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a-shrieking-cloud-of-bats · 1 year

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steam christmas sale hootenanny 2022

as you may have all recalled last year I professed being tired of roguelites and how they’re frequently very similar and sort’ve repetitive and a million of them are being made a second so in response to my own criticism and to attempt to shatter my sense of self once and for all I bought a bunch of five dollar roguelites this year and am loving them. I got some other stuff but I’m not covering it in here because nobody wants to hear me talk about CK3 for six paragraphs, I’m not qualified to talk about horror games, and I want to make a unique post on unreal world and maybe villains and kings later. Also this ran kinda long honestly. I must be getting better at this! Or worse. Either way.

as always most of these reviews are with maybe like an hour or two in the game; if there’s some sort’ve deeper flaw that only becomes apparent with extended playtime I Don’t Know About It Yet

PlateUp!

I probably don’t have to introduce you to this one. It’s been all over youtube and twitch and has had a surprising amount of longevity on the platforms.

You run around and prepare food and serve it to people. A bit like Overcooked if it was a roguelite instead of an arcadey story mode party game thing. There’s automation, you get conveyers that can move plates and food and such around and with effort you can automate the preparation of dishes, and, if you’re very good, maybe the entire restaurant. Your restaurant gets upgrades that effect how customers behave or what dishes you serve, and while the selection is pretty basic and nothing gets too complex, the clear focus of the game is on the automation elements.

I’m enjoying it ultimately, even if I’m having a hard time having strong opinions about it! It’s sort’ve derivative but it successfully transforms overcooked into a roguelite and executes the concept well, and will probably set off a wave of overcooked-likes (that will almost certainly instead be called PlateUp-likes). I’m not running into any glaring technical issues either.

Take a look if: You enjoy technical games about automation, ala factorio, or are looking for a hectic party game for up to four people.

Dome Keeper

Unlike PlateUp I’m unsure how much dome keeper has punched into the mainstream. I know at least one pseudo famous youtuber played it, and I think northernlion hit it at some point, but he’s in his super auto pets era and if I’m honest it seems like he will never leave it. But I’m also not even sure what “youtube mainstream” constitutes anymore.

Dome Keeper is exactly the sort of innovation that I was talking about when I was on my anti roguelite kick last year. We’ve had a load of roguelites that are essentially transformations of other genres of games, usually twin stick shooters (BoI) or platformers (Dungreed comes to mind, though I’m having a hard time remembering a mainstream one; I’m sure it’s out there somewhere). Dome keeper, though, is a unique setup. I guess you’d call it a member of the sort’ve thinly populated 2d mining genre. if you recall Motherlode that’s an example, but the removal of gravity as a major factor of movement is arguably a significant mechanical decision that might shift it away from that, depending on how you look at it. Genres are made up though, so who cares.

Dome Keeper is a game where you’re a little space man that crashes on an alien planet, and your glassy spherical orb spacecraft is under attack by minimalist shadow creatures. When they aren’t attacking, you go underground and dig up minerals, floating around the tunnels and attaching tiny tethers to mined mineral deposits, and carrying them back up into your base for processing into materials for upgrading your capabilities. As you explore, you might find large upgrade “chips”, and hauling those back up to the base unlocks a standard roguelite style upgrade called a gadget. Your goal ultimately is to unearth a relic, buried in the ground, deep beneath the surface, in much the same way as you might dig up minerals.

As time passes, monsters attack. To defend yourself, you have to manually (mitigated with some gadgets) fly back up to your dome and take the helm, controlling a rotating laser turret on the outside of the dome (additional game modes can change this, the one alternative currently is a Sword Dome, whatever that means). It’s clunky and slow and upgrading the weapons along with your mining and movement efficiency is the crux of the game. Too much mining efficiency and it’s a scramble to find that relic before your dome shatters, and too much combat efficiency and you’ll eventually be overrun, because at the end of the day, it’s still a clunky defense system, that clearly isn’t suited to the task at hand.

Gadgets range from in dome fixtures that give you active abilities, like an electric shield or a tree that grows fruits that increase your movement and mining speed, while ensnaring enemies outside with its roots, to a simple mining pulse or a little creature that the game calls “Drillbert” that digs for you autonomously. Drillbert, unfortunately, cannot fly, and you have to haul him around the same way you do minerals. Honestly it’s hard to pick upgrades that seem particularly “unique” because they’re all kind’ve neat and play well with the genre!

Visually the game utilizes a limited color pallette, primarily black and yellowish-gold and low resolution pixel art, your main dude is maybe like... 8x8? Tiles are much larger, probably closer to 32x32, and mineral chunks and most other interactables are about the size of your guy or a bit bigger. It’s not the first time I’ve seen it, but it’s a good look.

It’s probably not the game I’m going to play the most out of the set, but it’s certainly the one I appreciate the most aesthetically. But I’m a sucker for retro video game shit.

Take a look if: You’re going to scream if you see one more roguelite platformer, but you still like the genre overall.

Going Under: Internships are heck

Now we’re gettin somewhere. I’ve only seen this game mentioned in one place and it recieved glowing praise, and while it’s far from a horrible bomb on the steam store, it’s not exactly raking in a thousand reviews a day either.

Going Under is a roguelite about a college student that’s joined a startup as an intern that shuffles her off to another company to be a member of their marketing team. Except she arrives, and the company has a problem with little goblin creatures crawling up from their basement, and she’s quickly relegated to dealing with them instead, to her dismay. This probably gives you an idea of what the game is shooting for tonally, and while Capitalism Jokes are a dime a dozen, the game doesn’t push it too hard, and manages to avoid making itself into a cynical mess that makes me miserable just looking at it. I’ve said it before, but I’m not generally a fan of Capitalism Jokes because there’s quite a lot of it already, but the game executes it well enough, even for me.

You spend the majority of the gameplay in the basement, beating the hell out of goblin creatures with... whatever you can find. And that’s the crux of the gameplay, you can grab anything in the environment and bash enemies with it. Keyboards, laptops, giant tablet pens, chairs, you name it. Items break in a few hits, and all have individual stats. A chair breaks quickly and does a lot of damage, a keyboard is a nice middle ground, and a laptop breaks near instantly and stuns the other guy because, well it’s an electrical appliance. I’ll let you do the math there. It’s a neat gimmick and it never gets old breaking keyboards over goblin heads, and if you’re a Gamer the combat is surprisingly unforgiving. I haven’t even managed to get past the second floor yet, and I played it quite a bit.

Upgrades take the form of “mentors” and skills, you get skills within the basement in special rooms ala Binding of Isaac, and as you use them more a meter fills up. When you hit 100%, you can start with that skill. It’s a nice way to encourage usage of more conditional skills, as you can start with them in an environment where they’re more likely to succeed. It also helps with the content treadmill effect, without giving you a bottomless shop or list of achievements to empty out. Lookin at you Binding of Isaac. Mentors are more unique and tie into the ground floor of the company, where you interact with your co-workers and the plot takes place. Co-workers give you quests, and as you complete those quests you get them as mentors, which provide various passive benefits. The tech girl gives you an additional slot for “apps”, or active abilities, the Tech Bro CEO gives you the ability to overspend on an item once (which literally shackles you with debt, a ball and chain around your ankle that slows your movement, but can be used to bash enemies), the marketing lady gives you more cash, and so on and so forth. A thematically appropriate system that gives you more options, which is really what these games are all about I think.

Plot is decent enough. A lot of it is just socializing with co-workers, and naturally they’re all mildly exaggerated versions of people you might find in a workplace. They’re likable enough, except when they’re not supposed to be, then they’re a bit obnoxious. There’s a shadow person subplot going on judging by the trailer, but I’ve not got there yet. I imagine someone that gets more out of the corporate humor thing would probably enjoy this more, but I’m a goblin and I only like video games and talking about video games on the internet. But I don’t dread it or anything either. They’re fun enough, even if there is quite a lot of dialogue.

Ultimately I like it a lot! I’m kind’ve dreading playing it more because I’m afraid I’ll spend all day on it. I adore the improvised weapons thing, and while upgrades can be a little passive, I can respect that it might just be a game that expects you to play it and not find a combo of upgrades that finishes the game for you, which is certainly something that can get old after a while in the genre. Ultimately I don’t think this is a game for a middle aged midwestern guy working a minimum wage job, but it doesn’t have to be, because even aside from the plot, it’s just fun.

Take a look if: You’re looking for more of a zelda-ey action game in your roguelite, rather then resource management and long range attacks. Special mention if you enjoy corporate humor stuff.

Cavity Busters

Cavity busters is one of those twin stick shooters that I rail on about all the time, which means my distaste of generic roguelites has come full circle. Or has it?

Gameplay takes inspiration mechanically from the binding of isaac, but excels in being just... super frantic and active. Your basic shot is a tooth you fire out of your dental gum head, that you then retract with a separate button, You have no fewer then three mobility options (wall running, dodge roll, and jumping, the latter of which is not what you think, we’ll get there), and you and the bullets move at a breakneck pace. The game has more relation to shmups then twin stick shooters, and it’s more about reacting to bullets and enemies with mobility options, rather then carefully moving through a maze of slow moving hurtboxes. Upgrades drop randomly and contribute to the erratic nature of the game, as they can be either standard upgrades or “infections”, which either debuff you if you take them, or make the enemies stronger if you leave them. If you’re holding still you’re probably thinking about an infection, and if you’re not you’re skittering around at an absurd pace. You don’t have any designated “break rooms” in this game, you’re in it and you’re moving all the time.

Mobility in the game is defined mostly by your high move speed and ability to dodge roll through bullets, but wall running, activated by dodge rolling into a wall, gives you brief invulnerability and an even faster movement speed boost, in exchange for being locked to the wall until you hop off. Jumping doubles as a teleport in rooms without enemies, ensuring you’re always only a minute or so from a fight, and in combat is a strangely climactic defensive option that lets you relocate to anywhere in the room, including to where your enemies aren’t shooting. You can also bounce off stunned enemies, but it’s mostly the relocation. I have a similar reaction to a clutch jump in cavity busters as I do to any other mechanical execution highlight in any other game, it’s an odd choice but it works.

I enjoy it ultimately! It’s a weird game in a lot of ways, and it bears a striking similarity to other titles, but the focus on mobility feels unique and I personally cannot get enough meat stages in video games.

Take a look if: You’re looking for a grungy, gross, undeniably visually distinct roguelite.

Risk of Rain 2

I played risk of rain 1 and loved it, and heard the announcement about Risk of Rain 2. Why didn’t I jump in on the ground floor? As I recall I had a weird, honestly nonsensical concern that they were cashing in on the IP or some stupid shit. I think I had a weird hookup on “well risk of rain 1 ended this way so it can’t continue!!” or something? I dunno. You might be detecting a theme with how I process information. Anyway, I’ve finally gotten on board and it’s about as incredible as I should’ve expected it to be.

Risk of Rain 2 is a run and gun roguelite in 3D, I believe the first and only mechanically 3D roguelite, and it works with it. Enemies spawn randomly, both in the air and on the ground, and your job is to find the teleporter to the next stage while paying chests to open for you and stacking item modifiers. The timer is a major element in risk of rain, as enemies spawn more frequently the longer the timer runs, so finding the teleporter quickly is important. This factor was in Risk of Rain 1, but it was 2D so finding the teleporter wasn’t too bad. It’s much easier to get lost in Risk of Rain 2, and lose valuable time.

Bosses are summoned when you interact with the teleporter, and they are Huge. Risk of Rain 2 honestly handles the third dimension better then some games that have been operating in it for years and I love it. Giant jellyfish floating through the air, a beetle matriarch that towers over everything nearby, a giant stone robot, they’re all large, intimidating, and begging to be shot in the face specifically. I don’t know if it does extra damage but it feels like it should. Compare this to something like Skyrim where flying enemies are specifically not in the game because players might have to look up, and you might find yourself wondering why they did that at all. A low budget indie game managed to work it out fine, after all, through aerial enemies having low damage and acting more as an augment to the chaos, rather then a legitimate threat.

A major variation on the standard (for the time, risk of rain belongs to the earlier generations of roguelikes) formula for Risk of Rain is that you can stack multiple copies of the same item, and you should. A heavily stacked item multiplies effects, and can easily break a run wide open. That mushroom that heals you rapidly while you’re standing still might make you essentially immortal on a high stack count, near instantly restoring your entire health pool. And Risk of Rain 2 added a function to facilitate this, namely 3D printers. 3D printers take one random item and turn it into another specific item, allowing you to convert potentially less useful items into making one item stronger. It’s honestly a natural upgrade method for the game and I wonder why it didn’t happen in risk of rain 1.

Risk of Rain 2 is fucking great and honestly it sort’ve puts last years complaints about generic roguelites in a funny place because it’s honestly not that different from the standard formula. It also has me thinking about how underutilized the air is in most game design spaces and that’s honestly wild as hell.

Take a look if: You’re looking for just a slight shakeup on standard roguelite mechanics.

#bats writes #steam christmas sale #reviews #long post

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dinofelissnow1985 · 5 months

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Of Birds and Butterflies

by DinofelisSnow1985

Chapter 12

The Healing Fever passed within a few days and Red got bored when he was well enough again to not sleep away the whole day.

So Sans helped him learn for the Junior High School Test he wanted to take as soon as he could.

Sans read paragraphs to him, asked questions about it to test Red's memory and understanding, and when things were confusing they looked them up together and watched educational videos online.

Red liked the history documentaries, those were easy to understand. Why historical figures acted in a certain way and why things turned out the way they did. Why kids still had to learn from dry, musty books and chew boring dates and facts while the same stuff could be quite interesting when taught orherwise, was beyond him.

When he asked Sans about it the lazy Beta couldn't give him an answer either.

Whatever.

After Red got more knowledgeable about history, geography, math and surface biology he started a pun war with Sans, that had them both in stitches after only a few minutes.

After they recovered, they fell into a comfortable silence for a moment.

Then Sans became curious.

"Hey Red. You already told us about your childhood and life. But, what about your Toriel and Asgore? I mean, when Tori came over to examine your old injuries that first time, you clearly knew who she was, but you were obviously surprised that she was the Lady behind the Ruin's door."

Red sighed, thinking. "Ever'ne knew 'bout de queen, Ass-Gore made sure 'f it. 'T's call'd prop'ganda, Sans. 'E paint'd 'er a trait'r. M' f'ckwar' 'f a broth'r swore ta fin' 'er someday, bu' if she's in da Ruins, 'e c'n keep lookin' fer 'er 'ntil k'ngdom come. Heh, serv's 'im righ'."

Sans looked a little uncomfortable. "So, he isn't just all bark and no bite in your AU, huh. Our Asgore is a big softie and ridden with guilt about killing the humans that fell into the Underground, especially since they all had been kids."

Red snorted. "Fuck no! 'E's nothin' bu' LV and br'tality beneath his shaggy fur, an' 'e is proud of ev'ry EXP 'e 'as on 'is name. 'E blames the first kid, de one dey 'dopted, fer causin' de death o' de prince.

I 'eard rumors 'bout 'im eatin' de bodies of de humans af'er 'e 'arvested deir Souls. Dun know if tha's tru tho."

...

Sans looked at Red, horrified. "That's pretty sick, you know that, Cherry pop?"

Red blushed at the nickname, but shrugged it off. "Ya, i know. Dere's a lotta whisperin' goin' on in mah world. De King go' insane from too much LV, de King's a cannib'l, eatin' other monst'rs, pris'ners, alive, 'e drinks deir blood an' Magic, 'e isn't a monst'r anymore, sooner er later 'e'll flip completely an' kill of ev'ry monst'r in de unnergroun'. Dat's de most famous ones, but dere're more, fer ev'ry monst'r in de unnergroun dere're ten rumours goin' 'round. An' when ya know de King, ya won' be able ta tell what's true and what not."

A chill ran down Sans' spine. Following a sudden, strong urge, he hugged Red and buried his face in the neckbrace. "I'm so glad you made it here," he whispered, and Red could hear how close the tears were.

He hugged Sans back as best as he could with his still healing broken shoulder and immobilized spine. He felt the other needed this.

"'T's okay, Sansy. 'M with you an' yer fam'ly now, an' i sure as hell dun plan on ev'r goin' back agin.

Heh, i take it yer King's a walkin' talkin' plush toy, when hearin' of mine rattles yer bones tha' much."

Despite being half in tears Sans couldn't help the snort-laugh that escaped him. "That's so cheesy. I should call you 'pizza'."

They remained silent for a short while, before Sans started speaking again, his face still buried in Red's uninjured shoulder. "Hey, um, that bastard... did he... you know... too?" Sans feared the answer.

"Yeah," quiet and unspectacular. "Jus' covered mah pelv'c inle' wi' a layer a Magic. Woul' i have formed anythin' 'e woulda ripped me open. S'ill almos' broke mah ass... bu' i thin' dat's too much information."

The last few words were choked out because Sans had tightened his grip on him to a crushing quality.

"Everytime i learn something new about you or your world i get more horrified by it,... and amazed by how much you have endured and survived so far. Do you have any idea, how amazing you are?"

Red felt his face grow hot at Sans' words and didn't know what to say or do.

They stayed pressed together like that, eventually falling asleep.

Feeling Sans so close soothed Red's mind and kept any nightmares away.

#undertale #underfell #underswap #sans au #pregnancy #child loss #hurt/comfort

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s-guacamolearts · 3 years

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Since I took a break from U.K., I decided to look at what I've got so far and maybe fix some mistakes, but either way, some extra info on the main cast (SPOILERS AHEAD).

Frisk: The protagonist of the story. Even after being killed, they still came back, and now try to figure out what happened, and try to get back to humanity.

Flowey: A suspicious looking buttercup. Pretty much maintains his old personality, although, something isn't clearly the same.

Hayde: A member of the Royal Guard. Despite being in san's position, Hayde is far less lazier, and actually (try at least to) do their job. In short they're far from san's personality.

Papyrus: One of the most important members of the Royal Guard. After Undyne couldn't function in the Royal Guard, he ended up taking her place. However, if something happens that even Papyrus can't figure out, he can always ask Undyne if he can't figure it out on his own. Or he just comes to visit her. He often constructs puzzles with Hayde if they need some extra hands. I could ramble about papyrus for an eternity, but there's just way too much to cover.

Alphys: The Royal Scientist. Despite the Amalgamates having been discovered, Alphys managed to keep her job due to the situation they've been put in after the barrier was destroyed. She has helped with building the city (aka Hotland/core) and some great other stuff. But, there's still something laying deep beneath Alphy's lab...

Undyne: The former Royal Guard Leader. Due to health conditions after barely surviving in her undying form (which can be seen on her ears) she couldn't function properly as a leader anymore. However, she still gives sport training to whoever wants, and assists Papyrus with his job. I also could talk about undyne, but I'll come back to her an other day.

Mettaton: He's the star of monsterkind. He still has his TV show which he runs with Napstablook and Shyren. After being heavily damaged on the genocide run (not killed) Alphys managed to save him, and give some upgrades to him. He also asked the dummies for assistance, so we can say he reunited with his family.

Toriel: The queen of monsterkind. After the barrier was destroyed, Asgore left the throne to her after somewhat calming the whole situation they were put in. Toriel is still making her pies, but struggles to maintain any sort of plants, which explains the lack of them in her house and throne room. She has complex feelings regarding Asgore.

Asgore: After leaving the throne he takes care of the graveyard in the former throne room. He also takes care of surface home, a place where monsters that we're to terrified to go too far from the mountain live. Some even still live underground. Asgore is capable of maintaining flowers and plants in a healthy condition, but struggles on cooking (he's still improving).

Muffet: A spider that runs a successful bakery. Thanks to advice from a certain person with a hidden face, she ended up lowering the prices, but ended up selling more of her food, yet get the same amount of money. However, she can still get quite greedy.

Mystery man: an unknown being, trapped in the void where no one will remember you (except some followers who are referring to Gaster, and a few monsters. Nobody actually confirmed that this thing we call Gaster is actually Gaster, he could be someone else.

Chara and Asriel: the two dead children of Asgore and Toriel. Chara and Asriel gave somewhat changed their appearance, but their roles haven't changed much. Chara (my headcanon) reawoke as a narrator, while Asriel is still flowey.

Sans: He's dead. That's it. Little to no people know the true reason why his life came to an abrupt end. And his fate is undetermined.

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thekingofwinterblog · 3 years

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Getter Robo Retospective - Getter Robo Part 1 -Ryoma Nagare

So, Iv’e been wanting to do an overall retrospective of the Getter Robo manga franchise for a while now, and since the Getter Robo Arc is nearing it’s finale as of the time of this writing, and will either give it a definite ending, or be the final nail in the coffin that the series will never be finished before Getter Robo falls into public domain, I thought now might as well be the time to do it.

As such, I’ll be doing an overall analysis over the entire collection of Ken Ishikawa’s Getter Robo manga series, it’s plots, themes, characters, and covers the various ideas this crazy and amazing sci-fi series covers.

Also, this retrospective will NOT cover the various anime adaptations, or the behind the scenes stuff that has gone on with Getter Robo over the years, such as Go Nagai being credited as the writer of the original manga despite only having come up with the overall concept and designs for it(the rest was by Ken Ishikawa), or the way that Ken went back and added in some extra chapters in the original two manga to explain some things and to tie the early manga more closely into what came after.

For the purposes of this retorspective, I will be focusing exclusively on the manga itself, and what it has to offer, without going into anything else.

And of course there is no place better to start, than the beginning.

So, what is the story of the original Getter Robo Manga?

Well, the overall plot of the original manga is about the conflict between two sides of a conflict, as laid out rather well in it’s prologue chapter.

The first is our protagonists, the Saotome Institute of Japan, who’s leader and namesake has invented the titular giant mecha, the Getter Robo.

Powered by a revolutionary newly discovered form of energy called “Getter Energy”, this enormous metal behemoth is a fighting machine unlike any other.

This war machine was originally supposed to be used for space exploration, but due to necessity, it has instead been reworked into a fighting machine.

It’s only weakness is that it requires 3 different living pilots to operate it to draw upon its full strength.

Opposing the Saotome Institute, is the forces of the Dinosaur Empire

An empire of humanoid Sentient Dinosaurs that long ago was forced to flee the Earth’s surface after it was bombarded with a strange kind of energy from space that was deadly to their kind, their only way to survive being to use their incredible technology to hide on the only place on Earth where the rays couldn’t reach them. The Earth’s very core.

Now, after millions of years underground, and the rays that forced them beneath the earth to begin with having seemingly ceased, they have finally returned to reclaim the earth’s surface for their own. At it’s disposal, it has incredible technology, and giant cyborg dinosaur monster in it’s quest to wipe out the newcomers, the human race, to achieve total dominance over the Earth.

If you think this premise sounds very generic, and you’ve seen it in some form or another in countless other Mecha series, you are not wrong. Ancient evil group attacking the protagonists, and only the new giant robot can stop it, probably the biggest stock plot in mecha overall, having been done in everything from Neon Genesis Evangelion to Megas XLR in some form or another. The set pieces and details are different, but the overall plot is the same.

However, where Getter Robo fits into this, is that it was one of the first giant robot manga there was, and many, many of the tropes and ideas it pioneered would be used and imitated by its successors.

In fact, I would argue that Getter is the second most influential mecha series in history, only second after it’s big cousin, Mazinger Z.

However, we are not here to detail how it influenced the manga industry, but how Getter holds up on it’s own, and in this regard, despite having a plot that has been overused time, and time again by it’s successors, this isn’t really that much of a problem for Getter Robo. Because like any good Mecha series, Getter’s biggest strength is it’s cast of characters.

Starting off in chapter 1, we are introduced to the first of the Robot’s giant pilots.

Ryoma Nagare.

Each of the pilots of Getter Robo is given an introductory mini-arc to set them up, and Ryoma’s is easily the best of the 3.

We are introduced to the main character of most of the franchise at a very unusual spot to open a main character, especially for a Shonen protagonist.

At the end of a revenge story.

To put it bluntly, Ryoma does not start off this series as a particularly likeable, nor good person, as his introductory scene is him crashing a perfectly legal martial arts tournament and beating the everloving shit out of it’s referee, it’s participants, and the judges who arranged it.

His reasons for doing all of this?

Revenge for his old man.

As it turns out, Ryoma had a massive beef with the arrangers for this contest, as his father, Ichigan Nagare was a pro karate champion back in the day, whose reputation was purposely destroyed by those arrangers.

Now he’s come to take revenge by utterly crushing their disciples on national television, to hammer in the point that his father’s martial arts was superior to theirs for all the world to see.

During this whole thing, we also get a very good look into how Ryoma thinks at this point in time.

When the arranger tries to appeal to the “Sacredness” of the Sport to get him to stand down, Ryoma laughs in his face, proclaiming that there is nothing sacred about combat at all. The only thing that matters is who emerges as the victor.

This is backed up by how he doesn’t show the least bit of compassion or honor to the first of the contestants he defeats, easily smashing him to the ground then gloating over him after having demonstrated the sheer difference in the combat prowess between the two of them.

He is very blunt about the fact that he believes that one should pursue strength for strenght’s sake alone, and never stop until you have crushed anyone who stands before you. Always train to get stronger, and always seek out those who can challenge you and beat them too.

Might makes right.

This is a REALLY good introduction for showcasing Ryoma as a character. How he thinks, his immense near superhuman strength, his ruthlessness, his pride in his own strength.

It also ties in directly into the themes of this series, as this kind of thinking is essentially Evolution itself boiled down to it’s bare core. The survival of the strongest. What is the point of Evolution after all, if not this? Those with the traits to survive and thrive will do so, while those who cannot, will be crushed by those who can, who in turn will pass down what made them successful to begin with.

Of course that is not what the actual message of this series is, but it is a concept that this series is rather blunt about, and it’s not a coincidence that the most prominent of all the main characters of this series began his journey while believing wholeheartedly into that ideal.

All in all this scene is just great, and it sets up Ryoma really well, as well as making it clear that this is a boy who has a lot of growing to do as a person.

And so, having achieved his life’s work that he’s trained for for years and years, Ryoma nagare quietly leaves the arena, leaving behind a dozen bruised, battered and broken men on the ground.

Of course this display of power has not gone unnoticed, as in the audience were two men from the Saotome Institute who came here hoping to find someone strong enough to pilot their giant robot.

As it happened, they just found one that fit the bill rather spectacularly.

Then in the next scene we are showcased Ryoma’s home.

Ryoma Nagare, a fighting genius that at the tender age of 16-17 smashed the greatest karate practitioners in Japan with ease while being outnumbered a dozen to one, lives in a ramshackle part of town, in a rundown old building that has broken windows, a leaking roof, and can at best be called a ramshackle cottage.

It’s a rather brutal contrast to the sight of the prestigious, well made and maintained karate tournament building we were just in.

Inside we find the sight of something else rather unusual for a Shonen protagonist. Having now achieved his goals, and avenged his father’s memory, Ryoma is slowly starting to come to the realization that this has all been one giant waste of time. He hasn’t actually earned anything on this journey. His father is dead, he’s still poor, and his only belongings is this shitty building and the clothes on his back.

As we learn here, Ryoma has spent his entire life being trained in martial arts, to insane degrees even for an adult man, much less for a child. All for the purpose of one day doing what he did today, and avenging his father’s memory.

This scene really hammers in the fact that for all his ridiculous strength, Ryoma is a child, and he has a child’s way of looking at things.

He thinks back fondly on being pitted against stray dogs in death matches, and he reveals here that in his mind, this was all about “Redeeming” martial arts somehow, as if this display would really change anything in the grand scheme of things within the sport.

It wasn’t of course. This was all about revenge. Everything Ryoma ever trained for was for this moment, this moment of what should have been absolute and total triumph as he achieved a truly spectacular victory and proved his father’s fighting style the best in all the land and he has proven that he himself is the strongest fighter in all Japan.

Instead he is coming to the realization that so many people that wasted their lives on vengeance have come to over the years. That it was all a giant waste of time.

Revenge is a suckers game.

Having achieved his goals, Ryoma has found them to be completely empty, and has nowhere to go. This is a really fascinating way to open up a character arc, as usually a character that learns the lesson that David Xanatos knew so well, happens either at the end, or somewhere later down their line. Ryoma however, learns it in the very first chapter, and now has to find something else to live for.

However, his soul searching is then interrupted by a few gentlemen from the Saotome institute.

Who immediately tries to kill him.

Now before I discuss the next part, I wanna praise this overall scene, because it really works great within the context of this chapter.

Ryoma has been introduced as a massive asshole, who firmly believes in the mantra of Might makes right, and he doesn’t feel any regret at having brutalized a dozen of innocent people, just the fact that he realizes that there was no real satisfaction to be had from it. Now the other shoe drops, and HE is attacked in his own home, completely unprovoked for reasons that frankly he has no personal involvement in on his own side. While this attack does have an in universe reason behind it, it main purpose is that it serves as a nice cathartic moment for the reader, as while he’s never going to legally punished for what just happened at the tournament, he is punished by the narrative for his actions, which is something i’ve seen far, far too many stories do over the years fail to do with asshole protagonists.

It also serves to put Ryoma’s current belief in Might Makes Right to the test. After all, aren’t these men doing exactly what he said that those who practice martial arts should do? Seek out those stronger than them, then crush them.

All of this makes it a shame that it is horribly undercut by the one, genuine stain on the original manga. Namely that one of the attackers is this guy.

And it’s at this moment you realise, oh yeah, this was made in 1970’s Japan. The unfortunate fact is that Mangaka of this period generally based their depiction of black people on early American comics(Which had plenty of this kind of artwork), and Ken Ishikawa was unfortunately not an exception to this rule.

He would THANKFULLY not repeat anything like this later down the line(his depiction of black people is far more natural and realistic in later manga), but hot damn is it both uncomfortable and distracting to read the pages with this guy. And it’s a real shame too, because frankly, not only is the following fight scene very good as a narrative punishment for Ryoma, but it’s just a good fight scene in general.

Unlike the Tournament fight, which was mainly a beatdown to establish Ryoma’s ridiculous strength, this is an actual fight, which showcases Ishikawa’s ability to draw energetic, exciting fight scenes where action flows very naturally.

It also shows that for the kind of ridiculous strength Ryoma possess, he isn’t some superhuman, as early in the brawls he’s heavily wounded by the rather mundanity of taking a throwing knife to the shoulder. This is in general something that makes action if Getter Robo stand out from other shonen series too. When characters, or Robots for that matter, takes hits, they rarely shrug them off with no problem, instead taking real, genuine damage that doesn't just instantly go away. They might power through them, but that isn’t the same as them disappearing into the ether.

In any case, the battle ends up outside the house when Ryoma is thrown through the wall.

He’s then forced to do the classic, catch the blade between the palms of his hands trope, which is depicted much more believable than most cases I’ve seen, as despite succeeding, it still left him bleeding from those palms.

Ryoma then redirects the blade into the big guy who is attacking him from behind, killing him. I really love how the artwork sells that this is a desperate move on Ryoma’s part. He is genuinely fighting for his life here, and he’s pulling out every trick he has to to win despite his wounds.

He then follows that up by ripping the blade out, and throwing it at the knife thrower guy. I also like that after doing so, he immediately falls flat on his ass, in a rather realistic manner(he is fighting in the rain after all, so the ground is undoubtedly pretty slippery.), while also showcasing the force of the throw. My only main complaint is that for this one panel Ken forgot to include the wound and the knife on his shoulder, as I think it would really sell just how desperate Ryoma is here if we’re visually reminded in the moment that, oh yeah, he’s powering through and using the arm whose shoulder has a knife in it to to throw this thing.

Thankfully, that missed opportunity for visual grittiness is more than made up for by the next part.

Having now effectively won the battle(I think the swordsman broke his foot in the fall, at least that’s how it looks), Ryoma suddenly realises that, holy shit, he just killed someone. The contrast between here and how he looked as he challenged the tournament fighters couldn’t be more different. The cooky, arrogant youth is completely gone, and you're reminded that Ryoma is just a kid. A kid who just had to kill someone. The bravado is completely gone, leaving only a kid who is tired, confused, in pain, and probably pretty scared.

He is then approached by the man who just had 3 grown ass men jump and attack him, Dr. Saotome.

Wounded, and mentally exchausted as he is, he is in no position to argue as Saotome declares that Ryoma is what he’s been looking for, and as one of his men rips the knife out of his shoulder, Ryoma screams before losing consciousness from the pain. Afterwards he is dragged into a car, and bandaged up.

Then as they're driving, the’re attacked by a giant flying dinosaur that grabs unto the car and flies away with it, Ryoma and Saotome barely managing to get out in time, alongside one of Saotome’s unlucky goons who breaks his neck in the fall.

And so ends Chapter one of Getter Robo.

All in all, other than the horribly racist black guy, this is a really good first chapter, that sets up Ryoma Nagare really, really well, showcasing his way of thinking, his origin, and where he needs to grow, while also showcasing his ludicrous strength, and that he is fully capable of going balls to the wall to win a fight, which will be showcased many, many times in this series. It also ends on a reminder of the fact that oh yeah, this is a series about one side vs dinosaurs, as Ryoma gets his first introduction into the enemy he will be fighting time, and again in this manga. It also gives a distinct first impression of just how ruthless Saotome is, as he is perfectly willing to send 3 dangerous goons on a teenager just to test his prowess in battle, which is absolutely going to come into play in future chapters.

All in all, it’s a good start. Not an amazing beginning, but certainly a good introduction to our first main character.

#Getter robo #getter robo retrospective #ryoma nagare #character study #getter robo manga #dr. saotome

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dodo-begone · 3 years

Note

ALRIGHTY! LOYAL HERE COMING IN WITH THE CIRCUS HAHAHA

Btw, I’m like 90% sure that I fell asleep while writing so it just stops. Like, there’s no ending/summary/whatever word I’m looking for but can’t think of at the moment and my bird is currently chewing on my phone case oh my god can she please stop—

__________________

I believe the concept of yanderes ft. a isekai-d reader has been mentioned by Shepard and her anons, tho it’s been mainly for Origins SMP. So, I come to you with ideas for the Dream SMP because that’s all I’m familiar with HAHAH—

Also, I apologize in advance because this thing is borderline an essay with how long it is. I’m so sorry—

For example *cue dramatic lighting and a cheesy flashback monologue thingie* oh my god I think I’m losing it, I’m so tired

Y/n and their younger sibling, Frisk, had just finished up another press conference regarding Monsters being back on the surface. All seems to be going well until the ground beneath their feet vanishes and they fall unconscious a few moments later. When they awaken, they notice they’re surrounded by humans—wait they aren’t all humans, what the fuck, since when are there hybrids? They knew everyone from the underground—by name, no less—and had never heard of any currently living hybrids. Only of ones from before the war. Besides, Monsters have been on the surface for a month at most, so there is no way for... oh boy, their head is spinning.

After some very...tense...introductions (“Hi, I never saw you guys Underground, nor have I heard of you, no offense. So, uh, which monsters are you guys related to?” “OI, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TUBBO IS NOT A MONSTER!”) they come to the realization that y/n is most definitely not from this world, or even this universe. Y/n’s adamant refusal to fight the “real monsters” that roam this land (“I did not spend countless timelines weeks putting my life on the line to befriend every monster, break the barrier that trapped them Underground, and defend them against my own god forsaken race just to turn my back on them.”) was a pretty big sign, after all. That, along with species of monsters that the SMP members have never heard of and how y/n talked about Souls as if they were a tangible thing.

It’s a rocky start before any sort of friendship is formed: y/n, wanting to be cautious, (and also not having Sans there to CHECK for them) decides to ask everyone what their LV is. It’s risky, and they had no way to prove if anyone is (or isn’t) telling the truth, but it was worth a shot. “Our levels?” A small goat hybrid asked, his head slightly tilting to the side. Everyone assumes that y/n is talking about enchantment levels. “I’m at 26! Ranboo, you’re at 30, right?” “I’m at 37 now, actually.” “Well, I’M at 58. Clearly I’m the superior one here. A real big man, a very manly man, aren’t I?” And a few others pipe in. Color drains from y/n’s face and they take a few steps back, hands shaking as their eyes dart between each person in the room and the exit. ‘How many lives have they each taken to make their LOVE so high? Why do they seem so proud of it?’ Yeah... that was an interesting experience.

- even though they have been reassured multiple times that the monsters of this world are nothing like the ones from their home, y/n still refuses to kill a single one, as I had mentioned earlier. They also refuse to kill animals. It takes a couple tries at explaining LV or LOVE—Level Of ViolencE—along with EXP—EXecution Points—but eventually everyone is on the same page

- Y/n is hesitant to bring out their SOUL when asked. First off, though they’re now friends with those from the Underground, they can’t help but be reminded of every spear, knife, bone, petal, gaster blaster, and fireball that has been aimed at them with the intent to kill whenever their SOUL was drawn into an encounter back then. Second of all, showing your SOUL is something you do with those you trust with your life—after all, you’re literally putting your lifeline out on display when you do so. There are so many different ways that the SMP members can see it

- Perhaps a monster appears

- Eggpire or Dream attack

- Someone forces y/n into an encounter because everyone is too curious to just let this opportunity slip by

- When y/n discovers that the people of this land have more than one life, they’re confused. There is no way that all of these people have SOULS of Determination, and there’d definitely be some issues if people kept rewinding time to their last save point. Besides, only one Determination SOUL—the strongest one—should be able to respawn. Then again, they only know what Frisk had explained to them. They were never able to see the save stars that Frisk would interact with in the different sections of the Underground. So they only have so much to go off of.

- Battle for them is completely different. Despite being in a different world, the mechanics from their world still apply. They can FIGHT, ACT, use an ITEM or show MERCY.

- They use Frisk’s tactic and flirt their way out of a fight or two. They never understood why Frisk did it until now... ‘I mean, I...wow. That was actually effective.’ They’re impressed.

- Oh no, maybe that wasn’t the best idea...they might have some yanderes after them bc of it...

- They probably have accidentally called Philza ‘Asgore’ and Tubbo ‘Asriel’ because both hybrids remind her of the two males from her world. Similar personalities AND Tubbo is a goat hybrid. The poor child is going to be so confused

- If Tubbo’s a yandere oh boy it’s going to be so easy for him. Y/n will probably be constantly at his side and telling him stories about the first fallen child and how they were adopted by the royal family, who are goat monsters! And just explaining the history of the underground and how important the goat family is. Talks about Asriel a lot as well. Probably makes him butterscotch cinnamon pie and tries to recreate golden flower tea to share with him as well. Or, they do that and he’s not yandere and it’s just wholesome.

- If we follow the headcanons that some fans have made, perhaps Frisk (and/or y/n) gave up half of their SOUL to give to either (or both) Chara or Asriel so they’d have another chance at life

- Not only does y/n refuse to kill, which leaves them vulnerable, they also only have half a SOUL, which means they’re incredibly weak. Someone needs to protect them, someone needs to keep them safe, someone needs to—

- Y/n is incredibly agile thanks to all the battles they’ve faced Underground. With their SOUL always out in the open during an encounter and the fact that they refuse to harm anyone, it’s required. I’m imagining them moving like a dancer, using jumps and spins to help them avoid any weapons swung at them.

- This is gonna be annoying for any yandere that wishes to lock y/n up. Even if they won’t physically hurt someone, they WILL put up a fight and make it as hard as they possibly can to be dragged into isolation or imprisonment

- When it comes to who goes yandere, I believe what color of SOUL y/n has (their personality, in summary) would play a big role. Here’s a few of my ideas, feel free to move people around or add to it, I’m really tired and can’t think of many characters LOL

- Red (determination): Wilbur, Technoblade

- Orange (bravery): Technoblade, Dream, Tommy

- Yellow (justice): Sam, Technoblade

- Green (kindness): the kids of the server, Fundy, and Ghostbur

- Cyan (patience): Ranboo, Ghostbur, Karl

- Dark blue (integrity): Tubbo, Philza, Sam

- Purple (perseverance): Dream—this man would love to see how long it would take for your perseverance to run out. I wouldn’t be surprised if your perseverance is the only reason he’s interested.

__________________

From what I saw of the end of what I wrote, it is DEFINITELY cut short. At least I mentioned every SOUL type lolol.

Also, I found a whole other note that’s a continuation of this concept but for y/n being from another game what the hell was I doing—

Expect that to come in another ask once I eat dinner

Sorry i took so long to answer!! I kept getting distracted!

That stuff is so pog man!!!! Puffy might be called “Toriel” once in a while because mom energy and she sheep,,, close to goat!

Gosh all the flirting will bring in so many yanderes or make ppl like “yo wtf??” And there’s a very small amount that are inbetween.

OKAY BUT WITH THE MONSTER STUFF ON THE DSMP- they’d keep the monsters in their house. They’d give them food and everything. Some def become very friendly and will defend. Haha giant spider go prrrrrr

I’d write more but there is so much amazing stuff I don’t think I could add to some of them anyways!!! Plus my mind is just racing other places rn haha

#ask #loyal anon #tw: yandere #rambling with dodo #c: tubbo #c: wilbur #c: techno #c: dream #c: tommy #c: ranboo #c: ghostbur #c: karl #c: philza #c: sam

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gumnut-logic · 3 years

Text

Callisto (Part Six - Rescue Site)

This fic seems to be taking forever, but I hope it isn’t reading that way. I had so much fun over the weekend and I still have some fun ahead of me writing one of the core scenes I had planned. I hope you are enjoying reading this.

As always, many thanks to the amazing @tsarinatorment @scribbles97 @janetm74 and @vegetacide as well for all the read throughs and support. Wonderful science officer @onereyofstarlight this bit has one of the places we talked about extensively and wouldn’t exist without your help :D

Again, thank you to all the wonderful peeps who have been reading along and commenting despite the once a week posting schedule. You help keep my enthusiasm alive and you have no idea how much I appreciate every word of encouragement ::hugs you all::

Have a Tracy boy or two on the job :D

-o-o-o-

Scott rolled his shoulders and tried to stretch out the tension that was slowly giving him a headache.

At least now they were moving. This rescue felt like it was taking forever.

Hell, it was the same with most space recues, if even more with this one. The distances involved just went on and on and no matter how fast the Thunderbird, it was slow.

It rankled Scott just a little. The fact that the environment could not be influenced by his impatience.

And Dad…

He shunted the thought aside. Perhaps that was why he scorned the time needed. It gave him far too much time to think.

The tunnel stretched out before him as it had for some time now. The life signs were nearly seven hundred kilometres away from Callisto Base. Usually, this was not a problem. There wasn’t a Thunderbird that couldn’t cover that distance in a short period of time. Even Four could do it at velocities no other underwater craft had ever managed.

But this location was at least two kilometres underground, and while the molepod was always an option, Virgil had vetoed it with the option of travelling via dragonfly through the tunnels. Scott had to agree. They needed far more information before barrelling into an unknown situation, not to mention the difficulties of deploying the molepod in these conditions.

But by this point he was almost ready to jump out and blast a hole in the damned moon to get where they needed to go.

Time. So much damned time.

Too much to think.

His hands shifted on the Dragonfly’s controls spinning her into a dive as the tunnel dipped suddenly. The brilliance of the pod’s forward lights lit up the never-ending cave as clear as daylight.

It sparkled back at him in sharp, stabbing needle-like reflections off the walls that did nothing to improve his headache. He had already set his helmet to shade to protect himself. It was ridiculous to be needing sunglasses this far underground.

Behind him, Virgil was following him at a short distance in Dragonfly Two, his lights just bright enough to light up the red of Scott’s pod.

For some irrational reason Scott wanted his pod to be blue.

The blue of the sky he was currently missing.

He sighed.

Again, too much time to think.

“Another five hundred metres.” Alan’s voice from behind him was the reassurance it always was. Why he felt comforted when his littlest brother was nearby and within reach was something he did not want to examine too much.

A twist of his wrists as the tunnel backed around on itself in a hairpin of a turn and he had to dodge another nest of those weird deformed ice stalactite formations sticking out into their path. “What are we looking at?”

“Looks like another cavern. A big one.”

They had flown through several of those enormous caverns on the way out here already. They acted like junctions, some having multiple tunnels converging on them, every single one a home for more ice formations and that damned reflective rock. It had taken John to get them out of the last one. This place was a damned maze.

Virgil had fortunately come prepared, as always. He was leaving a trail of comms-support beacons behind them as a clear path to return to Callisto Base.

Scott fought the urge to duck as the tunnel suddenly shrunk by several metres and took another swerving turn. Scott spun the pod over one-eighty degrees on her longitudinal axis as her wings nearly scraped the ceiling.

Righting them finally, he couldn’t help but check his monitor to make sure Virgil took the turn safely.

He almost smiled as the green pod behind them flipped in a manoeuvre that no doubt had Gordon yelping in the back seat. He couldn’t help but be proud for just a self-indulgent moment.

But his attention was torn away as his pod suddenly shot into a large open space and the light reflecting off the walls suddenly blinded him.

Alan’s gasp behind him only echoed his own.

Their forward lights were being shot at them in blinding brilliance off the ceiling of the new cave.

That brightness only increased as Virgil’s pod spun into a hover beside them.

Oh god.

Whatever had been in the walls of the tunnels was obviously concentrated here.

He redirected the lamps away from the ceiling only to have the brilliance follow them all the way down the closest wall until he was able to turn the pod towards the most distant wall.

Crystal.

There was crystal everywhere.

The cave walls were covered in spikes of the stuff as it they were inside a giant geode. He had to acknowledge that it was stunningly amazing when it wasn’t ripping his eyeballs out.

But that wasn’t what took his breath away.

As their lamps lowered, they caught the edges of something else.

He turned the lights down towards the floor only to discover he couldn’t see it.

Because it was covered in water.

Fluid, liquid water, the dragonflies causing the faintest of ripples to dance across its surface.

A lake.

Scott’s jaw dropped as he tipped the pod to peer down into the dark water only to have more crystal attempt to stab him in the eye from the depths.

“What the hell?”

Water wasn’t supposed to be able to exist in this environment. He poked at his scanners. Atmospheric levels were the same, ever so thin, providing little to no air pressure or heat to keep the water in this state.

“John? What am I seeing?”

Thunderbird Five did not answer immediately, but the data transmission rate on comms doubled as his space brother reached his fingers into the cave through the pod’s sensors.

“Impossible.”

“That was my thought. Virgil?”

“It’s beautiful.”

Scott’s lips thinned. “Scientific explanation? Gordon?”

“You got me here, bro. But I’m more concerned about those lifesigns.”

Scott frowned and double checked his readout. The two dots registered, glowing strongly at him.

From under the water.

-o-o-o-

Virgil frowned as Scott spun his dragonfly around and returned to the entrance of the cavern. His forward lights lit up only what could be considered a beach where the original tunnel swooped in and connected with the crystal cave. At the base there was only a few scattered crystal formations and Virgil watched as his brother expertly put down without touching a single one.

“Are we going to take a look at the lake?”

Typical. Nearby water body and his fish brother wanted in it.

But Virgil needed more reconnaissance.

And if he was honest with himself, there was just a dash of sightseeing involved. Not much, because of the urgency of the mission, but enough curiosity to send him off on a scout around the cavern.

Crystals that had to be the length of an arm or a leg stuck out from the walls in haphazard directions. Most reflected back clear, but in streaks, as if seeping up a localised mineral, there were ribbons of colour in places – reds, greys, golds, pinks. His scanners spat back that it was simply quartz, silicon dioxide, but he had never seen a formation like this.

Which was understandable as this was an alien landscape with vastly different environs to those of Earth. The artist in him was literally stunned, while the scientist valiantly fought for a reason.

He swooped around the edges of the cavern, his lamps lighting up brilliance as he went. The cave proved to be roughly circular, approximately four hundred metres in diameter and about a hundred metres high. He came across two more tunnels leading off it, but all were as dry as the one they had used to enter the cave. Towards the centre, but not quite, the ceiling arched down and what appeared to be a stalactite met a stalagmite to form a column of swirling crystal that looked like something straight out of an art glass exhibition. The ribbons of colour were here too, but this time mostly in a rose pink and a startling blue.

Virgil didn’t have words.

The light playing among the crystals just touched every artistic sense he had and froze them solid.

But there was a mission and those two glowing red dots glared at him from beneath the surface of the lake.

He ran scans of the water. For it was water, mostly, though, certainly not any he would want to drink.

For one thing it was salty, a definite brine solution with a number of minerals including silica in concentrations that defied as much logic as the water’s existence did in the first place.

The difficulty was that the lifesigns weren’t clear. They were in the water, but resolution faded at a very shallow depth and there was a lot of deep depth in places.

“John, can you get any more resolution on these scans? I can’t pinpoint the lifesigns.”

There was a muttered curse on comms that had Virgil arching an eyebrow. “No, I’m sorry, Virgil. Interference is particularly strong in that cavern. We’re working on it, but I don’t have any great hopes.”

“What about a probe? Would that improve the signal?” Virgil blinked as his headache suddenly flared. Ow. Damn. The controls in front of him blurred a moment. Shit!

But then everything righted itself, just leaving an echo of the pain in his head as the headache droned on as it had before.

Maybe his painkillers were wearing off. A glance at the time proved that was far from the case.

He dreaded to think what that would have felt like without them.

“Virg?”

“What?!” Okay, so he was abrupt, but he was busy.

“Hey, hey, calm down. You didn’t answer John. Just checking on you.”

“Virgil, you there?” John’s voice dripped concern.

Shit.

“Sorry. Just got a headache. Need some sleep.”

“I feel you, bro. Want me to pilot?”

“No. No. I’m fine.” He swallowed bile and mentally shook himself. “John, you were saying?”

He could feel Gordon’s eyes on the back of his neck.

“Probe deployed. Target is Burr Crater, which you are directly under at the moment.”

Virgil’s display reported the probe entering Callisto’s atmosphere. He hoped it would give them enough information to act.

Time was ticking.

He spun the pod around and tried to ignore the rainbow of light that was his forward lamps. The flicker, while beautiful, was doing nothing good for his headache at all.

“You sure you’re okay, Virg?”

He pressed his lips together and considered ignoring the question from Gordon. But he knew if he did, his brother would only worry more.

It was a Tracy trait.

“Let’s just get this mission done. We have people who need saving.”

Gordon’s grunt wasn’t a happy one and the chances of Scott being called in on his headache were increasing by the moment.

“I’m fine, Gordon.” He cut the conversation off by dropping the pod rapidly towards the beach where Scott had climbed out and was walking to the water’s edge. Another spin mid-air and Virgil lowered into a rather delicate landing, keeping the pod’s feet away from the crystal formations sticking out of the rock.

Virgil swallowed again before climbing out of the pod. His boots hit solid but glittering rock, damp in the darkness.

Scott and Alan were standing at the water’s edge staring out at the spectacle that the pod lights lit up.

Gordon clambered out behind Virgil and together they both walked over to stand beside their brothers.

“This is so cool!” Alan was obviously excited.

He said it on external comms and the sound travelled across the cavern only to bounce back in so many perfect ‘ool’s Virgil’s eyes widened.

On the spur of that, as the ‘ool’s slowly faded away, he activated his own external comm and sung a single pure C note.

It came back at him from so many different directions it was like a chorus.

“Oh, wow.”

‘Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow…’ It went on, the faint atmosphere sporting just enough density to carry the sound waves.

“That is something, isn’t it?” Scott’s voice was quiet. “The dragonflies made one hell of a racket. We’re going to have to be careful. Wouldn’t want to set up a harmonic that could bring the roof down on us.”

Virgil was still processing. The thought of playing his piano in this cave was just mind boggling.

“Dad says the Base scientists are having some kind of scientific fit over this place.” A grunt. “I’m more concerned about those two lifesigns.” He paused. “John, any luck with the probe?”

“Unfortunately, no. The interference is just too thick. I can read the water, but very little in it or below it. I’ll keep trying.”

Scott sighed. “Keep us updated. Looks like this will have to be more hands on.” He turned to Gordon. “We need Thunderbird Four.”

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Alan Tracy #callisto

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angelanimedesaray · 3 years

Text

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 12: The Caged Bird

AN: ....I feel like this went by really fast, but CLEARLY it did not, considering this is almost 13000 words and I STILL ended up splitting it into two parts...but I still feel like it happened SO FAST!!! And that worries me...for reasons that will become obvious, cause you all know I want to try and handle sensitive topics properly, and I don’t like the thought I might have rushed through this....

Characters: Levi, Reader, Roy (Original Character), Furlan, Reader’s Father, Various BG Characters

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, Injuries, Blood, Threats of Death, Peril, (SPOILER) Abusive Relationships, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mentions of Past Violence, Mentions of Past Abuse, Allusions to Abuse. NOTE (Also a spoiler): If you’re worried that the actual trauma/effects of abuse wasn’t properly handled, most of that is coming in the next part. This part is dealing with the ESCAPE of abuse, dealing with the event/aftermath itself is the next part.

Word Count: 12558

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

(Gif found HERE)

(Four Years Later)

*Levi’s POV*

“Levi--I found something you might appreciate. It was tucked away at the bottom of this crate--I think someone was trying to hide it.”

Levi came over to where Furlan was going through one of the three crates they’d managed to snag in a riskier heist earlier today, taking the tin Furlan was offering him and checking the label. Tea. High end stuff, too. Normally he’d celebrate by instantly taking it for himself, but considering where it was hidden and the size of the payload, he was a little worried. What the hell was it doing tucked into the bottom of one of these crates?

“You don’t think these crates--or at least this one--were going to any of the big shots down here, do you?” Furlan asked, a serious look in his eyes.

Levi set the tin aside for the time being, resolving to take it for himself if they decided it was safe to keep the crates. “Keep looking. If there’s nothing particularly dangerous or valuable in here, we might be able to avoid trouble so long as we sell the goods fast,” Levi rationalized.

“And if there is?”

“Ditch the crates with the high risk stuff and let it be someone else’s problem,” Levi said flatly, crouching back down in front of the crate he’d been looking for, seeing if there was anything else they should keep for themselves.

Finding a friend down here had certainly been...unexpected, and at first Furlan had followed him around like an overly eager puppy, wanting to follow after Levi when Levi turned down following him. They’d been working together for almost two years now, and Levi was finally comfortable being around the other young man, the two of them working well together on the heists they pulled to pool their money together--both to survive, and to save up enough money to buy citizenship on the surface and at least a starting place to live, even if it was just one room. The main goal was getting topside, where they started out living didn’t matter much--improvements could be made after they were up under open sky instead of underground.

Open sky…Crystal blue or dark as ink with thousands of stars burning above, or a cloudy grey with swirls of snow falling to coat the world below. It had been four years, but he still remembered every detail, from the freezing air against his cheeks or droplets of rain sliding down his upturned face, the sound of snow crunching beneath his feet or a roll of thunder in the distance, a warm hand in his or a flash of a brilliant smile framed by soaked hair.

His fingertips patted out the piano keys to a song, the light tapping audible, but no musical sound to accompany it except his memory of the times he’d practiced it with her.

“You’re timing something in your head before you try it?” Furlan abruptly guessed. Levi stopped his tapping, but otherwise didn’t react, shifting through a bolt of fabric in the crate to see if anything was concealed in it.

“No,” he answered bluntly, and Furlan sighed before going back to what he was doing.

He’d been trying to guess what that tick of Levi’s was since he first saw Levi do it, and he so far hadn’t guessed. He probably wouldn’t, either, but it was amusing to watch him try sometimes.

Even if he guessed right by some miracle, Levi wouldn’t tell him. That time...that time was a memory for him. Those little pieces of music some of the only things he could take with him to remember her by, besides the memories themselves. It was why he still practiced in the dirt and open air, or against his leg or whatever he happened to be holding at the time, why he still tried to remember the sound and the pattern after all this time.

Sometimes, if he let his focus drift away from the present, he could almost feel her hands against his.

Levi let the old ache persist for a few more moments, holding the memories at the front of his mind before he reminded himself it did him no good to dwell on what was unreachable to him now. At least when he was supposed to be focused on something else. The dwelling was meant for the quiet moments he was left to himself, or while he stayed up with nothing but his insomnia and the memories to keep him company.

After the first two, three years of not going back, he’d resigned himself to the reality that his worst fear regarding his visits to her world had finally happened. One day the visits had simply stopped, and he had to find a way to move on from the brief glimpses into a better world he’d been given, the door appearing to be fully shut and sealed to him now, with Y/N on the other side.

He hoped she was all right, wherever she was now. He hoped she got into that college she’d wanted to go to despite everyone telling her she couldn’t make it. He hoped she got far away from that town, but she was still in close contact with her family. He hoped she found more friends, that she was able to build up a comfy lifestyle by now. Or at the very least, was well on the way there by now.

He knew how hard that could be, but at least she’d started well above where he was at now. He had longer and farther to climb.

He just wished it could have been to where she lived.

“All right, I don’t see anything with too much heat on it in here. What about you?” Furlan asked.

Levi sighed, eyes roaming over the contents he’d been shuffling through while he spaced out with a much sharper eye, looking for anything he might consider a red flag item.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He was usually so focused, he was almost embarrassed how much his memories were sweeping him away and bringing his mind elsewhere right now.

Opening his eyes, Levi was determined to focus and make sure him and Furlan didn’t accidentally bring home anything that was going to be more trouble than it was worth.

The crate was gone. And his hand was hovering just above a dull beige carpet, the light much brighter than it had been a few moments ago, and artificial instead of the usual firelight he was used to.

Levi’s breath had caught, and he held very still, as if afraid the slightest movement might shatter the reality around him. A slight stretch forward, and he could feel the sponginess of the carpet in front of him, which confirmed that what he was seeing was real.

Heart pounding, Levi turned his head to look around him, taking in the sight of a small house, fairly sparse, lots of flat and dull colors, a few cracks in the walls, and he was pretty sure there was a picture strategically placed on the wall to hide a hole. He was standing in a hallway with an open archway behind him and what looked like a back door at the end of the hall, stairs just off to the side in the same direction leading to a second story. He turned enough to see a small dining room behind him with a simple table and two chairs, and just around the corner must have been the kitchen. And from there, he could hear movement.

Y/N...?

Levi got to his feet slowly, his steps careful and quiet just in case he was wrong. He crept towards the kitchen, heartbeat rapid in his ears as he peeked around the corner, hand pressed lightly against the wall.

There she was, standing at a stove in this tiny little kitchen, bent over two pots as she cooked something to eat, a recipe book open just off to her left to give instructions on how to make whatever it was she was focused on.

She hadn't noticed him yet, and he had to swallow a sudden wave of complicated emotions at seeing her again, the most predominant of which was joy and longing. It had been four long years. He was only praying the universe wouldn't be cruel again and separate them before he had time to say something to her.

Well then, he shouldn't be standing here gawking like an idiot if he didn't want that to happen. He needed to say something--anything.

"Y/N?" He managed to get himself to say, tone making it sound like a question, the word feeling strange but reverent falling from his lips after so long not uttering them.

She jumped at the sudden voice, turning with wide eyes to see who had spoken, then freezing like a deer who'd just made eye contact with a predator. Her shock lasted a few moments, neither one of them daring to move and break the illusion before she spoke, the wooden spoon falling from her hands with a clunk into the water and against the metal rim of the pot.

"Levi?" She asked, voice breathless and small as she stared at him, eyes drinking him in as she took two hesitant steps forwards before she suddenly barreled towards him, hands clutching the front of his shirt as she buried her head in his chest.

There was a sharp intake of breath from both of them at the contact. Levi because he'd expected excitement, but not her throwing herself into his arms and...his shirt was damp, was she crying? Not to mention it had been years since someone touched him like this--he'd started to forget how he was supposed to react, how he wanted to react.

As for Y/N, the contact was when she breathed in and held it, the confirmation that he was real. She might have been trying to stem the flow of tears as well.

"Oh my God, you're real. It's been so long since…" she swallowed, a shaken laugh leaving her as she pulled back, looking up at his startled features. “I didn’t think you were ever going to come back! Where have you been? How have you been? How are you here now?”

Those tears were still in her eyes, and she was throwing herself at him with unrestrained...ambition? Passion? He was rusty reading her moods, so he couldn’t quite pinpoint what she was feeling, especially while she was still teary and still recovering from the shock of seeing him again.

She pulled away completely, seeming to realize how emotional she was getting right now as she wiped her eyes with her wrists, trying to regain her composure. “I’m sorry, I-I’m overwhelming you, aren’t I? Sorry, one question at a time…” she said with a nervous laugh.

“Are you all right?” Levi asked in mild concern. There had been far more waterworks than he’d expected in that reunion, and it made him worry.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I just...I really didn’t think I was going to see you again,” she said in a tiny voice.

“Neither did I,” Levi admitted. Now that he was here, and the awkwardness was settling over them…

The last time they’d seen each other, he’d kissed her. And now it had been four years. Was it even relevant even more? Was it even something he should bring up? Probably not right away, maybe save it until a little further into the day.

Levi looked around at the dull-looking house around him, the slightest pull of a frown starting to appear on his features. Now that he was looking...there was no piano. No splashes of color or personal touches, no scattered magazines or little projects she was working on. He’d always felt the places she lived were warm and personal, cozy, comfortable. This place was...indifferent and impersonal. Worn down, even. The cracks along the walls, the low-end furnishings...it reminded him of the Underground, and that didn’t sit well with him.

“You moved again,” he commented, eyes still moving around the surroundings.

“Yeah. I moved out for college, so no living with my parents anymore. They’re both...in different states now. Mom’s still in the same state as before with my stepdad and little sibling, and my dad’s a little closer, but still quite a ways away, and in another state as well...It’s a new area, though. Northwest--very northwest. It’s…” She seemed to struggle not to say dreary, settling instead on simply saying, “it rains a lot.”

Levi’s frown only grew. “I thought you said that school you were trying so hard to get into was out on the east coast?” Levi asked observantly, studying her closely. She turned away, but not before Levi caught a flash of pain in her eyes as she tried to feign that she was reminded of the food on the stove and was trying to focus on it.

“Yeah...but, ah...plans changed,” she said quietly.

Levi’s eyes narrowed at something in her tone he couldn’t pinpoint, but he certainly didn’t like it. “Plans change? Did you not get accepted?”

“I did.”

“Then it was too expensive.”

“No, I had a full ride, it was all completely paid for, nothing out of pocket.”

“Was it not what you expected?”

“It just didn’t work out,” she said much sharper than Levi had been anticipating, agitated by Levi poking at the subject trying to figure out what exactly had changed. “I don’t want to talk about it, Levi,” she said softly, body language stiff and closed off.

What happened in the four years he was gone? What had he missed? And why was she so...different? She didn’t feel like the same girl who’d pulled him into a rainstorm and drove him out to a hayfield simply to look at the stars, who’d marveled at snow and ice right with him and pulled him into so many different situations without hesitation, no reservations, just pure energy and happiness.

Now that he stepped back and looked at her, really took a moment to feel the energy in the room and take the time to get a proper read on her once the excitement of being back started to fade...she wasn’t bright, she was dulled. She was withdrawn and reserved, hesitant and quiet, a slight hunch to her shoulders, hiding her face.

What the hell happened? And why had he missed it?

She sighed over where she was bent over her food, and Levi felt himself rapidly withdrawing inside himself, kicking himself for thinking this was going to be even a modicum of what it used to be. His gaze was turned away, expression going from the worried frown and maybe a spark of hurt in his eyes that she cut him off so sharply to his usual indifferent expression in the silence that hung in the room. He suddenly became painfully aware of a distance that seemed to be yawning between them, four years of distance, so much apparently happening and he had no idea what besides college “didn’t work out” for reasons unknown.

And the last he’d seen, she’d been desperate to crawl out of the place she was living and get to the east coast. Instead she ended up in this dump on the complete other side?

“What about you? Are you still underground?” she asked, her tone suddenly normal and casual, though something about it felt insincere, like it was a front. Maybe not the question itself, it sounded like she genuinely wanted to know what had happened with him the past four years, but the casualness, the appearance that everything was fine--that was what felt false.

“Yeah,” he said shortly, watching as she moved away from the food to reach for the glasses in one of the cabinet and fill them with tap water, offering one to Levi, who left it sitting on the table beside him as he chose instead to watch her closely, his steely blue gaze following her every move and expression.

“Okay...I know you didn’t really talk much about what your life is like, but...is there anything you can tell me about it? How you’ve been, how you’re doing?”

“Only if you tell me how you’ve been in return,” Levi countered quickly. She looked away uncomfortably, going to open the fridge and fish around for the milk. As the door drifted further open, Levi’s gaze zoned in on the collection of brown bottles that clinked as she moved them aside to get to a small container of milk in the back. Whether it was his world or another, beer seemed universally recognizable. And there was a lot stocked in that fridge.

“I didn’t know you drank,” Levi said, his expression and tone as unreadable as he could manage, gaze fixated on her. She quickly shut the door, milk in hand as she headed over to the pots again to add a little milk to one of them.

“I don’t--those aren’t mine,” she said briefly.

“Whose are they, then?” Levi asked before she could try to direct the conversation back towards him. He didn’t want to talk about all his thievery and fights in the Underground, anyway. He wanted to know what had changed...everything, so drastically.

And if those weren’t her beer bottles, what were they doing in her fridge, and whose were they?

She was ignoring him, it seemed, choosing not to answer, her back to him so he couldn’t see her face once more.

“Y/N…” Levi started to say, the worry seeping into his tone this time as a rumble outside grew louder, and for a second, Levi thought that it was raining outside and he just hadn’t bothered to look out a window. Y/N, however, stiffened, then swore, abandoning what she was to suddenly start pushing him down the hall.

“Quick, out the back,” she said frantically.

“What? Why?” Levi asked, thrown off as the rumble got loud enough to be coming from just outside before abruptly ending.

“Because it looks really, really bad that I’m home alone right now with another guy--just, just--down the street to the intersection, take a left, then a right, another left, wait for me by the store that says Wal-Mart on Kensington Avenue, I’ll come as soon as I can get away, okay?”

“Y/N--”

“Just go!” she said sharply in a hiss, pointing towards the back door by the stairs he’d noticed earlier as she disappeared through another door towards the front door, straightening her long sleeve shirt and nervously brushing hair from her face before she vanished from his sight, Levi hesitantly creeping towards the back door even though he had no idea why he had to flee so suddenly when he never had to before.

As Levi quietly opened the back door, he heard conversation faintly from the living room.

“You’re home early, darling. I’ve almost got dinner ready, just a little longer. Let me get that for you…”

Levi paused with his hand still on the doorknob, even though he knew she might be trying to buy him time to slip out the back. But hearing that--darling, home, the beer in the fridge, her comment about being home alone with another guy--

Suddenly he felt like some kind of secret lover being smuggled out the back window. And it bothered him far more than he wanted to admit, the thought of being the other man, even if as far as he knew they were still just friends, considering their kiss had been years ago. She had every right to move on, and he had no right to be jealous. It shouldn’t bother him, he shouldn’t expect her to stay single when neither of them expected to see the other again.

But it still bothered him.

Before he could cause any drama between the two, Levi did as he was asked, shutting the door quietly behind him and hopping the fence of the back yard to sneak out to the street out front. There was an unnecessarily high off the ground truck out front that must have been the source of the rumble sound. Levi spared it a glance before taking a look up at the murky skies up above, a gloominess seeming to hang over the area that seemed like a conglomeration of small, thin houses in various states of disrepair, messy front lawns, cracked pavement…

Levi hesitated in front of the sidewalk, a bad feeling stirring in his gut as he stared back at the house. Nothing about this felt right to him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be here. Yeah, he knew life was shitty, but she’d always made it...brighter. There was nothing bright or warm about this place, and what little conversation they’d had so far left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, her sudden (At least, sudden to him) shift in attitude and demeanor was disconcerting, and he was worried about her.

The chill in the air, however, turned his attention away from the house she didn’t want him inside right now and back towards the street in front of him, mind shifting to finding the location she’d mentioned in the hopes he could find a warmer spot. He wasn’t exactly dressed for a cold breeze, since he was below ground where he lived and currently didn’t have to worry about that kind of thing.

He followed her instructions until he ended up outside a grey and blue building, standing on the sidewalk near the sign that had the street name on it, on the end closest to the direction her place was. He wanted to make sure she could see him when she came, so he stayed outside, even though he was worried it would be a while since she’d mentioned she was making dinner for her and...whoever that was.

Levi sulked, his expression darkening as he stared at the ground, trying desperately not to think about their relationship. Clearly it was further than just dating, they were living together. Were they married? Was she happy with him?

He wouldn’t think so, given her attitude change and the look of the run down house, but who was he to judge? How would he know? He’d been gone for four years, and clearly a lot had changed. Plans for college out the window, she was far from family, she was living in a place that reminded him of Underground houses...It was fucked up how the man’s truck looked more expensive than the house. Wouldn’t you spend more money on where you lived, not your mode of transportation? Y/N had owned a car that was reliable--it wasn’t shiny with a fresh pain of coat, she’d mentioned it was an older car, but it was reliable...and he noticed it wasn’t out front. There was no second car, just the truck.

Is she okay? Is she really okay with this? Is this really what she wants to be doing?

Time continued to stretch by, time that Levi spent simply standing by a street sign waiting for someone who still wasn’t showing up. He was starting to freeze up over here, and while he’d expected it to be a bit of a wait, this was getting a little too long. He was starting to get anxious that he’d spend whatever little time he had here trying to get her.

Just as he started to think to hell with it, he would head back to the house anyway and knock on the front door, she finally appeared on the other side of the street, fiddling with her long sleeves to pull them down again and with a scarf tied neatly around her neck, cheeks flushed and breathing a little heavy like she ran over here. She crossed quickly to reach him, a flicker of that old fire of hers in her eyes as she smiled shyly at him, coming to a stop in front of him.

“Sorry I made you wait,” she said timidly, though she offered no explanation as to why it took so long. “What?” she asked self-consciously, fixing the scarf when she realized he was staring at her with an odd look.

“Why the scarf?” he asked. This was the same girl who rolled around and played in the snow with him without a scarf, leaving it stuffed in her pocket after it kept falling off in all the roughhousing. And that hadn’t been just because they were kids and they didn’t know better or care--this had been four years ago. She hadn’t cared about now sneezy the cold might make her, and she hadn’t cared to even wear the scarf loosely thrown around her neck when she /did/ wear it. Yet now that it was a little nippy out, she wore a scarf tied so neatly around her neck like a second skin, but nothing else? No coat, no hat, no gloves?

She shrugged. “It’s not too bad out--I just wanted something to keep my neck and cheeks warm on the way here.”

Yet the scarf wasn’t pulled high enough to cover her cheeks. Just her neck.

Maybe he was just over analyzing because he was worried about her...

Before he could question her again, she started forward, cutting across a brief green space to head towards the store, pulling briefly on his sleeve before letting go and keeping her hands to herself.

“Come on, let’s get inside where it’ll be warmer. I snuck a twenty, so we should be able to treat ourselves to something. I’d say ice cream for the good old days, but I don’t think the weather’s fitting for that,” she said sheepishly, prattling away. Once more, it didn’t feel quite as natural as it should have been. It felt force, purposeful to distract him. Like she was putting all her effort into putting up a front as she led him through the doors.

What gave it away was her inability to stop talking. Even before, she’d known when to stop and let the silence speak for itself, when to give Levi a chance to talk. She wasn’t doing that right now, prattling on about the store being a chain store found all over the place, talking about how normally the outdoor section they walked through was filled with plants in the spring and summer but they had been put away or pulled inside for the fall and winter seasons, how you could find a general collection for most needs here--whatever came to mind as they walked, she droned on and on about, like it was a nervous tick.

Eventually, when it was just them at the end of an aisle with no one around and he’d listened to the meaningless prattle for a good fifteen, twenty minutes, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he lightly grasped her arm to bring her to a stop. She flinched slightly at the sudden contact, words stuttering to a halt as Levi’s gaze burned into hers.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her bluntly. She forced a smile, and it sickened him, made his heart sink. Was this the same girl who’d gotten him to open up and show her some of the broken pieces he kept hidden inside himself? The same girl who’d vented and cried into his shoulder before? Who was at least honest with him before if something was bothering her, simply telling him if it was something she’d rather not talk about, but giving in if it was something she should talk about. Who was this stranger in front of him, thinking forced smiles and lies would convince him that she was fine here.

“Nothing’s wrong--” she started to say, the answer rehearsed and the most false she’d given him yet.

“Don’t pretend. Not with me. It’s insulting,” Levi cut her off before she could continue, wounded that she thought such a thin charade was going to pacify him, and wanting nothing more than to do something if there was something wrong.

The smile faltered, and something deep and dark flashed in her eyes. Not dark as in threatening. The scared kind. The emotional kind. The arm he was still holding trembled slightly in his grip.

“It’s nothing that you can fix, Levi,” she said in a small voice, looking like she suddenly wanted to bolt.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s not. You’re just making it complicated. And I don’t know why,” Levi said, letting a bit of his frustrations leak through as well as his worries as his eyes roamed her face, trying desperately to find the answers of what happened, what changed. “You’re not even yourself right now, you’re just pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. What’s really going on with you?”

“It’s been four years--”

“That’s an excuse, not an explanation.”

“Levi, please, let it go.”

“No. Not this time. Whatever this is, it's not something you can sweep under a rug, Y/N. It’s everywhere I looked in that damn house, and you’re an entirely different person, so tell me so I can try to help--”

“Y/N?”

The new voice made them both look up in surprise, both of them lost in their hushed conversation and as such, completely missing that someone had spotted Y/N from the other end of the aisle and was currently making their way towards a scene that could easily be misinterpreted.

Levi let go of her instinctively before anyone could freak out about the shady guy that wasn’t her boyfriend or whatever that had a hold of her arm, staring at the man that was now approaching them, worry in his gaze as he looked between the two.

Y/N had turned fidgety, staring at the other man with a bit of recognition in her eyes, but not familiarity. “Is there something you need?”

A spark of pity appeared in the man’s eyes. “You’ve wandered a little ways from home, haven’t you?”

Levi’s brows furrowed in confusion at what the man was saying, but Y/N seemed to grow nervous, which put Levi on edge.

“No, I’m just--I’m just out with a friend. For a little while.”

The man’s gaze flickered to Levi, his expression telling Levi that he didn’t really believe her. “Right...but I’m sure Roy is worried sick about you. Let me just call him and let him know where you are so he can--”

“No! No, listen,” she said with panic in her voice, and Levi felt a chill go down his spine as a thought started to take root in his mind, growing with each word uttered in this bizarre exchange in front of him. “I haven’t seen anyone in two years, I know, I’m going home after this, but I just want to spend some time with a friend for a while before I head back.”

“I know what it means when Roy’s not here, you can’t be out on your own like this, you’re confused, you could get hurt--”

“I’m not crazy!” she snapped. The stranger reached out for her arm, she flinched away, and Levi’s hand snapped out to grab his wrist before it could reach again.

The eyes that looked at him were not filled with pity, but hard accusation, apparently deeming Levi as some kind of threat. He wasn’t to her, but he was about to be to whoever the hell this was.

“I don’t know who you think you are taking advantage of a confused girl like this--” the man started to say, but Levi cut him off in a harsh and hard voice.

“I’m a friend who’s known her longer than this Roy guy, and if you don’t keep your hands off her, I will remove them myself.”

The man flinched back from Levi’s grip, which Levi allowed because his attention was elsewhere now, the suspicion that was growing in the back of his mind just needed a little physical proof he was certain he was about to see.

Without asking for permission or giving her any kind of warning that might give her time to try and hide again, Levi gently grasped her arm and yanked back the sleeve. Instead of smooth, unblemished skin, there was a collection of bruises and even a few cuts. His hands turned deceptively still as hers began to tremble.

“Levi, stop, what are you--” she tried to protest, the panic clear in her voice as he grabbed the other arm--gently, again--to pull back that sleeve and reveal the same thing beneath the second sleeve. She tried to flinch away when he reached for the scarf, but he had enough of a grip it pulled loose, revealing fresh, ugly bruises around her throat she’d been trying to cover up by wearing it.

The man behind them was finally silent, and Levi stared wordlessly at Y/N, processing what he was seeing and the confirmation of his theory as she refused to look him in the eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks as she looked away in shame.

He’d been trying to figure out what happened to her, what changed, why she was so different. He’d thought maybe his disappearance had hurt her more than he thought, maybe something went wrong at college and things had spiraled out of control, maybe something happened that made her give up hope.

Except this was worse. This was much, much worse.

Of all the things that came to mind in this very moment, he thought of the day he’d seen the fire in her eyes when she swore she wouldn’t be caged. And now he was staring at the shaken form of a woman who had been forced into a cage when she’d fought so hard to escape them and their limitations. Someone had forced that fiery soul he’d admired to bend and break and conform until it was jammed into a too-small and isolated box without color or life.

It was wrong. It was disgusting.

And he was livid.

“Levi...Levi, wait!” Y/N called out in a panic, but for once, he ignored her, gaze dark as he turned without a word and left the building, purposeful steps leading him back the way he came as Y/N chased after him with calls of his name, trying to stop him. He wasn’t going to let her stop him, not this time.

By the time the house came into view, Levi’s blood was burning in his veins, that power in himself that he’d unlocked long ago when he’d decided to protect her from this ugly world rearing its head and chomping at the bit to sink its teeth into this Roy guy.

He tried the front door, only to discover it was locked. She must have snuck out the back, earlier, then, like he had.

“There you are you little sl--”

The angry growl from another man’s voice was cut sharply off as Levi, not in the mood to waste time jumping a fence and coming through the back door, kicked the door in with one simple move. The door’s abrupt burst inwards was what caused the voice to be cut off, as the edge of the door slammed into the man’s face and sent him reeling back.

Levi wasn’t paying attention to physical features, what he looked like, how much larger than him he was, nothing like that. He stepped inside, saw the man holding his nose in surprise, and descended on him like a sicced dog.

Eyes flashing dangerously, Levi gave no explanation for why he, a stranger to this man, kicked down his door and attacked him. He just started swinging, one hand grabbing Roy’s shirt so tight it started to rip and the fabric cut into his throat while the other formed a fist and started repeatedly bashing into his face. Blood sprayed in the first two seconds, but Levi kept going, ducking out of the way as he tried to return a swing, getting underneath him and tackling him into an end table that splintered with the force of the impact, sending them both to the floor.

At that point, Y/N had caught up, and she was standing in the doorway shouting for him to stop. Again, Levi ignored her. He would stop when he felt like Roy’d had enough, and right now, he didn’t think he had. He was on his feet now, foot flying out in violent kicks to do damage to more than just the man’s face, taking his fury of what Roy had done to her out on any body part that came within reach of his foot.

Timid hands locked around his arm, and Levi turned to see Y/N grabbing his arms with tears in her eyes, looking scared and desperate and shaken. He finally stopped, staring at her for a few moments and the tears in her eyes as, once more, she begged him to stop, except now he was looking at her, and he was paying attention.

“Levi, please, I just…” She sniffled, sobbed, and then started to cry, and Levi’s rage started to melt away, heart softening and aching painfully to see her clinging to him sobbing so openly. The last time she’d done that had been when she’d ran away and got lost, and that had been nothing like this.

He turned to face her, hand gently reaching out to touch her shoulder, part of him wanting to stop and comfort her, but the other part knowing this wasn’t the time for that, not yet, anyway.

“Is the house yours?” he asked.

“No…”

“The car?”

“No.”

“Pack your stuff. Whatever’s yours, whatever you want to keep, pack it. I’ll meet you outside,” Levi said softly, giving her a gentle push towards the hall to get her moving and away from the bloody sight of Roy on the ground.

Well, he’d pushed himself up and crawled over to the weathered chest in the center of the room that acted as a coffee table as Levi was focused on and talking to you, flipping open the lid and drawing Levi’s attention back towards him as he heard a faint but recognizable, even in this world, click.

And the weapon was not aimed at Levi, but Y/N still standing in the doorway of the living room looking timid and afraid to leave because of what Levi might do while she was gone.

“Fucking bitch--” Roy yelled as Levi’s hand shot out to knock the weapon out of his hand, the gun firing and the shot going wild as Levi yanked Roy’s hand closer towards him--but the barrel wasn’t aimed at Levi, he wasn’t stupid. The bullet embedded itself into the wall right of Y/N, who screamed as the shot went off.

Levi twisted Roy’s hand until there was a snap and the gun clattered to the floor as Roy let out a short scream of pain, Levi kicking the gun far out reach and pulling out his knife to keep Roy compliant, dragging the man effortlessly out the front door and onto the front lawn, throwing him to the ground as Y/N followed at least just outside the door instead of heading back inside.

“Levi!” she started to shout, but Levi pointed one of his bloodied hands back at the door behind her.

“Go get your stuff--I’ll handle this,” he said firmly, and she hesitated a few moments before she finally headed inside the house to go pack, leaving Levi alone with Roy.

Levi pressed his knee against the man’s back to hold him down, one hand fisted into his hair to hold his head back, knife out and pressed into his throat until blood started to dribble down the blade.

“The only reason you’re not dead, is because I don’t want her to see that. Not to mention you’ve got her so fucked up right now I doubt it would only make her more upset,” Levi said in a low, threatening tone, keeping his words quiet as he spoke so only him and Roy could hear if Y/N came back outside. “So I’m taking her, we’re leaving, and you’re never going to darken the same town as her. If you so much as think of her again, I will gut you and leave you for dead in some dark alley no one will ever find you in. And I was gutting grown men before you had your first beer and started calling yourself a man, so when I say that’s what I’ll do to you, I mean it.”

Levi removed the blade, stepping away and pulling out his handkerchief to start cleaning the blood off his hands and knife, keeping his gaze sharply on the beaten man below him as he waited for Y/N to make a reappearance.

“Who the hell do you think you are to take what’s mine?” Roy spat.

Levi kicked him so he would turn over, putting his boot on the man’s throat to stop him from talking anymore--he didn’t want to hear the filth pouring from his lips.

“I’m the man who will kill you without a second thought if you try anything with her ever again. And she was never yours. She’s a person, not an object.”

Levi watched him struggling underneath him, putting more pressure on his throat whenever Roy tried to claw him off, not an ounce of his currently vicious attention leaving him. He was aware that they had an audience--some neighbors were standing on their porch to see what was going on, no one brave enough to come face the man with the knife who’d beaten Roy to a pulp. Though some of them seemed to be on phones, probably calling for actual help. No matter. They’d be out of here before any police arrived.

Y/N finally appeared, a single, small suitcase in hand, a coat on her frame this time, the scarf tied in place once more to hide the bruise on her throat. Levi’s boot lifted off Roy’s neck, the knife he’d been cleaning now tucked away and out of sight and his hands clean as Y/N timidly started to approach him.

“You won’t make it out of town before the cops--” Roy started to wheeze, but Levi kicked him hard in the head, knocking him out in the process.

He should have done that earlier, honestly.

Levi held out an arm, pulling her protectively to his side with his arm around her shoulders as they quickly left the house behind.

“People are staring,” Y/N mumbled. Her eyes were red from the crying, her cheeks flushed and wet with tears. Levi’s hand gave her shoulder a gentle rub of comfort, trying to give her a bit of assurance.

“Don’t worry about that, let’s just get you out of here,” Levi muttered, taking the directions she’d given him to at least get them to the store she’d had him meet her at.

They could have taken the truck to get out of there faster, so they could just start driving, but he didn’t want to risk Roy coming after her for stealing anything that was legally his, so they were going to have to start on foot until they could find transport.

And as much as he wanted to be the one to take care of her right now, to tell her she didn’t have to worry about anything and he would take care of it all, he was a stranger in this world, and he didn’t understand it nearly as well as she did. He needed her help to get her out of here, get her somewhere safe and secure where Roy couldn’t touch her.

They needed transportation and money. Those were the two important things right now.

“Do you have any money? Any at all?” Levi asked her as they came up on the store.

“No--I haven’t had a job in two years. The twenty from earlier I took from Roy,” she said quietly.

“What about a phone so we can call someone, like your parents?”

“I haven’t had a phone in two years, either.”

Levi made a noise of frustration with how truly stuck Roy made her. He moved her across the country away from everyone she knew (Besides Levi, who appeared wherever she was, but had been missing for four years), took away her transportation, took away her phone so she couldn’t contact anyone, took all of her money so she couldn’t buy her way anywhere, told their neighbors if she was out and about without him she was in trouble because she was unwell or sick in the head or some bullshit…

“If we go inside we might be able to borrow the store’s phone, though,” she said in a small voice. “And get you a new shirt. There’s blood on yours.”

There was. They would probably get odd looks if he went inside with blood on him with a girl that looked shaken and scared, maybe get the police called on them again. This wasn’t the Underground, people weren’t guaranteed to look the other way.

“Give me your coat, then. We’ll go inside, get a new shirt, and you can borrow a phone to call your parents...do you remember their numbers?”

The only number he had to remember was 911 with that lesson she gave him a while back, but he was aware the other numbers were ten digits. And it had been a while since she called them.

“I’ve always known my dad’s number like the back of my hand. And he’s never changed it, so...I can call him,” she said, her voice shaking slightly at the prospect. But she was shrugging off her coat, so clearly she was accepting the idea.

Levi pulled on her coat and covered himself up so the blood on his shirt wasn’t noticeable. The blood on his pants and boots was another story, but that he might be able to brush off as paint or mud considering the dreary weather. Once his hands were through the sleeves, he grasped her hand in his own and gave it a firm squeeze to reassure her, pulling her along after him as he headed for the doors they’d gone through earlier.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” he said lowly, guiding them inside. Once inside, though, she took over, walking unsteadily to the other side of the store and approaching the counter with a nervous, jittery disposition as the lady on the other side stared expectantly at her. “Can we, um...can I...I mean…”

“Can we borrow a phone?” Levi interrupted after watching her struggle to get the words out for several painful moments. The lady looked taken aback, gaze scanning them over and narrowing at them suspiciously. “She needs to make a call to her father.”

The woman’s analytical gaze didn’t lessen, but she did gesture to a phone behind the counter. “You can use this one.”

*Reader’s POV*

Your hands were still shaking as you moved around the counter, repeating the number in your head over and over in the hopes that doing so would make it correct. When you were younger, you’d always mixed up two of the numbers, and you were hoping you weren’t about to do that again. You needed this call to go through.

You were still shaken by the abrupt turn this day had taken. When you’d first seen Levi, you were just happy to see /anyone/ outside of Roy. Especially the young man you had been convinced you’d never see again.

But Levi had always been observant, always good at reading people, and it hadn’t taken him long to start digging at things that made you reflexively panic, instinctively trying to hide the truth of your situation even from the one person you thought you might be able to be open with. But Roy had too tight a hold on you and your life--you were too terrified to even let anyone suspect what was going on behind closed doors. It wasn’t like you’d had a way out. He’d stripped you of every freedom and mode of independence until it was too late, until you were isolated and locked in with no sign of ever escaping. So you tried desperately to make it work, for your sake.

And when Roy got home, the thought of him seeing you with another man...you’d felt like you were staring death in the face. No amount of saying Levi was just a friend would convince him, which was why you’d sent him out the back. Of course, you’d forgotten about the two glasses you’d poured earlier, which was where the bruise around your neck came from. Roy had picked you up by the throat and slammed you against the wall, demanding the truth as you desperately spun a lie about pouring yourself a glass and forgetting where you put it until after pouring a second. Your insistence even after you ran out of air might have been what saved your life.

Getting out had consisted of waiting until after you’d finished and served Roy dinner, claiming you were going to take a bath to clean up after all the housework and instead sneaking out the back door. You knew there would be hell to pay when you came back, that Roy would be furious you snuck out of the house he kept you restrained inside, but to see Levi...seeing Levi made it worth it.

Even being in his presence made you feel a little safer, made the air feel clearer instead of suffocating, made a bit of hope peak through the gloom you’d been trapped in. You just wanted a few minutes of that before Levi inevitably disappeared, just a few moments of safety and warmth beside him would be worth any retaliation Roy doled out when it ended.

But the moment was shattered. Any attempt you made to keep Levi from finding out, afraid of what would happen when he did, only made Levi more suspicious, because he knew you, and he’d known something was wrong from the start. It had only taken one look for him to realize you were a bird with broken wings shoved in a corner of a cage and left to die. But you were too afraid to say anything, too afraid of the fallout, of what would happen to Roy. Because part of you had kept believing that if you just tried a little harder, if you just stopped messing up, if you could do one thing right, maybe he would go back to the way he’d been when you first met, maybe you could fix it. It was your fault it had developed to this point, anyway, not his. That was what you believed, anyway.

So seeing the dark fury in Levi’s eyes, remembering the few times he’d come through to your world in the middle of a fight, that one time when you were young that he came back covered in blood, you’d been afraid. You might have never seen Levi like that, but you knew what it would lead to. But Levi was faster than you, and unlike before, he wasn’t going to listen to your pleas to let it go, to stop and leave it be. He was going to do something about it.

The fight had been terrifying to witness--mostly because every witnessed blow made you flinch, and you had never seen Levi with that dark fury in his eyes lashing out at someone with such murderous intent. You really thought Levi was going to kill Roy in that moment.

When you stopped him, maybe part of it had been a conditioned reaction to not let Roy be hurt, maybe part of you was still afraid for Roy because he was still your partner. But Levi was close to you in a way Roy could never fill, no matter how badly you tried to fit the cold and cutting square peg that was Roy into the round hole that was where Levi’s warmth and comfort was supposed to be. You were afraid, but while Roy had conditioned you to be obedient and follow his whims, Levi was the one with your loyalty, with the history, with the true and even reciprocated affection. When you’d stopped that fight, if it could be called that, it was because you just wanted it all to be over. You just wanted out of that hell house and somewhere safe, you wanted Levi to take you with him anywhere but here. You didn’t want him to look scary and covered in blood right now, you wanted him to whisk you away and hold you and tell you it was going to be all right.

But it seemed right now wasn’t the time for that in his mind. He was taking the part about getting you out of here seriously. The only form of comfort you had right now was the fact you were away from Roy at the moment, the small squeezes Levi gave your hand, and the protective arm around your shoulders.

But you kept thinking what would happen when Roy caught up to you. When the police were called and this was considered a kidnapping, when Levi got arrested for the assault at least, possibly worse. When you were dragged back to the house where a punishment that would probably finally leave you dead would be waiting for you. It was what had you so terrified. That someone would pull you out of Levi’s comforting grip and throw you back to Roy, that this couldn’t last, that you’d be dragged back. You had nowhere to go, and no way to leave. No money, no car, no phone, no friends or family in the area, you were isolated and surrounded by people who might see Levi and think he was the abuser.

Your fingers shook as you dialed the number, almost messing up more than once pressing the buttons on the cord phone that was used in the Wal-Mart, waiting as the rings droned on, then ended with your father’s voicemail.

It was the right number.

You just needed him to pick up even though the Caller ID would likely be Wal-Mart from a state he didn’t even go to. He would think it was a scam call. So you had to keep calling until he answered--praying he would answer before the cops caught up, before Roy came back, before the woman at the counter stopped eyeing Levi like that and decided to just do something about whatever she was assuming in her head.

You called again. No answer.

Again. No answer.

No answer.

Nothing.

“Pick up, please,” you let out in a small sob, only realizing then that you were openly crying as you desperately tried to get your father to pick up the phone. You felt a warm hand on your back and looked over to see Levi standing beside you with concern in his eyes.

“Breathe. Just keep trying,” he said softly, giving your back a small rub to help calm you down as you sucked in sharp breaths of air in your effort to calm back down, rubbing at the tears in your eyes as you kept trying the number back to back.

You tried five more times before you finally heard the dial tone interrupted, your heart leaping into your throat. “Whoever this is--” came the familiar voice of your father, the same time that you squeaked out,

“Daddy?”

The word shook and cracked, already showing that you were vulnerable and emotional and needed help. There was a second of silence as your father registered that you were the mysterious caller, and the tone immediately softened from angry and annoyed to worried and even a little panicked.

“Y/N? Are you all right? What are you doing calling from a Wal-Mart? Why haven’t we heard from you in so long? Are you in Washington? Where have you been?” he asked, a thousand bottled questions from two years of silence starting to flow out.

“I’m not. I mean, I am but I’m not. Daddy, I’m in a really bad...Levi found me, he got me out,” you said, looking at Levi as your voice shook, glad to see he was staying firmly by your side with his hand on your back as you spoke, giving you silent encouragement and not moving away at the vulnerability. You didn’t think you could speak if he wasn’t right there to reassure you. “But we don’t have anywhere to go now. We don’t have a car, or money, or even a phone, we stopped at the Wal-Mart two miles from…”

You sniffled, tears blurring your vision as pent up emotions started to bubble to the surface. You didn’t even care that you were in a public place anymore. You just knew you had a man who truly cared about you that you cared for in return at your side, your father on the other end of the line, and you wanted desperately to go with them and be safe and not get dragged back to Roy’s.

“Daddy, I’m scared,” You admitted, hand shaking on the phone and feeling Levi step closer and his grip reflexively tighten on you at your words. “I think they called the police--the neighbors. Levi sort of...he hurt Roy really bad and I think they think he kidnapped me, Roy might try to have Levi arrested, but I don’t want to--I can’t go back there, I just want to get out of here, I can’t go back there.”

Levi full on wrapped you up in one of his awkward but learning hugs, and you turned your head to cry into his chest for a few moments as he murmured to you that it was going to be alright, he wouldn’t let anyone take you away, you holding the phone further away in the hopes your dad wouldn’t hear because a part of you didn’t want him to hear just how bad it was at the same time you wanted to tell him everything.

“Sweetheart, you need to listen to me,” he said once you had the phone pressed back against your ear to hear him. You recognized that voice--it was his ‘I’ve seen a lot of shit as a soldier and led an interesting life, and I’m about to teach you something important as gently as I can, but you need to listen to me’ voice. “I’m going to give you my bank information, you go to the ATM at the Wal-Mart and pull out two or three hundred dollars. Use it to buy a burner phone, get at least a few hours on it, get some food and something to carry it in, anything else you need for two or three days. I’m going to buy greyhound bus tickets the closest to you I can find that’s leaving in an hour or two, one for you and one for Levi so he can keep you safe, so you have enough time to get what you need and get there. Text me on the phone you buy so I know where to send the tickets, I’ll send you the information, and then you need to call the police and tell them what happened so they arrest Roy, make sure you stress that Levi was defending you and trying to get you to safety and they might not come after the two of you to arrest him. Just focus on getting out of the state first.”

You were fairly certain, considering you knew your father and the way he phrased that, that he was telling you two to evade the police at the same time so Levi wouldn’t be arrested and he could stay with you to keep you safe. You were pretty sure extraditing was a thing, but you weren’t going to worry about it right now--especially because you knew Levi would disappear from custody anyway.

“Okay,” you said in a small voice, listening intently as your father moved on to explain how a cardless cash withdraw worked on an ATM and how he was going to approve the withdraw from an app on his phone, while you only needed to enter his number and the codes he was about to tell you, and the amount, and you would have the money. You said a very shaky goodbye that consisted of some I love you’s before you hung up the phone with the codes running in a loop through your mind, hurrying with Levi over to the ATM that was correspondent with your father’s mainstream bank, entering the phone number, the codes, and then ending up with three hundred dollars in your hands, plus the twenty you took from the house.

Levi let you take the lead in this, since you knew what you were doing even if you were the shaken one that was being rescued. You hurried back to the electronics section, buying and quickly activating the first phone that would suit your needs. Once you had it in hand, you texted your father, who replied with four greyhound bus tickets--two for you and two for Levi, the reason for which being he included a transfer, with enough gap between drop off and pick up time for you and Levi to get a room at a hotel and get a good night’s rest before having to get on the next bus. He explained that there was a curbside pickup spot close to your location at a local gas station that would only require you to show the ticket to the bus driver before you were let on, and that it would be there in a little less than an hour. That allowed you time to do any supply shopping and hurry over there, though he again stressed you needed to call the police immediately and try to explain as much of the situation as possible so you could safely run from Roy without it being considered evading the police. And so they wouldn’t be after Levi for kidnapping, at least.

You were pretty sure what Levi had done to Roy went beyond defense, though, so you weren’t optimistic about that. At least there was no trace of him here in this world besides your stories, not even a birth certificate or a match to a fingerprint. Levi was a ghost here. So long as they didn’t catch him, they couldn’t prosecute him.

That was your thinking right now, anyway.

You grabbed a cart, headed over to the fresh foods section, and started grabbing from the lemonade, salads, wraps, sub sandwiches, potato salad, crackers and cheese trays--everything that was premade and ready for you and would keep in a lukewarm environment until you were in a hotel to put it in a minifridge for a while. Stuff you could eat when you felt like it when you needed it. You hurried over to the men’s aisle, and the two of you found a nice white button down and a pair of black dress pants that he could replace the ones he’d been wearing with. By that point you felt like the breath was being squeezed out of you as you ran out of time and pushed your luck only a few miles from Roy’s house, the police probably at the scene and taking statements by now. But that phone conversation was not one you wanted to have in a store surrounded by all kinds of people. You’d probably cry again, and maybe you’d be asked questions you couldn’t answer around so many people.

So you rushed through buying the food and Levi’s replacement shirt, Levi going into the men’s room with the bag to change while you shakily dialed 911 on the phone as you waited for him to finish, putting the phone to your ear.

“911, what’s your emergency?” came a woman’s voice.

“Um...my name’s...my name’s Y/N L/N...I don’t know if there’s been any calls regarding me yet, but I...I needed to call and clarify what hap--what happened before a false report happened, or whatever it is.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly are you calling for?”

You looked around to make sure there weren’t a lot of people, lowering your voice as you tucked yourself against the wall you were leaning against with your bags at your feet, the food in a newly bought, spacious satchel bag and your suitcase on the other side of it.

“My, um...my boyfriend, Roy Higgins, he um...he was...it was a really, really bad situation. An old friend of mine found me--”

“Found you? What do you mean by found you?”

“Roy isolated me. Moved me where there was no one around that I knew, took away my phone and my car and my money, told people I was sick so if I was out alone, without him, to bring me right back. No one knew where I was, they probably thought it was voluntary.”

“Just to clarify, Roy was abusing you.”

“Yes.”

“And you say your friend found you?”

“Yes. He found me, and he saw...he saw how bad I was hurt when I snuck away to see him, and he went back, to Roy and he...they got into a fight. He beat up Roy pretty bad, and Roy drew a gun on me and he tried to shoot me--”

“Was this before or after the fight?”

“In the middle. My friend was...He was coming to get me out of there, he told me to go pack and we were going to leave, and that’s when Roy tried to shoot me, and L--my friend dragged him out front, I don’t know what happened out there cause I was packing, but...I’m not in danger now, I just, I know neighbors were on phones and I didn’t want the police thinking I was kidnapped, or Roy telling the police I was taken, I want to leave, I don’t want to go back there--I can’t go back there and…” You choked off again, ducking your head away as someone walked by so they wouldn’t see you were crying. “My friend’s just trying to get me somewhere safe, where Roy can’t find and hurt me. I didn’t want any police arresting him or bringing me back there, so I...I called 911 so I could...I could report the abuse...and make sure that it was known I left willingly, my friend didn’t take me he was helping and defending me, and he felt my life was in danger, which it was because Roy almost...before I snuck away to see my friend he almost...and Roy’s just trying to drag me back there.”

“Y/N, is it possible for you to come into the police station to give a statement to clear things up?”

“No. No, I can’t stay here, I just, I have to get away, I just want to get far away from here. If you want a statement just let me, let me do it over the phone, or at the station in the other state when I’ve finally stopped running from him.”

At that point, Levi came out of the men’s restroom, looking clean and proper as he took in the sight of you on the phone again, fresh tears on your face. You rubbed your eyes to get rid of them and straightened, Levi picking up the bags at your feet and gesturing for the two of you to get moving.

You followed after him as you continued speaking on the phone, knowing he knew where to go because you’d told him while the two of you were shopping for clothes and food.

“Okay, then Y/N, would you be willing to at least answer some questions right now so the police know some of what Roy’s done, so they can charge him properly?”

“Yes,” you said simply, staring at Levi’s shoes as you spoke while the two of you walked almost side by side. The questions that were coming, you felt like they might be the kind you didn’t want Levi to hear, but you wanted as much as possible on the record as fast as possible. Hopefully Roy would be locked up, and you would have some time before he could come after you.

Because, surely, he’d come after you. He’d want his prize back.

“How long were you two in a relationship?”

“Three years. Roughly.”

“Was he always abusive?”

“Not at first. He eased into it.”

“Was the abuse physical, mental, emotional?”

“All of it.”

“Did he ever sexually abuse you?”

Your gaze flickered to Levi, your voice tiny and barely heard as you spoke into the phone. “How...how would you define that?” You asked quietly, your mind flashing back to what happened to Levi, at long last able to understand what had happened that day, exactly, beyond ‘someone hurt him terribly,’ but unsure if what happened to you counted as that kind of abuse.

“Did he every touch you when you didn’t want to be touched, or pressure or force you to have sex with him when you didn’t want to?”

“Yes,” you said, voice somehow getting lower as you confirmed it. “More than once.”

You were trying to be very brief and vague about the way you confirmed what she was asking, because you didn’t want Levi to figure out what you were talking about, still attempting to shield him from at least some modicum of the reality of what you went through.

What you didn’t know was the Levi could hear what was being said. He was on full alert, keeping his eyes out for the slightest sign of trouble or Roy, and one of the things that meant was that he was listening very hard to his surroundings...and he could pick up the words coming from the other end of the phone with how close to him you were standing. If you were looking at his hands instead of his feet, you would have noticed the white knuckle grip on the bags in his hands, as well as the slight tremble in them.

“You mentioned earlier that your friend was trying to protect you, and that he felt you were in danger. That Roy shot at you. He actively tried to kill you?”

“Twice. Also before I met with my friend,” you told her.

“Had he reached that level of violence before?”

“Yes, but he usually stopped just short of it.”

The questions continued beyond that, the operator fishing for chargeable incidents she could put on the record of the call that you could talk about right now, your answers still kept brief with Levi next to you but still trying to make it clear so no one could claim too much ambiguity and shiftiness in her answers. You were still on the phone as you and Levi stood at the pickup point for the greyhound bus, Levi keeping to himself for the time being as you answered questions on the phone before, at long last, you hung up, pulling up the tickets on your burner phone and making sure to keep your father updated. You told him you were at the stop and that you’d given your side of the story, as well as telling him how much money you had left after the phone, food, and Levi’s clean change of clothes. He mentioned you might need to withdraw a bit more when you stopped to sleep at a hotel, and that he would shift around some money in the meantime so it would be there if you needed it, and that he would be ready to set up the bank withdraw through his phone again if you needed it.

Finally, finally, you tucked the phone into your pocket, looking up and around you at the bus stop, the sun starting to set and making darkness quickly settle over the area, the already chilly air getting gradually colder. The unknown yawning in front of you was terrifying, waiting for a greyhound bus to come and take you far, far away from Roy. The freedom was enough to make fresh tears well in your eyes, but the fear that the rug could still get yanked out from under you, the fact that you didn’t know where to go from here, that still terrified you.

You looked at Levi at your side, noticing that his eyes were still on you even though he’d been keeping to himself and letting you have your conversations in peace. He was tense, even though the lean against the bus stop bench glass wall suggested relaxation. There was only a bit of blood on the brown vest he was wearing over the white button up, the rest thoroughly washed away.

Fully grown, past the teenage years and childhood in general, Levi’s features were sharp and...even more attractive than they had been before. Though he also had a tougher exterior now, a general air of ‘do not mess with me’ that usually the kids in actual gangs in high school used to have. But that vibe wasn’t a deterrent for you, because you knew him as a person. You knew how soft and gentle and warm he could be--as he’d been with you since he’d appeared even when he pushed to try and get the truth from you for your own good, so he could protect you.

And after seeing him beat the shit out of Roy, even if the violence hadn’t been what you wanted because you were so sick of violence right now, and seeing him derail the shot so no one got hurt, you were never going to doubt that he could protect you ever again.

“Everything set?” Levi asked as you stared at him, straightening up and coming to stand directly beside you now.

You nodded. “The trip should bring us...or me, if you disappear again...to Dad’s,” you said, a slight waver in your voice at the thought of him disappearing. You didn’t want to go again. He was your safety blanket, your stability, the thing you were clinging to right now to get you through this, to get you to take the necessary steps to freedom, what was making you feel safe right now. You didn’t want him to disappear, you weren’t ready for him to disappear, especially with that lingering fear that it might be for years again, that you wouldn’t see him for so long--

“I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re safe,” he said bluntly, holding your gaze to make sure you understood he meant it.

Though you didn’t know how he was going to stop the universe throwing him back into his world, you didn’t question him. Instead, you stepped closer, put your arms around him, buried your face in his chest, and started to silently cry, seeking his comfort once more.

He put his arms around you tenderly, holding you securely against him until the greyhound bus appeared at the end of the street to take both of you far, far away from this place.

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @queenofcurse

Through the Looking Glass Tags: @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife @sanrioclit @wvnderfvllyalvne @sparkling-gayyyy @do-not-feed-sugar

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sabababa · 3 years

Text

What He Deserves

Shota Aizawa x Fem!Reader

Summary: (Y/n) finds Aizawa sitting alone in the dark in his classroom. He’s drunk and tells her how he caught his fiancee cheating on him. Since she’s in love with him, she stays by his side while he vents out his feelings. Including how he loves her.

Warnings: Alcohol (Aizawa drinking), Angst (Fluff ending), Vomit, Mentions of cheating

Word Count: 2.7k+

Part One of ???

Author’s Note: I might do more parts to this, so if you’re interested I can put you in the taglist. I’m definitely doing a second part though.

(Y/n) looked everywhere for her binder. So much so that the classroom was her last option. It had to be there. The binder held all her necessary paperwork for class 1-A. She was TA to Eraserhead, and no way could she mess up losing documents for his class. She trudged down the hallway to the familiar room. The moon was the only thing illuminating her path as she came up to the door. She slid it open without hesitation, and her eyes immediately went to glance atop the desk to see if the binder was in view. Instead, she found the underground hero hunched over the surface with a bottle of alcohol.

Her breath caught in her throat as he lazily rose his head to look at her, the sound must have stirred him. She couldn’t see him very well due to the darkness and her shadow casting over him, but the tension in the room felt tight, she gathered that he was upset about something, which was a rare thing to see. Taking a couple of steps inside the room, she called out to him.

“Shota?” She said, concerned as her brows knitted together. Seeing him look so defeated made her heart ache. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and take the pain away. His response was to look back at the desk and slump over it again. Since he didn’t object to her presence, she walked over to his form and slowly knelt next to the chair he sat in. She gently placed her hand on his forearm to grab his attention since she didn’t know how intoxicated he was. “Shota?” She spoke again, softer this time.

He turned his head again. Now that she was crouched beneath him and the moonlight filtered in to cast a glow upon his pale face; she saw how awful he looked- more than usual. Tears had stained his cheeks, and his face was tinted red from the liquor in his system. His eyes seemed especially hollow as he gazed at her. There was no glare, no annoyance, and no fight. Aizawa looked so defeated as he stared down at her. Another tear silently slid down his face. He took no action to wipe it away or even to let out a sob. He looked too weak to try.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I’ll stay here with you if you want so that you won’t be alone,” (Y/n) spoke once more in a whisper and gave a reassuring squeeze to his arm.

“I-I don’t wanna be alone,” he croaked out, probably from finally using his voice for however long he was silent. She gave him a small smile and stood up to walk around him to the extra chair that was just for her while he taught the class. She rolled it closer to him and rubbed his upper arm in comfort, mostly out of awkwardness. (Y/n) didn’t know if he would speak about his problems or if he would just sit there.

Aizawa turned his head to her again and then glanced down at the contact. He didn’t look angry, but (Y/n) still removed her hand, unsure how a drunk Aizawa would react to physical touch. She thought she saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes before he turned back to the drink in his hand. He took a shot and sighed once it left his lips. The bottle was close to being empty and (Y/n) hoped he didn’t drink the entire thing by himself in here, although, judging from the smell of him, that might have been the case. He took another look at her, and for a moment, they just locked eyes.

Due to the experience of his having quirk, he didn’t blink the entire time, which was unnerving for once to (Y/n). Finally, he looked away and tilted the bottle in his hand to stare at the remaining liquid. It swirled around as he rotated it lightly. After a moment of staring, he gulped down the last of it, and the glass bottle let out a ‘clink’ as he let it fall over and roll to the side. Now, with nothing, he rested his head in both his hands, digging his fingers into his scalp as he leaned forward more. (Y/n) took the moment to rub her hand across his back, and she felt his muscles relax from her touch, which warmed her heart to know she could bring some ease to him.

“She cheated on me,” Aizawa spoke suddenly, still in the same position, unmoving. (Y/n) wanted to ask him to explain more, but thought it best to keep quiet until he made some kind of move for her to speak. “My fiancee.” He continued. That’s right. He had a fiancee. She remembered now even though she wanted to forget.

“I have a fiancee,” he spoke bluntly as he tapped the papers against his desk to straighten them. (Y/n) stood back in shock. Her heart felt heavy in her chest at hearing those words. Somebody already took the man she loved, and there was nothing she could do. Aizawa noticed her expression and quirked a brow up. “What?”

“I-I-” She stuttered for a moment before letting out a light laugh to ease the tension. “I didn’t expect you to have a partner, let alone a fiancee!” She laughed some more to appear jovial at his news. “How long have you two been together?”

“About three years, we’ve only been engaged for one though, we weren’t able to put official plans into the wedding yet, stuff kept popping up for her and stalling the marriage,” He sounded disappointed. “But, we’ve finally made plans this spring.” He stood up and tucked the papers into his briefcase. Then he turned to her with his usual stoic expression. “And I’m inviting all my friends, which includes you. I know there’s supposed to be a card you have to sign to RSVP, but you’re one of the closest I have, and I wanted to tell you in person.”

That was only a few months ago now, and spring was starting to approach. His fiancee cheated on him right when their wedding was so close. (Y/n) felt her blood boil as she heard the news. That fiancee of his was supposed to make him happy, that’s why she stood to the side all this time because she thought this other woman would keep him happy, but instead, she broke his heart. Her hands turned into fists in her lap as she thought about the disgusting woman who didn’t deserve to be Aizawa’s fiancee. She had never met her and was glad of it. It would have only made things harder for her to see her in the flesh. It would have solidified that Aizawa would never be hers, but now? Now she wanted nothing more than to meet the woman that broke her love’s heart, just to give her a piece of her mind.

“I came home early from patrol,” he spoke again, “they got another hero to swap with me, and so I went straight home to see her. I open the door and see clothes and shoes a-and underwear a-a-and-” he took a sharp intake of breath before he continued. “And they were hers, but t-those weren’t mine, and I follow them to our bedroom and- and-” he hiccuped before steadying himself again. “And she was in bed- asleep- snuggling with some other guy a-and, I just LEFT!” He yelled at the end and gripped his hair tighter. His body grew tense, and his hair rose like when he used his quirk, but as quickly as it happened, it disappeared. He leaned back into the chair with an exhausted sigh. His body relaxed, and he let go of his hair as his hands fell into his lap. “I deserve it.” He finished.

(Y/n)’s eyes flew up to him in shock. She had kept her head down as she listened, but it jerked up upon hearing him finish. The anger washed away and instead was replaced with sadness. “No! You don’t!” She said as she reached out to him, swiveling his chair to face her. “You don’t deserve that! Why would you say that?” She said with a broken heart as her hands came out to wipe away his tears.

“Because I’ve been distant,” he said as he watched her clean his face. “She noticed, so she took care of her own needs.”

“That doesn’t give her any right to cheat.” (Y/n) held his head in her hands to make him focus on her. She secretly relished the feeling of his stubble against her smooth skin. “A real person would have talked it out, not go behind your back.”

“I think she already knew what the answer was and didn’t want to hear it,”

“And that is?”

Aizawa had turned his gaze from her long ago, but now he looked her in the eyes as he spoke. “I fell in love with someone else.”

(Y/n) froze at hearing his confession. Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again as her hands dropped from his face. “O-oh?” She didn’t know what to say. Even if she wasn’t in love with the guy, what could she say?

Aizawa stared at her as she stared back at him, waiting for a response. Finally, he made a move. He quickly captured her face in his hands and planted a deep kiss against her lips. She let out a surprised hum when she felt his warm lips against hers. Her lips never moved against his; it felt wrong. He was drunk, he was in pain, he probably didn’t even know what he was doing.

(Art belongs to me, please do not repost)

“Please kiss me,” he sobbed against her lips out of fear. His tears came back as he desperately pressed his lips to her’s again. She couldn’t resist a plea like that, so she did as he asked. Her lips molded against his, and she felt a tingle go down her spine. He hummed happily against her and dipped her head back to deepen the kiss, but as soon as it happened, he reeled back with his hand over his mouth. He quickly turned his chair around and grabbed the small trash can by his desk, emptying the contents of his stomach into it. (Y/n) sat there for a moment in a daze before she collected her thoughts and gave his back a soothing rub. “Sorry…” He groaned into the can.

She couldn’t tell if he apologized for kissing her or for throwing up in the middle of it. “It’s fine.” She answered before standing up and putting her hands under his shoulders to push him up. “You need to get some rest,” she grabbed the can from him and placed it back where it was. “Do you have anywhere else to stay?” (Y/n) grabbed the tissues on his desk and cleaned up his face. He just watched her dab and rub the soft paper against his lips and chin, his mouth slightly open from her gentle touches.

He nodded his head weakly. “I’ll stay in the lounge. I’ve got my sleeping bag there already,”

“Okay, well-” She pulled him up from the chair, and he stumbled forward, but she caught him and let him rest his weight against her, “you should go to the bathroom first and clean up.”

“Didn’t you just clean me?” He asked as she moved his arm over her shoulders and began to walk out of the room.

“Yes, but you still need to wash your mouth out and pee,” She teased, feeling like she was taking care of a child, and brought him to the men’s bathroom. “Can you stand on your own?” Even though she knew nobody was inside, it still felt taboo for her to enter. Aizawa merely nodded his head and stumbled inside, using the wall as leverage. As he did his business, (Y/n) walked down to one of the vending machines in the hallway, it was turned off, but all she had to do was plug it in. She pressed a sequence of buttons, and it dispensed a bottle of water for her.

Walking back over, she saw Aizawa exit the bathroom, and he had an uncomfortable look on his face. She quirked her brow in response to his expression. “I threw up again,” he mumbled.

She giggled once she finally reached his side. She found it funny how child-like he was being. “Did you do it in a toilet at least?”

He nodded once. “Yeah,”

(Y/n) hummed happily, glad to see that he wasn’t upset like before. She handed him the water bottle, and he took it from her. “You should try and sober up a bit before you sleep.”

He nodded again and took big gulps of water, only leaving half of it full. (Y/n) gingerly wrapped her hands around his arm and guided him to the teacher’s lounge. When they arrived, he immediately made his way to his desk and pulled out the sleeping bag from a drawer. He rolled it out onto the couch in the room and put his legs into it. He finished the rest of the water bottle before swaddling himself in the rest of the yellow fabric.

A content sigh fell from his lips as he zipped himself up, glad to be in a comfortable area. (Y/n) giggled as she watched him and made her way over to Midnight’s desk. “What’re you doing?” She heard Aizawa ask as she rummaged through different drawers before finally finding the medicine he needed.

“Getting you a pill for when you wake up in the morning,” she answered and walked over to the mini-fridge in the room. She grabbed a small water bottle and then a napkin on the table next to it that held food for whenever someone brought any treats in. “I don’t want you having a bad hangover in front of the students,” (Y/n) placed the items on a small table next to the couch, setting the bottle and pill on the napkin.

“How are you so nice?” He asked.

“Hm?” She hummed, her indication for him to explain more, as she crouched to his level.

“You’re always so nice,” he stated, “it’s hard to be nice, but for you, it’s like it comes naturally.”

“Guess I have a lot of practice,” she moved some of his hair back into the bag so it wouldn’t fall in his face. When she looked into his eyes, they were filled with adoration and wonder. “What?” She giggled at his expression.

He blinked a few times, realizing he was staring, and then brought his scarf up to cover his face, but his eyes still showed. “Nothing,” he mumbled.

(Y/n) only smiled at how expressive Aizawa was being, it was a new experience for her, and she enjoyed it. “Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?” She asked quietly, noticing how his eyes were getting droopy.

“Mhm,” he hummed and closed his eyes. He fell asleep quickly, and (Y/n) took it upon herself to clean up the classroom before leaving. She didn’t want anyone to see that he got drunk in school. She put the glass bottle into the soiled trash bag, tied it up, and took it to the janitor’s closet, where she threw it into a big trash bin. Then, she grabbed one of the smaller trash bags and headed back to the classroom to place it in the bin. She pushed the chairs into their proper positions, and it brought the memory of the kiss back to her. Goosebumps trailed across her skin from the thought. Her crush kissed her; even though he was drunk and hurting, it still felt nice to feel his lips.

(Y/n) took a deep breath and collected her thoughts before returning to check on Aizawa. He was still asleep, his mouth open slightly to let out quiet breaths. She gazed at the man that had stolen her heart, and because he had it, she couldn’t bear to leave him. The school was big, dark, and eerily quiet. She hated the thought of leaving him here alone all night. So she went to the end of the couch where his feet were and folded her arms to lay against them on the cushion while her body sat on the floor. As she stared at him again before closing her eyes, she hoped he wouldn’t kick in his sleep.

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Masterlist

#shota aizawa x reader #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #female reader #aizawa oneshot #shouta x reader

100 notes · View notes

obiwhat · 3 years

Note

Hey! I've been reading one of your fics and I kinda felt the need to request one! Your writing is so good! If it's levi/erwin is up to you, but that is the ship I'm usually going with 😍🙃

My rec is; Levi is acting out after his squad is killed (Petra, Eld, Gunter and Oulo/Auro? Ouro? I don't even know anymore-) in the way of how he would let out steam in the underground. He goes out drinking and instigates a fight, intentionally or subconsciously, and ends up getting overpowered by a group of men, probably because of his drunkenness and perhaps because of the injured ankle he sustained after the meeting with the female titan. His injuries after the fight are significant and eventually, he's found in an alleyway (or something), by Erwin who's been worried about his mental state (cause obviously, Levi has been trying to hide it, all though rather poorly), and takes care of him.

I hope this isn't too specific 😅 I take requests myself and appreciate people being as thorough as possible. If not; take whatever you like and run with ut 😄😄

AHH THANK YOU FOR SUCH A DETAILED ASK!! good stuff right here^^ big brain moves^^

Fix You:

(AO3)

(warning: language, violence, a bit of a emetophobia and drinking ofc)

His heart ached.

It spread through his chest into every limb of his body, to the point where the horrible throbbing from his ankle felt like a slight ache in comparison.

Every time Levi lost someone, it broke away a little piece of him. Even though he’d never let it see the surface, there were several cracks underneath. When he found his squad; bloody, with limbs dangling from trees and branches, it broke off another rather large piece.

These were people he had trained closely. Erwin had trusted him enough to assign him a special leadership role in the Scouts and a special operations squad to suit it. When he trained them, he had drilled it into their heads everyday not to die. He gave them every bit of his knowledge on how to survive in the shitty world they had to endure.

He wasn’t a leader. He never had been. Unfortunate people just tended to follow behind him. Levi never knew the right thing to say or how to express what he was thinking, but his squad had still learned quickly. They were smart and skillful and he was… proud of them. Truly.

And their blood still painted that forest floor.

Levi knocked back another shot, numbing the pain for a moment longer. A fleeting escape from the horrors that crept into his mind yet again that night. He was dangling off of his bar stool as he slouched forward even further with his shoulders barely holding his head up. He flagged down the waiter for another round.

It wasn’t exactly clear what had driven him to the rougher side of town, to drown himself in shitty booze. It had a lot to do with his hands, which he refused to look down at. Every time he did, he saw red. Dark crimson. The blood of his comrades. Paired with the echo of radiating pain from his ankle. A pain, he felt, was well deserved.

He wasn’t even supposed to be walking on it, as much as possible at least. Hanji had given him grief about going to an actual doctor for the pain and the swelling. At the moment, he couldn’t find the will to care. As long as he could shove it into his boot and stumble his way into a bar for the night, then he was fine by his standards.

He downed another shot of whiskey, barely feeling the burn in the back of his throat any longer. The room spun, he huffed out a broken laugh quietly under his breath. It’d been years since he’d drank himself to this pathetic point. Not since the underground. Or maybe not since Farlan and…

He threw back the next shot and took in a sharp breath as he stubbornly blocked the memory from surfacing. His eyelids shut tightly as he tried to remove the thoughts of his failures from his mind. All the people he’d failed to protect. Despite his overwhelming strength.

Humanity’s strongest soldier…

What a load of bullshit.

He flagged down the bartender once more and asked for the whole damn bottle, slurring his words to the point of near incomprehension. The bartender didn’t seem to mind. Money was money. Even if his patrons drank themselves into a ditch. That’s how it went in these parts of town. Money was the only language anyone spoke, because money was the only way anyone could make it through the day.

It reminded him of home.

He slammed down his money and swiped the bottle from the counter, the bar spun wildly as he stood on his feet again. Levi had nearly forgotten about his injury, the sudden shift of weight onto his ankle sent him stumbling a bit. He hissed in pain, but only responded with another pull of the whiskey, straight from the bottle.

As the chilled night breeze hit him, Levi felt a sudden wave of disgust. It was the smell of sewage and grime. These alleyways were radiating with it. Swaying a bit, Levi grabbed out blindly for purchase. His palm found a brick wall, covered in something sticky. He winced, pain shooting up his leg as the alleyway walls spun dizzyingly around him.

The pain was welcome. In fact, he’d decided he didn’t deserve the numbness that the whiskey brought. He should feel it all. He’d gotten his comrades killed. Again. He wanted to feel something. To hit something.

Levi’s chance was walking down the other side of the alleyway, feet dragging confidently through the sludge of the streets. A group of men walking together, talking irritatingly loud in contrast to the quiet night streets Levi had enjoyed before.

“Haha! He was dumber than he looked!” One hollered confidently.

“What’d you expect from a son of a whore?” A burly man spit as he laughed, his dull voice echoing through the alleyway. He was obviously somewhat of a leader to them.

His last word perked Levi’s attention. He gripped his whiskey bottle tightly in one hand, nearly busting it into pieces.

“That’s a choice word there.” Levi lazily brought up a shaky finger, along with the whiskey bottle, to point in the direction of the burly man. Or at least where he thought he was. His vision was dancing.

The leader laughed a grating chuckle and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What is, you drunk idiot? You got a problem with the word whore?”

“I gotta problem with your shit leaking face.”

Levi growled out his words with a half cocked smirk, looking much like a wild animal in the dark of the alleyway. Although his threatening appearance was subdued by the fact that he could barely balance on his feet, without the help of the wall nearby.

“Haha!” The man belly-laughed once more, drawing near, his companions followed closely behind him.

“You got some guts, short stuff. Got the chops to back that shit up?”

The leader rolled back his sleeves, his friends followed suit. They were all geared up to fight him. Levi laughed hollowly in the dark. A sick, empty, laugh influenced by the whiskey fueling his veins.

He swung hard at the burly man, a bit surprised to have connected with his jaw. Levi could barely see straight at this point. A hit was coming from his left, which he barely dodged sluggishly before grabbing the man’s arm with the hand that wasn’t still gripping his whiskey. He twisted it, breaking the man’s wrist.

Levi took a slow swig of the whiskey before he caught a glimpse of something shiny out of the corner of his eye, coming from his right. Someone had pulled a knife. Interesting.

It didn’t quite register properly until the next man lunged at him and he barely had the chance to grip his hand before the knife could plunge into his chest. This new face looked angry. Angrier that Levi had felt about the burly man’s comment. The cause of this chosen chaos. In fact, Levi wasn’t feeling much anger at all over this fight.

The knife drew closer and closer. Levi managed to smack it away, not a moment too soon. The sound of metal crossing the stone ground echoed over the heavy breathing of the group. Levi had placed a heavy weight on his ankle with his last move causing a bit of a wince to unconsciously form on his face. Before he could register what had happened, he felt an even more crippling shock ripple through his entire leg.

He gasped suddenly, vision darkening.

The whiskey bottle hit the ground, spilling the burgundy liquid all over the stone floor. Glass shards scattered all around.

The man had kicked him, hard, in his wounded leg. Right where he’d shoved his bruised, aching flesh into his boot. Levi’s legs gave out beneath him and his knees connected with the stone below with a loud thud. His palms hit glass in front of him as he could barely hold himself upright.

His head was spinning, swirling, and darkening his vision around the edges as he knew nothing but white hot pain for what felt like an eternity.

“I knew it! He’s got a bum leg!” The man who’d pulled the knife shouted gleefully to the remaining members of the crew.

He must’ve noticed Levi’s wince from before. The man sent another crack into Levi’s wounded leg, sending ripples of agony through his entire body. It sobered him to another level fairly quickly. The other men were getting to their feet again as Levi quivered on the ground in pain, gripping his palms into glass and whiskey.

Everything was dark around him as another anticipated strike came through, this one connected harshly with his ribs. There was a deafening crack of bone. There was nothing he could do but wait for the next impact. He couldn’t help but yell out in pain as the agony overwhelmed him. Levi nearly passed out as his head hit the cold stone, whiskey and grime covering one side of his face.

With the side of his face, not plastered to the ground, Levi could spot more legs swinging, connecting with his side, and more sounds of shouting. He couldn’t tell if the shouting was his own anymore. He couldn’t feel much of anything anymore, everything was fading out slow. He was fading.

There were six faces dancing around above him in his hazy vision. His head pounded as he tried desperately to get a grip on his consciousness.

Had there always been six of them? Or were they doubling from his drunken, wounded stupor? They all swirled into a confusing mess of faces. Ugly, contorted, swirling faces. He felt sick.

Another shock connected with his ribs. He heard another sickening crack over their laughs and hollers before his vision finally graced him with complete and utter darkness.

—

Another dead end and no sign of the captain.

At some point he was going to have to send out a missing report. Erwin was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to that, but after hours of scouring the near entirety of the city and finding nothing, he was beginning to accept the facts. Levi was missing.

Missing. Out of bed. Injured.

Erwin remembered when he first saw Levi’s leg after the expedition. He’d only caught a glimpse when Hanji was looking him over. It was horribly bruised and swollen, raw. A part of him blamed himself, he’d sent the captain to fight the female titan. Yet again, Levi had sacrificed a part of himself for humanity. His wounded leg was a sacrifice, but Erwin knew there were much heavier weights on him, paining him deeper than flesh would show.

This small section of town was not one he expected to find Levi in. It was full of filth and squalor. A familiar sight to that of the underground. Something he’d assumed Levi would never return to willingly.

A chill was in the air. Cool breeze passed on the outside of his hood as Erwin pulled it over his eyes. He turned into what he assumed was one of the last streets he hadn’t checked yet. There was a group of men who had just left an alleyway quickly, Erwin noticed a bit of blood on their clothes and faces, not exactly a shock in this part of town.

One man was gripping at his wrist and complaining loudly as they passed Erwin by.

“Piece of shit broke my wrist!” He cried out and kicked a stone on the ground irritatedly.

“Be glad it wasn’t your neck, I bet he would’ve been a lot more dangerous if his leg wasn’t busted. I think he was trained or something. Did you see the way…” Their conversation trailed off as they disappeared around a corner.

Erwin was no longer listening, he was more focused on a particular phrase in their conversation.

Busted leg? Erwin thought for a moment, fearing the worst in the back of his mind. It couldn’t be…

The commander broke into a quicker pace, sweat dripping nervously down the back of his neck as he followed the alleyway, where the men had come from. It was dark and smelled of filth, blanketed in whiskey. There was glass covering the ground as he walked further, he could hear it crunch underneath his boots with each step.

Out of the corner of his eye, Erwin caught a glimpse of black dress shoes. A body lay slumped up against the brick wall of the alley. A head of dark hair, shadowing a pale and bloody face.

Levi.

Erwin kneeled down quickly and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, attempting to rouse him gently. His body was shaking horribly, covered in his own blood and the scent of whiskey.

“Levi…? Please.” Erwin winced as his voice died in his throat. “Say something. Are you alright?”

There was no response. Erwin pushed his dark locks out of his eyes to get a better view of his face. The blood he’d spotted earlier was dripping from his lips which made him immediately check his torso for wounds. He couldn’t find any blood, but when he lifted his shirt carefully, he spotted it.

Erwin had looked emotionlessly at many wounds before, but this made him winced in sympathy. Seeing black and blue paint the side of Levi’s porcelain, perfect skin made him want to run and find those men from before. But no. Levi was the most important thing right now and he had injured himself even worse than before.

The thought over his previous injury crossed Erwin’s mind as he hesitantly lifted Levi’s pant leg. If the bruising on his torso was dark, his leg looked like the night sky. His bruises were black and dark purple, spiraling their way up to his knee. The flesh was swollen and warm to the touch when Erwin hovered his hand above it nervously.

How did this happen? Why was Levi here in the first place? He smelled heavily of alcohol, it was probably what was covering his clothes and turning his cheeks pink. Had he come here to get drunk? To start a fight in an alleyway?

It would be very uncharacteristic of him. But, of course, finding him here in the first place was very uncharacteristic. He wasn’t himself. He hadn’t been for some time now.

Without time to spare, Erwin pulled his cloak off of his shoulders and wrapped Levi’s broken, shivering form. He frowned as he watched the man continue to shake harshly despite the warmth of the cloth. He hadn’t even noticed Erwin’s presence, unusually unalert and dazed.

“It’ll be alright Levi. I’m here now.” His hands hovered over his chest. He’d have to carry him back. “I have to lift you. Please endure it for a moment, we’re not too far from my house.”

Erwin scooped him off of the filthy stone floor and into his warm hold as carefully as he could muster. Levi moaned in pain in his embrace, Erwin pulled him tighter against his chest as he brought them out of the dark alleyway and back into the light.

—

A bath was in order. Erwin knew Levi inside and out. He knew he wouldn’t be too keen on waking up smelling like alcohol and blood. He’d be better if he was cleaned up a bit and his wounds were wrapped. Erwin was determined to fix this. To fix him.

He laid Levi’s still, unconscious body carefully into his bathtub, kneeling beside him and washing off the dirt and the blood from his face with a cool rag. He was so delicate with him, like he was handling fragile glass.

Erwin surprised even himself with how carefully he guided the rag across Levi’s broken skin. He wasn’t used to being this careful and soft. War and death had all but stripped him of these qualities. But not with Levi. With Levi, he was different.

It had been a struggle carrying the captain back, with his wounds being so extensive. However, Erwin had made it to his house in record time without much unconscious complaint from the shivering form in his arms. He had been light. Far too light for Erwin’s liking.

He tried to ignore the way Levi’s collar bones stuck out slightly as he washed away soap and the whiskey smell with the soft scrub. Erwin couldn’t bear to glance at the curious patterns of bruises over Levi’s thin body or the way his chest rose and fell with a heavy struggle. He just continued to wash away the soap and water.

Erwin scooped a bit of water into his palms and washed it through Levi’s hair, watching as the last of the blood and whiskey found its way down the drain. As the water trickled through his dark hair, down the back of his neck, Levi stirred a bit but never opened his eyes.

“E-Erwin…” Levi breathed through his words, dazed and unaware of his own incoherent mumbles.

“I’m here, Levi.” Erwin gripped his slender hand tight and ran his other across the man’s creased forehead. “I’m right here. You’re alright.”

“No…” Levi mumbled, voice breaking as his eyes pinched together tighter. “Can’t leave me… Not you… too…”

“I won’t leave you Levi... I promise.”

Such promises were foolhardy in the work they did, but Erwin couldn’t stop himself from making it. He couldn’t stand the way his captain cried out in pain and heartbreak, it was worse than any gruesome scene he’d witnessed.

Levi leaned into his touch as Erwin cupped his palms around his cheeks and kissed his forehead gently. He didn’t know exactly what possessed him to do so, but it seemed to cause some relief from his captain so he allowed it.

Once he was clean, dry and warming up again, Erwin took him to his warm bed to rest finally. He dressed his wounds carefully, glad to see that Levi was finally resting somewhat peacefully. He hoped he could now sense his presence at least. To know he wasn’t alone tonight.

Erwin was concerned with the heat radiating from Levi’s ankle as he wrapped it. He was determined to get Levi to an actual doctor in the morning to look everything over. He would command him this time, to ensure he actually did so. For now, he placed a cool rag on the man’s forehead just in case a fever began, which was entirely likely.

He was in rough shape. Erwin had been lucky to find him when he did.

What if he hadn’t? Would he have caught his death in the chilled night? Or slept on the cold stone ground, injured and alone?

Erwin couldn’t understand Levi’s behavior. It wasn’t like him in the slightest. He was usually so level headed and composed. It made the commander ache to think that this sacrifice had made the man fall so low.

—

A dark ceiling was spiraling above him. One that seemed vaguely familiar. His head hurt too much to even try to deduce where the hell he was. There was a cool cloth placed on his brow, wrappings covered his ribs, palms, and leg, his shirt was missing.

All this spinning was aggravating.

He was going to be sick.

Levi crumbled off the side of the bed, hardly making it to the floor as his legs refused to hold him. His body was broken, defeated, exhausted beyond belief. A dizzying roll to his stomach made him clutch it in pain. There was a waste bin by the bed frame which he gratefully and regrettably clutched to his chest.

For a moment, nothing happened. He wished it would, feeling unbelievably nauseous and confused. But he could do nothing to help himself rather than sitting there, shakily clutching the bin.

“Levi…” A familiar whisper found him in the dark.

He jumped and lashed out with a blind strike that hit nothing but air. Erwin’s hand gripped his wrist softly and lowered it, slow. “It’s just me. You’re here with me, at my house.”

Levi’s chest collapsed in breath as he winced again and dry heaved into the bin. Nothing had come from it. He hadn’t eaten enough. He hadn’t eaten much at all… Since…

Blood… Everywhere…

He dry heaved again, gripping the bin with white knuckles. Erwin rubbed soft circles on his back. The familiar touch was welcome despite the circumstances.

“You haven’t been eating, have you?” He asked, quiet so as to not upset Levi further.

Levi didn’t respond. Not because he was unable, but because he simply did not want to. It was pointless. He couldn’t have stomached food. Not while looking at the blood on his hands as he chowed down. Not while his comrades were left bloody in those damn woods.

He slid the bin to the ground and brought his knees into his chest despite the pain it caused him. Levi rubbed cruel circles into his thigh as his wound echoed agony through his entire leg.

He heard Erwin inhale deeply.

“Levi… Why were you…? You can’t just do something like this. What if I hadn’t found you?”

“How did… you… find me?” Levi coughed slightly as his breath caught in his injured chest.

Something deep inside him almost wished Erwin hadn’t found him at all. He shut it away.

“I came to your room to check on you.” Erwin explained, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. “You weren’t there, so I went looking at your regular spots.”

Levi faced his head towards his chest and buried his face deeper, to try to escape this. He wanted to escape again. It was all too much.

“I didn’t think you’d be in the bar district. It was the last place I tried looking.”

He’s been looking for me all night then.

What an idiot.

“Why were you there, Levi?” His voice turned soft, a tone that only Levi had probably ever heard from the man. Something sacred between them.

“Why do you think?” Levi’s tone was more venomous than he intended. If his head wasn’t pounding, he might’ve corrected himself.

“I was worried about you.” Erwin maintained that soft voice despite Levi’s defensive nature. He placed a hesitant hand on the injured man’s knee.

“With everything going on, I can’t lose you too. I need you.”

He needs me, huh?

Why?

Levi hadn’t realized he’d asked it aloud.

“Why?” Erwin repeated his words back to him, looking damaged by the question. “Because…”

The words caught in his throat, at a loss for the right phrasing.

“You’re important to me. To humanity.”

Humanity…

It all feels like a bad joke…

What part of humanity am I even helping if everyone around me gets killed?

“Why’d you even let me train a squad? I just got them all murdered…” Levi felt his chest hitch.

“Their blood… Erwin…”

He finally risked a glance at his shaking hands and clenched his fists so hard he thought his fingernails might draw blood from his flesh.

“It’s all over my hands.”

Erwin was silent. Without his drawing of breath nearby, Levi wouldn’t have known he was even still there with him. But he was, he knew Erwin would never leave him alone right now.

“No matter how many times I scrub them…” He swallowed a wave of nausea as he could see the red start to blanket his palms again. He felt insane. “I can't clean the blood off.”

Suddenly, large warm fingers wrapped around his slender hands, steadying them for him.

“I can't either.”

Erwin’s voice was hoarse in the dark. He rubbed a thumb across the back of Levi’s hand softly, despite the pain in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” His words soothed something deep inside Levi’s aching chest. “We’ll never be able to wipe this blood away.”

Levi released a captive breath, leaning forward into Erwin’s chest despite the burning in his ribs. Erwin could soothe it. He could soothe this pain. Even just by a fraction. Levi sunk into him with fatigue in his bones.

“It reminds us of their sacrifice. What they did for humanity. What we will continue to do for humanity, with their strength fueling our fight.”

Humanity… Humanity’s Strongest…

Never strong enough to save anyone important though…

No one really needs me… Especially not like this…

Broken…

“Stop. You’ll regret it.” His deep voice was stern now. A command from years ago. A call back to reality. “You were a good leader to them. They did their duty well. Perfectly.”

“Don’t—” Levi’s voice caught in his throat.

“You taught them well. They were able to live as long as they did only because of you. Because of what they learned from their time with you.” Erwin brushed a hand through his hair softly and held him closer. “You did well by them. They were proud to die under your last command, I can promise you that.”

Levi wanted to argue, to refuse this, but he couldn’t find the strength behind words just yet. He could only be held tightly by his commander and hear his voice next to his ear.

“I saw the way they looked up to you. Worshipped you in some cases. Loved you in others. They would not do this if you weren’t worthy of it.” He pressed further. “Just the idea of you makes our soldiers confident in a future of freedom. It’s not just your physical capabilities, Levi. It’s the strength within you as well. That is why you’re important.”

He meant it. He meant every damn word. Levi had never heard someone speak so passionately about another person. With such vigor and honesty. It made his heart clench painfully in his broken chest.

“You have to continue. For them.” He whispered in Levi’s ear now, soft and comforting. “For me, as well. I need you, most of all.”

Tears finally found their way onto Levi’s cheeks, eyes turning red in irritation. He cursed himself and crumbled in Erwin’s arms completely.

“God it hurts… It hurts all over.” He couldn’t tell if he was talking about the pain in his heart or the pain in his body. It didn’t really matter as Erwin caressed him softly and made it fade for just a moment.

Erwin didn’t numb him like the alcohol had. He allowed him to feel, to cry, to express. And he held him tightly through it all.

Until the morning sun rose, finding them fast asleep in each other's embrace on the wooden floor. Soft rays of sunlight crossed their cheeks in unison.

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