#If I go for too long without writing essays that only 4 people will care about I WILL die

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

short taylor swift playlists for each tig character - avery

i'll make playlists for other characters too cause i found this really fun. here are some songs that really remind me of avery (there are others so i might add some later). some are her and jamie songs and some are just her. i felt like doing some short explanations (that might not make sense bc it's midnight for me) so here they are :)

#1: who's afraid of little old me? when i first heard this song, i immediately thought of her. it would take ages for me to explain it all (which i will do in another post), but, in the song, taylor mocks her haters, and tells them that she is what the world (her old record label, haters) made her and that, because of this, they shouldn't be scared of 'little old her'. people tend to downsize her and her struggles, and this song addresses that. this all just screamed avery to me. the media was so horrible to avery when she first inherited the money and underestimated her. the media judges her for being what they want her to be (if that makes sense. if avery were different, haters would still hate her)

#2: the smallest man who ever lived: now this song is about an ex partner, but if we remove all of the more romantic aspects of this song (so if we take the song's concept), i can't help but think of avery and her father/tobias/sheffield grayson. her father was never there for her and treated her like crap. tobias put her in a position where she was most likely going to die and used her. sheffield did horrible things to her too. i imagine this song being her confronting them (sort of).

#3: i hate it here for this song, there isn't necessarily something that screams avery to me, but it is a song about escapism which i feel is something avery did a lot growing up the way she did to get away from her problems, and the struggles that came with poverty. i think her method of escapism was games.

#4: you're on your own, kid: avery, before inheriting the money and meeting the brothers, had always been alone. her only friend was older than her and moved away, her sister wasn't very present in her life, and her mom died when she was 15. i think the rest is self-explanatory.

#5: long story short: this song fits her a bit more loosely, but the concept really resonates with avery (i think). it's a song about how, despite taylor being villainized and hated on by the media (during the kanye situation), she was still able to survive and get through it. with the amount of judgement and hate avery got after she inherited the money, i think this song suits her.

#6: the last great american dynasty: this song is about a woman who inherits her late husband's holiday house and the judgment she received because of it. people accused her of murder, of being mad, etc. this is literally avery's song bc people also accused her of shady things.

#7: the man: i think this is sort of self-explanatory. the song is about sexism and how she would be treated differently if she was a man.

#8: dress: an averyjameson song because why not. very sensual, sultry, and just very averyjameson. i always think of them when i listen to the song.

#9: call it what you want: very cute love song that i think suits aj perfectly. it's about not caring what the media has to say about your relationship bc all that matters is that the two of you know the truth.

#10: wonderland: lyrics scream averyjameson. this song suits them almost perfectly. i will be making a full analysis of this song to them someday. i really don't know how to explain this without writing a 347204 page essay so just listen to the song (let's just ignore that this song is about a toxic relationship though...)

#11: i knew you were trouble: avery when she first met jameson. one of taylor's most popular songs. i think this is self-explanatory.

#12: the lucky one: a song about the negative impact the media can have on someone. it's about this girl who had it all, but over time, got tired of the hate and escaped to a life of solitude. i think this somewhat applies to avery. although i don't think she'd disappear, i do think she'd someday start laying low.

#13: nothing new (ft: phoebe bridgers): i can never listen to this song without thinking about avery. it's a song about fearing the future and what will become of you. someday, you'll become old news and people will cast you aside. i think this fits (future or even present) avery. we know she has some self-worth issues, so i don't think it would be far fetched to say that she might think of herself as some sort of toy that will someday be forgotten by not only the media (although i don't think she'd mind), but also by jameson, and his brothers.

#14: sparks fly: full analysis here. i already made a longer analysis, but it's basically a song about falling for someone you know might be dangerous but not being able to stay away. to me this is the aj song.

#15: never grow up: i think the title is self-explanatory. i feel like avery would look back at her younger self wishing she'd never grown up because then she'd still have her mom. kind of a sad way to end this playlist, but i just went in order of album releases and tracklist numbers so..

hope you liked it if you listened to it <3. i had a lot of fun making this.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #grayson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #maxine liu

[some-murmurings]

i'm happy that video essays are a popular format on youtube now. i've loved the genre for years and, with care, it's a reliable source of accessible education.

that said, the popularity of video essays on youtube makes me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears. it is so easy to immediately tell when an author has no actual investment in the genre and sees it merely as a vehicle for #Content™️©️®️

There are three basic qualities I see suffering the most for this

1. Length

I see so many of these newer channels pumping out 8 hour pieces that are closer to exhaustive book reports then they are tight, well written examinations of something and, while I LOVE the diversity inherent to the video essay format, this is a terrible way to explore a topic. It's boring, lame, and extremely profitable.

Quinton Reviews is a good example; I like his work occasionally, his recent thing on Dan Schneider was genuinely pretty good. It did still suffer from the resulting pacing sickness from overloading on information and underloading on composition & organization. Wendigoon is an even better example. Most "iceberg" style vids also are (not u jan misali. never u.)

Also, there's no defined rule for the length of a video essay. They can be 5 minutes long or 5 hours, flash fiction or a full-bodied thesis. Shots of tequila or a whole bottle of wine can both get you drunk.

2. Pacing

Obviously related to length but this is another problem; video essayists have always struggled with this and it got worse recently anyways.

A lot of that "information overload" is to blame. It's important that, when researching, YOU come to a strong, nuanced understanding of a topic through disparate sources. It is, by nature of the format and genre, an extremely bad idea to try and make your audience learn the information the same way.

We don't need a thousand sources spread across several dozen sentences, we want the 3-4 (max) best sources on a given subtopic concisely synthesized into a coherent idea.

Use music, jokes and relevant graphics to make this information as engaging and interpretable as possible without sacrificing accuracy. It's okay to abridge and note that you were, in fact, abridging. We don't need to know every detail about every single thing loosely related to the topic.

Dan Olson from "Folding Ideas" is a good example of this. His script writing and camera work does an extremely good job of creating effective flow with an appropriate amount of detail & nuance. So, pacing, basically.

3. Topic

U can tell some of these jamokes don't give a fuck or shit about the thing they're discussing. Worse still when it's some inane internet drama they're recounting like its "news."

To be clear: the best video essays are OFTEN on topics you have no previous interest in. Roblox_oof.wav by HBomberguy is an easy example. This shit is a complete mess thematically but, because the author engages deeply and effectively with the topic, it literally doesn't matter. It's an insanely good video you should spend all 2 & 1/2 hours in rn. Go. Watch it.

Nor is internet drama a bad topic to cover. You're allowed, encouraged really, to discuss the weird bullshit people do to each other but like... this is closer to a soap opera than it is a national news headline. Looking at you, "Turkey Tom" or whatever the fuck your name is.

There's something to be said, too, for how quick people are to make an essay about a still moving situation. I know the algorithm is an insatiable maw of content hunger but, counterpoint, ONLY MAKE A VIDEO WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED. If there's reasonable suspicion stuff isn't done, SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's okay if you misjudge a timeline here or there, you're allowed to admit fault and correct yourself, but, like, cmon.

Also something to be said about how quick so many essayists have ALWAYS been to talk about someone else's business without permission, particularly intimate partner violence.

4. Style/Presentation

Video essays are an extremely novel format, particularly for education, so there's a genuine debt of easy-to-adopt styles. And, because of the recent growth, there are a lot of new people entering the space with very little experience in it.

That said, the next time I hear that fucking "influencer cadence" I'm gonna EXPLODE. You know the one, they slow down towards the end of a sentence to lend "gravitas" and overarticulate every. single. word. to, idk, build credibility?

It's shallow and obnoxious and I hate it. Nothing makes me skip a video faster than a boring intro & a predictable cadence. Be honest about the way you speak. If you struggle to create rhythm & flow with your voice, use music! Seriously, music sampling is a super valid method, most indie artists would be JAZZED to have their stuff in parts of their video. A lot of orchestral stuff is in the public domain, especially a lot of famous "classical" works. Put Beethoven's 5th in your video about potato farming in russia, God might not be real and if she is she'd ALSO think it's funny.

Another problem: predictable cuts & generally uninspired editing. I know editing is a pain in the ass but, like, it IS still a creative process. You do have space to do interesting stuff here and, if you can't focus for that long, literally just make a shorter video.

It's okay if 95% of your transitions are purely functional, the trick is to make those 5% REALLY silly to keep your audience on their toes.

5. Tone

You don't need to be "an authority" on a topic to make a good essay about it. It helps but, as long as you're clear & honest about the limits of your understanding and you've done your due diligence, you almost certainly will be fine to talk about anything you want.

If you want to build credibility quickly, consider starting with disambiguation instead of dry recitation. Dates matter less to me than actually understanding a topic better. Even better if you come across like another autistic person infodumping about whales or w/e.

I'd keep going but my phone's gonna die. U get the gist. Lots of format problems that algorithm-brain is exacerbating.

#youtube #video essay #hbomberguy #still hate tagging posts

[hunxi-after-hours]

hey, anon from the anti-authoritarian wuxia ask a while back, took a looksee through Stephen Teo's The Wuxia Tradition and the essays about danmei you mentioned in your response, which was really great and insightful! i think what's so interesting to me about the modern wuxia tradition as we understand it now is that its purpose from the very beginning was to be nationalistic propaganda, which obviously carries into contemporary wuxia adaptations and new works today. (1/7)

(long ask, long response! conversation begun here; everything else under the cut)

but what makes the genre compelling to me is that wuxia offers so many glimpses into these potentially transformative visions of a radical future- wuxia presents a vision of a society in which communities have the autonomy to express themselves, support each other, and create their world through creative and collective activity. and all of this is facilitated by the the nebulous jianghu setting, which is this alternative space more or less free from the grip of the imperial state, (2/7)

which it unintentionally ends up being just by virtue of existing far from the imperial core. and obviously class hierarchies imposed by wealth and power still exist within the jianghu, but like, that autonomous nature of the jianghu is something I'd be curious to see be developed and pushed further. what would it look like within a wuxia narrative to explore the idea of an intentionally and explicitly anti-imperial, stateless, classless jianghu, and what would it take to get there? (3/7)

that vision of an alternate autonomous society is built upon these very rigid worldviews that don't challenge the audience (i.e. nationalism, pale-skinned conventional beauty standards, xenophobia, the idea of disability as something to be overcome, etc) that were baked into the inception of the genre, and which undermine said radical potential. and i guess that's my gripe with danmei too. (4/7)

i feel similarly about people who treat the consumption of danmei as an inherently progressive political act as I do to the way I feel about neoliberalism: it presents a facade of progressivism without actually meaningfully existing in opposition to oppressive structures. and, like you mentioned, both danmei and wuxia have yet to hit that moment of reckoning. i'm aware the direction these things go are massively shaped by geo-sociopolitical forces outside of the creators' control, etc. (5/7)

but so many people benefit from access to the imperial core in ways they aren't or don't care to be aware of. and to me, that is what makes art so important - it has the potential to not only expose the monstrous ways in which a society derives its power, it also has the hopeful ability to imagine transformative, non-oppressive futures. (6/7)

you're right that the cultural shift that would spark a post-colonial reckoning in Chinese literature and art needs to be spearheaded by Chinese creatives themselves. as an invested bystander, I'm curious to see where this goes. sorry this was so long, but thank you for your time! (7/7)

hello again anon!! glad you enjoyed looking through Teo and found his writing insightful! I think in many ways the conversations we’re trying to have about danmei, wuxia, internet literature, and some nebulous postcolonial reckoning are somewhat ahead of the curve, which is why we’re here being like “I want to read something like this!” only to find that said work hasn’t necessarily been created yet (again, if anyone’s got any leads, I’m all ears)

I do also think it’s worthwhile to note that a significant factor in why danmei and/or internet literature may not be as daring and subversive as we wish it were is the simple, starkly pragmatic fact that these works need to sell. they need to be attractive and fun, gripping and engrossing, to even make it in the cutthroat environment of the various literature cities. the competition is vicious and the readership unforgiving; last year saw at least one WeChat article about the intense pressure of being a webnovelist, and how the soul-crushing pressure of trying to break into the rankings has pushed authors towards suicide. with the popularization of the genre comes increased competition, and with increased competition comes a streamlining of new works towards established precedents of success (the proliferation of wuxia/xianxia/xuanhuan, particular distinctive CP dynamics, etc). 内卷 is here in the danmei genre as well, which makes it difficult to innovate or experiment, particularly if you’re not already an established author

it’s the Hollywood argument for keeping people of color out of leading roles; writing a text that tackles certain social issues (particularly ones that challenge current mores of Chinese society) is a risk, and quite frankly, most authors don’t have the time or the luxury to gamble. this is not to say that current authors aren’t leveraging their established readership and fanbase to write away from popular taste (priest’s 《桥头楼上》 comes to mind, which is a formal departure from her previous works and a trenchant examination of certain social issues), but that the current environment in which creative works are produced aren’t quite favorable to that kind of exploration and subversion — yet

another thing to keep in mind is the role that danmei (and other web literature) plays in the lives of its readers; yes, art has such powerful potential to call upon society to reflect on the injustices and cruelties built into it, but also art — and danmei in particular — is a powerful purveyor of escapism. many Chinese readers and consumers of danmei and related products/adaptations find a haven in these texts, and people seeking comfort are not necessarily prepared for critically examining social injustices in their escapism. again, I’m not trying to say that there is no place for subversion and exploration in danmei literature, but rather highlight the way reader preferences and demands might discourage writers from going too far afield

meanwhile, if I may be presumptuous enough to throw more reading in the air, here are some texts that this conversation is bringing to mind:

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang (forthcoming): a genderspun reception of Shi Nai’an’s 《水浒传》, often considered to be the forerunner of the wuxia genre. Guaranteed to get in the weeds and messy about gender, power, imperial centers of power, marginalized marshlands of subversiveness just by the literal concept of its writing

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: the closest work I know of to a fiercely diasporic genderqueered cdrama, in which Han centrism is examined and found wanting

《无污染，无公害》 by priest: priest is not necessarily the author I would suggest when it comes to, ah, postcolonial thought, but I just finished reading 《无污染，无公害》 last month and was struck by its profoundly cynical deconstruction of the wuxia genre. priest brings wuxia into the modern day and examines the many ways in which the 快意恩仇 fantasy of jianghu morality and subversiveness clashes with contemporary ethics and laws. beyond that, I think reading an author’s non-danmei works is profoundly enlightening critical and theoretical exercise that definitely re-contextualizes assumptions made about the danmei genre and its writers

“Zhang Yimou’s Hero: Reclaiming the Martial Arts Film for ‘All Under Heaven’” by Feng Lan: this was the first paper I ran into that really got into the weeds of the controversial “天下” at the end of the film, and also introduced me to the recent history and discussions of “tianxiaism,” which is particularly interesting when it comes to discussions about nationalism, imperialism, and postcolonialism in contemporary China in general and the wuxia genre in particular

“Homosexualizing Boys Love in China: Reflexivity, Genre Transformation, and Cultural Interaction” by Xi Tian: I know I’ve gushed about this paper elsewhere, but this is only paper I’ve found so far that examines how the danmei genre has shifted and changed over the past few decades in response to reader feedback, shifting societal opinions, and self-reflection, and it’s fascinating

whew, okay, this is long enough! one last thing, from one invested bystander to another: don’t let anything stop you from creating the content you wish to see in the world <3

#心怀杂念 字数无量 #further abuse of the one thinky tag I have #hunxi thinks about danmei and gender

[bondew]

I got bored- I love my freckled, fluffy red head! (Oh Cade, u and ur neatly brushed hair are loved too)

Two Bathroom Stalls.

Cadence Lane.

The piercing sound of my alarm rings in my ear the next morning. It’s around 6am and I’ve only slept for 4 hours. I stumble to the mirror and I flip it back to face me. As the sun peeks from under the curtains I brush my hair so it doesn’t reflect my mind. My room is completely clean, well excluding my desk drawers. I shove on a tight black turtle neck and white dress pants. I don’t change my black stud earrings, I don’t really have any other pairs anyway. I swing my bag onto one shoulder and slide on my loafers as I step out.

Tossing a mint into my mouth a sudden hoard of people pile into the hallway. They sound like squawking vultures as they push past me. I run my hand through my hair and make my way downstairs. My first class is at 8, I was meant to finish my project last night but because of the situation I have to do it this morning. I skip breakfast and end up in the library. Without saying a word I sit down and open up my laptop. Skimming through the essay I quickly edit it, I’m confident that I won’t miss any mistakes. There is hardly ever any, I am the top of the class for a reason.

I put my earbuds in and open up my notebook. My peace doesn’t last long, the stampede of boys stride into library. I notice one of them sneak away from the group as they wander around and talk to girls. He heads to the non-fiction section and grabs a thick, hard covered book about bugs. My computer is still open so when he decides to ignore all the other free tables and sit in front of me he is partly blocked out. I can see his freckled forehead and fluffy orange hair over the top of my screen but this decreases as he slumps down and starts to read. Shaking my head back to reality I tap on my page with a pen and start to write. My playlist is open on my screen and every time a song changes I glance up.

I’ve basically fallen asleep but when a book slams closed I suddenly jolt up.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you! U-uh I have to get to class!” The orange-haired boy says as he runs out of the room. Glancing at my watch I gather my stuff and sprint out just behind him. I arrive in the lecture room just before the clock hits 8, I’m panting and all eyes are on me. Fixing my hair I stand up straight and rush to a seat before anyone says anything.

Dazz Shawn.

It was probably a mistake choosing to study literature and theatre. I basically have no free time. I’m only a couple minutes late and luckily the director doesn’t seem to care. Dropping a heavy book about bugs and my tote bag on the floor I head backstage where I’m warmly welcomed.

We do a lot of theory in theatre obviously, I mean it is still a university class but today we have prac, the best part. For some weird reason the teacher randomly decided this year was the year we were going to do a performance! I mean I’m not unhappy, I love plays! But it was kinda out of the blue. I landed the male lead somehow so.. um yeah. I can’t really afford to be late to class anymore. The stage has been prepped with half-painted sets and random boxes since somebody lost the proper ones.

I washed my hair this morning so it’s all kinda fluffy and sticking out weirdly, nobody has really noticed. Not like I expect them to anyway! Like it’s just washing my hair.. haha. Um.. thankfully all my friends are studying things like, physics, sports science and mathematics so I don’t have to embarrass myself in-front of them when I’m horribly acting.

“Oh, by the way Dazz! You obviously know that we are doing Romeo and Juliet but just confirming you’re all good for the kiss?” My teacher interrupts my train of thought while I’m sitting on the edge of the stage. My legs instantly stop swinging and I go bright red.

“Yeahhh.. wait who’s Juliet again..” I struggle out.

“Right!” He flips his clipboard, “Hmm.. oh right of course! It’s Olivia Irwin!” He looks at me and smiles innocently.

“Yep! Ok all good!” I say quickly. Like obviously I knew I was going to have to kiss someone like it’s Romeo and Juliet for gods sake! But Olivia?! She’s like the prettiest, most talented person ever! Well atleast in this school!

Now don’t get the wrong idea I definitely don’t have a crush on her! Like I don’t really have a type but I just can’t date or crush on someone who has seen me trip into like three paint buckets!

#lgbtq #mental health #lgbtq community #young writer #writing #begging u to read my writing

[tgammsideblog]

Tgamm ¨The Curse¨ episode analysis (S1 E1 A)

Alright, for starters i would like to say that i’m thinking about starting a little project that involves me writing reviews/ analysis of episodes in Season 1 while the series is on haitus. I may post twice of these per week ( 4 segments per week) if people like the idea.

I’m not planning in making these very in *depth* analyses. See it more as me writing some general observations and giving my opinions about an episode. I have always prefered to keep things simple and to not go that hard into details. Expect these to be quick reviews rather than very long essays. Having that said, let’s start with the analysis of ¨The Curse¨

One the first things that always catches my eye watching this episode is just how good the intro to the Ghost World is. In the first scene we already get this feeling of sadness and desperation coming off of the Flow of Failed Phantoms. The rock where the Ghost Council is looks intimidating. It gives the impression we are in cold fantastical world different from ours.

Another thing that the intro scene helps setting up is how cruel and authoritarian the Ghost Council is: In the first minute we see them throwing a ghost who wasn’t capable of keeping her town miserable because of things that were too out of her control. The Ghost Council doesn’t care about this and sends her quickly to the Flow without any doubts. With so little the series is already telling us a lot of the Ghost World social system, how it operates and that the ghosts have a job to keep humans miserable. That’s a great way to get you audience attention quickly.

What it follows is the introduction to Scratch’s character: The first he is doing when he appears on screen is eating garbage. Then he gets into the Ghost Council’s faces, not caring about social manners at all. That scene alone is communicating a lot about Scratch’s character, from his habits to the way he usually interacts with other people. When the Ghost Council is about to go the Ghost Council club, Scratch asks them if he can go with them. He is quickly rejected, being made fun of and abruptally send off back to the Earth realm. For a moment Scratch is seen with a sad expression, only for him to cover that up by saying ¨he doesn’t need anyone¨ and ¨he is better off by himself¨. Here we see Scratch’s character main conflict clear. His constant loneliness and treatment he receives in the Ghost World by his superiors. His denial about his current situation, repeating to himself again and again that he is better alone to cover his own pain of not having anyone else.

As for the McGees, i like how each one is introduced and i can easily get a quick grasp of their dynamic like Darryl being the trouble maker and Molly looking to make Brighton a better place (¨I see limitess potential). With some lines it’s enough to undestand more or less how they work as a family. There is a brief mention of the family economic status when they see the state of their new home, which is nice.

After arriving our main protagonists finally meet for first time. For the very first moment they interact with each other, the writers take full advantage of their personalities to make hilarious interactions between them. It does a good job at  settling their whole relationship that gets more depth in later episodes. If there is one issue i have that affects this episode’s quality is how much it tries to explore in only 11 minutes of screen time. Instead of letting the events flow naturally, it feels like the story is jumping from scene to scene with no breather in between. For example: Molly interacts with Scratch two or three times before he decides to put the curse on her, which makes feel like the narrative is pushing the characters to move instead of the other way around. It’s not that this aspect alone completely ruins the episode. There are other things like the jokes and the characters interactions that still make it fun to watch. However, i would argue that it may not fully get the attention of someone who is starting to watch the show.

Moving on, i found the song ¨Together Forever¨ sweet. It’s a cute and funny sequence with some dark humor lyrics (Like a parasitic worm I live your heart!) which is something you wouldn’t normally expect from a Disney animated show. Scratch attemps at trying to scare off Molly are funny with Molly barely reacting to them.

When Scratch goes to the Ghost World to ask to two members from the Ghost Council about the curse (while half lying about it). There is a short explanation that shows that Scratch has to make Molly or her family leave the house so he is able to break the curse that bounds him to Molly. The main issue is that the house is the McGees’ ¨forever home¨. Molly explains to Scratch that they have been moving multiple times around the country, something that lead to Molly having to leave many friends behind. This gives a reason to why she acts to happy about Scratch being her ¨forever friend¨ because she never had proper long lasting friendships. She never stayed in one place growing up. It’s worth of bringing up that Scratch seems to sympathize with Molly for a moment when she mentions having lost friends in the past. It shows that he wasn’t completely bad even when he didn’t like Molly at the start.

In last scene of episode Molly is talking to Grandma Nin by using videocall. Nin suggests her to make a Sal Phra Phum, a little house for ghosts that comes from Thai culture (Molly is part thai from her mother’s side). I think it’s cool that they used Molly’s culture to find a solution to Scratch’s problem. It’s a nice touch. What’s more, it is interesting how Scratch calms down once Nin makes this suggestion, showing that his issue was probably not having his own space. Molly doesn’t hug him as much as she does in this episode, meaning that she got the idea that Scratch doesn’t like to be given too much attention.

In all, i think ¨The Curse¨ is an okay episode to start the series. There are some weird things about the characterization and pacing that may come from being one of the first episodes. Usually animated shows first episodes aren’t the best quality and they can be a hit or miss. In spite of this, If someone is trying to introduce the show to a friend. i would suggest them to make them watch the segment that follows ¨First Day Frights¨ since the writing and the pacing is better in that one in comparison.

#The Ghost And Molly McGee #tgamm #tgamm the curse #Tgamm episode analysis

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

OFMD Favs Tag Game

I was tagged by- @likethehotsauce Thank you so much! Always love to rant.

(I'm probably not doing this right, cause I'm just using this a an excuse to look back on the parts of the show itself that I love, but I needed to write an essay today. And it's been months since I went back to my Stede/Ed roots. Before Izzy latched himself onto my brain. So here's some love!)

favorite Ed gif:

Look, I love ep7, especially on rewatches. Most rom-coms run into the trouble of not showing the audience our protagonists bond. They rarely get to relax around each other before the relationship really starts but that's what this episode is.

We've got Ed, who's starting to get comfortable/settled in around Stede. Stede having a fun little adventure, trying to make Ed thinks he's cool. Ed genuinely having a shitty day and finally getting that Stede cares about him. It's really fucking sweet. This gif just wraps that all up in a cute ball. The fit? Amazing. The lil hop? Adorable. Edward essentially telling everyone to shut up and just let Stede have his fun? Cute pre-boyfriend moment. He's a goofball, and this episode needs more love on here.

favorite Stede gif:

Yeah, yeah. Ed's here. But the scene is focusing on Stede and resolving an arc (my favorite thing), so it counts! Stede has issues feeling accepted. He has gone without a 'crew' for so long that he's unapologetically who he is. He already feels along, why the fuck would he care about dressing up and being a bit too 'feminine'? They already make fun of him for not being enough, he already feels along. Why wouldn't he try to be happy not giving a shit about what they think?

So, in ep 10, we see a Stede who feels accepted into a family. He gets to get up there with a silly little in-joke and have people put their trust in him. Are they doing this to get back at the Navy? Yeah. But Stede build himself a place where he feels like he can be accepted and welcomed. I don't always see Stede in the best light. Accountability is a huge thing for me, and S2 better include this guy fessing up for the hurt he's caused. But this scene always makes me smile when I think about it.

favorite Ed outfit:

:). I know what I'm about. I'm simple, and if you've been here a while, you already know. We get to see Edward proudly rocking Stede's lil handkerchief. The tummy is great, and so is seeing his tattoos. I always love a fingerless glove, and his jewelry is on point. Yes, I love Ed in soft fabrics. Especially the loose poet shirt moment in ep 4. But in my head, this is Ed being a frat guy and trying to seduce Stede. 'Usually the exposed skin and touching works :('. Cause this poor guy has had to seduce assholes like Jack, and isn't comfortable with opening up yet. Ed's also just having fun exposing Stede to 'pirate' things which is a favorite trope of mine.

favorite Stede outfit:

Unironically? All of them.

Next question.

OKAY. FINE. IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE-

Gender. Whole lotta gender right here. I'm a sucker for loose fabric and BOY.

Open Shirt? Yes. Hideously colored mustard robe that works because it's a part of the whole 'look'. Achieved. Rings? Amazing. Fluffy shirt that's a button-up? Yep, you could totally reveal more chest.

FLUFFY SLEVES!!!! AHHH. But seriously, most of his outfits are amazing. I chose like five different Gifs-before settling on this for the lace sleeves.

favorite Blackbonnet song:

Oh boy! Buckle up.

(I have 2 playlists with these 2 with around 40 total hours of music on Spotify from the 4 months post ep10 airing where I only read these two. So any answer I give is going to )

Stede POV specific('A Stede Soundtrack' on spotify)- Five Bells- CoCo and The Butterfields. Yes, I have better ones, but the general vibe is just happy, light, and in love. Excited for the future. (If this song is actually about something else, keep me innocent). With instrumentals, and dancing, and fucking joy. I love this song. 2.) Being 'May It Last'- The Avett Brothers if Folk music isn't your thing. 3.) 'The Bitch is Back'-Elton John For bitchy Stede. The best flavor.

Edward POV specific ('Blackbeard's Breakup' on Spotify)- Desperately in love Ed? 'honey'-Coastal Club. yes, I am a pet name Edward truther. Also a song about being excited by life and by love. If it's Stede Hating, Kraken era? 'Money, Money, Money'-ABBA. Yes, I know Edward is now the breadwinner, but it's very Him.

Gentlebeard. Sad era- 'Last Request'- Paolo Nutini. Oh shit, I have a crush era- 'I think I love you'-Specifically the Tenacious D cover. It's Jack Black, how can you hate it? Desperately in love- 'An Old Fashioned Love Song'-Paul Williams. This song has been in my Spotify top 100 for years. I fucking love it.

favorite OFMD fic trope:

HAHA! You didn't specify the ship, so I get to bring up Izzy.

SteddyHands specific- Stede&Ed working together/competing for Izzy to choose them first. Especially if Ed&Stede already know that Izzy has a crush on them but Izzy doesn't. I don't read this ship too much anymore, but this always made me happy.

Izzy Specific-Post S1 Izzy hunting down Stede, hijinks ensuing. Izzy gets injured, and this starts his character jornery into a mentally healthier person. Him getting loved tbh. Aslo, Izzy getting described as short. He's really not that much shorter than most of the crew. I just love when it's brought up.

Long fic- Anything character based, post S2 'reunion'. Essentially skipping how they all resolved S1 and skips to the fun parts. Love Izzy learning/starting to care for the crew. If reading a fic kinda feels like going to therapy, you're doing it right. Huge shoutout to anyone who has tried to break down how Izzy's brain works for angst fic. Also, Ed and Stede being held accountable for some of their more shitty actions.

Short Fic- You know what, I'll say it. I like soulmate (and adjacent) AUs. Love me a Hanahaki, or similar curses. If there's a story reason two characters are dubiously forced to admit their feelings, I'm there. I love that 'what if they don't like me' rant even though its destined, I love the holding yourself back to keep another person happy shit. Yes, irl, that'd be fucked. But since it's a short fic, it doesn't need to worry about all that.

Trope Tropes- Buttons being a Disney princess around animals. Lucius living in the walls. Izzy swears every other sentence. Any media of the Revenge (music, stories) being super out of time period. Two characters are falling in love, but are the last people to realize it. Stede being a pirate parent.

Ed’s hair or Stede’s hair:

I agree with what likethehotsauce said. Both fit the character really well. I can't imagine Stede or Ed suddenly shaving their head. It's a part of who they are.

If this is about me wanting their hair? I'm choosing Ed's. I've had Stede length hair for the past 2 years, and miss braiding my hair. Also, his hair looks soft as shit. Good to run your fingers through, etc.

longest gap between rewatches:

July 2022-January 2023. I watched it like 13 times post ep 10 aired, then immediately jumped into fan content. I'm a huge 'character' person when consuming media, so I generally enjoy doing that vs rewatching the show itself again.

Lucius is Hiding in the Ship vs. Lucius is Dead and a Ghost:

No corpse= Not dead. Once Ed and Stede reunite I don't think Ed would be able to forgive himself if he actually killed him. Lucius was saved by someone on the ship and hidden away. I do think Lucius will be discovered before the captains reunite. As much as I love ghosts, our guy is safe. Fearing for his life, but safe.

favorite Revenge crew member: OG Revenge-Frenchie or Buttons. If y'all haven't written him in your fics, including Buttons. He's so much fun to make the 'Cassandra' of your work! Let him be ominous and all-knowing, it's a great time! Frenchie because I'm always up for a bard, and he's a character that has so much potential. From being a bard to an 'assassin in training' with Izzy & Jim. They're fun to throw in!

Again, many thanks to @likethehotsauce! I would like to tag — absolutely zero pressure!!! I know most of you are mostly into Izzy, and I love hearing harsh opinions about Ed&Stede or general thoughts on the show looking back, after a year. @ivegotnonameidea @dianetastesmetal @gydima @downinthehull @treesofgreen @ladyrenity

#tag game #OFMD favorites #our flag means death #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #see #Izzy isn't the only thing I like about this show. #ed x stede

[coffin-upalung]

Vent post, TW mental illness, hospitalization, being fucking poor, speculation of symptoms

So I have a problem with disorganized speech, right? I kind of noticed it a few months ago but now it's impossibly to ignore. Or I'll just stop talking when i thought i already made my point but i actually only said half a sentence? I don't have health care, so I can't figure out right now if it's a mental illness symptom or a physical illness symptom, both of which I have several diagnosed.

But I also developed a stutter? Which makes me think it's gotta be mental illness. But also I've had like a good 10 concussions in my life, 4 of them were in 2019, so maybe just got a bruised melon.

And I've found myself fencesitting between reality and delusion. And I've caught myself hallucinating. Birds, music, people taking muffled outside my window where I can't make out any of the words, bugs in my food and spiders in my shower.

And I want so fucking bad to just voluntarily admit myself. I'm not a DANGER to myself, but I just can't function. I can't hold down a job, I spiral and bounce between panic attacks to disassociation. I feel fractured, like multiple people are living my life, like half the day is a dream or I'm in the passenger seat of my life.

I've been on antipsychotics since I was like 13 or 14, but I haven't had healthcare in years. And I just want to take a month or two and admit myself to get everything fixed. And it sucks that for YEARS I was repeatedly 5150'd and got thrown in residential for 4 months as a kid against my will but now I actually want the help and I can't AFFORD IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Like I'm not suicidal in the slightest. My husband and I are happy and living a good life, we never fight and it genuinely feels like a sleepover with my best friend every night-- depression is near non-existant. But I just want to not be crazy anymore so I can take a shower without thinking I can talk to the ghosts in the walls!!!!!

I literally just want the hallucinations to stop and the delusions and the rabbit holing to stop. I want to be able to think straight and speak clearly. I want to stop having episodes where I'm laughing and crying and pulling my hair out. And it's for no reason. The trigger will be like "thought about that one embarrassing thing you said" and I just can't breathe and then I'm gone. Like it's someone else and I can't think and then like I'm in the shower and I've calmed down and im singing to music that's playing on my phone.

Like how am I supposed to tackle this in weekly therapy. It's gotten bad enough I'm BEGGING to go back on meds.

Do you know how long this fucking took me to write? I feel so small and incapable of simple tasks like writing a paragraph-- things I used to do for fun with fanfiction and random essays on topics I'll never post. But I keep misspelling and starting with one sentence and writing the ending of another. I kept misspelling symptoms as mysomptms and that's the clearest example of how jumbled things get. Like everything is there it's just a mess. It's not like a typo, it's genuinely my brain tells me every letter at once and I can't remember what comes first. I'll tell a story about my day and I'll tell the middle then the first then the last, or in reverse and I know it's mixed up but I can't remember what came first. And my grammar is so absolutely fucked. Like I almost majored in English and my essays were the ONLY reason I got into some colleges because I absolutely bombed my SATs because I had just gotten out of the hospital. Not my point, but demonstrates that I used to have such a tight grasp of the English language and its mechanics and now for months it's felt like I'm struggling in a 3rd or 4th language, buffering and lagging like a 2006 Dell.

And im AWARE that none of this makes sense, I've got pinball brain and im trying to say too much with too few words but this is an exercise to at least push through and get as much as I can out. At least to document. I feel like I have to apologize for how hard it is to understand me. This feels like such a burden to everyone around me and that makes it harder to think and speak. I hate this and I just want to get better.

Idk just had to get this out, hopefully I'll be able tks how a doctor when I'm able to get help. This makes me feel so stupid. I can fucking write, I'm an articulate fucking human being. I've got so much going for me, why does my first language feel like I'm only conversational? I can't communicate, I've lost half my vocabulary and I used to pride myself on my intelligence. I was always the smart friend, the one who's good at everything and would write your papers and give advice and I was going to do great things. And now I'm just a college dropout lunatic housewife that needs help with everything.

And im not... sad? It's just anxiety and then a detachment of reality. And I've tried to write this more like I would say it, it feels like either my brain goes too fast for my mouth or fingers or that it's so slow I cant think there is no in-between.

#do not reblog #vent post #not all triggers tagged

[jasperunbound]

An analysis of Jasper's Act II costume design

Something I've noticed in discussions of Jasper's Act II appearance, is that people occasionally refer to him as looking like a jester. As a Jasper fan who studies character design, and as someone who almost went to clown college specifically because I wanted to study that style of costume design... it vexes me that people mistake Jasper's outfit for that of a jester’s. (Is it because the puffy sleeves..?) How people perceive things to appear is subjective, of course, but that's very far from what the design is meant to resemble.

Inspired by this misconception, I decided to write up a costume design analysis breaking down the most prominent fashion elements in Jasper's outfit, compare it to actual jester’s clothing, then explain where Jasper’s outfit really draws inspiration from, and how knowing what the outfit is meant to convey adds to the depth of his character.

Now, what does a jester actually look like? Here are a few well-known depictions of jesters:

There are a few common design elements one can gather:

Hat

Decorative rod (frequently with a face on top), instrument, or animal

Pom-poms/bells

Pointy shoes

Juggling, magic tricks, or music

Tights

As you can see, aside from the tight pants, Jasper's outfit has nothing in common with jester attire. If he was meant to resemble a jester, he would be dressed a little more... hm... like this:

...Hm, it’s almost like DQ already has actual jesters, with the pom-poms and everything!

So what is Jasper dressed like then? There are two answers. One of them is fairly obvious. The other answer is not as obvious a conclusion, but it’s just as significant. First, let’s look at the most prominent design elements of the outfit:

That large ornamental collar of his, and the black feathers that frame it. What is that collar, exactly? Well... it’s an Elizabethan standing collar. This type of collar, similar to the Medici collar, was considered the peak of fashion by wealthy British noblewomen of the Tudor era, and is most associated with Queen Elizabeth I.

Obviously Jasper is not dressed completely like a queen, because his outfit is more masculine in style below the waist. But the distinct queenly collar and expensive fabrics are important because they bring deeper implications, ones that are missable if interpreting the outfit without basic knowledge of medieval fashion (e.g. thinking that he’s dressed like a jester...).

With the Spectral Sentinel insignia on his belt, it’s very unlikely Jasper owned this outfit prior to the events of Act II. Since it’s known from the character books that he has an interest in fashion and has designed clothing before, he probably designed the outfit himself and commissioned someone to make it.

The outfit especially becomes meaningful when one remembers that Jasper comes from a family of fallen nobility. Appearances are extremely important for nobles if they want to maintain their social status. It’s likely that he was raised in poverty, but had some fancy hand-me-down clothes (though not many, because his family would have had to sell spare clothes when they ran low on money). Jasper was most likely sent to Heliodor Castle around 5 or 6 years old to become a knight specifically because his family could not afford to take care of him anymore (age estimated based on his age when he and Hendrik first met at the castle).

Knowing Jasper’s background, one can imagine that the outfit he wears as commander of the Spectral Sentinels serves as a symbol of status, a symbol of his desire to reclaim wealth and power for himself. Examining Jasper’s character under the lens of class like this also causes one to wonder if part of the reason why he became so jealous of Hendrik is because Hendrik comes from a family of common Zwaardsrustian farmers, yet attained far greater fame and popularity than him. There are also some interesting implications of Jasper being the “queen” to Mordegon’s “king”.

Overall, while "queen” was not an obvious answer to those without knowledge of character design and medieval fashion, it’s the part of the answer that I find has the most discussion points surrounding it. (Personally, my initial impression of Jasper’s outfit was that it reminded me of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, because of the heart designs on the collar.)

As for the second part of the answer... it becomes pretty clear when you consider the black feathers and staff. He’s a warlock!

In fantasy tabletop RPGs, such as Dungeons and Dragons, warlocks are described as magic users who have made pacts with supernatural beings (usually evil/amoral entities), hoping to quell their insatiable thirst for knowledge and power. The concept perfectly applies to the relationship between Jasper and Mordegon. In return for his allegiance, Mordegon granted Jasper the position of chief commander in his army, and the silver orb, which enhances his abilities.

Copied + pasted directly from Wikipedia: “The most commonly accepted etymology derives warlock from the Old English wǣrloga meaning ‘oathbreaker' or ‘deceiver’.”

Jasper in Act II is the Jasper who has finally broken free of his oath to Heliodor, hence the symbolic title of “Unbound”. Though it’s not a class in DQ or anything, his character correlates perfectly with the concept of a warlock.

So. In conclusion, Jasper is a warlock whose outfit takes inspiration from the expensive clothing worn by queens. Not a jester. (For real, how would it be in-character for him to want to dress like a jester..?)

#dragon quest #dragon quest xi #dq11 #dqxi #jasper #If I go for too long without writing essays that only 4 people will care about I WILL die

[hurdlehoops]

SPN did Market Research for Dean & Cas

Disclaimer: Yes this is a sock for safety reasons. Post is long, but please read it.

No shit there I was checking my email, as you do, and I saw I had a screener from one of the market research groups I’m signed up with.  On average, I do a market research thing every 3-4 months because I like non-reportable money. And giving my opinions. And talking to people behind 2 way mirrors without having to go to a police station.   

Market research itself was early December, 2016. First email contact with the screener was late October or early November. 

I see it’s an “offsite,” meaning a market research company is subcontracted by another company who wants to do the market research at their own facility, but doesn't want to find the participants on their own, so they use the Market research company (in this case Schlesinger and Associates) as an intermediary. I can’t remember if this screener identified itself as being for TV, not all do, some might identify only as entertainment, and some might be even more vague until you get into the screener. Regardless of the identification for the screener (TV or entertainment), I fill out almost every screener I receive unless it’s obvious, from the subject, they won’t want me (ie looking for certain types of professionals)- it didn’t matter, then, if the subject matter was something I particularly like, I would’ve filled it out anyway.  

After normal, but more detailed than usual demographics questions, the screener asked about TV habits. Eventually,  it said the word “fandom” and asked what TV fandoms I’d count myself in.  It was roughly a list of 20 shows and listed “fandom” (defined as I watch every episode and read additional materials about the show. Note this is not what fandom itself would consider fandom, but people most fandom dwellers would still count as GA).  Beyond fandom, one could indicate they: watch all episodes but don’t seek out more,  watch most episodes, have seen some episodes, watched a few, or haven’t watched.  (I just got a screener for soap operas and realized that part was the same and made note). Therefore, fandom, to corporate, are people who watch everything and maybe buy some swag for the show- magazines/shirts. Then, they asked about conventions I might have attended.  And then asked about my dream vacation, so I babbled a lot about my dream to go to SDCC (I hadn’t at this point). Supernatural was on the list of shows, so I made sure I answered the essay questions about it, because why not? It was my favorite of what was listed.  It was a long screener. I don’t remember the rest. Though sometimes I might remember a detail if a screener reminds me of it. Most fun screener I’ve filled out.

A few days/weeks later, I got a call for step 2- the phone screener for the people that sounded good when filling out the form. And where they try and make sure your answers match or fit that same person who answered them. I passed step 2, and was told there would be homework, and asked ifI’d have time for it, since I would only have so many days to watch the assigned material and write essays about them. 

Homework arrives: I have to watch and write essays on all the bonus features of Supernatural S10. There might’ve been something in there from another year, too. And all the bonus features from some season of  Big Bang Theory.  Essays for all of it, too.  And I mean essays, not short answers.  It was like the SATs, and I was analyzing blooper reels (among other things).  I still don’t get why they wanted essay questions on blooper reels, but I’ll always happily write one again cause that was the funniest essay to have to write! 

I had to both print and bring and email all my answers ahead of time.  I did not keep them.  I’m honestly curious what I might’ve written.  

So in December, I get to go to WB’s market research department. Fun fact: the entrance to that building faces what had recently been the Supernatural poster. I check in. At this point I think it’s a group. Because most market research is done in groups. Also they said I was there for the “DVD bonus features study” 

I wait in the lobby, but I’m surprised there seem to be very few others around. I don’t think I got there too early, but all the others were taken back before me. And they didn’t seem to be there for the same study.  Oh and I wore business casual clothes but had some show-based earrings for fun.  

Finally a nice lady brings me back to a room. She turns off the lights and gives me a fancy remote and has me play with a new system for watching bonus features. I had to start with BBT. Then we did something else. Then I was allowed to scroll through and I picked Supernatural, and answered all the things.  By this point I figured I would be released soonish   because I was supposed to be there only for an hour. And this was at least half an hour at the most. No clock, though and cell phone off.  Maybe this part went faster than I remember, but it was less interesting so it felt longer? Or less interesting compared to what came next. 

We switch gears. I’m no longer allowed to pick what we watch and talk about my thoughts on if SDCC panels belong in bonus features.  (Me: should have a preorder and you get to watch it when the season airs with DVD to arrive when season ends. Silly to watch it after the season when it’s mostly vague spoilers for the first episode or so). Obviously WB doesn’t listen to me about everything.

Oh! In the screener as part of normal demographics, I was asked about my sexuality. It isn’t completely rare (I can talk about another market research where you had to be queer to be part of it), but there were some short answers about representation or something similar. Something that is significant *now,* but at the time I didn’t notice as being too weird.  Since they probably had me listed to the people behind the mirror as X (if they even got my name) Y resident, bisexual, age.  I very specifically said stuff to her about representation cause I wasn’t gonna miss my shot.

Anyway so we switch from dvd extras and she queues up video from another file.

She puts a scene of Supernatural on and has me watch. Then repeats it. And asks questions about my opinions on what’s happening.  Then has me watch and only pay attention to Character D and tell her what I think his emotions are.  Then again but with Character C.  

Complete torture… lol… at this point I’m confused, but enjoying this torture.

So there I am watching the Crypt scene over and over and analyzing it.  And talking about their feelings.  

And then I stop her and say something to the effect of “look I’m bi. There’s not a lot of good representation on what being bi is like.  But from episode 1 I’ve known Dean is Bi.”    And I babbled about how important a macho badass but closeted character is for representation. And that I hoped they did more with that.  I included some anecdotes from other lgbtq friends and straight allies and how they all felt as I did- Dean is Bi, Cas is whatever he wants to identify as, and we felt we recognized our experiences on the screen and hoped for continued and louder representation. 

Bam. My interviewer was called out of the room by the people behind the mirror. Suddenly I’m getting a whole new set of questions

Like this is the most baffling and amazing thing that's happened to me in years. It imprinted in my mind, and I haven’t mentioned it to too many people, because of the NDA and being afraid to jinx things. But now I don’t feel like it matters to be as quiet. Obviously I don’t want WB to go after me but... market research isn’t unusual, just mostly used for spin-offs or new shows not for plot points of shows already happening. At least, that’s my understanding. 

The interviewer  comes back after a short discussion with whoever was behind the glass. Asks a few more questions

We’re now very much going into various things about what I’d just said. I took my shot. And apparently it paid off big time.  At some point she’s pulled out of the room again and given a paper with more questions. Some were about Dean’s bisexuality, or how I, and anecdotally my friends, saw him as bisexual.  Others were about the potential romance. None, that I remember, were about Castiel’s sexuality- I guess that was a given or not important. 

I don’t know if any of the writers were behind the glass from the beginning, but I felt like they stalled to get someone there, maybe.

The interviewer was baffled and made sure I knew nothing that was happening was normal.  They wanted to ask me more questions than they usually care to get out of their market research volunteers. 

So those are the most important parts. Basically almost everything I was asked after that was about character analysis and queerness and a whole bunch of other things that were related (I also mentioned needing more disability rep, too).  I was back there for at least 2 hours.

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #misha collins #jensen ackles

[no-droids]

Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))

First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭

And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).

I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)

So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.

Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻

okay

okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF

I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,

1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which

2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person

3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.

4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺

So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG

#ask #anon #I am so sorry I rambled so long jshdjdjdjddh #rough day spoilers

[myhoneststudyblr]

every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips! 

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point 

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy 

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it 

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook. 

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack! 

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique 

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged. 

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me 

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better. 

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

#how to stop procrastinating #procrastination #studyblr #my advice #sophie speaks #me #mine #student #study motivation #motivation #study advice #studying #study tips #high school #university #myhoneststudyblr #studyblr support #problematicprocrastinator #heypat #adelinestudiess #eintsein #einstetic #heycoral #stuhde #philologystudies #idiotacademia #studyvan #bentostudy #elleandhermione #sonderstudy

[stopscammingartists]

There is literally nothing glip could do that would change your mind. They could literally destroy themself trying and you would just find reason to continue discrediting a massively abused and traumatized individual who- yes, did NOT handle things perfectly at times - but who is also a fucking human being and asking them to be literally perfect when they have hundreds, if not thousands, of people spewing vitriol and probably death threats (knowing the internet) at them based on stuff their abuser has done.

How the fuck do you expect someone to handle that, especially someone who’s been abused since childhood and then groomed well into adulthood. it was only the past 4 years that they began to realize how fucked up it all was. They were gaslit for -years-, they had no control over their boundaries because they were constantly ignored, and they had no reference of healthy interactions with others. Of course they’re not going to be perfect, but if you actually bothered to listen to what they’re saying you’d realize that they’re actually -trying- to improve. Trauma like that doesn’t go away overnight. They’re not perfect, and people like you won’t let them heal without ripping into literally everything they try and do to make things better. Idk about you but that shit would make me wanna give up. Why bother, if you will never accept the effort?

I’ve read all sides of this shit (available publicly), and all I can see is people abusing them further for the sake of laughs or out of some sick sense of “justice” being taken out on the wrong fucking person. They literally can do nothing to please you because you don’t WANT to change your mind. You want a fucking boogie man to lash out at. You want a “justified” target. You’re disgusting.

You don't know what you're talking about and you do not know me.

Before Glip became active on Tumblr again - the last time this blog was active was 9 months ago. That was my co mod. The last post I made on this blog was about a year and a half ago and was a reblog on August of 2020. The last actual post I made on this blog was in June of 2020 - almost two years ago.

If what you say is true about me: that nothing is ever enough - why did I stop running this blog for such a long gap? And why did I return now?

Because my mind was changed. I didn't see a reason to be running this blog. Glip wasn't outwardly recruiting people into their cycle of abuse pinwheel of a discord server on social media. That. To me. Was enough.

At my core I believe that after everything: Glip is either too genuinely broken from their abuse to run a community or to maliciously predatory to run a community. Which one Glip is specifically does not matter, the result is the same. (I personally believe it was a lot of both.) By running a community, they continue this cycle of abuse because Glip has proven for the past decade that they are incapable of running a community in a healthy way.

I know Glip was running a community during that time, and I also know some fucked things were done in Glips community during that time either under their watch if not by their hand. But as they were not using tumblr to actively recruit people there was nothing I could reasonably do as my goal is to only dissuade people from joining glips communities and to generally avoid Glip.

There was no reason to run this blog because not only because anything I could have done here during that time period wouldn't have accomplished anything that I care to achieve. But also because I do not like running this blog.

Seriously, you think I get a kick out of dealing with bitchy asks like yours? You think I like taking hours writing essays about the horrid material involving this situation? I have other things I could be doing, much more fun things then this shit. But I do it because I believe it could make even a slight difference by dissuading people who see Glips cute queer art, joining their server and by extension, the cycle of abuse. That, to me, makes this chore worth it. Because I've been in Glips cycle and it fucking fucked me up as a kid.

If you think asking that Glip recognizes that they are genuinely incapable of running a healthy community and no longer trying is asking that they "be perfect" then you're dumber than a bag of rocks. I don't like glip for a lot of reasons - a lot of which I’ve expressed on this blog. But the only thing that makes me run this blog is the fact they continue hurting people in the same way they've always done and are in fact looking to expand on the scope of how many people they drag into this. While refusing to take the one real step they can take to stop hurting people.

#glitchedpuppet #floraverse

[percabeth4life]

Sorry to just jump in here and drop this on you, but i saw a blog once call percabeth an abusive relationship???? and i was like ?????? but none of my friends read pjo so i cant ask them for thoughts, how about you?

Oh boy anon so this is a thing.

Percabeth is abusive is a common thing those that hate percabeth or ship something else and want to validate it say, and why I have the “anti-percabeth” tag blocked.

I’ve seen people say Annabeth just giving him a dirty look was abuse, people will reach for anything done between them that isn’t perfect, usually to justify why their ship is better.

Honestly, I’m open to most ships. Percabeth is my main but if you ship things that’s totally fine, even if I don’t like it I won’t say you shouldn’t ship it. I read non-Percabeth ships, but a lot of people feel a strong need to insist a ship is abusive if they don’t like it.

It’s fine to just not like a ship.

First off lets preface all of this with a warning that I’ll be discussing abuse here so if that’s upsetting skip it.

It got long, like very long (word count is nearly 3k), so it’s all under the Read More, there’s a TLDR at the very bottom.

Now then, what is abuse?

There are two definitions that pop up with a quick google search

Use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. 

Treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

If you look up the legal definition (law.cornell) used to define abuse there are more options, but I’m leaving out 2, 3, and 4 cause 3 and 4 def have nothing to do with this and definition 2 is in regards to child abuse.

Abuse, generally: physically, sexually, or mentally injuring a person.

Now if we want to go deeper in lets define physical and mental abuse. I’ll be leaving out sexual as that has no bearing on this particular situation.

Physical abuse is defined by healthyplace.com as

Non-accidental use of force that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. This includes, but is not limited to, being slapped, burned, cut, bruised or improperly physically restrained.

Now lets expand on this.

Something that is pointed to specifically is the mentioned intent. “Non-accidental”. It must be purposeful harm.

Now, I will also point out that Physical abuse doesn’t necessarily say the intent needs to be abuse, but as my lawyer parents state it simply needs to be “intent to harm” and it gets labeled abuse. The legal definition (given above) agrees, it is simply that it needs to be purposeful harm. But then we need to define this harm, especially the bodily injury, pain, or impairment.

Bodily injury is defined by Merriam Webster as

any damage to a person's physical condition including pain or illness

Now what is damage?

loss or harm resulting from injury to person, property, or reputation

So then harm is defined as... damage, so the definition I prescribe to (and I asked my lawyer parents to confirm, unfortunately I have no link for that).

Causes pain (pain defined as suffering)

Pain is defined by Merriam Webster as

a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease)

a basic bodily sensation that is induced by a noxious stimulus, is received by naked nerve endings, is associated with actual or potential tissue damage, is characterized by physical discomfort (such as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leads to evasive action

mental or emotional distress or suffering

Finally impairment is

diminishment or loss of function or ability

(all of the above definitions except harm are pulled from Merriam Webster linked with Bodily Injury)

Okay, so now lets consider it, physical abuse needs to cause damage to someone, it must be purposeful damage though the intent to abuse does not necessarily need to be the intent. So if your actions do not intend physical harm then it is not physical abuse.

So then, do Percy and Annabeth have a physically abusive relationship?

Lets start with the classic one that everyone likes to bring up, the Judo Flip.

First off, do Judo Flips hurt? [sourcing (1) (2) (3)]

They CAN hurt if done with that intent, but if your intent is to not harm and you are trained properly, No Judo should not hurt. Anyone properly trained in Judo should know how to prevent harm. (1, 2)

On top of that, the first thing anyone learning Judo is taught is how to fall.

All judoka learn to fall safely, by rolling and breaking their fall with Ukemi. This breakfall absorbs the impact of the throw. (3)

Percy should have the basics of this down seeing how he was already in matches (mentioned in book one prior him being claimed) in his first summer at camp, after four years he’s definitely got the basics down.

Therefore, the Judo flip did not intend to cause harm, nor did it appear to. Despite that it was on stone, and Annabeth had him pinned, Percy didn’t even show discomfort. He laughed.

On top of that, when Annabeth last saw Percy he had the Curse of Achilles. As far as she was aware, he still had it. A requirement of Physical Abuse is the intent to cause harm, every factor here shows that there was no intent to cause harm.

This scene was not physical abuse, it was just bad writing.

I can think of other scenes, only a few, before they were actually in a relationship. In book three Annabeth punched Percy in the stomach when he didn’t catch her hint that he should ask her to dance

She punched me in the gut. ‘Me, Seaweed Brain.’

‘Oh. Oh, right.’ (TTC, chapter 1, page 8 of book on my copy)

There doesn’t seem to have been any harm done as he doesn’t even mention it hurting, not even a pause, just went “oh yeah her”. So it was likely a light punch, the kind friends do that don’t hurt just catch attention. Annabeth has been trained since she was 7, she should know how to throw a punch without actually causing harm.

If anyone wants to bring up other examples, feel free, I’m not combing the books right now for examples but I will reply to them (preferably in asks so this post doesn’t get super long...)

I cannot think of any examples of Percy hitting/punching Annabeth nor any other kind of physical interaction, if someone wishes to bring one of those up feel free.

Does this mean that I think they should be hitting each other despite the fact that it’s clear there is no intent to harm?

No, I don’t really think they should be hitting each other.

But! An important thing there is their own boundaries, not mine. I would not be up for being hit but I do share friendly punches with my friends, which is similar in intent. It’s simply that they’ve been trained to fight and have to a lot to survive so their boundaries for what is “harmful” are different.

But that’s a whole different issue and a different academic essay :)

I don’t believe there is any physical abuse in Percabeth.

Moving on, Emotional abuse (which Psychological and Verbal added as they all connect).

Emotional abuse is defined by helathyplace.com as

Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.

It also covers Psychological abuse and verbal abuse. Psychological abuse does not have a definition available on the site I’m using but it does have a description. If you’d like to read the description go (here). I will add a detail of how it works though

Psychological abuse signs and symptoms may start small at first as the abuser "tests the waters" to see what the other person will accept, but before long the psychological abuse builds into something that can be frightening and threatening.

Verbal abuse definition defined by healthyplace.com is

Any language or behavior that seeks to coerce its victim to doubt their perceptions or their abilities and subjugate themselves to the abuser.

So considering that, we note another important factor here, they also have intent involved. “Test the waters” and “seek to coerce” for Psychological and Verbal abuse.

Emotional abuse is different in that it does not specify intent, except every item mentioned is purposeful. If you’re confining someone then you’re doing that on purpose, you cannot easily accidentally do most of that. Those actions carry intent, even if the intent is not abuse.

Now then, is percabeth emotionally abusive?

Once again I’ll start with the big thing people point out, the Judo Flip.

I’ve seen it point out that it could be seen as humiliation.

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

Percy had the nerve to laugh. Suddenly the lump of heated emotions melted inside Annabeth.

“Consider me warned,” Percy said. “I missed you, too.” (MOA, chapter 2, page 19 of my copy)

If you look at the scene itself you’ll see that Annabeth is very emotional right then, she just got her boyfriend back, she’s exhausted from months of worrying, she’s emotionally very strained, and she judo flips him as all her pain just fills her.

A lot of people with anxiety or high stress or similar issues have times when the anxiety doesn’t affect them during the time they’re stressed, but right after the stressors are gone.

It’s clear that’s what happened here, all her feelings that she’d been burying to work just filled her.

And Percy smiles up at her and says he missed her.

It’s clear from her own comment that she didn’t care what the Romans thought (said right after they almost attacked her) that her thoughts were not on how this looked for Percy, but for her. She knew it looked bad for her to attack him.

She wasn’t trying to embarrass or humiliate Percy, she was trying to get all that pain and stress and anger out. I don’t like how it was done, but it did not physically harm him (nor did she expect it to) and it clearly did not humiliate him.

He smiled and said he missed her.

He understood what she was going through, and made it clear he loved her.

I still think it was bad writing, but it’s not humiliation, nor is it emotional abuse.

Another thing I’ve seen pointed out is Annabeth’s nickname for Percy.

Seaweed Brain.

I will start this with a reminder that both of their nicknames for each other were originally meant as insults.

Wise Girl was first used by Clarisse and it clearly upset Annabeth, it is used twice by Clarisse actually.

Once in TLT, when she and Percy first meet, and once in SOM when they’re attacking Charybdis.

Percy in comparison uses Wise Girl twice as well, both in TLT, once when he was mocking her at her coming along on the quest and once when they were saying goodbye. It’s also used once in HOO, in BOO.

Honestly it’s not much a nickname... only used by Percy 3 times in all the (main) books. There are like 3 other cases in all the side stories and MCGA combined.

Annabeth uses seaweed brain a total of 41 times in all the books combined, in PJO it’s used 25 times, 22 by Annabeth, and HOO it’s used outloud 9 times, all by Annabeth. On top of this, while the PJO cases were all outloud, the HOO cases were not, with 2 (making the total 11) used only in Annabeth’s thoughts.

Seaweed brain is used in TLT 6 times, 5 times by Annabeth.

The first time is when Annabeth is joining the quest, then when he says things are going fine so far when they start the quest, then when at the Ride of Love, then when Annabeth calls him her friend, then when they’re saying goodbye.

If you watch the progression of it it’s the same as with Wise Girl, though used more often. It starts as an insult, and then becomes fond and a term for her friend by the end of it.

I don’t particularly want to label every single instance, but a quick overview of all the PJO books is that it’s used by Annabeth in annoyance a total of 4 times, in fondness/exasperation/worry 18 times. Those times of annoyance were all in books 1 and 2, the time of exasperation (1 of the 18) was in book 2.

The vast majority were done out of worry, and the rest when she was being soft.

It’s not meant to diminish his intelligence, nor is intended as an insult beyond book 1 and 1 instance of book 2. It is rarely used because he’s being ignorant either. You can make an argument for the first case in book 3 being done because he wasn’t catching her hint to dance and thus was mocking his inability to catch a hint, but it was mixed with fondness from my read.

Overall the nickname is not intended as an insult anymore, it has become a friendly name for Percy that shows how fond Annabeth is of him. She does not have nicknames for anyone else.

In HOO all the cases were relatively fond, with one that she didn’t say outloud being used when she was cheering Hazel up by telling stories about Percy (ah the benefits of long time friendships, you get to tell all the good stories).

In the end I think that it’s cute that they have a nickname for each other, and though there could be more flattering ones, the intent that Percy understands from it and the intent Annabeth uses it with clearly show that it is meant in fondness and was a gradual change from a name that was meant to poke at him. It’s meaning is is fond and loving and it was only used 3 times prior with any other (negative) intent.

Also friends give each other nicknames, and commonly they are meant to be teasing.

There is one other thing I’ve seen brought up, being Annabeth thinking that she needs to keep Percy on his toes (specifically about Rachel in this case) when they’re in Tartarus.

‘Rachel?’ Percy asked. ‘You mean our Rachel? Oracle of Delphi Rachel?’

‘That’s the one.’ Annabeth suppressed a smile.

Whenever she brought up Rachel’s name, Percy got nervous. At one point, Rachel had been interested in dating Percy. That was ancient history. Rachel and Annabeth were good friends now. But Annabeth didn’t mind making Percy a little uneasy. You had to keep your boyfriend on his toes. (HOH, didn’t bother to check chapter number, page 109 of my copy)

So here we see that Annabeth is “keeping him on his toes” but in context, they’re sending a note to Rachel through the Hermes temple in Tartarus. It was not Annabeth bringing it up to mess with him, it was her smiling at the little moment where he was thrown off about Rachel.

Frankly, in general Annabeth doesn’t do anything like that. She occasionally teases Percy but he always teases back. After the Rachel stuff in book 5 things were chill with all of them. We’ve seen no evidence of Percy being uncomfortable with Rachel being brought up, nor Annabeth thinking that it should be brought up for that purpose.

If anything Annabeth has shown some serious abandonment issues in fearing that Percy would leave her over other girls (she needs some therapy after that mess of a childhood but Khiron apparenlty doesn’t think so).

I see this as a case of bad writing with nothing else supporting it, including the scene it happens in.

Even had it actually been something supported by other instances, in the context she says it in it seems more like teasing over an ex where the break was amicable and everyone is still friends, which isn’t abusive or manipulative.

It’s just that Rick is tasteless.

So is Percabeth emotionally/psychologically/verbally abusive? No.

If someone wishes to bring up other instances shoot me an ask.

So in conclusion,

I do not see how it is abusive. There are elements I do not like, and some parts that in my own relationship I wouldn’t be okay with. But in Percy and Annabeth’s relationship they have clear boundaries, they are both more than capable of stopping the other if they do something that upsets them. They have both shown fondness towards the others actions even if it is something that we don’t approve of in our relationships.

If Percy showed upset at her actions that would be different. But we literally see into his mind and he shows no upset at her words or actions. He is fond, he is understanding, and he responds to each instance of teasing with teasing of his own.

Notably I never see people saying Percy is abusive, only Annabeth.

I get a feel that people ask for flawed characters then crucify them if they’re not flawed in easily likeable ways. Annabeth is not a perfect character, I don’t like everything she does, but she is a realistic character and should not be demonized.

TDLR: Annabeth has never purposefully harmed Percy, and Percy has never purposefully harmed her. Neither have verbally/emotionally/psychological taken actions with the intent of harming the other when in their relationship or since becoming friends. There have been instances of upsetting the other but they talked and it clearly was not meant to hurt the other but because they themselves were hurting

Percabeth is not abusive

#pjo #hoo #anon asks #life answers #percabeth #pjo meta #pjo analysis #percy jackson #annabeth chase #abuse tw #tw abuse #if you guys have other thoughts feel free to shoot me an ask #I cited everything #TDLR at the bottom #rachel elizabeth dare #I have so many tabs open #like 20 on abuse and definitions of terms #stars I need to close some tags #life analyses #I spent 2 hours on this

[danawinter]

i really wish that the writers would've given quinn something to tie all of her s3 plots together. i feel like this easily could've happened by having it come to light that in the summer between her junior and senior year she found out her dad isn't gonna pay for her college.

1. it would've given us a chance to get an insight into quinn's family trauma and how she's coping

2. it would've had more impact with her shift to becoming punk, if we found out that in her junior year she was still trying to appeal to her dad to get him back, but now she has completely given up

3. it would've explained a bit more why she is so desperate to get beth back, since without a chance to go to college and make something of herself, motherhood might feel like her only option

3b. also, being rejected once again by her dad might've made her want to get back in her daughter's life, because by giving her up for adoption she felt like she rejected beth the way her parents did her

4. it would've given more power to her deciding to try and get into yale anyway, because even if she gets in, she might never get to go

4b. her writing an essay about all of the trauma she's gone through could've felt like a genuine way of breaking free from her dad: instead of keeping all of her emotions inside and making things look better than they are, the way her dad taught her, she can be honest and open and get accepted for it

5. her reaction to the finchel wedding, beyond being very gay, could've been partially rooted in how she saw what making a rushed decision about marrying someone did to her mother, and she just wants rachel to be careful

6. perhaps her dad could've come around and wanted to support her financially once she got in her car accident, and quinn could be left wondering about the implications of either decision she could make

6b. on one the hand, taking his money would mean letting him into her life again with the risk of getting hurt again, but it would also give her the opportunity to make something of herself at long last

7. perhaps she could've included artie on making the decision (i don't exactly remember his family dynamic, but i do seem to recall that his mom and him live alone, so maybe his dad left his family too)

7b. this would've also made "i'm still standing" feel a bit less awkward, because even though the song choice seems poignant with their physical state, it would also feel cathartic for them to get to sing about how they will overcome their leaving dads

8. and maybe her tentative relationship with joe, and rachel telling her how happy she is that they are friends could've led to her realizing that relationships can be whatever she wants them to be; she doesn't have to choose between being super happy to be in her father's life or being complete strangers to each other, she can choose him to be whatever she wants and needs him to be

8b. additionally, she can learn that being an adult isn't about knowing everything or having everything figured out, and if you don't, just giving up; being an adult is having the strength to forge your own path and accept help from people when you need it, and keeping people at a certain distance if you are hesitant about them having too big of an impact of your life

9. also, we could've had quinn's mom promising to protect her from her dad, which would've shown huge character growth from the women who three years prior let her husband throw her daughter out

long story short, i wish glee was a better written show

#quinn fabray #i mean. i don't want quinn's dad to be a part of her life at all #but if glee could do subtlety #it could've been really interesting to have her grapple with the choice between her dad and college #and how keeping her dad away migh punish herself more than him in the long run #also. it's not like her could follow her to new haven #mine

[life-rewritten]

THE GIANTS OF THAI BL 2020 AKA SHOWS STEALING MY HEART IN NOVEMBER

UPDATE AND UPCOMING ANALYSIS NOVEMBER 2020

It's the moment I've been waiting for since the excruciating silence of Thai BLS during the lockdown. It's November, the month of thanksgivings, the month of pre-Christmas jitters, nanowrimo and the month that has finally made me realise we are so close to ending this godforsaken year. Still, most of all, November means that we are getting buttloads of shows that are about to take my breath away. This year has been such an exciting year for BLS because of the increasingly amount of companies and directors willing to produce and release different types of BLS. In this list, we have awaited sequels, delicious plotlines and shocking comebacks. But most of all we have lots and lots of romance and men. Which of these have you been waiting for? Let me know. Let's squeal about it. November is going to be so great!

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

Shows already airing

1.I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU/ INTERPRET, MY LOVE, WITH YOUR HEART

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship

Country: Thailand

Verdict: So finally I rise from the memories of poorly produced bls, and pains of bad acting, and toxic writings, and traumas of stiff actors and homophobic agendas to finally say that without a doubt. Nadao has produced another masterpiece after my other favourite (Non) BL; Greater Man academy. Nadao stuns me, and for a very long time, I couldn't understand that this was how everyone was feeling, one because I wasn't fully educated or in the know about the company, I only saw tv shows in Thailand that were produced by GMMTV and to be honest I didn't think there was anything else above that standard in shows apart from Lakorns and Movies. (I know Sacrebleu) Getting to know and watch Nadao shows has been an experience, and for BL, I am hooked and ready for what else they have to offer. The only qualms that prevent me from gushing about the show are how international fans are treated. It took me a very long time to forgive ITSAY for its subbing platform (and price range), and that's why I refused to watch it with positive feelings. After episode 2 though, I'd be a fool to hold on to resentment when there is no doubt that this BL (despite not knowing if it's a sad ending. I'd hate if it is but it wouldn't change anything) is the best BL of this year. With ridiculous, incredible production, outstanding breathtaking cinematography, beautiful and talented actors and writing so good it blows me away. Episode 2 left my heart in pieces, but in a good way, I haven't recovered from the angst.

Ratings: 4.5/5 Would have been a 5/5 if the pricing made sense but also I'm terrified about a sad ending which I won't be too happy about.

2. FRIEND FOREVER/ OUR LOVE IS SICK

Genre/Themes: Romance, Music, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship, Rich vs poor,  Bullying 

Country: Thailand

Verdict: It's a pity this show is not available for international fans. Because I think people would actually love this show the way I do. It's so precious, reminds me so much of my first ever BL Lovesick (made by the same production team so makes sense) but better. What can I say about this show, really adorable cast, actually so good on the screen, great chemistry, and good storylines that keep me hooked. I am so in love with surprisingly one of my favourite couples this year Tin and Sea. I have such a great time watching this show, and I enjoy also analysing and just piecing together some of the mysteries in the show. It's been so good so far, and I can't wait for more. The first episodes are a little slow-paced, but it gets better as you keep watching it. I'd advise you to watch the director's cut because that has all of the storylines in the episode instead of the tv version which is more censored and has a lot of deleted scenes that mess with the flow of the storyline. Still, one of my favourite Thai shows right now. 

Ratings: 4/5  I think 4/5 is a fair score just because of some confusion when trying to watch it internationally and getting the right version and I do think the story feels like a whiplash between the different styles of writing of the main two couples. Go watch this though if you haven't, dm me and I'll show you how. 

NON-THAI

3. GAYA SA PELIKULA

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, LGBTQ+ Education, Contract relationship, Haters to lovers

Country: Philippines 

Verdict: Normally with verdicts, I have so much to say about a show, also when I analyse I can write essays and essays of information. When it comes to this show, I'm speechless. I'm in awe; I'm crying just even trying to explain how great this show is. How great Fridays are because of this show. How upsetting and damaged I am when the end of the episode occurs, I literally mourn waiting for the next episode the next week because it's too long. This show pulls you in, and it never lets you go. I'm mindblown by the writing of this show, mindblown by the acting, by the production, music, but most of all I have become a mess because of this meta in this show. I have cried so much because of how much I care about this show, the characters are all fleshed out, are so powerfully written, and emotionally tugs at your heartstrings whilst still educating and representing LGBTQ community fantastically. I don't know what we did to deserve a show like this. Maybe its because after years of waiting for something to finally show up and just be unproblematic and be so great with no questions, no confusions, no struggle, this show is just that. And I will be forever thankful to the whole team that brought this to us

Ratings: 5/5 I would give this more than 5 if I could. That's how much this show means to me. 

4. CHERRY MAGIC 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Office drama, Slice of Life

Country: Japan

Verdict: Kurosawa and Adachi. That's it. That's the reason for the 5/5 stars when it comes to watching this show. First of all, I like Japanese romantic comedy shows, and anime, and manga. So seeing cherry magic come to life as this amazing form of that makes me so happy. Typically with Japanese BL, everything feels so serious sometimes, and then sometimes it feels too crazy and over the top. But Cherry Magic just feels like a warm hug when you watch it; you can't help your self but to smile and giggle at Adachi's adventures realising that he can read minds because he's a virgin at 30 years old. To add to that, he is given Kurosowa this incredible, amazing, wonderful non-toxic man who absolutely adores him and unconditionally is there for him. I just like what? Where do I get my own Kurosawa? Like it just feels so unfair haha. But really cherry magic is full of great acting, fantastic plot and unique as well. Every character is also written well, and all have interesting dynamics. We also have another side couple who is so funny and ridiculous but also just cute and heartwarming. I have a great time watching this show and the fact that it's ending on Christmas day? Already tells you what this show is, a gift and its a great one. 

Ratings: 5/5 I want my own Kurosawa. That's it. That's all I want Universe.

Shows Upcoming

5. THARNTYPE 7 YEARS OF LOVE

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy,  Mature, LGBTQ+ Representation, Internalised homophobia, Sequel

Country: Thailand

Verdict: This is a complicated show to gush about. First of all TharnType, the series in 2019 was one of my favourite shows that brought me back to this BL thing. I absolutely adore all the actors, and I also loved the storyline like I said before there's something about Mame's writing that I appreciate, I think most of her strengths is found in TharnType. Because of this, this sequel is one of my most anticipated show this year. However, I feel conflicted because I hate sequels. I hate couples having to go through the weird-ass, shallow, conflicts that just end up ruining the meaning of their previous show and leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth about the couple I once loved (Looking at you Together with me the next chapter still traumatised honestly). Enough of the negatives, Tharn and Type from the trailer looks like it's going to be a wild ride, I can even see the great chemistry that made me fall for MewGulf, and I'm so excited to see the new couples and characters. I also am so excited to see TECHNO again and laugh with him every Friday. We also know that the awaited wedding between our couple is also going to be in this show. And that's going to make me bawl like a baby. Let's hope we don't have too many toxic or troublesome storylines, let's hope we don't have too many breakups and fights (because that hurts so much seeing Mew cry) and let's hope we finally have a sequel that is better than its predecessor. 

Ratings: 4.5/5  This is how I feel about it, I don't think I can rate it as 5/5 because of all the worry and anxiety at what the storyline entails—still a great show to look forward to. 

6. MANNER OF DEATH

Genre/Themes: Romance, Crime, Mature, Angst, Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Think about it. Why wouldn't this be number one on everyone's list of upcoming BLS? We have the return of one of the best actors in this genre MaxTul the actual godfathers of Thai BL; we have an incredible team here with a director that has won multiple awards, with a storyline that is unique to Thai BL, we're getting crime, detective, mystery BL with mature characters who are not in university? As if that's not enough, we also have a really incredible plotline about this forensic doctor who falls in love with someone who we are not sure if we should trust because he could be a murderer! Like oooh yes please, the drama, the angst, the thrill?? I'm ready for this; I am so prepared to give my whole heart and attention on this show. I want it to be so good, to defeat the shows of 2019 that came and took our hearts away, to be the best BL ever. It's so difficult not to raise my expectations when it comes to this show when I know we have a great cast, great chemistry, non-stiff acting, and just a really non-toxic author as well. I look forward to this so much. Only issue/question? Where is the trailer? Hello WETV, where is our teaser? Why don't we know the date for when this is coming out? I want it out now. But I'll try and be patient okay? 

Ratings: 5/5 I can't think of how this show won't be good. And that's really worrying. But for now, I'll keep my expectations high and wait.

7. TONHON CHONTALEE 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Coming of Age, Angst, Comedy, Childhood friendship, GMMTV

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Podd and KHAOTHUNG, (my sun, my heart, my favourite person ever) Sorry just gushing over my two faves. GMMTV has shocked me this year with the announcement of this show. First of all, Khao gets to have a show where he's the main lead. I've been waiting for this, and I'm so proud and excited for him. Not only that obviously, but TonTonChontalee looks really good with a vibe of a  comedic spin to one of my favourite shows Theory of love. I am ready to see Podd act so stupid as Ton and at the same time sob when he finally realises that Chon is the one. I'm so ready to see Khao act his socks off, and the show looks so funny, so fun and just like the chemistry between two is definitely a winner. I cannot wait for this next Friday. And it also has Mike and Toptap! What's not to love? Seriously though I'm praying this is successful, and it helps both Podd and Khao to dominate GMMTV. Let's find out next Friday.

Ratings: 5/5 For Podd and Khaothung. Just worth the rating.

8. GEN Y THE SERIES

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, 2moons Fanfiction, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: First of all 2 MOONS Reunion! What?? Very shocked to see this show tbh one because it's like a direct copy of 2moons the series; the same cast, the weird alternations to the same name, the same kind of plot as well. Channel 3 has finally decided to invest in BLs,  one of the biggest companies in Thailand, so the budget is high, the actors are known and famous, the production is good. This is so exciting to see. Also, 2moons was one of my favourite past BLs the whole time it was airing, and I had a massive affinity for Kimmon and Copter, so it's great to see them play their characters again but with a better budget and now glow up and grown. Their acting seems to have improved, Kit and Ming's storyline being the main focus is also really lovely to see. I also love seeing Bas and the other actors from other Bl series (The Moment actors) and I'm excited to know more about the new cast as well. So yeh this show has a great potential to win my heart as well, and the competition is not easy at all. But with a great company behind them and an exciting premise, this can also be a winner. 

Ratings: 4/5 I'm intrigued by this show, and I look forward to seeing what it brings.

November is such an exciting month for someone like me who just loves watching tv and analysing and just seeing romance bloom. These couples, stories and actors have a great potential to be the best things of 2020 so far, each of these shows holds evidence that they're worth paying attention to and honestly I've missed seeing Thai BLs that make me so excited so much. I've missed these actors, I've loved each and every one of them, and I can't wait to see them this month on my screen. What about you, guys? What do you look forward to? Who are your favourites? What are you worried about when it comes to these comebacks. Let's discuss.

#thai bl #bl drama #itsay #i told sunset about you #friend forever the series #cherry magic! #cherry magic #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?! #japanese bl #bl series #gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #tharntype #tharntype 7 years of love #manner of death #tonhon chonlatee #poddkhao #gen y the series #wrpup #november #mewgulf #cwg

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

#bbc ghosts #the captain #coming out #sorry for the giant block of text friends #i find it difficult to help myself