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sonofcoulson · 11 months

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1948 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series 1

Howard finally opens the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency and makes Peggy director. The SSR keep the Playground base and are absorbed into S.H.I.E.L.D. as their research division.

Howard's greater authority and larger amount of resources from the government (as well as his own) allow them to pull in more heroes.

S.H.I.E.L.D. will fight terrorist cells and non-state actors, investigate supernatural phenomena, also deal with and cover up powered people cos the general public "can't handle the truth". This is part of their mandate from the government and S.H.I.E.L.D. is threatened with closure or refusal of funding many times for trying to circumvent this aspect of their role within said government.

Director Carter is trying to maintain a long distance relationship with Sousa and has to investigate the "hit" on Agent Thomson.

Zodiac is the main story for this series.

Zodiac is behind the assassination attempt, with the council of 9 previously being under them. Vernon Masters returns to do their bidding (never saw a body right?). Peggy's brother has been alive all this time and it was his redacted file that Thomson was to smear Peggy with and not actually Peggy's (Michael's name and d.o.b. were redacted just leaving the surname Carter and informants that heavily implied that it was Peggy). With the smear failed, the Zodiac group want it back, for safe keeping. Thomson is the only one outside of the Zodiac or the council of 9 that has read it, so he was supposed to be killed, but they hired Dottie to do it and she was able to make it look like she was trying to kill him without killing him ("if I'd wanted to kill him he'd be dead"). She arranges a meet with Peggy in a subterfugey way, info dumps, insists she really was trying to be helpful by taking the hit job, and manages to wriggle away again.

Zodiac is led by Marcus Lassiter (A buff Milo Ventimiglia with a cool beard). Marcus has the codename Aries and wears ram horns at the meetings which seems silly at first till we realise they are functional and they all have silly costumes. Marcus has super-human strength, which we don't see initially.

All of the Zodiac members have themed powers/tech:

Taurus (Cornelius Van Lunt) has bought his seat on the board and isn't afraid to use that fact. He has a bull's head costume. He also has dangerous horns.

Gemini (Joshua and Damian Link) are identical twins have identical costumes and carry identical dual wielding pistols. They have an amazing synergy when they fight as a duo. They only get one vote between them.

Cancer (Jack Kleveno) has a crab costume. That is all I have to say about that.

Leo (Daniel Radford) is a dude in a lion suit. It has a lion mask and an exoskeleton that gives the wearer enhanced strength, agility and durability.

Virgo (Elaine McLaughlin) has an extraterrestrial material coating her suit which gives her great durability and shock absorption. It also allows her to heal/regenerate herself or others. In my head, crab man gets injured by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Elaine comes back and gets captured just to heal her secret crustacean lover.

Libra (Gustav Brandt) has a hi tec blindfold that allows him limited psychic abilities and a teleportation ring. Martial artist too.

Scorpio (Jake Fury) has a costume with venom blasts and neurotoxic sprays. Yes. That Fury. In the comics he is Nick's brother. Here he would have to be his dad. In the series he is only referred to as Jake initially to keep his identity a slight surprise.

Sagittarius (Harlan Vargas) has an eye mask that grants enhanced vision and tracking abilities. He is highly skilled with a bow and arrow.

Capricorn (Willard Weir) is green. I'm thinking they're an alien. This superpower ideas site says Capricorn might have shape shifting abilities so they could be a Skrull masquerading as a Willard Weir.

Aquarius (Michael Carter) has a water based costume and weapons. Michael was not happy with the smear on Peggy but went along with it for fear of repercussions. But now her life is under threat, so he leaves warnings for her to help her avoid getting killed. Eventually Aries discovers the betrayal and beats Michael to death in his secret apartment. Peggy comes across the apartment as part of the S.H.I.E.L.D. investigation and discovers the body. She realises he was the one giving warnings (to help them avoid traps, ambushes etc) and finds a note he wrote for her when he knew Aries was coming for him. It's written in their shared childhood code. It explains his motivations (he was trying to change the world for the better) and gives some info about what Zodiac are going to do next. Zachary Drebb is the second Aquarius.

Piesces (Noah Perricone) is blue and looks like he'd be good in the water so I'm thinking Talokanil

S.H.I.E.L.D. discover there is an off-books SSR mole on the inside. They are furious with Flynn for not telling them straight away. Flynn thought it would compromise the mole's safety.

As the Zodiac members are arrested or killed during the S.H.I.E.L.D. investigation, Jake Fury is revealed as the SSR mole. He tries to escape with the actual Zodiac key but it corrupts him and he tries to incite rebellion within the remaining Zodiac council members to effect social change. This just causes everyone to squabble and fight. Aries finds this amusing, but comes for Jake nevertheless. Jake ends up losing the key back to Aries, but escapes with his life.

Aries reveals himself as an actual god at the end of the series. He was cast out by Zeus for causing too much trouble in Omnipotence City and bound to be peaceful. He has taken that to mean he can't fight personally and has been manipulating world events with extracts from the aforementioned Zodiac Key to cause as much conflict as possible. The S.H.I.E.L.D. team have been annoying him by thwarting his plans. He says he is tired of being subtle.

They need the whole team, including Dottie, Sousa, Thomson and the Howling commandos using Stark tech and the Human Torch (Jim), Union Jack II (Brian) and Spitfire (Jacqueline). Peggy also calls in a favour from California based Adam Brashear (aka Blue Marvel) to help take him down. As Adam was the love interest from the previous series, this risks embarrassment for Peggy and could possibly end her relationship with Sousa, but the stakes are too high not to.

Ultimately Jim is the only one not affected by the Zodiac key and has to go Supernova to knock him out. He knew he was becoming unstable and had been advised he might go supernova, he just decides to do it on purpose. Heroic sacrifice! The team is devastated at the loss.

A relationship between Jim and Jacqueline would be built up through the series so she would take this the hardest.

Zeus could come and actually bind Ares with power dampening bangles. This physically prevents him from conflict instead of just getting his word. He is captured and will not be seen again till Dark Avengers.

S.H.I.E.L.D. recommends Adam for a commendation and Jim for a posthumous one. The CIA intervene and say that not only will no one will be getting one but no one must hear of it. The existence of gods and aliens is very much covered up at the behest of the American government so as not to cause mass hysteria. No one outside of the President and the people who were at the final battle know anything about it.

Adam is told he cannot be publicly rewarded and is no longer allowed to fight crime (he has been fighting crime in a costume and mask to hide his identity) as the CIA believe the world is not ready for a black superhero. The President reluctantly confirms this. S.H.I.E.L.D. must assign him a handler (he is so going to fight crime).

As Jim was essentially a sentient weapon the CIA won't publicly acknowledge his existence and stipulate he must be buried in the desert in an indestructible airtight box. The President reluctantly confirms this too.

Dottie disappears after making a significant contribution and manages to stay off radar until the first Black Widow movie…

Peggy and Sousa decide to carry on with their long distance relationship.

Namor shows up when he finds out about Noah. He is not happy that his citizen was defeated and arrested and he vows never to return. He is also not happy with said citizen for acting without his consent and forces S.H.I.E.L.D. to release him into Talokanil custody. He is sorry about Jim Hammond's passing though and stays for the burial in a secret S.H.I.E.L.D. location in the desert.

Post credits:- Peggy calls Marlene Frazier and asks, as she has been with Adam this whole time anyway, if she'll be his handler. He comes home and gives her a kiss, they have developed a relationship while working together. She says she is happy to keep an eye on him.

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elgaberino-mcoc · 1 year

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MARVEL'S THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER has been added to the MCOC Wishlist

Marvel picked up where Mary Shelley's classic novel left off. He hunts his creator's descendants, but sides with heroes otherwise. He is a very long-running, oft-recurring Marvel character, and deserves votes

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espinosaurusrexex · 8 months

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Happy Little Accidents

Veteran!BuckyBarnes x Female!ArtTeacher!Reader

summary: In a world after the war, Bucky tries to get pieces of his old self back by joining an art class. He meets you and instantly falls head over heels. Now he just has to work up the courage to ask you out.

a/n: wrote most of this on my lunch break after finally feeling the creativity spark again. I hope you all get a cozy fall feeling.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: adapting to life after war, frustration, a little angst, love-dazed Bucky, just so much fluff and wholesomeness 💕

･ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ

↑ the face of a man too whipped to listen - this is the Bucky vibe today

Steve Rogers was an artist. A lot of people knew about it. Hell, the Smithsonian even had a gallery full of sketches from a notebook of Steve’s he had lost back in ‘45. But Steve never needed people to recognize his work. Just like he never needed all the fame that came with his shield or all the honors he got for doing what he thought normal human decency implied - stopping bullies.

But what not many people knew was that Steve loved his art so much, he even held little sketch workshops in the camps on the western front. He drew each member of the howling commandos with impeccable accuracy. He loved drawing portraits and he loved to help.

Which was why, sooner or later, Bucky had been talked into trying his first sketches back in the day as well. Back when he was still left-handed, back when he found joy in little things such as drawing with his best friend. Back when he was not who he was now.

Yeah, he was bitter about it...

Bucky wasn’t too shabby of an artist per se. He was rather quick with his sketches always able to find the right spot for his next line and even though they weren’t perfect, one could always see what his pictures were meant to present.

Yes, they were crooked and not nearly as good as Steve’s but he had fun with it. Sketching had been an escape for his soul while bombs were exploding only miles away from his camp. It had reminded him of his best friend when they were apart, and most importantly, it taught him patience.

God, so much patience.

Bucky had never been good with it. Always fast, always right away. But the amount of times Steve made him erase carefully constructed lines and shapes had him feel scolded like a kid.

Later, he was grateful for it.

Now? He hated just touching a pencil. Every time he was reminded of his recovery, of months of frustration and anger, of grief and sadness. All because he’d lost his arm, and with it, all that had brought him joy in life.

When he had to learn to write with his right hand, he screamed at the papers before him, the crooked and shaky lines mocking him with vigor.

You’ll never be the same, they said, You’ll never have true joy back.

He felt like a child. Unable to do the most mundane of tasks, whilst fully aware of what had to be done to get it right.

But he missed it. The way drawing would clear his mind and the ease he felt when thinking of nothing but the next step in the process.

So after a particularly frustrating session with his therapist, Bucky had walked through a gallery on his way home. Beautiful pieces, each more impressive than the next hung on bright white walls until he reached a small corner with sketches and photographs. They weren’t less good than the rest, but other than the huge paintings, they seemed approachable - and they reminded him of times far gone.

“Hello, would you be interested in signing up for a sketching class?” An angelic voice had asked after holding a leaflet into his line of sight. And when he followed the hand up to your face, his breath hitched in his throat.

“I- I don’t think I’d be any good…” he had said with a pitiful smile as his left arm raised next to his head, the sleek silver of his hand shining in the showroom light.

“Oh don’t be silly. Everyone can be an artist.”

And that was all it took.

Now he was here. Sitting in a room with about eight other people, listening to you talk. Though Bucky didn’t pay much attention to your words. He was distracted by the way your lips curved when you spoke, and how your hands looked in the light when you flailed them in the air. He wanted to draw you, only you. But he knew he could never do you justice. And that frustrated him a little.

His first task was easy. A series of connected squiggles and shapes. The second was harder - finding and highlighting familiar motives in his work. But when he tried to connect his shapes, his hand began to tremble and the line on his paper got dented, he huffed in surrender.

A look to the front to you talking with another woman and he was getting off his chair.

This was useless. He should have never come here.

But when he moved to gather his things, your voice stopped him once again.

“Oh that’s interesting,” you said with a tilted head, your eyes following the little dent in his drawing.

“Yeah, I messed it up.” He shook his head and added a careful, much more quiet ‘I always do”.

“You see, it’s only a mistake if you make it one.” You turned to him and smiled and his heart began racing now that all your attention was on him. Bucky looked around to see if anyone noticed, but the other participants were all focused on their work. “I’m not going to tell you that this line isn’t supposed to be the way it is. You alone can decide that.”

You stepped closer as he eyed his paper again. “So, Bucky,” holy crap you remembered his name. And it sounded so good coming from your lips. “Are you gonna make it a mistake or not?”

❁ ❁ ❁

That was a month ago. And Bucky had come to your class every Sunday night since then. But now his crush had only intensified.

Every time you stepped behind him to watch him work, his hand began to sweat. Every time you gave him a suggestion, his eyes were so drawn to your lips, he barely heard what you were saying. Just yesterday this had caused him to get into a particularly awkward situation. He hadn’t listened, of course - those stupid mesmerizing lips of yours were at fault for it. And when Bucky finally came back from his daydream of imagining what they would feel like on his lips, he knocked over a jar of water as he noticed you had moved next to him. And to make matters even worse, you had caught him talking to himself as he cleaned up the mess.

Bucky was beyond embarrassed. He wasn’t normally that clumsy, all his moves were calculated. No limb out of control, but when you were around, he seemed to have lost that trait of his - which was actually kind of nice...

He was in deep. And he didn’t know how to handle it.

He was contemplating never going back to your class. He would probably end up ruining somebody’s work and - besides - it wasn’t like he could ever work up the courage to ask you out. It was just all too scary.

“Bucky, is that you?” Bucky froze as he studied the coffee menu above the barista. He was going to order black anyway. But the voice that called out his name almost made him want to pretend he was still studying the sign.

“Bucky.” Your voice came closer and when you were standing next to him, he finally looked at you. And there you were, with a bright smile and a scarf shielding you from the cool fall breeze outside.

“Oh, hey.” He paused, treading, not knowing what to do with his hands or pretty much any part of his body. At least, in your workshop, he had something to do. “...hey.”

“It’s nice to see you, how’s your homework going?” You rubbed your hands together to warm them and at the sight of your delicate fingers, he felt his cheeks heating up when he imagined holding them.

“It’s... well, it’s going...” He sighed and watched his feet as they shuffled on the tiled floor. “It’s not going well if I’m being honest.” And with a shy smile, he rubbed the back of his neck, watching as you nodded in understanding.

“I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes it really helps to just get started without thinking about it too much.”

He chuckled. That was exactly his problem. Because every time he wanted to start, he wondered what you would think about it. And then his thoughts drifted to you entirely and how your neck would bend when you watched him draw over his shoulder, or how your fingers swayed over his artwork to point out the parts you were talking about. God, he loved when you did that.

“-only if you want, of course.” Your nose crinkled when Bucky’s mind brought him back to the coffee shop again. You were staring at him expectantly, your smile growing nervous with every second he took to register that you had just asked him a question.

Bucky had no idea what you had just said. He had been too lost in his daydream yet again and now he made you look stupid in the middle of this coffee shop. There wasn’t much time to decide what his response would be, but under no circumstance did he want to admit just how scattered he was around you. So without thinking, he just nodded with a tight-lipped smile and willed his knees to stay strong when your eyes brightened.

“Awesome! When are you free?” Free? Did you just ask him out and he hadn’t even paid attention?

“Uh, Sunday?” Bucky stammered as his heart began to pound in his chest. This has got to be a prank.

You laughed, and Bucky got weak in the knees. “Sunday is workshop, silly.”

Stupid, stupid, Bucky. “Right, uh... Friday then.” The rapid beat in his chest took his breath away.

“Okay, great. Here give me your phone so I can give you my number.”

“You’re–“ Bucky choked as his hands scrambled to fish his phone out of his pocket. “Yes, yeah sure, cool.” Cool? Oh god.

You took it from him, entered your contact with a little paintbrush emoji, called yourself, and handed it back to his sweaty hand.

“I’ll text you my address.” You stepped forward to pay and retrieve your coffee, gifting the barista a smile that made him blush - apparently, you were a regular because Bucky did not remember you ordering - but then again - he didn’t really pay attention apparently. “Oh, and bring your art supplies!”

And then you were out the door, letting crisp air into the cozy coffee shop, and Bucky standing dazed and confused as to what had just happened.

❁ ❁ ❁

Bucky stared at his phone for the fifth time now, making sure he was in front of the right door before ringing the bell. He was nervous, to say the least. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was on a date, not to mention the last time he felt this nervous about being on one. He was a strong believer in facts but you asking him out had to be a sign from the universe. One he would only get once and he could not screw it up.

His hands smoothed over his black button-up one last time before adjusting his leather jacket again. Then he rang the bell and not even a minute later, you greeted him with a warm smile and urged him to give you his jacket to hang up.

“I just made tea, do you want some?” Bucky followed you to the kitchen where the faint but homey scent of pumpkin spice filled the air. He watches as you scrambled to find your oven its and then retrieve something delicious smelling from the oven. “Cookies?”

“I’m good with tea for now.” He chuckled in awe at how nice your home felt. Once he could tear his eyes away from you, he peered over the kitchen island into your living room, where many different artworks and photographs were displayed on the walls. Every pillow on your sofa had a different color and the blankets sprawled on it and the chair were too inviting for him not to picture the both of you cuddled up beneath them.

“Alright then, suit yourself. But just know these are my specialty.” You snatched one from the tray before almost dropping it again. “Ouch, hot.”

Bucky felt drawn to the room. With all its warm light and fall-scented candles, hints of read books and discarded crocheting, with a crackling fireplace and soft carpeting. He also felt awfully intimate at the glimpse he got into your life by being here, but he had already declared this place his favorite in his mind.

“Are you ready?” Bucky turned to you and watched as you padded your hands on your jeans, leaving faint flour prints on the dark denim.

“Ready for what?” He smiled again, he seemed to be unable to stop around you. But he was just so happy to be here, to be close to you, and to finally spend more time with you.

You chuckled and set two cups of tea on the table. “For your sketches. That’s the whole reason you came here for, remember?”

You settled on the ground and padded the sofa for Bucky. But he could just stand there and stare at you while trying to ignore the lump that began to build in his throat. He clenched the bag with his art supplies in his hand and watched as the soft material wrinkled in his grasp.

Of, course. He took a breath. How could he have been so naive? Then stepped towards the sofa. The whole thing had been a mistake. And finally sat down with a heavy smile.

The sadness was filling him so fast, it threatened to spill right out of him, but Bucky wouldn’t let this little big dent in the road be shown in front of you. Instead, he focused on your hands when they pulled his sketch pad from his bag. And your eager smile when you flipped through his failed attempts on the paper.

The whole atmosphere was wearing a thin layer of sorrow all of a sudden, and Bucky felt his heartache when you leaned over to him to point out the parts you liked the most. Your perfume seemed just that much sweeter as if it were mocking him all of a sudden.

He didn’t listen. He just watched you with the same longing he’s had ever since he met you. Back to square one. Back to the distance he had with you before he foolishly thought you had asked him out. Except now he’d lost all the confidence left in him to take the next step.

Bucky let the evening wash over him. Trying to concentrate on your tips and examples, tasting the tea you had offered to him with the sweetest smile. And before he knew it, he was standing in front of your apartment building again - with a box of those pumpkin cookies in hand and a heart that felt heavier than the bricks he was staring at.

He sighed and began his walk back home.

❁ ❁ ❁

On Sunday he decided that he wouldn’t give up. Bucky didn't know what changed his mind. He just knew that he couldn’t stop thinking about you and him on that incredibly comfortable sofa of yours and the scent of your cedar and cinnamon candle which seemed to linger on his skin for days after his visit. He wanted to play the sketching games he had half-heartedly endured last time and he wanted to become a better artist.

Bucky had left your cookie box at home as an excuse to meet up with you again. And even though he was sweating ferociously when he approached you after class, you had agreed to meet with him again.

He’d left the gallery with a bright smile that evening. Excited for the next time he’d see you again and eager with daydreams on the subway home.

You and Bucky met up every week. Every time, spending a little longer not just drawing and it filled his heart with warmth and happiness. You shared laughter, and, in Bucky’s eyes, a growing connection with every passing meeting.

He learned about your dreams and aspirations and told you about his past, his interests, and his most treasured fantasies.

As weeks turned into months, Bucky found himself drawn to you in more ways than the warmth radiating from your smile he’d noticed the first day he met you, or your talent of calmly helping him in every way possible. He admired your passion for art, your kindness, and your enchanting presence. The fear and the shyness that had gripped him at first, slowly faded away - replaced by a sense of comfort when he was with you.

And soon he realized that there was nothing he didn’t love about you. This was how he got the courage to, on one calm evening spent on your sofa, between the colorful pillows he had been thinking about falling asleep on for weeks, place his hand in yours and intertwine your fingers with his.

“I got something for you,” he whispered between dialogues of the Halloween movie playing on TV, watching as your eyes aimed up at him with curiosity.

With reluctance, he peeled himself out of the warm blanket you shared and trudged to the sketchbook hidden in his bag. The initial idea had been dipped in silly confidence. But it was too late to back out now. He’d already told you about it.

So despite his nervous heartbeat, Bucky came back to the sofa and handed you the book.

“Open it,” he nudged when you carefully inspected the black leather binding, unaware of the confession hidden beneath.

And when you did, he felt he could read every expression on your face like a poem.

The book was filled with sketches of you. The first pages were scattered in hasty pencil drawings, misplaced lines, and unintentional dents. Then followed the section in which he had tried to pay attention to detail. The curve of your nose or the arch of your fingers when they pointed at his artwork. He could see them now, hovering over the sketches himself, and when you turned to the last page of the section, he could see the striking resemblance between them. And so did you. On the next turn, you revealed the latest portraits he’d added to the book - finally confident enough to attempt doing what he saw you as justice, to finally look past his mistakes - or happy little accidents as you called them - and just try it.

Bucky had discovered that your weekly sketch sessions had done him good. And that you had secretly given him back what he had mourned after for so long.

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you from the moment we met.” He whispered still, too afraid to break the moment you’d just created. “Thought it was time for me to tell you.”

Your eyes were glassy when you tore them from the pages in your hand, a shaky laugh escaping your lips when Bucky beamed down at you. “You did all of this for me-”

“Because of you,” he corrected and wiped a lonely tear from your cheek. “I never thought I could get the joy of drawing back until you showed me how.”

Bucky leaned in closer until your noses touched. “How to be less critical of myself.” He closed his eyes and let his hand linger on your skin. “And how to welcome a mistake by making it an accident-”

And before he could finish that sentence, he felt your lips press to his and your warm hands wrap around his neck to pull him into your body. Bucky shivered in excitement, letting his hands trail down your back and falling into the soft cushions of your sofa while he pressed you to his chest protectively.

He sighed into the kiss, feeling his heart burn with excitement.

Fascinating, how fast a mistake can turn into a happy little accident.

I love you Bob Ross <3

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winterarmyy · 10 months

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Until Then

A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.

Summary: A mission back in time brought Y/N to an unexpected encounter with the man she fell in love with.

Words: 2.3k++

Pairing: 40s!bucky / avenger!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: melancholy-ish plot line with fluffy ending

Inspiration: "You still would've turn my head, even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were heading off to fight in the war" – Timeless (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift

Read my other works here: Masterlist

It was supposed to be a quick in and out mission. Y/N and Tony were sent back in time to 1944; one day before Captain America and the Howling Commandos deployed to their next mission at the Austrian Alps, in Europe.

The duo were supposed to retrieve some lost files regarding Hydra's hidden bunks and labs back in the days. After the fight with Thanos, there were rumours of the re-creation of Project Winter Soldier lead by an organization that once associated with Hydra. So, they need all the information they could get their hands on; including the ones that are lost decades ago.

Unfortunately for them SHIELD used to be shitty at storing physical files back in the days. To be fair they still do, especially now that technology had advanced. Every single information were at the tip of their fingers; from typical criminal records to the name of every single doctor and nurses who were present when the person was born.

They literally have everything. And nothing at the same time.

And honestly, the mission was quick as they predicted. Tony managed to scanned the needed files and some others that he thought would be important. He's extra like that too, which was a plus.

However quick the mission supposed to be, they barely make it though, especially when the guards were suspicious of Tony's apparently "hippie" beard. It was such a shame. So much for dressing up in 40's style. They kind of nailed the outfit and aesthetics, according to Steve anyway.

However, thankfully by the time they got out of the facility they managed fit right in with crowd. The wave of people lead the duo along its current, more and more people joined in to the point that they weren't able to find any quiet place to activate their time device.

"I thought we're still in WWII? Why is there fucking a parade in the middle of the day?" Tony being unapologetically sarcastic as always.

Y/N looked around as she observed, there was couple of people animatedly, albeit, excitedly exclaimed to the streak of success of Captain America and the Howling Commandos in the war.

A little to the right of them, were a group of children who were semi-cosplaying as Captain America and his dream team, passionately play-fighting with the enemies as if they were in a theater performance.

"I guess they're celebrating small wins. Steve and his team did have several successful raids since the battle at Azzano." It was in fact true; what Y/N speculated was exactly the very reason of the current occasion.

Tony simply shrugged as he stretched his neck higher to hopefully find the end the crowd, "Sure, just keep your eyes open for a place to time jump. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of another war." Y/N nodded as she looked around the sides, wondering if there's an empty alleyway that they could use.

The more sketchy looking it was, the better.

The crowd was chaotic with different mix of conversations and cheers; voices intertwining with one another, each sentences criss and crosses into indecipherable storyline. But even then, Y/N could recognized that breathy, slightly giggly laughter anywhere.

Especially when he brushed right by her.

Y/N was well aware of how madly in love she was with Bucky even with the coy cat-and-mouse game they were playing for months. She knew exactly the hold he had on her soul that at some point, she was conviced that he still would've turn her head in any lifetime.

But that idea was only supposed to be one of the secrets in her mind; the thoughts of a hopeless romantic that she was. Certainly, she didn't dreamt of the vision for it come true. But there she was, frozen on her spot when the time stood still on the crowded street in 1944; fortuitously crossing path with man she fell in love with.

There weren't any suitable explanation for this other than it was fate. In that short milliseconds, Y/N saw the resemblance of the sight to a memory of hers in the crowded room a few short years ago; his left arm slung around Steve's neck, letting his weight leaned on his super soldier friend as he let out a hearty laughter.

There were only slight difference from what she saw before and what she currently seeing; Bucky wore an all black suit at that party, now he's wearing his military uniform in a parade. Bucky was dead drunk on Asguardian mead that night, now he's as sober as a soldier deprived of liquor. Bucky's left hand was adorned with high-tech vibranium metal, now that very hand was still made of flesh and blood, still alive.

During that brief moment of revelation, she truly believed that they were supposed to find this.

Whatever this is supposed to be; Fate? Love? Both? She was not sure either.

She was so stuck on holding her gaze on his back as the young soldier walked a few steps away from her that she didn't notice how the people in the surge glared at her unmoving state or how she had been astray from Tony.

Well, at least it only lasted until someone bumped into her and she staggered backwards, inevitably fell on the ground.

Y/N groaned but quickly patted her pockets to find her time device was still there. I mean, she can never be sure if it was just an accident that she fell or someone intended to distract her while pick-pocketing her belongings.

Though other people would probably already stood on their feet but Y/N was still on the dusty road, as she was busy recollecting her mental state rather than her physical.

That was when a calloused hand reached out to her, offering a kind help.

She didn't think twice to take his hand, let alone looking up at his face when she gripped it tight enough to make a solid foundation to push herself against the gravity, "Oh dear me! Thank you so much, sir. I really..." She lost her momentum when she met the pale blue of his eyes, "...appreciate it." She ended the sentence breathlessly.

It's Bucky. Her brain tried to let her process the thought. It was not her Bucky but still... it's Bucky. Her eyes then fell to where their skin touched. Warm and gentle. His left hand felt the exact same as his right. It made her to cave in the urge to hold it a little longer, to savour the memory of what it could've been; not that she weren't fond of his vibranium arm but curiosity can be such a fickle thing.

Bucky smiled, "Glad to help, my lady." And oh dear does he smiled effortlessly, freely; as if he knew he deserved to feel joy in his life.

Even if she didn't want to, she had to let go of his hand after a few seconds too long of holding it when she was already up and ready to go. She returned his smile though her heart was barely tough enough to stop the spreading of its cracks, "Really, I can't thank you enough."

In reality, it was probably unnecessary to thank him that much for helping her to get back on her feet, but Y/N wasn't really thanking him just for that.

Unbeknownst to him, she was thanking him for not holding back a smile, for not overthinking about the things he might have done to draw a conclusion that he was undeserving have the luxury to smile, for unapologetically just living the life he supposed to have.

She thanked him for it.

Bucky chuckled amusingly as he slightly titled his head to the side. A charming pull on the corner of his lips revealed a smile that could swoon anyone on sight, especially her.

"Well, we're having a little party tonight before deploying to Europe tomorrow. So, maybe you can thank me by letting me bring you to the dance? How about that, doll?" She almost forgot that Steve was there next to him, until Bucky references the word "we".

And especially when his words might just pulled Y/N's heartstrings in ways that she could never thought someone could do. It was awfully slow, almost too delicate of a pull, but each inches of it pained her deeply.

If it was up to her, she would've said yes a million times over but she knew she can't. And the voice in her earpiece reminded her of it, "Y/N, we gotta go." Tony urged as he watched her from the corner of the street.

Y/N tried her best not let her facial expression flatter, "Unfortunately, I can't. I'm going back to my hometown today." It wasn't exactly a lie when she made that excuse.

"Ohh, I see. You're not from here, huh?" Bucky was very honest as his reaction clearly showed his disappointment. Though not at her, just at the situation.

Her brows briefly crunch into an apologizing plead before she boldly grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, slightly pulled him down to her level, while the other hand cupped one side of his face.

She tiptoed herself upwards as she pressed a firm yet sweet kiss on the smooth skin of his cheek and whispered against it, "But, I hope this would do."

Lost for words, heck, Bucky was lost for thoughts. What was left was his own heart thumping hard and loud that he bet Steve can hear it from where he was standing. His cheeks became warmer by the second and the redness spreads even to the tip of his ears.

Of course he had his cheek kissed before, but not like this. None of them felt like this. They were always too fast, too hasty.

Hers was different. It lingered a little longer, gently leaving her imprint on him. He can feel her grip on his collar, the stroke of her thumb on his cheek and of course the soft pressure of her lips on the other side of his face. He could everything so particularly.

Bucky was rendered speechless even after she pulled her lips away; it was too soon for his comfort. Eyes wide open, his lips slightly parted as he let himself lost in the pleasant surprise.

He thought she would parted herself and ran away feeling embarrassed, but she did the very opposite. Y/N lead his forehead to lean on hers, tip of their nose grazed, and her lips hovered above his.

So close, yet refused to merge with one another.

Y/N whispered quietly, as if she was talking to herself, "You'll be fine, James. You'll find home in the future. I promise."

Her voice trembled as Bucky just noticed how wet her eyes were becoming. With that amount of tears in them, he wondered if her sight were all blurry now.

Y/N took in a shaky breath before continuing, "You just need to survive the winter and trust me at the end of that season, you'll reach the sun again." Her thumbs softly traces his cheeks as she spoke.

Bucky didn't quite understand what she was saying but if he loosely translate it, it would mean that 'she believed that he'll be back soon after the war'. But then again, he felt like there were some major things that was missing from the context that he came up with.

Y/N's earpiece send another transmission of Tony's voice, "Okay, seriously. Come on, Juliette. Your other Romeo is waiting for you." She couldn't help but to smile as she closed her eyes, letting the excess tears fall down to her cheeks.

She didn't want to say goodbye, as she knew that this was not where their story ends, at least not his; that's for sure. So, she simply smiled up at him with a reassuring look in her eyes before stepping back. She then, briefly turned her attention to the dumbfounded Steve, gracing him with a similar smile before walking away.

It was just a few steps away when her hand was caught in between someone's, "Hey!" Y/N looked over her shoulder to see Bucky; wide eye, blinking in disbelief and blushing red, all at the same time, "WiIl... Will I see you again?" He asked, though hesitant; wondering if he was being rude.

Compared to what she had done to him, he was just being too polite.

Y/N chuckled dearly, "Of course." Then she replied confidently, "I owe you a dance after all." Her lips parted into a cheeky grin.

Bucky let out a sharp relieved sigh as his lips mimic hers, "I'll look forward to it, doll." He slightly bowed as his hand pulled hers closer to his lips, "Until then." He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand as his gaze remained on hers.

Apparently, it was Y/N's turn to blush to his antics. She stepped back shyly as her cheeks brightens before scurring away. Maybe, Bucky was right with his prediction prior. She did ran away feeling embarrassed after all.

She jogged towards the next corner of the street, meeting up with Tony. The older might have eyeing her in a teasing manner, but his smirk was the biggest giveaway. Y/N simply rolled her eyes, even if her lips maintained its shape from the aftermath of her encounter with Bucky.

As they entered deeper into the alleyway, Tony spoke, "I gotta admit, young terminator was a hottie. Not hotter than me, of course." he claimed.

Y/N frowned, letting out a scoff, "What do you mean "was"? He still is." Call it bias, but at least she was telling the truth.

Tony shrugged, "Meh. Would argue to differ. But, whatever that floats your boat, I guess?" Tony sassed as they clicked on the time device at the same time, revealing a swirlling portal, in front of them.

Y/N quirked her brow, her hands on her hips, "You're just jealous that he aged like a fine fucking wine and you don't." She purposely challenged his ego.

Tony dramatically rolled his eyes, "Please. He wishes." He walked into portal with an attitude, making Y/N laughed at his childish acts.

She looked back at the alleyway one last time and reminisce the last moments of a past that she never belong in. As she walked into the portal, she thought that maybe, it's time to pay her debt to Bucky.

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: The start of bucky drabbles because why not. This is considered a drabble for me because i feel like there's lack of story building. But, you tell me. And did you enjoy it?

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #40s!bucky #avenger!bucky #bucky drabbles

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booksandabeer · 4 months

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Steve-Centric Stucky Fics: 5 Recs + 1 TBR

As promised, here is the rec list for Steve/Bucky fics with a focus on Steve-centric stories—all of them not EG-compliant, as requested. It's not quite as long as my usual rec lists for two reasons:

(1) I'm still sick and I can barely sit up straight, so please forgive the brevity of the list, and

(2) I deliberately wanted to include exclusively fics that were written in 2022 and 2023 to shine a spotlight on a few of the many wonderful writers and artists who are still creating absolutely fantastic works for the Stucky ship and who deserve to be read just as widely and passionately as older works in the fandom. Recency bias, but make it positive!

So without further ado, here are five Steve-centric Stucky recs and one more fic that I can't wait to get to:

1. say it soft and it's almost like praying by Somanywords | 41K, M

Author's summary: Natasha says, “Look, whatever the truth is about you, we have no way of really knowing the Winter Soldier's intentions. He’s not all there, he’s not who you remember. He’s a hot mess, Steve.”

“Why does everyone think that?” Steve says, and he’s nearly yelling, but not quite, because he doesn’t need to, not when they’re so close. “Why does everyone keep saying he’s a mess—have you seen me?"

Post-CA:TWS canon divergent. I literally finished this fic about 15 minutes ago, so I haven't even left a comment yet. I'm still processing, you could say. The author tagged this with "just another post catws fic (but by me)"—and yes, that's what you get. All the usual ingredients are here, but the joy of TWS canon divergence is of course in the endless possibilities of how these well-known ingredients are used, re-arranged, and re-imagined as something new, exciting, and often much more satisfying than in canon. This fic excels at all three and is an absolute joy from start to finish.

2. Daybreak by BonkyBornes, art by PottersPink | 9K, NR

Author's summary: They called it project Rebirth because the person was supposed to be reborn, like a phoenix from the ashes. Steve was supposed to be the phoenix. He was supposed to rise from the ashes of his old body, he was supposed to leave behind his deafness and his limp and the scoliosis that bent his entire body to the left. He was supposed to leave behind everything that held him back.

In the end, the only thing that left was the only thing that mattered.

Shrinkyclinks canon-divergent AU. What if Project Rebirth didn't go right...but it didn't go entirely wrong either? A story about ghosts but not a ghost story. Or maybe something else entirely? Steve fights his body and time and the memories that keep haunting him. Beautifully written, with gorgeous art by PottersPink that perfectly complements the story.

3. Exhale by seapigeon, art by dudewhereismypie | 15K, M

Author's summary: After the Chitauri invasion, Steve parts ways with SHIELD, unsure if he can trust an agency that tried to deceive him and built weapons from the Tesseract.

He finds himself alone in an unfamiliar future, penniless, not even legally alive. Fortunately, he knows how to survive. Steve Rogers is used to getting by on his own.

The thing is, he doesn't have to.

Shrunkyclunks. Post-Avengers canon divergent. A fic that asks the question: What if, after the battle of New York, Steve had told SHIELD a polite but firm 'No'? Follow him as he strikes out on his own, finds an apartment, a job, and friends, figures out life in the 21st century...and of course falls in love!

4. Preberseeschießen by Ginny_Potter | 6K, T

Author's summary: Bucky breathes out and shoots. The bullet hits water… and there it is, the zapping sound of paper tearing.

The light turns on and off three times. Third circle. Just a lick out of bullseye. The Howlies explode in cheers.

Or, the Howling Commandos play a shooting game with the Austrian Resistance and Steve has lots of unresolved feelings about himself, his new body, and his changing relationship with Bucky. In other words, comrades are comrades, angst looms, and Steve feels.

Wartime fic. Would you like to read some excellent gay angst full of yearning and unresolved tension, peppered with interesting and wonderfully specific historical details and Howlies camaraderie? Would you like to get your heart crushed a little? Yes? Here you go. And if this makes you feel too sad by the end of it and you crave a bit of a happier resolution, just jump straight into a fistfull of dollars (5K, E) by the same author, which is not intended as a companion piece or even set in the same universe, but it works just as if it were. (Look at me sneaking in extra recs.)

5. Not In The Answer But The Question by aimmyarrowshigh, art by PottersPink | 27K, T

Author's summary: It rankles that his drink was made before he even got a chance to order it. What if he wanted a change? What if he were adventurous and bold? What if he tried something new?

---

Or, Steve Rogers shakes up his gray daily routine in 2014 by going back home to Vinegar Hill. To his surprise, the Jewish deli he used to frequent with Arnie is still standing.

And Steve's whole life changes again.

Shrunkyclunks. Post-Avengers canon divergent. A lost and lonely Steve tries to figure out who he was, is and most importantly, wants to be in this new century he's found himself in that is both terrifying and full of possibilities. Told in vignettes (I did not count, but I believe all of them are exactly 100 word drabbles) that perfectly illustrate the fragmented mind and life of its protagonist and his experience of constantly shifting and adjusting between past and present. A story about identity, memory, self-acceptance, and finding the courage to love and let yourself be loved. And food. So much amazing food!

+ 1 TBR: Operation: Gros Michel by SquadOfCats | 358K, E

Author's summary: “It starts with bananas. Of course, it's not really about the bananas. Just like a camel isn't bothered by one single straw, just like a dam doesn't break because of one extra drop. Obviously, Steve's mental breakdown isn't about bananas.”

Steve is overwhelmed and hanging by a thread, doing his best to take care of Bucky while still deeply traumatized himself. He finally has a breakdown over the stupidest of things: bananas. So Bucky takes care of him.

In which Steve learns to surf, Bucky becomes a gardener, and they both begin to heal.

Post-CA:TWS canon divergent. No, I did not make a mistake, the word count for this story really does come in at an impressive (or intimidating, you decide) 358,225 words! Which is the only reason why I haven't read it yet. I do want to make time for this asap because the snippets I've read so far were very intriguing and everything I've heard about it from people who have finished it, sounds absolutely amazing. So, this is the wild card pick!

Happy reading! <3

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stucky rec list #steve x bucky #stucky fic recs #steve x bucky fic rec #stevebucky fic rec #stucky fic #stevebucky #steve rogers fic rec #my recs

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bandaidfingers · 6 months

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I had some fun a little while ago redrawing one of my favorite Sgt. Fury covers with my Nick Furry designs >:)c

Original cover under the cut. I swapped the title font for the font used in the Sgt. Fury reprints cuz I like it better lol

#this is the last of the nick fury art I made last month I will resume Bond Posting next week >:) I got a whole bunch of 007 doodles hoarded #nick fury agent of shield #nick fury #sgt fury and his howling commandos #marvel

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fluffysucker · 8 months

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Desperate People find faith.

Bucky Barnes x reader

An accident mends your broken heart.

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.

Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit

Main Masterlist

You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you

The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.

Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.

But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield."

His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.

You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.

Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.

Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.

And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.

Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.

You were the luckiest girl.

Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.

You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.

So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.

Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.

You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.

And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.

So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.

But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.

So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.

However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.

On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.

And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.

You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.

As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.

After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.

You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.

So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.

But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.

You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.

Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.

So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.

So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.

"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.

"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.

"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.

"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.

"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.

"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.

"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.

"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.

"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.

"We broke up."

Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.

"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.

"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.

"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.

"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.

"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.

"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.

"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.

"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.

"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."

And you hadn't rest since.

It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.

It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.

All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.

It was complicated and confusing.

You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.

However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.

You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.

Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.

You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.

John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.

Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.

Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.

But it was anyway.

You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.

It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.

You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.

You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.

It was just you and him, now.

And it was brutal.

You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.

Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.

The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.

John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.

It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.

Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.

You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.

You counted two.

You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.

You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.

You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?

A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.

With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.

Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.

Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.

Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.

He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.

"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.

You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.

"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.

"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.

"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.

"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.

"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.

"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.

"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.

"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.

"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.

"To die in your arms."

Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.

"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.

Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.

You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.

"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."

With that, the world went dark.

You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.

He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.

All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes

He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."

In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.

His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.

He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.

"She is okay."

Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.

After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.

It wasn't long before you woke up.

You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.

You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.

Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.

You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.

"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.

"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.

"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.

You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.

After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.

"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.

"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.

"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.

"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it

"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.

"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.

"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.

"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.

"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."

"You understand?"

"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."

"Is this why you think we broke up?"

"Isn't it?"

You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.

And you understood.

"No, it isn't."

He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.

"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."

You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.

"I remember everything."

You still didn't know what he wanted to say.

"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."

"Bucky.."

"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."

You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.

"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."

"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."

"Just like I failed today."

Before you could say anything, he kept going.

"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."

"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."

"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."

It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.

At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.

However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.

The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.

He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.

But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.

Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.

But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.

You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.

"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.

"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.

You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.

"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"

"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."

His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.

"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.

You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.

"You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you."

You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.

"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."

If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.

Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.

"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.

"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."

You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."

With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.

"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.

It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.

You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.

You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.

"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."

"You didn't. I'm right here."

"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.

"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."

You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.

"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.

He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.

"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.

It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.

But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.

Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.

"Doll, will you marry me?"

You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.

"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.

With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.

He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.

Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.

It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.

You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.

"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.

"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.

"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.

The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.

"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.

The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.

Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 year

Text

The Color of Blood [4]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, situational almost non-con kissing? (it’s not too bad, I swear, but I don’t wanna catch anyone off guard), cursing, mentions of PTSD/flashbacks/nightmares

Word Count: 3,976

Summary: In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.

Bucky stood stiff beside you. Over the last few days, the two of you had floated around, out of sight, but hadn’t left DC yet. There was something you wanted him to see first. He wore some clothes you had gotten for him, a baseball cap over his clean hair, and his face was drawn in solemn concentration.

“I’m gonna wait here.” You whispered. Bucky turned and gave you a curious look and you just shrugged. “This is something you have to do alone, I think, but I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Bucky stared at you for another beat before walking away from you into the exhibit. The ‘Captain America and the Howling Commandos’ display wasn’t as crowded today as it had been the day you came with Steve. You turned and found a bench to sit on.

The last few days had been… unusual. Looking from the outside it was probably awkward. Bucky had said less than ten words to you since the two of you left that used to be bank. He stayed though. Bucky hadn’t run from you, and despite the lack of communication, you felt comfortable. Being around him, despite barely knowing him, was just nice. You were on the run with a man who people either thought were dead or a criminal, but you felt at peace for the first time…well…ever.

You rested your elbows on your knees and kept your face down in hopes that your own hat shielded your face from view. The burner phone in your coat pocket began to go off so you quickly pulled it out and answered. It was a quick phone call, only minutes long, but it was good news. One of your sources had gotten you in touch with a guy that could get you and Bucky out of the country without being seen. Granted that meant the two of you would be riding in a sketchy cargo plane leaving an abandoned airfield at around 1:30 in the morning, but beggars couldn’t be picky.

More time passed, nearly pushing onto an hour and a half, and you briefly wondered if he would come back. This would be the perfect opportunity for Bucky to slip away if he really wanted to and you couldn’t blame him. You couldn’t imagine what he was mentally going through right now and as much as you hated to admit it, you didn’t even know where to begin to help. You figured getting out of sight was a good first step, but you were winging this entirely.

You sighed and buried your face into your hands. What if you couldn’t help him? What if you made this worse somehow? What kind of soulmate would that make you? You rubbed your hands against your face and then moved them to the back of your neck. Familiar shoes stepped into your line of vision and you glanced up just as Bucky knelt down in front of you. You hadn’t even heard him walk up.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked softly, his voice low.

You gave him a tight smile, “Yeah. How are you? How was…”

Bucky glanced down at his feet briefly before looking back up to meet your gaze. The corner of his lips twitched up just a bit. It was the closest thing you had seen to a smile on him, but you could hardly even consider it that with the pain that was still in his eyes. He nodded once, “Thank you for this. I…”

“You’re welcome.” You replied. He didn’t need to say anything more than that. Bucky stood up and he hesitated for a moment before holding his hand out to you. You took it and he pulled you up from your seat before shoving his hands into his coat pocket. “I got us a ride out of the country.” Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise. “How do you feel about Romania?”

4 MONTHS AFTER THE FALL OF SHIELD

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” You mumbled under your breath as you tried to salvage the chicken that was burning in the pan. You had only looked away for a second and the damn thing chose that moment to start turning black. It was ridiculous. All the skills you had as an agent did not translate over into the domestic world. You beat the Black Widow in sparring once, only once, and yet you couldn’t cook a chicken without fucking it up.

Bucky was suddenly beside you, you never heard him coming, but he carefully took the spatula from you and went to work in fixing what you had messed up. The two of you were living the weirdest domestic life that probably ever existed. You shared a tiny apartment in the middle of a busy Romanian city. It was only one large room with a bathroom that branched off it. A bed sat in the corner that you slept on and a couch sat in the middle of the room, a little way in front of the kitchen island counter, that Bucky slept on. You fought him tooth and nail to trade, since he was so much larger, but the man wouldn’t have it.

The two of you had fallen into a familiar, cozy habit. You worked at a small café nearby with a fake name to earn money and Bucky did odd jobs that he ran into around the apartment complex. He mostly stayed out of sight for now. It was better that way.

Despite four months together, Bucky still didn’t say much. He’d hold a soft conversation with you now and again, but he kept mostly to himself. He’d read books you picked up from him on the way home and he’d write in a few notebooks he kept. You weren’t entirely sure what he wrote all the time, but it didn’t seem like your place to be nosy about it.

You found comfort in all that silence though. Bucky didn’t talk much, but he did little things that warmed your heart. He’d make your coffee just like you liked it in the morning without saying a word and sometimes when you’d wake up from a nap you’d find a blanket spread over you despite not placing it there when you passed out. You had a bit of a sweet tooth, but it didn’t feel right spending your limited money on any sort of sweets. Yet, sometimes you’d come home from work and your favorite candy or pastry would be on the counter waiting for you.

“How did you manage to fix this mess?” You asked with a chuckle. The edges of the chicken were still burned because of you, but Bucky had managed to save the rest.

Bucky gave you a small smile, “It’s easy. You just make cooking a lot harder than it should.”

Your lips curled up into a wide grin at his teasing. Bucky diverted his eyes away from you and focused back on the pan. The urge to bump your shoulder into his playfully came to mind, but you resisted. He still wasn’t much of a fan of any sort of contact, understandably. The only times he sought out any sort of touch was after one of his nightmares, which he still had regularly much to your dismay, and you never hesitated to wrap your arms around him and give him any sort of comfort he needed.

7 MONTHS AFTER THE FALL OF SHIELD

It was the middle of the night and at first you weren’t entirely sure what had roused you from your sleep. Your eyes fluttered wearily, and it took a second for your eyes to adjust to the dark. There was a weight on the mattress beside you and when you turned your head you came face to face with Bucky. You took in a sharp breath as your eyes traced his features. Not Bucky. The Soldier.

This wasn’t the first time you had woken up to what HYDRA had created. Sometimes Bucky would have a terrible nightmare and instead of waking up himself the Soldier would slip through the cracks. As startling as it was though, the Soldier had never hurt you.

He was lying on his right side, and slowly lifted his left hand up to your face. That was one strange thing you noticed. Bucky tended to shy away from physical touch still, but anytime he did reach out to you he always used his right hand. His flesh and blood. Anytime the Soldier came out to play though, he would only touch you with the metal one.

The Soldier traced his metal fingers across your eyebrow then around the curve of your eye down to the cheekbone beneath it. He lightly grazed the skin there before letting his fingers trail down the bridge of your nose until they found your lips. The Soldier’s cold fingers traced your lips and you stayed as still as possible as you let him. He never seemed to mean you harm and he never went too far. It seemed like he just liked to trace your features, like a man memorizing a lover’s face, while mumbling in Russian.

You couldn’t help but gasp a little when his cold finger brushed against your neck. They followed the curve down to your shoulder and slipped under the edge of your shirt just a bit so he could feel your collarbones. It was all normal. Actually, normal might not be the right word. You didn’t think anything about this was normal. It was the usual though. Nothing out of the ordinary and you actually found your eyes drifting closed at the feather light touches.

The Soldier shifted beside you, but you didn’t think anything of it until the metal hand cupped around your neck. Your eyes snapped open, panicked, but the Soldier’s face just hovered over yours as he half leaned on top of you. It was easy to differentiate between the Soldier and your soulmate. As time had passed you mentally separated the two and drew a line in the sand. The face hovering over yours with cold eyes and tightly drawn lips was not your Bucky. It was not the man whose lips would curl up into a small smile anytime you walked into the room. It wasn’t the man whose soft, stormy eyes made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Like you were something special.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the Solider leaned down. You whipped your head to the side, his lips landing on the side of your face, and his hands tightened around your neck in response to try and straighten your head.

“Bucky!” You yelled. The moment the name fell from your lips the body half on top of yours leaped off. You sat up and your eyes landed on Bucky who was pressed against the wall opposite from you, his chest heaving like he had run a marathon. It was Bucky though. It was your Bucky. You recognized those eyes, “Buck—”

Bucky’s eyes snapped to meet yours, but before you could say another word he sprinted out the front door. You fell out of bed, tangled in your own blankets, then tried to run after him. By time you got to the stairs though he was far out of sight. Panic flooded your system. You stumbled back to your apartment and sat down at the kitchen island at one of the two bar stools you had.

You had known the Soldier wouldn’t have hurt you. Something in you was convinced that if you had told him to stop he would’ve immediately. You had just panicked though. The first time you’d kiss those lips you wanted it to be Bucky. It’d be a lie to say you hadn’t thought of it before, but you’d wait until he was ready. Even if that took years and years and years.

What if he didn’t come back?

That thought plagued you for hours until you passed out on the counter.

Morning light filled the room around you and when you slowly woke up you realized you were lying back on your bed rather than the kitchen island. Your blanket was tucked around you, a good sign, but Bucky was nowhere to be seen in the room and you didn’t hear the bathroom fan running. Worry ran through your veins as you sat up, but before you could start to form some kind of plan the front door opened.

Bucky stepped inside, baseball cap pulled tight over his dark hair, and he stopped at the sight of you staring at him. In one hand he had a box of pastries from your favorite bakery down the street and in the other he had a bouquet of flowers. He swallowed nervously, using his foot to close the door behind him. You stood up as he walked over to the counter and set the items he had on the tile top.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky breathed. “I’m so sorry. I thought about leaving. Thought it’d be better, but…” He clenched his jaw and glanced down at his feet with a shake of his head before looking back up at you, “I couldn’t. I’m so sorry.”

You crossed the room, stopping in front of him, and pressed your lips together, “Can I—Can I hug you?”

Bucky opened his mouth just to shut it again then he nodded. That was all you needed. You closed the space between the two of you and threw your arms around him as you buried your face into the crook of his neck. It took a moment, but you slowly felt him wrap his arms around you as well.

“It’s okay.” You whispered. “I’m not scared of you. You’d never hurt me, Bucky.”

His arms tightened around you just a little bit more.

14 MONTHS AFTER THE FALL OF SHIELD

It had been a normal day. You had gotten home from work in a good mood, dinner had been made and eaten. After a year together, the two of you had settled like some sort of old married couple. It wasn’t the kind of life you ever expected you’d have, but you were weirdly happy. Bucky had improved a lot over the year. He still had nightmares, but they were coming once a week rather than daily now. More than that, he smiled these days. He’d smile and laugh and he’d talk to you about old memories that came to him. That’s what those notebooks he kept were. One was for the memories he wished he didn’t remember. Missions that he felt obligated to suffer for. One was for memories from his past. Things about Steve or his sister Rebecca or his parents and friends. Then the third notebook he had was for things he never wanted to forget. It was like his journal.

Bucky had come so far and nothing proved that more to you than the moment he touched you for no reason other than wanting to touch you. You had been at the sink, washing dishes, and he had come over to help you by drying. As he grabbed the rag though, he set his right hand on the small of your back and left it there for just a moment. It was such a small thing, sweet and short, but it felt like such a huge step as well.

It had felt like a switch had been flipped. Bucky had gone from no contact at all to constantly having at least one hand on you. It was all innocent touches. A hand on your shoulder, a hand on your back as he passed you, a brush against your wrist as he handed you a coffee, or his shoulder pressed against yours when you sat on the couch together talking. It was just like he was trying to convince himself that you were actually there beside him. You liked it though. You liked it a lot.

16 MONTHS AFTER THE FALL OF SHIELD

Your shift at the café had lasted longer than it usually did, you were covering for a coworker, and when you got home you figured Bucky would’ve eaten by now and had something set aside for you. That’s usually how it went. When you opened the apartment door you were startled to see that the room lights were out, but a couple candles were lit on the kitchen counter. The setting sun cast light through the small balcony door you guys had as well. Bucky had been by the fridge and he turned around at the sound of your entrance.

Bucky had on a button up shirt and jeans, rather than his usual t-shirt and jacket, and his hair was pulled back into a small half bun so it didn’t hang in his face. On the counter, by the candles, you now realized there were two plates set out and a small thing of flowers there as well. A small smile flittered to your features and Bucky mimicked the motion.

“Hey,” He nodded and wrung his hands together, a nervous tic of his that you recognized, “I figure, we’ve lived together almost a year and a half now, yet I still haven’t taken my soulmate out on any kind of date.” Bucky cleared his throat. “My ma would beat me if she knew.”

You laughed, “Oh, would she?”

“Without a doubt.” Bucky nodded. He quickly stepped forward and pulled out the stool for you, “I made your favorite.”

You tossed your bag aside and sat down on the stool, “My favorite? Wow, you’re pulling out all the stops, aren’t you?”

“I’m trying, doll.” Bucky chuckled and moved to get the food. “I’m just praying some of the charm I used to have back in the day somehow survived.”

“I think you’d be surprised.” You replied with a smirk. After setting the food down, he grabbed a bottle of wine and uncorked it. If someone had told you that your first date with your soulmate was going to be in a rundown apartment in Romania after living with them for a year then you would’ve laughed in their face. Yet, here you were doing just that and you couldn’t imagine a more perfect first date.

The evening went by perfectly. As the sun dipped below the horizon the only thing lighting the room were the candles and the moonlight.

Bucky chuckled and took a sip of his drink, “It would be too cheesy if I said that of all the colors we can now see my favorite is your eyes, right?”

“Oh, absolutely.” You laughed even though your favorite color was definitely the stormy, blue gray of his. “You were supposed to be convincing me that you were charming not cheesy.”

Bucky grinned and it made him look years younger, “I am doing my best. Can I get a little slack, doll?”

“Nope.” You said and finished the last of your wine. “I’m actually keeping score right now so I can give you a grade by the end of the night.” Bucky shook his head and stood up to grab the wine bottle off the counter behind him. He poured a little more in your glass. “I can’t decide if you gain points for giving me more wine or lose points for trying to get me inebriated.”

Bucky scoffed, “You’re killing me. You know that right? Actually killing me.”

“You love it.” You joked in response.

He hesitated beside you, setting the bottle down, and cleared his throat, “Yeah. I do.” Your eyes widened a little at his tone. Bucky leaned one arm on the counter beside you and took in a steadying breath, “Everything you’ve done for me… I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me.”

“Bucky…”

Bucky shifted to set his hand on top of yours, “I spent the first 27 years of my life wondering what it’d be like to meet my soulmate. What she’d be like. Then, when I—when I fell… I can remember it. I can remember lying in the snow, bleeding, and I distinctly remember waiting to die and feeling so goddamn sorry.” You flipped your hand over to squeeze his hand in comfort. “I felt so awful that I was leaving my soulmate with no one. That she’d live in a world without color for the rest of her life because I made a stupid mistake on a mission.” He gave you a tight smile. “Then I met you. I don’t deserve any of this. After everything I’ve done—”

“None of that was your fault. That was HYDRA, not you.” You said firmly.

Bucky raised his other hand to set on the side of your face, “I don’t understand how I’m so lucky to have a soulmate as remarkable and amazing as you. I love you. I just want you to know that.”

“I love you.” You replied softly and you meant it with your entire being. Bucky said he was lucky, but you felt like the lucky one. You had never met someone who seemed to just understand you like he did. He might have thought all of this was effort for you, a trial, but this past year and half had been the best of your life.

Bucky’s eyes darted down to your lips and he slowly leaned forward. His lips hovered a breath away from yours and you knew he was giving you the space to pull back if you wanted to. That was the last thing on your mind though. You had been waiting for this moment for so long. You leaned forward, eyes closed, and pressed your lips against his. The kiss was soft, hesitant, and you broke apart after a moment. When your eyes opened and met his again though something changed between the two of you.

You stood up from your stool, knocking it over in the process, and wrapped your arms around his neck as you pulled his lips back to yours. Bucky grabbed your thighs, not letting his lips leave yours, and lifted you up until you were sitting on the counter. One hand traced up your body, grabbing the back of your head to hold you close, as his other rested on your back to pull you flush against his chest. You sucked on his lower lip and the groan that fell from his mouth was a sound you’d do anything to hear again.

Bucky tore his lips from yours and left a trail of kisses along your jawline, to the space right below your ear, then down the side of your neck until you felt his teeth graze against your pulse point. A small gasp left your lips as his tongue brushed over where his teeth had gotten you and he tightened his other arm around you as if you weren’t already pressed as close to him as you physically could be.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this.” Bucky mumbled against your skin.

You grinned and tugged on his shirt to bring his lips back towards yours, “Could’ve fooled me.” Bucky slipped his tongue between your lips and you briefly wondered how the hell anyone could be this good at kissing. You didn’t realize a kiss could be good enough to make you feel like this. After another moment, the kiss turned soft again. Bucky pulled back slightly only to lean forward and press his lips against yours a few more times. You set your hands on either side of his face and met his warm gaze. “I love you.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” Bucky mumbled and pressed his lips against yours again. “I love you.”

Romania wasn’t a place you planned to call home, but you were beginning to realize that home was in Bucky’s arms.

[previous chapter]

#marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier x you #winter soldier x reader #soulmate au

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