#I am so tired of my account sitting in the negative | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeywiththemoneyloa222 · 20 days

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MY LONG AWAITED SUCCESS STORY PLUS RANT/YALL NEED THIS STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ

First things first

I’m tired of being nice

I have took time out of MY day to help you guys

EVERY DAY

I have given tips methods

Advice answered questions

Replied to countless amounts of DMs

Etc etc I’m not providing false hope here I AM trying to help you guys

I’m getting so many different suggestions and asks

Let me say this

STOP

from now on

No more questions

If it’s urgent

Like you really wanna know something

DM me

I WILL respond

No more questions asking how to enter the void

My account is literally talking about HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE

Are instructions not clear?????

Get off your butt and fucking do it!!!!

Stop procrastinating stop being lazy stop asking questions you spreads know the answers to

And for the love of God

STOP ASKING ME TO ENTER FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!

I’m doing what I can to help you all manifest

But it’s YOUR job to make it happen

Y’all used my kindness against me and it’s pissing me off I’m tired of people not even asking anymore

Just begging me

I AM NOT A MAGICIAN

I was literally YOU

not too long ago

I am a nice person but I am at my limits

Stop repeating questions

Look at my page for the answers you need

Stop asking me to enter for you

If it’s not happening

DM me for ADVICE

I used to be the kid that got asked by others to do their homework for them

If I didn’t put my foot down

Y’all were gonna drive me insane

Literally

I love y’all but stop depending on me

Just ask

For advice

But stop treating me like a Genie

And I manifested for someone and it doesn’t work

Then what

Am I a liar now???

Am I fake??

Like are you serious

Bruh I’m serious when I say

I’ve had enough

Read this story to see how YOU CAN ALSO

Transform your life

I literally went from

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

I went from slitting my own wrists and going in my closet trying to hang myself EVERY FUCKING NIGHT

I used to stare in the mirror

Crying about how my body looked

I used to go to school scared because I was getting abused by guys there and bullied by girls

All my friends turned their backs on me and I literally said

FUCK IT

I don’t deserve this fucking life so you know what I did????

I changed it

It’s so easy it’s insane

I too over complicated it

I too was desperate

But your desires are yours

They just are

Ignore them MF negative thoughts

Matter of a fact don’t even call it that

You are giving your “intrusive” thoughts power by saying they are negative

Don’t label them as intrusive thoughts

THEY DO NOT EXIST

THEY WILL NEVER MANIFEST

And I’m not just saying that it’s true

It’s soooo fucking true

By labeling them as “intrusive” or “negative” you’re giving them power

To take over and control your life

When this is not what you want

Don’t fear your own head

Bitch it’s YOUR BRAIN

It can’t NOT listen to you

Change your goddamn assumptions

You are a bad bitch you’re hot beautiful

You’re THAT bitch

Bad bitches don’t beg we make shit happen

Get off your cute ass and go get your dream fucking life

Bitch you can have it all

You can marry Shawn Mendez

Be the sexiest model on the planet (but you’re only 5’3) OK ANDDDDD

Marissa Rose is the first 4’11 runway model

You mean to tell me it’s not possible???

They have plus size models

Shirt models

Models with tig ol biddies

Models with tattoos models with piercings models with scars etc

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

You can get a call back from that job

Better yet fuck 9 to 5s

Bitch YOU ARE RICH

You are literally Jeff Bezos

Don’t manifest “small shit” cuz if you can get an apartment and a job

You can also manifest $100 million and 2500 square feet mansion

You can have superpowers

You can be a master manifestor

You can become a celebrity and overnight

You can meet your favorite celebrities at awards shows

You can sit next to Ice Spice at the Grammys

EVEN SHE MANIFESTED HER DREAM LIFE

There’s proof in her old tweets and in your interviews

YOU CAN HAVE HARRY STYLES TICKETS FOR WHENEVER HE DECIDES TO DROP AN ALBUM

YOU CAN BE THE NEXT BEYONCÉ

YOU CAN MEET OR EVEN PERFORM WITH TAYLOR SWIFT

YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT

YOU CAN SHIFT TO ANOTHER REALITY AND MEET MICHAEL JACKSON

YOU CAN HAVE THE SINGING VOICE OF AALIYAH OR MF MARIAH CAREY

YOU CAN MANIFEST THAT YOUR DOG NEVER DIED OR THAT

YOUR EX STILL MISSES YOU

KANYE WEST MANIFESTED KIM K

TOM HOLLAND MANIFESTED ZENDAYA

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CANT HAVE

MICHAEL B JORDAN WAITING ON YOU HAND AND FOOT????

YOU CAN ENTER THE VOID MANIFEST YOUR Sp

AND WAKE UP NEXT TO YOUR CRUSH

YOU CAN MANIFEST BEING IMMUNE TO BAD SHIT BEING A GODDESS BEING SO BEAUTIFUL THAT PEOPLE FORGET MEGAN FOX EXISTS

YOU CAN MANIFEST LOOKING LIKE MARILYN MONROE

OR MADISON BEER

YOU CAN MANIFEST TALENT

BITCH ITS ALL POSSIBLE

You OWN THIS SHIT THIS IS YOUR LIFE BOO

Go fucking get it!!!!!!!

SUCCESS STORY

I was tired of own shit so I used the method that I created

I already posted it

Go read it

Here’s what I manifested

1. SP

I manifested a girlfriend because I’m bisexual asf

And I created her on my phone

Just write if list of what she looks and acts like

I manifested my dream career

I manifested platonic SPs

As in friendships

Money

A strong intuition

More knowledge

A better self concept

Immunity

The ability to hypnotize with my eyes(OK I HAVENT TESTED THIS OUT BUT IM EXCITED TO)

Meeting a celebrity

Can’t say who but I manifested it for the future

I even got pets now!!! A puppy two kittens and two snakes!!

I manifested lots of cool talents

I improved my dancing!!!!!!

I was insecure about my voice

So I changed it

Deadass I sound kinda sexy now

I wanted a whispery ass voice😭😭

So I got oneeee

I also manifested a LOT of personal stuff that I won’t share

Unfortunately I’m SUPER protective of my soul and just overall self

And I’m not posting a face reveal

This might seem surprising to most

My passive aggressive behavior but this is literally how I am daily

I really am nice but y’all just make me ANXIOUS

But still

I love you darlings soooo much

Like for real

But please just pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Don’t make me your wish granter

Make your own wishes come true

If it’s cool with y’all

I’ll manifest tonight

That entering the void will be easy for you guys

But you HAVE to do it yourself I can only guide you

You got this babe

If you got offended it’s working

That means you needed this

Take this tough love and go use it for good

I better see some goddamn success stories this month or we gon fight

(Not literally that’s just my humor talking)

Love you bitches

Now go meditate before I appear under your bed tonight and yank yo shit

Love youuuu💗💗💗💗💗

#void state #law of assumption #law of attraction #void #law of manifestation #manifesting #manifesation #subliminals #loassblog #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #loa success #loablr #success story #reality shifting #desired reality #guided meditation

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sencubussubs · 3 months

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Robotic Affirming

Hi lovelies!

Let’s talk Robotic Affirming! Robotic affirming is a manifestation method that works using repetition to replace assumptions and beliefs:

Key principles: (to any method / during manifestation)

- Repetition

- Saturation

- Persistence

- Discipline

Understanding Robotic Affirming:

Robotic affirming works by mindlessly affirming all throughout the day. You do not need to feel it real or visualise, you are simply repeating a (preferably short) affirmation over and over to saturate your mind and replace previous dominant thoughts / assumptions you held.

Saturating your mind is how you create new beliefs. Whether you work with affirmations or states, you saturate your mind with the decision you are making to change.

Ways to robotically affirm:

1. Mindlessly affirming for set periods of time or at any moment that you do not need to be focusing on something (like work or school). Mindless / robotic just means you are repeating the affirmation without thinking about it or needing to feel emotion

2. 10 minute method/ Power affirming: set a timer for ten minutes in which you only repeat your affirmation(s) (1-2). Do not focus on anything else, just your affirmations.

3. SATS affirming: if you struggle with visualisation you can also robotically affirm yourself to sleep :) just repeat the affirmations over and over, don’t think too hard about it. I like to count and affirm “1 I am *affirmation*. 2. I am *affirmation*. 3. i am *affirmation*” and so on.

When working with robotic affirmations it is best to work with 1-2 max 3 affirmations at a time, as it is just easier to remember and repeat less affirmations. Over time (not a long time) you will find yourself automatically start to affirm when you are not doing anything/ randomly thinking of your affirmations! it makes affirming feel far more normal.

Tip: if you get distracted easily, or to make it fun, use a counter app and see how many times you can affirm in the 10 minutes (or longer!).

Persistence as with any manifestation is key. If you have thoughts that pop up that don’t align with your affirmations, do not just allow them to sit and complain in your head. Those thoughts are irrelevant to who you now are deciding to be. It takes discipline to create new assumptions - but not a long time (unless you continuously assume it does). If an unfavourable thought pops up, take a deep breath and remember, this does not align with you anymore. it is irrelevant.

E.G.

my affirmation is: I have 5 thousand dollars in my bank account.

thought pops up: Man I am so broke.

Response: No, actually i know that i have five thousand dollars in my bank account so that thought is so irrelevant to me. *let the thought through and then move on! Do not let negative thoughts stress you out. you are doing everything right!*

Finding your strengths

not everyone will enjoy robotic affirming, they may find it tiring to affirm all the time and that’s fine. For me it is a simple and healthy habit that keeps my mind busy on positive saturation in time periods where typically negative thoughts may pop up!

For some visualisation and states may be tiring! So maybe this will suit you :)

Remember that it is not your affirmations that manifest, it is you. You are using the affirmations to change your subconscious beliefs - even if you don’t believe the affirmations, the repetition and saturation will train your mind - unless you spend all the time counter-affirming about “oh it is not working”, it is literally only not working because you are deciding it isn’t….

Also i really do not care if another content creator states “erm robotic affirming doesn’t work”, it may not have ‘worked’ for them but it has worked time and time again for others! As always, do not let one’s experience dictate what can and cannot work for you.

Here are some content creators I like that use and talk about robotic affirming :

- Sammy Ingram

- Your Thoughts Create

- Rita kaminski

- Manifesting with kimberly

- Alex Khan

you can find all of them on youtube :) Remember not to over-consume! It will not help you.

As a final note i want to remind you that manifestation is not a process it is a decision. You are not affirming to get something, you are affirming as a reminder to yourself of what is already yours. As you saturate your mind with this it becomes an undeniable fact to your mind and as such the 3D will reflect it.

Have anymore questions about robotic affirming or anything else law of assumption? Feel free to send a dm or an ask, my messages are always open <3

Love,

Saph

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #loassblog #loassumption #sencubus #loa #conscious manifesting #manifestation technique #manifestation techniques #robotic affirmations #robotic affirming #affirmations #loass affirmations #law of assumption affirmations #law of assumption techniques #law of assumption method #law of assumption tumblr #law of assumption blog

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tarotwithdanise · 1 year

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Why you should continue pursuing this career path? Are you on the right track right now?

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose a pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2

3 - 4

rules, disclaimer and notes ☆

[ 1. ] just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

[ 2. ] please ignore any grammatical errors on my reading since english is not my first language, thank you for understanding!

[ 3. ] third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you or the other person that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.

[ 4. ] lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)

for tips, donation and paid readings ☆

TIPS JAR DONATION BOX

MASTERLIST PAID READING SERVICES

[ ♡ ] check out my second account @danisetarot.

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , i don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and belong to yours truly. i use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header, divider and piles pictures.

Pile one

- Are you on the right path and why you should continue pursuing this career?

cards : king of wands, eight of pentacles, page of pentacles, the world, five of wands, ten of cups and four of cups.

Yes, you are on the right one. But it seems like you facing some struggles currently with this path, I see an opportunity giving to you but you likely to ignore it or if not, you are thinking of it very deeply before making a decision. I see you'll grow and you probably gonna find your success here that may lead into permanent position of stability that you really desire. Many people may view you as an ideal leader with this job, they probably gonna see you as a hardworking individual and likes to give all the best as you can. Your success is about determination and hardwork, you are not just sitting there and waiting the success to serve you. Also, maybe for many of you, you like to work on with another city or country? With the FoW, I viewed this card with your spread as a positive card - I see teamwork makes this career perfect for you and for them.

Your job may involved many people at once, perhaps you may prefer working alone. This job, may give you an opportunity to travel the globe. I see that you probably gonna break generational cycle(FoW & ToC) because you have a strong ability to change it. Right now, you may feel very tired but this exhausting moments will probably gonna have a positive outcomes. Don't let this negativity to stay you out of focus from this path. You are doing your best, keep moving. But whatever job this is, it will give you freedom and happiness that you really want. You'll be happy whatever job you end up with. You maybe experiencing family problems or fight right now but I do see approaches and finding a solution for this problem so it will take it down.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile two

- Are you on the right path and why you should continue pursuing this career?

cards : nine of pentacles, four of pentacles, five of cups, temperance, death, page of wands and the star.

It seems like you are doubting this path. You are questioning yourself right now, if you were really on the right path and perhaps you may want to change it, if so make a shift then. You feel giving up and you wanted to stop. You think there's no chances anymore for you to achieve your goals and financial stability. And these thoughts of you is the one stopping you to achieve and make yourself free for choosing the right path for you perhaps that you really on the right one, you are just doubting yourself and this path which is totally wrong. It's kinda hurt for me that you tend to hold and focus with this loss rather than to be hopeful for your future.

The best way for you to do right now is to find a balance with your mental, spiritual and physical health for you to start again with a new beginning, like back to zero where you feel everything is good. Please don't lose hope, you got this! We all been through with this rough situation, it will make you strong individual. In addition, you have an ability to change everything, your surroundings and yourself. You were going through a feeling of disappointed and discouraged but this is just a phase you know, because after a FoC card popped up, the Temperance card followed this means you will be able to fill empty glasses with new water again, like i said new beginnings. Hmmm, let me get some more for this pile. With the death card here in this spread this talks to me changes and endings, while with the page of wands followed this means someone who is young and messages like text, calls or mails. This is so random but are you dreaming to be a singer, idol or actor? In short, someone who is the field of the public eye? well honestly that just came out of nowhere.

I see that it's either someone who is younger than you or someone who have a youthful spirit may have an important message for you like a new job offer or opportunities (if you currently applying for a work ) or this can represent you too or if not, you likely to cut off your ties and connection with this person to start a new beginning. I see a hope for a new career path, you will be truly blessed by the Universe this time. You will be bold and be inspired to succeed.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile three

- Are you on the right path and why you should continue pursuing this career?

The fire zodiac signs is very prominent with your natal chart with little bit influences of air signs but it doesn't have to be you if don't actually have, just focus on the reading itself. I suddenly see the 7:17 on the clock, this might be an angel number which telling you that you are absolutely on the right path. Right now, you are carrying all of the responsibilities even though you can't really do all of them at once this bring frustration and stress in your current situation. Please, if you can, let go some of these responsibilities. It's not always you are the best at multi-tasking, yes it is, you are good. But the current one, bring you a lot of frustrations. If you are waiting for job application to called you back, expect a response from them. You also need to analyze and observe the people and what's happening around you lately because I see someone here, they are jealous to you. Be careful and cautious when making decisions. You maybe experiencing self-loathing and self-doubt, you maybe need self-reflection, love and personal growth.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile four

- Are you on the right path and why you should continue pursuing this career?

cards : ace of wands, the tower, queen of pentacles, nine of pentacles, the world, knight of pentacles and the lovers.

Strong passion. This is what you desire, this is what you want to be in the future. You don't want other's opinion with this career to tell you what to do about. You knew that you will find your success here, you believe in that. Maybe in a little by little progress but you will find you success by being free and happy with this career. You have a strong fighting spirit, your success is in front of you now. The Universe is offering and gifting it to you, this is a fulfilling career path. Your hardwork about this career will reap off in the end, patient and determination is needed. Your talent will served you well, people will probably notice this to you and will respect, appreciate and think highly on you. Your current situation is stressing you a lot now. Expect a drastically changes and new beginnings when it comes to career. Good things will come, so mote it be.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 7 days

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Hiiiiiiiiiiii. How are you? What are you up to? Been in a reading slump again. The year is not going well i blame Jimin. Alot been happening

1)why can’t i get into succession? I dont understand i have watched ep 1 3 times and i can’t get into it 🤦🏾‍♀️

2) is hybe ok? I am confused and also yes to drama entertain me i guess

3)i only have been here for some of shinee military service and Taemin(obviously), are military man allowed to do what i have been seeing posting on social media, doing promo?

4) your faves are taking this military life under the radar 18 months too seriously, show me your face 😡

5) also i was looking at Jimin video from when Jk went to cook for him(idc what they are but if i had someone like Jungkook i would be married) i understand why jungkook is obsessed with Jimin. I too would go cook after a concert tired for him, i too would be a pick me for him, i too want to be rejected time after time on live when i offer to go to his house. Not even too fuck him ill be content just to sit there and look at him bonus if he could throw me some cuddles. Can you tell im jealous? Im not 😈

Hiiiiiii @5813!!!! It's always lovely to hear from you 🩷

Thanks for sectioning your ask, it makes this so much easier.

1) Don't force yourself, perhaps it's simply not the right time. Or it will never be. There's plenty others to choose from.

I was in a similar situation many years ago when I tried to watch The Sopranos and I couldn't get past the first episode. I found it boring and not as entertaining as Goodfellas or The Godfather. Fast forward, I just finished the series last night and I can finally say that I too have watched one of the greatest series of American television. I can finally understand the jokes and the references. And now, perhaps at my current age and just my mood in general, I could sit down and get immersed into it.

2) All is not ok in Hybe land and I personally have no concern for it. Let them all fight. It's never sunshines and rainbows in the corporate world.

3) Hmm, I have to say that I have had some similar questions about this too. Let's say I can accept that projects finalized before enlistment can be released during military service (I'm not willing to go into another debate on this specifically, I've had enough of it, case closed). But posting on social media about said projects? I find it odd and I'm not sure what the rules are. I haven't heard of any negative consequences for them, so what do I know? I was left with the impression that it's not right, but perhaps they are walking a fine line, open to interpretation. In his latest Weverse post, Jungkook mentioned that since he can't promote himself, he opened an account for Bam. So, what is it then? Is it allowed or not?

4) I knew kukumimi would do this, it's on brand and as much as I want to see them, I think it's better that they are keeping it under the radar. I heard they also just finished this intense training they had and they might get some vacation days. Perhaps they will show their faces. It's never the easy way with them, right?

5) I really enjoyed that glimpse into their evening, even if it was in front of the camera. It still felt nice and very lowkey, particularly after a concert. You wouldn't think they were jumping on a stage for two hours before that.

I think we're all jealous of Jungkook and so be it. He said so himself, we will keep being jealous, he'll still hold Jiminie (and cook for him).

#m thoughts #jikook #hybe #kpop

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lxclerc · 1 year

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plagiarism...again

hi, everyone, coming on here to talk to you guys about plagiarism...again. it's been brought to my attention that my fics have been plagiarized and translated to spanish and reposted to another site without my permission. this person is under the username _casiopeaaa on wattpad.

i was first informed that this person stole my work called ten seconds, when i pointed out the clear plagiarism, this person deleted the comments and blocked me but they deleted the stolen fanfic. the next day, i received another message telling me that this same person stole another fanfic of mine called fiery when i used another account to call them out, this person insists she didn't steal anything and i'm just spreading hate and negativity.

but let's review it, shall we?

their fic: "Era Obvio por como miraba fijamente el brazo de su cita rodeoándola, el hundimiento en mi estómago y la ira que crecía en mi pecho, esteba muriébdome" translation: It was obvious by the way he stared at her date's arm around her, the sinking in my stomach and the anger growing in my chest, I was dying of jealousy. my fic: "Charles is jealous. He isn’t too proud to admit it but if the sinking in his stomach and the anger rising in his chest isn’t jealousy from the sight of your date’s arm around you and the bright smile painting your face then he doesn’t know what it is.”

their fic: "Una brillante sonrisa iluminaba su rostro. No tengo derecho a estar celoso. Mila y yo solo somos amigos, cómo se lo hemos repetido a cualquiera que nos lo haya preguntado. Amigos. Amigos que se suelen besarse. Amigos que comparten la misma cama algunas noches. Amigos que parece que no pueden quedarse quietos sin que partes de su cuerpo se toquen. Pero definitivamente solo amigos." translation: A bright smile lit up his face. I have no right to be jealous. Mila and I are just friends, as we have repeated to anyone who has asked us. Friends. Friends who often kiss each other. Friends who share the same bed some nights. Friends who can't seem to sit still without parts of their bodies touching. But definitely just friends. my fic: "Not that he has any right to be jealous. You and Charles are only friends as you’ve repeatedly told yourselves and anyone who asked. Friends who share the same bed nearly every night and can’t seem to keep still without parts of your skin touching but definitely just friends. It doesn’t matter if he spends every hour of every day wanting to kiss you silly till your lips are swollen or if he wants to rip this man’s arm off its socket for touching you because friends are what you’ve always been and perhaps it’s all you’ll ever be.”

those are just the first two paragraphs but as you've probably guessed, the entire thing was copied.

first thing's first, i'd suggest checking out their works because their "drive to survive" one shot compilation is full of stolen work so maybe see if your work is one of those.

honestly, i don't even know what to say. i'm genuinely considering quitting tumblr all together. this is my FOURTH time having my work stolen and i am tired y'all. the last time this happened, it completely drained me from any inspiration to write anything. and now i don't even see the point of writing and publishing it on here anymore knowing i'll probably have to keep dealing with this shit.

i've tried to be nice, i've tried to be forgiving. i'm just really really tired of this shit that i don't even know what else to say. if you can, please report that user on wattpad.

also thank you to @itsgxsly for informing of this. i really really appreciate it.

#formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 one shot #charles leclerc x reader #tags purely so it reaches the right people

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negative-speedforce · 5 months

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platonic sentence starters ❛ do you think we’re friends in every universe? ❜ ❛ you’re interesting and different and i like that. ❜ ❛ i like being alone but i’d rather be alone with you. ❜ ❛ you’re important to me, you little shit. ❜ ❛ no offense, but you look terrible. ❜ ❛ alright, who am i beating up? ❜ ❛ because you love me! duh! ❜ :)

"Because you love me! Duh!"

With: My OCs Siv, Hailey, and Jay

"In the wise words of Taylor Swift- welcome to New York." Jay grinned, dropping two suitcases on the apartment floor.

"Thank Cassandra's parents for us, will you?" Hailey hung the key on the peg by the door. "This view is amazing."

"No problem. It's been in their family for years. I tried to convince them to sell it for more- a three-bedroom condo with views of the Brooklyn Bridge has gotta be upwards of ten million these days."

"I mean, with the money I inherited when I got that stupid fucking death certificate rescinded, I probably could have paid them at least double that." Siv opened the floor-to-ceiling blinds, light flooding the front room. "Did you know my dad had over a billion dollars in offshore accounts? I have no idea if he got it legally or not, but honestly, I don't give a shit."

"Honestly? Me neither." Hailey dropped her bags on the sofa. "This place was such a steal."

"So... why Brooklyn?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"New York doesn't really need more superheroes." Hailey squeezed her fiancee's hand. "That's why we wanted to move here. So we could scale back. Deal with city-destroying crises rather than world-ending ones."

"I want to go to art school." Siv said. "I mean, I need to finish my high school diploma first, but I'm pretty sure the knowledge I picked up just from my dad is enough to take care of that, plus at least the equivalent of a year or two of college."

"Never thought of you being an artist, but okay." Jay shrugged.

"I don't know, I want to try something new." Siv replied. "I'm trying not to live in the past anymore. I want to push myself to be something better than I was. And now that me and the Negative Speed Force are finally getting along, I won't have any more of those embarrassing incidents."

"I wouldn't call accidentally blowing up a building because you're pissed off a minor incident." Jay laughed. Siv elbowed him.

"To be fair, there was an attempted robbery and I was just trying to cash my paycheck, and I didn't blow up the entire building, I just accidentally overloaded an ATM that exploded and caused a chain reaction that made all the other ATMs explode." Siv corrected. "You should have seen that homeless guy outside, when all the money came flying out with the blast."

"Wait- that actually happened?" Hailey snorted. "That's fucking hilarious."

"I swear to god Hailey if you don't shut up now I'm leaving everything to Delilah." Siv clutched their cat close to their chest.

"What? You have to admit, it is funny." Jay replied.

"Remind me why we're friends again?" Siv rolled her eyes.

"Because you love me!" Jay elbowed Siv. "Duh."

Siv handed Delilah to Hailey. "See, I seem to remember finding some random weeb who didn't have any friends and inviting him to sit with me."

"Actually, if I remember correctly, I reached out to the friendless weirdo who everyone was terrified of because they kept getting in so many fights. And winning, of course."

"Smart addition." Siv jumped slightly as a portal opened in the floor, the rest of the suitcases and furniture being spat through to their new apartment. "Thanks, Cassandra, I guess."

"It's pronounced 'kuh-sand-rah'!" Cassandra yelled through the portal before it closed.

"That's... literally what I said." They frowned.

"You said 'cass-ahn-drah'." Jay said. "You know Cass hates that."

"Babe, where's your jacket?" Hailey asked, going through a box.

"I'm wearing it, Hailes." Siv laughed.

Hailey looked up. "I'm tired."

#post canon my beloved #revan writes #oc shit #ask revan #vexic :D #siv thawne #hailey laurence #jay barron

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konoa-t · 6 months

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GranEssex Live Konoa Reaction (part 1)

Henlo I am deciding to do a live reading of @kachikirby ‘s series GranEssex Chronicles

I’m gonna try and go through the entire series, starting with the first book, “Wings of Beginning”

This is my first full-on live blogging(?) post, so idk if theres any way I should be doing it but f*ck it we ball

Anyway there’s a lot of text so behind a cut it goes!

(SPOILER WARNING cuz i’ll also be talking about what goes down in the book to give context for my ramblings)

Chapter 1

Note: Gonna try to use punctuation for now but this will probably disintegrate as time goes on (me hate punctuation on tumblr blog ooga booga). Also this live blog is pretty summary-heavy, but I’ll try to tone that down in future posts.

I’ve technically read up until chapter 4, but I’m gonna go ahead and backtrack to look over the previous chapters again and give my reaction on those :D it would feel weird to just start it halfway through anyway. The chapter opens up with Kurabe (if u don’t know who that is you should probably go check out Kachi’s account) going on a mission to eliminate a criminal group only to see that everyone’s just been absolutely bodied by some blue toddler with a stick. Kurabe’s like, “hey I need to take u in for questioning” and the kid is like “nuh uh” and tries clubbing her to death, but obviously Kurabe is stronger so she just blocks him. Even though I was only, like, two sentences in, my attention was already grabbed; I was very excited to see what happened next :D Anyway, Kurabe gets one of her swords knocked out of her hand by the kid, and she’s just like “ah.” But then she teleports behind him and chops him in the back of the head with her hand, causing the kid to faint. I was kinda surprised that she just knocked him out like that, but I guess it makes sense because she had a job to do lmao. Anyway she gets back to her ship and Mercury is there and, upon seeing the child, is just like “HUH”. Kurabe says that he’s fine and only has minor injuries, so she goes to her room to patch him up a little. She wondered why someone would leave their kid on a planet with so much criminal activity, and I honestly agreed because I was just as confused 💀 who leaves a whole toddler on the planetary equivalent of Detroit??? Insane, bro. So anyway she cleans him up and after he wakes up, Kurabe says good morning to him and the kid just immediately goes

Anyway, Kurabe tells him to calm down and asks his name, to which the child responds, “Meta.” It was pretty much implied from the start that this was Meta Knight, but I was still like “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS HIM” Anyway cue Meta being suspicious of Kurabe and Kurabe trying her best to calm him down. I’m watching this whole interaction go down and honestly wondering if Meta’s just gonna straight up maul Kurabe, but thankfully he doesn’t. Kurabe’s maternal urges start taking over and she offers to raise Meta- err, I meannn… train him (because I can’t imagine it would be good to send him back to space Detroit 💀) and Meta asks if he can stay on her ship forever. Kurabe is like “yeah sure” and then after talking, she helps show him around his new room and then they sit down and have a meal together. The image of Meta playing with the spaghetti was really cute :D Meta makes mention of Kurabe’s sword and Kurabe tells him that she’d train him. However, she did warn him that he training was so intense that students have quit or even DIED because of it (which is…. Scary /not neg). He agrees to the training. Meta then got kinda tired so he went to go to sleep, and as Kurabe was tucking him in, he grabs onto her and they end up falling asleep together :DD Overall this was a very cute chapter and it does a great job of grabbing the attention.

#I was gonna do more chapters but i think i’m gonna start off slow for this post #Next post I’ll probably try to do chapters 2 3 and 4 #GranEssex Stuff #Live Konoa Reaction

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jupiter-nwn · 7 months

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Today has been a... day/neg :<

idk how to describe it!!! Like aghhhH!!!!!!!

Context so y'all can be mad with me, or upset, or however you feel but!! Yesterday my friend is So So So So sad bc they won't be able to see their girlfriend for... a week and a half? more or less. So we decide to hang out! this is a big deal, the bus in my town sucks so going there takes 20min and coming back home takes me two hours because my bus only goes in one direction, so I gotta take another bus to get me to another city, walk to the bus station, and take the bus home, which all takes two hours.

So we hang out, and we're going around, and they're constantly checking their phone because Turns Out they might leave later TO SEE THEIR PARTNER, which they supposedly couldn't, and which they supposedly were SO SAD about not being able to do!! and!! And I didn't wanna say anything! I didn't even care!! but then they ask me where I'm gonna be eating and I'm like "well, taking into account that I'm in a whole separate town from where I live, I'd guess in your house?" and they're like "ah, I don't think you can come to my house" which, okay, I had some money, I'd get me a sandwich or something, but at 13:30, (here in spain lunch time is between 14h-15h, so this was before), they tell me "oh I gotta go home for a bit" and then spend A WHOLE HOUR IN THEIR HOUSE, and I stay sitting on the door to their building like an idiot, until they suddenly appear and tell me that they ARE going to see their partner, RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND, and that they have to take a bus for that, and that I should come too. On the bus, not to see their partner. So I'm already realizing that they have either forgotten or not taken into account the fact that I'll have to spend three and a half hours in a whole different city waiting for my only bus home, and so we got on the bus, and then just. Went to the other city, and I got off the bus, and they stayed. And that's it. I spent the next four hours walking around that city and in the bus station having eaten nothing all day, unable to really eat anything, and so damn tired because I had gotten up early to go see them; and with no internet.

I spent eight hours away from home today and only around two hours have been spent In Presence of my friend, and most of that time has been them making/taking calls and then in the bus talking with two other friends of theirs they found.

idk... aishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

idk how I'm supposed to feel!! Am I meant to be sad? angry? upset? Or to take it as them realizing they CAN go see their partner and I guess getting too lost in that to remember, uh, me?

idk idk idkkkkkk

#cw vent

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striped-shirt-drama-truth · 1 year

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Hello, this is Alice. Some of you may know me as striped-shirt-dahmer-supremacy. I was here for a short period before my blog was reported and deactivated. As everyone in this little niche community knows, there has been drama between the so-called elites and the rest of the community for the past month. I belonged to the private server of the so-called elites. I am not making this post to add fuel to the fire or instigate more drama. I am simply making this post to come clean and speak my truth.

Yesterday, I left the server and deactivated my discord account after being messaged by a member of the discord because she had come across some information that she perceived as being complicit in "making things worse" with the ensuing drama. I do not handle being confronted in an angry manner well, and did not calmly or rationally reply. If I'm going to be honest, I also do not like the member who confronted me, so the exchanged was already negative right off the bat. Further more, I do not take kindly to her demanding that I respond to her. I actually do have a life outside of this community, so contrary to whatever she may think, I was in the middle of attending to other things that morning and really did not appreciate being demanded that I reply to her.

After thinking it over today, I've realized I regret not reaching out to certain members of this community, because despite everything, I did consider some of these people my friends. However, I left the server and deactivated my account, so I can't. So after mulling things over, I decided to come here and write this post.

Anyways, the truth is this: yes, I was friendly with Kiera aka doin-a-dahmer. I felt her banning was unfair, but I also felt the entire situation was blown entirely out of proportion by both sides. Everyone should've talked the situation over. It didn't mean Kiera had to stay in the discord, but maybe things could've ended on a less sour note. Because I was friendly with Kiera, I did send her screenshots of some of what was said about her. I didn't divulge this to the rest of the discord because I knew everyone would've been angry at me. But I say this to all of you - don't act like you wouldn't have done the same thing for your friend. You know if one of you had been banned, you would've done the exact same damn thing. As much as everyone there loves to claim to not want drama, we all enjoy it. And I can't lie, I enjoyed it too, which is partially why I sent Kiera these messages in the first place and also stuck around the discord. But I'm also not a complete monster like I'm sure everyone feels I am now. I also considered you guys my friends and wanted to stay part of the discord. I felt bad about what I did, and I also felt like the drama was getting out of hand, and I no longer wanted to be a part of it. So I decided to block Kiera and moved on. I hoped the drama would be over, but of course it wasn't. You all know what comes next.

The reality is, no one is innocent in this situation. This could've all died down if the rest of the discord had stopped responding to Kiera and her group and just blocked them and went on their way. It also could've ended if everyone in Kiera's discord had done the same. It really doesn't matter either way, I'm just tired of everyone on either side pretending they are victims. I'm not going to pretend to be a victim either. I enjoyed the drama and added fuel to the fire. I made fun of Kiera and other members of this community because it was fun. I know it makes me seem like a piece of shit, but don't act like the rest of you don't do it and enjoy it, too. Save for a few members who left our discord because they did not like the dram and never actively engaged in this behavior, we ALL kept the drama going because it was fun. It basically became the main topic of our discord, so lets not sit here and pretend we didn't like it. Not even a certain member who loves to sit around with lecturing everyone about how the drama needs to end, pretending she is so above all of it with her sanctimonious, holier than thou attitude, white continuing to fan the flames herself. You know who you are.

To my friends in the discord, I say, from the bottom of my heart, I am genuinely sorry for the hurt I've caused you. I really did care about you and like talking to each and every one of you. I really meant it when I said I considered you my friend. I reacted poorly because I knew there was no way what I did would be forgiven. However, I owe it to all of you to apologize to you. I'm ready to put this chapter of my life behind me and move on, but I wanted to say I'm sorry to each and every one of you. I wish all of you the best and hope you can put this drama behind you, too. I also apologize to Kiera for not sticking up for you. I should've been a mediator on your behalf. Maybe I could've helped so things didn't reach this point. I was an idiot who wanted to be part of a group and didn't want to get banned. Even if I didn't agree with all of your actions, I should've done better by you. For that, I am sorry.

And to the person who DMed me, I won't be naming your name, because I know you would love the attention. You can thank me for making this post and giving you more drama to milk for attention in the discord at least. You're welcome bb! Since you were demanding yesterday to know the truth about what me and Kiera talked about, here you go. The truth is, we began talking because we couldn't stand how you always engage in drama and then when you tire of it, you feel the need to lecture everyone about how it's over and tell everyone else what they should be doing. We couldn't stand your holier than thou attitude. We couldn't stand how it's blatantly obvious that you're a narcissist who dominates the entire chat with your drama and makes every god damn thing about you. Your need for attention and validation was so fucking annoying that it actually brought us together. We also got a good laugh about your atrocious fanfic. It has nothing to do with the fact that we were bothered you "straight washing" Jeff, because personally, I couldn't give a shit. It truly is just one of the worst pieces of writing we've ever had the misfortune of reading! Seriously, you are probably the worst writer I've ever read in my life, and there is a lot of garbage out there. For a story with basically nothing but smut, it's painfully unsexy. The sex scenes are straight out of every shitty misogynistic porno, except they're so completely devoid any anything remotely sexy. And I'm sure you're going to read this and post in the discord about how "funny" it is that you "live rent-free in our minds," but the truth is, it was hard for us not to notice when you never shut the fuck up about yourself. But a narc is gonna narc, I guess.

Anyways, I've said my peace. Thank you all. Goodbye.

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sunivaa · 2 years

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Dressed my sim-self in a dress and came to you to talk a little.

Now everyone is discussing EA, early access, some creators talked about how they were negatively affected by the perception of creating CC as work and other things. I am very sorry that people feel bad and I am glad that they are better now, I hope it will be like that.

In this text, I want to talk about myself and why I am glad that EA allowed early access. For me, creating CC is probably the most favorite thing, despite the fact that I have hardly played the Sims for quite some time. Just sit, spin meshes, add new spins. I use EA meshes, edit them and add new twists to create something unique in this game, some hairstyles have almost nothing left of the mesh of course, but that's not the point. I am very passionate about this business and the fact that I can monetize it somehow is very important. I live with my mother, so far I have neither the ability nor the need to live on my own. I don't get much from my patrons, but it's enough for me to buy medicine that I have to take constantly, buy clothes, cat food, food, and financially help my mom and the people who are currently suffering from the war in my country more , than I am, because I am lucky to live in a relatively safe place. It's important to me to get paid for creating CC, because if I didn't get paid, I would have to go to work. It wouldn't be a tragedy, of course, I would find something where I don't have to die to get pennies, but then I wouldn't be able to do what I really enjoy - making CC. That doesn't mean I'm doing it "just for the money". This means that people who like my CCs allow me to pursue my hobby without the fear that I won't have the funds for what I need.

I am infinitely grateful to everyone who supports me financially or just with kind words. I really like the hair I'm creating now. I like ANY post where I see my CCs. If the closed sunivaa.iva account suddenly likes you on Instagram, then I saw my CC on you and I am happy like a child.

I am glad that the people who support me financially receive thanks from me in the form of early access. It is important to me that I feel that I am not just "living on donations", but that I am giving something for which people are willing to pay a little. It wouldn't be a tragedy for me if I had to remove early access, but I'm glad that for now, I won't have to and my patrons will be able to receive such thanks from me. I feel obliged to you, I'm ashamed that I still can't fix bugs in old hairstyles, or reduce the number of polygons in them. I can do it, but I don't have enough strength and desire for it, I want to create something new. I wouldn't mind at all if someone else does this and posts these hairstyles for themselves! I'm not suggesting this, just saying that you can do whatever you want with all my CCs. I don't care who does what with them. I am happy because I can do what I like.

I hope that one day I will still have the inspiration to fix my old hairstyles, and make that heart belt as an accessory, finish a new blog, I remember everything, but I can't force myself, I don't want to break myself. I hope you are not mad at me for this.

I love myself. I love you. Thank you for allowing me to do what I love. I could write a lot more, but I think someone is already tired of reading

/I do not know English well. It is easier in simple answers, but with such large texts I use a translator, so I apologize if there are any mistakes that I did not notice. I still haven't learned English 👉🏻👈🏻

I will finish the new hair (the one on the screen) and publish it within a day Colored spinning wheels are not my authorship, you can download them here

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sterlingarcher · 2 years

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hey yall, really hate to be this guy but ive been getting kinda fucked by my mental and physical illness recently and im not really in a place anymore where my freelance work is helping me much. wells and audiences have run dry and it really really sucks. i feel dumb for not thinking of it before but ive decided to sign up for rover and check out some dog walking/pet sitting services because with my experience with animals and in a city like philly, i feel like this could be way more lucrative and even more fun for me in the long run. ive been dealing with 2 full years of unemployment with no unemployment insurance and nonstop streams of rejection emails and somethings gotta give. my chase account was shut down after it accumulated a $200+ negative balance, and my venmos been frozen for months from multiple rent and bill payments that were rejected by my bank. i had to switch to mint mobile and let a debt with my previous provider go to collections because i could no longer afford my bill and my ex roommate that i had added onto my plan completely swindled me and dropped communication after we went separate ways.

i switched to chime so if you have chime im willing to accept assistance on there too, just dm me for my chime sign. i of course am happy to accept spotme boosts on there too.

it feels dreadful to be asking for help all the time but im kinda at the end of my rope. if you know me you know ive been through a whole hell of a lot in my 27 years and i feel like ive lived 1000 lives. im so bone tired and world weary and i just need at least this amount of about $728 to help pull up my bootstraps and get me back to a place in my life where i can get back on my medications and function.

goal: $728

already raised: $120

ill update this with how much ive raised in the comments!! thank you all so much for supporting me however you can, whether its kind words, sharing this with your friends and family, or tossing a couple bucks my way. it really means the world to me.

love and hugs ❤️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

#mutual aid #mutual aid request #disability #mental illness #autism #lgbt #lgbtq #trans #transgender #assistance request #assistance #mental health

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gamerbearmira · 2 years

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Small PSA for this blog.

This mf commented on my doctor Mirabel post.

Ok, so I been blocked them and all that, (I will not be telling their handle; do not ask.) but they was saying all this stuff and talking crap about the AU. Like, they took it in the worst way possible. Saying random stuff that I never even implied or said.

And then had the audacity to target my followers??? Like what did they do??

And keep in mind, this person has never followed me, never interacted with me in any other way, never pulled up with ask of some kind, dm, nothing.

And now all of the sudden they wanna come and bash my account??? And then my followers as well??? If you’re gonna bash someone, let it be me, but don’t go for people who aren’t even involved. I really couldn’t give a crap if someone was to bully me, because I’ve dealt with it before and therefore have a tolerance for it. But the fact that they were just blaintly making the AU out to be the hell spawn, that’s not ok.

It’s people like that that make others fear sharing their work, and I have said before, and I’ll say it again. It’s not ok. Why are you so pressed about it? If you really don’t like my blog that much, try…I don’t know…not interacting? You do not have to come on here, and comment that stuff. It happened with another person, and they got the same treatment. They were blocked.

You commenting negative stuff on my posts, will not improve your situation. If I catch anyone doing some mess like that, it’s the same thing. I will block you. If you create another account, I will block you. I will keep banning you from this account until you get that I am not the one. I am not one of those people who will sit there and go back and forth with you. It’s completely pointless, and I’m not going to let you bully me into deleting stuff. Not again.

And this goes for all the things I post. Whether it be Encanto, Jjba, movies, art, original characters, art, fanart, anything.

I’m getting pretty sick and tired of these kinds of people, and it needs to stop. This is not the first time this has happened here, and I mostly definitely know it will not be the last. You won’t even get a warning, because THIS is your one and only warning.

And don’t think I don’t notice y’all going on my other socials. I wasn’t born yesterday, you’ll be blocked there too. (And to that one person that decided to be racist to me; why??? That was uncalled for, you didn’t have to bring in the fact that I was black. That has nothing to do with my art or content.)

#encanto #encanto au #AU #art #black artist on tumblr #black artist #black art

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lindsayrises · 1 year

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7 Days

One week ago, I was sitting in the bathtub and I was terrified. I took a small sip of water from my water bottle and gagged on it. I spit/threw up the water. Then I started coughing and spitting/throwing up more stuff.

I woke up earlier that morning with a repeat of what took me to the ER in April. The thing that hangs in the back of my throat was so swollen, I constantly felt like I was choking on it. I could speak or breath, but not simultaneously.

I typed up some notes (since, ya know, I couldn't speak) and took myself to the doctor. I had never felt so scared, helpless, hopeless, and alone. I cried nearly the entire time I was there.

I'll spare you all the details of that morning and the days since, but I want to say this: This event forced me to put myself first.

I don't give a fuck if someone reading this thinks, "Oh, we've heard that before," because guess what? I'm.Still.Here. I could have given up a LONG time ago. Sometimes I'm embarrassed that I keep trying to do better, to be better.

In the past year I've said the following things in therapy:

I've stopped trying. I'm tired of failing over and over and over again. It's easier to not try than to keep trying and endure failing and the pain, shame, and embarrassment that it comes with over and over and over again.

I'm afraid to feel my feelings. I'm afraid I'll spiral down to a place I'll never recover from.

As I walked to my car after the doctor's visit on Thursday morning, I thought, "Maybe this will be the last time this throat thing happens. Maybe this will be a turning point."

And then I started to feel ashamed and sad and hopeless, because I've had other "maybe this will be a turning point" events that have led to zero changes.

The next second, I took my power back. I told myself, "No. This isn't a "last chance to fix your life" moment. Fuck that. If this (or something similarly scary) happens again, you'll get through it - like every other god damned thing you've overcome. You always have. You always will. You are still here. And that is a fucking miracle."

Before last Thursday, I had taken some steps to truly take care of myself. Some of these things I know I would have never done in the past. I started cutting out unnecessary things from my life. I deactivated my FaceBook account. For over two years I've been a letter-writer for the Run-Write-Fight program under the Still I Run organization. I notified that group that I would no longer be participating. I requested time off (Dec. 1 & 2) to take care of some things.

I cancelled last Sunday's reading group I've been doing most Sunday afternoons with a few former students. I have dates set for December, but I will not be continuing with it in the new year.

Last night was the first time in a week I slept in my house. For the past week I had been staying at hotels. I have spent the last week in hotels because I KNEW that was what I NEEDED to start to heal. My house is a disaster right now. Truthfully, it's been a disaster for months....years? It's not dirty, but the clutter. Ugh. It's suffocating.

I have been so kind and compassionate toward myself the last week. Some negative self-talk has been creeping in a little bit here and there over the last few days, but nothing like it used to be.

I have been taking a notebook with me everywhere I go and journaling throughout the day and/or writing random notes, even "to do" lists. I have been buying things, lots of things actually. But I'm not buying little random shit that I'll forget about in a day. I'm buying things I need (like an actual winter coat) and things that are more "self-care" than "retail therapy."

To anyone who thinks, "Wow. Way to rationalize/justify spending money on more stuff," after reading that last sentence: Fuck.You. I am worth the money I've spent in the last week.

I am more calm and rested than I've been in a really long time. Months? Years?

I repeat the following things to me when I find myself getting stressed or anxious about something:

I'm ok. I'm safe.

I am brave and can be strong. I will be ok.

I am loved.

I do not need to explain myself to anyone. Ever.

I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me and my choices. I don't care about things I have ZERO control over. Caring so much about everyone and everything else led me to the terrified place in the bathtub on Thursday morning.

I am not responsible for anyone or anything else. I am only responsible for me and my actions.

I am enough. I am deserve and am worthy of health, happiness, love, and all good things.

I forgive myself and set myself free.

There are probably more, but those are the most frequent ones.

On Tuesday night, I stood in the most beautiful hotel room in the most beautiful hotel I've ever been in. And I started to cry. I wasn't crying the same tears that I had the previous days. I wasn't crying because I was choking on a small sip of water. These were not tears from fear, loneliness, helplessness, and hopelessness.

These were tears of joy, hope, relief, and pride. I am ok. I will be ok. I'm still here. I'm not giving up.

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irishais · 2 years

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plague update: i am alive. god at what cost (the answer is overdrawing my account by accident bc the brain fog is so bad that i forgot about an expense on my list of expenses). i was put on paxlovid because my symptoms were so aggressive, and the side effects of pax are literally no joke-- awful metallic taste in my mouth for a solid six days, stomach cramps, nausea, and the potential to respike within a week after finishing it.

however, i was finally negative on two rapid tests earlier this week so was allowed to leave the house, but have to mask bc i still have a cough and i’m not a monster who likes breathing germs on other people. i got to go to my company picnic but literally just sitting around chatting to people (like i brought a chair to camp out in one spot instead of circulating with people) meant i nearly fell asleep driving home. i also forgot where i was this morning on my way back from the five-minute drive to the grocery store, so that’s really cool.

i am tired ALL THE TIME. i have an event next weekend bc i bought out my roommate’s spot at a local farmer’s market, and i’ve been trying to restock masks and scrunchies and stuff, but literally the effort of sitting down and sewing is overwhelming. i can’t DO anything for more than an hour at a stretch without needing to rest. i got tired just scrolling through my dash the other day.

like, idk how to explain to you that i am not an athletic and active person, but i could at least manage to do daily tasks and stay up past 7PM previous to having fucking covid. also i could drive routes that i drive every single day without forgetting where i am in the middle of it.

it still hurts to breathe occasionally, like i have spent two nights asleep in my recliner bc laying down in bed meant i couldn’t actually rest, i keep spiking a random fever every so often, and i want to rip out my vocal cords bc my throat is so hoarse from coughing. i still haven’t been able to watch the sandman because the dynamic camera angles set off some horrible vertigo every time i try.

i can’t fucking explain to everyone that i need you to get vaccinated, and get as many boosters as you legally are allowed to, because i am fully vaccinated and double-boostered and i am wrecked from this experience. everyone tells me that the exhaustion and the brain fog lingers for a hot minute afterward, so that’s something to look forward to.

i cannot imagine how much worse this would have been if i WEREN’T vaccinated and not prone to wearing a mask around large quantities of people.

#covid-19 #i am SO grateful my primary care doc is willing to prescribe things via the online portal #and that i have friends and a landlady and my mom who were willing to bring me groceries and medication #like if i lived by myself without friends and a job that let me work remotely last week??#i probably would have ended up in the hospital #nightmare sent from hell #like even breaking both of my fucking ankles was less traumatizing than being forced into isolation

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