#EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED DUMPSTER FIRE

[malamira]

I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE MY HEART (EVEN IF I DON'T REALLY SHOW IT)

synopsis: co-workers to enemies to friends...? no, that's not right. they skipped the friends part entirely. so, the benefits are... what, exactly?

a/n: wrote this years ago and decided to bring it back to life! with a few edits and revisions, of course. i know some people were disappointed that i took this off the internet, so here it is!

i plan on reposting majority of smutmas at some point throughout the year, so if it's anything to look forward to, i hope you keep your eyes peeled!

— 💓 —

The repetitive ringing tone in Inuyasha’s ears made him grip his steering wheel harder. “Come on, Kagome,” he hissed. “Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

Finally, the tell tale sign of a click resounded. “Hello?”

“Thank fucking God,” he breathed out. “Where are you?”

“I’m out,” she said, and he could hear the bass in the background. “What’s up?”

“Where? I’m picking you up.”

“What? In—” She let out a sharp breath. “No! Are you crazy?”

“Halfway there,” he muttered under his breath. “Look, I’ve had a shitty day, and I need you to blow off some steam.”

“Should I be flattered?” she said sarcastically, then softer, as if she pulled away from the phone. “Just work. I—Hey, Sango, wait—”

He was halfway to the business district and decided to pull over at an emergency bay. The sounds of a scuffle was heard on the receiver, short puffs of wind and rustling. Sooner than later, a new voice floated into his ear. “Hello? Who is this?”

“Kagome’s boss,” Inuyasha snapped.

“Wait—Inuyasha? Why is Inuyasha calling you?” That last part was softer, said to Kagome. She came back. “Why are you calling Kagome?”

“None of your business!”

“Sango!” Inuyasha heard, in various volumes. She must’ve been struggling to snatch her phone back. “Give me back my phone!”

“Of course it’s my business,” Sango said. “She’s my best friend and you’re garbage. Why are you calling her?”

“Garbage?” Inuyasha exclaimed, affronted. “I thought we were friends!”

“The amount of sex you have is unhealthy and every relationship you’ve had has been a dumpster fire,” she pointed out.

“I’m twenty-nine,” he snapped. “The amount of sex I have is just fine, thanks. And it's not my fault all my exes were psychos!”

“Don't call them psychos when you're part of the problem!"

Inuyasha held himself back from flinging his phone. "Ju—"

"The reason why they ended so badly was because you’re an emotionally constipated asshole incapable of communicating and you know it!”

He tried to not break the phone in his grip. This was not the time nor the place to deep dive into his personal issues. "Not the time, okay, Sango? Just let me talk to Kagome."

“Are you gonna have sex with Kagome, too?” she needled.

Sango didn’t have to know the honest answer to that question. “No, for God’s sake. We have an emergency deliverable on Monday.”

“It’s Friday night! Well past office hours!”

“Ask Kagome if she wants to work on it over a full weekend or start tonight and finish tomorrow to get Sunday off,” he snapped.

Sango was evidently Not Happy. “Fine. Ugh, fine. The one time I actually manage to get her out of the house… Kagome, here.”

More rustling.

“Thank you,” Kagome said. “Hey, sorry. So what was that?”

“Sango thinks we’re having too much sex.”

“I heard her little tirade. I know it's a you problem."

Jesus fucking Christ. “Whatever. Message me where you are as soon as I hang up,” he demanded. “Every second longer will make me want to fuck you rougher.”

“You’re so impatient,” she complained. “This is why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

He ignored her and ended the call. His phone darkened as he waited, then lit up again a full minute later, her name popping up on the screen. It took her a full minute. He smirked as he shifted gears and sped away.

—

As soon as he picked her up, he sped over to a fairly full parking lot and parked in the darkest corner he could find. Before she could ask, he unbuckled his seatbelt and practically assaulted her, pressing his lips to hers and palming her breast over her shirt.

“Inuyasha,” she gasped when he pulled away.

“No bra?” he grinned wickedly. “I should be so lucky.”

“Wasn’t for you,” she snapped, and somehow that irritated him. She pushed him off her. “And what gives? I thought we were going to your place.”

“I’m impatient.”

She shook her head. “No. If I’m gonna be a booty call, I’m gonna get the whole nine yards. That means sex on a comfortable bed and a shower immediately after.”

“Jesus, you’re demanding,” he grumbled, strapping his seatbelt back on and reversing out of the parking lot. “Even my exes didn’t make me work this hard.”

“That explains why we’ve been having sex longer than you’ve been in any relationship,” she quipped.

He didn't respond. Was it Psychoanalyze Inuyasha Night? What the fuck?

His house was a bit of a drive from the central business district, maybe around thirty minutes, and normally Kagome liked to fill the silence. When she wasn’t chatting up a storm like she normally would, he reached over with one hand to push her skirt upwards as he caressed the inside of her warm thigh. “What are you thinking?”

That pulled her out of her reverie. “Huh?”

“Normally you’d be halfway through your tenth conversation topic by now,” he said, flicking on his turn signal. His eyes darted to his mirrors before switching lanes. “What’s up?”

“Oh. Uh, nothing. I just… I guess I didn’t realize it’s been over a year.”

“Since we started having sex?”

“Since your last relationship.”

His face soured. “Can we not talk about that? I wanted to get laid tonight, and you’re killing my boner.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” Kagome reached over and twirled a silver lock that escaped the bun on his head around her finger. “I did this because I wanted to help you, you know.”

Inuyasha scoffed. “And the fact that you also broke up with Kōga around the same time had nothing to do with it?”

“Well, I didn’t say I wasn’t also doing it to help myself.” She shrugged, more nonchalant than he liked. “I’ve always found you cute. Didn’t expect you to say yes to this kind of… arrangement, honestly.”

“Didn’t expect you to propose it,” he said, glancing at her. “Given our… history.”

“You mean you being a complete asshole to me every time you saw me?”

He winced. That was deserved. “I said I was sorry.”

“I know.” She trailed her finger along his jaw. “But… I don’t know. I think I’m not… I think I’m not helping you, anymore.”

His hand stopped the motions along her thigh. “Care to elaborate?"

"Maybe this whole arrangement is just a band-aid solution for your actual relationship problems?" she mused aloud.

"What?"

“Are you even seeing anyone? Like, at all?” she asked, nose wrinkling as she spoke. “Wasn’t that the deal? We blow off steam through sex, go on with our lives. We see other people, and stop this as soon as we do. That’s what we talked about.”

“So? What are you trying to say?” Something clicked in his brain that made him stiffen. “Have you been seeing someone else?” Inuyasha asked, unreasonable rage simmering beneath his skin. “Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Can you not freak out?” Kagome snapped. “You’re overreacting.”

“I’m not—” he huffed, pulling his hand back and setting it on the steering wheel. “Just give it to me straight. Are you seeing someone else? Enough to make you—make you want to stop… whatever this is?”

“What if I said yes?”

He didn’t know what he would feel—that was a lie, he knew exactly what he would feel, but the unpleasant way his stomach curled, like he was just punched in the gut; the intensity of it wasn’t something he was expecting. He turned to a familiar emotion, instead. “Then why the fuck are you here, then?”

“You called me, remember?” she shot back.

“You didn’t have to say yes!”

“That’s not the point!” she snapped, adjusting herself in the passenger seat to fully face him.

“Then what is your point?!”

“My point is is that maybe this—this—this arrangement is starting to be harmful rather than helpful!” she shouts, throwing her hands in the air and narrowly missing the ceiling of his car. “Just being fuck buddies is becoming a problem! We’re both not in relationships but regularly see each other, and it’s stopping us from seeing other people!”

“We don’t stop each other from seeing other people!” he shot back.

“Inuyasha, I’m not wearing a bra, I have a condom in my purse, and I was ready to get wasted in a club. Yet I’m in your car on my way to your place because I will have sex with you.”

Despite the sheer irritation that manifested itself on his face, Inuyasha took the time to deeply inhale, then exhale. Dealing with Kagome was a true exercise in patience if he’d ever had one, and he’d since learned that she was more receptive when he was visibly calm, or at the very least not shouting, mainly because he’d observed that she felt dumb for screaming her head off when he was calm in the face of her wrath.

And besides, this was not a conversation to be had while driving.

Silently, he drove on and stopped at the first emergency bay he came across. He punched in his hazard lights and took off his seatbelt for a second time, before turning to look at her.

“So what do you want?” he said, looking her straight in the eye. “Tell me what you want.”

Kagome’s gaze was steady, but she breathed in. Her hands shook as she took off her own seatbelt to mirror him; she was nervous.

“Do you want this to end?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I was just… Someone asked, and I thought—”

“Asked what? Who asked?”

“Yura, from Marketing. She said she was interested. She asked me if we were dating.”

Yura? Who’s that? He deemed it insignificant and barreled on. “And what did you say?”

“What do you mean what did I say? I said we weren’t dating, and that you were single. What else would I say?”

“So you’re okay with me dating her? Is that what this is about?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She gingerly rubbed the underside of her eye, careful to not smudge her makeup. “Do you?”

“I’m not interested in Yura,” he said flatly.

Kagome groaned. “That’s the problem, Inuyasha. You’re not interested in anyone. It’s been over a year! This has to end at some point.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? Didn’t you just hear what I said? You’re not interested in anyone!”

“Jesus Christ, Kagome. I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’ve been having sex with you steadily over the past year because I’m interested in you.”

She blinked, then gaped, then stared back at him, horrified. “What?”

He glared at her. “No need to look so disgusted.”

She fixed her face. “Sorry, I didn’t—I mean—What?”

“I’ve been asking you out on a proper date for the past year,” he said exasperatedly. “You were there. You shot me down every time.”

“I thought you were kidding!” Kagome cried, frantic. “You don’t do emotionally available—or anything emotional, for that matter. That’s not you! You don’t ask people out! I had to ask you, the first time!”

“Yeah, well,” he mumbled, “It’s different when it comes to you, apparently.”

"I mean, Sango said you had a communication problem—"

His ears twitched. "Don't listen to her—"

“—but I could disagree, but you’re sure as hell not patient. I’ve been turning you down for a year and you didn’t get the slightest bit pissed off?”

“Like I said,” he continued, looking every bit as perturbed as she was. “It’s different when it comes to you.”

Her cheeks burned. “Wh—Wh—” She struggled with her words, before deciding to simply stare at him, jaw unhinged.

Inuyasha reached over to gingerly close her mouth, before taking her chin in his hand and brushing the corner of her mouth with his thumb. Her lipstick smudged in the slightest. “Look, you’re right. I don’t do feelings. That’s not me, that’s never gonna be me. I'm bad at talking about them, too, because I didn't see the point. It’s why all my past relationships went down in flames; I never made the effort to try, because I didn’t think it was worth it, or that it mattered.

“But I—I don’t know. I’m just not interested in anyone except you. I haven’t been interested in trying on making anything work, except when it comes to you.”

“Because of the sex?” she asked, so innocently that it made him want to laugh.

“Maybe. I don’t know. The sex is good. But spending time with you isn’t so bad.”

"'So bad'?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not bad. At all."

“Because of the sex,” she repeated flatly.

“Look, I’m not going to dissect whatever the hell I’m feeling, okay?” he snapped. “All I know is that I like you, I like having sex with you, I like spending time with you, and I’m not interested in anything with anyone else. I’m not going to further elaborate because that means talking about my feelings and I’m not gonna do that.”

“That’s fair,” she said thoughtfully. “I mean, I won’t ask that from you. I know you and that’s not who you are.”

See, this was why he liked Kagome. She wasn’t the type to demand stuff of him, unlike all his former girlfriends, who demanded flowers and birthday celebrations and grand, romantic gestures—which, ultimately, led to the demise of all those relationships. Because, as they said in one way or another, he didn’t give enough.

But he was a giver. Ask Kagome, even. He was so giving. But these women wanted things that he didn’t give, didn’t want to give. Never planned on giving, because he either didn’t see the point or just didn’t find them worth giving. With Kagome, it was different. What he was was what he was and that was fine. No pressure, no expectations.

Maybe it had to take a friends with benefits situation to realize it, but regardless, it worked; they were happy, there was no pressure, and he really, truly appreciated that. “Thank you,” he said, and meant it.

Her pondering continued. “But…”

He raised an eyebrow. “But what?”

“You’re going to have to ask me out properly.”

He violently rescinded his earlier thought about her not being the type to ask stuff of him. Inuyasha stared at her, unamused. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Look, if we’re gonna date,” she said shortly, “I expect the whole nine yards. Dinner. Maybe a movie. A romantic walk somewhere, preferably by the beach. A kiss when you bring me home. That kind of stuff.”

“There’s a pattern with you,” he mumbled under his breath. Louder, he said, “Fine. Anything else?”

“Yeah. No sex on the first date.”

“What?!” His jaw dropped. “Kagome, we’ve been having sex for over a year! I think we’re past that point by now!”

“Rules are rules! No sex on a first date!” she insisted.

“Rules are—” Inuyasha dragged his face down in one sweep. Was this even worth it? “You know what? Fine. Fine. Jesus fucking Christ. But what else? And are you sure?”

“What do you mean, 'am I sure'?”

"I know you're siding with Sango about me having a communication issue? You really wanna get into a relationship with me?"

The corners of Kagome's mouth turned down in a frown. "Hey, I never said I agreed with her. You never had a problem telling me what you wanted, or what you expected."

Looking back at it, he really didn't. Maybe because they stepped into the arrangement with no expectations, that he didn't feel like he needed to hide or think about anything.

"Why are you asking?"

His cheeks flared up with heat. "Um. Nothing."

"Seriously? Just tell me."

"I'd really—"

"Inuyasha," she said sternly. Inuyasha took in her expression and decided that no, she was not being stern, she was being stubborn, which was worse.

“Fine." He cleared his throat. "I... I don’t know, I just—I want this to work out. I’m not gonna be the reason why another one of my relationships fail because I’m—as Sango said—emotionally constipated. So I’m going to… try.”

Her face went from shocked to incredulous then straight up teary-eyed. “Inuyasha,” she whimpered. “You want to try for me?”

Oh, good fucking God. “This is why I’m not a feelings person.”

“No, no, no,” Kagome said, pressing a hand to her chest and sniffling. “That was just really sweet. I didn’t think you had it in you."

His eyebrow twitched. “You’re baiting me and I won’t fall for it.”

“I won’t be too hard on you,” she placated, leaning forward. The hand that was on her chest went to pat his knee, then moved to cup his cheek. “And for the record, I don't think you're emotionally constipated. You're just bad with feelings. and you're too shy to talk about them.”

"Okay, enough,” he declared, ignoring the giggle Kagome let out just as he closed the distance to press a deep, wanting kiss to her lips, her soft lips parting under his careful attentions. When he pulled away, something made him ask, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah,” she said, a little breathy. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He kissed her lightly. “Are you free tomorrow for dinner?”

She laughed in a way that made his heart swell. “Yes, of course.”

He pulled away and resituated himself in the driver’s seat, driving out of the bay as soon as Kagome had strapped back in. His hand made its way back to the inside of her thigh and they drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

“To make things clear, tomorrow is the only day I’m going to hold off on sex with you,” he said with finality when he pulled up into his one-car garage. “Got that? All bets are off for date number two.”

“I figured,” Kagome said with amusement. Inuyasha hopped out of the car and met her on the other side, helping her out. “And tonight?”

“Like I said,” he said, smirking. He slammed the door to his car behind her and pressed her against it, his lips starting to work on her neck. He relished the sound she made when he wrapped his arms around her thighs and hoisted her up to carry her into his house. “I’m impatient.”

#inuyasha x kagome #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fic #i don't remember the tags #💞.writing #inukag #inukag fanfic #inukag fluff

[carnivorousyandeere]

i want erik (the prof) so badly even though hes so mean. i love the idea of this super meticulous man being in love with a dumpster fire. please keep up the good work and mayhaps if you can may i request some erik showing a fraction of affection to his darling?

Dumpster fire you say? How convenient, I have lots of personal experience in being one of those 😂

Aaa seriously though, thank you for the ask @seroft !!! This one is so sweet and was fun to write🥹💕

CW: illness, nonsexual nudity, local emotionally constipated man is trying his best

Erik is… concerned, when he wakes up to the sound of his alarm and doesn’t hear you grumbling next to him at the noise. Usually, you wake up from the sound, or from him getting up, and try to cling onto him to get him to stay just a little longer.

He feels like he should be relieved that you’re letting him get up on time for once, but he can’t help checking in on you, pulling the covers down to look at your face. Your hand twitches on the pillow next your face. Your expression… you seem a little ashen, a little sweaty, mouth fixed in a frown. Erik frowns too, brushing his hand over your forehead. Damn, you’re burning up.

You squint and try to squirm away from the cold feeling as he pulls the blankets off entirely, waking you up. He shushes you gently, helping you to sit up and rest with your back against some pillows. He leaves the room to grab some medicine and water for your fever. He holds your chin gently when he comes back, helping you take the pills without spilling the water.

Once he’s satisfied that you’ve had at least a little bit to drink, Erik takes a minute to send an email to all his students that class is canceled for the day. He puts the phone down, and moves to the bathroom to draw a bath for you.

You hiss and scrunch your face up like you’re gonna cry when he helps you into the water. The water is warm to his touch, but freezing to yours.

“Sorry,” he whispers, grabbing some soap to help you wash. His touch is gentle as he helps you stand and lather up, and then sit and rinse.

The water temperature, and the medicine beginning to kick in, help lower your body temperature enough for you to regain a bit of your lucidity and strength. The tightness in Erik’s chest loosens as he sees the clarity returning to your eyes.

He helps you out of the bath, dries you off, and brings you some of his clothes to wear. A t-shirt and sweatpants, nothing too heavy that might make your fever worse. You walk to the living room together, and curl up on the couch while he looks around the kitchen for something you can eat without too much trouble.

You turn the t.v. on and pick one of your comfort shows. You and Erik stay in silence as he brings you food, and sits down next to you. You sit up and lean against his shoulder, food warm in your lap. He grabs his laptop and opens it up.

Your attention stays on your show, though, until you hear him ask softly, “What flavor?”

He’s ordering groceries online… vitamin-c boosting medicine, juice, popsicles. You blink, a little surprised, taking a minute to decide what kind of popsicles to get. The two of you sit in silence as he finishes ordering and you eat what you can.

You start to get sleepy soon after eating, and he lays down with you again. If you try to tell him he’ll get sick too from being so close for so long, he’ll just huff and hold you tighter.

Erik’s conflicted, when he has to get up to bring the groceries inside and tip the delivery person; the way you cling to his arm and plead blearily for him to stay is tooth-rottingly cute, but it probably means the medicine is wearing off and you’ll need the next dose soon…

#seroft #mail 📬 #oc erik #my thoughts #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere x you #yandere cw

[runawaymun]

Hi so I just binged your fics and adore them, I love “kids get sane adults and overcome trauma and feel safe” fics

And I was wondering if it was inspired by any other fics you could recommend? Especially Tolkien

aaa I'm so glad you like them! thank you!

The adoptive family trope is a trope that is incredibly near and dear to my heart and weirdly underexplored in the LOTR fandom tbqh. You'd think there would be more of it. I get this question a lot and unfortunately I must repeat that my toxic trait is that I am incredibly picky when it comes to the fics I read, and that And the Stars Shine the Same was actually started in a blind rage after scouring the internet for anything like it, and finding that most of them over-simplified the healing process or grossly mischaracterized Elrond OR turned out to be romantic in the end (but like not in a good way). So unfortunately I have very few fics I can recommend.

In terms of well-written fic that you might like if you like my work, as always, I recommend pretty much anything @jaz-the-bard has written when it comes to Elrond & kidnap fam adjacent material (and just...good fic...in general...hngg). @potatoobsessed999 (potatoesanddreams on AO3) has some really lovely genfic, and I literally cannot recommend @idrilsscribe's Under Strange Stars series enough. The Ever-Fixed Star series is an incredible set of Elrond-adjacent (but mostly Feanorian-centric) fics by @eirianerisdar that deal with themes of forgiveness, family, redemption, and healing and they remain just about some of my favorite fics of all time <3 I also will continue to endlessly rec @thatfeanorian's All the Ways to Love which is not gen, but does include just really excellent Russingon slowburn trauma recovery re: Feanor is The Worst Dad Ever and Maedhros' self-esteem is a dumpster fire, and Fingon is Best Boy (of course!).

For other fandoms I recently blitzed through I've Been Holding Back Tears (While You're Throwing Back Beers) by im_your_mom_now which is just unabashed Peter Parker AU whump with Tony being a very worried and concerned adult (trying to be a worried and concerned adoptive dad but of course it's Tony and he's emotionally constipated so he's not going to outright admit that he feels like Peter is his son which is just CHEFS KISS) It's actually incredibly well written -- like I don't normally go for Marvel anything but I just couldn't resist. It hit all my sweet spots for me and I really am a softie for Dad!Tony with Peter. <3 It's incredibly anti aunt-May though, fair warning.

Yeah that's mostly what I have for you! If any of my followers wants to chime in -- as always drop your recs on this post for anon :)

#out of uniform #fic recs

[sarrie]

hey guess what uno reverse now it's YOUR turn to do the DMC gang for the blorbo meme

YESSSSS! >:) This is also going under a cut because I imagine it's going to be both long and unhinged.

Dante: The Man, The Myth, The Deep Dish

I don't think I could ever be normal about this man. It's been since 2007. That's sixteen years of loving this dumpster fire of a man. I could fix him. He could fix me. Some secret third thing. Do I project on to him because we both had trauma in our childhoods that life didn't give us time to process, so we trudge ahead, pretending we're fine and using jokes and humor to convince everyone else there's nothing wrong? yEAH SO WHAT. Does this also mean I just want to scoop him up and hold him while he cries and mourns the loss of his parents and his brother and acknowledges his fear of his place in the world around him? ALSO YEAH. Also he's so pretty like what the fuck. I thought DMC4 was top tier, but then 5 happened and something in my thirty year old hormones came online and I'm fucking feral for him LOOK AT HIM I want to use him as a chew toy. I want him to use ME as a chew toy. Also we agreed on fandom being wrong because y'all yeah maybe a young 16, 17, 18 year old Dante met someone pretty at a diner or after sneaking into a bar and maybe he was a flirt and chasing folks trying to project some macho persona he was too scared to actually feel. But then there's a demon attack and that pretty thing is dead in an alleyway and Dante has to face the fact that he's one of the few people who could have saved them and he failed. And maybe from then on out it's easier to leave the shop messy because what's the point. Who cares anymore. And if that just works as an excuse to never "go back to his place," so be it.

Vergil: Studied The Blade (tm)

I put I can fix them but I could also make him worse or he could make ME worse. I was never the biggest Vergil fan initially when I picked up DMC3, but as I got older and processed through the games/lore (and read one too many fanfic lol whoops) I really came around to loving him. He's pretty. He's stupid. He's impulsive and makes Every bad decision, despite trying to pretend that he's In Control. I want him to fuck up more. I want him to get a break. I want him to comb through hell and destroy every demon that ever hurt him. I want him to have a nice brunch with Nero and Kyrie. I think in person he would drive me insane. He's so fucking emotionally constipated and like yeah, bro, I don't blame you but can we calm down on the power this and power that and maybe have a power nap??? He has so much actual fucking torturous trauma and I just want him to work it out with Dante so he can feel like he has someone on his side for once!! I'm on your side baby boy let's get you some therapy hey wait no put down the sword don't do anything drasti-- V: "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." Me: reduced to sounds only dogs can hear.

If you had told me I would have loved this sandal-wearing loser as much as I do, I wouldn't have believed you. His voice. His stupid theater kid scrawny napkin boyfriend ass quoting Blake and making innuendo. Be still my heart I guess I DUNNO MAN. V is SUCH a cool character. I love that we took Vergil, who is all demon-side this, demon-side that, and got to play as his atrophied humanity trying to scramble and fix the problem he created. And don't get me started on the separation scene. It was so cool, and sad, to see the absolute fear -- something Vergil would have attempted to school into indifference rather than openly express. I also love that, for the most part, V doesn't feel weak. Frail, maybe, but despite being this pale and crumbling representation of humanity he is still able to fight and kill demons and protect others. There's still a place for him (and humanity, by proxy i guess) in this world. Nero: The protagonist we got, the son we deserved.

I FEEL SO BAD I HAVE SO LITTLE SPACES. Nero!! MY SON!! I was definitely not super sure how I was going to like him since my experience with DMC up until 4 was me pining over Dante 24/7. But then this punk idiot shows up to church wearing headphones and being bored out of his mind and I'm like, oh mood. Same. And he's fun. He's angsty and snarky and like an awkward duckling and then DMC5 happens and he has friends and has joined the DMC business and has carved out a place for himself! And I NEED HIM to have the chance to beat the shit out of Vergil, and then be able to have an actual relationship with his dad and uncle lmao. Also I didn't do a bingo card for these bc spoons but; Kyrie - I'm love her and I need more Kyrie Content. Nico is so fucking cool I will gladly run around picking up demon arms for her whatever you want bestie. Trish and Lady I love so fucking much and they're dating and I will literally not hear anything else.

[ralith]

Back home from seeing ROTB. It was a solid summer flick. A fun watch. IMO it was more entertaining than the Bumblebee film, and incorporated some aspects of the bay films. Overall I'd give it a 6/10.

Now for HEAVY spoilers. I'll hide them under the cut so avoid if you haven't seen the film yet. My thoughts are a little disorganized, but whatever.

I will be making comparisons to bayverse, but I still love those dumpster fire films so...

It was very refreshing to see the bots take the majority of screentime. Their relationship though did not seem like one of friendship. We know in the bayverse that Optimus and his Autobots have known each other for a long time. They're friends.

This crew of bots feel more like coworkers? They fight together but it didn't feel like a cohesive relationship. Prime probably had the most connection to Bumblebee which we see come through when Bee dies. He's angry and throws things and blames himself. However, I think this is where bayverse Optimus actually excels emotionally. Bay Prime is angry and just fucking done with the Cons and later humans that killed Ratchet. So he lashes out. Caple Prime feels emotionally constipated at times, angry and sad and makes threats, but a chunk of his role after Bee's death feels like a pity party. And Primal is the one that has to snap him out of it.

The beginning of the movie felt slow. Probably the first 20 minutes I wanted it to speed up. Really missing that Transit fight.

I think the introduction to the bots was very weak compared to past films. No special scoring or cinematic entrance. They're just kinda there. Very boring.

Also, wow Mirage is fucking annoying. His dialogue was nothing but haha funny quips that were quite boring. He spoke waaay too much, more than any character and my god he needed to shut the fuck up. It was nice to see the bots have screen time and speak, but he spoke more than any bot.

Didn't think I would ever miss Bee, but he was enjoyable in this film, for the chunk he was alive. Mirage actually irritated me so much I missed Bee. Wtf?!

As for the humans, I really liked Elena and Noah. Of course it feels like they're gonna hook up in future films, but it wasn't all that forced which was nice.

As for the supporting bots, Arcee and Stratosphere were fine. Wheeljack was just, uh, there. He really did fuck all in the movie.

Scourge was...yeah he was the villain. Nothing special or spectacular. His dialogue was quite weak at times and trite. Typical evil villain dialogue. Nightbird was fine and played the aerial attacker.

But Battletrap my beloved! His fighting style was very unique, switching between gattling gun and creative ways of using his wrecking ball as a claw or grapple. I love him! But also Primal bashing his fucking skull in with the wrecking ball put a smile on my face.

But that brings up another point. The violence in the film. There were plenty of battles and blaster fire. But everytime a character died (with the exception of Bee) it was done off screen or shrouded in an explosion. We never saw graphic character deaths. I don't know if it was in an effort to limit how much they had to animate, or they were playing it safe with younger audiences. But in this way I dearly miss bayverse's in your face violence. The bay bots got fucked up and you know it.

Like Battletrap got his skull caved off screen and the moment Bee kills Nightbird they fucking cut to an explosion and her parts falling from the sky.

When Primal killed Airazor, I didn't know how he killed her. Did he rip out her spark, break her neck? I didn't see it because she just kinda...fell down.

Though Optimus pulling a bayverse and ripping Scourge's head straight off was beautiful. He also shoved his unprotected face straight into lava and I wanted him to make a give me your face joke so bad, but we never got it.

Now...the CGI. From the beginning I was nervous about how this film would look. When the CGI worked, it worked, but you could tell this was not up to the caliber of the bay films or even Bumblebee. When it was bad...hoo boy was it bad. Stratosphere felt like a late addition because he didn't feel finished. He did not blend in to any scene. Especially in plane mode.

And Noah wearing the Mirage power armor? Holy fucking shit it looked like piss. Absolutely the worst CGI in the film. I was taken out of the final battle immediately because it looked so horrible.

Music. It was mid. The hip-hop was fine. Not my taste of music, but it was fitting. The score however was just okay. Nothing spectacular imo. It was a movie score.

But when Arrival to Earth and No Sacrifice, No Victory started playing...my heart ached. I felt excited for the first time in that whole final battle. Ugggh it was so good to hear again.

The final battle was okay. It was a battle. Didn't feel like the stakes were very high.

I remember Primal saying the transwarp key contained this incredible amount of energy, like the blast of destroying it would be immense, but when Optimus broke it? He got thrown several feet. What? Anyone else get bayverse Matrix of Leadership vibes from the transwarp key design?

The ending didn't do anything for me. Optimus did his speech. Noah did a speech. And I think the movie should have ended there. The ending we got should have been a mid-credits scene because it feels like it changed the whole vibe of what we just saw. It was almost whiplash.

I know they're trying to make some Hasbro Cinamtic Universe by integrating GI Joe. But idc about GI Joe. Never have. So that ending had no effect on me aside from making for an awkward change of tone.

Also, I found it funny that they said Energon was natural on Earth and found in ample amounts. This was something we got very little evidence of in bayverse, mainly from the books. But it was nice to see, even if it was only used as plot convenience to revive Bee and nothing more.

[robinsnest2111]

on a scale of 1 to 10, how fucked up is it that I see A Lot of my own struggles with emotional connections and being vulnerable with others and hurting those around me with my learned and honestly maladaptive (re)actions without meaning to, only realising what I've done after it has happened and feeling even worse and inept 100% reflected in the emotionally constipated dumpster fire that is Izzy Hands in a lot of fanfics?

#yeah uhhh i've been reading a bunch of sprizzy fanfics and uhhhhh izzy is eerily relatable oops??????

[viterbofangirllovestheuntamed]

Hey, everybody! I found my favorite picture of Jiang Cheng!

Isn’t he handsome?!

#jiang cheng #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #chen qing ling #just for fun #it's just not the untamed jc fandom unless we're giving him a hard time #I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR #EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED DUMPSTER FIRE #SMAD PURPLE LIGHTNING MAN #Incredibly The Biggest Disaster In A Cast Which Also Contains Wei Wuxian

[greenheartart]

ASDFGHJKL!!!

WHAT THE HECK!!!

THEY'RE!!!

SO HANDSOME!!!

MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!!

I don't even know much about these two yet, but you're already making me fall in love with them!

Now I'm more eager than ever to learn more about these two fine young men~

💜 💀 💜 💀 💜

AHSDFK hahaha! Thank you! ♥

Story is coming soon!  I have the first half off to my beta readers (I’m gonna have to split it into two parts cuz it got Too Long), so I’ll be posting it as soon as I get the OK from them!  

I will tell you for free, though, that the story takes place roughly 3 or 4 years prior to when this portrait would have been a thing.  Back when the collar was still on the other neck, so to speak ;)

#asks #x-miss-monstersexual-x #snerks at the Fine Young Men #Sable would no doubt preen #but no no no #bastards #fine young bastards #mean little buggers #emotionally constipated dumpster fire children #i ♥ them so #the poor traumatized things #but meeean bastards

[knightofthesevenfandoms]

More Ineffable Bureaucracy bullshit

#good omens #beelzebub #ineffable bureaucracy #gabriel #asshole Beelzebub #emotionally constipated demon #himbo Archangel #a match made in #Hell? #Heaven? #nah #a match made in a dumpster that is actively on fire

[imyoursavinggrace]

✨ Irondad Masterlist 🕷

My AO3 dashboard

…

General Irondad/spiderson works:

Parent - Teacher Day

Peter forgets about Parent-teacher day and Mays out of town. Good job Mr Starks always there to give a helping hand.

Evacuate the Dance Floor

Peter tests his metabolism and gets drunk at a party. Tony’s less than impressed.

The Tale of One Kitty

Peter rescues a cat from a tree to find she has no hope and their apartment doesn’t allow pets. So, Mr Stark - do you, uh, have any pets?

Happy Hibernation Day

Tony and Pepper return to the tower to find Peter asleep on the couch. Only he won’t wake up.

5 Times Tony Dealt With a Loopy Peter

… and one time they were both loopy. (feat. bug spray, head injuries and lots more fun)

…

Baby!Peter:

You’ve Got Mail

When a suspicious parcel arrives at the tower, the last thing Happy expected was to find a baby inside. And not just any baby - Tony Stark’s son.

The Trials and Tribulations of Spider-Babysitting

Steve, Clint, and Natasha babysit an 11-month-old Peter who suddenly disappears. Cue an impromptu game of hide and seek. Oh, and Tony’s home early.

…

Peter Whump:

Stop, Look, Listen.

Peter saves Morgan from getting hit by a car, leaving him struggling to survive.

The More You Say, The Less I Know

Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia, but remembers everyone except Peter. Lots of hurt ensues.

This Feels Like The End

A fire takes Mays life, leaving Tony Stark to put back together a very broken Peter.

Should have stuck to chicken nuggets

Peter has an allergic reaction at his birthday meal. Tony, understandably, panics.

Good Things Fall Apart

Tony gets a call threatening his child, his mind going immediately to Morgan, but when he finds her safe at school, his mistake strikes him like a punch to the gut.

Dumpster Diving

Tony wakes up from snapping to find Peter missing.

The ‘Happy Hunch’

Happy and Peter are in a car accident whilst Tony’s on a business trip.

Even If You Can’t Hear My Voice (I’ll Be Right Beside You)

Peter gets deafened whilst kidnapped with Tony, who turns into an overprotective dad.

In Sickness and in Health

Peter’s gets a dangerously high temperature which leads to both Starks taking a cold bath.

Cross Your Heart and Hope To Die

Tony gets brainwashed and attacks Peter (based on *that* scene from Divergent)

Take Me Home

Peter gets kidnapped whilst having a night in with May. Tony is Far From Okay.

Did We Come Close To Having It All (in progress)

Peter gives himself up to the people that kidnapped Pepper in exchange her freedom, only for her to beg them to stay with him.

Peter Angst:

You Look Like Yourself But You’re Somebody Else

Tony unintentionally ignores Peter after coming back from the blip, making the kid so unhappy he has to take drastic action.

It’s Fun To Lose and Pretend

Harley acts like an asshole to Peter with Tony none the wiser, until one night he takes it too far.

You’re My (Spider-)Baby

Peter discovers Tony’s his biological father and panics, thinking Tony would hate him if he found out.

What About Us

Peter struggles to come to terms with Pepper pushing Peter aside when his dad almost dies after snapping on the battlefield.

What Would You Do?

Peter gets a job at a strip club to pay for May’s cancer treatment. Things go downhill from there.

Not So Sweet Sixteen

Tony and Pepper forget their sons birthday, too absorbed in their unborn child. Peter pretends he’s okay.

Irreplaceable

Tony discovers he has a son and begins ignoring Peter whilst he spends time getting to know Harley. Naturally, Peter spirals.

Oxygen and Gravity (in progress)

Sentinels and Guides AU / soulmates AU where Tony is emotionally constipated and Peter pays the price.

…

The world seen through Morgan’s eyes:

My Big Brother Saved the World

Tony is afraid of introducing Morgan to her brother whilst he’s in hospital after snapping. Morgan’s having none of it.

How To Handle A Concussion

Morgan watches her father worry over Peter after getting hurt on patrol. Little does she know it’s his first injury since coming back from the blip.

Post NWH:

The World Kept You Like a Secret, But I Kept You Like an Oath

Tony’s heart stops when Doctor Strange casts the spell to make the world forget Peter Parker. When he comes to, no one remembers his spider-baby.

Hold Onto It All My Son

Tony wakes up one day feeling like he’s missing something. He couldn’t understand why he’d risk everything to bring back Spider-Man from the blip without even knowing his identity. That needed to change.

One Last Time (in progress)

Peter and Wanda dream walk into a universe where May and Tony are alive and Wanda has her boys.

#fanfic #iron man #mcu #spiderman #ao3fic #irondad and spiderson #marvel #tony stark #peter parker #irondad #iron dad and spider son #masterlist #story masterlist #ao3feed #morgan stark

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA fusion (Bakusquad/Todoroki)

TodoBaku

i pity endeavor

somehow angrier than bakugou? like it’s less of a tsundere, shouty way and more of a punk rock 100% ready to throw down at the slightest provocation

has less tolerance for spice but will eat it anyway

spicy noodles

a lot blunter with his actual thoughts

so much fire, i’m imagining because of Baku's chemical secretion they could possibly make some kind of plasma, though i doubt that makes scientific sense.

also shoots steam out of one their hands

spiky red and white hair, not split down the middle but streaky. a bit like natsuo only more integrated

red eyes, no heterochromia, but keeps the scar

handsome, but constantly looks a bit constipated

really self-critical

incredibly good at mocking people. easily makes people cry with his insults because they’ll attack the thing about you that you don’t like

surprisingly unaggressive towards midoriya. like bakugou’s rivalry/aggression toward him is somehow dampened by todoroki’s love of mido

also tolerant of specifically mina, uraraka, and kirishima. everyone else push their buttons to the point of pissing them off.

i’d like to see them fight dabi because it feels like they’d have similar vibes, except todobaku is less theater kid.

would absolutely wear a leather jacket

despite their angry punk energy, they still pretty anal about self care and schedules. like they’re straight edge nerds about everything but fighting

KiriTodo

chaotic

like they aren’t a bad person but they are a dumbass and the shit that they get up to is spectacularly wild

completely red hair, silky texture. either slicks it back or spikes it into a mohawk. depends on the day

still scarred, red and blue eyes.

shark teeth but in a softer shaped face

usually shirtless, especially when it’s inappropriate

will eat literally anything

incredibly insecure but honest about it

clingy to his friends in an almost desperate way. like his friends will always be their for him but even then he’s struggling to feel secure about it

slow burn anger, but is the most terrifying person to see angry. you do not want to see him get genuinely pissed

an incredibly kind person

fantastic with animals

another elemental quirk user

i have the mental image of a rock golem running at the enemy while on fire and covered in ice. again, avoid pissing him off

pauses a lot while talking and uses a lot of filler words like ‘like, um, and uh”. almost like a valley girl

deceptively smart and emotionally mature. like they have their moments of being profound, of getting where others are coming from, of doing something totally genius

but is also a dumbass the vast majority of the time. like you’d be shocked at how stupid he can be

can’t fucking read

affectionate towards Bakugou and Midoriya. thinks they’re all best friends. isn’t entirely wrong. loves Mina as well

cuddly as hell, but is not comfortable to cuddle with. he’s too hard and he’s never the right temperature

TodoMina

chaotic part 2

a weird combo, probably not very stable

candy cane colored curls, with a pink transition color in their hair. still has horns.

it’s hard to tell that they’re scarred with pink skin. heterochromic eyes, one blue, the other yellow with black sclara

has a creepy laugh

fully into being an alien and is attempting to convince people it’s true, not in a joking way.

more plasma options in terms of quirks. i don’t know how freezing or heating acid effects it, but the effect can probably be used for something

will do basically anything they put their mind to, no matter how absurd. once they make a decision they’re going to do it hell or high water

shift back and forth between being incredibly hyper and on the ball, and being exhausted and antisocial. 

overly invested in gossip and discovering the truth. nosy as hell

impossible to predict

probably into yoga?

manic pixie dream girl? definitely quirky

has a mean sense of humor, and is sometimes just mean in general. generally has good intentions but won’t hesitate to cut people down when they feel they ‘deserve it’

candy addiction

TodaKami

very stable

very funny and chill

stoner vibes regardless of if they do drugs

zones out constantly

black lightning in the white half, red lightning in yellow half of hair. fine and silky as hell

green eyes, no scar. probably needs glasses but doesn’t have them yet

weather powers. can make storms, clouds, effect temperature. can be effected by their own weather and injures themselves often

but is an op fighter anyway

both a memer and conspiracy theorist but in an entertaining way. could have a buzzfeed unsolved style show if they find the right skeptic. i feel like iida would be a cute partner for that. obviously todokami is the unhinged one

will eat literal garbage. i could see them eating from a dumpster because the pizza looked okay

rude mouth, says what he’s thinking regardless of how hurtful it is. isn’t intentionally trying to be mean.

obsessed with dragons

constantly tired. they sleep and sleep but it is never enough

pretty cuddly and quiet when zoned out

a fantastic hugger

baby

Todosero

weird but in an inexplicably normal way

like they’re not getting bullied for it, they’re not subverting society or being overly chaotic. they’re just kinda... odd.

possibly a fae in disguise?

fixed looking smile

scarred. small black eyes. hair is split to be red and white. but the roots are black

obviously still has tape elbows. quirk is probably some kinda fire and ice whip. makes a lot of icicles as well. has many creative applications, especially because they’re both range attacks

executive dysfunction anyone?

loves manga, particularly weird artsy kind, or horror and mysteries

will chill in high places for hours. probably makes a full spiderweb or cocoon or hammock.

just likes getting away from people

wears Hawaiian shirts casually. on the tame side

loves the beach

loves noodles more than life itself. has a mission to try every type of noodle

probably gets stuck places and gets lost easily

makes people uncomfortable. kind of person who just stands silently and stares at you. will wait until you notice him to speak. so sometimes he’ll just be standing silently behind you for five minute and than you’ll finally turn around and have a heart attack,

will otherwise jut kinda stand at the periphery of groups and stare blankly. like that vine of the guy disassociating at a party

never quite jives with the conversations, timing always seems off. they’re just really awkward

pretty fun loving given the opportunity. hanging out with friends is their favorite activity

vibes fairly well with ojiro and hagakure

TodoJirou

cool

makes ice puns, which is lame but gay/lesbian solidarity part 2

white and purple hair in a bob. no scar. has the earphone jacks. purple and silver eyes. petite

deserves to wear sunglasses at all times. probably doesn’t but they deserve to

incredibly chill

actually pretty lazy given the opportunity

still plays the bass and is quite passionate about it

husky singing voice. it’s good but unique, most suited towards indie stuff, not belting Broadway.

plays with earjacks constantly

in love with momo

powers aren’t particularly enhanced by each other. have to get pretty creative to make it effective. don’t mind that much, they aren’t trying to be number one, they’re just herre to help

probably always in a leather jacket

generally pretty sweet, especially towards close friends. it’s a quiet kindness. more shown by putting extra food on your plate when you’re not eating enough, instead of demanding you eat more verbally

sardonic

stable

easily annoyed, especially by injustice. if something is unfair they’ll get mad

generally incredibly mellow, one of the less feral fusion overall

(masterlist)

#fusion au #bnha #mha #bakusquad #todobaku #todomina #todokiri #todosero #todojirou #serenawitchwriter

[narukoibito]

Hinny.. 😌😌😌😌😌

Harry/Ginny are my OTP to end all OTPs! I read fanfiction for them. I write fanfiction for them. They kept me sane throughout the dumpster fires of 2020 and 2021 thus far. 

I always, always hoped (like Ginny) they would get together and then they did. Ginny having to grow up and get over her crush on the BWL. His freakin kindness towards her from the start. Ginny makes him laugh! Harry is emotionally constipated and doesn’t understand feelings so describes them as a chest monster! Harry being stupid and thinking Ron would kill him when he’s the OG Hinny shipper. Several sunlit days. Harry being immune to gossip for once. Particularly happy hours by the lake. They make each other happy! Ginny understood him. It’s probably why she likes him so much! Ginny going off and fighting her own battles without him. Harry’s last thought was of Ginny kissing him. aaaaaaaHhHHHHHH! The things these two do to me!

#ask me about a ship #emeraldx06 #Hinny #otp of otps

[illusionsofdreaming]

what kind of characters are your type?

To answer this question I had to look into the deepest, darkest depths of myself. And it was an absolute dumpster fire in there. 

Course, I could’ve just taken the easy way out and list out several characters I like but why do that when I can try to psych myself out by analysing why?

So without further ado...

my favorite character types:

Let’s get the simplest one out of the way first which is: Character visual design

This only applies to characters which usually have some sort of canon visual design (eg. anime, manga, webcomics, games. For now characters from books will be excluded.) 

I’ve picked a few good boys as examples but as you can see, I seem to have a preference for two types of designs: wavy hair and redheads. 

Wavy hair group:

is that bedhair or natural curls? sometimes look like they’ve never showered in 80982638 years but still hot. only works in anime. rain only makes their hair look better. 80% chance they smoke. usually darker hair. 200% tired. probably looks kind of dead inside. also can look evil/assumed evil but actually baby. wow they already look good but when they pull their hair back-ASDLAKSJDLKJ. I want to run my fingers through their hair. btw those curls can’t be replicated in rl. short, medium, long lengths, all of them please.

Redheads:

red.

With that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff. Character personalities.

Did I just make a shitty meme for this? Yes. Yes I did.

Obviously that’s not the real selling point of these babies. 

It’s also not everyone but I specifically chose these few as an example because they are also part of a group I’d like to call “boys with unassuming/disagreeable reputation but psych! they’re actually super smart” group.

Please, let me elaborate.

These characters usually have two sides. The public face and the ‘real’ self. Now, a lot of characters have two faces but the characters I end up liking are those who’s ‘public face’ is perceived negatively or extremely ‘harmless’ that they’re often underestimated/looked down upon. 

Their fronts are actually a defense mechanism - a repellant if you would - to discourage others from investigating too close and hide their vulnerability. Because most of these babies have been through so much.

Virion’s flamboyant, braggart, flirtatious front masks the fact he still feels so much about the fact he’s been forced out of his country, watched his people die and continue to suffer their wrath for what they perceived as his ‘cowardice’ when he was just as much of a victim as anyone else. 

Cale who insists he is trash because theres injustice in this world and if he’s trash he might as well break all the rules and mould the world as he sees fit. If only to create a world where people can live without regrets then he’d be the trashy one and point out the flaws in the system and correct it himself. Trash don’t follow rules anyways. 

Kenshin who clings to an easy-going, happy-go-lucky, very non threatening persona as he tries to live day by day, atoning for the sins of his manslayer past which haunts his every step.

Claude is known as the schemer. A person who’s nonchalant attitude makes reading his intentions hard. Untrustworthy. A person who’s willing to use any and all kinds of underhanded tricks to win. Because that’s how he had to survive back home, when he had to fight his brothers to survive. He learned to keep a facade because the wolves are vicious and unforgiving once they smell blood. Despite his childhood, he only had one simple wish, grander than others. To open the borders, so that everyone can be treated as an equal. 

Venti literally wore the face of his dead friend for over 2,000 years, need I say more?

I would go on and explain more but I think you get the gist of it. Perhaps what separates them from others is the fact they don’t care to change what others think, almost welcoming bad rep because it helps one way or another to be unnoticed and underestimated.

Because guess what. All of them are incredibly smart/skilled. It’s sexy. Despite their skillsets, they would choose to withhold from abusing them and accept abuse society throws at them instead. Well not entirely, they do have a line, it’s just more tolerant than others but boy, if it is crossed... 

Perhaps it’s because I’m a writer, these characters just naturally attract me because their duality has so much potential I can angst about. 

Anyways, that seems to be majority type of characters I go for. There’s also a small group of emotionally constipated characters such as Saizo from Fire Emblem Fates and Gilbert Nightray from Pandora’s Heart. These characters who are fluent in communicating in grunts and glares, have the emotional range of a brick, gets offended if they’re given affection - otherwise colloquially known as the tsunderes.

random outliers:

Tartaglia is... I don’t know. He just grew on me like a stinking weed. He’s a bit on the crazy side but I think I smell something of story - I don’t know much, I feel like I want to know more but whoops. I like him now.

Niles who’s whole personality revolves around being as vulgar and repelling as possible. An angry cat, albeit a justified angry cat. He has so much anger and expresses it so painfully. that I just. can’t. I feel for him.

#chatter #character types #asking a simp why they simp #like wow #i could write an essay for each character i like about why i like them #but it would break my heart #can you see how much fun i had writing this #let me show you my babies #fire emblem #rurouni kenshin #genshin impact #tcf #everyone should try this #a deeper analysis into why you like certain character types #i swear it's very enlightening #please tag me if you do #i want to read

[agentfreckles]

Ah yes a love triangle with not just one but TWO emotionally stunted people who experience their romantically related emotions super intensely and are really bad at trying to hide their emotions.

Sounds like my kinda train wreck.

Oh I’m totally with you there. If I could have any other LT in the game, it would 10000% be an M&A one because that angst would be intense.

And like who do you even root for in that situation? Both of them had a snowball’s chance in hell of falling for the detective in the first place so the fact that it happened for both of them with the same person is just the most insane thing. You have one person who has forgotten how to feel and another who never knew they could feel suddenly having the most intense feelings of their lives. And bro if you think N is bad at realizing A’s obvious feelings, M would be even worse. Also like how clear are these romantic feelings on M’s side anyway? What’s to stop a teensy tiny part of A from thinking that M’s intentions aren’t pure and therefore maybe A is the one who is more deserving and then immediately feeling guilty af for even entertaining such an idea? And then when M does become aware of A’s feelings, what’s to stop them from feeling like a complete ass for stumbling into something they had zero desire to be involved with in the past and potentially ruining the one chance at happiness their Commanding Agent has? M doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. A’s a provider, a protector, and yeah they don’t show it much, but they care a hell of a lot more about things than M does. How are they supposed to compete with that? And on the flip side A knows the depth of M’s loyalty to someone when they earn it. They know first hand how the one constant for M is their bond with those close to them. A is wishy washy with their feelings and can’t decide what they want. The detective needs someone like M whose devotion is unwavering once it’s earned. How can A compete with that? AND THEN what the hell are A and M supposed to do when both of them feel so intensely tethered to the detective that the thought of losing them is comparable to ripping out a piece of their soul? And it’s not like they can talk about it because A is too busy denying these feelings even exist and M can barely process their emotions well enough to explain them to themself let alone someone experiencing the exact same thing.

And poor N and F are over here about to tear their hair out because no one is talking anything out and everyone’s just trapped in this dumpster fire of emotional constipation.

#this straight up sounds like the worst time imaginable #but damn if I wouldn’t love to read it #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #special agent mason #special agent morgan #ask freckles

[howtodisassembleyourdeviant]

💖 - K from Blade Runner/android Connor (Them being part of the same universe isn't that far out there)

(I've only seen the movie once, so bear with me)

A Less Spicy Shipping Meme

Send a 💖 and I’ll tell you what a relationship would be like with my character:

How likely they are to enter a relationship with them:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they…

Make the first move? Yes | No

Say “I love you” first? Yes | No

Cheat on them? Yes | No

Be the jealous type? Yes | No (GTFO Joi!)

Plan the dates? Yes | No

Initiate the first kiss? Yes | No

Remember anniversaries? Yes | No

BOLD WHAT APPLIES:

Their (potential) Relationship Is:

friends to lovers | rivals to lovers | enemies to lovers | still just enemies | mutual pining | star crossed lovers | old married couple | perpetual honeymoon phase | stable and boring | stable but not boring | secret lovers | best friends hiding their feelings | and they were roommates | friends with benefits | coworkers avoiding HR | one-sided affection | weird sexual tension | it’s complicated | toxic relationship | a secret affair | an actual dumpster fire | other

PUBLIC Displays of Affection:

hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips | cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection

PRIVATE Displays of Affection:

hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips | cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection

Do they stay together?

yes, this is endgame | yes but someone is gonna die tragically | something is keeping them apart | they part ways as friends | they part ways as enemies | they’re on-again-off-again | they have a super messy breakup | it was just a fling | other

BONUS

What terrible pet names would they give each other?

They're both pretty emotionally constipated, so they probably don't have terrible nick names for each other.

#Who Are You People? :: Anon Asks #A-Muse Meme #(I vote that their ship name be CoK) #long post tw

[willowfey]

Hi Hana!! I've never seen spn, and the only thing I know is through your posts, and you seem passionate about it, so: would you maybe like to talk about the love story you've been denied? What is their relationship like? And what would you liked to happen?

ok this took me a While to respond to, bc i got Really Into answering but then got distracted before i could finish and my brain lost the thought folder in a closet somewhere BUT... i found it. and BOY do i have thoughts... i hope u know what u got urself into by asking this lol 

(spn fans, pls ignore what a fucking MESS this is, i know it’s all out of order, i’m not here to be accurate i’m here to be unhinged thank u very much)

(also follow my spn blog @himbodean)

(major spoilers under the cut for anyone thinking of watching, obviously)

let me preface this by saying that i first started watching this show when i was 14, i am now 22, and it’s still one of the most insane incredible stories i’ve ever experienced IF IF IF u ignore the fact that it’s a crappy tv show with bad writers. because it IS, of course it is, every fan knows it’s a dumpster fire, that’s not the POINT. the point is the story that came from that fire. the point is the story built from accidents, fate, actors doing whatever they want, fans seeing something special and fighting for it, the POINT is that free will and love triumph over god and writers and we’ll get into that meta momentarily but this is just a preface SO.... (also i would like to add that i stopped watching the show consistently somewhere in season 9, everything i know beyond that is from Perceiving posts and youtube compilations, so this will be very messy, but anyway)

let’s start with dean winchester, shall we? a boy taught from the age of four years old that his only worth comes from being Useful. take care of sam, hunt, do your father’s bidding, become a weapon. john winchester is a shitty father and person and i will not stand for defense of him, and i don’t care what his motives were for putting so much burden on dean but dean.... followed every order. internalized every failure. and did EVERYTHING to protect sammy and prove himself, in that order. 

classic fucked up Eldest Daughter Trauma brothermomdad comic relief emotionally constipated man. did i mention he’s bi and adapted a faux Macho Man exterior to compensate largely due to prior mentioned fuckass garbage father? well now i have. 

if you’ve been on tumblr for a while, a place where we just LOVE to analyze stories (and frankly my favourite part about it), i don’t need to explain every nuance for you to understand That Character Type. he would sacrifice himself in a second if it meant a moment’s happiness for someone he loves. for a long time, the only someone there is is sam.  

okay, now sam. youngest sibling disease. does not understand or appreciate at first everything that’s been done for him, takes things for granted, so gloriously unburdened because of dean’s shelter that he’s able to put all his focus into Becoming Normal. because he does not need to prove himself in the same way dean does. because dean always made sure he knew he was loved, useful or not. (samgirls don’t come for me i adore him but he’s an asshole baby, dean allowed him the privilege to be). he’s a very Smart asshole baby, academically, he’s studying to be a lawyer and he’s on track to have the Normal Life dean always wanted for him.

but, but, but

dad’s on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days. 

so this is where the story starts, kinda. stories are everlasting and theirs started eons ago when the canonical god and angels shaped humanity but shhhh this part of the story starts now. with the with the Head and the Heart setting across lonely america to finish an unfinishable job of ridding the world of evil. 

i won’t give you a synopsis of everything that happens, though with the way my brain is moving right now i Could. they save people, hunt things, the family business and all.... john dies, his weight on dean’s shoulders remains, found family is found, etc etc....

then sam dies. 

you asked me to talk about the love story i was denied, but to do that you need to know the love story we were given. because it’s not just dean’s love for cas, or even just dean’s love for sam, but dean’s LOVE. period. love, the driving force of every story ever but especially this one. 

sam dies. the only thing dean is living for, the only person on earth he truly loves enough to do anything for (w*ncest shippers dni we stan Brotherly love and that’s it). sam dies and dean has Failed at his only job, really, the only one he hadn’t failed until now. 

so, naturally, he makes a deal with a demon. (this is important i promise.) he makes a deal with a demon and sells his soul in order to bring his brother back. 

and it works. and they continue their lives together. sam has matured some and despite having youngest sibling disease he also has youngest sibling RIGHTS, and he can see just how much dean cares about him, and he thinks the absolute WORLD of his big brother. always has, really. dean will never see just how much sam looks up to him.

but dean’s time is running out... the deal has been made and soon, it’s time to pay his dues. he ends up in hell. 

now, something you need to know, that we the viewers did not find out for another handful of years real-time. god is real, right. god is a guy who goes by the name chuck. yes, he has a human body, he writes books about their lives and they have a very meta in-show fandom where high schoolers turn them into a musical and people write fanfiction about them it’s a MESS, but you need to know this because the meta of god=writers is so important and i’m on a ROLE here.

anyway, god is real. his name is chuck. he’s a huge asshole. he represents the writers, like actually.  angels are real too. 

now, my favourite introduction probably; castiel. angel of thursday. baby sibling of the angels. autistic coded (at first you’re like Oh, he’s like that because he’s an angel of course. then you meet his brother gabriel or really any other angel and you’re like okay, that’s not just an angel thing that’s a Castiel Thing and i love it and i love him).

just like dean, all castiel knows is to Follow Orders. and usually that is all he does. years later, chuckgod will tell us that in Every Single Other Universe, castiel saves dean from hell (he’s needed for the apocolypse, see, he and his brother are meant to be vessels for michael and lucifer), he saves dean and then he lets him go and he Follows His Orders. 

but this universe is different. 

in this universe, castiel lays a hand on dean in hell and he’s Lost (according to another angel, Found according to himself). the words dean winchester is saved ring so loudly throughout heaven that every angel can hear it. he grips him tight, raises him from perdition, leaves a hand print on his arm. a mark. a claim. leaves a piece of his Grace, of Himself in dean, and we don’t know it yet but dean leaves a piece of himself in castiel too. 

so, dean is back. he stabs castiel (but he’s okay bc he’s like an Angel Of The Lord in the body of a blue eyed hunk and you’d need an Angel Blade to hurt him, obviously, pfff). castiel tilts his head questioningly, as he often does, and says, more of a statement than a question, “you don’t think you deserved to be saved.” and dean doesn’t have an answer.

fast forward through some plot. dean, the corrupt failure of a weapon damned to hell because of Love, is chosen to be the vessel of michael. not lucifer. dean, the man who didn’t think he deserved to be saved, saved by an angel who was so Changed the moment they touched that now he’s on earth, with them, and he’s not following his orders, and the whole timeline is fucked, and godchuck is angry.

oh well. dean teaches him about burgers and led zeppelin and inside jokes and flannel shirts and porn (yeah... the pizza man doesn’t truly love the babysitter, that’s not the point of it, man). he teaches him about food and home and love and humanity and free will. that’s what they are, the three of them. Team Free Will. because watching humans for eons and falling in love with one, sitting beside one in a ‘67 impala listening to cassettes and watching him eat in a dingy low-lit diner are different things. loving humanity and Falling In Love with a human are different things. 

“For the first time, I feel...” he tells his sister Anna, another angel. (she was written to be dean’s endgame love interest, did you know? castiel was meant to be killed off. but everyone adored him immediately and anna was killed off instead, so where does that leave him?)

“It gets worse,” she says.

“I’m considering disobedience.” 

“Good.”

he’s no longer Castiel-Of-God. he’s just Cas. never again does dean call him by his full name. he becomes Cas-Of-Dean instead. 

so they’re in love and like the post that lives in my mind rent free said, they spend years thinking please say it without me having to ask, they have a profound bond, they dance around each other and sacrifice themselves for each other and dean prays to him when he’s gone, every night, cas rebelled he was hunted and he did all of it for dean, and everyone i mean EVERYONE knows.

“You’re confusing me with the other angel; you know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.”

“His true weakness is revealed... he’s in love. with humanity.”

“The stench of that impala’s all over your overcoat, angel.”

“Go ask him, he was your boyfriend first.”

“I thought you two were attached at the... well, everything.”

“It was all about saving one human, right? One man.”

if i tried to list out every time someone implied their love, every time they shared a Look or a charged Moment, i’d literally be here for a year and i’d be writing out the plot of 12 years worth of episodes. so. just know that the subtext is hardly very sub. 

they go to purgatory. dean abandons any other thought to find him, to bring him home with him, and cas spends an equal amount of energy trying to keep monsters away from him. in the end, cas pushes him through the portal back home, and he stays behind because it’s what he feels he deserves. dean rewrites the memory into him not being able to pull cas though in time, not holding on tight enough, another failure. 

they stop the apocolypse more than once. they die a few times and are brought back. plotplotplot they’re in love and everyone knows it, at one point cas dies and dean keeps his coat, folded in the back of his car. dean says don’t ever change. cas says i’ll watch over you. at one point cas is brainwashed and forced to kill a thousand copies of dean, but when it comes down to it, when dean is on his knees bloody and utters the words “I need you,” no amount of brainwashing can stop cas from dropping the knife and cradling dean’s face to heal him. 

cas plays god. the angels fall. now they’re both failures. dean says i guess i’m not the man either of our fathers wanted me to be. cas dies and says i love you, i love all of you. they’re pulled apart by a million different things a million different ways over the years but they come back to each other, they trust each other again, at the end of it all this is all they have. this is all that matters. what dean told him years ago still stands to be true; fate, destiny, god. none of it means anything. people, families, that’s what matters. that’s what’s real. you asked what about all of this is real, cas says to him later. we are. we are.  

fast forward some more. remember that i Have Not watched the last 6 seasons, i just know everything that happened. so things i’m sure are out of order, but it doesn’t matter, the story is everlasting, what matters is that they happen at all. 

they raise a teenage girl because her dad was cas’ vessel (long story). they also raise the antichrist. yes, literally. jack, essentially a three year old in the body of a 20smth or whatever. he calls them both dad. dean teaches him how to love and be human, and cas teaches him how to love and be human too, because dean taught him first. sam is still here, yes, i haven’t forgotten about him. they’re a little family. even when everyone else around them dies, they have each other.

cas dies again, of course. dean wraps and burns his body alone. now he’s brothermomdadwidow. the righteous man. the vessel of michael. lifting the fabric one last time, to look at the face of the angelhuman he loves. 

he comes back, of course. they always do. at least, until now they have, but then they never know when their last death will be.

at some point, they’re in purgatory again. i don’t remember if it’s before or after cas dies and comes back. but dean prays to him. says he should’ve never let him go (because sometimes he pushes him away, it happens and cas goes, not knowing dean doesn’t mean it. i went and you didn’t stop me, cas says. please say it without me having to ask). he says he gets so angry and he doesn’t know why, it’s just always been there. anyone paying attention to the story knows why. when he finds cas, dean starts to tell him what he was going to say, and cas cuts him off, says I heard you, but he didn’t hear all of it. he still hasn’t heard all of it.

(I’ve just realised i’ve gone on for over 2k words now but my gc is telling me to keep going now that i’m this deep, so. we will prattle on and u will know better than to ask me about my hyperfixations next time lest i write an actual novel when i should be sleeping sfgksjhf)

so, where were we? right. dean loves cas and sam and jack and claire and charlie and his whole found family and cas loves them all because dean taught him how to love from the moment he touched him in hell. they’ve all been good and evil. they live in a bunker now instead of a car. they fight godchuck on multiple occasions. he says “you’re not in this story,” and cas looks at dean when he says “we’re making it up as we go.” he also says castiel was ordered to watch over dean, and to date it is the only task he has not failed to carry out. i lose my mind every time i remember this detail.

remember how i said god=writers? remember how i said cas was going to be killed off? it’s meta. oh god, there’s so much meta. this story was not meant to exist, see. but it was always meant to exist. the last words mary winchester ever said to her oldest son, was a promise that angels were watching over him. she didn’t know that an angel would watch dean sleep all the time, that an angel would change the course of the world to protect him. the writers didn’t know, god didn’t know, but it happened. it happened because cas loved dean, because we loved cas, because misha collins and jensen ackles saw these characters in this story and we all came together and said Actually, We Decide, and Actually, Love Is The Most Important, and Actually, What Is A God To A Human In Love? 

they are Team Free Will, because we were first. the viewers. the storyseers who dared them to give god a face and let us have a word with him. it was not written to be a love story, but it was, because everything is, because stories take on a life of their own and no god or writer can change that. 

we’re almost finished, but not quite. i’m sorry if u didn’t want such a massive summary of everything but that is what u get on my blog. cas makes a deal with The Empty, which is sort of like hell but worse, because hell is fire and torture and pain and The Empty is nothing at all. blackness. aloneness. the opposite of love is not hate but apathy. he makes a deal with The Empty to save his son, their son, the antichrist they taught to be good, because dean taught him how to love, and to love is to sacrifice yourself for another. 

the deal is this: cas will go on living his life, for now. but in his moment of true happiness, it will come for him, and he will go willingly. 

now, the scene that prompted this supernatural renaissance. the scene that brought you to my ask box today. if i were you, i would go watch the scene for the full effect, because every word of it is like a gut punch but i will summarize for you now the best i can...

cas never knew what his true happiness could be, because the one thing he wants, he knows he can never have (he can, please just say it without me having to ask). but now he realizes. the happiness doesn’t come from having, it’s just in the being. just in saying it. just in loving. because he loves dean. he loves the whole world because of dean. he tells him this. knowing the empty will come for him, he tells him, because dean deserves to know. he is not how his enemies see him, how he’s seen himself his whole life. he is not a weapon, he is not anger or violence, he is love. everything he’s ever done, every decision he’s ever made. from the moment cas touched him in hell he was changed. and he loves him, and he loves him, and this is a goodbye. when he pushes dean away from him, he leaves a bloody handprint on his shoulder. 

and then he’s gone. and dean lost him again. and he sinks to the floor and sobs. 

what happens next, you ask? they kill god. well, actually, they show him mercy and turn him human. godchuck calls him quite the killing machine, and dean tells him “that’s not what i am.” because he heard cas, and cas loves him, and so he will be the man that cas loves.(and of course he loves him too, of COURSE he does, and he didn’t say it. cas never hears all of it.)

so they kill god in a way, the way we killed the writers, because they don’t decide who we are. and jack becomes god. jack, their son, who they raised and loved.

and just... do you see? do you see how dean’s love shaped the world?

he loved sam and it landed him in hell, he loved cas and it changed the course of the world, he loved jack and now jack is god, and the entire world will feel the benefits of what dean taught them. the entire world will feel his love. 

but why? how did he become this, if john didn’t love him? if mary died so soon? how did he become love without anyone putting it into him?

but then.... there was sam. trusting him, needing him, sam who gave him a protective amulet as a child to keep him safe, to bring him home. there was cas who listened to him, who saved him and changed for him and fought for him. there was jo and ellen and bobby and charlie and all these people along the way who Saw him for who he truly was. from the moment dean picked up baby sam from his crib and ran him out of a burning building, that little spark of love stayed in him and reflected in every person he met, until it grew and grew and

and now, jack is god. 

for me, this is where i stop working with the writers. this is where i ignore everything they’ve done with the ending instead of interpreting it, because they either didn’t know what they had or they did, and i’m not sure which is worse. 

so, what would i like to have happened? 

dean saves cas. pulls him out of the empty the way cas pulled him out of hell. pulls him out of darkness right back into the light. the righteous damned man who decides his own fate. i don’t care how or what trials they’d need to go through first, but bonus points if they end up back in the barn where they first met on earth. if i were writing this show, which i am right now, dean would leave a handprint on him too. and then dean would tell him everything he needs to tell him, and cas would finally hear all of it. there would be a forehead touch, a long lingering one, and also a good fucking kiss because god knows they deserve it. (they know they deserve it, which is far more important).  sam would get eileen back and actually give a shit about it (i know i didn’t talk about her at all, but she was sam’s deaf love interest and she deserved so much better than to be forgotten the way she was). 

cas would willingly give up his grace to become fully human. his grace would go into a large old oak tree, with beautiful full leaves, and they would build a house right by it with their own hands. a proper house, with bay windows and exposed beams and colourful painted steps. there would be a bedroom for jack when he comes home, which he does, even though he’s god too, because heaven is so lonely compared to a warm kitchen.  dean and cas would open a bar for hunters, a cozy place for advice and friends and a break. sam and eileen would get married. no one would move away from each other because people who love each other should stay together and that’s the only ending i will ever accept.  dean and cas have very loving sex on the reg but that’s another conversation. 

they’re happy. they’re together. they’re allowed to live the full lives that they’ve fought so hard for. because in a story where everyone dies, and hell exists, and they kill god sort of, the only radical conclusion is that they survive. 

i would like for the last scene to zoom out from the window of the living room, where they’re all together and laughing and eating, and i’d like to see the leaves changing and the old impala getting washed and the fence being painted, and a family through the window that slowly grows, and Miracle the dog running around some toddlers....

and i’d like the last shot to be focused on the tree made from cas’ grace, with their names carved into the wood like the old table in the bunker and the back of he impala. All of their initials now, on something very much alive.

bumbum.... bumbum..... BUM (screen goes black)

carry on my wayward can play now, and we all can cry out of happiness and shock that writers actually fulfilled their story and character arcs, and everyone gets exactly what they deserve. perhaps a marvel-esque end credit scene where humanchuck is like, idk on a public bus or smth. 

it’s 3am..... i’m gonna sleep now and literally not edit this at all, so pls excuse the multitude of mistakes i’m certain there are shahgfksab. pls follow my spn blog @himbodean too i would appreciate that. hope u enjoyed my hyperfixation story brain explosion, thank u for the ask and opportunity to ramble x 

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #destiel coda #kinda????? i will elaborate on my little epilogue blip probably #turn it into a little fic #THIS IS ALMOST FUCKING 4K WORDS OH MY GOD #im sorry and also ur welcome???? sdgkjasgkd #answered #hanawrites #Anonymous