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Disability, Cures, and the Complex Relationship Between Them

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about cures, just in general, as a concept. I've been watching the excellent videos of John Graybill II on Youtube, where he demonstrates his day-to-day movements as someone with Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy 2a, and updates every year to show how it progresses. I'm currently writing a character with LGMD and wanted to be sure I understand exactly how it impacts his daily life and movement limitations, so this has been extremely helpful, because there's only so much you can glean from a list of symptoms.

Quick Background on John Graybill II

John started this series in 2007/8, back when he was about 30 years old. He was diagnosed when he was 17, back in '95, and, when he started this series, he was very much fighting his LGMD, in a constant struggle, and angry with himself and the condition. In this, he directed a lot of toxic positivity at himself and became convinced he could defeat LGMD with positive thinking, healthy diet, etc.

Now, while I respect that there are positives to this (exercise and eating well is rarely a bad thing, and the stretches he does almost certainly have helped him to lengthen his time with mobility), there is also something to be said for accepting a physical disability for what it is. In later videos, he clearly had shifted that mindset toward something a bit more realistic. Where, in the beginning, he had been certain that he would somehow heal himself through positivity and such, he later says that may never happen, and he wants to enjoy doing what he can, while he can, instead of being in a constant battle with himself.

That being said, he does run an organization (I believe he runs it?) that seeks to fund research and find a cure for muscular dystrophy of this particular variety. And, while watching his videos from oldest to newest, I've been grappling with my complicated feelings regarding cures.

Why Are Cures a Complicated Topic?

The reason cures are a complicated topic is because, for a lot of us, cures are unlikely to ever be developed - at least not within our lifetimes and probably not within our children's lifetimes. Many physical disabilities and disorders are just too rare, too unknown, the cause unclear. For us, we have to just accept that this is something we have to live with, for better or for worse.

The other reason is that people are often proponents of seeking cures for things that don't need curing, such as autism. Obviously I haven't polled every autistic person alive, but I have known and read content from countless autistic people. I don't think I've ever found a single autistic person who wanted to be cured of autism. In fact, I would say most of them were pretty vocally oppositional toward the idea, for good reason. 90% of the difficulty that comes with being autistic comes from societal ableism and accessibility issues on a systemic level.

My Thoughts on Cures

I can't speak for everyone with incurable physical disabilities that are unlikely to have a cure developed, nor can I speak for everyone who's autistic, but, speaking for myself, talk of cures can be extremely uncomfortable to me.

I asked myself why. Because, in reality, there shouldn't be anything wrong with researching a cure for something like LGMD. It causes people great difficulty and often great pain. For certain variants, it causes early death.

And, after reflecting on my feelings for a long while, I think I've figured out why the word and the concept bothers me so much.

Cures Are Often Used as a Crutch for Ableism

There are, broadly speaking, two camps of people who want cures:

People who want to improve their quality of life, the quality of life of someone they love, or who want to prevent future generations from the difficulty they or a loved one have been dealt

People who are uncomfortable with disability and want it to go away

This is a venn diagram with a large overlap. The number of people who are purely in camp 1 is much smaller than you might hope.

Why Is Wanting to Get Rid of Disability a Problem?

Okay so here's why camp 2 is a problem. Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that every disability has a possible cure that just has to be found. Why is that a problem? Disability is bad, right?

Wrong! Disability is completely amoral - it has no goodness or badness. It just is. Ideally, some of the more painful disabilities could be cured to prevent pain and early death. However, the problem with viewing disability, in a vacuum, as bad, is that your opinion of the disability will inevitably rub off on the people with the disability.

When you view disability as an adversary, you view disabled people as a problem to solve.

Just as John Graybill II explains in one of his stair-climbing videos a few years into the series, he had spent so long trying to fight the progression of the illness, that he had spent every day in passive anger and frustration. He had forgotten to just enjoy his ability to climb stairs. And he said that he wished he could go back and just enjoy it - stop timing himself on his stopwatch and trying to beat his times. Basically, even as a disabled man himself, he had spent so long looking at his disability as a problem to fix, he hadn't been properly enjoying being a person and just living his life.

When you apply the same fix-it approach to someone who doesn't have a disability, it's equally easy for them to forget the personhood of the people with disabilities. Only, instead of it being directed at themselves, it is directed at others. They push their disabled loved ones to just try harder, just push harder and for longer, eat right, try this, do that, think right, take vitamins - if you just try hard enough, you can beat this!

Except... most of the time, you can't.

The idea that doing everything right will allow you to beat a chronic illness is just ableism in a scientific hat. You're afraid - of being disabled, of the consequences of disability, of someone you love being different, of them looking weird, becoming weird, being seen in public yourself or with someone disabled, of being uncomfortable, of having to put in more energy and effort into helping someone with special needs.

The list of things people are afraid of is endless, and the positive spin on that ableism is simply fighting to fix it.

Make it go away so that you don't have to deal with it anymore.

And then, when you take that approach and apply it to the countless disabilities that don't have cures and may never have cures, you end up with boatloads of people who are seen as problems to solve. They feel like a burden to their family and friends. They're pushed to do what hurts and will actually cause more long-term problems for them by forcing themselves to do things they shouldn't be doing - things that damage their bodies, which aren't meant to do those things anymore.

The Long-Term Consequences of Ableist Pushes for Cures

So back to that argument about all disabilities being curable with time: what's the problem with making some disabled people uncomfortable if, one day, all disability is cured and there are no more disabled people?

Well, the simple answer is this: that's never going to happen, and if you think that way, you're a eugenicist.

Even if every disability is curable with time, the ends do not justify the means - the means being to humiliate and degrade disabled people by treating them like problems.

And it would take decades, maybe even centuries, of those means to even reach the ends. But we'll stop that argument there, because there will never be an end to disability.

Why There Is No End to Disability

So, the thing about disability, is it will never cease to exist. Even if it was a good goal to have, which it isn't, it's never going to happen.

Disability is often caused by gene mutation. At one point, none of the gene mutations for our current physical disabilities existed. They developed. And, just as the current disabilities developed over time and with gene mutations, so will new and different ones. Even if we cured all of the current disabilities, there would always be new ones, likely developing as fast as we can cure the existing ones.

Additionally, a lot of disability is not congenital. People who are in accidents and lose legs will never be able to regrow those legs. Even if eugenicists managed to prevent any "deformed" babies from being born without limbs, people would lose them from accidents and infection, and all kinds of things.

In a world where all congenital disabilities were cured, what quality of life do you expect people in wheelchairs to have?

Because I think I can confidently say that, if everything congenital were cured, a day wouldn't pass before accessibility laws were thrown out the window. We would be returned to the days where disabled people are hidden away and can't leave the house - kept as shameful secrets by families who resent them, or shown off as paragons of strength and virtue when/if they're able to be fitted with a working prosthetic.

Neither of these outcomes is positive.

The Slippery Slope of Cure Ideology

So, on to another argument: there is a lot of danger in letting cure ideology go unchallenged.

I want to clarify again, that I don't think we should never research cures. I'm challenging, specifically, the social movement behind cures that is often driven by eugenicism and ableism.

So, why is it dangerous to let that exist? Well, let's look back at the reason I mentioned that people are in camp 2: they are afraid of being uncomfortable. They are afraid of what's different from them. They view difference as a problem to be solved - a disease or a disorder.

You can see this exact principle in action when people fight for a cure for autism. It's being fought for by the allistics who know people with autism, not usually the autistics themselves. It's being fought for by parents who are angry that their child is different or won't look them in the eyes. They see them as an obstacle to overcome, not as a person who has a different way of socializing. Even in the best case, where they see them as a person more than a problem, they are seen as a person with a wrong and disordered way of socializing.

Imagine, for a moment, that there was an allistic trait that people treated as disordered or wrong the way an ableist might treat hand-flapping or lining up toys. Let's take a direct comparison - something one does when they're happy - like laughing. Imagine, for a moment, that something you do when you're joyful, is treated like a maladaption. Perhaps, in this alternate universe, smiling is normal, but laughing is disturbing to people. You spend your life desperately trying to repress your laughter, hiding your joy, even though it's the most natural thing in the world to you. How would you feel hearing people chanting positively, with smiles, taking donations, running marathons and dancing, all for a cure for laughter?

Really, really, genuinely think about it.

Imagine living your entire life like that.

This doesn't just relate to autism.

The reason this ideology has to be challenged is not just by the concrete example of people trying to cure autism, it's the root of the ideology, that different is bad. That the majority being uncomfortable means the minority is wrong and needs to be fixed.

Is this ringing any other bells for you? Because autism isn't the only thing I desperately hope they don't find a genetic link for.

If fighting for a cure for anything people deem different and weird enough goes unchallenged, people will attempt to cure anything they don't like. Like being gay. Or being trans.

And I'm not talking about conversion camps that try to brainwash you into thinking you're not gay. I'm not talking about the abusive Christian approach, I'm talking about the eugenicist scientist approach.

If a genetic link were found or if there was some kind of actual biological difference, that could mean people trying to test fetuses for the "homosexuality gene" or whatever. It would give a concrete path for eugenicists to try preventing gay and trans people from ever even being born.

And, if that biological connection is found, how long do you think it would take for people to start excitedly pushing for a cure to "homosexuality" or "transgenderism"?

What is the point of this post?

It's food for thought.

I want, not only my abled followers, but my disabled ones as well, to reflect on how they feel about cures - about being cured or about curing others.

I want you all to ask yourself, am I in camp 1 or camp 2?

Your goal in supporting a cure should be to prevent death, to prevent pain that cannot be overcome through systemic support and accessibility, to help people live lives with quality.

Your goal in supporting a cure should never be to remove something that makes you uncomfortable. If you're abled, it should never be to make your life easier or alleviate your feelings of guilt, resentment, or stress. It should never be to make people normal, especially not people you care about.

And, on a final note, remember that the things you see in a disability you know nothing about may not have anything to do with reality. If you see a disability for the first time and you immediately wish for a cure for it, simply because it looks painful, maybe find out if it actually is first. Sometimes we attribute pain and misery to things that are no big deal to the people dealing with them. And, in doing so, we also attribute heroicism and virtue to the people dealing with them - which they did not ask for.

Don't make disabled people into a project. Don't use them as inspiration porn - putting them on a pedestal and using them as proof that "anything is possible."

Treat disabled people with dignity and respect.

Treat disabled people as people, with or without them jumping through every hoop you think will make them better.

Think about how fucking annoying it would be if, every time you got up from a chair in public, everyone stared at you, or even praised you for it. How uncomfortable would you be if no one ever saw you as yourself but as some kind of ambassador for strong, amazing people who are so so so cool because they can tie their shoelaces.

Think about how fucking infuriating it would be if every tenth person you walked past turned to you, looking sad, and said "god bless you."

Think about how old that would get, and how fast.

That's all. Just think about it.

#there are like 6 different points in this post fighting for dominance #i hope you walk away with all 6 #disability #ableism #ableism mention #chronic illness #actually disabled #disabled #lgmd #muscular dystrophy #autism #asd #autistic ableism #adriandontlook #queer #lgbt #long #long post #longpost #pots #eds #fibro #fibromyalgia #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #ehlers danlos syndrome

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This is so fucked up. This article is from 2017 but afaik is still accurate. Let me know if anything has been done about this since then - possibly during the early pandemic?

TL;DR most medications seem to be stable for leagues longer than their expiration dates say, and their expiration dates have been extended federally after doing periodic potency testing with the drugs hoarded by the US government, but the FDA refuses to extend the official expiration dates. It's illegal for medical professionals to dispense expired drugs, so perfectly good medications are being thrown out constantly.

#health #medication #disability #medical treatment #fda #chronic illness #chronic pain #actually disabled #pots #fibro #fibromyalgia #eds #tagging all my things #cfs

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Alright everyone listen carefully

Have you ever heard the phrase, "don't feed the trolls?"

Maybe you have, maybe you haven't. What it means is this:

When some bigot posts a reply under a post, if everyone just blocks them without saying anything, that bigot gets no traction. They disappear into the void.

If every second reply is a reply arguing with them or telling them to fuck off, guess what? The bigot won.

You have now guaranteed, collectively, that every person who goes into this reply section gets nothing but a barrage of garbage interactions with a bigot. You've ensured the reply section is nothing but arguing and you've also encouraged the bigot to reply further. It doesn't matter how many times you say "wow you're still replying? Everyone hates you, just fuck off" that bigot is going to keep replying because you keep offering engagement on a silver fucking platter. "I'm just responding to you @ ing me :/" and they're right! You are part of the problem here! You literally notified their account with engagement.

Stop engaging with bigots!!

Block them! Ignore them! Let them disappear into obscurity!

Not only does this make reply sections an unnavigable mess, you're also spamming ops notifications with replies to the bigot. So they either have to get constant notifications with the topic of bigotry or they're forced to turn off notifications to their post which forces them to lose out on positive engagement they could also be getting.

Let your positivity and your refusal to engage with bigotry outweigh your desire to prove how moral and just you are. You don't need to prove you don't agree with the bigot. You don't need to point out the flaws in their reasoning. They don't care. They thrive off of sowing chaos, so you're helping them, not educating them.

Put that revolutionary energy into something more useful than yelling at a brick wall on Tumblr. Your desire to do right and affect positive change is a valuable trait, but this isn't going to do either of those things. Find a positive way to put that to action.

#advice #psa #lgbt #queer #current events

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Always so funny to me when people say "people always say X until Y happens and then suddenly they Z"

Have you considered... That the people saying X... Are a different set of people... Than the people doing/saying Z? Like... Have you considered?

The constant assumption of hypocrisy is so funny like did you know there are more than one (1) groups of people

#Tumblr #drama #adventures with Tumblr #funny

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Okay, for anyone who saw my recent post about the Black roots of American music, I have continued my journey to the genres dominated more by white people and then more modern stuff as well and I have more links to drop if you're all interested in learning some music history with me!

The history of bluegrass:

Recent developments regarding a German museum for techno music and the erasure of Black and queer groundwork done in the US:

A list of metal subgenres and what makes them different. Spoiler: there are a shitload of metal subgenres and they all somehow make sense. Also, some of the music you thought was rock is metal. The more you know!

I'm gonna have to put the rest of my research on hold for a couple of days because I've got a transatlantic flight in the morning so I'm gonna be traveling for like 20 hours straight and then sleeping

I hope some of you enjoy reading these like I did!

#music #music history #history #punk #punk music #techno #metal #heavy metal #black metal #death metal #bluegrass

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So I was grabbed hold of by my music hyperfixation today and it turned out, today's the day I learn more about the history of American music as made by African Americans. Since, you know, they did most of it.

I've known for a long time that American music has deep roots in Black experiences and culture, but it was always such a behemoth of genres and artists that I didn't know what exactly I liked or where to start.

So, today, I figured I'd do what I do best and start with all of it at once.

Okay, not exactly. I'm doing it in chronological order. But in order to accurately order the shitload of playlists and folders I was making on Spotify, I needed to know what order those genres were discovered in.

I am not in school for this, I'm not educated on this and, as a white person, I don't feel like I have the nuance, experience, or understanding to properly write a massive post about this topic, but I did want to share a few articles I've read today, because they were extremely well-written (as far as I can tell), informative, and moving.

Reasons to Read These

African Americans have been the driving force in just about every music genre that's come out of America. If you don't already know that, or want to know more, you should read these.

Do you find music and musical evolution fascinating? You should read these.

Are you queer? Disco is part of queer culture as well and the overlap between Black and queer culture in that time period leans heavily on disco, which is fascinating and part of your own history. You should read these.

If you care about racial tensions in the US, the article that talks about Earth, Wind, & Fire goes into the ways disco impacted racial tensions in the US in the late 70s. It's good knowledge to have under your belt. You should read these.

Bonus shout out to The Get Down on Netflix. I watched this a year or two ago and was obsessed with it for a few days until the fixation passed. This is part of the driving inspiration for me looking into the history of disco and hip-hop so extensively today, because the vibes in the show were just... enrapturing. And, looking at the Wikipedia page for it to double check how it was received by people who know more than me, it does seem to have good reception. I especially like that they involved historical pioneers in its creation (DJ Grandmaster Flash, who invented modern use of turntables for hip-hop, DJ Kool Herc, and Kurtis Blow, all in their 60s and part of the original hip-hop scene in the Bronx). So if you want to watch something that will get you hyped about disco and hip-hop, I can just about promise you that'll do it. Needless to say, I will be rewatching it very soon.

Long but detailed and very well written. Has many artist suggestions:

A shorter summary for someone who wants a quick read:

I hope some of you will click through and learn something with me today c:

#music #history #music history #jazz #disco #hip hop #rap #queer #queer history #black history #blm #black music #black music history #earth wind and fire #african american music #racism mention

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It would genuinely benefit a lot of you, both internally and in how you interact with people, if you could learn to say to yourself, "this isn't about me," in place of, "this isn't true about me so the person saying it is insulting/being mean to me."

Sometimes generalizations are made on the Internet. Sometimes the only way a meaningful message about something can be said is by using a generalization.

If you're part of the group being generalized (and that generalization isn't racist, phobic, or otherwise directed harmfully at a minority by someone outside of that minority), and the generalization doesn't accurately describe your actions or beliefs

👏 That👏 Statement👏 Is Not👏 About👏 You👏

If you are willing to admit that the majority of people in the generalized group do behave or believe like op said, congratulations, you are agreeing with the statement!

Making it about you does multiple things:

It makes you upset over someone saying something inaccurate about you when it wasn't about you, which is silly and unnecessary

It makes you inclined to disalign yourself with the group calling out bad behavior, because you've incorrectly counted yourself as one of their named adversaries

It makes you more likely to become an actual adversary to that group because their callouts and concerns make you feel guilty and uncomfortable and your brain, if it doesn't want to accept that, may try to counter it by deciding that group is unreasonable, illogical, or x derogatory thing

It encourages you to feel and act like a victim when you're not, which is both bad for your mental health and a great way to make others uncomfortable around you

If you make comments to defend yourself when it wasn't about you:

It clogs up tags and responses with needless discourse

It derails and dilutes the original message

It informs minorities that you cannot be trusted to maturely handle their concerns because you're going to take it as a personal criticism when it's not about you

So basically, if you feel defensive about something you read, ask yourself:

Is this statement an accurate description of my actions or beliefs?

If the answer is yes but you feel guilty about it, it is about you and you should take steps to actually do what the post is suggesting and counter that behavior or belief that you don't want to have.

If the answer is no, it wasn't about you. Reblog the post and move on.

#politics #social politics #advice

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Reblogging to clarify, because some people aren't seeming to understand the point of this post.

This isn't about defending Kissinger or aligning him with Jews.

I am aware that he spat on his Jewish heritage. This is about keeping goyim aware of what they're reblogging because, whether Kissinger was ashamed of being a Jew or not, antisemites will still use his being Jewish to spread antisemitic rhetoric which will cause further harm to Jewish people who, unlike Kissinger, we should care about.

It's already been happening because of the genocide, and people have been ignorantly reblogging and parroting dogwhistles left and right. I am simply reminding people that this is another extremely convenient outlet for antisemites to trick well meaning leftists into thoughtlessly hitting reblog in the name of pissing on Henry Kissinger's grave.

Try to make sure you're not pissing next to a Nazi.

Okay I'm gonna go ahead and jump on this real quick before the ball gets rolling too hard.

Please be cautious in the words and criticisms you use over Henry Kissinger's death and make sure you're critical of what you're reblogging.

He's Jewish and his death is going to be a great opportunity for antisemites to spread antisemitic rhetoric that uncritical leftists are going to reblog without a single thought because they're overenthusiastic about celebrating the death of an old warmonger

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Okay I'm gonna go ahead and jump on this real quick before the ball gets rolling too hard.

Please be cautious in the words and criticisms you use over Henry Kissinger's death and make sure you're critical of what you're reblogging.

He's Jewish and his death is going to be a great opportunity for antisemites to spread antisemitic rhetoric that uncritical leftists are going to reblog without a single thought because they're overenthusiastic about celebrating the death of an old warmonger

#Henry Kissinger #antisemitism #current events #News #Henry Kissinger's death

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Irritates the hell out of me when people respond to a post or comment like, "everyone does this, it's not just [disorder/illness/neurotype], it's called being a person."

Yeah and everyone coughs once in a while but it doesn't mean someone with pneumonia doesn't cough?? It doesn't mean pneumonia doesn't cause coughing??

Everyone gets dizzy once in a while but it doesn't mean vertigo doesn't exist??

Just about every symptom or group-common trait is going to be experienced by people who don't belong to those groups or have that disorder. It's about the frequency and intensity with which that symptom or trait comes up.

#disability #adhd #autism #asd #nd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #actually disabled #disabled #pots #pots syndrome #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #fibro #cfs #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #chronic fatigue syndrome

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I fucking hate the way game culture has evolved from everyone being so fucking used to games being unfinished, unpolished, and half made upon release so that anytime someone goes into a game dev discord into a channel made for suggestions and makes a suggestion for a very good quality of life or accessibility feature, there's always that one guy who has to be like, "There's already a mod for that." Or, "Just mod it."

No! I will not just mod it! I should not have to mod my game to get basic accessibility or quality of life! That's what continued development is for! That's what suggestion channels are for! Quit encouraging developers to release half made games because "someone can just mod it to be better"

It shouldn't be the job of the community to finish a damn game!

Not to mention if the game is updated, it can break the mods and make them obsolete anyway! I do not want to have to rely on 6 different developers/modders all deciding they want to keep up with the same game in order to have basic game functions! That is what the game dev team is for!

#games #game #gaming #steam #game development #gamers of tumblr

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I don't know who needs to hear this but you do not need to waste space in your sharps container for trash OR the syringe - just the needles. Cap the needles and pop those bad boys off the body of the syringe and make your sharps container last about 3 times as long.

#ftm #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #genderqueer #transition #injections #needles #trans man #also I don't use needles for #disability #but some people might #and might also need to hear this #diabetes

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So, I've heard conflicting opinions on this before and I just started a game that has this and it made me think, hm, maybe poll time

\* White and black meaning the actual colors/shades, not the skin colors

\** We're talking about this in a purely thematic sense and assuming the media is not using all white people on the light/good side and a lot of Black people or NBPOC on the dark/evil side, because obviously that would be racist regardless of light/dark motif

Reblog for a bigger sample size and leave your thoughts in reblogs or replies. White people, don't clown on/talk over any POC in my notes istfg. Let's make this a good faith discussion. If you don't know how to share your thoughts or have a discussion without being an asshole, your comments are getting deleted

#racism mention #poll #media #video games #movies #tv #polls #discussion #blm

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Okay at this point I can only assume the massive uptick in the use of the word "degenerate" has to be caused by the surge in antisemitic psyop bullshit going on because of the genocide.

I don't know who needs to hear this but

STOP CALLING PEOPLE DEGENERATES

It's a fucking Nazi dog whistle. Google it. Do some research. Quit calling people degenerates.

It's bad enough when it's about random people you think are monsters but using it to refer to a Jewish person... I'm about to start blocking people on sight when I see this word coming out of their blog.

Call the behaviors of evil IDF soldiers what it is: evil and unforgivable. But don't just uncritically parrot Nazi terminology without a single fuck to give for how that's impacting Jews as a whole

#psa #antisemitism #dog whistle #freepalestine #free palestine

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Performativity vs. Habit-Forming

I think something people get routinely wrong is thinking that doing something good deliberately is inherently performative, so they avoid doing that thing at all.

Someone performative says one thing and does another. Their actions conflict with their stated morals/ethics. Performativity is someone saying they have a gay friend while regularly doing things that harm that friend's rights. They are performing allyship and inclusion by using their gay friend as a prop.

Someone may reflect on their actions and notice that, while they aren't doing any noticeably negative things toward a group of people they want to align with, they also aren't doing any overtly positive things in their alignment. If someone notices this, and their intentions are genuine, they may think,

"What can I do to help? How can I be more overt about my support?"

The trouble is, with a lot of leftists, the fear of overstepping, doing something wrong, or in any way drawing negative or critical attention toward their well-intentioned actions leads them to follow that internal query with,

"No, no, if I do those things [that didn't already come naturally to me], it's just a performance. People will notice I'm performing and I'll get in trouble for being performative."

But! Just because an action doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean it's a performance!

The actions that come naturally to us are hugely influenced by how we were raised, the social circles we participate in, the media we watch, and our own personal mental muscle-memory. You doing something new that you've never done before doesn't make you weird or performative.

If you want to support marginalized communities in a way you've never tried before, the fact that it feels unnatural to you is not a sign that it's the wrong move, or that you're performing, it's a sign that it's unfamiliar. Doing this once, twice, 5 times will make it come naturally.

You are habit-forming!

The friends you're supporting with your new actions, comments, or engagements aren't going to point and laugh at you if you say something you've never said before! If what you're saying or doing is supportive of them, on the off-chance they notice that this behavior is entirely new to you, they're much more likely to just be pleasantly surprised and embrace it!

I'm not going to suggest that no one has ever been judged too harshly for going into something with good intentions and getting it a bit wrong. If you say something you mean to be supportive and it ends up being a bit insensitive, someone will probably say something to you.

The trick is, don't use that as an excuse to quit trying.

Think on what has been said and use it to better yourself and your support methods.

This isn't just about big actions.

While doing things like donating to individuals or charities, attending protests, and volunteering are all great things to do to help certain communities, these aren't the only way you can support marginalized groups.

You can also:

Research something about their heritage or history in order to be more competent in related discussions (just don't use this knowledge to talk over that group)

Wear a pin or sticker stating your alliance

Ask friends outright if there are any things you do or say that they feel you need to work on not doing anymore

Ask friends outright if there are any things you don't do or say that they feel you need to work on doing more

Make an effort to swallow feelings of guilt and self-loathing in the face of constructive criticism (It's okay to feel bad, but don't force someone else to put in the emotional labor of making you feel better about your own ignorance or mistakes. You need to do this work yourself.)

Make sure you understand the actual needs of the group you want to support. Do this by asking, researching, and listening, not by guessing, assuming, or getting that information from people outside of the group you're trying to support.

If you feel you don't understand the overall perspective or experience of a group, take the initiative and research. You can do this very effectively by looking up things online or even by reading books by authors from those groups about their own experiences or experiences of characters meant to model their own experiences. Reading things written from the perspective of the group you want to support is a great way to jump-start empathy instead of just compassion (which is also valuable, and not the same thing)

Keep in mind that improving your actions toward a group may increase the level of social responsibility you get.

This is important to keep in mind because, if you have a friend who suddenly starts acting differently around you, you might think you've done something wrong or they've changed when, in fact, they've just started trusting you more and allowing you to participate in parts of their life or emotions that you didn't have access to before.

As a disabled person, if I have a friend who shows understanding for disabled issues, I am much more likely to openly discuss my experiences with them, be honest about my reasons for being able to do or not do something, and so on.

To use disability as an example, if you suddenly start showing more support and knowledge of disability issues, you may find that one of your friends suddenly cancels plans more often, or even just switches their cancellation excuse from, "something came up" to "I'm having a flare-up."

I cannot be clear enough that this is a good thing!

If your friend is canceling plans more often but there is otherwise no sign of negative trouble in your relationship, it's a very good chance that that friend is just feeling a lot more secure that you will understand why they just aren't up to something. Instead of pushing themself to overdo it and hurt themself because they're afraid you won't understand their cancellation, they're being honest with you about their limits because they trust you.

If they were lying to you before, or being vague about their reasoning for cancellations, it's not personal. It's just that so many people don't understand and don't care to be understanding of the disabled experience. Countless friends are lost over daring to ask for understanding and accommodation. So we just stop doing it. Many of us find it easier to simply hide the parts of our lives that are too difficult for many abled people to understand or allow. And this is true of many, many marginalized people.

So, if you want to be supportive of a marginalized group but are afraid of doing it wrong, this is your sign to

do it scared!

You're not just performing by taking the steps to be a better and more supportive person!! Performative allies are those who say they're supportive and don't take the steps to actually actively support people!

#disability #disabled #actually disabled #adhd #pots #eds #fibro #fibromyalgia #queer #psa #advice #marginalized communities #chronic pain #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqi #lgbtqia #trans #do it scared

[ghostonly]

The Western Christian Understanding of Israel

So, there's something I haven't seen much said about and I wanted to address it briefly. But, first, I want to be absolutely clear that this post is not condoning or excusing what I'm writing about. It's simply to shed some light on something I think a lot of people may be unaware of.

So, I grew up in a baptist household and was taught pretty much everything you would expect from one. One thing I was taught was to support Israel.

I hope it's obvious I don't anymore, but it doesn't hurt to be clear.

Anyway, supporting Israel is something that's taught in, I would guess, just about every conservative Christian household in America, or close to it. And in their churches. This isn't purely family politics; it's church politics. The American Christian church (meaning, like, "the church" - all of the American Christians collectively) is in support of Israel. This you may know. But this isn't about the collective, this is about how it spreads on a smaller scale.

I was taught from a young age to support Israel, not through direct communication, but through hearing the adults in my life talk about it. This included at church, where it was more explicitly referenced and spoken of with respect and admiration. It was called the holy land, it was spoken of as basically the most revered land in the world, because it's, you know, God's Holy Land. And the Jews are the ones who belong there. That's what the Bible says. So, that is what was preached to us.

There was never ANY mention of government. Everything was spoken of in the abstract. Jews belong there, they have to reclaim it because the land has been stolen, etc etc. It was honestly not something I could reasonably differentiate from biblical lore as a child.

I think this inability to recognize Israel as a real and modern country with real and modern politics is something that continues on for many people into adulthood, especially those who stay away from current events and news (which is a HUGE amount of Christians, because "news is a constant stream of negative secularism that we don't need to expose ourselves to")

So, what I'm saying is, an absolutely massive number of Americans - pretty much anyone who was raised particularly Christian and who hasn't Gotten Out of the Bubble (which can also mean those who are no longer practicing but haven't made any effort to find new circles or challenge their views on the world) - is going to view Israel as a holy place made up entirely of Jews - and obviously, we support the Jews. Duh.

So what you end up having is, a huge chunk of people with this very vague, biblical understanding of what Israel is, who want to blindly support "The Land of the Jews" - especially after the holocaust - and they're very particularly susceptible to propaganda about this. If anyone even suggests that the Israelis (read: Jews in the Holy Land) are under attack or are being prevented from land that is, by God's Word, theirs) it is not going to be looked upon with favor. It is going to translate to anyone raised like this, who isn't keeping up with current events online (which is a lot more people than you think) as: The Jews Are Being Attacked Again (And in the Promised Land No Less)

And then you can go ahead and just factor in the ungodly amount of racist propaganda that has been fed to all Americans about middle-easterners. You end up with the perfect cocktail. A bunch of brown people are attacking the poor Jews in God's Holy Land. Sounds fucking terrible, doesn't it?

The reason I want to explain this is because I think it would really empower people to make stronger arguments in favor of Palestine if they understand that a lot of the pro-Israel people in their offline lives are supporting Israel from a good place. A lot of them think they're supporting an oppressed minority. They hear about the bombing of the music festival and they immediately think this is an attempt at a second holocaust and they don't look any further into it than what their local news station has to offer - which, you know, is probably a crock of propaganda laden shit.

So, if you know people irl who are saying that they're pro-Israel, it might be more beneficial to inquire a bit about what they actually know before laying into them with accusations. You may find a few resources and an understanding explanation is a lot more effective at winning more allies. People are a lot more receptive when they're being reached out to in good faith, on a 1-on-1 human level (and not at the dinner table, I'm begging you).

I know it's hard to be patient right now and I know it's hard to have good-faith interactions with people who you feel should have already been properly educated on this topic, but I also promise you that if you come in, guns blazing, accusing someone of supporting genocide, they are going to immediately stop listening and dig their heels in, regardless of whether they would have listened and understood, given the right opportunities to learn.

And no, this does not apply to people yelling on the internet who are already knee deep in online political warfare. I'm talking about your Aunt Sarah who doesn't know anything political outside of who the current president is and is just repeating things she thinks are good because her pastor said them. You know the people I mean.

Please also remember that there are a lot of people vocally calling those who are anti-Israel antisemites. If you know someone who is only just slightly "online", they probably have seen this and used it as a cornerstone of their continued support of Israel. It is a strong fear-based reinforcement of their existing understanding of events. I mean, the last thing "good people" want to be is "one of those neo-nazis." They adopt this understanding of what it means to be pro-Palestine without question. If you're pro-Palestine, it means you're antisemitic. They're not antisemitic, therefore, they are not pro-Palestine.

If you want to help them understand the reality of the situation, I think it would be extremely helpful to remember, in your sources, to include a lot of content outlining just how many Jews are speaking out against the actions of the Israeli government. Make sure to give them that understanding that the Israeli government and Jews as a collective are not synonymous. The Israeli government is not the formal representative of all things Jewish and Good. Being able to bring their understanding of Israel into a modern framework, rather than a biblical one, will be a great starting point.

Do your best, and good luck. #freepalestine

#freepalestine #free palestine #palestine #israel #current events #news #psa #pretty much everything capitalized in a christian way is done for effect #not because i do that generally

[ghostonly]

im so fucking disappointed in this season it's hard to put into words.

Something that I am trying to come to terms with about OFMD S2 is that it's not the show I thought it was.

I've seen some folks say things like "it was supposed to be kind" and I don't think I agree, because it was supposed to be whatever the creators wanted it to be.

But it was a celebration of queer joy.

And now it isn't.

S1 celebrated love. It celebrated being vulnerable with someone who sees you. It celebrated community and finding your place with others like yourself.

In S2, the last holdout against that community and love and vulnerability finally accepted it only to die. And many people in the fandom mourn that loss.

The queer joy of S1 is generally gone.

It's fine if you find S2 full of joy. It's fine if you see Izzy's death as a good and/or necessary thing. I'm glad you have that satisfaction. This post isn't for you.

For me, coming to terms with what the show is after S2 is a big job. And not one I expected to be doing. Not one I enjoy doing, either.

I can't fault the creators for telling the story they wanted to tell. If they always meant for Izzy to die, well, it's their story to do what they want.

But it robs the show of the joy that pervaded S1. It makes it into something else. And that's a difficult loss to reconcile.