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adventuringblind · 10 months

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Daddy Issues Part 2

Max Verstappen X Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Requested: No, but I'm in a writing mood, so I'm taking requests for Max and Charles. *Silently begs for people to not be shy*

Summary: Jos may have been dealt with for now, but parental issues for the two lovers are far from it.

Warnings: DADDY ISSUES... again, mentions of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, not proofread (I don't even proofread my college papers), Jos is a warning himself

Notes: This part is written in the second person perspective because it's more geared toward the readers' struggles. Jos does make a reappearance. At this point, it's completely self-indlugent. I'm writing from similar experiences, so please be gracious.

Also, I posted things about a novel I'm currently working on. If you have a chance, please give it a look! You can find it on my masterlist.

Masterlist // Part one // Part three

You were naïve to think that your troubles would be over after the interaction with Jos.

The air around you and Max had become significantly lighter. Max even opened up about things to his friends and was able to smile more during races.

You loved watching him. The light in his eyes even when coming in second or third.

You thought maybe the two of you would be able to heal and move forward. Max had been thriving the last six months. Both physically and mentally because of the steps he'd been taking to get there.

However, you had a different story. While Max had been able to cut off contact with Jos, you had your dad to deal with still.

Thankfully, your dad was good at putting on his best performance around people. It was the reason very few people had the privilege of understanding your relationship with your family.

You'd wanted to cut him off originally, but you couldn't because you still felt the underlying need to please him. Your mom is in a similar situation, and your sibling(s) who still had yet to be able to make that choice.

You hadn't told Max yet. Things had gotten worse for you recently. You didn't want to ruin his current state of joy.

A people pleaser by heart.

So you hid that part away and put on your best face as you basked in Max's smiles. The warmth of them helping you mask yourself.

Until it started to fall apart.

The first encounter was once again with Jos. You found him in hospitality during a race. Immediately getting defensive and ready to call security.

That was until you noticed him having a conversation with your father. The two seeming to have a lively discussion.

Then they noticed you. Hand beckoning you to come closer.

Cautiously, you approached the table. Choosing not to take a seat and standing at the end instead.

"Good to see you again! I hope you haven't missed me too much since we last spoke." Jos' voice sounded like sandpaper in your ears. The bruise on your cheek had long since healed, but being near him brought back the stinging feeling of his hand.

"I hadn't realized you both were coming." Your voice came out shakily. Fingers crossed that they didn't catch on to your ever-growing anxiety.

"Jos managed to get passes and invited me to come along. Since you and Max are close he figured we should be too." Your father explained. "Though I'm shocked they didn't come from Max himself."

You tried hard not to grimace. The realization that you might have to explain why doing nothing to help your panic creeping in slowly.

"I bet if you were as successful as Max, you wouldn't need him to give us the passes." Your father laughs in your direction.

"What is it you do again?" Jos suddenly turning towards you. A hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I'm in psychology."

"No wonder you need Max's money."

"Bet she has Max hypnotized with her knowledge of the brain or something."

The two were cracking up now. Laughing at your expense.

Your dad calmed down a moment. Breathing deeply to get his breath back. His face became neutral again, noticing the obvious frown you now dawned. "It was a joke, Y/N. There's no need to get upset. Max isn't going to be able to handle you eventually if you don't get thicker skin.

You'd had enough. Not wanting to cry in front of everyone, you turn to head back to the garage. Maybe even to hide in Max's driver room for a moment.

Though you didn't get far before a hand caught your wrist. "Stop ignoring me. It's disrespectful, and I am still your father." You didn't turn around. Didn't want him to see you cry. "I have you a life that was better than mine. My father would have never even tried. Yet, you still don't listen to me. Get your act together soon, please."

To outsiders, he sounded sincere. You, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was doing.

Yanking your hand back, you continue walking without giving the two older men a second glance.

If you were home, you would lock yourself in your room til he threatened to take your door. Then, you would shower and hide in the bathroom. If that didn't work, you would try to look productive and cry silently so he couldn't be mad at you for doing such an action as letting the tears roll. He thinks it's over dramatic.

Somtimes he would take to slamming things around. Doors, chairs, his phone, things in his room, not at you but purposely loud.

It didn't matter how hard you worked, it would never be enough. This is how you and Max are able to understand each other. You knew exactly what the other needed because both of you have lived this.

As soon as the race was over, you went to celebrate Max and his victory. The moment was joyful for him. Making a mental note to tell him what happened earlier, you decided now definitely wasn't the time.

Neither was when you got back to your hotel room after celebrating. Or when you took a phone call from your dad with more lovely words that made you feel disgusting in your own skin. Or the plane ride back to Monaco. Or when you got home and immediately went to shower because your entire body felt like it was dirty from nothing but your dad and Jos harassing you.

You didn't tell your mom either, she had enough things to deal with. You didn't tell anyone for that matter.

Max had caught on when he noticed you weren't sleeping. When you weren't eating. When you started apologizing excessively. Habits he thought he broke when he was able to get you to move in with him through constant reassurance.

Now, you were moving backward while he was moving forward.

Then he put the pieces together. He only wished he saw it sooner. Could've stopped what happened before it was pulled like a ruug out from under him.

You had flown home to see your sibling(s) for a week. You missed them dearly and wanted to spend time with them while Max was away.

It had started smoothly, your dad being civil with you, a few sarcastic remarks thrown around here and there, but nothing too bad.

He was trying to convince you to come back home, where you belonged. You kept brushing him off, telling him you're happy where you are now.

It only got worse from there. Your father and Jos had gotten closer over time. He had coincidentally come knocking at the door while you were there. He said he was in the area and wanted to say hello.

Your sibling(s) had tried to get you out of the house, but you only said it would make things worse. It earned you some feelings of sadness, but they left you to converse regardless.

The four of you sat in the living room. Your mom and you mostly listen to the two men catching up.

Then your mom left to make dinner. You stood up with the intention of following before being stopped by the pair.

"Jos tells me Max has been ignoring him."

Your tempted to roll your eyes but refrain in case he's paying close attention.

"Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me the reason behind it. Have you been filling his head with lies about our exchange awhile back?" Jos' smirk makes you want to hit him. Again you refrain, knowing that he can and will hurt you if you're out of line.

"He saw why happened." You state. Making a move to hold your ground.

"He hears what you said as he came inside. He fell for the obvious manipulation. I can't believe you even blamed the bruise on me." He fakes a look of offense.

Your father shakes his head on disgust. Your body goes rigid. Voices begin sounding like they're underwater. You hang your head in defeat as they continue to accuse you of things you would never do.

"Stop it!" You snapped. Something in you breaking loose.

In seconds, a cup was shattered against the wall, and your face was burning with the sting of someone's palm.

You know you had to leave. The adrenaline from your flight response is kicking in.

So you ran, grabbing what you could and quickly exiting the house. Your mom is doing her best to keep her distance from your dad while he throws his temper tantrum and Jos convincing him that I am an entitled brat.

You definitely didn't have all your stuff, but it didn't matter. You called an Uber and found your way back to the airport. Finding and flight back to Monaco you could.

You received a few texts from your dad before blocking him and called the rest of your family to apologize for your behavior and say you'd wished you'd had more time.

Then you called Max. You hand messaged him back since mid-morning and he was starting to get concerned.

"Hello Lovely, is everything alright? I haven't heard much from you today?" His cheery voice made your smile just a little.

"Yes, but I'm coming home early. I'm on an early flight back home." Your voice is on the verge of breaking. You send a silent prayer that he doesn't catch one.

You hear his phone buzzing with notifications. "How were things at the factory?" You ask, making an attempt to change the subject.

"Is was alright, did some marketing and PR things today. Daniel says Hello." He chuckles. "My dad has been texting me though, which is odd."

You hear him sigh deeply. "Are you sure you're okay? Because he's trying to convince me of things I know aren't true."

"Your dad was there visiting mine coincidentally." The damage holding back your tears was coming loose. "I messed everything up again."

"Mijn liefje, you did nothing of the sort." His voice once again had that gentle tone. One that made you feel safe. "I'm not sure how fast I can he back in Monaco, but I'll meet you there as soon as I can."

By the time you had landed, it was early in the morning. You considered just waiting in the airport until it was brighter and then walking home since Max was still in Austria. So, the text that came from Lando that he was coming to get you was a bit of a shock.

You were relieved when he pulled in. Satey once again within your reach.

"Thanks for coming to get me."

"No worries, Max called and asked if I could. Said it was a bit on an emergency but didn't say what happened." He smiled at you, trying to get you to become less defensive.

You hadn't realized how tense you still were. Your body is still trying to shrink in on itself.

You attempted small talk until he pulled into up to the apartment. "Thanks again for the ride." Then you rushed inside as fast as possible.

The floor became your best friend. Everything after opening the door became blurry.

When you woke up later on the bathroom floor with Max's sweatshirt as your pillow, you had no idea how it happened.

Texts from Max and Lando lined your notification wall. Your body too heavy to move however, you resigned to back to the comfort of the floor and the comforting smell of Max.

The next time you woke up, you heard keys jingling in the door.

You curled into yourself. Hiding from the inevitably of confronting what happened only a day earlier.

"Love, are you here? I'm home!"

You wanted to crawl to him. Seek comfort in his arms. But your own mind was stopping you. Replaying everything that they said about you.

You heard him drop his bags and begin his search. Bedroom, kitchen, office, terrace, then finally bathroom. He knew he should have checked their first. The bathroom had always been your safe space. He often found you just sitting in the empty bathtub if life felt overwhelming.

He peeked around the corner, his face instantly softening at the sight of you.

Neither of you said anything as he crouched down next to you. Unsure the extent of what happened, he refrained from touching you.

"Can I hug you?" His voice almost a whisper. As if speaking any louder would shatter you like that glass your dad had thrown as you made your escape.

You slowly nod yes but make no effort to move. You end up not having to as Max pulls you into his arms. Your body draped over his lap.

You felt so small in this moment, with his hand caressing the back of your head.

The dam broke. A hard sob wracked your body. Wailing into Max's chest.

"You're safe now, I got you." He whispered. His hold unrelenting until the tears were able to slow.

"I'm so sorry." Your voice muffled from his chest. "You were so happy I didn't want to ruin it, so I didn't tell you."

"I'm happiest when I know you are also doing well. You can't ruin that for me. I love you too much to see you like this." He pulled your face back, his soft eyes meeting yours.

He was finally able to take in the bruise on your cheek. Once again, not able to stop the unrelenting force of your fathers misdemeanors against you both.

He was angry, you could tell. You saw the rage flash through his eyes.

Knowing that's not what you needed right now, though, he softened again. "Who did this to you love?"

You began rapidly shaking your head no. Not wanting to relive it and not wanting to make things more difficult for him. "I can't-" you started.

"It's my job to make sure you're safe because I love you. It's not going to be an inconvenience." He always knew what to say.

"Jos." Was all you could muster before you were crying into his shoulder again.

You told him everything. All the events in the past few months. Every awful word spoken towards you. How he understood you, you have no idea.

The two of you stayed like that until you fell asleep in Max's arms. Knowing you couldn't stay here forever, he brought you to the bed and tucked you in. His lips on your forehead the last sensation before you were completely lost to your subconscious.

MAX'S POV

Everything about the situation made him want to break down. He thought he would finally be able to move on. He did, kind of, but left you behind in the process.

He knew something was wrong but didn't want to force you to open up. You needed to process things longer and came to him when you were ready.

This situation affected you differently though. Your response to your father had always been inward. Taught from a young age just to take it and nit talk about it. Convinced that you shouldn't paint your home life as bad because you had a roof over your head and food on your table.

He understands, though his reactions are different. Often not understanding that something was wrong and just talking about it like it was normal.

Daniel was the first to question, and you were the first to get him like nobody else.

You broke eachothers bad habits you'd learned from years of toxicity. Started learning better communication. Working through things and understanding eachothers responses.

He could never thank you enough for your help with his dad. Standing up for him despite the physical altercation was brave. He knew it was hard for you but you loved him enough to do it anyways.

Now, it was his turn to help you through this. He didn't care how long it took.

The bruise on your cheek only sparked a fire in him. He was tired of the hurt your fathers were causing. He knew now that both of you deserved better.

So, he would help it get better.

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end-otw-racism · 11 months

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End OTW Racism Link Round-Up: Week 1!

We are now in week two of our action demanding that OTW live up to its commitments to address racist harassment & abuse, which ends May 31st! There was a lot of great discussion during the first week, so we wanted to post a round-up of some of the longer-form discussion/analysis that people have been sharing (we're going with posts on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, and other sites, as well as Twitter threads that are longer than three tweets). These are posts that we think would be helpful to consider as fandom engages in the necessary conversations about these issues.

If we've missed something you've written, we'll be doing another round-up of week two, so it's not too late! You can either submit it on tumblr, tweet at us, or email us at endotwracism [at] gmail [dot] com. We do reserve the right to only share posts that are in line with the intent of the campaign and that we believe are adding to the conversation.

Tumblr

beatrice-otter: Why AO3 needs to be accountable for reducing fandom racism in its internal culture and the archive [link]

pretty-weird-ideas: End OTW Racism and the “Fed” Accusations [link]

aretethegreattelleroftales: You don’t understand what EndOTWRacism is asking for here, and because you clearly do not understand it, you should have known better than to speak on it. [link]

vex-verlain: In response to the reactions I’ve seen to #EndOTWRacism [link]

unrealromance: I don’t really understand how people don’t know the difference between ‘whoops I’ve fallen into a racist trope’ and 'I am literally writing hate speech that is unveiled, mask off’. [link]

pretty-weird-ideas: Codification of a Living Document as a solution to Harassment on OTW [link]

indifferentvincent: RE: End OTW Racism Derailment [link]

elumish: In light of some of the backlash to the End OTW Racism protest, and particularly the concern that an anti-harassment policy would lead to abuse of reporting mechanisms or censorship of unpopular authors/ships… [link]

seepunkrun: How to Find and Attend OTW Board Meetings [link]

indifferentvincent: The people who use the excuse of saying ao3 is an ‘archive’ and so 'must preserve’ the most vile, intentionally racist fics just sound like the most privileged motherfuckers on the planet to me. [link]

spacebeyonce & pretty-weird-ideas: wow this is such a normal and rational thing to say about having a diversity consultant to help ao3 fix their bullshit. [link]

indifferentvincent: I have to assume this is in regards to my promotion of the end-otw-racism call to action, because I don’t know what else it could be referencing. [link]

princeescaluswords: Writing Doesn’t Happen in a Void [link]

mousieta: There is a place, a magic place, a giant, ever growing park filled with sandboxes of every color and shape imaginable. [link]

Twitter

spacebeyonceart: alright so I want to talk about this post I made two years ago now that the #EndOTWRacism ball is finally rolling. [link]

generalfrings: This shit makes me so goddamn angry, yall. [link]

eruthosish: One of the calls of #EndOTWRacism is to improve the AO3's Terms of Service and how the AO3 deals with fanworks that are part of an offsite harassment campaign, so I wanted to share a story about the only time I have ever reported offsite harassment and had Abuse agree with me. [link]

buttonthemdown: They've proven they can move quickly *when they want to*, but the fact the OTW hasn't made an official statement acknowledging their lack of action and pledging to do better sends a signal they don't care about their POC fans. [link]

Clonehub7567 Seeing the reactionary dismissals of #EndOTWRacism from white fans who pretend to care about racism is reminding me of the backlash i/we got for #UnwhitewashTBB. [link]

hydrochaeris3: ppl who are worried that not participating in the call to action will get them labeled racist..... first of all once again yall are showing that you care more about what others might label you than putting forth tangible effort into caring for a community [link]

m_sketchyart: If you think that #EndOTWRacism is censoring your escapism, here’s a thought to chew on: why is being anti-racist a threat to your escapism? Is true escapism not also leaving racism, antiBlackness, fatphobia, abeism, misogyny, etc out of your escapism? /rh [link]

lunedraws: Have you wanted to walk the walk and not just talk the talk, re: racism, in one or more of your fandom spaces? This is a concise and timely line of actions we can take. [link]

aliasmarionette: One thing I see a lot in #EndOTWRacism comments which are in favour of the status quo is assumptions about who we mean by fandom, and about the user base of the Archive. [link]

SapphicScholar: New profile photo while participating in the important fan-led campaign to demand that OTW make good on the promises it has already made to address issues it has already acknowledged as problems in the archive—that is, instances of extreme racist harassment and abuse [link]

Fansplaining: Since the endotwracism campaign has begun, we wanted to highlight the timeline they've put together about the OTW's communications re: hiring a diversity consultant since their initial statement of commitment in the summer of 2020. [link]

gwenpendrcgon: ive seen so much backlash over #EndOTWRacism which shouldnt surprise me (also majority of this comes from tumblr is also to be expected) but most if not all backlash received by this event is done is such bad faith and complete wilful ignorance [link]

fiercynonym: so op of the #EndOTWRacism post on reddit dm-ed me and the situation is even more fucked up than i originally knew??? [link]

kitschlet: seeing a lot of people confused about what the OTW can do to address racism [link]

generalfrings: poor AO3 maintaining a 'absurdly heavy site'. all that text! [link]

RukminiPande: Fan scholars should be paying attn to #EndOTWracism. [link]

Saathi1013: The thing to notice about all the assertions that people know who's behind EOTWR is like... Okay, there are a few things, actually [link]

buttonthemdown: If you think that victims of racism need to "develop a thicker skin" you're a fucking racist [link]

mousieta: if i could have people understand one thing abt #endotwracism right now is that This issue matters not because racism makes you feel bad, or uncomfy, or squicky but because racism is actively harming Real Living Breathing Fans right now. [link]

fiercynonym: okay so…you know how OTW has been saying, when asked at meetings, that they have a budget surplus of about USD $1 million? well…manogirl & i did some digging, and it might actually be more than TWO AND A HALF MILLION USD. [link]

runpunkrun: Speaking of OTW Board meetings, if you're interested in attending, here's what you need to know [link]

Dreamwidth

satsuma: A Chronic Habit of Avoiding Responsibility? #EndOTWRacism [link]

bcgphoenix: I have a lot of feelings about OTW and End OTW Racism as a book conservator/general preservation person, most of which verge into tl;dr territory. [link]

killabeez: Looking at past archive policies [link]

nyctanthes: End OTW Racism (Fannish Fifty #47) [link]

chestnut_pod: Be more democratic, be more autocratic, OTW [link]

Other sites

Lady’s Weblog: End Racism in the OTW [link]

The Rec Center: #384 Final Thoughts [link]

Stitch’s Media Mix: I’m Supporting #EndOTWRacism [link]

#end otw racism #racism in fandom #otw #ao3 #organization for transformative works #archive of our own #fandom racism #link round-up

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mourninglamby · 1 month

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i would pay insane money to hear about your thoughts on ctommy girlism because it’s actually such an important part of his character analysis to me

I’ve been wanting to make a patreon for stuff like this + art I don’t wanna post, so I’ve decided to go this route with the essay I will likely end up with based on this thesis. But I’ll use this post to summarize some thoughts im VERY confident about (and could be a sneak peek into what else the paper will entail)

C!tommy is fem-coded based off of fandom interpretation and reception, textual evidence, and meta analysis (will get more into meta in the big doc).

To start, a lot of this coding has to do with how he is victimized and why, which mainly concerns him craving approval from these older men (c!wilbur, c!dream, and even c!techno,) that he views as role models. Power imbalances are something that can also affect boys, yes, but this is where the coding comes in to set them apart. PLEASE REMEMBER Coding is used to identify traits that align with minority experiences, both good and bad. That does not mean c!tommy is LITERALLY a girl. It is a tool utilized in rhetorical analysis.

In this case, the constant subjugation of c!tommy by the men he yearns to trust, and subsequent self blame and denial when they hurt him fit into an experience closely associated with misogyny, and to go even further into the meta, a misogynistic view of feminine victimhood. The way c!tommy’s trauma interrupts his psychological and emotional development is received by thousands of fans who still deny his abuse even happened as “annoying”, “mean”, and “just as bad” as his perpetrator(s). This is observed from the existence of c!dream apologists and sympathizers, and to a more complicated extent, c!wilbur apologists. But I digress.

C!tommy is coded as feminine because in the majority of media centering victims of this kind of abuse, the character is a woman, and a woman can and will always be blamed for what happened to her. In the case of DSMP, this blame comes from the man who is protected by the spoils of his privilege as an oppressor, status in his community, and the many other people (predominantly young women) he has managed to manipulate to be in opposition to his victim. Fiction affecting real life and all…. Which is why I think this evidence of coding is so important.

To add another disclaimer for the bad faith warriors, being a victim does NOT make a character femme coded, however, the way he is treated in canon and the way the fanbase reacts to how he grapples with the lasting trauma is certainly rooted in misogynistic talking points.

Looking forward to writing more ^__^ thank u for being so interested anony. I’ve welcomed some friends who I trust very much to help me write it and I’m very excited.

addendum: there is no right or wrong way to interpret ctommy or dsmp or the response to how he was depicted... i only wish to start a conversation and get my thoughts out. if u disagree that is ur prerogative and i respect it <3

#dsmp #dsmp crit #c!tommy #setting to nobody can reblog for now #because I’m sure I’ll edit it later #this is also going to be used to support my claim that dsmp is post gender

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anotherhumaninthisworld · 7 months

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Frev Friendships — Saint-Just and Robespierre

You who supports the tottering fatherland against the torrent of despotism and intrigue, you whom I only know, like God, through his miracles; I speak to you, monsieur, to ask you to unite with me in order to save my sad fatherland. The city of Gouci has relocated (this rumour goes around here) the free markets from the town of Blérancourt. Why do the cities devour the privileges of the countryside? Will there remain no more of them to the latter than size and taxes? Support, please, with all your talent, an address that I make for the same letter, in which I request the reunion of my heritage with the national areas of the canton, so that one lets to my country a privilege without which it has to die of hunger. I do not know you, but you are a great man. You are not only the deputy of a province, you are one of humanity and of the Republic. Please, make it that my request be not despised. I have the honour to be, monsieur, your most humble, most obedient servant. Saint-Just, constituent of the department of Aisne. To Monsieur de Robespierre in the National Assembly in Paris. Blérancourt, near Noyon, August 19, 1790. Saint-Just’s first letter ever written to Robespierre, dated August 19 1790

Citizens, you are aware that, to dispel the errors with which Roland has covered the entire Republic, the Society has decided that it will have Robespierre's speech printed and distributed. We viewed it as an eternal lesson for the French people, as a sure way of unmasking the Brissotin faction and of opening the eyes of the French to the virtues too long unknown of the minority that sits with the Mountain. I remind you that a subscription office is open at the secretariat. It is enough for me to point it out to you to excite your patriotic zeal, and, by imitating the patriots who each deposited fifty écus to have Robespierre's excellent speech printed, you will have done well for the fatherland. Saint-Just at the Jacobins, January 1 1793

Patriots with more or less talent […] Jacquier, Saint-Just’s brother-in-law. Robespierre in a private list, written sometime during his time on the Committee of Public Safety

Saint-Just doesn’t have time to write to you. He gives you his compliments. Lebas in a letter to Robespierre October 25 1793

Trust no longer has a price when we share it with corrupt men, then we do our duty out of love for our fatherland alone, and this feeling is purer. I embrace you, my friend. Saint-Just. To Robespierre the older. Saint-Just in a post-scriptum note added to a letter written by Lebas to Robespierre, November 5 1793. Saint-Just uses tutoiement with Robespierre here, while Lebas used vouvoiement.

We have made too many laws and too few examples: you punish but the salient crimes, the hypocritical crimes go unpunished. Punish a slight abuse in each part, it is the way to frighten the wicked, and to make them see that the government has its eye on everything. No sooner do we turn our backs than the aristocracy rises in the tone of the day, and commits evils under the colors of liberty. Engage the committee to give much pomp to the punishment of all faults in government. Before a month has passed you will have illuminated this maze in which counter-revolution and revolution march haphazardly. Call, my friend, the attention of the Jacobin Club to the strong maxims of the public good; let it concern itself with the great means of governing a free state. I invite you to take measures to find out if all the manufactures and factories of France are in activity, and to favor them, because our troops would within a year find themselves without clothes; manufacturers are not patriots, they do not want to work, they must be forced to do so, and not let down any useful establishment. We will do our best here. I embrace you and our mutual friends. Saint-Just To Robespierre the older. Saint-Just in a letter to Robespierre, December 14 1793

Paris, 9 nivôse, year 2 of the Republic. Friends. I feared, in the midst of our successes, and on the eve of a decisive victory, the disastrous consequences of a misunderstanding or of a ridiculous intrigue. Your principles and your virtues reassured me. I have supported them as much as I could. The letter that the Committee of Public Safety sent you at the same time as mine will tell you the rest. I embrace you with all my soul. Robespierre. Robespierre in a letter to Saint-Just and Lebas, December 29 1793

Why should I not say that this (the dantonist purge) was a meditated assassination, prepared for a long time, when two days after this session where the crime was taking place, the representative Vadier told me that Saint-Just, through his stubbornness, had almost caused the downfall of the members of the two committees, because he had wanted that the accused to be present when he read the report at the National Convention; and such was his obstinacy that, seeing our formal opposition, he threw his hat into the fire in rage, and left us there. Robespierre was also of this opinion; he believed that by having these deputies arrested beforehand, this approach would sooner or later be reprehensible; but, as fear was an irresistible argument with him, I used this weapon to fight him: You can take the chance of being guillotined, if that is what you want; For my part, I want to avoid this danger by having them arrested immediately, because we must not have any illusions about the course we must take; everything is reduced to these bits: If we do not have them guillotined, we will be that ourselves. À Maximilien Robespierre aux enfers (1794) by Taschereau de Fargues and Paul-Auguste-Jacques. Robespierre and Saint-Just had also worked out the dantonists’ indictment together.

…As far from the insensibility of your Saint-Just as from his base jealousies, [Camille] recoiled in front if the idea of accusing a college comrade, a companion in arms. […] Robespierre, can you really complete the fatal projects which the vile souls that surround you no doubt have inspired you to? […] Had I been Saint-Just’s wife I would tell him this: the sake of Camille is yours, it’s the sake of all the friends of Robespierre! Lucile Desmoulins in an unsent letter to Robespierre, written somewhere between March 31 and April 4 1794. Lucile seems to have believed it was Saint-Just’s ”bad influence” in particular that got Robespierre to abandon Camille.

In the beginning of floréal (somewhere between April 20 and 30) during an evening session (at the Committee of Public Safety), a brusque fight erupted between Saint-Just and Carnot, on the subject of the administration of portable weapons, of which it wasn’t Carnot, but Prieur de la Côte-d’Or, who was in charge. Saint-Just put big interest in the brother-in-law of Sijas, Luxembourg workshop accounting officer, that one thought had been oppressed and threatened with arbitrary arrest, because he had experienced some difficulties for the purpose of his service with the weapon administration. In this quarrel caused unexpectedly by Saint-Just, one saw clearly his goal, which was to attack the members of the committee who occupied themselves with arms, and to lose their cooperateurs. He also tried to include our collegue Prieur in the inculpation, by accusing him of wanting to lose and imprison this agent. But Prieur denied these malicious claims so well, that Saint-Just didn’t dare to insist on it more. Instead, he turned again towards Carnot, whom he attacked with cruelty; several members of the Committee of General Security assisted. Niou was present for this scandalous scene: dismayed, he retired and feared to accept a pouder mission, a mission that could become, he said, a subject of accusation, since the patriots were busy destroying themselves in this way. We undoubtedly complained about this indecent attack, but was it necessary, at a time when there was not a grain of powder manufactured in Paris, to proclaim a division within the Committee of Public Safety, rather than to make known this fatal secret? In the midst of the most vague indictments and the most atrocious expressions uttered by Saint-Just, Carnot was obliged to repel them by treating him and his friends as aspiring to dictatorship and successively attacking all patriots to remain alone and gain supreme power with his supporters. It was then that Saint-Just showed an excessive fury; he cried out that the Republic was lost if the men in charge of defending it were treated like dictators; that yesterday he saw the project to attack him but that he defended himself. ”It’s you,” he added, ”who is allied with the enemies of the patriots. And understand that I only need a few lines to write for an act of accusation and have you guillotined in two days.” ”I invite you, said Carnot with the firmness that only appartient to virtue: I provoke all your severity against me, I do not fear you, you are ridiculous dictators.” The other members of the Committee insisted in vain several times to extinguish this ferment of disorder in the committee, to remind Saint-Just of the fairer ideas of his colleague and of more decency in the committee; they wanted to call people back to public affairs, but everything was useless: Saint-Just went out as if enraged, flying into a rage and threatening his colleagues. Saint-Just probably had nothing more urgent than to go and warn Robespierre the next day of the scene that had just happened, because we saw them return together the next day to the committee, around one o'clock: barely had they entered when Saint-Just, taking Robespierre by the hand, addressed Carnot saying: ”Well, here you have my friends, here are the ones you attacked yesterday!” Robespierre tried to speak of the respective wrongs with a very hypocritical tone: Saint-Just wanted to speak again and excite his colleagues to take his side. The coldness which reigned in this session, disheartened them, and they left the committee very early and in a good mood. Réponse des membres des deux anciens Comités de salut public et de sûreté générale (Barère, Collot, Billaud, Vadier), aux imputations renouvellées contre eux, par Laurent Lecointre et declarées calomnieuses par décret du 13 fructidor dernier; à la Convention Nationale (1795), page 103-105

My friends, the committee has taken all the measures within its control at this time to support your zeal. It has asked me to write to you to explain the reasons for some of its provisions. It believed that the main cause of the last failure was the shortage of skilled generals, it will send you all the patriotic and educated soldiers that can be found. It thought it necessary at this time to re-use Stetenhofen, whom it is sending to you, because he has military merit, and because the objections made against him seem at least to be balanced by proofs of loyalty. He also relies on your wisdom and your energy. Salut et amitié. Paris, 15 floréal, year 2 of the Republic. Robespierre. Robespierre to Saint-Just and Lebas, May 4 1793

Dear collegue, Liberty is exposed to new dangers; the factions arise with a character more alarming than ever. The lines to get butter are more numerous and more turbulent than ever when they have the least pretexts, an insurrection in the prisons which was to break out yesterday and the intrigues which manifested themselves in the time of Hébert are combined with assassination attemps on several occasions against members of the Committee of Public Safety; the remnants of the factions, or rather the factions still alive, are redoubled in audacity and perfidy. There is fear of an aristocratic uprising, fatal to liberty. The greatest peril that threatens it is in Paris. The Committee needs to bring together the lights and energy of all its members. Calculate whether the army of the North, which you have powerfully contributed to putting on the path to victory, can do without your presence for a few days. We will replace you, until you return, with a patriotic representative. The members composing the Committee of Public Safety. Robespierre, Prieur, Carnot, Billaud-Varennes, Barère. Letter to Saint-Just from the CPS, May 25 1794, written by Robespierre. It was penned down just two days after the alleged attempt on Robespierre’s life by Cécile Renault.

Robespierre returned to the Committee a few days later to denounce new conspiracies in the Convention, saying that, within a short time, these conspirators who had lined up and frequently dined together would succeed in destroying public liberty, if their maneuvers were allowed to continue unpunished. The committee refused to take any further measures, citing the necessity of not weakening and attacking the Convention, which was the target of all the enemies of the Republic. Robespierre did not lose sight of his project: he only saw conspiracies and plots: he asked that Saint-Just returned from the Army of the North and that one write to him so that he may come and strengthen the committee. Having arrived, Saint-Just asked Robespierre one day the purpose of his return in the presence of the other members of the Committee; Robespierre told him that he was to make a report on the new factions which threatened to destroy the National Convention; Robespierre was the only speaker during this session. He was met by the deepest silence from the Committee, and he leaves with horrible anger. Soon after, Saint-Just returned to the Army of the North, since called Sambre-et-Mouse. Some time passes; Robespierre calls for Saint-Just to return in vain: finally, he returns, no doubt after his instigations; he returned at the moment when he was most needed by the army and when he was least expected: he returned the day after the battle of Fleurus. From that moment, it was no longer possible to get him to leave, although Gillet, representative of the people to the army, continued to ask for him. Réponse de Barère, Billaud-Varennes, Collot d’Herbois et Vadier aux imputations de Laurent Lecointre (1795)

On 10 messidor (June 28) I was at the Committee of Public Safety. There, I witnessed those who one accuses today (Billaud-Varenne, Barère, Collot-d'Herbois, Vadier, Vouland, Amar and David) treat Robespierre like a dictator. Robespierre flew into an incredible fury. The other members of the Committee looked on with contempt. Saint-Just went out with him. Levasseur at the Convention, August 30 1794. If this scene actually took place, it must have done so one day later, 11 messidor (June 29), considering Saint-Just was still away on a mission on the tenth.

Isn’t it around the same time (a few days before thermidor) that Saint-Just and Lebas would dine at your father’s house with Robespierre? Lebas often dined there, having married one of my sisters. Saint-Just rarely there, but he frequently went to Robespierre’s and climbed the stairs to his office without speaking to anyone. During the dinner which I’m talking about, did you hear Saint-Just propose to Robespierre to reconcile with some members of the Convention and Committees who appeared to be opposed to him? No. I only know that they appeared to be very devided. Do you have any ideas what these divisions were about? I only learned about it through the discussions which took place on this subject at the Jacobins and through the altercation which was said to have taken place at the Committee of Public Safety between Robespierre older and Carnot. Robespierre’s host’s son Jacques-Maurice Duplay in an interrogation held January 1 1795

Saint-Just then fell back on his report, and said that he would join the committee the next day (9 thermidor) and that if it did not approve it, he would not read it. Collot continued to unmask Saint-Just; but as he focused more on depicting the dangers praying on the fatherland than on attacking the perfesy of Saint-Just and his accomplices, he gradually reassured himself of his confusion; he listened with composure, returning to his honeyed and hypocritical tone. Some time later, he told Collot d'Herbois that he could be reproached for having made some remarks against Robespierre in a café, and establishing this assertion as a positive fact, he admitted that he had made it the basis of an indictment against Collot, in the speech he had prepared. Réponse des membres des deux anciens Comités de salut public et de sûrété générale… (1795) page 107.

I attest that Robespierre declared himself a firm supporter of the Convention and never spoke but gently in the Committee so as not to undermine any of its members. […] Billaud-Varenne said to Robespierre, “We are your friends, we have always walked together.” This dishonesty made my heart shudder. The next day, he called him Peisistratos and had written his act of accusation. […] If you reflect carefully on what happened during your last session, you will find the application of everything I said: a man alienated from the Committee due to the bitterest treatments, when this Committee was, in fact, no longer made up of more than the two or three members present, justified himself before you; he did not explain himself clearly enough, to tell the truth, but his alienation and the bitterness in his soul can excuse him somewhat: he does not know why he is being persecuted, he knows nothing except his misfortune. He has been called a tyrant of opinion: here I must explain myself and shine light on a sophism that tends to proscribe merit. And what exclusive right do you have to opinion, you who find that it is a crime to touch souls? Do you find it wrong that a man should be tenderhearted? Are you thus from the court of Philip, you who make war on eloquence? A tyrant of opinion? Who is stopping you from competing for the esteem of the fatherland, you who find it so wrong that someone should captivate it? There is no despot in the world, save Richelieu, who would be insulted by the fame of a writer. Is it a more disinterested triumph? Cato is said to have chased from Rome the bad citizen who had called eloquence at the tribune of harangues, the tyrant of opinion. No one has the right to claim that; it gives itself to reason and its empire is not the in the power of governments. […] The member who spoke for a long time yesterday at this tribune did not seem to have distinguished clearly enough who he was accusing. He had no complaints and has not complained either about the Committees; because the Committees still seem to me to be dignified of your estime, and the misfortunes that I have spoken to you of were born of isolation and the extreme authority of several members left alone. Saint-Just defending Robespierre in his last, undelivered speech, July 27 1794

One brings St. Just, Dumas and Payan, all of them shackled, they are escorted by policemen. They stay a good quarter of an hour standing in front of the door of the Committee’s room; one makes them sit down onto a windowsill; they have still not uttered a single word, pleasant people make the persons who surround these three men step aside, and say move back, let these gentlemen see their King sleep on a table, just like a man. Saint-Just moves his head in order to see Robespierre. Saint-Just’s figure appeared dejected and humiliated, his swollen eyes expressed chagrin. Faits recueillis aux derniers instants de Robespierre et de sa saction, du 9 au 10 thermidor (1794) by anonymous.

The Committee of General Security was being spied on by Héron, D…, Lebas: Robespierre knew, through them, word for word, everything that was happening at said committee. This espionage gave rise to more intimate connections between Couthon, Saint-Just and Robespierre. The fierce and ambitious character of the latter gave him the idea of establishing the general police bureau, which, barely conceived, was immediately decreed. Révélations puisées dans les cartons des comités de Salut public et de Sûreté générale ou mémoires (inédits) (1824) by Gabriel Jérôme Sénart.

Intimately linked with Robespierre, [Saint-Just] had become necessary to him, and he had made himself feared perhaps even more than he had desired to be loved. One never saw them divided in opinion, and if the personal ideas of one had to bow to those of the other, it is certain that Saint-Just never gave in. Robespierre had a bit of that vanity which comes from selfishness; Saint-Just was full of the pride that springs from well-established beliefs; without physical courage, and weak in body, to the point of fearing the whistling of bullets, he had the courage of reflection which makes one wait for certain death, so as not to sacrifice an idea. Memoirs of René Levasseur (1829) volume 2, page 324-325.

Often [Robespierre] said to me that Camille was perhaps the one among all the key revolutionaries whom he liked best, after our younger brother and Saint-Just. Mémoires de Charlotte Robespierre sur ses deux frères (1834) page 139.

After the month of March, 1794, Robespierre's conduct appeared to me to change. Saint-Just was to a great degree the cause of this, and this leader was too youthful ; he urged him into the vain and dangerous path of dictatorship which he haughtily proclaimed. From that time all confidences in the two committees were at an end, and the misfortunes that followed the division in the government became inevitable. […] We did not hide from [Robespierre] that Saint-Just, who was formed of more dictatorial stuff, would have ended by overturning him and occupying his place ; we knew too that he would have us guillotined because of our opposition to his plans; so we overthrew him. Memoirs of Bertrand Barère (1896), volume 1, page 103-104.

About this time Robespierre felt his ambition growing, and he thought that the moment had come to employ his influence and take part in the government. He took steps with certain members of the committee and the Convention, asking them to show a desire that he, Robespierre, should become a member of the Committee of Public Safety. He told the Jacobins it would be useful to observe the work and conduct of the members of the committee, and he told the members of the Convention that there would be more harmony between the Convention and the committee if he entered it. Several deputies spoke to me about it, and the proposal was made to the committee by Couthon and Saint-Just. To ask was to obtain, for a refusal would have been a sort of accusation, and it was necessary to avoid any split during that winter which was inaugurated in such a sinister manner. The committee agreed to his admission, and Robespierre was proposed. Ibid, volume 2, page 96-97

The continued victories of our fourteen armies were as a cloud of glory over our frontiers, hiding from allied Europe our internecine struggles, and that unhappy side of our national character which acts and reacts so deplorably as much on the whole population as on our nghts and our manners. The enthusiasm with which I announced these victories from the tnbune was so easily seen that Saint- Just and Robespierre, being in the committee at three in the morning, and learning of the taking of Namur and some other Belgian towns, insisted for the future that the letters alone of the generals should be read, without any comments which might exaggerate their contents. I saw at once at whom this reproach was directed, and I took up the gauntlet with the deasion of a man willing to once more merit the hatred of the enemies of our national glory, and the bravery of our armies. Then Samt-Just cried, “ I beg to move that Barère be no longer allowed to add froth to our victories.” […] While Saint-Just was reproving me, Robespierre supported the longsightedness of his friend… […] The next day my report on the taking of Namur was somewhat more carefully drawn up, and I alluded to the observation of my critics, who were envious of the power of public opinion in favour of our troops, then busied in saving the country. This phrase in my report was much commented on, although its meaning was only clear to those who had heard the debate in the committee on the previous evening “Sad are the tunes, sad is the period, when the recital of the triumphs and glories of the armies of the Repubhc is coldly hastened to in this place! Henceforth liberty will be no longer defended by the country, it will be handed over to its enemies!”This pronouncement was not of a nature to be forgiven by Saint-Just and Robespierre, so they determined to supplant me with regard to these reports. They forced that idiot Couthon to attend the Committee of Public Safety at eleven in the morning, before I got there Couthon asked for the letters of the generals that had come in during the night, and took his usual seat at the back of the hall, waiting until the assembly was sufficiently full for him to announce the victones. About one, Couthon, being paralysed and unable to stand up in the tribune, coldly read the news from the armies from his place. This time, no effect was produced in the Assembly, or upon the public. This attempt, authorised by Robespierre and Saint-Just, having missed fire completely, the committee signified its dissatisfaction at the innovation. Ibid, volume 2, page 123-125

After his return from Fleurus, Saint-Just remained some time in Paris, although his mission as representative to the armies of the Sambre and Meuse and the Rhine and Moselle was unfinished. The campaign was only beginning, but he had several projects in hand, and he stayed in committee, or rather his office, where he was always absorbed and thoughtful. Robespierre, in speaking of him at the committee, said familiarly, as if speaking of an intimate friend: ”Saint-Just is silent and observant, but I have noticed, in his personality, he has a great likeness to Charles IX.” This did not flatter Saint-Just, who was a deeper and cleverer revolutionist than Robespierre. One day, when the former was angry about several legislative propositions or decrees that did not please him, Saint-Just said to him, “Be calm, it is the phlegmatic who govern.” Ibid, volume 2, page 139

This tyrannical law was the work of Saint-Just Consult the Momteuv of the 22nd of Germinal, where it is reported with the explanation of his motives, and you will see that, if there had been no committee, SamtJust would have used his power with as much dictatorial fanaticism as did Manus, that great enemy of the Roman anstocracy. Robespierre’s fnend never forgave me for having dimmished the force of this blow. Whilst I was at the tnbune of the Convention, he came, with someone unknown, and perused my register of requisitions. He took down certain names, and some days after, towards midnight, Robespierre and Saint-Just entered the committee, where they did not usually come (for they worked in a private office, under pretext that their duties were completely private) A few moments after their entry Saint-Just complained of the abuse I had made of the requisitions, which had been granted, said he, in such profusion that the law of the 21st of Germinal had become null and void. Ibid, volume 2, page 146

Robespierre, Saint-Just and Couthon were inseparable. The first two had a dark and duplicitous character; they pushed away with a kind of disdainful pride any familiarity or affectionate relationship with their colleagues. The third, a legless man with a pale appearance, affected good-nature, but was no less perfidious than the other two. All three of them had a cold heart, without pity, they interacted only with each other, holding mysterious meetings outside, having a large number of protégés and agents, impenetrable in their designs. Révélations sur le Comité de salut public by Prieur-Duvernois

Robespierre, who had great confidence in Le Bas because he knew his wise and prudent character well, had chosen him to accompany Saint-Just, whose burning love of the fatherland sometimes led to too much severity, and who had a tendency to get carried away. […] [Saint-Just] also had friendship for me and came often enough to our house. […] Finally our providence, our good friend Robespierre, spoke to Saint-Just to engage him to let me depart with them, along with my sister-in-law Henriette. He consented, but with some conditions. Memoirs of Élisabeth Lebas (1901)

Volume 8 — page 153. ”Saint-Just, his (Robespierre’s) only confident.” His only confident? Élisabeth Lebas corrects a passage in Alphonse de Lamartine’s Histoire des Girondins (1847)

The Lamenths and Péthion in the early days, quite rarely Legendre, Merlin de Thionville and Fouché, often Taschereau, Desmoulins and Teault, always Lebas, Saint-Just, David, Couthon and Buonarotti. Élisabeth Lebas regarding visitors to the Duplay’s during the revolution

—

When arriving in Paris in September 1792, Saint-Just first lived on No. 7 rue de Gaillon up until March 1794, and then on No. 3 rue de Caumartin (today’s No. 5) up until his death. Both those places were within a ten minute walking distance from Robespierre’s home on 398 Rue Saint-Honoré.

Saint-Just was away from Paris (and therefore Robespierre) on missions between March 9 to March 31, October 17 to December 4, December 10 to December 30, January 22 to February 13, April 30 to May 31 and June 10 to June 29.

#sj and max holding hands 🤗💓#robespierre #saint-just #maximilien robespierre #louis antoine de saint just #barère #élisabeth lebas #philippe lebas #frev #frev friendships #long post #saintspierre

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drdemonprince · 3 months

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it's not super related, but since you mentioned ageism in the dating scene in the transmisandry essay on substack it reminded me how a couple of my friends have started posting online how they're disgusted about gay men being predatory to younger guys........ and when asking about it turns out we're talking about 35yo people flirting with like, 23 year olds, *both being adults with jobs* and it's just so frustrating to misunderstand relationships of power like that and thinking that power just materializes with age (among other things). I'm not sure how to tackle this conversation with my friends because they're super defensive about it (both are transmascs who got groomed online by older men when they were pre-transition teens). I understand why it's a touchy subject for them, but I feel like they're just spreading around that old trope of gay men being more likely to abuse teens than straight men.

man i am so sick of the homophobia that's considered acceptable in """""queer""""" (ready theyfab and friends) circles, and the fucking age gap hysteria. I just saw a couple on the Grey Furs (old furries) facebook made by a couple where one partner is 36 years old and the other is 61. When they met well over a decade ago, their age difference would have been something that a lot of the freaks on this webbed site would consider to have been predatory, and now they're *both* people that that crowd would treat like creepy old people.

it's always people who had a ton of privilege and isolation as kids and went away to college right after high school who foam at the mouth about age gaps being inherently predatory and younger adults being incapable of consent. meanwhile if you have ever worked in a retail space or a kitchen or any other number of regular degular working-class jobs you learn really fucking quick how little of an indicator age is of a person's maturity and whom they can be friends with. you'll routinely see 27-year-old-managers in charge of both 19 year-olds and 58 year-olds and yeah, sometimes the 58 yo and the 19 yo are friends! It turns out when you share in daily activities and labor with someone you can really respect them as a fellow person and have a ton in common with them and that what unites us is not our age demographic but our class position!

not to mention the rank hypocrisy of "be gay do crimes" types suddenly acting like the state is the ultimate moral arbiter when it comes to the ages of people in relationships and begging for the carceral justice system to intervene the moment they find someone else's relationship "creepy."

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sweetcarolina-24 · 7 months

Text

Spoiled Little Princess

Azriel x Reader

This is an excerpt from Stargirl. Stargirl is originally Rhys's sister x Azriel in first person pov, but I changed it to second person for this post.

cw: just angst and a harsh reality check for reader

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It had been over a year and a half since you and the boys had built the tree house. But only Azriel and you still used it.

It was a late night, your favorite time to be up there. You had chosen the highest tree, so you could see the stars out of the windows.

Azriel passed the bottle of wine you were sharing, and you sipped at it, though you were already a bit drunk.

"I hate my life," you admitted. He let out an irritated scoff. "How could you possibly hate your life?" he demanded. "You have everything." "Then why doesn't it feel like enough?" you wondered.

"Because you're a spoiled princess," he spat. Your eyes snapped to his. "I'm not a--" "You throw a tantrum when you don't get your way. You've had everything handed to you," he pointed out. "I have not," you pouted. "The worst thing that has happened to you is that you have to live in these mountains," he went on. "And your days here consist of eating breakfast, doing your lessons, having lunch, ice skating, and then eating dinner. You grew up in a castle--" "It's not a castle," you argued. "It's huge," he retorted. "You've never gone a day without three meals. You've never had a night where you weren't comfortable in a bed. Your mother loves you more than anything--" "Okay, I get it," you seethed. "I don't have a right to be dissatisfied with my life." "You have no idea how easy you have it," he realized with a scoff. "It's insane to me. You have never suffered." "Isn't that a good thing?" you snapped. "It's an incredible thing," he replied. "I'm happy that you didn't have the upbringings Cassian and I did. It's just irritating to hear you complain." "Just because I wasn't locked away in a cell for eleven years doesn't mean I can't be upset," you glared. "The other girls here hate me because I didn't have my wings clipped." "Would you rather that they did clip your wings?" he demanded. "Would you rather the life my mother had?" "Of course not," you denied, shaking your head. "But it isn't my fault they weren't clipped. So why are the girls so mean?" "Because their lives have been terrible," he snapped. "You don't realize how the other females are treated here. They don't have high status parents to shield them from abuse." "So they're jealous," you shrugged. "Of course they are," he said. "They've been tortured their entire lives, and you're this privileged little princess--" "But I don't deserve the way they treat me," you insisted, tears stinging your eyes. "I never said that," he said softly. "I just mean--"

"I don't care what you mean," you grumbled, pulling your knees to your chest.

One of his shadows came over to you and stroked your cheek, as though attempting an apology for Azriel's harsh words.

But he was right. You didn't know what it was like to truly suffer. You'd spent your life in comfortable bliss, throwing a tantrum at the slightest of inconveniences.

You just took a long sip of the wine, refusing to pass it back to Azriel.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

#acotar #acotar angst #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #azriel x oc #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #light angst #acotar fanfiction #angst

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cursedcola · 2 years

Note

I want mine to be a crack post. So the dorm leaders + Sam(whom they’re buying the supplies from) reacting to mc buying prank supplies and scaring Crowley just for fun.

A/N: Aight. I gotchu. I love writing crack mm mm mmm it's the good juice. We love torturing bird-man in this house. Especially after he threw us in that dirty-ass dorm like we were trash. Like, you expect me to sleep on dust covered sheets with spiders making a nest in the corner? Nah. This isn't Cinderella bestie and we have standards.

Setting the Scene <3

MC to their love interest after being Crowley's bitch for yet another day: Listen. The F*ck. Up. We will not be taking this abuse. We will not be taking this absolute DISRESPECT. Okay, we have a saying back on "earth," and it's called "hoez mad". Which is me. I am the hoe and I am mad. And you? You are my accomplice. You see this ring???

*waves promise ring in their face*

THIS is the ring that YOU gave me when I snagged you up and made you mine. The chain of foreverness that you imposed on my alien-ass-self.

I pulled your emo-wannabe ass back from the brink of valhalla and you will be paying me back - at a very unfair trade on my end - today. We are destroying whatever pride that cocky pigeon has and we are doing it now.

Riddle Rosehearts

-100/10. Will not comply or even be associated

bitch he isn't getting in trouble for you??? The fuck you think he's going to do?? Collar the headmaster?

The moment you step out of that door, he's tattling - no cap

Best drag him by the ear because he'll throw you under the bus

does not pass the vibe check

threatens to break up with you if you get him in trouble

so YOU threaten to break up with HIM if he doesn't at least carry your stuff

aight. he's in. it was a bluff so please don't dump him

he will cry and then stuff his face with tarts

he doesn't understand how covering everything in Crowley's office in tin-foil will make you feel better? but go off I guess

The entire time he is just complaining about how you both are wasting resources and time.

Riddle really needs to stop ruining the fun (T ^ T)

Leona Kingscholar

"That's hot"

Likes when you get mad lol Crowley should piss you off more often

He’ll watch but won’t do nothin

Another spoil sport in that he thinks it’s too much effort

He’s got some balls considering he’s no better than Crowley

Deadass is this a relationship or are you his servant

Okay that’s Ruggie’s job not yours

Speaking of, he suggests just making him doing it or the literal man children you babysit (*cough* deuace *cough*)

Lets you drag him by the foot to Sam’s shop. Why fight back?

Watches you swap Crowley’s toothpaste for mayo and wonders if you should really be considered future royalty

Doesn’t trust you around his food or personal items when you’re pissed at him

Azul Ashengrotto

“Can we get icecream after?” (〃ω〃)

Yes Azu, we can get nommies after but you must pull your weight

Man is Simp? Simp do anything for affection? Need I say more?

The BEST at covering tracks too. One bat of your eyelashes and he’ll buy out Sam’s store just to make you happy

Has a bit too much fun. One taste of rebellion and all the pent up r a g e from getting his businessman privileges revoked blossoms

They grow up so fast . He’s a natural born criminal

You wanted to do something small scale, like swapping the sugar for salt in Crowley’s coffee. He lets you, but goes the extra mile

Azul says “go big or go home,” and uses his henchmen to spam Crowley’s close conspirators with complaints from ‘student families,’ and essentially throws all of NRC’s shady business *cough*ghostbride*cough* back in Crowley’s face

Now the headmaster is up to the neck with work

Are you proud of him? He avenged you both and barely moved a fingie

Azul accepts payment in cash, credit, or kisses pls <3

Kalim Al’Asim

“Pulling pranks isn’t nice MC”

“And neither is nearly giving me a heart attack with diabetes tea. Quit complaining and move-“

You must trick the sunshine to comply

This is a game and the headmaster is happy to be pranked! It’s all in good fun Kalim~

He comes up with dozens of ideas but settles on on you pick bc he loves u

Anything to make his treasure happy ^_^

If worse comes to worse he can just throw some money to pay for the next school event so you don’t get expelled

You both get to work on covering the floor of Crowley’s office in plastic cups full of water

And…Kalim does not get the memo and blocks your way out *facepalm*

No problem tho! He calls his magic carpet through the window and it rescues you both from the makeshift island, also known as Crowley’s desk

Did he just step on important trade documents? Oops-

Fwoooooosh you both are out the window and safe

Thank him because you both were actually caught, but he payed off the snitches to not say nothin

All in the name of love so you get a taste of sweet sweet revenge

Vil Schoenheit

Uhm…no 💅

Too much effort

Honey why do you even want revenge? Keep stressing like this and you’ll be a potato for the rest of your life

Is that a potato spore or just a dry patch of skin? Nono dear lets go put that money towards some skin care products okay?

Ugh

U g h

Fiiiiiiiiiiine. One prank. And it better be both small and still funny

A schoenheit does not waste their time. We must be efficient with the best results

Which is why we are putting hair dye in Crowley’s body wash. J u s t enough to stain him a lovely shade of baby blue, okay?

Okay

Rook will do it. He’s better at being a cockroach on the wall anyways

Now lets do our nails. In exchange for helping you, Vil is picking the color. No, you have no rights in this exchange

Idia Shroud

“Alright” （；￣ェ￣）

…….

Yes, it’s that easy. He hates conflict

With you and ortho. He doesn’t mind messing with other people

Especially since that rotisserie chicken confiscated his talking tablet at the last ceremony

Idia wants vengeance. If it wasn’t for you, he would airdrop photos of Crowley picking his nose to the entire campus

Instead he settles for something more basic. For you. Because you don’t know how to have fun 😒

Special orders truth peppers from sam’s black market. All you have to do is eat one and you can’t tell a lie for at least a month

Idia does his little techy thing with the cafeteria camera so you can slip it into Crowley’s lunch (that you are forced to bring bc he treats you like an errand boy)

A few hours later, you both are chilling in Idia’s room with nommies and watching Crowley make a fool of himself by spilling his secrets

Cruel? A bit. Necessary? Yes

Malleus Draconia

“Is this what you like to do for fun? Have I misjudged your character”

Mans is so down. He wants to be a little rebellious

And damn is he e v i l

Like y’all forget that he is a powerful wizard. You think he hasn’t made a potion or two for his own purposes

He doesn’t even give you room to think. Just shoves a coin purse in his pocket and poofs you both into sam’s store

Nearly giving said tradesman a heart attack but whatever

“I need everything here and whatever you have in the back,” malleus purchases enough to make an alchemy lab in your dorm

And conjures the most v i l e smelling potion you have ever seen with a smile

And a little evil cackle for measure. Lilia taught him that no good villain is worth their salt without an evil laugh

He leaves you with a kiss on the forehead to go “do the dirty work,” and doesn’t even tell you what’s up

He…turned the headmaster into an actual bird

But like, Crowley can still talk so all you hear around campus is him squawking for someone to fix this

It’s pretty obvious who pulled the prank. Malleus is the only one powerful enough to make something even Trein can’t reverse

You both end up in the slammer

Still better quality than Ramshackle tho

Sam ze Tradesman

Cha-ching 💰💰💰💰💰

He knew there was a reason he liked you

Has Sam ever mentioned that you are his favorite wallet student??

No?

Well you are

He sells you anything and everything you want. No questions asked and a firm believer of snitches get stitches

If he gets caught tho then you’re on your own

Jk he wouldn’t do is favorite customer like that

Or would he???🤔💭

Well. Maybe not so long as these pockets of his stay stashed with cash

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 2 months

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I'm the anon who asked that one ask you didn't make. Let me rephrase that, just in case the first one was too much.

How about the M6 who saw MC burying their head underwater when they cry? MC has this habit of hiding their problems and always keeps a strong persona in front of everybody. But when they breakdown, they go to a stream, a lake, the bathhouse, whatever place that has bodies of water so that they can put their head in the water and scream out their tears and inner conflicts. Because when they do this, nobody can hear them cry underwater.

Hopefully this one is more acceptable than the other one. Thanks, Brainrot. I'll try to be more considerate for the others :)

Hi anon,

I want to be clear from the beginning of this that what I'm saying is not coming from a place of anger or hate. Rather, there's been a small but growing trend in my inbox lately that I want to address, and this request is one of the clearest examples of it. I intend no harm against you and I'm not requesting any kind of apology, I'd just like to give some boundary reminders.

I understand your frustration with your first request not getting written. The opportunity to have content for a favorite set of characters custom made to your ideas is exciting! Much of the time that it doesn't happen, it's because there's more mini-hcs in the inbox than I can write, or it's because due to the amount of traffic through it some of the asks get lost. (I still write well over 90% of the prompts that come in, though, which is how my current posting output is roughly 2 full headcanons, a Vesvuvia Weekly prompt, and 21 mini headcanons a week!) It's why I usually don't mind receiving a request a second time in case there wasn't space for the first one ^.^

However, I still have the right to pick what I do and don't write. While my guidelines are written with the comfort and safety of my readers in mind, they are primarily there as my own personal boundaries. Writing about things like waterboarding, torture, child abuse and neglect, toxic relationships etc. without a context of healing, recovery, and personal growth is and always has been off the table. I chose not to write your earlier, more extreme prompt because it would violate the boundaries I outlined in my pinned post, and I'm choosing not to write this one either for the same reasons. I don't judge you for wanting to consume content with those themes (we all have our tastes, and that's okay!) but I'm not going to compromise my own boundaries or mental health to write something that's meant to be a free gift of my own creativity. There are other authors you can ask for those themes who would be happy to provide.

I don't bring this up often because I don't want to ruin the chill vibes, but I do in fact do this for free. I clock easily 30+ hours of work a week putting content on this blog alongside my full time job - and that is work that I am happy to do! I'm privileged enough to do this without needing to monetize it, and I find my reward in being able to share my writing with people, make friends, and create joy where I can. Even if I did depend on this for my livelihood, that still wouldn't entitle anyone to my services. I'm immensely grateful to the people who send me their ideas and support my work and give me feedback, but the work I do for the people on my page is out of joy and love, not obligation.

For the few anonymous requesters who send me prompts with disturbing content outside my guidelines, I understand that not everyone has an interest in checking my boundaries (listed in my pinned post) first. I'm not angry about that. However, I in turn have no interest in writing for requests that disregard those boundaries. Those requests are not entitled to being fulfilled or responded to.

To the vast majority of my readers and requesters, thank you!! Your ideas are a constant source of creative delight and your feedback and interest and joy light up my page. You guys are the best and have a special place in my heart :)

Cheers,

brainrot

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game

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the-other-art-blog · 3 months

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Richard Gunningworth: *ignores Sophie for years, barely acknowledges her existence, makes her feel unloved, gets married without considering Sophie, does nothing to defend her against his wife’s abuse, doesn’t take the proper measures to secure her future if he dies*

The Bton fandom: “I think Sophie’s father really loved her. He must have been in love with her mother. Yes! It was forbidden love! Poor baby, he ignored Sophie because it was too painful to see her.”

Violet: *loses the love of her life when she was 8 months pregnant, suffers depression, has a traumatic birth, suffers post-partum depression, recovers and dedicates her life to raise her children and makes sure her children live a HEA*

The Bton Fandom: “what a horrible mother, she should have been there for Anthony. She’s an absent mother! She’s the worst.”

Make it make sense.

If Violet would have died and Edmund would have crumbled, everyone would have made excuses for him. Stop acting as if Anthony raised those children alone. Violet was depressed for a while, but then SHE raised them. And before Edmund died, they were loving and involved parents.

People forget too easily all the damage Richard did to Sophie.

Let's just recap all the shitty things he did in the book.

He abused his power as a wealthy heir to take advantage of a poor maid.

He left said maid alone, even when he knew there was a possibility of getting her pregnant. And yes, we don't know why she left, but if he cared he would have done something.

He let Sophie live with him because he had to. The book is clear in that he is not happy about her arrival and decides to treat her as a ward. Now, yes, this technically gave Sophie many opprtunities, but he only did it to safe his reputation. He made her pay for his mistakes.

He abandoned her in the country while he spent most of the year in London doing who knows what. Sophie grew up completely alone, except the servants. She had no friends ebcause everyone knew she was an illegitimate child.

When he is in the country, he barely spent time with her. Although I believe he asked for reports from the governess and knew she could be an accomplished woman.

He married Araminta without ever considering Sophie. If he cared about Sophie, he would have mentioned her to Araminta before proposing to her. No loving father would have made any decision without making sure that his new wife treated his daughter with respect. In fact, Araminta was treated as a fool here too, cause she deserved to know. As horrible as she was, she deserved to know Sophie existed, and the fact that Richard didn't think it important to tell her shows how privileged and horrible he was.He was a very wealthy earl, he could have had anyone. He was only 36 years old and if Sophie looked like him, he should have been handsome.

When he presented to the whole staff, he totally forgot about Sophie. He wasn't even planning on making a formal presentation!!! That scene breaks my heart cause Sophie beams when he tells her he didn’t see her. Like how despicable you have to be to make her feel like she’s forgetable and more insignificant than a scullery maid. Let’s not pretend that this messed up with Sophie’s self-esteem.

He didn’t take measures to protect Sophie’s dowry. He left her money... and then what? There were no further instructions on what to do with her. Did he plan to arrange a marriage? How could he have trusted Sophie’s only opportunity for a good life to a woman who hated her?!?!?!?! An ambitious woman who only cared about money and status.

He was aware of Araminta’s treatment towards Sophie and he allowed it. As horrible as Araminta was, the only reason why that woman came near Sophie was Richard. And Sophie knew it.

I know the dowry was extremely important to Sophie, and it does prove that he acknowledge her existence and his responsibility. But honestly, it wasn’t enough. Even if he was already thinking about a future for Sophie where he dies, he could have been more specific in the will. Or, he could have left instructions to his lawyer. What if Sophie didn’t find a husband? Could she have gotten access to the money? I do believe he would have searched for a decent man, but I don’t think he planned a HEA for Sophie, merely a man willing to overlook her illegitimacy. I don’t think they would have had contact once Sophie got married.

And frankly, the fact that people tend to brush off his conduct and abuse and just focus on Araminta pisses me off. Men really can get away with everything.

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!!!!!

Richard made Sophie carry all the weight of his crimes. He went on being an earl in London and being wealthy and influential. Sophie couldn’t have done anything, she was just a child. The servants didn’t have the power to defend her either. And then Benedict came and he tried to do the same. He wanted her to carry with all the shame of being a mistress while he continued with his life. But this time Sophie could say no and forced Benedict to make sacrifices.

#bridgerton #benophie #richard gunningworth #sophie beckett #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #araminta reiling #feels good to let this out

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enkephallic · 22 days

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Limbus Theory: S3 Lust, Why Hong Lu May Distort

This contains spoilers for the 2nd update of canto 6.

Please employ self-defense as needed.

---

I already touched upon this in another post, but I think there is a lot of meaning behind the sin types of each identity. But for each canto, I think what comes into play is the LCB Sinner ID.

...Which is why I think it's very fitting that Heathcliff is the first to feel the Carmen touch.

Heathcliff's skill set is S1 Envy, S2 Wrath, S3 Lust. The first two were fairly easy to figure out, because he's quite outwardly resentful of the rich and privileged. And this stems from the anger and unfairness at his abuse and mistreatment he faced.

But I was confused of S3 lust, until canto 6 rolled around.

I interpreted lust as the ultimate purpose to exist - they have something they believe in, something they love, something that is basically their whole reason to keep going.

And if that's taken away, they tumble into despair and mental ruin. Which is the case with Heathcliff after he hears of Cathy's death, and the events that followed. His own self coming to confirm that his purpose itself was his sin, that his existence at Wuthering Heights itself was a mistake.

He believed in this one purpose. To be the man Cathy would turn her head to. It's why he stayed in an awful environment for so long, and why he left. Why he joined Limbus and why he returned. His whole life had been rendered meaningless, according to this revelation.

Distort!

...Okay, what has this got to do with Hong Lu.

Hong Lu is the only other sinner ID with S3 lust - a strong belief in something, central to his very existence. He's a very mysterious and elusive sinner, but he has some uncommon and strange beliefs that tie into him as a person.

His sense of normal is insanely warped. The way he deals with pain almost seems like he's dissociating, like it's not himself experiencing it. He has showed a lack of understanding that his experiences are not universal. He doesn't seem to be upset about others being mean to him, or being in life or death situations.

My theory is that he's normalized some horrific things as a way to cope with his home environment, leading him to believe some extremely abnormal occurrences and abuse were completely fine.

And when that 'normal' is flipped on its head, it won't look pretty at all.

Moreover, a very interesting thing is that Faust uses Hong Lu as an example when explaining distortions. That if a firmly held belief or something else is taken away, a distortion may happen. To which Hong Lu replies that he may have such belief, but he's forgotten about what it was.

With Limbus being the way it is about foreshadowing, I will not be surprised at all if Hong Lu distorts in Canto 8.

#limbus company #theory #lcb hong lu #lcb heathcliff

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iamsonny-j · 4 months

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This was originally going to be in reply to @glowinggreeneyes-e post about the Captain's education and career path...but then I got carried away because I'm so normal about this stuff so it's now its own post...with added angst because I have no control over any of this, my brain just goes.

So for a start the Captain would have gone to a public boarding school. I think it's worth pointing out that public schools and universities operated scholarships for students from less wealthy backgrounds. We're still talking middle class and upper middle, but not always full on wealthy and privileged in the way of someone like Julian. Cap strikes me as having the background of a family well enough off but he probably always had to work hard to prove himself for his place, maybe not so much for public school but definitely for university.

Whatever school he attended would have had an Officer Training Corps junior division. Basically cadets. This would lead to the possibility to do an exam (written and practical) to get what was called certificate A to show he had participated in the OTC.

From the Button House Archives it says Cap got to the front in WW1 at armistice and so never saw action. So I imagine he finished his studies at school in the summer, enlisted and completed basic training, and then was out to Europe just in time for things to end. Because he got his certificate A at school he had the option at university to join the OTC university division. This was a route to becoming a commissioned officer. You either needed certificate A or experience in the ranks to join. For the sake of argument, serving in the army for a couple of months wouldn't count as experience so he must have had the certificate A...

University options at that time were limited to Oxbridge, Durham or London. All of those had OTC. I think London can be ruled out...only because it was busy, loud and ugly, even then (sorry London friends!) and the Captain likes wildlife and the countryside and nature walks...I can't see him thriving in London.

Training with the OTC at university involved physical training, military strategy, history and law etc. The Captain would have had to complete 2 years training before he could have done exams for his Certificate B - practical and written. Passing the exams would have entitled him to a commission on graduation. Getting Certificate B wasn't common because of the amount of work involved and dedication required to be successful. It was hard!

Like I want to point out that to get that far would have required so much effort and dedication right from being a child. And this is where I will get sad and headcanon-y for a bit (let me have this one thing out of all this research!)

Bullying and abusive rituals were a big part of public school life at this time and any boy seen as even slightly different would have been targeted for sure, even by some of the teachers. So although Cap comes across as clever and capable at what he knows I think school would have been socially really freaking hard. For a child in that situation I could see the OTC being a respite and something the Captain would have found very comforting with the set rules, order and expectations and from there you can understand why career army would have been appealing...

And I think that's when things get a bit complicated. The army was his life but in a different way to officers who wanted to be on the front line, like Havers. Obviously Cap worked extremely hard for his commission - and he was obviously very well qualified and knowledgable in his areas of interest, but he was always ever going to be best at HQ tasks like intelligence or engineering or whatever his particular career skills were - loving the army in theory, but some of it would have always been out of his reach. And I think being in a public school during WW1 and hearing of so many former pupils (some he would have known personally as seniors, prefects or head of houses) losing their lives on a daily basis during WW1 would have had a huge effect on him and probably influenced some of the guilt about not having the opportunity to fight himself, but ultimately I think he probably knew that wasn't his part to play even with WW2.

And I think all that that shows in his interactions we see in his past as CO - he was obviously doing a good job at whatever secret little operations he had but he really didn't have the skills/personality needed to be a CO. Having someone like Havers as a second hid that (and that's also seen in Havers getting 2 promotions in 4 years...he was much more of a natural CO) and I wonder if a lot of affection that Cap had for Havers originally came from the fact that Havers not only respected him as CO but he was also just kind to him and saw a person worthy of affection - rather than the CO that everyone tolerated but secretly disrespected and laughed at (just look at how all the other officers couldn't wait to come down on him in 5.05)

And then he lost Havers. But still had to command up to 150 men and operations at Button House for the next 4 years. And it's obvious from the letters and information in the Button House Archives that he really REALLY did try and I think with considering everything it's no wonder he overcompensates a lot and that's where he's at in the first couple of seasons of Ghosts; fighting for authority and trying to do his best.

Last sad point because it does relate: When he died Havers gave Cap the swagger stick to hold - Havers still called him 'Sir' even though he outranked him at that point. I don't know if I can begin to unpick all of that, but there's definitely something in there about respect, belief and the burden of responsibility that he clearly took seriously into his afterlife not wanting to let Havers down both personally and professionally.

If you read all of this I love you and respect you and appreciate you for appreciating my level of not normal xD

#bbc ghosts #the captain #i missed sharing infodumps so much #please feel free to add

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