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scoonsalicious · 3 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 8
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, violence, voyerism, coercive sex, manipulation, Pocket reaching her Ultimate Bitch Form.
Word Count: 1.5k
Previously On...: Carthage has been spying on you and manipulating both you and Bucky from Day One.
A/N: THE FIRST TIME DIDN'T COUNT, GUYS!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc
“She was just toying with you, Jamie, because she could. She doesn’t respect you. Do you honestly think she would pick you over Steve Rogers? Captain Fucking America? Especially with all the pain you’ve caused? The lives you’ve ended? Come on, Jamie, don’t be dumb.” Video Jade caressed Bucky’s shoulders.
Bucky’s face fell, and you knew she’d hit him where it hurt him the most.
Jade sat back on her haunches on the mattress. “Don’t be stupid, Jamie,” she reiterated. “Do you really think she’d want someone like you, who can’t even control their cock in a fight, when she could have America’s Golden Dick? I bet they laugh at you, how easy it is for them to get away with it, right under your nose. You think it’s just a coincidence that, as soon as you're out of the country, she’s seen by all of New York’s elite getting cozy with your best friend? The one person you asked her to stay away from? She was just waiting for you to get out of the picture so she can show her real boyfriend off to the public.”
You watched as Bucky’s entire body clenched, his face tightening in anger. “You said you wanted to get back at her,” Jade urged, putting her hands back on Bucky’s body. “To punish her for what she did. So punish her, Jamie. Use me. Use me to make her hurt the way she made you hurt. Don’t let her play you for a fool.” You saw Bucky struggle, at war with himself, but you could see the anger pulse through him, and you knew that, with this snake whispering in his ear, there was no way he could have come to any other conclusion than that you had betrayed him. You almost felt sorry for him– he didn’t have a chance.
“Come on,” she said, leaning Bucky back so he was lying propped up on the pillows. “You won’t even need to do anything. Let me take care of you, okay? Let Vixen make you feel good.” Bucky scrunched his eyes closed, putting his hands over his face. It was painfully clear he wasn’t an enthusiastic participant, but it still hurt knowing that he had been so angry at you for something you hadn’t done that he was willing to do this.
“We just have to get Little Jamie to come out to play,” Jade teased as she straddled him. Your view was obstructed by her body, but you had no doubt that she was jerking him off in an attempt to get him hard. 
It just… seemed to be taking a really long time. 
“Come on Jamie,” Jade said after a few minutes. “You gotta help me out here. Give me a little something to work with.”
It seemed to finally work after a while, and Jade re-positioned herself as she lined Bucky up with her entrance. You couldn’t watch anymore, so you shut your eyes. It didn’t stop you from hearing the horrible sounds of her moaning as she bounced up and down on his cock, though.
You thought you were going to be sick, but then you heard it, so soft that if you had your eyes open, your senses diluted, you would have missed it. “Pocket,” Bucky moaned. “Fuck, Pocket. Keep going, baby. I’m so sorry, doll. I’m so sorry. I love you so fucking much.”
His moans grew louder. “Pocket,” he cried, “God, baby, I miss you so fucking much!”
You started laughing. It was the fucking weirdest, most uncomfortable position you’d ever found yourself in in your entire life, but you couldn’t help yourself. 
“Oh my god,” you panted, trying to catch your breath as Jade looked down on you in confusion. “That’s the most pathetic thing I have ever seen!”
Jade wrapped a hand roughly around your throat and squeezed threateningly, cutting off your laughter. “What did you say?” she seethed.
You coughed when she’d released your neck and you could breathe again. A few drops of your blood had fallen from your nose to rest on Jade’s wrist. “I said, that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” You jutted your chin toward the phone she still held. “You think that’s proof that he wants you? Oh, honey. You truly are a stupid cunt, aren’t you? He couldn’t even get hard for you without thinking about me. You were a convenient fleshlight– just a hole when I wasn’t available.”
You would have felt monstrous speaking to any other woman like that, truly, but you had to do everything in your power to keep her distracted, to keep her from moving forward with her plan to auction you off to the highest bidder, so that you could buy some time for the calvary to arrive. And besides, Carthage wasn’t just another woman– she was your fucking nemesis, and she deserved every foul word you could throw at her. 
God, you hoped Tony showed up first. The image of him sending Jade through the wall with a repulsor blast was enough to send you into fits of giddy laughter. Then maybe Bruce could toss her around like a ragdoll, the way he had with Loki. You’d pay to see that. You wondered if Carthage had headbutted you hard enough to cause a concussion– you certainly weren’t feeling fully in your right mind.
Jade backhanded you, the force of the blow so hard that your head snapped to the side, leaving you seeing stars. “You’re LYING!” she shouted. Grabbing you by the hair, she hoisted you up, metal chair and all, and slammed your face into the nearest wall. Perhaps she’d rattled a screw loose, because you couldn’t seem to get your laughter under control. “Don’t damage the merchandise, Vixey,” you coughed, spitting out even more blood. “Wouldn’t want to hurt my chances at auction, would you? Bad for business.”
“You fucking bitch!” Jade shouted. She ripped your bindings free from the chair and lifted you up by the throat. “Fuck–” she punched you in the stomach– “the auction!” In the face. “I’m gonna–” In the solar plexus– “fucking kill you–” back to the face– “myself!” Each blow was excruciating, and you were sure you’d heard a rib or two crack under the force of her fist, but still, you kept laughing at her. 
“Poor little fox,” you wheezed through the blood that was pouring down the back of your throat. “All those years wasted, thinking you could ever have a chance with him.” Your head lolled to the side as you tried to look up at her through your rapidly swelling eyelids. “Thinking you were special, that you were made for him, and you can’t even get his dick up. He’s so repulsed by you, he has to imagine being with someone else!”
“Shut up!” Jade screeched. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” She grabbed your left arm in her hands and snapped it. The pain was blinding, sending your vision into a white hot pulses. You screamed, holding the broken appendage to your body, as though that would protect you. You didn’t dare look down at it; knowing you’d be sick at the sight if you did, of your arm dangling uselessly at an unnatural angle. Instead, you curled yourself up into the fetal position, cradling your arm close to your core. 
Jade began pacing the room, tugging at her hair and mumbling to herself. You couldn’t quite make out what she was saying– you only caught snippets of words, like “fucking whore,” and “mine.” The girl had completely lost it, had completely gone off the deep end. Meanwhile, you suspected you were going into shock as you listened to the rat-a-tat-tat of your rapid heartbeat. 
No. You cocked your head, listening. That wasn’t the sound of your heart, beating out of your chest– that was the sound of gunfire echoing through the bowels of the base. You strained your ears. Mixed within the gunshots, you could hear screaming, voices crying out in agony and then cut short, as if their owners suddenly lost access to their breath. 
Through the distant din, you could make out a familiar voice, roaring with rage, and the sound filled your heart up like a balloon. “POCKET!”
You started laughing again.
Jade turned to look at you, her expression furious. 
“I feel sorry for you, Vixen,” you said, grinning like a madwoman. “Me?” she asked you incredulously. “I just snapped your arm like a fucking twig and am going to enjoy the shit out of killing you nice and slowly, and you feel sorry for me?”
You nodded vigorously, gleefully noting that the sound of battle was growing closer. Bucky called for you again, his voice contorted with rage and worry. Jade turned her head toward the sound, noticing it for the first time. “Yup,” you agreed, forcing yourself to stand and face her. You could feel the blood dripping from the corners of your mouth as you smiled from ear to ear. “Seems like my boyfriend’s looking for me, and when he sees what you’ve done, he’s going to kick your fucking ass.”
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Fangs and Fractured Hearts
Chapter 15: Reclamation
Summary: You helped Astarion complete the Rite of Profane Ascension and become the Vampire Ascendant. You agreed to become his spawn soon after. Once the Netherbrain was defeated, Astarion claimed the Szarr Palace, renaming it the Crimson Palace, for himself and set about his plans of domination.
Word Count: 6.6k
Pairing: Ascended Astarion x female!Tav Spawn
Warnings: [Will try to continue to add more, but in general expect explicit content for mature audiences]
Possible spoilers. Eventual Explicit Content. Slow Burn. Thoughts of Suicide. Violence. Blood. Injury. Mature Content. Self-Harm. Mentions of in-game content. Completely fabricated camp events. Mentions of Astarion's Trauma.
If you notice a very critical tag missing, please don't hesitate to let me know
Rating: Explicit 18+ - [Meant For Mature Audience]
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A maelstrom of emotions dithers over the union you share. He seems unsure of what exactly he should be feeling as it fluctuates between fear, doubt, and bewilderment in a tumultuous outburst. His thoughts are akin to walking on the dark side of the moon - frigid, wilful in their grip on him with an undecipherable sapidity.
“What do you mean?” He shakes his head, eyes bouncing around as his brows pinch, creasing his forehead. His voice is detached and reticent, a masterpiece of regret and dolour. “I wouldn’t do such a thing, surely. Would I? Hells below. Did I?”
“You must have,” you conclude, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “I don’t remember you doing it, but I can’t hear or remember it.”
Astarion jumps to his feet, nearly pitching you off his lap in haste, but he grabs you at the last minute, dragging you up with him. He pulls his trousers up but leaves them loose as he paces fitfully, muttering and mumbling to himself and wracking his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t understand,” he utters, half to himself and half to you. “I just do not understand. Why would I do such a thing? How long ago did I do this? What the fuck is wrong with me?”
It’s not your fault.
“I think it was before I…” you trail off, squeezing your eyes closed at the memory of Astarion stalking you through the Crimson Palace hallways like a predator, caustic venom spitting from his lips, every word eating away at your soul.
“Left me,” Astarion finishes with a note of despair, like a cold hand laid upon your bare soul. “You can say it.”
You nod sullenly, dropping your head, deject and wayward.
His emotions are flickering through your mind and body like a kaleidoscope of lightning strikes, each blinding flash incomprehensible in its intensity. You focus, but Astarion stops dead as you try to catch and hold them, and the connection is severed.
You are once again empty, a barren midnight sky that’s misplaced the stars and moon. Your eyes snap to Astarion, but the scarlet of his eyes looks hollow with madness as he regards you with the wariness of a wounded animal. He looks at you like he doesn’t know who you are, and it sends a wave of alarm coursing through you, causing your palms to heat.
He retrieves his shirt from the floor, always keeping a close eye on you as if you might pounce. He’s unreadable and cold, the iron countenance of the Vampire Ascendant shrouding him like an icebound veil. Without a word, Astarion darts out of your room, descending the stairs at a whirlwind pace that would be perilous for anyone who wasn’t so agile.
“Astarion?” In confusion, you chase after him without much thought, nearly tumbling down the stairs, and grab his arm. “Where are you going?”
He rips his arm out of your clutches with a bestial snarl. “Don’t touch me!”
“Just wait,” you plead with him, casting Misty Step and blocking his trajectory to the door. You can’t make heads or tails of this shift. “Please. Tell me what’s going on. Let me help.”
“You can’t help me.”
Astarion tries to get around you, but you won’t secede any ground and hold your position with foolish defiance. He grabs your arm, pivots, and thrusts you backward, throwing you to the floor. When you look up at him, those crimson eyes are starting to flick and fade like a star in the throes of death.
“Do not try and stop me again,” he growls, taking stalking steps toward you with a choler tinge in his voice. “Bad, pet.”
Astarion laughs, leans down, and grabs your ankle. He squeezes until the bones are wailing and threatening to break under duress. You whimper, beseeching cries for amnesty, trying to crawl away.
“Master, stop! Please.” You barely recognize the word as it jumps off your tongue in your agony. The haunting palette of bruising is immediately stained on the ghostly white canvas of your skin.
His grip is suddenly snapped away, and he springs back, grabbing his head with a pained groan, shaking it from side to side furiously as he roots himself in place. His breath falters as his eyes meet yours with a hysterical acidity as their claret shifts from deep and warm to shoal and dull as if covered by a thick layer of dust.
“Sorry,” he totters unsteadily on his feet, his lips parting with erratic breaths that make his chest jump aperiodically. His heart beats so hard in his chest that the sound is almost ear-splitting. “Hells. I’m so sorry. I— I— must go.”
Astarion does not even close the door in his urgency, and you’re left naked, clutching your ankle on the floor, staring into the street with your mouth agape. You cast Telekinesis to throw the door closed and limp around the manor, closing the heavy drapes to block the sun.
“Fuck!” You scream at the emptiness surrounding you as you pull yourself up the stairs on your lame ankle.
As you bathe, you allow your body to submerge into the spacious tub. You force yourself to forgo the useless impulse to breathe the air you no longer require and sink. The water’s surface contorts above you like an uneven mirror, twisting and warping reality. Everything is falling apart, and you feel like the sand of a beach being dragged away piece by piece with every crash of another wave upon the shore of your life.
Your heart would be beating recklessly in your chest if you hadn’t been alleviated of life. Colourful promises of love and breaths of forever in a realm of temporary fill your eyes with tears that seep into the water. Time stands still, and your doubt settles and masks your bravery. You’re one step closer to losing him entirely, but you must be fearless. Neither you nor Astarion can afford for you to fall.
Closing your eyes, you run headfirst into memories, searching your soul for all the places that feel like home.
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The thudding of boots, the drip of rain that sneaks through the fissures in the bricks, the skittering and squeaking of vermin — everything echos off the stone in Moonrise. The fire throws foreboding, eerie shadows in slinking shapes across your tent that make you uneasy. No one wanted to camp here for the night, with the Absolute Cultists only floors below, but it had been a long journey through the Shadowlands, and the hungry shade had sapped everyone’s strength.
You flop restlessly on the furs in your tent, unable to trance. You had been counting the cultists inhabiting this wretched place as you made your rounds, trying to familiarize yourself with the layout. The omen of the arduous battle hangs over you, and you’re trying to devise some semblance of a plan to wipe them out in stages. You were never a very strategic planner. Typically, showing up and raining fire, violence, and death have worked for most of your life. Even with the help of the Harpers, one mistake could spell disaster.
Your ears twitch as you hear the rumbling murmurs bounce off the walls, and you’re out of your tent in a blink with fire ablaze in your palm, fearing the cultists have figured out that you don’t fit within their ranks. Taking a lap around, you take a quick headcount, checking your friends off one by one until you hear a soft, breathy whimpering.
Astarion…
Crouching by his tent, you whisper his name, but he does not answer. You recognize a nightmare when you hear one, and your hurt lurches in your chest, fingers hovering just over the door of his tent, but you don’t open it. Your proximity is usually enough to calm him without waking him, and this time seems no different. The trashing has stopped, and his muttering has ceased.
You sigh, relieved, and lay down at the door, curling up on the hard stone. You will rest here tonight if it means you can bring him even a scrap of peaceful rest.
“Darling,” Astarion purrs in a rugged timbre, heavy under the weight of drowsiness. “Whatever are you doing?”
You smile and flop over to peer into the hypnotic, heavily-lidded eyes. Astarion yawns, fangs peeking from his lips, and grins back at you.
“You were having a nightmare,” you whisper, making sure to keep your voice down so it doesn’t wake the others. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep. I’ll stay here tonight.”
“You were going to sleep out here on the stone?” He cocks his head, quirking a brow at you. “Why?”
“It seemed to comfort you,” you shrug.
"I meant, why would you sleep out here when there's a perfectly good bedroll in my tent with me?”
“Oh,” you say, sitting upright with a jolt. “That’s okay, Astarion. Really. I’m perfectly fine out here.”
“Get in here, weirdo," Astarion giggles, grabbing your arm and giving it a gentle tug.
You hesitate, but he tows you harder, and eventually, you relent and crawl into his tent. You sit in the corner, trying to make yourself small, wrapping your arms around your knees.
Astarion huffs exasperatedly, “You do realize that we’ve had sex, yes? You were hardly shy during our little late-night expeditions.”
“I’m not shy, not with you,” you giggle but avidly watch how Astarion’s jaw clenches, fingers tangling into the furs. “You’re hungry. I can see it. I can’t imagine it’s comfortable to be so close to a food source in a confined space.”
“I’ll admit, it’s not easy when you’re so very delicious with that lovely neck, begging to be tasted,” he grins, an artificial smile meant to put you at ease. Astarion notices that he cannot fool you, and his fingers rifle through his hair. “I’m fine. Truly. You’re not in any danger around me. I can control my hunger.”
“Danger? Oh, Gods! No, Astarion.” You shake your head at him, offering your hand, and he takes it. His thumb sways softly over the back, “I’m not afraid you’ll hurt me. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. When’s the last time you fed?”
“Oh, I don’t know, darling. There was that cultist I made a snack of a couple of days ago. You needn’t concern yourself with it. I’ve gone much, much longer without a meal.”
There’s a bleakness shading the sculpted angles of his face that makes your heart palpate with empathy. You don’t have to ask for confirmation. Cazador obviously starved him as some form of punishment. It makes your palms heat in reflex as you seethe. You don’t care what it takes. You are going to kill the motherfucker who dared torture this man that’s stolen your heart.
“Astarion, whenever you’re hungry, I’m happy to offer my neck. All you have to do is ask.”
“That’s very… sweet, but the very shadows of this place are hungry.” Astarion sighs, wrapping his arms around his waist to smother his hunger pains. He smiles, “As much as I would absolutely love to take you here and now, you need your strength. We have many battles ahead.”
“Don’t be dumb," you tut, moving your hair away from your neck. “I need you strong. I am capable of deciding this for myself. I don’t need you to do it for me.”
“Dumb? Darling! You wound me.” He theatrically scoffs, hand to his forehead, falling back as if you slapped him, with a shallow chuckle, “I have received many slights in my life - Insufferable, insolent, insignificant, but this might be the first time I have been accused of being dumb.”
“Well, they say there’s a first time for everything,” you smirk, levity uplifting the lilt of your baritone. “Consider this your first.”
“You are racking up quite the catalogue of firsts,” he chuckles, shaking his head, propping himself up on his elbows. “Are you sure? I am truly of sound mind. No one is in any danger.”
You crawl toward him, heart rate accelerating with every forward movement of your hands and knees, “Will you please shut up and bite me already? Before I berate you for believing I think you’re a danger.”
Astarion’s hand wraps around your arm, persuading you closer with pressure, but he does not so much as glance at your exposed neck. He’s fixed on your eyes as if he’s found heaven hidden within them.
“Then allow us to dine together,” he nods slowly, eyes still moored to yours as he sits upright, prompts you to turn, and holds your back steady against his chest. He kisses under your earlobe and hints his lips down the column of your neck until he settles on that rhythmically pumping vein. He kisses it, long and lingering, and groans, “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” you sigh, barely able to contain your body’s excitement as it trembles in his arms.
His fangs puncture your skin like icicles, impaling the soft flesh, but it ebbs and dulls to a paradisical strumming before your mind has time to react and withdraw. For a vampire that has not fed on thinking creatures much, he’s remarkably gentle and has only become more tender since you started these little meals. He draws from you in unhurried pulls, tallied and modulated as he listens, and his palm splays across your chest over your heart to determine its pace in case he does not hear it accurately.
You feel your ethos skimming through his veins, warming his skin, flushing the tips of his ears, an antidote to his pain. You sigh mellowly, and your fingers untwist from his trousers, going lax. His arousal hardens against your back as he removes his fangs from your neck, tongue lavishing at the residual weeping wounds with broad, flat strokes and moaning a chilled breath over the shell of your ear.
Astarion turns your head toward him, catching your lips in a blistering kiss tinged with the coppery piquancy of your blood. His hips buck into you with a growl, and his hand veers toward your aching clit. You stop him short, grabbing his hand with a shudder.
“What are you doing?” You breathe against the needy, silken embrace of his mouth.
“You’ve been ever so generous,” he purrs. “Allow me to repay your charity in a language I speak proficiently.”
“No,” you break away from the kiss and his arms. Your head swims, bloodless and faint. Your heart hammers, trying to pump the blood no longer within your veins. You sway on your knees, and Astarion supports you with a hand on your shoulder lest you faceplant, “This isn’t a tit-for-tat offer, Astarion. There is no repayment. I am just one friend assisting another. That’s all.”
“I— You don’t want me?”
His genuine confusion encases your heart in a boiling bubble of sorrow, “You know I do, but not like this. I don’t want you if it’s compensation for my blood.”
“I’m sorry. It’s the only thing I know,” he looks bashful. If you didn’t know better, you would say he’s blushing, but that must be the rush of your blood through his veins. “Would you at least rest with me tonight while you're woozy? I will hear if anything untoward happens in camp, and I can protect both of us if need be.” He puts his hands up innocently, “I will keep my hands to myself. You have my word.”
“Do you think--" you trail off, bringing your hand to your forehead that seems to beat in time with your angry heart and groan. “That is to say— Could we —“
“Good Gods, sweetheart,” he chuckles. “Spit it out already before you lose consciousness. I did not take that much.”
Your arms drop by your sides, and you giggle with him, suddenly lethargic, “Never mind. I’ll sleep over here.”
“Now, who is being positively dumb,” he scoffs, clicking his tongue at you. “If you want to cuddle, you have but to ask. You know I do rather like cuddling with you.”
“If you know what I want,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “Why are you making a spectacle out of me?!”
“Entertainment,” he shrugs, laughing carefree and alight with humour.
“You’re terrible,” you mutter.
“I know,” he smirks, lying back and extending his arms, twitching his fingers in the come-hither motion. “Come on, love. Let’s have a cuddle, shall we?” 
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The bath water has turned cold by the time your eyes slide back open. You’re still lying at the bottom of the tub, in a watery grave like a sunken ship. How long have you been in here? Once your brain recognizes that you haven’t taken a breath in what could be hours, instinct takes over, and you propel yourself upright, coughing, sputtering, and gulping down the air furiously.
You scoff at yourself with antipathy. How long will it take for these responses to abate? When will your body just accept that you’re fucking dead?
Wrapping a plush towel around yourself, you listen for the comforting thud of Astarion’s heart but are only met with tomblike silence. It frightens you, making your stomach feel aflutter in your abdomen, reminding you of the Gur attack when you thought you lost him.
You slip into a long-sleeved, purple dress and tentatively peek outside. The velveteen embrace of twilight has cloaked the sky, but the cloud cover is thick, eclipsing the moonlight. You can smell the rain before the heavens have decided to cry. Reaching out to the bond, Astarion does not answer your call.
Fuck this.
You trot through the street, smelling the air. You wince with every step as the injury to your ankle smarts, but the bruising is already receding. It will not be long until it’s healed.
Unfortunately for you, the streets are still relatively busy, and your bloodlust is ever-present and a daunting task to control as you swerve and juke around people. Your mouth waters, and you shake your head like a wet dog to rid yourself of the smog that dampens and threatens to dwarf your self-restraint. The rain starts to drizzle, just as you predicted. The drops plane down your face, and you curse the skies because the scent of the rainfall on the dry stone of the street hampers your ability to detect much else.
You arrive at Wyrm's Crossing and follow the strong scent of blood outside a structure you are familiar with - the flophouse where Astarion's siblings were. The building is ominously dark and far too quiet. You sniff the air. It tastes almost bitter on your tongue, and it’s hard to focus on anything but the metallic richness, but you vaguely make out notes of rosemary and bergamot. You try to open the door, but it’s locked. Locks are hardly a challenge. You cast Knock and crack the door open. The fragrance of blood wafts so thickly in the air that you swear you almost see technicolour as you swoon.
It’s pitch-black inside, and your feet immediately come into contact with a stiff, cold mass on the floor, tripping you. Fire bursts to life in your palm, and mutilated bodies greet the illumination with milky eyes. Some have their intestines spilling out of their abdomens like gooey red ribbons. Others are missing the bottom of their jaw with their meaty tongues lolling out. These people were not just merely killed. They were brutalized, mutilated, and mauled.
A thick slick of congealing blood sloshes around your boots. It drips off the ceiling and down the walls like scarlet raindrops shed from dark skies, softly signifying sorrow's sharp sting. If your heart had not already hardened to macabre scenes like this, you imagine you would be sick. Instead, true to the monster you’ve become, it takes considerable effort not to drop to your knees and start lapping up the sanguine nectar like some thirsty mutt.
You are veritably shaking under the duress of temptation as you crawl over bodies to the one heartbeat that remains. Astarion sits at a table in an alcove in the back with a bottle of spirits clutched in his hand, several more littered around his feet on the floor. He stares abstractly at nothing, a million miles away, bleak and cold.
“Astarion…” you whisper, trying to get a decent look into his eyes.
“Darling?” His brows round when he looks at you, frowning and narrowing his glossy eyes. “You are afraid. Oh, no-no. Don’t be afraid. I didn’t mean to…” He’s confused, and it breaks your heart. “I killed them all, but I don’t remember. I am me now. I’m me - Astarion.”
“I know,” you purr, noticing that he seems to have to remind himself of who he is. “It’s okay.”
“Okay?” He scoffs, bringing the bottle to his lips and tilting his head back. He sways in his chair, causing it to creak, “This is about as far from okay as it gets. Did you not hear me? I killed them. I killed all of them.”
“I heard you,” you cradle his cheek and walk his gaze away from the body he seems fixed on. “We need to go home, Astarion. Before somebody finds us here.”
“Why?” He snaps, gesturing around with a satirical chuckle, “I will probably just kill them too. Or perhaps I will simply compel them to forget their names or their entire lives. Why stop there? How far do you think my power goes? Do you think I could compel them to forget how to breathe?”
“Astarion, please,” you slip the bottle from his fingers and crouch with your hand on his thigh. “Come with me.”
“I hurt you again today,” he sighs, staring at his empty hand with furrowed brows. “How do you sleep with me in the same residence? The same bed? How can you even stand to look at me? Gods. You must fucking hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” you cannot help the tears pricking your eyes. He looks lost as his eyes roam aimlessly, climbing toward the ceiling. “I love you.”
“You love me… Do you regret it?” He whispers, curling his empty hand into a fist repeatedly as if he’s unsure if the hand he’s looking at belongs to him, “Helping me complete the Rite, allowing me to turn you, falling in love with me.”
“No,” your answer is immediate, and the uncompromising intonation surprises even you. “The only thing I regret is that we did not know enough about the Rite.”
“You’re lying,” he concludes, hollow, distant, and abject.
“Open the bond and check my truthfulness if you wish,” you retort. Your whole body shakes as you try to make sense of this broken man before you, “I wanted to be with you for eternity. Everything has a cost. I paid it willingly.”
“Do you know why I turned you?” He asks, face contorting with an anguish you did not believe you would ever see adorn his features again. The corners of his mouth are downturned, eyebrows dropping at the ends, “Do you know why I was so adamant that this was the only way our relationship could continue?”
“I don’t know, Astarion,” you sigh soft and sullen. “I don’t care. What’s done is done.”
“Tell me!” He snarls, slamming his fist into the table and cracking it down the middle, “Tell me why you think I did it! Tell me why you think I fucking killed you!”
You finally relent and sob openly. “Why do you do anything now, Astarion? You wanted to possess me, control me, own me, and make me your obedient puppet.”
“No, my love,” he heaves a tremulous sigh, shaking his head. His eyes are vacant and unseeing, blinking slowly. “Nothing so sinister as that. I was afraid. I was still fucking afraid. I knew you would age and die while I remained the same forever. You would leave me alone again, and I feared a world, a life, without you. I took your life and bound you to me for eternity for no other reason than selfishness, but I always was remarkably selfish. Wasn’t I?” Astarion gazes around at the grisly affair of his making, “Why can’t I remember? I am sick. Aren’t I?”
“We will save you,” you slip your finger under his chin like he’s done to you so often and direct his gaze to yours. Your eyes blister with resolve, and your voice bleeds the same, trying to fill him with strength, “But I need you to keep fighting, Astarion. You must not give up.”
“For you,” he murmurs as his eyes finally appear cognizant. Astarion slides out of his chair, descending to his knees before you like you made you do a lifetime ago, and wraps his arms around you. He presses his cheek against your stomach and whimpers, fingers curling into your clothes. “I will fight to my last, my love.”
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Sunlight filters into the window, golden rays bathing the room as your eyes flutter open. You nuzzle against the silk pillowcase before your mind bombards you with memories of your skin loosening, dripping, cracking, and the agony that arrested even screams from your throat. You nearly leap off the bed in terror, but solid arms wrap around your waist, pulling your back against the strong muscles of a warm chest.
“It’s okay,” Astarion purrs, grappling with your trashing. He places a soft kiss on your shoulder. “I am here. The sun cannot harm you. I’ve got you, sweetheart.”
It takes your still hazy consciousness a moment to accept the promise of safety before you relax in his embrace with a sigh and roll over to face Astarion, looping your arms around him and burying your face in the crook of his neck. You can smell his blood pumping through his veins just below the surface of that pristine, silken skin, and your mouth waters. Your body urges you to bite, stomach knotting into cramps with the promise of that aromatic, richly decadent blood.
So close.
Before you know what you’re doing, your mouth is open, fangs hovering, and your body seizes. Astarion laughs genuinely, such a sparkling, airy rumble from his perfect lips as they pull into a smile against your cheek.
“Well, good morning to you, too.” He giggles, pushing you away, shaking his head with that playful glower, “Can’t get enough? I’m not surprised.” Astarion sinks his fangs into the fanning veins of his wrist and holds it out to you. “Remember, no biting and mind your teeth.”
You’re almost drooling at the oneiric vision of the weeping wounds. The scent of his blood is intoxicating - warm, full-bodied ferrous. The bright red drink of the Gods is a stark contrast to his pale skin, and it takes everything you have in you not to lunge for it. The offer of his blood is new and a little unsettling if you’re being honest.
“Go ahead,” his eyes dart to his dribbling wrist, brows furrowing at your hesitation. “This is no trick. Feed.”
He looks contrite, but there is a new tenderness in the way his eyes are fixed on you like you are shelter from the storm brewing behind his scarlet irises. You cannot handle it any longer. You take his wrist as gently as your fumbling fingers can possibly manage in your near frenzied bloodlust, bringing your lips to the wound. It tastes even better straight from his body, and your eyes roll back with a moan as you focus with a substantial amount of effort on drawing in slow, measured sips instead of trying to drain him dry in an instant.
“That’s enough,” Astarion instructs eventually, tugging his wrist just slightly. You could never get enough of this ambrosia on your tongue, descending into your stomach and making your nerves combust with delight. Your grip tightens on his wrist, and you growl at him, low and throaty.
“Hells,” Astarion groans pleasurably, eyes rolling back. His body trembles with excitement and pleasure. He enjoys this as much as you. He shakes his arm roughly and commands a little more harshly this time. “Love. I said that’s enough. Don’t be a greedy thing now.”
It’s enough to crack the haze that’s fallen over your mind, and you throw yourself from back, detaching from his wrist with panicked breaths. You’re sure when you look at him again, you will be staring at the embodiment of Mephistopheles psychosis, “I’m sorry, Astarion. I’m sorry.”
“Hey-hey,” Astarion coos deeply, like a warm auditory hug on a cold winter’s night. “It’s alright. I’m not angry.”
“You’re not?” You cannot help the stain of surprise that blooms in your voice.
“No, love,” he chuckles, his fingers pressing into your waist, encouraging you to cuddle, and you curl up against his side. He sweeps his thumb across your lower lip, gathering the blood smeared on it and pops it into his mouth with a sly grin. “I was a young vampire too, once upon a century, and I was certainly over-enthusiastic with my consumption of you the first time. It takes time. I can help you with it. We can practice like this.”
Your brows furrow, creasing as you try to think through the residual film of mist. This man is entirely too perplexing. It feels like you’re always trying to run from him, convincing yourself that everything is a trick, that you must be on guard at all times so you don’t get close, but is this just a way for you to hide from what you fear most of all - that you will be unable to save him, and you will lose him all over again.
There’s just no fucking time for this anymore. There is no more time to lose.
Astarion directs your gaze to him, “What’s going on in that beautiful mind?”
“Do you remember what you said last night?”
Astarion’s brows round, and the corners of his eyes crinkle, “Yes.”
“Was any of it real?” You murmur, pushing yourself upright so you can look at him. You request the bond, and Astarion and you unite, transcending time and space, melding together. It takes you a moment to gather yourself, “Or were you just drunk?”
“I meant every word.” Astarion turns suddenly serious, sitting and sagging against the headboard, “I wish to speak to you about something.”
“Are you okay?”
“I am fine.” He combs his fingers through his hair, “You called me Master. I do not wish you to call me that - think of me in those terms. Is that how you see me? As your… ugh,” he casts his eyes to the ceiling, “Master ?”
“No,” you snap, but it’s a lie, and you know it, which means he knows it through the union. You backpedal, “Yes. It is what you are, Astarion. Whether you or I like it, I am your spawn, and you are my master. This is just reality. It will do us no good to pretend that the dynamic of our relationship is different.”
Disappointment slashes across the bond like a blade cutting into your heart. It’s so strong that it physically aches in your chest, and you splay your hand across it and whimper.
Astarion shakes his head, eyes downcast, “I do not want to be your master, little love. I never did. I did not make you a regular spawn.”
“I’m not sure I follow, Astarion. What do you mean you didn’t make me a regular spawn? What other kind of spawn is there?”
Astarion squeezes his eyes shut momentarily, taking a deep breath, the muscles in his jaw twitching. He leans, opens a drawer and produces a book that looks ancient. Its cover is dulled by timeless centuries, and its spine is broken with loose pages precariously tucked in. His fingers tap the book, staring at it as if he dreads what he’s about to do.
He gives you a skeptical sideways look and passes you the book, “Page 152.”
Opening the book, you flip through the musty, yellowed pages until you reach page 152, titled “The Dark Kiss.” You scan the page, reading it once, twice, three times while Astarion stares at you with an unreadable expression. You can feel him in your head, looking through your eyes, thrusting into the folds of your mind, penetrating the softness of your soul, caressing your most intimate thoughts.
There’s trepidation in him. Your soul practically quivers under the weight of his unease. He is afraid of your reaction, and the entity within him is stoking those glowing embers of worry with its babbling breaths of affirmations, trying to ignite an inferno of fear that will melt through the shackles of his control.
“You need to explain this to me, Astarion,” you gawk at him, swallowing thickly as the information slowly sinks in. You’re unsure if the nervousness making your stomach warp is truly yours or his.
“I made you my bride – consort,” he does not look at you when he speaks. His eyes stare blankly at his twitching fingers. “How many times did I bite you that night?”
“Uh,” you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to recall the memory fogged over from blood loss, “Three. Once when we had sex, once on my wrist, and then my neck.”
Astarion nods, “I don’t remember much from that night, high as I was on the power of 7000 souls, but I do recall my intent. I bit you three times, as described in the book you’re holding, and then gave you my own blood. I told you this bond was unique to you and me because it’s only shared with a bride.”
“I’m sorry.” You rack your fingers through your hair, tousling it into an incomprehensible mess to match your whirling, tangled thoughts, “Are you trying to tell me that we are - what? Vampire married?”
Astarion smirks at the bewilderment adorning your face but looks bashful, “I suppose that’s an accurate description, yes.”
“And you declined to tell me this until now because?”
“Honestly?” Astarion’s eyes drift once again to the ceiling, “I meant to. I had every intention of telling you the truth, and then... I enjoyed the power, the superiority I had over you. I saw fear in your eyes when you looked at me, and I liked it. I liked you believing you were nothing. I wanted to revel in it. It fed the sickness within, and then I was... lost for a while.”
“What does this mean for me exactly?” It takes incredible effort to keep the rising panic from your voice.
Astarion’s eyes widen as your whirlwind of terror is added to the mixture of emotions between you, “It means you’re not quite a spawn, not quite a True Vampire, but as close as one could get while still being bound to me and under my control should I choose to exert it over you. I believe it can be reversed, should you wish it so. I’d have to do a little research--”
“No!” you blurt out in a yelping retort that makes Astarion flinch. He assumes your anxiety is due to being bound to him in such a way, you realize. The truth of it is your panic is a shadow looming over the increasingly dire odds of everything you stand to lose.
A friend. A lover. A partner. A... husband?
You smirk at the notion, pushing away that worry - you have time to worry later. Right now, you want to enjoy this. It’s the closest you have gotten to Astarion telling you he loves you. Perhaps, the closest you will ever get, and some sad speck of your soul laps at that wound and dabs it with this new information as if it might cure the incurable.
“Well,” you shift into his lap, leaning into the asylum he’s promising you through the bond, “I’m definitely going to start calling you husband now. I hope you’re prepared for that.”
“HA!” Astarion giggles, shaking his head with an endearingly lop-sided grin. His unkempt silver curls fall and bounce carelessly, “But of course. I can deny you nothing, wife. I wish to try and undo what he,” he corrects himself. “…I did - your name. I might be able to reverse it, but I’m not entirely sure how. You need to trust me, and I can feel you do not.”
You’re a little bemused that there is something Astarion doesn’t know how to do, and you grin at him, your fangs peeking out of your lips.
“Good Gods,” he rolls his eyes at you with a heartwarming smirk. “I am all-powerful, not all-knowing. Compelling is instinctive. Releasing it is another story entirely.”
You want to trust him. Gods above, you long to trust him like you used to, but how can you, given what you know? You wrench on the tide of the bond, causing it to spill and break over you as ocean waves crash upon boulders that dare protrude from its surface. You scour the chords of the harmony, picking them apart note by note, feeling for any sign of manipulation, deceit, or ill intent. Astarion flinches, squeezing his eyes shut with a wheeze, but he does not attempt to stop your search. You find nothing, but then again, he is the Vampire Ascendant. If he wants to hide something from you, he will.
If you want to get your name back, you have little choice.
“Do it,” you confirm.
“Look into my eyes,” Astarion purrs in a deep baritone. “Remember, I don’t know exactly what I’m doing.”
Bringing your eyes to his, the crimson in his eyes sparks alive, like little matches aglow in the red sea, and you have never seen sparks quite so beautiful.
The sensation starts mellow, like the flow of a calm spring, as it trickles through your mind. It feels like liquid fingers whispering against your psyche. The sensation makes your skin prickle, and goosebumps erupt all over. You want to shudder, but your body cannot move. Tributaries branch off and stream until your whole brain feels like it is being grasped by a hand.
And that’s where the pain begins in a sudden influx, a steely, jarring stab, and it feels like his fingers are in your brain, parting every crimp, crease, bend and wrinkle like you are a tome to be read. You’re unsure how long you can take this as he picks your mind apart, looking for whatever compulsion does. You manage to let out a whine, and his eyes flick.
“I know it hurts,” he soothes. “Just a little more, I think. Can you hold on?”
You can only whimper your response. You’re not sure if it sounds like a no or a yes. He continues his dismantling forage, ferreting around in your mind. Suddenly, something changes. All those tributaries and calm, flowing springs snap into one spot, and white-hot pain blooms in your eyesight, blinding you. You’re positive he’s cutting a piece of brain matter right out of your skull. You want to writhe, to scream, to beg him to stop, but you cannot.
You wonder if you might pass out, and then you hope you pass out as the pain becomes more than you can bear. Sharp, like a red-hot blade, has punctured your skull, pierced your brain, and is now broiling against your grey matter. Your vision starts to tunnel, black borders encroaching, blurring everything but the glow from Astarion’s eyes.
Just as you think you're going to lose consciousness, a knot untangles, an invisible barrier crumples, and the bondage on your body eases.
“Hey,” Astarion jostles you, fingers brushing sweaty strands of hair behind your ear. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you breathe shakily. “It’s fine. Did it work?”
“I think so?” Astarion rubs the back of his head. “There’s only one way to know for sure. Do you remember your name?”
You think hard, trying to pull it from the deepest recesses of your memories, but you can’t remember it. “No.” You sigh, “Can you say it to me?”
“Illyria?” 
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Big thank you for everyone who takes the time to read/reblog/comment, and all the other magnificent things. As always, please enjoy ☺️
AO3 [Crossposted]
Master List of Chapters: Fangs and Fractured Hearts
If you're interested I write another fic with Spawn Astarion x Tav called - Shadows of the Past
Small Notes:
Yay! Tav can hear her name, but does she actually remember it?
I'm leaning into the "Dark Kiss" bride/consort theory because why not?
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bambeebirdie · 9 months
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Alright so I just finished Earthspark and boy fucking howdy do I have opinions, but I’m not talking about those right now because I’m tired and the ending broke me in such a way I no longer care about anything.
What I would like to say though is I think Tanatulas should have been replaced with Shockwave in that on episode he had with Nightshade. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Tanatulas. He was literally so good, I loved his designs and his vibes and the only bad thing about him is that he never said his pronouns back. But really think about it. He didn’t have to be there. Earthspark spends too much time with the Maltos to really develop anyone so the more characters you add the more everything struggles.
Tanatulas showed up for one episode, he’s not even in the finale. Shockwave was there though and vaguely important, but it doesn’t make sense for him to just suddenly be okay with the Maltos. Unless he took Tanatulas role. Then his sudden willingness to help them would have made so much more sense. It also wouldn’t have been a very hard change, just as a whole, because neither Tanatulas or Shockwave are that important.
Just give Nightshade a line about how they should save Shockwave because they trust him and well everyone else acts the same.
Shockwave even fills a similar general role as Tanatulas being a weird scientist who care more about their science than the war. So it really wouldn’t be a hard switch and would make Shockwave make more sense. If you want to go further too Shockwave doesn’t even have a normal vehicle mode so he really could have given similar lines about alt modes to Nightshade.
Obviously Shockwave actual introduction episode would be different or maybe he’d just get replaced entirely but I really don’t think any of those changes would be too hard. Because again, he’s just not important enough for any changes to his character to be hard.
Tanatulas in Earthspark doesn’t validate his existence much as is. I really do love him, but he’s replaceable and just clutters an already poorly handled cast. While I think it would be cool if he was just more important they clearly didn’t want that by not even giving him a finale shot. So I do think just swapping his episode with Shockwave (and whatever other alterations are needed to make that perfect) fixes the problem with having too many underdeveloped characters since it removes one character and in the process developes another.
#id rewatch the show to see how well this fixes it but I don’t hate myself that much#genuinely can’t remember shockwaves intro very well so I dunno make I’m wrong but this feels right#i loved Tranchulas very much but no one gets screen time so I think instead of letting a one shot character take up more room#you just edit it so someone important to later episodes actually shows up more#my biggest beef with ES is just how little they care about anyone outside of the Maltos#all I wanted was a funky show about big guys with not usual teams and kinda gay moments#all I got was a very forced found family and acting like these background characters matter more than they do#fucking hate everything about the kids ngl. can’t stand child soldier characters. hate it when humans are important to TF shows#and I hate it when they get magic. literally prime connection. stfu. i don’t want to hate kids because they’re kids but I do not like them.#earthspark spoilers#tf earthspark#earthspark shockwave#earthspark tarantulas#hate to slander one of my favorite episodes like this but I do think it would help the ending at the very least#i don’t even like how this shockwave looks. he’s too slim for sw. but like he makes more sense story wise#transformers#transformers earthspark#ugh hate to add in more ranting in between actual tags but I keep thinking if more stuff#worst things about the kids in ES is like all tv show children they always follow people into stuff even when told not to and cause issues#like bumblebee telling them to stay back. he’s got this. he’s literally a scout let the man scout#but no! they gotta follow him and are the reason he gets caught!#that plot line and character type is so common and everytime it annoys me greatly#can’t you just listen to the guy who can handle themselves and know what they’re doing? can’t you just stay back untrained guy? please?#for my mental health#original post
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johnbronze · 1 year
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ok for real I know they were limited in their options for explaining Stiles’ actions because DOB didnt come back but like SERIOUSLY. I have so many questions and complaints and not even all of them are Stydia related….. spoilers obviously
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Uhhh I can’t figure out how to add a read more on mobile sorry folks hopefully this is a good enough buffer !!!!!
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Did…. Did anyone bother to tell Stiles that Allison is alive?  are we meant to believe that nobody did?? or what’s worse, that he was told and he just didn’t come to Beacon Hills or call or anything?
On that note, are we actually supposed to believe — and I am not a Sterek girlie by any means, love and light to y’all but it’s just not my cup of tea — that Derek fucking DIED and there was a whole ass memorial service that Stiles just didn’t bother to show up to???? HELLO????
I mean it’s also nearing levels of ‘spn finale Dean Winchester ending’ stupid that Derek died in the first place, given that his whooooole character arc (by my book, anyway) is springing from the place of his trauma, and the way that he has blamed himself, struggled with guilt and loneliness and has been atoning for all of the pain of what he perceives to be personal failures the ENTIRE TIME, never letting himself get too close to people, never asking for help, and instead sacrificing for and nurturing Scott as the ideal alpha that he feels he couldn’t be… I don’t know. It just feels like a needless sacrifice to me, like there are so many ways that you can restrain someone and prevent them from moving from the place where you need to. Oh I don’t know burn them alive ?maybe? Which don’t involve sacrificing yourself and burning alive yourself, right in front of your son and the rest of your loved ones. I know again there are production factors at play, maybe it’s likely that they knew damn well Tyler H wouldn’t or couldn’t come back for another movie so they decided to kill off his character?? but suffice to say I was not happy with that at all (and not in the way I think it was INTENDED to upset me.)
Anyway, I know that Stiles needed to be absent because Dylan O’Brien was not a part of this movie, but if I’m being honest, I kind of would rather that Stiles had died ! Obviously I love Stiles’s character and it’s not that I want him dead at all!! it’s just. if they were going to fully send it, and they know he’s not coming back, and they knew that they were going to make up this premonition dream to break up Stydia and (poorly) explain his absence, then it would’ve done a lot better to make that separation as permanent as in life and death. The Stiles we know would never want to be separated from the people he loves as much as he has been now because of all of the external, real life factors. In fact, the season arc with the ghost riders proved to us just how far Stiles can and would go to be present! It was aaaactually a whole thing ! So, if I’m being honest… (1) the way that he and Lydia parted, (2) the way that he isn’t present or even mentioned in the light of his loved ones dying/being resurrected, and (3) again the fact that he wasn’t even at Derek’s memorial … it all feels like a silent character assassination to me. It feels like the mentioning of “Stiles” in this new canon contains less essence of Stiles than it would’ve if he had died. I know it’s easy to have a hater moment and make criticisms and piss and moan about how I would’ve done it better, and I know it’s not always as easy as it sounds… but JESUS CHRIST
Also congrats to the sterek girlies on your own personal y yo a ti moment……that jeep shit was CRAZY
#this is only like an iceberg tip of the things I have to say about this movie#like there’s a clear estrangement between some of the main characters that honestly..stiles feared! we know he did#and we know how hard he fought to hold onto everyone#like he was the glue between them and it would’ve been so sad to see that confirmed. he really WAS the glue#seriously. stiles dies. they all fall apart into little groups and fragments pieces of my HEART!!!! I would’ve bawled.#we could’ve had a closed casket funeral flashback! Scott tries to take Malia’s hand and she pulls away. boom Scali breakup explained!#*​scalia (obvi)#and I feel it would’ve been more evocative emotionally to see Lydia grapple with guilt#that stiles died (in her mind at least) because she was too selfish to heed her power’s warning and keep away from him#it would’ve made the moments where Eli is SOOO similar to stiles HURT more for us as an audience AND to the characters who would see it too#like. raise the stakes! heighten Derek’s (and all of their) fierce protectiveness for this baby !!#make us ACHE thinking about the cycle of it all. how this kid is Scott but he’s also stiles and he’s (literally) a little bit of Derek and—#also this is another thing but I’m also pissed that Liam and Mason had like ZERO interactions lmfao theyre fucking besties ??? or#if they’re not anymore then you should TELL US THAT!!!#I wanna know why Scalia broke up and why she’s fucking Parrish FR#for REALLLL it’s so left field and don’t get me started on what they did to her character and how it highlights Stiles’ absence further#also I miss Theo. to ME he’s under the Hale’s wings. to ME he’s a mechanic and an artist and him and Liam are boyfriends. haters stay mad#TAKES A DEEP BREATH.#okay I think I’m done for now#I can’t figure out how to add a read more on mobile so I hope tagging for spoilers will be good enough (!)#teen wolf#teen wolf movie#teen wolf movie spoilers#teen wolf spoilers#tw#…. I mentioned Dean so.#supernatural finale#supernatural spoilers#alright. bases covered?#long post
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thedragonboi · 1 year
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Hey not to diet shame or whatever but I need to know what’s in tumblr’s algorithm to think this is remotely similar to my likes
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hypocritic-trash-baby · 3 months
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If somehow you haven’t seen by now, while the Super Bowl is being aired, Israel is striking Rafah.
The people of Palestine had been told to go there, they were promised it was safe.
And while this is happening, even though earlier several tags on Palestine were trending, only one or two are now.
I haven’t written any posts personally on Palestine myself. I didn’t feel I had anything to add here aside from reblogging and boosting whatever I can but please. We can’t forget Palestine or its people especially now.
This has gone on too long and gone much much too far MANY times and now is when we need to push harder.
Many of the heads of Western countries are either beating around the bush and wasting time, or outright denying the things the Palestinian people don’t have the privilege to ignore. They don’t have the choice to look away from their pain, or the pain of friends, family, neighbors, their country. And even through all of this they’re still trying their damn hardest just to live. And we all need to listen.
So now, especially if you live in a western country like I do, now we step it up a notch. Now is the time if you haven’t already to read up on Palestinian history. Listen to what the people of Palestine are saying. Hold firm on the boycott like never before. Any and every way you can donate, do it. eSIMs, aid, anything that will reach. Save as much evidence as you can. Videos, articles. Don’t let Zionists pretend all of this never happened.
Even if you think there’s nothing you can do, I’m telling you, keep going. Even if you feel you can only give a little, if we all give a little together it becomes much more.
Hit imperialism where it hurts. In the wallet. Follow the BDS instructions, find protests in your area if you can, boost as much information about Palestine as you can find, call your reps, and do not lose hope. The people of Palestine are not dead. They are holding on even through all this and we all owe it to them to do the same.
A Free Palestine will happen in our lifetimes. But it will be hard fought. So go out there and fight hard! The governments can’t hide from their own people forever. The companies can’t bleed cash forever. The people will win. So push until we do. Do not look away. Free Palestine
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ttpdsargeant · 6 months
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invisible string
oscar piastri x reader, ex!lando norris x reader
part 1 part 3
in which she moves on with his teammate, but why should she care about his feelings? he never cared about hers. besides, oscar is a much better boyfriend.
this is for the oscar girlies and is also like 6 months after say don’t go!! (we’ll pretend 1989 tv was out 6 months ago for the sake of timelines😭😭)
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and 935,746 others
yourusername, 🤍🤍
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user1, WHOOO IS THATTTTT
⤷ user2, i might be insane but like… OSCAR????
logansargeant, i expected a better caption from you considering how much taylor swift you listen to
⤷ yourusername, i couldn’t think of a song to use oops
user3, what if it’s logan????
⤷ user4, not captain america stealing my gf
user5, that should be me holding your hand💔💔
lilymhe, i had to sit and watch you guys be so unbearably cute and i don’t get pic creds for the first one??? criminal!!!
⤷ yourusername, SORRY SORRY IM SORRY thank you taking it lils ily🫶🫶🫶🫶
user6, kinda hope it’s oscar or max just because lando deserves it
⤷ user7, max has a gf but oscar… i need
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f1wags, y/n y/l/n has arrived at the qatar gp with kika gomes, but for oscar piastri rather than the usual lando norris👀
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user1, fav homie hopper😋😋
⤷ user2, i mean it’s not like it’s unprovoked
user3, don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding the love of your life🤞🤞
user4, i wonder how lando feels about this😭😭
⤷ user5, doesn’t he have a new gf?? he arrived at the paddock with another girl today so he can’t really be mad
⤷ user6, NOOO IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THAT IS
user7, usually i hate wag accounts BUT i am kinda thankful for this i needed to know who the guy y/n’s soft launching is
user8, I KNEW IT WAS OSCAR OR LOGAN IM SO HAPPY
⤷ user9, if it was logan we could have more lily and y/n cause alex and logan are teammates💔💔💔
⤷ user10, i don’t think they have to have a bf from the same team to be friends babe
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 953,746 others
yourusername, when he’s a sprint winner >>>> (pic creds: lilymhe)
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user1, SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP PUNCH ME IN THE FACE
user2, prettiest couple i love pretty people
oscarpiastri, ❤️❤️
⤷ yourusername, 🤍🤍
user3, i would not have wanted to be in the room when lando found out😭😭
user4, she’s just like me i would also date my ex’s friend if he did me wrong🤭🤭
⤷ user5, i’ve honestly shipped her and oscar since before her and lando broke up is that weird
⤷ user6, i don’t blame u i kinda feel like they suit each other more yk
lilymhe, CUTEST I LOVE U LOML
⤷ yourusername, I LOVE U GF
⤷ oscarpiastri, how did alex get used to this
⤷ alex_albon, i didn’t it’s just something we have to deal with unfortunately😕😕
user7, does this mean more alex and oscar🤭🤭
⤷ user8, IMAGINE DOUBLE DATES WITH THEM LILY AND ALEX
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sorry for making lando a sucky person but oscar is my one love so😋😋also i had to repost this cause i forgot to add tags and it wouldn’t show up under the tags after i edited it and added them😭😭
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angelltheninth · 6 days
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@thelightofmylife hello Angell!! It’s me again, I really still can’t get enough of your HSR writing, I’ve been eating it everyday and repeatedly read it hehehe
If I may— have you considered a gentle, sincere, and kind reader with Aventurine? Someone who is patient with him and is willing to be with him despite everything… loving and everything.
I personally thought this worked so well as a prompt w Aventurine considering what a sad pile of noodles he is,,, but I also think (optional) this would work beautifully with Sunday, Welt, and Jing Yuan.
There is no pressure to do this or any of the characters I’ve listed / requested, I am simply grateful for your time and energy that you give to us as is 🥰🫶✨
-Sen/Ying 💖
I think the prompt could work well! These guys need a lot of love.
Pairing: Aventurine, Jing Yuan, Sunday, Welt x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, established relationship, kisses, cuddles, reassurance
A/N: Why do they always give these characters the most messed up backstories? Can't they just be happy?
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Aventurine already had doubts about you loving him from the very beginning. There are too many ways this can go wrong, he always had to play it off when you kiss him so softly and tell him you love him without wanting to manipulate him. Of course you love him! Cause he's so cool and charming! He hates keeping you at arms length when all you want is genuinely love him.
Jing Yuan has been through a lot in his life, battles, seeing people he loves die, he's not about to add you to that list. It's very obvious that you love him, he loves you too, he kisses you all the time but at the same that that love is a risk, a target on your back. That's why he has to keep a close eye on you, he wants to spend all his free time with you and make lots of memories.
Sunday knows you love him but can't help but think it might be because of his important family and not himself. That happened to him before so you understand why he was a bit cold towards you at first. He's not cold anymore, actually he's quite open with his affections and happy you return them. As long as you're by his side he feels like he can handle anything.
Welt felt respectable for you somehow, like it was up to him to make sure you have everything you need and that you're happy. Completely forgot about his own well being so he's always grateful when you pull him on an early work break and it him down in the comfiest chair for a little cuddle session. A guy like him doesn't need much affection in front of others but he is more than happy to get it in private.
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hongthoven · 1 month
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one-shot 𖹭 3k w
pairing 𖹭 kim hongjoong (ateez) x fem reader
tags 𖹭 fluff, smut, established relationship, idol!hongjoong, family trip, you know he'll be having you in that hot tub at some point
✏️ okay so this wasn't planned but Bumjoong's vlog got me spiraling into some ⊹ ࣪ ˖ thoughts ⊹ ࣪ ˖ and I couldn't stop thinking about joining Hongjoong on that family trip -- and may I add, that hotspring? You know I had to.
pls reblog & comment if you like it 𖹭
© hongthoven
When Hongjoong had asked you to join him and his family on a trip to Sapporo, your first instinct was to panic— This would be your first time meeting his parents and only your second encounter with Bumjoong ever since your boyfriend’s last tour. Back then, even the idea of having lunch with Hongjoong and his older brother was already nerve-wrecking enough. Lucky for you, Bumjoong was the most welcoming human and had worked extra hard to make you feel comfortable by sharing some precious childhood memories including his younger brother pulling a tantrum over an ice-cream and how he would always crash his football games with his friends when he wasn’t much bigger than the ball itself. 
Now this was different. Meeting his parents, spending days with his whole circle and living under the same roof seemed like a commitment your anxiety couldn’t seem to handle peacefully. Of course you were more than happy and flattered he would even consider bringing you along with him— any signs of this man committing to you more than enough to have you kicking your feet and screaming into a void. Hongjoong was a busy man and dating Ateez’s captain wasn’t always easy when it came to matching your schedules so you could spend quality time together. When he wasn’t spending the night at his studio, your man was either busy promoting his music, writing for other artists, working on his next photography exhibition or flying to Paris’ Fashion Week. 
Still— every single one of his accomplishments felt like yours and Hongjoong always made sure to include you in every single step towards another successful experience. So when your lovely boyfriend had kindly suggested for you to take a couple days off from work so you could fly to Japan with his family, there wasn’t much left for you but to agree as Hongjoong did his best to reassure you when you immediately told him about your worries: his parents not liking you, embarrassing yourself, crashing their family time when you weren't even part of it— to which Hongjoong was quick to reply with the most unexpected piece of informations, sending you spiraling into thoughts of a future you were too afraid to dream about.
“Y/N— you’re part of my family already…” That was the validation you needed from him. The thought of him talking about you with his parents, letting them know about meaningful details of your relationship, made your heart grow twice its size. And while you were still nervous to meet them, you knew nothing could possibly go wrong when Hongjoong was by your side. 
By the end of your first day, you already felt like part of the family. After hours spent walking in the snow, taking pictures, gazing at the gorgeous landscape and tasting some local delicacies, you were practically tight by the hip with Hongjoong’s mother as you walked back to the beautiful accommodation your boyfriend had rented for the entire family. 
“My mom is kind of obsessed with you” Hongjoong growled as you finally caught some time to yourselves, spread out over the bed with your boyfriend resting on top of you, the coldness of his palms sending shivers all over your stomach as he slipped his hands under your sweater with a content sigh. “I’m a bit jealous actually— she’s keeping you all to herself” he almost whined, his lips reaching for your neck, forcing a soft giggle out of your lips “can’t even hold my girl’s hand or anything— such a thief” he added, biting your skin while the tip of his tongue collected your scent, reaching for your earlobe.
“Joongie— your family’s right next door” you huffed, trying to wiggle out of his embrace as he looked up to lock his beautiful yet sleepy eyes with yours. It had been a long day, following a long week of a packed schedule and you could definitely tell he was a minute from passing out from intense fatigue— but he still looked breathtaking with his blonde streaks covering half of his face and his pink lips, tempting as candy, desperately reaching for yours, only to melt into the softest kiss as he eventually complied. Closing his eyes for a minute, Hongjoong made himself comfortable with his face buried into your neck and his hands still resting under your sweater, framing you with his entire body. 
It wasn’t long until you heard his breathing slowing down, its delicate sound mixing with some slight snoring from being completely burned out. Happy to see him resting at last, your hands found their way into his hair and at the back of his neck, kneading his skin tenderly as you watched the beautiful winter scenery getting darker by the end of the afternoon. 
A knock on the door made you flinch into your slumber and your first instinct was to look down and make sure Hongjoong was still fast asleep— when he failed to react, your eyes found Bumjoong standing in the doorway, trying to make himself as discreet as possible, his palm covering his eyes.
“Are you guys decent?” he asked with a nervous chuckle as you immediately cleared the scene with a soft tone, the sight of his passed out brother making the older one smile endearingly. 
“I think we’ll pass on dinner, can you excuse us to your parents? I think he needs this…” You whispered with one hand still locked into your boyfriend’s hair, scratching his scalp softly. Without a word, Bumjoong gave you an understanding nod as an answer and closed the door behind him, leaving you with nothing but the peaceful quietness of the bedroom as company. 
After a while, you figured Hongjoong was gone for the night and decided not to rot in bed any longer— your body was getting pins and needles from staying in the same position for hours, keeping your boyfriend locked into your embrace as he snored peacefully against your chest. Though you were slightly reluctant to let go of him, the warmth of his skin as a reminder of how long it had been since you two were in the same bed, you eventually managed to roll Hongjoong over to his side, stealing a muffled complaint out of him as he called out your name in his sleep, to which you replied with a tender kiss at the crook of his neck before rolling out of bed and escaping the bedroom as quietly as possible. 
The hotspring was practically calling your name as you walked into the private patio on the second floor, ready to dive into your book and enjoy some snacks while bathing in hot water— now this looked like a holiday. Everything around was quiet, peaceful if not for a couple of birds still chirping into the night. You were thankful for Hongjoong asking you to take a bathing suit although you were left a little puzzled at his odd request for a snowy weekend away— but you also couldn’t miss the little evil smirk on your boyfriend’s face when giving you a house tour, his hand palming the small of your back as he made sure to let you know just how much he expected to have you there, in this bath, as soon as his family would be gone. He would find an excuse, book a table at some fancy restaurant, pretend to have some work emergency and keep you around for support, only to bend you over the tiles and make you scream his name over and over again.
Unable to focus on your book as you kept reading the same page until it made some sort of sense, you tried to remember the last time you and Hongjoong were able to share that type of intimacy, your thighs instantly clenching at the sudden memory of his last concert in Saitama. You typically tried not to ever miss a concert whenever you could travel along but this tour you wouldn’t miss for anything— for months, you had seen Hongjoong practice his guitar skills, lessons after lessons, massaging his calloused fingers every time he took it too far — almost every day, so when it was time to witness your boyfriend in all his glory as he stood on stage ready to wreck an entire Dome, you were actually thankful to be seating alone, your entire body radiating with lust and  the absolute urge to kneel in front of him to swallow his junk entirely. 
Which you did, precisely 2 hours later, as soon as you were left alone with him backstage. Hongjoong had practically kicked the other members out without any effort to hide his intentions. You could actually hear Wooyoung snickering behind the door and making some crude comment to Mingi about how their captain was about to ‘get some’, which you both decided to ignore. Without any sort of ceremony, Hongjoong was quick to spit into your open mouth and guide himself between your lips, both his hands pushing at the back of your head until you could feel the familiar taste of precum spilling off his slit and into the back of your throat. You could never get enough of the way he seemed to melt against your tongue as you traced every single vein along his cock with just the tip like he was your favorite flavor. 
When it came to being vocal, Hongjoong knew how to drive you past the edge of insanity with little whimpers and the nastiest words wrapped into the delicacy of his voice, like the melted chocolate heart of your favorite cake. You would never get rid of the way he often crossed the line, way past his usual cute pet names, only to call you his ‘little slut’ as he rutted himself into your mouth, stealing air out of your lungs as his hands started to tremble into your untamed hair. 
The water was getting too hot, suddenly— the simple thought of Hongjoong slowly pushing your lips open with his tip making you foam at the mouth. Without realizing, your thighs had started to press against one another, rolling up and down slightly, just to give you enough friction for a quick relief. You could tell your entire body was now getting worked up over your fantasies, your back arching naturally as you eventually pushed your book to the side, suddenly uninterested in any sort of Literature. Wrapped into a cloud of steam, your body was craving a touch— yours, but mostly Hongjoong’s, and as you slowly slid your hand along your chest, brushing your erected nipple on your way down, you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at the thought of being caught. What would your in-laws think? What would Hongjoong say if he heard about his parents walking on his girlfriend touching herself in the hot tub? 
All these thoughts were quickly gone as soon as your hand found its nest between your thighs, three of your fingers pressed against your core as a soft moan escaped your lips, echoing into the empty patio. Or so you thought. 
“Baby?” Though you immediately recognized Hongjoong’s voice, you were quick to stiffen back into the corner of the tub, red at the cheeks as you turned around to face your boyfriend’s mixed expression. He was definitely confused— but also quite obviously aroused. Not to mention half naked now that his sweater was gone, leaving him in a pair of sweatpants, his hair now a chaotic blond mess from sleeping for too long and his bare chest already coated with steam from the temperature of the room. He looked like an absolute snack you couldn’t wait to devour. 
“You should have woken me up if you needed it so bad?” Hongjoong smirked, peeling himself off his sweatpants only to leave you gasping at the sight of his exposed, already semi-erected cock for a second before he dived into the bath. 
“You looked like you needed some good sleep” you half-pouted as soon as he pulled you against him, forcing you to sit on his lap with one leg on each side of his frame. 
“I need you more” without any sort of warning, Hongjoong reached for your throat, wrapping all five of his fingers around it as his lips found yours, tongue teasing until you caved and deepened the kiss, soft moans dying into his mouth as you started to grind over his lap while his stiffening member threatened to push your bikini bottom to the side with each thrust from your aching hips. 
“Fuck— I’ve missed you so much baby— fucking insane—” his words were coming out a little sharpier, halfway between a confession and a command while his lips traveled down to your neck, sucking a soft, pink bite out of your skin with one hand already pulling at your bikini top. You couldn’t help but feel extremely exposed as one of your tit disappeared into Hongjoong’s palm, the other already settled between his lips as he sucked desperately at your flesh like a starving newborn.
“You gonna let me fuck you here?” he asked, his tone the opposite of innocent as you clenched over nothing, pushing your core against his groin until you couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing else mattered now. The glass windows surrounded you, making you both vulnerable and exposed— the idea of his family coming home any minute, only to find you there with their youngest son balls deep into your cunt. All you could think about was to be filled and to reach climax as soon as possible. It had been weeks since you had last felt Hongjoong’s body so close to yours and a treat was overdue. 
“Please” you almost weeped, using your fingers as a hook to push your bikini to the side until you felt his tip pushing against your entrance, thicker than ever. 
“Oh you’re gonna beg, love?” you couldn’t say a thing— not a word— as you nodded almost hysterically, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth like a misbehaving child ready to be grounded. Though his words were tempting and his gaze wrapped into that cocky frown you knew too well, Hongjoong’s hands were nothing but tender over your skin, his love pouring out of him in the shape of his palms stroking your arms, shoulders and the back of your neck like you were nothing but glass, about to shatter against his chest. 
“You’re so fucking pretty— can’t believe you’re mine” his words took you by surprise, his thumb brushing your bottom lip while you felt him aligning himself perfectly against your aching core. His eyes were locked on the way your mouth instantly wrapped around his digit, sucking at the tip like the ghost of that part of him you were now craving. 
“Go ahead and beg” he added, more demanding this time, your body going limp against him as you struggled to even breathe from the absolute urge to be consumed entirely by the love of your life. 
“Hongjoong— please?” you finally begged, lips turned into a pout while your hand reached for his cock, ready to wrap around it. You had never felt emptier. 
“What do you think you’re doing, love?” Hongjoong smirked, his own hand wrapping around yours but never truly stopping you.
“Need you” you were a blurbing mess by now, lids heavy and hips almost jolting against him as you felt him stretching you out a little with his tip only, both your hands still tightly wrapped around his shaft. You could feel every inch of him— into your palm, pushing against your walls, everywhere, always amazed at the way his cock seemed to be exclusively crafted for your cunt. 
Once he was settled, balls deep into you, Hongjoong reached for the small of your back, pulling you closer to his chest as you instinctively rolled your hips against him, collecting the sweetest sound out of his throat as your boyfriend tilted his head back, hitting the tile with his wet hair while thrusting painfully slow into you. The room was filled with soft, muffled moans and the sound of water splashing over the rim, soaking the floor with each, deeper thrust. Everything felt and sounded like absolute bliss— the roughness of his chest against your palms, the way his fingers dug into the flesh of your ass cheeks everytime he pulled you harder, bottoming out only to rocket his hips back into you— nothing could beat this feeling, this fullness, the sincere love you could see in his eyes as his lips turned into an ‘o’ every time your eyes met. 
Reaching for your neck, Hongjoong pulled you closer to melt his lips into yours, his kiss more eager this time as his tongue battled with yours while his hand kept you still with a soft grip around your throat. Lost into his embrace, it took you a minute to realize he was now completely still inside of you. 
“Could stay like this forever” he smiled, his palm cupping water on the surface only to pour it over your chest, his eyes following every drop as it raced over your breast like the most beautiful piece of Art. While still tightly clenched between your folds, the way he gazed at you, his fingers tracing some invisible forms over your chest, was the most intimate thing you had ever experienced with anyone. Something in his eyes made you feel safe and vulnerable at the same time, like you were precisely where you belonged. 
It only took a few more thrusts for you to bite a moan into his shoulder, your entire body stiffening with bliss as Hongjoong chased you to the top, his entire face buried into your chest as he lifted himself just enough to rocket back into you harder until his cries echoed into the quietness of the night while your walls locked around his load, turning him into absolute shambles as Hongjoong started to shake slightly into your arms from a hint of overstimulation. 
Red at the cheeks, blonde streaks pushed back, Hongjoong tried to compose himself, his breathing gone to absolute chaos as he kept his arms locked around your figure, unwilling to let go just yet. 
“Think I’m gonna marry you” he blurted out, his forehead pressed to yours— leaving you once again, completely speechless. 
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scoonsalicious · 3 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 7
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, voyeurism, manipulation, lies, spying.
Word Count: 926
Previously On...: Jade's got you kidnapped is in planning on auctioning you. She's got something for you to see, though, first.
A/N: Second favorite line of dialog in this part. Guess!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc
The video opened to show Jade, clad in only her bra and underwear, positioning the camera on top of a dresser in what you assumed was their Russian safehouse. Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing only his boxer briefs, with his head in his hands, not looking at what she was doing.
“Sorry,” he muttered without looking up. “That’s… that’s never something that happened to me before. I’ve, uh, never had a problem… getting it up.”
“That’s okay, baby,” Jade said, crawling across the bed to stand behind Bucky as she began pressing kisses to his neck. “It’s new and you’re nervous. But I’m not going to judge you.”
Bucky flinched away from her touch. “It’s not… it’s not nerves. I just… Pocket. I don’t think I actually want to do this to her.”
Jade in the video dropped her head to the top of Bucky’s shoulder. “Why are you thinking about that slut?” she demanded. “She fucked your best friend. You saw the articles. She’s just not hiding it from you anymore.”
“God, I wish you’d never shown me those fucking articles! I just can’t believe she would do that to me,” he moaned. “She knows how I feel, how insecure I am about the two of them together.”
“Yeah, she knew, but she did it, anyway,” Jade said as she started peppering his skin with kisses again. She reached down and began palming at Bucky’s limp dick through his underwear. “She doesn’t love you. I wish you would finally open your eyes and see that. You deserve so much better.”
“But I love her,” he whispered, so low you had to strain to hear it. “I’m just so… fucking mad at her! At both of them! How could she do this to me? She said she was going to give me a chance, to let me work on rebuilding trust! And the second I’m gone, she turns around and does this?”
“Listen, Jamie.” Jade dipped her head and took on air of contrition. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but she started things up with Steve long before this gala.”
Bucky jerked his head up at her. “You’re lying. She wouldn’t.”
Jade frowned, and brushed a strand of hair back off his face. “My poor, sweet, trusting Jaime. I’m so sorry. The other agents talk, you know. Especially the ones that kind of blend into the background. You can hear an awful lot when people don’t notice you’re there.”
Bucky shook his head in disbelief at her. “No. There’s no way.”
“I guess it started when they went to Latvia? Anything change between them after that mission?” Jade said. “One of the agents told me she caught a glimpse of them fuckin in the back of the Quinjet before landing.”
“They could have seen anybody,” Bucky said, his breath coming heavier now, and you knew he was starting to doubt, knew he was letting his insecurities take over. “That was… before, before we were even together.”
“Maybe,” Jade hummed with a shrug. “The agent said she was wearing a purple pushup bra under her tac suit, but Steve had pulled it down so he could… well, you know.  I’m sure Pocket doesn’t have a bra like that, right?”
Your mind flashed back to that day, that mission– it stuck with you because it was the day you and Steve had finally buried the hatchet about Berlin. It was the day… fuck. It was the day Bucky asked you if you and Steve had slept together because you were acting so much nicer toward him. You remembered coming out of your bathroom to chastise him for even asking, but he was barely paying attention. He’d kept staring at your breasts… why? Because you’d been in the middle of changing out of your tac suit when he asked his ridiculous question, and you came out with it down to your waist, the only thing covering your top half… a purple push up bra. Bucky always said how much he loved that bra, because it reminded him the first time he got to see your tits, even if you hadn’t taken it off.
“You flaky, crusty cunt!” You said. “You hacked the feeds of my room! You SPIED on us!” 
“Oh, calm down,” said Jade, pausing the video and going back fifteen seconds to make sure you didn’t miss a moment. “Don’t think of it as spying, think of it as doing research. I needed to know what my Jamie was up to before I arrived. What he did in his spare time, who he did it with.” She cast you a dirty look.
You felt gross. This new piece of information meant that Jade had had access to footage from every single time you and Bucky had had sex, every one of your private moments. You almost didn’t want to know how she had gotten past the encryption locks you’d installed into the system. If you ever made it out of this room alive, you’d make sure you updated the security.
“Don’t worry, Precious Pocket,” Jade said, slapping your cheeks a little too roughly with the flat of the phone. “I didn’t watch all the pity fucks Bucky gave you.” She laughed. “Watching you wiggle and bark like a beached sea lion once was enough for me. Poor Jamie. Wonder how he could even stand it.”
She put the phone back in front of your face. “You don’t want to miss the best part!” she exclaimed, before hitting play once more.
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
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lavender-devotion · 1 month
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Gambling With Souls (Alastor x GN!Reader)
Summary: You made a deal with Husk a long time ago, and ended up paying a lot more than you bargained for. Now you worked in one of his casinos, waiting on him and the people he gambled with hand and foot. One day Husk is challenged to a game by another Overlord, one with red eyes and a sharp ever-present smile…and, despite everything, you can’t help but feel drawn to him. What happens when the two of them start gambling with souls…and yours is thrown into the betting pool? Disclaimer: Husk is going to act pretty different than he does in the show and, yes, he's not going to be very nice to you---this is not me demonizing him. He's an Overlord, he's gonna act like one.
Tags: Alastor x GN!Reader, No Use of (Y/N), I only know Texas Hold ‘Em so that’s what we’re going with, One-sided Husk x GN!Reader (maybe, idk, it's up to your interpretation) TW: Abuse, Alcohol, Groping Word Count: 3.3k Read it on Ao3 <3
The moment you'd agreed to gamble with Husk, your life had ended.
You were a strong demon, not an Overlord---considering you hadn't owned any souls---but still not someone to mess with. Still, it was an incredibly stupid idea to gamble with an Overlord like him, especially since he was known for his proficiency in such things. You didn't remember what exactly had possessed you to think you could possibly win, but it didn't really matter now, did it?
He'd challenged you, and you had accepted.
You lost.
And now your soul was his to do with as he pleased.
Of all the demons who owned souls, Husk was considered by far the worst. He was a gambler and a drunk. He won hands, yes, but he also lost them---and it wasn't exactly uncommon for him to bet the souls he owned in lieu of money. Especially against other Overlords.
You could be working for him in one of his casinos as a dealer and in the span of one hand you were suddenly being dragged to the Vee district and forced to work as a porn star for Valentino, subject to his abuse and the abuse of your "co-stars," only to see your pain broadcasted across Hell to get people off.
Or to the Carmine district to work in a factory, building weapons that would probably kill you one day and dealing with the effects of the toxic gas and physical labor, slowly decaying over time.
Or to the district owned by Zestial...no one knew what happened to the souls he owned, and you sure as hell didn't want to find out.
Oddly enough, though, Husk seemed to take a liking to you. He always had you work at his personal gambling table---serving drinks, food, or rigging the game in his favor when he was in particularly deep shit and didn't want to lose.
And he never bet your soul.
Ever.
Sometimes he would bet you doing certain...activities, sometimes he would bet your time, sometimes he would bet a kiss, but never your soul.
Sometimes you were grateful for it, for the security it brought and the routine---you were rarely ever caught off guard when it came to Husk. Grateful for the knowledge that, hey, at least you would never be traded off to someone worse.
Other times, however, you hated it. Hated that he treated you like his prized show pony, hated that he was willing to pass you around but never loosen the chain on your neck, hated the fact that there was no escape...
...at least, there was no escape, until Husk gambled with him.
----------
It was never a good thing when Husk called you over to his table, so when one of the girls you worked with waved you down and directed you over to him---right before the end of your shift, I might add---you were...less than thrilled, let's say.
It had already been a hard enough day. It was like every jackass in Hell had decided to all get assigned to your tables at once---being loud and unruly, smacking your ass, spilling drinks, causing trouble---and, of course, none of your coworkers were any help. Your feet were killing you from all of the moving around, a customer had spilled a drink on you so now your uniform was more uncomfortable than usual, and you could definitely feel a migraine coming on.
The last thing you wanted to do was stay however many hours past your scheduled time just to plaster on a fake smile and be Husk's plaything. All you wanted was to go home and go to sleep, but the universe apparently hated you.
Fuck your life.
As you approached Husk's table, your attention was immediately drawn to the man sitting across from him. He was noticeably taller than Husk, even without the antlers atop his head---joined by a pair of red and black ears that matched the rest of his hair. He was dressed in a red suit and tailcoat that seemed to be 1930's in style, and a staff in the shape of a vintage microphone rested right next to him.
What was most eye-catching about him, though, was his smile.
Husk was an irritating man, that's just what he was like. He was arrogant without the sense to hide it, too certain of his own success every time he played a game, a hefty shit talker, usually drunk, and irritable and rude when he wasn't. Half of your job was often playing nice to soothe his opponents, trying to keep him out of trouble. Like I said, he was an irritating man.
And yet, even though it was obvious that Husk was getting on this man's last nerve, his smile never faltered. It was...unsettling, to say the least. Oddly enough, though, you found your interest in the man piquing---he didn't look like the type to gamble, after all, so what was he doing here?
As soon as you made it to the table, you plastered on a smile of your own and greeted them, mentally preparing yourself so that you didn't try to throttle one or both of them.
"Hello gentleman," you said, voice falsely bright and cheerful, "will I be dealing for you today or grabbing some drinks?"
Husk turned to you, grinning cockily and...oddly not drunk. Not sober, of course, but clearly more sober than you'd ever seen him before.
"Dealin' for us today, sweetheart," he said, smooth and low---almost flirty. You mentally shuddered.
Despite your distaste, you nodded and made your way to the middle of the table, going ahead and opening a fresh deck of cards before shuffling them---waiting for Husk to tell you which game they were going to play, and therefore what you'd be dealing out.
He turned to his opponent, "now, what game 're we playin'?"
"Your choice," the man replied, his voice overlaid by sharp radio static.
Husk laughed, and part of you wondered if this stranger had a death wish. Didn't he know who Husk was? Didn't he know what a terrible idea it was to give him, not only the advantage of playing in one of his casinos and choosing the dealer, but also the advantage of choosing the game?
What was he playing at?
Never one to pass up an opportunity to gain the upper hand, Husk---grinning---told you the game he wanted to play, and you began dealing out the cards. Quickly, the stranger recognized it.
"Ah, Texas Hold Em', hm?" He hummed, static crackling slightly in an almost-laugh, "a classic! What made you choose such a game?"
"I just figured a basic game like this would be easy enough for you to keep up with," Husk replied, the little insult sliding smoothly off his tongue. The stranger's eyes narrowed and you cringed, mentally praying to whatever god would listen that he wouldn't take his anger at Husk out on you, as was all too common among the characters he gambled with. Thankfully, his eyes never left Husk and he made no move to harm you as you set up the game, now divvying up the chips between them.
Just before you were about to start the game, however, Husk held up a hand to stop you---a dangerous glint in his eyes that made you shudder.
"Why don't we make this game a little more interesting," he said, and you could already guess what he was about to suggest.
The stranger's head tilted ever-so slightly, "what did you have in mind?"
"Why don't we gamble with something a little more valuable than money...something like the souls we own."
The stranger's smile widened imperceptibly, and you got the uncanny feeling that this is what he'd wanted in the first place. Not Husk's money, but the souls in his possession.
'Perhaps Husk's soul as well,' something in your mind whispered, but you brushed it off. Husk never gambled his soul either, so there's no way that would happen---even if that was what the stranger was there for.
Once the stranger voiced his agreement, Husk snapped his fingers and his chips radiated with a silver glow, each chip being branded with a mark that symbolized exactly whose soul was being bet. His soul was branded on a Black chip, the most expensive piece---ever present, even if he'd never bet it. Yours was a Red, the second most expensive.
He gestured to the stranger, signaling that it was his turn. The stranger followed suit and snapped his fingers, this time a bright green enveloping the chips in front of him---starkly contrasting to the rest of his appearance. His chips were now branded with their own marks as well. A Black chip with green details was branded with a bright red 'A,' and you could only assume that was his own soul.
After it was clear that the two were ready, you flipped the first three cards, and the game began.
----------
At first, things almost seemed normal, once the game had started.
You dealt the hands, split the chips in the betting pool, and watched as the two Overlords went back and forth with the flow of the game. Occasionally another one of Husk’s employees would come over and serve them drinks, but other than that none of it caught your attention.
Well, one thing caught your attention.
The stranger’s shadow.
It seemed to dance around with a mind of its own, never losing its smile, just like the stranger himself. The shadow sometimes messed with the chips on the stranger’s side of the board, sometimes it played with the ice in the empty glasses on the table, but most of the time it seemed almost…fascinated by you.
It messed with your hair, helped you shuffle and collect the cards, tugged playfully at the edges of your uniform, and simply stuck by your side most of the time. It was a nice change from the attention you were used to dealing with from customers, or from Husk himself.
The way people would scream at you when they were angry, the wandering hands that would grope or hit or grab, the catcalls and lustful threats, the glasses of alcohol that people would throw at you…this was nothing like any of that. You liked it, it made you feel…precious, in a way. Valued. Cared for, oddly enough.
The stranger seemed amused by the antics, occasionally raising an eyebrow at his shadow only to receive an innocent shrug in response.
Husk, on the other hand, was not so amused.
“Get control of your fuckin’ shadow,” Husk snapped at the stranger as it tugged gently on a piece of your hair, drawing a small smile from you. One that immediately disappeared as you heard Husk’s voice.
“Now now,” the stranger chastised, seeming even more amused at Husk’s irritation, “it’s only having a little fun, no need to lose your temper.”
Husk muttered something under his breath, no doubt some string of insults, but still, he dropped the subject. You tried not to pay any more attention to the shadow after that, not wanting Husk to get angry at you as well.
Husk didn’t seem to notice…but the stranger did.
“Husker, you have quite the specimen working for you here," he said, radio static curling around his voice in an almost...flirtatious(?) purr as he turned to look at you, "what's your name, my dear?"
You flushed slightly before giving him your name, asking his in return. After all, you'd prefer to stop thinking of him as "the stranger."
He repeated your name slowly, sounding out each syllable, before responding, "Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet-"
"Your turn," Husk interrupted, voice grating, and the stranger- Alastor's gaze snapped to him, lip curling even as his smile stretched.
"Of course," he replied, irritation clear in his tone, "pets have such short attention spans, wouldn't want you getting distracted from our game, now would we?"
"The only one getting distracted here is you."
Alastor only hummed in response, raising the bet as he did so.
You glanced between the two, the tension between them palpable, and you were more than a little worried that a fight might break out---but, thankfully, neither made a move towards the other. They just sat there, glaring.
You cleared your throat, trying to dispel some of the animosity, "raise or call?"
Husk pushed a stack of chips forward, "raise."
----------
This is how the game went, back and forth.
Husk winning some hands, and Alastor winning some in return---almost like a dance, a game.
You watched, enthralled, as the two continued on...and as Husk slowly, surely, lost more and more souls. Usually, when it was clear that one of the players were going to lose, they would call the game off---cut their losses and stop before things got any worse.
But, for whatever reason, Husk refused to do just that. In fact, the more hands Husk lost, the more determined he seemed to keep playing---to the point where, if you didn't know him well, you'd think he was gambling under the influence. It was...surprising, to say the least, and by the time Husk seemed to realize how deep of a hole he'd dug himself into, it was too late. His only choice was to keep playing and hope his luck turned around.
He had no reason to be worried, though, and he knew that.
All because he had you.
You see, there was a reason why Husk always had you serving his table. It was because of your power, what you could do for him during these games.
It was hard to pinpoint exactly what your power was, since it manifested differently depending on what you used it to do, but---in simple terms---it was almost like you had control over reality. A small part of it, at least. You could control things...well, under your control. Your appearance, the clothes you wore, anything you made, or---in this case---any game you dealt for.
There weren't any rules against the dealer controlling the game. Husk made certain of it. There was even a clause in the fine print of every contract people signed to play with him, one that gave you full permission to do as you pleased during the game, as long as you were the dealer.
So, sooner or later, Husk would give you the signal to turn things in his favor and you would do as you were told.
...
Well, apparently, it was sooner.
Husk gave you the signal, and you sunk into the familiar warmth of your power---subtly seizing control of the game. You knew the cards in Husk's hands and in Alastor's, as well as all the cards on the board.
Alastor would have two pair, Husk would have one.
Your fingers twitched slightly and the unflipped cards changed, giving Husk three of a kind and Alastor one pair.
Husk won that round.
Safe to say, Husk started to get "spontaneously" lucky, and get some of his souls---his power---back. Alastor, surprisingly, didn't seem at all bothered or shocked by this. If anything, he seemed completely relaxed, as if he wasn't losing hundreds of souls with every hand. It unsettled you, and it definitely seemed to unsettle Husk---even though he tried his best to hide it.
Eventually, though, just as you thought that---surely---Alastor had had enough and was about to call the game off, he said something that stopped you in your tracks.
"All in."
Your power faltered for a moment as you stared at him, eyes wide, and you lost all knowledge of what was on the board. Husk was staring too, mouth hanging open, before a surprised laugh slipped from his mouth.
"You're kiddin', there's no way you-"
Once again, Alastor simply said, "all in."
Sliding his soul chip forward. Smile ever-present.
You glanced at Husk, silently wondering what he was going to do. Even with you controlling the game, he'd still never gambled his soul. Whether that was because he didn't trust that you'd let him win or because he didn't want to take the risk of your power failing, you didn't know, but still...he never bet it.
You raised an eyebrow, waiting for his answer, and, after a moment, Husk shook his head in disbelief...before calling Alastor's bet. A first for him, and for you. You took a deep breath and took control of the game again, ready to change the cards, before Alastor---once again---stopped you in your tracks.
"Is this what you want?" He asked, and you froze.
"...what?"
"Is this what you want?" He repeated, sounding genuinely curious, "to spend the rest of your afterlife working here, for this man? Letting him bet your body, your choices, letting him control your free will?"
You blinked. Surprised.
No one had ever asked you what you wanted before.
"I don't..." you trailed off, unsure of exactly what to say to that. Unsure of how to answer the question.
Husk glared at him, the topic of conversation clearly hitting a nerve, "why don't you shut the fuck up and mind your own business you-"
"You don't have to, my dear," Alastor continued, cutting Husk off, "you do have a choice, you know. You could choose to help me, instead of him, or to let fate take its hold."
It hit you then that Alastor knew that Husk was cheating, that he knew you were helping him. And still, he played the game...still, he treated you with kindness and respect.
He was right, though, you did have a choice. The contract of the game specified that you could do whatever you wanted with your control of the game, so long as you were the dealer and not one of the players.
If you wanted, you could make Husk lose.
You could force him into the same position that he'd forced you into.
You could break free from his grip.
Husk growled your name and your gaze snapped toward him. It was a warning, a threat. He owned your soul, he could do whatever he pleased with it, so you better listen to him.
Alastor said your name softly, drawing your attention back to him. A careful reminder. You still had a choice in this, Husk couldn't make you do anything right now. You could always choose not to help him, to help Alastor instead. All for the chance at a better life.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes...
...
...before letting go of all control of the game.
Whatever happened now, it was up to the cards. Not you.
Husk slammed his hands down on the table, making you jump back as piles of chips tumbled to the floor, but before you could get farther away, he lunged at you and grabbed your throat---seething with rage.
"YOU FUCKIN' BITCH, HOW DARE YOU-"
Before he could finish his sentence, or cause you any harm, a green chain suddenly formed around his neck and pulled him back---making him fall to the ground. Your gaze snapped up, only to find Alastor at the other end of the chain---his shadow laughing behind him, grin wide. From there you glanced at the table, only to find-
Alastor had a Royal Flush...
...and Husk had nothing.
You glanced back at Husk and then, again, at Alastor---the reality of everything slowly setting in. Your soul no longer belonged to Husk, even if you were still tied to another Overlord. Now, though, Husk had fallen from his ivory tower.
Now he was just like you.
You couldn't help the hysterical laughter that bubbled up from your chest, a weight you hadn't even known was there suddenly disappearing. It was over. It was all over.
"I guess the house always wins," you managed to get out through your laughter, unable to contain the bright smile that took over your face. You were free of him. You were free of him.
"Indeed, my dear," Alastor replied, chuckling at your little joke, "I can already tell, you and I are going to get along just fine."
You would never admit it, but you thought so too.
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 7 months
Text
Practice On Me — Part Five — Azriel x Reader
Note: I feel like this part isn’t that great but as you may have seen, I had a family emergency and I got kind of distracted whilst trying to finish it. It was going to be even longer with even more drama, but I wanted to get an update out today and I wouldn’t have finished it in time, so I’ve cut it short (on a cliffhanger, of course), and the next part will be out quicker as it’s already mostly written. You can look forward to more drama 😏 I hope you enjoy this part all the same! Also, I try to tag everyone who asks, but it won’t let me tag some of you, so please check your settings to make sure your blog is able to be tagged/searched for!
Summary: Reader is trying to carry on as normal, but a trip to a rival camp has tensions rising once more, and jealous Azriel makes a return. Trouble seems to follow our poor girl everywhere…
Word Count: 6.1k.
Warnings: A bit of violence.
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This is all wrong.
The beautiful female hovers over Azriel, her lips slanting over his. Her mouth is commanding, entirely in control.
She smiles against him like she knows it.
She grabs Azriel’s hands, plants them on her waist. And she whispers in a voice that is so seductive, it almost seems impossible, “Touch me.”
So Az touches her. And it’s all wrong.
He can’t exactly place why it’s wrong. Just that there’s a panic unfurling inside of him that this is all happening too fast—
No, not too fast. It’s not that.
It’s who hovers over him that’s the problem. The realisation is nearly suffocating. Something has changed.
He doesn’t…doesn’t think he wants to be doing this here, right now, with Kaeda. It feels…off. He’s not comfortable, not at ease, like he’s always been with—
The door bursts open, and it’s a relief when Kaeda tears her mouth away from his.
The relief instantaneously disappears as he turns his head, drinks in who stands at the threshold. His stomach lurches.
Y/N looks as if she’s about to keel over on the spot. She trembles so violently that she can’t seem to keep her body still. Her tunic and breeches and shoes are sodden, as though she traipsed all the way here, through the snow, with nothing shielding her from the cold. Her hair sticks to her face, and there’s blood — blood streaking down her chin.
Azriel goes cold. Something has happened.
But Y/N seems oblivious to the blood as she stares, wide-and-watery-eyed, between Azriel and Kaeda.
And Az thinks…fuck. Fuck, fuck, a thousand times, fuck.
His head is reeling, roaring.
And then Kaeda says, “The shop hand from the forge,” and Azriel doesn’t like her tone; like being a shop hand is something shameful. She adds, “What happened to your face?”
Az is wondering the same fucking thing. It’s then that be remembers how to move, and he’s wrenching up and scooting out from beneath Kaeda, and his voice is quiet, soft, as he murmurs, “Y/N…”
He wants to go to her, fuss over her, but she’s gripping the door handle and shaking her head in a way that stops him from doing so.
“Sorry for interrupting.” She chokes out. In a flash, the door is yanked shut, and she’s gone.
All Azriel can think is no. Something prickles at his skin. He forgets there’s someone else in the room with him.
“Do you know her?” Kaeda’s voice jolts him.
“She’s my—friend.” The word sounds strange in his voice, tastes funny on his tongue. It tastes…sour.
“You think she got into a fight, or something?”
“No, that’s not—” He stops himself from revealing too much. Presses his back into the pillows. “No. I’m not sure what happened, but…no.”
Kaeda seems to think on that for a mere second or two. And then she shrugs. “How strange.”
Before Azriel can reply, she’s climbing into his lap, legs either side of his. She grabs his hands, planting them on her hips. Her soft hair tickles his cheek as she leans down, and she smells pleasant. Sweet and powdery.
“Where were we?” She murmurs, and then she kisses him again.
There is no excitement in this. There should be something thrilling about the way her lips attack his hungrily, and the way she’s stroking her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, and the way she rocks on top of him. Az may lack experience, but he doesn’t lack knowledge, basic common sense.
His cock should be hardening in his breeches by now. But all he feels is…panic.
He’s too concerned about Y/N to focus.
He rips his mouth away, panting, “I can’t.”
Kaeda blinks down at him. “What?”
“I’m sorry, I just — I need to find Y/N. I need to check she’s alright.”
The female studies him, reading his face.
And then her expression softens. She nods. “Of course, Azriel. I’m sorry. You should go find her.”
Kaeda is nice — he’s thought so since the moment he met her, when she took a late night trip to one of the training rings a good few months ago, and Az had had the same idea. She’s one of those personable people who can get along with anyone — who could coax conversation out of a lump of snow. People light up around her, and they laugh, and she makes everyone she talks to feel special.
So of course she has no problem with Az skipping out on her. It thaws his heart a little. The panic is still there, though.
“I’m sorry.” He stands from the bed, a twinge of guilt biting at him for just…leaving her here. “I’ll check on her and make sure she’s okay. I’ll come back after.”
Kaeda smiles at him brilliantly. “Go on. She needs you.”
He doesn’t need any more encouragement than that. Later on, he might regret how quickly he darts from the room, as if it’s on fire. But right now, all he thinks of is Y/N.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
You end up at the cottage. You’re not sure why. Nor how — you have no recollection of the walk there.
The pain of an aching heart blocks out the cold, at least.
You need…you don’t know what you need.
It feels as though you’re standing still as the world moves too fast around you.
You numbly walk through the front door, forgetting to kick the snow from your shoes. And you stop at the sight of Cassian in the kitchen, stood alone at the counter, his back to you. Your mind can’t register that he’s here, when you expected him to be at the centre of the Solstice festivities, drinking the night away and finding someone to fall into bed with by the end of it.
He turns, unperturbed by your abrupt arrival. “Sandwich break.” He chirps, and then his eyes land on you. The sandwich slips from his hands. “What the fuck?”
You open and close your mouth, not even sure what might come out. There’s a disconnect somewhere. Nothing’s working right.
You just hope it isn’t Azriel’s name that slips past your lips. You don’t want to have to explain your complicated feelings where he’s concerned.
“My father.” You eventually rasp. “He…”
You don’t need to finish the sentence. Cassian knows. He always knows.
He comes striding over to you and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. And you feel a little deceitful that the tears that immediately begin to fall have nothing to do with what went down with your father. But what’s one more negative emotion to add to the growing pile? You sink into the embrace, accept it greedily. Cassian’s hugs will one day feature in legendary tales, you’re sure.
“I told Az I had a bad feeling about tonight.” He says, pulling back to study you. A rare fury flames his gaze, turning him instantly into the feared opponent that so many other males simply refuse to fight. He clenches his jaw, features harsh for once. “Gods, I just want to go straight to your father’s house and—”
“No.” You quickly cut him off. “Not tonight. Please. I can’t take any more tonight.”
Cass can be stubborn and driven by emotion and he’s damn well attracted to fights like a moth to a flame. But he’s also a fiercely loyal friend who will listen to what you need and act accordingly.
Which is why he gently takes your face in his huge, warm hands, inspects your split lip, and says, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
You could kiss him for that, alone.
Maybe you should.
No, you’re not thinking straight.
You don’t want to think at all, as you allow yourself to be seated on the couch, and Cass begins rummaging for whatever scant medical supplies Rhysand’s mother keeps in the cottage. Years under your father’s thumb means that you’ve got the art of emptying your mind to an almost frightening level of perfection. Perhaps an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a necessary one. You force your head to go quiet, to empty.
But then Cassian is perching himself in front of you, a gentle smile on his face.
“I’m totally making this up as I go along.” He admits. “I’ll make it as painless as I can.”
A bizarre thought strikes you that you actually want this to hurt.
You’re not sure what to make of that one.
Luckily for you, you can’t exactly provide much conversation with Cass cleaning the wound on your lip. It’s nice not to have to think beyond the vague hums you give in response to his occasional comments.
But before long, he’s rubbing a salve into the cut — and apologising as you hiss at the sting — and then he tells you, “All done. The bleeding has stopped.”
Your attempt at a smile is more of a grimace. “Thank you.”
The silence in the room is odd. Pressing. Even in the most testing of times, Cassian is known for trying to inject some humour into the situation — he’s a master at easing tension. But he stares at you in a way that strips you bare.
And then he asks, “What happened tonight?”
You frown at the question, not entirely sure how to answer. You know he’s asking in regard to the wound, wanting to know exactly how you got it, but your thoughts are aimed — uncontrollably — in a singular direction, and if you open your mouth, you’re not at all sure that Azriel’s name won’t just roll off your tongue.
“Y/N?” Cassian presses.
“I…” You swallow. It’s a good start. “I think I might be homeless.”
Not exactly an answer. But it seems that’s enough for Cass.
He shifts his position so that he’s able to fold you into his side. He guides your head to his chest, pressing a kiss to your hair.
“No, you’re not. You have this place.” He murmurs. “You’ll always have this place. Or you could move into my room at the dormitories, if you’d like. I’ll even clean it for you.”
That drags a weak, rasping laugh from the depths of your aching chest. “You really are a catch, Cass.”
“Oh, I know. But I’ll clean my room for no other female but you.”
Would that change, you wonder, if he met Kaeda, saw how beautiful she was? He may not have had the pleasure of an introduction yet, but you’re sure that Azriel must have shared at least some information with him and Rhys. They probably know more than you do.
Your curiosity piques, and before you can stop yourself, you’re speaking. “Cass?”
“Yes, sweetpea?”
You should totally backtrack, blurt out something pointless and irrelevant—
“What do you know of Kaeda?”
Or maybe not.
There’s a short pause as Cass seems to mull the question over, his fingers beginning to absentmindedly rake through your hair.
“Not much.” He eventually admits. “Her family aren’t from this camp. Her father is Lord of Camp Fenlaros. I think they’re a wealthy family, highly respected. I don’t know any more than that.”
Which explains why you’d never seen her until the day she’d walked into the forge. You’d certainly remember meeting her before. The Fenlaros Camp sits at the other side of Illyria — the furthest one from Windhaven.
“You don’t need to worry, though.” Cass then says, and you stiffen, wondering if your silence has somehow exposed you. “Az has a good head on his shoulders. He knows what he’s doing.”
Yes, you want to say, because I fucking taught him.
But before you can muster a reasonable response, the door is bursting open.
Azriel strides in, damp hair sticking to cold-bitten cheeks and his chest heaving. His eyes drink in yours and Cassian’s current position, before zeroing in on your face.
“I’ve been looking for you.” He pants.
You stare back at him, and you hate that you feel…angry. You have no right to feel that way. What has Az done, besides what he always intended to do? Exploring your affections was only ever supposed to be a practice run. If he feels ready for the real thing, you should be excited for him.
But quite simply, you’re not.
“Why?” The word comes out too brusque, too harsh. You correct yourself, clearing your throat. “I mean—what for?”
A pause. “I was worried.”
“I got her all cleaned up.” Cass jumps to his feet, gathering the healing supplies in his hands. “It’s not as bad as it looks, thankfully.”
Azriel’s eyes don’t leave your face. “Your father?”
You lower your eyes to your hands, your fingernails of sudden interest to you. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
And you don’t. But as the words leave your mouth, you know you’re not referring to your father’s behaviour. And you think that somehow, Az knows, too.
He stares at you in silence, still breathing a little heavily. And as that silence becomes thick, almost uncomfortable, Cass catches on to it.
He pauses his movements in the kitchen, staring between you and Azriel. It becomes suddenly clear to him that there’s an elephant in the room, and both of you are refusing to glance at it.
You really, really don’t want him to leave you alone with Az right now. You need time to gather your thoughts and feelings and know what you’re not going to say—
“…Anyway…” He clears his throat loudly. “I’m going to head back to the dormitories while the night is still young.” He swivels towards you. “Do you need anything else?”
“I’ve got her.” Az answers before you can. “We’ll be fine here. Go have fun, Cass.”
And, well, Cassian doesn’t need telling twice. So typically of him, he finally scoops his dropped sandwich off the kitchen floor, blows on it, and eats half of it in one bite.
“Happy Solstice, fuckers.” He says around a mouthful of bread. “Come back to the party when you’re finished here.”
You have no plans of doing that. All you want is to climb into bed and cry. But you know there’s no getting out of whatever is about to follow.
“Thanks, Cass.” You murmur quietly, forcing a weak smile.
“Anything for you, sweetpea.”
With the remainder of his sandwich still in hand, his tall frame ducks out of the cottage. The closing of the door is a death knell.
Az stares at you. And then he’s rounding the couch, stopping just inches away.
For the first time in nine years, you’re not sure you can face him. There’s an oily feeling of…of humiliation, that coats you, and it may just worsen if you make eye contact.
“Are you alright?” He breaks the silence, his voice solemn, grave.
You nod. Twist your hands around each other just to give them something to do.  “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“Thanks.”
“I don’t mean it like that. But your lip—”
“Cassian saw to it, Az.” Finally, you force yourself to make eye contact. And for his sake — or yours — or whatever — you push your mouth into a watery smile. It hurts your lip and it hurts your heart. “It’s really not that bad.”
There’s a momentary pause. Perhaps he’s not expecting you to be so calm in the wake of such an awful day. Little does he know, it’s all a front. Self-preservation.
You almost — almost — flinch, when he steps closer and perches himself on the coffee table in front of you.
“I should have been there.” He presses his lips into a thin line as he studies the wound up close. “I’m sorry.”
You don’t want to talk about this. You can’t talk about this. You may just die if you do. You just…need the night to end. To go away.
And just as Azriel reaches out to brush a finger over your hurt lip, you’ve decided you’ve had quite enough.
You jump up way too quickly for it to be casual, clearing your throat. “Where is Kaeda?”
“…She’s still at the dorms…”
“You shouldn’t have skipped out on her like that, Azriel. It’s rude.”
“I explained to her that you needed me. She understood—”
You whirl around to face him. You dread to think what he might have told her. “Go back to her, Az.”
Does he know you’re begging him, not telling him? You’re not sure.
He studies you like…like he doesn’t understand your demeanour. And then he says, “I will when I’m done here.”
A brusque laugh leaves you. “There’s nothing to be done here. Cassian already helped.”
You see the words hit him. Part of you feels like a wretch for throwing it in his face. He’s done nothing wrong. He owes you nothing.
This is on you for letting your feelings get out of hand. Your eyes shutter, and you draw in a slow, steeling breath.
“I’m very tired, and I just want to go to bed.” You explain quietly. “And I appreciate that you interrupted your night to come and check on me, I do, but there’s nothing that can be done for me. I just…need to sleep.”
Az stares at you again. Swallows. “Then I’ll stay until you fall asleep—”
“Az. Don’t keep Kaeda waiting.”
You can see how torn he is. You almost feel bad. He wants to do right by everyone.
But he can’t do right by you. Not tonight. It’s too late for that.
And maybe that realisation dawns on him, because finally, he pushes to his feet.
“You know where to find me if you need anything.”
You won’t. But you nod, all the same. “Yes.”
“Lock the door.”
“I will.”
He strides to the door. Pauses with his fingers on the handle, like he wants to say something else.
But then he leaves.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
The cold hurts so good. Every inhale burns your lungs. Your eyes water against the brisk air.
Pushing yourself hard like this, working against the elements, is precisely what you need. You’ve been up here every morning for the past week, putting your body through its paces before the sky has even lightened.
You’ve got avoiding Azriel as much as possible down to an art form, and when you’ve no choice but to face him, your act of breezing nonchalance, or normality, is so convincing that you almost fool yourself.
Almost.
It’s a routine, if not a strange one.
You pant heavily through the exertion, gazing up through the towering trees as you take a moment to catch your breath. It seems that the harder you push yourself, the more your muscles burn, the less your heart aches. The quiet and solitude has been a welcome companion in the days since—
Snow crunches under boots. You stiffen at the approaching footsteps.
If the males training below catch you doing your exercises up here again, they may do more than just chew you out.
But through the trees, Azriel’s unmistakable form emerges in a halo of early morning light. The nature around you seems to pause and bask in his presence, and you can’t blame it one bit.
Gods, he’s beautiful. Painfully so. Gut-wrenchingly so—
It’s for that reason that you snap your front into place; the one you’ve spent the past week perfecting. You will simply act as you always have — as you always did before that first night you offered Azriel your help — and maybe, hopefully, you’ll even start to believe it.
Maybe it will stop hurting.
“Thought I’d find you up here.” There’s an edge to his voice that makes you think he’s waiting to follow your lead. He smiles tentatively.
You smile widely and hope it’s convincing. “I’d much prefer having smoother terrain to work on, but beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose.”
The rigidity of his shoulders ease. “How many times have you tripped over these rocks?”
“Oh, seven hundred, or so.”
He breathes a laugh, a little white cloud pluming in front of his face, and you do the same.
And it’s bad — it’s really bad — but your thoughts are immediately jumping to Kaeda and assuming her natural grace would hold its brilliance on smooth or rough terrain. There’d probably be no tripping, no falling.
You banish those images quickly.
Sometimes, you’re not sure whether you want to be her, or be in bed with her.
Azriel clears his throat, his face sobering. “Listen, I wanted to talk.”
Oh, gods.
Surely he’s not going to just…confront things, right here, right now, like a reasonable person. You’re not even slightly prepared for that. You claw at your mind in panic, searching for some way out of this besides tucking and rolling down the hill away from him—
“I have an invitation.” He says, and you pause. “Well — Kaeda does.”
Bizarre, that the first thought that hits you is a bleating, please don’t ask me to have a threesome.
You drag your mind straight back out of the gutter and will your face into neutrality. “Oh?”
“…Yeah…” Az rubs the back of his neck. “I know the two of you haven’t been properly introduced, but she’s throwing a party back in her home camp — Fenlaros — and she invited me and said I should bring some friends.”
For a moment or two, you simply don’t know what to say. Going into a rival camp is usually best avoided, given that Illyrian males will look for any excuse for a fight. You don’t know much, admittedly, about the Fenlaros Camp, but Illyrians are Illyrians, and that’s just a fact.
But it makes you question, for the first time, a thought that hadn’t so far occurred to you — why has Kaeda been hanging around Windhaven? You don’t even know the story of when she came here, or for what reason.
And that’s on you, you suppose, for wanting to know as little as possible.
“She doesn’t really know anyone here in Windhaven, besides me.” Az continues. “So she told me to bring you, Rhys and Cass along. I think she’s eager to get to know you.”
You’re silent as a thousand thoughts filter through your mind, one by one. So many things you suddenly want to ask, and yet what comes out is merely, “Fenlaros?”
Az nods. He seems to be studying your reaction closely.
“Is that a good idea? We’re not supposed to breach rival camps without express permission.”
“We have permission. Kaeda’s father is Lord of Fenlaros, and the party will be held at her dwellings. She tells me they’re a tad more civilised there than they are here.”
Hard to believe, of Illyrians. But who are you to talk? You’ve never ventured to another camp like she so boldly has.
You can’t exactly explain your hesitation, besides the obvious — subjecting yourself to being in the company of both Azriel and Kaeda seems unnecessarily cruel. But something else about it also just feels…odd. Just strolling into another camp as though that’s a done thing.
To Kaeda, you suppose it is.
“Look, you don’t have to come.” Az says, reading the caution on your face. “Rhys and Cass are eager — it’s our last chance to enjoy ourselves before training gets intense again. But I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with—”
“I’ll come.” You blurt. “Of course, I’ll come.”
Even Az looks a little surprised. He studies you, giving you a moment to retract. And then he smiles. “Alright. Great.”
Maybe going to a party with your friends is exactly what you need — doing something normal, something you would have done without thought before you created this mess for yourself.
Perhaps the key to getting past this is to just…pretend it doesn’t hurt, until it no longer does.
And perhaps getting to know Kaeda, making a friend of her, will even help.
“Listen, I need to get back.” Az tells you, glancing over his shoulder. “We’ll discuss the details later.”
Before you can reply, he’s reaching out and pulling you into a tight hug. His scent envelopes you, soothes and pains you in equal measure. You close your eyes against his chest and find yourself hoping — really hoping — that this ache will go away soon. Azriel’s embraces have always been a place of solace. You don’t want that to have changed.
Just as quickly, he pulls away, dropping a kiss onto your forehead. “I’m really glad you’re coming, Y/N.” He says. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
You’re vaguely aware of the non-committal response you give him. Your mind is suddenly screaming at you.
And as he turns and walks away, you can’t help wondering what the fuck you’ve just got yourself into.
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It’s high up in the skies, two nights later, that the true regret begins to seep in.
Not just because the idea of this party makes anxiety coil tightly in your gut, like something in the air whispers to you that tonight will be a total shit show.
It’s the humiliation that hits you on the way there. An itchy kind of humiliation that you haven’t allowed yourself to feel for a very, very long time.
Not far in front of you, Cassian flies freely, the wind stirring his hair. He always wears the same expression while flying, one that’s a combination of elation, freedom and pride.
A small distance ahead of him, Azriel, too, is the picture of soaring grace. And at his side, Kaeda is the same. Her brilliant hair is like a streak of crimson blood that’s been smeared on the night landscape.
And you — you have to be carried by Rhysand. Like a youngling.
You stopped pitying yourself a long time ago for what your father did to you, the way he stole your ability to fly before you ever really had the chance. It was one of those things you had to come to terms with, because you’d never be able to change it.
That old feeling is returning with a vengeance, now, eating you up from the inside. Seeing Az be able to fly alongside a female, something you’d never be able to do—
“I’ve never been to the Fenlaros Camp.” Rhys speaks into your ear, ripping you out of your thoughts. From the way his fingers rub soothing circles into your hip, you know he didn’t miss your bleak expression.
You fix your gaze on the sprawling landscape below. Noises are drifting up to you, becoming louder. You must be close.
“Az says there’s nothing to be worried about.” You answer quietly. “But do you really think all will be well? It doesn’t take much for the three of you to find trouble when there’s alcohol in your system. If you land yourself in deep shit, you’ll be punished.”
His violet eyes sparkle with mischief. “I’m the High Lord’s son — their future High Lord. Everyone is too scared shitless to punish me.”
That’s not entirely true, and he knows it. You shoot him an unamused glance. “Rhys—”
“Hey.” He cuts you off, squeezing your waist. “Look.”
Your eyes fall below, and you pause — blink.
War camp is not the correct term to describe what you’re descending towards.
Windhaven is a war camp. Windhaven is brutal, and cruel, and — quite frankly — unpleasant. You can spend a lifetime there and never feel at home amongst the crumbling, sparse buildings and watchful eyes.
Fenlaros is a small town.
You glimpse barracks and training rings, an armoury and a common hall — all things that Windhaven has. But Windhaven doesn’t have the pristine, secure buildings, looking as new as if they were built yesterday. Warm glows emanate from the inside out, and it feels almost ludicrous to consider that this is a place built to train for war. It just looks like…like a place someone could call home.
You’re close enough to pick up the sounds of music and laughter — all sounds of a place that’s lively despite the late hour. It’s Kaeda’s lead that your three friends follow, and it doesn’t surprise you one bit when she begins a smooth incline to what looked, from above, to be the largest, grandest building in the place.
Suitable dwellings for a Lord and his family, indeed.
Rhys is the last to touch the ground outside of the building. As he sets you down, Cassian lets out an approving whistle.
“This certainly beats the dormitories.” He says, and Kaeda grins.
“Welcome to Fenlaros.” Is all she answers.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Nothing is ever as bad when the alcohol begins to flow. You even start to vaguely feel like…like you might actually enjoy yourself. The house is so big, filled to the brim with so many people, that you’ve only seen Azriel and Kaeda a couple of times in passing.
This sets off a tiny little battle in your innermost thoughts. Part of you wants to know what they’re up to. The other part of you really fucking doesn’t.
But so far, the people of the Fenlaros Camp are pleasant enough that you’re plied consistently with conversation, too occupied to wonder what might or might not be happening elsewhere in the building. You may just survive this party yet.
You’re just taking a moment to grab yourself another drink when you feel a touch on your shoulder. You turn, and you almost start at the sight of Kaeda smiling at you.
Gods, she really is beautiful.
“I feel like I haven’t had a chance to speak with you properly.” She says, and she’s right. There were very brief official introductions when she arrived to guide you all to Fenlaros, but so far, there’s been no one-on-one.
A fact of which you don’t know whether you’re relieved or disappointed.
“This place is…not like Windhaven.” You breathe a laugh. “Thank you — again — for the invite.”
“Of course. Azriel and I have been getting to know each other for a few months now. That’s all it is so far, and I don’t know where it might go, but I’d like to know his friends as well.”
Enough alcohol has settled into your system that the mention of Az’s name only gives a small twinge. You grin back at Kaeda. “It’s a relief to have another female around.”
“Gods, I’ll bet.” Her laugh is so, so brilliant. Like trickling water or birdsong or something. “Has it really been just the four of you all this time?”
“Pretty much. Since we were nine. A few odd love interests have come and gone, but nothing ever lasted.”
“Well.” She smiles. “Perhaps my arrival in Windhaven was a blessing in disguise.”
“I meant to ask, actually, what brought you there in the first place—”
“Don’t look now, but I think you may have bagged yourself an admirer.”
You pause at the interruption, your thoughts slow to catch up. And then you’re following Kaeda’s gaze to a group of boisterous males. One of whom is eyeing you with an intense hunger. As your eyes meet, one side of his mouth tips up into a smirk.
“That’s Thedis.” Kaeda tells you. “I’ve known him since we were younglings. He’s a good male.”
The way he’s drinking you in makes you not really care, in that moment, whether he’s a good male or a fucking terrible one.
“Listen, I’m going to go find Az.” Kaeda tells you, and her eyes glitter. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
You give each other your names, and it’s all heavy petting from there.
Thedis doesn’t provide much in the way of conversation, but then that doesn’t matter when the music is loud, and the packed room is dancing, and he’s grinding against you.
He spins you in his arms, hands palming at your hips. You lean into the touch, knowing that his eyes are all over every one of your movements. He’s desperate for you. You have him eating out of the palm of your hand.
But it’s a different pair of hazel eyes that find yours from not far away. A more peculiar pair that you know so well.
Azriel dances nearby, Kaeda moving against him in a similar manner. But he stares at you. Intensely stares at you. The way his eyes rove over your outfit makes you feel like you’re actually wearing something worth marvelling over, and you didn’t just have to make do with what clothing you keep at Rhysand’s mother’s cottage.
The velvet top is pretty, though. Cinched at the waist and accentuating the curves of your breasts. You’re not certain if Thedis has stared at your face or your cleavage more.
But does it really matter, when you’re both aiming for the same, mindless goal, only desiring one thing from each other?
He surely doesn’t seem to think so as his hands explore your body. Azriel watches the entire thing with an unreadable expression.
You rip your gaze away, force it elsewhere. The room is so full that the air is stuffy, and your head spins a little. Against the far wall, a male has his tongue down Rhysand’s throat. They’re touching each other so desperately that it wouldn’t surprise you if they whipped their clothes off and began fucking there and then. The male would wear it as a badge of honour that he’d been with the future High Lord. Amongst the dancing bodies, Cassian is getting a similar treatment from a pretty, blonde female.
One song morphs into the next, and this one is faster, more frenetic. It spurs the couples around you on, and a sensual charge fills the space as if the damn lute players are strumming an aphrodisiac straight into the room.
Thedis slides his hands down to your ass, and he squeezes, lowering his head to brush his lips against yours.
“Let’s find somewhere more private.” He breathes onto your mouth. And he adds, without filter, “I want to fuck you.”
You tilt your head up, aiming to make contact with his lips.
The kiss never lands.
Everything happens too fast to register. But suddenly, Thedis is on the floor, and Azriel is on top of him, and the shadowsinger’s fist goes flying into his face.
Complete chaos erupts from there. Some people are darting out of the way, while others form a circle around the two males on the ground. The music stops, replaced by loud jeering and whoops of excitement. Azriel delivers a second punch, and Thedis returns it with one of his own, and then they’re rolling on the floor and you don’t know what to do.
“Azriel, what the fuck?” There’s no way he hears you above all the noise. You look around for Rhys, Cass, Kaeda, fucking anyone, but they all must be lost in the fray, the pushing and shoving.
You swear loudly, and you’re jostled this way and that as you push through people and try to reach the fight. You’re shoved forward just in time to see Azriel’s shadows snake around Thedis’s throat and squeeze—
“Azriel!” You snap. You try to grab the back of his shirt, but someone is grabbing the back of yours, trying to stop you from stopping him. You round on the Fenlaros male, shoving him away from you. “Do not touch me.”
And fuck, that’s the worst thing you could have done.
It doesn’t take much for Illyrians to start a fight. Male, female, it doesn’t matter — they’re a violent people, and as soon as you hit them with a punch or a shove, they’re accepting it as a provocation.
Which would be bad enough in Windhaven, where you’ve seen things get out of hand time and time again.
But you’re not in Windhaven. These aren’t your people. You’re in Fenlaros. And there’s now two members of Windhaven going up against two members of Fenlaros.
They take it as an affront from a rival camp.
And all hell breaks loose.
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azriel tags: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @jjlevin @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson @spikertrash @kindagoldylocks @barbiezambie @kht1998 @soupghoul @nyctophiliawitch @gracie1234567891011 @gaymistakeboi @luvmxo @rinalouu @microwaveallthedemons @starlightshowdown
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foreveralbon · 3 months
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throwback thursdays
everyone loves to see their favourite grid family - even if it’s just in the comments
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agirlinracingcars
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liked by maxverstappen1, jensonbutton, mickschumacher and 101,356 others
agirlinracingcars hey! i heard some of u are new here… so meet the fam! i’m y/n, a girl in racing cars, sometimes called ‘missy’.
slide 2 is my dad jenson ‘hey, did you know this is called coquette?’ button n slide 3 is my other dad (non-biological but i think they’re lying to me) nando ‘grab the keys, kid, i’ll bust you out of here’ alonso.
then there’s uncle mark ‘let me tell you about the time your dad and i…’ webber, and other uncles, lewis ‘you’re doing it wrong’ hamilton, and seb ‘then how the fuck do i do it’ vettel
n finally my best friend (but more so brother) mick!! 🫂🫂🫂
(and a very special mention to guys in the last three photos, they’re pretty cool too 😊)
view all 5,938 comments…
agirlinracingcars GUYS i swear i would’ve added kimi but he didn’t want me to be nice on main
jensonbutton love you missy ❤️ liked by agirlinracingcars
user1 BUT MORE SO BROTHER
user2 that photo of jenson I CANT 😭😭
user3 i need the nando lore wdym he busted you out of somewhere tell us pls pls
mickschumacher you’re being nice on the feed
mickschumacher this is weird
mickschumacher take this down
agirlinracingcars never
oscarpiastri amazing to have always been racing with you, so excited to race with you even more!!
agirlinracingcars thank youuu osc
charles_leclerc arthur gets a mention but not me???
agirlinracingcars i’ve known you two days, come back when i make another one of these
landonorris add me in the next one too
agirlinracingcars landonorris bet
user4 she loves them all
user5 oh so they’re her DADS liked by agirlinracingcars
user6 PREMA BOYS MENTIONED!!! i repeat: PREMA BOYS MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🗣️
logansargeant fuck yeah, frederikvestiofficial it’s us man 🔥🔥
premaracing you’ll always be our girl missy
officialmpmotorsport back off 🤺🤺
alphatauri walk away slowly… both of you
user7 not admins fighting over her 😭
user8 adding daniel is kind of rude if you ask me
user9 they’re all friends and danny has literally said there’s no harsh feelings. ur making smth out of nothing
fernandoalo_official
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tagged: jensonbutton, aussiegrit, lewishamilton, sebastianvettel
fernandoalo_official that time when…
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agirlinracingcars dads?
jensonbutton yes daughter?
sebastianvettel my favourite child
lewishamilton hi y/n ☺️
aussiegrit hey, i’m an uncle at best
fernandoalo_official hello 👋
agirlinracingcars DADS 😁
user1 DADS 🥹🥹😭😭
user10 you look short fernando
user11 21 championships between them, their daughter is going to do fucking amazing
agirlinracingcars now that you’ve said it, i can’t let you down girlie 🙏🏼
mickschumacher added to their story!
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[caption: who is this weirdo and get her out of my phone please]
☆✩☆
series masterlist | general masterlist
@luckyladycreator2 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @storminacloud @ironmaiden1313 @hiireadstuff @starssfall @leilanixx @gwginnyweasley @juniper-july19 @myxticmoon @darleneslane @wcnorris @whoselly @landosgirlxoxo @disneyprincemuke @namgification @mellowarcadefun @sam-is-lost @glitterquadricorn @sebastianstansblog @judespoision @eugene-emt-roe @lightdragonrayne let me know if you’d like to be added to the series taglist!
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heizouology · 10 months
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˗ˏˋ tattoo artist kaveh and piercer alhaitham ´ˎ˗
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags: nsfw, kaveh x afab reader, alhaitham x afab reader, kaveh x afab reader x alhaitham, threesome, double penetration, lots of praise and aftercare (kaveh), slight sadism (alhaitham), degradation (alhaitham).
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ notes: kaveh and alhaitham are roommates and work at the same tattoo and piercing studio. i imagined kaveh’s tattoo style to look like @/zihwa_tattooer’s work on instagram. i’d sell an organ to be tattooed by her, i’m a whore for fine line omg.
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❛ kaveh ༉‧₊˚
kaveh is so insanely pretty and he’s got the prettiest tattoos too. simple, aesthetic, black fine line designs are placed in certain parts of his body - his arms, hands, and back, complimenting his features instead of overpowering them. you can’t help but admire them every time you see him, which he doesn’t mind - he loved the attention you give him. he also has few cartilage, adorned with gold leaf and feather themed jewelry, all done by alhaitham.
a month into your relationship, he gave offered to give you a tattoo, free of charge. unsure of what to get, he picked out a few designs from his flash that he thought would look nice on you. you settled on a simple butterfly below the back of your neck, a place he recommended, as it’s one of his favorite places to kiss you. the process was pretty painful but kaveh’s steady and light hand, along with his calming praises and small talk, made it a lot better. also, his hair was up in a clip, which was a little treat for you as well - you loved it when he wore his hair like that.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
during sex, kaveh always prioritizes your pleasure over his own. he's so gentle with you, constantly mumbling little praises and encouragement as you ride him, caressing your back with a feather-light touch and helping you keep a steady rhythm. he loves you so, so much, and hates to see you in pain - he constantly checks in to make sure you're alright, making sure you know your safe word, etc. he remembers all of the places that make you feel good, all of your favorite positions, and all of the little praises you love to hear.
he'll eat you out before fucking you with his dick, making sure that you're all nice and wet for him. he loves it when you tug on his hair, urging him to continue. your moans are like music to his ears, fueling his desire to bring you as much pleasure as possible.
kaveh’s a switch, though he prefers giving rather than receiving. when you want to be dominant, though, he’ll make the sweetest moans, begging you for more. he loves it when you mark him up with hickeys, and will wear his hair up to show them off the day after, letting everyone know that he’s yours. he’s so happy and grateful that he’s loved by someone like you, and treasures every little mark you give him, knowing it’s a symbol of your love.
he thinks you’re the most beautiful person in the world as you’re coming down from your high. he never lacks in aftercare - he knows how much you need reassurance and love afterwards, so he’s quick to pull you into his embrace, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he caresses all of the places he knows will be sore later.
“you’re already beautiful, but i think you’d be even more beautiful with a few tattoos,” he whispers as you lay against his chest. his hand goes to cover yours, his thumb rubbing over your outer hand and wrist, a little smile forming on his face as he imagines designs for you. “a floral design here would look so pretty. imagine us holding hands, tattoos showing and all.”
his hand then moves to your side, tracing it with his fingers. “then, maybe one here as well, starting from here and extending all the way up here,” he explains, starting from your waist and ending next to your breast. “we can add little snakes or cute butterflies to the design. make you a beautiful little garden.”
secretly, he dreams of getting matching tattoos with you as your relationship progresses. he’s drawn out some ideas based off of your shared interests that he’ll show you when the time comes, but for now, it’s his little secret.
the next day, he'll invite you over to his studio after hours to work on your new tattoo. besides loving aftercare in bed, he cares for your tattoo aftercare as well. he’ll constantly be nagging at you to not scratch it, carries aquaphor with him just in case you need to reapply, and once it’s healed, he has a small little bottle of sunscreen for when it’s exposed to the sun, knowing that you always forget to put some on.
he doesn’t want his little piece of art getting ruined, especially if it’s on such a beautiful canvas as yourself.
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❛ alhaitham ༉‧₊˚
alhaitham is so fucking hot. he usually wears basic, black t-shirts and tank tops, showing off his bulky tattooed arms. his upper body is covered in bold tattoos - usually traditional, though he does have a sword tattoo on his forearm from kaveh. he's got a side labaret, a tongue piercing, and a ton on his ear - industrial, helix, you name it. on his large, veiny, tattooed hands are a collection of silver rings, not a single finger plain.
when the two of you began dating, you said you've been interested in getting a septum for a while, though you were still on the fence about it - you were scared about the healing process and if you'd even like it. you got your ears pierced when you were young, so it would technically be your first piercing. he offered to do it for you, and if you didn't like it, you can simply take it off. though, he assured you that you’d look beautiful with it. the idea got you interested, and he took you to the studio to get it done.
the piercing was quick, though it did hurt a little, especially since you didn't have the best pain tolerance. your eyes got a little watery, a single tear falling. it was a little embarrassing for you, though alhaitham guiltily thought it was kind of hot. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a sadist - he never has these thoughts while piercing his clients, but seeing you like this was different. after putting in your jewelry, a cute little gold clicker, he quickly excused himself to grab you a cup of water, though it was mainly to calm himself down.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
he fucks you hard and rough. he loves seeing you beg and will often deny your orgasm to see you all needy, crying for him to let you cum. he loves holding your wrists so he has complete control over you. he thinks it's so cute that you're so small and weak in comparison to him - it fuels his lust to break you and then spoil you afterwards.
he loves to degrade you, too. he'll call you a whore while fucking you mercilessly, saying you're such a slut for him and his cock. he'll never say anything meant to hurt you, though. if he notices his degrading goes too far, he'll apologize and make it up to you, toning down the roughness and slipping in a few praises instead.
during one of your sessions, he has you standing in front of the bathroom sink, holding onto the counter for your dear life as he's pounding into you. he holds your chin so you're forced to stare at the lewd sight, kissing your sensitive ear and neck as he does so.
"look at how cute you are," he coos with a low voice, grunting as he thrusts into you. his hand moves to cup your breast, giving your nipple a little pinch, causing you to gasp in pleasure. "you'd look so pretty with piercings here. have you considered getting them done?"
his hand cradling your chin moves down to hold your other breast, flicking your nipples. "imagine how good they would feel while we fuck," he mumbles, his warm breath against your ear as he stares at your reflection with you. "of course, i'll pierce them for you - don't want any other man seeing you like this," he whispers, giving you a kiss on the cheek. "what do you think?"
you're too fucked out to say anything, so you nod. he smiles as one of his hands travel down to your stomach, his index finger stopping on top of your belly button.
"and maybe one here. you'd look so pretty with one, and you'd get to wear more of those tiny shirts you like so much," he mutters. you told him you've been interested in wearing clothes that show your midriff, though you're self-conscious about showing your stomach. he would assure you that you'd look fine every time you bring it up, though it wasn't enough to boost your confidence. “so, so pretty," he purrs, circling his finger over it and giving your cheek another kiss, before his hands travel down even further.
his hand stops at your clit, slowly rubbing it with one hand as he holds your chin again with the other. "and maybe a piercing on the hood here, too. wouldn't it feel so, so, so good here? the smooth metal rubbing against your clit as i fuck you. imagine how sensitive you'll be when i put a vibrator against it," he teases, increasing the intensity of his fingers. "and imagine how hot you'd look with one. a little secret between you and me.” the idea of getting a clitoris hood piercing was never on your mind, but with the way he described it pushed you off the edge, and you were forced to watch your reflection as you cum.
"that's my girl," he whispers, watching you with a smile as you tremble from the intense pleasure, his hands moving to your waist to hold you steady.
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❛ alhaitham and kaveh ༉‧₊˚
god, fucking the two of them at the same time would feel so good. while you're dating one of them, the other notices the two of you having sex in their room and can't help but join in.
while kaveh's so gentle with you, making sure you're alright and giving you plenty of kisses and praises, alhaitham is merciless, manhandling and degrading you. it’s the perfect balance between being spoiled and being ruined, and you’re in love with it. the two of them are competing to see who can fuck you best, and you're unsure of who's winning - your lover or his roommate.
you lay on the bed as alhaitham opens your legs, kissing from your stomach down to your folds. he sucks roughly on your clit and prods his tongue into your hole, causing you to feel his piercing against you. the pleasure is intense, almost too much as he slips two fingers in, fingering you quickly and deeply, abusing your g-spot. he runs his tongue on your clit, making you feel his hard tongue piercing, causing you to go insane in pleasure.
as alhaitham bullies your pussy, kaveh’s behind you, giving you the much needed kindness you weren’t receiving from alhaitham. he hushed you as he lovingly kisses your ear, nibbling and sucking on your earlobe. his hand travels down to your breasts, groping them slowly so as to not overstimulate you, but rather enhance your pleasure.
with alhaitham’s aggressive oral and kaveh’s sweet care, you find your high approaching, and they both know it by the way your body reacts to them. alhaitham speeds up his fingers and licks as kaveh teases you with his hot breath against your ear, and you find yourself cumming hard on alhaitham’s tongue.
the two of them let you catch your breath, and once you do, kaveh is gently turning you around so you’re facing him, taking off his pants to reveal his hard cock. he scoots down, resting his head on the pillows as he guides you to sit on his dick. you lace your fingers with his, slowly sinking down onto his dick while he sings little praises for you.
“angel, you’re taking me so well,” he gleams, watching as you fully bottom out. “so perfect, so, so perfect.” he says, pulling you down to his chest as he thrusts up into you.
“quit babying her, she’s a slut,” alhaitham bickers. “she knows how to put a dick in her.”
“shut your damn mouth, you’re just jealous because you’re not the one fucking her right now," kaveh sneers, and though his words were harsh, he didn't change his tender touch on you.
alhaitham sighs, watching as kaveh fucked you with so much care, whispering into your ear and drowning you in kisses. he’s so vocal during sex, something that alhaitham wasn’t. getting turned on by the scene, he takes off his pants, stroking his dick.
after a while, when you were soon nearing your high, you noticed that alhaitham was gone from your side. from behind, you feel someone prod a finger at your other hole, prepping you for his cock. it was alhaitham. you're scared of the pain - you weren’t used to getting it there and it hurts a little, which kaveh notices and quickly stops.
"i... i can't..." you stutter, holding onto him. alhaitham slows down, though his fingers don’t leave your hole.
"it's alright, babe," kaveh hushes, stroking your cheek. "it'll feel better soon, okay? you'll feel so good with the two of us inside of you. can you do it for us? i know you can handle it," he says. from behind, alhaitham's kissing your back, paying special attention to your tattoo. you nod, causing kaveh to smile and kiss your forehead. “thanks, my love.”
kaveh thrusts into you again, this time more slowly and deeply. alhaitham continues prepping your asshole, adding in another finger. once he thinks you're ready to handle him, his fingers leave you, being replaced by the tip of his cock, which stretched you way more than his fingers did.
"just breathe, okay?" kaveh says, holding your hand. as alhaitham slowly inserts himself in, kaveh's mumbling little "i love you"s and "you're doing so good for us" against your lips, wiping away any tears that fall. the stretch is painful, but you know it'll be all worth it in the end.
after a few careful thrusts from alhaitham, careful to not hurt you, the pain soon turns into pleasure as you get used to his size. your winces became moans, and you hold onto kaveh. he asks if it’s okay for him to start moving again, and you nod, allowing him to pick up where he left off.
"enjoying it already? you sure are a slut, huh," alhaitham grunts from behind, increasing the intensity of his pace. their thrusts aren't synced - while one pulls away, the other is going in, causing you to be constantly stimulated. it feels so good feeling so full, and you soon find yourself reaching your high, gripping onto kaveh's shoulders for stability.
they fuck you through your orgasm, slowing to a stop once you’re done. they let you take a little break as they litter kisses all over you. you snuggle up against kaveh, sapped of energy, until you hear alhaitham laugh as he lifts you up so your back is pressed against his chest.
"think you're done already? we haven't even came yet," he teases, making your heart sinks. you were already so tired, so fucked out, but you weren’t done yet? you'll be having a long night.
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grimm-writings · 1 month
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Hiiii, I would like some Dungeon Meshi headcanons please! Reader is the oldest human in the main group and they're really motherly towards them. Like they're always fretting over their well beings and acting like a doting parent. And if you want, could you also add that Chilchuck's kinda into that so he falls for them?
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That's all thank you!
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…ft! chilchuck x gn! reader, platonic touden party & reader
…tags! fluff, some crack, headcanon format, mild manga spoilers, reader is referred to as ‘mom’ once
…wc! 847
…notes! the way i nearly screeched in delight when i got this ask. chilfuckers i’m one of you let me in. you used they/them for the reader so i’m gonna assume this is a maternal gn reader! i hope it is for your liking ty for being my first request 🥺
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Having a more wise, of age individual in the party is always a plus when you need some advice.
And when most people in the party are absolute lunatics.
You have your hands full trying to stop Laios acting recklessly in action, or doting on Marcille when her emotions get the best of her.  Goodness, even Senshi has your hair going grey from how he gets sometimes!
Laios just sort of… lets your doting happen.
He can get slightly grumbly if you get too mad at him.  Still, it’s not the worst thing a parental figure could do.  Go easy on him!
Marcille takes psychic damage upon learning your age.  She’s staring at you, at the age in your face, and taking the years into account.
It’s simply not computing.  You… You should be, like, a pre-teen or something!  Human ageing baffles her once again.
Still… she is incredibly receptive to you doting on her.  She’s more of a carer on instinct but she finds herself falling into you whenever her spoons are low.
Senshi just sort of hits you with the “why tho” when you try fretting.  It’s actually slightly frustrating.  Still, you can recognise his wisdom and take a step back.  He can take care of himself… most of the time.
Izutsumi… oh the dear girl.
You must have recognised the signs immediately.  Her lack of table manners, her reclusive nature… she’s so young.
The girlcat was a bit prickly to any doting at first.  You would probably remind her a bit too much of Maizuru for her liking.
With time, perhaps sometime after he run-in with her succubus, Izutsumi would be a bit more welcoming of how you treat her.  It’s… It makes her feel nice, or whatever.
She accidentally calls you Mom once.  She was mortified as Marcille squeals in delight and Laios laughs to himself.  You couldn’t even ask if she thinks of you as a mother figure before she’s already stomping away to hide in a corner somewhere.
Then there’s Chilchuck.  Oh, what to say about him.
You probably thought he was a young human at first too.  He’s taller than other half-foots after all.  Still, as soon as you even try to act maternal around him, he yells at you and tells you he isn’t a kid.
Keep your distance for a bit, and he’ll warm up to you again.
Watching you do your thing with the other party members will have him commenting that he has no idea how you can just keep up with everyone like this, and he’s the one with three kids here.
You just smile gently and reply that it helps you keep stability knowing everyone in the party is doing alright.  At that, Chilchuck will give you a glance, and internalise your words.
Upon Izutsumi’s arrival into the party, Chilchuck’s perspective on you begins to alter slightly.
Initially, he respected you a fair bit.  You were more like the two older co-workers constantly giving each other looks at the younger ones’ antics.
But he sees you with this child he also has to admit he’s grown attached to.  You really were a natural maternal figure to Izutsumi.  He watches you tend to her sometimes, a smile slowly curling on his lips.
Then he catches himself, and his blood runs cold.
…Ohhh, shit. 
Chilchuck is level headed most of the time, but when he’s panicking he can’t keep his cool to save his life.
Around you, he becomes more… frantic, in a way.  Lecturing others to give you a break, even if he can just have a small talk with you.  If asked what’s up he’d raise his voice defensively and say it doesn’t matter.
One time, Izutsumi decided she can’t choose between her two favourite human heaters, and practically forced you and Chilchuck to sleep on either side of her.  Even with the girl slotted in between you two, Chilchuck was internally losing his mind at the closeness.
He even lets you dote on him a bit more again.  Not too much, though.  He’ll accept the occasional checking in and headpat but that’s it!
You can very easily pick up on his feelings for you.  It’s not hard to notice the shift in his attitude.
Well… It’s not like you can complain.  You may offer to help him out with his future shop once you’re out of here, giving him a slight wink.
Cherish how red his face gets.  He won’t let anyone else embarrass him so easily.  Maybe pinch his cheeks if you’re feeling brave, but he may swat you away depending on his mood.
At the end of the day, he’ll give you a small smile, and wonder aloud where the Hell all the party would be if it weren’t for you.
(Bonus!  I think Falin would also super appreciate your presence.  She’s the kind to simply take her own parents’ treatment of her and shrug it off in a ‘it is what it is’ sort of way.  Your doting attitude would leave her slightly discombobulated, but she’s very welcome to it.)
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Text
A kiss amidst the bookshelves
pairing: Remus x reader
word count: 2k
tags / description: friends to lovers, first kiss, steamy kiss, bookish Remus and reader, best friend Sirius, friendship fluff, romance fluff, gn
“You look like you’re about to murder him,” Sirius snarks, falling into the sofa next to you amidst the noise of the party surrounding you, following your gaze across the room.
“I…” you begin your routine protesting but give it up. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, surprised. 
“You…?”
An exasperated sigh, then, “I… it… ugh,” you drop your face into your palms and speak into them, “Murder would simplify things.” Sirius barks a laugh in response. 
“Do you want an accomplice in offing our best mate?” His smile is conspiratorial, but there’s something in his eyes behind his typical teasing tone. 
“Would you mind? I don’t know if I can go through with it,” you joke seriously. “If you do the killing part, I promise I’ll help hide the body.” Sirius, smiling but knowing, pulls you into him, his arm around your shoulders, your head coming to rest on him. 
“To be fair, that would probably be the more difficult part,” he continues, and he feels your chuckle against his chest. “I know I can take him, but our Moony is pretty tall; it might pose a problem when we have to move him after.”
An affirmative “hm” is all you offer in response, basking in his warm comfort silently for a moment. 
“Or…” he cuts the quiet. “And hear me out here, love. I know homicide will seem the more appealing option initially… but you could, you know, tell him how you feel.” 
“Murder. I choose murder,” you deadpan.
“Y/NNN,” he whines with the tinge of a scold. 
“Siriusss,” you mimic childishly. 
He sighs and says, “Darling, I know it’s scary,” he squeezes you, “but your miserable pining is seriously starting to bum me out. I don’t know how much more I can take honestly.” You pull away from him and shove his shoulder as he chuckles. “Alright, alright, sorry. I suppose I’m slightly concerned for your happiness as well.” The energy between you shifts palpably. You don’t get this side of Sirius much, and the gravity of it shakes you. 
“I can’t,” you whisper, looking down. 
“You can,” he responds immediately, gently pushing your chin up, his thumb stroking your jaw. 
“Everything alright?” a third voice, achingly familiar, startles you. You rush to wipe the ghosts of tears before turning to where he’s taking a seat on the arm of the sofa, looking down at you and Sirius. 
“All good, mate,” Sirius answers before you have to, and you grin gratefully at him. 
“Sure?” Remus checks, looking straight at you, feigning levity.
“Yeah, ‘course,” you say lightly. “How’s Mary doing?” you ask, nodding to where he had just been chatting enthusiastically to her across the room. You’d always suspected they’d had feelings for each other back in your school days. “Good, good,” he nods. “We were just catching up, hadn’t seen her in a while. I might show her the shop next week actually. Think she’ll enjoy it.” You stomach sinks at this. “Oh yeah?” you hear the strain in your voice, your efforts at hiding your dismay clearly failing. So you quickly add, “That’s great, Rem. I’m sure she’ll love it.” Remus — the Remus that can read you like a children’s book — squints his eyes a bit at you, confused by your tension, probably still pondering the moment he interrupted between you and Sirius. 
The shop. Your shop. Your favourite place on Earth. A place you thought of as yours and his. I mean, it was, technically, but you know. You’d opened the bookshop together about a year ago now, and business was tough but picking up. Though you weren’t making much money (yet, hopefully), you and Remus were the happiest you’d been in years, finally doing something both of you found joy in, and together no less.
“Speaking of,” you start, stretching. “I have some work I wanted to finish, so I think I’m going to get going.” “Now?” he asks in disbelief. “It’s late, love. I don’t remember there being anything urgent?”
“No, I know; it’s not.” You get up a bit awkwardly. Standing in front of where he’s perched on the sofa, you’ve gone from looking up at him to down. He really is beautiful from any angle, you think to yourself. You realize you’re staring; you don’t know how strangely, but you see he’s looking expectantly at you, curiousity gleaming in his deep brown eyes. “Urgent, I mean,” you stutter out. “It’s just that inventory I’ve been trying to finish up.” 
“You can do that tomorrow,” he tries. “I’ll help.” “No, it’s alright, Rem, really. I just feel like it now.” You smile a strained smile with fake ease but real warmth. Then, shaking off the heaviness of the moment, you give him a quick hug, turn to give Sirius a quick peck on the cheek goodbye, and head out. 
You like the shop at night, when it’s empty and quiet. Well, sometimes it’s empty during the day as well, to be honest, but there’s something about the night and the blanket the darkness provides. You especially like it when Remus is there with you, but it’s nice when you’re alone too. Just you and the books and the sense that the shelves that envelop you hold endless possibilities and infinite feelings you can just melt into. 
You walk down the cramped aisles for a few minutes, your eyes and your fingertips tracing the titles. When you stumble on a comforting favourite, you pull it down, and nestle into one of the two inviting armchairs you and Remus had set up in a cosy corner of the small space. 
If it were any other activity, you would have been shocked at how quickly you were immersed, leaving the heaviness of your love and your worries in the real world to be picked up again on your way out. You are shocked, however, when, as you flip a page, a low voice says, “Hard at work I see.” 
You jump, dropping the book, and screech, “Fucking hell, Remus! What the fuck? You scared the shit out of me.” He’s laughing like he can’t help himself as he kneels down in front of you to pick up the book, holding it in one hand and holding the other up in a gesture of guilty surrender. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” he chuckles. “It’s not like I was quiet coming in.”
“Well, I didn’t hear you,” you shoot angrily. “Clearly.” He’s grinning as he offers you the book. “Good choice,” he adds, giving it a little shake.
“Yeah, well, it’s comforting every time.” Your tone is easier now but still a little edgy as you grab the book and place it on the little table beside you. 
“Hm.” He sounds serious; it makes you turn to him instinctively; you look into his concerned eyes. “And why did you need comforting this time?” His voice is a syrupy whisper, and his question makes time stand still.  
Because I love you too much, you idiot, you think but don’t say. “I’m fine,” you do say. 
“You’re not,” he responds. You look away.
“I’m fine enough.” 
“Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” he pleads, putting his hand on your knee. “You’ve been weird all night.” “Don’t deny it,” he adds when you open your mouth to say something immediately. It’s not harsh. You close your mouth again, but don’t know what to say instead. 
“Did something happen?” he prods after several moments. You stay silent, but tears well in your eyes, transfixed on his. He whispers your name lovingly and brings his other hand to your cheek, stroking gently. You nod before you can think yourself out of it. “I messed up, Rem,” you whisper. “When?” he asks, all kindness. After a mirthless chuckle you say, “Around when we were twelve I think. Maybe even eleven.” His thumb stops its comforting motion in his confusion; his eyebrows are furrowed; one side of his mouth seems conflicted about whether to laugh or not. “I don’t understand,” he says finally.
“It’s your fault, really,” you half-laugh, wiping your eyes. “What?” He tenses and pulls away from you, concern elevated to fear in his eyes and voice.
“I didn’t mean,” you start, leaning forward and grabbing his hands in yours. “That’s not what I meant.” Your voice is still tinged in a cynical snicker, but he’s clearly not amused.
“What did you mean then?” It’s sharper, and it hurts. 
“I…” Another chuckle. “Y/N,” losing patience. 
“Fuck, this is hard.” You take your hands back and cover your face with them, kneading in frustration. A beat. He says your name again, just as firm but much more gentle, and reaches for your hands, holding them again. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I thought you knew that. We can work through anything, together… but you have to talk to me. Did I do something?”
You look back and forth between his eyes, hear Sirius’s voice in your head: “you can,” and take a deep breath.
“You can tell me,” he repeats, and you believe him… but can’t bring yourself to it. 
“I can’t,” you whisper, and you hate the familiar sound of it in your ears. You see his posture sink in defeat, but he doesn’t let go of your hands. 
“Can I show you instead?” you ask, terrified of what came next, but more terrified of never finding out. He nods eagerly and goes to stand up, but you squeeze his hands tighter and hold him in place. He settles back down where he’s knelt in front of you, staring at you intently. You shift to the edge of the chair, quite close to him now. One of your hands releases his and comes up toward his face. You hear him gasp as you run your fingertips along his cheekbone then along a prominent scar there. You keep going and run your fingers through his hair then let your hand rest there, on the back of his head among his soft brown curls. You look down at his lips. Your gaze lingers there, making your intention obvious as you move even closer to him. He’s stock-still as you approach, but when your nose touches his, he lunges hungrily forward to meet you. 
He moans into your mouth as his arms wrap tightly around your waist, and yours comes up around his shoulders. Your chests are flush now, your legs open wider to accommodate his kneeling form in between them, leaning into you completely, devouring you. His lips work against yours, exploring; his hands, intent but indecisive, travel from pulling you close to holding your face firmly against his, his thumbs lovingly pushing into your jaw, his fingers wrapped in your hair. You immediately fall into a rhythm, opening your mouths to each other. He tastes like chocolate, and you giggle at the realization. Remus instinctively smiles at the sound of your laughter and the slight withdrawal from your mouth gives him the opportunity to trail away from your lips, slowly along your jaw, down to your neck, licking and lingering. You bare your neck to him, your breathing coming more heavily now, your grasp on him tighter. You grip his hair and croon his name, and he moans loudly. He gives your neck a final, wet kiss and pulls back to look at you.
His eyes are dark and lidded; his lips swollen and moist; his hair is messy, and the look on his face is one you’ve never seen before. He looks giddy and lustful simultaneously. Pulling your face to his with a hand at your nape, he rests his forehead against yours and gives you a hungry kiss, fast but firm. He chuckles. 
“I still don’t understand.” “What?” you smile. 
“How is this a problem?” His thumb is caressing you; his smile is beaming. 
“I didn’t know if you felt it too,” you confess. 
A teasing tsk then, “Quite daft for the cleverest person I know.” He brings your mouth to his again. 
~
smutty pt. 2!
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