#Ed Sheeran Smut

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

don't give up on me.

Regulus Black x F!Reader

Summary: You're sick. Regulus knows that. But how can he convince you that you're worth saving?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF EDS, WEIGHT LOSS, THROWING UP, FAINTING, HOSPITAL WING VISITS, ANY AND ALL ED-RELATED WARNINGS

AN: If this kind of content is triggering for you, PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING!!! nothing is more important to me than y'all keeping yourselves healthy - both mentally and physically! If this shit helps you then, here ya go :) (P.S. the summary is really bad sorry!!)

You ran back to the dorms, promising Pandora that you'd be back before breakfast. Lie.

Every day was pretty much the same: you weighed yourself on the muggle scale that you'd snuck into your bags behind your dad's back, and then based on that number, you'd eat. Or you wouldn't. It was easy to miss mealtimes - you'd make the excuse of needing to finish some homework or having forgotten something in the dorms. If you went to the hall during mealtimes, you'd put a little food on your plate and push it around to make it seem like you'd eaten loads when you hadn't touched anything at all.

If the number on the scale weren't acceptable to some extreme standard you'd set yourself to, then you'd spiral - only small amounts of food, you'd go on a run before dinner (strategically showing up late enough that there wouldn't be much left), calling yourself the worst names in the mirror.

It was a routine that you hated - you wanted to kick it, but you couldn't. It was a safety net. You needed control, and this was the only way to have it. It was your drug and you were dependent on it.

It had started as a need to look better, more like your sister. She was taller, skinnier, better at everything she did. You wanted that. So you started skipping meals, spending more time doing workouts - you'd bought one of those muggle aerobics DVDs, and you'd follow it almost every day. You lost a few kilograms in the first few weeks of summer, and the pride of achieving your goal outweighed the hunger pains and headaches. Your weight became an obsession to you and you weighed yourself after every meal and in the morning and night, and your diet to become healthier quickly became a desire to be smaller.

It didn't help that you remained invisible to everyone except your few Hogwarts friends. They owled you frequently, begging you to come up to London so you could spend time together, but you lived too far away for that to be possible. Your dad was busy all the time - it wasn't easy for him after the divorce - and your sister was busy with all her friends. They didn't like you very much, finding you odd as you went to school so far away. They left you alone for the most part - you only saw them when your sister agreed to drive you somewhere.

Not eating became natural after a while: the hunger pains stopped being painful, the headaches disappeared, and the desire to eat had all but disappeared. No one really noticed - you were pretty good at hiding your tricks - but your quickly shrinking body was noticeable. Your dad brought it up once, worried about how your clothes looked so big on your body: he offered to drive you to the doctors, wondering if being a wizard meant that you were more prone to getting sick. You shook your head, telling him that you were fine, but you made a mental reminder to buy much baggier clothes to hide the weight loss.

After that, you quickly went from loving your new body to despising it. You hid every inch of your skin even in the height of summer - hiding under baggy clothes, blankets, and behind pillows. You shoved your mirror to the back of your wardrobe.

By the time you went back to Hogwarts in September, your robes were far too big for you. You'd altered them sneakily: you kept the robes you had but they rested on your body better.

You'd avoided hugs from your friends, lying about an injured arm, but you'd happily reunited with them on the Hogwarts express. They all commented on how they were loving your new look - you smiled sadly at the reason. You remember getting off the train onto the platform - Regulus had helped you down from the train, gripping your hand tightly as you stepped off. As your friends dragged you away, you'd looked back at him. He'd looked almost concerned.

You came back to the Great Hall halfway through breakfast. You sat down with your friend, adjusting your collar where it was rubbing against your neck. You felt uncomfortable, almost like there was an emptiness in the back of your mind.

Pandora caught your eyes mouthing, are you ok? You nodded in response. You grabbed a glass of water and some fruit. Your throat was so dry and every single movement made you nauseous. It's fine, you told yourself, you can run it off before Charms. You're fine.

You were lying to yourself. You weren't okay, you had a problem and you knew it. But you couldn't pluck up the courage to go to Madam Pomfrey and get help. This was comfortable. You never wanted to go back to the way it was before - constantly hating your body for the way it looked in clothing, jealous of what others looked like. You'd take a few bad days like this over that.

You yawned. You were exhausted but your sleep wasn't restful or comfortable. Some parts of your body would always be sore when you woke up.

You felt someone move to sit next to you, and before you could turn to see who it was, they grabbed the apple out of your hand. You turned to protest, before seeing Regulus' pointed look and the knife in his hand. He began to cut up small slices and feed them to you, not giving you time to protest until the apple was finished and entirely consumed.

"Get a room lovebirds, someone from down the table called, but Regulus was quick to shoot them the finger. You smiled at that and Regulus let out a breath at the sight of it.

"It's nice to see you smile, canari. You don't seem to do it as much anymore," He said lowly, making sure his voice was only for you.

You pat his shoulder to reassure him, trying to hide your panicked mind behind gentle touches. He smiled at you before standing up to leave. He offered you a hand, which you gratefully took, and you both headed towards Defense Against the Dark Arts - your first lesson of the day.

That night, you had been planning on skipping dinner. You had convinced Pandora and Barty that you had an essay for Professor McGonagall that you hadn't even started, and they had believed you. They left you in the common room, promising to bring back one of your favourites - a Pumpkin Pasty. All was well.

You slipped out of your dorm room and down the stairs to the front door, heading out for a quick run.

"Where do you think you're going?" A voice cut through the cool air. You shut your eyes. Busted.

Regulus walked up to you, raising his eyebrows and waiting for an answer. "Tell me, Reggie, does growing up rich make you so entitled or are you just naturally a pompous ass?"

He laughed, throwing his head back, and grabbing your hand, "I'm going to let it go because you haven't eaten anything and you're probably hangry." He dragged you down to the Great Hall, even as you dragged your feet.

He pulled you in and sat you down by his side, piling your plate high with all the foods he knew were your favourite. If your anxiety wasn't spiraling, you would be touched that Regulus knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't.

People were sat all around the table, making small talk and eating. You took deep breaths as nonchalantly as you could, cutting up the food Regulus had piled on your plate. You didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem - you’d have a few days of no one noticing you skipping meals, then you could comfortably eat dinner with no worries. You could prepare for that. But, after breakfast this morning was sprung on you, you didn’t think you should be eating this soon. I mean you had only just run off the apple you had for breakfast. How were you going to keep your weight down if you were gorging yourself on the most unhealthy food every minute of every day.

You tried to join in with the conversation every so often, pushing things around on your plate as you did so. You thought you were hiding it well, but you caught Regulus glancing at you in concern, every time you finished speaking.

Catching onto this habit, you worriedly stood up, grabbing your things and getting ready to go.

“Leaving again so early?” Barty asked, grabbing your wrist. He looked at the wrist almost concerned but you tugged your hand away. You looked around the table before your eyes landed on Regulus, concern filling his face.

You swallowed nervously, “Yeah, I'm going to head up to bed. Goodnight,” You stepped over the bench and left through one of the back doors. Regulus watched you leave. Something didn’t sit right with him.

As soon as you rounded the corner, you picked up the pace almost breaking into a jog. You made it down the stairs to the Slytherin common room, heart pounding in your chest and nearly threw yourself up the stairs to your dorm. You closed the door and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were usually methodical about this process, you had a system. But you were desperate at this point. You tied your hair up messily and filled up a hidden water bottle at the sink before chugging it and turning to the toilet. 

Back in the Great Hall, Regulus decided that he was going to go check on you. He excused himself and bid everyone a good night - just like you had - before heading in the direction of the Slytherin dorm. 

You were bent over the toilet, retching. You hated this so much. It didn’t feel good - it almost hurt - but you felt so relieved doing it. You couldn’t explain it. It was somehow the one thing that helped you feel better.

Regulus quickly made his way up the stairs to face your dorm. The stairs were enchanted to stop the boys from climbing up them, but Regulus was able to jump and skip a few steps to make it to the top. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to you. Not now.

Regulus knocked on your dorm door, to which he was met with silence. You couldn’t hear him. Not liking the feeling in his gut, he slowly pushed the door open. To his surprise, you weren’t there.

From the bathroom, he heard the faint sound of someone retching. Regulus furrowed his brows. You hadn't seemed sick this morning. Why didn’t you say something? You were going to go on a walk, for Merlin's sake! Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bathroom door, pressing his ear to the door. That was definitely you retching. He knocked. You froze.

“Canari? Are you okay in there?” He asked, leaning against the door.

Shit. 

You scrambled to get up, quickly flushing the toilet and washing your hands.

"Canari?"

You splashed your face with water before replying, “I’m fine, Reg.” You cursed yourself for the wavering in your voice.

You turned to the mirror - you were a mess, your tear-streaked face red and splotchy. You washed your face, trying to get rid of as much inflammation as you could. 

You took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. How could you have been so stupid? How were you going to talk yourself out of this?

“Can you open the door, please?” Regulus said. He was half intending to break the door down, but he wouldn't violate you like that.

You sighed and opened the door with your head down. You tried to walk past Regulus, but he gently pulled you towards him, your head resting just over his heart. His finger tilted your face upwards, his eyes widening at your red eyes and face. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” he asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You tried to pry yourself away from him, but he wasn't letting you go so easily.

“You’re not fine if you’re throwing up. What's really going on?”

“It’s nothing. I had a stomach bug over the summer. Sometimes it acts up a little. It's fine. I'm fine.” you affirmed. Your solidness was almost more to convince yourself than him.

One look at Regulus told you he was not convinced. He pulled you back into his chest. "You sure that's all it is? You'll tell me if it gets worse?"

"Yeah, Reg, I'll tell you if it gets worse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"It's okay, Canari. As long as you are okay, it's okay."

You managed to avoid any more confrontations until Christmas. You decided to stay at school over the Christmas holidays, like you usually did, which meant no friends to worry about your ever-growing problem.

You woke up to a dry throat and a pounding headache. The usual. You coaxed your body into slumping out of bed and you brushed your teeth. God, you looked a mess. The dark circles under your eyes were prominent and your face was pale and gaunt. You almost looked like a skeleton.

The sun was pretty high in the sky - it was probably almost afternoon. Shit. How could you have slept half the day away? It's fine you'll just have to stay up later tonight to finish all your essays. You walked out into the dorm to be greeted with 4 other empty beds - everyone else had gone home for the holidays. You figured it was probably safer to stay at school than to go home looking so terrible.

Begrudgingly, you pulled on a pair of jeans and a Slytherin sweater you were almost sure wasn't yours, and slipped down to the common room. You'd left an essay for Professor Binns in front of the fireplace - you had rushed to the bathroom after Barty had practically force-fed you a few. You'd blamed it on the fact you got a dog food-flavoured one (you didn't - it was chocolate brownie, which was almost worse), but the side-long glance Regulus had given you made you retreat into your dorm room for the rest of the night.

Still, you needed to finish that essay and you headed down the steps, pausing halfway down to calm your racing heart. The common room was cold and empty - it usually was in the winter, given that most Slytherin students went home for the break. You shivered violently - the cold that nestled into your bones in early October had refused to leave. Now, without at least a jumper or two under your robes, you were constantly shivering.

You glanced at all the tables - there was no parchment or quills. There was no one still here that would want to steal your essay or your quills, so you were surprised to see all your stuff gone and the common room completely clean. You searched everywhere in case the house elves had moved it while cleaning, but you couldn't find it anywhere.

Tears started brimming in your eyes knowing that those were the only quills you had and there wasn't much chance that you could afford to buy a whole set of new ones and finish your essay before Christmas day.

"Good morning, Canari." You whirled around to see Regulus standing behind you, his obsidian-black suit perfectly ironed and immaculately clean. His hair was perfectly coiffed - as it usually was - and his face clean of the stubble you knew that he was able to grow. Not a hair out of place. Never a hair out of place. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus - perfect without trying. Skinny and pretty and fun to be around. Not always worrying about if you were trying too hard.

A lone tear slipped out of your eye and down your face. Regulus was there in an instant, his hands grasping your face, thumbs wiping away any tears.

"What's wrong, Canari? Why are you crying?" Regulus said, pulling you into his chest. You felt him stiffen against you, his fingers running over your protruding spine. But you nestled into his warmth, the chill in your bones just barely sated by his heat.

You looked up into his eyes, sniffling, "Someone took all my stuff."

"What?"

"I forgot my stuff down here last night - my essay for Binns and all my quills were on the table, but now they're gone," your breathing picked up as you began to panic, "And I can't afford to buy a whole new pack of quills, which means that I won't be able to finish any of my other essays and Professor McGona-"

"Canari. I have your stuff." Regulus interrupted, his arms running up and down your back, "It's okay. I took it to my dorm before I went to bed. Here." Regulus led you to the staircase leading up to his dorm and made you wait as he dashed upstairs and got your things. He handed them to you in a neat pile before leading you back to your dorm with his hand on your lower back. "Put your stuff away and then come down with me. Let's eat breakfast together."

Alarm bells started ringing in your head. Eat? Now? With so much to do? How could you waste your time? But you couldn't make Regulus more suspicious of your behaviour.

You head down to the Great Hall with him, pulling at your sleeves as he placed all manner of pies and treats on your plate. You felt nauseated by the smell alone.

It didn't skip your notice how Regulus looked at you as if you were going to break at any second. Hell, he probably thought you already had.

You turned the corner off the path to head into the Forbidden Forest. If any of the Professors found you out here they'd give you a detention. That coincidentally would mean that you missed dinner. Two birds, one stone.

You set off on your run, keeping to the border of the forbidden forest, but deep enough in that no one would be able to see you without looking. You kept a steady pace - you were used to this routine. If you overate, you'd run until you felt exhausted and then you'd slip back into the dorm and skip dinner.

Except the snow was never normally this heavy and with every breath you exhaled a puff of smoke left your lungs. The inhales were almost painful, the cold air rough on your fragile lungs. You could hear your heart pounding in your head and your ears were starting to ring but you ploughed on.

What a mistake that was. You feel your foot slipping before you can even grab onto something. The next thing you know everything was black.

Regulus was worried. He'd paid close attention to your ever-deteriorating health, and he was worried, to say the least. After you'd run from lunch with him and Barty, he'd followed you back to the dorm. You hadn't even noticed him trailing you as you almost ran back to the common room. You'd slammed your dorm door shut and hadn't left for hours. You'd finally left when you thought no one was in the common room, dressed in some sweatpants and a jumper that was far too thin for this ghastly weather. He'd grabbed his own coat and a spare jacket for you, before following you through the hallways. He'd contemplated calling your name once, but clearly, there was something going on. And Regulus wanted to know what.

You'd slipped out of one of the doors to the courtyard and set off on a light jog down toward Hagrid's hut. That's odd, Regulus thought, you didn't have detention. Of course, it didn't pass his mind that you may just be running. After all, who would willingly go on a run in the middle of December in Scotland. Still, he watched as you ran down the steps that led to the now frost-covered pumpkin patches. Maybe you needed to collect something from him, he thought. Yes, that's probably it. Far more likely than Miss 'golden-girl' having a detention. Professor Kettleburn probably needed something and sent you to go get it.

His confusion only multiplied when you bypassed Hagrid's hut and disappeared into the thicket of the Forbidden Forest. Regulus picked up his pace, making sure that he wasn't caught as he followed your footsteps. He tried to keep up but you were always a faster runner than him, always making it to class on time even if you were both running late. He quickly lost you, having to resort to tracking your footsteps through the deep snow. He was ever more confused as to why you were out here - if anyone caught you here, you'd have a month's worth of evening detentions. Not the best way to start the year.

When he finally caught up to you, his heart dropped to his feet. You were lying face down in the snow, clothing soaked through. He knelt beside you, his hands running over your face as he softly called your name. Your skin was cold to the touch, causing Regulus to panic. He quickly bundled you up in the spare coat he brought with him. He removed the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around yours, before tucking your hands into the pocket of the jacket.

He hoisted you up in his arms, wrapping his arms securely under your body. He slowly started walking back to the castle, being careful to avoid anyone seeing him leave the Forbidden Forest - the last thing he needed was the both of you getting in more trouble. He carried you through the hallways to the hospital wing, rapping his knuckles sharply against the window while you remained unconscious in his arms.

Madam Pomfrey was quick to open the door and, at the sight of your unconscious body, ushered you both inside, helping Regulus to lay you on one of the free beds. She laid a thick blanket over you and dug out a heating potion to dispel the chill from your bones. Regulus just sat by your side and held your hand. It was ice-cold as usual, but somehow Regulus never wanted to let go.

"...Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey asked, but Regulus had missed the question while he was staring at you. He looked up at her questioningly, silently asking her to repeat the question, "I said, will you get some dry clothes for her? I trust that you have something you can give her."

Regulus nodded dumbly, leaving the hospital wing before breaking into a run. He ran upstairs and pulled a sweater and some sweatpants for you. They would be big on you but hopefully, they would keep you from getting too cold. His heart was pounding as he returned to the hospital wing.

He diligently gave the jumper and sweatpants to Madam Pomfrey, before turning around so she could change your clothes modestly. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, he wanted to tell Madam Pomfrey, but somehow he was sure that she wouldn't appreciate that sentiment.

Once she was done and you were nestled under two layers of blankets and in clean clothes, Madam Pomfrey turned back to Regulus.

"Mr. Black, I'm going to have to collect a report from this accident from you, if you would so oblige."

"Uhh, of course, yeah. Um, well," Regulus prided himself on being a good liar, but under so much pressure, not so much. "We found a - uh - salamander on the fifth floor by the library when we were studying there earlier. She said she'd go tell Hagrid so she headed down to his hut. I wanted to find her to finish my essay before dinner so I headed down to see Hagrid, but then I found her lying in the snow."

Madam Pomfrey nodded, "Did Hagrid find out about the Salamander?"

Regulus nodded, "Yeah, one of the third years told him. I heard them talking about it while I was looking for her." It wasn't a total lie. Two third years had found a Salamander by the fifth-floor boys' toilets. They'd told Hagrid, and Regulus had overheard them talking about it.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, sealing away the report and filing it away. Regulus stood up to go back to the common room when Madam Pomfrey stopped him.

"She's incredibly thin, Mr. Black. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Regulus shook his head, "It's worrying how underweight she is. You haven't noticed anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

Regulus shook his head again before turning around to leave the hospital wing. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you could feel was heat. You were warm. After months of being on the edge of freezing all the time, it was nice.

The second thing you noticed was the smell of cologne. A familiar cologne. Regulus' cologne. It was an expensive one - the Black family was rich and they weren't scared to show it off.

You opened your eyes slowly, grateful for the darkness. You looked towards the window to see that it was nighttime. You furrowed your brow in confusion. You could have sworn that it was just past lunch. You pushed yourself up further only to realise that you were in the hospital wing.

Before you could push yourself up even further, a voice interrupted you, "And just where do you think you're going, young lady?" Madam Pomfrey walked up to you with a glass of pumpkin juice in hand and two tablets. "You're dehydrated. And possibly have a concussion. You should be glad Mr. Black found you when he did."

Regulus found me? How the hell did he know where I was?

You took the pills from her hand and swallowed them down quickly. You savoured the taste of the Pumpkin Juice - it had been so long since you'd had the calorie-filled drink.

You turned to the door just in time to see Regulus walk in. It was as if he had exhaled for the first time seeing you awake. His shoulders dropped, his chest relaxed and all the tension in his face melted away.

He sat by your side gently, letting you finish the juice. Madam Pomfrey spoke up again, "Now, young lady, do you want to explain that nasty little fainting spell?" She said, her eyebrows raised as she scrutinised you.

"Uhh, well - I was - uh - walking down to Hagrid's hut, and - uh - my ears started ringing, and I think I fell." You said, your voice hoarse from disuse.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that you are underweight?" Madam Pomfrey pressed.

"I've just been nauseous the last few days." You lied quickly, slightly recoiling under her heavy words, "I think it's stress but it might be a bug. I remember Pandora complaining about her stomach the night before she went home."

Madam Pomfrey seemed convinced. Regulus less so. As soon as Madam Pomfrey left, he turned to you.

"You lied." You shifted nervously under his intense gaze.

"I didn't. I have been nauseous all week."

"If you were nauseous, why were you on a run?"

"I thought the fresh air might help."

"Fresh air in the Forbidden Forest? Bullshit." Your heart dropped. He'd followed you there.

"Why did you follow me?"

"Why were you there alone? If I hadn't followed you and you'd fainted, you would have been dead by the time anyone found you."

"Oh, so I guess that means I should thank you now, should I? Oh, thank His Lordship, Mr. Black for saving my life, even thOUGH NO ONE ASKED HIM TOO!" You exclaimed, seething. You threw his hands off you and tried to push him away but he refused to budge.

"Stop being difficult," Regulus said, pulling the blankets back over your frail body.

"OH I'M BEING DIFF-"

"JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!" He interrupted, his blue eyes blazing with fury. You could just about pick out the lingering concern that was embedded in his gaze. You saw red.

"GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" You pushed Regulus away with every ounce of strength in your body. He fell off the chair, crashing to the ground in an undignified heap.

You watched, in horror at what you'd done, as he walked over to the door. He cast you a longing glance as he left, almost as if he was begging you, pleading you to let him in, to not shut him out. To let him help you.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you could be helped.

On Christmas Eve, Madam Pomfrey let you go back to your own bed, with the promise that you'd visit her every day so she could check up on you. Regulus hadn't visited since you told him to leave, and a small part of you was glad that he hadn't. The rest of you had missed him dearly.

You felt him walk up to you as you lounged on one of the sofas in front of the fire.

"Room for one more?" He asked hesitantly, standing in front of you. You shuffled to the edge of the sofa to give him room to sit down.

"So how are you?" He said, hands toying with his wand as he tried to avoid staring at you.

"We don't have to do this, Reg. Can we just let it go?" You sighed, hoping that you didn't have to get into this conversation right now.

"Yes, we do. Tell me, Canari, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, Reg." You both sat in awkward silence, not exactly knowing how to approach this conversation. "I'm gonna - uh - go. Now. Uh - bye."

You stood up, trying to escape into your dorm room, but Regulus beat you to it - blocking you with his body. It wasn't fair that he was almost a whole head taller than you.

"No, what's going on? Are you sick?" Regulus insisted, hands coming up to brush your arms. You shuddered at the gentle touch, but he still didn't pull away.

“Reg-”

“Canari.” he insisted. "Don't lie to me."

You took a deep breath. "I'm sick," you whispered quietly, but loud enough for Regulus to hear it.

He shifted on his feet, “What do you mean?”

You looked at him, noting the tears building up on his lash line. Regulus never cried. More than once, Barty had joked that the 'snowman didn't have a heart'. You shook your head, "It won’t make sense."

"Then help me understand."

You took a few breaths, trying to get your thoughts in order. Regulus led you back to the couch, his large warm hands covering your cold frail ones. You tried to get your thoughts in order, tried to figure out where to start. Well, it's probably best to start at the beginning. “I don’t know what happened. I was just supposed to lose a little weight. I started eating less, doing some muggle workouts. And it worked. But now - now, now I just can't stop." you finished.

Regulus' face contorted to one of concern. You avoided his gaze, your eyes filled with tears at finally revealing your secret. Regulus pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest. You nestled into them, your head of his heart as sobs started to wrack your body. Regulus held you tightly, whispering that it would be okay. He breathed deeply and steadily, hoping you would fall into rhythm with him. 

Eventually, your heaving breaths slowed, and you began to calm down. After a few moments of silence, Bucky asked “How long has this been going on?”

"Since the summer break. But I think the problem's been going on a lot longer than that." You whispered into his chest, defeated.

Regulus took a deep breath, his mind relaying all the suspicious behaviour he'd picked up on over the past term. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

You shrugged weakly, "It wasn’t your problem."

You jostled in his lap as he turned you to face him. "Canari. Your problems are my problems. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm here? Because I want to be here. For you. I want to help, Canari. Please." You avoided his gaze because you knew what you'd find. Genuine concern. Something you weren't sure if you deserved. "You always help me or anyone else whenever we need it. Remember when Pandora had those nightmares for months and every night you'd hold her hand until she fell asleep? Or when Barty told us that he was afraid of the dark so you gave him an enchanted tea candle that would never go out? Hmm? If we were going through this, wouldn’t you want to help us?"

"Of course, I would," you said firmly, tears building up in your eyes again. You rubbed the way with the corner of your sleeve, but Regulus caught your hand.

"So why can’t you let me help you the same way?" he asked, his eyes shining with sincerity.

You shook your head lightly, "It’s not that simple, Reg."

"Why?"

"Because.”

"Because what?"

"It's just not the same," you said a little louder, pushing yourself off his lap. You had to put a distance between him and yourself, or you knew that you would break. You turned around heading in any direction that was not here, not in front of the only man capable of reducing you to tears.

"I don't get it. What’s the difference between me and you? Why can’t you-"

“Because I don’t HATE you!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him again. The pain in your eyes was evident as you tried to shrink further into yourself. Regulus was up in an instant, cradling your head in his hands as if you were a porcelain doll. You took a shuddering breath, "It’s not the same thing because I don’t hate you. I want to help you all, because you are good people, and I like you."

Tears streamed down your face as the confession spilled from your lips. You told him about everything, the loneliness, the self-loathing, the punishments, everything. Regulus stood there as you sobbed in his arms and confessed to him, taking every beating and tucking it away in the corner of his frozen heart that was reserved for you.

When you had finally settled, Regulus looked at you sadly. His gaze was heavy as if he was trying to see if there were any other secrets you were hiding. "Is that really how you feel about yourself?" he asked, saddened even more when you began nodding. "What did you do that was so wrong?"

You didn’t know. The loneliness that had plagued your childhood had melted into the insecurity that you didn't belong anywhere, and you never would. So slowly, you accepted that you never would. Your voice was weak when you spoke up again, "I'm sick, Reg. I know that. But I don't think this kind of sick can be healed by one of Madam Pomfrey's potions. People catch colds or break bones - those can be fixed. And once it's fixed, it won’t bother them again. But this," you gestured your body repeatedly, "this I don’t know if I fix. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start. It’s me against me. It's a losing game. I’m not the kind of sick that gets better, Reg," you shrugged slightly and shook your head.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you tighter, "There's always a cure."

"Not for me."

"No. You're not giving up. YOU CAN'T FUCKING GIVE UP WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO GET BETTER!" Regulus wasn't one to lose composure ever. In fact, Regulus wasn't one to show much emotion at all, but here he was, crying and yelling over you. Trying to convince you to get better. He tucked his chest into you, whispering, "Please. Please, you can't- you can't leave me here. Not alone, please, Canari."

You rested your face on his head, your cheek pressed against his beautiful curly hair. You stayed like that, you pulled into his lap, his head cocooned into your chest, your head laying on the top of his head. Both of you expended every last tear in your body before he spoke up again.

“Can I try to help?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean you want to get better? Right?" Regulus removed himself from your chest and looked into your eyes. His hands traveled to rest on your face. You nodded. "You can always talk to me about anything," You avoided his gaze, "you know that right?"

At the uncertain look on your face, Regulus stiffened. You quickly spoke up, "It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, but-" You paused thinking how best to word this.

"Yes?"

"It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you," you said, your voice trailing off as you spoke. "I don’t want to fuck up and end up hurting you because I couldn’t be better. I don’t want you to worry every bloody day. You don't deserve that." you took a deep breath and looked away again. "I don’t want you to leave because I couldn’t be strong for you."

"Is that really what you think I would do?" Regulus asked, his tone growing angrier. You cowered under his anger, and Regulus noticed. He tried to level his breathing as he continued, "I would never be disappointed with you, because you're trying your best. You said it: you're sick. And sometimes it takes time to heal. And you're healing for you, so that you can have a happy life. A long life." He paused, considering whether to add this next part, "No matter whether that life has me in it."

You leaned into him again, his arms wrapping you into a tight hug. Your life would always have Regulus in it, no matter how long, short, sick, or healthy it would end up being. Regulus made you promise to go back to Madam Pomfrey in the morning to tell her the whole truth.

"Promise you will be there the whole time?" you asked softly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, and exhaustion washed over you.

His arms tightened around you, "I promise. As long as you promise not to give up. Even when it gets hard."

You smiled your first proper smile in what felt like an age.

"I promise."

fin.

#regulus black smut #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x reader smut #regulus black fic #regulus black fanfiction #regulus smut #harry potter #hp #tw ed but not sheeran #regulus x y/n #harry potter x reader #regulus x reader #fi's baby blurbs #regulus black x fem!reader #regulus black x girlfriend!reader #marauders #marauders era #no y/n

[purpose-thousand-decision-look]

#kingdom hearts #detective conan #runescape #dream house #mature mom #the menu #ed sheeran #glitchcore #chainsaw man #zuko x reader #brian may #[dove cameron] #Lauren Cohan #joel miller smut

[zimmer-zupastar]

Hereeee piggy piggy piggy!!!

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz fanfic #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic #georg listing #gustav schäfer #kaulitz twins #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz smut #georg listing fluff #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz fanfic #fatsp0 #fat slob #fat piggy #gustav schafer fluff #gustav schafer x reader #gustav schafer smut #male ed #ed not ed sheeran #thinspø #⭐️ve #⭐️rving #⭐️vation goals #⭐️ving #i want to ⭐️ve #i need to ⭐️ve #tw ana diary #ana trigger

[levis-nut-dump]

~Iris~

(Description:Pregnant Reader is sick tw: death)

You've been sick for a while. You haven't been to a single scout meeting in the last three weeks. Honestly, you would just lay in bed and ride it out or go to the meetings anyway if Eren wasn't such a worrywort. Because of this, you agreed to go see Hange to find out what's going on.

"Seriously Eren. I'll go alone you just go to the meeting it could be important." you insisted.

"Not more important than you. I can skip it."

You sighed. "The titan shifter with the attack, founder, and armored titan skipping a meeting in the middle of a war? Eren be serious."

Eren looked down. "Do you not want me to go?" he asked sadly.

You froze. "It's not that of course not! I just think it's important that you don't miss out on any meetings. They're just starting to trust you again Eren. If you go missing from a meeting who knows what thoughts they'll get in their head." You were right. The suspicion on Eren is finally starting to lift and people are starting to understand the reasoning behind his actions. He was gaining trust, and you didn't want one doctor's appointment to ruin that. It's bad enough that Hange was insistent about skipping the meeting to see you.

Eren sighed. "You let me know everything Hange says when I get back. Or when you get back. If you're not here when I get back I'm heading over there because it shouldn't take longer-"

"Eren. I'll be ok." you softly laughed. Since five months ago, Eren's grown a lot softer from the serious 'no bullshit' man he was. He was terrifying and showed no remorse. One one-night stand and pregnancy test later, he can't seem to stand the thought of being away from you, worried something will happen to you and your baby.

You've known Eren since you were kids. Just thirteen. Then the war started and he grew cold. You don't know how it happened that night, but you never regretted it. You've always found him rather attractive and now you're both nineteen, pregnant, and living together. When the war is over, the two of you are to be married. So young and your lives are coming together; Which is why it's so important to Eren that you stay safe.

Eren crouched down and kissed your stomach then got back up and kissed your forehead. "Eren I'm hardly showing." you laugh.

"I know, but she's still in there. Growing. Being." Eren smiled softly.

"She? This again?" you giggle.

Eren grinned. "It's a girl. I can feel it. Her name will be Iris."

You laughed. "Alright, you're gonna be late. Go." you softly push Eren out the door.

"I'll come straight home to you two. I promise." he said. You simply nod and wave as Eren walks out the door. He turns around, runs to you, and kisses your lips, softly grabbing your face. "I know this is soon. Everything is happening so fast but, I love you (Y/N). I'm gonna take care of you two. I'm going to be a better man because you deserve better."

You kissed his nose. "Eren. I'm so proud of you. Iris, will be proud." You say the name just to humor him but you know it's a boy and his name will be James.

Eren left for the meeting and you left for your doctor's appointment with Hange. You lay on the bed chatting with Hange as she and Onyonkopon prep you for your ultrasound. The latest technology available to you on Paradis thanks to Eren, but people hardly thank him for that.

"So house living with the titan shifter?"

"He has a name, Onyonkopon." Hange laughed rubbing the jelly on my stomach.

"It's nice living with Eren. I feel safe there." you answered.

"I love that kid since he was, well, a kid, but he's gotten a hard exterior on him now. You feel safe around him?" Hange asked.

"He's really softened up since we found out I was pregnant. He said he loved me this morning."

Hange's eyes went wide. "W-what did you say?"

You blushed. "That I was proud of him..."

Onyonkopon cringed. "As a man, that hurt."

"I love him I do! He's just been so much of a like, evil villain, that it caught me off guard. I'm gonna tell him tonight." you smile to yourself.

Onyonkpon rolls the machine in and Hange gets started. All three of you look at the machine but only two understand what they're looking at. Both Hange and Onyonkopon's faces drop.

You look at them and your face drops too. "W-what is it?" you ask.

After a couple more minutes of Hange moving around the microphone-like thing in silence, she sighed and wiped the jelly off your tummy. Onyonkopon sat you up. "I'll give you two some privacy."

*Hours Later*

You hear the door open and your nerves do flips. You stand up as Eren walks into the living room, taking off his jacket. "I came as soon as it ended like I promised." he said with a smile.

"Yeah." you weakly grin.

"S-so what's the news? Why have you been sick?" he asks noticing your mood was off.

"W-we lost the baby Eren. She's gone." you say.

Eren makes his way to you and holds your face in his hands. He stares at you with what looks like rage, but when he wraps his arms around you and buries his face into your neck you realize it was him trying not to cry. "Are you ok?" he asks you, still buried in your neck.

"No. I feel like a failure as a mother before I even got to meet her."

Eren lifted his head and looked into your eyes. "You are not a failure (Y/N). You created a person and carried it for five months. Maybe it was stress we're in the middle of a war. Malnutrition also because of the war. It's the timing, not you." he reassured you through tears. He paused. "D-did you say her?" he asked.

Shit. You didn't want to tell him Hange told you the gender today. It makes this a whole lot harder for him. "Y-yes. It was a girl Eren." you say sadly.

Eren drops to his knees and sobs. You hold his head as he cries into your thighs. He was so exicited to be a dad. More excited about this baby than you were, and you took it away from him.

You stare blankly into the wall as Eren continues to cry. He grabs your hand. "It's not your fault. I still love you this doesn't change anything. We need each other more than anything right now. I know I've been a monster. I know I've done unforgivable things but I'll still be a better man for you. Just don't go."

"Eren, the baby isn't the only reason I stayed. I love you, and you're right. We need each other more than ever right now. I'm not going anywhere." you reassure him.

Eren gets up and looks into your watery eyes with his before he kisses you long and hard. "Thank you (Y/N)." he said.

"For what?"

"For saving me."

"Iris did, not me."

"No, you did."

#aot #aot x reader #attack on titan #fluff #levi ackerman #levi aot #smut #anime and manga #anime art #jean kirstein #armin x reader #armin smut #armin arlert #armin aot #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren #anime edit #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #a #t #m #c #h #Spotify

[daphnedolphine]

will this get more attention if i call her fem gojo? lol

she’s not actually fem gojo ok i screamed when i realised the colour palette got a bit too gojo (gege kinnie moment)

#digital drawing #original character #gojo satoru #gojo smut #fem gojo #ed not ed sheeran #not gojo either #digital art #flat color #poo poo pee pee #im a lesbian #blond girl #artwork #themisrye #drawing #im just a girl

[kevin6942069]

LORDDD HAVE MERCY, VAMP EDDIE IDEAS.

slight st vol 2 spoilers for eddie

warnings: smut head cannons, eating out on period, blood, and i think thats it

so.. i got some ideas for vampire eddie. im sure some of these have been thought before so if anyone else has made smth abt these please lmk and ill credit, just some 3am daydreaming ;)

-eddie would 100% just sneak up behide you and graze his teeth over your neck

 -if you have a hijab or anything that covers your neck that shouldnt really be   moved away he would just breath on the back of your neck till you notice (bc he   has hot ass breath LMAO)

-if his partner is afab he would ask to eat them out of their period because yk, vampires just love blood and plus its a win-win in his eyes!

-if his partner agrees to it then oh my GOD- he would be such a tease and just graze his teeth over their cunt 

-if his partner is amab then he’ll graze his teeth over their cock while sucking them off, you cant prove me wrong

-i imagine he would have long nails for some reason and he would just tease you by grabbing your sides or playfully tickling you (either sexual or not sexual)

-did i mention he LOVES TEASING YOU? WITH HIS FANGS? DID I MENTION THAT?

-”you scared? i dont bite sweetie. atleast not unless you want me to.”

-”mmm? scared ill bite you?” 

-queue the smug ass shit eating grin every five seconds yall

-brushes his nails over your nipples

-if youre really cold he’ll bring you closer to him and cover you up with his wings :)

-totally begs to bites youre neck or just bite you at all

-please do let him

-if you give in and let him he is so happy, like his eyes glow up and just has the biggest smile ever

i have more hc’s but i just ate a whole tub of ice cream and im lactose intolerant, my stomach is abt to actually fucking explode so ill write more when i feel better LMAO, anyways enjoy ur meal whores <3

#vampire eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie x reader #stranger things eddie munson x reader #vampire eddie x reader #vampire eddie munson x reader #eddie munson kas #kas #st #eddie vampire #eddie vampire x readier #vampeddie x reader #x reader #eddie munson headcannons #eddie munson head cannons #ed sheeran x reader #smut #eddie munson smut #vampire eddie smut #vampire eddie munson smut head cannon #vampire eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader smut vampire #my stomach hurts so damn bad plz help

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine: you are a younger sister to Duchess Satine. You are just as bright as she is, possessing a quick wit and fierce mind. However, you are often overshadowed by Satine’s accomplishments. The two of you were once very close, and in these good days you were her biggest support. However, something happened and you joined the rebels who sought to undermine the Senate. Satine is desperated to get you back, but because she’s the rulling Duchess of Mandalore, she can’t go after you. That is when she asks Obi-Wan for help, aware of how not so long ago the two of you were so close. Yet, the question remains unspoken in the minds of the Mandalorian: whatever happened to the bright young sister to the peaceful duchess Satine?

Warnings 1: the younger sister of Satine is not the one we see in “The Clone Wars”. In fact, let’s pretend she never existed even though this original character is loosely based on her. Also, it’s with this oc Obi-Wan has been infatuated and not Satine.

Warnings 2: this story might find it’s inspiration in Ed Sheeran’s “Bad Habits”.

Warnings 3: this is how I roll, people: smut, violence and drama are the elements that shape my writing. And of course there’ll be fluffiness because I honestly hate how “SW” always makes Obi-Wan unhappy in many ways. Therefore, minors, do not read nor interact.

You have been warned…

***

Intro.

Dark clouds rumble in the skies of Mandalore. In a clear presage of an upcoming thunder storm, every citizen of the great capital looks for solace under their roof. To most superstitious people, this is a sign of bad times ahead.

Satine, in her palace, is perhaps one of those who share this belief. Looking through the window glass, she watches as the light dissipates, eclipsed by darker clouds that announce a thunderstorm. Rain does not take too long to fall, and her eyes stare at the spectacle of the violent drops of cold water throughout the capital.

“What is it your ladyship thinking about?” Her adviser steps closer to her, carefully keeping a safe distance. There is genuine concern in his question, it is only fair she answers him back, though her eyes remain fixed on the storm outside.

“She disappeared, master. No one finds her, not even our best detective.” Her heart breaks, but she has to be strong despite the vulnerability she feels exposed to. “I don’t know what else to do. There is good in her, I know that.”

“Madam, please forgive my bluntness. But your sister deliberately chose the dark path. You have to be in terms with it, that you did all you could and…”

Satine turned at him, eyes filled not with anger but a deep shade of despair.

“She had not! She was forced into it, I know in my heart! And whilst you may be prepared to let her go, my lord, I am not! She’s my only family.” The fangs of guilt are pressed upon her heart. “I know someone who might find her. I know who.”

It takes no more than two days before General Kenobi lands in Mandalore. He may be self composed, wearing a mask of duty, but his Padawan is the only one who could tell he’s been under distress after the news of your rebellion came to his knowledge. Against Obi-Wan’s strong refusal in having him by his side, though, Anakin is seen by his master’s side wishing to be helpful, but there to console his heart.

Satine welcomes the two Jedi as regal as she is. Formalities are often the necessary requirement to deal with ambassadors or other politics who landed in Mandalore. But all smiles fade when the three of them are in private quarters, away from the court.

“I wish I had not involved you in this, Obi-Wan”, Satine tells him distressed. “But no one, not even my best men, could find her. She took a path I could not follow! How could I have abandoned her to this? How could this crown that is on my head costed my family?”

Satine is about to sob, but she surprises the men present in the room by holding back her tears. Anakin notices that the pain in her eyes mirror the ones he saw in Obi-Wan when he was told about what you’d done. Perhaps, he thinks to himself, it was even more miserable. Whatever had happened between the two of you, it’s costing Obi-Wan’s peace of mind. Anakin never thought he’d see his master so broken inside. So hurt. So desolated.

Yet he’s playing the strong figure. Because Satine needs it. Because he too cannot fall apart.

“I will rescue Y/N, Satine. You did well in contact me. It’s for the best interest of the Galaxy that she does not fall to the Sith’s hands.”

Only Anakin sees the shivers that goes up to his master’s spine and shake his shoulders. Poor man, he thinks. He must’ve loved her so to be so miserable inside.

It’s when he prepares to leave but Obi-Wan prevents him to follow.

“Anakin, I need you stay. Make Satine company and wait for my orders.”

His voice is firm and Anakin knows there’s no chance to argue with him. Yet the Jedi Knight decides to try.

“But you cannot go alone, Master. Maker knows what you will find…”

Obi-Wan softens before his Padawan’s concern. There is so much he could tell Anakin about all of this, how you mean so much to him. But there’s no time. He places a hand over Anakin’s shoulder and gives a gentle press. A soft, but sad smile is on his lips when he says:

“No. I appreciate your good will, Anakin, but I need to resolve this on my own.”

Defeated, he says:

“Well. May the Force be with you, Master”.

Anakin does not tell Obi-Wan, but he has a bad feeling about this.

***

Your POV.

Every bad habit you dwell on it so you make yourself believe that you are free of the chains of Mandalore’s politics and the constant suffering you were once submitted to, fail its purpose when it leads you to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The memories you share together when you were both adolescents are too much for you to bear. In the presente, you are nowhere to be found, waiting for the next assignment. You have successfully created your own reputation in the Galaxy, forging to yourself a new identity as boutyhunter.

Yet, it’s by the title “Dark Jedi” you are associated to. Despite the part you took in rebelling against Mandalore—in an act that was not aimed against your sister’s rule, but rather to the politicians who broke the goodness in you by trying to punish your liberty, attempting to cage your free spirits until you realized you were nothing but their pawn to try to replace Satine on the throne. You tried to tell her about this plot, but when she refused to hear, you had enough. No one listened to you. But the terrorists who were relocated to the Moon of Mandalore did.

But what does it matter to dwell in the past? Yet the shadow of what was done keeps going back to your mind.

My conscience reprehends me for the choices that brought me into this nothingness.

You are reminded of Obi-Wan. The moments spent together when he trained you in the arts of the Jedis because you have the Force. You close your eyes at the memory. Why must your bad habits lead to him?

Darkness invites you to the forgetfulness. It seems to claim you, you feel it’s tentacles surround your brain and your heart as if you were a fragile prey. Perhaps you had always been one. Where’s your strength now? Where’s your fierceness? You could hear your dark side mocking you.

You close your eyes. You let your dark side come, though uninvited, unwelcome, because you are suffering. Even more so when you remember that particular day.

You were at the gardens dressed in yellow-ish gown with your hair loose, much to the dismay of your sister, who never ceased to remind you about the etiquette of court. But you’d always snap back at her by reminding her that whilst you were the Duchess’s sister, you remained unmarried and until otherwise you were permitted to have your hair down.

There was also another reason for why you preferred to let your auburn hair fall loose to your back: you knew Obi-Wan liked the view. He’d never say it, but you captured him looking at you more than once. There were other moments too, where his fingers lingered in your curls as he taught you, ever so close to you, about meditating. Even to this day you sensed his smell. One of the kind you’ve taken a particular like.

Though you were desired by the men at your sister’s court, Obi-Wan was the reason why you put some effort to embellish yourself. Maids and other men at your sister’s council would accuse you of vanity, but what did they know about the matters of heart?

You wanted to impress him. That day, you’d show him that. Obi-Wan smiled wide when he saw you. You felt yourself blushing when his eyes stared at you, like you were the damsel who was beautifully dressed to meet her knight.

“My lady Y/N”, he’d take your hand and there press a gentle kiss, his lips brushing so lightly against your skin as his eyes held yours in a long gaze. Your heartbeat reached your ears and most certainly his as well. He knew. And you knew he knew. “You look lovely today, although I’m afraid I can’t see how you’d be able to train with a lightsaber in your dress.”

You giggled, feeling so pure as you delighted in the innocent flirtatious upon which you both engaged yourselves. As Obi-Wan led you outdoors, discreet like a lover, you’d say:

“You underestimate my power, Obi-Wan Kenobi”, you smirked at him. “You’ll see that I am capable to let the Force flow even dressed accordingly to the manners of court.”

You could see your delicate manners entertained him because where you were soft and every inch a damsel, you’d never ceased to surprised him whenever you had a lightsaber in your hand.

Back then, Obi-Wan was not a Master yet. Those days were easier for you both. His Master was away and the Jedi was a Padawan who was much more sentimental, prompted to a certain recklessness which in due time would disappear, replaced by his sense of duty. So he was as involved with you as you were with him.

Away from the public sight, the two of you were engaging in the practice of lightsaber. You proved him how easily you mastered the Force there was in you.

“How on Maker’s name you were never sent to be part of the Order?” Obi-Wan inquired. He was mostly impressed by how the long gown you wore did not stop you for being fast in pairing his moves. “You should be there, not here.”

You laughed. “I wish! But my sister has plans for me, as our parents had, whatever these might be.”

“You are stronger than many Jedis I know”, he said, before discovering flattery was your flaw because you got distracted and he pulled you against him. You were defeated. “However, much to train you have, my dear Y/N.”

You remember that you pushed him to the grass. The two of you rolled on top of each other for a while, the surroundings of you filled with the sounds of laughters. It was when he pulled you right underneath himm. And he saw all the sentiment that came from you. He did not think. He kissed you. And you gasped, never before so happy.

You open your eyes. The memory brings a tear out of your eyes. But you have to quickly conceal your feelings again because someone was looking for the Dark Jedi.

You put a dark cape over your shoulders and hide yourself under a long hood in order to dissimulate your presence. It is when you meet Assaj Ventress.

“I don’t care who you are or once were”, the woman in strange clothes is direct in her treat with you. “I require your services. I hear you are a powerful Jedi who nonetheless often flirts with the dark side. Perhaps you are the one I need for what needs to be done.”

You fold your arms, neither denying nor affirming what you hear.

“What is the service you request of me? You need to pay me first otherwise there’s no deal.”

The Ventress, once associated to Dooku and the Dark Forces, gives you a considerable amount of gold.

“You have to destroy Count Dooku.” She gives away just like that. “Can you do that?”

You furrow your eyebrows. The amount of gold is more than you ever received in your life, but was it worth meddling in the conflict that was part of the Jedis? You don’t acknowledge yourself as Jedi, if yet you ever were one.

The Ventress is impatient, but you need to consider the advantages of the proposal. Usually you stayed away from these conflicts. But you require more information. She then tells you about General Grievous.

“Him I can deal”, you tell her. “But not Dooku. These affairs are not mine to conduct. Not anymore. I have no desire to be associated with the Republic, the Separatists or…” you whisper dangerously. “…the Jedis and their Siths. For a long time I’ve removed myself off their own conflicts.”

There is a subtle menace in your words and the Ventress realizes that this might be as far as she might get from you. You have some unfinished business with Grievous, this you make clear. You can also tell that the Ventress is planning to manipulate this fact to her favor, and it is when you surprise your client by almost suffocating her.

“It is what I say or nothing. I will not tolerate to serve your dirty purposes. Do you understand me?”

She gasps, struggling against your force. It is not until she eventually aquiesces that you let go of her. You don’t return the gold. You turn your back to her and go silently to where your ship is. It’s time for another job. It’s time to get your revenge done.

***

Obi-Wan Kenobi’s POV.

He somehow senses you are not that far as his ride takes him to the planet Y/C, aware that in this region is where he feels your presence. He does not wonder how you fell, neither your reasons for such.

In fact, as he remembers the last time he saw you when he was forced to say goodbye to you, he questions himself. If was not for the sadness in your eyes, by how people around you wanted to turn you into somebody else, perhaps he’d never know.

Obi-Wan feels his heart break. He could have taken you with him to the Order, he could have insisted the Council to make you Jedi. He could have prevented your fall.

As he disguises himself, Obi-Wan walks discreetly to that region, certain you are there. The bond between you remain strong after all those years and the Force is taking him to you. Is he prepared to meet you after the day he left you to your luck?

Guilt continues to pursue the dominance of his conscience as Obi-Wan remembers the day he told you his feelings to you.

You had been left at the palace whilst court followed Satine to her State courtship, and Obi-Wan stayed to be with you. The two of you were alone and however hard he tried to mask his attraction for you, he could not whenever you smiled at him. Seeing you so free of the royal protocols was a sight to behold. You seemed genuinely happy as you danced with your maids, your eyes looking for his.

He wanted more of you. The vows he was about to profess as Jedi meant little when you came to his way. You supped together that evening and talked about many things, tastes in common that had united you in a deep affection. Earlier that day, you teased him again by practicing with the lightsaber wearing the gown he favored. How would you know that? He was puzzled by how easily you read him.

There was, however, some tension as he led you to your quarters. Obi-Wan wanted to profess his feelings to you, but he did not have neither the opportunity to tell you nor the courage to be so open about it. But there you were, and Obi-Wan saw how you were waiting for his move. This move that never seemed to concretize. The look in his eyes that you saw many times before.

It was unlike him to be so carefree, so he surprised you by pressing his lips against yours. Luckily for the both of you, the corridors were empty.

“Obi-Wan…” you pleasantly sighed. “What took you so long?”

“I do not know, my dear Y/N.” He told you, sounding exasperated to his ears.

He did not know he was hungry for you, desperately in need of your affections. You kissed him, but this time he was brought to the inside of your bedchambers.

The two of you giggled as you did not know what to do. The kiss at first was sloppy, messy, but finally it brought the fire that danced in each of your hearts. Obi-Wan could not escape himself, his needs for you ached too much before he subdued them to reason. You took the opportunity. Moved by some strange instinct, you kissed his lips, his neck, giving gentle bites into his skin as your hands slide to his pants.

Obi-Wan heavily sighed, trying to do the same to you, his hands removing your gown, somewhat disastrous as he undid your corset. The two of you giggled at it.

“How can we be less disastrous, uh?” The Jedi chuckled as he apologized for the lack of experience. Yet the look in your eyes made him mewl on the inside. What a divine creature you were to behold.

“Well that makes us both”, you chuckled in return.

He carried you then to your bed. There was no time to rush, so both of you took the opportunity to get to know each other carnally. You were the one to get the initiative. Obi-Wan remembered how he was paralyzed once you kissed his neck and moved your hand to stroke his hard cock. He could not help to sigh out loud. There were moments he thought of you that way but he was always careful to suppress his desires.

But there you were, caressing his manhood, erect in your delicate hands, pulsing against your palms. The Jedi was aroused when he saw the surprise in your eyes giving place to something more…what word could best summarize what were you feeling? Lust? But this was beyond lust. It might had been a discovery for you both. Yet you were enjoying so much.

“How does it feel?”, you inquired, looking for his approval. Obi-Wan let out a groan in response, but he could not speak, which got you puzzled and confused.

He took your hands to his erect member again, asking silently for you to repeat the moves you were doing before. The pleasure was so evident in his face that you finally understood that he was enjoying.

It was when you were about to get your knees when he prevented you from doing. To appease the confused look in your eyes, he kissed your lips rather hungrily and laid you down. Obi-Wan crawled over you, leaving traces of kiss all around you. His eyes admired your curves and he wanted to please you as you pleased him. He took each breast into his lips, devouring you as he almost instinctively inserted a finger in your womanhood. All the while he did that he was attentive at your reactions. Obi-Wan enjoyed how much you gave yourself to him, how your body was restless underneath his touch. He was set alight just by tasting you and seeing you reciprocated his desires.

You eventually pulled him to you, and it was where the mess finally began. Your kiss was intoxicated and there were no vows that remained intact before love. Yes, the Jedi loved you. He was eager, anxious to show you how much he adored you, how much he was devoted to you.

“I love you”, you were the first to say. It was right when he adjusted his hips and prepares to thrust into you. That was a particular awkward moment for Obi-Wan. He felt so clumsy doing so, but your patience would reward him for that. And when he did, these words escaped you and forced him to contemplate you. As a woman. As the one who captured his heart and break his vows. “I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

These are the words that echo in the back of Obi-Wan’s mind as he makes his way through the dark. He feels desolated yet again, eyes going teary. You were so devoted to him, and he paid that devotion to abandonment.

Duty is the death of love, after all.

He is briefly distracted from the memories of better days when he spots a ship. A silver ship. And somebody wearing a dark silver cape. There is little need to hear the steps closer. He knows it’s you.

To his disappointment, if yet this is how he should name his desperation for letting you slip through his fingertips, you sense his presence too, but this makes you move faster. Before the Jedi reaches for you, you are gone.

Obi-Wan feels his knees fail him and he drops on the sand. Atonement is the word that best define him now. But he refuses to let you go. Again.

***

Your POV.

The moment you knew he was there was when your dark side took the best of you. You ran from him when your heart pounded against your chest. But you carefully remember yourself he’s the enemy now. The two of you are lovers no more.

The disturbance in the force tempts you again. You are, in fact, conflicted once more. You cannot deny that every part of your body aches for him, even now. As you pilot your ship to the inevitable encounter with the General Grievous, your mind tracks back the moments spent next to Obi-Wan as much as you wish you could suppress of your being. Seeing him desolated upon your depart, however, resulted in a deeply troubled conscience that only fond remembrances could appease.

The next time you met him after he deflowered you—or better yet you deflowered each other, willingly and in a mutual commitment to the desires that ruled over your hearts—you are moved by a fire that only he could control. Excusing yourself to your Jedi duties, you in fact trapped him right where no one bothered to make sure that training was the only thing the two of you were doing.

“I need you”, you begged him as he kissed you hungrily. “Please, Ben.”

You didn’t even have to ask. He pressed you against the tree, kissing your lips fervently; his hands lifting your legs and, much to your delight, leaving the path to the entrance of his fingers into you.

“Silently, my lady” he teased you, though Obi-Wan was often aroused by how the two of you locked gazes in such intimate moment.

You loved it when he did it slow, evoking inner desperation out of you, as if he owned your pleasurable moments that you two shared together, which was true. He saw how you subdued to him so easily. And you enjoyed him watching as he ruined you. Obi-Wan did not take so long to replace his fingers with something else. That day you didn’t know how bold he was about to become to you.

The Jedi hid underneath your gown as he began pleasuring you with his mouth.

Oh Maker! You silently gasped, actually using the Force not to yell out loud. Your legs trembled, a wave shook your legs and before you knew it, you’d rode the man’s face.

You had not yet recovered when he came to surface and pressed his erected manhood into you.

“My, my. What have I done to you?”, you whispered mischievously as he kissed your neck again, going down to your breasts.

Whatever happened to slow paces that day definitely did not request it. But even after that, the ever romantic Obi-Wan took you to his arms and the two of you watched the sunset together.

“I love you”, he whispered against your ears. “Never forget that.”

And you still don’t. To your horror, he’s occupying your mind again. But there’s little time as you had business to do.

Grievous was waiting for you, of course. You don’t exactly land in surprise there. In fact, it is almost as if you are doing that on purpose. To be seen. To be caught.

You don’t have difficulties when it came to deal with these droids. Although mentally exhausted because of the conflict that never ceases to battle your conscience and heart, you played the role perfectly well.

Dark Jedi.

You scoff upon the title your clients gave you. Because you have a conscience, because you behave honorably at times, but because you flirted with the dark side and remained a rebel at heart.

You take your white lightsaber to battle the enemy was responsible for turning the Mandalorians against you.

“You thought I would be the puppet for your purposes, didn’t you Grievous?”, your despise is like a poison.

The robotic Sith laughs at you.

“You were an insignificant loss to the plans of my master, but that means nothing now.”

He takes his sabers. The dance of death begins.

“Dark Jedi, eh? Is that how you attend by now?”

You don’t give in to his conversation, rather concentrated in resisting his blows. For a robot, Grievous proves to be a difficult opponent.

Fed by revenge, you are willing to destroy. Darkness disturbs the Force again when you make it useful for your own purposes.

“You’d have been a great Sith if you were doted of brains”, Grievous said.

Some part of you wanted to give up. Was there any reason to live? What’s the worth of you vengeance? Satine chose her side, she’d not hear you when you presented your claims. Somehow, you turned out abandoned by all those you love.

Pain.

Turns to hatred.

It leads to the inevitable…

…suffering.

“You will not destroy me!”

“You underestimate my power!” A phrase you famously quoted to Obi-Wan years ago is now spitted venomously.

You clash against him, you bend him to you. There’s no hope for you, nothing.

Give up, you tell yourself. What’s the point of resisting?

Then it occurs you that this might be a trap. You are very close to destroy Grievous. This close. You already made him lose a saber, then an arm.

What if this is what the Sith Lords wanted all along? What if this is what they want me to become so they could punish my sister? So they could take…him?

However, when reason comes to you, it’s a little late. Your revenge is complete. General Grievous is destroyed.

***

Obi-Wan POV.

It takes a long time before he knows where you are. In that volcano planet, and the Maker wonders why of all the places, Obi-Wan finds you. He does not take so long to pick up the pieces. His heart aches when he finds out the truth.

You were the victim of a masterplan carefully intricated to the war that was bleeding the Galaxy. He knows it now. A little too late, he wonders?

He watches you hold your lightsaber, unsure whether he is relieved for seeing it’s not red the color of it. You are on his back to him, your eyes staring down at the destroyed general.

“I’m afraid you came too late, Obi-Wan.”

Even now the connection is strong. However bent his heart is to the inevitable pain that such remark weights in him, Obi-Wan is not a Jedi to give up easily. Especially when it comes to you.

“It’s never too late to go back right to where you belong, Y/N.” He begins calmly, speaking quietly.

Obi-Wan waits until you slowly turn to meet him. He sees the conflict in your eyes and holds onto the hope.

“I was set up”, you told him.

“I know that now.” His voice is choked. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t there, I…”

“No, you were not.” You cut him off. The hand that holds your lightsaber is shaking. “You chose your path. My heart left with you, but I could never follow you. I accepted that. But where were you when the conspiracy befell me? Of all people, you could have helped me.”

Obi-Wan knows he deserves the accusations, each one that comes from you is like a dagger right into his chest. But he understands that the dark side is twisting your vision, using your pain to make him look like he’s your enemy.

“Y/N, I wasn’t informed of any of this. I was kept away…” He hopes to appeal to your reason. He is not lying. Could you not see that?

You raise your lightsaber. Obi-Wan is baffled by the decision you are making. No. He’s not going to lose you.

“Y/N, I am not fighting you. We are not enemies!” He exclaims, his eyes going teary. What have they done to you? “Listen to me! You are better than this!”

You pop up your lightsaber, your heart pounds as if it’s ripping your chest. You are about to follow the machinations orchestrated by the Chancellor. You are, after all, the vital piece to dominate Mandalore. If you opt to fight Obi-Wan and, let’s just say, defeat him, what’s there to leave for you if not the path to become a Sith?

Obi-Wan sees the logic that your mind is too clouded by the thunderstorms produced by a constant clash between the good and the evil that are inside you.

“I…” you are about to surrender.

But he cannot allow this to happen. I will not lose you again.

“I love you, Y/N! I love you!”

You hesitate. You put your saber down. Obi-Wan is not yet relieved, nor satisfied with the subtle change in your demeanor. He will bring you back to life.

He runs to you. After taking the lightsaber off your hands, he removes the cape off your shoulders. He cups your face with his hands.

“Look at me, look at me!” Obi-Wan searches for your eyes. “I am not letting you fall. I failed you once, I will not fail you again. Look at the good there is in you. Please, Y/N. Do not quake into fear.”

Little by little, Obi-Wan fights his own desolation as he merges into your soul. He rests his forehead against yours, using the Force to bring you back.

And as you are reasonable once again, as your eyes leave the emptiness that were coloring your irises, you burst into tears. He holds you tight, feeling that the clouds of darkness finally left your heart. For good.

***

Your POV.

You are still shaking, even if the environment is hot as hell. You feel accountable to your actions. There’s hurt and pain in you, but no more anger. No more misery.

“I’m sorry”, you manage to speak as you look into his eyes. Obi-Wan is there, holding you close. Oh the desolation that fell upon the two of you! “I’m so sorry!”

He swallows the tears as he presses a kiss onto your forehead.

“It’s all right now, dear one. You were much more a victim to the machinations of the Sith than truthfully accountable for what you did”, and Obi-Wan means every word. He prays you believe in them, though.

But how could you when remorse begins to wash over your being?

“I cannot blame the Sith if I allow them, to a certain point, to manipulate me.” You sob, covering your face with your hands. “I brought shame to Satine, to Mandalore. Oh Maker, how weak minded was I!”

Obi-Wan is the solace you need and he embraces you as to show you this.

“If you were so, you’d have given yourself to the dark forces”, he tells you. “In fact, you are brave, Y/N! You met the shadows that lived in you, but you overcame them. The storm is over. You are free, my darling.”

There is doubt in your eyes. For the best, right now, he takes you out of that volcano planet that creeps him out. As you enter his ship, he leaves it automatic pilot before he goes to you, placing a blanket around your shoulders.

“I should have never left you”, he tells you in a whisper. Obi-Wan does not intend to leave you ever again, regardless of the consequences of his decision. It is as traumatic to you as to him to see you in such a scenario of nearly self destruction.

As you hold him close to you, you surprise yourself by comforting him. You make him look at you as the words roll out of your tongue:

“I never blamed you for leaving like that. Yes, my heart was broken when you did because I loved you with all my being. But in truth I knew you’d have to go eventually. I was well lectured in the aspects of duty. I wouldn’t do different if I were in your shoes, Obi-Wan.” You pause as if to contemplate what you are saying. “Duty must always come first and foremost before our desires. We must place sentiments aside, however, when I was found out that plot about me, clearly orchestrated by the Sith, and no one believed in me… that hurt me more. I tried to appeal for you, but I felt alone.”

You sigh, sad. That is what you are now, sad. Obi-Wan studies you as you fall silent. There is sadness in your heart, giving path to old insecurities. The more he reads into you, the more he… loves you.

“I will not leave you”, he tells you, firm this time. You look at him, surprised. “Never. It’s a vow I make you and will not break it.”

Obi-Wan leans to kiss you and, in spite of your reluctance, you soon melt it. You return the kiss affectionately. It is as if you are making peace, restauring what you once believed to have been lost.

And just like that, the lucid sentiment flows through the kiss, warming both of you at the same time. It turns into the old urge, one you suppressed long time ago and so did he.

He puts you in his lap, and you spread your legs as you do. When your eyes meet, there is no words. There is mutual understanding.

He pulls your hair gently and you throw your head back as his lips pursue your neck. Clothes never felt so heavy in your body as they do now. But Obi-Wan does not take long to remove your robes, surprising you by his skills. You save this observation for later.

You run your fingers through his ginger hair, pulling it intently as you feel his mouth devour your nipples, massaging the one whilst biting the other.

“Oh, Maker!” You squirm under his touch, feeling his hardness beneath you. How have you missed this!

But this time you decide to take control. You show it by pinning him against the wall, slipping to the between of his legs.

“What are you doing…?” Obi-Wan is about to ask when his eyes go wide at you pulling his manhood out.

Oh. He furrows his eyebrows. You can tell he’s been wanting this. But you never had the opportunity to give him the pleasure he gave you years ago.

So you delicately do the same as he did. And any protests that he prepared because, frankly, you are a damsel to his eyes and will always be so, they die in his tongue. He inclines his back against the wall, barely able to breathe as he watches you dominating him in every aspect with your tongue.

Obi-Wan cannot look away. As he plays with your hair, and you take your time to please him, every concern is tossed aside. It is as if those years you were apart of each other never existed.

Your eyes are locked with each other. You feel his needs and you increase whatever it is you are doing just to hear him moan. And he does. He moans your name. It makes you wet and you feel that friction in your womanhood that you never again felt.

Because the day he parted, my heart and desires followed you.

As if listening to your thoughts, he smiles down at you as his climax begins to build. Obi-Wan interrupts you because he wants to make love to you. This time, he does not struggle to penetrate you.

“Oh my Maker!” You sigh so loud.

There is just you and him in such a large ship. You forget your destination. All that matters now is the love you make. He grips tightly your body, pulling it against him as he moves inside you. There is a sense of possessiveness emanating from Obi-Wan, but it shares yours.

“Obi-Wan!” You moan his name when he fastens his pace. Your hips move just as fast as he is.

“Look at me”, he commands you and you obey. He wants to watch you come undone as he inserts a finger right there. A coy smirk crosses his lips when he watches you widening your eyes. “Look at me, Y/N”.

And you do. Obi-Wan had missed the view, how he affects you, the reason why you cry out his name, why your body shakes. He desires you so badly, it turns him on seeing you like this. So undone for him.

He kisses you hungrily just as you shake and you respond him in the same intensity. You mewl under his touch as he finally releases the seed inside you. Maker, that was so good!

And you keep riding on him because you want more of his seed. His eyes follow your moves lazily, his hands still playing with your tits.

“You are so perfect, Y/N.”

And he cuddles you against him. Messy, both of you are.

“I love you the way you are.”

You can tell he smiles when you cuddle him back, feeling his heartbeat slow down as you rest your head at him.

“I love you, Ben.” You whisper against his ear.

This is the peace you required. The moment both of you needed, the reunion your hearts desired.

But it all comes to an end when the robotic voice of the ship announces that you are about to land in Mandalore.

***

Epilogue.

You dress in a magnificent white gown, whose lace is entailed with details associated to Mandalore. It also has long sleeves, showing some of your cleavage. Your auburn hair is tied in a long braid and over your hear there is a tiara once wore by your mother.

Satine is the one who takes you to the altar. It is only fair after your reconciliation. She acknowledged her wrongs as much as you did yours and now your sisterly bond got stronger. So once she gives you away to Obi-Wan, you whisper a “thank you” that only she could hear.

“You are magnificent, my darling”, says Obi-Wan in his formal robes. There present by his side stands Anakin Skywalker accompanied by Senator Padmé Amidala. Surprisingly, some other members of the Jedi Council are also counted amongs the few guests and Master Windu was one of them with Master Yoda by his side.

“You have very loving eyes, my dear Ben”, you respond softly. “The handsome here is you.”

You exchange long, loving glances. There is tenderness, there is love in your eyes. Then the priest begins the ceremony. Once he blesses your union, you and Obi-Wan profess your vow.

“I now declare you husband and wife.”

He leans forward to kiss you, and you press your lips against him, ever so tender.

“Mrs Kenobi”, you tell him secretively. “It sounds so fancy.”

Obi-Wan laughs at that, but a blush gives his face some color. His heartbeat goes fast at what you say. He cannot believe that he’s finally heard his heart and complied to his needs. Duty was fulfilled and as he looks at you, he knows it is now to you he’s devoted completely.

“I’m looking forward to have you to myself tonight”, he whispers, pleased to make you blush.

But for now the intimacy had to wait as the guests require your attention…

***

As you sleep peacefully by his side, Obi-Wan contemplates you with serenity. His hand traces small circles in your bare back, playing with some locks of your hair. He is more than content to see you are in peace after years of lost in trouble because of the Sith.

But the war carries on outside. Though he does not wish to be remembered that, it’s a fact. Obi-Wan senses a child grows in your belly even if you ignore the fact. This sudden realization makes him smile to himself and cuddle you carefully. But it also worries him.

If something happens to us, the child must be hidden somewhere.

An idea that saddens him, but Obi-Wan, cautious as he may be, knows that he must be prepared for everything.

I know a girl is coming. If so, I’ll name her Rey. It is only fair. Has a ring to it, has it not?

Obi-Wan smiles in content. Why worrying with the future when present is giving you everything he aimed for?

Shaking his head as if he reprehends himself for cultivating what he calls paranoia, the Jedi tends for you. The images of your lovemaking clearly washes away his concerns. Perhaps moved by them, he leans forward to kiss your neck.

Obi-Wan would never let you go again.

#star wars #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi #the clone wars #imagine Star Wars #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x you #obi-wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obiwan kenobi x reader #obiwan kenobi x y/n #obiwan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi smut #obiwan kenobi smut #obi-wan kenobi smut #obiwan smut #ed sheeran #bad habits

[stellatekintsugi]

Harry Styles for Better Homes & Gardens Magazine

#harry styles one direction #harry styles girlfriend #louis and harry #harry and niall #harry styles #harry styles theme #harry's house album #harry update #harry styles photos #harry styles one shot #harry smut #harry styles adore you #harry styles album #harry styles and ed sheeran #harry styles avatars #harry styles au #harry styles and olivia wilde have not split after he refused to pose with her on red carpet #harry styles angst #harry styles aesthetic #harry styles admits he’s a dud in bed… but don’t fret

[scrappyskin]

my nightly routine is

- skip dinner

- homework

- shower

- cut

- read smut ❤️

#sh #ed not ed sheeran #smut #cvtaddict #cvtting

[virg0gr0ov3]

why is the khan academy narrator voice kinda hot…

#khan academy #school #ed sheeran #elon musk #christmas #mathematics #smut #harry styles #voice #slipknot #flyleaf #nirvana #hot

[zimmer-zupastar]

Me ranting how im not gonna eat for the week all day at school

(also me walking into my room)

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz fanfic #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic #georg listing #gustav schäfer #kaulitz twins #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz smut #georg listing fluff #ed not ed sheeran #male ed #durch den monsun #school #gustav schafer fluff #gustav schafer x reader #gustav schafer smut #georg listing smut #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz fanfic #bonespø #⭐️ve #⭐️rving #⭐️vation goals #b0n3sp0 #fat piggy #fatty piggy #chocolate cake #pudding #i love my pookies

[stellatekintsugi]

Harry Styles

#niall and harry #harry styles background #louis and harry #harry and niall #harry styles #harry icons #prince harry #harry styles b&w #solo harry #harry styles avatars #harry smut #harry styles brown #harry styles au #harry styles aesthetic #harry styles alternate universe #harry styles adore you #harry styles and ed sheeran #harry styles album #harry styles and chris pine &039;spit take&039;? &039;don&039;t worry darling #harry styles as it was #harry styles blurb #harry styles brasil #harry styles birthday #harry styles blog #harry styles croc charms #harry styles concert ukraine #harry styles chris pine #harry styles comfort #harry styles concept #harry styles dom

[iluvmattsbeard]

threat (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: swearing/smut/p in v/ unprotected sex/cheating/mentions a bit of blood/drinking

preview: you and your baby daddy Matt kept a close relationship for the sake of your toddler. your boyfriend Liam never saw Matt as a problem. he knew you guys were only close because of your shared child, or so he thought.

a/n: drama alert 😗 - L 🤍

you were laying on the couch with your boyfriend Liam as you both watch a movie. you weren’t paying attention as much because you couldn’t help but have constant thoughts in your head. tomorrow was your daughter Sophie’s 2nd birthday. you were feeling anxious of the thought of your boyfriend and your baby daddy finally meeting. you have been hesitant to introduce Liam to Matt. you let out a soft sigh. your boyfriend looks at you as he speaks up, “what’s wrong?” you look at him hesitant to speak what’s on your mind. “come on you can tell me.” he adds on reassuringly. “i’m nervous for tomorrow.” you say quietly.

his face soon turned into confusion, “what why? is it because i’m finally going to meet Matt?” he asks which you respond with a nod. his expression softens as he lets out a laugh, “babe don’t worry so much. i’m glad I can finally meet him and finally see if he’s better looking than me.” he says. you just sit there with an unamused look as his smile fades, “in all seriousness, i understand how important this is to you. i know you guys are co parenting for Sophie and I think it’s awesome how you guys kept a close bond for her.” he says. “it’s just- i mean-.” you sigh stopping yourself, “he has to have some sort of approval you know? i mean you are around his daughter constantly.” you finish off.

Liam nods, “I understand. I’ll just have to leave off a good impression.” he says with a smile. you still have the same blank face as you nod. you lay your head back down on his chest as you continue to have the thoughts. you were hoping for the best.

*time skip*

you were in the backyard setting up the tables as your Mom helped you. your mom stared at you as she noticed your expression. "what's wrong Y/n?" she asks laying down napkins. you were fixing the center pieces as you stop to look at her. "is it obvious?" you say with an awkward laugh. she lets out a soft laugh before responding, "yes it is. is it because Liam and Matt are going to meet later?" you sigh, "yes. Liam is some what excited to meet him. Matt on the other hand has been giving this weird vibe through text. what if Matt doesn't approve?" you say.

"so what if he doesn't? just because you have a daughter together doesn't mean you can't simply have your own life." she says. "plus, he was the one who ended the relationship between you two remember?" she adds on. she was right about that. Matt ended the relationship because he didn't feel ready for the whole commitment of living together. he thought everything was going too fast. he still wanted to be in his daughter's life though. he's a good father, he just wasn't the best partner.

he wasn't good at being open or vulnerable. so that's what ended the relationship. you and Liam on the other hand have been together for almost a year and he does nothing but prove to you that he is a great man. he adores your daughter and that's what made you grow more attached to him. you nod your head, "yeah you're right. i'm with Liam now so he just has to put up with it." you say with a weak smile. she rubs your shoulder, "good. now let's go fix the dessert table." she says.

as time goes by, guests finally started to arrive. you were holding your daughter as she rested on your hip. Liam was right next to you as he tries to make Sophie smile for a picture, "look over here Sophie!" he says holding his phone while making a silly face. Sophie starts to giggle as she looks at the camera. meanwhile while you were giggling as well at Liam, Matt walks into the backyard. "Matthew!" your mom says with a smile, embracing him in a hug. Matt embraces her back in a hug as he says hi. as they were hugging, he sees you laughing in the distance with Liam and Sophie. it made him tense up a bit from the sight. he pulls away from your mother as he speaks, "i'm going to go say hi to Y/n and them." he says as your Mom nods.

Matt then makes his way to you guys. you notice and do a double take making your smile fade away. you could tell he was tense. he was wearing a white shirt, black pants with his keys hooped onto his belt ring, and a fitted hat. you gulp as you lock eyes with him. "hey Matt." you say quietly. "Dada!" Sophie squeals as she reaches for him. Matt takes her from your arms as he smiles, "hi princess." he says. he then looks at Liam, looking at him up and down, "what's up. you must be Liam." he says. "yes that's me. you must be Matt." Liam responds holding his hand out. Matt looks at his hand for a bit before going to give him a handshake. Liam gulps with a nervous smile. he was a bit intimidated by Matt. he didn't expect Matt to look the way he does.

Matt notices your stare as he grins, "you did good setting this up. i'm sorry I couldn't help. busy morning." he says. "thank you. it's fine, I had my parents and Liam to help me." you respond. Liam was noticing the way Matt looked at you. he wrapped his arm around you as he looked at Matt. Matt tenses up again and lets a fake smile appear on his face, "Dada! bouncy house!" Sophie says making him look at her and chuckle. "well I guess I have to go." Matt says as he walks away with Sophie. "are you sure I have nothing to worry about with you and Matt?" Liam says pulling away. you widen your eyes as you nod, "of course! me and Matt are just co parenting." you say. "okay, just making sure." he smiles, "I hope I get to talk to him more later." you just nod and give a fake smile. you turn to look towards the bounce house as you see Matt playing with your daughter.

you couldn't help but look in admiration. even though you were in a relationship, you still couldn't shake off the thought of 'what if?'. what if things were different? you just stood there as you tried to avoid the thoughts. later on, Liam and Matt started to talk to each other as you sat there with Sophie on your lap. it looked like they were getting along, which made you feel a little bit of relief. you were mostly studying Matt's facial expressions and body language. it looked like he was enjoying the conversation.

"time for cake!" you hear your mother say. you get up carrying Sophie as you make your way to the dessert table. everybody else follows as they gather around the table. you stood behind the cake as Matt joins right next to you. you all started to sing happy birthday as Matt keeps his eyes on you while singing. you weren't paying attention as you sing as well. when the song comes to an end, you smile as you lean towards the cake. "blow the candle baby!" you say to Sophie.

Sophie blows out the candle and everybody claps. Sophie claps as well while giggling. "take a picture guys!" your mother says holding her phone out. you and Matt stand close together, "look Sophie, look at grandma and smile." you say. she smiles big making you let out a soft laugh. your laughter slowly died out as you felt Matt's arm wrap around your waist, gripping a bit. you gulp before smiling a bit at the camera. you felt Matt softly rub your waist as his hand touched your skin a bit under your shirt. after the picture was taken, you move away quickly.

time goes by and the party finally ends, you say bye to everybody and thank them. “i got to go too babe.” Liam says. you turn to look at him as you speak, “what why? you aren’t spending the night?” he smiles a bit before responding, “i have work early in the morning. you know this.” you sigh and nod, “alright… just text me when you get home.” you say. he embraces you in a hug and he kisses your forehead before leaving. “how sweet.” you hear a familiar voice say. you turn your head around to see Matt. "are you heading out now too?" you say. "yeah. I cleaned up a bit so you have less to do. I also took a few of Sophie's gifts so she can have some more toys at my place." he says. you nod and smile, "thank you. tell Nick and Chris I said hi." you say. "I will." he says walking to leave but he stops right next you as he whispers in your ear, "I don't like him." you widen your eyes as he walks out.

a few days pass by since the party and you couldn't help but replay what Matt last said to you before he left. how could he just leave with no explanation to his words? you thought they were hitting it off, what made Matt dislike him? you were in the kitchen as you poured yourself a glass of wine. you sat on the your bar stool as you looked through the photos that had been taken at the party. you couldn't help but keep your eyes on the one of you and Matt. remembering his touch on your waist in that moment.

as you sit there staring at the photo, you hear the door bell ring. you put down your wine glass as you look towards the door confused. who could it be? you get up walking towards the door, opening it. you were caught by the site of Matt. he was wearing the same fitted hat from the party, grey long sleeve shirt, and baggy jeans. your eyes widen a bit from shock, "Matt? what are you doing here?" you ask.

"I thought I was picking up Sophie?" he says. you look at the date on your phone before looking back up at him, "no, you were supposed to pick her up tomorrow. she's with my parents right now." you say. he knew that. he just wanted an excuse to see you, "oh, I got the days mixed up." he says which was a lie. you let out a soft laugh as you believe his words, "yeah..." you say. it stayed silent for a bit as he checks you out, "can I stick around for a bit? I mean I didn't drive here for no reason." he says. you were hesitant but eventually respond, "uh sure I guess." he smiles as you open the door all the way letting him in. you shut the door before following behind him towards the kitchen. "drinking on a Wednesday afternoon?" he chuckles. you smile nervously, "I was just in the mood to do so." you reply.

he takes off his hat, laying it down on the counter. he began to fix his hair in the microwave reflection as you stand there watching him. “so… about what you last said…” you say quietly. he turns to look at you, “what about it?” he asks. “well, i thought you guys were getting along. why don’t you like him?” you ask shifting uncomfortably. he grins before speaking up, “it’s not that i think he’s a bad guy. he’s cool to talk to don’t get me wrong. i just don’t like him for you.” you look at him with confusion before responding, “why is that?” “Y/n, do you think i believe it?” he says catching you off guard, “what is that supposed to mean?” you ask.

“you really want me to believe you actually want to be with him?” he says before letting out a chuckle, “look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t think about me still.” he adds on. your eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his words, “are you serious Matt?” you say. he gets closer to you, looking down at you, “tell me.” he says. you look up at him as you analyze his face. what is he doing? you could smell his cologne from how close he was. the familiar scent drove you crazy. “i-i’m with Liam.” you stutter out. he lets out a laugh as he grips onto your waist, picking you up, placing you on the counter, “keep telling yourself that.” he says before attaching his lips onto yours.

your eyes widen again as you almost pull away but you quickly give in from the familiarity. his hands were attached on your hips under your shirt slightly. the kiss was getting heavier as you felt him stick his tongue into your mouth. you do the same back as your tongues fight for dominance. he eventually won like always. your legs were wrapped around his waist as he begins to kiss on your neck. “Matt…” you moan out softly. he grins before picking you up walking to your bedroom. he lays you down on the bed before going to shut the door, locking it. he wastes no time crawling on top of you as he reattaches his lips with yours. it felt so wrong but so right at the same time.

he then slips his hand down your silk pajama pants as he rubs on your clothed cunt. you gasp a bit from the sudden feeling as you felt yourself get wet. “M-Matt…” you stutter out. he then starts to kiss on your neck again as you moan out softly before turning to look to your side to see the framed photo of you and Liam. shit. Matt then pulls away, slipping his hand out from your pants as he takes off his shirt. he notices you looking at the framed photo. he goes back to kiss you as you kiss back, without pulling away, he knocks the frame from the table onto the ground on purpose. he begins to take your shirt off, exposing your bare tits. he looks at them, “how i missed them.” he says. you blush slightly from his words.

he then pulls down your pajama pants along with your panties. he then pulls down his jeans along with his boxers which makes your eyes widen at his lengthy cock. “you missed this huh?” he asks. you gulp while nodding. you knew he was much bigger than Liam. you spread your legs as he takes the blanket to cover you both before inserting into you causing you to throw your head back from the feeling. he begins to thrust back and forth as he watches your face that had visible pleasure shown. “you like that baby? feels good huh?” he says. you nod moaning out, “fuck yes.” he laughs before picking up the pace, “that’s right.” he says. your eyes started to roll back as he hit your g spot over and over again. Matt smirks, “you belong to me.” he says.

before you know it, you both were going at it for a while. you were taking in the moment as you now remembered why you both ended up with a child. when you guys were finished, Matt kisses your forehead before getting up, “can i take a shower?” he asks. you nod, “of course you can.” he smiles before going to the bathroom, leaving you there staring at the ceiling.

after a bit, you put your panties and your shirt back on clueless. little did you know, Liam was downstairs looking for you. as he heads to the kitchen, he notices Matt’s fitted hat. which made him pick it up with his face heating up from anger. he grips the hat before walking upstairs to your room, quickly opening the door. Matt walks out with only a towel wrapped around his waist, he locks eyes with the angered man as you sit up looking at Liam as well, “so how long has this been going on?” Liam says. “L-Liam. i can explain.” you say. he just throws the hat on the bed as he walks out the room. you get up quickly, running after him. “Liam please!” you shout desperately. Matt begins to put his clothes on in your room. Liam stops walking as he turns to look at you, “you’re fucking ridiculous Y/n.” he says.

“Liam please it’s not what it looks like.” you plead. all he does is scoff, “what the fuck do you mean? it’s clear to me.” he says. “i didn’t want to see him as a threat for your sake and for your daughter but i guess i had to.” he adds on shouting. “i-i didn’t think this would happen.” you say. “oh don’t start.” he says rolling his eyes. “i’m sorry Liam it was so sudden-.” you say but he cuts you off, “it’s a little too late for that. it was obvious since the party that you still felt some type of way for him. you lied to me!” he shouts. Matt was at door listening. “can you please calm down? like i said, i didn’t think this would happen.” you say. Liam just scoffs again, “you didn’t think this would happen? where you would spread your legs like a fucking slut?” he shouts causing you to flinch from the words that came out his mouth.

suddenly, Matt comes out from the door way as he swings at Liam. you cover your mouth as you look at the boy on the ground holding his face, “why did you do that?!” Liam yells out. Matt was standing there angrily as he yanks Liam from his shirt aggressively to get closer to his face, “you know why i did that. what you’re going to do now is go down those stairs and walk out the fucking door.” Matt says sternly. you stand there shocked as you see Liam’s lip bleeding from the altercation. Liam just stares at Matt with the same shocked expression as you. “and don’t even bother showing up again. understood?” Matt adds on. “don’t just fucking stare at me. answer me.” Matt shouts angrily which causes Liam to nod quickly. he releases him from his grip as the busted up boy walks down the stairs, leaving your house.

Matt looks at you, “what a pussy.” he says with a laugh. “I can’t believe he called me a slut.” you say. “a slut for me that’s for sure.” Matt says with a grin. you smile hitting him playfully, “there you ruined my relationship are you happy?” you say. “yeah i guess.” he says which causes you to glare at him. “what do you mean ‘i guess’?” you say. “well yeah i’m glad he’s gone now but it would make me even happier if you got back together with me.” he says. “are you even ready?” you ask because last you recall he wasn’t. “i’m more than ready. seeing you be happy with that guy and Sophie at the party made me angry. but i felt stupid for being angry because if i didn’t leave in the first place, you wouldn’t have been with that guy. now, i realize what i did was cowardly. instead of thinking for myself i should’ve thought about you and our little family.”

you stand there with your stomach turning. when did he become so open? “if you give me a chance, i will make it up to you and Sophie. I love you Y/n.” he says which makes your heart start to beat fast. “i love you too Matt. i want nothing more than this.” you say. Matt smiles and embraces you in a hug. it stayed silent for a bit until he broke it, “plus be honest.” you look up at him confused, “what?” you ask. he looks down at you with a grin, “who fucks you better? i mean you did have my baby.” he says. you push him away turning red which makes him laugh. “answer the question Y/n.” he says with a smile. “shut up Matt.” you say. you already knew he knew the answer to that stupid question.

a/n: daddy Matt 😗 this song is so nostalgic - L 🤍

Tag list! (comment anything to be added)

@jnkvivi @fuckshitslover @nickgetsmewetter @mwahsturns @jetaimevous @sturniolo-fann

#Spotify #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo oneshots #matt sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo oneshot #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets imagines #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets fanfic #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #matthew sturniolo angst #christopher sturniolo imagine #nicolas sturniolo imagine

[hoshiputa]

friends

💌 dokyeom X female reader

🎫 preview: "Fuck, it really is big," you said, grinding against his hardened cock, feeling all of his length against your core. "Promise I'll be careful," Seokmin said softly. "You don't have to," you smirked against his lips.

cw: nsfw, size kink, friends to lovers, mentions of past relationships, reader is small, smut and fluff, awkward flirting, booseoksoon centric, pussy drunk dk, fingerfucking, blowjob, piv sex

word count: 13.5k (sorry I'm so in love with dk and I needed the self indulging feeling of writing being bffs with BSS but I promise its worth it)

Read here <3

inspired by Friends - Ed Sheeran

#dokyeom #dk #dokyeom smut #dk smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #lee seokmin smut #mine

[xhoneygirlxx]

We’re Not Friends

Best Friend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: Eddie is just trying to help when he offers to be your date to your sister's wedding, but with all the love in the air will you and Eddie be able to stay friends?

warnings: lots of angst. reader's family sucks. reader's mom makes a comment about her weight. anxiety attacks. reader has low self esteem. fluff. best friends to lovers. fake dating. modern au. (this is titled after an Ed Sheeran song and I also use another one of his songs in the fic, sue me). slight smut. allusions to sex. alcohol consumption. swearing. minors dni!!!!!!!!!! reader and Eddie are both in their 20's. no y/n used, reader is referred to as Birdie. skin color/ethnicity/body type is not mentioned. spelling errors/shitting writing, just pretend you don't notice lmao. also the venue is completely made up and so is the location if you couldn’t tell, im not that creative.

*if I miss anything plz lmk*

a/n: hi my loves!!!! this is one of the last fics on my birthday fic list!!! I want to thank all of you for being patient and being so so supportive of my work. I love you all so much!!! also I do go back to work on Monday so I'm going to try to get as many fics pumped out by the end of the weekend.

And that's why friends should sleep in other beds

And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do

And I know that there's a limit to everything

But my friends won't love me like you do

The turning color of the leaves create the prettiest backdrop, tall trees blooming with orange, red, and a pinch of brown. The ones that have already fallen to the ground get swept up under the wheels of Eddie's car, lifting up and swirling around in a pretty dance, and falling right back into place waiting for the next car.

Although the crisp fall morning is peaceful you can't help but feel like you're living a nightmare. As he soft hum of Eddie's playlist flows through the speakers, you're coming up with a plan to turn the whole car around.

So far you thought about faking an illness, one that would stop the whole journey in it's tracks, only to dismiss it because you couldn't put your best friend through that stress. The idea of pulling the steering wheel also came to mind but you quickly threw that out of the window, not wanting to cause injury to the innocent man next to you or anyone else. Your final idea was one you're sure you could pull off as long as you used all the power within your being. If you pushed your feet on the floorboard hard enough, you could poke them out like the Flintstones and stop the car that way.

Between science and logic, you knew that wasn't possible no matter how hard you wished it would. Instead you'll stare out the window, watching all the pretty trees dance in the wind while you push down the rising anxiety that's forming in the pit of your stomach.

"You good over there, Birdie?" The deep voice next to you shakes you from your thoughts.

Turning your head Eddie's already looking at you with a lopsided grin. His demeanor matches the landscape outside, relaxed and serene. As you look at him you wish you could trade places, be as pleasant as he is.

"Yeah I'm just tired." Trying to sell him your answer, you smile lazily at him even though your response holds more tension than a game of tug of war.

Turning his attention back on the road, you watch as the pavement moves on the darkened lenses of his sunglasses. Eddie looks pretty like this, even though you always thinks he looks pretty. Usually he would be a grump having to be up this early, but today he wears his smile like a badge of honor. The dark curls of his hair cascade down his back, while some falls over his shoulders.

He's wearing the same red and black checkered flannel he always does this time of year, the same one you said was your favorite three years ago and it still holds that title. Underneath is a plain black tee shirt, the only one he has that's free of any band name, and a dark blue pair of jeans that have no holes.

He's still the same Eddie, his rings still sit on his fingers and his pick still hangs from the chain around his neck, but it seems that he only gets prettier and prettier as time passes by - like the turning leaves that still hang on the branches of the trees that you drive by.

"I think you're worried about this whole wedding thing," His voice is unwavering, screaming "I'm right" like it always does. "I don't get what's so bad about an open bar and free food."

Although his point is valid, Eddie couldn't be more wrong than that. This wasn't just an event to get drunk for free and stuffed to the gills at no charge. This was your older sister's wedding, the same sister that was the apple of your parents' eyes. Veronica was your arch nemesis since birth, a rival that you had no option but to defeat in order to survive.

You were the outcast of the family, the black sheep if you will, and you had to endure eighteen years of nonstop torture because of it. Your parents, Christine and Tim, were nothing but successful. The doctor and his trophy wife, the star couple in your small community, that had two beautiful and healthy children.

However you were the hardheaded child, the daughter that didn't have a bright future, you didn't carry as much promise as Vee, and your parents made sure to remind you of that every day. So when you moved out three years ago, you made sure to distance yourself as much as you could. But when you received a pristine white envelope with a glamorous invite on the inside, you were roped right back into the hell hole you worked so hard to leave behind.

You could've just ignore it, faked that you were on a trip and couldn't make it but your mother pretty much threatened you into showing up. So that's how you ended up in the countryside right outside of Chicago, driving in Eddie's Toyota Corolla to the Jefferson Manner on a Friday at eight am.

"You're right, Eddie, I should be so thrilled by that. Thank you so much for pointing it out to me." It's snippy with a hint of malice, and your eye roll held enough venom to injure an army of men.

Whistling loudly, Eddie chuckles lightly. "Woah, killer. Relax, I was just tryna help." He's still soft despite your outburst, sweet like your pumpkin spice latte that sits in the cupholder.

Hanging your head, you inhale a deep breath and release it slowly. "I'm sorry, Eds. I just really fucking hate my family."

He switches his attention from you and the road, taking in your saddened features. Reaching his right hand over the console, he places his hand searches for yours and laces his fingers through yours, which you gladly except.

"Don't apologize for that, kay? That's a valid reason for you to not want to go, I was just trying to make you laugh." The sincerity in his voice wraps around you, easing the nerves that go haywire in your body.

His palm is warm like the coffee cups that sit in the cup holders, his voice is as calming as the trees in the wind, and his smile is just as pretty as it was the first day you met him. You're safe with him, the safest you've ever been in your life, and here in the front seat of his car he reminds you of that.

"They just make me crazy, s'why I don't like seeing them." You feel shy being vulnerable, refusing to meet his gaze by focusing on tracing the back of his hand with your free one.

Eddie doesn't mind, instead he reassures you with a quick squeeze of your hand. "If it makes you feel any better, Birdie, I like you a little crazy."

Dimples deep as the sea and smile still as delicate as a flower's pedal, Eddie looks like a painting that hangs in the Louvre. You want to capture this moment of him to have for the rest of your life, so no matter what you can always remember him just like this.

"You say that now." You tease and he eats it right up.

Looking back over to you, he shines his smile onto you, filling you up with the light of a million stars. "And I'll say it till the end of time." There's no tease to it, nothing but truth in the way he says it.

It turns you into jelly, the feelings that swim through your blood stream, and now you've become too sheepish to answer. You decided to trust your touch over your words, squeezing his hand the same way he did to yours, trying your best to communicate the feelings you hold secretly in your heart for your best friend.

The cobblestone driveway leading to the entrance of Jefferson Manner is, for a lack of a better word, beautiful. It is a straight drive to the property, but once you get closer, a large fountain sits in the middle where the arch of the circle driveway starts.

Different colored cars are already lined up, some you recognize and the rest you have no clue who they belong to. Either way it's pretty evident that Eddie 2018 Toyota sticks out like a sore thumb.

The same dread that you left 45 miles back, is now running through you again. Unintentionally, you squeeze his hand harder as your heart begins to pound in your ear and if it hurts him he doesn't mention it. Instead, Eddie gives you one, two, three squeezes and then lets you continue your attempt to stop the blood flow to his hand.

Pulling behind the Mercedes Benz S Class, he puts his car into park and then shuts the car off. Reading your expression the way he always does, he sits in the silence of the car with you until your features loosen up.

"You okay, Birdie?" Even though he knows you're not okay, you still appreciate him asking anyway.

Breathe in. This is temporary. Breathe out. This is not forever. Breathe in. I am safe. Breathe out. I am here.

You repeat this to yourself a few times, eyes clamped shut as you focus on your breathing pattern. Once your head is above water and your heart stops racing, you open your eyes back up to the real world.

Relaxing your shoulders, you let go of the grip you're holding Eddie's hand in. "I'm okay. I'll be okay." Despite answering him, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of what you're saying.

Another brief pause goes by and Eddie continues to monitor you, sunglasses now removed so not only can he see you but you can see him.

Your gaze is unwavering, the thousand yard stare has fallen over you and you have yet to dig out of it. "Are you prepared for what we're about to walk into?"

The tone of your voice scares Eddie, the emotion being sucked right out of the words that you speak despite the feelings that battle in your mind that he doesn't know about.

"Honey, I'm prepared for anything as long as I have you." For a split second he winces, wondering if that was too cringy but when your face breaks out into a sweet smile he feels better.

The two of you get out of the car, retrieving your suitcases and dress bags from the trunk. When the door shuts you begin to count the steps it takes to get to the big wooden doors of the mansion.

You don't have to ask Eddie for his hand, he's already giving it to you and you gladly except it, gripping on for dear life the closer you get. Despite the beautiful landscape and the soothing sound of the running fountain, you feel like this is the soundtrack that plays before your imminent death.

The tall, thick, wooden doors sit menacingly in front of you, the skeletons of your past standing just right behind it waiting for your arrival. The ghosts that have haunted your dreams, the graveyard of your history, and the phantoms of your family, mingle and laugh right behind this door.

Eddie waits for you, not moving a muscle until you say so, and you silently thank him with a smile. Like a switch, he watches your face change from flight to fight mode. In a flash your looking over your outfit, brushing down the long black sleeved shirt that sits on your torso, and then straightening out the jeans that stick to your legs.

Your hair is the next thing you frantically fix, pushing it behind your ears and out of your face, letting it fall over your shoulders while doing so. Like a buzzing bee, you zone in on Eddie, fixing the collar of his flannel and then smoothing the material of his shirt. With out speaking, you pick off a singular piece of fuzz from his pants and then let it blow away in the wind.

Moving your hands back up to his chest, you center the pick on his chain. Then move his hair, fixing the ringlets that got blown around in the breeze. Once your satisfied, you move back to your spot next to him and sweep his hand right back into your hold. Releasing on more deep breath, you settle your pinched eyebrows and your determined eyes, and let the worst fake smile settle onto your lips.

The smile doesn't reach your eyes the way it usually does, your teeth push against one another so forcibly Eddie wonders if you'll shatter teeth, and you simply look like your in pain. Either way, you push open the big oak door and let yourself inside with him following right behind.

The lobby of the manner is everything you expected, high ceilings, a crystal chandelier, and every single family member of yours gathered around sipping champagne and speaking to each other like a potential client.

Even though it's magnificent inside with the beautiful décor and lively plants, the sight of everyone in their gaudy outfits and cheap laughter makes it feel like an eternal hell.

Eddie must feel the way your shoulders tense because he's quickly leaning into you, his voice just a whisper in the shell of your ear.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. You have me and I won't let anything happen." He reminds you, his smile is more sympathetic than anything.

Nodding your head you remain smiling, it's awful and it hurts even doing it but if you want to survive the whirlpool of piranhas, then you just have to fake it until you make it.

"If it isn't our lovely Birdie!" The sound of your mother's voice is like silk, smooth and confident, just like she always was. Walking over to you, she holds a champagne flute in her hand and you wonder how much the bubbling spritz cost your father.

The last time you've seen her was last winter, her million dollar smile outshining the Swarovski crystal tree decorations that sit behind her. Your mother has always been beautiful but her insides are rotten, ugly and maggot infested, all hidden behind the mask that she put on for everyone to see.

You gave up a long time ago trying to figure out her brain, finally accepting defeat to the maze that was her mind. Now when you look at your mother all you see is a shell, a hallow covering that has nothing to offer you other than it's pretty design.

Pulling you into a hug, you're hit with her scent. She smells like Dior and cashmere, the Chanel outfit that sits on her body scratches your skin, and the pearl necklace she wears jabs you right in your collarbone.

"Hello mother, thank you for inviting me to such a wonder occasion." You instantly revert back to your old accent, the same one your mother instilled into you from the time you could even under stand the English language.

A faux laugh comes from her bright red lips, "No need for that, darling, you're always welcome." Her manicured hand waves at you in fake genuineness.

The smile on your face continues to show and you hate to think it matches hers. Even with the sweet tone you use and the gentleness of your actions, the blood that runs through your body continues to boil the longer she stands there.

Eddie on the other hand stands next to you completely and utterly amused by your fake performance. The snort he lets out when you continue to use your "eloquent" voice is quickly covered up by a sniffle.

Like a vulture, your mother's eyes are quick to zero in on the curly haired man next to you. "Excuse my daughter for her bad manner of not introducing us, I'm Christine."

The minute her hand reaches out for a handshake, you're heart stops. This is the one thing that could make or break this whole trip and it was the only thing you didn't prepare your best friend for. Many years of your life, you were trained that a handshake is all it takes for someone to learn about you.

Without skipping a beat, Eddie simply picks embraces her hand like a prince out of a Disney movie and places a kiss to the back of her unwrinkled hand.

"What a pleasure to meet you, Christine, I'm Eddie. And might I say how beautiful you are."

He's all dimples and doe eyes staring at your mother, a true prince charming in his red flannel and jeans. His voice is like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day, it's smooth going down your throat and it warms your belly better than any blanket can.

That warmth is now tingling your body, a frenzy of butterflies flapping around in the walls of your heart. It clearly works on your mother as well but unlike you she doesn't hide it very well.

"You're really the charmer, Eddie." It's flirtatious and alluring, the same voice she put on for every pool boy your father ever hired.

Annoyance and anger floods through you and you know that your eyes would be shining green to anyone with a trained eye.

While she clutches her pearls and eyes Eddie like he's a four course meal, you intervene into the conversation before it can continue.

"Where's daddy? I'd really like for my boyfriend to meet him." You bat your eyelashes like a pageant queen and your arm acts like a python wrapping around Eddie's, making a mark on what is yours.

"Oh you're father's around here somewhere, you know how he is." She dismisses, taking a drink from her glass and swallowing down the golden liquid quickly. "So how long have you and Birdie here been dating?"

"It's going to be two years next month. Isn't that right, honey?" Eddie turns to you and gives you a playful smile.

Looking back at him you hope he can see the misery that hides being your eyes, a white flag of surrender.

Your mother on the other hand doesn't care about your answer, that's why she didn't ask you. She's reading Eddie, trying to see how much she can push your so called boyfriend until she gets what she wants.

"Well that's just wonderful, young love is a beautiful experience. You have to be careful with Birdie here, she's known to leave the nest quickly." It's a jab, a spiteful and mean comment headed right for your gut.

Eddie doesn't miss the way you're lips falter for a second, the flash of hurt in your eyes. It kills him watching you stand there and take all the comments from your mother like stray bullets.

Turning his attention back to your mother, he gives her a smile, one that you would know as a wicked one but to a stranger would seem kind. "I don't think that will be a problem. Birdie knows where her home is."

It's a direct warning, a clear sign to your mother to not mess with you or what is yours. Just him sticking up for you like that makes your stomach twist in excitement, a feeling you've grown so used to over the course of friendship with Eddie.

"Well, I'm glad she finally found her place then." Your mother responds coldly, clearly hearing the bite in his tone. "Why don't you two go find your room and get settled in, rehearsal dinner is in a few."

Before retreating into the large crowd of family, your mother turns back to you in one more attack.

"Oh and Birdie, wear something that will hide that stomach. Don't want anyone to assume you've been knocked up."

Once you've found your room, you all but rush Eddie inside slamming the door behind you. In the quiet safety of your suite, you can relax your shoulders that have been sitting high since you've arrive.

"Jesus Bird, you weren't lying." Eddie says as he flops himself on the queen sized bed.

You don't respond, instead you squeeze your eyes shut and try to calm the heaviness of your breathing. Behind the darkness of your eyes, little twinkles of stars flash from how hard you have them closed, the swooshing of your heart continuing in your ears like angry waves of the sea.

Breathe in. This is temporary. Breathe out. This is not forever. Breathe in. I am safe. Breathe out. I am here.

You repeat this to yourself over and over again, trying to erase the cruel words of your mother and the images of disgusted family member's faces out of your mind. You're not sure how long you've been standing by the door until a hand grasps at your wrist lightly.

"Birdie," Eddie's coax goes unanswered, "Come on, Birdie."

Warm calloused hands travel to the plump of your cheeks, lifting your face up just enough that he can see you. Finally opening your eyes, you're relieved to be looking into the golden whiskey pools of his.

Smoothing his thumb over your cheek he doesn't say anything, just lets your breathing calm down. Here you are, in the nice room behind the shelter of the locked door, and he's here.

Breathe in. It's okay. Breathe out. You're safe. Breathe in. You are here. Breathe out. So is he.

It's enough to let your feet move on the plush white carpeting, while Eddie leads you to the bed with the tug of your arm. Sitting on the plush mattress on crisp linen sheets you're grounded, and with the heat of Eddie sitting next to you and his hand in yours, you're anchored.

The rehearsal dinner goes over well enough, the Irish mule helping with every single speech that's given and every horror story of your childhood that is told. Luckily for you, Vee didn't ask you to be in her bridal party so you didn't have to attend the actual wedding rehearsal, and even better you won't have to deal with her for the real thing tomorrow.

Eddie does great at dinner, he talks to your father who surprisingly likes him, both getting along over their love for vintage cars. Your soon to be brother in law and his groomsmen also get along with Eddie, they laugh and cut up most of the time while clinking beer bottles together. Not to mention every single woman there wanted to get into his pants, swooning at everything he said and giving him the 'fuck me' eyes while doing it.

You hated it, every single minute of it. Like always you were ignored, simply looked over until some story was being told where you were ultimately the joke of. Any time someone asked you what you were doing with your life, you were met with cringing smiles and snickering laughs.

Four separate times your mother commented on your dress, the way it fit, the price value of it, and how it really wasn't a good color on you. All of your sisters friends rolled their eyes and whispered back and forth while staring at you, aunts and uncles acted dumbfounded when you told them that you were a freelance writer for a small music magazine back in Indy, and your cousins made comments about how badly you look since the last time you saw them.

It didn't matter anyway, even if your sister asked how you managed to get a stand up guy like Eddie to agree to be with you, in front of all of the guests. You had to remind yourself that you were there for the free booze and food or whatever the hell Eddie said in the car on the way here.

This wasn't a popularity contest for you, it was simply you being forced to do something against your wishes because your mother said so. You asked yourself why you even listened to her in the first place while letting the brown liquor burn in your stomach.

Why was it so important that you even showed up here? Why did you have to come to the awarding ceremony of favorite kid when you knew you weren't going to win? Why would you even set yourself up for such failure just because your mom said so?

Well, you're answer came when a flushed faced Eddie was laughing with your grandparents at one of the round tables in the corner. His eyes crinkled at the sides and his head was leaned back so you had a clear view of the neck you loved so much.

Then you looked over at your sweet looking grandparents who laughed loudly at whatever was said. Your grandmother had her hands on her cheeks, shaking her head back and forth, and beaming brightly. Your grandfather smiled around his cigar, big round belly jumping with laugher, and his cheeks smooshing up against the frames of his big glasses.

You didn't come here to win a competition. You didn't come here because your mother threatened you within an inch of your life if you didn't. You didn't come here because you thought it would be fun.

You showed up because you wanted to prove to the people who doubted you for so long just how happy you were. You wanted to prove that happiness doesn't come from the amount of money in your account or how many rooms sit in your house. You came here because you wanted to prove that they were wrong, that the grass on the other side of the fence could be green too, and that someone who grew up differently that you could still do amazing things.

Eddie was someone that your father would've had you kicked out over bringing him home in high school. Eddie was the boy your mother would tell you to stay far away from. Eddie was the kind of guy that your sister wouldn't look twice at because of who he was.

But right now, during the beautiful dinner the night before your sister's wedding, your best friend/fake boyfriend has them all wrapped around his guitar calloused finger.

-

Not much has been said between you and him, especially when he was the man of the hour. You're not really complaining though, you're happy that he made a good impression with them. When the night began to settle into your bones and the alcohol started to make you tipsy, you slyly walked up to Eddie and tugged on his sleeve to let him know it was time to go.

On the walk back to the room, you sway slightly with every step you take, balancing on the walls with one hand while the other holds your strappy heels. When Eddie stops and turns to the door of your room, you all but smack into him with clumsy steps.

While he fumbles with key, you're in blissful content with your eyes closed. The kick of the lock and the turn of the handle doesn't even pull you out of your daze, instead you hold your arms out like a mummy and feel around until you find Eddie's clothed back.

You can tell Eddie is laughing by the large breath that passes through his nose and the tell tale sign of him kissing his teeth. Large hands wrap around your wrists, guiding you into the doorway that you can't see.

Your cheeks are warm, the smile on your face is permanent, and the buzzing in your heart makes you feel light on your feet.

"Alright mummy, lets get you into bed." Letting go of his hold on you, you feel him slightly brush past you to close the door. His voice sounds like the way stars look, sparkling and bright, twinkling all around.

You giggle, eyes still shut and your nose scrunched up. "M'not a mummy but I could be if ya want."

Putting your arms out, you lean back and forth on your feet to mimicking what you think is a mummy but looks more like a zombie.

"Baaaaahhhhh, I'm a mummy. Be very afraid." You deepen your voice, dragging the syllables of every word to make them come out slower.

Eddie must be entertained because the sound of a loud raspberry comes from where he stands, the clear sign of him losing the grip on the laugh he'd been holding in.

Cracking one of your eyes open, you hope to find him with rose cheeks and dimples flashing, the look you love so much. Instead you see him, beaming at you without the shine of his canines. It's an admiring smile, one where your eyes go all gooey and your smile is simple yet dipped with so much love.

Opening your eyes all the way, you let your arms down slowly to rest by your sides, a meek look painting your face.

"Did I do good?" You ask, even though you didn't really want his opinion.

"I think you're perfect." It comes out even, smooth like the hilltops in December covered in a layer of the purest snow.

The two of you sit there for a while, soaking up the glow of each other and letting it sink into your souls. For a moment you wonder if he feels it too, the spark that you feel whenever he's around. You wonder if he feels like crying simply because he loves you that much. You wonder if he wishes this whole dating thing wasn't just a lie and that it was true, the same way you wish it was.

Once the moment ends for him, he's clearing his throat to clear any lovesick daze that's left. "I guess we better head to bed, huh?"

Scratching at the back of his neck, you try with everything in your power to not look down where his turtle neck rode up, where the patch of mouth watering hair trails from his belly button to underneath the waist of his pants.

A part of you wishes you stuck it out longer, stayed in your seat at the dinner table just to see him in his outfit longer. He asked you to help him pick it out this morning and when you think back to it, you get flustered with thinking how domesticated it felt. Making him try on different shirts and jumping for joy when he walked out of the bathroom wearing a turtleneck he swore he'd never wear. The khakis you pulled out of his suitcase was the cause of so much laughter and the pink tinge that sat on the rounds of his cheeks.

God, he looked so good, especially with his hair pulled back and the dangled earring that sat in his ear, but now it would all be a memory for you to file away in the back of your brain.

Eddie had already started taking off his dress shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed bent over and messing with the knots that kept the laces together.

The smile that once held your lips high and proud, now weigh down in a sad frown. Even after the success of the dinner and proving everyone wrong, you are now brought back to the reality of what you and Eddie were. Just friends.

"Since I'm a gentleman and I can't see to get these shoes untied, I'll let you shower first." His voice comes out strained from how hard he pulls on the knotted strings.

You don't say anything, quietly nodding your head before shuffling over to your suitcase that sits by the closet. Grabbing a sleepshirt and some shorts, you go to move around the lanky man that can't get his shoes off no matter how hard he tries.

Without a sound, you kneel in front of him, placing your clothes somewhere off to the side. Taking his calf in your hand, you place his foot on your thigh. Delicately, you remove the first shoe and then the next.

"Y'didn't have to do that." It's quiet but not enough to be a whisper, still you shrug.

"I didn't but I wanted to." It seems so simple when you say it, even though deep down inside you wanted that last piece of your fantasy before it goes away for the rest of the night.

"Will you help me with my dress?" You ask him, standing on your feet and turning so that the golden zipper is facing him.

In the mirrored closet door you can see him and how he hesitates for a moment, shaky hands lingering in the air before they close in on the gold slider.

The sound of the metal teeth unlatching from one another fills the room, clouding the unrhythmic beat of your heart. You try to remember the feeling of him on the sacred part of your skin, the way his light touch tickles you and makes goosebumps rise. You want to memorize it like your favorite song, so that when you leave this place and the fake nature of this whole thing goes away, you still have something to think about on those bad days.

It ends too soon for your liking, his hands retracting right back to the sides of his body like a measuring tape. With the fuzz of your tipsy has now wore off but the sting of everything still remains.

Giving him a small smile and muttering a thank you, you hide in the bathroom where the sound of running water hides the muffled cries that leave your throat.

Waking up felt more painful than any hangover you've ever had. The pain of Eddie's bare back facing you was heartbreaking. You force yourself not connect the freckles that litter his skin or trace your fingers along his spine and shoulder blades.

It's a sight you've seen plenty of times and sharing a bed is something you've done more than enough that you're not uncomfortable. Yet your heart squeezes, wrapping itself up in the tightest loop so that it hurts to even breathe.

The sound of his soft snores only makes it worse, imagining what he dreams about and if it's you.

You use all of the willpower that's left in your body, marching over to the small kitchenette that sits in the corner of the giant room. Pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you try to focus on the swirl of dark liquid mixing with the coffee creamer and how they mix together so perfectly. Without much of a peep, you slide the glass doors that lead out to the balcony and sit down in one of the plush chairs.

You look out over the mountains of colors, tracing over the lines of trees that go on for miles. Although pretentious, you think Veronica did an excellent job and choosing this location.

Sipping on the hot beverage, you watch the clouds in the blue sky go by, wondering what it would've been like if your sister asked you to be a bridesmaid. You imagine that the two of you would've actually gotten along and maybe even laughed together. You envision what it would've been like to have your mother compliment you in your gown and how it would feel to take a picture with your family where all the smiles were real.

Tears begin to burn the back of your eyes, falling rapidly like a fall rainstorm. The skin of your cheeks burn slightly from the heated trails of water that fall. You're sad and incredibly so. Within the first twenty four hours of being here, you remember how much of an outsider you really are to these people.

Even with the company of Eddie, someone that truly loves you, you still can't help but feel so fucking lonely. To put on the mask you wore for many year back on and pretend that the man standing next to you is yours to claim is harder than any other time you had to do it.

This time you weren't really faking it, the love that you showed to him, the happiness you felt with him was real, just the titles weren't. With the cool fall chill, your coffee has gone cold but your tears keep coming.

"You made yourself a cup of coffee but not one for me, and this is how I find out? That's just mean." Eddie's curly hair pokes out from the small gap in the sliding back door that he's created.

His eyes are squinted from the harshness of the morning sun but his cheeky smile is forever unwavering. Sliding a space big enough for him to go through, he stalks out onto the small space in his plaid pajama pants and a hoodie he must've thrown on.

Trying your best to cover up that you've been crying, you wipe the back of your hand across your cheeks, but Eddie still catches your movements.

Instead of embarrassing you, he sits down in the chair across from you and looks out over the balcony.

"You okay?" It's a simple enough question, one that you can answer with one word and he wouldn't pry for more information to not overwhelm you.

Sniffling, you shake your head yes and then move your gaze to where his is. "No, yeah, m'good. The view really does something for me." You say, chuckling just a bit at your own joke.

Eddie also laughs, only this time it's not as genuine as it usually is, just a hard exhale through his nose.

"Yeah, sure does." He agrees, letting his eyes follow the red and orange of the tree tops.

A calm silence falls over you two, only the sounds of the birds that fly and the ruffle of the leaves can be heard from where you sit. It's peaceful.

"You know, I really thought this weekend would be different." It comes out of your mouth as easy as the breeze that blows. Still your eyes stay trained out in front of you and past the mountains of trees.

Eddie doesn't respond but the hole that he burns through the side of your head with his eyes tell you he's listening.

"When I was little, I used to imagine the day Vee got married. I would fantasize that maybe one day we could be close enough that I could enjoy this day with her and we could be sisters for once." You exhale an uneven breath, moving your sights to the cup that still sits in your hand.

"I just wanted all of us to be a family for once. I wanted my mom to actually act like she liked me, for my dad to say that for once he was proud of who I was, and for Veronica, I just wanted her to say she's happy that I'm her little sister."

Just like that, every single thing you've carried since you were little is now out in the open, whipping around in the wind like the dead leaves. Even with the amount of burden that's been lifted, the pain still remains the same. It all hurts, stabbing you over and over again in the scars that you worked so hard to patch up.

Eddie doesn't say anything and for a moment you don't think he'll say anything at all. You watch him pull out the pack of cigarettes he had nestled in his pocket and place one in between his pretty pink lips.

Another second goes by and he's flicking the wheel of his lighter, shielding the flame away from the wind so he can light it. When the end of the smoke burns red, he takes a big inhale and then lets the cloud of smoke out.

"I know what I say won't matter," He starts before taking another drag of his smoke, "But these people don't fucking mean anything."

"They're you're family and I get that but they don't fucking deserve you, they never have. A fake boyfriend, a new haircut, or a cool job shouldn't define their love for you. They're shitty people who were blessed with an amazing person and they didn't even realize it."

Eddie looks at you the same way he speaks, with nothing but truth. You let the words settle in your mind, letting them soak in, in case you forget.

The tears that once ceased start to flow again, except this time it's from relief. It feels good that someone else sees your worth, to know someone actually holds value to you.

"It kills me that they treat you the way they do, that they can say all those things without batting an eye. I know why you asked me to come here and I know I have a job to do, but man do I want to rip them all a new asshole."

Although he speaks with fire behind the words, you have to laugh from the thought of the actions. The moment you giggle, his own smile forms.

"I hope you know that I love you and when everything is done and over with, we'll give them the bird." To make his point, Eddie raises his middle finger high into the sky.

Repeating his actions, you hold your own finger to the sky and smile happily while doing it.

Letting his arm fall back down into place, he pats the tops of your thighs and stands from the chair.

"That's my girl, now let's get ready for an open bar and free booze." Holding his open palm to you, he helps you up.

The wedding reception was what you thought it would be, drawn out and boring. The only saving grace of the whole thing was Eddie's commentary, the scruff on his face tickling you every time he leaned close to your ear.

A lot of the things he was saying was probably just to make you feel better but you did have to agree, the dress Veronica picked out was a bad rip off of Princess Diana's and it shouldn't have seen broad daylight.

You did however get choked up when the vowels started, not because you were happy with your sister but because you wish that were you and Eddie up there instead.

All and all it was okay, even though one of your brother in law's aunt's wore a hat so big you couldn't see past it most of the time.

The wedding reception though was beautiful. The décor of the manner looked exquisite against the maroon coloring of all the bridesmaids dresses. The tables had beautiful bouquets sitting in the middle and you can't help but laugh imagining your father cutting a check for all of them.

To much of yours and Eddie's delight, there is an open bar that is stacked high with pricey alcohol. Again you laugh thinking about your father having to pay the tab, which you and Eddie will be happy to run up.

So far this is the most the two of you had fun, both laughing and enjoying the company that's around you. The table you've been stuck at is also occupied by other family rejects that enjoy the titles they've been given.

Eddie's hand hasn't left your thigh, which you're more than happy about, and every so often he flexes his fingers squeezing the meaty flesh.

You feel good, the boost from the drinks and the feeling of your best friend makes you bloom like a flower in the spring. You watch as he talks to the people at your table and how his hand moves with enthusiasm. You trace the muscles in his neck and watch his adam's apple bob up and down when he speaks. Your chin sits in the palm of your hand as you watch him be himself like he always is.

He's so beautiful, he always has been, and in this moment he gets to be yours. You don't have to think about what anyone else thinks, you don't have to question how the two of you look from another's perception, because you know that your heart bleeds for him and it always will.

Eddie's your home, he's your best friend, and he's your person. You think back to what he said to you this morning and how he called you a blessing but you think he's wrong. Eddie is the true blessing. He's sweet, he's smart, and he's so fucking caring it's disgusting. Behind all the jagged features and dark clothes, he's nothing but a giant teddy bear that wears his heart on his sleeve.

"Birdie." He smiles at you, all goo and mush it makes your heart skip.

You hum in response, still sitting in the same position, looking at him as if he were a painting.

"You wanna dance?" He blushes, embarrassed by the request and you feel like you're back in junior high.

"You, Eddie Munson hate dancing." You say, scrunching your nose cutely.

Laughing loudly, he nods, "Yeah, I know, but I'd dance with you."

That breaks you out of your daze, breath catching in your throat. "O-oh, yeah. I'll um dance."

Again he stands, holding a palm out to you so he can help you up. Leaning you to the dance floor, you can't help but feel jittery despite the wine that you've consumed.

Once out on the floor, he pulls you into his chest. Strong hands grip your waist through the silk fabric of your red dress and you desperately try to fight the need that rises in your guy.

You stand stiff, unsure of what to do with yourself and Eddie's quick to help you, placing your hands around his neck where they lay contently.

He looks good tonight, even better than last night, and you hate how it makes butterflies flap around in your stomach. The black button up shirt sits nicely on his torso, wrapping his arms so deliciously you want to take a bite out of them. The black slacks he wears fit nicely and you wonder if he had them tailored and you have to ignore the want to undo the sleek black belt with a bright golden buckle that holds them up. Again his hair sits in a low bun and that silver chain peeks out at you from underneath his collar.

"I can't believe you asked me to dance to Ed Sheeran." You say breathlessly, still nervous with being this close to him.

Eddie snorts, lopsided smile forming on his lips. "What, a guy can't like Ed Sheeran and metal? That's gatekeeping, sweetheart." He teases.

Rolling your eyes, you try to ignore that tingle that settles in your cheeks. "Whatever you say, Munson."

"I'm serious, Thinking Out Loud was in my top ten last year." The two of you hold eye contact until you can't take it anymore, both bursting into laughter at his admission.

"That's something you shouldn’t repeat." You sputter at him and he laughs even harder.

"Hey, I like this song, okay?" He defends, still swaying back and forth with you.

Raising your hands in defense, you pull back on your clowning for the sake of your friend. Placing your arms back around his neck, you lean your head on his chest and try to hear the beat of his heart.

The scent of him floods your nose, cologne and smoke, whiskey and linen, and you wish you could bottle it to keep forever.

"Why do you like this song anyway? It's kind of basic." You mutter at him.

His shoulders lift in a shrug, and he takes a moment to respond. "Honestly, I like it cause it reminds me of you."

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and you remove your head to look up at him.

"Wha'do you mean?" You mumble, eyes searching his for some sort of answer.

Looking bashful again, red tints his cheeks and ears in a blush. Sticking his tongue out to wet his lips, he hesitantly answers.

"I always felt like he said everything I couldn't, ya know? Everything I ever wanted to say to you, he put in a song."

It feels like the whole world stops, that time freezes and it's just the two of you. You're in shock and for some reason you can't wrap your head around anything he's saying.

"What?" You say harshly and again he shrugs, shying away from your burning focus on him.

"Reminds me of you and everything I ever felt about you. I always wanted to call you mine but if you hadn't noticed, I'm a chicken shit."

You don't say anything, instead you stare at him with your mouth wide open. Eddie starts to loose his cool, frantically flexing his fingers against the material of your dress, looking around at anything but you.

"Sorry, I - shit, I really fucked this up," He doesn't get to finish his sputtering apology because you quickly smash your lips into his.

His lips taste like brown liquor and chapstick, like love and forever, and you can't believe you waited this long to experience it. Two heart sync as one, two people fall together like the leaves outside, and anxieties are finally laid to rest.

You hate that you pull away first but the need for air is too much. Eddie bends enough so that his forehead leans on yours, both looking into each other eyes living in the moment of your blissed out hearts.

"Tell me if I'm being too forward but do you wanna get out of here?" He flirts and you respond simply by pecking his lips once more.

"Thought you'd never ask."

thank you all for reading!!! love you guys <3

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