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maximwtf · 3 months

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“If you wish so.”

Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Words: 3340

Google docs pages: 7,5

Warnings: Songfic, but I suppose it makes sense even without the lyrics :”D, established relationship, arranged marriage, overworking, angst/comfort

Opening: After marrying the man you’d grown up alongside, you notice how busy his and your life had gotten. You notice how you would be lucky to even see him during the day, and from there your mind spirals to ponder if there is any fixing the marriage anymore. So one night as he comes back to you, you bring the topic up.

AN// Reader can be any gender! Is it my golden birthday? Yes. Am I still writing fanfiction? Perhaps. The song used here -> Song

“If you wish so.”

You were no stranger to Kamisato Ayato, having known him since you were a child. You grew up together, mostly because your parents were close and had a lot of work they did together. This allowed you to not only get to know him, but train to fight with him. He was always a pleasant opponent, since he knew when to stop and when to be serious. He had respect for his opponents, and clearly had been taught the same way you had. So getting along with him had never been a problem.

You wish you could have said it had come as a surprise when your time to marry had come around, and the person chosen for you had been Ayato. But you had your premonition that it would have been him. Only, you had never in your adult life discussed something like this with him. The topic of relationships had never come up in the whole time you’d known him. But you had no fear of bringing the topic up, knowing of the polite young adult he’d grown up to be. And you’d been correct. Neither of you were sure if it was going to work out, but understood the weight a relationship such as this would have and together agreed that you’d try to make it work.

And it had. Later on, you found that you truly fancied him. Maybe you would have figured it out later in life anyway, but the marriage had just sped up the process due to you having to spend more time around him. And you told him this, immediately being assured that he had started to wonder if he was feeling the same way. The realisation had made everything so much easier for the both of you. And not only that, but the public appearances you sometimes made showed the people that you were truly going to stick together. You felt at ease with him.

But when his parents passed away and the weight of the clan's affairs fell upon him, he’d been drowned in work. You had tried your best to comfort him, to tell him that he was doing a good job. But he had never seemed to truly doubt himself, taking upon loads of work while keeping his sister away from the heavy burdens of the clan. As much help as Thoma was, you still worried for the man.

But at the end of the day, you found yourself in the same position as him. You were also expected to take on the clan’s affairs, making you separate from Ayato. And from time to time enough that sometimes you didn’t remember when you’d seen him last. And it took a toll on you as well at some point. Why couldn’t things slow down as they’d been when you both had been just a little younger?

“If you wish so, you shall never be restless again. “

So one day you thought to confront him about it. To tell him that he had too much work to do, and that he should ask help with it from time to time. Or even share some of it with you, if that could be of any help. But the conversation had gone almost as you’d expected.

You’d barely been able to catch him, even for just the moment you needed in order to talk with him. But the moment he saw you, he’d paused. And if you didn’t know any better, you would have missed the pleased look that flashed onto his face the moment he saw you. Appearing for only a short amount of time, yet you knew him well enough to know he was glad to see you.

“Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss, dear?” Ayato asked, form seemingly now more at ease than before. Something about that easing your mind as well. Not that you’d been worried to bring up anything with him. You trusted the man. “Being at the head of the commission comes at a cost. But don’t you think there is a little too much to do?” You started, not having thought out a speech or even properly how to word your thoughts. A shiver accompanied by panic flashed through your body, quickly adding something to the previous statement. “Of course, I’m confident of your abilities for the position-”, but of course the stuttering and slight worry only amused Ayato, bringing an expression on his face to show that. Though, after that he replied in a more serious tone, knowing as much as you’d stuttered that you’d been serious about this. “Is your work weighing on you? If that is the case, I can assure you something can be done about it. And will, swiftly.” He then said. His voice convincing, not making you doubt for a second that he wouldn’t waste time to take work off your shoulders. He was very comprehensive with decisions such as this. Having dealt with cases like this before, he knew quick fixes for it. But he had gotten it wrong, totally.

It wasn’t yourself who you were worried about, but him and his well being if he continued to work like he did now for as long as his body allowed him to. Something about a future like that scared you, made you wonder how far was a future like that? A future where he’d work to provide for this family until he couldn’t anymore?

“If you wish so, everything mine shall be yours too. “

You put your hands up, shaking them gently in front of you as a sign that what he thought hadn’t been what you’d meant. “That is not what I meant, dear. And even more so, I do believe you have a heavier workload than I do as things are.” You placed your hand at the back of your neck for comfort, looking at the floor as you thought of a way to make him understand. You could feel his eyes on you, patiently waiting for you to come around. As your eyes travelled back to him, a hint of confusion had laid itself in his eyes. “I wished for us to share the work more evenly. For me to take some of yours.” You finally added, voice a little more quiet than before. Ayato had taken a breath after your statement, mind racing for a moment as he tried to figure out why you weren’t pleased with the way things had been laid out previously?

He had intentionally made sure to ease your workload and give it to himself. To make sure the affairs of the clan he was meant to take care of wouldn’t weigh on you too much. To keep your mind off of the dirtiest businesses the clan came across from time to time. How long had you been displeased? It confused him further, but none of it did he let show on the outside. A deeply rooted habit.

“I couldn’t possibly allow you to do that for me.” He started, tilting his head ever so slightly. His voice still held the same calmness as before, as it usually did. “I hope you understand. There is no one else I should worry with the tasks meant for myself.” And he was right.

The work the commissioner did was not something anyone from the staff could do, nor were they allowed to do it. But that’s exactly why you’d offered to help him, to take some of the workload, knowing he allowed you to see the things he saw. And maybe he saw it as trouble enough that you knew of such things. That he thought he was troubling you even by allowing himself to talk to you about them. But you wanted to help.

“If you wish so, I’ll take your religion. “

But you had to show him that it wasn’t only the workload that was given unevenly that worried you. It wasn’t fairness that you sought after. You worried for his health and future, and most of all missed him. Missed talking to him like you were talking now. Only, about more pleasant topics.

You might have intertwined the clans for political reasons, but you did care about him as a friend and as a lover. You would have felt bad later on if you never told him, or if you backed down now and didn’t try your best to convince him.

“But you are worrying me as it is. Worrying me with the workload you have and the stress it puts you under.” You sighed, shaking your head slightly before continuing the rant. “You work so late, I often fear you don’t sleep enough. Worry, because at times I don’t see you in the morning. Nor do I see you at night.” The last words were spoken more silently, having a hard time admitting that you missed him. That being one of the main reasons why you’d even dared to talk to him about this.

Ayato’s gaze had softened, a type of realisation hitting him as he keenly listened to you speak your mind. “I long to be with you again, is what I’m saying. I pine to talk to you before falling asleep and-” You stopped yourself there, afraid someone might hear you if you rambled on. Knowing that you shouldn’t discuss private matters out in the open like this. But also because you couldn’t emotionally bear to talk about such deep feelings all of a sudden. And by the looks of it, Ayato had understood the point.

He now understood where the speech was coming from, why you wanted to ease his workload so desperately. And he would have been lying if he said he hadn’t once thought of wanting to go back to how things were. When there hadn’t been as much to do. But the thought made him feel like he was being pulled in two directions at once.

But he knew he couldn’t fully promise you anything as things were now. All he could do was give you some kind of reassurance. Maybe that would help, even if it pained him to deal with this in such a way. “I may have a few tricks up my sleeve. I’ve made note of it now and…I’ll see what I can do.” He said confidently, but you couldn’t tell if it was a facade this time. He was far too skilled with covering his actual intentions with the way he spoke. Though, the hand he’d placed on your waist before placing an affectionate kiss on your upper cheek gave you some hope. Perhaps false hope, but you wanted to believe it was real.

And with that he'd gotten back on track with what he’d been doing previously.

“If you wish so, even your lies shall be the truth to me. “

But as you’d expected, the hope had been false. As days passed on, you could tell he was still busy as ever and having if not more work to do. But you didn’t complain to him about it. Didn’t whine or get clingy as you had felt after the previous conversation. It had taken some time to shake off the feeling of that after.

But this morning, he’d woken up around the time you had. Giving you time to have breakfast with him, which felt like a blessing directly from Celestia. And not only that, but Ayato had managed to surprise you with what he’d had on his mind for a short while now. “I was planning on quitting work slightly earlier tonight. How about we go for a stroll after, what do you say?” He said calmly while enjoying his food. But even the divine smell of the well prepared food couldn’t distract you from the shock this plan had given you. Thrilled, but not allowing it to show you formed a somewhat comprehensible reply. “That would be much appreciated, dear.” You said politely, swiftly starting to eat as to appear too busy to add anything else to that.

You didn’t see if Ayato had seen the excitement in your eyes, but if you knew him at all you would have guessed that he had. He wasn't one to miss on even the slightest expressions, having become quite awfully skilled at reading people in the past few years. But a part of you wished he’d seen the excitement. Seen it so you could hide the internal fear that this was another lie. No, you didn’t want to call them lies, knowing he was truly trying his best to make this work after the initial conversation.

But something in your gut told you to be wary of such promises. There was no knowing if something urgent would come up today and ruin the plan. And it would hurt more the more excited you were.

“If you wish so, I’ll move to Andorra, so maybe I’ll see you again. “

And so you waited patiently. Did your daily work with care and finished just early enough to prepare yourself slightly for when he returned as well. You hadn’t even worried when he’d taken a little longer than expected, knowing he had more to do than you. He would come eventually.

But as you’d feared, he never came. As the last rays of the sun finally disappeared, you gave up the last bits of hope that he was even going to be back before supper. Something must have come up, knowing you hadn’t seen Thoma much either. But that didn’t change the fact that waiting for someone who wasn’t going to come to you hurt.

Of course you had expected something like this, but a part of you still hoped something could be done about this situation. But then again, the work the two of you did was important and mostly private. So you couldn’t ask for someone to help you sort this out. It was up to your attempts and you weren’t sure how far Ayato was willing to stretch, if at all. But you did want to see him more. To spend time with him.

There was a sense of comfort when the two of you could only be, take off the facade for a moment and just talk. But that had been in the past for a while now. And of course you couldn’t speak for him, but you felt the need to talk like that again. To share your thoughts with him. You’d do anything to get to do that again.

“Without you I’m drowning within restless nights, and without you..you see. “

After waiting for him for long enough, you decided it was best to give up. He’d come back around the same time he usually did, and maybe you’d have time to talk to him tomorrow about this. So you headed to bed.

But the sleep that usually came to you easily was so hard to reach tonight. Your mind spiralled, upset and even a little angry that things weren’t working the way you wished. Usually the voice of reason sorted out your thoughts, but that comforting voice was gone. Far too tired to try thinking logically, your mind kept feeding your feelings and keeping you awake. Even when you felt worn out, you couldn’t find it in you to let your mind rest and fall asleep.

With no sense of time, you didn’t know how much time had passed. But the sound footsteps approaching the bed caught your attention. Your breathing stilled, ears keen on the soft sounds. He had always been so careful not to wake you up when he knew he was coming back so late.

The mattress on his side moved as he sat down, a low sight leaving the man. You contemplated not turning around, pretending as if you’d fallen asleep already. But still in your feels you decided best to face him, turning around on the bed. The room was quite dark at this hour, but you could tell he was surprised to see you awake.

“How come are you still up, dear?” Came to his mind first, the concerned question slipping out almost automatically. You wanted to tell him the reason, but at that moment the reasoning started sounding more and more risible. Instead, you lifted yourself to a sitting position, keeping the covers over your shoulders to maintain the comforting warmth they were radiating.

But something about your mannerism seemed to have been enough to let him catch up on what was going on. “Ah, I see”, his voice lowered but there was no anger in it. He’d sounded more upset than anything. And you could tell that even in your tired state of mind. “Dear, I apologise. You have my word, not a moment went by when I didn’t regret coming back earlier.” He continued speaking. But this time you knew his words weren’t lies or false hope on his part as well. He was being honest, clear regret in the way he spoke to you.

You didn’t know what to tell him. His words brought some peace of mind, but they couldn’t change the fact that you missed him. Missed talking to him just as you were talking right now. Raw. But the more time you spent without replying, the more intense his weighing gaze on you felt.

But there was nothing to be said. You’d tried everything that had come to mind. But maybe this was the last option you had left, as pathetic as it was. “I miss you”, you whined out as the lump in your throat felt harder to swallow down. Ayato’s brows furrowed.

“Without you, I’m halfway to Hell. “

His hand placed itself carefully to your arm, bringing you both closer to one another. His movements, as careful as they were, weren’t unsure. But he was treating the situation as gently as he could.

Not that he hadn’t taken you seriously the previous time you’d clearly tried to work around stating the topic like this. He’d tried taking your thoughts into account, but he hadn’t yet found anything that would work. And the thought of that ached at the back of his mind constantly. But the way you’d stayed up until now and tried reaching out once more shone new light at how much he needed to fix something.

His free hand placed itself at the nape of your neck, moving gently up to your jawline. You leaned into the touch, chewing on your inner lip as you waited for him to say something. “And that feeling is warranted. And believe me when I say, mutual.” He said, gaze soft but firmly on you. “Then come back to me.” You sniffed, looking down for a moment as you quickly wiped your eyes. His hand was fast to tilt your head back up, but only as a mere suggestion to which you responded by obeying. “I will”, the man’s softened voice replied. “For far too long to my comfort I’ve ignored the duty of utmost importance to me. And that is family matters, and it includes you.” He said, surprising even himself of the way he’d held himself together.

The way he spoke assured you, even if only a little. A wry smile made its way to your face, the tears previously threatening to well up had disappeared. “Thank you.” Was all you could think of, overwhelmed and tired. And you assumed he could tell both of those things by the way he replied. “I’ll discuss this with Thoma and you tomorrow morning.” He said, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head. “But before that, I think sleep is in order?” And he was right, of course. “For you too”, you reminded him as you knew in the past he had a tendency to stay up even if you’d fallen asleep. But to that comment he replied with a delighted, yet exhausted sounding chuckle. “Hehe, of course.” He nodded, giving you a proper kiss before lying down. And even if this was nothing new, falling asleep cuddled up to him felt refreshing. Knowing that you’d seen him before falling asleep, and you would see him again in the morning.

AN// Heehee, an angst with comfort at the end for my birthday. How fitting, aye? This was also a little testrun for Ayato, see how he feels to write for. So hopefully he’s not too ooc !

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kamisato ayato #ayato #genshin impact ayato #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #genshin x reader #x reader

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ambrozjas · 2 months

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Could you do a songfic with the song 'Mary' by Alex G with Dallas?

I love your writing sm it genuinely makes me happy <3 take your time with this request and have a lovely day !!

mary is the girl that leaves you to rot ꨄ︎

✧˖*°࿐ notes 🧸ᰔᩚ

i cried makjng this n im so proud of it n i love alex g sm

✧˖*°࿐ warnings ᰔᩚ

major character death, grieving reader, weird descriptions of adrenaline because i’m obsessed with it, song lyrics r in italics !! 💕

✧˖*°࿐ word count ᰔᩚ

2276 words, 12170 characters

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

mary is the girl that i wanna kiss

she’s got big red eyes and big red lips

she’s got big sharp teeth and big fat hips

dallas winston was known as a lot of things. he was a hood, a filthy greaser, a pervert, an idiot. and while you had heard all of these things about him, you had never actually spoken a word to him besides a gruff, “watch where you’re going” when you bumped into him.

you took notice of the hollowness in his dark eyes, the way his hair was always tussled, the way a new purple bruise was always blooming on his cheek, the milky skin that shone through the small slit of his shirt lifting when he stretched, the fullness of his pink lips whenever a cigarette was sticking out between them, how soft they looked..

no, you told yourself. dallas winston was a no good hoodlum who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. that’s all he was, and that’s all he’ll ever be. but how wrong you’d come to be in the future.

mary is the girl that i wanna fuck

she’s got leather heart and leather gloves

over the next few weeks, your mind couldn’t help but wander about dallas. you practically analyzed every part of his being. the way his eyebrows furrowed when he struggled to light the cancer stick meticulously placed between his index and middle finger, his leather jacket creasing at the forearms in the process.

but of course, your thoughts had to be interrupted. whether that was for the better or worse, you couldn’t decide.

“hey! what’cha lookin’ at?” your friend slides up next to you on the bench, slipping out of the sun’s reach and under the tiny umbrella shielding you two as she followed your gaze. you both were at a small diner, eating outside despite the tulsa heat causing your thighs to sweat when you sat down. you didn’t mind the heat, maybe that’s why you started playing with fire by talking to dallas winston.

you muttered a quick, “nothin’” when you saw your friend roll her eyes and groan at the fact that you were watching him, dallas. you snatched the juice box that she held out to you while she continued to watch dallas with two younger kids chase a group of small kids around, shouting about in an attempt to scare them.

“i still don’t get it. yeah, he’s a bit cute but i don’t understand why you’d go for a guy like that—“

“i’m not going for anybody. ‘s it a crime to observe the locals?”

“bit creepy but,” she paused as she tsked, “not a crime.” she sighed, sipping on her own juice box once more.

she’s the only girl that i wanna love

when you had finally mustered up the courage to talk to ‘the big bad wolf’ himself, you got through the brief scoffing-at-your-attempts-at-conversation stage and actually realized that dallas isn’t all that bad. maybe he’s wore you down, maybe it’s just habit at this point, but he’s actually tolerable when he’s not around all these dumb broads who are looking for a quick bang.

it took a while. like, a long while. but dallas didn’t mind you anymore. you were no longer the pest that buzzed around his ears in hopes that you weren’t swatted away. dallas claimed he didn’t have friends, need friends. but you’re one of the closest people that would ever get a chance to see dallas the way he truly is. you had met the curtis brothers, already recognizing sodapop from school before he dropped out. you had met two-bit, an obnoxiously flirty drunk who threw teasing remarks at you and dally at night long. you had met steve, although all he did was sneer at you when you got close to him, similar to a dog with a piece of beef in its mouth.

when dallas had finally asked you out, it was curt. grumbling a small offer in an attempt to sound tougher so he would mask his awkwardness if you said no. but if you’re being honest, you couldn’t imagine being with any other boy besides dallas winston. he plagued your mind, planted like weeds that you couldn’t get rid of. whether that were his intentions all along were unknown, although you wouldn’t put it past him. dallas was an interesting guy, for sure.

listen to me baby, i don’t mind

i wanna be with you and waste my time

“y’know, you don’t have to be here right?” you asked him, watching as he blowed another cloud of smoke through the small gap his mouth provided on the other side of his cigarette occupied lips.

he merely glanced at you, his arm behind his head as he lounged about on your bed, weight crinkling the sheets.

“because if—“

“can you relax? i wanna be here, otherwise i’d get up and leave right now.” he plucked the cigarette from his mouth as he fully turned his head to look at you.

you shrugged, “i wonder what’d make me ask when you’ve said ‘i’m wasting my time’ and ‘how long are you stretching this out’ and—“

“alright, alright. i get it.”

you sat in silence for a bit, feeling a bit awkward at the fact that you pulled his card and had said nothing more. you were convinced dallas would leave once he had sat up, dusting some ash off of his dark shirt.

“how long ‘til you finish that thing?” he pointed to the paper on your desk below you, leaning his elbows against his thighs as he got comfortable in the new position.

“why? you need t’much attention?” you cooed at him teasingly, still keeping your eyes glued to the paper.

“feels like you’ve been workin’ on it forever. i don’t wanna spend my time in silence while my girlfriend is just working on her homework.”

girlfriend, you repeated in your head. he’s been getting pretty ballsy with this label thing, huh? you smiled to yourself, writing one last sentence before putting your pencil down and getting up from your desk. dallas’ eyes trailed your figure as you stood between his legs, his hands instinctively resting on your hips.

you would almost call it domestic, the way his brown eyes gazed at you. the brown eyes that were so full of disdain and resentment for the world, somehow had room for adoration whenever he looked at you. you always admired that about him.

you placed your hand on his face, before giving him his wishes and unceremoniously plopping on top of him. you couldn’t deny him, dallas winston always got what he wanted.

give it to me baby, i feel good

i wanna feel whatever you think i should

sing it for me, baby, play my song

i wanna hear your daddy sing along

“i dunno.” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“what do you mean you don’t know?” you put your hand on your hip and looked down at dally, a cancer stick shoved between his lips as usual.

“i don’t dance, ‘specially not with losers like you.”

“hey!”

it was the perfect moment, you were at a family party with dally. you two decided to go to a small clearing behind the house, the smell of trees wafting in the air. it was distant enough that nobody would see you but it was close enough that you could still hear the music faintly blasting through the speakers.

“c’mon dal, nobody can see us. just you ‘n me.” you held out your hand, tilting your head as you offered for a final time.

he stared at it for a second, eyes flickering between your face and your hand as he cocked an eyebrow similarly to two-bit’s habit.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “fine, guess i’ll just go find another guy to dance with. i’m sure andy would love—“

and then came dally’s hands on your hips pulling you back towards him when you tried to saunter away back to the front of the house. you yelped as he tugged you towards him, getting up from the small white garden chair.

you laughed and threw your head back as dallas tried to twirl you, he was almost comically stiff as he did a small two-step shuffle with you in his arms.

“wow, so romantic.”

“shut up.”

you leaned forward and rested your chin on his shoulder, relaxing in his embrace as the music changed to a much slower song. you assumed the adults were slow-dancing with each other, too. you found it funny how when you were little, you would gag at anybody else doing these actions and now, you just realize how in love they were with each other.

you mumbled the lyrics a bit as you swayed in dally’s arms, resting your eyes as his hands came to sit on your waist.

dallas relaxed a bit, too. he listened to your sweet voice as you lowly whispered the lyrics from off the top of your head, mumbling incoherent phrases at lyrics you didn’t know.

if you had told anybody else about this, about how you had practically domesticated dallas winston, about how he was no longer the big bad wolf of tulsa but instead of a common dog who rested his head in your lap, they’d never believe you. they could never believe that he could be anything else besides a greaser, that’s all that mattered in this town. you cherished these moments, oblivious to the futures ahead of you and dallas.

mary is the one who leaves you to rot

she says, ‘i am real and you are not’

that phone call from dallas still haunts you. his voice was breathy, you heard him groan at the slightest shift of movement, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“what did you do, dal?” you remember the way you clutched the landline, your palms had already been sweaty. one second you were hunched over a desk stressing about math homework, and the next you were pressed up against the wall as you frantically tried to get dally’s location.

you remember the way he had whispered your name over the phone. his voice cracked as he repeated it. for a while, it was ‘doll’ this and ‘baby’ that, he rarely called you by your name anymore.

“please, just tell me where you’re at dallas.” your voice was barely a whisper at that point, you were surprised at how the phone picked it up. you pressed your forehead against the wall as you begged him not to go once he told you his goodbyes. you remember how before he slammed down the phone, he let out a small cry.

“i love you.”

and then came the familiar dial tone.

you remembered feeling a pang in your heart, it was like your vision went blurry. your throat was practically coated with barbed wire as you fought back a sob, biting your fist to avoid a cry from escaping your lips, an old habit you had learned from dallas whenever he tried to hide from you.

it was nothing like the movies, where a dramatic string quartet would play in the background as you ran in slow-motion out the door. your mind couldn’t think, your thoughts couldn’t focus. your thighs started shaking as you ran out of the door, not even bothering to put shoes on.

the cool air hit your legs, creating a pebbles effect against your skin as the goosebumps raised. your legs didn’t stop, you ran until you couldn’t anymore as you followed the noise and the array of police cars that made a bee-line down the street to the old convenience store.

you remembered the burn in your nostrils and at the back of your throat, the cool air hitting both your bare shoulders and sinuses. that didn’t stop you, though. all you could think about was dally.

you remembered how your eyes couldn’t even focus on what was in front of you. all you saw was dallas, and in his hand was a gun, in replacement of his normal cigarette.

she says, ‘i am real and you are not’

you couldn’t eat after that. who could eat so casually after watching their boyfriend be gunned down right in front of them?

it’s all a blur now, your adrenaline blocking out most of the details. all you remember was crying, as shouts came from the gang, yelling about how dally was just a kid. those screams still haunt you to this day. even now, you can’t look at a pack of kools without thinking of dallas.

you understand why he did it for johnny. johnny was the closest thing dally had to a family. if he was alive now, you’d smack the shit out of him though. you weren’t selfish, nor were you a mean person, but you couldn’t forgive dallas for doing this to you.

as you laid in bed the night of his death, you remembered how dally had made promises that were soon proven to be empty about escaping this small town, to a place with no worries. you realized now how stupid it sounded, but that didn’t matter to you because you had dally. had. and now what you had was gone, lost with the solemn memories of resting against the silk pillows and whispering small words that no other person would ever get to hear, for those words would never leave that bedroom, and those words would never leave your mind either.

you know it now, that dallas was trying to just plant himself in your mind. in his own sick way, he wanted a piece of him to be left with you. and you couldn’t deny him, dallas winston always got what he wanted.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the outsiders did NOT have to go that hard with that “whatever dally wants dally got” quote

kiss kiss ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

#the outsiders x reader #the outsiders #fanfiction #x reader #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston #angst fic #songfic #dally imagine #the outsiders dally #dally winston #dallas winston headcanons #dallas winston blurb #dallas winston imagine #dallas winston fanfiction #the outsiders fanfiction #ambrozjas #kiss kiss

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isuckatwritingsobenice · 8 months

Text

Bad Idea Right?

A/N: Bad Idea Right? By Olivia Rodrigo with Levi from my Fame AU story. If you read this story it’ll make more sense. Songfic!

Warning: Smut, Swearing,smoking, Cheating, Jealousy, Drinking, P in V, nudity

Nav! // Masterlist

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensing some undertone

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sending me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

But, God, when I look at you

‘Meet me at eight.’ Is all the text reads. I sit there staring at it, unsure what to do. Hange is hosting a kickback at their place, but I’ve been here for a while. I only came because Levi wasn’t going to be here. I didn’t need to worry about running into him. But now, he texts me asking me to come over. Should I go?

“Hey, you okay?” Hange asks me as they hand me a drink. I nod and accept it, shutting my phone off and tossing my head back to finish the drink. After the week I’ve had, I need this.

“I’m fine, just tired. Works been kicking my ass.” I respond, and Hange nods with a frown.

“Well, at least your out of the house. Let me know if you need anything.” Hange says, and I nod as they walk over to Erwin and Armin who are having their own conversation.

‘Hey, How’s the party?’ Megumi’s text reads. I sigh and open it, typing out my message before another comes in from Levi.

‘I’m getting take out. It’s 7:28, I expect you here by 8, 8:10 the latest.’ I frown and linger in the chat with Megumi. I’m sure if I tell him no he won’t hate me. But I know we shouldn’t see each other. We shouldn’t even be friends. He cheated on me. With Petra of all people. Why should I go over? I’ve moved on, I’ve started a new relationship. I don’t need him anymore.

But I want him. Quickly, I text Megumi back. ‘Hey, the parties going great. I don’t feel so well though, so I might crash at Hange’s tonight.’ I respond, before texting again. ‘I’m gonna have a few more drinks so I might not answer.’ I send the text before going to Levi’s message. I write to him. ‘Fine. I’ll be there by 8:20, don’t rush me or I’ll take longer.’ I reply, before he begins to type, the three dots appearing on my screen. ‘Don’t take long.’ Is all Levi says, before I roll my eyes. He’s so needy. ‘8:30’ I type back, before shutting my phone off and tossing it to the side. He’ll live by a few minutes of me being late, it’s not the end of the world.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

“Okay okay, one more drink.” I giggle, leaning on Annie’s shoulder as Hange hands me another drink. At this point I’m not even sure what time it is. It’s late, the music is loud. Eren is rolling a blunt with Zeke while Mikasa is pouring shots.

“You said that a few minutes ago.” Connie says, who’s a bit more sober than I am, but only because he got here late with Sasha and Niccolo.

“Shut up. Just, just let me be okay.” I respond. Annie lifts her glass and taps it against Sasha’s before tapping mine too. The three of us toss our heads back and take our drinks.

“Levi! You made it!” I hear Hange say happily. Fuck. I forgot. I check around looking for the time before I see it on the stove across the room. 10:57. Almost two hours after I told Levi I’d go see him. I don’t look at him, instead I point to the bottle and ask Sasha to get me another drink.

“Let’s take another shot.” I say, and Sasha nods leaning down to grab the bottle.

“No no, you’ve had enough.” I hear, and at that theres a hand on my back. I take my head off Annie’s shoulder and look to see Levi.

“Hey Levi.” Annie slurs, and we both laugh. He just nods before peeling me off her further.

“I’m taking you home.” He says, before I roll my eyes.

“Levi! Don’t leave! You just got here!” Hange whines, and I nod in agreement.

“Hange’s right, at least have a drink with us.” Connie says, and Jean comes back from wherever the fuck he was.

“When did you get here?” Sasha asks him and he shrugs.

“I’ve always been here I was just in the bathroom.” Jean says, and Sasha laughs.

“Take a shot with us. We have rum.” Erwin says with a slight smile. Levi rolls his eyes and let’s me go, Erwin reaching over to the kitchen island to get Levi a shot glass.

“Fine. One shot. Then we’re leaving.” Levi says looking at me, and I just nod lazily as I hug Annie again, who just smiles and doesn’t say much else. Even drunk, she’s still relatively quiet.

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it's fine

“Just one more right? Just one more?” Mikasa teases Levi as he takes another shot with Erwin and Zeke. He’s on his sixth, I’m not sure which one I'm on. Levi just flips her off before setting his glass down.

"Fuck you." Levi says, and Mikasa laughs and leans into Eren who is high out of his mind.

"Y/n you okay?" Zeke asks as I lay my head against the couch.

"Mhm~, just tired 's all." I respond, my words blur together.

"Someones had too much to drink." Jean jokes and pokes my side. I jerk forward and laugh, before Eren holds up his blunt to me.

“ You want?” He asks, and I contemplate it for a minute. I haven’t smoked all night, might as well. I nod and he moves from his place near Mikasa to over to me, sliding the blunt between my fingers so I don’t burn myself. His eyes are slightly pink, showing how high he really was even though he seemed calm.

I lift the blunt to my lips, watching as Hange walks over to the speaker to change the song. Only now do I realize how many people are here, and that it isn’t just my friends but other people I don’t know.

Before I can register it, Levi’s next to me, his hand around my wrist as he takes the blunt and puts it out on the ashtray in front of me. He pulls me to stand, and leads me towards the door of the apartment. I wave to everyone goodbye, leaning onto Levi for support as I giggle about being over dramatic. He doesn’t answer me though, and I know where this is going.

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where or in whose sheets

And I pull up to your place on the second floor

And you're standing, smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” I say, and Levi doesn’t answer, instead pressing himself closer to me. We’re on his couch, my shoes are god knows where. My shirt is somewhere else entirely while his hands fumble with the back of my bra. Had we both been sober we would’ve been past this by now, but we’re not.

“Shut up and help me. I cant think with you like this.” Levi says, clearly frustrated. I sigh and shake my head, sitting up. He sits and stares at me before I say it again.

“ Levi this is wrong.” I say, and he frowns. He stands and moves away from me, on the farther side of his living room. “Your right.” He says, looking down. He stands by his large windows, the balcony showing behind him. It’s dark out, the street lights doing nothing but define his body even more than it already is. I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

This is wrong.

He has a girlfriend.

He cheated on me. With Petra. He isn’t mine anymore, he’s her’s.

If Megumi knew he would kill me. If he was here he would be so disappointed. I look back at Levi, who’s looking at me. His eyes are trailing down my body, and for the first time in a long time I feel self conscious under his gaze.

It’s been so long.

If Megumi was here he’d ask why I would do this to him.

But he isn’t here.

“Ah fuck it.” I say, standing and walking over to him. He doesn’t have time to question me. I pull him into a kiss, moving to undo the straps of my bra, letting it fall off my shoulders. “This is probably a bad idea.” I say against his lips, and he laughs, his hand tapping my thigh, before I feel him pick me up.

“Maybe, but it’s the best thing we’ve ever agreed on.”

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it's fine

“Levi- Levi fuck-“ It’s hard to be quiet now. The blankets aren’t even on the bed anymore, neither are our clothes. Levi doesn’t let up though, his forehead against mine.

“What? Missed me too much?” He asks, but he doesn’t let me answer, instead his lips crash into mine, teeth smacking against one another in a hungry kiss. My legs wrap tighter around his waist, pulling him closer.

“I did. Fuck, I’m close.” I say, almost entirely out of breath. The heavy breathing makes me lightheaded, the pillows long scattered off the bed, so my head hits the mattress.

“He can’t fuck you like I can. He doesn’t know you like I do.” Levi says, his brows scrunched up together. He’s upset.

“He doesn’t, he could never.” I say back, and it’s true. Megumi was nice, he was a good guy. But he wasn’t Levi. Levi grins at this, grabbing my face and pulling me into a rough kiss. It’s enough to make my back arch, enough to send me over the edge.

This is a horrible idea.

But if it’s so bad why does it feel so good?

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

Can't two people reconnect?

The biggest lie I ever said

I just tripped and fell into his bed

My brain goes-

I can't hear my thoughts

The biggest lie I ever said

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I just tripped and fell into his bed

50 notes · View notes

jedipoodoo · 2 years

Note

Hi! I can't get enough of your writing it's so good!! Could I request a songfic with Hunter x Reader or just the squad in general (song is Rewrite the Stars or The Other Side, both are from The Greatest Showman, you choose) If you don't know either of these songs or don't do songfics then just forget this request 😅 Thank you!

NNNNNNN REWRITE THE STARS IS MY KRYPTONITE

I don't necessarily write songfics anymore, but I can definitely write fics inspired by the requested songs 😘

Notes: Jedi reader, gender-neutral, forbidden romance, anidala vibes 'cause they're the OG, injuries, injured Hunter

Tags: @djarrex for the divider and @queenquazar cuz she said so.

Say That It's Possible (Sergeant Hunter x Jedi!Reader)

"The planet is for the most part uninhabited, so there's no concerns with holding back."

"You mean we get to blow it all to bits?" Wrecker grinned with a little too much enthusiasm.

You laughed softly, redirecting your gaze to the hologram of Boz Pity in front of you, "I don't think we have quite enough firepower to blow it completely to bits, but yeah. Go wild."

"Only after we have obtained the data necessary to interfere with the Separatist attacks on Bothawui and Takodona," Tech reminded you all.

You nodded, "after we get the data, General Vos and his troops should provide us with the backup needed to take down the Separatist's base."

Wrecker didn't care, he was already calculating how many explosives you would need to load onto the Marauder before you left. It was clear you wouldn't get anything else out of them for now, so you dismissed the boys with a wave of your hand, telling them to pack up and be ready to move out within two standard hours.

The others left without a hassle, but the Sergeant stopped halfway to the door, nervously tapping his foot. Not that you noticed, you were trying to look busy with the hologram and getting a closer look at the base.

"Anything else?" Hunter asked quietly.

You looked up, only for your eyes to meet his for a moment before you glanced back down at your datapad.

"What else is there?" you replied, shuffling sheets of flimsi into a haphazard stack.

Hunter froze.

"Yeah, you're right. What else..."

He shook his head and snatched his helmet from the holo-table.

"Hunter-!" You took a couple steps after him, and he spun to glare at you.

"You really wanna pretend that what happened last night wasn't real? We're just gonna prance about ignoring all of that?"

"I don't prance-"

"That's what you're hung up about!?" Hunter said.

You folded your arms tightly. Trying to do anything but remember what Hunter had told you last night.

There had been too much wine, the taste of meiloorun was still sharp on your tongue, mixed with the rum and lime Hunter had been drinking. It had been a rough few months, and you didn't think it was anything more than stress relief in some dark corner of 79's until he started talking, murmuring sweet words against your skin. Drunkenly, you'd echoed it all back in response, only for the realization of what you'd just confessed to rip you from your drunken stupor for long enough to push Hunter away and stumble to a cab, taking you back to the Jedi Temple. A pounding headache and the feeling of his lips on yours had kept you awake all night.

"What do you want me to say, Hunter?" You demanded, "That I love you and we can just drop everything and disappear? You know we can't."

"I know," He grunted, frustrated.

"You have your brothers and I have the order, we can't just leave them."

"I know," Hunter growled. You reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled back. Hunter's eyes flickered to your hand, you could see the instant when his heart broke.

"We're in the middle of a war, it's too dangerous to just leave. Why can't we go back to the way things were? Why can't we just be friends?"

"Friends?" Hunter asked, as if the word was foreign to him, "Just friends?"

You took a step back at the bite in his words. You knew that Hunter would never hurt you, but you had never heard him this angry before.

"People who are just friends don't look at each other the way you look at me, I know that much," he growled, "Just friends don't stay up all night talking about all sorts of nonsense just to spend a couple more seconds together, and 'Just Friends' don't make me feel the way you do."

You shook your head in denial, "Hunter, I don't understand, why can't we just-"

"I can't!" Hunter's helmet clattered to the ground as he waved his arms, "Because I karking love you, that's why!"

The confession rang out in the empty ops room, and your heart was beating too fast for you to worry about anyone having heard his confession.

You took a deep gulp of air, and Hunter was breathing heavily. He wouldn't look at you, as much as you silently begged him to look up.

Slowly, carefully, he picked up his helmet, looking it once over for damage.

"You...you love me?" You stammered, leaning back against the holotable.

A beat of silence, then Hunter nodded.

"I...understand now that you don't feel the same way. My apologies for being too forward."

"Hunt-"His name died in your throat as he placed his helmet back on his head.

"I'll meet you at the ship, General," The title slid down the back of your mind like ice. None of the boys had ever called you that before, certainly not Hunter. The door slid shut behind him, and you fell to your knees in front of the table.

Neither of you were paying too much attention on the mission. The others could almost see the tension in the air between you and your Sergeant, but they didn't comment on it. Perhaps they knew if they approached you or Hunter about it they might find themselves missing a couple of fingers.

Master Vos had commed you to let you know they were running a bit behind with the seige at Saleucami, but that was okay, because you and your squad weren't exactly ahead of schedule either.

You were still unable to get the data you needed, leaving Tech upset, and you hadn't been able to blow much up yet, so Wrecker was getting antsy. Crosshair was being grumpier as usual because everyone was still getting used to Echo. And of course, Hunter was still giving you the cold shoulder, out of 'respect' of course, but still.

The blade of your lightsaber slashed back and forth through the droids in a blur of burning light as the six of you exchanged short comments to update your positions, stubbornly refusing to ask each other for help.

"This is no way to work as a team," You could hear your old Master shaking his head in disappointment, only to place a hand on your shoulder and give you an understanding smile.

"How can you expect to succeed without the help of those who love you?"

Okay, so maybe the word "love" wasn't in Mace Windu's vocabulary, but the sentiment was there. How would that sentiment change if he knew about your feelings for Hunter? You found it hard to believe that he would be very encouraging of the idea, but he would doubtlessly be disappointed in you for letting it fracture your team like this.

You ducked beneath a fallen tree, switching off your lightsaber to think.

"Wrecker, Hunter, We need a distraction at the southeast corner. There should still be a weak spot there from the other day."

"What kind of distraction?" Wrecker asked.

"Whatever kind you can muster," You said, "Echo, Tech, can you make it to the maintenance entrance on the west side in five minutes?"

"You got it, General!"

You exhaled deeply. "Crosshair-"

"The ramparts are cleared, mesh'la," he said.

"Language," Hunter bit out, the same harsh tune he'd been using all week.

An icy silence settled over the comms.

"Um...what do you mean?" Echo asked.

"We call them that all the time!" Wrecker said, more to Hunter than over the comms.

Well, you'd managed to get your team working together again. Now you just had to figure out how to work with Hunter again.

"Wrecker, I'm headed your way. Let me know what I can do to help."

By the time you made it to the southeast corner, Wrecker was chucking fallen tree trunks at the wall like giant javelins, and Hunter was picking off droids with his blaster in one hand and his knife in the other.

Your lightsaber ignited as you ran towards them, leaping over Hunter's head to take out the spider droid approaching them from behind.

Hunter froze for a moment, watching as you brushed sweat from your forehead, but he looked away once he realized you had noticed.

"Echo, Tech, how we doing?" He asked.

"We're in, all quiet now. We're not too far from the ops room," Echo said, a lightness in his voice allowed you to be hopeful.

"The droids are moving towards your position," Crosshair warned, "and they've got something with them."

"Please tell me it's another tank!" Wrecker said giddily, hefting another tree trunk into the air above his head.

Your gut shifted sourly with a whisper from the force, and Hunter looked at you, sensing the same thing. A tank came around the corner, and even without taking aim, it fired at you. You didn't move, intending to redirect the blast to the Separatist's own base with the force, but you didn't expect the blast to throw you to the ground.

"Hunter!" Wrecker's voice rang in your ears. The tree trunk went flying through the air, jamming into the tank's cannon the moment it tried to fire, blowing it sky-high along with a good chunk of the wall.

Droids were everywhere, and before your vision had cleared you were already on the defensive. You had to keep their focus on you, then the others would have a hope of getting out alive. that was your job, to sacrifice everything for these men, for the galaxy.

It took a moment for the ringing in your ears to clear, just in time for you to hear Crosshair shouting your name and Tech reporting that they had successfully acquired the intel and had already beamed it off to the generals on Bothawui and Takodona.

You nodded, chest heaving.

"Everyone regroup back at the Marauder," you had to contact General Vos and give him the good news.

You turned from the carnages of burning walls and scraps of droids to see Wrecker cradling someone in his arms, looking almost forlorn in his imposing helmet.

Through the smoky haze, you could make out a burn on his torso, and the white half-skull painted on his helmet.

"Hunter!" You screamed.

You were at his side in an instant, and the bruises forming on your knees and thighs told you what had happened.

"Idiot, stupid, di'kut," You muttered, searching for his hand to grasp it, to let him know you were there. You looked over his body, searching for injuries. His helmet had absorbed most of the impact to his head, but it was still enough to leave him dazed, and the blaster burn on his side looked ugly. Though he was knocked out, you could sense his body crying out in pain through the force, begging for relief.

"I could've taken it, I could've taken it, you idiot," You whispered, sniffing as tears began to form.

Echo and Tech waved to the two of you, more droids were coming. When you didn't move, Wrecker grabbed your arm and pulled you into the trees with the others.

Returning to the Marauder was a daze. You barely registered sending the message to General Vos telling him that Boz Pity was all his. you were too distracted with Tech and Crosshair busying themselves about Hunter's cot with cases of bandages and med-patches.

"He's waking up," Echo warned, and you jumped up from your seat. You could sense him through the force. At first he just felt the exhaustion, and then the pain hit him like a Light Cruiser, and he cried out. His whole body tensed as his senses became overwhelmed with the scent of blood, bacta, burnt fabric, and the rapid beeping of the portable EKG.

"We'll have to knock him out," Tech grit his teeth as Hunter grunted in order to hold back a scream.

"He'll have to go through the same thing all over again when he wakes up," Crosshair reminded him.

"We have to finish treating his wounds. He risks reopening them if we keep going now."

You pushed past them, snatching Hunter's hand from the cot.

"Hunter," You said sharply. He froe for a moment, and you squeezed his hand tightly.

"Hunter, I need you to relax. Can you focus on me? Only on me?"

Hunter bravely took a deep breath, and looked up at you.

"It hurts," He muttered, but his body had stopped thrashing enough for Crosshair to go back to cleaning the wound.

Hunter hissed at the sting of antiseptic, and you squeezed his hand. "Hunter, no, look at me," You begged, kneeling next to him. You really didn't want to be the general right now. Hunter's jaw rotated as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Hunter," You ran your fingers over his bandana, brushing sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.

Hunter sighed heavily, and turned to look at you. You tried to smile at him, but tears pricked at your eyes.

You should say something to him. Something, anything to distract him from the pain he was feeling right now.

But instead, a question tumbled out of your mouth.

"Why did you do that, you di'kut? You know I can take care of myself!"

Hunter bit his lip as he pondered what to say. He sucked in a deep breath between his teeth when Tech placed the last bacta patch on his burn.

"I was scared," He admitted at last. His voice was hoarse, and you fumbled for his canteen.

"Scared of what?" You snapped, "You're the Sergeant of the Bad Batch, nothing scares you!"

Despite wincing at the tugging on his torso, Hunter's other arm swung around, cupping your cheek in his hand.

"You really think that, Cyare?" He murmured.

Crosshair and Tech looked at you both in surprise, and Echo started to usher them both from the room.

"Hunter," You whispered.

He remembered where he was. His hand fell away, and he rolled back onto the cot. He tried to pull his hand from you, but was surprised when you held tight, pulling his hand to your cheek.

His eyes went wide as her felt your tears on the back of his hand.

"Gen-" He stopped himself as you hid a wince.

"Cyare," He corrected himself, "Are you sure?"

You paused, but nodded, "I can't lose you, Hunter. I'm sorry I never said it before, but I was..." You trailed off into a sort of shrug. He knew.

"I understand if your feelings have changed or if you don't want me anymore, but if...if you do..."

You took a shaky breath, "I'm willing to give it a try."

Hunter pondered your words as the EKG beeped out a steady rhythm. Wrecker was in the cockpit trying to ask the others what was going on, but none of them were looking.

When Hunter still said nothing, you tried again.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you sine that night, since that day. You don't know how I'm holding myself back from running to you every time I see you. You don't know that you are the last thing I think of before I fall asleep at night, and you don't know that your voice is what keeps me from crumbling to the darkness when things become too much."

Hunter's fingers gently stroked your cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear. "I will always love you. In every lifetime, in every world, in every language. I love you, even if it means letting go of you for a little bit." You pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand, "You have me now," you promised.

Hunter pulled you down to his level, and you tried to be gentle with his injuries even as he pulled you closer, his free hand cradling the back of your head. The EKG beeped a rapidly for a moment, until Hunter got used to the sensation. You took a step back, insisting that he needed to breathe.

"So what does this mean?" You asked bashfully. Romantic relationships weren't the forte of your Jedi training.

"We can figure it out as we go, right?" Hunter asked. He looked a little embarrassed, and it was obvious that neither one of you knew what you were doing. You laughed a little, resting your forehead against his.

"Yeah, as we go," You agreed, "It won't be easy."

Hunter snorted, giving you a tired smile, "I don't need easy, Cyare, I just need possible."

#lizart writes #sergeant hunter #the bad batch #the bad batch x reader #tbb x reader #tbb hunter #sergeant hunter x reader #hunter #tbb hunter x reader #hunter x reader #jedi reader #sergeant hunter x jedi! reader

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finn-m-corvex · 6 months

Text

Someone You Loved

Needed a brain break from Whumptober so I wrote this in an hour instead. Haven't listened to Lewis Capaldi for a long time but this song popped up in my playlist and it gave me Jaya vibes so here we are. Kinda similar to Sounding Sea but also not, mostly because I never thought I would write a songfic in my life, but hey, plans change. Literally almost just had a panic attack as I was cleaning this up because I thought I deleted it but nope we're all good. Enjoy everybody!

Words: 2k

TWs: depression, mentions of anxiety, basically all the same stuff as Sounding Sea.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

Oh, he was crazy alright. But maybe it was just the hunger talking.

He had never really been one for doing things halfway. Something either got all of his effort or none of his concern and there was very little in-between. Now, he was wishing that he had more gears than forward and reverse; was that why humans created cars with multiple modes? To make up for the fact that they couldn't ever take the stick and pull it back to spare their feelings? Was it all just some sick scheme of taking back control?

No, that was stupid. He let his head thunk against the stone wall behind him, ignoring the bruises littering his skin and the blood welling from the cuts and scratches inflicted across his body. Jay had plenty of stupid ideas already, what was one more?

I need somebody to heal Somebody to know Somebody to have Somebody to hold

And of course, like a goddamn fool he had fumbled it. Fucked it up most likely beyond repair, just because he didn't come with a gearshift to dial his love back. She had known better than any of the others, always picked up on his mood shifts and his anxiety and his everything before he even knew what was going on; sometimes she was even faster than Cole. Before then Jay had never met someone with that ability, because most people would turn a blind eye to him at best and try to hurt him at worst. Kinda like what was happening right now, actually.

She wasn't like most people.

First Master, how stupid was he?

It's easy to say But it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

He did. Fuck, he missed her so much. He missed the way she made him feel like he was on top of the world, like he could do anything and be anyone. Anxiety couldn't touch him, his insecurities powerless against the encouraging words she would feed him whenever he started to doubt himself. What was he now?

Stuck in a shitty pirate ship with no friends and no way of calling for help after possibly fucking all of them over for what might be the last time.

Well, at least he wouldn't be able to damn them anymore, right?

The ball and chain was heavy on his ankle, and he had to drag it up by hand so he could tuck his knees against his chest, looking up at the bright sky through the grate. His hands were blistered from how much he had been mopping the deck, but it was still much more preferable to Scrap n' Tap.

He tried to imagine how it would sound for her to say 'I love you.'

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay was still trying to imagine it when night finally fell, a dark blanket smothering out his one light source and casting the rest of his cell into darkness. He couldn't say that he ever had a problem with the dark before now, but the shadows were stretching just a little too much, the corners just a little too obscured and his vision was too fuzzy as it was adjusting to the new level of light. He supposed one of his eyes being basically out of commission wasn't helping.

Tears tried to leave his eyes but he blinked them back, determined not to cry. Nya wasn't here, and Cole wasn't here, and crying wasn't going to change that. He could do this, he could get through it.

Being left to his own devices left too much time for him to start going down memory lane, and he was thrust into the memory of the day when his world shattered apart, the shards gouging holes in his heart to leave gaping wounds that he didn't know how they would heal at the time. His head had been hurting like he had smashed it into the wooden floor of the Bounty, winded as if he just recovered from a bad fall.

He wanted it back. Why couldn't he just have it back?

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you

He loved her too much to try and push her away again, and yet here he was, keeping her at arms-length when all she wanted to do was get closer and try to help.

Younger him would've rejoiced, reveled in the knowledge that Nya wanted him out of all people, but Jay knew better now. Knew how easy it was to get swept up in the current, to lose yourself in the tide that never quite receded.

To drown in it, because eventually you would forget that you had to keep swimming.

Sleeping was something that didn't come easily to him anyway, but now it was impossible to find. Apparently he had pissed off Mr. Sandman too, as he would spend night after night springing awake from some bad dream or another, only to find some sort of project in this damn lighthouse to keep him occupied. He needed distractions; distractions from how he had left Kai behind, how he didn't protect Zane, how he had damned Cole and Lloyd and Wu and Misako and everyone else in fucking Ninjago-

But mostly? He couldn't stop thinking about he had damned her too.

Now, I need somebody to know Somebody to heal Somebody to have Just to know how it feels It's easy to say but it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

She was right there. Nya was right there and he failed her, again.

Jay shivered in his chair, looking around his parents' trailer to try and find any trace of her. The only thing he could find was a framed photo that he had given his parents forever ago, from before their messy breakup and the fights and the Djinn. From when they were still happy. Sure, they were both smiling, Jay's arm wrapped around her shoulders and her arm around his waist, but...

Were they ever really happy? Or was Jay just too scared to admit that something wasn't right?

He clutched the photograph in his hands, watching as the wooden frame started to crack under the pressure. Maybe it was just because he grew up poor, but the cost of his escape had been too steep; it should've never been her.

It never should have been her.

But it was, and there was nothing he could about it now. The best he could do was hope and pray that his plan to rescue her wouldn't fall through, because he was running out of prayers.

It worked, and the price for that had been steep too. Would the heavy costs and the sacrifices ever end?

Years passed, and against his better judgement Jay thought that maybe it would.

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall

Was it night? He couldn't tell anymore. Slipping in and out of sleep was confusing, to say the least, and he had no idea how long he had spent laying down on this uncomfortable couch before someone would be lulling him back to sleep. Mr. Sandman must be taking pity on him.

And you're not here To get me through it all

But Nya was here; he could hear her voice, whispering to him in soft tones with gentle words, kissing his cheek and then his lips and playing with his hair and trying everything she knew to try and get him back to sleep.

Was he going crazy? Again?

First Master, it really was just like the ship all over again. He didn't remember the voices being able to touch him, though. That part was new. Oh well.

Gotta enjoy a nice dream while it lasts, right?

Why did someone start sobbing when he said that out loud?

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay loved that she loved him, cared for him, trusted him, and he trusted her with his life and his soul. Knowing that she was there at his side always helped him get through the days; he was sure that he wouldn't still be here if something had ever happened to her. They were two halves of the same piece; maybe they didn't quite fit together all the way, but there was nothing they wouldn't do to make it work, that Jay wouldn't do to make it work.

So really, she had to stop doing stupid self-sacrificing shit. But he guessed that he wasn't really one to talk.

But becoming the sea?

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes I fall into your arms I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

She was never coming back around. Jay stood outside of the lighthouse, looking out across the ocean and watching as the tides flowed in and out, taking in the rocks just off-shore and the small rip-currents jaggedly cutting through the calm surface of the water.

Jay turned around, feeling the breeze start to blow his jacket into his back. Shutting his eyes, he let his element buzz around him, crackling and fizzing and popping The darkness was something familiar; he knew what to expect when he shut his eyes for too long, and he needed the familiarity no matter how traumatic the origins were. Without hesitating he let himself fall backwards into the surf, the cold water making him freeze up instantly as it washed over his face and into his nose.

He suppressed the natural urge to fight and get his face out of the water.

What was the point when she wouldn't be there to tell him how stupid he was being? To say that he should've worn a thicker jacket, to dry his clothes, to snuggle with him in the bed until he could finally feel his fingers and play with her hair?

For now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay wrote the same words over and over at least once a night. He didn't know why he was fixating so hard on them but he couldn't stop, and even now as his hands were trembling and his hair was dripping seawater onto the pages he was writing the same seven lines again. There was no one there to kiss his cheek and offer him tea and to laugh at how his hair looked like he had been dunked in a mop bucket.

He should've just stayed in the goddamn ocean.

But now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

For some reason, Jay cut out the first two lines eventually. After a while, it just got a little redundant to keep saying that the day would go away and be replaced by the night; at least, that was his best guess for why one day he started writing three lines instead of seven. He read them over and over, again and again, feeling the bitterness and the anger and the sadness consume him from the inside out, and Jay knew that Nya would not recognize the man standing on the beach if she ever decided to walk back onto land one day.

But she never would, and Jay would never get used to the loss that spread through his chest like a disease, a cancer that there was no way to treat.

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

#finn's writing #ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago songfic #jaya #ninjago jaya #shockwave #shockwaveshipping #anyways. should probably get back to work on whumptober tomorrow #but just wanted to write a little something something for you guys!

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writingattemptsxx · 21 days

Text

These words hurt.

Rumors swarm around NRC, but a lot of times they focus on a specific Moray eel. A Moray eel who wants it to stop. Floyd wants it to stop.

—

This spawned from a headcanon I have and I had to just write it so I didn't lose it or the motivation to write.

I had to just get this out so I didn't have a beta reader, so forgive any typos and stuff.

—

Songfic of Circus Hop by YonKaGor on Youtube. https://youtu.be/bjKLjGbL-W0?si=A1BLfTcFGZxdyZLT

—

Tw: Mentions/Allusion to Suicide, Self Harm, Depression Spiral, Bullying, Self Destructive Behavior

If you are struggling with any of this, please get help. This is not something you need to go through alone.

—

It's a comical yet devastating universe

But it's still the kind of universe that I deserve

The lipstick on my face has bled into my skin

It should show a grin

A smile. That’s what he’s known for. That smile turned from a stupid little form of appreciation for what he loved to an excuse to label him a monster.

Who was he kidding, he might as well be. Floyd was huge. He had sharp fangs and claws. He had the strength to overpower most normal people. He was manipulative. He was terrifying. He was a monster just like all the rumors said. Just give them their smile and have them running off spreading more.

Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry

So here's an act for everyone to sneer at

“Goldfishie!!!” Riddle was doing nothing but running from Floyd by now. The little redhead was interesting, that’s not possible to deny. The only issue is Floyd knew better. He is the type to generally pester people he wants to get to know, but just simple pestering won’t do anything. Riddle was powerful. He couldn’t be afraid of power and needed to show that.

His job was protection. Azul’s protection to be specific. Not too many genuinely knew that. What people did know, or think they knew, was Floyd finding Azul interesting. It was true, yes, but another thing they skipped is why he was interesting.

He was one of the first genuine forms of kindness Floyd knew beyond his parents and brother. Azul was skeptical at first, sure, but he had reason to be. No one paid attention to the “ugly” little octopus. They paid less attention when he was violently bullied. The twins gave him just some time of their day and fought off those idiots who were intent on making Azul’s day a living hell.

No one saw how his eyes lit up when someone gave him basic decency. No one saw how he gave that ounce of kindness back more than a thousand times over. No one saw his mind constantly whirling and creating hundreds and thousands of ideas that Floyd couldn't help but finally feel some ounce of hope for his future. A future where Azul would no longer be a “pushover crybaby”, and he put it and Floyd would no longer be a feared monster.

To get that, Floyd had to do whatever he could. Even this act. This act that he didn't fear for his life around power. This act that he wanted to hurt others. This act that these words didn't hurt. The act that he isn't just some scared and cowardly Moray wanting a hug.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a Circus Hop

People are getting bold nowadays. Coming into Monstro Lounge and actively spreading rumors like their own waiter couldn't hear them.

“I hear he maimed someone.”

“Yah? Well, I heard he gets covered in blood almost every day.”

“Two starter salads, right here.” Honestly. Are they idiots? Spreading rumors like this in their supposed threat’s domain? Just dropping the salads off and then coming back a few minutes later only reveals them back at it. It's not like this is new. Just a few more rumors to add to the many that are constantly circling. Why was he even here anymore?

I shall now accept the fact that I'm a failure (You're a failure)

'Cause I'm still afraid the future might be scarier (It is scarier)

I'll slip while having fun and cut off my own tongue

They'll think I was dumb

Every once and a while, Floyd's mind starts to wander. Who is he kidding? That's his basic state. Azul’s promised future seemed to be turning out now, but what if something happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? Professor Trien’s getting up now? Oh yeah. There was a test wasn't there? The test’s topic was actually kind of interesting. Interesting enough for Floyd to actually spend some time reading the textbook. It was a test of the change in mer and human cultures once they started connecting.

All of this was nice until the test sheet hit down on his desk and reality gave him a nice slap to the face. Who was he kidding? He wasn't the smart one. That was, and will always be, Jade. Floyd knew none of these questions. Absolutely nothing on this sheet felt like something he'd seen before.

“And start.”

Start!? Start how? Start where? Ugh. What's the point? Why not just do his typical? Randomly bubbling different answers. At least now people will think he was just uninterested. If he actually tried and failed, people would know he was stupid, not aloof. That, if anything, was probably the scariest thing. He's gotten used to how things are now. They don't have to change.

Up from the sky, I won't want you to cry

So here's an act for everyone to sneer at

That was terrifying. An overblot. Not just any overblot. Azul’s overblot. Floyd’s best friend. The one who gave him kindness. The one who gave him hope. That Azul.

Azul was now on bed rest. Jade and Floyd were trying to take care of him despite his stubborn efforts to return to normal before his body was ready. At this point, Floyd wanted to tuck in the sheets so much that Azul couldn't get up, but luckily he couldn't do that to his dearest friend. He especially couldn't do it now that he was finally asleep.

“Floyd…” All he had to do was turn around and he could see Jade’s eyebags. It has been Jade’s job to go around and get and prepare things while Floyd was by Azul’s side taking direct care of him. Time to switch, he guesses.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Got it.”

“Also… Go to Monstro Lounge and get that tea Azul likes. I want it to be here for when he's awake.”

“On it.” With that, he was out of the room, and on his way to the lounge. It only took halfway to start hearing rumors. People just couldn't shut up, could they? What worse? It was about Azul. Did nobody have decency?

“I heard his breakdown was because his contracts were shattered.”

“I heard I started he started forcefully taking powers with a single touch!”

“All that from broken contracts? What a crybaby.”

“Oooo. Careful his guard dogs might hear you. Ooooo.”

Then they laughed. They laughed. WHO do they think they are? Because Floyd knows who they are horrible people. Luckily he knew what to do to at least shut them up.

“Hey… now what was that?” He turned the corner. The idiots froze. Stock-still. “What you can't talk now? Say what. Leave now. Don't let me see you again, and I'll be merciful.” That's all it took. They bolted. People suck.

Floyd just backed up to a wall and then slid down. This was dumb. His words were dumb. The bullies were dumb. Overblots were dumb. These tears were dumb. This constant stress is dumb. Everything was just dumb. Can't he just pause time when he and his loved ones are happy? Never mind just let those bullies run off. Let them spread increasingly horrible rumors about what he just did. None of this feels real anyway.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a Circus Hop

“Hey hey! Sup?” At his voice, his classmates flinched. What? Was a simple hi dangerous now?

“Hiiii Floydddd.” They dragged out the sounds. It sounded grating. They weren't happy to see him, were they? Floyd may be dumb but he's not incapable of picking up things. Especially not if they are constantly repeated. It doesn't matter. Just keep up that dumb smile.

“Sooooo… Whatcha doing?”

“Oh! Uh… Nothing! Just packing up to return to my dorm. You know how it is… Bye!” And with that, they were off. Couldn't stand another second in his presence, could ya? What's the point of trying to make another friend again?

Trying to walk somewhere was easy enough. People shuffled out of Floyd’s way the second he was noticed. Though it felt like the worst thing possible. The stares. The stares made it horrible. Every word was laced in their glares. Violent. Scary. Malicious. Brute. Every name in the book.

Floyd shoved his books into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. What's the point anymore? What's the point of doing anything?

I've said goodbye, I don't want you to cry

So have a laugh with everyone but me.

Watching Azul and Jade work sometimes felt like something else. Two great minds competing yet working together at the same time. They were both at Azul’s desk working on the ledger or something while Floyd lies down on the sofa across from them.

Things don't even feel real anymore. Like he was watching a show. He slowly reached a shakey hand to his brother and friend. Then he realized what he was doing and snapped it back to his body before either could notice. They were doing something. He would be a bother. He just turns to lie with his back facing them.

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who fell down from the top

They did a little drop

So, sing along, it's such a silly song

He just sitting in his bed on the verge of tears. Both hands were on his head and had a death grip on his hair. It's dumb. It's ridiculous. It's lazy. It's... It's... Ugh! Floyd’s mind is circling. Every word said about him while they didn't know he was listening was clouding his head. It was a storm cloud that won't go away.

Just stop it! Just stop it! He let one of his hands off his head only to hammer it back down, the palm striking his temple. Over and over. He wanted the thoughts gone. Why wouldn't they go? Tears finally started falling. He can't stop anything anymore. Not his thoughts. Not his tears. Not the rumors. Not anything.

His hand slowed to a stop and went back to its original space. Both hands finally lost their grip as Floyd lost his grip on his emotion. He continues to just sit there as he sobs.

The cackling carousel, it spins and never stops

The acrobat who's waiting at the top

Should do a circus hop

The knocks were getting annoying. Floyd had been hauled up in his room for a few days now, and Jade and Azul definitely noticed. It only took the second day for them to start their incessant knocking.

Through the door, they begged and pleaded for him to talk to them. Each time he just told them to buzz off. Can't they just let him be? The only thing Floyd can thank them for is them bringing him meals. They just knock, tell him there's food, and leave. The only thing was once he brought it in, he couldn't bring himself to eat it. The tray of food just sits there until his body’s instincts take over and he shoves every ounce of food in his mouth.

A knock brought Floyd out of his head. “Floyd… brother… please… I just want to make sure you are ok.” Jade sounded desperate. Why? He can't understand. Doesn't he at least have something to do for the lounge?

Without his say, his arm went up. Reaching to the door. His brother sounded sad. Really sad. He was about to get up when he snapped out of it. He pulled his hand back.

…

“Go away.”

For anyone worried this is in no way a call for help, I promise I'm fine.

However, to those struggling with any of this right now, please reach out to someone who's capable of helping. You don't need to go through this alone.

#writing blog #writing #twisted wonderland #finished #angst #heavy angst #twst floyd #songfic #tw sui implied #tw depression #tw bullying #tw self destructive behavior #tw self harn

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c0smicstxrs · 11 months

Text

Baby, I'm Jealous

Summary : During another one of Tony's parties, you see some woman flirting with your boyfriend, Steve and can't help but feel jealous and insecure (songfic! Inspired by "Baby, I'm Jealous" by Bebe Rexha)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings : swearing, angst, low self-esteem, jealousy, insecure!reader, slight body dysmorphia, plus!sized reader, hurt no comfort, Steve might seem a little out of character I'm sorry 💀

Word count : 1.4K words

Author's Note : my first ever fic I'm posting on Tumblr- hope it's not too bad lol this is an older fic that's been saved on my notes app for a while now so my writing style does change later on.

Constructive criticism is appreciated ♡

You stumbled through the dim, empty hallway with a bottle of wine in your hand, the burgundy liquid splashing out on your wrists, bruising your lips once more while you took a swig of it to your mouth.

The night felt noisy and alive, loud pop music blaring through the speakers as people danced drunkenly to the beat, some holding onto their loved one's sides.

You rubbed your eyes, not caring if the mascara would come off. Blinking hard, you placed a hand on the wall to steady yourself. You didn't know if you were blinking to get a clear vision in your drunken state, or if you were blinking away tears that threatened to spill out again.

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

Steven Rogers was an amazing boyfriend, he really was.

He was everything you would expect America's Golden Boy to be- sweet, caring, protective, kind... you loved him.

But you didn't know if he felt the same way towards you.

𝑾𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒈𝒍𝒚

'𝑪𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆

It was another one of Tony Stark's parties. Music, lights and alcohol filled the lively space, and you could see people talking (flirting possibly), dancing drunkely, or hitting up on some stranger they have probably never met. It was a promising wild night.

And yet, you were sitting in a corner with Natasha, a tequila shot in hand, and eyes staring intensely at the sight in front of you.

Steve Rogers, your incredibly handsome boyfriend in an incredibly fit button up shirt, talking to an incredibly gorgeous looking woman.

She was constantly touching his muscled arm, laughing to something they were conversing about. And he was joining in too.

He looked happy and relaxed, his baby blue eyes that you grew to love so much, lit up like light bulbs. You wondered what they were talking so keenly about, 'Avengers? The 40's? Dating? About her stunning looks? 𝘔𝘦?'

It felt silly, even a little pathetic to think that. Of course not, why would they talk about you? 'It's not like I have any of those dark red lips of that woman, or her gorgeous eyes, or her fit and slim body, or her smooth skin, or her-'

You scoffed- what was this? A highschool teen drama? You're an adult, you should be able to handle this maturely. Instead, you're sending glares the poor lady's way- you could have sworn she had noticed you glaring at her by now.

"Hey, everything okay? Do you need a breather? You look like you could use some fresh air" Natasha's voice pulled you out of your thoughts, considering the option.

"Yes, actually. I do need some fresh air. I think it's time I retire for the night anyway"

As you walked past the happy duo, your nails dug into your palms. You pressed your lips together and gritted your teeth, 'Ofcourse he didn't notice me. Why would he? He doesn't love me anymore'

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆

𝑶𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈

You always knew about Peggy Carter, Steve's 'first love'.

Sometimes you wondered if he ever remembered her. Does he wish he was with her? If he ever got a chance to time travel somehow to the past, would he do it? Would he go back to the 40's? Back to 𝘗𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘺?

You wouldn't blame him if he did. She was a wonderful woman, everything about her was impressive- not only her looks, but also her brains and skill.

She worked in the SSR during the time of the second world war, went as an undercover agent many times, helped in the formation of SHIELD, stayed with Steve during hard times, and- not to mention, her dark brown hair, bold red lips, and that air of confidence that always surrounded her was very admirable.

She seemed like the perfect woman for Steve.

Compared to her, you felt like a speck of dust. You felt so small and petty. You felt like you weren't enough- that you'll never be enough for Steve. You could never match her looks, her style, her attitude, her brains, or her whole self. You could never even be half of anything she is.

You were a second choice. And you always will be. Because who are you compared to Peggy Carter, really?

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒚

'It's okay, it's not your fault. No one is the same. Everyone is their own person. You're good in your own way.'

𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆... 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕

You laughed bitterly at the thought, more hot tears spilling out of your glassy eyes.

" 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 "

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑶𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Flipping open his old compass Steve had in the 40's, a black and white photo of Peggy Carter comes into view, possibly cut from some old newspaper.

I watch as his eyes captured every detail of her, a look of love crossed his face, nostalgia overtaking his mind, probably, and a kind of sadness shone in his baby blue eyes, lips formed into a sad smile as he admired the picture.

Your stomach tightened and you looked away, feeling guilty.

Why were you feeling guilty?

Because you had come between them. Sure, it's been a long time and Peggy was probably married by now but he still admired her. He still yearned for a life with her. He still wanted to go back to her. 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳.

And you were just an obstacle in the way- unecessary baggage.

It felt wrong to think of it like that- after all, if you lost your first love, and if you knew they were still alive, you'd be devastated too. You'd want to go back too.

But why were you with Steve then?

'Because he loves her, and I love him.'

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑶𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔

Besides Peggy Carter, if there was another woman Steve would have been with, it was definitely Natasha Romanoff.

Although she was one of your best friends, you couldn't deny that she was attractive- beautiful green eyes, gorgeous red hair, great body, sharp thinking, amazing fighting skills, and that 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦.

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔, 𝒐𝒐𝒉

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

'I should really stop comparing myself with other woman that are way better than I am'

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔, 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅

Slamming my door shut, you took your heels off, throwing them across the room as you walked over to the vanity mirror to take off your ruined makeup.

After rubbing some makeup remover and a few wet wipes, you took a good look at your face.

Red, swollen eyes, dark bags under, and chapped lips.

" 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 "

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒋𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆

𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒚-𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒖𝒑, 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒆𝒈𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆

Standing up, you got ready to change out of your itchy dress, glancing in the mirror again as you stared down at your stomach.

𝑾𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒕

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝑰 𝒍��𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆

Gently lifting the extra fat on the sides, you sighed heavily and tears made their way back up again.

No matter how much you tried, how much you trained and went on diets, you felt like you could never look as slim and model-like as other beautiful woman.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒚

𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆... 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕

'Why did Steve even choose me? Clearly, there were better partners for him out there-'

𝑴𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚

-which was why you had tried looking at his text messages, search history, phone numbers etc... you felt bad, invading his privacy like that, but you knew you had to. You needed to know the truth.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒈𝒐

"Sweetheart? Are you okay?" You could hear Steve call out from the other side of the door, his large frame forming a shadow beneath.

Wiping your teary eyes, you replied a low 'yes', not trusting your own voice to come out properly without cracking.

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑶𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

"Please don't lie to me, doll. Let me in, please. We can talk what you're upset about."

"I-I'm not upset... I just need some time alone, Steve" you answered, sighing.

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑶𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔

"What happened? Is it something I did? Please, love- I'll be here for you, just let me in" he begged, and you shook your head, slowing walking to the bed.

"I'm sorry, Steve. Just leave me alone please. For this one night."

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔, 𝒐𝒐𝒉

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

You heard a pause, then a soft sigh. Footsteps echoed away from your door, faintly disappearing, and you stared at the door for a few minutes until you turned to your side and turned off the bedside lamp.

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔, 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅

Pulling the sheets close to your chest for some warmth, you lay awake in bed, moonlight dancing through the room as you stared out the window, the thoughts that cross your mind everyday echoing in your head again.

𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔

#marvel x reader fics #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #marvel angst #hurt no comfort #the avengers #mcu #steve rogers x you #mcu x reader #steve rogers x y/n #mcu x you #mcu x y/n

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 2 years

Text

Lighters In The Air

Fandom: RPF, American Actor,

Pairing: Chris Evans x Original Female Character

Characters: Chris Evans, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Scott Evans

Word Count: 3659 // Rating: Explicit

Summary: When you spilled your beer down the back of my shirt You had me when I turned around

Tags/ Warnings: My Writing, Halloween Challenge, Writing Challenge, Songfics, Meet Cute, Beach, Blowjobs, Kissing, Handjobs, Guys Weekend, Holiday, Songfic, Kisses, One Night Stands? Sorta, Spring Break, Florida Vacation, Lighters In The Air // Chris Young

Notes: This is part of my writing Challenge for Halloween 2022. All fics are based off of songs I love. The aim is to write one fic a day for 15 days straight. I’m doing a similar thing for Christmas but they will all be headcanons [requests welcome for that] Enjoy x

15 DAYS OF SONGFICS FOR HALLOWEEN (OCT 15TH - OCT 31ST)

‘Only you could book a Florida vacation in the height of spring break,’ Chris said as he placed a couple more t-shirts into his hand luggage. ‘It’ll be fun,’ Scott said rolling his eyes. ‘Yeah, when we were eighteen. Not at forty,’ Chris said. ‘Hey, we’re not all forty remember,’ Scott chuckled, ‘anyway it was the only dates we could all do. And I didn’t see you complaining when you left me with all the organising.’ ‘You’re the least busy what can I say,’ Chris said. He threw a few more toiletries into his bag and zipped it, mentally going through everything in his head. Since work took him all over the place he was an expert at travelling. Though like his work he was more of a show-up-when-told kind of guy rather than arrange every detail. That meant that the organisation of the boy's weekend he and Scott were going on with some friends had fallen into the hands of his brother. Who had informed him they were headed for sun, sea and sand on the Florida coast. The only problem was that hundreds of thousands of college kids were also due to descend on the same place.

Chris didn’t mind them. Hell years ago he’d been one of them. Partying all night, sleeping by the pool all day and drinking far too much. But he wasn’t a kid anymore. Hell out of all of the guys going he and Scott were the only ones without kids themselves. He wanted to hang out, relax, and have a few beers. The idea of pushing his way through sweaty crowds or being woken at 5 am as people made their way back to their rooms didn’t appeal to him much anymore.

‘Well that’s the way it is,’ Scott said somewhat snappily as Chris sat down on his bed. He was sitting on a chair in the corner of Chris’s bedroom waiting for his brother to pack up. Chris had only been home for one night, having just gotten back from a press tour, and now he was flying out again for four days. ‘Sorry man,’ Chris said, ‘I’m not raggin on you. Thanks for sorting everything out by the way.’ ‘It’s fine,’ Scott said waving him off. ‘So, how long before we have to be at the airport?’ ‘An hour or so,’ Scott said, ‘I said we’d meet the guys there. Before you know it we’ll be downing beers and listening to Luke Combs serenade our poker night.’ ‘Luke Combs?’ Chris asked narrowing his eyes. ‘Well yeah,’ Scott said with a smirk, ‘didn’t I mention there’s a music festival going on at the neighbouring resort?’ ‘No,’ Chris said, ‘you didn’t.’ ‘Well, there is,’ he said getting up and walking to his brother. He placed a hand on the older man’s shoulder and smiled sympathetically, ‘don’t be such a grump. It might not be that bad.’

And with that, he grabbed his and Chris’ bag off of the bed and headed out the door. Chris flopped back on the bed with a sigh. He had to be positive. Scott was right, after all, it might not be that bad.

✵✵✵

Chris was warm. Though it was still spring the evening air had a heat to it that made him uncomfortable in his T-shirt and jeans. It didn’t help that around him in every direction were people. Scott had managed to convince the guys that they didn’t want to spend their first night in their hotel playing poker and that was why Chris was in a crowd ten thousand strong watching some artist he didn’t know. He swigged his beer and swayed to the music, thankful at least that it wasn’t a genre he detested. Scott and his friends were burrowed in the crowd a little on ahead leaving him somewhat exposed though the fact he had sunglasses and a cap on hid him well as it always did. It also helped that everyone around him seemed to be too enthralled in the show or too drunk to take any notice of him.

In fact, as he looked around he found that a few people were looking behind him. Actually, most people were but as he went to turn around he felt a cool wet stream down his back. He turned around to find a couple of guys pulling another man back through the crowd and off of a girl who was standing in front of him, a now empty beer bottle in her hand.

She whipped around at looked up at him her face full of embarrassment. ‘Oh my god!’ she said, ‘I’m so sorry!’ ‘It’s okay,’ he said trying to ignore how sticky the small of his back was feeling right now. ‘No It’s not,’ she said putting her hand on his arm so he was forced to show her the spillage, ‘that stupid guy was pushing through the crowd. He knocked me over and now your shirts ruined!’ ‘Look…’ Chris started suddenly realising he didn’t know her name. ‘Laura,’ she said with a sheepish smile. ‘Laura. That guys the problem not you don’t worry about it,’ he said.

She seemed to be taking in his words and her face was pensive for a second. Then without warning, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her and through the crowd. Chris didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t know why he allowed her to pull him through towards the back of the arena but he did it anyway. Chris watched her as they moved through the people. She was at least a foot shorter than him and her brown hair spilled down her back though it was covered somewhat by a Georgia State baseball cap.

As the crowd started to thin out she stopped leading him and let his hand go allowing him to fall into step beside her. They passed security guards near the gates who let them out into a common area that was housing various stalls. There were food stalls and beer stands all around though they walked past them to a small booth near the end of the enclosure. It was odd neither of them saying anything but Chris didn’t seem to mind, in fact, he was intrigued.

They got to a tent which was manned by a bored-looking guy who was scrolling through his phone. He looked up as she stood on the opposite side of the table from him.

‘Hey Laura,’ he said eyeing Chris who was standing behind her. ‘Hey Chase,’ she said, ‘have we got any of those T-shirts left?’ ‘The volunteer ones?’ he asked. ‘Yeah that’s the one,’ she said. ‘Yeah what size?’ he said looking at her. She looked over at Chris. Chase’s happy-go-lucky attitude seemed to evaporate as he took in the man beside her. ‘Large,’ Chris mumbled watching as the boy fiddled under his desk and produced a T-shirt from a box beneath it. He handed it to Laura, not him, who in turn passed it over making Chris smirk. Feeling a little cocky Chris whipped his cap off and tossed it down on the table before he pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it on his cap quickly replacing his shirt with the new one. As he got it on he noticed Laura’s gaze lingered a little before she looked back at Chase who now seemed furious. ‘Mind if we leave these here?’ she said handing Chris’ top, hat and her own cap to the man. ‘Just collect 'em later,’ Chase said. ‘Thanks Chase,’ she said turning away and walking back down the line.

‘He’s a barrel of laughs huh?’ Chris chuckled. ‘You can't pick your workmates,’ she said with a sigh. ‘You work with him?’ He asked they were meandering down the avenue of stalls now back towards the concert. ‘Yeah, we work for the festival. Happy helpers,’ she giggled gesturing to the small logo on the T-shirt she was wearing. ‘So you help out at the festival and get to see the bands and stuff?’ he asked. ‘That’s the idea,’ she said, ‘we offer support and advice. Lost phones, ticket problems, trying to sober someone up who’s beyond wasted whilst their friends go back to the party.’ ‘Sounds…’ ‘Horrible?’ she giggled. Chris smirked. It did sound horrible. Though he was looking at it as a job for him at his age. She looked young. In her twenties definitely and when a job that came with minor perks of being at the party he could tell why it had an appeal. ‘I was going to say interesting,’ he corrected her with a smile. They were back at the gates to the venue now and both of them stood there awkwardly. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want to go back to the music. He didn’t want her to either. She was interesting. Bold. And very very pretty.

‘So,’ she said looking into the pen of people, ‘your friends are probably wondering where you are.’ ‘Nah, they were too busy enjoying themselves,’ he said. They’d spread out so far in the crowd that he doubted they would’ve even noticed he wasn’t actually there. ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘How about you?’ he asked, ‘I mean were you with someone in there or on duty or something?’ ‘I was trying to catch the end of the Luke Combs set,’ she said, ‘but it sounds like we’ve well and truly missed that now.’ ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s okay,’ she replied, ‘I mean what kind of happy helper would I be if I didn’t help you after an incident I caused.’ ‘Hey, it wasn’t your fault. And anyway I got a pretty suave new T-shirt out of the deal so win-win right,’ he said. ‘Right,’ she giggled, ‘I’m sure it’ll be just the thing you need to lure in the ladies right?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Chris said, ‘I’ll have to see.’ ‘About?’ ‘Well if you wanna go for a walk on the beach with me?’ he asked. He was feeling bold. The buzz of the alcohol and the sea air had bumped up his confidence. Laura seemed caught off guard for a moment, biting her lip nervously, then she said, ‘why not.’

Chris broke into a smile and gestured for her to turn around and head out down the small ramp that led them onto the beach.

It was evening time which meant the beach itself was all but deserted apart from those attending the event. The sun was low on the horizon, threatening to disappear soon, and making the sky an orangey purple colour. The crisp white sand was soft and not entirely easy to walk on though neither of them seemed to mind. Water lapped the shore gently and as they walked further and further was soon the only thing they could hear as the sound of the music got lower and lower.

‘So what are you doing here?’ she asked breaking the silence they’d been walking in for a couple of minutes. ‘Guys weekend,’ he said. ‘Let me guess you planned it to fall just as the colleges let out for spring break huh? she chuckled. ‘No, my brother is just a bonehead who thinks he’s still a teenager,’ Chris smiled. ‘He’s got a thing for girls gone wild?’ ‘Scott?’ he said with a hearty laugh, ‘no, let’s just say 30 girls in wet T-shirts wouldn’t do much for him. ‘Ah,’ she smiled, ‘how about you?’ ‘I think my days of chasing tail are over.’ ‘Over? What are you eighty?’ she giggled. ‘Forty-one,’ he said, ‘but with all them kids in there I sure felt eighty.’ ‘Well to me you don’t look a day over twenty-five,’ she smirked. ‘Oh yeah?‘ he said. ‘Yeah, I mean you sound ancient,’ she chuckled, ‘chasing tail? Who are you, Hugh Hefner?’ Chris ran his tongue across his teeth as he smiled inwardly to himself. Cute and funny too, ‘okay, okay, wise guy. How old are you anyway? I mean are we okay to be walking on the beach together or am I gonna find your face on a milk carton tomorrow?’

She stopped which forced him to stop too. They were a long way down the beach now, the gig barely audible anymore except for when the sound of a guitar hit the wind just right. They weren’t far from one another, actually, as they had stopped they’d turned to face one another meaning their bodies were just a foot away from each other.

‘I didn’t mean it,’ Chris said, ‘I was just messing with you..’ ‘I know,’ she said looking up at him. ‘I mean I didn’t mean to offend-‘ ‘You didn’t.’ ‘And if you wanna turn back and-’ ‘Chris?’ ‘Yeah?’ he asked nervously. Her hands reached out and pressed against his chest as she took a step towards him. ‘Kiss me?’ she said in a voice no louder than a whisper.

Chris didn’t have to be told twice. He leaned in his hands grasping her tenderly by the face as he kissed her. Her hands wrapped around him so they were flush against one another. It was slow and gentle to start with but Chris could feel his excitement building especially as her touch skirted along his back and up around his neck. After a while they pulled away, breathless. He looked at her adoringly a smile on his face that matched hers. She looked away for him for a second and his gaze followed hers to where there was a long row of vacant beach cabanas. They were small huts, each had three wooden sides and an opening facing the beach that was covered only by curtains for some privacy. When her eyes met his again they were suggestive but she didn't let him speak, instead, she grabbed his hand and led him toward the small hut. Once inside Chris looked around. It was nice. A couple of sturdy loungers made up most of the space with a couple of small tables around and hooks for hanging clothes and towels up on. He heard the swish of the curtain closing and he had no sooner turned around and Laura was back kissing him. Chris pulled her closer sinking onto one of the loungers and pulling her onto his lap. She did so in a hurry, her hands fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt as his lips went to her neck.

'Chris,' she groaned as he sucked a little though it was hard enough to leave a red mark on her skin. Her hands went into a flurry then as she yanked his shirt up and off over his head. She got up off him for a second pushing him to lay back on the recliner. She was in charge. He liked it. She was back in an instant, nudging his legs apart as she leaned in to kiss him, her fingertips trailing down his torso. His breath hitched a little as her lips started to follow their path south. She kissed down his chest, her tongue swirling around his nipple before she continued her path. He was acutely aware of how tight his jeans had become though she was seeing to that problem almost immediately. Her hands fumbled frantically with his belt and zipper until she was yanking his pants and boxers down just enough that he sprang free and right into her hand.

'Fuck,' he grunted as she massaged him, her hand pumping him gently. And then her touch was gone making him whimper, Laura smiled as she watched him needy and wanting. His eyes were almost black, his pupils blown with lust. She scooted back on the lounger and shirked her top and bra off leaving her exposed. Chris marvelled at her as her fingers massaged herself a little, taking her nipples between her fingers and pinching. He wanted to touch her too but she was just out of reach.

She bent down, so she was laying on her front, her head directly between his thighs. And then without touching him she licked a long flat swipe up his cock from base to tip. Chris grunted as her mouth took him in at the top sucking lightly at first and then harder and harder until her cheeks were hollowed out. As she teased his tip she used a hand to pump him gently. Chris' hands flew to her hair as she took him in inch by inch until he was at the back of her throat.

'Fuck,' he panted as she pulled back, releasing his cock with a pop. Her hand returned to him as she did. 'You like that baby?' she asked breathily. ‘Feels so good,’ he said adding a very shaky whimper just after as she swirled her tongue around his tip. Chris could feel his high coming quicker than ever. 'That's it, baby,' she said as his breath got faster and faster. 'Ain't gon' last,' he said. She didn't reply but she did 'hmm' in agreement as he started moving his hips up to meet her rhythm. As she tickled her fingertips down his thigh and then took his balls in her hand Chris' vision blacked out. He was cumming, hot a fast down her throat, his hips jolting furiously against her. She pumped him a couple more times until he had nothing left. Then she pulled back and climbed up so she was sitting on his thighs. Chris smiled at her, sitting up so he could kiss her properly. His hands cupped her face, kissing her tenderly. He could taste himself on her and it caused his cock to twitch a little, already gearing up for round two.

But just as his hands went to fumble with the button on her shorts her phone buzzed in her back pocket.

'Shit,' she said, pulling back from him and reaching into her pocket. Not one to be slowed down, Chris' mouth went to her neck, his hand palming her breast, running his thumb over her nipple. 'Ignore it,' he whispered but she held the phone to her ear, trying to ignore the warmth in her belly and the dampness in her panties as she tapped her screen to answer the call, 'hey...no...can't it wait...right fine.' Chris pinched her nipple making her squeak, 'yeah okay bye.' He chuckled into her neck at her whimper. 'Chris,' she moaned, 'I gotta go.' 'Stay,' he whispered, trying to unbutton her shorts but she placed her hands over his and pulled back. 'I can't,' she said. 'Ten minutes,' he said, 'tops.' 'Believe me, I want to,' she said with a sad smile, 'but I'm technically still on the clock.' 'Oh really?' Chris chuckled. 'What can I say? I'm a happy helper who always goes the extra mile,' she giggled leaning in so she could give him a quick chaste kiss. Chris's hands ghosted her hips as she pulled out of his grasp grabbing her bra and shirt off of the floor. Chris sighed and tucked himself back into his pants as she shook her hair out. He grabbed his new shirt off the floor and shuffled up off of the lounger. She pulled the curtain open and stepped through, holding it aside for him to follow her. The sun had gone now and the sky was inky though bright with stars.

'I've gotta head to the hotel so it's probably better if I head back this way,' she said, gesturing to the hotel the opposite way from where they came. 'Okay,' Chris said a little downtrodden, that their time together had been snatched away even sooner than expected. 'See you round yeah?' she said. As she did she came towards him, leaning up so she could kiss him one more time. And then, she headed down the beach away from him. He looked around. It was still deserted but he didn't really feel like heading back to all the kids that would now be no doubt wasted. He watched as she got to a ramp that led away from the beach, his gaze not leaving her until she was out of sight.

With a sigh, he turned around and started trudging back towards the party. As he got back to the gates of the venue he found Scott standing outside his phone to his ear. As his brother spotted him a look of relief fell on his face for a second but it was quickly replaced by irritation.

'Where've you been?' Scott asked as Chris neared him. 'For a walk,' Chris lied. 'I've been calling you for the past ten minutes,' he said, waving his phone in Chris' face which was showing his call list, 'and why have you got another shirt on.' 'Sorry,' Chris said, 'and some guy spilled his beer down my back. The venue gave me a spare.' 'Yeah well next time answer your phone,' Scott said his face mellowing a little, 'come on the guys have headed back inside we thought we could find a bar or something.' 'Okay,' Chris said. 'And you should go and get changed. Give that shirt back to those 'happy helpers' or whatever they're called,' Scott said, 'we don't want people coming up to us asking for god knows what.' 'Oh yeah I will,' Chris said. As they walked on Scott chewed his ear off about what he'd missed down at the front where he'd been standing but Chris wasn't listening. He was already planning his next trip to the happy helper station in the morning. Maybe his brother was right. This trip might not be so bad after all.

Guitars on the gulf breeze, Smoke rings 'round the neon Moonlight in your blue eyes 'Neath that Georgia hat that you had on

Just one night to hold you No, that ain't what I call fair But the memories burn in my mind Like those lighters in the air

#my writing #lighters in the air #chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans x ofc #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #song fic #halloween writing challenge

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i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky · 5 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for tagging me @bbluejoseph <3

1.how many works do you have on ao3?

100 !!

2.what's your total ao3 word count?

831,744 words (after i orphaned like 100k+ words with fics that i didn't like anymore sooooooo could be a million i think...)

3.what fandoms do you write for?

mostly twenty one pilots, but also the umbrella academy and tried to write some good omens fics this year

4.what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ehhh almost all of them are twn fics and i don't think they deserve these kudos and got them only bc the fandom is popular so i won't add the links but:

5.do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!! i say thank you!!

6.what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Bambi

7.what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pale Moonlight

most of my fics have happy endings... i don't even know which one is the happiest dflkfghjh

8.do you get hate on any fics?

no :)

9.do you write smut? if so, what kind?

at times! awkward and unsexy and sad; im better at writing tension than actual thing. and i think i enjoy it more

10.do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

the only crossovers i've written were bandom fics and bandom is basically... a bandom

11.have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so

12.have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, multiple times!

13.have you ever co-written a fic before?

technically, twice. one of them is posted and we finished it together, and another one is my current wip (the idea belongs to my friend, and we started it together, but i'll finish it according to their plan)

14.what's your all time favorite ship?

joshler. if there was only one ship left, it'd be them for me. i always know what to write about them, platonically or not

15.what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really hope i will never get into this situation. it's my biggest writing fear

16.what are your writing strengths?

writing whump, writing songfics without QUOTING songs, finishing fics, encouraging people to write their own fics <3

17.what are your writing weaknesses?

my grammar is not perfect. also, no idea how to write romance

18.thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if it works, it works, so go for it!!

19.first fandom you wrote for?

fall out boy fsdklhghfhh

20.favorite fic you've written?

Bright And Early For Their Daily Races the process of writing it itself is very important to me, and so is this fic. i tried to recreate this vibe in a few different works but nope. it's my best one, in my opinion. <3

---

tagging: @pantaloonwarrior @gabetheunknown @merrilark

#this is mostly about joshler fics because its my favorite ship of all time

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 6 months

Note

I would like to make a songfic request with the song "I wouldn't mind-(s)he is we" with Maurice and his S/O plz

BOY this made me feel things XD

🎶 Songfic Meme 🎶

DISCLAIMER: This is a songfic to the song “I Wouldn't Mind” by (S)he is We! I don’t own the song, don’t claim to, and am not profiting off this piece at all.

Merrily we fall out of line, out of line I’d fall anywhere with you, I’m by your side swinging in the rain, humming melodies we’re not going anywhere until we freeze I’m not afraid anymore I’m not afraid

Really, MAURICE isn’t sure how he got so lucky with (Name).

They’re so kind to him, and even his behavior that would drive other people off hasn’t driven them off yet. (He’s waiting. Waiting for it to happen. Because it always does.)

It’s had the strange effect that, rather than them falling at his feet, he’s fallen at theirs. They don’t cling to him; he clings to them, desperately. He would follow them to the ends of the Earth if they asked him to.

It almost fills him with shame, the idea that he’s fallen so deeply in love that he’s become devoted wholly to them. This isn’t like him, is it? If his father could see him, the man would probably think Maurice was pathetic for acting so… soft.

But then (Name) gives him a kiss, and says something nice to him, and runs their hand through his hair, and suddenly what his father would think is the farthest thing from his mind. His reaction doesn’t terrify Maurice like it does when he isn’t with (Name).

When they’re not around, that worry consumes his thoughts as soon as he thinks about them. If they’re present, though, he doesn’t care. It becomes so inconsequential he almost forgets that it’s a concern.

He loves them so much, it drowns everything else.

forever is a long time but I, I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side

“Do you want to get married someday?”

It comes out of his mouth before he can even think about stopping it. This has been something that’s occupying his thoughts lately, so it’s only natural that he might blurt out a question like that eventually.

Apparently, all it takes is (Name)’s fingers sifting through his perfectly spiraled curls as he rests his head in their lap. That is what takes him apart. That’s so sad, isn’t it? It’s such a simple gesture. So full of love from them, no matter how undeserving he is of it.

They smile down at him and just continue playing with his hair. If they’re at all caught off guard, they don’t show it. “… Well, do you?”

carefully we’ll place for our destiny you came and you took this heart and set it free every word you write and sing is so warm to me so warm to me I’m torn, I’m torn to be right where you are I’m not afraid anymore I’m not afraid

The clever response was something he wasn’t expecting, however. Shouldn’t the very fact that he asked in the first place be enough of a clue to them that he does want to get married?

It’s just… that’s always been one of his goals. It’s a typical one for most people, he thinks. Lately, after finding them, something about that particular goal has shifted irreversibly.

No longer is this dream of his to simply get married. Instead, the dream has become that he wants to get married to (Name). If he had to get married to someone else — someone his father chose for him, probably — he doesn’t know if he could bear that.

“I think so,” he mumbles, turning to press his face against their stomach. He hates it when they see him blush, because he thinks he ought to be able to hold himself together better than that. “It sounds kind of nice, doesn’t it? Making a home together… having babies… being together forever.”

They tilt their head. “Together forever? You wouldn’t get bored of me, would you?”

Part of him wonders how they could even possibly think that, but then he remembers that he’s… him. He’s had quite a few lovers, and everyone views him as someone fascinating, worth getting to know, worth being with. Of course they’d be insecure, thinking of the relationship compared to everyone else who wants Maurice’s attention.

He gives a gentle rub to the side of their thigh. “No, not for a minute. I love you very much, my dear. Marriage is ‘till death do us part’, isn’t it? I know that’s a long time, but… you make me feel happier than I’ve felt in a while. I think if I got to be with you every day for the rest of my life, I still don’t think it would be enough. But it would be the best ‘not enough’ of my entire life.”

forever is a long time but I, I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile I wouldn’t mind it at all I wouldn’t mind it at all

When they lean down to give him a kiss, coaxing him out of his little hiding spot, he almost forgets how to breathe.

“I love you too,” they hum. Within seconds, he’s clamored up to sit with them instead of just relaxing, and he feels the need to hold them as close as he can. To their credit, they seem to thoroughly melt into the embrace. “If I make you happy… then that’s all I could ever ask for. You’d be the best ‘not enough’ of my life as well.”

He has to laugh at that, before leaning over to kiss their neck. How far could he go with this…? If he goes too far, could he wake up? There are times when he thinks this is a dream because of how happy he is with (Name).

He stays where he is, pressing his lips to their skin. (And, maybe in a moment, his teeth. For now…) “I want you to be the thing I wake up to in the morning,” he whispers. “Anything or anyone else… it wouldn’t feel right. Even if the day I formally ask you to marry you might be a long way off… would you say yes? When I finally ask you, will you be ready to spend your life with me, and perhaps even longer than that?”

Their eyes roll closed. Their arms are tight, secure, around his waist as if they don’t want to let go of him. Possessive; he likes that side of them. “Of course. I’ll say yes. Take your time in asking me, only when you feel ready, but… but I can’t wait.”

Actually, he can’t either.

He’ll just need to find a ring first.

you so know me pinch me gently I can hardly breathe forever is a long, long time but I, I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile I wouldn’t mind it at all I wouldn’t mind it at all.

#Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Maurice #Maurice Cole #songfic #scenario #romantic #fluff #domestic #UGHHHHHH MY HEART IS FULL #one hell of a queue

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