Tumgik
#I swear I will bring something that is not a shitpost some day
felix-krain · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
Local brit doesn’t know how to take Ls
145 notes · View notes
strawberry-cowmilk · 9 months
Text
dinner date with the brothers (realistic)
-> brothers x mc
mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read
content warnings: this is lowkey a shitpost, bad attempts at flirting
a/n: I don't know basic physics so forgive me if not every star can emit light ?? idk also I have no idea if I did something like this before at this point I don't even know what I did and did not already write
-----
Lucifer
your date was probably rescheduled at least 7 times because this man either forgot or arrived way too late the fancy restaurant couldn't give you a table after you missed your reservation (because of work)
hopefully your 30 grimm soup is perfect because he'd get mad at the waiter if the food is 'too cold', he's basically a karen
when he's done eating a meal but you're not he'd just stare at you with no expression on his face and when you're done or notice him he starts a conversation
Mammon
oh he has it all planned out, he's gonna take you to the best restaurant in the devildom and make you madly in love with him
but mammon ends up knocking over a glass of water, falling off of his chair and knocking three waiters down with him like dominoes when trying to flirt with you, it's like he just says your name and chaos unfolds (it's kind of cute)
also mammon wants to pay the bill but he forgot he bought a huge motorcycle the day before so hopefully you brought your card
Leviathan
listen to me, never let this guy plan date night because it will be akuber pizza at 3am in his room (unless you like that I guess) also levi is probably a picky eater so imagine you take him to a fancy place and all he orders is fries
if he likes you enough he will talk about tsl lore the whole time despite mentally swearing not to before the date
sometimes he reads romantic stuff from his phone under the table to you and then proceeds to be embarrassed
Satan
honestly nothing could really go wrong, he arrives on time, he's nice and direct with the waiters, the place has a very nice vibe and his attempts at flirting with you aren't horrible
he's just not the best at starting and keeping conversations alive so maybe there's an awkward silence here and there
the worst thing that could happen is a cat somehow making it into the restaurant and satan climbing over tables to get to it as fast as possible
Asmodeus
he can probably get you into exclusive places, since he's kind of famous
downside to being kind of famous: you might encounter an overly happy fan who isn't rude but just eats your time
asmo doesn't want to be mean and completely ignore his fan but cmon he's literally on a date
he looks at you with the biggest 'help me' eyes so you have to make up some fake emergency so you two can leave
Beelzebub
you know what happens
please book your dinner date 5 weeks in advance and tell them you're bringing beel so the staff can mentally, physically and culinary prepare
but beel is an actual sweetheart to you he lets you eat his curliest curly fries (meanwhile there are waiters crying in the background trying to bring the 100 steaks to your table)
if you tell him you like something he will order 20 more of said dish for you (please give the waiters a huge tip)
Belphegor
he was nervous honestly so he asked to burrow a fancy suit from one of his brothers (even if the date is at akudonald's)
but this man can say the most unhinged stuff with a straight face, followed by a cute compliment
'hey mc you know I wonder if the devildom would notice if I took away the stars one by one until nothing but darkness is left also your eyes look pretty :))'
you know that one song about blinking in morse code to get the waiter's attention? that
739 notes · View notes
hrokkall · 1 year
Note
luke carder ?
Tumblr media
@tasmanianstripes
My favorite cringe ass YouTuber
Favorite thing about them: This is going to be explained very poorly but I like how Luke is so blatantly a joke character who still manages to become very sympathetic the moment you learn more about him. He was supposed to be just a snobby annoying guy who brings his camera everywhere for content but his actor accidentally ended up making him too likable (and I’m genuinely glad he did) which really made the ending hit. He’s just some guy but he’s some guy who was trying to live on in his sister’s memory and now he has no one to live on for him. And he’s also a dogshit YouTuber. These two trains of thought exist simultaneously.
Least favorite thing about them: I love Luke but holy shit his camera dies at the worst times. I love looting through your footage as much as the next guy but I was in the middle of something (granted his battery is probably being sapped by Inscryption proximity but still).
Favorite line: I quote “Wow. Great video.” on a near-daily basis so that one’s my actual favorite, but I also love the lines he has when you beat Leshy the first time without the film roll and continue playing act 1. (Only posting this one but he has others like “Ugh, I’m so sick of this boss.” and an excited “Woo!” when you beat Leshy a second time)
Tumblr media
(Bonus points to all the times he—fairly—responds to something with “What the fuck.” It makes me laugh if for no other reason than no one else in the game properly swears except for him).
brOTP: Luke and the Scrybes just because “completely normal guy placed amid the Weirdest People Imaginable” is a hilarious trope.
OTP: I honestly don’t ship Luke with anyone. I’ve joked about him accidentally making Inscryption into a dating sim before but that’s entirely a shitpost and (as stated prior) would just end in them all being buddies.
nOTP: Again I really don’t think there’s any ships I would actively say “no” to with Luke. Even if they’re not my thing personally I don’t actively hate any ships I’ve seen (then again I haven’t seen many).
Random headcanon: The elk-book in the background of his desktop setup is a card binder.
On a completely different note, I’d like to think that anyone who comes in long contact with Inscryption experiences (small) physical changes (as well as the obvious psychological damage) to sort of cement its presence as a “cursed object”. Nothing really happens to Luke because he only had the game for a few days. Kaycee, however—
Unpopular opinion: Are there any unpopular opinions to be had about Luke?? I guess some people don’t like him and think he ruins immersion. I’m a Luke fan in that case, I’ll stay solid on that.
Song I associate with them: I was going to take the piss and put something by Weezer but my de-facto Luke song is BAD LUCK! by Jhariah. Bonus points though to Making Up Words by Bug Hunter which is also very Luke (albeit more surface-level).
Favorite picture of them: Luke has a lot of fantastic expressions, but I’ll tentatively say this one.
Tumblr media
26 notes · View notes
miniimapp · 1 year
Text
4*TOWN On Social Media
Gen ;; Crack - Headcanons
Warnings ;; none
Proofread + Edited ;; HA.
Auth. Note ;; WELCOME TO DAY 15 OF THE 4*TOWN CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN !! Bet y'all didn't think I'd actually last this long because I know I didn't lmao
Enjoy !! <3
✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«
Aaron T - An Absolute Troll
Literally everyone saw this coming
Just because it's so true lmao
The biggest shitposter you've ever seen
Will post anything, anytime, anywhere
He posts how he talks,,
with not brain to mouth/text filter
T really likes social media though
I feel like he'd try to get himself cancelled
But like,, for a fun thing yknow
And as a joke
His audience literally would too,, they'd bring up a post from before the band where he talked about how he didn't like a movie or something
Probably Annie,, I have a feeling T has a passionate hatred for the original Annie movie for no apparent reason
Anyways,, he posted a hate post on it, fans found it and then #aarontisoverparty started trending out of nowhere
AND HE LOVED IT !!
When T's not shitposting he posts almost exclusively Britney Spears fanposts
I have a feeling that he actually worships the ground she walks on
Mainly T just gives the people what they want
That includes homemade memes
Straight of his little noggin
Maaann,, if there's just one thing T could choose to be proud of in his life it's his meme collection
At least 1 every day
Mans has a literal queue of daily memes lined up months in advance
Jesse - Internet Grandpa
Jesse doesn't understand memes or internet slang
The boys (read: T) find this hilarious
Is it as bad as everyone, including myself, makes it out to be ?? No, of course not
But is it more fun to call Jesse old and watch him struggle ?? Yes !!
Jesse's actually quite proficient with technology which is always a surprise to people and Jesse loathes it
The amount of times people have been shocked and praised Jesse when he's gotten even the simplest computer thing right is astronomical
The boys love this because it's one of the only times Jesse swears
He doesn't post often but when he does it's absolutely golden
At some point Jesse decided if he can't beat them, he'll join them
And so he made it his bit to post purposely terrible selfies with the boys and the most formal captions ever publicly
On the internet
For the world to see
And he doesn't regret it
Not one bit..
He especially loves it when T and Tae openly mock him and reply to his posts on their accounts
Who doesn't love a good ol' quote tweet amirite ??
But yeah, when he actually posts seriously it's all promotional
For the most part he's just Grandad style pictures and terrible dad jokes
Omg Jesse's dad jokes literally trend every time he posts one
No one knows why, or how, but Jesse likes to rub it in the other's faces that he went viral before them and multiple times too
Aaron Z - Offline For the Foreseeable Future
This man never posts
I am telling you,, he never posts
Z might post promotional a story when he's bothered about it for weeks upon weeks but a proper post ?? Not a chance
No one knows why
There are actually some conspiracy theories behind it
Some people believe that he's actually a robot which is why he's so stoic in interviews and never posts
Z and T have a good laugh whenever they find a new Z conspiracy
Thing is,, Z has a private account under a different name
And that account is UNHINGED
The range of posts goes from like,, one word to a whole ass novel
Z just posts what he feels
His page's energy is that of T's but mildly calmer
Calm chaos if you will
Z's priv account is also a conspiracy theory, except everyone thinks it's a fan account or a furry account or something
I feel like Z just loves the confusion of posting random pictures on his public story with the only caption being "iykyk"
Everyone starts freaking out like,, wHaT !?!? WhO knOWs wHAt hE's oN abOuT !?!?
Then he'll start laughing about it on his private account
Hannah Montana style fr
He always gets the posting question in interviews
His answer is the same every. single. time.
"Don't wanna post, so I don't post."
He's getting fed up with questions about his posting habits fr, let Z live
Robaire - The Only Professional One
Only ever completely professional band stuff
Pictures of the guys and a caption saying "Stay tuned.. 🎶"
The BIGGEST promotional tease under the sun istg
None can escape Robaire's professionalism
He sends 4*townies into the biggest panics
He will get 4*TOWN trending within 5 minutes over an ambiguous caption and if that isn't promotion idk wtf is
He also reposts fan works,, whether it be covers of their songs or fan art or writing
Robaire loves that stuff,, he loves that people feel able to use them to express their own creativity
He wants to encourage that creativity and see it prosper
Another thing Ro will do is host qna's
He'll send out a post asking for questions
He always replies to ask many as possible but sometimes the amount of replies is just too much
Robaire likes seeing what people think of him and the band
A fair few questions are about how the band started out and he loves answering those questions the most
They're probably his favourite kind
Ro just finds it so cool that people now come to him for advice on how to start out as a musician
People just like who he used to be
The interactions, the real, organic, non-set up ones are what Ro loves about social media
He can connect with the 4*townies in a way he never could before
That connection means everything to him
Tae Young - Online Gremlin
Like Robaire,, Tae also sends 4*townies into frenzies over promotional content..
Unlike him, however, Tae Young posts unapproved spoilers to his account
He literally is the leak
The mindset is to leak the stuff before anyone else can so at least they're in control
He doesn't leak anything professional either,, only short acoustic snippets or lyric run-throughs
Kind of smart ig
Ish..
But as I've mentioned before, Tae takes loads of mugs of the other members
And where else would he post them but on his public feed ??
The guys hate him, the 4*townies love him
And hey, fair's fair, Tae will post unflattering pics of himself too
But everyone knows it's a good day when Tae posts because chances are he'll have some more meme-worthy content of the boys ready to be edited to hell and back
Sometimes Tae will repost the other members posts with hate comments
Any post of Jesse's is getting riddled with "old" immediately
He loves to do those fairy comments too, only to the other members though
Tae is probably the most interactive with fans tbh
Even more than Robaire
He'll just starts conversations with 4*townies in the comments, sometimes it's weird drama, sometimes it's a very thorough analysis of a Shakespearean play
If anyone thought T and Z were chaotic they are not ready for Tae Young and his page of horrors
Literally the most all over the place page out of everyone
But arguably the most entertaining page also
✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«
Hope you enjoyed !! <3
30 notes · View notes
dp1nk · 2 years
Text
canvas of irrationality
i found an old shitpost fanfic about chick fil a and let an ai help me finish it.
"I'm home, Myshka!"
"Welcome home, luv!" Lena mutes the telly and greets her wife from the living room couch, as she hears the slamming of the front door. Her wife, Aleksandra, does as she usually does when she returns from a day of work - she wanders straight into the kitchen. Lena shrugs, remains in her seat and takes another bite of her sandwich. She's ever vigilant of the large Russian weightlifter's tendency to make a pit stop at the gym before she returns to her tiny English muffin, so every day, she tries to have a hot, homemade meal (made with extra love) ready for her return.
Today was a long day at the pizza shop for her, though, and she didn't feel like cooking, so she stopped for some fast food instead - something she does very rarely. Hopefully, nonetheless, Aleks is going to like what she brought home.
"…Lena! Vhat is this!?"
The thickness of her accent strikes a strange, primal terror into the brunette's reptilian brain, which courses down her spine and brings her posture to attention. She glances down at her chicken sandwich and swallows her half-chewed bite.
"Uh…I-It's Chick-Fil-A, luv--"
The sound of the trash container interrupts her as something is hurled in with a thunderous crash. Lena turns and looks with pure confoundment into the kitchen doorway. "Aleks?"
Her wife storms into the living room, eyes bloodshot, livid as a starving bear. The rumble of her footsteps shake the small apartment, and Lena could almost swear the couch is jumping slightly off the floor with each one. The freckled little pizza girl can't even begin to imagine what she did to trigger such a reaction, and that really only worries her further - Aleks never gets this way over food!
The lifter catches sight of the sandwich in her trembling hands and snatches it away.
"You hev brought contrabend into my house," she growls from her throat. "Vhat else do you hev? Do not lie to me."
The tiny brunette on the couch simply stares back, unblinking. "Cont-Contraband?"
Aleksandra points at the to-go cup on the coffee table, bearing the accursed Chick-Fil-A logo on it. As Lena watches, she could swear her wife's eyes fade from bloodshot red into a rage-filled, glowing white.
"Hend it to me. Now."
The terrified Brit hesitates, but soon extends the drink to the fuming Russian with some reluctance. She nearly crushes it in her hand as she takes it.
"How much did you pay for this?"
Lena's breath hitches in her dry throat. "…Wot did I do, Aleks??"
"HOW MUCH!?"
"Um…a dollar fifty…"
Aleks' face contorts with anger, but her voice is controlled. "Did you buy anything else there? A milkshake maybe? Or did you go straight for the burger and fries?"
"They only sell chicken there, luv."
"They hate us, Lena. You know they hate us. Why would you eat there?"
The pizza girl cocks her head at the unexpected question. Any tension and fear she may have felt melts off as her wife's concerns become clearer.
Clear as they may be, they don't halt her from taking another bite of her sandwich. She replies, her mouth full: "I don't care what they think! It's yummy!"
"But do you want them hating you? Do you want them to be able to say 'I knew a lesbian who ate at Chick Fil-A'?! To have it be an easy thing for them to point out to all their friends and family?"
"They're not gonna tell anyone, Aleks! And I don't care if they do. It's yummy! You haven't even tried it!"
"I am so sick of you acting like you can't see how important this is to me, Lena!" The brutish Russian practically whines, defeat in her voice as the woman she married simply finishes her meal.
Lena finally swallows the last bite of her sandwich. "I'm sorry, luv. I just really like the food there."
Aleks shakes her head, exasperated. "You know what, Lena? You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."
"It's okay," Lena says, trying to be reassuring.
"No, it's not okay! I don't get angry often, but when I do, I can't control myself. You don't understand what it's like to be treated like garbage every day."
"…Wot's that supposed to mean?" Lena says, defensively. "I've been treated pretty badly, too. And I'm not going to let that happen here!"
"Well, I won't treat you like garbage either!" The Russian scoffs, but thinks better of escalating the conversation. Instead, she drops the crumpled to-go cup back into her wife's hands. "We're just not going to talk about it, okay?"
Aleks walks away and into the bedroom. Still confused, the tiny Brit chooses to pursue her.
"Darling? You all right?" Lena asks as she enters the room.
Aleks is sitting on the bed with the lights off, head in her hands. Lena sits next to her and rubs her back.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Aleks says, looking up. "I didn't mean to."
"It's okay," Lena attempts to respond, but is cut off.
"It's not okay!" Aleks shouts, causing her to jump at the sudden increase in volume. "It's not okay! You should be able to make your own choices about where to spend your money!"
Her wife can only giggle, appearing endeared rather than annoyed. "We're not talkin' about it, remember? Tell ya what. Why don't you go try your sandwich? You're not yourself when you're hungry."
"You're right," Aleks says, standing up and walking to the kitchen.
Lena follows, holding out her hand. "I'll hold your chicken sandwich for you, luv."
-
"Is this okay?"
The woman nods, so Lena presses the sandwich to her lips. It's hard to tell from her expression if she likes it or not.
"Here I go."
She takes a bite of the chicken sandwich and chews it thoughtfully. Lena is tempted to ask for her opinion, but chooses instead to allow her wife the time she needs to evaluate the flavor.
After several more bites, Aleks seems satisfied and takes the sandwich away.
"Okay, what do you think?"
"I…it's good."
Aleks' brow furrows, and she stares at her wife, her face unreadable.
"It's really good," Lena repeats.
Aleks frowns again, and Lena is afraid that her wife doesn't like the food - until Aleks begins laughing. It sounds like bells being rung in tune, and her smile looks positively radiant as it spreads across her face.
"It's the best thing I've ever tasted!"
"Yeah?"
The Russian shoves the rest of the sandwich into her mouth. Lena giggles, unable to believe her own ears. She's never seen Aleks eat so much before - and with such enthusiasm!
"No, no! This is serious! This is the most amazing sandwich I have ever had! I know it might sound weird, considering it's Chick Fil-A, but…"
Lena laughs, but stops when she realizes what her wife is saying. "…Wait. You're serious?"
Aleks shakes her head. "I promise, Lena! God is real, and he lives inside me! And he wants us to love each other. I've read the bible and everything."
The brunette's mouth hangs open, disbelieving what she is hearing. "But, but--"
Aleks grabs her wife and presses their faces together, looking her dead in the eye. "Don't you believe me, Lena?"
The tiny brunette stares at her wife, trying to understand what is going on in her head, but first she has to process how things even escalated to this point from something as simple as choosing to pick up takeaway for once.
Still, a part of her knows that it would be lying if it claimed it didn't completely anticipate something like this happening. It's Chick Fil-A, after all.
0 notes
theepisceswriter · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
JJK characters as random intimate moments with their partner (Nanami, Gojo, Toji)
A/N: I’m positive I saw someone do this for a couple of characters for AOT and it inspired me to do this one, so whoever you are ily and ur writing and I’m praying I find the post again so I can give the credit deserved 💜
TW: none really apply, GN!reader, just a whole lot of much needed fluff, OOC!Toji honestly
Tumblr media
NANAMI KENTO
Meeting your parents/parental figures for the first time.
Chivalry still exists and it’s because of men like Nanmi Kento in this world that it does. He has such an old school mindset when it comes to relationships and love. He does things like hold the passenger door open for you, carry you around bridal style when you get tired of being on your feet, and pay for the whole date whenever the two of you go out. These are things everyone should be doing in a relationship, treating their partners with the upmost respect, but he’s like the poster boy for chivalry. That’s why when he asked to meet your parents so he could formally introduce himself to them you weren’t surprised at all. You kind of expected it given the type of man he is and you weren’t nervous to bring him around at all. Just from the constant gushing you’ve done about him over the phone to your parents they loved him, so you knew it would be smooth sailing once they got to meet in person. And it was! Your parents hardly spent the night talking to you and had all their attention on Nanami, talking and laughing the whole night away while you sat from your seat watching everything with a smile. Halfway through the night and they were already referring to him as their son-in-law and telling him how he was free to call them mom and dad as well. Now the two of you are getting pestered about a wedding constantly, but it’s worth it because now you absolutely adore the relationship he has with your parents. It was truly an amazing bonding experience.
GOJO SATORU
Farting in front of him for the first time.
Please, I know this seems like a shitpost and crack but really.....it kinda is, you caught me red handed 😔 BUT REALLY, unlike Nanami and basically every other person on this list Gojo doesn’t like dwelling on typical couple moments. Matter of factly, he finds them rather boring and too cheesy because he just strives to be so different and unique from other couples. The fact that you let out a little toot in front of him loud enough to hear was already embarrassing enough but the shit-eating grin he turned to you with and the, “Oh my god, is it trying to say something to me?” That left his lips really made you want to never talk to him ever again. He made jokes consistently through the night, but by the third one you were a lot less tense and didn’t even care anymore. And when you thought the teasing was done? He came home the next day with a shirt for you that said ‘I Farted in Front of my Boyfriend for the First Time’ in one of those airbrushed fonts. Odd, but your whole relationship is odd in general. Gojo Satoru is an odd man.
TOJI FUSHIGURO
Telling him that you love him for the first time
There’s no act when it comes to Toji’s tough personality, he is without a doubt an asshole who would ruthlessly kill someone if the reward was a chipotle burrito, but it’s just something about you specifically that brings him to his knees and makes him weak. You’ve been there for all the hardships of his life and seen the most vulnerable parts of him, parts of him that let you know exactly why he’s the way that he is. What others might find wildly out of character for him and goofy to even think about him in such a vulnerable position, is your everyday normal. No one understands him more than you and vice versa. So, one night you just let it out. The two of you were tangled with each other in the bed, his broad arms wrapped around your torso pulling you to his hardened chest and the room completely silent and dark; the two of you just enjoying each other’s company. In all honesty you thought he was sleep from the way his chest was rising and falling against you when you let out your soft, “I love you.” But he was very much conscious, responding to you with an heartbeat. “I love you, y/n. I don’t think I’ve ever loved somebody as much as I’ve loved you. I’d give my life if it meant protecting yours. You mean everything.” He’s such a softie around you, not afraid to express his emotions and be in tune with them when he’s around you. You swear you heard him sniffing once or twice between some words.
443 notes · View notes
miyaniacs · 3 years
Text
Zoom Class distractions
College style
Tumblr media
a/n: @saucysamu sent me a tiktok so that’s where the idea came from a and now you all got this mess ✌🏼 (yes I know I’m late on this whole zoom class HC’s but oh well ) - tell me if you want a part 2 and for who!
Tumblr media
masterlist
characters: Terushima, Atsumu, Oikawa, Osamu
format: headcanon turned shitpost
pairings: gn!reader
warnings: NSFW, Oral, lowkey public?
Tumblr media
Terushima:
- He teased you all day long
- Distracted you while you tried to finish an essay
- Left small kisses all over your shoulders
- That led into hot Make out sessions he stopped right before things get more heated so yes now it’s your time to shine
- He’s got one of his zoom classes right now
- And you out on his favorite pair of lingerie that he loves to see on you
- Black, paired with lash and lace
- “Teruuuuu” You purr and step in front of him
- He quickly looks up at you and then back down on the on the screen and then back up, his eyes wide in shock
- “Baby no.” He says and nervously looks at the screen again. His microphone is off but they are not allowed to turn off their camera
- Getting down on your knees, you crawl under the desk and your hands wander up his legs
- “No no no noooooo- y/n stop.”
- But you don’t stop
- Pulling down his joggers and underwear you’re already greeted by his exited member
- You knew it - you knew he’d be into this shit
- So while having to present his presentation to the class - he’s also getting one of the best blowjobs ever
- “As you can see in - AHHGhh- yes yes I’m fine sorry, so you can see in this chart ....”
- you had way to much fun with this
- Gagging around him, he let’s out a loud groan
- “Terushima?” The sharp voice of his professors is heard through the speakers.
- “I’m sorry I really don’t feel good - I think I should see a doctor!”
- And bam the the laptop is slammed shut and one of his hands curl in your hair while the other one shoved the desk away
- “Mhhhh that’s right baby,..., you want me that desperately? Then work for it.”
Tumblr media
Atsumu:
- The audacity
- HE had his day off
- YOU had a full day of online classes
- So you got not time for him
- No attention was given to him
- So what now?
- Atsumu made up his master plan
- You had your camera off anyways
- Sitting down behind you on the bed he wraps his limbs around you
- His chin rests on your shoulder and he purrs in your ear
- “Babygirllllllll”
- “Atsumu no. Unless you can’t teach me statistics leave me alone.” You groan and try to focus on your class
- Which is harder than you thought since he now leaves kisses on your neck
- Sucking on it, slightly biting down until he gets the wanted sound of of your mouth
- His hands travel all over your body - stopping at your most sensitive parts
- “You know babygirl .... “
- he says as his hands travel under your pullover
- “I’m pretty good at statistics - you can ask Osamu.” And with that he flips your body
- Your back’s against the bed, arms pinned over your head
- His other hand already pulls up your pullover while his lips connect to the now exposed skin
- All while hearing the voice of your professor in the background calling your name
- “FUCK Professor Mocke!”
- You try to get up, but Atsumu pushes you down with a low growl
- “No no no. I told you I’m good at statistics too.”
- Pushing you down with his body, his feet moves to the laptop and closes it
- you’re not allowed to scream any other name expect his
Tumblr media
Oikawa:
- You were visiting him in San Juan
- And then covid happened
- And now you have to stay longer because of some stupid guidelines from your county
- Well it’s not that bad tho
- Spending more time with your boyfriend
- But there’s one thing
- All of your university classes are online now
- So here you are, at some unbearable time, in front of your laptop
- Your Professor is already messing with you since it’s 3am at yours and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever
- You asked to put off your camera & microphone so you don’t wake up your boyfriend- and thankfully he accepted
- After half an hour, you feel two strong arms wrap around your torso and soft slips move up your spine
- “Toruuuu go back to sleep baby.” You whisper and your hand find it’s way to his soft hair, gently running your fingers through it.
- “I had the best dream ever...” he mumbles in his raspy voice
- “Oh yeah?” You ask and smile, your eyes still fixed to screen, trying to follow what your prof is explaining
- “Mhmm...”
- “TORU!” You squeal the second he pulls down your shorts & bites down on your butt.
- “Yes angel?” He smirks
- “I have classes!”
- “Well... your camera & mic-“
- “Y/n? Can you tell us about the project your planning to do?” The voice of your professor is heard
- “Tooth I swear no!” You warn him and turn on your mic and camera
- “Uhm yes sure.” You smile and feel oikawa shift behind you
- “Oh I guess that’s your boyfriend?” Your professor asks
- Oikawa now sits right behind you, hugging you, resting his chin on your shoulder
- “Yes I am Sir!” He says and shows his signature smile
- Here’s the dilemma now, you’re trying to explain your project while Oikawas fingers move into your pants.
Tumblr media
Osamu:
- Shoving one onigiri after another into your mouth you try to focus on what ever your classmate is presenting right now
- “Osamuuuuuu” you groan
- “No I have to work and you have to focus.” He sighs and flicks his finger onto your forehead
- “Stop That.” You groan again
- “No.” He says and is about to flick again, but you are quicker and capture his finger in between your lips sucking slightly
- “Y/n. Don’t play that game now.” He growls and you let got of his finger pouting.
- “Don’t you have classes?” He asks annoyed while washing his hands
- “Yes, but I got my camera and mic off ... and it’s boring af.” You sigh and put your head on the table
- “Then get this order to the table 8.” He puts a plate right in front of your face
- “As you wish Sir!” You tease him and get up bringing the order to said table
- Coming back you stand behind Osamu and wrap your arms around him, pressing your body against his.
- “What do you want me to do now Sir?” You whisper in his ear and place a sloppy kiss on his neck
- “Not now. My shift ends in 10 minutes.” He stiffens
- “But I’m bored ...” you whine again
- Just then Atsumu walks into the shop
- “Tsumu, cover the rest of my shift - it’s only ten minutes left.” He says and throws Atsumu his apron in the face
- “What no why?!” Atsumu complains
- “I gotta help Y/n with their collage stuff.” He says quickly and you two leave, laptop in hand, to the back of the shop, through the door that says “private”.
- “Soo what did he just say? The human body is able to bear huge amounts of pain?” He breaths against your skin
- “No what- he’s talking about photosynthesis?” You ask confused but your thoughts soon get interrupted when your body is pressed flat against the table
- “Huh? Are you telling me I’m wrong?” he leans down over you, bodies glued together and he starts to nibble on your ear lobe
- His hands roam over your body and unbutton your pants.
- “Y/n - please can you tell us your thoughts on this?” Your professor calls out
- You jump up while Osamu goes down on you
- “Let’s see how much pain you can bear until you let something slip” he smirks and begins his work while you desperately try to not let that moan slip while you explain your thoughts on the discussion question
Tumblr media
tagging: @shoyosun
222 notes · View notes
foone · 3 years
Text
Unbreathing Vacuum
I got an ADHD inspiration to write a short DS9 fic off a shitpost about Star Trek-but-all-the-computers-run-windows-98, so I wrote a thing about Odo and the crew's reaction to his seeming death. (This was written for twitter, so it's gonna have some weird paragraph breaks, sorry about that)
Odo is tracking down a Bolian weapons dealer with as many morals as hair follicles when he finally corners him in a cargo bay. It goes south, quickly, as it turns out weapons dealers have access to a lot of weapons.
His Bajoran security officer is laying down suppressing fire as Odo sneaks around behind the Bolian who is trying out a wide variety of strange weapons, colored beams shooting across the room like we're in a deadly disco of death.
Odo reforms into a grumpy humanoid behind the blue man group reject, shedding his Andorian Ice Fox form that let him cross the sea of crates without detection. Odo grumbles "I think that's enough, don't you?" as the Bolian turns and screams.
The football shaped object in his hands that was beeping increasingly frantic pitches drops to the floor, and he dives for it. Odo looks down in surprise, then recognizes what it is, but it's slightly too late, as timers on Klingon grenades are not known for their accuracy.
There's a flash of light and pressure as it detonates, and the cargo bay wall cracks, and the one sound no one wants to hear in a space station begins: the high pitched hissing of air rapidly leaving.
Odo gets to his feet in that uncanny way he sometimes does when he forgets to move like a being who has bones. He simply transitions from a body on the floor to a standing vaguely humanoid form. The Bolian, being closer to the blast, appears dead, or at least soon to be so.
He turns to his security officer to tell her to go call Chief O'Brien, when the hissing wall suddenly groans with the sound of bending metal, and the wall gives way completely. An entire semi-rectangular wall panel is ejected into the black, taking Odo and the dead Bolian with it
The security officer, nearer to the door, slams the access panel and dives through the door before it can finish opening, and rips off a barely attached wall panel to yank on the manual bulkhead release.
The door slams shut with typical Cardassian efficiency, not caring or bothering to check if there might be a limb or two in the way. The hurricane wind of all the station's air trying to escape is suddenly ended, and deafening white noise gives way to the low hum of the station.
Moments later, the crew up in Ops are reacting to the news of Odo's death in almost comically predictable ways.
Kira, the career soldier, is angry. She's seen many friends die in front of her, and she never let herself become numb to it. She's swearing at Odo in ways that the universal translator is so good at eliding, saying she always told him he was taking too many risks.
Just because he won't mind when someone stabs him doesn't mean he's invulnerable, she told him, and he, as always, almost-smiled in the way he only seems to do around her and grumbled about how he'd be careful.
The young doctor is barely holding it together. Kira's lashing out but it's a controlled sort of anger, a way she keeps a handle on the pain of losing people. Bashir, the eternal optimist to Odo's eternal pessimist, doesn't really believe in death, a strange trait for a doctor.
O'Brien is focusing himself on technical issues to avoid having to think about the emotional ones. What kind of weapon could have taken out a reinforced cargo bay wall? Had it been damaged before and incorrect repaired? He makes a note to do a full check of structural integrity
Dax has seemingly no reaction, but that's almost to be expected. You have a different outlook on death when you've died before, multiple times. As a near-immortal you see many people and make many friends, and nearly all of them will die long before you.
You have to learn to accept it, or it will kill you by inches. One of the downsides of seemingly endless life is there's a lot of time to mourn.
The commander is definitely feeling the impact of the loss, especially having had far too much experience with this particular kind of loss before. He flashes back to that time he always, in some way, still resides in...
When an alien force shows up and starts carving your ship into digestible chunks, you quickly become intimately familiar with the effects of sudden decompression on the humanoid body. It's not pretty, it's not as fast as you'd hope, and it's something you never forget.
He maintains his composure, leaning on his command training, and asks Kira to make a list of security officers she'd suggest promoting to Chief of Security. He thinks for a moment, realizes Odo had no family, and says he'll send a note to Dr. Pol
He turns back to go into his office when there's a dull thudding noise, and a sort of faint tink-tink-tink caused by the flexing of glass that happens with even the thickest of reinforced viewport.
He looks around in confusion, and Dax suddenly points at one of the high-up viewports. Floating outside the window, looking only slightly more annoyed than his resting "I hate life" face, is Odo.
It feels like something outside of a horror movie, a ghost floating silently outside a second story window, because humanoids don't just happily move around in the harsh void of space without needing a suit or a forcefield to keep them breathing.
But Odo isn't like most humanoids, after all. He's not a humanoid, for one. He's more a confounding self-propelled pile of goo that sometimes feels like pretending to be a humanoid shape.
This is made more obvious by the fact that he's only half there. His lower half is not legs, but a shimmering stretch of undifferentiated shapeshifter material, in order to hold onto an access handle tightly enough to give him the leverage to knock on a window.
Seeing he's got the attention of the crew, he pulls his hands from the window and starts attempting to sign to them. Kira's the only one with any experience in Bajoran sign language, and the best she can make out is something like "he broke his... Weasel? Columns him... Boat?"
He sighs, rolling his eyes, like only a shapeshifter really can. The sigh is silent of course, but if anyone could grumble in disappointment in the vacuum of space, it would be Odo.
His hands blur together as he shapeshifts them into a new form: a small flat panel, with Bajoran lettering in a large block font, perhaps a little too blocky as his aggravation is coming across even in typographical form.
COMBADGE DAMAGED BEAM ME ABOARD
Dax and O'Brien quickly confer, taking a painfully long moment to figure out how to lock onto something that is neither wearing a working combadge or reads as a life sign. Finally they figure out how to get a lock, and engage the transporter.
The grumpy-looking chief of security rematerializes on the Ops transporter pad, adjusting his "uniform" in an entirely unnecessarily maneuver he long ago picked up in his study of humanoids. He's naked, after all, he just looks like he's wearing clothes.
"Thank you for bringing me in", he grumbles, not saying the "finally" everyone can clearly hear in his tone. "It turns out that you can't open airlocks from the outside, so I wasn't able to come in the obvious way."
O'Brien, still slightly surprised by the sudden reappearance of his "dead" coworker, falls back on technical details as always. "That's a safety system we installed. The airlocks won't open unless they detect a ship is docked."
Kira chimes in with "Yeah, the Cardassians didn't have that restriction, as they wanted the freedom to just toss Bajorans out the airlocks when they felt like it." Odo responds with his usual grunt, a dismissive "pah, you solids and your weaknesses and your squabbles" noise.
Sisko replies "Regardless, it's good to see you alive and well, Odo."
Odo half-nods. "Commander, if you'll excuse me, I have reports to file and a safety lockout to implement. As tempting a prospect as it might seem, I wouldn't want Quark to end up to be sucked out the station's new orifice when he comes looking for his shipment of Yarmok sauce."
O'Brien jumps in with his typical urgency, half-covering up the feeling of "I should have fixed that already, damn" that he's seemingly always feeling around here. "I'll send a repair team down there right away."
Odo doesn't turn as he walks to the lift. "That would be appreciated, Chief. I'd rather not have to walk along the outside of the station again today." he says, punctuating it by activating the lift and descending out of view.
Sisko rubs his forehead. This is a strange place indeed, and despite all the headaches it gives him on a daily basis, he's beginning to feel almost at home in this remote alien place.
This place is strange, the people are strange, the situation is strange... But they're his strange.
Maybe someday they'll stop surprising him. But he doubts it, and he isn't sure he would want them to.
He sits down at his desk and pulls up another of the day's reports, thankful he doesn't need to write that letter to Doctor Mora Pol, for more than one reason.
It's never easy losing someone under your command, and writing that letter to their next-of-kin never gets easier either. But it's a good day when you don't have to do either.
30 notes · View notes
dreamautonomy · 3 years
Text
Thank you, thank you for the tag @fanarain. I took my time with this. I swear, I got to find a tag game to share with my followers and those I follow. @dreamautonomy needs more love and activity. 😭
I will answer questions about @dreamautonomy (my main that’s not officially a main) and @defectiveconantoy (my more popular Tumblr).
1. Why did you choose your url? I came up with the name Dream Autonomy waaaaay back in 2008. At the time, I was inspired by Kazimierz Dąbrowski's theory of positive disintegration (TPD), where he explained that one must go through anxiety and psychological tension to achieve autonomy and true individuality. In my teens, I dreamt of independence and autonomy, to live on my own terms and break away from society’s rat race. I still do to this day.
For my DCMK stuff, I’ve considered the name Conanology, but someone on Twitter took it. I wanted something witty. Then, I stumbled upon that Reddit post with the counterfeit Conan and Ayumi action figures. They looked so ridiculous and badly made it’s almost a joke. The thread’s first comment: perfect as a funny username. Unfortunately, defectiveconan was already taken here, so I settled with defectiveconantoy (also nicknamed by me as DFCT - DeFective Conan Toy) instead.
2. Any side blogs? @relaxwithanime because there’s a lot of relaxing anime, and I want to showcase relaxing anime scenes. @sillydogpictures, which has no posts. I wanted to show pictures of dogs with intentionally or unintentionally silly faces. 🐶
3. How long have you been on tumblr? It’s complicated! I began lurking back in 2010 or 2011 but didn’t create an account until 2014 with the original dreamautonomy, now the defunct @olddreamautonomy. I never used it until mid or late 2020.
I made @defectiveconantoy back in October 2020 because I considered participating in the DCMK Secret Santa event. I eventually decided not to, as I was busy with school and coping with the pandemic. I didn’t need more deadlines then.
4. Do you have a queue tag? Nope! I should make one once I learn how.
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? I planned to use @dreamautonomy as a creative blog for posting photography, graphic design, food and travel stuff, motivational stuff, and more. Never happened!
DFCT was made for Detective Conan and Magic Kaito fandom stuff, nothing else.
Stupid me made @defectiveconantoy a completely separate account, even after realizing minutes later that I could have made it a side blog. Oh well! I mostly use Tumblr for fandom stuff nowadays, so I deleted my old Dream account and made a new account as a side blog under @defectiveconantoy. Now, I no longer have to use different apps and browsers for both blogs. Life is good!
6 . Why did you choose your icon/pfp? For Dream, I chose Retsuko from Aggretsuko. That scene wonderfully represents the agony of one’s twenties: working miserable jobs, not being taken seriously, and wishing life was more fulfilling than the average adult life. There she is being “one of us” on a Sunday by lying in bed and scratching her butt. 😂
And for DFCT, how could I not post action Conan from The Fist of Blue Sapphire with the counterfeit action figure’s head replacing the original Conan’s head? 🤣
7. Why did you choose your header? For Dream, because Retsuko’s bouncing her little tail off. For DFCT, because Ran is precious in that scene, all soft and shy.
8. What's your post with the most notes? @defectiveconantoy’s set of GIFs from the Ferris Wheel scene in the Episode ONE special. And that’s my original post. I’ve reblogged even more popular stuff by others.
9. How many mutuals do you have? About a dozen.
10. How many followers do you have? @dreamautonomy: 9 (Most are p*rn bots I’ve reported for spam and blocked. Have no idea WTF I did to attract them.). @defectiveconantoy: 175!! 😁
11. How many people do you follow? 72!
12. Have you ever made a shitpost? I don’t know. I think I only post relevant memes.
Here am I typing this after spending years confusing shitposts with really funny, sometimes offensive memes. I’m still confused about the meaning of a shitpost. I’m not very trend or meme savvy.
13. How often do you use tumblr each day? About 10-20 times a day, usually through my phone app.
14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? Over ten years ago on websites that Tumblr, Twitter, etc. long replaced in popularity. Even then, I’ve usually been a lurker for most of my life and rarely engaged in arguments or debates. Whenever I did, I regret it to this day. I looked stupid (everyone did, actually). What a waste of time!
I wish I hadn’t forgotten about Detective Conan back in 2004. The DCMK Tumblr fandom is chill and AWESOME! I wonder what the fandom was like back in the 2000s.
15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts? Ehh…it depends. If it’s something most or everyone agrees with, I might reblog it. I don’t know about you, but such posts often bring the rebel in me. If you say, “REBLOG IT,” I say, “Ehh! Nope.” 😋 Anyway, life is short. I’d rather stick to fandom and humor, things that unite people and make them smile.
16. Do you like tag games? Of course! That’s how I get to know everyone. I should initiate tag games and tag all of you.
17. Do you like ask games? YES! I should start ask games as well.
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is [tumblr] famous? We interrupt this program to give mad props to that nicely formatted Tumblr logo-fied text. 👌
Aaaanyway, I won’t name names. Some are Tumblr famous for different reasons, and that’s what matters. We all contribute different things while being under the same main fandom, ships, arcs, and adaptations aside.
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? No! Why ruin this nice little Tumblr space for drama? It’s not worth having a crush on people you’ve never met face-to-face imo. I’m not repeating my teenage mistakes.
20. Tags: anyone happy to participate! 😁
7 notes · View notes
dansedan · 3 years
Link
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DISCO ELYSIUM COMMUNITY HERE IS MY BOLERO/LATIN POP HARRY DU BOIS PLAYLIST FUCK YOU PAY ME 
(liner notes and English lyric translations under the cut, listen-along with the playlist!)
(warning, LONG LONG post)
BOLERO ELYSIUM:
1.       No Soy Nada- Harry mourning over Dora.
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
My love, how I would like to have you with me
Turn back the clock and feel your heartbeat again
My love, how I wish not to be alive for today
And that you can be born again, walk your way
 [Chorus]
And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face
For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow
And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined
It is not me that you should love because I am nothing
 [Verse 2]
My love, I never meant to be bad, I swear
And as much as I tried and improved, it is not enough for me
 [Chorus]
And sorry for crying at your feet, unable to see your face
For the sake of both of us I’ll leave, if it’ll make you smile tomorrow
And now I know that I do not do you as well as I imagined
It is not me that you should love because I am nothing
 It’s a good, simple angst chanson. Very accurate for a drunk idiot mourning over a relationship and self-flagellating.
 2. Te Fuiste a Tiempo- battle-tested relationshit/partner-divorce
Translated lyrics:
[INTRO]
You could’ve killed me like this,
So cruel and merciless
 [Verse 1]
You left on time
Because you were starting to be a necessity
How lucky was I
When fate gave me my freedom
 You left on time
Because I was beginning to understand that you were a disguise
And with the cynicism of a mirage
You asked for one more kiss
 [Chorus]
I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair
Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground
I gave you my wings when I was just taking off
I gave you everything and even neglected myself
 [Post-chorus]
You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)
So cruel and slow (Ah, ah, ah)
But it was better ...
You left on time
 (The ra ra ra ra ...)
 [Chorus]
I hung a sigh from the spark of your hair
Like a comet that knew it was going to the ground
I gave you my wings when I was just taking off
I gave you everything and even neglected myself
 [Post-chorus]
You could kill me (Ah, ah, ah)
So cruelly and slowly (Ah, ah, ah)
But it was better ...
You left o-o-o-on time
 From the point of view of both of them!!! fucking insane dudes. It’s an April fools playlist of boleros so I am not going to pretend to have nuance here they are pining cheesily. Jean and “I gave you my wings when I was just taking off/I gave you everything and even neglected myself” makes me see red. Plus the idea of Very Soppily switching Jean’s attempts at having Harry… Not Do What He’s About To Do as “one last kiss” is. Soppy and amazing ok shut up.
 4.       El Último Trago- the bender of apocaliptic proportions
Translated lyrics:
Drink this bottle with me
And after the last drink we’ll leave
I want to see what forgetting you tastes like
Without putting your hands over my eyes
 Tonight I'm not going to beg you
Tonight you're really going to go;
How hard it is to have to leave you
Without feeling that you no longer love me
 The years have taught me nothing
I always make the same mistakes
Yet again toasting with strangers
And crying over the same pains
 Drink this bottle with me
And after the last drink, kiss me
Let’s hope there are no witnesses
Just in case you were embarrassed
 If one day we accidentally meet again
Do not bend down or speak to me directly;
Let us simply shake hands
And let the people murmur after
 The years have taught me nothing
I always make the same mistakes
Yet again toasting with strangers
And crying over the same pains
 Drink this bottle with me
And after the last drink we’ll leave...
 It’s the LAST DRINK hah see what I did there but also it’s a song about the foibles of drunkenness and drunken romantics so it’s very apt for harry trying to drown his Dora-related sorrows in alcohol. Poor mans. Also Dolores does just mean “pains” in here but. Dolores…
5.       No Soy de Aquí Ni Soy de Allá- Amnesia (hah, get it. Geddit. Yes this is mostly here because of the name but LOOK THERE’S MORE)
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I like the sun, Alice and the doves
good cigars and bad ladies
Jumping walls and opening windows
And when a woman cries
I like wine as much as flowers
And rabbits, but not tractors
And homemade bread and the voice of Dolores
And the sea wetting my feet.
 [Chorus]
I am not from here, neither from there
I have no age nor future
And being happy is the color of my identity
 [Verse 2]
I like to always be lying in the sand
To chase Manuela on my steed
For all the time, to see the stars
With Mary in the wheat field
 [Chorus]
I am not from here, neither from there
I have no age nor future
And being happy is the color of my identity
 [Verse 3]
I like the sun, Alice and the doves
good cigars and bad ladies
Jumping walls and opening windows
And when a woman cries
 Okay so hear me out: the stupid boiadero rugged macho man listing shit he likes to seem cool? So good for early amnesia Harry. This has Raphael Ambrosius Costeau written all over it. The mild mysoginy is only the cherry on top but all the random-ass nonsense lines that are just there to sound cool is perfect for Harry just. Saying shit and seeing if it sticks. Also the song bops so it’s here. Also like… “bad ladies” = klaasje thirst, “Jumping walls and opening windows” = the jamrock shuffle, “I like wine as much as flowers” = commodore red, forget-me-nots, “the sea wetting my feet”= Martinaise… ey? Ey? Ey?? Am I saying Jorge cafurne predicted disco Elysium? I don’t know but I’m sure saying SOMETHING. Also this would be a great ARB karaoke song.
 6.       Diez pasos hacia tí- getting to know Kim
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Life left us crossed
In a very casual way
You came like the sun
Stealing my shadow gradually
 Any leak of light
Everything was a sign
Ten steps towards you
A thousand doubts over me
And the fear, naturally.
 [Chorus]
You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)
Like the moon over the water
And then I let go (And then I let go)
To embrace your gaze
And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)
But it was in a kiss that I met you
 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you
Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh
 Any leak of light
Served as a signal
Ten steps towards you
A thousand doubts about me
And the natural fear
 You made me tremble like that (You made me tremble like that)
Like the moon over the water
And then I let go (And then I let go)
To embrace your gaze
And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)
But it was in a kiss that I met you
 You made me shake like that (You made me shake like that)
Like the moon over the water
And then I let go (And then I let go)
To swim in your gaze
And that's how I discovered you (And that's how I discovered you)
But it was in a kiss that I met you
 Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh, ten steps towards you
Uh, uh-uh-uh-uh
 Okay so clearly they don’t kiss YET but. We’re keeping on the theme of being very very cheesy and romantic because this is a shitpost playlist so here is a song with some vibes of slowly allowing yourself to trust someone who takes a bit of darkness from your life. “any leak of light”, “you arrived like the sun”, sunrise parabellum… also I love Harry being weak for Kim so “you made me tremble like that” is just. Yes thank you.
 7.       Soy un Corpóreo y Dentro de Mí Hay una Actriz Recién Titulada Llorando -superstar cop
Translated lyrics:
[Chorus]
I am a corporeal and within me
There's a newly graduated actress crying
I am a corporeal and within me
There's a newly graduated actress crying
 [Post-Chorus]
And in the official photos
I appear smiling with the children of the place
And in the promo clips
The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard
 [Verse 1]
The show must go on
Experts indicate that it is the best
Two out of three recommend it
For your daily use
 [Chorus]
I am a corporeal and within me
There's a newly graduated actress crying
I am a corporeal and within me
There's a newly graduated actress crying
 [Post-Chorus]
And in the official photos
I appear smiling with the children of the place
And in the promo clips
The sobs that inhabit me cannot be heard
 [Verse 2]
I have no other life than the one that sweats inside of me
And I don't want it to go, and I don't want it to go
It is that I have no other life than the one that cries inside me
And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing
 [Outro]
And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing
And without her I am nothing, and without her I am nothing
 OK SO THIS ONE IS HEAVY but for both the tentatively-affectionately-titled “terminal cop brain” that Harry (and Kim and Jean) suffer as well as a touch of his internal struggle with his own self-hate and depression AND Dora shit it is here. Superstar cop just needs to buckle up his disco belt and bring down the law (no he doesn’t he needs a lot of real actual help but uh. Okay harrier.)
 8.       Lo Mal que Estoy y Lo Poco que me Quejo- the jamrock shuffle around Martinaise
Translated lyrics:
[Chorus]
How bad I am and how little I complain
How bad I am and how little I complain
 [Verse 1]
I always get up with my foot looking at the ground
The mute voice greets me from afar
He gives me his silence but I play the idiot
Looking in the mirror
 [Verse 2]
And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine
I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself
I self-diagnose without even minimal success
And so I get depressed
 [Chorus]
How bad I am and how little I complain
How bad I am and how little I complain
I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken
What pain, what pity and what torment
 [Verse 3]
I go out to the sidewalks, my walking out of tune
My suitcase full of boulders
My smile upside-down from climbing so many stairs
Without getting anywhere
 [Verse 4]
And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving
And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’
A brick doesn’t know how to cry
But it doesn’t follow a beat well either
 [Chorus]
How bad I am and how little I complain
How bad I am and how little I complain
I have my soul in quarantine and my body is broken
What pain, what pity and what torment
 [Bridge]
And how my whole life hurts
And the doctor has told me
That calls into question the truest truth
That I'm late to the niche
And that to each new pain I look for a placebo
 [Outro]
My donkey, my donkey's love hurts
Because nobody loves him, only me
And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most
My heart is full of patches
My donkey, my donkey's love hurts
Because nobody loves him, only me
And grief greets me when I'm laughing the most
My heart is full of patches
Chin pon!
 Is this not the most perfect song for the absolute insanity of mr. Du Bois? First, the catchy fucking tempo, let us enjoy how splendidly jaunty it is. Amazing. Then, all the stuff about the mirror, ESPECIALLY “And the mirror gives me its reflection without mine/ I assume it and I continue but I do not trust myself”. Also the line “And history criticizes me because I'm always grieving/And I tell them ‘poor is he who hides his crying’” feels so much like an argument between Harry and skills over Dora shit… this song is also just a bop.
 9.       Algo Contigo- falling in love with Kim (which is a canonical event fuck you)
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Do I need to tell you
That I am dying to have something with you?
Have you not noticed
How much it costs me to be your friend?
I can no longer get close to your mouth
Without desiring you in a crazy way
I need to control your life
To know who kisses you and who shelters you
 [Verse 2]
Do I need to tell you
That I am dying to have something with you?
Have you not noticed
How much it costs me to be your friend?
I can no longer continue spying
Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive
I don't even know with what innocent excuse to pass by your house, oh-oh
I have so few roads left
And although it may seem like a folly to you
I would not want to die without having something with you
 [Verse 3]
Do I need to tell you
That I'm dying to have something with you, oh
Have you not noticed
How much it costs me to be your friend?
I can no longer get close to your mouth
Without desiring you in a crazy way
I need, baby, to control your life
Know who kisses you and who shelters you
I have very few roads left
And although it may seem like a folly to you
I would not want die without having something with you
 [Outro]
(Something with you, something with you)
baby, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)
Something with you (Something with you)
Sad the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)
Something with you (Something with you)
There is no excuse, there is nothing I have to lose
(Something with you)
Like a slave (Something with you)
A slave forever, I wouldn't mind being
(Something with you)
Eternally slave (Something with you)
Girl, I wouldn't want to die without having (Something with you)
Something with you (Something with you)
Sad is the fate that awaits me without being able to get to know you (Something with you)
 Okay so for one it’s pretty clingy as a romance song so it’s already perfect. We’re choosing to ignore it’s sung to a woman shhhh but look, okay. “I can no longer get close to your mouth/Without desiring you in a crazy way” is one of my favorite love song lines ever because I’m that brand of idiot but LUCKILY SO IS HARRY DU FUCKING BOIS OKAY so it makes me think of… devastatingly cool smoking Kim. I laughed a lot at the way “Day and night, guessing when you’ll arrive” paralleled a lot of my friends’ testimonies of getting really bummed out that Kim left with the body and they couldn’t hang out with him anymore. Also the sort of desperate air of “I have so few roads left/And although it may seem like a folly to you/I would not want to die without having something with you” also pings really nicely with Harry’s state of mind and inexperience and the assumed (reasonable lol) reaction that Kim might have at figuring out about this very unstable man’s pining after him. I almost had a different version of this song but despite the cheesiness of this rendition I like the way the ending lines devolve into… even more desperation. You go to therapy Harry, maybe you’ll get to smooch Kim if that works out…
4.       Ya Sé- the final dream with Dora.
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I know ... that you don't want to see me, I already know
That you are tired of my way of loving
That you don’t understand me and my jealousy does you wrong
That my caresses no longer shine on your skin
And that my nights are full of anxiety
 [Verse 2]
I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know
That you are calm and that you do not plan to return
That he has everything that he could never be
What are you saying that I have no dignity
That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad
 [Chorus]
Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice
Sorry
I know you’re hating me
I'm leaving now! I want you to know something:
My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips
 [Verse 2]
I know ... that you're with someone else, I already know
That you are calm and that you do not plan to return
That he has everything that he could never be
What are you saying that I have no dignity
That you don't care if I'm well or if I'm bad
 [Chorus]
Oh Love! Sorry if I call you to hear your voice
Sorry
I know you’re hating me
I'm going now! I want you to know something:
My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips
 [Outro]
My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips
My heart fled, it left, I lost it on your lips
 Okay so the final dream kicked me in the emotional nuts and this is such a fucking fitting song. I mean, the phonecall had already killed me pretty hard, and the idea of Dora’s voice being so stuck in Harry’s mind that he can immediately react is… it’s a lot. I like the lip imagery here too bc I’m a slut for parallels between Kim and Dora, sue me. The self-flagellation and repetition and just… “ I know what you’re feeling but I don’t care I’m feeling this about it”  is so very fitting for the two of them… I just think about it a lot…
5.       Ódiame- Jean again… Jean in Martinaise…
Translated lyrics:
Love, don't forget me
Please,
Hate me
 Hate me as a mercy, I beg you
Hate me without measure or clemency
Hate, I want, more than indifference
Because  resentment wants less than oblivion
 Hate me for mercy I ask you
Hate me without measure or mercy
Hate, I want, more than indifference
Because  resentment wants less than oblivion
 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced
That you loved me well, with insistence
But keep in mind, according to experience,
That you can only hate that which you love
 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud
Or is it worth more, your weak beauty
Think that at the bottom of the burial pit
We’ll be wearing the same clothing
 What is worth more, me, humble, you, proud
Or is it worth more, your weak beauty
Think that at the bottom of the burial pit
We’ll be wearing the same clothing
 If you hate me, I’ll be convinced
That you loved me well, with insistence
But keep in mind, according to experience,
That you can only hate that which you love
 But keep in mind, according to experience,
That you can only hate that which you love
 OKAY SO THIS ONE IS JUICY AS WELL… the whole theme of hate vs forgetting is very directly a Harryjean dynamic but. Please consider the way that this song is very directly interpretable as Jean just. Straight up going into bargaining over the harry amnesia thing. Like, fuck, even if you’re gonna keep being a horrible abusive asshole and pushing me away, at least don’t go an forget me. WHAT A KICK IN THE FUCKING NUTS. Also love the Broderbund bullshit with “Think that at the bottom of the burial pit/We’ll be wearing the same clothing” because. Cop Angst and their equality as partners is Important To Me. Also definitely calling out Jean’s entire being with “ you can only hate that which you love”
6.       Sí Po’- Inviting Kim to the 41st (gay)/post-mart domestica
Translated lyrics:
[Verse 1]
The stars aligned
You can't guess what happened
Do you remember that chore
That they had set me for today
 [Verse 2]
Yea, see, I managed to run it for tomorrow
I have all the time in the world for you
Mmm mmm mmm
Yea, see, just today that you are also free
We will have all the time in the world to do
Mmm mmm mmm
 [Pre-chorus 1]
It’s not like it was planned
Once it touches us
All the time giving up
Always going towards the crash
 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice
Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself
 [Chorus]
"Let’s not go shopping, not today"
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
You tell me and I’ll shop for you
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
You tell me and I’ll shop for you
 [Verse 3]
The weight of the glue
It doesn't make sense if it's like this
Dying with the excuse (From!)
That there is no other way to live
 [Verse 4]
No, see, I want to spend more time with you
If a window opens I will take advantage of it
Mmm mmm mmm
Yeah, see, and now that you’re also free
We will have all the time in the world to do
Mmm mmm mmm
 [Pre-chorus 2]
More than enough
And I fully complain
But the time of the world
It's not that long either
 Meeting deadlines that do not exist in practice
Fulfilling goals that you never set for yourself
 [Chorus]
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
You tell me and I’ll shop for you
" Let’s not go shopping, not today " ("please!")
" Let’s not go shopping, not today "
You tell me and I’ll shop for you
 [Outro]
With you I have the impression of being safe
That you don't always have to be doing something
 LOOK. LOOK. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE TROPE OF THESE TWO ACTING LIKE EMBARASSED TEENAGERS AND THIS IS MY SHITPOST APRIL FOOLS PLAYLIST SO I AM GOING TO THROW IN A COOL TEEN CRUSH SONG SHUT UP. I love the intimacy of just. Groceries for each other, “casually” making time for each other, it’s just the best. Also “But the time of the world/It's not that long either” is HNNG with full game spoilers but you know what. It is also sweet. Fuck you, they want to spend quality time…
7.       Tartar de estár major- literally just a terrible cheesy “things will be better OR ELSE” credits scene type song
Translated lyrics:
Tell that old story
That despite everything some things remain
The moments lived
Memories that will remain
Deep in the soul
Nothing can make you forget
That we walked the same path
And the things that we did
 It was because we wanted to be
Again in this place
Despite the mistakes
Despite the flaws and virtues
I keep in me the best
Moments that will remain
Deep in the soul
 abandon everything and think no more
You can not forget what you lived
And your loved ones
They miss you when you are gone
They don't want to cry for you
 Many times
we had to be apart
And feel that despite the distance
We feel the same as each other always
 Nothing can make you forget
That we walked the same path
And the things we did was because we wanted to be
Again in this place
 Do not overthink it more
There is always a reason
Trying to revive
Trying to be better
 Trying to be better
 A song about memories… and being loved and values… and surviving through those memories and that love in order to try to become a better person……. That’s all I’m gonna say….
10 notes · View notes
jt-artsandfics · 3 years
Text
Mantis blades and Gorrila fist pt 5
~~~~~~
Woah chapter five I'm quite happy with myself
I hope you all enjoy and I can't wait to make more
~~~~~~~
V woke up a little after 9am still wrapped up in the sheets of his bed while laying onto of Oda. The Arasaka guard was running his fingers thought Vexrins messy and tangled blue and red hair humming lightly.
Vex moves a little to meet the Pale grey eyes "Good morning" Oda lent down and places a soft kiss on Vs lips, a soft dreamy look on his face as he lays back down.
They layed in silence for a good five minutes before Oda groaned about having to get up and get ready for work.
"Vexrin your gonna have to move I need to get ready for work" V grumbs before rolling over onto the bed and pulled the sheets up aroudn his chin as he watches Oda move around the apartment picking up his uniform along with he boots.
This time he doesn't retreat to the safety of the bathroom to get changed. Vex watches him strip and gets a good look at the cybernetics on his throat.
They run out lightly onto his shoulders and down his back a little. And that's when he sees the beautiful work of art on Oda's back.
Its a white tiger with bright blue eyes surrounded by tiger lillies "I dont know you had a tattoo!" Oda looks over his shoulder to where V was laying.
"I got it very shortly after I began working for Hanako-sama. Takemura-san also have a tattoo down his back. It is something that means alot too me. Both Takemura and I got them right after I was assigned to Hanako. His is a fox and Wolf with cherry blossoms and Iris. He said flowers have meaning to them and the ones you pick define you for who you are. What of you Vexrin do you have flowers that have meaning to you?" Oda begins pulling his uniform pants up and buckling them.
As V gets up off the bed he part of his pants down to show a small ring of flowers on the side of his him. "Violets and For get me not?" Oda asked looking at the tattoo of the small blue and purple, red and yellow flowers.
"Forget me nots had a big meaning to me when I was younger while violets I loved becuase my little brother and used to have a small garden filled with both of them, some times we would make tea with the Violets" V explains as he moves behind Oda to run his hands over the Tiger on his back.
"It's beautiful craftsman ship, I used to want to follow my dad's footsteps and me a tattoo artist but then it became easier for people to get tattoos" Vexrin smiled lightly tracing the lines down Oda's back. Oda turns around to face V. "Your father was a tattoo artist?" Vex let's out a small chuckle as he inspected the detail in Oda's Ink. "Yea he was, he was really good at it two, Indian I got to learn more about it"
Both pale grey and black and white meet again. "I've seen you have another tattoo on your chest it's a snake of a sort?" Oda asked as he pulls his shirt on and begins to button it up.
Vexrin pulls his shirt off to show the tattoo of a colourful snake that wraps around part of his body with a small heart tattooed on his chest.
"Ngalyod or the Rainbow serpent, Im orignally from Austraila. my nanna would tell stories about my ancestry that she was told when she was young. We used to have her tell them to us as bed time stories. But the rainbow serpent was one which I always loved to hear about, learning about part of my culture that we didn't really learn about when my mother and father past. But both poppy and nanna told up a all the stories"
Vexrin smiles lightly remembering all the good times from his childhood from running aroudn on the small farm he lives on got he dream time stories that his family would tell so that they would not forget who and were he came from.
Oda had finished pulling his uniform on and enjoyed the recountings of V's family and story. "Your family where are they now?" He asked.
Taking a seat to do his shoes. "My little brother Dustin moved to Night city with me when I was given the chance of a corpate job, he is going to school at one of the higher education schools. While my nanna passed away 5 years ago my poppyis still living out on his small farm in Queensland I send him money when I can so he can keep the farm going.
He didn't want me to work for the big cooperations, said he feel it in his bones that something would go wrong. I guess he was right" Oda can feel The sad smile of V's face he pulls him in for a hug placing his chin on Vex's head.
"I apologise for asking, I did not wish to bring bad memories" V let's out a small laugh before moving slightly. "Can I kiss you?" He asks very lightly and if Oda didn't have his enhancements he most likely wouldn't have heard him.
Oda leans down and places a quick kiss on V's lips. He pulls away picking up a bag with the rest of his gear in it. "I have to head to work now but am aloud to come back later tonight?" He asked hoping that this wasn't a one time thing.
V pulls him back into a kiss this one was sweet and quick and V let out a soft laugh again. "You are welcome over anytime" he gives Oda a quickpeek on the forehead before pushing him to the door.
" Now go to work or you are gonna be late!"
V watches as Oda leave his apartment before finally heading back inside, he moves around getting ready for the day when he get a call for Misty.
"Hey V I was just checking in on you again I know it's been a few weeks, I did a reading for you, I did a past, present and future spread and well you got the Tower reversed, death upright and the Lovers upright. So its very different" v stood there for a while trying to recall the meanign for the card.
" I remember death upright is something to do with change and transformation but I do remember the other too, I swear the death cards my friend at this point " misty has a light laugh before she continues.
" tower reversed can mean  Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster. All decks are different so they could have different meanings. Death upright is Endings, change, transformation, transition and as you have said your familiar with this card and the Lovers upright is love, harmony, relationships, alignment, choices so it's very different from. What you normally have. So my question is there someone you are seeing?" Misty asked making Vex blush.
"Maybe.. well I don't know what it is but like yes. No? I don't have a clue.. ok he's coming over tonight" misty is laughing on the other end of the call.
"Well how about you come stop by the shop which I close up for the day and we go out for the day!" V smiled at the suggestion. " that be awesome Misty I'll meet you at the shop" with that there call ended and Vex got read to leave as he does he decided to shoot Goro a message.
Vex: hey, hey Goro, was wondering if you could forward me Sandayu's contact, Please and thank you!
Takemura: I must ask Why Vex, had Oda been a bother again?
Vex: hahaha no but we have started talking and I i forgot to ask him for his holo, he's been sparing with me a little But we aren't at each other's throats anymore.
Goro: that is good to hear :), I will forward his contact to you shortly,
Once Oda had left Vexrins he had arrived at work with 30 minutes to spare. As he walked into the Estate he gave a quick bow to the other guard as he made his way tough being checked.
He gets a notification the only people who would be messaging him would be Hanako, Goro and his parents. So when an unknown number pops up he is hesitant but decided by her to get it out to the way.
.....: Hey Oda it's me Vex, just letting you know that spare keys are in the broken light on the door"
He lets out a small chuckle before sending but a message
Sandayu: thank you Vexrin.
He quickly sets V's contact up.
Name: Vex-kun
Number: ////////////
He has a bit of a laugh to himself about it but in the end leave it.
After that most of the day had been staying within the room which Hanako was or following her where ever she needed to be.
As the day slowly turned to night they had arrived back at Hanako's estate, Oda was watching the time almost like a hawk at this point and it didn't go un noticed.
He still has alteast half an hour until his shift ends, he had never feel that time going so slow until now.
"Oda?" He turns to Hanako again she had a light smile on her face as she calls him to take a seat. He walks over and sits down.
"Will you be staying and watch old movies tonight, you seem like you want to be anywhere but here" he lets out a sigh. "Forgive me Hanako-sama, that is not my intention, just excited and nerves" that peaks Hanako's interest. He can seem the small smile as she bring her glass to her lips. 
"And what could have you so distracted, should I say who?" They share a small laugh and it goes quite again. "A man, I... I trust you Hanako-sama and.. fuck it's V" he closes his eyes and a blush can be seen across his cheeks. Hanako let's out a laugh before placing her hands on his shoulders.
"If he makes you happy then I have no problem with it, if he hurts you not even Takemura will save him" the next half an hour was Hanako asking question and Oda answering them.
When his shift was over Hanako waved he out with a smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag list @simping-for-sandayu-oda @gvitch @v-is-for-witch @hippiefricked @inkrabbit @shitposting-for-the-soul
~~~~~~~~
12 notes · View notes
heavenly-roman · 4 years
Text
Look At The Stars, Look How They Shine For You
Plot: In which Logan and Virgil both have crushes, and Roman and Patton are done with their shit
Warnings: sympathetic Deceit and Remus, crying, one (1) kiss, flirting, mild swearing, not a warning but roman is non-binary so
Pairing(s): analogical, background roceit (are u surprised?) and background intruality? dukality? moduke? idk it’s pat/remus, platonic drlamp
Word Count: 3894
if you like this, consider buying me a coffee?
Taglist: @emo-disaster @shitpost-sides
(ao3 link!!!)
this was my secret santa gift for @thepurpmann!!! very glad u enjoyed it, and thank u for giving me such a wonderful prompt :)
+++
“-and that’s when I said, listen here, buddy-” “Roman, shut up,” Virgil orders his best friend, who makes an offended noise and places their hand over their heart as if they’ve been wounded.
“I’ll have you know, it is very rude to-”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Virgil waves his hand to dismiss Roman, before gesturing to a boy laughing with his friend. “Who is that? Is he new?”
“Aw, does little emo have a crush?” Roman backs away before their shorter friend can elbow them in the stomach as they anticipated. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! That’s Liam, or Levi, or Lucas, or… something like that. He’s in my first period math, super smart but kind of a show-off, if you ask me.”
“I don’t think you have any jurisdiction to call anyone a show-off, Princey,” Virgil shrugged, walking towards the boys and leaving Roman to pout.
Virgil approaches the pair, and before his anxiety talks him out of it, he asks the blonde boy, “Hey Patton, do you have the assignment rubric for art? I think I lost mine.”
“Oh yeah of course!” Patton chirps, slinging his backpack in front of him. “Just let me find it!”
Virgil smiles at him, and turns to face Liam or Levi or Lucas. “Sorry for interrupting you guys, it was just uh, important. I’m Virgil.” He rubs the back of his neck, all of his confidence drained from being so close to this new kid.
Liam or Levi or Lucas smiles, and Virgil’s breath catches in his throat. “Don’t worry about it, it was a mundane conversation that was vastly improved when you arrived. I’m Logan.”
Virgil feels his cheeks heat up as he reaches his hand out for Logan to shake. “Nice to meet you, Logan. You new here?”
“I just started here last week actually,” Logan grabs his hand and it takes everything in Virgil to not faint because wow, is he gay and this guy is strong. “Thanks for noticing. Although, I would've appreciated it more if you had noticed when I sat beside you in History class on my first day, and have been sitting there since.”
Virgil sputters, internally scolding himself for not noticing the hot guy that has apparently sat beside him for a whole week . “Oh, uh, sorry, I- that class is just really boring, you know? And I  usually fall asleep or listen to music so I don’t really, um, pay attention to the world around me. So… sorry.”
Logan begins to respond, but Patton beats him to it, pulling out the rubric for Virgil. “Okay, here it is! It’s a little crumpled by it should still be legible!”
“Thanks, Pat,” Virgil takes the sheet of paper and turns back to Logan. “I should get to class. See you in history?”
“Yeah, see you then,” and Virgil thinks he’s imagining the excited glint in Logan’s eyes. He gives a two-finger salute and walks away, completely ignoring Roman’s questions when he rejoins them.
+++
As the bell rang for lunch, Logan files out of class and beginning walking to his locker. Patton jogs to catch up, bumping his shoulder into Logan’s.
“So,” Patton starts, grinning as Logan nods at him to continue. “You and Virgil, huh? Does someone have a little crush?”
“Please, Patton,” Logan scolds, trying to ignore his flushing cheeks. “I just met Virgil today, there is no feasible way-”
“Logan.”
“Alright, I suppose I could be attracted to him,” Logan concedes, hiding his face in his locker to avoid Patton’s teasing gaze. When he emerges from his locker, money in hand to buy lunch, Patton’s mischievous smile greets him, and rightfully so, Logan becomes concerned. The blonde boy links his arm through Logan’s and begins marching them through the hall.
“Well, it’s a great thing that we’re going to have lunch with him and Roman then, isn’t it?” Patton smiles as Logan sputters, ignoring the taller teen’s protests and pulling him along towards the cafeteria. Logan spends their time in line trying to convince his friend to rethink his sabotage plan.
“Patton, this is a bad idea. I just acknowledged my possible feelings for him-”
“Hi Virgil, mind if Logan and I sit with you?”
“Uh, yeah, go ahead,” Virgil gestures for them to sit down. “Roman is just buying their lunch, they’ll be here soon.”
Logan nods stiffly and begins eating his pizza, silently cursing himself for becoming friends with Patton and letting him lead him into this situation. There are a few moments of awkward silence before Virgil speaks up.
“Hey, Logan?”
Logan looks up, wiping his mouth and nodding for Virgil to continue.
“Roman doesn’t know your name, so do you think-”
“You can call me many different names that begin with the letter L?” Logan raises his eyebrow.
“Please?”
“It would be my honour to mess with your friend.”
“A man after my own heart,” Virgil punctuates his sentence by placing his hand on his chest and wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. Logan ducks his head down to hide his blush from the two men he’s sitting with.
It’s then that Roman makes a reappearance, tray in hand, talking to a taller boy with a smirk on his face. The boy walks away and Virgil has to snap his fingers in his friends face to gain their attention.
“Hello? Earth to Roman?” He calls, chuckling at Roman’s love struck face. They shake their head to clear their mind and sit down to join the three other teens.
“Roman, this is Liam,” Virgil introduces, shooting a wink to Logan, who might as well just die right here.
“Pleasure to formally meet you, Liam,” Roman says, taking Logan’s hand to shake. “Say, have you met Dee?”
“Dee?” Logan asks. “Is that the person you were just talking to?”
“I was just talking to him, yes. Isn’t my boyfriend so cute?”
“He’s not your boyfriend, Ro,” Virgil corrects, stabbing his salad with a fork to emphasize his point.
“Not yet, but if he keeps flirting with me like that? I’ll force him to date me.”
“I’m sure there’s a nicer way for you to ask him out,” Patton playfully scolds. He elbows Logan under the table, to which Logan sends him a glare he can only hope is as subtle as he thinks.
“Nah, I think they’re gonna have to use force,” Virgil shrugs. “What do you think, Levi?”
“Levi?” Comes Roman’s confused whisper.
Logan suppresses a laugh and answers, “I don’t think Dee would flirt with you if he had no interest in you, Roman.”
Roman sends Virgil a look that Logan can’t define, and responds, “Thank you! Someone who has some common sense at this table!”
Patton pretends to be offended, while Virgil chooses to throw a cherry tomato at Roman’s face.
“I’m perfectly sensible, thank you very much,” Virgil picks up another tomato and laughs when Roman protects their face.
“If you’re so sensible, why haven’t you asked out-”
“Because Remus has a crush on Patton!” Virgil quickly interrupts.
Logan feels his heart sink. It’s foolish to think that Virgil could have been interested in him. Virgil is hot, funny, snarky, and in no way attracted to the nerd who sits beside him in history class. His breathing grows heavy and there’s a lump in his throat. Tears sting his eyes as he tries to control himself. How could he have been so stupid? And why on Earth is he so upset?
“-knew Remus has a crush on him, it’s very obvious Virgil. Almost as obvious as your crush on-”
“If you’ll all excuse me,” Logan whispers, his voice not able to go any louder in fear of crying in the very open cafeteria. He clambers out of his seat and speedwalks to the bathroom, doing his best to not draw attention to himself. He hears a Logan, wait! From Virgil, followed by a Logan? From Roman, and he can’t bring himself to laugh.
The bathroom is empty, luckily for him, but he throws himself into a stall anyway. He locks the door and takes off his glasses, furiously rubbing at his eyes to shoo away the tears. He thanks himself for having the common sense to have taken his things with him, and chugs half of his water bottle. He does not want a dehydration headache for the rest of the day.
Logan lets himself cry for a minute or two, before he hears the bathroom door open. Upon instinct, he holds his breath and pulls his legs up onto the toilet seat to hide any evidence that he’s there. He’s relieved to see an unfamiliar pair of paint splattered combat boots - that is, until the owner of said boots calls out into the almost empty bathroom, “uh, Logan?”
Logan silently curses - he figures one of the others sent this person in to talk to him, and from the impatient tapping of their boot, he doesn’t think they’ll be leaving anytime soon. He slides his feet off of the toilet seat and stands up, placing his glasses back on his face and takes a deep breath. He opens the stall door, and staring back at him is - Roman? No, a clone of Roman. A much edgier, slightly scarier, more facial hair having, clone.
“They were right, you are cute,” Clone said, looking Logan up and down. They sat against the wall and patted the spot next to them, signalling Logan to sit. Once he did, Clone spoke up. “My name is Remus, I’m Roman’s twin brother.”
“You’re the one that has a crush on Patton?” Logan asked, incredulously. “But you’re…”
“Scary?” Remus fills in, and Logan nods, albeit a little hesitantly. “I get that a lot, don’t worry. Roman will tell you that I’m terrifying, but that’s just because I've pushed them down the stairs one too many times.”
Logan laughs and says, “Well, I think Roman is obligated to be scared of you.”
“You’re right,” Remus sighs. They sit in a comfortable silence as Logan calms his breathing.
“You know,” Remus starts, “I’m not gonna make you talk about whatever made you so upset that you had to run to the bathroom and cry, just know that me, and the others, we’re all here for you, okay? Life sucks sometimes, and all that we can do is be there for each other.”
“Thank you, Remus. I really appreciate it,” Logan stands as the bell rings for third period. “You coming?”
“I’m always fashionably late to class,” Remus leans back against the wall and closes his eyes. “I think if I showed up on time, my teachers would send me to the nurse.”
Logan nods and begins to leave the bathroom, but not before saying, “oh and Remus? Patton’s face lit up when Virgil said you have a crush on him.”
Logan closed the door on Remus’ sputtering, laughing to himself and feeling slightly better.
+++
Virgil repeatedly hits Roman with his sketchbook while they walk him to art class. “I still can’t believe that you would try to tell Logan that I like him!”
“Well I still can’t believe that you tried to trick me with his name!” Roman retorts, catching the book in their hand and throwing it back at Virgil.
“You’re the one that didn’t know his name in the first place.”
“You’re the one that didn’t know he was in your class, smartass.”
Virgil rolls his eyes and waves goodbye to Roman, walking into class and sitting in between Patton and Dee.
“So Dee,” Virgil starts, gaining the boys attention. “When are you planning to officially ask out Roman?”
“I’d probably say the same time you’re planning on officially asking out Logan,” Patton cuts in, innocently shrugging his shoulders.
“I’ve known him for all of one day, Pat.”
“And yet you’re completely infatuated with him.”
“Excuse me, but-“
“Guys?” Dee tries, gaining their attention. “Could you not fight in the middle of class? I don’t think detention would be very ideal for any of us.”
The two boys mumble out their apologies, before Patton turns to Dee. “So when are you asking Roman out?”
Dee flushes and tugs his yellow beanie down over his forehead, “I was thinking of asking them to go with me to the Winter Formal. As a date.”
Patton squeals and Virgil nods approvingly.
“Well, as long as you don’t hurt them, I don’t care what you do.” He leans in close, voice barely above a whisper as he asks, “You know what I did to the last person that broke their heart?”
“Nothing, because you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone?” Dee suggests.
“You wish, Anderson.”
Dee goes to respond, but their teacher begins class, and Virgil sighs a breath of relief. His relief, however, is lived for around three minutes, before their teacher tells them to use the period to finish their current assignment.
“So,” Patton whispers, and Virgil wishes he could disappear so he doesn’t have to have this conversation. “You planning of asking Logan to the Winter Formal?”
“No,” He whispers back, ignoring Patton’s sad expression.
“Why not?”
“Because,” his sentence is interrupted by their teacher shushing them, and reminding them to get back to work. He continues, whispering now, “ Because I just met him, and I have no clue if he even likes me back.”
“He does, Virgil. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“He says no, we ruin our friendship-“
“The friendship you’ve had for a day?”
“Shut up,” Virgil grumbles, shoving Patton. “It would make everything awkward.”
“More awkward than it is now?” Patton raises his hands in surrender. “If you’d rather be two pining idiots-“
“Hey!”
“-that’s fine by me. But when you decide to act on your feelings? Let me know, and I’ll be there to help.”
+++
Fourth period comes, and Logan finds himself dreading it - he’ll have to face Virgil, and he does not want to explain why he ran off during lunch. He elects to just keep his headphones in and hopefully Virgil will ignore him like he has for the past week.
“Hey, Logan?”
Virgil does not ignore him.
“Uh, yeah, what’s up?” Logan takes out his headphones and cringes at his use of slang. Virgil half smiles and sits down beside him.
“You doing okay?” He asks, and Logan can see the concern in his eyes, and damn it, why does he have to be cute and nice?
“Yes, I am perfectly alright, Virgil. Thank you.”
“Of course,” Virgil bumps their shoulders, before turning to look Logan in the eyes. “Listen, I’m not gonna make you tell me-“
“I already heard that all from Remus, but thank you. I really appreciate it,” Logan chuckles. He turns his attention to the teacher as he announces that he’s handing back tests. He looks over, seeing Virgil pale at the announcement.
Logan knows he didn’t do this test - all of his work from his previous school will be counted up and he’ll continue from the new unit - yet he can’t help but feel dread in the pit of his stomach as the teacher places Virgil’s test on his desk, face down.
Virgil peeks at the top corner of his test and swears under his breath. He’s hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, and Logan swear he can hear him mutter, “stupid, stupid, stupid,” over and over again.
“Everything, uh, gucci, Virgil?”
Virgil lets outs humourless chuckle. “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m- I’m good, yeah.”
“May I see your test?”
Virgil hesitantly hands over the paper, burying his head in his hands. Logan flips it over and inhales a sharp breath through his teeth. At the top of the page, in large, red numbers, it says 52%, followed by see me after class .
“Virgil?” Logan asks. The hum he gets in response urges him to continue. “Do you need tutoring?”
“Oh, um,” Virgil rubs the back of his neck. “I - I don’t know about that.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know that right?”
“Yeah, sure,” but the glossiness of his eyes told Logan a different story.
“How about this - I’ll come over and help you with our homework, and we can think of it as a study group. We’re both learning, yeah?” Logan suggests.
“Yeah,” Virgil nods, a small smile creeping its way back onto his face. “Thanks, Logan.”
“Anything for a friend.”
+++
“So the French Revolution-“
“Which one?”
“Virgil-“
“Sorry, sorry, I just - I don’t know why we’re learning all of this? It seems… unnecessary.”
“Why don’t we take a break?” Logan stands from the desk chair and heads to the door. “We will resume in ten minutes.”
Virgil nods and pulls out his phone as Logan leaves, presumably to go to the bathroom. He scrolls through his notifications - a few from Tumblr, Instagram, until a text from Roman pops up.
From: Princey!!
          VIRGIL VIRGIL VIRGIL
To: Princey!!
          yes roman?
From: Princey!!
          DEE ASKED ME TO THE WINTER FORMAL
         AS A DATE
         WERE GOING ON A DATE
To: Princey!!
          that’s awesome!! glad he finally smartened up
From: Princey!!
          Me too!!!!!!! :)))!!!
         Now you just have to smarten up and ask out Logan and we can go on a triple date!!
To: Princey!!
          triple?
From: Princey!!
          Remus asked Patton out yesterday!!!!
Virgil decided not to answer just ask Logan walked back in. The latter checked his watch. “Still have six minutes left of our break, it seems.”
“Yeah,” Virgil mumbles. At Logan’s concerned look, he elaborated. “Dee finally asked Roman out. They’re going to the Winter Formal together.”
“Thank heavens,” Logan sighs, slumping down into his chair. “If I hear Roman complaining about how Dee won’t ask them out one more time …”
“And, uh… Remus is going with Patton.”
“Really? I’m surprised he didn’t chicken out,” Logan says, shrugging. “So, that just leaves you and me, right?”
“Yeah, um, we’re the only two without…” Virgil’s eyes flick down to Logan’s lips, and he truly hopes that his friend is as oblivious as he says. He swallows hard, adding,  “Without dates.”
“So the logical thing would be to go with each other.”
And Virgil is glad he didn’t choose to take a drink at that moment. His face goes red and he stammers out, “You… you want to go, uh, together? As-“
“As friends, yes. I’m sure it would make for a less… lonely night.” Logan looks unsure, “that is, of course, if you’re not planning on asking someone else.”
“I’m not!” Virgil answers too quickly. “I’m… I’m not.”
“Satisfactory. I suppose we should coordinate, then. What’s your favourite colour?”
+++
“As friends?”
“As friends,” Virgil sighs, adjusting his backpack straps as he walks with Roman. “But he still wants to match, so I’m here to find a blue tux and a purple tie, and honestly, is blue really my colour?”
“Virgil, calm down,” Roman pauses their walking, thankful that the mall isn’t very crowded. “You’re getting worked up. Blue will look lovely on you, I promise. Is he wearing the same thing?”
Virgil takes a deep breath and opens his eyes that he didn’t know he closed. “No, uh, he’s getting a purple suit and blue tie.”
Roman’s gasp would’ve scared Virgil, had he not seen the excitement in his friends' eyes. “You’re wearing each others colours? Virgil that is truly-“
“Say adorable and you’re dead.”
“-adorable.”
“And now I’m shopping without you,” Virgil begins walking away, until Roman catches up to him and reminds him which of the two of them has style, and which one wears a hoodie everyday.
They spend the afternoon going from suit shop to suit shop, only getting mildly distracted when Roman sees a dress they just had to try on.
Finally, they find the perfect suit - navy blue, and very subtly pinstriped. Along with that, Virgil buys a purple tie, matching almost perfectly to the patches on his hoodie.
He’s as ready as he’ll ever be.
+++
Logan sharply knocks three times, and stands back, waiting for the door to open.
“Oh, hello Logan!” Says Virgil’s mother. “Come in, come in, Virgil is almost ready.”
Logan nods, accepting the invitation. He stands in the doorway, tapping his foot. He pats his pocket, and soon after all his worries come to the front of his head. What if he hates it? What if it’s inappropriate for a school dance? What if-
“Logan?” Virgil is right in front of Logan, waving his hand in his face. “You alright?”
“Yes, I’m…” Logan takes the opportunity to finally look at Virgil - his blue suit fitted perfectly around his shoulder, his white shirt contrasting perfectly with his pale skin. Logan feels his mouth go dry, because damn is he gay . “...fine.”
Virgil smirks, “you sure about that?”
“Yes, I am perfectly alright.” Logan clears his throat, “you look… very handsome.”
“Oh, uh, thank you,” Virgil flushes. “You look great, too.”
“Thank you,” Logan smiles.
“Shall we go?”
“Oh, um, actually,” Logan pulls the small box from his pocket. “I got you something.”
Virgil takes the box, the look of surprise on his face morphing into excitement. He pulls out the handkerchief, black with constellations printed on it. “Logan, this is… beautiful. Thank you.”
“Of course. You spoke about how fascinated you were by the stars and I saw it and thought of you, so...” he pulls out a second handkerchief. “I got one for myself, as well. Now we are truly matching.”
Virgil fiddles with the handkerchief and eventually manages to fit it into his pocket. “Now, shall we go?”
“Let’s.”
+++
The venue is decorated with blues and silvers, snowflakes at every table and white Christmas lights strung on the ceiling.
The group found table 16 and sat down with their respective dates.
“So, Logan,” starts Roman. “How’re you enjoying your first official dance at Sanders High?”
“I suppose it’s satisfactory. Though I’m sure the food will not be to my liking,” Logan looks at Virgil and mutters, “my date is quite nice, however.”
The flush on Virgil’s face is enough to tell Logan that he’d heard. “It’s never good, by the way,” he answers.
The DJ turns on a slow song, and Virgil proposes, “Do you want to dance?”
“It would be my honour.”
The two make their way to the dance floor, holding hands and sufficiently blushing. Virgil holds onto Logan’s waist as Logan moves his hands to Virgil’s shoulders. They sway for a short while until Patton “accidentally” pushes them closer together.
Chest to chest, Logan feels his heart figuratively pounding out of his chest. He looks up at Virgil and his partner smiles, and Logan is overwhelmed. He leans up.
He leans up and kisses him.
Virgil, to his credit, is only surprised for about three and a half seconds before he kisses back. His hands move from Logan’s waist to his cheeks, and he pulls him in impossibly closer.
They break apart when the song ends, and pretend to ignore the cheering from their friends. Slowly, Virgil leans down again for a soft, shorter kiss.
“So,” Virgil says.
“So,” Logan replies.
“What do you say we go on a real date, hmm?”
“You mean going to a school dance as friends and then kissing halfway through doesn’t count as a real date?” Logan chuckles, “and here I thought I’d been doing it correctly.”
“You’re a dork.”
“Your dork.”
“Yeah, I guess you are mine.”
203 notes · View notes
drunklander · 4 years
Text
Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 508
I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.
At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?
But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.
I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.
“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.
“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.
I already want to fastforward.
Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.
Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.
Hate.
HAAAAATE.
Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?
It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*
Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.
For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.
At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.
Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.
Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.
I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.
Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.
And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.
Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.
Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.
LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.
Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.
*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.
Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.
Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.
CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.
GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.
OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!
So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?
Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.
Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.
John Bell is really good in this episode.
Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.
Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.
Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.
That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.
Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.
Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!
Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?
“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.
HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.
Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.
My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?
Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.
Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.
Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.
Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?
Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.
Also, can we please have more Adso?
SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!
Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.
So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.
NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.
Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.
Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.
64 notes · View notes
Text
Kombat Krew Summertime Headcanons;
For one brief moment, the UK had some sunshine, now it’s gone back to raining and being windy. I blame Brexit. So, I wrote these whilst it was hot and finished them when it was pissing them down. The price I pay for living in the North and having beautiful landscapes, nice water and friendly locals; is that the weather will always be shit. I also went overboard for Kabal. As per.  Warnings; Little NSFW, 18+  so it’s under the cut. Kano. But it’s a shitpost. Swearing, fluff, angst, all the usual shit.
GIFS do not belong to me.
Tumblr media
Kabal;
·         Just like his mom used to say, ‘Suns out, guns out’ He will literally wear little to nothing. The littlest bit of sun, and he’s already stripped down to shorts and a vest. He’s used to the heat and fucking loves it.
·         He will take you on cute dates. Walks in the park, late night walks through the city, him driving an hour to get to the best places that sells shakes and ice cream. He’s down for it all.
·         He loves that it doesn’t get dark till later on, it means if he’s working a late shift, he can still spend a fair bit of time with you.
·         Summer means his bike comes out of the garage. He loves nothing more than to go for a long bike ride on a Sunday. He’ll sometimes go a bit quicker, just to make you wrap your arms around his waist tighter. But your safety is his priority.
·         Cute. Fucking. Picnics. He can sort of cook, but he’ll love to just lounge about with you… then turn into making out with you.
·         He’s deeply into PDA, he just thinks the world needs to know of your love for each other. So, he’ll always have an arm around you, taking selfies with you and just generally being cute as fuck.
·         Will rock up and take you to lunch. You can go wherever you want.
·         Swimming is on the table. He’s more into teasing in the water.
·         At night you’ll have to forsake cuddling for hand holding. If it’s too warm to cuddle.
·         He’ll let you play with the AC. He’s easy.
·         Most of the above is Pre-Burn. Post-Burn is a lot different.
·         He hates his body and doesn’t want to overly show it off in Public. It’s different on Missions but in terms of casual wear. He’s going to suffer through the heat.
·         So, for the sake of him, you stick to cool places or stay at home.
·         He prefers winter now. And at first, he won’t take as many selfies with you, but that will change once he feels more confident.
·         The body thing won’t change, people can be cruel, and he doesn’t want to put himself or you through that.
·         He’ll still sit half naked at home once his confidence has returned.
·         His skin is also much more sensitive and can burn very easily. So, he has to stay in if it’s too warm. Or else it will feel like he’s on fire again.
·         So cold baths and cold showers are on the table. With a little bit of teasing and a whole lot of body worship.
Tumblr media
Sub Zero (Kuai Liang);
·         What. Is. This. Fresh. Fucking. Hell?
·         He hates this. He fucking hates it. It’s why he doesn’t visit Hanzo a lot. Or leave Arktika. Because he hates it.
·         He won’t let on how much he hates it. No. He tries to suffer in silence, but you can tell by how uncomfortable he looks.
·         Whilst he doesn’t melt or feel the heat overly, he is affected by it a fair bit. If it’s majorly warm, then he’s going to mildly be uncomfortable. That, and he has hay fever.
·         When he wakes up with scratchy eyes, his throat on fire and he looks like he’s just been punched. He knows summer is here.
·         He does like that you wear cute clothes in summer though. It does bring a smile to his face, and if you’re happy then he can live with the uncomfortableness.
·         He grew up with the cold most of his life. So, he never really got experience summer. He never really got to experience much outside training to be honest.
·         So, you’ll get to introduce him to fun summer things to do. All whilst he’s worrying about the Clan because Bi-Han is in charge.
·         He has a sweet-tooth, so the fact you can both divulge in that pleasure is great. He’ll love to share his ice-cream with you.
·         He also likes how cuddly you get in summer. How you cuddle up to him at night, press his hands against your face, neck, back, stomach etc. He is now your personal air conditioner. And he now understands Jonny’s joke.
·         He doesn’t mind. He just wants to be close to you and feel close to you. So, he feels content with this. He’ll only feel comfortable doing it in private however. PDA is not his thing.
·         At night, he loves that he finally gets to spoon you. His once cold hands that woke you up, becoming a relieving comfort. He wants to be close to you. He’s so touch starved and now he gets all the touch he wants. Even deep within the night.
·         Kissing him as more refreshing than all the lemonade in the world. His mouth feels cold, and breathing him in, is like breathing in cold air.
·         He’ll also be more inclined to lounge around with you with his shirt off, so you can lay on his chest, back pressed firmly against him. He’s getting to keep you cool and be close to you, and you’re getting the same. He sees this as a win, win situation.
·         He knows summer makes him uncomfortable, not so much so its unbearable, he still has a human side. But you make it all better for him.
Tumblr media
Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi);
·         Summertime, unlike Sub, does not bother him in the slightest. In fact, the Shira Ryu Fire garden is in full bloom. Everything looks scenic and majestic as fuck. He has to admit he’s low-key relaxed.
·         Training and meditation outside happen more so for him. He detests the cold. He’ll stand with a big coat on in winter. But Summer, he can relax, and everything feels so much calmer.
·         He’ll love to take you on walks through the garden. Pointing out various flora and fauna. Telling you the Japanese names of all the flowers.
·         He’ll also be more inclined to take his food outside and sit with you. The both of you sat in peace, enjoying each other’s company.
·         The cool summer breeze will occasionally blow hairs from his man-bun, letting them cascade and frame his face. Which makes him seem less gruff and stubborn and softer.
·         Night times with him consist of a lot of tossing and turning on your part. He’s warmer than average. Which means when it comes time to cuddle, he’s making you warmer. He feels bad, but he also likes to hold you in your sleep. Like Kabal, you compromise and fall asleep holding hands, or back to back. As long as he can feel you’re close he can rest easy.
·         He likes tea, but he knows this weather is not the best for a searing hot cup (Unless you’re British, then there is always time for tea), so he’ll bring you ice tea.
·         He relaxes a little more in summer, his guard is ever so slightly down, and you swear you can see him smile. He has a bad experience with ice and snow, so it is understandable.
·         When it’s just the two of you, he will let you make and put a flower crown on him… only if he can put one on you first.
·         He’ll also be more inclined to sleep butt ass naked. So, you get that view to wake up to. Which is always a bonus.
Tumblr media
Cassie Cage;
·         Summer time is her jam.
·         Lots of cute drives out with her, getting cold drinks and generally bumming about.
·         It’s not often she gets free time, but when she does, she wants to spend it with you. Especially in summer.
·         Swimming in the Special Forces pool. She’s sure you’re meant to swim laps in it. But you know, it is too fucking warm for that shit.
·         She lives for shopping in summer. Picking out cute outfits. Not matching but co-ordinated.
·         She still likes to exercise in summer. She is a fucking machine. She doesn’t expect you to wake up and run with her… but maybe if you’re awake when she gets back, you can go for a walk.
·         In terms of walks, nice scenic woods and forests. Something more of a gentle walk and more relaxing than a hard-core hike.
·         She is the type of person to take surprise selfies of you. Ones she prints off and hangs on the wall, with those little LED clips.
·         She’ll love to sit out on your balcony or porch, talking shit over a bottle of wine and relaxing.
·         Fruity fucking cocktails are the devils work and she will get wasted on them. You both will.
·         Johnny always throws a BBQ. He doesn’t cook, but Cassie will always invite you around. So, you can enjoy some good food with her.
·         Lots of cute photos.
·         If it’s way too warm, just sat around catching up on TV and drinking some sangria.
·         Theme parks are also on the cards, she loves going out and experiencing life as much as she can! And she loves the adrenaline that comes from riding rides!
·         Long night drives, in which you wake up at the coast or the lakes for a surprise weekend. Consisting of walks, lounging, fishing, quad biking, swimming.
·         And of course, Cassie splashing you in the sea and running away.
·         A summer with Cassie is memorable and always an adventure to conclude!
Tumblr media
Erron Black;
·         He loves warm weather. Texas was warm and so is Outworld. He’s used to this weather and it’s normal for him.
·         Where he is will depend on where and what you are going to be doing.
·         Outworld will consist of lots of banquets, lounging around and horse riding.
·         He wants to show you everything Outworld has to offer. Whether you be exploring the sprawling markets, or if you’re bathing in one of it’s not so secret waterfalls.
·         You’re going to be going out at the crack of dawn and returning with the fireflies.
·         He’ll love to take you to the parties and banquets that Kotal throws.
·         He’ll be all over bringing you a drink over and having an arm around you.
·         Dancing the fucking night away, not caring if you both suck ass at it, he will not be opposed to dancing with you.
·         If he’s still in the Black Dragon, then expect lots of days out. Shopping, grabbing lunch, grabbing a bite to eat. All the usual.
·         Also expect for him to cook some old recipes for you, for the both of you to enjoy out in the garden.
·         At night he’ll still want to hold you, but he understands how warm it can get. He’ll also not sleep with covers or clothes on. So, what a sight for you in the morning.
·         The warm weather makes him a little hornier than usual. So, there is that.
·         He’s not corny or cheesy, okay maybe a little at times, but he will love to watch the sun set slowly with you. Doesn’t matter where you are, he will want to watch the sun set with you. Whisky In hand and your favourite drink. Just enjoying the comfortable silence.
·         Watching the sunset turns into stargazing and him telling you all the stories of the stars and making up new ones for the ones he cannot remember.
Fujin;
·         He is not a fan of warm weather. He can keep himself and you warm if you so please however! He is the god of wind after all!
·         He’s not sure how to spend ‘summer’ since he’s not really ever had the chance to enjoy himself. So, he is down to follow your lead.
·         He only asks for one thing. Please help him braid and keep his hair off his back. He hates warm sticky days, because it causes his hair to stick to his back. And it is his pet peeve.
·         He is less versed in Mortal customs than Raiden. His time on Earth has been White Lotus based. So, he’s in for a fucking treat.
·         He would love to go to something like a museum or an aquarium. If it’s warm and sunny outside, he wants to go out and experience all there is!
·         He’d love to visit a museum and look at all the art, historical artefacts and immerse himself more in Earth’s culture. His eyes go really wide as he examines everything.
·         Aquariums are on the list, as the ocean has always fascinated him. He just hasn’t had the time to visit. When he tells you that he’s never really been to the beach. You’ll plan a day trip there. Since looking at fish is one thing, but him actually visiting the sea is another.
·         When you go to the beach with him for the first time, he’s like over the fucking moon. He loves the ocean. The sound is so relaxing, and it fills him with peace. He kind of wants to meditate but then you ask if he fancies a swim.
·         He can swim but not well… so you stick to shallow waters at first, before swimming a little further out. Nothing above waist height. He’s loving it.
·         Whilst he is a Demi-God, nobody else seemingly notices. So, he will sneak a few kisses here and there.
·         He’ll love exploring the city with you, trying new food and sitting on rooftop terraces. He will ask lots of questions and also compliment you a lot.
·         Loves camping and will always take you camping when he can in summer. He’ll tell you all the stories he knows, you’re unsure which are made up and which are true. You don’t want to know because the excitement is in the guessing.
·         He’s lived a long time, and can you tell you anything you want to know.
·         At night if you cannot sleep, he will maybe, just maybe, if you bat your eyelids enough, conjure up a breeze to keep you cool. Not so much you’re cold but more of a comfortable breeze. Now you can both cuddle when you fall asleep.
·         Whilst he doesn’t need a lot of sleep, he does rest and sleep more than Raiden. So, prepare for falling asleep around your little campfire under the stars with him.
·         Fujin needs more love and more screen time.
Kano;
·         Land Down Under starts playing.
·         He’s butt ass naked, parading around.
·         Smells worse than usual.
·         Can cook a mean BBQ.
·         But nobody wants to eat his food, because of his hygiene.  
650 notes · View notes
noxxy-boxxy · 4 years
Text
Hetabang time!
So, it’s finally te time to upload this! I’ve been waiting for this moment lmao
I wrote this and my amazing partner did a drawing of the last scene, but they haven’t posted it yet so imma wait till they do and tag them! 
Edit: Here is the artwork! 
https://aph-florida-shitposts.tumblr.com/post/616694960857710592/they-my-peice-for-the-hetabang-art-thing It’s made by @aph-florida-shitposts The artis amazing and everyone should go and check it out, period.
The meeting ended sooner that day. Thank God. 
Gilbert grabbed his laptop and his briefcase, stretching his neck until it popped. It was Friday, finally, and that meant a lot of things. It meant beer, a nice dinner, some of that leftover cake, and the best part:
"Gilbert! Buongiorno!" 
He could invite him for dinner. He could finally invite Italy for dinner and ask him that thing. 
"Hey, little Italy! Guten morgen!" He smiled, his heart almost doing a cartwheel when Feliciano kissed his cheeks. "What are you doing here? You're going to miss your flight." Even after saying that, Feliciano sat on the table, and Gilbert did the same, not interested If he missed his own. 
"I was looking for you." Said the Italian, and God, if he didn't die at that moment, he really had to be a tough one. His pale face took a very slight shade of pink, invisible to Italy. 
"Oh, so you were searching for me?" Gilbert said, his speech still perfect, his tone normal, but his face warming. Slow but steady. 
"Yes, I wanted to ask you something." Gilbert arched an eyebrow, blinking once or twice. 
«Keep it cool.» He thought, panicking internally. "Oh, yeah, whatever you want, little Italy. I'm all ears." And, to be honest, he didn't expect that much, but surely he didn't see that one coming.
"Can you help me with my paperwork?" 
Oh God, Italy was lucky he liked him. He wouldn't waste his weekend explaining paperwork to anybody, but him. He was the only exception. 
But now, he surely was going to be talking about boring numbers, when they could be having a delicious dinner and a delicious dessert. Amazing. 
Unless. 
"Come with me. We can stay together at my house and I can explain to you how I do my paperwork." He smiled, petting the Italian's head. "Then, we can have dinner together. I'll make some homemade pasta for you and we can have cake at the end." And that was the exact way to convince Italy. Gilbert smiled softly, seeing Italy jump from one place to another while he sang some song. "Okay, okay. Chill, Kleine. Don't hurt yourself." Italy stopped and grabbed his hand, tangling his fingers with his own. 
"I would love that, Gilbert!" He smiled widely, so beautifully. "Oh, Gil, you're red. Is something wrong?" 
"Uh, nothing..."
They were kneading the dough, and Gilbert was amazed at the way Italy did it. His movements were perfectly fluent, his voice hummed a soft song, his eyes half-open. He stopped for a second, pinching the dough slightly. 
"It's ready to stretch and cut." Prussia nodded, and then, they began to stretch the dough, making it thinner. Over, and over, and over again, until Feliciano felt like it was perfect. Then, they passed it through the cutter, making perfect spaghetti. 
"Perfect." Said Prussia, bringing a tray with flour. "It's ready to cook." Italy nodded, looking incredibly happy. They both went to the kitchen, where the water in the pot was already boiling. Italy added some salt, and then, the pasta. 
"It should be ready in two or three minutes. Could you check the sauce?" Gilbert nodded, and went to another pot, opening it and grabbing some sauce with a spoon. He tasted it, the flavor lingering in his mouth. It was absolutely... 
"Delicious." He said, smiling widely. "It's delicious." Feliciano smiled, looking at him, small little face so adorable. He wanted to take a picture, no jokes. Gilbert covered the pot, seeing how his hand trembled, feeling his throat tightening. «Everything is going to be okay.» He had to say to himself. 
And he really hoped it would be. 
"Well, I think it's ready to drain." He nodded, getting closer. Italy was holding a fork, where one string of pasta sat. "Could you taste it, Gil?" And he extended his hand, offering him not the fork, but the food. He had to stop a second, trying to gain control of his face, to avoid that God damned red. He got even closer, eating the spaghetti from his hand. 
"It's ready." He said, tasting it. It had the right amount of salt, and it wasn't incredibly soft, but a little bit chewy. It was perfect.
Italy drained it and put it in the same pot with the sauce. he moved it around with a pair of tweezers, and then, it was perfectly ready to eat. 
"Let's go. I'm hungry." Italy smiled, grabbing a bottle of wine and a bottle of beer. Prussia nodded, grabbing the pot. 
"So, did you understand that thing about your paperwork?" Italy nodded, smiling and grabbing his glass of wine. 
"Yes, thanks." He smiled, taking a sip of wine. "You're a very good teacher, Gil." 
"Oh, ask West or America, they'll probably have something else to say." He laughed. "I am a good teacher, indeed," he started, grabbing his bottle. "but I am not going soft on anyone. You're just a special case. Usually, I would be more strict and rude with any other. Only for you." And Gilbert smiled softly, booping the Italian's nose, making him laugh.
"I like you a lot, Gil!" He smiled, and Gilbert definitely felt something jump in his chest. 
"Ah, yea, ja." He mumbled, looking away. "Actually, little Italy... Feliciano" He whispered, taking a big breath. "I like you too. I like you a lot." And Italy didn't even flinch. 
"Yeah! Me too, Gil! You're an amazing friend!" Oh, no. 
"No, dearest. I mean, uh, I like you, like, more than a friend. I like you a lot more." 
"Like a best friend, then! You're my best friend!" And Gilbert rolled his eyes, but Italy kept talking before he could explain himself. "I wouldn't change you as my best friend for anything in the world! You'll always be the best friend I could ever have, and I hope nothing ruins our friendship!" For God's sake, Gilbert thought, almost speaking again. 
Unless... 
"You... Wouldn't want me to be anything more than... Your best friend? Only... That?" He said, his voice normal, but something was cracking. "Not even-"
"Always friends!" Italy interrupted him. 
Then, he understood. Italy was understanding what he really wanted to say, but he surely didn't want to reject him. He just wanted him to... Catch the cue. He only wanted him as a friend. 
He only wanted him as a friend. 
"O-oh, yeah. Always... F-friends." He whispered, forcing that painful sensation at the back of his throat. Not yet. "I should take you to the airport so you can go back, Italy. You're going to miss your flight." He said, getting up and grabbing his keys and his helmet. He went to the garage, putting the key at the contact on his motorcycle. "Move, Italy! We don't have all the time in the world!" His words sounded a lot ruder and mean, like if he was tired or angry. Obviously, Italy got scared, and just followed the orders. The garage door opened with the controller, and they went out. Suddenly, Italy had to hold himself again Gilbert, because hell, they were going 100 kph, and it was just rising. They arrived at the airport in 3 minutes, when usually it would take 15. 
"Let’s go." And as soon as they were on the ground they were running. Or well, he was almost running. Gilbert was just walking. Incredibly quickly. Gilbert had to buy the tickets for him because obviously, the people spoke German.
"Here. Have this." Italy grabbed the tickets with one hand, while he grabbed his document and passport from his briefcase with the other. 
"Is everything alright, Gil?" He literally had to take a step back when Prussia looked at him. His eyes were glowing. 
"I don't allow my own brother to call me by my name, Italy. You don't have that privilege either." He deadpanned. 
But... Italy wasn't dumb. At least, not when it came to feelings. Even if Prussia was "angry", he saw sadness. In his face, those eyes were not glowing, they were shining.
"Gilbert..." He whispered, trying to put a hand on his shoulder, but at that second, his flight was announced. Prussia didn't even say goodbye, he just left. 
His eyes were shining, yes. And he swore, he saw a tear leaving his left eye. 
«Is he sad?"
Gilbert went back to his house calmly. He entered and started washing the dishes. The leftover spaghetti was poured in a container and stored in the fridge, with the forgotten cake. Then, he went to the table, grabbing his bottle of beer. It was half full, but in a second, he drank the rest. The wine was stored in the fridge, and the glass... He literally spent half an hour looking at it, trying to go back in time, when he bought that glassware, the moment when he grabbed it from the counter, just some hours ago. That moment, when they were still friends. 
His knuckles turned white, and in a quick movement, he threw the glass against the floor, turning it to just useless shards. Panting, he kneeled at its side, slowly picking up the pieces, just hissing when one of them cut his finger. 
Wine stung, but the tears falling were even more painful. 
The meeting was in Berlin that day. Ironically.
"He didn't come today..." Whispered Italy, looking at the German's seat, unoccupied. In his place, Germany entered, even when he was, technically, on vacation. Apparently, though, he was not there for the meeting, because he wore just civilian clothes. 
"Italy." He said, looking at him. "Can we talk? Please?" Italy nodded, concerned. He looked slightly sad but he looked mad too. Something surely had to be going around the Germanic countries. "What happened last Sunday, Italy? When I came back, Prussia was devastated. And I mean, really, sad."
"I knew he was sad. We were just talking, and in a second he was suddenly really mad but really sad. I swear I saw him crying."
"What were you two talking about? Do you remember what you said or what he said the moment when he changed?" 
"We were talking about our friendship! I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me too, but, like, more than a friend! Then I thought, well he wants to be my best friend, and then it went down really quick and he was like that in a second." 
Germany observed him for a second, and then he arched an eyebrow. 
I mean. He thought he was the clueless one, but even he would have understood that. 
"So. Let's set things clear. You said something like 'I like you', then he said 'I like you too.' Then you started talking about friends, but he said 'I like you more than a friend.' Then you started talking about best friends. Then, he was suddenly angry. Is that what happened?”
"¡Si Capitano!" Said Italy, smiling widely. And oh God, he thought he was the clueless one. 
"Italy, my dear friend." He started, taking a deep breath. He needed France. "Let's say, a man and a woman are together. And he says 'I like you more than a friend.' What would you think he's meaning?"
"He loves her!" Italy said, smiling. And he smiled and smiled until he didn't. "He... He loves... Her." Slowly, he whispered. 
"And what if he does things for her he wouldn't do in normal situations? Like, cooking for her, or allowing her to call him by his name, or taking the time to explain to her something slowly, when everyone would say he's a devil when he's teaching. Or calling her with endearments, when he doesn't do that. What would you think? Does he want to be her friend?" And Italy slowly came into realization. 
"Oh my God, I messed it up. I ruined everything. I wasted his time. I fell really low. I-" And Germany had to touch his arm, to prevent him from missing the line. "I have to go and talk to him." And he almost ran away, just in the for Ludwig to grab him and bring him back. 
"Do you have any idea of what you’re going to say, at least?" Italy arched his eyebrow, opening his mouth, but Ludwig spoke first. "He liked you even when we were dating, but he never said anything. He liked you since the beginning. And I can't risk you going there and messing it up even more because I haven't seen him this sad since 1945. He doesn't deserve so much pain, and I won't let you go there unless you know exactly what to say." He took a deep breath. "Do you like him? Not like a friend. Not like a best friend." And Italy, slowly, nodded, making him smile. "Give me a pen. I have to give you the address. He's not in Berlin, so you'll have to go now unless you want to miss the train that goes to Hamburg." Italy grabbed a pen, and Germany didn't even waste time on paper, writing it directly onto his skin. "Do you understand it?" Italy nodded, and flew, running to the train station, buying a ticket to Hamburg, and getting on the train in record time. He just hoped that there was still time for him.
He made it to Hamburg, and then, he started going around, trying to remember each street. He reached a big building of apartments and looked at the key in his hand. The door opened, incredibly, and then he started walking, trying to reach the apartment number 19. The door made a little sound when unlocked, and then he went in. 
«It has to be Ludwig's private department.» He thought to himself. Some books were easy to recognize for him because he saw them in his library. A jacket was on the sofa, he recognized it as Gilbert's. And there was a bed for a dog on the floor. 
He walked to the bedroom, and entered, finding him sleeping peacefully. 
«He's here...» He thought, slowly getting closer to him. He sat down on the bed, and at that moment, he woke up.
"What the fuck, Italy?" He almost screamed, going back. "What are you doing here? Get out!" Now he was screaming. 
"No!" Italy responded, but Gilbert didn't listen. He grabbed his arm, dragging him to the door, without paying attention to anything he would say. And when they were almost out, he stopped for a second. 
"What did you said?" 
"I'm sorry," Italy whispered, squirming in his place. "Prussia, my hand hurts..." And he left him to go. He dragged some tears left In his eyes, saying that again. "I'm sorry. I didn't know, I didn't understand at that moment. Please, forgive me." And his face was suddenly red, his eyes shiny again. 
"It's not fair, I try to get out, and you drag me back, you probably don't even mean what I think you're meaning. And I thought West was bad when it came to feelings." Italy grabbed his hand, pressing it. 
"I like you too." He said, feeling Prussia's hand tremble. "I like you. Not like a friend. Not like a best friend. I like you a lot. I just thought you weren't meaning it like that, or I was just a little tipsy and I wasn't thinking, but I'm sorry. For making you cry and for hurting you." And when he looked at his face, he was crying. "I'm sorry..." He whispered one last time, slowly touching his nose, and kissing him. 
It was something slow. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring him. He was suddenly so weak, so small. For a second he was a child again.
His hands just hung at his sides at the beginning, but then he slid them, right to his shoulders. They separated, looking at each other for a second. Then, Gilbert spoke. 
"I like you, Feliciano." 
"Me too, Prussia." Italy smiled. 
"Call me by my name. Please." But Italy didn't, because, of course, he had to kiss him again.
13 notes · View notes
ifritini · 5 years
Text
So the prompt was from a conversation that basically went “wait video games are real in FFXV that means I can play my favourite games haha nice” which devolved “haha the lads reacting to you falling for vidy game characters” and going with it. Basically I took a shitpost prompt and ran with it. 
Noctis Lucis Caelum
He is OFFENDED the moment you either say it casually or let it slip. After all he's the one who suggested playing the game together to spend time together, only for you to proclaim your love for one of the characters. To think you'd fall for someone that's not him and admit to it just like that? Preposterous. 
In his mind he knows it's all fictional and you truly love him. His heart however? It knows a thing or two about jealousy from even one offhand comment about your new fave video game spouse. There are of course doubts here and there over just how much you truly love him but he tries to ignore them. Success varies depending on his current peace of mind. As best as he tries to keep this jealousy up under wraps, it's hard for Noctis to not subconsciously pout over it. 
He knows you love him more than that person on the television screen but sometimes knowing for himself isn't enough and you telling him that your love for him is far greater if not entirely incomparable to that of a fictional character. He knows it's petty and childish, but he will be smug about it. Perhaps even a "Take that!" directed at them. 
Takes up to teasing you over it. "Oh look, there's your Prince not as charming as me." whenever they appear on screen. No, the pillow to the face won't shut him up no matter how many times you throw it at him. 
Prompto Argentum
He is distraught. Shaken. His own chocobae betraying him like this, in his own home no less. He is quickly reduced into a mess faster than you can add onto your passing comment; "Man I think I'm falling for this character.". He believes his entire love life career has ended then and there. Prompto has been trying to play the game of love and he just got a fatality. 
He's known jealousy towards characters before, wishing he was as cool or as smart as them in the past but now he's found a new type: your affection for them. He puffs out his chest and attempts to be ten times cooler ten times braver and ten times more badass than his newfound rival and it's hard for him to be subtle about it. 
Prompto does need to be told that it's only a passing fictional crush and your love for him outshines the crush for this character, and always will. Sure they're neat but he's the whole cake with a cherry on top.
Apologises weeks later for his crisis because he progressed further in the game and fell in love with a separate character and understands precisely how you feel. You two bond over your fictional crushes and holding their hands while lounging on Prompto's couch holding each other's hands. 
Gladiolus Amicitia
He is indifferent. Partially indifferent. The other part is mildly offended he now has competition he can't square up with face to face. Can this character hold you in their arms? Give you kisses? Take you on long hikes? No? Then what's the point of loving them when he's right there ready to do all that and more. 
He can't say much though. He plays a ton of fighting games (and mostly got good at them to wipe the floor with Noctis whenever they played against each other) and Astrals know how many times he's felt a little swoon over either lady or man who could snap his spine in half with no effort. Not to count the same crushes with the same standards from the plethora of books he's read. To protest your crush would make him a hypocrite and Gladiolus most certainly isn't one. 
Not to say he doesn't slip in "Bet they can't love you as much as I do." and bringing you closer without a warning and smothering you with all the love only he can give. Nope, not jealousy. Not one bit. "You realise I love you more right?" you ask and he just beams like he heard it for the first time again. 
Much like Noctis he will relentlessly tease you over this. No you can't shut him up. No he won't stop. No shoving a pillow in his face won't work like with Noctis and he'll dodge it. But Astrals forbid you find out about his own pile of fictional crushes because it works wonders as a counterattack. 
Ignis Scientia 
Mostly confused over literal pixels managing to get your affection. Not that he blames you considering his schedule offers little free time but he can't help but find himself… Thinking. The day he admits this "thinking" is his cover up for sulking is the day he will die. A small, horrible little thought wonders if you're finally falling out of love with him. Again, he won't blame you due to his work. 
As silly as it is Ignis admits he feels jealousy. To himself only of course. He would rather die than let anyone else know that some fictional person has his heart in a twist over you. Him being so in control over his emotions is his triumph, but after it's been eating away at him after a while it becomes his downfall. 
"Did you really think I'd legitimately choose anyone over you?" comes your response after he finally decides to open up what's causing his most recent fowl mood. He knows it's silly. He assumes you know he knows it's silly. Yet hearing those words has him beaming. Hiding the self assured smug smile becomes harder with each passing second. 
Won't tease you as bad as Noctis and Gladio, but does make a passing comment every now and then. Though instead of teasing you over your crush, it's more in the ilk of "A shame they're not there to hold you like I am." 
Lunafreya Nox Fleuret 
She is FLOORED. What do you mean you love them? And what is she? A worm to you? She will be pouting about this and she will be miffed you can't take her seriously when she looks cute doing anything, including pouting. A shame she is very much so guilty of the same thing. You distinctly remember her talking about some muscle bound sword wielding girl in a television show a day before and how dreamy she was, and a week before about some ditzy male character in a book she found cute. She won't win this. 
Jealous? Absolutely. Does she try to hide it? Yes and the keyword is try. You easily tell what's up when she's frowning at the television and that character appears. She'll have her few attempts at denying anything but finally caves in and admits that she does in fact envy your feelings for a bunch of pixels no matter how small the affection. 
Knows she shouldn't need reassuring that you love her most but that doesn't stop her from revelling it when you confess your undying love. You can tell by the slight puffing up of her chest that she feels a GREAT sense of victory over this. 
It's just back and forth teasing and both your fictional crushes turn into a battlefield. It's all a game who can get the other flustered worse and sadly there are no winners when you both end up a mess. It's all good, and the scores are always settled by cuddles right after the battle is fought. 
Ravus Nox Fleuret 
Frankly he is offended. Granted you cannot tell by his disgruntled look that seems to be ever prevalent no matter his current internal turmoil. He is right there in the flesh and you're fawning over pixels? He just doesn't get it and refuses to. Immediately takes the leap to conclusions and assumes you truly don't love this mess of a man anymore. Laments over his continuous loss and begins coming to terms with his fate of being unloved. 
Tries not to be passive aggressive over it but it turns out it’s something easier said than done. Somehow he manages to perfectly convey it without any words - just glaring an impressive amount of daggers at the television screen. Hasn’t felt this jealous since that time before he could even muster up the courage to confess to you and he found out some random Niflheim soldier was chatting you up. At least then his competition was tangible. How was he to prove himself over some funky colours on the screen? 
The cat’s finally out of the bag and your suspicions are confirmed when he makes his first ever direct remark: “What’s so great about them anyways.”. His tone absolutely takes you aback; he sounds like a sibling who received a second less worth of attention from a parent. Ravus has to get affirmation that you do in fact love him a whole lot more. Ravus will revel in this little fun fact - or would smug be a better word? 
Cannot tease you without feeling jealousy creeping up and he absolutely hates himself for it. And so instead you get little offhand comments such as “Let them best me in a duel and we will see who wins your hand in marriage.” No varying levels of exasperation in your sigh will deter him, he will refuse to relent. 
Ardyn Lucis Caelum
For the most part he is confused. Didn’t really think someone could catch a bad case of the feelings for a fictional character but sometimes it’s best some questions go unanswered. Jealousy? In my Ardyn? It’s… less likely than you think. He knows for a FACT whoever this person is on the screen cannot even begin to compare to what he has. Perhaps their one redeeming factor is not being a walking talking daemon parade and being able to not sting in sunlight but that’s not enough to outshine this package. 
Doesn’t stop him from making a big show out of it all. He sees the chance to dramatically drape himself over your lap, lamenting how his one love has been snatched away by this stranger. The antics cannot and will not end. 
Doesn’t really need confirmation that you do in fact love him more, but appreciates it when you say it nonetheless. That’s simply proving him right and the only thing he loves more than being right is you. The second bonus is more smugness to throw around. “Oh I pity that poor soul, never knowing what true love feels like. Unlike me, of course.”. 
And a pity for you, because he’s found a new weaponised way to tease you with. A whole ten miles farther than Noctis or Gladio could ever wish for, you’d swear he’s writing you some sort of self insert fanfiction on the spot. The pros? He seems to be putting quite a lot of effort into it. The cons? He’s doing it specifically just to fluster you, alongside the things he decides to come up with to achieve that goal. 
Aranea Highwind 
Her confidence has not wavered since she found out. Or rather, it hasn’t wavered that much. Psh, of course you still love her. Right?  Right? Good thing that inner turmoil is kept under wraps. She’d much rather an Astral strike her down where she stands rather than have to admit she has beef with a fictional character you just so happened to take a liking to. 
Gets all in a little jealous twist wondering exactly what she’s missing. What does that pixelated rando have that she doesn’t? A physical body for one and that leaves her ever so slightly questioning her lover capabilities. Has she failed? Is this how it ends? You somehow ride off into the sunset with this character somehow materialised? What a life to live and this shall be her legacy. 
Her act gets thrown off and while normally concerning, this time you’re grateful so you can pinpoint just what’s on her mind. She may huff all she wants but there’s not much one can do caught red handed. Logically she knows she doesn’t need that affirmation but emotionally? By the Astrals does she wanna hear it. “You do realise… I love you more right…?” Damn right you do. Her confidence has reached astronomical new levels. 
There is no grandiose teasing but there is a few smug comments. Her goto is looking at the screen and tutting; “A shame they’ll never be me, huh babe?”. Absolutely takes is as a competition and knows she can win every battle by simply stating that she can do it ten times better, and will do it now given the chance. 
260 notes · View notes