#It started out as sort of a joke and then became a bit ironic and then not as ironic and then it just stuck

[rukia-writes]

Hercules x (fem) reader

A/N: Hercules has to have the most unique relationship as a sugar daddy in this event as he is just so Hercules. 😭

Warnings: 18+, no minors 🔞, sugar daddy x sugar baby relationship, alcohol, daddy mentions, fingering, rough sex, bit of jealousy.

🍬Rukia’s 4K event 🍬

“So? Is this part where we have sex?”

Hercules.

Outside his palace he was joking around with his beloved (Name), a minor flower goddess and Hercules’ supposed “sugar baby” of 100 years. Heading out Hercules had a mission to accomplish and was handing (Name) her payment for the month while he away. Smiling Hercules, watched as the bashful flower goddess politely told Hercules “There wasn’t time for that.”

“I was only joking. I’ll see you later, okay. Have fun with your gardening.”

Saying goodbye, Hercules left the still shy flower goddess. Waving goodbye, (Name) hoped Hercules wouldn’t be gone long. It was true, the god of fortitude did spoil his goddess but when he went away things could get rather lonely. The gifts ranged from the smallest thing to the most lavish.

All (Name) had to do was ask and it was done.

Even getting her own botanical garden that took up half the palace, the flowers were rather beautiful so Hercules didn’t mind. It all started with a joke ironically enough.

“I hear by call the council to order!”

The council of Valhalla was now in procession as the room was crowded with gods and goddess alike. While this time, it wasn’t to decide the fate of humanity instead it was to solve any problems Valhalla was facing. Zeus sat in his chair hoping today wouldn’t drag on like it usually did.

As time went on and the gods decided what to do with several cases, Ares found his brother kindly looking at someone. Waving his hand infront of his brother Ares told his brother that it was rude to stare at people, Hercules kindly turned a bit red from being caught and sort of agreed with Ares.

“What were you looking at anyways?”

“…I was just making sure (Name) was okay.”

Ares looked over at the minor flower goddess and he could understand where Hercules was coming from. Beautiful and a bit shy sometimes, hair that resembled the hyacinth flower and smelled like one as well. Beside her was her mother Chloris, and it seemed the two got a long well.

“She looks fine to me, why don’t you ask her out?”

Ares cleared his throat as he was no expert on the subject but he still wanted to support his friend and brother. Sighing Hercules told Ares he tried to but something always got in the way or he simply couldn’t do it. Ares was going to offer his opinion on the matter again, except this time he was interrupted by Hermes.

“You should talk to her when we go for a break.”

On the other side of Ares was Hermes, hearing the conversation he also pushed for Hercules to pursue his love interest. Hercules agreed to do so, after all he hadn’t seen her for sometime and wanted to know how she was doing. So, when it was time for recess the two had a chance to talk in the courtyard.

While the two were a bit awkward at first the longer the two talked, the more relaxed they became. Hercules found out that (Name) was here on business with her mother, apparently Elysium wasn’t doing so well with its fertility this year and they were asking for a bit of help.

Like always, Hercules offered to help in any way he could. Touched, (Name) smiled at the handsome Greek god at first kindly denying Hercules’ help. However, a thought came to her and she kindly smiled at Hercules while moving closer to him while asking if it was possible to get Zeus’ support and if he could help with another problem. Offering he would do his best Hercules reassured her and was curious about what problem she had.

“Well, you see I’ve been wanting get out on my own for awhile now. But I don’t have the resources to do so, maybe I could work-“

“I have a place you can stay, I’ll even take care of you.”

Hercules quickly interrupted his love interest catching (Name) off guard as she didn’t believe what she heard. Even offering to work for Hercules, however Hercules denied her on that again. Again, he offered to take care of her with no strings attached.

“But I have to give you something in return.”

“Don’t worry, your company is enough.”

Awe and surprise mixed together as (Name) heard Hercules words, bold and to the point. Thinking to herself how lucky she was to have Hercules favor. Wrapping her arms around Hercules muscled and toned arm making the Greek god jump a little bit as his face turned red from (Name) gesture.

“You’re sounding an awful like a sugar daddy, Hercules. Would you like to be my sugar daddy?”

Smiling (Name) was hoping Hercules would enjoy her little joke, after awhile of silence (Name) looked at Hercules to see him thinking to himself.

“What’s a sugar daddy?”

Innocent and to the point Hercules finally asked (Name) what a sugar daddy was, smiling and trying not to laugh (Name) kindly explained what a sugar daddy was. Hercules initially didn’t like the sound of a role of a sugar daddy but when (Name) suggested that she would give him whatever he wanted in return made him have a change of tune.

“So, if I become a..”sugar daddy” I can have your company and dates?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, then. I’ll be your sugar daddy!”

Smiling a wide tooth grin, Hercules accepted the title and position. Smiling back, (Name) accepted being Hercules’ sugar baby.

“And we have to have sex everyday. That’s the rules.”

Again, (Name) was joking but taking it seriously Hercules accepted the rule only for (Name) to bashfully tell him it was a joke making the Hercules turn red from embarrassment. Nevertheless, the two walked side by side back inside to the meeting and this time (Name) sat beside Hercules.

Ares wondered what was going on between the two only for Hercules to be direct as he simply told Ares that he was (Name)’s sugar daddy now. Ares was in pure shock while Hermes congratulated his brother with a smile.

That was how everything came to be.

For years, the two had a relationship that consisted of Hercules spoiling (Name) with lavish gifts and giving her whatever she wanted while she lived with him at the his palace or if she decided to stay with her mother. (Name) was quite happy with how things were between the two, however Hercules found out sometimes that (Name) had a “little” jealous side.

Being gone always made her a bit jealous especially when she heard Hercules had a saved a princess made her green with envy. However, Hercules reassured her that he was only saving people and doing his job, followed by Hercules giving her a gift.

Hercules wasn’t jealous like (Name) could be, but he was very protective as he was aware (Name) was part nymph and a flower nymph to boot. Hercules wanted Ares to keep an eye on her but (Name) reassured Hercules she would be fine, he still worried about her a lot though.

Now, (Name) wasn’t at Hercules’ palace upon his return. From what the servants told him (Name) had left a few days before to visit her mother, which Hercules didn’t mind. Hercules even found a little note from Chloris saying how great of a friend he was to her daughter.

Hercules didn’t know why, but the word friend irked him and he had no idea why.

However, Hercules didn’t dwell on that feeling for long as Ares had visited his brother. The two were close and even though they didn’t see each other often as they would like, they got a long quite well. Ares informed Hercules that he had stopped by for a chat days ago but when he didn’t see him he left.

But not before seeing (Name) and her mother.

Ares complimented both goddess and how they handled the gardens, the flowers were rather beautiful. Hercules, on the other hand didn’t like that his brother had met (Name)‘s mother before he properly did. At the same time, he knew while being busy he would miss opportunities like that.

While silently pouting, Hercules then caught Ares slip up by saying that Chloris asked “Where is your amazing friend Hercules you talk so much about.” The word friend irked Hercules again, and once again he couldn’t figure out why. Later that night, Hercules had more time to think why he was feeling that way and it didn’t take him long to figure it out.

Luckily, (Name) returned to Hercules the next day just before he had one more mission to complete and while (Name) seemed happy Hercules wasn’t even though he smiled and waved her good bye like he always did. It was only when Hercules left that she noticed he was a bit off for the most part, Thinking to herself maybe it was because of the mission and the next day (Name) made her way to Zeus’ palace.

Zeus informed (Name), after warmly welcoming her into his great room, that Hercules was sent to take care of lion that was terrorizing the country side in Thespius and that it would take Hercules a few days to catch it. (Name) didn’t seem too concern about Hercules going after a lion, after all he had completed his labors and (Name) was certain he would return.

However, (Name) wasn’t sure why Hercules seemed so concerned until Zeus mentioned that the fifty princess would be happy when the lion was defeated.

“Princesses? Fifty?!”

“Yes, they-“

Zeus, was the king of the gods, but once (Name) grabbed him by his sash Zeus was frightened by (Name)’s presence as her anger was scary. Zeus didn’t need to hear anything and called for Hermes to take her to the human world.

It was late at night when Hermes, arrived at the kings palace. The palace had just celebrated Hercules victory of the lion, and the party was quite heavy as drinks spilled, music played loudly, and dancing. Hermes whispered to (Name) that it was going to be hard to find Hercules in this crowd of people.

There was no need to as the two came across a group of women crying, all complaining their hero wouldn’t take them as a lover.

Hermes found the situation amusing and asked where their hero was. One of the princess told them where to find him which was in the King’s guest room, Hermes took (Name) there and (Name) thought the room was huge but Hermes wasn’t impressed. Both ducked when a huge vase was flung across the room and then shattering into millions of pieces.

“It’s not fair!”

Hermes knew where this was going and told (Name) to call for him when she was ready to go as he left back for Valhalla, he also told her that Hercules seemed a bit tipsy and to be careful. Before (Name) could say anything Hermes left followed by a loud voice kindly mocking the word, “Friend.”

Peeking her head around the corner (Name) saw Hercules drinking on the ground with several wine vases beside him and was currently finishing off another. (Name) didn’t recognize the Hercules before her and almost didn’t believe it was him until she heard Hercules say aloud, “I should have talked her before I left, I miss her so much.”

Slurring his word “her” (Name) was sure it was indeed Hercules, just as (Name) was about to make herself known Hercules spoke again without turning his back towards her,

“If you’re one of the king’s daughter please leave, I’ve told you all I have a sugar baby back home.”

Busting out in a fit laughter (Name) couldn’t help but be tickled by Hercules statement, quickly turning around Hercules saw (Name) waving hello at him as she wiped the tear from her eye. Red in the face from the alcohol, Hercules squinted his eyes to be sure it was (Name) in-front of him and not the alcohol.

“(Name)?! How did you get here?!”

“Hermes, helped me. I was worried-“

(Name) quickly lost her breath when Hercules quickly hugged her tightly to his chest in a bear hug while telling her happy he was to see her, muscles tightening around making it hard for her to breath. Hercules released her when he asked her why she was here, after getting her breath back she informed Hercules that she was worried about him.

Before shyly telling him that she heard about fifty princesses and wanted to check on him. Hercules wasn’t tipsy but was quite drunk and he was still able to piece together the full story as he gently poked her forehead continuously while teasingly telling her,

“You were jealous again, huh?”

“No, of course not!”

(Name) denied it but Hercules was no fool and continued to tease her with, “My sweet sugar baby is jealous.” And with “You’re so cute when you’re jealous.” (Name) poked Hercules chest continuously while saying, “Well, it doesn’t help that you’re saving Princesses all the time.”

“Well, maybe if you wouldn’t consider me a friend! After I’ve taken care of you a 100 years!”

“…Who told you that? And what does that have to do with you saving princesses all the time?!”

“Everything! And you do consider me a friend after all these years after all!”

“What?! No, I consider you a …I-“

The two had their little argument even though Hercules’ thinking was now a little off as the wine was now really starting to get him, however (Name) while being of sound mind was emotional and now was bashful as she cleared her throat wanting to confess what was on her mind. However, Hercules was quick to talk.

“Consider me, what? What do you consider me as? I’m listening.”

Hercules placed his hand over his ear and even leaned down to listen to her response, only for (Name) to turn around folding her arms to her chest and tell him that she wasn’t telling him anything. The sound of metal hitting the ground, quickly looking behind her with freight to see Hercules taking off his chest guard and once it hit the ground Hercules popped his knuckles then proceeding to wiggle his fingers with a smile on his face.

“I see, you want to play. Do you?”

Slowly backing away (Name) shook her “no” as she knew what Hercules was planning and just as she ran the god of fortitude easily grabbed her and tickled her sides making her drop to her knees laughing until (Name) was laughing on the floor with a smiling Hercules.

Pleading for mercy (Name) hoped Hercules would her pleas, instead Hercules taunted her by asking, “Who’s your daddy? Hm? Who’s your daddy?” Ribs, sides and stomach Hercules tickled (Name) until he was satisfied.

“Now tell me already.”

“…I consider you my lover. I only said that you were my friend to other people because I didn’t want other people to know. I was only looking out for you.”

Wiping the tear from her eyes from laughing (Name) answered Hercules’ question, smiling his bright smile making (Name)’s heart skip a beat Hercules gently lifted her and placed her on his shoulder stumbling a little in the process from the alcohol but he regained his posture as he told (Name) they were going back home.

(Name) was a bit bashful as Hercules lifted her so effortlessly and carried her all the way home easy. Of course, Hermes helped guide them back. In the afternoon, was outside in her botanical gardens trying happy things between Hercules were salvaged and once she heard Hercules call out for her as she was actually inside her rather large shed.

When he finally found her, Hercules hugged her in a bear hug as he first apologized about last night and then informed her that he was just invited to go hunting with Ares and Apollo. As if to make up he gave her a kiss on her forehead as to say “Don’t be mad at me.”

“Well, before you go I need some help with the some heavy equipment.”

“Say less, what do you need help with?”

Smiling, Hercules was happy to help as he flexed right his bicep muscles showing how strong he was, which only made (Name) hot and bothered as she looked at his huge his muscles as he had healthy veins here and there and even some on his hands, his fingers were thick and his fingernails were trimmed.

Looking at all this made her nymph side come out and Hercules didn’t know any better until he noticed how she was complimenting his strength while stroking his bicep, and when he looked her in the eye he knew that emotion called “Lust.” Hercules didn’t know what to do as he hadn’t sex, of course the two kissed before and sex did cross Hercules’ mind a few times.

There were times he wanted to simply come home from a mission, fuck his at the time sugar baby into bed and go to sleep.

Hercules was simple.

Yet, here was his opportunity as her body close was close to his with her hands looking at his hand now and complimenting them. “You have very strong hands, I’m sure they’ll work help with the problem I have.” That was all Hercules needed to hear as he closed the shed door with the back of his foot then gently grabbing her chin making her look at him.

Direct and simple.

“Are you horny?”

A bit too direct but (Name) couldn’t lie to her sugar daddy as she cleared her throat and answered “Yes”. Quickly clearing the table she had inside her shed Hercules motioned for her to get on which she quickly and happily did so and it was when he noticed the dress she was wearing.

The dress was long, split down the side, with straps. Noticing Hercules was looking at her, she asked what had caught his attention with a smile. On the side that was split Hercules was what Hercules paid the most attention to and when he felt the dress as (Name) sat on the table he smirked.

“I like your dress.”

It was amazing how a simple compliment from Hercules made (Name) wet for the man, as he asked if she was ready again (Name) nodded her head eagerly and then when told her it was also his first time he followed up by asking what she wanted. Gently taking his hand and placing it on her pussy, and Hercules caught the message.

“Okay, I get it.”

Spreading her legs with her feet on the table, Hercules blushed a bit with a little drool that he quickly wipe off as his cock became excited at the sight. As the feeling of lust spread across his emotions, Hercules asked once more if she was ready which (Name) quickly answered with, “Yes.” Hercules placed one finger inside (Name)’s cunt as she tilted her head back

Covering her mouth with her hands as Hercules gently rubbed the inside of her cunt with curiosity as he had never done such a thing before with his other hand placed on her knee to keep her from closing her legs, hearing (Name)’s whimpers was a good sign that made the Greek god happy.

Inside her pussy was his index finger and her clit was gently rubbed by his thumb outside, the more he kindly played the more he heard (Name) whimper out moan more. Thinking to himself, he was on the right track Hercules curved his fingers and earned a dragged out moan from his beloved (Name).

“Well, that sounds like you’re enjoying it.”

Repeating the “come hither” gesture several times made (Name) feel like her mind was hazy and as she repeated his name many times. So much so, Hercules was finding it rather difficult to simply fuck her right then and there. Aroused would be the right word to use as Hercules pleased his (Name) with thick fingers and healthy veins was enough to please any woman.

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before-“

“I haven’t, but it won’t be my last. You’re getting really wet, (Name).”

Not able to finish her sentence as Hercules had curved his finger once more, followed by Hercules answering her question as his beautiful blue eyes never left cunt not even noticing his words were a bit dirty for the righteous god. The more this continued the closer (Name) was getting to her orgasm as he added another finger to please her, a total of three fingers inside her rubbing her gently as her toes curled as she played with her breasts that were erect.

“Do you think I could put my dick in you now? I promise to be gentle.”

Hercules’ lust that he didn’t know he had reached a peak and was getting bigger by the second. Agreeing in between moans, (Name) believed she was ready for the god of fortitude to be inside her and making things truly official between them. Gently taking his fingers out and replacing them with his well endowed cock made both moan loud simultaneously, (Name) from Hercules’ cock and Hercules from how tight she was.

Lifting her legs and wrapping them around his waist as his hands grabbed her hips and then proceeding to move his hips slowly at first as he understood it was (Name)’s first time and wanted her to enjoy it. Which was a good thing as it took (Name) longer than she what expected but when she was ready the shed was filled whimpers, moans, and dirty talk.

The dirty talk was mainly from (Name), but that was okay as Hercules didn’t mind as he was too busy fucking his sweet nymph as he had lifted her from the table carrying her now having her face toward him as he had no trouble fucking her still while standing up. Then again, Hercules wasn’t your average god and nothing was small about the god and certainly long lasting as time had escaped both.

Kissing, fucking, and love all mixing together into one moment.

Back arched with Hercules having a tight grip on her ass as he had set a fast and steady rhythm as the two kissed each other moaning for more of each other all the while (Name)’s wet cunt was full of Hercules cock, balls deep inside her as she felt like the god was inside her stomach at that point. The feel could only be described as a high, addicted to one another, sometimes Hercules cock would twitch excitedly as it was signaling that Hercules was nearing his end.

“(Name), my sweet. Is it okay to okay to cum inside?”

How (Name) loved when he asked for anything especially when he did so in a gentle and sweet manner, such an answer was easy as she told him between breaths a simple “of course.” Tighter (Name) legs wrapped around Hercules waist as his pace became rougher and his grip as well his hands never leaving her ass making (Name) moan louder.

One last thrust was enough to bring both to their euphoric climax as (Name) had completely killed the god of fortitudes cock as his cum filled up to the brim as she bite her lip and her eyes rolled back a little with her toes curled as a shiver went up her spine, Hercules did a few more sloppy thrusts before gently placing her back on the table. Catching her breath as she place her wrist over her eyes (Name) felt complete, then hearing Hercules yell “Ohhh, I forgot about Ares and Apollo!”

Kissing (Name) on her forehead as he then gathered himself while apologizing that he would be back later and rushed out the shed. Muttering under her breath about how she wanted another round as the nymph looked at her plants that were growing outside.

While on the inside of her (Name) felt the love between her and Hercules grow, and that is when it dawned her on that Hercules was never fit to be a sugar daddy because he too couldn’t separate love from the relationship.

Then, (Name) would be waiting for Hercules to come back home and give her some more love as that was the greatest gift of all.

🎊Rukia-Writes🎊

#hercules x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader

[sweetflanfiction]

Second Chances - Part 9

Universe: Read Dead Redemption 2

Pairing: Arthur x reader

Disclaimers and Warnings: If you want me to tag you on the chapters let me know! Also leave a comment with your thoughts :D Not finished, not proofread. English isn't my 1st language. All I know about 1899 is from google, so inacuracies will be plenty. The reader is on the older side, and identifies as a female. We're gonna meet a lot of people in this chapter, if you find something that can be done in a better way let me know!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

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They planned to get the cattle and go to the owner's farm. It was a simple four-day plan, but Arthur was jumpy. He knew how easily a simple plan could derail, specially with the help of some ill-intentioned fellers, that he knew lurked around the transport routes.

They left early one morning. Albert walking into his daughter's room, whispering something to her before leaving. Arthur heard you quietly mumbling something in your sleep. After grabbing the horses, they met with the others at, what he assumed was, the end of Captain's Corner. 

Four people sat on horses, talking friendly. Arthur's mind reminisced back to a time where he was part of something like that. As they approached the people on the horses came into better view and Albert shouted at them. The older man was greeted with a slap on the arm and wide smiles.

Doc Brant sat on top of a white horse, which Arthur found ironic. His pale skin was a little red from the already warm temperature. He was sitting straight in his hat, small round glasses on his face and a tanned hat decorated with dry wheat. Arthur hid a smile when he saw the small bee embroidered on his vest. He remembered when you told him Mrs. Brant wanted to start a honey or beekeeping business of sorts.

The two Everstons seemed to be copies of each other. The only difference was the fine lines on Bernard's sepia brown face. His son, Jeremiah, and him sat on top of two tanned horses, both bidding Arthur hello with a smile and tipping their hats.

Another man sat there, listening with a shadow of a smile in his face, which turned blank when Arthur approached. His hair was silky black, long, woven back into a braid. It had a bead string intertwined with it and a single feather at the end of the braid. He nodded at Arthur but distrust was evident. Arthur understood the wariness and didn't mention it. His horse was gray and spotted and he introduced himself as Blue Hawk.

Albert was riding Bread, a horse that was the color of bread, only becoming black at the bottom of his legs.

And Arthur was riding Gray, the horse he had taken to find Houdini. Although the stallion was getting less agitated and hadn't run away yet, he still needed to keep it slow and steady.

With introductions out of the way, the men rode to begin their mission

• ··········· • ············ •

On the way to the stock train Blue Hawk was quiet, listening to the rest of the group's conversation, much like Arthur had been. However, as time passed the rest of the men started to push them into the jokes and conversations they started. Both relaxed a bit and became more cordial towards each other. Every time any of them complained about something, Blue Hawk and Arthur would joke about living on the road and how the other were living priviledge lifes at their farms. Throughout the whole ordeal Arthur kept a watchful eye on their route, his colorful background becoming a helpful resource when spotting places that bandits could corner them. He was thankful for the quietness that followed the group.

At night he would ask to be the first to keep watch. He'd make wide circles around the small camp the men set up, eyes and ears open to any suspicious movement.

He did notice that the men weren't exactly nonchalant about their surroundings or the dangers of their trek. Both Albert and Brant had a rifle each on their saddle and would always be at the front or back of the convoy. The Everstons herded the cattle to stop them from wandering too much. Arthur was impressed by how easy they made it look. It was an art form, how they zigzagged around the big animals shouting at them and reminding them to stay within the imaginary boundaries.

That left Arthur and Blue Hawk to guard the side lines. They would ride together for a while, chatting about the land and the cattle. Whenever Jeremiah or Bernard needed space, they would break apart.

After four days of riding, camping and camaraderie Arthur felt more like himself. These people were pleasantly pleasant. They would bicker back and forth, and disagree on some subjects, and obviously everyone had their flaws. However, in general, Arthur realized, these people, they were good through and through.

All those times people kept telling him 'you are a good man Arthur.' , it only felt like a surface level praise. He knew he wasn't good, he had killed more people than he had saved and some of them, he would do it again. Good people, if they kill, they regretted it. So he concluded that he was fine. He was nice at the best. 

But now, seeing the way these 5 people worked, hell, seeing the way everyone he had met after his resurrection, as you like to put it, worked and dealt with each other, he felt like he needed to step up.

His past is in the past and maybe all of this was a second chance.

• ··········· • ············ •

The group ended their journey riding through Captain's Corner's southern gate. The moon was already high in the sky. As Blue Hawk and Jeremiah cracked jokes about Albert's back pain, something was heard. Right at the end of Miss Renoir's land. A child's squeal and then, silence. Arthur squared his shoulders and looked alert for 10 seconds until Bernard laugh.

"Seems like your place is the place to be Albert." He joked and Albert chuckled.

"Seems so." He looked at Arthur, who now had a confused look on his face. "All the roads lead to my house whenever we leave for more than one evening." He gave out an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, at least there will be dinner on the fire." Brant added and Arthur noticed the smell of roasted meat.

"Father probably gifted them a boar." Blue Hawk nodded smiling. "When I left they were preparing to go hunting. There were some boars in the forest trying to get at our crops." 

"We can try and get some chicken wire around the crops. I saw Mr. Thompson do it the other day." Jeremiah pipped in, receiving nods all around.

"I think that'd be a good idea." Albert replied in a rough voice. “If there is one thing that man knows, it's how to protect what’s his.”

The group kept their horses walking forward at a leisurely pace, until they got to the open gate of Graham's ranch. The closer they were, the more distinct the voices and noises were. And it was a strange, unfamiliar cacophony of laughter, squeals and a mooing cow?

When the front of the house came into view, he could see two small campfires nestled between the house, the stables and the barn. He could also see a couple of shadowy figures moving.

“Papa!” A squeaky scream came from the fire and he saw a small child, about the same age as Jack was, running towards the horses.

Everston senior jumped off his horse and knelt on the ground, waiting for the kid to come to him. She jumped into his arms and he faked a gasp.

“And pray tell, why is a fine young lady like yourself staying up at this time of the night?” He grabbed her small waist and placed her on top of his horse.

“Momma said I could. Just today, she said.” She answered matter of factly and Everston nodded.

"Right, of course. I take it your other brothers and sisters are up as well."

"Well, Georgie is sleeping but Grace is up." She grabbed the reins.

"If Georgie wasn't sleeping we would hear him right about now." Jeremiah joked and the little girl looked at him, her face scrunched with annoyance.

"He's a baby! Momma said it's the only way he knows how to talk!" 

Arthur chuckled at the girl, dressed in a striped yellow dress and brown boots, hands on the reins, shaking her head at her brother's comment.

They came closer and Arthur observed the event in front of him.

One of the campfires, the bigger one, was almost extinct. The roasted boar secured to a branch, already cooked. The other fire was more vibrant, the flames having been fed recently. That one was surrounded by an assortment of chairs, some of which he recognized from the kitchen. He also recognized the guitar from the office, plates, glasses, some books, and some children's toys.

Two women were sitting next to the more vibrant campfire, with the two family dogs at their feet. Both had buns on their heads, but one was curvier and smaller than the other. That was Mrs Brant. He could see the small glasses she wore reflecting the orange glow when they turned to look at them. The other seemed the same age as Albert, and Arthur assumed it was Mrs. Renoir.

A young woman walked towards them waving her hand. She was dressed in loose pants and a simple shirt. However, instead of suspenders she had a baby cradled in a bright green fabric sling that wrapped around her torso. He deduced that this was Mrs. Everston.

Something stirred in him when he saw the delicate head of jet black curly hair neatly tucked into the sling. It’s been a while since he actually saw a baby, and even longer since he witnessed a baby sleeping so peacefully as that little one was.

His eyes shifted to the horse pen where Miss Graham was slowly spinning around in circles in it, holding Dusk by the reins. On top of the horse were two other kids, and he remembered Albert saying that the Everstons had a few kids. Both of them were awake, although one of them, the younger, seemed to sway more than the other. 

He looked at you and saw your head turn to the horses that had just arrived. You smiled and helped the children from the top of the big horse with the help of the fence around them. The younger kid clung to you as you tried to put him down and you held him as you walked towards the horses.

Before Arthur could dismount Albert called him closer to him. The younger man tilted the horse in his direction. Albert grabbed something from inside his jacket and gave it to him. It was a thin wad of money.

“It ain’t much, but we divided it in equal parts and that’s yours.” He nodded and Arthur just looked at the money.

“I don’t feel comfortable accepting it.” He said honestly. “You’ve given me enough as it is.”

“Nonsense. You did your job, you deserve to be paid. Take it. Go buy yourself a new pair of pants. Maybe a couple of shirts.” Albert chuckled at him. “Lord knows my daughter is talented at a lot of things, but sewing ain’t one of them.”

Arthur reluctantly put the money in his jacket's inner pocket.

The duo trotted their horses to the stable, taking Dusk with them, while the others gathered around the campfire. Once the horses were safely in their boxes, they joined them.

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@photo1030 :: @sylum :: @marislittlereadingcorner :: @rratman :: @clevergirl74 :: @aureolinb

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #high honor arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfiction #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption fanfiction #red dead redemption 2 fanfiction #arthur morgan fanfiction #ao3 #fanfiction

[igotanidea]

The head boy and the troublemaker: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader Hogwart AU.

Requested : Yes, by my fav @somest1, I really hope you'll like it dear. Had a lot of fun writing that one.

Summary: What happens when two best friend got separated at the sorting ceremony? And when that situation makes one of them turn into school troublemaker? And what if said troublemaker crossed paths with the head boy, who's main objective is to stick with the rules?

***

From the moment she stepped through the Hogwarts gate, her life has turned into a cruel joke.

Starting from the sorting ceremony of course.

“You should really relax, sunshine. It’s just a formality. We both know we are ending in Gryffindor together, right?” her best friend since toddler, Derek Morgan grinned reassuringly

“Right….” She muttered, not being so sure about it. Not anymore. Even though they have been talking about how much fun they were going to have while at school and how much havoc they were going to cause, y/n courage were slowly dissipating.

“Come on, smile a bit! Remember the plan, we are going to be another Weasley twins! Live up to the legend.”

“That is surely an ambitious project you have there, lovelies.” A blonde girl, standing behind two friends chuckled “Oh, hi! I’m Penelope, but you can just call me Pen.”

“Derek Morgan.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“You know, Weasley twins are not the only legend in Hogwart” Pen continued “How about we make another golden trio? With a bit of gender swap?”

“Do you wish to be modern Potter or Weasley?” Y/N laughed lightly, but before the other girl could respond, one of the professors came forward and started calling names.

“See you on the other side of the hall” Penelope hugged the other girl “Possibly at the Hufflelpuff table”

“Yeah, no chance you’re stealing my best friend from me!” Derek retorted with a chuckle. Oh, those two already found some common ground.

Derek ended up in Gryffindor, obviously and Penelope got her wish come true when the sorting hat called the preferred house name after barely touching her head.

But for Y/N it did not go according to the plan.

“Slytherin!” the tiara called

Wait, what?! Slytherin?!   

***

“But professor!” the sorting ceremony has been barely over, but it didn’t stop Morgan from approaching the teacher’s table and causing drama “there’s gotta be a mistake! I mean look at her” he pointed at his confused and embarrassed friend “does my sweet girl look like a Slytherin to you?!”

“She doesn’t” Penelope chimed in.

“Mr Morgan! Miss Garcia! The sorting hat is never wrong and you have quite the audacity to even think differently let alone say it out loud “ Professor Krone (defense against the dark arts, ironically assigned as head of Gryffindor) spoke firmly. “Now. All of you will return to your tables and stop disrupting peace. Do I make myself clear?”

“No…..” Derek started but went quiet the second the professor reached for the wand “All right, shit, fine! But this is just wrong ! She’s not a slytherin!”

“Derek?” Y/N spoke before joining her house table “you’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?”

“Sure, not, sunshine.”

While Derek was hugging his friends both of them missed the watchful gaze of a specific third year focused on both on them.

***

Easier said than done.  The “not leaving” part.

It was no secret, than even though the distinction between houses  wasn’t as rigid as in the past, Gryffindor and Slytherin were still enemies. And can you imagine what could happen to first-year Slyth hanging out with a Gryff?

Y/N was quickly called a traitor. Too bad for her.

Now, you may think this worked both ways, for Morgan the same as for Y/N.

Yeah, right.

No.

Derek Morgan quickly became the Gryffindor favorite. No surprise with his boyish charm and wit and look. Pretty much everyone loved him and were ready to forgive him everything.  And he was also exceptionally good at making friends. In both his house (especially since he found out some  common interest with Gryffindor intellectual star, Aaron Hotchner aka Hotch) and some other (since he was still hanging out with Penelope). For some time he was trying his best to meet and hang out with Y/N as well, but as soon as the teasing started (somewhere in the middle of the first year) she practically begged him to cut down on it. Since then they were sneaking out to spend some time together. And it was from ideal.

And only then it showed up, that separated from her friend Y/N was the one to become a rebel, a troublemaker and the fright of the school, especially younger students.

But she knew he limits and always stopped before doing something so stupid it will result in her getting expelled.

***

Somewhere in the middle of third year, she had a first run-in with Hotch, who, being on his fifth became a head boy.  Thinking he had some special privileges coming with it.

As usual, she was sneaking out at night to meet with Derek, that part did not change, but soon the third person were to come in the picture.

“Y/N!” Morgan was far from happy to see her, the frown on his face speaking for itself. “What the hell are you thinking?”

“I’m sorry, what’s with the attitude?” she stopped halfway from hugging him, instead crossing her arms over her chest

“How long are you going to get yourself in trouble? It’s been like that for way to long, but this year? I don’t even recognize you anymore! You’re like a…. like a Malfoy!”

“What did you just say to me!?” she took a step  forward, punching his chest, her anger surging, the other hand instinctively reaching for her wand and only hurtful gaze of her friend made her stop “Oh my…..” she panted “Derek, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to….

 “I know.”

“You have no idea how hard it is to be hated by pretty much everyone in school and ….”

“I know.”

‘I just had to toughen up.”

“I know.” he assured grabbing her hands and rubbing them gently “but not like this, Y/n. Come on, it’s not you.”

“Do you two realize you should be lying in your own beds and not sneak around after curfew?” unmistakable, deep male voice came from behind and both Y/N and Morgan turned around.

“Hm, how wonderful. Y/n. Did you get a chance to meet our star head boy, Hotch?”

“I don’t really think so.” she muttered, taking her defensive stance again.

“I bet he can let us go easy, after all we are friends. Right, Hotch?”

“You can go, Morgan. I’ll talk to you later, but she stays.”

“I’m sorry, what? what makes you think you can order me around?” Y/N scoffed “you are not even head boy of my house. I don’t have to listen to you.”

“try to be rational about it.”

“Oh, I am more rational than you. cause from my point of view you are out of bed after curfew as well, Hotch.”

“I have a pass”

“You’re lying.” She spat and looked straight into his eyes.

Damn, he was good. His poker face and blunt eyes were showing no emotions at all. He was definitely trying to play with her mind.  But she was capable of that too.

“Honestly I have no idea, what you are even doing in Gryffindor. You have no courage in you. Smart, sure, intelligence, maybe, but courage? I don’t think so.”

“Y/n….” Derek just stood nearby watching his two friends banter. Eyes jumping from Y/N to Hotch and back the other way.

“What?” she spat again turning around “don’t tell me you are taking his side now!”

“Will you just calm down? I can make it easy for you or we can go the hard way. What’s your choice?” Hotch said with cold expression.

“Fuck you both!’ she cried this time really putting out her wand “If I’m going down at least I’m gonna do it in style!” and muttering some words under her breath she used the spell that covered the corridor in vines and the other that caused a little explosion.

She ended up in detention, obviously.

But her attitude definitely got Hotch’s attention.

***

The rest of the year were pretty much similar for all three of them. Y/N was causing trouble, Derek got into quidditch team and Hotch, well, he was pretty much studying for OWLs.  Spending hell lot of time in the library.

Surprisingly, one time, while being there he run into Y/N, who was just casually reading  a book, looking surprisingly peaceful and almost gentle. So different from the pose she was taking on a daily basis. And Hotch was slightly taken aback by the way she was focused on the book, flipping through pages and smiling lightly at some of the funnier part. For the first time he noticed how pretty she was. And then, almost sensing his presence she raised her eyes and laid them on his face. It was almost as she was staring right into  his soul. The bright, sincere gaze, showing her true nature apart from the rebel attire.

Damn, he was stuck. For a second.

After that, he noticed that her eyes were slightly wet, her right hand was trembling and she was slightly slouching. All of that being an indication of getting hurt.

“What are you staring at?” with a blink of an eye her calmness was gone.

“You took my studying place.”

“I’m sorry? Your studying place?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not going to leave…..”

“We can share.” He retorted calmly

“What? You want to share your place with me?” she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in confusion. What kind of game was he playing with her now?

“You seem comfortable here and I can handle it, if you keep quiet. I got OWLs to prepare too.”

“I know. Are those…. Are those really as hard as people say? I tried to learn some spells…. Only to mess around of course,  but…. didn’t manage to.“

“what are you even doing here?” Hotch came closer to the table and put all his stuff down, extremely curious what her answer would be

“It’s…. quiet.” She sighed, choosing to be open. “It’s nice to have some time for yourself to think about  ... things… And to be alone….”

“Without faking?” he asked

“Faking?! What the hell are you….?”

“I can tell you are not as tough and rough as you pretend to be.”

“You don’t know me!”

“Morgan talks a lot about you. Seems like I do.”

“Fuck, Hotch! You know what, let me give you an advice. First of all, you should blink from time to time, cause your lack of expression freaks people out. And secondly, stay away from me.”

Before the librarian kicked her out for disturbing the peace she rushed out the door leaving Hotch and his books behind. He was almost smiling.

***

Oh, he wanted to stay away from her, but she made it exceptionally hard by still disobeying the rules. And once Hotch got promoted to the main head boy of the school he was coming around her more often than not. Sometimes grassing her up, sometimes not.

But there was no denying that throughout the whole year of tormenting each other, they formed some sort of connection. And even though they tried to keep  it on the down low, Morgan noticed glances thrown at each other at the Great Hall, staring while passing each other on the corridor and the fact that Y/N became a bit less troublesome.

And one day he decided to confront her about it. While most of the students used the nice, warm day to hang out by the village green, Y/N took a stroll in the Forbidden Forest. Why not, right? It’s not like it was forbidden for the right reasons.

“Y/N! Wait!” he yelled seeing his friend disappear behind the trees

“What now?” she rolled her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Come on, stop with the pose. I know you missed me.” He grinned, his charm only growing stronger during the years “who wouldn’t?”

“I hate you.” she laughed and it was a sound he hasn’t heard for a while “but I’ll let you join me since you seem to want my company so desperately.”

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah? What is it?” she took off, walking the forest, watching her  every step carefully.

“Are you in love with Hotch?” Morgan blurt and the only response he got was a scream. Apparently Y/N was so surprised by his question that she slipped and hurt her leg

“Dammit Morgan!”

“I’m sorry! Can you stand up?”  he slightly panicked

“What do you think you idiot?! I’m bleeding! Because of you and your … your …. stupid ideas!”

“Stop yelling! Someone will catch us here!”

“Oh, you are so going down with me, Morgan. It’s all your fault.”

“What is going on here?”

“Great” Morgan threw his hands in the air in exasperation “exactly what we needed. The gamekeeper finding us in the Forbidden Forest. If I get expelled because of you  Y/N…..”

***

They did not.

Morgan was put in detention, for the first time in his life and Y/N ended up in hospital wing, bedridden with a twisted ankle. Once again, being the talk of the school.

And maybe those rumors were something that made Hotch visit her.

“Y/n. Heard what happened.” He walked through the door and sat on the edge of her bed.

“Yeah, the whole school did.” She muttered, switching sides so she wouldn’t have to face him. Morgan was right, she might have fallen for him and she did not like it. Unreciprocated feelings were probably the worst. “You saw it with your own eyes, you can go now.”

“ I’m not leaving.”

“Why not?” she mumbled closing her eyes, her back still to him. Honestly, she was worried that this would be the first time his face would actually show feelings. Pity, reproach, hatred “you are not supposed to be here.”

“Where else would I be?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere? Just not… not with me…..”

“Y/N.” he spoke calmly “turn around and look at me.” Shit, it was impossible not to obey him when he was using that deep voice.

“What?!” she spat, single tear falling from her eye.

“I …. Care. About you.”

“Why?  Why would you care? I’m the troublemaker! You are a head boy. It’s not…. It’s not right! I don’t know how and why I am still at Hogwart, I should have been expelled at first year. And you… you are going to work for the ministry one day and….”

“do you have any idea how many times Morgan and me got you out of trouble?”

“What….?” her voice broke a little “Why?”

“Maybe cause we…cause I… see more to you. I know what you have been through at Slytherin just because you got friends in other houses.” Hotch grabbed her hand and rubbed it gently, testing the waters for both her and himself. He was not used to feeling so many things for one person.

“I don’t need you to protect me!”

“I know.” he smirked. Aaron Hotchner smirked. “But I want to. And I want you to let me.”

“Let you what?” due to some crazy instinct she moved slightly towards him

“Let me care about you. Let me …. Love you.”

“No.” she shook her head “Please don’t say it, Hotch. Please don’t say it.”

“I feel in love with you.” he finally confessed. What he didn’t expect was that she would break into tears immediately, babbling absolutely incoherently.

“No….” she almost choked on her own words “No, you can’t. I can’t….. This is not right.” Her whole body was no shaking and it was a heartbreaking view.

“Then tell me to go away and stay away from you.” his eyes fixed on her face and it was impossible to keep an eye contact with him “just like you did in the library. Tell me you don’t feel the same way and I’ll leave you alone and won’t bother you anymore.”

“I can’t” she shook her head and sobbed even more “I can’t, cause I fell for you too…..”

Before she could break completely, two strong arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly.

“Hotch….” She sobbed into his chest

“It’s all right.” He cooed, rubbing her back “you’re not alone. You never were. I’m with you. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“I don’t…. I don’t know if I can go back to who I was….. I….” she hiccupped and he hugged her tighter in an attempt to reassure her “I don’t know if the girl you see in me is still there.”

“She is. And we are getting her out, all right?” he whispered “I’ll take care of you. Just like I did for the past three years. Just not from the shadows.”

“Don’t let go of me….” She begged snuggling into him.

“Never.” he promised

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds au #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch imagine

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/07/2023

Epic Flintstones

Season 1 Featured on: GilvaSunner's Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7: Part mm2wood Also on: Now That's What I Call Quality!, SiIvaGunner: Starter Kit & Essentials

Ripped by Can of Nothing, wolfman1405, MtH Ending Visuals by Dosh

Look...it's the 7th day of the 7th month, in the midst of SiIvaGunner's 7th Season - during a year with the digital root of 7. (2+0+2+3 = 7). Today is when the stars align for the funniest number on the entire SiIvaGunner channel, the funny number that laid the foundation for everything the channel would eventually become. I couldn't NOT talk about it.

I get the impression from a lot of newer fans, or ones who maybe just pop in every now and then, that SiIva's neverending obsession with The Flintstones theme comes off as a bit of a gimmick. There was a novelty to it in Season 1, when the bait-and-switch nature of the channel was at full force, and people genuinely got caught off-guard hearing The Flintstones instead of their favorite game music: In turn parallelling Joel's original reaction to "MARIO 7" instead giving him Flintstones music. But a lot of time has obviously passed since then, to where even during the latter half of Season 1 people were starting to realize that just hearing the Flintstones wasn't really all that funny anymore. Even just the name Epic Flintstones comes from an in-joke during that time, where people like Triple-Q would post it as a form of ironic celebration over hearing the same old joke as always show up again.

So if that was the case even back in Season 1's final months, that long-time viewers were even then not really finding the joke funny and even growing a bit tired of it...how has it stayed with the channel for so long? And why did a rip like Epic Flintstones itself land so perfectly as the end of Season 1?

In my eyes, its entirely due to the emotional connection that viewers formed with the meme, in a way that feels almost exclusive to SiIvaGunner. There's no doubt that jokes like Grand Dad became played out to some people, yet its a joke that stems from the very origins of the channel - it represents how everything began, the core, beating heart of the entire ripping team. The first official story arc on the channel, Season 1's SiIvaGunner: Rebooted, used this emotional tie to jokes as the crux of its entire conflict: It gave viewers a look into an alternate world where all the channel's beloved jokes were replaced with equivalents, turning The Flintstones theme into The Simpsons, Love Live music into IDOLM@STER music, and so on. In terms of comedic effect, all of these really worked just as well as the original jokes. Yet they weren't the original jokes: The emotional attachment the community held for Grand Dad bound viewers together during the story arc as we all prayed for its return.

Its this kind of emotional attachment to the strangest of things that really draws me to the channel, and codified me as a die-hard fan when SiIvaGunner: Rebooted came to an end. And its this kind of emotional attachment that gives Grand Dad weight as a musical theme, even seven seasons in. The Flintstones theme has become a sort of celebratory anthem more than a joke: It cameos up in just about everything, from big joke medleys like Rips Are Forever to full-on event anthems like The King for Another Day Tournament's Main Theme, as a kind of way to remind us in the audience of just how far the channel's come whilst still being the same.

Which, brings us back to todays rip: Epic Flintstones, the finale of Season 1. Through music and visuals, it follows Grand Dad's journey throughout the channel's first nine months, walking along its history not as a joke, but as genuine celebration. It's celebratory, bittersweet, and genuinely heartfelt. The visuals, sound, and the animation by the end - none of it is played for laughs, and none of it was met with ridicule. It was met with becoming the 5th most viewed video on the channel.

There's little I can say about Epic Flintstones that isn't conveyed perfectly by the rip itself, but what I will say is that it hit me in every way it was intended to. Though it didn't end up marking the end of SiIvaGunner as a whole, it was a beautiful end to the channel's original run, and a testament to the emotional power these silly memes have to us fans.

#todays siivagunner #season 1 #siivagunner #siiva #Can of Nothing #mellorine #wolfman1405 #MtH #rip visuals #Dosh #joel vinesauce #grand dad #7 grand dad #vinesauce

[yvtro]

Very much feels like a lot of people are ignoring Jason’s foundation. Like I think it’s important to pay attention to the later Robin runs for him. Felipe is actually I think an interesting place to start w Jason because it shows a wealthy, connected, powerful man assaulting multiple women, getting away with it, mocking those victims, causing one to kill herself, and there’s nothing Batman or the police or Bruce himself can do about it. That’s what Jason sees and I don’t think the comics touched on it as much as they should but I think it’s pretty clear that a lot of Jason’s motivation comes from seeing that. How do you say “don’t kill, they’ll get there justice from the criminal justice system” when the powerful won’t. And I really don’t see how “don’t deal to children” and controlling the supply is like. Anti-poor people? He has a different stance on crime, esp things like drug crimes, than bruce, who isn’t even from Gotham and is a billionaire CEO who had one shitty day in crime alley that apparently defined his entire existence. If you wanna talk abt shitty characterizations given the background of the characters, it seems crazy to start w Jason and not Bruce, who thinks he knows best and doesn’t do what he can with his resources to fix Gotham.

okay, first of all: i talk about jason and not about bruce because jason is my favourite character. i have plenty of thoughts about bruce re: classism that i could talk about, if asked – but i don't spend much time writing about it, simply because it's not something that gives me a dopamine hit. but if you're curious about my thoughts on bruce – ask me, and i will talk. but since here you're focusing mostly on jason, i will explain my thought process a bit further.

i do think that felipe's storyline is extremely important when it comes to jason's development of his own moral code. but i also think that people forget that what jay focused in this situation was 1. the victim 2.as you said, the fact that the wealthy and connected can get away with their crimes. thus, i think the most reasonable course for jason would to become extremely wary of that power imbalance and the way it corrupts people. but what happens with jason in utrh is not that: jason might say that he is after people who will find their way out of prison easily, but in reality his killing seems completely indiscriminate. his moral code is made into a joke. post utrh there are issues where he kills random goons (the anarky/batcat wedding storyline, for example), blames lower class people for engaging with crime (batman urban legends, if i'm not wrong; "a thief will always be a thief" or something along these lines, said by a man who stole to survive as a kid no less).

i'm not against jason killing per se; if he was a robin hood kind of figure, traveling around and dealing with those in power, if he even became a sort of revolutionary, i would be delighted. but he doesn't become any of these things in his comics. what he does is assuming the power himself and becoming an authoritarian figure. and i think, re: drugs, for example: someone whose mother died of OD should be socially aware enough to know that policing drugs doesn't really help the communities any, right? what helps with drug abuse is healthcare and prevention work, not creating arbitrary laws and targeting dealers at the lowest level of a drug business ladder. "how is controlling the drug supply anti-poor people" well, do you think, realistically, people in the community would have any trust in the person who controls the drug supply?

so, tldr, i think it's specifically the positon of power that i have an issue with. it isolates him from the people, it makes their issues into an abstract that he no longer has ways of relating to. it alienates the victims further. and it strips jason off his sensitivity.

since you mentioned bruce, i will say it creates an ironic situation where there's a 1% character who has more compassion towards petty criminals than a person who comes from that background. jason's answer to bruce's attempt at fixing the system is strikingly similar in some ways because they both conform to regular, uncritical perception of crime, retribution and rehabilitation. they both still work within that system, it's just that jason is more unhinged about it. and i don't know, i think jay should be more aware of the ways society pressures people to commit crimes, but also about how acts that are labeled criminal often aren't even inherently immoral but rather target marginalised groups. but no, the way he's written is just: head empty. crime bad.

i will finish this answer here before i get deep into strain theory, but i hope it makes my stance on it more clear.

#please consider that willis wasnt originally some sort of a villain figure #he went into crime because he had no other choice #and this is also what jay did as a child when he stole to survive #and the newer comics literally make him target the same kind of people #make it make sense #it all boils down to the fact that he assumed the position of power instead of seeking to abolish it #jason todd #jay meta #dc comics

[sketching-shark]

I was wondering if you like the emphasis on the relationship between macaque n wukong. In which it seem its more prevalent in lmk? We dont know what happened but considering how much its push towards us the audience then say the actual messy relationship wukong has w dbk.

Like in the novel we see so much of wukong interesting relationship with dbk n his family yet its seem greatly downplay in lmk?? Lmk sure do a lot of liberty w jttw but it does seem the brotherhood of dbk n swk is not as important. Especially when dbk n the other sages was basically swk first found family swk had besides his monkey fam n puti.

Like even dbk has his version of a giant monster form (just a giant white bull w sharp teeth) i cant recall but very few characters has that ability in the novel..it just well kinda off putting to see it b well put on a back burner when it can b put as like sort of foil for mk n red boy. Sorry if this became a little bit of ramble

No worries about rambling anon it's always fun to hear people's opinions about monkeys both mythological, real, and lego :). And sadfasdfsa I have joked before about how it seems Macaque wasn't content with stealing Sun Wukong's entire identity so he snatched the Demon Bull King's backstory too. But in all honestly (HATER OPINIONS AHOY SO AVERT THINE EYES IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ SUCH THINGS) I'm getting increasingly annoyed at the way Flying Bark & the fandom keeps shoving the relationship between Sun Wukong & the Six Eared Macaque to the forefront to the exclusion of like literally everything else in the lego show, especially with the way it keeps getting framed as yet another example of why SWK is a horrible person (monkey king is pretty relentlessly characterized as the guy who ruins Everything) even with this weird insistence that the two monkeys HAVE to completely reconcile and they HAVE to become each other's most important person ever even though SWK in all honestly doesn't seem to care that much about LEMH unless he's going out of his way to hurt SWK's actual loved ones & LEMH seems to have been so violently obsessed with SWK that he has literally no identity outside of his burning hatred to get one over on the monkey king. I've said this elsewhere, but one of the things that I really liked about the relationship between SWK and the Demon Bull King in the og classic is that even while they were obviously very important to each other and even though the shattering of their once rock-strong friendship is presented as a tragedy they BOTH have a lot of stuff defining them as unique individuals outside of each other. As you noted anon, Monkie Kid may have started with the Demon Bull Family as the central villains but it's been pulling away from that more and more & putting more and more emphasis on the Six Eared Macaque and strangely enough that does mirror some elements of JTTW in a weird way because og classic DBK and Princess Iron Fan wouldn't have even started anything with the pilgrim group if they hadn't had put out that fire with PIF's magical palm leaf fan; they're two yao who seem to have been pretty content to rule over their corners of the earth & not get super involved with everyone else's drama. Hell, DBK even calls time-out on one of his fights with SWK because he wants to go attend a party hosted by his dragon friends! That really doesn't speak to a yao who's all that concerned with killing SWK no matter what because of feelings of betrayal. Red Boy is of course a completely different story because he deliberately went after the Tang monk, & then everything that went down with him gave his parents even more of a reason to go after SWK when he asks for the palm leaf fan. But either way DBK was SWK's closest sworn brother and he does indeed get captured by heaven because he allows his newly-formed burning hatred against the monkey king to completely overtake him, but all signs point to him having a very rich and involved life outside of his relationship to the monkey king, and even in Monkie Kid he now seems much more interested in spending time with his family and improving his relationship with his son than in conquering anything or getting revenge on SWK. Personally I think that could make DBK a pretty interesting foil to LEMH in a kind of "dude who ruined his life because he can't/won't move forward vs. dude who almost ruined his life for the same reason but he's trying to live more in the present and is much happier for it" kind of way. And YEA hard agree anon I would love an arc starring SWK, Qi Xiaotian, Red Boy, and DBK that ends with something like "maybe we'll never forgive each other my once-dearest friend. But at least our kids can be happy in each other's company the way we once were."

Also yea it would really and truly be a massive L for everyone is Flying Bark doesn't take advantage of the fact that both SWK & DBK canonically have gigantic war forms that seem to be just as powerful as each other. Like come ON give us the gargantuan white bull with swords for teeth & the 3-headed six-armed monkey colossus!!!

#monkie kid #journey to the west #xiyouji #jttw #monkie kid demon bull king #monkie kid sun wukong #monkie kid six eared macaque

[brendleellipsis]

Brendle Battle Royale: A Rumination on Creative Endeavors and Community

Thinking about Brendle Battle Royale.

For those of yall that have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, BBR was the very first storytelling project that I actually completed. The format and structure of it takes a bit of explaining to do? So I'll try to make that brief.

(This line was written after everything else. Fair warning, i did not make it brief. I really tried. I am sorry.)

So, I'm a fan of this stream series called CPU Kerfuffle. It's a show where they take a bunch of Level 9 Smash Bros CPUs, give em characters (pink Captain Falcon was Captain Valentine, silver Samus was The Guy From Spy Kids 3D, etc.), and make em fight in a tournament. It was strictly a silly improv comedy thing at first, but as it continued, the characters became more fleshed out, the storylines told became more elaborate. It was basically a shonen anime consisting entirely of tournament arcs. I guess I could also compare it to professional wresting. I don't have much experience in that sphere of entertainment, but from what I can tell they scratch similar itches.

Anyways, the streamer that hosts CPU Kerfuffle has a discord server, and as the fandom for the show grew, more and more people joined so they could talk about the funny Smash Bros Show with people who understood the hype. And this alone was wonderful. It was honestly the first proper experience I got being part of a fandom, I started writing fanfiction for the first time, the whole shebang. And since the fandom was so small and niche, I didn't have to worry about any sort of fandom drama or insanely bad takes. It was great!

Eventually, on this server, people decided they want to do their own Kerfuffles. They streamed their own tournaments on Discord (and occasionally even on Twitch) with their own characters and their own elaborate lore, and eventually as more and more people hopped on that train, these "fanfuffles", as they were called, began to bleed into one another, with every fanfuffle taking place in the same shared universe. It was an honestly beautiful display of creative collaboration, of iron sharpening iron, of people introducing plot elements and other people running with them. Full disclosure, I haven't been able to fully get into fanfuffles like others have. Getting into things with that much happening is very difficult for my brain to handle, and to be honest, I wouldn't have even been able to get into CPUK proper if I hadn't gotten in on the ground floor. Still, even as an outside observer, there's a sense of beauty to it. Like... don't get me wrong, it's stupid and silly and cursed and for pretty much every emotional character beat you're going to find a shitpost or an inside joke. But, in a way, that's kind of what made CPUK what it was. It's improv comedy that, through the collective effort of so many people, has built a world filled with character and stories, and no matter how much I may roll my eyes at the particularly stupid jokes, I will always find that beautiful. It has the same energy as a group of kids playing pretend, or a group of friends telling jokes and stories around a campfire. There's a sense of warmth and camaraderie there that I will always cherish.

...I said I was going to make the backstory brief. I haven't even started talking about Brendle Battle Royale yet.

Oops.

Well, the point of all that backstory and feelings and junk is that Brendle Battle Royale (which I'm going be calling BBR for short) is a fanfuffle. But I did things a bit differently from other fuffles at the time. I wanted to stand out from the crowd in some way, and I wanted to be able to stretch my creative muscles as much as I could.

One of my first decisions, which... is something I'm still debating whether or not I regret... was that BBR was not to be set in the main fanfuffle earth. It would be an alternate universe, a little pocket dimension squared away from everything else. This was so I could do whatever I felt like without contradicting or messing with established fanfuffle canon. While the story that ended up being told benefitted from that decision, I feel like something was lost along the way. Like I said, part of the appeal of fanfuffles was the collaborative aspect, and I had essentially thrown that key part of the experience out the window. But, what's done is done.

The other decision I made was on format, the medium that the story would be told through. This choice was kinda made for me? Because I was, and still am, incapable of streaming footage from my Nintendo Switch, I just don't have the tools required to do that. So, I was to make a written fanfuffle, which is something some people do. They write down character interactions, describe the fights as they happen, that sorta thing. Not as dynamic and outwardly exciting as the visual variety, but still, perfectly serviceable. I also decided to write the individual episodes in a screenplay format, as another way of differentiating myself. I'd go back on this decision later for reasons I'll go into, but for the time, it functioned.

I also knew I wanted this to be quick; I did not want to commit to a large project that I was unsure I could actually complete, so I decided on a 5 episode outline, a miniseries, for lack of a better term. This story would introduce some characters, have some tournaments, the antagonist would be clear from the beginning, the story would happen, and then it would be over. Quick, nice, and easy. And so, that's what I did.

When making the first five episodes of BBR, I want to make it clear that it was the height of the pandemic. I had just graduated from high school. I was already vaguely unhappy then, and now I had nothing to distract myself from it. Writing, which was once a joy, became... difficult. Draining. And it kinda shows in the story I told. The characters are... fine. For the most part. There are some standouts that I still really care for to this day, but more than a few of them are forgettable. I'd also say the plot really doesn't seem fully thought through? I tried to capture the improvisational aspect of fanfuffles by pantsing more than I usually did, outlining less, that sorta thing. But one of the things that I lament about the first five episodes that I would rectify later on, is that there wasn't really that much of an emotional tether. Not enough time was spent with the characters just... being. It's not my best work, and when ever I think about BBR, it's often not about the first act.

It's about the following two.

Shortly after finishing my originally planned five episode series, I decided I wanted to do more. I had started and finished my fanfuffle and... around me, the others were still going, still enthusiastic, still having fun. I envied that, I suppose. So I went back to BBR, but I made some changes. Instead of writing the whole tournament in a single script and expecting people to read it, I would do each episode in a discord thread, writing out character scenes and commentating on fights as they happened. This was... a touch more difficult, to be honest with you, but it also helped me preserve just a shred more of the improvisational, spontaneous edge that fanfuffles have. People could also react to plot revelations in real time, and while this didn't happen too terribly often, there are certain moments that stand out in my head, getting live feedback from people mid-episode, that I still treasure now.

I haven't been getting into specifics about the plot and characters, and I might do that on another post if anyone is interested, but something that also changed in the transition from Act 1 to Acts 2 and 3 were that, now that I had established the major characters, I could move them around, in directions that I simply couldn't in the first Act because I didn't allow myself the time. The emotion tether that had been lacking from Act 1 finally manifested, and I expanded on themes that I had introduced in the first five episodes but never really explored.

The burden of one's memories and regrets, the pain that comes with being alive and being dragged from day to day without, the struggle to determine one's own identity in a world that is pulling you in a million different directions at once, the strange, paradoxical feeling of isolation, of a metaphorical wall separating you from the rest of the world. How even with all your strength, you can still be weak. With all these people surrounding you, you can still be alone.

It was truly great to finally have the time and space to open up and write truly honestly about the things I had been pondering for so long. One of the joys of writing for me is that stories are the means by which I communicate with people. I'm autistic, so verbalizing my own thoughts, speaking with people, even my own family, never came easy to me. So it's nice to have this sort of outlet, to be able to explore my own feelings instead of letting them simmer and spark in my own head. It's a release. And with BBR, this was one of the first times that I had shared that with others. I'll admit, it was terrifying, but it was also cathartic.

Brendle Battle Royale was by no means a perfect story. Yet again, by the time I had reached the end, it was quite obvious that I had run out of steam. I was falling into another depressive slump and I just wanted to get it done. But... at the end of the day, I finished it. It's a full story that I told, warts and all. And, to be honest? I don't think things are beautiful because they are flawless. They are beautiful because they're real. And even amidst all the silly jokes and shitposts, that's what Brendle Battle Royale was to me.

Holy shit this post is way too long what the FUCK-

#cpu kerfuffle #fanfuffle #Brendle Battle Royale #my writing

[ironwoodwizard]

Name: Ezra Cagney

Age: eternally 22 (actually from some sort of age of arcane prevalence, so who knows what his age is!)

Gender: Cis Male

Sexuality: Gay

Race: Tiefling (formerly human)

Appearance: fluffy red/ginger hair, hazel/yellow eyes, freckles, pretty face, slim build, dark red horns and tail hidden by a glamour.

Voice: light low tenor, has gotten good at mimicking a Texan accent; he could be mistaken for a native if not for the slight Irish lilt that comes out every so often. Most people just assume that the Texan accent is his natural one, and that the Irish one is just the nervous tick of a theater kid. He has a fair singing voice, though he usually only shows it off after a few drinks at karaoke night. His go-to songs are usually either punk rock or southern rock, occasionally classic rock, folk, or country.

FC: Trevor Stines

Personality: Charming, sweet, lonely, helpful, peacekeeper, honestly trying his best, seems shady at first but he’s really not, anxious and hiding it, seems confident but is actually awkward as all heaven and hell, loves a good stupid/ironic joke, dramatic as fuck, just charismatic enough to out-talk a devil without totally losing his shit, highly intelligent and nerdy, very intuitive, a bit of a show-off.

Powers/Abilities: functional immortality, fire magic, fire resistance, glamour, expert mixologist, alchemist, potion brewer.

Flaws/Weaknesses: hubris, holy water, extreme cold, binding contracts, lavender (he’s allergic, breaks out in hives), nearsighted

Nationality: ….American (for now), Irish (originally)

Languages: Too many to count

Education: An insanely long lifetime of various studies.

Style: dapper yet casual. Usually wears a black button down shirt, red vest, and black slacks. Red tie or jeweled bolo if he’s going to a meeting or event of any kind. He often dresses up for theme nights at the tavern, though he always manages to look as classy as possible. Wears black rectangular glasses, and a silver ring in each ear.

Profession: bartender (current), alchemist (former, recently started again), wizard (former, still dabbles), co-owner of the Heavenly Fire Tavern & Grill.

Family: long gone, unless found family counts

Backstory: Ezra has been in Morningstar for at least a couple of decades, probably closer to three. It’s both a haven and a prison for him, though far more so the former. He’d spent centuries on the run, doing whatever good deeds he could along the way, but when he finally found a small town that seemed to be just as weird as he was, he jumped at the chance to settle down for a while. It wasn’t easy. Between the prickly locals and the deal that he’d made for immortality, which he was nearly in breach of, Ezra quickly became overwhelmed. He bounced back, though, opening a tavern with the help of a friendly local mechanic through which he could continue his eternity of servitude in peace. Until, of course, he figured out that he could no longer leave Morningstar. The contract between him and the mechanic had accidentally bound him to remain in town for as long as it remained in effect, and while that did have its drawbacks, he honestly didn’t mind. The devil he’d (mostly) outsmarted so long ago could hardly reach him, and he had a safe place to call home where no one minded the fact that he never aged. Things were great! Aside from the local Chamber of Commerce being mostly full of catty and conniving assholes, Ezra could finally take it easy. Twenty years of peace. Twenty years of finally feeling like he could belong, of having a friend who felt more like a brother, and of prospering like he never had before.

When the old mechanic died, it shattered Ezra to his core. He didn’t open up the tavern for nearly a week, and only left his home to attend the funeral, where he met the mechanic’s grandson, Oleander, formally for the first time. He put on a brave face, much like the one the boy and his widowed grandmother wore, kept his introductions brief, and paid his respects. After the funeral, Ezra’s life became a little more bearable; he reopened the tavern and went about his days as he usually would, though he dreaded the next CoC meeting. It would be quite lonely and anxiety inducing to try and keep the peace on his own. When it finally rolled around Ez was a nervous wreck, but he was pleasantly shocked to see that Ollie had showed up in his grandfather’s stead.

Good.

They needed to talk if Oleander had truly inherited both family businesses, and the meeting would be a good icebreaker. He hoped. Ezra was quick to lay on the charm, introducing Ollie to the other members and trying his best to keep the wolves at bay. Despite his efforts, Ollie remained leery of him and the rest of the Chamber. It took longer than he’d hoped to earn just a little bit of the boy’s trust, even that was only gained because Ezra became a target for attempted murder and came to Ollie for help. He would never forget the look on the boy’s face upon seeing the fresh holy water burns, or the conversation they had as Grandma Rose patched him up.

Their friendship was soon forged in chaos and mutual aid, as they came together to root out and defeat the so-called monster hunters, and solidified when Ollie agreed to renew his grandfather’s contract for co-ownership of the tavern. It wasn’t long before the pair became well known for their arcane prowess. Townsfolk began coming to them for spells and potions, wards and talismans. It was practically something out of a fantasy novel, as if Ezra’s life hadn’t reflected one before.

#🔧 out of spells 🔧 ooc talk #🍷 alchemist and mixologist 🍷 about #🍷 if heaven and hell decide 🍷 aesthetic

[amoveablejake]

Album of the Week: ‘Can’t Buy a Thrill’ by Steely Dan

Stand out song: ‘Only a Fool Would Say That’.

At the very beginning of 2021, on those cold January days that seemed to be swallowed up endless downpours (ofcourse I wasn’t complaining about that) I stumbled across the band Steely Dan and fell in love with them almost instantly. I say almost instantly because really, it wasn’t the first time I’d come across the band. I had previously been given a ‘Pretzel Logic’ record that had been spinning on my record player a great deal but for some reason it never really clicked who the band were. I enjoyed the album seemingly in isolation. That period of isolation ended in ironically the lockdowns and Steely Dan became one of my key bands. Their songs being a fixture on my roster. I remember writing back in the early days of 2021 that Steely Dan were shaping up to be my artist of the year even at that early point and that 2021 looked like it was going to be the year of Steely Dan. And yes, 2021 was the year of Steely Dan but only to a certain extent as it was also the year of Vince Guaraldi, the year of Dan Mason and according to the Spotify Wrapped for that year, the year of Daft Punk. After 2021, I seemed to step away from Steely Dan and I’m really not sure why. I would still listen to the odd song but I wasn’t playing them all the time like I had been. Again, no reason as to why this was it was just one of those things that happened. And really, now, I am happy that is what happened. They needed to fall behind so that when I returned to them that reunion meant all the more. 

It isn’t often that I let Spotify keep playing once I come to the end of an album or a playlist as there is usually something else queued up but last week the Spotify radio gods delivered ‘Only a Fool Would Say That’ to me and from the moment I heard its opening I knew Steely Dan were making their return. Its funny, the last time I had ‘Can’t Buy a Thrill’ on all of the time, ‘Only a Fool Would Say That’ was by no means my stand out. It wasn’t really on my radar as ‘Dirty Work’ and ‘Reelin’ In the Years’ eclipsed everything else. I’m glad that this time around with the album there is a new track that I am constantly playing and being drawn back to. It makes the whole record feel new and different. It is nice that it feels different, that this is as much a rediscovery as it is a reunion but also I like that its the same ol Steely Dan record that I’m returning to. Their sound as a band immediately started to flow through me again as I melted back into this album and reignited the love for the band that spread throughout 2021. It was never as if they were off the roster, but maybe they did fall down the pecking order for a little while but now, you better believe they are back to the home plate and they’re hitting home run after home run. 

I am often finding new things that I end up liking quite a bit or falling head over heels for. New places, new books, new films, new songs and new albums that I can’t get enough of as they worm their way into my head. The thing is though, there are some other things that I really need to have with me all the time. They are the key things that help to make up me. I always have my notebook with me, whatever notebook that may be. I always have some sort of photo taking thing with me again, whatever that may be. Then ofcourse, there are some things that I am always returning to, books by John Grisham, the music of Eiko Ishibashi and daydreams of the mountains of Whistler to name but a few. I draw a lot from knowing that these things are there and by my side. Knowing that some things don’t change and keep on sticking with you to act as anchors in the day to day. Returning to Steely Dan feels a lot like that, perhaps I needed the time away from their music so that when I returned, I would realise how much they mean to me. I think Joni Mitchell sung something along those lines (that is a joke, please don’t get angry with me). When I said back in the early days of 2021 that the year was shaping up to be the year of Steely Dan, I was wrong. Oh so wrong. I hadn’t stepped back far enough to see that it wasn’t only 2021 that was going to be the year of Steely Dan but rather the future is Steely Dan along with the other key artists on my roster. My key lineup that having by my side means a great to me and Steely Dan are absolutely a firm fixture of that.

Only a fool wouldn’t say that. 

-Jake, a man very happy with the ‘Last of Us’ finale, 13/03/2023. 

[healingthelovewounds]

Sometimes the only way to forget someone is to write out everything that happened between them and yourself...

This person was my friend's brother. We never dated but it feels like we have so much history that whatever we had hurt more than any real past relationships I ever had. I’ll just call him K at this point because If I use his real initial then it high chance he could see it lol. If you’re bored then have a read of this doomed love.

We met in Primary school, never spoke at all really. I had my own friends and he had his own. We were never in the same classes as well so naturally he was NEVER on my radar. I knew he existed but he was just that weird, curly headed boy who didn't really care for the rules or was always in fights.

Fast forward to high school where we still weren’t really on each other’s radar. I was more focused on my school work in the first year. Again, we weren’t in the same classes for the entirety of the school year. So it honestly surprises me how he sort of just crept up on me in my last year of high school. I met his sister through a few mutual friends because she just transferred to my school. Immediately remembered her from primary school and we became really good friends. I was in a relationship with a different guy at the time so I never looked at any other boys or took notice because to me, the guy I was with was my first true love. It was however short lived, 4-5 months later. The new school year started and I was in my “slut” phase where I thought throwing myself at every guy would help me get over my first true love. I spent the majority of time with K’s sister who I got extremely close with. It was me, her, and 5 others. We were basically known as the party girls and everyone wanted to party with us.

 I noticed K a lot more when I would go to his house to hang with his sister. My younger self would not have thought this guy was going to be the one to hurt me the most in the coming years. He was my friend's brother, it was out of the question, he was still that weird curly headed boy who now smoked, did drugs, was always drinking and a bit of a loser. I will admit though, he was funny and had jokes so I noticed whatever he was saying more and more every time I was around him. Apparently this was the time where he “crushed”  on me and I never knew about it until I was in college so it always made me wonder what would've happened if he ever told me then.  Ironically, I remember the exact date of when I first thought, hm he's actually pretty cute and just what my type is. 

23rd of December, 2009. My whole friend group was at his house for a birthday party for him and his sister. Both of them had late Dec birthdays so we all decided to have a few drinks at their house. I absolutely dressed the part and still had some other guy I was giving my attention too. It wasn't until everyone was leaving and it was just us and a few of his friends sitting in the background. He just gave me all of his attention and to my oblivious eyes, I thought he was just being nice to his sister’s friend. Little did I know, he was crushing so hard on me and it annoys me I didn't notice until years later. After the party was basically over, I ended up hugging him and it lingered for a bit too long for just friends. He smelled so good and in that moment, I saw him as someone I could trust with my life. We never kissed but just the feeling of him touching me was euphoric. I’ll never forget the feeling and it was something I never felt again until very recently. So the 23rd of December is a date I will NEVER forget. I felt very awkward with him the next few days at school though so my dumb self, started to throw myself at someone else who I knew wanted me badly. I was supposed to be in my “slut” phase and going into a relationship would kill whatever vibe I had going on. It was a dumb decision but I suppose a neccessary one. 

K ended up dating a girl a few years younger than me for a solid 2 years. I’ll call her L. Actually rethinking this now, It was kinda sad of me to go and befriend her and have this cute sister friendship where I acted like an older sister and defended her whenever she needed it. I kind of wonder what K thought when I randomly did this. We did message each other occasionally because he was still part of my life since I was his sister’s friend. We never said or done anything that crossed any lines. I just thought of him as the cute guy who now had a girlfriend and was finally growing up. But what was I even doing befriending the girl a few months after they started dating? Keeping tabs on him without realizing? I really did love L though, she was the nicest person. I am glad we became friends, she was a breath of fresh air. During this time, I was completely going around with different guys, and even had a little obsession with a guy who left some definite scars on me but I told L all about these guys I was going after because I loved people knowing everything I was doing. Makes me sound so dumb but I thrived off people talking about me and living my best life. Now eventually K and L broke up, it was a bit of a messy break up, but I took L’s side so we were still friends for quite awhile. I didn’t hear anything from K for awhile and I ended up dating a guy from a different school for a few months thus ending my “slut” phase.

The guy from a different school did not last long I will say that but ironically, K messaged me out of the blue one night a few weeks after my break up. We were both single for once. It became a pattern where one of us was always in a relationship, when the other was single. It just kept cycling between us.  We were both loyal to our real relationships so I was happy to know he could be trusted if we somehow ever dated. He asked if he could come meet me and I wasn’t too sure because it had been so long since we really talked or even saw each other and I felt like I wanted to be alone but I ended up letting him come see me. I had this shed outside and we sat and watched a bunch of movies all night. We laughed, we chatted and not once did he try something on me. In fact, we didn’t kiss, didn’t do anything sexual. We just laid on the futon and watched movies and enjoyed our time together. I wish I could remember what we talked about but I don’t. I just know he was an absolute gentleman. The next morning, a friend and her mother came to come and pick me up so as we were both leaving, I didn’t really want my friend to know I had a guy over let alone the brother of our good friend. Unfortunately, they pulled into the driveway as we were coming out. K, then out of the blue, kissed my cheek and said goodbye to me leaving my friend stunned at the moment. I was stunned too. Nothing happened between us the entire night and he decided to kiss me in front of his sister’s friend and mother. I don’t know what came over me but I stopped communication between us when it happened. I couldn’t let K’s sister ever find out I let him stay with me. It would have been weird for all of us. Luckily my other friend said she wouldn't tell anyone what she witnessed when she picked me up. 

Time continued and I ignored K’s messages to me, eventually he got the message and stopped trying to talk to me. I still feel bad to this day about the way I ended all communication because I was scared of what his sister would do if she found out. Technically nothing ever happened, it was more emotional than physical minus a cheek kiss but it was enough to make me stop and take a step back. I still saw him at school most days but we never talked or hung out. He wasn't around his home much when I was there with his sister. Thankfully, I avoided any confrontation. I think a few years went by after that, I was in a new relationship, and K was back with L. I was still friends with L so she told me all about it. Me being weirded out, I had to back out of any conversation she made about him. I acted happy for her because I guess he was her first true love and I wanted to be a good friend to her. Our friendship slowly ended once we realized our friend groups were two worlds apart. I was always with my boyfriend's friends now and K and L were with theirs. It turned into another year when I received a message from K. I felt like enough time had passed where I could put our past aside and be friendly. We clicked easily again like we always did. We talked occasionally again after that. Never crossing boundaries, just friends being friends. I opened up about my current relationship problems and he helped me through the issues with the current boyfriend. It was months when I found out he and L were over again. I felt a slight pang because once again, he was single, I was with someone, a part of me remembering those times we just hung out. It was that moment when I realized I did like him a lot. There was just something always there and once again, I felt bad and I had to lie to him and say my boyfriend had an issue with us talking when in reality he didn’t. He even wanted to go and meet K because he was sort of helping him as well with our problems. I couldn’t think about K like that when I was with someone so I made up the lie and we stopped talking. 

Almost two years later, I successfully didn’t think about K while still in the same relationship. I was all in for my current boyfriend. Eventually as things tend to be, we ended on mutual terms. I was back with my girls and we ended up partying all the time again. K’s sister and I were pretty close and he was just always in the background. I didn't pay any attention to him. I knew he was single but that's all, I just wanted to be around my girls because now we were adults and it meant not seeing each other much or moving away. One by one, the girls all started getting into serious relationships and we all saw less and less of each other. K’s sister and I were the last ones left who were single. I ended up working the most and as everyone knows. You basically just lose all your school friends and get work friends instead. None of us girls ever really found a way back to each other. 

Somehow, K came back into my life. Out of the blue again on a random ass thursday. He just asked how I was going. I was single so when you have some history with a guy, emotional or physical, it always brings up memories. Natural talking every day occurred. This was when he finally told me he was crushing on me back in high school and during the time he stayed at my house. I took the opportunity to flirt with him, he reciprocated and we didn't stop flirting for months, probably almost like 8 months if i'm being honest. I was really feeling something for him. He kept saying all the things I wanted to hear. He dirty talked, and teased me over messages. We never called and talked though, he just preferred messaging. I got the courage to ask him to come see me one night, I wanted to finally have sex with him, kiss him for real this time and that's when things got completely wrong. He said he couldn't come see me because his GIRLFRIEND was next to him. I was appalled. I felt horrible, disgusted and I confronted him about it. He thought I knew he had a girlfriend. I suppose it was my fault for not going onto facebook and seeing his relationship status but he could have told me the first time I flirted with him. I felt embarrassed as shit. He wasn’t like I remembered him last time. I asked around a few old friends and apparently he turned into a complete man whore and was always like this with other girls. His girlfriend never even had a clue about the rest of us girls he was dirty talking to. I thought back to all the times I ignored him and went about with other guys instead, did I make him like this? Was the whole ignoring him, and acting weird around him after moments we had turned him like this? It still hurts bringing this part back into my head. It was the first time I ever had a bad feeling with him. I couldn't wrap it around my head. Why was he confessing he always felt something for me, flirting with me, sexting me while he was in bed with his actual girlfriend? I felt heartbroken for the first time in a long time and it wasn't even someone I was dating. What we had was always emotional and to this day it’s fucked my love life up alot. It didn't end there though. 

Another year later, K messaged me once more, this time being single. I double checked this time. He apologized to me. He said he wasn't himself back then and was trying to find his way back. I still felt bitterness towards him. He played me like a fiddle and made myself look incredibly dumb and sad. The moment he first tried to be flirty with me, I thought about the last time. Anger got the better of me and I wanted revenge. I talked to my friend and told her my plan to hurt him like he hurt me. She told me to go for it, he deserved it. So I did. I flirted back, and I talked to him every single day. For a solid 4 months, I teased him, with photos, messages, snapchatting him every chance I got. All the while I knew he was down bad for me. I was completely in revenge mode and told him the things I wanted to do with him, sexually. I bit the bullet and invited him around one night in July but when we got together, it just reminded me of that specific memory in my shed. We watched movies but this time, I caved in and we finally kissed, for real this time. My revenge plan was gone and I wanted him to devour me. We finally kissed after so many years of dancing around, one of us always being unavailable, or me running away. It was the most amazing feeling. I remember him saying “I love it when you smile when kissing me”. The night ended with sex. Wasnt the best sex but I was glad we finally did it. It was right when I dropped him off at his house was when I realized I fucked up. My revenge plan was foiled and I felt all the things I felt before for him. It was hard because my friend had given him a bad nickname  and I had to continue calling him the nickname despite me falling for the bastard's charms once more. I played this up for 10 months, I told him multiple times, we were just having fun and I didnt want a relationship and he agreed, even though that was the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted to date this man, I really thought we could have had a happy ending. We finally had a physical connection, not just an emotional one. 

It was the start of October 2020, and the past few months, we stopped talking every day, something felt off with him. I ignored it because we weren't dating. We’re just having fun, I couldn't be too attached. I was scrolling on facebook and noticed him tagging a girl in flirty pics and memes, I didn't know her at all. I was angry and confused, He never spoke about her so who the hell was she and why didn't he tell me about her? There wasn't much I could do, I couldn't demand to know who she was, he was single. So I sat there and sucked it up. I cried nearly every night, what did she have that I didn’t? Did she know I was having sex with him? It was then I realized he had gone back to his old ways. One girl wasn't enough for him, and it was perfect for him, he couldn’t get in trouble this time. HE WAS SINGLE. My dumb ass ignored him tagging her, and I was bending over backwards for him more than before. I tried so hard to keep the conversation going and our chats ended up being dry, he was blunt.  Near the end of October, I was once again scrolling on facebook when I saw a post I didn't think I’d see. “K is now in a relationship with…” My mouth dropped open, I felt my heart crack, How did he do this to me again? How did he hurt me again when it was supposed to be me hurting him. I cried for weeks over a guy I was never really with. I let myself be his little play toy. I stopped talking to him instantly, I didn't even ask him about the girl. I just left and cried for months. 

To this day, he mentally fucked me up, I’ve struggled opening up to new people. I’ve disconnected myself from everyone, I was once the social butterfly and I turned into the hermit who couldn’t leave their house. I recently found out he blocked me and deleted me on other social apps so I guess I left some sort of impression on him but he still fucked me up. I’ve slowly made the steps to go back to my old self. It's been nearly 3 years now since we last spoke but It still astounds me how this guy, whom I never dated was the only one to hurt me the most out of every person I dated for real. K is now in another relationship now with an older girl. I don’t know much about her but he’s apparently been really good with her. I’ve come to the conclusion now at 29, what we had was just toxic love and was never meant to be anything more but the thought still lingers, “what if I never ran away from him in the first place?” 

But I think I’m feeling attracted to someone I met recently at work. I’ll call him H. He’s really nice to me, we’re not facebook friends or anything yet, but he makes me feel better about myself. We make jokes and even poke fun at each other. I definitely feel some sort of spark between us. My friends are noticing that there could be something between us. I haven't made a move yet but obviously I’m still a bit scared to do anything due to old scarring. From feeling completely insecure about my body and entire personality, this guy has in a way, made me feel like I’m not ugly and that I can be loved. Who knows, maybe this guy can show me not to be scared. 

#heartbroken #but healing #finally healing #the one that hurt the most #emotional damage #doing my best #toxic relationship #toxic love

[noribruno]

La Squadra with a new young teammate! (headcanons)

Context: I've always liked figuring out what would happen if a teenager (gender neutral, around the Giorno’s age, which is a bit reserved) for some reason join in La Squadra. Especially, what every single member would think about it and how they deal with them.

PS: sorry for the repetitions and grammar errors, but it's a long post and I'm giving my best! Don't be rude

So, here we go!

Risotto Nero

First of all, he is the leader. Of course he’s a little worry about the new teammate, because of his age. He’s also a bit of curious about their background and why they decide to give their life to the mafia. But he doesn’t ask anything, he simply takes care of training them and making them understand witch are the rules they must respect. By the time, Risotto become very fond of them, as well as protective. Literally, I think that one day he randomly threatened his men saying that anyone who dared to hang around the newcomer for their age would be kicked off. Our goth dad <3

Formaggio

Formaggio is very exited and curious about the new member. He’s the first one who tries to be their friend and in general to approach them. He’s friendly and being around him is pretty funny, but the shyness of the young could might test him. Formaggio became in two seconds their big brother, but the type of brother that sometimes makes stupid pranks and inopportune jokes that makes no one laugh. The newcomer would be a bit of annoyed. But in general he’s a nice guy and for the new member wold be very easy to talk with him, they’re not scared or something. 

(YMCA by Village People starts playing)

Illuso

Most of all Illuso would might test them, every single time, during missions or in the free time. He wants to see how prepared they are for combat. I headcanon that he is the spy of the group, and when the new member was introduced he was instructed by Risotto to teach them how to ambush and stake out. Illuso took that opportunity. He always treat them as a dumb kid, but in his mind he acts like that for forming their personality (and for fun, but he doesn’t admin that). The newcomer is a little uncomfortable around Illuso, ‘cause they think that he hasn’t accepted them yet, but they don’t know that Illuso is just a chooky guy who doesn’t know how to deal with ppl. They will soon get that it’s not them the problem.

Prosciutto

Similar to Illuso, but he is more cold. He doesn’t accept the newcomer at first, ‘cause he thinks that only the eldest with more experience should be part of the team. He act like a rude mom with them, seems like he want to teach them how cruel is the mafia world and the fact that if you want to live you have to fight for your entire life. By the passing of the time he became more “soft”, maybe the newcomer has told to the team their past or the reasons why they became a gangster. Prosciutto is a man who takes people’s past experiences into great consideration, and this could help them to get closer. 

(Yeah he’s a sorta of Abbacchio 2.0)

Pesci

Like the new member, Pesci is really shy and from the start he’s gentle with them. With Formaggio is the most approachable of the team, and a sort of safe place for the newcomer. They became friends quickly, and they help each other for being more confident and brave. Pesci always protect them to the Illuso and Melone’s antics, with the results that he’s always ironically bullied for that.

Melone

OKAY, HE’S WEIRD, I GET IT. Melone is the more curious of the team. In general he's very polite with the newcomer, but most of all he want to stay around them for knowing every particular and studying them more closer. Risotto and the others has already inform the new member about Melone and his... weirdness, and they are a bit scared of him (I mean, who doesn’t?). The newcomer would give him a chance, but they regret when Melone confuse their friendliness whit an incentive to extract their dna for some of his business. Risotto scolded him severely for this, and Melone just stopped.

Ghiaccio

At first he was very skeptical about introducing a kid to the team, and for quite some time he was suspicious as well. The newcomer is a little shaken by his short temper, being so quiet, but they soon gets used to it. Ghiaccio is very pretentious and almost always wants perfection from them, but he has been told time and again that it is unthinkable. Sometimes he can be pretty nice, like doing them favors or sharing some of his stuff, but he always wants to specify that he still doesn't trust them (he’s just a tsundere you know).

#jojos bizarre adventure #golden wind #la squadra esecuzioni #vento aureo #jojo part 5 #la squadra #risotto nero #ghiaccio jjba #melone jjba #prosciutto jjba #formaggio jjba #pesci jjba #illuso jjba #la squadra headcanons #la squadra esecuzioni headcanons #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra di esecuzione headcanons #risotto nero headcanons #prosciutto headcanons #melone headcanons #ghiaccio headcanons #vento aureo headcanons #golden wind headcanons #jjba part 5 headcanons #jojo headcanons #jojokes #le bizzarre avventure di jojo #don't let this flop #plz #jojo no kimyō na bōken

[husbandohunter]

Mermaids exist in stardew, yes? So imagine a mermaid farmer for Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc it could be in Yandere setting or not. I just wanna know their reaction when they found out and how it’ll effect their relationship. Will it brew angst, love, or both

Part of your world [Genshin x Mermaid!Reader]{Stardew Impact series}

Synopsis: You came from the sea and he takes you through a journey of what it was like to live on land despite your differences.

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

"I threw in Childe because I had an idea for him xD It's fluff month so everything is going to be happy from now on >.>"

=============================

{Diluc}

It was a hot summer day when Diluc first found you lying unconscious ashore. You had just swam far and wide from the ocean world, the climate deemed unideal for your case. With no one else around, he took the initiative to help you out of your situation.

He shortly found out by the slight appearances of scales gracing your legs that you were neither a human or someone coming from the town nearby. As legendary as mermaids are, Diluc wanted nothing to do with you. His beginning plan was to find your relatives and send you out of his house (Additional work isn’t welcomed when he has so much already). However, you latched onto him pretty quickly since he was the one who saved you.

Here stands a human, a creature that you always wanted to interact with, in your perspective he may look a little stern but he must have plenty of knowledge to offer based on all the antiques he owns.

The only problem was that you two had no way to communicate. Different worlds meant different languages. Whenever Diluc told you that you couldn’t stay, all you did was tilt your head and whenever you tried expressing what you wanted to say, well, normally bubbles would come out of your mouth since they were an indication for your words.

He gave up on trying to kick you out and simply allowed you to take residence as long as you stayed out of his workaholic life. You would tend to his farm while he was absent on other matters and feeding animals in the barn (a lot to do but a win-win situation now that you were able to discover what it was like to live on land at the same time). Though you were also a handful, most of the time Diluc had to excuse himself from his desk when you thought the rake was some sort of hair brush and he forbade you from using the bulldozer. Quite honestly you caused him a lot of stress. He spent most of his hours teaching you and before he knew, it was already a habit of his.

The only words you knew were three words. If you wanted to eat you would say ‘fish’. If you were thirsty, you would say ‘water’. If it was anything else, you would say ‘Diluc.’

He allows you to take long baths since he knows how hydrated mermaids must stay at all times. Orders a pool to be built in his front yard (at least this way helps him save his costly electricity bills). Diluc also borrows books from the library museum for you to read, anything that you would find interesting, (mostly they were about alphabets and picture-based stories (it felt like he was raising a child).)

Easily gets worried when you step into town with him, he keeps a watchful eye in case you collapse and extra bottles when you need a drink. Most of the time, he had to keep an eye on you since you had the natural instinct to waltz into whatever interested you, such as dancing in annual festivities (which you dragged him along of course). It was how he grew attached to your presence because you truly knew how to appreciate the world around you when he himself was too busy to do so.

Two worlds merged and he was learning how to live in yours too, how you perceive things. Building sandcastles, collecting seashells, listening to the echoes resounding within them. Activities he thought were unnecessary suddenly gained the meaning he had lost long ago. Diluc grew too fast at maximum speed, trying to get as many things done as he could, until he was pulled back by the emotional waves of your kindness and compassion, onto the shore he failed to live on. How ironic reality can be.

{Childe}

Everyone knew how much Childe loved to fish. He sets out at sea every evening to capture a batch of flounders, hopefully stumbling upon a legendary one.

In a way, he did. Just not what he expected. What he pulled out of the waters seemed to be a human-sized fish sitting upon the other residues caught in between. ‘A mermaid…?’ he thought, still digesting the fact in front of him. (No wonder the net felt so heavy).

At the same time he wanted to take you with and sell you for a good price but knew how mad Tonia would get when she found out. So he lets you go free. The thing is, you swam behind his boat and followed him back to land. This was how your relationship with Childe started, to this day he continues to jest upon that memory.

Tonia took most of the responsibility to coach you about human life. One of them was table etiquette, before you ate with only your hands which caused a mess. Childe would laugh hysterically at it until Tonia reminded him, “This is also what happens when you use chopsticks, big brother.”

Teucer invites you to basically anything since you have so much patience. Childe shortly realizes that he was soon going to be replaced as the eldest caretaker and you couldn’t even talk at that time. So it was only fair that he included himself in the circle while interacting with your way of communicating: sign language (Surprisingly, he was naturally good at it. Though his movements are rather exaggerated and...ungraceful).

You were nice enough to accompany him to his fishing tasks and soon enough became your daily activities. Childe takes the lead as you follow him from the side, sometimes he lets go of the steering wheel and allows you to push the boat instead (he kept a note to himself that in your mermaid mode, your strength multiplied by a large number). Other times he felt a little risky and decided to jump in the ocean with you for a swimming session. It worried you immensely but your anxiety subsided when you saw how much fun he was having and for the rest of the time, you both explored what the ocean had to offer.

Childe used to be a fish-cook enthusiast. Not anymore (since that day you cried when glancing at the flounder dish he placed on the table). He had to stick to seaweed or any other plant-based meals with a little bit of meat but too much would cause your stomach to churn. Since his siblings complained at the sudden change, he had to make a separate meal plan for them. With a mermaid in the house was certainly high-maintenance indeed.

Cuddling with you in front of the cracking fire blazing under the chimney was one of the calmest moments indulged himself in. He often chooses the life where the waves crash constantly, anticipating a thrilling storm that comes ahead. But you were just a lull at the sea, the mediator he needed in times where his siblings needed a mother-figure. Sometimes he fears that you would leave him and return to where your true family lives but he was grateful that you chose him above all else. He was grateful that by chance, he captured you at sea. One thing he loved about life was the unpredictability the future brings, including the blessings. Even if you were a creature from far away, in your presence he felt like he was truly at home.

{Kaeya}

When the tides rose above his head, Kaeya was sure that he was done for. The surfboard he recently stood upon slips off beneath his feet and he falls into the ocean’s merciless waves. No oxygen, no time to catch his breath amidst the impact, his eyes were slowly closing and the last thing he saw was the sun’s light beyond the heavy surface, along with the murky visual of someone swimming in front of it.

Although he almost drowned, the idea of being saved by a pretty mermaid makes up for the fact (He has a natural tendency to flirt at anything eye-catching even if you were an outlandish being). You on the other hand was confused by his advances as you couldn’t understand a word he was saying, hence you swam away.

Those beginning days when you chose to explore the land, Kaeya remembers how much trouble you had with walking using your new legs. He had to hold both your hands while leading you forward, he found it rather cute when you tighten your grip the moment you felt that he was going to let go (he was only bluffing of course but you still hissed at him). Still, Kaeya ensures that you don’t fall to the ground, he catches you in time when you collapse while laughing, “You’re doing great sweetheart.”

In return you teach him how to read the ocean’s movements so that he won’t drown again. Kaeya spends more time around the beach since he knows that the water bodies are where you were most comfortable with. He tells you that you always smell like saltwater whenever he buries his face in your hair, perhaps that was how he grew attached to the ocean as well.

In summer seasons there were several days where you had to sleep in his bathtub because the air was so dry. As a mermaid, he had to tolerate many of your unique quirks, in this case he had to deal with showering in cold water since you took up all the electricity. Another case was your wine tolerance, no one could challenge you to a drinking contest when your body could sustain large amounts of liquids. Kaeya sometimes jokes if you could turn him into a merman like those in fairytale books so he can have the same experience. You take it as a joke while he was also being half-serious.

When you have to take a temporary trip home, Kaeya visits the dock every evening and waits for you to come back, trying to see any signs of your colourful tail. He glances at the ocean he grew to love, knowing where he stood is as far as he could go and anywhere beyond the boundary was out of his reach. So many people left him in his life and even though he knew you wouldn’t do the same, he still worries. Uncertain if you would abandon him too.

Your existence became the center of his life the moment you chose to walk upon land with him. Side by side, through small hurdles the seashore and hurdles as big as the wave that almost killed him the day he met you, Kaeya keeps them all as if they were the most precious treasure a pirate could find. It didn’t matter if you were different from everyone else because despite your tail, all he could see was you.

{Zhongli}

While Zhongli strolls along the sandy beach, he follows the alluring sound of your singing voice. You sat upon the rock while humming along what seems to be an old folk tune, similar to what Guizhong once sang. The man folds his arms and closes his eyes. Many years have passed since he last heard something like this, “Your voice, it’s very lovely.”

He was a geologist who worked by the museum, collecting different types of rocks and seashells that would wash up shore. You became very familiar with his daily routine that before he pays a visit to the beach again, a pile of interesting rocks would be waiting for him by the docks. It was a gift. And Zhongli would bring snacks like seaweed soup as an accommodation for your kindness.

Unlike Kaeya, when you couldn’t walk because your legs were too weak to be used, Zhongli helps you with every step along the way even if the trip was a slow one. He even offered to have you carried when he saw you were having too much trouble but you insisted on trying. The whole trip that usually took ten minutes was a three hour walk.

Even though he knew many things, your language was not one of them. However he was willing to learn. Both of you have study sessions regarding each other’s culture. For you it’s the way humans drink with cups because of Zhongli being a tea fanatic himself, he even showed you how to hold a tea cup properly. You taught him how to swim since he had been so occupied on land that swimming never crossed his mind. Thankfully he was naturally good at it due to his tall stature (albeit a little scared when diving into an environment unknown and different to him).

Zhongli loves the way you sing and he would ask every time he wanted to read a book. Either under the tree on a warm spring day or on the couch when it was storming outside. Although he intended to get some reading done, Zhongli can’t help but fall asleep. You didn’t want to wake him up (and you could carry him if you wanted to thanks to your mega-mermaid strength) so by morning, you’d find yourselves in the same spot and your lap feeling numb.

Earth and sea were separated for a reason so that the creatures may stay upon the place where they belong. That wasn’t enough to separate you from him though. Zhongli would travel to the sea to see you and you mustered the courage to walk upon the hard surface of land. The two were only parts of the world but together they are part of the world, connected to form a whole new life.

#genshin impact #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #childe x reader #zhongli x reader #diluc #kaeya #childe #zhongli #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #genshin #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #stardew valley #genshin impact headcanons #nya writes

[221bshrlocked]

As Sweet As Honey, As Tempting As Death

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Fem!Reader

Words: 18524 (holy fuck this really got out of hand)

Warning: Angst to Smut to Angst to Sort of Fluff. Biblical verses that may or may not be used in a blasphemous context. Incorrect use of a rosary. Dub/Non-con elements due to sex pollen so proceed with caution but just know that both characters have been pining after each other and that the issue is resolved in the end. Some form of voyeurism. Penetrative, Unprotected Sex. Dirty/Sweet Talk. Spanking. Hair-Pulling. Oral (female and male receiving). Creampie. Slight Choking Kink. Fluid Exchange Kink because Tovar is filthy. Overstimulation. Squirting.

Summary: During the two years with William’s company, Tovar has been nothing but hostile towards you, constantly remarking about your religious lifestyle and how ‘unskilled’ you are during battle. But when you get hurt trying to save him, Tovar reevaluates his antagonistic behavior towards you and shows you some kindness. Thoughts of him apologizing are set aside, however, when he finally accepts that he will never have a chance with you upon hearing your prayers. Things take a turn for the worse when he realizes that the knife you were stabbed with was laced with an aphrodisiac and that there is a chance you might die if it isn’t worked out of your system properly. Does he ignore your cries for him and potentially leave you to your death or does he aid you and live with the knowledge that you will hate him forever once you come to your senses?

A/N: This is born out of some sick part of me that finds it really hot and intense when one character is sexually frustrated and horny but is bound by their religious beliefs. I would say I don’t know what about this really specific “trope” that gets me going but I would be lying. I’m straight up projecting my own thoughts on this fic and I do apologize if this offends anyone’s beliefs. Hell, it offends my own beliefs but- like, there is no going back. Please let me know how I am doing in the comments. Thank you and enjoy. This is not beta’d and I apologize for any mistakes you find. I just really wanted to post this fic so I’ll go back in later to correct them.

With each passing day, the roughness became a little hurtful, a little more unbearable. But with each insult and passing grumble, you had to remind yourself that life wasn’t fair to everyone, and certainly not to him. It has been almost two years since you’ve joined William’s company and you would have brought it up to him had you been assured that a certain Spaniard wouldn’t bite your head off at the sentimentality. A deep sigh escaped your lips before you could control it and you shut your eyes in an attempt to drown out the deep, sarcastic chuckle emanating from the man behind you. 

“Already tired princesa? Should we stop for the night to allow your highness to rest?” Tovar murmured something beneath his breath and you were sure he was only continuing with his insults in his mother tongue so William wouldn’t warn him again. You, on the other hand, had to bite your lip to refrain from pouting at the snarky comment. The last thing you wished was for Tovar to see your hurt. Not that he would care.

You kicked your horse to slow down and turned the other way just as Tovar passed you, ignoring the way he looked at you as you fell in step with another mercenary, one who’s only been with your group for a month. You smiled at him and nodded when he asked you how you were doing, politely excusing yourself as you looked down at the small book falling apart at your touch. Your eyes scanned the small pages of the Bible, and you prayed for guidance when you sensed a pair of angry eyes throwing imaginary daggers at you from ahead. 

As the sun set deeper into the sky, you helped William set up camp and ignored the teasing remarks Tovar continued to throw your way. The Irishman noticed how hard you were trying to ignore his old friend while also working on the tent and he instantly came to your aid and whispered a joke to you, not shying away from looking at his friend when your laughter rang through the forest. William watched as Tovar narrowed his eyes at him before cursing the two of you as he left to keep watch for the night. When everything was as it should be, you walked around with water and ensured that everyone was hydrated. You were standing with the newest member of the company, Thomas, asking him if he needed anything before you turned in for the night. He shook his head but held onto the wineskin, reluctantly turning towards Tovar before meeting your eyes.

“Would you prefer it if I bring it to him?”

“Thank you Thomas but that won’t be necessary. I’ll take it to him.” You held out your hand and waited patiently for the young man to give it to you, smiling at him and moving to walk past him when he held out his hand and grabbed your arm.

“Why do you not meet him with similar hostility?” You hadn’t expected for him to ask you such a question, and you know very well that Tovar could most certainly hear you when a few leaves broke underneath his feet as he tried to subtly move closer. 

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” You tilted your head to the side and smiled at Thomas before patting his shoulder. “Good night Thomas. Make sure you get enough rest.” You didn’t wait for an answer, turning away and heading towards the tree bark where Tovar was standing. You prayed that he would accept the drink and not create any problems but as soon as you looked up and saw the way he was looking down at you, you knew it wouldn’t be so simple. It never was with him.

“Good evening Tovar, would you like some w-” You aren’t able to finish your question because Tovar instantly cut you off with a growled order, spitting down to prevent you from coming closer to him. 

“¡Váyase!” It’s not the first time Tovar yells at you to leave him alone, and you’re sure it won’t be the last, but you swallow whatever you wish to tell him as you nod and leave the wineskin at the roots of the tree. You step away from him without once meeting his eyes and Tovar is sure you won’t say anything else so he looks down at the water you left him only to find you turning around and meeting his gaze head-on.

“Buenas noches.” You offer a smile that Tovar knows is forced and conveys no warmth or affection and he clenches his jaw when he sees you return to sit next to William near the fire. He watches the two of you interact for another moment before he turns around and stabs the tree with his knife. 

“Mierda.” 

Your eyes seek Tovar a few more times throughout the night before you move to your tent, and you ignore William’s teasing remarks when he catches you looking longingly at the grumpy Spaniard just before entering into your shelter. 

“It is a bit ironic isn’t it?” William asks as he moves towards his own tent and he offers a supportive smile when you shrug and look at your feet shyly. 

“Things would be a lot easier if we had control over whom our hearts choose.” You nod at him before bidding him a good night and moving into the safety of your tent. You take a few deep breaths and remove your weapons from your person, setting them down beneath your blankets as you bring your Bible out of your pocket once more to recite your nightly prayers. 

You were never one to question God’s decisions but if there ever came a time when you would, it would be now. You wanted nothing more than to know why Tovar couldn’t stand the sight of you. William assured you early on that it took a while for Tovar to warm up to new mercenaries they met along the road but it was completely different with you. What started out as whispered remarks about your abilities became loud and shameless insults about, not only your lack of skills, but your way of life as well. You weren’t sure if it was you that he hated or your religion, and it didn’t come to matter anyway because in the end, he would need to deal with his maker, not with you. 

But as much as you prayed for guidance and begged for patience, it seemed that the Almighty was electing to leave you on your own when it came to dealing with the man that was Pero Tovar. And no matter how hard you asked for Him to allow your heart to close towards the Spaniard, your prayers were never answered. Instead, you were left with a gaping hole in your heart that you came to realize would only be filled if the man who hated you with every ounce of his being learned to love you. It was a humorous thought and you shook your head at the wishful thinking before turning off the candle you always kept with you.

A few hours later, you wake up heaving and sweating, hands instantly grabbing for the sword beneath the pillow when you hear someone call for you from outside the tent. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, it takes you a few moments to recognize who was standing not five feet away from you.

“It’s your watch princesa...unless you want Th-”

“I’ll- I’ll be out in a minute.” You cut him off and flinch when you hear how hoarse and broken your voice sounds. It takes Tovar a few seconds to respond and you manage to hear a quick ‘bueno’ before he’s moving away. Moving around the tent, you quickly find your coat and put it on, grabbing your weapons and the small book near your pillow before moving out of the tent. You spot Tovar sitting near the fire but elect to say nothing, walking towards one of the water basins and throwing some across your face to freshen up before moving past him to where you would keep watch. Tovar bit harshly into the bread and couldn’t hold back from following your every move, his eyes sweeping over your form and landing on your backside. He barely managed to keep his moan quiet, his mind running away with thoughts of taking you over and over again until you only remembered his name. Until you couldn’t walk without feeling him on every inch of your skin.

He shuts his eyes and tries to remember how you sounded not ten minutes ago when he came to wake you. He could vaguely hear you whimpering inside your tent and almost came in to make sure you weren’t in danger. But he wouldn’t, couldn’t even if he tried. He had no right to do so. And then you spoke so heavily and he almost lost his bearings because he now knew what you sounded like just as you woke up. And he was certain your little sighs and moans would haunt his dreams in the coming nights. 

As if you hadn’t plagued his mind enough for the past two years.

The moon was still illuminating the night sky when Tovar woke up from his slumber and he walked away from the company to try and have some privacy, afraid he would give away his heart’s desires should he remain near the fire and continue to look at you. His ears pick up a faint sound coming from the edge of the trees and he takes his sword out as he approaches the voice, only to find you kneeling down on the floor with your own weapons attached to your back. For a moment, Tovar couldn’t breathe, his eyes taking in your beauty as your eyes remained shut and your lips moved softly. It took him a few more moments to notice the tears rolling down your cheeks and his frown grew when he realized that someone must have said something to you. He sheathed his sword away and was about to announce his presence when he finally heard what it was you were saying. One look at the book in between your knees and his anger came back a hundred fold. Of course you were praying. Tovar shook his head and was about to leave when he registered the words falling from your lips.

“I am weary with my groaning, all night I make my bed swim.” Tovar hisses beneath his breath as his mind conjures up images of your hands twisting your nipples and fingering your tight cunt while he watches you bring yourself to pleasure and drench the covers with your juices. He swallows the lump in his throat when you continue to pray and call for your God. 

“I drench my couch with my tears, my eye wastes away because of grief. It grows old because of all my enemies.” You’re sniffing through broken words and Tovar hates himself for growing hard at the sight of you. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking of you in such a way, especially during this intimate moment. Lord knows the blasphemous thoughts he has are enough to bring him to the depths of hell, but here he was, cupping himself through his breeches as you prayed your psalms and asked for guidance. There was no forgiveness for him, not now, not ever.

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help? My- my help comes from the L-Lord, who made heaven and- and, oh god, and earth. Please God, I beg for your forgiveness. The Lord is your keeper...the- the Lord is your shade at your right hand...the sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon- nor the moon by night. Christ, have mercy on me please. I do not mean to have such vile, unholy thoughts...it is not my- intention to...to act upon my dreams. Please, God...preserve my soul.” Tovar’s ears perk up at the sudden shift in your prayers and he maneuvers himself around with stealth to take a better look at you. 

And the twisted, sick part of him swears in gratitude for catching you at such an hour because he’s never seen a more beautiful sight than you in this moment, on your knees, hands clasping at your chest, eyes filled with unshed tears, and breasts heaving with neediness. 

You were magnificent. 

“Lord, I know you can hear me. Please, answer my prayers. I know...for the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep me from doing the things I want to do. Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. I have allowed Satan to make a home in my heart, I- I cannot...I am unable to fight him without your help. For-forgive me...forgive me.” Tovar’s eyes widened in surprise when he heard you, his heart threatening to escape his chest when your words finally sank into his mind. There was no mistaking the implications behind your words. You were having unholy thoughts of a man, and you were asking your God to forgive you for wanting someone. For wanting to be intimate with someone. 

But then Tovar recalled your interactions with Thomas and William, and his heart grew heavy with anger because it wasn’t him you were thinking of. It couldn’t have been him. He’d managed to drive you away, and now you were thinking of someone else worshiping you, kissing you, touching you, perhaps even laying with you and coaxing the sweetest of sounds from your lips.

“My spirit...do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.” With those words, Tovar leaves you and returns to the camp, unable to listen to any more of your confessions, especially when he knew they were aimed towards someone else. He recalled what you said last and swore to himself, because he would never...could never tempt you to break your own religion, your sanctity. There were countless times where he wished he could reveal to you his feelings but tonight’s prayers reminded him why he will never have you the way he wished. It was not out of fear of, what was it, God’s destruction, but out of care for your own being, your soul. He cared for you too much.

It’s hours later when the company is moving closer to the city and you focus on the road ahead of you to try and ignore the way your heart skips a beat when you hear Tovar’s soft chuckle at one of William’s stuipd jokes. It was amazing how only the Irishman managed to make him laugh and you wished you could hear it more often but it was not possible and certainly not beneficial to you. You were snapped out of your thoughts when William called for you and asked you to slow down.

“You are sure he is in the next town over?” William inquired after the bounty you were currently looking for, a man who stole one of the local lord’s shipments that arrived from the Near East and was now recruiting more thieves to keep him safe. You took out the note which your contact sent you and showed it to William, about to suggest how you should carry out this bounty when Tovar snatched the paper from your friend’s hands to read it over before throwing it haphazardly his way.

“I would love to know how you came about this information princesa? What did you give your little amigo? Gold, or perhaps it was that honey you searched for everywhere, sí? Or maybe, just maybe...it was something far sweeter than honey.” Tovar knew he shouldn’t be taunting you any further, and certainly not with implications about your sanctity. Thankfully, William snatched the wineskin from your horse and smacked Tovar in his face, growling at him something in Spanish that caused Tovar to look to the side and frown at the floor. 

“I do apologize Y/N. You were saying?”

“I- umm, there was a...my God, I am sorry. The only thing I wished to suggest was to perhaps catch them outside of town so we wouldn’t cause any serious damage to anyone’s home or business. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” And with that, you squeezed the sides of your horse so he could gallop ahead and once you thought you were far enough, you took out your prayers and flipped through the pages. 

Tovar grudgingly followed you to try and apologize for his hurtful comments when he saw you praying again. 

“Lord, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God.” But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill...I- I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around. Save me, O my God.” You turn your head around when you feel a pair of eyes watching you, shaking your head when you find Tovar and William making plans while the rest of the company follow behind. No, he didn’t care.

“Why have you not apologized to her?”

“She was praying amigo, I- I cannot distract her when she...when she is having her moment with her God.” Tovar murmures and ignores the sarcastic laugh that erupts from his friend’s mouth.

“You truly are a piece of shit work Tovar. If you care for her this much, why not tell her? Or better yet, stop acting like an imbecile and treat her with kindness. Lord knows she’s too nice with you.”

“Mind your business, sí? You know nothing of what you speak.” Tovar warns his friend with a glare before he kicks his horse and races forward past you and the other men, not caring of how he’d managed to give himself away to William. You look up from your book just in time to see him swiftly moving past you and you’re worried for a moment, turning around to gauge William’s reaction, only to find him avoiding your gaze and pretending to focus on the trail ahead. 

The company reaches the edge of town long before noon and you listen to William as he lets everyone know of the plan. When everyone is sure of their position and part, you go with William and Tovar to the innkeeper and inquire after men that could offer their aid to you since you are to travel throughout the night by yourself and have heard of stories of bandits around these parts. As you wait around for an hour or so, Tovar can’t help but glance at you nervously, a part of him trying to come up with something to tell you that wasn’t filled with venom. You catch his eyes a few times and he turns away when you smile awkwardly at him, ignoring the way William rolls his eyes and nudges him. 

“I do not think they will come.” Tovar comments to himself and you are about to reassure him when you spot the man in question heading your way along with what you assumed were his new recruits.

“Greetings friends, and what a beautiful afternoon to you, my lady.” The man doesn’t give you a chance to step away from him, leaning down and taking hold of your hand before bringing it to his lips. You force a smile and nod towards him, completely missing the way Tovar was mentally killing the disgusting thief with a thousand daggers. 

“We understand you require assistance traveling through here?” The man speaks, his eyes occasionally turning towards you and shamelessly dragging over your figure. You pretend to not notice his actions and clutch the weapon around your back more tightly. 

“We do indeed. And we are willing to pay handsomely. The only problem is, we must leave now if we are to catch our employer before he leaves for his travels.” William speaks his lies with ease and you silently pray that the other men are as dumb as they look.

“And may I ask why your schedule is hurried?” The thief’s voice is much harsher and he stares between the three of you quizzically. 

“It’s quite embarrassing if I do say so myself but,” you gulp before stepping towards Tovar, intertwining your fingers with him before leaning forward and kissing his cheek. You feel Tovar’s hold tighten around your hand but you say nothing, instead throwing your head on his shoulder and wrapping your other palm around his hand as well. “It is slightly my fault...you see, we- oh god, we were wed three weeks ago and our wedding night lasted for- l-longer than we intended. I should say longer than I intended. And we realized too late how much time we lost so- so this is why we need to leave right immediately.” It takes every ounce of control in William not to laugh at the look on his friend’s face and he maintains a neutral expression when the men in front of him glance towards each other and blush.

Tovar, on the other hand, wishes for God to strike him down this instant because you are not only holding onto his rough hands, but you kissed him without thought. It’s embarrassing how hard he is quickly becoming underneath his clothes but the way your lips touched his scruffy cheeks caused his heart to skip a beat. He tried his hardest to rid you out of his thoughts but here you were, pretending to trip over your words as you lied to the men in front of you about how much time he supposedly spent between your thighs.

“Lucky man,” Tovar hears the man whisper to him as he winks and he’s one moment away from taking out his sword and swinging it. But then you’re raising his hand to your lips and kissing his knuckles and Tovar all but loses it. Against his better judgement, he turns to look at you and gulps when he finds you smiling up at him with a dangerous glint in your eyes, one that is filled with false hope and wishful promises. His nose flares when he sees you staring deeply into his brown orbs and he instantly turns away, not because he is afraid of you seeing how darkened his pupils became at your touch but because he refuses to see rejection on your expression when you finally notice how hideous he is, how disgusting the scar on his eye must appear up close. 

“Well then, in that case, lead the way, sir-?”

“Oh no sir, my name is William.” William cuts him off and turns to the two of you. 

“And I am Y/N, and this here is the love of my life, Pero Tovar.” You cheerfully respond and ignore the way Tovar clings onto your fingers. He forces a quick smile before he walks behind William, all the while trying to pretend he isn’t losing his soul to the touch of your soft skin on his. He quickly glances at you, his jaws tensing tightly when he finds you completely ignoring him and pretending to look elsewhere.

You can feel the anger shedding off of Tovar and you hope he wouldn’t completely bite your head off when you are alone again. But more importantly, you pray to God that he doesn’t feel your pulse because if he could, then he would know. He would know of everything, of your feelings towards him, of your desires, and finally, of how much you wished you had his last name. William looked towards the two of you a few times and decided to keep quiet until after this ordeal was finished. One glance at the way you refused to let go of his friend’s hands and he knew you were as much in love with Tovar as he was with you.

“Idiots.” William whispers to himself just as he reaches the edge of the forest. He motions with his hand as soon as he spots the three horses tied to the trees and you let go of Tovar’s hands to let the men know that you have arrived. Tovar clenches his fist tightly, already missing the touch of your palm against his own and how safe he felt with you at his side. He clears his throat and walks awkwardly towards the horses, pretending to check on the pouches hanging around. 

“Oh lovebirds, you should have stayed on your honeymoon.” Your smile falters as soon as the man and his friends remove their weapons and surround you. Turning around, you catch Tovar's eyes before he’s running towards you, his sword in one hand and his expression holding a thousand emotions. William whistles from behind you and you immediately hear the faint sounds of horses galloping through the woods. Unsheathing your daggers from their holsters, you plant your feet to the ground and dare one of the men to come forward. 

By the time the rest of the company arrives, you’ve already killed two of the men and are finding it difficult by the moment to fight the one in front of you. There were more of them than there were of you, something you hadn’t anticipated when you accepted this bounty. You’re trying your hardest not to get distracted but it has been a while since you’ve seen Tovar fight and as much as you hate to admit it, he looks absolutely breathtaking, with his eyes full of rage and his lips glistening from sweat and from how hard he’s biting them. 

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not w-want. He makes me lie down in green- green...GOD, green pastures. He leads me besides the still waters. He- he...William watch out- he restores my soul, he leads me in the paths of righteousness. For His name’s sake.” You’re reciting your prayers to ground yourself, swearing when you throw one of your daggers towards one of the men about to attack William from behind. You’re still trying to hold off one of the larger thieves from killing you when you spot the main bounty treading towards Tovar with a large dagger of his own. 

“No, Tovar!” You’re not thinking clearly as you manage to slit your attacker’s throat before running towards Tovar in time to catch the sharp edge of the weapon into your shoulder. Falling back onto the ground, you look up at the man and find him smiling disgustingly at you, already bringing out his other sword as he chases after you. You can’t find it in yourself to stand up and look away, silently praying to God in anticipation of what’s to come. 

“Yea, though I walk through the- the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with m-me. Your rod and...and- Your staff, oh God...they comfort me.”

But nothing ever happens and you reluctantly look up in time to see Tovar holding a knife to the man’s throat. 

“Drop the knife amigo, or I will make you taste your own blood.” Tovar snarls out, all the while looking at you with something in his eyes that you're not quite sure of. The man listens to Tovar’s warning but doesn’t drop his smile, looking at the wound on your shoulder before turning to Tovar just as he ties his hands to his back.

“You are not truly married are you?”

“Cállate...hijo de puta madre.” You struggle to get up, frowning when Tovar swears at the man as he swiftly wraps his arms with rope, perhaps harder than needed. 

“This should be fun then.” You ignore the man’s remarks and look around, finding most of the wanted men either dead or tied to some tree. You catch William’s eyes and nod when he asks you if you will be alright.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to accompany you to the sheriff, William. Perhaps it’s best that you leave me here.” You groan in pain and ignore the way Tovar’s eyes are sweeping over your form. 

“It will take me a day’s journey. Tovar, you will stay with her.”

“No, William that’s not necessary. Please, I’ll- I’ll be fine.” You respond immediately, completely missing the deeper frown that takes over the Spaniard’s features. 

“We’ll be in the inn. See you amigo.” Your eyes widen in surprise at the response but you say nothing, instead walking around to collect your weapons in order to place them on your horse. Within minutes, the company is leading away whoever is alive and taking note of the few that were killed. You remain standing against a tree, holding onto your shoulder as you pray softly for relief. 

“You cannot ride to town like this. Come here.” Tovar grabs your wrist and brings you to a large boulder, pushing onto your other shoulder until you’re sitting down before he brings a small pouch from his horse.

“This will hurt a bit querida.” Tovar gently speaks to you, completely throwing you off with the tone of his voice and distracting you enough to pull out the knife. You scream in pain and reach for his thigh, digging your nails into the muscular flesh just as he throws away the dagger and takes out the wineskin.

“I do not need such vile drinks.” You spit out at him in anger, unable to hold back from crying as he murmurs something before he pours the expensive alcohol on your shoulder. You’re turning away from him and sniffing violently, trying to hold back from swearing at how rough he’s being.

“Vindicate me O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, I have also trusted in- in...please, no more, it hurts.” You start praying but can’t continue when you feel Tovar ripping a part of your shirt in order to wrap the clean gauze better around your shoulder.

“Cállate...or better yet, keep praying for your God hermosa. Maybe he’ll reach down and help stop the bleeding. We both know you won’t thank me for this.” Tovar is trying his hardest to ignore the way you’re marking his thighs and he shakes his head when his thoughts become more unholy by the second. He imagines you sinking your nails into his skin under other circumstances but he’s brought back to the moment when you obey him and resume your prayers. 

“I have also trusted in the Lord, I shall not slip. Examine me, O- O Lord...and prove me, try my mind and my heart. Ahhh careful!” You’re crying again and it breaks Tovar’s heart to know that he is the reason behind your pain. He wants nothing more than to ask you why you stepped in front of him and took the dagger into your shoulder but he knows you’ll either lie or ignore his question should he inquire. He’s trying to finish swiftly so you aren’t left in the wood alone, or at least that’s what he says to himself so he doesn’t think of how soft and sweet your skin looks beneath his touch

“Stop your whining and take it. We wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t- hadn’t...mierda. No importa.” He grumbles again and looks up at you momentarily, only to find you staring at him with doe-like, innocent eyes. He swears he sees some form of affection pass through them but the expression is gone as soon as it comes and he forces himself to focus on your shoulder once more. He’d already cleaned it and wrapped the gauze around it, but he wants to make sure that the knot isn’t too tight or too loose. 

“For, for your lovingkindness is before my eyes...do not gather my soul with sinn- nghhh-” You moan in pain when he swipes his fingers over your bruised clavicle and the sound shoots straight to Tovar’s cock, causing him to clench his jaw tightly to prevent himself from acting on his desires. His eyes unintentionally hone in on the rosary around your neck and he gulps when his mind instantly imagines his hand wrapped around your throat and grasping onto the beaded chain as he fucks into you mercilessly until every living thing around knows who’s making you scream with pleasure.

“Lo siento.” He whispers to you as he meets your eyes again, and there’s a multitude of confessions in those two words but you choose to ignore them. You choose to ignore the way he looks at you with those hopeful eyes. You choose to pretend that you aren’t wishing for him to lean over and mold his lips with yours. You choose to ignore...so you wouldn’t have to leave him forever. 

“Redeem me and be merciful to me...be merciful to me. Be...be merciful to me.” Your repetition doesn’t go unnoticed by Tovar and he clears his throat before he stands up and helps you back onto your horse. The two of you ride back into town in silence, with Tovar occasionally slowing down to ensure that you aren’t close to unconsciousness. When you reach the edge of the forest, Tovar hops off of his horse and removes his belongings, taking the leather of his saddle and handing it to you before he speaks.

“I will find some lodging with the innkeeper, sí? And you can look around for someone to keep these two until William returns.” He rubs anxiously at his beard and waits for your response, nodding when you look around before replying to him.

“Yes.”

The Spaniard turns around and he only walks ahead ten feet before you’re calling for him. He turns around at the sound of his name and raises his eyebrows.

“Thank you. For caring for me.” You gulp at the intensity of his gaze and barely manage to hold contact with his brown eyes as he flashes you a quick, shy smile. You hadn’t expected to be at the receiving end of such an expression and you held onto the leather between your fingers tightly to try and ignore how fast your heart began to beat. How had you never noticed those dimples before? 

“De nada hermosa.” Tovar is backing away immediately and trying to ignore how his heart is violently beating at his chest from your words. He never thought the day would come where you would thank him for anything and hold such an amount of affection in your tone. But he quickly remembers the events of the last hour or so and shakes his head in irritation.

Why had you taken the dagger instead of him? 

You continue to watch him until he enters the inn, sighing heavily when it finally occurs to you that you might be having dinner with him alone tonight. Slowly making your way through the town, you thought of who you could possibly ask to care for your horses when you spotted a barnhouse just behind the church. When you reached the open door and looked inside, you shut your eyes in gratitude before getting off the horse and approaching the priest brushing a horse.

“Good afternoon Father,” you smile when the older man turns around and nods towards you.

“Good afternoon.” He says nothing else and you wait until he is finished with the task at hand before asking him if you could tie the two horses in the corner.

“My name is Y/N, and I am a- well, coin for hire...Father. And I was wondering if you would be kind enough and direct me to someone who could care for my friends here until the rest of my company arrives?” You nervously pick at the rosary around your neck when you notice him looking at the bible peeking out of your satchel.

“There’s no need, child. You can leave them here and I shall care for them.”

“Oh Father I couldn’t possibly ask you to-”

“Good thing you are not asking then.” He cuts you off with a smile before leading you out of the small barnhouse. 

“Are you otherwise occupied at the moment?” You ask him just as he moves to enter the church.

“I am not.”

“I- I wish to confess.” The older man notices your nervous stance and nods gently before asking you to follow him into the church. You follow behind him, not realizing that Tovar has already made reservations for the both of you and has come out in search of you. He spots you right before you enter the building, his eyes hardening almost instantly when he sees the priest speaking to you before you are both gone out of his sight. 

He walks towards the church but refuses to enter, instead waiting outside until you are finished. Not a few minutes pass and his patience wears out and he murmurs something beneath his breath as he enters the house of worship. You are nowhere in sight and he can’t help but marvel at the religiosity of the space, his eyes shifting instantly to the large cross hanging above the altar. Clearing his throat, he quietly makes his way to the front of the hall and looks up, taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes as he reluctantly falls to his knees. 

It has been long since Tovar spoke to the Almighty but he forces himself to ask for His guidance, if he can call it that, and hopes that he would one day be able to receive it. The moment ends as soon as it begins, however, when Tovar hears the faint sound of sniffling coming from the confession cubicle followed by the familiar sound of your voice. 

He knows he shouldn’t go near the private room. He knows that he has no business listening in on you confessing your deepest thoughts to the holy man. But he can’t stop his feet from carrying him towards the cubicle.

“I- you must know by now what I am required to do in my line of work Father.” Pero hears your soft voice through the quiet sniffles and he clutches the strap around his shoulder to prevent himself from walking into that room and pulling you into his arms. 

“Yes, but you know as well as I that you must voice your sins to me so God could forgive them.”

“I know. I am not sure where I could begin if I am being honest. I do not claim to have any excuses but I want you to know that I try not to kill anyone, not unless I have to. I have killed three men this morning. They were poor souls that stole and killed and needed to be stopped. It does not excuse what I have done but it is what happened.” 

“Let me ask you this, child. Do you kill out of anger? Out of jealousy? Out of hatred?”

“No, no never. I have never hurt anyone in my anger, at least I hope I haven’t. I killed them because they were going to kill me and my friends. I- it...it couldn’t be avoided.” Tovar wants to laugh at your innocence but he remains silent as he listens to the older man guide you through your troubles. If he had a priest like him back home, maybe he would have never strayed from God. 

“Then you have not sinned in the eyes of God. As long as you know the difference, then you are safe from the powers of satan...what else do you wish to confess?”

“There is...there is this man.” At that, Tovar’s eyes widen and he steps closer to the wooden panel to listen more closely. “And I- I have...I have dreams of him. Wicked dreams, images that do not escape me even when I wake.” Tovar bites into his lower lip when he feels his cock harden beneath his breeches and he fixes his clothes quietly before leaning his ears into the flimsy barrier.

“I dream of him almost every night Father and I pray to God every waking moment so he could take them away from me. But they only increase, so much so that I wake up sweating and heaving throughout the night. I do not wish to have such thoughts of him because-” You halt in your words and Tovar hates that even in your confession, you are choosing your words carefully.

“I do not want these dreams and I do not wish to think of him in the ways that I do. But I- I cannot help it Father. I don’t know what more I could do.”

“St. Paul writes in his first letter to the Thessalonians, ‘For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality.’ My child, sexual immorality does not only cover the physical actions of the body but the emotional and mental thoughts as well. It is better for you to come forward to this man than to remain in this sin.” Tovar almost growls at the response, hating how the priest validates your beliefs further. 

“That is not possible Father...as much as I wish it, I cannot.” 

They both remain quiet for a few moments and Tovar almost loses his mind when the silence extends. He shuts his eyes and clenches his fists tightly before running out of the church to the barnhouse, multiple curses falling through his lips when he realizes that he will never have a chance with you, especially now that he was certain you were thinking of another man. Unable to hold back any further, Tovar throws his things to the ground before moving to the back of the barnhouse. He stands behind a large tree and makes quick work of his breeches, hissing in anger when he finds himself painfully hard and already leaking precum. Throwing his head back, he spits onto his hand before taking his cock roughly in his palm. Pero moans when he squeezes the crown of his hard dick, his mind finding it much easier to conjure up images of you writhing beneath him in bed now that he knew of your dreams. 

He wishes you had been more detailed, no matter how wrong and inappropriate that would have been. He pictures you sweating and heaving on your hands and knees as he drives his cock deeper into you with every thrust. Tovar’s groans grow louder as he increases his pace and he shivers in need when he imagines you begging for him to take you, to touch you and kiss your tits and perhaps fill you with his seed. The thought of you letting him rule over your body brings him closer to his pleasure and he cries out pathetically as he cums onto the ground, your name like a sweet benediction on his lips as he continues to rub his cock. Pero finally opens his eyes and looks to the blue sky, hissing in regret and feeling a sense of disgust settle into his stomach. He quickly fixes himself and silently asks for your forgiveness, for violating you in his mind and for listening to your confessions. Breathing in the clean scent of the grass, he moves back to the barnhouse and washes his hand quickly before taking his satchel and walking to the shop in front of the church to wait for your return. 

Unbeknownst to Pero, the priest in fact chooses to ask you a more personal question than necessary, inquiring after your strange answer as to why it was not possible to approach this man you speak of.

“He does not love me as I love him. He- he cannot stand the sight of me. I am not sure what I had done to deserve such hatred from him but- it is what it is, Father.”

“You love him.” It was more of a statement than a question and the priest can’t help but shake his head in sadness as he continues to listen to you.

“I do. I love him dearly.” You wipe the tears as they fall down your cheeks, looking towards the light coming through the small window before returning your gaze to the ground again. 

“Hmm...Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” 

“Father?” You look towards the barrier between you and the priest quizzically, hoping he would explain his response further.

“I will give you an absolution Y/N, but- I cannot help but think that you may have been asking God for the wrong thing. You ask Him to take away these dreams yet you never pray that this man returns your love or, at the very least, become less hostile towards you?” There is almost a humorous tone to the older man’s words and you raise an eyebrow in curiosity because he was right. Granted, it is the last comment you expect from a man of God but it wouldn’t hurt to listen to him.

“N-no.”

“You are correct in wanting to rid yourself of these thoughts, for they are most unholy and they will only lead you to eternal hellfire. But you might find it in your best interest if you pray that God opens the eyes of this man. Ask to know the truth of his feelings and why he chooses to be the way he is. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” You wait for a few moments before you ask him to give you the absolution. When you walk out of the church a few minutes later, you find it much easier to breathe and you can’t help but think about the priest’s suggestion. Maybe you have been going about this all wrong?

You spot Tovar in the shop in front of the church, but not wanting to bother him, you turn around and move to the barnhouse to brush your horse. Leaning against your horse, you kiss its neck and comb through its hair as you try to push the pain in your shoulder aside. Ignoring the sting of your muscles, you pick up the brush and proceed to massage your horse all the while replaying the priest’s suggestions through your mind. 

When Pero looks up and sees the priest standing at the front of the church and speaking to a young girl, he lets go of the cloth in his hand and moves out of the shop, scanning the street for you. When he doesn’t find you anywhere, he slowly approaches the priest and waits until the young girl leaves before he clears his throat.

“Padre.”

“Yes?”

“There was a woman who entered the church a while ago. She is dressed like me. Have you seen where she went?” Pero is uncomfortable but he tries his hardest to not turn away from the priest’s piercing gaze. He is unsure how you managed to speak to him but he quickly remembers of the barrier between the two of you. But he frowns when the priest doesn’t respond and instead stares at him for a while.

“She is in the barnhouse.” The older man narrows his eyes at Tovar before he turns around and walks back into the church. Tovar is confused and a tad bit annoyed but he thinks nothing of the weird interaction. He scratches his beard as he approaches you, about to let you know that your room would probably be prepared when he finds you whispering to the large animal. He stands at the foot of the door and leans back, finding it calming to watch you interact with the horse.

“He shall send from heaven and save me, he reporaches the one who would swallow me up. God shall send forth His mercy and His truth. My soul is among lions, I lie among the sons of men…” Tovar sighs in irritation when his mind chooses to misunderstand your words yet again and he shakes his head as he swears at himself. 

“My soul is bowed down. They have dug a pit before me, into the midst of it they themselves have fallen. My heart is steadfast, Oh God, my heart is steadfast...ahh, ah- gah…” Pero snaps out of his haze when he hears your cries right as you drop the brush from your hand and fall to the ground. He is beside you in an instant, turning you around and resting you against the wall. 

“Pero…” His expression eases almost instantly when he hears his name on your lips. You’ve rarely used it and he finds himself wishing he could ask you to repeat it over and over again.

“Let me look at the wound-” He asks as he tries to loosen the knot to check on the wound but he senses a shift in your demeanor as soon as his fingers trail over your skin. You gasp at the touch of his hand and move away from him, unable to control the stabbing sensation in your stomach when you feel heat radiating off of his body. Tovar misunderstands your reaction and he looks away shamefully before he steps back. 

“How can I help?” He tries to remain neutral but he is hurt that you think he would ever touch you inappropriately without your consent. 

“I- I umm, the- the lodging.” Your throat suddenly feels dry and you look up in time to see Tovar’s eyes taking in your heaving chest. Struggling to stand up, you grab your belongings and tighten your hold around the small Bible in your satchel, unsure of what to say as the man in front of you continues to stare at you.

“Sí,” Pero responds quietly before he moves out of the barnhouse, ignoring the sounds of harsh breaths emitting from behind him as he makes his way to the inn. You try to catch up with him but eventually fall behind, and you can’t find it in yourself to ask him to slow down so you opt to keep your eyes on him as he moves through the crowded market. When it becomes too difficult to walk, you move towards a stand and rest on it, finally realizing that the dagger must have been laced with a poison. You’re not sure how long you stay leaning against the wall until a pair of hands shake you to consciousness.

“Hermosa, can you hear me?” You open your eyes and find Tovars’ handsome features laced with worry. It occurs to you that the poison might have a hallucinogen because there was no way on earth that this man would ever feel such worry towards you. 

“T-tovar...I- I’m not feeling too good.” You whisper right as your eyes flutter closed but you’re instantly awake once more when you feel Tovar lean down and take you up in his arms. You’re struggling to breathe but force yourself to look at the Spaniard as he rushes through the street. 

“Stay with me querida, por favor.” His voice is frantic yet caring and you don’t take notice of what you’re doing until you feel his eyes on you again as he comes to a halt. 

“Why- why do you hate me?” Pero can’t breathe for a second, not when your hand is skimming over his cheek while the other one rests above his heart, the same one that breaks when your question finally hits his ears. “I- I wish you didn’t...so I could show you how much I- oh, n-no...so we would-” You don’t get to finish your sentence though and Pero watches as you clasp onto your shoulder when it begins to bleed again.

“Mierda,” he hisses as he resumes running towards the inn, not bothering to provide an explanation to the innkeeper as he rushes up the stairs and into the room reserved for you. The man comes behind him and quickly asks him how he could be of service when he sees Tovar undoing the gauze and swearing when the wound appears more inflamed than before. 

“Do you have a healer in this town?”

“Right away sir.” Pero wets a towel before bringing it to your forehead just as the innkeeper fetches a young boy to call for someone. You’re writhing violently and Tovar blames himself for not being careful earlier in the day. It feels like hours have passed by when a knock sounds through the door and in comes the priest.

Anger rises in Tovar’s chest as he walks up to the priest, prepared to draw his sword and kick him out. 

“I did not ask for you, I need a-”

“I am a healer son, of all ailments. Please let me pass or your friend will not have much time.” The priest speaks with patience and he waits until Pero moves to the side before he brings out his tonics and ointments. 

“What caused this?” The priest asks as he removes the gauze completely and attempts to clean around the wound before he decides which ointment was best. 

“A dagger, we were...after some men and I- I was not...she took it instead of me Padre.” The priest grows silent at the odd remark. He is about to ask if the weapon was laced with anything when he notices a strange green substance forming on the edges of the wound. He instantly recognizes the poison and shakes his head. 

“S-save me oh God, for- for the waters have come...come up to my neck. I s-sink in deep mire where- where...where there is no standing. I have come into d-deep, oh god...deep waters. Where the floods overflow me.” You whisper through a haze, vaguely aware of a gentle hand treating the wound on your shoulder before it ceases to move. 

“May god have mercy on your soul…” Pero almost loses all control when he hears the priest’s prayer. 

“Will she die?” He steps forward and asks just as the older man begins to apply a heavy tonic onto the wound. You’re hissing and groaning for a few moments before your frown relaxes just as the priest applies new gauze to the wound. 

He waits until you’ve calmed down before he collects his things and asks Tovar to meet him outside. When they both leave and lock the door behind them, the Priest looks away from the angry Spaniard.

“Padre, please, tell me. Will she die?”

The priest is about to answer when he hears you crying through the door.

“My eyes fail while I- I...please, God...while I wait for my God. Oh God...my sins are not hidden from You, oh Lord...my prayer is to You. Oh God- please...T-tovar- I need...please...deliver me out of the mire and let me- not...not sink. Hear me Oh Lord…”

Pero tries to ignore your cries but he feels his heart give out with each whimper that escapes your lips. And then you call his name and ask for him and he all but loses it, hands shooting to the knob to turn it. He stops, however, when he feels the Priest pull him back.

“It is not wise to go in there my son.”

“Let go of me.” Tovar snaps at the older man, rolling his eyes when he feels the hold around his shoulder tighten.

“There will be many consequences to your actions if you go in there...the dagger that she was stabbed with...it, well, it held a dangerous...aphrodisiac.” Pero’s eyes widen in surprise and shock when he registers the words of the priest and he steps back from the door while looking to the floor.

“If you can go in there and care for her without touching her, then by all means,” Tovar gulps when the priest motions for him to walk right through the room, eyebrows furrowing in frustration when he listens into your pained noises, “but I must warn you to not lust after her beauty in your heart...not let her allure you with her eyelids.”

“Take your proverbs elsewhere Padre, they will not find seed in this heart. How dare you think me of such actions when she’s not aware?” Tovar angrily points at his chest as he continues to pace back and forth, trying to calm himself down as he continues to hear you moaning through the door. 

“Draw near to my soul and redeem it...deliver me because- because...oh Pero. Pero, please. I need you, please. I want you...I crave your touch...your- your lips. I need to feel your skin against mine. Please...pl- oh God, please.” 

“If not for your sake then for hers. You shall not commit adultery. She is a child of God.”

“Was it not her God that allowed for this?” Pero yells at the priest as he moves across the hallway and kicks the wall. He waits for the priest to respond and huffs sarcastically when he doesn’t and remains silent. 

“Answer my question Padre, will she die if- if she remains untouched?” 

“I am not certain...but you must think of your soul as well, no? Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The priest approaches Tovar reluctantly, immediately stepping back when he sees his shoulders tense at his words. 

“Padre, for your sake, I need you to reserve your gospel for someone else. I do not care for my salvation, and if you must know, I have committed adultery a thousand times with her in my heart. I have no need for your absolution nor do I seek God’s forgiveness.” He isn’t sure what brings him to such a confession but he watches the man of God nod silently as he moves away with disappointment written on his features. 

“Then there is nothing more for me to tell you except this...if you do not walk in there and- aid her, she might not make it through the night. But, if you do, then you will have to live with the consequences of your actions. I cannot give you, nor her, my blessings for such immoral activities. May God have mercy on your souls and guide your heart.” Tovar turns away when the priest walks past him and down the stairs. He grasps his sword tightly to try and ground himself, but then the faint groans ringing through the small room bring him back to reality. 

He’s ashamed of how many times he’s thought of this moment. But not once did he think he’d ever refuse to lay with you. Yet here he was, forced to make a decision that would ultimately hurt both of you. If he doesn’t help you, he might lose you forever and he would never forgive himself as long as he lives. But if he does help you, he’d risk losing your trust and your company, and would perhaps never see you again. He’d have to live with the knowledge that you hate him. But you would be alive and well...

There was no doubt in his mind what he needed to do. 

Tovar looked down at his hands and blinked in regret. The last thing he wished to do was to willingly hurt you. But he couldn’t let you die, especially when it was him that the dagger was meant for.

Taking a deep breath, he musters up enough courage to turn around and unlock the door, not bothering to look at you as he enters the room and shuts the wooden barrier behind him. Taking his weapons off of his person, Tovar clears his throat and slowly turns to look at you, his eyes taking in your desperate form as you fisted your hands into the sheets and stared at him with heavy-lidded eyes. 

“P-Pero...god, I- you’re here. Please, I n-need you. You- you’re too far, please, need you, want you...want to feel you. Your- oh Christ, your skin, your l-lips...your tongue- your hands...need you, inside me...please.” Pero almost chokes on his saliva when your desperate words hit him and he remains grounded in his spot as he licks his lips. His cock twitches in his breeches when he notices your disheveled clothing, and he realizes that you must have tried to take it all off but couldn’t tug hard enough. He looks at your exposed neck and clenches his jaw when he sees the rosary nestled perfectly between your sweaty breasts.

Fuck. He knew he didn’t have a chance in heaven but looking at you now, with your body calling for him, he realized there was no chance in hell for him either. Not with what he was thinking of doing to you.

Slowly approaching you, he stood above your shivering form and gently brushed your hair aside, hissing in anger when he found you hot to the touch. There was so much he wanted to say and he figured this was his chance considering how you would probably not recall this night when you wake up the following day.

“Hermosa, I- perdóname. Forgive me for everything I have done to you...and for everything I will do to you tonight.” Tovar’s heart clenches when you take his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing and nipping and the skin of his palm and wrist until you couldn’t take it anymore. It breaks him knowing that those gentle touches are born out of a hazed necessity and not because you wanted to kiss him. 

“Please...be merciful to me.” Your words echo from earlier through the tense silence and Tovar hates how he longs to hear you pray for him instead. Stepping away from you, he holds his hands up and shushes you as you start to whine again, whispering sweet words down to your aching soul as he strips himself of his garments. You find it difficult to wet your throat and attempt to take off your clothes as well, almost breaking into tears when you continue to struggle with the long-sleeve shirt and your trousers. 

“Here, let me.” You feel your skin crawl with ants when Tovar begins to undo the laces and buttons of your garments, and you find it hard to look away when all you are met with is gentleness and determination. At some point, you swear his hands are shaking and your hazed mind mistakes it for rejection but there isn’t enough consciousness left for you to apologize to him so instead, you grasp on his forearms and dig your nails into his muscles as he rids you of the dampened fabrics hugging your shaking body.

Tovar tries his hardest to not pounce on you as soon as more of your skin is revealed to him and he silently prays for patience when your touches turn rough. He throws everything onto the chair near the bed and returns to you, inhaling deeply when he sees how soaked your chest band and undergarments have become. He’s standing in nothing but his own breeches and he can’t help it when he fixes himself through the fabric, smiling to himself when you whine at the not-so-subtle movement and mirror his actions. He growls when he sees you cup your mound and rub harshly to try and relieve some of the pain. 

“No.” The single command shoots straight to your aching cunt and you instantly remove your hand from your heated skin, looking up at him and silently begging him to take you right then and there. “No, you do not touch yourself when I am here. Your pleasure belongs to me. Your noises...they belong to me, your arousal...every last drop of it, belongs to me. Sí?” You nod frantically and sigh in relief when he moves onto the bed, a little annoyed that he is yet to take off all of his garments. He gently parts your thighs and kneels between them, smiling to himself when he sees your flesh responding so easily to his touch. A part of him feels horrible for what he is thinking but he can’t help but fill his chest with pride at the thought of knowing that no one else has touched you like this, let alone seen you so wrecked and positively...sinful.

“Magnífico,” your hold on the sheets beneath you tighten as more words of his mother tongue roll off of his lips and you bite down on your hand when he pushes your legs up towards you to open you up for him a little more. It’s absolutely filthy what Tovar is doing and he is aware that he should be more gentle with you, perhaps move slowly since you have never had such contact with a man before, but he can’t bring himself to hold back, not when you were looking at him with those pleading, innocent eyes. 

He leans down and shuts his eyes as he pushes his nose into your undergarment, moaning lewdly when he fills his nostrils with the scent of you. 

“Dios mío...your smell querida, it’s as sweet as honey.” Tovar mumbles against your heat, smiling devilishly when he notices your eyes widen with embarrassment at his comment. In the blink of an eye, he’s fingering the edge of the flimsy material and violently pulling it off of you, throwing it behind him haphazardly before he sinks in between your thighs again. He doesn’t give you enough time to prepare for him as he hungrily licks at your wet pussy. You briefly think you should feel ashamed for what he’s doing to you, or perhaps beg him to not be so forward and filthy with his sounds. But the thoughts roll away when he growls against your slit and your back arches painfully off of the bed when you feel his tongue licking into your heat. You aren’t sure how to convey to him the immense pleasure he is bringing to you so you settle for grabbing his hair and screaming his name over and over again. The sting his scruff is offering you soothes the pain in your muscles and you silently pray for him to become a little more aggressive with his touches. 

Tovar becomes a crazed man when he hears the way his name falls from your tongue like a prayer and he grabs your hips harshly before bringing you closer to his mouth. He continues to look at you as he tongue-fucks your cunt, unable to comprehend how this moment was real. He closes his eyes again to savor the taste of your juices flowing so easily into his mouth and moves one hand to your backside, squeezing and slapping your ass as he zeroes in on that bundle of nerves. Your hold on his hair tightens but Tovar enjoys being at the receiving end of those rough touches. He continues to lap at your cunt, occasionally switching to sucking on your little nub until you let go of his hair and grab at the sheets. 

Pero feels you coming on his tongue but he can’t find it in himself to stop, wanting to commit every single moment to memory. He momentarily moves away to nip at your thighs and just as you’re beginning to come down from your high, he shoves two fingers past your slit and returns to mouth at your clit. 

You try to sit up on the bed but one hand across your navel pushes you back down again. You aren’t sure if you want him to stop or keep going but you feel that familiar tug at your lower stomach again and before you know it, you’re hitting that delicious peak once more. You aren’t aware of what happens when you fall back down again though. All you can feel is your body shaking and your chest heaving as Pero refuses to let you close your legs. 

At some point, he finally shows you mercy and removes himself from you, and it takes you a few moments to open your eyes and will yourself to look at him. Your lips part in shock when you see Tovar licking his arms like a starved man, not realizing what has happened until you look down and see the soaked sheets beneath you. You’re mortified and attempt to close your legs but Tovar stops your movements with a dangerous smirk, raising an eyebrow as he looks down and sees his chest also soaked with your juices. You turn away from him and try to hide behind your arm but he’s falling on top of you and removing your hand before he turns your chin so you could finally meet his gaze. 

“My delicious little princesa...don’t shy away from me cariño. I want you, all of you...whatever you wish to give me.” A small part of you is aware that he is only speaking those words to put you at ease and help you through your predicament, but a more desperate corner of your mind tells you that he meant every word he said and that you should trust him. You’re aware of how dangerous this could be but you can’t find it in yourself to care as you lean up and kiss his chapped, plump lips. Tovar is taken aback from your forwardness but he meets your motions with as much vigor, lapping and sucking on your tongue until he feels your hips meet his shallow thrusts. You moan lewdly when his clothed cock pushes against your heated core and Tovar takes this chance to shove his tongue into your mouth, not caring for how messy and how unskilled you were. He would teach you tonight, even if it was the only night he would spend with you. 

When your fingers tangle in his hair and pull it on, Tovar growls and pushes up away from you. You have a few seconds to prepare for the onslaught of his hands as he attempts to rip the chest band off of your body. He is silent when you are finally naked to his eyes and you feel self-conscious from how quiet he’s grown. You move to cover yourself but Tovar is taking hold of your wrists and slamming them above your head, eyes boring into your hazed ones before he descends on your breasts. You throw your head back when you feel his tongue swirling roughly around your nipple, arching your back further into him when he pinches and twists the other one between his calloused fingers. You’re torn between begging him to slow down and screaming for him to take whatever he wants. It seems that Tovar knows what you crave though because he nips at the hardened peaks until you’re writhing beneath him. He looks away for only a second to take in how absolutely wrecked you look before he takes the other nipple in between his lips and sucks on it, groping the other and not caring for how wet and messy he’s left you. 

His treatment of your body only makes you more needy for him and as you’re about to beg him to give you his cock, Tovar pulls off of you before swallowing your moans again, keeping both of his hands on your tits and playing with them as you gave yourself over completely to him. It creeps up on you without warning and you’re screaming his name as you feel your cunt clench around nothing. Tovar pulls off of you and watches as your body shakes with pleasure at his ministrations, smirking when he sees the rosary sliding against your heaving chest. It’s almost taunting how it looks back at him but he pays it no mind. He swears in his mother tongue when he looks down and sees your cunt contracting violently and gushing more arousal. You’re finding it difficult to breathe as his fingers trail down to your thighs and push them further so he could take a better look at you.

“Did...did you just-” Tovar isn’t able to finish his question because the look you’re giving him is anything but innocent, and your little nod is the perfect boost for his ego because he’d just managed to make you cum from only touching your tits. He’s distracted when he sees your hands inching towards the tent in his clothes and he doesn’t stop you when he feels the warmth of your palm seeping through and engulfing his cock. You’re tugging and squeezing with curiosity in your eyes and Tovar loses his patience, slapping your hands away as he just manages to take the last article off. He’s kneeling in between your legs and smiles to himself when he sees your widened expression at the size of him. 

“Don’t worry princesa, I’ll go slow...for now.” Goosebumps erupt on your skin at the implications behind his words and you’re snapped back to reality when you notice that Tovar stretched his hand and kept it against your lips. 

“Escupe,” you have no clue what he just said but when he opens your lips and shoves his fingers into your mouth, you get an idea of what he wants. Reluctantly, you spit in the palm of his hand and grip the sheets tightly when he keeps his gaze on you and spits on the same palm as well right before spreading the mixed juices across your slit. You’re turned on by his forwardness and brace yourself for what’s to come, already feeling your stomach burn with need when he takes longer and touches himself. You watch as he coats his cock with your juices, mind slowly falling into a haze when you see how he tugs and rubs the aching tip of his dick. 

“Are you ready for me mi amor?” He’s massaging your inner thighs, eyes keeping you captivated as you nod and inhale deeply in preparation for him. Tovar sighs as he takes your hand in his before he slowly inches his cock into your cunt. The two of you are hissing and Tovar thinks he’s died and gone to heaven with how tight you feel around him. He nudges further into you and continues to whisper in Spanish when he feels your muscles tense.

“Relax for me querida, please. I could make you feel so good. Relájate. Don’t want to hurt you mi cielo.” He leans down and gently rubs at your neck, licking and kissing down your shoulder until he feels you ease around him. Moments later, he can feel you twisting beneath him and he realizes that you’re telling him you’re ready. Without a warning, Pero snaps his hips and sheathes himself fully inside you, his cock twitching at the whines and whimpers you were whispering in his ears when he broke your barrier. He’s trying his hardest to remain still so he doesn’t hurt you but then you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and molding your lips with his. It should not have been like this, he thinks. But he let’s his selfishness take over because if this were to be the only time you’d ever let a man touch you, then he was glad it was him and not someone else. Someone whom he knew would never feel this deeply towards you. 

“Please...move, I need- I want...it hurts. I want you to move Pero...oh god, Pero..Pero, you’re so...so hard for me. Feel so full, oh Christ, feels so good.” There’s something about hearing you moan his name along with the name of your God that makes him feral and he sits back up again, taking hold of your hips and ensuring that your eyes are on him before he pulls out and thrusts his cock back in. You dig your nails into the bed when you feel every ridge and vein passing against your walls, biting into your lower lip to stifle your moans. 

“Fuck...eres perfecto.” Tovar wanted to savor every moment, to commit this to memory so he would revisit this night time and again until his life on earth was finished. But he couldn’t hold back, couldn’t go slow even if he tried, not with how tight you were clenching around him and how wet you became the harder he filled you with his cock. You were a sight to behold, face scrunching up in pain and pleasure, some drool rolling from the corner of your lips as you sighed and begged him to take whatever he wanted from your body. 

“Better than any fucking dream hermosa...mierda, I- I could spend an eternity between your thighs and never wish to leave. You’re, fuck fuck ah f-fuck...you’re so much better than what I imagined. So sweet, so warm...and so- goddamn- tight.” He pronounced every word with a harsh thrust of his hips and you cried out as he took his pleasure and coaxed another orgasm out of your pussy. You grabbed his forearms when you felt your stomach flutter, and threw your head back when Tovar noticed you coming undone once more. He picked up his pace, switching his attention from your facial expressions to where you were joined. Letting go of one hip, he spat on his thumb before laying it on your clit and rubbing furiously to prolong your peak. You barely managed to open your eyes, turning to look at him as he continued his assault on your skin. Your chest tightened at the thought of never being with him again but you forced yourself to not think of the following day. There was tonight, and you would take everything and give him all that he wanted. After all, there was no truth behind his words, just the heat of the moment. Or perhaps it was him speaking of his triumph over you, someone he’s loathed for wasting her time on what he called a ‘false God.’ 

“P-pero...yes, oh- Pero, Pero...fuck, please.” 

Pero held your gaze as he let go of your waist and fell on top of you, one hand quickly wrapping around your throat as he pushed agonizingly slowly into you. There was something different in his eyes and you weren’t sure if it was affection or despise but you looked away from him instantly, afraid he’d see how you feel about him. Tovar misunderstood your fear for disgust and he snarled in anger as he tightened his hold around your throat until you turned to him again. He met your lips with an aggressive kiss and continued to push his cock deeper into you until he felt your nails digging into his back. He swore when they trailed down his muscles to his backside, forcing him to thrust a little quickly. 

“Who knew princesa...that you were nothing but a filthy fucking whore. Begging to be fucked...to be filled over and over again. Shit, this cunt, so tight and wet for me...you’ve no idea how much I craved this...craved you, to touch you, kiss you, mark you as my own...my whore, my innocent whore.” His words should have hurt, but you found yourself growing wetter just from hearing him call you his. But it was the twisting of the knife to hear him confess of how he craved you. You knew as well as he that this was far from the truth. But you found yourself ignoring the heartache just to enjoy him and the sensation of his skin sliding against yours in the throws of passion. 

“You’re getting close again cariño...fuck, I could- ahh ahh, could feel you swallowing my cock sweetheart. Come on, cum for me. Cum for me one more time, let me feel you coming on my cock like the good little girl you are. Please, mi amor…” It was almost as if your body had a mind of its own because at his words, the familiar knot in your navel untwisted and you arched into him as you came with a silent cry, hand grasping to the one holding your throat and pushing down on it to make him grip you tighter. 

Tovar shuts his eyes and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, refusing to reveal any more of himself to you. You’ve rejected him several times and he couldn’t bear the thought of thinking him more of a monster as he reached his pleasure. 

“Oh god, oh fuck, I- mi amor. Te amo más de lo que nunca sabrás. Ah, god f-ffu…” Against your better judgement, you let go of his hand and push them into his hair, forcing him to look at you right before you met his lips. He’s growling and almost sobbing with want as he fills you with his seed, never once halting in his movements as he pushes his cock deeper inside you. You lose yourself into the kiss, unable to put together a coherent thought as you feel warmth spread where you are joined. This kiss is more desperate, and you’re not sure if it’s because of Tovar or because of you. 

His chest tightens painfully when he looks at you and sees tears in your eyes. He’s not sure if you’re crying because of him and he’s about to ask when you push him off of you and onto his back. Maybe you’ve finally come to your senses and wanted him t-

Tovar chokes on air when you slither between his legs and take his cock between the warmth of your hands, not giving him a chance to say anything as you lean down and take him in your mouth. “Hermosa, you- oh fuck, you don’t have t- oh gah.” He’s twisting your hair in his hand when you try to take him as far back in your mouth as you could. It’s messy and filthy and you’re inexperienced but he finds your attempts to pleasure him the most beautiful sight in the world. He can see cum and saliva rolling down the corners of your mouth and he grows harder at the thought of you tasting yourself and him on your tongue. 

He swears you might be the devil incarnate when you take him out of your mouth and kiss the underside of his cock. It’s such an innocent gesture but his cock twitches, and then you’re licking across the protruding veins and he all but loses it. 

“Shit, you l-look so beautiful mi amor, mouth full of my cock. Can you taste yourself? Go on, tell him how we taste...please, tell me.” You continue to mouth and nip at him, occasionally massaging the base of his cock and biting into his thighs when his hold tightens around your hair. 

Tovar feels his cock harden the more you give it attention and he begrudgingly pulls you off so you could answer him. 

“Tell me mi amor.” 

You’re not sure why you choose those words and you hope he understands the implications behind him without you needing to bare your soul to him any further

“As tempting as death…” 

The words are an arrow piercing his heart and he shuts his eyes for a few moments to collect his bearings before he’s roughly pulling you off of him and bringing you to his lips.

“Ven aquí y bésame! I want to taste us.” He shoves his tongue into your mouth and hums in approval when he can vaguely taste his seed and your arousal mixing with your scent. He’s not sure what brings him to do this but Tovar pulls back far enough and he maintains eye contact as he spits into your mouth, biting into his lower lip as he watches you make a show of swallowing his spit. You part your lips and breathe in his natural musk before you lean over and kiss his jaw. Momentarily distracted by your sudden need to show him affection, Tovar doesn’t notice you moving up his chest until your lips are trailing up the scar across his eye. He shakes in need when you kiss it over and over again, whispering quick apologies and wishing you could have been there to prevent him from being hurt. 

Tovar is no longer able to discern what it is you’re feeling. One minute you’re hiding yourself and turning away from him, and the next, you’re worshiping his cock and his scars as if he was yours. He decides to blame it on the poison and the wound-

The wound.

Pero pushes on your neck harder than he intends and he apologizes when he’s met with a shocked, hurt expression.

“Lo siento mi amor…” He whispers kindly to you as his eyes take in the wound on your shoulder, sighing in relief when he sees that the Priest covered it well. Little amount of blood managed to seep through the coverings but it wasn’t enough to alarm him. “I needed to ensure you aren’t hurt, forgive me hermosa.” Tovar explains again and watches as you visibly relax against him. 

“Come here,” you obey him as he pulls you into his arms and lays behind you, telling you to rest before the poison takes hold of you once more. You feel rejected, wishing you could tell him that the fire in your stomach and your lungs is returning already. But he’s done so much for you throughout the night and he deserved more than this. More than you. It wasn’t his duty to aid you through such a circumstance and yet he took it upon himself to do so.

Tovar wraps his arms around you and hopes you don’t pay any mind to his already hardening cock. He wants to slide into your cunt again and fill you up, but he doesn’t want to take more advantage of you. Not when you were hurt and vulnerable.

You try to get some shuteye, and you do for a little while, but you’re no longer able to quiet down when you begin to feel your skin crawling with ants. You’re sweating again, and your breaths are coming in quickly when you finally wake up and feel the pins and needle pain jabbing in your lower stomach. It’s your little whine that breaks Tovar’s daydreaming and he’s turning you around to take a better look at you.

“What’s the matter mi amor? Did I- did I hurt you?” You’re shaking your head violently at him as you’re turning in his arms and before he could try to figure out what it is you want, you’re getting on your hands and knees, ass in the air and face turned to him with an expression that he’s never seen before. 

He gulps at the sight before him and looks at you, rubbing at the scruff of his beard before his eyes widen in shock when he sees your hand reaching down and swiping across the mess seeping out of your cunt.

“I need you Pero, need you to- fuck me. Please, fuck me. Mark me and fill me up with your seed. Want you to use me for your pleasure, use me however you want. I- I can take it. Just- need your cock.” The sound of your pleas is music to his ears and Tovar is moving to kneel behind you in the blink of an eye. He kisses your lower back as his hand pushes down between your shoulder blades until your face is flush against the dampened sheets. You shiver when he trails his fingers up and down your back, smiling when he nips and kisses your round ass cheeks. Tovar bites into the skin of your backside and lightly spanks you when you try to jump away from him.

“My pretty girl wants me to fuck her again. You’re so wet for me hermosa, so ready and needy. Tell me, tell me how much you crave my cock.” He takes hold of his dick and swipes it between your slit, chuckling to himself when he sees the way you’re looking at him.

“Pero, don’t- please don’t tease. I burn for you, ‘ve dreamt of- oh I, I need your cock inside me. I really need you to fuck me, to- to-” You’re tripping over your words and Tovar knows he shouldn’t blame you for your lack of coherence but he’s living for how crazed you are. He pushes his cock into your fluttering walls and doesn’t miss how awfully tighter you feel around him this time around. You’re shaking with lust but only scream his name when you feel the palm of his hand landing on your ass one time after another as he fucks you without remorse. You lose count of how many times he spanks your ass and you don’t care because as soon as he stops and slips his other hand down to your clit, you’re seeing stars and groaning as pleasure courses through your veins. 

Tovar hisses at how tightly your cunt clenches around him and he’s suddenly in need of feeling your skin against his. Shoving his hand into your hair, he violently pulls on it until your back is flush to his chest. 

“That’s it querida, scream for me. Scream my name mi amor, so- fuck ah ah shit, so everyone knows who fucks you like the filthy whore you are. Go on cariño, sing for me. Feel me, pray for me. Dios mío, I’m- I won’t last mi cielo. You’re too good, too sweet, my heaven. Everything my heart desires...yearns for, lives for. Oh fuck, oh god- go on mi amor, cum for me. One more time, please. Need to feel you squeeze my cock one last time...just once, please. Fuck ah fuck I-” Tovar bites down on your shoulder as he thrusts into you, his rhythm forgotten as he fills your womb with his seed. You’re a quivering mess in his arms, relishing the harsh touch of his scruff on your heated skin. He moans your name when he feels you contracting around him, one arm wrapped around your chest and cupping your tits while the other is twirling around the rosary on your neck. 

You lose all sense of reality and time as Tovar slowly pushes you to your side, his cock somehow still hard in your cunt. You’re both heaving when Tovar takes the rosary from around your neck and holds it in the palm of his hand. 

You’re dozing off again but a harsh pinch to your nipples brings you back and you’re turning around just in time to see Tovar licking the beads that go around your neck before he drags the rosary down your skin. You’re not sure what he’s playing at until you feel the individual beads twirling in the mess of your combined juices. He’s rubbing your slit with the necklace and collecting your mixed arousal and your eyes widen in horror at the filthiness of the action. Tovar’s hand moves from your breast to your neck, aggressively turning your head around so you’re looking into his eyes as he brings the rosary back to your mouth.

“Open your mouth querida...and taste us.” You silently obey him and let him push the holy object into your mouth. You’re unable to hide how thoroughly you’re enjoying this and Tovar leans forward to lick in your mouth, smiling devilishly when you try to chase his lips as he tries to pull away.

“Sleep mi amor, you need to rest.” Tovar takes the rosary from your lips and throws it around his own neck. You turn in his arms and nuzzle into his chest, silently praying that he doesn’t regret this the following day. 

“Please be here when I wake up.” You murmur in your sleep and Tovar’s heart breaks into a million shards when he realizes that things will be different once the two of you awake the following morning. 

He’s not sure how much time passes but he spends every second looking at you, memorizing your calm expression and how at ease your muscles feel under his touch. He doesn’t want to go to sleep, not when he knows this would be the last time he’d be able to be near you in such a manner. When he tries to move to get a drink of water, your arms wrap tightly around his chest and bring him closer to you. He’s smiling to himself and brushing your hair aside to kiss you, laying his head back in irritation when he notices that the darkened skies are turning a lighter shade of pinks and blues. 

Tovar shuts his eyes and doesn’t bother to wipe the tears away when he remembers the events of the night. He’s torn himself into bits to ensure your safety and although he was of sound mind when he walked into this room, he never thought it would hurt this much to leave you. 

When the chirping of the birds rings through the morning light, Tovar takes a deep breath and turns to you, kissing you one last time on your forehead before he loosens your hold on him. You frown for a moment in your slumber but remain unmoving as he dresses and leaves the room. He’s holding fast to the rosary around his neck as he walks to the barnhouse when he sees the Priest unlocking the doors of the church. 

The older man takes one look at Tovar and nods in understanding. 

“Is there anything I can help you with my son?”

“Thank you but no Padre.” Tovar walks to his horse and whispers his good mornings to the animal, sighing deeply when he hears footsteps approach him.

“Is there anything you wish to confess?” Tovar snorts a laughter before he turns around and attempts to hide his sarcastic remarks. “How long do you have Padre? Because I assure you, I have not confessed since I was a little boy.” Tovar is thankful that the priest understands the implications behind his words because he smiles and pats him on teh back before heading towards the church.

“My door is open should you change your mind.” Pero nods at the older man before he returns to attend to his horse, his mind recalling every second he spent worshiping your body and how sinful his name sounded falling from your lips.

It’s not until the sun is shining in the middle of the sky that you finally come to your senses. You open your eyes and look around the room for a moment, unable to recollect how you became in this room. When you take in a deep breath and smell the musky and heavy scent of something alien to your senses, memories of the previous night come crashing into your mind and you sit up instantly. You’re frantically looking around but there is not a single sign of Tovar. Removing the sheets, you flush at the sight of the mess that meets your eyes before you cover yourself once more.  

It was no dream then. He was here, in your bed, pleasuring you all night long.

Images of the Spaniard hunched over you and driving his cock into your cunt flash into your mind’s eye and you’re hiding in your pillows when you remember what he’s said to you and what you moaned for him in return. 

But not everything that comes through your hazed memories was pleasant and you remembered some of the things he’s whispered to you, and the last request you asked of him. You wished him to be here, even told him so and he was gone. He chose to leave you alone after laying with you. 

A loud knock came through the door and you tiptoed to the barrier to ask who was calling on you.

“Miss, I was told to bring you a hot bath. You want me to come back another time?” A young girl half-yelled from the hallway and you thanked God you didn’t have to walk around the rest of the day with the stench of sex and god knows what else sticking on your skin.

“No, no. Now is perfect thank you. Just, please give me a moment to collect my bearings.” 

Tovar remains in the barnhouse all day long, not trusting himself to leave for fear of seeking you out. He dozes off at some point, and dreams of your sweaty skin sliding deliciously against his as you ride his cock and cum around him. He dreams of your lips softly caressing his own as you beg him to take you over and over again. He dreams of your soft hands massaging the pain away as he kisses every inch of your skin. He dreams and dreams until the neighs of the horses wake him from his sleep. He sits up immediately to inspect them only to find your beast beating down its hooves as it nudges its head outside the barn windows. Looking outside of the door, Tovar is planted in his place as he watches you make your way into the church. There is a hurry in your footsteps and he can barely make out the expression painted on your beautiful features. He ceases to breathe when he notices your furrowed eyebrows and the way you wipe frantically at your cheeks.

You’ve been crying. And he is sure he is the reason for your tears. For your regrets. And for your broken vows. 

Tovar is incapable of moving a muscle and he knows very well he is the last person you probably wish to see. Grabbing his belongings, he struts back to the inn and ascends to his room, pausing for a moment to look at your door before he pushes into the one across and slams the wooden barrier behind him. 

Back in the church, the Priest can only stand aside as you kneel at the altar, crying and begging God for forgiveness. 

“For...for I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this- this...oh Christ, this evil in Your sight. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Please...my Lord, my God...a broken and a contrite heart, these, O God, You will not despise. Forgive me, have mercy on me. I have sinned before You and I- I have no one else to comfort me. Oh God, I- from the depths of my heart, I beg for Your forgiveness and I ask for Your guidance. I cannot lie to myself any longer, nor can I hide from him. He is my...my everything. Forgive me, f-forgive me.” You’re openly weeping in your hands as you stand and move towards the exit, coming to a halt when you see the Priest standing near the candles.

Walking towards him, you wipe the tears away and look to the floor as you come to a stop in front of him.

“How are you feeling this morning?” His voice is kind and calming and you silently thank God for sending you such a messenger. 

“I cannot lie to you Father, I have seen better nights.” You smile nervously at him and he returns the gesture, nodding in silence before he asks you to walk with him. 

“As much as it pains me to admit this to you, I- I cannot bless your relationship with this man.” You nod in affirmation as he brings you to the door of the church and stops. “I understand that last night was a difficult trial for you, and in a way, for him as well. But you know now, that it has become a temptation...should you, should you choose to go to him.” You can tell he is both sad and uncomfortable by the words he’s speaking to you. 

“I understand Father. But, I- if there is a slither of a chance that I could be with him, I must take it. I must. Forgive me.” You gulp nervously before you move past him and out the church, wiping the tears from your eyes as you make your way back to the inn. As soon as you walk in, you head to the innkeeper and ask him if he’s seen Tovar. He trips over his words and avoids your gaze, quickly telling you that he saw him ascend to his bedroom not too long ago. You thank him before heading up to his chambers, silently begging for your heart to slow down before you knock on his door. 

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand and knock three times, furrowing your eyebrows when you are met with silence. Knocking once more, you wait with patience and begin to feel nervous when Tovar doesn’t respond. You’re about to try one last time when the door swings open and causes you to almost trip as you back away. 

Tovar’s furious expression melts away at the sight of you, and he barely holds back from pulling you into his arms and comforting you. 

“What do you want?” You wince at his tone and feel your chest tighten when he doesn’t move to let you in. 

“I- I wish to s-speak with you. If- I mean...if that is alright with you.” You’re stuttering again and Tovar finds it endearing that you’re somehow nervous in his presence when, not hours ago, he was pulling the most beautiful sounds from your mouth. Reluctantly, Tovar steps aside and lets you into the room, waiting for you to halt in your steps so he could remain as far away from you as possible.

“Speak,” he knows he should be more kind, a bit softer at least. But he can’t bare his heart to you again, not when you’ve come here to reject him, or perhaps tell him that you couldn’t remain in the company anymore. 

“I- about last night...I wanted to- that is, I’ve been...I was wondering if you- oh God.” Tovar can barely understand a word you’re saying and his impatience is growing by the second so he does the only thing he is capable of.

“You don’t have to say anything princesa, I know.” He pulls you away from your thoughts with a gruff response.

“Y-you do?”

“It was nothing, a mistake. We will not speak of it to anyone, sí?” Tovar snarls the words at you and it takes everything not to break down in front of him. So he’s known of your feelings, and he called what you’ve done last night a mistake. Who knew that rejection could hurt this much.

“Oh. I- I see.” Your voice breaks as you continue to ring your fingers nervously, unsure if there was anything left for you to say. Tovar is confused by your body language and he almost steps towards you to take your hands in his own and comfort you, but he stops himself. 

“So all of what- what you said to me was, it was just in the heat of the moment?” You can’t stop yourself from asking him as you look at him with hope in your eyes. There must have been some truth to them. There had to be. You don’t realize you’re stepping closer to him until the next few moments pass by. 

“You, I- I gave you everything that I am. Everything that I’ve kept for- for decades. And you’re telling me there isn’t a single ounce of affection in that god-forsaken cold heart of yours? I- what more do you want from me? I have nothing else that isn’t yours. Please, I- oh god...” Tovar is shocked at the turn of events and he doesn’t stop you when you begin to beat his chest until he sees how much you’re hurting your own hands. 

“Hermosa what-”

“I’ve given you my body, my- my heart...my soul. And you- you stand there and mock me with how little I matter to you.” You know you shouldn’t admit any of those affections to him and yet you’re incapable of hiding any longer. Tovar’s arms are suddenly tightening around your shaking form and you find yourself calming when you breathe in his scent. 

Tovar wholeheartedly believes he is dreaming because he is sure you would never say such words to him. He gives you all the time in the world to take your frustrations out on him, softly shushing you and rubbing at the back of your neck when you begin to sob again. You’re not sure how much time passes and when you finally pull away, you’re met with a soft pair of brown eyes that carried the weight of so many secrets in them. 

“Hermosa, I-”

“I’m sorry, that was...you didn’t deserve this. I- I should go.” You’re about to slip from his arms when Tovar pulls you back in and molds his lips with yours in a chaste kiss. You let him walk you to the bed and sit you down, never once letting go of him as he keeps his skin on yours. 

You want to ask him a million questions when you finally pull away, but your eyes shift to the beaded necklace around his neck and you recognize it immediately. Rubbing the rosary between your fingers and his chest, you look into his eyes once more and understand what he was silently telling you. What’s been hidden in those venomous words he’d thrown at you ever since you joined the company. 

“Pero.”

“Mi amor, forgive me. I never wished to hurt you so. I- I hoped that you’d one day return my feelings but- I...mierda. I tried to come to terms with your vows and I failed. I’ve been selfish and… last night was, it was- it was the best night of my life. But I knew that you would regret it once you woke up and I couldn’t be there when you looked at me with mistrust. I wish I could tell you that I regretted it...you weren’t yourself and it was, it was against your will. But I wouldn’t take back a single moment. Not one. You were finally in my arms querida and it was everything I’ve prayed for.” Your heart is beating violently at your chest and you swear he can probably hear it.

“Pero, I- I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t you.” Your confession is enough to break down all of the walls he’s built ever since you came into his life and he’s smiling at you before he remembers how you came to this moment. You frown when you watch his smile fade and he turns away from you.

“No hermosa. I- I cannot do this to you. Last night was...forced. I cannot tempt you to break your vows again. I love you Y/N. More than you will ever know. I cannot be the one to come between you and your God again.” You cease to breathe when you hear him admit that he loves you with immense ease. And you decide then and there what you want. 

“Pero, I do not see a life for myself where you are not in it. Where I am not sleeping in your arms every night. I cannot lie to myself anymore. I- I love you. You have my heart. Believe me when I tell you that I choose this for myself.” Your words ignite a fire in Tovar’s chest and he almost cries at what you were willing to do for him. 

Silence grows between the two of you before Tovar breaks it. 

“Marry me.”

“W-what?”

“Marry me hermosa. Marry me and you do not have to disobey your God, and I- I will be with you until the day I die.” His exclamation is beyond shocking and you’re not sure what to make of it because as far as you can tell, he is right.

“Tovar, I- you must understand that you need to be baptized to marry me?” You’re not sure why you ask him such a question but you want to be certain he understands what he is walking into. 

“No I do not cariño, I’ve already been baptized when I was a young boy.”

“You’re Catholic?” 

“By birth...but you know as well as I that I have not practiced in a long time. I- I can try to if you wish me t-”

“I could never force you to do something your heart does not long for. As far as I know, and in the eyes of the church, you need only be baptized.” You shrug, your mind already running with thoughts of how the Priest in the village would react when you return to him alongside Tovar. 

“So you will marry me?” Tovar is beaming with joy at your rationale and he’s squeezing your hands, praying you would end his agony and agree to become his wife. 

“Yes, a thousand times yes.” You jump into his arms and meet his lips once more, savoring the natural taste of them and moaning against him as he deepens the kiss and twists his tongue across yours. You feel his hands skimming down your form and you sigh when he grabs your backside and pulls you into his lap until you’re straddling him.

“Tell me mi amor, is it a sin if I make love to my future wife?” He’s kissing down your chin and nipping at your neck, making it difficult for you to form a coherent thought yet again. 

“Hmm, I’m not- oh God...I don’t know Pero. But- I...I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t confess about later.” You squeal when Tovar turns the two of you around and pushes you beneath him. There is a dangerous glint in his eyes and you twist your fingers in his hair to bring him closer to you. 

“In that case,” Tovar looks up towards the ceiling and you raise a curious eyebrow at him before he returns his attention to you once more, “forgive me Father, for I am about to sin.” 

Translations (please message me to correct the Spanish): Princesa - Princess ¡Váyase! - Go away! Buenas noches - Good night. Mierda - Shit Cállate - Shut up. Hijo de puta madre - Son of a bitch. Querida - Sweetheart Hermosa - Beautiful No importa - It’s not important or it doesn’t matter. Lo siento - I'm sorry. De nada - You’re welcome. Padre - Father Sí - Yes Perdóname - Forgive me. Magnífico - Magnificent Dios mío - My god Cariño - Dear/Honey Escupe - Spit (imperative form) Mi amor - My love/My sweetheart Relájate - Relax (imperative form) Mi cielo - My heaven Eres perfecto - You’re perfect. Te amo más de lo que nunca sabrás. - I love you more than you’ll ever know. Ven aquí y bésame! - Come here and kiss me!

Biblical References (because I can’t not footnote and I am shameless) Matthew 6:14-15, Psalm 6, Psalm 121, Galatians 5:17, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, Psalm 3, Psalm 23,  Psalm 26, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Matthew 7:7-8, John 8:32,  Psalm 57,  Psalm 69, Proverbs 6:25, Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:28,  Psalm 51

Tagging some people who showed interest in this fic: @blueeyesatnight @purple-mango @mouthymandalorian @namay @kesskirata @starlightmornings @pedro-pastel @the-ginger-hedge-witch @pedropastelpascal @mothandpidgeon @romanosgirl1978 @littlebopper96 @fan-of-encouragement @feelmyroarrrr @metalarmsandmanbuns @tremistqueen @sebastianruinedme @im-not-great-at-making-up-names @a-bang-for-your-bucky @queensoybean @kat-r-in @blackmarketmummy @fleurdemiel145

#Pero Tovar #Pero Tovar/Reader #Pero Tovar x Reader #Pero Tovar Fanfiction #Pero Tovar smut #Pero Tovar angst #Pero Tovar Fluff #The Great Wall #Pedro Pascal

[dodo-begone]

Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

Pairing: Yan!Xisuma x Reader (idk if it's rlly yan tbh)

Request: If you’re up to it can I get yandere nHo hcs? Bc I’m desperate for nHo content, But if you don’t know enough about the nHo boys can you do a continuation of your yandere xisuma fic? bc it was really good👀

Word count: 5k words

Warning: Falling, Depression, Death, Yandere (?)(just a bit posessive/protective at the end), Bit of confusion/memory loss, Mention of Running Away

This is a Part 2 to Ugly Fuckling

If this EVER looks funky or glitched, here's a link to it on Ao3.

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A methodical ticking echoes around the room, the only indicator that time was passing. The room was nearly a blinding black, yet a ray of moonlight made its way into the room. From that, you were able to see Xisuma. Without his helmet covering his face, he looked much more welcoming and soft. It wasn’t like he wasn’t soft and welcoming anyways, he just looked so much softer and approachable. A real person - man what were you even thinking?

Mentally shaking off that train of thought, you let your mind wander onto a different topic. Since Xisuma stopped you from following through with your impulsive decision to leave, he hadn’t exactly let you out of his sight. A few of your activities were free from his supervision, but otherwise you were with him.

At first you felt like an absolute bother to him, but his insistence that it was all fine made things better. Minimally better, if you were to speak honestly. It didn’t alleviate your feelings at all. He was being so nice and attentive to you and your needs. And what were you doing with that? You were being the little debbie downer that you are and not getting better. Come on, this was all for you. That meant you had to get better for him since he was putting so much effort into making you get better.

He made you all of your favorite foods, cuddled you any time even a tear fell from your eyes, asked about what was worrying or saddening you and trying to talk you through it to feel better, and so much more. All around it was everything you needed, really it was. Everything was getting better, yet you weren’t.

This had been going on for days, and you were still thinking of leaving. Though technically you did. Maybe the entire server moved with you. Maybe that fact could be ignored. Maybe. Everyone gathered up and went to a new server not too long after your most recent “escape” attempt. You weren’t sure if it was the unsaid yearly move to a new season or what, but it seemed a little too convenient if you thought about it. But thinking was a laborious and bothersome task. So no thoughts - only depression. Yea, that’s how things rolled for you.

The thought of leaving was far from leaving your mind. It was always on the backburner, but became a prominent thought whenever you weren’t with anybody. Especially Xisuma. Voices whispered to feed your insecurities, giving a source for your depression to grow off of. And boy was it growing. Adding in this new move made you question a bit more.

You knew you wanted to leave the server because of how icky, disgusting and disappointing you were, but now you were truly realizing where the issue lay. Wel, you knew before, but it just became more evident. It wasn’t the server itself. The issue lay between you and the hermits. So that feeling of not belonging? Still rather prominent. Even with their fresh new start where everyone had the same resources, said “resources” were nonexistent since everyone started with nothing, it was rather evident you still didn’t belong.

Grian was the only one who didn’t build a “starter house” immediately. That made two hermits you knew who didn’t make a starter house. The two hermits being you and Grian, so that made you feel better. Until you found out the reason he didn’t make a house was because he went to defeat the Ender Dragon and get loot from end cities. Yea that really didn’t make you feel better. And these “starter” builds the others made were no joke. They weren’t even starters, in your opinion. These were whole builds in and of themselves. Like things you’d be building late game, if you even got around to making anything that could compare.

Once again, your mind cemented that you were very alien to this group. Alongside the “new fodder” that you had, which was really recycled thoughts, memories, or insecurities, you started to cry. Stifling your sobs without being able to cover your mouth with your hands is a very hard task. All remaining strength you had went into calming your breath and being as silent as possible. You still allowed the tears to continue their route down your cheeks with no intent to stop them. If you only allow tears to flow with no noise, you can get your emotions out while not bothering Xisuma. A win-win.

Time was illusive, slipping through your hands like sand. One moment you were crying next to Xisuma in bed then a blink later you were waking up in an empty bed. The ever annoying sun was flaunting its energy and jovial beams into the room and blinding you with it. Man, how you envied the sun. It was able to get up every day and do its duty. And not even the duty it was exactly made for. One that it conveniently worked with. A necessity to life.

Still, you layed in bed. Too lethargic to move on your own; there was no will or energy to move. Well, there was one reason; you wanted to search for Xisuma. Where could he have gone off to? He wasn’t in the bed. Somewhere else in the house? Out on a project? Who knows. The likelihood of him being gone was high and that, along with the thoughts, kept you in the bed.

The day passed. Maybe you slept. You were still very tired and very sad, so it really made no difference in the end if you did actually sleep sometime that day since nothing changed. Snuggling into the blankets for warmth and comfort, you awaited for Xisuma’s return. Though you don’t remember him saying that he was going anywhere in particular yesterday. Did he? Memories blurred together and multiple days became one mushed memory. Many memories of him mentioning future projects to you or other things came to mind. How recent were those? Mulling over your memories, you tried to pinpoint when they happened based on some other memories. You referred to them as your “time reference memories”... They had a different name, but the name eludes you. But that was their purpose, so that name shall stay.

Soon a plethora of other memories came to mind as you quickly sorted through them. So they obviously didn’t take place in the same time area-frame thingy as when you joined the Hermitcraft server. That was months ago- clearly off the table. Then did they happen around the time you were building the trash on the server? Also a big no- that’s way too early. Oh dear- all the memories that were popping up were far too early. Crap- think. Think, think, think. Come on, more recent. What about when you tried to leave? Well it happened after that, but much closer.

A flash of memories pass behind your eyes yet you can’t decipher all of them. It was obviously some memories and you could faintly see some things, but it was all a blur of colors. You didn’t have the time for this right now. After you figure this out, you could reminisce on them. Now you had to figure out which memory out of the blob you had was most recent-

Staring at the ceiling did nothing to help. No new spark of memories came up, even with your mind scrambling for any scrap it could get its little grubby hands on. Great- now you were stuck going off of his appearance and what the house looked like during those times. Now the dilemma was “which came first”. Almost every memory took place in the house.

Wait! He didn’t have the diamond armor in all of them! Only two of them had diamond armor involved. Specifically on Xisuma. You didn’t have anything on this new server. Well, compared to him or any other hermit, anyways. To say you were behind or “lagging” was an understatement. Having iron armour isn’t really a flex. Especially when it goes missing. Like who just up and loses armor like that? You do, apparently.

That isn’t the point. Stay focused! So he had armor, what did the house look like? Or anything outside the window?

Finally a lightbulb went off in your mind. Of course! He talked about a fire last time. Yes, you were sure of you. Not sure why but you were very sure of that fact. He mentioned that some gravel on a mountain was on fire and he wasn’t sure why. Then he talked about a building in the next memory… Everything was starting to add up! Oh you felt so smart right now. So good.

So what mountain did he say he was going to? It was a villager hall, right? Or was it the future place for a build… No, villager hall because he mentioned villagers and trading. Obviously not another build. But what if it was? Now you were conflicted because you were so sure but at the same time doubt pranced around your mind obnoxiously. Your anxiety was getting ticked off more.

First the disappearance of Xisuma and now your worries are getting to you? Really, it was the opposite order. More of an Oreo, but that wasn’t important.

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your thoughts under control again. Regain you cool. Alright. If you find Xisuma then you can calm everything else down. That was your biggest worry right now. The longer you didn’t know Xisuma’s location and condition, the worse your mental state became. From there, it was obvious how everything would decline.

All you had to do was go to Xisuma. Right. Go to Xisuma. Who is outside. Out of the bed. Debating on whether or not to leave the comforting confines of the blankets or search for Xisuama was definitely something. It was hard but also wasn’t all at the same time. Because yes, staying in bed and being warm would be amazing. The preferred option. But you were worried about the lack of Xisuma’s presence. That took precedence over comfort.

Grumbling, you slowly start to drag yourself out of bed. More accurately rolling out and only turning to properly get out of bed and onto your feet. Same end result really. Slowly, as to not cause a dizzy spell, you get up and walk toward the door. Said dizzy spell still hits you like a baseball gets hit by a bat, but there was an attempt. Black overtakes your vision for a second before everything goes back to normal. Boy you didn’t miss those pounding headaches with dizzy spells. Damn vertigo.

Shaking your head, you steady yourself for the journey to the outside. It was going to be perilous. Well not really, but your mind tried to come up with the worse case scenarios. Like some Dream SMP members coming for you to drag you back. Or pillagers near or at the front door. Or some other nasty mob. Oh the possibilities were nearly endless. But you had to do this.

Hyping yourself up, you mentally prepare for what you could think of. Aka prepare for something bad like pain. To be fair, pain would be better than a Dream SMP member but pain still hurts.

A noise of annoyance leaves your lips as you once again try to get yourself back on track. You hated how easily distracted you got sometimes. Though it did help in some situations. Admitting to that wouldn’t be too helpful in any regard so back to ignoring it you go.

Soon you’re back on track and continuing your journey. The only thing standing between you and the outside world stared at you. The front door. It wouldn’t be for long. All you had to do was open it and then start the other leg of your journey and- wait.

The door greeted your face with a nice hearty slam as you walked right into it. Confusion was just written all over your face. You grabbed the knob, did you not? Taking a step back, you peer down. Low and behold, you were holding the door knob. Your brows furrowed as you twisted the knob. Nothing happened. Trying with more strength and vigor or whatever might do something? Maybe it’s just stuck. Unlikely but hey! Delusions are much sweeter and easier to swallow. Plus being more violent with an inanimate object makes it work! Usually, anyways. Beat a banana and you get mush so not always. That’s besides the point because the darn door still refused to open. Huffing, you try being a little harder with the door. Though that leads to nothing but you fearing it breaking. One creak escapes the poor door and you’re off of it like a puppy squealed rather than a door.

Anxiety started to bloom in your chest for the uptenth time or whatever. It’s happened a lot and that’s all that matters. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It’s just a door. If it breaks it can be replaced. Also it’s a door. It’s probably fine. Though you didn’t exactly want to test that. Who knows when the door is going to just say “nope! I’m done” and just break?

Leaning against the door, you slide to the floor as you think of another plan to leave. The door was locked, right? This is a brand new door we’re talking about. Rust couldn’t have shut it already, right? You were by the sea though so who knew what the salt and water was doing to it. That ruins doors, wood, and mentals, right? If only you were a builder or someone more fluent with stuff like this. Someone who knew how stuff like that worked. Because wow, you were beyond dumb on that subject.

You curl up in defeat. Bringing your knees to your face, you wrap your arms around them to secure them. To feel safer and smaller. Block out the world. All you wanted to do was stay there, just like that. Not that exact position, but you want to feel comforted and safe. A craving for belonging and love. Although something you craved, whenever it was just handed to you or offered, you turned it down. Nobody actually likes you. They just want to use you.

Everyone has used you in the past for something.

Tears started to form in your eyes. As you lift your head from the curl, you take a deep breath. This is annoying, tiring. Crying is useless right now. Nothing is going to be fixed this way.

As you subdued the tears, you looked around the house again. There had to be another exit, right? Maybe. Half of the houses you’ve lived in only had one entrance or exit. The other half either had a secret exit or another doorway. This wasn’t one of the latter, though. It was one of the former; you were only informed of one way to exit or enter the house. Xisuma didn’t mention any emergency escape. Well there weren’t any holes in the house besides that- OH WAIT!

Smacking your forehead, you scramble to your feet and look directly at the closest window. If it had the ability to, it’d probably be sweating out of fear or anxiety. Either or, that window wasn’t going to have a good time. Fortunately for you, though, the window couldn’t judge you. And the window is very easy to climb out of.

Walking closer for inspection, it didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to open. Just flick a latch or two and just lift the bottom. You’re home free after that. The latches weren’t an issue. Grabbing the bottom of the glass, you silently pray that it won’t be as stubborn as the door.

Some deity was feeling nice today because the window opened without much trouble. A little elbow grease but that was a small price to pay. Now started the awkward maneuvering to get outside. This was one thing you didn’t miss from your past.

First a leg, then the other, and slide later, you land ungraceful into the outside world. Either you were going to land on your face or bum and you didn’t want any of that. So instead you did a nice little dance.

Okay so dance would be the fun way of stating it. What happened was you stumbled around for a bit, waving your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance. But you get to stay on your feet, so the trade off of your dignity was well worth it. Plus nobody was around to see it.

Once balanced, you were in awe of the builds that were just a wall away. How much has changed since you last came out? How long were you inside? You only remember the comically tall portal and the partial build of the portal tower being around when you came. Besides the starting house and a few other small things, of course. But now there were two completed towers. The dark one was obviously the portal tower because of the color scheme. What was the other than? It was colored like a lighthouse with the red and white bands encompassing it, but you didn’t want to say anything definitely. After all, it was somewhat hard to tell.

The coloration indicated a lighthouse, along with the silhouette, but it looked a bit too artistically done. And when something is artistically done, it could be anything. So you’ll call it tower two! Tower two was rather pretty!

Xisuma wasn’t around though. Right. The mountain wasn't around here, was it? Where was it, anyways? It must’ve been pretty far away.

With the prospects of a long walk ahead of you, your shoulders slump. Dear lord, this was more work than you wanted to go through. Who knows how far it is! But it wasn’t just some walking for fun, it had a purpose.

Gathering your remaining energy and grit, you start the laborious, long, and treacherous journey through the continent for Xisuma. Hiking wasn’t your strong suit and keeping an eye out for Xisuma too? This makes everything so much harder.

You were only able to get off the island and back onto the mainland, where you started to scale the mountain before you heard a ruckus. Progressively, it got louder and more discernible. Yelling. Sounded like words. Gibberish, but it slowly grew clearer.

“Oh my gosh,” danced with the wind by your ears. “Oh no.” A cry of your name, or something really similar. Were those words? Those couldn’t be words, right? Whipping your head around, you see Xisuma running your way frantically. Okay, so those were most definitely words if the scene before you proved anything.

Excited, you start your descent back to the ground. Step by step. Is it step by step when you’re climbing? Your focus is on Xisuma. Pretty much entirely. It really shouldn’t have as you misjudge the next step. In the blink of an eye you went from viewing rock to viewing sky and a scary feeling building in your chest. The feeling grew exponentially and it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on.

A scream ripped its way from your chest as it tightened more. Said scream doesn’t last long for it ended as quickly as it came. No air could move, no noise could come out any more. Air was stuck in your throat, unable to reach your lungs. Fear paralyzed your muscles, eyes shut for there was no difference in the view. Everything was blurred and the black was more welcoming and comforting.

Too fast. Time wasn’t even a consideration. A social construct thrown out the window as soon as your fingers lose contact with the rocks.

The ground had to be near by now. It felt like hours passed now, but at the same time everything seemed to be zipping by.

Contact is made, and you expect it to be the end. You grunt as all remaining air is forced from your body. Another noise came from beneath you. Gasping for air, panic made you feel so cold. Is this what death felt like? No air was coming in and you definitely hit the ground. Were you going to die because you slipped up?

Black was encompassing your vision once again. Frantic attempts to regain air were barely rewarded for your lungs remained mostly empty. Everything still felt paralized, but now your chest felt worse. It hurt so much.

Something was moving beneath you. Pink entered your failing vision. It shifted you around, moving your head and body. More accurately, it moved. Your head was placed on a soft surface while your body was on something else.

Slowly your vision ebbed back to reality. Or you did. Everything still felt wonky. But an axolotl helmet came to greet you. That was a nice thing about your vision clearing, you guessed. Pretty pink axolotl.

“Are you okay,” the axolotl shakily asks. It’s hands were shaking and it sounded masculine.

“Yea,” your voice felt and sounded weird. Very airy, frail, and kinda delirious. You know, the “I don't feel right” type of delirious. Is that delirious? Oh wait you were talking! “Yea i’m good.”

“Are you sure,” the axolotl keeps persisting. It seemed to be looking over you for any injuries. How nice of it! “Double sure? Triple sure? No scrapes? Nothing hurts?”

“I’m absolutely sure,” you assure. Man this was a comfy place and you wanted to stay here longer, but you need to get standing. With shaky arms and legs, you unsteadily get up, stumbling or leaning a bit too much at times. The axolotl panics and helps you to your feet, never letting go afterwards. You thank it for its help and try to walk away, back to Xisuma’s house. Though it assists you, staying by your side as if it were attached with cement.

“You need to stop doing stuff like this,” it begs, leading you by the elbow. “It’s like everytime i’m gone, you purposely go get yourself into trouble, get hurt, or try to leave. I don’t get it. Why do you keep doing it?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. What’s it even talking about?

Suddenly a thought hits you like lighting and everything starts to line up. This is literally Xisuma. How did you forget that? He changes skins with every new season. Wow you either hit your head, panicked and forgot every important detail ever, or you really needed the oxygen for those brain cells because they finally got what they needed to function.

“Sorry,” you really are sorry. For half of those things, if not almost all of them. If you were simply allowed to go back to the Dream smp in peace, you would be completely fine. Not a bother to the hermits, not a walking hazard to society, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate anymore… Actually that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went or what you did. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

Xisuma doesn’t reply to your words and you start to panic again. “You weren’t in the house and I got really anxious, okay? I didn’t remember where you said you were going and I just… I needed a hug. I know that sounds stupid or childish, but i wasn’t feeling good. And you said that if I needed something, I'd just have to go to you. Oh who am i kidding, this was the dumbest thing ever. I’m so so sorry for bothering you-” Tears started to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision entirely. You were thankful that you weren’t walking alone while like this. Who knew what else you’d get yourself hurt on.

Not only were your words stopped, but your whole body was too. Jerked back by Xisuma, your teary eyes look directly at his visor which only reflects back your pitiful face. Though you don’t see it for long as you’re pulled into a hug by Xisuma. This only causes you to cry harder.

“Hey hey hey,” Xisuma’s voice is a low murmur, a comforting rumble from his chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. Did I not tell you where I was going before I left?”

Shaking your head, a tiny “no” escapes you between sobs. Xisuma just hugs you tighter and you snuggle closer. That’s if you can, but you still try.

“Oh i’m so sorry,” he starts to pat and rub your back in a comforting manner, repeatedly apologizing for forgetting to tell you. And other things. Though you can’t exactly tell what they are through your sobbing.

It takes ages for you to calm down. You don’t really have much to go off of, besides the sun. What was once a noon sun glaring down on you was a peaceful sunset over the ocean. When you finish crying, only shaky breaths and tear stains remain to show off the previous crying fit. That and the red eyes.

The sunset is pretty, so you focus on that. Positioning your face to not have it smooshed into Xisuma’s chestplate was a struggle since he was holding you so tightly. But you managed. Soon your face wasn’t full on smooshed into his chest plate, only the side. Your cheek was definitely doing that pancake thing which smooshes out like a flat tire.

Everything’s so peaceful and quiet. Only the waves and sea life disturb it, but it made a great background noise. Xisuma soon adds to everything with some light humming. Rumbling from the chest is so comforting. Why was it such a forgettable yet amazing thing? It felt so nice.

With the humming came some rocking. Going side to side, humming a nonsensical tune. Not long after, you join in as well. Yours was definitely less consistently though, for it was broken up but little giggles. The longer you two went on, the more you giggled.

His arms unwrap themselves and you feel disappointed and saddened by the loss. You needn’t wait for long though, as on both sides of your body, you suddenly feel a tingly sensation. Bursting out into laughter, you try to struggle away from the tickle attack Xisuma has launched on you. But he’s relentless, keeping up with your retreat. It’s only when you’re out of breath, on the ground, and playfully yelling your surrender at him, that he stops.

You two start to calm down again. Laughter slowly ebbed away to chuckles or silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward silence by any means. A safe and comforting one.

“Come on,” Xisuma prompts, getting up from the crouched position he had to be in for his attack, giving out his hand when he was properly on his feet. “Let’s get home before mobs start to spawn.” You’re more than happy to take his hands. With a pull, you’re brought back to your feet. But you two don’t let go of each other’s hands.

Together you two finish the trek home, and rather quickly too. With the sun setting, it was just a matter of minutes before danger would appear. Luckily you two made it to safety without any issues. The beginning area Xisuma had set up was well lit, safe from the dark and the dangers it harbors.

Being back in the base area made you feel more at peace, calmer, less endangered. Whatever you wanted to say, but you felt safer. And everything looked so pretty at night! You really need to come out more with Xisuma. Staring in awe at the builds in a different light, you and Xisuma dawdle on home.

Everything was perfect again. Just like before. You were happy, Xisuma was happy, what else could you need.

Xisuma walks ahead of you to unlock the front door, to which you say a little “thank you” out of habit and slip on by him and into the house. You do mean it, but still, it’s a habit drilled into you.

After getting back into the house, with some idle chit-chat, you start to get things fixed up in the house. Some dinner was in order for the two of you. After all, you just tried to climb a mountain to find Xisuma and who knows if Xisuma actually ate today. Plus you haven't had anything to eat yet. Whoops.

Leaving Xisuma to his own devices, you continue your conversation as you prepare a meal.

You don’t notice him locking the door and windows, or the dark look he has when he sees the window open, or him putting the keys in his pocket after locking all of the other windows. When he doesn’t reply immediately, though, you turn toward the last direction you heard him from, only to reveal an empty house. Perplexed, you look around a bit, but are stopped by a tap on your shoulder.

Jumping, you whirl around to see Xisuma without his helmet on, chuckling at your reaction. Laughing along with him, you give him a nudge with your hip. He returns it, laughing harder when you’re bumped away from him. This goes on for a while as you cook dinner, with Xisuma helping you.

The night goes on like this. Full of gentle, playful antics and a loving atmosphere. The love you felt was immense. You hadn’t felt happier in months.

Xisuma hasn’t been so scared in months either.

He should’ve secured the house better. Made sure you were fine before he left. Locked the windows before he left.

Now he knows to lock windows. You’d try to use them in the future. Better a situation where you went looking for him than you leaving him. But now he knew.

And all was good again.

#mcyt x reader #hermitcraft x reader #xisuma x reader #yandere xisuma x reader #yandere hermitcraft x reader #yandere mcyt x reader #yandere x reader #x reader #mcyt shipping #hermitshipping #yandere mcyt #yandere hermitcraft #yandere xisuma #yandere #hermitcraft!xisuma #tw: yandere #tw: falling #tw: depression #tw: death #tw: memory loss #tw: mental health #tw: mental illness #tw: running away #dodo writing

[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

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Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

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Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

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Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

#sanders sides ships #sanders sides #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #moceit #intrulogical #prinxiety #and a sprinkle of #dukeceit #logince #I know I have pretty basic tastes #it takes me a lot to warm to a couple #I blame the fandom for making these so appealing #i couldn't help myself