#Can't say it helps with the negative feelings I already hold for it. But that's why I just avoid it as best I can now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

130K people were victims of a chain letter scam that affected Tumblr in May 2011.

#Can't say it helps with the negative feelings I already hold for it. But that's why I just avoid it as best I can now

write-it-motherfuckers · 1 year

Text

My genius neighbours set off some very illegal fireworks in the direction of my house last night, which reminded me I hadn’t said anything about the holidays to any of you yet. As such I thought I’d take a page out of this little ferrets book, and quickly scuttle online to wish you all well before it was too late.

Happy holidays my Darling ones, I hope that no matter what you celebrate at this time of year, nor who you decide to spend that time with, even if you choose to spend it alone like myself, that you have a happy time filled with warmth and comfort.

I love you all dearly and am wishing you the best 🖤

#mod speaks #I forgot what time of year it was because I've been avoiding going outside and having to deal with all the stressed out nutcases and pricks #the number of accidents and just general arseholery that goes on around here tends to increase ten fold at this time of year #Can't say it helps with the negative feelings I already hold for it. But that's why I just avoid it as best I can now #Then again the heat does tend to affect my tolerance for fuckery. So that might be a big part of it #either way. I do genuinely hope that you are all having a good time and making happy memories.

137 notes · View notes

virgosimagination · 1 year

Text

How To Manifest Your Desired Appearance by Applying States

If you read my success stories post, you would know that I successfully manifested both my desired face and my desired body using the Law of Assumption. Specifically, by applying states.

Each state comes with its own set of thoughts. So first, I found it was beneficial to make a list of thoughts that I would think if I had my desired appearance.

For example, while manifesting my desired face, I knew my thoughts wouldn't just be "I have my desired face." That sounded and felt very mechanical to me. Instead, here were some of the things I'd be thinking naturally, and therefore things I adapted as my affirmations:

"I love being so pretty I don't even need makeup."

"I feel very confident today."

(When seeing someone I viewed as very pretty): "She's pretty, but I am prettier."

"Everyone wants to look like me because I am the most gorgeous woman in the world."

"I always look so good in pictures."

Any time I felt insecure or upset about my appearance, either my face or my body, I would immediately switch back to my desired state. Something that helped me a lot was minimizing the time I spent looking in the mirror. You can't see your face unless you're looking at your reflection. So really, I had no proof that I didn't look how I wanted to in my 3D. Any time I'd think of my appearance, I would imagine I looked like my DF. My old face was dead and gone to me. And when I did catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I'd pretend I was simply looking at my old self, because I knew for a FACT I looked different now.

I also made certain to fall asleep in the state of the wish fulfilled every night. I did this by doing SATS every night. I would imagine myself looking in the mirror and seeing my DF. I only looped the scene around five times before I got too drowsy to do it anymore. Then I'd drop off into sleep. Most nights, when I saw my own face in my dreams, I looked exactly like my desired face.

Any time throughout my day I found myself thinking from the state of lack, I would simply shift back to my desired state. I would do this by saying "I already have it." Sometimes it'd take me a while to sustain the state, because I kept immediately doubting. But I'd just keep shifting myself back into the desired state. I would not let myself give in to my negative thoughts.

I persisted until I finally woke up with my desired appearance. It got easier every day. I remained patient with myself. I knew it was possible. The only thing holding me back was my own doubts and fears. It got easier to recognize them (because sometimes they were camouflaged, as they were so natural to me) and it got easier and easier to dwell in my desired state, until it became my dominant state.

That is how I manifested my desired appearance! It really comes down to discipline, not taking no for an answer, and persistence.

#law of assumption #states #neville goddard #manifesting #master manifestor #manifesation #loa manifestation #manifest #loa advice #loa #loassumption

3K notes · View notes

kamiversee · 2 months

Text

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 3 || The Art of Seduction

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, a bit of smut, & sexual tension.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 5.1k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——"SO WHERE CAN I FIND HIM?" You ask Gojo after a few minutes of continued conversation.

Gojo's now in his sweatpants lying across your bed. He was serious about not going back to Shoko at all and he earned a lovely text from her after he told her he wasn't returning. You managed to sneak a peak a few minutes ago and based on the large paragraph you saw, Shoko definitely cursed Gojo out for ditching her.

"Where can you find him?" Gojo scoffs, his gaze set on your bedroom ceiling. "Sweetheart, what kinda question is that?"

You're glaring at him while you sit beside him, "Uh, a good one? All you did was give me a name and a picture, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

Gojo chuckles, finding your constant annoyance with him nothing short of amusing. "There's something called the internet. A name and a picture are all you need nowadays. Geto Suguru, that's his full name."

"Oh come on, this is all a get?" You say with a tired huff. For a second you're disappointed but before you let your frustrations get to you, you lean toward Gojo and give him an innocent little smile. "Can't you give me a little more than that, like where I can find him in real life and not online like some stalker...?" You ask.

Blue irises shoot over to your nearing frame. His gaze dampens with understanding as he eyes you, "Mmmh... How about I give you his Instagram?" Gojo says almost teasingly.

You shift onto your side a bit, holding up your body with your elbow before inching even closer to him. So close that your breasts press up against his arm. Then, you reach your other arm over and place a hand on his chest, tracing small little shapes on his skin.

Your eyes are almost begging him for more, "Can I get more than that? Please?" You ask, your voice nearly a whine.

Damn the way you make his body twitch because of your pleas. Gojo nibbles on his lower lip and he smirks a bit, "Why should I give you more than that? I'm already paying you to seduce him. Never said I'd help you find him."

You bite back the groan that tries to escape you. Gojo is infuriating but you shove your negative thoughts on him down as you push your body up and suddenly toss a leg over him, straddling him. You take a seat right over his crotch and earn an immediate deep groan from Gojo.

You're only wearing his t-shirt so sitting on top of him leaves one layer of clothing between your bodies. Gojo struggles to control himself with the feeling of your bare warm cunt sitting just above his cock, his sweatpants the only thing in between you two.

A hand is pressed into his abdomen as you lean forward a little, "Satoru," You purr, your tone making his breath hitch ever so slightly. "Just a little more, please?" You utter softly.

He opens his mouth but his response falls off his tongue when you shift your hips and rub over his clothed length. Gojo sighs and turns his head away from you, "Damn you..." He curses, annoyed by the sensual effect you have on him.

You rub yourself in a backward motion while leaning your torso forward to him. "Is that a yes?" You hum.

Gojo rolls his eyes and slowly swivels his head back in your direction, "No." He replies coldly.

You pout and tip your head to the side, rolling your hips over his crotch as if that's supposed to help you convince him. Even though the two of you just had sex and you're a bit too tired to go another round, clearly the only language Gojo understands is one spoken through sensuality.

Another hand slips over his bare chest and you gently press your fingers into his firm abs, his skin tense to your every touch. Your body leans forward some more and you arch your back a little, furthering the friction of your crotch over his.

"Please?" You whisper in the best tone you can to convince him.

Gojo grunts and his head threatens to turn from you again until you move your hand from his abdomen to his chin and pull him back. He doesn't know what kind of effect or hold you have on him but fuck is it working.

"Fuck, alright, alright..." Gojo grumbles, "What do you want? His class schedule?"

You grin, "That and maybe somewhere he usually hangs out. Y'know, so I can approach him in a normal setting and not like some creepy whore..."

The male below you chuckles, "Right. Well uh, Suguru usually-"

"Or," You cut off, rolling your hips over him again. "You can just introduce me to him yourself..."

Gojo takes in a crisp breath of air before moving his hands over your thighs. He tries to hide it but you can clearly tell he's struggling to control himself. It'd be a lie to say the man wasn't having thoughts of you bouncing on his cock right now. He swallows hard and you feel his fingertips press into your skin firmly.

A sudden smile spreads across his face and his eyes drop down to your waist, "Suguru's gonna have a fuckin' field day with you..." Gojo says with a slight scoff. "Y'know what, sure. I'll introduce you to him."

You flash a big thankful smile, "Really?"

"Mhm," Gojo hums deeply, his hands sliding up to your hips.

"Thank you," You say before another thought crosses your mind. "Oh, can you also tell me what kinda things he likes?"

Gojo's eyes are no longer on your face, most of his attention has gone to the way you look and feel on top of him. The hands he has on your hips slip under the shirt you're wearing and his soft skin presses into you.

"What kind of things he likes? Listen, I'm not just gonna sit here and tell you every-" Gojo is cut off by you grinding over him again and you watch him let out a hefty sum of air, almost as if he panted. "Fuck, stop moving so much..." He whispers.

You arch a brow, "Hm? What was that?" You respond playfully even though you hear him clearly.

The look in his eyes is serious, "Stop. Moving." He commands.

"I'm just trying to get comfortable..." You mumble innocently before wiggling into his crotch a little.

Gojo brushes off your comment with another eye roll. "What uh, what'd you want me to tell you again? Things Suguru likes?" He diverts.

A little grin takes over your features as you notice Gojo's being more obedient now. "Mhm, like maybe what kinda clothes or things in a woman he looks for?"

Gojo lifts his hips up a little, pressing himself into you and earning a jolt of tension to scurry up your spine. You ignored his length growing hard before due to your other movements but because he lifts into you, you can't exactly ignore the bulge you feel below you.

"He likes tight clothes on women if I remember correctly. And uh-," You rotate your hips around in a slow circle, and Gojo nearly moans mid-sentence. "Jesus, uhm... Fuck, what the hell was I saying again?"

The way you effectively distract him is amusing, it's what leads you to keep teasing him the way you are. "You were... telling me the things Geto likes. C'mon Satoru, focus." You utter sweetly.

His eyes glide up along your body until he settles on your face. "I don't need to tell you anything else, he'll like you. Trust me." He assures you.

Good enough. Seems like you're not half bad at seducing men. Maybe the problem was you going to find the right ones all along...

However, Gojo is a special case since he claims to have already had the hots for you from months ago. And since he says Geto will like you, you'll take his word for it.

With that, you lean back and relax on top of him. Gojo's eyes are a bit hazy in lust and the lack of friction over his erection is slowly driving him insane. You flinch when you hear the man call your name out in a tone filled with pure desperation, almost high-pitched with a fore-throbbing whine.

"Enough about Suguru," Gojo breathes out, "Finish what you started pretty girl." He requests.

You feign cluelessness, "I didn't start anything though?" You hum, chuckling a little.

That frosty gaze of his is stirring chills to slide down your spine. "Alright," He scoffs, "Slide back a bit then."

You stare for a second before moving, purposefully rolling over him as you move backward. Once you're no longer sitting on his crotch, you watch as Gojo shamelessly moves his hand down to palm himself.

Your lashes flutter in disbelief when he makes direct eye contact with you and pulls his cock out of his sweats. Damn the way your eyes shoot down instantly, your gaze met with an embarrassing leak of precum glazing over his tip.

His hand travels down his throbbing length, moving to relieve himself right in front of you. "Are you..." You blink to see if the sight of Goio stroking his length will disappear. It doesn't. "Are you jerking off? Right in front of me??" You huff.

Gojo smirks and his grip on himself grows tighter, "Fuck... No, I'm not agh-, jerking off in front of you. I'm jerking off to you." He corrects with a slight groan.

"Pervert..." You whisper loosely as your eyes remained glued to his cock.

That was just inside you? It's so... long. You're almost mesmerized by his hand movements, watching Gojo pull up and swirl his thumb over his tip with a very quiet whine he hopes you don't hear (you do).

His pulls only become quicker the more you stare and it doesn't take much for him to come close to an orgasm, especially with the way he sees your mouth watering.

Gojo moans your name out and you look up to his face. "Y'see what you do to me?" He pants, "F-Fuck, do me a favor..."

You think you get butterflies in reaction to his words. Again, perhaps you really are good at seducing men. "What is it Satoru?" You ask softly.

"Spit on it f'me," He huffs, "Please?"

Water is already being welled up in your mouth and you don't even hesitate to lower yourself to him slightly, spitting on his flushed tip just as he requested. Gojo's strokes become faster and he's panting and trying his best not to moan or whine.

His efforts fly out the window when you go further and push your tongue to his tip, just to get the slightest taste. Gojo lets out the filthiest moan when you wrap your lips around him and slip your tongue through the slit of his cock.

"Shit-," He chokes and his eyes almost roll back despite you hardly doing anything. "W-Wait I'm-," Again, Gojo is unable to speak and you're surprised when you pull your mouth off of him and he cums right then and there.

Right on your face too. You closed your eyes fast enough but Gojo didn't fail to get his seed on your tongue, lips, some on your nose, and even a bit all the way up above your eyebrow. The effect you have on the poor man is truly embarrassing.

Carefully, you open your eyes and blink a few times as you render the fact that he just came on your face.

Meanwhile, Gojo is dazed. He wants to take a picture so bad-- your pretty face decorated in his cum. It does something to him. He knows you'd never let him though, he's already got a video of you playing with yourself but this is just...

Well, it's worse but that's not why he wants a picture. Gojo wants to have this image of you so that he can go back to it later and so that he'll never be able to forget the scene of you decorated in his cum. "Fuck, I'm..." Gojo lets out a breathy laugh, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to uh..."

"Cum on my face?" You say slightly annoyed. A warning would've been nice, even though he couldn't get it out in time.

You raise a hand to wipe it off. "W-Wait," Gojo calls, causing you to pause. He beckons you to him with two fingers and you raise a brow.

Hesitantly, you crawl over him and toward his face until you're hovering over him. Gojo sits up slightly and you just knew he was about to lick his remnants off your face with how close he got to you. He doesn't though, thankfully.

Instead, Gojo moves to wipe his cum off your face with his hand as if he didn't want you to touch it. His thumb is gentle against your face and the two of you lock eyes as he cleans you.

When he's done, his thumb covered in his white fluids, his gaze drops down to your lips. Gojo smirks and forces your mouth open, wiping the fluids from his thumb onto your tongue. Your eyes widen but you don't fight with him.

"Swallow it for me?" He asks gently. Your stomach churns and you do just that, going as far as to suck on his thumb a little while you swallow down his seed. Gojo smiles proudly and whispers a soft and quiet, "That's my girl."

You try not to get too distracted but there is an emotion that swells in your heart. You ignore it for now but it's still there. "Satoru," You murmur.

"Hm?" He hums in response.

Your mind is thankfully back on the point of the entire interaction, "My money." You remind him.

Gojo chuckles and reaches a hand into the pocket of his sweatpants, pulling out his wallet. Two thousand dollars in straight cash is pulled out of his wallet and he slips it into your hand.

He just walks around with this much money on him?? You wonder to yourself.

"First person on the list complete," Gojo hums. "But," He tilts his head and leans close to your expression, "You can always call me for more."

With a slick smile, you tip your head close to his and give him a little peck, "I know."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

As for your second target, Geto Suguru, meeting him was... an event.

If you thought that you were nervous when Gojo threatened to expose your video to the school, Geto made you utterly speechless. The breath was stripped right from your throat with how direct and clear he was with how he viewed you and what he wanted.

Gojo is silly with his flirting but Geto? That man is blunt with it. So blunt that you understand why Gojo said he's considered a 'medium' level difficulty.

It was late into the afternoon when Gojo called you over to his apartment. You slipped yourself into a simple yet pretty short black dress that accentuated your body shape.

This was to fit the image of women that Gojo told you Geto was attracted to of course but, you couldn't deny the way the dress lured attention from quite a few people as you made your way to Gojo's place. And it was no help when Gojo opened his front door and his eyes instantly shot down to your body.

"Damn," Is the first thing Gojo utters at the sight of you.

It's been about three days since this whole thing started and today was the day you were set to try seducing Geto. Your blackmailer informed you that the other guys on the list weren't going to be as easy since he won't introduce you to them and it may even take days or weeks to seduce some of them.

That bothered you a bit but hey, at least you have something outside of school to work on-- and you're getting paid.

Like always, your head is tipped back so that you can look up at the tall man wearing that annoying smirk of his. "Hi Gojo," You greet.

The male pouts, "What happened to calling me Satoruuu?"

Since you slept with him, you haven't seen him much so you assumed that calling him by his first name was just a one-time thing. Turns out you were wrong, "Oh, I just thought..."

"C'mon sweetheart, we're friends now aren't we?" Gojo asks.

You fold your arms under your chest and Gojo's vision focuses on your tits instantly. "Are we?" You ask in return.

His blue eyes narrow a bit as he stares, "Mhmm... Yeah," Gojo murmurs, clearly dazed for a second. You didn't know it but he was already having flashbacks of you and him a few days ago-- the way he had you laid out, moaning for him, scratching at his back, and eventually face covered in his-

"Alright then Satoru," You call, breaking him from his thoughts. "Since we're 'friends', you'll let me inside now right?"

Gojo shakes his head a little to part from his mind, "You should let me inside you again," He teases.

Heat rushes to your face and your eyes widen as you glance around the hallway to make sure no one else is there to witness or hear his foolishness. Seeing no one, you turn back to Gojo with a glare.

"I take it back, we're not friends." You say curtly.

Gojo moves a hand to his chest, pretending to be hurt, "Aw, that's hurtful... You're really gonna play hard to get now?" He questions.

Your firm gaze doesn't waver. "Can you just let me inside already?"

He chuckles and moves his body to the side so that you can walk past him. Once you do, Gojo's eyes drop to your ass and he smiles ridiculously hard. "Y'know, I don't mind if you decide to be like that," Gojo tells you.

His words confuse you so you end up turning around to him as he closes his front door. "Be like what?" You ask.

"Hard to get. Doesn't make me any less interested in you," Gojo admits.

Clearly, despite the blackmailing and the whole whoring you out to people he knows, Gojo has some kind of genuine attraction to, interest in, or even crush on you.

With a scoff, you focus yourself on why you're at his place right now, "I'm not concerned with your interests right now Satoru."

He smirks, "Oh?"

"Yeah, I'm interested in Geto's interests as of right now." You tell him confidently.

Gojo nods his head slowly, his eyes flickering behind you for just a moment. "That so?" He hums.

"Yeah..."

"Why's that again?" Gojo suddenly asks.

You blink, "You know why."

Gojo meets your gaze for a second before looking somewhere behind you again, this time his brows furrow a little. "Do I...?" He asks softly.

You turn your head behind you to see what he kept looking at but you're met with an empty hall that leads to other parts of Gojo's apartment.

Turning back to Gojo, you nod, "Yeah, you do. Hell, the only reason I'm here right now is for Geto."

Something inside Gojo pangs at your words but he pushes this feeling off. His mouth opens to respond with something witty but he's cut off.

"Is that so?" Another voice chimes in, the sound coming from your left and Gojo's right.

Both of you turn your head in that direction and your eyes go wide as Gojo's lips move to a smile.

Any words you had fallen off your tongue as you met eyes with Geto Suguru. Half of his raven locks of hair are pulled back into a bun and the remaining flows down his back, ending somewhere in the middle. He's got his fingers curled around a glass of water and his eyes won't leave yours.

Even with the distance between the two of you, you can tell he's tall, probably somewhere around Gojo's height if not the same. Geto seemed to have been lounging around based on the black sweater and sweatpants he's got on.

You've gone awfully quiet since he's said something and you stiffen up where you stand as Geto raises the glass of water to his face and takes a sip, eyes gliding down along your body.

Fuck, he's even sexier in person. You thought to yourself.

"Satoru," Geto calls out, his voice filled with so much affection that even you felt weird hearing it.

If your name had ever been called in such a way you'd melt right then and there. His voice is so sweet, sweet like honey as he calls Gojo's name. Hell, your head turns to the white-haired man to see if he even hears the way his friend calls for him.

Of course, Gojo seems to be used to it. "Hm?" He hums.

"Who's the angel you brought with you?" Geto asks, his eyes still on you but words directed to his friend.

Gojo steps toward you and tosses an arm over your shoulder, "Just a friend of mine." He says simply.

"Do I owe this friend of yours something?" Geto asks in response.

"Not that I know of, no."

"Then why's she 'here for me'?" He questions further.

Gojo's brows raise and he looks down at you, "Well sweetheart? I'm sure you can answer that better than I can."

Great. Gojo did that on purpose. He's putting you on the spot as if he doesn't only have you here to seduce the male standing in the kitchen. You shoot Gojo a quick glare and then look back to Geto, whose eyes are filled with curiosity.

"Uh, w-well," Damnit, Geto's intense eye contact has you stuttering and Gojo's arm over your shoulder, and closeness doesn't help you much. "Satoru promised to introduce me to you..." You murmur.

Gojo sighs at the fact that you threw the spotlight back onto him but luckily, Geto's not interested in talking to Gojo more than he already does. "Yeah?" Geto hums to you.

Your head nods slightly.

"And what's so special about meeting me? Again, do I owe you something...?" He asks, tilting his head slightly and giving you a warm little smile.

Your heart races as you try to come up with a response. Geto's smile is charming, but there's an air of mystery surrounding him that leaves you uneasy and nervous. You take a deep breath and gather your thoughts before speaking.

"No, you don't owe me anything," You reply, trying your best to sound confident. "I just uh..." Shit, what are you supposed to say? You wanted to meet him so you could fuck him for some stupid game Gojo has you playing?

Geto has his head still tilted but he straightens up and sets his glass of water off to the side. His hands go to his pockets casually and he moves to stand near the end of the counter.

One hand rises from his pocket and he beckons you closer with two fingers, "C'mere," Geto calls.

Gojo suddenly removes his arm from your shoulder, "I'll let you two chat," He hums playfully as he walks past you and heads down the hallway.

Your eyes go wide and your heart sinks, "W-Wait don't just leave me-," You sigh frustratedly while Gojo ignores you and dips off around a corner.

Slowly, your sights return to Geto who's still waiting for you to come to him.

"C'mon, I don't bite," He taunts, "Well, unless you want me to-"

"N-No." You squeak. "I just, I'm fine right here. Why do you need me so close?"

"Sorry gorgeous but, I can't hear you too well from all the way over there." He says, this time sending you a friendly smile.

You're hesitant but, you end up walking toward him. He's standing right by the edge of the kitchen counter so you approach the side closest to him. You're close enough to smell the cologne radiating off his body but not close to the point where you're uncomfortable or anything.

"There she is," Geto purrs as you come to a stop. He then extends a hand out for you to shake, "See? I'm not so scary up close am I?"

Scary? No. Ridiculously attractive? Yes. "No, I guess not..." You respond in a soft tone while taking his hand and shaking it.

Geto holds your hand firmly, running his thumb over the surface of your skin. "Now tell me, why'd you wanna meet me again?" He asks, his voice low and captivating.

"Uhm..." You swallow hard. Staring directly into his eyes wasn't easy and you swear your hand was growing all sweaty.

He weighs in closer to you, his face nearing yours a little, "Uhmm...?" Geto mocks, clearly teasing you in a similar way to Gojo.

You blink, "Sorry, you're just..." Don't say it. Don't say it. Do not say-, "Really hot." You blurt out.

He freezes and you feel as though you could die. Then, Geto starts laughing at you, flashing the prettiest smile you think you've ever seen from a man. "Think so?" He utters in the middle of his laughter.

Just go with it. At least you were getting somewhere, "Yeah uh, it's distracting." You continue.

Geto's laughter dies down and he suddenly shifts your hand, tugging it close to his face and moving to kiss over your knuckles. "How do you think you're making me feel?" He says smoothly as he stares into your eyes.

Your knees threaten to go weak. "H-Huh?"

"I mean," Geto lifts away from your hand and tilts his head over to bluntly look at your body, "Coming into my apartment, asking for me, wearing that..." He lists before glancing at your face again, "Looking like that..."

"Like what?" You ask.

He smirks, "My type."

A surge of mixed emotions flush into your face. He's got you flustered already. You're nervous and all hot, "Are you flirting with me right now?" You say with the falsest confidence you could muster.

"I am," Geto hums.

That's great and all but how are you supposed to convince him to fuck you...? Damn Gojo and this dumb ass game of his. You sigh and try your best to have your way with the man before you. Getting to know him isn't important. All that matters is that you sleep with him.

You're lucky there's no time limit on this but still, you want to just get it all over with. Purposefully pushing your chest out further as you straighten up your standing posture, you flash Geto a nice smile.

"Cute." You say slyly.

His brows furrow and he restrains from looking down at your tits. "Cute? You think my flirting is cute?" Geto chuckles.

You nod your head, "Yup."

"You pretending to be confident is what's cute," Geto argues back, having been caught on to your false confidence.

Your body tenses and you think your heart sinks a little. So much for being confident. The man sees right through you. "I wasn't pretending..." You deny.

Geto chuckles, "Sure you weren't. What's your name gorgeous?"

First Gojo with sweetheart and now Geto with gorgeous... Are you ever going to escape these nicknames? Probably not.

You give the man your name and his smile widens.

"That's pretty." He compliments, his words forcing a smile onto your face. "And please, just call me Suguru."

"Are you sure...?" You ask hesitantly.

He nods, "Why wouldn't I wanna hear my name coming from that pretty little mouth of yours?"

You freeze. He's so bold... almost too bold. Maybe he knows. Maybe Gojo told him the whole thing and he knows exactly why you're here.

"Now," Geto begins, breaking you from your thoughts, "You never really answered my question about why you wanted to meet me."

Shit. You still don't have a cover-up for that. You don't know anything about him so how are you supposed to explain why you wanted to meet him? If you knew where he works or what he does for a living maybe you could use that but Gojo didn't give you that much information.

You definitely should've asked Gojo more questions. You sigh and give the shittiest but only excuse you could come up with, "I saw you the other day and mentioned you to Satoru, he said he knew you and could introduce me to you so... here I am."

Geto stares, his eye contact making you nervous as always. "Right... So now that you're here... Tell me, what is it that you want from me?"

You chew on your lower lip. Again, how do you respond to this?

Before you come up with something, Geto suddenly leans down closer to you. "Is there something I can do for you gorgeous?" He murmurs in an almost seductive tone, clearly hinting at something.

Yes. He could bend you over the kitchen counter and have his way with you so that you can get him checked off that stupid ass list... But of course, you're not gonna say all of that out loud.

"Uhm, n-no?" You utter.

Your breath sinks into your throat as he nears you some more, his face stopping a few inches away from your own. "You sound unsure." Geto teases. He then places his hand over your own and gives you a gentle smile, "You wanted to see me for a reason so, just tell me."

"I'm interested in you." You end up blurting out.

His eyes widen, "Yeah?" Geto smiles, still remaining close to you, "Interested in me how?"

Sexually. But you don't say that.

Instead, your eyes drop down to his lips, and damn the way Geto notices it too. You're screwed, so screwed. He definitely knows you came over to seduce him. There's no way he doesn't.

With what little confidence you have, you decide to just say 'fuck it' and go for it. "I think you know how." You say with a different tune to your voice.

Your words prompt a quirk on his lips, "Maybe," Geto replies, furthering your suspicions of Gojo telling him everything. "But damn, at least take me on a date first..." He says playfully.

And there's your confirmation. He definitely knows why you're here.

"Well, when are you free?" You respond. Knowing that he's already aware of your intentions only makes this whole thing easier for you.

Geto flashes a smile, "Wow, you actually wanna take me on a date? Alright then, I'm free tomorrow night if you are."

Of course you are, tomorrow's a Sunday and you barely even have friends as it is.

"Yeah, I'm free..." You hum.

He nods and the two of you soon exchange numbers.

A little more small talk occurs between you two but ultimately, your plan to seduce Geto and get him to sleep with you has officially begun...

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ☐

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

769 notes · View notes

yoongiseesawmp3 · 3 months

Text

own my mind - san (m)

summary: part of the idol series. idol!san x producer!reader. san hates you, you're sure of it, and the feeling is pretty mutual. are these feelings true, or does he just need to spend some time getting to know you?

word count: 10.6k

warnings: smut. afab reader. oral (f and m receiving) unprotected sex w pull out method, don't do that. recording during sex, don't do that either.

masterlist

"so the practice rooms are down this hall," your new boss explains as he shows you around kq, "and over here are the boys' studios, but your's will be this way..."

you're trying to take it all in and simultaneously remember where all of the confusing hallways lead. kq may not look like much on the outside, but within it's basically a maze. you keep nodding and smiling as you follow your boss around, politely greeting anybody you encounter. he ends by bringing you into a conference room to finalize some paperwork, and after that you're on your own. you're officially the newest producer at kq, and...you have no idea what to do next.

you step out of the conference room and try your hardest to remember which direction leads back to the studios, but you also need coffee. you remember where the kitchen is, so you head that way as you text your friend jen. she recommended you for this job, and she promised she'd say hi on your first day. she's one of the make up artists for ateez, so she's always around, but her schedule is a little more frantic than yours. you understand if she doesn't answer right away, so you send the text and forget about it. you take a moment to yourself in the company kitchen as you try to figure out the coffee machine, letting your thoughts wander.

are you really cut out for this? it's your first day and you already feel overwhelmed. do they expect you to just go into your studio and start producing? what kind of tracks do they have planned for the next album? will the current producers even let you touch anything important, or will you have to prove yourself first? you're thinking about all this and more when someone bursts into the kitchen with a screech.

"Y/N!!!" jen yells as she scoops you into a hug. "you're here! it's finally happening!"

"this isn't very professional," you laugh as you hug her back. "you're helping me make a bad first impression."

"not possible, i've been talking about how great you are for months," she smiles. "they're gonna love you, seriously. i can't wait to hear what you make."

"what if i suck though?" you ask, but jen shakes her head.

"don't do that. no negativity on your first day."

"whatever."

"so what are you doing first?" she asks, taking the coffee you just brewed and having a sip for herself.

"dude, that was mine," you cry, and she hands it back to you with a half assed apology. "um, what am i doing first...well, i got confused on my welcome tour, so i guess i'll wander around until i figure out where my studio is."

"oh i can show you," jen brushes you off. "it's not that confusing, you just need to walk it all a few times. lots of doors, but you'll get the hang of it."

"do you want to make your own coffee, or can you show me around right now?" you ask as you finish doctoring up your mug.

"i can just have another sip of yours," she says as she reaches for it, but you hold it just out of reach as someone else walks in.

"hey jen," hongjoong greets her, his eyes falling to you next. "are you y/n? i've been summoned to help you get started."

"thank god," you sigh in relief. "i wasn't sure what to do, so i appreciate it. it's nice to meet you, finally."

"likewise," he smiles. "i'm a big fan of your work."

"really?" you feel yourself blush. "thank you. you were one of the reasons i started producing, so that means a lot."

"really?" now it's hongjoong's turn to blush. "well, that's...nice."

"great," jen claps her hands, easing over the awkward silence. "you can show y/n her studio and the two of you can keep gushing about how great you both are." she turns to you and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving you a playful shake. "you're gonna do great things here. be nice to yourself. and uhhh, go team!"

"thanks jen," you laugh as you wave goodbye, following a respectable distance behind hongjoong. he looks back to make sure he hasn't lost you and motions for you to come closer.

"no need to be shy," he tells you. "we'll need to be pretty comfortable with each other considering how close we'll be working together."

"how often will i be working with you?"

"mmm, every day maybe?" he thinks about it. "in the beginning at least. you'll shadow me for a few days to see how the studios run, and then you'll sort of report to me with whatever you're working on. hopefully we won't get tired of each other."

"i don't think that'll be an issue," you assure him. you catch the tips of his ears turning red and you smile to yourself. "so, what makes a good producer here?"

you watch in admiration as hongjoong explains the creativity and collaboration that makes kq work so well, and you kick yourself for getting distracted again. you were supposed to be watching your surroundings, keeping an eye out for where to go to find your studio, but you can't help it. in this moment, it hits you: you get to make music with one of your favorite producers for one of your favorite artists. you must be dreaming, right?

if this is a dream, you're knocked out of it abruptly. while you were watching hongjoong, you weren't watching where you were going, and you walked right into the human equivalent of a brick wall. you spill your coffee everywhere, but don't worry, most of it lands on the most handsome man you've ever seen in your entire life. you're currently staring at choi san, singer of ateez and one of your new coworkers. he's looking down at you, a little bit of shock in his eyes, and you rush to correct the situation.

"oh, shit, i'm sorry," you apologize. you look to hongjoong for help and he's running off to find napkins, leaving you with a very buff man in a soaking wet white t shirt. "i am so so sorry, really, here, let me try to-"

"don't worry about it," san takes a step back. he starts to walk away, but you follow behind him.

"at least let me-"

"i said don't worry about it," he tries again, his tone calm but his eyes tell a different story. he's glaring down at you, which makes your blood boil. he has a right to be mad at you for spilling coffee on him, but why's he pissed at you for trying to help clean him up?

"sure, go drip coffee all down the hallway then," you grumble as you brush past him. "i'll tell hongjoong to follow the trail when he comes back with your napkins."

"fine," san sighs, stopping where he stands. he throws his hands up and asks, "happy?"

"sure."

"who are you anyway?" he mumbles to himself, looking you up and down. you feel his eyes linger, and it makes goosebumps rise over your skin. you take that as a further sign that this guy is getting on your nerves.

"i'm y/n, i'm the new producer," you answer. "nice to meet you."

"you spill coffee on all of your coworkers, y/n?" he asks, and you roll your eyes.

"i said i was sorry-"

"here's hongjoong," san cuts you off. he reaches out for the napkins and smiles at his bandmate. "thanks man."

"so you've met y/n," hongjoong chuckles, trying to ease the tension. "she's really great, we're lucky to have her on the team." san doesn't reply, just nods and sends you a tightlipped smile as he dabs at his ruined t shirt. the fabric is basically translucent now, showing san's tan skin below and the definition of every single muscle. hongjoong clocks the way your eyes are trailing over san's torso and he clears his throat. "um, should we continue our tour?"

"yeah, sorry," you gesture for him to lead the way, and you hold san's gaze as you walk away. he's a dick, you think. that'll be fun.

"so is san always an asshole?" you yell over the loud music to jen as you follow her to a table. she insisted on taking you out for drinks to celebrate your first day, and after the morning you had, you need this.

"is he what?!" she shouts back.

"an asshole!"

"san?" she looks at you bewildered. "he's a sweetheart!"

"are we talking about the same guy?"

"are we?" jen questions as she finally pulls you to a table in the back. it's a little quieter back here, so you don't have to shout, but the music will still drown out your conversation so no one can eavesdrop. once you're both settled, she takes a sip of her drink and then, "spill."

"nothing to spill, i just think san is mean and i hate him," you say simply. "i spilled coffee on him, totally an accident, but he was a huge dick about it. wouldn't let me help him, didn't really introduce himself...it all felt off."

"to be fair, i would've been pissed if you had spilled coffee on me when we met," jen points out.

"yeah, but you would've been nicer in the aftermath," you shake your head. "it's whatever. i hopefully won't have to work that closely with him."

"and what about hongjoong?" jen wiggles her eyebrows. "i hear you two hit it off."

"he's nice," you smile shyly. "made my first day a lot easier. he was really patient with all my questions, which helped ease my nerves."

"he's really good at that," jen nods. she goes into a story about her first meeting with hongjoong, and it makes you laugh and endears you to the man more. she tells you stories of the other members, none of whom you met today, but now you're excited to get to know them. "they're all really nice, especially san and yunho. i feel like they're the ones that always check up on everybody-"

"san?"

"yes, your mortal enemy," she rolls her eyes. "he's a good guy, i promise. you just need to make up for the coffee thing and i think you'll be on his good side."

"i'll think about that," you mumble, taking a sip of your drink that almost drains the glass. "so who's this guy you're seeing?"

"whoa, looks like you need another one!" jen deflects. she grabs your glass and runs off to the bar to get another round, leaving you to sit and stew on your own. if san was such a nice guy, why was he only rude to you? it sounds like he isn't mean to other newbies, so it can't be some kind of hazing. whatever dislike he holds for you is personal, and that's making you even angrier. when jen comes back with your new drink she says, "you look mad. what did i miss?"

"can you find out why san hates me?" you ask, and you swear jen would punch you if she could reach across the table.

"he doesn't hate you!! you just made a bad impression! stop making him a villain," she begs you. "man, you're so obsessed with him. maybe someone has a crush?"

"please," you scoff. "just because he has muscles doesn't make up for his shit personality."

"so you like his muscles," jen smirks. "tell him that tomorrow, it'll boost his ego."

"i'm not listening to you anymore."

"but i have so much knowledge to share!" she whines, and you let jen tell you all the do's and don'ts of working at kq as the night goes on. maybe you'll take her advice and try to patch things up with san in the morning. could be worth a shot, right?

the next day, you're in one of the bigger studios to help hongjoong with a vocal arrangement. since the last album did so well with the unit songs, you and hongjoong wanted to experiment a little further. you excitedly told hongjoong about your hopes to compose and produce a harmony heavy vocal track, and he was all for it. you worked on the music for it last night, bringing about half of the song to hongjoong for you to play around with today. you both agreed it'd be good to have a guide version ready before you share it with the entire vocal line, so seonghwa offered to help out, too. he's in the booth now as you and hongjoong instruct him from your seats behind the soundboard. he finishes the final layer for the first harmony, and you wait as hongjoong lines it all up. he plays the snippet for you and seonghwa, and you notice both boys are waiting for your reaction.

"that was great, seonghwa," you encourage him. "i really liked it, but..."

"don't be shy," hongjoong nudges you, "he can take it."

"i can," seonghwa agrees. "give it to me straight. did it suck?"

"no, it was really beautiful actually," you assure him. "but for the melody, could you make it more...monotone? that might sound weird, but we're trying to play with the high and low harmony like they're the angel and devil sitting on your shoulder, and for those to stand out the melody needs to be less...captivating."

"you hear that? she thinks your voice is captivating," hongjoong smiles to seonghwa, and he beams at you.

"i get that," he nods. "can i try it another way?"

you help hongjoong reset, and then seonghwa tries another layer in a sadder voice. it's just as powerful, but will be the perfect conduit for the story you're trying to tell. when he finishes, they look to you again and find you smiling proudly.

"that was it," you nod. "great job."

"thanks boss," seonghwa says as he steps out of the booth. "who do you want me to bring in next?"

"you can call san, we'll get him to do the high part and then-"

"san?" you look at hongjoong. "i thought seonghwa was doing the guide vocals."

"well, usually we could do with just one voice, but this song would work best with three distinct voices," hongjoong explains. "i don't think the guys would get it if it's harder to distinguish the different levels, you know?"

"right," you agree, just a little dejected.

"so..." seonghwa trails off. "should i go get him?"

"yeah, tell him to meet us here in ten," hongjoong tells him. seonghwa says his goodbyes and then hoongjoong turns to you. "you alright?"

"i'm good," you reply. "feel a little in over my head, but good."

"you're doing great," hongjoong says, placing his hand over yours on the desk. "it's a lot to jump into, and i'm sorry if it seemed like i was-"

"no, i needed the insight-"

"because i value your opinion-"

"i know that-"

"and-" hongjoong is cut off from finishing his thought because the studio door opens to reveal san. he's wearing another skin tight t shirt, black this time, so even if you spilled another coffee on him it would be harder to notice. he's paired it with a beanie and baggy black pants, and if what you're seeing is correct, he's not wearing any underwear. he stands there staring at you both before his eyes fall to your hand still beneath hongjoong's, and the two of you separate like you've just been shocked.

"i'm not interrupting anything, am i?" san asks suspiciously, and you viciously shake your head as hongjoong tells san to get into the booth. he explains the idea to san and queues up seonghwa's melody as san struggles to put the headphones on over his hat, so you lean into the mic and suggest, "try taking the hat off, maybe?"

"thanks, big help," he says sarcastically. he listens anyway, tossing his beanie away like he's mad at it. "so what am i doing? copying hwa?"

"no," you say sternly. "you're singing the high harmony. we'll layer it over seonghwa's vocals, but your voice needs to be distinct. you can practice if you want-"

"i don't need to practice," san cuts you off, staring daggers at you. "just play it." he keeps his eyes on you as he listens, and you feel nervous. he's listening to your song, your lyrics, and you think you see the slightest flicker of emotion in his eyes as seonghwa's voice fades. he doesn't comment on it, just continues staring at you and says, "yeah, got it. you can record this."

"let's listen to it first, and then record the next one," you tell hongjoong, and he nods in agreement. you watch san get ready, and then you hear the most beautiful falsetto flowing over your track. it makes you emotional, and it's another instance of the coolness of your job hitting you. you're so mesmerized you miss san finishing on a bit of a creative note, so the boys are staring, waiting for your input.

"y/n?" hongjoong calls your name. "what'd you think?"

"that was," you clear your throat, "that was perfect, san."

"great," he nods, taking the headphones off, but you stop him.

"ah, we need to record it," you remind him, and you catch his groan through the mic.

"i thought i said to record that one?"

"you don't decide that," you reply, and hongjoong tries to diffuse.

"she has a specific vision for the song, so we wanted to hear you first and then decide if there were any notes before we record you."

"what's the vision?" san asks you, and he listens intently as you explain. when you're done, he takes a deep breath and says clearly into the mic, "that sounds stupid. but i'll do it again. make sure you're recording this time."

"whatever you say, asshole," you mumble, angrily getting the track ready for his bratty voice. you wish you could stay mad at him, but as soon as he starts to sing you're enchanted. again, you get distracted by his voice, the emotion in it and all over his face as he sings, and you think, if he says your idea was stupid, why was he putting so much heart into just a guide vocal? he finishes and you thank him, saving the track quickly before you turn to hongjoong and inform him you need a water break. he's left in the studio with san as he saunters out, but hongjoong meets him at the door.

"what's your problem?" he barks, livid at the way san was treating you during that session.

"uh, you're blocking my exit?" he asks, but that was the wrong thing to say. hongjoong dives into a lecture about respect, and san has to laugh. "oh, you want me to respect the girl who spilled coffee all over me yesterday? who thinks, on her second day, she can tell me how to do my job?"

"she's a producer, her job is to literally tell you what to do-"

"well i'm sorry i hurt your girlfriend's feelings," san spits. "but i did what you asked me to do, so please let me leave." hongjoong steps to the side, still fuming, and san walks out. you catch him in the hall as you return, and you want to stop him, to tell him how great he sounded, but when you lift your hand in greeting he turns the other way and disappears.

you get a break from work later that day and find jen making a coffee. she sees you coming and has a cup ready for you to make your own, and you catch up on your days as your coffee brews. you tell her about san's lovely time with you in the studio, and jen listens, but when you finish she asks, "and he was still like this after you said you liked his muscles?"

"i'm not telling him that," you mumble.

"telling who what?" wooyoung asks as he pops around the corner.

"mind your business?" jen replies. "have you met y/n yet? she's the new producer."

"no, but i've heard mixed reviews," wooyoung says as he dramatically shakes your hand. "can't wait to decide which side i'm on."

"there's sides?" you ask nervously.

"yep," he says with a pop on the p. "hongjoong and seonghwa worship the ground you walk on. san hates your guts, although i'm not sure why. you seem lovely."

"she is lovely," jen points out.

"hm," wooyoung squints playfully. "guess we'll have to wait and see."

"what about innocent until proven guilty?" you ask. "just assume you'll like me and then you will!"

"yeah, but san is a good judge of character," wooyoung shakes his head. "if he doesn't like you, then he's got a reason."

"is the reason because he's maleficent?"

"oo, maleficent, i like that," wooyoung coos. he turns to jen and asks, "why don't you use big words like that?"

"i'm afraid you wouldn't get them," she sighs.

"try me, i'm full of surprises baby," he winks at her before smacking her ass and walking away. you watch in confusion, and she waves it off.

"don't worry, he does that sometimes."

"to everybody?!"

"just to me," she shrugs, and then it clicks.

"he's your fling," you smile. "very nice."

"nuh uh."

"no, he totally is. that's elmo," you piece it together. "is that his nickname because of his laugh?"

"you were never supposed to meet him," jen defends herself.

"so getting me a job here wouldn't interfere with that?"

"i figured i could keep it a secret," she pouts.

"you did! for a whopping 36 hours, good job!"

"don't patronize me," she complains. "i could call san and have him here in seconds-"

"oh man, i need to go record something," you frown, "maybe you two could talk though? figure out why he's got an all burning hatred for me, an angel?"

"i'll get to the bottom of it," jen says, and you realize the error you've just made.

"wait, no, don't talk to him, please," you beg.

"too late, you've asked for my help, so i'll help," jen concedes easily. "he'll either love you or simply tolerate you by the end of the week, i promise."

"great, thanks..."

you've made it through your first week, yippee! you really like it here, you fit in well with the members, and the producers seem to really like your ideas. the only problem is san. you enter a room that he's in and it goes quiet. he passes you in the hall, and you're fuming for the rest of the day. everyone knows about your little rivalry at this point, but no one understands where it came from. even jen, who was determined to make you and san best friends, has lost hope.

you're able to make it a couple days without any more san run ins, and for that you are grateful. you and hongjoong have made a lot of progress on the vocal line track, and he's invited you to a few writing sessions with mingi for the rap line track. you're feeling invincible after one of those sessions, walking back to your studio, when you get the scare of your life. you enter the code to your studio, guard completely down, and jump out of your skin when you see someone sitting at your desk.

"what the fuck?!" you shriek, using the door as a shield. you peek around it and see that it's not an intruder. well, at least not one that wants to hurt you. maybe. it's san, so this interaction could go in any direction.

"hello," he says simply. "nice way to greet your guest."

"how'd you get into my studio?" you ask as you close the door. you wonder if you should keep it cracked open, just in case you and san get into it and you need a witness that he probably started it.

"i needed to ask you a question," san responds instead, and you cock your head in confusion. "i can't do that?"

"i don't know, can you?"

"your song. the vocal one. how's it going?"

you're surprised this is what he wanted to talk about but, honestly, what else were you expecting? this is a normal work interaction, you think. you're just not used to having those with san. since san is sitting in your desk chair, you pull your stool over to the desk pathetically and perch on top of it as you shoot san a glare.

"can you move over? i need to get to my keyboard."

"aw, can't reach over my muscles?" san teases, and you feel your blood run cold.

"what?"

"my muscles? little birdie told me you liked them."

"what are you doing in my studio, san."

"i wanted to hear your song," he shrugs. you wait for him to move out of the way, but apparently that's not happening. you grumble as you lean over him and type, pulling the project file up on your screen. you check the volume before you hit play and look back to see san watching you intently. he's close, your arms brushing and his head only a few inches from yours. you hold his gaze for a second and then hit play, sitting back as you watch him listen. you can't read his expression as the song plays, but you don't care what he has to say. you love this song, and you think it's turning out great. whatever he has to say isn't important to you-

"wow," he whistles. "i get it now."

"get what?"

"why you're so pretentious about your work," san smirks as he side eyes you.

"is that supposed to be an insult?" you ask, trying to gauge his reaction.

"not really," he shakes his head.

"well it's not a compliment," you tell him.

"i'll work on that," he says as he stands. he puts his hands on your desk to support himself as he rises, and you swear to god, he's flexing his arms a ridiculous amount. nobody needs that much upper body strength just to get out of a rolley chair.

"hey!" you call as he walks away. "what the hell?"

"do you have to curse all the time?" san asks with look of distaste. "it's not very polite."

"nor are you."

"nice," he nods. "well, i'll be around-"

"no, wait, why'd you come in here?" you ask as you follow him out of your studio. "you just wanted to listen to the song?"

"yeah?" he shrugs, turning to face you in the hallway. he's standing so close you have to lean back to look at him properly, and you frown.

"i don't believe you."

"why not?" san smirks. "you wanted me in your studio for another reason?"

"no-"

"you're not the only one who likes to stare, doll," he says quietly, leaning down so his ears are just barely brushing your ear. he straightens back up before you can melt into a puddle on the floor, and then he smiles what might be his first genuine smile in your presence. "so maybe i didn't just come here for the song. but now i've heard it, and i know don't hate it, so i think we're done here."

and with that very confusing information, san walks away.

san is tired. he's been practicing for their seoul concert since the early hours of the morning, and he needs a break. it's almost an acceptable time to eat lunch, so he grabs his things and starts the short walk to his favorite convenience store. he likes this one because it's got a seating area in the back where he can eat, giving him some time to himself. it's secluded enough he doesn't have to worry about being bothered, but it has a good view of the street outside so he can people watch. it's the perfect spot for him to rest and enjoy his food, so he leaves the company with a pep in his step.

he grabs all of his favorites, moving on autopilot, and pays for them quickly. he takes everything back to his usual table and prepares his feast. now that he's stopped working, he feels the tiredness in his bones and realizes how hungry he actually was. when did he eat last? was it dinner? that was more than twelve hours ago, so maybe he can get away with eating another ramen before he goes...

san is considering whether or not he should get up and grab more food as he stares through the store window. there's people rushing to work, couples going to lunch, families wrangling kids. he watches with a smile as one family, a mother and father, try to handle what looks like a girl and two twins. that job is way harder than anything he's doing as an idol, he thinks. he watches fondly as they walk away, and when he turns back, his smile falls.

you and hongjoong are crossing the street, engaged in some conversation that's making you both laugh. you make a joke that sends a laugh crashing up from within hongjoong's chest, and san scoffs as he watches you stare in admiration. hongjoong rushes forward and opens the door to the convenience store for you, and san hears the end of your sentence as you enter.

"-didn't have to do that," san catches, and he hears hongjoong make a dismissive sound in response. "wow, there's a lot of food here."

"you see why we like this place so much," hongjoong responds. san can't see you, but your voices are getting closer. "there's something for everyone."

"there's so much, i don't know what to pick..." you trail off.

"get whatever you want," hongjoong says. "it's on me."

"what? no-"

"ah ah, no arguments. consider it a welcome gift."

"well thank you," san hears you squeak, and he can just imagine the way you must be blushing, looking at hongjoong so shyly, pretending to be coy-

"oh, hey san," hongjoong greets. you come to a stop behind him, bumping into his back, and san has to laugh. "didn't know you were here."

"didn't tell anyone i was leaving," san shrugs. he leans over, trying to catch your eye, and waves. "hi y/n."

"hi san."

"are you eating here?" san asks, and hongjoong shakes his head.

"ah, no, we were just taking a break," he replies. "i was going to buy us lunch and then we're gonna head back."

"got it," san nods, still looking at you. "carry on then."

"thanks for your permission," you mumble, holding onto the back of hongjoong's shirt as he turns you down another aisle. he starts looking for a snack he wants you try, but he can't see it. he looks up, eyes flitting around the store, and his face lights up.

"oh! it's over there! be right back!" he runs off, and you continue scanning the shelves. you're not that hungry, but you know you won't have time to leave again, so you need to get enough food for lunch and dinner probably. you're reading the ingredients on one of the prepackaged meals when you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see san looming above, and you jump.

"shit," you hiss. "wear a bell."

"need help pronouncing the big words?" he asks.

"yeah, come closer and let me show you."

"you having fun?" san sneers, and your confused expression makes him clarify, "with your boyfriend."

"what?"

"oh come on, letting him buy your lunch, holding onto him like that...you're eating it up, aren't you?"

"i don't know what you mean," you say as you step around san, but your face is red. he's getting to you.

"it's cute, really," he says, beating you to the end of the aisle. he puts his arm out, effectively blocking your way, and he continues staring down at you in that frustrating way of his. like he wants to swallow you whole. "how long do you think it'll last?"

"if you're asking about my patience i'm afraid that ship sailed a while ago," you try to fight back, but san just laughs.

"you're cute, you know? you try to be so tough, but it doesn't work. i see right through you."

"and what do you see?" you ask as you cross your arms. san bares his teeth, ready to quip back, but his eyes catch on something behind you. you look over your shoulder and see hongjoong holding up a bag, a confused look in his eyes.

"found the sweet potatoes," he says as he approaches. "what are you doing?"

"getting to know our coworker," san says nonchalantly, removing himself from your personal space. "i'll let you go. my food's getting cold."

"sure," hongjoong says skeptically, reaching for you. he tries to guide you away with his hand at your back, but you can feel san's eyes still on you. you turn and his hand politely falls away, but san's eyes follow you through the rest of the store. he gets an idea when you go back to the drink coolers, so san finishes his food quickly and heads to the front.

when you and hongjoong are finally ready to pay, you go to the register and hongjoong reaches for his wallet. the woman behind the counter shakes her head, showing a stack of bills to tell you it's been taken care of. you look around and find san halfway out the door, a wicked smile on his face. he waves at you teasingly before the door dings closed, and hongoong happily takes the food, babbling about how nice san is as you leave.

later that day, the boys are getting fitted for their tour outfits. each practice room has been converted into a walk in closet + vanity combo, so you peek your head in to see how it's going. jen spots you and waves you over to her station, and you duck through the racks of clothes to say hi to your friend. you're taken aback when you see who she's working on, but jen laughs and assures you it's ok.

"he won't bite, he's asleep," she says about the pouting san she's working on currently. "he was here all night, apparently. he knocked out before i could even say hi."

"are you sure he's asleep and not faking it?" you ask as you tentatively sit in the chair next to him. it's enough distance away that you're not concerned by the proximity, but you keep an eye on him as you talk. "maybe he doesn't want to talk."

"hey, san likes me, so i know he's not faking it," jen tells you. "he and i get along really well."

"congratulations," you mumble as you reach for a makeup brush to play with. "so how was your day?"

you and jen catch up as she works on san, periodically asking for your opinion on the look she's created for him. you know she's trying to get you to say something nice about him, to slip up and call him handsome or sexy, but you won't budge. all the compliments you give are very makeup forward, but she won't let up. she's also not being gentle in her application, so you really are afraid san is awake and listening. she's almost done with him when wooyoung walks up, greeting you happily.

"hey y/n!" he chirps. "nice to see you! you're in my seat."

"oh, my bad," you scramble to get up. you got comfortable, your feet propped on one of the giant makeup cases before you. jen puts a hand out to stop you, turning to wooyoung with a trying-to-be-stern look in her eyes.

"my friend and i are not done talking."

"well your boss told me to come over here and get my makeup done, so unless you want me to stand..." wooyoung trails off as jen finishes with san's face. she turns to him and nods.

"standing is fine," she says, quickly getting to work on wooyoung's base layer. "i'll work fast so you don't have to stand long."

"but then i don't get to bug you as long," wooyoung whines.

"life's cruel like that, huh?"

"come on, i know i'm your favorite part of this job," wooyoung teases, and you share a silent laugh with him as jen blushes profusely. once wooyoung catches your eye, his attention turns to you, and he asks, "what about you, y/n? now that you've been here a few days, what's your favorite part of this job?"

"san's abs," jen answers for you, and you try your best to kick her. you accidentally nudge san's chair and freeze, but he doesn't stir.

"oh yeah? let's tell him-"

"no!" you shout, and if he wasn't awake now he definitely is. he still doesn't move, but you continue in a softer voice, "um, no. don't do that. uhh, my favorite part of the job...i don't wanna be a kiss ass, but it's probably working with hongjoong."

"of course it is," san mumbles, and even though he spoke quietly it makes you jump. he opens his eyes and your skin sets fire as soon as he looks at you. "you're in wooyoung's chair."

"he's having jen time," you counter. "let him enjoy it."

"yeah, let me enjoy it!" wooyoung agrees.

"san, what do you think of the eye makeup i did? tried something new," jen says as she focuses on wooyoung's eyes now. san sits up and looks in the mirror, but he's not looking at himself. he's watching you pretend like a strand on your sweater is the most interesting thing in the world, so he decides to call your attention.

"y/n? what do you think?" san asks, and you meet his gaze through the mirror. you're shocked to realize he's checking you out, blatantly, your cardigan falling off your shoulder to reveal your bra underneath. you were in a rush this morning and thought that would be enough. surely no one would notice you weren't wearing a tank, since this bra could pass as long as your sweater stayed up. but right now it's not, so san can see an entire cup, and he's almost drooling. instead of answering his question you look over at jen and repeat your earlier compliments as you pull your sweater tight around your torso.

"yeah, it looks good," you say again. "now that he's awake and you can see his eyes, you did a good job, uh, highlighting them."

"eloquent," san chides, and this time you intentionally kick his chair. he grabs your ankle before you can pull back, and tugs, bringing you closer.

"big word," wooyoung whispers, and you can hear jen smack him as you lift your eyes to san's. he's looking at you with that hungry gaze you're coming to get used to, and he rewords his question.

"what do you like about it specifically?" he tries as he leans in, and you hold your breath as you stare. this is closer than you've ever been, and you can smell hints of cologne that have your head spinning. alarms are going off in your head to run, but with san's hand still on your leg, you're trapped.

"you drool in your sleep, you know that?" you decide to say, ignoring his question completely. he's surprised enough that his grip on you loosens and you're able to bolt from the chair, grabbing your things as you say a quick goodbye to jen and wooyoung. they're watching on, amused with your little show, and when you're fully out of the room san collapses back into the chair with a groan.

"she's right," jen says. "i had to get napkins to mop up your spit."

"sorry," san grumbles.

"when are you gonna tell her?" wooyoung asks, and san makes a confused sound to encourage him to explain. "y/n. when are you gonna say that you're into her?"

"i'm not into her," san rolls his eyes.

"yeah, right," wooyoung laughs. "and me and jen aren't fucking."

"hey!" and another smack. they continue bickering as san stares at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes falling to the chair you just occupied.

the next few days, you spend a lot of time in your studio. too much maybe, but you need to get this vocal track finished. all the boys have recorded their parts, and now it's down to you to get the final mix to the other producers by monday. it's friday now, and you know you can't pull any all nighters this weekend - the boys want you to come to their shows, so you'd like to be finished with the track before you leave today.

it's weird, being here so late at night. you think you're the last one left, hongjoong left with the rest of the members and the producers started trickling out about two hours ago. you don't mind being here on your own, you know the security is fine, but it's still eerie. when you got another coffee just now, you caught yourself jumping at the slightest sounds. you could've sworn you heard footsteps following you, but after investigating you realized it was the sound of your own that scared you. you hunker down for another spell in your studio, and you get a lot closer to the product you want. hongjoong kept telling you it didn't need to be perfect, it still had to go through critiques so it would probably change a lot, but you can't let your first project here be a mess. it at least needs to meet your standards, so you keep working.

you're not sure how much later it is, but you wake yourself when your head falls off your propped up arm. you fell asleep listening to the final track, wanting to check for any mistakes, so you don't know how long it's been looping while you slept. you listen through one last time, almost satisfied, but you hear something that sounds off. you try another listen, and realize it's not coming from your speakers, it's coming from somewhere else.

heart racing, you press your ear to the door of your studio and curse the sound proofing. you can make out a noise, but not enough to figure out what it is from the safety of this room. you look around for a weapon, something to protect you, and all you see are stray wires. you find one long enough and wrap it around your fists, pulling the wire taught between them. worst case scenario you garrote the intruder and then call for help, but you're being dramatic. whatever is out there can't be a threat, can it?

you open your studio door and follow the sound. in your tired state, you recognize a song, but you can't place it or where it's coming from. you tiptoe down the hall toward the practice rooms, and spy light coming from a door at the end of the hall. so it must be one of the members, you think. or maybe the bb trippin guys came early to prep for the show. whatever it is, you keep walking, aware now that the song you heard is wake up, one of your favorites. the boys were cryptic about the setlist, wanting it to be a surprise for you this weekend, but you get excited at the thought of what kind of mystical performance they could do for this song. when you reach the door, you stop cold, seeing maybe the last person you expected it to be.

san is dancing, quite sexually, to the music bumping through the speakers. he's in baggy sweats and a tank top that shows off his figure and his ridiculously chiseled muscles, and you can't help it. you stare, watching in awe as he drops it low and grinds around to a song you never expected to be portrayed like this. as he's on the ground, a tie hanging from his teeth, his eyes flick to yours through the mirror. you gasp, and he smirks, somehow able to catch the sound of your breath hitching over the loud music. he feels proud of himself, knowing he's got you so shocked, but when he finishes the portion he's working on, he looks to the mirror and you're gone.

you're rushing down the hall back to your studio. what the fuck was that. you had a physical reaction to san, and not a good one. and he saw you! that's humiliating, you'll never be able to look at him again-

"where ya goin doll?" his deep voice asks. he's right behind you, and before you can sprint off to your studio, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the nearest door. when you come face to face, he's breathing heavy, and you assume that's because of the intense choreography he just worked through. little do you know, being this close to you, smelling that annoying perfume that follows you around, touching you, all of this is taking his breath away. his hands trail down your shoulders to your hands, and he looks at you quizzically when he finds the wire wrapped tightly in your fists. "what's this?"

"i, uh, i thought i was the only one here? so when i heard something i looked for uh. i wanted something to protect myself with," you explain, embarrassed by how dramatic that sounds.

"you're a badass," san chuckles, lifting your hands by the wire hanging between them.

"i thought cursing wasn't polite," you remind him of his own words, and he laughs again.

"i just said that to piss you off."

"you're insufferable," you groan, trying to twist away from the man in front of you.

"and you're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?" he smiles at you evilly. "can't get away, little kitten?"

"let go of me, san," you say steadily, but he just keeps smiling.

"why would i? i've finally got you right where i want you."

"what?" you breathe out.

"you couldn't tell? i've wanted you since i laid eyes on you."

"wanted me?" you scoff. "i'm not a steak."

"but you went and spilled that coffee on me, and then you were so delightful during our recording session, i just kept falling harder and harder for you," he teases.

"you're shit at showing how you feel."

"and you're shit at hiding how you feel," he smirks. "i know you want me, doll. that's why i acted the way i did. it was fun messing with you, letting you think i hated you. wanted to see how far i could push it."

"that's so middle school of you san," you complain, pushing your finger into his chest. "if you were a real man you would've done something about this already instead of playing a bunch of games."

"if i was a real man?" he chuckles lowly, and he's so close you feel it in your stomach. "baby, you haven't been with a real man til you've been with me."

"prove it," you whisper, but your breath gets caught as san pulls your hands above your head by the wire still wrapped around them. he holds your wrists in place as his other hand squeezes your waist, and he watches you squirm with glee in his eyes.

"prove it? you sure you can handle me doll?"

"do your your worst," you smirk, and then he's crashing his lips to yours. the kiss is fierce, all teeth and tongue, and you gasp as his hand travels up your waist and beneath your shirt. he traces the skin beneath your hoodie, smirking into your lips when he discovers you're not wearing a bra.

"i like it when you make things easy for me," he breathes out against your neck, his lips making their way across your skin and leaving little marks as he pleases. his hand beneath your shirt traces beneath each breast before leaving a featherlight trail to your nipple, and he surprises you with a quick pinch. you gasp again, giving him a chance to return his lips to your mouth and press his tongue past your lips. he kisses you one last time before pulling from your lips, asking, "should we take this inside?"

"wha?" you murmur, twisting to look at the door behind you. "but, san, this isn't my studio-"

"i know, it's hongjoong's," he says as he punches the code in. "he won't mind."

"i do!" you squeak out as san opens the door and pushes you inside. "san, seriously, we're not having sex in here!"

"we're having sex?" san teases, and you use your newly released hands to beat against his chest. "take that stupid wire off, baby. you're gonna need your hands."

"for what?" you grumble, listening to him anyway. when your hands are free, you notice the little indents left from the wire, and san surprises you by taking your hands into his softly. his thumb rubs over the raw skin, and he stares darkly at you as he lifts your hands to his lips. he kisses over the sore spots and up your wrists, whining cutely when he hits the fabric of your shirt.

"take this off," he tugs on your sleeve, and you shake your head.

"only if you take your shirt off too," you counter, and he easily lets go of you to remove his tank top. you hate the way you're staring, but you can't help it. he's beautiful, and you're mesmerized. he calls your name, the first time he's said it all night, and you find his eyes staring at you softly. "right, sorry," you mumble, pulling your hoodie off, not so accidentally catching it on your tits so they release with a bounce. san groans as he watches on, and then his hands are on you again, cupping your tits and teasing your nipples. you moan softly, reaching for his head to pull him into another kiss. your hands wrap around to his neck, one sweeping down to feel his soft, sweaty skin. you trace over the muscles in his chest, the lines of his abs, and end at his waistband. his hand reaches down to stop you before you can continue, and he pulls back to ask, "do you trust me?"

"do i trust you? not completely," you answer honestly. "maybe you don't hate me as much as you made me believe, but i still think you're despicable."

"if i'm so despicable why are you letting me use you like a toy?" he jokes, pushing you down into hongjoong's desk chair. "if you trust me, i want you to do something for me. if you don't, tell me to shut up, and we'll go back to having sex. but it'll be more boring that way."

"can i get that in writing, you saying that sex with you is boring?" you tease, and san growls as he captures your lips in another kiss. he's caging you in, and when he releases your lips, he leans his forehead against yours as he speaks.

"start a new file on his computer," san says lowly. "and hit record when i say."

"you're kidding."

"like i said, do it if you trust me," he shrugs, his hands moving from the armrests to your waist. he starts tugging your pants down as he continues. "if you don't trust me, then we just fuck like normal and go on with our lives."

"san, i-"

"are you gonna make the file?" he asks, kneeling in front of you. you open and close your mouth like a fish, but then you're moving without thinking. you twist in his hold, punching in hongjoong's password and finding the mixing app. you start a new project, label it inconspicuously, and then settle back in the chair. san is looking at you proudly, and he praises you, "good girl."

"what now?" you ask quietly, and san separates your legs further. he starts kissing up your leg, starting at your knee, and when he gets to your panties, he whispers, "i make you come."

he pulls yours panties down then, hissing as he watches your arousal cling to the fabric, and he smiles. "oh, she's pretty."

"i didn't know you were capable of giving me a compliment," you quip, and san bites your thigh to shut you up.

"wasn't talking to you," he says against your skin, leaving kisses along the inside of your thigh until he reaches your core. he brings his hands up to spread you open for him, and he stares in admiration at how wet you are, just for him. he leans in and you wait to feel his lips, his tongue, something, but instead you feel something wet land on your clit. san spit on your pussy, and he brings his hand up to rub the sensitive spot as he blows on your entrance.

"i thought you said you were gonna make me come," you whine, and he nods.

"i will. when i want to."

"san-" you whimper, lifting your hips as he continues playing with your clit and neglecting the rest of you.

"you want more doll?" he asks, his eyes staring at you darkly. you look down at him and nod, but he pinches your thigh in response. "words, baby."

"want more, san," you groan. "need your tongue."

"hit record and i'll give you what you want," he smirks below you, and you're so horny you can't even think about fighting back. you turn around and press record, san's lips finding your clit immediately. he licks over the bundle of nerves, prodding a finger at your entrance as he listens to your sweet moans. he fucks his finger into you once, twice, then adds another. you whine above him, your hands catching on his hair as you try to push him closer. he licks up every drop of you, fucking you on his fingers, and moans into your pussy for good measure. the vibration seends you reeling, and you whisper out, "fuck, san."

"who?"

"san, fuck! feels so good."

"yeah? you wanna come?" he asks, leaning his head on your thigh as he stares at you writhing above him. you're watching him with hooded eyes as he adds another finger, fucking you open for him. you lift your hips again, trying to make him move faster. "d'you still hate me, doll?"

"no," you whisper shyly, and he smiles.

"say it louder."

"i don't hate you," you moan out, his fingers scissoring you open as his lips return to your clit. he sucks harshly, and you let out a whine that turns into a frustrated scream. "faster."

"hm?"

"faster, please," you beg, "please, please, fuck. 'm gonna come."

"let me hear you, baby," he mumbles into your core. "who's making you feel so good?"

"san, you, fuck-" your voice tapers off as you hold your breath and crash into your release. you're clenching around san so deliciously, he groans into your clit and does his best to help you ride out your high. you're trying to catch your breath as. san cleans you up, slurping obscenely, and in your post-nut clarity you realize what you've done. you turn around, frantically trying to stop the recording, but san stands above you and catches your hands again.

"what are you doing?" he growls, and you blubber out a response.

"he can't, we can't, i have to delete it, i'm not-"

"not what? not enjoying yourself?" san asks. "because i'm looking at a dripping pussy that tells a different story."

"we need to go somewhere else," you hiss, and san shakes his head.

"i think we're doing fine right here," he smirks, kissing you deeply so you can taste yourself on his tongue. you bite his bottom lip as he tries to pull away, and he groans.

"is it my turn now?" you ask, and you watch fire spark across san's eyes.

"your turn to what, baby?"

"drive you insane?" you ask innocently, pushing san away so you can stand. you keep pushing him until he hits the wall, and you drop to your knees. you waste no time pulling his pants down, revealing his lack of underwear. you look up at him and ask, "you makin things easy for me, babe?"

"no," he smirks down at you. "bet you can't even fit it in your mouth."

"you're full of yourself," you point out as you spit into your hand. you bring it to his cock, stroking over his soft skin. "you liked eating me out this much?"

"it wasn't bad," san nods. "wouldn't mind doing it again."

"maybe later," you mumble, bringing his tip to your lips. you spit again, watching as it dribbles down his shaft, you stroke him a few more times, flicking your tongue over his tip teasingly. he's trying so hard not to lose it above you, and the way he's biting his lip to keep quiet pisses you off. without warning, you swallow him whole, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you try to fit him all in your mouth. he cries out above you, his hands tangling in your hair. he pulls you off of him completely, gasping for breath above you. "hey. i wasn't done."

"not gonna last," he says shyly, and you feel your ego grow ten sizes. "need to fuck you."

"eh, i'm getting tired-"

"shut up," he growls, pulling you up by your hair and slamming his lips into yours again. "go bend over his desk."

"you're sick," you tell him, obeying anyway.

"you're into it," san says cockily, adjusting your hips as he comes up behind you. "make sure you're right up to the mic, doll. wanna hear this." you hate yourself for it, but you find the mic in front of you and pull it closer. you feel his hands on your ass, pulling you apart as he stares at your pussy again. "so pretty for me," he sighs, removing a hand to bring his cock to your entrance. he teases your hole a few times, laughing when you jerk back and try to catch his tip. "impatient girl."

"just fuck me," you say clearly, and he responds by giving you exactly what you want. he thrusts into you, splitting you open, and you moan so loud it's embarrassing. san stays still, giving you a minute to adjust, but you start fucking back into him, and he gets the hint. he grabs onto your ass again, and then he's fucking into with no control. your mouth hangs open as he fucks you hard and fast, and san frowns. he smacks your ass and feels you clench around him as he barks, "lemme hear you." so you moan, and whine, and altogether let go. you're a babbling mess, mumbling incoherently about how good it feels, how he fucks you just right, how his cock is perfect, you can't stop. san is eating it up, fucking into you so deep you can feel him in your gut.

too soon, he's pulling out, and you let out a pathetic cry. san pulls you up by your hips, his hands smoothing over your skin, as he explains, "wanna watch you when you come." he helps you sit on hongjoong's desk, lifting your legs up so you're completely exposed to him. he holds your thighs open and tries to fuck back into you, but you have to help him, taking his wet cock and guiding it back to your entrance. he thrusts into you, slotting his hips against yours, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. he should've fucked you like this the whole time, he thinks, because he can't stop staring. you look so perfect, so blissed out, and it spurs him on. he holds one thigh down as his other hand wraps around your waist, holding you in place as he fucks you.

"i'm gonna come, baby," he warns. "where do you want it?"

"my stomach," you gasp out. "wanna see it."

"fuck, you're insane."

"don't slow down," you whine, holding onto san's broad shoulders like your life depends on it. you let him fuck you senseless, clenching around him as you get closer. he brings his hand around to rub his thumb over your clit, and you jerk away in sensitivity. "can't take it, san, gonna come-"

"then come for me," he begs. "need you to come first."

"fuck, san, fuck," you gasp, digging into his shoulders as you hold him in place. you clench around him until he can't take it anymore, and he pulls out, his forehead against yours as you watch him stroke himself. he comes quickly, painting your skin, and you moan breathlessly as you watch him empty himself over you. "fuck, that's hot."

"we should do that again," san smirks at you, and you playfully push against his chest. you leave your hands on him as you respond, "not now. i'm exhausted."

"how long have you been here?" san asks, sudden concern in his voice.

"too long," you sigh, noticing how raw your throat feels. you cough, your back bumping into the mic behind you. "oh shit. i need to turn this off." you look at san as you crouch down, saving the file and sending it to yourself. "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?"

"listen to it when you get lonely?" san jokes, and you push him. "use it in a song, maybe?"

"that would get me fired," you inform him, making sure you've deleted all traces of it from hongjoong's computer. satisfied, you turn to san and cross your arms over your chest. "was this your plan all along? you get me to record a salacious audio and then blackmail me with it?"

"you still think i hate you?" he asks, brushing your hair behind your ear. "bummer. thought we'd moved past that after your first orgasm."

"i'm just saying, if this was an elaborate plan to get me to leave, i commend the effort-"

"y/n," he says softly, and you meet his eyes. they're serious for once, which is odd. "i don't hate you, and i don't want to get you fired."

"good to know," you squeak. his gaze is too intense for you, so you start looking for your clothes and then remember the mess on your stomach. "oh, yuck-"

"here, let me clean you up," san says, searching for tissues. he holds onto you carefully as he wipes up his release, pulling a few extra tissues to clean the mess between your legs.

"see, if you'd just let me help you like this on my first day, we wouldn't have been mortal enemies for so long," you joke.

"yeah, but we wouldn't have fucked like that if i had been nice to you from the start."

"so what now?" you ask as you get dressed. "you said you wanna do that again?"

"don't you?" san asks, his pants halfway up his legs. you unashamedly stare at his cock before you respond, but he's got his answer.

"i mean, if you want-"

"i do," he interjects. "whenever you want me. i'll be there."

"is this what everyone means, when they say you're so nice?" you ask genuinely. san comes over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist before he kisses you.

"guess you'll have to find out, huh?"

#san #ateez #choi san #ateez smut #ateez one shot #ateez imagine #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #san x reader #san fic #san smut #san one shot #san imagine #choi san x reader #choi san smut #choi san imagine #choi san one shot

724 notes · View notes

27thswan · 5 months

Text

❝ 𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞. ❞ hsr x reader

synopsis. you couldn't help but feel jealous, he's been spending more time with someone else, and you feel like there's suddenly another person in the picture, you can't help but think if he's.. falling out of love?

warnings. angst to comfort if you squint but more comfort and fluff, jealous reader

author's name. one of the only angst stuff on my old blog hello??!!

pairings. multi hsr men x gn!reader

doesn't realize 'till you tell him ・caelus, gepard, luocha, arlan, yanqing, dan heng, dr ratio

huh? why are you sad? did he do something wrong? are his first thoughts, your little frown and puppy eyes didn't help much either, he helps a lot of people and talks to a lot of people, why are you sad? he just came back home and all he sees is your saddest expression yet, did he forget any events? no.. are you gonna... break up with him..? no no, it's too early for that, right? as he pushes these thoughts aside, he sat down beside you on his bed, your face with your tear-stained cheeks, and like there were still a bit of water swelling up in your eyes, all he could do was hold your hand, and ask what's wrong? did he do something you didn't like? are you hurt? was he not there in time? worried thoughts began to arise as more silence occurred.. "are you falling out of love with me?" the words really hit him like a bullet through his heart, never in a million years would he ever fall out of love with someone as thrilling, heart-throbbing, amazing, beautiful, pretty, or handsome as you, never in ten of thousands of centuries would he find someone as graceful as you were, he'd never find another you, but he'd always try, in every life, to find you. but all those negativity in his mind cut short from his heart speaking, instead of his mind thinking, and he couldn't help but let the words of love pour from throughout. couldn't help but cup your face while saying all those kind poet's choice of words. couldn't help but tear up for not noticing sooner. later pulling you into his warm embrace. a smile painted both your faces at the end of that day, and let the night you spent together be filled with love. (not the sexual way smh)

recognizes your little pout of jealousy ・jing yuan, sampo, welt yang, dr ratio

ohoh~ his honey bunny is jealous over his business partner? as soon as he comes again back to your side, "baby, don't worry about them, they're really just talking to me for business, don't pout at me like that.. you're too cute!" but you continued to do the little pout even on the way home, was it really that bad? his sly arm slowly slides over your shoulders as you both got home, "did i do something wrong, babe? you haven't kissed me a single time today, and i can't help but think you're jealous that i've been talking to someone, is that the case, hmm?~" he says, as he places his fingers on your chin, and forcing your gaze onto his, "tell me, are you jealous? just nod if yes, or no." awaiting your answer, all he did was smirk, 'till you gave in and nodding an answer of yes. as he got his taste of victory, he couldn't help but take your kiss as his award, "you shouldn't worry about someone like them, they're nothing compared to you, no one is on the same value as you are to me, you are mine, and i'm yours, no one else's. got that?" as you nodded, he placed kisses all over you, and a special mark, a hickey from him, and the future marks will always and only be from him. and he'll make sure you never feel like that again.

finds you cute when you're jealous (already knew)・blade, jing yuan, welt yang, luocha, argenti

your little frown was honestly the cutest, especially when you have your arms crossed like that! aww, he can't help but let out a laugh! after getting off a phone call from their co-worker, he looks down to see you, you and your adorable frustrated expression, "my my, seems like someone's mad, did something happen?" opening his arms for a hug, but you backed away, and walked off, wow, this might just be serious! we follows you back, "did i something, my beauty?" his snake-like arms slither around your waist, yet you didn't give a reply. "i like this game, let's see who'll break first, winner gets a kiss from the loser, okay?", your only response would be an angry, yet adorable glance. like a kid who didn't get what they wanted from the toy store. as you both arrived into your shared home, he picks you up and lets you land atop his lap. "why are you mad at me beautiful? oh, you must be jealous, no? you saw me talking to someone else other than you.. didn't you?" he asks, placing his head on your shoulder, his words slide off his tongue like honey, and it looked like to him you were panicking, "just give up now, and let me treat you right, i'm very sorry that talking to someone else made you feel like that, cupcake." and all he really wants in return is what you give him, a kiss and cuddles, and maybe more than just that.

w2e & chase atlantic my faves!!

#❛﹒⥥﹒ 🍁 ding ding: a finished show!#hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x male reader #hsr x female reader #hsr fanfic #hsr blade fluff #hsr blade x you #hsr blade #blade hsr #hsr dan heng #hsr blade x reader #hsr dan heng x reader #jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader #jing yuan x you

706 notes · View notes

not-magdi · 4 months

Text

"Us, Forever"

Summary: Pablo can't believe how lucky he got with you, he really can't believe it

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N

I managed to get Corona! The one time I would have had time to write something I got Corona and a Fever that cooked my brain. But, now my test is negative again and my brain is producing ideas like crazy!

Hope you like this one though,

Love you guys Magdi <3

You didn't know what to think when you saw his pain-filled expression on TV. You sat there, completely frozen, worry the only thing on your mind.

When you heard his sobs over the phone as he told you how bad it was, your heart shattered into a million pieces. That day made you realise that from that moment on, you had to be the strong one in this relationship.

It made you realise that he needed you to be the one he could lean on, the one Pablo could let his guard down, somebody that could be strong for him too. So he didn't have to be all the time.

You made it to your mission to do everything in your power to help him in any way possible. You rebuilt your living room into a bedroom, so he didn't have to go up any stairs. You held him day and night when the pain got too strong, and the only thing he could do was cry.

"Baby, I'm here ... I'm here for you. Let it all out I got you."

His grip on your hoddie was so hard that his knuckles turned white. You wrapped your arms around him like you wanted to protect him from everything terrible that this world threw at him.

Pablo felt safe in your arms. Your sent calmed him down. The warmth of your body engulfed him in a comforting manner.

He buried his face deeper into your neck as he felt his breath starting to slow down again.

"T-Thank you, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

You grabbed his head to make him look at you. You assured him, "Hey, it's completely ok to feel like shit sometimes. What you are going through is nothing easy. Sometimes you just have to let it all out."

Kissing his head, you stand up to grab something to eat for the two of you. Seeing that it was already 6 in the morning, you decided to start the day, knowing you two wouldn't fall asleep anymore.

Pablo kept lying on the couch. The pain in his knee was now only a dull ache. He sat up a bit to be able to see you rummaging through his kitchen drawers, trying to find something to eat.

An unconscious smile makes its way onto his face. He can't get his head around how you are willing to do all of this for him. Like he really doesn't know what he would do without you. You'd do everything for him, he doesn't even have to ask for it.

But it scared him that you wanted to help him so much. It frightened him that one day, you could wake up and realise how much work it was to be in a relationship with him. And that you would leave him because of that.

Realistically, something like that would never happen, but he was a chronicle overthinker, so let him be.

When you came back from the kitchen with two plates in your hand, you sensed something was bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you on his own.

You two ate your breakfast in silence, it was a weird kind of silence. You felt that Pablo wanted to tell you something the whole time, but nothing came. He just sat there and played around with his food.

"You not hungry?"

Looking like a child who got caught doing something stupid, he shakes his head and lowers his gaze again, not able to hold eye contact with you for so long.

Thinking he wouldn't say anything at all. You were about to say something when you heard him say. "How do you do it?"

Confused, you look at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like ... like how do you keep up with me?"

Your confusion didn't get any better. You looked up from your plate and saw Pablo already staring at you, a curious yet slightly sad expression on his face.

Pablo noticed your confused expression and continued to talk.

" I mean, how can you keep up with literally having to be my server? You are cancelling your plans to stay home with me and do everything to keep me comfortable. You put my life before yours. Why do you do that? I-I don't understand. "

You loved him deeply and didn't see your efforts as a burden. It was natural for you to do what you could to help him. You couldn't enjoy yourself while he was suffering because it felt wrong to you.

Your silence made Pablo panic a bit, maybe he made you realise that you didn't want to live like that. What if you were actually sick of him needing care 24/7 now?

Your voice interrupted his inner monologue, " I have no clue, to be honest. It's just - the second I heard you were injured, I felt like I had to take care of you, to help you somehow."

You took a second to think of your following words. "When I heard you crying on the phone that day, I just felt the need to protect you, to take care of you. I know that you are a capable individual who can handle things on your own, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. When you care about someone deeply, it's natural to want to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. So, even though I trust your abilities, I just want to remind you that I'm here for you if you ever need help or support. Your happiness and safety mean everything to me, and I'll always do my best to make sure you're feeling okay."

Hearing Pablo sniff made you stop your rambling and look at him.

"Dios mio, these medications make me emotional."

Pablo let out a wet chuckle as he wiped his tearing eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

You smiled at the boy before you and leaned down to place a kiss on his red nose. "I don't care, I love you one tear more or less isn't gonna change that."

"I love you too, so so much."

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi oneshot #gavi x reader #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi #gavi x you #fc barcelona #fc barça

381 notes · View notes

neptunes-sol-angel · 5 months

Text

Well let's fuck around and find out 🤭😉

Paid Readings | Patreon | Tip Jar

Pile One

This could be someone who's a friend that you need to cut off or someone who you've already cut off. I would say that this is a parent, but this is looking like someone who has this false sense of authority over people and in general isn't a good person to be around. I'm getting this image of someone hiding in the shadows who comes out at just the right time at the right place to make a move on you. The parental energy that I'm picking up on could relate to one of their negative traits, which is analyzing voids that you could have internally. It could seem like they're fulfilling you emotionally, but really this is deception that they use against you later. Affection, validation, or someone who listens is what could they hold above your head to convince you that you need them or that they hold the answers to how you should live your life. This person fucked around trying to gain control over you and now they're finding out that you're no one's puppet and that you're strong enough to both walk away and wake up from the trance that you don't have any glamour. Or this could be someone who was very delusional thinking that walking away from you would make your life halt, but there's light being shed on just how powerful your magnetism actually is. They walked away just to come back to watch how you're flourishing and still gaining attention from unapologetically being you, they see you birthing abundance in your life, they realize how your originality is undeniable, if your presence on social media is public, they could be lurking and taking notes on the shine that you vibrate effortlessly. Pile One you're the blueprint, baby!

Pile Two

This is an opportunist who is a friend to no one but themselves. Their concept of loyalty is that they're ok with you giving it unconditionally to them, but theirs has terms and conditions, and they're strongly offended when you reflect their way of thinking by withdrawing your loyalty. This is someone who is constantly in some drama, never has their priorities together, and if you dare suggest what they could do to help themselves, they'll give an excuse for why they don't want to do the things that will bring stability to them or at least reduce the trouble that they get into. An overall immature person. This could also be someone you work with or had a partnership with, there's envy and jealousy that they have over you and instead of working on their feelings, they'd rather do something slick behind your back to to to make sense of the animosity they have for you. This is someone who doesn't play fair and see things as deep enough for them to sabotage you. They fucked around and found out about how karma and your guides don't play about you. They overestimated their reign of how much they could overstep and they're in a position now to where they can't weasel their way out of the consequences. The theme here is a loss of security. Their self-grandeur is withering away to a lack of confidence, they could have lost their job or are severely losing momentum in getting ahead in their life. It's like their tricks are no longer working and how they tried to stagnate others has now blocked their own blessings because they're incapable of moving forward. This person has to get out of having this main character syndrome, their inability to be a team-player by supporting others or clapping for others has left them in a pit of the same cycles that they thought they could take shortcuts out of whether it be understanding how immoral it is to use others or learning that trying to knock someone down doesn't truly elevate them from their insecurities.

Pile Three

This person could have you on their mind a lot or you show up in their dreams frequently. This could be a love interest from the past or someone who you've used to talk to on an almost daily basis. You could have helped them in some way or there was something in this connection that they may have tried to downplay or had trouble understanding. I'm getting that they fucked around and found out about your effect on them which is someone who they'll never forget lol. I'm also getting that this could be someone who you're currently talking to who underestimated the feelings that they get when they're around you, or how much you positivity you bring in their life. However, this really does give a chaser and runner type dynamic, where you were eventually the chaser and now they're the runner. If this is a past person, this is someone who misses you dearly, and may have fumbled in the beginning of you two parting ways with each other, by pretending and overcomenpensating the facade of someone who has "moved on". For some people, this could be ex-friends or family members who are deeply feeling the downsides of your absence but are too prideful to apologize to you or tell you that they miss you and would like you back in their lives.

#🎄: 25 days of neptunes sol angel #day six #divination #intuitive #psychic #pick a card #tarot #spirituality #pac #tarotblr #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #the tarot community #tarot community

317 notes · View notes

tyrantisterror · 5 months

Text

Saw Godzilla Minus One again and yeah, just as good if not better than I felt it was the first time.

But it does have me thinking - well, honestly, I've been thinking about this for a while - about how often critics of this series have bandied the argument that only certain Godzilla movies are "true to the spirit of the original," and others are not and thus are trash. It's always used as a way to not just praise the movie in question the critic is talking about, but to still paint most of the Godzilla movies as disposable garbage - which is really to protect the critic's status as an authority by emphasizing they do not challenge the popular assumption that Godzilla movies are by and large garbage, and instead only think certain Godzilla movies - a rare and specific few - managed to rise above their station as garbage to be worth something.

Godzilla (1985) is the only Godzilla movie to hold true to the spirit of the original.

Shin Godzilla is the only Godzilla movie to hold true to the spirit of the original.

Godzilla Minus One is the only Godzilla movie to hold true to the spirit of the original.

And I have... too many thoughts on this to put in a normal tumblr post, I should probably organize them into, like, an essay (god it's been ages since I actually wrote one of those, nowadays I just let myself ramble with only a thin grasp of a point). But this is bullshit, right? This is a bullshit thing that critics and especially fans, so many Godzilla fans do this. It's so fucking cowardly and pretentious, the act of a person without the bravery to truly stand up for art they love, a person who'd rather cover their own ass than be bold enough to fight for what others have ignorantly deemed trash.

Like, my feelings on Shin Godzilla are not negative - they're lukewarm, a "well it's not really for me but I get what they're going for" feeling. But so many people for so many years have held it up high and said, "Finally, a Godzilla movie that's not trash like all the other sequels, one that FINALLY lives up to the SPIRIT of the first, FLAWLESS, PERFECT FILM!" that I can't help feeling resentment for it, a sort of petty envy at how it is constantly held up so the people praising it can shit down on all the others that preceded it. I think I've been more harshly critical of it than I have most Godzilla movies specifically because so many people feel the need to praise it as flawless while shitting on the Godzilla movies that I like more - as if I need to find flaw in Shin Godzilla to prove my love for the others.

Which is cowardly too, in all honesty. We shouldn't need to burn one movie to praise another.

I love Godzilla Minus One. Objectively (or as objective as any critique I make can be) I think it's the best movie since the original, maybe even surpassing it (unlike the 1954 Godzilla, Godzilla Minus One has not jump cuts or other glaring editing mistakes caused by a rushed production time that didn't allow for proper film coverage). And while it may well be impossible to overcome nostalgia and topple the Holy Trinity of Godzilla sequels in my personal rankings, it might manage to fight its way into my top five Godzilla movies. It's an excellent movie, one of the best for sure.

...but people are ALREADY doing the "It's the first Godzilla movie that's true to the spirit of the original!" bullshit already, and specifically using it to tear Shin Godzilla down. I'm at least a little guilty of it - I mean, it was just an honest expression of my preferences, but still, there wasn't a need for me to express my lukewarm feelings on Shin while praising Minus One - and fuck, man, I already regret that.

It's a coward move. Fight for what you love even if people say you're cringe or uncultured for it. Fuck 'em, be the atomic freak you were born to be. You can't find your monster island if you don't.

205 notes · View notes

ukiyowi · 8 months

Text

Mini PAC III

Notes: Please check out the Masterlist for more! Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!

Messages from your higher self (repost)

Pile 1

"Whenever you make a decision, you know how it will end don't you? You have all the conclusions already laid out about every situation you've ever been in, has that ever helped? Things come to an end but would you want things to go another way? I hope not, because otherwise you wouldn't be who you are today"

Pile 1, I feel like you're regretting something, the end of a chapter maybe one that was very important, maybe you're going to college next year or you're starting a new job, or maybe you're moving houses, either way your higher self-assures you that whatever you do, don't move forward with regret in your heart.

For some of you there may have been a romantic relationship that ended and the weight of that break-up is still heavy on your mind, manifesting itself physically, draining your energy, exhausting you. Your higher self is telling you to cherish the times andmemories you had with that person, people change and so do circumstances but thosememories won't.

Pile 2

"Playing the devil's advocate won't get you, his throne. You need to be more mindful of what you say. Have you been getting frequent headaches lately? Clear your surroundings and meditate it should help, also please drink water. You shine so bright then why do you fear the dark? It won't harm you if you accept it."

Have you been feeling simultaneously distressed yet exceedingly happy lately pile 2? It happens, your higher self is telling you that you're being pulled in two directions so choose the one that makes you exceedingly happy and unsuccess will follow. You already have everything you need, you *are* everything you need.

All the good things that you dream about and run after are right there all you need to do is open your eyes and look. Your higher self is encouraging you to be more comfortable in your own company, you don't need people around you constantly to validate you, you don't lneed external validation.

Pile 3

"The world isn't yours to hold nor is it yours to heal. Start asking for more and you shall receive it, especially when it comes to clarity. You can't be everyone's number 1 and that's okay, everyone has their own match, just because you're not first doesn't make you any less valuable as a person, don't let it affect your self-worth. Pretending to love someone won't make you love them, fake it till you make it doesn't apply here."

Oof pile 3 so many messages coming through here. I also got a song for you, "Beautiful Feeling" by Day6. I'm getting a lot of love messages for this pile, your higher self similarly to pile 2 encourages you to focus more on yourself, whilst focusing on platonic relationships around you. Nothing will ever satisfy you if you look through a lens of despair at everything. Even if 3 of your cups have fallen, you still have two left. Your higher self is telling you to completely feel your feelings, negative ones too but not to wallow because that won't have a positive impact.

Don't try to copy other people because everyone's unique, you're your own person and people appreciate and adore you for that. Your higher self also gives a message regarding blue butterflies and how if or when you see them, you should remember that they are right by your side. October may be an important month for you as well.

#pick a card reading #pac #pick a pile #tarot daily #intuition #pac reading #daily tarot #tarot readings #🩵 PAC 🩵

279 notes · View notes

acewritesfics · 5 months

Text

I Almost Lost You | JAY HALSTEAD

⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY. MORE INFO IN MY PINNED POST.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Wife!Reader

Request: From Anon

Fic Type: Imagine

Prompt: "You think you can just push me away like that?”

Warnings: Mentions of being shot, surgery, crime.

Word Count: 849

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP

Jay sat next to the hospital bed where Y/N is currently resting. His arms are laying on the bed, one of them clutching hers. She'd fallen asleep a little more than an hour before, both of them gripping each other's hands, fearful that if they let go, the other would disappear like she almost had.

Intelligence has been looking for a duo who were robbing businesses and killing anyone who got in their way. They claimed to be the next Bonnie and Clyde and went out in the same manner as the originals. Y/N was shot three times during the shootout a little less than 24 hours ago.

Despite his best efforts, Jay is unable to shake the visual of her lying there, her breathing and pulse growing weaker as he works, in complete fear of losing her, to stop her from bleeding out.

Y/N and Jay have been married for just over three months, and he has already nearly lost her. He bites his lower lip, fighting the negative thoughts that remind him he could still lose her, especially given their line of work.

“What’s going on inside that handsome head of yours?” Y/N’s raspy sleep filled voice, brings him out of his thoughts.

“How much I love you,” he tells her, thinking that now is not the time to hash out what he’s really thinking about. Though, he is always thinking about how much he loves her.

"Don't do that," she says gazing at him, drowsily. "You think you can just push me away like that?”

"I'm not trying to push you away, babe," he says giving her a soft smile. "I can't now that you're wearing my ring."

"You know what I mean," she sighs. "I'm so doped on pain meds, it didn't come out right."

"I know what you meant," he assures her, gently squeezing her hand.

"Don't go quiet on me, Jay."

"I almost lost you," he starts telling her what he's thinking and feeling. "We've been married for three months. We’re just starting our lives together and I could have lost you. I almost lost you."

“It’s part of the job,” she whispers, weakly squeezing his hand.

“Don’t… don’t say that,” he tells her, frowning. He knew she was being nonchalant about it right now because of the drugs but it didn’t help how he was feeling or the thoughts clouding his head. “Not right now.”

“I’m sorry,” her lips pout as she lets out a quiet sob, tears building up on her eyes.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Jay tries to reassure her as he moves closer to the bed and brings her hand to his face, gently kissing her fingers where her rings usually sat. They had been taken off during her surgery so they wouldn’t end up damaged or lost. “You did nothing wrong. It’s their fault and mine for not being there to protect you.”

“You can’t be in two places at once,” she cries holding no resentment towards him like he seems to think he deserves.

“No but I’m your husband as well as your partner. It’s not only my job to have your back, it’s also my vow to you,” he stands up, leaning over her to wipe away the tears and kiss her gently. “You know, us being married, living together and all that, means you won’t be able to cheat recovery and come back to work earlier than the doctors order right.”

She can’t help the chuckle that escapes her lips, through the tears and sobs. “Yeah, but I have a brother-in-law who’s a doctor.”

“And I’m going to tell him if he tries to do you any favors so you can get back to work sooner, I’ll find something to arrest him on.”

“Yeah, you would do that.”

“You’re damn right I would,” he says and tells her, “Voight’s given me some time off so I can take care of you.”

“It’ll be a mini vacation,” she says giving him a weak smile.

“For you it might be,” he kisses her again before reaching into his pocket and pulling out her engagement and wedding bands. He slips them back on to her finger and brings her hand back up to his lips and kisses the same spot as before. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she says letting go of his hand and carefully shifts over in the bed and pats the now empty spot next to her. “I don’t care what the doctors have to say, I need my husband with me tonight.” She adds before he can protest.

Kicking off his shoes, he climbs onto the bed next to her, making sure to not hurt her even more. Careful of her injuries, she finds a comfortable position for them to lay in and places the blankets over him.

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to drift back to sleep unlike Jay who remains awake until he can no longer keep his eyes open, afraid that if he does fall asleep, that he’ll open his eyes when he awakens and she’ll be gone.

TAGGED: LINK TO TAG LIST SIGN-UP ABOVE.

#acewritesfics repost #jay halstead x reader

266 notes · View notes

ginevrapng · 6 months

Note

ur blog brings me so much comfort!! can i pls request james potter the man himself who’s so big and strong and he’s so attractive and people wonder why he’s with u but neither he no the marauders stand for it and he comforts the hell out of u when it insecure about how chubby you are and he thinks you’re the most beautiful girl and you body is honest to god a bonus

sorry i NEED comfort

love u

sometimes it's hard to stay positive about your body and self image, you try you best but you know people wonder how you're dating the famous popular james potter, why he's with you. sometimes you become insecure about your relationship, you know that people wonder why you're together because he can 'do so much better' and sometimes you wonder the same. james is popular for a reason, he's strong and attractive and charismatic so you wonder why he's even with you. why would he settle for the chubby girl when he can have anyone he wants?

little did you know the marauders do not stand by when they hear people talk negatively about you, they say to you they'll be more careful with pranks now they're older but they take that back when they overhear someone say something about your relationship with james, really those people are lucky that james doesn't hex them.

today's one of your worst days, you're more insecure than you normally are and you're overthinking your whole relationship. james spots you in the courtyard and he can practically see the cogs turning in your head, "are you alright sweetheart?" you jump as you hear james' voice.

"i'm fine james," you mumble and smile unconvincingly.

james' eyebrows furrow in worry. "c'mon love, let's go back to my room." he holds onto your elbow gently and pulls you along lightly. you can't help yourself but turn to the the windows that line the classroom walls where you frown as you see yourself in the reflection.

james is worried but doesn't want to push you in saying something you're not ready to say, he wants you to feel safe enough to tell him, he's in no rush so when you get back to his dorm he shuts the door and smiles sweetly at you before he sits onto the bed. you play with the sleeves of your jumper and look down. james pats the bed next to him as you stand above him not moving.

"okay," you say quietly and make your way to the bed, you lean on his shoulder and turn your head away from him before so he doesn't see your face. he holds onto you tightly to try and comfort you but you just think about how much bigger you are than him. "james why are you with me?" you whisper.

"what?" james says confused, maybe he's misheard you.

you repeat yourself, "why are you with me?"

"why wouldn't i be with you?"

"you could have anyone you want james why me?"

" 'cause i love you, you silly billy."

"don't call me that loser," you mumble. james grins as he hears you call him a loser. he lifts you up and pulls you onto his lap. "james what are you doing?! put me down, i'm too heavy!" you say loudly, already trying to get out of his grasp but he's holding onto your love handles tightly.

"is this what this is about sweetheart? you think you're too heavy." you turn your head away from him, not wanting him to see your face. james cups your cheek gently and moves you he can see you. you stay silent and james kisses you forehead, "you're not too heavy in the slightest. i could carry you with one hand." he strokes your cheek and kisses you again.

"you're wrong, i'm too heavy james i'll hurt you. i don't know why you're even with me i'm chubby and not thin like other girls," you let out your feelings.

"sweetheart do you really think i have a problem with your weight?" he says delicately.

"who wouldn't?" you ask, trying not to cry.

james tries to resist laughing at the notion. "i'm sorry love but that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard."

"what are you talking about?"

"i love you and your body. do you really not know how hot you are?"

you twiddle with your fingers, "james stop that's not true. not my body."

he can't stop himself from laughing this time, although he immediately apoligises after. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to laugh it's just hilarious that you think i have a problem with your weight."

you start getting annoyed now, you feel like he's laughing at you and not being genuine in his compliments. "what are you even talking about james? just stop it."

"i'm saying that i love you and i think you're beautiful, your body is a bonus, a big bonus," he says earnestly. before you can interrupt him with your insecurities and doubts he keeps talking about you and continues praising you. "you're super soft and i love hugging you, you're so squishy. when you sit down and your thighs expand oh my god, it's so hot and i love how i can lay down on them and you play with my hair, it's so comfortable i could fall asleep." your face heats up as you hear him ramble, you realise he's not even focused on comforting you at this point, he's just distracted about how much he loves you and can't help himself but talk about it. he's just carried away and in his own world talking about how perfect you are in his eyes and how your body in his words is 'a big bonus'.

"when you cheer for me in quidditch matches you whoop and cheer and jump up and down, i can't help but get distracted as i see your pretty face in the crowd and the upper half of your body, which i can see, jiggle as you jump. it's so hard as captain because i should have complete focus on the game but i'm just thinking about afterwards when i can see you and kiss you. oh and when i grab your love handles and pull you towards me at random moments of the day, bloody hell i love hearing your little gasp in surprise as i feel your plush body pressed against my harder and stronger one." you smile at that as he talks about his own body and his confidence, you really are complete opposites in that sense.

"your tummy rolls are super cute and your pudgy arms are so biteable, just wanna give 'em a big old bite and leave a pretty mark for my pretty girl. and don't even get me started on your stretch marks-" you start giggling at his rambling.

"don't get started on my stretch marks jamie," you interrupt and as he sees you cheerfully smile, he grins in return. "thank you james," you press your forehead against his and hold onto him.

"it's okay love, honestly i got super carried away and distracted and i just wanted to talk about you," he nuzzles the crook of your neck.

"i could tell," you giggle.

"it's all true though. i really do love everything about you, you're the sweetest inside and out." he squeezes you.

"i love you too james, you're the best boyfriend in the world." he smiles gleefully in return.

"let's get into bed," he says suddenly standing up and picking you with him.

you gasp not expecting it, "it's the middle of the day jamie."

"yeah but it's winter and i want a cuddle." you can never say no to a cuddle with james.

i'm so glad my blog brings you comfort and i really hope you like this and brings you comfort too!! it brought me comfort and i wrote it asdfghjk. this became longer than intended but i got carried away a bit.

love you too<3

242 notes · View notes

strwberri-milk · 4 months

Note

Heyo! It's me again. And guess what? Today is my birthday!

Can I request Kaeya seeing his lover cry the night before their birthday? I cried my eyes out last night, and now I'm curious how he'd react if he saw his lover doing the same.

Tysm!

oh my god why are there so many sad bday people im not special anymore /j

Kaeya doesn't expect to see you sobbing the night before your birthday. He knew that he had a lot of things planned for you and he was incredibly excited to celebrate you in the coming day. You sitting there and sobbing was not something that he was expecting to see.

When he comes into the room you try to bottle up your tears and pretend that nothing's wrong. He doesn't want to pry too hard but after knowing that you've just been crying he can't help but confront you with it lovingly, trying to ask what happened and get to the bottom of it.

Regardless of the reason, he's there to hold you and comfort you with a soft hand and steady voice. The warmth of his body seeping into yours makes you forget for a second whatever it was that upset you so, Kaeya mumbling something reassuring into your ear you can't really hear as fatigue starts to settle in. He's saying all the right things, helping you feel better as your eyes drift closed.

As your breathing slows and he finds that he's managed to settle you down to sleep he sighs and continues to run his hand up and down your back. He already was going to make sure you had a great day tomorrow but now he's even more determined, wanting to help clear your mind of all the negative things you were feeling.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

97 notes · View notes

r3dkn0ts · 3 months

Note

omg hi bestie 🫶 could i maybe get some wesker x ftm trans reader (he/him pronouns + idc what u use to refer to his genitalia) !! sfw n nsfw are both okey, surprise me ^__^

i know what you are 🫵

SFW + NSFW RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS FOR ALBERT WESKER W/ A TRANS MALE PARTNER

Themes: Wesker-level fluff and sexy smutty stuff Warnings: Canon-typical violence, slight possessiveness, and he's kind of an asshole, but I think you already knew that

SFW Relationship Headcanons - Wesker is a tsundere. There, I said it. - He started a romantic relationship with you, which means that he saw something special in you. He won't tell you what it is. - Before the relationship was established, he'd try and act like he had no interest in you. Negative interest, to be specific. Wouldn't even look you in the eye. Nobody was any the wiser. - He was trying to convince himself that he'd never feel romantic feelings towards someone so much lesser than him. It probably also has to do with his repressed bisexuality. - He'd never admit that, though. He has common sense, even if he is a total maniac. - When or if you tell him you're transgender, he won't think much of it. - He's a scientist and knows how biology works, so he won't ask the questions someone with less knowledge or from a time before modern medicine would. - If you're shorter than him, he'll tease you about it relentlessly. He'll put things on high shelves where you can't reach just so you have to ask him for help. - He's kind of protective of you. He won't say it out loud, but if another killer hurts you more than what The Entity demands, he'll take things into his own hands. - Wesker loves putting his arm around your waist or shoulders when you're around others just to display that you're his. - He may not say it out loud a lot, but he does love you. Just in his own way.

V CLICK READ MORE FOR NSFW HEADCANONS V

NSFW Relationship Headcanons - Wesker isn't a particularly horny person, but if you brush up against him just right or make a move, he'll get a boner pretty quickly. - As you'd expect, Wesker loves to be serviced, but he doesn't mind taking care of your needs once you're all squirmy and desperate. - If you want him, you have to beg. Convince him that you need him inside you or his tongue on you. - It inflates his ego and turns him on all the more. - He loves using Uroboros to his advantage in the bedroom. He'll hold you against walls or pin your wrists down with his tentacles, or maybe even use them more proactively. - Even if there's no bedroom nearby, he'll just fuck you wherever he sees fit. He doesn't care if anybody catches you two. It just adds to the thrill. - He tries not to be a very vocal guy during sex, but if your tongue hits the right spot or you tell him how good he feels inside you, he might accidentally slip out a moan or groan. - He loves cumming inside and watching his seed spill out, but he loves even more to finish in your mouth or on your face. - He'll try and help you clean up afterwards if you two make a mess. He doesn't want you to think he just uses you for sex.

#dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight imagines #resident evil x reader #resident evil imagines #the mastermind x reader #albert wesker x reader #fluff #smut #headcanons #trans reader #male reader #lgbt reader #ftm reader

72 notes · View notes

stilljuststardust · 3 months

Text

Dissociation will not help you shift it'll only make you struggle.

This may be controversial. I normally say that what matters most is what you personally believe but this can genuinely negatively impact your mental health. Encouraging this can genuinely ruin lives.

Trying to worsen your dissociation or depersonalization is just plain self destructive. It will hurt you and your mental health.

Dissociation will kill any motivation you have for shifting and failed attempts will slowly hit harder and harder. You'll feel empty. You'll think of your DR and feel nothing but apathy because you can feel nothing at all.

Dissociation is not pretty or beneficial don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know from personal experience.

As you lose your ability to ground yourself and feel your feelings you will also lose your ability to do so with your DR. It will be so much harder to connect with it while you're in this reality. If you are unable to connect with what's in front of you how will you connect to something that you can't yet see?

How will you connect to a version of yourself you haven't yet met if you can't connect with the body you are already in?

Dissociation will ruin your realtionships, it'll cause you to self sabotage, you slowly lose yourself. Encouraging dissociation is so so incredibly dangerous.

You are not tethered or tied to this reality. You are not stuck here. Just like any other reality. No galaxy can contain you.

You do not need to disconnect yourself from this reality it ALREADY has no hold over you. You are infinite and so much more powerful than you know. The goal in any reality is to care for yourself and grow as a person, not to become a shell of yourself.

I can tell you from personal experience grounding yourself will make you connect to your DR more. You'll feel your feelings for your comfort characters stronger, you'll feel hope and excitement, you'll be an active participant in your shifting journey. Ground yourself.

#reality shifting #shifting antis dni #shifting #shifting community #shifting realities #shifting reality #current reality #reality shift #shiftblr #desired reality #STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO DISSOCIATE #shifting tips #reality shifter #reality shifting advice #shifting advice #shifting attempt #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog

63 notes · View notes

lvrdrafts · 9 months

Text

Crumbs of Cinnamon, Mended Hearts

Summary: You are in the hospital after an attempted suicide but you feel less alone than ever

Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of suicide

A/N: Imma make a part 4 cus I wanna make Bucky suffer

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

You were at an all-time low, you couldn’t imagine a life without Bucky and it made you miserable. You started to have fewer customers since the negative attitude in the bakery was not one that made people want to come back. You couldn’t go back to your family, they thought the bakery was a bad idea in the first place and you could already imagine the shame on their face. You were all alone with no friends, family, and work.

You didn’t have enough money to pay for rent for the bakery or your home and now you were forced to sell your dream store. You felt as if your whole world was crumbling from one man.

Bucky had noticed your bakery had now been for sale and he was seeing you in the apartment less and less. He was starting to worry about you but every night Diana helped him forget about those worries. So the worry became more of a task put on hold.

You didn’t want to bear the pain anymore so you decided to end it. You had went to the bridge at the park at midnight. You didn’t want to be saved or seen.

You felt the whole world slow down, the cold breeze hitting your shoulder. As you jumped you felt your life flashed before you. The instant your body was completely submerged, you froze. The panic talking a complete hold of you. You realized you didn’t want to die but it was too late. As your eyes were beginning to close but you saw someone ,a man with wings, an angel, dive into the water. Then it all went black and you feel as if your body has given up.

At the hospital Sam was pacing around, worried if he was not quick enough to save you. That’s when Bucky came in asking everyone where you were.

“I’m gone for two weeks and I’m flying back home to see my best friend committing suicide. How the fuck does that happen” Sam yells at Bucky trying to hold back his anger as much as possible.

“I fucked up. I fucked up so bad and I pushed her away and I acted like a dick and I-“ Bucky starts ranting on but Sam ignores him. Sam had finally gotten on good terms with Bucky but it all seemed to crumble.

As Sam was about to comment, the Doctor came in and said you are able to get visits. Sam rushes in to see you.

“y/n/n what the fuck where you thinking. You scared the hell out of me" Sam admitted, his voice cracking with emotion.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she replied, "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to put anyone in danger. I just... I felt overwhelmed. I don't even know how I'm alive, it's like an angel rescued me. I don't know if it was real or just my mind playing tricks on me." you chuckle laughing at that foolish thought.

Sam looked at you with a gentle smile, hiding the truth behind his eyes. "That sounds like quite an experience. Sometimes, our minds can create extraordinary things in moments of distress. But what matters is that you're here, safe and sound."

Sam cleared his throat, looking at you with a mix of relief and affection. "Y/n, I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive and getting better. I was so scared when I found out what happened, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

Sam's eyes glistened with emotion, and he squeezed your hand gently. "You're a strong person, y/n, and you've been through so much. But I want you to know that you don't have to face anything alone. I have a friend who has a friend who is willing to pay for your bakery and I can help around the bakery." Sam says putting his hand on your shoulder as you look in his eyes thinking how lucky you were to have him "You don't have to do this alone."

Sam's grip on your hand tightened, and he looked into your eyes with such intensity that it took your breath away. "Y/n, I can't bear the thought of losing you," he confessed, his voice trembling with emotion. "When I found out you got hurt I realized how much you mean to me, how much I care about you."

"I was so worried, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to tell you," Sam continued, his vulnerability shining through. "If something had happened to you, and I never got the chance to say it, I would regret it for the rest of my life. So, here it is: I love you, y/n, with all my heart. And I promise to always be here for you, no matter what."

"I... I feel the same way, Sam," you replied, your voice filled with emotion. "You've been there for me through everything, and I can't thank you enough for that. You mean so much to me."

Sam smiled, relief was evident in his eyes. "I'm so glad you feel the same way, Y/N. I want to be here for you"

Before the two of you could say more, Sam's phone suddenly rang, interrupting the moment. He gave you an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I need to take this call. I'll be right back."

As Sam stepped out to take the call, you were left alone in the room with your thoughts. That's when the door opened, and Bucky entered quietly. His expression was one of remorse, and he seemed to hesitate before speaking.

"Y/N, I... I'm sorry," Bucky said, his voice filled with genuine regret. "I should have been there for you, and I should have realized what you were going through. I didn't mean to push you away, and I'm so sorry for not being the friend you needed."

You looked at Bucky, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of you wanted to hear his apology and accept it, but another part of you couldn't forget the pain of his rejection. You remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"I know I messed up, and I don't expect you to forgive me," Bucky continued, his voice filled with sadness. "But I just wanted you to know that I truly am sorry."

Before you could respond, Sam returned to the room, and you could sense the tension between him and Bucky. Sam looked at Bucky for a moment, then at you, his expression softening.

As Sam noticed the lingering tension in the room, he gently squeezed your hand and looked towards the door. "Hey, I think Y/N might need some alone time right now," he suggested, giving Bucky an understanding look.

Bucky glanced at you, his expression conflicted, but he nodded in agreement. "You're right," he said softly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll give her some space."

As Bucky turned to leave, you felt a mix of emotions, unsure of what to say or do. Before you could say anything, Sam leaned closer, cupping your face gently with his hand, and pressed a soft kiss on your lips.

Bucky paused for a moment, his hand on the doorknob, and then he turned back to look at you one last time. His expression was a mix of sadness and frustration, and without saying a word, he slammed the door shut behind him.

The hours passed, and Sam stayed by your side, offering quiet companionship and support. Eventually, the fatigue of the day caught up with you, and your eyes grew heavy.

"I think it's time for you to rest," Sam said softly, seeing the exhaustion in your eyes. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

You nodded, feeling grateful for his presence. "Thank you, Sam. You've been amazing," you murmured, already feeling yourself drift off to sleep.

Sam smiled tenderly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Sleep well, Y/N," he whispered, his voice a soothing lullaby. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Taglist

@marygoddessofmischief @666yourmomdotcom @openup-yourmind @almosttoopizza @maddieislost @kentokaze @floralwslokicjand10 @vicmc624 @sunset90 @cjand10 @matchat3a @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @blueraspberryreader @that1nerd-20 @chemtrails-club @marvel-fandom23 @mewmeoww @niyah834 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @christinesdemoness1958 @matchat3a @kentokaze @mayusenpai666 @smplymrvl @chemtrails-club @emerald-writer @zeysartzone

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst

167 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

tina-rocket

Left hand holds a flower right hand swings a sword

rebellum

Rebellum

venomroad

☠HAZARD AHEAD☠

felixkerrm2m

Felixkerr

exploreucity

Explore U City