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gurugirl · 10 months

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A Balancing Act | Ch. 2*

Series Summary: Harry is a famous, rich, handsome, pop star and he’s been in therapy since his boy band days. When he meets Y/n, a beautiful and successful artist, he cannot take no for an answer when it comes to her. He’s determined to make her his even if he has to bend the rules a little at first.

Chapter Summary: Y/n learns that Harry kissed another woman and decides to move on. Harry crashes Y/n's date to get her to change her mind. But then he makes a shocking discovery.

Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut (oral sex sort of), angst

Word Count: 9,739

Commissioned by @cinnamonone (thank you!! xoxo)

A Balancing Act Masterlist

Returning to LA after his tour in Latin America, Harry was sitting with Pat in his lovely house. Matcha tea was served and she started off by asking him how he was feeling emotionally lately. She tended to want to start off their sessions by letting him talk about his emotions and how he was dealing with his busy life, reserving the topic of relationships and love until toward the end. It gave her a good gauge of his overall well-being.

“I miss home. It’s always the hardest when I feel like I’m missing out on so much. Feels like I’m ignoring what’s really important in life and focusing too much on myself. Feels selfish. I know that no one thinks that. My mum is always telling me to not worry but it’s just hard. Especially because I’m closing in on 30 and just feels like I’ve just been playing around for all my life.”

“But this is your work. And you do work hard. You’re just lucky that you’re talented enough that you can delve into this kind of creativity and make a living from it. You’re putting more responsibility on yourself than is necessary. You’re on your own path, Harry. And while from the outside everything looks fun and glamorous, even you know the truth because you live it. It’s hard. So don’t discount yourself by feeling like you’re not doing enough. Your mom is okay. She can take care of herself. Gemma is okay too. She’s doing well. Your friends and all the people that matter in your life support you. Comparing yourself to the 9-5 worker isn’t going to do you any good. You’re a successful artist. An entrepreneur. Just imagine if you weren’t. You’d be in Manchester or London and working some mundane job. Sure you’d be around your family but you wouldn’t be thriving like you are now. I think you’d be miserable and if you’re miserable your family will feel that.”

Harry nodded, “Probably. I guess I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.”

“I can’t either. But it’s more about how you’re dealing with that guilt. I think as you’re getting older your priorities are shifting a little. And that’s okay. It’s good to welcome new awareness. Just be sure to not dwell on it because no one else is.”

Harry sniffed a laugh and smiled. Pat was right of course. He knew all of this. They’d been talking about his guilt a lot more recently and he recognized it was more because there were particular milestones that society set for people. And Harry had met many milestones but the basic ones like love, family, stability, children were all things he’d had yet to really achieve. Of course, he had a family but not his own, with a spouse and kids and a little house in town… but that wasn’t his to have yet. And the little house in town might wind up looking more like a bunch of houses in different parts of the world. He couldn’t deny he was lucky but he also couldn’t ignore that he felt like he’d been shirking his adult responsibilities.

“Okay. I can tell you need to say something. Want to move on from this subject?”

Harry grinned and repositioned himself to face more squarely toward Pat, “I met someone.”

“Oh? What does that mean?”

“I met her in Chicago. She was staying at the hotel I was in but she was there for an art show, she’s this really talented artist. But anyway… we just hit it off. We’ve been talking on the phone almost every night. I really like her.”

Pat nodded and placed her mug down, “That’s great. So, she stayed at the hotel you were in but how did you come to actually meet her?”

Harry described the scene at the bar and then how he invited her to his show the following evening, “I just… I don’t know. She’s not famous or anything but she acted like I was just a normal guy. And we really connected mentally and physically. She really seems to like all the things I like.”

“You mean, in bed? Or have you really gotten to know her on a deeper level?” She smirked and tilted her head. Harry was like this. He could connect with all kinds of people and it made his heart swell and lurch and then as fast as it filled up it all deflated just as quickly.

“Well, not just in bed. But yeah. We just clicked.”

“Look, I think that’s great. Just remember, you are okay as a single man too. Correct? You don’t need to be loved all the time. You are enough. You don’t have to fall in love and get married and have children to be a whole person. Society says you need that but you get to choose your path. But if you really like, this, uh… what’s her name?”

“Y/n. Even her name is pretty.”

“Y/n. Well, if you like her enough just take your time. Get to know her. Long distance is hard and phone calls are good but no substitute for face-to-face time. Do you think she’s as serious about this as you are?”

Harry shrugged and pursed his lips to the side, “I think so. I mean… we’ve talked about a lot and she’s told me so many things about herself. I guess I haven’t asked her to make it official, though.”

“Probably wise to wait to make it official. Jumping into a serious relationship could backfire as you well know. And there is the matter that you’re on the road so often. Did you see anyone else while you were away?”

Harry shook his head, “No. I actually really like Y/n. Didn’t want to do anything to fuck that up.”

Pat sighed, “You do realize you were supposedly spotted leaving a party with a woman people claimed you were kissing. Right? Just a couple of weeks ago. Which would have been after your Chicago shows.”

Harry groaned and nodded. He did know. His PR team told him about the supposed fan sighting and there was even a photo of him with a woman. Who he did kiss, but it wasn’t a kiss that meant anything. It was just a bit of fun and Harry had had a good amount of tequila. He honestly was just flirting and wanted to kiss the woman. But of course, when she wanted to take things further he declined because Y/n had been on his mind.

That was one thing about Harry. He was flirty and he’d kiss people he never intended on sleeping with. He kissed men and women and flirted all the time but usually, it was more friendly than sexual. Sometimes people got the wrong idea but that was just how Harry was. He loved getting close to people and touching. Loved hugs and kisses especially if he knew the person.

Even when he was with his last ex she’d gotten used to him kissing others and holding hands with someone else. But it wasn’t always very well received. Like the time she left one of the parties they were at early because she was tired and then he was filmed making out with a friend on a couch in front of people. He had a lot of explaining to do for that one. She forgave him but it hurt her. She cried. Harry felt bad that he’d done it. He loved how it felt to kiss someone and have them kiss him back, the zip of excitement and the tiniest bit of tension.

“Yes. I’m aware. I don’t know that she’s heard anything just yet. I think the photo only got published like yesterday or day before.”

“Well, it’s probably a good idea to talk to her about it before she sees the photo and reads the salacious headlines. That is if you’re interested in still seeing her.”

He nodded and looked down at his lap.

“Now, let’s talk about how you’re doing with all your new endeavors coming up. The timelines and the travel that will entail.”

. . .

Y/n was usually late with getting news or updates on celebrities. She spent a lot of her time painting during the day so unless she took a break and used her free time to peruse social media sites she might not realize things like the fact that the man she was beginning to develop feelings for had kissed another woman while he was away in another country.

Just as on this day. She was blissfully unaware of what he’d done as of yet. That is until Kat, her best friend, called in the middle of her glazing a painting she’d just completed.

She hadn’t told anyone about Harry except for Kat. Kat would keep her mouth shut about everything. Y/n knew she could trust her friend with her new secret. Not that Harry told her to not tell anyone but he did mention it would be better if very few people knew.

“Hello?” She spoke into the receiver as she capped the glaze and wiped her hands on her bibs.

“Hey babe. Did you see the link I sent you?”

“Uh… no. I’ve been working on a piece all morning.”

“Put me on speaker. Take a look.”

Y/n clicked the sound to the speaker and opened up her texts to see the link from Kat.

The moment the Daily Mail website came up with a blurry, dark photo of Harry standing very close to a woman she felt her heart drop.

Reading the caption of the article:

STYLES SPOTTED KISSING MYSTERY WOMAN IN COLOMBIA

“Are you seeing it?” Kat asked.

“Yeah. I am.”

The article mentioned him leaving with the woman after a party and Y/n put the phone back to her ear, not wanting to read more in that moment, “Thank you, Kat. I’m glad you showed me.”

“Of course. I mean… it’s Daily Mail so it might not be anything, but I just wanted you to have that info just in case. You know?”

Y/n nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, “Yeah. I know. I’m gonna go, though. I need to finish my canvas. But I’ll call you later, okay?”

Letting out a shaky breath she sat down so she could read the whole article, line by line. Obsess over the information and then google to find more websites and gossip pages, supposed first-hand accounts, unnamed sources talking about how he’s been seeing her for a while and he’s excited, other blurry photos of him at the party drinking…

She shook her head and stood up, locking her phone and putting it down on the table near the bottle of glaze. She looked over her canvas and figured she could take a break. It would be good for her to get out and take a walk. Clear her mind and figure out what she wanted to do.

Her walk resulted in her only dwelling on everything. He hadn’t called her in a couple of days but she knew he was traveling back to LA. She felt like he’d probably needed the rest from all the shows, the jetlag, time zone changes… but perhaps it was because he was seeing someone else now.

And that was certainly possible. They didn’t know one another all that well. She hadn’t even told him the whole story about her husband yet. About what had happened to him. And there had been no commitment made. They had sex in his hotel room. A few times. And it was really good. She felt they had a unique connection. Her feelings for him grew a little more quickly than was wise probably and the Facetime calls with all the revelations of things from their past and what they wanted in the future felt like she was talking to someone whom she could see herself with. He’d also given her his personal cellphone number which she knew was sort of a big deal.

But of course, that was ridiculous. This was Harry Styles and even if he did like her (which she was sure he liked her on some level) that didn’t mean they’d end up together. He could choose anyone. It certainly wouldn’t be her.

Later that night as she snacked on dill pickles and popcorn she fell into the hole of the search engine on her laptop.

The night Harry was supposedly seen with the woman was a night he hadn’t called her (she checked her call log). He didn’t call her every night, but it was still noted. Then she found another “source” saying Harry was happier than he’d ever been and that the Colombian woman was spotted in LA with him.

He hadn’t called her again that night either. Closing her laptop she figured it was over. She wouldn’t be calling him to find out what was going on. He didn’t owe her anything and it would look weird and stalkery to be asking him about the other woman. As if she had any claim on him.

Opening up her DMs on Instagram she decided to check back in on Dante. He’d messaged her all that time ago and she’d left him on read once Harry came into the picture. Maybe it was time to find someone closer to being in her own league.

. . .

Harry had a little time off and he caught up on much-needed sleep and getting back into a normal routine. He’d planned on calling Y/n that night. He’d been back in LA for a few days and felt like he was back in the right time zone finally. But he wondered why he hadn’t heard from her at all either. Normally she’d send off a little text during the day. A meme or something that would make him laugh. But it was silence from her for almost five whole days. Not that he’d reached out either but still…

He wondered what she was doing. It was a Saturday night and when he realized she was two hours ahead of him he figured he might as well give her a ring to see how she was. It was nearly 9pm her time already.

But the call went to voicemail so he left a message, a smile on his face, “Hey you… haven’t heard from you in a few days figured I’d give you a call to see what’s happening. I’ve been back in LA for a bit and I’m all caught up on rest. Give me a call back when you’ve time!”

She didn’t return his call that evening.

The following day Harry checked his messages and texts but he’d still gotten nothing from her and it was already midday (yes, he’d slept in quite late since he was up late writing a new song he couldn’t get out of his head). It was odd.

Shooting off a text message to her he suddenly had a feeling that perhaps she was avoiding him. Perhaps she’d seen the articles about him with someone else. He hoped that wouldn’t deter her from wanting to see him again. Hoped that she’d at least let him explain.

He needed to do something about it if that was the case. He couldn’t let her slip away without even having had the chance to see where it could go.

. . .

She heard the voicemail. In fact, she saw her phone light up with a notification that he was calling her in real time.

But she’d just messaged Dante and they had plans to meet up the following weekend. She’d been lucky that he hadn’t already come to town for the art exhibit. She thought she’d missed her chance when she messaged Dante back and apologized for not responding sooner. But he was polite as ever and they made plans to see one another.

So she was going to move on from Harry. There was unlikely anything good to come of it anyway. She had an amazing night with him and a handful of orgasms she could reminisce on but he was a world-famous pop star and he was single and surely he wanted to play the field for as long as he could. She understood it, but that didn’t make the situation feel any better. Therefore, the only way to get over him and to move on was to stop contact with him and get back out there.

Plus, now that she’d been with a man after her husband she felt like it was time to start dating again. It had been fun with Harry and she could have fun with others too. Maybe she’d sleep around a bit. See what that was like. Sow her wild oats. She’d gotten married so young and had little experience before him… Yeah, it was time to get out and date.

The following day she saw a text from Harry after leaving a meeting with someone who knew an art dealer.

Was just thinking of you. Missed hearing your voice. I’m back in LA now. Call me or text back.

She sat in her car and locked her phone, putting her head behind her on the headrest. What was he doing? She was kind of confused that he’d called her, left a voicemail, and then today had texted her. She really was trying to just move on. Figured he had too. But she was too curious not to call him. However, she’d keep him waiting until she was at home with a bottle of wine before she reached out. Maybe she’d hear him out. Maybe he wouldn’t bring up the other woman. She wouldn’t be bringing it up unless he did, but he had to know she’d heard about it. Right?

So, she took the long way to her house, stopping to pick up a bottle of wine and Chinese food before getting home.

She drew her curtains and took her clothes off, only wearing her panties and a tank top, and put her hair up in a messy bun on her head (like the real-deal messy buns, not those cute going-out-messy-on-purpose messy buns). Pouring herself a glass of wine and taking a big gulp she looked down at her cell phone as she sat on her couch and re-read his text.

For some reason she was nervous. She wasn’t sure how this conversation would play out but she wanted to find out what the result would be. This could possibly (most definitely) be the end for them. And she’d be okay with that if it were. Bummed, but fine. She still had her date with Dante to look forward to.

She dialed the number and put him on speaker as she leaned back into her couch and covered her face. She didn’t know if he’d pick up or not but she wanted to get this conversation out of the way.

“Hello!” Harry’s voice came over the speaker quickly. He sounded keyed up.

“Hi. It’s Y/n. You called and texted so I wanted to return your call.”

“Oh yeah… well, it’s been a few days. Was wondering how you were. So, yeah… How’ve you been?”

“I’m good. And you?”

Harry paused and noted the way she answered him in a clipped tone, cold. Not her normal friendly disposition.

“I’m well. Is… is everything all right?”

“Sure. Just doing my thing. Is everything all right with you?”

Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, “Yeah. Um… did you read something about me? Is that why you’re upset?”

Y/n laughed and took a sip of her wine. Here we go, she thought to herself.

“Do I sound upset to you, Harry?”

“You actually do. Yes. Look, if you’re pissed about the articles from when I was in Colombia, I just want you to know that all of that is blown out of proportion. Right? So-“

“Oh. Interesting So you’re saying you didn’t make out with a Colombian woman at a party in Bogota?” God, she hated to sound so jealous but he did bring it up first. She cringed as she let her hurt feelings surface, but it was too late to keep her cool like she intended.

Harry sighed loudly, “I just mean that’s all blown out of propor-“

“Yes, you said that. I’m asking if what is being said is true or not.”

“It didn’t mean anything, Y/n. I am a bit of a flirt and I kissed a woman but that was it! I swear. I thought of you the whole time-“

“It’s fine, Harry. You don’t owe me anything. Besides, I’m going on a date next weekend anyway. We’re free to see other people, right? And-“

“A date? Next weekend?”

She laughed, “Yes. A date. Next weekend. It’s not like you and I will get to see one another much anyway. If at all. So there’s no reason to drag this out. We had fun but it’s clearly not something we need to bother ourselves with.”

“Bother… what? I thought we really connected, Y/n. I’m confused. I really like you.”

“But how can you say that when you made out with someone else? I really like you too Harry but you’re seeing other people because you know as well as I do that this, whatever it is between us, was never serious. Right?”

“No. No that’s not true. And I didn’t make out with her! It was like a quick party kiss sort of thing. Damnit! I swear, Y/n. I’m sorry. I had a little too much tequila and I kissed her but I really was thinking about you and she wanted me to come with her to her room but I told her I was seeing someone and that was it! God, I fucked this up didn’t I?”

Y/n sat for a moment. She had to admit she was surprised by all of this. Surprised that he’d contacted her after she didn’t respond the first time, that he seemed upset about possibly having offended her or hurting her, and that he was acting like he really did like her. But she determined that it was best if they parted ways. She realized it would simply be too hard for this to work. And based on the way his fans obsessed over the Colombian woman and were already talking shit about her (when they didn’t even know who it was) she knew she was right. She had to put an end to it before she got her heart broken.

“There was never anything to fuck up, Harry. But, look… let’s be honest here okay? I’m just a regular gal. I’m not your type, not the type that would be able to deal with your fame and all your adoring fans. I had a lot of fun with you and I think you are absolutely amazing. I really do like you but I just can’t see this working. You know?”

Harry shook his head and tried to stay calm. He had to think. He had to make this work. And he needed to not freak out about the fact that she was going on a date. He hated to think of her with anyone else. And yes, he did kiss a woman, but it wasn’t the same thing! Not to him anyway.

“I think you’re wrong. I think it can work. Let me prove it to you. I’ll come see you. Cancel your date next weekend and let me take you out instead.”

Y/n blinked her eyes, taken aback. She was truly shocked that he wanted to see her again and that he wanted to make it work but still…

“Harry…” she sighed, “you can’t expect me to cancel my date. That’s really not fair to me.”

He knew she was right, “Okay. Sorry. I guess I’m overstepping. I just thought we really connected. I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

Pulling her lips into her mouth she sat her glass of wine down. She was looking forward to seeing him again too, until she learned about the kiss. Even if they weren’t serious and even if the kiss meant nothing to him it meant something to her, “Please don’t make this hard. I really did like you, Harry. But it’s obviously not going to work. And that’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay. I’m coming to see you. You don’t have to cancel your date. I’m not going to boss you around, but I’ll be flying to Chicago on Friday morning. I’m going to prove to you that we have something good here, Y/n. And if you still don’t see that after next weekend then I’ll back off.”

She couldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t beside herself with the idea that he wanted to put in so much effort to see her. And she certainly couldn’t stop him from going to Chicago and she wouldn’t. But she did feel like it was unlikely he’d actually show up.

“I mean… Jesus, Harry.” She shook her head and grinned, her heart pounding, “You’re crazy. I don’t understand why you want to do this. We had a night together-“

“It was more than just a night. Y/n, come on… you know as well as I do that it was more than just that. All the things we talked about on the phone all those nights. Did that mean nothing? I shared so many personal things with you and I know so many things about you too. But I want to know everything. All of you. I might be crazy but I can’t just give up.”

“We’ll see. And I can’t stop you from flying out here but I’m not going to make you any promises either.”

Harry was determined. More than ever. He knew it was special with Y/n. He knew she knew it too. The night he had her in his hotel room was maybe the hottest sex he’d ever had. And of course, hot sex doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re soul mates but the way they connected and were vulnerable with one another was not like anything he’d ever had. Then all their subsequent conversations and things they’d revealed about themselves? No. He wasn’t done and she wasn’t either. He felt it deep down that she wanted him to prove to her that he was serious.

Kissing that woman had been a mistake. And now he was going to prove to her that he was serious. That they could work.

. . .

She didn’t know why she told him where she was going to be on her date. She didn’t need to tell him. He could wait to see her until after. She told him as much at first when he called her the moment he landed.

“Where will you be with your date?” He spoke saying the word date like a dirty word.

“Harry… why do you need that information?”

“Because I’m just curious. Maybe I’m looking for restaurant suggestions.”

“I’m sure,” she rolled her eyes to herself, “If I tell you, you better not show up and ruin everything. I kind of like this guy, Harry.”

Harry’s heart fell into his stomach and the smirk on his face faded at that. She liked the guy? She was supposed to only like him.

“I won’t ruin anything. I promise.” He couldn’t actually make that promise. He wouldn’t be held accountable for the methods he used to convince her she was his. That she wanted to be with him only.

. . .

The steak house was a typical small-town restaurant that looked cutesy and had a few things on the outside of the building to let you know it was a restaurant but still came off as more of something that looked like a house.

The inside wasn’t much different. The entry into the restaurant started at the bar. Round high-top tables and tall stools scattered along the middle with dining tables with chairs of normal height lined the wall to the right. The bar with various bottles of neatly arranged, half-empty bottles of liquor along the left. Old wood floors, crown molding, high ceilings, an old dusty scent mixed with the smell of stale spilled beer (that smell just doesn’t come out after years of clumsy customers insisting on spilling their ales every night for the past 35 years), food cooking, and meat searing. Beyond the bar was the main dining room with more tables placed around the space and large windows that looked out onto a sizeable terrace with more tables under a large awning.

Harry let his gaze move around the room and walking past the bar he peeked into the main dining room to see if he could spot the woman of his dreams.

“Harry Styles!” A young lady shrieked and as he turned back he saw two other women walking toward him. He knew the look. They were starstruck and hoping for a chance to speak to him and get a photo.

Reluctantly he obliged. Signed a napkin, took a few pictures, and shook their hands with a smile on his face. It tended to be better to just be nice and give them something quickly instead of declining. Sometimes declining or saying he couldn’t resulted in more issues than it was worth.

Not spotting Y/n anywhere either inside or outside he asked the young man stood at the front if there was a reservation under Y/n’s name. He expected that her date would have put it under his name but on the off chance-

“Yes sir. Uh, that reservation for 2 people isn’t for another fifteen minutes. Are you the other party on the reservation?”

Harry grinned and nodded, “Why yes. I am.”

He followed behind the kid to a spot outside on the terrace and ordered a bottle of red wine. He knew he wouldn’t be able to drink the whole thing but figured that once Y/n arrived with her date they could finish it off. He knew that what he was doing was taking it a little too far (maybe a lot too far) but he wanted to properly greet her and get a good look at this date. He’d get up and let them take their seats and then he’d pay the bill of course as an apology for the inconvenience.

Before he’d finished his glass of wine his sight landed on the entry to the terrace where Y/n, a tall man with dark hair (presumably her date), and the young host who seated Harry were walking toward him. There she was. She’d really dressed up too. The low plunge of her dress and the way it hit her hips were mouthwatering. He stood up quickly as he continued to watch her in awe. Her pretty face was set in an unamused frown, “What are you doing Harry?”

Shrugging his shoulders he looked to the guy next to her. He was Harry’s height. Taller even. Annoyingly good-looking in an older, sophisticated yet unbothered kind of way, “I’m Harry,” he jutted his hand out to shake.

The date looked at Y/n and then back to Harry with his hand taking Harry’s in a firm shake, “Yeah, I know who you are. Harry Styles… But why are you sitting at our table?” He asked with a laugh. So she hadn’t told her date about him. Pity.

“Oh, I was just having a sit, drinking a little wine. But I’ll be on my way. Just wanted to make sure my lovely friend here made it safely. Oh! And please! Enjoy the rest of the wine. And I’ve already told them that the tab is on me. So get whatever you like. Go wild.”

The look of anger on Y/n’s face should have deterred Harry from speaking further, but he couldn’t help himself, “And you look… wow. Incredible. You’re stunning, Y/n,” he looked over her frame and then back to her face, “I’ll call you later,” he winked as he turned and sauntered away just as casually as he had mentioned he was paying their bill. As if it were all just a normal occurrence.

Y/n watched the handsome pop star walk away before turning to Dante, “Sorry about that. He was just trying to be funny. Just a friend,” she reassured.

Though, Dante didn’t seem wary of him at all. He was clueless as to what had just happened, “You know Harry Styles?!”

Sitting down and pushing Harry’s nearly empty glass of cabernet to the edge of the table she nodded, “Yeah. Met him a couple of months ago when he was in Chicago for a concert, and I was there for an art show. Just luck.”

She left out the part where he had her in his posh hotel suite one evening and they spent the whole night fucking and talking and laughing. Connecting. And then again in the morning until she had to leave.

Y/n wasn’t sure how to feel about Harry’s little stunt. He seemed like such a genuinely sweet guy that what had just happened felt a little out of character. Though she got some glimpses of his pushy, dominant side in bed, she hadn’t seen any of that persona transfer outside of the bedroom. Not when he first introduced himself, and not in any of their conversations on the phone… But she guessed perhaps there was a part of him that would come out in this way. And she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it all deep down.

But still. The nerve of him to sit at the table she and her date would be sharing and drink wine while he waited for them. To look at her the way he had, his eyes blatantly following her shape down to her hips and back up again with that grin… The compliment. And then to have their bill paid for? It was a power move. He was trying to assert dominance over Dante in some way. Even though Dante was annoyingly clueless somehow. She thought for sure he’d be livid about it but he wasn’t.

Dante was a little too nice she decided.

And it’s not like Y/n thought her date should be upset. She didn’t want two men fighting over her or anything. But the part of her that kind of liked what Harry had done, liked that he was trying to stake a claim or send a message- wanted to see what Dante had in him. Wanted maybe just a tiny bit to see him jealous or even insist on paying despite the fact that Harry said he would. Dante didn’t seem threatened at all. She shook her head of those thoughts. How silly for Y/n to even think that he should feel that way. Of course not!

And she couldn’t stop thinking about how good he looked in his suit and his thick dark hair with soft curls as she and her date neared the table he was casually sitting at. The handsome smug look on his face as he watched them. And she tried to refocus and listen as Dante was talking about his recent gallery show but she was now stuck thinking about the night she and the famous man shared together. That was probably part of what he intended as well, showing up like he did. To set the tone for the entire date. He knew what he was doing. And it had worked.

“Excuse me. I need to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

She took a deep breath as she walked into the restaurant and followed the hanging wooden signs that pointed toward the little hallway where the two bathrooms were. A single toilet room each for women and men.

Flicking the light on and clicking the lock she leaned into the door and closed her eyes. She had to give herself a pep talk.

“You’re here with a perfectly nice and handsome man. Same interests, a level head, funny, humble…” and Dante was all those things. But something was missing. Something was holding her back from truly enjoying his company. And she knew just what it was. It was because he wasn’t Harry. And even if Harry hadn’t made his surprise appearance to discombobulate her completely, interrupting her date, she would have still felt the same.

Just as she pushed herself off the door there was a knock, “Sorry! Be right out!”

Y/n washed her hands and dried them before opening the door. But in a shocking split-second, she was met with the handsome smile of the man she couldn’t stop thinking about as he walked into the bathroom, causing her to step herself backward. Harry closed the door and clicked the lock.

“Harry! What are you doing?!”

Harry smirked and leaned his back into the door, “How’s the date going?”

Crossing her arms over her chest she tried to feign annoyance but she was working hard to hide her own grin, “It’s fine. I like Dante. Why are you still here?”

“I figured I’d see if you were free after. I brought some things with me that I think you might enjoy.”

She paused. He brought some things? What did that mean?

“I can’t believe I told you where my date was,” she shook her head and sighed.

“I’m sure you did it because you hoped for this very outcome.”

“Oh come on, Harry. I actually didn’t think you’d even come here this weekend, to be honest.”

Harry stitched his brows together and pushed himself off the door, taking two long-legged strides toward her, and brought his hands up to her face, “Well I am here. And I want you, Y/n. I don’t care that you’re on a fucking date. That should be me sitting out there getting to take you out,” he jabbed a finger in the air toward the door before returning his palm to her cheek.

Her blood pumped quickly through her veins and her head felt fluttery and light as she watched his mouth and then looked at his eyes as he spoke. His hair was fluffy and soft and his hands on her face felt gentle but she knew what they could do. All the very opposite things of gentle that had awakened some kind of indulgent new requirement. She wanted to put up a good fight. Make him work harder. Make him beg a little even. He’d kissed another woman! For god’s sake, she should make him grovel. But he was there. With her. Looking at her like he did that last morning they were together when they were making plans to keep contact until they could see one another again.

She didn’t know how to respond. If she were responding candidly, she’d tell him that yeah, it should be him out there treating her to dinner and not Dante. That she hadn’t been able to get him off her mind and last night, even though she had this date lined up, it was Harry’s image that she orgasmed to when she masturbated. In fact, it had only been Harry she got off to since she’d had that night with him nearly two months ago.

Harry tilted his head and spoke softly, “Please, Y/n. Do you want me to get on my knees? Beg? Or,” a small devious smirk quirked up on his lips as he licked them and ducked in to speak into her ear, his body pressed into hers, “maybe you want this. You like the chase, don’t you? Is that what you want? Trying to play hardball with me, sweet girl?”

She was a goner the moment his lips brushed over the shell of her ear and he brought his hands down from her face to her hips and pulled her in close. A small warm peck to her lobe, “What is it that you want me to do? I’ll do it.”

Y/n drew her hands up his back to his broad shoulders and moaned as she stretched her neck for him, “You shouldn’t be here. I’m in the middle of a date.”

And despite her words, Harry seemed to figure out what it was she needed and he dragged his mouth down to her jaw and then attached his lips to her neck and lightly peppered kisses and warm licks down the sensitive skin until he lowered enough that he’d made it to her clavicle, drawing a needy little gasp from her lips.

He backed away to look down at her and she had her lips parted and eyes closed, which made him smile.

She was his.

“And this dress,” he smoothed his hands down from her hips to the bottom hem of the material that landed just above her knee. He pulled the fabric upward, his warm fingers sliding up and under the stretchy cloth until he met her inner thighs, squeezed together, “Why did you do this? Wearing this for him? Baby this dress should only be for me.”

Her breaths deepened and her body grew hot with his hands on her. This was such a bad idea but she didn’t have it in her to stop him. She wanted him. When she opened her eyes and looked at Harry she licked her lips before speaking, “I hoped you’d see it. But I didn’t really think you’d come.”

Harry’s palms splayed against her thighs and continued to push the material up as he smiled at her with a cocky grin, “Wanted me to see it. So you wanted me to be jealous. To see you wearing this slutty thing on a date with another man while I watched. Suppose I deserve that. But you know you’re leaving here with me. Yeah? That’s what you wanted. Gonna show you what you deserve for teasing like this.”

Y/n let out a small whimper when he pushed her legs apart and kept his eyes on hers. His light green eyes were slowly disappearing under his dark pupils. His lids were droopy, and his lips parted as he finally moved his face to hers and nudged at her nose with his before putting her out of her misery and kissing her in a hot, desperate embrace.

She tried to resist but she’d already been a goner and the way he kissed her melted her senses and stamped out her resolve.

She was his.

Harry’s hands continued their path upward and she knew what he was doing, as far gone and mushy as her brain was, she understood his intentions. So she parted her thighs more for his access and Harry panted against her lips, “You want me to touch? Need a little something before you go back out there on your date?”

She nodded after faltering for a second. Her date… She wasn’t sure she could face him after this. She only knew she wanted Harry.

He pushed his fingers over her silky panties and grinned as he continued kissing her, her back pressed into the wall, “Fuck, baby girl. You need Daddy don’t you?”

She groaned and popped her eyes open, nodding the tiniest bit as she watched him use his hand on her, rubbing over her cloth-covered clit. Harry hissed and looked at her with sultry eyes, “Soaked for me, baby. You don’t want to go back out there to him. You need to be taken care of. Can you wait til we get back to your place or do you need it now?”

Harry was serious. He was going to leave with Y/n. Dante would be fine. His check was covered after all.

Y/n let out a shaky breath. Here or at hers? Her place was half an hour away and she was already vibrating with desire. Harry’s words and soft touches and his presence somehow pulled from her a need that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. One that she was certain Dante couldn’t affect.

“This is crazy,” she breathed out.

Harry pushed his mouth to hers and moved his fingers down to the drenched crotch of her panties pushing them to the side and he keened at the feel of how slick she was under the pads of his fingers.

“Remember how good it was, Y/n? How you moaned and came over and over again? The way you took me when I fucked you.”

Harry was hard as rock in his trousers. This woman was doing things to him. He hadn’t been so determined about anyone in a very long time.

“Yes,” she whispered when he stroked up and down through her labia and then pressed into the hood of her clit.

“And how good we are together. We work, Y/n. This works. I know you know it.”

He plunged two fingers inside as he kissed her mouth. She opened her legs further for him and rocked her hips forward into his hand.

Y/n realized suddenly where they were and what they were doing when a knock sounded on the door, “Let’s go. I need to tell Dante that I’m leaving first.”

Harry was directed to stay outside at the front of the restaurant while Y/n went to the terrace and broke the news to Dante. She felt awful. She really did. Dante was nice. He was attractive. But he wasn’t her type in the end and she was slick between her thighs as she sat down and winced at the feel. The empty ache. She was flushed and her panties were chilled against her skin where it was wet, a result of just having been fingered in the bathroom. But her body was guiding her. She was aching and wanted Harry in her bedroom. Wanted Harry inside of her again.

It was probably a mistake. She’d probably regret this but she only knew one thing. And that was that Dante would never have a chance. Not when she was fantasizing about Harry on a date with him. That wasn’t fair to him, to string him along. So she justified that it was better this way.

. . .

Y/n had fully expected that Harry would have a driver or something. But to her surprise, he rented a car. A really nice car. A Mercedes Benz wagon.

She did kind of wish he had a driver, though, so they could sit in the back and that there was one of those partitions that separated them from view. But as it was, she was sitting in the passenger side as Harry drove her to her house.

It was kind of wild to her that Harry Styles was driving her to her house and that once there, in her small residential bungalow, they’d probably wind up having sex. Certainly, they’d wind up having sex.

“I’m sorry I did it this way,” Harry paused with a smirk on his face, “but not that sorry. Worked out in my favor.”

Y/n breathed out a laugh and shook her head, “Yeah, I guess you got your way. I imagine you’re used to that.”

“Heey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“It just means you’re probably not used to not getting exactly what you want.”

Harry nodded shallowly as he kept his eyes on the road in silence. He was just happy it had worked. He wasn’t sure it would. And yes, he was used to getting what he wanted but he didn’t expect to get everything he wanted. Not all the time anyway.

“My place is pretty small. Two bedrooms. One bathroom. A small backyard. So don’t judge, okay?” She was mostly teasing, feeling quite nervous about what was soon to happen. The state of her home was actually the last thing on her mind.

“Don’t be nervous, love. We’re going to have a great time together.”

Y/n gulped the saliva in her throat and looked ahead toward the road. She knew they’d have a great time together if their last time together was any indicator. In fact, she imagined it might be even better. He was visiting for three days and she had nothing to do other than finish the canvas she’d been working on for the past week. So they’d have a lot of time. To explore and to play. To talk.

She recalled a conversation they had one night over the phone when Harry brought up her pretty, plump bottom, his words still making her blush having never enjoyed anyone calling her plump in any way. But somehow, when Harry said it, it felt sexy. He made her feel sexy. Her curves and her extra bits, her tummy and ass and arms and thighs… they only spent the one night together but he made her feel as if all of her was beautiful.

“Such a pretty, plump bottom like yours… and you’ve never had anal sex before, or anything? My finger was the first to poke inside?” He spoke his words with a smile.

She was already lying down in bed and gently rubbing herself to the sound of his voice and he’d been heavily flirting and suggesting what they’d do together the next time they saw one another.

“No. Have never done anything back there,” she laughed breathily.

“We can change that. I can start by licking your pussy and your ass until you’re so wet and creamy that I can just slip my finger inside your little hole and get you ready for more.”

She moaned lightly at the idea.

He continued, “And once you’re shaking and begging to come I’ll slowly fill you up with my cock so you can finally experience what it’s like.”

Y/n laughed and paused her fingers, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Harry groaned and panted (he was also touching himself), “Oh I would be in heaven to have you any way you wanted. But to be able to be your first experience with that would be amazing. But the question is, Y/n, would you like that?”

She squirmed in the soft black leather seats just thinking about it. She wasn’t sure if he’d want to go that route or not but she figured if he got her loosened up and drippy she probably would very much want that. She felt like he’d make it good. She knew he’d make it good.

Harry noticed the way she shifted and wondered if she was still on edge. He imagined her panties were a mess after what happened in the bathroom. He would have loved to have fucked her then and there but she asked to leave. And he could wait a little longer, though his cock was aching and pushing against the front of his trousers painfully.

Y/n was trying not to eye his crotch. He clearly had an erection. Still. And she knew he was nice and thick and long. Just remembering the way he looked had her thighs clenching together. Yes, she was still very wet in her panties, and knowing that soon he’d be using that thing on her gave her an idea.

She reached her hand over and put her palm on his upper thigh over his pants and Harry quickly glanced down before putting his eyes back on the road. He swallowed thickly. He liked where this was going.

“Gonna help me out a little?”

Y/n smirked and looked up at him as she unbuckled her seatbelt, “Do you want me to?”

Harry scoffed and shot his eyes at her quickly, “Is that a serious question?”

Biting her lip she positioned herself to lean over the leather console and began to undo the leather belt he had on. Harry adjusted his seating and pressed the seat back button to lean back a little to give her more room as she unbuttoned his pants. He parted his lips and let out a labored breath when he felt her palm over him.

He was so warm under her hand, even with the material of his pants covering him. She continued working on opening his pants up when the seatbelt warning dinged.

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes but she continued, not worried at all about the sound. She wanted to pull him out and play with him a little bit.

The road to her house from the restaurant was mostly along a small highway with no stoplights and very little traffic. Which she liked so she could have him out in her hand and no one would pull up next to them and catch a glimpse of what they were doing. Not to mention it was Harry Styles in the car, that would surely get some attention.

When she finally dragged his underwear down enough that she could grasp around him he moaned softly. She loved how he felt in her hand, the way he looked. She pulled from the base of his shaft upward, rolling his foreskin over his frenulum and back down. He was hard and his tip was pink and pretty like his lips.

The ding of the seatbelt warning chimed again as she leaned further over and moved her lips to right above his erect cock. Harry moved his arm away to give her space, before putting his hand on the back of her head. Her hair fell over the exposed skin at the base of his cock before he felt her lick gently over his slit and stroked him slowly as Harry drove down the road toward her home.

It was difficult to put him into her mouth with the console in between them but she had been able to put his tip in past her lips and lick all around him, lapping at his precome as she continued moving her hand in gentle strokes at his shaft.

Harry was panting shallowly and his stomach muscles were contracting. It felt so good to have her mouth and her hand on him. He wished he could look down to see her sucking him off but he had to keep an eye on the road, and with her seatbelt undone (thanks to the reminder every two minutes from the warning chime) he didn’t want to chance anything.

Y/n moaned around his slit and Harry choked out his words, “Fuck, baby. We’re almost there. Gonna give it to you so good when we get to your place.”

And she knew he would too. She wasn’t very experienced. She’d slept with two men before she got married but of all the men who’d fucked her, Harry was far and away the best at it.

Harry pulled into her small driveway, directly behind her Toyota Camry. Tucking himself back into his pants as she adjusted her dress before getting out of his car and plucking her keys from her purse.

“Did he pick you up here at your house?” He pointed toward her car in the driveway. He deduced that if her vehicle was there the date must have come to her home to pick her up.

Y/n paused and it took her a moment to understand what he meant but the realization dawned on her, “Yes. He did.”

Harry nodded, “So he knows where you live? Did you invite him in?”

Sighing she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Was he really doing this now? “Yes. He came in, stood in the doorway, and looked around while I grabbed my purse. That was it.”

Harry was standing over her with a small frown, “Were you planning on sleeping with him? After the dinner?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. What is this, Harry?” She pulled her arms upward before dropping them at her sides in frustration, the keys to her house jangling as she did so.

Putting his hands on her upper arms he slowly rubbed upward, “This is just me wondering what you were up to is all. It’s a good thing I got there in time to stop anything from happening.”

A scoff fell from her lips as she looked up at him, stunned, “No. This is you being jealous.”

Harry shook his head with a cocky grin and brought his left hand up to her neck and pulled her into his chest, “I’d be jealous if you left with him. But he’s nowhere to be seen now is he?”

She felt the small squeeze on her neck as he pushed her bottom gently to the front of his car, his hips connected to hers so she could feel him, “S’just you and me here, though. Isn’t it? You’re wet for me. Not for him,” his soft, warm mouth was suddenly pasted over her jaw and she gasped. It was hard for her head to fight its way out of the labyrinth of mush that he seemed to be so good at leading her into. But he knew that. He loved the way she responded to him.

Harry chuckled, his laugh vibrating off her neck as he tenderly kissed the edge of her parted lips before backing away and grasping her hand to pull her to her front door, “Let’s get inside then. Can’t fuck you out here on the hood of the car for all to see can I?”

Everything was rushed and desperate in her brain. She was shaky putting her key into her door to unlock with Harry right behind her, his hands at her hips, his lips on her neck.

The moment the door was closed and locked Harry pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. It was hot and frantic. They were both on edge and very much in need of release. Together. Even though he acted as if he had it totally together and he was in charge, he was feeling desperate too with the way his tip was leaky and his cock throbbed in his pants.

“It’s this way,” she panted breathlessly as she pulled his hand to bring him toward her bedroom.

But Harry paused when he saw a large, framed photo hung on the wall. It was of Y/n with a man. Kissing a man. She was wearing a beautiful wedding dress and the man was in a tuxedo with the backdrop of a lovely garden and flowers all around.

“Is… this you?”

Y/n was halted when she whipped her head to look at what he’d seen. She realized instantly what he meant.

“Um. Yes.”

“Are you… married?”

Y/n sighed and let go of Harry’s hand.

Talk about a mood killer.

Chapter 3

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hollowed-theory-hall · 16 days

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what would tom riddle's patronus?

Okay, it took me some time to answer this ask since I needed to spend some time thinking. I didn't really have an answer in mind until your question. It's just something I apparently never thought about. So I was interested in finding the most canon-adjacent answer I can for if Tom Riddle/Voldemort could cast a patronus, what would it be.

So, my approach to finding the right animal was based on a few factors, the first of which:

How exactly is the form your Patronus takes determined?

Because we don't actually get a straight answer in the books. We know Patroni can change with a person, but we don't exactly get an answer on what their form represents and why some couples have matching Patroni.

Basically, I don't know what you expected, Anon, but what you're getting is some rambling about the magical theory behind the Patronus charm followed by why that means Tom gets a certain animal over another.

So, let's start with the basics, the incantation:

"Expecto Patronum"

This is in Latin and literally translates to: "I await/expect a defender"

And Remus Lupin explains what the Patronus charm is as:

“Well, when it works correctly, it conjures up a Patronus,” said Lupin, “which is a kind of anti-dementor — a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the dementor.” ... “The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive — but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementors can’t hurt it. But I must warn you, Harry, that the charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it.”

(POA, page 237)

We also know the patronus is cast by thinking of a happy memory — well, not really. The memory isn't really important; the emotion is. The memory is to help you have the right happy feelings that can fuel a Patronus. "You got to mean it" just like with an unforgivable.

So, what does it tell us about the Patronus:

We have a defender made out of happiness, literally.

This already sounds like something Tom Riddle would struggle with. I don't really see canon Tom Riddle/Voldemort being capable of producing one, but let's assume he can in some hypothetical AU. Let's take a look at a few patroni to see how their form is chosen and why.

Obviously, we have Harry's (and James') stag. A stag symbolizes many things in different cultures, but deer (both Stags and Does, like Lily and Snape) in general symbolize:

The cycle of life and death

Agility and grace

Bravery

Nobility

All this fits the Potters quite well. The nobility and bravery of Gryffindor and the cycle between life and death. Stags actually represent regeneration, as in a return from death, which fits with the Potters' connection to the Paverells and death perfectly.

Stags also symbolize authority, strength, leadership, and fatherhood, while does symbolize femininity, grace, intuition, and devotion. All in all, both animals fit James and Lily well. And while the stag does fit Harry (to a degree), I don't think his Patronus represents him.

I think Harry's patronus is a stag because James' patronus was a stag. Harry was actually convinced his father cast the Patronus when he first saw it in POA. And it makes sense.

I don't remember where I saw this theory, but it essentially was that your patrons would represent a person or an idea that you feel will defend you. It's why certain couples have matching Patroni, why a Patronus can change when you or your feelings about people change.

And Harry, when he casts his Patronus, the idea of his father who he never knew but would have protected him is the idea represented in Harry's Patronus. It's a stag like James' not because Harry and James are so similar (they have very different personalities actually) but because Harry's Patronus is James. It's a stag because James was a stag, and Harry is calling the concept of his father to defend him.

Following this logic, Lily's Patronus is a doe, because she is the doe. Lily's defender is herself. Courageous, noble, graceful and devoted. Lily's devotion to her son is what literally sets the series into motion. The reason she and James match is that they always have. He was always represented by the stag and she was always represented by the doe. Their Patroni aren't matching because of their relationship with each other, but because they are so compatible their Patroni matched from the get-go.

Snape's Patronus is a doe because of Lily. Lily is represented by the doe. As she was Snape's first friend and defender, whenever he calls for a protector, it's Lily.

Let's look at a few other Patroni, like Hermione's otter:

Playfulness

Joy

Family and close-knit friendships

Loyalty

All of this doesn't really sound like Hermione. Ron's Jack Russell Terrier on the other hand:

Loyalty

Courage

Playfulness

Cleverness

Protectiveness

Tanasity

Does sound very in line with who Ron is.

But then who does Hermione's otter represent? Well, an otter is from the weasel family and the list of characteristics looks closer to Ron's list of traits than Hermione's. I think Hermione's otter represents Ron who did step in to defend her since the troll incident in their first year multiple times.

So, where does that leave Tom Riddle?

Well, we established the Patronus becomes your defender, and in Tom's case, it'll be himself. Tom is distrustful and sees himself as more capable than anyone else. Not to mention he never had a real connection or person in his life he could call upon to defend him. So, whatever animal his Patronus is would represent himself as his own defender.

So, which animal represents Tom best?

The first animal I thought of, is of course: the serpent. Snakes are heavily associated with Tom (for obvious reasons) and is an animal we know he has a soft spot for. When looking at what snakes represent, you can see why he is associated with them:

Deceit

Transformation

Power

Regeneration and rebirth (shedding their skin)

Healing (Cadcadeus)

For the most part, the list seems to fit him well. Specifically their association with rebirth and the cycle of life and death by shedding their skin. Deceit and power are also right up Tom's alley. And even transformation considering he rewrote his entire identity to become Voldemort.

But, just "snake" wasn't good enough for me, I wanted to know which kind. And as I wanted his Patronus to be as rare as Harry's stag, I went to the list of official Pottermore possible Patroni to find a snake that is as hard to get in the test as the stag while not being magical.

(Magical Patroni are incredibly rare and to have yourself represented by a magical creature in your Patronus you need to be incredibly unique or incredibly full of yourself. At least, that's how I see it)

And low and behold, there was one on the aforementioned list:

The King Cobra

So I looked up if this snake has any interesting additional unique symbolism that would fit Tom. And, well, there was:

Authority and Leadership

Aggression and Fearlessness

Destruction and Creation

Intelligence and Cunning

Which all in all sounds fitting for Tom Riddle.

I also continued reading and apparently, snakes are associated with lightning by some Native American tribes. And when I saw that I was sold on the idea. Considering how the killing curse is represented by lightning (Harry's scar and the lightning-struck tower being the name of the chapter Dumbledore dies in). It feels appropriate with Tom's connection with snakes.

The King Cobra is actually not really a Cobra and is considered a unique breed of snake, which Tom would approve of. It's also the longest venomous snake and its venom can result in a rapid fatality, as soon as 30 minutes following a bite. It's also a cannibal snake that eats other snakes, including its own kind.

Overall it just fits perfectly, both in traits, symbolism, and how rare and dangerous it is. So, for your question, I think Tom Riddle's Patronus, if he could cast one, would be a King Cobra.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #hp #hp thoughts #lord voldemort #hollowedheadcanon #voldemort analysis #voldemort #tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #patronus #patronus charm #hp headcanon #anon asks #asks #anonymous

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lacewise · 3 months

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Hey. I’m still seeing near daily hate speech on my timeline, especially to Jewish and Israeli people (minding their own business!!!). Stop it. Get over yourselves. People other than you also have a right to live.

Hate speech, bigotry, and threats are never acceptable behaviour. There should especially never be a time when intersectionally marginalized people don’t feel safe in communities meant for them on the basis of one of their other identities. I thought we went over this. That includes Jewish people. That includes, explicitly, every group that you think “deserves” it, because discrimination against them is “for a reason” (the only reason is discrimination). If it doesn’t, you have biases you need to unpack and grapple with… yourself. A good start is a lot of listening to Jewish people who explain how it’s discriminatory (which they shouldn’t have to do). No arguing. Just listening.

I’ve seen this about Black people, I’ve seen this about Romani people, I’ve seen this about Muslim people, I’ve seen this about Latine people, I’ve seen this about trans men, non-binary people, ace people, aro people, he/him lesbians—and I could go on. Right now, most often, I’m seeing it about Jewish and Israeli people (which are not interchangeable groups). It needs to stop. It needs to never have begun. You need to deal with this, now.

Unfortunately, I think I need to include some examples of antisemitism: sending Jewish people unfounded conspiracy theories and allegations is harassment. That includes using tags meant for in-Jewish community use.

Spreading the unfounded conspiracy theories because they “sound like” what you think about Jewish people is antisemitic discrimination.

Making Jewish people “prove” to you they have the “right opinions” before you’ll let them into spaces they have a right to access is antisemitic discrimination. Which you’d think a group of people who just learned collective punishment is bad would know.

Saying things like, (and I really hate quoting discriminatory language, so I won’t forgive anyone who made this necessary) “But so-and-so is Jewish” or “Did you know so-and-so is… Jewish…?” is monstrous. It’s antisemitic discrimination, and it’s pretty actively trying to cause harassment campaigns (or worse) against specific Jewish individuals. If you see that, you need to report and block whoever is doing it. I really don’t care what the current euphemism they’re using for Jewish people is, euphemisms have a history in discriminatory practices going back hundreds of years.

Trying to dox Israeli people, trying to mass report them off the internet, telling them to “Go back to their country” (really?), are all active and organized harassment campaigns I have witnessed. Which, after October 7th, strikes me as both violent threats and a support for terrorist attacks.

Some of you were platforming people who are clearly calling for progroms for months and then demanding to know why any Jewish person deserves to live in Israel.

This cannot keep happening. This cannot happen.

Don’t harass Jewish people. Don’t harass Israeli people, especially using antisemitic conspiracy theories. Not every Israeli person is Jewish, and every Israeli person cannot be constantly and individually held responsible for the failures and violence of the Israeli government. If people are committing crimes, you need to focus on the individuals and groups directly and provably responsible, and the government itself. And you still shouldn’t engage in hate speech or harassment campaigns. I shouldn’t have to debunk multiple conspiracy theories at once to say, “Don’t harass Israeli citizens.” You just… shouldn’t be doing it.

Don’t spread hate speech. Don’t engage in hate speech. Don’t engage in harassment campaigns. Don’t justify or defend other people doing it.

#off topic #not fiber arts #this is a daily thing!!!#it should not be happening AT ALL #I just… who raised you and why do they sound like Nazis #I just want to make pretty fabric!!!#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #discrimination #harassment

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waterrywaterryy · 9 months

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Ok but let's talk seriously for a moment

Good Omens is my safe space for so many reasons.

In this fucked up world, with so many problems, sexism, racism, queerphobia, ableism among SO MANY OTHERS, this series feel like a fresh spoon of your favorite ice cream in a mortifying hot day during a breakdown.

It feels so close and welcoming.

The warmness and coziness is insane.

As a queer Latine I feel so embraced by it. Loved.

I just know that, if the show was a person, they would hug me and tell me that I am loved, no matter what.

I know it sounds kinda weird but I cannot express how this show makes me feel.

The casting is amazing, the whole crew is so lovable.

I feel the need to thank Terry and Neil from the bottom of my heart for creating something like this, and also the rest of the crew, for making this possible.

It makes me feel a little bit of hope that, maybe one day, we can be queer, disabled, from different ethnicities, different body shapes and skin colors, neurodivergent, and just straight up, diverse, and to be free despite all that.

Thank you for giving me hope

Thank you for making me feel safe, and probably not just me, but the thousands of people that have been reunited by this work of art.

Thank you really much.

I am glad this exists.

#Good Omens #Thank you Terry and Neil

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lyralit · 4 months

Text

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

#lyralit #writerblr #blog post #creative writing #writblr #writing prompts #writing ideas #writers block #writing #writers #mental health #taking breaks

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its-pluto2 · 1 year

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A lot of people like to say radical feminists are white women and therefore white supremac*sts and whatnot. Have you not noticed that a lot of radical feminists aren't even white?

We're Mexican. We're Latin American. We're from India, from the Middle East, from Asia. We're from places where it is life and death to be a woman. Where we're targeted as criminals for protesting the injustice we live every day, where one late night might mean we won't return home, where our sex means a difference in how we're treated all our life in every aspect of it. Jobs, socializing, studies. Everything.

Take a look at Iran. At Mexico. At Korea. Do some research before you throw around words like white supremac*st and n*zi around like they mean nothing when you're talking about radical feminists, the women fighting and putting their lives on the line to stop all of this horrible, terrifying violence against us. Literally, google any of these countries next to the word "femicide" and open your eyes a little to the harsh truth (and I must warn you, if you do this, the results will be upsetting).

You guys like to tag radical feminism as this horrible trend that oppresses other movements when in reality, it's a handful of new, "progressive", "liberal" movements that are trying to demerit and oppress feminism and feminists, whether they're aware of it or not.

If your movement has to take away women's rights, you need to revise what it is you're fighting for and how you're doing it.

I am a radical feminist because I am tired of living in fear. I am tired of hearing in the news of another woman whose life was brutally ended simply because she was a woman.

We're not dying out here, we're being murdered. We're being discriminated, we're being denied safety and body autonomy and the right to choose over what happens to our bodies, we're unable to earn the same as a man for doing the same job, we're unable to express a strong character without being called manipulative or hysterical. We have so. much. bullshit to deal with simply because we are women.

And you still think our sole purpose is to target some random movement and some set of pronouns? No, honey, feminists, real feminists, have our priorities very clear.

What we don't like is that now, we have to be reduced to our organs and that we can't even freely call ourselves women because some people will be offended even by that. I cannot fathom how some people still don't realize the slap in the face that is calling women "uterus-havers" just to coddle other people. Use what pronouns you want, but don't take away women's right to call ourselves women - how absurd is that?! I can't call myself a women to not offend certain people!

Are you really telling me that, on top of having to deal with all of the risks that being a woman implies in my life, I have to not call myself a woman and instead use some odd, progressive term just so I don't offend you?

No. Enough is enough.

Women do not deserve to be silenced, on the verge of the year 2023, because other people with very specific needs and wants, want to be coddled by us. Fight for your rights, by all means, but don't try to take away ours just so you can feel better.

Get a grip on what feminism is, what it stands for, and understand that radical feminism only exists because movement after movement tries to crush everything we've fought for and everything we've achieved.

And, if you're a woman and claim to be libfem, or claim to hate feminism, or claim that feminism doesn't represent you, think again. You're only able to have access to a computer or a mobile platform to express your opinion, wear pants, and have access to basic education, among countless other privileges you take for granted, because of feminism.

I mean, come on. A woman wishing for another woman (e.g. "terfs") to be hurt and die? How awful do you have to be to wish that upon another woman? Who's the bad feminist in this scenario?

Women should support and help women before all else, because we're all each other has. You can coddle and favor men all you want, but heaven forbid, if you ever have to deal with sexual harassment, gender violence, anything related, those men you defend won't help you. They will blame you. The men who love women who hate feminism are the men who are most prone to causing harm to a woman for any reason, and you're coddling them by saying "Oh, feminism isn't about me! I believe in not all men! Death to radfems!!"

Think about that if you consider yourself "libfem" - it's a lie. It's a goddamn lie fabricated to coddle and submit to people who feel entitled to our social struggle, people who are so privileged already that they have to find problems and social causes and make up endless terms and pronouns and bullshit to justify it.

Nothing justifies you trying to silence feminism when, all over the world, no matter what country you look into, women are hunted and hurt simply because we are women.

Get that in your heads.

#radical feminism #feminism #radfem #libfems just dni ok #think about your own privilege #radblr #radfems are right #radfems please interact #radfem safe #libfems dni #social commentary

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makethosenarratorsfight · 10 months

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UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE A

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

Johnny Truant Propaganda:

He literally tells us he’s a liar / storyteller in the first couple of chapters. He edits other people’s manuscripts without giving a hint as to what exactly he’s edited, so you have to figure it out yourself and then second guess whether you’re right or wrong. He claims to just be an idiot junkie and then you find out in his mother’s letters to him that he’s fluent in Latin, won academic scholarships, and writes poetry. In the end he writes a happy ending for himself and then tells us it was bullshit and then tells us another, slightly less happy (but still surprisingly good) ending and you have to just. Sort of decide on your own whether that one was legit or not.

#lemony snicket #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #johnny truant #house of leaves #hol #HYDROGEN BOMB VS COUGHING BABY #unreliable narrator battle #unreliable narrators #polls #side a

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liannelara-dracula · 1 year

Note

Hi, can we have the diaboy's handwriting?

Hi Love,

Totally, this sounds so cool. For more explanation of if cursive is old or not you can refer to the comments.☺️😊

-Liannelara

P.S. For fun here is admins hand writing

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

Warning:

*certain words have been/may be censored for Tumblr guidelines.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The Diaboys Handwriting hcs

Sakamaki

Shu

Fancy and kinda dark academia aesthetic but is definitely not readable to most of us.

It's in cursive of course cause he's archaic.

And he's pretty lazy, he like barely holds his pen.

He mostly writes in Latin that way none of his brothers understand but sometimes he writes in his demon language.

Although with all the tech now he literally does the voice audio type or anything he needs to write down.

It's so rare to see this lazy ass with a pencil in his hand lol.

Reiji

Its crazy but in cursive it is beautiful, like great penmanship.

But in print, Reiji shows a completely different side of himself.

He never writes in print because he finds that people may think he's vulnerable.

Reiji only writes his most personal thoughts in print and its because he never shares with anyone and can't be himself except for on paper.

So only sadness and angry are written in print.

It is canon that he once held a diary when he was younger so it wouldn't be surprising if he writes his feelings in print. I mean he's stressed.

If he had a lover he writes in print because he wants her to know this side.

Cursive is what he uses when he's doing chemistry or a grocery list.

Laito

The left is how he writes in his demon language its more secretive and mysterious. He hardly uses it tbh.

The writing on the right is usual, normal print/cursive writing.

It's not super fancy or plain.

It is plain but with a little flare.

His writing is pretty neat and clean.

Although he doesn't write a lot he does like to write about his sexual escapades.

Kanato

He alternates between the two.

The left is when he is more focused and maybe upset. But not mad.

If he was mad, he'd write everything in caps.

Although the right is when he is calm since it's cursive.

He uses both interchangeably tho.

What's actually nice about his handwriting is not that it's simple or because it's bold or small. It's what Kanato writes.

I seriously think he writes poems and he is really good at it.

I mean any girl could fall in love with how this man writes, especially if he writes about you.

And he has such a nice voice when he talks about his lover/love interest.

Ayato

It's a mess, he prefers to type.

He makes spelling and grammar mistakes all the time but he uses a pen.

He literally cannot read his writing sometimes and asks Reiji if he knows and his brother just gets really mad at him.

He crosses out so much stuff.

And he writes in any spot.

He doesn't stay on the line, the letters are everywhere.

It's super plain and he never writes in cursive because he literally does know what is the top or bottom of the paper after writing it.

Subaru

Very messy and always in ink.

There are so many scribbles and ink smudges.

He always writes in print because his cursive is unreadable.

He doesn't stay on the lines, his writing moves up and down.

It's very careless and free.

He writes very big.

And has a hard time reading his handwriting sometimes.

Kino

Different and kinda neat but has a lot of crossed-out parts.

Sometimes capitalizes things for no reason.

He can write in cursive but wouldn't choose to.

Although his writing style is unique considering the font.

He is also part of the ink-only squad.

He also likes to abbreviate a lot of stuff.

Is able to keep his writing in a steady line for the most part.

Mukami

Ruki

If he's presenting it's neat, if its for his own things its sloppier.

But still, no soul has ever been able to read it.

He does it on purpose.

Kou has always wondered what it says but he's never been able to tell if it's even in English or in the demon language. Like he has no clue.

Ruki does this in case something thinks about snooping.

He probably does write in his free time, and honestly, he writes a lot. I bet he has so many journals that are filled over the years about his life as a vampire.

So it's hundreds of years of the world all in these books of his.

It's honestly fascinating but no one can read them.

Though if he had a lover he may open up to them about it and share what is in there.

But he might be a tease and lie about what's in there to get her to laugh and throw a pillow at her.

Kou

Okay now although the content at the end of this letter (left) is yandere that's not the point.

I seriously feel he writes in a bunch of fonts and caps/lowercase just cause he's everywhere.

And this is usually how he writes to his fans because they think it "cute"

The right shows his usual handwriting tbh.

It takes a second or two to understand.

But it's not too bad.

He hardly uses his handwriting for anything tho.

Puts hearts on "I"s

Yuma

Messy, always messy.

He is just so sloppy.

You'd think that because he has good hands in a garden he'd have nice handwriting, but you're wrong.

He connects letters with each other, and he has spaces, eraser smudges, and even crossed-out words.

Although his paper is not clean and you can read the writing, well for the most part.

He does have a nice signature though.

Azusa

He has really neat handwriting.

Like it's easy to read, it's neat, and it's not super big.

But there's only one problem.

His papers are always ripped or crumbled, torn, worn out, or have watermarks.

Like there isn't one time where the paper is nice.

He seems like he doesn't know how to do cursive or rather he forgets.

He probably writes relatively small.

Tsukinami

Carla

Fancy cursive and then regular cursive.

He's never used print in his entire 3,000+ years lol.

If he is writing a very formal letter to someone important he uses the writing on the left.

If he is writing for himself or to his brother he uses the writing on the right.

Either way, no one can deny that he has good penmanship.

His signature is also really elegant.

He has his own signature style in cursive.

Something most cannot do.

Shin

Like his brother it is in cursive and very fancy.

The left is how he writes in a more formal setting because it is easier to read.

He always writes really neatly surprisingly, it's the founder prince in him.

It's always in a steady line too, you'd think he'd measure where he wanted to put the handwriting.

The right is his more loose and less legible writing. He uses this if his letter is informal and it is to someone he is comfortable with or has known for a while.

He doesn't really write in print unless its for school and he wants to blend in.

Because he's supposed to be a British exchange student it doesn't surprise me if most of his notes are in shorthand.

I think once he learned that no one uses cursive he decided to not use it that much and stuck to print.

Which probably looks something like this.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

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jesterjaxx · 13 hours

Text

Halloween AU lore dump!!!

❗️WARNING❗️

so much infodumping world buidling and headcannons

DJ- Robot

Originally built to be a robo cop type deal. But when given free will refused to hurt anyone and got scrapped

Was found and repurposed by "Momma" to be a son

Really fuckin loves animals. Nature in general but mostly animals.

They get spooked by him a lot though

Hes kinda sad about this but gets it.

Momma is a scraper/engineer and outfitted him with everything a "good human boy" would need, like touch receptors and an ability to taste

Nothing to be done about majorly changing how he looks tho

The ability to feel is a bit too much sometimes

Sometimes all he can feel is cold

Goes to Duncan to see if he can do something about helping communicate to animals that he is a friend. Ala magic.

Machinery and Magic don't mix well typically, you gotta be crazy specific, which isn't really Duncan's styel

Duncan likes DJ tho, and proceeds to steal some of Harolds spellbooks

Side plot of them being wayyyy to hard for him to read, in both way too high level and shitty handwritten chickenscratch that fucks with his dyslexia, so he has to ask Harold for help

Maybe they learn to better understand eachother idk

Maybe they kill eachother

Harold and Duncan team up 6 dead 9 injured every single person is fucking baffled

Anyways DJ is like iron giant up in this bitch

His Momma is kinda worried that one day he'll learn enough mechanics to fix himself up and wont need her anymore

Tyler - Harpy

Ok the chicken fear makes sense now

He gets the uncanny valley feeling looking at chickens

I would too

He would fly into a window

Can he fly?

Hes like a turkey

Or a seagull

Wait im an idiot hes a chicken

Duh

Eva - Gargoyle

Her carver loved buff women thank god almighty for that

Punches like a brick wall

Living Stone

lion paws for feet

Did you guys know sound resonates the best through solids??

Her music listening experience is legit i just know it

Noah - The Blob/ slime monster

Oh god that poor guy

Hes gonna get slime all over his books

Harold - Witch

He's the type of witch to have seperate waters for different kinds of spells

A pretty dorky Witch, even by witch standards

Wears proper witch PPE (robes and hat)

Has his sheldon Big Bang Theory style shirts on underneath tho

Uses incantations and written spells in magical languages mainly

Uses the starlight, paper, ink, historical artifacts and an assortment of magical ingredients as fuels

Has a large collection of quality spellbooks for references

Not those shitty amazon spellbooks that are just a list of pre written spells, these ones were written by some old hag 80 years ago and through flowery rambleing language tell you how write spells yourself. They go into spell syntax.

Harolds books for writing incantations and spells are spiral notebooks

If he uses smbols will typically craft a custom sygil for it

Uses alot of number magic and latin

Uses his confidence in his skills with writing spells to harness magic

Is better at doing spells for other people, when doing spells for himself he tends to overcomplicate things

Actually went to magic camps and magic summer schools

"I was trained for this!" and it's Mostly true

Can make the most specific fucking spell work for him

I cannot stress he is good at this type of casting.

Duncan's way of doing magic pisses him off. Both are convinced their way is better

Harold to Duncan ->"What the fuck do you mean you increased your strength with a posca marker, bare knuckles and a dream. How are you not dead yet >:[ "

He has a lot of respect for magic itself, Duncan's almost disrespectful way of using magic makes him mad.

Whats worse is that it works.

How Harold casts a spell

Writes down a goal -> outlines different methods to achieve it (incantations, scrolls, potions) -> writes out the spelleork with alot of detail accounting for almost every outcome -> it takes very long -> outwardly or inwardly recites writes spell to activate it -> profit

Alejandro - Siren

(I give up with organization here no more bullet points)

Mermaids and Sirens are almost identical, with few overt physical differences

Sirens will typically have colored iris', 2 finned gills, longer tounges, boned ears and uniformly sharp teeth

Mermaids have colored scalera, 3 smooth gills, finned ears and sharp canines

This isn't a rule, and in modern times there are few families of sirens or mermaids that havent mixed with other monsters at some point

Both species have shape-shifting abilities.

Mermaids have two forms, and can switch between them at will, though the process takes hours and the mermaid will have to stay in either aquatic or land form for a couple weeks before changing again. though this wait time can be speed up with tailsmen, it's can cause health problems.

Siren can shift their features at will, including shifting from aquatic to non aquatic with no wait time, some families of Siren encourage "good breeding" and fostering shifting abilities to the point of shifting bone structure, hair, colors and gender at will. This level of shifting controll is a very desirable trait, and cannot be learned.

Alejandro is one of these few families who try to stay purely Siren

Hes a 100% Siren, but unlike his brothers he lacks any shape-shifting abilities, a flaw that has brought him great shame (this is just a genetic fluke, it's like a birth defect)

but he has both a very powerful ability to enchant his words and natural charisma. Dangerous combo.

Because of the well known knowledge that Sirens can manipulate people with ease, Alejandro semi pretends that he is a Mermaid, using his long hair to obscure his gills

He more just lets people assume hes a Mermaid and does not correct them rather than actually lying

He lies about many things but outright lying about species is a bit much

Siren Speech doesn't work as good if someone's also using magic at the same time or knows what's up about it

It doesn't work that great on Heather, Duncan or Harold point blank, or Lindsay, Beth Trent and Justin if they're shifting or shifted

Good thing hes manipulative on his own!

Beth - Mermaid

Yeah sure why not

I don't know enough about Beth yet i need a moot whose obsessed with her

Ezekiel - Ghost

Lmao hes invisible

Poor dude probably gets looked over all the time

Hes just clothes and a transparent person

Justin - Werewolf

The twilight girls would go crazy over him i know it

Cody - Puppet

Oh poor dude

Itll look cool tho

Hed make knock on wood jokes all the time

Trent - Werecat

The trustin girls would go crazy over this i know it

But real like hes chillin

Would use claws as a pick

Geoff - Frankenstein

A man of the people

Literally

Looses limbs easily

Wakes up after a party like "wheres my leg lmao"

Heather - Zombie

Oh this is good

Shes vegan

Would insult people like "i can tell you have a brain why the hell don't you use it"

Very concerned over phsyical appearance

Uses so so many products

Pretty alive looking for a zombie cuz of it

It's kinda creepy

Her eyes got no eyeshine tho

Like a shark.

Gwen - Skeleton/Ghost

Ok this was an accidental double Gwen got both Skeleton and ghost

Since Ezekiel is already a ghost i'm Gonna lean into the Skeleton bit more but throw a transparent silhouette over all of her for the ghost bit

Ghost vs Zombie rivalry

She'd do all sorts of cool drawings and markings on her bones

Gwen, drawing a bat on her femur with sharpie: tattoo moment

Her eyeliner is also sharpie

Who the fuck cares about skincare when you don't have skin

Lindsay: you shouldn't put permanent marker on your face! It can hurt you 🥺

Gwen, floating bones:

LeShawna - Chimera

YES I LOVE MONSTER COMBOS

LIKE COMBINATIONS OF MULTIPLE ANIMALS

lets do classic chimera but with one head

Lean into the Lioness bit cuz Leshawna is a boss bitch and Lionesses are so fucking cool

I might give her a scorpion tail

Duncan - Witch

Another double whoops lol

He's a "fuck it we ball" typa witch

lmao he and Harold are beefing like crazy i know it Harold has 12 spellbooks hes memorized with their specific ways of casting and Duncan is writing runes on his knuckles with sharpie

Duncan to Harold ->"Why are you using 2 pages of latin for a fire spell??"

"Because i need only this bit of wood to light on fire a little bit and nothing else and if i dont i could loose control of it or blow it up or it might not even start"

*stares in did finger guns at a branch and cremated it for fun*

Harold to Duncan ->"Why are you writing runes on your nailpolish??"

"i'm tired of being the only scary bitch here without claws"

*stares in once accidentally rubbed spell notes off of his spellbook and onto his face while passed out on his desk and gave himself acid burns for 3 weeks"

They go crazy they go stupid

Hes self taught

The Duncan and Harold bullying arc turned Street smart vs actually Smart but make it witches

Mostly just picking shit up as he goes

"Stole" (it was free) a pamphlet on different types of magical symbols and has managed to make the symbols illustrated in it work for almost every spell he wants

Fueled by raw unrelenting audacity

Real lore tho- magic is created with belief and harnessed with confidence, you can either go the intellectual route and control every variable and have trust in your control of those variables to harness the magic like Harold, or like Duncan, have enough semi-unearned confidence in yourself to harness magic with little need for more than a few variables.

Basically as a general rule, it has as much meaning as you truthfully believe it does

Doesn't explain what hes casting or how hes doing it

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"what are you a cop?"

(learned from illustrations, word of mouth, and other witches on the street)

Has a couple stick n poke magical symbols, several other scribbled on symbols that are temporary

Biggest one is a glyph for fire on his hand, he doens most of his spells using it

Has burns around his glyph tattoos from spells backfiring cuz he got distracted

Uses sharpies, spraypaint, eyeliner and the insides of firecrackers for drawing symbols

If he needs a magical material he'll typically substitute whatever he has on him, belief goes a long way.

"Pure Holy Silver?... this earring looks silver enough

This doesn't work for potions cuz potions are only a little left to normal chemistry.

Has alot of talisman he wears

Carries extra ingredients on him ala accessories cuz fuck it it looks cool

Mains his spells with symbols, uses potions or material fuels if he cant make a good connection between what he wants and one of 10 symbols he remembers at any given time

Uses moonlight, bones, rocks, and personal artifacts as fuels

How duncan casts a spell

Draws glyph -> creates a mental connection between what the glyph means and what he wants to do (this is mostly subconscious with Duncan he doenst know what hes doing he just knows he does it well)-> activates glyph physically (ie hitting, tapping, lighting, punching, tracing with finger)

Example: draws fire glyph on Chris's camper -> wants to set it on fire but not the surrounding grass and trees -> smacks the side of the camper that has the glyph on it -> profit

Duncan, to Harold: You make magic math, i make magic my bitch

Bridgette - Alien

Aww she could be so cute

Surfer girl from planet nine

Owen - Plant Monster

This could visually look really cool

Big carnivorous plant

Izzy - Angel

kaleidoscope = biblically accurate form, cuz she "Looks like a kaleidoscope! Duh!"

Lindsay - Selkie

If you steal her coat ill fucking kill you

Sadie - Vampire

Ough thats cute

I'm Gonna make her pigtails batwings

Katie - Zombie

undead girlfriends

Sadie thinks Katie is so pretty it doesn't matter her eye just fell out

Courtney - Demon

Oh this bitch looooves contracts

Is also upset about Duncan but she just doesn't like witches in general

Whats the point of making deals with humans for magical powers of some humans give themselves magical powers

Demon of what?? Pride maybe?? Or envy??

Shes a sweetheart tho

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giuliettagaltieri · 1 year

Photo

Just Kiss Her Already

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x reader

Synopsis: Craving for academic validation, you find an unexpected challenger who might have hurt your feelings, just a bit.

Word Count: 1724

Success came easy.

With your sharp wit, even sharper tongue, ambitions reaching the heavens and the drive to make them a reality, and of course your superficial charm that could bring people to their knees.

You are at the top of your game. You will get that Latin honor you have been striving for since day one of starting at university.

If only it was not for him.

You will never come to understand him, you figured.

Eren Jaeger was the last person you expected to be your rival.

He was irresponsible, lazy, and basically a manifestation of all things negative.

A biased opinion coming from you, of course.

He is well liked by the professors. His provocative statements stimulate the class and challenges even your mind.

You hate to admit it, you refuse to admit it.

It also does not help that he is just so nice, you almost feel guilty for making him sound so horrible in the first place.

Your leg bounces as you listen to him give his constructive argument regarding the issue asked by the professor.

You had the same idea in mind, you were just too anxious to speak up earlier, not wanting to embarrass yourself by answering rashly and miss the point.

The professor grins at Eren and the soles of your feet run cold as he jokingly tells the class that you should try to see the agreement through Eren’s perspective as he claims it is one of the best ways to approach the issue at hand.

The disdain was clearly painted on your face and Eren had to suppress a chuckle.

“Does anybody want to add to Mr. Jaeger’s statement?” Your professor asks, his old wrinkly hands in a clasp.

The entire class falls silent and you reconsider if you should just let Eren have this or-

“Yes, Y/N?”

Your hand is already up in the air before you could even think about backing out again.

“I do have something to say. But I won’t be adding to Mr. Jaeger’s statement.” You stand up and face your professor with your usual stone-cold expression. “I’ll be contradicting it.”

Eren raises a brow, smirk slowly building on his lips.

“You see professor, Mr. Jaeger mentioned how death penalty could not only bring a sense of justice but will also deter crimes but can we really afford it?”

“As I mentioned, that is exactly why the Department of Justice should be challenged to not make justice a luxury that only the rich can afford.” Eren rolls his eyes.

You turn to him fully. “But before the suspect could be proved guilty and be subjected under death penalty, it would take lots and lots of trials and those aren’t exactly cheap, the government cannot give all their funds to every case.”

Eren scowls at you, as he mutters. “Tell that to a little girl who has to suffer from AIDS after being abused.”

The bell ringing through the entire classroom goes unnoticed by you as you are left staring at Eren, wide-eyed and your throat completely dry. You stand there until all of them has left. Even the compliment from your professor for providing such objective and practical insights falls on deaf ears.

Eren’s words echo in your head and you bite your thumb as you stare at your computer screen but nothing goes through your head.

You shouldn’t have tried.

Hours passed but you still feel so humiliated, having him destroy your carefully built academic confidence so easily.

You rest your forehead on your palms.

He wasn’t even being impartial. He was just being emotional. You made a better point.

But the way he looked at you. You never wanted to be on the receiving end of it. Not from him or anyone. It unnerved you.

You hated having to feel like this. It feels suffocating. You were not even defending the criminals!

If he just kept his mouth shut, you could have even added life imprisonment and instead strengthening the laws that are built to support non-bailable cases.

Eren was just being stupid, getting all snappy like that.

It was very uncharacteristic of him to react like that in class. He was usually very laid-back. Well, you did see him get in a brutal fight before but he was usually kind, which made him likeable just the tiniest bit.

You huff as you glare at your laptop screen.

He didn’t have to be that mean about it.

Exams were drawing near and your professors were trying to stuff every information in your heads.

You hear your last name being called and you look up from your notebook to look at the sweet old lady, your history teacher, who was smiling at you.

“Uh, yes?” You ask unsure, your cheeks growing warmer with every passing second.

“I was asking if you have any clarifications.”

Your classmates groan, knowing that they will be kept for another quarter hour.

Sitting up straighter, you then close your notebook and shake your head, a small smile plastered on your lips.

“No, I’m good.”

Well, that was odd.

The cafeteria was as rambunctious as ever and you let out a sigh of relief when see the last croquette sandwich in the counter. You speedwalk towards it, avoiding the slow walkers, letting out a few insults under your breath.

Why can’t anything go your way for once?

Your face fall when you watch how ring clad fingers pick up the sandwich.

“Sorry, you just looked so adorable.” Eren smiles condescendingly, trying to keep himself from laughing. “So adorable that I just had to steal this from you.”

What was it that made you think he was kind again?

Eren stares at you with his tired looking eyes, daring you to speak up.

But you plaster that same smile again.

“That’s fine. You can have it. I’m not that hungry anyway.” You turn around from him and started walking towards the cafeteria doors.

Now, he’s just being an asshole.

And he knew it too.

He was just teasing you, he wasn’t even going to buy it, just wanted to get a rise from you.

Eren bites his cheek as he watches you disappear behind the cafeteria doors.

He rolls his eyes.

Girls and their hormones.

Eren Jaeger is the resident basketball prodigy and academic extraordinaire, he’s definitely not letting such meaningless encounter get to him.

He will not think about it enough to cost him his beauty rest. It is definitely not the reason why he wanted to go for a morning jog to clear his head. It was also 100% not the reason why the coffee he got three minutes ago slipped from his hands just so he could get inside a coffee shop after seeing what’s by the third window to the left.

Eren Jaeger, the unparalleled ladies’ man did not just take a quick look of himself from his reflection on the decorative tin coffee pot by the cashier to see if his manbun was just averagely disheveled.

Surely, his heart was not pounding in his chest as he casually sat opposite you on your booth as he leaned back and stared off the window, watching the sun slowly spill the colors of wine on the previously dark sky.

“Can I help you?” You ask, your brows furrowed as you take your headphones off.

He glances at you and to your scattered notes.

“What’s your aesthetic preference? Chaotic academia?” He snickers.

You huff, gathering the papers on the table to stack them, muttering a small ‘shut up’.

Eren smiles but no humor finds his eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”

Shaking your head, you put your headphones back on. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. You can stay but please don’t pester me more than you already have.”

There it is.

Eren thanks the waitress who brought his coffee. He takes a sip and watches how you drag your pen across the paper, leaving a baby pink hue underneath a word.

He clears his throat before setting his cup down on the saucer, making a soft clinking sound. Your eyes flit to him for a split second. He hides the smile that almost broke out after confirming that you can still hear him.

“You’ve been awfully quiet in class lately.”

He follows how you bite your lip anxiously, visibly drawing further into yourself, making yourself look small.

“Come on, talk to me.” He chuckles, trying to make light of the situation but it only comes out as a nervous note. “This is so unlike you.”

You pretend not to hear him but your leg started bouncing your breath starting to get uneven, something that he cannot overlook.

“Hey.” Eren stood to sit next to you, almost smothering you.

Warm hands grip your shoulders as your eyes remain staring on the silver chain resting by his chest.

Eren was not certain whether he should continue talking as it may agitate you further but he also cannot bring himself to just sit there and watch you break in cold sweat.

He was almost certain you’d be having a panic attack until you threw him the nastiest glare.

“Hold on a minute, this is all your fault!”

Wha-

The audacity!

Eren’s perfectly sculpted jaw drops. “What the fuck?”

He rests his arm on top of the leather seats. He sits there, taken aback, not being able to keep up with your moods.

You slap away his hand that was on your shoulder still and you pull the headphones off haphazardly, he had to lean back so as to not get accidentally smacked by you.

“If only you hadn’t said it the way you did back in defense, I wouldn’t have overthought and questioned my morality like this!” You poked his chest, cheeks all puffed as your brows furrowed.

Fuck. You’re gorgeous.

And in the spur of the moment, in a total state of recklessness as he finds himself trapped and too entangled in everything that is you, he let the words spill from his tongue.

“Are you free tonight?”

You scrunch your nose adorably. “What, why?”

Eren runs a hand over his face.

You hear a sigh and both look at the waitress who was mopping by the table next to you, rolling her eyes at the two of you.

“Just kiss her already.”

#eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger x y/n #eren jaeger x you #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyoujin #academic validation #chaotic academia

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germiyahu · 3 months

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And if you really want me to examine why people in the global south also have such an animosity to Jewish sovereignty in their historic homeland, and seem to give Palestinian Resistance a carte blanche... well I'm definitely not as qualified but fine! I have some theories!

A lot of the Global South are Westerners, kind of. This is especially true for Latin America, and they hate to see it, but a huge proportion of those societies is descended from European settlers, their cultures are heavily influenced by Western cultures. A lot of these countries, especially Latin America (and South Africa too interesting) have also had their own substantial Jewish populations. So if it looks like kind of like a Western society, and it treats its own Jews like a Western society... need I go on?

A lot of the Global South, actually most of it, including the countries that fall in category one, was occupied violently by the West. This created another avenue to transfer Western values onto subjugated populations. And no, don't shake your head at me. You can't claim the GS's homophobia was forced on it by the West and then act like the same wouldn't apply to antisemitism? A lot of the Global South never had significant Jewish populations, that much is true. The concept of antisemitism might feel frivolous and remote to them; why is that our problem? See my own anon. All the same, they were colonized by Jew Haters. At the same time they'd lack exposure to say, Holocaust education, and also have exposure to say, the idea that Jews are overrepresented in global finance.

Even in areas where Western influence was never high historically, even when there are not significant Jewish populations, we live in a modern globalized world where Western culture is a commodity and that commodity makes people money. And people in the Global South consume it. Their conception of the average Jew is probably either an Israeli soldier in some news story about Palestinians being harassed, or a white(ish) American who seems the epitome of privilege to them. They use social media, they see what Americans and Europeans say about Jews. It's very easy to conform to whatever opinions are the loudest and most prevalent.

So a lot of Global South Denizens probably are used to persecuting Jews, expelling or killing Jews, and also dealing with colonial masters who were constantly telling them how Jews cannot be trusted. And for a lot of them, if Jews were present, they were there helping the occupying power, as many Jews were imperial citizens and were present in colonies in various occupations. The Imperial Powers would not have passed up the opportunity to pass the buck to Jews where it was convenient. I see a lot of Algerians excuse their cleansing of Jews as "The Jews were made the middle man by the French colonizers, and they reveled in turning their backs on their Algerian brothers." This excuses violent ethnic cleansing in their minds. Why? Because Western propaganda primed the gun they were already loading.

In essence: I'm not surprised that the Global South is "crying out" for Palestine. All they know about Jews they learned from the West, or they have their own history of violently oppressing Jews. Should any of us be surprised? If you picked anyone in their camp and pitted them against a Jewish state, anywhere in the world, they would still see Jews as a foreign arm of Western Imperial Power, sent by the Man to keep them down. Or the Jews would themselves be the Man I guess. Except then the Jewish claim to indigeneity would not only be more tenuous, it would be ludicrous and false on the face of it.

It's the same reason a lot of people of color in the West identify with Palestinians and the Palestinian struggle. I don't say they do so in error. But I wholeheartedly believe they and a lot of people in the GS are projecting their own societal trauma onto Israel. Obviously Israel is very much doing bad things, so this isn't coming from nothing. But if the vitriolic reactions to Israel and the blind support for literal fascists seem extreme, maybe that's why. They don't care to see the difference between an Israel and a Great Britain or a France. And I'm not saying they have to, but when Jews themselves are also a historically oppressed and nearly wiped out persecuted people, it can come across as fairly gauche to say there's no difference between Israel and Germany, to say that Jews just flat out don't belong in their historic homeland.

There you go, there's my unqualified opinion. Are you happy now?

#israel #palestine #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

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hollytanaka · 5 months

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I’m mostly typing this for myself to help process and organize my thoughts but… feel free to read if you want, especially if you have been annoyed lately too.

I’m cutting my ties with Call of Duty as a fan of the games.

Prepare for my unsolicited thoughts under the cut:

This game has always had shady politics and racial discourses. This is known, lol. It has always depicted Arabs, Eastern Europeans, and Latin Americans as caricatures, even if sometimes they sometimes succeeded in portraying their countries as being the victims of European and U.S. imperialism. But in light of the rapid intensification of violence toward Palestinians with the genocide in Gaza, this tendency just leaves a worse taste in my mouth. While the gameplay and plot structure for the new BO game next year will probably be better than MWIII, I have low hopes with how they’ll portray the goddamn Gulf War. The fact they've added an Israeli operator called "Doc" to MWIII in this particular moment in history tells me all I have to know about where Activision stands as a company.

Furthermore, the last Modern Warfare campaign was so bad, it just signaled to me once and for all that Activision does not care about the future of their games or the legacy of any of their previous good games. I’ve mostly been playing Zombies, not even traditional MP / Warzone. But even then, it’s easy for me to get burnt out playing Zombies. And Zombies is not worth the 100 dollars I paid thinking the campaign would be more enjoyable. And season’s 1 battle pass that came with the 100-dollar edition of the game is awful in my opinion.

Not to mention, the voice actors of both the Modern Warfare and Black Ops series have been either totally racist or highly indifferent about the genocide in Gaza. First, Barry Sloane's tone-deaf Beatles post about "peace" he posted on October that he quickly deleted was more insensitive than I think he even realizes. Samuel Roukin liking a racist article that equates calls decolonization as a "false narrative" was despicable. Of course, that article targets Palestine specifically in its racism, but it also indirectly charges all Third World countries with its accusation of their independence and claims to sovereignty as being "a false narrative." As someone who is of both Latin American and Asian descent and whose countries of origins had to fight for independence more than twice (!!), I cannot accept that.

Then Claudia—a woman of Lebanese descent—and Elliot—a queer black man—encouraging and offering condolences to an ex-IOF soldier was downright evil. The IOF actively bombs Lebanon as part of their current genocidal campaign. It has waged brutal wars against the Lebanese people in the 1980s & 2000s [x] [x]. And it has carried out both anti-Black violence [x] and sexual violence—including against Palestinian men and women [x] [x], and it engages in its frequently-exposed pinkwashing [x]. Rather than allying with Lebanese, queer, and Black people who have been victims of Israeli/Zionist violence, Claudia & Elliot as people with major platforms instead are disappointingly choosing to legitimize Zionist propaganda.

I don't know a lot about Julian, Warren, Neil or Alain's stances on this genocide, but I never take silence in the face of genocide or war to be a good sign. Lastly, since Oct 7, María Elisa Camargo (more like caga'o) posted her support for Israel, equating Palestinian existence and resistance with "terrorism." I already did not like her for engaging in indigenista discourses and tropes and for seemingly being very nonchalant about playing the role of a narco-terrorist, trying to girl-bossify a very real source of fear & terror to contemporary Latin American and Mexican people's lives. This was not surprising for her, but it's still worth highlighting.

In terms of Black Ops actors, the former actor for Frank Woods also made incredibly shitty comments in a live stream about the genocide, talking about a so-called "Middle Eastern mentality," (essentializing all Middle Easterners, really), practically equating all Palestinians with Hamas, and roughly stating that people keep on going further back in history to justify their acts of violence—and I'm sure he was not just referring to Israelis weaponizing the Holocaust to commit atrocities against Palestinians. Like many other people, he gives the impression that he dismisses Palestinians and Arabs as incapable of producing a coherent political thought, and that they only resort to violence out of instinct or because of their religion (which is a gross idea—Islam is not a religion of violence at all!)

Again, I didn't have much expectations for Call of Duty to be anti-Zionist, let's be real. But I see these actors as creatives whose literal jobs are to empathize with other people's stories and experiences as part of their work. The fact that they're trained to put themselves in another person's shoes but are incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of Palestinian people right now, when nearly 20,000 have been recorded as killed—and many more injured or displaced—is very telling.

Anyone who knows this blog knows I have formed a lot of beef with other COD blogs for stuff like fanfic tropes, sexual politics, and about the idea of watching playthroughs vs. playing the game. For once, I'm actually relieved and oddly glad most of this fandom has rallied around the idea that Palestine is not the villain, and that we almost all understand that what Israel's doing is unacceptable, and that these actors and creative industry workers have a duty as humans to stand with victims of genocide and to call out crimes against humanity. For this, I actually have to commend this fandom. We're so trivial about shit like fanfic tropes and headcanons, but I'm glad we have our heads on straight for things that truly matter—like real life war and mass violence.

Honestly, the last straw today—although much minor in its gravity compared to genocide apologism—was Barry's childish behavior toward COD fans on twitter who expressed that they agreed with Christopher Judge's joke at The Game Awards last night that the MWIII campaign was too short. You do not get to talk down, mock, or be childish to your fans when they give you feedback on a public platform as an actor. Judge did not even attack the quality of the game or the VAs' performances—he only joked about the game's super short length. Yet, Barry chooses to act out on Twitter because of these harmless jokes. He seems to care more about protecting his ego as "Captain Price's actor" than about the quality of the game or story that fans are receiving and sometimes paying upwards of 100 dollars for.

I thought to myself, okay, this is just one actor letting his ego get to him. That's not that extraordinary. But the fact that COD devs on Twitter today also starting getting defensive about the jokes and trying to excuse the shitty game they produced? That truly showed me that the horrible launch of the campaign and of MP that happened with MWIII was not a learning opportunity for these studios or devs, but rather only made them stick their heads further up their own asses.

I have little faith in this franchise and honestly am not enjoying it, both in terms of game play and the political discourses coming from its creators. After the Season 1 BP is completed (because I fucking paid for it—sadly), I will be planning to uninstall and shelf the game. If I ever play a COD game in the future, it'll be after it goes on a sale because I won't be paying full price. But the thought of giving this company any more money turns me the fuck off right now.

I also realize I'm co-admin for @dailycallofduty and I will still be participating in running it. I'll be promoting the actors' signings less and promoting the game's new content less. Nonetheless, I'll still be reblogging posts that dailycallofduty is tagged in, like art, graphics, and gifs. On my personal blog, I'll still be reblogging COD gifs that I'm tagged in by friends & mutuals. Just don't be expecting more gifs from me. Not that there were many great scenes to make gifs from this new game anyway.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Here are some useful ways to advocate for Palestinians:

Donate to Doctors Without Borders, where in Gaza they are providing medical and psychological assistance to people affected by the ongoing conflict.

Tell Congress: Support the Ceasefire Now Resolution (call now w/ a script)

Donate to Palestine Legal, an org dedicated to defending and advancing the civil rights and liberties of people in the US who speak out for Palestinian freedom.

Donate to National Students for Justice in Palestine, which supports over two hundred Palestine solidarity organizations on university campuses across occupied Turtle Island (U.S. and Canada).

Read DecolonizePalestine's Reading List to expand your knowledge on all things Palestine

Find a Palestine Protest near you.

Support the BDS Movement, a Palestinian-led movement for freedom, justice and equality that calls for Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions against Israel until it complies with international law and universal principles of human rights.

#mari.txt #cod #call of duty #cod discourse

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fancifulplaguerat · 10 months

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Clara/the Changeling and Daniil have possibly my favorite dynamic in all of Patho. Just the setup of Daniil being a doctor bound to stop the plague and the Changeling being he plague herself is unmatched to me. Especially because the Changeling often refers to herself as Death, so Daniil/Clara interactions are like Daniil having to deal with death itself, in a way. I think the game does play with this a little, such as Clara imploring that Daniil catch her ‘sister’ because “She’s scared of you! She knows you’ve already almost killed her...” It is delightful to me. I think my absolute favorite is when Grace tells Daniil that Clara’s going “To fool the doctor. Said the doctor’s not so smart... That she fooled everyone and she’s going to fool him too. Turn his needles into hooks so he won’t prick her hands.” I love the imagery of the Changeling manipulating his instruments into her own. Like needles and hooks are what Daniil and Clara use to literally and figuratively get under people’s skin and decipher what’s going on with said person in their quests.

I also adore when Clara characterises Daniil’s ‘role’ in the game—in the Bachelor Route she says, “As you can see, you’ve fit into it perfectly. Bravo! Encore! And your persona was... ‘the smartest and the fairest’. Others would have been less convincing.” And in the Changeling Route: “You’re that learned fool from vulgar comedies. Try repeating all of that in Latin; you might bring down the house.” And speaking of personas. I find it delightful when Daniil confuses Clara’s for his own:

Tragedian: [The play] only has bold Masks, just Masks, and miserable Masks...

> What is the play about?

> I've only seen two Masks so far: the miserable one... and the bold one, I presume? It has a remarkably bold beak. *

Tragedian: [...] No, Bachelor; you've seen the Miserable Mask and the Just Mask—that is to say, the punishing one. The Bold Mask is you.

I do find Clara and Daniil incredibly similar, whether intentionally or not, and that’s partly when I find their dynamic so compelling. In typical Patho-doubles fashion, they feel like two sides of the same coin, with similar motivations but different conceptions of said motives. For one, they are both highly motivated by justice. Even if Clara is more led by her heart, in being the plague she is framed as divine judgement, and justice remains a strong thread throughout her character. Then Daniil is, of course, Dr I Will Find Answers and Justice Will Be Restored, and I find this overlap especially tasty because both the plague and doctor see themselves as bearers of justice. Their stories are also driven by their respective attempts to break the Law/achieve the miraculous, and Clara even has a slight utopian flavor in how she talks about the future she intends to create with the Commander.

I feel Clara’s similarity to Daniil really draws out how he can be his own detriment when it comes to miracles. As I’ve thought more about Daniil, it does seem that he stifles his own imagination and dreams with logic. His obsession with truth further seems to constrain him; I think his pursuit of truth is partly an extension of his need for rationality. He disregards the irrational and contradictory, because contradiction is incompatible with truth. As he tells Clara, “I don’t believe you, Changeling... You cannot be trusted because you always contradict yourself.” I feel that Daniil tries to organize reality neatly into what’s true and what isn’t to form a logical and ‘correct’ understanding of a situation, but it’s to his detriment because people and life are inconsistent, some things don’t make sense, so to disregard all that as lies robs him of a more complete understanding of the world. Like Clara tells him, “you have reconstructed a picture of the whole Universe and found the root of what happened, but your picture is austere and barebones... You have merely come to understand the mechanics of the events. You are generally a mechanic of medic.” From a meta standpoint, I think that playing as Daniil definitely offers the most bare-bones understanding of Patho, or at least the most ‘rational’ explanation of events that doesn’t communicate the richness of the world that you get with Artemy and Clara. This makes sense, of course—it allows the player a thorough introduction to make the next two routes more comprehensible. As Clara, the player can also say “There are no bachelors and no towns here, blind man! There’s just you and I. And you are my past. Meaning that, technically, there’s just me and I.” Which God I love it from a meta standpoint because presumably the player has done a route as Daniil, so he is the player’s past

A last thing I wanted to touch on is their diverging conceptions of fate. Daniil professes that he doesn’t believe in it and that it’s just a tool for excuses, such as telling Georgiy, “Categories like ‘time’, ‘nature’, and ‘fate’ deprive man of responsibility for what goes on around him. I was taught to avoid this worldview.” As I’ve said before, I feel that Daniil has a very internal locus of control, and sees everything as driven by actions, consequences, or coincidence. Clara largely does believe in fate, describing herself as bound by a set path and spending much of her route manipulating fate—not just her own, but deciding others’ as well. And in my opinion only Artemy manages to claim autonomy from it because he’s just. “No thanks I’m me actually fuck off.” I don’t think Daniil or the Changeling manage to escape it, but by stealing Clara’s fate, the Changeling still achieves a victory over the Law that Daniil (arguably, depending) does not.

Also, I couldn’t justify putting them anywhere but I have to include these dialogues because I love them so much

Bachelor: What, you and Maria talk to each other? Unbelievable. Maria denounced you as a Changeling and said that if you came to her again, she'd have you thrown into the Gorkhon to see if you'd sink or swim. Does this mean you've swum?

> No! *

> Quit fooling around! Let me into the Cathedral.

Bachelor: So you sank? That makes you a non-witch; but then you must be a revenant, and I don't know which is worse. Shame that the bullets in my revolver are leaden and not silver. But perhaps they'll do too...

Bachelor: Blimey! Look who's here, the demon huntress... I hope you've got your stake of aspen wood with you... And silver, lots of it.

> You're still a slave to your worldview...

> That last part sounded oddly covetous. *

Bachelor: Could be... I'm not the one without sin here. That would be you.

Just how Daniil is vehemently “the supernatural DOES NOT exist” 😡 and then says all this to her. Clara telling him to stop fooling around. Everything about the second one. kisses him kisses him kisses him

#pathologic #daniil dankovsky #clara saburova #patho.txt

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thelampisaflashlight · 1 year

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Cirice

[Quincy meets Mountain and subsequently gets bullied.] Below the cut.

The abbey's library is absolutely stunning.

He'd said as much when Brother Elijah brought him there after his interview, and, even now, nearly a month into his work, Quincy finds it just as magnificent and fantastical as the first time.

However...

"20 down, 6 letters, an old English word for church..."

Although Quincy loves the library, it's not the most lively place.

Clergy come and go, and some linger to study books about this or that, Quincy isn't sure what the primary focus of their research is, but much of it involves skimming through heavy resource books that are all written in some archaic language he cannot begin to understand.

Thankfully, the spines are labeled in English, or, at the very least, Latin.

A bell tolls, signifying midday, and the assembled clergy begin closing their books, setting them off to the side, shuffling their notes and gathering their belongings to leave.

Quincy nods to them as they depart, and receives small waves and warm smiles in response.

The siblings are always very respectful and polite, to the extent that it makes him a little nervous.

Despite having left the faith years ago, Quincy had grown up Christian, and is still struggling to unlearn the more "us or them" teachings his church had beaten into his head as a child and young teenager.

It is not an easy thing to do, and his mind often swirls with negative thoughts and feelings that he tries not to let color his opinions of the people around him, but he has to try.

Quincy stretches, then stands slowly, rolling up his sleeves.

"Right, let's get to it..."

Tidying up the library requires Quincy's full attention, having not fully acquainted himself with the layout, he can easily sort the books themselves by their DDCs but...

"Why are none of these shelves labeled??"

"Mn, I believe it's because the late Papa Emeritus III found the placards too plain, and thought that they 'detracted from the aesthetics'..." Brother Elijah had told him during lunch one afternoon, "Which is... funny, considering I do not think he spent much time actually in the library... at least not to utilize the resources there."

"What was he doing then??" Quincy had questioned, "Just sitting about?"

"Ah, no..." Brother Elijah trailed off, "Well, kind of. He was fond of... roleplay so to speak."

Quincy is still not entirely sure what he meant by that.

What kind of so-called "roleplay" could you even do in a library??

He'd tried to ask Brother Elijah exactly that, but the older man waved him off, saying it was better if he didn't know.

The same day, whilst cleaning, Quincy found a desk towards the back of the library, out of view, with... decidedly nail shaped indentations on the surface, as if someone had been gripping it tightly.

He's still not sure what to do with this information, nor certain how or why he thinks it's connected to the dead guy's... roleplay.

Returning to the present, Quincy finds himself on the second floor, a single book remaining in his hands; It's old and worn, and the sticker label marking where it belongs has long since faded beyond his ability to read.

He flips it open, examining cover to cover trying to find some marker or indication of where it belongs, but everything written inside -and indeed it is written, handwritten in a brownish ink- is in an illegible cursive scrawl.

If he didn't know better, he'd think he accidentally snatched up one of the siblings' notebooks, but the book was simply too old for that to be the case.

The paper, the bindings...

It's a very old tome indeed.

Another bell tolls.

"I'll figure this out later." he tells himself, descending the staircase and depositing the book at the front desk beside his crossword puzzle, grabbing his bag and departing from the library... only to find the hallways packed with clergy members and much chatter.

Quincy hops to see over the crowd, but he can barely see passed the wall of people.

"What's going on?" he asks, tapping the shoulder of a nearby sibling.

"The ghouls have returned!" they announce excitedly, "They're finally back!"

"The what now?"

"The ghouls!"

Quincy blinks, "That... clears up absolutely nothing."

"The ghouls are high ranking members of the church." a now familiar voice explains, "They're essentially celebrities here."

Quincy tilts his head up in the crowd, making eye contact with Brother Elijah.

"So they're kind of like... the 'popular kids' here then?"

Brother Elijah chuckles, "Mn, not quite. They do have a rather large following, but that's only natural, they are musicians after all, and everyone gets at least a little excited to see their favorite ones."

Quincy hops to see over the crowd again, catching a glimpse of... well, more tops of heads, and one face towering above the assembled clergy.

He makes the briefest of eye contact with the man; He's lean and tall, with a narrow face and long brown hair, and when he locks eyes with Quincy, it may be his imagination, but there's the slightest hint of...

...Anger?

Quincy shivers, grateful, suddenly, for the wall of people between them.

He's certain the other had scowled upon seeing him.

It could just be nerves, or his mind playing tricks on him and seeing hostility where there is none, but he doesn't try to jump up to confirm ether theory.

"Are you alright?" Brother Elijah asks, peering down at him worriedly.

"Ah, just... wondering when the crowd will clear up." he says, waving off the other's concerns, "I wanted to go eat my lunch."

"If you say so." he hums, "Here, I'll clear a path. Stick close."

With that, Brother Elijah begins pushing his way through the crowd, and Quincy grabs the band around his cassock to keep them tethered together so he doesn't get lost.

It doesn't take long before they've popped free into the main corridor, taking the opposite path from the... the ghouls?

"Why are they called ghouls?" Quincy asks, letting go of Brother Elijah's belt, "Is that, like, a status thing?"

"In a sense, yes." he says, smoothing his uniform, "It's hard to explain, and I'm not entirely sure how much I can tell you about that, honestly."

"It's another one of those, 'You have to be in the know.' kind of deals, yeah?"

He nods.

"It's better if, for now, you just make yourself aware of their presence and avoid them when you can." he goes on to say, "They're not bad people, nor particularly dangerous, but they can be a bit... much."

"You forget I used to work in a bar, Brother." Quincy points out, "I've likely dealt with similar or even worse."

"Still... I think it would be better if you didn't involve yourself with them more than you have to." the other states, his brow furrowed.

He seems genuinely worried about the idea of him interacting with the ghouls, but that just makes Quincy... curious.

However.

"Mn, I probably won't see them, so it's fine." he says, "One of them, the really tall one, gave me a look and, frankly, I don't want to find out what it means."

"Ahh, that would be Mountain... He's a fairly easygoing person, but he is rather... abrasive at first."

"His name is... Mountain?"

"Yes. Actually, all of them have sort of... nicknames?"

"I se-" Quincy's stomach growls loudly, cutting himself off.

Brother Elijah smiles.

"Come on, let's get some food in you."

Returning to the library after lunch -mostly simple, easy to eat snacks like fruit or cheese for Quincy, and a sandwich from the kitchen for Brother Elijah- Quincy settles back behind the front desk, pulling out the book from earlier and tries to glean any new information from it that he can.

The letters seem to swirl on the pages nonsensically at first, but the longer he focuses on them, the more recognizable the shapes become.

He can tell which are meant to be lowercase 'q's, 'p's, 'g's, and 'y's now at the very least.

But none of the words are familiar to him.

He sets the book down again, taking out his crossword again.

"13 across, 7 letters, a rumbling during a storm..."

"Thunder." a low voice booms, "...do you always do puzzles while working?"

Quincy startles, almost falling out of his chair, but a long arm reaches across the desk, grabbing the back of it.

"You should be careful."

Quincy's eyes widen.

It's... It's the man from before.

It's Mountain.

"I-I... I'm sorry?"

"You need not apologize to me." the tall man sighs, "But, really, you should pay more attention to your surroundings, how could you not hear me come in?"

Quincy squirms in his seat, he feels like a little kid caught doing something wrong.

"I... I was distracted."

"Yes, by your puzzle." he states coolly, gesturing at the paper, now spread out across the floor behind the desk, dropped in his fright.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes again, "I-I... were you trying to get my attention? I'm sorry..."

Mountain frowns, righting the chair and pulling Quincy back towards the desk in one fluid motion.

Why is he so strong??

Why is he so... fucking tall??

Quincy gulps.

"I just wanted to say hello, but you seemed to be off in your own little world, so I thought I might snap you back to reality before someone more important found you goofing off on the job." he chastises, clicking his teeth for emphasis, "You haven't been here nearly long enough to get away with this sort of thing, so you have to be careful, yes?"

Quincy nods quickly, "Yes, Sir."

Mountain's face contorts more, if possible, becoming even more annoyed.

"Don't call me 'sir'."

"What... what should I call you then?" he asks, side-eyeing the massive hand still latched to the back of the chair.

"Mountain."

"Mountain... I'm..."

"Quincy Byrne." Mountain drawls, tilting his nametag upwards with a single, large finger from his free hand, "I want us to be friends, so, be careful not to get yourself into trouble, alright?"

Friends?

He-

With that, Mountain releases him, standing to his full height, and ascends the stairs to the second floor, leaving Quincy to babble uselessly.

"What."

What was that?!

Despite Mountain having righted his chair before leaving him, Quincy still bails out onto the floor with a loud crash.

"Ow..."

"...Are you alright?" Mountain calls from the upstairs railing.

"Y-Yeah, I'm great."

Quincy sits on the floor for a moment, trying to regain his composure.

What even...

Grabbing his paper from the floor, Quincy goes to stand, bumping his head on the underside of the desk.

Thud.

A loud sigh echoes through the silence of the library.

Oi.

"Be quiet down there, some of us are actually trying to get work done."

Quincy bristles, "I-"

"Shhhh-"

Did he just shush him???

Ugh...

Quincy picks up his chair and sits back down, about to toss his paper in the bin, when...

"Oh, 20 down..."

"Cirice." Mountain says from somewhere above, "And do learn to read in your head."

Quincy bites his tongue to keep from screaming.

#Lamp writes #shitghosting #nameless ghouls #mountain ghoul #ghost band #ghost bc #the band ghost #ghost band fanfic #sibling of sin #sibling of sin oc #Quincy Adventures #Mountain is going to tease the fuck out of Quincy moving forward

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