#(thats not going to bed at 10 i still have to cook and eat dinner)

[gothwizardmagic]

the inherent deliciousness of not having to set an alarm

#i had like a month solid of both early morning appointments and late evening classes #ie; getting HOME at 10 and getting up at 7 #(thats not going to bed at 10 i still have to cook and eat dinner) #so the BLISS of returning to my usual schedule of nothing but afternoon/evening work/classes... effervescent..... #i finished at 9 tonight and i do not have to go fucking ANYWHERE in the AM tomorrow

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for leaving my roommate to “fend for himself”?

🍙 - to find this later

i’ve been living with my roommate and boyfriend in an apartment for 2 years (all men in our mid 20s). when we first started living together we would cook, but recently i personally haven’t had the energy to cook much, and it’s a rare occurrence for the other two as well so we end up ordering food a lot (i know, waste of money but we’re all employed adults).

we usually order our meals together & rotate who pays when we do order food. in the last year bf has been working the graveyard shift so he sleeps during the day. roommate has a job that begins early in the morning so he goes to sleep early, around the time bf has to get up for work. i work a hybrid desk job and have been starting up my meds again which make me sleepy, so i usually take a nap in bed with my boyfriend after work if i’m home.

all this to say that recently our mealtimes have been disjointed and we end up missing each other more than not.

the part where me & my boyfriend may be be assholes is: if we wake up and roommate is sleeping, we’ll order in food for ourselves (usually bf has to either take it with him to work or he’ll eat it when he gets back from work). roommate will sometimes order in food for himself when this happens (and sometimes will do so even if it doesn’t) and thats fine with us, but recently he made a comment about us basically “leaving him to fend for himself” when this happens.

to be clear- the shared meals is a courtesy thing bc i didn’t want to feel guilty if we ordered food in as a couple & my roommate had to fend for himself (i’ve mostly gotten over this since he’s a grown man who can take care of himself, but some guilt is still there ngl) we are all aware of this mutual agreement.

for add. context, before he got this current job few months ago, roommate worked an hour a week min wage and was on disability that covered his base living expenses, so he was pretty broke all the time (now he works 4-5 days a week for 6-10 hour days).

during this time bf and i would cover most of the meals (5-6/7 days a week) and have never asked to be paid back since we just considered the times he’s provided meals as equal payment (usually cheaper meals like pizza, when bf and i order in meals that are a bit more substantial).

when he made the fending for himself comment, he also mentioned that he was pretty broke lately because he had to get his dog groomed (but also left out that he spent $200 on trading cards at the beginning of the month, (he’s a grown adult that can spend his money on what he wants (but that also means that his financial state is not my responsibility))

that recent comment put a bad taste in my mouth, and i’m feeling a bit petty so i’m just waiting for him to go to bed before ordering dinner today. (i feel like im at least JAH for this).

bf and i are moving out soon due to misc issues with the apartment so this won’t matter soon but i just wanna know:

AITA?

(also usually when i see super long aita submissions im like damn u can’t condense this a bit?? but now i’ve fallen victim to the very thing i criticized, sorry ppl i unfairly judged)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[michael-aftons-nonbinary-lover]

Could you provide us with a few sweet CC and Gregory fluff headcanons? (platonic ofc) <3

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER, OMFG

So, my idea for how C.C. would be there in the first place isn't really fully formed bc I hadn't really thought about it, but that's ok! I'll just wing it and have fun!

Probably there bc Cassidy got tired of torturing William, but doesn't want other kids getting hurt, so he goes to make sure they're ok

I personally think that C.C. would be anywhere from 9-11, and since Gregory is canonically 10-12, they would be close in age

They accidentally met while Gregory was hiding from one of the animatronics

Gregory runs into a hidden room, probably a very closed off and/or secluded one thats very hard, near impossible, for adults to get into, and completely off the animatronics radar

It was probably made/found by some teenagers, and they tell stories about the room, and how haunted it is so that none of the kids go in the room or tell anyone about it, and they can keep their hangout room for when they have siblings, cousins, ect that have parties they find boring

Since it's rarely ever used by anyone but teenagers, that's the room where C.C. has decided to stay, since it's quiet and he doesn't like big crowds of people

Gregory sees the kid and asks if he's lost and needs help too

Completely shocked to find out that his new found friend has already passed, but wants to be friends either way

They pass hiding time by sharing interests and find out that they both like plushies and video games(of course, very different video games, but still, video games all the same)

C.C. sees Freddy and freaks out, but Gregory comforts and reassures his new friend and C.C. eventually becomes friends with Freddy as well

Freddy swears to protect both boys to the best of his ability, even if it means risking his sentient-animatronic life for them

When they get to the Daycare, C.C. finds he can't make physical contact with the generators, but he can distract Moon/MoonDrop while Gregory puts things back in order

They both get banned:(

Using the knowledge that C.C. can be seen but not hurt by animatronics, he distracts them while Gregory gets shit done. They get out of the Pizzaplex much faster than either one of them originally thought

These boys fill Freddy's stomach to the BRIM with plushies and toys of all kinds before they leave

C.C. finds out that Gregory is homeless and is NOT letting that slide. They all go back to the old Afton house, where they find Mike. Mike and C.C. go through a lot of emotional stuff, but they've got it worked out by dinner time, and Michael is also re-fathering them both now. Also, the boys get bunk-beds, and get to introduce each other to their favorite video games, books, foods, candy, and basically everything else

All in all, I think Gregory and C.C. would be best friends. Gregory would never let anyone bully C.C. and C.C. would protect Gregory from his dad, other kids, ect. They would also definitely find ways to cheer each other up.

They have a secret handshake and a friendship dance

Water balloon fights, pillow fights, and food fights all become a regular occurrence, once C.C. learns how to interact with physical objects

Mike gets them a trampoline because he can, and they have the best time on it

He also builds them a treehouse

Glamrock Freddy reads them bedtime stories

Michael teaches all three of them how to cook and bake, because he remembers that C.C. loved being able to help him

(For sake of the food headcanons, pretend that ghosts can eat:/)

They play Mario Kart and C.C. wipes the floor with Gregory

Michael beats them both at Super Smash Bros

Gregory is best at Pokémon though, no one ever beats him

Overall, 11/10 besties, would protect with my life

#michael afton #fnaf security breach #security breach spoilers #fnaf fandom #crying child fnaf #gregory fnaf #glamrock freddy #dad mike lol #fnaf headcanons

[double-hoe-seven]

AFC Richmond as boyfriends

Here’s a lil headcanon collection of our favorite himbos as boyfriends.

I did it again for the staff (: AFC Richmond Staff as partners

A/N: Definitely didn’t put everyone but these were my top ones and it’s 2 AM so imma leave it here.

Sam Obisanya

The absolute sweetest man you have ever met

Such a softie, very concerned about making sure you’re happy and comfortable with whatever choices you make together.

He always picks the most random times to surprise you with things; showing up at your work randomly for lunch or with coffee/tea, random little souvenirs from his away games.

He’s always putting himself second and sometimes you have to remind him “hey, babe, you can do things for yourself, you deserve nice things too.”

Just, compliments galore with him. He’ll always find a way to compliment you on something.

The most cuddly person ever, he loves public affection (hand holding, piggy backing, hugging, kissing if it’s not raunchy, etc), he really just likes showing you off because he feels like the luckiest man in the world to have you.

He takes his time with your relationship, letting it bloom and grow at it’s own pace.

There aren’t many fights between you, hardly ever, the last “fight” you had was because you couldn’t unanimously decide which dog to rescue. The solution? You adopted both, now you share a one-eyed Jack Russell Terrier named Starro and a three legged German Shepherd puppy named Harry (Pawter. He was so proud at his pun when he showed you the then 3-month old puppy.)

Again, just the sweetest, more romantic man you’ve ever met and ever will meet.

thesexisgoodtoo. hesaverygentleandgivinglover

Isaac McAdoo

Man’s stubborn.

I mean it, he is as stubborn as a mule.

I’M DEAD SERIOUS, he once pouted for 5 days when you accidentally ate the last Rolo in the flat.

But he’s also romantic in a sort of rugged way?

He won’t go shopping with you but he knows what colors look best on you, he knows what styles look good on you, and he has your sizes and shades memorized.

Bear.

Mr. sometimes-crank-teddy-bear over here.

He’ll say he doesn’t want something but he will eat half of your food if given the chance. If you step away from your food to get a drink or something, there will be a good part mission when you get back.

Its a tradition to go on a date the morning of a game, and snuggle up with a movie after the game.

You have had more than a few drunk texts from him, all of them equally funny and full of sexual innuendos.

You don’t address his Rolo addiction. It could be something much worse anyway.

Richard Montlaur

So many visits to the goat farm he was raised on!

He really has to drag you back to London after visiting his parents because you don’t want to leave all the precious goats (and you and his parents get along famously).

You spend alternating holidays with each others families (except for Bastille day, you always spend that either together or with his family.)

There are always roses in your shared flat.

It’s a constant battle over his facial hair.

He has a grudge against the way the English make French pastries.

He has a habit of falling asleep on the couch or in uncomfortable positions and then wondering why his back or neck hurts.

Little spoon.

He’s teaching you French.

This man is a smooth operator, master at flirtation and romance. He’s good at planning romantic dates and outtings.

Dani Rojas

You 100% believe his mom when she says he was born caffeinated.

One of your first dates was a Mumford and Sons concert which was an interesting experience.

Soft boi hours with him. He’s a lil puppy dog.

Does this man ever sleep? Rarely.

He rises with the son and wants to get the day started immediately but he’s mostly letting you sleep in now.

He LOVES trying new things, exploring new places, generally having new experiences.

His absolute favorite thing to do when he’s not training is playing football (or any game, really) with the kids in your neighborhood. They all love him.

He’s a sweet boyfriend, not as sweet as Sam but he’s a close second.

You alternate who plans date night. You split the chores 50/50 but divvy it up if one of you is sick or has more work to do.

There’s so much alcohol in your flat its unreal.

You usually go to sleep before him but he has a bad habit of throwing himself into bed and partially waking you.

He makes the best breakfast most mornings.

And don’t forget the trips back home to visit his family in Guadalajara.

After a long day of training, he loves just laying down with his head on your lap while you run your fingers through his hair.

Jamie Tartt (Season 1)

FUCK NO

Jamie Tartt (Season 2)

On your first date you got drunk and bonded over shitty fathers.

Not that either of you really remembered the next day, you were both too hungover to immediately recall the night.

His love language is kind words.

At the start he needed a lot of reassuring that you did care about him for who he was, warts and all.

He’s slightly awkward when it comes to romantic gestures so most of the date planning falls on you don’t mind.

He still has some high maintenance behavior but he’s working on it and you’re proud of how far he’s come from the prick he used to be.

Your fights are usually over petty shit like where to eat for dinner or what movie to go see.

He will not hesitate to buy your feminine products for you. He knows your preferred brands and sizes and what treats you like when its that time.

He’s good at those rigged carnival games, the many little stuffed animals in your closet can attest to that.

He talks in his sleep. It’s all nonsense.

He has a soft spot for the neighbor’s cat (and cats in general).

Roy Kent

Rugged.

He’s great to snuggle up to.

The man is honest to boot. He doesn’t sugar coat anything at all.

10/10 times he will go down on you if asked. He’s a giver.

He is the heaviest sleeper in the world. You don’t know why he bothers setting alarms.

Phoebe has a room at your flat and spends so much time with you both.

Many nights have been spent reading different books on the couch together.

He has to clean the drains since 75% of it is his.

Fuck is a very versatile word in your home, used daily.

Not the most romantic man alive but he has his moments.

Date nights are usually relaxed and proper but sometimes you can make the old man have a little fun.

He growls at least a dozen times a day, it’s his main response.

Jan Maas

My beloved

My sweet, beloved Jan who can’t/won’t use a filter to save his life.

He’s blunt in everything and sometimes it makes you want to slap him.

Jan is still getting used to English ways and mannerisms.

He has good intentions but sometimes needs a little help with wording.

He likes going on Aquarium dates.

The more tired he is, the clingier he is and it’s too cute.

Once after a game he plopped onto the couch next to you and basically tried to curl up in your lap.

He can make amazing pancakes.

Thats it though.

You’ll do most of the cooking if you value living in a flat that’s not on fire.

He’s a sweetheart though.

Mostly good intentions though.

Doesn’t mind nudity and had to quickly be reined in by the team. Not at home though.

At home he can easily be found lounging in boxers and a t-shirt while he sips coffee.

He knows what he’s doing.

Tag Team: @bdffkierenwalker​

#Ted Lasso #Jan Maas #Isaac McAdoo #Dani Rojas #Roy Kent #Jamie Tartt #Sam Obisanya #Richard Montlaur #AFC Richmond Himbos #AFC Richmond #AFC Richmond Greyhounds #Emotional Support Himbos #I love them all your honor #Jan Maas my beloved #Sam Obisanya is baby

[meloswifeyyy]

Relationship Alphabet

A - Attitude

Who often has the worst Attitude ?

Well, you obviously. Most of the time because you are hungry or you and Melo just got out of an argument. Melo usually fucks the attitude out of you anywhere, anytime tho.

B - Baby

Who wants Babies the most - first ?

Melo. He often jokes about having kids or when you are having sex he would whisper in your ear  “You trynna have my babies?” or  “You boutta have my babies ” when he nuts in you. He says that he wants 3 or more. You only want 2. You arent rushing into it.

C - Crying 

Who Cries the most in the relationship ?

You. You often cry alone when you miss Melo when he is at away games for so long. Or when your BP triggers, Melo would comfort you. When watching sad movies, or when someone you love dies. Tears of joys appear here and there. Or when you get into arguments and Melo says something wrong or disrespectful out of madness.

D - Dates 

Who has the best Date spots ?

Melo. He would often take you to fancy restaurants in L.A or Miami, or wherever you guys went. Or take you shopping at an expensive place. He would do dates at home like watching movies, have you cook dinner because he cant cook for shit, or he would have a bath waiting on you. 

E - Eat 

Who Eats the most ?   

You. You know damn well you cant survive without food. Its the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to you besides life and Melo. Cant even survive a night. If you would wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry and go to kitchen and try to sneak some food without waking Melo up, he would hear it and go to the kitchen and scare you, picking you up over his shoulder with one arm, and with the other putting the food away carrying you back to the bed because its a little to early in the morning to be eating. 

F - Freak 

Who is the Freakiest ?  

Both of you. You being the only girl that can fuck Melo like you do, and being the only girl Melo is sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to no other girl can do it like you.10/10 in bed. Now Melo on the other hand is a demon in bed. His strokes, hitting your G - Spot constantly with you feeling it in your guts. His 9 inch is almost  always on hard when he is around you. And his tongue is crazy, going in and out and on the pearl AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy right. Spelling his name out on you. He loves when you scratch his back up or give him hickeys everywhere. 10000/10. Makeup sex is the best. 

G - Games 

Who wins the most games ?  

Melo. He would always dare you to a game of Call of Duty or Fortnite to see who would win first. And he would always win. When you would play a game of Uno you would often win and he would be mad the rest of the day due to his competitiveness. But any other game he would win.

H - Happy

Who is the Happiest in the relationship ?  

Both of you. You are always happy when you guys are around each other. Even when you guys just got done arguing you are still happy that he is in your presence. Melo on the other hand is always happy with you around him, he loves to cuddle with you. Its one of his favorite thing to do. He just loves that you are in his presence. You are his other half.

I - Irreplaceable

Who is the most Irreplaceable ?  

You would say Melo but Melo would say you. Melo knows how to deal with you more than anyone else does. He knows all your spots and what you like and dont like. He notices all of your flaws and sees the good and beautiful in them. He knows your body, mind, and soul. No man has a better or brighter or bigger smile than him. He always brightens the mood. You on the other hand are different. A big beautiful smile. You know how to deal with Melo when he is sad, looses a game. You can tell when he is lying or telling the truth just by looking through his eyes. You know how to make him happy. You are the best he has ever had.

J - Jaded 

Who gets the most Jaded after doing something ?

Melo. He usually gets really bored after sitting in the house all day. He really wants to leave the house and do something fun but usually its night time and you would be taking a nap or would be sleep. 

K - Kisses

Who gives the most kisses?

Melo. He is always so clingy and that comes with all the kisses in the world. He kisses you all over your face in your sleep, even when you are sleep he gives you kisses. He loves to kiss all over your body.

L - Love

Who fell in love the fastest?

Melo. He had always had a crush on you and everyone knew you were the one for him. You just didn’t know it until you two started dating. He’s always making sure you are good. He loves your hugs. He was the first one to say “I love you”. He want kids you to have all 10 of his kids.

M - Motivation

Who gives the most motivation?

You. When melo is going to a game and is not having a good feeling about it you motivate him to push through it and win for you. 9/10 he will win or get a lot of points for you.

N - Night Owl

Who is more of a Night Owl?

Both of you. Sometimes when his ADHD is on 10 you guys stay up and listen to music, play games, go on ig live, or just fuck for 7 hours straight. Sometimes you have to tell him to got to sleep or put him to sleep (😏) because he has a game tomorrow and needs all the rest and energy he can get. It also the same for you.

O - Oral Sex

Who gives Oral Sex the most?

Melo. Trust me, you give him head a lot and it’s amazing, 10/10. But melo loves giving you head. He loves to spell his name out on you. Loves to see the faces to make you scream and shout. Loves sharing your cream with you (🥲). He loves to climb under the blanket while you are sleep for some breakfast in bed. Maybe even dinner. His lips make it even better. So glad he don’t got them white genes in his lips (😋😭).

P - Perfect

Whos perfect?

Obviously, no ones perfect but God (🙏🏾). But in your eyes no one else is better for you except melo. You couldnt imagine living life without him. Cant imagine what anyones elses kids would look like with you but. No relationship is perfect. Melo sees you as perfect. Your body. Your style. Your personality. He absolutely loves your touch. He loves touch but for you loving your touch is an understatement. He couldnt imagine his kids with anyone else but you. Cant imagine getting married with anyone else. When you guys get into arguments and sleep in seperate rooms. You barely get sleep because all you can think about is each other. How perfect you guys are for one another.

Q - Q? (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

R - Relate

What traits do you guys have a like each other?

A lot. Both of your favorite food is Chicken tacos. You both love a good game of Uno. You both love sex. Duhh. Both of you guy’s love language is touch. Love playing fortnite together. Love listening to music and taking drives together. Both love lil uzi (we pretending yall💀). Just in general you guys are very alike.

S - Sex

(No question for this one lol. Y’all already know how we is round hea nahhmeannn😭)

The sex. Omgggg. The first time you and melo had sex was. So amazing. Can’t ever forget that moment. Melo is always so horny. Morning sex is the best. Sometimes a little top at the red light can turn into a few rounds in back of the McDonalds parking lot. Lucky enough all his windows tinted as hell. Or in the Victoria’s Secret fitting rooms. You guys could be listening to Chris Brown and he would really take you down, fuck you back to sleep, switch up the tempo, or make you wet the bed (i’m laughing hard ash). The hickeys. The high sex. Drunk sex (drunnnnkkk in lovvveee). Car sex. Balcony sex. All over the house sex ( i got bars.) Mad sex and Make up sex. I could go on. Sex with me so amazinggggg. (i was listening to this song while writing this one💀😫😫😫)

T - Trips

Who likes taking trips internationally?

Melo. He love to take you and a yearly or even monthly vacay. Just you and him. Turks and Caicos. Bora Bora. Jamaica. Iceland. Japan. Africa. Anywhere where you can get away from the world. The different places. The hotels. Being able to fuck anywhere and everywhere. The pools. The different air. (united states ait is so boring). The new food. The animals. You guys love the new places. He loves to see you happy and with a smile on your face.

U - U (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

V - V (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it again.)

W - Right the Wrongs

Who rights their wrongs after an argument?

Usually it would be you first. If you said something that was out of pocket or melo didnt like you woukd quickly apologize. He would forgive you and still cuddle and kiss you and stuff because thats what he does. Tease you. But he would ignore you until he actually forgave you in his head. Melo would apologize and give you some bomb ass d for and apology. Or make that cute face that you can’t resist.

X - (Can’t find a word for X. Give me a suggestion and i will edit it)

Y - Young

Who acts like a Young ass child?

Both of you actually. That’s what makes you love each other the most. The laughs and jokes, the tv shows, everything you could think of. It’s nothing wrong with it at all. Y’all are always gonna bust a joke out at the right time. Maybe sometimes even the wrong time. (damn, double homicide). You guys love laughing with each other.

Z - ZZZ

Who has the worst sleeping habits?

Probably Melo. If you scooted over him even a little bit, he would probably scoot back closer to you or pull you back over to him. And the only con of that is he snores a lot. (Why this nigga snore with his mouth open?🤨💀). Sometimes if he was awake and you werent he would kiss all over you. He loves to lay on your 🍒.

Y’all welcome. I haven’t pose the one of these in a minute. This took me a whole month and a half. I’m tired as hell. 💀

#lamelo ball #melo imagine #lamelo imagine

[imma-potatoo]

Im not sure if you take requests but if you do can I please have some angsty janus HC? if not im sorry for bothering you. have a nice day!

First of all, you aren't bothering me, I love it when people ask about my headcanons. And secondly, *shocked* I'm being ASKED to share my angst?!

We're gonna be here for a while

He picks/scratches at his skin,

he doesn't really know why he does it, but he often spends full nights scratching his arms, chest, and legs. But NEVER at his neck or face, the other sides can see that. It's normally targeted at his scaled half, but he does scratch at the human side too

The scratches typically run very deep, there's a lot of blood, and Janus doesn't always have access to a medkit

Janus is the youngest out of all the sides, around 21-24, but he never really got to have the full childhood that he was supposed to

Virgil is the oldest of the sides, and when they were younger he was around a lot, basically playing mother hen. But once Janus turned 10 or so, Virgil stopped spending as much time with him and Remus

So Janus had to grow up quick. He learned how to cook (not very well, but food is food), spent most of his time reeling Remus in (who is around 15 at this time), and delivering food to Virgil's door, trying to get him to come out

At the end of the day, Janus was too tired to play, read, or do anything really. He just went to bed.

So young Janus' schedule was;

wake up, make Remus/Virgil food, force Remus to eat the food, attempt to keep the house from a disaster fire from Remus, make lunch, talk to Virgil through his door, more babysitting of Remus, make dinner, send Remus to bed, clean up, go to sleep

Hardly time for playing in there

To this day, if you hand him a toy, he'll simply stare at you with wide eyes

Janus can tell when people tell lies

They don't taste nice or anything, he can't even taste them at all. The lies are revealed with a sharp stabbing pain to his chest

Similar to a heart attack.. But worse.. So much worse.

Imagine if you took a long knife, and stabbed it repeatedly, over and over for hours, breathing faulting, and the entire room starts to spin. It hurts

Now imagine that you have to keep a straight face during this pain or get strange looks and get told you're faking

Janus has gotten a little too used to that stabbing pain

Everytime that Janus stumbled in SvS? That was him trying to hide the pain

The dark side is cold, really cold, like Canadian winter cold. But the darks don't have central heating

It's sadly very common for Remus to find Janus passed out, near hypothermic, in random places in their own home

The dark sides home is... a lot less pleasant then someone would prefer. It looks like a prison with concrete walls and floors, bars cover the windows, and the backyard is completely fenced in with 15ft+ high fences.

The sides rooms move when Thomas is willing to accept that they're a part of him and that he needs to work with them

Remus' room moved back in DWIT, because Thomas accepted that he's there and that he can't get rid of him

Janus is still stuck in the dark. Thomas has given him a chance, but he's not completely accepted that he's needed yet

Janus can often be found passed out on the light side's couch, simply because his room is far too cold

Virgil almost always finds him first, he doesn't like Janus by any means, but he knows first hand that the dark half is cold, so he normally just throws a heated blanket over him and calls it a day

Janus is always gone before Virgil can talk to him

His shepards crook is actually a cane

He had to start using it right after Virgil left, Remus ran off to the imagination and Janus chased after him. He ended up getting cornered by a monster, and it punctured his knee almost clean through

Remus only found him because he was screaming so loud. Roman could hear it from his half of the imagination, but thought it was an animal and didn't bother to investigate

Even as an adult, his sleep schedule is horrible

He's coldblooded, makes the dark half so much worse

The closest thing that he's ever had for a friend (when he was younger) was Logan. They would watch documentaries together and talk about them for a bit

Those stopped when Janus had to take care of Remus

Remus is his friend now, but he still spends most of his time looking after him and making sure that he's eating (he tends to forget that he needs to eat)

Remus goes back to the dark half everyday to spend time with Janus

Janus is a really bad cook, he can make half burnt grilled cheese and pasta. Thats about it. It's not from lack of effort really

The other sides are genuinely concerned for his health and well-being. Everytime he shows up he seems paler, his eye bags are larger, and his clothes hang off of him

Janus doesn't actually believe them when they say that they want to help though

Janus gets maybe two hours of sleep daily

He spends the entirety of his free time trying to help Thomas

He would drink coffee to help him stay awake and productive, but he hates the taste of it

The others grow more and more concerned everytime he passes out. Which is a lot. Janus always brushes it off though

Logan is the only one who doesn't believe him

He remembers what Janus was like when they were younger, and it was NOTHING like how Janus acts now. They're completely different.

The Orange side made him show up and impersonate the other sides. The only time that he showed up willingly was in POF

He honestly doesn't know what he did to make Virgil hate him, nor does he know why Virgil locked himself away when he was 10

Janus is angry, he's angry that he had to grow up quickly, he's angry that Virgil abandoned him, he's angry that Remus needs to be constantly supervised, he's angry at Orange, he's angry at himself. He's angry. But doesn't have the energy to do anything

He cries himself to sleep a lot more then you would think

Touch starved. Completely touch starved. He breaks down completely when someone touches his wrist

You would think that self preservation would have better self care, but no. He's really bad at it. The closest he gets is getting 4 hours of sleep instead of the normal 2

Even after Remus left, he spends all of his time trying to help Thomas... Only to get pushed to the side

He normally completely forgets to eat food and only remembers when he's on the verge of passing out

He's gotten super good at makeup to hide the red streaks from crying so much

He loves snakes, but can't own one in the dark half because the temperature would put them in extreme pain or even kill it. Janus doesn't want to put the poor creature in suffering

The only toy he still has from childhood is a stuffed snake, but even that has had extreme mending

He sewed his entire outfit himself, and he was quite proud of it! Every time another side insults it, he withers a bit inside

The other sides have tried to stage an intervention so many times, but Janus can somehow avoid them everytime

He doesn't want their pity, because thats what he thinks it is, pity.

T r u s t I s s u e s

Lots of trust and abandonment issues

He has talked to Emile, but he has a hard time trusting him

Completely avoids Patton. Completely.

You can occasionally see him out of the corner of your eye in the common rooms, but the second you turn around he's gone

He's short as hell

His hair is like curly fries. Complete ringlets. But he hates them, hense the hat

He hates it when the others steal the hat

Everytime they insult his scales, he dies a little inside

Let me know if you want more :)

#Sanders sides #Janus sanders #sanders side headcannon #headcanons #Headcanon #Janus headcanon #Janus angst #logan sanders mention #virgil sanders mentioned #patton sanders mentioned #remus sanders mentioned #roman sanders mention #deceit sanders #Deceit angst #Tw injury #Tw angst #tw death mention #tw skin picking #tw scratches #tw bold text #tw unhealthy eating habits #tw bad habits #tw swearing #Ask to tag #tw abandonment

[starlight-writes-stuff]

hey! i sent in the ask for the party fic with ethan (which was so good holy shit) and i was hoping you could do the SFW alphabet for him? can I be ⚙️ anon, as well? (get it?)

⚙️anon (thats so clever ily for it) , welcome !! im sorry this took me forever , but here’s your sfw alphabet - this came so easy to me i spend too much time consuming ethan content - anyway ! i really hope you enjoy this ((: reblogs are always appreciated <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : soft , fluffy ethan content , no tws ! also , yall rockin with the new blog theme ⁉️

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

ethan is incredibly affectionate in all senses of the word- big gestures, small moments, and everything in between. he brings you flowers or food quite often, just something small to show you that you were on his mind while he was out and about. you two would have a designated date night once a week where he’d clear his schedule to spend quality time with you; either taking you out to dinner or cooking and watching movies at home with spencer. also, ethan would definitely go out of his way to do little things around the house to help you out - washing the dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry. however, ethan wouldn’t shy away from larger gestures of affection, either: he’d take you on surprise vacations or road trips for holidays or anniversaries. 

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

being ethan’s best friend would be so much fun. he’s definitely the kind of guy that would send you a text when he was 10 minutes away from your house because he was bored and wanted to go do something together. you’d never be bored around ethan- he can talk for hours, and would 100% know how to make you laugh, even if the two of you were just chilling on the couch. a friendship with ethan would be filled with adventures; concerts, midnight snack runs, campouts in the backyard and lots of fun with spencer. 

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

yes, 100%. thinking back to unus annus, ethan was a vvv touchy guy with mark, and i think that would only be amplified with his significant other- touch is one of his love languages, for sure. he’d be the type to always have some soft of physical connection; a hand on your thigh while he drives, mindlessly drawing patterns over your skin while your working, aways holding your hand in public type beat. if ethan wasn’t getting your attention when he wanted it he, would not hesitate to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you to the closest soft surface before plopping you down and wrapping you in his arms. i think he’s probably a fan of having you laying on your side, facing him so that he can hold you, but still see your face/ talk to you. he’d also love laying on your chest because he’s such a boob guy but that’s a conversation for another time ,,,,,

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

i think that if you and ethan were committed and had been dating for a while than he would absolutely want to settle down- but i feel like dating ethan would also include being around each other all the time (constant sleepovers while you aren't living together) so it wouldn’t be that drastic of a change. while he was living on his own, though, ethan obviously had to take care of himself, so he taught himself to cook and clean and do general, domestic tasks. i think he’d be a really good partner when it came to things around the house like that; ethan would always do his fair share and would pick up anything that you needed him to. 

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ethan just comes off as a very feeling, sensitive person (his brand is literally soft boy what do u expect), so i think breakups would be really hard for him. he wouldnt break up with his s/o until he was 10000000% positive that it as the right choice, and had thought through it multiple times. even then, it would rip his heart out to end things- he wouldn’t be afraid to show his emotions. ethan would definitely break up with whoever he was dating in person- he knows that he owes them that.

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

okay, this one is up in the air for me. i definitely feel like ethan would settle down with his person and be completely loyal to them- thats a no brainer. i just don’t know how he feels about marriage? i feel like ethan wants a life partner, i just dont know if he would marry them. (this could 1792049384% be my personal bias peeking through because i think marriage is fkn weird, but for some reason i think he would too ????? maybe thats just me)

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

ethan is just ,,,,, soft hearted, dude. he’s just gentle in general. i think emotionally he’s a total teddybear, and he feels all his emotions incredibly deep- he rules with his heart, for sure. he wants to make sure that everyone around him is happy, and if they arent, it would affect him more than he’d like to admit. physically, ethan can vary- like i said, he’s always touching you in some way, but i think he’d be down for getting a little rougher in bed when you guys want to. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

ethan is an envelope-the-whole-ass-person kinda hugger, hug-with-your-whole-body type deal. if you look at pictures from unus annus, even old old pictures from the tour he did w/ mark, ethan is always completely wrapped around someone, hugging them with everything in him. i think if his s/o was shorter, he’d love to stack his head on top of theirs, and if y’all were around the same height, he’d bury his face in your neck. he’s very huggy- when you’re out and about, he’s always hugging you from behind, pulling your body closer to his. i also think ethan would love koala hugs, where he was sitting and his s/o wraps their arms and legs around him- he’d sit like that forever, rubbing up and down your back.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

hhhhhhhhhh don't clock me for this one, yall- if ethan was feeling some type of way, he would tell you. i don't think the length of the relationship would matter as much to him as the intensity and depth of his feelings; if ethan really truly loved you and wanted to say it, he would. he’d definitely preface it with the fact that you didn’t have to say it back, that he just wanted to get it on the table and out of his head. 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

ethan would be very secure in his relationships, and i think it would take a lot to get him jealous. however, when he was,,,,,,,, it wouldnt be pretty. like, at all. if it was a situation where someone was hitting on his s/o, he wouldn’t step in until you’d already tried to get them to leave you alone- not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if he did, it would get ugly. when he did step in, he’d start by saying something (not kindly worded, but to the point), and if that didn’t work i don’t think ethan would be above getting physical- he’s extremely protective of you. 

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY SO THIS ONE’S GOIN IN BULLET POINTS , GANG

okay- ethan loves to kiss you. he just loves kisses- they feel so personal and intimate to him, and he kisses you all the time, everywhere

he’ll dip you and kiss you in the middle of the grocery store aisles, he dgaf

but i think his favorite spots for kissing you would be your forehead, your lips (duh), collarbones/shoulders, down your spine and on your inner thighs hngggggg

but it goes vice versa too

ethan wants ALL your kisses . all of them , everywhere

He’s such a sucker for you kissing his neck and you cant talk me out of that (:

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

cute. literally so cute. i think that ethan would love other people’s kids, but definitely doesn’t want any of his own- at least, not right now. however, with other people’s babies he is S O F T; he loves to hold them, and would absolutely offer to try and calm a crying baby down, rocking them and singing soft lullabies to calm their woes. i also think that he would LOVE toddler aged kiddos- like 3-6. he’d be cool uncle ethan, playing catch with them, taking them to the park, finding games to play and always letting them win. he’d totally try to teach them how to ride their bike, or how to do a cartwheel, or how to jump off the swings for maximum height. ethan would totally bring them a fun lunch at school or sneak the kid’s favorite candy over to them and eat it together in a secret spot.

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with ethan would be slow and lazy and filled with golden light filtering in through the blinds. if he woke up first, ethan would be as soft as humanly possible in order not to wake you up & would sneak downstairs to make coffee and start breakfast for the two of you, sometimes bringing it up to surprise you with breakfast in bed. the two of you would spend an hour (at minimum) in bed together, waking up and peppering each other with soft pecks all over. i think ethan would be extra soft™ in the mornings- he’d be super cuddly and affectionate. 

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights spent with ethan would always hold a sort of unexplainable magic- there’s something about the thought of falling asleep next to him thats just so… comforting? he’d be so warm and easy to fall asleep with, all soft and hazy and gentle; he’d fall asleep holding you as big spoon, but when y’all woke up he’d be wrapped in your arms, laying on your chest. also, if you were having a hard time falling asleep, ethan would stay up with you, talking through whatever was on your mind even if he was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think that ethan would open up more and more as the relationship progresses, going along with the natural advancement of things unless something happened that made it crucial for him to open up; if that did happen, though, you wouldn’t have to pry anything out of him. ethan is a pretty honest, open person and wants to be transparent with you always- trust is something that he values above all else and he wants to remain very truthful with you.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

ethan is incredibly patient and understanding- it would take a lot to truly upset him. sure, the two of you would get into little tiffs here and there about stupid things, but the small arguments would be resolved within the hour with lots of hugs and kisses and soft “im sorry”s. however, if yall managed to get into a big argument, i think it would take ethan a bit to calm down and he would want to put some space between you two while he did- not to anger you any further, but to make sure that he didn’t say anything he didn't mean. ethan has a bit of a temper while he’s angry, and he wouldn’t want to say anything just to hurt you out of anger. after he cooled off he would come back and be willing to re-examine whatever had caused the issue with fresh eyes. 

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

if you’ve watched ethan ever, you know that the sweet bby doesn’t remember shit (cue the instagram live thats purpose was to help him remember a word)- but listen. i think that ethan would go out of his way to hold on to little pieces of information about his s/o, and would put so much effort into trying to remember little details. he’d store them in his brain (things like your favorite flower, the brand of chocolate you like best, etc) and reference them when he needed. 

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

a couple moments would stick out to ethan - when y’all first met being his favorite. he’d remember every detail of the moment he was first introduced to you; what you were wearing, where you were, what y’all had been doing that night. it was something that he though about a lot, actually- he loved to reflect on the way you’d blushed as he’d introduced himself, how you’d hugged him at the end of the night. 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

ethan isn't possessive, but he is incredibly protective of you. he secretly hates whenever someone flirts with you, even if it’s strictly platonic- you're his s/o, and he doesn't want anyone thinking any different. like i said earlier (reference letter j), ethan wouldn’t be afraid to step in and put someone in their place of they were getting a little too friendly. he likes when you’re protective of him as well, even if its something very subtle to show that he’s spoken for, such as calling him a nickname or dropping a kiss on his cheek.

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

romantic ethan my belOVED- he would try so hard. ethan would plan surprises for you for weeks before they would unfold, even roping your family and friends into his schemes. He’d be so creative with date ideas too; picnics, art classes, different seasonal excursions around california. For bigger occasions like anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and all that, ethan wouldn’t hesitate to go bigger- i definitely think he would take you traveling. he wants to see the world with his love :,)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

ethan bites his nails, which is why he’d had you paint them- he’s trying to break the habit

he’s a very sweary human, but so are you; the only issue is he has no filter and accidentally swears in front of kids all the time lmao

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

eh. ethan is more particular about certain aspects of his appearance over others, but he’s generally well put together. he likes for his hair to look good, though- that’s the one thing that he’s picky about. 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

ethan is his own person and is able to function on his own, but the two of you have developed a sense of codependency with each other, like any couple does. he can’t see his life without you at all anymore, and would much rather have you around than not. the two of you have fallen into a flow together- you and him against the world. life is much easier when you have another person on your team, and he’s honored that he gets to play that role for you. 

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

(this may or may not be a lil hint to a fic i'm working on shshhshshhhhhhhh)

on the night unus annus ended, ethan was a wreck - rightfully so

he had a bit of an existential crisis , and started to spiral a bit

you were worried about him , and knew that he would just continue to get into his own head

so you got him out of bed

and took him on a v special date

thats all for now ;)

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

ethan wouldn't like smoking (nicotine), and if that was a habit that you were willing to budge on, he would really try to help you break it. 

overall, ethan is a very considerate and kind person, so someone that was rude or had a sense of entitlement just wouldn’t fit well with him.

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

ethan can’t fall asleep without background noise. his brain gets too loud when he’s just in bed in complete silence, for better or for worse; sometimes this leads to great video ideas or new concepts for the channel, but other times it just lead to him overthinking his life. when it was that kind of night, ethan would fall asleep to soft music or one of those white noise apps- then he became dependent on it to be able to fall asleep. something about filler noise managed to calm him right down and lull him to sleep, and he pays $5 a month for the premium version of his favorite white noise app.

#ethan #nestor #ethan nestor #ethannestor #ethan nestor fic #crankgameplays #crank gameplays #cranky crew #crankycrew #fic #blurb #headcannon #headcanon #alphabet #sfw #sfw alphabet #fluff #softboi #soft #request #ask #anon #⚙️ anon #thats it !! #love u drink water #starlight-writes-stuff

[iateyourdoggo-part2]

Chapter 4 (this chapter will probably be the sadist chapter and could be a smoll surprise at the end)

so im trying to make a chapter every 24 hrs... i think. so um thnx for reading my previous stories and pls enjoy this one!

key:

red = violence or de@th

orange = tw that arent violence (could be violent for u)

blue = able to read for everyone i hope

tw: violence (kidn@pping, @buse (slightly), r@pe (slightly, dw its not too much)), caps, de@th mention, siblings

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was only 1 day until Saika's mother came home and it was today, and Saika obviously wasn't excited for that. Saika went for a walk until she got dragged into an ally by a masked person and was knocked out. She felt her surroundings as she was being dragged away. She couldn't see anything though. The floor was cold and the room was dark.

Saika's blindfold was taken off and there stood an old man who looked like a huge creep. Duct tape was on her mouth and her hands were tied. The old man walked up to her and started to touch her legs seductively. Saika was powerless. She tried to prevent the man by keeping her legs shut and kicking him. The creep was mad. He put up his fists when the creep fell to the floor. It was Aori! Aori helped untie Saika and took the tape off her mouth. Saika jumped into Aori's arms and cried. Aori started to cry too. They both felt a huge amount of pain of one person who was hurt.

Other footsteps were heard, slowly coming towards them. A small figure stood at the entrance.

"S-Saika-chan!?" Kinako cried. Tears were already falling down her cheek and ran up to Saika.

Saika let go of Aori and hugged Kinako. They both were relieved that they both were safe. Kinako was small and vulnerable. Saika hated that and didn't want anyone to force themselves onto her. Saika wanted Kinako to be hers more desperately than ever to protect her. The two loosened the hug and were now inches away from eachother's faces. Both quickly let go and turned around blushing very hard.

"W-we should go now," Kinako suggested, "It's very cold now..."

Everyone left the place and was back in the sun. The sun warmed them up until they were satisfied. Saika went back home to see her mother is already there.

"WHERE WERE YOU?!" her mother screamed.

"I-I w-was k-kidnapped," Saika replied stuttering. She still was crying a bit and her eyes were red.

"This is why I told you to marry a man. You're too weak to fight men off. Girl's are not fighters either. That is a man's job. You're so weak you couldn't even bribe the man with money instead!"

"COULD YOU STOP CALLING ME WEAK?!" Saika cried. Her eyes were filled with more tears. Tears of anger.

She felt a pain on her cheek to realizing her mother had slapped her.

"YOU DARE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT? YOU ARE SUCH A DISGRACE TO BEING LADYLIKE AND DEFINITELY A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY!" her mother screamed back.

"I WAS KIDNAPPED! YOU CARE ABOUT THE FAMILY, MONEY AND MEN WAY MORE THAN YOUR OWN DAUGHTER! YOU DON'T EVEN SPEND TIME WITH HER YOU DON'T REALIZE SHE IS SO DISTANT FROM YOU!"

"I AM NOT DISTANT WE ARE PERFECTLY FINE!"

"THEN WHAT IS MY FAVOURITE COLOUR!" "HA! ARE YOU STUPID? IT'S PINK!"

"HAHA WRONG! IT'S YELLOW AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!"

"YELLOW IS A BOY'S COLOUR YOU DISGRACE! YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED INSTEAD OF YOUR FATHER!"

Saika's rage fell down by that last sentence. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Saika darling, I am very most sorry." her mother said, acting like nothing happened, "I have gotten a little non-ladylike. How silly of me!"

"W-what do you mean dad is dead?" Saika muttered.

"I-I.... um.. Don't worry! You can forget about him. He is already dead, and is the least successful of the family.", her mother replied calmly.

Saika stormed into her room went on her phone.

Kinako?

Hiya saika chan!

May I stay over your house for a bit?

of course!

Thank you!

get packed! i will meet u at the park!

Okay.

Saika got ready and packed her stuff. She walked downstairs and already saw a note on the kitchen bench.

Dear Saika,

I have left for a small break. I will be back and do not go anywhere.

Kind Regards,

Your mother.

Saika ignored it because she knew that her mother was going out to a fancy restaurant. Saika got to the park and saw Kinako again. Saika followed Kinako to her house and before they entered, Saika was warned.

"Be prepared, Saika. I promise you, it's not that bad but prepare. Your. Self."

Saika gulped and went inside. What she needed to prepare for wasn't really what she expected.

"I'm home!" Kinako called out.

A bunch of kids started running up to her and a commotion of loving siblings made Saika giggle a bit.

"Onee-chan! Who is that?" one of them asked.

"Kisaki! It's her date remember!!!" the other said which looked like the other boy's twin.

Saika blushed a bit.

"AHHHH! SHUSH!" Kinako blushed so hard.

After getting everyone under control, Kinako made dinner with Saika.

"Where do you want to sleep?" Kinako asked, "I don't have a spare room sorry!"

"D-do you think I can sleep with you?" Saika asked still blushing.

Kinako looked away from the cooking pot into Saika's eyes. She blushed again (so much blushing) and replied with a simple "Sure!".

Dinner was done and all the kids were done showering. They all finished eating and went to do their own things but Kai went to bed.

Kinako and Saika took turns to shower. Kinako showered first, then Saika. Kinako waited in her room staring at her ceiling fan. She replayed Saika asking to sleep with her. She was so inside her imaginations she didn't realize Saika was waving her hand infront of Kinako's face.

"Kiiiiiiinaaaaakoooooooooo!" Saika whispered.

"What are you doing...?" Kinako asked.

"Seeing if you were alive on earth and not in spce!"

The two giggled until talked until 11 pm. Kinako checked to make sure the kids were all asleep and went back to her room. Saika was already under the covers and Kinako went under. They fell asleep to facing each other's backs both having their dreams take over.

Kinako woke up to hear pictures being taken. She slowly opened her eyes to see all the kids at the door, with a phone, taking pictures of her.

"Why are you taking pictures?" She asked flatly.

They all pointed at Saika who was hugging the smaller person in her sleep. Kinako jaw dropped and was blushing once more.

All the kids snicker until Tsubaki said, "Time to get ready now guys!"

All the kids said "aww" and left.

Kinako giggled and faced back at Saika who was still dead asleep with her arms around Her. It was very warm and Kinako slept for 10 more minutes not wanting to wake Saika nor wanting to end it.

When Saika woke up, she felt a small tight person hugging her stomach and she was hugging the person back. She then realize who it was. (Y'all know I don't need to repeat uwu!) She was staring in shock and awe that she was closer to Kinako than she could ever imagine. Literately. She felt something weird on her chest. She looked down and I wonder what she saw... Kinako's chest upon Saika's. She was hotter now and was so wrapped in the soft touch of Kinako.

"Mmmmm... Saika." Kinako muttered in her sleep.

Saika was so red, she was as red as a rose. It was really awkward when they both got up together. 0.0

They made breakfast and pretended it didn't happen. Saika and Kinako chose to skip school today. Kinako asked Aori to pick up the kids from school.

Kinako and Saika were cuddling on a couch under a blanket. They were watching movies. Saika looked at Kinako who was glued to the movie. Kinako realized and looked back at Saika. They both were now an inch away from each other's faces. They started to slowly lean closer until they both felt a pair of soft lips on their faces. It was deep and passionate until they stopped for air. They stared into the other's eyes and then looked away madly blushing. Their gazes slowly went back to each other, about to kiss again when they heard something from the window. It was Aori and the other kids taking photos. They all went to hide behind the old shed in the backyard but Kinako was already there.

"I'm taking your phones away for a week." Kinako sad plainly, "You too Aori."

The kids, including Aori, gave their phones to Kinako. They all went inside and relaxed. Saika stayed at Kinako's house for a week.

She wasn't excited to go back. She wanted to stay with Kinako. She wanted to live with her. She wanted to be with her. But she couldn't because of her mother.

If Saika could choose to spend her life for 1 thing, it would be Kinako.

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And thats another chapter done! thanks for reading once more and sadly this story will end in a few more chapters :(

previous << Chapter 4 >> next

feel free to ask to be tagged in these in dms or ask!

@d4nkug0 @just-a-potterhead @ibukis-music-shop @ultimate-plushielover @godly-gummybear

#tw violence #tw death mention #tw kidnapping #tw abuse #tw siblings #tw caps #tw rape #just a little bit #chapter 4 #saika aiya #saika #kinako #kinako emiru #aori #aori hatsuki #sainako #kinaika #kinasai #saikin #kinsai #aimiru #aiyiru #miruya

[skinnyghosttears]

April 26, 2021

10:08 am

I realised 2 things this weekend.

1. The food is not worth all the tears I spent for it. Yeah I missed some flavours but I didnt see heaven when I ate them.

And 2. I cannot allow myself to take some "normal days" without planning all the food because I end with a >4000kcal binge and very miserable thoughts.

So since Im not doing all this for just going to bed wanting to k word myself because I cant control what I eat, I have to do cheat days when my parents are at home.

I feel so bad rn, even if my belly is less big and bloated. I planned almost all the week (I will maybe change a couple of meals if we'll go to the store soon because I dont have some safe foods at home but I will not add stupid stuff) and there is no day that reach 500kcal. If I crave something during the afternoon I have to push the feeling and allow myself to only eat a fruit. Thats it. I know my therapist will be really angry but what's the worst, me crying everytime Im alone or her for just one hour?

Also I will def not weight myself until I'll feel better so idk how much I'll weight in the next days. I have to feel hungry and with no energy again.

11:40 am

I finished to prepare the mushrooms for lunch, I will add those to my egg whites and maybe add some tomato sauce.

Idk if I'll exercise today since I had a little panic attack, Im feeling not so good so maybe I will just walk a little.

2:38 pm

Finished lunch, I got nausea from eating all the mushrooms, but I still finished what I had in my plate. I took a biscuit with the coffee because even with that the plan is still under 500. I totally forgot I already planned to eat an apple during the afternoon, and now I'll go out for a walk so I'll decide later if I will eat it or not. I will not eat it for sure after 6pm so I'll try to stay away from home until then. I feel so big but also full of water, so I hope to get rid of this bloated mass that is my belly in three days or something. I want to try a skirt when i'll govto the city for see my therapist, but I have to be back in my shape for that.

4:20 pm

Came back from the walk, burned 329kcal. Since I ate only 222kcal for lunch I see this as a win. I also found out that where I burned myself back on saturday there is an ugly blister and its right on my tattoo, so I'll consider this the punishment for the mess of this weekend.

7:44 pm

I ate the apple because I was craving something, but it was enough. I also prepared shrimps and green beans for dinner. When I have to cook stuff Im way more in control of food. Tomorrow I'll go with mom to the store so I'll be able to find some safe stuff and buy a lot of fruits 💗 (I mean I can go by myself but Im a jobless 25yo so if I go with her I will not spend my money :'))

10:18 pm

I allowed myself to drink a monster after dinner, I already finished it but maybe I will prepare some tea or at least drink more water before bed time.

I managed to stay under 500 today and Im really happy about it. Tomorrow will be hopefully the same (and if not, it will still be under 600).

11:01 pm

Looked in the mirror, I thought my belly was worse than this. Im full of water so maybe I will feel like before soon... I'll try to stick under 500kcal everyday until I'll be back under 60kg.

#ana #thinspiration #thinspo #thin #skinny #ed #cw disordered eating #eating problems #eating diary #eating disorder

[insidetheacademy]

Say You Love Me || v

pairings: peter parker x reader (both are 18+!)

summary: y/n settles down in paris and met a new friend! also peter has a surprise

warnings: wet dREAAAMS

gif credits: tomholandd

part i part ii part iii part iv part v

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the flight to Paris was okay except for a baby that was crying super loud. jeez, babies shouldnt be allow to travel you thought to yourself. after you had arrived, you went straight to this beautiful cottage that was apparently the company’s property. you said goodbye and thank you to the taxi driver and took a good look at the house infront of you. this is it, you’re gonna have to spend your time in this house for God knows how long.

you dragged your suitcase in and set it aside. you explored the interior of the house before going to the backyard. it was beautiful. there was a visible river and someone who used to lived here definitely took a good care of it since theres flowers and everything that you had seen in a fairytale. you werent gonna lie, you do feel like you’re a pauper. you took out your phone and captured the photo to upload to your Instagram. you captioned it “la vie en rose”, cliché but you had planned about taking photos and making your captions in french since you got on the airplane.

you head inside to take out all of your paintings essential. you felt inspired just by looking at the view there. you took one of the chair from the garden and sit down and started painting on your easel. you startled when you felt someone tapped your shoulder, you turned around and saw a tall pale man. he looks like he’s from around here.

“hey! y/n right?” he asked smiling wide, you took out your earphone “yeah? and who are you?” you asked confusingly, “Jules? we’re supposed to be working together?” he said trying to refresh your brain but you were still confused. “did they not tell you about me?” Jules asked, you shook your head and said a small sorry. you must have slipped over the email when they said that. you feel so stupid right now,

Jules explained everything and apparently he’s your new roommate. he was supposed to help you do a big painting for Claude Monet. you invited him inside to make a cup of tea for the both of you. “so, where are you from, Jules?” you cusped your teacup, “I live 30 minutes away from here. they wanted me to be here all the time to complete the painting as fast as possible and I couldnt say no,” Jules said.

after an hour and a half of talking with Jules, you really feel right at home with him. you two just met but you really feel a connection between him. you also found out that during his free time, he’s a guitarist and does gigs here and there to make extra pocket money. he said he’s in a band thats called “The Rejects Club” you laughed hard when he told you that because it sounded so high school-ish. but in his defence, he did say that the band formed when they were still in high school.

it was close to dinnertime, you didnt want to eat as you already eat a croissant that you quickly grabbed from the airport but Jules insisted to make cook for the both of you, you couldnt say no when his voice sounded so velvety and is like a warm cup of coffee with marshmallows on top. you were sitting on the couch with the both of your legs on top of the coffee table scrolling through instagram when Peter replied to your story, “how’s Paris so far?” he asked, “it was tiring but tomorrow’s gonna be more tiring,” you said.

whatever Jules was cooking definitely made your stomach growl with anticipation. you werent hungry but whatever he was making definitely made you hungry. you stood up from the couch to look at what Jules was cooking and it was pasta. to be accurate; an aglio olio. it smelled so delicious. you wanted to help so you took out the plates from the cupboard and set it down on the table.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

“you know I love you right?” Peter said his lips nearing yours, you looked into his eyes and nodded. the kissed turned into a passionate and fiery kiss. he had your body against the wall, he was cusping your jaw with his left hand and the other underneath your shirt, you let out a moan and he squeezed tits.

“jump,” he said through the kiss and you obeyed not wanting to destroy the moment that you were having, he sets you down on the silk bed and continues to take of your clothes, he kissed from your collarbones to the place that you needed him the most, “y/n!” someone said, but you were so lost you thought it was Peter that was calling you but the familiar new voice kept coming closer and closer as you woke up.

you woke up with sweat forming on your forehead and your alarm ringing so goddamn loud, “jesus, are you okay?” Jules asked, “what time is it?” you looked around frantically trying to look for the clock, “its 10:30am! we were supposed to leave the house 15 minutes ago, y/n!” your eyes went wide and picked a floral strap dress and a cream coloured turtleneck. you went to the shower without having second thoughts.

you put your clothes on and quickly grabbed your shoes along with a pair of socks and your handbag. you locked the door and ran to Jules’ car. you were breathing heavily as you strapped your seatbelt on. “I can’t believe we’re late!” you said flabbergastedly, “yeah, I know! what time did you even go to bed?” Jules was clearly annoyed. seems like he’s the type of person to arrive right on time.

“I slept right after we had dinner! I don’t know why I couldn’t hear the alarm. God, I feel so stupid” You put your socks on and your shoes. You took out your lipstick and put them on. “Who is Peter, anyway?” Jules asked absentmindedly, you looked at him trying to find out how he knew that name and in hopes that he’s just fucking around but he’s not.

you closed your compact mirror, “he’s a friend of mine,” “a friend, huh?” Jules scoffed, “I didn’t know a friend moans another friend name in their sleep,” your face flushed with red as he said those words. “what the hell, Jules?! I could’ve went days without knowing that you heard me having wet dreams about my friend!” you cover your face in shame. you couldnt believe that he had hear you moaning Peter’s name

“Oh my gosh, I feel like I could just bury myself right here,” you said, “Relax, I’m not going to tell anyone,” Jules said taking your hands into his, giving you a warm smile.

you two had arrived at this building that was filled with paintings but not by those famous painters just paintings by painters that were starting out. “Ah darlings!” you heard a middle aged woman walking towards you with both of her hands wide open, obviously ready to hug the both of us to death.

“you must be Ms y/n!” she cupped your face and kissed your cheeks, what a weird way to greet somebody but thats how it is, “and you must be Jules!” she took a step back and took a good look of you and Jules’ faces. she introduced herself as Mrs. Autry. she walked the both of you around the office and explained about how everything works.

“I am so excited for the two of you to work with us,” she smiles warmly, “let me know if you need anything sweethearts!” she bid her goodbye and went to another direction. you and Jules walked to the nearest café and sat down there. you ordered a frappacino whilst Jules ordered a latte.

every now and then you somehow were reminded of how you dreamed of Peter. not only dreamed of him but in such an inappropriate way. you don’t like him anymore, you just don’t know why he’s haunting you this badly. should you stop being friends with him? it feels so awkward now that you dreamed of him banging you. “so what should we do?” Jules voice brought you back down to earth, you stuttered trying to come up with something.

he could tell by the look in your eyes that theres something wrong, “you know you can tell me anything right, y/n?” Jules said, he’s definitely good in reading someone’s body language. “i wont judge, y/n,” he reassures you, you took a deep breath and let everything out.

everytime you talked he would listen, he’s there for you, always looking into your eyes to keep the conversation going, you also mentioned about how Peter was a dick when he found out you were coming here, Jules said “what a dick, do you want me to punch him if he ever comes here?” Jules offered you then laughed at his attempt trying to make you feel better.

you both went home and went straight to each other’s room because you were so tired. you didnt realised how much walking there was gonna be today. you took out your phone and saw MJ messaged you, “hey!!! I have great news! I’m coming to Paris next month!” you smiled to yourself, woah, did MJ missed you that much already?

you typed back “I know you miss me but you don’t have to, you know?” “Haha, very funny, y/l/n,” you chuckled and asked her “why are you coming here?” a three dots appeared and her response was “I just wanted to go there and experienced a real trip. not like when we get to go there and it was cancelled,” you still remember when the school trip cancelled going to Paris because apparently they got “upgraded” to go to Prague.

you smiled when you remembered thats how you found out Peter was Spider-man. “well, you’re going to love Paris,” you replied to MJ. you also gave her your current home address in Paris so she can visit you! she thought it was a lovely idea.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

“can’t you please to do this for me, MJ?” Peter begged MJ, basically down on his knees. “fine! but if everything went wrong do not blame me!” MJ gave in. Peter was planning to meet you in Paris but he wants it to be a surprise. something you’re going to remember till you’re dead.

Peter have missed you so much and he swore he could go crazy if he couldn’t see your face for another month. Peter was so excited that you gave a thumbs up and that you even gave MJ your address in Paris. he wonders to himself what could go wrong?

“there, I’ve done it, now can you please leave?” MJ crosses her arms, pissed that Peter hadwoken her up in the middle of the night because he couldnt keep it in his pants about his “love” for you. atleast thats what MJ teased him about. he never quite really admit it but MJ could see it and told him that he’s not fooling anybody with those goo goo eyes.

“thank you, MJ. i’ll find a way to repay you. i promise.” Peter said while crouching on her window, “you better, Parker, or you wont see the light of day ever again.” MJ threatens jokingly at Peter. he laughs and there he goes, he shot his webs to another building.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

a/n: hi sorry i know this is short and boring but i have so much on my plate right now but to make it up, I’ll try to post the next chapter tonight or tomorrow! again so SORRY its boring skdjsks but please do leave your thoughts!

say you love me taglist:

@imawkwardandhereweare @canyonmoonspidey @thebadassbitchqueen @thequeenreaders @averyfosterthoughts @a--1--1--3

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #peter parker #peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland #actors

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[mellohyi]

wooowowowoo i miss summer camp so much

like this is my second year without going and as much as it sucked i loved it

there is a large rant about the place and like every single living detail i remember about it under the cut (is that the right phrase to use for this idk)

like the big field with the train tracks next to it and the beehives on one edge. i miss throwing a frisbee for my few friends there and laughing when i would get it stuck in a tree or they would throw it and it would go so far away. and i miss jumping on the trampoline and getting so pissed off (jokingly) at the dudes spending like 10 decades on it and because i was the only british person there they would be somewhat scared of me? so i would literally stare at them somewhat angrily and with my shitty latvian accent complain about how long they are taking and they would get off LMAO it only worked on the dudes younger than me but it worked... and the basketball on the small court !!! :D im not good at like,, throwing ball type games tbh? but like this court was magical because like 9/10 i would actually get it in and score a point and i loved how,, rapid (?) the games were like if you failed to get it in at a certain point you would be out and you had to get it in to stay in the game !!

and i remember the lake!!! it had a lot of those thingies.. oysters? idk i googled it and thats what they looked like. i can still remember the feeling of them and they were sharp LMAO and there was a zipline thing you could go on and it would take you to the middle of the lake and you could jump into it from there. and there was a game we played where we would be in two teams and then we would send a person down the zipline and if they fell in we would all have to do i think 10? pushups and it was fun cheering on people from the small platforms next to the zipline !! and we used to build a sorta dodgy looking sauna using some planks of wood and a big blue tarp that was held down by some rocks and we would collect sticks to make a fire with and then we would go sit in it and just talk and chill in the sauna. not everyone wanted to go, understandably considering iirc i put it off the first year i went but then tried it the next and loved it, so there was enough room for all of us to comfortable sit and even lie down on the log benches !! and we even had like,, bay leaf sticks with the leaves on it and stuff and we would dunk them into a bucket of water and then gently hit someone who was lying down as a like,,, relaxation thing? and it was so nice and it smelt SO GOOD it smelt like wood and grass and nature and it was sweet in a savoury way and i miss the smell so much just thinking about it. like you could literally smell the bay leaves because of the water evaporating after you take it out the bucket. and the hot air was so much harder to breathe when you stood up and it felt thicker and the air lower to the ground was cool so when you found it hard to breathe you would basically stick your head onto the grass to get a bit of cool and it felt so good !! and we would take breaks to drink water and pour cold water on ourselves or we would go into the lake though the last time i went a lot of the lake had dried up D: but its okay because i still have good memories with the lake when it wasnt like that. once during the sauna we went in the lake after and the sky was so clear like i could see all the stars and i could see the big dipper and it was just so beautiful. i even used the zipline to get into the lake that time as well and it was just so magical. i was kinda like,, sleepy (?) so i kinda was just not fully there so it was like so much cooler because i didnt feel real during it and it was just amazing.

omg and the activities we would do. we went on a hike in a forest and it was SO COOL like we would have to go climb up the steep hill that separated the field area and the train tracks and we would literally go onto the train tracks and at the time there wasnt any trains so we got to literally touch the tracks and we would go into the forest and IT WAS SO COOL like the light came in at a perfect angle and it was so pretty and we would pick blueberries and aaaaaaaa it was so amazing !! and we would split up and walk to an area to play some games using the trees and it was amazing. and also we would just do sports games using the field but also we went BIKING!!!! they had so many bikes for the people who didnt bring their own and we would go on the bikes and cycle to some sand dunes literally like 5 minutes away from the place and climb up them and jump and stuff and we carved tic tac toe grids into the stable parts and played and it was so fun AND I LITERALLY SAW A LIZARD CLIMB UP ONE OF THE EDGES INTO THE GRASS LMAO and we also cycled to a lake

this one to be exact!! and we would jump off from the small pier thing and swim around back to the edge and it had sand and a slide and it was generally really fun cycling to and from there. i did cause multiple crashes with the bikes while cycling there LMAO mainly because my brain just tends to blow things out of proportion for no reason and like LMAO someone would start coming a bit closer to me and i would panic and stop and then everyone behind me would then have to immediately stop and they would crash into me.. like once i got my cousin to come with me and someone looked like they were gonna go behind my cousin who was in front of me and i panicked because i didnt want to be separated from her so i just stopped because i was panicking too much and everyone behind me crashed into me LMAO and they were all like 'bruuuuh' but anyways it was really fun cycling there because i went past the place my aunt on my mums side got married + the place my uncle on my dads side got married (no they did not marry each other it was separate weddings) !! a few times i didnt go cycling because i just didnt feel good and didnt want to go but it was okay in the end because i was all alone in the cabin and i would just sleep and draw while waiting for them to come back and they would flood in cycling down the small hill that leads to the field and has the bike area and i would just see them from the porch of the cabin and it was cool :D

mMmMmmmmmMMM and the food area !! we would usually sit inside the pizzeria (because the place was also a pizzeria more on that later) and it was fun because we had breakfast, lunch, dinner + a night snack thing (its called naksniņas) and like even though im usually the pickest eater at the camp and they had to make exceptions for me because we werent allowed dessert at lunch unless we ate all our food like i still got to eat a lot lol like there was usually something i could eat even if i couldnt eat all of it and the juice was so nice and ngl i kinda liked being on the like,,, duty of having to set up before the meals + clean up after because getting all the stuff and setting it up was just so peaceful and calm and i loved it and mmmmsmsmsmsmsm it was so cool and THE NIGHT SNACK THING WAS LITERALLY THE BEST it was practically dessert for dinner but right before bed + we would do an activity after dinner before it !! i talked to my dad and figured out the spelling of the word because im not that good at latvian atm and mmmm . also like we would have tea and it was so good !! we would also have a small snack like a biscuit or cereal bar and it was so nice good way to end the day :D

i also lost an entire waterbottle there dont ask how

the cabins were nice because i usually end up on the second floor level thing of it and theres a small window on it !! and a cool ladder to get up to it though its a pain when camp first starts + when it finishes because you have to pack everything up while trying to not hit your head on any of the beams or the slant of the cabin roof and you have to haul everything up and down... other than that its so fun because theres small holes (like,,, really small. cant fit a pen down it) and when the people in the two rooms below that cabin spot are being pisstaking you can pour water down it and they shut up LMAO its really funny because they see the water dripping and get more pissed off and then become less annoying and we used to slip them notes to tell them to shut up LMAO also listened into their convos to be annoying too

anyways to finish off with my favouritest things ever about it. last day we would make pizzas and your family would be there and you could make multiple pizzas ! i usually made one for my parents / family and then one for myself and my sister because we r really picky and dont like cheese . and it was so fun and the pizzas were SO GOOD and i share the other pizza thats not mine with my family because i hate cheese and they are happy too. i also love the one evening where we cook dinner ourselves i think thats the sauna night as well but omg its so nice we have dough balls to wrap around a stick and asduidfohih its so nice omg i love them so much right because we take the stick and then toast them over a fire and when you do them right its a tiny bit doughy on the inside but a safe amount and its like,, slightly crispy in a good way on the outside so amazing and like you can put stuff in it like cheese and ketchup and stuff but i just eat mine plain and they are so good mmmamMMm and we also have watermelon iirc and it was so good overall like best evening of the camp :)

anyways i love camp and i miss it

#mellow random #nah because i miss it so much i #pleading eyes emoji #i love latvia

[maggyme13]

Sugar (3/?)

AN: Here is my third chapter of my SugardaddyLoki AU:) I hope you like the Chapter for this week :)

Warnings: not really

Wordcount: around 1600

Masterlist

Sugar- Masterlist

Part 2

You had decided to bake some chocolate-apple-pie after your grandmothers recipe together with some Pasta and self made tomato-sauce, hoping the male would like the food.

The apartment had started to smell delicious, yourself nibbling on some bread Pietro had brought with him from his grocery shopping.

He had mentioned that Mr Laufeyson usually did not eat breakfast at the flat, but got something on his way. So you had needed to get your breakfast supplies, or your mornings would be hungry.

At least he had tea. A lot of tea and a lot of different kinds.

Now, the kitchen was stocked with every essential thing someone would need.

Food was finished around dinner time and you were just cleaning the kitchen of any evidence of your session, when the front-door opened.

You froze in anticipation and worry.

“Food is already here. Good. Please serve while I change into something different.”, the male called and not a second later you heard another door close.

Doing as asked, you plated your home-cooked meal and placed a dish where he had sat the day prior, you sitting down with your own serving in the same manor.

It did not take long for him to emerge again and join you at the large table.

“This looks quite good. Now it only has to taste as such.”, he mumbled, eyeing the food in front of him before taking a small bite.

You waited, anxious, for his reaction and could not suppress a smile when you saw him relax into the food.

He liked it.

“This – this is good. Where did you get it? I have to put it on Pietro´s list of shops to buy from.”, he asked you, already preparing the next bite.

“I made it.”, you whispered, awaiting his reaction.

You were not disappointed: His shewing stopped, his eyes wandering to look at you. He gulped the food he had in his mouth.

“You are telling me, that you cooked this meal yourself? How and Why?”

“I spoke with Pietro and he offered to get the ingredients, what he did. I found the utensils in the cupboards.”

“Well, that explains how, but not why.”

“I, I didn´t know what to get, and I like to cook. It is also cheaper-”, the last part was only a whisper, but he still heard it.

“I don´t think I need to have an eye on how much money I spend for food and take-outs.”

“I apologize Mr Laufeyson.”, you quickly added, averting your eyes.

“It is quite delicious.”, he continued, “Well done.”

Warmth spread through your veins upon hearing the males praise and you couldn´t suppress a shy smile.

“You may cook more often.  Now, if you would excuse me, I have an early meeting tomorrow and therefore will go to bed now.”, he declared, already standing up.

“I- there is dessert.”, you quickly stated, “I mean- if you want. I can but it in the fridge. The pie might not taste as good as now, but still good.”

“You made pie?”, he mused, sitting down again, “What kind of pie.”

“Apple chocolate after my grandma´s recipe.”, you whispered.

He stayed silent and you took it as a sign to serve the desert. Gathering the used dishes, you placed them aside and got the pie out of the oven to plate it with some powdered sugar.

Mr Laufeyson looked at for a few second, before taking a very small piece onto his fork and eating it.

His face kept neutral, though he ate it all.

“As I said. I will be retreating for the night. Tomorrow morning the cleaning service will come to clean the apartment. Just as a heads-up. Have a good night.”

And with that, the man retreated to his quarters.

Well, better get the kitchen cleaned and then to bed.

Thanks to the fact that you had already cleaned most of the things after using them, the kitchen was spotless within ten minutes with the leftovers secured within the fridge. Labeled with the date you had cooked them.

It was nearly enough to feed one more person.

Shutting off the light, within the main area, you stepped into your bedroom, only to stop short; on your bed were four black boxes with silver ribbons.

Presents.

When did he get them in here? What is in there?

Slowly you approached your bed, letting your fingers brush over the soft fabric of the ribbons, once you were able to.

The boxes had the Ásgard´-logo imprinted into the top.

More clothes? But-

With gentle hands, you opened the first bow and then box.

Is that Lingerie? What does this mean?

Shocked, you lifted the first pair of clothes out of the box. It wasn´t lingerie as you first thought, it was a nightdress.

Does he expect me to wear this?

Quickly you opened the other boxes as well, and the next two contained a similar kind  of clothing.

That was, until you opened the last box and a relieved sigh escaped your lungs. Your eyes fell onto some new shirts and boxer-shorts. First were made of extremely soft cotton, last were made of silk.

You just had to wear them, the leggings and shirt you had worn previously had been to warm for your liking and felt wrong to your skin beneath the covers.

Ready for bed, you placed the boxes into the walk-in. You would sort them away in the morning.

With your mobile phone charging and the alarm set for 6:30am, you closed your eyes to sleep.

You woke up with the alarm and decided it was a good day to start with a shower.

Dressed as casually as possible, you made your way to the kitchen area with still wet hair.

You were surprised to see Mr Laufeyson already sitting there. “Good morning.”, you mumbled.

“Good Morning. I did not thought I would see you this early.”, he greeted you in return, sipping on his tea.

“I am used to get up early to do work.”, you admitted, preparing your own breakfast with the stuff Pietro got you the day prior.

“I see. Pietro will drive me to work this morning. I have a conference call with some important people. After that he can drive you wherever you want. There is a credit card on the little table next to your door. It has an allowance of  10.000$ a week. I may allow you to use more, should I see it necessary and you ask me beforehand. You need to have your ID with you though. Otherwise the card will not be accepted.”

He spoke almost bored, like that sum of money were just peanuts.

“Ten-thousand a week?”,you stated with huge eyes.

“Not enough?”

“Too much. Tha- thats more than I made in four months working. Wha- what should I do with that much?”, you quickly explained.

“Buy what you want, as long as you don´t buy at the opponents shops. The cleaning crew will be working from 10 to 12am. See you sometime today.”, and with that, the sharp dressed man left.

Leaving you with no idea what you should do with your day.

Sighting, you grabbed the offered card and stared at it for a long time.

I could visit Bob and Monty,  maybe get them some food or things they need. And then buy stuff for the shelter. At least I would do good with all this money.

You still did not want pity money and felt dirty accepting it.

Using your new phone (because you couldn´t find a pen and some paper to make notes), you wrote stuff you though you should get to not accidentally forget something.

It got rather long, and you hoped you would be able to get all this without renting a truck.

“And I need some reeeeeaally simple stuff to wear.”, you mumbled.

The ringing of your phone caught your attention. Pietro was calling you.

“Good Morning. How can I help you?”, you greeted him politely, just like you had done with your customers just a few days ago.

“(y/n), It´s Pietro. Boss said to call you once I am free. Soooo, I am free. Any idea what you want to do? I can drive you wherever you want.”, the young man´s voice came out of the speaker.

“Thank you, that would be nice. I have a few stops I would like to make- if that is not too much trouble.”, you smiled into the phone.

“Not at all, I would just be earning my money. I will be at the tower in the next ten minutes. If you want, you can wait in the lobby. I will come and get you.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“No worries. See you in Ten.”, and with that the line went dead.

“Well .. then let´s get down there I guess.”, you mumbled, grabbing your phone and wallet, you got on your way  down to the lobby.

It was rustling with live and you searched for a calmer area to wait for the blond young men.

You felt out of place and feared they would kick you out any second now, but instead, your phone rang again and you accepted Pietro´s call.

“I am up front. Are you ready to go?”

“I am coming out, give me a second.”

“Sure, it´s the black Dodge SUV.”

“Got it.”

Part 4

AN2.0 Well, Loki seemed to like her food. What do you think she will do with all the money?

REBLOGS and comments are appreciated, though any request of a SUGARDADDY looking for a Baby will be deleted… just like the last 30 in the first two parts…..

Thank you very much.

~MaggY

Taglists:

Permanent:

@jadepc@pacifyhxlsey @thankyoukarenclifford

@thankyouforanonymity  @punkrockhufflefluff

@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil

MCU:

@yknott81    @banner-and-bucky-are-life @forext20 @dyanlzbb  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4 @bitchwhytho @ladyofmyst   @jilldsumner @momc95 @appreciating-fanfics

Sugar:

@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666   @fullranchwolfoperator

@cluelessnitwhit @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry

@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna @nikkipea   @alexakeyloveloki

I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.

Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.

#sugardaddy!loki #sugardaddy Loki x Reader #reader #sugardaddy au #Loki #Loki Laufeyson #MCU #Marvel #Reader insert

[carriedawayfromhome]

Forever Grateful - A.I

Count - 3.6k 

Summary - Ashton has always been your number one, but maybe, you’re no longer his.

Rating: General Audiences 

Song - Moonlight by Ali Gatie

Masterlist

You can feel the tension across your eyebrows as you look at the clock on the wall - 10:34pm. He was meant to be here four hours ago. Four hours ago he was meant to walk through the door, kick off his shoes, wallet and keys on the counter and throw himself onto the couch. Four hours ago you would have followed his movements and fallen on top of him, letting yourself relax into his embrace. Four hours ago you both would have cooked dinner together, letting the moment of this quaint home life ease over you. Four hours ago you wouldn’t have felt this way - if he had just come home. 

Now for many people, four hours on a Thursday night may not be a dealbreaker and that is fair enough, but not when this has been going on for weeks, or was it months? With the late nights also came tired mornings, no warm embraces watching the sun filter through the windows or late breakfasts, no need for a lot of chatter as the morning spoke it’s words for you. With those tired mornings also came empty days. 

Once upon a time, Ashton would sneak out of band practice and dash home to give you a quick kiss and embrace (and something more if there was time). He would quickly give you a run down of his morning, slightly out of breath from his jog into the house, he would excitedly tell you about the new chorus he wrote for a song he had fallen in love with or how he had mastered a song on the drums. He relished in the excited look you would show as you listened to him rambling on. You were head over heels for that cheeky man and you would have done anything for him. 

But no, not anymore. 

Those days are far and few in between now. You try to think back to when things started to fade. It probably started with Ashton getting busier and busier at practice and then with the small gigs the band was booking, that meant that he was on the road more often, but it was still long enough to miss him and for him to miss you. You made it work at first, you both did, calling, texting, face-timing. You both left messages when the other was busy, little notes of love and admiration that brought a smile to the face of the person reading it. 

You tried to make it to as many shows as you could in-between shifts at work. You loved watching him up on stage, beating at the drums like his life depended on it. His brown long locks falling into his face from all the sweat. You could see he was at home up there on stage, with his bandmates, with his songs, with his fans. You could see the love and light in his eyes when he looked out over the room, trying to find you in the crowd and those times that he could see you, his smile would widen and he’d wink, letting you know even though there were hundreds of people in this room, he was only thinking of you. 

You jump slightly as you hear a key in the lock of the door, your eyes flicker up to the clock once more - 11:07pm. You push yourself up off the couch, waiting for him to walk through the door. 

“Hey you.” You whisper, just loud enough for him to hear, but not too loud as to startle him.

He looks up from where he drops his shoes, “Hey,” a sigh leaves his mouth, “Ah, sorry about being late again, just got caught up, didn’t realise that was the time.”

That tension that was holding onto you before has come back with a vengeance, his usual spiel as always, you never pry, you know he’s busy and he’s doing what he loves, but, aren’t you, also something that he loves? Loved..? 

Usually after he apologises, you fix him something quick to eat and you both head to bed, half hearted kiss on the cheek and the cycle repeats itself. But tonight, for some strange reason you feel the need to express your anger, something your mother told you never to do. “Keep your anger and frustration inside honey, don’t let them see, you don’t want to scare them away.” 

“You’ve been late every night this week Ashton,” You cross your arms as you feel your hands start to shake, “I just don’t understand what keeps you away until eleven every night.” 

He looks confused, dumbfounded maybe, is he shocked that you said something? Or that he doesn’t know how to respond? “Love, we’ve got shows coming up in two weeks, and we even booked some more for next month! We’re busier now more than ever, it’s just taking up more of my time, that’s all.” He finishes the sentence with a smile but the tension still remains within you. 

“I get that I do, please believe me, but I barely see you anymore.”

“You do see me… right now?” He throws his hands up and smiles wider, he’s trying to make you laugh, trying to ease the tension he now feels, trying to bury this, trying to make you forget. 

You feel like crying. All of a sudden every feeling over these last few months bubbles up inside you and you feel like screaming. Those late nights, tired mornings, empty days. You’ve pushed away the memories of you going to bed alone, with tears soaking the pillow, of him never running through the door excitedly anymore, of him ignoring your phone calls and of him finding someone else’s eyes in the crowd and of you realising that you will now come second to his first love. 

You curse under your breath as the first tears sting your eyes, “We can’t go on like this Ashton, this can’t be how our relationship is.”

He looks confused, eyebrows furrowing, “What are you talking about? I was late! So what!” He huffs as he throws his arms up, “This is my work! You know that! I need to put my heart and soul into this!”

“Thats exactly it though! You used to put your heart and soul into me! Into this relationship!” You can feel heat prickling at the back of your neck, the anger is getting stronger and the need to throw something is strong, “You know I support you and this band, but if you completely give up on this side of your life, then why am I here?” 

He threads his fingers through his hair, a silver band on his finger catches your eye. A gift, from you to him, one year anniversary. You can see him start to sweat, he darts his eyes around the room, trying to avoid yours. 

“I don’t know what to say,” His eyes finally find yours a slight glisten to them, “Maybe this band is more important to me.”

All that tension, all those tears, all those memories suddenly are gone. You feel empty. You can tell what he is doing, you know him too well. He’s trying to be strong so that he doesn’t break down in front of you. He’s never been the best at showing his feelings, he always liked to be the leader, the person for people to follow and for him that comes with the territory of keeping the facade of an emotionless person. You can see his lip quiver, you know that inside his head he’s thinking - don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. 

He’s pushing you away so that you don’t do it first, because if you did, it would break him. He must’ve known this would be coming at some time, maybe he was hoping you would hold on for a little longer? He flipped the coin so quickly so that it seemed as though he has the upper hand here, he’s in control. He’s the one who’s doing the hurting, so that he’s not the one being hurt.

But damn, does this hurt you bad.

You let the sob that you’ve been holding in your throat out, and the tears fall now, “You need to say it to me straight Ash,” You want him to say those words, if he’s the one who wants to hurt, he needs to take that responsibility, “Say it.”

He hasn’t broken yet, but you see his fingernails dig into his arms, his lip quivering. What did he expect though? For you to stick around? For you to hold onto that little ounce of hope that things would work out in the end? That isn’t enough for you. You need more. You needed him. 

“What do you want me to say?” He’s holding back as hard as he can, you can see his jaw clenching, a few beads of sweat falling now. 

You eye the clock on the wall, 11:26pm. The urge to throw something is getting stronger. 

“You know what to say, if you want this to be over, you say it,”

“Fuck you.”

“I wish,” The mean streak in you is coming out, “You haven’t in months,” Ouch.

You can see the hurt flicker over his eyes, that was a low dig, you realise that.

He’s hesitating now, why? Why not just come out and the those final words or is because that is the problem, it will be final? You know he doesn’t want to say the words but you also know that this has to end regardless, this is a long time coming. The reason you want him to say those words, is because no matter what, you don’t want to hurt him. You want him to hurt you, because at the end of the day, you always know that you loved him more than he loved you. 

Though you can also feel the words on the end of your tongue, you could say it right now, two words, so easy, so quick. But the pain it would cause would be immense. He would get through it, but at what cost? You know what he’s like when it comes to pain. Six months into your relationship his Dad passed away, a Dad that he barely knew, a Dad that at first had left when he was five and had sent a birthday card every year, with the words, “Happy Birthday Son, be good, I love you.” Those cards eventually stopped coming though just before his 19th birthday, he got another card, after years of absence it read, “Happy Birthday Son, I hope you’ve been good, I would like to see you, I love you.”

It was a brief, but it was important. 

You think about those first few months, he was excited, nervous, anxious to see his Dad after all this time. You recall him relaying his meetings with his Dad to you. The hesitation, the anger and then the acceptance. That all came crashing down when he told you the reason his Dad wanted to see him - cancer. He was dying, end of story. Was it fair? Was it fair that Ashton’s Dad wanted to see him and then let him know it was almost over? Or would it have hurt more If he had never known? That’s a question you’ve thought of a lot, but have yet to find an answer.

The aftermath was bad, messy. Alcohol was the cure. The nights were long. There was never a sober moment, he drank away the pain. There were hospital visits, there were fights, there were scars. You tried so hard to fix him, and to your disbelief you eventually got through, slowly and surely you made sure he was taken care of. You stayed with him through it all. You thought back to when he mentioned he used to play drums when he was younger, you suggested this to him to give him something to take his mind off the pain, so that alcohol wouldn't. 

You recall how he loved it, how it made him feel strong, in control. He got in contact with some old friends who also played instruments. They played together, he felt even stronger, they wrote songs, he felt more in control, they started performing, he felt whole. 

You gave him what he needed, a push. But now, he’s pushing you away. 

“I can’t say it,” He whispers. You’re brought back to reality. To the situation in front of you. He still has control, he’s not faltering, but you can see his body is starting to shake. 

You sigh once more, your body feeling heavy on the carpet floor. The tie between you two, the invisible rope keeping you together is feeling tight against your chest. The anger is starting to dissipate and all you feel is overwhelming sadness. 

“It’s over.” The words leave your mouth. You didn’t want to. You really didn’t. You held out for as long as you could. You know this will hurt him, this will put another scar on his checkered heart. But it needed to be done, the rope needed to be cut. 

You see his facade break, his face crumble and the tears you thought you would never see fall onto his cheeks, his knees buckle and before you know it he’s on the floor, head in his hands. 

For a moment you watch. You watch as the man before you, the man you poured your heart into, break right in front of your eyes. The emotions he always kept hidden in a glass jar are broken into little pieces on the floor. You bend down in front of him, lifting his chin up with your fingers, his eyes are now bloodshot, puffy and red. He looks younger now, no longer his twenty two years of age, now an adolescent, wanting nothing more than to be held. 

You hesitate before leaning forward, kissing his forehead, “I’m sorry Ashton,” You want to say another three simple words that used to come so easy to you, but you can’t find it in you. 

It doesn’t take long to pack your things, you never kept too much at his apartment, just the necessities. You can hear him in the lounge room, mumbling to himself, trying so hard to keep it together. You hope to god he does do just that - keep it together.  With bags in hand, you head for the front door, you’re done, you don’t want to say anymore or feel anymore. You pause though, hand on the door knob, you can feel his presence behind you, you can tell he wants you to say something, something he can hold onto, if just for now. 

But you don’t turn around, you walk straight out the door and into the midnight air, the cold wind stings your face as you walk to your car. As you drive out of the driveway you take one last look in your rear vision mirror, you see him standing at the front door, you can’t tell if he’s still crying.

With one deep breath you tear your eyes away from everything you’ve held dear and drive off into the night. 

Three years later. 

Living in the city has been a blast for you, you’re close to work and you love the bustle of the city. You live for the anonymity and the glistening lights from your apartment. Life has been a whirlwind since you moved to the city three years ago, It was a spur of the moment decision, a plan to start a new, a fresh beginning. Packing up all your stuff and moving half way across the country to start a new job and a new life. 

You’ve kept yourself busy, new friends, new places, new relationships. 

You never even think about that boy that once broke your heart.

You’ve tried not to keep up with Ashton’s life, you tried very hard. But just after the breakup his band got signed to a major label, toured with a few big bands and released a few good (albeit brilliant) albums. He was in the news, he was on all social media and you couldn’t escape it and it definitely hurt at first, seeing his face everywhere. He changed his hair colour, red and now black. You thought he suited it, he looked very gown up. 

It isn’t until one evening after work you’re in a taxi, head against the window watching the city whirl past that you hear his voice, on the radio. 

“Welcome boys! Luke, Calum, Michael and Ashton to the studio!” The radio announcer yells.

“Thanks for having us man! We’re very excited to be here!” Ashton replies. Your heart halts for a second. It’s weird to hear him talk, you’ve avoided listening to any of the bands songs, let alone radio interviews. 

“So fellas, it’s so good to see you, you’ve just come off a world tour and an appearance on the late show last night, how are we feeling?” 

“Well to say the least we’re exhausted,” Luke chimes in, “But we’re still working hard, which is why we’re here, because we have a new song out.”

“Yes that’s right boys, a new song, now, tell me about this one, sounds like a sad love song, is that right?”

“Yes that’s right,” Calum answers, “You could say it is about the one that got away.” 

You listen intently. Your heart rate beating ever so slightly faster. 

“The one that got away? Well, well, well,” The announcer laughs, “I assume all these songs are written about real experiences, so who’s this one about then fellas?”

“This is one actually about my past experience,” Ashton says. Your heart now trying to beat its way through your chest, “It is about a love that I didn’t cherish properly. That I pushed away, that I regret still to this day.” 

You’re grip tightens on your seatbelt across your chest, you feel as though if you didn’t your heart would beat straight out of your body. He can’t be talking about you can he? Must be someone else. 

“This person helped me through some of the worst moments in my life, she is actually the one who pushed me to start playing the drums again, she’s the reason I am here talking to you actually.” 

Your throat feels tight and the air in the taxi feels hot and stuffy, you wish the driver would turn up the AC. 

“Well seems like a very important song then, well we’ve got the studio all set up ready to go, so I’ll let you boys take it away.” 

The first strum of the guitar makes your eyes close and you lean back in your seat, letting your head rest against the window. 

Nobody love me like you

And I can't love nobody back

You remind me of the moon

'Cause every night you coming back

What am I supposed to do?

If I'm so in love with you

I cannot get over you

I cannot get over you

Since you left me every night I go stare at the moon

Wishing it was you and I, that's something we would do

Every Sunday morning I go watch the flowers bloom

I do things we used to do, hoping I'll run into you

What's a lie and what's the truth

I cannot get over you

Doesn't matter what I do

Everyone just looks like you

Girl, I smell you everywhere

Smell your perfume and your hair

I try to act like I don't care

Everyone knows that I care

You the reason I believe that love is real

Ain't nobody make me feel, the way you make me feel

Darling, tell me is it real?

Or was I lying to myself just to make it feel so real?

You let the breath out that you had been holding in, you feel slightly light headed. It was about you, this song. Ashton wrote this song about you. He let his feelings flow into a song. 

The voice of the radio announcer brings you back to reality, “That was absolutely amazing boys! Brilliant!” You can hear faint clapping in the background of the studio. 

“Thanks man, we’re very proud of this song,” Michael exclaims. 

“You should be, you clearly put your heart and soul into this song.” 

“We did, Ashton definitely took the reins and let the words flow and now here we are,” Calum replies, “We’re excited to be putting out songs that actually mean something to us.”

“Clearly, so what about this girl then? The one that got away? Anything to say to her?”

You wait. Anticipate the words that are going to be said through the radio speaker. 

You hear Ashton clear his throat, “Yeah, ah, I guess if she’s listening,” You listen to him hesitate, “I want her to know that I am forever grateful for her. That the reason that I am here, inspiring people, doing everything I love with the people I love is because of her. I am so thankful for her.” 

You open your eyes now. Your heart rate is back to normal. You don’t register the rest of the interview, none of it matters to you anyway. You can feel a weight that you didn’t even know was there lifted off your shoulders, flying away with the light breeze coming through the taxi window. 

Your ride comes to a stop and you hope out. As you’re walking to your apartment you can’t help but smile - he’s okay. After everything, he’s okay and he’s happy. Yes you were angry for awhile for him giving up on you, but it was obviously just not meant to be. It was a fleeting moment in your life that you can now look back on and smile. 

As you take one last look at the bright city lights around you, you think about how great your life is and how wonderful it was to share a moment with someone like him. 

And for that you will be forever grateful. 

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #5sos writing #luke hemmings #ashton irwin writing #michael clifford #calum hood #5sos imagine #5sos fluff #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin imagine #5sos blurb #5sos fanfic #5sos oneshot #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin blurb #5sos story

[queenofthearchitect]

You did what?

This was requested by: @biforrollynch

Request: Hiiiiii idk if youd be comfortable with this request but could i have a seth/Oc fic where the girl has relapsed and harmed herself after a couple years being clean and she doesnt wanna tell seth but he notices and she thinks seth is gonna leave her for it and she hates herself until seth makes her see shes everything? ofc he doesnt leave her and he helps her through it and tells her how important she is to him and how much he loves her??

Warnings: cussing, self harm, angst, fluff

Trigger warning: despression, and self harming. Self harming and something everyone deals with some point in their life and if you are dealing with it please talk I love you guys.

Tag list. @theworldofotps @writtingrose @new-zealand-chic @sassyspacedust @wolfiegal98 @haharollins @the-beastslayers-queen

Please enjoy 🦖

Seth was gone on again, I felt alone even though he was a phone call away it just wasn’t the same. I was downstairs elbowdeep in dishwater when my phone dinged, I walked over to it and it was from WWE and I clicked it and my stomach dropped Seth and his coworker Becky Lynch were smiling together and a little to close if you ask me. I put my phone down and tried to calm myself, I continued washing dishes when I got pulled from my thoughts. I grabbed my phone again and I saw it was from Twitter this time I opened it, I saw the same picture from the WWE of Seth and Becky.

I read some of the comments, Seth had always told me not to because of it the jealous fans but I always did and this time I knew he was right. I took about 10 minutes to read some of the comments when I had enough I threw my phone and I went upstairs, i wiped the tears from my eyes. I grabbed my razor blade and I slid the blade across my hip, I felt the anxiety leave my body but it was filled with another emotion that was regret. I knew cutting myself was not only hurting me but it was hurting Seth and I’s relationship.

After I cute myself the first time, I kept thinking what would happen if Seth saw and what if he left me? I can’t loose him. I walked to the mirror pulled the top of my shorts down and I slid the blade slowly across my skin at first but then I moved quickly while I put five more lines down my hip. A few hours Seth had came home, and my stomach dropped I stared at my now new cuts and I quickly cleaned the blood and I put on some shorts, when he came into the bedroom, he smiled at me and kissed my head. “Hey beautiful did you miss me? I’ve missed you.” I nodded and I kissed his lips.

He pulled away from the kiss and raised an eyebrow. “Okay Olivia what’s going on?” I looked up and him and forced a fake smile “nothing babe I’m fine.” He pursed his lips together and looked into my eyes. “Olivia have you been crying?” I got out of his grasp and I moved away from him. “I said I’m fine Seth okay.” I sighed and I walked out the bed room. I was fighting back tears, for the first time in a long time I felt ugly and it was my fault.

I was cooking downstairs for Seth, I reached for a bowl on the top self little did I know Seth was walking into the kitchen at the time. “Olivia what is that?” I grabbed the bowl and got off my tippy toes, I turned and looked at him. “What’s, what baby?” *i looked at him and smiled while he his hands rested right above my ass. “These Olivia.” He raises my shirt some and pulled my shorts down a little bit. “That Olivia, why did you do that?” My smile dropped a little bit more and more while he waited for my response.

“It’s not important Seth it’s not a big deal, I don’t want to make something out of nothing.” I slipped out of his arms and continued to make dinner. “It’s not important my ass, also it may not be a big deal to you but it is to me.” I sighed and I continued to toss the salad I was currently making. “Seth look I love you and I would love to talk to you but I don’t think you would understand.” He let out a scoff and crossed his muscular arms. “Olivia I can you just have to let me in, you’ve shut everyone out and won’t let anyone in.”

I looked at me and I let out a laugh. “Yeah and when I shut everyone out you were the first to leave.” Before I could even take a breath he started talking. “Olivia that’s not fair and you know it, I told you why I left.” I rolled my eyes while I kept tossing the salad. “Yeah and I’m sure you went straight to her when you did.” I turned around and crossed my arms while leaning against the countertop looking at him. “Her? Who’s her Olivia cause I didn’t ever cheat on you.” I pushed some hair behind my ear and I was trying to keep calm but I couldn’t any longer.

“Becky, becky is the her, I seen the picture of you and her together WWE made a post and it soon got to me by some fans and a few of our coworkers, you guys looked happy together.” He put his arms down and walked over and wrapped his arms around me. “S-So what your saying is you did this over me?” I looked up at him and then laid against his chest. “No Seth I didn’t do it over you, I did it because the comments that were made and what our coworkers implied.”

I scoffed and I shoftedbme weight on my other side. “Seth you don’t get it, I don’t like her all up on you.” “Olivia your jealous really? I haven’t given you a reason to doubt me at all who cares what others say.” I looked at him and shook my head and I walked towards the door with Seth hot on my heels. I went to our bed room and I grabbed my car keys and put on some shoes, Seth kept calling my name and kept asking where I was going but I didn’t answer him. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry.

I drove and sat in the Waffle House parking lot and my phone kept going off, I had ten miss calls from Seth and at least fifteen text messages from him. I was going to givebin to him like I always did if he didn’t anything from my point of view then there was no more use of arguing, I was tired of it all I don’t know what to do anymore. I was pulled from my thoughts when my phone started going off and I looked at it and I saw the caller ID and answered it. “hello?” I waited before my best friend Renee finally spoke. “Hey girly Seth called dean and he told me to call you so thats why I’m calling not that I don’t love you.”

I smiled at her words and I start playing with my hair while I explained to her what happened, I got myself up all worked up again. I started crying but Renee told me not to, she gave me great advice to just cool off then just go back home cause apparently Seth was worrying himself sick. I rolled my eyes and hung up my phone. I turned my car back on I start to drive home, I saw a Starbucks and I pulled into it he could wait a little bit longer. Starbucks always seemed to help calm me down I don’t know if it was the smell of coffee or just drinking it.

After I got my White chocolate mocha with whip cream from Starbucks I got in my car and I head back home, when I arrived home I felt anxious. I got out of my car with my Starbucks in hand, I decided to just ignore him until I drank my drink cause I’m emotionally drained. I didn’t want to argue anymore but I’m not about to get talked to like I was a child. I twisted the doorknob and I walked inside, I put my keys on the key ring and stopped in my tracks when I seen dinner was done with a little note I picked it up and quickly read it.

Olivia.

When ever you want to talk I’m upstairs in the bed room, I’ve already eaten so don’t worry about me you eat and I’ll clean up okay by the way the chicken was great and so was the salad. I love you!

~ your boyfriend Seth

I just say the note down and I continued to sip on my mocha, I made a plate and started eating. After I was finished I started putting the food away and I started doing dishes, Seth came downstairs and looked at me “hey babe I know your probably still upset but I just worry about you and I love you and if anything ever happened to you.” I sipped on my coffee and continued doing dishes. “Olivia I don’t think I did anything to deserved the silent treatment.” I looked at him and put the dishes on the dishstrainer. “Seth I know you care but your not my dad okay, I love the fact that you care but you don’t see anything from my view.”

He sighed and held me closer letting his body warmth wrap around me, taking his scent in making me calm down some. “Babe I know what you mean I just wanted to let you know I’m only in love with you and no one will ever pull us apart.” I looked up at him, I pulled him down and our lips connected. When we pulled away both of us breathing heavily. “Seth I know I just so scared you are going to leave eme for some one else, that’s why I hid the cuts from you and I didn’t intend on you to find them cause I’m always scared your going to leave me.”

He smiled softly at me and left a small little peck on my lips, he pull me to the couch with him. “Olivia I would never leave you, I’m always going to love you through anything, I’m not going to let one little slip up chase me away and not love you because I do Olivia and I plan on making you my wife one day.” I smiled at him and snuggled into him. “Promise?” He smiled softly and started rubbing my shoulder. “I promise Olivia I won’t ever let anything come between us but you got to start talking to me about things instead of cutting okay babe.” I nodded my head and I kissed his neck and down his shoulder and shown his arm.

“How did I get so lucky to have you Seth Rollins?” He smiled and kissed my head. “Well if it makes you feel any better baby I haven’t always been this way, it’s taken a lot of growth and me growing up to get to where I am and now that I have you I don’t plan on doing anything to screw that up.” I smiled and sat in his lap and smashed our lips together. “I love you Seth Rollins.” He smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I love you Olivia so much, now come on let’s go cuddle.” I nodded and he stood up with my legs wrapped around his waist and while he carried me to our bed room where spent all night making up for our fighting.

A/N: I finally got this done and I loved writing it, I hope you all enjoy it and I love you guys so much for all the support and love y’all give me, life gets in the way but you guys and writing are my get away so I’m so greatful also sorry if this was long I wanted to make this one fic instead of 2. ❤️❤️

#wwe #wwe imagine #amandawrites #wwe x reader #seth rollins #seth rollins x reader #wwe superstars #seth freakin rollins #seth rollins fan fic #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins x oc #seth rollins fluff

[jessiewre]

Day 16

Mon 20th Jan 2020 (thats the date 20.01.20 weird init)

Woke up at 6am to hear a mosquito buzzing around my ear and flipped the light on like a ninja. The little punk was squished within 5 mins.

Now that’s the kind of adventures I’m after. Not a LIVE volcano.

Breakfast wasn’t quite ready as we were early, so we wolfed down some bananas and weird tasting coffee that was accidentally mixed with African milky tea and we found bodas to the Grande Barrie (Rwanda/Congo border). That was after was tried to ACCIDENTALLY leave the hotel without paying for one of the nights.

The border building was modern with ok toilets (but of course I dropped the WHOLE toilet roll on the wet floor fml)) and we headed to the tourist office who helped fast track us through. We were sat there looking at each other like WHAT ARE WE DOING. Going into the Democratic Republic of CONGO, climbing an active volcano and sleeping on the crater edge and paying for the experience? THIS IS CRAZY. But I suppose that’s the fun of it?

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT??

A safari type vehicle was waiting for us and we were driven through Goma to the start of the trek, stopping off the wash our hands at an Ebola check point. The seats were raised so it felt like we were sort of paraded through the town - the locals enjoyed the spectacle.

We pulled into the trek start point (I can confirm that the toilet there is not one I recommend really having to try and aim while you pee) and still saw no signs of other muzungus who might be joining us. We really hoped for a decent group but its such a roulette. Could be some right bores in there you never know.

A vehicle pulled up and a French brother and sister - Fleur & Simon - got out, with Fleur’s Belgium husband Toma & Argentinian Martin. Fleur worked for Unicef and Toma was a photographer and they met in Haiti but currently lived in Congo’s capital Kishasa (!). Simon was visiting her from Paris and worked in a bookshop and ran his own magazine. Martin worked in Nairobi for the Argentinian embassy.

Basically we had a great group, really interesting, good fun and chilled out at the same time. PHEW.

The trek was pretty hard but we had a lot of stops and the guides were so good, constantly reiterating that there was no rush and we could stop whenever we wanted for as long as we wanted.

Which was great for ME in particular...

See, when we sat down for lunch at our 3rd stop, I was fine but I was also STARVING. So I wolfed down my sandwich and fruit juice with more enthusiasm than a kid at a Pizza Hut buffet.

Then the section to climb straight after lunch was SO steep, such hard work, that I suddenly felt kinda sick. I had to take a few mini breaks and Phil poured water on my face rather dramatically, then I yawned a few times and in his panic mode he was like WHY ARE YOU YAWNING SO MUCH and I was like Cos I want to yawn mate. The chef Jean-Louie was so nice, reassuring us that there was no stress and we could take breaks as much as we needed. Ok sure by ‘we’ I mean ‘I’.

I managed to make it to the next proper break point ok but was craaaaving one of our juices. Then I was fiiiiine, I immediately felt better with 5 minutes rest and one of the bargain basement 10% juices they’d provided. Panic over (right Phil?).

One of the guides pointed to the top of the mountain and you could faintly see some shapes along the edge, which were apparently the huts we’d be sleeping in. Honestly they were SO FAR AWAY. I could not compute that we would be able to climb there in just a few hours. It seemed like a ridiculous idea.

But before we knew it, the cabins were in sight and we did the final 30 minutes of climbing watching them get closer and closer.

We finally reached the crater edge and apprehensively went towards it to look over...

I mean, it was absolutely BONKERS. A GIANT crater expanse lay before us, with a glowing lava lake bubbling away to the left and a whole other mini volcano on the right properly going off.

Never seen anything like it.

And hope it don’t ever again.

LOL joking (not joking) but seriously it was insane. So incredible and mesmerising.

We all sat and looked at it for a while, and then Phil remembered - he’d got himself a special little tshirt made hadn’t he.

After becoming obsessed with the idea that we needed to ‘drink an umbongo in the Congo’ he’d tried to find one in loads of supermarkets before we left. At one point he even went out at midnight to visit a 24 hour Asda ffs. With no luck, he’d managed to get a T-shirt made on the DAY that we left the UK - just in time. So wearing his UmBongo T-shirt, we did a little video to share with his triumph of been there, wore the T-shirt.

While we all sat looking at the volcano, I thought I’d I ask the security guard Jonas who was sat with us the question on everybody’s lips:

‘Jonas, can I ask, what time will dinner be?’

I’d assumed that he would know the answer but Jonas then went to ask the chef.

Phil was like ‘Oh Jess that’s so embarrassing, you should not have asked that’ but then everyone piped up like We are SO glad you asked that, we’re starving too.

So HA to Phil, they were buzzin - then Jonas said 6:30pm, which was 2 hours away.

No one was buzzin then.

But suddenly the chef pops out of his kitchen and says, word for word:

‘Jessica’...(yes he said my name only)...’would you like some coffee or tea?’

I looked around at the group, who were all wondering where their invite was, then back at the chef and said

‘Yes...yes I would. Thank you’

Clearly my tactic of pretending to feel ill earlier was REALLY paying off.

Obviously once I was in the kitchen with my milky sugary coffee, I asked if there was enough for the others and thankfully there was or I could have been swiftly isolated by my fellow trekkers, no one needs that when there’s a lava lake nearby - and then everyone had a hot drink in my warm kitchen (yes Mine). 
We started talking about food and I asked about people’s favourite cuisine . Weirdly the two French people said they didn’t like cheese, so I was like ‘I love cheese!’ Cos I’m a normal person. Then the chef turned his head and said:

‘Jessica, would you like some cheese? I have some cheese’

LOLLLLLL

I said ‘Jean Louie, that would be lovely thank you’ and he cut me a massive slice of cheese which OF COURSE I shared with everyone (only after I felt all their eyes on me like daggers, but actually 2 people obviously didn’t want any cos they don’t like cheese, which was an absolute result).

Jean-Louie’s kitchen was a basic arrangement of a simple coal fire and a big wooden box of stuff. He managed to prepare a carrot soup to start, plus rice, vegetation’s and chicken for 7 people. We had requested the Vegetarian food, but this message had not been passed on so there was a piece of chicken for both Phil and I.

Look, I’m really trying not to eat meat, and I’m actually doing very well and hardly ever eat it. But when you’ve trekked up a volcano and you’re starving and someone says ‘No there’s definitely enough, please eat this delicious tasty chicken I’ve cooked especially for you’, well, it would have been rude not to wouldn’t it. And also, I really wanted to eat it.

It was so nice all of us squeezed into this little kitchen cabin, cheers-ing with our carrot soups in mugs, eating as all the light disappeared and you could no longer see what was on your plate. If you’ve even done anything like that, trekking in mountains, camping - you’ll know the vibe I’m talking about. Super snug and satisfying. Was great.

Headed back out to check out the volcano and yep, it was still there. So we all looked at it a bit more while the lava bubbled and cracked and the light show continued.

Despite the hot lava (did I mention there was a lava lake??) it was pretty cold so I called it a day and went back to climb into the warm fleece lining and lovely sleeping bag. Phil didn’t head to bed for another hour as was utterly fascinated by the volcano, which of course I do understand, but I was a bit like Well its not going anywhere and I have like starred at it for 2 hours now and my legs are cold so...ya know.

And just before bed, I thought of the BEST idea ever - wait for this. So, the actual toilet option was a 5 minute walk DOWN the volcano then obviously UP again to return. Nah bruv.

I found an empty water bottle and sent Phil to Jean-Louis to get the bottle cut about 15 cm from the top. And thus I had created the perfect camping toilet. Genius, absolute game changer.

*Also - found out the Fleur has so far contracted Malaria no less than SEVEN TIMES. Wow. But she’d totally fine even after that, good to know I thought!