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lucienarcheron · 10 months

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Oh, What a Night [Nessian + Elucien]

Prompt: Nesta and Elain’s first Starfall, the two celebrated in different ways. |

Pairing: Elain x Lucien (Elucien) + Nesta x Cassian (Nessian) Genre: Fluff Rating: SFW Recommended Listen: Dress for Elucien + Delicate for Nessian | Oh What a Night for general party vibes

Visuals: Feyre’s look || Elain + Nesta’s look

Starfall.

One of the most significant events in the Night Court, especially in Velaris. It was particularly exciting this year because it would be Nesta and Elain’s first experience with the celebration, something Feyre was going completely overboard with. Alongside a thrilled Mor and a very reluctant Amren, she had dragged Elain and Nesta all over the city to find dresses. It had only taken a few hours but each young lady had walked out with a masterpiece of a dress, surely going to knock the socks off their intended targets.

The Archeron sisters were finally able to do something they hadn’t before: get ready for a party together. Though Elain had always enjoyed the parties she hosted while she was a human, Nesta had never bothered to partake in them and Feyre hadn’t even been there.

But now, they were together. Now, they could enjoy doing sisterly things. They had survived poverty, a war, and their father’s death together. Now, they had friends and family and a whole city to celebrate life with. They would make the most of it.

Elain, who had very specific plans for the night was a blushing, bubbling ball of excitement while Nesta, who normally avoided situations like this altogether, was more relaxed than anyone had ever seen her. With the help of Nuala and Cerridwen, the sisters chose to get ready in the House of Wind to save them the trouble of being flown up there.

Of the three, Elain was the first to step back, cheeks flushed as she glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She had chosen to have her hair done in a half-up-half-down do, letting it fall in loose curls on her shoulders and down her back. The dress she had chosen was beautiful; light pink, flowy, with lovely flowers that she hoped Lucien would appreciate.

“What do you think?”

Elain’s timid question had her sisters turning to see her finished look and smiles of approval bloomed on their faces.

“Lucien’s going to die.” Feyre gushed and Elain blushed.

“You don’t think it’s too...booby?”

“That’s exactly why he’s going to die.” Nesta said with a snort. “It looks beautiful, Elain. Very you.”

Nesta had opted for a dark red, more conservative dress, though the exposed shoulders did add a little flare to it. She was determined to look as devastating as possible to ensure she left a certain someone in pieces on the floor. She had gone for a low updo with a few loose strands to frame her face. If the dress didn’t do him in, her exposed neck certainly would.

“You both look gorgeous!” Feyre said with a wide smile, her own dress twirling around her. “I’m so excited for your first Starfall! You girls will love it.”

“Your excitement is making us excited.” Elain replied with a giggle and Nesta agreed with a nod.

“I look forward to see what all the fuss is about.” her eldest sister said with a small smile.

Feyre smiled again, a softer smile this time and she reached out a hand to each sister and squeezed. “I am thrilled you’re here with me and we’ve been given this time to be together. To live...I love you.”

“We love you too, Feyre.” Elain said and quickly leaned in to squeeze her in a hug.

“We’re proud of all you’ve become.” Nesta spoke gently and reached out, lightly brushing a strand of hair out of out of Feyre’s face and the youngest returned a watery smile.

They stood silently for a moment, soaking it all in then Feyre took a deep breath and let out an excited giggle. “Let’s go break some hearts!”

“Am I allowed to break some bones?” Nesta asked playfully and Elain shot Nesta a look.

“I know you mean Lucien! Don’t even think about it.” Elain warned. “Or I’ll tell Cassian how obsessed with him you really are.”

“No matter how obsessed I may or may not be with him, he’ll always be more obsessed with me. I am a goddess.” Nesta replied, her nose in the air and both younger sisters snorted.

The Archeron sisters filed out, with Feyre leading the way. The more they moved, the closer they were to the music, the chatter, and the welcoming buzz that Starfall bought every year. Nesta and Elain’s eyes met and the two shared a smile as Feyre caught sight of Rhys. He was leaning against the top of the staircase, dressed in a fitted black suit with a tie that matched the color of Feyre’s dress, waiting for them. His delighted expression matched his wife’s and he straightened as they stopped in front of him.

“Well don’t you look delicious, mate.” he purred, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips. Elain giggled as Nesta made a gagging sound and Feyre turned to give her a playful dirty look. Rhys chuckled. “Elain, lovely as always. Nesta, beautifully terrifying as intended.”

“I’m expecting this party to blow my mind, High Lord.” Nesta said with a chuckle of her own.

“Oh, it sure will.” he promised. “I’m sure there will be at least one or two who will end up stripping and running around.”

“Oh no!” Elain exclaimed with a laugh. “Is that something anyone wants to see?”

“I’m sure if Cassian takes one for the team, there should be a few.” Rhys said with a smirk, his eyes on Nesta and she rolled her eyes for what felt like the tenth time in a minute. Rhys gave his sister-in-laws a wink then held his arm out for his wife and Feyre looped hers through it, waving to her sisters with a grin.

“Catch you on the dance floor!”

Elain and Nesta waited atop the stairs as the High Lord and Lady descended and were greeted with cheers and applause.

“You know,” Elain began softly, her eyes taking in all the glitz and glamour. “I didn’t think we’d get to experience something like this before...everything seemed so dark for a while.”

“Too dark.” agreed Nesta quietly and she gave Elain a smile. “But they say through darkness comes the light.”

Elain smiled brightly and reached out to squeeze Nesta’s hand and Nesta squeezed back. “I’m happy, Nesta.” she whispered. “I’m happy we’re here. I’m happy we’re safe.”

“And I’m happy you’re happy.” Nesta said, her eyes softening as she took in her sister’s earnest expression. Her gaze turned to find Feyre laughing, already surrounded by people. “I’m happy Feyre’s happy too. We deserve some happiness.”

“We deserve some light.” Elain agreed and Nesta followed her gaze to Lucien at the bottom of the stairs, waiting, his eyes on the commotion around him. It seemed he was amazed by it all the same way they were. Elain had insisted he wear a formal suit and here he was, dressed in a dark green fitted suit that seemed to make his hair stand out more than usual.

“It seems your light has arrived.” Nesta said with a smirk and Elain giggled softly, blushing. She tugged on Nesta’s hand and the two went down the stairs, Elain going a little faster than Nesta anticipated or wanted.

“Hi.” Elain said shyly and Nesta took a step back, observing the two. Lucien turned and immediately froze at the sight of his mate. His breath had been taken away. He stood motionless for a few seconds, the wind knocked out of him — frankly, it felt like everything had been knocked out of him.

“Elain.” he breathed, his eyes sparkling in delight and awe. She looked down, smiling and flushed, then met his gaze again.

“Lucien.”

“Nesta. I’m glad we all know each other’s names now.” Nesta stated sarcastically and Lucien shot her a look of contempt that had her chuckling. She reached out, gently patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll give you this night. Don’t do anything stupid or you’ll die a slow, painful death.”

“Thank you for your kindness, oh mighty one.” He replied curtly and Elain stifled a laugh then instantly turned beet red when Nesta shot her a wink and walked away. Lucien immediately turned back to Elain and swallowed, wonderstruck all over again.

“You look stunning, dove.” he whispered and she beamed, then twirled for him.

“Do you like it?” she asked, hands smoothing down the bottom then lightly touching her hair. “I — I went with flowers. No surprises there.”

Lucien’s eyes darted up and down her body, taking in every inch of her in that dress. The way it settled high on her waist, the way the sheer sleeves gave him peeks of her slender arms, and the highlight for him — the low-cut front of her dress that gave him much more of Elain’s cleavage than he had seen before.

“How am I supposed to fight off every male who stares at you here?” he said dazed, his fingers trailing from the flowers on her shoulder down her arm. Elain laughed, nudging him lightly.

“You’re not. You’re going to behave or I’ll leave you and go dance with someone else.” she said, sticking her tongue out and Lucien chuckled.

“Fair enough.” he grunted then obnoxiously bowed and held out his hand for her. “Care for a dance, my lady?”

She grinned and playfully curtsied in return then immediately took his hand. “Lead the way, my lord.”

It had taken every inch of Nesta’s willpower to walk away from Elain and Lucien knowing what Elain had planned for the night. Despite her initial reservations, Nesta had caved at the sheer amount of happiness her sister felt with Lucien. She hoped the idiot didn’t mess it up. Starfall or no, she’d skin him alive.

Nesta knew people were staring at her as she moved about the room. She had always been a sight to behold but as they parted the way for her with timid smiles, she waited for his eyes to find her.

She felt him before she saw him and sure enough, as Nesta’s eyes flickered around the room, they met his and time seemed to stop.

The effect she had expected to have on him certainly rang true as he gaped at her. Had Azriel not been standing next to him to catch the glass that had slipped through his fingers with an exasperated look, his slacks would’ve been ruined. Nesta resisted the urge to smirk. She quirked a brow at him then promptly turned, dismissing him entirely, her eyes back to observing the room around her and she gladly accepted champagne from a passing tray.

Rhys had most definitely kept to his promise from earlier. Nesta was impressed by the sheer amount of beauty that surrounded her. It wasn’t just the setting, it was the energy of all the people there. Velaris had become Nesta’s home for a while now and though it had taken some getting used to, she was finally able to experience the better life Feyre had described to her.

This better life included the hulking figure currently making his way over to her and she casually paused in front of the dessert table, as if debating which one to try.

“Aren’t you a tall glass of water.” his voice drawled. “It’s a shame you’re standing here all alone.”

Nesta almost snorted. Of all the things this idiot could’ve said to her. She tilted her head, looking him over. He cleaned up very nicely. Everything about him looked impeccable. His shoulder-length hair brushed back, his wings gleaming behind him. His black slacks with his dark red shirt. They were unintentionally, intentionally matching. A game. They always liked to play a game.

“Who said I was alone? I’m surrounded by busybodies everywhere.” she stated lightly and watched him grin. “Do I know you, stranger?”

“I’d like to think so.” he replied, the distance between them smaller now and Nesta was almost overwhelmed by the sheer force of him standing so close. She hated yet loved the impact he had on her.

“Oh?” she asked in an airy tone, her eyes widening comically. “Have we met?”

“Once upon a dream, we have.” Cassian replied and Nesta pursed her lips. What an idiot. He was going to ruin the game with his nauseatingly sugary choice of words.

“Once upon a dream, you say? That doesn’t seem right.” she said, her tone still light as her eyes flickered all over the room indifferently before settling back on his stupid face with his stupid smirk.

“Oh yes.” he confirmed with a serious nod. “Didn’t you know? I’m the man of your dreams, sweetheart.”

“Oh. What boring dreams those must be.” she said with an exaggerated sigh and Cassian grinned widely, his body fully sliding up next to hers now. But Nesta ignored him. She was good at that. She held on for a lot longer than he did and merely stepped an inch to the side, away from him

“My dreams of you are never boring.” he whispered to her and she resisted the urge to bite her lip.

“But you’re a stranger. Why would you be having dreams about me?” Nesta asked, her tone mildly curious as she tilted her head again and his gaze drifted to her exposed shoulders and neck. Good.

Cassian chuckled and then his expression shifted, their little game over as he gave her the awestruck look he had when their eyes had first met. “You look beautiful, Nesta.” he said quietly. “I love the dress on you...the color suits you.”

She had picked the color on purpose to match his siphons. Not that he needed to know that.

Feyre might have also slipped that he was inclined to favor wearing this color and would surely wear it for the night. Not that he needed to know that either.

Nesta willed herself not to blush and she gave him a small smile. “I know.” she said. “It’s why I chose it.”

Cassian smirked. “The typical response here would be ‘thank you’, Nes.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not typical then, hm?” she replied, taking a sip from her glass, her eyes back on the sweets. If she stared at him for too long, she would start blushing and then it would all go downhill from there. “You haven’t properly introduced yourself to me, stranger. I expected a bow.”

He snorted and in typical Cassian fashion, exaggerated his bow enough to get those closest around them to stare. He just had to flare out his wings as far as they’d go.

“Lady in Red, your prince charming for the night!” he practically bellowed and Nesta’s lips twitched when he bowed then straightened, extending a hand. “May I have this dance?”

“I just came for the drinks but alright, I suppose.” she replied with a playful huff and downed her glass before setting it on the table and taking his hand. “But after the dance, I want to see the view from up there.”

Nesta pointed to the balcony high above them where couples mingled here and there and Cassian smiled.

“You got it, Nes.” he said, and brought her hand to his lips, kissing it softly. It was then, a light blush colored Nesta’s cheeks and she smiled openly.

It was going to be a great night.

Elain had been enjoying the night with Lucien. The two had danced, laughed, and drank. She had shared a dance with Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel then wiggled to the music with Feyre, Mor, and the ever-reluctant Amren. Even Nesta had enjoyed dancing, though she liked to pretend no one was watching and none of them would ruin the moment for her.

But every time Lucien left her side, whether to grab them drinks or food or simply to chat with someone, she was annoyed to find females around him. Elain knew that having a mate left you somewhat possessive of them but the feeling had intensified incredibly tonight.

She had planned to accept the bond with him tonight. She had planned it all. Right before the night ended, Elain wanted to give him food and then spend the night together. She had even worn the scandalous lacy underthings Feyre had helped her pick out.

Now, as she watched a beautiful blonde female chat him up, Elain didn’t want to wait. She was well aware that Lucien was popular and had connections everywhere but he was her mate and she would be laying claim tonight. Her lips pursed in determination and she tried not to stomp her way over to where he was.

“Lucien.” she called out sweetly and he immediately turned, smiling brightly. She slid up to him and wrapped her arm around his, lining her body up to his, and nodded at the girl. “Hello.”

“Elain, dove. This is Analie, she works at that shop in the Rainbow I told you about the other day, when I was getting Feyre new supplies. Analie, this is my mate, Elain.” he introduced and the girl smiled, nodding her head.

“Yes, our High Lady’s sister.”

“And his mate.” Elain repeated with a smile wider than necessary. “I’m terribly sorry but do you mind? I needed a word with my mate, Lucien. Lucien?”

Lucien gave Elain an amused look then grinned. Turning back to Analie, he bowed his head. “If you’ll excuse us.”

When Elain had dragged them a significant distance, her face burning from Lucien’s laughter, she twirled around and crashed her lips against his, finally silencing him. Though he returned the kiss, she felt his smile through it and pulled back, pouting.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“The fact that you’re jealous is very adorable, bunny.” he said, grinning. “Though there’s nothing to be jealous of. You’re easily the most stunning one here not to mention, you’re my mate.”

“Well. Other people don’t seem to know that. I saw how that one girl kept touching you!” Elain quickly objected and he laughed again. “I should have it tattooed on your forehead. MATED in big, fat, black letters.”

“I was actually thinking of having ‘Property of Elain Archeron’ right across my chest here and then just yank the shirt down anytime someone asks.” he said, gesturing to underneath his collarbone. “Thoughts?”

Elain scowled as his lips twitched and she shoved him. As he howled with laughter, her eyes fell on the tables filled with desserts and pastries of all kinds. Swatting him lightly, she went and grabbed the first thing her gaze fell on — a vanilla cupcake, then pushed him towards a more secluded corner and shoved it in his face.

“Eat it.”

He immediately stopped laughing and blinked at her. “Dove?”

“I mean it.” she said then swallowed and lowered the cupcake. “I...I had planned on a more romantic way of doing it. But you’re being annoying so I don’t want to be romantic!”

Lucien broke out in a grin. “Oh, Elain.” he leaned down to kiss her softly. “Are — are you sure? I don’t want you to rush into it. We have time.”

Elain held up the cupcake and gave him her best-determined look. “Eat the damn cupcake, Lucien. Or I will unleash all my rage on the next poor girl that looks at you and I don’t want to be that girl at a party.”

He laughed then his expression softened at her flushed cheeks. Elain leaned up and he met her halfway, their lips locking once more in a sweet kiss before Lucien took the cupcake and practically inhaled it.

Elain watched him, grinning as he chewed and swallowed, pounding on his back when he nearly choked. She watched him lick his lips and bring his hand up to wipe the cream that smeared on the side of his mouth in his enthusiasm to eat it, but Elain grabbed his hand.

“Let me, mate.” and she leaned up, fully pressing her chest against his as she backed him onto the wall behind them and her tongue darted out, licking the cream off.

Lucien froze and Elain stepped back, watching as whatever composure he had held the entire night snapped and primal hunger shone in his eyes.

“Elain.” He croaked and she giggled, her cheeks blushing furiously.

“I want tonight to be our night. I — I want us to officially become mates. Tonight.” she said quietly and Lucien’s face slacked as she fiddled with her fingers, avoiding his gaze. “Again, I had planned for this to be a more...romantic announcement but you’re being obnoxious so no romance for you.”

Lucien ran a hand down his face and let out a breath before laughing shakily and then his hands pulled her against him, roaming all over as he peppered her lips, jaw, and neck with kisses.

“I would be honored for tonight to be the night.” he said, lifting her chin for their eyes to meet. “If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“I’m absolutely sure.” Elain replied then gave him a small, coy smile as his one index finger slid down the valley of her semi-exposed breasts. “I only brought this dress for you to take it off.”

Lucien’s grin was of pure male satisfaction. “That is something I am highly looking forward to.”

Nesta had been soft — so soft with him tonight and she could tell he was melting from it. Cassian was absolutely puddy in her hands and she hoped he could tell how he pretty much had the same effect on her.

Not that she would openly admit it. She didn’t need to. He knew. He always knew.

When they had danced together, it had been the first time they had been pressed so closely together in a setting like this. His hand had come around her waist and hers had settled on his shoulder and when Cassian took her other hand in his, it was shaking slightly.

He had noticed of course, but Cassian only smiled, bringing it to his lips for a small kiss then held it as if she’d evaporate should he let go for a second.

But Nesta wasn’t going anywhere. They had both been broken after that damn war but after months of putting the pieces back together, she realized he was her glue. Her very annoying, incredibly sticky, and messy glue (gods, he was messy), but she...she loved him. And he loved her.

Since that day in the cabin where he had come and the two had finally talked, things had changed. He was there, always there, and he loved her, chipped edges and all. It terrified her at times what she felt for him. But Cassian always made her feel safe. Always whole.

So they had danced and laughed and Nesta realized how long it had been since she’d laughed like this.

“Are you thinking about us doing naughty things, Nes? Cause you’re staring.” he said and Nesta blinked, pulled back to reality. The two had finally slipped away, up to the balcony that gave them a view of the whole party. Her hands were resting on the railing as Cassian leaned against it, that stupid smirk back on his face and she rolled her eyes.

“That’s what your dreams are made of, aren’t they?” she replied with a snort. “I was just thinking about how you actually look decent for once.”

He looked gorgeous. He always did even when he was sweaty and disgusting after training, he still somehow managed to look gorgeous. Not that she would ever admit that.

Cassian gave her a knowing smile as he leaned closer. “It’s okay, Nesta. It’s just us.” he said quietly and Nesta gripped the railing. He knew what that voice did to her. “I already know you’re ready to throw me against the wall and have your way with me. I fully consent.”

Nesta couldn’t help it, she laughed and his smile widened. “You’re so stupid.” she simply muttered and he laughed.

“Yeah, but I’m your stupid.” Cassian replied with a grin and suggestive wiggle of his brows.

Nesta rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that formed on her lips. She turned back to watch the people below them with a content sigh. “This...this is really nice.”

“It’s one of my favorite nights of the year.” Cassian agreed and his body slid next to her fully, his one arm coming around her waist. “And the real show hasn’t even begun.”

Nesta tilted her head to meet his gaze and all she found there was love. It made her blush and she turned back to glance at the ongoing party but leaned into him instead. It was too soon to be doing more in public. Everything between them was too delicate, too precious.

Her eyes fell on Elain and Lucien and she watched as Elain practically attacked him with a cupcake. Her lips twitched.

“Is Elain accepting the mating bond?” Cassian asked, his gaze following hers and Nesta nodded.

“She decided tonight would be the night.”

“How is Lucien still alive?” Cassian asked incredulously and Nesta rolled her eyes again.

“I’ve agreed to pretend nothing is happening and not think about it.” she replied and Cassian laughed then leaned dangerously close, his breath fanning on her neck and Nesta grew rigid.

“And what are you going to do when we make it official, Nesta?” he whispered into her ear and she flushed, her grip tightening on the railing again. “Because it’s definitely going to be a night you won’t forget...or you know, several nights you won’t forget.”

“Cassian.” she warned and gave him a scathing look. He only chuckled then leaned in closer, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek. They were so close. So close.

“We could do things tonight that would definitely leave you unable to think about anyone else.” he murmured again and the flush in her face deepened. She glared at him.

“I will toss you over this railing if you don’t shut up.”

He laughed again and Nesta shoved him. But he was like a boomerang; she could throw him all she wanted but he’d just come right back. Cassian’s grip tightened on her waist and he pulled her completely against him again, his lips ghosting her jawline. Nesta was ready to crumble into a thousand pieces.

“I love it when I make you blush.”

“It’s usually in anger, don’t flatter yourself.” she said, clicking her tongue and he flashed her another one of his stupid smirks. It wasn’t fair, she thought, how instead of having him crumble into pieces, she was the one crumbling.

So Nesta turned her body, and now they were face to face. Her hands came up to lightly brush back his hair and then rest on his shoulders.

“Tell me, mate,” she began and Cassian was already eagerly anticipating what would come out of her mouth. “Do all the females that keep staring at us not know you’re unavailable?”

“I haven’t paid them any mind.” he replied, leaning down to finally kiss one of her exposed shoulders. “I’m all yours, sweetheart.”

“But they look at you like they want to devour you.” Nesta said, her lips curling into a smirk and Cassian met her gaze with a raised brow. “I don’t blame them but...I wonder Commander, could those girls possibly know how to touch you like I would?”

His eyes dilated in lust. “And how would you touch me, Nesta?” his voice barely a whisper. One of her hands reached up and she let her fingers lightly curl around a strand of his perfectly swept hair. She tugged, bringing his ear closer to her mouth.

“You’ll find out one of these days.”

She pushed away from him and turned back to lean on the railing, staring down at the crowds, a quiet laugh escaping her lips at his scandalized expression.

“Demon.”

“Your demon.” she corrected and smiled at him. Cassian shook his head and then started laughing. She watched him laugh and felt her heart soaring. Gods, she loved him. How disgusting.

The smile still on her lips, she nudged him with her hip and he nudged her right back.

“Want to head back down to the group?” he asked and her eyes looked back down to the crowd. Elain and Lucien were laughing in a corner so her eyes found Feyre and Rhys instead.

She watched the High Lord and Lady dance, Rhys doing ridiculous moves just to see his mate laugh and Feyre had never looked so beautiful.

Nesta looked back at Cassian, the soft smile on his face as he waited for her answer. He made her feel beautiful. He made her feel everything. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him away from the railing and closer to the back, where people were less likely to see them.

“No. I want to stay here. I don’t feel like sharing you more than I have to tonight.” she said softly and she felt him melt all over again. Some things didn’t need to be said aloud, their bond said it loud and clear. He loved her and she loved him.

Cassian wrapped his arms around her waist, dipping her back carefully, and kissed her. It was Nesta’s turn to melt in his arms as his lips caressed hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him close, the kiss matching the fire between them, and never had she felt happier than in that moment.

The stars began to fall.

The Lord of Bloodshed and his Lady Death spent it deep in their kisses.

The Fox and his Flower danced, with the promise of more to come later.

And the High Lord and Lady smiled, their eyes meeting, remembering all that had happened to get to this moment. They remembered their first Starfall together and how much their love has grown since then.

The Archeron sisters had finally gone to a party together and oh, what a party.

Oh, what a night.

#elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #nessain #nesta archeron #cassian #elucien fanfics #nessian fanfics #acotar fanfiction #feysand #also make an appearance so #gfics #fic: oh what a night

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sionisjaune · 5 months

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Quite a while ago @12romy tagged me in this, but I didn't get around to it until now

How many works do you have on AO3?

21. Sixteen are F1 RPF and the rest are Captive Prince.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

101,102 words! I just passed the 100k mark last week with my recent work and I am very proud of myself! Additionally, I also posted more than 50k this year alone (with more on the way), which is more than double what I posted last year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just F1 at the moment. I see myself continuing to write in this fandom for a while. I used to write Captive Prince fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

feedback on low latency (maxiel wip) 2. heist au part 1 3. girl!seb/christian 4. mafia carlando 5. sebchal influencer au

This is a pretty terrible representation of my fic imo, but these are all older works so it does make sense.

5. Do you responds to comments? Why or why not?

Always! If I haven't responded, I do intend to get around to it. I appreciate comments SO MUCH and I love to gab about my own fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have been told that the ending of the ships that go sailing (heist au part 2) was upsetting. Although as the author who knows what happens next, I don't find it to be particularly upsetting. I think that soft rock star (baby's first rpf) is decently angsty because of Lewis's sort of resigned hopelessness towards his continuing relationship with Nico, despite Nico getting engaged. Although I would argue it's still a pro brocedes fic, I also make the argument that the dynamic brocedes has going on is not good for Lewis.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Tell me why this is so hard to answer??? I am going to say the slimy moonlit riverbed canopied with devastated clouds. This is my extremely optimistic post Barcelona 2023 brocedes fic, and it ends with Lewis waking up to Nico having cooked him breakfast. To me the ending is extremely hopeful and romantic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet and hopefully not ever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YES. I use sex scenes to shore up or to explore emotional beats. Sex scenes are also a great way to work through relationship dynamics. I like my sex scenes to be super embodied and dynamic, and I like to be specific about where limbs are, what position participants are in etc. My general philosophy is to have a good "push and pull" between participants so that the dynamic doesn't get boring. This is also why you'll probably never see me write a straight up dom/sub dynamic. I just don't know how to write that type of scene.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really. If fusions count, then my craziest is a Kitchen Nightmares and Captive Prince fusion fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but someone asked recently, and I'm still thinking on it. I thought I would be okay with translations, but lately I've been thinking about the potential consequences of allowing someone else to control your work. I have a hard time with betaing, for example, because I can't stand to have my work be read in a state that it could be misinterpreted!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I have to credit a lot of my fic to discussions in the dms. I'm sort of working on a fic that was chat ficced to me so compellingly that I had to write it. Does that count?

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Lewis/Nico! This should come as no surprise. It is absolutely no contest with this one.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would love to be able to dig into any of the max/daniel wips in my gdocs, but I have terminal brocedes brainworms right now and am not currently able to write anything other than them. Sigh. It is so hard being a brocedes endgamer.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told lately that my writing is vibey and cinematic, and I would mostly agree! Imagery is very important to me insofar as cultivating the mood of the fic. I also think I make good, evocative verb choices.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I struggle to write non-explicit fic. The PWP format is awesome, but its a bit of a crutch for me. I also have no idea how to write time passing other than by simply ending the scene and starting a new one, or how to introduce sudden events other than by writing "Suddenly, [x happens]".

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Usually unnecessary, and a huge pain for readers if translations are only included in the notes. If used sparingly and intentionally, this can have a cool effect, but only if you take into account that your readers are probably not going to bother translating the dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I used to write self-insert Batman fic on Wattpad (lol). If we pretend my fanfic-writing career started on AO3, then Captive Prince.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Absolutely no contest. It's the slimy moonlit riverbed canopied with devastated clouds. I said a lot of what I wanted to say about brocedes in this one, and I got a lot of wonderful comments that make me think other readers feel the same!!!

I've seen a lot of mutuals do this one already, but if you made it down here and want to say I tagged you, go ahead!

#tag game

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theluxuriansecret · 1 month

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Diary Entry 03242024

11:39 pm

The night before I start the job I've been banking on, dreaming of, manifesting and I am so nervous but also very excited. I honestly have so many feelings stored away inside of me and I am having trouble finding ways to release them / manage them.

To begin, I know that we have entered eclipse season and tomorrow will be a full moon. There are a lot of emotions brewing in me like self doubt, will I be good enough for this job? Will my new coworkers like me? Am I okay with accepting rejection / failure? i honestly don't believe I'll ever be put in a situation I couldn't handle.

Which I guess brings me to my relationship. I have been devastated with the distance between us and how we don't get to spend actual quality time together as I was like. When I was manifesting the guy of my dreams, I always said I wanted him farrrrrrr away so that he would leave me alone. I guess I should've specified how far. 4 hours isn't that far, but it's far enough where we cannot see each other on a frequent basis. Today marks a month since I've seen him and honestly, I don't like it getting to be that long. I was starting to think if had accidentally repeated a cycle. But this man is NOTHING like my last LDR ex, honestly, the only thing similar is that he is fucking far. I miss him. I miss breathing the same air as him and I miss touching him, kissing him, holding him, looking into his beautiful brow eyes, the way he smells. I hate that I am in this again, but I'm truly hoping that we build our future together and come together soon.

I have been having very weird emotions about my parents lately. For starts, for MONTHS I have been wanting to have a conversation with him and really pick his brain about why he is who he is and does the things he does, or lack thereof. But today he came into my room in the span of 10 min to hug me and tell me he was proud of me and that he is there for me for anything. I was truly at a loss because where is that coming from? Why now? I'm basically finished growing up, all the hard times I really needed you, all those very moldable and vulnerable times are gone. Not to say I'm finished growing that will truly never end, but I am an adult now.. So, one of these days I'll plan something for us, but right now I am just focusing on myself.

My mother on the other hand, we got into not long ago and although we were able to "work through it" and move forward, I feel like because she won't be able to rely on me like she used to, she is really about to take a hit. But also, I was really getting tired of her relying on me for everything, alllll the time. Especially when there are two other capable adults in the house. I've had this conversation with her only once, but I really need her to get a grip and stop babying my brother. I understand that she is done with my dad and tired of begging him to do things he's proven he just won't do, which is whatever, but also not my problem and not my fault. Call me selfish but I did not build this family, and I truly don't intend to. Unfortunately, that is just not my purpose. I wish all of them luck to.

Anyway, only to lucky girl things. Only to love, luck, happiness, good health and prosperity. CHEERS xoxo

#online diary #dear diary #journal #secret diary #journaling #secret journal #new job #2024 #march 2024 #eclipse season #astrology #aries season

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chronocidalrage · 1 year

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Creepy Woods and Connection Shit

What is it about creepy woods that makes me feel so much? The feeling of a place that should be scary but totally isn’t. The feeling of fear being defeated. The feeling of being someplace empty and scary with Atom and somehow feeling completely safe and not alone. To be where you should only feel scared and alone, and not feeling that way at all because of a person who’s there with you. Someone to be with you in the loneliest, darkest places you could ever be in. That’s love. So creepy woods makes me think of love.

And the idea of being someplace beautiful and feeling love seems harder and further away to me. It’s probably been a long time since I’ve felt that way. But loved in a scary place? That’s the last way I ever felt loved anyway. It’s been so long since a place wasn’t scary to me.

So that means I associate love with fear. When I think of fear I think of love and vice versa. If only feeling loved cures my fears, then in my mind, that means fear is the biggest threat to love. They’re linked.

I have a problem attaining and retaining people/things I love. But I think that’s imagined.

When I think of the things I want and the things I love, I immediately feel fear. Because I know they’re so connected.

I always feel both and I prefer the ones that come with the least fear.

I’m on the couch with Susie on the other reclining side and Ruby pressed up against me laying with her face on the reclining part.

What am I afraid of with people? That I’ll lose them before I get them or I’ll get attached and THEN I’ll lose them.

PYUN I commented this on a Facebook post for the director Albert Pyun since he’s apparently near the end of his life. So sad.

Albert, I very clearly remember my older brother showing me Cyborg when I was (way too) young. The opening shot of the bridge with the incredible narration, the door busting open to reveal a dirty, devastated city street, the shot of Fender and his gang approaching with the fire behind them - I’ll never forget the beginning of this movie. It will always be the first thing I think of when I imagine living in some sort of post-apocalyptic world. More than Road Warrior or the future war from Terminator, this familiar landscape turned terrifying is always what I picture it being like. The movie captured the despair of a world so dark, but carried a feeling of lawless freedom and how amazing love would be in a world that’s otherwise joyless. Maybe you didn’t intend any of that, but I always felt it!

Some years ago I was lucky enough to finally see Nemesis, which I had always enjoyed the ads for when I was young, but had somehow never seen it. I was immediately in love with the mood of the movie, the amazing broken down locations, the kinetic camera work, the larger than life characters, the impressive stunts, and your ability to take any location and make it (and the people in it) look cool and way more expensive than it probably really was. Nemesis is a mix of so many things I love, fueled by pure imagination.

I’ve read that you haven’t been able to finish some recent projects, but I hope you realize that you’ve already done great work that you should be proud of. I certainly would be if I had your filmography, if I had brought these movies into the world. People will love your movies for decades and beyond. Your movies will make people’s days and nights, they’ll show them to their friends and marvel at the characters and stories Albert Pyun dreamed up. People will love your movies forever, or at least until the future of Cyborg becomes a reality. And even then, if someone finds a copy of Nemesis in the rubble of the old world, it would become a treasure. An artifact from the time when giants like Albert Pyun walked the earth.

DENZEL Just desperately wants to be in Goodfellas or something and be part of that crew and it’s completely insane that that’s difficult. Denzel with De Niro and Scorsese? That would be fucking insane and I can’t believe it hasn’t happened.

DOORS Door closed means I’m not welcome. I believe I have to respect that. In recent years I’ve felt so many doors close in my face that I started closing my doors instead. Beating them to it. Peeled the bandaid off. When I have a problem with someone I worry about the door closing.

It wasn’t just that Atom drinking hurt me, it’s that him exhibiting the exact behavior I was against made me feel unwelcome. His behavior told me “you don’t belong here.”

I’m lonely. But I don’t wanna let anyone in and I don’t wanna ask if I’m welcome anywhere else.

CONNECTION I feel incomplete. I feel loved when I’m connected. When I’m in sync with someone else. That’s why Susie or anyone else not meeting me in the middle on even small, unimportant things really fucks me up. I don’t feel comfortable on my own. I feel broken, empty, incomplete.

THE 99 I had fun being goofy at the 99 with Susie. What a silly, basic chain restaurant. She suggested going out for once and I suggested the 99 and it was as funny as we expected. People were doing trivia.

I’m sad all the time because I’m always trying to not think about the fact I lost Atom. I’m literally always sad about it and I’ve been this way since about 2018 when I realized it was gonna happen. That’s when I knew.

I’m always trying to be the person who didn’t need Atom’s love rather than the person who earned it. I forget that I’m not strictly the “person who didn’t need it.”

I feel sad, broken, and alone. And I have since 2018 and I’ve been working myself insane to avoid feeling this way. To deny it. To pretend I’m fine. To try to be Bond, John McClane, Jack Slater. But I’m not, I’m devastated and I’m broken. And I can’t believe it. I was supposed to never feel this way again. Because I was supposed to have Atom.

Growing up I felt like I had almost everything I needed. I had Atom to be my friend and brother, I just needed a girl. A partner. I just needed to be a boyfriend or husband as well as a brother. Then I thought I had both and it blew up. I just wanted both.

Now I don’t have Atom and sometimes I don’t even fully feel like I have Susie (not her fault, mine). I just feel so broken. What would I say to Atom if I could?

I miss you so much. Some days I don’t see the point in going on with such a lonely path ahead of me. But that’s the worst thing I could do to you. Throw away everything you’ve given me. And I need to believe that I’m NOT broken.

What would I want you to do if I had died? I’d hope you still love me forever. I’d hope you’d miss me but I’d want you to move on and be happy and alive and keep me alive within you. To remember me and the times we had and treat people well and show everyone how amazing you are. To enjoy your life. To realize you didn’t need me but I was so glad you thought you did. At least for a while. I’d want you to move on and keep fighting and I would legitimately WANT you to make your life even better than it was because I wouldn’t want to hold you back. I’d want you to have a happy life, full of everything you ever wanted. As long as you still loved me and missed me, and wished I was still with you, that’s all I’d need. Otherwise I’d want you to move on and live the most amazing life, the beautiful life you deserved.

And if it was me who died, I certainly wouldn’t have blamed you. I just would’ve wished I got to say goodbye and I would be so heartbroken I wouldn’t get to see you again and I’d feel bad for leaving you. For leaving you on your own. There would be no anger. No bitterness. I’d just miss you. I’d just hope you were okay.

Alright. I’ll try. But I’m gonna stop pretending I’m okay.

PAIN I think I’ve been struggling because low self esteem is about avoiding pain. And I’ve been through so much pain over the last 5-6 years. Things I always believed were my best decisions, have also brought me so much pain. And I guess I don’t know how to handle that. Because I refuse to believe some of these decisions were mistakes.

But maybe that’s just the way it is. All the best things come with pain. It will always be a trade off. That’s not to say that some things won’t be easier than others. But no matter how easy, your greatest love will also be your greatest loss. Or you’ll be theirs.

I guess I just need to reframe my concept of pain. Because my hatred of it is what holds me back. My fear of pain.

What is the pain that I’m carrying around everyday? Let’s think through it.

I’M NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE BY NOW. What specifically about that bothers me? That I feel like a failure and that I think everyone else can see it. But no one is aware of the full extent of my dreams but me. Other people don’t look at me and see me as a failure, they don’t think of me now in comparison to what I wanted to be. Only I do. And how miserable about that am I really? Eh. I guess I’m okay with it. I just hope I get to finally be comfortable in my body and make cool shit at some point. I’m not exactly upset that I haven’t done all that already, I’m just getting scared that I’ll never reach that point. I have control over that though. So remember those two things: you STILL CAN reach those goals if you want to, and NO ONE BUT YOU is looking at you and thinking you’re a failure.

I FAILED (AND LOST) ATOM. I didn’t fail him, although I realize I’ll probably always feel that way, he was my best friend and brother and we were supposed to look out for each other. But I DID look out for him, despite how much damage it did to me, our relationship, and my relationship with my friends and family. I fucking tried. I tried even though it was deeply painful. I tried to keep our relationship good while also trying to be a disruptor of his unhealthy lifestyle. An incredibly difficult balance. I tried to get other people to help me, and they failed that challenge, not me. Even if I DID fail Atom, I didn’t fail him as much as most other people in his life did. Also (and I apologize for this), I didn’t fail Atom as much as he failed himself. I’m sorry, I hate saying that but it’s true. And it’s a good point, because even though Atom failed to look out for himself, I know he did try and just didn’t have the proper tools. I don’t judge him for it, it doesn’t make me look down on him, it doesn’t make me think less of him or love him less. I just wish he had pulled through, pulled it off. Just like I wish I had. I guess it’s okay. There’s no true positive to a tragedy like this and it will always be a tragedy in my life and that makes sense. This is the hardest pain to work my way through but that’s by design. I love(d) Atom with all my heart and short of him deciding to fight for his future when it could’ve made a difference, there’s no way this was gonna have a happy ending. It’s just a tragedy. It is what it is and my pain makes sense.

NO FAMILY UNITS. This sucks, and the pain is completely reasonable, but I need to remember a few things: everyone failed me more than I failed them/myself. And that failure is a reflection on them, not me. I’ve always worked super hard to keep units together. Always. It’s not my fault if other people aren’t willing to invest as much as me. I want more, and I deserve more. I just need to find new units and I need to believe in them and believe I’m deserving of them. I deserve more and I can find more in this world. Stop blaming yourself for other people’s limits. And Scott and mom aren’t going anywhere. They don’t want to lose me either. Remember that.

I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. Failure is fine, the problem is not learning from it. And just because you HAVE failed, that doesn’t mean you always WILL fail.

SO WHAT PAIN IS REAL? That you lost your best friend and brother. That will always be painful and it would be fucked up if it wasn’t. I’m allowed to be upset that things aren’t as I hoped they would be by now, but that’s not an indicator of my worth, and those things are still on the table. If I was truly miserable and unsatisfied with my life, I would’ve completely changed it by now, so obviously I technically like my life.

GREEN DAY THOUGHTS Green Day makes me want to live. I always forget that. I forget that they were kinda the first thing I found “on my own.” The first thing that was just for me. No one showed them to me, no one suggested them, no one I knew liked them, they just connected with me perfectly. Their sound, their look, the visuals of their videos, their vibe, the subject matter of their songs. There’s a part of who I am that connects with all that better than anything and I always forget that. They kinda bring me back to a time when I felt like a whole person on my own.

Still Breathing is a pretty cool song too. Definitely about deciding to live again, and I should remember it when I need it. Not sure if BJ meant it this way, but it’s a valid point that “I’m still breathing on my own.” I’m keeping myself alive. I am capable of sustaining my own life, no one else is making me breathe, I am doing that all by myself.

HEAVEN AND HELL Are metaphorical concepts from the dawn of time that humans have stupidly made literal. I’ve been in hell for years, and lately it’s been self-imposed hell. Suffering.

Your “sins” are whatever you did to end up in hell. Whatever you did that led to your suffering. Loving someone. Whatever.

Then you have to pay for your sins. Learn from them so you can get back to “heaven” (AS IN: a place of happiness with loved ones). If you don’t learn the right lesson, you get stuck. If you think the answer is to not love people, you’ll be stuck. I’d you think you’re still supposed to be learning that you’re a fuck up, you’re gonna stay there. Those are the lessons I’m stuck at.

I feel guilty. I feel bad about putting mom in this little space and I’ll feel bad either way. Either I force her to cram a kitchen in there or I force her to live without a kitchen.

And I’m worried that this will be like Atom’s hair. The flat out no. The impossible situation.

I’m wracked with guilt. Guilt that dad and Atom are dead and I get to keep living. That I may have a good life even without them. That I may be happy again. Guilt about moving mom and taking her house with Atom’s money. About being happy or doing well because of something getting worse for my family.

My actions have involved so much suffering that I don’t feel capable or deserving of happiness. It seems impossible to me. Even if I end up happy somehow, it’ll be at the expense of someone else and there goes my happiness. Guilt.

Food and movies are the only forms of joy I feel both capable and deserving of. Everything with any sort of resistance, I see as either beyond my reach or beyond my worth. That’s why I want an easy yes. I don’t wanna fight for something because that tells me I don’t deserve it.

Why do I always feel so guilty? Guilty as in responsible for pain. Either mine or someone else’s. I just always feel like I’m responsible for pain. Anywhere from annoyance to anguish, anywhere from myself to a stranger I talk to for 10 seconds. I just feel like I’m a dark cloud. Something just going around and spoiling things. Failing to do the right thing, easily succeeding in doing the wrong thing.

I think I haven’t been drawing because it feels weird to sit down and draw in a world without Atom. It feels wrong to be able to enjoy that when he can’t. Because I watched him do it and thought “I wanna do that.” He was my first hero. How can I draw when I lost my original inspiration to do it? Just seems fucked up. EDIT: It’s because I no longer see it as something that will get me connection and I’m having trouble finding a reason to do it for myself.

I’m glad I’m playing guitar and singing more though. This was always really therapeutic for me.

HAPPINESS I think the problem in simplest terms is that I don’t believe I’m deserving or capable of happiness. If I DO achieve happiness, it’s at the expense of someone else. If happiness is available and no one would be harmed in the process, I fail to attain it.

Had a long talk with Susie. She’s right. I need to stop carrying the responsibility for other people’s pain, they’re not carrying responsibility for mine, even when they should.

I think it really comes down to this: I finally stood up to people. Said no when they wanted me to say yes. Fought for what I thought was right no matter how hard, and not only did Atom still die, but my family and Dan never joined me in the fight and still haven’t even acknowledged that I WAS doing the right thing and was doing it alone without proper support.

It feeds into my belief that fighting for myself/what I think is right will always blow up in my face. That it’s not worth it. That advocating for myself or the greater good just isn’t a good idea. I really wish I had won that one.

But instead I should look at it like this: I had my Captain America moment. All odds were against me, I was on my own and I still got up, dusted myself off, and kept fighting. I should always remember that about myself: I kept fighting. I didn’t tell people what they wanted to hear afterwards, I didn’t go backwards, I stuck to my fight and that is brave. It’s not about winning, you won’t always win. It’s about fighting anyway.

THE VOID IS NORMAL Get comfortable with the void inside me. Because without Atom, it’ll always be there to some extent. Because he’s irreplaceable.

That’s the problem. I socialize to connect. To fill the void. And that’s tough. Instead, I should look at it like a normal person: “eat something, play some games, catch up and see how people are.”

HE FOUND SOMEONE I think Atom died happy. He did find love and he died with it in his life. We’d both been avoiding saying goodbye over the last few years because I think we both saw it coming. That last day we saw each other, we were both avoiding saying it. I think during that phone call, we were trying to make sure we said the bare minimum just in case. At least say the important things: that I was sorry, I was happy for him, I supported him and wanted to catch up. That he was happy, that he supported me doing what was right for me, that he wanted me to draw more because I was good. That we loved each other. In a lot of ways, it makes sense. It seems like we knew somehow.

YOUNG SUSIE Susie sent me this picture of her from a few years before we met. She’s drunk at her apartment in New Bedford with Dave and she’s so beautiful. She’s the living definition of love in a hopeless place, someone so beautiful and alive, surrounded by darkness. She’s like a True Romance character. Oh my god that’s how I see our relationship in a lot of ways. She’s Alabama and I’m Clarence. She’s the beautiful, strong, funny, determined girl who has survived so much and I’m the movie nerd who works at the comic book store and can’t believe she loves me and is willing to do anything to earn and protect that love. NOTE: Susie if you read this, I hope you see it as a compliment. I certainly mean it that way.

I think I saw True Romance and thought it was the most romantic thing I had ever seen, for whatever reason. That’s what I’ve always wanted I think. I think Susie may have been looking for Sandy and Kirsten from the OC (although she’s way better than Kirsten and I’m not quite to Sandy’s level yet but I’m working on it).

BEING BETTER Do what you would do if connection wasn’t an option and disconnection wasn’t a punishment. I should find a physical activity I enjoy like boxing or rock climbing.

Growing up, I got to skip getting used to being alone because of Atom. So I’m resistant to the feeling. I hate the temptation of being around people but I’m removed from the “gamble” if I’m alone.

I’m obsessed with connection. I look at everything in terms of it.

Take connection out and focus on your other goals.

The things I want to do are the things I most associate with feeling connected: eating and watching things. Those activities have always worked for me so I go to them.

That’s why I always want Susie to want the same thing as me: so we can connect. That’s why I’m less interested if only I want something. I need to share. Because I was terrified of the world and having Atom showed me how much better and less scary the world is when you’re truly connected. So I only wanted that. I never had to get used to that kind of soul death that prevents you from having that spark of life. I got to feel alive and large because I had support. Settling for less is really hard.

But Atom and I knew we were disconnecting. Me because I was moving forward and wasn’t willing to adjust my path, him because he was standing still and didn’t believe he was able to catch up to me. It’s not that he thought what I said was wrong. It’s that he didn’t think I understood how hard it was from his end. He agreed with me though. We were both reeling from what was happening and trying to make each other understand. We wished the other understood. That’s why we lost each other. What was happening to me was happening to both of us.

My definition of happiness is sharing it with someone else. I don’t really know how to be happy on my own.

THAT’S when I felt most loved by mom: at dinner. She showed me love with food and paid attention to me and listened to stories about my day and I got to share the experience with Atom. When I couldn’t get that “full family” connection I ate and watched TV instead of sitting at the table.

I think I hated being alone. I was fine with keeping myself company but I didn’t like being alone in general. So when I WAS alone I focused on doing things I could ONLY do alone: masturbating, eating junk food. I always wanted to be connected. I hated getting my own room and no longer sharing with Atom. Then I started having nightmares and always wanted to sleep with mom and dad. My cat Flash was an attempt to make me feel less alone. I hated being alone. And I guess I still do.

And connection is like anything else: you have to realize you can’t have it all the time. You have to realize it’s supposed to be a bonus. Not a requirement of life. I mean, you need it, but it’s not like air. You don’t need it every second or you’ll die. You need it like you need food. You need enough to sustain your life but if you overdo it, you run into problems. A treat here and there is fine but excess causes problems. It’s different when you have a family because the whole family needs to connect in order to sustain that lifestyle. It’s mutually beneficial so you’re meeting a need and odds are you’re not doing it alone. The load is getting carried. My brain sees connection as life sustaining so I treat it like I treat food, which I treat like it’s air.

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rosapehrson15 · 2 years

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Nashville Flood Relief instructions Amazing Tennesseans

Inspired by so many of my fellow Nashvillians, I spent some time this weekend break with flood sufferers; people whose resiliency amazes me. I was humbled, sorrowful and a bit stunned at one time. The reality involving loss hits tough when you find yourself walking down streets that appear similar to third entire world disaster areas. My partner and i saw people's life stacked up throughout dusty piles in their front back yards. I saw kids toys and home furniture destroyed; ripped away from each other by the pure force of rushing water. I observed cyclone fences along with debris embedded consequently tightly that this seemed like an archaic paper mache design. I saw individuals spending so much time; even beaming - repairing precisely what was left involving their homes in addition to demonstrating the kind of courage we all only find when we are removed of the choice. Whenever the pieces include to be gathered and reassembled rapidly; minus the time for tears and suffering and mourning. The group was giving out ice ointment and drinks to be able to these ravaged neighborhoods which seems practically insignificant when confronted with such disheartenment. However, on a new hot, dirty day, cold, sweet snow cream or lemonade can seem powerful close to paradise. One family, sitting down on the floor in the empty house seated with a lover, drying out the particular family photos. Through the look of the house, that may nicely are already all of which was saved. An additional woman, through equally smiles and crying told me a fantastic story of the woman faithful German Shepherd, Rebel, barking protectively as we got into contact with. Rebel saved the girl daughter's life. Any time the waters obtained so dangerously large, this woman acquired handed over Rebel's leash to the particular daughter, and Rebel had "swam the woman out". read more devoted animal had used over when this kind of woman could hardly. Just what a story : and Rebel is simply not a puppy. He or she turned nine about 9/9/09, she informed me. "Rebel is zero ordinary dog; your dog is a present. " In all that she'd lost, this girl understood gratefulness in a level that most of us is just not ever be called to. When requested the awkward "How are you undertaking? " question, there was only positive replies. "We are good. " "We're doing good. " "We happen to be lucky. " Sure, "Lucky. " I suppose in the large scheme of issues, there were varying deg of luck or perhaps fate. I speculate if I can have uttered that will word if I was in their shoes and boots. And there I actually stood - seeing monumental grief plus profound appreciation; cry of sorrow and even tears of pleasure and hope. Generally there amidst the shattered lives and residences of many who else didn't have a lot to begin with; here am I. I, who possess been blessed whenever I do not necessarily deserve it. I, who've been given gifts that I would have been as well ignorant to inquire. I, with my personal goodies in hand and my vehicle waiting to drive us home. Home to be able to my house within Tennessee. Though I am not a local, and I hold my gulf coast roots dear, I are inspired and astonished at the mother nature of people of this state, and I have become so proud to be one of all of them. I have seen examples of the elegance capable of a persons spirit and generosity that goes further than obligation, and I actually is better intended for having seen this. I've seen arsenic intoxication God through the triumph and disaster within the span associated with a devastated town block. I've noticed "loving your neighbor" in action. We've seen it in Tennessee.

#How to Determine Your Passion #click here #more info #here #read more #website #get more info #check here

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yandere-sins · 3 years

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The Exception

My friend let me try playing Hades on her switch and well... I kinda liked it. Namely, I liked all the characters, so my brain went like “what if they were yandere” and I had an idea for this story that I threw together this morning before working on the Fox Wedding (: The latter isn’t done yet, but this sure is, so who knows, mayhaps some of you will enjoy it! Just tried to answer the question how we could get Thanatos to whisk us away.

Characters: Yandere!Thanatos x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Blood, War, Wounds/Impaling, Major Character Death (???) or well dying, I read into greek history for almost an hour but if I gotten something wrong then so be it

Thanatos had seen enough of the world to know that he didn't want to stay on the surface forever.

The current battle spreading before him was a mere reason to sigh deeply as he watched bodies fall left and right, their souls soon leaving to a better, or perhaps worse, place. It was mandatory he stayed, but Thanatos was well aware of which side was winning and which was losing. It was his duty and his work to know these things, even though it didn't make the fighting any less futile in his eyes.

Letting his gaze wander over the battlefield, he watched the red splatters on the ground, heard the crushing sounds of iron against iron and the cacophony of fearful and devastating screams. He still couldn't believe Zagreus would want to come to such a place. A place where there was futile fighting and too much light, but perhaps, it was a world that fit the Prince of the Underworld, as he was the same, even if Thanatos only recognized this fact bitterly.

Finally, the battle was closing in on its end, just like the hundreds of people that found their death because of it. The ones who weren't dead yet slowly but surely started to hesitate and retreat. Even as the personification of death, Thanatos reckoned that a pointless death was scary, even though so many humans chose it over desertion. Their death was inevitable, preordained by Thanatos sisters. Still, he had seen many hold on to the last sparks of hope that they could escape Thanatos' grasp.

And then, on the other side of the coin, were those that practically would have offered their life to Hades and fought to the end.

You weren't an exception. Yes, your quest and pride were your downfall, and by the gleam in your eyes Thanatos could tell you knew. You knew and recognized that you'd die. However, as if you were spiting him personally, you still continued to fight ahead of everyone else, gaining questioning glances from your comrades and contempt from your enemies, which you pulled to the ground one after another and sending them to hell.

Many before you had this overzealous compulsion to make that best out of their inevitable demise. Thanatos would admit that yes, most had a good reason for it, like saving their family or fighting for their own life. Others simply lucked out on the gift of pride and ignorance, forcing themselves and occasionally many more lives with them into the deep, dark pits of death.

What was your reason? Thanatos wondered.

He still had time before he needed to take action, he could allow himself a short - minuscule, really - different thought than his upcoming work, and you presented yourself so nicely to him as the incarnation of death waited for the end of today's battle. It wasn't often that he had the leisure to let his thoughts wander, so Thanatos intended to use these few seconds, which would fall under the radar, to still his curiosity.

By the looks of it, you weren't an inexperienced fighter. Or perhaps, you were just a farmer judging by your muscles. Surely, you seemed enthusiastic about your task, so were you fighting for something more significant than the glory of your country? Family? A loved one? Thanatos couldn't help but be curious about what your drive was, as he had seen so many reasons, yet they were all the same. Perhaps, yours was new?

Even so, you were graceful as you swung your sword around. What did he know about footwork, but at least, yours seemed to pay off as you weren't dead yet. When one of your foes managed to smack off your helmet, Thanatos believed that was it, but alas, you regained your strength, charging at the very same attacker.

In a way, fighting was like an elaborate play. The only difference was that neither of the parties knew the other one's move. The person reacting better was the winner. He couldn't find joy in watching wars, but even Thanatos had to admit that it was a joy watching you. Even if you lacked the enthusiasm as the heroic shades that lingered below, like Theseus, had, you fought a fight worth mentioning in the books as well.

Every move you made, Thanatos could see the calculations in your eyes, that keen shine reflecting in them. The sun seemed to break through the clouds just to reach out to you, making your armor sparkle in its rays. Yes, you were a formidable human, and Thanatos caught himself thinking that it was a shame you were fighting even if you looked so beautifully while doing it.

Taking another deep breath, he could see the swirls in the air left by it. While the winter wasn't affecting him, no matter how little clothes he wore, Thanatos felt a second of pitiful understanding for everyone who had to fight in those conditions. Undoubtedly, the cold armors, freezing hands and weapons, and frozen ground were another nemesis for every soldier out here. Even if their bodies stayed warm from adrenaline and running, it certainly was another reason many of your human bodies gave out quicker, merely submitting to their fate. It was fair enough for Thanatos. It meant his work was over faster, and judging by you being circled and the other soldiers at your side beginning to see the end coming towards them with long spears and sharp swords, it was all over soon.

You had fought bravely, that much he could give you. Perhaps you had impressed him enough to put in an unusual good word for you with Hypnos, who'd pass it on to Hades himself, granting you a shot on being put into Elysium. But your fate had long been decided, and as you fell to the ground, the battlefield erupted in victorious screams, announcing your time of death.

And also, his start of work.

As the winners retreated one after one, happy whenever they found a friend that survived too, Thanatos passed by them and onto the battlefield instead. Unseen by the human eye, he began his duty of reaping, one soul after the other, as mangled and frustrated over their death as they were, following his orders as he shushed them away. Usually, some pleaded and bargained with him for another shot of life, but even if Thanatos had wanted, there was no way for him to help them. But that day, everyone seemed awfully aware that there was no negotiating nor mercy waiting for them as they looked at his figure, frightened and frustrated. A pointless battle, with meaningless deaths, brought forth the self-pity in them, but this wasn't the first battle Thanatos tended to, so he felt nothing akin to that. It also wasn't his duty to take care of the souls gathered here, as it was Hermes' job to lead to them.

He had something very different on his agenda. You.

It was unfortunate for both of you, but when he reached you, you had yet to breathe your last breath. One eye slowly and in pain, opened, the other one damaged from the blow to the head you had received. However, as you looked at him, serene clarity laid in your gaze, and you recognized him, mayhaps by the giant scythe he carried around. Your stare was clear and less afraid than he expected you to be when acknowledging him, but you closed your eyes as a cough overcame you, hot, red blood dripping down your lips.

"Guess that's it," you croaked, and Thanatos could only stare. Conversing… wasn't his strong suit, and there wasn't exactly a reason to talk to you.

"Are you going to kill me?" you continued, undeterred by his silence, and Thanatos weighed his actions. "No, of course not," he eventually spoke, shaking his head slowly, the hood on his head shifting along to his movement.

"Ouch, that's cruel. You'll just wait until I die like this?"

Your words were nothing he hadn't heard before, and he didn't feel offended by them. However, he didn't expect your lips to briefly curl into a smile, adding a jesting notion to what you said. Even that wasn't new, but… it struck a chord inside the usual stoic bringer of death. "I can't end your suffering," Thanatos explained, hoping you'd simply know about the unspoken rule that he couldn't harm you.

"I think, I get it," you heaved, feeling worse by the minute. "You are just making sure I know I am supposed to die here."

That assumption wasn't wrong, even though there had been more playing into his service than just that. Too many kept trying to escape their fate, and sort of, Thanatos was just checking and cleaning up what would be left. You still had some time before your organs would fail and finally take you to the grave, different from the other souls that were already leaving for their new home.

"No, you will die here," he retorted firmly.

"I could," you chuckled, followed by another painful cough.

"Don't test me, Mortal."

In between deep breaths, you allowed yourself a short laugh. Just like him, you were probably aware that there was nothing worse that could happen to your situation, so his threat was just a way he hoped to shut you up with. In silence, he watched over you, until eventually, your eye opened up again. This time your gaze was searching for him - or something really - but your sight had already begun to cloud. No matter how proud and achieved you are in life, in the face of death, everyone looked the same.

"I think I did a good job. You know, fighting. Thought that if I already had to do it, I might as well give it my damn best."

More coughing. Thanatos watched the puddle of blood around you grow by the second. The spear inside your body must have been stirring up your insides the more you talked. Thanatos had expected something like this, you, young as you still were, had been led by the belief that doing your best could make up for the fact that you'd die. "But in the end, it was worth nothing, right? We lost after all."

Thanatos could only stare as he wondered what you expected him to say. He came here, knowing your life would end here, so really, the hope you had put into yourself didn't have the same disappointment to him now as it did to you. And yet, as he listened to you, seeing your body battered up with cuts and bruises, for the first time in centuries, he felt something akin to pity for you, and you specifically.

"Why did you fight then?" he asked, perhaps against your expectations.

"Why? Because they told us too. The King ordered us to fight this battle, and only he could have known how many soldiers our opponent would bring."

"You could have run." Thanatos tried to stay as detached from you as possible, though it didn't quite work, your words taking their influence on him. "Can you?" you retorted before letting out a long sigh. Death was near, literally as well as figuratively.

"Can you run from your duties? You don't have to do this either, do you?"

"I do--"

"Really?"

There was no immediate response this time, your question justified, despite your little mortal soul undoubtedly never understanding the burdens on the shoulders of Gods. The world would stop if they all decided to not continue their work and fulfill their duties and expectations. If Thanatos stopped, no one would die anymore, and but the suffering of everything would never disappear too.

"Dying sucks," you whispered, turning your head away.

"I reckon," he muttered indifferently. Not like he could talk about it from experience. It must be painful, dreadful, and, depending on the circumstances, frustrating too. Right now, though he couldn't imagine the extent, you must have felt so hopeless and so, so scared. There wasn't much other reason for your banter.

"Thanatos… I always thought it was a pretty name, even if everyone feared it." Regaining his attention after finding himself momentarily lost in thoughts, he looked down at you again, watching as your eyelid closed slowly. "Say what you want, but you can't blame them for fearing death, and alas, me."

"Perhaps if they talked to you, they wouldn't be so afraid."

"Meaning you don't feel so afraid anymore?"

A smile danced over your lips once more, a truly unusual sight for a soul so close to their end, and especially after talking to him. Hypnos often teased Thanatos with being too formal and dutiful to be amusing, and Hades beware, comforting. Though he didn't care for his twin's words, yours did make him feel... happy.

"Let's go then," you whispered, and Thanatos kneeled down, his hand falling to your wrist, listening to your pulse. Even with the feeling of your heart still desperately pumping blood through your body, only to lose it through your wounds, you didn't utter another word afterwards. You undoubtedly were dying, but perhaps, for now, you were merely unconscious as your lungs didn't stop reaching for air, and your heart used all your strength to function.

Once more, the sun broke through the clouds, shining down right at you two, bringing Thanatos into the predicament of being blinded as it reflected off your armor. Perhaps he understood it now. Understood how unfair it was that someone like you, innocent and kind, was doomed to die out here. How awful his job on this day was, forcing him to take you to Tartarus and put you before the judgment of the god residing there.

So what if... he didn't.

He couldn't heal your wounds, nor make you feel better. But what he could do is battle the fate, earn the scorn of many, but at least, even if he took out the spear from your bloody body, you'd live. You'd live to tell your tale, and who knew, even he could apply some bandages, so maybe you'd recover some.

It was a risk, and one Thanatos did not like taking, nor found pleasure in executing. But you couldn't refuse to come to this battle, whereas he, perhaps, after all these years, could refuse to do his job once. For your sake, and unbeknownst to him at that time, for his own even more.

His scythe disappeared in favor of Thanatos grabbing for the dreadful spear. Never before had he experience the kind of sound a wound could make from so close, and by the gods, he hoped he never would again. It was just your luck that you were unconscious, or the pain would have perhaps killed you faster than your wounds.

Leaning down, he scooped you up, his hand sullied with your blood and the dirt on the ground. The snow wasn't cold when he touched it, but your body was warm in his arms and still alive. Your threat of fade wasn't cut yet, and he wouldn't do it. With you in his arms, he stepped back, looking into your sleeping face before he retreated from the battlefield with a quiet, "Let's go."

No, the surface wasn't a place Thanatos liked to linger. It was too loud, too wrong, and too bright. But to see your smile, lively and happy, one more time, he didn't need to stay above ground. Where you were going, it was dark and, at times, lonely if you weren't a being born there. But you'd also be safe and alive for as long as you wished to.

And Thanatos would be with you, even if everyone would turn against him and his decision, for all eternity if he must.

#thanatos #thanatos hades #yandere thanatos #yandere!thanatos #hades #hades the game #yandere hades #yandere!hades #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

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cow-smells · 3 years

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You send them an anonymous love letter [Cobra Kai Headcanons]

Request: Hey! I’m a little new at this whole thing, sorry in advance! I really like your work and writings! It’s super awesome to read! You do a great job! I was wondering if you could do something like an imagine or head canon for Miguel, Robby, Demetri, and Hawk about each of them individually finding an anonymous love letter and trying to figure out who it is + their reaction to finding out it’s (y/n). That would be lovely and I would appreciate it a lot! You’re the best! ( @i-am-lost-and-need-a-map )

A/N: tysm!!! this warmed my heart!! i loved this request!!

+ to all those who’ve sent in requests, I do intend to get to those! tbh i’ve kind of been uninspired to write something lengthy (despite getting some requests i really love) and this headcanon request came just in time.

Words: 1119

Warnings: None

Miguel / Robby / Demetri / Hawk under the cut:

Miguel

His heart would simply implode

this boy is a massive romantic at heart; such a romantic gesture would be sure to captivate him

he'd spend literally his entire day thinking about the letter, about who you might be

he'd scan the girls (and even guys) at school wondering who's behind the letter

trying to see if he catches anyone looking at him other than the usual

he now puts in wayyy too much effort in to how he looks knowing someone has a crush on him

he gets a little discouraged when he doesn't find out who wrote the letter quickly enough

he fears you may have moved on from him, making former insecurities come to life

when you see him looking down you leave him an anonymous note cheering him up, and he does cheer up instantly knowing you're still there and care for him

one day he comes in early to school and sees you slipping a note in to his locker

that's when he knows

he doesn't hesitate to go right up to you to talk about it, even though he's stunned

he never knew he was even on your radar

so he was very happy to find out that he certainly was

he asks you out to golf n stuff right then and there for your first date

Robby

he would legit think it was a prank at first

to the point he'd crumple up your letter and throw it away right after reading it

its not that he didn't like it – it was just so hard for him to believe anyone cared for him that his first instinct would be to write it off as a joke

he'd confront his friends about it

when he noticed they really didn't seem to write it – or know what he was talking about - he was even more confused

they'd make fun of him for receiving a love letter

but he wouldn't care. He'd go find the crumpled up letter and take it home with him, re-examining it

he really didn't want to get his hopes up, but his heart would race at the thought that it might be from you

the next time you two would hang out he'd try to bring up the idea of a love letter to see your reaction

the knowing smile you wore said everything

he decided to take the plunge and kiss you

you (unintentionally) quoted something loving you wrote to him and he swooped on you again, hardly believing this fairy tale is his life

Demetri

oh boy, was he unprepared for this

Demetri struggles with the thought of literally anyone finding him attractive, so for someone to go as far as to write him something so full of affection and want the way you did? Astounding

Once the reality of the situation would sink in, his ego would inflate to dangerous extents

he would be constantly smirking

he wouldn't talk to Sam too much at school so that whoever his admirer is won't think there's anything going on between them

makes sure to find times in between classes and at lunch where he's alone so maybe you'll be able to gather up the courage to walk up to him and expose yourself

when that doesn't immediately happen his pessimistic tenancies come back full swing, thinking you'll never reveal yourself

despite that, he has your letter hung up in his bedroom

behind his door, so he sees it every morning when he wakes up (and so his parents don't)

when he kinda winds down from the whole love letter ordeal he goes to lab where you're partnered up with him

“So how's your week been?”

Thinking back to the letter, he can't hide his proud grin

“Pretty good. Actually, really good”

“Should I assume that's because of my letter?”

he's floored

he liked you, but never thought you could have been harboring such deep feelings for him

you were so out of his league

he wants to reply but he gets stuck in his stuttering, then the teacher walks in and class starts

which is lucky for him, because that gives him 45 minutes to get his shit together and collect the courage to ask you out, to which you happily agree

Hawk

he finds your letter when he opens his locker

coincidentally, his friends are with him and see it

he plays it off cool, like he's so unbothered/unsurprised because he has so many admirers

but, he doesn't show them the contents of the letter, putting it back in his locker to retrieve later when he's alone

his mind races all day, thinking about that letter and he hasn't even opened it yet

he wants to rip it open once he gets home but rather he takes gentle care opening the envelope, making sure not to rip anything

he reads the letter over three times, savoring every word

by the time he goes to bed he's unintentionally memorized half of it

Hawk just so happened to be nursing a massive crush on you

he didn't want to get his hopes up too high, hoping it was from you, because if it wasn't he would be devastated

he didn't even consider it being written by anyone else, he was so set on you

so despite his nerves he urged himself to go and find out who's behind the love letter

the next time he sees you is at a beach party

you're friends, so you talk for a while before he drops it on you:

you offer to go get drinks

“Nah, let me. I owe you at least that much after what you left in my locker, don't I?”

he makes sure not to be too specific in his wording in case it wasn't you

but you can't help but turn red

“How did you know it was me?”

“I didn't”

your jaw falls at his manipulation

so you start to ramble on what you were thinking when you wrote him that letter, trying to reason it-

he shuts you up with a kiss

you don't mind one bit

it's longggg in to your relationship when he admits he keeps that letter in a box under his bed

#cobra kai imagine #cobra kai #cobra kai headcanon #miguel diaz #miguel diaz imagine #cobra kai hawk #eli moskowitz imagine #cobra kai demetri #robby keene #robby keene imagine

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phoenixthemenace · 2 years

Text

I honestly wasn't going to do the Angstpril challenge, but then I saw a screencap of Johnny from the movie where they become captains. He looked so sad and then my brain was off and running. So..here's two short ones for days 1 and 2...

Day 1 'l didn't mean for this to happen'

I didn't mean for this to happen. I never meant to make it this far, but you refused to let me go. Just like I did you, I guess. Now we sit here at this stupid table in the too bright sun nursing these ridiculously small coffees, our new insignia on our jackets.

You beam at me with pride. I try to follow suit. It's not that I'm not proud of you. I am. I just… never meant to reach this point with you. You keep talking about the past, our greatest rescues. Our former crewmates. The shadows grow long and soon we're the only ones left at the tables.

I never meant for this to happen. This moment of parting. I know all the pledges and promises and kids birthday parties are meaningless. We'll inevitably drift apart. Well. You'll drift. My fate was sealed the day I borrowed your pen five years ago.

That's why I never meant to make it this far. But you fought too hard for me, all those times it was me on the ground, injured, sick and bleeding. Because I knew I couldn't face this.

And now we stand here in awkward silence. The moment is at hand. I want to yell and scream and rage at you for saving me all those times. Forcing me to this point. This time. This parting.

I try to be brave. I say your name and your hopeful eyes seek mine and lose my nerve and look away. You reassure me we'll stay in touch. And we turn and walk down the stairs. The moment is at hand. I pat your back as we descend.

I never meant for this to happen.

Day 2 'Can't go home'

Your mouth told me how happy, how proud you were of this achievement. And I saw in your eyes you were. For me. But I also saw a devastating sense of loss deeper down. I tried to reassure you and you pat my back as we went down the stairs to the parking lot. A familiar gesture that I know I'm going to miss.

I'll miss working by your side. My career will never be the same again. I know I wouldn't be who I am today if you had not signed those papers five years ago. Our partnership may be over, but we'll always be friends.

You said goodbye, promised again to come next week, and all but ran to your Rover. I smile, knowing how awkward these situations make you feel. When you come over next week we'll compare schedules and plan a camping trip or something.

You're my best friend, and I intend to keep it that way.

You stay on my mind as I drive home. I'm about to turn down my street when out of nowhere, I can't breathe. I manage to pull over and my vision shrinks to a pinpoint.

A pinpoint of the past five years. The best five years of my life. The five years of you.

And I suddenly understand what your eyes were trying not to tell me.

I can't go home. I have you find you and throw myself at your feet and beg you to tell me where we go from here.

I park next to your Rover, happy to see that you're here. My jacket is suddenly too restrictive so I shed it and fling it onto the passenger seat, on top of my hat, and sprint for the stairs.

I'm halfway up when I hear a sound and I look. Damn it. I looked. A family of four, the same ages as me, my wife and kids, are playing happily together in the pool. I climb slowly to the landing and sink into the shadows where I watch for a while. I gaze down the hallway to your door while my heart shatters.

I can't go home.

#angstpril2022 #emergency!#johnny gage #roy desoto #day one #day two #i didn't mean for this to happen #can't go home

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kal-djarin · 3 years

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Attached

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: January 30th, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: none that I know of?

Request: nah

A/N: so this is my first time ever writing anything so I am so sorry if it is terrible, I didn't have the guts to proof-read it. Also, sorry if the romance feels rushed, I tried to time it as best as I could. Please let me know how I can make my writing better!!!

Word Count: 4.4k (I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO LONG UNTIL I FINISHED)

Obi-Wan Kenobi has always had an addictive personality, to say the least. He had a way of making light of any situation with his sarcastic quips and quick wit, even during the most gruesome of battles. Maybe this was the cause of your ever-growing infatuation with the reputable Jedi or perhaps it was the way he always had a hint of rebellion in his eyes, despite his groomed appearance and strict code-abiding ways.

As Plo-Koon’s padawan, you weren’t able to see Obi-Wan as often as you wished, but it made even the smallest of interactions memorable; just making eye contact with the man while walking through the halls of the Temple resulted in sleepless nights. Even Anakin began to sense your constant flustered state whenever his Master walked into the room, no matter how hard you tried to keep those feelings out of your force signature. He teased you constantly and would always try to see how embarrassed he could make you in front of Obi-Wan.

Once you and Anakin underwent the Knighting ceremony, he went as far to tell you to follow your heart and confess your feelings for him.

“Y/N, you can’t keep walking through life bottling up every emotion you feel!” Anakin said, exasperated

“Isn’t that the whole point of being a Jedi,” you say, not at all surprised that it would be Anakin telling you to rebel against the Order.

“And anyways, unlike you, Anakin, not all of us decide to go against our entire upbringing and marry a senator.” you pointed out, effectively shutting him up about the subject.

It was inconceivable just to think about revealing your feelings to Obi-Wan. There were too many factors against you and the idea of being rejected by him after years of secret pining would be devastating. The worst part is that you know he would reject you in a gentle and kind way, making it impossible for you to hate him for it.

Not only were attachments forbidden by the Jedi council, but Obi-Wan was known for his adherence to the law and there’s no way he would break it for anyone, especially you. You were only a newly knighted Jedi and probably completely off of his radar, if he even had one. There was only one solution for your feelings for Obi-Wan: try to avoid him until they begin to fade.

But since the Maker has a vendetta against you, you, Obi-Wan, R2-D2, Anakin, and his padawan, Ahsoka, were assigned to leave Coruscant for a mission on Naboo. Senator Amidala was having a ball to celebrate the Festival of Light and there were rumors regarding a potential attempt on Senator Organa’s life, so the Order offered to send some Jedi to ensure the safety of the guests and Padmé.

The trip is going to be about a week long, so you mentally prepare being in close quarters with Master Kenobi. When you arrive at the hangar, you are pleasantly surprised to see the ship that was being boarded by Anakin and Ahsoka was bigger than what you expected. You board the ship with a new-found confidence in being able to complete the mission without embarrassing yourself.

“How is the whole avoiding Obi-Wan thing going for you, (Y/N),” Anakin teases once he sees you enter the cockpit.

“Why are you trying to avoid Master Kenobi?” Ashoka asks, looking between you and Anakin confused.

“Anakin I swear to-”

“Our beloved (Y/N) here has a crush on him.” Anakin interrupts and before you can yell at him for sharing that embarrassing information you hear a set of boots walking up the ramp. Your heart stops and you say a prayer to whoever is listening that Obi-Wan did not hear your conversation.

“Is everyone about ready to leave?” Obi-Wan’s accented voice rings out, coming closer to the cockpit.

Feeling yourself heat up from embarrassment, you quickly turn around and face the pilot seat in front of you in an attempt to avoid seeing him. You release a relieved breath, not sensing he heard anything. He walks in and once you calm down and realize how rude you must look, you slowly turn back towards him. He greets you with a smile and you can’t help but return the gesture. That breathtaking smile alone makes you feel like a flustered padawan again but you realize that if you are going to get through this mission and over your feelings, you must overcome your want to shy away.

“Hello Master Kenobi. Yes I believe we are all ready,” You say; your words were stiffly said but at least they weren't a stuttering mess.

He nods in acknowledgment and sits down in the pilot seat across from where you are standing. Anakin closely follows and sits in the adjacent seat, but not before stifling a laugh at the glare you give him for almost revealing to Obi-Wan how you feel. You sit behind Anakin and Ahsoka sits beside you. Anakin starts the ship and begins to fly towards the Chommell sector, where Naboo resides. Once you have left the atmosphere, he initiates hyperspace travel.

Once in hyperspace, Obi-Wan excuses himself and leaves the cockpit to meditate. Right when the door to the cockpit shuts Ahsoka snaps her head towards you.

“You have a crush on Master Kenobi?!” she whisper shouts, but it is still loud enough to facilitate a small internal freak out from you.

You don’t respond and keep looking out the window, contemplating whether or not to jump into the void of blurring stars in order to avoid this confrontation. Ahsoka, on the other hand, takes your silence as a confirmation to her statement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ahsoka exclaims to you and Anakin, mostly in disbelief that you never mentioned this and that Anakin was able to keep a secret like that to himself.

“Well it’s not exactly something I’m proud of, Ahsoka,” you say, turning towards her.

“We’re Jedi.” you state solemnly, “It doesn’t matter who knows about our feelings; it doesn’t change the fact that we will never get to act on them or even truly experience them.”

“I know, but maybe you could-” Ahsoka starts but you are quick to shut down any false hope she could make for you.

“Ahsoka, there’s nothing you can do, I just have to get over it,” you say a bit harsher than intended. You and Ahsoka don’t have the most conventional of Padawan and Jedi Knight relationships, but then again neither did her Anakin. Since you were still a young Knight, you two were more like sisters, making you feel infinitely more guilty for taking your frustration out on her

“Look, Ahsoka, I’m sorry, it’s just that I don’t want to get my hopes up over something that will never happen”

“I just don’t like seeing you hurting, (Y/N)”

“You could always tell him.” Anakin chimes in,

You look at him, annoyed with his ever present need to pull the trigger, and then turn back to Ahsoka.

“I’ll be fine, I always am,” you assure her, but honestly you say it more to reassure yourself.

****

A couple of days past and you successfully have limited your time with Obi-Wan as much as physically possible. He was a very structured man and figuring out his daily routine was easy, so all you had to do was go to a part of the ship he wasn’t, or in worst cases, meditate so he couldn’t interact with you even if he wanted to.

But of course, Anakin, always being the meddler, picked up on your perfectly coordinated avoidance of his Master. He decided to “spontaneously” take Ahsoka to the back to do more training, leaving you and Obi-Wan to man the cockpit.

You approach the metal doors, mentally preparing having to spend the next couple of hours or so with the Jedi Master.

“Master Kenobi.” you greet as soon as you walk in.

“General (L/N), how nice of you to finally join me.” He says with a sarcastic edge but the smile on his face shows he means nothing by it. “In fact, I’ve hardly seen you this entire trip.” He states, matter-of-factly.

You nervously laugh while sitting down in the pilot seat next to him, in an attempt to release some stress over the fact that he noticed. The worst part is that there is a sick kind of rush of pleasure you get from the fact that he noticed you were missing.

You face forward, trying to ignore the way he is watching your movements.

“How much time until we reach Naboo?”

“According to the navigation system, about 23 hours, allowing us to arrive about…7 hours before the actual festivities.” He responds, looking at the display before returning his gaze to you.

“You seem unsettled,” He continues and you meet the concerned look in his eyes.

“I-I’m just…preparing myself for the mission,” you quickly come up with an excuse, slightly cursing the force for putting your emotions on display.

“There’s no reason to worry, at least from what the Council and Anakin have told me, but then again, Anakin is not known for his accuracy of judgement of how difficult a mission may be” Obi-Wan replies while grimacing, most likely remembering his padawan’s past misjudgments.

“There is something to be admired about Anakin’s lack of self-preservation,” You joke, starting to loosen up at the fact that Obi-Wan didn’t pick up on your lie.

You feel a sense of pride go through you when you see him laugh at your attempt of humor.

“Yes, Anakin has al-” He starts but is quickly interrupted by an angry series of beeps coming from the navigation system. You check the monitor and don't see why the ship is freaking out, until hundreds of small dots appear on the radar.

Obi-Wan is quick to react and begins to prepare the ship to enter the asteroid field. It doesn’t seem to be too congested but enough where you begin to worry.

“R2, take control of the steering!” He shouts and is given a series of beeps of affirmation by the astromech

You enter the field and suddenly wish you remembered to buckle up; R2’s steering is jerky and all over the place, but at least the ship is still intact. You grab on to the armrests of your seat as tight as you can and hope R2 will be successful.

Obi-Wan, as outwardly calm as ever, says, “Hope you don’t mind a bumpy ride!”

His sarcastic words force a laugh out of you. Even still, despite the fact you could be facing imminent death, he expresses dry humor.

The field seems to stretch on forever and R2 navigates through it without error. Finally seeing the end approaching, you begin to loosen your death grip on the chair. To your horror, R2 sharply jerks the ship to the left one last time, throwing both you and Obi-Wan out of the pilot seats. Landing with your back on the far wall, your eyes shut on instinct when your head slams into the metal. It’s not until you feel breath fanning your face and open your eyes that you realize that you weren’t only one who fell over here.

Obi-Wan’s hands are pressed against the metal beside your shoulders, caging you in. His arms are bent at the elbows from absorbing the impact of his landing, making his body even closer to your own. His nose is close enough to touch your own and you can feel his legs tangled between your own.

His eyes widen in shock and you begin to see the parts of his cheeks not covered by his trimmed beard turn a rosy pink. You would almost find it cute how his ears were becoming a bright red if it wasn't for your own embarrassment. It only makes matters worse when you watch Obi-Wan slowly glance down at your parted lips, still taking in the image of you pressed against him. If he could sense your unsettledness when you walked into the room, there is no doubt in your mind that your force signature is screaming your feelings. The seconds felt like hours and it seemed that both of you were completely frozen. You are so lost in the moment that you hardly react quickly enough to separate from him when the metal doors to the cockpit slide open.

Anakin’s annoyed shout entered the room.

“What the hell was that!” Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice the flustered state of both you and his former master.

“I-it w-was an um…” his voice trails off as he keeps looking at you.

“An asteroid field! It was an asteroid field,” you quickly say in an attempt to fill in his words.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Anakin says sarcastically, still oblivious, and heads to the back to make sure Ahsoka was alright.

It’s only then when you begin to feel the throbbing in your head. Your facial expression must have given away the pain you are currently in, since Obi-Wan quickly sits you down and looks at the place where your head hit the wall, making sure you had no serious injuries. Throughout the entire examination, he didn’t meet your eyes once and he didn’t have the same surety in his movements like he usually did. Once Obi-Wan finished, he quickly excused himself and left the room, leaving you more confused than you had been.

Not even a minute later, Anakin pops his head in, quickly rubs R2 affectionately on the head, and then turns his attention to you.

“What the hell did you do to Obi-wan, he looks like he’s seen a ghost.”

***

After the accident, Obi-Wan was now the one avoiding you. He would excuse himself whenever you entered the same part of the ship as him. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him so uncomfortable, even though it wasn’t your fault.

You were going to apologize to him, but by the time you arrived on Naboo, you realized the moment had already passed. Senator Amidala greets you right when you walk down the boarding ramp. You and Padme have always had a close relationship, especially since you are one of the only people who actually knows about her and Anakin.

“Master Kenobi, General (L/N), General Skywalker, it’s always a pleasure to see you,” Padmé said in her always regal and kind voice.

“Senator Amidala, in need of our assistance once again?” Anakin teases her, but still tries to keep the outward formal relationship displayed.

Padmé playfully rolled her eyes and escorts us into the

building that we are supposed to rest for the rest of the trip in.

She brings Anakin to his room first to his dismay, but quietly reassures him that she’ll be back after making sure you, Ahsoka, and Master Kenobi are settled in. Obi-Wan still hasn’t made eye contact with you or even truly acknowledged your presence. Once Padmé shows him to his room, she goes to the two doors across the hall, and lets Ahsoka into one and opens the other.

“and here is your room (Y/N).”

You walk inside and just like everything else on Naboo, the place is absolutely beautiful.

“I’m going to send up some dresses for you to choose from for the ball tonight and we could get ready together, if you want.” Padmé says, seeming excited at the idea of dressing up with you.

“Sorry Padmé, I was just going to wear my robes.” You tell her, while still preoccupied with exploring the room.”

“Didn’t Anakin tell you? To ensure that the supposed assassins don’t realize that they have been compromised, you all are supposed to dress in normal clothes.”

***

After hours of being poked and prodded by some of Padmé’s servants, you finally were ready for the ball. You looked beautiful when you looked in the mirror, but you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable because of this sudden change of appearance. You couldn’t remember the last time you dressed like this and your head still couldn’t wrap around the image it saw in the reflection. The dress you decided to wear was floor-length with a slit that stopped at your mid thigh and was a light blue. The top was a bit more modest but not by much. It was more risque than what you expected to wear, but Padme insisted that it look beautiful on you; also the slit allowed you to strap your lightsaber to your thigh, keeping it accessible, but still hidden. Your hair was in an intricate half-up half-down braid so it looked formal enough for the ball, but if you needed to engage with the potential assassin, it wouldn’t get in the way. As much as you protested, Padmé insisted on you borrowing her jewelry and makeup.

By the time you all finished, It was time to head to the ball. You, Ahsoka, and Padmé all arrive together, and quickly scan the outside for anything suspicious. You head inside and immediately people begin to swarm Padmé and thank her for hosting. You and Ahsoka excuse yourselves and begin to scan the crowd for Anakin and Obi-Wan.

You spot the back of a strawberry-blonde head next to Anakin’s always messy hair talking to a senator you didn’t recognize and begin heading towards them. Ahsoka gets there first, quickly getting Anakin’s attention and talking to him. When Anakin sees you he looks impressed.

“Wow, you clean up nice.” Anakin jokes, making Obi-Wan turn to see who he is talking to. When he sees you his smile falters and his eyes widen a bit. His cheeks start to redden.

“It’s just weird for you as it is for me, trust me” you say trying to overcome the sudden rush of self consciousness you feel.

“N-no you look…radiant, General (L/N).” Obi-Wan breathes out, his eyes scanning your body, slightly widening when they catch your upper thigh peeking through the slit.

You instantly flush at his words and look down in embarrassment from such a compliment from Obi-Wan.

You catch a glimpse of his shined shoes and realize that he, too, is not wearing his Jedi robes. Your eyes trail up his whole body and see he is in robes, but they appear much softer than the rough ones issued by the order and they resemble what a senator would wear. He looks absolutely breathtaking. “And you look…” your voice trails off in shock, “...very handsome, Master Kenobi”

Pamdé finally joins you, unintentionally saving you from the awkward tension. Anakin greets her and as always he instantly appears calmer and more relaxed in her presence.

You awkwardly sit in on their conversation, trying to distract yourself by scanning the room for anything or person out of place. Suddenly, the music began to shift to slower and people began to pair off. Anakin started slow dancing with Padmé, making sure that there was enough room between them to avoid any suspicion.

Obi-Wan walks into your field of vision.

“Would you like to dance with me...to blend in of course.” He says while raising his hand in an invitation.

“I-I would love to.”

Obi-Wan’s rough hand encloses your own and he leads you to the dance floor. Once, there his other hand comes around and rests above the small of your back and yours over his shoulder, hovering over the skin, scared to touch him. You start to slow dance and Obi-Wan glances over at your stiff hand, and his mouth breaks out into a grin

“Relax General (L/N). You are allowed to touch me.” He says quietly.

Your eyes widen at his sudden boldness, but comply nonetheless. He readjusts his grip on your hand so that they woven together and you place your hand on his shoulder. You look at him with uncertainty, but he gives you a small smile of encouragement and nod to approve of your actions. The longer you dance, the more you relax into it, and only internally freakout at his hand sliding a bit lower to the small of your back and his body moving much closer to yours.

You can’t imagine he isn’t seeing the emotions you are trying so hard to contain in your force signature. Your mind is freaking out at just how close Obi-Wan’s body was to you. Your body, however, wants to completely submit to the feelings and melt into his. By the time the song ends, you two are so close that you can feel Obi-Wan’s shaky breath on your cheek, and it all becomes much too overwhelming.

“Excuse me.” you quickly say, removing yourself from Obi-Wan.

You quickly shove your way through the crowds until you find doors leading out to a balcony. You open them and take several gulps of the fresh night air in an attempt to calm yourself. You hold onto the railing and stare out into the starry Naboo sky, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened. Suddenly, you feel the doors open behind you and sense Obi-Wan’s presence.

“Did I upset you, General (L/N)?”

“I can’t do this right now, Obi-Wan” you mutter, dropping the pleasantries of titles.

“And what exactly is this” He questioned, his voice sounding more desperate than you have ever heard before.

You turn to face him and see that his facial expression matches his tone: desperate and concerned. His eyes search your face as if he can find what you're thinking if he just looks hard enough.

You shake your head in disbelief.

“Do you think this is a game, Obi-Wan” you demanded.

His facial expression warped into one of confusion.

“A what?” He replies, seeming taken aback.

“A game. Do you think toying with me is fun? You just want to see how flustered you can make me, huh?”

“General (L/N), I don’t understand where all of this coming fro-”

“I am attached to you!” you interrupt, not realizing what you are saying before it leaves your mouth. Your eyes widen and you watch in horror as Obi-Wan comprehends what you just said.

“You are attach-” Obi-Wan starts, trying to understand the meaning behind your words but before he can, a loud crash is heard from inside the building. You rush past the frozen Jedi, relieved for the unexpected interruption. You attempt to shove down all of your feelings so you can evaluate the situation going on inside the ballroom.

People are fleeing from every which way, making it damn near impossible to understand what exactly is going on. The lights go out, making the room break out into even more chaos. You finally see Ahsoka, who is hovering over Senator Organa’s body. Thinking the worst, you rush over, but are quickly relieved to see him alive. Ahsoka notices you and fills you in.

“A sniper hidden in one of the interior balconies attempted to assassinate Senator Organa, but they only hit his blast vest, thankfully. Anakin is scanning the area right now to see if he can find them before they escape”

“Stay here with the senator, I’m gonna look around and see if I can find anything,” You say, running off to scan the outside of the building. Once you get out there, you see Anakin in pursuit of a tall figure running in the direction of a small single-person starship. You join in the chase, catching up to Anakin. “It’s a bounty hunter, she may have information on who wants Senator Organa dead!” He yells, not at all winded by the sprinting he is currently doing.

She gets to her ship, quickly hopping in and starting up the engine. You and Anakin jump onto the wings and ignite your lightsabers to try and disable the ship from leaving. The ship begins to hover just above the ground and veer left and right in an attempt to throw the two of you off.

“Where the hell is Obi-Wan!” Anakin swore while trying to maintain his balance.

“Finally ready to admit that you need me, Anakin? I thought I’d never live to see the day,” Obi-Wan suddenly quips, as if the last twenty minutes never happened, and uses his lightsaber to effectively damage the ship's engines. The bounty hunter tries to jump out, but Anakin quickly grabs her and throws her to the ground. The entire time that the girl is being put into custody and brought to the holding cell, you avoid Obi-Wan completely, mortified that you confessed how you feel for him.

When the whole ordeal is taken care of and she is set to return to Coruscant with you guys to be questioned there, Padmé insists that you, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka stay another night to rest. You quickly take her up on that offer, thankful that you can try to ease your embarrassment with another night with a hot shower and plush bed.

You head straight to your room, not bothering to talk to anyone, and immediately take a shower. You sit there under the scalding hot water trying to process what you have done. When you get out, you change into your pajamas. You try to relax, but quickly realize that you need to do something to resolve the unsettled feeling you have in the pit of your stomach. As much as you hate to admit it, you need to talk to Obi-Wan. You just have to say that you didn’t mean what you said and that it was just word-vomit, no true meaning behind them. You open your door and are about to step out until you realize that the man you want to see is right there, with his hand raised, about to knock on the door. His eyes widen in shock at the sudden opening of the door but before he can react you quickly try to explain yourself.

“Master Kenobi! I-I was just about to come see you. You see, I truly didn’t mean what I said earlier. It-t m-must have been the stress getting to m-” You ramble but quickly are cut off by the feeling of Obi-Wan’s hands cradling the sides of your face.

You look up in surprise but see his eyes holding a questioning look, asking if this is alright. You quickly nod and his lips are on yours. Obi-Wan’s kiss is just how you imagined it would be like: Soft and sweet and with his beard tickling your cheeks. His hands stay on your face as he pulls away all too soon and rests his forehead against your own and catches his breath.

“I have grown quite attached to you, as well, (F/N).”

#obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan fluff #obi wan oneshot #obiwan #star wars #star wars fanfiction #obi wan x jedi! reader #starwars x reader #star wars prequals #clone wars #clonewars #firstfic #obi wan x reader #obiwan x reader

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mikauzoran · 2 years

Note

3, 14, 25?

Thank you so much for the Ask! ^o^ I appreciate it. <3

3. Favourite line/scene you wrote this year

So, I've published forty-four works so far this year. ^.^; I can't remember specific lines (because I'm really bad about that kind of thing), but there are a lot of scenes I'm particularly happy with.

- In the Snow (PRPR Adrienette) - Adrien and Marinette fighting over who gets the bed is the best. They're both so determined that the other one should get to sleep in the bed, and things get a little ridiculous. XD

- Where the Heart Is (Lukadrien) - My favourite part of this story is Luka showing Adrien around his flat and just being so darn proud of how organized his spice rack is. XD

- Sugar, Sugar, and Butter (Lukagami and Lukadrigaminette) - It was so much fun to get to focus on Luka and Kagami in this story, and I had a blast writing them struggling to bake together. I think I love that part so much because I based it on my own experiences making the recipe for research before I wrote the story. It was a ton of fun to translate my own experiences into the story.

- Among the Wild Things (Lukadrien) - I adore the descriptions of the scenery in Chapter Five. It looks so pretty in my head! I hope I was able to translate that into words so that readers could see it too. ^.^; Also, Adrien and Luka slow dancing in the clearing after their wedding...I love that scene. And Adrien making friends with Kim, Alix, Max, and Ondine and the other fae. I adored Chapter Five so much. XD The whole chapter is my favourite.

- Clarity in the Harmony (Lukanette) - I am insanely proud of the first three lines of this story, and I am devastated that no one is reading it because people hate Lukanette. I'm seriously going to recycle those three lines because I love them and think they're gorgeous.

14. A fic you didn’t expect to write

Like...all of them? XD I do have my master writing to do list that I've slowly been chipping away at, but the majority of the things I write happen spontaneously.

Like I wasn't going to do Lukadrien June this year, and I wasn't really feeling the prompts, but then I ended up writing Your Hands Hold Home, and I am so, so glad that I did because I adore this work and feel that it was really important for me to write.

I didn't plan on doing any Discord server events, but I ended up doing Snippet July 2021 as part of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server. I wrote Le Carnaval: A Short Story Collection, and I wrote so many new pairings. I had a ton of fun with it.

I also did Miraculous Fanworks's Sprint September 2021 and wrote four one-shots (one for each corner of the Love Square) that became my Love Squared series.

And then there are the stories that just jump me in dark alleys out of nowhere, completely unprompted. I did not intend to write a Lukadrien ballet AU, but then Tights and Tea Lattes happened, and I'm so glad it did! XD

Who's Thirsty? (Adrienette/Marichat) is another one. I randomly had the idea in the shower for Adrien to overhear Marinette asking Alya if she sounded too thirsty in her love confession letter to Adrien and then Marinette has to explain it to Chat Noir because Adrien doesn't understand what "thirsty" means. I had no intention of actually writing that...but then I did. XD

Most of my stories are surprises to me. ^.^;

25. A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Sadly, I don't have much time for reading fanfiction. :/ I'm too busy writing the stuff. XD (And...you know...working at a law firm. ^.^;) I did read a couple good stories this year, though. I'm not sure if they're for everyone, but my recs are:

- The Cataclysm (Adrienette) wherein Marinette pretends to be a boy to join Adrien's boyband.

- Temporary Place to Stay (background Adrienette) wherein Caline Bustier and her fiancé take in Adrien after Papillon's defeat.

Thanks again for the Ask! ^.^ <3

Ask Game.

#Lukadrien #Adrinette #Adrienette #Marichat #Love Square #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #MLB #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Chat Noir #Luka Couffaine #Ask Game #Ask Mikau #Ask

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the-cheese-writes · 3 years

Text

I'll listen ~ Intrulogical

TW: Shouting, angst, crying

Word count: 1279

{Masterpost}

----------

“Why can’t they listen? They never LISTEN!” Logan shouted, his voice drenched in rage and frustration, as he threw a pebble across the lake. He hated being this way.

‘You’re so pathetic, Logan,’ he thought to himself, collapsing on his knees whilst a stream of tears cascaded down his cheeks.

‘You’re the embodiment of literal logic. Why can’t you control your emotions better? Why do you even have emotions anyway?!’ he scolded himself, taking off his glasses, tossing them to the side then holding his face in his hands. The tears felt like they would never stop and as he knelt there, exhausted and exasperated, for once in his life, he didn’t care about what was happening around him. All his surroundings faded away as all his overflowing anger spilled from his body, leaving Logan in his own black void of shame.

“Why can’t they just listen?”

Not too far away, Remus was busy in the fields, burning trees and setting anything he could see on fire. He grinned excitedly at the flaming forest before him, proud at the amount of destruction he caused. The way he saw it, he was giving his brother a favour because now he had something to do and he needed some fresh air. It was the only way Remus could get him outside anyway…

Satisfied with the chaos he created, Remus started to calm down and take a simple stroll through The Imagination. Though he typically craved discord, he wasn’t completely psychotic and still enjoyed peaceful moments to himself, like everyone else. (In truth, the only psychotic thing about him was the way he ate cereal.)

The Duke couldn’t be bothered to think about where to go, so he let his feet carry him, taking him where they wanted to; they were always able to take him somewhere interesting. Today, however, wasn’t to be like any other.

As he approached a lake, he spotted a certain logical side standing by it. Curious, Remus stepped closer, but stayed out of the clearing and hid behind the trees. As he neared him, Remus could see that he was shaking. Tilting his head, he silently questioned why, but he soon got his answer when Logan suddenly chucked a stone across the water.

Remus’ eyes followed it as it pierced through the air, moving more forward than higher, before it ultimately hit the water’s surface on the other side of the lake. Impressed by his strength, Remus’ started to blush. Ever since his first encounter with Logan, he had always had a small crush on him, which gradually swelled over the years, so seeing him do that didn’t help at all.

When he turned his head back to Logan, he realised that he had fallen to his knees, sobbing. Remus contemplated going up to comfort him; he didn’t want to make him feel worse and all he ever seemed to do was ruin everything. But, by instinct, he suddenly started to move towards him.

Logan continued to cry, sensing his presence but too exhausted to put up a front anymore. “Why can’t they just listen?” he whispered, not intending for anyone to hear. Unluckily for him though, someone did.

“I’ll listen.” Logan heard a quiet voice to his left say. He snapped his head up, looking towards the source. Seeing Remus there, he immediately stood up, brushing himself off then readjusting his tie.

“Apologies, Remus I-” he cut himself off when he opened his eyes, realising his vision was blurry. He turned a couple times, looking for his glasses as best as he could whilst he squinted. Noticing them discarded to the side, Remus retrieved them for him, picking up then returning back to his previous spot in front of him.

“Looking for these?” he said, showing them to Logan.

“Oh, yes. Tha-” Logan reached out to take them back, but Remus lifted them higher and gently placed them back on his face.

Logan smiled at him softly. “Thank you.”

Remus looked down shyly for a moment, but when he looked back up, a devastated, broken expression was painted on the logical side’s face.

“Logan? What was all that about?” the Duke asked, his eyes filled with concern and sympathy. Logan’s eyes flickered up to him for a moment, before he sighed he sighed heavily and turned away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know where it all came from. I should really learn to control myself better,” the logical side said firmly, as if he was castigating himself. Furrowing his eyebrows, Remus walked round and stood right back in front of him.

“Oh no, I think you’re controlling yourself enough,” he said, putting his hands on his hips, but his slightly angry facade faded when he saw how numb Logan seemed to be.

“You said ‘they don’t listen’,” Remus changed the subject. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Anyone who doesn’t listen. Which is basically everyone,” Logan responded half-heartedly. “They just don’t understand! No one does!” he raised his voice, throwing his hands in the air.

“What do you mean?”

“No one knows what it feels like to be ignored so much. Sure, they aren’t listened to either from time to time but majority of the time, I’m just pushed aside. No matter what I do, I can never be heard! It’s like I’m… I’m-”

“Trapped in your own maze of your own thoughts with no hope of an escape,” Remus finished, turning to Logan with a sad smile. The logical side looked at him surprisingly, not expecting him to pinpoint precisely how it felt.

“Y-yes. That’s exactly what it’s like,” Logan said in an astonished, but calmer voice. “How did you know?”

“You think you’re the only one who never gets their voice heard?” Remus replied in a lighter tone, sitting down cross-legged and facing the lake. Logan followed him and sat next to him.

“I suppose I never considered-”

“No, no one ever does. But I don’t blame them. With a riotous, uncontrollable persona like mine, who would want to listen, am I right?” the Duke chuckled softly. “Most of the time, I don’t even know why I’m here.”

The air around them suddenly grew a little colder and as he hung his head, Logan stared at the grass gloomily. “I ask myself the exact same question day after day,” he muttered, not intending for Remus to hear. Nonetheless, he did anyway.

“What do you mean? You’re Thomas’ logic, if you ask me you’re needed the most.”

“Thank you, Remus. You seem to be the only one who thinks so.”

“Better one than none.” Logan smiled at Remus, genuinely thankful and glad that he was there with him. The Duke looked down shyly, and grinned to himself.

Sighing relievedly, Logan turned towards the lake, content and finally at peace, even if it was to be for a short while. Hearing him sigh and seeing him at ease again, Remus assumed that he wanted to be left alone now, so he got up to leave. But a firm grip to his wrist stopped him.

“Where are you going?” Logan asked, his head tilted slightly.

“I thought you wanted some time to yourself?” Remus replied, his voice hinted with sadness. Noticing it, Logan pulled him a little closer, comfort wrapped around his grip.

“Well, some company wouldn’t hurt. Besides, I don’t mind your’s.”

Remus grinned and returned to his place by Logan’s side. He then decided to take a wary step forward and hesitantly leaned his head on the logical side’s shoulder. When he didn’t reject, Remus fully relaxed and allowed himself to share this blissful moment with Logan.

For the first time in a long time in his life, he loved being him.

#sanders sides #fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #brewrites #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort

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weirdthinkingdragon · 3 years

Text

Pushed Temptations

Yandere Western Shouta x reader

Warnings of blood, guns, character death, uh… intended weapon harm to reader? Should that be a warning? Quirkless AU

IDEK if you can really call this a yandere. More like highly protective, which is kinda yandere I guess? All I know is I was in a really soft mood when writing the ending. Oops…

It was rather quiet today at the bar. The only thing being the pianist playing their good old favorite tunes. No one seems to mind, and he offers to do the piano at a rather small price. Because of that, my boss decided to let him have a few drinks a day free. He was thankful but oddly declined. He’s definitely an older man, maybe in his 50s. I can’t for the life of me remember his name, but I do remember it starts with a T. He’s definitely an incredibly kind man though.

I clean the glass of the customer that just left incredibly drunk. I don’t care much about doing this job, but I have to because the boss told me I could live here if I do. He knew my family and wanted to help me out after they were killed by bandits on their way home. He’s also worried about me being alone in case that happens to me as well. I don’t really care. We all die at some point anyway. I am rather angry with the bandits though. He wouldn’t let me decline. Seriously, he made two of his strongest bouncers come get me to bring me to him. I’m starting to think he only wanted me for his benefit.

There was a rowdy few in the corner playing poker at the corner. I try to ignore them and stare at the doors to the entrance. One of the men at the table suddenly stands up, and storms out. He yells in fear after exiting. No one bats an eye since yelling is pretty normal around here. From fear? Not really, but it’s not my problem as long as it’s not in here.

It doesn’t take long to know why the man yelled in fear. A very feared outlaw enters through the doors. Shouta, the man feared by all. The only man that wears black everything, including his stetson. Well, the only thing not black was his bandana. That was a medium gray. He’s taken down multiple people at once, and so many Sheriffs and Bounty Hunters have been after him, which lead to their deaths. Only one person has ever been close to doing serious damage to him. From what I heard, they tried to become friends with him over a few days, got close enough, and tried to stab his eye with a knife. The swing hit, but not the way they hoped. The man was found dead a few days later with a bullet hole in his pants. He was shot in his thigh and left for dead overnight. The wolves got to him before he was found.

A chill goes through the place as everyone goes silent and stares at him. They know to not bring their guns out. They stare in fear at him as he saunters up to the booth right in front of me. “Howdy stranger, what can I get ya?”

“Whiskey.” Geez, even his voice is something to send chills down someone’s spine. I grab one of the glasses, fill it, and pass it to him. He goes to pass the money for it to me. I push it back towards him, leading him to have surprise on his face.

“It’s on me. It’s a thank you for getting rid of that group of damn bandits that called themselves the “Iron Will”. It’s nothing to you, but they were a royal thorn in my side. I wanted revenge on myself for something they did.”

His face went back to being stoic, but he did grab the glass. I look at the entrance to see if anyone else entered. No. In fact, the ones at the table playing Poker booked it out of here, so it’s now just him, the pianist, and I.

It stayed quiet between us for a bit. “You know, I don’t think you’re as bad as people say,” He raises the brow with the obvious scar under his eye, but says nothing. “From what I’ve heard, most, if not all, of the people you have killed have deserved it. Yes, even the Sheriffs. They’re usually corrupt themselves anyway.”

“...You talk a lot.” He’s too hard to read to know what he’s truly thinking.

I shrug. “It ain’t much. It just gets pretty boring around here, especially since I’d honestly rather be doing anything else. Kinda forced to be here,” I glare off to the side. “Thank the damn bandits for that one,” I lock eyes with him again. “Uh… nevermind. Enjoy the rest of your whiskey.” I say and go over to the table the rowdy people were t and grabbed their glasses. It might be best to not bother him much more. Maybe I’d be next.

The blond stops playing the piano for now, and he locks eyes with Shouta. Shouta… Gives him a small nod? They must know each other. That would just be further proof he doesn’t kill for no reason.

He asked for another, which I gave him. The blond didn’t continue playing yet. He must be giving his fingers a break. Honestly? About time. That man’s been playing for the past three hours without a break.

At least, it was peaceful until someone slammed the doors open in an obvious frantic state. It was my boss. He has a revolver… It was easy to tell what he wanted to do with it from the way he glares at Shouta. I don’t let worry show, even though I’m worried about him being shot by Shouta, which could easily happen. That and the blood would be hard to clean up. It always is on wooden floors, as well as I don’t have anywhere to go after since my home was already taken from being forced to be here. “Ren, please put the gun away. We ain’t got time for blood to be spilled here.”

That got Shouta to turn around and notice the man. His hand hovers over the pistol in his belt.

“You don’t tell me what to do! This man doesn’t belong here! I want him out! If the bouncers won’t, I’ll do it myself!”

I sigh. “Ren, please. The bouncers left an hour ago. You know you don’t stand a chance, and I really don’t want to clean blood off the floor tonight,” He’s still frantically waving the gun around like a child proud of a new toy. “He also hasn’t done anything.”

“Hasn’t done anything!? He killed Mizuki!” Mizuki? Where have I- oh. That wretched man.

“Isn’t he that man that kept forcing himself on women?”

“That doesn’t matter! He was still a great person!” … Is this man serious!?

If I’m reading Shouta right, he wasn’t too happy about hearing that either. “Why the fuck am I stuck working for you?” I whisper to myself. It’s not loud enough for Ren to hear thankfully. He would have blown his mind if he heard me. In speaking of a blown mind, he’s about to get his mind blown to bits for real. “I’m sorry for his actions. I'm also sorry, but would you mind leaving without spilling blood? I know it's stupid to ask, but I'm sure you know just how hard blood is to get off of things." I lean a bit over the counter.

"Stop being a pathetic bootlicker! He ain't deserving of it! Get. Out!"

"You're always welcome here otherwise." I whisper. Ren didn’t hear it, but I’m pretty sure Shouta did as he turned to lock eyes with me for a second before slamming the glass down and turns to glare hard at Ren. I don't even need to see his face to know. The fearful shaking of my boss shows. He stands up, and heads towards the door. He shakily points the gun at Shouta, but he doesn't even bother grabbing his pistol, just keeps his eyes on Ren. Ren is angering me right now, disturbing the peace between the three of us here. Also for being a darn hypocrite of sorts for not being able to be brave for pointing a gun at Shouta, even though he’d make others do it if they were around.

Ren steps away from the door as Shouta exits. It doesn't take long for the loud pounding of horse hooves to drift away until they’re no longer heard.

Ren puts his gun away, but glares at me. "Why did you not tell him to leave when he entered!? Men like that ain't welcome around here.”

I look at him like he's stupid, probably because he is. "What in tarnation did you want me to do about it? Money is money, ain't it? Even then, a simple person such as I had no chance against a man such as that. Do you even see a gun around me!?”

He swears under his breath. “Close up early.” He leaves. ??? What? Just comes in here to disturb us for that? It’s confirmed, he’s not stable.

Despite everything I could do, I decided to just listen and close it early. I grabbed the glass Shouta used, and started to clean it.

“You’re right you know,” I stop cleaning the glass and look at the blond. “About Shouta. He’s a kind man, just given odd cards for his life. All it takes is one bad doing to make someone thrown in the dark. He’s saved me more than once before. Unfortunately, one time he did accidentally kill a good man. Hizashi was his name. At least, that’s what everyone believes. Someone else shot him, but pinned the blame on Shouta. Everyone believed the other man before they believed him. There’s no way he’d purposefully kill his friend though. Sure, Hizashi was a troublemaker at times, but he had a heart of gold. Friendly to all.”

My brows crease. “Why have I never heard about this?” This seems like something that really should be known.”

He grows a saddened expression. “Many have simply chosen to forget or listen to him. Shouta gave up trying to convince people and just accepted his new way he has to live.”

I’m angry at people for doing this to him, and also sad for him. Just thinking about how bad and painful it would to be not be listened to when telling the truth and no one believes me would be devastating.

He leaves, and I leave a bit after finishing cleaning up.

----------------------------

For the past few months, Shouta has visited a few times. Luckily, Ren never came around, so he must be rather stealthy coming here now. I’m sure he comes for the free drinks. Who wouldn’t use that offer? I also started staying open a bit later than normal just for him. Still pretty sure he doesn’t like me too much from constantly trying to talk to him more with no success. Only a few nods or shakes of his head as replies.

Tonight was no different. I kept it open late on the twelfth day of the month. He’s had a pattern of coming on this specific day. Toshinori, the man I finally remember the name of, left not too long ago. I’m all alone now. The eerie silence is rather unnerving when being so used to hearing the piano playing so often.

Sadly, he doesn’t enter the saloon after a while of waiting. Maybe he’s busy tonight? Or maybe he got injured? There’s no way he could have been caught, right? I really hope not. I close the saloon and start to head home. It’s really late at night with the moon at its highest point in the sky. It’s a full one tonight, showing everything around me rather brightly. I pass a house on my way to mine, only to be suddenly slammed into the wall of it.

There was a familiar face to the body. Ren!? He holds a gun right up to my neck. His breath is shaky and obviously full of anger. “You… Stupid… Did you really think you could keep going against my back without me finding out!?” He pushes the gun harder on my neck. “I really hoped to be wrong that you were helping that.. Filth of a man. Oh no. No, no, no, no! You’ve not only kept serving him, you’ve been doing it free. You deserve to be fucking executed for that!”

He wasn’t alone. There were three other silhouettes that revealed themselves as men in the shadow of the building next to this one. They were close friends of his, and I’m pretty sure I remember the one farthest from me being rather close to Mizuki. The situation started to show, and fear quickly started rising. I’m going to die. “No, you deserve to be killed now for stealing from me! I give you a place to stay, and you steal! I should have left you to the bandits.” He seethes.

“Heh, I reckon we use ‘em as bait. We could pin the blame on them instead, and maybe their new “friend” will be angry enough to kill them. He’s had no problem killin’ people close to him before” Ren grows a sadistic smile. “You know? That’s the best idea!” He leans dangerously close to my face. My body recoils at the stench of his breath. It’s foul enough for my stomach to want to release everything in it.

The sound of two guns being cocked brought my attention to behind the man farthest from me. It’s Shouta. “There’s one problem with that plan.” He says. His tone seems a bit sharper than what I’ve heard though.

All the men sharply turn around with their guns held, pointing at Shouta.

“Oh, hey, Shouta. Sorry for-” Ren pushes the gun hard enough on my neck that it cuts me off from talking. “Shut it.”

I’ve never seen Shouta’s face so angry before. “Let them go, and maybe you’ll be spared.” He nearly hisses, but is trying to stay level-headed.

Ren suddenly starts laughing. “Aw, does the murderous outlaw have a big ol’ soft spot for this pathetic thing? How touching!” His finger on the trigger twitches. “Just makes me want to kill them more!”

Gunfire rang out. Something warm hits my face. I cringe at the quick realization it’s Ren’s blood. Ren’s body collapses to the ground. The others try to shoot at Shouta, but he dodges them all and shoots all of them through their heads. People’s lights started to turn on and others were coming out of their houses to see the commotion.

Shouta holsters his guns and whistles for his horse. A black Arabian runs up right next to him. “Thanks for saving me. You might want to leave though before you get more involved.” I try to walk away, but he grabs onto my arm, pulling me towards his horse. “What are you doing!?” I ask as he pushes me towards his horse.

“Something I should have done months ago. Get on.” What is he making me do? People will get the wrong idea if they see me with him.

“But-”

He nudges me by the horse again. “Get on.” I comply with a bit of difficulty from not used to being on a horse. He then gets on the saddle in one quick movement. The horse takes off as bullets from others whiz by us. I hug his rather well-toned torso to hold on. Luckily, none of them hit as we got far enough away.

It doesn’t take long for us to get to a house that looks abandoned. It was a rather small house with only a window on the front right next to the door. It’s hidden incredibly well by a few large hills.

He gets off the horse, ties the reins up, and nudges me towards the small house. "Why did you make me come with you? Now people will get the wrong idea."

He opens the door and allows me in first. Moonlight sone through the window enough to make the inside visible. On the left is a decent sized bed that seems a bit worse for wear, but still sturdy with rather clean looking sheets. The only other things in here was a wardrobe against the wall farthest from the door, and a chest under the window on the right side. “They would have gotten the wrong idea anyways. It wouldn’t have been the first time.” He ends up saying with his voice a bit strained. No doubt he’s remembering his friend.

He closes the door, and surprisingly, hugs me from behind. “Not again. I’ll make sure of it.”

I quirk a brow. The attention isn’t unwelcomed, but quite a surprise.. “You DO know I could have been shot as we left, right?” I ask. Wrong thing to say. His arms tightened substantially as he buried his head in my neck.

“They’d all be dead.”

“Wait, but they wouldn’t have done anything.” A bit of fear laced through me. Not for me, but for the others.

“Someone injuring or threatening you deserves death.”

“You’re supposed to be a good outlaw, what happened?” I ask, already kind of knowing the answer, and angry with myself for being so nice in the first place.

“Today happened. Those… things that nearly harmed you were right with their thoughts. No matter what I do, everyone is going to think I’m bad. It’s time for me to be a bit selfish for once. That selfish want is wanting you close to me.”

My heart is torn between melting at how cute that kind of is to still being fearful for others.

“That’s sweet and all, but you and I both know this isn’t gonna work for many reasons. One being we both can’t keep riding the same horse. It ain’t fair to the poor thing.” I felt him smile on my neck.

“We’ll get you one at some point. Judging from your struggling earlier, we have a ways to go first.”

I smile. This could be fun. What’s not fun is the mostly dry blood cracking on my face. “Sounds like fun, but uh… Got anything to clean this blood off?”

He tenses. “Blood?” The way he said it made me wish I didn’t say anything about it. He stops hugging me and turns me around, closely examining my face.

“Don’t worry, it’s not mine. It does feel gross though.”

Within a blink of an eye, he pulls out a rag and goes over to the chest to see a rather large jug of water. He dips it in the jug and comes back to wipe it off my face with a deep frown on his face.

In an odd form of suddenly feeling silly, I poke his nose with my right pointer finger. He blinked in surprise at me. He grows a soft smile that almost doesn’t seem suiting of him. It makes me chuckle.

“You know, It’s surprising to me you actually care. Or uh… Love me? Or whatever it really is. For the longest time I could swear you hated me.”

“I did at first,” Okay, points for honesty. “I expected you to be like an earlier nuisance I had to take care of. That changed especially after my third visit. I noticed you weren’t acting like it just to me. You were genuine with everyone. Toshinori helped by informing me more of your... issue that you told e a bit about,” He leans in close, fully cutting the conversation. “I think this is long overdue.” His lips touch mine. It was a really quick kiss that I barely had time to register.

I smirk. “So you DO love me, or am I looking too much into it?”

He’s not amused. “You already know the answer to that.”

Now I know I have a deadly outlaw that loves me. I guess in a way I should thank Ren.

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#yandere western shouta #yandere mha x reader #shouta x reader #western au #outlaw shouta #yandere shouta aizawa

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writingwhimsey · 3 years

Text

Romance with Mr. Right...hand Man Ch. 1

A/N: This is just a fanfic I am starting following Hideyoshi's romantic route ending. I hope it's something everyone can enjoy! This will be a multi-chapter fic and I'll be bouncing between it and my Shingen fic. I will hopefully be moving my Nobunaga and Mitsuhide fics over here from fanfiction as well soon.

Chapter 1

I found myself sitting in front of Nobunaga on his horse. His arms were on either side of me, holding the reins. We were in an open field outside of Azuchi. It had been a little over a year since I had traveled through time and been living in the Sengoku with the Oda forces.

Mitsuhide and Masamune were on either side of us. We had a small portion of the Oda army behind us. On the opposite side of the field at the head of his own army was the love of my life, Hideyoshi. He was flanked by Ieyasu and Mitsunari, with their own portion of the Oda forces behind them.

I can't believe I agreed to go along with this. Granted it's not like I was truly given a choice in the matter. I thought to myself.

"You seem rather tense, Ava." Nobunaga observed, though there was a smile on his face.

"Oh, you know, just wondering why this is all necessary?" I replied, my tone a bit disgruntled.

Nobunaga grinned at me. "It is the only way." He answered.

I let out a sigh as I turned to look at Hideyoshi across the field. We were close enough I could see the determined look on his face and noticed when he leaned over to discuss something with Mitsunari or Ieyasu, but we weren't close enough for me to hear what was being said.

"Ava, aren't you the least bit curious as to how determined Hideyoshi is about all of this?" Mitsuhide asked, his tone teasing. "What lengths he will go to?"

"I would think you would be excited that he was willing to do this in the first place." Masamune added.

"I mean...it is definitely impressive." I replied. "But I also know how much he's going to be hating this the entire time."

"Don't worry, this was my idea. I will hold nothing against him when this is over." Nobunaga replied.

"The rest of us won't ever let him live it down though." Masamune replied grinning. "That is assuming none of us run off with the prize."

I rolled my eyes and sighed once again. My thoughts then turned to the events that led us to where we all stood right now.

Three days ago...

I was going around the room of the great hall, carrying a bottle of sake and pouring for everyone. We were having a banquet to celebrate the anniversary of Nobunaga surviving the Hono-ji incident.

"Ava." Nobunaga had said just as I was about to go join Hideyoshi.

"Uh...yeah?" I asked. "Were you needing a refill?"

"I would not say no." Nobunaga replied. "But you should also allow me to pour for you. This banquet is as much about celebrating you as it is me."

"I don't..." I began to protest.

"Without you saving me that night, we would not all be here now. So, come drink with me a moment." He said.

"Uh...alright." I reluctantly agreed. I wanted to go be with Hideyoshi, but I knew that even he would tell me I had better get up there to follow Nobunaga's orders. Hideyoshi was basically the president of the Nobunaga fan club.

I made my way up to the dais and sat by Nobunaga and filled his cup. He handed me another one and then poured for me. "Thank you." I said.

"You have earned it and proven yourself." He told me. "This haori coat you made is excellent as well. I commend your work."

I couldn't help but to smile. I always felt proud when my work was complimented. "Thank you." He had commissioned the haori from me a couple of weeks ago and I had put a lot of work into it.

"You know, you should share a drink with the rest of us." Masamune spoke up. "We want to celebrate the brave lass who saved our lord as well."

"Why do you always say we like you're including me?" Ieyasu grumbled.

"Because you're just as happy to have Ava around as the rest of us, lad." Masamune replied.

So, I ended up not getting to go join Hideyoshi and drinking with everyone. I planned for just one drink with each of them and then I would join Hideyoshi. Hopefully I could catch Nobunaga in a good enough mood that I'd be able to go home with Hideyoshi to his manor tonight.

What I did not realize at the time, was that everyone was enjoying the game they had stared. They were playing keep away with me and Hideyoshi. What I was also unaware of, was that Mitsuhide had manipulated Hideyoshi into drinking quite a bit more than he normally would. Hideyoshi was not the most composed drunk. When drinking he would speak much more freely than normal.

"Alright, Ava, it is my turn to share a drink with you." Mitsuhide said, taking my hand and pulling me to sit beside him.

"Only one drink." I said, remembering the last time I had drank with Mitsuhide. It was seriously the worst hangover the next day.

Mitsuhide grinned at me. "Why, my dear little seamstress, are you worried about what will happen if you drink with me?"

"I am not wanting the hangover from hell again." I replied. "Your alcohol tolerance isn't human."

"What if I promise to take it easy on you?" Mitsuhide asked, leaning in close.

"That's it!"

I jumped at the sound of Hideyoshi's voice. He was then coming over to sit beside me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close. "Hideyoshi?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I will not have the lot of you taking all of Ava's time. I will not stand for this anymore." Hideyoshi boldly declared.

"Are you challenging us for our dear little sister?" Mitsuhide asked, his voice teasing.

"As the man who loves her, yes I am." Hideyoshi answered. "And not just tonight. I am going insane not having her by my side every night."

My breath caught in my throat as I looked up at the man I loved. "Hideyoshi...what...are you saying?" I asked.

Those warm golden eyes focused on me. "Ava, I can't stand the thought of another night not having you come home with me. I want you to live with me and to be my wife."

I felt the tears stinging my eyes and the smile tugging my lips. "Oh...Hideyoshi!"

"That is quite the bold declaration, Hideyoshi." Nobunaga's deep voice came from his seat.

We all turned to look at him. "It is the truth." Hideyoshi replied. "If Ava will have me, I want to take her home and make her my wife."

"Have you forgotten, Hideyoshi?" Nobunaga replied, an amused smile on his face.

"My...Lord?" Hideyoshi asked.

"Ava is my treasured little sister." Nobunaga answered. "You truly intend to take her from me?"

"I...Lord Nobunaga...it's already been too long. I can't take it another day." Hideyoshi replied, looking Nobunaga in the eye.

Holy cats! He's...he's actually challenging Nobunaga for me?! I felt a swirl of conflicting emotions in my chest at this moment.

"You believe you are the best man for her?" Nobunaga asked.

"I will do everything to see to her happiness." Hideyoshi answered.

"How far are you willing to go for Ava?" Nobunaga asked.

"Uh...what...what are you trying to say, my lord?" Hideyoshi asked, confused.

"You have challenged me for her. You've made quite a bold declaration, Hideyoshi." Nobunaga replied. "Would you fight for her?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I would." Hideyoshi answered.

Nobunaga's grin became devilish at this. "Then it is settled."

"What exactly is settled, Nobunaga?" I found myself asking. Is he agreeing to letting me finally move in with Hideyoshi...and then us planning our wedding? I thought with cautious excitement.

"Hideyoshi, you will prove your resolve to take my precious little sister from me." Nobunaga declared. "In three days time, I will have the perfect challenge for you."

"You name it and I will meet the challenge." Hideyoshi declared.

"You shall face me in battle." Nobunaga declared.

I am pretty sure my jaw hit the floor as Hideyoshi's eyes widened. "L-lord Nobunaga?"

"If you truly wish to make Ava your wife, you shall face me in battle." Nobunaga repeated. "We will work out the details over the next few days."

I looked at Hideyoshi. I half expected him to back down at the thought of fighting Nobunaga. There's no way...right? I should probably say something. Take it off of Hideyoshi. I thought, though I couldn't deny that a part of me was holding back, hoping he would respond and accept the challenge. "Nobunaga, come on, this is a bit ridiculous. Besides, you didn't wait to hear my answer. You spoke up before I really had the chance."

"Because I already know your answer." Nobunaga replied. "But that is not what is important here. Hideyoshi, will you fight for Ava?"

Hideyoshi's eyes met mine. He gave me a smile and then turned to Nobunaga, determination set on his face. "Alright, if that's what it takes, then yes, I will face you in battle, my lord."

A devilishly gleeful smile came to Nobunaga's face. "Good. I look forward to this."

Now...

And that was the story of how we ended up here. The details had been worked out that Hideyoshi would face Nobunaga in battle essentially for my hand in marriage. Nobunaga had declared that Ieyasu and Mitsunari would be Hideyoshi's subordinates in the battle, while Mitsuhide and Masamune were his to command.

The rules were relatively simple. It was similar to an actual fight, but the goal was not that anyone would be hurt. Or only minor injuries were allowed. Hideyoshi was to command his forces in an effort to take me from Nobunaga. He literally had to physically take me from Nobunaga and run off with me.

Of course this meant that he would have to fight Nobunaga and more than likely try to knock him off of his horse or something. I knew that is that happened, Hideyoshi would be devastated at having caused any injury no matter how minor to Nobunaga. I knew he would also be terrified of hurting me in the process.

"Don't worry little mouse, no one will get hurt." Mitsuhide told me from his place beside Nobunaga and me. "Especially you. You are our most precious little sister after all."

I found myself rolling my eyes once again.

"I am very much looking forward to this." Nobunaga said, smiling like a little kid.

"Why exactly is that?" I asked.

"To see exactly how Hideyoshi plans to pull this off." He answered. "It has been quite amusing to see him change since being with you."

I looked up at the man whose arms I was currently trapped in. I raised a brow at him. "I don't think I've really changed him that much." I replied.

"He values his life now." Nobunaga replied. "He is no longer willing to throw it away. That is something I am happy to finally see."

"What else are you hoping to see today?" I asked.

Nobunaga smiled. "I am just looking to have a bit of amusement today." He answered, but I could tell that that wasn't the truth. Though I am not sure what he was really searching for, I was certain that it was more than amusement. Something told me that Nobunaga really did care about Hideyoshi and this was somehow his way of proving a point or trying to get Hideyoshi to learn something new.

It was a few moments later that a the war cries sounded. Horses and soldiers from both sides took off. I found myself gripping the saddle to keep steady as Nobunaga kicked our horse into a run. I was preparing myself to be able to jump off and into Hideyoshi's arms at a moment's notice. I didn't want him to have to do all of the work when it came to this mock battle. I also wanted to try and make this as easy on him as possible. I knew what Nobunaga meant to him. So the fact that he was willing to participate in this mock battle was major and showed how much he truly loved me. Even if it was something he agreed to when he was drunk.

I hope this ends well. I thought as I kept my eyes open and waited for my opportunity. Though you know this is the stuff most girls dream of...I mean I literally have men fighting over me right now. I couldn't help the rueful smile that came to my lips at that thought. Though no matter who the victor in this mock battle is, my heart will always be Hideyoshi's.

Read the next chapter below!

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659310015236177920/romance-with-mr-righthand-man-ch-2

#ikesen #ikesen hideyoshi #romance #fanfic #chapter 1

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princekoo · 4 years

Text

dusk till dawn | kth.

pairing. taehyung x female! reader

genre/prompt. misunderstandings, marriage! au, angst

word count. 1.2k

content. none questionable, maybe hinted cheating? but it’s a misunderstanding so not entirely

synopsis. You trusted him with your heart, but after seeing him with another, could you again?

writer’s note. written for the BTS Ghostie Writers Net’s writing bingo! It’s not based off the song of the same name but I did listen to it while writing. This is my last square in the row I chose :) Everything flowed out surprisingly quickly for this one. Like it took one hour at most, but I’m proud of it.

The flickering of lights showed little solace to the broken heart which you nursed. As you clutched your body, shaking with the sobs which consumed it, the broken pieces of your heart before you seemed to mock your naïveté. You’d placed the entirety of your trust on his palm only for him to close it and crush it. It’s not as though you could deny yourself of his blatant infidelity. You’d watched it happen after all. The Louboutin stilettos you’d picked for today which were once on your feet laid at the door of your shared bedroom with the one which you though was your beloved. You’d dressed up to surprise him and yet, all you’d found once you neared his office was your heart cracking. The journey home was filled with questions of superficial concern uttered by those which served your husband, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but nod and send a watery fake smile. Every minute you’d spent replaying the scene you walked into caused your heart to shatter just a bit more, making it so by the time you walked numbly into the bedroom, your knees buckled and your face gave out. Your face of pretense was unable to be kept any longer than it already had been put up. No, everything was not okay.

You weren’t meant to walk into that, that much you were aware. After all, why would it be intended for you to find your husband with his shareholder’s mouth on his? No, you hadn’t stayed long enough to watch as he pushed her forcibly away from himself and break their contract. How could you stay that long? Your weakened heart didn’t allow it. You’d read too much about this, all of your friends had gone through this, everyone had told you of the possibility of this. An affair. Your vehement refusal of the fact that your husband, sweet and lovesick Kim Taehyung, would partake in such a vile thing. He was always similar to a lost puppy when it came to you after all. He’d worked so hard to get you, it was almost laughable how it’d never popped into your mind. The biggest question in your mind as you laid on the floor of the darkened bedroom who’s only light was that of a candle was ‘what do I do now?’. A fairly simple question which would garner several answers with which you, however, did not want to partake in. As much as it devastated you, you couldn’t bring yourself to loathe him. As much as every breath with his betrayal in your mind hurt, you didn’t want to end things with him. Even if it hurt, you wanted him by your side. You wanted—no, needed— to forget what you saw. Your body and mind craved for him reassurance, his warmth. If he denied and was not truthful, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

The soft thumping of sock clad feet resounded, nearing the door you had shut in haste to hide yourself to the world. The soft knocking went not unnoticed, but ignored by you. It wasn’t until you felt the familiar warmth of your lover pressed to your back and his soft lips meeting your cold skin in comfort that you reacted at all. Your sobs had subsided, but as his broad frame embraced your smaller one, you’d started to let out cries of despair. He whispered simple words of comfort, attempting to subdue your audible grief. It had worked. After what seemed like a couple minutes, you’d be reduced to sniffling.

“I know you saw. I saw you run in those... towers by the door.” You made no attempt to respond at his attempt of a joke. You didn’t know what would be acceptable in a situation like this for your well-being.

“I’m going to be truthful, as I always am with you, my love. Please don’t doubt me, I beg you. I love you too much to let you go like this. Please... please look at me, my love.” You’d zoned into how his chest tumbled as he spoke. His words were gentle and full of genuine sencerity. You’d trusted him all these years, it’s not like you can’t bring yourself to again. Still, you’d graced him with nothing but silence. He sighed, knowing he couldn’t do anything but wait. Slowly, his words registered into your brain and just as slowly you attempted to face him from your kneeling position on the floor. He looked just like when you’d both met at the coffee shop you worked at. He would come in every morning despite having several assistants which would break their back to do anything he asked of them. Yet, he’d always make time to pick up his order every morning. He’d never pick up coffee, which you found peculiar for someone who looked like a businessman. He’d always pick something sweet paired with some pastry you offered at the location. Every day for two years he’d never failed to show up every morning until he, finally, asked you out. One could only guess the chain of events that happened before this moment. It was nothing short of sickeningly sweet and fairy-tale raquel days. This, however, was the first and biggest hurdle your relationship decided to encounter. How cruel could life be? He looked nearly the same, just a few minimal wrinkles of age here and there which would show as he did different expressions. He was still the same, however, and that hurt. How could the same Taehyung you knew all this time do such a thing to you?

His expression was that of soft panic, his fear of losing you outshining any other emotion. You both looked at eachother for a few more seconds or minutes, maybe, before he continued.

“i’m not going to say it was an accident.” The scattered pieces of your heart showed new cracks within them. They’d be nothing but dust by the end, you figured. You looked down at the floor.

“I knew she was intending to kiss me. I didn’t think she’d try to, though. You have to believe me when I tell you it wasn’t something i wanted. I’ve done everything I can to keep things professional between us, but she doesn’t get tired of trying. I didn’t know she would do this. Ple—please look at me.” Could you believe him? You closed your eyes and inhaled a heavy breath, laden with your insecurities. Looking into his eyes, maybe it was wishful thinking, you saw they held the only emotion he’d retained throughout his his entire ordeal: sincerity. You could see even remorse. His brain was filled with ‘If only’ and ‘I should’ve’ thoughts. He hoped—desperately—you could believe him. He’d heard many in his position talk of this situation happening and he didn’t want the end they described to happen.

“I know I should’ve pushed her off as soon as she neared me, but she always flirts with me and never steps over the line. I should’ve done it immediately, but I was stunned. If checking the cameras will make you happy then I’ll arrange so that you can look at the footage.” He suggested his voice softening and lifting into what sounded like a question. You took his cheeks in your warming hands and softly pecked him. You’d believe him, even if your brain screamed that he wasn’t being truthful. Even if your body didn’t want to believe the truth he spoke, you trusted him with your life.

-o-

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