#GOD i will literally kill someone if tumblr decides to fuck the posting of this up

[starandcloud]

42!Miles Headcannons

I am on a kick of Spiderverse, so Tumblr gets it-

Miles has separation anxiety with you, which got a lot worse when you started dating, him being the prowler and all

He cannot handle the sound of guns, it makes his anxiety race.

He'd never admit it but he genuinely likes your company, like he'll deny it then go out of his way to find stupid reasons to hang out with you. Which his mom plays into. Miles: Aye, Idiota. Come over. My mom misses you. Y/N: Ooookay? Rio, hugging Y/N: Y/N I've missed you, how've you been? Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating enough? Y/N, laughing: I'm okay Mrs. Morales, thank you for worrying about me though Miles: *Absolutely smitten by how you interact with his mom*

Leaves you gits randomly, like if he's out on a job with his uncle and he sees something he knows you'll like he'll swipe it (and leave money) and either leave it on your desk or put it on your window sill. You've yet to catch him

He HAS stopped and watched you sleep when he left you a gift, not in creepy way more like a "God... They're so perfect..." His eyes, hidden behind his lil mask, softened on you. He only left because the hallway light flicked on and he panicked. That was the loudest he had ever fled from somewhere, he didn't even close your window.

He is really artistic too, he has dozens of sketches of you in his sketchbook. You're his favorite thing to draw

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Miles wanting to kill someone for you. But he would only think it, he'd never actually act on those thoughts. He couldn't bear the weight of taking a life, even if it was for you. He's a vigilante, remember

As terrifying as he seems, Miles is a HUGE baby when it comes to getting hurt. He'll act like he's fine, but when he's with his Uncle or Mom he cries. Like ugly cries, he's a huge baby-

Has Trypanophobia (The Fear of Needles), hates the sight of them and cannot handle it when he has to get shots

When he cannot handle anything anymore he goes to his dad's Mural and just sits there, he doesn't talk or make any noise. He just sits against the brick, sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't but he's always there late at night so no one really sees him

He doesn't talk to anyone he actually has a crush on, like he's flirty as hell with everyone but the person he actually likes he's really blunt and distant. Like a dumbass

I can 100% see Miles being Omni, like he could like anyone as long as he's close to them

We all know Miles' sleep schedule is FUCKED, he's a Vigilante, he doesn't get to sleep much due to everything being at night. But he still gets good grades and sleeps when he can

This is literally one of his posts on Twitter and you CANNOT tell me otherwise-

He isn't really bothered by people who're taller than him, or people who are a few inches shorter. But if you're below his chin he's wary, he's heard enough from Ganke not to mess with people that short. "They have to climb to get things, I don't wanna mess with someone who climbs counters.

I can see him being taller than 1610!Miles, cause 1610!Miles is 5'8" so I can see 42!Miles being anywhere from 5'9 to 5'10". Like it's not a noticeable difference if you're not paying attention, ya know?

Miles does Photography, but it's more of a hobby. He doesn't plan on turning it into a career, but he does it when he's got the chance, his posts look like this

Bubbly_Rose and Vanilla.Coffee.Addict. Are both his mom, different accounts to support her son. Best mom 100%

Miles has dozens of playlists on spotify, most of which are for his friends and family.

Cat person but has a german shepard named Luna

Had dreads ONCE and decided he hated them, so he stuck to his braids

Miles can cook, really really well. His mom and him used to bond through cooking and now it's something he does when he's stressed or upset

Depending on how tired Miles is, is how he sleeps. If he's just a lil sleepy, his legs are kinda bent and his arms are by his head, HOWEVER, if it was after REALLY tiring job with his uncle he kinda just falls onto his bed and sleeps like that

He usually doesn't go to anyone for comfort and comforts himself unless it's really bad then he goes to his mom or (if he really REALLY trusts them) his significant other

Miles has a tendency to flinch/move away from any form of touch that's not from his mother. He gets pins and needles if he's not expecting a touch and it is almost painful, I wouldn't say he's touch-starved but with his mom working so much it's easy to see that he would be

The one thing that brings Miles' to tears is watching his mom work herself to the bone and never being able to take a break. It makes him so mad that he can't help her, without it being obvious, that it reduces him to tears

He cries when he's mad

He hates it when people go through his things or move them. He has everything in a place, everything has to be perfect. Major OCD when it comes to his room, it's his space and he wants it perfectly clean

Miles takes really good care of himself, he keeps himself in shape (outside of being the Prowler) and makes sure to eat and hydrate right

Miles. Is. A. Huge. Softie for little kids. He acts like he can't stand them but the minute he's flashed a toothy smile from a little kid, he can't help but smile back

He considers a few people who aren't family, his family like Ganke

His idea of "A Perfect Vacation" is going anywhere with his mom and Uncle. It could literally be a trip to his Paternal Grandmother's house, and as long as his mom isn't working he is perfectly content

Miles tends to bite his nails and chew on his lips when he's nervous

By FAR the strangest thing Miles has ever seen was one of his classmates straight up touching their eyeball, that happened when he was 13 and it still freaks him out

Miles accepts advice relatively well, he doesn't show it but he does

He hates most pictures, but there was a few that his version Gwen took of him.

He is horrible at talking to someone he's got a crush on, like worse than 1610!Miles ;-;

Miles wakes up before his mom, when she's home, and makes her breakfast, he eats, showers, and goes to school, comes home, does his homework, goes to his boxing class (curtesy of Uncle Aaron), and depending on the day either goes on a job or goes to sleep

He has a few scars on his face from one of the first few jobs he was on when he wasn't far enough away from a bomb when it went off

Ocra. He CANNOT with the texture of it.

He loves stormy weather, its relaxing to him

He loves Fall and winter, the crisp air makes him smile

As a way to waste time, he goes to the gym or draws

When Miles wakes up from a nightmare, he kinda just lays there until he puts his headphones on and falls asleep to whatever song he's listening to

Miles collects little doo-dads from the street, it gives him something to fidget with

Miles knows English, Spanish, and French. He had to take a second language class and he COULDN'T take Spanish, so he's relatively fluent in French

Miles is the type of person to give someone the tightest most affection hugs, like even if he's just friends with the person. Hugs are like "I love you"s for Miles, they're sparing things from him

If Miles had three wishes from a genie he'd wish for: 1. His mother to either be paid more or for her to work less 2. His city to have less issues 3. To talk to his dad again

CROSSOVER: Miles is a gryffindor, with a Kingfisher Patronus and an 11.25 in Applewood wand with Unicorn hair ((I don't support J.K. Rowling))

Miles saw you in his clothes once and it MELTED him, he physically leaned against the wall and smiled stupidly

If you don't typically wear glasses (despite needing them, like my dumbass) and you wear them around Miles. The first time he saw you in them, he was distracted enough he walked into a wall.

Miles will protest being called cheesy things likes "Babydoll", "Pumpkin" "Sweets", "Bubba", "Light of My Life", "Tater Tot" (this happened ONCE, "Sunshine", "Dumpling", "Bambie", and "Babyface". He genuinely loves it when you call him that. Specifically: Babydoll, Pumpkin, and Sunshine. He still likes the other ones but loves those more.

#earth 42 miles morales #atsv #atsv drabble #beyond the spiderverse #miles morales #twins au #the prowler #atsv prowler #miles morales prowler #prowler miles #miles morales headcanons #earth 42 miles morales headcanons #miles morales earth 42 #miles g morales

[virusinfected-memes]

TUMBLR TEXT POST SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 2 ;

75 starters. CW: blood mention, cussing, death. Starters come from various text posts floating around Tumblr. The only thing changed for this post was adding capitalization and punctuation. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! [PART 1]

“Academia is cool and sexy until I’m expected to work.”

“An anime with more than a hundred episodes is a bigger commitment than marriage.”

“Anyone who believes all water tastes the same is no acquaintance of mine.”

“Anyway, that’s every reported eyewitness account of Mothman through ‘68, and that’s just in West Virginia! Haha, but enough about me. Let’s hear about your top five cryptids!”

“Aside from being the worst person alive, I am literally perfect.”

“At the end of the day, I’m just a girl who loves her bed.”

“Being equally obsessed with each other sounds hot to me.”

“Being good doesn’t get you anything.”

“Be the worst you can be.”

“But do aliens believe in me?”

“Don’t let anyone dehumanize you. Dehumanize yourself. Be the creeping eldritch horror you’ve always longed to be. Rain furious vengeance down upon those who would unmake you.”

“Do something today that would’ve gotten you burnt at the stake four hundred years ago.”

“Do you ever just want someone to come over and sit on the floor with you for a few hours?”

“Do you ever wanna listen to music, but every song is just not the right song?

“Feeling safe around someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy.”

“Flirting is childish. We’re grown. Just tell the person you like that you see God in their eyes.”

“Friendly reminder that the age of technology is coming to an end and a new age of blood magic and dark rituals will take its place.”

“Friendship is temporary. Blood pacts are forever.”

“Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to live in a Victorian estate and be the most feared widow in the village.”

“Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole.”

“Having a body causes me so much agony. I wish I was just a floating entity with no physical form.”

“How do I overthink so much and still make the wrong decision?”

““I can fix him!” You can’t even fix your sleep schedule, bestie.”

“I don’t care if your body is a temple. Call me when it’s been closed down and taken over by Spirit Halloween.”

“I don’t know about soulmates, but those people who eat parts of the food or candy that you don’t like and you do the same for them... We’ve lived a hundred lifetimes together, probably.”

“I don’t think we can romanticize our way out of this one, boys.”

“If you see me in the streets, just know that my mind is in the void. I’m physically alive, but mentally checked out.”

“I guess we all learned a valuable lesson. Except for me. I wasn’t paying attention and was asleep for most of the time.”

“I hate when people ask what I would do in their situation because nine times out of ten, I would literally never be in that situation in the first place.”

“I hope manners is the next cool trend.”

“I just love sleep so much. Like, you just close your eyes and you’re gone, bitch. Brain logged the fuck off. Powerful.”

“I just realized there’s, like, a hundred new Pokémon coming this year, give or take, and I have to decide what personal memories and details about friends to forget in order to make room for them all.”

“I like my women like I like my woods. Haunted and could kill me at any moment.”

“I like to fuck around and waste time at least six to ten hours a day, and let me tell you, that puts some pressure on your schedule. You have no idea how busy I am.”

“I love to learn. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t like to remember.”

“I love when I ‘make a mental note’ of something. It’s gone within twenty seconds.”

“I’m not a religious person, but I do sometimes think God made you for me.”

“I’m not playing hard to get. I genuinely don’t know how to talk.”

“I’m wearing dark glasses today because I’m seeing the future, and the future is looking very bright.”

“I think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way. Really, it’s so cute.”

“I think making sense is optional. Sometimes I just be talking.”

“I think the meaning of life is eating good food in the company of people you love.”

“It’s because I’m pretty, that’s why I have problems.”

“It’s crazy how I’m just some person.”

"It seems you are in love with your computer.”

“It’s not rude to interrupt someone to point out a dog. It’s actually more polite because then they don’t miss out on the dog.”

“I will never elaborate because I have no idea what I just said.”

“Live, laugh, love? Nah. Languish, lament, lay down.”

“Michael Myers taught me a valuable life lesson. Don’t worry about how fast everyone around you is moving. If you’re determined, just move at your own pace and you’ll kill shit every time. Thanks, Mike.”

“Moving to the forest to eat leaves and lie in the dirt. Insurance companies can’t deny me this.”

“Okay, bored of being alone now. Ready to get married.”

“Okay, hear me out... What if—now bear with me—we held hands? Maybe even kiss a little? Hugs would be nice—”

“People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about. Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.”

“People who fall asleep right away freak me out. Don’t you bitches have thoughts?”

“Really starting to understand old people these days. I love letters. Love packages. Terrified of my email inbox.”

“Someone take me out. Either in the assassination way or in the date way.”

“Sorry for being so sexy and having the best taste in literature. As if I asked for it.”

“Sorry I called you a fucking idiot. I was trying to flirt.”

“So what if I love you? Shut up.”

“The fact that I have to be in the ‘right headspace’ to do even the simplest tasks is absolutely humiliating.”

“The only difference between me and a medieval peasant is that I can make a Spotify playlist to express my feelings.”

“The only reason I haven’t gone insane is because I romanticize everything.”

“There should be a dating app where you talk to people who borrowed the same books from the library.”

“There’s something inherently holy about kitchens.”

“Tired of being a person. Would much rather be an unidentifiable and nebulous entity that lives in the woods and may or may not be an omen of misfortune to come.”

“Wanna haunt the neighborhood with me tonight?”

“Well, I used to be attracted to people, but now I’m exclusively attracted to abstract art and the concept of death.”

“What is the logic behind naps leaving you with a weird taste in your mouth? I wasn’t eating, I was sleeping. It’s the spiders, isn’t it?”

“Winnie the Pooh didn’t rock crop tops our whole childhood to watch us become unconfident about our bodies.”

“Yes, I’m dramatic! What did you expect? I read classic literature for fun.”

“You’d look prettier under six feet of dirt.”

“You don’t always need to talk. Like, it’s good to shut the fuck up sometimes. I love not talking.”

“You gotta walk into rooms like God sent you.”

“You’re beautiful, but you’re empty. No one could die for you.”

“You wanna know what’s annoying me right now? It’s me. I am annoying the goddamn shit out of myself.”

#ask meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starters #tumblr #* mine

[runningw-thewolves]

Stray Kids X Fenrir Post (LONG POST)

(Cause why the Hell not?)

Today I found out that 1) someone made a Fenrir based tattoo sleeve design for Bang Chan and 2) not only has Bang Chan seen it, he has stated he might possibly get it. Now, I am a STAY, a Norse Pagan and a follower of Fenrir. I think you can figure out what my brain was doing processing all this.

(Also; THERE HAS BEEN HINTS TO NORSE MYTHOLOGY IN STRAY KIDS MUSIC VIDEOS!? STAY, do a wolf some assistance and pinpoint me to the videos and moments cause I NEED MY STRAY KIDS NORSE/VIKING CONTENT. Anyways...)

I am very Autistic when it comes to several of my favourite things coming together and creating a *chef's kiss* moment. This is no exception. It's why INK are my favourite band (metal, Emo and horror together? YES PLEASE) and now I have Stray Kids, Norse mythology AND LITERALLY MY FUCKING RELIGION? Holy fuck! *insert brain melt moment from Indiana Jones here*

So, I figured; let's talk about some of Stray Kids past works and Fenrir at the same time. Yep, a Stray Kids Fenrir themed playlist in the format of a Tumblr post by someone with Autism currently losing their damn mind.

Before we begin, let's get everyone acquainted who may be unfamiliar.

The Binding of Fenrir

'The Binding of Fenrir' is arguably the most famous tale involving Fenrir. Fenrir is the eldest child to Loki and Angrboda, his younger siblings being the Midgard Serpent, Jormungandr (who has beef with Thor, to keep it brief) and the future death Goddess, ruler and caretaker of the dead and arguably an important figure in Baldur's tragedy, Hel (or Hela).

Why was Odin interested in Fenrir? For one simple reason; he had been told a prophecy where a large and powerful wolf would kill him. I should point out this part of Odin and Fenrir's story is a very medieval trope of the paranoid king and his son destined to kill him. This case is no different; the downfall of the king is because of his own paranoia. Everything he does to try and prevent his downfall only solidifies it into existence. It's a common belief among many of us Heathens that Fenrir might have never considered going after Odin if Odin had just left Fenrir alone the whole time. Hell, there was the distinct possibility that Fenrir could've likely been an ally to Odin and the Aesir if it weren't for their fear and paranoia.

So, how does Fenrir get bound? Odin and a few others ride to the Iron Wood, the home of the Jotunn and Chieftess of the Chieftains of the Iron Wood, Angrboda, and forcefully take her children from her. Jormungandr strikes and either Odin or Thor (heavily debated) throws Jormungandr into the oceans of Midgard. Hel is immediately exiled from Asgard and sent to what is often dubbed 'Helheim'. Fenrir was kept in Asgard, primarily to keep an eye on him. He was scorned and mocked and treated with fear by the Gods, and no one dare approach him to feed him. Aside from one God; Tyr, the God of Justice. (Also a God of War himself but ssh.) Tyr befriended the young wolf and fed him.

Naturally, Fenrir grew. And very quickly. He soon domineered over the buildings of Asgard and the Gods grew paranoid of his strength and size. It was then decided for him to be bound. They tried on three separate occasions, telling Fenrir it was a game. The first time was some normal, ordinary chains. Fenrir broke those with a single movement of his paw. The second was a reinforced chain. These were a little tougher but they too were shattered. The Gods then got in contact with the Dwarves to create for them a special chain, named Gleipnir. This chain was presented to Fenrir, and its appearance - similar to that of a ribbon or thread - immediately made Fenrir suspicious. He only agreed to have himself bound if one person were to lose their hand should they go back on their word. Tyr was the one who offered (this is a HUGE deal, as Tyr is basically associated with business transactions, oaths and the likes. Loki even goes on to call this out in the poem 'Lokasenna' (Loki's Flyting)). Naturally, Fenrir is bound, he can't break free, Tyr loses an arm. Fenrir snaps at the laughing Gods' ankles and Odin shoves a sword through Fenrir's jaws. Fenrir will only be freed by the violent thrashing of his brother come Ragnarok, to which Fenrir will kill Odin. Some sources also say Fenrir eats the sun and moon, however this is a tricky subject as that act is often attested to two other wolves. There's plenty of theories but for this post, they are irrelevant.

Stray Kids Everywhere All Around The World

Stray Kids first became known by a survival TV show in late 2017. At the time, there was nine members. (For the sake of avoiding drama and cause the matter is done, I will be talking about Woojin but sticking to the facts. Everything from the drama was false (which I learned the hard way and am still trying to learn from); do not attempt to bring up the controversy in reblogs or replies or I will block you.) The members included (in order, starting with team leader then oldest to youngest); Bang Chan, Kim Woojin, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung, Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin, and Yang Jeongin. The group would debut in 2018 with the track "District 9". Upon debut, most of the members would continue using their names except for the following; Minho (would debut as Lee Know), Jisung (would debut as Han) and Jeongin (would debut as I.N.). Kim Woojin left the group in late 2019 around the time of the "Double Knot"/"Levanter" promotions. (Hence forth, Woojin is irrelevant. This is where we shall leave any mention of Woojin hence forth.

Stray Kids would go on to become a pretty big deal, even winning the competition TV show 'Kingdom' (let's not go over the whole MAMA bullshit, that would take a whole tray of paracetamol to get through), leading to the band being noticed by Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. In the past year, several of the members have appeared or modeled for various designer brands (ignoring the politics of this for now; good on them for their success however).

Bang Chan and Fenrir's Connection

As was mentioned in the TikTok I linked earlier, Bang Chan is the member of the group who was a trainee for the longest amount of time. Chan had been training under JYP Entertainment for seven years by the time of the pre-debut TV show. Chan has mentioned several times in the past the anger and sadness he felt, connecting with other trainees only for them to leave (either from being fired, changing career paths or debuting before him - this was especially noted to be the case with groups TWICE and GOT7, where Chan is friends with members of the groups and even shared a dorm room with members of GOT7). It's not hard to imagine the amount of pressure Chan was under to debut on the survival show. Or the amount of pressure he put on himself and the rest of Stray Kids. This amount of pressure would rear its head when members Lee Know and Felix were eliminated (but would be brought back later and debut with the group). A clip from Felix's elimination gives a glimpse into how hard Chan was on himself.

I will not speculate Chan's thoughts or feelings, but if you dig into it, you can come to some conclusions quickly based on the surrounding context and what we know about Chan and Felix's friendship post-debut.

Fenrir is bound and thus cannot be free to show his true strength and power, held back by the Gods for fear of what or who he could be. In essence, some could argue that this is what made Fenrir stronger and the wolf we know today but that comes with the ridiculous amount of pain and torture the wolf felt. Sure, he became stronger, but at what cost? I would say this is the same question to consider when talking about Chan and Fenrir. Sure, Chan is a wise and strong leader now, but what was the cost? He's made it clear that at one point before debut (and other members have backed this up), he actively avoided connecting with people cause of how many friendships he watched crumble for one reason or another. There's even a clip from a livestream where Chan was noticeably angry with staff and you can see the visible fear and awkwardness from the other members. Again, will not speculate on what any of it could mean, but it does point to something Fenrir and Chan may also have in common. When they are angry, they are

PISSED.

However, it's also important to keep in mind the sort of things Fenrir teaches and encourages from a Norse Pagan/Heathen perspective, so...

Fenrir in Norse Spirituality

A common name attributed to Fenrir is "breaker of chains". When we're talking about what this means from a spiritual standpoint, it means to free yourself from your past, free yourself from expectations or demands of others that holds you down and to let go and live free. For many, this can meaning learning how to cope with mental illness and trauma, learning how to manage (not control) one's anger, how to fuel emotions into actions and remain within the present and not think about the past or the future.

I've also heard many people describe Fenrir as a special kind of 'military boot camp' strict. This is the best way I can describe it; imagine, if you will, that you are a house. Fenrir is the property surveyor (the person who checks houses for faults). Fenrir will go around and tell you everything that isn't sturdy, that has cracks or other faults. Not out of malice, but because if you don't fix this, all it takes is one bad day and your self-worth comes crashing to the ground. Fenrir will even go out of his way to test these parts of yourself, again not out of malice but to make sure you can withstand it. Going back to the house metaphor; imagine Fenrir pointed out your foundations were made with weak cement, so you redo the foundations. Fenrir isn't convinced until he can push into it or stand on it and find it can withstand the weight. (This doesn't go into how our emotions fluctuate daily, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.)

Fenrir is also oftentimes seen as an example of justified rage. The rage of youth being mocked by their elders for simply being young. The rage Black people feel when another officer shoots yet another unarmed Black person. The rage LGBTQIA+ people feel when one of their own is killed or assaulted for simply being in love or expressing who they are. The rage women feel when men try to take advantage of or gaslight them into accepting lower. The rage of Indigenous people watching as their lands get bombed, farmed, and in general colonized and ripped of all its worth until nothing remains.

With all these factors in mind, let's finally get to the meet of this. The Stray Kids songs one (like myself) can associate with Fenrir. I will include lyrics, and you're more than welcome to reply or reblog with songs I may have missed. So, without further ado; let's get cracking! (Please note I will be using OT8 songs primarily for this post, again to avoid drama or anyone dogpiling about the controversy.)

'Placebo' (3RACHA original; 2017, Stray Kids original; 2018, re-recorded; 2021.)

"The positive belief that will even heal my wounds Keep going, the Placebo that works on me Honestly, there’s no need to be negative Trust myself, throw away those extra thoughts"

'Placebo' is a song essentially about relying on yourself to get through your challenges, while acknowledging what is currently making you feel weak. The fear and worry about wondering if you will actually make it, but telling yourself you can despite your worries, being your own friends in your darkest moments. Felix's verse I think is almost entirely applicable to Fenrir (Felix even says "drop these rusty chains" - remember, Fenrir was first bound by chains before Gleipnir.)

"Miroh" (original; 2019, re-recorded; 2020)

"Poison, trap, toadstool you can set them up I'll survive in the end, whatever it takes I know your traps, you set them up And I stomp on them tougher There's only one answer, you just have to open it"

"Miroh" (Korean word for 'maze') is an EDM-style song about persevering through the challenges you face, head held high, trusting your instincts and knowing that one way or another you have prepared for this moment and you will make it out the other side. The chorus starts with a line explaining that the narrator (Stray Kids) decided to go into the city (the challenges) themselves and know what is coming, are ready for it and know they can make it through the trial. The song also uses various animal sound effects, including a tiger's roar in the chorus, a hawk's caw and a bird-filled jungle soundscape. (Fenrir is often reported to be associated with swamps and mountains, so the inclusion of wild animal noises fits perfectly here.)

'Red Lights' (2021)

"No matter how hard I try to escape, there's no answer Until I fall asleep in the sun, even deeper I really wanna know, yeah I've already lost control"

This song is performed by Bang Chan and Hyunjin, and according to Genius the song "about compulsion and confusion of ego and about obsession about doing something". One would think, with the sexy sound and concept of the track, it would imply something of a sexy nature. However, it can also be about anything that someone can grow obsessed with. Another person, a feeling, an action, a moment, etc. The line "Tell me you hate me" makes me think of Fenrir talking to Tyr. The music video for the track also heavily features Chan and Hyunjin in chains, so one could also argue the obsession to be the desire to escape from their chains.

"MANIAC" (2022)

"The real self has been released (Yup, yup) Barely holding on (Yup, yup) After blinking once, back Again, back to cosplaying as what society Defines normal to be pow"

'MANIAC' is a song with a visible influence from Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' as it explores one's individual uniqueness, the expectations of society (which can delve into toxic perfectionism/happiness, conformity etc) and how we as a people have hidden our inner 'maniac' to fit in with the world. Even when in Asgard, surrounded by the Aesir and Vanir, Fenrir was always gonna be Fenrir. Just by his mere nature, he was deemed an outcast for being a larger and stronger wolf than they had encountered before, something that within itself isn't a crime. Fenrir would likely always be looked down upon if he showed discomfort, anger or any sort of negative emotion. In this song, Stray Kids basically asks the listener to open up their true self, live their authentic selves and enjoy the life they've been given, essentially; "shed the chains society has forced upon you."

"BEWARE" (original; 2018, re-recorded; 2020)

"My current state, the way I talk, my actions I know I shouldn't be like this But everything goes the opposite way I want you to understand me I don't know what will happen Again today, I'm barking"

Remember when I talked about Fenrir and justifiable rage and I brought up youth being angry with elders being condescending with them? This song is my 'case and point'. Going back to what I mentioned in 'MANIAC', no matter what Fenrir did the Aesir were likely not going to view him in a positive light. Ask any person who has tried to get on the good side of someone who couldn't care for them and you'll often find descriptions of growing tire, frustration and rage. Sometimes, we are going to encounter this in life - whether it be a boss who treats us poorly, a colleague/acquaintance/friend gossiping or lying about us behind our back, a family member who has expectations for you that you can't reach no matter what you try etc. Fenrir is no stranger to this; he experienced it firsthand living amongst the Aesir. That rage one feels in these moments is a healthy rage, a voice, which you will find is either being encouraged by Fenrir or is Fenrir himself, screaming at you "This isn't right, I shouldn't be treated like this!"

"SCARS" (2021)

"I'll never cry because I know that it'll never change I'll stay standing and endure it in an unknown place There will be many times I'll almost fall, but Alone, I reach out my hand, alone, I stand back up"

Sometimes, when we face hurdles in our lives we will feel sadness, sorrow or despair. If there's one thing I want to end this made tangent about, it's this; you will face challenges and it's OK to not be happy about it. It's alright to cry, to scream and wail and sob, to shed tears, feel fear, embarrassment, etc. It's alright if you need to punch a pillow or cry yourself to sleep. Remember; Chan probably did the same. For seven years. Fenrir probably did too, stuck within his personal Hell. But if there's one thing you should take from both of them, it's that you are stronger than you think you are. You can survive, you will survive. You will see the light on the other side one day; all it requires is fighting through the pain, even if that means crying from the hurt. We don't leave this life unscathed; we all will die with countless scars, both physical and mental. Be kind to yourself, know you are worthy of being alive right now, and you have the strength to push onwards. Carry the strength of Fenrir - and the strength of Bang Chan and Stray Kids - with you and remember you aren't alone fighting against the chains you've found yourself bound in.

(TLDR; an Autistic Norse Pagan loses were mind when were discovers a Fenrir tattoo design for Chan, goes on a long Stray Kids and Fenrir rant.)

#stray kids #bang chan #lee know #changbin #han jisung #yang jeongin #lee felix #lee yongkok #felix lee #christopher bang #skz #skz stay #seungmin #hyunjin #jeongin #norse mythology #norse pagan #pagan #paganism #norse heathen #norse heathenry #norse paganism #fenrir #fenrir pagan #fenrir heathen #long post #music #tangents #kpop #k-pop

[midnight-talescape]

The Tyrant and His Pet (Yandere Frieza x Reader)

Does the fact that my first post on tumblr is a 3k smut of Frieza x reader indicate anything about me? No, of course not there is nothing wrong about me.

Warning: bdsm, swearing, breeding kink, tailfucking, master/pet, double penetration, stomach bulge, whipping, implied consent, yandere?, ooc a little bit, etc, etc you get the point not for kid

Genre: filthy filthy smut

｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡

“My lord, you ask for me?”

You ask as you walk into Frieza’s personal quarter.

“Yes, yes, I have been expecting you, pet. Now raise your head, we wouldn’t want that pretty face of yours to be blown off now would we?”

Hearing the odd request from your lord took you off guard and that moment of hesitation was enough to anger him. 

“I said, RAISE YOUR HEAD!”

Before you know it you were thrown across the room with a flick of his tail and landed on the floor with a thud. The second you landed before you can even register the pain of being thrown across the room by a fuck ton of power, you quickly kneel and raise your head to please the tyrant.

‘Oh god, that hurt I think I broke a couple of bones.’

“My sincere apologies my lord, I was slightly taken aback at your request.”

‘Okay never mind my bones are well just in pain’

With a ‘hmph’ Frieza turn around toward you and lift your head up with his tail.

“Do you know why I call you here today?”

“No my lord, perhaps I have done something to displease you?”

Raising his hand to his mouth, Frieza let out a laugh before grabbing you by the neck and pulling your face toward his,

“That’s exactly it, you have done something to displease me greatly and I have called you here today to hand out the punishment myself.”

Feeling the hand around your neck slowly tighten, you look into your lord’s blood red eye, the intent to kill was evident.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuckkkkkk, why did I say that, what did I do, I’m going to fucking die now, fuckkkk’

Maybe it was the panic in your eye that amused him, he release his hold on you and you fell on the floor, once again allowed to breathe.

Watching as you gasp for air, he let out a little hum before turning around and continuing,

“You know I wanted to kill you, for as the galactic tyrant, I will not stand for a weakling like you to live and control my feeling. To make me like the rest of those filthy races wanting and desiring for someone else. To become pathetic and weak.”

Hearing this you looked up in confusion,

‘Is this a fucking confession?! Dear god or kami or whatever am I fucking hallucinating?!’

“But seeing you talking with that filthy underling, has changed my mind…”

‘Who the fu- oh. Oh Christ he’s talking about Jerald. Shiiiittttt’

“My lord please forgive me, I’m willing to do anything to make up for my mistake.”

‘If I’m dense enough I can pretend like he didn’t just confess to me’

Frieza claps his hand feigning excitement

“Then isn’t it great that I have decided you will have the honor of being my, ah what’s that word now? Empress, that’s right. You will be my empress and the mother of my child…”

‘Fuck’

Suddenly you’re forced against the wall with his tail wrapped around your waist.

“How about we start now?”

‘Oh fuck, I’m fucked, quite literally fucked’

“Wait, my lor-“

You started before you was cut off by Frieza slamming his lip on you before saying,

“Now quiet pet, before I forced you to”

The next thing you know you were stripped of your cloth and felt his hand roaming your body.

Any protest you have of being touch in such a vulnerable state was swallowed by Frieza‘s lip on yours.

‘Who would have known that unlike his appearance the lord has such soft and cold lip. Well, I guess cold was expected, but soft? Honestly, you was half expecting it to be hard like his heart or something.’

Sensing your distraction Frieza tightens his tail around your waist in displeasure, you gasp in pain from the pressure that is threatening to break your spine. Frieza took the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth.

‘He tastes like wine, why does he taste like wine? Oh, right forgot the lord is a bit of an alcoholic, huh that will explain why this is happening. Wait… no, shit I can’t breathe, oxygen don’t leave meeeeeeee’

After a while just as you were about to lose consciousness from the lack of air, he mercifully let go of you to allow you a second to breathe. As you gasp for breath Frieza lean toward your ears and whispers menacingly,

“Focus pet, or I might actually let you die next time. I’m not above fucking your corpse, but of course, we both wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

“Yes, *gasp my lord, *gasp my deepest *gasp apology” you struggle out while catching your breath

‘Sweet sweet oxygen daddy misses you’

“Good, now look at me, pet.” he said as he tilt your face toward him, “I want you to listen to me very closely, hmmm. Not a noise out of you, you hear?”

“Yes, m-omph!!!“

Just as you were about to answer back the only way you know how, you let out a silent scream as he suddenly bit your neck, hard enough to drew blood.

“Not when I do this…” another silent scream as he shoves his finger into your entrance, “or this” and you guess it another silent scream as Frieza pushes you against the ground and lashes you across the back with his tail, “or when I do this, you hear me pet, hmmm?”

You nodded your head quickly.

“Good, now pleasure me pet and if you do it well enough I might just forgive you for what you did.”

‘There’s no way he me- oh… Oh, oh fuckkk, ‘

Looking at the thick purple cock that is now in front of your face you started having an internal panic attack, weeeeellllll more than you already was anyway,

‘WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM, WHAT THE HELL?!?! OH GOD IT'S SLIMY, WHY IS IT SLIMY, WHAT SICK BASTARD DECIDED THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT ON SOMEONE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…’

“That’s not gonna fit, there’s no way that’s gonna fit.” you whispered as you slowly back away, well at least as far as you can go before you were dragged back by Frieza’s tail,

“Aw, what a pity because this isn’t the only form I will be fucking you in~”

“I’m sorry wha-“

You couldn’t even finish that sentence before Frieza grab your hair and slam his cock into your mouth, at least a part of it because that thing is not gonna fully fit in your mouth and you promptly started choking because damn you gag reflex.

Watching as your eyes started watering from having to take him in your mouth, Frieza let out a amuse chuckle before lashing you across the back and saying,

“Use your hand now, if you’re not going to put them into good use then I don’t mind removing them for you.”

Shaking you slowly started stroking the part of his cock that you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

‘This is actually kinda hot, wait am I a masochist?’

That thought was soon blown away or well fucked away to be more exact as Frieza get impatient and started fucking you in the face roughly. You really couldn’t think much when your mouth is filled with the universe renowned tyrants cock with his juice (slime?) dripping down your face.

‘Why does his cock taste like wine?! Does he bath in that stuff?!?!’

Oh wait, never mind you can.

Sensing you are slowly losing your focus again, on some trivial matter most likely Frieza grip your hair in displeasure. You was always like this, so easily lost into your own little world. Easily distracted, lost and confused. How else will you never notice the way he looks at you, why else will you pay attention to those other filthy underlings, what will you do if he wasn’t there for you? But oh he’s done waiting, he’s done waiting for you to come to him, he will take and break you, to the point where he will never leave your mind again.

Thinking this he quickly control his tail to start lashing across your back and this time he didn’t bother to be gentle or stop.

Between the pain from the tail and Frieza attempting to shove his cock down your throat you can do little more than whimper.

How long did you kneel there taking his cock was lost to you all you knew was when he finally cum into your mouth and forced you to drink every bit of it, (taste a bit tart and not just straight wine because that will be weird and concerning) your throat was raw and you can’t feel your face and your bleeding from the places he lashes across your back.

You were feeling nothing but pain all over your body… and pleasure?

‘Oh god I am a masochist, well a shame it’s over now’

Just as you thought that you were pushed against the wall or well rather slapped and hold there by your neck with his hand,

‘I WAS FUCKING JOKING!!!’

Was your last thought before he slammed into you and started fucking you roughly. This time your scream was not silent, which was on the bright side quickly silent by him choking you.

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT STAYING QUIET PET!!!”

“I’m- I’m sorry *hic my lord, *hic it hurt, oh god it hurt”

Frieza was about to say something when he noticed something trickling down your leg. Suddenly amused he let go of his hand on your neck and slow down the thrusting enough for you to catch a breath,

“First time? What a surprise, pet. Now, why is that hmmmm? Saving yourself for me perhaps?”

Through your increasingly blurred mind ‘oh god you’re so full’ you manage an answer out of your mouth and you pray whatever you said was comprehensive.

“I never uunf find anyone worth hahhh fucking ahhh~”

“So little pet think they’re master is the only one worth fucking huh?”

‘Well not exactly that, you kinda force this to happen and I don’t particularly want to die, also…. How are you so full?! You have never felt so stretched before, is this supposed to happen? Maybe this isn’t even sex, maybe this is just some sort of obscene torture to punish you. Dear god fuck, are you even still alive? Are those moaning actually coming from you? Wait moaning? Fuck’

“Seem like little pet caught on? Too late!” Frieza said almost too gleefully,

You felt prodding on your ass and you comprehend enough to know that his tail was smooth and cold before he suddenly shoved it in you.

Despite it being thinner than his cock it does not make it any less painful. Trying to hold in your scream you instinctively bit Frieza’s neck and started clawing his back frantically.

“Seem like my pet have claws?”

Panicking, certain you have signed your death warrant you tried to apologize through your fear and pain.

Frieza shush you and rub your back in an oddly comforting way,

“Shush now pet, as your reward for keeping yourself for me, I will allow this act of ah treason”

“Thank you my lord” you sobbed into his shoulder as you endure the onslaught of thrusting from both ends. After a couple of quick thrusts, he hit a spot that makes you see stars and you quickly came all over Frieza. Seeing you panting from your high, Frieza gives a sinister smile before putting one of your legs over his shoulder and pounded into you deeper than you know he could go.

After god knows how long and after your third? Fourth? You lost track of how many times you came, you felt Frieza’s thrust becoming sloppy and know he’s close. In hope of making him cum faster so you can be free from this blissful torture you started clenching your tunnel and kissing up his neck.

Soon Frieza came inside you with a low moan of his and you felt the liquid inside you which cause you to reach your climax once more.

‘Cold, it’s so cold, how the fuck did I not notice that when I was swallowing it?’

After a while you both calm down from your high, Frieza lazily put his head on your shoulder, and a sense of foreboding washed over you.

“Who said you can cum, pet?”

“I’m- I'm sorry, I couldn’t help it, please forgive me, my lord!”

Frieza put a finger on your lip to shush you down.

“Shhhhh, I hate to punish you, but you will never learn otherwise won’t you?”

Do you know what’s on his mind? Absolutely not, but whatever’s going to happen you have a feeling it’s going to hurt.

“Now be a good pet and wrap your leg around me and maybe I will have mercy on you, how about that, love hmmmmm?”

“Ye-yes!”

The only thing you can do now is follow his order and maybe your punishment wouldn’t be as severe.

“That’s a good pet.”

Just as he finished saying that, you felt it before realizing what was happening. You thought you were full before, but now you’re splitting open. His cock was growing bigger inside you, stretching you open further than you thought was possible.

“No aahhh so full unnf I cant hahhh I can't keep it in, mmmfffp I’m so sorry-“

Seeing you desperately trying to apologize to him as you were stretch across his cock after he transform with tear streaming down your pretty face, he felt a tiny bit of mercy. After all, you have been a good pet. He slowly kisses away your tear while continuing to pound into you.

“No need to cry, you have been a good pet so far, so from now on tell me exactly how you felt.”

“Ye-yes my lord.”

“Good, now be a good pet and call me master for the time being”

“Maste-“

You desperately hang on to him as Frieza begin fucking you while walking toward the bed.

“There’s no need to hang on so tight I’m not going to drop you.”

You can no longer hear what he said, all you can do is mumble out broken sentences as he fuck you.

“It’s so deep- I can't- please, master- slow down”

Suddenly all air was knocked out of you as he forcefully fuck into your cervix causing you to burst into tears as you nearly burst with the need to climax.

“Not there please- it hurts- master it’s too deep- don’t- stop please-“

Seeing you crying over how deep he’s going into you, Frieza let out a maniacal laughter. He took out the tail that was still thrusting inside you (you completely forgot it was still there in the first place since you were too overwhelmed by the pain and pleasure from the front entrance) and wrapped it around your stomach tightly as to maximize contact of his cock as it bulge out of your stomach.

“Looks like I’m breaking you, little pet. I was about to let you go, but hearing how you don’t want me to stop, what kind of master will I be if I don’t obligate their pet?”

“No- Please-please let me cum-“

Any protest or begging you want to make was fucked out of you, as he twisted you so you’re no longer facing him.

“Pet, you ever wonder what I can see from this window?”

You can no longer comprehend him as the knot inside your stomach is growing tighter and you beg to be given the permission to cum.

“No- master please-”

“Well I’m going to grant you the permission to find out as a reward for being such a good pet for me, so now quiet down”

You were suddenly being fucked against the window, and your warm body was pressed against the cool glass which sent goosebumps across your skin, but that’s not important. The important thing is not only can you see the galaxy in front of you, but you can also see the training ground. And there was a shit load of people either training or going on about their everyday life. If anyone, anyone, was to look up right now they will be able to see you being fucked by the lord himself. See how much of a slut you are being fucked so shamelessly against the window for the world to see.

Sensing your fear and anxious about being seen, Frieza whispered into your ear with a gleeful smile,

“How will your friend feel if they see you up here? Taking my cock like a good little pet? Being breeded and cumming from the punishment I have inflicted upon you like the dirty slut you are? You will like that, won’t you? Being breed and having my cum inside you, to be my little slut wouldn’t you?”

The shame, the guilt, the voice that’s whispering into your ears, the cock that is forcing its way into your womb, the intense pleasure you felt every time his cock rubbed against your stomach was too much. Your mind went blank and your body was paralyzed as you came all over the window from the biggest climax you have experienced.

“Tsk, tsk, look at the mess you made, I didn’t realize I gave you the permission to cum”

“Master, please please forgive me”

“A punishment is a punishment, don’t worry we have a long time ahead of us…”

｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡

After you were filled to the brim with his seed, Frieza made you cockwarm him in order to ‘keep his reward inside if you’ and that ‘it’s only fair for you to make up for the mercy he shows you by keeping him warm.’

Right before you fell into the sweet void of sleep you shuddered as you heard him whisper into your ears，

“My sweet submissive pet you’re never leaving my side. If you tried to escape I will break your bones one by one, and if anyone wants to help you, then it will simply be time for me to watch their planet burn to ashes. So it’s best if you just stay here filled to the brim with my seed and be a good submissive pet”

There is no escaping, as soon as the galactic tyrant wants something, he will have it. You should be gracious he even set eyes on you, after all, it was a reward for your good behavior.

#dbz x reader #frieza #frieza x reader #dragon ball #dragon ball imagine #No I don’t have problems #reader insert #x reader #reader smut #frieza smut

[defira85]

I've got an hour and a half left of the year so let's be introspective - 2023 was pretty fucking garbage, and that's saying a lot after the mess of last year

It was the first time in 8 years that I struggled with active thoughts of suicide again

I really wanted things to get easier this year after the shit that went down last year - the sudden death of my mother-in-law, being absolutely dragged through the mud by my Covid infection, and a colossal mess with work when my boss developed Long Covid and ended up taking 5 months off of work. I thought that, given time, the grief would become easier to manage, and the work stress would ease up when my boss returned to work in January, and my health would be manageable

The larger cracks started forming in around April, and in July I started seeing a psychologist again. The decline got worse around August, and by late October it was... well. It was that.

The grief never got easier. I'm still waiting for it to be something bearable, but I think the fact that she died of a very traumatic heart attack and - for those who have been paying attention to my posts - I run a practice for a cardiologist means that I have to go into work every day and look into the faces of people who don't want to take medication for their hearts, and who don't want surgery for their hearts, and I want to shake them and tell them that they're resigning their families to unbelievable trauma and heartache that is literally preventable... it's not the same job as it was eighteen months ago

Add on to that the fact that our receptionist got more and more aggressive towards our preventative health measures as time wore on to protect the doctor and enable him to keep working with Long Covid and literally keep us employed, resulting in massive outbursts from her in October and November that I had to just sit and take because I had to be the professional even while she was lashing out and treating me like shit

It's been hard. It's been really hard. Last year was garbage but god this year was bleak

I tried getting back into fandom this year after the start of the pandemic just killed my spirit dead in the water, and it's been miserable. 2020 was only 3 years ago, but the difference in 3 years feels so so stark. The bleak silence in response to "content" instead of community like I used to see and partake in is so demoralising and so humiliating. I write because I have stories I want to share, but who am I sharing them with? I don't know! The numbers tick very slowly up, so SOMEONE is reading, but I don't know them from a bar of soap. I've tried joining conversations in a couple of fandoms on tumblr and it all fizzles out to nothing. Everyone and everything is on discord these days, and I'm just not interested in that for fandom

No prophesying for 2024, but the receptionist quit on the last business day of the year, so I never have to see her again. I'm terrified that the doctor will decide we don't need to replace her and will expect me to be his receptionist and nurse and secretary and practice manager and hospital bookings manager all in one... without the pay rise to match, and without the acknowledgement that I absolutely cannot do all of that by myself without help. I'm glad the bitch is gone but I'm so miserable thinking about the coming years work. My doctor wants to do more mental health stuff including eating disorder stuff and it's exhausting still trying to get that under control when I'm nearly 40

I don't even know what the point of this post was. It's not a happy one. Maybe it's good to spew it all out here with the intention of leaving it in the past

I just don't know what the future holds. I don't know what to hope for anymore. I just want this year to be over though

#Defira rambles #suicide mention

[rjalker]

February 12th 2023: don't donate until this part is removed! someone stole my fucking wallet.

I'm making this my pinned post because I am tired of suffering.

Here's the link to my actual About post. Read it if you're going to follow me, it has my DNI as well as tags I use for things so you can blacklist them if you want/need to.

====

Hi I'm fucking too disabled to work but have to get a fucking lawyer to get fucking disability SSI from the stupid fucking government because it's literally designed to make people give up before they get their gods damned money.

I literally don't even eat even a single meal each day.

I'm also trans and would like to fucking medically transition someday but at this point I've just fucking give up that hope because I will literally never be able to afford it unless capitalism gets smashed tomorrow. in which case none of this matters, but that's not going to happen because that's not how revolution works so fucking anyways

also we're out of ibuprophen and I have fucking menstrual cramps right and yeah I should probably get fucking tested for endomitroiosis or whatever the fuck it's called but you know what else I don't have? Health insurance. Because I'm too disabled to work, and even if I could work literlaly no one will give me a full time job that wouldn't literaly just end up killing me.

====

Here's the gofundme link.

My paypal, venmo, and cashapp are all "Rjalker".

Here's the link to my redbubble store if you'd rather buy something.

You can also tip me through tumblr.

====

I have the Redbubble prices set so that when you buy a product I actually get a decent cut instead of $2 max. If you buy a pin, for example, I get $9.

My paypal icon is the same flower design as my tumblr icon. I don't think cashapp and venmo have icons but if they do I'll make sure they're the same too.

Check out and request more pronoun pins on my sideblog @custom-pronoun-pins

This post is being made November 30th 2022 but unless they suddenly invent No Longer Disabled pills it's just not going to have a fucking "this is no longer relevant" date because this shit isn't going to get better.

Here's what your money will be going towards if you donate:

rent, $500 a month for my half

phone bill, $35 a month

water bill, around $35 a month

internet bill , $45 a month

cat food, cat litter, and vet visits

groceries

clothes

fixing the washer or just buying a new one

fixing the dryer or just buying a new one

all the fantasy and scifi books I'm going to write that I will literally be giving away for free because if it's not clear enough yet I fucking hate capitalism. You will be able to download the books for free endlessly and the only time you'll have to pay money is for the cost of the materials to make the physical book.

we literally have not had a functional washer or dryer for the last like five fucking years in a row. All our clothes have to be washed in the fucking tub and then hung up in front of a fan to dry, or put in the fucking pop-up air dryer we found that takes for fucking ever and can't hold more than a few things before it stops working almost entirely.

I'm making this my pinned post because I'm tired of suffering. I'll fucking put the other one back when capitalism ends or I get the fucking disability SSI I literally would have been getting from birth except for the fucking idiot in the government who decided to fucking remove us from the fucking disability list when we turned eighteen when they took us off the fucking survivor's benefits of our fucking dad dying.

No I am not fucking joking. My twin and I were literally born four months early. We were literally guaranteed disability SSI from the moment we were born because of all the shit that went wrong and the fact that both of us were blatantly fucking autistic and had dyslexia and all this other shit.

And some fucking government worker fucked up when we turned eighteen and not only took us off the fucking survivor's benefits SSI, which overrode the disability SSI, but also fucking took us off the list for the disabled SSI.

Literally assigned abled at eighteen.

And I still haven't even fucking been diagnosed with anything for my physical disability because again! No health insurance! Because I can't work! Because I'm disabled! And since I can't work I can't get my disability diagnosed! Which means I can't get accommodations! It's literally a fucking endless cycle that will only stop if I or capitalism die!!!

======

Update 12/11/22: The water bill for November has been paid! Thank you!

#donation post #mutual aid #signal boost #ghjrfgSDjzvcx #trans #transgender #transnonbinary #disabled #disability #felkdsVCvxbv #actuallyautistic #autistic #actually autistic #Rjalker has fucking EDS #NOT THAT THAT'S BEEN DIAGNOSED BECAUSE THAT COSTSSSSSSS MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #BUT YOU KNOW IT'S FINE I'M SURE EVERYONE DISCLOATES THEIR HIP FOR THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[sarcastic-salem]

It feels ironic that I’m writing, but I really don’t give a shit. I feel like it needs to be put out there for my own mental health.

I’ve been a Norse Heathen for 5 years now, and I love my religion. I love the connection I feel with my deities. I love having them there to talk to and support me, and I love all the esoteric weird bullshit and borderline paranormal “woo shit” that comes with being a Pagan.

Which the majority of the Heathen community look down on out of a sense of arrogant self-righteousness and an absolutely massive inferiority complex.

Because Heathenry — as the ancient Norse would have practiced — is a dead religion. Everything we know about it comes either from extremely biased 13th century Christian scholars, cishet white historians, or whatever practicing Heathens pieced together post-1900 following the invention of Asatru in Iceland.

There’s no historical proof that Heathenry was practiced as it is today.

And because Heathens can’t stand the idea of being compared to the gullible and deluded Wiccans—

Note: These are not my personal beliefs. I don’t believe (all) Wiccans are gullible and deluded. The above is a statement based off of my own experiences in the Heathen community cause guess — I used to be a Wiccan. So I’ve experienced this bullshit stigma firsthand.

—The vast community of reconstructionalist Heathens have decided that every aspect of our religion has got to be

A biggest dick contest.

People are constantly trying to one-up each other like,

“Oh-hoh, look what I just learned that makes me vastly superior and absolutely must be true because this vaguely translated 12th century tome that I bought off eBay says so!”

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, a lot of the shit recons are putting out there is racist, anti-LGBT bullshit. So, of course, Heathenry automatically comes with a crash course on how to not be brainwashed by faux feminist white supremacists and literal fucking Nazis. And the fact that the Nazi population has not only been steadily growing since 2018 but has also managed to successfully infiltrate “safe spaces” intended for queer and BIPOC Heathens

Is not exactly what I’d call a win for the Heathen community.

Because there is no community. There is no sense of unity in the general non-Nazi Heathen community at large. Because the recons are all busy being like,

“You can’t do that — that’s NOT how it worked 4,000 years ago! And that God only has a name and a single monolith in Norway. So you can’t worship them, either, cause we’re smart and we said so.”

And when someone does notice that some fucking weird potentially harmful shit is up in the community people are just like,

“Well, we’d look into it but that particular cult of Heathen eugenicists doesn’t seem to exist on Tumblr. So we’re just gonna wait for them to make their way here and see what happens. Now, if you don’t mind I’d like to get back to translating this cave painting that was found a year ago in Iceland.”

And its fucking bullshit. Like there could be — and is — an actual fucking Nazi takeover taking place and reconstructionalist assholes will be dogpiling someone because they bought a fucking Ouija Board or a piece of fucking rose quartz cause they thought it might make them happier.

Recons, what the fuck is with you people? The Heathen community is a fucking nightmare. You are killing this community while Nazis are driving people to commit fucking suicide.

Get your fucking shit together.

#lokean #heathenry #norse heathenry #paganism #norse pagans #norse paganism #inclusive heathenry #reconstruction #norse gods #norse panthon #norse mythology #norse eddas #odinism #leftist #witchcraft #witchy #witchy things #norse pagan witch #pagans #pagans of tumblr #wiccans #folk magic #gemstone magic #gemstone healing #loki #loki deity #norse god loki #god loki #loki devotee #odin devotee

[beepbeepdespair]

HI okay so i have more weird dreams involving ofmd cast members to tell y'all about. i did try to find the post with the original two on it but tumblr's search function is a fucking joke so i couldn't 💀 ok here goes

so this first one happened a couple nights ago. i dreamt that there was an abandoned run-down old house not far from me that was infamous because if you entered it, you would only exit being dragged out by your ankles because you'd be dead, and no one knew why. my best friend, who i remember was in a VERY kawaii outfit, went in and i tried to stop her but i was too late and she died, so i had to go in to retrieve her body. and it was then that i came face to face with the reason why everyone died in that house:

madeleine sami. or at least some version of them that was somewhere between a horror film serial killer and a mob boss lmao. she was in a black suit (and looked fucking fantastic, might i say)... and then i suddenly pulled a machine gun out of god knows where and said "right. you're coming with me." i led them out with her hands behind their back hoping she'd be cooperative and i wouldn't have to kill them, but literally the second she got out the door they made a run for it and i was like "shame. ah well i gave her a chance" and fucking mowed them down kfndndndn. like. i shot her probably 20 times, mostly in the head

and i do just want to stress quickly that i absolutely adore madeleine and i do NOT want to shoot them. so i have no idea where this came from lmao. at least it's the kind of badass thing i think she'd enjoy

and now we move onto last night's dream. so in theory i do have a tiktok (i say in theory because it is d e a d i do not use it) but on the rare occasions i hop on there, normally because someone's sent me something, there's this lady on there called haley who i am SO jealous of lmao. she's a professional/performing mermaid at a park, gives out necklaces to kids, does tricks, that sort of thing

anyway i dreamt that i was one of these mermaids and taika and rhys had come to watch me perform. they decided that they both really wanted one of these necklaces and in the dream there was apparently some company policy that i could only give them to children so i had to apologise that i couldn't give them any. they really didn't like that answer so they jumped over the barrier into the pool and drowned me krnrnrnrnr

again i absolutely adore those two and i know they would never do something like that, but i will say the image of rhys and taika holding mermaid me underwater until the bubbles stop was oddly hilarious to me

#fucking wild huh. i didn't even have cheese #ok to reblog #beep beep gets personal #personal #beep beep dreams #beep beep likes ofmd #ofmd #ofmd cast #dreams #dream #madeleine sami

[biggestfoolonthemarket]

“reddit moment” i say, knowing full well that i am looking at an ifunny screenshot of a tumblr post with a screenshot of a facebook post which contains a screenshot of a shitty instagram meme account. the roller coaster i am on then flies off the rails, and moments before i hit the ground peter griffin jumps in front of it and kills himself. his immense stomach stops the whiplash from killing me. then the private army of elementary school mercenaries (with armored vehicles and m16’s) pulls up and i know i gotta activate my stand so i do and it gives them acid crayons that ruin all their drawings. next thing i know truck-kun smashes into me with the full force of an orc’s dick and i am isekai’d to a fantasy world where the magic system relies on cringe. naturally i sing the fnaf song while doing the floss and become god. i then decide to make earth 2. i shit out a male, female, and a non-binary. i tell them to stay the fuck away from apples (as a prank) and when they touch the apples i (joking practically) burn them to death. i hide the bodies in a black hole so space police jesus doesn’t give me a fine. i become bored of my godliness and isekai myself back to the real world. i wake up from a coma i’d been in for 119 years [not aging ofc] and immediately masturbate. i decide to not outlive my one remaining enemy and push him off the hospital roof {he was visiting me} and before he hits the ground i, through sheer force of will, stop my organs from functioning. i wake up in hell for all the torture i did to iranian children |bullshit sin| and i, like any other normal person, rape the devil and kick him out. i don my cap and bells which had been stolen from me by demons and send all the damned to heaven. except for my enemies, whom toil day and night in the ‘ideas-for-this-story’ mines for eternity. christian god catches wind of this and is obviously mad. i also rape him and kick him out. “fuck,” i say, “i’m god again.” i decide to appoint rick may as god because he can rocket jump <very cool> and while i’m smoking crack in heaven i spot elon musk. apparently he was in hell but i, in my foolish hubris, had brought him to heaven. i raped him and kicked him out. bored yet again i reincarnate as an orangutan and become the chieftain of all the apes. i lead the siege against humanity and within the hour earth is ours. apparently someone went on a 200-year space trip a few months back? idk, don’t care. me and my monkey pals fuck around (literally) and discover the key to immortality. but because i’m sick and tired of becoming god i cease to exist until, 500 million years later, alien archeologists get one fact wrong about me. i come back and destroy their entire civilization. i piss out a black hole and destroy everything that has ever been. content with myself, i become eaten by the black hole and discover myself on a roller coaster. i get out my phone and open ifunny.

the end

[thebewilderer]

So someone sent an ask and I spent at least a good half fucking hour typing up a response, went to save it as a draft, and tumblr fucking ate it

summary of the ask was:

I think the issue is not that they actively seek out things to hate, but rather make people aware of the problems of said thing. Media has an effect on reality, people’s actions, and the environment What’s wrong with telling people that they shouldn’t enjoy certain media? What’s wrong with de-platforming people/franchises that are Problematic?

This is what I remember, feel free to resend it if there was more about it. I had a whole nice thing typed out and formatted, but I guess you’re just getting my frustrated-by-tumblr’s-bullshit version so, sorry about that I guess.

I think the issue is not that they actively seek out things to hate, but rather make people aware of the problems of said thing.

No. It’s not an issue of “making people aware of the problems”. this is blatantly false. I have a whole tag of people wishing me various gruesome deaths. I’ve got more in my mentions, and a lot of screenshots; I’ll post a collage of them at some point.

Media has an effect on reality, people’s actions, and the environment

Yeah yeah, we’ve heard the “media has an effect on reality” argument a thousand fucking times. End of the day, people are responsible for their own actions. Just as it’s not my fault for getting catcalled due to my dress, the author is not responsible for how readers interpret their writing. And the author is even less responsible for potential actions that readers may take in response to their writing. Wanting authors/artists to shoulder responsibility for people’s actions is so incredibly entitled.

(I swear to GOD if y’all bring up the Jaws stuff I’m going to lose it. Here’s a post about that. Read it. Maybe you’ll learn something.)

“What’s wrong with telling people not to enjoy media that’s Bad?”

So the other day, I had some guy tell me I need to put a warning on my darkfic telling people to not jerk off to it (no, I am not kidding). This would be an unacceptable course of action for a few reasons:

1) Gross Trying to control what strangers jerk off to is absolutely unacceptable, and reeks of the resurgence of purity culture. You absolutely cannot police the sexuality of other people. That is the basic tenant of purity culture, despite 

2) Ineffective Say I threw my morals on the ground and decided to demand what other people masturbate to. Why the fuck would they give a shit? If someone’s jerking off to something, some jackass on the internet saying “oh noooo, don’t do that :(” is absolutely not going to do anything. All that would happen is that I now feel a sense of moral superiority; it’s just ego-boosting, self-righteous bullshit.

3) Who cares? Some person I don’t know, jerking off, by themself, in the privacy of their own home, is literally not going to affect anything at all. Mind your business.

What’s wrong with de-platforming people/franchises that are Problematic?

Because y’all aren’t “de-platforming franchises”. Y’all are attacking and harassing small-time artists and authors because those are easier targets than fucking Disney or whatever.

Do I really need to go find the story of that one struggling artist who got death threats and doxxed and whatnot so fucking hard they were fired from their job??

Do I really need to go find the stories of the kids that wrote Problematic Fic and thus got suicide-baited and harassed so relentlessly they actually fucking killed themselves? And the people on your side who treated this as a victory?

Do I really need to go find the hundreds of screenshots of the people you’re defending saying that “CSA victims deserved what they got if this is what they’re writing” / “I wish your abusive parent/ex had killed you because then you wouldn’t write this” / “pity that cancer didn’t kill you before you drew this”

@antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx has an entire tag filled with y’all’s hypocritical bullshit, go check that out and then try n come back with your “we’re just trying to protect people.”

Sorry this post got so aggressive, but I can no longer take y’all’s arguments in good faith. Y’all’ve proven time and time again that you care more about the wellbeing of fictional characters than of real life actual living and alive human beings. And until that changes, none of your little “we’re trying to protect people” arguments hold any goddamn water.

#proship #shipping discourse #ih #rape mention #abuse mention #csa mention #suicide mention #mail #well technically not mail but it was supposed to be before tumblr fucked me #me being problematic probably #hope its ok i tagged u mouse #lmk if you want that part deleted

[starsapphire]

3, 10, 12, 22 for the violence asks

answered 3 at the bottom

10. worst part of fanon

i couldn't decide so i went into the dc tag to see what horrors may lurk within and then had to go do something else for an hour to recover. anyway i think maybe... there's this tendency in fanon to make all of the bats nice. nice to each other, nice to their teammates, nice to strangers. and they're not nice people. i don't mean that they're (all) bad people or needlessly cruel and unkind. i mean they're not nice people. they're rude and they're assholes and they hurt each other and they hurt their friends and they insult people. to make #batfam content work they need to be sweet and pleasant to one another and not hate each other and frankly that's not how it is. wayne family adventures only works because they're nice to each other! the real, canon batfamily (as in wayne family not necessarily the entire group of allies) is a bunch of people who are technically family but it's held together by spite and pipecleaners. in actual canon, dick and bruce fight all the time, and bruce says hurtful things, and jason is a mass murderer before he's ever even like, despised coworkers with any of his siblings. tim is not a sweetie who rolls over and shows his belly when bruce gives orders. dick is not a doting big brother "mama bird". babs loves bruce but she very much does not give a shit what he thinks, and he is NOT her father. they are not a nice, perfectly-balanced nuclear family. they are a bunch of horrible people with mental issues. what the fuck is a little wing i'm going to kill you

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

AMADEUS CHO. and i'm not talking champions-era totally awesome hulk amadeus cho. i'm talking incredible hercules era. off the fucking shits. calling people cunts. including government officials. taking occupied helicarriers out of the sky. destroying government property. doing it all on a modified gameboy. his weird toxic relationship with a gorgon. taking over a multibillion dollar conglomerate from the gods themselves. his best friend being a 3000 year old himbo. the coyote pup plotline. breaking into banner's lab multiple times. going to hell because he might as well. him being a cunt to total strangers. he's such an asshole you don't understand how much i adore him 😭😭 mark waid's champions amadeus was a rare flop unfortunately

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

all of it timsteph... they're so fun i love them so much... i know steph gets in the way of shipping tim with boys and interfering with yaoi is unforgivable or whatever but their relationship is such a huge part of who both of them are as characters. like they're so... sorry i don't have coherent language skills ever but they're like. you know. they. tim took steph to birthing classes. he held her baby. steph saved his life. they do crosswords together. did u know that. and don't get me wrong! their relationship had a lot of bad parts. i honestly don't think they were right for one another romantically, especially at the time. they both had a lot of growing up to do. but they love one another in a way that's beyond platonic or romantic. they need each other. steph is silly where tim is too serious and she's serious where tim isn't. they balance one another out in the best way

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

these are from the same post. i promise you someone the extent of whose interaction with batman and robin is the phrase "batman and robin" is not shipping br*dick. they don't know what that means. like, either of those words. i'm pretty sure if you told literally any normal person that robin is actually batman's son, they would be disturbed. and i promise you that your incest yaoi has bever been "vanilla" and "completely unproblematic". go outside

#p #ask game #ask to tag

[the-most-character-i-ever-saw]

The Most Character Ever Tournament - Round 2 Set 13

In this tournament, we will be searching to find the most character ever! I challenge you to decide on an adjective before you see the characters and stick with it throughout all the polls. I go a bit more into detail in this post.

Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet

Claimed to be the most dramatic by the person who submitted him

Has defeated Laios Touden

“bitch got himself killed because he couldn’t shut the fuck up”

Harry Du Bois from Disco Elysium

Claimed to be the most “He's the most… Uhhhm. He's… He's the most uhhh. makes vague hand gestures He's. The most Something!” by the person who submitted him

Has defeated Dennis Reynolds

"So if you've seen posts talking abt how he's like the saddest pathetic-est man out there they're not lies I think. This guy… Uhhhh. He has Problems. My favourite thing about him is that he's extremely eccentric [fucker wears clothes out the garbage. He talks to his tie. He just Says Weird Shit to people and they don't question it if u play ur cards right.] but also he's just. So deranged? I don't know How to describe his personality because how he is depends on how you play the game. You can turn him into a living breathing Omen Of The World Ending. You can turn him into a sorry sad sack of shit that literally dies if even Slightly insulted. You can give him a god complex?? It fucking Depends. Actually I don't think him dying if insulted is based on how you play no matter what bc if someone says something mean to him he Does take damage and if ur not careful he can just fucking die from that for real but I digress!! HFHFHDJDJF He just. Contains Multitudes! But primarily on Tumblr he is Thee Poorest Little Meow Meow Pathetic Sopping Wet Beast Of A Creature Of A Man. And he can canonically be that in the game!! Amazing!!!”

#the most character ever #the most character ever tournament #poll tournament #polls #poll #tournament poll #ask response #filler tag :3 #mercutio #romeo and juliet #harry du bois #disco elysium

[theeeveetamer]

Scarlet Blaze Liveblog, Chapter 5

It got rid of my extra spaces when I hit post :( Why do we live? Just to suffer?

SPEAKING OF SUFFERING! Holy shit the new Tumblr beta editor REALLY fucking hates formatting. Wouldn’t let me make any of these sections into bullet points. I have been fighting with this thing for weeks now (it also really hates letting me remove large sections of text as well). Had to turn it off to get any semblance of formatting so I hope it looks alright when I hit post

Explore dialogue

Now we have an NPC saying that there SHOULDN’T be fog this time of year. Make up your mind, game.

Linhardt: Aw my lazy days are over :(

Shez: You know some of us never had lazy days

Linhardt: Yeah but weren’t you just doing that because you wanted to?

Uh, no it’s called Shez is a commoner and had to literally become a mercenary to SURVIVE. They mention that numerous times. In another support they talk about how they were happy to eat rats if it meant their belly got filled. jfc, Lin, the privilege just oozing from you…

There’s a random mage lady who asks you if anyone on the opposing side uses dark magic. Agarthan lady, perhaps?

Ferdie stands like someone wearing one of those babydoll skirts from Style Savvy and I love him

Interesting that they explicitly state that Hrym was wiped out for resisting Ionus’s power centralization here. IIRC that was a lot less explicit in 3H

We also have explicit trade with Dagda, Albinea, Brigid and others. So I guess that’s another point against “Rhea doesn’t let Fodlan have contact with outside nations”

Why does Randolph look like he has a tiny blanket on his shoulder lmao

Wait why was Constance hostile to living in the Empire again?

Oof. Between Dimitri and Edelgard, Dimitri definitely got the superior Hapi nickname

Random Tidbits

Lmao. Hubert being like “I don’t even have to try not to kill you” during training and Ferdie being like “uh. Thanks. I think.”

I really wish the game would tell me when a character maxes out support points even if the letter is locked. It’s really annoying building support and then just realizing it’s not going up anymore after you’ve wasted so many training points and whatnot

I’ve decided that I’ve stopped caring if units like the food I’m cooking. Y’all will eat it and y’all will like it. I’m done coddling your asses.

I don’t care if you’re bad at the tasks either. Caspar, Linhardt, I’m sure you’ll do fine at running this street stall.

HUBERT WANTS TO GO ON AN EXPEDITION!!! OH BOY!!!

Hol up lemme drop everything

I hope he takes me somewhere nice to kill me

Good thing I unlocked all these new excursion spots. Gonna drive me crazy tho since I’m pretty sure there’s different dialogue in each one

“The shorter a leash, the better”. Kinky

Let’s go on a nice waterfront murder date

“Once, two souls took a boat out on the water… Only one returned. A fine story, yes?” oh my god he’s actually going to kill me

I have a feeling he wanted me to propose a competition… No wonder Ferdie is his type

“Ask thoughts on their employer” that’s a new one, I don’t remember that question ever popping up before

Unfortunately I don’t get to stare at his face. I was really looking forward to more murder dialogue.

Support Conversations

Shez/Caspar C - Caspar has daddy issues lmao of course he does they all do.

Sorry, having daddy issues won’t save your appeal from that hairstyle

I was about to comment on Caspar being like “I’ve got to build my way up from the bottom” but then he actually addressed what I was going to say by acknowledging that he at least has his name to lean on. So good for you Caspar, I see you retain some semblance of self awareness in this game so far.

Shez/Linhardt C - Shez: Just so we’re clear, whatever Hubert said you were gonna do to me, I’m not into it.

Shez is not kinky confirmed :(

How is Linhardt NOT interested in Shez’s power. She literally fucking shapeshifts and he’s just like “eh, whatever it’s just a sword.”

Like. What. C’mon dude.

Shez/Monica C - Ok Monica I hate you

MANUELA/JERITZA B LET’S GO - GIRL STOP BEING SO THIRSTY

Oh my god do not make Jeritza smile

Manuela: Don’t you want to talk to people?

Jeritza: No.

Stop making Jeritza relatable to me

Lmao Manuela realizing she’s still single because everyone views her as a teacher

Come to me Manuela! I have a teacher kink! We can do both!

Caspar/Dorothea C - Caspar: I’m reading

Dorothea: You can read???

This support is weird. Caspar is like “I wanna study” and Dorothea is like “You need to study!!!! Here let me lecture you on how you need to study!!!!!!!!!!” Caspar: “WOW I NEED TO STUDY!!!!”

Like he was already doing it Dorothea, geez.

Shez/Manuela C - Lmao we stan a messy queen

Y’know Manuela we can smash. I’ll never leave you

Shez/Hubert B - Uh wow weirdly abrupt start. Am I supposed to take this as happening directly after the last one??? They’re standing in the same place and Shez starts like Hubert just said something

Like. Really weird way to do this

“Sever ties” so that’s what the kids are calling it these days

Shez: You have emotions

Hubert: *confused Hubert noises*

Lmao he just had to insult my intelligence there at the end. Never change, Hubert

I know this is a lot of supports but since I’m playing on NG+ I have like 8 activity and 8 training points so it’s stupid easy to get supports. I didn’t even talk about all of them. I imagine future posts will have less as I start hitting time gated supports

Side Battle/Story Content

I’ve been putting this off by playing free mode battles with the renown unlockable characters lol.

Omg Maximum ambulation. Ferdie runs so fast. He’s got the zoomies!!!

Oh no Hubert wants to kill talk to me

Hubert: It’s cute how u thought I would let you live, tho

HI DADDY RODRIGUE

Man first Seteth now Rodrigue? This route really hates DILFs I guess

I mean I’m not surprised. Look at Count Bergliez

RIP Gustave is here too. Guess they’re making him fight in this route

Main Battle/Story Content

Everyone: *whispering*

Ferdie: WHY ARE WE WHISPERING!!!!!!!???? :D

Ferdie you lovable himbo

Ok do we really need three rounds of “why is everyone so quiet” so everyone can get their dialogue about being quiet in?

I wonder if this conversation changes with permadeath. It’s kind of written like it

Maybe I should do an “everyone dies” run in the future just to see how the story changes lol

INGRID!!!!!! MY DARLING!!!!!

Lmao I don’t even like Ingrid that much but I already miss my Lions :(

Oh I guess Jeralt is in the Kingdom now

I mean they’re trying to do the whole “oooooh mystery who could it beeeeeeeee” thing but I know Ling Tong when I hear him

Oh looks like Ashe is a traitor. Can’t say I’m surprised

Honestly fuck Lonato. If you have a problem with sexy dragon lady you have a problem with me

I haven’t talked about this but honestly the colors are fucking me. It’s a good thing Warriors games don’t have friendly fire because I keep running right past all the soldiers in blue to try and kill all the soldiers in red, because like. Fire Emblem do be like that normally

I keep finding big purple circles on the ground. What is that. What does it do. Who is doing that

I actually feel like a bad person for recruiting Ashe here. I mean Lonato is literally willing to kill the poor kid

Edelgard: Family should not fight family

Also Edelgard: Unless it’s Dimitri fuck that guy lmao

Also Also Edelgard: Also Rhea, since she probably banged my great great great great grandaddy a thousand years ago (and maybe is my great great great great grandmommy). Fuck her too

“I could not bear to lose another son” Ok then maybe don’t try killing him, Lonato???? What the fuck?

If saving you weren’t a requirement you would be so dead right now, Lonato

Byleth was kind of a pushover on NG+ lmao

… I’m sorry does Monica have jiggle physics

Ok her boobs don’t have jiggle physics, but her bow does. Which makes it look like she has boob jiggle physics. Why.

JFC Bergliez is so ugly

JUDITH MY BELOVED

She was surprisingly absent from AG I’m glad I get to see more of her

I’m sorry, Bergliez got all the way to Deirdriu????? When???????? When did we do that?????

Damn we killing daddy Gloucester, aren’t we? This is dead Fire Emblem dad dialogue

Oh even this guy gets a first name. Not the moms tho. Fuck the moms I guess :/

I’m surprised Fleche got a name and wasn’t just “Randolph’s sister” for the entirety of 3H

Kinda awkward to hear Petra complimenting the dude that murdered her dad

“The head of House Ordelia is one of the Five Great Lords” am I misremembering? I thought Lysithea’s family gave up their seat at the roundtable to Marriane’s uncle because they knew their house was in decline thanks to Lysithea’s condition

I went looking through her supports to see if I was right and apparently Lysithea/Hilda support confirms homeopathy of all things exists in 3H. No wonder these people still die of the plague.

Ok I couldn’t find anything and I don’t care enough to keep looking, but I got my eye on you, continuity guy

“Consider why we chose not to dismantle House Aegir” goddamn Hubert is just going straight for Ferdie’s throat

Ferdie: Haha I’m in danger

Also RIP Ferdie basically blatantly admitting that he’s only still around because he’s willing to “toe the line” regardless of how he feels about anything. Why am I supposed to be rooting for the Empire again?

I don’t get why people are like “We went to school with these people for 30 seconds maybe they’ll listen to reason” like? Why would they, exactly?

Like it was stupid in 3H but at least they had a whole year in 3H. In this game they were all literally at the academy for like a month

Recruiting Ashe also feels weirdly OOC for him after he spent the entirety of AG’s prologue and parts of part 1 talking about how Lonato would want him to do what he thinks is right and how he believes Lonato has gone off the rails, and while it hurts him, he believes it’s right to stop Lonato. Here he’s just like “Ok fine I don’t want to kill him I guess I’ll join you. Fuck my dreams of being a knight.”

I guess they had to make someone from the BL recruitable and everyone else makes even less sense than Ashe. I mean can you imagine if they let you recruit Ingrid here? Lmao

Anyways wrapping up

Spoilers for recruitables in this route here here.

Can I just say, the spread of recruitable characters, from a gameplay perspective, is kind of weird?

On SB, of the characters you get automatically, half of them are mages (5 of your starting 11 are mages).

Not including the wolves or other characters, you get Ashe, Ignatz, Lorenz, Raphael, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes, and Leonie (under special circumstances) in addition to the SB characters. But like. That means on SB you get two axes (Caspar, Edelgard), two swordies (Shez, Petra), three mounted lances (Ferdie, Jeritza, Lorenz), one brawler (Raphael), four archers (Bernie, Ashe, Ignatz, Leonie), and eight magic units (Hubert, Dorothea, Linhardt, Monica, Manuela, Lysithea, Marianne, Mercedes). If you include the wolves you get ten. Ten magic users. What do I need ten of these guys for? What is this game’s obsession with mages (the Lions also had way too many, though it wasn’t this egregious and at least Annette can be a serviceable axe unit once she gets Crusher)?

Made even worse because there’s only two magic master classes, and only one magic master class per gender which means you’re going to be ending up with two dark bishops and eight gremories. You can’t equip tomes as a dark knight or holy knight either, you have to use the lance, which is not optimal for many of these mage units. No idea why they decided to take out Valkyrie and Dark Flier if they were going to create so many damn mages. Basically every other weapon type (aside from archers and brawlers) gets at least two different options for master classes, and there aren’t nearly as many archers and brawlers as there are mages.

I guess I’ll use Constance and Hapi more on GD, since at least they only come with Marianne and Lysithea to start

#SB Liveblogging #Scarlet Blaze Spoilers #FEW3H

[staenless]

I'm gonna be vulnerable with you guys for a sec and express what I'm certain is about to be an unpopular opinion; I fucking loath how Tumblr talks about TikTok, and specifically women and girls on TikTok. Don't like, don't read, I just honestly have to get this off my chest cause I'm mad

Like I see SO many posts about how popular TikTok trends, which are almost always mainly popular with women and girls, are self infantalising, promoting unhealthy behavior and societal views and literally killing feminism. I am not joking. I see so many of these posts. And like the craziest shit is the people posting this are SO certain of themselves and these buck-ass-wild opinions that they cannot even see the fucking hypocrisy of claiming these women are "self infantalising". Like you don't see how you taking one look at a TikTok trend, not knowing shit about it, and then deciding in your infinite wisdom you just HAVE to educate these imbicilic girls is fucking infantalising.

You're literally saying "these silly little girls with their "Girl Math" are portraying themselves as srupid and idiotic, and I am now going to call them srupid and idiotic for making a video where they rationalise purchasing certain luxuries to make themselves happy, because women like this are the reason we don't have gender inequality!" like it's sooo fucking patronising, bad faith and very clearly comes from someone who saw like, two videos and an essay ass post from one of their fellow fear-mongering online friends and decided to condemn these silly fucking idiots for their blatant internalised mysogyny. I, the supreme poster with wisdom beyond their platform however, am impervious to internalised mysogyny.

And it becomes even more obvious when you look through this person's posting history and they only ever talk about female-dominated trends (and when I say "female dominated I definitely include trans women here because I've seen posts complaining about how trans-women will call themselves girls and it's totally contributing to the societal infantalisation of women. These posts reak of terf-yness and seem to forget that men also refer to themselves as boys. "one of the boys" "me and the boys" it's almost as if using the child-centric gendered term denotes a level of carelessness and whimsical fun. "women's night" or "mens night" sounds severe and responsible. "girls night" or "boys night" sounds lighthearted and carefree. But God forbid we consider other influences on the language we use, it's clearly a way of infantalising women and stripping them of their agency, especially when it's women using these terms, reclamation and terms of indearment are for men only.). Mewling, a trend mainly popular with men and boys, originates from the looksmaxxing community, which is a branch of the wider manosphere/incel community. Where are your hand wringing posts about a trend popular with young men and boys that can be traced back to the incel community, a community that has produced actual fucking terrorists and murderers. A community where men advocate for women having their rights stripped away from them. But these wise bloggers seem fucking blind to mewling, or maybe in THIS instance they're able to understand that looksmaxxing was appropriated from the incel community in a effort to mock them, and mewling is an ironic continuation of this mockery. Well just ignore that videos about how to get that mewling jawline, which could lead down a rabbit hole to genuine looksmaxxing posts, to actual incel community. That's not important, but you know what is? Some earing disorder centered accounts made "girl dinner" posts showing how very little they ate, so girl dinner is a super harmful trend that promotes eating disorders.

The difference between Mewling leading to Inceldom, and Girl Dinner leading to an Eat Disorder is that women are fucking srupid and easy to manipulate, while boys are either too smart for this or cannot be held accountable for being radicalised or any of their actions really, so why even bother.

Do you understand my frustration here?

Okay sure, maybe some of these people genuinly DO care about TikTok promoting unhealthy beauty standards, or unhealthy traditional gender roles or just general unhealthy and dangerous ideas to be promoted to young women. So why don't they? Where are posts discussing trad wife influences who encourage their followers to give themselves fully to their husbands control, usually leading to white supremacist ideas. Where are the posts about "witches" (in commas because I do not think these people are genuine practicing witches, not because i don't respect or recognise wicca as a religion) who convince their followers to go off psychiatric medications because their mental illness is actually a divine gift, or that their womb is a sacred female blessing where all their power lies, and that this energy is submissive and caring like a hearth (that women without wombs aren't women at all, they lack this natural inclination to submission and motherhood that a divine goddess bestowed us, the real women, who need men to balance our divine energies). Where are call outs of influences who promote skin care and makeup products they don't use, making young girls buy and buy and buy in hopes of looking like their idols. Hell, where are the call outs for influences who encourage their users to stop using fucking sunblock, either because it's anti-aging and part of the toxic beauty culture, or that scientists are lieing to you and it actually causes sunscreen (I've even seen posts on Tumblr promoting ditching your sunscreen because of the whole "anti aging" angle. I think some Northern Hemisphere people are genuinly so fucking dillusional they very preventable cancer isnt a problem. Hi, I'm from the Southern Hemisphere, wear fucking sunscreen every time you go outside, skin cancer is real, the sun causes it, having melanoma lazered off is expensive.) For Christ's sake what about the MLMs???

These people who loooove talking about how their shitting on popular TikTok trends is actually feminism never discuss ACTUALLY harmful content on the app. They just look at whatever is popular with women and girls, think up a bad faith argument, and then send off posts complaining about it. Girl Dinner is going to cause eating disorders, girl math discourages women to study in stem and encourages them to act stupid, everything showers are upholding unfair beauty standards, these women are destroying society as we know it! Like you reek of mysogyny, and you probably won't read this post because your too busy getting sucked into a community of reactionaries who can't stop crying about how younger generations aren't media literate and don't know how to use Microsoft Word and use TikTok as google and all these other big bad scary headlines you never bothered reading the actual article for. You'll reblog screenshot of women saying "university is so hard, I wish I could just drop out and be a house wife" where Malala left a frown emoji comment and go "looks at these insolent hussies, I bet Malala is so sad they're wasting a gift she fought for!" as if women haven't been making the same joke for years and years, with no intent to follow through, because university is fucking hard and an idealized housewife life seems easy on some days. Malala got the fucking joke, she left a silly emoji to express 1) some women don't have this opportunity and 2) I'm sad not all women have this opportunity but 3) I can recognise how difficult studying is, and that sometimes an idealized version of life is easier to imagine, I get that you're just venting your frustrations but I'll leave this funny little emoji to remind you to keep working hard. She gets the joke. The girls posting, get the joke. I got the joke. But you choose to lament.

So yeah, I'm super annoyed by the way people on Tumblr act like women on TikTok are stupid, incapable or critical thinking, and stripping away women's rights. Instead of actually talking about ways women's rights are taken from them, or harmful communities that sell radicalisation and mysogyny to young girls, you chose Girl Dinner, I bet they're really proud of that choice too.

#Not checking spelling cause nobody is gonna read this #But it's so fucking annoying to see thinly veiled hate painted as feminism or whatever #Okay bestie I'm sure you've got great intentions tell me again how these women are stupid and clueless to their actions haha

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Oh, I so liked your art of Eira and Six, and if you'll do their children, I would love to see them too, and I'm sure they'll all have highest rewards!

Also, interesting fact, I just realised that monsuno characters drawn so proportional, that my face is literally Six's face, but with dark circles and hair. It felt so weird to see something terribly familliar in Six, and more weird to realise it's exacly your own face.

Also, I'm playing one game, now I wont name it, and it has Eclipse kingdom Dynasty, who were very technological, but royal's right hand scientist decided to became a God, and all kingdom perished from Head Celestial God's anger, and pure blooded dudes became immortal seeing their half blood families turn into terrible monsters and lately got killed, even children.

Also, Sun(o) dudes here kinda exist here. Also, that alchemist made around 5-6 clones, and only one survived as he thought, but later revealed two others too, one of them was killed, and one run away, and other dead one is surely know to be a giant bloody dragon. Also, that clone alive, he said that one day he would turn into giant monster and kill everyone and asks main character to save everyone from him when that happens. Also, main character is sun(o) dude, and this clone and one his alive brother is not just that eclipse scientist's clone, but main character's too. Just like we know where.

And Eclipse kingdom is underground kingdom, and is in desert, and there were their underground high Tech hqs, a lot, with robots, controling rooms and everything.

Also, there is one shit, one of guards of royal family was pure blooded eclipse dude, and after a few hundred years after destruction he was traveling, seeing his people dying, get killed, turned into monsters, and he tells main character that they cant be saved. But he lies, cause we later reveal that not so long after everyone perished King found way to take off curse. And instead of seeking for it or use it directly, he just was wandering around, crying over everyone and telling "oh no, poor hooman, they cant be saved, but it's so sad to kill them, but I need too, so saaad". Piece of fuck. I really wanted to kill him because of that. And if someone helping his nation, even if it's SAFE WAY, he just stop them with main character and lying down and cry about what they cant do anything, but they know they can.

The art style in Monsuno is rather unique in terms that it looks easy to draw and it’s inspired by anime, but it still looks like the artists have drawn them in rather almost realistic proportions and Six is a good one to choose to study because he’s a basic look person that you can study his anatomy and practice him and after you’ve drawn him repeatedly, there’s a chance he just helped you get better in drawing the basic male anatomy.

Now…

Anon, I did read the entire post, and I did like it since it can be linked to Six and Eira and Monsuno, but considering how some gaming fandoms work here in tumblr, I don’t want to get flooded by people within the fandom who might know what we’re talking about. I myself play a pretty popular Asian gaming app that has elements of horror and dress up and have liked art from its fandom, but I don’t engage with them since I don’t always play the game and I have missed a ton of lore during my time not playing it and really I don’t want to get things wrong if it annoys people.

Still, thank you for telling me this entire lore, it truly is interesting since it shows how the developers really want their story to shine, and thank you for the good luck on Six and Eira’s children. I truly hope that they can achieve their parents’ achievements, but considering the limit of awards in the art competition is three ribbons, I have to be strategic about them and place them in the correct categories.

#anon ask #ask_TCD #monsuno

[fangirlinglikeabus]

Your Hand Feels So Grand In Mine - Chapter 1

Summary: On the day of her eighteenth birthday, Fanny is shocked to find the name of a woman on her wrist. At first, she ignores it, but things get a bit more complicated when Mary Crawford herself shows up at Mansfield Park. A soulmate AU feat. racebending. Warnings for internalised homophobia, canon typical mistreatment of Fanny. 

can also be found on fanfiction.net and ao3

Don't take my arm too much

Don't keep your hand in mine

Your hand feels so grand in mine

People will say we're in love

- ‘People Will Say We’re In Love’, from Oklahoma!

It was commonly known, at the time, that upon the event of someone reaching their eighteenth birthday, two - or more, in some, rarely talked about, cases - signatures appeared on their wrists. One had the name of their soulmate, the person best suited for them in life, romantically or otherwise (again, these latter people were never talked about, except for when the name was of someone of the same gender. It truly is amazing, the number of truths thought inconvenient until they suddenly become useful). The other had the name of the person they would, or had already, convinced themselves was their soulmate, whether consciously or no. Of course, as is the way of these things, no one ever knew which was which, except by their own inference, or, if they were lucky, events which exposed one or the other. Many young people, eager to meet their soulmate, married quickly, only to discover that there had been a mistake; that their new spouse was not, in fact, the right of the persons on their wrists. This rarely impeded marriages for long; a soulmate may be a person's perfect match, but many imperfect ones are often made with some success. It is a simple fact that a marriage will work if it is formed with love and respect. Even marriages where those values were absent could often function if the two members showed enough skill at avoiding one other.

Henry Crawford was somewhat of an outlier. On his eighteenth birthday, only one name formed, on his left wrist; Henry had never set much store by soulmates, or really, truly falling in love outside of an idle flirtation, and so, accordingly, he had never and would never become so deeply in love that he could possibly believe that person and him to be destined. Unless, of course, the object of his love was, truly, the one most suited to him in all the world. Even then, the name was faded, barely legible unless you chose to look closely, which Henry didn't. His sister Mary, on the other hand…well, Mary looked very carefully indeed at things which could further her own self-interest, and considered her brother's soulmate to fall squarely into that category. She spent two years carefully studying the words on her brother's wrist, memorising the script, the name.

So her own eighteenth birthday came as quite a shock. On her right wrist was Mary Crawford, scrawled carelessly in large, elegant letters (she laughed silently, and knew this to be the false name - she may very well convince herself, or have convinced herself in the past, that she was the only person good for her, but it was unlikely to be true. It faded, but remained visible, etched onto her dark brown skin). On her left was a familiar, small script - almost as if its owner feared irritating someone by taking up too much paper. It was much bolder than it was on her brother, but still…she had looked at it for long enough in that state to recognise it on sight.

Fanny Price.

Mary stared at her wrist absently for a moment, thought briefly what a shame it was that she and Henry were predestined to be rivals, then resolved to start wearing longer sleeves. After all, no matter how little she cared about the issue of having a female soulmate herself, it wouldn't do to scandalise society quite that much. A fortune of twenty thousand pounds can do many things, but it is not so strong an incentive that people would forget such a thing, and welcome such a person into their homes.

Far away and several years later, Fanny Price started crying.

Written on one of her wrists, in the perfectly formed writing which was so familiar to her, was the name Edmund Bertram.

That was enough of a problem - the necessity of hiding it from the Bertrams did not exactly please her - but it was not the reason for her tears.

The other wrist said Mary Crawford.

Steps on the stairs! Fanny quickly pulled the sleeves of her nightdress down to hide the words, in case whoever it was chose to enter the room suddenly.

A knock on the door. A quiet, "Fanny?" Of course; who else but Edmund would have wasted their time on her? She called for him to wait, and quickly got dressed, making sure to wear a thick dress, even though the July sun was already shining through the windows. One which was most likely to hide her secret.

Edmund was standing there, neatly dressed (of course he was; Edmund made it a careful habit to be awake and ready for the day - and above all, tidy - before anyone else) and wearing a concerned expression on his handsome, pale face. Fanny's heart swelled, but as it did so, her left wrist (the one which she was so aware had his name on it) began to itch, and so she forced the feeling down and smiled at him, trying to ignore, as she did so, the few tears still making their way down her face.

"Well, ah," Edmund looked embarrassed, "I was curious as to whether you would be prepared to show your soulmates to any of your family? Of course, you are not obligated to...to show your aunts, or your other cousins, but perhaps..?"

The implication of his question hung in the air between them. Perhaps you would show me?

Here, Fanny had a problem. She truly loved her cousin (the name had forced her to acknowledge that as fact), but she felt, just as truly, that she could not show him either wrist.

"I-I would really rather not, cousin Edmund," she made herself say, and tried not to notice the disappointment in his expression, or the voice in her head that sounded like Mrs Norris - always Mrs Norris! - telling her that she was selfish, that Edmund deserved to know, and that she was being ungrateful. Alas, she was not successful - the simple refusal of her cousin's request had wracked poor Fanny so much that she began to cry again. Panic crossed Edmund's face, just for a moment, before a more soothing expression took its place.

"Fanny, I should apologise. It was wrong for me to ask something so personal of you, especially when I haven't even showed you either of my names. Come, compose yourself, and once you feel prepared, I shall escort you down to breakfast."

Soon enough, the door opened on Edmund again, and Fanny, the fresh tears still drying on her face and her eyes turned slightly pink from crying, took his arm. He served as a calming presence, even without speaking, and Fanny soon felt as close to her normal self as she could, with the knowledge that the name of a woman sat on her right wrist.

The calm was soon gone away again, for the rest of the Bertram family - apart from, mercifully, her uncle, who, along with her cousin Tom, was in Antigua for the moment - despite their usual dismissiveness of Fanny, were suddenly crowding her, demanding she give up her secret. No matter how much she quietly refused, they continued to pester until the poor girl was quite in tears again. Edmund made an attempt to stop them, perhaps slightly tempered by his own curiosity, but it came to no avail. Maria and Julia chose a simple method, asking the same question over, and when there was a failure to answer that, making angry demands. Tom, if he had been there, would have no doubt joined them; there was something to be grateful about in his absence. Lady Bertram, when finally appealed to by her children, seemed barely to understand what was going on, so distracted she had been, but as soon as her children gave a (strongly biased, of course) account, she made an offer of whatever presents Fanny would like if she would only show them, and really, whatever the names were, they could not be so very bad. Throughout all this, Fanny stayed silent, only made increasingly miserable by the questioning. It was amazing how much noise so few people could make, and she was almost tempted to give in. But fear - a greater fear than the consequences of her refusal - held her back.

"If you do not tell us," Maria said, more petulantly than could be thought possible for a young woman of twenty-one, "then when our father comes home, we shall have to tell him that you have been keeping secrets from us, and then he will force you to tell us."

Fanny was terrified of her uncle; Maria knew this, and spoke hoping - correctly, it seemed - that on weighing her uncle seeing her wrists against the rest of the family doing the same, the latter was the lesser fear. Fanny, with shaking hands, began to roll up her sleeves.

The Bertrams craned to see the names. Edmund started, slightly, on seeing his own written in bold black.

For one brief, horrible moment, everyone seemed to freeze - even Lady Bertram, who usually showed so little interest in anything not related to herself or her beloved Pug.

"Oh, how boring," Maria complained. "They are only platonic soulmates."

Julia frowned at her sister. "Are you certain, Maria? How can you be sure?"

She scoffed. "Is it not obvious? Why, with one of the names female, and the other that of our very own brother, how could there possibly be any hint of romance?"

And then the Bertrams' fleeting interest with their poorer cousin was gone, and as breakfast was served it seemed the entire issue was forgotten, the only indication to the contrary being the way Julia's eyes rested on Fanny for longer than usual, a flicker of curiosity igniting them. But for Fanny, whose mind was always ready to be filled with worry, and who, after all, was now fully, uncomfortably aware that her interest in Edmund was romantic, it sat there in her mind, as the days moved by ever so slowly. Minor, day to day worries, usually at the forefront of her mind, quickly vanished, but Mary Crawford, sitting as it did on her wrist, remained. Fanny grew pale; she spoke to no-one, not even her beloved Edmund. If the Bertrams had deigned to pay attention to her, they would have no doubt of the cause. As it was, the world moved much as it usually did, with only the insignificance of the change in Fanny's mood to affect it. And, inevitably, given some time, and the lack of suspicion shown by the family, she calmed. Edmund's name was a worry, of course, but one which she could force herself to ignore; though it caused her pain, it was a bearable pain, within the realm of acceptable human experience. And as for the other name, well, she wasn't leaving her home, and what was the likelihood that this Mary Crawford would come to her?

"A parsonage?" Mary asked incredulously. "In the countryside?"

"I am afraid so," Henry said, his words laced with faux-solemnity. "I am sure I do not know how we will cope! The savagery of it all! Although, of course, you would not have a problem at all if you had simply…gotten along with our uncle. Is it really so hard for you to like him, Mary?"

"Well I suppose it shall be nice to see our sister after such a long time away from each other," Mary continued, rather pointedly ignoring her brother. They had had similar conversations all throughout the time they had lived with Admiral Crawford. Nothing would come of it if she chose to argue; she could not convince him of the man's wickedness any more than he could convince her of his virtue. "At the very least, there will no doubt be some rich eldest son nearby, to flirt with."

"Unfortunately not," Henry said, pouring himself a glass of port from the decanter sat on the table. "An associate of mine has informed me - after I enquired, knowing your partiality to such men - that the gentleman in question has gone off to Antigua with his father. A shame, but I am sure you will cope; I hear his brother is a respectable young man."

Mary sighed. "I hold no stock by "respectable young men", Henry. Second sons yield no interest for me."

"Not even the second son of a baronet, as I am told is the case here? Ah, well. I suppose you shall simply have to waste away, without an eldest son to enjoy."

"You seem to think me to be so exceedingly shallow that my sole focus is men. I shall tell you now, Henry, that it is entirely untrue. Why, I am tempted to enjoy myself despite his absence, just to spite you!"

"Mary," Henry said, taking a large swig of his drink, "please believe me when I tell you that nothing would make me happier. Now, shall you write to our sister, or shall I?"

"Mrs Grant informs us that her brother and sister, children of her mother's second marriage, will be joining her and Mr Grant in the parsonage," Edmund said, with an uncharacteristic nervousness underlying his words.

"I am sure they will be people of a most agreeable sort," Fanny said quietly. "But, cousin, since I am certain to be far too busy to join you in entertaining our guests-"

"They are two young people by the names of Henry and Mary Crawford," Edmund said quickly. "Perhaps Mrs Norris and my mother would permit you to join the rest of us, rather than running chores? They have been invited to dine with us, anyway, so you will not miss them entirely."

Fanny said nothing; all of a sudden, she was very pale, and her hands shook slightly where they rested on the table.

"Miss Crawford is one of the names on your wrists. Perhaps it would be best if you became acquainted with the woman who could potentially become your closest friend."

"If you…" Fanny's throat was suddenly dry. She gulped. "If you think it to be best, Edmund."

"Fanny, of course I think it to be best," Edmund said gently. "But this is for your benefit, not mine. Sometimes I feel as if, well, as if you have no friends outside of myself - indeed, you have perhaps had no opportunity make friends, as sheltered as you are here, and…perhaps you would enjoy the benefit of Miss Crawford's company."

Enjoying the pleasure of Miss Crawford's company was exactly what terrified Fanny, of course. But Edmund was not to know that, nor would she wish him to know.  Besides, she could not wholly avoid her if they were coming to dine - even in her nervousness she was able to admit that to starve herself would be a silly thing to do, solely to avoid a person. And it was Edmund requesting this of her; his younger cousin had never been known to refuse anything he suggested.  And so it was that she found herself sitting with the rest of the family, not so patiently waiting for the arrival of Mr and Miss Crawford, along with their half sister and her husband.

"Oh, do stop fidgeting, Fanny!" Mrs Norris snapped. Fanny flinched.

"Yes, Fanny, do stop fidgeting," Lady Bertram echoed absentmindedly. "We must give these young people a good first impression of life here."

"I hardly think that the Crawfords will be so absorbed with ideas of propriety as to care about one of our number moving as slightly as Fanny has done," Edmund said calmly.

The clock ticked by.  

"Oh, when shall they arrive?" Maria exclaimed loudly. She stood up and began to pace about the room. "It is not polite to be late for a dinner engagement."

After an age, one of the servants stepped into the room to announce "Dr and Mrs Grant, Mr and Miss Crawford."

Mrs Grant came in first, greeting them all, thanking them for their hospitality, and apologising profusely for their lateness.

"We would have arrived here this half an hour gone, except Mary, I am afraid, took so long getting ready-"

Mary cut her off. "I find it infinitely preferable to be late, and well dressed, than on time, nay, even early, and an embarrassment to rich young women everywhere." She smiled, and in her expression was something which tempted even the most hard hearted to forgive any transgression.

Edmund cleared his throat and stood up. "Miss Crawford. Mr Crawford," he said, bowing to both of them in turn. "A pleasure to meet you both. I am Edmund Bertram. May I present my mother Lady Bertram, my aunt Mrs Norris, my sisters Miss Maria Bertram and Miss Julia Bertram, and, of course, our cousin Miss Fanny Price."

Mary glanced at Henry, to see if she could glean any expression from his countenance. Nothing. She smiled again, more subdued this time. "It is a pleasure to meet you all." Her eyes rested on Fanny.

Something about the way Mary was looking at her unnerved Fanny. She shifted uncomfortably.

"Fanny!" Mrs Norris snapped again. She smiled apologetically at their guests. "You must excuse Miss Price; she is but a poor dependant, tragically uneducated until we brought her here, eight years ago. Please," she gestured to the chairs, "will not you sit? There is some time yet until the food will be prepared."

Mary graciously seated herself, as did her brother. All the while, her eyes remained fixed on Fanny, who was doing her best to avoid staring back.

Throughout the conversation, throughout dinner and the time after it, neither spoke to the other, but every so often, Fanny would give into temptation and stare back. There was something compelling in Mary's eyes. They seemed to sparkle at some amusement unknown to any but herself, and, perhaps, someone else too, if only they would draw closer.

Fanny looked away, blushing.

"Are you quite pleased, Henry?" Mary asked on their way back to the parsonage. They walked far ahead of Doctor and Mrs Grant; the two of them walked far slower due to the good doctor's unfortunate affliction of gout, and in fact wouldn't have walked at all if it hadn't been suggested in some quarter due to the pleasantness of the evening.

"Oh, yes, quite pleased," Henry affirmed. "With Maria and Julia both. In fact, I found the company so pleasing that I have been considering extending my visit."

"Oh?" Mary raised an eyebrow. "And what about dear Miss Fanny Price?"

He laughed. "You noticed that, did you?"

"You seem to think," she shot back, "that I am somehow oblivious of all about you. I cannot think why that is, since I usually find myself knowing you better than you know yourself."

"I suppose that I have never put much effort into hiding it," Henry said flippantly. He was silent for a moment. "I have decided," he said eventually, "that I should rather like to have some fun with Miss Price. She seems awfully boring. And who better to make her more…interesting than Mr Henry Crawford? I am sure a girl of her standing will fall at least slightly in love with someone who shows that she is his "soulmate"." He laughed.

Mary said nothing. Henry was foolish to think he would be safe from love forever, especially if he chose to flirt so blatantly with his soulmate.

Now, what about her own connection to Fanny Price? Mary rubbed absentmindedly at her left wrist. It could, she supposed, be rather diverting to fall in love.

"I am disappointed in you, Fanny," Edmund said solemnly, as they sat, secluded, in the old East Room Fanny had made her own. "I would have thought you to be more keen to befriend Mary Crawford."

"I am afraid that I am much too shy for that," Fanny said quietly.

"Well, in that case, I shall organise it so that the two of you spend some time together," Edmund declared. "It was no doubt the amount of people in the room that made it difficult for you." Fanny found that she couldn't disagree. A part of her still hoped that she wouldn't fall in love with Mary, that she didn't even have the capacity to love a woman in that way. But she couldn't bring herself to believe it, not quite, when the way Mary had looked at her still rested on her mind.

#mansfield park #fanny price #mary crawford #fanfiction #femslash #writing fanfiction like a bus #your hand feels so grand in mine #(to collect the entire thing) #*screams* #GOD i will literally kill someone if tumblr decides to fuck the posting of this up #also...why doesn't it keep formatting when you paste like i literally had to go back thru this chapter and italicise everything again