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cherryblossom-heart · 1 year

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No, you can't call me her name (S.R)

Steve Rogers x Reader

Masterlist

P.T. 2 of Can I call you her name?

Summary: It’s funny how they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

9.8k words

Content Warning: Angst, heartbreak, Steve’s side of the story, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (slight mentions of penetrative sex), fluff from an spectators point of view, big talks about heartbreak and emotional damage because of a relationship.

A/N: It's finally here! I hope you guys enjoy it and sorry it took longer than I thought it would.

Post dividers by @firefly-graphics

For as long as he can remember, Steve’s life has been plagued by an unstoppable force of people leaving his life, whether it was by death itself, broken relationships, or just time. He had lost his mom when he was only eighteen years old, left alone to figure out his place in a vicious world that had no place for someone like him.

He had also lost Bucky. Except that this time, it wasn't death that did it, at least not entirely. He had lost his brother that day when he fell from the moving train. Everyone, including himself, had thought of him as dead, as it would be impossible for him to survive the fall. The second time he lost him was when he realized what he had become.

Steve had also lost Tony for a while, but the relationship was still on its way to becoming what it once was. He had lost Peggy, the possibility of a life with the woman who had won his heart for the first time.

He had lost stability ever since he woke up from the ice. Things in his life always seemed to fluctuate between okay and bad without warning. Every day could be the day he lost someone else, or something bad could happen to the rest of the world, which would always fall on his shoulders to fix.

That was until she came.

Steve never meant to fall for her. In the beginning, she was just a coworker, someone he had met through S.H.I.E.L.D. and who he would occasionally see during briefing meetings. There was no love at first sight or a sudden realization that he had found the person he had been looking for to complete him.

First, it was just a talk, small talk that turned into something more comfortable once they shared that they grew up in the same neighborhood, at different points in time, but the familiarity of the past was enough to entice him.

One day, he noticed how he was unconsciously waiting for her to cross the door, hoping she would look at him and wave him hello. Another day, he realized how much he liked when she smiled at him, his own smile mimicking hers, and how he would fix his hair and clothes before going into a room she was going to be in.

From that moment on, he was a goner.

She had turned into that piece of stability he had been missing in his life. Their relationship meant he had something to grow attached to, someone to come back to. The veil of loneliness that lingered in his life was slowly lifted with her help, and Steve no longer felt out of place. He was no longer a man out of time.

Things moved on quickly. Six months later, they moved in together, and the confidence they both had in their decision tuned out other people's input about the relationship. Mostly Bucky, who had warned him not to go in too deep, but Steve, as brave and selfless as he could be, was also stubborn.

For five years Steve was able to go back home and it would actually feel like one. For five years, no matter how hard things got, he was always good. Happy. Content. Because for five years he had her at his side, no matter what life would throw at them.

Everything was stable for a while. But the one thing Steve failed to realize was that just because you are happy where you are, that doesn’t mean things will stay the same. Good things rarely last, and time moves too fast.

Steve never saw it coming when she came home one day and told him she had taken a job on the other side of the country. The news that she had been planning this for a while blindsided him. He was aware that things weren't as good as they used to be; a certain amount of tension had lingered between them for the past half year of their relationship. But he thought they could work on it, fix whatever had been broken, and go back to how things were.

After all, he has always been a fighter. No matter how difficult, no matter how unlikely, no matter how painful, as long as there was hope, he would fight.

Except this time, he should’ve given up.

"Because I don’t love you anymore!"

"I can’t keep living in this—this farce. Every time I come home, I wish you weren’t here. I wish I was alone in this house because at least then I could breathe, and I wouldn’t have to pretend I still feel something when you touch me."

"I need to get away from you, because if I don't, I’ll never leave, and in twenty years, I’ll wake up and realize that I spent my life with someone I have never truly loved."

Pain and grief weren’t foreign concepts for him. He embraced them, learned from them, and moved on.

Steve Rogers knew pain from the battlefield. He had been shot, stabbed, burned, and punched by beings ten times stronger than him. He also knew pain from the loss of a friend, the loss of his life, and from the loss of someone he loved.

But the pain of losing your one silver lining in a sea of darkness was too much to bear.

After that, life was a blur spent between missions, training, and gathering intel. Mission after mission, report after report, months passed until he finally realized it had been almost a year and a half since she left.

His hair had changed, his beard had grown, and some might even say he got bulkier as his coping mechanism ever since he got the super serum had been breaking boxing bags. He had moved back into the tower, and his hobby of drawing had stopped completely. The notebook he had half filled with sketches was left untouched in one of the drawers of his desk.

Things had changed, except for the emptiness of his chest.

But then you came.

You came into his life in such an unexpected way that it took him by surprise. a beautiful woman covered in coffee and whipped cream who had such a colorful vocabulary. You were like the whiff of fresh air he had needed for so long, and the more he got to know you, the more he was intrigued by you. He praised your perseverance and enthusiasm for your work, noting that you always gave your all to every project you worked on.He also admired your strength, perhaps not physical but emotional, and the way that no one could make you crumble apart. Not your boss, your coworkers, or humiliation itself.

Not even him.

Steve was well aware of your feelings for him from the start.The way your eyes would shine when he touched you or the sound of your heartbeat kicking against your chest when your eyes connected. He saw every change in you when you went from liking him to loving him. You had never explicitly said the words, but there was no need, you couldn’t mask the emotions that hid behind your eyes.

He knew your feelings towards him from the very beginning, and yet he stayed. He stayed because he liked the way you made him feel and that the loneliness that had taken over his life was no longer there. He allowed himself to be loved by you just so the emptiness in his chest wouldn’t feel so deep anymore.

But Steve also knew he couldn’t love you back. His heart didn’t belong to him anymore; it wasn’t his to give to someone else, as it had left those years ago with her. The way something broke inside you when you asked him for more almost made him break things up. It would’ve been the best thing for you; you were his friend, yet he had no problem hurting you.

However, your relationship had shown Steve a quality he never thought he had. He was a selfish man. He couldn't let you go, not when you were the only thing keeping him afloat in the darkness. You were his lighthouse, and without you, he would drown, and he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to come back from it. So he said he needed time; he promised you a future that would never come just to keep you by his side.

Of all the shitty things Steve had done, he thought this was the worst one. Using you, playing with your feelings, and giving you false hope. He thought he couldn’t hurt you more than that.

Oh, he had been so wrong.

But now she had her back. And in the end, it was all that mattered, right? The woman he had been loving ever since she left had, for some reason, decided to take him back. Everything was supposed to be perfect and in place. He was whole now.

Then why was the emptiness in his chest still there?

"So, what do you think?"

Wide eyes scan the notebook you hold in your hands. For a moment, he thinks you hate it; the drawing of yourself he had made shows you in a compromising position. The sheets from your bed covered the lower half of your body while your arms extended over your head. Your breasts were perked up, and the soft lines ran along your shape in a seductive position as you lay down in bed.

However, it is your eyes that draw attention away from your frame.Your face is looking directly at the viewer, as if you were laying right in front of them in the flesh. The intensity he portrayed in them is the same one he always sees when you look at him. Steve knows what it is, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. Even when he tries to erase it from his mind, or when he looks away because he can’t bear to see them, they’re always there to greet him. And, if he is honest with himself, he can’t help but be drawn to them.

He likes how they make him feel.

You notice the fire in your eyes too. Your fingers softly trace along the lines of the drawing, making sure not to smudge them as it is only made out of pencil. Perhaps he should use one of those drawing pens you gifted to him on his birthday to immortalize your image on the paper; the pencil is too fragile to let your portrait sit on it. It’s a portrait he will like to preserve for eternity.

"Well, I think that documentary I watched on you lied to me," you say with a frown, eyes still glued to the notebook.

What?

His chest sinks a little; maybe you didn’t like it as much as he had thought you would.

"What do you mean?"

You look up, and his heart soars. You have the same look, now complimented with a coy smile.

"They said you were a good artist, but it turns out you’re amazing."

Your smile is bigger now, and it's contagious. Steve crosses your bed, your bedsheets slipping down his body as he reaches for you. One of his hands grabs the back of your neck to bring you close for a kiss, while the other goes to your hip. The weight of his body pushes you down to your back; his notebook is discarded next to you.

He can feel your smile as he crashes his lips against yours. A hand rests on his chest as delicate fingers bury themselves in his hair. The way you massage his scalp sends shivers down his spine, a trick you discovered the second time you slept together.

With a teasing smile on your now puffy lips, you break the kiss apart."Well, someone has a praise kink."

Heat flushes Steve’s face. The sweet notes of your laugh fill his ears; your head is thrown back slightly as your chest rumbles. You caress his face as your laugh decreases, your fingers brushing his hair as you adjust it. And there they are again, those eyes that burn deep in his soul as much as he tries to avoid them.

But he can’t bear to look at them. So he just nuzzles against your chest, the affectionate embrace taking you by surprise.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," he says quietly, almost as if he doesn't think you heard him.

He shouldn’t have done that. He means every word he says. Because right now, as he lays in your arms, he can forget about everyone else outside your apartment. Just for a few seconds, he can pretend.

He can pretend to forget about her.

"Me too," you whisper back.

The hopefulness of your words almost breaks him.

Darkness met Steve’s eyes as he opened them. It took him a second to remember he wasn’t back in your apartment, nor had you settled against him. Instead, the warmth he feels next to him is from the girl he yearned for in that memory, and the apartment he was settled in was hers.

He had dreamed about you nearly every night since you left. Taunting reminders of your affection for him haunted his dreams every time he closed his eyes, but this time he was unable to escape them. He expected the dreams to stop a couple of weeks after you left. However, as time passed and your absence in his life became more noticeable each day, they kept coming back. Each one was more vivid than the previous, as if his mind was desperate to see you, even if it was in the past.

"You okay?" Her whisper startled him slightly. He didn’t realize she was awake or that she was staring at him.

"Yeah, I’m fine." The unconvincing tone of his voice made her frown, but she left him alone. So many times she has asked the same question that his unwillingness to answer doesn’t really bother her anymore. "How long have you been awake?" He changed subjects.

She shrugged. "A couple of minutes." Her hand settled delicately on his chest, making him turn around to see her. "You were mumbling in your sleep."

"Oh, sorry," was all he said to her.

He returned to his sleeping position, his gaze fixed on the roof of her apartment. He'd been there for a few weeks, but he still couldn't get used to her white roof. Yours was also white, but something about this shade made him uncomfortable. Yours made him feel calm. Secure. At peace.

Maybe it was the neighborhood or the decor you had that made him feel like that.

Or maybe it was you.

Instead, he is left with uneasiness every time he comes to see her. Her cups were not where they were supposed to be. The towels she has have a different texture; they somehow felt rougher on his skin, and even the smell in the place is different. The unfamiliarity of the place almost swallowed him whole.

She laid on top of him, her hand tracing lazy circles on his chest as her lips left kisses on his neck. She’s trying to comfort him, but for some reason, the only thing he felt was an uneasiness that found its way to his chest.

"Was it a nightmare?"

"No." He answered quickly, almost too quickly.

In his dreams, your eyes still carried that same warmth. You still made him feel, even if it’s just a memory.

"It was a pretty good dream."

Why do things have to be so complicated, even when they are supposed to be perfect?

Steve had a plan for the night. He had cooked dinner, set the table, and even gone to grab her favorite scented candles. Everything was in place.

He needed a distraction. Or more like a reminder that even if he didn’t have you in his life for the moment, he still had his silver lining. He still had her. He needed to remind himself that everything had turned out for the best, and what better reminder than spending the night together?

The plan started well; she got home, took a shower, and they both sat down to have a great dinner. He had done this many times when they lived together. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she saw his surprise and the way she would smile all evening. Nights like that always brought them together.

However, things may not always be as perfect as they once were.

He couldn’t remember how it had started. Perhaps it was the way he had cooked the food or the mess he had left in the kitchen, or maybe she just had a rough day at work. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but they started arguing. They had argued in the past, as many couples do, but even in the middle of a screaming match, he could feel the love between the words. And no matter how bad it was, he always felt the need to stay.

But this time it suffocated him.

The more they kept fighting, the more the room seemed unbearable to be in. He didn’t like the way she kept saying things about him she didn’t like, the things he had done wrong. He also didn’t like the way he could so easily think of things about her that he found irritating.

And as she stood up to lock herself in her bedroom, he didn’t feel the need to go check on her. With an anger that seeped deeply through his veins, he slammed the door. He didn’t say a word to her, not even leaving a note behind.

There had been a few times when Steve Rogers felt nervous.

He had felt like that when he was given the serum. The pain he felt once his bones started growing was one he would never forget. He also felt it when he crashed into the ice, saving the city that saw him grow up. The world had moved on for seventy years before he woke up.

And as he looked at the door of the conference room and his leg bounced up and down, Steve felt the same way he felt all those times.

Sixty-eight days had gone by since the last time you spoke. For sixty-eight days he had been waiting for this day, when you finally got back from your trip and had to come to the tower to discuss things with him. Work-related things, of course, as you had left it really clear you didn’t want anything else to do with him.

He had been debating all night whether he would try to apologize again. His heart begged him to do it, to keep trying until you heard his apology. But his rational mind would remind him of the phone call you had the day you left. You didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, and he couldn’t blame you.

So, instead of keeping apologizing over and over again, he would treat you as if you were just a coworker. He would pretend as if you were a stranger that he had just met. A stranger that knew his deepest, darkest secrets. A stranger that brought him comfort with just her touch A stranger, whose heart he had shattered

Everything he had planned fell apart the moment you walked into the room and raised your gaze to him. You were there, walking in as if nothing had happened two months ago. But this was not his you.

There was ice around you, a barrier so tall and thick that he could almost feel it as you got closer. You looked the same. The same clothes he had seen before, the same color and length of your hair, and your features remain intact. You were exactly as he had seen you in his dreams every night.Everything was the same, except it wasn’t.

"Good morning" was the greeting you offered him. Different, cold, distant.

He wanted to say so many things, and words of apology were dying on his throat. But he knew how you would react to his wanting to talk about something other than the matter at hand. Besides, he owed you that much after everything he had done. For your sake, he wouldn’t try. He would leave you alone.

The meeting went through without a problem. If Steve had to describe you in any way, he would use the word polite. Through the whole meeting, you were polite to him, asking him what he wanted to do, suggesting new ideas, and scheduling the places he had to go. You were polite yet distant, and Steve realized that maybe he wouldn’t have to pretend you were a stranger.

The woman he had met and the one that sat right in front of him were not the same. The woman in front of him didn’t have the same love pouring from her heart when she talked to him. He wasn’t even sure still you had a heart.

It was all his fault.

He was supposed to stay the night in her apartment; a bag of clothes for the next day hanging from his shoulder was proof of it. But as soon as he laid on the bed, his brain refused to shut down. Flashbacks to him seeing you walk into the room plagued his mind, and your icy stare could freeze him on the spot.

"Selfish, selfish, selfish," his mind kept whispering.

He would’ve been fine staying the night there even if he couldn’t sleep, but when Steve felt her hand trailing down, his first reaction wasn’t excitement. Blue eyes and blonde hair met his sight; her fingers searched through his skin, leading down a path that led under his pants. Before, just the lustful look in her eyes was enough to make him hard. Now it just made him want to crawl away.

She had become a constant reminder of the things he had done and the irreparable damage he had caused to you.

His phone had miraculously saved him. The ding cut through the atmosphere. His body almost jumped from the bed to grab the device that lay on the nightstand next to him. A simple text from Sam asking to borrow his brown leather jacket since his had been ruined a couple weeks ago. He texted him back, quickly gathering his belongings as he zipped the duffle bag.

"Sorry, they need me back at the tower." He had lied.

That night, he walked for hours in the dark streets of New York, passing through the places he had taken you on your first date or non-date.

He could still feel your lips on his when his eyes were closed.

There were three times Steve realized your relationship with his best friend was turning into something else.

The first time happened during a work meeting. Everything went exactly as it had gone ever since you came back. Professional, superficial, and distant. His mind told him it was the best for both, but especially for you. He couldn’t ask anything more of you, and even asking you to hear his apology would be for his own benefit.

But he couldn’t help but want to be selfish, not when you were just inches away from him. It was weird how easy it was for you to pretend there wasn’t a past between both of you. He had expected you to be angry at him, yell at him, maybe slap him. He had expected violence because, at the end of the day, it was what he deserved.

The rage and anger never came. He got the side of indifference, which cut him more than if you were going to hate him for the rest of your life. Why was it so easy? Why couldn’t he do the same and pretend nothing had happened between you two?

Why did he keep dreaming about you?

A part of Steve knew the answer, the part of him that had tried to make him stop using you. The part of him that was humane and cared about people had warned him against it, the pang in his chest whenever he could feel your love was proof of it. Every time he ignored that part of his, just like he kept doing whenever he sat next to you.

Instead, he decided he could be content with just having you here. Because having you sit in front of him was better than not having you at all. Indifference was worse than hate, but he could hold onto it, as long as he could still see you.

He was content with it until Bucky came around.

A reflective flash caught his eye. The artificial lightning had reflected from the super-soldier's prosthetic as he stood outside the crystal walls of the conference room. Steve was aware you two were close now, seeing as he had accompanied you not only during his mandatory press tour but also during your two weeks of vacation. He also remembered that he had been the one to take you out of the room that night at the gala.

Steve couldn't blame his friend for wanting to protect you or for seeming to withdraw from him. Bucky had not really spoken a lot to him since that night, instead opting for avoidance at all costs. The only words that Steve was able to get from him weren’t even words. Grunts and nods, monosyllables, and side eyes were all the responses he would get. The only time he had gotten anything else from his was the night after everything crashed down.

The elevator doors opened, and his friend took long, angry strides out of the metal box. Steve could see his friend's rage seeping through him, a level of rage he hadn't seen in a long time.

Steve never saw Bucky’s fist coming to his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he roared.

His nose stung from what he thought was a broken nose. Sparks of pain traveled across his face and blood started pouring out of it. His eyes watered as he tried to escape his friend's grasp so he could protect his face. But his friend’s rage was a strong enhancement to his already strong grip. He held him against a wall.

"You don’t understand. "She's back," he said, his voice breaking.

"What about her? What about the fact you had been leading that poor girl on for the past two years?" The pressure on Steve's chest from Bucky’s fist increased. Steve turned his head around, not being able to face his friend.

"I didn’t mean to hurt her—"

"But you did. The things you said yesterday..." He couldn’t finish his sentence.

Steve never meant for you to hear those things, he wasn’t even sure if he was ever going to tell them to you. But when his eyes found yours, the broken image of the girl who had been by his side no longer than 20 minutes ago was seared into his brain.

"Stay the fuck away from her, or the next time I see you, your nose won't be the only thing that’s broken."

His relationship with Bucky had been nonexistent since that day. He was lucky that Sam seemed not to be aware of what had transpired, as he had only found it odd that there was no contact between you and him. Steve wasn’t going to explain the situation, too embarrassed to admit it to his friend and risk losing Sam too.

Lately, he seemed to be an expert at driving away his friends.

He watched you walk through the door, a smile appearing on your face as you saw Bucky standing outside the room. His flesh arm extended, showing off a cup. He recognized the logo on the side of the object. It was from your favorite coffee place, and it was, as he assumed, your favorite drink.

You looked at the drink, then at Bucky’s eyes, and Steve saw it. It flashed in your eyes so quickly that he thought he had imagined it. The light in your eyes that once showed for him and only him, was now thrown at Bucky, even if it was just for a second. And in return, Bucky’s eyes showed the same brightness, a light pink flushing his face.

The coffee mug he held in his hand snapped, its contents spilling all over the table. He didn’t realize his hands were fists or that his jaw was snapped shut as he clenched it. His hands pricked as he continued to stare at you two. Your hand reached out to the super soldier's face, and your lips deposited a small kiss on his cheek.

Steve heard another breaking noise, except this time it came from his chest.

The second time he saw was months later.

Steve Rogers would never describe himself as a guy who likes to go out at night. He didn’t do dancing. It wasn’t like it used to be, the music had another rhythm, his body wasn’t in sync with it. He didn’t do clubs either. There were always too many people in them, the sea of bodies made him feel like he was drowning. He couldn’t even get drunk, the only thing that got him to that state was the Asgardian liquor Thor had gifted him

He had his exceptions, though.

That night you had taken him to a club, that first night when everything started. It was his first time inside a club, having previously only attended Tony's extravagant parties. Those were bearable, he was surrounded by people he knew (at least some of them), and the vast space of the penthouse was big enough for him to be able to step away without anyone noticing.

With you, however, he had been able to dance in the middle of the sea without a care. Your hips swayed to the music, your own body displaying a symphony of movements that made his heartbeat accelerate. His hands moved before his brain could react, landing on the side of your hips. His memories of that night were ones that he would never forget.

Tonight was another one of those exceptions.

She wanted to go out. For a couple of weeks she had been nagging asking about it, not taking a no for an answer. Finding the whole conversation repetitive and annoying, he finally caved in today.

However, he left out an important detail.

He had heard Sam and Bucky talking in the hallways. He didn’t mean to, as he was making his way to the elevator, and he just happened to pick up the conversation. For what he had gathered, you had invited them to go out with you to a nightclub called Temptation Paradise. He thought about leaving, not wanting to intrude more. But Sam's throwing of your name kept him in his place.

"You do need to step up your game," Sam chuckled.

He heard Bucky’s metallic arm flexing. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that you gotta dress to impress her man. And do something with your hair, with all the black clothes and long hair on your face, you look kinda depressing."

"Fuck you."

Sam laughed. "No, but I mean it. She’s a beautiful single woman, emphasis on the single, in the middle of the dancefloor. You think no one will shoot their shot with her?"

Sam’s words had made him decide that tonight was the night. He had managed to discreetly suggest to her that they go to the same place, about half an hour after you arrived there. The excitement she felt almost made him feel guilty, but once again he decided to be selfish. Just one more time.

A group of her friends had gone with them. Part of him was relieved because they would be a good distraction for her while he looked for you. He told the group he was going to get a drink, scurrying away before they could ask him to bring them some too.

He hated it. Once again, the sea of people made his chest tighten, body parts bumping and grinding against him as he tried to make his way towards the bar. The ambiance of the place was too dark and sensual for the amount of anxiety he was feeling.

He spent twenty minutes looking for you. His whisky was almost done, as he had given up hope. Maybe something had happened, and you weren’t even there. Maybe you'd already gone home with someone. He put the glass on the bar, leaving a tip for the bartender.

It had all been for nothing, and now shame filled him. It was a stupid idea to try and follow you just because of the possibility you might get together with someone tonight. What was he going to do even if it happened? It wasn’t like he could step up and stop anything from happening. He didn’t have any claim over you, and if you were to find out what he had done, you would’ve probably slapped him. He was an idiot.

But he heard it.

A laugh. Your laugh.

Steve felt like he was in a movie. Time had slowed for him, and your shape had become more distinct to him as people moved around the dance floor. Your eyes were closed as you danced along with the music, the lighting of the place dimming until he could barely see anyone around him. Blue and red flashes kissed your skin, the artificial lights dancing all over the place.

You looked beautiful.

His feet moved for him. He wanted to touch you, place himself behind you as you kept swaying your hips around. He wanted to feel the heat from your body against his chest, your ass grinding on his crotch. He wanted you.

Until he saw a hand wrapping around your stomach. Strong fingers moved through your body in the same way that his had done a few years ago. They rested on your stomach for a couple of seconds before they started traveling up your body. Bucky’s figure came into the light, pressing you tighter against him. His head was low enough to whisper something in your ear.

Steve left the club without looking back.

The last and third time happened a couple of weeks later.

It was true that New York is a city that never sleeps. The streets were still filled with light coming from the many billboards and signs that covered the buildings that surrounded the streets. The rain that poured down onto the streets was stopped by his black umbrella, one that was big enough to cover two people. The dark red carnations he held on to his chest remained dry.

Nighttime walks had become a routine for him. His restless thoughts didn’t allow him to shut off his brain, no matter how hard he tried. He caught himself walking toward your office a couple of times, his subconscious remembering the nights he had that routine. He tried to avoid it, walking in the opposite direction every time he noticed it, but his heart wasn’t as strong as he thought. He bought the flowers before he could even stop to think about it.

As he kept walking, he saw your office building ahead, still a few blocks away. Steve had gotten so into his head that perhaps he couldn’t tell you how sorry he was, but he could still try to show you. He remembered the days you left late at night, Friday being the usual one, as you wanted to leave everything ready for when you came back. A flash of hurt installed itself in his heart as he remembered he had not been picking you up in the final months of your relationship, his own mind too consumed by his ex’s return.

He had let you walk the lonely, dark streets alone.

But the past was the past, he couldn’t do anything to change it. He was half a block away when he saw you going down the stairs, a large black coat covering your frame. Your usual heels were replaced by boots. He remembered you kept a pair in your office for cold, rainy days like these.

His steps faltered, and his heart stammered in his chest. He was nervous about how you would react to him showing up unexpectedly, but more than anything, the unknown feelings kept coming back every time he thought about you. He didn’t know what they meant, but it seemed as if they intensified whenever you came around.

With a deep breath, he pulled himself together. This was his chance to prove himself, and hopefully it was enough to keep you in his life. He was ready to face you.

Except you weren’t alone.

A figure he hadn’t noticed before approached you. For a moment, he thought the man was going to attack you until he saw your smile. It was the type of smile you gave someone you were fond of. The type of smile that makes the edges of your eyes crinkle. It was warm and welcoming.

It was the type of smile you used to give him.

He hid himself behind a vehicle, wanting to watch the interaction more without risking being caught. Who was this man who made you laugh so hard and hugged you so tightly that he noticed the hug was a second longer than it should have been?

Fortunately, or rather, unfortunately for him, the man took off his hoodie.

Jealousy was a bitter emotion. The pain in his chest and the rage that made his fists clench were too much for him to bear. The carnations he had been holding close were destroyed, their red petals falling to the ground and being carried away by the streams of rain.

Your arms entwined as Bucky opened an umbrella to protect you from the weather. He heard your laugh as you rested your head on his arm, your body searching for warmth from his best friend. You walked away, making plans for the night.

It was like he was never part of your life.

He was watching you fall in love with someone else. He was being forced by destiny and his own hand to witness how your heart forgot him.

Steve should’ve realized sooner that things were not the same .

At first, it was the little things.

It wasn’t only her apartment that he found odd, nor was it the furniture or the decoration. It wasn’t just the material things that made him feel out of place. It was the way she would brush his hair with her fingers, the pattern she made wasn’t the one he had gotten used to. Or the way she would kiss his neck, her lips didn’t find the place that could make him shiver anymore. It was also the way she smelled, her scent didn’t bring him relief when he hugged her.

Then he realized how much he disliked it when she left a mess behind when she came home. Or the way she would repeat her anecdotes when she forgot she already told them in the first place. Her laugh had lost its endearing tone, and now he could only hear how loud and frenetic it was.

It was her perfume, her clothes, her smile, the way she said "I love you," the way she would embrace him, the things she liked, the way her leg would bounce when she was nervous, her eyes.

Her eyes weren’t the ones he would dream about.

Every night those damned eyes would visit him. And every night, even if it was for just a few seconds, he would lose himself in them. He had seen them so many times that now his sketchbook was filled with them. He thought it would help him get rid of the image from his mind.

Almost three months had passed since he last saw them outside of his dreams. He had to give it to you. You were effective when you wanted to avoid someone. The meetings you had weren’t that frequent in the first place, but, as you had made it your life goal to never be alone with him in the same place, your only meetings were when Sam and Bucky were around. You had stated that this was a more efficient way. Steve wasn’t fond of efficiency ever since.

Even in the rare occasions he could see you, it wasn’t the same. He could only see snippets of the person you used to be, each time less and less as you forgot what you had once felt for him.

But Steve missed more than just your eyes. He missed the way you made him laugh, your sense of humor always had him gasping for air, his stomach hurting as he held it with his hand. He also missed how good of a listener you were. Even as you kept quiet, you had a way to let him know you paid attention to every word he said.

In all honesty, you were the first one he went to whenever everything else in the world seemed too much. He initially assumed it was because he needed to feel your love, his selfishness overpowering his rational mind. Except that the more he returned, the more he realized it was you he craved.

For almost two years, he had you.

And for almost two years he could’ve been happy, if he had allowed himself to.

Anger.

Steve could only feel anger as time passed after that night. The irrational part of him had taken over as a deep sense of despair settled into his daily life. Those unknown feelings you caused plagued his soul, he couldn’t escape them anymore. He couldn’t pretend they didn’t exist, the more he tried, the deeper the hurt.

His own relationship was crumbling apart. There were days they couldn’t stay in the same room, unable to bear each other’s presence. There were nights he couldn’t bear to have her in her arms as they lay down, her touch felt so foreign. Sometimes he couldn’t even text her back. Being with her didn’t feel like a choice anymore, it felt like duty.

At first Steve had thought it was him the one that caused all the problems, his new found obsession with you taking over his thoughts. His mind and heart didn’t belong to him, they didn’t even belong to her anymore.

They were yours. They had always been yours.

But it wasn’t only himself the one that had changed. He saw it in her too, even when they first got back together. Her smile wasn't as genuine as she pretended, and her touch wasn't as loving as she intended. She had tried, though. He could see how much she tried to hold onto who they once were, even going so far as to recreate one of their memories of the past.

The memories were good, but the present couldn’t live up to them.

So, like any couple who refuses to admit their own shortcomings, they attempted to fix everything with sex.

That’s how they got to where they were tonight. The bed in her apartment creaked as he kept pounding into her. He had a firm grip on her hips, possibly enough to bruise her skin, but neither of them cared at this point. They wanted to forget, no matter the cost.

Her whines filled the room. The noises he had heard many times before accentuated his movements, they let him read her easily enough to know that he was doing a good job.

Except that the more Steve kept hearing them, the deeper the hole in his chest grew. He couldn’t feel anything but anger. He closed his eyes, and all he could see was Bucky’s hands around your waist. He noticed your smile, the way you caressed his hand when you thought no one was looking.

He saw the way you cared about him, the tenderness in your touch and your words as you chatted in the corner of the room. He saw everything.

Tears prickled his eyes. His pace was increasing not only in rhythm but also in strength. This was the only way he could forget, and not even now was he able to shut you out. But he was tired. He wasn’t sure he could hold on much longer.

Why couldn’t he stop feeling?

Then it all came crashing down. His eyes closed, and he decided to embrace his thoughts.

"Steve," she moaned.

"Steve! Someone’s going to see us," you laughed. His hands groped your ass as he lifted your legs to his waist.

"Let them see. I want them to know you’re mine."

"Don’t stop, baby."

"You think we could ever just leave everything behind and go somewhere?" you asked. Your eyes were fixed on the window of your apartment. Small droplets of water crashed against the crystal.

His hands found yours, his head found its place on your shoulder.

"Any time you ask, I’ll drop everything to go with you."

"I’m so close."

"I need more." Your voice trembled. Your hands shook as you poured out your heart to him. Your left hand clung to his. "I can’t keep going like this. I can’t keep pretending we’re just friends"

His words died at his throat. He knew this day would come, he had expected it since that first night. He had rehearsed what he would say, how he would let you know he just wanted a casual relationship. No feelings attached.

He wasn’t prepared for the sad look in your eyes, though. Or how broken they looked once he gave you an answer,

"I’m sorry. I can’t."

"Keep going. Please."

"No, please!" he pleaded. His mind was racing as he tried to stop you from hanging up. "Please don’t leave. Your coworkers told me you’re going with Bucky to his press tour today, but I want to see you. I need to see you."

He couldn’t let you go, not like that. Because he knew that once you embarked on the tour, there was no turning back. Your departure meant things would change, he would completely lose you. He wanted to explain. He needed to make you understand. He never meant to hurt you as much as he did, but he did it anyway.

"Stay, please."

You had to stay, because no matter how hard he tried to keep you at arm's length, you still meant a lot to him. For the past two years, you have made him as happy as he could be. Your selfless way of loving had made its home in the place where his heart had been. He wasn’t ready to let that part go.

You had to stay because you loved him. And if life had taught him anything, it was that no matter what happens, you fight. You keep fighting for the ones that mattered and the ones you loved. He wanted you to fight for him.

"No"

His eyes snapped open.

Her moans made him look down. He could feel her orgasm gripping on his cock, himself close enough to his. But once again, his mind played tricks, and the blond hair and blue eyes that belonged to the woman he had once loved were gone. He saw yours.

It hurt. His heart was in pain. The crushing reality of his feelings left him breathless. He was ready to accept them. He was ready to open Pandora's box.

"I love you," he whispered.

Your eyes looked back at him, and he saw them as they were in his dreams. They were loving him back.

His head lowered to your ear. "I love you. God, I fucking love you."

He couldn’t stop saying it. As soon as those three words left his mouth, he felt like he could breathe again. The burden he had been carrying for so long was finally lifted from his shoulders.

"I love you."

"I’ll never let you go, not again."

"I’m sorry. I love you."

"I love you."

"I have always loved you."

Then, your voice filled his ears and his heart.

"I love you too."

He came inside you. Your arms engulfed him in a hug, your legs rested on his hips as he tried to control his own breathing. His nose nuzzled your neck, and the warmth from your body felt like home.

Steve loved you. Deeply. Passionately. Wholeheartedly.

But once the ecstasy of the moment left his body, the hands that drew circles on his back weren’t yours anymore. She didn’t smell like you. She wasn’t you. He didn’t love her anymore. He loved you.

He had always loved you.

A knock on your door surprised you. Your hands reached for your remote, pausing the movie you were watching. At first, you thought you had imagined it. It was late at night, and you weren’t expecting company. Bucky had told you he would be away for a couple of days as he had to go on a mission, and he was the only one who came to you this late at night. It was probably someone knocking on the neighbors' door, or the wind knocking over something.

But another knock on the door made you jump. Your heart rose to your throat. Who the hell was that? Their knocks were desperate, whoever was knocking surely had an emergency.

"I’m going! I’m going! Stop knocking on the fucking door." You yelled while putting your shoes on.

The constant sound of the knuckles hitting the door was getting on your nerves. With a strong pull, you finally opened the door, ready to yell at whoever was so inappropriately coming to your house so late at night.

"Hey."

It was Steve.

You froze for a second. Of all the people you imagined could be waiting behind the door, he was never an option that crossed your mind. Those blue eyes that you had once loved were staring back at you.

Steve was there. At your door.

Steve ‘The asshole’ Rogers.

You snapped out of it. The grip on your door tightened before you tried to close it on his face. His hand stopped you from doing it.

"Wait." Your body kept pushing against the door, although it probably felt like nothing to the dickhead of a super soldier that was outside your apartment. With a sigh, you let the door go, allowing it to be opened again.

"What do you want?" Your words sounded harsher than you intended too, but you didn’t back away from them. He deserved them after all.

"I— Can we talk?"

You should’ve closed the door in his face again. You should’ve told him to go fuck himself again, just like you had done many months ago. But the anger that consumed you back then was mitigated. You weren’t even sure if you were angry at all, but the defense mechanisms you had clung to were still telling you to run away. They were telling you he was only there to cause you pain.

But the man who had broken your heart wasn’t the same as the one who was standing in front of you. This Steve was tired, he looked like he hadn’t slept in a couple of days. The small wrinkles around his eyes deepened too. And for some reason, he reminded you of how you looked eight months ago, the morning after the gala.

He had his heart broken.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to hear him.

The evil, vindictive side of you was curious about what had brought him to you in this state. Who had hurt him so badly that he had come with such urgency to your door in the middle of the night? But another part, the mature and healing part of you knew this conversation was due. You didn’t have to do this for him, but for yourself. There were still so many things left unsaid from your side, and, as Bucky had said, sometimes you need to get those things out to fully heal.

"Fine." you grunted.

Both of you were standing in your kitchen. The contrast of things were between you a year ago and how they were now almost made you laugh. A year ago you didn’t think anyone would make you as happy as Steve. Now, you didn’t think anyone could hurt you as much as him.

"How have you been?"

You chuckled at his superficial question. Of course he would try to start with small talk instead of going straight to the point.

"Good." You took a sip of your water. "You?"

He shrugged. "As good as I can be"

"Why are you here, Steve?"

Your question took him by surprise. His gaze was fixed on the floor, his hands fiddling with the bracelet he was wearing. After taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat and looked you in the eyes.His nervousness made you nervous, forming knots in your stomach. His silence was making you spiral.

He apologized, as you knew he had been waiting for a long time.

"I’m sorry for hurting you. I wish I could go back in time and erase all of this. You didn’t deserve any of it."

"You were the best thing that happened to me in a long time. I’m sorry I was too stuck in the past to see it."

" I know you hate me, but you can’t hate me more than I hate myself for hurting you."

Hearing his words made you feel something. You didn’t want to admit it, but it felt good. You knew all of this, as you had made peace with yourself and decided that the only thing you were guilty of was staying. But deep down, hearing them was the last thing you needed to let go.

His words brought peace.

Until he opened his mouth again.

"I fell in love with you, I don’t know when or how, but one day I woke up and realized that I already loved you."

"I’ve loved you since the very beginning. I close my eyes and the only thing I can think about is you, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you make me feel."

"I broke up with her. I couldn’t stay with her, not when it was you in my heart."

"I love you"

He said them. The words you had begged him to say for two years were finally directed at you. You expected to be overjoyed, even ecstatic, when this day arrived. You would finally be happy.

Who would’ve thought that words of love would bring so much pain?

His love wasn’t what you expected. You thought it would be comforting, warm, and welcoming. Instead, it burned you. It suffocated you. It drowned you, each time a little more, as he kept repeating his feelings for you.

Steve didn’t know how to love, he only knew how to cause pain.

"And what the fuck do you want me to do about it?"

Steve flinched. "I don’t—"

"You broke my heart. I loved you with everything I had, I gave you everything and more, and even then it wasn’t enough," you said, wiping away the tears that ran down your face. You didn't even realize you were crying. "You used me as a sort of emotional replacement while you were still in love with her. You fucked her minutes after you kissed me in front of everyone. And you said those awful things too." You couldn’t stop your words, the words that were never said. "Then you have the balls to call me nonstop, text me, send gifts, and even beg me to stay the day I left with Bucky while you were already back with her. And now, months later, you tell me you’ve loved me all along and broke up with your girlfriend? What kind of bullshit is that?"

You couldn’t stay there. Your kitchen now seemed to shrink as you felt the walls closing around you. This was too much. He was too much. You pushed past him, the main door calling your name as a lifesaver. "Leave, leave, leave," your brain kept repeating. This time, you listened to it.

A big hand stopped your escape.

"Don’t touch me." you hissed at him. The sadness in his eyes deepened with your words, but your sympathy for him was long gone. Now he was the victim?. ""God, do you know how bad you fucked me up?" You pushed him with all your strength. You wanted to slap him, you wanted him to feel how deeply he had reached your mind. How were you never going to really be able to get rid of him.

"I can’t even think of starting something new with someone else because all I can think of is what if?

What if one day he wakes up and realizes he doesn’t really love me, that he loves someone else?

What if he breaks my heart the same way you did it?

What if he doesn’t love me the same way I do?

And it’s all your fault."

The echo of your words was all that was left after your speech. You hated how easily he could make you lose control of your emotions, how easy it was for him to cut deep into you. You had forgotten the rollercoaster of emotions that meant having Steve in your life, and now that you were back in it you could say you didn’t miss it.

"It’s Bucky, isn’t it?"

Your head snapped back at him.

"What?"

"Your what if. It's him, isn’t it?"

She recognized the sound of heartbreak when she heard it. His voice was filled with it.

"Yes."

He took a step back as if you had slapped him. You could see all the signs, going from denial to painful acceptance. You wondered if he felt the same way you had felt when you saw them together. Given, you weren't fucking Bucky right in front of him, but in theory, everything was the same.He loved you, but you loved someone else.

"I’ll never get you back, will I?"

You wanted to chuckle, he still had hope. But for both your sakes, you had to extinguish that ray of hope. Honesty was all it took to kill it.

"I don’t think I could be with you without hating myself a little bit for it."

It took a couple of minutes for both of you to compose yourselves. Your apartment had seen a war where two hearts had been broken again and again, yet everything seemed to be in place. Steve cleared his throat, motioning towards the door.

"I think it’s better if I go now." You opened the door, stepping aside to let him walk out of your place. "I’ll see you around."

You were ready to close the door when Steve's voice called for you.

"You think we could ever be friends again?"

You gave him a sad smile. "We weren’t really friends to begin with."

This time, you closed the door without looking back. Your chest still hurt, and your eyes felt sore from all the crying. But amongst all the sadness that the memories brought back, you smiled.

You were finally free.

"Hey"

Bucky’s eyes lift up from the report he’s writing. His heart stammered in his chest before he could speak. You are standing at the office door in a black sweatshirt and pants. There were a couple of droplets of sweat running down the side of your face, and your breathing is irregular.

His first thought was that something bad had happened. He had just gotten back no longer than half an hour ago, he had texted you about his arrival, and your lack of response made him think you were busy. Something had to be wrong for you to run all the way here.

But the shy smile on your face and the excitement that radiates from you change his mind.

"Hey," he mutters, his mind not being able to come up with something more playful or flirtatious as he usually did.

There’s something different about you, though. There’s something new in the way you look at him and in the way you stand. For so many months, he had to see you bear this weight, this darkness that seemed to suffocate your soul. He had been able to pull away the darkness a couple of times, but as you stand right in front of him, you look as if it was never a part of you.

Bucky notices how it takes you a second to say something, they way your hands grip on the frame of the door and he could hear your heart fighting to break free from your chest.

"Is that dinner date still on the table?"

His heart stops.

"I—Yeah, it is."

You smile at him beautifully. Bucky thinks that he has never seen anything more mesmerizing than your smile.

"Good. Pick me up at seven."

If you like the story please interact: reblogs, likes and comments go a long way. Feedback is always appreciated!

A/N: It's finally here! I hope you guys enjoy it and sorry it took longer than I thought it would.

Requests are OPEN

Tag list: @captainson-of-coul @imyourbratzdoll @kneelforloki

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers x you #captain america fic #steve rogers x y/n #captain america fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #steve angst #mcu fanfiction #steve x reader #steve smut #steve x you #steve x y/n #avengers fic

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stevetonyweekly · 1 month

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SteveTony Weekly - March 31 - Week 13

Here’s what I read this week!! Check it out and be sure to comment and kudos as you’re reading!

~*~

Never is a Promise by manic_intent

Steve had to admit that he had some reservations about how the New Century handled the social balance between alphas and omegas.

arei’s thoughts: I love this and the way that it twists A/B/O dynamics. The relationship builds so nicely.

Citation Needed by elwenyere, FestiveFerret

Historian Tony Stark has one year to get his book about WWII weapons technology under contract before he goes up for Full Professor at Stanley College. There's only one chapter left to finish, which is supposed to explain Peggy Carter's involvement with something called "Project Rebirth," but there are two problems: his trail of evidence goes cold every time he encounters references to an enigmatic soldier named Steven Rogers, and his stress levels shoot through the roof every time he runs into the endlessly frustrating new hire in Fine Arts, Dr. Grant.

arei’s thoughts: this is so lovely because the identity porn and Tony being so very--Tony. And the way it all came out, I just love it so much.

Counterpart by sara_holmes

coun•ter•part [koun-ter-pahrt] [noun] 1. a person or thing closely resembling another, especially in function. 2. a copy; duplicate. 3. one of two parts that fit, complete, or complement one another.

Just because Hydra used the DNA of a Captain America from another dimension to create a lab-grown, six-year-old super-soldier, it doesn't mean that said six-year old super-soldier is biologically Steve's, right?

(Where Steve wants to ban Clint from bringing things home from alternative dimensions, until he doesn't.)

arei’s thoughts: i’m a big fan of this fic and a lot of it is down to Steve’s characterization and how much he struggles with having a child thrust upon him. It’s so very in line with the headcanon I have of Steve that it was nice seeing it here.

Wish List by scifigrl47

It's Valentine's Day, and that's a busy day when you run a high end restaurant. Or a food truck parked outside of a high end restaurant. Some things fall through the cracks, and your friends might just start to worry things are falling apart.

arei’s thoughts: I really love scifigrl47 and this verse in particular is a favorite--this is utterly gorgeous and super sweet.

play it back slow by meidui

“I’ve finally got you right here. I don’t wanna go full steam ahead and crash this thing before I figure out how to drive it.”

“I thought you liked running risks,” Steve says, only very distantly aware that he might look like a disheveled mess right now and doesn’t have a lot of authority.

“Not on you,” Tony says firmly, and Steve knows that’s final because Tony doesn’t often use that tone.

arei’s thoughts: this was so soft and lovely. Tony’s determination to take things slow and Steve’s desperation to…not…it was just so lovely.

#stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #iron man #captain america #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

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queen-of-the-avengers · 5 months

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Iron Man 2: Part One

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon violence and angst

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Nick Fury sits across from you in the dimly lit room. On the desk in front of you is a file he's been working on since you and Carol parted ways in 1995. He's been waiting patiently for the past ten minutes while you read through it all.

"This is what you were working on after Carol left?" you ask and scan the pages in your hand once more.

"I didn't realize exactly what's out there until you and Carol. I have no idea what we might face, and I think it's about time to bring together exceptional people with extraordinary powers such as yourself," Fury explains.

"What are you trying to put together? Some kind of superhero team?" you chuckle.

"It's good to know what's out there. It's better to be prepared for it."

"You think I'm worthy enough to be in this group?"

"Have you met you? The woman I knew in 1995 would jump at the chance to be on this team."

"I have to admit, you've got some good stuff in here," you sigh and set the file on the table.

"But...?"

"I've seen this kind of thing before. Someone puts together a team of exceptionally gifted people who can do incredible things, but conflict arises and it never works out. Your heart is in the right place, but I don't think your head is. Have you thought this through?"

"More than you think I have. I think with the right motivation, this team can be the greatest thing this world has ever seen."

"I don't know," you bite your lower lip in worry.

"Who survived the Kree not once but twice? Who fought Hydra in World War II? Who helped defeat Stane? Who helped Bruce?"

"Okay, first, Stane was a douchebag in a machine he didn't know how to control. Anyone could have beaten him," you roll your eyes. "Second, Bruce came to me thinking I was a scientist. He heard about me back in 1945, found out how to contact me, and I was there for him. I didn't know what I was signing up for when he went all Hulk on me."

"Think about it, Y/N. This is something that can be truly remarkable with the right people. I already have two agents on board."

"Who?"

"Black Widow and Hawkeye."

You don't know who Hawkeye is but you've heard plenty about the deadly assassin. She's popped up over the years but you've always stayed out of her way in fear she'll start hunting you. Never did you think you'd get to be able to work with her. You take the file from the table and look at Black Widow's section.

Damn, she's gorgeous.

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, is she in a relationship?"

"I'm not doing this. Ask her yourself. Take some time and think about it."

He gets up and is about to leave the room when you swivel around to face him.

"How's your eye doing?"

"Don't start," he shakes his head and leaves the room.

Not only do you have this to think about, Tony's speech has been on replay over and over in your mind. You told the world that you were the Avatar while Tony confessed to being Iron Man. The weeks following the press conference have been nothing but chaos as the public made you and Tony celebrities. While you did confess to being able to control the elements, you're not going to tell the world the planet you're truly from. You're not sure they're ready to hear they're not alone in the universe.

Dr. Erskine, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark took it well because they were already working in that area, so it didn't come as a shock to them. Despite being inventors, doctors, and secret government agents, they were scientists. They knew there were other lifeforms out there.

They may have been ready to learn about you, but the rest of the world isn't.

You and Tony have been put in the spotlight, making you two out to be idols. People love the Avatar and Iron Man and often want you two to be out together in public. With his newfound sense of fame, he decided to reopen the Stark Exposition where he showcases all the things he's invented while encouraging people to show off their inventions.

If you know Tony, and you do, he's gonna want to make a grand entrance into his Stark Exposition. He's going to use the suit to fly into the arena with you by his side. To do that, you have to get high, which is why you two are on a small plane to take you to that height.

"I never got the chance to tell you how risky of a move it was to reveal yourself like that," you say to him while you're waiting.

"It's bound to come out sooner or later," Tony shrugs.

"They're going to start asking questions."

"They were already doing it before."

"Life is going to be different for us."

"Eh, what else is new?" he chuckles.

The plane flies higher, and you and Tony get ready to jump out of it.

"So, how are you and Pepper doing? Have you kissed her yet?"

"Don't start."

"What? Come on, you two almost kissed. There's some sort of feelings there, no?"

"I don't know," Tony sighs. "Do I really want to involve her in my life?"

"You need someone like her to keep you grounded. She's been with you for ten years and has done more than what you've asked her to do. She likes you, Tony and I know you like her, too. Tell me, imagine if she wasn't in your life. How would that make you feel?" Tony can't answer because he knows the answer. He knows he'd be devastated. "Exactly my point."

"Two hundred and seventy at thirty knots. Holding steady at fifteen thousand feet. You are clear for exfiltration over the drop zone," the pilot informs.

"Time for show business."

The launch door on the bottom of the airplane opens, and Tony doesn't hesitate to jump out of it. You jump off the landing strip and follow him as he zips through the air at a fast pace. The wind whips through your hair, the breeze is nice against your skin, and you're having fun just flying wherever you please to go.

Tony takes the lead to the Stark Expo, and he lands on the stage with a loud thump. You're more delicate with your entrance, and you slowly lower yourself next to Tony until your feet are planted on the ground.

Tony has to make this event as grand as it can be which means there are fireworks, a very bright light show, dancing girls dressed like Iron Man, and a raging crowd to greet him. Sure, you told everyone you're the Avatar, but they're more interested in the billionaire. Not that you're complaining, you're content with being in the background.

You take a few steps back to let the machines underneath the stage remove Tony's suit for him. The platform he's on is slowly spinning as robotic arms are dismantling his suit. The showgirls continue to dance in the background until the song that's playing is over. They do some big dance number that you couldn't possibly follow, and they leave once their parts are over with.

The lights dim to focus on you and Tony.

"Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony!" the majority of the crowd yells.

Your name is being scattered throughout the crowd, but it's mostly for Tony.

"It's good to be back. You missed me?" he chuckles.

"Blow something up!" a man in the crowd screams.

"Blow something up? I already did that," he dismisses him until the crowd dies down. "I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years because of us. I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history. I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe-to-toe with us on our best day!"

"It's actually not about us," you chime in. "It's not about you. It's about legacy. It's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations. That's why, for the next year, and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pool their resources and share their collective vision to leave behind a brighter future."

"She's absolutely right. Therefore, what we're saying, if we're saying anything, is welcome back to the Stark Expo," Tony smiles and the crowd goes wild. "Now, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond to tell you what it's all about, please welcome my father, Howard."

You and Tony leave the stage as the video of Howard starts to play.

"He looks so young there," you comment after your microphones have been turned off.

"What, you didn't know him like this?"

"I knew him when he was in his twenties. He was bright for his age. He loved inventing."

"Yeah, even more than his own son," Tony scoffs.

"He loved you so much, Tony. Even before you were even an idea. He talked about having children with so much love and admiration. He was a good man. He helped me and Steve become who we are."

"It's nice to know you have fond memories of him," he nods passive-aggressively.

It's clear he doesn't like to talk about his dad a lot, and you don't really understand why. While you were off-planet, he was here building his family. You weren't fortunate in seeing Howard as a parent since you met Tony only a couple of years before his parents died. Tony never liked how Howard parented, but you have a feeling he refuses to see why Howard did what he did.

"I'm sure if he were here, he'd be so proud of you."

Tony doesn't respond to that. He turns away from the screen and pulls out a device that measures his blood toxicity levels. The palladium in the arc reactor is slowly killing him, so he has to check how toxic his blood is every hour. You're working on a cure, but there isn't an acceptable replacement for palladium. The continued use of the Iron Man suit is killing him, and it's very hard to make him see the seriousness of the situation.

Only you know about this because he refuses to tell anyone what's actually happening. He doesn't want anyone to worry about what's going on with him even though they deserve to know. Pepper deserves to know. Even with your vast knowledge of powers and serums, you don't know how you'll be able to fix this one.

If Tony is good at anything, then it's how he throws after-parties once the main one dies down. As soon as the Expo is over, everyone huddles around the front of the building to meet you and Tony. Happy stands in front of you two to carve a path back to the car. Tony stops to sign autographs and take pictures with devoted fans while you keep your head down. You hated your picture being taken in the 1940s and you hate it being taken now.

Pictures are proof you were here.

Happy escorts you to Tony's brand new convertible car while the building's security prevents people from crowding you at the car.

"Very mellow," Tony comments.

"I thought it was going to be worse."

A slim, young woman walks to the car with two men behind her just as you get in the backseat of the car.

"Hi, and you are?" Tony asks as he slides into the front seat.

"Marshal. Pleased to meet you Tony and Y/N."

"I'm sorry, what are you doing here?" you ask.

"Looking for you two," she grins, "and serving subpoenas."

She hands him a piece of paper and he visibly gulps. He hates being handed things, which you never understood.

"Yikes," he mutters.

"He doesn't like to be handed things. I'll take it," you smile and take the letter she offers.

"Yeah, I have a peeve," Tony nods.

"I got it. You two are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at nine a.m."

"Can I see a badge?"

"You wanna see the badge?" she grins.

"We'll be there," you interrupt her meaningless flirting. "How far are we from D.C.?"

"Two hundred and fifty miles," Happy answers.

"We'll be there. Thank you."

Tony turns the car on and takes off toward the highway. It's night right now, but it will be morning by the time you get to D.C.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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victimsofyaoipoll · 3 months

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Round 1

Propaganda under the cut

Natasha Romanoff

People frequently write her as a Sexy, Intimidating, and Competent piece of furniture; she exists to be mildly intimidating, but has no real desires or inner life of her own, and all of her actions in the story revolve around the main m/m pair. Meanwhile, the m/m pair thinks of her as a Close Teammate(tm) but never devotes time or emotional energy to what might be going on in her life.

usually in certain fics she often just gets turned into a wingwoman for Steve, or if the fic is Tony centric she often ends up being bashed because of the whole team tony/team cap thing.

Some of the best series Marvel has ever done were Black Widow solo runs. Unfortunately she was also Bucky's love interest at one point, and (before the MCU blew the fuck up) she was often fridged or villainised.

Peggy Carter

She’s a victim of Stucky mainly bc of the way marvel used her to give Steve an ooc ‘happy ending, but I know I’ve seen some posts calling her toxic or something it was 2019 so In CAT:FA, she’s introduced as a confident British agent. She has some chemistry w Steve Rogers (although more fans (on tumblr at least) preferred Steve and Bucky). She wasn’t just *woman who is strong*, but also had some emotional depth, with an actual range of emotion outside of angry and sad. She had a spin-off show, and she just continued to fight Russians and misogynists, even having chemistry in an almost wlw relationship and an eventual marriage to a famous shield agent. She went through character development and just was an awesome character. Then you know what endgame does? It has Steve Rogers travel back in time and take all of that development away. Most fans were mad at Marvel, and a lot were mad at Steve, but some fans threw Peggy completely under the bus, saying that they traded the (fanon?) queer ship/(canon) friendship for a bland love interest, which, um, she was so much more then that? I remember people really disliking Peggy, which isn’t fair to her character when she is/was so much more then that.

Peggy is vilified by people who ship Steve with his war comrade Bucky Barnes. I’ve even seen people claiming baselessly that she was secretly HYDRA the whole time.

She gets in the way of stucky which OBVIOUSLY gives people, most of them women themselves, the right to be ridiculously misogynistic. Dismissing her character arc, traits, presence in the movies and her part in Steve Roger's life, saying she is insignificant on the ground of very subjective readings is one thing, but outright calling her 'just some old coochie', among other colourful, wonderful things, is another. They also keep reaching to villainize her (saying she's a literal nazi which she's not) and cancel her so their ship is somehow made more valid for it, erasing the competition as it were.

#round 1 #poll #natasha romanoff #black widow #peggy carter #marvel #marvel comics #mcu

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alwaysakin · 4 days

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Favourite MCU Fic Recs

I'm not nearly as much as an MCU expert as I am a Buffy expert, but here are my favorite MCU fics!

Gen Fics

All The Leaves Are Brown (And the sky is gray) by AvocadoLove - the Winter Soldier kills Howard and Maria Stark... And then raises their young son. This is absolutely incredible, and Bucky & Tony's father / son relationship is so bittersweet.

Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Mentioned Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes.

built from scraps by robinbuckley - Tony Stark snaps. Peter Parker (and MJ!) does not. This fic is absolutely incredible! Pepper, Morgan & Peter's family relationship is amazing, and their grief over Tony, May, and all their friends is wonderful. MJ and Peter's romance, and his friendships with Harley Keener and Nat are great. Oh, and Tony turns out to be Peter's bio dad. READ THIS.

Minor MJ/Peter Parker, and Pepper Potts/Tony Stark.

Things I Almost Remember by IcedAquarius - probably the most interesting Tony is Peter's bio dad fic, purely because Tony doesn't know. More angsty than most fic I read - and be warned: it hasn't been updated in a while. Ned, MJ, and Helen Cho are standouts!

Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, and future MJ/Peter Parker.

The Second Hand Unwinds by The Party Prince - Mobius gives Loki the chance to go anywhere. He visits his brother post Infinity War. A short one shot, and so sad and wonderful.

Love is Pain (Well, Darling, Let's Hurt Tonight) by OverlyObsessed223 - a crossover with the X-Men movies, where X-Men Peter and MCU Wanda can feel each other's pain. A bittersweet look at sibling relationships. Slightly more X-Men focused.

RECOIL by VulpeculaAnser - a season 1 rewrite of Agents of Shield, focusing heavily on Daisy and the trauma that would ensue if she got her powers earlier. Focuses on the found family relationship of the team. Tragically unfinished.

Cool Meta and Multimedia Fics

20 Celebrities Who Could Totally Be Daredevil by RosaLui - formatted like a buzzfeed article. Short, meta, and hilarious!

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by many - a hilarious historical archive of Captain America movies. Absolutely loved all the historical references. Minor Steve/Bucky.

Best Stucky Fics

What I'm Looking For by TessaBennet - a long, sprawling series of stories that rewrites all of the MCU with a Stucky focus. If you have to read one fanfic on this list, this is the one for you. It fixes canon in so many ways, and completely changed the ways I view many characters for the better (especially Natasha, Sam, and Wanda). The second fic, focusing on WW2, and the 6th (on the events up to/Civil War) are by far the best, but every fic in this series is incredible. Seriously. Read it.

Don't Ask by AnnaFugazzi -a WW2 Steve and Bucky have a secret relationship, and are found out. Realistic and HEARTBREAKING consequences ensue. Ends on a bittersweet note, and is amazing. Be warned - the sequels get much darker and deal with non/con. Personally, I stop reading here.

A Long Winter by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears - A Stucky fic looking at what would happen if Steve didn't go into the ice, but Bucky was still the Winter Soldier. Steve and Peggy's relationship, and the Howlies, are written so well.

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter - The Winter Soldier's mask doesn't come off - a slow burn that delves into the torture Bucky endured and the slow realization about who he is on Steve's part. Very dark.

Never Like This by RobinWood - another slowburn Winter Soldier identity reveal fic. This one in particular writes the whole avengers team so well, especially Tony and his reaction to his parents dying.

Time Travel and Other Fic-It Fics

the reactions of a dead man by agloeian - it's down to Loki to arrange things to stop Thanos. Some really funny bits, and a good look at the limits of what can be changed with time travel. The Loki & Strange relationship is great.

god loves everybody, don't remind me by napricot - Erik Killmonger gets stuck in a time loop. He learns the meaning of family along the way. The author writes Erik so well!

Bringing Him Home by sancuary_for_all - A post No-Way-Home fix it. Ned and MJ have gaps in their memory. Eventually, they piece things together. Really sweet Peter/MJ relationship.

If I Could Start Again by Taarko - at the end of Infinity War, Thor is sent back in time. The amount of lore in this fic is incredible! And the characterization of Thor, Loki, and Valkyrie is great! Very Asgard focused and goes deep into their history.

Relationships: Valkyrie/Loki, Betty Ross/Bruce Banner.

Fics With OCs (That Are Actually Good)

The Wyvern by emmamagnetised - Tony has a younger sister, who is in the car with their parents and is taken by Hydra. The trial of the Wyvern arc is wonderful and sold me on this. It's loooong, be warned. A Bucky Barnes/OC fic.

The Siren by emmamagnetised - a WW2 story about a spy for the Allies in Nazi Germany - who is a childhood friend of Steve and Bucky. Cute relationship between her and Steve.

#mcu #stucky #captain america #spiderman #the avengers #iron man #bucky barnes #fic rec

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lnsfawwi · 4 months

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"he is willing to die for everyone": life and death for stevebucky

I wrote this because I saw a post that said something like "'A's willing to die for B'. A is willing to die for everyone, what's the big deal about the ship." it's not about stucky or any ship, but this has always been on my mind.

throughout the trilogy, they have quite different attitudes towards life.

steve to some extent has always been ready to die, partly because he has had brushes with death multiple times since he was a kid. as rebellious as steve, he probably feels like being afraid of death is a sign of weakness, so he stands up to it and dares death to finally take him. that sentiment evolved to full blown passive suicidal tendency after bucky's death. another reason is that since he became cap, he understands that he's meant for something larger than life and certainly larger than himself, he's accepted that he'd one day die for the greater good.

bucky is the opposite, he clearly wants to live. in the cut scene in catfa he ordered the unit to surrender bc they'd have a better chance of surviving that way than going up against hydra alien weapon. after caws, he was trying to find a reason to live when many people in the same situation would've just ended it (and bucky thought about it too).

which brings me to my point. for someone who's so ready to sacrifice himself, bucky is steve's reason to live, while the love for steve always trumps bucky's will to live.

like I pointed out in a previous post, even when he had no idea what he was capable of, steve jumped through fire for bucky. whereas when it was peggy who pleaded, begging him to find a way to survive the plane crush, he didn't even try.

in the same scene, bucky, who just survived weeks of torture and had a clear way out of there, refused to leave without steve, knowing full well that they could both end up dying.

sebastian made it clear that bucky only stayed because of steve. in a way, bucky knew that if he died it'd be for steve, not for the country or the greater good, just steve. and that's the only acceptable way to die in a war that he'd grown sick of.

yes, steve was willing to die at bucky's hands in that helicarrier, but alternatively, he was also leaving the choice to live completely up to bucky. the scene can be interpreted as steve telling bucky "if you remember me, save me. save us." there was only one way steve would survive, there was only one reason steve would be willing to live and that was bucky. remember that steve was so ready to die with bucky when he told maria to "fire now". bucky was the only reason he even tried to survive this.

in civil war, bucky had been trying so hard not to kill himself and build a normal life. he must've wanted to go back to steve at some point and rebuild their relationship together. but as soon as he realized not everyone was going to get out of siberia alive, he told tony "I remember all of them" so tony would go after him instead of steve. he was trading his life for steve's.

one thing about superhero ships is that, yes, they are totally willing to die for anyone. steve would totally be willing to die saving a single person from a collapsing building, but bucky is his reason to find a way to not die saving that person.

bucky is as much as hero as steve, he continued to fight when he could've just butted out and no one would've said a thing. for bucky, he wants to go home after the fights, but as long as steve is still out there risking his stupid ass, bucky will make peace with death and follow steve anywhere.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #stevebucky #stucky is in the narrative #catfa #caws #cacw #look i know im not the best at writing ok #steve my sweet suicidal baby #in a way both of them are more than ready to die for the greater good #im not saying bucky is selfish or whatever #but bucky is much more realistic about the whole 'greater good' thing #remember when seb said steve was the only thing that kept bucky from killing himself?#their relationships with death deserve a full comprehensive analysis #the irony #cus steve never died whereas bucky died many times

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littlereyofsunlight · 4 months

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I'm late!

Sorry, @doctorhelena for the belated Steggy Secret Santa gift! I'm still working on the rest, but I've got the beginning polished up and ready to share ...

I loved receiving your letter to @steggyfanevents/Santa: "here are some general ideas of things I particularly like (applicable to either fanfic or fanart!): - stories (or fanart) set during the war - AUs with Steve present during the Agent Carter timeframe - AUs in general - friendship and found family - secret relationships, but also Peggy and Steve getting teased about each other - shared adventure, working together to achieve a goal - banter - Peggy being badass and Steve loving it - hijinks and terrible ideas - the Howling Commandos, Howard, Phillips, the Jarvises, Angie, Rose, Natasha, Bucky, Sam, Tony, Pepper, Thor - Bernard Stark, Howard's flamingo"

I had a lot of fun pulling a few of these elements together to come up with this story. Hope you enjoy!

Peggy bit the inside of her cheek as they arrived at Howard’s Beverly Hills home. He'd assured them of their privacy when he’d offered this house as a place to lay low while the news of Steve’s return blew over. It was their best option—she just hoped this really was the place to wait it out.

The driver handed over their bags to Steve, who took them with a warm smile, despite his obvious exhaustion. Peggy noted the way weariness seemed to have settled into the laugh lines at his eyes, the crease on his forehead that never quite went away now, the perpetual, if slight, downturn his mouth had. She shook herself from her reverie, reminding her wandering, maudlin thoughts that she’d never thought she’d get to see his face again, let alone watch him age.

She rubbed at the simple band on her left ring finger. While Steve’s miraculous return had certainly caused a stir, it was the news of the wedding that had turned the press rabid.

Peggy looked at Steve. Steve looked at Peggy. There was, not for the first time since he’d returned, the feeling of uncomfortable tension between them. “Well,” Steve said, his voice congenial, “I’m fifty-percent convinced he’s not going to out us.”

Peggy nodded. “I might go as high as seventy-five percent, just knowing how well Howard pays.”

“He sure is doing us some favor.” Peggy found his tone inscrutable. This was a new development, since his return. The small lines on his face and, sometimes, the wrong-footed feeling that Steve was referencing something from where—when—he came from.

She shifted her purse strap higher on her shoulder. The California sun was hot, and Steve’s suit hadn't fared well on the transcontinental flight. She didn’t feel particularly fresh, herself. “Shall we go in?”

He inclined his head. “I take it you know the way.”

Biting back the sharp retort that flew into her head—this wasn’t the same callow Steve who’d suggested fondue was some kind of lewd act, after all—Peggy was acutely aware of Steve behind her as she strode up the front walk to Howard’s ridiculous mansion. The lawn was just as green and well-manicured as when she’d last been, two years ago. Peggy supposed Howard thought stuccoed walls and wrought iron details made the place stately, but she’d always found it cozy, despite its size. And of course, the pool made it especially appealing. She looked back at Steve—at her new husband—and thought idly of just how secluded the pool really was. She felt a flush come over her that she couldn’t blame entirely on the heat.

“Howard played host when I was here working a case with …” She fumbled for words as she reached the front door and dug into her purse for the key Jarvis had arranged to have messengered to her back in D.C. “Ahem, well … there was a scientist, I’m not sure I’ve had the chance to tell you about this one.”

Peggy’s mind raced. What exactly was she going to tell him in this moment about the escapade with Whitney Frost? Her flirtation with Jason Wilkes? Her dalliance with Daniel? Not exactly honeymoon talk. “Well, another time,” she finished inadequately, feeling suddenly quite tired. Opening the door, she stepped inside. The heat of the day hadn’t touched the cool tile entryway, and she sighed in relief. Peggy ushered Steve in after her and, with a final look back at the expanse of lawn and the eight-foot wall beyond it that encircled the property, she firmly shut the door and locked it.

“Alone at last,” she said, with a genuine smile for her new husband.

***

Steve took in the immaculate Spanish Colonial Revival details of Howard’s house. He’d visited Tony’s home in Malibu, once, before he rebuilt it. The setting had been spectacular, and the house had certainly gone out of its way to provide unobstructed views of the ocean, but all that glass and space had left it feeling empty.

Now, Steve wondered if it had been a reaction to this place and to Howard’s preferred style. There was dark, ornate woodwork, plush, heavy furniture and warm colors everywhere Steve’s eye landed. Light spilled into the vestibule from arched windows stretching above the front door. The tiles were an inviting orange, with a Moroccan motif bordering the floor. A staircase of dark risers and wrought iron lead, Steve presumed, to the bedrooms on the second floor. Beyond the stairs was a hallway into the back of the house, and to the left of the foyer Steve saw a study filled with bookcases and leather club chairs.

He suddenly became aware of Peggy’s eyes on him, her expression expectant. “Nice place,” he observed blandly. She raised an eyebrow, and he noticed, not for the first time today, how impeccably turned out she was. Her honeymoon suit crisply pressed, hat set just so, red, red lipstick looking freshly applied even with the transcontinental flight they’d boarded that morning. Steve knew his jacket was creased to hell and his collar had lost its starch—he was out of practice keeping his clothes up to this time’s standards, that was very clear.

And, he realized through his musings, there was a frown beginning on his wife’s incredibly beautiful face.

Steve reached out a hand, pulled her in close. “Did you say something about being alone?”

He was relieved when she melted against him immediately, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. “One hears that’s how newlyweds are supposed to spend their time, alone together,” she teased, her eyes soft as she looked at him. He’d been flagging on the drive from the airport, looking forward to a nap when they arrived. But now he couldn’t resist kissing her, pressing her fully against him, reveling in how her lush curves fit against his body.

“Good thing I cleared my schedule,” he murmured as they broke apart. She removed her hat and set it down on a table just to the side of the door. He let his hand roam down her shapely backside, knowing there were layers of nylon slip and girdle beneath the lightweight wool of her skirt. Maybe a nap could wait. Would she let him peel her out of each layer slowly this time?

Peggy rewarded him with a laugh before she leaned up to kiss him again. “I have a few items to add to your itinerary, darling.”

He wasn’t sure how long they spent, pressed against the door. Long enough for the shadows to change, lengthening over the stairs. Peggy’s stomach rumbled and Steve laughed. “Some things never change,” he said, a smirk on his face.

“Do people in the future not require nourishment at regular intervals?” Peggy quipped, smoothing her skirt back down. “If I��m hungry, I know you’re famished,” she said.

Steve dragged her hem back up a few inches. “I could eat.”

Peggy arched an eyebrow at him, her hand around his wrist. “Focus, darling.”

“I would be very focused.” He saw how her eyes darkened and her breath came just a bit quicker. He brushed the tips of his fingers against her thigh, keeping his touch light.

Her grip tightened and she exhaled. “Steve.”

He angled his head and let his lips graze the shell of her ear. “Peg.”

She sighed again, turning her head to kiss him firmly. “Lunch first.” She punctuated the imperative with a quick nip at his bottom lip.

“Is that an order?” he teased, chasing her lips as she pulled away.

Her eyes sparked at him as she put both hands on his chest. “It is indeed, Captain.” She stepped back out of his arms. “But if you find us provisions, you have leave to resume your mission after your wife’s been satisfied.”

Heat spread through his chest at that word. His wife. He couldn’t keep the goofy smile from taking over his face, even as he sassed back at her, “I’ve been trying to satisfy my wife this whole time, Mrs. Rogers.”

Peggy laughed as she took up her small suitcase, shaking her head with a smile that echoed his. “I’ll go freshen up. The kitchen’s back through there, and I expect Ana Jarvis will have left plenty in the larder.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” He resisted the urge to pinch himself as he watched her walk up the stairs. All the ways he’d struggled with the decision to find her, after everything that had happened to him—he’d nearly talked himself out of even trying to have this a dozen times. But somehow, Steve was here, with Peggy, and everything felt so right.

Even if they were technically on the run from the press.

Steve ventured to the back of the house, where the well-appointed kitchen was indeed stocked with food. Steve couldn’t remember if he’d ever learned when frozen french fries had been invented, but apparently it was before 1949. There was a box of those plus a few cans of Minute Maid concentrate in the freezer, along with a wealth of tupperware, all labeled in neat Palmer script with the contents and instructions for thawing and reheating. Steve whistled at the display and selected a stew to thaw for dinner later that evening.

There was a note taped to the fridge, and Steve scanned it quickly.

Peggy, my dear—

I’m desolate that I cannot offer you my heartfelt congratulations in person, and that my inspection of your illustrious gentleman will have to wait until Edwin and I return from our visit. Please help yourself to anything; I have arranged for more groceries to be delivered on Tuesday.

E says I must warn you that Bernard is suffering from some tropical malaise. But as sardines seem to cheer him up, I admit to being skeptical of my husband’s theory.

Affectionately yours,

Ana

Steve couldn’t remember who Bernard was supposed to be. But Howard had assured them both that his staff would give them their privacy while they stayed at his home, so Steve assumed the fellow would have to get his sardines elsewhere.

In the fridge, Steve found basic sandwich supplies. For his part, he was still a tiny bit sad that sriracha wasn’t yet a staple in American cupboards. Thinking of sriracha made him think of being on the run with Sam and Nat. Instead of shoving the memory aside, he let it wash over him. Two years of running that grief group had been good for many things, of course. But certainly, an unintended benefit was how it had prepared him to leave it all behind and return to Peggy.

Steve took the stairs two at a time, balancing the sandwiches, two glasses of water and a package of Oreos in his hands. He found Peggy down the wide hall, in a spacious bedroom with a private attached bathroom and a Juliet balcony overlooking Howard’s tree-filled side yard. She was still occupied in the bathroom, so Steve set down the food on one of the nightstands and pulled the inner lace curtains closed over the inset windows in the balcony doors, leaving the heavy velvet drapes open. The diffuse afternoon light that filtered through turned the room a cozy orange. By the time Peggy was done, he’d unpacked their suitcases into the closet and dresser provided, and stowed the bags underneath the giant four-poster bed.

She’d changed out of her suit entirely and had on her robe, her hair unpinned and falling softly to her shoulders in mahogany waves. “Sandwiches!” she said, and clambered up onto the bed beside him.

“Oreos, too,” he pointed out, delighted at her excitement over his extremely basic offering. “You were right about Mrs. Jarvis keeping the kitchen stocked. Which reminds me,” he fished the note out of his trousers pocket, “she left this for you.”

***

Peggy read the note quickly, mouth full of roast beef, and then tucked it under the water on the nightstand. Ana must have dictated it, as it wasn’t in her handwriting and she and Jarvis were on a trip to Europe, visiting cousins of Ana’s who had settled in the Netherlands after the war.

Steve had eaten a sandwich of his own, as well as several chocolate biscuits, and then he’d gotten up to hang his own suit and change into pajama pants as Peggy finished her own meal. Though it was three hours later by her internal clock, Peggy felt a bit of a thrill to be in her nightclothes in the daylight. She watched as the muscles beneath his white undershirt flexed with his movements, his physique somehow even more impressive now than when he’d first gone through the transformation of Project Rebirth. Peggy was grateful for all that had transpired to bring Steve back to her. She was grateful that the man he was now was with her in this time. She felt suddenly such a swell of overpowering love for him, she was happy to be sitting down as it hit. “Steve,” she managed, hearing the emotion thick in her voice.

He turned back to her, concern clear on his face. “Peg?”

She shook her head, smiling through the rush of feeling. She aimed for sultry when she spoke and tossed her hair behind her shoulders. “You have leave to resume your mission at your leisure.” She toyed with the tie on her robe.

Immediately, his eyes darkened and the concerned dip of his brows smoothed over. A hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “Is that so?” Peggy nodded, unknotting her robe so she could let the neckline fall open. As Steve realized she had nothing on underneath, she watched his breath deepen and his hands clench at the suit he still held. “Remind me where we were?” he teased.

Peggy licked her lips eagerly. “I seem to recall you promised satisfaction.”

Steve tossed the suit behind him, ensuring it would truly need a thorough pressing before he could wear it again. He prowled back towards the bed. “Did you have anything particular in mind?—”

Before Steve had even finished the question, there was a loud crash on the balcony, accompanied by a sound Peggy could only describe as a goose attacking a chalkboard. Steve immediately closed the distance between them, pulling Peggy off the bed and positioning her behind him. The sound came again, this time accompanied by some shuffling and … flapping?

Peggy slapped a hand to her forehead. “Bernard!”

#steggy #peggy carter #steve rogers #my fic #steggysecretsanta #steve x peggy #doctorhelena

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rogers-the-musical · 8 months

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I’ll never understand how people can think Steve putting down the Shield and going back is slandering his character.

All he’s wanted, besides to fight, is to go home, to have Peggy, to have his date. Yeah, they’re not sweethearts yet when he leaves. But the relationship he has — my goodness, it’s so unique and special. Their bond over being “less than”. The way Steve looks up to Peggy, tries to do right by her; and the way Peggy sees Steve’s goodness and steers him in the right direction to express that is amazing.

Steve and Peggy are both incredibly good people - but for Peggy, sometimes she needs the the inspiration and hope that someone like Steve gives her, as someone who’s seen so much bitterness in the world. And Steve, who is so good through and through, doesn’t always know where to put is good heart-how to express that with his actions, what the right thing to do would be.

Steve fought the biggest battle he could. He helped people. He suffered. And one thing the snap did teach him, was that both he and Natasha needed to “get a life.” Not because Avenging is bad, but because it’s a job. As Tony would say, it’s not the end goal.

There will always be another fight. Steve knows that. I know that. We all know that. But Steve recognizes that sometimes self-care, and retirement, are okay. He was depressed. He was weary. He was oh, so tired. He’d just fought the battle of a lifetime - perhaps the biggest battle in the world - and he left the world in good hands, with people he knew would take care of it. As for Bucky, I think we get enough characterization to understand that he is on his own path. We know they talked beforehand, and we know Steve wouldn’t have left someone who desperately still needed or wanted him. They would always be best friends. But for the growth of them both, it was time to part.

The rest of this mess really depends on what theory you take. For me, I’m more inclined to go with the same-timeline theory, because it makes more sense, and I like the idea of him being Peggy’s husband the whole time. But then, there are so many questions to bring up - according to the writers, there’s a lot of unknowns about the stones. If none are removed from their timeline, how can Steve create a branch reality? Maybe he tries to change things, helps Peggy with SHIELD - because why wouldn’t he? What if the outcome we get is as good as it is, as @melliabee said once, because of Steve’s involvement? What if it would have been worse?

Or what if time is just far too dangerous to mess with that explicitly? We don’t know what happens when you try to change something without taking out the time stones. Does it just backfire, in some loop where that’s always what happened? Or what if the “once scenario” in which they win against Thanos all depends on staying in that timeline? What if a single change - such as thawing his other self out- assuming he even knows where he is - makes it so that he’s no longer in the future in said branch timeline, and Thanos wins? What if everyone dies?

The writers said that their thoughts are that since there are two Steve’s - one in the ice and one not - he knows that everything will be okay, because he knows where frozen Steve is going and what’s going to happen.

And I think Steve would have recognized the dangerous of trying to change anything massive, and took that as a sign to rest.

And finally, for Peggy-for dear Peggy, who spends years grieving him and even longer moving on - can still love him while living her life. She can still miss him and change, but I don’t think either of them changed in any ways at their cores. They are still enough of the same people, that it would make sense to see a Steve come back ten years later to the best and most influential person of his life, and for things to still work out. And Peggy - having moved on, having started a whole life without him - could see the chance she has been given, understand she is getting a choice she might not have gotten, and decide that yes, she still loves him; and yes, she still wants him, so why not continue her work and allow him to continue to inspire her, perhaps in more ways than just his memory did?

I don’t understand the issue here. People saying Steve took away Peggy’s life are in the same way saying that he shouldn’t go back and try to rescue Bucky (which, in another branch, assuming it was safe to do so, he would have); because Bucky faces a lot of growth in the future. Why take that away from him, just as he would be taking Peggy’s growth away from her?

At the end of the day, Peggy moves on. But still, she loves him. Getting him back doesn’t take away that pain or growth, just gives her another chance at this choice in life-the choice to receive him back; the choice to get to know him, as the person she has become and as the person he has become, while still understand they’re the same at their cores; it’s the choice both she and Steve have always so desperately wanted.

So, then, I don’t think we can really complain too much.

Is it a good ending? Yes. A slandering one? Not so much. Every soldier has to return home sometime, and at the end of the day that is what Steve is - not even just a soldier, but just a good man moving on with his life.

#Avengers Endgame #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Steggy #sorry for the length I just got off on it lol

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stuckytoyoulikeglue · 8 months

Text

I've been wanting to get my thoughts on Steve's ending off my chest for literal years and I read something earlier that finally prompted me to write it all down.

This is entirely my own, personal, biassed opinion.

I do not want a fight. Or even a 'healthy debate', if I'm being honest.

If you don't agree, that's cool, just move along, nothing to see here.

Please don't be mean, I'm a delicate flower and I can't take it.

So... Like most of the people I've come across in my preferred branch of the fandom, I didn't love Steve's ending.

Unlike a lot of people, I didn't actually have a problem with the end result, just the motivation behind it.

Chris was done, Steve needed to be written out, Tony founded the universe and deserved to be its ultimate saviour, so the best case scenario was to give Steve a happy ending. I'm glad he got a happy ending. I love him, I wanted him to be happy.

But...

The exact same story arc, only without it being his choice, would still have given him the happy ending that Marvel presumably wanted for him. It would have given him the girl that got away, and the chance to finally live the life that he thought he'd lost, and all without betraying his character.

I still think it was incredibly dumb not to leave him trapped in the past (and making the most of it) after returning the stones, rather than having him choose to walk away (from everything, but especially Bucky, no matter how you see their relationship), but one thing that I keep seeing posts about (some joking, but most not), that I do not get at all, is why so many people seem to think that everything else would have played out exactly the same, just with him as Peggy's hubby instead of the man she married in the MCU timeline (I'm not debating here whether that was Daniel or not).

Yes, Steve's character was damaged by his choice to walk away, but he's still Steve. He wouldn't have sat idly by and watched Hydra sink its claws into the SHIELD Peggy was building in front of him. He wouldn't have just left Bucky to stew in Siberia. We don't even know if he actually put down the shield for any real length of time.

After all, he didn't return to pass it on to Sam until he was an old man, and the shield he passed along was a different shield. Maybe it was a new one that was made for him after his old one was lost to the ice, maybe he had it made specially to give to Sam, who knows? But what we do know as a result, is that whatever happened in his new timeline, it was not the same as what happened in ours.

Personally I choose to believe that Bucky lives next door, the Starks come round for tea most weeks, and everyone just dotes on ickle baby Tony, not least his dad. They're still in touch with the rest of the Howlies, though they don't get to see them as often as they'd like, and ideally Zola is rotting in a cell somewhere.

Admittedly, I'm not sure what I reckon happened to the original Steve from that timeline. Maybe he didn't survive the ice, maybe they defrosted him early and the two Steves started a rota for playing Cap so they both get a chance to actually have a life in between punching bad guys. Maybe he's living in sin with Bucky, pretending he's our Steve's identical twin brother if anyone ever sees them both at the same time. It doesn't really matter.

My point is that damn near anything could have happened in that new, mysterious universe, because the only certainty we have is that it was exactly like ours until Steve went 'back' to it, and it was definitely not the same as ours from that point on.

Butterfly effect and all, Steve's mere existence guarantees that it's different and, as I already mentioned, the shield that he gives Sam provides concrete proof of it.

Of course, I'm not saying things necessary played out any better. Maybe SHIELD didn't fall, but the governments of the world did. Maybe Steve saved Bucky only for him to be hit by a bus mere weeks after he brought him home to Brooklyn. But in no world did Steve sit there casually tossing a salad while fully aware that his brainwashed best friend was off to murder the president.

That is all (for now).

PS. I love Peggy. I'm still miffed they cancelled Agent Carter. I don't think having her marry Steve in an alternate timeline takes anything away from who she was or what she built in ours. Her legacy is entirely intact in our world, and in another world she was doubtlessly equally kickass, she just got to have Steve too.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #peggy carter #captain america #stucky #steggy #avengers endgame #i am absolutely going to regret posting this in the morning

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zaraomarrogers · 2 years

Text

Always and Forever - 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Series warnings: Fluff, Angst, sexual content, 18+ content, minors do not interact.

*~*

PART 1

Afternoon sun was shining through the large glass windows, illuminating the room with natural lights. Steve was leaning on the chair, feet up on the mahogany desk. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice when Tony Stark entered his office, dropping the pile of papers on the table.

"Rise and shine, Rogers! The world has moved on." He dropped himself on the chair across from Steve and eyed the blond man.

Tony was not just Steve's boss but both had become good friends. The kind of friends who could rely on each other. Getting an internship at Stark Industries wasn't really a problem for Steve. He'd been a straight A student throughout school and college. Not just his grades, but his willingness to adapt to the work ethics and leadership qualities got him to a position of one of the most competitive marketing executive in Newyork City. Tony had made the best decision when he offered him a job right after four months into his internship. He couldn't afford to lose Steve Rogers to other companies, mostly his rivals. And, today after almost four years later, Steve was the nominee of COO, a position second in rank to Tony's. He'd worked tirelessly to earn this position. Steve had put his heart and soul, blood and sweat to have that power. A power to be on top of his game.

"What brought you here Tony?" Steve asked with bored expression.

"Last time I checked I was still the boss. This is my office." Tony scoffed. "Sulking in the lunch hour and skip your lunch won't get her back in your life..." Tony raised his both hands when Steve shot him a glare.

"I need you to go to Boston for me...." Tony continued when Steve sat up straight in the chair.

"..... Pepper's showcasing her first Fall collection and I want you to go on my behalf."

"Why me Tony?" Steve spoke while gathering the papers Tony threw on the desk.

"Beacuse.... Pepper and I... we aren't on speaking terms right now. She's hired a divorce lawyer Steve, and me going there will only add fuel to fire. I don't want a divorce." Tony said exasperatedly.

"Then why did you push her to take that step Tony?" Steve said in a matter of fact tone.

"I didn't push her, that woman doesn't listen to me...."

"But you love her." Steve smiled.

"But I love her." Tony sighed, "I should have listened to her, I know I should have." Regret was present in Tony's voice.

"I will go to Boston, attend the showcase only if you promise to visit your wife and daughter after that. You'd offer the reconciliation Tony, don't let your pride ruin your relationship."

"What would you do if you were in my place, Steve?" Tony asked, lost in his thoughts.

"I'm not in your place Tony." Steve said standing up and collecting his things from the desk, "All I know is, I wouldn't trade what you've jeopardised for anything in this world." Pain reflected through his face and expression hardened.

"Email the flight schedule and details." He left the office because it was started getting suffocating.

His heart was breaking all over again and his mind was occupied by her thoughts only. Putting the car in gear, Steve didn't know where to go. He aimlessly driven through the roads, didn't know where to go - where to stop. He desperately wanted to go home but who's home. The one he was now living with his fiance, Peggy Carter. Or the one, he spent his childhood , his parents house, the sound of her laughter still echoed from his parents house where he had spent numerous hours with her. Loving her. Cherishing her. Breathing her.

Steve didn't have a home to go to because she was his home and he lost her four years ago.

~*~

“Mama wakey wakey...” small hands were softly poking her on tummy resulting in a groan. Y/n knew who it was, she smiled sleepily looking at her 3.5 year old son. “ Happy to you mama.” Little boy squeaked in excitement when he saw his mama smiling. “Good morning Mal-pal.” She said groggily and hugged him tight.

Enveloping in her arms, she caressed his cheeks. “i’s your happy to you day mama. Wakey now.” “Mmmhh it’s too early, cupcake. We still have thirty more minutes to sleep in. How long have you been up.” She kissed Malcolm’s forehead. “Dunno.” He shrugged his shoulders while tracing her facial features with his small fingers. A gesture took her four years back and she tried not to remember anything from her previous life.

This, right here, in her arms was her whole life. Her everything. Her son, Malcolm Steven Rogers. She didn’t have to look back at the hurtful past. She’d moved on, or so she thought.

“Okay Mal-pal, mama needs to take a quick shower and get ready. How about you wait here for me.” She ruffled his silky dark blond hair. Malcolm nodded, “Talk to me fwom in there?”

“Sure, how about you start with telling me how do you want to spend the day.” She lightly laughed and headed to the bathroom.

While Malcolm told her how he wanted to spend his mama’s birthday, she brushed her teeth and took a quick warm shower. By the time, she came back in the room twenty minutes later, Malcolm was sprawled on the bed, yawning.

“Chocolate chip pancakes or blueberry muffins?” she asked extending her arms so he could jump in her embrace.

“Nooo, you pick mama. Your happy to you.” He said circling his arms around her neck. She laughed heartily, descending down the stairs, she sat him up on the bar stool and started taking out two bowls and a box of lucky charms.

“Mama’s favourite is cereal Mal-pal, you sure you don’t want pancakes or muffins?”

“I wike ce’weal too.” Malcolm said a little less enthusiastically. Y/n knew she’d have to throw half of his bowl in the bin so she started making pancake batter from the instant mix.

“Good mornin’! oh looks like someone’s woken up early.” It was Alice Maximoff- Carter, Y/n’s step-mother. Her father, Daniel Carter married her few years ago.

“I’s mama's happy to you, Gwanny.” Malcolm said excitedly.

“Mornin’ Alice.” Y/n smiled knowingly. “Happy birthday Y/n/n.” Alice hugged Y/n tightly.

“Thanks.” She smiled. “Coffee's in the pot and pancakes on its way. You can have cereal as well.”

“I’d just take coffee first. Breakfast later with your Dad.” Alice took a seat next to Malcolm and listened to him telling her some thing animatedly.

Alice Maximoff-Carter was the epitome of kindness. Her blue grey eyes were full of love and empathy. Four years ago when Y/n came knocking down the door of her Dad’s house in the middle of the night, Alice quickly embraced her in a motherly hug. Y/n had craved the affection and love of a mother while growing up. Alice's kindness warmed Y/n’s heart and helped her adjust in her new life in a totally new city.

When Y/n left Newyork with her suitcase filled with few clothes and essentials, she was devastated. She had never thought it would happen. He would do such thing was not in the least of her imagination. She was crumpled up like a piece of paper. Heart broken and dejected, she felt like she had lost the purpose of life. He was her life. She didn’t know how to live in a world without him. She was slowly fading into nothingness when Malcolm came in to her life as a beacon of hope. A Ray of sunshine.

Three weeks after coming to Boston, she found out she was pregnant. She broke down in Alice’s arms, not knowing what to do with the news. The man who had shattered her, had left a part of him in her. Growing his child in her body was agonising. Every memory of them together kept her up all night. It was excruciatingly painful.... but it was all worth it. When she heard Malcolm’s cries, she cried with him. And when she held him for the first time and looked at him, first time in a while she felt like her stopped bleeding. She would finally get healed. Malcolm was the spitting image of his father, Steve Rogers who was unaware of his son's existence. Holding Malcolm for the first time in her arms, she promised to never look behind. She promised herself she’d stop waiting for Steve to come. She’d put everything behind her and live for her son. She’d give him all the everything she could. Malcolm became the sole purpose of her life.

~*~

The sound of her laughter was echoing through the walls as she wriggled underneath him.

“Stoooooppppp... oh Steeeve, please....” Steve was tickling her mercilessly.

“No, first tell me what did you say? C'mon y/n/n... ya know I won’t stop.”

“How’d I tell ya if you won’t stooopppp... “ And he stopped immediately.

“C'mon...” he nuzzled his nose in the crook her neck inhaling in her scent.

“I lied to Peggy that we’ve... you know... slept together.” A tinge of pink spread on her cheek and Steve kissed her, a light feathery kiss.

“Why’d you lie?”

“Because I wanted her to get off my back. She’d been annoying me the whole time we were at the club, so I lied.” Steve laughed and looked down at her lovingly. He was still very much settled between her legs. Holding his weight on his arms.

“Stop laughing at me, Steve, you know how difficult it is for me to spend a second with Peggy. And I had to spend a weekend with her.”

She pouted, circling her arms around Steve’s neck and pulling him more closer. “Y/n/n, I- you know.....” she cut him off with a tender kiss on his lips.

“I want to do it.” She whispered shyly.

“On my eighteenth birthday, Steve, I want us to... I want you to make love to me.” She had her face buried in Steve’s neck.

“Are you sure? You’re birthday is next week y/n/n. I want you to be completely sure before we ...”

“I am, Steve! I can’t be more sure about it. I love you.”

“I love you so so much y/n/n.” A sweet and sensual kiss became passionate and hungry in no time.

A pillow landed on Steve’s head brought them out into the real world. “Dinner's ready , Kids. Get your asses off the bed, hurry up.”

Sarah Rogers hollered over the hallway, she didn’t stay to witness her son making out with his girlfriend and her future daughter-in- law. She smiled at the thought of y/n and Steve getting married. She’d loved Y/n like her own child, even when Steve and Y/n were just best friends.

“You made chicken pot pie.” Y/n squealed in joy and sat down on one of the chair of the kitchen table. “Thankyou Sarah.” She said shyly and Sarah couldn’t help but gazed at her longer than usual. Y/n ‘s kissed swollen lips and flushed cheeks were giving away the prove of their previous activity. Not that Sarah mind. She was ecstatic to found out that finally Steve grew a pair and confessed his feelings to Y/n.

“Ma, that’s not fair. You always make y/n's favourite.” Steve came down after her like a lost puppy and took a chair beside her, intertwining his fingers with her.

“That’s your favourite too, Stevie. Remember, when she wasn’t here, you’d been asking me to make all her favourites.” Sarah laughed and Steve looked at Y/n sheepishly.

“In my defense, you been gone for two weeks and I was missing you terribly.” Steve said the latter part under his breath. Y/n gently squeezed his hand under the table.

Once the dinner was over and Sarah went to her room, Steve and Y/n made their way to the patio. His hand was wrapped around her, she laid her head on his shoulder. They were sitting in a comfortable silence just basking in the warmth of each other.

“I missed you too, you know that right.” She whispered softly.

“Mmmhh, I was counting days for your return. How was the trip anyway?”

“How would it be? It was Peggy and my mom and their obnoxious circle of riches.” She pressed herself more into him and Steve’s grip tightened around her arms.

“Mom was telling everybody there that I will be going either to Harvard or Columbia.... I didn’t like the sound of it, Steve. I don’t want to go anywhere without you.” Her tone was little desperate towards the end.

“Y/n/n....” he was having difficulty finding right words.

“I can’t go to Harvard or Columbia, unless they offer me full bright scholarship. Only college is NYU which is offering me scholarship and I can’t miss that chance....”

“You got accepted in NYU?” she cut him off disappointedly.

“I was suppose to surprise you when you come back from the trip.”

“It doesn’t feel like a surprise, Steve. I didn’t even apply for NYU.”

Tears started filling up in her eyes as she stood up. A sudden cold hit her after breaking from Steve’s warm embrace.

“Hey, hey Y/n/n, you’ve still got time to apply for NYU, last few days left. And I knew you wanted to go to Columbia.....” Steve took a hold of her hand again and pulled her close to him.

“.... so I’ve applied there as well, still haven’t heard from them yet. I don’t want to go to college without you either, Y/n/n. I can’t even imagine it. You have no idea how I spent two weeks without you.”

Taking a step closer to her, he placed his forehead on hers.

“It was hard for me too Steve. I realised that I c-can't spend a day without you.” She cupped his cheeks as Steve softly brushed his lips against her. A light feathery touch of their lips on each other sent tingles and an urge for more. She captured his lips, her desire for him was as clear as the day in that kiss.

“Wana apply for NYU?” Steve asked once they pulled apart to breathe. A hint of smile on his lips.

“Yes!” she kissed him hard one more time. “Take me to your room, Rogers.”

“Yes ma'am.” Steve scooped her in his arms, connecting their lips again and bumping into any solid that came into their way to his bedroom.

~*~

Steve was dumping his clothes and few other essentials in the suitcase when he heard the main door open and closed. Keys were thrown at the wooden coffee table and click of heels indicated that Peggy had arrived. He sighed, crease between his eye brows deepened. He wanted to avoid her at all cost. Peggy came into his view and he indignantly shut his suitcase close. Dragging it to the door of the master bedroom he came face to face with his fiancé.

“You going somewhere?” Peggy asked. He could smell a man's perfume on her, one he had stopped using long long time ago.

“Boston. Work trip.” He couldn’t be more to the point.

“When you come back, we’re going to spend some time alone.”

Peggy took a step closer to him. “Just the two of us.” She stepped into his personal space. “It’s been a while we get some down time. I’m gonna take few days off and we’ll do a short vacation trip to Hampton.” She inhaled in his scent, brushing her lips against his perfect jawline. “You, me and the endless ocean.” She placed a kiss on the corner of his lips. Steve’s knuckles turned white in a fist.

Steve took a step back. “I don’t know if I’m free for another month Peggy.” He stepped back, grabbing his suitcase and left the room.

Peggy turned around, once again stopping him in his way. Her tone was aggravated when she said, “I met Joey couple a days ago, and he told me he saw you with someone at the bar.” Her sweet tone she was using moments ago was gone.

“What else Joey told you?” Steve said raising an eye brow.

“That you were fucking a random bitch in the dark corner of the VIP lounge.” Peggy’s perfectly contorted face was emotionless.

“So what?” Steve’s voice was challenging, and for a moment Peggy was speechless.

“Not everybody has to know what kind of a relationship we have, Steve.” She clenched her teeth.

“Relationship?” Steve scoffed.

“Yes! Whatever this is for us, I don’t care but for them, we’re engaged to be married and I’d like to keep it that way.” Peggy was clearly pissed.

“Them who, Peggy?” Steve spoke bitterly. “They don’t give a shit about who we fuck behind each other's back, cause that’s what they all are doing. You and I are no different. You’ve been screwing District Attorney’s assistant, what’s his name, Jason, for a month now.... how’d you think I know?” Peggy turned pale. She wasn’t clearly expecting this. “I think its about time we finally drop the act and break it off.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest.

“Are you out of your damn mind? We can-"

Steve cut her off quickly. “I’m so sick and tired of pretending Peggy. I don’t want to be associated with you or your mom in any way whatsoever.” He didn’t want to raise his voice but it did.

“I agreed to do this because it was beneficial for both of our careers. Your mother played me into this but I can’t do this anymore. It’d be better you call it off. Blame it all on me, I’d handle it but....”

“You still love her, Don't you?” Peggy whispered. “You’re doing this because of her.”

Steve shook his head in disappointment. “I haven’t seen her in four years Peggy. I don’t even know where she is.” Peggy could see it in his eyes.

Sadness.

He didn’t even bother to hide his emotions whenever Y/n’s name come up in their conversation. Peggy didn’t know if it was intentional, but she’d realised long ago that it was a huge mistake on her part to get Steve and Y/n separated. She wanted what they have but she never wanted it with Steve. She’d been engaged to Steve for almost three years now but couldn’t bring herself to feel attracted to him in a romantic way. Steve moved away from in front of her, towards the main entrance of their apartment.

“I never stopped loving her.” Steve whispered, loud enough for Peggy to hear and hurried out of the apartment. It was too much for him. He was hurting way too bad today. Maybe because it was Y/n’s birthday and he was just too tired. Burden of guilt and regret had weighed him down and it’d become too suffocated to breathe.

Boston would be a good escape from all the hustle bustle of New York, he thought to himself. Little did he know what had been waiting for him in Boston.

“Kate, please cancel my flight ticket, I’m going to drive to Boston.” Steve informed his assistant over the call.

“Okay Boss, you want me to inform Mr. Stark?”

“Nope.” He disconnected the call and dialled his mom's number. Sarah picked up on second ring.

“I was thinking about you, Stevie. How are you, sweetheart?” Sarah’s voice was filled with so much love and affection for his only son.

“I’m good, Ma. En route to Boston, filling up for Tony.”

“Are you okay, son?” Sarah asked a little concerned.

“I don’t know, Ma.” He gulped, trying to swallow back the tears that were formed in his eyes. “Wish I could tell you.”

“I’m right here, Stevie. You want to make a stop before you leave?”

“It’s alright, mom. I’m already on highway. I’ll call you when I’m there.”

“Mhmm... You’ll be good.”

“I miss her.” His vision blurred with trail of tears, he’d tried hard to control.

“I miss her so much.” He whispered but Sarah could easily hear him. She knew her son was hurting and she couldn’t do anything to ease that pain away.

“Oh honey... wish I could help you, Stevie.” She felt the burn in her throat.

“I deserve this, Ma. It’s alright. I’m gonna be okay.”

“Steve, honey....”

“It’s okay, Ma. I’m good. Talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” In almost four or five hours , Steve would arrive in Boston. He’d have to attend Pepper’s first Fall showcase. He didn’t have least bit of an interest in fashion show but it was a favour for Tony. He tried to take his mind off of her by mentally planning his stay in Boston. His phone started ringing, he smiled at the caller ID, it was his best friend, his brother, Bucky. Little did Steve know that Bucky was Wanda's fiance and at the moment babysitting his son Malcolm while Y/n was the soul behind Pepper's Fall showcase. They were celebrating and launching Wanda as the main designer.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers au #Steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut

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stevetonyweekly · 4 months

Text

SteveTony Weekly - Jan 21st - Week 3

Here’s everything I read this week! I hope you find something you enjoy!

~*~

Hello. I've Been Waiting by j_gabrielle

Non-powered AU where Steve and Tony are in their late 20s and were high school sweethearts, married a year after their graduation - as Steve had wanted to save and then use his own money to buy Tony a ring. Though it hurt him to let Steve go to join the army, Tony knew it would have hurt both of them even more if Steve had stayed at home, miserable. They skype when they can, send emails (and the occasional letter because Steve is old fashioned that way - although Tony will never admit the amount of glee that fills him at seeing the physical envelope in his mailbox), and keep in touch as much as possible.

But there are still the long periods of time when there is no contact, and Tony can't help but worry and fret terribly about his husband overseas. One such period of time, Steve and Tony's friends (Bucky, Rhodey, the rest of the avengers, ya know), are surprised to get a group email from Steve - but happy at seeing that the reason: Steve is coming home early from his tour and wants to surprise Tony.

arei’s thoughts: I’m a sucker for Steve surprises Tony with a military homecoming. Short and sweet and lovely.

A ghost for Christmas by gottalovev

When she died, Peggy left Steve an old house in Connecticut. When he decides to spend Christmas there, Steve finds out that it's already inhabited... by a very handsome and kind of annoying ghost.

arei’s thoughts: this was so cute and the way that Rhodey came into it was really great. Loved it.

Something On My Mind by Thahire

During a team game of Never Have I Ever, Tony finds out that Steve has done—some things with men.

Things spiral from there.

arei’s thoughts: tony finding out about steve’s sexual past in a game with the team is a pretty niche trope and one i absolutely adore. Loved this.

Arrangements by Neverever

Tony has a no-strings attached, no-personal information, all-sex relationship with Steve. But things can change, can't they?

arei’s thoughts: FWB that doesn’t stay FWB is always a lot of fun.

Magical Moments by Becci_chan

It hadn’t been Steve’s best idea when he’d asked Tony to go with him to the Christmas market. Steve had only needed someone to keep him company, because sometimes crowded places still made him nervous. And because he liked Tony. A lot.

arei’s thoughts: it’s pure Christmas fluff. Plus, you know, Steve not knowing he’s head over heels for Tony is always fun.

Teeny Tiny OctoTony by MountainRose

Tony finds something in a HYDRA base, and it's about four inches tall and has a goatee.

And tentacles.

arei’s thoughts: i’m a big fan of tony as a octopus. They’re so smart?? And this one’s telepathic-ish bond with his octo counterpart was adorable!

All Roads Lead To by Anonymous

After Obadiah's betrayal, Tony hides in the depths of the Midwest to become a mechanic.

The Avengers come into his life anyway.

arei’s thoughts: I love the idea that some things are inevitable, and how this team came together was lovely.

Beyond Imagination by nakurumok

Tony swears he is fine. Really.

Sure, he was injured in the battle (only slightly), his suit was shut down after he was hit by some magical beam, crashed into the ground and lost conscious for nearly a day. But he is fine. Totally. Unquestionably.

Except, if he would admit it, he feels like he had gone through a few rounds of boxing with Hulk, while without the suit. He feels dizzy, and the ground seems floating under his every step and his head hurts like hell. But despite all of these, he is fine.

… and has he mentioned he sees Captain America, who should only exist in the comics, standing in his kitchen?

arei’s thoughts: The way things came out slowly and then all at once was lovely. It was clear that something was wrong, but how it played out was just--so nice.

we pick ourselves undone by laramara

It might appear that award-winning surgeon Tony Stark, the head of neurosurgery at Shield Hospital, well and truly has his life together. Now if he could only figure out how to tell people that his father, world class neurosurgeon Howard Stark, is locked away in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s, devise a way to get Chief Fury off his back for good, and work out what the hell he’s going to do about the weird on-again-off-again thing he has going with the head of cardio, he’d finally have everything sorted.

arei’s thoughts: I loved the setting of this and the softness between Tony and Steve in contrast to everything around them. So well done.

#stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #captain america #iron man #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

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riveramorylunar · 1 year

Text

Red Roses & Patched Hearts

Pairings: Professor Peggy Carter x Student Reader, MJ x Reader(Past), Peggy Carter x Steve Rogers(Past), MJ x Peter Parker (Present), Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Present)

Warnings ⚠️: Teacher x Student relationship, mentions of cheating, age difference(legal age gap), height difference, & Soft Peggy

Pet Names/Nicknames: Darlin, Sweetheart, Dear & Peg

Word Count: 2,715

I See The Light But Gay

New Year, New School. After Y/N found her girlfriend MJ cheating on her with the one and only Spider-Man she left the city. She couldn't face her or her best friend who was Spider-Man of course. She had moved to Tacoma, Washington and was beginning her second semester of senior year at Stadium High School. It was a beautiful school it looked like an old Victorian palace with its red bricks, black roofing and tan trimmings.

As she was walking to her new school not paying attention since she was just a block away, she looked up when she heard something screech to a halt. She looked up from her phone to see a person on a full black motorcycle looking at her with a black helmet on. "I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going" Y/N said she continued to apologize. "Would you stop with the rambling already" the person said with a hint of a British accent. Y/N shut her mouth before bowing her head. She walked over slightly blushing as she made her way to the school. As she entered the school the motorcycle had parked in the parking lot.

Y/N looked around the school awestruck at how beautiful the inside of it was. It looked more like a college than a high school. The lockers were black as all the walls were a dark brown. The floor had grey tiles. The classrooms had blue foss carpet in them as well as the teachers lounge. The students desks in the classroom were old fashioned desks still surprisingly in good shape. The teachers desks were old fashioned as well. The whole school looked victorian which made Y/N absolutely love it. "Hey um excuse me are you the new student" someone said causing Y/N to snap out of it. She looked ahead to see a girl with black hair and blue eyes. "Yeah I'm Y/N" Y/N said as she held her hand out causing the slightly shorter girl to smile. "Kate Bishop it's nice to meet you" the girl said as she shook Y/N's hand. "Come on I'll show you around before classes start" Kate said before walking off. Y/N followed her as she pointed to each classroom and said what they were for.

"The Seniors are on the third floor, the juniors and sophomores are on the second while the Freshman are on the first one" Kate said as the two made their way through the halls. Y/N followed Kate into the cafeteria. "This is the cafeteria obviously and the fun thing about this school is we're allowed to pick what we get to eat" she said as she clasped her hands together in excitement. "So I could ask for anything I want and they'll cook it" Y/N said and Kate smiled. "Well off the menu of course" Kate said before grabbing a menu from the table beside them. She held out the lunch menu for Y/N and she took it. "You can read that while I show you around the rest of the school" she said before skipping off. Y/N followed Kate as she read the menu.

After Kate showed Y/N around they headed to the fourth floor where the principal and teachers offices were. "Alright here we are" Kate said as she stopped in front of the principal's office. "Thanks Kate" Y/N said and Kate nodded before rushing off when the bell rang for first class. Y/N knocked on the door and heard a faint come in. She opened the door to see a man with brown hair and brown eyes. "Ah you must be Y/N Y/L/N correct" the man said and Y/N nodded as she closed the door behind her. "Com sit" the principal said and Y/N walked over before sitting down in one of the plush chairs. "I'm Tony Stark the principal of this school" the man said as he held his hand out for Y/N to take. Y/N shook his hand before pulling away. "I'm guessing you found your way around the school since you're here" Stark said as he smirked slightly. "Yeah Kate Bishop showed me around the whole school before she brought me up here" Y/N said as she smiled. "Ahh Kate she's a good student" he said as he put his feet up on the desk and leaned back against his chair while taking a sip of his coffee. "She's extremely friendly I have to say" Y/N said causing the man to chuckle. "A little too friendly" he said causing Y/N to join in.

"I'm assuming you know where room 115 is since Miss. Bishop showed up around already" Principal Stark said and Y/N nodded. "Yes sir" she said before she was handed a slip. "Well then hand this to the teacher when you walk in" he said as Y/N grabbed the small piece of paper. "Thank you Mr. Stark" Y/N said before leaving the office. She made her way to the stairs before going down them. She walked through the long hallway before stopping in front of a brown oak wood door that was closed. She knocked on the door and waited patiently until the door opened a couple seconds later. "Can I help you" the person said and Y/N looked up and swallowed the gasp that almost escaped her lips. The professor was quite beautiful. She had short brown hair that was pinned back. She had beautiful brown eyes that were behind a pair of reading glasses and perfect lips that were stained a red color. She was wearing a turtleneck shirt that hugged her body perfectly. The sleeves were slightly rolled up which allowed you to see a hint of a tattoo. Her shirt was tucked into a pair of black dress pants that hid the shoes she was wearing.

She wore five chain necklaces one slightly longer than the other. The longest necklace had the letter P on it while the others were just simple. She was wearing a couple rings as well. Y/N heard someone clear their throat making her snap out of it. She looked up to see the professor looking at her with a raised eyebrow knowing full well she was checking her out. "I uh... Here the principal told me to give this to you" Y/N stuttered out as she felt her face heat up. She held out the slip and the professor took it. Their fingers brushed against each other and Y/N pulled away when she felt a jolt. The professor looked down at the piece of paper before looking back up at Y/N. "Alright go ahead and take a seat" the woman said with a British accent before stepping aside to let Y/N in. Y/N walked past the professor who was a good 8 inches taller making her 6'2. As she walked past the professor she had gotten a whiff of Cherry and Cedarwood and some other scents she couldn't place.

She walked towards the only desk that was open which was right in front of the teacher's desk. "Great" Y/N muttered out as she sat down on the chair. She looked up at the desk and saw a name plate on the corner. It said Margret "Peggy" Carter on it and Y/N smiled slightly. Pretty name she thought as she heard the professor start talking again. Y/N looked behind the desk to see a motorcycle helmet making her eyes widened in shock. "Miss Y/L/N are you paying attention" the professor said causing Y/N to snap out of it and look up to see the professor standing right in front of her. "Yes Miss" Y/N said causing Miss Carter to raise an eyebrow before humming. "Pay attention" she said before walking back to the front.

"Miss Y/L/N can I speak to you for a minute" Miss. Carter said as Y/N was about to step out of the door. Y/N turned around and waited for the last student to leave before shutting the door. "If it's about the motorcycle thi-" Y/N was cut off when Miss. Carter chuckled before shaking her head. "No it's not about that but since we're on that topic you need to be more careful around here people drive fast here so I suggest you stay off that phone of yours got it" Miss. Carter said and Y/N nodded. "Yes Miss" Y/N said causing the woman to grin. "Good now onto the other thing I wanted to welcome you to Stadium Highschool, if you ever need anything just come to me and I'll help alright dear" Miss. Carter said and Y/N nodded. "Thank you" Y/N said and Miss. Carter smiled. Y/N left the classroom with a leap in her step as she smiled.

She headed to the cafeteria and waited in line until it was her turn to pick. "Can I have some mango chicken and sticky rice please" Y/N asked the cook and he nodded. "Good choice" someone said causing Y/N to look over to see Miss. Carter standing there beside her. Y/N blushed slightly as she looked away. She walked off to the side and waited. "What can I get for you Peggy" the man said and Miss. Carter thought. "I'll have the same thing as her" Miss. Carter said as she looked at Y/N who looked away causing Miss. Carter to smirk. "Alright it'll be out soon" the man said and Miss. Carter nodded before stepping aside as well. "So you like Chinese huh" Miss. Carter asked and Y/N looked up. "Yeah one of my favorite types of food" Y/N said and Miss. Carter smiled making Y/N smile back. "Here you guys go enjoy" they both looked up to see a cook holding towel bowls of Mango chicken and sticky rice in his hands. "Thank you" Y/N said as she carefully took the hot bowl before placing it on one of the trays she grabbed. Y/N looked up to see Miss. Carter looking at her already. "Have a nice lunch" Miss. Carter said. "You too Miss. Carter" Y/N said and they just looked at each other as she felt their hearts flutter. Y/N was the first to look away before walking away and to an empty table. The older woman sighed before making her way to her classroom.

It was the end of the day and Y/N made her way out when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned around to see Kate standing there smiling. "Oh hey" Y/N said and Kate's smile widened. "Hey how was your first day here" She asked as she stepped beside Y/N. "It was alright" Y/N said making Kate frown. "Did something happen" Kate asked and Y/N shook her head no. "No it was just a huge change that's all" Y/N said and Kate sighed. "Well you'll get used to it I have to go now hope to see you tomorrow" Kate said before she rushed over and hopped in a truck before it drove off. Y/N shook her head as she started walking back to her house when a motorcycle pulled up. Y/N stopped walking and looked over to see Miss. Carter looking at her. "Need a ride" she asked and Y/N shook her head no. "No it's fine I just live around the block" Y/N said causing Miss. Carter to raise an eyebrow. "Come on it's the least I can do for almost running you over" she said causing Y/N to blush. Y/N walked over and Miss. Carter helped her onto the motorcycle. "Thank you Miss. Carter" Y/N said causing the woman to laugh. "Please call me Peggy when we're out of school" she said and Y/N nodded.

It was nearing Valentine's day and Peggy and Y/N had spent more time together inside and outside of school. They started catching feelings for each other fast. Y/N walked into Peggy's classroom and saw her reading a book with her legs up on the desk. "Miss. Carter" Y/N said causing the woman to look up and smile. "Oh hello Y/N darlin" Peggy said causing a faint blush to cross over Y/N's. It didn't help Y/N's growing feelings whenever Peggy would call her those god damn pet Names. "What can I do for you Sweetheart" Peggy asked and Y/N walked over before placing something down on her desk. It was a box of chocolate covered strawberries. "When I saw this at the store I immediately thought of you so I had to buy it and give it to you" Y/N said as she watched Peggy take it before opening it. "You're an absolute sweetheart dear thank you" Peggy said as she stood up while setting the box down. Y/N watched as she walked from behind her desk and stopped in front of her towering over her. "Can I" Peggy asked and Y/N nodded making Peggy smile. She grabbed Y/N's hands and pulled her into a hug wrapping her arms around Y/N's neck. Y/N took a minute before wrapping her arms around Peggy and smiled. "Thank you again dear" she whispered out and Y/N pulled away before standing on her tippy toes and pecking Peggy's cheek. Y/N's eyes widened in shock before she pulled away. The two of them blushed and before they could say anything the bell rang.

Y/N walked over and sat at her desk before looking away. Peggy touched her cheek that Y/N kissed and sighed. She went back behind her desk and watched as students filled the room taking their seats. "As some of you might know next Tuesday is Valentine's day which I know some of you are excited for" Peggy started and YlN turned her head to look at Peggy who was already looking at her. Peggy averted her gaze to look around the classroom as some of the students cheered.

Valentine's day came around fast. The school was in chaos with boys and girls handing out roses, chocolates and candy to their Valentine's. Tony had given all the teachers a little something. Peggy was leaning against her desk with her legs crossed and arms folded as she waited for someone. She looked behind her and looked at the bouquet of roses and the heart box full of chocolates sitting on top. It felt like she was in highschool all over again with how nervous she was. "You wanted to see me Miss. Carter" someone said causing her to look up to see Y/N standing in the doorway. "Yeah come in and close the door behind her" Peggy said and Y/N walked in before shutting the door behind her. Peggy pushed herself off of her desk before facing Y/N. "I wanted to ask you something" Peggy said and Y/N frowned. "It's nothing bad so you don't need to worry about that she continued causing Y/N to sigh in relief. Peggy breathed in and out before grabbing the bouquet of roses and the box of chocolates. She looked up to see Y/N looking at her waiting patiently. "I uh I wanted to ask you if you would like to be my Valentine's if you don't want to that's fine I mean da-" Peggy was cut off when Y/N threw herself into her hugging her tightly. "Of course I'll be your Valentine Peg" Y/N said and Peggy wrapped her arms around Y/N's waist. Y/N pulled away after a couple seconds and Peggy set the stuff down before cupping Y/N's face. "Can I" Peggy asked as Y/N grabbed hold of her wrists. "Please" Y/N said and Peggy leaned in and kissed Y/N on the lips.

The two of them felt sparks ignite when their lips touched. Their hearts were mended back together finally able to feel loved again.

#Peggy Carter x Reader #Peggy Carter #Professor Peggy Carter x Reader #Professor Peggy Carter #MJ #Peter Parker #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Tony Stark #Kate Bishop #MCU #Marvel #River's Stories 📜#Lesbian

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