#I really tried to find a way for this not to go down the angst-and-breakup route but uh...that didn't work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gyu-effect · 4 months

Text

i’ll marry you with paper rings || k.mg

“AND I’LL MARRY YOU EVEN WITH PAPER RINGS”

PAIRING || Mingyu x Female Reader

GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Love Triangle (not exactly), Marriage Pact AU, Humour

SUMMARY || When the two of you were little, you and Mingyu had made a marriage pact, agreeing to marry each other if both of you remained single till thirty. Of course, it was just a joke between the two of you and you both went about in your own ways, the silly promise pretty much forgotten. You soon had a huge list of ex-boyfriends and it became a routine for Mingyu to be your human tissue after each breakup. It was a tiresome job, taking care of you, but if the said best friend in love with you didn’t do it, who would?

Or, in which, even twenty years later, Kim Mingyu finds himself running to your every beck and call, despite telling himself he won’t fall for you anymore.

WARNINGS || minors dni, swearing lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, wonwoo is an ass (sometimes), mingyu’s friend circle bullies him because what even is new, reader has a obsessive ex, down bad gyu (and yes this is a warning), switch!mingyu, switch!reader, soft sex its more of making love so there aren’t really any dynamics, unprotected sex (do not do this), pet names for both (love, baby, angel, princess, sir), riding, sofa sex. [let me know if i missed anything pls]

WORD COUNT || 28.3k (what happened here-)

A/N || OMG ITS FINALLY HERE. AFTER 8 MONTHS OF TURMOIL, 8 MONTHS OF HATING IT AND LOVING IT, HAVING A WRITERS BLOCK AND CRYING OVER IT ITS FINALLY HERE. This was a huuuuge journey to write this and I hope you guys enjoy it because this fic is truly my baby that I raised. Special thanks to @wonumatics for helping me with the fic (and also making a cameo) and @thepoopdokyeomtouched .

TAGLIST || @alyssng @shiningstar-byulxx @ashkuuuu @venusprada @macaronihaha @jyiiscool @sanniekook @obaebarbs @springdaybreaks @just-here-to-read-01 @hoshipills @jhornytrash @jeonnyread @zgzgzh @neuviloved @hoeforcheol @sahazzy @lightprincess-world @watermelon-sugars-things @idubutily @meowmeowminnie @raindroponme-onme @nishloves @cosmic-w0lf @gyulfriend @youre-on-your-ownkid @neocarat17 @bias-recs @bmkgemz @fragmentof-indifference @peachytokki @hanicore @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @toshijimafarms @hyneyedfiz @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @sea-moon-star @jjeongddol @k-drama-adict @mnstxmnbb [if you want to be added to my taglist please fill in this form!]

𝐎𝐍𝐄. 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒

“Mingoo.”

The boy ignored your words as he continued with his drawing, hoping you would stop calling him and get back to your own work. The two of you had been drawing and colouring since morning so it wasn’t really surprising to him that you were already bored, but his art teacher had claimed that he wouldn’t be able to draw well since he was left-handed and he was determined to prove her wrong.

“Mingoo. Mingoo! Look at me!”

‘Mingoo’ looked exasperatedly at you, clearly unamused by your antics. You had placed the entire colour pencil box on your head, balancing it as you tried climbing up the arms of the sofa where the two of you were seated. No sooner had you lifted a leg, your whole body shook and the pencil box came crashing down, spilling its content everywhere.

“Hey!”

You had begun to laugh but immediately stopped when you saw how upset he was. Sitting down beside him, you gave him a sad pout as you gently patted his back.

“What’s wrong, Mingoo?”

“I told you not to call me that! Just call me Mingyu!” He huffed, going back to his drawing.

You rolled your eyes but you were sure he didn’t even notice it, considering how immersed he was in his drawing. “Fine, Mingyu. Just so you know, Mingoo is much cuter! What’s bothering you?”

Mingyu didn’t respond right away, which just confirmed your suspicions that he was very, very upset. And when he did look at you finally, his lower lip was quivering as though he was on the verge of tears.

“My- my art teacher told me I can’t draw!” The very first tear drop fell as he sniffled, trying very hard to control his tears. You looked at him confused, not sure what he was talking about since Mingyu was clearly the best artist you had seen in your life (however short it was).

“What are you talking about? Why can’t you draw? You draw amazing.”

“She said since I’m a leftie I can’t draw!”

“That’s because she is just jealous that a six year old draws better than her. I think you are the best artist I’ve ever seen.”

“You haven’t even- you haven’t even seen that many artists.” Mingyu mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he felt the sadness in his heart reduce a little. You rolled your eyes once more (he had come to notice that you seemed to really love rolling your eyes at him) before poking his cheeks once.

“Don’t need to. I just know you are the best.”

“Really?”

“Mingoo.” This time he groaned at the nickname. “I think you are the best at everything. You are the best person I’ve ever met.”

“You are just six. You couldn’t have met that many people, could you?”

“You are underestimating my social skills. But the point is, according to me, you are the bestest person I know, and that’s why you are my best friend.”

He snorted. “It sounds like you are convincing me to get married to you.”

You gasped at that, and for a second Mingyu was worried he had said something scandalous (it didn’t feel right to him that you would be troubled by this when you used the word ‘idiot’ many times, which was a pretty bad word according to his mom).

“That’s it!” You clapped your hand in excitement and something told Mingyu you were going to suggest the most scandalous thing he had ever heard from you. “Let’s get married!”

“Like…now?”

“No, you idiot!” He winced as you slapped his arm lightly, though he wasn’t sure if it was because you hit him or because you had sworn again. Maybe it was time to tell your mom that you were always using bad words. “We can’t get married now, so if we are still single till thirty, let’s get married then!”

“W-why, though?” He asked, rubbing his arms gently. Not that he was opposed to this idea. Mingyu thought you were a great friend, you were his best friend after all, and to be honest, in his eyes you were pretty enough (he didn’t have much girl friends unfortunately). But he wasn’t sure why you had suggested this idea suddenly.

You just shrugged. “No reason. It’s just that I’ve seen many movies where the best friends get married because no one wants to marry them.”

“They sound desperate to me.”

“So will you be, if you don’t get a girlfriend by thirty.” You snickered and that got Mingyu actually wondering. Would he actually never get a girlfriend? Now that he thought about it more, he realised that maybe your plan wasn’t that bad.

“Sure then. Let’s get married if we are still single by thirty.”

You raised your pinky finger to him and he immediately entwined it with his, both of your thumbs brushing against each other as you smiled at him, causing him to mirror your grin.

“Pinky promise that we’ll get married if we are still single when we reach thirty?”

“Promise.” He whispered.

“Oh, by the way, Mingyu?”

“Hmmm?”

“You are going to be the world’s greatest artist.”

Mingyu rotated the pen in his hand as he absentmindedly stared outside the window. He could faintly hear the teacher teaching something about the different divisions in the animal kingdom but he had no interest in it whatsoever (after learning about the different excretory systems of insects, he had lost interest in biology all together). Through his seat, he could see the school ground and being on the lower floor didn’t help the fact he could recognise all the students who were playing out right now, making him wish he was there instead of his current location inside the sweltering, hot classroom.

No one had warned him that middle school would be this boring but after being put in different sections, his school life seemed to have considerably dulled without you. Seventh grade wasn’t supposed to be this lifeless, was it?

He could see your little running form going in circles around the field and he automatically felt a smile tug at his lips. You looked so funny, with that annoyed expression on your face as you struggled to complete your laps. Mingyu dearly wished he had his camera with him, just to click a picture of you in this haggard form and pin it up in his bedroom wall just to tease you.

Just as he was thinking of the million different ways he could embarrass you, he heard his name being called sharply, snapping him out of his train of thoughts.

“Kim Mingyu!”

He jerked up straight to see his biology teacher glaring daggers at him, hand clutching the duster as though he was ready to throw it on Mingyu the second he answered the question wrong.

“Er,” he stood up awkwardly, eyes darting to the board to search for anything, just anything related to the question, anything that would give him enough hint as to where they were.

Suddenly his eyes landed on Boo Seungkwan who was sitting on the first bench, the extremely talkative boy Mingyu had recently befriended, and to his relief, Seungkwan mouthed him the question.

What are the four divisions of phylum arthropoda?

“Uh right, um, arthropoda is divided into arachnida, myriapoda, insectae and crustaceans.”

The teacher looked slightly annoyed that he had got it right but nonetheless motioned Mingyu to sit down. Letting out a silent sigh, he sat down and looked out of the window, searching for you. His eyes immediately landed on your figure as you and your friends stood in circles for dodgeball, causing him to smile once again knowing you were horrible at the game.

It was funny to him how easily he always noticed you even amongst a huge sea of students. He was always the first one to catch your eyes at the morning assembly and he could always spot you in the canteen during lunch despite the huge strength of students. It was like you stood out the most amongst everyone, and yet at the same time, there wasn’t really anything that special about you.

Thank god he remembered this chapter though he had studied this almost five days ago. Mingyu had finally come to believe that he had, what you called, a ‘sexy brain’. It kind of embarrassed him how much you always threw that compliment around him whenever the two of you were studying, but for some reason he didn’t stop you.

He just liked it a lot when you complimented him.

The bell finally rang after what felt like hours, indicating that it was the lunch break. Mingyu turned towards the window to see you disappearing into the school building one last time, before he began packing his books into his bag.

“Dude, why do you stare out of the window so much?”

He looked up to see Seokmin leaning on his desk, his usual gentle smile on his face as he waited for him to answer. Mingyu could see the curiosity behind his eyes so he just shook his head.

“No reason. It’s just better than studying bio, to be honest.”

“Oh, yeah?” He asked, peeping out of the window too. Seungkwan came and joined the two of them, having overheard the conversation. “Are you sure it isn’t to just check out the section A girls?”

For some reason, Mingyu felt heat creep into his cheeks as he glared at the smiling boy opposite to him, who was already laughing in a good natured way.

“Then what?” Seungkwan snorted. “His best friend is in that class.”

“Oh? What’s her name? Then you must be mad that the two of you got separated last year, right?”

“It’s Y/N. Of course I’m mad.” He huffed, frowning at the very memory. His school had suddenly decided that from middle school girls and boys would be in completely different sections. He remembered whining about this to you because what was the point of studying in a co-ed school if he was separated from his best friend for silly reasons to which you had gently reminded him that you would be meeting at the canteen nonetheless. “Won’t you be angry if Joshua got put in a separate class, Seokmin?”

Seokmin laughed once more. “Of course I would. But you look like you are ready to set the school on fire for this.”

“You see,” Seungkwan spoke and Mingyu could already tell he was trying to add fuel to the fire from his expression. “They both are really close. So of course Mingyu was pissed.”

To this, Seokmin widened his eyes at Mingyu dramatically, clearly intrigued by this new piece of gossip. “Oh? Is that so?”

“It’s not what you both are thinking.” Mingyu said firmly, finally zipping his bag shut. But one look at Seungkwan and Seokmin’s mischievous smirk was enough to tell him that he had dug his own grave.

“And what are we thinking, Mingyu?”

“You think I have a crush on her.” He said, his nostrils flaring. Mingyu could feel his ears turning red from the embarrassment but he wasn’t really sure why. What was so embarrassing about explaining his relationship with you, his best friend, to his friends? “Or that we might like each other. But we don’t. Not like that.”

“Uh huh whatever you say, lover boy.” Seungkwan giggled before beckoning them to get out of the classroom. Mingyu rolled his eyes as he followed his friends out but it did nothing to stop his ears from burning up. Why was he so flustered?

The canteen was as usual crowded and the three of them lined up with their trays to get their food, when he felt his elbows hit someone else.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Mingyu began, sure that his clumsiness had gotten him into trouble once again. But luckily, he was met by your annoyed expression (he never knew he could feel so much relief upon seeing you annoyed) as you rubbed your ribs gingerly.

“Watch where you’re going, boy. You could easily have taken off my head with that elbow of yours.”

Mingyu snorted at your words, secretly glad that he was finally able to catch up with you in the canteen. “I bet I could. After all, who gets tired after running three laps?”

“You were watching me?” You hissed, pretending to lift your tray to hit him. He laughed at you and felt his smile grow as you too smiled back at him.

“He was watching you the entire time.” Seungkwan said. Mingyu glared at the two of them but that didn’t stop Seokmin either.

“Yeah, nearly got into trouble too, because of that. Thank god you knew the answer or else Park would have had your head for lunch today.”

“You weren’t listening to Park? You must have a death wish, Gyu.”

All of a sudden Mingyu felt his stomach flip, causing him to stumble a little, his plate (now filled with food) nearly falling off his hand if it wasn’t for Seungkwan catching it with a hiss.

“What’s wrong with you?” He hissed, carefully pulling Mingyu away from the crowd. The four of them looked at him concerned and he realised he must have looked shell shocked or something, seeing that they weren’t scolding him for his clumsy habits like usual.

To be honest, he felt shell shocked too. What was that? What was that sudden feeling that nearly threw him off his balance? When you had called him Gyu (Mingoo had evolved to Gyu because even you finally agreed; it was cringe), he had felt his stomach drop like he had been dropped from a great height. You had called him Gyu countless times before, and none of them had ever had such a dangerous effect on him before.

“Mingyu?” He heard your soft voice call him, and when you placed a gentle hand on his arm he turned to look at you. You were looking at him worriedly, and for some reason that made him feel even more light headed.

He felt the familiar heat rise up his cheeks and he immediately turned away, not wanting to look at you anymore.

“I- I think I need to go to the nurse’s room. I think I’m a bit dehydrated.” he said, deciding that he must have been feeling unwell. What else could be the reason for this sudden feeling? It was very hot after all and they did have an hour of physical education before biology. Maybe he hadn’t drunk enough water?

“Oh, okay. Let me come with you-” You began but he cut you off with a smile

“No, I’ll go alone.”

You looked taken aback for a second, but smiled back almost immediately, giving his arm a gentle pat. “Are you sure? What if you faint on the way?”

“No, I’m not that unwell yet. It’s okay, you guys have lunch. I’ll catch up with you later.” Nodding at Seungkwan and Seokmin, he quickly ran out of the cafeteria, hoping no one was using the ice bag from the nurse’s room.

Now that he was finally away from the suffocating heat and loud buzz of the cafeteria, he wondered why he had refused you to take him to the medical room.

“Crap. How many days left for cram school to start?” You asked, stuffing another handful of popcorn into your mouth. Your best friend looked at you in annoyance for asking the most useless question in between the movie, but nonetheless picked up his phone to check the date.

“Two days. It starts this Saturday.”

“Fuck, we’ve really got to make the most out of it Mingyu.”

“I know. But you repeating it after every few minutes isn’t really making it better or making the day go slower. If anything, I can already feel the anxiety seeping in.”

He heard you snort and mumble something about having it easy because of his sexy brain, and he felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. The two of you were finally in high school, but there was nothing to rejoice about it by the number of extra classes you would have to attend. So here you were, idling away the two week summer vacation you had got, enjoying the ‘last glories of our youth’ as you had called it.

Even though Mingyu knew the next four years were going to be a huge study overload (he could actually feel the anxiety seeping in now), he had never felt so relaxed in his entire life like he had in these two weeks.

The two of you had gone to amusement parks, done movie marathons and had even gone to the beach for a few days with both of your families. Even though he knew spending time with you was supposed to be memorable, he couldn’t help thinking that this time it had felt extra special.

He still couldn’t forget that warm feeling that had enveloped his chest when you had won one of the amusement park games and hugged him out of excitement, or the time when the two of you kept pushing each other at the sea until a huge wave crashed into the two of you, causing you to hold onto Mingyu as you both let out shrieks of laughter.

All of a sudden he realised that he had been getting this feeling of warmth whenever he was around you quite often off lately. Not to mention that one time his stomach dropped when you winked at him back at your fourteenth birthday.

Well, in his defence you looked gorgeous. Like in a way he hadn’t expected you to. Of course he knew you were pretty. Kim Mingyu wasn’t blind to all those love letters and chocolate boxes you got every Valentine's day. But he really hadn’t expected you to look so beautiful in that dress. Nor had he expected his heart to stutter like that when you showed him the dress, twirling in it.

Maybe it was because of the heat inside your bedroom due to all the closed windows and door or maybe it was because he was remembering those confusing emotions, but as Mingyu turned to look at you, he felt his heart stutter once more.

Your hands had a dusty orange on them from all those cheetos you had been munching on from earlier this evening, and your mouth was in an even worse condition. And yet, he felt warmth flood his chest when he realised he didn’t really care for your appearance. It didn’t really matter to him whether you had cheetos crumbs smeared on your lips or whether you were dancing in a beautiful evening gown.

Because you were, well you. You were Mingyu’s best friend of nine years and with someone he had shared every single memory with, be it a happy, sad or an embarrassing one. Of course he wouldn’t care about your appearance (hell, he had even seen you when you woke up after bawling your eyes out for the entire night) so why was this point coming to his mind now?

You were pretty and that was a fact. There was nothing to debate about it and yet here he was, not paying attention to the movie but wondering if all the guys who had chased you were aware of this side of you. Would they still ask you out? Would they still send you roses and chocolates during that time of the year?

He snorted at the very thought of how fake their affection towards you now felt. Mingyu was pretty sure they would run in the opposite direction if they saw you in this condition right now; wearing your old Melody pyjamas while eating chips in the most messy way ever.

But he would never do that (assuming there was a hypothetical situation where he had to date you, of course). Because this was what made you you and he loved you for that. Everything about you was perfect in his eyes, including your flaws and mistakes.

Which once again, made his heart to stutter erratically causing him to suck in a harsh breath.

You turned to him when you heard him suck in a breath, your smiling expression changing to that of concern.

“Gyu? You okay?”

“Yeah I think…I think I’ve got a clogged artery.” Maybe it was high time he talked to a cardiologist.

“Dammit. Told you to cut down on those snacks.”

“Me? Or you?” He laughed, pointing at the heap of empty snack packets around you. You pushed all the packets to his side and he gave you his usual ‘defeated smile’, causing you to laugh once again.

Damn, you were really pretty when you laughed.

“Oh but clogged arteries? Please Einstein, I bet you were thinking about a girl, weren’t you?”

“What the hell? Where did that come from?” He spluttered, taken aback by this sudden confrontation. You punched his arm lightly before wiggling your eyebrows at him (Mingyu made a mental point to ask Seungkwan to stop hanging out with you since you were clearly picking up his habits).

“My dude, you clearly have a crush on someone. Why else would your heart be jumping like that?”

“I don’t think I ever mentioned it was jumping?”

“Oh please. I’ve known you for so many years. I know what’s going on inside your head.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “I don’t have a crush on anyone, okay?”

“Then why is your heart jumping like that?”

“I told you it's not jumping-”

“The only explanation is that you have a crush on someone.” You winked, causing him to groan. Letting out a laugh you patted his shoulder gently, letting him know you were joking. “I’m just kidding, Gyu. If you ever had a crush on someone, you would have told me right?”

“Yeah…” Mingyu nodded. He would have told you right away, right? But what if…what if his crush was you? Would he be able to tell you then?

“Speaking of which, one of my friends thinks you are cute! Do you want to go on a date with her?”

“Er, I don’t think I’m good enough-”

“Excuse me?” You glared daggers at him, causing him to halt mid sentence. “You are not good enough? What are you even talking about? Anyone who knows you well knows that you are a literal gem! You are smart, cute, handsome and well-mannered! What else does a girl need?”

“Er.” He tried thinking of something to say, but his mind was stuck on something else you had said. You had called him smart, cute and handsome? Sure, he heard you say it a million times before but it did nothing to stop the heat creeping up his cheeks.

“Give it a try, please? Suji is a nice girl too, and I’m sure you both would click. You know I wouldn’t have even told you about this if I knew you wouldn’t like her, would I?” You asked, your lower lip jutting out in a pout. You looked so adorable right now, pouting at him slightly as you spoke in a soft voice, as though trying to convince a child to do something for you.

As though in a trance, Mingyu found himself nodding to your words. “Okay. But why does she like me? I mean, I barely know her.”

“I don’t know honestly. She just said she had a crush on you because you looked like her ideal type.”

“So…she loves me because I look like her ideal type?”

You narrowed your eyes at him and Mingyu wondered what had he done wrong. When he still didn’t reply, you rolled your eyes and took the remote controller, switching off the movie and edging closer to him.

“No, you silly. She doesn’t love you. I said, she has a crush on you. There’s a difference.”

His head spun at your words as he looked at you annoyed this time. Why were you complicating matters when it was clear he didn’t know a thing about this?

“Look crush is like a short infatuation. It doesn’t have much to do with personality, and is mostly based on looks. Love on the other hand, develops slowly, over a period of time. Like you could give a million reasons why you might have a crush on someone but love is, love is just…there’s no reason. You just love them despite everything and anything. Like…their imperfections don’t matter at all.”

“Like how I love you?” He asked, and you just laughed, slipping your hands into his. He grimaced as you oily fingers brushed against his, but somehow it felt comforting when you entwined your hand in his.

“Of course not. We are just friends; everything is platonic between us. What I mean is loving a stranger, like a person you were not meant to be with in the first place. I mean like, not- not Seokmin, me or Seungkwan. Not your family or friends. Someone you accidentally happened to meet. Am I making sense?”

Mingyu nodded, understanding you very clearly. It made sense in a way. Loving you couldn’t possibly be the same as loving his girlfriend, could it? Loving you was like his second nature, like it was bound to happen and he couldn’t think of a time he didn’t love you and your friendship. Loving you was just so easy and just so natural; that had to be platonic right?

You switched back on the television, and for a few minutes, silence engulfed the two of you before you broke it again.

“You want to know something, Gyu?”

“What?”

“I would have definitely loved you if we weren’t best friends.”

“Hi!”

Mingyu turned towards the excited squeak and found a girl of his age standing beside him, waving a bit too excitedly. He smiled at her politely before beckoning to the empty seat beside him for her to sit down.

He had finally agreed to go on a date with Suji, deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to enjoy a little bit before he became completely busy with his studies. He had tried searching for good places to go on a date that might suit both his and Suji’s taste, but finding none, he finally had resorted to asking Seokmin for advice.

Currently the two of them were at the Food Plaza, a street completely dedicated to small food shops. According to Seokmin, he and his girlfriend enjoyed trying new food from there so it might be a great idea to take Suji there instead of a restaurant which would serve only a particular cuisine.

“So, um, Suji.” Mingyu began. immediately wishing a hole would swallow him up because of how awkwardly he had started. “What do you eat? I mean, like, what would you like to eat? Like- Like cuisine wise?”

“Uh, about that-”

“We could have Italian if you like! Or- or, uh, my friend actually recommended me this taco place but I’ve just got to search for it a bit-”

“I’m actually allergic to a lot of food.” She cut him off, smiling at Mingyu apologetically. As he stared at her, he could feel the embarrassment sinking in even more.

Oh. Oh. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have picked a different date spot.” He said, trying not to sound too dejected at how his first date was going.

“I didn’t want to offend you. I mean, it was the first time we were talking and you asked if this was fine with me and I felt it would be rude if I said no.” She said sheepishly, clearly equally embarrassed at how things were turning out.

Why did she have to overthink so much? Why did she have to be so polite?

“Then…do you want to go somewhere else-”

“I see a Subway here, behind you. Do you mind if we eat there instead?” She asked with a smile.

He forced a smile and got up, and she followed his lead. Oh great, this Subway is only a takeaway. “Of course not. Let’s have a Subway then.”

Mingyu had always had great expectations for his first date. He had always thought it would be at a nice comfortable place, enjoying the food as he got to know his date and vice versa. Never had he thought that he would be eating a Subway for his first date, sitting on one of the plastic chairs kept outside the shop, getting boiled under the hot sun.

The rest of the afternoon passed away in idle chatter. Suji was apparently a straight A student, but she had no other hobbies because she spent every single moment studying (he could understand her position, really, but it was still boring beyond words).They ended up talking about school and grades more than Mingyu had in his entire life and by the time they had finished lunch, his head was already throbbing.

Out of politeness he asked if she wanted to go to the amusement park but she told him she hated the amusement park, to which Mingyu had nothing to say.

Finally finding that there was nothing else to do (and they had nothing in common except for their grades), the two of them decided to call it a day. They bid each other goodbye with Suji thanking him for the food, and Mingyu promised he would catch up with her more (he didn’t intend to keep this one though).

The sun was already setting in by the time he began his walk back home and the atmosphere had gotten relatively cooler, but it did nothing to stop the pricking heat he was feeling all over his body. His head still throbbed from earlier despite finishing nearly two bottles by himself, so he decided to take some rest at the neighbourhood park.

He sat down on one of the wooden benches and finally let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

What was wrong with him? Mingyu could feel his head spinning as he felt oddly hot, his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably. Talking to Suji made him feel so uncomfortable for some reason, it felt like he had been talking to a wall the entire time. It was awkward, forced and just so annoying even though he couldn’t tell why.

And he felt unhappy. Unexplainably unhappy. Like he had been forced to choose a career he hated or like he had been told to stop art altogether.

Finally, he took out his phone and dialled a very familiar number, hoping you weren't busy at this moment.

You picked up at the first ring itself and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say? That he didn’t enjoy the date? He knew you wouldn’t feel offended by that and you would agree with him but then why couldn't he say anything to you?

“Gyu?” You asked softly, your voice laced in worry.

And that was enough to break him. He let out a sob as he screwed his eyes shut, feeling a heavy emotion wash over him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, though he himself was unsure what he was sorry about. “I’m so sorry. I just-”

“Where are you?” You cut him off gently, and he paused for a second to catch his breath.

“I’m- I’m at the park near our apartment.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes, okay? Just hang in there.”

True to your words, you were there within five minutes, and he found you crouching down in front of him. Gently placing your hand on his knees, you asked again, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He was still shaking from the aftermath of his sudden breakdown, the nauseous feeling threatening to rise if he opened his mouth to speak. So instead, he just opted to look at you with his teary eyes, hoping you would understand.

Mingyu had always been the softer one among the two of you. He was always the first one to end up with tears when he got hurt or offended, and at the same time he was the first one to forgive anyone for their mistakes. So it wasn’t really surprising that you had learnt to realise his emotions even if he didn’t, and you always knew the right word to soothe him.

“Hey,” You said, still talking softly to him. You took his hands in yours, gently rubbing circles on them with your thumb. “It’s okay. It’s completely fine that you didn’t like her, you know that right? Sometimes…things don’t work out the way we think they would. But why are you crying? Did she do something to you? Don’t tell me she forced you to kiss her or-”

“No, no, it’s not anything like that.” He inhaled sharply, finally finding his voice back. He didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Suji just because he was confused about what he was feeling and why he didn’t like her. “It’s just that…I don’t know. She felt so boring, bland and dry. Not in the offensive way! Like- like Minghao from my chess class talks about only grades and school too! But I never feel so dull…so lifeless with him.

“It’s okay.” You said with a reassuring smile that had warmth flooding back to his chest, the stupid prickling heat that had been irritating his skin now gone. Pressing a soft kiss onto his knuckles, you said, “We don’t have to justify why we don’t like or like someone ever, okay? It’s completely fine.”

And all of a sudden Mingyu realised what he had been feeling, why he had felt so unhappy and what Suji had missing.

“I felt uncomfortable.” He said, just realising how comfortable he felt beside you. There was a feeling you radiated, which was something no one could ever replace. Whenever he was with you he felt like he was at home, like no matter what would happen he could always go back to you.

Which was a given since you were his best friend. And yet, when he was with Suji all he could think of was you. Of how you made him feel. Of how you made him feel always.

“It’s okay, Gyu. It can happen. You know that I’ll always be there for you, right?” You smiled at him.

Mingyu smiled back at you, finally feeling like the throbbing in his head dull down a bit. As if on a cue, he remembered something like this had happened to the two of you long ago, another incident of you calming him down which had resulted in the two of you making a silly promise.

Back then it was a promise made at the heat of the moment, with little to almost no thought given to it since it was meant to be a light joke between the two of you. But when he extended his pinky to you and you immediately linked it with yours, Mingyu could feel your seriousness.

“I promise I’ll be there for you too.”

He pressed your doorbell multiple times furiously, patience running thin with every passing second. What was taking you so long? Were you that badly injured that you couldn’t even open the door-

The door finally swung open and Mingyu nearly flew in, engulfing you into a bone crushing hug.

“Ow! Mingyu- It hurts-” You clawed at his back but he still didn’t let go, pouring all his anger that had built up in the past few hours against you in this hug (he had always been told he had weird ways to show his anger). It was only when he felt you yank his hair at the back of his head lightly did he let you go.

“What the hell-” He began as he pulled away, still clutching at your shoulders. He took a deep breath in when he saw your split lip and bruised cheek, feeling his heart twist in the most horrendous way ever. “Did you think you were doing?”

Mingyu could feel the huge wave of guilt coursing through his veins right now. He shouldn’t be blaming you. This wasn’t even your fault in the first place. Why was he getting mad at you?

Because after all, this was actually all his fault. The whole reason you had even got into the fight in the first place was because of him.

And yet, you looked unfazed as you rolled your eyes at him, shrugging his hand off your shoulders. You walked into your bedroom and after making sure the front door was locked (your parents had gone out for a week and it was Mingyu’s responsibility to check if you were keeping up with the safety rules set by them), he followed you into your room.

“Why did you do that?” He asked once again, as you sat down on your bed with a huff. He followed suit and you turned to glare at him.

“What do you mean why did I do that? Of course I had to punch that asshole-”

“Then are you going to get into a fight with anyone who says they don’t like me?”

“Of course I will! And it wasn’t even a matter of simple liking. He called you a whore just because you didn’t want to go out with his sister. Who the fuck does that? I needed to get some decency punched into his head!” You snapped, causing him to flinch at your anger.

Why were you so angry? It was true that even he would have been offended if someone had insulted you, but now you had gotten yourself hurt and that hurt him a lot more.

“Did the school send you home early as a punishment?” He asked as he got up to search for the first aid box, trying to change the subject.

“Not as a punishment. The principal said he was letting me go since he was the one who started it. But they said that if I got into another fight, it would go down in my report.”

Mingyu hissed at the very thought of your report getting tainted due to him. Squeezing the antiseptic he had taken out from your first aid box onto a cotton bud, he was about to apply it on your lips but you caught his wrist. He looked up at you in surprise only to see you looking at him worriedly.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad. I’m just- Look, you got hurt. Because of me.” He said, his strained voice giving away the guilt he had been hiding all this time. He was mad at you; but only because you had got hurt so badly because of him.

“Nope. Not because of you. I got hurt because of that bastard-”

“Okay that’s enough swearing for a day. But why did you do that?”

“Done what?” You asked in annoyance, as though it was a stupid question he was asking. “Gotten into a fight? Gyu…wouldn’t you have done that for me too?”

“I- I would- I wouldn’t- Yeah. I would.” He whispered, feeling bile rise up his throat at the very thought of someone insulting you. Was that even possible? What would they even insult about you? What was even there to insult about you? You were so perfect in every way that Mingyu could not even think of any flaw that someone might find in you. “I would burn down the world for you.” He said, still whispering.

When you heard this, the creases that had formed in your eyebrows due to your anger disappeared, as you burst into laughter. He blinked at you confused, not sure why you were laughing. Nonetheless, he felt his own mood lighten a bit upon hearing your beautiful laugh, his heart skipping a beat when you smiled at him softly.

“Oh Gyu.” You said, grabbing his hand in yours. Right now you were looking so, so pretty that all Mingyu could do was stare at you and nod dumbly, all words dried from his throat. “You would burn the world down for me? Nah, you are too sweet for that.”

At this he snorted, jerking his hand away from you and proceeding to dab at your lips. “You underestimate my love for you.”

“I don’t.” You said, wincing a bit that caused him to freeze, scared that he was hurting you more. Seeing your wounds from up close made his heart squeeze painfully, and it oddly made him wish he had taken those punches instead of you. “I know you love me as much as I love you.”

“Then don’t get hurt.” He whispered. You blinked at him and he sighed frustratedly, pulling you into another hug. This one was gentler than the previous one and yet Mingyu held as close as he had done before, as though he was scared to let you go. “Then please don’t get hurt. It hurts me. It hurts me to see you like this.”

He felt you gently pat his shoulder blades before wrapping your arms around his torso, pulling him even more closer. Your scent, which he had grown so familiar with, comforted him as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

Hugs were not something uncommon between the two of you; you had hugged each other a million times before and nothing had changed between the two of you.

And yet right now, as Mingyu held your body close to his, he was hyper aware of how your skin felt against his, of how comfortably your body fit in his grip and of how his heart raced as you clutched his biceps. His heart hurt, his head hurt and yet, it felt so good to have you in his arms.

It really felt like Mingyu was the one who got into a fight; everything hurt so badly. He thought of the raging emotion he had first felt when he had heard that his classmate had hurt you. He remembered the panic he felt when he entered the nurse room and couldn’t find you; he was worried that you were in a worse condition than he had thought you were in and had to be taken to the hospital. And he remembered the relief flooding back in him when the nurse told you had simply been asked to go back home and there was nothing serious about your bruises. It had nearly torn him apart as he waited for the day to get over, dying to go home and make sure that you were actually okay.

He thought of all the emotions he had experienced with you; happiness, anger, sadness, fear, surprise and even disgust. Mingyu had shared a huge journey with millions of memories with you. He really couldn’t even imagine what his life would have been like if it weren’t for you. It was impossible to even breathe without you.

Suddenly he remembered what Seokmin had told him once, that maybe, maybe he was in love with you.

It was back when they were on a school school field trip and students had been allowed some free time around the resort so Mingyu, Seokmin and Seungkwan decided to play on the monkey bars. They were just either sitting on it or swinging aimlessly (sixteen year olds were a bit too tall for a playground meant for five year olds) with idle chatter when you and your group came and sat down on the swing.

Normally Mingyu wouldn’t have really cared and the swings were too far from the monkey bar to involve himself in your talk but he glanced at you and felt himself smile. You were laughing and talking to your friend, the sunlight catching your hair and almost giving you an angelic glow.

It was already warm but Mingyu still felt warmth spreading in his chest, his cheeks heating up within seconds.

Back then, Seokmin had joked, only joked, that Mingyu was in love with you but now, he realised that it may be true.

That maybe, he was in love with you.

And not in the platonic way that you had explained to him. Not in the way where you both exchanged ‘i love yous’ regularly because you loved your friendship.

He loved you in the way Orpheus loved Eurydice, the way Romeo loved Juliet and the way Louisa Clark loved William Traynor.

Because Mingyu had said it for himself; loving you was so easy and just so natural that he couldn’t even think of something else, he couldn’t even see himself falling in love with someone else. Loving you was like a river flowing, something that would have happened no matter what. Something that could not be stopped, because then it would be like a dam that had been forced to be built to stop Mingyu’s emotions from flowing.

“Just promise me you won’t get hurt.” He whispered and felt you slightly nod your head. You were gently rubbing circles on his back, with no idea what effect it had on him. “Promise me please. Because I love you so much that I can’t bear to see you get hurt.”

“I promise.” You mumbled almost immediately, unaware of the double meaning his words held.

But that’s okay. Mingyu thought. You didn’t have to know about his feelings. He wasn’t going to burden you or your friendship with his one sided love. As long as you were happy, he was okay with it.

After all, some promises were meant to be broken.

Like this one.

“What did you even want to show us?” Seungkwan grumbled, squinting through the sunlight looking heavily annoyed.

Mingyu didn’t blame him though. They had been sitting at the cafe for the past half an hour doing nothing, still waiting for whatever ‘surprise’ you had planned for them. The hot weather made everything even worse; Seokmin was already on his fourth ice cream, Seungkwan was sipping his sixth iced americano and Mingyu himself had drunk two large glasses of milkshake and now he wanted to use the washroom so badly but could only resort to shaking his legs.

“If I tell you it won’t be a surprise anymore, will it?” You said, checking your phone for the millionth time.

Mingyu realised that this was the first time in weeks he was hanging out with you. College was starting in a month and everyone had decided to take part in activities that might help them boost their respective subject knowledge. Since both of you had decided to major in different subjects, he hadn’t been able to see you much due to the conflicting schedules of your work.

He felt warmth bloom in his chest as he watched you smile at your screen, the corners of his lips tugging when he realised how ridiculously pretty you looked. Mingyu had come to terms with the fact that love was indeed blind; in his eyes you would always be the most perfect human being and even though you would never see him in a non-romantic way, he would always love you.

All of a sudden your eyes lit up, and you jumped up from your chair. “He’s here!” You yelled as you dashed towards the entrance of the cafe.

Confusion settled between the three of them as both Seungkwan and Seokmin’s eyes fell on Mingyu.

“He? What’s she talking about?” Seungkwan asked urgently, but all Mingyu could do was furrow his eyebrows.

He? Who were you talking about? Was it a new friend? It couldn’t be your-

“Guys, meet my boyfriend!”

Mingyu felt blood rush up his ears as he stared at you. A boy, of their age, beamed at the three of them along with you, both of you clutching each other’s hands. The two of you were met by complete silence, which was only interrupted when Seokmin’s spoon clattered onto the ground.

“Oh, hi!” He said, laughing awkwardly to ease the sudden tension that had built up. You pulled your ‘boyfriend’ down onto a chair beside you and it was only when the said man smiled at Mingyu did the truth finally sink in.

You had a boyfriend. A boyfriend.

Suddenly the air felt a thousand times hotter than it already was, compressing against him like it was trying to squeeze all the breath out of him. He felt his stomach drop as you smiled at the man beside you, your eyes holding so much love for him.

A love that could never ever be his.

Mingyu felt like he was going to be sick. And his two friends were doing literally nothing to stop the nausea rising up his throat. Seungkwan was glaring very obviously at the newcomer while Seokmin smiled at him awkwardly.

You looked at the three of them expectantly, your smile dropping a little when none of them showed the reaction you were clearly hoping for.

Mingyu felt his heart crack a little at your slightly crestfallen face and that’s when Mingyu realised how stupid he was acting.

How could he be this selfish? Just because he was in love with you didn’t mean that you couldn’t date or fall for someone else. Just because he loved you didn’t mean that you were obliged to return the same feelings. Hell, you didn’t even know that he was in love with you in the first place (which, Seungkwan and Seokmin considered a bit dense of you, because of the fact that it was apparently very obvious that Mingyu was and always had been in love with you; in fact that’s how they had come to know about this even without him telling them).

“Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Mingyu. And this is Seungkwan and this is Seokmin.” He spoke, forcing a smile onto his face for your sake. You immediately beamed back at him and for a second, Mingyu almost forgot that your boyfriend was there.

“Hi Mingyu! I’m Jisung. Y/N’s talked so much about you! At first I thought your name was actually Gyu.” He laughed and Mingyu smiled back politely.

He engaged himself in a casual conversation with Jisung and you, kicking his two friends lightly under the table so that they could help him a bit too. He didn't want you to feel bad. After all, you had looked really excited when you had first told them about the surprise and he wanted you to be happy.

"I'm hurt, though." Mingyu said with a pout, so that you would understand that he was only joking (he wasn't). "You never told me that the reason you kept putting your club activities over meeting up with me was because you had a boyfriend. You could have introduced us much sooner."

You smiled at him apologetically, a small shy one that caused his heart to stutter a little.

“Hey, come on.” Jisung laughed, placing his hand over yours and giving it a squeeze. “Of course she would prioritise me, her boyfriend, over you, her best friend.”

“Excuse me?” Seungkwan asked as Mingyu felt his stomach twist in the most revolting way. He felt something catch his throat, his cheeks flaming at the comment more than the unbearable heat of the weather.

Mingyu wasn’t stupid; he could feel the sudden tension in the air at Jisung’s comment and your slightly shocked face so he tried laughing it off. He really, really tried smiling at his words, however awkward the smile was, but for some reason he just couldn’t. All he could do was tighten his grip on the glass as he gritted his teeth to stop himself from lashing out.

Never had he felt so much anger towards someone. No matter how much he tried to digest that statement, he just couldn’t stop the bitterness from rising to his mouth.

Because it was true.

Mingyu knew it was true, and so did everyone else present at the table.

He would always just be a best friend for you, while someone else played the role of your boyfriend. It was a part he could never play, no matter how much he loved you.

But Jisung telling him that definitely didn’t make anything better. It didn’t make his feelings for you go away or make him realise how stupid he was to fall in love with his best friend. If anything, it made him feel worse. It was like Jisung had on purpose crossed all boundaries, just to rile him up.

“H-Hey guys?” Seokmin interrupted, as though worried of what Mingyu might end up saying in the heat of the moment. “Didn’t the three of us promise to play on Joshua’s new xbox at two? If we want to reach on time then we need to leave now.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Seungkwan said, standing up and grabbing Mingyu’s elbow to pull him up. For a second Mingyu looked at his two best friends hurrying to leave in a confusion and then it finally hit him what they were actually trying to do.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry I forgot to mention this Y/N. But we need to leave now.” He said, forcing a smile onto his face just for you. You still looked taken aback from your boyfriend’s comment and just smiled back hastily at him.

"Uh, okay. I'm sure we all can hang out together later too!" You called after them, and they hastily turned to you, bidding you a goodbye.

The three of them walked in complete silence for a while, as though the situation had not yet sunk in.

A boyfriend. His biggest worry was now coming true.

Mingyu could still taste the bile in his mouth and no matter how much he swallowed, the lump in his throat was still choking him.

"Hey man…" Seokmin said, stopping abruptly and causing the other two to do the same. He looked at Mingyu sadly, before patting him gently on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

He could feel tears sting his eyes as he balled his fists to stop them from falling. But no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't stop the feeling of his heart being ripped apart.

Why couldn't he be the one holding your hand right now? Why couldn't he be the one whom you looked at with so much love? Why couldn't he be the one who showered you with love and affection everyday?

The sadness clutched at his heart tightly as the first tear drop fell. Seungkwan clutched his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as though he could understand Mingyu’s feelings.

It's okay. He said to himself. You knew this would happen.

He hadn't felt this sad in years, not even when his friend Kwon Soonyoung made his entire friend group think he was the mafia when he wasn't, and definitely not when he had to force himself to keep a straight face when he heard guys talk about how pretty and awesome you were, or when you would open every single Valentine's Day letter and read them out to him, all the while giggling.

Mingyu felt Seokmin take his other hand and the comfort it gave him made him realise once again how grateful he was to the two of them.

He took in a shuddering breath to calm himself down before speaking. "Thanks a lot. For back there."

Seokmin shook his head, once again patting his back. "Don't mention it. I know this won't cheer you up and it probably sounds useless, but you both are going to two different colleges next month, right? Maybe, I’m saying maybe, you'll get over her. Maybe- maybe the lesser you see her, the easier it will be for you. Plus there's going to be so many other girls too, right?"

Mingyu just nodded, not having the heart to tell him how dull other girls looked to him beside you.

"But I just don't understand how Y/N still does not know that you are in love with her. I mean, even if she can't see it, surely her friends would have noticed?"

Mingyu shrugged, the feeling of dejection finally setting in as he watched the setting sun. But he always knew that one day or another, you would get a boyfriend that wasn't him and he would have to accept that.

After all, the promise that the two of you had made was just a stupid joke, right?

"Hey Mingyu. If you want, Soonyoung and I could accidently spill poison into that shit excuse of a boyfriend's coffee and Seungcheol or Jeonghan could cover it up."

He let out a laugh at this, feeling his mood lift up a bit. A bit.

"No thank you. I don't want any of you in jail."

"Damn, okay. What does she even see in that asshole anyways?"

Mingyu shrugged. "I guess everything that I lack."

"Hey, hey, hey." Seokmin shook his head at the two of them. "We need to cheer up! And you know what to do after a breakup?"

"Seokmin. To break up you need to be in a relationship in the first place. Mingyu hasn't even confessed to Y/N yet-"

"Do you," Seokmin flashed his eyes dangerously at Seungkwan. "Know what you need to do? That's right gentlemen. We need to stop by Joshua's house to play with his xbox."

"Did Joshua really buy a new xbox? Didn't he buy one last year?" Mingyu asked, already feeling slightly distracted.

"Yes and yes. You can thank me later on for being best friends with the richest kid from LA."

"He's friends with all of us."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Seungkwan."

𝐓𝐖𝐎. 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

The rain poured down heavily as he ran across the wet road, ignoring the way his wet clothes clung on to his skin, making him feel cold and clammy. His sneakers were soggy too, making it almost difficult to run, but he didn’t want to think of the consequences if he didn’t get to you quickly.

Mingyu came to a halt in front of a series of bars, taking out his phone hurriedly to check the address you had sent him.

Correction: he whipped out his phone to check the incoherent words you sent him with the line "oick ne up pld".

By now understanding your drunk texts had become a second nature to him; he could decipher it as easily as your normal ones. In fact, this current situation was such a common occurrence that he knew that it wouldn’t really hurt you if he reached a minute or two late but he could never get rid of that horrible feeling in his heart that something, something might happen to you if he didn’t find you.

Finally stepping into the bar whose name you had sent, Mingyu scanned the crowd for your familiar face. Being a Friday, the place was really crowded but it didn’t take him long to find you seated on one of the stools near the counter, emptying your glass in a flash before resting your forehead against the counter.

The tightening in his chest returned as he took in your expression, your drunken state causing his heart to shatter into millions of pieces.

He hated seeing you like this. He hated seeing you sad, he hated seeing you cry and he hated seeing you so heartbroken. It made him angry at the universe for making you cry, it made him angry at you ‘boyfriend’ for making you cry, and it made angry at himself.

It made him angry that he couldn’t protect you, or save you from feeling these emotions. It made him so angry that there were days he would just hate himself for not being able to make you smile. What was the point of being your best friend if he couldn’t protect you from those feelings? What was the point of loving you if you still got hurt over love?

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Mingyu walked over to your spot and sat down on the stool beside you. Then gently patting your back, he called your name softly. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”

You immediately shot up, looking around a little dazed until your eyes landed on him. Squinting at him a little, you asked in a slurred voice, “Gyu?”

“Yeah. It’s me. Let’s go home, okay?” He asked, still speaking softly as he gently slung your arm over his shoulder. You let him pull you up from your chair as he tightened his grip on your waist, and you buried your face in his neck.

Mingyu felt your nose tickle his neck as you wrapped both of your arms around his shoulders tightly, but he ignored it and instead focused on literally dragging you out of the crowded place. Once the two of you had made it out safely, he quickly hailed for a taxi so that you didn’t get wet (and because it was physically impossible for him to drag you all the way back home). After making sure you were seated comfortably in the backseat, he slipped in beside you.

“Y/N?” He asked, poking your knees as you rested your head on his shoulder. The strong smell of alcohol on you pricked his nose in irritation but he let you be, allowing you to use his shirt as a tissue. “Did you…break up again?”

You nodded slowly, sniffling once before looking up at him in teary eyes. Mingyu felt his heart break once again and it took him all his willpower to not wrap his arms around you and engulf you into a hug before you even spoke.

“He said- he said something was off. That he didn’t feel that I was really interested in him.” You mumbled into his shoulder. “I don’t get it though. I really liked him. What did he mean by ‘I wasn't interested in him’?”

“Maybe- maybe it's because you both have busy schedules?” Mingyu reasoned, not sure why he was trying for excuses for your boyfriend, now an ex. “Maybe he was under stress so he wasn’t able to figure things out in his end?”

“I don’t know.” You mumbled. “I-I thought it would work this time.”

It would work this time.

Mingyu had lost track of the number of times he had heard you spill those words, both in your drunken and sober state. It was a word he heard repeatedly over the years since college and he had thought that maybe after you got a job, he would stop having to hear those words.

But he still ended up hearing them after your every single break up, still sympathising with you like he was just your best friend and didn’t love you in any romantic way.

“Maybe it’s time you, uh, try something different?” Another common response. “Like maybe stop being in a relationship for a while, heal yourself completely and then try?”

“I’ve tried, Gyu. I’ve tried it so many times. But for some reason, I feel like something is missing in my life if I’m not in a relationship. You understand, right?”

He did not understand. Mingyu had never been in a relationship before thanks to his one sided love for you but even apart from that, he couldn’t understand how you could jump from one person to another in such a short span of time even though each of it ended in the same sad, messy way.

The taxi finally came to a halt, indicating that they had reached their destination. Mingyu quickly paid the fare and gently pulled you out of the vehicle, him still supporting your maximum weight.

Experience had taught him that dragging you all the way up to the fourth floor of the apartment not only was a bit strenuous to him but also hazardous to you (the dark corridors were not helping his clumsy nature in any way). So he slung your arms around his neck and pulled you onto his back, grabbing your knees as he made his way to the apartment elevator.

Once he stepped out of the elevator and reached his front door, he slowly let go of your one knee and reached for his pant pocket to get his house key-

Shit.

His hand came out empty and he felt panic grab him. Frantically, he reached for his other pocket but all he could feel was his wallet. In his hurry to get to you, he had forgotten to take his key with him.

How could he be so stupid? He had always been an organised person and always checked, double checked everything before leaving the house. How could he forget something so important, especially when you needed his help?

Shit, shit, shit. If we stay here any longer, Y/N’s going to catch a cold. Should I just go to a hotel-

The front door swung open and if Mingyu had been asked at that instant which god he believed in, Mingyu would have said Jeon Wonwoo without a second's hesitation.

“Oh god Wonwoo-” He began, as his older roommate just rolled his eyes, opening the door wider to let the two of you in. Carefully, Wonwoo helped a now unconscious you slide down from his back onto the couch. “How did you know-”

“How did I know you forgot your key?” Wonwoo asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Mingyu nodded, feeling Wonwoo’s disapproval through his stare. “Well, I went to your room to return your book but guess who had sneaked off so late at night?”

Mingyu averted his eyes down, feeling Wonwoo’s gaze pierce through him.

“It’s not that I have a problem with you hanging out so late at night. I’ve never even complained when Y/N crashes in your room. But why do you-” He inhaled sharply, trying to calm himself down. Mingyu felt guilt wash over him as Wonwoo continued. “But why do you run to her every single time? Do you have no self respect?”

He winced at his friend’s words even though he knew they were true. He had himself asked this question many times. Why didn’t he stop going to you everytime? Why did he force himself to shoulder your pain every single time? Why couldn’t he, for once, even hint that he loved you?

“You keep telling me it's the last time. Every single damn time.”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I promise this will be the last time-”

“You always say that!” He snapped. “You say that it's going to be the last time, and then you go back, and then get hurt as she rambles about her boyfriend and you still stick to her like she’s not hurting you; like you aren’t breaking inside, like-”

“Then what do you want me to do? Ignore her messages? Leave her alone in this state?”

“No!” Wonwoo hissed. “But if you don’t set boundaries, you are going to be her doormat forever! You’ll be a pushover-”

“Fine, I get it!” Mingyu snapped, mad at Wonwoo for not understanding him and mad at himself for being exactly what Wonwoo had just called him. Your doormat. “I get it, okay? I get what you mean. But I can’t just- I can’t- Fine, I’ll- I’ll get over-”

Both the men flinched as you murmured in your sleep, causing them to finally pause. Wonwoo sighed as he shook his head, slowly walking back to his room.

“It’s up to you, Gyu. Either chase her or forget your feelings for her. But what you are doing now- it’s just going to hurt you more. I’ll be in my room if Y/N needs anything, okay?”

With that, he shut the door of his room, leaving Mingyu all alone with a snoring you.

“Gyu.” You said, swallowing your food abruptly to speak. It just resulted in the huge lump to get stuck in your throat, causing you to cough as you choked on it. Immediately Mingyu shot up from his chair and thumped your back, slowing it down to gentle pats as gradually stopped coughing. “Thanks.” You muttered, giving him a small smile as tears slid down your cheeks.

“Be careful.” He said worriedly, pouring you another glass of juice. You took a sip of it and set it down, before giving him a bigger smile. Mingyu felt his heart clench painfully as you beamed at him gratefully; as though he was your saviour.

“Thank you for the breakfast.” He just nodded, swallowing thickly as he tried to distract himself from your smile; anything that wouldn’t remind him of the way the sunlight from behind gave you a soft glow, the way the corner of your lips quirked up when you smiled, the way- “And- and thank you for yesterday. Thank you for always, actually.” You continued.

“Don’t thank me.” He said, sitting down back on his seat. “That’s what friends do anyways, right?”

Opposite to him, he heard someone snort. Both of you turned your attention to Wonwoo, who was busy reading the newspaper (Mingyu had never seen his roommate with a newspaper; in fact the newspapers were only for him).

“Ah,” you said, “thank you to you too, Wonwoo. Gyu told me that if it hadn’t been for your timely intervention, we would have frozen to death outside the house.”

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes at you, as though trying to find the sarcasm in your statement. But you were genuinely smiling at him and Mingyu kicked Wonwoo lightly under the table. You might be stamping on Mingyu’s heart (unknowingly of course) but he knew you were always thankful to Wonwoo.

“It’s okay.” He muttered, going back to the newspaper. “I was just helping my friend.”

“Yeah, thanks for that too.” You turned back to him and scrunched your nose. “Gyu can be a little oblivious to his surroundings sometimes, right? He needs someone to take care of him sometimes.”

“Absolutely right.” Wonwoo stated coolly, picking up an egg tart that Mingyu had made specifically for you. He eyed Mingyu, before continuing to speak. “He definitely doesn't keep his own feelings and health in mind and is always dashing to help others, unaware about himself or what state he is in.”

Mingyu laughed dryly at his roommate’s statement, before shooting him a glare. Wonwoo then continued again. “But Mingyu is really responsible. And always has everything under control.” (By now, Mingyu could feel sarcasm even in Wonwoo’s breath) “In fact most of the time, it’s him taking care of me. Besides, I think we can all agree that you need to be taken care of more than him.”

At this, Mingyu shot up from his chair once again, pulling you up by your elbow. “You are done right? I’ve already packed some lunch for you. Come on, I’ll drive you back home.”

You looked at him confused. “But- But I just started-”

“It’s okay, you can have them in the car!” He said, quickly picking up some tarts. You rose from your chair hesitantly, but nonetheless waved Wonwoo a small bye as you followed Mingyu out of the house.

Just before closing the main door, Mingyu glared one last time at his roommate, but the older one just smiled at him, mouthing the words, ‘enjoy your “alone” time with Y/N.’ He air quoted the word alone, causing Mingyu to roll his eyes.

As he walked towards his car with you behind him, he made a mental note to talk to Wonwoo about not betraying roommates.

“I’m sorry.” You said, as you finally settled in the car seat. Mingyu looked at you confusedly, not sure where this was coming from. You had never apologised to him before because there wasn’t any need to. He would have gone to pick you up if you had ever texted him, break up or not, drunk or sober. It wasn’t like the two of you were strangers either, where one had to apologise for the inconvenience caused.

Wait, Mingyu thought. Don’t tell me she knows about-

“I keep asking you to come so late at night and pick me up. And then I crash into your house just like that. I can understand why Wonwoo doesn’t like me.” You said, a note of sadness lingering in your voice.

“Oh.” He let out a small breath of relief, feeling a tension release from his chest at your words. Over the years, as Mingyu saw how horribly you dealt with breakups, he had learnt to control his feelings even more whenever he was around you and not let a slip of word either. He didn’t want you to end up like that because of him, even the thought of it brought a stabbing pain to his chest. “Oh, don’t be sorry. What are friends for, huh? I’ve known you all my life. If I can’t help you get you home safely, I think your mother will stop thinking of me as her son.” He glanced at your direction as you gave him a small smile.

But Mingyu could tell there was still some weight on your chest so he added, “And don’t worry about Wonwoo. He does like you. It’s just that- It's just that he is worried that one of us might get hurt, you know.” That one of us being me. “He’s a great guy, trust me. He’s nice and caring in his quiet ways. And he’s someone I trust with my life. Apart from you of course. And Seokmin and Seungkwan. And Joshua too.”

Mingyu saw you smile more brightly from the corner of his eyes as you reached forward and placed your hand over his, which was on the steering. Had it been someone else, Mingyu would have flinched and probably would have accidentally rammed the car into a wall (he was speaking this from experience; needless to say the female coworker didn’t even glance at his direction ever again despite the ‘crush’ she previously had on him).

But yours were so warm and comforting, he felt himself relaxing against your touch almost immediately, before realising you were probably watching him. Quickly he straightened up, and inhaled deeply to control his heart that was giving small squeezes every now and then.

“So, uh,” He began, venturing into the area he knew might be a bit painful for you. “What did he say this time?”

You seemed to understand who he was referring to by the way you withdrew your hands from his and crossed them in front of your chest. You frowned slightly though Mingyu wasn’t sure if it was because of the sunlight falling on your face or the content of yesterday night’s conversation.

“I don’t know, Gyu. I don’t know. He said he felt I wasn’t committed enough. What did he mean by that? I always readjusted my schedule to meet him, ditched my friends whenever he said he needed me and god knows what else. What more does he need?”

“Did you mention that to him?”

“Of course I did! And he just felt that even though my actions were doing those, it was obvious my heart was searching for something else! Like what is he? A shaman?”

“Er, didn’t the last guy, what’s his name? Haejoon? Didn’t he say the same thing?” Mingyu asked.

“Who’s side are you on?”

“Yours, of course.”

“Good to know. But you are right, you know. They always say the same thing. Not only Haejoon and Jongmin. Starting from Jisung, they always say the same thing.”

“And what are you exactly searching for?” Mingyu asked as he carefully parked the car in front of your apartment. He really wanted to know what was the thing that you were looking for, the thing that caused your break ups and the thing that might finally give you solace. He wondered if he had what you were searching, though he doubted you would even bother looking for it in him.

You shrugged as you got out of the door, pulling the bag of food along with you as you got out. “I don’t know. I don’t know myself.” You said, though in Mingyu’s opinion you didn’t look that affected by it. Mingyu had always loved how cool and chill you always were about life but right now, he was really dying to know what was the key point that would win your heart forever.

“Here, give that to me. It’s heavy. I’ll carry it.” He said, reaching forward to take the bag from your hand but you just moved the handle away from him, a playful glint in your eyes.

“What? Just because you’ve been living in the gym off lately doesn’t mean I can’t lift this much.” You said, walking up the stairs.

Mingyu frowned and paused for a second, before chasing after you. “How did you know that? I don’t think I’ve told you-”

“Those arms don’t lie, Gyu.” You said with a wink, stopping in front of your door as you rummaged through your purse for the house key. “And besides, Seokmin keeps me updated with his pictures-”

“What? Seokmin has been sending you gym pictures?” Mingyu gasped, feeling his head spin. You just laughed at him teasingly as you walked into the house, a sound which made Mingyu’s stomach somersault but right now his head was in a whirl. “Y/N! Answer me!”

“And what will you do if I say yes?” You said, amused at his reaction as you placed the bag of food carefully on the dining table before turning to you. Your one hand was on your hip, the other on the edge of the table and you were smiling at him brightly, eyes crinkling at the corners.

You looked so, so pretty that for a second Mingyu had forgotten to answer your question. It was only when you raised your eyebrows at him did he realise he was staring, and quickly looked down so that you wouldn’t see the heat creeping up his cheeks.

“Uh, it doesn’t really matter to me.” And it shouldn’t have mattered. Mingyu knew that Seokmin and you were just good friends, and that Seokmin was really faithful to his girlfriend but still, he couldn’t help feeling disgruntled about it. Why couldn’t it be his gym pictures you were asking for?

“Uh huh.” He heard you say, but it sounded closer than before. Mingyu looked up and almost jumped back, because you were so close to him now, that he could almost count the number of lashes on your eyes. He inhaled your scent; you smelled like his soap. But he never knew his soap smelt this good, never knew its scent could be this intoxicating, slowing down his reactions as you beamed at him mischievously. How the hell did you manage to smell better than him in his soap?

“You don’t need to pout so much, Gyu.” You said, cupping his cheeks as you scrunched your nose at him fondly. Despite being six feet, Mingyu felt like a small puppy in your arms, waiting for its master to pet it. It was taking all his resolve not to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss you, or even melt into your touch this easily. When did he become so whipped for you?

“You know,” You began a bit absent mindedly this time as you dropped your arms and took a step back from him. “You look very cute when you pout. But I don’t want you to be sad on my behalf, Gyu.”

Mingyu blinked at you. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, me being sad isn’t your fault Mingyu. My breakups, getting wasted or even jumping into relationships so hastily isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

“What are you talking about, Y/N?”

You turned your back towards him and walked back to the dining table, carefully taking out the lunch boxes he had packed for you. “I see how you look after each break up. You look so hurt, more hurt than even I feel and somehow that hurts me more. I hate seeing you so hurt. It breaks me-” You inhaled sharply, trying to control the trembling in your voice. “I hate calling you each and every time, I hate leaning on you so much, I hate dumping all my sorrow over you. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I fucking hate it so much.”

“But- But” He began, still not sure what you were trying to say. His mind was in a whirl and it was hard getting out the thoughts in his head. “But I already told you many times that I don’t mind picking you up. I don’t mind being beside you whenever you go through these! If I don’t do these, then who will?”

“And I hate seeing you sad.” You finally turned to face him and Mingyu felt his heart drop. You were…crying? “If you stop being sad, then I don’t mind you coming over to me. Otherwise…I feel selfish. I always feel like an awful person and I hate feeling like this so much. I’ve just wanted you to be happy, you know that Gyu.

He snorted. “Well, you are being selfish. You can’t stop me from doing this much for you. Do all our years of friendship mean nothing to you?” What was wrong with you? Why were you saying such things to him? Each word that escaped your mouth felt like a slash on his heart, like all the things he had done for you as a friend, as a person he loved and trusted, had meant nothing to you.

“Gyu-”

“No, don’t start again! Don’t okay, don’t! You don’t get to decide what I feel or what I want to do for you! You are being selfish if you think it’s okay for me to stand back and watch you fall apart.”

“Mingyu, please listen to me-”

“If you care about my feelings then stop breaking up just like that!” He yelled. The silence that followed was almost deafening and as Mingyu watched your tears fall more, he realised that he too was crying. His whole body was shaking as he clenched his fists, feeling an anger he had never felt before coursing through his veins.

Why did he do that? Why did he say that? Why was he feeling so hurt over your statement? Yes, you were being selfish by telling him to stand back and watch you cry every time, whether he loved you romantically or not.

But it hurt him more that you were so ready to give him up was like a huge blow to him. And because of what, it made you sad?

He swallowed thickly, breathing in slowly as he tried to calm down his racing heart. “If- if you want me to be happy, focus on yourself first. After all, it was you who started it.”

“And one kilogram of cheddar cheese.” Wonwoo said, and Mingyu reached out to take the last slab of cheese kept in the open freezer, but instead he found himself holding someone else’s hand, who was holding the cheese he was about to grab.

He immediately jerked his arm back and turned to profusely beg for forgiveness, but froze when his eyes met the other person, who too was staring back at him with a look of shock.

Your eyes averted down to your shoes as you took a step back almost immediately, clutching the part of your wrist he had just held. And he would have kept staring at you, trying to think of something to say after last week’s fight if it wasn’t for the sudden crash sound from beside you that snapped both of you out of your daze.

Mingyu turned to his right to see a curly haired girl staring back at the trio, all the items that were once in her hand on the floor now.

“Ni!” You gasped, running towards the girl to help her pick up the things. Mingyu too moved forward to help but Wonwoo was the fastest among the three, picking up the groceries and handing them to her.

As she took it slowly from his hands, Mingyu all of a sudden realised that she wasn’t staring at all the three of them, she was staring at his roommate. At Wonwoo.

His eyes darted to you and you too wore an expression of shock and surprise, as your head moved between Ni and Wonwoo, as though finally understanding the situation.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked, the question snapping her out of her trance as she looked away, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Then turning back to him she nodded a little, before asking, “Are you okay?”

Wonwoo blinked at her for a second before she realised what she had just said, flushing once more as she furiously corrected herself again. “I-I mean, thanks a lot. For helping me, I mean.”

Mingyu looked at you once again and smirked, as you too mirrored back his expression. He very well could see where this situation was going and for once he hoped that Wonwoo wouldn’t screw it up.

“No problem.” Wonwoo said, before looking back at Mingyu. “So, uh, Mingyu should we-”

“Oh hey, are you sure you don’t want any help?” Mingyu interjected, signalling at Ni with his eyes, hoping she would get the hint. “Like um, do you want any help getting stuff from the top shelf because-”

because you are short? Was that rude? Was he overdoing it? But like he was blessed to have you as his best friend, you came to his rescue immediately. “Because you are short! And Wonwoo is tall! There’s nothing wrong in asking a sexy, handsome, tall man to help, right?”

Mingyu had always thought it was your charming personality and unearthly beauty that got you the long list of lovers but now he made a mental note to add smooth talker to it. Because while he was sure that if he had said that statement Wonwoo would have said no, he could literally see the wheels in his roommate’s brain turning as he mulled over your words.

“Sure.” He said, turning back to give Ni a smile. “Where’s your grocery list? I could help you.” Saying that he turned to look at you, tilting his head as he said something to you through his eyes. You pursed your lips a bit but looked at Ni and gave her a smile.

The two of them then disappeared down the aisle, leaving Mingyu alone with you, the coolness from the freezer all of a sudden disappearing as he felt the awkwardness settle in.

It had been a week since the argument the two of you had but none of you had made an approach to talk it out. And now seemed to be the perfect time to talk about it but once again the two of you just stared at the floor, waiting for each other to break the ice.

“Uh, so about that day…” You began, as both of you looked up at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, yeah, even I’m sorry so-”

“Well you shouldn’t be.” You interrupted him. Then taking in a deep breath, you stepped closer to him, looking down again. You looked so nervous and confused, as though you weren’t sure of how to apologise to him. “I mean, you shouldn’t be sorry because you were right. You were trying to help me, but, you know- I’m trying to sort out my feelings still, trying to find out what’s wrong and uh,-”

“Hey.” He said softly, putting his hands on your shoulder causing you to look up at him. You looked so sorry that Mingyu almost forgave you then and there. But he knew the two of you needed to talk it out so instead he said, “How about we talk about this after a few more days? I think we both are affected by this so I think we both should sort out our feelings and thoughts and then talk about it. You’re right, I do get hurt everytime I see and I know that hurts you too. But you very well know I can’t leave you like that, can I? If our roles were reversed you would do the same for me.”

You opened your mouth to say something but then closed it, slowly nodding as you let out a sigh and leaned in to rest your head on his shoulder. He felt his muscles tense as he inhaled in your scent, but relaxed almost immediately when you wrapped your arms around his waist. He did the same too, pulling you in closer as you stood like that for a few seconds before breaking the silence again with a chuckle.

“When did you become so mature, Mingoo?” You asked, causing him to groan. “Back when we were kids it was always me taking care of you. When did you grow up so much?”

“Hmmm, maybe if you took care yourself a little bit more-”

“Okay, okay!” You laughed, pulling away from him to look at him. You smiled at him softly, the familiar heat sparking in his heart as you nodded at him. “You are right. I promise I’ll get back to you in a few more days. Wait for me till then?”

I’m always waiting for you.

“You guys are terrible.” You groaned, tearing the wrapper of the triangular kimbap. You glared at five men sitting opposite to you individually, before taking a bite of food in your hand. “This is not what I had asked you all for!”

“Blame that on Mingyu.” Seungkwan grumbled, shooting a glare in his direction as he picked up a fish cake bar and unwrapped it, dipping it into his ramyeon cup.

Mingyu could feel the disappointed look of his friends on him, so he cleared his throat and tried to divert the blame away from him. “Come on guys. You all love eating at this convenience store. We’ve eaten so many times here during our college days! Doesn’t it bring back memories again? Just the five of us, meeting up after a month and enjoying a meal here? Can't you guys feel the nostalgia?”

He felt you slap his shoulder lightly, and he grabbed it with an exaggeration. hoping that would make you soft for him and you would stop scolding him so badly.

“Did I ask you to set up a reunion meeting? I asked you to pick a restaurant according to the guys’ convenience because I wanted to treat them!” You pursed your lips and glared at him once more, and the situation would have scared Mingyu out of his wits if he couldn’t hear Seokmin’s giggling from the corner.

“Sheesh.” He muttered, rubbing his shoulder. He was used to being blamed by the group for the simplest reasons such as breathing in the wrong way but he really hadn’t meant to mess up your well intentioned plans. “It’s fine, just eat up. Think that we cannot afford to eat at those pricey restaurants right now and eat up. Besides, I know you guys love this. Weren’t you craving cup ramyeon even yesterday, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo froze in the middle of slurping his noodles, before putting it down and saying, “I said I was craving your noodles.”

Mingyu let out a gasp, not expecting to be betrayed even by his own roommate, (it was evident Wonwoo hadn’t listened to his lecture about not betraying roommates) but it was swallowed by your laughter. He turned to look at you just as you stopped, chuckling at him as though still enjoying the joke.

The dim lights of the neon signboard hit you at an odd angle, but it was enough to make you look like an angel. You let out a giggle as he stared back at you, the smile growing on his face involuntarily. He could see the tiredness from the entire day’s work on your face, but you kept smiling back at him with such tenderness and love that Mingyu felt like his heart was going to explode.

Someone cleared their throat at the table, snapping both of you out of your daze and you immediately knitted your eyebrows back into a frown. “Oh gosh, Kim Mingyu! We could have been eating barbeque but now here we are stuck-” You said, shoving another fish cake packet to his face, “-eating this amazing, nostalgia inducing food!”

“Oh god, it brings back so many memories.” Seokmin sobbed, rubbing the corner of his (dry) eyes. Mingyu rolled his eyes at his friends’ dramatics, but he couldn’t help smiling at them. “It reminds me of the time Mingyu and I kissed.”

“Wha-” His voice was caught off as Seungkwan spat out the water he had been drinking, spluttering and gasping for breathe as Wonwoo thumped his back hurriedly. And even though Mingyu too was worried about him, the only thing he could do was let out a cry because unfortunately for him, he had been sitting opposite to the Seungkwan, causing all the spat out water to fall on his face.

“Seungkwan!” He cried as the table erupted in another round of laughter.

“Oh my god Mingyu, are you crying? Don’t cry baby!” Joshua asked, mischief laced in his voice. Of all the seats I could have sat on, why did I pick the one next to Joshua? Joshua grabbed a few napkins from the table and began dabbing it on his face, cleaning his ‘tears’. “Don’t cry, Gyu. We’ve got your back always.” Then dropping his voice a little, he added, “You know we’ve been joking from the very beginning right?”

Mingyu took the tissues from his hand as he nodded, a small laugh escaping him as he rubbed the rest of his face clean. “You guys are mental.”

Suddenly he felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around his torso, causing him to inhale sharply as you leaned against his body, glaring at the other guys. “Yeah, why are you pestering my poor baby?”

Oh god. Oh god. He tried to control his face from heating up, balling his fists so that he didn’t lose his senses due to your scent. Seungkwan must have noticed his sudden change in demeanour because he snorted and said, “That’s one big baby you have.”

“Besides,” Joshua said, pulling him away from your embrace and into his instead. “You were pestering him earlier too.”

“Getting pestered is just Mingyu’s love language.” You countered back. “But of course, it should be only by us. Right Gyu?”

“I don’t want to be pestered by any of you though?” He said, to which Joshua pressed his finger to his lips, shushing him. “If we don’t pester someone as nice as you, someone who can always laugh it off because he knows we are just joking and we actually love him, who else will we pester?”

“Wow,” Mingyu said sarcastically. “You guys are such angels. I love my friends who pester me!”

“I don’t pester you though?” Wonwoo said, causing ‘ey’s and ‘fucking liar’s to rise from around the table. He just laughed at them before raising his can of beer, saying, “To our friendship!”

“To our friendship.” Everyone echoed back, raising their drinks too, before taking a large sip of it.

Mingyu could feel the alcohol slowly settling in his system, a pleasant buzz tingling his entire self. The rest of the night passed by with such speed that one minute he was still eating and joking with his friends and in the next minute he found himself walking beside you, taking you back home.

He had insisted on walking you back home despite your refusal, because apart from knowing that it was dangerous for you to walk alone at night especially in this slightly intoxicated state, he also knew that his own mother would kill him if she came to know that he had let you go just like that.

Presently the two of you were walking through an uphill alley, you giggling at some old memory while he complained about the unfairness of it to you.

Suddenly you grabbed his arm, causing his heart to skip a beat as you jerked him towards you, looking at him with shining eyes.

“Gyu,” you whispered, even though there was no reason to do so, “Want to see something special?”

“Special?” He asked, his voice a little higher than he had expected it to be. Your face was so close to his that he could almost feel your breath against his neck, gulping slowly to control his breathing. “We- we have work tomorrow. Don’t you think it’s a bit too late-”

“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport.” You scolded him lightly, before smiling at him softly. He prayed to god that the warm, giddy sensation he was feeling in his body was due to the alcohol and not due to how you were smiling at him, eyes shining in a dangerous way as though you were about to show him a secret that was meant only for him.

“Okay.” He said, straightening up a bit so as to put some distance between the two of you. “But only if we come back within half an hour-”

“Oh, you can just crash in my house.” You said, all of a sudden giving him a light shove backwards. He looked at you in surprise as you suddenly took off, screaming at the top of your voice, “Race you to the top!”

“Why, you-” He began, before starting to run too, laughing at your dirty method of cheating. You knew you wouldn't be able to beat him, not when he had such long legs and had a much better stamina than you. But there was no way Mingyu was going to let you win, not when you had decided to win like this.

He caught up with you within a few seconds, throwing his arms around you as he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You shrieked with laughter as the two of you stumbled, doing your best to break from his grip but all those days in the gym had truly paid off as all you could do was claw at his arms helplessly.

“Okay! Okay!” You yelled, gasping for breath because of how much you were laughing. “You win! You win, okay?” But he still didn’t let go, burying his face into your shoulder as he giggled continuously. He could feel that he was losing his grip on you because of his sides aching due to his laughter, but you felt so warm in his arms, your clothes really soft and smelling like you that it made him pull you into him even more.

In the back of his mind Mingyu wondered if the two of you were causing too much ruckus so late in the night, but all thoughts were pushed back when you suddenly turned in his arms to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Time slowed down as he felt his stomach drop as you beamed at him gently, a soft smile on your beautiful lips as you tilted your head a little, looking at him with nothing but pure adoration. He felt his arms instinctively tighten around your waist, his breath hitching slightly as you leaned into him, noses almost brushing.

“This is it.” You whispered, your breath ghosting his lips. His mind was swirling as his heart raced, sure you could feel it with how close you were pressed to him. You smelt so, so good; it was enough to cloud all of his judgement. His knees had turned completely jelly at the way you were gazing at him, mouth slightly apart and it took him all his willpower to not drop you as you leaned your entire weight on him.

“Wh- what is this?” He asked, finally finding his voice as he forced his mind to come back to the present. He had to focus. He couldn’t let himself sweep away because of this.

The corners of your lips curled up a little, an action Mingyu had always found endearing. “This is the special thing I wanted to show you.”

He blinked, trying to process your words. Tearing his eyes away from your face, he looked around slightly bewildered, still not understanding what you meant.

You laughed lightly, and he could feel your chest rapidly rising and falling against his. “No, you idiot. Don’t look around. Just look at me. Us. We are the special thing I wanted to show you.”

He inhaled sharply at your words, finally the meaning settling in.

You were right. What more could be special to him than the friendship between both of you? The two of you loved each other so much, admitted you loved him platonically, but still, it was such a beautiful thing. The two of your actions and mannerism had been shaped by each other’s influences. He carried a part of you just like you carried a part of him.

“You're right.” He said, exhaling slowly as your eyes fluttered due to his breath. “You are so special to me, Y/N. I- I love you so much Y/N. I love you so much.” His chest contracted painfully when he said those words but he knew if he didn’t say them, he would combust even if you didn’t get the second meaning of these innocent words.

You sighed contentedly in his arms, before wrinkling your eyebrows in a frown. Then taking in a deep breath you said, “Mingyu, I- I’m terribly sorry for yelling at you that day.”

“What?” He asked, a little taken aback as he hadn’t expected you to bring that conversation back up for a while, and certainly not now. You just dipped your head low, until your forehead was resting on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I messed up big time. And I made you feel that I was using you.”

Something caught his throat at your apology, so he just chose to keep quiet and listen to you, opting to rub small comforting circles on your back instead.

“It’s just that I felt really bad seeing you look so sad on my behalf. Because of me. And I know I asked you back then to pick me up, not to feel hurt but you were right. Because like you said, even if it happened to you I would feel upset. Whether or not you ask me to stay out of it.” You finally looked up at him, lips slightly apart as your eyes ran all over his face. Even though you weren’t crying, he could see that your eyes had turned glossy. “And you were right. I know we already talked about this but still it was half assed so I feel like you deserve this apology. I want you to know that I’m truly sorry and I don’t want you to get hurt. The best way to make sure you aren’t getting hurt is to by making sure I just don’t jump into relationships. I was never a thousand percent sure of any of my relationships so far and yet I went into them and they all resulted in the same way. So I’m going to wait for the one that I’m a thousand percent sure about and only then go for it. How does that sound?”

“Good.” He said, giving you a small smile. “I just want you to be happy and take care of yourself, okay?”

You smiled back at him and nodded, before pushing yourself away from his grip. His disappointment at the loss of warmth soon disappeared when you grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, until you were leading him into an empty park.

“This,” You said pointing at the sky. “Is what I actually wanted to show you by the way.”

“You…wanted to show me the moon? Something we could have seen from your rooftop and reduced the risk of freezing to death while walking through some lonely street?”

“Hahaha. Very funny. I’m pointing at the stars.”

He blinked at you, pretending to look offended. “I thought you said we were the special thing you wanted to show me?”

“Yeah, that too. But since you have a very kind and considerate best friend, I even wanted to show you the stars. And as a sorry for the bitch I was.” If you had said this in an alternate universe where Mingyu and you were dating, he might have dropped some flirty comment about you being the brightest star in his eyes or something but since he wasn’t, he decided to keep it to himself instead.

He followed your suit and craned his neck to see the night sky, not finding a single speck of light in the ink black sheet overhead.

“There’s no stars, though?” He asked amusedly, watching you as you swore and kept turning your head, as though changing the angle of observation might help you find one. “I did tell you years ago that light pollution has made it impossible, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I know.” You muttered, still searching for them (Mingyu found it endearing on how persistent you were of showing him the stars and would have fallen for you more if he wasn’t already completely enamoured by you). “I just- I just thought since this was uphill and was a little empty it might be a good spot.”

That statement caught him off surprise. “You searched up for this place?”

Finally you gave up with a sigh, walking towards him in a dejected manner. “Yeah, yeah I did. I knew you would walk me home so I spent the entire night yesterday on Google Earth trying to find a good spot.” Your shoulder slumped a little as you sat down on a bench, Mingyu following suit. “I guess I should have come here physically and checked it before getting you here. Or looked around more on foot instead.”

“What the hell, I literally just told you it’s dangerous for you to roam around in the night on your own.” He said but it didn’t remove the pout from your face.

“I just wanted to show you how truly sorry I am. That I really, really want you to be happy.”

He reached over and grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze. It was surprisingly warm despite how much the temperature had dropped, and he hoped that you too could find comfort in his warmth.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I already forgave you when you said you would finally prioritise yourself. Besides, I can already see Orion up there.”

“What?” You asked, your head snapping up. “Where?”

Mingyu laughed at your eagerness, before you let out a ‘Hey!’ and punched him lightly. “Oh please. You are forgetting that I’m an artist. The best artist you've seen, right?” He wondered for a second if you still remembered that incident from twenty years ago, when you had claimed that he was the best artist you had ever seen.

Your lips stretched into a smile at the memory, causing his heart to jump that it was not only him that remembered such trivial things of your friendship.

“Yeah,” You muttered, tightening your grip on his hand as you gently rested your head on his shoulder. “You are the best artist I’ve ever known. Will always be.”

As Mingyu rested his head against yours and closed his eyes, he realised just how special the word us was.

“Good morning, handsome.”

Mingyu swivelled on his chair at this weird greeting, only to find Seokmin leaning against the glass door frame, arms crossed over his chest with a rather flirty smirk on his face. He just groaned and rolled his eyes while Joshua just let out a small laugh.

“What?” Seokmin asked, looking offended as his smile suddenly dropped, as though his girlfriend had just called him ugly.

“Go back to work, Seokmin. Don’t you and Seungkwan have any sound effects to add to the last game?” Mingyu asked.

Seokmin just stuck his tongue out, before walking over to Joshua, who was still laughing at his antiques. “I wasn’t even talking to you. I was greeting Shua.” He said, and Mingyu rolled his eyes once again.

“What brings you here?” Joshua asked, picking up one of the hundred cups of coffee he and Mingyu had kept in between them and handing it over to Seokmin. But Seokmin just shook his head, opting to take Mingyu’s sandwich instead. He raised his eyebrows a little at Mingyu, asking if he could eat it and the latter nodded. Seokmin took a bite of it, chewing slowly before sitting down on an empty chair.

“Sorry, can't really drink coffee much nowadays. And I already had one in the morning. Apparently it dries out your vocal folds and mucus.” He said. “Makes working for the entire day hard but what else can I do if we are so broke that us sound engineers itself need to record and compose apart from our usual role?”

“Don’t let Wonwoo hear you about us being broke.” Mingyu chuckled, before remembering about the other person in the sounds department. “Oh my god, how is Seungkwan surviving then?”

“He says if he drinks it in excess it will nullify the effect.”

“Oh shit, Seungkwan’s going to retire even before we hit mid life crisis.” Joshua joked.

Seokmin too smiled before pointing at all the coffee cups on their desks. “Well looking at all those cups, I can say the same about the graphics department to be honest.”

“Oh this?” Mingyu asked, pointing at the cups. “This isn’t for us, it's for watering the plants.”

“Heh.” Seokmin said, before standing up once he had done with the sandwich. “Then you guys will need more of it because we just got a whole new batch of houseplants.” He placed a file on their desk, clearly another new project, before saying, “God bless Y/N. She’s the best salesperson we’ve ever had.”

“Y/N gave this?” Mingyu asked in amusement, picking up the file to go through it. “She trusts us too much, considering the fact I already told her we still haven’t finished the last client’s game yet.”

“It’s fine.” Joshua said, leaning back against his chair. “He’s a nice author. He literally told me, ‘It took me a lot of time to come with this huge storyline so I know it will take you guys even more time’.”

“I wish Wonwoo would hire Y/N though.” Seokmin groaned. “He’s a great programmer and all but I just don’t get why he hates her so much. He was pretty fine with her at the beginning.”

Mingyu felt his cheeks burn as Joshua said, “Isn’t it obvious? He can’t stand seeing Y/N use Mingyu even if she’s clueless. Personally, sometimes when Mingyu’s giving her puppy eyes, I want to scream, cry, throw up and shake her until she starts seeing his feelings.”

“Looks like Wonwoo isn’t the only blind one among us.”

Mingyu snorted at this, before adding, “I don’t give her puppy eyes by the way.”

“You really don’t know yourself then. You always looked like a dog to me.” Seokmin commented.

“Wow. Wow. I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“Think whatever you want. Just because all those girls line up to see your biceps at the gym doesn’t mean I think you are handsome.”

“Are you salty that you had one less fan girl than Mingyu, Seokmin?” Joshua asked sweetly to which Seokmin just laughed. “No way, I have a girlfriend and they all know it. Me and Seungkwan are committed to our beautiful girlfriends. It’s always the two of you flexing your biceps a little too hard in front of them. At least Wonwoo is chad about it and not like you bitchless losers.”

“Oh no, are you forgetting Wonwoo’s new date? That cute girl he met at the grocery store? Also, it's not our fault you guys managed to find love at high school and college. Adult life wasn’t the fun and thrills they had promised us.” Mingyu complained. “Besides, I’m in a life long one sided love with my other best friend, not my fault.”

“Yeah, and I had a girlfriend too.” Joshua said, to which Mingyu and Seokmin deadpanned at him.

“You mean you had a hook up with Wonwoo’s ex-secretary.”

“And she just quit the next day. Out of the blue. And no one would have known if Wonwoo didn’t grill us on if we did something to her. Hell he even made you write a thousand times that you will not have office sex. You are lucky it's just the five of us here.”

Joshua raised his arms defensively. “Hey, I told you I don’t know why she quit. I never forced her to do anything. I would never. But the question should be why does Wonwoo need a secretary when he’s actually at the same level as us? Just because opening a gaming company was his initial idea doesn’t mean that he is the CEO now. We all contributed.”

“Are we all rebelling against Wonwoo today?” Mingyu asked with a giggle.

Seokmin pointed at the door. “Should I go get Seungkwan?”

“Instead of the secretary, Wonwoo could have hired Y/N. Wasn’t she the topper of her class? I aspire to achieve her dedication.” Joshua said.

“In fact, she dropped this file personally this morning. Asked me to imitate her and wish you ‘handsome men’ a good morning once it got clearance from Wonwoo.”

Mingyu’s mouth fell open in disgust. “You tried imitating her? God, that was so bad I thought you were flirting with us. You captured her horribly.”

Joshua pointed at Mingyu with wide eyes as he laughed. “See? This is why Wonwoo won't hire Y/N. She could straight up rob us and Mingyu will jump to her defence even then.”

He rolled his eyes at them and finally looked down at the file in his hands, trying to skim through the content. Suddenly he felt bile rise up his throat and constrict his air passage as he read more and more, stomach dropping at the rather familiar storyline.

“Oh my god, it’s so frustrating!” Seokmin cried, frustratingly wiping away his nonexistent tears. “Why won’t Y/N look at you?”

“Don’t you guys start too.” Mingyu mumbled, turning back to his desk. He had finally finished reading the storyline of the new game and the frustration of the scene suddenly hit as the air around him changed to seriousness, all the humour from before gone.

“What’s wrong?” He heard Joshua ask but he just shook his head, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“I’m sorry guys. We need to get back to work.” He said, before switching his computer back on. Through the corner of his eyes he saw Joshua pick up the file and lean in to read, Seokmin peering at it over his shoulders.

“Oh…” Seokmin said after some time. “Mingyu, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t” He let out a humourless laugh. “Don’t. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No, you are not.” Joshua began angrily. “If Y/N would just-”

“Just drop it please.” He cut Joshua off, closing his eyes as he buried his face in his palm. If Y/N could this, if Y/N could that, if only he was a bit more bolder-

“Even a game character manages to confess his love to his best friend and end up together. Just how- just how pathetic am I?”

He could feel his friend’s sad stares on his back and it just worsened his mood. Every bit of him just wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

Why couldn’t he fall out of love with you? Why couldn’t he just stop loving you? Why did you have to be so goddamn perfect in every way that no matter how hard he tried, he still ended up pining for you?

“It’s just a game.” He said, his voice thicker than he had expected it to be. “It’s just a game. Let’s go back to work.”

“This isn’t a date, by the way.” Mingyu clarified, causing the girl sitting opposite to him to give him a dry look.

“It’s not. It’s a self realisation therapy from your pathetic love life.” She said, slicing into her meat. Mingyu winced at her words but couldn’t say anything back because, well, she was right.

When Minghao had learnt that Y/N had broken up with her umpteenth boyfriend, he had decided to take matters into his own hand and asked (read: forced) Mingyu to go on a date with none other than Joshua’s sister, Julia.

“If Joshua finds out you’re having a dinner date with me, you’re dead.” She said, as though being able to read his mind.

“And if Wonwoo finds out I’m having a dinner date with his new secretary, I’m dead. In other words, I’m in a risky position of being murdered by my best friends.”

At this, Julia laughed, the mood of the table finally changing from annoyance at being forced to randomly go on a ‘date’ to that of one Mingyu was used to whenever he used to play with her everytime he would come over to Joshua’s house.

“It’s okay Dr. Black. I’ll find the culprit and make sure he gets what he deserves. You know how good I’m at Cluedo.”

“Yeah.” Mingyu said with a smile at the memory of the younger girl always defeating them at the murder mystery board game. “But the problem is Wonwoo is too smart while Joshua’s really creative. It might be hard for you to guess who did it.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sure all twelve of them want you to be alive for a very long time so that you can get married to Y/N and grow old and boring with her.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“By the way, I’m amazed by all of their deduction skills. Except the four who always hang out with me, I mean. How did they all come to know?”

“Duh.” She rolled her eyes at him. “It was so obvious that even Soonyoung didn’t need to blabber away. Hell, even I knew it before you realised it.”

“Wow, thanks.” He muttered. “Good to know that I’m obvious to everyone except that one person I wish would know.”

Julia chuckled, shaking her head a little. “You are to blame too. You always run to her beck and call no matter what.”

“That’s because-” Mingyu opened his mouth to explain but she just raised her hand, cutting him off.

“Don’t give me that crap about doing everything for your best friend. Because yes, you should be doing a lot of things for your best friend. But there’s a limit to everything, Mingyu. Knowingly or unknowingly, she’s trampling on your feelings. Excess of even good things isn’t healthy for us.”

His eyes dropped to his food, which suddenly felt unappetizing. He swallowed the food stuck in his throat, feeling a bad taste in his mouth.

“But I- But I just don’t know how to tackle this.” He whispered, and Julia reached out to hold his hand lightly. He looked up at her and saw the sadness and sympathy in her eyes.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “It’s okay, Mingyu. We all come across situations where we might feel like we are being trampled by the person we love in some way or the other, even if it’s not their intention. And you know why that happens? Because in that scenario, they aren’t communicating with each other. But all relationships are made on understanding. How can the two of you even be friends if you can’t understand each other? And yet, it is not within our power to be able to completely understand every feeling, emotion and thought of the other person. At that time, you need to communicate. You need to speak out. Ever thought of dropping hints?”

He stared at her. “ You…want me to confess to her?”

She shook her head once more.“Not confess, silly. Stay completely away from Y/N for a week or two. Sort out your thoughts. And then approach her. Objectively speak out your thoughts and feelings to her. She might be taken aback by it but it’s okay, give her some time. She’ll get back to you.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” Mingyu asked. His eyes must have been showing his fear because she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before drawing it and sitting back.

“Well then she’s not the one for you, nor is she a good friend. Whether she says yes or no doesn’t matter. And judging by how you are always by her side whenever she has a breakup, I’m sure you can accept her no too. But if she runs away without any proper response, then well it’s time to move on. You are a wonderful person, Mingyu. We all want the best for you.”

He gulped. “I know. I know. But it’s just so- just so hard, you know. I just feel like I’ll lose her. I just feel like I’ll lose.”

“Lose what?”

“Y/N. My love. My best friend. My everything.”

“You mean you feel like you are a lose-her.”

“Julia.” He said, though he couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But don’t worry. In that one week you’ll stay away from her to organise yourself, I’ll be there with you and help you out. And I’ll make sure all the twelve of us do. You have to, Mingyu. You have to. You have to take a break from her. And think about everything clearly.”

He smiled at her more brightly this time, head clearing up. She was right. “Yeah, yeah. I will. I will, don’t worry. What would I do without you? What would we do without you?”

“I know right.” She said, all the seriousness from a minute ago gone as she stuffed an entire piece of bread in her mouth. “This is why Minghao set you up on a date with me.”

“For the last time,” Mingyu groaned, “this isn’t a date. It’s a self realisation therapy from my pathetic love life.”

“-self realisation therapy from your pathetic love life.”

The two of them stared at each other as they said the exact same thing at the same time, before bursting out into laughter.

“See?” Julia said after a while, laughter slowly bubbling away. “You are already getting better as you slowly realise.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mingyu said. “Now let’s just hope Wonwoo or Joshua doesn’t kill me tomorrow itself when they find out about today’s plan.”

“By the way,” She said, biting into the last morsel of bread. “I’m curious about my job offer. Why did Wonwoo ask me if I wanted to become his secretary? Not that I’m complaining since I’ve always been envious of the projects Seokmin, Seungkwan, Joshua and you used to do but yeah, I’m just curious because this was quite sudden.”

“Oh that.” Mingyu coughed, not sure how he was supposed to answer this question when it could lead to his partial balding in case Julia pulled his hair in anger. “So, um, Joshua. He, uh, he had sex with Wonwoo’s old secretary so I guess he wants you to keep an eye on-”

“He did what?!” She spluttered, proceeding to stand up and then froze, eyes looking at something behind Mingyu in horror.

Just as Mingyu was about to turn to see what had happened, someone behind him let out a yell.

“Taehyung, I already told you no!”

The familiar voice caused him to turn faster than he had expected, and he nearly jumped out of his seat to get to you. In two strides he was by your side, yanking the man’s hand away from your arm.

He could feel your shocked face on him but he ignored it, choosing the focus on the man in his grip who was making his blood seethe in anger. “What the fuck,” he said, his voice coming out much lower than he had expected, “Do you think you are doing?”

“And who the fuck are you?” The man glared, trying to yank his hand out of Mingyu’s grasp but he just tightened it, not letting the man budge even a bit. Through the corner of his eyes, he could see a few staff come over to them to break the fight, but all he could see was red, especially when your next few words came out in a scared whisper.

“G-Gyu.” You whispered and he felt a small tugging at his elbow. “You don’t have to-”

“Gyu? Oh, so you are Gyu? Well fuck off asshole before I beat the shit out of you for ending everything between us.”

“We ended because of you.” You said and Taehyung snarled at you, causing Mingyu to give his hand another squeeze, diverting Taehyung’s attention back to him.

“You were just fucking paranoid, you bastard. Don’t even try to blame it on others. Y/N’s better off without you.”

“Oh yeah?” He sneered. “And how would you know that considering the fact you are the reason we broke up?”

What? As if I could even make a move on Y/N. But instead he said, “Is that so? Well good for her then. My girlfriend doesn’t need to date insecure idiots like you.”

Mingyu felt the air around him drop as the three people around him (Julia had managed to pry you off him) stared at him, but he just prayed that you wouldn’t look very surprised and give away the lie.

In fact, he was sure Taehyun would begin laughing at their faces but that seemed to do the trick. His eyes darted between Mingyu and you, sputtering out words as his face reddened with each passing second.

“You- you- you cheater!” He began, pointing an accusing finger at you. “You liar, you slu-”

“That’s enough.” Mingyu growled, grabbing Taehyung’s collar to drag him out of the restaurant, which wasn’t so hard considering the differences in their builds (he never thought that going to the gym would help him out in this way). Once outside, he let go of the other man, eyeing him disgustedly.

“Stay away from Y/N.” He said flatly, pushing the man a little when he tried to hurl himself at Mingyu. He saw Julia and you come down through the stairs slowly, the former holding you gently as you made your way down. “If not, I’ll call the police on you and maybe even get a restraining order.”

“Fuck, a restraining order just because I want to get back to her? You are as fucking messed up as that bitch.” He growled.

“I will call the police right now if you don’t stop calling my girlfriend names like that. Besides, what you are doing is stalking. So get lost now before I actually remove the front two teeth of yours.”

Holding his wrist gingerly, Taehyung gave the trio another disgruntled group, before turning the other direction and walking away, muttering something about mental people ending up together.

As Mingyu watched his figure disappear down the street, he could feel the adrenaline rush quickly disappearing from his veins. The cool night air pressed against him as he felt his body temperature finally come down from its previous risen state, chest rising up and down as he tried to control his breathing slowly.

Mingyu turned to look at you, and felt his heart clench painfully as he took in your shrunken appearance, nodding vigorously as Julia whispered into your ear, rubbing circles on your back. Walking up to you, he took your hands in his and sighed, before asking, “Are you okay?”

Your eyes darted to his and stayed there, lips slightly parted, taking in his features as though it was the first time you were seeing him. You stared at him for a few seconds before Mingyu asked again, feeling worry cloud his mind. “Y/N?”

Saying your name seemed to snap you out of your trance as you jerked away from him, removing your hands from his as you rubbed your arms.

“Yeah.” You said, your voice strained as your eyes roamed over his face with an unreadable expression. Now he was getting really worried. What else had Taehyung done to you? Had it happened before? Though Mingyu knew about your obsessive ex, you had never mentioned to him about Taehyung disturbing you before.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said, finally looking down. “Thank you for pretending to be…my boyfriend.” The way you said ‘my boyfriend’ sounded foreign to Mingyu’s ears, like you were having difficulty pronouncing it. It did hurt him a bit but he was more preoccupied by the way you were acting.

He sighed, taking off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. “You are not fine.”

“I- I-” You opened your mouth to speak but then closed it, as though still trying to figure out whether or not you were okay. Mingyu could see your mind running in a million different directions so he figured it would be better if you could slowly jot down your thoughts in a more comfortable place.

Turning to Julia, he said, “I’m taking Y/N back home. I’ll drop you on the way, okay?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll take a cab. Don’t worry about me. Just get Y/N back home safely, okay?” She said, already taking out her phone to book an Uber. With a jolt, Mingyu suddenly realised how much Julia had grown up and that she was no longer the small girl who used to peep into her older brother’s room through the curtains.

“Okay. But give me a call when you reach, okay?” He said as she waved them goodbye before getting into the taxi. Then turning to you, he gave his hand and you took it, though you were avoiding his eyes once more.

Even the ride back to your place was filled with silence and though Mingyu wanted to ask you about what had just happened, he could feel that your thoughts were completely preoccupied. It was only when he parked the car in front of your house did you speak up.

“Gyu.” You said, finally turning to look at him. He froze when he saw glassy your eyes were, your bottom lip trapped by your teeth as you bit onto it to prevent yourself from crying.

“Y/N?” He asked worriedly, grabbing your hand with one hand as he cupped your face with the other. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Is it Taehyung? Did he hurt you? Has he done it before? When did it-”

“It’s not him.” You said with a sniffle, screwing your eyes shut as the first tear fell, leaning into Mingyu’s touch. He felt his heart squeeze painfully and he gently wiped away your tears with his thumb. “It’s not him. Don’t worry about him, it’s- He just happened to meet me here today and he started acting like that but it’s- but it’s-”

“It’s what?” Mingyu asked gently and you opened your eyes to look at him. Taking in another shuddering breath to control your tears, you said, “I- I just realised something this evening. And I- and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Worry grew in him as he took in your words. “What is it? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” You whispered, shaking your head. You placed your other hand on his and gave it a squeeze, as though trying to find comfort in his touch. “I don’t even know how to say it though. I- I think I will mess it up.”

“Okay. Okay. It’s okay.” He whispered, slowly rubbing small circles on the back of your hand in an attempt to calm you down. “Breath with me. Breath Y/N. It’s going to be okay. I’m there right here. I’ll always be there for you.”

“I know. I know. I just- don’t know what to do about it.” You rambled, still crying.

Mingyu’s mind was in a whirlwind. For the first time in twenty years, he couldn’t understand what you were talking about, what you were implying or what was making you cry.

It was certainly not Taehyung. And it was definitely not something he had said or else you would have been uncomfortable around him. So what had happened this evening that had broken you down like this?

“Gyu.” You sobbed, leaning into the crook of his neck as you buried your face in his shoulder. “Gyu, I’m so sorry for this. I’m so so sorry.” Sorry for what? “Promise me you’ll never hate me. I can never hate you too. I’ll love you forever. But promise me you’ll love me forever too. No matter what happens.

“I promise.” He said, the only response from you being your sobs getting louder as you dug your fingers into his shoulder deeply. And unlike all the other promises Mingyu had made to you, he intended to keep this one.

“Hi.” Mingyu said with a smile, extending his umbrella over your head as he came and stood beside you. Though you were not getting wet, he could see that you were shivering slightly from the cold, rubbing your arms as the rain dripped from the narrow beam sheltering you and fell into the puddle forming right in front of both of you.

You looked up at him just as you sucked in a breath sharply, staring at him with such wide eyes that your pupils were completely blown out. He cocked his head to a side worriedly, smile faltering a little as you continued to stare at him.

“Y/N?” He asked softly, taking a step closer until he could wrap an arm around your waist. “Are you okay?”

You blinked at him, looking away shyly as you muttered a small ‘yeah’, finger digging into your arms as you tried hiding your face from him. Mingyu frowned, taken aback by the sudden change of behaviour. Were you shy in front of him?

“Hey.” He said, this time a bit more louder as he gently tugged you towards him until he was practically hugging you, resting his chin on top of your head. He moved his arm up to your elbow, rubbing small circles on it, causing you to let out a sigh as you finally turned to him, burying your face into his neck. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You muttered, wrapping your arms around his torso as though trying to engulf yourself in his warmth completely. He felt his heart squeeze at your endearing action, a chuckle escaping him as he let you stay in that position, enjoying the sound of rain.

“Is it Taehyung?” He finally asked, breaking the silence after a while. Your head shot up as you looked at him in surprise, as though caught completely off guard by his question. “Tae- What? No! Of course not. Don’t worry, I haven’t had the time to think about him.”

Mingyu hummed in response, asking you to go on. You rested your head against his shoulder once again, pausing a little as though thinking about how to go on. “I’ve been thinking about…something. Something else. A lot of things actually, so uh, I’ve been feeling tired for the past few days.”

“Care to tell me what’s running in your pretty head so that I can lessen your burden?” He felt you relax into his touch but then stiffen almost immediately, slowly slipping out of his grip. He let the arm holding you drop as you made some space between the two of you, still close enough for him to feel your body warmth.

He watched you with worry as you chewed on your lips, before looking at him with a rather obviously forced smile. “Nope, you unfortunately can’t.” You said, the smile still plastered on your face. “It’s work related so of course it’s out of your domain.”

“Okay…” He said slowly, still uncertain but deciding to drop the subject for now. “So, uh, you said Chaewon wanted to see me?”

“She wanted to see us.” You corrected and even though you had meant it as a joke, Mingyu’s mind couldn’t help but replay that night when you had said us was the special thing you had wanted to show and he felt his heart lighten up a bit at the reminder of it.

But in front of you, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, us. Why did she want to meet us?”

You shrugged. "Said she had to give us somethi-"

"Mingyu!" Someone called him just as he felt a new arm drape around his neck, its owner wedging herself between him and you. He blinked for a second as the heavy smell of perfume and loss of warmth overtook him, before smiling back at the woman flashing all her teeth at him. "How are you?"

"I'm good. What about you, Chaewon?" He asked, gently detaching himself from her powerful grip. "How's work?"

"It's being a pain in the ass so of course I'm not fine." She said with a laugh that Mingyu too returned (politely). “Anyways, I’ve got a surprise for both of you!”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve been going on and on about the surprise but what is it actually? You said, rolling your eyes a bit. Mingyu had never realised how cute you looked when you were annoyed but right now, you looked absolutely adorable, with your eyebrows slightly knotted together as you huffed out a breath.

“So…” Chaewon drawled, looking at either of them once before pulling out something from her pocket. “I got you us tickets for the 9Muses!”

Mingyu blinked at her, feeling his cheeks pull into a smile as a new found excitement erupted in his heart. “Wait- 9Muses? Really?”

Chaewon smiled back at him superiorly as she waved four tickets in front of his face. “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m awesome. You can thank me later on when you and your future girlfriend finally hit off.”

The last statement caused him to pause, eyes darting to you as a force of habit before looking back at Chaewon in surprise. “Future…girlfriend?”

She meant you, right? It wasn’t the first time people had mistaken the two of you for a couple but Chaewon had known you since college which could only mean that she was referring to-

“I’ve set you up for a blind date!” She said excitedly, but Mingyu could feel the colour draining from his face as an ugly sensation rose up his throat. “That’s why I actually have four tickets-”

“You did what?” You asked, causing him to look at you in surprise. You were looking at Chaewon in complete shock with your mouth slightly open, as though you could not believe what she had just done. Chaewon too seemed to be taken aback by your reaction, because her next few sentences came out in a stammer.

“I- I thought- You told me you were sad that Mingyu was never in a relationship so I thought- “

“I-” You began, but stopped when you looked at him, immediately averting your eyes to the ground instead. Something was wrong. Something was bothering you from the very beginning but Mingyu could tell that something about this proposal had upset you even more. But what was it? Did you not want to go to the concert?

“Yeah. Yeah I did say that.” Then looking up at him, you gave him a smile, though he could see that you were battling with something deep inside. “You should totally take that person out as you date. Who knows, you both might hit it off really well, huh?”

Even though he had prepared himself for this very situation many times before, these words coming from you still hit him with a blow. It had been years since he had gone on a date with your friend Suji and yet it still hurt him freshly that you were this eager to give him away to someone else so readily. He was still okay with you always dating someone else but everytime you would try to get him to go out with someone, it would hurt him even more.

But instead, he smiled back at you and nodded to your words. “Yeah, who knows? We might actually end up dating.”

You laughed at his statement, hitting him on the shoulder lightly. “Oh my god, I can’t wait to babysit my nephews and nieces.”

“Excuse me?” Mingyu gasped, giving you a look of disgust. “That’s too far, don’t you think?”

“Well, you are such a gentleman that it would be stupid for anyone to let you go.” Chaewon commented with a smile and Mingyu felt his cheeks heat up a little.

“It’s nothing like that.” He muttered. He felt you reach out for his hand and give it a squeeze, causing him to look at you. You smiled at him softly, before saying, “Don’t say that, Gyu. You are the kindest and sweetest person in this world. Anyone would want to be with a wonderful person like you.”

Then why don’t you want to?

But before he could retort to your compliment that had him almost weak in his knees, Chaewon clapped both of you on your backs. “Okay, then! It’s decided. I’ll send you the details later on, Mingyu. See you on Sunday!”

“Yeah, bye!” Mingyu waved at the two of you as Chaewon produced an umbrella (practically out of nowhere) and wrapped an arm around you and darted across the street. He watched the two of you with a smile as you struggled to keep up with your friend’s pace, finally breaking free from her grasp when you both reached the other end. Turning back, you waved at him one final time before slipping into your car.

He waited for your car to completely disappear down the street before stepping out into the rain himself, his heart weighing down more and more with each step he took.

Time to brace yourself again, Mingyu.

“Perfume. Check. Breath mints. Check. Keys. Check.” Mingyu muttered, going over his things that he was supposed to carry one last time before he actually left. Glancing at the mirror one last time, he smiled to himself, patting down his hair to fix his hairstyle.

Be happy, Mingyu! You are going to a 9Muses concert. And you look fine.

Then why doesn’t Y/N think I look good?

The very reminder of you brought up the bile to his throat, his smile dropping almost immediately as he let out a sigh. Exhausted, he crashed onto his sofa massaging his throbbing temples that had been hurting ever since Friday due to his complicated thoughts.

He was going to go to the concert of his favourite band. With you. And with a pretty girl that could potentially be his future girlfriend if things went well tonight.

Then why did he feel like throwing up at the very thought of holding someone else’s hand that wasn’t you? Why did his skin crawl at the thought of smiling, laughing and flirting with someone that wasn’t you?

He felt so sick that a small part of him didn’t even want to go to the concert now. The fact that he would be on a date with another girl with you right beside him was suffocating him so much that he really felt like he was going to die.

He could feel himself shrinking back to his fifteen year old self, when he was on a date and he felt like throwing up. Back then he didn’t know why. But now that he did, it felt even more worse.

Mingyu glanced at the clock on his wall, before closing his eyes to calm himself down. He still had an hour to go and pick up Yoobin and then drive to the concert. If he could just-

The doorbell suddenly rang, jerking him out of his thoughts and he sat up straight, frozen as to what to do next.

Who could it be at this time? He wasn’t expecting anyone. It certainly wasn’t Wonwoo as he had gone for a week to live with his parents. Lately, there had been a lot of burglaries in his neighbourhood. It couldn’t be…?

“Snap out of it.” He muttered, slapping himself lightly before getting up to go and get the door. He was sure that it was a dinner delivery at the wrong address and swung open the door, ready to tell the delivery man he was at the wrong house.

But when he opened the door, he found himself staring at you, you who were completely dressed up for the concert and definitely not supposed to be here, you who looked so stunning that Mingyu momentarily forgot to speak until you broke the silence.

“Don’t go out with her.”

“What?” Mingyu asked, snapping out of his reverie as he tried processing your statement. What were you talking about?

You took a step closer to him and repeated your statement. “Don’t go out with her. Yoobin. Don’t go out with her.”

You reached out to him but all he could react to your statement was by taking a step back instead, feeling even more confused about what you were talking about.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” He asked. You opened your mouth and closed it, before taking in another step towards him so that you were inside the house now.

Taking in a shaky breath, you whispered. “Please don’t go out with her, Gyu. I know it’s very selfish of me but I-”

Swiftly, Mingyu closed the door behind you before pulling you close to him by your waist, cupping your face in his hands. “Hey,” he whispered, as you froze in his touch, eyes going glassy with tears. He could feel himself panicking at the thought that maybe someone had hurt you badly but he tried to keep himself calm. “What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong, love. You’ve been acting so different these few days and now this-”

“It’s because I love you.” You choked, tears finally streaming down your cheeks. “I love you, Gyu. I love you. I love you so, so much.”

Now it was Mingyu’s time to freeze. His brain seemed to slow down by a million years as a loud ringing filled his ears instead, stomach dropping like he was on a roller coaster. What did you just say?

You covered his hands with yours, gently removing them from your cheeks and holding them in yours instead as you whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry Mingyu. I know I’m really selfish but please don’t go out-”

The rest of your rambling was completely cut off as he smashed his lips against yours, fireworks immediately exploding in his heart. He felt you drop his hands as you wrapped it around his arms, fingernails digging into his skin as you held onto him while you kissed him back as passionately as he was kissing you. Every bit of Mingyu’s perception was drowned out as you took over his senses, and the only thing he could think and feel was you, you and you.

He ran his one hand fervently against your back while the other pulled you impossibly closer by your waist. His entire skin tingled as you ran your mouth over his again and again, tangling your finger in his locks.

Mingyu couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t believe it. If it wasn’t for the excess blood pumping to his ears and his heart threatening to swell and burst out of love and happiness, he would have been sure that this was just a dream.

Finally, you pulled away, gasping for breath, and the loss of warmth caused him to chase after your lips, desperate to get back that euphoric feeling of kissing you.

You laughed lightly as you placed a hand over his chest to stop him, tears once again flowing down your cheeks. Mingyu rested his forehead against yours, cupping your face gently with one hand as you leaned in to his touch even more.

“I waited for you so long.” He whispered, and you screwed your eyes shut, nodding to his statement. “I loved you for so, so long. So long.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered back, opening his eyes to look at him. “I’m so sorry I never realised I loved you and even when I did, I didn’t approach you.”

At this, Mingyu shook his head, resting both of his hands on the small of your back as you cupped his face, staring at him so softly and with so much love that he could feel his knees going weak. “Don’t apologise. I just- I just wish that I had kissed you in a more romantic setting-”

“Oh, Gyu.” You said, brushing your lips against his, causing his brain to short circuit once again. “This was the best kiss I’ve ever had. It’s you who made it so romantic. Doesn’t matter that I barged into your house an hour before we left.”

“I think it should matter.” He said with a pout. “After all, you did barge into my house.”

You pressed a quick kiss on his lips in response. “And what should I do to make up for it, baby?”

Mingyu didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with you more than he already was but somehow, impossibly, you calling him baby had him falling for you even more. The entire world around him had dimmed as he could see only your face, eyes shining and lips quirked in a cocky smile.

He didn’t even realise he was staring at you until you reached up and kissed him softly again, closing his mouth that had been slightly open. “Gyu.” You murmured. “I asked you a question.”

“Huh?” He asked, too busy kissing you back. Was your heart supposed to dance like this whenever you kissed someone? He wasn’t even sure if his stomach dropping so much as your hands ran over his back was a good sign.

“I asked what I should do to make it up to you.”

Oh. His eyes flicked to your lip gloss smudged lips, which were swollen and this time Mingyu felt a different kind of feeling spark in his heart. A desire to ruin you even more.

“Well,” he said, kissing the corner of your lips. “You could let me worship you.” Another kiss on your jawline, causing you to sigh. The sound shot up a shiver down his spine and he wondered if he would be able to survive even the night. “Let me show you how much I’ve loved and wanted you for all these years.”

“Yes, but,” you said, pushing yourself away from him. “I should be the one making up to you.” Saying that, you pushed him, not too hard, but enough for him to stumble back and fall on the sofa (thank god the sofa happened to be there. Mingyu wasn’t sure if he would be able to live with the embarrassment had he fallen on his ass instead.)

He watched you in awe as you climbed onto his lap, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he found himself grabbing you by your waist to pull you in closer. You looked so sexy that Mingyu was sure he had ascended to heaven.

You leaned down to capture his lips in yours again, feeling your thumb gently stroke his jawline. He could taste your lip gloss, igniting that fire in the pit of his stomach again as he licked your bottom lip to get more of it.

You opened your mouth a little more and his tongue accidentally slipped in, and Mingyu couldn't help but dig his nails into your skin in an attempt to cover up his groan. Your mouth was so wet and warm against his, tongue gliding over each other’s as you both fought for dominance.

He quickly broke the kiss, before moving to kiss the soft skin right below your ears.

“Gyu…” You hummed, the sound sending a shiver through his dick. He really wanted to elicit more of those sounds from you now, so he grazed his teeth lightly into the skin, causing a gasp to escape you. Immediately he soothed the area with his tongue, your gasp turning into a very low moan as pulled at the locks of his hair near his neck. “Gyu, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’ve always loved you, angel. And I’ll love you forever.” He whispered back, leaving trails of kisses on your neck as he moved downwards, finally stopping at the hollow of your neck. By now, he had realised that the best way to get you undone was by grazing his teeth against your skin and then soothing the area with his tongue.

But when you shifted slightly on his lap to move even more closer for him, he felt his dick twitch and another groan escaped him. It felt so good, and so, so right doing this with you, whatever the two of you were even doing. Your head was completely thrown back as Mingyu marked love bites all over your neck, gripping on his hair as you grinded down on him. Your moans had gotten much louder by now and with each sound he got out of you, he could feel his dick getting harder and harder.

Each time your cunt rubbed against his dick, mingyu felt a small relief wash over him but it just wasn’t enough; he wanted more of it, more of you and he wanted you to want him equally as much.

“Gyu.” You whispered, all of a sudden, causing him to pause. He looked at you with widened eyes, panic gripping him that he had done something wrong. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“Can you- can you take off your shirt? If you are okay with it? Or else-”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it, princess. A hundred percent okay. Okay with whatever you do.” He said, reaching downward to pull off his shirt but felt your hands stop him, causing him to look at you in surprise.

You were looking at him with guilt and a bit of sadness, before you reached down to press a soft kiss on his lips.

“Don’t say that, Gyu. Don’t say that, please. I’ve been hurting you all these years. Knowingly or unknowingly. So don’t- don’t say that, okay? I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You said.

For some reason, Mingyu felt his heart soften at your words. It was like a huge knot that had tangled his heart, not allowing it to beat and causing him pain for all these years had finally opened, releasing him from all pain. He smiled at you and nodded, and you slowly let go of his arms, allowing him to take off his shirt finally.

Mingyu always knew he had a great build. He took pride in how well he took care of his body and was kind of used to people complimenting him.

But nothing prepared him for the way you were looking at him right now, like he was some god who had just materialised in front of you. As soon as his shirt was off you sucked in a deep breath, your teeth sinking into your lower lips. Your eyes flicked all over his body, pupils darkening as you took in his physique.

He had never felt so bare in front of anyone and yet, it felt really good being like this in front of you. You lifted your hand slightly and placed it in front of his chest, looking at him for permission. When he nodded a yes, you let your hand finally touch, fingers trailing gently over his toned chest.

It was like you had set his skin ablaze; he could feel where your fingers had trailed against his now warm skin. A low moan escaped his throat when you gently brushed your finger against his nipple, causing you to smirk. Fuck, you were so hot.

“You are so handsome, baby. And so, so hot.” You said, leaning down to kiss his jaw this time. Another moan escaped him as you too repeated his action, sucking on the soft skin of his neck before licking it with your tongue. Your hands that were roaming all over his body were making his skin hotter with each second, which was doing nothing to give relief to his achingly hard dick.

“Can you take these off for me too?” You asked sweetly, tugging at his belt. Though he was mildly annoyed that you had climbed off his lap, resulting in the loss of your touch, he quickly jumped off the sofa and undid his belt, shimmering out of his jeans before turning to look back at you.

Your eyes now flicked all over his body as you took in his entire appearance, and he felt his dick twitch under your gaze. Your eyes then moved up to meet his, smiling so tenderly at him that Mingyu had to sit back down to make sure he didn’t melt into a puddle then and there. You climbed back onto his lap, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Hi, love.” You whispered with a smile, bumping your nose against his.

“Hi.” Mingyu said, mirroring back your smile.

“Can I ride you?”

He found himself nodding to your question, anticipation eating away his heart as you tugged onto the band of his underwear, and he raised his hips a little as you both pulled it off. A tiny bit of relief flooded him as his hard dick sprang free, finally able to breath a little.

Mingyu watched you as you took him in with hooded eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as you brushed your thumb against his now angry red tip, already leaking with precum.

“Aren’t you- Aren’t you going to take off your clothes?” He asked and you shook your head in negative. “After some time. You’re so pretty, Gyu.” You replied, wrapping your hand around his length and giving it a gentle squeeze. He thought he could see stars as his head fell back with a groan, hips jerking up to chase your hand as you removed it.

“Don’t tease me.” He hadn’t meant it to come out as a whimper, just as a request, but right now he was so desperate for you that he didn’t care if he sounded this pathetic.

“Sorry baby.” You said, but you were smirking, clearly enjoying the power play here. And for that reason, that made him even harder (if that was even possible) for you. You raised your hip up and slipped your hand underneath your skirt to pull your panties aside.

Then slowly, you sunk down. He felt your warm and wet pussy envelope just his tip, and a groan ripped from his throat at the feeling. Your hips too stuttered as you let out a moan, pausing to take in a deep breath. Mingyu could see that you were fighting with yourself to not sink in completely from the way your nails were digging into his shoulders.

He didn’t know what came over him but he was so done with playing gentleman with you, so tired of not being able to feel you fully, so sick of keeping himself away from you that he found himself grabbing your hips and pulling you down as slowly as he could.

When you finally bottomed out, the two of you letting out a moan in unison. Mingyu’s eyes rolled back as he felt your warm walls flutter around his length, trying to adjust to the size. The erratic squeezing was not helping him keep his composure and he could already feel his balls squeezing, ready to let go any second from now.

“Mingyu.” He heard you whine, the sound shooting straight up to his brain as his eyes snapped open to look at you. You looked back at him with complete adoration, and Mingyu felt his insides melt, leaning towards you to capture your lips in his.

The kiss was short lived though; as you raised your hips slightly, before bringing it down with a slam. He broke the kiss to groan loudly against your lip as your pussy clenched around his length once more, before you swallowed his moans with another kiss.

He felt your hot tongue slip into his mouth, drowning all his moans as you raised your hips once again and brought it down. Gently, you picked up the pace, a small pressure forming in his lower abdomen.

“You’re so beautiful, do you know that?” You whispered, his moans increasing as you sucked his lower lip. “So, so beautiful and so perfect. I love you so much Mingyu.”

Mingyu felt his balls tighten at your words, the knot in his stomach growing tighter and tighter as you whispered soft praises into the skin of his neck, sucking and marking at the soft skin.

“I love you. I love you too.” He whimpered back, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You ran your hand through the strands of his hair as he clutched your waist, trying to find something to ground himself too. The coil was getting too tight, too tight for him to hold himself back and you squeezing the life out of his dick was definitely not helping the situation.

“Are you- are you close, Gyu?” You asked, and he nodded. You felt so good, just so good, with the way your warm and wet walls were pulsing around him, causing ecstasy to shoot through his veins.

But now he could feel you slowing down a bit, obviously tired from riding him. You didn’t say anything though, and Mingyu could see you were trying to live up to your promise. So instead he relaxed into the sofa a bit more, before snapping up his hips to meet you halfway.

The sound that ripped through your throat was like music to his ears and he could feel himself threatening to burst, body threatening to snap under the intensity of pressure he was feeling.

“Baby-” He gasped. “Baby, I can’t- I can’t-”

“Let go.” You choked, slamming your lips against his to steal his breath away.

And that was enough for the coil in his stomach to snap. White hot pleasure coursed through his veins as a ringing sound took over his ears, all senses hindered as he lost himself in the bliss. Another groan stumbled out of his lips as you too finally came, doubling his pleasure as you coated his cock with your warm liquid, squeezing it as though to take in all his cum.

He wrapped his arm around you more tightly so that now both of your bodies were practically one, sweat and cum mixing with each other as both of you tried to catch your breaths.

After some time, Mingyu felt you ruffle his hair lightly and he finally peeled away from you, only to look up at you. You gave him a tired smile and he felt his heart squeeze, wondering for the millionth time how he had ended up with an angel like you.

“Hi.” You giggled, brushing your nose against his as you fondly cupped his cheeks.

He felt himself melt into your touch as he smiled back, quickly pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “What just happened?”

You laughed at his question and wrapped your arms around his neck, engulfing him in your scent as he buried his face into your neck.. The two of you stayed like that for sometime, just enjoying each other’s presence as the only sound heard was your rapid heartbeats and the sound of your slightly laboured breaths.

“I love you, Mingyu. Always had.”

“Hmm?” He hummed, kissing your collar bone.

“Yeah. I realised that’s why I could never be in a happy relationship with anyone. And why they always complained that I wasn’t interested in them.” Your voice had dropped a little and he could sense your sadness, so he began rubbing soft circles on your back to calm you down. “I kept searching for you in them. I kept searching for you. And- and all this time- all this time I-”

“Shhh. It’s okay princess.” He whispered, looking up to meet your eyes. He smiled at you gently. “It’s okay princess. We are here together now, and that’s all that matters.”

You stared at him for a second, before whispering. “I hurt you.”

“You also hurt yourself, baby. But now, we can help each other out. We can pick up our broken pieces and fix them. This time, together.”

“Oh Mingoo.” You said with a soft smile. The old nickname reignited a flame in his chest, and all of a sudden, all the years he had spent with you, all the beautiful and sad memories the two of you had created together flashed before his eyes. “What did I do to get you?”

“No, what did I do to get you?”

You giggled, leaning down to kiss his chin. “Thank you for waiting for me, Gyu.”

“What happened to Mingoo?”

“I thought you hated it.”

“I could never hate anything about you or anything that you call me.”

“So…I can call you mine?”

“Okay, stop.” He groaned, and you let out a laugh. “You’re terrible at jokes.”

“God, and you think you’re very funny right?” You wiggled your eyebrows at him, as though it was a challenge.

“Of course! Do you know how many girls have come up to me at work and told me I’m so funny?”

“There are no girls at your work. Only four other guys who bully you like shit.”

“Fine, at cafes.”

“Don’t lie- Oh!” Your eyes widened in horror and Mingyu felt his stomach drop, panic seizing him. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt-”

“The concert! Your date!” You gasped, hitting him slightly on the shoulder. Then you began climbing off his lap but he caught you and moved you back, hands firmly on your waist as you struggled slightly. “Gyu, we’ll be late-”

“Oh, I don’t think we can go to the concert anyways. I’ll just text Yoobin about it.” You froze at his words, looking at him in complete surprise. “What do you mean?”

“You still have to make it up to me.”

Mingyu could see the gears turning in his head as you took in his words, before your lips broke into a smirk. “Right. Right, I do. But what about 9Muses? Aren’t they your favourite band?”

“No 9Muses can compare to me spending time with you. Besides, I can go to a million other concerts now that you are by my side.”

You laughed at his response, before asking, “Can we move to a more comfortable room then, sir?”

He felt his cock which was still inside your warm pussy stir to life once more at the nickname, and his head filled up with thoughts of how he could fill you up once again, make you feel good and make you his forever.

“Of course love. Can I- Can I ask you a question?” He asked as you got off him, nodding at his question as you tried to stand with your shaking legs. Mingyu quickly caught you before you stumbled and you wrapped your arms around him and smiled softly, almost causing him to fall instead because of just how pretty you looked. And because of just how much he loved you.

“Remember- remember our promise? To marry each other if we were still single when we are thirty? Will you- Would you-”

You cut off his statement by pressing your lips against his, but this was unlike any other of the kisses the two of you had just shared. This one was the softest, and yet the most loving kiss Mingyu had ever been given. He felt himself completely surrender to your unspoken confession, letting you glide your hand over his chest until you were cupping his chin, his own hands wrapped around your waist and back, engulfing you with his large body. A tiny realisation flickered at the back of his brain; that he was completely naked while you hadn’t taken off a single article of clothing, not even your panties, but something about your kiss made him feel safe and protected, as though being vulnerable was out of the question.

The two of your lips moved against each other ever so softly, like you had all the time in this world to make for what you had lost over the years. He could feel his heart swelling with love, and he felt his stomach drop with happiness when he felt your heartbeat racing too.

Finally, you broke apart the kiss, looking up to him with soft, tender eyes. The fairy lights behind you were giving you a soft glow, and Mingyu was sure that he had just fallen for you even more.

“Marry you?” You asked, and he found himself nodding at your question. For some reason, he was no longer scared of your rejection, and the sense of doubt vanished completely when you smiled at him softly. “Yes. Yes I will, Kim Mingyu. I’ll marry you any day and any time. I’ll marry you even if the world says no, even if the world is ending or even if we have to move far away from each other. I love you so much that I’ll marry you in a blink. You are the person I’m a thousand percent sure of. And I’ll marry you even with paper rings.”

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

2K notes · View notes

talaok · 1 year

Text

At the Met

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress! reader

summary: You and Pedro, Hollywood's hottest couple, attend the Met Gala together, but when you find out your ex was invited too, things start going sideways.

warning: angst, jealousy, age-gap

a/n: this was a request by the lovely @vawnila but since I am delusional, I decided to merge it with yesterday's event bc this man...

Pt. 2

[ "And here they come! y/n y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, Hollywood's hottest couple!"

"wow, they look amazing" ]

You'd been to the Met before, and so had Pedro, but going as a couple was something much different, especially with all the talk you two had caused in the last six months. There wasn't a magazine or a blog that wasn't talking about your age gap or the way you'd both robbed millions of women and men of the chance to be with Hollywood's most desired bachelor and bachelorette.

The past few months had been a mess, and still, you didn't think you'd ever had that much fun.

Pedro was everything you had ever wished for in a man. he was kind and sweet and funny, and not any less handsome, he was perfect.

So when he took your hands in his as you walked up the carpet, you couldn't help but smile up at him, just for him to meet your glance with the same adoration.

The carpet was the easy part though, what actually scared you, was the dinner.

Being seated next to a bunch of celebrities you didn't know... that was your personal version of hell, but at least this year Pedro was gonna be next to you.

The first part of the dinner went well, the first moments were awkward as you had expected, but then the woman sitting opposite you broke the ice and everyone seemed to relax.

Pedro sensed your tension at times and tried to soothe you by placing his hand on your thigh, or murmuring something to your ear that most times resembled something like "We're almost done, sweetheart".

It was a good table, don't get me wrong, but there was something about knowing you were being watched and filmed and photographed by the world's most popular celebrities that always prevented you from fully calming down.

You were always on edge, only waiting for something bad to happen, until finally, your fear came to life.

You had excused yourself to go to the bathroom and were finding your way through the maze made of chairs and tables arranged in the room, when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"Hey baby"

wait a minute,

you knew that voice.

You turned around, "Hi Nathan"

Of course you'd meet your ex here.

"Funny meeting you here" he grinned

"I had no idea you were coming"

"Neither did I about you, darling," he said, his eyes traveling up and down your body, not even pretending to not be checking you out "You're beautiful as ever" he complimented, his fingers tracing the side of your dress, and you just smiled, rolling your eyes playfully "really" he spoke, his voice lower "You're breathtaking, baby"

"thank you" You felt your cheeks get some involuntary color "You're not so bad yourself, you know?"

"why thank you" he joked "I wanted to find someone to have some fun with, but I think I might just have"

"Nathan..."

"What princess?"

You sighed "You can use my name y'know?"

"oh I know" he reassured "I just know how much you like when I call you names" he murmured, getting closer as he moved some hair away from your face "especially on some occasions"

"Nathan what are you d-"

"c'mon y/n you know what you mean to me," he said, his voice already resembling a beg "I'm not asking for anything, I'm just saying you know we could have fun... like the old times"

"Nathan I-"

"y/n I love you" he confessed, not for the first time since the breakup "You know I love you. I love you so much I can't live without you. This past year has been hell, and I know it's been the same for you. I need you y/n, and you need me, baby, we need each other." he spoke seemingly without taking a single breath, and you were frantically looking around you, praying no one was paying you two any mind "and I know you love me back, just admit it, we could start all over again, just forget all about the past" he implored.

"Nathan I have a boyfriend" you spat out

"who, that grandpa?" he mocked "I know you don't love him, he's just a-a phase, you know you should be with me. Deep down you know"

You hadn't noticed how his hand had made its way to your arm.

"Let's go now, we can take my car and run away baby"

Your mouth gaped open but before you could speak, a barking voice intervened.

"go where?"

Your eyes traveled to your left, and just as you suspected, they met Pedro's.

Nathan, like the coward that he was, swallowed nervously as he looked back at you.

"nowhere," you said "Don't worry babe" you tried being casual, as you took a step toward your boyfriend, feeling grateful for a way out of that situation "Well it was nice seeing you Nathan, but I better go now," you forced a polite smile at him, as you intertwined your arm with your boyfriend's.

"goodbye buddy," Pedro said, in a more than slightly threatening tone.

"c'mon," you urged him, starting to walk away.

"think about what I said" Nathan spoke again, his tone deprived of all bravery all of a sudden.

You didn't even look back, just started to quicken your pace towards the table (Your need to use the bathroom had been long forgotten) when you felt Pedro tightening his arm's grip as he moved you into the trajectory of a private part of the gallery.

You frowned, once he stopped, looking around at the empty room.

"what is it?"

"What is it?" he repeated, clearly incredulous

"What?"

"What did he tell you?"

"Who"

"y/n..."

"Nathan?" you asked "Babe who cares, you know how he is, he's dumb, there's nothing I can do about it"

"tell me what he told you" you could see perfectly through this calm act.

You sighed "he told me he loves me and that I should run away with him"

"that's it?"

"Yes Pedro, that's it"

"What did you say?"

You gasped, offended and slightly annoyed "What do you think I told him, that I loved him back and to wait for me outside?!"

"What did you tell him?"

"Are you fuckin- I told him that I have a boyfriend"

He nodded perhaps satisfied "He was touching you"

"my arm" you reminded him.

"and your cheek" he reminded you too "this is the last time he does this" he decided "I'm gonna go talk to him"

"No, Pedro-" you grabbed his arm "I can deal with this on my own, plus, you're too mad, you can't go now"

"You've already dealt with this on your own, and it doesn't seem like you've made much progress"

You gasped, now actually mad "This is my problem, Pedro, you don't have anything to do with it"

"It's my problem too when it involves you"

"no, it's not."

"y/n I'm trying to help you"

"well I don't want your help, not with this"

"Why? 'cause it sure looks like you need it"

You scowled at him "fuck you"

"It's the truth y/n this guy's been bothering you since before we got together, that's not fucking normal"

"I know it isn't but I'm dealing with it in my own way"

"and I can't try my way?"

"well, I'm sorry if I don't want you to go out there and punch him, Pedro!"

He paused, clearly as a part of him wanted to reply that he wouldn't have, another part informed him that there was a high probability he would have, in fact, punched the guy.

"y/n-"

"no you know what, I'm tired of this- this thing you do. I don't need to be saved, I can take care of myself"

"I don't doubt that, but I just wanted to help"

"you know you were not gonna help Pedro" You shot him a look "And I'm tired of this- jealousy" you sighed "I love you, Pedro, you know that, but if you don't trust me I don't understand how we could possibly have a relationship"

"I do trust you"

"then I could go out there and talk to Nathan right now?" you challenged "or you fear he might convince me, and I might run away with him?"

His jaw twitched.

"see" you breathed "just as I predicted"

" y/n-"he tried putting his hands on your waist but you stopped him.

"no, Pedro" you took a step back "Just-" you sighed "I need to be alone"

[ "Someone's coming out, it looks like... Pedro Pascal has just left the Gala"

"Where's the missus?"

"I don't see her"

"well you heard it here first folks, It looks like Pedro Pascal has just left the Met Gala with y/n y/l/n nowhere in sight" ]

Pt. 2

2K notes · View notes

blissfulbarbie · 6 months

Text

I Hope You're Happy / Joel Miller x Reader

Description: Joel breaks up with you, thinking that he's setting you free to chase your dreams. And you do. And he gets another girl pregnant. And you meet each other in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. And you hope the other is happy. But you're not. You're both not.

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: Angst angst angst. No outbreak AU.

Deep down, you knew this day would come. What did you expect, dating someone 10 years older than you? You just didn’t think it would come this soon. Or that it would hurt this much.

As you sat there in the dimly lit living room, the weight of Joel's words hung heavily in the air. It had been a typical evening, sharing a meal and telling each other about your day, but something felt different tonight. The air seemed heavy with tension and Joel’s smiles didn’t really reach his eyes, betraying an inner turmoil that you hadn't seen before.

"Listen," he began, his voice tinged with regret, "I’ve been thinking a lot about something."

You felt a knot tightening in your stomach as you nodded, prompting him to continue.

Joel stared at the floor, avoiding your gaze. "I love you. So much. More than I ever thought I could love someone. But, I can't keep pretending that I can give you everything you deserve. I'm 35, and I've lived a life that's... complicated. I don't want to tie you down, especially when you have so much of the world left to explore."

You tried to understand his perspective. Tried to see where he was coming from but all you could think was, Why now? Why now when I’ve already fallen in love with you?

"I don't want you to look back one day and regret being with me," he continued, his voice gentle as he clasps both of your hands in his. "I couldn’t live with myself if one day you look at me and all I’d see is regret in your eyes. I want you to experience the world, to find your own path. I know you'll go on to do amazing things, and I don't want to be the reason you didn't." His eyes glimmered with tears.

“And what about what I want?” You stared back at him, defiant. “What if I want to be here with you?”

He smiled softly and shook his head. “You know, I could be selfish and keep you here with me. But what can you achieve in this town, really? You had such big dreams when we met, remember? Don’t think I forgot.”

He was right. You passed on a few big job opportunities in New York when you settled down with Joel, and you kept telling yourself you’d apply next week, which became next month, next year, until it never happened. Suddenly a fancy job and new apartment in the Big Apple didn’t seem appealing anymore. Not when you had Joel.

“Dreams change.” was all you managed to get out before your throat started to tighten and you felt the prickling of tears in your eyes.

Joel pulled you in for a hug and buried his face in your shoulder. “Don’t change them for me. Never for me.”

Deep down, you knew you had to go. Not because you wanted to, but because you knew Joel would never forgive himself if you didn’t. It was ironic and so painfully stupid that it hurt - he thought this breakup would help you and you went through with it to help him.

So there you went. You packed your bags and you were out of there in less than a week. You moved in with a friend in New York for a couple of months until you secured a stable job and an apartment. You followed Joel's advice, exploring the world, pursuing your dreams, and building a life that was uniquely your own. You missed him more than you cared to admit, but you knew that his intentions had been pure, and in a way, it did benefit you.

You have proper savings now, and you are a fully independent adult, carving your way painfully through a year of hard work, job searches, apartment hunting - all while navigating a broken heart. And while you love your new life, late at night in the dark of your fancy new apartment overlooking the city skyline, you often found yourself thinking, was it all worth it?

But you shake your head out of the daze eventually. Because if it isn’t worth it then all the pain and all the tears were for nothing. So you had to love this life. Forced yourself to love it because that’s what Joel wanted for you. Joel. Even now, you still live for Joel.

Until you didn’t. Your fingers freeze on your phone as you read the caption on Cassie’s new instagram post with a man who looks all too familiar.

Excited to welcome a new chapter into our lives. 👶❤️

Your stomach sinks. Your phone drops to the bed. And tears sting your eyes. No. It can’t be. You pick up the phone again and there he is. Your Joel, messy hair as if he just rolled out of bed and his scruffy beard. Smiling at Cassie who’s holding a picture of an ultrasound. CASSIE? And JOEL?

You try to think back to every interaction they had during the course of your relationship but it had never been more than polite small talk at neighbourhood gatherings or run-ins at the grocery store. Wasn’t she married? Fuck this. You double tap the picture, giving it a “like”. This will give them something to talk about, you think spitefully. He wanted me to move on with my life? Well this is me, moved on. As you throw your phone to the other side of the bed, the pain finally sinks in and you cry into your pillow, wondering if you truly, will ever move on.

In the years that pass, you try to distract yourself with work and your new friendships. On paper, your life in New York was going swimmingly well and you had even dated a couple of nice guys. Dating still gives you a little twinge in the heart but you ignore it for the most part. People would kill for the life you have and you will NOT be ungrateful about it.

But of course, life is never that simple. Just when you think you’re able to find happiness, you get thrown a curveball. And this curveball came in the form of Joel Miller, standing in the cereal aisle of your local grocery store. He’s older, grayer, but damn him, he still looks so fucking good. You stand there staring for a moment, while he examines the box of Cap’n Crunch. As he puts the box back down and glances up, he meets your eyes and you hate this cliche, but you swear to God, time stands still.

He whispers your name, almost in disbelief as his brows furrow. “Hey. Wow.”

“Hey.”

“You… How are you?”

“I’m good. Yourself?”

“Yeah great.”

Somehow this exchange cuts you deeper than the day he broke up with you. When did you become people who could barely speak 3 words to each other?

Trying to alleviate the clenching of your heart, you speak up. “What are you doing here? This is the last place I thought I’d ever run into you.”

He chuckles softly. “Yeah, I uh.. Tommy’s up here meeting a couple of friends and asked me to tag along. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out by the way, I should have texted when I knew we were heading –”

You cut him off, not wanting to hear lies. “No, that’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to. You must be busy now anyways with the kid.”

His eyes soften at that, guilt and pain flashing through them but you push on. “It’s fine, really. You’re not obligated to tell me these things. I just saw on Cassie’s instagram. Is she here too?”

At that, he visibly stiffens and clears his throat as he replies, “Oh, Cassie and I aren’t together anymore. Well we were never.. But we kind of.. Yeah she’s not in the picture. It’s just me and Sarah.”

Sarah. He had a girl. A little girl. Your stomach twists and you kind of feel like throwing up so you try to find an exit. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Well, Sarah is lucky to have you. I always knew you’d make a good dad.”

He smiles for the first time in this conversation. “Truthfully, I have no idea what I’m doing half the time but she’s a good kid.”

Enough. Enough. Enough. “Well, it was nice meeting you again Joel, and I’m glad you’re doing well–”

“No, wait. Can we talk, please? I.. I’ve missed you. I want to talk.” Joel steps towards you as if to stop you from leaving but then holds himself back.

“I don’t think we have anything much to say to each other anymore, Joel, don’t you think?” You chuckle a little to mask the overwhelming urge to cry.

“I just want to know how you’re doing.” He looks at the ground, like a puppy scolded by his owner and you know you can’t resist the floodgates that pour out. You take a deep breath and let it all out in one exhale.

“Fine. You want to know? I’m doing great, just as you said I would. I make a ridiculous amount of money every year, I have a fancy apartment that overlooks the city, I have nice friends and a good life. It’s everything you wanted for me.”

“You deserve it. I knew you would.” He says, nodding with a sad smile.

“So why don’t I feel happy yet?” You can’t believe it but you actually start to cry. Here in the middle of the damn cereal aisle in front of your ex-boyfriend.

He stands stunned for a moment, his eyes concerned and brows furrowed. He eventually steps fully in front of you this time. His hands hesitate, as if he doesn't know where to put them, until he settles for your shoulders. “I’m sorry. I thought.. I thought you would be–”

You bat his hands off your shoulders. “Yeah, you did. But it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done and we’ll never get it back. Any of it.”

He says your name, pleadingly.

“No, I don’t blame you. I left, didn't I? It was my decision too. I guess deep down some part of me thought I would be better off. And in a way I am. I really am. But I cannot lie to you and say that I’m happy Joel, because I’m not. And nothing will change that. Because this is my life now.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as the weight of the years of separation hangs there. “I’m not either,” he whispers.

“What?”

“I’m not.. happy. Cassie and I had a fling when I was heartbroken and dealing with our breakup. She had just gotten divorced and I was.. I was planning to ask for you back. I was prepared to get on a fucking airplane and beg on my knees until you took me back. Whether that meant moving you back home or me moving here, it didn’t matter to me. We’d make it work. I just wanted you to know that I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have decided for you.” He places his hands on your shoulders again, and you let them stay this time.

He continues, speaking quickly as if a dam has burst. “But then Cassie got pregnant. And I knew I had to make a choice. We said we’d try to raise the kid together and be a family but.. A few months after Sarah was born she just left. Literally, took off and left, and I have no idea where she went. Frankly, I don’t even care. And then I got so busy with the kid and then years passed, and I just lost the timing. What, am I just supposed to call you up 10 years after breaking up with you, telling you what a joke my life has become? How I’ve regretted every moment since you packed your bags?”

You let all of his words sink in for a while before choking out, “And what do I do with all this information now? What do you expect me to do?”

He’s tearing up and his voice rises a little as he replies, “Nothing. I don’t expect nothing. I just needed you to know that I never spent a day without thinking of you or loving you. And that I’m sorry. And that I wish you were happy, because if you were, then at least all of this bullshit would be worth it. But you’re not.”

You nod, your brain not fully able to come up with words at this point, so he continues. “If you’d told me you were happy, I would have swallowed my pride, wished you well, and walked out of this store with the knowledge that at least all this pain has finally brought you joy. But we’re both hurting now, so what does that make us?”

“Two idiots crying in the cereal aisle?” You offer with a small chuckle through your tears.

He breathes out a small laugh. “Yeah. That it does.”

A woman passing through the aisle snaps you both back to reality as you wipe your tears and gather yourselves. “It is really good to see you, Joel. And.. thank you for telling me all of it. It doesn’t change anything but I think I needed to hear it.”

He shakes his head before looking into your eyes. “You know what the sick part is? 10 years ago I told you I never wanted you to look at me with regret in your eyes. Yet here you are.”

You nod and smile sadly. There’s nothing left to say.

His gaze turns soft. “I hope you’ll be happy someday. Maybe not now, but someday.”

“Maybe. And yourself?”

“Maybe.” He replies cheekily, smiling softly. With that, he pulls you in for a hug and the familiar waft of his cologne transports you back to 10 years ago when you hugged in his living room before saying goodbye, when you used to cuddle together so close at night, when he used to hug you before leaving for work. Your memories together flash before your eyes like a sick Hallmark movie except this time you know the ending.

You feel the press of his lips against your head and you swear you hear him whisper the words “I love you” but you can’t be sure because your heart is pounding and you can feel it in your ears. Your life from this point on will always be divided into before and after. The point where you know, you just know, the choice you made is irreversible. You will never have Joel Miller ever again.

As you pull away, you both tearfully smile and look at each other for the last time. You spend a good minute just looking, memorizing the other’s face. You both don’t bother with the polite pleasantries of promising to keep in touch because you know that would be a lie. It would be too painful. This is your fate now.

You walk past each other, leaving your memories and feelings behind in the dust of your footprints. To passersby, you look like strangers. Passing each other in the cereal aisle, meeting for a moment and then never again. And maybe that’s what you are now. Strangers, destined to be in each other’s lives for a moment, and then never again.

Joel eventually goes back home to Austin, and you stay in your beautiful apartment which seems to be mocking you with how big and yet empty it feels.

Joel looks at his daughter and wonders what it would be like if this kid was yours, and you stare at your phone, a message from your new date asking you to confirm a meeting time flashing on your screen.

Joel wonders what life would be like if you’d stayed. You wonder the same thing.

Tag list: @just-some-random-blogger @joeldjarin @pattwtf

#joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #joel miller oneshot #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel miller x reader angst #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic

1K notes · View notes

rinbowaman · 7 months

Text

"Turn Around..."

One shot fic. (Not relating to any of the established series.) This is a bit different from what I normally draft up, kind of like the Robin Hood one shot, which is also a non-yandere fic like this one. Pls enjoy.

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories and drabbles. To show your support, please consider donating into my ko-fi account ♥️

Warnings: Unprotected smut, breakup, lovers reunited, makeup sex, rough sex, a little bit of angst, taken for granted, apologetic make lead, regretful male lead, and drama. "Dont know what you got till it's gone" type vibe. not proofread but figured i'd get this out to keep yall busy until i get the next chapter of TO out 😉

Summary: You and Heeseung had a break up, despite all that has happened, you find out that you weren't the only one hurting.

“Hey.” he stands calmly at the door. You avoid making eye contact, too nervous and shy on what to say. A bit of a ridiculous notion considering you knew the man very well, dated for quite some time in fact, yet the lack of his efforts drove you to the point where you had to kill off the relationship, for our own happiness. The only issue was, that you’re not sure if you’re any happier now than you were when dating him. Nodding, you respond back with a soft “hey…”

Walking in, his initiative causes you to walk back. He lets himself in and gently shuts the door behind, never breaking his sight away from you. You kept shifting your sight from one area on the floor, to another. He continues to take his steps forward, and you keep taking them back. Soon, he has you pinned against the wall. Palming the wall, one hand off to each side, he traps you in his arms and leans in, wanting to get closer. You dip down and swoop under his arm to get away freely into the open space, walking over to the living room, much to his grimace dismay.

Sitting on one end of the couch, you cross your legs and prop your hands up to rest your chin. Intent on avoiding eye contact, you look away and kept your face in the opposite direction. He walks over calmly and sits next to you.

“Y/n….”

“Heeseung stop. Could you please just get your things and go? I’m not in the mood to talk.” you snap, rubbing your temples as you adjust your body to shift up and away, standing before the tall window, waiting for him to move along and to get out. But he doesn't.

Looking up from where you were just sitting, he remains on the couch wide eyed and slightly appalled. Sure, he went along with the break up, even dabbled and went on some dates even though you both had just broken up merely two weeks ago. However, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurting either. He only went and saw other girls just to try and take his mind off of you, but how are you supposed to know? He left you no choice, you didn’t ever see your relationship coming to an end. You worked and tried to get through to him, but he never listened, so then you were left with no choice but to break things off, yet you couldn’t help but feel stabbed when his nonchalant attitude and response to your initiation was given, almost too easily, as if he was thinking about breaking up himself.

Seeing you standing in that silk camisole dress, lazily covered with the matching satin short robe over it, had him feeling some type of way. How long has it been since he saw you like this? No makeup, hair laying freely and barely dressed. You looked so beautiful, stunning in fact, and yet your body language and attitude made you achievable for him to grab hold on. Did he really lose you for good?

“Y/N…” he tries once more, keeping a respectable distance away, so as to not add any fuel to the fire. “Can’t we just talk?”

That did it for you. NOW, he wants to talk? Now? After seeing a handful of girls, pretending like you no longer mattered after you presented him with the words “I’m not sure if this is working out…I wished you would just be more considerate, yet you just always put me off to the side. Maybe we should consider a brea–”

Remember the tone he had in his voice, he cut you off and finished your sentence, almost as if he was eager and looking forward to the word…as if he was taking your initiation as an opportunity to end everything without having to do the dirty work himself. “Break? Yeah sure, I think that would be good for us.” he told you. Never once trying to figure out the meaning behind your initiative, nor did he ever try to fight for you. But now, it seems he had a change of heart, but you weren’t wanting to hear any of it. Not after having a string of girls by his side the last few nights. What were you? A rebound? Were you just a safety net since it didn’t work out with those girls? What is this?

Turning away, you snapped in a harsh tone. “No!”

“What?” His voice was a little more firm, and he seemed a bit irritated by your attitude.

“I said no. I don't want to talk.”

“Why are you–” he pauses. “Y/n…you act like you’re the only one that is affected by all this. You’re not. I’m struggling too, you know.”

“Yeah, I can tell. You’re hurting so much, how many girls did you seek out for comfort? Five? We’ve only broken up two weeks ago and you never once wanted to talk, until now.”

Standing from his seat, he grew offended by your words and replaced his soft and gentle gaze with a more stern and harsh one. Walking over to you, he nearly traps you in as he breaches your personal space and begins to walk you back to the wall, again.

“What? You think those girls meant something? Seriously?”

“Are you kidding me? Don’t pretend you’re hurting, you nearly jumped for joy when I brought up the idea of taking a break. You think I don’t know? Get over yourself Heeseung!” Turning sharply, you try to get away from him, but his movements are quick and he restricts your fleeing attempts by hugging you from behind. You struggle and try to break free, yet the moment he pushes forward with you grasped in his arms, shoving you up against the wall chest first and his chin resting on your shoulder, burying his face in your neck, you begin to falter, but mentally maintain your resistance. Taming you, he senses your physical strength decreasing front he struggles, and continues to push you in, resting you on the flat surface as he closes the distance between your backside and his chest. Stroking his thumb, he caresses your waist as he hugs tightly. With small brush strokes of his lip, he softly pecks on the soft area of your neckline.

“Stop…” You whimper out, trying to ignore the beautiful sensation of how his lips felt gently kissing, and sucking on your skin. “Stop…please….get away…”

“You really want me to get away?” he mumbles, with a mouth full of your delicate skin in his mouth. “Then say it. Tell me in all sincerity that you want me to stop and I’ll leave.”

With your arms pinned to your body by his embrace, you reach up and lean your palms against the wall, pressing your body against his. You tilt your head back, resting it against his shoulder, you didn’t want him to stop, nor did you want him to leave. But you had to be strong, for the sake of mending your broken heart. So, with a shaky breath, you whined out.

“Get away…” you nearly whispered, your hair draping over your face and your robe coming undone, bearing the nakedness of your shoulders and cleavage. “Just…get away…”

A slight pause was present, before he leans in and resumes his efforts as he takes in a mouthful of your soft skin, just below your ear, this time he was less gentle and more rough in his manners.

“I said no….” you whimpered. His arms tightened around your arms and waist, and he slightly lifts you before shoving you further up against the wall, pressing your cheek to rest against the surface before whispering in your ear…

“I don't believe you.”

Shooting his hand around, he lifts the hem of your camisole up and fingers his way through panties. He called you out on your bluff and you didn’t seem to mind, because now you get to show how much you missed him, that you didn’t want to leave. You get to show him that you were hurting, and that he left you without any options or hope to continue forward, that you were just at the lowest part of your life. He knew it too. He wasn’t being his best self with you, in fact he was selfish and led you with so many false promises, it’s no wonder you proposed a break up. It didn’t hit him until you started to usher out those words, but before you could finish, he beat you to the punch, all because he saved himself from the heartbreak of hearing you say it, so he had to say it first. Figuring he would save himself by hurting you, then to be hurt directly, he found that it was all for nothing. Right after walking away and leaving you to go on your own, a sharp pain hits him inside, and he immediately regrets it. He regretted going with the flow, and letting you go so easily. Fact is, he turned around, wanting to run back after you, but seeing your backside facing him, walking in the opposite direction without so much as a glance back over to him, compelled him to look the other way and to move forward, after all, it seemed you had no trouble doing just that.

Taking your hand, he intertwined his fingers with your own, his kisses became more passionate and his embrace became tighter as his hands roamed. God he missed you. He missed how your body felt against his, and how your skin tasted. He missed how you sounded when he kissed that one little spot on your neck, and how your body shakes when he touches you. He missed you too much.

“Tell me you don’t want me to leave this time….tell me we belong…tell me…so I can do what I’ve really been wanting to do for the last two weeks…with the one woman I’ve been wanting. Tell me baby…”

Softly sobbing, you whimpered and gasped out, immediately trying to catch your breath as you cried out your words.

“I never wanted it to end in the first place…”

Peeling his head back, he stood slightly shocked at your words. Before he could ask questions, you finally let it all out. It was long overdue, and the most painful sense of release you ever felt.

“Why couldn’t you just have turned around?....I stood…watching you walk away. I mentally begged for you to turn around and come back…but you just kept moving on…you left me crying….and I just had no choice but to finally do the same….you didn’t come back. What was I supposed to do? Stand and wait in that spot forever? And those girls?....I just knew…you didn’t care….”

Your words hit deep and cut a wound that may never heal. He had no idea that you waited. He did turn back but he was too late…probably by mere seconds. The image he recalls of you walking away, was imagined with you displaying a calm and tranquil look on your face. Now, he understands that you made your way back home in tears that night, and longed for him to come back to you.

He gulps. In a single brief moment, your entire relationship flashes before his eyes, and he realizes that not only did he not give you his best during, but he didn’t give it to you after. Yeah, he tried to get his mind off you by going on dates, but how were you supposed to know that? He started to think how his behavior must have looked to you…how hurtful it must have been to hear about his rendezvous while you were sitting here longing for him to come back. But what killed him in all of this was that, had he just been less attentive towards his friends and set his priorities straight, none of this would have happened. How many times did he come home and skip eating the dinner you prepared, all because he decided to eat with the guys after work. Or whenever you asked to spend time with him, and he promised you he would have another day, one where he didn’t have plans, yet that day never came. How many times did he wake up, shower, and quickly breezed through the kitchen and sees that you prepared breakfast for him, yet instead of sitting and eating with you, thanking you for taking the time to feed him, he picks bits and pieces off his plate and heads out while jutting out the words “see ya!” and quickly leaves so he could be the first in line at the coffee shop…that coffee shop…the coffee shop you loved yet he never took you with. He knew your favorite order yet never brought you back anything. He was always so focused in grabbing his drink and heading to work, where he could spend nearly the entire day chilling out with the guys doing what they love, spending a great deal of overtime, before finally calling it a night. How many times did he have the opportunity to come back home, especially after seeing all his friends dipping out to go back to their loved ones that were waiting for them…and yet he stayed back, opting to hit up buddies who were single and could spare the time, instead of coming back home to you. How many times did he come back home so late at night, finding you already asleep. How many times did he crawl into bed with you, and instead of hugging you and kissing you, he turns the opposite direction and falls asleep, leaving you to not only feel lonesome during the day when you’re awake, but at night when you’re asleep too. Just how many times…did he take you for granted?

He didn’t have any words. He felt hurt…he felt a great deal of pain, and it was nothing that you did, you were great…you were perfect in fact. The one that hurt him was himself.

Remaining silent, he leans back into your neck. Shoving his lips against your ear, feeling the shrug of your shoulders as the oversensitive sensation of feeling his lips pressed against you was immense and triggered potent arousal. Whispering, he merely tells you “I’m sorry…”

His soft whisper made you cry even more. Feeling you shake as you sobbed harder, he holds on tightly and kisses you on that soft spot again…and again….and again. Until your sobs turned into moans. Sucking on your neck, he reaches up and grabs onto your throat, gently but firmly holding on as he pulls your hips back. His free arm hugs your waist and tugs onto you, while his grab around your neck keeps your face and chest close to the wall. Pressing his groin against your derriere, he takes in a large whiff of your scent, that subtly sweet perfume that he liked so much…he missed it. The one thing he grew complacent in taking in daily, yet the moment he thought he lost it forever, he realized it was the most beloved scent produced in this world. The feel of your touch, your skin, hair, and your soft lips, was something he didn’t realize how much he loved. It had been longer than two weeks since he last felt you, growing too comfortable and spending more time away from you throughout the course of your relationship, it had been a while since you both were last intimate. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or cared, he just didn't have his priorities straight. He just always thought that no matter what, you were always going to be around for whenever he needed or wanted you. But when was that? When did he express how much he needed or wanted you? When did he last make you feel appreciated and desired? More importantly, when was the last time he made himself available to you? Knowing that you wanted and needed him, yet he never was there for you.

“God…I’m such a fucking idiot…” he hums out with a mouthful of your skin sucked in to his mouth. Lifting you once more, he flings you over and softly lands you on the couch, laying atop your backside as you rest on your stomach and chest. “He–Heeseung…”

“Why was I so fucking blind…” his words gasped out in a near whisper, it was gentle and calm, yet the manner of his physical touch was the exact opposite. Nearly ripping off your dress, the straps snap loose as he roughly pulls it down, and tears your panties off. Hanging by the bits of thread and pieces of fabric, it loosely hangs on your thigh while he smooths his hands over the softness of your smooth skin, grabbing onto your cheeks firmly as he squeezes your derriere.

“Why did I not see what was in front of me?” Leaning forward, he places his lips on your back shoulder, and sucks on various regions. Firmly holding onto your waist, he fishes out his stiff member and rides it in between your cheeks, squeezing it to nestle in between as he strokes it up and down. “How could I not see that I had the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” Taking a hold on the back of your neck, he slowly feeds himself inside your cavity, pressing in. You weren’t entirely ready, and the lack of prepping made it hard for you to take him in, not to mention it had been so long. Yet his eager desire to have you made him impatient, he needed you now…he wanted you…he wanted to please himself but also, to please his queen.

“Why did I not show you just how much you mean to me….why didn’t i do it sooner?” Thrusting in hard, his groin smacks against the soft plumpness of your cheeks, you screamed out as he rams himself in, reaching the depths of your gut as he pushes through all of your stagnant walls. Fully in, he pauses before continuing. He had to take a moment to enjoy the feeling of burying his cock deep inside you….after missing out for so long.

“Why wasn’t I better for you?” Sliding out, his tip breaches its exit, providing you with some relief as you catch your breath, only for him to shove it back in with fierce momentum. “He–Heeseung!” Gripping onto the sofa cushion, you brace through the pressure of pain and pleasure as he roughs up your womanhood. He was being so demanding with the way he was thrusting, yet his words were so beautifully spoken with genuine sincerity and sympathy. He truly was sorry, and now, he wanted to show it, even if it meant he had to mix his love with fucking you into pieces.

“Why didn’t I tell you how I’ve felt all this time?” Thrusting, he jolts forward and bucks his hips, causing your body to rumble and shoot forward, only to be retracted back as he pulls you in, all to repeat his performance in jutting his cock back into you deeply, shiting your body forward.

“Why wasn’t I home often?” Thrusting and pumping his cock fiercely, you felt the sting of his thickness tearing you open. It had been too long, your body nearly forgot what it felt like to have someone, much less him, pelting you with their girth. Even though you were devotedly waiting for him, and yearned for him, he left you empty and unfulfilled so many nights, and you spent each evening alone and drifting off into a dream where you weren’t sleeping lonesomely on an empty bed. Now, he was here, and for the first time in so long, he was not only making love, but he was fucking you like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to take it easy, or slow, he wanted to go in deep and hard. He wanted his performance to match the ferocity of his love and yearning for you.

“Why did I let you sleep alone all those nights? I should have been there to kiss you to sleep.” Deepening his thrust, the curved edge of his lengthy member hits your sweet spot. Soon, there was no pain, only the pressure of pleasure and ecstasy.

“I should have touched you more.” increasing speed, he forces the moisture of your secreted fluids to squelch in and out. Your body gushes out, you could feel yourself releasing the warm liquid your body was producing, seeping out, and glazing his cock as he continues to fuck you.

“I should have loved you harder.” Grabbing onto both sides of your waist, he pumps his cock in and out, faster and faster as he holds you steady.

“I should have been better. I should have been so much better.” Slapping into you, his groin and thighs stains your skin red as he continues to slam himself in, going deeper and deeper.

“I should have….fuck….baby you feel so good…I should have…I should have….”

“Heeseung!! Ugh!” He continues with his pace as you reach behind and smack your hands over his, digging your fingers onto his wrists as you feel the snap in your gut release the high of your orgasm.

“Fuck baby….you’re making me cum…..”

Your body shakes uncontrollably and you scream out his name, which transitions into tiresome whimpers as you catch your breath. All the while he slows down, going in deep and slow, passionately slow. Admiring the view of his length smoothing in and out of your womanhood, he savors the feeling of releasing every bit of love, anger, sadness, and regret into you. Still thrusting, his thumbs stroke your skin and he bids you to answer.

“Tell me you missed me…”

“....I missed you…”

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you…”

“Tell me you need me.”

“I need you.”

“Now tell me you love me….”

“....I love you….”

Leaning in, he rests his weight on top of you as he tenderly kisses your cheek. His cock remains buried in, and goes in deeper as he propels forward and lays atop your body. “Then turn around…and don’t let me go. I’ll do the same.”

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

513 notes · View notes

persphonesorchid · 6 months

Text

Orbiting Jupiter - KNJ

Summary: Namjoon has never met someone like you in a long time. Jupiter to his Ganymede; he's stuck in your orbit.

Warnings: Lots of anxiety on Namjoon's part, mentions of being stalked, Namjoon hurts himself more than anything bc he's clumsy. Smut (Minors begone.): Unprotected sex, mutual masterbation, light spit play, Namjoon's daddy kink is a brief topic of interest lol. I think that's all, let me know if i missed any!

Word count: 13.4k

Genre: Idolverse, strangers to lovers, fluff, a bit of angst (it's not much, promise :)) Smut

Notes: FINALLY FINISHED!! This would have been out a whole lot sooner, but i've been dealing with life, stress, a breakup...more stress lol. But it's all good now! I really hope you guys enjoy this, and please leave feedback, even if it's just a little smiley face in the comments! Have a good day!!

Masterlist

Namjoon is dressed casually enough, he thinks. Inconspicuously enough that he won’t be recognized, enough that he could become another face in the crowd; enough to blend in.

It’s early, but the city is bustling with people starting their day. He tries not to be suspicious, as much as he could. Tries to navigate a city he’s been in many times before like he’s lived there his whole life. He tries not to look over his shoulder too much, guard up, like he’s just waiting for someone to run up to him and demand his attention. The mask and hat he picked out before he sneaked out of his hotel room brought him little comfort. He hopes that no one would give him a second glance or look too closely.

To this day he’d never understand how his fans can tell him apart by the way he walks, or by his eyes alone. So, he keeps his head down, hands in his pockets, and tries not to think too much about his stride.

He’s not sure what he’s looking for, what he’s doing out of his hotel room so early. He has no schedule today, free to do what he likes, and he just needed to get out for a minute or two. He wasn’t planning on straying too far, especially since he’s told no one that he was leaving. He found himself just walking, though, enjoying the sights and the people leading simple lives.

He finds a little café after walking some more, and stands outside it, out of the way of the door to avoid being an issue. It’s crowded inside, and anxiety curls in his stomach as he contemplates going in. He believes no one would recognize him, he hopes that no one would look too long, and he steps inside.

It’s a bit quieter than he expected, people talking in low murmurs amongst themselves. The loudest things being the sound of a coffee grinder running and a barista calling someone for their order. It’s a small café, more dining space than workspace, and Namjoon wanders over to the resister and orders without issue.

His eyes trail over the other patrons, everyone absorbed in their own worlds and conversations. The table he eyes quickly gets taken while he collects his iced Americano and he sighs softly, despite the amount of people in, he doesn’t want to leave yet, and the only available spot to sit comes with another person. Namjoon weighs his options. He could go outside, find a little park to sit in and drink his coffee, or he could risk it here, where someone has yet to pay him any mind. It’s been so long since he’s been able to walk freely, he knows he’ll miss it when he goes back through the front door.

So, with cautious steps, he walks over to the table with the only available seat.

“Excuse me...” Namjoon softly calls, briefly contemplating on tapping your shoulder; you’re reading a book, and he knows well how easily one can get lost in those. You look up though, the tiny furrow between your brows gives way to your confusion, as well as the little humming sound you make. “Sorry...do you mind if I...”

Namjoon motions to the chair across from you, and you look at it and then back to him for a few seconds before realization blooms in your eyes.

“Oh! No, of course...just...go ahead.” Your smile is pretty, Namjoon notes, and he realizes, as he thanks you and sits, that you recognize him. You stare at him in a knowing kind of way, and before Namjoon can up and leave, you simply smile the way you had before, as though he was any other stranger wanting to share your table. He watches with bated breath, trying to stay calm just in case, and you just go back to reading your book.

There’s no fanfare, no freaking out and drawing attention, or asking for a photo and too invasive questions. You don’t even look at him again. The sound of you flipping the pages of your book melds into the background noise of the space, and Namjoon finds it strange. He thanks his stars, though, he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth and risk losing his head.

He relaxes when you continue to pretend he isn’t sitting in front of you, your eyes following the words on the page. There’s a tap of your fingers against the wooden tabletop, and a minute shake of your head before you close your eyes for a moment. You take an agitated breath, and Namjoon pauses the movement of him trying to get the straw underneath the bottom of his mask and watching you at the same time. He tries to peek at the cover of the book you’re reading, curious.

You shake your head again, muttering to yourself before going back to reading, your expression quickly blanks as you start back up again. Namjoon sips his coffee, for once feeling relaxed in a room full of strangers and lets his eyes trail elsewhere. Over to the little potted flowers that line the windows, or the people passing outside.

There’s a sudden squeak from you and Namjoon looks at you in time to catch the look of utter disbelief on your face. With frantic fingers you fish a bookmark from the back pages of the book before marking your spot and closing the book with a soft smack. Gently, with enough care that someone would think you’re handling glass, you place the book onto the table with a sigh and pick up your drink. You still don’t look his way, sipping at your drink with a frown and an irritated draw to your brows. Not that Namjoon is complaining, he swears he isn’t. It’s just...weird. He expected you to at least sneak a glance by now.

Curiosity should be a cardinal sin, as it’s gotten him into trouble more times than he could count, but Namjoon decides to dig his own grave anyway.

“What were you reading?” He asks, and it takes a moment, you’re clearly in your head, staring off at nothing and muttering into your drink. You look at him when his words finally break through.

“Huh? Oh...” You set your cup down, turning the book to him, “'The Desolation of Devil’s Acre'. It’s the last book of a series I’m following, and the main character is just...” You sigh through your nose, “He’s an idiot.”

You talk to him like any stranger, it almost made Namjoon think that you didn’t recognize him at all. He still sees it in your eyes, and as you’ve been adamant not to, he doesn’t address it either.

“I’d bet...” Namjoon chuckles, “If your reaction was anything to go by.”

There’s an embarrassed air about you now as you let out a soft laugh. Namjoon wants to smack himself though, he’d just told you that he’s been staring at you long enough to notice.

“Ah, yeah.” You wave a hand, “I bought it earlier...I was too excited and just got into it but Jacob is an idiot. He just makes me wanna reach in there and smack him silly.”

“Is it good?” Namjoon nods at the book, taking a moment to look at the cover. It’s black and white, a little girl sits on a black chair, a wall of photos is the backdrop, staring into the camera with big clear eyes and someone’s hand is tugging on the sleeve of the black and white chequered striped dress. It seems like a horror novel if Namjoon is being honest.

“I haven’t read much of this one yet, but the previous ones are amazing. Too bad the movie didn’t follow it correctly.” There’s an excitement in your eyes, and you seem perfectly content to rave about all the ways the movie went wrong and did the book absolutely no justice. Namjoon nods along, throwing questions at you about the books when he can, and by the time you’re done he’s laughing at something, and you are too. His iced Americano is now just an Americano that’s just slightly cold, more water than coffee, but Namjoon doesn’t mind and drinks it anyway. He still hasn’t removed his mask, but you don’t seem too bothered by it.

“It just would’ve been so much better if they’d followed the book correctly. I was so excited about the movie, and they just went and messed it up.” You sigh, taking a sip at your drink, Namjoon’s sure it’s cold by now. “You should give it a read, though...” You tilt your head at him, humming, and Namjoon tilts his head back, you can’t see it, but he smiles, the furrowing of his brows you do see.

“What?” Namjoon asks, a little amused by your sudden pause. You study him for a minute, but he’s comfortable enough in this space you’ve created that it doesn’t set off the usual alarm bells in his head. You’ve done wonders for treating him as just another person. Simply Kim Namjoon, who wandered into this small café and took the seat opposite you, and not RM of a globally recognized pop septet.

“You don’t strike me as a fantasy guy.” You say, eyes slightly narrowed.

“Oh yeah? And what do I strike you as?”

He leans forward a bit, genuinely curious, unintentionally flirty. He does his best to reel himself in, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. You take it in stride, though, despite the flush to your cheeks and the embarrassed air that lingers.

“Philosophy, poetry...maybe a bit of romance.” You finally say, smiling a bit.

Namjoon hums, leaning back into his chair, “You know a lot.” He says, but between the string of words lies the unspoken ‘You know me.’. He studies you as you study him, your face betraying no emotion.

You simply shrug, lifting your cup to your lips again, “Human decency.”

Namjoon quite likes your company, and he spends an hour more sitting opposite you, enjoying the sense of normalcy you provide. He wonders what you both look like to onlookers, like two friends who haven't seen each other in a while and are simply catching up. It feels that way for Namjoon.

He sits there until his coffee is finished and yours is too and you’ve tucked your book away and you're both talking again about anything that comes to mind. You don’t ask him about his work, but you ask about what he’s into these days, he recommends books and music he’s sure you’ve never heard of, and you do the same.

Time passes and then some more, and it's enough time for someone to realize that he’s missing. His phone vibrates against his leg right in the middle of him explaining why he thinks some things that happen in life can’t simply be chalked up to coincidences and he startles, leg jerking, knocking his knee against the underside of the table.

It rattles the empty cups topside with a dull thud and a sharp pain shooting up Namjoon’s leg, you wince with him, and he mutters a string of expletives. Rubbing a hand furiously against the offended spot, Namjoon fishes his phone from the pocket of his jeans, not bothering to check who’s calling before he answers.

“Hello?”

“Namjoon-ah, where are you?” Seokjin’s voice is a little far away and a little distracted. He suddenly yells a curse and Namjoon can only assume he’s spent his morning breaking in some new game he bought. “Sejin-nim was looking for – fuck, I hate this game – something about a briefing. You’re not in your room.”

“Ah, Hyung. I took a walk...I’m not far. Yeah – I'm coming back...Okay.” Namjoon glances at you as he pockets his phone again, smiling with his eyes.

You smile back, waving a hand, understanding as he picks up the empty take away cup and stands to leave. There’s no complaint from you, nothing in your eyes that tells of anything else. “It was nice meeting you.” You say softly, leaning forward a bit even though the chances of you being overheard by anyone else was slim.

“You too.” Namjoon says, and he means it. You’re like a diamond in a coal mine, as finding someone like you – being who he is - was rare. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, Namjoon pauses in the step he makes, faltering at your side and you look up at him curious and confused. He wars with himself for a moment, he’s certain that he’s about to do something stupid.

Something he should never do because of how dangerous it could be not only for him but his groupmates. He stares at you for a moment, long enough that it warrants your concern, and you ask if he's okay.

“Can I... Is it okay if I ask for your number?” The words come tumbling out of his mouth before he can reel them in, and he’s standing there a little mortified.

Namjoon always prides himself in being self-assured, but that same self-assurance leads him to putting his foot in his mouth sometimes and he says things without thinking first. It’s too late to pull the words back or act like he hadn’t asked because you’re blinking up at him, sitting a little straighter now in your seat.

You glance around, brows furrowed, “Are...are you sure?”

For the first time, it seems as though it just registered that you’re speaking to RM of BTS.

There’s a nervousness about you now, as you glance to the side, and Namjoon finds this strange. He’s not trying to sound like an ass thinking that many others would jump at the offer – or be bold enough to demand it first – it’s simply the truth.

He finds your consideration refreshing, though, and he waits patiently for you to make up your mind. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth and Namjoon backtracks, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Namjoon says, putting up a hand. Despite who he is in the eyes of the public; he’s still a man. A man you’ve only spoken to for a half hour who’s now asking for your number, Namjoon would think very hard about it if he were in your shoes, too.

“I don’t meet a lot of people like you, and I thought it would be nice if we spoke often, but if that’s not cool, that’s okay.”

You shake your head, “No... it’s okay. I just...Are you sure? I don’t want to put you in any difficult spots, or myself for that matter...”

You’re surprisingly calm, looking more wary than anything else, and Namjoon takes that as a good sign. “I’m sure, don’t worry.” He smiles and pulls his phone out of the pocket of his jeans; he unlocks it with a press of his thumb and hands it over to you.

You fumble a little with the device, fingers tapping at the number pads quickly before handing it back to him. He shoots you a quick text, a simple ‘Hi :”)' before he was pocketing his phone again before he was waving and making his way out the café door.

Namjoon tries his hardest to keep walking forward back down the street and not jog back over to the glass window to wave at you. That would be very weird of him.

Namjoon’s day goes on as normal, not like he was expecting anything different. A whirlwind of briefings and meetings and discussions on what would be done during his group’s free time. It's no different to any other time, but by the end of the day Namjoon’s brain feels like mush and he’s lying in bed, palms under his head as he gazes at the swirling patterns etched into the ceiling.

He sighs, it’s long, drawn out and tired. He blinks slowly, sitting up to lean against the headboard. The sun had long set and only the glow of the city lights penetrated the darkness of his hotel room through the large window.

He squints at the lights that are too far off to be anything but hovering blobs in the distance, and briefly, he wonders what you’re up to.

Oh, that’s right.

Namjoon fumbles through the mess of his sheets to find the phone he knows he tossed there somewhere. It’s nowhere near him and he stands, lifting the sheets to look. There’s a dull thud and a clatter, and with a sigh, Namjoon rounds the bed to find his phone on the floor.

He plops back on the bed, pressing the power button and inspecting the screen for cracks. There’s a flurry of notifications and emails and texts from his group mates and work, and Namjoon scrolls through his notification feed. At the bottom, he finds a text from you; a reply to the message he’d sent earlier.

‘Hi (:’

It’s cute in its simplicity, but Namjoon stares at the place where your contact information sits. Just your number and nothing else, and Namjoon comes to the realization that he didn’t ask you for your name at any point this morning.

You had responded hours ago, and had sent nothing else, and with some embarrassment, Namjoon types out a message.

Namjoon: Hey, sorry I missed your text! Busy day, you know?

He frowns at the message when it goes through, at the time stamp that reads a little past midnight. You’re probably asleep and the timing seems a little less than ordeal, a little inappropriate given the hour, but Namjoon lets out a surprised hum when the bubbles appear at the bottom.

Unknown: Hey! No worries, it’s totally okay.

Namjoon: You’re up late...

Namjoon pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, was that a weird thing to mention? He can’t help but feel like he’s blowing this somehow. Is there a right way to text someone you barely know? He shakes his head, deciding not to think too much on it.

Namjoon: Sorry, but I didn’t ask your name earlier.

Unknown: Haha, that’s okay. It’s Y/n. And yeah, I was just finishing up some work.

Namjoon contemplates his next question, nerves running amok in his tummy.

Namjoon: Can I call you? Is that okay?

The bubbles appear and disappear for a moment and Namjoon thinks he’s overstepped. It’s pushing one in the morning and Namjoon’s aware of how it may look to you, how it may look to anyone else for that matter.

Y/n: Sure, we can do that.

Namjoon sighs, looking out the window, away from his phone to give himself a moment. You too – he’s mindful of himself, of course. He taps on the call button before he could talk himself out of it.

The line rings for a couple seconds, and Namjoon thinks that maybe you’ve stepped away for a minute or perhaps this was the wrong move and he shouldn’t have asked, but you pick up before another ring could sound. It’s quiet for a second and then he hears you inhale softly.

“Hey.” Your voice sounds a little different over the phone, or maybe it's just the time and Namjoon’s mind is trying to go places it shouldn’t. You’re as calm as you were this morning in the cafe, nothing in your voice betrays your emotion.

“Hey.” Namjoon can’t help the smile, and he’s sure you heard it in his voice. “I know it’s late, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, you’re good. I had a coffee so I’ll be awake for a while again.”

Despite your words your voice sounds tired and Namjoon feels guilty, laying back against the headboard with a soft sigh.

He asks about the book you’re reading and he listens to your rambles about the chapter you finished. Then you both talk about anything that comes to mind.

“How’d your day go? You don’t have to be too specific or anything, just in general.” You murmur softly, when Namjoon’s laying down fighting to keep his eyes open because he doesn’t want to hang up yet.

“Hectic.” He answers honestly, he can hear you shuffle around, getting comfortable in your sheets. “You?”

“It was alright, I spent half the morning freaking out, really. Today felt a little dream-like. If you hadn’t texted, I probably would’ve convinced myself that I imagined the whole thing.” You chuckle, and then there was a small pause, “Sorry, I’ve been so chill about it this whole time.”

“You’re fine. Handling it better than most.” Namjoon says, “I’m glad you didn’t freak out when you met me though.”

“Human decency.” You repeat your words from earlier, and Namjoon feels a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “You’ve probably had enough of that to last you a lifetime.”

“It’s not too bad, sometimes anyway.” He says softly, halfway asleep and he’s sure you are too. Your voice is getting quieter, and Namjoon can’t keep his eyes open.

When Namjoon wakes it’s to the sun shining into his eyes and his phone is still in his palm. It’s a little after eight am when he checks, and the call had already been disconnected sometime around seven. There’s a message wishing him a good morning from you, there’s a flutter in his tummy at the little yellow heart that ends the text, and he thinks it may be a little too early for that kind of response. He can’t help it though, and he lays in bed for another few minutes and stares at it with a stupid smile on his face.

He wonders what to do with his day, now with more than enough free time on his hands to do whatever he likes and then he wonders what you were doing today. There’s an all-consuming longing for the sense of normalcy you provided within the day he’s known you, and he knows that isn’t much time to find comfort in a person, but he guesses that’s just how it is when you live like he does. However, he doesn’t want to scare you away with his need to feel something that was long lost to him, so he puts off asking you anything.

He has a few things lined up on his personal itinerary: Museum crawls and sightseeing, all of which he would do alone and hopefully without any troubles along the way. He finally decides to bite the bullet when he’s done with his breakfast and sitting at the small table in his hotel room, fiddling with his phone and his bottom lip between his teeth. You hadn’t replied to his responding text from earlier and Namjoon can only assume you’re busy, but he texts anyway.

Namjoon: Are you busy today?

He locks his phone and cleans up the table, snatching his phone up when it chimes softly, smiling already.

Y/n: Not particularly…why?

Namjoon could never distinguish tone from texts, so he’s not sure if you’re suspicious or teasing, so he replies carefully.

Namjoon: I’m doing a thing today…some sightseeing or I might go to a museum…wanna come with?

The bubbles disappear and reappear and then you’re calling.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Don’t feel obligated to either.” Is the first thing he says when he answers, just to be certain.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, I’d love to. I just need to know if it’s okay.” There’s a hesitance in your voice, a certain type of worry.

Namjoon is quick to ease, “I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t, Y/n.” He says with a chuckle.

“Ah, okay.” You laugh a little, “Oh but what about...do I have to sign an NDA?”

Namjoon pauses, he’s forgotten about that. He runs a hand through his hair, “Is that okay?”

“That’s fine.” There’s a smile in your words and Namjoon can’t help but smile back. “Where do I meet you?”

Namjoon sat across from his manager, Sejin, in his hotel room. He clears his throat, feeling a bit nervous about what he was going to ask.

“Sejin,” Namjoon begins, “there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Sejin, always attentive to Namjoon’s needs, leaned forward. “Sure, what’s on your mind, Namjoon?”

Namjoon hesitated for a moment before continuing, “There’s a friend I met recently, and I was hoping to bring her along with me when I go to the museum today.”

Sejin raises an eyebrow, his protective instincts kicking in. “A friend? Are you sure that’s a good idea, Namjoon? You know how public spaces can get, especially with a girl by your side.”

Namjoon nods, understanding Sejin’s concern. He’s well aware of how things can get, being who he is, especially in the eyes of some of his fans. “I know, Sejin. She's a good friend of mine, she won’t cause any trouble.”

Of course, Namjoon doesn’t know that for sure, but he’s willing to take the risk, and Sejin doesn't need to know he'd only met you yesterday; what he doesn't know won't kill him. One thing he’s certain of is that you’re different, and that’s something he can bet on.

Sejin contemplates for a moment, silent as he thinks before sighing. “Alright, Namjoon. I trust your judgement. But we need to take some precautions. We’ll have her sign a non-disclosure agreement to ensure our privacy and safety.”

Namjoon smiles, relieved that Sejin was willing to accommodate him. “Thank you.”

Namjoon paces in the hotel lobby an hour later, nerves making him unable to stand still for too long. He had met you just a day ago, but there’s something about you that intrigued him deeply. The way you’ve treated him like a regular person, not as the famous musician he was, is perhaps the biggest factor. He found that both fascinating and endearing.

Moments later, you walk into the lobby, looking a bit nervous yourself. You smile when you spot him, lifting your hand in a little wave. Your smile immediately puts Namjoon at ease. You’re wearing a simple dress, a backpack slung over one shoulder, walking over to him in quick steps.

“Hey.” You stop once you’re close enough, still smiling.

Namjoon smiles back, feeling a sense of relief. “Hey, Y/n Thanks for coming.”

You wave him off with a hand, looking around at the large lobby, the lights sparkling in your eyes.

Sejin is waiting at a table near the reception desk, and stands to shake your hand when Namjoon leads you over.

You take a seat and go through the formalities with him, and sign the NDA without complaint. Namjoon can’t help but feel a little worried, like he’s turning your life on its head by knowing him personally.

Namjoon watches the scenery pass by through the tinted glass of the car Sejin rented, the small talk died down as he pulled into the carpark of the museum. He leads you through the private entrance, where the manager meets you both with an enthusiastic greeting.

The museum is empty, and Namjoon catches the wonder in your eyes when he looks at you. “You rented out the whole place?”

Namjoon chuckled. “Yeah, I normally do. It’s more so for safety than anything else.”

You hum, nodding in understanding as you trail next to him. “It’s pretty cool, I’ve never been in one while it’s empty before.”

The private tour begins, and Namjoon’s knowledge and passion for art shines through as he explains the significance of each piece, trying his best to keep you entertained. You listen intently, genuine interest evident, even asking questions in between his rambling.

“You know,” You say, staring at a painting of abstract colours, “This is not at all how I imagined this to go.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, intrigued. He’s long stopped paying attention to the art that lined the walls, admiring you, mostly. “Oh? What did you imagine?”

You shrug, turning your head to look at him, a playful glint in your eye. “Well, I expected bodyguards, and a bit of running around. This is nice, though.”

Namjoon smiles, nodding, “Yeah, I would usually have someone close by, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You frown a bit, “Isn’t that dangerous though? You should have someone nearby regardless.”

“Your comfort is important.” Namjoon says, trying to keep you from worrying too much.

“Your safety is too, you know.”

“Would it make you feel better if I told you he’s right outside?” Namjoon smiles, he could see you’re ready to debunk his words with the way your eyes narrow. “Don’t worry, someone’s near, just not as near as they would be normally.”

You stare at him for a quiet moment longer, “Okay, I’ll take your word for it.”

As the both of you continued your tour, the conversation between you flowed effortlessly. Namjoon took the moment he had to know more about you. Asking about your dreams, how far you’ve gotten in that book of yours, and the places you wanted to travel to. He found you easy to talk to, allowing himself to open up to you in a way he hadn’t with many people.

Something in the back of his mind, a learned warning echoed. He really shouldn’t be, considering everything. He chooses to ignore it for now, as you ask him about his favourite pieces of art.

By the time the tour was over and Namjoon actually remembered to take photos of the art, the sun was at its zenith. He tries not to take too long touring, so the museum can at least open to the public for the rest of the day.

You’re scrolling through your phone, looking at the photos you took of the pieces that caught your attention.

“Wanna get some food? There’s a good place nearby.” Namjoon asks, tucking his phone into his jeans.

You nod, smiling, “I can eat.”

Namjoon drives you both to a diner he’d visited once or twice when he was last in this city. The diner was packed for the lunch rush and Namjoon contemplates his next move in the car.

“Oh, that’s...” You glance between him and the view of the people in the diner, “I’ll go, whatchu want?”

“I can go...” You’re already unbuckling your seat belt and leaning down to rummage through your backpack. You find your purse with a soft ‘a-ah!’, smiling at him as you right yourself and turn to him again.

“It’s alright. It’s pretty crowded... you might not be so lucky this time.” You say, “Want anything specific?”

Namjoon smiles at you, shaking his head with a small laugh, “Anything’s fine.”

You nod, opening the door, there’s a rush of warm air that disturbs the AC, and Namjoon is stopping you. “Hang on...”

He sees you shake your head as he reaches for his wallet, and you step out before he can hand you his card.

“You can get it next time.” With that you’re off, and Namjoon watches a little slack jawed as you go.

Something in his chest flips and crawls up his throat, “...next time?”

You come out of the cafe, balancing two cups of something colourful in a cardboard holder and two brown paper bags a good five minutes later. Namjoon leans over to the passenger seat to pop the door open for you, extending his arm to take the holder.

“I got you a smoothie if that’s okay,” You say once you settle, passing him one of the paper bags, “Ham, egg and cheese sandwich.”

“Smoothies are good, thank you,” The smoothie is a mix of some fruit and another he can’t put his finger on. He hums at the sweet taste, “Oh, that’s good.”

For a moment, you both quietly eat, “Thanks for inviting me to come with you. I had fun.”

“Sure you weren’t bored out of your mind?” Namjoon teases, smiling when you reach over to smack his arm lightly.

“I was not!” Your giggle rings like a bell, “I mean it.”

As the days go by and his time in this city draws nearer to an end, Namjoon tries his best to spend as much time with you as he could. He’d text and call when he can and when your time allows it, learning more about you as he went along and liking you more as he did. He felt strange for the most part, as his two-week break comes to an end and he’s packing his things away and double checking that he doesn’t forget anything or pack something that isn’t his. His phone is propped up against the bedpost, distracted from folding his clothes by the view of you coming back into the frame.

“You’ll be busy once you get back, right?” You ask, sipping juice through the straw of a juice box.

Namjoon sighs, “Yeah, I’ll try my best to keep up with you, though.”

“You don’t have to.” You wave him off with a hand, “You’re a busy guy.”

“Would you miss me?” Namjoon asks, curious, because he’ll miss you. Is it normal to feel this way about someone you’ve known for only a short while?

“Nah.”

“Ow.”

“I’m kidding.”

Namjoon rolls his suitcase behind him, taking a moment to wave at the paparazzi and the fans that litter the terminal. He grips his phone tightly in his free hand, smiling at the cameras. He’s slept a little on the plane over, and even though he’s wide awake now he knows he’ll crash later. His phone buzzes in his hold and he briefly glances at it, he texted you right before he landed, and was eagerly awaiting your response.

He waits until he’s seated in the car at the entrance, he waves one last time through the window before he rolls it right up and settles into the leather seat of the car. The silence is soothing and Namjoon watches as the people outside filter away now that he’s inside.

Y/n: Hope your flight went okay!

Namjoon studies the text for a moment, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He was a little worried, honestly. He likes you, a lot, really, but what if it was simply in passing? A fleeting moment of interest? What if it all amounts to nothing in the end all because you’re you and he’s him? It’s easier to date within your own circle, to be with people who understand the complications and compromises that come with being with someone like him. He feels as though now, with an ocean between you both, everything will simply fade away. He’s known you barely two weeks, and even though he’s let you in, and you him, Namjoon can’t help his growing anxiety at the thought. Funny it occurs to him now that he’s back home.

Namjoon: It did!

He stares out the window for a bit, watching the familiar streets zoom by and shakes his head. When was the last time he actually felt like this? Meeting people is hard enough, and meeting someone like you is even harder. He’s seen and met a lot of people over the years, over his time as RM of BTS, a lot of fans who he thought beautiful and never pursued. He knows what comes of relationships between an idol and a fan, he’s seen it happen and it’s always a disappointment to be used like that. But he doesn’t want to put you in that box, he has no right to when you’ve shown him differently. Though, he’s in his right mind to keep an eye out for tabloids and articles of the things he’s shared with you and he also feels guilty that he does. He’s only known you for a short time, something he constantly has to remind himself of when he’s thinking too hard, but that level of trust is something he’s willing to work towards with you.

Namjoon’s days blur together into the weeks as they would when he’s too busy to do anything else but what’s required of him. Meetings here and there, album preparations; work. As he promised, he tried his best to keep up with you, and even on the days where all he could do when he comes home is pass out wherever he sets himself, you text or call to make sure he’s doing okay with it all. Sometimes it’s too early for you to consider being awake or it’s late at night and you’re too tired to keep your eyes open and Namjoon could barely understand what’s coming out of your mouth.

As the weeks meld into months you both found a routine that works best, and Namjoon finds things to do with you when you’re both free at decent times. Maybe you’ll watch a movie or play games together or simply catch up on things you’ve missed.

Namjoon never really has much to tell, most of his days are filled with work and despite his reputation for spoilers, he’s trying his best to keep things under wraps. You do most of the talking, you never seem to mind it much – smiling with a certain understanding – and Namjoon is always happy to listen about what you did that day or your workplace gossip.

He’s found it impossible to get you out of his head and focus more often, thoughts of you invading his mind more than anything else.

Even now as he tries to focus on putting a track together, he’s barely with it, phone propped up against a speaker and waiting for you to get back from getting some things done. He moved from the living room to his home studio a while ago, determined to get some work done and now just sits and stares at the tracks with a frustrated frown. He squints at the screen, moving some things around and playing the same track over and over.

“Where’re your glasses?”

Namjoon glances at his phone to see you just settling back on your couch, a glass bowl of cereal in your hand. You look cute in blue jellyfish printed pajamas he hasn’t seen you in before, hair pulled up and away from your face and even through the phone screen Namjoon can see it’s still damp.

“They’re…” He thinks for a moment, “…somewhere…”

You chuckle, “You should get those thingies kids and old people put on their glasses so they won’t lose them.”

“Trying to say something?”

“I’m just saying…you either lose them or break them and you can just avoid both by getting the thing. I know contacts are annoying.”

Namjoon smiles, nodding, “Yeah, they’re a pain in the ass.” He sighs, pushing his chair away from the desk to spin around and stretch his fingers. “Isn’t it late for you?”

You put another spoonful of cereal in your mouth, turning your hand to look at your watch and hum, “It’s not that late…trying to get rid of me?”

“Never.” Namjoon smiles at your teasing tone, “Sleep is important, though.”

“Says you.” You point a finger at him, “You texted me at three am two days ago.”

“You were awake though, so…you’re losing this argument.” Namjoon laughs as you snap your mouth shut.

You point your spoon at him, “I’ll win next time.”

“Are those new? The pyjamas.” Namjoon asks, propping his chin on his hand, resigning himself to not getting any work done this morning.

“I’ve had these a while, aren’t they cute? There’s a really big jellyfish printed on the back.” You say, setting your bowl down with a soft clink of the glass against the wood of your coffee table.

“Yeah they’re…” Namjoon feels the words stall in his throat as you stand up, the bottoms of the pajamas aren’t long legged pants as he expected them to be. They end just above the middle of your thighs, and you’re giving him quite the show when you turn and come back down. The sight of the cartoonish jellyfish on the back of the top knocks Namjoon back where he’s supposed to be and he pinches the back of his hand.

When you right yourself, sitting back on the couch, Namjoon can’t stop thinking about the rest of you he can’t see.

“What’s with that look?” You ask after a moment of him just staring.

“What look?” Namjoon asks back, and for a second you simply watch him before you huff out a laugh and look away.

“You’re looking at me like you…” You start, eyes moving back to the camera before they flit away again, “Oh, my mum’s calling. I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

Namjoon laughs a bit, nodding as he waves you goodbye, “Sleep well.”

“Ah, fuck.” Namjoon grunts, the muscles of his arm strains and he tilts his head back, sweat trailing down his neck. He brings his arm up and then back down slowly, letting a breath out through his nose, “Shit.”

The music playing through his Bluetooth headphones suddenly fades out, the specific ringtone he set for you plays softly. Namjoon sets the dumbbell down on the floor, pressing a finger against the touchpad of one of the earbuds and answers.

“Hey Princess, what’s up?” He pulls at the end of his tee, fanning the cool ac air against his warm skin.

“Joon, it’s a video call.”

“Oh.” Namjoon pulls his phone from his pocket, waving at you with a smile, “Hi.” He gets off the bench he’s sitting on, propping his phone somewhere safe and sits again.

“Hi…are you – damn give me a warning, won’t you?”

Namjoon looks up at you just in time to catch you looking away, not missing the motion of you biting your bottom lip. He smirks, whether you’re aware of it or not; this is payback. He had a hard time not thinking of you in those short pyjama pants for two days, and even though this was completely unintentional, it was worth your reaction.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Namjoon smiles innocently.

You shake your head, “Anyway…guess what.” He hears the excitement in your voice rather than see as you’ve stepped out of frame and then quickly back in with a bottle of water in hand. There’s a big bright smile on your lips and you seem to be bouncing a bit in place.

“Well someone’s excited.” Namjoon chuckles and you wave at him frantically, “Okay, okay. What?”

You pout, “It’s no fun if you don’t even attempt to guess, you know?”

“There’s like, so many possibilities of my guess being wrong.” Namjoon says and you sigh dramatically.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. Killjoy.” You roll your eyes, the action playful, “I’ll be in your area around this time next week.”

It takes a full minute for Namjoon to process and he almost drops the dumbbell on his foot, “Eh?”

“Hyung…I don’t know what to do.” Namjoon whines, flopping back into the couch in Genius Lab. Seokjin pats his back as Yoongi swivels around in his chair to face him, plucking his headphones out his ears.

“That’s a good thing.” Yoongi says, standing to stretch with a groan, “But also…don’t think about it too much. Overthinking doesn’t do you any good.”

Seokjin sighs, shaking his head, “I think it’s good that she’s coming here. It’s a good way to connect, you know?”

“I know, but…”

“It’s different here, right?” Yoongi supplies, sitting back into his chair but he doesn’t turn away, “Feels like you have to run around in secret. And on top of that she isn’t in ‘our circle’, things can get overwhelming for both of you, especially her.”

Yoongi is right, as he usually was. The last thing he wanted was to have his life and the circumstances of it be too much for you to take. Namjoon told the guys about you once or twice, just in case things between you both became more serious than it is now, he didn’t want them out of the loop and have to explain later.

“I don’t want that to get in the way of a relationship should it happen…” Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, frustrated.

“Alright Joonie, Hyung is gonna explain something so listen carefully.” Seokjin lays a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder and Yoongi makes a face at the tone he uses.

“Why do you sound like you’re gonna talk to him about safe sex?”

Seokjin ignores Yoongi, turning Namjoon to face him with his other hand on the other shoulder, looking serious. “Namjoon. You’re more than your celebrity status. You’re a person with feelings and desires, just like anyone else. If you like this girl, don’t let fame be a barrier. If things get hard, do what all the other adults do; sit and talk about it.”

Namjoon nods, “Right. You’re right. Thank you, Hyung.”

“Now, imagine if I wasn’t here to look after you guys.” Seokjin pats Namjoon’s shoulder, one of his rare deep chuckles filling the brief silence. “Just take her to see all the good places, have fun and you can worry about the rest after.”

It’s a day after you arrive in Korea that Namjoon sees you.

He’s meeting you a block away from the place you’re renting for the two weeks you’ll be here. There’s a slight chill in the air as the tail-end of summer pulls the beginning of autumn, and you’ve unintentionally matched him with your dark clothes and hat. You both had been texting the night before and Namjoon promised to take you somewhere nice while you were free.

“Hi!” your greeting is cheerful, and Namjoon returns it, smiling.

“Settling in okay?” Namjoon asks as he pulls off the curb.

He is determined to make the most of every moment you both spent together, showing you all his favourite spots. You both wandered through bustling markets, sampled street food, and visited historic temples.

When the sun painted the sky with lilac and indigo and the moon chased it away, Namjoon parked his car in the carpark of an observatory. The observatory is closed of course, but there’s an event that Namjoon booked tickets for the moment he saw it. You expressed your love for the cosmos many times before, and Namjoon was more than willing to indulge you. At times he would sit and listen to you ramble on for ages, telling him any and everything.

He flashes you a dimpled smile, making sure his black mask and hat were secured before leading you to the park located at the back of the observatory. The park was a large space with sparse trees and shrubbery dotting the field, the trees are wrapped in fairy lights, which are usually on at night time but are off to allow the best view of the night sky. There are winding paths of gravel that goes every which way, and Namjoon picks the one where less people linger, leading you down it with your hand in his.

He leads you through the winding trails and the other people here for the event until he finds a clear spot where you both can sit comfortably without disturbance.

It’s a clear night, the stars twinkling in the sky above. It’s quiet between you for a moment, where you watch the sky and he’s looking at you. His heart pounds in his ears and he doesn’t know what else to do but look away when you suddenly turn.

“What?” You laugh, leaning slightly to nudge his shoulder with yours.

Namjoon laughs softly, knowing he’s definitely been caught and shakes his head, “Nothing.”

You sigh softly, wrapping your arm around his and leaning your head on his shoulder. He wonders how you both seem to people that may glance a little longer, perhaps like a pair of lovers simply enjoying the night in each other’s company.

Namjoon enters the code for his apartment door, the beep and the sound of the door unlocking is loud in the quiet hallway. He lets you enter first, sliding you a pair of house slippers before he leads you further in.

“Ah, don’t mind the mess...it’s not usually like this...” Namjoon scratches his cheek, eyes caught on the mess that is his coffee table. There’re wads of balled up paper strewn about it, lyrics he started and decided there was nothing he could do with them, his journal left open and his little green cactus pen abandoned. A stack of books on the floor that’s yet to be read.

He quickly walks over to tidy it, picking up the stray pieces of paper.

“Don’t worry about it,” You say, and Namjoon realises you’re not even paying mind to it. Attention fully stolen by the various art pieces he has hung on walls and settled into corners.

The living room of his apartment is large, and in an attempt to make it look less empty, it’s his usual place to put whatever catches his eye. Most of them are paintings, canvases filled with colours and scenery, a book shelf that holds none, instead, a display for finely crafted pottery, potted house plants and a tiny brass horse Taehyung gifted him some time ago. There are picture frames of his family, the boys and other abstract things he took himself filling the emptier spaces on the shelf.

Glass pane windows take up most of the wall on the other side of the room, giving a beautiful view of Hannam in all its glittering glory.

Namjoon makes his way into the kitchen, paper balls clutched in his hands and he asks if you want anything. You’ve wandered over to the shelf, looking at all the different pieces, telling him that water would be fine.

“These are really pretty,” you say, turning to him with genuine admiration. “Are all of them authentic?”

“Some of them are.” He says, getting a glass from his cupboard, and then quietly: “Most of those are from small local ceramists, some of them from charity auctions and things like that.”

There’s something surreal in having you a room away, and not making jokes with him through a phone screen. Namjoon finds himself a little at a loss, a lot clumsier than usual as he knocks his shin against the leg of an island stool. There’s a searing heat that climbs its way from the collar of his shirt to flush the skin of his neck and ears.

He sees the smile that curls the corner of your mouth when you glance at him, “Are you okay?”

Namjoon nudges the stool closer to the lip of the island counter – glaring at it as though it walked into his path just to spite him; he forgot it out this morning, it’s his fault really – and nods. “I’m good.”

He reaches you in three strides, passing you the glass of chilled water. You take small sips of it, and Namjoon tracks the motion of your throat as you swallow.

He gives you a little tour, telling you about the art and any little thing you ask after. Namjoon’s thrilled to share this part of his life with you.

When it got a little later, Namjoon stands in the kitchen, watching water boil because it’s the only thing you let him do. He feels a little embarrassed as you stand somewhere behind him, donned in an apron he barely uses. He’d suggested ordering in and in very you fashion, you’d asked when was the last time he had a home cooked meal. Honestly, it was a while ago, when he visited home.

You’d shook your head, listing the times he would call you while he was eating dinner and you eating breakfast and it would always be some sort of take-out.

You gracefully allow him to crack the pasta and put it in the pot, but that was the most of it.

“I won’t be explaining to anyone how you hurt yourself in here.” You say, lowering the heat under steaming tomato sauce. You’re making pasta, he thinks, as you’ve told him that your knowledge on Korean cuisine isn’t enough for you to try your hand at it.

“You wouldn’t have to, I hurt myself all the time.” Namjoon chuckles, “Can I at least help you cut those?” he motions at the small bowl of washed onions, not waiting for an answer, he pulls a knife from the holder at the corner of the island. He knows how to hold a knife without too much trouble, at least.

As you skilfully prepare dinner, the conversation between you both flow naturally. Talking about whatever comes to mind, anything and everything and laughing over stories. You both settle to eat afterwards, and Namjoon can’t stop singing your praises, he’d go halfway to say that you cook better than Seokjin…Maybe he’s just biassed.

After Namjoon washed the dishes – he swore he wouldn’t let you do anything more – you both took your drinks of bottled beers to the living room. Sitting on the couch, and a movie playing on the mounted tv that neither of you pay attention to, far too engrossed in talking to each other; the well of topics never seems to run dry. Namjoon thinks that’s nice, there’s always something to talk about with you, even if you’re just telling him workplace gossip from two weeks ago, or rambling on about a shell you found on a beach when you were nine.

“Oh shoot-” You turn your wrist to look at your watch, the glass face catching the overhead lights. You squint at the time, something Namjoon once made fun of you for, because who has analogue watches anymore? He doesn’t find it in him to laugh at you now though, as the realisation dawns on him before you can say: “It’s really late…”

He checks his own watch without much reason – thirty minutes past midnight – and he frowns, he’s kept you way later than he intended. “Shit yeah, my bad. Sorry I kept you.”

You wave a hand, smiling at him, “No, it’s okay!” You place the half empty bottle of beer on the little black coaster on the coffee table. You stare out at the city for a quiet moment, “How hard is it to catch a taxi from here?” you ask, and then, quietly to yourself: “Maybe I should call an uber…”

It takes Namjoon a fraction of a second for his mind to fumble, trying to grasp at the words uselessly before they tumble out into the air. His mouth moves faster, though, “Or you could just stay here?”

He blinks at you and you blink back, the words hanging in the air long enough that Namjoon wishes that the floor would open up and swallow him, never to spit him out again. He stumbles with his words, dropping them as though the gears of his mind are grinding to a halt, coating in rust. “Um-If th…uh…you don…”

Then, you smile, your cheeks squishing your eyes. “Only if that’s okay.”

“More than.” Namjoon can’t help his smile back; grateful you didn’t mention him tripping over himself. “I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”

Twenty minutes later, Namjoon is digging through his drawers for something for you to wear for the night, the blush that had flushed his cheeks earlier had returned with a vengeance as he thought about the fact that you’re staying the night and would be wearing his clothes. He’s still beside himself, not too sure what to do, because this is so far beyond the two of you being friends and talking through calls and texts.

He settles on a long-sleeved tee shirt and black sweatpants and meets you back in the living room, where you stand at the window watching the lights twinkle down below and in the distance. When he announces his return, you turn, looking a little worried and Namjoon once again wonders if he’s crossed a line somewhere. You smile softly, taking the bundle of clothes from his arms.

“Thank you…” You say, and then, softer: “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Namjoon plants his hands on your shoulder, squeezing gently before he leads you back the way he came, following your steps closely with his own. He stops you right outside the bathroom door, “Yes, I’m sure.”

Namjoon lays awake in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. You’re sleeping in the room across from him, well, he assumes you’re asleep by now. The clock at his bedside blinks sleepily, but Namjoon finds it hard to let his mind settle.

When you’d come out of the bathroom earlier, a little over thirty minutes ago, you were practically drowning in his clothes. You’d rolled the legs of the pants a few times but it still swam around your ankles and the tee was at least three times your size.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in oversized clothing before. It’s simply the fact that it’s his. It’s been a good few months since he’s met you in that cafe, and a good few weeks since he’s realised he liked you.

It may have happened when you went off on one of your many rambles about something or the other. He’s not quite certain. After spending the entire day with you, Namjoon likes you in his space. Not once have you given him the need to run in the opposite direction, not once have you broken his trust.

Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, kicking his feet under the blanket. Making up his mind, he gets out of bed and marches confidently to his door. He pulls it open and the edge of the door hits his toe. He stands for a moment, with his eyes closed, brows furrowed in pain and a hand over his mouth keeping the pained yelp trapped. “...Ow.”

He takes the five steps across the hallway, raises a hand to knock, takes a breath and turns on his heel. He walks a little ways up the hall.

“Okay. C’mon, it’s not that hard.” He mutters to himself, and then looks back at the door, “This is very hard.”

He’s not sure. He’s sure of himself, and his feelings, but...what if you’re not in the same place he is?

“Joon?” You poke your head out the door, and Namjoon startles. “You good?”

You didn’t look like you went to sleep and he woke you up, though your hair is a bit tousled and Namjoon would like to hope that you’d been just as restless as he was.

“Yeah...”

You give him a look that says you aren’t too convinced, “I heard a thud.”

“Oh...” The ache in his toe rings with a dull echo, and he looks down at his feet and then back at you, “Door...I jammed it against my toe.”

Your eyes flicker downward, and even in the dimly lit hallway he could see your amusement. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, happens all the time.”

“I’m concerned at the fact that you think accidentally hurting yourself this often is normal.” You laugh and Namjoon makes his way over to you but stops short and stares up at the ceiling. You’ve ditched the pants he gave you.

“What are we looking at?”

He glances at you and you’re also looking at the ceiling.

“You’re not wearing pants.”

You must’ve caught yourself, because there’s a soft gasp and the shuffling of your feet. When Namjoon brings his gaze back down you’re peeking at him from behind the door.

“Sorry!” You squeak out, “Sleeping in long pants is uncomfy.”

“It’s okay, I sleep naked sometimes so...” Namjoon couldn’t stop the words before they hit the air, and for a moment they simply hang there as you both stare at each other.

“Not that you should sleep naked...I mean – you can if you want to, really, doesn’t bug me at all...” He’s really trying to reign it in here. “There’s nothing wrong with sleeping like that. As long as you’re comfortable!”

“Relax,” You laugh, sticking your hand out through the gap in the door and the frame to wave him down, “I’m not sleeping naked. I get cold fast.”

“There’s a solution for that.” Another pause, and Namjoon realises how his words sounded as you raise a brow at him, “The heater. There’s a heater in there. I wasn’t suggesting that I could...”

Namjoon sighs, he really does put his foot right in his mouth. So he does what’s best for everyone and just closes it.

Just when he was beginning to think that this moment would be at the top of his 'Awkward situations you’ve created' list, the gap widens just a bit and there’s something shy about your small smile and the way your eyes stay glued to the floor.

“I wouldn’t mind...” Your words are soft and Namjoon wonders for a moment if he misheard. This is the most shy he’s seen you in a while, looking up at him through your eyelashes, fingers caught in the hem of your borrowed tee-shirt; wringing the life out of the piece you hold.

“Yeah?” His voice is equally as soft, giving you room to change your mind if you so wished. You nod mutely and Namjoon gives you a second more to think carefully, only stepping forward when you step back and pull the door with you.

You leave the door open a crack, so that the light from the hallway bleeds into the darkness, and Namjoon watches as you walk over to the bed and crawl under the blankets.

There really isn’t much to this room, equipped with the essentials and a few nick-knacks and a bookshelf he’d put his other books on because there was no space on his other ones. There was a landscape painting hanging above the headboard, something he put there to give the room a bit more personality.

You’re peeking at him from the blankets, the soft mounds of material hiding most of your face from view. It’s a lot cooler here than his room, though the floor is cold under his bare feet and he briefly wondered if you need socks.

He walks soundlessly over and out of habit, he’s already pulling his tee-shirt over his head but pauses when it hangs on the length of his arms. “Shit – sorry.” He pokes his head back through the neck of the tee, “I run hot so I don’t usually sleep with a shirt on.”

“Is that why you sleep naked, too?”

Namjoon is grateful for the dark as heat runs up his neck. He takes it in stride, though, “Yeah. Clothes are constricting sometimes.”

There’s something else in your voice when you giggle, and there’s a shifting of the blankets. “You can keep it off if you want.”

Namjoon hums, “Are you okay with that?”

“As long as you’re comfortable.”

“Your comfort matters, too.” It’s not as though you hadn’t seen him without a shirt before; you shaded video calls during his workout sessions. Even though most of those are spent with you trying not to look at him – Namjoon’s caught you staring more times than he could count. This is different, though, he reminds himself; you’re no longer oceans away.

“I’m comfortable with it.”

“Okay.” Namjoon pulls his shirt off and folds it neatly, placing it on the nightstand before he climbs into bed next to you.

His side of the bed is cold, but he could feel your warmth just inches away. He turns to face you, lying on his side, finding your eyes in the dark.

“Hi.” You’re already facing him and in the darkness, Namjoon smiles.

“Hi.”

Your toes brush his under the covers and Namjoon hisses softly, “Are you cold?”

“A little...”

“Want me to get closer?” Namjoon whispers, and to his surprise, you move over first.

There’s a slight chill to your skin as you settle, resting your head where Namjoon extended his arm and then, close enough that your legs tangle with his and the ghost of your breath tickles his chest. You smell like him, like watermelon and mint; He’s once again grateful for the darkness.

Namjoon lets his other arm rest in the dip where the softness of your stomach meets your waist. It’s quiet when you both stop shuffling about, and your breaths are a tad nervous on the inhale.

“Okay?” Namjoon tries his best not to disturb the quiet, speaking softly. He feels you nod, and a slow flow of warm air as you sigh.

“You’re really warm.”

Namjoon chuckles, and silently, holds you tighter. He lets his chin rest on the top of your head, your hair tickles his nose. It smells faintly of his shampoo – he’s never loved it more. He wants to stay there forever, wrapped in the sweet, gentle scent of honeysuckle, melon and something uniquely you.

Namjoon wonders – and he knows, there’s no point in dwelling on the thought – what would’ve happened if he’d walked out of the cafe that day. Held captive by his responsibilities and his duty to keep his group and their image as spotless as possible. It would’ve been different had you not been the way you are.

He calls your name softly, and he wonders if you can feel the rapid pace of his heart beneath the warmth of your palm. It kicks against his sternum like he’s been running, and he takes a breath. There’s something unspoken here, in this darkened room where only the walls are listening.

Somewhere along the way, during the days that dragged the weeks into months – somewhere – a line was blurred.

Sleep wraps around your tired hum like a warm blanket, the sound of the sheets shifting further shattering the quiet as you lean back a little to look at him.

He lets his hand find the warmth of your cheek, moving until his thumb is resting against the front of your ear and his fingers are nestled in the softness of your hair.

“Wanna ask you something.” He says.

“What’s it?”

Distractedly, Namjoon’s fingers rub tentative circles in your scalp and catches the way your eyes flutter at the feeling.

He smiles when your eyes open and meet his, with the dark he grows confident, and softly: “Can I kiss you?”

His words hang in the air, heavy with desire and affection. In that moment, the weight of his request carries with it a profound realisation.

It’s not just a simple act of physical connection he seeks, but rather a deeper, more profound expression of love. His request bears the weight of all the emotions, vulnerabilities, and hopes he has placed upon this relationship.

The answer now rests in your hands, and Namjoon waits with bated breath for your response.

“Please.” Your answer dances between you both, and Namjoon angles your head upward slightly, and closes the gap with a tentative kiss. Your lips are soft and taste of mint when he runs his tongue along the seam of your mouth. He doesn’t ask for much more, gentle in the way that he pulls you closer, fingers tangling in the soft hair at your nape.

In this moment, there is no need for words. The brush of your skin against his, the sweet taste of your kiss, and the way your bodies gravitate towards each other speak volumes.

Namjoon cherishes every second, every breath shared, as he grows more intoxicated by you.

His heart pounding in his chest, all thoughts of caution and restraint fade away. Giving in completely to his desire and lust, he pulls you close, not wanting this moment to end. The kiss is now an embrace, with both of you giving in fully.

His lips caress yours, his touch slowly becoming more and more intimate. His tongue finds yours, and Namjoon swallows the sound you make.

He breaks the kiss for a moment, you both take in a deep breath. It’s like everything around you becomes blurred, with only the two of you visible.

He runs his hands through your hair, looking into your eyes. He draws closer again, resting his forehead against yours.

He’s quiet, still for a moment, simply watching you in the dark. Your fingers tap softly against his chest, confusion and worry sit on the furrow of your brow.

“What wrong?”

Namjoon sighs, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth, your eyes each and then your forehead where he lingers. “It’s nothing... it’s just...”

“I want you to understand...” He continues softly after a breath, “My life can be overwhelming, it’s hard even for me some days. There’s times when I feel like I’ve worked hard only to get myself trapped in a bottle. Dangling above the view of millions who think I should live my life their way.

It isn’t easy. There’s always a risk that maybe one of us would slip up or something else. Privacy is something hard won and I’d hate for anything to happen that puts you in a position that you’ll regret.”

Namjoon lays his worries bare like cards going all in, focusing on the texture of your hair between his fingers. He allows you a moment to absorb his words, to really think.

The life of an idol isn’t for everyone; so many have cracked under the pressure of it. The life of an idol’s partner does not come any easier. Your relationship would be kept buried like a dirty secret to feed into the delusions of a certain variety of ‘fans’, all for the safety of the people involved.

If by some miracle, or a stroke of good luck, you choose to continue onward despite the challenges it would bring, Namjoon would be eternally grateful and he would spend his days making sure you never regret that choice.

“Joon...” Your hand meets his wrist, curling at his pulse. “I’ve known from the beginning what it would be like. You’ve got fans all over the world who adore you, and who would do just about anything to get close to you. It’s not easy to live a life like that, to be constantly watched and judged.

“But I knew that going in,” you continue. “I may not have expected to fall in love with you, but now that it’s happened, nothing else matters. I know what it’s like to have eyes always on you, and I’m willing to do anything to make it work.”

“You...you love me?” Namjoon's mind feels as though it blanked, though somewhere in the back among the cogs grinding to a halt your words have registered. Right now, he could only tunnel focus on that one thing.

“Oh god.” There’s a smile blooming on Namjoon’s lips as you groan an embarrassed sound, tucking your face into the crook of his neck. He laughs softly, leaning back to catch your gaze but you evade him, bringing your hands up to cover your face instead.

Namjoon briefly wonders if this is what a moon orbiting a planet feels like. Ganymede does not question the gravity of Jupiter. It simply orbits the planet, accepting its fate. And Namjoon accepts his fate of being drawn to you. He is not swept up by your presence, but rather firmly grounded, and held in place. His feelings for you are as natural as the pull of gravity, as certain as the rotation of the Earth.

In your presence, everything shifts, and nothing else becomes important. Your gravity becomes his universe, and he is perfectly content to reside in it.

“I love you too.”

You peek at him through your fingers, and Namjoon doesn’t let the moment pass, prying your hands gently away from your face. He leans closer and presses a kiss to your lips, there’s nothing gentle about it this time – all teeth and tongue and quiet sounds that Namjoon swallows. He eases you onto your back with a gentle hand, slotting himself between your legs.

He trails his kisses down your neck, catching the skin with his teeth and sucking to leave his mark. He trails his hand down the length of your thigh, over the band of your underwear and under the soft cotton tee-shirt. He brushes his fingers along the curve of your hip, feeling the warmth of your skin and the way you tremble beneath his touch. He travels further still, up your ribcage to your breasts, feeling the soft curves and the way your nipples harden beneath his caress.

He feels the goosebumps that erupted at his touch, feels the hitch of your breath in your chest. Namjoon sucks a mark against your collarbone, he shifts so that he’s at your side, giving his hand more room.

He traces feather light touches along the expanse of your stomach and you giggle into his kiss. His fingers glide just above the waistband of your underwear, teasing until you whine his name.

Namjoon chuckles as he pulls away, “Can I?”

Words seem like more than you can manage and you nod. Namjoon gives a fleeting kiss, as his fingers dip lower, pushing aside your underwear to find your heat. The arousal clinging to your panties cools rapidly against the back of his hand, and Namjoon dips a finger into the warmth of you.

He keeps his eyes on your face as he does, watching the way your eyebrows furrow and your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth. He nudges his nose against your cheek and runs his tongue along the shell of your ear. He’s barely touching you, keeping his fingers just shy of where he knows you want them the most.

It’s a while of teasing you this way, and Namjoon likes the way frustration bleeds into your soft, breathless moans when he circles your clit with his slick fingers and pulls away. He gives your neck and chest most of his attention, with gentle squeezes and his tongue tracing abstract patterns, drawing your nipples into his mouth with soft tugs of his teeth.

When the next whine of his name comes with teary eyes, Namjoon takes pity on you. The wet, tightness of you makes him groan and he pulls a hissing breath through his teeth, pressing his erection against your hip where he ruts in sync with the movement of his fingers.

He curls them upward, your back bows and he presses the heel of his palm against your clit. He kisses your cheek when your fingers wrap around his wrist, “I got you, baby.”

You gasp, your pleasure mounting until you can’t take it anymore. You writhe beneath his touch as you reach the peak of pleasure, calling out his name as you fall over the edge.

Namjoon gives you a moment to breathe, running his hand along your thighs and tummy. He takes your face in his hands once your breaths evened out, pressing his forehead to yours and breathing in your scent. His lips find yours in a gentle, yet passionate kiss that leaves you both breathless.

“Good?”

“Fuck – yeah.” Your fingers tug at his hair and Namjoon groans.

“Want me to go on?” He asks softly, pressing a kiss to your temple and then, almost jumps right out of his skin when your other hand squeezes at his cock in his sweats. He lets out a chuckle that gets muddled by a moan that rumbles in his chest. “Baby.”

Namjoon sees the smile that curls in your lips, the innocent way you blink at him. You hum softly when he mouths at your jaw, a shudder runs through him and he can’t stop himself chasing the friction with a buck of his hips.

“You wan’it?” Namjoon’s drunk on you and you’ve barely done anything. You’re tugging at the drawstring of his sweatpants, and he groans, letting his forehead rest against your chest when your hand wraps around his cock and tugs upward. “Ah, Fuck.”

He feels your hand against his chest and lies back when you push gently. He watches as you tug his tee-shirt and your underwear off, and he quickly follows to take his sweats off.

He slides his hands up your thighs when you settle on his. A breath catches in his throat when you wrap both hands around the width of his cock. His fingers gripping where your thighs meet your hips, and he watches with heavy lidded eyes as you lean forward slightly and spit. The dollop of saliva lands deftly on the head of his cock and Namjoon’s eyes roll back as you focus there.

You’re twisting your wrists, the slick sound of it and Namjoon’s harsh breaths are the only sounds in the quiet room. When he feels his lower stomach clench he grabs your wrist and still your movement.

“Fuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of literally anything else, “You’ll make me cum if you keep doing that.”

Your giggle rings like a bell and Namjoon smiles at the sound. Sitting up he pulls you forward, trapping his throbbing cock between his stomach and the heat of your cunt. He groans at how wet you are, blunt teeth nipping at your jaw. “Wanna ride it?” He breathes, “Hm? Wanna fuck me?”

He feels your nod, feels the shuddering breath you release against his hair. “Words, Princess.”

“Yeah, wanna fuck you.”

Namjoon helps you balance, guiding his cock – slick with your juices – to your entrance. He sucks on your tongue as you come down slowly, and Namjoon swears he’s seeing the pearly gates behind his tightly shut eyes when your walls flutter.

He lies back, giving you a moment and short, shallow thrusts. You look so beautiful above him, your hair a rumpled mess, throat and chest covered in bruises of his own making. He gives a single thrust, a hand sliding up your sweat slicked skin to palm at your breast, his other hand landing a harsh slap against your ass.

You squeak out a moan and Namjoon chuckles, doing it again, “C’mon, baby girl. Fuck me.”

Your hands press against his tummy, hips rising slowly and coming back down. He lets you set the pace, content to lie back and take what you give. He could feel your arousal dripping down his shaft, and Namjoon tightens his grip on your hips.

He plants his feet flat on the bed, meeting you halfway with his thrusts. He pulls you down with a hand behind your neck, when your chest meets his he wraps his other arm around your waist and sets a brutal pace.

“Feels so fucking good.” Namjoon groans, “Pussy’s so good—fuck.”

You’re moaning right in his ear, whining, breathless sounds that makes him fuck you harder. Without warning, your thighs squeeze at his sides and you tremble above him. Your orgasm pools in his groin in a gush of warmth, your moans pitching an octave with his name and Namjoon swears, fucking you through it.

“That’s it, baby. Good girl.” Namjoon groans, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. He slows his thrusts and gently eases you off him, he settles behind you when you’re on your stomach, lifting your hips to meet his.

Your moans are muffled by the sheets when he thrusts forward. He holds you steady with a hand gripping your waist and the other on the back of your neck. He focuses his thrusts on the spot that makes your walls tighten and drip.

He looks down to watch his cock disappear inside you, and the way your ass jiggles from the force of his thrusts. “Fuc—M’gonna cum. Where you want it?”

You meet his thrusts halfway, “Inside.”

“You sure?” Namjoon pants, slowing down just a bit.

“Yeah—wanna feel you. Please, daddy.”

Lightning shoots down his spine, curses in his mother tongue trapped behind his teeth as he spills his release inside you. He holds you pressed against him, balls deep, moaning at every throb of his cock.

He pulls you closer when he lays down, peppering kisses all over your face and wherever he could reach. When you’ve both caught your breaths, you finally speak, chin propped on your hand on his chest.

“Daddy, huh? That does it for you?” You’re giggling and Namjoon throws an arm over his eyes, groaning.

“Shut up.” He can’t help his smile, “You’re the one who said it, so I think it’s the other way around actually.”

“We’re both gonna lose if we go there.”

A half hour later, after the sheets in the guest bedroom were stripped and you and him are settled for the night in his room, Namjoon wouldn’t change a thing if he had the power to. He’d go into that cafe and sit at your table every time.

Ganymede has no choice in the matter, he would orbit Jupiter as long as she allows it.

Tagging (Bold means i couldn't tag ):) : @xpeachesncream @luaspersona @bangtansmauyeondan @taestefully-in-luv @eoieopda @euphoricfilter @mssukeyna @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @eren-fall @blog-name-idk @idkreallys-blog @thvunaise @menialthoughts

388 notes · View notes

ellies-little-thing · 4 months

Text

Want you back (e.w.)

*not my images, but i edited them

My masterlist <3

pairing: modern!ellie / fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW; angst; fluf; smut; reader is referred to as she/her; reader has a vagina; cheatting; drinking; use of marijuana; strap!usage reader!receaving; cunilingus; mature content; very explicit; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!

word count: 21.6k

Inspired by this 5SOS song <3

MEN AND MINORS DNI! ( I'll find you, and ill kill you. So... )

You and Ellie broke up a few months ago. You dated for almost half a year before she cheated on you. She was the one who broke up with you though. She had never told you why she had done it. You tried to forget about it but it was really hard. Because of the break up, you haven’t felt like yourself. The depression was kicking in and your friends were starting to get worried about you.

You haven’t really gone out, met other girls or anything for a while, so when your friends drag you to a frat party, you hesitate if you should go. But when you get to the party. You see her. Ellie. She’s talking to some girl, but then she sees you. She has the girl under her arm as she's drinking. She was wearing her usual go-to outfit, a wife beater with ripped skinny jeans and her black converse with her hair in a half bun.

You try to ignore her and keep talking to your friends. As you turn away from her, you can feel her stare. It’s piercing through you, but you keep ignoring her, that is until she walks over to you and taps on your shoulder. You look back, a bit annoyed, already knowing it is her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks, but her voice hints more at an order than a question.

You roll your eyes, but go with her into a more private place and with less noise. She leads you away from the party to some random hallway. You don't know why you keep letting yourself into these situations again and again. She waits until you’re both alone before she begins to talk. “Look, it’s been a few months since the breakup and I think we need to talk.” She says as she crosses her arms and looks you straight in the eye.

“About what?” You ask crossing your arms as well, getting uncomfortable from being this close to her again after so long.

“About the breakup.” She says as she walks closer to you. “We were together for so long, I feel like just breaking up was a mistake.” She says as she comes up to you. “I think we need to get back together.” You’re speechless. All this time thinking she hates you, but in reality she misses you. She wanted you back.

“You were the one who cheated, not me.” You say bluntly, looking at her.

A wave of embarrassment washes over her face, as she looks down at the ground.

“I know.” She says as she looks back up at you. “But I miss you, I realized no one else makes me feel like you make me feel.” You could smell the alcohol from her breath.

“I'm tired Ellie.” You say uncrossing your arms and leaning against the wall. Ellie frowns a little and looks at the ground for a few moments. After a bit, she looks right into your eyes. “Please just give me another chance.” She says as she looks desperate and a little heartbroken.

“Why should I?” You ask her, getting angry now.

“Because I love you.” Ellie says as she steps closer to you, so you can feel the warmth of her body. “I made a mistake, okay? But I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Please just give me another chance.” She says as she stands mere inches from you. She smells of her cologne you missed so much, but there is something else. She smells of pot. By the way she slurs her words you realize she's probably high as well.

“You were just now having loads of fun with that girl you were with…” You say crossing your arms again and looking at her annoyed, trying to get some distance between you.

“She’s just a friend.” Ellie says as she looks away from you, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I wasn’t really having fun. I would much rather be here, with you.” She leans in closer to you until you can feel her warm breath on your neck. “Come on…” She says as she looks at you with teary eyes. “We were so good together.” She speaks in a low and raspy tone knowing how it affects you.

You stay still, looking at her with your arms crossed as she speaks. Ellie notices your body language and looks at you with worry. You aren't reacting like you used to. “Please don’t stay angry, just give me another chance.” She repeats. Her voice sounded more pleading and desperate instead of angry. She leans in closer again until she’s practically pressed up against you. She places a gentle hand on the side of your face, as she looks you directly in the eyes. “Please, my sweetheart.” She whispers.

“I'm your sweetheart now?” You ask with a “are you serious” vibe.

“Always have been.” She says as she looks directly into your eyes without blinking. She places her other hand on the back of your head and begins to stroke your hair. She’s practically right on top of you, pressing herself as close to you as possible, so you can feel her body against yours. “Please babe, just give me another chance...” She whispers in your ear.

You melted when she called you ‘babe’, that's what she would always call you before. You can't really get away since she backed you into the wall. “You're drunk Ellie...” You look away from her face trying to hide your blush.

“Just give me another chance...” She repeats, her voice still pleading and desperate as her hands are starting to move, caressing your body. She looks at you, her cheeks are red with embarrassment, her eyes glazed with sadness and longing. “Please, I’ll do anything to make this up to you.” She whispers as she kisses you gently on the cheek and then on your neck. You can feel your body starting to give in to her touch but you try to resist her. You feel her giving you some more kisses as her hands start to go into more intimate areas. She grabs your ass and gives it a good squeeze. You can feel your panties starting to get wet. You forgot how good she could make you feel. As her hand starts going up, under your dress, you realize what she really wants and you stop her.

“Ellie stop.” You say as you feel her kisses on your skin. You missed her and they felt good but she was drunk. She didn't mean anything she had just said. She just wanted to fuck you. Ellie stops kissing you and leans away from you just enough for her lips to be off of you, but she is still close so that she’s pressed up against you. She looks you in the eyes. Her breath heavy from her kissing and you can feel her chest slowly rising and falling. She still looks at you with a pleading look. Just waiting for you to say something. She grabs you by your waist as the other hand still travels under your skirt, looking at your lips. You get away from her grasp. “You don't just get to do that and think I'll come running back into your arms.” You look at her with a bit of anger in your eyes as you pull your dress down. Ellie looks at you as if you just stabbed her right in the heart. She slowly shakes her head at you and sighs. She crosses her arms over her chest and she looks down at the ground. She stays like this for a few seconds before finally speaking. “I understand. I just wanted you back, but I guess I can't make things right.”

“If you weren't drunk every time you tried that, maybe i'd believe you.” You say with a sadness in your voice. Her heart skips a beat when she hears the sadness in your voice. But she doesn’t allow the thought of her hurting and disappointing you to distract her. Because she has to be strong. So she keeps her gaze at the floor and responds: “Yeah, you’re right.” She sighs and lets her eyes travel around the floor, before they rest on her feet for a few seconds. “Good night Ellie, have fun with your date.” You say almost crying as you walk back to your friends. You move through the crowd still thinking about her.

The pain in her stomach grows exponentially as she sees you walk away from her. Without realizing it, she makes a fist as she stands there. She is angry at herself. She stays there for a few seconds, hoping that you’ll come back to her. Hoping that you’ll change your mind and give her another chance, but you never turn around. She just feels her whole world crumble apart. But instead of showing her sadness, she keeps the image of the tough girl she wants to be. She crosses her arms and sighs. “Goodbye.” She whispers.

You hear her but just continue walking. She stays there, trying to compose herself. But the disappointment and sadness from seeing that you didn’t look back is too much for her. She goes into the bathroom and locks the door and she just breaks down emotionally. She starts crying uncontrollably. You decided to go home, as it was getting really late. You say your goodbyes and start leaving the party. Ellie calmed herself down and came out, her mind going into a whirlwind. She was heartbroken and defeated. As you leave, she doesn’t even notice you or anything around her anymore. She just stands there next to the girl she was with again, staring at the void in her mind. She doesn’t speak or move. She just stands there.

You walk home and when you arrive you lay in bed sad, because of Ellie's behavior. As you lay down on your bed, your thoughts take over. You think about everything Ellie said and everything that happened at the party. Your heart hurts as you think about how she reacted.

You feel a mix of many different emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, and a little bit of hope. You can’t shake off the feeling that she’s being sincere when she says that she misses you. That she doesn’t want to be with anyone else, but she always had a new girl under her arm when you saw her. Your heart sinks again when you think about those girls. You don’t know why she always does that. She just acts like nothing happened between you two around other people. She acts like it didn’t mean anything to her. How can she act like this? Like you two never were together? Your thoughts and emotions are a whirlwind. You don’t know what to feel and even though your mind is racing, you feel tired.

She says she misses you but only talks to you when she's drunk or high, or both. The thought of her being drunk and high everytime she wants to talk to you is eating away at you.

She only approaches when she is not sober. She only talks to you when she is not in a sound mind. This realization makes you wonder, ‘Do these encounters have any real meaning?’ You’re in pain because you’re hoping that she actually misses you and these encounters have real meaning. You wish she came to you when she was sober and didn’t only talk to you when she was under the influence. You lie in your bed, trying to relax and trying to sleep. But you can’t shake off the feelings of sadness and disappointment that you still have. You try to keep your mind occupied, you try to tell yourself that you don’t need her, but you can’t hide the fact that your heart still hurts over the whole situation.

A few days later, you’re going about your life, but the thoughts of Ellie are still lingering in your mind. You feel like you can’t forget about her. It’s like something is missing in your life ever since she left. You try to fill that void with other people, but nothing really worked. You still think about her, and your thoughts always lead to sadness and longing. You tried talking to a girl for some time but you didn't really feel a connection. You’ve tried talking to other girls and going out a few times, but you didn’t really feel a connection with any of them either. They’re not like Ellie. They don’t give you that same type of happiness and excitement. They don’t make you feel the way Ellie did. You can’t help but feel disappointed every time you try to find someone new. Ellie always looked happy and content every time you saw her. She was never alone. Always with some random girl or with her friends that were a really bad influence on her. She missed you truly, and was sorry for what she put you through, but she was too proud to talk to you sober. She was too proud to even be seen talking to you altogether.

You are walking to class when you suddenly bump into someone. When you look up, you see Ellie. You’re shocked to see her. You don’t know what to say, so you just stare at her. Ellie is surprised to see you too, she also doesn’t know what to say. Both of you just stare at each other without saying anything, not sure what to do. You look away and continue walking. You don’t know what else to do. You don’t want to talk to her, but you’re also not sure how you would react if she came to talk to you. You can’t stop thinking about her, even though the whole interaction was only a few seconds. You feel disappointed with yourself because you couldn’t even have a conversation with her. You just walked away. Looking at her, only reminds you of the past relationship, a time where you were happy. But that’s all gone now. It hurts too much. She's gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can only move on. But even after all this time, it still hurts. Every time you look at her, you remember how much you loved her. And it just hurts so much. She looks at you as you walk away. She watches you from afar with a look of sadness and pain on her face. You can tell she was wishing that you stayed and talked to her. That you gave her hope that things could change. But you didn’t. You walked away from her without even saying a word. She’s left with the pain of knowing that you’re not coming back.

Later that night, you receive a text message from Ellie. You look at it with curiosity, but you also feel afraid about what she could text you about. Maybe she’s texting you to yell at you for not talking to her. Or, maybe she will just tell you that she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You open the text message, not knowing what to expect. You read the text message from Ellie. “Can I talk to you? Like, right now?”

“Why? About what?” You respond, not really thinking it through.

She sends another text message. “Can you just come over so we can talk?” She seems desperate. She sounds like she’s feeling anxious too.

“Why should i? Just so you can hurt me some more?” You reply a few minutes later.

She replies quickly. She sounds really upset. “Please just come over. I really need to talk to you.”

You sigh and think for another few minutes. The thoughts of her hurting you again are going through your head. The sadness of the whole situation and the disappointment. You don’t want this whole situation to happen again. Yet, you also are filled with curiosity. What does she have to say?

“I'll be there in 30.” You respond, knowing this won’t go well.

About half an hour later, you’re at her house. You’ve been thinking about what she could have to say the whole walk there. She probably just wants to tell you that she wants nothing to do with you. Or something like that. Either way, you’re going to be hearing her say something disappointing again. You knock on the door. You’re a little nervous, but you’re expecting the worst, anyway. After a few seconds of waiting, the door opens. Ellie is standing behind the door staring at you. She hasn’t said a word. She is just staring at you, just like you are staring at her.

You stare at her in the eyes and for a few long seconds, none of you say a word. All you can think in your head is: “Just say something already, just get this over with.” Because you didn’t say anything, she stepped aside to let you come in. At this point you’re really starting to wish that you had just ignored her text. You’re starting to think that this whole thing might be a bigger deal than you thought. You step into her house and look around. Her house was always messy but this was more than messy, it was like a tornado went by. Cans of beer all over the counters, boxes of take out food, clothes everywhere. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You can’t stop thinking that your heart beats faster each time you think about what she wants to talk about.

You stand there waiting for her to say what she wanted to say. Ellie continues to stare at you with a pleading and sad look. For a few seconds, it feels like this moment will last forever. She still hasn’t said anything. She doesn’t explain why she wants to talk to you. But she just continues staring with that pleading look in her eyes. “Why did you want to talk to me?” You finally break the silence, asking this in an annoyed tone.

Ellie swallows and finally speaks: “I wanted to talk to you because…” She hesitates to continue speaking. It feels like she’s having a hard time getting her words out. But she knows she has to say something.

“I don't know why I came…” You whisper. Feeling disappointed in her and in yourself as well. She hears what you say and she looks down at her feet for a few seconds before she finally finds the courage. You watch in fascination as her cheeks get a little red and her body trembles slightly. “I…” She struggles to get her words out. She doesn’t know how to say it. So after a long pause, she suddenly blurts it out: “I miss you.”

“You always say that.” You look at her crossing your arms. She looks back at you with tears in her eyes now, she can barely look at you anymore. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I really missed you.” She sounds like she can’t believe you’re still there. She was so sure that you wouldn’t believe her, that you wouldn’t want anything to do with her anymore. She couldn’t stop wishing that you didn’t come. Because of how disappointed she is in herself. She is disappointed in herself that she hurt someone she genuinely loved.

You look at her and see her eyes are a bit red. She wipes away a few tears from her eyes and continues to look at you. You can see the sadness in her eyes. The sadness of someone who truly missed what you guys had. She can’t believe she threw it all away. She knows that everything she’s feeling, it’s her fault. She shouldn’t hurt people like this and she’s fully aware of it. Her heart hurts, because she knows she needs to do better. You look at the coffee table and at the blunt that she just put out on the ashtray. She looked at you and suddenly remembered that she’s not supposed to be smoking anymore. “It’s been tough on me... I miss you a lot and these cigs... they kinda help me, I guess.” You can hear the sadness in her voice. It’s like she’s asking you to understand. “I cant believe youre high again.” You pinch the bridge of your nose.

Her head jerks back a little and she raises her voice in defense when you accuse her of being high again. “I’m not high!” She says, but the way she says it makes her sound pretty guilty. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s not doing a very good job. Her eyes seem slightly hazy and the smell of pot is starting to linger in the air. You pick up your bag and start walking to the front door. You can't even look at her anymore. She watches as you do. She’s almost pleading with her eyes, hoping that you’d stay. She knows that she screwed up big time, and she’s desperate to fix it. She doesn’t know if you’ll forgive her and give her another chance. She’s just wishing that you’ll let her make it up to you. But you don’t stop walking and are about to leave.

You look at her one last time before opening the door. You can tell she wants you to say something. She wants you to turn around, she wants you to stay. But you don’t. You don’t say anything just like last time. You just leave, breaking this girl’s heart. She stares at the door for a few long seconds, hoping that you’ll return. That you wouldn’t leave her like this. But you do end up leaving and she is left alone, broken and hopeless. You close the door and start crying as you walk back home. The moment you close that door, you can feel something inside you break. You’re sad and heartbroken all over again. You cry the whole walk back home. The pain is overwhelming and it feels like your whole world is falling apart again. You don’t even remember crying this much when you two broke up. But that hurt in a different way, like she was tearing your heart out and throwing it away. Now, it feels like it hurts more because she cares about you still. That she really does want to fix what she threw away.

You get home and walk to your bedroom. You fall onto your bed, the thought of her weighing heavily on your mind. You lay down, thinking about everything that’s happened. You can’t stop thinking about how it seemed like she wanted to change, and yet, you gave her no chance. You didn’t take her invitation to fix things. The pain that you’re feeling is overwhelming, and you try not to cry. You hear your phone buzz and look at your screen. It’s a text message from Ellie. You pick it up and read it. “Please come back. We need to talk. I know I messed up and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I really want to fix this and make up for what I did. Please just give me a chance. I love you.”

“If you did, you wouldn't text me when you're high, again.” You know that she was high, but you keep thinking about the words. “I love you.” You know that she was high, but you could see sadness in her eyes when you were at her place. She actually wanted to make things right. Sure, you’re disappointed in her for being high yet again. But you still feel something in those words, like she actually means what she said.

“If you really want to talk, then you come over. I'm not going there again.” You think about what she says. She wants you to come to her. She doesn’t want to come to you. She’s asking you to put in the effort again. Never her. Maybe she’s too insecure to come and see you because she might be afraid of being rejected. She is afraid that you might turn her away again. Maybe this time she’s trying to show how much she really wants to fix this. Maybe she’s trying to prove that she actually loves you. She replies back with: “Fine, I’ll come to you.” Your heart starts beating faster, not only because she’s coming over, but also because she actually agreed to come to you. The thought is making you anxious and nervous. The thought of actually seeing her again scares you. You’re not sure how things will go, but part of you is hoping that they end well. You are sitting on the couch, anxiously waiting. For the next few seconds every noise you hear makes you jump, thinking it’s her. Your heart beats fast, your stomach is filled with butterflies. You can’t stop checking the time, feeling like every second an eternity.

You hear a knock on the door. Your heart suddenly starts beating even faster. Your body trembles slightly, and your mouth starts to dry. You get up and hesitantly walk over to the door. You twist the handle and open the door slowly. You see Ellie standing there. She’s staring at you with a look of remorse and sadness. You can tell she’s really nervous. You step out of the way and let her in. You walk back over to the couch and sit down, still feeling anxious and nervous. When she closes the door and comes inside, she walks over and sits next to you on the couch. She sits quite close, her arm almost touching yours. You just can't look at her, you just wait for her to talk. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You’re too nervous to look at her, you feel a wave of anxiety wash over you as you wait for her to speak. She’s sitting directly next to you, almost touching your arm with hers, and yet she’s quiet, waiting for you to be the one to start talking.

You scoot a bit further away from her, so you two are not so close anymore. She notices that you move away from her, but she doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she just stares at you, waiting for you to say something. Your lack of eye contact is making her feel insecure and nervous. She can feel the walls you built up between you two starting to rebuild higher and higher. The silence gets too much for her and she finally says something: “I’m so sorry for what I did... for hurting you like I did. I was being stupid, and I didn’t realize how much my actions would hurt you.” She sounds really remorseful and like she means every word of what she’s saying. She’s really taking accountability for her actions and seems genuinely sorry.

The fact that she finally took responsibility for her actions and is actually apologizing to you is making you feel really emotional. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, but you still can’t look at her. She just told you how much she hurt you, but at the same time you’re reminded of how much you still care about her. “You treated me like shit.” You say as you start crying. Ellie looks away from you when you bring up the way she treated you. She knows that she deserves it and that she screwed up. “I know, I know I did. I’m sorry, I really am. I truly didn’t realize how much I hurt you. I was being stupid and selfish.”

“At least you're admitting it…” You say in a disappointed tone. She doesn’t even fight back. She doesn’t even try to justify what she did. She truly is taking responsibility for her actions. She knows she hurt you badly and is taking it all in. She is just hoping that you’ll forgive her eventually. “I know that I screwed up, and this might not mean much coming from me, but I just want to try again. I just want us to try and fix this.”

“I still don't understand why you started treating me that way.” You say with a trembling voice. Ellie looks at you, finally making eye contact, and tries to answer your question. “I guess... I guess the reason I started treating you that way was because I didn’t realize how much I valued our relationship. When I first broke up with you, I thought I wasn’t going to miss you or be hurt, but it hit me way harder than I expected it to. I know you still have every right to be frustrated with me, but I hope you can understand that I didn’t mean to hurt you that badly.”

“But the worst thing was when I found out you were cheating on me. I can't forgive that.” You say, reliving the moment when you found out in your head. Ellie looks away when you bring up the betrayal of the cheating. You can tell she truly feels bad about it. “I know... I know I really screwed up with that. And I get it if you can’t forgive me for that either. I guess... I don’t really want to make excuses, but I was just so lost in the world of partying and going out, that my thoughts weren’t very clear. I didn’t really think about anyone but myself, and I regret that decision more than you can imagine.”

Your tears immediately bring out a look of sadness and guilt from Ellie. As soon as she notices that you’re crying, she grabs your face. She wipes your tears with her thumbs and looks you in the eyes. “Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to make things right between us. Just give me a chance.” You cover your face with your hands and continue to cry. She can’t stand to see you like this. She wipes away your tears again and pulls you into a hug. She holds you tightly, not letting go. “Please, please don’t cry... I know what I did was horrible, and I’m so sorry, but I’ll do anything to make this right. Just please tell me there’s still a chance for us.”

“I don't know, I have to think.” Ellie lets go of you when you say that. She seems like she finally realized the full gravity of her actions and how badly she messed up. She gets quiet, waiting for you to respond to her question. “Please, take your time. I don’t expect you to just forgive me immediately. Just, please let me try to fix this. I really do love you.”

“That's the hard part, because I really cared about you.” You say, still crying. She stares at you for a few seconds without saying anything, letting the silence linger between you two. She wants to say something but is not sure how to say it. Your words are hitting too close to home, and she’s really starting to feel bad and sad about everything that has happened. “I know, I know... I really did treat you terribly, and I never thought about how much you actually cared about me. I was so blinded by my selfishness that I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt you.” You look at her with tear filled eyes. She looks back at you with a look of pure sadness and remorse. She feels terrible for hurting you so badly. The fact that she did so much damage to you is eating her alive. You two are silent for a few moments and she continues to stare at you tearfully, wishing she had the ability to make everything right.

You hug your legs to your chest trying to find some comfort and calm your anxiety. She watches as you hug your legs, realizing that this is how she’s made you feel all this time. She has destroyed and hurt you so deeply and broke your trust. She’s made you feel like you can’t even take comfort in her. She tries to put a hand on your leg and comfort you but you pull your leg away instinctively, rejecting her. She can see by your reaction that you’re truly hurt and devastated. She’s really starting to regret everything. “I need time to think Ellie, can you please leave now?” You ask her, still crying. She stops trying to touch you, realizing that you aren’t ready to forgive her yet. Instead, she nods and looks down at the ground. She’s still feeling so much sadness and regret, but she respects your wishes. “Okay, I understand... I really do. Just... just take your time, and think about it... please.” She stands up and walks over to the door, pulling it open slowly.

You look at her as she walks. She looks back at you, wanting to make one last apology.

“I know you’re angry, and I get it. I really do. Just... just take it easy.” She takes one last look at you and then walks out, closing the door behind her. You start sobbing as soon as she walks out. It’s like everything is crashing down around you. You sit on the couch for a bit and keep sobbing. The pain you’re feeling is unbearable. Like you can’t function without her. Like you need her. You’ve been so hurt and betrayed by her, but that love is still there. You still love her. You decide to go to bed, and after a long day like this one, it’s not too hard to fall asleep. Your body is exhausted physically and mentally, you just want to sleep and pretend like everything is okay. You fall asleep soon after.

A few days pass, and you still can't seem to get her out of your mind. But you haven’t heard from her at all, and you don’t know what to think. You’ve been feeling depressed and lonely, not being able to stop thinking about her and the whole situation. You were at home after a long day of boring classes. Your phone buzzes in your pocket. And as you notice the vibration, you take it out of your pocket and see who has messaged you. It’s Ellie. “I know it’s only been a few days, but I’ve been thinking about what happened quite a bit. Can I come over and talk to you again?”

You take a few minutes to think about it and eventually decide to say yes. You message her back, saying, “Yes, you can come over, and we can talk.” You were watching TV when Ellie texted you. You start feeling more and more anxious and nervous, and you can’t even focus on the show you’re watching anymore. Your heart is beating faster, and you feel all the feelings from before, coming back in waves.

You hear a knock at your door and your stomach starts to flutter. You can tell that it’s Ellie because of how familiar her knock is. Your heart is beating so fast and you’re starting to feel nervous and anxious again. You get up and walk over to your front door. You can hear your heartbeat in your ear and a wave of butterflies in your stomach. You take a deep breath, open the door, and see her standing there, looking like she’s feeling just as nervous as you.

“Come in.” You say as you get out of the way. She quickly steps inside and looks at you. She looks a bit more relaxed now that she has arrived at your house, but she’s still a bit anxious. You close the door behind her and she looks around the room. She seems eager to talk now that she is here with you.

You walk back over to the couch and sit back down. Her attitude has changed a bit now that she is inside the house and feels more relaxed. She still looks like she has a lot to talk about and she seems excited to have this conversation. You look at her waiting for her to talk. She looks back at you and takes a deep breath. She seems like she’s been preparing for this conversation for a while, and she’s ready to finally get it all out in the open. “I know it’s only been a few days and I said that I was going to give you some time, but I really wanted to come back over as soon as I could. I know that you’re probably still mad and upset, but I just needed to talk to you again. ”You look up at her as she continues.“I wanted to take some time to really think about everything that happened... about everything I did. I just kept blaming everything on external factors, and I never really held myself accountable for what I did. But now, I’m not doing that anymore. I should’ve thought about how much I hurt you, and I should’ve taken into consideration what our relationship meant to you. I’ve been selfish and self-centered. And I’m really going to try and change that.”

You look up at her, taking in her words. She continues to talk, really pouring her heart out. “I also want you to know how truly sorry I am for what I did. I broke your trust, and the fact that you can’t even look me in the eye anymore is just a painful reminder of how much you distrust me now. I really want to fix this, and if it takes time for you to forgive me, I will wait.” You tear up as she talks, She looks at you, noticing that you’re tearing up and she starts to get really nervous. “Please... please don’t cry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I really do need it. I did so much to hurt you, and I need you to let me back in your life. You’re so important to me, and I need you to know that I will never hurt you again.”

“You better not.” You say looking away from her. She gives you a solemn nod. “I promise I will never hurt you again. I understand that you need time to heal and to trust me, but when you are ready, please let me back in. I’m willing to do anything and everything to make this work again.” You look at her not sure what to say. She looks back at you, not expecting you to say anything back. You’re both feeling a lot of things right now, so she understands that it’s hard to even have any words to reply with. She takes a deep breath and looks at you. "Can I ask you something?" She takes another deep breath before asking the question, trying to prepare herself for your answer. “Can you... can you tell me if you think there's still a chance for us?”

“Maybe, I don't know…” You respond with a trembling voice. You still love her but you don't know if you can do this all over again. Her face immediately lights up with a spark of hope hearing those words. She realizes that you still consider a chance. She smiles and looks away. “That’s all I needed to hear. I just need to know that there’s some sort of chance. I know it might take a lot of time and effort for you to forgive me, and I will take every action necessary to prove to you that I can be trustworthy again.”

Your body relaxes slightly. She notices that your body has relaxed a bit, which makes her feel better. She’s glad that she at least had a slightly more positive impact than she anticipated. She looks back at you and she really starts to feel hope. “I really want this to work. You were always so good to me, too good even, and I took it for granted, but I’ll never take it for granted again, if you give me another chance.” She notices that you still have a sad expression, which makes her feel bad. She wants nothing more than to make you happy, but she knows that this might take some time. So she just keeps talking to you. She hopes that hearing the right words will make you smile and forgive her. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, but please, please I’m begging you to just give me one more. We can take all the time we need, just as long as we end up together again. "

“Let's see what time holds.” You say in a low tone, out of energy. She nods, accepting your answer. It’s not the immediate yes she wanted, but it’s still a good sign. She feels a little bit better inside. “Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I need to. I know I screwed up badly, and that it won’t be an easy thing to earn back your trust. But I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You look away from her and lean back into the couch thinking of everything she has said. After a few minutes you ask her without looking at her, “Wanna watch a movie or something?” You didn't want to talk anymore but you didn't want her to go just yet either. She lights up as soon as you make the movie comment. She hadn’t thought about watching a movie with you or with anyone for a while. “Oh my god, yes. Please, I would love to watch a movie together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, just relax with you and watch something we both enjoy.”

“Okay then.” You pick up the remote and put something on. She gets a smile on her face as you pick up the remote and turn on the tv. She leans back on the couch and gets comfortable as she watches what you put on. It’s the first time in a while that she’s just been able to relax and do something simple with you. You can't really look at her so you just watch the TV. She notices that you won't look at her, and she wonders why. She tries not to think too hard about it, and she keeps watching the TV as well. She also notices that your mood has lightened a little bit since she walked in. Maybe you’re starting to forgive her or starting to consider giving her another chance. She smiles as she hears you laughing at the movie’s jokes. It makes her feel good to see you look like you are in a better mood, and she also can’t help but smile. She really missed this. Her mood has lightened as well, and she feels less anxious, now that she’s sitting next to you again, in your living room, watching a movie. The movie ends and you guys sit in silence for a little while, just taking in the movie and the atmosphere around you. She eventually breaks the silence by looking over at you and asking: “What did you think?”

“I liked it, had some good jokes.” You smile slightly. Her face lights up when you tell her that you liked it. She agrees, saying that it had good jokes. She then asks, “Do you want to watch another one?”

“You choose this time.” You give her the remote. Your hands briefly touch each others as you pass her the remote. She takes it from you and starts browsing through the available titles. She’s not sure what to pick, but she wants to ensure that you both enjoy this one as well. She decides on a comedy, and she presses the button to start playing. You sit back and try to relax as the movie starts. She sits back as well, trying to relax. She’s not sure if you’re fully relaxed yet, but she wants to make it that way. She watches the film with you, trying to watch it and not thinking too much. Just wanting to enjoy being in this space with you again, even if it’s only as friends. You shift positions into a more comfortable one. She notices that you’ve shifted into a more comfortable position. She also notices that you haven’t really been looking at her at all, and she’s still wondering why. But she doesn’t let her thoughts distract her too much from watching the movie. She tries to focus on enjoying the moment and not over analyzing everything. The movie ends and you look up at her. She notices your eyes on her and she looks right back at you. She can still see that you’re a bit uncomfortable, like you haven’t forgiven her yet. But she doesn’t let it get her too down, and she focuses on the fact that you’re still sitting by her and you haven’t asked her to leave yet.

“It's getting a bit late…” You say looking at your phone. She looks at the time and is surprised that so much time has gone by already. “Oh god, you’re right, it’s kind of late.” She says with a yawn.

“I should go to bed. Talk tomorrow?” You say, as you look slightly in her direction. She nods and smiles. “Yeah, let’s talk tomorrow. You get some rest, and let’s talk things over again tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay.” You get up from the couch and open the door for her to leave and go home. She gets a small smile on her face and walks to the door. “Okay, thank you for letting me come back over. Hopefully, we can talk again tomorrow.” She stops at the door and looks back at you, waiting for you to let her out. “Good night.” She walks away and she closes the door behind her. She’s glad that you’re still willing to talk, and that you let her come back. For now she’s just going to return home, get ready for bed and try to get some rest. She hopes that she will see you tomorrow. You both get some rest and head to bed. The next morning, she wakes up early and starts getting ready for the day. She hopes that she can talk to you again and make this whole thing a little bit better. She wants nothing more than to put this drama behind you two and get back to the way things used to be.

The next day you go to class as normal. She goes to class as well, and after it’s over she decides she is going to wait for you outside the door so that she can talk to you as soon as you walk out. She hopes that you’re still willing to at least listen to her. You see her standing just by the door, waiting for you to exit. She notices you and waves at you to come over to her so that you two can talk a bit. She’s hoping that you’ll be willing to hear her out again and continue the conversation you had started yesterday. “Hi…” You say shyly. She waves at you and says, “Hi. Is it okay if we talk for a bit?”

“Sure.”, You two start walking. She walks beside you, not expecting you to be too eager. She’s just happy that you let her talk to you. She notices that you still can’t really look her in the eyes. “Can I ask you something first, just before we go?" She takes a deep breath. “Do you think we can still make this work out? Do you think that eventually you will be able to forgive me?"

“I'm not sure, Ellie, I still feel very hurt. But I don't think it is an impossibility.” You say shrugging your shoulders. She nods, feeling a bit relieved but also somewhat disheartened to hear your response. She knows that there is still a chance, but she also knows that it will take a lot of time for you to heal and to trust her again. “I know it will take time. I just needed to know that there is a chance. I know how much I hurt you, and it’s not because I didn’t care. I did care, more than anything else, but I screwed up anyway.”

“Let's not talk about those things now, okay?” You give her a small smile. She smiles back at you and nods in agreement. “All right, we don’t have to talk about those things right now.”

“Could I ask you one more thing, though? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to."

“What is it?” You ask as you walk. “I noticed that you haven’t really looked at me very much recently. Not to sound paranoid or anything, but is it because you’re trying to avoid my eyes? Is it also because of what happened?”

“I'm just not used to being with you now, I guess. It's been a long time.” You say with sincerity but that's not the only reason. She nods and thinks about your response for a moment before replying. ”I’ll try not to read too much into it. It just hurt me a little to not see you at least looking at me occasionally. But I also understand that maybe it’s just strange for you to see me again. We haven’t seen each other for a while after all.” You two walk and sit outside on a bench together. She sits down beside you on the bench and looks at you, waiting for you to say something. “We’re still talking, and that’s a good sign. Can I ask you one more personal question?”

“Yes?” You reply a bit anxious. She gets a little nervous as she realizes how personal the question she’s going to ask really is. “It is kind of weird. It’s something you really don’t have to answer if you don't want to.”

“Okay…” You respond cautiously. She takes another deep breath before asking the question. “Do you still have feelings for me? Or did you completely lose them?”

“i ... “ You got nervous as she asked it. “I think there's still something there…” You say almost in a whisper. She notices that you get a little bit nervous when she asked the question, and in response she puts her hand over yours. “I’m not asking because I want an immediate yes or no answer. If you need more time, then you can have it. I just need to know, please. Do you have any feelings left for me?” You can feel her calloused hands that you have been missing so much these past months. The size difference between your hands compared to hers is quite funny. Yours almost looks like a childs. You look at her hand on yours. “I think there's still something there…” You say quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. You continue to look down at your hands and her tattoo on her right forearm. She smiles slightly and squeezes your hand. “I’m really glad to hear that. I know this will take time, but I really didn’t want you to completely lose all those feelings. You can take all the time you need, but I’m glad we both know that you haven’t given up on us yet." You give her a shy smile. She smiles back at you, relieved. She didn’t want this whole thing to be a lost cause, and knowing that you still have feelings for her, even if they’ve faded a bit, is enough to make her at least feel a little bit better. She leans over close to you in an attempt to lighten the mood. “See? You still have a soft spot for me.”

“Don't get too cocky now.” You say playfully. She laughs slightly in response to your playful comment.

“Okay okay, I might have assumed too much. But you have to admit, there is still something here between us. You haven’t walked away and you’re still willing to talk to me. That means something.”

“I guess it does.” You look up at her. She glances up at you again, enjoying this little moment between the two of you. “Yeah, it definitely does. I’m glad that I still mean something to you.” You hold her hand back. She feels your hand grasping hers. She enjoys the feeling of your hand in hers, even just for a bit. She then squeezes your hand a little, trying to show you how much she wants to be with you. “Even though we’re not back together, this doesn’t feel so bad either, does it? We’re getting closer every day.”

You lean your head on her shoulder slowly. She feels your head on her shoulder and she feels a rush of affection. She really loves feeling close to you. She puts her arm around you, holding you tightly. It feels so good to have you back where she wants you. “I love that you’re leaning on me. I guess we are getting closer after all.” You close your eyes and just enjoy the moment for a bit. When you close your eyes, she takes this as an opportunity to get even closer. And so, she pulls you a little more towards her, and her arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you so that your bodies are touching. She still doesn’t want to push it too far, but she really wants to feel closer to you at this moment. You get butterflies as she pulls you closer. She can feel your heartbeat through your body, beating so rapidly and so strongly. She’s so close to you, she can smell your scent and it makes her feel butterflies too. She doesn’t say anything, she just wants to soak this moment in and enjoy being this close to you.

A few weeks later you were hanging out at her place. You have been getting along quite well and she hadn't messed up anything yet. You had gone out together a few times, studied together, hung out like you used to, gone on “dates”' with her, as she liked to call them. She was really putting in the effort this time. You had had a few really great days, with your time together becoming more frequent and more intimate. Just being close to her felt good, like you two used to feel. She had even started to open up a little as well. You had been taking things slow and it was going well. You still felt some pain when you thought of the past. But you can't deny that you want to go a little further with her. You're just a bit scared to make a move. You sit next to her on the couch, cuddling up to her as you watch a movie together.

You hold her hand. She feels your hand taking hers, wrapping around it tightly. She can still feel those butterflies in her stomach from just being with you. She doesn't reply in words, instead just simply squeezing your hand. It feels comforting to have you holding her hand again. You smile a bit not looking at her but at the TV. She notices that you're looking straight ahead, never taking your eyes off the screen. She finds this cute, but she decides to try to distract you just a little. With her other hand she starts to rub the palm of your hand. The rubbing of her thumb starts to lightly stroke your palm a little. You feel the butterflies appearing once more. The slight rubbing of her thumb against the palm of your hand seems to have an effect. You can feel your heart beating a little faster, so you know that those butterflies are definitely there. She smiles a little as she continues to rub your palm, wanting to see if she can make the butterflies keep coming back. She also wants to see how long until you're not able to resist her touch. You lean your head on her shoulder as you watch the movie. She smiles as you lean your head on her shoulder, she has a feeling that you're getting more and more comfortable with her again. She continues to rub your palm with her thumb, wanting to keep those butterflies around for just a little while longer.

You chuckle at the funny scene on the screen. She also lets off a little laugh as the movie scene plays out. As she laughs she continues to rub the palm of your hand a bit, wanting to keep that feeling of butterflies for as long as she can. You hold her hand a little tighter, She feels your squeeze and she smiles a little as a response. She continues to rub her thumb against the palm of your hand. It feels so nice to be so close to you again, she just wants to stay like this. As the movie ends you don't move, and neither does she. You just sit there, with your bodies pressed up next to each other. You can feel the heat coming from her and it just makes you feel so comfortable. She's waiting for you to say something, or to do something. This might be the perfect moment for you to take the next step in your reconciliation. It's all up to you. You nuzzle into her neck a bit more. As you nuzzle into her neck, she smiles and wraps her other arm around you. You can feel the warmth of her body and she feels the warmth of yours as well. It's a very calming and relaxing feeling to be close to her like this again. You're just enjoying having her like this, just the two of you, sitting, nuzzling, and enjoying each others' company.

“I missed this…” You say quietly. She smiles when she hears you say those words. It just makes her feel so happy knowing that you like being this close to her again. “I did miss this as well.” She says quietly, then she pulls you even closer and kisses your neck lightly. She’s waiting to see how you’ll respond to this, hoping that you’ll like it and that it’ll make you happy. You feel a bit caught off guard by the neck kiss. She can feel your body reacting to it and tensing up a bit, and it makes her feel so proud. You had been taking things a little slowly up to this point, but this feels like the next right step. This seems like a natural way for the two of you to have physical intimacy, and she can feel that you’re enjoying it. She pulls you a little bit closer still, wanting to get even closer to you. You look up at her a bit confused.

She sees you look up at her and she smiles at you. Her smile seems more genuine than before. She keeps kissing your neck lightly and slowly, not wanting to go too fast, but she knows what you like and where you like to be touched. She wants to make this experience as pleasurable for you as possible. You giggle as the kisses are tickling your neck. She smiles at your giggle, finding it incredibly cute. She likes making you happy, and so she continues the kisses on your neck, still waiting to see if you want more or if you want her to stop. It starts to feel like more than just mere innocent kisses as she continues. She keeps going, wanting to see how far she can take this before you pull back. She doesn’t want to go all the way and take this too far if you're not comfortable, but she wants to get to a point where she can feel confident that you’re as comfortable with this as she is with you.

You start to blush a bit. She notices this new development as you start to blush. She takes this as a positive sign that you’re liking what she’s doing and that’s really what matters to her. She keeps kissing along your neck, and then moves to softly kissing your cheeks and cheek bone. She wants you to feel this intimacy and closeness, and it feels amazing for her as well. You close your eyes as you feel her lips on your skin. She takes note of the fact that you’ve closed your eyes, and this makes her feel amazing. That you’re now so comfortable with her and your intimacy that you’ve closed your eyes for her. It makes her feel more confident, and also more loving and caring. She moves her hands to your shoulders, wanting to pull you in as tightly as possible so that it’s just the two of you sharing this moment together. You hold her as well. You wrap your arms around her as she pulls you in. You two are holding each other, cuddling up tight as you both soak in this intimate moment. She can feel the heat from your body, and it feels so amazing. She’s enjoying this as much as you are. At this point she’s not sure how much further you want this to go, but she’s enjoying every bit of being close to you again, and she’s not in a rush. The two of you stay close together for quite awhile, as she just enjoys this moment with you. It feels nice to be this close, as well as to have this level of intimacy. The two of you are truly starting to connect again, and feel like it’s the beginning of your reconciliation. Although she’s not rushing this, she also is not opposed to taking things a bit further if that’s what you want. She also knows that you probably would want to at some point, by your body language. You give her a quick peck on the cheek and lean back on her shoulder. She smiles as you give her a kiss on the cheek, and as you lean your head on her shoulder again. At this point she’s not sure just how much intimacy you want, but she will allow you to test just where your limits are. She rubs her fingers around your shoulders gently in an attempt to make you feel completely loved and cherished.

“I missed feeling like this…” You say feeling the warmth of her touch. She smiles a little at that. She liked knowing that she was able to make you feel these warm and loving feelings again. “So did I. I’ve missed being this close to you, I’ve missed feeling this kind of intimacy with you.” Her words warm your heart. She knows that the words she’s saying are things you truly want to hear. She keeps giving you words of love and affection, wanting to make you feel even more reassured about the fact that things really are okay between the two of you again. After a bit you sit back up straight, and stretch from the position you had been in, watching the movie. She notices your stretching and decides to sit up as well. She had loved having you so close, but she could see that you were getting a little bit uncomfortable after being in that position for so long. She then looks at you, not sure what to say next or if there’s anything that needs to be said at all. You sit facing her on the couch, not sure what to say. The two of you have been quiet for a bit now, just sitting there on the couch with nothing to say. She feels that this moment might be a little bit awkward, so she decides to break the silence. “So what should we do now?” She asks, deciding to switch back to one of your usual topics of conversation.

“You still have mario kart?” You ask, smiling. She smiles back when you bring up Mario Kart and says, “I do actually. I had it brought over when I was moving to campus. Do you really want to play Mario Kart with me?” She says this in a joking manner, but she’s really not joking. That was something the two of you had done many times together back in your relationship, and she’d love to do it again if you’re up for it. “I'll win, you'll see.” You say looking at her with a smug face. She laughs a little at your cocky attitude, but she also really likes it. She can’t deny that your confidence makes her even more attracted to you, even in this playful way. “Oh yeah? You think you could beat me?” She asks you with a playful grin. “I know I can.” You nudge her slightly. She smiles when you nudge her and replies, “Oh no, you did not just say that. You wanna put your money where your mouth is then? I will own you in Mario Kart.”

“Put the game on then…” You look at her teasingly. She takes that as the challenge that it is, and pulls out the game cartridge, and puts it into the console where she then turns the system on. She then selects multiplayer and gets the set-up ready. “You ready to lose?” She asks you with a playful grin, waiting for you to take the controller and get this going. “Are you ready to get absolutely destroyed?” You reply with a smirk on your face. She laughs at your confidence and replies, “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. Have you seen me play Mario Kart? I can be quite formidable.”

“I think you are forgetting my skills.” You say in a teasing manner. She smirks at your comment, feeling even more confident in her skills than before. “Are you saying that you’ve got more or better skills than I do? Because I highly doubt that.”

“Let's see then.” The race starts. When the race starts she smiles at you. She hits the gas and starts to speed up, and before too long she moves ahead of you in first place. It’s just the first lap, but she’s already off to a strong start. You throw turtles at her and get in the first place yourself. She feels one of the turtle shells hit her as you overtake her, and she ends up falling back to second place. She doesn’t let this slow her down though, and she does what she can to gain back the first spot. She still sees that there’s no way you would be able to maintain this pace, which is giving her hope. She’s not going to lose this just yet. On the last lap you were neck-to-neck. You and her battle this final lap, back and forth as you take the lead, and then she overtakes you. It almost seems like this race is being played at a constant, neck-to-neck position. She’s getting slightly more nervous now, but she doesn’t let that show. She’s determined to win this race. You drive over a speed boost and pass her, winning the race at the last minute. She can’t believe it, she tried so hard only to have you take the win at the last possible second. She feels a little betrayed, even though she knows she should just be happy for you. She doesn’t say anything as you finish ahead of her, just trying to keep her composure and trying to not let her pride and ego get the best of her.

“And now who's the better player?” You look at her teasingly. She smiles at this but can’t help but be annoyed that you’re right about being the better player. “I hate you.” She says half jokingly, but she doesn’t let this take away from the fact that she loves your confidence. “No you don't.” You get a bit closer to her. She gets a bit embarrassed when you get so close, but it still makes her happy. “Maybe not, you are a pretty good player.” She says teasingly, but she can’t deny that you really are a good player indeed.

“Wasn't so hard to admit, was it?” You say in a teasing way, getting closer to her face whilst looking at her. She feels her heart beating faster when you come even closer to her own face, and it makes her blush lightly. “No, I guess it wasn't so hard.” She admits, being fully aware that you are teasing her in a playful way, which she finds to be quite humorous. You continue to look her in the eyes. She can’t help but keep looking into your eyes too, feeling very close and comfortable with you. This was something she very much enjoyed, that intimate, closeness of being face-to-face with you like this. You start feeling the butterflies again as you look at her. Your eyes speak volumes as you look at each other. She feels the connection between you two is growing more and more as you continue to look at her like this. She notices that your heart rate seems to be increasing, as well as how you can’t stop looking at her. This is an incredibly intimate moment, with that mix of nerves due to how fast your heart rate is increasing. She's enjoying this though, seeing you become so affected by her and the closeness between you two. You shake your head and sit back straight looking at the TV. She sees that you’re now sitting straight and looking away. She feels a bit bad that she might’ve been a little bit too close and maybe overwhelmed you. She decides to sit back a bit from you, just so that you’re not feeling like she’s taking it too far too soon. She’s not trying to move too fast, so she backs away just a little.

“Want a rematch?” You look at her with a smile after a few seconds. She laughs when you ask about a rematch, but she’s not opposed to it. “Oh, so if I beat you, will you admit that I’m better?” She says with a laugh, not taking your challenge too seriously.

“I'm going to win again, you'll see.” You had a smirk on your face as you said it. She smiles at your confidence, feeling very amused by you and enjoying this playful side you’re showing. “Oh is that so? Well, let's just see about that then.” She says, ready to beat you during this rematch.

The rematch starts, and you and her are neck to neck the whole way through it once again, each of you taking the lead only for the other one to take the lead from the other again. But before too long, you manage to secure yourself the number one position, pulling ahead by just a little bit and beating her out the race once more. You laugh as you win, looking at her. “How does it feel to lose?” You tease her playfully. She laughs back at this, feeling a little bit frustrated that she’s lost twice in a row now. “Not great, I’ll admit. I had hoped I’d do a little better, but it seems you’ve got me beat.” She admits, still trying to keep her cool.

“I do, don't I?” You get closer to her again. As you get closer to her she feels a more intense feeling of butterflies rushing through her. It’s that same feeling of closeness that she felt a few minutes ago. “Yes, you really do. You’re an extremely good player, I have to admit.” She says, continuing to speak with a bit of humor in her voice.

“I’m the best really…” You say teasingly. She laughs. “Oh, you're the best? That's quite egotistical of you, don't you think?” She says in a bit of a teasing manner as well. You look at her with a teasing look in your eyes. She looks back at you, seeing the look on your eyes. She thinks it’s very cute, and she smiles at the sight. She can’t help but feel that happy with you being so close to her, and that playful look in your eyes, it’s making her feel slightly flustered.

“Oh are you blushing now?” You tease her again. She sees that you noticed her slight blush and feels a bit embarrassed, but she keeps quiet about this. She decides to just play along with you, keeping a teasing tone as well. “Maybe I am blushing a little, but I just can’t help it when I'm this close to you.”

“I'm irresistible, I know.” You look her dead in the eyes with a smile. She feels like her heart is racing as she stares back at you. It honestly doesn’t feel like she can tear her eyes away from yours. She’s feeling that same feeling of butterflies rushing throughout her, but this intense look between you two also adds another layer to this. She can feel herself get a bit more flustered. “See? You can't even answer me anymore.” You hold her chin speaking in a lower voice. The way you are now holding her chin just makes everything even more intense for her. The low voice and the way you’re looking at her makes her feel slightly breathless. She can’t find the words to speak back, as her heart races all that much faster now. You get slightly closer to her, “Cat got your tongue?”

She feels like her heart is going 120 miles per hour as you get ever so close to her. She can’t speak a single word, and can barely breathe even. Your voice is making it hard for her to focus on anything else but you and how close you are right now. She’s just staring back at you, not knowing what to do or say to this. “Maybe I should check if your tongue is still there…” You look at her lips and then at her eyes again. Her eyes widen when she realizes that you may be thinking about kissing her. She gets so flustered when you mention even the possibility of it. It’s like all her thoughts are blocked up whenever she thinks about kissing you. She tries to find her voice again but just can’t think of any reply to this. She feels her face get even hotter and more flushed the more she imagines you kissing her.

You look at her for a few more seconds before kissing her hard and pull your body to hers instantaneously, completely losing yourself in the moment when your lips touched hers. The first second of contact is an indescribable feeling. The next thing she knows, you’re pulling her into you, and she feels all of you pressed up against her while your lips are locking with hers. The sensation is overwhelmingly hot, and there’s nothing she could do to get herself out of this. She was lost in you, and she loves this feeling. You hold her face firmly as you kiss her. She feels the warmth of your lips on hers, and all thought is suddenly completely blocked out, leaving room only for pure emotion. This kiss was hot, and she didn’t want it to end any time soon. She was feeling that intense feeling of pure connection, and she just wanted more of you, she couldn’t get enough of it. As you pull her into you, she also moves her hands to your body, and your bodies become intertwined as you both feel the warmth between you two. You can feel her hands moving up and down, exploring every single inch of your skin.

Lost in the moment you straddle her on the couch, continuing to kiss her like there's no tomorrow. It’s like nothing else mattered at this moment aside from the two of you. The intensity that was rising from inside both of you made every moment a pure, unadulterated experience. She didn’t know anything anymore other than the passion that was exploding all over her. She could feel the heat inside her rising with each kiss, and as you straddled her she couldn’t have cared what anyone or anything thought of this moment that she was so lost in. You hold her hair back as you pull her in for another kiss. There’s something so intoxicating about the way you kiss her, and she can’t get enough of you. There’s nothing else that matters anymore, just you and her. Her face is so hot from the passion of this intense moment between two people who were once separated by so much, but now they couldn’t be any more connected in this moment together.

As the tension builds up you take your top off. Her breath catches at the sight of you pulling it off. Her eyes are completely locked on you, watching every single layer of clothing come off of you. The sight of this is making the heat inside her feel all the more intense. Her mouth waters at the notion of how much closer you two will become. You look at her after taking it off and go back to kissing her. She feels that same intense feeling inside of her again as she watches you take off your top that was between you two. She feels her breath catch again, as it makes the moment even more intense and much hotter. It’s almost as if her body is completely unable to do anything else other than kiss you and feel the overwhelming feelings flooding through her. You start feeling your core heating up as you two make out. You had wanted this for so long and now you just couldn't stop. Your brain could only think of one thing: Ellie.

You feel her hands on your waist and you get shivers. Her hands continue to move up and down your body, making your entire body shiver. It’s like she has this powerful control over you, and you're entirely being taken over by these intense feelings. She does suddenly get that feeling of wanting to be the one in control. She moves herself onto you and she feels that same sort of control surge through her. She’s now straddling you and leaning down to kiss you again. You look up at her as she takes control. She makes sure to maintain eye contact with you as she holds you with her weight and kisses you passionately. The control really does feel like it's hers now, and she’s taking no chances of losing it again. She’s going to stay in control as long as she can, since it feels that much more fun to be taking the lead.

You suddenly remember the way you two interacted behind closed doors. Especially in the bedroom. The power dynamic between you two used to be very intense and you loved it. Your heart starts to race as you see her behavior change so drastically. She manages to pick you up from the couch, and she puts you down on her bed, not letting go of your body the entire time. This moment has never felt more intense. Her control is now so much more powerful this way, and she feels so good being the one to be taking charge of the situation. You look up at her after she throws you on the bed. She stares down at you, looking at you very intensely that she has you under her complete control in the bed. Her expression is that of someone who intends to have her way. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to get this moment exactly how she wanted it to be.

She takes off her t-shirt to let her body feel the open air of this moment. Her eyes are still locked on you as she begins to take off your shorts. She does this very slowly and passionately, keeping an intense stare at you the entire time. You look at her not being able to get your eyes off of hers. She seems to be enjoying this power dynamic that the two of you have. She missed having you at her mercy. She’s taking as much time as she wants with you, so she can see every inch of your body. She’s not moving as quickly as she would normally, but she wants this moment to last as long as the two of you want.

At each moment she grew more and more dominant, she was enjoying this feeling very much, knowing that you were completely hers. She enjoyed the feeling of having someone under her complete control so much, she would love to keep it going just a little bit longer. She gets on top of you, pressing herself right between your legs, keeping her weight on top of you. She feels very dominant in this position, feeling that same intense feeling of butterflies inside her from before. She can see how much this is affecting you, and feels a little bit of a rush from this feeling of power. You are feeling very turned on by her. The way you felt before she got on top of you was just the beginning of how much more you would feel. Not only do you feel the dominance of her, but also the intensity of her body pressed up against yours. She was feeling very hot laying on top of you like this, and she enjoyed how much it seemed to be turning you on. The friction on your crotch is starting to make you go insane.

“Fuck…” You mumble out as she looks at you dead in the eyes. The feeling of dominance is very strong when she stares you down. She can see your face grow redder as you begin to mumble, and she knows that the feeling of her weight on you is doing something to you. Her lips meet yours once more, and you feel the same intense feeling that you felt in her eyes when she first kissed you. It’s as if your entire body was just being completely overcome with euphoria and it was the only feeling you could process. She makes out with you very intensely, but after some time passes she gets up from the bed, looking back down at you. “Take your bra off, now.” The way she commands you to take off your bra makes your heartbeat speed up just that much more. She has an extremely commanding personality, and it was clear that she wouldn’t take no for an answer at this moment. You sit up and do as she says. She watches carefully as you do what she had ordered you to do. She can notice the nervous and tense nature of your hands as they begin to slowly take your bra off. Once you were finally done, she stares right at you, with an even more intense focus than before.

She stares down at your bare chest and gets slightly more excited. She loves the sight of your body, and she can’t help but let her gaze linger. It’s like her eyes are locked on your beautiful tits, and she feels such a strong urge to kiss you again. She kisses you passionately, but what’s even more interesting for you is the feeling of her hands on your body. She seems to be roaming all over it, just exploring every inch of your skin. Then one of her hands cups your breast and starts fondling it. You feel these tiny little goosebumps come over your skin as she runs her hands all over you. She keeps her hands moving constantly, running them up along your sides, up and down your thighs, all over your body making every inch of your skin seem to shiver. You let out small moans into the kiss. As she kept kissing you, she noticed that you started letting out small moans each time. This was very intense for her, and she couldn’t help but like the sound of those soft moans coming from you. They were making her go crazy. She places her hand on your thigh and her touch feels so good against your skin. It’s almost like she’s taking over your whole body, leaving no inch untouched.

She looks at you as she moves her hand upwards. She sees that you noticed her touching your thigh, and she moves her hand. Your breath catches as her hand comes higher and higher, you keep waiting for her to stop but she keeps moving up. You look at her, trying to catch your breath. You’re trying to keep yourself from letting out too many sounds, but you can’t help but let out some soft exhales each time she goes higher. You feel the excitement rising within you, feeling every second of this moment and all of the movement of her hand. She finally reached the spot she had wanted and you feel your breath catch in your throat when she does that. She seemed to have noticed your reaction to her and you see that she smirks for a second before continuing what she was doing just now. She starts moving her fingers over the cloth of your panties, still looking at you, biting her lower lip. Her finger movements are so subtle and light that they just feel like small waves washing over that one spot, making you shiver. She can tell this is just exactly where she wants to be, and seeing you bite your lip in anticipation is making the moment so much more exciting. She can feel how aroused you are getting. She feels the intensity of your arousal slowly rising, the wet patch forming on your underwear, and the feeling of this power she had over you is incredibly intoxicating. She liked the feeling of knowing that she could make you feel this way, and she wasn’t planning on letting you go any time soon.

“Fuck…” You let out as she continues to move her fingers. The sound of your voice as you let out these little curses just makes her grin more. It’s very clear that she had hit the right spot, just as she remembered it. She gets overtaken by her feeling of control and orders you to get on your knees in front of her. She completely takes over this moment. “On your knees, now.” Her voice is not soft anymore, but raspy and demanding. Her level of dominance was through the roof, and she couldn’t take it anymore. You were hers again. It’s like she’s taking over your entire mind with her demands. Your thoughts can only really focus on one thing right now as you get on your knees in front of her, waiting to see what she’s going to do next. She sits on the bed manspreading with you right in between her legs. You have no idea what to expect, but she seems to know exactly what she’s going to do. Her legs are completely spread wide, with her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her stare is once again incredibly intense, and you can’t stop but feel excited and a little bit nervous all at once.

You look up at her eyes. Her eyes seem to be almost like she’s looking into your entire soul, and she feels more in control than ever before with your gaze focused entirely at her. She feels such a strong power over you in this moment, and she can’t help but start to let out a small smirk on her lips as she watches you keep looking at her. She holds your chin and looks at you. The way she holds your chin and looks directly into your eyes makes this feeling of intense power even stronger. She seems to be enjoying herself very much with this level of dominance over you. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” She asks, looking you dead in the eyes, still holding your chin. She looks deep into your eyes as she asks you that question, and you can already feel the pressure that the question itself is placing on you. You can tell she expects you to be a good girl now, so you better not disappoint her. You nod as she waits for your response. She can see how you nod, and that seems to be the answer she was looking for. She smiles wide and says, “Good girl.” She gives you a little kiss on your forehead as a reward for your response, but makes it clear that the expectation of you being a good girl is not going away any time soon. With her thumb brushing against your lips, it seems as though she’s just playing around with you. She seems to be enjoying taking control and playing with you, as it’s making you feel some of the most intense emotions that you’ve ever felt in a while.

“Open up.” She says in a low voice as she puts her thumb into your mouth. The moment her thumb is in your mouth, you feel a sense of euphoria that you would have never thought was possible you would ever feel again. All of the feelings that she’s been giving you up until now feel as though they are being brought to the next level. She had really taken control of this moment, and you could feel her thumb moving inside of your mouth in a way that just made it feel even more incredible than you could have ever expected. Your breath caught in such a way that you couldn’t help but let out some more of those little curses. Your lips wrap around her thumb, and you really let yourself sink into this act. After you sucked on her thumb, she kisses you again, and it feels like all of the intense emotions are just growing even further. You can feel the same kind of sensation as before, and you didn’t imagine it could be possible to have someone take over your entire body like this again.

“Now, you are going to stay right there like a good girl and I'll be right back.” She says to you as she gets up to go get something, but her final words make you wait right there as she tells you to stay put. You follow her orders the entire time she’s gone, knowing that she’ll have something else in store for you when she arrives back. You keep looking down at the ground as you await her return, still in that same position you were told to stay in. You can’t help but notice this level of dominance she was taking over you, and the way she just made you stay in this position and wait for her was really making you feel something very exciting. She comes back and praises you for not moving as she demanded. The act of staying so perfectly still when you had been told to wait made you feel incredibly good when she praised you for following her orders perfectly. You didn’t expect to be acting so perfectly submissive, but you didn’t mind one bit either. She sits on the bed and says. “Come sit on my lap. Be a good girl for me, yeah?” You immediately feel a rush as she says those words. You follow them like the good girl she demanded you to keep being, and you have no problem with doing what she asks you to do. You sit on her lap and she smiles wide when she sees that you are complying again with her wishes.

She starts lightly touching your body and tracing it with her fingers. Her light touches feel just as incredible as before as she lightly touches your chest and stomach with her fingers, tracing them all along your body and creating some of the most intense feelings that you’ve ever felt. She seemed to be enjoying herself again, finding every inch of your body and enjoying just how much she could get you to tremble under her grasp. She is loving feeling this dominance over you again. She really missed you. Her fingers now move down to your thighs, tracing around them in circles. You can practically feel the sensation of tingling, moving through your body with each touch of her fingers. You see her staring at you as you sit on her lap, and she continues to move her fingers slowly upwards. She makes it very clear that she’s looking to touch and explore just about every inch of your body. The moment her fingers get to where she wanted, your sopping cunt, you find yourself letting out another of these little curses for just how intense this all was. Her lips curl up into a smile as she sees how much effect her fingers have on you. You felt the most intense sensation when she touched your clit through the wet fabric, and you couldn’t help but let out these little sounds. The way she kept moving her fingers in tiny circles a little faster had you feeling every tiny movement. She made it so that she was really making you have another level of sensation that just made this entire experience even more exciting.

You look at her biting your lower lip. The way you bit your lower lip in reaction to this made the moment for her even more intense. You just looked like such a good girl and she still had so much further to go with you. “I'm going to make you feel good now, okay?” She said in a teasing tone as she slid your panties to the side feeling how wet you really were. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers as you felt a surge of nervousness and excitement all over you. She didn’t have to explain at all what kind of feelings she was referring to, your body already knew. The whole point of this interaction so far had been based on letting her be in control, so when she said that she would make you feel good, you knew that she would. She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches mean to you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more when she heard your moans of pleasure as she slowly inserted one of her slender fingers inside you slowly. Because of this new level of excitement that was building between you, she started to feel unstoppable. “Do you like that?” She asks. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you liked it. She starts moving her finger in and out of you a little faster as her other hand holds the back of your head so you continue to look at her. The way she kept going faster had you feel pure ecstasy as she looked you in the eyes so you know who is in charge here. “I'm going to make you feel even better, okay?” She said in a low and raspy tone. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers. Then she inserted another finger into your tight hole and started moving them even faster, curling them inside you. She hit your g spot on the first try. She knew your body too well, and hadn't forgotten one single bit.

She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches are affecting you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more because of this new level of excitement that was building between you. “Do you like that?” She asked as she kept going faster and harder. You started feeling that familiar knot in your stomach form. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly again. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you loved it. You felt like you were about to cum at any second now. She didn't stop for one second until she heard your moans as you felt your orgasm wash over you. She felt really confident as she made you cum. You couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. She slowly took her fingers from inside you and brought them up into her mouth sucking your juices. She went feral when she tasted you again after so much time. The moment she grabbed at the hem of your underwear, your eyes widened a little because she had really taken it to the next level. Up until now, it had felt somewhat familiar and maybe just a little bit intense, but this was on a whole new level. You felt yourself getting very aroused by her again. This whole time she had been making you feel this intense feeling within you, but you can tell that she wants more. She is going to fuck you until you beg her to stop. There's no going back now.

Her smirk keeps getting wider every time you react to her touch, so this was getting even more exciting for her. She had been enjoying herself the whole time, but it was still a very important thing for her to see how much this was having an impact on you as well. She lays you down on the bed, her hand still touching you as she looks down on you. You can see her looking down at you with that same wide smirk on her face, and you still don’t know how much further this will go yet. “Take them off baby girl.” She orders you to take your last remaining piece of clothing as she watches. She motions to your panties that were completely soaked at this point. You take them off slowly. You are now completely bare. Every time she sees you take your clothes off, she seems to get more and more excited. She had never expected you to show off this level of submission so soon, but she was loving every second of it. She felt this new level of power, and she is taking full advantage of it.

She looks at you with a hungry gaze as she seems to be enjoying this entire situation. Your body is completely exposed to her now, and she’s ready to take full advantage of it. You liked it, and you couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. You look up at her, waiting. She continues to look at your body, admiring it, just enjoying this whole situation way too much. Her eyes seem to be glued to you, and she wasn’t going to break that focus anytime soon. Ellie opens your legs and looks at the mess she just made of you. She feels proud of herself, but she will make you scream her name in no time. She knows it. She still knows what you like and what makes you go crazy. She remembers every touch and every spot that made you beg for her to stop. As she opens up your legs, you can feel the sensation of just how deep her power has reached over you. You are completely exposed, your body is completely bare in front of her, and you are completely in her control.

“Ellie…” You tried to speak up but then suddenly her expression changed into a serious one. “Ellie? You know that's not how you address me.” She looks a bit annoyed waiting for you to call her the same name as when you were still together. “Come on now, you know full well that's not my name…” You look up at her blushing as you remember what she liked to be called. “Do I have to spell it out? Or are you going to be a good girl?” She said in a low and raspy voice, but with a very serious look on her face. You knew how possessive she would get every time you had sex. You finally got the guts to say it out loud, so you take a deep breath and tell her what she wants to hear. “Yes daddy… Sorry daddy…” You look away from her as she gets her smirk back on her face. “Wasn't so hard was it? Good girl.” She said and you felt every hair in your body go up. Your quick apology and change of vocabulary has her smile getting even wider, as you knew she loved being called that, just as much as you liked being treated as such. She was loving this entire situation. She looks back down at you with her gaze, looking you up and down like you were some kind of an object of her own creation. Your body belongs to her now, and she was not going to let you go. She continues to look at you for a moment, before she eventually moves her finger to you. She seems to be considering something, but you can’t exactly tell what it is yet. You wait patiently for her to touch you again. She touches you lightly once again, moving her hand down to your pussy and this time, she seems to be moving her fingers a bit quicker. She seemed to be thinking what to do with you next, and you couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline with this kind of change. She looked at what she had gotten up to get when she told you to get on your knees. You recognized that box. You know what's inside it, and you can't believe this is really happening.

She notices you looking at the box and smiles as she sees your reaction to it. “You know what that is, don't you baby girl?...” You look up at her and see her eyes are filled with desire. Her pupils blown at the sight of you naked in front of her. “I’m going to use it on you now, and you are going to take it without any complaints, understood?” She said as she held your neck so you would look straight in her eyes. She squeezed it a bit to get an answer out of you. “Yes daddy…” You responded with your brows furrowed, looking at her. She gives you a passionate kiss and then pulls back leaving you wanting more. “Good girl. Don't move while daddy gets things ready, understood?” You nod instantaneously. She smiles at you with a teasing look in her eyes. She goes to her bedside table and takes out some lube from the drawer. She then takes her jeans off, still looking at you making sure you don't move. She's now only in her sports bra and her boxers. You look at her toned body and only get more aroused at the sight of her. She opens the box and takes off her strap. Your eyes widen as she does. She noticed your excitement and a smirk appeared on her face once more. She put it on and walked over to you, with your legs still wide open for her. She opens the lube tube and puts some on her deep purple strap. She always referred to it as her cock, sometimes she wishes it was real, so she could feel how hot and tight you are while she fucks you. She holds the base as she spreads the lube on her cock as she looks you dead in the eyes with a predatory look. “Are you ready for me to stretch your tight little hole?” She asks you as she lines the tip with your entrance. You look up at her and nod. She looks at you with an animalistic expression on her face. You gulp as you wait for her to move. She teases you a bit before actually pushing it in.

“Fuck… I wanted this for so long…” She says as she looks down at your cunt, ready to penetrate you. “Be a good girl and take what I give you, yeah?” She says this as she pushes it inside you slowly, making you let out moans. You weren't used to the size of her strap anymore. It hurt a little bit but it hurt so good though. When she is completely inside you she gives you a quick kiss and as she does that she starts moving her hips, thrusting into you. She loves the sounds you make but she doesn't want her neighbors to complain about it so she covers your mouth. “Shut up you slut.” Your eyes widened as she called you that name. You can't lie. You loved her dirty talk, and it just made you feel something tingle in your tummy. She started fucking into you a bit faster and she smirked at your expression as she did so. As she thrusts into you she starts losing that smirk and looks at you with predatory eyes. She starts going faster and harder, making you let out tiny sounds as her hand is still over your mouth. She is really enjoying having you like this. Like she wants. You are hers now and she'll use you as she pleases. With her other hand she holds your hips so she can thrust harder into you making you whine every time she enters you. “No making any noise, yeah?” She asks you more like a demand, as she takes her hand off of your mouth. You nod trying not to moan out loud. She smiles mischievously as she sees you struggle to stay quiet. “You know what happens when you don't do as I say, don't you?” She looks at you with a smirk on her face as she watches your facial expressions. “Yes daddy…” You respond trying not to make too much noise. “Good girl, you dont want daddy to punish you, do you?”

“No daddy, I'll be a good girl for you.” You say as she continues to fuck you relentlessly. She's feeling on top of the world having you under her like that. She missed fucking you. Especially like this. The other girls she was with when you were broken up never got to this level. She'd get tired of them. But you? She could never get tired of you. The fact that it was such a quick response made her look over at you with even more desire, and she had this look of complete control written all over her face. She continued to fuck you, and this time, she started rubbing your clit at the same time and moved her fingers even faster than before. This was her way of making you feel good, and you could already tell that you were going to enjoy yourself. You felt the knot forming again as you looked up at her still trying not to make any noise but some whimpers and little curses still escaped your mouth from time to time. She felt really proud of herself as you were getting closer to your second orgasm of the night. She continued and you couldn't take it anymore. “Can i cum daddy? Please?” You ask with pleading eyes not sure how long you'd be able to hold it in.

“I don't know… Do you think you deserve it? Have you been a good girl?” You look at her, pressing your lips together trying to stay quiet. “Yes daddy, I have.” You tell her as you feel like you're about to burst. She smiles down at you as you speak. “Okay baby girl, cum for me then. Cum all over my cock.” Ellie could swear she could feel your walls clenching around her strap. You finally let go and moan as you orgasm. It was so intense that you couldn’t not make sound. She watched you cum as her strap also hit her clit every time she thrusted. She could cum just from looking at you. “That's it… cum all over daddy's cock…” As you hear her low and raspy voice your tummy feels a bit funny. You could cum just from her talking to you like this.

As you come down from your high, Ellie starts going slower as she kisses you, trying to calm you down. She petted your hair as she called you her good girl over and over in your ear quietly. She stopped and took it out slowly, still looking at you trying to catch your breath. She gave you one more kiss and then got up, when you calmed down. She stood in front of you with her strap still on, covered in your cum. By the way she looked at you, you already knew what she wanted next, but you waited for her to say it. “Get on your knees and suck my cock clean like a good girl.” You can't resist her and her voice when she talks to you like that. You sit up and then get out of the bed. You kneel down in front of her. She looks at you the whole time with a smirk on her face. She lines it up with your mouth holding the base. “Open up…” You look up at her as you open your mouth and start sucking her cock. She swears she can feel your mouth on her. She places her other hand on your head and gently guides you as you suck all your cum off of her.

As you finish you look up at her smiling out of breath. She pets your head as she smiles down at you feeling proud of you. She then gets down to your level and kisses you passionately. “That's my good girl.” She praises you by stroking your face. You forgot how much you loved this, how much you missed her treating you like this. She loved every second but she wasn't done with you just yet. Ellie holds you by your neck softly at first, You love when she's rough with you and she loves to go rough on you, knowing you can take it. She looks you in the eye as she starts to squeeze your neck slowly. As she does, she bites her lower lip as she tilts her head back slightly, looking down on you, asserting her dominance. “I’m not done with you…” She whispers in your ear. You feel every hair in your body go up. You feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins as she continues. “I’m going to fuck you until you dont know your name anymore. Until I'm satisfied. You are my fuck toy, got it?” She said this in a very demanding and serious voice. She then looked at you with a very serious expression. You gulp and nod, looking up at her. “Good, now… Get on all fours.” She says as she helps you get on top of the bed. You do as she demanded, remembering her punishments from before. You were in deep now, and Ellie was going to have her way with you.

She watches you as you get into position. She loves when you do as she says. She gets right behind you and gives your ass a light smack. She puts on some more lube on her strap before she fucks you.she hold the base as the other hand holds your hip. “Are you going to behave? You still remember what happens when you are a brat right?” She asks as she alines herself with you and slowly pushes it in. “Yes daddy… “ You whimper as you feel her filling you up again. “That's my good girl.” She starts thrusting into you harder and harder each time. You can't help yourself from letting out some curses and moans. As she hears you she starts going faster. Her boxers are soaked by this point. Her cunt is throbbing as she fucks you. Each push bumps into her clit making her feel her own orgasm building up. You are starting to lose strength on your arms, and with each thrust you just get weaker making your arms give out on you as you land on the mattress on your face. Ellie chuckles at the sight.

“Already tired baby girl? That's too bad, I'm not done with you yet.” She says as she starts thrusting into you harder and harder, making you moan louder. She smacks your ass leaving a red mark. “Shut up slut!” She contninues fucking you relentlenslly as you try to stay silent. You whimper each time she enters you, the knot in your stomach coming undone once more. Ellie grunts as she feels the strap bumping into her clit, making her come closer and closer to her orgasm. You cover your mouth when you feel your own orgasm coming so as not to make her angry with the noise. She notices and starts going even harder on you. “Did I tell you you could cum? Hum?” She asks as she slaps your ass once more. “No daddy…” You respond biting the back of your hand, still trying to stay quiet. “Then what do you think you're doing you brat? You cum only when I let you!” She strikes your ass again. “You are going to be punished, but for now im going to fuck your tigh hole until I cum, so shut up, understood?” She continues to go harder on you, making you whimper as you try to hold your orgasm but being unable to. Not long after, Ellie feels her own orgasm wash over her too. You hear her moans and hisses as she does. “Fuck… “ Her legs start trembling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

You can feel her starting to slow down as she grips the fat of your hips so hard it hurts. She keeps grunting and moaning for a few more seconds before she finally stops fucking you and gets her strap off of you. She gives you a final smack as she stands straight. She takes off her strap and sets it aside to be washed later. When you feel her hand, you collapse on the bed. She looks at you, her eyes sparkling at the mess she made of you. She feels like she's in heaven, having you like this again for her, before her. To use you, to fuck you. She missed you so much. She would often masturbate to the thought of you, calling out your name as she looked at some nudes you had sent her, that she saved only for her own viewing. But she doesn't need to do that anymore, she has you again. All for herself.

You look at her panting, as she takes the strap off. You smile at her slightly, noticing how wet she was. She catches you staring, almost like you were drunk. All red on the face and your eyes half closed from just cumming. “What are you smiling for? I'll make that grin disappear, come here.” She says as she walks towards you. “Get on your knees.” She commands you as you still lay in bed. “Now!” She demands again and you slowly get off the bed and kneel in front of her, still half smiling, almost like you're dazed. She grabs your face and squishes your cheeks. “You think this is funny? You know your punishment right?” You gulp as you remember what she would have you do when you misbehaved. You look up at her with a worried look. “You do know.” She grins as she sees your facial expression change. “But before that, You have something else to do.” She lets go of your face as she gets up. You look up at her, Your eye level now at her hips. “Take them off brat.” She demands and you follow. You take her boxers off slowly looking up at her from time to time. You could see how wet she was. The strings of slick clinging to the fabric as you took them off. “You know what to do now, so be a good girl and clean daddy up.” You nod as you focus on her glistening cunt. You grab her thighs and take a good long lick up her slit, and you can hear her moan, which makes you smile as you continue. Your tongue moves through her folds, up to her clit, earning you some more sweet moans. You start eating her out. She places her hands on the top of your head and grabs some of your hair as your tongue works on her sensitive clit, her moans louder by the second. You want to make her cum, she would very rarely let you do what you were doing just now. She must have been really touch starved the time you were apart. You continue and move your right hand without her noticing as her eyes were closed. She continued moaning and biting her lip as you brought your hand up to her pussy. You massage her clit with your thumb and she looks down at you. “What do you think you're doing?” She asks with an annoyed expression as she pulls you by the hair to see the smirk on your face. You then move your index and middle finger up and down her folds. and go back to licking her clit. She hisses as she feels your tongue and throws her head back.

You start getting your fingers wet and ready, which wasn't difficult since she was a sopping mess. You easily pushed one finger inside her with how wet she was. You heard her moans getting more high pitched and started moving it inside her. She let you take control for a few minutes. She never gave you control. She really missed you and can't resist your touch now. You insert a second finger and she hisses. You start moving them inside her making her become even more vocal. “Fuck… Just like that… don't stop please…” This was music to your ears. You kept going, moving your fingers faster and curling them to hit her special spot. You knew you found it when she grabbed your hair harder so you continued your movements. Your tongue still taking care of her poor throbbing clit. “Fuck… that’s it… Keep going baby…” Her moans got louder signaling her orgasm was close. You continued until her legs were trembling and she pushed your head away lightly. She was panting as she looked down at you as a smile appeared on her flushed face. You sucked her juices off your fingers looking up at her. You then got up and kissed her gently as you wrapped your arms around her.

When you two broke the kiss, she held you for a few seconds before you both layed in bed together cuddling for a bit. A smirk started growing on her face. as she whispered in your ear. “Don't think I forgot about your punishment, little girl.” You look at her face, as yours lost its smile and filled with worry and anticipation. She then grabbed you and laid you over her lap, ass up. “You were a bad girl, and bad girls get spankings…” You gasped when she grabbed you so fast to her lap. As she admired your ass, she could see how worked up you got. “Look at this, did making daddy cum, make my baby girl this wet?... Naughty girl.” You blushed in embarrassment. “Look at how cute you look all flustered like this.” Her smirk grew wider as her fingers traveled to your wet folds. As she moved them you started moaning. “Does my baby want something? You'll have to ask very nicely for daddy to consider it…” She says as she looks at your flushed face, whilst still moving her fingers in your wetness. You took a deep breath as you looked at her. “Please make me cum daddy…” Her pupils blew as she heard your words. “Please use your fingers on me…” You begged once more. She continued to get her fingers wet and ready to penetrate you. She occasionally would stimulate your clit for a few seconds.

“How can I say no when my pretty girl begs me so nicely…” She says as she stuffs two fingers inside you without warning, making you gasp. She chuckles at your reaction and starts pumping her fingers in and out of you with ease. “You practically swallowed my fingers, you really wanted me to fuck you again didn't you?” She chuckles once more at your pathetic state. She inserted a third finger as she watched your hole get stretched by her. Her mouth started watering at the sight. You hissed as you felt her stretch your walls, but you couldn't deny that it felt amazing. “Fuck… look at that…” She then started pumping them in and out inside you again. “I love this daddy…” She smirks and says, “I know you do.” And it only feels like your entire body has felt something almost ethereal. She keeps going at a fast pace, and you feel the sensations growing within you. You feel yourself getting pushed to the absolute extremes, and it’s an overwhelming yet welcoming feeling. She is relentless, she’s finger fucking you so hard that you hear yourself mumbling out some curses without realizing it as the feelings keep intensifying. She was enjoying the feeling of watching you be pushed to your limit, she was enjoying your reactions so much.

She continues the momentum going, moving even quicker and faster than before. You felt even more of the intense feelings moving throughout your entire body, and it felt so much more intense than everything else that she had already done up until this point. She was starting to almost over-stimulate you. You were loving it. Your legs start to tremble as you start moaning louder, you feel that familiar knot in your belly again. She seems to be able to read your body and that you’re reaching a peak. It’s exactly what she is hoping for. For you to cum all over her fingers. You have no idea of just how much further she’s going to take you after this, but she is keeping that as a surprise. You feel your orgasm overcome you completely, not only the feeling but the whole moment as she keeps going. She is pushing your body to the limits and now, you really can’t do anything but succumb to the feeling being given to you. She can't just stop, she loves hearing like this too much. She is going to take you over the edge. Your body is feeling so much that your energy is being sucked right out of you. “Yes baby, that's it… cum for me… cum for daddy…” Her eyes sparkle as she hears the sounds you make. She'll never get tired of the sight of her fingers disappearing inside you.

You succumb to your exhaustion as she stops finally, letting you have a break and letting you breathe and relax from just how intense your orgasm was. She continues going just a little bit to keep your body under her control, but for now, she is allowing you to come down from what you just experienced. “Thank you daddy….” You say, not having the energy to move much. Your words sounded more like a breath than a complete sentence, and she smiles wide again at what you said. She was so happy to have pushed you to your limit, and now, she was letting you rest for a bit. She just keeps lightly touching you, to keep you under her influence still.

She took her fingers out of you looking at your stretched hole, proud of the state she's left you in. She then started rubbing your bare ass in circles. “Now, your punishment for earlier… How many do you think you deserve, hum?” She asked you as her other hand pulled your hair slightly. “I think 15 would teach you a lesson, don't you think?” She spoke in a serious tone now. She wasn't playing around anymore. She saw your worried face and let out a chuckle. “Pathetic.” She said as she spanked you for the first time, you winced at the pain. “Cry all you want, your spanking is gonna happen anyway.” She spanked you a second time and you let out a louder wince. She continued spanking your ass as she counted each one. Every one harder than the last. By the time there were only 5 left, you were crying, and oh how she loved the sight of you. “Only 5 more, baby girl.” She continued counting, your ass was full on red at this point and started to sting a lot. “14…” You screamed at the pain. “Only one more and your punishment is over, ready?” She lifted her hand high and prepared to hit you the hardest of all the spankings. “15!” She spanked you so hard that you screamed. “There, we’re done baby girl.”

She soothed your sore ass by stroking it gently for a few seconds. She then held you in her arms as she kissed your tears away. “It’s okay pretty girl, it's over now. Daddy is proud of you for taking your punishment so well. Let's not have to do that again, yes?” You looked up at her and nodded as your tears continued flowing. “Yes daddy…” She smiled when she heard your voice. “Good girl.” She held you as she comforted you. “Shhh… It's over now…” She rocked you a bit as you were almost in a fetal position. You stayed cuddling for some time and she covered you both with the sheets. She kissed your forehead, you were really tired, almost falling asleep. “I love you so much. You can't even imagine how much I missed you, my baby girl.” She said quietly as she hugged you tighter, pressing your body on hers. You looked up at her and gave her a gentle kiss.

She lays back beside you holding you close after that experience. The way you leant into her touch just made her feel even more comfortable to get to be this close with you again, and she didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving soon either. She keeps holding you close to her and doesn’t seem to want to let go even with this exhaustion hitting you. All you can really do now is just lay in her arms as she holds you. You let out a quiet noise of contentment, feeling your body finally getting a chance to relax after going through all of that. She continues to stroke your hair and your body, and you still continue to just lay there in her embrace. Her light touches are so comforting. It’s like the fatigue doesn’t even matter to her, she just wants you to keep feeling good and under her control. “Thank you daddy…” You mumble out from her gentle touches. Her touch is very delicate, with each stroke being so light. There wasn’t any rush for you to say more things, since the experience was so overwhelming. You actually enjoyed the spanking a bit, but you didn’t quite know why it felt so good. You just continued to lay right where you were, with her gently touching and stroking you.

You look up with a small smile, and she returns the look. You can tell that she is enjoying this time with you, because she can truly see how much of an impact she is able to make. You never thought that you would be this far gone, but she was enjoying seeing you like this, that she had pushed you so far, and you loved every second. You nuzzle into her embrace for a bit. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer to her as you nuzzle into her embrace. She continues her gentle stroking on your body with her fingers, and the warm feeling of satisfaction covers her completely. She liked the feeling of you being in her care, and she liked what she was able to make you feel. You ended up falling asleep in her arms, succumbing to your exhaustion. Ellie continued to hold you and look at you while you fell asleep. You looked so serene, she would never get tired of your beautiful face. She kissed your forehead one more time and continued to stroke you gently. “I love you so much, I never want to be without you again.” She whispered as not to wake you up. She continued to look at you lovingly until she herself eventually fell asleep too.

You and Ellie were a couple again. You were so happy to have her back in your life. She made all the effort she needed to gain your trust back again. She treated you like a princess. With all the love you deserve. As time passed you started to trust her again, and forgave her past behavior. You loved her and she loved you. That was all that mattered and as long as you had each other, Everything would be okay. She was so grateful for your forgiveness. She stopped smoking and drinking and became the Ellie you fell in love with. Her grades went up and you were so proud of her progress. She would never leave your side again, you are the most important thing in the world for her. She will do anything to never be without you again.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you liked it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you!

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #Spotify

146 notes · View notes

missmielyhoran · 1 year

Text

Nightmare

in which Harry cheated on you...

[Warning- Angst, cheating, pregnancy, Breakup, crying, Fluff, really bad grammer cause I'm tired and wrote this cause I couldn't focus on studying]

*****

Two years, seven months, eighteen days...

That's how long you knew Harry or so, you thought.

Your relationship with Harry was pure bliss. He cared for you, loved you in a way no one ever had. So, never in your nightmares you thought he would just up and break up with you only to find his arms around some blonde a week later.

It broke the worst way possible. For weeks, you stayed in your bed and ate when your best friend force fed you, which ended up in your toilet anyway.

That was almost a year months ago.

You still were very much hurt, and the sight of Harry still almost sent you down a spiral. So, when Jeff asked you to come back as tour manager, you tried to deny it, but there was a contract, and nowhere in hell did you have 10,000 laying around to break it.

So, you went back and did everything in your power to avoid Harry and his girlfriend.

But fate was never in your side.

Just a few days in tour, and you were already having a bad day. You saw a woman standing in the cafeteria with her back to you. Hair cliped up in a bun, a mask covering half of her face and her hand caressing her huge belly.

You immediately got up from your place on the couch and offered her. Her eyes squinted, which you took as a smile.

Then she removed her mask, and you couldn't breathe.

It was the same woman of your nightmare.

"Thank you so much sweetheart, can't tell you how much this pregnancy has been killing my feet," She said, huffing and laughing.

You couldn't say anything. You just stared at her belly. She was almost 7 to 8 months pregnant, you thought.

Was it an accident or did they planned it? Harry always wanted family with you, he talked and raved about having a little you and him.

Now he was having that with someone else.

You ran when you saw Harry walk in the room from the corner of your eye. You couldn't do this, you didn't care you had to fight in court or you had to pay hefty amout you to get out you just couldn't work there anymore.

Tears streaming down your face, you ran to Jeff's office and slammed open his door. He looked up from his laptop annoyed at first, then concerned when he saw your state. Then realization hit him, and his face morphed into guilt and sorrow.

"I can't do this anymore, Jeff. I can't." You cried more. He got up and took you in his arms, and you sobbed harder.

"I know. I know." He assured you his hand running up down your back consoling you.

"I understand baby, but I need you to wake up now," He said suddenly. You removed your face from his chest and looked at him weirdly, surprised by the nickname and the sentence.

"What the fu-"

"I need you to wake up Baby" He said again a bit harshly this time, his eyes a bit serious and panicked, "Y/N wake up-"

You jolted up from bed heaving. Your body was covered in sweat. Confused, you looked around and found a dark room. Moon was shining brightly from the window, and the soft buzzing of AC and your pants were filling the room.

A large hand came up to your jaw and then the brightest green eyes. Harry looked at you sweetly and smiled.

"There she is. You were having a bad dream, baby." He said softly, wiping sweat off your face. You looked down your hand immediately, going to your belly almost protectively, and Harry's followed right after.

Then you turned around and hit Harry's bicep harshly. His eyes widened, "Ow baby. That hurt." he said, holding your hands in his.

"How dare you" You said angirly, "What did I do-" He asked confused.

"How dare you cheat on me?!" You exclaimed. Harry looked at your wide-eyed and then started laughing hysterically.

At this point, you also realized how ridiculous you sounded and your face turned red with a grumpy pout. Your arms around your belly, you looked like a cute angry baby chicken.

"Oh sweetheart, what will I do of you?" He said, lovingly leaning down to take your lips into a sweet kiss.

*****

Hehehehehe...I was bored

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515

Please Like, Comment and Reblog!

I will be back with posting from next monday♡

509 notes · View notes

loviingpedri · 6 months

Text

where was i? - trent a.a

prompt: where trent redeems himself as a father.

warnings: cursing, some angst (fluff at end), grammar issues

Part 2 -> Part 1 here

my secret

you couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. she broke into tears finding out your pregnancy. she cried harder knowing she was gonna help you with your little angel.

evelyn, your best friend, the one who could do it all even held your hand while in labor. its been a year since the birth of your baby, Aria Alexander-Arnold. you adored her. practically, everyone adored her.

it was still a question who her father was. but that was your secret. you lied to everyone about aria’s last name. everyone was fooled about her name, but only you knew she was a proud alexander-arnold. people speculated trent being the father with your public relationship, he made it easier by revealing your breakup by going out with a couple friends the next night, then getting caught making out with another girl.

you never cared on what trent did. it only mattered that he just stayed out of your life. you were living your best life.

“y/n, when are you ever going to tell trent?” evelyn spoke softly as aria was still sleeping.

“i don’t know. life has been so much better with just aria and i. i’m just afraid.” you sighed in distress.

“afraid of what? i know he broke your heart, but i still would think he would want to be apart of his child’s life.”

fidgeting with your fingers, “i just don’t want to get hurt again. what if he doesn’t wanna be apart of her life. or if he takes her away from me.”

“trent is probably the sweetest guy you’ve ever dated even if the breakup was messy. i say he’s the only one evelyn-approved.”

“i’ll think about it,” finishing your sentence, a cry was heard. you both nodded at each other before getting up to comfort her. opening aria’s room door, she was already standing in her crib. her tears stopped falling and the brightest smile appeared on her face. she is the most precious thing you’ll ever need in life. “hi angel. how was your sleep?” covering her face with kisses.

evelyn walked into the room. “y/n, it’s pretty cool today. i think you should take her out. i have a meeting at work, so please enjoy the weather for me.”

“good luck, you’re gonna need it.” evelyn kissed aria on the cheek before leaving. “let’s get you dressed.” it was a mystery where you were going. yet, you needed time out of the house.

soon, both you and aria had your fall outfits on ready to fight against the cold. putting her in the stroller and locking the door, you were prepared to just go anywhere. holy shit were you freezing. walking to the cafe a few miles away, hot chocolate was much needed. placing your order and sitting down, you paid no attention to the customers walking in. mid way feeding aria a piece of a chocolate croissant,

“y/n?” you knew that voice. looking up you saw a familiar face.

“hello jude.”

“oh my god, it’s really you. bloody hell.” jude attempted to hug you, but realized the stroller. “babysitting?” he looked so confused but was trying to process where you’ve been for the past 2 years.

“no, this is my daughter. her name is aria.” you put on a smile on your face trying to play it off like it wasn’t his good friend’s child.

“daughter? y/n, you had a baby? who’s the father?” jude was no stranger to you. he had one curious mind, especially in a state of panic. “wait, sorry. that’s none of my business. i’m just happy you’re doing well. it’s been awhile since i’ve seen you.”

you nodded at him. although jude never did anything, you were just afraid of trent finding out. you needed to prepare yourself, because word is gonna get out through the national team within a few hours. “it has been awhile. how have you been? playing for madrid, yeah?”

“my blood runs is madrid now. of course, it still has some part of england in it. i’ve gotta go to practice now. i’ll keep in touch, please don’t block me on instagram.” you laughed off the joke. trent must’ve tried to see what you were doing, only to be blocked on all social media platforms.

——————————————

trent’s reveal

“man, i need to clean out this closet.” trent spoke to marcus.

“shit looks mad trent. what even happened.” marcus picked up a shirt off the ground and threw it on the other side of the closet trying to avoid the millions of piles of clothes.

“went crazy, lost of organization. i could name a lot of things.”

“went crazy after losing the love of your life. has she ever unblocked you yet?” trent was doing worse than you after the breakup. he turned into a mess after learning he couldn’t reach you anymore.

“i don’t wanna talk about it. maybe i should clean this corner, i’ve never worn clothes from this section in forever.” taking clothes from the hangers and throwing it in a bag for donation. a box was revealed. “what the hell is that?” trent picked up as marcus appeared in curiosity. trent had 0 recollection of the box being there. opening it, he almost dropped it after seeing the words, “baby alexander-arnold coming on -/—/—“ and the pregnancy test right next to it.

“what the fuck.” rashford’s mouth immediately fell.

“is this a joke? who put this here? marcus are you trying to fuck with me.”

“no man. that’s a sick joke to put on you.

trent’s mind started to fill with idea of fatherhood. he didn’t dislike the idea, but the mystery behind the box was still trying to piece together. he set the box aside. stress filled his mind. “let’s go. we’ve got practice to be at.” rashford seemed more shocked then anything. pulling his hair at the fact trent just left the topic alone like nothing.

arriving at practice, just a bit of warmups. kicking the ball back and forth. trent tried to take his mind off who put that box there. marcus taking concerned glances at him, knowing he was out of it.

suddenly, jude ran into the field.

“TRENT YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO I JUST SAW.” caught off guard, trent had no time to process what jude just said.

“what?” almost falling over since jude’s rough push of excitement and shock.

“Y/N. I SAW Y/N.” everyone’s face dropped at the sound of your name. you were loved by the national team. not to mention, the shit show behind the breakup and the reason why trent had to be at therapy for most of the season. “and you’ll never gonna believe it, but she had a baby.” the word baby rung around in his head. the news just got shocking each time.

“a baby? what?” jude nodded his head.

“she said her name is aria. she looked about one years old. mate, she kind of looked like you if i’m being honest.” the reaction of the last sentence was mixed. he wanted to be the father, but what if he wasn’t. he didn’t want it to be all in his head.

“hold on, you said 1?” harry kane joined into the conversation. seeming like he wanted to make a point. jude nodded at his question, still curious what was about to be said. “trent, when did you break up with y/n?”

“i don’t know. maybe two years ago.” it was impossible to trent that he was the father, but it was still likely.

“you broke up with her around late february. 9 months later, it would be november. mate, it’s december already. i mean, it’s very likely it’s yours.” trent wanted to pass out at that moment.

“i’ve still got access to y/n’s instagram.” saka said. pulling it up, a birthday post to aria was made. “posted on november -“

almost falling to the ground. “that was close to the date i broke up with her, just 9 months after. jude, where did you see her?”

“at ‘place’. what are you doing?” if trent kept up the same speed during the world cup, fifa would’ve upgraded his stats. he grabbed his bag and ran quicker than ever. it’s been 2 hours since jude saw you, but you couldn’t walk that far with just a stroller. trent was praying you’ll be around there.

——

parking his car and running around. he saw a face. someone who he’ll never forget.

“evelyn. where is y/n?” evelyn’s eyes widened. fuck. she wasn’t prepared for trent to know today. she saw your text saying how you saw jude. news must travel fast around here. “please, answer me. you can yell at me again, but please tell me where she is.” it was bold of him to show up in front of evelyn. he got a loud yelling session trying to use her to talk to y/n again. she could see he was desperate in his eyes. she was confused on what to do.

“excuse me while i take this call.” she patted his shoulder before walking a distance away to safely call you. trying to whisper, “y/n help. trent is looking for you. i think jude told him.”

“oh my fucking god. what am i going to do?” you tried to remain calm as possible so your baby doesn’t think of anything.

“get dressed, it’s time for aria to meet her father.”

“what?” with no questions allowed, the call ended. you grabbed aria to get ready quickly since there was no time for fighting.

evelyn walked back to trent. clearing her throat, “i don’t know what you’ve heard. i’m going to answer your question now. yes, that is your child.” the word child was ringing in his ears. he didn’t know how to react. did he want to cry or did he want to run away? “do you want to meet her.”

“of course.” he nodded quickly. he followed evelyn like a stray dog. she knocked on the door to signify that he was there. you took a deep breath. opening the door, you saw the two people who you’ve spent your entire life with. evelyn walked in, trying to give you two space. “y/n,” he wanted to hug you. you only had one arm available as aria was resting on your shoulder. aria heard the unfamiliar voice and turned to look at him. it was true, she looked just like him.

“hi trent. very nice of you to show up.” you patted your skirt to reduce wrinkles and ease the awkwardness. “this is aria.” for the first time, aria flashed a big smile at him. she was never good with strangers, but this might be different. you moved out of the doorway and urged him to come inside.

“can i hold her?” you nodded at him. easily, aria was all over him. “does she have my last name? i mean it’s totally fine if-“

“yeah, she does.” aria alexander-arnold is the only thing running through his mind. probably the only thing he’ll ever need to think about.

“y/n, i’ve been trying to get into contact with you. i mean where have you been.”

“where was i? taking care of my daughter. sorry, i didn’t wanna seem like a distraction.” the both of you knew very well what you meant by the word distraction. you could see regret running through his veins. “i just wanted to ask you, where were you? you said you wanted to get into contact, but you didn’t try harder.”

“i understand my mistakes. i’ve missed the prime of my child. nonetheless, i missed your entire pregnancy. i promise to be devoted to both of you. can we start over?”

“it’ll be hard to not say no. you are the father of my child and high school sweetheart. i think it’s better if we do start over. the three of us, as a family.”

“we’ll always be together, forever.”

from now on, there would be no secrets.

——————————————————

author’s note: check out my poll! thanks for all the support everyone.

#football x reader #football fanfic #football imagine #trent aa #trent alexander x you #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander arnold #liverpool fc #liverpool football club #jude bellingham #marcus rashford

262 notes · View notes

c0smopolitan · 2 months

Text

Welcome and goodbye part 1

A/n: This has been put off for too long😭 I had this sitting in drafts for ages because I kinda hated it but I’ve had a change of heart so here you go. Don’t know when part two will be because I’m busy with two new James fics so if I get to it, I’ll lyk. Only proofread once so probably some mistakes, if there is I will fix later. Thanks!

Summary: you find out Sirius cheated on you, but maybe there’s more to the story.

Warnings: angst, no interaction with Sirius yet, reader is sad, Sirius is sad. Sirius Black x f!reader F/n means friends name

It was hard to ignore the marauders now that you and Sirius had broken up. They were your friends too, but they were Sirius’ friends first.

James tried everything to get you to talk with him, but you think he’d gotten the hint when you slammed the door in his face.

You felt guilty but you shouldn’t. He cheated on you, and no amount of love you had for him could fix that.

F/n was starting to get worried about you. You had missed the last week of classes on the excuse that you were sick but everyone knew it wasn’t true. The news of your breakup with Sirius was everywhere, everyone knew.

“Y/n please just get up!” She groaned, grabbing your arm trying to pull you out of bed.

“I don’t wanna see him F/n.” You cry out.

She drops your arm causing you to fall back on your bed. “Cmon Y/n, please.”

You look up to see her looking at you pleadingly. “I haven’t even seen him since.” She deadpanned. You groaned.

“he’s probably just as depressed as you are." You roll your eyes. He cheated on you. He doesn’t deserve to be upset. “Ok, I’ll get up.” You sigh getting up from your bed and getting ready.

The walk to potions seemed like an eternity. Everyone was looking at you. Girls whispering to their friends about the scandal and people giving you dirty looks. When you arrive to the door everyone is already looking at you. James' eyes widen as you walk past him and sit in your normal seat.

James abruptly gets up from his seat and sits down next you. “James, not now.” You sigh. He looks at you desperately. “Please Y/n,” he grabs your hand, and you turn to look at him. “Please just let Pads explain, he won’t leave his room.”

You pulled your hand back.

He frowns at the motion but continues. “He’s gone mental and I really can’t take his late night crying anymore.” Your heart constricted in it’s chest. He’s crying over you?

You shake your head. “There’s nothing to explain,” Slughorn walks into class. “He cheated on me.”

Class ends and you quickly make your way outside. Free periods feel like your only escape now that your relationship is all everyone talks about. You make your way into forbidden forest, a place you’ve always gone to when you needed solace.

Second year was an especially hard year for you so you made a small hut where you would lie down to think.

Later on, you brought Moony after you discovered he was a werewolf.

Imagine your surprise when you find him tucked in a corner reading a book on transfiguration.

He looks up at the sudden noise and smiles at you. “Hey N/n,” He shuffles out of his position and scoots over leaving room for you to sit. “Hey Moony.” You crawl over to where he left you space and sit down.

You look at him to see him already looking at you. You groan outwardly and he laughs. “I’m not here to coax you into forgiving Padfoot,” you smile gratefully. “Although you should hear him out N/n,” You frown.

“I know you might hate him right now, but he’s not a monster. I don’t think he would purposely cheat on you.” He purses his lips. “He’s just an idiot who has a tendency of making dumb and irreparable mistakes.” He says sheepishly.

“Rem,” your frown grew deeper, “I could never hate him.” He raised his brows. “I love him too much. That's not something that's going to go away in a couple of days. I just can’t believe he would ruin our relationship for a hookup.” He winced because he knew you were right; he did ruin his relationship for a hookup.

“Hear him out love, I know you might not want to forgive him but let him explain, let him have his closure so he can stop whinging please.” He spoke exasperated and you laughed.

“Alright.”

He looked at you surprised.

“Really?” You nodded. “Yea, really.”

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in a hug. “Thank you, Y/n.” You release yourself from his hug to make your way out. You stop before you exit completely. “This is for me, not for him.” He nods and you leave the hut making your way back to school.

tags: @bruher @bullets-from-another-dimension @onyxwingsandcrowblackdreams @princessofsilverandserpents

#sirius black x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius angst #sirius black #sirius orion black #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader platonic #padfoot #prongs testing his luck #remus lupin being awesome and saving the day #copyright #no reposting as your own

121 notes · View notes

gyu-effect · 1 year

Text

i’ll marry you with paper rings || k.mg (teaser)

PAIRING || Mingyu x Female Reader

GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Marriage Pact AU, Humour, Smut

Or, in which, even twenty years later, Kim Mingyu finds himself running to your every beck and call, despite telling himself he won’t fall for you anymore.

SERIES MASTERLIST || an ode

A/N || If you want to be added in the taglist, send me an ask!

“Hi!”

Currently, the two of them were at the Food Plaza, a street completely dedicated to small food shops. According to Seokmin, he and his girlfriend enjoyed trying new food from there so it might be a great idea to take Suji there instead of a restaurant that would serve only a particular cuisine.

“So, um, Suji.” Mingyu began, immediately wishing a hole would swallow him up because of how awkwardly he sounded. “What do you eat? I mean, like, what would you like to eat? Like- Like cuisine wise?”

“Uh, about that-”

“We could have Italian if you like! Or- or, uh, my friend actually recommended me this taco place but I’ve just got to search for it a bit-”

“I’m actually allergic to a lot of food.” She cut him off, smiling at Mingyu apologetically. As he stared at her, he could feel the embarrassment sinking in even more.

Oh. Oh. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have selected a different place.” He said, trying not to sound too dejected at how his first date was going.

Why did she have to overthink so much? Why did she have to be so polite?

“Then…do you want to go somewhere else-”

“I see a Subway here, behind you. Do you mind if we eat there instead?” She asked with a smile.

He forced a smile and got up, and she followed his lead. Oh great, this Subway is only a takeaway. “Of course not. Let’s have a Subway then.”

The rest of the afternoon passed away in idle chatter. Suji was apparently a straight A student, but she had no other hobbies because she spent every single moment studying (he could understand that, really, but it was boring beyond words).They ended up talking about school and grades more than Mingyu had in his entire life and by the time they had finished lunch, his head was already throbbing.

Out of politeness he asked if she wanted to go to the amusement park but she told him she hated the amusement park, to which Mingyu had nothing to say.

He sat down on one of the wooden benches and finally let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

And he felt unhappy. Unexplainably unhappy. Like he had been forced to choose a career he hated or like he had been told to stop art altogether.

Finally, he took out his phone and dialled a very familiar number, hoping you weren't busy at this moment.

“Gyu?” You asked softly, your voice laced in worry. And that was enough to break him. He let out a sob as he screwed his eyes shut, feeling a heavy emotion wash over him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, though he himself was unsure what he was sorry about. “I’m so sorry. I just-”

“Where are you?” You cut him off gently, and he paused for a second to catch his breath.

“I’m- I’m at the park near our apartment.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes, okay? Just hang in there.”

True to your words, you were there within five minutes, and you crouched down in front of him. Gently placing your hand on his knees, you asked again, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

And all of a sudden Mingyu realised what he had been feeling, why he had felt so unhappy and what Suji had missing.

Which was a given since you were his best friend. And yet, when he was with Suji all he could think of was you. Of how you made him feel. Of how you made him feel always.

“Besides, I’ll always be there for you, you know that right?” You smiled at him.

“I promise.”

758 notes · View notes

buffyromanoff · 11 months

Text

I dont know anything but I know I miss you

Highschool AU. Natasha Romanoff x reader

Inspired by the Taylor Swift song ''Betty'', requested by @robinandnat (hope u like it!)

Word count: 1063

Summary: School is over and so is y/n and Nat's relationship...or is it?

Warnings: Teen angst, FLUFF, happy ending

Did I make the right choice? Was it truly the best for both of us? Do I still love her? Countless questions raced through your mind, tormenting you as you tried to make sense of your actions. Tears streamed down your face as you hurried home, desperate to avoid anyone seeing you in such a pathetic state. Unfortunately, hiding seemed impossible.

Whispers filled the hallways, making it clear that you weren't very good at hiding your pain. Thank god today was the last day of school cause there was no way you could survive having everyone’s eyes on you.

Nat was everything you could have ever asked for. She had this incredible way of caring for you, making you laugh, and being so incredibly smart. And let's not forget how she'd always lend a helping hand with your homework. She was the kind of girlfriend who had your back no matter what. But deep down, you couldn't help but feel like a piece of crap. How could you break her heart like this? You kept telling yourself it was for her own good, but the question tormented you: Was it really?

Lately you've been going through a strange phase, and despite Nat's unwavering support, you pushed her away. It's tough to be in a relationship when you don't even know yourself well enough, so, you convinced yourself she'd be better off without you.

As the weeks went by, you couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of missing her. You'd ask your mutual friends how she was doing, desperately seeking any news. At first, she was devastated, just like you, but somehow she managed to hold it together better than you did. Your closest friends couldn't fathom why you broke it up. "You and Nat were made for eachother y/n! You totally deserve her!" they'd say trying to lift up your confidence and self esteem. Little did they know, there was a secret you never shared, not even with Nat herself. It all started when you accidentally overheard her friends gossiping about you during lunch. They all agreed that you weren't up to Nat's level, and unfortunately, those words stabbed you in the heart.

Suddenly your phone rang. It was a text message from your mutual friend Wanda:

-I was at Nat’s today helping her set everything up for tonight and y/n……….she wouldn't shut up about you -

-Tonight? What are talking about? - You texted her, but Wanda was known for her late replies.

Your day went on as usual.

Summer used to be your favorite part of the year, but they were no fun without a lover.

Trying to distract yourself, you started the daunting task of tidying up your chaotic bedroom. This was your first real breakup and you were not handling it well.

As you were about to finish cleaning everything up, you found a neatly wrapped package.

What was in it? You had no clue. You opened it up and now everything made sense.

NATASHA’S BIRTHDAY PARTY!.

Months ago, you had tirelessly scoured every library in town looking for an old copy of a vintage book your then-girlfriend wanted but wasn't finding anywhere. You sighed. You were saving it for her birthday. How unfortunate.

Your phone buzzed: It was Wanda, finally:

-Bday party dummy. Dont tell me you forgot :/ she really misses you btw-

‘’Fuck it’’ you muttered. And without giving it much of a thought, you put on your best outfit and hopped on your skateboard, heading straight for the party.

When you passed by her house, you couldn't breathe. The house was packed with people- her friends, including those who believed you weren't right for her. What were you doing here!? Go back! Go back!- Nervousness took over your body, causing you to trip and fall off your skateboard. And of course, people laughed.

When you stood up, you saw Nat standing on the porch of her house, looking at you.

She appeared…happy?

‘y/n…I- what are you doing here?’’ she asked, attempting to hide her smile, yet her eyes sparkled with delight.

‘Happy birthday’’ you said, handing her the gift. The sheer joy on her face made you grin like a fool as she opened it.

"Oh my god! Where—how did you find it? Thank you, y/n...I don't know what to say’’.

"You’re welcome Natty’’. Wait- did you really just call her that? Who refers to their ex with a pet name?. "Well, um, have a good night, Nat." You reached for your skateboard, ready to make your exit, but she stopped you.

‘Wait!’’. She sounded desperate. ‘’You don't have to go, it doesn't have to be like this. I know you don't like me anymore but-’’ . She sniffled. ‘I miss you....please stay?’’.

Natasha didn't hate you. Natasha missed you. SHE MISSED YOU.

Your heart was racing, everyone was watching the scene and you knew there were only 2 ways this could end: You could walk away or…

In a bold move, you dropped your skateboard and, cupping her face in your hands, you kissed her.

The wooing noises and teasing remarks from her friends were making you so embarrassed but you didn't care. Nothing mattered. No one’s thoughts did. The only thing that mattered is that you loved Nat and she loved you.

--------------------

As the party came to an end, you found a quiet moment to sit down and have a heartfelt conversation with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice my friends saying those things, y/n," she expressed, clearly upset.

"What? Baby, no, it's not your fault," you reassured her, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. "I was the one who closed off and failed to communicate what I was going through... and it led to hurting you."

"Okay, hold on, no crying on my birthday," Nat interrupted, laughing softly as she gently wiped away your tears. Leaning in, she pressed a sweet kiss against your cheek. "We're together now," she whispered, her arms wrapping you in a warm embrace. "Everything will be alright, sweetie."

You mumbled a response, your voice barely audible. "What was that, hon?" her eyes filled with curiosity. "Did you like my present then?" You said.

She nodded with a smile spreading across her face. "Yes, but I like this one even more," she confessed, tightening her embrace.

Oh, how you’d missed her.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #natasha romnoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x gn!reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff highschool au #marvel fanfiction #request #fanfiction #natasha romanoff fanfiction

370 notes · View notes

pedgito · 2 years

Note

Hi can I make a request?

what about reader breaking up with Eddie and even tho he’s heartbroken he accepts it cuz they both know they really dont have anything in common besides great chemistry in bed, great sex. So Eddie asks reader if she lets him fuck her one more time before they end up things for good (very angsty and hot)

Sorry if my english is bad 😩 love your work 🫶🏻

author’s note: the way i screamed BREAKUP SEX!! when you sent this in lmao, i was really eager to write this

cw: 18+ (minors dni), fem!reader, breakup sex, lots of angst, eddie is kind of mean and cocky (rightfully so), oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms (just two lol), if i missed anything lmk!

word count: 2.6k

You tried, you really tried. Things with Eddie were great, until they weren’t—you could never mesh, find interests in the same thing, it was like forcing a shaped block into the wrong hole, you could make it fit if you forced it, but it was better to just give up, try something new. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but there was nothing left to fix.

The sex had always been good too—amazing, even. Eddie was the type of partner that worshiped in bed, took care of you, made sure that you were always the focal point. He was never afraid to try new things or let you take control, it was the only time you two could connect on a personal level; physical, mentally, emotionally—and Eddie was sweet, he always had been, it just wasn’t going to work out, it couldn’t.

Even after a few months of dating, that weird, nagging feeling in the back of your mind never went away. His music was too loud and overwhelming, you cared too much about school, and his silly little D&D club was the least important thing—in your mind. Eddie was as polar opposite as one could get it and it broke your heart.

Eddie was just as distraught—he never saw the disconnect, how much you tried and tried, but just couldn’t make it work. He was so enraptured in his own interest that he lost sight of the relationship—and he care about you, damn near loved you, but he couldn’t give up everything he loved for something he wasn’t sure he even had merit in anymore. Eddie couldn’t express how badly he wanted things to work out, but he knew your mind was set.

“You don’t even wanna try?” He asks softly, perched on his bed with his arms slung over his knees, his bare feet planted on the bed.

You tried to keep your distance, sat carefully at the edge, hands curled into one another as you rubbed the sides of your shoes together, trying to find the right words.

“We have tried, Eddie,” You reply, a mix of frustration and regret in your voice, “we’re too different.”

“I like us,” He tells you, but it felt like a lie. He liked the idea, the physical connection—and maybe it would take time, he’d never know now, “don’t you?”

“Of course,” You say passionately, “but you deserve someone who likes the same things you do.”

Eddie bows his head, curls obscuring his face as he stares down at his sheets. He’s not an emotional guy, but if he told you he wasn’t feeling that familiar sting of tears, his eyes welling up—he’d be lying.

And as stone cold as you’re trying to be, you’re not an asshole. It takes half a second before you’re crowding in front of him, forcing yourself into his lap—and it feels normal, cozy—he relaxes into the hold you have on his face, brushing his hair away from his face until he looks at you. His eyes were your favorite thing about him; deep and full of emotion, wide eyed and vulnerable.

“You do,” You reiterate, feeling his hands coming up to rest gently against your waist. He couldn’t handle you this close, it was torture, “it’s just not me, Eddie.”

His mouth opens for a moment, but he chokes on the words, swallows them back down—he can’t let you leave like this, knowing he’ll probably never speak to you again; he wants you, needs you, if you’ll have him, even if that moment is fleeting and temporary.

“What’s on your mind?” You push, watching his eyebrows crease in thought. He shakes his head.

“It’s stupid.”

“I doubt that,” You laugh softly, “talk to me.”

Eddie sighs deeply, gathering the courage to speak.

“I get that you don’t want this—that’s okay, I’m not gonna force something that clearly isn’t working,” He pauses, trying to find the right way to word things without seeming like a jerk, “I was just hoping—maybe, we could—“

“Are you asking for sex?” You interrupt with a wide smile, amused by his shyness in asking; it was nothing like him.

Eddie nods, feeling ridiculous. “Yeah—yes, I guess.”

“We are pretty good at that,” You point out, a tantalizing tone in your voice, “is that all you want?”

He wants everything, but he knows it’s impossible.

“Yeah—wanna feel good,” He tells you, his hand coming up to brush against the side of your face, his thumb rubbing at the start of your jaw, just below your ear, “want to make you feel good.”

The sex was mind-blowing—and who were you to deny that self indulgence.

You nod slowly, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you relax into his touch. Eddie leans forward, wet mouth latching onto your neck, any worry you had suddenly diminished.

“Wanna fuck you until you can’t even think straight,” He admits, nudging you head back further, allowing him more access to the sensitive skin, exploring the column of your neck, “—tell me you want that.”

“I do,” You sigh, hands leaving his face to grasp at the collar of his shirt, yanking gently at the fabric, “god—I really fucking do.”

Eddie pulls back, removing his shirt, allowing you the access you wanted, cold hands pressed against his burning hot skin, pressing him down against the mattress, silently asking him to hold off. Your shirt goes next, tossed somewhere behind you, along with your bra and some of Eddie’s assistance, his wide hand reaching behind you to unclasp it on the first try. He laughs softly, his hands kneading the soft flesh of your breasts in his palms, your mouth open in a quiet moan, denim rocking against denim, the growing outline of his cock pressing against your cunt.

Eddie groans softly, his hands covering the expanse of your thighs as you moved against him, the pressure a nice tease for what’s to come, your hands resting against his stomach, the soft drag of your fingers tickling him—he laughs suddenly, the muscles clenching underneath your hands.

“You’re so ticklish,” You comment idly, digging your fingers in slightly, but Eddie can’t take it, leaning up to switch the dynamic, rolling you underneath him, “—Eddie, what the hell?”

He leaves a soft trail of open mouth kisses down your chest, your stomach, until his lips hit the hem of your jeans.

“Need to take care of her first,” He motions to your covered cunt, the faint hint of your arousal flooding his senses, it drives him wild, “being the gentleman that I am and all.”

And who were you to deny such an experience?

“Please,” You beg wantonly, aiding in his attempt to rid you of your pants, your soft pink panties, his hand spreading you open wide, his mouth latching onto you without hesitation, your hand finds its way into his hair immediately, “—oh, okay—we’re really impatient, I guess.”

His hands squeeze at your hips, pulling you closer and closer, until you were sure he couldn’t even breathe, his face so deeply buried in your cunt, the gentle nudge of his nose against your swelling bud was just what you needed, his tongue sliding into your opening gently.

“Talk,” He mumbles, “I wanna hear you.”

Selfishly, he just wanted to remember you like this—begging, whining, being just as mouthy as you always were.

“Fuck—“ You sigh, his tongue running up the seam of your cunt, his eyes locked on yours, “I’m gonna miss this.”

It's a momentary slip, you try not to think about it too much.

Eddie nods knowingly, “More.”

His fingers come next, alongside his diligently working tongue, flicking against your clit teasingly as he slides a finger, then two, a steady pace that has you keening pleasure.

You whine softly, yanking at his hair, desperate to hold yourself off until he’s inside of you, “Gonna miss that mouth—those hands—god, those fucking rings,” Eddie chuckles softly, rubbing the face of his rings against your clit gently as he pulls away, earning a high pitched moan that surprises both of you as it rips from your chest, the contrasting cold against wet heat, “just want to feel you inside me—one more time.”

Eddie leans back abruptly, curling over you to grab at the half empty box sitting on his dresser, pulling out the roll of condoms, clinging on by their serrated edges. He rips one off, your eyes following his every move.

He palms the front of his jeans—his confidence on a high as he stared down at you, his cheeks flushed from exertion, mouth still wet with your slick.

“You think you deserve it?” He asks, voice harsh but teasing. “Because, I don’t think you do.”

You nod furiously, reaching forward the pull at his jeans, fingers looping underneath his belt. He swats your hand away with force, deft fingers working at his belt, the button of his jeans, until he can reach into his boxers and finally get a hand on himself, putting himself on full display—basking in the way you watched with jealousy, a small bit of anger, wanting so badly for him to be inside you, not teasing you with his own lingering touches to himself. But, that’s exactly what he wanted.

You’ve watched him bring himself to his own orgasm a couple times; once at your own request, the other at his, but this felt different. It was like he was mocking you, making you feel worse. Did he want you to regret this?

“How badly?” He asks, eyes half lidded as he fingers run along the underside of cock, allowing a few slow tugs at his shaft until he’s fully hard, a small string of precum leaking from the tip—you wanted to lean forward, bury himself into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat, had you gasping for air, but Eddie wasn’t going to allow that, “Tell me how badly you want it.”

You raise up on your arm, elbows resting behind you, watching his hand glide against his cock steadily, the growing pace of his chest as he breathes, becoming more and more labored.

“So badly, Eddie.” You plead, “Need to remember this, remember how good you feel—“

“—and you begging while my cock is inside of you,” His smirk is faint, “is that what you need?”

“Yes, Eddie—“ You were growing impatient, tired of the show he was putting on, it felt like humiliation, “stop—you wanted sex, right? So stop dragging it out.”

And it hurts, like a knife to his heart, shoved deep and twisted for good measure—he’s going to give you what you want, but not without making his thoughts and feelings perfectly clear.

He works the condom on silently, the growing tension in the air thick, bordering on uncomfortable—and when he finally slides into you, a shared mix of sighs—it suddenly feels like the biggest mistake in the world.

You came here to break up with him, not end up in his bed, under him, watching as he struggled to keep himself together as his hips angled slightly, thrusting up into you with fervor.

And he starts talking, spewing every last thought on his mind.

He buries his face into your neck, his hand gripped tightly on your thigh as he locks it around his hip, your hands resting gently against his shoulders as he rocks into you, “I can’t believe you want to give this up,” You hear, muffled against your skin, “after making me like you—if you knew, why—why—“

“I didn’t,” You say softly, gasping as he shifted his hips, his pace slowing slightly, “I swear I didn’t—I just—“

“Just what?” He interrupts, “Just want me to be happy?”

He leans back suddenly, fixing the angle until it’s almost unbearable, he’s resting back on his knees, your legs locked in his hands as he forced them back—he had nothing to hide anymore, wanting to watch you fall apart, a mess of tears, mumbled words, he wanted you to regret this.

“I’ve always been happy,” He admits, “I don’t need you to—to enjoy the same things I do.”

You hiccup, hand shooting up to push against his chest, or grab, you weren’t sure—you were using him as anchor.

“I’m not gonna force you to stay,” He admits, “But, I hope you remember how this feels—and know that you’ll never find anyone else like me—no one’s going to take care of you like I did.”

And he has every right to be cocky, because it’s true. Eddie was the type of man that carried you to bed when you fell asleep on the couch, be at your beck and call when you were sick, always there to serve you, unselfishly—just because he cared.

But, you’re stubborn as all hell, and you couldn’t second guess yourself. It’s what was necessary—at least, you hoped.

His thumb drags against your sensitive clit, the feeling of being stretched out and overstimulated too much to handle, and you fall apart easily, nearly sobbing at how fast your orgasm hits you.

“I’m not done.” He tells you, fucking into you at a pace that has the mattress threatening to slip away from the box spring, you hands pressed against the wall above you to keep your head from hitting the hard surface—Eddie didn’t get like this often, but it was there, it always had been.

His fingers rub against your oversensitive clit once more, giving you no recovery time at all, forcing you to compose yourself, knowing that if Eddie wanted you to come again, he was determined to make it happen.

“You can do it,” He encourages, his voice soft despite his actions, forced grunts escaping his chest as he feels himself slipping, thrusts becoming less forceful and more erratic, losing himself in his own chase for pleasure, “come with me, sweetheart.”

“I can’t.” You pant softly, shaking your head.

Eddie nods encouragingly, “You can, I know you can.”

He was relentless, rubbing deliberate circles against your clit, his thighs tensing from his own impending release, letting go off your leg he still had in his grip, pulling your hips close, imagining that maybe if he didn’t have that condom—he could just bury himself into you, pump you full and leave you with him for the rest of the day, forcing you to think about him as his come slipped out of you.

This was the last time he would ever have you, though—so it’s just a thought, one he knows will never become reality.

You come with a strained cry, desperately grabbing for Eddie’s arm as he thrust into you harshly, finally falling apart over you with the same amount of emotion, collapsing against you fully, nothing but silence as you both come down—the air was charged, intimate, and you hated it.

Eddie doesn’t say much as he pulls his shirt over his head, grabbing at his hair to pull it from where it gets stuck under the material. His mind is racing, he wants to say everything—beg you to stay, tell you to never leave, that he really does think he might be in love with you, but it never sees the light of day.

“I guess I’ll see you at school.” He says, avoiding your gaze pointedly, his back to you.

“Yeah,” You say softly, now dressed and desperate to run away—knowing that all of this was a mistake from the moment you agreed to let him have you only a half hour ago, “I guess.”

And Eddie doesn’t watch you leave, he doesn’t look at you in the halls, he can’t bring himself to endure that pain.

He doesn’t think you’ll ever come around to the idea of being with him again. Eddie knew he didn’t deserve you, like most things in his life, you were too good to be true.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #my writing #1kfic

1K notes · View notes

berrystiles · 1 year

Text

Right Where You Left Me

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

Word Count: 10.1k

Content Warnings: Angst, Lovers to strangers kinda deal ya know, some cursing.

Summary: It's the summer before you head off to college, and there's a fear about that decision that keeps creeping in. You try not to let it drown you, spending time making summer plans for your friends and with your boyfriend Steve. It feels like you can do this, and you're happy to be staring into the summer ready to make memories that will carry you into college. However, unbeknownst to you something else is brewing and Steve has plans of his own. One unexpected breakup later and your summer now looks a lot more like trying to overcome heartbreak.

Author Note: I'm the only one to read over this, so me and Grammarly are all I have regarding editing. Also, I guess this is just what I write now! Inspired by my favorite sad girl songs, if you know them I'm sure you'll see them. I have ideas for a part 2 of this if anyone would be interested? All of this was supposed to be a one-shot type of thing, but it started getting long. Part two would be a resolution as we fade into a happy ending, and get some much needed answers.

Ao3 Link - In case you want to read it there

Steve Harrington is soft smiles passed your way over the tops of all the children he babysits heads. He is weekend movie nights spent curled up next to one another on his couch, so close that you sometimes think you could become one person if you tried hard enough. He’s not your first relationship, but sometimes when you can’t sleep at night there’s a reoccurring thought that he is going to be your last. Steve has been orbiting around your life since elementary school, close but never within reach. That was the way, only knowing him through rumors passed around the halls of Hawkins High, two passing ships in the hallway between classes. This last year though has brought him into your world, no longer is he a passing comet that you stop to stare at. Now he’s yours and your mom will chide and say it’s just high school love, but you can’t imagine a world where his hand doesn’t stay attached to yours. Call it whatever you want, but something about this just feels too real. The kind of love you hear about in novels, the kind people wax poetic structures about. You’re not sure what you did in a past life, or what karma you collected over time, but you’re thankful for the universe putting the two of you together.

The only bleak part of your future with Steve comes after summer ends. You’ve just graduated, and school is expected of you in a way that you know you can’t turn down. Steve has been more than understanding, it’s a pressure he recognizes from his parents. You have no clue what you want to do but your dad swears that you’ll figure it out when you get there. You manage to get into a good school but it’s 5 hours away from Hawkins. Your parents are ecstatic, they can’t stop talking about all the ways you’re going to grow in this next phase of your life. Your parents are the people who met in college, and even though they won’t say it there’s something about you needing to attend that feels a little like them trying to relive their glory days. You love them but you’re not sure if they know you or if they really listen when you talk.

You find that if you put on a smile and nod along to what they say though it gets you through conversations faster. It’s a small price to pay so you can escape the house and rush to Steve. Steve who you hate to leave behind, sweet Steve who has been there to hold your hand and be your rock through it all. You’re not sure if you’d be able to put up with your parents’ expectations if he wasn’t there with you holding you up. You worry you put too much on him like you weigh him down the same way your parents tend to do. Sometimes you tell him your concerns, and he’s always quick to quiet the fear.

The thing with Steve is he is so soft sometimes, and yet you can’t help but feel protected in his arms. Still though, even as he brushes your hair to the side, as his lips touch yours and he peppers you with affection and reassurance, you make a vow to yourself to try and reduce how much you complain. You can’t stop the anxiety that sometimes spikes up despite his kindness that maybe this all hurts a little too much for him. After all, his family held similar expectations for him. You know that his dad is a different kind of mean and demanding than yours. Your family feels like a small-time problem when put into the perspective of Steve’s parents.

You have a mantra you follow, reminding yourself that school, as daunting as it is, is still months away. You have a whole summer to forget about it all. A whole summer of nothing but your friends and Steve. You know you’ll be right next door at the arcade, your shifts and Steve’s always lining up because of a favor Keith owed you. There are plans in place that will carry you through. There’s the drive-in and their Friday night movie deals, sunny days that will be spent at Lover’s Lake, the regular Sunday brunch at your favorite diner, and so much more. You make sure to focus on those things, knowing that all of it will be enough to get you through that first semester of school once you finally go.

However, like with most things that seem to happen in Hawkins, your good luck runs out. You hate to say it, but you didn’t see it coming. Delusional bliss is apparently where you’ve been living and the rose-colored glasses you didn’t know you were wearing are snatched off your face without a moment of hesitation. Looking back the signs will be there in glaring neon colors, and you will hate yourself for missing them. For missing them to the point that you couldn’t even backtrack to fix where your so-called perfect relationship went off the tracks.

It's a week into summer and things are not at all going to plan. Your parents are pressuring you to cut your summer short and go to school three weeks early so you can settle in for classes. And honestly, it’s not the worst idea and if you were anyone else maybe it would be appealing. However, you’re on a fixed time frame and you don’t plan to give up one ounce of time with Steve and your friends before you absolutely must. Despite schedules syncing up, there’s a distance growing between you and Steve. At the time you understand, there are kids to be driven around and then his parents unexpectedly show up back home. You don’t blame him for the distance, you take it in stride and offer your support just like he’s been doing for you. The future version of yourself, will look back and call you an idiot for not digging deeper. But why would you? In all the time, though maybe it hasn’t been that long, Steve has never once been the cause of your anxiety. Never once has he ever done anything to make you question your relationship, or whether you can trust him or not.

After a week of only seeing Steve in passing and on lunch breaks, you finally get the chance to have uninterrupted time with Steve. He catches you on a break at work and asks if you want to get dinner once your shifts end. He doesn’t carry that same glowing smile he always does when he drops these moments on you, but you brush the thought aside assuming this is the residual damage from his parents. You’re just happy at the prospect of being with Steve so you’re quick to agree, and even quicker to pull him in for a kiss to seal the deal. In your excitement, you don’t notice how this kiss doesn’t feel like a welcomed hello, and later you’ll tell yourself that it was the first sign of goodbye. But in the moment Steve is pulling away, and he’s looking at you like he's tracing and memorizing everything about you. “I’ll see you after work,” is the parting sentence before he’s jogging back to Family Video.

Steve and you meet in the middle of your two jobs, and he holds out his hand just like he always does. He leads you to his car, asking you about your day. You tell him about the party coming in, and about all the different characters of teens who came in. You prattle on and on, all the way to your favorite diner. You ask him about his day and try to get him to talk more. A quiet Steve, with eyes not shining, is a version you hate to see. You want nothing more than to pick him up, hopefully, wash off all the grime that his parents so obviously threw on him in the short week they were home. It’s always hard doing this walk and dance, the scars his parents leave him with always cut deeper than you have an awareness of. But it’s never this impossible, by the time you’re leaving the diner you’re more worried about what happened during this visit home than you ever have been. You’ve learned with Steve that when it comes to his parents you can’t poke too much otherwise, he gets spooked. Normally, he finds a way to talk about it usually when you’re both back at his place and the light is off for the night. When it’s so dark in his room that you can’t see the way his face is lined with grief, and pain that he shouldn’t have to experience. You’re so used to the pattern that you don’t mind the car ride after dinner being just the sound of the radio. It’s not unwelcomed, it’s just a part of the pieces that happen, which is why you’re surprised when Steve parks in front of your house.

“Oh, are we not going to yours?” Your brow is furrowed as you turn in your seat to face Steve. Even when you don’t stay at his place, he still is always looking at you when you turn to leave. This time though Steve’s hands are still holding on to the steering wheel, and he can’t turn to face you when he finally gathers the ability to reply. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

The radio is still on, and your ears pick up Whitney Houston singing a new song that’s been playing everywhere. “What do you mean,” your stomach feels like it’s falling right out of you and your brain is giving radio silence as you try to gain some understanding of what the hell is going on. You watch as Steve takes a deep breath like he’s centering himself before turning to face you. Every time Steve has ever looked at you it’s been with nothing but softness, an unquestioning gaze that always tells you what he’s thinking. The Steve before you though, these are eyes that aren’t that sweet look he normally gives you. Instead, this one is cold, one that you can barely recall. You have to pull at memories from his reign as King Steve to find some type of look that’s like the one you receive now.

“I just don’t think this is working,” he shrugs like this isn’t the biggest thing to ever happen before. Like he’s telling you something that should be common knowledge.

“I don’t understand, Steve.” There’s a burning feeling in the corners of your eyes. The sensation is a warning that if you don’t pull it together, you’re going to start crying. You don’t know how to pull it together because what little Steve is telling you sounds an awful like a breakup.

Steve sighs, something heavy like he’s just so tired of having to explain himself. It’s an odd sound and it rubs you raw because he hasn’t explained anything. How can he already be tired of a conversation that makes no sense?

“Look, I don’t want this to be harder than it is,” you cut him off before he can continue. “So don’t make it hard, just tell me what’s going on and why you’re saying all of this.” You don’t recognize your voice. The pleading tone sounds watery and not at all like what you know yourself to be. You don’t think you’ve ever begged someone in this way before.

“I just don’t feel the same way for you,” it’s so blunt and to the point that it leaves no room for argument.

“I don’t understand,” you’re repeating yourself and you hate that. You’re not stupid, you can usually piece things together faster than this. The phrase, ‘having the rug pulled out from under you’ rattles around in a way that suddenly makes total sense.

“I don’t know how to explain it any better. I don’t want to date you anymore. I don’t want to see you.” You didn’t realize before that the cold tone he was using still allowed for kindness. In this final statement, his words are ice, and you feel like you just took a plunge into Lover’s Lake in the middle of winter.

You have more you want to say, questions that you feel need to be asked. If you stay though you feel like you’re not going to get them, and honestly, it’s taking more energy to keep yourself together than it would be to stay. You’re not sure if you say anything else if there’s some kind of acknowledgement on your part. All you know is that your body is screaming at you to run. Staying in that car doesn’t feel like a place you belong, so you’re quick to get out. You don’t even make it to the door before Steve is peeling off and driving himself home. The action feels like the last break in any resolve you had. Your Steve would always wait until you were inside before leaving. Always telling you he'd rather know with certainty that you were safe before he ever left. It was one of those things that told you how caring he was, that showed how he loved you.

______________________________________________________________

In what will later be referred to as The Aftermath, you have the next day off. Your mom hovers at your door, knocking and knocking. The sound makes your head hurt and forces you to pull your covers over your head like it’ll drown out everything else. If you had anyone else as a mother, you might be able to convince yourself that she’s doing it from a place of concern. The truth is that this is the same woman who when you came in last night, uncontrollably sobbing and barely getting out the words ‘Steve’ and ‘broke up’, your mom was asking if this meant you’d go to school earlier like she and your father want.

The tears had stopped sometime around when you finally found yourself falling asleep. They haven’t picked back up and everything you ever learned in biology screams out you’re dehydrated. There are things you should be doing, things that you have done for yourself when other relationships ended that made it so the person you were dating was nothing more than a faded memory. Maybe if you go through the ritual of it all, the gathering of reminders, and the disposal of memories it’ll make you feel better. There should be phone calls to girlfriends, and movie nights set up to help push you through these feelings.

Instead, you continue to stay in bed. Your limbs feel like lead, weighed down and stuck, too heavy for you to move. Your curtains are drawn so tight that not even the hot Indiana sun comes through to ruffle you into motion. Your wall has your attention, and you find yourself using the texture of the paint to trace all the lines in your relationship with Steve. Maybe if you follow them to the end like a map, they’ll tell you where you are and where you go from here.

In the midst of The Aftermath, in the bed of your grief, you manage to make one phone call. Well… that’s a lie. You make two phone calls. In no surprise to the imaginary audience watching you grieve; the first call is to Steve. The phone rings and rings and rings. Steve never answers and it should be a sign. You get the standard Harrington voicemail. Steve’s mom’s voice becomes the soundtrack to your day. She tells you to leave a message, and that the family will get back to you when they can. You open your mouth, no plan on what to say but surely there’s something there in your head that will tumble out. The answering machine beep is met with your silence though, just your breath coming through, you wonder if Steve will know it’s you even if you don’t leave your name. Does he still have you memorized in all the ways that you still know him? Did he forget about you in just the span of a day? Worst thought of all, did he even really take the time to trace you down in his memory the same way you did him?

You hang up after that last thought, still no name and still carrying the hope that it could be enough. Your second call is made two hours later when there’s still no call back from Steve, even though he should be off today too. Even though, there’s a piece of your mind screaming over and over that he should have heard the silence in the message and been able to read through it. Maybe that’s unfair of you to place that on Steve, but it also feels unfair that he had the power and took action to bring you where you lay now. The second call is to Keith at the arcade, where you know he’s working since you’re off today. The favor you cashed in on is wasted because your request is for him to take back your schedule.

“I can’t work the day shift anymore,” your voice is hoarse and throat sore as the words stumble out.

“That sounds like a you problem,” you grimace as you hear Keith chewing what you know are those stupid cheese snacks he always carries around.

You hold back a groan and tell yourself your next move, while incredibly bratty, is the only way that you return to work. Your parents hate you working at the place anyway, but you like the independence, you like having your own money and you don’t want to give up another thing this summer.

“It’s going to be your problem because I’m not working any shift that overlaps with Harrington. I’ll quit.” You hate how Steve has transformed into Harrington. Hate how removed it sounds, not at all reflective of how close you had been. If you say his first name though, you know you’re going to cry.

Keith whistles, the tone way too low and drags out in a way that makes you feel a wave of creeping anger you’re not used to.

“So, you and Harrington are over then. Knew he was stupid but didn’t think he was that stupid.”

“He’s not stupid,” your defense is soft, it feels telling of where you are. It isn’t harsh in the way that it should be. It’s not your job to defend Steve anymore, he let you go from that position last night after all.

“I’ll change the schedules,” is the response you get back and it’s the nicest thing that you think Keith has ever said to you. However, you know Keith, and this feels a little too easy.

“Is there a catch?”

“Nah, just can’t afford to lose you so consider it your lucky day.” It doesn’t feel like your lucky day, but you don’t say that. Just mumble out a thank you after he tells you that your shift tomorrow will be the closing shift and Harrington will be gone by then.

True to his word, when you pull into the shared parking lot of Family Video there is no sign of Steve’s car. There’s an awareness that it won’t always be this easy, that Hawkins is too small to go all summer without seeing him. And despite Keith’s previous comments on how he couldn’t afford to lose you, there’s also a silent understanding that he’s still going to be an absolute shit about all of this for the rest of the summer. Keith doesn’t know any other way to be, and it’s a moderate price to pay for your ability to at least show up to work without breaking down.

Dustin is the first one you see in The Aftermath, and you can tell by the way he keeps glancing at you in the arcade that he already knows what’s transpired between you and Steve. You’re not sure if it’s the telltale sign of the obvious breakup look you’re sporting, or if it’s Steve’s own admittance to the teen. Could be a combination of the two though. You looked in the mirror before leaving today. You’re fully aware that you look and feel like shit, and there’s no way to sugarcoat that.

Normally, Dustin would come to chat with you. Whether he’s with the rest of the party or by himself, he always says hello. He would do it before Steve, and you hoped that he’d do it after too. Dustin doesn’t say hello though, he avoids your gaze when you catch him looking your way, and even though you know at one point, he should come to you to complain about a machine he just leaves instead. The act makes you sad, it’s the first divide between the friendships you created and thought you would get to hold on to. Dustin might be in high school now, but he’s still a kid. Rationally, a piece of you should be able to string together how his silence speaks more about how he doesn’t know what to say and less about a side he’s choosing. Reality rarely ever plays out as it rationally should, so instead Dustin just becomes the first domino that falls, and you feel like you should have known everyone else would go along with him.

______________________________________________________________

The next three weeks find you oscillating like a fan. Days spent hiding in your room, working up the courage to move and take care of yourself. Then nights of work or spent rummaging through polaroids that catalog your relationship. You always told yourself you put them in a scrapbook, something to hold the years together so in old age you’d have something to shuffle through. It sounds silly now, but the pictures sit in a shoebox of movie stubs from the Hawk, the receipt from your first date together, and the paper menu from the diner that you talked a waitress into giving you. There are notes scribbled on lined paper that were slipped into your jacket pockets when Steve would kiss you goodbye as he dropped you off at school, dried flowers from prom, and so much more. After a week of crying over the pieces, ink smudging thanks to fresh tears your body can create again now that you’re hydrated, you manage to shove the shoe box in the back corner under your bed. You had to slide it back there with the broom, but you know it’s not within reach now and that feels like progress.

You still dodge calls from your friends that you collected outside of your relationship. When they manage to catch you on the phone they whisper sweet condolences, but underneath it’s an unspoken blame of how you should have known. “He was the King of the school, he only knows how to break hearts,” your friend Val tells you over the phone one night. Val pops her gum on the other end of the line, and it sets off a chain reaction of emotions. You feel like you’re going through the five stages of grief in that moment. Val tries to invite you out and reminds you that Hawkins has more boys than just Steve Harrington. She promises you a good time, a night to help you forget all about Steve. You make an excuse and promise to go out next time, but both of you know it’s a promise you won’t keep.

Your parents seem to have set up some game plan amongst themselves. They’ve learned that they can’t tell you that your heartbreak is juvenile. Instead, they preach about how open you’ll be to new opportunities when you head to school. Your dad has the course list, where he got it from you don’t dare to ask. He tries to plan out your future over dinner, but you don’t even know what life you want for yourself. Before this you just saw Steve in the future, you had naïvely assumed you’d have time to sort out the rest. But Steve’s in the rearview now, and your parents want to know what life you plan to have in your passenger seat.

It's three weeks of juggling it all, but you still haven’t seen Steve. It should feel like the universe is still on your side, but really, it’s more of a cosmic joke. It should be finally time for some peace, instead, the world feels the need to implode again. Your parents are out of town, an annual get-together with their old college friends, and you’re home alone. It’s late, you’ve only been off work for 20 minutes when you get to the grocery store. The pantry at home is bare bones and you’ve been putting off the need to go shopping for the last three days. You’ve been supplementing meals through various fast-food restaurants on the outskirts of town. But you’re tired of driving so far away, plus the taste of grease has become less and less appealing as the days have dragged on.

The evening finds you shrugging off your name tag from the arcade and running into Bradley’s to do some shopping before they close for the night. The air conditioning hits you right as the doors open, it cools your skin in a way that summer nights never will. You close your eyes and pause for a moment, maybe you look crazy, but it’s late and you don’t anticipate anyone else is going to be poking around the store. You grab a cart and you’re on your way, trying to be mindful to be quick because you know how it feels to work a closing shift. You wander up and down the aisles of the store, with no real list in mind just grabbing what sounds good. Your diet is still in a post-break-up mode which means you’re either only consuming junk food or pushing food around on your plate still too sad to eat. Which means, it’s time to be gentle with yourself and just grab the food that calls to you. Now is not a time for healthy eating and hitting every food group on that pyramid they went over in health class.

Because of this though you aren’t paying attention to what’s in front of you. You move through the aisles of the store with your eyes on the shelves, still having confidence in the fact that it’s just you and the store clerk in here. But remember, Hawkins likes to implode both literally and emotionally. You swing your cart into the next aisle, already excited to be browsing the cereal options. You only make it a handful of steps forward, eyes already searching for the cinnamon toast crunch which you’re rarely allowed to bring into the house otherwise your mom will complain. Your cart jolts and pushes you back, and you look up to find that you’ve hit another person’s cart.

You feel silly, and your cheeks are warm in an embarrassed flush. “I’m so sorry,” the words tumble out as you drag your gaze up to see what suburban mom you’ve managed to piss off tonight. When you see who it is though you find yourself wishing it was a mom about to yell at you, instead it’s Steve, you find yourself in front of. He says your name, a hint of surprise, and what you might have previously labeled as nervous energy. You must look stupid, both of you really, just standing in silence as the hum of the grocery store lights buzz on and the radio station the store is set to plays out louder than it should. Steve’s cart is full of popcorn, and snacks that you can trace to each teen you know he babysits, there’s even Robin’s favorite chips and the beer that Eddie likes to drink. All of it slides together and reminds you that it’s Saturday, which means movie night at Steve’s.

You don’t know what to say, and you feel like a deer caught in headlights. Frozen so that you can’t even run to escape the impending collision that is about to take place. It’s Robin rounding around the corner, her voice loud and unapologetic in a way you have always admired. “Hey, dingus, should we grab some ice cream for Erica, or do you think…” her voice trails off as she catches sight of you. “Oh,” and you look to Robin, she raises a hand to give a small wave at you and smile. It’s enough to also jump Steve into movement again, saying your name and you don’t wait to see if there’s more.

You don’t say anything as you turn to leave, though maybe you should have, at least to Robin. But she’s the headlights turning off and giving you the freedom to run. You can eat another fast-food burger tonight, and you hate that you’re just leaving your cart in the middle of the cereal aisle. But you can’t, you won’t just sit there and let yourself wonder that store when it’s obviously not a safe place.

The air conditioning hits you again as you run out the doors. No time to pause this time, and you actually seek comfort in the sticky heat that greets you outside of Bradley’s. The crickets sing to you as you rush to fumble with your keys and drive away before your past tries to catch you outside. You got three weeks of no Steve, and you had been lulled into this fantasy of maybe being okay someday soon. This though, this small interaction, where you didn’t even really talk to him, has shown that you’re not close to that. When you finally manage to pull into your driveway, your hand bangs down on the steering wheel. You mumble to yourself, “that was so stupid, you just ran?”

You’ll eventually make your way into the house about 15 minutes later, after you had completely gone over the entire interaction about three times. You know it will continue to replay all night long. It’ll be inside that you realize you never even stopped to get food, too focused on seeking the safety that you can apparently only find in your room these days. Time drags on and you keep opening and closing the fridge and the cabinets hoping that food will magically appear the next time you start looking. It’s late, Bradley’s will have to be a tomorrow you type of goal. You know Steve and the group will be up late tonight which means the morning will be safe.

You’ve resigned that tonight’s dinner will be a pack of saltines you find buried in the back of the pantry when there’s a knock on your door. Your friends know not to show up unannounced, and if your parents managed to come home early, they wouldn’t be knocking. It’s Hawkins, you remind yourself as you creep to the door, but then the additional it’s Hawkins kicks in and there could be anything waiting for you. You grab your mom’s tennis racket from the closet by the front door and peek out the peephole, but your porch light isn’t on, and you can’t see anything. When you open the door, tennis racket at the ready, there’s no one there. Instead, sitting on the mat right in front of your door is three bags of groceries from Bradley’s.

The bags contain all the items you remember dumping into your cart, including the added addition of one box of cinnamon toast crunch. You can’t prove it, there’s no note, but you don’t really need it do you? There are only two people who would have had access to the cart you left behind, and only one of those two would have added in your favorite cereal. An internal debate rages inside of you, one side of you wanting to leave the food on your porch. Hoping that maybe later Steve will drive by and see it still sitting there. Maybe it will be an ounce of the hurt he's inflicted on you. The other part of you though, the part whose stomach is literally just growling at the prospect of food, wins out. You drag the bags inside and spend the night cycling between the incident in the store and what the bags of food on your porch mean.

The next day feels like a relapse, and you find yourself pacing by your phone, the internal debate to call Steve rages on in your mind. The number of times you pick up that phone and start to punch in his number is too many to count. There’s only one time when you get through the whole number, you only let it ring once before you’re slamming the phone back down and rushing off to your room. You throw yourself onto your bed, face first into your pillow, and you scream. It feels like every emotion that’s been building up since that night in Steve’s car just forces its way out of you. You spend the rest of your day in bed, Don’t Dream It’s Over plays on repeat as you stare at your ceiling and only recognize time passing by the light that streams in from your window.

When your parents come back a week later you say that you want to leave Hawkins earlier after all. They don’t even ask why you changed your mind. They don’t press the issue, which you figured they wouldn’t, but it still stings. instead, they celebrate. Your mom pulls you into her arms and excitedly tells you that it’s the second-best decision you’ve ever made. Your dad chimes in about how the first was applying to college in the first place, his hand feels heavy on your shoulder. The smile you wear feels like it was pasted on, like some macaroni art piece a kindergartener does. Your parents don’t notice though, they never do, they move on already making plans about your departure. The choice doesn’t feel right, but then again, you’re not really sure what the right choice is any more or how it should feel.

______________________________________________________________

You spend the rest of your summer forcing yourself into spaces you don’t want to be in, but it feels like you have to. You got to parties with Val, you spend summer days at the pool with your friends as you planned. It may not be all the friends that you had anticipated being with but it’s something. You feel like with each activity you do you’re adding another band-aid to your heart hoping that this time maybe it’ll stay together. There are times, like at the community pool, when you sit with your friends, and you don’t really feel there. It feels like you’re playing a part and you’ve never been a good actress, so you’re still surprised when everyone just believes it.

Time and life keep moving forward and you wish it felt like you were too, but you still feel stuck. Your parents think that time won’t start moving until you’re away at college, and your friends believe that you need to start dating someone new to feel like you’ve moved on. You don’t think any of them are right but again you’re still stuck wondering what the right move is and how it’s supposed to feel.

What you do manage is to only catch glimpses of Steve for the rest of the summer. You see him at the movies dropping the party off, and you catch him one day leaving Family Video when he’s stayed too late. There’s another day at the grocery store, where you find yourself hiding behind a display stand to avoid the awkward run-in. You see him but you don’t think he ever sees you. You’re not sure if that’s exactly what you want, but if it is then why does it still also ache? A week before you leave you seek Steve out. You spend the morning giving yourself a pep talk, you take the time to perfect your outfit and ensure that you look better than you feel. This encounter is in your control, and you want to make sure it all goes off without a hitch.

You march into Family Video. You’ve been waiting for Robin to leave for her break and for a lull in customers to happen. When all the stars align you take a deep breath, shake out the nerves and move forward with purpose. You have a week left in Hawkins and all your teen magazines have told you that if you want to start college off right you need closure.

The bell above the door rings out in a way that feels louder than you remember. You don’t let it stop you though, you move forward and watch with some satisfaction as Steve’s head pops up and surprise washes over his face. Good, you think to yourself, finally, he knows what it’s like to be ambushed. You’ve planned out what you want to say so once you’re at the counter you speak before Steve can completely derail you.

“Harrington,” the last name comes out a lot calmer than you thought it would, you feel confident. “I leave for school next week…”

“Next week?” Steve interrupts, he looks like he has more to say but you send a glare his way which is enough to have him holding back words. If you paused long enough to just stare at him, you might wonder if he's disappointed, but you don't let the silence linger long enough to notice.

“As I was saying, I leave next week for school, and you owe me some type of closure or explanation for what happened. I’ll be at the diner tomorrow night, 7 pm and I expect you to show up.” You’re proud of yourself, your voice has an edge to it that leaves no room for disagreement.

Steve just says your name and he says it in the same soft way he did when you first started dating. You feel ruffled and some of that confidence feels like it’s being washed down a drain somewhere. “No,” you interrupt him. You can feel the tension in your forehead, you know your brows are furrowed and the frown on your face is reflecting your real emotions instead of some mask you’ve been wearing.

“You just dumped me, out of the blue and you gave me no explanation. I’m leaving next week, and you owe me this. You don’t get to dump me, say that you don’t care for me, and then leave groceries on my doorstep, Steve.” Something in your words must hit a soft spot that you know Steve still has inside of him. Even if his feelings for you are long gone, Steve has always been gooey and soft like caramel on the inside.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.” You stare at him a moment longer, trying to figure out if you’re getting an honest response. Once you’re sure you are you nod and turn to leave. When you were dating you never liked saying goodbye to Steve, it was always a see you soon. Now when you leave there’s no goodbye, but it’s more because you don’t want to waste another word on him. Not when you need to prepare for tomorrow.

______________________________________________________________

The next night finds you showing up at the diner first. The waitress recognizes you and tells you it’s been a while since she’s seen you. You don’t have the heart to tell her the reason why, you just smile and walk to the booth that used to belong to Steve and you.

You don’t feel as prepared for your conversation tonight as you would like, but you do feel less fragile. Somewhere between yesterday and today, you’ve managed to slide into the anger stage of your grief. There are times when you’re not sure if you’re going to just hit Steve as soon as you hit him, or worse. Worse is that small intrusive thought that you have about kissing him one last time. It’s weird because you’re so angry, the angriest you think you’ve ever been before. You feel like a pot that was left on a burner too long, just boiling over the edge and sizzling when you hit the stove eye.

And yet, behind all that anger there’s still the part of you that loves Steve. That piece of you can’t even remember the last time you kissed. You have fuzzy memories of when it might have happened. Maybe a goodbye kiss as he dropped you off at home, something that happened underneath his comforter as you both tried to hide away from the world a little longer. Either of those or something more is possible. It’s just... how were you supposed to know you needed to remember it? You think that maybe this time if you knew it was the last, you’d feel more prepared this time. Maybe it’ll help you feel better.

You slide the salt shaker between your hands, watching as it glides over the table as smooth as butter. Another glance at the clock tells you that Steve is late, Steve who was never late to anything that had to do with you before. The heat starts to turn up, and you feel more and more like that roaring boil of the pot. Twenty minutes after the hour he was supposed to be there the bell chimes above the door.

You don’t give in to the urge to look, you watch the salt continue to glide over the table. You know already it’s Steve because that same waitress is telling him that his girlfriend is at the regular booth. Steve doesn’t even correct her, at least not that you can hear. Steve slides into his seat as easily as the salt continued to glide on the table. All the anger you felt feels like it whooshes out of you. You go from feeling like a boiling pot to a balloon that was blown up and then let go before the air could be sealed inside.

As you sit across from him, the silence stretching on like the miles on an interstate you find yourself spiraling. People, mostly your friends and parents, have implied that it was childish of you to assume that your relationship with Steve would be anything long-term. And maybe you were, maybe somewhere in it all you got swept up in teenage fantasies. Sitting across from him though reminds you how it happened. For all the pain he’s caused, Steve Harrington is still the prettiest sight you’ve ever seen.

The people of Hawkins can gather and label you as simple-minded for all you care. Slap a label on you and shelve you in the town library with all the other romance novels, you don’t care. Because for all that they say you saw yourself creating a future with this man in front of you. Sure, maybe you romanticized it all, but God… you would have married Steve if he had given you a chance.

It’s that thought that spurs you back into the anger portion of The Aftermath. Because you didn’t build your relationship up by yourself. Steve was there too, he’s the one that layered the cement for your foundation. Steve with his endless flirting, his soft compliments, his whispered promises of forever. And even at the end, Steve left you with no explanation for this exit he took. And you can’t start your journey until he finally tells you why.

“You never really gave me a why for what happened at the end. I hate that it’s been months and I can’t let go of you, and maybe I’m just oversharing here, maybe I cared more, but I have to know. Steve, what the hell happened to us?” You’re surprised how quickly the words come out, but you’re pleased that they sound so tough. If Steve is surprised that you had to break the silence, he doesn’t show it.

“We’re young, this wasn’t going to be forever.” Steve’s voice isn’t loud, but it feels like it echoes in the diner. You want to sink into the vinyl of the booth, but you know you can’t.

“See, you say that but,” you take a breath to collect yourself to figure out how you say this all. “We talked about plans, Steve.” You look up, it’s easier to stare into the fluorescents than into Steve’s eyes. Your nerves make themselves known as you feel your fingers picking at the dry skin around your nails.

“Maybe somewhere along the way, I was looking farther into the future than you were. And if I was then I guess that’s on me. But I didn’t even know forever was an option until you gave me the words to use.” You shake your head like it’ll knock away your disbelief. Your gaze drifts from the lights to your hands gathered on the top of the table now.

“There was that time,” You lay your hands flat on the table hoping the action will stop the nerves from expanding. “We had only been together for like 4 months, and it was that really rainy day?” It’s a question, a quick uptake that doesn’t need an answer. You finally look to Steve again, waiting for some recognition to spark in his mind before you bulldoze on.

“We stayed in your bed for hours, wrapped up in one another. It was the laziest and softest day we had since we started dating. And there was that moment, and you told me that you wanted pause time.” A grimace of a smile forms, and it’s a bitter laugh that accompanies it. “You wanted to stay in that moment forever, do you remember that?”

Steve, who has been so emotionless through your every moment since you broke up, seems to finally crack. You watch emotions slide out of him as you wait for a response.

“I remember.” It’s a whisper, a barely audible acknowledgment of your past. If words could hold weight though, if they could carry more than a sound, you think those two would weigh a ton. They sound heavy at least, and for once you’re happy you don’t have to offer to carry them for Steve.

“So, when did that change?” You press on, encouraged by his response.

“I wish I could tell you. I wish there was a day or a time if that would help you. It was slow, and then it was just there and so I ended it.” Steve’s response is a rush of words, and his gaze isn’t even on you. It all collides together like a car crash. And just like a car crash once the collision hits, you can’t look away from it. It feels like a tragedy, and you know you shouldn’t stare, but human nature is human nature, and you can’t change that. Maybe there’s more to say after his confession but instead, Steve leaves without saying goodbye. His departure is quick and you calling his name is the only thing that follows him.

You stay stuck in that booth for a while, Steve’s words rolling around in your head like a tumbleweed. This was supposed to be closure, but it doesn’t feel like anything has been closed. You feel like you’re trying to piece a puzzle together but some of the pieces are still missing. Steve is the only one that has them but he’s refusing to let you see them, so you don’t even know what you’re trying to put together.

A small nagging part of you feels like there’s still more to this. Like something bigger is at play. But if Steve isn’t willing to share with the class despite all your opportunities for him to do so you’re at a loss. You have to, at a certain point, accept the fact that this is an unknown portion that you’ll never get answered. You hate that, hate how bitter it tastes, but you have no other choice than to find a way to work towards it. Because if nothing else, this night has shown that you can’t keep this candle burning when someone is actively blowing it out. It’s time to snuff the flame out yourself. You want to hope that maybe it’ll be easier once there’s some distance between Steve and yourself. Maybe if you’re no longer hiding from him at the grocery store that door that feels like it’s still wide open will start to close and you can move on.

______________________________________________________________

The day before you leave feels like a round of goodbyes. You hadn’t told anyone besides Steve that you’d be leaving early. Your friends are surprised, and you smile and tell them you’re just excited. Steve had always been your secret keeper, the only one that knew the fear you had around going to college. So, you know your lie will go over smoothly with your friends, and just like you’ve been doing for the remainder of the summer your mask of ‘I’m fine’ will help sell the story more.

It's the kids and Robin that you feel the most torn on, the ones that you struggle with when it comes to a goodbye. The breakup fractured a lot of things in your life, and it feels like maybe you lost them all somewhere this summer. They were never really yours though, so how you could have lost them you’re not sure. In the end, you solidify your resolve and even if it means nothing to them it does mean something to you. You’ve already worked your last shift, and yet you sit in the shared parking lot of your former work and the only place you’re guaranteed to find everyone you need all at once. Since the mall is long gone, this is the best place to be on a hot summer day. Unless you want to share the pool water with the rest of the Hawkins. You wait, you let Steve leave for his lunch, and you take that as your moment.

There’s no speech planned, nothing too major in your goodbye. Robin’s surprised face is what greets you when she looks towards the bell ringing. A soft exclamation of surprise escapes her and she looks confused. “I don’t want to waste your time,” you find yourself telling her. This is the quietest you’ve ever seen Robin.

“I just wanted to say goodbye. I know you’re his friend, and we haven’t really talked since… Well, you know when, but sometimes you felt like my friend too and so I just wanted to say goodbye before I left and that I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you before this.”

All your words sound so unsure, and you feel like you should be phrasing questions instead of just statements.

Silence hangs over the store, and you feel like if you don’t leave it’s just going to grow more awkward. “Okay, well then.” You mumble to yourself, and you force a smile and a wave before you turn to go. You make it to the door, it’s open and you are half in the heat and half in the air conditioning when Robin finally speaks.

“I’m sorry,” it’s not what you expect, and you throw a glance over your shoulder. Her face reflects the apology she’s given you. “We were friends, it’s just-” You shake your head and interrupt.

“It’s okay, Robin. He was your friend first, I’m glad that he had you and the kids.” You smile, and it feels real this time. “Maybe when I get back for winter break, we could be friends again?”

“I’d like that.” Robin matches your smile, and her nod is enthusiastic. You wave one last time and head fully out into the heat, you’ve got one more stop right next door and then your goodbye tour of Hawkins will be over.

The kids are right where you expect them. Tangled together around one of the games, with Max behind the controls. You wait until the losing screen comes on before addressing them. Your goodbye with the kids is just as short as your one with Robin. “You know I’m kind of gonna miss watching you all hold these games hostage,” Your tone is cheerful, not at all scared like you feel inside. The kids are quick to turn around and it’s Will that matches your tone when he calls your name. Will has always been the kindest of the bunch, and he’s quick to hug your side while everyone else smiles and says hello.

Max is the one to break the greetings, always the most impulsive of the group. “What are you doing here, do you work today?”

“Uh no, actually I came here looking for you guys.” You feel like you stumble over your words, especially as Mike gives you the most suspicious look you’ve ever seen him throw your way. He’s always hard to please, but you feel like maybe you shouldn’t have added him to the goodbye tour after all.

“I just wanted to say goodbye, I know we haven’t talked this summer but still.” You find yourself shrugging as you finish talking.

“You’re leaving already?” It’s Dustin this time, and you find yourself surprised. He hasn’t talked to you since the breakup, and you assumed that would carry over to this conversation. His tone sounds disappointed, and you find yourself feeling guilty for a reason you can’t name.

“I leave tomorrow,” there’s a chorus of groans and refusals that leave the kids. Something like regret swells up because sure these were Steve’s kids first, but they were kinda yours too. You knew them before Steve and had a whole weird dynamic with them before you even knew Steve worked next door. A part of you feels like you messed up this summer by not making more of an effort with them.

“I’m sorry about this summer,” the expressions they turn your way feel like they know too much for kids who are too young to be wrapped up in your love life drama. “We’re sorry too,” Lucas tells you. “You have nothing to apologize for okay,” you look at each one of them, the look on your face leaves no room for argument. It’s always worked with the group.

“Maybe when I get home for winter break, we could all do something together?” You offer them the same olive branch that was extended to Robin. Everyone, Mike included you’re happy to note, nods their head. You find yourself ruffling Will’s hair, he’s still the closest to you. “It’s a plan,” you tell them. “I’ll let you get back to the game, make sure you keep that top spot!” Max tells you not to worry about it, a smirk already forming on her face. You give them all one last smile and make your way out of the building.

You think you’re done, and you feel as at peace as you think you can manage under the circumstances of it all. You unlock the door of your car, plans already in mind for what is left to pack up for the trip tomorrow when someone is calling out your name. You look up and find Dustin running towards you. You meet him part of the way, and he’s throwing his arms around your waist and squeezing you tight. There’s a huff of surprise that forces its way out upon the impact, but you don’t hesitate as you return the hug.

His voice is muffled, and you rub soothing circles on his back. “Dustin, I can’t understand you.” You keep your voice soft like you’re talking to a startled animal. It’s just a moment before he pulls back, and you’re met with a teary face. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you this summer,” Dustin’s words are rushed and come out as almost one sound. You find yourself shushing him and pulling him in for another hug. “You’re all good, it’s okay.”

You give him a minute to just feel his big feelings before you push him back. Your hands rest on his shoulders and you find you don’t have to bend down too far to meet his gaze. You wonder when he started getting so tall and remind yourself it was probably sometime this summer.

“Dustin, I’m not mad or upset or anything okay?” You wait for him to nod along to what you’re saying. “I’m sorry you got caught up in all this,” there’s enough stress on sorry that you think it could take off like a jet with the force you’re pushing it out. “Steve and I were the adults, you shouldn’t have been caught up in the middle, okay?”

Dustin looks like he’s going to argue, “No arguments! This was between us, and we should have made that clear.” Dustin stares at you for what feels like a minute before he nods.

“I’m gonna miss you,” is what Dustin tells you next. “Keith is never gonna be as cool as you. Whose going kick all the older kids off the games for me?” You laugh, happy to see him joking with you now.

“I’m going to miss you too, kid.” You give his shoulders a squeeze, “I’m going to give you a secret, use it responsibly, okay?” Dustin gives you an excited look and nods his head quickly, “I promise,” he says.

“If Keith gives you any trouble, just tell him that you know about Lucy.” Dustin has questions you can tell. “Keith won’t ask you to tell him, he’ll be too embarrassed. If he asks how you know, then you just tell him I told you. He’ll do whatever you want.”

There’s a part of you that feels like maybe you’ve given him too much power, but Dustin’s always been a smart kid and Keith has always been a dick to him, so you don’t feel too much remorse. Someone should be benefiting from the information anyway, and Dustin feels like the right one out of the party to hold on to the information.

“With great power comes great responsibility,” You quote to him, it’s a quip he used to tell Steve all the time before you started dating. Something from a comic book if you remember correctly.

Dustin’s smile is blinding, “You were always too cool for him you know, it’s his loss.” You smile and hope it doesn’t come off as sad as it feels. “Thanks, Dustin.”

You ruffle his hair, just like you had done to Will. Dustin bats at your hands and you push him toward the arcade, “Go spend time with your friends. I’ll see you in December.”

Dustin starts to go but turns back just as quickly. “You promise?” The happiness that had been there before has been replaced with worry again. “I pinky promise,” you hold out your pinky to show him you’re serious. Dustin comes back just to seal the promise and then waves goodbye again returning to the arcade.

The next morning, when every spare inch of space in your car is covered in your belongings, you finally feel like you could actually leave this place feeling okay. Things are not at all the way you thought they would be when the summer first started. You also still feel a weird sort of dread about attending college, but it feels like you could conquer it. If you could do this, this weird limbo break-up, then you think college can’t be that bad.

Your parents aren’t going with you. Despite their excitement and all the ways they’ve pushed you into this decision, they have both told you they feel you have to do this alone. Everything is set up for you, your dad has given you a paper with your new address on it and a credit card for emergencies. You know in both their eyes they’ve done their job as your parents. They’ve paved the way for success and now it’s your responsibility to make them proud.

It feels fitting that you leave Hawkins the same way you started the summer, all alone. You tell yourself that this is what you need. You tell yourself a lot of things as you make your way to the town line. You try not to look in the rearview mirror, too afraid that you’ll see everything you’re leaving behind and change your mind. You remind yourself it’s a few months, and that you can do this. You just hope that you aren’t lying to yourself. You may not feel happy, but you also don’t feel completely numb either. Maybe that’s the right type of progress though.

#steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #She's back at it again with another sad fic #but no one dies this time so progress #berrystiles writes #rwylm

513 notes · View notes

justmeinadaze · 9 months

Text

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 5 (Steddie X You)

A/N: I bare you a gift :)

Warning: Security Guards/ Soft Dom Steddie X Singer Sub (slightly bratty) Fem Reader, SMUT, spanking, slightly rough, pretty much just the norm :), FLUFF and ANGST! Reader is trying to do better with her vices but gets so overwhelmed she disappears abruptly and the boys need to find her, the three of them do go into details with their trauma especially the reader. My own personal trauma (like with most of my fics) leaked through a bit i.e. feeling like I'm not enough. I think that's about it.

Word count: 6862

“How are you feeling today, Y/N?”

“Annoyed.”

“Because…”

“Because I want a fucking drink. I should at least be able to have that! Do you know how hard it is for me to not have BOTH the things that made me feel better when I was fucking depressed.”

You had been on the tour now for two weeks and you were exhausted. You love singing for your fans, you really did, but after your breakup and cutting out your vices…you felt like you were drowning. Talking to Daniel helped a bit but he was getting to that part of therapy where you needed (his words, not yours) to talk about the personal things in your past that led you to drink and drugs.

You just couldn’t get there. It was like you kept running into a wall, the wall that you built to protect yourself. Even when you tried to open your mouth to talk about your family or relationships, nothing came out. Your brain froze like mental stage fright and it just made you angry.

“No, I understand, Y/N. Trust me. I’ve been where you are before. I know it’s hard.” You scoff at his response as you fold your arms across your chest. “What you don’t seem to realize is those things, drugs and alcohol… didn’t actually make you feel better. You need to find something that does and focus your energy there.”

***

“Y/N! Jesus Christ, stop! Everyone stop! What the fuck is going on!?”, Mark shouts at you as he comes out on to the stage.

“I’m fucking tired! Can we take a goddamn break?”

“Not until we get this right! Your show is in two days!”

“Get off my back, Mark! I’m doing my best!”

It took all of Eddie’s energy to not get up and defend you. To an outsider looking in, they would think you were being a brat but this asshole was pushing you and they both knew that. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do. They were your security and their job was to protect you. Mark wasn’t physically hurting you…all they could do was grit their teeth and watch as you slowly fell apart.

“Fuck this! I’m taking a 10. If you have a problem with it, call Jack.” The boys quickly got up to follow you as you headed outside and sat on the emergency stairs just near the back door. “Fuck off.”, you growled when you heard Steve sigh.

“You’re right, you know. You need a break.”

Their eyes scanned you over as your leg jumped anxiously. “Y/N, everything is going to be ok.” Eddie was trying to comfort you and you understood that but it wasn’t enough. You were spiraling. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He commanded as he descended to his knees in front of you. “I promise you. You’re safe, okay?”

“Eddie…I’m so tired.”

“I know, baby.”, he whispers.

Steve comes to sit beside you, pulling you closer to his side as you fold into yourself and begin to cry.

***

The following morning when you aren’t in bed, they assumed Mark pulled you away again without notifying them but as they hurry down to the auditorium, they notice the man pacing back and forth.

“Where is she?!”, he shouts when he notices them.

“She’s not here?”, Steve asks and Eddie immediately turns way to check his phone for your tracker.

“No! No, she’s not here! I’m fucking sick and tired of her diva attitude. Fuck her!”

“HEY! She’s the reason you have this job. Now show some fucking respect!” Steve shouts before turning to his friend. “Did you find her?”

“I think this might be broken, Harrington. It says she’s in the Atlantic.”

“Fuck me. She got on a plane. Come on.” The man tugs his arm as they run to the hotel room to hastily grab their things. As they pack, he dials your publicist’s phone number. “Sarah! Y/Ns on a plane right now. We think she’s headed to Europe. Do you know where she might go over there?”

“Fucking hell! I thought she was doing better.”

“She was…is…she’s burned out. She… she wasn’t ready for this tour.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Jack and them are always pushing her. Um…she used to talk a lot about this hotel in France. Her and her family stayed over there once when she was little.”

“My family went on vacation there when I was a kid. It was the happiest I remember us ever being. I go there sometimes when I want to be left alone. I feel safe there.”

“I know where she’s going. Thanks Sarah. I’ll keep you posted.”

###########

“I swear, sir. There is no one by that name here.”, the concierge at the front desk sighs as Steve glances towards the metalhead again.

Eddie flashes him his phone. “It says she’s here. I’m surprised she hasn’t ditched it like she did in Vegas.”

The other man’s eyes widen as a sudden thought hits him. “That’s because she wants us to find her. Um, excuse me. Is there anyone by the name of Munson or Harrington listed?”

“Actually, yes. First name Munson, last name Harrington checked into her room yesterday evening. “

***

They quietly opened the door with the key front desk gave them as Steve scanned the room. Nothing seemed out of place except for the bottles of wine and vodka spaced out on the coffee table in the tiny hotel room. This wasn’t like the usual places you stayed in.

It was much smaller with only one bedroom and living room that doubled as a kitchen. The back balcony doors were open wide and Eddie noticed a figure sitting on one of the chairs outside. They cautiously headed that way, finding you with your knees under your chin as you smoked a cigarette. Your eyes were bloodshot from tears and lack of sleep. Your hair that was usually styled in some way was haphazardly slung into a messy style bun as loose strands fell against your bare shoulders.

It was relatively warm but there was a cool breeze that allowed you to be outside with your spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants without feeling uncomfortable.

You made no movement to acknowledge them as they placed themselves in front of you, leaning against the concrete wall of the patio. Eddie casually lit his own cigarette, offering Steve one who declined.

“My parents were so excited…when we were able to afford a vacation out of the country.”, you stated in a gravelly, rough voice that tugged at their hearts as you continued to stare down at their feet. “My mom always wanted to go to Paris. ‘It’s the city of love!’.”, you smile as you mimic her enthusiasm.

“My dad got us the tickets and I remember seeing the city as we flew over…I thought it was magic.”, you giggle but a tear fell down your cheek. “We went everywhere. I mean we literally saw every touristy thing you could think of. But…what I remember most is…that first night, we stayed in this hotel. My dad ordered us food and we all curled up in the bed to watch some black and white French romance film. A song started to play and I recognized it so I started to sing along but in English.”

“My father smiled and yanked my mother off the bed so they could dance as I sang. I knew then…that’s what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to sing and make people happy like that. I think that was the one and only time they approved of my wanted profession.” Your eyes shifted towards theirs as you tried to smile. “I’m sorry. I-I-I…”

Steve shook his head and bent down to take you into his arms which you eagerly accepted, wrapping your own around his neck and legs around his waist as he carried you back inside with Eddie close behind. He sat on the couch, petting your head as they allowed you to cry.

The metalhead inspected the unopened bottles of liquor before quietly looking around the little hotel room for any more of your vices, signaling to Steve that he found nothing. After awhile the tears stopped but you didn’t want to let him go. He felt your fingers run through his hair behind his head absently as you nuzzled your nose into his neck.

“It’s ok, baby girl. You’re safe. It’s alright.”, he cooed. “Do you think you can move to Eddie’s lap so I can make some phone calls. Let people know you’re safe.” Your head hung as you pulled back and climbed over to the other boy as you pouted. “Hey…you trust me, right?”

“They’re going to be so angry with me.”, you whispered in a small voice.

Steve placed his fingers under your chin and lifted your eyes to face him. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

They both smile at your answer as he rises from the sofa. Leaning your forehead into the nook of Eddie’s neck and shoulder, you gently run your palm along his chest. It wasn’t sexual and he understood that. Any other person may think you were trying to flirt or making a move but he knew. This was your way of grounding yourself; making sure they were still there in the moment with you.

You had fallen into a little girl mind set but it wasn’t for pleasure. It was self-preservation. They knew how to identify which was which and were happy to take care of you in either instance.

“Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, sweetheart. I’m not mad at you. I’m worried about you; we both are.”

Your gaze shifts to Steve who was now pacing in the bedroom with the phone to his ear.

“Yeah, we found her…No, Jack, she’s not alright. You guys are pushing her too hard. She’s exhausted… First off, don’t cuss at me. We just spent all night trying to get to her and I’m not in the mood. This wouldn’t have happened if you and Mark would listen to her. She’s a person, not a cash machine… Fine. Fire us, but we’re still not going to drag her back. Not until some changes are made and she takes a break.”

“I’m not going to let him fire you.”, you murmur.

“Hey, don’t worry about that right now, okay? Is it alright if I ask you some questions?” You nod as he holds you tighter to his body. “Why did you place all these bottles on the table?”

“I…I wanted some. I really did but I couldn’t. I took them out t-t-to see them. I needed to see all of them.”

“Why, sweetheart?”

“Because…I used to drink all this…in one night. I-I-I thought maybe if I saw it front of me, it would help…stop me. Daniel said I should focus my energy on something else so…when I look at the bottles, I think of something else.”

“What do you think about?”

“You two.”

His soft brown eyes met yours and he knew instantly you were telling the truth.

“Hello, front desk? Yes, for the Munson Harrington room, can you make sure no one disturbs us besides faculty. We don’t want any phone calls or unexpected visitors…Yes, sir. If anyone other than myself or my friend Mr. Munson asks don’t tell anyone we are here…thank you.”

“He’s assuming if he won’t tell them where you are then they will start hunting for us and since our names are on the room, they could ask which one. This way now if they do, the front desk won’t give them anything.”, Eddie explains. “Baby, I see the bottles but I have to ask, have you hidden any drugs for later or anything like that?”

“No, sir. I promise. Do…do you need to look at my eyes?”

The fact that you were being so open with him was slightly jarring but, again, he understood. They made you feel safe and you wanted to continue making them feel like they could trust you as much as you trusted them.

“No, sweetheart. I trust you. Would it be alright with you if I got up to move these bottles so you don’t have to keep looking at them?” You nod but as he adjusts you so he can stand you continue to cling to his shirt. “Alright, hey, it’s ok. Follow me.”

He takes your hand and pulls you towards the bedroom, playfully twirling you into Steve’s side who silently grins as he dips you before tugging you back up with one arm. Eddie fades away into the background as you hold the other boy to you.

“Ok, I think that’s everyone and Sarah said she would release a statement for you regarding the shows this week. She said if you need more time just let her know.”

“I like Sarah.”

“Me to.”, Steve grins down at you sweetly. “Have you eaten anything today?”

When you shake your head, he nods before lifting you into his arms, carrying you to the kitchen, and setting you down on the countertop.

“You know, I’m looking through this cabinet like I can read any of the French here.”

His tone makes you giggle as you point to a piece of paper beside him.

“That’s the menu for the hotel. They have some really delicious French toast.”

“Yeah? Let’s try it.”

After you three ate, everyone crashed. When you arrived at the hotel, you had been so anxious you couldn’t lie still long enough to get any kind of sleep. The guys had immediately hopped a plane when they had an idea of where you were and were so concerned about your wellbeing, they hadn’t slept either.

When you finally woke up, you felt so much better and less heavy with your worries. It was dark outside but the lights illuminated the city as people walked around the Paris streets. Both men were still knocked out beside you so you snuck into the living area with an idea as you began situating the space.

##########

“Eddie. Steve.”, you whispered as you gently shook their arms.

“Huh? Wha? What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to show you something. I also ordered some lunch/dinner for us since it is a little after nine.”

Your breathy chuckle and calmer tone cause them to open their eyes fully as they drink you. Physically you did look a lot better. You had changed into a new set of pajamas and your hair was now down around your shoulders. Your energy as a whole seemed much less erratic than when they had first walked in and that made them both extremely happy.

They rolled out of bed, reaching for some sweats to be more comfortable before following you out of the room. Their mouths fell open at the sight in front of them as you opened your arms in a grand gesture. You had taken some of the couch cushions and pillows, creating a makeshift fort with extra sheets thrown over to finish the design. The little tv the hotel room came with was pushed in front of it with food and drinks on the nearby table.

“Y/N, what--”

“I thought it might be fun. The guide on the tv says their also about to play a movie I really like.” You shift your weight from one foot to the other as you look towards the floor. “I wanted to do something for you…to say thank you for coming all this way. It’s not enough, I know, for all the trouble I caused but…it’s all I could think of in the moment…especially since this means a lot to me…like you two and what you just did for me.”

Steve’s hand reached out and brought your lips to his, letting you go so Eddie could do the same.

“What’s the movie called?”

“Amélie. I love it. It’s about a woman who tries to help people find their happiness while also finding love.” You grin like giddy schoolgirl making them smile with you.

You three devour the food concierge brought up as the movie played. They were completely entranced by it and occasionally mimicked the young actresses French as they tried remembering words for later. For a couple of hours, you forgot you were a famous singer and they were your security. You forgot that just a few hours ago you were falling apart and one bad decision away from opening the wine in the hotel.

For a couple of hours, you were a tourist in a hotel room with two men you really cared about and seemed to genuinely care about you.

“That was amazing. How have I never heard of this movie before?”

“Because you have never heard of most movies, Steven.”, Eddie laughs. His eyes shift over your frame essentially checking in and reading your body language. “May I ask you something, sweetheart? What was the song you sang when your parents danced?”

You softly smile as you get to your feet and run in the bedroom to get your phone. Ella Fitzgerald’s beautiful, soulful voice flows through your speakers as you place it on the couch and reach for Eddie’s hand.

“Let's fall in love Why shouldn't we fall in love? Our hearts are made of it Let's take a chance Why be afraid of it?”

Placing your palms on his bare shoulders, you both danced to the music.

“My mother loved music like this. She actually wasn’t a big fan of TV so anytime my father was out she would turn it off and play her records.”, you giggled. “God, and Ella always had the most gorgeous voice.”

“She really does. I feel like I should be wearing a shirt.” He smiles when you laugh harder, pulling him closer to you as you rest your chin near his head.

“I remember once she played her album while she was cooking, waiting for my dad to come home while I sat on the counter and watched her move. She was swaying while she was singing and I thought she looked so beautiful… then she turned around with this big smile and said ‘Now see, that woman is a singer. You’ll never be as good as her I’m afraid, baby.’”

You heard Steve rise from the floor and you detached from Eddie to dance with him.

“Let's close our eyes And make our own paradise Little we know of it Still we can try to make a go of it.”

“It wasn’t just with music…that was just my biggest disappointment to them. When I was growing up, I was too fat or too thin, not dressed right, or I didn’t speak properly. They always acted like I embarrassed them. The first time I was arrested was actually when I was 16. I got caught at a party drinking with bunch of other kids. My dad hit me and said I was stupid. That I may as well become a whore because there was no way I was getting into college now. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I never wanted to go anyway.”, you chuckled but Steve just held you closer to his chest.

“We might have been meant for each other To be or not to be, let our hearts discover.”

“I can’t do this. It’s too hard.”, you whisper as you push away from him and try to head for the bedroom.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Eddie quickly grips your wrist. “Don’t run from it, Y/N. You’re doing really good. Just…let go.”

“Let me go, Ed.”

“Fuck them.” Your head turned to look at Steve. “Y/N, fuck them. If they can’t see how amazing and talented you are then fuck them.”

“You…you don’t understand.”

“Oh? Not being good enough for your parents. Your right I would have no idea what that’s like. My dad still calls me 24/7 commanding I come home to give up this ‘childish job’ and run is obnoxiously boring and bland as fuck company. When I was in high school, he always wanted me to be MVP and a straight A student but freshman year when I figured out that didn’t matter I just coasted by. Little did I know that would just make him worse. After I graduated, I said fuck them. I’ll do what makes me happy. My dad still thinks he can change my mind but…”, Steve shrugs.

“I wasn’t good enough for my father either. So much so he left me with my uncle and ended up in jail. Supposedly, he complains about me in there. I’m a ‘pansy fucking pig’ now or some bullshit. I’ve explained a thousand times I’m not a cop but it doesn’t matter.”

“You still talk to him?”

“Sometimes…”, Eddie sighs. “Not as much as I used to.”

“Where’s your mom?”

The metalhead crosses his arms over his chest as he shifts his gaze to the floor. “She, uh, she died a long time ago.”

“What about you?”, you ask as you focus your line of questioning on Steve again.

“My mom follows my dad around like a puppy. Honestly, I think she’s afraid of not having the money and lifestyle he provides her.”

You exhale heavily as you sit on the couch, fidgeting with your fingers. “The, um, the first time I drank excessively was after I was signed to my first label. I called my family and I told them thinking maybe this would prove to them I am good enough to make it. One of the many times I would think that while moving up in my career.” You roll your eyes before continuing. “My dad said ‘Wow. Amazing. Hey, did you hear that they renewed that show your mom and I like for a new season? Pretty cool.’”

Eddie and Steve came to sit on either side of you as they listened to you speak. When you froze, they tried to urge you to continue.

“What about the drugs? When did that start?”

“Simon.”, you chuckle under your breath. “Three years ago…my mom and I got into a fight because I invited her to come visit me for the billionth time and they both came up with some excuse. I was drinking but it wasn’t enough so…” Your eyes met Steve’s before turning to find Eddie’s. “You both are actually the first people to walk into my life and not use me or be toxic.”

“Give us time. I’m sure we can be toxic if we tried.”

“Munson, oh my god. Shut up.” Steve reached over to playfully swat at his friend making you laugh.

“Why aren’t you guys taken? Do you get into bad relationships to?”

“Yes and no. Stevie here has gotten the bulk of bad relationships.”

His eyes met yours as he softly smiled down at you, throwing his hands up in slight surprise when you crawl into his lap.

“I’m sorry, Steve.”

The man heavily sighs as his palm reaches up to pet your head. “It’s alright. I mean, it is what it is.”

“I haven’t…been with anyone…since what happened with Simon. I wouldn’t hurt you both like that. I…I really like you. I like the way…I feel with you.”

“And how is that?”, Eddie asked with a gentle tone.

“Safe. Protected. Cared for.”

“We do care about you. Very much.”, Steve cooed as he kissed your forehead.

“Can you show me? Show me how much you care about me.”

“Are you sure you’re up for that? You’ve been through a lot these past few days.”

You nod vigorously as your lips land on his neck, tenderly kissing along the skin of his throat.

“Hey, hey…” Lightly tugging on your hair, he pulls you back to look at him as his voice changes to a more authoritative one. “What’s the rule? When we ask you something…”

“I verbally answer. I’m sorry, Steve. Yes, yes, I’m up for anything as long as I’m with you two.”

He flashes you a comforting smile before shifting your body till your legs were straddling either side of his and your back was to his chest.

“Good girl, baby. Lean back and get comfortable.”

You do as he suggests, placing a kiss on his cheek before resting your forehead against it. His palms roam you along your arms to your knees and back up between your thighs.

“You’re so beautiful, honey. Isn’t she beautiful, Ed?”

“Gorgeous.” The hand closest to him reaches out to caress his face as he turns into your touch and kisses your hand.

Steve’s fingers grip the bottom of your shirt as he lifts it over your head and tosses it aside. The feeling of him rubbing his strong, palms along your tummy and just under your breasts sets you ablaze. You could sit like this forever and be happy. Eddie scoots closer and you lightly moan when you feel his lips kiss your shoulder, down to your tits.

Your legs start to close to relieve the pressure building in your core but they are both faster, each hand keeping you open as the metalhead wraps his mouth around your nipple. Throwing your head back, Steve’s lips meet your own as his tongue dances with yours. Feeling him shift slightly, you gasp out a groan when his hand massages your other breast, his fingers gliding over the erect bud as Eddie’s tongue plays with the one on his side.

“Fuck…”

“Does that feel good?”

Your nose grazes his as you nod. “Yes. Fe-feels really good.”

“Is that why your grinding your hips?”, he chuckles.

“Can I take off my shorts, please?”

Eddie’s mouth released its grip on you with a satisfying pop as he trailed up your body to the side of your neck.

“Oh, Steve. She said please. How can we say no when she’s being so polite?” Hooking his digits into the waistband of your pants and panties, you lift your hips, allowing him more mobility to pull them down your legs.

His head tilted to look at you as he reached between your thighs to spread open your pussy lips.

“Jesus. Pretty girl is so wet already.”

As soon as the pads of his fingers graze your clit, you know you aren’t going to last long.

“Please…”

“Please what, princess?”

“Touch me.”

“I am touching you.” Your eyebrows furrow in frustration at his answer and Eddie promptly grabs your cheeks, turning you to face him. “No attitude. No whining. If you can’t tell me…why don’t you show me what you want.”

As if to help you, Steve grabs your wrist and places your hand where his friend’s had just been. Sliding your fingers through your slick, you push two into your sex, leaning back again as you moan. It’s not enough, not even close. You need their long, thick fingers to reach the places you can’t. Your eyes meet the metalhead’s as you silently plead for him to get the message.

“Need something?”

“You. I need your fingers inside of me. Please.”

Placing his lips gently on your own, he takes over what you are doing and effortlessly glides his digits into you. Eddie thrusts into you at a quick, brutal pace as your arm wraps around Steve’s neck to cling to his hair.

“You have to be open with us, Y/N. Always. We can’t automatically know what you want.”

“I-I figured—fuck—I thought you would…know what I need. Wh-what’s best for me?”

Your surprised when you hear them both chuckle.

“That’s a whole different level of trust, sweetheart. I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I’m sorry.” His rhythm slowed then as he scanned you over. “That…that I haven’t given you enough of a reason to trust me yet. I’ll do better. I promise.”

“Baby…” Your heart broken little girl voice was tearing them apart. Steve kissed your temple as Eddie used his free hand to brush some of your hair back. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. We do trust you. You’ve gotten so much better at proving that to us since we met you.”

“What he means is, he doesn’t think you’re ready to let go and trust us like that.”

“But—”

“Sweetheart, it’s not a bad thing or anything you should be ashamed of. We just…after everything you’ve been through with people commanding you around and hurting you…”

“I wouldn’t have asked you here, if I didn’t feel comfortable letting go and trusting you.”

“To be fair, you didn’t ask. You led and we followed.”

Gripping Eddie’s wrist, you moved his hand from between your legs and climbed onto his lap, cupping his cheeks forcefully in your hands.

“Tonight, I’m letting go. I told you to show me how much you care about me. No reservations, no holding back.” When they glanced at each other, you roughly moved his face to focus back on you. “I said…show me.” His chocolate eyes glare into your confident ones before you’re abruptly lifted from behind and carried to the bedroom.

You were so entranced by the other boy that you didn’t even notice Steve stand until he took hold of you. After throwing you on to the mattress, you watch as they quickly get undressed, and kick their clothes aside. Without saying a word, Steve dropped to his knees, grabbed your thighs, and yanked you to the end of the bed.

Closing your eyes, a moan left your throat as he practically shoved his face into your cunt and his tongue began devouring you. You felt a dip beside you and turned to find Eddie holding his cock as he brought the end to your lips.

“Open.”, he commanded. As soon as your mouth parted just enough, he pushed himself between them, lacing his fingers into your hair as he began to thrust his hips slowly. “That’s it, princess. Flat tongue, open throat. Fuck… we can do the rest.”

The metalhead grunted as you whimpered around him as his friend built you up. As your thighs tried to close, his firm hands pressed them flat as his mouth wrapped around your clit. Your eyes squeezed tighter together as you mewled and hollowed out your cheeks. Drool and spit were leaking from both corners of your mouth as both men held you still.

Eddie suddenly pulled back, leaning down till his forehead was against yours as his grip on your hair tightened.

“Cum, baby. Cum all over Steve’s face. It’s ok if it’s messy. We like it that way.” Your hand clung to his wrist as you panted against his lips, moaning as the coil snapped, and your legs shook in the other man’s grasp. “Good girl, sweetheart. Good girl.”

Steve rose to his feet lifting you again, bringing you further up the mattress, and man handling you onto your stomach. Spreading your legs a bit wider and lifting your lower half, you groaned when you felt him spit directly into your pussy before guiding his cock into your entrance. Falling flat against you, he rolls his hips, allowing you to adjust to the feeling of him as your eyes roll.

“F-fuck yes. Yes, Steve. P-please.”, you beg as he tenderly traces kisses along your shoulder.

“Why are you begging, honey? I thought—fuck—I thought you wanted us to take control? For us to show you we know what’s best for you?”

“I-I-I do. I just… you feel so good. Please.”

“Shhhh. Shhhh. It’s ok, pretty girl. I got you, baby.” His palm slides around to grasp your throat as he grounded his hips harder into you. Your eyes widen, jaw going slack as he grunts loudly behind you and thrusts into a bit faster. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Your little pussy takes me so well. I’m gonna take care of you, ok? You…you remember what to say if I’m hurting you?”

You could barely form a coherent thought let alone answer his question. Ringed fingers moved some of your hair out of your face as Eddie’s breath warmed your ear.

“Come on, princess. You can do it. What do you say if you feel uncomfortable or if we’re hurting you?”

“P-P-Paris.”

“Good girl.” You felt like you wanted to cry with happiness when they both praised you.

Steve leaned back on his knees and lifted his leg, placing his foot near your side. One of his hands held the meat of your ass as the other grabbed the back of your neck, pressing you into the mattress. At this angle, when he slammed his hips into yours, you swore you felt him reach your inside your stomach. Eddie’s hand reached for yours and you held on to it tightly as Steve punched his cock into you.

Releasing his hold on you, the man placed his hand beside your head allowing you to crane your neck so you could look at him.

“So…deep, Steve. Fuck.”

“Does my dick feel good, baby?”

“Y-Yes, Steve.”

“Cum, Y/N. Cum hard on my cock.” Pumping into you faster, you screamed into the sheets as you felt your walls clench around him and your vision was blinded by white. “Goddamn it! Come here. Come here, pretty girl.”

Pulling out, he grabbed your arm as he fell back against the bed, fisting himself with your slick as he guided your lips to his tip. “Open up, honey.” Without hesitation, you took over, bobbing your head as fast and deep as you could. Whimpering, his fingers aggressively threaded through your hair to hold you still as he thrust his warm spend down your throat. “Fuck…go-good girl. Take it all and swallow.”

As you softly trailed kisses up stomach to his chest, Eddie laid himself beside you two, shoulder to shoulder with his friend. You glanced his way and he offered you big, sexy grin in return.

“No rush, sweetheart. Take your time.”

When your eyes met Steve’s again his head tilted in amusement when he realized what headspace you were in and what you were looking for. Cupping your cheeks in his hands, he brings your lips gently to his own.

“You want to fuck Eddie, baby girl?” When you nod, his thumb caresses your bottom lip. “Ok. Why don’t you ask him if that’s ok.”

“Eddie…can I fuck you, please?”

Your needy, little voice had the metalhead licking his lips as he motioned for you with his fingers. “Yeah, beautiful. Come here.” Placing you on his lap, you straddle his waist as your hands reach out to hold his shoulders while he grips the base of his cock. Lifting your hips, you gradually descend on to him, both of you moaning at the feel of him stretching your walls. Your sweaty forehead falls against his as you begin to grind.

“That’s it, sweetheart. God, you’re so gorgeous especially—mmm—especially riding my dick. Really ride it, babe. Take all of me.” His palms take hold of your sides as you lean back and do what he says. They both watch with glassy eyes as your tits bounce along with you. “Come on, Y/N. Harder!” You whimper with pleasure as he smacks your ass, trying to move as hard as you can.

“E-Eddie. Please…help.”

“You need some help?” Taking your face in his hands, he brings you down to your chest is flush with his as presses your face into the pillow behind him. “Of course you do, little one. You know why? Only we know how to please you.”

His hips thrust up into yours hard and you immediately saw stars. Grunts and groans filled your ears as he set an aggressive pace.

“Y-you’re doing so good, Y/N. Fuck…your cunt is so fucking tight. It’s too good. Let go again, sweetheart. Let me make you cum.”

Eddie released you and you sat back as your own palms leaned against his chest while his hands forced you down to meet each pump of his hips. Steve reached over you both and rapidly rubbed against your clit as you moaned loudly.

They watch as you come undone, trembling as you pant and fall forward with your mouth just above his. The metalhead’s lips passionately dance with yours as he continues thrusting into you until you feel him release inside of you.

Everything is silent except for both of you trying to catch your breath. Eddie’s hands glide up your back as he holds on to you, carefully turning you two on to your side and slowly pulling himself out of your now aching hole.

His breathy chuckle fills the room as he pets your head that is still pressed into his chest.

“You didn’t die on me, did you?”

Feeling movement behind you, you quickly turned to grab Steve’s arm. “No! Don’t go.”, you plead.

“Hey. You said you trust me right?” You nod. “Good. Plus, this hotel room isn’t like the fucking mansions you usually stay in so…” He continues talking to you in a light tone as he heads for the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “…you can see me walk from each room without a telescope.”

You smile as he jumps back into bed, opens the cap, and hands it to you. After glugging back half of it, you hand him back the bottle who in turn hands it to his friend.

“You always put him first.” Steve’s head shot up to look at you. “I’m not saying it like it’s a flaw. It’s just something I noticed. You make sure everyone else’s needs are met first.”

He gazes out the window for a moment before softly smiling in your direction and taking you in his arms to carry you into the bathroom. Placing you on the sink, he spoke as he started making a bath.

“Probably because I know what it feels like not to be taken care of. That’s probably also why we’re so good at this job. Remember, I told you my dad had this idea of who he wanted me to be? Well, he never even stuck around to make sure it happened. I spent most of my childhood alone or with friends.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Eddie comes up to your side and lifts you again, placing you in the warm water before they both follow after. “I like that you’re both loyal to each other. It’s one of the first things I noticed. Honestly, except for Sarah, I think everyone else is looking out for themselves.”

“Maybe…when you go home…you should change that.”, the metalhead sighs as he cleans you. “It’s been really hard for us watching Mark talk down to you the way he has.”

“And Jack.”, Steve adds. “It sucks because we can’t protect you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Y/N, if you worked for us we would have fired all these people already. As soon as Mark raised his voice to demean you, we would have told him to fuck off. But we work for you. Technically, even he is above us.”

“I’m learning. It’s part of the reason I’ve been such a bitch. I panic when I feel out of control so I just ugh!”, you playfully growl to emphasis your point.

“It’s called fight or flight, sweetheart.”, Eddie smirks. “You lean more towards the fight side like we do but sometimes…”

“What about you, Ed? Were you cared for as a kid?”

“By my mom, yeah. Then a few years later with my uncle after my dad went in.”

“May I ask what he did to get sent to jail?”

“No, you may not.” His tone was stern but not rough in any way. It was meant to be a warning.

“Are you ready to get out, honey?”, Steve whispers. After you nod, he rises from the tub and helps you step onto the tile, wrapping you in a towel as he dries you off.

“Have you two ever been out of the country?”

“My parents have so many times but not me.”

You glance at the metalhead who shakes his head as he shuffles the towel through his hair. The other boy leads you back into the bedroom and helps get you into some fresh pajamas.

“Maybe, if we’re up for it, tomorrow I can show you guys around. Paris is a beautiful city.”

“That sounds like a good idea, baby. For right now though, are you hungry or anything?”

“No. Thank you for asking but I’m exhausted.”

Steve smiles as he watches you crawl under covers, letting you get comfortable before doing the same and pulling your back to his chest. Eddie lays in front of you and you pleasantly sigh as he touches your cheek.

“I’m sorry for being short with you. I have some trouble talking about that period in my life.”

“I understand. Trust me. I get it better than anyone. Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart. I’ll be here.”

He chuckles as he watches your eyelids become heavier. “I don’t think you’ve called me anything like that before. Usually it’s just ‘Eddie’ or ‘Asshole’.”

You smirk as he leans down to kiss your forehead.

“We’re here to, Y/N, and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon.”

###############

@rckstrbee @melodymishahiddlestan @strangerfreak

@siriuslysmoking @micheledawn1975 @cositaslua

@munsonmoonshine86 @unfocused81 @paleidiot

@dad-steddie @aol19 @strngrlytn @mrsjellymunson

@needylilgal022

189 notes · View notes