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ofthecaravel · 19 days

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Heaven In Time

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Bleeding Hearts, Angel Voices

Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Summary: The last supper. Or is it?

Tags: Religious trauma, hella guilt tripping/mentions of religious upbringing, internalized homophobia, sliiiiiight slut shaming, sibling fighting, slight sauciness

Words: 10k

A/N: As promised, here's the playlist, as well as the last chapter of this little series. Thank you all so much for being so sweet about it and I'm so happy you liked it!! Tell me all your thoughts!!! OH also, I'm aware that only Catholic priests really wear clerical collars, but I decided to include it because Josh is dramatic and would think it looks cute. Okay enjoy

“This is it?”

“Yup.”

“Wow. Somewhere along the way you failed to mention that it’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“It’s practically sinking into the lake, Dan.”

Already crabby, Sam really wanted to be able to trash the house looming in front of them. But for all its ghosts and lonely corners, Sam couldn’t write off the fact that his childhood home (and Jake’s new permanent place of residence, apparently) was and had always been a sight to behold. It wasn’t particularly flashy with its modest white paneling having been frayed by weather and stained with mildew, and it certainly wasn’t modern by any means. However, with the silver maples conspiring around it and a lakeside view from the bottom of the hill it rested on, the house with all its flaws and farmhouse style charm was enough to make Danny’s eyes widen.

“I didn’t know my parents had moved,” Sam noted softly, heart racing as he observed his brothers’ cars in the driveway and wondered where his dad’s station wagon was parked now.

“I’m sure Jake will fill you in on everything,” Danny assured Sam as he parked next to Jake’s crappy Volvo. He cut the engine and studied Sam’s apprehensive expression out of the corner of his eye, selfishly hoping that Sam would call the whole thing off and they could drive off towards the loving embrace of Danny’s own childhood home just beyond the state border. He knew his parents and sister would absolutely adore Sam, but he wasn’t sure that Sam’s brothers would welcome him as readily.

“Okay,” Sam blurted, smacking his hands against his thighs and letting out a fast exhale. “Quick overview before we go in.”

“Right,” Danny nodded. Honestly, he could use a refresher. It was always a struggle to get Sam to talk about his family like this.

“Josh is the oldest,” Sam started, beginning his list of points by marking them on his fingers. “Technically. He’s older than Jake by, like, I don’t remember, a couple of minutes. Super friendly, loud as fuck, took up my dad’s pastoral duties after he got deep into the televangelist bullshit that I’m sure he’s still doing now. He was a natural, of course, given that there’s nothing he loves more than the sound of his own voice.”

“Harsh.”

“Dude, trust me. You’ll get what I mean. Anyways, you’ve met Jake. Sort of. He’s very…passionate, which you’ve seen. Kind of hot headed, very one track minded. He basically runs the whole ministry from the shadows, even when Dad was still pastor. Josh gives the go ahead, but Jake’s the organizer. He’s busy 24/7 and has been since they were, like, 12.”

“Doesn’t sound very sustainable,” Danny commented. Sam let out a laugh and shook his head.

“It is not,” Sam agreed bitterly. “But he likes barking orders and playing puppet master, so I guess it works for him. And, I mean, school and youth group pretty much taught us that there was no other way for us to live other than doing church shit all day every day, so I can’t say I’m surprised he turned out this way.”

“Pretty relentless, huh?”

“Yup. Especially when your dad’s running aforementioned church and giving you shit for doing anything, I don’t know, childlike? Or for just enjoying stuff?”

“Definitely explains why Jake was such a dick about your cute ‘fit,” Danny said. “Those values trickle down if you let them, I guess. I still don’t think you had to change, by the way.”

“I definitely did,” Sam muttered, looking down at the plain jeans he’d pulled from his suitcase and the thin flannel he’d buttoned over his chest after their backseat tryst. “Josh would’ve lost his shit. No way he’d go full ‘Ooh, look at me, I’m a man of God and that means I get to preach with corporal punishment’ route, but he’d sure as hell think about it if I showed up in those shorts.”

“Baby,” Danny lamented, heart sinking as he watched Sam fiddle with a button while wearing a sullen expression. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” Sam insisted, reaching for Danny’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “For, you know, closure.”

“Okay,” Danny relented, still hesitant but trusting in Sam to know when enough is enough.

“Okay,” Sam echoed. “Okay. Okay, let’s do this.”

Sam pulled Danny in for a quick kiss of courage, bounced once in his seat, let out a nervous sound and then threw open the door and climbed out. Danny chuckled and got out, locking up the truck and watching with adoration as Sam shuffled towards the peeling front steps.

“One second!”

The voice came booming through the rattling front door after Sam had given it a timid knock to the beat of three. Almost instantly, Sam’s nerves flared with electrifying panic and he spun to face Danny.

“Actually,” Sam declared in a rushed, reedy tone. “Fuck this, let’s go.”

“What?”

Before Sam could drag Danny down the stairs and bail harder than anyone has ever bailed before, the door swung open with a melodramatic bang and then there was Josh. Danny could immediately see the startling resemblance between him and Jake, but there was something particularly unique about Josh that immediately set him apart. Danny assessed his tidy curls and the clerical collar nestled snugly at the base of his neck and knew it must be these physical differences, but he stood there puzzling nonetheless. Josh’s face was lit up with a plasticine cheer that seemed to be his resting expression, but at the sight of his deserter younger brother turning to him like a deer in the headlights, his face morphed into uncharacteristic shock. Once again, Danny stood in awkward silence as the useless mediator. This time around he had the good sense to step to the side before the situation devolved.

“Oh,” Josh said simply, his graceful hands rising to cup at the sides of Sam’s face with practiced theatrics. “Oh, praise be to God. Sammy. You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Sam repeated, already faltering under Josh’s fiery gaze. “Hi.”

“I can’t believe it,” Josh breathed, tears glittering in his eyes as he shook his head with wonder. “I just can’t even believe it’s really you. It is, right? Or are you some agent of the Lord sent to test my faith in His protection of you?”

“Pretty sure He’s not worried about your faith, Josh,” Sam muttered, grasping Josh’s wrists and lowering them. “I’ve been protected just fine. It’s me, I swear.”

“Thank God,” Josh blubbered, throwing his arms around Sam and pulling him into a crushing hug. Despite it all, Sam accepted it gratefully, crossing his arms behind Josh’s back and holding him just as hard. This was the reunion he’d been dreading the most, but his shame was temporarily assuaged in the comfort of his brother’s embrace.

Danny kept his silence as they hugged, but eventually Josh caught his eye and appeared to register that there was someone on the porch other than Sam for the first time.

“I’m sorry, I’m being rude,” Josh began after he let Sam go, wiping a tear with the heel of his palm and presenting his other hand to Danny. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Danny,” Danny introduced himself, giving Josh a firm handshake and smiling nervously. Even though so few words had been exchanged, Danny had to admit that it was enough to feel that Josh’s presence could quickly become overwhelming.

“Daniel,” Josh grinned, pleased. “I assure you our home tonight will be no den of lions.”

“Of course,” Danny smiled, completely disbelieving of Josh’s sentiment. “Pretty sure that was revealed to me in one of my many visions. …That is what Daniel did in the Bible, right?”

Josh’s laugh erupted out of his chest and he clapped Danny on the arm with an approving grip. Sam shared a look of surprised amusement with Danny, whose shoulders flickered with a shrug as Josh came down from his laughing fit.

“Good man,” Josh wheezed. “Ah, that’s funny. Am I right in assuming you’re Sammy’s companion in the travels I’m sure he’s had? The travels I simply cannot wait to hear about?”

“Correct.”

“I’m happy to hear it,” Josh beamed, flashing his wide smile back on Sam. “I knew this would happen, you know. That He’d send you a guardian angel to watch over you. I prayed for it.”

“I’m truly blessed,” Sam agreed, giving Danny a private, bashful smile while Josh became temporarily distracted by propping open the door.

“That you are,” Josh professed, gesturing into the house as he crossed the threshold again. “All of us are, really. Now I don’t want to keep you waiting on this drafty old porch, please, come in, come in.”

Josh went in first, flying ahead of Danny and Sam as the door closed behind them and the house swallowed them whole.

“Here we go,” Sam whispered, nearly inaudible. Josh guided them, humming and singing under his breath as he reached to graze his fingers against the walls of the hallway lined with crosses of all sizes and finish.

“It’s going good so far,” Danny whispered back. “He likes me.”

“Wait ‘til he finds out what kind of guardian angel you are,” Sam murmured. Danny flushed and snaked his arm behind Sam and gave him a pinch on his side, only inches away from the situationally appropriate angel wings messily inked on Sam’s lower back.

Sam bit back a muffled squeak and smacked Danny in the arm. He was ready to send another flirty whisper his way, but when they emerged in the kitchen, Sam froze up once again at the sight of Jake stationed at the stove. Jake’s hair had been relieved of its outdated ponytail and skirted over his shoulders in messy waves, swaying with motion as he tended to a pan.

“When you said surprise guests, I was certainly not expecting a surprise like this!” Josh cried, shaking Jake by the shoulder. “You drive me nuts.”

“You drive me nuts, it seemed only fair,” Jake smiled. “I’m surprised you saw me come home acting the way I was and didn’t immediately know Sam had something to do with it.”

Sam let out an offended little exhale from his nose and Jake finally regarded him and Danny, renewed tension stretching between them all as he gave them a curt, impersonal nod.

“You really came,” Jake noted plainly, gaze lingering on Sam before turning back to the stovetop, pushing sizzling green tomatoes around the skillet.

“You invited us,” Sam reminded him, cautiously approaching and watching him work. “Enthusiastically, actually. Is this Grandma’s recipe?”

“Yup,” Jake answered flatly, still refusing eye contact as the oil snapped and leaped when he flipped the tomatoes.

“It smells divine,” Danny piped up. Jake gave him a side eye that Danny honored with a nervous, polite smile, but Jake ultimately shut him down with empty air.

“It’s all divine in this house,” Josh followed up dreamily.

“Well, hopefully it doesn’t taste like ‘disappointment’,” Jake muttered pettily, bringing up Sam’s words from the gas station. Sam sighed and took a step back from Jake, who filled his space by moving from the pan to open the oven, poking noisily at a covered tray.

“Come on, Jake,” Sam groaned. “We come in peace. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“And I don’t want this catfish to char,” Jake countered. “Scoot.”

“I’ve scooted, thanks,” Sam frowned, taking another step back. “Why are you acting like we’re showing up uninvited? You literally asked us to come.”

“Hey, what has gotten into you two?” Josh interjected, finally absorbing his twin’s clipped tone. “We should be celebrating. And we have company, so if you could save us all the trouble of picking apart your rude semantics, that would be lovely. I mean, honestly.”

Jake let out a huff and continued working to pull dinner together, plunging the kitchen into icy silence as Sam sneered at the floor to prevent any tears from creeping up on him. Danny wanted nothing more than to hoist him up and carry him out of the house, but he watched helplessly as Josh came over to Sam and gently pulled him out of the room.

“You two can hash it out later, okay?” Josh whispered, and Sam nodded as they crossed the threshold into the wood paneled dining room. The dining table was set with four crisp placemats, all of them centered in the middle of the table under the flowering hands of the chandelier. It was odd for Sam to see, considering he’d never known the table to be set without a placemat at the head of the table for his father.

“Sorry,” Sam apologized, falling into old habits. “We ran into Jake at a gas station and it ended…weird. You know he can be kind of-”

“Snippy?” Josh finished for him, pulling out a bundle of cutlery from a drawer. “Righteous? Yes, he can be. Lord knows I know. He’s working on it. Been working on a lot since you left, actually. Some days I swear he out prays me.”

“When did Mom and Dad move?” Sam asked, changing the conversation while robotically accepting and laying down silverware as Josh handed it to him.

“Two months ago,” Josh replied nonchalantly. “Turns out Dad’s broadcast made its way to Nebraska and amassed a following there, so they picked up to be closer to his flock.”

“Nebraska?” Sam exclaimed, nearly dropping the bundle of forks in his hand. He swallowed the revelation with a shiver of relief and an equally strong wave of grief, no doubt felt by the lonely little boy he carried inside him. Sam realized with blank shock that there was a very good chance he would never see his parents again.

“So, what, they just up and left?”

“Yeah…”

“For Nebraska?”

Danny walked in then, unable to withstand Jake’s angry clanging for another minute.

“What’s in Nebraska?” Danny asked innocently.

“Our parents,” Josh explained with a weak smile. “I trust Sam’s told you about our Dad’s post preaching venture?”

“A little,” Danny lied. He’d heard plenty about what the Kiszka patriarch had been up to since retiring and passing on the torch of preacher to his oldest son: good ol’ American televangelism, complete with the incensed ramblings and an addiction to being on screen. From what he heard from Sam, this came at the cost of quality time with his family. Sam had assured him the blow was softened significantly considering they’d all been fruitlessly clamoring for his affection for their entire lives and were long accustomed to the scraps they’d been dealt.

“I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised,” Sam laughed flatly, shooting Josh a knowing look. “Lord knows Dad has the means to afford it.”

“Oh, here we go. I don’t want to hear your conspiracy theories, Sammy,” Josh replied sternly. “I have faith that every drop of his viewer’s donations go right to the Convention.”

“Right,” Sam muttered. “Just like the college fund did.”

Josh stiffened, bright eyes suddenly cast in shadow as he set a glass down on the table. Danny’s eyebrows silently rose in curiosity. He’d never heard mention of college.

“Always the firecracker, Sammy,” Josh said with a brusque laugh, recovering with shocking speed and slipping his cheerful mask back on with ease. Sam rolled his eyes and carried on doling out glasses and napkins, but Danny found Josh’s abrupt mirth disturbing and studied him from where he leaned in the doorway. Danny had felt quite certain in his assessment of Jake when they’d met, but with Josh, he couldn’t quite pin what it was about him that kept Danny’s attention.

Dinner had gone off without a hitch, much to the surprise of everyone at the table. There was a bit of a rough start when a chilly direction from Jake had Danny positioned at the seat farthest from Sam, one that also conveniently faced the portrait of Jesus on the wall. But after they’d all sat down, Josh had led them in a tearful round of grace praising Sam’s safe return and then insisted on hearing every single detail of their cross country journey. Knowing that “every single detail” would send both his siblings into cardiac arrest, Sam had regaled them with only the most entertaining stories. Danny felt his heart swelling in his chest watching Sam settle into his natural element, rolling his wrists in the air and grinning like a madman as he detailed engine mishaps and eccentric motel squatters. The biggest surprise of all was Jake slowly warming up as the conversation rolled along, never contributing more than a few words at a time but eventually offering up the smallest of smiles and persistent eye contact as his little brother rambled away.

“I just can’t believe it,” Josh noted brightly at the tail end of one of Sam’s stories. “You’re so bold now, Sams. I remember when you were such a little scaredy cat too scared to get the communion wafers from the back room by yourself. Now you’re out there roughing the wilderness and pushing cows off the road.”

“Trying to push cows off the road,” Daniel corrected with a smile, remembering how hard he’d laughed watching Sam push with all his might against a cow where its herd had blocked the road somewhere in Texas. “Emphasis on trying.”

“I pushed that big one with the brown spot!” Sam argued. “You saw! He went running!”

“He felt bad for you, Sammy.”

Jake let out a snort that set them all off into their own fits of laughter, save for Sam who open mouth scoffed and mouthed threats to Danny across the table. Despite his faint indignation at Danny poking fun at him, Sam felt a great rush at the light hearted mood that had settled over the room. For a split second, he thought of a world where they could eat dinner like this on a regular basis, but he held himself back from indulging in that hope and laid it to rest in a far corner of his mind as quickly as it had risen.

Sam found it to be a wise choice when the laughter died down and Josh, completely unknowingly, killed the mood.

“Is it a hassle to find churches near motels?” Josh asked with sincere interest. “Or is it nice to settle for one day a week when you’re always driving around all willy-nilly?”

Jake let out another snort and Sam and Danny made awkward eye contact across the table.

“They don’t go to church, Josh,” Jake answered for his brother. Josh blinked and Sam bowed his head, suddenly very interested in tearing at the seedy heart of the tomato at the end of his fork.

“I suppose we can be few and far between,” Josh nodded. “I don’t think it’d hurt to peek in on a general Christian service, though. It’d do the job if the Baptist radio stations don’t reach wherever you end up.”

“They don’t want to go to church, Josh,” Jake continued. Sam kicked him under the table and Jake shot him a snotty look, raising his eyebrows haughtily as Josh turned to Sam.

“Is that true?” Josh asked, sounding a little hurt.

“Did nobody here read the note I left?” Sam mumbled childishly, keeping his eyes down as Josh sputtered and looked between him and Danny. Danny couldn’t muster anything more than an embarrassed cough, also looking down but keeping his eyes firmly glued to Sam.

“I did, about a thousand times,” Josh insisted, shifting his entire chair to face Sam. “But I figured you’d, you know…well, maybe I don’t know.”

“I bet there’s a lot we don’t know,” Jake added, kicking back when Sam kicked him again.

“What are you, 12? Stop it,” Josh snapped, adding his own kicking leg to the fray. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You should’ve seen what he was wearing when I saw him,” Jake said conspiratorially.

“Jake, shut up!” Sam hissed. “You’re so fucking prissy.”

“Woah, language!” Josh scolded, throwing his hands up. “Everybody take a brea-”

“He was practically naked. From where I was, I actually thought he was a girl.”

“Okay, Jake, give it a rest,” Danny snapped, anger finally giving him the courage to speak up.

“I’ll “give it a rest” when you stop necking my brother in broad daylight, how about that, Florida?” Jake snarled, tossing his fork on the table with a furious clatter and crossing his arms. Danny’s mouth clamped shut at the same time Josh’s fell open. Sam let out a strained howl, staring daggers through his brother’s skull as Jake sent them right back.

“God, Jake, you’re so, so,” Sam stammered, insults piling in his mouth. “You’re so fucking jealous!”

Jake didn’t reply, but his eyes fluttered from the sting of Sam’s words. Sam had hit a nerve with sharp precision and they both knew it.

“What on God’s green earth is Jake talking about?” Josh asked, eyes glued to Danny where he wilted in his chair. Danny drew in a breath like he was about to answer, but they all found that the silence he gave instead was just as clear as if he’d spoken.

“Sam?” Josh asked, a little desperate. For some reason, he didn’t sound as deeply disappointed as Sam had imagined, and certainly not as mad as he’d feared.

“I hate you,” Sam whispered across the table to Jake, ignoring his other brother searching his face for something he’d missed entirely. “I said I didn’t want to fight.”

“Are we fighting, or am I just saying things that are objectively true?” Jake countered with eerie calm. “You don’t go to church. You dress like a girl. You’re screwing a total stranger. Anything else you’d like to add? Is he paying you, perhaps?”

Sam’s chair scraped loudly as he got to his feet and sent it banging against the wall. He crumpled up his napkin and threw it in Jake’s face before storming out of the dining room, leaving behind another frustrated cry that was cut off by the metallic clang of the front door. Josh turned to Jake with his own expression of genuine anger.

“Do you want him to leave again?” Josh growled, glaring him down before casting his eyes on Danny. “Daniel, I am so sorry. Please, forgive us.”

Jake’s face grew cloudy and sullen at Josh’s fury, clueing Danny into whose opinion he must value most in this world. He sank further in his chair when Josh breezed past him and followed Sam’s warpath out of the home, leaving Jake and Danny to sit side by side in their private rages after the door had slammed for a second time.

They sat there for a very long time. Danny wanted to run to Sam (he was always running to Sam, and he thought maybe he always had been) but knew that Sam needed Josh more than him. As much as he was not enjoying this trend of being left alone with Jake, he sat with the storm cloud beside him and did his best to steal glances and collect information without Jake’s knowledge. When they’d first encountered him, Jake had seemed so eager to fly Sam back home to the nest. He’d seemed almost understanding, or as understanding as someone like him could be, but it’d spun out within seconds. Danny was trying to figure out the exact moment that had turned him into a cold shouldered teenager so desperate to cut Sam down.

When slyly sliding his eyes to try and gauge Jake’s expression, Danny startled slightly to find that Jake’s focus had shifted from the wall to him. When he followed the low trajectory of his tired gaze, Danny saw that Jake was staring at…Danny’s scuffed cowboy boots. From the looks of it, he was tracing the stitchings in the brown leather. Lost in a daydream, maybe? Danny considered with a note of private amusement that Jake might be looking at his boots and tucking himself into a fantasy of cowboys and fast horses. Maybe that was something he and Danny both did; escaping into an idealized reality when the one at hand was too much.

Then, with a jolt, it clicked. The way Jake had grown cruel when Sam had defended his new look and new life, no doubt shattering Jake’s pre established perception of his baby brother. Inviting him to dinner and cooking what Danny knew were some of Sam’s favorite foods, only to spoil it all with appetite stealing jabs. How he had shrank under Josh’s disappointment. How he sat now, staring at Danny’s boots like he wished they were his.

Like he wished he could run.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Danny blurted. Jake jerked at the sudden sound and regarded Danny with wide, confused eyes. He blinked once before his face crumpled, perplexed.

“For what?” Jake asked, all bite gone from his voice. He sounded almost friendly. He sounded a little like Sam, actually. Danny used that familiarity to gather his confidence.

“I’m sorry Sam didn’t invite you to go with him. That must’ve really hurt.”

Jake’s expression held its dumbfounded composure but Danny could see the emotion shift from confusion to something akin to being completely crushed. He barely blinked and Danny watched his eyes fill with tears.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jake hissed, his voice wobbling slightly as his lip curled in feigned disgust. “You two are going to die out there, one way or another.”

“You must be a masochist, then,” Danny accused, continuing to find his nerve. “Because I’m willing to bet that Sam wasn’t too far off when he said you were jealous. I’m really not trying to be rude, I’m just trying to understand.”

“Understand what? Why I hate your guts?”

“You don’t hate my guts, Jake. And I sure as shit don’t hate yours.”

“Could’ve fooled me. You didn’t even give me a chance.”

Ah. There was another puzzle piece clicking in place for Danny.

“That’s another thing I’m sorry about,” Danny said honestly. “I shouldn’t have shut you down like that. It’s just - and this isn’t an excuse, it’s just an explanation- it’s just that I’ve spent the past year trying to get Sam as far away from what he was running from. And, well, you’re a part of all that in one way or another. But I should’ve understood your circumstances the same way I do Sam.”

Jake was quiet for another beat, swallowing and sniffling before letting out a sigh.

“I guess I shouldn’t have shut you down like that either,” Jake admitted. “And I guess I should thank you for keeping him safe and, well, alive. It’s just so weird to see Sam like this. He’s so…”

Jake’s lip trembled in a particularly Sam fashion and his eyes drifted off into space as tears began to roll down his ruddy cheeks.

“He’s so happy,” Jake breathed, in awe. “He was right, he was never happy here. I pushed him too hard. Josh was too wrapped up in his own crises. Our parents never gave him a second glance. And now he’s so free. He got out. You two have done so much and gone so far that it just makes everything at home feel even smaller. I guess I didn’t realize until I saw him again that there was something to ‘get out’ of.”

“It’s okay,” Danny whispered, reaching out and putting a hand on Jake’s arm. “Hey, breathe, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Jake wailed, fully swept up in his hysteria now. “It’s not okay. This is supposed to be a place people flock to, not run from. And, shit, if it was so bad that he had to run, you’d think he’d have the decency to at least tell me and Josh. You’d think he’d ask if...”

Danny thought he’d be more distressed watching Jake completely spin out, but he was actually pretty calm. He supposed this was par for the course in a place like this. Another holy man laid to waste by a betrayal. Another brother struck down by his brother, laying still while the other wandered. In some twisted way, there was something divine here, but not in the way that any of them wanted. Danny suddenly felt even closer to Sam, and he shivered a little with the understanding and satisfaction of it despite the gaunt atmosphere over the entire estate. He kept a steady hand on Jake’s arm when he crossed his arms on the table and buried his face shamefully, the lean crest of his back shivering with an unruly sob.

“You should go, Jake,” Danny whispered. “I mean, you should leave, too. You can’t be happy here.”

“That’s not an option for me,” Jake laughed, his face still hidden by his periwinkle sleeves. “There’s too much here for me to leave behind.”

“Josh?”

“Josh,” Jake repeated, voice wobbling. “Always gonna be Josh. As much as I’d love to have a week to myself without having to set up a million church activities or food drives or buying a trunkful of candles, I know he can’t handle the responsibility all on his own. It’s just easier if I do it so he can focus on writing sermons and doing confessions.”

“What happened to having faith in each other?”

“He doesn’t want to handle the responsibility on his own,” Jake corrected. “That’s another thing. In all honesty, I always thought if any of us were going to make it out of here, it’d be him.”

“Really?” Danny asked. From what he’d heard, Josh was more than happy with a microphone in his hand and adoring congregants standing at the ready to harmonize with his gospels.

Jake calmed slightly, resurfacing from his arms to rest his chin and catch his breath. His round face was still flushed with emotion and Danny resisted a very genuine urge to brush his hair back from where it lay lingering on his cheeks, kept there by stray tears.

“Josh…” Jake trailed off, his gaze finding comfort counting the slats in the blinds. “Josh struggles. I mean, we all do, but he…I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me much. I just know something keeps him convinced that he’s not worthy of being the pastor. Which is ridiculous, in my opinion.”

“Really,” Danny repeated, slightly more somber as he thought back to his first impressions of Josh and the immediate recognition whose source alluded him. It came to him in a wave, then, along with the fond ache of understanding.

“No one is more deserving,” Jake continued. “There’s no one as kind or as devoted as him. I think it’s just the church, well, the Convention, really, that has certain ideas that make him feel…unworthy, maybe. There’s an expectation he thinks he doesn’t live up to.”

“He’s..?” Danny trailed off, testing the waters cautiously in case the conclusion he’d jumped to was entirely wrong.

“He’s my brother,” Jake said firmly, finally looking Danny head on. “And my best friend. That’s all that matters to me.”

Danny sat back in his chair, a long held breath (of relief?) escaping his chest as his understanding of Jake finally crystallized. He wasn’t really a sharp tongued, verse slinging Bible thumper with a million little hills to die on. Jake was a man who was first and foremost devoted to his family, and he was willing to forego all of his wants for their needs. He was a brother, and he feared for how the world would treat his brothers, both inside and outside his little world. And at the end of it, he’d withstand feeling forgotten if it meant they felt seen. He had never been angry, not really. Just hurt.

“You’re a good brother, Jake,” Danny insisted, flashing Jake a smile. “You and Sam should have a chat before the night is through. And I still believe you should think about leaving. Both you and Josh, actually. There’s a lot of world you’d really like to see. Obviously it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I do think it’d help.”

“You’re probably right,” Jake agreed. “And thank you. Sorry for, you know, everything.”

“It’s no problem,” Danny said genuinely. “I’m happy to help.”

“You are, aren’t you?” Jake laughed. “I’m surprised you’ve stuck around this long, honestly. Especially since you’re not religious. But I guess if you’ve put up with Sam for a year and not jumped overboard, you must be accustomed to some nonsense.”

“I don’t ‘put up’ with him,” Danny asserted. “It’s a privilege to get to spend so much time with him.”

Jake watched him with an arched, amused eyebrow, finally straightening in his chair to smooth his hair back and settle with his arms crossed.

“So, what, I’m gonna wind up being your brother, too?”

“I mean…in a way,” Danny laughed, heart racing. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Jake answered, shaking his head slightly. “I figured. I mean, after he hit 21 and had no dating prospects or interest in dating at all, I assumed he was gonna forgo it completely. I just guessed he was more interested in his commitment to the church, like Josh.”

“Seems they both had their reasons to stay away from girls,” Danny noted.

“I suppose they did,” Jake said with a light laugh. “And still do. But, wow, Sam really does light up around you. I’ve never seen that with him.”

Danny smiled, blushing with warmth again as he tried to recall Sam’s expression when he was around. He’d always been smiley and wide eyed when looking at Danny, complete with pupils blown wide and overtaking the honey brown of his iris while he mapped Danny’s face. Wasn’t that how he’d been before they met? Apparently not.

“You’ve got good intentions?” Jake interrogated, nudging Danny’s knee with his own. “You treat him right?”

“I do, I do,” Danny insisted, crossing his own arms and grinning. “I sure try. He’s easy to love.”

“You love him?”

“I…yeah, I do,” Danny affirmed, certain of his answer. “I didn’t even mean to say it like that, but, yeah. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” Jake smiled, yet slightly subdued. “Just…be careful, okay? At least as long as you’re in Alabama. Especially in Shady Grove.”

“I know,” Danny said softly, a little more morose. “Sam warned me about that. Another reason he left.”

“Another reason we should go,” Jake replied reluctantly. “Right?”

“Right. Believe me, nowhere is going to be perfect, but I think you’ll like the version of Josh you’ll meet when he can be himself. I’ve loved watching Sam come out of his shell.”

“I wish I could’ve been there for that,” Jake whispered, choking up again. “He’s probably out there right now telling Josh how much he hates me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I fucking hate him.”

“Sam.”

Sam had bolted the second he was out the front door, but Josh had known where to find him. Ever since Sam had been young enough to start throwing the tantrums that had made him so intolerable to their parents, he always fled to the dock at the bottom of the hill. Ever the mediator, Josh had spent his fair share of time on the rotting wood planks listening to Sam vent his frustrations as they plunged sticks and rocks into the murky water, eventually advising him with echoes of affirmations he’d heard from the mouths of older congregants. But they were adults now, and as Josh sat on the dock with Sam curled into his side, he realized with a faint panic that there were no more words to borrow but his own.

“I do,” Sam insisted, his head resting on Josh’s shoulder as he glared out over the blurred surface of the small lake. “I really do. I’m done with him.”

“No, you’re not,” Josh sighed, throwing an arm around Sam’s shoulder and rubbing his arm.

“Whatever,” Sam grumbled. “I want to be.”

“You don’t have any kind of hate in your soul, Sam,” Josh told him. “God takes it from you and leaves you even more kind and enduring.”

“Josh, stop,” Sam whispered, sending an embarrassed thorn right into Josh’s side.

“Stop what?”

“The God stuff. Please. Just, not now, at least.”

“The ‘God stuff’ used to make you feel better.”

“No, it didn’t. I just didn’t say anything.”

They sat without speaking for a minute. Without their voices, the rushing rain sounds of the mayflies and the hush of the surrounding trees filled the void between them.

“You could’ve said something,” Josh murmured. “Especially if it would’ve stopped you leaving.”

“It wouldn’t have,” Sam answered. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I think I would’ve left no matter what happened.”

“Oh,” Josh said, sounding small. “Did you know that before you left?”

“To some degree.”

“...I would’ve liked to know that, too, Sammy.”

Sam swallowed a guilty lump in his throat and sulked further against his brother.

“Sorry,” Sam whispered. “It was selfish. It’s just…I was scared if I told you, you’d tell Jake, and then he’d tell Dad, and then you’d all hatch some master plan to keep me here.”

“I suppose that’s not an unfounded fear,” Josh admitted. “Remember when Jake had his little Sunday school girlfriend? I didn’t see him for, like, three days after Dad got wind of it.”

“Exactly. And then you would’ve written up some elaborate, guilt trippy sermon and sat me down in the kitchen and made me talk about my feelings for 2 hours minimum.”

Josh laughed a little, drawing a knee to his chest against a cool breeze that rolled off the lake.

“I’m pretty predictable, huh? Goodness.”

“And that wouldn’t have worked because if I talked about my feelings…”

“What?”

“...”

“What, you wouldn’t want to hear my feelings about the whole thing?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s too late for that now. And that’s not-”

“I haven’t even told you how I felt,” Josh pointed out.

“I know how you felt,” Sam murmured, tears searing his waterline again. “Maybe it’s you and Jake with your creepy twin telepathy, but I felt you both the whole time, even all the way out in California. It’s horrible. Some days I couldn’t even enjoy myself because I could feel the disappointment two thousand miles away.”

Josh felt tears of his own threatening to spill over hearing that. It had never occurred to him that a lifetime of observing at the sidelines would’ve made Sam so accurately attuned to his family’s emotional patterns.

“Sammy,” Josh exhaled. “It pains me to listen to this. You don’t have to feel so guilty about everything.”

“Neither do you.”

Josh bristled slightly, lifting his cheek from Sam’s hair and looking down at him.

“What do you mean?” Josh asked gently.

“I know you didn’t want to be pastor.”

“Well, I love it now.”

Sam pulled away from Josh and crossed his legs under him, staring out over the water before staring Josh in the eye with a look so sincere and cutting that it made Josh lean back slightly.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know,” Sam said evenly. “It’s okay if you’re upset.”

“What do I have to be upset about?” Josh teased, pushing Sam’s bony shoulder. “I live in this beautiful little town and get to spend my days with its beautiful little people talking about what I love. Plus I just got my baby brother back. I’d be a fool to complain.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Josh, cut it out,” Sam snapped, grief fizzling into frustration. “You sound like Dad at his worst. Why can’t you just drop the act for 2 seconds and admit you hate it here?”

Josh’s eyebrows flew up and he let out a reflexive laugh, anxiety coloring his tone as it fluttered cautiously out of him. Sam looked at him pleadingly, grabbing his brother's hand and gripping it tight.

“I know you didn’t want to be pastor,” Sam repeated firmly. “I know you wanted to go to college. And I…I know you’re gay.”

Josh immediately froze, falling silent as Sam stared into his eyes and what felt like his soul.

“And that’s great,” Sam continued on, a tear escaping his eye and rolling down his cheek. “It can feel amazing if you’d just let yourself feel anything. Trust me, I know. You’re not trapped here, dude. You can still go to school and be yourself and be happy. You just have to put yourself first for the first time in your fucking life.”

Josh, struck dumb, couldn’t do anything but breathe as his heart burned in his chest and pushed up hot tears that blurred his vision of his brother. His brother, who was undressing his façade with effortless impatience that made Josh begin to wonder just how transparent he truly was. Or was it only Sam, who was part of him in so many ways, that could see how blind Josh was? When he spoke in dizzying circles of hell and damnation, were his congregants shaking their heads in pity with the knowledge that all Josh was really doing was scaring himself back into submission?

“If you’re really okay with how your life is turning out, tell me now and we can never talk about it again,” Sam promised. “I swear to God. I will leave it alone.”

Josh hesitated further, pulling his hand from Sam’s and letting out a slow breath. Looking down at the cloudy water swaying underneath them, he wondered how big of an inhale of it would take for him to sink right to the bottom.

“You’re right,” Josh confessed, his voice as soft and as uncertain as Sam had ever heard him. “I didn’t want any of this. It’s too much pressure. And the more I read the Bible and listen to the sermons from out in Texas and Georgia…the more I lose faith in what I’m supposed to be telling people.”

“Yeah,” Sam whispered, finding respite in Josh’s honesty. “I never really believed we were all born sinners.”

“I still kind of do,” Josh admitted. “But now I’m thinking there’s no amount of trying that’ll change that. I do all of this praying and writing and confession but I’m still…”

“It’s not sin, Josh. How you feel, how we both feel. There’s nothing to be saved from when it comes to that,” Sam insisted with quiet urging. “Seriously.”

“Maybe,” Josh whispered, picking at the skin around his nails as a dark coil of shame slithered in his stomach. “It just isn’t natur-”

“It’s like this,” Sam started, trying to put something into terms that would get through to him. “God is everyone and everything. Maybe that’s something I still agree with. And when you stop dedicating yourself to trying to get him to pay attention to you, you start to see Him or whatever “He” really is everywhere. You realize that you’re honoring Him by honoring yourself and doing what feels right to you. I don’t know if that’s something we’ll get rewarded for in heaven, but the reward of it on Earth is enough for me.”

“‘Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it’,” Josh recited with a nod. “Hebrews.”

“Sure. Yeah, actually, yeah. What I’m trying to say is you should live for yourself, Josh, not God or Dad or anyone. And if you still want God, you’ll find that without even trying.”

“Did you find Him with Danny?” Josh asked quietly. “In Texas?”

Sam blinked in surprise. He’d never thought about it like that, but…

“I guess I did,” Sam breathed, a smile drifting onto his face as he thought fondly of Danny. “At the start, at least. Now it’s all just him, no capital H.”

Everything was Danny to him, in complete honesty. Even though Sam only half believed the whole speech he was giving to Josh, he couldn’t deny the divinity he felt in the presence of his boyfriend. His best friend.

“I want that,” Josh murmured. His throat closed with emotion as he forced the words out, but it felt good to say. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d expressed wanting out loud, and based on the look on Sam’s face, he realized it may have never happened before.

“Go get it,” Sam said fiercely, his grin growing wildly when Josh’s eyes lit up a little at his encouragement. “You wanna come to Florida with us? We can find you a nice, alligator hunting boy.”

“Slow down, slow down,” Josh laughed, holding up his palms in surrender. “One step at a time.”

“Just Florida, then. We’ll ask Danny.”

As if summoned, there grew the sound of hushed voices and the sound of shoes on the wooden steps down to the deck, bodies hidden by the trees and the dark. Eventually they emerged, Jake hopping down from the last step that had been laid too high, bending at the knee from the impact as long legged Danny casually stepped down beside him. Sam and Josh turned to face them, leaning back on their hands and giving little waves. Without any words, they all knew the night’s battle had blown over, and Sam reached for Jake as he sat down between him and Josh. Jake received him with a hug, both of them bent into each other awkwardly as they murmured brief apologies to the other. Josh, unable to stay out of anything ever, leaned into their embrace and struggled to wrap his arms around both of them. Danny laughed as he settled next to Sam, their knees bumping as Sam attempted to wiggle out from the hold Josh had joyfully trapped them in.

“I’m just so grateful,” Josh wailed with phony passion. “I love my family!”

“You’d hug Mom and Dad like this?” Jake asked incredulously.

“...I love my brothers!”

All 4 of them laughed again as Josh finally released them, immediately proceeding to chastise Jake in a low voice as he fiddled with the frizz his hair had accumulated. Sam teetered backwards and landed with his back to Danny’s chest. Danny took advantage of the twins getting distracted and planted a kiss on top of Sam’s hair, letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment at the consolation of Sam back in his arms after the whirlwind day they’d had.

“All good?” Danny whispered in Sam’s ear, smiling when Sam nodded and tilted his head to grin up at him.

“You?” Sam asked, humming when Danny mimicked his own nod back to him.

“Jake said we can stay the night in your old bedroom,” Danny informed him, repeating what Jake had said in the conversation on their way out of the house. “But he won’t make us breakfast.”

“Fuckin’ liar, he will,” Sam laughed, reaching a hand up and lovingly stroking Danny’s cheek as he utilized his other hand to smack Jake’s thigh. “What’s this about no breakfast? You want me to burn the place down trying to make toast?”

“I’m just not babying you anymore is all,” Jake announced, smacking Sam right back. “Danny agrees it’ll be good for our relationship.”

“Traitor,” Sam complained, smacking Danny on the cheek and squealing when Danny scoffed and smacked him back. Jake let out a brash cackle and Josh a defeated groan.

“You’re like the Three Stooges,” Josh whined. “Also, coming from you, Sam? That’s a bold accusation.”

“Wow!”

“Look who’s finally growing some balls,” Jake continued to cackle, hooking his elbow around Josh’s neck and pulling him into a side hug.

“The state of my balls are none of your concern,” Josh muttered, which made Sam and Jake let out identical barks of laughter. The three of them got whipped up into a frenzy of bickering and Danny watched with a grin and a bloom of warmth flowering in his chest at the sight. There was something being healed here, he thought, and he could almost see the misguided little boys they’d once been as they tussled and giggled on the groaning dock.

It was strange to think how differently he had felt just a few hours ago. With Sam in Danny’s life, it seemed like things changing at the drop of a hat was something that Danny was going to grow well accustomed to as long as he was around. After that night, even with Sam squirming out of his grasp to try and push his brothers into the lake, Danny knew with complete certainty that he wanted Sam to stick around forever. It was time he told him that.

“How was your shower?”

“Arctic.”

Danny laughed and opened up the wing of the sheets and comforters to welcome in Sam, who came rolling in with his hair still wet. He was clad in linen pajamas from his teenage years that fell slightly too short on his wrists and ankles, while Danny lay under the blankets in only his boxers and socks. Even though Sam’s skin and hair was freezing cold from the shower and dampened his own skin, Danny pulled Sam against him and struggled with the blankets to bundle them together as best as he could.

“There, now we’re a proper burrito,” Danny smiled, kissing the tip of Sam’s nose.

“I’ve never had a burrito,” Sam whispered in a hushed, secretive voice. Danny gasped.

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not!”

“Well, that's okay, we'll remedy that. Plus, they’re not half as good as this,” Danny mumbled, using his grip on Sam’s back to pull him further into his bare chest and tuck Sam’s head into the crook of his neck. “Was the water really that cold?”

“Sub-zero,” Sam promised with a shiver. “Those assholes hogged all the hot water, I bet. Typical.”

“I’ll warm you up plenty,” Danny purred, sliding his hand up Sam’s shirt and tracing his fingers along his cool skin with featherlight touch. Sam shivered again and giggled, nuzzling deeper into Danny’s neck.

“Not in my childhood bed you won’t, pervert,” Sam murmured against Danny’s skin, which seemed to be radiating great waves of heat like he were a human furnace.

Said childhood bed had been a source of poorly hidden smiles from Danny, who finally admitted through a smothered laugh that the entire room looked like his grandma’s room back in Florida. No doubt done up and never redecorated for the daughter his mother had been expecting and never received, the wallpaper was pale, flowery and hung with silver crosses. Picture frames held stitched psalms that sat cheerfully on the vanity facing the bed. The double bed barely fit the both of them and, as Sam admitted through laughs of his own, the sheets and comforters that surrounded them now did, at one time, belong to his granny. When they’d first walked in, Sam had felt the loving ache of being remembered upon finding that the bed had been made and the room had been tidied for his return.

“How about some sleep, then?” Danny offered. “We’ve had a long day.”

“No kidding,” Sam quietly agreed. “I’m glad what happened did happen, shockingly enough. I really thought it was going to be a trainwreck. I should’ve had more faith in them, I guess.”

“You’ve got just the right amount of faith,” Danny hummed, eyes drifting open and shut as he grew sleepy from the perfume of Sam’s shampoo and his natural sweetness. “I’m really proud of you, baby. I know that was a lot for you. You’re a tough cookie.”

“I’m your tough cookie,” Sam murmured, tickling Danny’s neck with his nose and planting a lingering kiss on the pulse thrumming violently under his lips. Danny let out a breathy groan and gently dug his fingers into Sam’s back as Sam mapped a sleepy path of kisses along Danny’s neck.

“Easy, cookie,” Danny raggedly chuckled, smoothing his palm up and down Sam’s back as he fought in vain to stave off the growing pressure in his boxers. “I thought being in this bed was a no go.”

“It is,” Sam doubled down, lips dragging against Danny’s skin as he whispered. “Just saying thank you real quick.”

“You and your fuckin’ ‘thank you’’s,” Danny smiled, eyelids fluttering fully shut as he tilted his head back and gave Sam more area to cover. “This is like that first night all over again.”

“I was so embarrassed,” Sam giggled, his breath fanning out in warm bursts over the thin layer of saliva cooling on Danny’s skin. “I thought I’d gone and fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Sweetheart,” Danny cooed, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“No, I’m not,” Sam refused, pressing his cheek into the hollow of Danny’s collarbone.

“Yes, you absolutely are, my little California love.”

“Even after today?” Sam asked, sounding more uncertain than he wanted to. “I can’t think of a single other person on Earth who could’ve sat through all of that bullshit and still liked me at the end of it. Like, I really can’t apologize enough. Especially for Jake’s crazy ass.”

“Especially after today,” Danny insisted. Sam lifted his head from Danny’s chest and looked up at him with an unconvinced sneer, their noses brushing as Danny raked his fingers through Sam’s damp waves and searched for the fortitude to say what he felt. These were the moments where Danny felt it the strongest; Sam burrowed into him with his eyes as wide and wondering as the day they’d met. This was what love was to him.

“Sam,” Danny whispered sincerely, voice low and breathless. “If it meant I got to keep you by my side for 10 extra minutes, I’d live today over and over again. Do you understand? There is nothing you could put me through that I wouldn’t stick around for. Not when I’m this ridiculously in love with you.”

Sam’s already wide eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets at that, pupils expanding slowly as a nervous smile wound its way onto his flushed face. Danny smiled at him, feeling a flush of his own beginning to heat his body from his heart outwards.

“You’re what?” Sam asked, leaning back slightly to look at Danny properly.

“You heard me,” Danny teased, pinching the rosy apple of Sam’s cheek. “What do you think about that?”

“I think you’re crazy,” Sam laughed, shimmying in their cocoon of blankets and limbs to readjust his arms to wrap around Danny’s neck. “And may have been dropped on your head as a baby.”

“How did you know that?”

“It’s the only rational explanation as to why you’d go and say that,” Sam flouted breezily.

“Is it really so hard to believe?” Danny asked, making a pitiful face that made Sam’s heart flutter. “You make it very easy to be in love with you, as a matter of fact. I don’t have to try at all.”

“I love you,” Sam murmured, in awe. It’s not like he was stupid, he knew Danny had to have loved him for them to have gotten as far as they had, but it still felt entirely unexpected to actually hear it. After a year of being startled awake by Sam’s sleep talking, patiently listening to stories of the worst of Sam’s childhood punishments, even sleeping sitting up in a jail cell in New Mexico when Sam’s newfound chutzpah found purchase with a rowdy biker, there was Danny at the end of it all. Patiently awaiting what fresh hell Sam would drag him into next.

“I love you, too,” Danny assured him. “But are you in love with me?”

“Fucking obviously,” Sam blurted. “I'm so in love with you, Danny, fuck. I didn’t realize I even had to clarify that.”

“Of course you did! How else would I know?” Danny laughed, eyes glittering with glee and relief at Sam’s confirmation.

“I thought I had made myself plenty clear when I followed you across the country with zero hesitation. Twice.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

“Also, I mean, you popped my cherry, so.”

“You weren’t gonna give that up for just anyone, huh?” Danny laughed, his freckled nose crinkling.

“Nope,” Sam smiled flirtatiously. “I was saving it for truuue looove.”

“Is that what this is?” Danny asked softly, his smile paling with uncertainty as he searched Sam’s dark eyes.

“I hope so,” Sam breathed, his heart racing just as fast as it did when he was still learning to look at Danny without feeling faint. “Do you think it is?”

“I do,” Danny said sincerely, cupping Sam’s jaw. “Let’s say it is and go from there.”

“Works for me,” Sam agreed, nervously tilting his chin forward and melting from the inside out when Danny met him with a fiery kiss.

Sam was no stranger to the possessive pressure Danny preferred to apply when kissing, but there was something fierce behind this kiss that left Sam feeling utterly and completely loved. Lying in the same bed just over a year ago, Sam recalled how he’d bundle the blankets into a wall to press his back against as he slept, pretending it was someone to keep him steady and wake him in the morning. He thought of how that was something he didn’t need to dream about anymore. He thought of how lucky he was. How blessed.

“I’m starting to think Josh may have been right,” Sam sighed against Danny’s mouth, now tucked under him with Danny’s loose curls tickling his cheeks. “I think you’re my guardian angel.”

“You’re the angel here,” Danny insisted, thinking of Sam’s tattoo and feeling his thighs tighten unconsciously on either side of Sam’s hips. “Never gonna let anyone clip your wings ever again.”

“I’m serious,” Sam whined, twining his fingers in Danny’s hair and pulling him closer. “You’re the real deal.”

“Maybe Josh did get one thing right tonight.”

“Speaking of Josh…how do you feel about another passenger on our way to Florida?”

“He’s going to have to share the backseat with Jake if that’s the new plan, ‘cause I’m pretty sure I convinced Jake to pack up too.”

“Family road trip,” Sam sang. “I hope your parents don’t mind.”

“No, they’ll love a full house,” Danny answered. “And my sister will love peer pressuring them into doing stupid shit.”

“I can’t wait to see them drunk for the first time,” Sam confessed with a laugh. “They’ll be fucking ridiculous.”

“I don’t know if you’ll want to see them like that if they’re anything like you were the first time you got drunk,” Danny teased, nipping at Sam’s earlobe. “I’ve still never heard you talk like you did that night.”

“Stop that,” Sam giggled, muffling a squeak when Danny kissed the sensitive skin under his ear. “I don’t even remember half of that night.”

“Your brain is protecting your dignity,” Danny joked, his voice low and warm against the shell of Sam’s ear. “You were kind of a slut.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked weakly, panting slightly from so little. Danny tended to do that to him.

“Oh, yeah. Big time. You cried when I wouldn’t put it in.”

Sam immediately slapped a hand over Danny’s mouth and shushed him theatrically, attempting to smother him when Danny laughed hysterically and tried to lick and bite at his fingers.

“What if they heard you!” Sam hissed, his wrists now pinned beside him as Danny held him down with visible triumph.

“Then I’ll apologize!” Danny laughed, jostling as Sam tried to wrench himself out from under him. “You’re the one making the mattress squeak all suspiciously. This is a Christian household, Sam, I mean really.”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“I hate you,” Sam declared quietly, sharp eyes trained up at Danny with a glimmer of mischief dancing at his waterline. Danny smiled fondly and lowered himself so their chests were pressed together. He cocked his head, looking Sam over with his hazel eyes lush with emotion.

“And I will love you ‘til the day I die, Sam Kiszka,” Danny announced, pressing his lips to Sam’s with careful appreciation and keeping them there for the hours that followed.

In the morning, they’d clamor and argue and shed tears before pulling out of Shady Grove with a body in every seat of Danny’s beat up little truck. They’d follow the fate line to Florida to settle and heal and wander from the path like they always did. But that night, they had nothing to do but lay under the blanket of the whistling Alabama sky and love each other.

They’d find in the years and decades that followed, it never got much more complicated than that.

Taglist: @holdingup-fallingsky @milojames16 @spark-my-nature @bladenotblaze @currentlyfangirling10

#i struggled so hard to finish this BUT im proud!!!!#theyre so fucking cute #gvf #greta van fleet #danny wagner #sam kiszka #sanny gvf #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van art #karoufiction

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aannonn · 6 months

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jibaku shounen hanako kun chapter 108..... LET'S GO!

Nene is such an icon istg lmao I love her so much <3

Wait wha- woah! Tsukasa is defenseless now? That's not something you see everyday. Is that good or bad? lol

Twin Power!!1!

Tsukasa-kun... Poor kid. Amane really messed up, didn't he?

Can't really blame him, tho- The world was just too cruel and unfair to those 2. They are just kids😭

...This part really hurts me. Idk why but its just- Tsukasa just seems like he's just- He just- Tsukasa is just like- It seems to me that Tsukasa is like-

"Oh.

Oh."

then;

"Amane.. Amane, are you listening? Amane, can you hear me? Amane, are you coming? Amane, do you hate me? Amane, is that why you never came for me? Amane, I can't die anymore Amane, but I feel like you're slowly killing me again. Amane. Amane. Amane. Amane. Amane. Amane. AmaneAmaneAmaneAmaneAmaneamanemaneamaneamaneamane-"

something like that lol

Idk its just seems to me that Tsukasa gave up. But at the same time he is unconsciously taking Nene's request seriously about calling his brother (Twin Power!) so he started calling Amane in his mind and then- welp

this scene hurts me alot. ;') can't wait to finally watch it animated! (i feel like watching it animated will just hurt me even more omg-)

He came! He finally came! Twin Power worked1!!1

Tsukasa looks so surprised. Amane looks pretty annoyed lol

Honestly, I really really believe that Tsukasa actually called for him, and Amane actually listened.

I mean- Think about this;

Yes, Nene called for Hanako, but that was before they both (Tsukasa and Nene) fell down. And while Hanako may have delayed a lil' bit, there is something that make me think that Tsukasa did actually call for Amane..

While they are falling, it appears this;

It's open for many interpretation and possibilities, but I feel like this is to represent that Tsukasa did actually call for Amane, just not out-loud.

I like to think that; In my own point of view, it's like;

It seems to me that Tsukasa did called him from the very deep bottom of his heart. He didn't speak, but he for sure screamed for Amane from the very bottom of his heart.

He wanted Amane to come (he never said he didn't). He said that Amane wouldn't come for him anyway, but that doesn't mean that he didn't want to call for him. It doesn't mean that he didn't want Amane to come.

Tsukasa has been wishing for his brother to come to him for a long time, but Amane never did. And Tsukasa was always alone. So I think that hope slowly faded away.

Although, Amane remains being his older brother, and Tsukasa continues to love him more than anything in the world, so he can't help but let himself spark that hope again, let himself call Amane again, even though he knew it probably wouldn't work, like it never did. But he still took what Nene' said seriously, and so he decided to try it, only one last time.

So imagine his surprise when he sees that it actually worked. That Amane actually came for him.

He looks so shocked, amazed, devasted, surprised; He's feeling alot of emotions at once.

so many emotions that he doesn't even do the ":O" face anymore.

It's an genuine and unexpected surprise. Amane actually came. Amane actually listened. Amane actually-

He saved them both omg I love them sm

this panel gives me many siblings vibes.

Amane just looks so done with them lmao

Normal! Nene would never say things like this, but she's a kid and kids are usually more confident and say things without thinking too much about it so-

Hanako is amazed. Flustered. Shocked.

Happy;3

Tsukasa looks so indignated for being the third-wheel lmao

perfect.

they are actually acting like siblings omgg i love them sm

tsukasa did not had to bring up chapter 105 again but he did.

Idk why but i really love this panel with all the three of them together. They give me siblings-who-just-got-caught-fighting vibes lol

TSUKASA AND TERU IN THE VERY SAME ROOM???? IN THE VERY SAME PLACE??? AT THE VERY SAME TIME?????

interaction is gonna happen. i'm telling you

finally.. the day has finally come... Tsukasa + Teru interaction is finally gonna happen........ AFTER YEARS OF WAITING WE FINALLY HAVE ARRIVED TO THIS MOMENT PEOPLE

Welp! i think that's it...? Excited for the next chapter yayayaya

it feels like this chapter delayed a whole bunch... but time for me just went by pretty slow actually...

Welp! I think that's finally it..?

Cya ~ !

part 2 of this post!

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #tbhk #have a good day!#have a good afternoon!#have a good night!#(oﾟvﾟ)ノ #♪(^∇^*)#𐡘 𐡘♡

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kittytheartist · 2 years

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Minamoto No Yorimitsu appreciation post

guys STOP SLEEPING ON YORIMITSU!!! I love him so so much and I swear nobody took note of him but somehow ppl took notice to KATAKURI??? HE AINT HALF AS MUCH OF A MAN YORIMITSU IS!!!! cries/

I'm gonna be honest ever since Hanako brung up Yorimitsu in the boy exercist arc I was like, WOW can't wait for that to be of plot relavence

and OMYGOSH was I interested in the Minamoto history!! we've seen shrine preists and the way our current exercists live, we've been told they used to be more powerful, we've heard of the Yokai supernatural ages some, SO YORIMITSU HAD TO COME IN THE SERIES EVENTUALLY RIGHT???? so I waited so long for him on page!! the closest I knew we got to Minamoto history was Hakubo, and how he had Minamoto beads wrapped around him in the official art with Sumire. very questionable, BUT OH BOY WAS THE BACKSTORY WITH YORIMITSU FUN!! the second I saw his figure I was like, woah wait....

AND THEN LIKE NEXT PAGE I SAW HIS LEG AND WAS LIKE BREATHLESSLY LIKE "NO WAY....COULD IT BE YORIMITSU?" AND THEN I READ SOME MORE DIALOGUE AND IT SAID YORI FUCKING MITSU!!!! I WAS SO HAPPY AND HIS DESIGN IS SO TOP TEIR???

I kid you not I was internalized waiting for him to come and I said his name like before it was even read and like, PPL STOP SLEEPING ON THIS GOD OF A MAN???

AND WOW WAS HAKUBO'S DISCRIPTION OF YORIMITSU SO PERFECT!!

I ADORED how it was done so much!! and how Yorimitsu acted was so fun!! his personality was so fiery and willing, and boy does he have those Minamoto genetics, you can thank this sexy man for Teru's beautiful self!

okay but like, everyone has to agree his design?????so fucking beautiful?????and WOW THE PONY???? AND HIS BANG PEICES???

THE DESIGN THEY CHOSE FOR HIM?? it's so so fucking stunning, I've seen stunning Yorimitsu designs before but WOAH did AidaIro go all out for their Yorimitsu!! and I am over the TOP for what they did for his sleeves and armor!! the classic tbhk Minamoto style and typical Yorimitsu attire? so perfect?? and I'd say the take on the Oē Mountain slaying (I believe it was?) was so effortlessly PERFECT!! and honestly with the backstory I wasn't really surprised because this is all something I could have guessed before with what I've seen/read and the artwork but it WAS SUCH AN AMAZING READ!!!

and boy was the way he treated an Oni like Hakubo, well, unnatural? that's such an interesting touch on Yorimitsu!! he is such a chance guy, but he knows he could take care of him if he needed too, but that trust was something Hakubo hasn't been shown :(

ALSO BACK TO YORIMITSU'S DESIGN(I know I keep coming back to it but shush)

after we finally got him in the manga panels I was over joyed, but after a few weeks, I started wondering when our official coloring would be? because as much as people didn't really color him there were still colorings and I had ideas from other Yorimitsu designs and color pallettes I've seen, but couldn't exactly decide what AidaIro would go for, BUT BOY WAS I NOT EXPECTING AIDAIRO TO GO FOR THE RED AND WHITE COLOR SCHEME?? ITS SO PERFECT AND ACCURATE AND BEAUTIFUL AND OML

WE ALL KNEW YORIMITSU WOULD HAVE GOLD ACCENTS BUT OMG DID THEY TURN OUT SO MUCH PRETTIER THEN I EXPECTED??? HE SLAYS SO BADDDD

THOSE ICY BLUES OMYGOSH!!!!😳😳 THEY'RE SO PRETTY!!! I already adored Teru's blue eyes so I couldn't wait for Yorimitsu's, BUT THEY TURNED OUT SO MUCH MORE STUNNING THEN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT!!! (also side note I rly liked Hakubo's working outfit colors)

and his spikey👏ass👏HAIR?👏👏👏looks so good tied up!!

and again, his interactions with Hakubo were AMAZING!

it's so amazing to see on page, and he is so silly!! his interactions and the way he treated people I imagine could be blunt at times, but he cares so much!!! and his priorities are to protect, he's so perfect for this manga sjsjjdjd(also the official art with Yorimitsu based on the panel in the right bottom corner was priceless)

his laugh and smile is so cute too?!?!!?!?! and he DOES remind us of Kou huh? so happy Hakubo saw it too!!! weren't we all waiting for him to think of Yorimitsu while fighting Kou?

and he still looking fine asf there????????HAKUBO REMEMBERS HOW HIS PONYTAIL WAS SO JSDHFHDKDNDOJDJDOFNFJJF

okay but actually AidaIro's portrayal of Yorimitsu was literally so amazing like like like

I LOVE HIM!!! DEFINITELY UP IN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!!

okay I'm done bye—

#im so normal #tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shonen hanako kun #jshk manga #tbhk manga #minamoto no yorimitsu #yorimitsu #tbhk yorimitsu #jshk yorimitsu #tbhk spoilers #jshk spoilers #tbhk hakubo #jshk hakubo

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christ0pher-evans · 3 years

Text

Variety’s Actors on Actors

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Warnings: Slight Angst / Implied Smut Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: This is my first time writing a Chris Evans fanfiction. It it loosely based off of Variety’s Actors on Actors interviews with Chris Evans and Paul Rudd / Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson. It is pure fluff, hope you guys like it!!! Please reblog and like🖤

♡

When Variety had approached you to be involved in the ‘Actors on Actors’ style interviews, you knew that it could be really fun, a great opportunity and you felt immediate excitement for who they might pair you with.

It was only a day later when they had told you that they wanted you to do the interview with Chris Evans. Normally, any time that you got to spend with Chris, physically or virtually, was fun; however you had no idea how you could possibly interview the man when you knew all there was to know about his life and career, I mean you’d only know him 16 years, and been together for the past 6 years, leading to your past first year of blissful marriage.

You had spent the last month away from Chris due to the filming of your latest movie, and was missing him so much that your heart hurt. The thought of getting to spend a full 45 minutes doing this interview with him was making you jump for joy, because usually neither of you have enough free time simultaneously to be able to spend this length of time together. It’s often a fleeting text of “I miss you”, or a 5 minute phone call between scenes.

You had spent the past week since finding out about this interview trying to come up with interesting enough questions that the fans would want answers to. You were also thankful for Variety as they had sent you a pre-made list of questions in case you got stuck.

It was finally an hour before the interview, and you hadn’t seen Chris’ face for the past two weeks so you decided to make a bit of extra effort to look nice for him.

You were sat in front of your dressing table in your apartment that had be rented out for you whilst you were filming. Make-up was spread all over the table and you could see the reflection, several outfits littered all over your bed where you had yet to make your mind up on what to wear.

45 minutes later and you had a light brown and glittery smokey eye, a subtle winged liner with a gloss over your lips and had given yourself a bouncy blow-dry. After looking through all your outfits, you had decided on one of Chris’ oversized jumpers that you stole before you left and some jeans - even though you wanted to look really nice for him, you knew how much he would appreciate seeing you in his clothes more.

You had made yourself a coffee and set yourself up at the breakfast bar for the interview. Checking everything was set up and ready for the interview, you waited patiently with butterflies in your stomach for it to start. You were bought out of your excited daze by the noise of your phone, a message from Chris popped up.. ‘Can’t wait to see your beautiful face’ Boy, did he still make you swoon after so long together.

Not long had passed before the sound of a video call was coming through on your laptop, and as you answered, a member of the Variety team was on your screen. “Hi Y/N, it’s so lovely to speak to you and thank you so much for partaking in this interview. In a couple of minutes, we will connect you straight through to Chris and you can just start chatting and asking your questions. We will record everything from our end and then edit it together to be posted online.” “That all sounds perfect to me. Thank you so much for having me and letting me do this with my husband.” You couldn’t help but grin, it never got old getting to call Chris your husband. You absentmindedly twirled your engagement and wedding rings round your finger. “Okay, we will connect you now. Have fun!”

And then there he was, bright eyed and grinning at you through the screen.

“Hi Sweetheart.” His voice made your heart flutter and your stomach do flips. "Hi Chris, how are you?” you reply sweetly.

You made some small talk for the sake of the interview, before starting to ask each other questions. “So I have a confession to make..” you paused briefly, “I could not think of any questions to ask you that I didn’t already know the answer to, so I thought I would ask questions that I think fans would want to know the answer to.”

You grin, proud of yourself and proud of the big laugh you got out of Chris because you had come up with such a good idea. “My first question is when you first got into acting, how did you navigate the work/life balance?”

Chris took a swig of beer, pondering his answer before starting. “Well when I actually booked my first bigger film that had a busy schedule, was on the film we worked on together, so previous to that I didn’t have much of a social life” he chuckled, “But when you’re filming for maybe 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, you have to quickly find a routine that works for you where you can still show up to work every day and give 110%. I also remember we used to take naps on set in between our takes all the time.” You couldn’t help but smile as you fondly remembered the first time working with Chris. “No but seriously, when you find a script that you are passionate about, and get to work with people that are truly amazing at what they do, you are happy to dedicate as much time as you need to to get that perfect take, to eventually make that perfect film.”

“Okay, well let’s talk about Defending Jacob, which for you, was a completely different style of character for you to become. How did you prepare for that role?”

“Yeah, it was definitely a new type of role to encompass, especially off the back of playing Captain America for almost a decade, even though he was considered a serious character, it’s a completely different league to enter. I remember doing a lot of work with real life district attorneys to understand the pressure and seriousness of the job role and I remember going through lines with you every damn day.”

You zone out as Chris carries on talking about Defending Jacob as you remember the nights fondly.

————————

You had just finished clearing up dinner as Chris comes bounding back into the kitchen with his script for Defending Jacob. Placing it down on the dining room table, he turned to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Sweetheart, pretty please can we run my lines again? I’ve been thinking about how I can add more passion into my character to really emphasise his emotions in those tough scenes.”

You absolutely couldn’t say no to him. You was so proud of how much work he was putting into this show and how perfect he wanted it to be, but you also couldn’t say no to those gorgeous blue puppy eyes.

It had been 45 minutes since you started running lines, you were now sitting on the dining room table swinging your legs back and forth and you couldn’t take your eyes off Chris pacing round the table, the anger and passion in his voice as he recalled his lines. You could feel the heat pooling towards the bottom of your stomach as he ran his hand through his hair, his chest flexing as he shouted his lines, the gruff tone of his voice only making your panties wetter. You were biting your lip gently as Chris pulled you out of your daydream.

“Y/N are you alright, are you getting bored?” You shook your head quickly.

“God no, course not babe. You’re doing great, I’m just slightly distracted.”

Just like always, Chris could read your mind and knew exactly what you were thinking. He sauntered closer to you, placing himself in front of you and sliding your legs open so he could stand between them. Placing his script down, he used one finger to tilt your chin up to look him in the eyes.

“Is there something you like baby?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he called you baby and ran his finger across your bottom lip before ghosting a kiss on them. He leaned down towards you, one hand running down towards your panties as he kissed along your neck and up to your ear, before mumbling..”I think we can take a break”.

————————

You chuckled to yourself, remembering so vividly on how you both broke the dining room table that night.

“Oh, is something funny sweetheart?” Chris bought you out of your daydream. Clearing your throat, you mumbled an apology before changing the subject straight back to the interview.

“Okay, let me ask you a question now Y/N. I want to know how it feels to be like a superwoman as you managed to film and promote your latest movie whilst we were planning our wedding?”

You giggle lightly and smile broadly, remembering the chaos that was your life the six months leading up to your wedding.

“Honestly, Chris, that feels like a blur these days. Planning our wedding was much more work than filming and doing press tours, but somehow we made it work. Don’t make it sound like I did it so elegantly though, I was an absolute bridezilla those six months and I don’t know how you put up with me.” You smile at each other through the screen, remembering the fond memories of your engagement. “But in all honesty, it was just quite a strict schedule with minimal sleep. I loved filming and the press tour for my film was so much fun, as was planning our wedding so even though at the time, it felt like an impossible task, looking back and seeing how well the film did and how perfect our wedding day was, it makes the hard work worth every second.”

Your smile falters slightly at the thought of some of the more stressful times during that stretch, but quickly returns at the look of love in Chris’ eyes as he hangs onto your every word.

————————

You had spent the day at home trying to organise the seating plan for your wedding which was quickly approaching in 3 months, whilst Chris had been out all day filming.

Unfortunately before Chris came home, you had pulled your heels on, ready to walk out the door to your awaiting car to take you to your latest movie press panel. A sad sigh was all you managed before you hauled yourself out the door for the 2 hour interview with your cast mates.

The panel had finished at 9pm and you had jumped straight back in the car, so the driver could take you home to Chris, silently hoping you could catch him for a bit before he went to bed. You knew he would be calling it a night quite early as you had woken up to his side of the bed empty and cold that morning, meaning he had left the house before sunrise. You felt a sudden pang of sadness about how little time you’d spent with your fiancé over the past 3 months. It was no ones fault, you were both busy but it felt like you were actively avoiding one another. You shook your head as a few tears fell.

As a welcome distraction on the way home, you had opted to start looking at flower arrangements for the bridesmaids bouquets, but you could feel yourself drifting in and out of consciousness, feeling so tired and drained from months of final filming and wedding planning.

It was just after 10:15pm as you stepped out the car, thanking the driver before heading up the path to your house. You could see the lights were off, bar the hallway light that Chris had left on for your arrival home. You sighed sadly as you stepped in the door to the quiet abyss. You removed your heels, not wanting to make any unnecessary noise, knowing that Chris was up just as early tomorrow.

Walking through to the kitchen, you could see Chris had left you some pizza takeout on the side but you didn’t have the energy to eat, just wanting to curl up in bed.

Heading straight into the ensuite to your bedroom, you quietly took off your make-up and cleansed your face to hide your tear-stained cheeks. Creeping back into the bedroom, you stood looking in the mirror of your dresser as you put on one of Chris’ t-shirts; you looked defeated and utterly glum. As you stood there for a moment longer, trying to collect your emotions and bottle them away, you heard Chris stir.

“Babe, come to bed.”

You felt your shoulders relax at the rough sound of his sleepy voice. Quickly wiping under your eyes once more, you turned round to see him holding the duvet up so you could crawl under and into his waiting arms.

Immediately relaxing into the mattress, goosebumps arose on your skin as Chris trailed his fingers up your side to pull you into him. You let yet another tear fall from your eye at the fact that this was the first time you’d actually seen him today, frustrated that work and wedding planning was taking up all your time. This didn’t go unnoticed by Chris as he caught the lone tear with his finger, wiping it away.

“I just want our wedding to be perfect and my movie to do well without having to sacrifice all my time with you” you whimpered, hiding your face in Chris’ chest.

“Sweetheart, I’m marrying you, it will all be perfect. Get some sleep, I love you.” Chris gave you a kiss on your forehead before falling straight to sleep, you dozing off straight after him, with heart full of love.

————————

The interview was coming to an end and you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with happiness of getting to spend so much time talking to Chris but also dread of not knowing when you would get to see his face again before you finally got to go back home in a months time.

“Okay sweetheart, I have one last question and it is one that Variety suggested for both of us to answer. What is the best part about being married to someone in the same profession as you?” You smile at Chris through the screen, trying to think of only one thing to pick.

“Well, it is difficult to pick one, because there are so many great reasons but also it is really hard being married to someone in the same profession as you. I always try to be honest with our fans and in interviews, so I don’t want to sugarcoat it. We have to go long periods of time not getting to see each other and always having such high pressured schedules doesn’t allow a lot of time for married life.” You sigh at the look of sadness that has washed over both your faces. “However I count my lucky stars every day for having such a supportive and understanding husband like you.” You notice Chris blush at your answer before nodding along with you, agreeing with what you’ve said.

“I have to agree with you sweetheart. There is definitely some poetic justice in the fact that we met on set, both doing the job we love so fondly and here we are, 16 years later, married and getting to celebrate our achievements every single day together.”

You have to told back the tears as the interview finishes and Chris disappears from your screen. Even though you have demanding jobs, you could not feel luckier to be married to a man like Chris and you couldn’t wait to go back home to him.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans one shot #chris evans smut #fanfiction #angst #marvel #pov

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cooloddball · 3 years

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Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

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rhetorical-ink · 4 years

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Haikyuu!! SPOILERS: Chapter 401, How We Connect the Dots.

**PENULTIMATE SPOILERS BELOW**

I just posted a video with my live reactions to the chapter, but here are my highlights, because FURUDATE YOU MADMAN GENIUS. This chapter connected so much together. So, let’s do:

My Top 10 Thoughts on Haikyuu!! Chapter 401:

10. Of course. In true Furudate fashion, he has Kageyama block the spike from Hinata, BUT, what Kageyama doesn’t realize is all the training on the beach Shoyo has done to prepare for such a moment. And that heel kick! *swoons* Also, someone reacting to Season 4, Episode 9 of the anime, where Hinata kicks the ball back to himself called this happening all those months ago...Furudate is next level at foreshadowing. Not that we didn’t already know that.

9. Hey, remember how in the VERY FIRST chapter of Haikyuu!! Shoyo did this crazy run across the court to score? Yeah, Furudate knows we remember. And he pulls this -- and Kageyama’s beautiful reaction, only for --

-- Only for it to all be a DECOY. Kageyama, you made this monster, you know. I love that Shoyo has come all this way from wanting to score all the points to accepting that the decoy DOES have a vital role to play, and in this instance, it’s allowing Bokuto to score the winning point for the MSBY Black Jackals. Just look at that smile! And of course, Tanaka and Asahi KNOW the power of Hinata as a Decoy...because they’ve been in Bokuto’s shoes before.

8. UGH, the aftermath of that moment is glorious, which will detail down below -- but I love Shoyo and Kageyama’s interaction, though. How they’re still keeping track of each other’s wins and losses, exhausting Miya, hilariously, and showing that they’re on equal footing now, after all these years. This chapter is just cementing the last several chapters’ worth of character development.

7. ARE YOU SHIPPERS READY FOR YOUR FOOD?!

Because these next few pages were healing my shipper heart. I mean, yes, the Kagehina fanbase is raving right now, but let’s talk about THESE ships below, starting with:

Tsukishima x Yamaguchi:

So, Tsukishima, of course, is not sappy about any of this and just points out how the season’s just getting started (ready the fanfics, y’all).

And of course, Yamaguchi wants to watch Tsuki play! Yachi says she’ll come too! I LOVE how just like he was with Akiteru, he doesn’t want them to come watch (even though we all know he’ll love it when they’re there). Now, some people have commented that Yamaguchi could be with Yachi, but y’all...Yachi is in Tokyo. Yamaguchi and Tsuki both live in Miyagi. I can’t wait for all the Sendai Frog/TsukiYama fanfics!

If you’re looking for an extra Kagehina crumble, just look at the end of this adorable exchange between Romero, smol adorable Rubens, and Shoyo (who perfectly crouches down to talk to him MY HEART I CAN’T), to see Kageyama notice that Shoyo can speak multiple languages...oh, honey! If only you know about Hinata and Pedro’s marathons of DBZ in Portugese and English! ^^

Also, Furudate WE SEE YOU. We see you being meta and implying that now Haikyuu!! is over, he’s moving on...Akaashi’s line about going forward hit me hard...it’s like he’s telling us, the fandom, that going on to start something new isn’t so bad. SO YOU SAY.

BOKUAKA NATION -- WE CANON NOW, RIGHT?!

I love that Akaashi gets to interview Bokuto (IS HE GOING TO BE THE STAR of the Volleyball manga Tenma Udai is writing?! He would be PERFECT for it!) and how happy Akaashi looks, even if he and Bokuto realize how differently they view the term “normal.”

ALSO, it’s implied above that Akaashi, Bokuto, and Tenma were going out for drinks...which now....we know that it’s just Bokuto and Akaashi, since Tenma was going home. Uhm, FAN FIC WRITERS ASSEMBLE!

I also love that Udai joins the club, along with Fukurodani’s coach and manager, of people who realize that Bokuto and Akaashi are weirdos but they are weirdos together, so it’s fine.

Keeping the “Ship Train” going, we get little bits of Shimizu x Yachi from the bathhouse before the Inarizaki Match, where Kiyoko finally acknowledges she is okay showing her legs...thanks to Yachi’s words. I also find Suga wanting to know “the tea” on the situation to be adorable.

AND FINALLY, YES, Y’ALL:

I was spoiled with Kuroo’s return, but seriously, Furudate, you saved him for the end here so INTENTIONALLY.

Because OF COURSE Kuroo would work for the JVA. As a promoter. CONNECTING people...with Volleyball...because that’s the Nekoma way.

And FURUDATE ARE YOU SUGGESTING TO US THAT KUROO AND KENMA ARE BUSINESS PARTNERS AND COLLABORATORS BECAUSE MY KUROKEN HEART IS SOARING --

-- and let it be known Atsumu Miya rightfully doesn’t trust Kuroo, and neither does Sakusa. A nice SakuAtsu crumb where we actually see Sakusa agree with Miya without sacrasm or question! Poor Shoyo is a salesman’s dream, though. I mean, Kuroo does look a little sketchy in some of those shots...BUT....

6. Kuroo’s speech about sports was SO fitting. Seriously, everything he says here is BASICALLY what makes Haikyuu!! such a great series. I DID laugh out loud at the line about “hardly anybody dies.”

*Flashbacks to “Dead Daichi” meme*

5. It’s taken us the ENTIRE series, but Kageyama finally talks to Kindaichi and Kunimi. This was so heartwarming, seeing Kageyama wanting to play WITH THEM. AS A TEAM. This made my heart expand three sizes. The character development on Kageyama, and Kindaichi, is through the roof.

I also LOVE Kunimi the most in these panels. Kunimi is a MOOD.

Y’ALL. I’VE WAITED 400 CHAPTERS FOR THIS PANEL OF THESE THREE HAPPY AND BECOMING FRIENDS AGAIN.

4. I love that Hoshiumi doesn’t see Hinata as a Rival, but as someone that is going to help him show the rest of the world the strength of someone who doesn’t have height. I also find it interesting that we see the Japanese Olympic Coach walking out just as Hoshiumi gives us that beautiful gaze. So...does Hoshiumi know he’s going to be on the Olympic team, with Hinata, maybe? Foreshadowing, perhaps?

3. Okay, okay, I held it together until this page.

It wasn’t Ushijima’s panel with Washijo that got me.

It wasn’t Saeko and Akane reuniting, though that was sweet.

It wasn’t the three “Pure Captains” reuniting, though it made my heart happy.

It honestly wasn’t the five first years together, either. They’re all so happy and having a laugh at Kageyama’s expense, and as beautiful as that panel is.

SUGAWARA IN LINE TO GET KAGEYAMA’S AUTOGRAPH.

That is what got me.

Him in line, so meekly, to get the autograph of his kouhai, the man Suga joked would have to tell about how much he learned from HIM when he was giving out interviews and autographs...I just...Sugawara made me cry. That is all.

2. Then there’s this last page. 2021.

"We overcame difficulties and stand here.”

Furudate really said “screw you” to Covid messing up the timeline.

Yes, seeing Kageyama and Hinata in their original jersey numbers was amazing, but I think we all saw that coming if these two happened to get on the Olympic team.

What I want to focus on are the two countries we see included in the bottom corner here. We see:

Brazil -- and some fluffy haired man carrying the flag for the team.

And we see the United States -- there’s several American Flags and stars and stripes on the shirts of the crowd, there.

SO, HEADCANON TIME:

* Oikawa was on the Argentinean League, so could he play for Brazil? It’s not likely, but not impossible....BUT, I don’t think that’s it.

I don’t think Oikawa is on Japan’s National Team for the Olympics.

If he is on the Olympic Team, I think he’ll be on America’s.

Why? Because, and this could be because I’m the biggest IwaOi shipper, but Iwaizumi was still in the United States with Ushijima’s father at the end of Chapter 395. And if he’s still there, there is no reason why Iwaizumi couldn’t be a physical trainer alongside Ushijima’s father for the U.S. Olympic team. And why wouldn’t Oikawa trek over to the States to be on the same team as Iwa-Chan’s working with? I’m probably wrong, BUT --

We also still need to see Seijoh’s banner, and as others have theorized, how fitting would it be to see Hinata, Kageyama, and (probably) Ushijima on the team facing Oikawa? I just....I’m betting money that Oikawa shows up in 402. I hope we at least see him on the Olympic Stage. OIKAWA DESERVES IT.

1. So, who are we missing that hasn’t been shown yet?

We still need to see the rest of Nekoma (Lev, Yaku, Yamamoto, Kai....could they be in the stands or on the Japan team? I guess we’ll find out!)

We haven’t seen Daishou and Mika -- I would love to see them watching or narrating in the audience during the Olympic game.

And finally, yes, we’ve seen Tendo in the Chapter 395 flashback, but we’ve never seen what he’s DOING. Furudate has shown us with every character what they’ve been doing since the timeskip....EXCEPT TENDO. I’m calling it that he’ll appear one more time next chapter, too.

So....guys....I’m staying off of Social Media from Wednesday to Sunday next week, to prep for the last chapter and not be spoiled. I’m going to do a live reaction for YouTube, and I’ll post it here. You can see the one I did for 401 now.

Furudate, this series has been immaculate. Time for one more round.

Let’s all cry together next week.

2K notes · View notes

caterpellas · 4 years

Text

munich nights • harry styles

summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry’s relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.

warnings: smut (oral m recieving)

genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut

pt 1/? (two is here) word count: 4k

a/n: this is my first time writing in like a year so some feedback would be amazing, pls be kind and show some love to my crumby attempt lol

chapter playlist :D

harry.

he was sort of your anchor. unspoken, of course, that he had taken such a high profile role in your life. he didn’t need to know, to know. you were certain it worked in reverse, that you grounded him just like he did for you.

you’re not sure of the timestamp on the beginning of your friendship, sometime 3 years ago after mindlessly chatting in a shoreditch bar, at the sort of venue you were both cackling over after a couple of overpriced gin and tonics.

“i’m not sure why i came here, it really isn’t my scene,” you said after calming your laughter down.

“me neither. i’m not all that into £18 cocktails made with organic fruit juice,” he jested back, although you felt a hint of sadness in the next, “it makes me miss home.”

after that you clicked instantly.

you both bonded over being musicians; your styles contrasted entirely though. his band, who you met a few occasions later, were the antithesis to yours. mitch and sarah looked and sounded like they were fresh from a 70’s pop rock band, whilst your bassist and drummer, both twins, had buzzed heads and black dr martens on 24/7. the differences between you and him didn’t matter in the slightest. which is why, after 18 months of building the strongest friendship you’d had in your life, he asked you and your band to come on tour with him.

touring with your best friend and now biggest fan was the single greatest experience of your life. you would admit to the apprehension you first felt about opening for harry as your music wasn’t exactly in keeping with his genre- you were a little grungier then his soft style. i suppose the opposites between you is what enhanced everything about your relationship, musically and personally. in articles harry was always praised for his effeminate fashion choices, and since gaining some recognition as his opener, the articles were now mentioning how you dressed too, hyping up your more boyish, ‘can’t be bothered’ clothing taste you’d developed over your years in the band. your shoes were always chunky and platform, your top or bottoms usually oversized and always with the same thick chain around your neck. to some, your style seemed intimidating but it couldn’t be further from the truth. harry knew that best of all.

3 months into the tour now, you had made it to munich for the 1st night of your european portion of the tour. you and harry were sat next to one another on the plane, sharing an earpod each, playing music from your playlist titled “h”. you hadn’t been able to sleep on the overnight flight, after reading a particularly disturbing article about harry’s recent paparazzi shots. “harry styles’ player ways making a comeback?” it read, and pictured him with a couple models you’d met in new york together after going out for the night. you couldn’t place why but the article made you feel sick. you put it down to seeing such a close friend’s name slandered in the press, and you hoped he hadn’t read it yet. harry was often disheartened after reading the gossip people like to spread about him, occasionally involving you as well.

“you seem very deep in thought.” harry’s morning voice could be heard over the sound of steely dan in your ears. turning to him, one of his eye’s peering at you, you reply, “not really- just thinking about the set list.”

“you need to switch off your work brain sometimes,” he grins up at you, “have a little more fun! munich will be great, lots of beer to try.”

“of course that’s what you look forward to most. you know munich is filled with some beautiful architecture and history right?”

“that’s great and all, but you know what else they have?” harry questions you and you shake your head.

“oktoberfest.”

you arrived at your airbnb not long after- harry’s band and yours all preferred staying in a large house or apartment then some posh hotel that didn’t feel quite as welcoming. harry’s manager picked the place out, opting for a villa that sleeps 10 people, filled to the brim with oak panelling and a big fire place in the centre of the room. there was a hot tub outside that would probably never be used in your short stay there. the kitchen had a large island in the middle and a big aga keeping the place warm in the late september weather. his manager really outdid herself this time.

“this is place is so beautiful,” you still weren’t over all of the beautiful places this tour had taken you, the short time you’d been travelling had been a sensory overload.

“you’ll really like munich, y/n,” harry said yawning, grabbing both your shoulders from behind. his touch took your mind back to the article.

“harry,” you started, reluctantly turning to face him, “i know it’s none of my business who you, you know- fuck, but i was just wondering what happened with those models after i left?” harry’s calm expression never faltered as he answered, “me and camila kissed in the taxi but then i went back to the hotel. why?” you didn’t have the strength to answer honestly, and tell him it was because the thought of him having a threesome with two supermodels made you physically wretch, but you felt an obligation to give him a somewhat truthful answer.

“i saw an article about it, the paps caught a glimpse of it,” you white-lied. if you were going to be honest with yourself, the reason him with people like camila and gina bothered you so much is because of the way you compared yourself to them. you were overall confident, you were proud of your style and “gives no fucks” attitude you’d built up over the years, but these were literal models. women who were paid, like paid a lot, because they were beautiful. harry’s dating history has had a lot of women you could never measure up to be as good as and that was a real confidence breaker.

“well anyway, are you ready for tonight’s show? we were thinking it would be cool if you guys came on with us and...”

harry, as per usual, performed with all of his heart and soul and yet again amazed you. he had been doing this for three months, playing at least three shows a week and his energy levels were still unmatchable. you were back in your dressing room, taking off your stage clothes and putting on an almost identical outfit, wiping the sweat off your brow and upper lip. the monitor in your room played harry’s set, and you had to find any way you could to distract yourself from his performance before you ended up fantasising about the way his sweaty curls cling to his neck and how you wished he was sweating like that just for you, for an entirely different reason.

“thank you so much munich!” you hear harry’s accent through the small tv, and look up to see him panting and grinning, before running off stage. you had no idea why, but tonight there was a small amount of nervousness about you. since reading the article, you’ve had to address the gnawing idea that you could possibly have feelings for harry that were more than just your deep set friendship. would you act differently about the man you loved more than anyone in this world? you didn’t want things to change- they were perfect with him. he’d jest with you when you became too much of a perfectionist about your latest song, telling you to stop thinking so hard or you’ll have an aneurysm. if people commented on his style or yours, he’d laugh it off and tell everyone he’s “the woman in the relationship” sarcastically, and you’d be in awe at how he essentially said a huge “fuck you” to gender norms. he made you comfortable being you and you coveted his ability to be so happy being him. the thought of this bond being broken frightened you to your core. the knock at your door was a good signal for your thoughts to end.

“you coming y/n?” the group of you were all headed to a german beer bar, since harry was so eager to try the world famous pilsner. finding a large lounge space with sofas inside the bar, you all sat and ordered a round, celebrating a good night’s work.

“to the first night in europe,” you toasted, “cheers!” all your glasses clinked together and the nervous feeling started to fade finally. sat next to harry, you discussed the tour so far, he told a story about being in one direction and it reminded you of a hilarious story from when you were 15, when you used to listen to emo music and swore how much you hated one direction, and they all laughed at the irony. if you had told your 15 year old self this was where you’d be at 21, you’d have snorted and laughed till you cried. but life works out in strange ways and you wouldn’t change it for a second. a few drinks in and any of those nervous feelings about what harry was to you had evaporated like alcohol till you eventually had to remind yourself that whilst your hand was on harry’s knee, it meant nothing. and the way he leans forward to you as he laughed at your not-so-funny joke. but those reminders were getting weaker the more his touch started to linger after he went to go and grab his pint the same time you did.

“we really must stop meeting like this,” he jokes as your hand rubs against his for the 50th time that might and you laugh at him because your afraid if you don’t play it off as a joke you’ll lean over and kiss him. you find yourself in need of a distraction from his low buttoned shirt and endless black ink drawn across his chest that you can see in high definition when your this close to him.

“i’m going to get another round,” you exclaim dramatically, telling yourself more than the rest of the group. making your way over to the bar, you can feel harry’s vision bearing into your back as you lean against the counter to get service.

“another round of pilsners on the table’s tab please,” you ask as soberly as you can. you’re not off your face yet, but the alcohol is definitely present, surrounding the corners of your vision.

“i’d rather by you a drink.” a slightly german accent crowds your ears and you look over to see a man, not all that different to some of the guys in harry’s band, smirking at you.

nervous, you reply, “no you don’t need to do that we have a tab here.”

“i insist.” afraid to be impolite you quietly thank him, and turn back to the bar. you can’t even think of chatting to guy at a bar whilst the man you love is sat so close by. even though it’s not returned, the pain of giving him up to flirt with a stranger is too much to bare.

“so what brings you to a local’s bar like this one?”

“me and my friends are working here for the night.”

“just here for the night? such a shame,” his smile, although attempting to seem unthreatening, is making you uncomfortable. the bartender seems to be taking forever with your order.

“i’m staying in a hotel a few minutes away, come and join me and their bar for a real drink?” your heart was pounding. you rarely got hit on so you were a little out of practice on how to deal with persistent assholes like these ones.

“i can show you how the germans like to do it.” that was it- he’d gone too far and you were so embarrassed by this point you were too humiliated to even reply to him. your neck was getting hotter and you could feel your cheeks reddening.

“you okay?” harry’s voice took you out of your panic-stricken state, “you were taking a while.”

turning to harry and preparing to tell him how this man won’t get the message, the german creep pipes up, “she’s fine mate. we were just discussing a date.”

“listen mate, i suggest you back off. alright?” harry grabbed your hand, tightly, and guided you out of the bar.

“harry where are we going?” you could barely comprehend what had happened in the last five minutes to even realise he was hailing a taxi.

“back to the house. i’ll text the others.”

“harry i’m fine honestly it’s no-“

“who said i was fine? i wanted to leave and i thought maybe you did too.” he was angry, which wasn’t something you saw in harry often. he was a happy guy, and optimistic about most things in life.

“is this because of that guy?”

“of course it is y/n.”

“i’m sorry i didn’t realise he’d be an assho-“

“why’re you apologising?”

this shut you up. you didn’t know why. this wasn’t the first time a guy had been slightly predatory towards you and you doubted it would be the last. after the first couple times your in situations like this you tend to see yourself as the problem and not the guys doing it.

“i don’t know, harry.” you climbed into the cab together and harry gave them the address, seeming somewhat cooled off from earlier. your head was buzzing from the alcohol and the fact that harry had essentially rescued you from what could have been a scary situation.

“harry?”

“yeah, y/n?”

“why did you kiss camila?” alcohol had made you more outspoken and you asked the question that had been driving your nervous energy all night.

“why are you asking?”

a little more honestly then last time, you answered, “i’m just curious.” harry shifted in his chair, slightly unnerved by the question. his whole demeanour had shifted entirely from earlier. he was close and warm with you, the friend you’d become addicted to being with. now he was closed off and moody- a rare sight for anyone who knew him well. you could have picked a better time to ask the question, of course, but you had to know. you had other questions too, like why he was so angry right now, and why did he care that i was chatting with a guy at the bar, even if he was a creep.

“because she wanted to kiss me and i wanted to kiss her. the same reason most humans kiss,” there was a slight element of humour back in his voice now.

“and that was it?”

“yep.”

“hmm.” you tried to ponder this, but your attention span was limited when you were this inebriated. your thought process had quickly moved from harry’s sex life to harry in general and his outfit of the evening- a personal favourite. he’d worn white cream trousers with a vest top and an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, along with the necklace you’d given him last christmas. you could see his two swallows peaking from the straps of his wife beater and your mind wandered to the thought of having your mouth against them. against all his tattoos, individually placing a kiss on each and everyone that you had grown to fall in love with.

you remembered the memory of harry coming with you to get your largest tattoo, a greek statue on your upper arm.

“harry you know this isn’t the first one i’ve gotten?” you laugh at how hard he was clutching your hand in the chair next to your seat.

“i know but i’m so excited for you. i want you to know i’ll be sat here the whole time to hold your hand,” he squeezes your hand to emphasise his point.

“harry i’m getting another tattoo not going into life-altering surgery.”

but inside, you were squealing at his words.

“y/n?”

harry’s less chipper current voice took you out of your memory and back to the cab in munich.

“you’ve been staring at my chest for a couple minutes,” his brows were furrowed as he studied your face.

“i want to lick it.” if someone had asked you why you answered with that, you genuinely couldn’t give them a good answer. alcohol didn’t do much to you, except allow you to have fun, and lose any sense of a filter. now was a perfect example of the effects. harry’s eyes widened at your candour- and so did yours. his calm expression only faltered for a few seconds though, before it returned to his neutral, warm face.

“what else?”

“i-uh- what?”

“what else were you thinking about?” your heart was beating so loudly you were sure harry could feel it across in his seat. why was harry asking this? you didn’t want him to know about your thoughts- they were far too embarrassing and far too private.

“i was thinking about all your tattoos,” you confessed.

“i was thinking about yours too.” you thought about all of your tattoos and remembered the dog rose you had on the back of your thigh, as well as the koi carp on your hip bone.

“which ones?”

“the flowers and the fish.” you gulped, knowing he was thinking of your most risqué tattoos.

harry, unusually, was completely serious as he said, “i thought about licking yours too.” you didn’t know where you stood with harry now. you were sat in a taxi, having the conversation with him that you thought would never happen. he wants you the same way you want him. he may not want you the same way a nagging voice told you. he could just be looking for an easy fuck, and you thought to yourself that even if that was all he wanted, you’d still give yourself to him.

“harry-“

“maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore, yeah?” you felt like you could cry- how could he not want to talk, and you were on tour together? this was the most gut wrenching feeling to have him tell you not to talk anymore. harry studied your face as you lip began to quiver, “jesus y/n i meant about the current conversation. of course i want to keep talking to you, i love you- you know, like a friend.”

“like a friend?” you couldn’t ever begin to describe how your heart felt like it fell to the pit of your stomach whilst the acid slowly burnt it away. friends is it. harry isn’t yours to have and he never will be, he just had to remind you in words of this.

“well we’re both a little drunk and clearly turned on- maybe just this once it could be more than friends? just for tonight, i mean?” harry’s clear green eyes didn’t stop looking into yours, and he seemed, i’m not sure, hopeful? as if on cue, the taxi took you back to your villa which was warmly lit from inside and you felt a nervous excitement crawl up your arms and legs at what could possibly come next. harry gave the driver the cash and you dashed quickly to the door of the house, the cool september air cutting through you both dressed inappropriately for the time of year. it dawned on you that your outfit- a big vintage men’s shirt with your oldest and favourite pair of dr martens with sheer tights- wasn’t the wisest choice. harry fumbled with unlocking the door and opened it to find the fire lit and the lights dimmed. it was more romantic than either of you would ever mention out loud but it felt like the house was routing for you. you weren’t sure where harry wanted this to go next, the air beginning to stiffen and feel awkward.

turning to face him, you started, “harry i-“ his lips met yours in an instance and any of the awkwardness left in the room had been dissolved by harry’s soft kiss. he tasted good, despite the beer you’d both been drinking and had you not been intoxicated by the pilsner and harry’s gentle touch, you’d probably care about things like breath. harry grabbed you by the shoulders, much like he did earlier that same day, and guided you into the room further, finding the large sofa and pushing you onto it. falling back, you glanced up at his towering figure. harry was already tall, but his powerful presence added a less literal height to him, and his shadow looked over you. you couldn’t help but stare at him as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders, exposing some of your favourite tattoos of his. you got to your knees so that you were closer to his body and you finally relaxed in his presence, touching all the places you’d dreamed about. your hands raked up his torso to his chest and his head leant down to kiss you again. his lips were perfect and seemed made to be against yours so tightly, and made for the crook of your neck as well as they kissed and sucked there too. the fire in the corner of your eyes illuminated the small amount of gold in harry’s hair and he looked as angelic as he always did in your dreams.

“am i better than him?” harry murmured against your neck. the question caught you off guard. he’d only known one other person you’d had a sexual relationship with since you two became friends and that was a sound tech from one of his old touring groups that you had a small fling with. him and harry never got along and harry even accused him of purposely messing his sound up during a performance once. harry has walked in on you giving him head in your dressing room once and it was incredibly awkward but you both moved past it.

“who are you talking about?”

“you know, that arsehole sound tech from the american tour. do i kiss you better than him?” you could hear the layers to his voice- he was asking with a confidence that you felt straight in your core, but there was another layer to it- insecurity.

“god yes,” you gushed, he had to at least know how he physically made you feel even if you can’t admit your feelings, “you kiss far better then he ever could.”

an idea came into your head at this, “in fact, i bet you’ll feel better in my mouth then he did.” harry jaw slacks slightly and you give him a shy smile. talking like this wasn’t something you ever tried when you were having sex, but harry made you want to be honest. it was the closest you could get to confessing your love to him, and you’d take what you could get from harry right now. stunned into silence, you continue to undress harry, removing his vest to expose his lean stomach and small trail of hair from his belly button, that you kissed all the way down. he let out a sharp breath as soon as you got to the top of his pubic bone, and you finally noticed just how hard harry already was. with a little fascination, you dared to take it to the next level and cupped his length through his trousers, causing harry to groan at the contact. he felt big in your small hand, you couldn’t wait to reveal him, impatiently struggling with his zipper.

“woah, y/n, slow down,” harry puts a finger under your chin and you look up under your lash at him, knelt below him. his smile is a classic harry smile and for a brief second this feels like more than a casual fuck.

“you’re still wearing too much clothing.” harry bends slightly to get to the bottom of your shirt and speedily pulls it over your head, revealing your black cotton bralet and tights. harry’s mouth watered at the sight of you in nothing but your underwear and boots, your long hair falling in messy waves around your minimally tattooed arms. your sure your black eyeliner is smudged and your gloss practically jin existent but harry’s eyes make you feel like he wants nothing more then to fuck you.

“that’s much better,” he smiles again at you, and you take that as a good cue to continue on his member. eagerly, your hands go straight back to his flies, rapidly undoing them and letting his loose fit trousers fall from his hips, exposing his form fitted boxers and you get a much better idea of just how big harry’s cock really was. without realising you mumble, “i want you in my mouth so bad,” under your breath.

“fuck say that again.”

looking under your lashes again, you repeat, “i want your cock in my mouth so bad.” harry groans as his eyes roll back, his words almost being enough without your touch. but your hand still went back to his dick, pulling it out from the restraint of his boxers. it was thick and bigger then you had been with before. without missing a beat, your hand pumped him a few times, and his hips reacted instantly. as if beckoning for your lips to surround his cock, his hips thrust towards you again, and you obliged, licking and then parting your wetted lips for the head of his dick. the pre-cum touched your tongue and it urged you to take more of him further, swiping your tongue on the underside as you push more in. harry moans, gripping your scruffy hair in his large hand, and had to restrain from pushing your mouth around his whole length. as your mouth got acquainted with him, you started to move up and down the length, as harry’s moans got higher and louder.

“y/n your mouth is fucking magic.” the praise went straight to your clit and your underwear was dampening at the knowledge of the dirty things your mouth was doing.

“can you- fuck- can you grab my balls?” you responded immediately and cupped them lightly whilst continuing to bob your head on his cock.

“didn’t know you could you use your mouth for such dirty things, y/n. do i fill you better then he did?”his jealousy fuelled you to go even quicker, this time switching up to concentrating on his swollen head, your tongue lapping against it feverishly, whilst your hand pumped the rest of him. the combination of your hand and mouth was enough to drive harry insane.

“you do so good y/n, i’m gonna cum soon okay?” you release him from your mouth, and keep stroking him, eager for him to orgasm. you couldn’t describe the desperation you had to see the way he looked as he climaxed. if you were to die after this, you knew you would die happy, if only to have seen harry in that state of euphoria that only you could bring him to.

“fuck y/n i’m gonna cum,” harry pants, his thighs tensing and his eyes glazing over. you aim him over your chest and feel his load fall all over your breasts, soaking your bralet as he lets out a breathy moan. his breathes are loud and aside from the fire crackling are the only noise filling the space of the living room. you let his now soft cock go and fall back onto the sofa, too tired to think about all of what just happened, the only thought on your mind is of harry’s moans on repeat. your chest is sticky but you’re too exhausted to care. harry has slowly crept over to sit next to you on the sofa, and you’re unspokenly thankful he hasn’t distanced himself afterwards.

“i need to clean you up.” harry disappears as quickly as he arrived and comes back with a warm flannel. wiping your chest, you watch his face as his brows furrow delicately on his forehead and his mouth is slightly crooked in concentration. you loved every single portion of his face, and suddenly it meant something different. you had seen his face at it’s most real and vulnerable and you had that memory forever.

unfortunately moments like the one you and harry had finally shared don’t last forever, and once harry’s done wiping your breasts off, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, grabs his clothes and leaves you on the sofa.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #friends to lovers #bestfriend!harry #fine line album #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles icons #harry styles one shot #writing #one direction smut

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albertasunrise · 3 years

Text

It's Yours - Chapter 3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Summary: You and Javier have been sleeping together for almost two years but after his name was leaked by the papers, he is sent home for investigation. You remain behind with Steve to catch Escobar but when he’s finally dead, you decide to go after the man you’ve fallen for. You don’t like what you find when you finally reunite with him.

Warnings: Angst, Kissing

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader

Note: I picture that Si looks like Charlie Hunnam, hot but with the kindest eyes and face.

The guest house was beautiful. The wood panelling was whitewashed with two potted orange trees sat either side of the steps that lead up to the porch, a swinging bench hanging to the left and a small table and chairs say to the right of the front door. Javier unlocks the painted, white, door and leads you inside to the lounge with minimalistic decor. It was clear that the place wasn’t finished but it was certainly liveable.

‘The bedrooms are through here.’ He states as he motions with an open hand for you to follow.

He takes you down a long hallway. The first door to your left is a bedroom, its small with a single bed on one side and a desk and bookshelves on the other, then a little further on to the right is a bathroom, tiled white with a large double shower, clawfoot bath and double sink. Javier watches you as you admire each room you pass. He comes to a stop next to a door at the far end of the hall and you glance at him before heading inside. The room’s walls are painted a warm shade of red with a four-poster bed stood proudly within. A door sat in the centre of the wall opposite the bed with a wardrobe on one side and a dresser on the other, both the same rich shade of brown as the bed.

‘This is beautiful Javi.’ You say as you turn to look at him, noting his nervous expression.

‘The place isn't finished yet but I hope you’ll be comfortable here.’ He states ‘Well at least until you find a place or whatever.’

‘I’m sure I will be.’ You reply with a smile.

‘There’s no food in the fridge, didn’t get a chance to buy anything in but Pops has invited you to dinner tonight if you want to join us.’ He pauses as he studies your expression ‘Unless you and Si have plans.’

‘Si’s working tonight.’ You reply and he nods ‘I’d love to join you and your father. Be nice to get to know our baby’s grandpa.’

Javier’s heart tugged at the mention of the tiny being growing inside of you, the being that he had helped create but then his heart ached a little as he remembered that you wouldn't be raising this baby together. He showed you where the towels were and how all the appliances in the kitchen worked and then left you alone. You took your time looking around a little more before picking up the phone to call Si liked you'd promised.

‘Hey, baby.’ You say sweetly, grinning down the phone like a loon ‘I’m here. The place is lovely.’

‘That’s great baby.’ He replies ‘Everything okay? Not weird or anything?’

‘Well of course things are a little weird.’ You chuckle ‘I’m pregnant with my partner’s baby and living in a guest house on his father’s ranch. No way for this not to be weird.’

Si chuckles in reply and you laugh along with him, chewing your bottom lip as you swoon over him.

‘He’s invited me to join him and his dad for dinner tonight.’ You start ‘Should probably get to know my baby’s only grandparent.’

‘Probably.’ Si teases ‘But I’m taking you for breakfast tomorrow morning beautiful.’

‘Oh, are you indeed?’

‘What?’ He chuckles ‘Can’t a guy treat his girl?’

‘So I’m your girl am I?’ You tease, eyebrows raised in feigned surprise.

‘I hope so.’

‘I hope so too.’ You grin ‘See you tomorrow handsome.’

‘Bye baby.’

You hang up the phone and practically shake with excitement. You’d not felt this excited about someone in a long time. Simon exhilarated you in a way that only Javi had before, but you hadn’t been Javier’s girl. You unpack your clothes and decide to take a walk around the ranch, surprised at how many animals Javi’s father has. You perch yourself on the bench that overlooks the two horses you’d seen that first day you came, smiling as they play and prance.

‘Those two never stop.’ Chuckles Javier as he walks up beside you.

‘Do you ride?’ You ask, glancing up at him as he watches the two mares play.

‘Yeah.’ He replies plainly as he looks down at you ‘You?’

‘Used to.’ You reply with a smile ‘Haven’t in years.’

‘Well, maybe we can go for a ride some time.’ He says sweetly and you smile at him.

‘I’d like that.’ You pause as you place your hand on your belly ‘I uh… I made an appointment to get a scan done. It’s on the 17th.’

‘Okay great.’ He replies as he perches himself on the edge of the bench.

‘I’ll probably need you to drive me. I need to return the car tomorrow.’ You state and he nods.

‘Do you need me to collect you tomorrow after you give it back?’

‘No Si’s coming with me.’ You reply, a pang of guilt rearing its head when you mention his name ‘He’s actually going to take me to breakfast tomorrow morning so I’ll be gone early.’

‘Oh right.’ He replies, unable to hide his disappointment.

‘What?’

‘It’s nothing.’ He replies, giving you an unconvincing smile.

‘Javier I know when you’re lying. What is it?’

‘Pops bought a load of extra food in. He assumed as you had no groceries that you’d join us for breakfast too.’ He replies honestly, grimacing as he spoke.

‘I’ll cancel with Si.’

‘No don’t.’ Javier shakes his head ‘Why don’t you invite him? There’s plenty for us all. Pops won’t mind.’

‘Javi-.’

‘It’s fine really.’ He says, giving you a small smile ‘I better get back to work. There’s a really nice walk down that way.’ He says as he motions to a small dirt track ‘Just don’t leave the path. So easy to get lost.’

‘Okay.’ You reply as you watch him stand ‘Thanks.’

He gives you a brief nod and leaves, heart aching for you as he walks towards his truck. He doesn't want Si there but he knows that that man can offer you everything he can't so he has to accept he's lost you to the nicest man he knows.

‘Chucho, these are the best Enchiladas I have ever eaten!’ You gush and the man grins at you ‘Actually Javi made these.’

‘You can cook?’ You make no attempt to hide your surprise.

‘Yeah well, I’m Mexican. Cooking was forced onto me from a young age.’ He chuckles.

‘Well, these are delicious Javi.’ You smile ‘At least I know the baby will eat well when it visits.’

Javier’s face drops at this and you feel your stomach twist. You hadn't really discussed what the arrangement was going to be. It was a little early on to be thinking about it but you’d somewhat assumed that you would move back to DC and the baby would come to visit during the holidays. The distance is a bit much for alternating weekends.

‘Have you thought about what you want it to be?’ Asks Chucho, trying to relieve some of the tension.

‘Not Fussed’ ‘Girl’

You look up and Javier in shock, a small smile tugging at your lips.

‘You want a girl?’ You question ‘Didn’t know you’d given it any thought.’

He shrugs as he chews ‘I dunno… I've just always thought if I have a kid, I’d like it to be a girl. Boy’s are hard work.’ He chuckles.

‘You really not thought about it Chica?’ Asked Chucho, smiling at you.

‘Honestly, as long as it’s healthy I’m happy.’ You reply, smiling back at him.

‘Javi said your boyfriend is joining us for breakfast.’ You nearly choke on your food at this statement, you’d not labelled him yet.

‘Uh… yeah.’ You reply ‘If that’s okay with you.’

‘Not a problem.’ He replies ‘Plenty of food.’

‘Thank you, Chucho.’

Dinner goes by with relative ease. Some leftovers get wrapped up for you, you thank Chucho for a wonderful evening and then Javier walks you back to the guesthouse, casserole dish in hand. Stopping beside the front door you take the dish for Javi and smile sweetly at him, willing your heart to slow down.

‘Thank you, Javi.’ You start, feeling your heart flutter a little as he looked at you with his expressive brown eyes ‘Was a really lovely evening.’

‘Glad you enjoyed yourself.’ He replied ‘Goodnight.’

He leans in and kisses your cheek, your heart stopping as his soft lips make contact with your skin. You let out a shaky breath as he pulls away, just enough that he can look you in the eye and you find your gaze flitting between his lips and his glittering brown orbs. In the blink of an eye, his lips are on yours, kissing you with fervour and after the initial shock, you’re then kissing him back. Then your brain catches up with you and you push him away with your free hand, chest heaving as you feel tears forming.

‘We can't do this Javi.’ You sob.

‘Hermosa-.’

‘No… We can’t.’ You interrupt ‘I’m with Si. I care about him and he doesn't deserve this.' You pause as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand 'Goodnight Javier.’

You quickly unlock the door and disappear inside and leaving a heartbroken man in your wake.

‘You don’t have to do this baby.’ You say as you walk towards the main house with Si at your side ‘Still time to back out.’

‘Well, I should probably get to know the sober version that is the father of my girlfriends baby.’ He states and your heart skips a beat ‘If this is heading where I think it is then we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.’ He finishes as he spins you around to kiss you passionately, beard tickling your lips and making you giggle.

‘Girlfriend eh?’ You question with a wink.

‘That okay?’

‘More than.’ You reply as you place a sweet kiss on his lips.

You knock on the door three times and you’re greeted by Chuchos smiling face ‘You didn’t tell me Si’s your man!’ He exclaims as he gives the man a friendly pat on his shoulder.

‘Good to see you Chucho.’ Replies Si as he grins at him.

‘Come in, come in!’ He says excitedly as he motions you in with his hand.

The table is covered in food and you can’t help but smile at the effort that’s been made. Javier is busy at the stove and you make your way over to him, peering at the pan and seeing that he’s making scrambled eggs.

‘Good morning.’ He says with a smile and you wonder if he’s forgotten about what happened last night.

Then the smell hits you and your stomach rolls. You say nothing, just make a b-line for the bathroom and Javier’s face drops as he watches you run. Si sprints after you and holds your hair as you empty the contents of your stomach, letting out a sob as you try to breathe through it.

‘You okay?’ Si asks as he rubs comforting circles on your back.

‘What happened?’ Asks a flustered Javier as he appears in the doorway.

‘Morning sickness.’ Replies Si as you rest your head remains resting on your forearm ‘She gets set off by the smell of eggs and Coffee.’

‘Shit I-.’

‘You didn’t know man it’s fine.’ Interrupts Si and Javier nods before leaving, not wanting you or him to see the tears forming in his eyes.

He feels like he should know these things. You’re carrying his baby yet the local barman knows more about your triggers than him. You walk back in to the kitchen ans see him tossing the eggs into the trash and your brows furrow.

‘What are you doing?’

‘The smell makes you sick so we won’t eat them.’

‘You didn’t need to do that Javi.’

‘It’s fine Chica really.’ States Chucho ‘There’s still plenty of food.’

Si and Chucho talk each other’s ears off over breakfast but Javier doesn't say a word. You note that his eyes are bloodshot, that he keeps wiping his nose with his napkin and that he avoids any form of eye contact with you. You help clear up, hoping that it will give you a moment alone with Javier to talk but he doesn't say a word to you, doesn’t look at you and you feel yourself getting more and more irritated as it goes on.

‘Can I speak to you a moment?’ You say suddenly as you toss the drying cloth down and grab his arm, pulling him through the backdoor ‘What the fuck is your problem?’

‘What? He growls.

‘You’ve been in a shit mood all morning.’ You spit ‘I’m sorry that I got sick because of the eggs. You didn’t need to act like a child about it! You put this kid in me. You don’t get to be upset about some silly eggs.’

‘You think that's why I’m upset?’ He says, raising his voice a little ‘I’m upset because I don’t know what triggers morning sickness in the mother of my child and yet the local barman does. I’m upset that I won't get to raise my first kid with the woman I love. I’m upset that I’m not going to be able to do the feeds with you, the night changes... I’ll miss watching them grow, walk, probably talk. This is not how I imagined things would be when I finally became a father but it’s what I deserve right? I’m a bad man. I don’t deserve the perfect life with a wife and a baby. But he does!’ He finishes as he points at the closed door before he storms through it, leaving you speechless.

The woman he loves?

What were you supposed to do with that information?

You looked through the windows and saw him swiping up his keys and bidding his father and Si goodbye before leaving them as abruptly as he left you. Then your eyes drift to Si who’s looking at you with a sympathetic expression and your heart flutters. You’d waited years to hear Javi say that he loved you. It had been all you'd ever wanted but you also knew that he’d fuck it up. He wouldn’t be able to prioritise you and this baby. The job would always come first. Si was everything you’d ever wanted in a man. He was kind, loving, committed. He knew what he wanted and he would stop at nothing to get it and what he wanted is you. You could feel yourself falling hard from him already and that scared you because you had to decide. Do you want the man you’re in love with? The father of your child. Or do you want the man you’re falling in love with? The man who you know will give you everything you’ve ever wanted.

Time to decide.

Chapter 4

#javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña #narcos fanfiction #narcos #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #fanfiction

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 years

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The Voyage So Far: Whole Cake Island

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano

sanji is such a self-sacrificial idiot. and i know that’s not exactly a ground-breaking statement, but it does define the entire first half of whole cake island, so it may as well be reiterated here: sanji does not value his own life as much as he should, and fails to grasp that other people care about him outside of what he can offer them, which is why he’s so surprised when luffy later comes charging headlong into big mom’s territory.

zou is a really good little arc, and it also mirrors the themes of whole cake island in miniature. the minks collectively make a massive sacrifice and risk absolutely everything to protect raizou, and wci is essentially all about loyalty and sacrifice, whether its sanji giving himself up to protect the strawhats and zeff or luffy and the strawhats facing impossible odds to rescue him to pedro giving up his life to get them all out of there safe.

huge fan of this panel partly just because it’s cute and partly because it’s a great visualization of just how dysfunctional the heights are in one piece.

zou is one of my favorite settings in one piece just for the sheer creativity of it. zunesha is so massive and so mysterious and so strange. and she really looks unspeakably old just from how she’s drawn, looming over everyone and everything, eyes hollow and empty, an entire forest and an entire people growing on her back that have been there for thousands of years. it’s just so neat and so wildly inventive.

this applies to zou as a whole, but i think it’s really cool how all the little threads that will become important during wano are set up so effectively even before whole cake island starts. we get this shot here of kidd beat to shit and then forget it because so much happens between here and when he shows up again in wano, but then oda punks us into caring about him and killer so much and this retroactively becomes very important.

ever since his introduction sanji’s always been a character basically defined by his adherence to his principles: always feeding the hungry, never wasting food, never hurting women, never using his hands in combat. he’s probably the most firmly principled person on the crew, and that’s more obvious in whole cake island than in any other arc except maybe baratie.

sanji is very stubbornly good, which puts him in acute contrast to his siblings and their general cruel apathy. it’s something i really like about him.

i’m a huge fan of big mom’s introduction, which is also our introduction to tottoland in general. it’s cutesy and colorful and musical while simultaneously being deeply creepy, with lyrics about killing people for ingredients and making jam out of blood, which is a great summary of the core of big mom’s character. she’s an old lady all in pink who lives in a cartoon fairy-tale land- but she’s also a deranged cannibal, and all those singing trees and flowers are animated by the life she steals from her citizens as tax.

whole cake island draws on a lot of fairy tale motifs (especially with brulee), and the contrast that saccharine appearance creates with how fucked up the actual content is is super effective and memorable, i think.

honestly i find most of the content of sanji with the vinsmokes just plain upsetting, which i’m sure is intentional, so i’m not going to go into it a lot here, but i am including this panel of him kicking niji in the face.

sad as this scene turns out, luffy’s absolute thrill at finding sanji and the corresponding bafflement of the vinsmokes as to how the fuck he even got there always kinda makes me grin.

i always love seeing people’s underestimations about luffy get thrown right the hell out the window- because let’s be honest, he’s easy to underestimate, he’s like a five and a half foot tall rubber teenager and not very physically intimidating and all, and then he goes and pulls off the impossible without blinking.

the thing that makes luffy unique as a captain has always been his willingness to rely on his crew, and his willingness to openly admit that reliance, like he did all the way back in arlong park. most of the other contenders for the pirate king’s crown we’ve seen- big mom, kaidou, crocodile once upon a time- have been stubbornly individualistic people who explicitly shown not to care for their crew and allies, generally seeing them as disposable.

luffy is the opposite of all of them, because his crew are everything to him, to the point of being willing to sacrifice his dream for them. and the loyalty he wins from them in return is unmatched, as opposed to big mom and kaidou, who both get cheerfully betrayed not just by their own crewmates but by their own children.

brook is really cool in whole cake island, and honestly it comes at just the right time for him as a character. ever since his introductory arc in thriller bark until this point he hasn’t gotten a ton of focus, so it’s great that he gets to be the mvp here and demonstrate exactly why he’s a strawhat pirate and how much he’s grown over the timeskip.

oda is generally really good at introducing and handling characters contained to a single arc/saga, but i do think he absolutely knocked it out of the park with pedro. he has an interesting backstory, compelling motivations, and basically an entire sub-arc ending in his death that never distracts from the main plot, but only ever adds to it.

pedro really feels like a fully realized character who’s had a whole life offscreen, who we just happened to catch at the very end of his story. i think that’s super impressive.

i really love this moment, because for me, this is the moment where whole cake island becomes a tremendous arc, and where the tides begin to turn and the dominoes begin to fall, one after the other. this is sanji hitting absolute rock bottom. the one ray of light he pinned all his hopes on was a lie, and he can’t even light a fucking cigarette.

but one piece is, very often, a story about picking yourself up even when you feel like you can’t.

i think there’s something lovely about how much one piece emphasizes the value of honestly asking for help. luffy waits for nami to ask for help, and for robin to say she wants to live, and for sanji to admit he just wants to go home, and then says, “okay, i’ll make that happen.”

it just makes me so happy how happy the stawhats are to know sanji’s back with them. it reminds me a lot of how they all brush off robin’s thanks after enies lobby. sure, they’re going to have to crash the wedding and confront big mom directly and might all die, but who cares? they’ve got sanji back. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, i love how much they love each other.

i think the gangster outfits are super fun, and i love that oda is committed enough to his aesthetics to come up with an excuse to put them all in formalwear. it pays off, they all look extremely snappy.

i know i just said it in the dressrosa posts but i’m reiterating it here because this is my favorite example of it by far: i love when oda does this split-screen thing with his panels. the contrast between the two halves of pudding is so severe and yet they’re so clearly the same person i honestly just find this pair of panels fascinating to look at.

this panel also kind of gets at my favorite thing about pudding as a character, really. i know she’s a little controversial in fandom, but i’ve always found her entertaining (at least post-reveal), especially in the contrast between her unhinged evil side and her genuinely sweet romantic side and her post-wedding tendency to randomly ping-pong between the two.

i just always like reminding people that sanji is fast enough and his observation haki good enough to dodge a surprise attack, while thoroughly distracted, from katakuri.

sanji in this arc tends to get shit from a certain side of fandom for being ‘useless’ since he doesn’t have a big climactic fight despite being the focus of the arc, which i think is thoroughly missing the point. sanji is still plenty capable in combat, as demonstrated both here and later, with chiffon and oven. it just happens that his strength isn’t what saves the day ultimately, because combat ability isn’t everything, which is the entire point of the vinsmoke backstory/subplot. sanji saves the day just by being kind.

i’ll admit big mom’s flashback isn’t one of my favorites, taken in isolation- there are some parts of it that kind of unresolved (at least as of now- i still suspect they’ll be followed up eventually), and in general, although there is a tragedy to it, it doesn’t quite hit the way many of the other more effective flashbacks do. that said, i do think it does a really good job of succinctly explaining why big mom is the way she is in the present: she’s a child who was never told no, who never grew or matured past the disappearance of her adopted mother. that’s it, and that’s enough.

i’ve always been a little bit in love with how seriously and consistently one piece handles its themes of found family, and sanji outright disowning judge in whole cake island is maybe the most outright they ever get: family is found, not made. you owe nothing to your blood and are never beholden to your abusers.

and i just like that a whole lot.

i do think the tamatebako is one of the best uses of chekov’s gun i’ve ever seen. we’re first shown it at the end of fishman island, it’s revealed it got sent off to big mom rigged with explosives which is a minor “oh fuck” moment, and then it gets forgotten about, because the entirety of punk hazard and dressrosa happens in between! which is a lot!

i remember when i reached the moment in whole cake island where we’re reminded that that bomb still exists and is still waiting to explode, i just started laughing hysterically out loud, because i’d completely forgotten, and now that i remembered i was just delighted to know it was going to definitely go off at some point, almost certainly in a very satisfying way.

pedro is, if i remember right, the first time the imagery of the coming dawn that will become quite important in wano really has attention drawn to it in-text- the recurring motif is there before this, of course, dating all the way back to the names of the first chapter (romance dawn) and first island (dawn island), but this is the first time it’s actively addressed in-story.

in doing so, oda essentially presents a fresh mystery for us, but one that has been set up so consistently ever since chapter one that it feels like it fits perfectly into the world and story.

luffy’s been punching way above his weight class ever since crocodile all the way back in alabasta, fighting enemies who clearly outmatch him but always managing to win anyways, but his fight with katakuri is maybe the clearest the sheer differential in strength ever gets, because katakuri’s powers are similar enough to luffy’s that he can pull off pretty much all of luffy’s techniques, but better. so luffy has to fall back on the two things that have always been his greatest strengths, again all the way back to crocodile in alabasta: innovation and sheer fucking stubbornness.

one thing i love about one piece is how no character is immune to being clowned on. absolutely nobody. everybody looks like an idiot sometimes, and it makes everything so much more fun than if the series took itself more seriously. katakuri basically actively tries to avert this by building up a fearsome, flawless, and utterly no-nonsense persona, but it winds up failing hard because it actually only makes the contrast and surprise of his actual personality and vices that much funnier.

i’ve always loved this one panel of carrot going sulong, because she just looks so monstrous, like a true werewolf. the same goes for the shift in big mom’s design when she starts going truly mad with starvation and gets even more threatening-looking (below). i just think oda should let women be monstrously scary more often.

i do really love that the entire climax of whole cake island hinges on the degree of trust and faith the strawhats, and sanji and luffy specifically, have in each other. they’re all facing massive challenges that would seem insurmountable to an outsider- luffy facing down a yonkou’s commander with a bounty of over a billion and sanji remaking a massive cake that took months to plan and make in just a few hours, the others evading big mom’s full forces and big mom herself for a full night- but none of them have even a shred of doubt that the others can manage it.

i wrote a meta post awhile back about one piece’s concept of ‘honor in a pirates’ fight, and what it came down to is this: honor can never be expected between pirates, but the best of them will show it anyways, and it can be a very telling judge of character. nobody would expect katakuri to do this, and luffy even calls him an idiot for it, but he has enough respect for luffy as a strong opponent to do it anyways, and that’s how we know for absolute certain that even though he’s an antagonist, he’s also a good, honorable person.

i really like the gesture of luffy leaving his hat over katakuri’s mouth, especially because until this point, we’re never even given any indication that he’s really noticed it, let alone that katakuri is insecure about it. he never reacts to or comments on it (which is in itself kind of unusual from someone who tends to nickname opponents by their appearances as often as luffy does) one way or another.

and then he does this, confirming all at once that he did fully notice and understand, he just doesn’t care. which i think sums up one of the more under-appreciated aspects of luffy’s character- he’s generally way more observant than people give him credit for, especially when it comes to people, it’s just that he has a very different sense of what’s important and what’s not than your average person.

i love the sheer contrast between big mom’s delighted, rapturous singing as she devours the wedding cake against the violence taking place on screen as her army rains fire and hell down on the thousand sunny. it parallels her initial introduction at the start of the arc perfectly, and is just an excellent way to close out the arc with a bang.

i said it earlier but it bears repeating here, for a different reason: luffy is not very physically intimidating. he’s shorter than most of the other main characters, he’s a lanky teenager, he dresses casually and his most identifiable accessory is a farm hat.

but then there are times when he looks like a captain, like a future pirate king, and it just looks so natural on him. i can never get over it.

i really like that, after spending a whole arc demonstrating just how different (and how much better) sanji is than the vinsmokes, it ends like this- showing us just how similar he’s grown up to the man he’s chosen as his real family, and just how proud zeff would be of him.

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #arc: whole cake island #arc: zou #long post #not japanese

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itcamefromthetoybox · 3 years

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Prime’s Golden Boy

So when it comes to “Transformers,” there are some characters who are big names, with very few being bigger than Bumblebee, the original kid appeal character. He got a ton of toys in the original series, he’s been a main character in a bunch of cartoons, and he even got his own movie. Fans love the ‘Bee! So that’s why, today, we’ll be looking at “Origin Bumblebee,” from the Target-Exclusive “Buzzworthy Bumblebee” toyline!

Let’s take a moment to talk about what the “Buzzworthy Bumblebee” toyline is. Like I said in the introductory paragraph, Bumblebee is a big deal in the “Transformers” series. He’s the friendly, cheerful, adorable, heroic Autobot that kids flip for, so he’s gotten a bunch of toys. The “Buzzworthy Bumblebee” toyline shines a spotlight on Bumblebee by re-releasing some of his older figures with pretty new paint jobs, though with the occasional new figure thrown in. “Origin Bumblebee” is one of those new figures.

The Transformers usually turn into real vehicles and animals to blend in on Earth, since the whole deal is “robots in disguise.” The thing is, though, the Transformers aren’t from Earth. They’re from the planet Cybertron, so it makes sense that on an alien planet, the Transformers wouldn’t turn into Earth things. This gets established in the very first episode of the original cartoon, where the first two characters we meet are the Autobot inventor Wheeljack and our boy Bumblebee. When we first see them, they’re transporting fuel conductors and have turned into a pair of futuristic space vehicles, as envisioned by nerds in 1984. “Origin Bumblebee” is a figure of Bumblebee that has that original cartoon vehicle mode, from before he came to Earth and became a Volkswagen Beetle/Camaro.

Image taken from tfwiki.net

Tonight, on the Science Fiction Channel: VOLKSWAGEN IN SPACE!

Bumblebee comes with a bunch of accessories, which is pretty great. He’s got a gun and a jetpack, which he can easily hold in his hands and peg onto his back respectively, and he’s got five conductors. This actually brings us to the first big issue with this toy, and for me, it’s a big pet peeve: Bumblebee has no way to store or hold the conductors. They don’t peg in anywhere and they’re too wide to fit in his hands. Even in vehicle mode, there’s no way to store them. So you kinda just have to set them somewhere and hope you don’t lose them. That really bothers me, and I have to go on a slight tirade. If a toy comes with an accessory, you would think that there would be some way for the toy to interact with said accessory. But nope, these conductors just sit there. Like a neon pink and puce, polka dot bow tie, they don’t go with anything.

Featured: The hero of the Transformers franchise, THE INANIMATE CARBON ROD!!!! Also Bumblebee

One of the big things with modern Transformers toys is scale. Hasbro wants all the mainline figures to be the heights they are own the shows and comics. This means that Bumblebee is going to be shorter than other figures in the same set of toys. So even though he costs about $20, he’s shorter than other figures that cost the same. On the one hand, that’s annoying because you wind up paying the same amount of cash for something smaller than other toys. On the other hand, Bumblebee makes up for it with all the accessories he comes with, though the fact he can’t actually do anything with five of those accessories kinda goes smacks down that benefit.

Bumblebee’s robot mode has great articulation, which I love. He’s very posable, which comes in handy when you transform him. There is a lot of unfolding panels and moving joints, like a contortionist moving. He contorts into the saucer-like vehicle from that first episode very smoothly, which is pretty great. In his vehicle mode, the entire robot mode is smoothly hidden from above, but visible from the bottom.

8His gun and jetpack peg into the vehicle, though they don’t really look natural, especially the jetpack. There is an issue with the vehicle mode, and it really bugs me. In vehicle mode, Bumblebee can’t roll since there’s no wheels.

About as aerodynamic as a brick.

All in all, Bumblebee’s an alright toy. He’s definitely aimed at collectors, though. He has a vehicle mode from an 80’s cartoon, he has a bunch of specific props from one episode of the cartoon that he can’t actually do anything with but has because of the cartoon, and he’s roughly $20 for a smaller figure. If you want a Bumblebee for your kids, the good news is that there are a ton of options to choose from, many of which are less expensive. I have my issues with this toy and pretty much only got it because it’s Bumblebee with his original, Cybertronian, mode. If that doesn’t appeal to you, I’d honestly pass on him in favor of one of the countless other Bumblebees out there. That’s all I have to say here, so I’m signing off and wishing you happy toy hunting!

#transformers #bumblebee #autobot #autobots #Transformers generation 2 #Transformers G1 #Transformers Toy #Transformers Toys #Toy Review #toy #toys #review #transformer toy

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toukatan · 3 years

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i was listing all my favorite panels on the final chapter but i realized i listed almost every pages of it 🥺 no wonder this final chapter will be turned into postcards they are all beautiful 🥺 personally these are my favorites

i still haven't collected all my thoughts and i don't think i will ever be agdjdks all i feel since yesterday is just pure gratefulness. i'm just so incredibly happy that i got to witness this series unfold, grateful for all the people i came to be friends with along the way, lucky to be able to meet amazing bloggers, writers, content creators, fanfic writers and fanartists, and most of all, i'm entirely grateful because this series gave me opportunities to discover and ignite my love again in doing artworks, illustrations and contents to which i have already forgotten for years. it gave me a little confidence that i could be / could give something (it wasn't much i know xD but still, knowing me, i thought i'll never be able to create something) *pats my back*

i'm so happy that i really have enjoyed my stay here in the fandom because of you beni and to all the few people i became really friends with (you girls know who you are) and i love you all and cherish all the moments and crackheads stuffs we did. i remember that this roasting happened was because the angst is too much for us and that's why we have all come to an agreement to roast eren and everyone in the series. love that this community has been very helpful to me when i feel lonely and you all really did put a smile in my face. the way, we're all chaotic during chapter 123 and 138, we're all losing our minds(!) but my favorite moment will always be during 138 on how we're all betraying beni left and right front and back top to bottom 😂 it was definitely the most chaotic month we've ever been and i'm so moved on how respectful we are to each other and just chill here and vibe and just appreciate everything in the manga. it has been a joyous journey and i'll never forget this amazing experience with you all!

most of all, i thank isayama-sensei because if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be able to meet all of you! 😊💛 i cherish and adore you all! cheers to another end of an era and cheers to a new beginning! *coughs jjk roast era, i will join you soon when i catch up*

ayna it took me a whole ass week to reply to you because i didn’t wanna get all emotional again right after the chapter that i ran away to work and read other things in order to keep my mind off it please forgive me i could not handle the pain of messages like these, i was feeling too much. but now with a week gone i can collectively reply now!

but no for real, almost every single panel within chapter 139 is stunning. like if yams doesn’t consider making merch outta these i don’t know what to think!

everything you said in that paragraph i absolutely agree too— through the journey of snk we were all able to meet such amazing people no matter what it was we had to gush about. from writers, to artists, to graphic makers, to meta writers, to bloggers, to simply just enjoying the little things about snk we all found each other and that alone is a blessing. i’m so glad you found your love for art again ayna, like thank freaking god you came off anonie just so i could yell at you for being talented, stunning, never been seen before and everything in between. you’re amazing artist and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. i’m so glad snk was able to be your little paradise away from irl things— an escape with something you love with people joining you along the way adoring the same series with you.

honestly— i have no idea where the heck i would’ve been without you guys. no you don’t understand y’all really made my days and nights on end, any time i felt a little lost or out of it, you guys pulled me right back and outta there, i couldn’t be more thankful for every individual i’ve met on here. haha i remember it so well, everyone was being too angsty and we collectively decided no this ain’t it and started roasting every single little thing not matter what the heck it was. eren’s ass to his forehead please this was the peak of our culture ahdjwgjdbs oh my god not the 138 top ten anime betrayals. the way y’all went IM SO SORRY BENI AND I WAS LIKE DONT SAY SORRY THIS ON YOUE FJAGXHBWBS AND THEN WE STARTED GRILLING EACH OTHER INSTEAD HONESTLY WHAT THE HECK WERE WE DOING SHHDJSJDN i’ll cherish those days forever and more. the best days of my life— 🥺💗

i’m glad this safe space was able to make your days and you were able to meet new people. it makes me happy knowing you guys all respect one another and feel safe discussing anything and everything here. i loved seeing everyone get along from roasting to supporting each other with real life things. i honestly couldn’t have asked for more with my snk journey and im glad i was able to start it with you guys and end it with y’all. if i could do it all over again— i would in a heartbeat.

yes i will thank isayama here because without the man himself working so hard these past 11/12 years i wouldn’t have been able to meet y’all! yams you get that sauna and expect us to cry in there sir you did that and did it flawlessly. but no reals yams better get that sauna. i don’t accept no for an answer. cheers to snk and the journey we’ve had— i can’t wait for what’s next! AJKDBSJSNS JJK ROAST ERA? I THINK YES?

but no seriously. thank you for being apart of my snk journey— i love and adore every single one of y’all and couldn’t have asked for more. im honestly so glad i found you 🥺💗

#ayna used up the photo limit here and i couldn’t spam heart memes because i wanna pass away at how much i adore you #🥺💗#I SAID I WONT CRY BUT I DID NOW WHAT #replies #nitatalks

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seraphsurvival · 3 years

Text

episode 1: 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜

having completed all their challenges for week one it is time for the angels to face the music. with their votes in and team performances judged their final rankings decide who will continue on to become apart of 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇. will your favourite angel soar high or will they fall from grace ?

* note that indented + italic text like this means it is confessional footage *

the iconic seraph intro music played as the cameras focused on the show hosts nova and yen.

“good evening everyone and welcome to...” nova began before yen joined in “seraph!” they chorused.

“this week was a tough first week for our angels.” yen began before looking over at nova who enthusiastically nodded along . “they had 2 challenges to complete: the iconic angel song and a group performance.”

“having to juggle solo performances and group work proved to be quite difficult for some of our angels. both groups had their share of mishaps...” behind nova clips of the angels in their confessionals in tears or looking stressed covered the screen further proving her statement.

“but despite all of this we saw some amazing performances.” nova grinned as she turned back to all the angels on the platform behind her.

“judges, what do you think of our angels this week? who stood out the most to you?” yen questioned turning all focus to the panel of judges.

“i thought this week was fun, we got to see a different side to the angels usual concepts,” hyuna spoke first , making sunmi and j-hope nod along with her. “i personally really enjoyed ricky’s performance, it was so fun to watch. her expressions made it that much more entertaining.”

the camera focused on ricky as she bowed at the praise. her features stretched out in a bright smile as chloe squeezed her hand beside her happy for her new best friend.

“i think mine was yuri’s performance of ‘GOTTA GO’. she surprised me in a good way. i was not expecting her to stand out the way she did but i’m glad she did. i’m proud of her.” sunmi answered.

on stage yuri visibly blushed as she repeatedly bowed. her soft ‘thank you’ making sunmi smile sweetly.

“hmmm all the angels were truly excelled this week ,” j-hope chuckled , resting his head on his hand. “none of the performances were boring. did some have room for growth in technique terms? of course, but pretty much everyone performed well.”

“yeah, yeah, yeah. who was your favourite?” hyuna jokingly pushed making everyone laugh.

“if i had to pick i think my favourite would be summer’s cover of ‘DARE’. her lines were clean and moves sharp. it was great to see her do a much darker concept. you can tell why she is where she is.”

summer nodded happily as a response to j-hope’s comments. she had always been a huge fan of BTS and it took everything within her not to fangirl hearing her idol praise her for her performance.

“what about the groups what did you think?” nova questioned once again.

the judges shared a look with each other before hyuna leaned into her mic, “honestly group one really surprised us this week. im really impressed with their performance of ‘FAKE LOVE’.” the idol leaned forward to be in her fellow judge’s line of sight. “j-hope, was it up to standard?”

“it was definitely up to standard they really destroyed the performance. i feel honoured truly.” he chuckled

the entirety of group one laughed at his comment. each of the angels thanking him in their own regard, their pride evident in their faces the entire time. in juxtaposition the camera pans to team two who’s faces look less than impressed with

“overall, i’d say everyone did great today, yes there is definitely room for improvement but and i don’t think i’d be wrong if i said all us judges are proud of every single one of the angels on a successful first week,” sunmi concluded. hyuna and j-hope hummed in agreement and nodded along to every word she said. she sent the angels a reassuring thumbs up to try soothe the obvious nerves of all the angels on stage.

incase you missed it !

[ WATCH SOLO PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

[ WATCH GROUP PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

the lights dimmed as the entire mood of the studio shifted.

“even though all our angels deserve to soar high sadly for one angel their wings will be cut.” nova spoke, her serious tone emphasizing the tension in the studio.

“before we show the results here’s a refresher on how voting works: you have been voting all week for your favourite angel and those votes contribute 50 points each. these points are added to the group points.” she looked over at yen to signal her to say her next lines.

“but today’s episode has a special twist,” yen turned to the camera with a pause. “two angels will be going home today.” behind the hosts the angels heads snapped up in panic. none of them were aware of the double elimination.

“the first will be the angel with the lowest rank from the losing team, and the other will be the angel with the lowest overall ranking, even if she’s part of the winning team she’ll leave the show today.”

the silence in the studio was deafening. none of the angels dared say a word as they waited in anticipation for the results. the angels stood in the groups as they linked hands to give each other support.

“without further ado, let’s see the results.” nova spoke directing everyone’s eyes to the screen where everyone’s rankings were plastered.

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙃 𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙆 𝙊𝙉𝙀 : 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙇 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂

* every member of group 1 gets 350 points for placing first and every member of group 2 gets 250 points for placing last *

BAEBI - 1450 ( @whileinvenus )

YURI - 1300 ( @cube-vivid )

SUMMER - 1150 ( @se4sonz )

MIMI - 900 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

RICKY - 850 ( @unholiied )

HAEJU - 800 ( @hcney-moon )

CHLOE - 800 ( @chloekwon )

EDEN - 750 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

JADE - 750 ( @nct-krown )

AME - 700 ( @triptychexe )

DAHLIA - 650 ( @d3adfl0wers )

JAY - 500 ( @dulcetgg )

yuri brought her hands to her mouth, frozen in shock.

“i was not expecting to make it another week honestly,” she spoke in disbelief. “after being outshined by ricky all week, i thought it was over but here i am!” she giggled covering her mouth to hide the broad smile taking over her features.

baebi hugged her excitedly. her smile not only reflecting her pride in yuri’s high rank but also her own first place rank. pushing aside her dissatisfaction with their team losing she still was proud of what they’d done.

the same positivity was not felt as dahlia and jade saw the score board. as their team came last they knew someone was in jeopardy of going home but neither of them would’ve guessed it would be dahlia.

frozen in shock jade turned to dahlia who’s hand had flown up to her mouth as her eyes welled up. jade made quick movement to comfort dahlia before she fully broke down.

“don’t let them see you cry you know this says nothing about your talent or potential.” she whispered into dahlia’s ear. the older girl nodded along with jade’s words as she took deep breaths. as much as she was balanced now it still didn’t feel fair.

“dahlia doesn’t deserve this. she is one of the most talented girls here.” jade folded her arms as she turned her head to the side. “i can’t believe dahlia is gone and voice crack ricky is in the top 5. it doesn’t feel right.”

on the other team the girls huddle in an excited hug at their teams first place ranking. their teams ranking is what saved ame that week and she knew it. she had the second lowest rank of her team aside from jay who unfortunately had the least votes that week overall.

“at least some people voted for me”, she spoke to the camera as she let out a sigh. “i’ll just have to work extra hard next week,” she nodded as she encourage herself, trying her best to maintain the smile on her face no matter what.

in contrast to the rest of the girls , jay couldn’t keep her facade up. despite the positive energy around her she couldn’t stop the silent sobs that left her. she didn’t want her journey to end so abruptly, she deserved to stay longer mimi hanged her tightly as she let the taller girl cry into her shoulder. her eyes glossed over along with jays as she knew she was going to miss her, jay was one of the girls she’d grown closest to besides eden.

“i’m obviously going to miss jay,” mimi spoke softly wiping away at her tears. “she’s so talented i’m so sad to see her go. this week didn’t showcase her charms to the fullest,” she shook her head sadly as she sniffled.

the two eliminated girls took a step forward standing center stage as the judges said their last words.

“dahlia, how are you feeling?” nova asked as her teammates lovingly rubbed her back.

taking a deep breath dahlia spoke into the mic that was handed to her. “i’m obviously disappointed. our group didn’t go as planned and i just feel like i didn’t get to fully showcase what i’m capable of.” she sniffles loudly towards the end as she tried her best to hold in her tears.

“dahlia, you’re a talented girl. it's sad because it really felt as if you didn’t know why you were here, i couldn’t feel your passion and you need that to sell a performance.” sunmi spoke her eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned.

dahlia nodded, a sad tight lipped smile on her features as she handed to mic back. she was so focused on the rest of the team not messing up as well as feeling cheated out of the roll of main vocalist played against her. and it was too late to try again all she could do is find the spark that once lit a flame of passion in her and try again outside the show.

“jay,” j-hope sighed as the tall girl bowed her head unable to even look at the judges. “it’s sad seeing you go,” he admitted with a pout. “but i think it’s because you just haven’t found your sparkle yet and i think that’s something you have to do outside of ‘seraph’. but don’t give up and keep up the good work , and I’m sure you’ll be the next big thing.” all jay could do was nod, even having been handed the mic she couldn’t speak a word.

the focus shifted from the bottom 2 girls to ame who although safe still looked as distraught as the other angels.

“ame, you were so close to the bottom this week,” hyuna pointed out to which ame nodded her face sullen and disappointed. “you got lucky tonight but don’t let your guard down,” she pointed at the girl, giving her a knowing look. “something needs to change or you’ll be the next to say goodbye.” she warned. ame nodded once again taking a respectful bow.

the cameras focused back on the two hosts as the girls regrouped behind them.

the two girls descended the platform. dahlia wrapped her arm around jay as she still sobbed uncontrollably. the two made their way off stage waving to the remaining angels before exiting the studio completely and making their way to the dorms to pack up their belongings.

“it’s always sad to see and angel take off, especially so early in the show,” yen sighed sadly. nova hummed in agreement,” but sadly that’s how the show goes.”

“but let’s not focus on only the negatives but some positives. ladies and gentlemen give it up for our remaining 10 angels!” nova cheered making the studio erupt in excited claps and cheers. “congratulations girls you’ve made the top 10 out of hundreds of applicants!” the girls cheered once again as their moods lifted a significant amount compared to the somber mood earlier.

“that’s it for this episode! stay tuned to see how the angels spread their wings and soar through weekly challenges and compete to be a part of the ultimate super group !” yen ran over her signature closing line once again, sharing a sweet smile with her cohost

“thanks to everyone who participated and we’ll see you next week !” nova chimed in mirroring yen’s bright smile.

“goodbye !” they chorused as the 2 hosts waved at the camera before it zoomed out to focus on everyone in the studio.

*results below ! *

#[ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇 ] : ゝ ʚ fly me to the moon ɞ #bbkoc #aeskocnet #kpop idol oc #idol!au #idol!oc #oc kpop idol #kpop idol au #kpop addition #idol au

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blkgirl-writing · 4 years

Text

“Revealed To You” PART II

The Mandolorian x Fem!Reader

Summary: The air isn’t as light as it used to be after your long time partner in bounty discovers you’re actually a woman. What does it take to break the tension?

A/N: So like, My first part was strangely successful??? thank you all so much! I’m so happy it was loved by other people than myself, haha. I might make a part three, but I’m content with this.

Warnings: Smut, Blowjobs, teasing, Sexual tension, space fucking. The Reader calls Mando “Lorian”.

{Here’s part 1!}

Things had gotten...a bit complex, since mando had seen you, well, dressing.

‘You often found him staring, and definitely not backing away when you caught him. Especially when fighting together,maker, the tension could have been cut with a hot knife. Because of this, you found yourself taking off your own helmet a bit more. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t because you liked his lingering gaze. You imagined what he was thinking, where his eyes caught...

“Where to next?” you made yourself comfortable.

“How’s the child?” He asked, completely dismissing your own question. You rolled your eyes, thankful he was facing the other way.

“Sound asleep. I think that chase tuckered him out.” You sighed. A very close escape. One that tired everyone on the ship. You were sure that somewhere there had to be a stop, so hopefully you could repair some of the scuffs and blown blasters. “Where are we going next, Lorian?”

“Not sure.” a quick reply, curt. Certainly something hidden between those words. You let out a sigh, pushing yourself up from the wall. With a click of your tongue, you grasped your own baskar helmet, carefully lifting it off of your head. Strands of loose hair fell on your face, bun almost completely undone. Setting the mask on the floor, you went to fix your hair, walking over to Lorians side as you did such.

His breath caught at the sound of the metal hitting the floor, shutting his eyes tight, just for a moment.

“What are you thinking about?” Your voice was a bit muddled, hair pin between your teeth as you brushed your hair into submission.

“Why all of the questions today?” You could hear the sly smirk on his lips. It was so fucking clear. Mando wasn’t as hard to read as he would like to think. But maybe it was all of the years of knowing him.

“Just trying to figure you out, Mando.” You licked your lips, biting the inside of your mouth as you waited for his reply. It took too long.

“And what exactly do you think?”

“I’m thinking you’re distracted.”

“By what?” He replied, some entertainment in his voice. Maybe even a smirk behind that mask of his.

“I don’t know yet.” You hummed, tilting your head slightly. How the fuck you could even think about falling for the masked man was beyond comprehenion. Yet when he sat there, so secure and above all, you couldn’t help that blind attraction. How your heartbeat raised, for him.

Silence fell between the pair, staring for maker knows how long. The air was thick, heavy. Pressing into your skin.

“You distract me,” The Mandalorian stood up, looking down at you, almost looming above you. The meer foot between you felt like inches. “Think I can concentrate since I saw you?”

“You always see me,” You quipped, pressing your lips into a smug smile. Teasing a Mandalorian may have not been the best idea, but it certainly was fun.

“You..you know what I mean.” Ah, yes, he finally broke the contact that had grasped you so tight. Moving his eyes to the side, as if someone might come in through the pilot doors any minute. Suddenly, he was shy. The power back in your hands. You could be so mean as to use your body to force words back into him, but you’d wait for that.

“I dunno if I do, Mando.” You muttered, tilting your head to look at his helmet covered one. Before you could even debate if it would be a terrible idea, you reached out to his chin, Your skin meeting the cold metal, and pushing it to look back at you again. Another moment you had wished you could read his mind. “Inlighten me,”

He muttered a curse, just loud enough for you to catch. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute. Trying, desperately, to not be as turned on at the sight of you as he was.

“You’re much more beautiful than I could have ever imagined,” Lorian spoke, words falling from his lips like a prayer. Hands instinctively moving to your waist, settling there with a firm grip. “And I can’t stop thinking of how you’d look beneath me,”

Fuck, you really weren’t expecting that, at least so fast. A shaky breath fell from your parted lips. His eyes fell to them. Wishing so fucking badly that he could rip his helmet off and kiss you til the end of time.

“I like it when you get flustered.” his head sank down to your neck, words whispered so breathily, so close. It sent shivers down your spine.

You made the first bold move, pressing an open palm to his growing tent. A soft moan escaped Lorians lips at the contact. His hips rolled into your hand, begging for more. You smirked at this. Having some sort of power over the man. With that push, you undid the buttons of his fly slowly, taking your time with each one. Moving your other hand to his thigh, holding him in place.

Soon enough, your hand trailed hot into his boxers, pushing them down just enough to let his cock spring free, falling to your stomach. Mandos breath hitched, the cold air hitting him sharply.

“Can I go down on you?” You asked, voice low and soft. You could almost feel him getting harder with every word you muttered. You kept yourself from giggling with biting down on your bottom lip.

“Fuck, yes. Definitely-definitely-” Lorian was so needy, voice nearly trembling as you dipped down to your knees, cloth padding the hard metal below you.

“How long has it been since you last felt this?”

“Too long-” He replied honestly. It had been...years, probably. He had nearly forgotten the feeling. And he certainly thought it couldn’t have been this fucking fantastic.

“Then let’s make this good, huh?” You looked up at him, lips just inches from where he needed them. “Something to remember at night.”

A few stroked, with a gentle clutch, you pressed a kiss to the tip of his thick cock, then took him into your mouth with a slowness that sent him into pure ecstacy. Hollowing your cheeks as much as you could as you tried to take all of him in, though, that was proving difficult. You had maybe an inch left when you couldn't take it any further down your throat, gagging slightly when you pushed for an extra bit.

Lorians gloved hand gripped your hair, enough to cause a slight sting, but not forcing your head anywhere. He was doing his best to not cum right there, breath short and frantic as you started to move, fingers digging into his linen covered thigh, mourth wrapped around him so fucking perfectly. so tight, so pretty as he looked down at you.

“You’re-doing great, Beautiful-” the Mandalorian said between moans, fingers gripping your hair just a bit more as you quickened your pace. Stroking his painfully hard cock with your few fingers at a different speed than your wet mouth, it was kissing him.

And To see a Mandalorian crumble at your touch was satisfying to say the least. How his knees were about to buckle at any moment, hand falling to the control panel to keep himself upright, clutching that corner for dear life. It was new levels of hot.

And then you hummed, just to tease, looking up at how he may react. It certainly drew out a moan, stuttered and tense.

“Where-where do you want me to cum?” He managed to get out, strained and flustered, hips bucking into your mouth, wanting, needing more.

You simply hummed again, caressing his thigh, trying to get him to loosen up a bit, guiding him into orgasm. It didn’t take long after that,when his cum filled your throat, sweet and fucking delicious. Milking ever last drip from him before pulling away with a smile. Looking up at him as you wiped some from the corner on your lip, and sucking it off of your fingers.

You stayed there, for a quiet moment, taking in each others disheveled appearances, heavy breaths. But your hand still rested on his thigh.

“We’re not done yet-” He breathed, running a finger down your swollen lips. “not even close.”

______________________________________

TAGLIST: @tedpicklez @lustriix @maryan028

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doctorrookie · 3 years

Text

Something Else, Chapter 1

A/N: Second ever fic down, this time a cute little series featuring conjugal bliss. I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,391

Genre: Fluff 💕 but a little tainted with some 😏 (but just a little)

—

His hands roam my back as his lips hover above my left ear. His breath, hot and shallow, grace my earlobe, sending tingles down my spine.

“Ethan, no. We can’t.”

He pulled away and fell back into our bed. He looks at me with dark, lustful eyes, but I’m not about to fail now.

“As a doctor, you should know better that patients should follow pre-appointment instructions.” I sit up and move slightly away from him. “I booked this months ago, and this was the only available slot this month at my gyno.”

“But does it have to be two days after we get back from our honeymoon? We could barely keep our hands off each other on the return flight.” He holds my hand up to his lips, leaving a trail of scratchy, yet tender, kisses.

My mind brings me back to yesterday morning, where we had a little bit of naughty time under our airline blankets when the lights were dimmed. It was mind-blowingly incredible, plus the idea of being so close to getting caught was pretty exciting.

“It’s a routine check, baby. I’ve had it every July since I was 21. I can’t miss it.”

I hate myself so much right now. I could go for a quick one to prep myself for work after my checkup, but I know it’s not going to do me any good. I’m usually alright with breaking habits from time to time, but I take these important habits seriously. I pull my arm away from him before he could reach my neck. Once he got there, it’s going to break my resolve.

“Then come with me to the convention. Harper could spare losing one if it meant that we’d have more representation on the panels.”

The convention is in two days, and Ethan has to leave by noon tomorrow to leave for his flight. My appointment is at 11 am, so we won’t get to have any intimate time for a week because of the overlap, much to my dismay.

“I know, but at least one Ramsey has to stay in and hold down the fort, right?” I say, even though I only mean half of it.

He beams and pulls me in for a cuddle.

“By the way, have you thought of what you want to go by?”

I had thought of this. Before our wedding, I never really gave it much thought, and I thought maybe I should just continue to be Alexandria Lee, but ever since the day of our wedding, we’ve been Mr and Mrs Ramsey, and I’ve grown to love that.

Mrs Ramsey. It just rolls off the tongue in the most natural way. It’s weird being called missus, but a good kind of weird that you love and get used to. It’s the same feeling when you feel a band around your ring finger for the first time, or when your love places a second one on during the ring exchange. It feels strange, almost unnatural for the first minute, but it fades as quickly as it comes and you just grow to love it.

“I think I’ll hyphenate for professional purposes, but I definitely love the sound of Mrs Ramsey.” I lock eyes with him as a smile floats onto my face. It’s uncontrollable, really. His smile is more infectious than you’d think. Or maybe it’s just the newlywed glow.

“I love it too. And Dr Lee-Ramsey has a nice ring to it.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

He plants a gentle kiss on my forehead, his lips so soft and supple that I could feast on them for days. It’s really too bad we can’t feel each other tonight, or for another week for that matter. It’s not just the steamy things. I’ll miss waking up next to him, falling asleep in his arms, laughing together at dinner, and crying together at those Disney movies that he insists he dislikes, but secretly loves. I’ve grown accustomed to our routine and nuances for the past two years, and sometimes I just need some good forehead kisses to get me through my day. We haven’t been apart that often, and I think it would be best if we could spend even more time together after we’re married.

“I’ll miss you, baby. Can’t someone else go to the convention? Ines or Zaid?” I look at him hopefully.

He sighs as we sink back into bed. He pulls me in, and I collide against his chest. We’ve been pulled apart for too long by ethics and pressure, and it just feels like… we deserve a long, undisturbed time together before our next adventure. I’ve always thought of my life as a story, and marrying Ethan is my happily ever after, but it’s just the end of a very long chapter. Well, at least we’ve got the next one to look forward to. Reality is often disappointing, but it just makes the good moments shine brighter. We learn to be more appreciative, and I certainly appreciate E after our whirlwind romance.

“It’s only a week, and you’re welcome to join me any time. Miami’s just a flight away.”

It’s honestly so tempting, and Harper would understand. In fact, she was the one who convinced us to extend our honeymoon. Although, I know that once I get back to work, I’ll just be in work mode, and I’ll barely even miss him. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ll miss bumping into him at the hospital and giving each other knowing smiles. I’ll miss having lunch and dinner when we’re on shifts. I’ll miss messing around in his office or the supply closet just to sneak in a few kisses during the long workday. I’ll miss holding his hand as we walk to the parking garage. I’ll miss competing to see who Jenner decides to pounce on that day.

But I can’t. My patients matter to me too. I may have taken my vows just a month ago, but I took an oath years ago, and I can’t just ignore my patients for the pursuit of personal pleasure. The both of us had enjoyed ourselves on our honeymoon, but we were constantly checking for updates on their conditions. I need to get back on the ground and make up for the lost time. Catch up with them, make sure they’re as comfortable as they can get before we discharge them.

“What are you thinking about?” He lifts my chin up with his fingers.

“My patients. I miss them. I never got to see Mrs Tabitha get discharged.”

Mrs Tabitha is a sweet, old lady who was under my care for a month, and we really bonded. I would buy her a tea with just a touch of cream every morning, and she knitted me a scarf when I told her that we were going to Switzerland for our honeymoon. She got discharged on week 2 of our honeymoon and I was really happy for her because it meant that she’s recovered, but sad that I couldn’t give her a big thank-you hug before she left.

“I liked her too. It’s not every day you get wife advice from a retired matchmaker.”

“Wife advice?”

“More like Aly advice.” He smirks.

I can tell he’s keeping his lips zipped, and I think I’ll coax it out of him another day. Probably over some tiramisu. He was never the dessert type, but he loves chocolate and tiramisu. Oh, that reminds me: I have to remember to get ladyfinger cookies.

I shoot him a look before pushing myself up to give him a peck on the lips. His hands trailed down to my waist and supported me while we kept our lips locked. He licked my bottom lip, requesting entrance, and I know we might take it a step too far but damn, I’m weak. His tongue explored every crevice of my mouth, and I follow suit. His free hand crept under my shirt and I know that once he starts his gentle caressing, there’s no turning back.

“Let’s do something else, E. You’re way too dangerous.” I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from groaning. I really hate myself sometimes.

“What do you propose?” I could tell he’s unimpressed, slightly grumpy, and yearning for something sinful. He needs his dessert.

“Let’s make chocolate tiramisu.”

#ethan ramsey fanfiction #ethan ramsey #dr ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart #dr ethan ramsey #playchoices

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yungidreamer · 4 years

Text

Blackout Part 1

Summary: When a storm blows in just before finals it throws life into chaos with no power. But the trio’s home becomes a refuge in the storm. A place of warmth and happiness where everyone can gather to ride out the storm and enjoy some time together. Seonghwa and his love, Yeosang, find some special time together. A moment of respite in the storm.

Word count: 6.6k

Content warnings: fluff and smut, this time featuring Seonghwa and Yeosang, sex (m/m), a bathtub, the stress of finals and a blackout across town. Mostly happy bonding with friends and partners by candlelight.

‘Twas the weekend before finals when all through the city, not a building had power, it was a true pity. An ice storm had blown through late on Thursday coating everything with half an inch of ice bringing down power lines and tree branches. Classes were canceled on Friday and departments mailed out plans for finals, with professors encouraged to make finals something people could take at home if possible to leave halls that might need to be powered by generators for those that absolutely had to take tests on campus.

The dorm halls and residences were dark but at least heated, however, with no promise that power would be restored soon, people were eager to go home for the holidays as soon as possible. Students who were given the option for take home or online files were all making plans to head home early. Those who weren’t were forced to go to pick up meals from the one of the few functional cafeterias on campus. No one was happy with the situation.

In their little house near campus she, Mingi, and Yunho were happy to be in their cozy little home together. They were especially thankful for their fireplace and for the gas stove the place had come with, since it meant the interruption in power hadn’t given them nearly as much trouble as it was giving most of their friends. With the fridge and freezer down, they moved the frozen foods out to the backyard. The weather had remained around freezing since the storm and it would keep it as well as the freezer would have. The things that needed to be kept cool but not frozen, they kept in the little entry porch in a cooler that was just enough to keep things from freezing but was plenty cold. All in all, it was actually pretty nice, minus the fact that they couldn’t watch anything on TV and were only keeping only one phone on at a time. Their travel batteries had been real lifesavers actually.

On Friday evening they learned that Yunho’s chemistry class was keeping their scheduled practical final on Tuesday which he needed to stay for. Mingi’s math teacher, an old crotchety tenured professor, insisted on having an in person final for his 200 + person introduction course. He didn’t trust people not to cheat, nor did he trust the newfangled online tests some people in the department had started using. Luckily that was scheduled for Monday afternoon so it wouldn’t keep them there any longer than Yunho’s. She was lucky and had already been sent her four finals she had left for her classes and was hoping to have them done before they drove home for the long Christmas holiday.

At around 7 that Friday Yunho’s phone rang. It was a frazzled and stressed out Hong Joong wondering if he might be able to come and study with Yunho at their place. With no power he had been studying as much as he could during the daylight hours and making due with a hanging flashlight he had set up in the evening. He grumbled about not being able to make any of the food they had and being stuck with sandwiches for days with no way to cook in the house.

“We can cook here if you want to bring stuff to make some food here,” Yunho offered.

“You can cook?” Hong Joong perked up on the other end of the phone. “Do you have power?”

“No we just have a gas stove and oven,” Yunho explained.

“Wou...would you mind if I came to stay for a little while?” Hong Joong questioned hopefully. “I can bring food. I also have a solar charger we can share to charge phones and stuff. Also a radio I’ve been using to keep me sane.”

“Oh yeah sure, that would be fine,” Yunho agreed. As he finished speaking, he heard a shuffling, and then Hong Joong make an exclamation of objection.

“You can cook?” Came the tight voice of Seonghwa over the line.

“Ye...yes…” Yunho replied slowly.

“Can Yeo and I come study there?” Seonghwa sounded tense and close to begging. “I will cook food and I am good at it. Please. I miss warm food and I want to get out of this tiny dark room. I will do anything.”

“Sure,” Yunho laughed. “You guys can come, too. Maybe bring some candles or light as well as some food to make.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa’s voice was full of relief as he said it. “I have to call Yeo and tell him to meet me. We will bring whatever we can. Ugh, if only one of our dorms just had one of the functioning cafeterias, I could bear to stay there. I just wish we weren’t going to have to come back and forth.”

“Do you mind if they stay for the weekend?” Yunho covered the mic and whisper asked the other two. When they nodded he brought the phone back to his ear and offered, “You guys could stay the weekend. Just come and bring whatever you need to study and clothes for a couple of days.”

“Seriously?” Seonghwa said, unsure if he could trust what his ears had just heard. It was too good to be true.

“Yeah,” Yunho confirmed. “We have room and it will be good to have everyone together in one place for studying. It will be a big help if you cook and bring extra food, so...yeah, you guys are welcome.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa said gratefully before passing the phone back to Hong Joong.

“We can stay over?” Hong Joong asked, a note of extra hope entering his voice.

“Yeah, bring what you need,” Yunho confirmed. “Or at least what you can. We will make the best of this studying time and time to get the finals done before the holiday.”

“You guys are the best,” Hong Joong laughed. “Okay, we will see you soon.”

“So we’ll be having some guests it seems,” she said, setting her study material aside for the moment. “Guess that means I should clean up a little.”

“I’ll help,” Mingi offered, closing his math book for the moment.

“Me, too,” Yunho turned off the screen of his phone and set it on the coffee table. The boys redressed their beds to give the guests places to sleep while she cleaned up a little in the kitchen, doing the last of the dishes and checking what they had in their cabinets, thinking about what they might need. Yunho, when he was done making the bed, went out and grabbed more wood for the fireplace. It was starting to get dark and, while the furnace was keeping the house warm, the light and extra coziness it was giving the house was making the blackout much more pleasant.

They had decorated the house for Christmas after getting back from Thanksgiving with their families. They had bought a tree from one of the lots, strung it with colored lights, and bought a cacophony of colorful glass balls and bangles. It wasn’t the sort of tree that would have made it into one of those home life magazines but it was homey. Off on one side of the tree Yunho had eventually discovered a trio of special ornaments she had bought and tucked off to the side. They were little enamel picture frames, each with a photo of one of them, with Our First Christmas Together and the year written on the back. Yunho was in a bright blue oval shaped frame that had a sunburst sort of design under the enamel that caught the light when the tree was lit. Mingi was in a bright red square frame that had a sort of scaled or feathered sort of pattern that seemed to shimmer in the light. Hers was purple and round with little gems that dangled off the bottom. He wasn’t sure how long they had been there before he noticed, but he made sure to bring it to Mingi’s attention when he noticed it. They both loved it and wished they had thought of the gesture first, but of course she had done it. Silently they promised, next year they would surprise her, but this year they could both still get her something amazing for Christmas.

Mingi had gotten her an antique style pearl choker with a small square panel in front that had a starburst pattern in silver and crystals. He liked the idea of her wearing it, like a mark that she was his, even if everyone didn’t know it. He hadn’t given it to her. He was still deciding if he wanted to give it to her before they went home or save it for when they got back. There were still days to decide, so it stayed tucked far back in one of the drawers in his bedroom, waiting for the right time.

Yunho had bought her a hair comb from a local antique shop. He had gone expecting to get her something simple like earrings but had laid eyes on the ornate, two pronged, silver comb and knew it was what he needed to get her. She often twisted her hair up into easy buns on the back of her head, held there with one or two simple wooden hair sticks she used. This comb, with its gorgeous rococo style curved decorative plate would look perfect sitting in her hair. It was something she would use, which meant he would get to see his gift on her often; just a little something saying she was his.

They had gotten each other something as well. Yunho had bought Mingi a new, expensive pair of Bluetooth headphones he could use when he needed some isolation to keep his mind on studying. His last pair had started to wear out, the battery only lasting three or four hours these days. The new ones were better and would be more forgiving for his usual forgetfulness when it came to putting them on the charger when he was done.

Mingi had bought Yunho a new suit set including dress shirt, jacket, pants, tie, and pocket square. Yunho had noticed that he had outgrown his last set over Thanksgiving and knew that he needed to get something soon but had been putting it off due to school. Mingi had gotten him a steel grey suit with white button up and sky blue tie and pocket square. Honestly, he couldn’t wait to see him in that and really wanted to come up with some date, some occasion to see him in it. The color would go perfectly with his current blond locks he had gotten lightened even a shade brighter during his last visit to the hairdressers. That he was going to give Yunho before he went back home for the holidays, as there was a good chance he might have a reason to wear it then. As long as he brought it back home, since Mingi was dying to take him out in it with their girl.

Before long the house was really ready for guests and for more studying. She pulled out a few more candles and put them on the dining room table to light when people went there to eat or study, whatever might be needed. They had been concentrating the light in the living room, with a few candles around the room and a couple of wall sconces lit that she happened to have. They were remarkably good at lighting the room with their mirrored backs and high hanging light. She had bought them because she liked them, not knowing they would come to be genuinely useful and not just frivolous pretty things she just enjoyed having.

A little after eight, Hong Joong arrived at their door with a heavy bag in tow behind him, packed with school things, clothes, food, and other useful supplies he thought he could provide. He came into the house, grateful to be in the warmth again after battling icy sidewalks and freshly falling snow that was now coming down. It took him a moment after he took off his coat to take in the room he had entered. The whole place just oozed cozy warmth with its cheery decoration and surprising brightness given that he had been making due with a hanging flashlight.

“Wow,” was all he said when he looked up, taking it all in.

“Welcome to our home,” she greeted him with a hug, helping him take his things into the room. “Is there anything that needs to be kept cold in your stuff?”

“Oh yeah,” he shook his head, bringing himself back to the moment. “This stuff here is perishable.” He pulled out a bag with cheese, milk, meat, condiments, and a few other odds and ends he had that he and Hwa had decided he should take to be useful. “I also have this stuff that needs to be cooked but doesn’t need to be kept cold,” he said, passing a bigger bag to Mingi, who was standing nearby. “I think Hwa and Yeo are going to bring more but this is what I was tasked with bringing.”

“Thank you and make yourself at home,” She said, walking off to put the perishables in the makeshift fridge. “You can take one of the boys’ rooms. The beds have been made. You can leave your stuff in there and pick a place to study. We can do something about food when everyone gets here.”

“You guys are lifesavers,” Hong Joong said as he dragged his bag back towards the bedrooms.

It didn’t take long for Seonghwa and Yeosang to arrive at their front door, laden with food and other things they needed to study and make their place home for a short time. Seonghwa looked like he was ready to cry when he saw the cozy and welcoming interior of their house. After having faced the possibility of having the stress of studying in the dark with bad food, the relief was fresh and sharp.

“I am going to be in your debt for eternity,” he said, dropping his things near the door and drawing a slightly surprised Mingi into a tight hug.

“You’re welcome,” Mingi replied with an amused laugh and a gummy smile.

“This place is really nice,” Yeosang said, taking everything in with a slow scan of the room. “You even have a fireplace...wow.”

“You can put yourselves in the room that Hongjoong didn’t take,” Yunho instructed. “Is there food we need to deal with?”

“Yes but don’t worry about it,” Seonghwa picked up their other things and prepared to take things to the bedrooms. “Let me put things away and then I am going to deal with food. Where am I…” Yunho pointed down the hall and the two boys happily made their way back to take the unoccupied room. They re-emerged from down the hall with Seonghwa’s arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder and one of Yeosang’s slung loosely around his waist in return. Hong Joong appeared behind them, his arms laden with study material.

“Okay,” Seonghwa gave Yeosang a kiss on the side of his head before heading to get the food things he had left near the door. “Show me the kitchen.” Yunho gave an amused chuckle and led him through the wide doors that opened into the kitchen. Seonghwa looked like he was tempted to hug the stove when he laid eyes on it. He was almost in despair at the idea of not having ‘real’ food between now and finals. He instead settled for hugging Yunho again before he set about pulling everything out he had brought so that it could be organized and put away. Yeosang helped to gather the things to be put into the cold as Seonghwa decided what to cook for everyone.

“Is beef stew okay for everyone?” He asked after having taken stock of all the ingredients. Everyone gave affirmative answers and Seonghwa set to work preparing everything to go into the dinner. Yeosang wandered into the kitchen to help and she joined them shortly thereafter, making quick work of the chopping, peeling, and the searing. Soon, all that was left was the hour or so everything needed to simmer in the large pot.

With dinner sorted, everyone settled in around the living room with their books and notes to study. She settled in near the fireplace next to Yunho and Mingi, wrapping herself in a blanket as she pulled out the psych final she had decided to work on first. Yeosang and Seonghwa settled themselves on the smaller loveseat, Yeosang tucked in between his boyfriend’s spread legs as they both studied from large textbooks. Hong Joong stretched out on the couch, his head near the end where Yunho was seated near the fireplace, allowing him to poke at him occasionally as they both studied the material for their final.

By the time dinner was declared done by an ecstatically happy Seonghwa, everyone was ready to take a break from their studying. They served the stew in whatever dishes worked, not having quite enough bowls to go around. She and Hong Joong made do with a couple of large mugs, which were actually much easier to carry into the living room than the bowls. With the plentiful light and warm atmosphere, they decided it was the best place to eat.

“How many finals do you have?” Yeosang asked the room in general as he took a bite of the delicious stew.

“Three,” Mingi replied. “But only one has to be done on campus. The rest were changed to take home stuff given the circumstances.”

“I have four, but they are all take home,” she followed up. “I’m just hoping I can get them all done before we drive home for the holidays.”

“Oh that’s right,” Seonghwa waved his spoon in the direction of the trio. “You guys all came from the same place, didn’t you? Are your families all friends or something?”

“Sort of,” Yunho scrunched up his face a little as he rolled the explanation around in his mind. “They all know each other, but mostly because we know each other, not the other way around.”

“So then how did you all meet,” Yeosang asked as he leaned against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Mingi threw us all in the water at summer camp.” Yunho said with a wide grin, successfully eliciting the reaction he hoped from the other boy.

“Hey,” Mingi objected, putting one hand on his hip as he spoke. “I did not...okay I sort of did. But it wasn’t like it sounds.”

“He got better with the canoes,” she noted with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Especially when there wasn’t the threat of ducks.”

“Come on,” Mingi pursed his lips and grumped at the two of them.

“Imagine if you hadn’t,” Yunho reached out to him, stroking his cheek softly. “Our girl might be with San and...well...we would probably be alone or something. Oof, not a pleasant thought really.”

“I guess we really owe those ducks,” she joked, falling into peels of laughter at the thought. Beside her Mingi huffed, pulling her into his lap for a kiss that ate her laughter. Yunho scooted over, wrapping his arms around both of them with the warmest expression on his face.

“I think you had to be there,” Yeosang faux whispered to his boyfriend, causing him to give a snort of laughter and slap his shoulder playfully.

“I am so single…” Hong Joong sighed, his eyes looking between the two couples who were there in front of him. He tucked into his soup with a shake of his head, glad to be there but also wishing he had someone to bring with him, like his roommate did. Seonghwa glowed when he was around Yeosang, or Sangie, as he often called him, getting groans and eyerolls from those near enough to hear it. He and Hwa had met in a dance class together last year and the two had been nearly inseparable since then.

They finished the stew and Hong Joong, Yunho and Mingi volunteered for dish duty since they hadn’t helped with cooking. Even though it was nearing 11 at that point, most of them wanted to press on with studying.

“Hey love, can you bring in the big bottle of cider?” Yunho asked Mingi as they finished the dishes. Mingi nodded and headed to the porch to bring in the gallon bottle of cider they had bought a few days ago. While Mingi retrieved that, Yunho scoured the cabinets to find the packet of mulling spices they had somewhere.

“Here you go,” Mingi set the heavy glass bottle on the counter, pressing a quick kiss to the side of Yunho’s neck, causing the other boy to blush and giggle. “What are you making?”

“I thought some cider would be good as a sort of desert,” Yunho shrugged.

“Mmmm, good idea,” Mingi moved to hug him from behind, tucking his head in on Yunho’s shoulder as he watched him work. “Warm and cozy.”

“It’s kind of fun having everyone here,” Yunho noted as he lit the burner under the pan. “Don’t you think?”

“Mmm,” Mingi agreed. “It’s more fun than just studying alone would have been. And Seonghwa can cook; that stew was delicious.”

“Maybe we can have them over more often,” Yunho suggested, swaying in the arms of the other boy.

“Sometimes,” Mingi agreed. “I still want time just with the two of you.”

“Of course,” Yunho turned his head and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Time with you is the best part of my day.”

“Yeah?” Mingi asked shyly, flashing him a gummy grin. Yunho made a mhmm sound and moved to put his arms around his shoulders and took his lips in a slow, lazy kiss.

“Awww, am I missing all the fun?” She teased as she joined them in the kitchen, having come to see what had been keeping them since the dishes were done.

“Yes,” Mingi teased, looking at her over his shoulder, not letting go of the man in his arms.

“Poor me,” she pretended to pout. “Good thing I came to check, I suppose.”

“Come here,” Yunho beckoned, pulling slightly out of Mingi’s arms, enough to lift her onto the counter next to them. Mingi took her lips and Yunho nibbled down along the side of her neck below her ear. She gave a moaning giggle into Mingi’s mouth, shivering at the tickling sensation being sent through her.

The hiss of the cider starting to simmer in the pan brought them apart. They portioned the cider into mugs and took them out to the others in the living room. Hong Joong took his mug in his hands, clasping it joyfully and breathing in the fallish scent with a contented grin.

“I forgot how good this stuff could be,” he sighed. “I swear I haven’t had this in years and I don’t know why.”

“Mmmm,” Seonghwa hummed happily in agreement. “I am loving this all but I am starting to get tired. I think I am going to have to shower and get ready for bed after this. I am pretty sure that the words are just passing through my brain and leaving no mark at this point.”

“Well we have showers and hot water,” she offered. “We even have a nice bathtub if you want to use it.”

“Oh man, it has been so long since I had a bath,” Seonghwa sighed.

“You and Yeo could, uh, share it,” Yunho suggested. “It’s big enough for two if you want to relax a little before you head to sleep.”

“Really?” Seonghwa sat up straighter and sent a look to his boyfriend. It had been a while since they had a place to relax together that wasn’t one of their dorm rooms when their roommates happened to be out.

“If Mingi and I can fit in it, you two should be just fine.” Yunho chucked. “I’ll show you where it is.”

Seonghwa hopped up, taking Yeosang by the hand, and followed Yunho down the hall. They made their way through the shared bedroom to the master bathroom, candles in hand. Yunho pulled out a couple of towels for them and showed them where they kept the bath bombs and scented oils they used in the bath. They thanked him for the help and for the accommodations and let him go on his way. Seonghwa started the bath while Yeosang got their toothbrushes and pajamas from their room for them to change into when they were clean and ready to go to sleep.

The candle light danced off the pale tiles and glinted off the chrome fixtures. The room was warm and cozy as snow fell outside the small distorted window high up on one wall. The sill had a growing line of snow that was building on it as it continued to fall, deafening the world around them.

Seonghwa stripped his clothes off and slipped into the warm water he had scented with rose. The steam rose from the surface of the water, wafting the scent into the air with it. He shut off the water just before Yeosang returned, clothes and toiletries tucked under his arm.

“Getting started without me,” he tsked, setting them down on the counter by the sink.

“Just making sure it is perfect,” Seonghwa retorted, sending him a tempting smile. He slid himself under the water, dampening his hair and face in the warm water. He stretched out his hand to his boyfriend, inviting him in with a hungry look through his damp eyelashes. “Come in, the water is fine.”

Yeosang smiled down at him as his hands went to the hem of his shirt, slowly lifting it off over his head. Seonghwa bit his lip as he looked at the smooth stretch of skin he exposed in the flickering light of the room. He could never get enough of him. His slim, muscular body, the soft ripple of his abs that ended in the softest wisp of a happy trail.

Yeosang loved the feel of Hwa’s eyes on him as he undressed. The way he looked at him made him feel like the sexist thing on the planet. There was always a fire in them; an unsated thirst. He loved it, so he took his time as he slowly unfastened the button on his jeans and slid the zipper down. His eyes watched the flash of emotions that crossed Seonghwa’s face as he languidly slid his pants and underwear past his hips and thighs before letting them drop and stepping out of them.

He walked over to the tub and slid into the water, sitting himself on Seonghwa’s waiting lap, looping his arms around his boyfriend's broad shoulders. The water lapped lightly around their chests, filling the near silence of the room. Yeosang let his gaze meet Seonghwa’s with an unbroken intensity, not needing words to tell him how much he wanted him.

Seonghwa leaned forward letting his hands reach up from behind to hold Yeosang’s shoulders as he pressed a kiss to his chest. His lips brushed along the soft skin, feeling their way over the lean muscles of his pecs and up to his collarbone.

“It’s been too long,” Seonghwa whispered against him as Yeosang let his head fall back, allowing his lover more access.

“It’s only been a week,” Yeosang gave a breathy chuckle as he felt the other boy’s lips follow the line of his pulse up the side of his neck.

“That doesn’t count,” Seonghwa protested, one hand traveling up to tangle in the soft blond locks of Yeosang’s hair.

“Oh?” He asked breathlessly.

“Sneaking something in during the twenty minutes it takes for Hongjoong to go get something to eat from downstairs definitely doesn’t count,” Seonghwa clarified sternly, before nipping the soft skin just below Yeosang’s ear.

“I thought you liked the thrill of maybe getting caught,” Yeosang teased. “The possibility of someone seeing you fall apart with just my hand down your pants.”

“Maybe a little,” Seonghwa admitted, his lips quirking into a half smile. “But how could I have said no with all that teasing you were doing all day. Sitting in my lap and grinding your wonderful little ass on me every time you knew someone wouldn’t catch you. Ugh, tease.”

“Like you were any better,” Yeosang pointed out, his hands moving to splay over Seonghwa’s chest. “Slipping your hand in my pocket. You knew that hole was there before you did it, too.”

“That will teach you to put off fixing holes in your clothes,” Seonghwa laughed before bringing Yeosangs lips down to his. Their kiss began as a slow, sensual exploration of their mouths that slowly became more heated as Yeosang pressed Hwa’s head back. He raised himself slightly onto his knees until he loomed over him, leaving Seonghwa breathless and at his mercy.

Yeosang pulled back from the kiss and looked down at the wanton face of his boyfriend. He loved seeing him like this. His assertion that what they had gotten in last week ‘didn’t count’ was pretty fair he decided. A quick shared handjob they could sneak in with the risk of getting caught might be fun, but he loved to see the pleasure dazed face he could bring to him even before he really touched him. He loved taking his time with him, tasting the saltiness of his skin and the sweet flavor of his lips.

“Can I make love to you tonight?” Yeosang asked, kissing his way across Seonghwa’s beautifully high cheekbones.

“Make love to me now,” Seonghwa urged.

“Here?” Yeosang gave a low chuckle. “In someone else’s bathroom?”

“Turnabout is fair play,” He snorted, thinking of the first time he had met those three.

“Mmmm, true,” Yeo admitted, letting one hand sink down to brush the pad of his thumb over the tip of Hwa’s growing erection. “Switch places with me?”

“Sure,” Seonghwa nodded and twisted himself to allow Yeo to sit with his back against the edge of the tub and move him into his lap. Hwa felt his boyfriend’s erection brush against his inner thigh as they switched places, sending a shiver through him. He loved when Yeo was inside him as much as he loved the times the roles were reversed. When he was in his lap, he could look down at that beautifully sculpted face with it’s perfectly symmetrical features. He would never get tired of those warm eyes looking up at him.

Hwa brought his face down to Yeo as he felt the other boy's hands slowly make their way down along his back to the curve of his ass. His fingers brushed over the muscles there, enjoying their softness as he gave them a quick squeeze. With excruciating slowness, he moved the tip on one finger to brush over the pucker of muscle nestled between the soft cheeks.

Hwa let out a sigh and ground himself forward at the sensation of the tentative touch. He knew it wasn’t reluctance that slowed the touch of his lover, but the enjoyment he got from drawing out the moment; from the pleasure he caused with his teasing. When they had the time, there was nothing Yeosang loved more than bringing Hwa near to tears with his teasing before he would take him; waiting for that moment of desperation at his teasing before he would do as he asked. Seeing the hunger and desire twist his features into a mask of craving always gave Yeosang that pang of power and pleasure.

“Tell me how much you want me,” Yeo prompted, massaging Hwa’s entrance as he did.

“I need you in me tonight,” Hwa obliged, letting his desire be on full display as he spoke. “I need this moment this week. It’s been so hard and I just want a moment that is just you and just me.”

“I wish I could always take you into my arms like this,” Yeosang admitted as Hwa leaned in to brush his lips over his forehead. “I want to hold you as we go to sleep every night.”

“If only one of us didn’t have a roommate,” Hwa lamented with a sigh. Much as he loved Hong Joong as a friend, lately he had been wanting more space. He wanted privacy and the freedom to do what he wanted, when he wanted.

“Maybe next year we can get our own place, like this one,” Yeosang proposed as he finally pushed one finger inside.

“You want to live with me?” Hwa gave a shuddering sigh and let his head fall slightly back at the sensation.

“Yeah, I want to be with you more,” Yeosang conceded. “I’d love to be with you every night and make love to you in the morning.”

“That sounds like heaven,” Hwa smiled and pressed his lips to Yeosangs.

“Is that a yes,” Yeo questioned, broadening the circles he was making as he worked Hwa’s body open for his entry.

“Yes,” Seonghwa nodded, cupping Yeosangs cheeks in his wet hands and kissing him more deeply. Their tongues battled slowly as Yeosang worked another finger in, then scissored gently to make sure his lover's body was ready for him.

When Hwa whined with need, Yeosang finally sunk down slightly more in the water and positioned himself to enter Hwa. He let the other boy work himself down his length, going as fast or as slow as he wanted as he took him in. When he was finally all the way down, Hwa let out a breath he had been holding, relishing the sensation of Yeo so deep inside him.

“Fuck, you always feel so good around me,” Yeosang groaned, his hands coming to grip the other boy’s narrow hips.

“I love the way you fill me,” Hwa returned, gripping the sides of the tub for leverage as he prepared to move. He threw his head back and arched as he slowly began to move himself up and down. Yeosang could only admire the smooth, broad expanse of his lover's chest as he moved. In the candlelight he looked divine, droplets of water sparkling over his skin as they dripped down its smoothness.

“Have I told you today that you are beautiful?” Yeo breathed quietly.

“Next to you, I hardly compare,” Seonghwa leaned in to press his forehead to the other boys, slightly increasing his speed as he moved himself up and down his length. Yeosang’s hand went to encircle the turgid length of Hwa’s erection wanting to bring him as much pleasure as he could.

Hwa’s movements stuttered at the increased sensation, he shuddered and let out a little moan. “Do you think you’ll last longer than me if you do that,” He challenged, his eyes locking on Yeo’s hungrily as he continued to move.

“Yeah I think you’ll come first,” Yeo set his chin with an angle of defiance as he looked up a Hwa with hooded eyes.

“I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we,” Hwa breathed, moving faster and taking him as deeply as he could. The room was filled with the sound of their breathing and the sloshing of the water around them. It was a battle of wills between them and there would be no losers. They both threw themselves into the sensations of pleasure, both the giving and the taking. For the moment there was no one else, nothing else. They were the pleasure and the tension itself.

“I think you’re going to win,” Hwa shuddered, his knuckles going white with the strength of his grip on the curved edges of the tub.

“Then cum for me,” Yeosang demanded with a soft confidence as he expertly moved his hand over Hwa in the way he knew he loved. He watched Hwa’s face with rapt attention as his face and body contorted with the almost painful rise of pleasure he was riding. When his orgasm hit, he paused in his movements, half collapsing forward as his arms and legs quivered from pleasure and exertion. He let out a broken moan, his head lolling forward as he lost himself in the sensation and burst of peaceful satisfaction that filled him up as it passed.

“Can I…” Yeosang asked for permission to move. Seonghwa nodded and braced himself as he tried to catch his breath. Yeo gripped his hips harder and thrust himself up into Hwa as his muscles fluttered around him. He was close and it had been a near race to their finish. It only took a few minutes of his enthusiastic thrusts for him to find his own pleasure, emptying himself into Hwa’s body, loving the way it held him in its warm depths as waves of pleasure rode him.

Seonghwa pressed his lips to the corner of Yeosang’s mouth as he panted, lying limp in the bath beneath him. He looked so beautiful, damp and exhausted by pleasure.

“We definitely need a place with a bathtub.” Seonghwa said as he held Yeo’s face between his hands, his thumbs stroking his cheekbones, leaving droplets of water in their wake.

“Liked this that much, did you,” Yeosang let out a tired scoff and cracked one eye open.

“If I had known you looked this good wet,” Seonghwa joked. “I would have gotten you into a shower or tub months ago.”

“See, you promise that now,” Yeosang gave a dramatic sigh, mischief sparkling in his eyes. “But watch us move in together and have you get bored of me since you can have me anytime you want.”

“Please,” Seonghwa scoffed, and smacked Yeosang’s chest lightly. “As if I would be so fickle.”

“Promise?” Yeosang smiled up at him, pushing a lock of hair off the other boy’s forehead.

“Cross my heart,” he captured the hand as it was pulling away and pressed a kiss to the palm.

They stayed sitting in the cooling water for another couple of moments before Hwa felt strong enough, in both body and spirit, to lift himself off of Yeosang. They both shivered as they finally separated, Hwa giving an unsteady giggle at the sensation. He was able to get himself out of the water, pulling one of the towels off the rack and wrapping it around himself. Yeosang followed, taking the other towel before he pulled the plug on the drain, allowing the water to slowly be siphoned away.

“I think we were a little vigorous,” Seonghwa laughed, feeling the slight puddle on the tiles under their feet.

“Too much water,” Yeosang agreed, dropping the towel he had used on the floor to soak up the water now that he was mostly dry. Seonghwa pulled his pajamas on and hung up his towel to dry and Yeosang did the same when he was satisfied with his sopping up of their little puddle. They brushed their teeth and gathered their dirty clothes under their arms, ready to go to sleep.

They made their way out to the living room, after dropping their things in the room on the way, and bid everyone good night after getting glasses of water from the kitchen. Sex could be very thirsty work. Hand in hand, they padded back down the hall to the room they would occupy during their stay. Crawling in under the covers, Seonghwa curled around the body of the other boy, happily tucking himself along Yeosang from the back.

“Whose room is this, anyway?” Yeosang asked as he laced his fingers with Seonghwa’s where they held him around the waist.

“Mingi’s I think,” Seonghwa replied.

“How many nights do you think he has actually spent in here,” humor danced in Yeosang’s voice as he asked the question.

“Not many,” Seonghwa admitted with a laugh.

“Lucky guy, isn’t he?” Yeosang observed as he closed his eyes with a yawn.

“Not as lucky as me,” Seonghwa muttered as he buried his nose in Yeosang’s neck. Sleep claimed them quickly as the rest of the house also moved to settle in for the night. Outside snow continued to fall, but inside the house was warm and cozy with each room filled with love and contentment.

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