now what they conveyed was tiredness, mixed with confusion.

"You're never home Pedro"

there, plain and simple.

He sighed now, getting where this was heading, he could have acted clueless all he wanted, but he too, knew this conversation was long overdue.

"Y/n I'm tired, can we do this another time?"

"When?" you scoffed "We never see each other! It's like I live alone Pedro, how do you think that makes me feel?"

"Listen it's not my decision, I have to work" he muttered, walking to the bedroom and leaving you behind like a useless piece of trash.

"I know it's not, but do you even try? How long has it been since you've taken a day off? Hell, even a morning off?" You trailed behind him.

Once again: You were gonna talk today.

"What would you rather I do? Stop working?" he asked, condescending as ever, turning to face you as he took his shoes off.

"No! I'm just saying you could try a little harder to be home more often"

"I was home yesterday!"

"Yeah at 5:30 pm and you invited Mike over"

"what's wrong with Mike being here?"

"Nothing just- we never have a moment to ourselves anymore"

"Well I'm sorry if I want to see my friends too"

"I'm not saying that you shouldn't, just- God, you never listen to me!" you snapped, throwing your hands to your sides

"When was the last time that we had breakfast together? Or that we went on a date, huh?"

This time he stayed silent

"exactly" you sighed "We're supposed to spend time together Pedro, for fuck's sake we're a couple!"

"Once again y/n, I have to work"

"Are you kidding me!?" you closed your fists by your side as you shut your eyes trying to calm down "Pedro have you listened to a fucking word I sai-"

What the fuck?

His lips were on yours.

"what are you doing?"

"Did you know you're really hot when you're mad?" he smirked, holding your waist

"shut up. I'm trying to have a serious conversation"

"nobody's stopping you" he murmured sultry, his mouth founding your neck.

God, you hated the whimper leaving your mouth

"A-All I'm trying to say is that you could try to be home more o-often"

"Mh-mh" he hummed against your neck, his beard scratching it ever so deliciously.

"Y-you're not-" you let out a sigh as he began sucking the skin beneath your ear "You're not listening to me"

"I am. go on" he urged, biting at your earlobe and causing a gasp to your throat.

"fuck-Pedro..." you warned

"What sweetheart?"

"I know what you're doing, t-this is not going to work"

And at that, the bastard chuckled, the vibrations of his voice going straight to your core.

"Funny you say that, baby," a wicked grin pulled at his lips as your eyes met his "'cause I think it already has"

"No it hasn't"

"no?" he whispered "Then how do you explain this?" he asked as his fingers reached the wet patch on your panties.

"God you're really..." you gritted, a mixture of anger and arousal coursing through you.

"What angel?" he ghosted your mouth "What am I?"

"you're an asshole"

A huffed laugh fled his mouth "And yet, you're gonna let me fuck you"

You bit your lip, trying to clear your mind

"We're still gonna talk later"

"Sure, sweetheart, whatever you want"

...

(I just proof-read this and I realized I might have interpreted the request kind of wrong. You meant an enemies to lovers kinda thing didn't you? If you did I'm genuinely sorry)

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iiseor · 5 months

Text

Smoke sprite | part 1

Synopsis: maybe your mother cheating on your father wasn't that bad after all.

Cw: idk... reader is described as a first year college student... (semi self insert) kinda wrote reader to be like 19 & Ellie 20 but it doesn't matter age isn't rlly mentioned

4:30pm.

"This is boring huh?" Laila said as she sat down beside you. You squinted to look at her, protecting your eyes from the beaming fire lights. "Insanely boring" you replied.

It had been three months since your life changed drastically. Your mother cheated, divorced your father, married her new boyfriend and moved you to an entirely different state within months. Everything happening so fast, it felt like you never got the opportunity to actually comprehend anything.

Despite the separation of your family, and your now resent fullness towards your mother and step father—there was one thing making it all better, your step siblings.

Laila and jay, your new brother and sister. Unlike you, they were used to having one full parent. Though, just like you, they hated that parent for nearly everything. Because of this, they became your biggest support system and resource for when you needed to get away from your mother—often taking you for drives as your mothers affair ruined your license plans.

And that's how you're here, at a stupid neighborhood fire, in the middle of fall, watching your mother live happily ever after.... despite your misery.

5:00pm.

"Me and jay are going to a party, wanna come?" Laila asked you, still sitting next to you. "Really?" You questioned. "Of course, it'll be cool, you can meet some people for once" she replied, making you laugh. "Idk... I'm kinda still getting settled, and won't our parents notice we're gone all the sudden?" You responded. "Nah, it's all good, just come let's get ready" she added, pulling you up before you could protest

The two of you spent just about a hour getting ready. As Laila figured, your parents didn't once question where you had ran off to, making it easy for you to walk right by them and drive off.

8:00pm.

"Her names y/n" laila told. "Your new girlfriend? You moved on that quick?" one of her guy friends questioned, making you nearly spit out your drink. "No wtf, my step sister idiot, ignore him" she said turning to you, "we're gonna go out and smoke wanna come?" She added.

"Oh uh... I don't smoke" you replied, making laila laugh, thinking you were being sarcastic. "Oh you're frl?" She said as she glanced at you again realizing you were serious. "Yea.... not my thing" you added. "That's alright, we'll go you have fun!" She said pulling her friend away, the faint conversation between them fading out

"You're so stupid" she said, "how was i supposed to know she was your sister" he replied.

11:56pm.

Nearly midnight, and Laila still wasn't back from her smoke session. You had spent almost a hour outside in the cold looking for her, with no luck.

Your anxiety was through the roof as you made your way to the nearest restroom, stopping to ask anyone you could if they've seen her—only getting "nah's" and crazy stares.

you burst through the bathroom door, desperately trying to turn your frozen phone back on, nearly dropping it as you fidgeted with the buttons. Girls clearing out left and right, while you tried your best to not embarrass yourself. Before you could finish trying to get yourself together, something startled you out of the breakdown.

"You good babe?" A raspy voice echoed through your ears as you turned around, your eyes mimicking a deer in the headlights. "You need a charger?" The girl questioned, moving up from against the wall and reaching for your phone. Her hands quickly gracing yours. "Your hands are freezing, run them under some hot water here" she said dragging you towards the sink.

"Do you know Laila" was the only thing you could get out, still trying to bring your breathing back to normal. "I know of her" she chuckled, "why? You her new girlfriend?" She questioned. "No god why does everyone keep saying that" you replied.

"Relax I'm just messing with you" she said. "she just... brought me here and I can't find her anywhere, my phone won't fucking turn on and I don't know how to get home it's too dark" the words spilled out of your mouth, 'it's not her problem' you thought mid ramble. "It's alright love, your hands warm enough now yea?" She laughed at your sudden shift in tone, taking out a pair of mittens from her thin jacket pocket. "Wear these outside" handing them to you. "Thanks" you said—finally making eye contact. 'Of course she has to be fine, the first time I embarrass myself here' you thought on.

"You good now tho? Sounded like you were gonna explode when you came in" she said, caressing the back of your jacket. You paused, studying her for a moment before breaking out of it—afraid she'd think you're a creep. "Yea I'm good, I was just panicking" you said now studying the floor. "You the step sister?" "Laila's new one?" She questioned, you so distracted by her presence — you hadn't even realized she started to guide you out of the washroom and back to the main room. "Hm?" She added looking over at you. "Uh yea" you replied, your tone quiet. "Yea of course she left you here, she doesn't pay attention to shit" she told, "I'll drive you so you don't have to walk in the cold, yea?" She asked. "You know where she lives?" You asked back. "Where you live? Yea" she smirked. "Give me ten, I gotta talk to some people first, sit here" she said guiding you onto a kitchen stool, as if you were incapable of thinking for yourself. "you'll be good?" She looked at you again. "Yea..." you replied. "Alright" she said patting your shoulder.

And unlike Leila, Ellie came right back. talked to some people, came back and took you striaght home as told. "Is the heat warm enough?" She asked, leaning to put her hand over the car vent. "Yea it's good" you replied. "When did you move in? With Laila... I knew her dad started dating again but I didn't know it moved that quick" she questioned. "like three months ago..." you replied, your tone quickly going quiet again as you slouched down in the seat. "You don't like him?" She asked, looking at you through her mirror. "He's fine I guess, I don't mind" you replied, "must suck tho, having to leave everything behind and move in with strangers.. especially ones your age, and having to apply to new colleges and shit, must suck bad" she ranted on, 'tell me about it' you thought to yourself.

"Sorry that was out of line" she added on, noticing your silence. "It's fine, at least someone gets it " you said unbuckling your seatbelt, the awkwardness making the time go by quick. "Let me walk you to the door, it's dark" she said getting out to quickly open the car door. "your phone" she handed to you once you reached the front entrance. "Thanks, and for driving me.. can I repay you?" You questioned, Ellie now being the one to study you. "Yea" she replied looking you up and down, "with what?" You replied, looking back at her wide eyed once again, making her laugh. "Just your number, I'll take you to a real party" she said, "Oh alright.." you hesitently replied—but hesitant enough as she had already handed you a pen and paper. "You just keep this on you at all times?" You asked, as you wrote down your number—cheeks frozen and hands cuddled up in the mittens she had given you. "Comes in handy doesn't it?" She replied, you handing her the paper and rolling your eyes. "I live down the street, it'll be nice to see you around" she added.

"Thanks.. again" you said, looking around the street behind her. "Don't mention it...you should go inside, poor face is frozen" she replied lifting her hand to caress your cheek—eyes meeting for a moment before you broke it. "Yea, it's cold... but thanks again.. see you, later?" You questioned. "Yea, I'll call you, once your phone is unfrozen" she joked, you laughing in return. "Ellie by the way" she practically yelled as she walked down the stairs from your front entrance, "y/n" you yelled back just enough for her to hear, before turning around and going inside—your freezing face not being able to contain your giddiness.

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h-c-u · 1 year

Text

Was it ever really love?

Summary: You break up with your fiancé, and right after you throw your engagement ring at him, you go to Toto's room...

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader

W/C: 6.3k

Rating: +18, age gap, size kink, dirty talk, light dom/sub, oral sex (fem receiving), squirting, edging, choking, drooling, biting, breeding kink

TWs: dubious consent in the end (the reader is so consensually fucked out that TECHNICALLY she's not in the right state to agree to anything)

A/N: I mean... So that happened. Exactly what's in the rating. You are responsible for the media you consume, so if you're not into it - please scroll away :) Oh yeah, and it's like 90% smut.

Masterlist | List of tags

- Isn't it enough that I am telling you that I've never cheated on you!? - you were sure everyone in neighboring rooms and the corridor heard what you were fighting about.

- Apparently, it's not! How can I believe you if you're always with him!? You always run to him to sign something, pass the documents, and make sure he remembers about the meetings! For fucks sake, you do that even in the middle of the night, when you're in bed with me!

- Yes, BECAUSE THAT'S MY FUCKING JOB! IT'S LITERALLY IN THE DESCRIPTION BECAUSE I'M HIS FUCKING ASSISTANT!!! - you couldn't help raising your voice, because it definitely wasn't the first time you were fighting about it.

- OH, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE THE ONE ASSISTANT NOT FUCKING THEIR BOSS!?!? - this conversation wasn't going anywhere, but neither of you was going to stop now.

- YES!!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AM TELLING YOU!!! - the stress of another lost race was getting to the both of you, and it was just too much. - Wait. Is that what it's all about!? You don't believe me, BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING YOUR OWN ASSISTANT!?!? - it suddenly hit you, and you started to connect dots in your head quicker than Sherlock Holmes. - Oh my fucking god, you are... - you had to sit down not to fall over.

- What gave you that idea? - he asked much quieter but equally angry.

- And you're not even denying it... How the fuck I could have been so fucking blind. Maybe you're right, maybe I was spending too much with him to notice that you are SUCH A FUCKING BASTARD. YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU CHOSE THE FUCKING DATE! - you stood up again and with a speed and intensity of a tornado, you started throwing your things in your bag. - YOU CHOSE THE FUCKING VENUE!!! – fortunately, you didn't have much to pack, since it was supposed to be just a weekend trip. - YOU STARTED MAKING A GUEST LIST!!! - you moved to the bathroom to get your things from there, and he didn't even try to stop you. - ALL THAT, WHILE YOU WERE FUCKING SOPHIE!?!? - he still hasn't denied that, and that was all you needed. - You know what...? - you closed the zipper of your bag with such vigor that you almost broke it. - We're fucking over, I'm done. And just so we're fucking clear - I never slept with him. Not even fucking once, you motherfucker. - it wasn't the best of your insults, but you no longer cared. You took off your engagement ring and threw it at him. - Here, give it to Sophie, I bet she'll love it since she took you second hand. - he didn't even try to stop you when you took your things and left. You were still fuming, and you honestly didn't know what you were supposed to do.

If anyone looked at you, they would be hit with a ricochet, and that wouldn't be good for anyone if you wanted to get another room in this hotel. And then it hit you. You knew exactly what you were going to do.

You marched down the corridor to the suite you were in so many times and with determination on your face, you knocked at the door. It was already late, but you knew he wouldn't be sleeping just yet, so you weren't afraid about waking him up.

- Y/n..? What do you need? - the door finally opened, and you had to look up to look Toto in the eyes.

- Funny you should ask. I need you to fuck the anger and frustration out of me. - you surprised not only him but also yourself with your boldness.

- I'm sorry, what? What about...? - he was clearly meant to ask about your now ex-fiancé, but you cut him off.

- We just broke up. - you motioned to the bag hanging currently on your arm. - So? Are you going to do it, or will I have to find someone else? - the adrenaline from the fight was still running high in your veins, that's why your voice wasn't shaking.

Instead of responding, your boss grabbed the strap of your bag and used it to pull you closer. You couldn't help but smile when you kicked the doors closed and he pushed you against it. You didn't even notice that the bag landed on the floor because he was already kissing you hungrily as his life depended on it, and you gave in... Well, at least for now.

His arms caged you against the door, which with his much taller figure meant that there was no way you could get away without him allowing you to do so. While the kiss was frantic and impatient, his other moves were much more calculated, because he put his knee in between your thighs, and started rubbing your crotch through the thick material of your jeans, but even that was enough to make you moan into his mouth, which only made him smile.

- If I knew you were such a horny pretty little thing, I would have done that much sooner... - he growled, bit your lower lip, and pulled on it, and you had no choice but to follow. And you did…

You kicked off the shoes off your feet and grabbed the front of his shirt, stopping him from moving further toward the bedroom, and while your bottom lip, was still locked in between his teeth, you aggressively sucked and bit his top lip, while reaching for his hands and putting them under your ass. You didn't have to say anything more, because he lifted you exactly when you jumped and locked your legs around his hips, which also meant that your faces were on a similar level now and he no longer had to crook his neck at the uncomfortable angle just to kiss you.

While he was walking in the direction of the bedroom, you started to unbutton your Mercedes-branded shirt, revealing a soft, see-through white bra, which left very little to the imagination. It didn't have any complicated lace pattern, but as soon as Toto saw it, he stopped kissing you and with his teeth grabbed one strap and pulled it down, and then the other, making it easier for you to take it off completely, but you knew he did that just to indulge himself because he didn't break the eye contact even for a moment and gave you a cheeky smile right after.

When the top part of your wardrobe landed somewhere on the floor, you finally moved to his. Due to the position of your hips, you couldn't unbutton it all the way, but he was already ahead of you. Sure, he could put you down, but the other option seemed much more fun, so he tossed you a bit higher into the air and moved his left arm, so now your ass was resting against his forearm, while his right was snaking under the white material. You pulled the shirt up just as his hand was on its way back to your butt cheeks. You maneuvered the material around his head and down his right arm, so he could take it off completely, and when he did, you were finally able to feel his hot skin clashing against yours. You could almost hear the blood rushing through your veins when you rubbed your whole torso against his. which got you a low growl deep from his chest.

You rested one hand on his shoulder, while the other found its way to the back of his neck, and you pulled him closer, catching his lips in yours. It was scarily easy to lose yourself in him, but right now you were far beyond caring and there was no time or space for any feelings between you two right now.

Only a few seconds passed since you kicked the doors closed, yet somehow it felt like a small eternity filled with so many sensations... The taste of his tongue on yours... His natural scent filling your nostrils and making you lightheaded... His hot skin under your fingers and against our body... His hands, kneading your ass while gently moving you up and down, forcing you to grind against him... His rough kisses leaving your lips puffed and oversensitive... It was like he knew exactly what you needed and was giving it to you without any questions.

- Be a good girl and unbutton your jeans... - he whispered in between the kisses, and you happily obliged, sliding your hands over his naked torso, until you got to the band of your trousers and undid both the button and the zipper. He slowly moved first one hand under the material and then the other, so there was another point of skin-to-skin contact, and you realized you were finally in his bedroom with his legs touching the edge of the bed.

He gently put you on the sheets; the tenderness in this move was contrasting so much with everything both of you were doing up to this point, which surprised you a bit. Especially when he slowly started pulling your pants and underwear down, kissing, licking, and biting every new patch of skin that showed up on your right leg, and it somehow turned you on even more. And when you were completely naked in front of him, he went right back up, marking every part of your other leg, until he stopped on the inside of your thigh, so close to your core.

- Are you sure you want this...? - he asked quietly, giving you one last chance to back out. And you knew that if you chose to do that, he would have never mentioned whatever just happened. But you not only wanted it… You needed it. You needed to get rid of all emotions, to forget, to throw away all the stress and anger currently bubbling under your skin.

- Yes, I am sure... And don't hold back, I need to feel anything but emotions. - you added, although based on his actions leading to this moment, you suspected you didn't need to.

- Your wish is my command... - you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the devilish grin that sprawled on his lips, but instead of being rough and messy, like he was just a few minutes ago, he started gently licking your slick from the outside part of your folds... You could feel the scratch of his unshaven five-o-clock shadow on the inside of your thigh and his warm breath just where you wished his tongue was, but he was merciless and meticulous as if he wanted to savor every little part of you. And with every lick and every gentle suck, you were getting more and more sensitive, so when he finally dove in, you were already panting, grasping the sheets in your hands, and you simply couldn't stop squirming and bucking your hips, even when he bit the inside of your thigh as a warning.

So instead of following your unpredictable moves, he wrapped his arms around your thighs in an iron grip so you weren't able to move your hips even by an inch... And he went right back down, pulling you flush against his mouth and keeping you there, no matter how hard you tried to react, to move even closer, or away from the sudden overstimulation. His tongue was circling around that sensitive bud, focusing a little bit more on the place just above it and it made your vision go white.

- Ffffuck... Just like that... Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop... - and he definitely didn't. He also didn't slow down or sped up, because he was experienced enough to realize that when a woman was telling him not to stop, it didn't mean to change anything, so he did just that until your whole body curled up. You squeezed his head with your thighs and grasped his hair with your hands so hard, that it actually hurt, but even then he didn't stop completely, licking your juices while you were trying to catch your breath, and when he felt your body relaxed in his arms, he picked up the tempo again, determined to make you forget everything but his name.

The sounds his tongue made in between your soaked folds were lewd and obscene, but you didn't have time to focus on any of that, because you could feel the second wave approaching much quicker than the first one. This time you looked down, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw his piercing dark eyes drilling into your soul with such intensity... You realized you won't be able to walk straight after the things he'll do to you, and just the thought of it was enough to push you over the peak and you couldn't help but to break the eye contact, because your eyes rolled back...

You could feel the electricity running through your body until it reached every single nerve ending, sending you into such an overstimulated state, that even the slightest touch hurt. His arms locked around your hips felt as if they were made of metal, his tongue was made of fire, his 5 o'clock shadow became rough sandpaper, the sheets under your back were made out of tiny spikes, the air in your lungs felt like steam and yet... He didn't stop. And what was more important - you didn't tell him to stop... You wanted him to pull you to the top and push you over it again, and you knew he was more than capable of doing so. And he did just that... Only this time you almost blacked out from the intensity of it, but you could still feel the release of the accumulated pressure deep inside you. You didn't process why, but you felt him chuckling against your skin, and only then you realized that he was actually swallowing your release. Which could only mean...

You almost immediately hid your face in your hands from embarrassment... It was supposed to be a quick one-night stand with your boss, an act of revenge towards your ex-fiancé. But here you were. In his bed. Squirting.

Toto finally released his grip on your hips, so you could move again, but before you were able to do anything, you felt the weight shifting on the mattress, and you could tell he was crawling up.

- Such a tasty little pussy you have there... You've been holding out on me, dear. - he said in a voice deeper than you've ever heard him use, while slowly moving your hands from your face above your head, where he held them both in only one of his, while the other found its way under your chin and forced you to look at him. - Here, see for yourself... - he growled and leaned down to kiss you. Technically you could turn your head away, and tell him to stop, but after coming three times in a row, most of your inhibitions went out of the window.

You could taste yourself on his tongue... And honestly - you were pleasantly surprised. It was a bit sour, but not overwhelmingly so, with a hint of actual sweetness. You didn't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't this. And even though the taste quickly faded away from both of your mouths, you couldn't stop kissing him, while his free hand slowly traveled down your body, taking a short stop to gently squeeze your nipples, but when you bucked away from his touch there, he stopped and pulled slightly away so he could look at you, his eyes instantly full of familiar softness.

- Are you in pain? Tell me. - he demanded, and you wanted to hide your face again, but it would be hard at the moment. He didn't know you well enough to know what your boundaries were, and he didn't want to assume anything.

- I am not in pain... - you whispered. - Well, not like that. I'm fine, I promise. It's just... They're really fucking sensitive when... - you could feel your cheeks heating up.

- When...? - he urged you to finish that sentence.

- When I'm ovulating. So, if we could skip touching them, I'd be grateful. - you wanted to end this conversation as quickly as possible, but his devilish grin told you that he already had a plan.

- No touching it is... - he echoed. - At least for now... And tell me if anything I'm going to do will be too much. - you nodded, and as soon as you did, he moved a bit lower, so his face was lined up with your breasts. He very gently blew on one of your nipples, the cold air making it slowly tense and rise, which made you blush. No one ever showed you this kind of attention, so it was completely new.

You couldn't take your eyes off your boss, who was currently letting his saliva drop from his mouth directly onto your nipple, and as soon as it touched your skin, you felt the soothing coldness, which made you rapidly suck a substantial amount of air through your nose. Just as you did that, he gently blew on your wet skin again, and you couldn't stop a soft moan that escaped your mouth.

He continued doing that to your breasts until both were covered in a cold, slick mess, and you were squirming under him, because it just felt so good... You knew it shouldn't be, but somehow, he found a way to make it hot.

- I am going to touch now, but as soon as you tell me to stop, I will. Do you understand? - he asked, and you nodded enthusiastically, hands still above your head in his iron grip. He started on the outside of your breasts, gathering what was left of his saliva, and the contrast between your cold skin and his hot tongue made you arch your back, pushing everything closer to him, in search of that sensation again.

He was using just his tongue and his lips, making sure not to accidentally scratch your skin with his cheeks or chin currently covered in a rough stubble, since you've said you were sensitive to the point of pain. Your body was asking for more in such a pretty way that he couldn't say no, so he tested the waters and very gently run his tongue directly over your nipple, and when he heard the loud, obscene moan that left your lungs... It went straight to his cock. But tonight, wasn't about him... It was all about you. And he wanted to spend time getting to know your body better; to see how it reacted to his touch, where to push, press, where to pull, and what to do to get a reaction out of you.

You didn't know that, but he thought about having you for so long... All the long evenings together, you always being so close, the white branded shirt hugging your every feature so nicely... How could he not? There were times when his fist was closed around his cock as soon as you left the room, your subtle scent still present in the air, and he honesty couldn't count how many times he thought about you in the morning, under the shower, in the garage, in his office... So many places to fuck you, but you were unavailable… A forbidden fruit hanging so low, that he could practically taste it... But you were happily in love, and even though he knew he could make you much happier than that idiot, he didn't dare to do anything. Until you fell from the tree right onto his lap, and you were all his to take, to mark, to...

He let out a low growl to stop his thoughts from galloping where they shouldn't, instead focusing on your beautiful moans while he very gently sucked on your nipples, blowing on them from time to time to soothe the pain with coldness, and never spending too much time just on one... After all - he didn't want to hurt you, just to test your boundaries. And by your reaction, he could tell that he was far away from breaking you, so he slowly moved his hand down and gently rubbed your overstimulated clit, making your back arch into his touch.

You were relaxed enough from the previous orgasms, that he could start stretching you with not one finger, but with two, dividing his attention equally between your breasts and filling you in search for this sweet spot on your front wall, and when he found it... Music to his ears...

He would have never suspected that you would be so vocal, but here you were, moaning, begging, pleading, screaming for more, and he just couldn't refuse, so he added the third finger, filling you up more. There were tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving behind light streaks of mascara that was supposed to be waterproof. Gentle pain was mixing with extreme pleasure, his soft tongue and his rough fingers, his hot body and cool air... All the extremes were colliding with you in the exact center of it all. You were ready to fall apart, just to be built up again, and as if Toto was in your head, he began to put more pressure on your clit with his thumb, and that was enough to pull another orgasm from you, and you suddenly found yourself sitting and tightly holding his head against your chest, with your face in his hair. You didn't register when exactly he let go of your wrists, but you were finally free to touch him, to feel him, and you took full advantage of that, letting your hands run over his back.

- Fuck you're good... - he didn't say anything, the smirk on his face telling you everything you needed to know, and you shook your head with disbelief because you couldn't believe the cockiness. He knew he was a confident man, but this was different... - Thank you for that... I should... - you started, but the fingers that were still inside you started slowly moving again, making a beaconing gesture against your wall, and you inhaled sharply once again.

- Oh, darling... I'm just getting started... Have you honestly thought that I will just eat you out, stick a few fingers in your pussy, and that will be it...? - he teased you, playing just the right chords on your body. - Now that I finally had you, tasted you... I'm not letting you go so easily. - if his thumb wasn't putting constant pressure on your clit and his long fingers weren't filling and stretching you so nicely, maybe you would have been able to form coherent thoughts and say something. - And it would be a shame if your pretty little cunt missed out on something else stretching it and filling you to the brim, hmmm...? - you dug your nails in his shoulders because that was all you were able to do. He was learning your body so quickly and skillfully applying that knowledge in practice.

You were a perfect mess... Panting, too exhausted to even moan, and he hasn't even properly fucked you yet. Your hair was sticking to your face, and your whole body was covered with a thin layer of sweat, which was supposed to cool you down, but the fire he lit inside you was too strong, too hot, too overwhelming... It engulfed you whole, and there was no coming back; not when you knew how he could treat you... Just before he made you cum for the fourth time, he stopped, and the needy cry that left your lips was music to his ears. It was right then and there that you realized there was no chance that you wouldn't be back for more. And he was more than willing to give you everything you needed...

- Toto... Please... - you whispered against his neck, your hands holding to his body for dear life, so desperate for him to finish what he just started, but the devilish grin on his face told you that he had other plans. He gave your body a moment co calm down just enough so his next touch wouldn't push you over the edge again, and he started to tease you once more, this time purposefully missing that sweet spot on your front wall, while his fingers were still filling you ups so nicely, the burn of stretch almost completely non-existent. His thumb was grazing your clit from time to time, just enough to keep you on the brink of orgasm, but not enough to give you the release you so desperately wanted. And he kept you in that state for so long, that all the thoughts slowly started to disappear from your head, leaving behind only flaming heat and want.

- Oh, look at you... Such a desperate little slut and just for me... I bet he never got you to that state, didn't he...? - you could only shake your head, his words barely reaching you. – You’re so cock starved that you would let me do anything with you, just to have me inside you, wouldn’t you...? - you nodded enthusiastically and tried to reach down to unbuckle his belt, but he swatted your hands away. - Tell me first... - you weren't in a state to make any decisions... When your friends told you that they sometimes felt like a feral animal in heat, you thought it was just a figure of speech, but here you were... So overstimulated yet so filled with a specific need that your thoughts weren't your own; all that mattered was getting filled. - Would you let me cum inside of you...? Fill you up so much you would be leaking for days...? - you had no control over your nodding head, but everything he was saying sounded amazing. - Put a baby in you, mark you in every way possible so everyone everywhere will know that such a perfect little cunt belongs to me? - you weren't sure if you even stopped nodding in between questions when he was peppering your neck with soft kisses that felt like butterflies made out of fire, and you could have sworn that every little kiss left behind a bright red mark, but that wasn't possible... was it...? - You truly don't know what I'm talking about, don't you...? - his devilish smirk only made you giggle. - Oh baby, we're gonna have so much fun... - he growled and finally got his fingers out of you, brought them to your mouth and you started to suck on them eagerly, chasing that newly familiar taste, while he undid his trousers with one hand and freed his cock, but you were too focused on the fingers in your mouth to even realize what just happened.

Only when you felt something smooth running slowly in between your folds, you realized that you were finally about to get what you needed. You gently bit his fingers from excitement, because you had no other way to release all the emotions bubbling under your skin, and as soon as you did that, he took the fingers out of your mouth and roughly grabbed your jaw to the point of pain. He forced you to look him in the eyes while he was slowly entering you, with your lips parted in the shape of a perfect "o".

Even though you were drenched, and he took his sweet time preparing you, there was still some pain. Not enough for you to ask him to stop, not in the state you were in, but enough for you to need a moment to adjust, which he seemed to understand because instead of moving, he leaned and placed a soft kiss on your lips, such a contrast to the words he said just a couple of minutes ago.

You wanted nothing more than to grind against him, but being pinned down under him made that difficult, although he seemed to read your thoughts, because his hand slipped down your body until it reached your knee, brought it up, and pinned it to the mattress, opening you up even more, making the burn a bit more manageable. And then he slowly started to pull out... At first, there was still that uncomfortable feeling, but as soon as the head of his cock run over that sweet spot on your front wall, your whole body twitched.

- There it is... There is my greedy little slut... - he whispered with a satisfied smile on his face. If you were able to think, you would probably wonder how the hell he managed to stay so composed while you were a leaking mess with nothing behind your eyes, but all you managed to do was moan when he entered you again, slowly picking up the pace, and moving his eyes down. - You're taking me so well, darling... Your pussy looks so beautiful all stretched out around my cock, I really wish you could see it in all its glory... - his words were entering your brain with one ear and almost immediately leaving with the other, but that didn't matter... What mattered was the fact that you were so close you could almost taste it, and every time he dragged his head in and out, he was getting you closer and closer. - One day I'm gonna fuck you in front of a mirror just so you could see up close how perfect your cunt looks with me inside you, but for now... - he moved his hand from your jaw to your hand and brought it to your abdomen, covering it with his own there. At first, you weren't sure why he did that, but then you felt it... Your skin was bulging and stretching every time he entered you; you could feel the outline of his cock and now you regretted you haven’t seen it before he started fucking you.

And then he caught your gaze, and put more pressure on your hand, and by extension - himself and this simple thing were enough to send you rushing in the arms of another release, while he was holding your hand in one place with an iron grip. He didn't even slow down when you squirted again, wetting the bedding and his trousers with your release, he just pushed and pushed, and pushed, until you had nothing else to give, and yet he still managed to take even more.

He changed the positions a little bit, wrapping his arms under your shoulders to find more leverage, and started hammering into you at a brutal pace, while you were still high on your last orgasm, and you weren't even able to form even a simple "please". With your walls still spasming around him, it didn't take him long to finish, and when he did, he pushed deep into you, holding you in an iron grip, so there was no chance you could escape even if you wanted to. He harshly bit the place where your shoulder met your neck, leaving behind a mark that would definitely bruise soon, and just as he did that, you could actually feel his warm cum spraying against your wall, which ticked just a little, but that was the last thing on your mind.

He was still panting when you moved your hand to his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. No words needed...

Eventually, he turned around, pulling you on top of him, careful not to slip out of you... His arms were wrapped tightly around you, keeping you in place, while your legs were spread around his hips.

Slowly but surely, your brain started to become your own again… You placed your hands under your chin and started thinking about the consequences of what just happened.

- Toto...? - you eventually said, your voice deep, raspy, and almost broken from all the moaning, screaming, and crying.

- Hmmm? - he asked, not even looking at you, but his thumbs started gently caressing your skin.

- Do you really want a kid? - he raised his head and looked at you with his eyes barely open.

- Not just any kid... - he replied. - I want you to bring our child into this world. And I don't want to stop just on one... - he smirked, and you smiled in reply. He knew that about a year ago you tried to get pregnant with your fiancé, and how excited you were to be a mum. A few times he was the one to actually drive you to your appointments, but even though everything was ok with you, you never managed to get pregnant with your now ex, which - from today's perspective - was more than fine.

- Then we better make sure it will take... - you knew this was crazy, but you actively chose not to think about it too much, which wasn't that hard with Toto's hands gently turning you around, switching your position and moving both of you from the wet patch of your doing, so both of you were on your side with your back pressed tightly against his torso. He finally kicked his damp pants off completely, so both of you were naked.

Even before he started slowly grinding against you, he was already growing inside you, which was a sensation you’d never felt before. You could feel your juices mixed with his release slowly dripping out of you and around him, but he did his best to fuck it right back into you. His left hand was on your abdomen, so he could feel himself through your skin, and he gently wrapped his right around your neck, putting a small amount of pressure. Not enough to cut either air or blood supply, but enough so you could be always aware of its heavy weight there.

This time he moved much slower, savoring every feeling, and focusing more on himself than on you, but you honestly didn't mind. Even though your thoughts were much more coherent there were still stumbling in that pleasant fog filling your mind. You moved your hands to cover his because you needed to hold onto something, and it seemed like the most logical option to not let go of reality because everything felt like a perfect dream. His moves were hitting all the right spots, forcing the air out of your lungs, the warmth of his breath pleasantly hugged your neck, where he put his head, while your own was currently resting on his shoulder, your lips so close to each other, that one turn from either of you would be enough for a kiss.

His movements were sloppy and irregular… You weren't able to predict when his hips snap again and the tip of his cock would grind against your g-spot, so you couldn't prepare for it and all you could do was react to whatever he was doing to you. This time both of you were much quieter... No loud moans, no screams, no desperate cries, it was much more... intimate - with barely audible whimpers, deep breaths, and unspoken pleads and promises.

It took him a while to widen his movements so more of him was leaving your body, which made you hook your feet behind his calf in involuntary reaction because you honestly didn't know what you wanted or needed to do. You just didn't want this moment to stop...

You finally turned your head and caught his lips in a messy kiss, while his movements quickened, and his fingers put more pressure on both your abdomen and the artery in your neck, slowly restricting the oxygen supply to your brain, making it even harder to think, but in the end... wasn't it exactly what you asked for...?

You weren't sure if he was able to manipulate your body to that degree or control his own so well, but he squeezed your throat harder and pushed on your lower abdomen at the same time he reached his peak, so the two of you came in the exact same time. As soon as you felt your walls spasming around him, he released the grip he had on your throat, allowing a fresh dose of oxygen to flood your brain, making your orgasm much stronger. You felt the muscles in your legs tense up, and your hips pushed back, taking his cock even deeper. Your back so hard, that he actually had to use his muscles to hold you in place...

And then you collapsed in his arms while he held you flush against his body, gently rubbing your abdomen with his fingers, like he was trying to ascertain if he was able to already get you pregnant. Logically he knew it wasn't possible to tell that fast, but it didn't stop him from imagining a new life already growing inside you, the mere thought of it making his cock twitch.

When you finally came down from cloud nine, you reached back and put your hand on his neck and pulled him into a sloppy kiss, trying to turn around, but he didn't let you, because he didn't want to risk even a drop of his cum leaking out of you.

- You did so well... - he whispered straight into your ear. - Your pussy took me so perfectly that nothing in the world could compare, and I'm never letting you go... From now on - you're mine. Do you understand? - the growl in his voice should scare you because even so fucked out you could tell that there was something dangerous behind it, but somehow... His claim on you made you feel... safe. So instead, you smiled and nodded in reply, and he started to leave deep red hickeys anywhere his mouth could reach in that position.

Your whole life had just changed...

And you couldn't help but love it.

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :)

Love,

#my writing #Toto Wolff fanfiction #Toto Wolff smut #Toto Wolff x reader #🖤#🐇#🔇#🥪#💋#⛔#😛#🎤#📏#🔥

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starogeorgina · 3 months

Text

𝐑𝐮𝐧

Paring: Joel Miller × reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions SA, violence, vomit

1.03

“D’ya hear me?”

The sun was beating down, making all three of you sweat like pigs. You lick at your dry lips before responding, “No, I didn’t hear you.”

“It doesn’t matter; it wasn’t important.” Joel straightens up his posture and looks down at you, worried. You’d been silently sitting by the side of the road for some time, arms clutching at your knees. He offers you his hand and says, “We're moving out.”

Automatically, you push up from the ground and wipe the dirt and sand off your trousers. It’s not until you do so that you realize Joel’s hand is still outstretched. Joel had been struggling with knowing how to comfort you and Ellie; for you, the slightest touch could bring the feeling of your throat being squeezed and your arms and legs being pinned back. And Ellie had lost some of her light due to the trauma she had been through.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“Don’t be,” he says quietly. Joel glances back at Ellie, who is sitting on the back of a truck, swinging her feet back and forth. “I’m worried about you, both of you.”

“I’m fine.”

He sighs. “Look, you don’t need to tell me what happened, but I’m always here if you ever decide you want to.”

You did want to tell him, but you were afraid you’d break if you said the things those men tried to do to you out loud.

Joel picks your backpack up off the ground and shakes it off before handing it to you. “Come on, let’s go.”

—

Cautiously, you follow closely behind Joel as he leads you and Ellie into another run-down building covered with rumbles. The hospital you were looking for wasn’t too much further away, and the idea was to get to higher ground to see what direction was best to go in.

“It looks as if some kind of construction work started here before the world went to hell.” You stare up at a ledge leading to the next floor. “If one of us goes up, they can pass the ladder down.”

“Ellie, I’ll give you a boost.”

When Ellie doesn’t respond, you go over to her and say, “Hey, are you alright?”

She says nothing but continues to flip the blank pages of a book. The paper had changed color due to elements around it, making it change to an almost skin-like color. Imagine the things you saw while being held captive flooding your minds. You quickly pull your hair out of your face and vomit.

“Oh shit.”

“Ellie, go over to Joel.”

She remains standing beside you while Joel watches from a safe distance. People getting too close while you felt like this only made things worse.

“Go, now,” you say sternly, not wanting her to see you like this.

“Okay, bossy boots.”

The hope that Ellie didn’t see what you saw when you looked at the paper made you feel a little better. Tears spring to your eyes while you take deep breaths, trying to stop yourself from vomiting again. You stay like this until you hear a loud clattering noise from behind you and turn to see the ladder landing on the ground beside Joel.

“God damn it, Ellie!” He picks the ladder up and says, “Shit.”

“Where did she go?”

“I don’t know; she dropped the ladder and ran off.”

You practically snatch the ladders, throw them into place, and start climbing them without checking if they are secure. When it wobbles, Joel grips either side of the ladder or holds it in place and says, “It's fine, I’ve got you.”

“I’ve got you; you’re safe.”

You finish climbing up. “Ellie, stay there!”

“Come on, you gotta see this.”

You both take after her; being faster than Joel, you reach where Ellie ran first and freeze on the spot. “Oh, my god,” you smile. “Oh my god, I never thought I’d see one in the wild.”

“It’s so cool.”

You didn’t know what was more beautiful: seeing a giraffe in the wild or the way Ellie’s eyes lit up at seeing one for the first time.

“What the—” Joel stops running and stands beside you.

You look down between you and briefly flinch when your hands brush together, but Joel seems oblivious. He slowly steps forward, breaks off a few branches covered in green leaves, and hands them to Ellie so she can feed the giraffe.

The giggle that she lets out causes tears of happiness to fall from your eyes. You had convinced yourself that Ellie was just as broken as you were, but she wasn’t. Seeing her happy and laughing reminded you that everything you did was worth it to save her.

When the giraffe finishes eating, it starts to walk off in a different direction, out of sight. Excitedly, Ellie starts to follow it along the roof of the building. “Was she going? Come on.”

Joel offers you his hand, but this time with a small smile on his face. “It’s okay if you say no, but I promise in time... You’ll heal, never fully, but things do get better.”

“You know better than to say shit like that.” Your eyes gloss over, but you managed to hold the tears back. “We better keep an eye on the kid; otherwise, she might decide to just stay here instead.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

“That’s for her to decide, not us.”

—

The view from where you stood now was amazing; there were multiple animals, including a family of giraffes, living in an area that seemed to have been affected. The animals had healthy green grass to graze on, which itself was breathtaking. You remain silent while observing the beautiful view while Joel tries to have a serious conversation with Ellie.

“Look, I don’t know exactly where this hospital is,” he starts.

“Yeah, we’ll find it.”

“Sure. It’s just... maybe there’s nothin bad out there, but so far there’s always been something bad out there.”

Ellie shrugs. “We’re still here, though.”

“I know. I’m only saying there's a risk.”

After watching Joel struggle to ask what he wanted to ask for a few moments, you insert yourself into the conversation and say, “El, we can just turn around and go back to Tommy’s. You don’t owe the fireflies anything; we don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.”

“After everything we’ve done and everything we’ve been through, turning back now would mean it was all for nothing.” Her eyes are solely on Joel. “Once the fireflies have what they want, we can go wherever you want. Tommy’s, a sheep ranch, the moon. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

—

You make it down the opposite side of the building, back out onto the street without incident, and walk into a deserted medical camp site.

You peek a quick glance into some of the tents, careful not to touch anything but to observe enough to see if there’s anything worth taking left. Since it was a camp run by the army, you doubted it but thought you’d at least try.

Joel kept glancing over to you, so thinking he was wanting you to hurry up, you stop looking and make your way to them while trying to count how many tents there are. You lose count when you reach twelve. Joel sits down on a wall that is hip level with him and starts to tell you and Ellie about his experience in a similar camp after Sarah had died.

“Oh yeah, the guy that shot and missed,” you say, looking down at the ground, not wanting to stare at the scar left behind. You always wanted to know if it was that blast that left him partially deaf, but thought it was far too rude a question to ask.

“It was me. I was the guy who shot and missed.”

You almost gasp at his confession. Even though Joel had endured years of trauma, you were still shocked to learn that he attempted suicide.

“There’s no story. Sarah died, and I couldn’t see the point anymore. Simple as that. And I wasn’t scared either; I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. WhenI—” his voice starts to shake with raw emotion, something that was unusual for Joel. “When I went to pull the trigger, I flinched. I still don’t know why. Anyway, the reason I’m saying all this—”

Ellie interrupts him. “I know why you’re telling us this.”

“Yeah, I reckon you do.”

“So time heals all wounds, I guess.”

“It wasn’t time that did it,” he says.

The fatherly love that kept Joel fighting at the start of the apocalypse was lost the day Sarah died, but his mission to ship ‘cargo’ for the fireflies reignited that same love, but this time it was for Ellie. His love for her healed him.

To lighten the mood when you start walking again. Joel says, “You know what I’m in the mood for? Shitty puns.”

Delighted that she can read more of the puns from the book she found, Ellie happily retrieves it from her backpack. You smile while listening to them go back and forth over the terrible puns.

Hearing a metallic clanging noise coming from behind, you turn back, except to see a bird or different animal, and are shocked to see a man dressed in camouflage pointing his gun in your direction. Before you can say anything, Joel grabs you and Ellie and tries to shield you from the smoke.

Seconds later, everything goes back.

—

“Did Joel do this to you?”

“Fuck you.”

Marlene tilts her head and gives you a sympathetic look. Without so many layers of clothing on, the cuts and bruises covering your body were much easier to see. She goes to inspect one of the larger cuts on your bare arm, but you snatch your arms back and shuffle further back in the hospital bed until your back hits the wall. You had no memory of being brought inside, but it doesn’t bode well that the three of you had been split up.

“I never noticed these types of injuries on Ellie.” She crouches down to be level with you. “What happened? You get on Miller's bad side?”

If it wasn’t for fabric bounding your hands together, you would have swung for her. You grit your teeth. “Joel would never hurt me.”

“Are you sure about that?” She asks in a condescending tone.

“He risked his life saving me and Ellie. I’m fucking sure of it.”

“Good,” she smiles and stands again. “That means you’ll be useful to us after all.”

—

One of the men grabs you by the arm and roughly drags you out of the cubicle and down a filthy hospital hallway. Splatters of dried blood and dirt covered the floor and walls, but the smell of strong cleaning fluids caused your nose to run. You hear Marlene before you see her; she is telling Joel that Ellie is going to die.

Fucking fireflies, you were a fool for ever trusting them.

When you reach the cubicle Joel’s in, the man digs his foot into the back of your knee cap, causing your leg to buckle, making it easier for him to force you to your knees.

“What’s this?” Joel barks.

“Insurance,” Marlene says. “If you don’t go quietly, then we’ll have no choice but to kill her.”

Your eyes sting with tears when you meet Joel’s dark eyes. He lacked color, like he was about to throw up; he always looked like this when he was ill. You wouldn’t have been mad if he still fought like hell to get to Ellie, even if it meant losing you.

“Walk them out to the highway; leave them there with their packs.” Marlene hands one of the men Ellie’s pocket knives and says, “Give him this. He tries anything—shoot the girl, then shoot him.”

—

Guns pointed at your back, and you were pushed to a stairwell. You weren’t allowed to speak to anyone until you were at the highway, but all you needed was one look from Joel to know what he was planning.

When one of the men pushes your back to get you to move faster, you use it to your advantage and let out a small cry, “Don’t touch me.”

Rolling his eyes, he pushes again.

You freeze on the steps. “Stop fucking touching me!”

With the men momentarily distracted by your yelling, Joel takes the opportunity, hits the man closest to him, and takes his gun, then shoots him and the man beside you in the head. He takes the weapons from their bodies, including Ellie’s knife, and when he reaches you, he cups your face.

“There’s only a few bullets left; don’t shoot unless necessary,” he says, putting a gun in your free hand. “Stay close behind me, and soon as we find Ellie, you grab her and run.”

Joel kills multiple people without hesitation by either shooting or stabbing them. You never had the stomach for violence, but it was killed or be killed. All the fireflies and soldiers wouldn’t think twice before putting a bullet between your eyes.

When you reach the pediatric surgery unit, you start to speed up, but Joel holds you back, keeping you behind him. “Stay close,” he whispers. “Whatever happens next, Ellie is the priority; even if I fall, you keep going. You run and don’t look back.”

You both crouch down to walk underneath frosted windows and speak in a hushed voice. “Joel… Uh, you and Ellie are the best things that have happened to me in a long time.”

His lips are parted slightly when he turns back to look at you. “I know, and Ellie wasn’t the only one who healed me.”

You’re silent until you find Ellie knocked out on a hospital bed. She and her nurses and doctor surround her just as they are about to start surgery.

Joel pushes the door open, “unhooking her.”

The surgeon picks up a blade, and Joel shoots him in the head.

You repeat his words, “Unhook her.”

The nurses unhook her, and on Joel’s order, turn to face the wall. You pick Ellie up and are surprised by how weightless she feels.

—

You manage to make it to the elevator and to the underground parking garage. Joel points out a vehicle that still works. “Go, go, go.”

Just as you approach it, Marlene appears and aims her gun at Joel. “You can’t keep her safe forever. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she's going to grow up, Joel. And then you’ll die, and she’ll leave. Then what?”

You slowly reach for your gun, which is hidden by Ellie’s oversized hospital gown hanging down, and click the safety off.

“How long till she’s torn apart by being infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that you could have saved.”

“Maybe.” His voice is cold. “But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you. What would she decide?”

“She’s just a girl,” you say. “You can’t kill a child and say it’s in the name of science.”

“Would Ellie see it that way? I think you both know if she knew all the facts, Ellie would volunteer to sacrifice herself for the greater good.”

You kiss Ellie on the forehead and mumble, “I’m sorry.”

Joel’s eyes widen when you move quickly, raising your gun and pulling the trigger. When Marlene falls to the ground, you walk away, and Ellie is in the backseat of the vehicle.

—

“It’s alright, you’re with us; take it slow,” Joel says when Ellie starts to wake up. “The drugs are still wearing off.”

Her voice is groggy as she struggles to fully wake up. “I was with the fireflies, and then... what drugs?”

“They were running some tests on you—ones that they needed you asleep for,” you say quickly.

“They did tests on others as well,” Joel lies. “It turns out there’s a whole lot more like you. People who are immune. There are dozens of them. And the doctors couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually stopped looking for a cure.”

You watched Ellie’s face in the reflection of the mirror and could tell she didn’t believe anything she was hearing. You and Joel had already discussed that telling her the truth wasn’t a good idea. It was better to lie than for Ellie to know all those people died to save her.

A parent's love knows no bounds.

“Where are my clothes?” She asks, confused, why she’s still in a hospital gown.

“The hospital was overrun by raiders; we didn’t have time to find your clothes or my jacket.” You gulp down, “Joel only just managed to get us out in time.”

“Where people hurt?”

“Yes,” he says bluntly.

“What about Marlene?”

When neither of you answer, Ellie turns to face the other way, curling into herself while trying to fall back asleep.

—

After checking the bathroom of what was a functional gas station, it was clear that you should wait outside with Joel while Ellie gets changed into clothes that you found for her.

You lean back against the car door. “I can feel you staring.”

“I was going to say you look cold, but you’ll just tell me you’re not.”

“My arms aren’t cold, just sore,” you admit. The flesh of your arms is decorated by bruises in different stages of healing.

“I found these,” he says, holding up a brown leather jacket and a red zip-up jumper. “Just in case you ever start to feel cold.”

You take the jacket from him and say, “Thank you; it will at least hide these. I feel bad that Ellie can see them; it’s just a constant reminder for her.”

“And you,” he says softly. “I don’t know what happened inside that building, but from what Ellie told me... It won’t be easy for either of you to forget.”

You zip the jacket up, enjoying the comfort and secureness you felt from your arms now being covered. You sigh, “The first man I killed in that place was called James. He told me I was lucky, chosen that instead of killing me, they would take turns trying to get me pregnant, and that’s what they did with most women they took in.”

Maybe it was the fact that Joel made you feel safe, or everything that happened with Ellie and the fireflies, but you no longer felt terrified to talk about what happened.

“What did they do with the others?” He asks.

You chew on your bottom lips before answering, “Kill them, then eat them.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“No kidding,” you finally meet his gaze. There were no traces of judgment in his eyes, only compassion. “Three men came into the room. They untied me and dragged me on top of a metal table, and two of them pinned me down by my arms. I waited until James had pulled his cock out and kicked him between the legs. They bit one of them, grabbed the knife from the table, and... I just started stabbing and cutting them.”

“We’ve all done some pretty bad shit to survive.”

“I stabbed James in the dick. I thought I'd be every woman they must have raped, and something in me just snapped.”

Joel moves closer to you, but not close enough to make you uncomfortable. “I those men weren’t already dead…”

“I know, but they are. All we can do now is try our best to keep all this shit away from Ellie.”

“When we get to Tommy’s community in Jackson, I want us to live together.”

You chuckle. “I just assumed we would be.”

You’re taken aback by how nervous he looks, his foot kicking at the dirt below. “I mean, live together as a real couple, that sort of thing.”

You smile up at him and say, “I think we can make that work.”

—

Your legs ache, and a five-hour hike up a hill wasn’t easy with the feeling of exhaustion weighing you down.

“You know, Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time,” Joel smiles. “I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of mosquitoes and such, but she was a big climber or scamper. That’s probably the right word. That girl, she’d see a big rock and just go.”

He turns back to face Ellie and says, “She would have liked you. Not to say the two of you are the same. Differently different kids.”

“How so?” She asks.

“Well, she was a lot more, I wanna say girly. And I’m not saying you’re not girly.”

You snort, “El is the exact opposite of girly.”

“I’m really not girly.”

“Yeah, you’re not.” Joel’s arms sway slightly as he relaxes his shoulders. “So that, and Sarah was taller. She had a killer smile, again not saying you don’t. But you know why I think she’d like you?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh. Anyway, I bet you would have liked her back.”

“Yeah, I bet I would’ve.”

You reach the top of the hill, which looks down on your new home. “Not much further now.”

“Hey, wait,” Ellie says. “Fuck. Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone. When I got bit in the mall, I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there; she got a bit too. We didn’t know what to do, and she says, ‘We can just wait it out, be all poetic, and just lose our minds together.’ And then she did, and I had to…”

You let Ellie hold your hand as she started to choke up.

“Her name was Riley, and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam.”

“Those deaths aren’t on you; none of them are.”

Joel nods in agreement. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. You can feel like you’ve come to an end and you don’t know what to do next, but if you just keep going, you’ll find something new to fight for. And maybe that’s not what—”

“Swear to me,” she says, looking between you and Joel with fierceness in her eyes. “Swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true.”

Immediately, Joel says, “I swear.”

“It’s true, kid.”

“Okay,” she nods. “Just one more thing, when are you going to cut this longing romance shit out and admit you are together?”

You and Joel share a look and a smile.

#the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller/you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller the last of us #the last of us x you #the last of us x reader #joel the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #run

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fairlyang · 4 months

Text

Greedy 🏹

passenger princess kate

w/c: 885

pairing: kate bishop x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. teasing, sassy & impatient kate, fingering, kinda voyuerism

——

"Isn't it funny with how differently we're dressed and the one between us that looks like she should be able to drive, can't." You joke looking over at Kate as you drive to the mall.

"No I don't actually." She says and pretends to look annoyed.

You were dressed more feminine-like while Kate wore more masculine clothes. And you've found this little fact a bit funny especially when she first asked you out on a date but couldn't pick you up because she couldn't drive to your house.

She somehow made it to your house but she never revealed how.

That didn't matter but what did matter was the way Kate was manspreading on your passenger seat.

How she managed to look so hot on the passenger seat is beyond you but you were so happy to have such a fine ass girlfriend.

You then came up with a silly little idea and decided to go for it. You continue driving as normal, looking straight at the road and move your right hand off the steering wheel and lean over to put it on Kate's thigh.

Your left hand it on the middle of the steering wheel, keeping you straight, meanwhile your right gently squeezes her left thigh. She shifts in her seat and you kept a poker face for the most part.

Unfortunately she was wearing pants, and a whole ass jacket but that could be a very easy fix.

If she really wanted to that is....

You trail your fingers along her thigh, softly from the middle and then towards the inner thigh until she's full on squirming. You bite your lip and look at your peripheral to see her little reactions.

She was biting her lip and already breathing heavily. You'd only just started too.

Well you might as well go big.

"Spread your legs for me Katie." You asked sweetly finally stopping at a red light and she does without a second thought.

"You're fucking crazy." She mutters under her breath and you just shrug, turning to her to give her a grin.

"You love it." You say and move your hand to rub her pussy over her pants.

She gasps and bucks her hips up making you chuckle, "needy much?"

"Shut up." She groans and you continue rubbing her, now a little faster so she can feel some tension.

She then moans and grabs your arm, pulling it down even more. You rub a little hard and go up to rub her clit because you have a feeling it'll feel good.

She moans louder and bucks her hips up making you chuckle, "feel good?"

She doesn't answer and instead grinds on your fingers. You pull away making her pout before trying to undo her pants but unable to do it. The light turns green and you start driving again.

Kate unbuttons her pants then unzips them and for good measure lifts her jacket up so it wouldn't be in the way. Then also pulled her pants down a little.

"That was fast..." you tease and she groans before grabbing your hand and leading you towards her pussy.

"So needy." You mumble and already feel her wetness seep through her boxers.

She bucks her hips up again for more friction making a smirk appear on your lips. "And greedy."

She groans and you tut, shaking your head before moving your hand and finding the convenient hole. Your fingers move through the fabric before finally your fingers rub against her drenched folds. "Holy fuck." You moan and sneak a glance at her when luckily the light turned red.

"Baby you're so fucking wet." You mutter and collect all her wetness with the tips of your fingers before going up and rubbing her clit in slow circles.

"You tease-" she whines and you nod.

"Not nice to be on the other foot now huh?" You tease and she sighs.

But you felt nice and decided to no longer tease and go down to her entrance and only tease it for a solid two fingers before slowly slipping two fingers in. "How's that baby?" You ask looking at her for a second before looking back at the road.

"Oh fuck-" she moans and you could feel her clench against your digits.

"Oh my god just like that." She moans and you continue your same pace, not too fast or slow.

Then another idea occurred and right as the red light hit you slowed down. She whined and you smiled, "gotta be patient baby, the lights red."

"Fuck the lights just please fuck me." She pleads and you turn to her, shaking your head.

"Don't think so Katie." You say and give her a fake frown making her whimper.

You slipped your fingers deep inside and just kept them there, feeling her clench every few seconds.

Then the light turned green and without a second thought you started fucking her harder and faster. "SHIT!" She cried out and laid her head back against her headrest.

"Fuck-! Fuck yes please." She moans out and out of your peripheral can see she closed her eyes.

She looked so fucking gorgeous.

The sound of her sopping pussy filled the car and she started shaking. "I'm gonna-"

"Cum for me pretty baby." You coo and she does, hard.

#Kate bishop #kate bishop smut #lesbian #wlw #sapphic #bisexual #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x female reader

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cherrythepuppet · 3 months

Text

The Harvest

Mob au @//Clownsuu

Grover @trashcanplant

Vince @cloudy-dreams

TW: dead deer

CLOUDY YOUR BOY IS TERRIFYING

Penny sat on the ground outside playing in the leaves with Poppy's supervision "Be careful!" Poppy exclaimed while Penny stopped herself form eating a leaf

She could hear some crunching from other footsteps then she heard Poppy talking with someone but Penny didn't care enough to listen

"Penny?" Someone behind her asked, She turned around and blinked looking up to see Wally "Hi" Penny said "Hello to you to Penny" Wally replied

"Care to go for a little walk? I'm afraid I have something to ask of you" He added to which Penny stood up and brushed any leaves or dirt off the bottom of her dress

"You have no proof of me hitting Antoni with the frying pan" Penny told him causing Wally to go 'Ha Ha Ha'

"Oh Penny, I watched you hit him" He mumbled "But that isn't why we're talking. I need you to go tell Grover something" He explained

"Oh, Yeah sure! I like talking to Grover even if he-" Penny paused "Where are we again?" She asked "Oh dear, Your memory must be acting up" Wally sighed

"Come along then. We should get you inside" Wally muttered before he began to walk back inside with Penny following

When the two went back inside Wally went to office to wait for Penny who was in her room looking for a coat

yet all she found was a Boa She put it on her shoulders figuring it would work as a coat so after that she went to Wally's office where she sorta zoned out until he told her to tell Grover to "Feed him"

"Oki Doki" Penny replied then she left looking around for Grover until she found him at the bar, Penny looked over to Howdy

Howdy sighed then walked over to Penny and helped her on the barstool before He walks back behind the bar Penny was kicking her legs slightly until Grover looked over to her Ugh… what do you want.” He grumbled while putting back another cup

Grover let Howdy finish pouring him a anothee one then he turned back to Penny "Hi" Penny grinned spinning around in the barstool

She looked over to Howdy who nodded and began preparing a Shirley Temple "Doesn't answear my question" Grover sighed

"Well scareycrow-" "Not my name"

Penny glared at him "Well anyway, Boss wanted me to tell you to 'Feed Him' whatever that means. Sounded like third person too? Is he gonna start talking like that now?" Penny trailed off

She was fidgeting with her gloves to even notice that Grover had stood up "Where are you going?" She asked grabbing her drink Howdy finished making

"Out" Grover replied "Out? But Antoni..." Penny muttered to herself trying to remember "Your not allowed out thought, Boss said-" She was cut off

"Boss told me that I need to go when he gives the word" Grover told her before turning to look at the sky listening for something "Where the fuck are those birds..” He frowned

Penny hopped off the barstool after finishing her drink and walked over to Him then saw two birds outside "Oooh! I've seen those birds before!" She exclaimed

Grover ignored her before he turned to her "Yer' helping me make a delivery" He said then he grabbed her arm and dragged her to one of the cars

However Penny didn't like this and tried biting him "Hey! Let go of me you overgrown weed!" Penny shouted struggling to free herself

"You help me with this delivery and I'll get ya whatever yer' werid ass wants" Grover replied as he opened the car door and tossed her into the passenger seat

"Fine... Your taking me to the candy shop in the middle of town" She mumbled fidgeting with her pearl bracelets Grover gets into the driver's seat and starts up the car then He began driving to God knows where

Penny stared out the window Watching the lights from the city slowly disappear almost falling asleep with how peaceful everything was away from the city too

But then the car stopped and Penny hit her head "Ow..." She frowned while she saw Griver get out and go to the bed of the truck

Penny unbuckled her seatbelt and got out walking over to him, Something smelled disgusting and she heard a squelch sound

When she saw what the disgusting thing was she saw a ripped in half deer causing her to scream which alerted a few birds

Grover put his glove over her mouth "Shut the fuck up. Vince doesn't like noise" He warned, Penny nodded shivering slightly

Griver removed his glove "Grab the back" He demanded but Penny didn't do anything for a moment, Sure she liked gore but with people! Not animals

"Penny" Grover snapped his fingers snapping her out of her trance "Wha- sorry..." She whispered before reaching down to carry her weight

Grover leaned all the way down and walkes backwards into the trees while Penny was trying to direct him in the dim light

But He was pricked by several brambles and stabbed with sticks Making her giggle slightly

The pair passed the tree line and entered the clearing, Penny looked around and to her she felt like she was walking into the world’s most terrifying sculpture park as the figures were all in the midst of fleeing

To the untrained eye it would look like wood carvings which Penny thought at first but the way that the flies landed on them

How branches grew from the eye sockets and mouths of these people made it obvious that they weren't just sculptures

Grover and Penny continued to carry the deer with the sound of sticks crunching under their shoes until the two approached the center of the field and Grover dropped the deer

He looked around at the stillness, searching for something in the trees as Penny backed away from the deer feeling uncomfortable

She looked around while holding her arms close to her chest as a form of warmth, She thought she saw one of the bodies still breathing"Griver-" Penny paused as Grover whistled then took a step away from the deer

"Watch 'em feast" Grover chuckled Several birds came down and flocked onto the deer carcass, Grover laughed while Penny looked away in disgust

But when she turned over to her shoulder she saw a large hunched back figure with dark eyes and long mouth

Penny screamed and grabbed onto to Grover making him look down at her, Grover looked up and saw Vince in the darkness reaching a hand out for Penny

Grover swatted his hand away “No, Vince" He told him "I getcha real hungry to have someone new join but not her. She’s family.” He added

Grover stared at Vince before Vince opened his mouth muttered something in a tone that terrified Penny more then the deer carcass

“Look, how about next time I bring one here fer ya I’ll letcha do yer tree thing and all that" Grover said "I like them screams too, gotta admit..” Grover chuckled

Vince laughed a raspy laugh, not saying a word while staring at Penny who was doing anything but looking at Vince

Grover looked down at her again. “Her names Penny. I needed an extra set a hands pullin’ the deer" Grover added

Penny looked at Vince for just a breif moment and made a small wave to be polite "I know ya like a bit of a scaredy cat, but I got in trouble when I brought Poppy out here" Grover was the only really speaking

But then Penny spoke up "Poppy was out here?" She asked to which Grover nodded "You remember her, Vince? Real tall bird broad?” Grover asked

Penny seemed to relax just a tiny bit at the mention of Poppy yet she kept a grip on Grover’s pants hoping He would take her home soon

Vince didn't respond instead he reached out a finger to graze against Penny’s skin but then Grover grabbed Vince's hand, holding his gloved hand tightly

“I’ll see what I can fix up fer ya, But not her. Not her.” Grover told him as the crows behind him cawed after they finished their feast and flew back into the trees

Everything was silent again, only thing to be heard was Vince’s ragged breathing. Penny looked up at Grover, then at Vince

“Do ya need help spreading the bones across the field?” Grover asked before be gave Penny a little pat in the head as a way of telling her to head back to the truck

Penny instnatly began to walk away, She got into the truck and took in a deep breath "I don't wanna ever come here again..." She mumbled to herself

As the time passed Penny fell asleep with her head resting against the Window unaware of a small leaf sprouting from under her Opera Gloves...

#welcome home #welcome home oc #welcome home au #penny peaches #wally darling #fanfic #welcome home mob au #mob au #Grover haymaker #mob penny peaches #mob grover haymaker #mob wally darling #vince vineyard #Mob Vince vineyard #welcome home poppy #CLOUDY I FELT FEAR WRITING FOR VINCE WTF

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depravitycentral · 9 months

Text

yandere! Daichi Sawamura x fem! reader

Tw: mentions of kidnapping, exhibitionism, abuse of Daichi's cop privileges and access to cop cars, Stockholm syndrome, Daichi convinces you that he treats you well, fem reader, MDNI

Thinking of how Daichi Sawamura, in a moment of weakness, bends to your relentless requests to let you go outside - outside, into the scary, horrible world.

It's an abuse of his power and he knows it, but he's got the cop car already in the driveway of his modest home, the windows dark and tinted and the SUV large and roomy.

Maybe this'll get you to stop complaining - it might be good for you. It's what you want, after all - or, at least, a version of it.

You're so excited as you strap yourself into the back seat (not the passenger seat - he doesn't want anyone to see you, and the back seat windows are dark and more opaque anyways). Your eagerness is palpable; it makes Daichi's palms sweat, his trousers already feeling a little tight.

The park is close by - not too populated at a time at night like this, thankfully, but still a few people loitering around here and there. It's not dark out yet, but the sun is setting, casting a light that he finds romantic and perfect for what's about to happen.

He parks the car and turns back to you, licking his lips and getting this look, one that makes you nervous, yet it also sets off a feeling of warmth between your legs because you know that look. You know it means you're about to get fucked so hard you won't be able to walk tomorrow, and as he crawls back into the backseat with you, your suspicious are already confirmed.

In a manner of seconds he's got you on your hands and knees, face pressed right up close to the window, his eager hands already grabbing at the hem of your shorts and tugging them down, your panties going with them.

He's already naked and he's already hard - his cock is heavy as he presses it against you, his chest resting on your back as he leans over you, a hand grasping at your chin to turn you to face him.

We're outside, honey, just like you wanted. And look - isn't the sunset so pretty?

You nod, a little confused, but Daichi takes it in stride.

You know what's even prettier, though, is how you look when you fall apart for me. Daichi's voice gets low, and his grip on your chin gets tighter. Let's show all these people in the park just how fucking gorgeous you look when you're moaning my name, huh? But don't worry, love, they can't see you, so feel free to get as loud as you want.

He sucks in a breath. In fact, I want you to be as loud as you can.

And with that he's shimmying apart your legs, one hand guiding him inside you while the other works at your clit, trying to get you loosened up for him, even as he bullies his way into you.

Soon his hips are clapping against yours, balls smacking against your clit over and over, one of his hands resting against the car seat head rest while the other gropes and kneads at one of your breasts, his hot breath in your ear.

You're mine, f-fuck, who do you belong to?

You're crying out, the angle feeling so impossibly deep that it makes you crazy, the pleasure making your toes curl and your throat feel dry.

You! Daichi Daichi Daichi -

He groans. Look outside, baby. All these - oh, oh fuck, all these people don't love you the way I do.

He hisses under his breath. They don't love this tight little pussy like I do, they can't take care of you as well as I do - god, tell me I take care of you.

You babble out something along those lines, his thrusts getting harsher the longer he talks. He feels impossibly big inside you, every inch making you feel full, fuller than you've ever been in your life - full of him him him, and Daichi loves the way you're mindlessly moaning his name now.

He wants everyone in this whole damn park to hear you scream his name.

Rough fingertips work at your clit, rubbing harsh circles that make your hips shake, your cries getting louder and louder as he growls in your ear. Come for me, fuck come all over my cock, show everyone just how good I fuck you.

You're practically screaming now, just as Daichi hoped for, your body spasming and your hips stuttering, your arms going weak and sagging as your face presses against the glass, the fogged up, dark windows barely separating you from the young man that quickly walks by the car, trying his best not to look at the clearly rocking and shaking vehicle, muffled moans and cries coming from the inside.

Daichi bites out a curse, the hand playing with your breast suddenly squeezing down hard, and then you feel a warmth inside you, his ragged pants and the incessant clenching of his balls against your thighs making you squirm.

He stays like that for a while, both of you trying to catch your breath as cum slowly leaks down your thigh, but he breaks the silence eventually. He leans down to kiss at your ear, letting his tongue slip out over the shell. You took me so well, baby, I'm proud of you.

And as he situates you to lay down in the backseat (with your legs folded up against your chest, just to make sure none of his cum drips out of you, so that it all stays nice and warm inside you, where it should be), he'll climb back up to the driver's seat, wiping the sweat off his brow and smiling at the sight of your in the rearview mirror. You're so pretty, all spent and stuffed with him, and now you've gotten your fix of the outside world for a while. You even got to see people - you'd be happy for a while now.

Maybe next time you got the urge to go outside again, he'd have you sit underneath one of the covered wooden tables and suck him off so hard your lips bruise.

A shiver rolls down his spine, as he backs out of the parking space, he throws your fucked-out body one last glance.

Yeah, that would do.

#_lee thirsts #_daichi sawamura #_haikyuu #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu smut #yandere daichi #daichi smut

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girlygguk · 11 months

Text

fame - jjk (four)

pairing ; idol!jk x idol!oc

synopsis ; christmas has come early this year when park dae-jung scores siren a chance to promote their latest single on a music show. the girls are excited to perform, hanna is wholeheartedly convinced this is going to be their breakthrough, and aera runs into two police officers coming out of the bathroom.

warnings ; explicit language

content ; how aera & jk met, dope era bts <3, the start of it all!!

word count ; 4.2k

a/n: so i know (award)shows are not exactlyy like how i describe them in the story but lets ignore that <3 also it's 2015 in this chap but jk & aera are 18 bc u wont catch me writing abt minors !!

a/n 2: so sorry for there being an insane wait on this chapter!!! next one will be coming way sooner as i split it in half bc i wanted to hurry and give an update!! not long until we're in the main timeline and get to the jaera juice!! tysmm for reading 💓

📅 March 2015 — 3 months before their call...

📍 PARK ENTERTAINMENT Building

"Oh my god!" Han-na's scream grabs me by the throat, dragging me out of my deep, dark, peaceful hibernation. My body jolts upwards with a groan, my eyes struggling to adjust to the light as I try to blink myself to life.

On the other side of our cramped dorm room, Ha-Joon is also coming to consciousness, her dirty blonde hair clinging to her pillow when she rises as if it's trying to haul her back down. "What the—" Joonie is cut off before she can finish her sentence, another wail from Hanna ringing in our ears.

I'm quick to shove the blanket off my body, jumping off my bed with a huff and dashing out of the room. I hear a soft whine behind me, our maknae reluctantly following my actions and trailing after me.

I slam open the door of Hanna and Nali's shared room, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion when all I'm met with is an equally groggy Nali. She's pushing herself off her mattress, no doubt on her way to finding the source of the scream as well. I turn on my heels and head for the last unexplored dorm, twisting the handle and stifling a laugh when Asami comes into view. She's sprawled out on her bed, a baby blue sleeping mask covering her eyes, and soft snores passing through her lips. She's fast asleep while our leader is possibly being brutally murdered. Shame.

I leave the room with a shake of my head, the two blondes snailing after me down the hall as I follow the sound of our eldest's voice towards the office. My pace increases when I hear the tone of a male voice too. Please be getting beat to a pulp right now, Hanna, because if I walk in on you getting freaky in our shared office, I swear to god—

The creak of the door pulls me out of my submerged mind, and an enormous breath of relief leaves me when all I'm greeted with is an ecstatic leader and our Producer-Director, Park Dae-Jung. Smiles adorned both faces, our director standing tall in black slacks and a navy blue button-up, looking like he was halfway through his day already, whereas I was currently leaning against the door for support. My sisters and I sported similar outfits, pyjama shorts and simple tees—except for Hanna, of course. The early bird was dressed in a cropped singlet, her belly button poking out just above the waistband of the grey sweatpants that coated her long legs.

Relief washed over our huddle of three when our worry for Hanna's safety disappeared. Joonie wastes no time, spinning promptly on her heels and retracing her steps directly back to bed. Her eyes are basically shut as she walks, muttering something about it finally getting to the good part of her dream.

Hanna's "wait!" causes a giggle to bubble in the base of my throat, watching as our youngest stops in her tracks before letting out a muffled cry. "She's gonna make us start practice early! Look at what she's wearing, aiiiiiishhhhh!" She wails before being as dramatic as ever and stamping her sock-covered right foot against the ground.

The cackle that left me was loud, overpowering Nali's breathy laugh as she grabbed the hand of our maknae, hauling her into the office with us. I pulled Joonie towards me, wrapping my arms around her waist, and she leaned her head on my chest as we returned our attention to the slumber-ruining villains in the centre of the room.

I take a quick glance at the clock on the wall behind Hanna, and I almost start crying along with Ha-Joon. It's 6:15; we shouldn't be starting practice for nearly two hours. If she even begins to head towards that room, I will be leaving the group effective immediately.

"No, practice will start as scheduled," she rolls her eyes, "but Dae Jung-nim just surprised us with amazing news!" We stare patiently at the girl shaking like a chihuahua, our director turning towards us with a similar grin. Joonie untangles herself from me, and our tired trio deliver a quick bow to him in greeting.

"We're promoting on Inkigayo!" My mouth dropped as I stared at our leader that towered over us, turning my head to look at the girls standing next to me to see they were sporting similar shocked expressions.

Our director was leaning against the table in the middle of the office with an easy smile, waiting for our reactions. My eyebrows furrowed, "I thought—"

Dae Jung-nim was quick to cut me off, "Times have changed, and we managed to secure you guys a slot. I know you might not want to promote there after they pulled a few of the debut stages, but..."

My sisters and I shook our heads, easing his worries with wide eyes and wider grins, "are you kidding? We would love to!"

I could physically see the relief wash over him as I spoke, and I think he was downplaying how hard it was to get us on the show. Our director has been in the business for many years and acquired a lot of connections throughout his career. We are 1/2 of Park Dae-Jung's remaining active groups. Well, active-ish.

Our male seniors, Poison, last had a group comeback almost two years ago now, most of them pursuing solo music and acting projects. They've been around since 2009 and were hugely influential for us as growing trainees, often mentoring us on their days off. Dae Jung-nim is like our Dad away from home, and while I still have vivid memories of him causing ex-trainees to break down in tears, I've come to see his sweet side. He's a big softie, really.

"I'm glad to hear it, girls. The more opportunities we have like this, the more the world will get to see your talent." He nods, hands clasped together humbly. Hanna is oozing with excitement as she jiggles on the spot whilst my other two sisters and I thank the lofty man with sleepy but ample smiles.

"All the info is here," he taps the thin file perched on the desktop, "and I've given Han-na a brief run-over."

My sisters and I part like the red sea as he pats Hanna on the shoulder before heading towards the office door. He flashes us one last sparkling grin before leaving the room, and Nali is the first to break the silence. "The things I would do for and to that man..." She sighs dreamily, head slumped against the wall to her left, and I swat at her arm teasingly.

"God, I'm so excited!" Our leader chirps, ignoring her roommate's crude remark, "This will be our breakthrough moment!"

Spoiler alert, it wasn't.

Suddenly, Joon brushes past me and treks further into the office towards the desk our promo file is sitting on, and I assume she's just going to peruse through it for a bit. I watch in interest as our youngest ignores the file entirely, her hand stopping over Hanna's phone that rests next to the folder. She taps the screen with purpose, the device blaring a painful 6:20 AM at her before she bites back a snarl and heads for the door.

"So about that early practice—" Joonie cuts off Hanna's teasing with a screech, already halfway down the hall towards her comfy bed. Nali and I share a knowing look, our eyes slowly, so so slowly, shifting towards our leader.

"Just go already."

That was all we needed for the blonde and me to fast-track out the damn door and back to our dorms to salvage the rest of our sleep.

"I'm waking you up at 8 o'clock sharp!" Our leader's voice booms from the room we just left, Nali and I not even reacting as we part ways to our separate dorms.

The sound of Joonie's heavy breathing hits my ears as soon as I enter my room, and I chuckle in astonishment at how she fell back asleep within seconds. Then, suddenly, it all makes sense as I flop onto my bed. The warm, cozy cover hugs me as my head sinks into my soft, cool pillow. As the darkness engulfs me in seconds, all I can think about is how Joonie is a fucking genius.

Jang Han-na is a, if not the prime example of a perfectionist. She believes in planning, lists, sticking to routines and scheduling every waking moment of her life. She is a born leader, my longest friend, and I love the girl to death. I couldn't name a better fit for our mother bear title, truly. But at times like this, I can't help but imagine my hands wrung around her neck. Not in a sexy way. You know when you're trying to stop the air from entering someone's lungs? That type of way.

It's been four days since our director graced us with the delightful news that we're going to be able to promote our latest lead single on Inkigayo. If you told me that right now, we'd be on our sixth hour of rehearsal for the fourth day in a row; I would've told Dae Jung-nim to shove the offer down his freshly pressed slacks.

I love to practice. I really do. I will never take dancing with my sisters for granted. It's always a guaranteed laugh when somebody messes up, and we watch Hanna lose her shit, though it's even better when she's the one who messes up. But this isn't funny anymore. I'm hot. I'm bothered. And I cannot stand to listen to our song play one more goddamn time in this boiling dance practice room.

My eyes lift from the ground in my heaved-over stance, a pained laugh passing through my lips as I see my four members sprawled out in various exhausted positions. Asami, specifically, catches my eye; her limbs are spread out on the floor like a starfish, her jaw to the ceiling as she heaves out heavy, strained breaths and furrowed brows to tie it all together. I almost lose it when our song dares to fade out and is about to replay automatically when Joonie's voice echoes throughout the hot box. "I will break your phone, unnie. I really will." Her threat is acknowledged by the oldest as she rolls over from her spot on the floor with a grunt and crawls over to her phone. Hanna lifts a hand to tap over the screen blindly, a satisfied sigh leaving her when the opening line cuts off mid-sentence before flopping back onto the ground again.

"I'll go get us some water," I offer, standing straight after unbending my knees and heading for the door.

"Are you kidding?" Joonie's voice causes me to turn back to the girls, my hand resting on the doorknob as I shoot her a confused look. "You are not even tired. You're so annoying!" She cries before rolling over on her side, turning to face the wall dramatically as the older members chuckle.

I shake my head at the melodramatic teen, a smile threatening to break through on my lips, "I am tired. Just not as much as you." My teasing results in our maknae attempting to pull off her shoe and launch it at me before she tiredly moans and gives up, falling back with a huff.

I exit the room with an amused giggle, making sure to leave the door open and let the hallway's cooled air pour into the studio.

SIREN'S SONG: Rumour from Produce48 (no bc siren would eat this up fr) + SIREN'S STAGE OUTFITS (Left to Right) Ha-Joon, Asami, Aera, Han-na, Nali

The warm air of the hand dryer does well to bring some heat to my cold, shaky hands in the bathroom of Inkigayo. Apparently, Joonie has decided that my hands are dry enough and dashes out of the room, the door swinging behind her as she abandons me. Feeling my eyes roll to the back of my head, I take a quick glance at the mirror and tuck in the part of my white blouse that's not sitting right under my belt before following after the hyperactive girl.

"Joonie, hold up," I whine as I push through the bathroom door, seeing her waiting against the wall opposite the toilets.

"I just wanted to get out of there. It smells like thirty different perfumes." She chuckles before pushing off the wall and starts to head in the direction of our members. I only make it a step towards her before a masculine voice joins our conversation.

"Hello. Are you alright?"

I turn my head towards the voice to see two guys in pilot? policeman? uniforms staring at me curiously. "I'm sorry?" I reply, my tone not doing anything to hide my confusion.

The strangled gasp of Joon from behind me reaches my ear before she almost trips over her own feet, jogging to my side. "Oh my annyeonghaseyo!" She splutters once she's next to me. Her head drops into an instant bow, and I catch on quickly, turning back to the two guys before bowing even lower.

They return the gesture with big smiles before the taller one with dirty blonde hair and a dimple I want to poke turns to me, "Did you need something?"

I feel his friend's gaze on me as I tilt slightly to look up at him before responding, "What do you mean?" What a confusing fucking interaction.

"You yelled out my name."

"Oh!" Oh I see. "Sorry, I was calling out to Joonie," I say as I gesture to the blonde on my left.

"His name is Joonie. Namjoon. Namjoon and Jungkook sunbaenim," she informs me in a low, pointed tone.

I blink a few times at my younger sister before turning back to the police officers. "Oh, wow! Bangtan Sonyeondan!" I bow again, "I'm a huge fan!" I add as I rise from the bow, and my eyes meet the brunette's when I lift my head. With an amused smile painted on his lips, he nods in a way that says 'clearly' in the most sarcastic tone you could think of.

"Kim Ha-Joon," she introduces herself politely before gesturing to me, "and this is Hwang Aera. It's great to meet you."

I mean, I am familiar with Bangtan Sonyeondan; I just didn't recognise them instantly. They make great music, and I share a room with Kim Ha-Joon, a boy group fanatic; it's literally impossible to be unfamiliar with most boy groups nowadays because of her. I am, however, more of an Exo fan. I would give up my firstborn for five minutes with Sehun, but that's another conversation.

I remember the two members she obsesses over in this specific group; one being Park Jimin and the other being the tall glass of water in front of her right now. I'm surprised she hasn't fainted or puked yet.

My eyes drag over their outfits quickly and interestedly before they raise to meet Jungkook's. His eyes are naturally wide and curious, and I find myself wanting to keep staring into them. But, seriously, they're so big that it's almost intimidating. I hate that I like that.

I force myself to eventually look away, though he does not do the same as I feel his gaze on me even when I turn to Hajoon while she speaks. "So excited for your performance! We love your music!" She praises, and I nod in agreement even though I couldn't tell you the first letter of the song they're performing if you held a gun to my head.

"Thank you," Namjoon says humbly, "We're excited to see you perform as well." I almost let a snort escape at his words because it's highly unlikely he even knows who we are, let alone our music. Instead, Ha-Joon accepts the polite response with a toothy grin and fiery red cheeks. It's so cute.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes furiously in my hand, and I mutter a soft apology under my breath before looking down at it, trying my hardest to ignore Jungkook's stare that I feel on my every move and trying even harder not to comment on it out loud.

[5:38 pm] HALMEONI: DID YOU GUYS FALL OVER IN THE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING?

[5:38 pm] HALMEONI: IF SO, GET UP RIGHT NOW AND GET BACK HERE.

[5:39 pm] HALMEONI: WE'RE ON SOON.

"Shoot," I mutter before looking up at Joonie, "we have to go before we get killed."

She looks away from Namjoon for what I think is the first time since she laid eyes on him, and I see the faintest hint of a pout on her lips as she nods at me. I turn to the pilots, "I'm really sorry about the confusion. But we have to go before our leader comes to find us, and none of us wants that." I bow again for good measure and watch as Namjoon shakes his head with a chuckle and a dimpled smile.

"Good luck," Jungkook calls as I spin on my heels and head towards a heated Hanna. I grab the arm of my starstruck maknae as I retreat, throwing back a polite 'thank you, you too!' as I drag the girl down the hall with me.

"Thank you SO much!" Joonie yells back, her free arm that isn't in my grasp lifting to give them a big wave. I am too distracted to laugh at her fangirl behaviour, trying to ignore the way the only two goddamn words he spoke during the entire interaction affected me.

Ha-Joon's borderline hyperventilating as we near the backstage area where our members are waiting pulls me out of my head long enough to glance at her and giggle. "You don't even know how shaky I am right now," she gushes, and I look down at my hand on her ghostly, goosebump-covered arm,

"I think I have some sort of idea."

"Jesus, look at their stage," Asami grumbles aloud as the five of us huddle around the monitors that display the performance of the current act. In this case, it's the Bulletproof Boy Scouts—or whatever I just heard the MC announce. Apparently, they have multiple names, and now I'm confused again.

The rest of us nod in unison, astonishment and a little jealousy, as we stare at the beautiful, very expensive-looking stage decoration through the little monitors. I watch as the spotlights flicker green before the camera zooms into the guy in the centre, and it's no other than Mr Oogly from the hallway incident.

"Ayo, ladies and gentlemen," Jungkook's voice is smooth as he moves confidently, eyes never losing the camera once he finds it. Once he finishes the intro, it cuts to another member, Jimin, if I recall correctly. I glance at Joonie in time to see her eyes widen excitedly when he appears on the screen.

When I look back at the monitor, the rest of the group is running into view, quickly getting into formation before they start dancing to the chorus' instrumental. My eyebrows furrow as they move, taking over the stage like seasoned professionals instead of young rookies. Jesus, they're good.

"What's that one's name, Joonie-yah?" Nali asks wide-eyed as a platinum blonde member makes his way to the middle.

"It's Suga, unnie," Ha-Joon replies instantly, her eyes not leaving the monitor for a split second.

Our youngest is rapping along (or at least trying to rap along) to Suga's part under her breath, and I watch as he casually devours his lines with a cheeky smile and breath control to be desired.

"I gotta make it, gotta, gotta make it,"

The next chorus approaches before I know it, and Jungkook slinks his way to the centre before I have time to register how the fuck someone can actually look like the guy who Joonie just informed me was named V.

"Jjeoreo!" They fall back into their choreo during the chorus, and my eyes float from each member before landing right back in the middle. Jungkook's staring into the camera as he sings his lines, and I shake my head in astonishment. He doesn't miss a beat while simultaneously singing his lines live during the intense chorus choreography.

Ha-Joon's singing along to the music is so cute; I pull her over and link my arm with hers. We're bobbing along to the chorus as we watch the group perform through the monitor with vibrant energy and stamina. I hope at least one person in this entire building was as impressed by our performance as Joonie is with theirs; she's basically shaking.

Their song comes to an end, and the loud screams from the crowd drag my sisters and me out of our haze. "Wow," Hanna breathes as we step back from the monitors while the show cuts back to the MCs.

"They're just insane, aren't they?" Joonie sighs dreamily with her head leaning on my shoulder. I nod in agreement and drag the younger girl along as we follow our leader through the backstage area while she says something about photos and a particular staircase.

"I haven't eaten today; I was scared I'd puke it all up. Apparently, all the food here is free. I'll bring back a bunch for all of us," Asami exclaims before breaking off from the herd and heading towards the cafeteria.

Joonie's ears perk up like a puppy at the mention of food, and it doesn't take long for her to detach from my side and jog over to the Japanese girl. They disappear around a corner and throw back an obedient 'yes mum' to Han-na when she tells them to hurry.

I hear a resounding chorus of chatter get louder behind me, coming from the area near where the five of us were just gathered around the monitors. Right where you dismount the stage. I ignored their cheers of glee and tried to speed up a bit to catch up to Hanna and Nali before a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Hey! Aera, right?"

I watch my two older sisters get further away on their trek to the stupid fucking staircase, and I'm almost offended. I could be getting abducted right now, and they wouldn't even notice. I spin around to face the voice, and his wide starry eyes catch me off guard again.

Nodding in response, I am about to lean down into a bow once again before he puts up a hand to stop me. Jungkook's smile is cheeky with an undertone of cockiness, abruptly halting my action.

"It's rude not to bow to your sunbaenims, you know," I inform through hooded eyes, my palms resting on the skin of my bare thighs. Suddenly, I wish I went for trousers today.

"Sunbaenim?" His tone is so cheeky, "We debuted barely a year before you."

His response catches me off guard, and I blink a few times, waiting for his confident facade to crack. It doesn't. "How'd you know when we debuted?"

"Big fan." He says simply with a shrug, no doubt referencing my comment from earlier this afternoon in the hallway.

"Hm," I nod with a pursed-lip smile, glancing over his shoulder and seeing his bandmates looking in our direction. They notice my gaze on them and suddenly spin around into a huddle, pretending to have never looked at me to begin with.

A laugh catches in my throat at his members' actions before I look back at Jungkook. "Your performance was really good." I praise, watching as his head tilts ever so slightly at the comment, his teeth poking out of his mouth as he smiles. Like a bunny.

"You think so?"

"Don't say things like that if I don't mean it. You were great." I nod, watching his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

"Thank you. You were incredible as well," Jungkook replies politely, and I brush it off as an obliged response.

"Seriously. You were." He assures, almost as if he could tell I didn't believe him.

"Thank you."

I find myself looking at his eyes again. You can learn a lot about someone through their eyes, and his are wide and full. He doesn't even try to hide his emotions displayed in their glossiness, and I don't think he wants to. It protrudes confidence and security, and I admire that.

A few moments pass, and my eyes flicker from him to the members behind him before they return. "I have to go take photos in front of a staircase," I say as his eyebrows raise intriguingly, "I'll let you get back."

He nods wordlessly before patting his back pocket, "Could I—" he finally finishes the phone from his trousers, "grab your number?"

My teeth pull at the inside of my bottom lip as I watch him unlock his phone before looking up at me with wide, hopeful eyes.

"I, uh—" I don't give my number out. To anyone. I lost a lot of friendships in my journey to debut. Work occupied ninety-nine percent of my time and attention. Any relationships I did have prior to Siren basically fizzled out due to our long and odd hours of practice and preparation.

"I won't bother you too much," he smirks, "promise."

My lips purse shut as I take the phone from his grasp before putting my number in his contacts.

"I won't bother you too much." What a fucking liar.

this chapter is dedicated to @ibtiheler for your sweet comments & dms, thank u for supporting the story angel!! i hope ur having an amazing day <3 love you xx

tag list — lemme kno if u'd like to be added <3

@0anodite0 @heartjiminie @aloverga @cuntessaiii @adeptiixiao

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #bts army #bts fic #jungkook bts #bts #bangtan #fame

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theconstantsidekick · 1 year

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no because, supernatural is absolutely a train wreck. it's a colossal accident that is happening in front of you that you can't look away from. it is homophobic and non-sensical and downright laughable at times but you know what? I love it. I absolute love it.

season 1 was absolutely beautiful. you don't understand, really, you don't. they had a piss poor budget, you can see that in every frame. but does that stop it from being fucking beautiful? no. it is stylised and ambitious and a fucking visual treat.

and this is like the first fucking episode. the shots have so much character! and that's nothing to say of the characters themselves. from the first fucking scene you can clearly distinguish sam and dean's character clear as day. their motivations, their dreams, their hopes, all of it. it's established so well. their dynamic is unmatched. does it also have a lot of garbage? yes for sure. because what in the name of hell was that episode with bugs? what glue were they sniffing when they green lit that one? no seriously... I wanna try some.

but then they recovered, cause they did faith. my god, what an episode. WHAT AN EPISODE. that motherfucking reaper haunts my every waking hour

like yeah, I love me some baby dean and baby sam going on their small scale ghost hunts while learning deep lessons about who they are as people and what they want from life.

also that 'laugh I nearly died' needle drop? where sam sees jess? god tier editing, GOD TIER.

then they came back with season 2. and here is my most controversial opinion that should not be controversial at all, season 2 is the best season of supernatural to ever supernatural.

what is and what should never be, hollywood babylon, heart, nightshifter, and the whole fucking season actually. not a single miss in my humble opinion. and that finale? THAT FINALE. beautiful, magnificent. ground breaking character writing, everything comes full circle while simultaneously opening up new plot lines to explore.

and my god, yellow eyes is an epic villain. he is a very viciously written villain like, he's... my god. it ain't a walk in the park writing villains, believe you me patient readers, villains are harder to write than the protagonists, always. well, at least the compelling ones are.

now season 3 suffered because of the writer's strike, but didn't miss much either. like yeah some of the hits don't hit as hard as the season 2, but hey, mystery spot, time is on my side, ghostfacers, bedtime stories are nothing to laugh about. those episodes are fucking solid, like most of the season. and there is so much raw emotion is sam's need to save dean, it just makes my weak winchester brothers loving heart throb a little too hard. also...

need I say more?

does the show did look little more washed out and boring? yes. but it's cool, cause we're moving on to season 4.

listen, I kinda just wanna leave all my season's critique at this. i mean, yeah this. this is it. this is the long and short of it; castiel. i don't think i need to get anymore into it

so season 5 is just—

i'm kidding. obviously i'm gonna talk about season 4, at length.

listen, being able to introduce angels this late in the game and then have them be a such perfectly hidden players is a masterstroke of genius. it just is. i am a writer guys... apart from the relentless fanfic as well lol. and when i tell you, introducing a new big player which is also (not so) secretly the next big bad and playing it off as smoothly as they did in season 4, is beyond hard. but the biggest home run these fuckers hit is castiel and the best part is they weren't aiming for a one lol. and oh oh, the way they use their very VERY limited budget to show wings with just flashing the fucking light? CINEMA! that's fucking cinema right there man. i work on film sets, i am telling you, this is the smartest filmmaking choice they make on the entire show. it adds so much visual intrigue while being so awfully easy to execute. BRILLIANt.

now i cannot talk about supernatural without talking about the deancas romance of it all, which i understand not everyone can see or wants to, which is fine. to each their own. you consume art the way you want to, i don't care much as long as you can acknowledge that castiel and dean's friendship was just some of the best written television that mankind has ever seen. is that too grand a statement? yes. does that make it any less true? no.

they even brought back the moody lighting.

and then there's the episodes this season, most of which are home runs in their own regard. just like beautiful writing, the character development for cas, for dean, for sam, even the late john winchester is wild. anna is a wonderful addition, so is uriel, and alastair? they don't make villains like him anymore, they just fucking don't. AND THAT GODDAMN PLOT TWIST AT THE END? man! the finale was just... too good. Chuck's introduction is absolutely wonderful, even if they ruin him by the end but that happens a decade later so wtv, who cares? But,,,, Jimmy. Fucking. Novak. That's all. that's the tweet. yeah. i'm gonna end the season 4 fan fair with jimmy.

moving to season 5.

subjectively speaking, this is my fucking favorite. this season is a writer's dream while also being their goddamn nightmare. so many WONDERFUL characters to play with and such a grand plot but you get to see it all on a very small, consumable scale which is just... it's too smart for me to not mention. i won't start naming the plot points and neither will i name my favourite episodes because what even is the point? all of it was fucking perfect. you don't understand how hard it is to develop characters to such an extent that they become so familiar to the audience that they know their next move before you even put it on the screen. and supernatural had that. they tied everything together with so much care and consideration, just... AAAH so good.

a special shoutout goes to endverse!cas, crowley and death this season. you all know it in your bones that those three were just the absolute scene stealers. especially death's introduction... immaculate.

they did lose a few points for not being as aesthetically pleasing as the past few seasons but hey, gabriel was enough to make a smooth recovery.

but this... this is the end of the road for me people. season 5 is where it should have ended. in no way shape or form am i saying that there aren't a few good episodes here and there after this, because there are. i think season 5 was so fucking solid, tied up so many goddamn lose ends and then just put a cute little hell shaped bow on top and i just... yeah. this was and should have been the end of the road. do not get me wrong, i love me some jack kline, charlie bradbury, kevin tran, rowena macleod and eileen lahey but were they worth the bullshit ending i had to sit through? not really.

i absolutely think if there weren't more episodes of supernatural I would never have become a destiel fan, because i started shipping them when dean made cas a mixtape in season TWELVE! but my god, the good times were so scattered amongst the horseshit that even when i found those hidden gems, they were so fucking drenched in the stink that they lost their value.

the worst of it all is that, i cannot explain to you what supernatural means to me in a million words, because it is a part of me, heart and soul. i fucking AM castiel. i am a gay little angel you hear me? i love this show. i do. i'm glad it went on for however long it did but i feel like once in a while i need to write shit like this or read shit like this to remind myself of the show that it used to be. of it's beautiful cinematography, of it's clever little storytelling techniques. of it's wonderful cast. of how epic their song choices used to be.

FUcking RENEGADE? iconic. wanted, dead or alive? cannot hear the song without hearing sam's off tune goat bleating that he called singing along.

i need to remind myself of how afraid i used to be of lucifer. of how much i cried while watching dark side of the moon; when dean and sam burst the crackers, and how i learnt the lyrics to knocking on heaven's door just because of that scene.

sometimes i just have to walk through memory lane and look back at gabriel's death, the good one, the only one. it was so fucking meaningful. i have to think of "we are making it up as we go" to be able to breathe properly because those moments were so fucking beautiful.

fuck the big ones, i even remind myself of the small ones, of dean's handwriting being in all caps, just like him. of sam's fucking huge laptop with that weird blue black sticker in the middle. of castiel's tie, that just was the right shade of blue, and hung all wrong but just naturally enough to add so much more to his character than any fucking dialogue could. every small little detail of supernatural that made it so damn supernatural. i miss it all.

idk. i'm rambling. whatever.

#superntural #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #spn #spn season 1 #spn season 2 #spn season 3 #spn season 4 #spn season 5 #dean #cas #sam #dean and sam #i think it'll add onto this post later #as i think of more things #because you best believe i will

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starcrossedreaders · 1 year

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Work Song

Authors Note: This is a part 2 for a request I did. Here is part one, I highly suggest you read it before you read part 2! Part 1. This one is going to be a long one. Thank you so much @aussiepineapple1st for all of the help for this second part, Enjoy!

Taglist: @umooooo74

Warnings: Surgery, Mentions of death, mentions of suicidal thoughts, sad coming home, angst no comfort

Leon could hear your soft voice fill the room as your fat tears dripped down his arm. He wishes he could just open his eyes, for one moment he just wants to see you, touch you, and tell you that everything is going to be okay, but his body had different plans.

"I-I'm so-so-sorry, Leon," The tears would not stop coming and it broke his heart into a million pieces.

"I'm sorry Leon, I wanted to get away. Just another way to feel what I didn't want myself to know and let myself go. I know, you didn't lose your self-control like I did. Let's start at the rainbow," He could feel your cold hand slide into his. Your hands are always cold, it was a normal occurrence for you to stick your hands under his shirt while he did paperwork. Normally it would be a annoyance to him but now he wish your hands could bring him out of his deep slumber.

He tried everything in his power to at least squeeze your hand as you spoke to the doctors.

"So, have you made a decision? I'm not trying to rush you but the faster we get him into the operating room the better chance he has at surviving,"

There was a almost dramatic pause before you spoke up again while you squeezed his hand. "We're going to try the surgery." Dr. Smith said a few things before she left the room.

Leon tried to wiggle his toes in hopes to work up to squeezing your hand. He had promised himself that he would try one more time. Once the door clicked shut he tried once last time. His muscles spasmed out as he gave you a very weak squeeze. He did it, he actually managed to squeeze your hand. High on his recent victory he tried again, this time the squeeze was just a little bit stronger. He heard your body shuffle to his as you leaned onto his body.

"Leon! Oh my god, you're here.....holy shit you're here," Your head laid against his chest as hot tears feel from your eyes once again.

"Listen to me, and listen good," If he could he would be rolling his eyes as he laughs at your seriousness.

"You are going to come out of this surgery alive. You hear me, alive. I won't take it any other way. Please give me a chance to apologize to you when you're awake....please," Your voice strained the further you got along in your speech.

Leon would make it out alive, no matter what, he will come back to you, no matter what.

A few hours passed and the sun began to peak over the horizon casting an orange hue on Leon's unconscious form. His features seemed to sharpen under the new lighting. Your voice had trailed off slowly as the hours past. You were re-telling anything and everything about your relationship with Leon. From the first time you saw him to the latest argument. Purple bags had started to form under your eyes as your soft snores were muffled by Leon's chest.

Birds started to sing their good mornings to their partners, it reminded Leon when he would roll over in the early hours of the morning and whisper sweet nothings into your hair. He wanted nothing more then to do that right now.

The door clicked open as a few doctors walked into the room. Sitting up you quickly brush the hair out of your face as you put a smile on and greet each of them.

The surgeon explained what the operation was, how it would be done, how long it would take, and even got into the risks; which seemed to outweigh the pros.

You felt your heart sink as you thought about everything that could go wrong, but alas, you still shook your head as you signed Leon's life away.

Within a few short moments, Leon was being rolled out to the operation room. The wheels groaned as they carried his heavy body to the room where his life would be at stake. You could do nothing more but pace the room and pull your hair. Dr. Smith tried numerous times to get you home, but you couldn't. This one 14-hour surgery had just begun. You had to be here to get the updates. Eventually, your pacing turned into a nap on the visitor's chair. By the 3rd hour, there had been no updates on Leon.

Leon couldn't feel anything, but the beeping machines had kept his brain going. His heart was at a steady beat as tools were pasted over his body.

"Do you see that?"

"Yea... is that the...virus?"

"I think so sir,"

The surgeon let out a curt nod before they turned around from Leon's body and started to take his gloves off.

Your head nodded off as your heavy eyelids fell over your bloodshot eyes. Your head landed on the wall behind you with a solid 'thump' before the door opened.

Jolting up at the sudden intrusion you scanned the room to find the surgeon with his head gear still on.

"Ah L/N, sorry to wake you, I was coming to check up on you and to update you on Leon's current state," You shot out of your chair upon hearing his words.

"Is he okay?"

"I'm afraid not..."

"Wha-" Your legs were starting to shake as your brain raked through all of the things that could have gone wrong.

"I'm afraid he's not going to make it,"

"No..." Ringing filled your ears as your heart shattered. Every little piece fell to your feet, one by one.

The male's voice was muffled as he gave his condolences and stepped out. Time seemed to speed up and slow down all at once. Small laughs bubbled out of you as you shook your head in disbelief.

"He's not dead. Leon is stronger than that, I know my boyfriend," Your hands pulled at the roots of your head as paced the white room. Laughing to yourself you uttered nonsense about your recent lover's death.

Walking over to the chair felt like you were floating, upon sitting down the severity of the situation finally hit you head-on. A locked-up sob racked through your body before you choked out a cry.

"God no please let this be a sick cruel joke." You knew better than that, healthcare workers had no right to be so insensitive in a situation like this. But still, you prayed out to whatever god would listen that a miracle would happen.

You rocked yourself back and forth as your bawled in your hands. Your tears dropped down into the Earth's core, naturing those you have passed and now your beloved.

Leon could still hear the annoying beepings and murmured voices but past all of that, the memory of your guy's first date played for him. His eye's darted from side to side under his closed lids as the memory played out.

When Leon had taken you out for dinner he was on a 3-day drunken sin. He could care less about the slight fever he had as his sweaty fist knocked on your door. If it weren't for the text you sent him the night before he would have forgotten about the whole night ahead of him. When you opened the door he thought he was dreaming.

Once the late hours of the night rolled in you guys sat in his drawing shapes from the fogged windows. All Leon could think about was your soft sweet lips against his. Leon doubt he could find a thing as sweet as you. You had given him a toothache just from kissing him.

When he moved on to his special agent duties, so did your relationship. You had spent long nights worrying for his safety. Whenever he came home, you would love and nature, Leon, hoping his broken stems would grow beautiful flowers again. You had never asked him about the wrong he had done, you never fret none about what his hands and body had done. He knew if the lord never forgave him his baby would at least. Every time he would come back all bruised and beat you would put your love down soft and sweet. Leon was free in those long periods of bliss.

Leon's line of work had been a main point of many discussions for friends, family, and even between yourselves. He had voiced the concept that he'll never be able to rest till the world is free of its atrocities and those who have created them. In the same sense, he refuses to go down easily and won't rest till he has said his goodbyes and departed this world on his own terms. So, when he brought up the topic of how he wanted to be buried and celebrated you never really listened.

"Baby, are you listening to me? When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth."

You could see the picture crystal clear, Leon's grave blooming with everything he has done for this world, giving it all back in the form of nature. Small forget-me-not's would bloom in great big bushes between great big lilies alongside tall strong daffodils. His tombstone would say "In Loving Memory of Leon Scott Kennedy. A man who would do anything for others. He lived and died a Special Agent, protecting his Country." Despite his jokes about wanting one of his infamous one-liners instead.

Your brain went into auto-pilot as you signed a dozen of papers and drove yourself home. The house was cold and dark without your partner. The clank of your keys and thumps of your heavy steps brought you out of your trance as you stood in the middle of your foyer. Everything about him was gone, even down to his shoes. A lump in your throat began to form the longer you looked at his supposed place for his shoes.

Walking further into the living room reminisces of the night before flashed between your vision. The lump in your throat slowly moved up. How could you be so cruel to him when you knew that could have been the last time you'll see him. Disgusted with yourself, you rushed to your shared room. Blankets were thrown across the bed as the sheets wrinkled in their unkept spot. The scent of his cologne smacked you in the face as you walked over to his side of the bed. Sitting down your hand soothed out the wrinkles as stare off.

The days seemed to mush together as you spent every waking hour in bed. When the sun was shining you were sleeping, and when the moon's light cascaded in your cold lonely bed you were weeping. Your phone had been dead for the past 3 days and your family was starting to worry. Any attempt to help you was futile, your spark of life was gone. You wanted to join Leon in his adventure to serenity, maybe then you guys will be able to live out a peaceful life with no troubles of life.

Sighing you rolled out of bed as you shuffled to your bathroom. Upon removing your hand from rubbing your face the reflection that looked back at you was horrifying. Dark bags lined each eye, you hair was knotted, and your complexation was pale, you looked like a zombie. You were quick to turn away, as you go to turn the shower on. The cold metal of the handle bit at your hand as you twisted it all the way to the left. Your hands trailed down to take your sleeping shorts off before you heard your front door creak open.

Your hands ghost over the band of your shorts as you turn your head. Waiting a few moments you the house went quiet again. You had to be hearing things, clearly you weren't in the right state of mind right now. Your shorts made it about half way down your legs before you heard footsteps. You rushed to pull them up as you rushed to find a weapon.

When you moved in with Leon he had showed you how you could use anything as a weapon. The main thing he pointed out when you guys made it to the bathroom was: "The toilet lid will be your best option, it's heavy and reliable if you have a good grip."

You were quick to pull the lid off as your gripped it just how he showed you. Walking out of the bathroom you kept your knee slightly bent to lower your body as you walked with one foot in-front of the other. Heavy footsteps neared your room, quickly you stood behind your door as they got louder.

Closing your eyes you took a deep breath in and opened them on the exhale. You had cursed yourself for not double checking the locks, and keeping your doors wide open. Raising the lid over your shoulder you watched as a tall broad body made their way through the door. You knew you were royally fucked when you saw his muscle strain through his compressed shirt.

He blond hair swayed with each calculated step. Before he could make it any further you let out a piercing scream before you swung for his head. The lid was sure to hit him right on, deeming him unconscious as you ran for help; that was the plan anyway. The male was quick to twist his body as his hand caught the lid.

Before you could scream you paused when you saw his face.

Leon.

It was Leon.

No, it couldn't be.

He was...

dead?

"Leon?" Your arms slowly dropped with the lid still in your hands.

"Are you trying to land me in the hospital again?" Your bottom lip quivered as you rushed to him.

Your arms wrapped around his body, dropping the porcelain lid. You tucked your head in-between his chest as his scent flooded your nose. He's here. He's here and alive, you couldn't believe it.

A sob racked through your body as he wrapped his arms back around.

"I'm here, I'm right here, no need to cry," He rubbed your back as he rocked your bodies back and forth.

You guys stood like that for a long while, he pressed kissed into your hair as he whispered sweet nothings into your head.

"No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to you." You lifted your head to press your lips against his.

This one kiss is what you craved, what you needed. His head tilted down to yours slowly but surly getting ready to press his lips against yours.

Your eyes locked with his as his breath fanned over your lips. Before you lips could finally lock together a distant ringing filled the room.

Snapping your head towards to direction of the noise your eyes fluttered open as your phone continued to ring.

It was a dream. A sick cruel dream that your mind played for you. You watched as your phone finished ringing before you curled up on your side and began to cry.

"When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth."

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