fuckgod-believeinyou

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

My favourite comedian explaining why we need to #BanTheBurka. And somehow, all of this “logic” can be exactly translated to the mindless fear mongering around inclusive bathrooms and trans rights.

#ban the burka #inclusive bathrooms #trans rights #islamophobia #racism #transgender #gaypride #gender diversity #diversity #one direction #gender inclusive bathrooms #equal rights #equality #equity #social work #social justice #trans lives matter #fear of a brown planet #brown lives matter #blacklivesmatter #blacktranslivesmatter #black trans lives matter #feelthebern #bernie2016 #trump2016 #trump for president #stop trump #cndpoli #NDP #abpoli

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Its not about bathrooms, just like it was never about water fountains 

#trans rights #equal rights #blacklivesmatter #blacktranslivesmatter #black lives matter #black trans lives matter #trans lives matter #queer rights #social justice #social work #gender equality #gender diversity #end the stigma #end the binary #abpoli #cndpoli #NDP #feelthebern #transgender #discrimination #oppression #racism #nonbinary #queer #proud #lgbtq #trans #equality #love #bathroom rights

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

This is so true and not talked about nearly enough 

#imperialism #terrorism #colonialism #war on terror #social work #social justice #racism #islamophobia #hate

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Vintage women being badass. You’re welcome.

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Sorry guys, but it’s 2016, if you don’t support the liberation for trans people you’re a bigot. You don’t get to continue to support the dehumanization of people and pretend you’re morally outstanding. There’s no conversations left to be had, if you don’t support trans people, you are a bigot in every sense of the word and are tied to every death, suicide, and traumatic event they face, because it’s the culture you uphold that leads to these things.

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Does anyone else fill up with dread when you realise your guy friend has a crush on you, because you’re now going to be socially obligated to provide him with additional emotional labour if you don’t want to suffer social sanctions for not fulfilling your gender’s role of managing men’s feelings?

Men who are attracted to women routinely make their crushes a problem for the women they’re aimed at. If they possess the basic understanding that they’re not entitled to a woman’s interest - which honestly can’t be assumed - they still generally feel entitled to her time and emotional labour.

They expect explanations, a chance to ask questions about her lack of interest, and perhaps even a chance to convince her to “give him a chance”. They expect to be let down in the gentlest, most complimentary way possible, to have their feelings managed every step of the way by a woman who did not ask for this interest or the job of handling it.

This is one form of male entitlement, a near-ubiquitous form of misogyny that’s so embedded it often goes unnoticed. Men, think critically about the expectations you have of a woman you’re interested in. Are you making your feelings her problem, or are you managing them on your own like a respectful adult?

No one likes to be rejected. But it’s not the job of the person rejecting you to comfort you about it or listen to heartfelt confessions they don’t want to hear. Your interest doesn’t mean they owe you. Find someone who consents to giving you that emotional labour; don’t demand it from someone you’ve trapped in an awkward situation. Let “no” be enough.

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

The lack of diversity.

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Canada, we need this!

If at least 50% of our members of parliament were women, and at least 50% of those women were women of colour, and those women includes gay women and trans women and represented a bunch of other diversity, that government would be infinitely better than what we are headed for now. Even if every single one of those women were right wing politicians it would be astoundingly better than an NDP government full of straight, white, able bodied men. An NDP government would be great. But not as great as a disbanded patriarchy. Exercise your voting power!!!

#cndpoli #ndp #patriarchy #diversity #femenism #lgbtq #abelism #elxn42 #stopharper #black lives matter #tom mulcair #getoutthevote #youth #democracy #democracy now #parliament #sexism #opression

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

It Was Easier to Give in Than Keep Running

By Anonymous

In first grade, a boy named John— a notorious troublemaker—systematically chased every girl in our class during recess trying to kiss her on the lips. Most gave in eventually. It was easier to give in than keep running. When it was my turn, I turned and faced him, grabbed his glasses off his weasel face, and stomped on them on the hard blacktop. He ran to the principal’s office and cried.

In fifth grade, I was asked to be a boy’s girlfriend over email. It was the first email I ever received. He actually told me he wanted to send me an email, so I went home and made an AOL account. We went to a carnival and he won me a Garfield stuffed animal, and then he gave me a 3 Doors Down CD. A few days later, he broke up with me, and asked for Garfield and the CD back. I said no.

In sixth grade, a girl in my year gave head to an eighth grader in the back of the school bus while playing Truth or Dare.

In the summer after sixth grade, I kissed a boy for the first time at sleep away camp. He was my summer love. During the end-of-the-summer dining hall announcements, where kids usually announced lost sweatshirts and Walkmen, an older girl stepped up to the microphone, tossed her hair behind her shoulders, and proudly stated, “I lost something very precious to me last night. My virginity. If anyone finds it, please let me know.” The dining hall erupted into laughter and cheers. She was barred from ever coming back to the camp again, and wasn’t allowed to say goodbye to anyone.

In seventh grade, I told my brother I decided when I was older wanted a Hummer. What I really meant was I wanted a Jeep, but I didn’t know a lot about cars. My mother overheard and screamed at me for “wanting a Hummer.”

In the summer after freshman year of high school, I went to sleepaway field hockey camp with many of my close friends. One of them, named Megan, I had been friends with since kindergarten. One night when I was showering, she ripped open the curtain and snapped a photo of me on her disposable camera. I screamed. She laughed. We both laughed when I got out of the shower a few minutes later. After camp was over, her father took the camera to the convenience store to get it developed. When he gave the finished photos back to her, he said, “Your friend [Anonymous] has grown up.”

Sophomore year of high school, one of my best friends Hilary had a party in her basement while her mom was away. We invited some of the guys in our grade and someone’s older brother bought us a handle of vodka. One of the boys who came sat next to me in Spanish class. His name was Thomas. I remember playing a simple game, where we passed the bottle of vodka around in a circle and drank. I remember being happily tipsy and having fun, to suddenly being very drunk. Thomas and I started chanting numbers in Spanish, and he leaned towards me and kissed me. We kissed in the middle of the party, with all of our friends cheering. Then we went into Hilary’s bedroom.

Hilary’s bedroom was in the basement, on the ground floor, with a large window next to her bed. When someone went outside to smoke a cigarette, they realized it was a front row seat to what was happening in the bedroom. It was dark outside, and the light on was in the bedroom. They called everyone outside to watch. I don’t remember getting undressed, but apparently we were both completely naked in Hilary’s bed. A friend of mine told me later she tried to open the door and stop what was happening, but Thomas must have locked it. They said they pounded on the door. I don’t remember hearing them pounding. I don’t remember seeing everyone’s faces outside the window.  I remember Thomas holding my head down, and shoving his penis into my mouth. I remember trying to resist, pulling back, but he held his hands firmly on my head, pushing my face up and down. That’s all that I remember.

The next day, my friends and I went out to dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants. I couldn’t eat anything, and it wasn’t because I was hung over. Every time I tried to put food in my mouth, I felt like I was choking. Anytime a flash of the night before appeared in my mind, I felt like vomiting. My friends sat with me in silence. Then they told me a girl named Lindsey, who had briefly dated Thomas freshman year, had stood outside and watched the entire time. Even after everyone else stopped watching. My friends said they didn’t watch.

On Monday, Thomas and I sat next to each other in Spanish. We didn’t speak. We didn’t make eye contact. I went to the girls bathroom and threw up. I hear Lindsey and Thomas live together, now, ten years later.

Junior year of high school, my teacher for Honors Spanish was named Señor Gonzales. Señor Gonzales had all of the girls sit in the front row. Señor Gonzales called on any girl who was wearing a skirt to write on the chalkboard. Señor Gonzales asked a friend of mine, who had broken her finger playing an after school sport, if she broke her finger because “she liked it rough.” Señor Gonzales was a tenured teacher.

Senior year of high school, I got my first real boyfriend. His name was Colin. He was on the lacrosse team with Thomas. He told me that sophomore year, Thomas told everyone on the team what happened that night at Hilary’s. Everyone cheered. Colin said that, even then, he had a crush on me. Even then, he wanted to punch Thomas.

Colin and I lost our virginities to each other. Colin said if I got pregnant, he would make me have the baby. He didn’t believe in abortion. Colin said if I got pregnant, he would make me have a C-section. Colin said that if I didn’t have a C-section, my vagina would be too loose for him to ever enjoy having sex with me again. Colin said that he wouldn’t let our child breastfeed. He said his mother gave him formula, and that he turned out just fine. I didn’t get pregnant.

Junior year of college, I lived in Denmark for the spring semester and studied at the University of Copenhagen. Copenhagen is one of the safest cities in the world. Guns are illegal there. Pepper spray is illegal there. One night, my friends and I went to a concert at a crowded club in a part of the city I didn’t know very well. I brought a tiny purse with money, my apartment key, and my international cell phone. For some reason it made sense at the time to put my purse inside my friend’s purse. Maybe I didn’t feel like carrying it. We were both drinking. My friend left the concert to go home with her boyfriend. One by one, everyone I was there with left the concert, until I was suddenly alone and I realized I didn’t have my purse, or any money for a cab ride home.

I started walking in the direction that felt right. I walked for a long time. I had no idea where I was, and didn’t recognize the area. It was almost 4 am. I was on a residential street when a cab pulled up next to me. I asked the driver if he could drive me to an intersection down the street from my apartment.

I don’t have any money, I said.

I really need your help, I said.

I will do it for free, he said.

Sit in the front, he said.

I sat in the front. We drove in silence for some time, until he pulled over on the side of a dark street.

I don’t want to do it for free anymore, he said.

He locked the car doors and reached across the center console and slipped his hand up my skirt. He grabbed my vagina. Hard. I pushed his hand away and unlocked the door. I ran down the street and realized he had taken me a block away from the intersection I wanted. I walked to my apartment and threw rocks at my roommate’s window until she let me inside. She yelled at me for waking her up. I escaped. Nothing happened. I was fine.

The summer after I graduated college I helped Hilary find an internship. She was an art major and wanted something for her resume besides waitressing. We found a posting on Craigslist to be a studio assistant for a painter in the Bronx. It was listed as an unpaid internship. The toll for the George Washington Bridge was twelve dollars, plus gas, but she got the internship anyway. She wanted the experience.

The artist was a 38-year-old Canadian painter named Bradley. Hilary was 22.There was another intern there, an art student from Manhattan named Stella.  Bradley needed assistants to help him make bubble wrap paintings. Stella and Hilary would take a syringe and fill the tiny bubbles with different color paints until it formed a mosaic. Bradley always had Hilary stay after Stella left to clean the paintbrushes and syringes. He told Hilary she was beautiful. More beautiful than his wife, who he only married for citizenship. He told Hilary they had a loveless marriage. He told Hilary he wanted to have her beautiful children. They began an affair. He told Hilary has wife knew and didn’t care. He told Hilary he was going to leave his wife soon.

Everyday Hilary drove to the Bronx, cleaned Bradley’s paintbrushes, and had sex on the studio floor. Everyday she went home with no money, and everyday she paid the toll at the George Washington Bridge. She needed the internship for her resume, she said. It was too late to find a new job, she said.

I could go on. I could tell you a lot more. About the whistles on the sidewalk, the kids who sat at the bottom of the stairs in high school to look up our skirts, my friend who was a prostitute in South Carolina, the men who’ve cornered me in parking lots and bars calling me a tease, the unwanted grabbing on the subway, the many times my father has called me fat, the time I traveled to the Philippines and discovered Western men pay preteen locals to spend the week in their hotel, the messages on OKCupid asking to “fart in my mouth.” About how I wasn’t sure if I had been raped because I was drunk and kissed Thomas back. How he raped my mouth and not my vagina, so that must not be rape. How easy it was for me to escape the dark street in Copenhagen, and how that made it not matter since “it could’ve been worse.”

Men have no idea what it takes to be a woman. To grin and bear it and persevere. The constant state of war, navigating the relentless obstacle course of testosterone and misogyny, where they think we are property to be owned and plowed. But we’re not. We are people, just like them. Equals, in fact, or at least that’s the core of what feminism is still trying to achieve. The job is not over. We’ve made great progress. There are female CEOs, though not very many. There are females writing for the New York Times and winning Pulitzer prizes, though not very many.  There are female politicians, though not very many. But these advances are only on paper. The job won’t be over until equality permeates the air we breathe, the streets we walk and the homes we live in.

I think back to how easy it was for me, in first grade, to feel fearless and strong in my conviction to stomp on John’s glasses. I felt right in reacting how I did, because John’s behavior was wrong. But his was an elementary learning of the wide boundaries his gender would go on to afford him. For me, it would never again be so easy.

- Anonymous, age 25

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

People are SO blind to sexism!

So I'm seriously feeling like, emotional angry right now about how disgustingly misogynistic society is. I try to surround myself with feminists; people who like and respect women and who are tuned in to the oppression that we face. When I'm surrounded by feminists misogyny seems real, but it seems like an issue that people are recognizing and challenging and it makes me feel like we are on the way to eradicating it. 

But the truth is that most people don't identify as feminists, and the second I start spending time with people who don't, things can start to feel really overwhelming and really bad. It scares me to watch women walk around totally blind to their own oppression, failing to see the ways that they are devalued and kept down. It hurts me to watch men belittle all things feminine, and to see femininity brandished as an insult. It confuses me to watch those same men swear up and down that they respect women and are by no means sexist. If you use femininity as an insult and at the same time claim to respect females then I don't understand what your life is about?!?!

#patriarchy #sexism #feminism #femininity #equality #gender equality #misogyny #women #social justice #womensequalityday #be yourself #women are awesome #women are strong

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Great post

How are you guys handling all of this with Liam and Harry and Zayn? I'm 27 and this fandom has more drama than any of the boy band fandoms of old lol. It's stressing me out man! I just want to see cute boys sing love songs and make silly jokes but there's always so much drama over every little thing. Sigh. I miss N'Sync lol

Oh people, do I ever have thoughts on the Liam drama from today. 

First things first…. I’m really sorry to anyone who was at that show or listened to the clip/read what he said and felt hurt in any way. That song is a delight and I bet my bottom dollar a woman/girls listened to that song and it reminded them of their lady love/crush/significant other and I’m sure they felt like something was taken away in the meaning of that song because of what Liam said. I’m straight myself, and I live in the privilege of our culture’s hetero-normitive narrative. I rarely feel left out when I listen to songs/watch tv/movies/read books ECT and I can’t even wrap my mind around how hard it must be for members of the LQBT community to constantly be left out of “the mainstream”. 

That being said…. the fact that people were telling him to kill himself and talking shit about Liam all day long because he made a mistake makes me sick to my stomach. Liam has proven time and time again to be a kind hearted person. Yes, he sticks his foot in his mouth constantly, but his earnest and sincere effort to always send us fans love both online and at the shows shouldn’t be forgotten because he made a mistake. 

His apology tweets were defensive, yes, but no one has ever told me to kill myself on the internet or to my face and I imagine I would get defensive as well. 

He didn’t say what he said to be malicious or spread hate. He made a mistake. He’s a person. People make mistakes. 

Let’s foster open dialogue when people do things like this. I’m sure I’ve said really problematic things in my life and would hope someone would kindly and gently correct me. I’m sure I said problematic things in this post alone. Come talk to me, educate me, spread love and light and understanding. 

Sorry this is so long but I’m really passionate about this, and hope people give each other the benefit of the doubt when shit gets real, especially when people make honest mistakes. 

Liam I love you. 

xoxo Candice

P.S. I will never not miss N’Sync. Don’t tell Cassie…..

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Thought of the day

Religion is one of the biggest barriers to social justice

#religion #christ #christian #christianity #islam #organized religion #spirituality #free thought #free your mind #logic #logical reasoning #rationality #free thinking #dogma #atheism #atheist #agnostic #no religion

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Not Everyone Is Beautiful

Throughout history people have always had particular standards for judging people’s beauty. Those standard are always evolving and granted, our current beauty standards are pretty fucked up, but there have always been people who meet those standards and people who dont. And that’s ok.

When we go around insisting that every woman is beautiful we are reinforcing the idea that ‘beauty’ is synonymous with ‘valuable’ or ‘worthy’. We're just finding a different way than dominant pop culture to say that the most important thing that a woman can be is beautiful.

If you are beautiful thats awesome. Good for you! If you are not beautiful that doesn’t mean that you aren't funny, compassionate, loveable ect. If you are a really talented athlete that is really great! If you aren’t a good athlete that’s ok. Im sure there are plenty of other things you have going for you, and i doubt you need an ad campaign reassuring you that actually everyone is athletic.

#beauty #beauty privilege #feminism #beauty standards #one direction #otra #otrat2015 #otra metlife #love yourself #self love #body image #drag me down #women #girls #youth #teens #beautiful #insecure #self esteem #confidence

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

Democracy, Nah.

It’s straight up taboo to suggest that democracy is not the best way to govern a country. It evokes a child like, knee-jerk reaction where people stomp their feet, plug their ears and shout COMMUNIST, FREEDOM HATER, NAZI!!! Obviously there are some pretty big flaws to Canada’s current political system. Our first-past-the-post policy, our low voter turnout and a lack of diversity in our political representatives all work to make our democratic system fairly undemocratic. But the point of this post isn’t to say that we need to improve our democracy, Im suggesting that maybe democracy in itself, even in its most true form, is not the holy gail of social organization.

Firstly, democracy can definitely be described as TYRANNY BY THE MAJORITY. What the majority wants, the majority gets. It doesn’t matter how negative the outcome is for minorities and often the majority can and does benefit directly at the expense of minorities. “Democracy is two wolves and a rabbit voting on what to eat for dinner”. If we held a democratic referendum to find out whether or not people wanted to reinstate chattel slavery and everyone voted yes except one person, should we reinstate it? NO! Duh. But how does democracy protect us when the majority gets it wrong which, lets face it is pretty often?

I’ve heard Obamacare being described as Obama picking America up and dragging it, kicking and screaming, into the future. Did the American majority want Obamacare? With current voter turnout rates and the nature of “representation” its actually hard to tell. But one thing is for sure. A LOT of Americans were very strongly opposed to it. Does that mean it was wrong? Does that mean it was a bad idea? No. No it doesn’t.

And lets not forget the Iron Law of Oligarchy. The power, much like the money, gets concentrated people!! It just does.

Now first question people manage to form after I explode their minds with my suggestion that democracy may not be the best policy is usually “well what is the better alternative”? Totally logical question. I don’t have an answer for that. I have some broad ideas, like the idea that certain rights and policies need to be protected even if 99% of the population opposes them, but I don’t have a plan for how exactly a society that was structured for that would function. But you don’t always need to know what the right answer is in order to know that something is wrong. I don’t know the cure for epilepsy but I know it isn’t bloodletting. I don’t know the best alternative to democracy but I know that refusing to engage in conversation that doesn’t glorify democracy is only going to keep us from achieving social justice.

Noam Chomsky (fuck, he’s so smart!) said -“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.” We need to expand our thinking.

#freeyourmind #freethought #free thinking #democracy #libertarian #cndpoli #elxn42 #democracy now #war #war on terror #politics #anarchy #noam chomsky #humanist #rational thinking #black lives matter #say her name #human rights #civil rights #privilege #majority rule #social justice #social work #police killings #cops #police brutality #logic #think big #health care #obama

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

About Earth 2.0. Does it have Oil? if yes then it requires some democracy.

#freedom #democracy #war #war on terror

[fuckgod-believeinyou]

As women we are faced with a unique kind of catch 22 where we are expected to conform to the “female” gender box and then even if we do conform, the characteristics that fit into that box are totally devalued by society. If we step out of the box we are shamed for that too.

Its totally illogical to think that wearing pink sneakers makes you gay, or driving a Ford F150 makes you straight, or liking One Direction is only for young girls and it also makes you weak. Do what you want, be who you are. You might be judged for it but times are changing for the better.  

New Video: STOP SHAMING FEMININITY

A rant about an experience I had today.

reblog for a follow ♡ 

#feminism #gender norms #gender roles #masculinity #femininity #be yourself #nonconformity