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leviathans-watching · 2 years

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chaos causer | chapter 1

includes: mammon x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: 2.5k | rated t | m.list | series m.list | ao3

a/n: welcome to the first chapter of chaos causer!! there will be four total chapters that are all already written and one will be posted every three days. to be added to the taglist, click here, and to see links to the original craigslist ad, the series summary, & the full list of tags, click here.

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I should switch to eBay, Mammon thinks as he scrolls past the tenth unappealing ad in as many minutes. Why he's even using a human site like Craigslist is beyond him, but hey, you never know when you’ll find a gem. He doesn't sell on it, preferring to stick to Devildom-centered marketplaces, but he has no qualms when buying. Humans generally have crap and junk listed, but sometimes there will be something that appeals to him, something new to add to his collection.

An ad title catches his attention and he clicks on it with an amused huff. What could this be?

Alone for the holidays? Mad at your family? Hire me to ruin the night.

I am a human magic user that has recently had a lot of time open up to me with nothing to fill it. Why not use this time in a meaningful way? I asked myself, before dismissing the idea. I’m a young adult willing to pretend to be your date for any holiday dinner or party.

Thanks to my magic, I can play any age, except child (for obvious reasons), and have no problem changing my appearance as need be. I am a skilled actor and promise to sell my character well. Your satisfaction is guaranteed.

I revel in causing chaos and making things worse so I can and will do any of the following at your request:

Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion

Openly hit on other guests while you pretend to not notice/care

Propose to you in front of everyone

Pretend to be drunk/otherwise inebriated early on in the evening

Start an actual, physical (or magical!) fight with anyone in the family, either inside or outside of the house

Use the worst manners you’ve ever seen in your life

Be pretentious or pretend to be knowledgeable about something I clearly don’t understand

Never stop talking and overshare way too much

& other things along the same line

I require no payment aside from the free meal. This offer is available to anyone in any of the three realms, as I have experience dealing with an assortment of humans, angels, and demons. Do NOT contact me with unsolicited offers or services.

Text or call me with offers at [your number].

The ad has to be a joke. Has to be! Who would go out of their way to do such a thing, especially on a night meant for family and friends? And who would be crazy enough to hire someone to do such a thing? Mammon can’t wrap his mind around it.

He reads it once more, this time pausing to imagine what it’d be like if he were to hire you to do something like you’re describing. He can’t deny the smile that grows on his face as he pictures it. Your profile picture looks deceptively normal, with you smiling at the camera, but something mischievous glimmers in your eyes that leaves him with no doubt that you’d be able to wreak havoc in a family if you so desired.

And it sounded like you desired, judging by the ad.

Shaking his head, Mammon shuts off his D.D.D., rolling off his bed. Even as he gets ready for the student council meeting Lucifer had made sure he knew about, your ad still lingers in his head, making it hard for him to focus.

“Mammon,” Lucifer says from behind him, voice ice cold. Mammon turns slowly, already dreading the inevitable lecture. How was he supposed to have known the guests they’d be hosting would be offended by his offer to trade valuables? It wasn’t like they had said they were important cultural items! And they were totally overreacting, they could have just said ‘no thanks’ instead of blowing it all out of proportion!

“What’s up, Lucifer?”

“Your behavior this afternoon was entirely unacceptable,” Lucifer snaps. “You just ruined decades of diplomatic work in a singular meeting! How someone manages to do such a thing is completely beyond me.”

“It wasn’t-” Mammon tries, but Lucifer cuts him off, eyes glowing red.

“I don’t want to hear any excuses,” he says firmly. “I am most disappointed in you. Diavolo has spent far too much time and effort on securing alliances and relationships for you to be so careless. It's like you don’t even care about the fate of this realm. Classic Mammon,” he continues, more to himself than to Mammon, “too self-centered to think of anyone but yourself.”

“Hey!” Mammon protests. “I was tryin’ to be welcoming! Trades are an essential part of any deal and I thought maybe they’d like it if they came outta this with some bonafide Devildom treasures! They shoulda been honored I was willin’ to trade with them.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Lucifer rubs at his temples. “You were just being greedy, once again. Honestly, Mammon. I have no idea as to why you have such a hard time with your sin. The rest of us are all afflicted by such things as well and we never cause scenes like you do.”

The shot stings, and he has no retort prepared. Why is he constantly in trouble for his sin when the rest of them can do as they please with it and have no one give a damn? Why is it natural for them to indulge but selfish and bad when he does it? And bullshit, ‘no one else causes scenes’! He can think up at least five scandals caused by his brothers in the last month!

“I have half a mind to banish you from the council altogether,” Lucifer says, and ice runs through Mammon’s veins. He wouldn’t do that, would he? “Diavolo already has enough on his plate without you causing trouble. Honestly, you’re lucky he’s so kind. If I were in his place, I would not stand for one fraction of the insolence and disrespect you show to him.”

Mammon’s hands clench into fists. So Lucifer cares more for Diavolo than he does his own brother? The realization, while not surprising, is still disappointing. His brothers all think of him as Lucifer does, don’t they? Scummy and troublesome and not worth the time. Anger - it’s anger, Mammon tells himself - stings in the back of his eyes.

They think he’s that bad, do they? Your ad swims to the front of his thoughts, clear and descriptive. Maybe he’ll just have to prove them right, once and for all.

Mammon makes plans to meet you in a small coffee shop in your town. It’s probably easier for him to travel to you than for you to travel to him. When he gets there, you already have a drink, picking at the edges of the cardboard sleeve around the cup. Again, you look deceptively normal, but when he sits, the smile you give him is nothing short of impish. You slide him a drink that had gone previously unnoticed, and he accepts it gratefully.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Mammon says, a little nervously.

“Thanks for replying to my ad,” you return, brushing the cardboard flakes onto the floor subtly. “I was beginning to think no one would.”

“I thought it was a joke, at first,” confesses Mammon. “Honestly, I still kinda do.”

Your smile turns rueful. “No joke, I promise. So, want to tell me about your family?”

Mammon struggles to find a place to start. “Well, we’re a pretty affluent family down in the Devildom. My brother is close to the Demon Lord’s son, Diavolo, and he’s pretty high-strung, so any time I’m out of line, it's treated as a grave offense.”

“That sounds tough,” you say sympathetically, and even though he has just met you, his chest warms a little at your understanding. How it that you, a stranger, supports him more than his own brothers do?

“Believe me. My other brothers are annoying too, though he’s the worst. Recently, we got into a spat where he basically told me he thinks I’m the worst outta all of them. He gets on me for things that he lets slide with them and constantly is in my business because he thinks he knows best. It’s really annoying. My other brothers poke fun at me and just get on my nerves, as they make jokes about my intelligence and other things that I can’t control. I’m pretty sick of it, so when I saw your ad it made me want to prove them all right, in a vindictive sort of way.”

He fears, for a moment, that you’re going to try to talk him out of it, or say he’s overacting, or something, something that will destroy what little composure he has left, but you just nod, pursing your lips.

“Well, I can definitely help.” You grin, suddenly, light dancing in your eyes. “You’ve come to the right place. Want to tell me more about the dinner itself and each of the brothers I’ll be dealing with and what my approach should be? I find it easiest when I do it with as much knowledge as possible.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“Not this situation, exactly, but similar stuff, yeah,” you say with a shrug, as if it’s not the most mindboggling Mammon has ever heard.

“Huh.” Mammon pauses to take a sip of his drink. It’s not something he would have ordered for himself, but you bought it for him, so he’s definitely not going to say anything. “Well, the night starts off at my house, usually. We all hang out there for a while, which is where I’d introduce you and everythin’, then we head over to Diavolo’s place, where we eat and make polite conversation and all that jazz. It's not a fancy event, per se, but you definitely don’t show up in jeans.”

“Is that something you want me to do?” you ask. “Show up horribly underdressed?”

Mammon can’t deny that would be funny. “I’m not sure yet. But that would set a good tone for the evening.”

“Let me know either way,” you say, and Mammon continues on with his explanation.

“Okay, so first is Lucifer,” Mammon sighs. “He’s my older brother and the one I always get into fights with.”

“Wait,” you interrupt, “like Lucifer, Avatar of Pride? Oh shit,” you say when he nods, “so you’re Mammon, Avatar of Greed?”

“Uh, yeah?” Mammon raises an eyebrow. “Is that an issue?”

“No, no,” you say hastily, waving your hands. “You said affluent, but I didn’t know you meant that affluent.” At his mystified expression, you clarify. “Your family is kind of a big deal to us humans. You’re like, the demonic version of the Kardashians.” This doesn’t help him, so you just wave your hand. “Never mind. No, it’s not going to be an issue, it just surprised me.”

“Okay,” Mammon says slowly. “Anyway, he can be a real asshole. He’s got a big stick up his ass and makes it his mission to let everyone know. And then Levi, one of my younger brothers - I’m the second oldest, by the way - uh, he teases me when he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on, so it gets on my nerves. He’s an otaku and pretty antisocial. Then there’s Satan. He’s got more beef with Lucifer than I do, which is saying something, and he can be a real dick. Thinks he’s better than everyone, especially me.” He continues explaining the rest of his brothers, then adds on where you probe.

“Okay, now that I have a good idea of who you all are,” you say, clasping your hands, “what kind of shit do you want me to pull. I’ve pretended to be an asshole but only where my ‘partner’ couldn’t see, but I’ve also done shit right in front of them before. Depends on what the person wants.”

Mammon thinks for a moment. “Right in front of me, but I’ll pretend to be so smitten that I don’t notice. And as far as the stuff on your ad goes, feel free to do any and all of it. Wherever you see an opening, try to cause some trouble. You mentioned in your ad you can use magic?”

“I can.” Pride is evident in your voice. “I’ve got a sorcerer's license and everything. I’m proficient in many different areas, including dueling, which is why I’d be willing to get into a magic-based fight, and I have experience in most types of spells, charms, and curses.”

“Impressive,” Mammon murmurs. He’s not going to encourage you to get into a magic-based fight, not against his brothers, since that’d be horribly unfair to you, but it’s helpful to know. “We’ll see where the night takes us on that. For now, just plan on being a complete and utter menace.”

“Got it.” Again, that sly mischief is in your eyes, and it sends electricity down his spine. “I swear I’ll do my best to do my worst.”

Mammon snorts. “That’s all I ask. And as for payment, I know you said only dinner but are you sure you don’t want any other compensation? I feel bad, puttin’ you through this and you getting nothing in return.”

“No, but thank you. Seeing everyone’s faces is its own reward,” you say. “And if we’re eating at the Demon Lords’ castle, then I at least know I’m eating good. So really, don’t worry about it.”

“If you’re sure.” Mammon’s still dubious, but he’s not going to push. “Hey, feel free not to answer this, but why put that ad up in the first place? Isn’t there someone you could be celebrating with instead?” You get a funny look on your face, and Mammon suddenly feels bad for asking. He’s not prone to regret, and the feeling sits heavy in his stomach. “Ah, I’m sorry,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “That was awfully invasive of me.”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt softly. “It’s only natural to be curious. And to answer your question, not really. I have friends, of course, but I don’t wish to intrude on their holidays, and my family, well. Let’s just say they’re not a viable option.” You laugh, but it’s decidedly less mirthful than before. “I figured at least this way I’d get some fun and a good meal. Do something I enjoy rather than feeling sorry for myself.”

“Oh,” Mammon says after a moment. “Well, like you said, the food will definitely be good, and if you don’t get at least a little bit of fun out of it, well, then, we did something wrong.”

“I’ll remember that,” you say, some of your spark returning. “If there’s anything else you think I should do, or if you have any other ideas, text me.” He already had your number from setting up this meeting. “And if not, then I look forward to seeing you next week.”

Because, yep, the dinner was next week. How Mammon would survive until then, he didn’t know, but excitement already crackled under his skin.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

#obey me #obey me game #obey me shall we date #shall we date otome #mammon obey me #obey me mammon #mammon avatar of greed #mammon x reader #mammon x you #mammon x mc #mammon x y/n #obey me x you #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #leviswriting #leviswriting-obeyme #obey me swd #omswd #obey me fanfic

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redley-of-many-noodles · 3 months

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Hello there,

Welcome to my blog.

I’m Redley. Relatively new to Tumblr still, but I’ve been finding that I’m comfy here. Though it still feels awkward (thanks, dysphoria), I prefer she/her pronouns. I don’t mind they/them, but… meh. Note that Redley is neither my legal or chosen name; it is solely a handle, and I will only tell you my chosen name if I feel comfortable with you. If I extend that trust, please treat it with respect. If you don’t, I will remember.

Here’s the main stuff I’m comfortable sharing or want you to know about me:

1) I’m transfem, but haven’t had an opportunity to do much actual transitioning yet. Dislike my voice, adore my hair. My luscious, glorious, flowing hair.

1.5) I am likely pansexual, but I haven’t done enough research to know for sure. All I know is, people are… well, people are hot.

2) I live in Florida, but was not raised here. The climate and scenery are nice; the local government sucks ass though. Also, I miss snow.

3) I’m a diagnosed autistic, falling somewhere on the high-functioning end of the spectrum. I’m on prescribed antidepressants, but have not been able to find a psychologist/psychiatrist yet because it’s fucking Florida.

4) There are a lot of things and people I don’t understand, but I’m always open to learning. Trying new food is a special passion of mine, and I’ve met some quite fascinating new people since starting this blog. (*eoughck* @potentially-a-poser *aucghk* @analogue-system *ahem*)

5) I will not tolerate hateful behavior. You will be immediately blocked for shit like denying any of the shades of aro/ace individuals as being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. If you see me spreading misinformation or saying something that excludes members of the community, please tell me. I’ll research the matter, as well as review any sources you send me.

5.5) okay so I think I’m demiromantic

6) I do not mind being tagged or sent asks or otherwise brought into conversations. People who abuse that will likely get blocked, but whatever your social anxiety is telling you probably comes nowhere near ‘abuse’ in my book. Anonymous asks are enabled, but that can likewise change if the feature is abused. Hate asks will be blocked, naturally.

7) I would prefer being asked before you directly message me. If you don’t, there is a possibility you’ll be blocked, but it’s not a guarantee. I don’t want me and my friends’ conversations getting buried by anything.

8) If you consistently and frequently post tiktok/reddit memes with little to no commentary, I may block you simply out of annoyance should you repeatedly show up on my dash. It’s not personal. If something about you makes me suspicious or uncomfortable, but not outright offended, I’ll most likely notify you of my reason before I block you.

9) Age: pick a number between 1 and 100 because it’s none of your fucking business. None of you are entitled to any of my personal information, regardless of the reason. I will share only what I want.

My Behaviors

There are certain things I gravitate towards or away from on this site. Here’s some:

1) I am most likely to follow people who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, are mentally ill, or are dealing with some variety of personality disorder. This is mostly just due to the fact that I find the most common ground with those people. But even those who I have little common ground with, I’ll tend to find very interesting.

2) I don’t mind things like roleplay and hornyposting on my dash, but will almost certainly not interact myself, or make original posts in that category. More extreme examples won’t necessarily get you blocked or unfollowed, but… well, my filtered tags list may grow.

3) I don’t always tag reblogs. This may mean that my followers will see random things that caught my interest. It could be art, shitposting, tender affirmations, politics, or just goofy-ass Tumblr shit. If something I regularly reblog/post about bothers you and isn’t properly tagged, let me know.

4) I am discovering that maybe, I might, perhaps, be a little bit nosy. When I see someone receiving hate or suffering and stressed, I am likely to take it upon myself to do or say something to try to make them feel better. If I bother you with this, I will not be hurt or offended if you block me. In general, I will do my best to be respectful of it when people draw boundaries, so don’t hesitate to draw any you feel necessary.

5) If your intentions are pure, you will likely find that I try to be forgiving and/or understanding of your mistakes, at least in regards to interacting with me. (The /or is a very important distinction.)

6) I will often be attracted to dark, tragic, or dystopic works of art/fiction. I get a form of catharsis from such media, and some of my writing will reflect that.

That’s about it.

That’s all the important stuff I can think of, aside from tags which are at the end. Still, this post may be updated or rewritten in the future. In general, just be kind and open-minded, and we’ll get along fine. Even if you disagree with me, as long as you are civil and rational about things, I’ll likely have no problem interacting with you.

Be safe, and be yourself! <3

🇵🇸🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

My Tags:

#redley’s playlist - Some of my favorite songs!

#redley’s photos - Photos taken by/of me!

#writing - Writing related things and occasionally stuff I’ve made! (#poetry will also contain some of my work)

#let me just frame this one - My personal favorite posts by others. Put that right up on the wall!

#cw/tw: [content] - I will tag posts that I recognize may be disturbing to others with content warnings and/or trigger warnings. This way, you can filter content that may be harmful to your mental health to view. If a post is missing an important one, let me know.

#intro post #transgender #autism #writers on tumblr #lgbtqia+#demiromantic #queer #free palestine #🚗🔨⚒️💥#not really a part of any fandoms but i love browsing them. it’s very fun #fuck tumblr staff #fuck the us government #maybe if the site survives photomatt swinging his cock around i’ll upload timeline photos one day

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benbamboozled · 1 year

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Okay as someone who only tangentially knows about nightwing, I enjoyed the grayson series. I'm a whole-ass lesbian but watching him walk shirtless through a desert carrying a baby? I suddenly understood the whole "being straight" thing. Grayson cured my heterophobia lololol.

ANYWAYS it seems like you've actually read other nightwing comics so I was wondering what your take on the grayson series is? Is it OOC? If not, do you have any other comic recs where I can 👀 that 🍑?

Lol I actually haven’t read Grayson! Because…lol, okay, THIS IS STUPID I AM FULLY AWARE OF THAT, but because I resent the idea that Dick Grayson needed a series where he’s ALSO a super cool hot spy who’s a badass hot spy. ~~~OOOOH GOOD FOR YOOOOOU!!!!~~~

(Yes this is one of my personal foibles, sometimes I resent things for existing because I am odd and petty.)

I’ve thought about reading it for The Pretty, but I know certain fandom circles are, uh…less than enthusiastic about it, and certain other character fans are less than enthusiastic about it (*cough* Midnighter), so I just haven’t decided that I’m open to potentially being grumpified in favor of The Pretty yet.

Basically, I absolutely cannot speak on how IC or not it is. 🙃 I do know that I’ve read two things by Tim Seeley—one I like that a lot of people don’t (Robins) and one that was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS LIKE TERRIBLE ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL GAG VOMIT UGGGHHHH (Countdown to the Wedding: Red Hood vs Anarky—do not punish yourself with this it is so bad).

Sooooo I have no idea what that says about whether or not I’d appreciate Grayson!

Honestly, though, my Dick Grayson absorption is all over the map, so I’m not so much a great person to give recs I think.

Like, my foundational Dick run (hm) was Devin Grayson’s Nightwing run and, uh, that run is CONTROVERSIAL (to put it mildly), for some reasons that I agree with and some that I don’t. It also left me with a…very particular set of preferences when it comes to Dick Grayson In Comics.

(You know how 1984 starts with “imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever”? Yeeeeeahhhh.)

If you’re in just for the pretty, the current Nightwing run—Leaping Into the Light (kind of a soft-reboot of the premise starting with #78 of the 2016 run)—is REALLY gorgeous. Like…wow. Not so much on a beefcake level necessarily, but like…gorgeous man f-i-n-g-e-r-s-t-r-i-p-e-s acrobatics long legs strong back mmmmmmmm. (I cannot be more coherent than that, just…guh.)

(I do NOT keep up with this book for the plot. The plot is…sigh. Lackluster. And the characterization is…kind of generic. AND IT TOOK NIGHTWING #93—A CONTROVERSIAL YET IMO GROUNDBREAKING ISSUE—AND BASICALLY RE-DID IT IN A WAY I FIND FRANKLY PRETTY OFFENSIVE BOTH TO STORYTELLING IN GENERAL AND THE WAY IT TREATED THE ISSUES ORIGINALLY HANDLED IN THE COMIC. ANYWAY like I said, I’m shallow and into it for the pretty pictures. Also it’s DC, and my evergreen tag “comics are bad and I hate them” is evergreen for a reason.)

I’m certain that other people who follow me have better recs/suggestions, so if anyone who follows me has insight on Grayson or feelings about good Nightwing runs for (*cough*) 🍑-purposes and wants to chime in, feel free! Reblog, reply, whatevs!

(Just, you know…if you have STRONG feelings, try to remember the “don’t yuck someone’s yum” principle. Criticism/analysis+discussion is great, but I try to keep things not suuuuper OTT negative. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about liking things.)

(No yucking anyone’s yum unless it’s Tim Seeley writing Red Hood vs. Anarky. I will never be nice about that comic and nobody can make me.)

Hopefully you’ll get some better info, anon!

#ask answered #in a very roundabout and rambling way that boils down to ‘I don’t have a good answer’ sigh.#Dick Grayson #Nightwing #i have seen some panels of RiC gRaYsOn that have made me Intrigued (tm) ngl.#i am a shallow beast at heart.#hopefully some of these words were useful.#god Bruno Redondo…I resent your eye for aesthetics because otherwise I could just look away.

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gummiix · 2 years

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Intro :] (updated around every month ^^)

Interests:

I am largely fixated on Sonic the Hedgehog, so that’s what you’ll see most on my main blog (this one).

My other interests here include: Splatoon, everything Spider-Man and Spider-Verse, Kirby, My Little Pony (Gen 4), Super Mario, the Legend of Zelda, Pokémon (mostly just team rocket), various other random console games, and Pikmin.

All of these fandoms can be found in my featured tags, as well as other types of tags. (<- these are mainly for my own navigation, so most prolly don’t make a lot of sense on the outside lol.)

I’ve also got separate side blogs for random interests that breached containment, like (in order of oldest to newest):

✩ stimming gifs, sounds/music, stim boards, web resources, etc -> @stimmii

✩ rottmnt -> @iheartrise

✩ nimona (the movie) -> @nimonablogheckyeah

✩ the amazing digital circus -> @iheartdigitalcircuses

✩ helluva boss -> @ihearthelluva

Stuff to note (BYF section):

~I curse. I also reblog some nsfw jokes on my main, but never something actually sexual at heart. (For example, smthin kinda like deez nuts jokes but more detailed. Like uhhh. She scott on my pilgrim till I take off.) I’ve tagged these as “#suggestive text” in the past, but I started tagging them as “#suggestive joke” a while ago.

~Mass likes/reblogs don’t bother me, don’t worry :]

~Uh. I may unintentionally spam-like/reblog other blogs though, if I happen to really enjoy your posts. I don’t mean to bother anyone, randomly I just go through a spiral of stuff I really like and feel the need to catalogue it somehow (or else I might forget lol)

~On my main I reblog things relating to politics/light discourse, usually just some civil rights stuff. I don’t tag these categorically.

~I have adhd and autism, and reblog about struggles sometimes tagged with “#nd things”. Also,

~I use tone indicators for anything that I think might be confusing, but always spelt out. For example, “/sarcastic” or “/light-hearted.”

~I am genderqueer and use they/she/he, in order of preference. (When I say “alternation preferred”, I mean I would greatly appreciate if you alternate between multiple of these pronouns for me rather than just choose one set forever.)

~Unimportant to blog, but I wanna add as a little hiya to the queer community that I am also demi-pansexual. (demi as in demiromantic + demisexual, meaning I am only ever romantically or sexually attracted to anyone after [pre-established] time, trust, and bonding. This is why I like ships a lot lol)

~I blog a lot of sonadow here, so just to organize the duo in my blog I may tag sonic and shadow’s general interactions as the ship as well, even if the post wasn’t necessarily meant to be. Please send an ask / message me if this makes you uncomfortable.

~My memory is faulty, meaning I may reblog the same thing multiple times without meaning to, or forget to respond to a message/ask. (more on that below)

Moot-to-Moot Communication:

~If we’re mutuals, feel free to message me for any random reason!!

~I might take a while to respond, but I promise no matter what I will see your message and be thinking about it. The Dysfunction does do the hit (and also the anxiety and memory . lots of that too)

Drawn demonstration by user cuptoast on twitter dot com:

~Please, please just message me a lil reminder if I don’t get back to you after a day!! I prolly forgor 💀. Just a little “yo” or whatever you want is great, it helps a lot.

~However, I usually start conversations with an ask. (It’s a little silly, but it’s easier for me to keep track of and less intimidating that way.) If you’d prefer, you can just respond to it in messages.

~I…… may or may not be following over 4000 blogs (I very much am.) This means I never really see moots on the dashboard, which means I don’t really interact except for once in a while when I might FLOOD your posts with likes + reblogs ,:]

~In any messages whatsoever, if subtext is used then I would very much appreciate spelt-out tone indicators (or any other form of clarification 👍. I may casually ask for the tone if I’m confused)

~Just let me know if you want me to tag something for filtering out, like spoilers but also literally anything else.

Do not interact section:

In general, I block who I don’t want to interact with; but with the current situations, I want to clarify my stances if it makes anyone more comfortable to know… or uncomfortable, so they can know and do what they will.

~I stand completely with Palestine and Palestinians, against genocide, displacement, the Israeli military or government, and for a ceasefire. I reblog about Palestine news and history frequently. I also believe that Jews, as well as all average civilians everywhere, deserve to live and be happy- all including with places of worship. These are not contradictory statements.

~I am against proshipping, meaning that I am heavily against the fictional fetishization of children, (including minor/adult ships,) rape, or incest.

~I also did not realize that TERFs were so common here!! Unfortunate! I am also obviously against terfs.

WHEW!! THE END!!!! YOU MADE IT THRU!!! Thanks for reading :]. pow bam bang you get hearts <33💞💘💕

#gummii.txt #includes:#interests #sideblogs #before you follow #moot communication #and a DNI #long post #edit: ARGH I can’t get the blinkies to distribute correctly and I have to get my laptop to fix it #there were 6 but I messed with em and now I can only have 2 😔

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decembermoonskz · 2 years

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THE MONSTER BESIDE ME (a TXT halloween writing collab) !!

“... not all monsters look like monsters. There are some that carry their monstrosity inside.” ― Fredrik Backman

𖥨 welcome to “the monster beside me” a halloween and fantasy-themed collab hosted by me, @/decembermoonskz (i wanna say a quick thank you to @petrichor-han for talking and brainstorming this idea with me! love you rain!)

theme !! from spoopy fluff to scary horror, let your mind run wild as you pick a supernatural AU and create a story that gets you in the spirit of the spooky season! >:)

𖥨 masterlist (coming soon)

:: rules & guidelines !! ︶︶꒷꒦︶꒷︶︶︶꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

𝟎𝟏. this collab is open for tomorrow x together and slots are on a first-come first-serve basis! there will be one (1) slot per member, however if the collab shows a lot of interest i’d love to expand it to two (2) slots per member! :)

𝟎𝟐. your work must be a oneshot (no smau or series please) with a minimum word count of 1.5k words, there is no max word count (go crazy haha). worried about not making the minimum? no worries! we’re all here to help

𝟎𝟑. this is a sfw collab so please no smut/explicit sexual content. non-explicit suggestive content is allowed. only 16+ writers are allowed to write suggestive content!!

𝟎𝟒. only “member x reader” and “member x oc” pairings please.

with member x reader pairings, please try to make your reader is as inclusive as possible! avoid specifying features/actions that may not apply to everyone, if you need help with that don’t worry, we can talk about it more in the discord server. gn!reader, fem!reader, masc!reader, are all accepted!!

𝟎𝟓. because this is a collab that has potential horror and scary themes (along with other graphic content: blood violence, g*re, etc.) please label ALL warnings at the start of your piece.

additionally, pairing(s), genre(s), warning(s), summary/synopsis, & word count must be at the start of your work. please place a read more after 500 words.

𝟎𝟔. this goes without saying, but plagiarism is not allowed whatsoever. you must credit any form of media you may use as inspiration for your fic. please put that credit for inspiration at the start of your fic. if it comes to my attention that any writer has plagiarized in the past/is plagiarizing, they will be removed from the event.

if you have any questions on how i want you to credit things, please don’t hesitate to message me (preferably through the discord server).

𝟎𝟕. you must be 15 years of age to apply for this collab!

please do not lie about your age and please if you are 14 but want to apply to this collab, please wait until you are 15 before actually applying.

𝟎𝟖. when you post your fic, please tag me (@/decembermoonskz) somewhere at the start (desc, a/n, etc.) and tag it with #collab:themonsterbesideme

:: how to apply !! ︶︶꒷꒦︶꒷︶︶︶꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

𝟎𝟏. to join the collab, simply DM me from my side blog (@bangchanisms) with the member you’d like to write for, and the supernatural AU you plan to write for.

AUs can only be repeated twice! there are tons of options to choose from so don’t be afraid to get creative. if you don’t know yet, i’d strongly suggest waiting to apply until you have at least a vague idea of what AU you’d like to write for.

𝟎𝟐. please have a discord account (or have the ability to make one) as the discord server will be used for all communications and updates on the event.

𝟎𝟑. once you’ve been accepted, your name will be added to the slots with your member and AU, please reblog the post once you’ve been accepted. you’ll also receive an invite to the discord server via dm. :)

𝟎𝟒. please notify me in the discord server if there are any changes with you, url changes, deactivations, hiatus updates, etc.

𝟎𝟓. this is a halloween collab, so the deadline is october 31st, 2022, and the final drop-out date is september 25th, 2022. your work may be posted at any time in the month of October (Oct 1st-Oct 31st).

if for any reason you must drop-out of the collab, please contact me and let me know (do not ghost), there will be no hard feelings at all, no matter what the reason is (you can’t meet the deadline, you don’t feel motivated to write, life things have come up, etc.). <3

if you cannot meet the deadline but do not wish to drop-out of the collab, please contact me asap and we can work something out. however, if you really don’t think you can take part, please don’t just hold the spot till the end of october, i’d like for everyone to have a chance at participating and let’s make a complete list of stories.

:: available slots !! (5/5) ︶︶꒷꒦︶꒷︶︶︶꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

— SOOBIN ꒷꒦︶꒷ •ﾟ｡ @h0neydewmoon + werewolf!au

— YEONJUN ꒷꒦︶꒷ •ﾟ｡ @petrichor-han + ghost!au

— BEOMGYU ꒷꒦︶꒷ •ﾟ｡ @decembermoonskz + vampire!au

— TAEHYUN ꒷꒦︶꒷ •ﾟ｡ @delacyrose224 + fortune teller!au

— HUENING KAI ꒷꒦︶꒷ •ﾟ｡ @soobisms + siren!au

#tomorrow x together #txt #txt collab call #tomorrow x together collab call #txt fics #txt fanfic #txt x reader #txt x oc #fic collab #fic collab call

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rararazaquato · 2 years

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erm new pinned i guess

read if you want. or if you don’t want. idc.

- my name is barb.

- gender apathetic, that shit is not real to my brain. any pronouns, but they/them/it/its/bun/buns are my preferred ones :3

- young adult, if you are a minor and me being an adult makes you uncomfortable then feel free to unfollow/block, no worries there

- white american, fluent in english, semi-conversational in french, almost done with genki vol. 1 in japanese.

- my current brain worms are in master detective archives: rain code.

- my posting includes pokemon, danganronpa/rain code, funny creatures, western cartoons (srmthfg + phineas and ferb + invader zim are the big ones), the most excellent game psychonauts, and a few other miscellaneous bits and baubles around the blog.

- i don’t have a side blog except for a couple mostly-abandoned gimmick blogs. if you follow me for one specific mediaposting then you’ll be in for a rough surprise when i inevitably fixate on something else.

- ask me to tag anything, i currently just tag the basic stuff (drugs, alcohol, abuse, stuff like that) + a few media but if you need anything specific just lmk.

- not explicitly nsfw but i do make and reblog sex jokes. some of my old posts are tagged 'nsfw text' but i think tumblr might shadowban that tag or something because i got 0 notes on a post with that tag, and then when i removed it, it got like 10. all this to say that i tag sex jokes as "nsft". i might forget to tag it tho so if i forget just send an ask or a dm!

- actually if i forget to tag anything just lmk. my ask box is open for you <3

- presenting as a cis woman irl and i have no plans on opening the can of worms that is gender right now so 🫢 irls dont say a word abt this blog lol

- i can't believe i have to say this but if you think shit like p/do and inc/st is hot then just. don't interact. i dont wanna see it and tbh i think you should probably like. see a therapist about that. yeah that includes anything that’s “only kind of” that type of shit (z/adr, ph/inferb, etc).

- although if we're talking about shipping discourse, i should probably mention for my rain code followers that i headcanon yuma as an adult, specifically around 18-19. my reasoning for this is a) he has a whole job and doesn't go to school and b) the only one of his peers who doesn't treat him like an adult (albeit an incompetent one) is aphex, who clearly only does it to make fun of him.

- if you have any other questions just like. put it in the ask box or whatever. if its a weird question or one i dont want to answer publicly i just wont answer it.

- my advice to you is: go hog wild. be yourself. i love you.

ok goodbye

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watertribe-enya · 1 year

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I posted 2,733 times in 2022

That's 618 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (1%)

2,702 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chinchillasinunison

@blueeyeswhitegarden

@whetstonefires

@magical-awesome-kid

@forevergreenandblue

I tagged 754 of my posts in 2022

#pokemon - 176 posts

#the owl house - 116 posts

#submas - 97 posts

#toh - 76 posts

#legends arceus - 68 posts

#pokemon bw - 57 posts

#dracula - 53 posts

#jjba - 50 posts

#jojo's bizarre adventure - 42 posts

#sandman - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#even if she and like minded people decide to give their money away for charity or sth. that doesn't mean the rest of the super rich will

My Top Posts in 2022:

The Owl House S3 Countdown Day 8 - Family

“Son I’m naming you Philip Clawthorne-Wittebane, in honor of my little brother. Whom I miss everyday... I love you, Philip. I always will.”

How about we let Caleb have his little witch-human family, without knife related interferances from you know who. And lets throw in a Futurama reference for good measure. Maybe Philip can stumble into town later, but he doesn’t get to mess everything up this time. All he gets to do is maybe complain that the baby soiled his stupid pilgrim jacket when Caleb handed him over

@dragonflyable

97 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

“Some day you’ll thank me”

A whole lot of drama could have been avoided if Caleb just dragged Philip with him to the Demon Realm. Of course the little guy would be less than thrilled about living among demons, but it’s preferable to the alternative (and he doesn’t have to live with and become a crazy witch hunter)

156 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

The Owl House S3 Countdown Day 14 - Friendship

Collector: What are you doing?

Philip: I’m drawing...

Colector: Can you draw something for me? Can you draw me?!

Headcanon that the Collector nettled Philip with questions and art requests until he stopped drawing in the little guys presence (or stopped drawing altogether). Those were some long centuries...

@dragonflyable

159 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

The Owl House S3 Countdown Day 9 - Wickedness

“I feel powerful! So powerful that I know I can do it now! I can bring Caleb back to life!”

This is actually based on a scene in one of the old W.i.t.c.h. comics when Cornelia decided to revive her boyfriend Caleb (hah!) and she had this completely deranged look on her face. It just fit to well. I had to replace the flower she was holding with something though...so a piece of Palistromwood it is (which looks kinda dorky)

See the full post

237 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lots of people make fun of Jonathan Harker for not recognizing what's up with Dracula, despite the warning signs...And I feel the need to point out that Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book" had Silas, a character who:

• does not cast a reflection

• only eats one kind of ( unspecified) food

• is very pale, has razor sharp nails, makes people feel insecure/ troubled for no apparent reason

• sleeps through the day and only comes out after sunset

• is neither dead nor alive

• sleeps inside a trunk filled with earth

• crawls down walls head first

• can fly and is compared to a bat when doing so

• has some form of mind control powers

• is bothered/ weakened by sunlight in some form

And people to this day question what kind of being this man could possibly be. I somehow doubt you all would have done any better than Jonathan. Modern readers seem to be just as, if not more more oblivious than him if a story does not explicitly spell out that it's featuring a vampire.

17,185 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #so I made my most popular post ever this year #thanks dracula daily and neil gaiman #also my most popular art...for owl house #for philip/belos of all characters #that wretched wet napkin of a man #but I'am not complaining

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succliberation · 2 years

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Intro posting

Let’s do this again, shall we?

Carrd is here. There’s no DNI or whatever, just read it if you want.

Youtube is here. I make LGBT youtube videos that are quick and to the point. If you want information about LGBT issues that’s common sense and comprehensible to someone outside the community, you’ll love my channel.

Discord tag is SquidGun#1259, if you prefer a medium that isn’t Tumblr.

I use naughty bad language that gets people banned of tumblr now, for some reason. If ya can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I am anti racism sexism homophobia and ableism and all that, but quite frankly, the things I post on the internet can’t hurt anyone in the real actual world. The only thing that matters is actions. If you find yourself getting triggered, turn off your phone.

I don’t fight in replies. Reblog or GTFO. If you @ me in replies without reblogging, I’ll just block you.

This blog gets archived every morning at around 6 AM EST. If you don’t want your L immortalized forever in my vast collection of screenshots, you should ask me to delete before then.

Tagging system below

On this blog, I figure’d I’d archive it in such a way as to actually be searchable. Here’s my current system, and I’ll update this if it changes. I usually don’t tag for slurs or content, but if you have something serious, I’ll attempt to remember to tag for it if asked.

#transmed - general transmed posts with little to no debate

#trans debate - usually has sources, might just be me arguing pointlessly

#proshipping - artists can create any content they want, regardless of how yucky it is or gross it makes you feel

#politics - general catch-all politics posting. Eventually I’ll get around to making more specific categories if needed

#save - posts I’ve tagged to save for later. Important sources or neat information

#le race war - race issues that are intentionally about dividing us

#femininininist - anti feminist posting, and pointing out all the ways feminists are stupid.

#kek - owning the libs, or trolling the conservitards, or whatever.

#2 minutes of hate - anon hate tag. Block it if you don’t want to see it.

#battleaxe bisexual - mspec identities are all bisexuality but adds biphobia onto the pile.

#femininininist #le race war #save #politics #proshipping #trans debate #transmed #kek #2 minutes of hate

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corruptedforce · 2 years

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HOW I RUN MY BLOG

REPOST DON’T REBLOG

SPEED: Look, you all love fall and spooky season, but October is my hell month. My husband got shot 9 years ago this month, my mom spent October and November in the hospital last year before I lost her, and we have literally spent the better part of the last 3 weeks in the hospital, with my husband. October sucks. Add playoff baseball and my brain is a mess! I try to keep a decent handle on my replies on here. But honestly, I’m just a lot faster on Discord. If I lose a handle on drafts for more than two days, they back up and then they sit for a week, because I’m too stressed over them. Then, I pop out 20 at 7am one day. Asks...well....I don’t ignore them. I just take forever. I’m typically a fast replier though, and there are times it’s under 20 minutes. It’s just my personality and I’ll never reply slower than I’m comfortable with, for anyone.

REPLIES: I use RP Thread Tracker and also track through Discord. I queue rarely, although when I start working through my ask, I’ll probably queue some things. I wish I could say I do people’s in order, but I don’t. Everyone has their people, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have mine. I honestly am so much faster on Discord. I also tend to reply on Anakin and the multi at the same time. I don’t only work on one character at once.

STARTERS: Memes are easier sometimes, unless it’s something plotted. I throw out starter calls and half the time, I get distracted. I actually did the last one. I love writing starters though, so always hit me up if you want to do something. I literally will do 50 things with one person at at time. ALSO, if I don’t reply to your starter, please send it to me. My tag is mostly broken.

INBOX: I love sending and receiving memes. If they sit a while, it’s not lack of interest. I’m just really bad sometimes, about sitting down and answering them. I have 80+ in there right there.

SELECTIVITY: I’m not overly picky, yet. I’ll likely get more picky as time goes. The last couple weeks, I’ve had some stuff go down that has upset me and made me feel awful, so it’s starting a bit more, but if I can see us interacting, you have rules/info/etc. I’ll follow back. I don’t follow personals back, but I don’t mind if you follow. Just please don’t reblog my threads. I do have some mains and you’ll notice their replies go insanely fast.

WISHLIST: I don’t really have an wishlist, because I prefer plotting and finding plots that would be of interest for me and my partner.

HONEST NOTE: Don’t be intimidated by my rules, filter out anything you don’t want to see. I adminned groups a long time. I play strong-willed males a lot, so I come off a little intimidating in them. But, I’m nice. i just have strong boundaries, which my friend taught me are healthy. Also, please don’t take things in rp personally or decide things for stupid reasons. If you have a question, just ask. I’m friendly..except during baseball.

Steal it!

#(ooc)#it's my favorite gif okay?

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closestshave · 2 years

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RULES.

INTERACTING. this will be a plot-heavy blog. i would much prefer to plot dynamics out before hopping into things with this particular set of muses. my interest tracker is mandatory to fill out! i don't know how much i'll reblog memes on here. i'll likely interact more often through (prompted and unpromoted) starters. if you do send a meme in, please make sure to specify a muse when you send in a meme. i will either contact you to see which muse you are interested in or i will not answer the meme at all. please, please, please reblog from the source! this goes for anything. memes, aesthetics, musings, etc. i want to keep my notifications clean on here. i am very open to duplicates, but exclusive to my johanna. i also set canon a year later than actual canon. sweeney arrive in london in 1847 and the final sequence happens in early 1848. this is to align with my canon for johanna. if you are no longer interested in being mutuals, please soft or hard block me. likes and follows will come from @pimpernals!!!

SELECTIVTY. i am a friends-only blog. what does this mean for me? this means we are already mutuals on my johanna blog. this is due to the dark nature of canon and the fact that i write male muses on here. i trust my friends will not only write with my male muses and my canons and will write with my ocs and female characters. my male muses are all request-only and usually require a lot of plotting before we jump into things. we operate at low activity and the nature of canon. non-roleplay blogs are not welcome here and will be hard blocked on sight. this is a mutuals only blog. if we are not mutuals, please do not interact with my ic or my ooc posts. i will not interact with muses from steven universe, the book of mormon musical, southpark, or anime.

FORMATTING. i do not expect you to match my formatting. i don't go too heavy on it aside from using small text and italics and bold. let me know and i will adjust as necessary. i use a variety of psds for different reasons, but the one you can find most commonly on here is til i forget about you by b1gtimerush. all icons, edits, etc. are made by me. do not use them without my permission!

TRIGGERS. triggering content will be tagged as “[trigger] tw." i tag common triggers and the ones you'll find on this blog (list below), but if you have something specific you need to be tagged, please im me about it or make note of it in my interest checker. keep in mind that canon is incredibly heavy and i will not be shying away from this. i will not be portraying the actual act of cannibalism. triggers present will include: rape, murder, cannibalism, death, revenge, broken families, child abuse, poverty, suicide and neglect. please tag political discourse, current events, and nsfw content for me.

NSFW/SHIPPING. as much as i love shipping, i do not expect this to be a very ship-heavy blog. i prefer canon relationships. thus, most muses are not open for shipping. i refuse to write sweeney/benjamin in a romantic relationship with lovett. i am of the opinion that he isn't open to any sort of romantic or sexual relationship if it isn't with lucy. lovett will be portrayed as obsessive/possessive towards benjamin/sweeney. i am uncomfortable with actually writing them in a romantic or sexual relationship. i find their dynamic fascinating and would love to explore them in other ways. as stated before, i would prefer to write canon relationships. this include benjamin and lucy, lovett and mr. lovett, etc. i'm a huge fan of all sorts of dynamics! enemies, friendship, etc. nsfw content may be discussed lightly on the dash, but tagged as "suggestive tw" and may appear in ooc conversation, but i will be keeping it very tame for the sake of my own boundaries. i will not write smut.

FINAL. i'm darcy (she/her; 18+). please don’t feel intimidated by me at all! i’m a bit shy so i completely understand why you might feel intimidated by approaching me, but i’m probably the least intimidating person you’ll meet and i’m very flexible!

#rules.#dni.

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archersgaymerblog · 3 years

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Reblog this with your favorite FNV character and why. For reasons.

#not sinister I promise shdbshsb #you can do it in the tags but if actually prefer reblogs. for reasons. you’ll see lmao #fallout new vegas #fnv #my dumb textposts

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shotorozu · 3 years

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬’ 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝟰𝟬𝟬 & 𝟱𝟬𝟬 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹

character(s) : haikyuu!! - multiple characters

legend : [Y/N = your name] f!reader with they/them pronouns. fluff to the mildest of spice, not nsfw. timeskip

note(s) : so like.. the bnha one did very well, so i wanted to do a haikyuu version of it. im obviously not doing all the boys sadly. (will probably do 3-5 boys per team idk), but i’ll just do as many as i can until my idea train dies. i would add more tags but 30 is the limit so.. sorry. very long overdue because this was in my drafts for the longest time

read more will be added later along with the link to part one.

»»————-　♡　————-««

hinata shoyo

↮ a legs lover. there’s something about them he’s really enamored by. a bonus if you’re shorter than him, and an even bigger bonus if you’re taller than him (if you’re much taller than him since he’s 5′7 in the timeskip, I think) then he’ll pass tf out) he LOVES it when you wear stockings or fishnets, and he loves the way the material contours the shape of your legs. he’ll stare at them a lot, and he will be embarrassed if you catch him, and even more so when the team catches him. please reassure him that it’s fine.

kageyama tobio

↮ loves your chest, regardless of size (but if you must insist, he leans towards bigger sets) is it a thing connecting to milk? he doesn’t really know to be honest. kageyama really loves taking naps on your chest, because he falls asleep pretty fast when he takes naps on your chest. he won’t touch them because he’s a lil hesitant, but he’ll just.. rest his hand on there, and admire the softness. (will suckle on them if you’ll let him. is it a milk thing? again, we don’t know)

kōshi sugawara

↮ your lower back is his favorite. it’s not so common as “breasts” or “ass” but, he has good reasoning behind his favorite! in general, he loves his face, but he loves just laying his hand on your lower back. there’s just something about looking at you from behind that makes his heart pound 10x faster. oh and, he really loves putting kisses on there, because every time your back will be towards him in your shared room, he’ll catch a glimpse of those little bite marks. he’s smug, and he’s very proud of them, especially because you can only see them.

tsukishima kei

↮ he’s stuck between hands, tiddies and neck, but for the sake of this post- we’ll settle for hands. they’re so much smaller than his?? like.. he wonders how that’s possible, and he’ll probably tease you about it. (uh.. how can someone’s hands be that long? tf tsuki) it’s canon that he fiddles with his fingers when nervous, so when he’s with you- he’ll fiddle with your fingers instead. he also finds himself playing with your fingers, memorizing all of the details of your fingers. if you offer to put on bandages on his fingers whenever he gets hurt or something similar, he’ll get very bashful. but please do that!! he loves that a lot. with tiddies, his preference is definitely on the smaller side ngl

kozume kenma

↮ collarbones to him are ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ “mwah.” so elegant, so beautiful. how did this happen? well- he was doing work one day (like the rich man he is) and you sit on his lap per usual- but !! your collarbones were all up in his face. he’ll get very red, and lose focus, so give him a heads up. wear shirts that show off your collarbones, and he’ll stare hard. so yeah. he loves resting his face on them, and he’ll occasionally give you kisses, ranging from cute lil ones, to the wet open mouth kisses.

yaku morisuke

↮ yaku likes short hair, i repeat- he likes short hair. therefore!! his favorite part would be your upperback/neck. it really depends if you’re taller than him or shorter than him. tbh idk how tall that man is in the timeskip (but he sexy af) but he always loves resting his hand on your upperback, regardless if you have long hair or short hair. if you’re shorter than him, he’ll pull you in for a hug with a hand on your upperback, and if you’re taller— he’ll rest his head on your shoulder, hand loosely hung around your back.

lev haiba

↮ this man screams legs man. like.. i also don’t really have much evidence to back this up, but this man has this weird attraction to your legs. he’ll probably make you walks in front of him so he can take a good stare at your legs. doesn’t matter if they’re long, skinny legs— or short ones! he just adores legs. lev is really tall so.. please put your legs on him, he’ll be in heaven. his preference definitely leans on long legs though.. he just really likes them :)

oikawa tōru

↮ uh ok.. i had a difficult time with deciding with this one tbh, but this man loves your waist. at first, i thought he was a tiddies man, which.. i feel like he is? but not that much of a tiddies man compared to being a waist man. his favorite way to greet you is to hug you from behind, hands resting on your waist as he inhales your scent. he’ll probably bite the soft skin on your waist as a way to tease you, that is.. if you allow him lol

iwaizumi hajime

↮ man is a collarbone man, change my mind. again, i partially feel like he also loves thighs and ass but look!! collarbones. he loves seeing them when you wear baggy clothes, unintentionally showing off your collarbones to him. his mind goes haywire at the sight. loves putting kisses on your collarbones, occasionally putting hickies there— but he also doesn’t wanna inflict pain on your collarbones so.. hickies are not a common thing. but don’t worry! he has a lot of ways to show you his love for collarbones.

akaashi keiji

↮ definitely a collarbone/hands type of guy. he has a strong affixiation towards them, it came to the point that even bokuto noticed that he had some sort of attachment to them. he just loves admiring collarbones, especially if they’re adorn with shiny necklaces, or just anything that’ll make them look amazing. as for hands, he loves playing with the tip of your fingers— tracing from your wrists, to the back of your hands, to your fingertips.

bokuto koutarou

↮ thighs :)) his preference is “the bigger, the better” and it’s literally canon too. he doesn’t mind smaller thighs, but he’s such a sucker of huge thighs. i guess it’s because he has thick thighs himself so that’s why bigger girls gravitate towards him. there’s always a hand on your thigh if you sit on his lap, and before games, he finds himself patting your thighs for good luck (he’ll never smack them because man’s highkey gonna leave marks on you)

ushijima wakatoshi

↮ thighs. thighs. thighs. man absolutely loves them, more so if they’re a little bit on the thicker side, but obviously— if this man loves you, he’ll love all of you. head really empty, and it’s just him gripping on your thighs while he drives the car, practically having a vice grip on your poor thighs— but it’s okay, because he’ll rub the irritated spot with a gentle touch, his baritone voice apologizing to you. not really big on words, but.. he’ll stare at your thighs a lot.

tendou satori

↮ has a thing for your hips. hm tbh, i was stuck between him having a thing for your neck and thighs— but he absolutely loves hips, just as any other intellectual. he loves squishing the plump flesh between his skinny fingers, and he also loves tapping on them while you stand infront of him doing.. with small hips, he still likes holding on then. okay but,, he also really loves hip dips. even he can’t explain it, he’ll just repeat him— telling you he loves hip dips. he really loves the silhoutte of them. so yeah, if you’re insecure, he’ll punt your insecurities until they rot :)

semi eita

↮ he admires your hands, it’s just that.. they feel so much softer than his, and the size difference between your hand and his hand makes his mind go haywire, his heart pounding against his chest. his hands are still in top shape, but over the years— they definitely roughened a bit due to practicing guitar and other instruments for his band, so his heart will definitely swoon if you put lotion on them. he’s also the type that would kiss the back of your hand before gigs for good luck, only to kiss them after his shows, saying he did well because of you :)

rintarou suna

↮ a thighs man for sure. the bigger thighs the better, it’s just his preference. not saying he hates small thighs though— thighs will be thighs. however!! his preference just loves squishy thighs. if you were to squeeze them around his head— he’d surely die a happy man. doesn’t care where y’all are and who you guys are with, he’s 100% going to put his hand on your thigh. if you decide to wear clothes revealing your thighs, or just.. tight fitted jeans or leggings, expect him to squeeze the soft flesh that’s there. he’ll definitely make a remark about how your thighs expand like crazy when you sit down, but he doesn’t mean it in a insulting way. he actually really loves it.

kita shinsuke

↮ he loves everything about you, so it really takes him a while to actually settle on something. one day— he’ll be touching your thighs, another day he’ll be holding your waist, then another day, he has his hand gliding over your collarbones. eventually, he settles on favoriting your hands, because he can hold them regardless of the setting. he can kiss them, hold them, and intertwin his fingers all he likes.

the miya twins

↮ OSAMU LOVES TIDDIES, AND ATSUMU LOVES ASS :) i don’t make the rules.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading! (can y’all tell i got a little exhausted with writing the miya twins lol)

i do not own haikyuu!!/hq!! and it’s characters. haikyuu belongs to haruichi furudate, i only own the writing.

do not plagiarize my work :))

edit : just realized y’all like haikyuu so.. please submit haikyuu headcanon ideas

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thetravelerwrites · 3 years

Text

Bashir (Troll) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Female Human/Male Troll (World of Warcraft Design) Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Troll, Fake Dating, Hired Boyfriend, Fake Boyfriend Content Warnings: Stalker Ex-Boyfriend, Stalking, Mention of Guns, Brief Violence Series: OkCryptid Words: 6365

A commission for @floral-and-fine! A woman getting out of a bad relationship has moved across her home state to get away from her controlling ex-boyfriend, only for him to show up at her job. Scared, she goes on OkCryptid to recruit a "boyfriend" in hopes of frightening him off. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

>Hi. I know we don’t know each other and this is pretty sudden, but I have a proposition for you, and it isn’t what you think.

Vague, yes, but it would catch his attention quickly enough, you thought. You were desperate and didn’t know what else to do.

>Oh, He messaged not long after. >What would that be?

>I want to pay you to go out with me for a while.

>I’m not a prostitute. Lol

>That’s not what I mean, You replied, rolling your eyes. >I know this sounds weird, and if I had more money I’d probably just hire a bodyguard, but I don’t.

>Why would you need a bodyguard?

You sighed. >I have a stalker ex-boyfriend. I dated him for about five months, but he was really possessive and crazy so I broke it off, and now he won’t leave me alone. I moved here last month from across the state and he followed me. He showed up at my work today.

>Ah, I see. So you want me to rip his arms off?

>No, I just want him to see me with someone who is big enough to rip his arms off. Maybe it’ll scare him away. You’re the biggest guy I could find on here. Well, I did find a cyclops that was pretty big, but she wasn’t interested.

>Have you gone to the police about this?

>Yeah, but they said unless I get proof he has intent to do harm, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even get a restraining order unless he hurts me or causes property damage. It’s like he has to beat me up before they’ll do anything, and I’d rather not let it get that far.

>Gotcha. Why don’t we don’t meet for coffee tomorrow and talk it over?

>That sounds great. I’m free at lunch.

>Me too. I’ll meet you at Leo’s Diner, you know that one?

>No, but I can Google it. See you tomorrow at 11.

Bashir arrived right on time at eleven the next morning. He was a large troll, dark blue in color, with large, off-white tusks jutting out from the sides of his mouth and his long red hair braided in several placed and pulled back at the nape of his neck. He was muscular, thick in the waist, and around nine feet tall. He wore a suit, which was finely tailored to his body. You raised your eyebrows: his profile was sparse, so you didn’t know what kind of job he did; you’d only chosen him because of his picture. But dressed like that, you were surprised he even agreed to take this “job.”

“Hi, you’re the one I’m supposed to meet today, right?” He said, extending his hand.

“Yes,” You replied, standing and shaking his hand. Your hand was dwarfed in his. “Thanks for agreeing.”

“It’s no trouble,” He said, gesturing for you to sit back down as he took a seat opposite you. “So tell me about this boyfriend of yours.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” You said. “His name is Jake. I met him at work; we worked in the same department. He seemed nice, so when he asked me out, I didn’t think anything of saying yes. The first two months was fine, and were got along really well. As soon as we decided to be exclusive, he got really clingy really quickly. Every time I’d try to pull away, he’d clutch at me tighter. He started pressuring me to put distance between me and my friends, he wanted to know where I was all the time, he was constantly texting and calling and got mad when I didn’t respond right away. I got sick of it and broke up with him.”

“When did the stalking start?”

“Almost immediately. It didn’t help that we still worked in the same department, so I had to see him every day. He’d show up at my house after work and on the weekend. He’d either be super angry and demand that I let him in, or he’d be there with flowers and candy and cry and tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, that he was sorry and he’d do better. He kicked my door in a couple of times and I had to call the police. I finally managed to get a restraining order against him, but it didn’t really help. He couldn’t come within five hundred feet, so he would stand on the curb exactly five hundred feet from my house and just watch the house. I was scared for my life. So I quit my job and moved across the state with just my savings. I found a job and I started last week. And yesterday, they said I had a new client, and it was him.”

“What did you do?”

“I freaked out and called security, telling them I had a restraining order against him. He mistakenly thinks the restraining order is void because I moved, but I called and that’s not the case at all.” You sighed in aggravation. “I really hope this asshole doesn’t get me fired.”

“Hmm,” He said. “So what’s your offer?”

“Hmm?” You asked.

“You said you’d pay. What’s your offer?”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “Uh, fifty bucks per date, plus the date expenses. I can’t really afford more than that.”

“That sounds fair. Okay,” He said. “I’ll do it. You just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“Really?” You replied. “You’ll take the job?”

“Sure,” He said. “I’ve got some free time, and the extra money will be nice. I could buy a new suit in a month.” He grinned and plucked at his own, no doubt worth several months of dates.

“That’s great, thank you,” You said, sighing in relief. “So, Friday night? Around six o’clock? Would that work?”

“Absolutely,” He said, pulling out his phone. “Give me your phone number. I’ll add it to my contacts. That way, if you see him, you can call or text and I can head over and do the arm ripping thing.”

You laughed and took out your phone.

After exchanging information, the two of you had lunch and discussed the finer points of the job. PDAs were acceptable, but you’d prefer if he didn’t kiss you. He had a nine-to-five job, just like you, but his position was flexible and let him leave the office for errands, as long as he didn’t abuse the privilege. You left the lunch feeling a little safer.

Friday night, you met him at a nice Greek restaurant, and he wore another nice bespoke suit. He offered to pick you up at your home, but you didn’t really want him to know where you lived. You were still pretty paranoid about Jake finding out.

“I’m surprised you chose this place, considering you’re footing the bill and everything,” Bashir said, looking around. “It’s pretty fancy.”

“It has to look believable,” You reasoned. “And I do like Greek food. If you like, you can pick the place next time.”

He chuckled. “Have you ever had Mediterranean troll food?”

“No, I haven’t,” You said, interested. “What’s it like?”

“It’s very similar, except there’s no bread of any kind.”

“So what do you eat the hummus on?”

“You drink it like sauce.”

“You’re not supposed to drink sauce!” You protested.

He snickered.

“I feel like you’re making this up.”

“Maybe, but you’ve never met any Mediterranean trolls, so you don’t know.”

“Are you a Mediterranean troll?”

“I am, actually,” He said. “My parents came over from Morocco when I was a tot. I don’t remember much about Morocco, but I’ve always dreamed of going on a trip there, I’ve just never had the chance.” He gave a cursory look over the menu. “Maybe that’s what I’ll use this money for.”

“Sounds nice to me,” You said. “If we both get something good out of this, then that’s a plus.”

“What do you get out of this, other than getting rid of a bothersome ex?”

“Security and peace of mind,” You said, picking up your own menu. “That’s worth the price.”

He looked at you seriously. “This guy really shook you up, didn’t he?”

You set the menu back down and sighed. “He’s never hit me or threatened me verbally. The most he’s ever done is break my door, but…” You looked out of the window. “I feel like… it wouldn’t be hard, you know? It wouldn’t be that much of a leap from breaking my door in to doing something worse. If he gets mad enough, if he gets obsessed enough, who knows what he could do. All I know is that I don’t want to find out.”

“I understand,” He said. “I’ve never had to deal with something like that, because… well, look at me…” He gestured at his massive body. “But I do know people who have, and it sounds terrifying. I’m glad I can help, even if I am getting paid to do it.”

You smiled. “Well, it helps that you’re good company.”

“You don’t have to flirt with me, you know,” He teased. “That’s not part of the deal.”

“I will throat-punch you,” You said with a grin, and he laughed.

The next date was the following Saturday, and he chose to go to a concert. He wore a black v-neck shirt and a pair of black slacks, which was as dressed down as you’d seen him, but still very business-casual. It was a showcase of up-and-coming local bands, and they were all pretty good. You didn’t know that he liked Djent and progressive metal, too, but you were happy to have a common interest.

In truth, Bashir was pleasant to be around, and you were relieved that this entire thing wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. It definitely helped make this “dating” business look real from an outsider perspective. He held up his end of the bargain really well over the next dozen dates, holding your hand and putting an arm around you as if it was perfectly normal to do so. Thankfully, it didn’t make you feel uncomfortable when he did it, as he was very warm and the height difference meant he couldn’t be too cuddly naturally. You hoped that if Jake was watching, he believed you’d moved on and had no thoughts for him.

Unfortunately, if he was watching, he didn’t take the hint.

One night, as you were turning off lights and getting ready for bed, you looked out of your bedroom window and there he was, standing on the curb across the street, Jake stood in the shadow of a tree, vaping, and looking toward your house.

Panicked, you didn’t your best to stay calm while you were at the window, not wanting him to know you had seen him, but as soon as you walked away, you turned off the bedroom lights, snatched up your phone, dashed downstairs, and frantically checked the windows and doors, making sure they were all locked.

You meant to call the police, but instead, you dialed Bashir’s number. He answered immediately.

“What’s up?” He asked, sounding caught off guard. You weren’t surprised, you never called or texted him unless it was about the next “date.”

“Jake’s outside,” You whispered. “He’s across the street, I’m looking at him right now from my living room window.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“I’d recognize that stupid snakeskin vape box anywhere,” You said.

“Okay,” He said. “I’m heading over. Stay on the phone with me until I get there. Do you have a landline?”

“Yeah,” You replied.

“Get it and call the police. Don’t tell them he’s stalking you because, well frankly, they won’t care. Say you’re a concerned member of the neighborhood and there’s a suspicious man hanging around outside and you’re worried about a break in.”

It wouldn’t have been a lie. “Okay,” You said, picking up your cordless phone.

After calling the police, you waited with your heart in your throat, listening to Bashir get into his car and drive. He��d heard you tell the operator your address. He arrived before the police did, his vehicle a nondescript SUV, and he got out wearing sweat pants and a tank top and pulled a duffel bag from his passenger seat. He didn’t acknowledge Jake at all, simply walked up to your door and knocked. You went to open the door for him.

“Hug me and kiss my cheek,” He said in a low undertone. Gulping, you did as he said with him turning so that your display of affection was clearly visible to anyone watching from the street. You let him in and closed the door behind him, locking it.

“What now?”

“Let’s turn on the lights and make some coffee while we wait for the police,” He said.

“Okay,” You said, your voice shaking. You went to go into the kitchen but he stopped you by taking your hand.

“Hey,” He said gently. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here, and the police are coming. You’re safe.”

Tears came to your eyes and you nodded, wiping them. He released you and you went to the kitchen, putting a pot of coffee on.

The police arrived. You and Bashir watched covertly from the breakfast nook. Eventually, Jake walked to a car and got in it, driving away. The police followed him.

“They let him go?” You asked, worried.

“Well, they may not have know he has a restraining order, and even if they did, he looked plenty far away enough to not have violated it. He wasn’t breaking any laws other than loitering, so they couldn’t arrest him. At least they made sure he left.”

You held your head in your hands. “God, I don’t want to have to do all this over again.”

“It’s okay,” He said. “I’ll stay the night to make sure he doesn’t come back tonight.”

“What about tomorrow? Or the next day? You can’t be here all the time,” You said, your voice shaking.

He sighed heavily. “Do you know how to use a gun?”

You scoffed in disgust. “I don’t want a fucking gun.”

“Okay,” He said. “Then, I’ll put up a security system. I brought one with me; it’s in my bag. I’ll set it up tonight while he’s not here.”

“It’s late,” You said weakly.

“Do you want to sleep or do you want peace of mind?” He asked you levelly.

You scrubbed your face, took a deep breath, drained your coffee cup, and stood up. “Okay. Let’s do it, then.”

It took a few hours, but he managed to get several security cameras fixed to the building, focused on entryways and the front and back yards. You helped him by holding the equipment and tools for him as he worked, handing up what he needed as he needed it. By the time the two of you were done, it was three a.m. and you both had to be at work in mere hours.

The two of you fell into an exhausted sleep on your bed. You didn’t even have the energy to be affronted by the fact that you were sharing a bed with him. The next morning, before he left to go home and get ready for work, he downloaded the security camera app onto your phone and showed you how to use it.

You went to work, checking your phone surreptitiously to see if Jake was outside of your house. So far, he hadn’t reappeared.

>Today’s Friday, You texted him. >I know you’re probably tired after last night, but do you want to have a date today?

>What about a home date at my house? He replied. >I’ll cook dinner and everything. I don’t want you to be at your house at the moment.

>I can’t argue with that, You said in return. >Sounds good to me. What are you cooking?

>I was thinking a kefta meatball tagine with couscous on the side, and a snake pastry for dessert.

>That sounds amazing. Thanks for putting me up. I know this all is a huge inconvenience, and I really appreciate it.

>It’s no problem,” He said. >It’s what I’m getting paid for, right?

You sighed. Well, this wasn’t exactly what he was getting paid for. How much would an overnight stay cost you?

He sent you a message with his address and you went home after work to shower and pack a small overnight bag. You snickered, pulling out your pretty underwear and a sexy negligee, wondering if you should pack this, too, before putting it away and just throwing some pajamas in your bag.

Checking the cameras before stepping outside, you left the house and hurried to your car, heading to Bashir’s house. His place was a two-story, bungalow style house with a dark brown cliffstone brick pattern and a detached garage. It was charming, and a lot cuter than your tiny yellow ranch-style house. The yard was well kept and three were full flowerbeds next to the wide porch. You wouldn’t have imagined he lived in a place like this.

You knocked on the door and he answered it quickly, wearing a comfortable t-shirt and pair of tight jeans. You tried not to stare, but it was difficult. His clothes left very little to the imagination. His hair was also down and cascaded down his back and shoulders.

“Come in, come in,” He said, taking your bag for you.

“Thanks,” You said. “Your house is really pretty.”

“Oh, thanks!” He said. “It was actually condemned when I bought it. I basically had to rebuild it from the ground up. I’m not quite finished with it yet, but I’m happy with the progress.”

“You should be, it’s amazing,” You said. “I’d never have guessed it was a fixer-upper.”

He grinned at you, showing off his sharp teeth. “Come on, dinner will be ready soon.”

“It smells great,” You said, inhaling the savory smell of lamb and vegetables.

“All my mom’s recipes,” He replied, heading into the kitchen. “She owns a restaurant three towns over.”

“I’ll have to go and visit it sometime,” You said.

“Maybe I’ll take you myself one day,” He said, smiling as he stirred the couscous. Your heart fluttered a little.

How long were you going to have to keep this up? “Dating” Bashir was fun, but it wasn’t going to last forever. Either Jake would give up or get arrested, so either way, it would be over. Maybe you could stay friends. He was nice enough, and you enjoyed hanging out with him. But still… why was he talking about things that might happen in the future if there was no future for the two of you?

Dinner was delicious, and so was dessert, and afterward the two of you went to the living room to watch a movie. He even put his arm around you, since the window was uncovered and anyone could look in, he said, and you felt comfortable enough to relax into his side. It almost did feel like a real home date.

After the movie, though, you both decided to sleep, since you were still tired from the night before. You decided that you were both adults and could share a bed without it being awkward, and besides, his bed was huge and could fit five of you easily. You both fell asleep almost immediately.

Sometime during the night, you got a ping from the motion detector on your phone, but when you checked the security system, it was just a raccoon in your trashcan. You sighed and put your phone down, rolling over.

Bashir was on his back, asleep, with his face turned toward you. He was breathing deeply and relaxed with one hand on his chest and the other on his stomach.

You couldn’t help but stare. He really was an attractive guy, and if circumstances had been different, you might have dated him for real. But… until Jake left you alone, you didn’t want to drag anyone else into it. Bashir didn’t have any emotional connection to you, so Jake couldn’t affect whatever “relationship” you had.

But maybe things could be different after? You weren’t sure. He hadn’t expressed any interest in you other than what he had to to make the job believable. He hadn’t been flirty or more affectionate than he needed to be. You couldn’t afford to develop feelings for Bashir, not right now.

Even still, you brushed your fingers gently against the skin of his arm, feeling the hairs that covered it, and followed the curve up to his hand, allowing yours to rest on top of his for a moment or two before retracting it and trying to fall asleep again, sighing heavily.

The next morning, Bashir recommended that the two of you spend the day together, to keep up the weekend stay appearance.

“How much is this ‘weekend getaway’ going to cost me?” You asked dubiously.

He laughed. “Don’t worry, today’s a freebie, since I suggested it. You still have to pay for last night, though. The normal fifty bucks is fine.”

“Mm-hmm,” You hummed flatly, fishing the money out of your wallet and handing it to him. “Well, what do you want to do?”

“Ah, it’s a freebie day, right? You get to choose this time.”

You smiled. “Well, let’s start with breakfast. I’ll cook it. I can cook breakfast blindfolded.”

“If you like,” He said, sitting at the bar in the kitchen and watching you putter around, looking for cooking tools.

After breakfast, you decided you wanted to go to the local botanical garden, which you hadn’t been to in some time.

“Your flowerbeds outside reminded me of this place,” You told him, walking slowly through the rows of Japanese maples. There was a beautiful and an extremely rare Chinese Red Maple behind a gate at the end of the row, the centerpiece of the garden. “Did you plant them yourself?”

“Yep,” He said with a smile. “I helped my dad do a lot of gardening when he was still alive. He had a landscaping business, but he was really passionate about it. I actually inherited the business. Gardening helps me keep his memory alive.”

“That’s really sweet,” You said, smiling softly. “Is that what you do for a living, the landscaping job? I’ve never actually asked what you do for work.”

“No, actually. I mean, I own the company, but I don’t work for it. My actual job is something else entirely.”

“What is it?”

He laughed. “Honestly, I don’t think you’d believe me.” Before you could ask, he took you by the hand and said, “Let’s take a break and get a coffee. I have to use the bathroom.”

“Okay,” You said, letting the subject drop. For now.

You got to the food court outside of the botanical gardens and sat down at the outdoor cafe.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” He said, putting some money down on the table. “Can you order me a large black coffee?”

“Yeah, sure,” You said. He smiled and headed off. You got up and put in your order, then sat back down at the table and opened the security app, looking through the cameras and checked to see if anything was out of place.

The chair opposite to you was pulled out and he sat back down while you were still looking at your phone.

“The coffee should be out soon,” You said.

“I didn’t order coffee,” A voice said. It wasn’t Bashir.

You jerked your head up and saw Jake sitting across from you. You stood up so fast that you knocked the chair over.

“Get away from me, Jake,” You said.

“Look, just talk to me,” He said, standing up and advancing on you. “Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“Get away from me!” You shouted. “Bashir!”

“Are you calling for that monster?” He sneered. “You could do so much better than him. Besides, you’re not even really dating him, you’re just paying him to keep you company, you slut. You think I wouldn’t figure that out?”

“Fuck you!” You back up. “Bashir!”

Jake was snatched back and slammed down onto the cafe table. Bashir had him pinned down with a single hand. It wasn’t hard to do: Bashir was almost twice the size of Jake in height and weight.

“Let me go!” Jake said, struggling against Bashir’s iron grip. “I’ll have you arrested! My brother’s a cop!”

“Ah, that explains how you got her address so quick,” Bashir said. “I don’t really care if your brother’s a cop. Actually, I think I do, I think an internal affairs investigation is warranted. Regardless, you’ve just violated a restraining order.”

“What does it matter to you?”

Bashir snorted. “I’m FBI, dickless.”

You gaped at him.

“Bullshit!” Jake said. “I’ll fucking sue you! I’ll ruin your fucking life!”

“Whatever you want, you’re still under arrest,” Bashir said, pulling out a set of handcuffs from an inside pocket of his jacket.

“You’re kidding,” You said slowly, staring at Bashir.

“I told you you probably wouldn’t believe me,” He said, grinning at you sheepishly. He jerked his head at his jacket. “My ID is in my pocket.”

You reached in and fished it out, opening the leather fold to reveal a… rather official looking ID and badge.

You laughed in disbelief. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have.”

The police arrived to detain Jake and took him to the station. Bashir drove you to the station, as well, so that you could make a statement.

Later, Bashir drove you back to your house.

“I’ll bring your bag over later,” He said. “He’ll probably get ninety days in jail for violating the restraining order, and hopefully you won’t have to deal with him anymore. Although, if you hear from him again once he gets out, let me know, and I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” You said. “Really, thank you for everything.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Here,” He said, handing it to you. Inside was all the money you had given him for the dates, plus some. There had to have been almost two thousand dollars in there.

“But this is…”

He laughed. “I’m a federal official, you know. I can’t take bribes. I’d get fired.”

“This wasn’t…” You started, but stopped yourself. This could absolutely be seen as a bribe. “What do I do with all this?”

He shrugged. “Whatever you like. Go on a trip. Buy something nice. It’s your money, after all.”

You sighed a little sadly. “I guess this is it, then.”

He sighed, too. “Yeah, I guess so.” He leaned forward, bent down, and kissed you on the cheek. “Take care of yourself.”

Jake did end up getting three months in jail, which made you feel a lot better. You were worried that he would come after you, but the three months passed and when he was released, he moved clear across the country and you never heard from him again.

Finally free of him, you thought you might try actually dating again, but you could only think of Bashir. You and he had only spoken a few times, mostly him checking on you, but you hadn’t seen each other since Jake’s arrest. You missed him, but you couldn’t tell him that. He didn’t have any feelings for you, anyway. If he did, wouldn’t he have asked you out after Jake was out of the picture?

Even still, you wanted to see him again. So once Jake was gone, you texted Bashir.

>I have something for you, You told him.

>Oh? What’s that?

>I want to give it to you in person. Would it be okay to come over this weekend?

>I’m free now. Why don’t you stop by?

>Okay. I’ll be there soon.

Before leaving, you hesitated and decided to throw on your best, sexiest underwear. Just in case.

You arrived at his house to find him out in the front yard. He was digging a hole in the yard with a sapling sitting in a bucket, ready for planting. There were also stones and gravel he was going to use for a decorative barrier. He stood up and waved as you drove up into the driveway.

“Hey!” He said, pulling you into a hug. Well, as well as he could, being so tall. “It’s good to see you!”

“You too!” You said. “What kind of tree is that?”

“A Chinese Maple,” He said. “I got inspired when we went to the botanical gardens that time. It cost a pretty penny and I had to wait for the cutting to grow, but it’s finally ready to plant.”

“That’s so cool,” You said. “Can I help?”

“Really?” He said, grinning. “Yeah, sure! There’s a pair of gloves over there on the porch. They might be a little big, but it’s better than blisters.”

You ran to retrieve them, and picked up a trowel. “Why did you decide on the maple?”

“Cause it reminds me of you,” He said, digging. “When I look out my window every day and see it, I’ll think of you.”

Your heart beat faster, but you couldn’t look at him.

It only took about an hour to dig out the hole, plant the sapling, fill the hole with soil, lay the stones, and spread the gravel. Thankfully it was a cool day and you didn’t sweat too much. The two of you caught up on what had happened in the three months since you’d seen each other. You wanted to ask if he had started dating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“It looks great,” He said, standing back and grinning. “Thanks for your help! We got it done in record time. Let’s get cleaned up and have a drink.”

“Okay,” You said. “Let me grab my purse from the car.”

“Oh, right, you had something to give me, right?”

“Yep,” You told him, grabbing your bag.

He laughed. “Sorry I side-tracked you.”

“It’s fine, I had a good time,” You said. He opened the door for you and let you go into the house before him.

You went to the bathroom to freshen up and when you looked down, you realized your toothbrush was in the holder, the one you had forgotten when you’d stayed over. You had bought a new one and figured he’d just throw it away when he found it. Why had he kept it? Why was it in the holder with his?

You went back out into the kitchen and found him shirtless, water beading down the muscles of his back, and you stopped in the doorway, staring.

“Oh, sorry,” He said, laughing and throwing on a clean shirt. “Needed a quick wash. I felt a little grimy after the yardwork.”

“It’s okay,” You said, your heart still hammering in your chest.

“Iced tea?”

“Yeah, sure,” You replied, sitting at the bar. He poured you a drink and sat at the bar opposite you.

“So, what was the thing you had for me.”

You swallowed your tea a bit too hard and reached into your purse, handing him an envelope.

“This isn’t the money, is it?” He asked, smiling.

“No, it’s not money,” You said. “Open it.”

He grinned playfully at you, but it slipped from his face when he looked inside the envelope, pulling out two plane tickets.

“Morocco?” He asked, looking up at you in surprise.

You nodded. “Those are good for a year, so make sure you get some vacation time soon,” You said, anxious.

He stared at them. “There are two.”

“Yes,” You replied. “In case you wanted to take your mom. Or maybe a girlfriend or boyfriend or something.”

You kept your face as neutral as possible, but he was staring at you.

“The extra ticket is for you, isn’t it?” He asked softly.

You looked down and away. “If you don’t want me to go, that’s okay. You can take whoever you like. I just wanted you to have the trip you always dreamed of.”

He got up out of his chair, came around, and got down on his knees, so that he was face to face with you. He leaned forward and kissed you. It was firm and testing, and you responded, throwing your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around you as well.

“I missed you,” He murmured against your lips.

“Why didn’t you ask me out?” You asked him, pulling back to look at his face.

“I thought you weren’t interested in a real relationship,” He said, pulling you against him. “If I had any inclination you did, I would have asked you out on the spot.”

“I thought the same thing,” You said. “I never expected you’d actually like me.”

“I do,” He said, kissing you again and standing up. “I like you very, very much.”

He walked you into his room and lay you down on his bed, stripping your clothes off your body.

“Pretty,” He said with a grin as he came across your lacy black underwear. “Did you wear this for me?”

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Well, it would be a shame to take it off so soon, then, wouldn’t it?” He said, palming your breasts over the fabric of your bra. He touched your slit over your underwear, and you gasped. You lifted your leg and rubbed him through his pants, and he grunted. You felt him harden under your touch. He was… uh… large.

You pulled off his shirt and ran your nails down his chest. He moved his hand away and pressed himself against you, still clothed, grinding himself into your clit, and you moaned. You reached for his belt and unbuckled it, unbuttoning it, and pushed his pants down with your toes. Because of his long tusks, he couldn’t bend down to kiss you in this position, so he picked you up as if you were a doll, kissing your body. You were always a little self conscious about your weight, being a big girl, but he seemed not to notice.

He lifted you all the way up to his face, kneeling down so that you weren’t so high up, and licked the cloth covering your slit, putting your legs over his shoulders and his tusks under your body. Using just his tongue, he moved your underwear out of the way and teased your clit. His tongue was long and thick. You whimpered and rocked your hips against his tongue. He pushed it in side of you and thrust it back and forth, and you writhed in his grip.

Carefully, he pulled you down and eased you into his lap, pressing himself against your entrance. You pressed your hands against his stomach and watched him disappear slowly inside you. He couldn’t go all the way in, but once he reached the back and knew where the limit was, he pulled back out slowly and thrust in again slowly, easing you into it. He must have had a similar size problem in the past and had learned how to overcome it in these situations. You were glad for it.

He lay you on the edge of the bed and pressed your knees back, thrusting a little faster, and you reached down and touched yourself, rubbing quickly as he sped up. He pulled the cups of your bra down so that he could grasp your breasts, squeezing gently, and grunted. You held his hand there with your own, pulling up your head and sucking on his pointer finger, looking up at him through your lashes. His breathing was erratic and he watched you hungrily, his sharp teeth biting into his lower lip and pricking the skin.

“I’m so close,” You moaned. “I’m going to cum.”

He nodded as if in agreement, squeezing his eyes shut. He grimaced as if in pain, but then shouted, roaring, and released inside of you. It was a torrent, spraying out of you. Another few hip thrusts and circles around your clit, you came too, your head thrown back against the bed, crying out.

He pulled out and turned his head, resting it against your stomach as his arms gripped your sides, breathing hard. After a moment, you both sat up, and you realized that his legs were covered with his own release.

“Wanna get cleaned up?” You asked him.

“Yeah,” He said dreamily, standing up and leading you into the bathroom. You took a shower together, helping him clean himself. He did the same for you, kneeling down and washing your body. The way he knelt in front of you combine with the way he looked at you, it almost felt like he was worshiping you. Honestly, you didn’t mind that at all.

Your underwear would have to be washed, but he said you could borrow one of his shirts, if you wanted to. Honestly, you were happy to lounge in his bed naked. He seemed happy with that, too.

“When would you like to go?” You asked him, laying on his chest and playing with his chest hair. “To Morocco, I mean?”

“Soon,” He said, entwining his fingers in your hair. “I’ll put in for vacation time as soon as I get back to the office. I don’t really take vacations, so I’m sure my colleagues will be surprised.”

You smiled and kissed his skin. “I’ll have to put in for time off, too,” You said. “Although, I only just started working there six months ago, so they may not approve it.”

“Let me know when they do and I’ll schedule for the same time,” He said.

“Sounds good to me,” He said, sitting up and crossing his legs, looking down at you. You posed a little for him and he grinned, running his hands up and down the soft skin of your torso and belly. “You know what I’d like to do right now, though?”

“What’s that?” You asked.

“I want to take you on a date,” He said, smiling softly. “A real one. I'll pay and everything. And I want to be able to kiss you.”

You smiled back at him. “Deal.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Monster Boyfriend #Troll #WoW Troll #World of Warcraft Troll

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yamagucji · 3 years

Text

some tips for writing blogs, especially those who are just starting out. these are some things that works for me and may or may not work for others.

how to add a read more link on mobile

type :readmore: on a free space, then hit the enter or return button

personally i think they’re very helpful because it lessens the space you take up in your dash, and might encourage more people to rb

+ you can also add this on a spot where it gives a sort of cliffhanger, essentially making people want to ‘read more’

headers, banners, and dividers

though not necessary, it’s good to have a title for your work. make sure it’s bold and doesn’t blend in with your notes (aka pairing, warnings, etc.). this also helps when someone wants to look up one of your works in your search bar

i don’t really make banners or covers for my works. but some good apps that i know of would be picsart and canva. if you’re looking for ideas, i definitely recommend going into canva

wondering how to make those really small, thin dividers? you can make them using picsart! to make a divider hit tools > free crop > brush > size (adjust it to your preference > then draw a line along the edge of your photo > save

using the divider you just saved, go back to picsart and edit it again > draw option > hit rainbow square at the bottom left corner > hit suction/droplet symbol right below the check mark > color in the white spots bc for some reason picsart glitches and makes dividers look white-ish

new blog? just opened an account?

this is gonna sound really frustrating. but... tumblr needs to check if you’re a bot or not. what does this mean? it’s likely that your first few posts won’t show up on the search bar. you may not even get to edit your header/pfp yet ://

this happened to me and there was no visibility on my account at ALL. what helped me get ‘verified’ is that i followed a LOT of accounts, liked a bunch of posts, made some posts here and there. now that lets tumblr know you’re not a bot

visibility

the tumblr tagging system usually only allows the first 5 tags in your post to show up. so, what can do you about this? only use FIVE or less tags in your post. wait about 15 minutes or more until you can add some more tags in your post, and they usually all show up like that

another important thing about using tags is not to generalize! especially if you’re using a popular tag. but also don’t specify it too much where barely anyone looks it up. for example, if you’re writing a gn piece about oikawa, i recommend you use the tags such as: oikawa x reader, haikyuu x reader, oikawa x gn!reader, haikyuu headcanons, etc

a good rule of thumb is to use character x reader tags first, then leave the full name or fandom tag last

FOR NSFW: tumblr doesn’t let any tags with nsfw show up. so, give your nsfw works another tag. maybe #namegetspicy idk, you figure it out

FOR WARNINGS: especially if you’re a dark content creator, i highly encourage you to add tw:xyz tags. if you already have a warning note at the top then that’s great. but even better for readers who prefer to actually block these tags that way they never get to see it

another important thing to note is that people have different timezones. it helps if you rb your work at a different time of the day, in case people missed it! (icymi) i’ve noticed that reblogging helps to make your post show up in the tags

interaction + feedback

first and foremost, you are not obligated to write for your followers, and neither are your followers obligated to interact with you. remember that everyone has their own individual lives, and they have their own things to do— so do you, too.

make friends! become mutuals with other writers, visit their ask box. i know it can be daunting having to initiate these things, but you might just turn out to have fun! you can’t expect people to interact with you if you’re not interacting (back). it’s... kind of a two way thing yk? no need to be afraid to interact with other writers. oh, and rb other writers works!

pspsps join tag games or do ask games. it’s fun and very interactive

it never hurts to ask for feedback. i usually do this in a more subtle way because i don’t really expect a full on analysis on my works. maybe a little, is this okay? or feedback appreciated. sometimes it takes a little bit of coaxing for the silent readers

formatting your posts and blog

i generally put in the title at the top in big, bold letters

then comes the header/divider. helps to make the post more... visually appealing ig?

it’s important to add warnings (if any) and the pairing. the audience is not all female, and it might be a little frustrating for male readers having to find out its an x fem reader piece like halfway through your fic

if you have multiple works posted, it’s really really helpful to have a navigation page!

you can organize the posts you make with tags! for example, if you’re shitposting, you can use a specific tag for that. if you have a nsfw related post (ESPECIALLY when your blog is open to the general audience) please make a tag for it

themes + colors

if you have a color in mind but don’t know which direction to go from there, i recommend looking up color + aesthetic

looking to use the same color? download a name color app that’ll give you a hex code for any color you want to use. then, you can type in that hex code for when you’re choosing a color for your tumblr bio

wondering how to make your header image small like mine? just choose a photo for your header and turn off the stretch image option

want to use a different text color that tumblr doesn’t offer? it’s not as complicated as you think. you’ll have to go on a desktop to do this and do some html (but trust me, it’s not very difficult). look up “HTML noob but trying my best - how to use colored text on desktop”

^^ i don’t have the link for the color text tutorial so you can try looking it up

how to make an aesthetic navi and masterlist

step 1: decide a theme! if you’re stuck, think about a character + color/season/mood or look up “[insert] aesthetic” to find some inspiration. or you can try looking at other blogs too

step 2: find a color scheme! it’s easier if you choose fewer colors. if you want to use the same color for both divider and text, download a color name app in order to get the hex code of that color.

step 3: add categories to your navi! most navigation pages include a link to masterlist, about/byi, and rules. your navi should have a title that indicates that it’s... a navigation page. you can add thin colored dividers with the same color to make it easier for followers to navigate

step 4: you can choose to create a ‘cover’ or a picture for your navigation and masterlist! again, i recommend you use the canva app as a starting point

extra: search up emoticon symbols to spice up your titles!

reminder for you as a writer

you’re not obligated to do any of these things. i’ve noticed that we tend to build pressure on ourselves when it comes to content and interaction. remember, this !! is !! for !! fun !! when you realize that it’s no longer fun, then know that it’s time to take a break. and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of self care.

^^ c/p from this post lol

at the end of the day, follower count and interaction doesn’t define you. again for the love of beings, you’re here on your own accord.

will be adding more if needed/asked.

#cupid; talks!#cueuepid

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