Part 3
~ howdy! it's here ..I don't fully know how I feel about it, I might keep editing it at another point, but I've taken the piss with keeping you waiting for so long, I just want you to have something ~
~ it's long - I thought the other two were bad enough but this is longer than both of them combined. it's 26k words so I'm very sorry, and I do understand if that's too much for any of you ~
~ I don't know how to break it up to make it easier, or more fun, for you to read. I hope it doesn't put all of you off, but unless you're an incredibly quick reader ..you will probably have to read this one when you genuinely have nothing else to do ~
~ I'm not sure how well this chapter will go down, this could well be the end of our little journey together ~
~ I've had a lot of fun writing for all of you if it is, despite me stressing myself out with it! you've all been very kind and lovely, and however you've enjoyed any part of my writing, I've really appreciated every interaction ~
~ whether you liked, reblogged, or sent me a little message - every single one of you has made me smile, so I really hope this doesn't disappoint any of you too much! ~
~ good luck! good bye xx ~
Part 1 Part 2
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Rain is absolutely not what you signed up for when you agreed to come to Barcelona with your sister. Travelling all the way to sunny Spain, and bringing the bloody British weather with you as you go? What a horrible little joke. Â
Youâre not going to be the sun-kissed envy of your friends if it stays like this, youâll be going back to London even paler than you were when you left it. ��
The rainfall dribbles down the outside of the window, opposite where you rest your forehead, and a mournful sigh escapes your lips as you look out at the abysmal sight of the city streets down below. You draw a smiley face with your finger, where your breath fogged up the glass, and you try to mirror the expression on your own face as you extract yourself from the pane and flop back down onto the bed with a very dramatic groan. Â
Itâs already been one of the longest mornings of your life, and itâs only just turned 10:00. Â
Sleep eluded you once again last night. Every hour, on the hour, you watched the clock tick over. Seconds suspending themselves in the air, minutes moving like molasses, as you counted infinite sheep in your head. Time flies when youâre having fun, as they say, but boy does it drag its heels when youâre praying for it to soar. Â
Despite your fun little belief that you mightâve finally been sleeping soundly last night, it didnât actually come to fruition. It turns out that itâs quite difficult for someone to fall asleep after finding out that the woman theyâre falling for has secretly been a famous sporting icon the whole time that theyâve known her. Whoâd have thought?Â
Itâs still a little hard for you to wrap your head around. The fact that sheâs a bit famous, and her celebrity status stems from football of all things. Even with detective skills as exceptional as yours, that possibility never crossed your mind. Â
Exhaustion is starting to plague your body after so many restless nights, and the antisocial behaviour youâre demonstrating because of it, isnât largely appreciated by your sister. Abandoning Em to go and have breakfast on your own, before she had chance to wake up and join you, wasnât a deliberate act of cruelty from you, you genuinely thought you were doing her a favour by letting her have a lie in. Â
You are on holiday together, though, so she didnât fully enjoy waking up alone in your shared hotel room. She made that much abundantly clear to you, with the countless strongly worded text messages that you received as you awkwardly traipsed back upstairs to apologise to her. Â
A silent and forceful barging into your shoulder was all that greeted you, as you returned to the room and she made her exit from it. Â
Itâs unfortunate. Sheâs in a pissy mood, the weatherâs in a pissy state, and you have to go to a pissing football match later on this evening. What a cruel world it is that youâre living in. Â
Itâs very unnatural that your one saving grace of the day is the pissing football match that you have to attend. That being one of the highlights of your holiday, really wonât make much sense at all to any of your friends when you tell them about it. Â
You stare longingly at your phone for a while, tapping your fingers over your torso as you wait for Emâs return from breakfast. You let out a soft sigh as you gaze up at the ceiling, before gently closing your eyes, in the futile hopes of having a quick nap. The darkness behind your eyelids allows your mind to wander all too freely. Which it very quickly does, to more thoughts of Alexia. The same way that it has done, since the very first moment that she so casually waltzed into your life. Â
This morning, however, itâs not thoughts of confusion, that cloud your brain. Sexuality concerns and hopeless pining are far from the forefront of your mind. Itâs excitement that envelops you, anticipation. The fact that youâve found your impossible-to-find woman, and that sheâs no longer impossible for you to find at all. She may very well be one of the easiest people to locate, in all of Barcelona, as it happens. Knowing that you get to see her, at least one more time again this evening, even if itâs only from a distance, is a promise that has an involuntary smile tugging at the corners of your lips, and your heart doing cartwheels inside of your chest. Â
Thereâs the distinct feeling of potential that hangs in the air for tonight. You canât pretend that youâre not feeling hopeful about seeing her a little bit more up-close-and-personal than just from your seat in the stands. Youâd quite like to be able to congratulate her, if the scoreline goes in her favour. Â
You pull the neck of Alexiaâs sweatshirt up over your face, in an attempt to fully bring the possibilities to life in the playground of your imagination, and you let out another sigh as you rest your hand over your stomach. Â
It really doesnât smell enough like her anymore, but it still your favourite item of clothing, as it is still very much hers. Itâs the most effective key for unlocking your memories with her, and you breathe it in deeply, as you let your thoughts of her consume you. Â
You really are feeling desperately needy, youâve already been in this position once this morning. Â
Itâs not a hunger thatâs ever infiltrated your body and mind quite so fervidly. Youâre not a particularly clingy person, youâre not usually so obsessive, or lustful. Youâre certainly hot-blooded, and you know how to enjoy yourself, but thereâs never normally this type of craving in you for another person. Â
Having your mind be so fanatical about someone else really isnât something thatâs ever overcome you quite so powerfully. Itâs a rare sort of desire in you, that only sheâs been able to spark, and itâs proving very difficult to satiate it. Â
Your hand wanders slightly, as she takes over your head, the tips of your fingers trailing the waistband of your shorts, before the excessively loud opening and closing of the hotel room door, abruptly halts you from getting too invested in your fantasies. Â
You turn your attention to your sister, removing your fingers with an unfortunate twang, as the elastic hits back down your skin, and you slowly free your face as she obliviously trudges across the room. Â
You offer up an apologetic smile for abandoning her earlier, as she places her coffee on the table, and, with a piece of toast dangling from her mouth, she smiles back at you, the power of a full stomach seemingly diluting her previous feelings of anger. Â
Her smile quickly contorts into a mischievous little grin, and thereâs a glint in her eye, as she pounces on the bed. Â
âAre you good?â You chuckle, as she rummages next to you, but she doesnât gift you with any verbal reply. Itâs your phone that sheâs interested in, you realise, and you hold out your hand, for her to return it to you. âBehave.â You warn her, but she only giggles at the unlocked screen and shakes her head at you. Â
âDo you have a new girl crush?â She mocks, goading you as she waves the device in front of your face. âBig into Alexia Putellas, are we?âÂ
âI was just ..familiarising myself.â You tell her, shuffling yourself a little, as a soft pink hue rushes to your cheeks. Â
âIs that what youâre calling it?â She scoffs. âYou know, I also tend to search for someoneâs back tattoos when Iâm trying to memorise their face!âÂ
âI wasâ I ..can I have my phone back, please?â You sigh, giving up on any attempt at trying to defend yourself. Â
You donât need to defend yourself to her. You like Alexiaâs tattoos, and simply wanting to see them again, is merely an appreciation of art. Thatâs entirely innocent enough. It wasnât a perverse search; it didnât come from a sinful place. Â
The fact that it immediately triggered flashbacks to you tracing over all of them with your lips, really wasnât exactly your fault. It was unintentional, an almost reflex response from you. Â
Letting yourself get mildly carried away with remembering how Alexia had kissed along your own body and how her lips had this wonderfully curious tendency of just always roaming down. The little knot that tied itself in your stomach, and your breath hitching as you relived the eye contact that she made with you before she had your back arching under her. Â
Thatâs all a little less innocent, maybe, but it still wasnât deliberate. It couldnât be helped; it was just an automatic reimagining of events. Â
Youâre allowed to do that, theyâre your memories. Itâs entirely permissible for you to take a little journey through them every once in a while. Itâs been over a month for you, and you have some overdue frustrations. Thatâs not a crime, youâre not a pervy creep. Â
âYou have a real thing for Spanish women at the minute, huh?â Em recognises, pulling you from your dirty thoughts again as she drops your phone down onto your stomach and takes another bite of her breakfast. Â
âMhmm. I quite like her tattoos.â You tell her casually, and she smiles back at you with a raised eyebrow. Â
âWhenever youâre ready for me to do your next one, let me know!âÂ
âMm.â You mumble, as you feel the ink on your rib cage begin to sear under her stare. Â
You really do like tattoos, but thereâs a reason that you only have the one on you. Your distinct lack of body art probably doesnât seem like the greatest advertisement for your sisterâs abilities, but itâs your own indecisiveness, and aversion to needles, thatâs stopped you from getting too many, not her deficiency of talent. Maybe youâre a little bit squeamish, but it really did hurt. Â
âYouâre a big baby.â She laughs at you as you rub at the side of your body, trying to relieve the faint burning of your skin, and she claps the remnants of toast crumbs from her hands onto the floor, as she lays next to you. âWhat do you fancy doing today?â She asks you. âIâm sorry about the shit weather, thatâs kinda fucked with your tanning plans.âÂ
âItâs not really your fault, but I was going to ask for your help, actually. If youâre feeling a little guilty?âÂ
âOh?â She turns her head, furrowing her brow at you, her interest piqued, and you let out a sigh as you swallow your pride. Â
âI was hoping, maybe youâd help me learn some football things.âÂ
âFootball things?â She scoffs, but you donât let her mockery deter you, as you nod at her decidedly. Â
âMhmm.âÂ
The back of Emâs hand very quickly finds itself pressed against your forehead with a quiet little smack, and you scrunch up your face in confusion as she frowns down at you. Â
âWhat on earth are you doing?âÂ
âAre you feeling okay?âÂ
âOh, for fuckâs sake, yes!â You sigh, pushing her arm away from you to stop her from checking your temperature. âIâd just like to know some things. Stop me from going into the match so blind.âÂ
She narrows her eyes, considering you for a moment. âWhat do you want to know?â She asks, and you wince at the freedom sheâs granted you. Â
âJust like ..playersâ names, probably? I think thatâd be helpful. Maybe some basic rules.â You shrug. Â
She continues frowning at you, and you buckle a little under the intensity of her stare. Â
âWhat?âÂ
âYouâve never cared before..â she reminds you, the suspicion in her eyes only increasing, as you release a small huff through your nose. Â
âThatâs not really true..â You try to start arguing, but itâs a completely pointless activity, youâre both far too aware that youâre completely lying.
Football has existed for your entire life, and youâve been interested in it, a grand total, of zero times, before now. You find out that itâs Alexiaâs favourite thing to do, and you suddenly want to know everything you can about it. It's entirely tragic of you, and it's too convoluted of a confession to share with your sister right now. She was useless enough when you admitted to a single kiss with another woman, trying to explain all of this mayhem would absolutely break her little brain.
âIâve definitely cheered with you a couple of times!â You offer and she shakes her head, laughing loudly at you. Â
âNo no no!â She states. âQuietly saying âwoo teamâ when I tell you someoneâs scored, is not cheering with me! I told you Rachel Daly scored once, and you still threw your fist in the air!âÂ
âWhatâs wrong with that?âÂ
âShe plays for Aston Villa!â She points out, smacking your shoulder, and you let out another tiny huff. âI could tell you that Emma Hayes had scored, and you wouldnât question it.âÂ
âWhy would that be weird, is she the goalkeeper?âÂ
âFor fuckâs sake!â She sighs, scraping her hands down over her face. âSheâs the manager.âÂ
Yikes. You really are an idiot. Â Â
âWell.. okay..â you wince, âand thatâs why I need your help.â Â
âWhy does it matter?â She asks. âThisâll be the only match you ever watch.âÂ
âMaybe, but I quite like the woman who gave me that shirt.â You admit, gazing over at it as you play with the hem of the sweatshirt youâre wearing. âI donât want to let her down by knowing nothing.âÂ
âWill she be there today?âÂ
âMhmm.âÂ
Em contemplates for a moment, and you know that look in her eyes, sheâs about to cave in. You sit up on the bed, readying yourself to deliver the final blow to her composure. Â
âPlease?â You say, pouting with a perfectly rehearsed, quivering bottom lip.Â
âNooo! Not the puppy dog eyes.â She groans, averting her gaze from you to try and stay strong. You donât back down, and she lets out a pathetic cry of defeat when she catches your expression again. Â
âThereâs not much else for us to do until this rain stops.â You point out innocently. Â
âThatâs not true! Thereâs that aquarium you wanted to go to?âÂ
Itâs a valid point from her, but rather incredibly, itâs no longer as appealing an option to you. You want to embrace football today. Itâs important to Alexia, and sheâs becoming important to you. As such, football ..is also important ..to ..well, no. Letâs not push it. She isnât your girlfriend; you donât need to be footballâs number one fan just yet. Football will be tolerated by you, until further notice. Â
You plead to your sister again, adding a small sniffle after your words for extra impact, and her resolve is positively crumbling in front of you. Â
âYouâre really serious, you want to learn about football?âÂ
âMhmm!â You grin, excitedly crossing your legs, to fully show that you mean business. âPlease!âÂ
âFine.â She chuckles, rolling her eyes at your childish little excitement. Â
âThank you!â You grab her head to place a kiss to the top of it, and she quickly pushes you off of her. âIâd just like to know enough, though.â You clarify, before she starts getting too carried away with her lesson planning. âJust enough to stop me from looking like a fool.âÂ
âWell, steady on.â She snorts, with a roll of her eyes as she reaches for her sketch pad from the nightstand. âWeâve only got a day!âÂ
Thereâs a lot of information for you to learn it turns out, and you really hope Alexiaâs worth all of this relentless studying youâve subjected yourself to. Â
It isnât just her teammates that you end up memorising. Em also makes sure to teach you some footballing fundamentals, what âbeing offsideâ really means, how the Champions League works, and she takes a great twisted pleasure in letting you know that tonightâs game of all games, could go to extra time and penalties, if no side is able to score more sodding goals than the other. Â
Youâre definitely being tested. 90 minutes is all that you signed up for when you agreed to watch the football, not a possible 120 with the looming threat of a penalty shootout attached to it. Itâs entirely far too much. Why the hell is this Alexiaâs favourite thing to do? Why are you still so into her? This is unbearable. Â
It proves a little hard for you to keep concentrating on all of the facts that your sister keeps throwing at you, but she very quickly realises, that letting you watch some of Alexiaâs highlights at irregular intervals, keeps you from getting too bored with everything else.
 Â
It quite amusing to you, to see Alexia wearing the captainâs armband, if you can believe. This nightclub nuisance, taking on a leadership role? That doesnât seem right at all. Â
Club captain, best on the team, best in the world? Turns out, itâs you that has the impeccable taste in women. Â
Sheâs very sexy in her little football kit and watching her kick a ball around is surprisingly entertaining. Sheâs also very good, even you can see that, and the fact that sheâll occasionally lift her shirt when sheâs a little frustrated with herself? Well, replaying that in slow motion is entirely fine and acceptable. Â
Thereâs no real heterosexual explanation for your enjoyment of it, but you can pretend itâs merely an appreciation of fitness for you to keep pausing all of the videos and zooming in on her body. Â
Itâs not something that you ask to learn about, but Em canât help mentioning all of Alexiaâs achievements to you. Itâs very fun to find out about everything, and thereâs a genuine sense of pride in you for all of her plentiful accolades. Â
It does feel a little misplaced, perhaps. You probably still donât know her well enough to be just as proud of her as you are, youâve certainly not known her long enough to be quite so pleased for her. Â
Itâs also slightly daunting, maybe, realising how decorated she is. Finding out about her FIFAâs best awards, the World Cup, her consecutive Ballon dâOrs. Â
This is a very highly celebrated woman that youâve been mingling with.  Â
Sheâs widely regarded as the greatest womenâs player, of all time. Itâs not just your sister thatâs been saying it, Alexiaâs been awarded for it, on the television, in front of the whole world. Thereâs a mural of her in Barcelona, a viewpoint thatâs been named after her, and it turns out, that thereâs a fairly huge amount of people that really enjoy calling her La bloody Reina. Sheâs revered by these people, almost worshipped. Â
Youâre not letting it get to you too much. Yes, sheâs widely adored, sheâs won pretty much every single award itâs possible for her to achieve, and sheâs only just turned 30. Sheâs famous and well-loved and youâre just a little nobody from London, but youâre not letting that get to you too much.  Â
That probably wouldnât be very wise. That would bring questions into your head, and make you start doubting yourself. Thatâs not a fun thing for you to do. Why would you do that?  Â
Donât do that, youâll start spiralling. It doesnât take much to get you overthinking. You spent the past month questioning your sexuality because of one single night with another woman. Donât let yourself worry about it, that wonât end very well for you. Donât let her success in her career start clouding who she is to you. Sheâs still just the confusing lime woman, at the end of the day.  Â
Donât start thinking of her as Barcelonaâs sweetheart, Alexia Putellas. Thatâs putting her on a pedestal that youâll never be able to reach her on up there. Thatâs very careless of you, to leave her up there on it without you sitting next to her, donât do that. Sheâs just a woman. A very beautiful and successful woman. Thatâs fine, thereâs lots of them about. Calm down. Â
The rain finally relents a few hours before the big match, and while it doesnât really grant you a huge amount of time to do anything too adventurous, it is a relief to realise that you wonât be getting completely drenched as you watch Alexia play. Â
Em makes a rather hasty escape to the beach, as soon as the sun makes its long-awaited appearance. She hasnât enjoyed your little study session quite as much as you have. You really just canât win with this woman. Sheâs grumpy when you hate football, sheâs grumpy when youâre a fan of it. She really just loves being grumpy with everything. Â
Your constant refusal to be taught anything about the Chelsea players probably didnât help you to keep her happy, though. Your insistence that Barcelona is the far superior team, didnât go down very well with her either. Your new âgirl crushâ on Alexia Putellas was something she began to find really irritating. You were almost actively trying to wind her up, actually. Maybe you did deserve her abandonment, looking back. You were lucky the rain kept her about for as long as it did. Â
She didnât ask if you wanted to join her at the beach, but youâd have decided to stay where you are anyway. Making sure you really have learnt enough for tonight, is your number one priority at the moment. Quizzing yourself and rewatching a few more compilation videos, is far more important to you than the city around you. The tan you actually came out to Spain for really is taking a hit today, but you can enjoy Barcelona a bit more tomorrow. Â
Youâre having a small dilemma in the hotel bathroom, as youâre getting yourself ready for the game. Itâs an escalating concern for you, and one that your sister is growing increasingly frustrated with you for. Youâre going to be late to the match if you donât start getting a move on.      Â
Em barges into the bathroom, startling you as you study yourself in the mirror, and you narrow your eyes at her reflection as she stands in the doorway, staring at you.     Â
âWhatâs taking you so long?â She asks, with a very clear tone of exasperation.      Â
âIâm debating.â You tell her thoughtfully, ignoring her choice of intonation completely, by offering her an innocent little smile, as she lets out a very long and loud groan behind you.      Â
âOf course, you are.â She mutters, and she leans against the doorframe, preparing herself for you to begin your impending little spiel.      Â
âRight. So, I want to have the whole shirt on display.â You begin, gesturing down the front of your body and tapping your fingers to the lettering across your back. Â
âOf course, you do.â     Â
âRight. So, Iâm thinking, hair up,â you explain, demonstrating your vision as you carefully scrape your hair up into a ponytail, before narrowing your eyes at your sister again, to see if she can also see the problem with your plan, âbuuut..â    Â
âIs that a love bite?!â She exclaims, rushing towards you and tugging at your shirt collar to examine the light bruising on your neck.      Â
âEx-actly!â You sigh in defeat, letting your hair cascade back down as you grab your makeup bag again, to have another go at concealing the little gift that Alexia left on you yesterday. âI knew I hadnât done a good enough job with it.â     Â
âHow did you get a love bite?!â She asks, still clearly shocked by your rather tame, levels of promiscuity, as she pushes you away from her in disgust.  Â
âThe usual way.â      Â
âA man sucked on your neck?â     Â
âIs that how you usually get your love bites?â      Â
She pulls an immature face at you and flips you off in the mirror. âIâm 24!â She says, indignant. âI havenât had a love bite in years!â     Â
âWell, thatâs very sad and tragic of you.â You tell her with a sympathetic pout. âI can only apologise that youâre so prudish and boring, I hope youâre able to recover from that soon!â     Â
âYouâre in a very annoying mood.â She recognises with a sigh, frowning at your reflection as you carry on with your camouflage attempt. âWeâve only been here a day! I thought I was supposed to be the slutty sibling!â     Â
âYou are the slutty sibling.â You remind her with a chuckle. âYou were in a relationship just last week, and Iâve already had to make breakfast for three different girls since you broke up!â     Â
She smiles at you, very proudly, because sheâs very very gross, and has absolutely no shame in it.      Â
âItâs no wonder you looked so happy last night, then.â She says, carefully inspecting your neck for you. âThatâs covered it, youâre fine.â     Â
âMm. Thank you very kindly!â You tell her, giving her a great big kiss on the cheek for her assistance, that she very quickly rubs back off again.      Â
âBe less annoying!â She begs.      Â
âI will not be making any promises!â You warn her, smiling widely as you tie your hair up and give yourself another once over. âHow are we looking?â You ask, giving her a quick twirl.      Â
âTraitorous.â She grumbles. Â
âPerfect!â You squeal, excitedly grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the hotel room with you. Â
Your enthusiasm doesnât die out at all, as you clamber into the taxi with your sister, and, as luck would have it, your driver is an even bigger culer than you are. Youâre able to have a pretty in-depth conversation with him, what with all of the new knowledge that youâve so recently acquired, and Emâs just ecstatic for the pair of you.
It isnât a long drive from the hotel to the stadium, but you do clearly make quite the impression on the driver, as you end up having to reject, with as much politeness as possible, his invitation of a date for after the game. Â
Youâre really hoping to have other plans tonight, with some much-preferred female company.     Â
âHeâs not ugly.â Em informs you quietly as you get out of the car, and she certainly isnât wrong. Â
âNot uglyâ is just about as big a compliment as Em will ever give, regarding a man. So, you can rest assured that he is actually a very good-looking gentleman. She narrows her eyes at you suspiciously as you close the door to the vehicle, and you furrow your brow back at her. Â
âWhat?â    Â
âYou can agree to go out with him tonight, you donât need to look after me.â     Â
You shake your head at her, with a mild grimace, muttering out an âmmâ, as your only offering of an explanation for your lack of interest in him. âNo doubt youâll be going home with someone else after the match?â You check, trying to switch the focus back to her. Â
âNaturally.â She winks. âItâs been an unsuccessful holiday otherwise!â    Â
There's still an unfortunate level of determination in your sister to get you a date for tonight, and you have to really insist, that you simply donât want the driverâs number. She eventually reluctantly agrees to let him take off, giving him an apologetic nod as he rolls up the window, and you give her an uncomfortable smile as she turns her attention back to you. Â
âI really think you should be getting back on the horse.â She encourages, still eyeing you with suspicion as you start the short walk to the stadium. âYou canât waste your life pining after Jamie forever.â     Â
âIâm really not doing that.â You tell her with a sigh. âI just didnât want to go out on a date with him.â     Â
âDo you already have plans with hickey-man?â She giggles. Â
âPlease donât call them that,â you chuckle, âand no ..not technically.â     Â
âBut thatâs who youâre hoping to find again?â     Â
âMhmm.â You mumble, trying to stifle the smile thatâs pulling at your lips. Â
âIs he nice?â     Â
âMhmm.â     Â
âIs he attractive?â     Â
âMhmm.â     Â
âDo you like him?â She asks, wiggling her eyebrows at you.     Â
â..Mhmm.â You reply again, and your slightly nervous smile fully takes over your face. Â
âOh ..you really like him. After just one love bite?â She questions, narrowing her eyes at you again. âYou donât usually fall so quickly.â She tells you, and you can only shrug at the suggestive tone to her voice.     Â
âI donât really know what you want me to say to that?â     Â
âI just ..want you to be careful.â She explains. âI donât want you getting hurt again.â     Â
âYou were just trying to bag me a date with him?â     Â
âYeah, but as a one-night thing.â She clarifies. âFalling in love with a random Spanish man isnât the best way of getting over your ex.â     Â
âIâm not in love with them, and Iâm not ..really still trying to get over Jamie.â     Â
âHm. Good. He was a prat.â She reminds you with a rather disgusted looking frown at the memory of him.   Â
âThanks, Em.â  Â
âUgly cheating bastââ    Â
âOkay, Em. Enough.â    Â
âBut he was an ugly cheating basââÂ
âEnough!âÂ
âSorry. He was a horrible dickhead, though.âÂ
âI know.â You sigh. âI get it, thanks.âÂ
âHe still gets to you?â She realises, noticing that your hands have balled themselves into tight fists, and your stomach turns slightly as you shrug your shoulders at her. Â
âA little.â You admit, as a less exciting reimagining of events begins to torment your brain. âI thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, only to find out heâd been sleeping around for two years.âÂ
âTwo years?â She asks, eyes going wide, and you kick yourself for saying too much. Â
âI thought I already told you that.âÂ
âNo ..you told me heâd been with a few women. Two fucking years?âÂ
âPlease donât do the maths, youâll hate him even more.âÂ
You attempt to walk away, already having had enough of the conversation, but you donât get very far. Â
âYou are joking.â She says, grabbing your arm to stop your escape attempt. âHe cheated on you, because Mum died?â     Â
âNot because Mum died, you idiot. Even he wouldnât be that foul.â    Â
âBut itâs linked?â    Â
âEnough, please.â  Â
âNo. What the fuck, Y/N?â     Â
âThatâs enough, okay. I just want to enjoy the match. We can talk about it later.â    Â
âWe can talk about it now! I have the tickets,â she reminds you, with a very clear anger brewing in her, âyouâre not getting in there without me! Why the fuck would he cheat on you aftââ    Â
âBecause I didnât really fancy having sex with him straight after.â You interrupt, in a hushed tone, trying to stop her from causing a scene. âI didnât fancy having it for a while, he clearly had ..needs.â    Â
âDonât justify it.â   Â
âIâm not ..but ..I understand why he did it. I practically pushed him into the arms of other women.â    Â
âThatâs disgusting, Y/N. You canât really be blaming yourself for it?â    Â
âWell ..I donât know..â You mumble.  Â
âHe cheated on you for two years, because you didnât want to sleep with him for a bit, and you think thatâs okay?â Â
âThatâs not what I said. I just ..get it.â  Â
You turn away from her again, to carry on with the walk and she hurries after to you to keep in step, not really content in letting this godforsaken conversation die out just yet. Â
âThatâs really the excuse he used?â She asks.  Â
âThatâs why it started, apparently. There was obviously ..something else, for him to want to carry on doing it.â You admit, fidgeting with your fingers uncomfortably as you start thinking. âMaybe I was ..missing something that he liked or ..not doing something he wanted me to. Iââ you let out a sigh, shaking your head, â..it really doesnât matter, okay? Please, thatâs enough. I honestly havenât been thinking about him, I donât want to start again now.â    Â
âIâm sorry.â She tells you, with a clear look of remorse, and you give her a light nod with a tight-lipped smile in an attempt to ease her guilt. Â
You carry on your walk for only a few paces before realising Em is no longer travelling with you, and you turn back to find her staring at her feet. âWhat are you doing?â You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers and thumb. Â
She taps her toes to the ground a few times, before lifting her head and approaching you with a real sense of purpose. âHere,â she says, handing you a small piece of paper, âin case you canât find hickey-man.â She tells you, and you do let yourself chuckle a little at Alexiaâs unfortunate new nickname as you unfurl the note.    Â
âYou got his number for me? I really donât need this.â You sigh. You hold the paper out to return to her, but she pushes it back to you.  Â
âI think you do.â She tells you earnestly. âI donât think itâs good for you to keep getting hung up on people. First Italian-man, now hickey-man. You were even working yourself up about one kiss with that Spanish woman.â She rolls her eyes at you, before giving you a sincere look of concern. âI know you fall hard, but you donât usually fall fast. It's weird, and itâs not like you.â She explains, placing her hands on your arms, trying to get you to listen to her better. âI think you should have a proper meaningless night with someone.â She suggests with a shrug âHeâs not ugly, and youâre not interested. Thatâs perfect one-night stand material! You're welcome!â    Â
âFine ..thanks.â You mutter, giving her a little nod in defeat as you stare at the number in your hand. Â
A meaningless night with a stranger really isnât what youâre after, but youâre not about to fight her on it now. Itâs not an ideal conversation to have just had, really. Your sister isnât exactly calculated enough to have done it deliberately, sheâs not trying to upset you because your footballing-happiness was winding her up too much. Â
Itâs frustrating from her, but sheâs genuinely concerned about you, and maybe she has a reason to be. Maybe you have been ignoring some things about yourself, refusing to confront a few little issues that are bubbling under the surface. Â
The ending of your relationship isnât super ancient history, and you were with him for an unfortunately excessive amount of time. Meaningless hookups were exactly what you were preparing yourself for before Alexia ended up being your first one and ruining the rest of your plans. Â
You do know that youâre not letting yourself get hung up over three separate people, though. Italian-man, hickey-man and Spanish-woman are all one person, and letting yourself get so hung up on Alexia as quickly as you are, is fine. Probably. Thatâs not really a cause for concern. Â
Right?Â
Of course, youâve still spent less than 24 hours with her, thereâs probably still lots of things you donât know about each other. You have shared some pretty intimate details about yourselves together already, though, and she doesnât feel like a rebound, as such. That would be grotesquely underselling the connection between you both. Â
She is a woman, which is still new to you, and you really donât usually fall so quickly for people. It took that bellend over six months to finally wear you down for a date. All Alexia needed to do was hold out a lime for you, to get herself wedged inside of your head. Â
Donât let yourself think about it too hard, youâll do yourself a mischief. Youâre just here to watch some football. Youâre here to watch the girl you like, play a bit of football. Â
Letâs not overthink, it isnât good for you. It will only lead to questions and concerns, and thatâs not what you need right now. Letâs have fun!Â
The atmosphere around the stadium is quite the riot, and itâs very effective in distracting you. Thereâs flares being let off, the sound of trumpets and drums, thereâs colourful smoke everywhere, the most enormous flags youâve ever seen in your life. Itâs like a little carnival, and itâs invigorating, letting yourself get swept up in the excitement of it all. Â
You receive a tremendous amount of friendly looks, solely because of the badge over your heart and the name proudly on display on your back and noticing that your sister isnât shown the same courtesy for wearing her Chelsea shirt, really only adds to your enjoyment of the occasion. Â
Em drags you through the large flock of fans, trying to make sure that you donât get separated from each other on your way into the stadium, and you keep offering up apologies on her behalf, as she carelessly mows people down for you. She is quite the woman on a mission.  Â
You opt to keep your head down, a little embarrassed by your sisterâs rudeness, but even as you make an effort to avoid making eye contact with all of the disgruntled supporters that she keeps barging through, there is one thing that you do struggle to avoid seeing, with some of the Barcelona fans.   Â
An overwhelmingly impressive amount of them, also have âALEXIAâ on their shirts. Â Â Â
This doesnât come as a complete shock to you. She is the best player on the team, after all. There is something about seeing her name plastered over quite so many strangersâ backs, however, that has sent your heart racing. Â Â Â
This turnout of people is undoubtedly nothing compared to the millions of followers that you found out she has on Instagram yesterday, but itâs a very different feeling, seeing her fame condensed into a little figure on social media, than it is, to actually seeing so many of them in person. Itâs much harder for you to ignore the countless amount of admirers that she has, when you keep physically bumping into all of them.  Â
âAre you good?â Em asks, as you find yourself frozen in the crowd, staring at the back of another personâs shirt.  Â
âHm? Yeah, sorry.â You mutter, giving your head a shake, before letting yourself get dragged along again. âSheâs very ..popular.â   Â
âPutellas?â She checks, and you can only nod back at her, still a little dumbfounded by it all. âWell, yeah. Obviously!â She snickers. âCome on!â  Â
Maybe itâs pride that youâre feeling. Knowing youâve been spending a bit of time with someone so well-liked. Thatâs very nice for you, thatâs entirely enjoyable and fun. It doesnât need to be anything other than that. What good would that do for you? Â
Perhaps there's a slight nervous tension in your stomach, at seeing her name absolutely everywhere. Thatâs probably understandable and fine. You knew she was famous, but thatâs still a little confounding to actually play witness to. No oneâs going to hold that against you, itâs okay to be a little overwhelmed by it all.  Â
Itâs a new reality for you. It makes sense that that would be accompanied with a new feeling too. Anxiety isnât something thatâs really presented itself to you when thinking of Alexia before now. Of course it isn't, why would it have been?  Â
Picturing little scenarios with her in your mind was fun, it was silly. It didnât really mean anything when you were never going to find her again. You didnât need to go putting doubts about yourself in imaginary-Alexiaâs head, that wouldnât keep things very fun and silly at all.  Â
There are a few doubts about yourself in your own head now, perhaps. Seeing as you have found her again, youâre falling for her, and sheâs clearly not the little nobody that you thought youâd entangled yourself with, but thatâs probably fine. Itâll be a temporary thing. Letâs not worry about it right this second. Letâs just enjoy the game instead! Â
It really isnât wise for you to start stewing on things. You really will start spiralling.  Â
How could you not?  Â
If you start letting yourself think too hard about all the things that you were lacking, and what you simply couldnât offer to keep a pathetic pig of a man satisfied, and you really start allowing yourself to question why you werenât good enough for him, that isnât going to put you in a very good mindset when seeing all these fans that Alexia has.  Â
Her supporters arenât limited to just little kids or grown men. Thereâs a lot of women here, also sporting her name. It isnât necessarily the case that all of these women are gay, thatâs not really how watching womenâs football works. She can have straight women being her fans too.  Â
Some of them are probably gay, though, arenât they? Lots of the ones that are gay, with her name on them, might have a little crush on her. Itâs very likely that absolutely none of them will have had to do research all day to make sure that they knew what was going on this evening. All of them will have already known everything. Theyâll be genuinely into football, genuine fans of Alexia.  Â
Gorgeous, confidently gay, and really into football. Those are the women that surround you right now. Thatâs fine. Whatâs wrong with that? Â
Why are you letting yourself worry? Why are you letting them get to you? Because they make more sense for her? Because theyâre better for her? Because youâre not a fan of football?  Â
Alexia already knows that, she didnât walk out on you because of it.Â
She did giggle a few times at your idiocy, though, didnât she? So, she probably did think you were a little foolish. She would presumably think it was a bit lame of you, to have spent quite so much time studying for a football match. Who else has ever had to do that? You really probably are the only one. That is a bit embarrassing. Quite pathetic of you.  Â
Damn.  Â
What a loser, you are.  Â
Shit.  Â
Maybe you should let it get to you. Maybe youâve let yourself get carried away. Maybe youâre having a psychotic break. Youâre letting yourself fall for a woman. A Spanish woman. A famous Spanish woman. A famous Spanish woman who plays football professionally, for crying out loud! Look at all of these beautiful lesbian fans that she has here. What the hell do you think youâre playing at?  Â
You? A little nobody from London, who couldnât even keep an ugly bastard of a man happy? If you werenât even able to manage to do that, how could you possibly hope to be good enough, for two-time Ballon dâOr recipient, current Champions League and World Cup winner, Barcelonaâs sweetheart, Alexia Putellas?  Â
That doesnât seem very likely at all, does it? You being the soulmate of this ethereal goddess of a woman? Behave yourself. You really are delusional.  Â
Maybe thatâs why she wanted you here, to laugh at you. Point and laugh at you with all of her football friends.  Â
Just go home now. Pretend that youâre ill. You do look a little ill. Youâve let yourself spiral, havenât you? I did warn you about doing that. Now look at the state of you. This is very tragic. Â
Â
âMate, what are you doing?â Em asks, as you once again find yourself paralysed, staring at yet another strangerâs shirt.   Â
âI just ..I donât feel well.â You mumble.   Â
âNoo. Please donât do that!â She begs, all too aware of what your next statement is going to be. âWeâre here now!â She reminds you, bouncing on her toes. âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have brought up that wanker, but please, we can still enjoy this together. Youâve been so excited about it all day.â She gives you a very sad pout, lightly pulling on your arm, trying to encourage you to keep following her.  Â
You really have been excited all day. It would be a shame to let your intrusive thoughts ruin it for you. You donât want to let that bastard keep dictating all of the fun youâre allowed to have. Youâre just here to enjoy some football. Â
Woo! Â
âSorry. I justââ You pause, giving your head another shake as you try to catch your breath. âSheâs just ..very popular.â You reiterate, gesturing to the strangerâs back with your thumb.  Â
âDid you think youâd be the only one here wearing her name?â She snorts. âI told you the woman who gave it to you was basic.â Â
Your mind is still racing a little as you follow your sister out towards the stands. The atmosphere is even more intense inside of the stadium, and you try to let yourself embrace it all again, but it is mildly dizzying this time around. Â
Em has nabbed you some pretty decent seats to be fair to her, though. One thing about your sister, she is absolutely going to treat herself and overspend on her interests without a care in the world. Itâs something you often advise against her doing, it's not the wisest thing for her to do with her money. You couldnât really be more grateful for it right now, though, when youâre practically sitting front row. Â
Both teams are still out warming up, and you let your eyes roam the Barcelona side for a moment. You finally notice Alexia amongst all of the chaos, and you immediately stop noticing anything else. Your mind goes completely blank, just at the mere sight of her. Â
She really does calm you right down, truly nothing else matters when sheâs around you. Thatâs really very lovely. Itâs a good thing you donât live in two separate countries from each other. Imagine the way your mind would implode if you couldnât just look at her all the time to stop your mental deterioration..Â
You watch Alexia, as she completes her runs, does some drills, begins to stretch. Itâs like sheâs the only one out there on the field, working in slow motion, putting on a show, just for you. Thereâs absolutely no reason for it to be as sexy as it is, sheâs literally just warming up, but you find yourself, jaw clenched, as you observe her movements.  Â
She pauses for a drink break, and you remain mesmerised as she squeezes a jet of water into her mouth and pours a little extra over her face. You bite down on your bottom lip as you follow the beads of liquid rolling down her neck, slowly travelling under her shirt, and your breath hitches, as you allow yourself to remember exactly what it is that sheâs concealing under her shirt. You can picture that body perfectly; youâve thought of little else aside from it for over a month. Â
Sheâs all hot, and sweaty, andâ please! Pull yourself together! Youâre in public, and youâre practically drooling. Do you remember when you were straight? Straight straight straight. Try channeling a bit more of that, perhaps. Youâll be an absolute puddle right there in your seat, otherwise. Â
âThereâs your one.â Your sister reminds you, making you jump as she nudges you and gestures down across to the pitch, once again pulling you away from your redacted thoughts.  Â
âOh yeah! Thanks.â You tell her, feigning surprise, as you hide the small smile on your face, and swallow down on your arousal. You subtly wipe at the corners of your mouth with the back of your finger, just in case a bit of drool really had started falling, and you nod to your sister in acknowledgment. âShe really is quite ..pretty.â You say pointedly, paying close attention to your sisterâs thoughts and feelings on the matter.  Â
It probably wouldnât be ideal if your sister showed an interest. She has a rather troubling talent with the ladies, and youâre not too sure youâd rate your chances going up against her, where another womanâs concerned. Â
It really isnât something youâve ever had to think about before. There was never any chance of you two being into the same person until Alexia flicked a switch inside of your head. It was only a joke when she mentioned it in the cafĂŠ, but you canât pretend it hasnât niggled in the back of your mind a little. Â
If you do end up introducing them, and they really hit it off? They almost certainly have more in common than you and Alexia do. They could talk for days about football together; they both have multiple tattoos where you only have a single measly little thing on your ribs. Theyâre both definitely gay, which is far more than you can say about yourself. Â
Thatâs three strikes right there, isnât it? Thatâs not very good. Â
Thatâs all you get. Â
Youâre already out of the race. Â
Youâll introduce them, theyâll fall in love, get married, have kids, and youâre left pining after your sisterâs wife for the rest of eternity. Even the sweet release of death wouldnât save you from a heartache that powerful. Thatâs an eternal pain. Itâs permanent, infinite. A truly deathless agony thatâll haunt you till the very end of time itself. Â
Good grief!Â
Whatâs going on with you? Youâre being very dramatic and sad suddenly. This really isnât like you. Youâve only met this woman twice. Snap out of it!Â
âSure, I guess.â Em shrugs, not at all taken in by Alexiaâs beauty. She really does have very questionable taste in women. You really should have known that already, that isnât new information to you. You desperately need to calm down, youâre getting yourself into a really bad place. Â
âWhich oneâs that?â She asks you, testing your knowledge as she points to another player on the field.  Â
âOna Batlle.â You tell her confidently, shaking your worries from your head as you try to focus on what really matters right now. âDefender. Used to play for United.â Â
âVery good,â she commends, genuinely quite impressed with the results of your last-minute cramming, âand that?â Â
âMarĂa LeĂłn. Mapi. Also, a defender. Didnât go to the World Cup.â Â
âMhmm! And that?â Â
âNot a bloody clue!â Â
âFor fuckâs sake.â She grumbles.  Â
âWhat? Sheâs one of yours,â you point out, grinning, âI donât give a shit about the Chelsea players!â Â
âYou really are a twat.â She tells you, smacking your shoulder, before she crosses her arms and leans back into her seat. âDo you remember how the game works?â She asks you, rather condescendingly. âDo you need me to go through it all again for you?â Â
âNo, thank you.â You reassure her, innocently. âI think Iâve got it all memorised ..itâs just the best of three sets in the womenâs game, right?â Â
âTwat.â Em calls you again, and you chuckle to yourself, relaxing back down into your own seat, entirely satisfied with just how incredibly easy she is to wind up. Â
You return your attention back to Alexiaâs warmup routine, making sure to not keep letting your mind run wild with more dirty thoughts. It has been over a month for you, but even your sisterâs showing a bit more decorum with her ogling of Sam Kerr. You really can control yourself better than this, you are not an animal. Â
Alexia pauses her drills to have another sexy little drink, and you notice her surveying the crowd as she downs her water. She does a very careful examination of the away section, and she stops to stare, as soon as she finds you. Â
Youâre once again the only two people in the whole vicinity, as her eyes meet yours, and a bashful smile takes over her face. Â
Whatever concerns you might be battling with, you can definitely be certain, that this woman wants you here today, and she isnât at all discreet about how happy she is to see that youâve come, and that youâre wearing her shirt. Â
She mouths a little âhiâ to you, and itâs impossible for you not to smile at her, when your heartâs jumping up inside of your chest. You mouth back a âhiâ followed by a âwowâ, with a slight wince, as you dramatically flit your eyes around your surroundings, and she bites at her lip, with a clear sense of awkwardness. Â
âIâm sorry.â She tells you silently, but you shake your head at her with a furrowed brow. Â
âDonât be daft, good luck!â you offer with a smile, and a subtle thumbs up. You tap proudly at the badge on your chest, and Alexiaâs smile only grows as she watches you. Â
She responds with a nod, a âgraciasâ and her own thumbs up, which clearly wasnât as subtle as yours, as it didnât go unnoticed by your sister. Â
âWas that directed at you?â She asks, squinting at Alexia as she moves with the other players down towards the tunnel.  Â
âHm? Looked like that, didnât it?âÂ
âThatâs quite cool.â She acknowledges. âSheâll probably think you got lost on the way in, sitting here with us. You donât exactly blend in!â Â
âNo, thatâs true.â You chuckle, tapping your hands down the red stripes on your torso. âMaybe she just felt bad for me, stuck here with you losers.â Â
âMm.â She grumbles, pulling a face at you. âThatâs Sam Kerr!â She informs you excitedly, quickly moving on from your interaction, and focusing back on who she deems to be, the more important star of this eveningâs show.  Â
âI know who Sam Kerr is,â you sigh, âIâm not an idiot. Iâve seen her poster on your wall.â Â
âMmmmmm.â She hums, gazing very dreamily at the striker as she makes her own way off of the pitch.  Â
âOh, please.â You start, rolling your eyes at the state that sheâs getting herself into. âHave some self-control, Em, weâre in public!â Â
You really are a shameless little hypocrite.
 Â
Goosebumps spread all over your skin as the teams return to the pitch, and the Champions League anthem rings out around the stadium. You can feel the excitement really getting to you, as the hairs on your arms stand up on end. Â
Itâs very overwhelming. You couldnât have cared less about this match yesterday morning, and now itâs the most important thing in the world to you. Â
All for a girl, what has gotten into you? Â
The game is highly contested right from the first whistle. With the first leg ending in a 0-0 draw, neither team is able to rely on aggregate to get themselves through, and you can feel the pressure that the players are under. Â
Both sides are naturally desperate to win, though expectation is slightly higher for Barcelona, seeing as they won the whole thing last season.  Â
Thereâs a very mild sense of nervousness in you about the result. Youâre not really sure how youâd go about consoling someone after a huge sporting defeat. Youâve never been very good at comforting Em when a football score has left her upset, and itâs probably far worse when youâre actually on the team thatâs lost, and not just watching it through the television. Â
You know exactly how Alexia would be able to cheer you up, and youâd be more than willing to try the same technique with her. She might not be as horned up as you clearly are, though. You may very well need to start drafting a proper commiserative speech for her, if the game does start running away from them. Sexual favours may simply not be enough. Â
You do take some comfort in the fact that Barcelona havenât lost to Chelsea before, and while you appreciate that nothingâs guaranteed in sports, Alexiaâs very good, and you know for a fact that the rest of her teammates really arenât too shabby either. Thereâs a reason that theyâve won this whole thing twice, and youâre letting the knowledge of that keep you from getting too worked up about it. Â
Alexiaâs the best in the world, and no best in the world is losing to bloody Chelsea, not today. Â
Alexiaâs incredible for you to watch when she plays, even when she only has possession for a second. Sheâs just a wizard on the ball, the way she reads the game so easily, how she seems to predict everyoneâs movements. Sheâs always in control, unwaveringly calm, deliberate in her choices. Â
She almost dances with the ball, and itâs impossible to deny how unbelievably gifted she is, as she weaves around her opponents. She has a very distinctive flair, for making it all look so effortless. Itâs just incredibly sexy of her, and you find yourself wiping at the corners of your mouth again as you watch on, just in case.  Â
Itâs not a skill that youâve ever really appreciated in a person before. Youâve had boyfriends that played football in school, you watched your sister plenty of times when she was little, but you never really focused on them while they were actually playing. Â
Youâd cheer at the right moments, making the correct noises when you needed to, just following the rest of the crowdâs lead, mainly. You found it all a bit boring, really, it didnât mean anything to you.  Â
Now, Alexiaâs only casually passing the ball between herself and a few of her teammates, and youâre absolutely entranced by her, you couldnât think of anything else youâd rather be watching. Thereâs a glow to her as she plays. Sheâs enthralling, captivating. You might be her number one fan. Â
The match aside from Alexiaâs performance, is far more tense than youâd care to admit. Both teams have plenty of attempts on goal, neither of them score. Every missed shot from Barcelona has you cursing under your breath, and every near goal from Chelsea has you covering your eyes like a child. Itâs a little unbearable, you absolutely love it. Itâs what sportâs all about.  Â
Itâs a very unexpected reaction from you. The way your heartâs started palpitating, the slight tightness in your shoulders whenever a Chelsea playerâs on the ball, the elation shooting through you every time Barcelona regains possession. Itâs the skin around the nail of your thumb that suffers the most under your passion, as you nibble at it relentlessly, watching everything unfold with a high degree of intensity.  Â
You keep knocking your sister every time Alexia gets close to scoring, gripping at Emâs sleeve and tugging at her in anticipation. Itâs hard to tell if itâs an excitable twitch, or if itâs stress-tapping of your foot, but every nerve in your body is on fire as you watch Alexia in her element. Em still canât really understand your newly established avidity for the game, but she continually embraces it all with a light chuckle as she keeps telling you to âplease, calm down.â  Â
The whistle blows for halftime and itâs still level at 0-0. You can barely contain yourself, letting out a huge breath that you werenât fully aware youâd been holding in.  Â
âI canât survive another half like that!â You warn Em, bashing your head against her shoulder. âI need a goal. Just one goal!â Your legs are bobbing up and down, as the adrenaline in you tries to find a way of escaping your body, and she rests her hand over them to calm you down. Â
âDo you need a wee?â She asks, a little concerned at the mess youâre turning into, and you shake your head with a laugh.  Â
âNo, Iâm good, thanks! I just ..really want them to win.â Â
âYouâre really into it, arenât you?â She chuckles. Â
âMhmm. Thank you for bringing me here.â Â
âYouâre welcome! Iâm glad you decided to stay.â She tells you, with a proud smile on her face at finally winning you over on her favourite interest. âItâs a shame youâre rooting for the dark side, though. Itâs weird that this is the team that speaks to you.â Â
âMm. Iâm sorry about that.â You offer half-heartedly, pulling at the badge on your shirt to give it a kiss. Â
âYouâre such a traitor,â she tells you with a flick to your forehead, âDad will be disgusted when I tell him.âÂ
Â
The second half starts, and itâs much the same as the first. Thereâs more near misses, a few choice attempts on goal, and the game starts getting far sloppier as both sides get more desperate to score. There are some pretty ugly fouls, resulting in a few yellow cards being issued to both teams, and youâre suddenly far less concerned with winning, and far more worried about Alexia just making it out in one piece. Â
âItâs quite brutal!â You point out to your sister, flinching as another Chelsea player goes tumbling to the ground. Â
âMm. You think sheâd be more careful.â She tells you. She taps at the number on your shirt, and it sends an instant chill racing up the back of your neck. Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â You question, biting down hard on your thumb as you await her response. Â
âShe tore her ACL a couple years back, took her out of the Euros. She hardly played at all last season.âÂ
âTore her ACL?â You ask, exhaling slowly as you make the connection in your head. âWould that be her knee?âÂ
âMhmm.âÂ
âShit.â Drops out of your mouth, as you bite your thumb a little too deeply, and you try to shake the stinging from your hand. Â
It makes sense, that Em would choose to withhold this little titbit of information from you, you really are quite squeamish. If youâd known this game could turn into such a bloodbath, youâd have probably elected to stay home.Â
Alexia had played it coy, when you traced your fingers over her scars that night. She wasnât exactly uncomfortable with you asking her about them, but it still wasnât something she was going to get into with you. You werenât going to force the issue too hard, youâre not an idiot, but it had certainly piqued your interest. She really wasnât forthcoming with any information about herself, and it quickly became apparent how talented she was at deflecting from your queries. Â
It stopped being at the forefront of your mind completely, when she was otherwise so distracting with it. Her scars didnât inhibit her at all when she was pressing her knee against you. It felt good, she seemed fine, who were you to question?Â
âShould she be playing at all?â You ask flicking your thumb against your finger to try and weaken the pain shooting through it. Â
âSure! Lots of them do, you just think itâd freak âem out a bit more.â She tells you. âItâs amazing she still throws herself into it as much as she does, really.âÂ
âYou donât become the best by tapping out.â You recognise, and she excitedly nods her head at you. Â
âNo, exactly! Sometimes it happens again, though. Can be the exact same rupture, different tear, same leg. A few players have it happen to their other leg..â Em continues to give you a very unhelpful rundown of just how common this career-jeopardising injury seems to be, and an uncomfortable lump forms in your throat as she goes a little too deep into all of the details with it. âAre you okay?â She asks, cutting herself off at your obvious discomfort at her lecture, and she gently taps at your shoulder. âYouâve gone quite pale.âÂ
âI donât like seeing people get hurt, you know that.âÂ
âSheâll be alright.â She reassures you, gesturing to the Chelsea player as she pulls herself back to her feet. âItâs just when a player gets stretchered off, really. Thatâs when you properly worry about them.âÂ
You suddenly find yourself, very stressed.Â
It immediately feels like Alexia, in particular, has a target on her back as the game continues. Every time she gets on the ball, a Chelsea player comes flying in, rather aggressively, trying to win it back off of her. Itâs a very violent onslaught, and itâs not one that youâre keen on watching.  Â
She spends most of the second half having to drag herself back to her feet, and you no longer feel like you can just blame it on the slightly wet grass, when thereâs a menacing little Chelsea player hovering ominously over her every time she goes down to the ground. Â
The game is still level as the clock starts running down the final few minutes, but any sense of relief that this torture is almost over, is immediately extinguished, as you remember that this specific game would have to go to extra time, and then penalties, if no oneâs able to break the deadlock.  Â
Penalty shootouts, on their own, are usually just about the only thing you can tolerate in football, when youâre a neutral with zero stakes. It sounds like a nightmare now, however. Especially as it means youâd have to endure 30 extra minutes of the Chelsea playersâ assault on Alexia.  Â
You really canât take it. Your heartâs started thumping. You have a headache forming. Your fingers have turned to ice. Â
Youâre out of your seat as Alexia makes a beeline for the goal in the 87th minute. Itâs an incredible scoring opportunity, she canât miss.  Â
A Chelsea defender appears to the side of her, as if from nowhere as Alexia lines up her shot, and sheâs brutally slid into, just outside of the area.  Â
You can hear the collision as it happens, it almost reverberates throughout the whole stadium. Life in the arena comes to a complete standstill, as everyone just watches it all unfold.  Â
Alexia goes down, and the world stops spinning, your heart stops beating, and time stands still.  Â
She stays down, and your body goes rigid, your blood runs cold, and you want to be sick. Â
Get up. Please get up. Â
Your sister grips on to your arm trying to comfort you, trying to tell you that it probably isnât as bad as it looked, but your eyes donât move from where Alexia lies on the floor, clutching her knee.  Â
Medics are rushed onto the pitch with a stretcher in hand, and you remain frozen in place.  Â
Please get up. Just get up. Â
The defender is back on her feet only a minute after the tackle, and sheâs shown a yellow card for her foul. You want to throttle the referee right there and then. Â
âIt should be a straight fucking red!â You shout, as you grip your hands together on the top of your head, trying to distract yourself from the burning in your eyes, and the new quiet ringing thatâs started in your ears.  Â
You receive a couple of snide looks from the supporters surrounding you for your little outburst, and you can hear a few less-than-friendly words being bellowed out at you, but frankly, you donât give a fuck. Â
Just get up. Get up and walk off if you have to. Just get. up. Â
You want to jump over the seats. Push every annoying, arsehole supporter in a Chelsea shirt right out of your way and invade the pitch to be with her. Your bodyâs screaming out at you to do something, anything, and you canât. Youâre useless to her.  Â
Just get up. Â
Alexia looks to be in agony on the ground. A few of the Barcelona players are swarming the referee for her blatant incompetence. Even the other Chelsea players are a little amazed that theyâve gotten away with it, without going a player down.  Â
It was a dirty foul. Out of character, according to your sister. You donât care. It couldâve been a complete accident by her, and youâre not fussed. It was reckless, it was filthy, and she should be off that goddamn pitch with some level of suspension at least. Â
Get up. Please. Â
Em tries to pull you back into your seat and you still donât budge. You stand where you are, watching the small crowd on the pitch, as it slowly blocks Alexia from your view. You bite at the skin on your thumb, willing yourself to stay calm, willing Alexia to just get the fuck up.  Â
It feels like a lifetime waiting for things to happen, for any sign of development from the scene on the ground. You ultimately collapse back down into your chair, trying to catch your breath, trying to stop the world from swirling around you, trying to stop your brain from assuming the worst. You close your eyes, holding your face in your hands, blocking it all out. Â
Get. Up.  Â
This isnât really what you signed up for, is it? You wanted to watch the girl you like, play a little game of football. Possibly celebrate her winning, with some adult-fun-time. Not find out that sheâs fairly recently had such a serious injury, and then watch her go crashing down to the ground, holding that specific body part. You canât do anything about it. You canât help. Youâre stuck in place, watching it all happen right in front of you. Â
This is torture. Maybe this is why you never let yourself get into football. Who is this fun for exactly? Whatâs the point in it all? Â
What an unbelievably useless waste of your time. You were already in a bad enough place before the game kicked off and distracted you from it. Now itâs made it worse. This is terrible. You really should have just stayed home. Imagine coming all the way out to Spain and making yourself bloody ill with it. Jesus Christ. Â
Please. Get up. Â
After what feels like hours, the medics do start slowly dissipating and thereâs a cautious ripple of applause around the stadium, because Alexia has gotten up, but not of her own accord. Sheâs being flanked by Mapi and Asisat, and she looks very unstable. Â
They carefully remove themselves from under her arms, and sheâs not very well balanced at all. Sheâs reluctant to put too much weight on her leg, sheâs limping, and sheâs still gripping onto Mapi for dear life, but she's not being stretchered off. Sheâs up, and you can breathe again.  Â
You watch on as she tests her strength, steadily gaining confidence that her knee isnât going to give way beneath her, and she puts her hand up to Jonatan to indicate that she will not be getting subbed off. She gives her body a shake, looks over in your direction, and she nods to herself with a reinvigorated sense of determination.  Â
You donât know if youâre completely turned on by her bold display of bravery, or if you want to give her a slap for being quite so carelessly audacious. She doesnât need to play the hero; youâd rather she just sat it out. Â
âWhat is she doing?â You mutter under your breath, shaking your head as Alexia waits to be let back into the game. Â
âYou donât become the best by tapping out!â Em reminds you, with a smile, patting your shoulder reassuringly. Her entire demeanour is in stark contrast to the one that youâre currently displaying, and as comforting as sheâs trying to be by rubbing at your arm, it isnât very effective. âAre you sure youâre okay?â She asks. âYou look really unwell.â Â
âMhmm.â Is all youâre able to mumble out, as your eyes lock onto Alexia on the sidelines. Â
The free kick awarded for the foul is saved, and Alexiaâs back on the pitch for the corner. You want to stop her. You want to swear at her. You canât handle it. You need a drink.  Â
You grab at the neckline of your shirt and pull it up over the bottom half of your face. Youâre very very stressed. Even the familiar smell of her on your top isnât doing much to comfort you. Sheâs an idiot. Sheâs so unbelievably stupid. What the fuck? Â
You watch the corner kick, as the ball goes sailing over the heads of everyone, before it connects with Alexiaâs forehead and skims past the tips of the keeperâs fingers.  Â
The stadium erupts around you, and youâre back up off of your seat, letting out your own roar in celebration. Your eyes are absolutely stinging with tears, as you hold your forehead against your hands, and thereâs more than a few snide looks at you from the supporters youâre buried in, given your lack of propriety about the situation. Â
Youâre getting called every colourful derogatory term under the sun for your rather ungodly little cheer, and still, you couldnât care less. You let out a few huge breaths, trying to steady yourself, and despite her team now trailing in the final minutes, Em wraps her arms around you, giving you a shake, as she tries to get you to properly enjoy the moment. Â
Alexia points up to the sky in celebration, and you can hear her name being gradually chanted around the stands. It catches in your ear, echoing in a crescendoing drone. Itâs deafening, unrelenting, and you try to shake it back out of your head before it really starts getting too much for you. Â
You know that thereâs going to be a fair few minutes of added time with how many fouls the second half has had and given how long Alexia was just down for especially, but you can see how the lifeâs just been completely zapped from the Chelsea side. Theyâre not equalising today; the game is done.  Â
The whistle blows for full time at 1-0 and you finally slump back down into your seat. The stadium is going absolutely wild around you, and you just close your eyes to it, waiting for it all to die down. Â
You can hear your sister trying to pull you out of your head, but you press your palms against your eyelids, trying to block everything out. Your bodyâs racking itself. Thereâs a sharp shortness to your breath, an uneven rapidity to your heartbeat. Your headâs burning up, and your eyes are stinging. Â
Youâre not really cut out for this, are you? Itâs all gotten a bit much. You really are spiralling, look at the state of you. All this, because of one unfortunate, mistimed tackle? Because thereâs a few extra people here that know Alexiaâs name?  Â
Barcelona just won, Alexia just scored the winning goal, and youâre collapsing in on yourself.Â
What would you have been like if they had just lost? If Alexia had been genuinely hurt? Not much good, clearly. Not very helpful. Â
Alexia deserves someone better. Someone who doesnât go into a panic in the stands whenever she hits the deck. Someone who isnât unnerved by her celebrity status. Maybe someone, who isnât questioning her identity, at the ripe old age, of 26. Â
She deserves someone, who very much, isnât you.Â
It takes a few minutes for you to come back around, pulling yourself from your oppressive thoughts, and you can see colourful stars in your eyes as you finally relieve the pressure you were forcing against them. Em offers you some water, and you down it while she stares at you, her brow wrinkled with worry.  Â
âAre you okay?â Â
âMhmm. Iâm fine, sorry.â Â
âYou won!â She points out, with a cautious optimism, smiling at you as she chuckles softly. âYouâre supposed to be celebrating, not ..whatever the hell this is.â Â
âIâm really sorry, I just ..I donât like people getting hurt.â Â
âYou wouldnât have had to go to a hospital with her, itâs alright.â Â
âMm.â Â
She gives you a hug, which lasts a suspiciously long time for her, and you can feel her jaw moving against your shoulder as she lifts her head slightly. Â
âAre you okay?â You ask, frowning as you push her away from you.  Â
âMhmm.â She mumbles, not moving her eyes away from whatever it is that sheâs seen behind you. âAre you definitely fine?â She checks again, with a mild desperation to her voice. Â
â..Yes?â You reassure her, turning around in your seat to try and follow her gaze. Â
âIâll see you in the morning, then!â She tells you hastily, and she nudges your arm, before tossing your sweatshirt from her bag at you, and straightening herself up. Â
âWait, what?â You question, rather baffled by her quick switch in focus. âWhere are you going tonight?â Â
Em just directs your vision up a few rows of seats, to a red-headed woman who has very clearly taken her fancy. Theyâve been making googly-eyes at each other all match apparently. Since you wound your sister up earlier, with your unwavering new support for the enemy, and Chelsea have just crashed out of the Champions League again, sheâs going home with her tonight, to drown her sorrows.  Â
She really does have an incredible success rate with the ladies, at least you wonât have to make breakfast for this one in the morning. Â
Â
âYouâre off, just like that?â You ask.  Â
âWe can hang out again tomorrow?â Â
âAw, I appreciate that, Em. Thanks!âÂ
She chuckles at you, bouncing on her toes. âRing taxi-man.â She advises you with a wink. âOr try to find your mysterious hickey-man, again! You deserve to have fun tonight. Celebrate the win properly! Get yourself another love bite!â Â
âMm.â You mutter, and she crouches down in front of you again. Â
âAre you sure youâre okay?â She asks. âI can stay with you, if you want?â Â
âHm? No, donât be daft. Itâs fine, really. Thanks. Go, have fun.â Â
She doesnât hang around long enough for you to change your mind. She gives you a far quicker hug than the previous one, patting you on the head, before running off and introducing herself to her new friend at the steps. They both cast you a quick wave, which you return a little awkwardly, before they walk up towards the exit. Just as easy as that. Â
âBe safe!â You call out to them behind you, as you turn your attention back to the celebrations on the pitch. Â
It takes a long while for the atmosphere in the stadium to really start fizzling out, and thereâs still a distinct little hum of excitement that rattles through it, as the crowd dwindles, and the players continue making their way around the grounds.  Â
Alexia grins up at you as she passes by your section, and you can only manage to give her a weak smile in return as you pat your leg at her with a questioning look. She smacks her knee a couple of times, smiling with a dramatic roll of her eyes, and she gives you a thumbs up to signal to you that she really is okay. She isnât limping anymore as she heads over towards the fans, so you could almost pretend it hadnât happened at all, if it hadnât been quite so mentally draining.  Â
A fair amount of supporters still line the barriers, holding out shirts and signs, and just about anything else that they can get a playerâs autograph scrawled onto. Most of them are shouting for Alexiaâs attention, and her popularity and fame is still quite an overwhelming thing for you to take in. Â
She doesnât miss any of them, they all get their moment with her. She makes sure everyone gets seen too, everything gets signed. She doesnât rush a single encounter, and you donât miss the way peopleâs faces keep lighting up whenever she approaches them. Â
Itâs very hard not to keep falling for her, watching her interact with people, the way that she is with them. Sheâs just good. Sheâs good at what she does, she's good with her fans, sheâs a good person.  Â
Youâre biting at your thumb again. Â
The knuckles on your other hand, turning white, with the vice-like grip that you have on her sweatshirt. Your legs are bobbing, and you can feel your fingers freezing up. Thereâs a lot of combatting emotions fighting for dominance in your head, and youâre very unsure of yourself. Â
The Chelsea fans were in far less of a partying mood, clearly, as you find yourself the only one left in the away section. You watch Alexia converse with the ever-diminishing crowd for a moment longer, before deciding, maybe itâs time for you to go, too. Â
This isnât your world; you donât belong in it. Itâs been a fun time with her, and thereâs definitely a something between you, thatâs been nice to explore, but thereâs clearly been some sort of mistake. A divine, serendipitous little mix-up. She canât be the one for you, as youâre really not the right one for her. Itâs okay for this to be it, itâs okay for you to go. Â
You walk down to the barrier and carefully rest her sweatshirt over it. You canât really also leave her football shirt behind with it, but sheâs probably not desperate for that back. Sheâll have loads of them lying about, thereâs probably another one waiting in her training bag, ready for her to give to someone else. Â
You pat at the sweatshirt a few times, debating with yourself, and you look back up across the pitch to where Alexia is still signing shirts. She almost certainly does deserve someone better than you but abandoning her is still quite a harsh thing for you to do, she definitely deserves better than that. Â
You canât just leave her and not give her a reason for it, thatâs very cruel. She was excited to see you, sheâll be upset if you walk out on her. Â
You crash your head down onto the sweatshirt trying to decide your next move, letting out a quiet groan as you draw a blank. Sheâs still preoccupied with her fans when you raise your head again, and you start pacing the length of the railing tapping the tips of your fingers together. Â
You look back down at the sweatshirt, across to Alexia, and up to the exit. Down at the sweatshirt, across to Alexia, and up to the exit. Â
Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit. Â
Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit.Â
Sweatshirt, Alexia, exit. Exit. Exit. Â
You find yourself stuck on the steps, only a second later, facing away from the pitch, without her sweatshirt in your hands. Youâre really not sure what your plan is.Â
You do still have that number in your pocket, you could always give him a call, he really was very good-looking, exactly your usual type. Tall, dark, handsome. Friendly. Very friendly. Itâs classic to you, itâs easy. Maybe your sisterâs right. You need to have a meaningless night with some random company that you just donât give a shit about. Â Â
You really just donât want to go out with him, though. Thereâs a woman on the other side of the pitch that your heartâs still lunging out in the direction of, who still puts butterflies in your stomach every time she so much as looks at you. Â
You donât want to leave. You like this woman too much. Thereâs something real between you. Something strong. Â
Maybe itâs too strong. Â
Itâs impossibly strong. Â
Itâs a delusional level of strong. Â
Youâre almost at the final step before the exit, when you hear a little whistle from behind you and it stops you in your tracks. Maybe it was that little bungee cord between you both, that alerted her to your leaving. Â
It sends another chill coursing up the back of your neck, and thereâs an instant blurring to your vision, as your eyes start welling up.Â
âY/N?â She calls up to you, with a small strain to her voice, and you flinch, your gaze dropping to the floor. Your jaw clenches, and you freeze in place, closing your eyes, in the hopes of just disappearing from right there in front of her. Â
You can still go, just keep walking. It would still be very hard for her to find you. She doesnât have your surname, or your address, she doesnât know your phone number.Â
You can get a clean break. Â
Leave it as a solo night of fun. The meaningless distraction from him, that it was always supposed to have been. Stop letting yourself fall for her. Stop letting yourself care and worry, about a woman that you barely know. Go home. Behave. Find yourself a man and get on with your regular life. Â
Thereâs another cautious whistle as you debate with yourself, and your heart aches, hearing it echo around you. You shift your body weight, awkwardly, from your toes to your heels, and back again, a fair few times. You drum your fingers against your thighs, over your stomach, and you look up at the sky, searching for an answer. Â
You need someone to give you a push, give you a sign that youâre not making another mistake. You want your sister to come back and slap some sense into you. You want your mother to tell you what to do, she always did have the right answers. Â
You gently tap your fingers to your face, trying to pull yourself back into your body, as you study the stars above you. Â
There seems to be a definite twinkle to one of them, and you really donât care if youâre just seeing things. Youâre looking for an excuse, any excuse, and a slight flicker in the sky, is exactly what you needed.Â
You straighten yourself up, before letting out a long breath with a small nod. You bounce on your toes, and you give your eyes a quick rub, before you ever so slowly, turn yourself back around.  Â
You might still be an idiot. A whole damn blasted fool. Â
But sheâs impossible for you to walk away from. Thatâs just not how itâs going to work with her. She already means too much, youâre already in too deep. Sheâs set up shop inside of your head, sheâs already living inside of your heart. You couldnât walk away from her, even if you wanted to.Â
She has your heart skipping beats, whenever she says your name. She has the rest of existence fading into nothingness around you, when all sheâs done is take your hand in hers. She sends goosebumps down your neck when she whispers to you, has you rolling your eyes with a chuckle, when sheâs being a playful windup. Your mind starts spinning when she kisses you, and you feel safe when youâre resting in her arms. Â
You had one of the best afternoons of your life yesterday, doing nothing, but spend a bit more time with her. Learning about her, laughing with her, kissing her. Sheâs put a burning inside of you, and a smile on your face. You spent the whole of last night, wide awake, because you couldnât wait to see her again. She told you that she couldnât wait to see you, either. Â
This isnât a solo night of fun, itâs not a meaningless distraction. It never really has been with her. It might very well be your person, thatâs waiting for you down there, and youâd only stand to lose everything, if you walk away from her now. Â
You draw in a breath and look down to the sidelines of the pitch. Itâs the greatest womenâs footballer in the world, thatâs leaning up against the stands for you, and sheâs hoping, that youâre not about to leave her, not without at least saying goodbye to her first. Â Â Â
She looks very small when you see her. All the grandeur, and spectacle that shrouded her during the game, has been completely wiped once again. Sheâs just Alexia, Ale, A. Sheâs just a woman that you met in a nightclub, just a girl that youâve been getting to know. Â
Thereâs a very obvious sense of worry in her, itâs not a look that often spreads across her face. She shuffles herself, tapping her hands gently on the sweatshirt over the barrier as she tilts her head down towards the ground, and you steadily make your way back down the steps towards her. Â
âFelicitats.â You offer weakly, and she smiles softly up at you. Â
âGrĂ cies.â Â
âIs your knee okay?âÂ
âYes.â  Â
âAre you sure?â Â
âYes. I promise.â  Â
âIt wasnât a very friendly challenge.â You tell her, frowning at the tunnel that the Chelsea player made her escape from you down. âYou gave me a fright, when you didnât bounce straight back up. Are you definitely okay?â Â
âYes, Iâm fine!â She insists. âLook!â She tells you, patting her knee a few more times, and kicking her leg out to show you that it hasnât fallen off. You canât not smile back at her when sheâs being so very cute, even if she is incredibly stupid. âI promise you, itâs fine.â She repeats, and you just have to believe her. Â
âYou didnât fancy telling me your big secret, yourself?â You call out, as you continue making your way towards the pitch, glancing around the stadium, before sliding your hands into your back pockets.  Â
âIt didnât feel ..that important,â is the excuse she gives to you, as she picks at the fabric in her hands, âthe night that we first met.â Â
âAnd yesterday?â You push, crinkling your brow up slightly. âStill not that important?â Â
Her gaze drops to the ground as you wait on the bottom step, and you nibble at the inside of your mouth. âAre you angry with me?â She asks nervously, quietly tapping her hands with a bit more agitation, and not yet meeting your eyes. Â
Thereâs a painful twinge in your heart as you watch her unfamiliar mannerisms, you much prefer when sheâs being insufferably cocky and annoying. Itâs far less painful, a lot more fun. Â
You let out a breath, before closing the rest of the distance between you both, and you gently rest your hands on top of hers, to stop her little nervous drum solo. She still doesnât lift her head to face you, and you take in a shaky breath, readying yourself. Â
âDo I seem angry?â You ask her quietly, trying to encourage her to look at you, as you delicately draw shapes on the backs of her hands, to distract you both a little from the obvious tension. Â
You donât miss the goosebumps that quickly form up Alexiaâs arms as you do, and thereâs a feeling that jolts inside of you, knowing that you both have the exact same effect on each other, even with the most casual of touches. Â
She lifts her eyes to study your face, and she shakes her head, as you smile softy back at her. Â
âWell, there you go then!â You tell her with a light chuckle, placing a kiss to her forehead before resting yourself against the railing between you both, and she lets out a wobbly breath. âOf course Iâm not angry with you ..I did feel a bit stupid last night, that I really didnât know.â You explain. â..I feel a bit intimidated, now that I do.â Â
âIâm still just me.â She reminds you quickly, and you can see the shimmer in her eyes, as she tries to keep herself from cracking.  Â
You canât help narrowing your eyes at her little claim as she collapses her head down into you, nestling it in the crook of your neck. âThey call you the bloody queen, Alexia.â You remind her, and she shakes her head against you. Â
âI hate that title.â She confesses. âI promise you, Iâm still just me.âÂ
Â
Itâs hard to deny her that. When all of the noise has died out, and itâs only the two of you left. She is just her, sheâs just another woman. A woman who is very clearly worrying about you and your reaction to her career. She knows that she stands to lose you because of it, and itâs very obvious, as her tears pool on your skin, that that isnât something she wants to happen.  Â
Despite it still being ridiculously early days between you both, this connection that you feel so strongly, may very well be reciprocated by her, and it would be a shame, for a bit of football, to stand in the way of it. Â
Itâs terrifying, knowing that she can get hurt. Realising that everything sheâs worked so hard her whole life for, rests on a knifeâs edge, every time she steps foot onto the pitch. It isnât easy, being made aware of how common of an injury it is, and how thereâs no way of protecting her from it. Â Â
If sheâs going to get injured again, thatâs just a harsh reality of football, and thatâs a very difficult pill for you to swallow. Itâs not a risk that you can stop her from taking, either. This is her dream, and youâd just have to support her through it. The good, and the bad. Â
Itâs also a little disconcerting, knowing how adored she is. The fact that sheâs quite a bit famous, especially in this city, if nothing else. As much as you donât want to let it seep into your mind, and affect your thoughts about Alexia too deeply, itâs impossible for it not to have altered things for you slightly. Â
Youâre only human, and you werenât really fully prepped, on what her celebrity actually entailed. She was just another regular person to you yesterday, but in reality, she is clearly very far from that, and itâs a little unfair that she wasnât the one to break the news to you. To give you some sort of heads up, before throwing you in at the deep end today. Â
But ..you really were having fun, before it all went south. You were excited, you were proud, you were enjoying a football match. She does things to you. She brings out a side of yourself that youâve never explored before, a side thatâs laid dormant, for your entire life. Sheâs incredible, in ways that largely transcend her achievements on the pitch. Â Â
Alexiaâs never made you doubt yourself. Sheâs never given you any reason to question her interest in you, thatâs one thing that sheâs never been secretive about. Â
She doesnât know what you do for a living, but she probably correctly assumes that youâre not famous, and that hasnât put her off at all. She doesnât think sheâs too good for you, she hasnât treated you like youâre beneath her. Â
Her fame doesnât follow her everywhere, you were able to be completely oblivious to it, before your sister told you about it. Itâs not debilitating, it doesnât stop you from having moments together. Itâs something you might have to get used to. Find a way of understanding it, learn how to cope with it. Especially on match days, when you really canât ignore the actual magnitude of it. That wouldnât be impossible for you to do.
 Â
Thereâs a connection between you both, it doesnât matter how celebrated she is. You havenât just shared a few careless kisses; it wasnât just one night of meaningless sex. Thereâs something real between you both, and it already existed before you knew who she was. This madness that surrounds her, was always the reality; you were just unaware of it. Â
There was a spark, regardless. Youâd have the same connection with her if she was filling shelves in a supermarket, why should this be any different? Â
She wasnât put off by your lack of interest in football. She really wanted you here today. She gave you her shirt to wear. She told you she hoped youâd enjoy the game. There were tens of thousands of people in attendance this evening, and she searched for you, specifically.  Â
She deliberately put you in a contrasting shirt, so that sheâd easily be able to find you, so that sheâd definitely know that you came, and that you were here, watching her. Thatâs all she wanted. She just wanted you to see her play, and for you to have fun while doing it. She wanted you here, cheering her on. The best player in the world, and she's been choosing you. A little nobody from London. Â
Youâre allowed to be excited about that. Youâre allowed to stop questioning her and second-guessing yourself. You donât need to pay attention to the noise around you, the excited obsession with her from strangers, those distracting little seeds of doubt that heâs put into your head about yourself. Â
Thereâs just her. Thereâs just Alexia, and she wanted you here. Â
âWell ..just you,â you start softly, placing a kiss to the side of her head, âis a bloody lot more impressive than most people ..you were incredible out there.â You whisper shakily, and you can feel as she smiles against you, burying her head further into your neck. Â
âYou enjoyed it?â She breathes, and you can see a small bit of the weight that sheâs bearing, lifting from her shoulders.  Â
âUntil that moment. Yeah, I really did!â You tell her, smiling in mild disbelief at yourself. âI was worried, that I might have to pretend for you, but I just ..really loved watching you play, seeing you score!â Â
âWere you quietly cheering?â She asks, pulling herself back from you, to excitedly take you in.  Â
âThere was nothing quiet about it!â You admit with a grin, as you wipe away the streaks of tears on Alexiaâs cheeks with the backs of your fingers. âYou scored the winner!â Â
The biggest smile spreads over her face at your bold act of tiny rebellion, and she pinches at the fabric of your shirt, gliding her fingers down the front of it, as she gives it a quick examination. âYou were lucky they didnât throw tomatoes at you, then!âÂ
âMhmm! I did get a few words thrown at me, mind! Thereâs some horrible people about.â You tell her, as she continues holding onto your shirt. Her eyes meet yours and itâs a pair of nervous smiles that you exchange with each other. âI know it wonât mean much, coming from me. Iâve not watched a lot of football, and I know you have some pretty big awards for it, but ..youâre really bloody good! Iâm so proud of you.â Â
âIt means everything.â She tells you ardently, pulling you into her over the railing. âIâm so glad you enjoyed it!â Â
You let yourself get lost in her embrace for a moment, while she clings to the back of your shirt, and you can hear as her breath hitches when you place a quick kiss to her neck. Â
âI really didnât enjoy watching you get taken down, mind.â You reiterate, quietly.  Â
âNo? I didnât love that either, really.â She admits, chuckling to herself. Â
âBut youâre definitely okay?â You check again, pulling away from her to look properly at her leg.  Â
âYes. I promise you. Itâs fine, Iâm fine. It just happens sometimes.â She shrugs. Â
âPlease donât tell me that!â You beg, quickly shaking your head at her. âYou canât be putting me through that every match!â Â
âMm? Youâll be watching more games?â She asks, with that famous little smirk coming back into view as you nod your head at her.  Â
âI mean, itâs a bitch of a commute to do this weekly, but Iâll definitely be watching you on the telly, when I canât make it.â Â
âWow.â She says, linking her arms together behind your neck. âYou really did enjoy it.â Â
âI know ..youâve broken me!â You chuckle, as she rests her forehead to yours, and her lips are once again, the only thing you can focus on. You watch as she wets them in front of you, and it almost feels like sheâs taunting you a little bit. âAre we allowed to kiss here?â You ask, trying to disguise your desperation, as you pull yourself away to scan the stadium. Â
Thereâs only a few random stragglers making their exits up the steps, and none of them seem to be paying any attention to the pair of you at all. So, it might not be beyond the realms of possibility. Â
Alexia takes your face in her hands and tilts your head. âYes.â She tells you, simply, and she pulls you into her, capturing your lips with hers. She doesnât do her own check of your surroundings at all; she really isnât too fussed if anyoneâs watching you both this time. Â
Itâs quite the romantic place to have a kiss, honestly. A huge colosseum, thatâs almost entirely empty, a blanket of stars in the sky up above you. Itâs not a kiss with any caution. Itâs not hasty or secretive. Itâs familiar, safe, and itâs able to finally be unreserved.  Â
Itâs a kiss that the pair of you have been craving. One that doesnât taste of tequila, that doesnât have to be hidden from view, and one that doesnât have the looming dread of immediate departure attached to it. Itâs a slow deep kiss, that feels like home, and youâre quite content to drown yourself in it. Â
âWhereâs Em?â Alexia asks, and she really has ruined the moment.  Â
She seems unaware, as her lips are still moving against yours, but you freeze, breaking the kiss at her twisted choice of topic. Â
âWoww?â You drag out, pulling back from her with a frown. âMentioning my sister is a real mood-killer I do hope you realise!â Â
âIâm sorry!â She giggles, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth.  Â
âYouâre supposed to have come over here for me, not her!â Â
âI did come over for you!â She tells you, rolling her eyes at your dramatics. âI just meant ..youâre here on your own.â Â
âMm. She left me.â Â
âWhy?â Â
âShe met a girl, while we were watching you play,â you explain, âtheyâve gone back to hers already.â Â
âOh?â She questions, her eyes sparkling as she arches an eyebrow at you. âTo play cards?â Â
âYeah,â you chuckle, âI think so.â Â
She links her arms back over your shoulders, leaning in very close. âSo ..youâre without company tonight?â She checks, her lips ghosting yours, and your heart starts racing again at the suggestive tone to her voice.  Â
âMhmm. Thatâs quite sad, isnât it? When Iâm on holiday?â Â
âThatâs very sad.â She agrees, tracing your jawline with her index finger. Â
Itâs hard not to have a physical reaction to the way that sheâs always touching you, and you swallow down as she angles your face to draw her mouth even closer to you, your breath catching in your throat as her lips brush against yours. Â
âAre you short on company tonight?â You whisper, rather shakily. Â
âMhmm.â Â
âOof. That might be even sadder.â You point out, and she nods in agreement with a small pout, before finally succumbing to another long kiss. Â
You breakaway, entirely short on breath, and she smiles as the obvious effect sheâs just had on you as you try to come to your senses. âDo you ..not want to celebrate with your teammates?â Â
âNot really.â She tells you, her pupils dilating as her eyes roam over your body. Â
âWould you ..maybe, want to do something with me, then?âÂ
âAre you asking me on a date?â She asks, her cocky little smile curving her lips, and you chuckle despite yourself.  Â
âI really think I might be. You admit. âI donât know what youâve done to me!â You tell her, shaking your head with a smile. âIâd never looked at another woman before, never cared about a football result. Never asked someone out on a date.â Â
âMm? And now look at you.â She says, cradling your face as she searches your eyes. âDoes it scare you?â She asks, stroking her thumb over your cheek, and you pause for a beat in consideration. Â
âA little,â you confess, âbut never when Iâm with you.â Â
Your candour earns you another kiss. Whether sheâs fully aware of the power her lips have on calming your nerves, or she just fancied kissing you, you donât really know, and you donât really care. You welcome it the same way youâve welcomed every other kiss from her, and the same way youâll continue to welcome any future kisses from her, should you be so lucky. Â
âWere you going to leave me?â Alexia asks after a moment, tapping at the sweatshirt again with a horrible look of uncertainty in her eyes. Â
âI really donât know.â You tell her honestly, and worry creases her brow, as you let out a breath. âI donât think Iâd have got very far,â you admit, âbut itâs just ..been a lot to take in.â Â
Thereâs a familiar look of understanding from her. Itâs the exact same look she had given you when youâd stayed still in the hotel elevator, as she had made her exit. Itâs a smile that doesnât reach her eyes, that barely curves her lips. Itâs a look of acceptance, resignation, and itâs a heartbreaking sight to see.  Â
âI donât want to leave you.â You clarify. âI donât really know ..what this is, between us, but I know how I feel about you, and I donât want to run from it. I just know ..that you can probably do better.â Â
You bop your own hand gently on the barrier in a fist, and she narrows her eyes at you. âWhat do you mean by that?â She asks, and you nibble at the inside of your mouth.  Â
âI freaked out ..when you went down. It got to me outside, seeing your name everywhere. I couldnât ..really tell you what my sexuality is, at this point.â You take a breath, still knocking your fist awkwardly on the railing. âThereâll be so many other women, more sure of themselves, more ..prepared, and ready to embrace everything.â You explain, closing your eyes to stop them from stinging. âThey wonât need to study your team before you play, they wonât go into a panic every time another player gets a little too close to you. Theyâll be just as desperate to be with you, and theyâll be bettââ Â
Youâre cut off from your little ramble, with what youâre assuming was a kiss. Â
Your eyes are closed, and it was unbelievably quick. Youâd be forgiven for thinking youâd imagined it completely; it was really quite so fleeting. If the fireworks that Alexiaâs set off on your lips werenât quite so familiar to you, you might have thought it was a bee that had stung you. Sheâs really gone and left you all lightheaded with little more than a peck. Â
âYou kissed me!â You tell her breathlessly, as though she wasnât the one to do it to you. Â
âMhmm. Imagine that.â She says, as she lets her eyes roam over your face with a small smile. âYou studied the team?â Â
âI know, Iâm sorry.â You cringe. âI just didnât want to not know who you played with. I mean, I didnât even know who you were yesterday, what chance would I have had with anyââ Â
She kisses you again, the exact same way, leaving you with the exact same reaction. Â
âYou kissed me!â You repeat, and she chuckles at you, nodding her head. Â
âMhmm. Youâre on vacation,â she reminds you, âand you spent the day studying my team?â Â
âMm.â Â
âAnd you worried about me getting hurt?âÂ
âMm.âÂ
âAnd youâre so desperately into me, that Iâve got you questioning your sexuality?â She winks. Â
âI mean..â you chuckle softly, rolling your eyes, â..maybe.âÂ
âAnd you really think, that any of that ..would make me like you less?â She asks, narrowing her eyes with that familiar smirk. Â
âWell ..sort of.â You admit. âI mean ..the studying. Most people wouldnât need to do that.â Â
âYou didnât need to do that.â She points out. Â
âMm ..no, I really think I did.â You chuckle. âI didnât know anything about football this morning, you can ask Em.âÂ
âYou donât care about football.â She reminds you.Â
âMaybe not ..but I care a little bit about you. I just knew it was important to you, I didnât want to be completely clueless about it.âÂ
Alexia shakes her head at you lightly, before kissing you again. Itâs not so quick this time, so you donât need to be as embarrassed about her still leaving you lightheaded and short on breath. Â
âYou kissed me!â You repeat, a childish grin taking over your face, and she rests her forehead to your shoulder, chuckling at your excited little reaction. âSo, you do still like me the same?â You double-check and she lifts her gaze to meet your eyes. Â
She cradles your head in her hand, shaking her own lightly back at you as she rubs her thumb over your cheek. âI think I might like you even more.â She tells you. âI wasnât really sure that would be possible after yesterday.â Â
âReally?âÂ
âMhmm.â Â
âWell ..what else are you into? I can study anything.â Â
She giggles at your eagerness before kissing you again. âIâm very into you.â She says, and your eyes light up in front of her. Â
âThatâs so unbelievably lucky, I know almost everything about her already!â Â
âYeah? Then maybe weâre perfect for each other.â She tells you, with a distinct conviction in her voice that sends that special little thrill running right through your body as she pulls you in for another kiss.Â
Â
âSo ..is that a âyesâ?â You ask. âTo maybe going on a date with me? Itâs a bit late now, I know, but we still have tomorrow.â You suggest, beginning to stumble over your words. âI know itâs probably not the smoothest way youâve ever been asked out. Iâm new to this. Iâm not very good, but Iâll work on it. Iâll get better.âÂ
âI think youâre already better than you think you are.â She tells you softly, resting her forehead to yours. âIâd love to go on a date with you.âÂ
âEven though my headâs a mess and Iâm still figuring things out?âÂ
âMhmm.â She giggles, gently rolling her bottom lip under her teeth. âIâll help you figure things out. Weâll work it all out together.â She offers. Â
âThat could be a lot of work.âÂ
âI know, and I really think you might be worth it.â She tells you, giving you another gentle kiss. âIâm sorry all of this got to you. I should have told you about it yesterday, but ..I didnât want to scare you off.â She explains. âI know it can be a lot, I donât love every part of it..âÂ
âItâs okay, I donât think anything couldâve prepared me for it, really. I knew youâd have a lot of fans ..it was just seeing them all. Like this ..Alexia army.âÂ
âIâm so sorry.âÂ
âPlease donât be. You have nothing to apologise for.â You reassure her. âNot unless all those other buggers also got their shirts from you?âÂ
âNo,â she chuckles, running her fingers up the front of the fabric on your body, âyouâre the only one.âÂ
âI should probably feel quite special, then.â You wink. âPeople would kill to be wearing this.âÂ
âMhmm. You are special.â She tells you, her fingers trailing the neckline of your shirt. She pulls you back into her, her lips feathering yours. âYouâre in my top three for a reason.âÂ
The barrierâs proving to be a little bit of a pest to the pair of you, what with it being such a hindrance to all of your kissing. After receiving confirmation from Alexia, that no one would attack you for joining her on the grass, you throw her sweatshirt on over your head, and quickly negotiate the railing to be with her.Â
It might be your favourite place to be, just melting into her arms as she holds you against her. Even though sheâs still a little bit gross from running around for so long, you wouldnât really swap it for anything. Â
Your eyes flick around the stadium as you look over her shoulder. Thereâs a faded majesty to the arena when itâs empty like this. Youâre the only ones still out here and the beauty of the place isnât lost on you, as you get to share it with Alexia. It feels more special without thousands of other strangers crammed in here with you, itâs like a secret discovery youâve both stumbled upon. A vast abandoned colosseum, existing just for you two. Â
âDoes it not freak you out, playing in a place like this?â You ask her.Â
âNot really.â She tells you, rather casually, joining you in staring up at the stands. Â
âThereâs so many eyes watching you.âÂ
âMm. You sort of just block it all out.â She says. âYou can hear everything, all the chanting and singing, but you donât really pay too much attention to it. Not until you score, and then again at the end of the game. It isnât really scary at that point, though. Then itâs just thousands of other people celebrating with you.âÂ
âYouâre quite amazing,â you realise, gently nudging into her, âI think Iâd shit myself.âÂ
She giggles at your blunt confession, intertwining her hand with yours. âIâd probably freak out if I did that in front of everyone.â She admits, kissing your fingers. âThatâd be quite hard to live down.âÂ
âDo you not get nervous at all?âÂ
âNo.â She tells you, simply. âIâve worked hard for this. I trust myself; I trust the team. Us playing in stadiums like this, in front of crowds like that, itâs what we deserve. Itâs what weâve been doing it all for.â She drops her head momentarily, taking in a breath. âI wasnât too sure Iâd get the chance to play again at all, after..â she gestures loosely down to her leg and stands a little taller as her grip on your hand tightens, âI donât take it for granted, that Iâm able to be here. Itâs where Iâve always wanted to be. Iâm not going to waste time being scared of it.âÂ
Thereâs a different air of confidence to her on the pitch as you watch her. Itâs not the same playful cockiness that she so often uses with you. Itâs not arrogance, she isnât being smug. Sheâs just proud of herself, the journey that sheâs been on. Sheâs proud of where she is, sheâs proud of her teammates and she really has every bloody right to be. Â
âAre you okay?â She asks, her brow crinkling lightly as she looks to you. âYouâre staring.âÂ
âSorry. Youâre just ..very beautiful.â You shrug, and you can see a small flush of colour settle over her cheeks as she smiles before quickly averting her eyes. Â
âYou havenât told me what it is that you do for a living.â She reminds you, shirking the focus away from her as she walks backwards a little ahead of you, pulling you along with her. âWe had an agreement.â She reminds you. Â
âI think itâs far less exciting than your big reveal.â You warn her. âIâm just in finance ..banking.â Â
You offer it with a tone of apology to your voice, which she certainly picks up on as she smiles at you and takes your other hand in hers. âThatâs very impressive.â She assures you and a blush spreads across your own cheeks as she interlaces her fingers with yours. âYouâre quite clever?â Â
âIâm not too bad with numbers.â You chuckle. Â
âDo you enjoy it?â She asks, and you nod your head. Â
âThat must seem ridiculous to you.âÂ
âNot at all. Are you good at it?âÂ
âOof ..Iâm not awful.â You smile. âIâve actually been named âEmployee of the Yearâ on more than two separate occasions.âÂ
âHave you really?â She giggles. Â
âMhmm. Thatâs the same as those balloon awards of yours, right?âÂ
âMhmm. Yes. Yeah ..I think thatâs the exact same thing.âÂ
She really must like you if sheâs willing to lie like that. There is slight tone of sarcasm to her voice, and rightly so. Your sisterâs explained to you what a Ballon dâOr is, and Alexia being presented with it, for two years on the trot, is no mean feat. Sheâs been recognised for being the undisputed best at her profession, globally. Youâve received âEmployee of the Yearâ bonuses because your boss is a filthy pervert with a crush on you. These are not the same things at all. Â
Itâs very sweet of her to downplay her achievements for you and thereâs something about her lack of arrogance with her career thatâs very intriguing. She almost minimises her own importance, ignores the significance, and the impact that sheâs had on the sport. Itâs really just a regular job to her. Sheâs âjustâ a footballer. Â
She takes genuine pride in it, but sheâs not gloating at all, sheâs not bragging. Without her fans around her, you really wouldnât know how big of a sensation she actually is. The fame and accolades really arenât what sheâs done any of this for. She just loves playing the game. Â
âYouâre staring again.â She points out, kissing your forehead. Â
âYouâre ..still very beautiful.â You tell her, offering up another shrug in lieu of any better explanation for your continual admiration of her. Â
She places a kiss to the back of your hand, and her eyes twinkle over it as she meets your gaze. âWe should get out of here.â She tells you. âI need to have a shower, but then we can go.âÂ
âDo you want me to wait here?â You offer, and she frowns at you in confusion. âSo that you donât have to introduce me to anyone.â You explain, and she giggles, shaking her head. Â
âA few of them would probably recognise you.â She says, and a hot flush of embarrassment spreads right through your body. Â Â
âShit! For being drunk and angry?âÂ
âMhmm! And straight.â She reminds you with a wink. âI think they quite like you, donât worry. Mapiâs definitely a fan already.âÂ
A small groan falls from your mouth as you remember your rather unfortunate behaviour from that night, and itâs hard not cringe at yourself. Itâs amazing you made such a good impression on Alexia, all things considered, but itâs a bit embarrassing to realise there was more than one world-class footballer watching your drunken antics. Â
âIâll have to stay out here.â You grimace. âThatâs horrific!âÂ
âTheyâre probably already gone!â She giggles. âWeâve been out here for a while.â She places another kiss to your forehead, before walking backwards towards the tunnel holding her hand out for you to join her. âAre you coming?âÂ
You nod your head at her but make no real effort to move from where you are. âI never thanked you.â You call out to her, and she stills herself, tilting her head. Â
âFor what?â She chuckles, narrowing her eyes. Â
âFor saving me that night. From that old man ..I really donât know where Iâd be now if you hadnât.âÂ
A grin splits her face, and she doesnât miss a beat. âTherapy, probably!â She says, and her laugh echoes in the air around you. Â
You quickly pull her sweatshirt back up to hide your face under it, shaking your head in shame, because sheâs almost certainly right. It would have taken you a very long time to recover from waking up next to him the following morning. You definitely wouldnât have been going for seconds, thirds and fourths with him all night. Heâd have had a heart attack trying to compete with Alexiaâs stamina. Â
âHe was so gross.â She reminds you, pulling the sweatshirt down as she returns to you. âYou were very drunk.âÂ
She pushes the loose hairs back from over your face, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips as she cups your face. Â
âI donât remember you helping me with that.â You point out. âI had more drinks with you than anyone else.âÂ
âMm ..I quite liked being inappropriate with you. You were very daring,â she recollects, kissing you again, with her cocky little smile, âyouâd already licked most of me before we even left the club!âÂ
âYou started it!â You remind her, and she giggles in front of you. Â
âWell, if that was a competition we were having, I think you certainly won!â She admits. âIâm sure abuelo would have enjoyed drinking with you just as much.âÂ
âOof. Please donât.â You mutter, suppressing a gag. âI think Iâd have slapped him if heâd tried licking me.âÂ
Alexia laughs again, lifting your hand to her lips, to place a kiss to the back of it, and she winks at you, before she licks all down it with her tongue. Â Â
âYouâre such a child!â You giggle, wiping your hand against your shirt, and she winks at you again. âYou couldâve been here with that girl from the toilets.â You point out. âAt least she was very pretty.âÂ
âI know.â She sighs wistfully. âItâs a shame someone stole me from her.âÂ
âMmm ..okay.â You mutter, rolling your eyes. Â
She shakes her head with a small smirk, taking your hand and pulling you into her before wrapping her arms around your waist. âIâm glad Iâm here with you.â She tells you, lightly bumping her nose to yours. âBit scary of you, though. Following me all the way out here!âÂ
âI didnât follow you!â You tell her, removing yourself from her hold. âI barely even remembered you existed before you draped your arm over me in that cafĂŠ.âÂ
âYouâre a terrible liar.â She scoffs. âYou even followed us into that toilet.âÂ
âNo, I didnât!â You chuckle, crossing your arms in front of you as you smile up at her. âYou followed me, though. Couldnât keep you away!âÂ
âMm ..maybe I really shouldâve stayed with her instead.âÂ
âOkaay, thatâs enough of that. Sheâs gone now, you missed your chance with her!"Â
âAre you still jealous?â She winks, running her hands down your sides before slinking them back around your waist. Â
âI wasnât jealous. She was just ..all over you. In the toilet, of all places! It was very gross of you both, very unsanitary.âÂ
âIs that why you wanted to interrupt us?â She smirks, tilting her head very close to yours. âBumped into me to stop me from catching germs? Youâre very cute.âÂ
âThat was an accident.âÂ
âYouâre a terrible liar!â She laughs. Â
âYou were winding me up! Kissing someone else, what were you playing at?âÂ
âYou went to go kiss men!â She points out. Â
âI didnât kiss any of them, though.âÂ
âItâs not my fault you were unsuccessful!âÂ
âI wasnât unsuccessful!â You giggle, pushing her away from you. âI didnât want to kiss any of them. I had one person on my mind that night, and I was actually very successful in getting her to kiss me ..eventually.âÂ
âI was on your mind?â She asks, bouncing her eyebrows as she rests her hands on your hips. Â
âYouâre so annoying, always so cocky.â You roll your eyes, linking your hands behind her neck before pulling her down to kiss you. âYes. You were on my mind.â You admit, collapsing your head to her chest. âYouâre always on my mind. Youâre like a bloody broken record in here.âÂ
She kisses the top of your head, wrapping her arms around your shoulders. âYouâre always on my mind too.â She whispers. âI donât think Iâve really stopped thinking about you at all since I first saw you in that club.âÂ
âWhen you shoved that bloody lime in my face?â You mumble against her. Â
âI didnât shove a lime in your face!â She laughs. âI held it for you, I was being helpful.âÂ
âMm ..well, then I owe you two lots of thanks.â You realise, lifting your head to meet her eyes. âOne for your ..handy little lime assistance, and one for saving me from that ancient creeper. I am genuinely grateful for the second one.âÂ
âYou donât need to thank me for either of them.â She tells you. âI was being selfish really.âÂ
Itâs difficult to know just how much time you both managed to kill outside, but the dressing roomâs completely empty by the time you two make your way through to it. You sit, patting your hands against your thighs, as Alexia goes for her shower, and you try to keep yourself entertained without her. Â
Thereâs a lot of things for you to look at in the room, lots to take in. Thereâs a history to the stadium, which should be interesting to have a backstage pass to. Itâs a privilege, being in here. Legends have roamed these halls, sporting greats from decades past. Itâs very exciting for you to be granted access to it, and yet, none of itâs at all fascinating to you when you know thereâs a wet, naked lady in the other room. Â
You continue drumming out your frustrations as you try to stop yourself from thinking of Alexia in the shower. Â
All on her own. In the shower.  Â
Alone. Â
Showering. Â
You really just canât help yourself. Â
She doesnât take too long to return to you and a loud gasp falls from your lips when she re-emerges. Â
âÂżQuĂŠ?â She winks, and the blush doesnât even have the courtesy of creeping up on you, youâre just immediately bright red. Â
âYouâre naked.â You inform her, very quietly, in case she hadnât already realised.Â
âMhmm.âÂ
âWow..â You breathe, gritting your teeth as you try to remain calm.
âOh? Thatâs so funny. I seem to remember that being the exact same reaction to the one you had last time!âÂ
âHeh heh heh!â You draw out slowly, rolling your eyes at her unremitting need to be cocky. Â
She leans against the wall in front of you, and it really isnât very easy to maintain eye contact with her when her bodyâs on full display in front of you. It doesnât feel like sheâs particularly bothered about your wandering eyes, which is really rather lucky, because youâre not exactly doing it with any level of subtlety. Â
This isnât really helping in keeping all of the dirty thoughts that youâve been having about her at bay. Youâre also going to split your lip open if you keep biting down on it as hard as you are.Â
She moves towards you steadily, and your heart starts beating in double time. âYouâre staring.â She tells you, yet again, and you nod at her very astute observation skills. Â
âYou ..are ridiculously beautiful.â You point out, struggling to keep your composure as she steps within reaching distance. âYouâre also very dry.â You realise with a frown, trapping your hands under your legs. âYouâre supposed to be having a shower so that we can get the hell out of here!âÂ
âMm.â She hums, hooking a finger under your chin and tilting your head up to face her. âI was wondering if you might want to keep me company?â She says, and you have to gasp again at her very friendly little suggestion. Â
âIn the shower with you? While youâre naked?â You grin, and she chuckles, nodding her head. Â
âMhmm. I was hoping you might want to get naked too.âÂ
âOof. What an incredibly tempting offer.â You admit, bobbing your legs as you wet your lips. âI just need a few minutes to really think about it.âÂ
âMm?â She shakes her head and folds her arms. âYou have two seconds before Iâm revoking.âÂ
âTwo seconds? Do you see what I mean about you being cocky and annoying? You think I fancy you that badly? That Iâm that desperate and needy that Iâll just cave as soon as youââÂ
âUno.âÂ
âIâm in!â You exclaim, jumping to your feet with embarrassing haste. âIâm in Iâm in Iâm in Iâm in Iâm in!â You continue mumbling against her lips to make sure that she doesnât start her unnecessary counting again. Â
You make very light work of pulling both layers off over your head in one swift motion, and Alexia looks rather impressed with your efficiency as she drags her thumb down the middle of your torso. She bites her lip with her eyebrow arching slightly, as she takes you in, and you do feel a little bit proud of yourself. Â
âIâve been going to the gym a lot.â You tell her, tensing slightly to show off your progress. Â
âI can tell.â She says, running her thumb back up your stomach. Â
âReally?â You grin, trying to ignore the goosebumps that have spread over your skin from her touch. âI slept with this girl whose body made me drool.â You admit, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. âFelt like I was letting the side down a bit, so.âÂ
âI think youâre beautiful naked.â She tells you, and your heart skips a beat as her eyes darken over you. Â
âThatâs very crazy! Thatâs the same thing that she kept saying!âÂ
âMm?â She loops a finger through your belt buckle, drawing you in closer to her. Â
âIt does turn out that sheâs a professional athlete, though. So, I might have to just settle for being second best.âÂ
She chuckles at you, shaking her head. âAll this ..is for her benefit?â She asks, leaning into you. Â
âMm. Well ..I wasnât really sure Iâd ever find her again,â you admit, letting out a very cautious exhale, â..but no one else has seen me..â
Â
Itâs a pointed confession from you, carrying a lot of added weight to it. Neither of you owe each other any loyalty from that night and youâd have no real right to be hurt, if she has explored other options. Itâs not a test from you, you know it wouldnât really change things, you did give it a try yourself, to be with someone else. Â
It didnât feel right to you, when it wasnât with her, you could barely even flirt with another person, but you canât really have any negative reaction, if Alexia hasnât had that same struggle. Thereâs a morbid curiosity in you, perhaps, given the direction your previous relationship went in, and you can only hope, that she will treat your heart more gently than he did. Â
She doesnât know, that you were cheated on, she wouldnât know, what her own admission would mean to you. Youâre offering yourself up unprotected, to a woman who isnât aware of the bomb she could be setting off inside your chest. Itâs a silent plea from you, that this really has been as all-consuming to her, as it has been to you, and itâs very a big ask of someone, who youâve only met thrice. Â
Her eyes pierce through to your soul, as she studies you, and itâs excruciating, waiting for her to give you something. Thereâs a clear caution in her, of what sheâs about to tell you, and youâre not certain if itâs guilt, or sympathy, or something else entirely. Â
âReally?â She asks, and her voice is hoarse, as her eyes narrow at you. You canât trust yourself with words right now, so you only offer her a silent nod, and thereâs a glimmer in her eyes at your promise. Sheâs tentative, and nervous, and the mystery that once shielded her eyes when you first looked into them, is slowly dissolving in front of you. It isnât guilt or sympathy that sheâs feeling, sheâs scared of letting you in. Â
Itâs not unreasonable for her to have her own concerns, regarding you. You were incredibly pig-headed, about being straight, the night that you first met. You told her your relationship had ended only recently, and then you jumped straight into bed with her. Â
She can be certain that youâre attracted to her, you havenât hidden that very well, but she has no real reason to assume that she isnât a rebound, or a little sexuality test for you. Youâre not the only one putting yourself in a vulnerable position here, she also stands to get hurt from this. Â
Thereâs the slightest hint of a smile on her face, as she accepts that youâre telling her the truth. The subtle confession, that the girl who was so relentlessly hunting for some random male company the night that Alexia first met her, hasnât been on that same hunt since, clearly means as much to her, as a similar confession would mean to you. Â
âI havenât been with anyone else either.â She tells you, and it breathes life back into your lungs. Â
You catch her entirely off guard as you press your lips against hers, but sheâs very quick to catch up with you. Thereâs a distinct desperation in the kiss this time, a fervent hunger. An intense desire to make known how much she means to you, to show her that the small question mark that you have over your sexuality, doesnât extend to any questions about her. Youâre in no doubt of your feelings, youâre very certain of what you want. Â
Actions speak louder than words, clearly, and youâre definitely not leaving anything up to speculation. The passion in you continues to build and itâs Alexia whoâs left breathless, when you finally pull away. Youâve rendered her speechless, and she blinks hard a few times as she lifts her fingers to her lips, before collecting herself again. Â
Youâre sporting her smirk as she looks back at you, and she rolls her eyes with a shy smile. âAre you getting naked, or what?â She asks impatiently, and a laugh rings out from inside of you. Â
âOof. I love when youâre romantic with me, baby.âÂ
This might actually be your favourite place to be. Not the random shower stalls, theyâre not particularly important to the rush thatâs shooting through you. Itâs entirely down to the wet and naked company that you have in here. Â
Reacquainting yourself with the curves and the ridges of her body, having her pressed up against you as her hands explore yours. Itâs exciting just being back with her, your bodyâs on fire under her touch, your soulâs been reawakened, and none of the scenarios you kept playing through in your head, could ever really compare to having the real thing in front of you again. Â
âIs your leg still sore?â You ask, placing kisses along Alexiaâs jawline as she leans her back against the tiles. Â
âIâve already told you, that itâs fiââÂ
âBecause I was thinking,â you interrupt, cutting her off with a kiss to her lips, âwe should probably take some precautions.â You suggest, and her eyes narrow as she smiles slyly at you. âWe wouldnât want to aggravate it..âÂ
âMm.â She nods, trapping her tongue between her teeth. âAre you offering to get down on your knees for me?â She asks you knowingly, tangling her fingers in your hair. Â
âMhmm ..for the good of the team.â You offer, feigning herosim as you kiss along her chest. âFor football.âÂ
âMm ..well, I did score the winning goal.â She reminds you. Â
âWell, exactly, and that deserves to be celebrated.âÂ
She chuckles, as she pulls you back into her by your neck, catching you a little off guard as her tongue re-enters your mouth. âI really have missed you.â She murmurs against your lips. Â
âMm but like ..as a person,â you check, pulling back slightly, ânot just my bloody tongue?â You pout softly up at her as she giggles with a nod. âBecause Iâm quite nice company for you to have around ..Iâm very cute and funny.âÂ
âYouâre adorable and hilarious.â She agrees, running a finger up the middle of your torso. It sends goosebumps all along your body again, which sheâs acutely aware of as that smirk is very much back on her face. Â
âBut in like a sexy way.â You tell her, trying to ignore the heat sheâs sent through you, and she continues to nod her head as she bites her lip. âLike a ..'I should take that girl home with me and do dirty things to her' kind of way."
âIs that what youâd like me to do to you?â She asks, with her eyebrow arching. Â
âAfter our shower ..yes please.âÂ
âOkay.â She promises, tangling her fingers even further as she kisses you. âThen drop to your knees.â She instructs you, and much like a loyal little soldier, youâre very quick to do as youâre told. Â
Sheâs never really been quite so assertive with you, and a mild moan escapes you from it, as you traverse down her body, leaving a trail of kisses as you make your descent. She tightens her grip on you as she tilts your head to look back up at her, sending a dull pleasure running through you, before she guides you to the place where sheâs wanting you most. Â
It ends up being one of the longest showers of your life, and youâre lucky to be leaving the stadium together before you both get locked inside of it. Â
Discussion turns to sleeping arrangements as you walk the length of the parking lot. Neither of you have any intentions of going home without the other, despite the lateness of the hour, and it feels like thereâs an obvious choice for where youâll end up staying. The hotel isnât the best place for you tonight. The receptionist would undoubtedly recognise the company youâre keeping, and despite Em being out for the night, she isnât exactly known for hanging around with her lady-friends the morning after. Â
You donât really want to have to kick Alexia out super early, and Em catching the pair of you tangled up in bed together when she gets back, also doesnât sound ideal. Â
âAre you scared of dogs?â Alexia asks as she opens her car door for you. Â
âNo..âÂ
âThen weâll go back to mine.âÂ
âYou told me Nala was a Pomeranian?âÂ
âShe is.âÂ
âWell ..then even if I was scared of dogs, I probably wouldnât be afraid of her.â You giggle, placing a kiss to her temple before getting into your seat. Â
âI was just checking.â She tells you as she joins you in the car. Â
âIs she unfriendly?âÂ
âNo, she is a very good judge of character, though.â She warns, with a smile thatâs mildly disconcerting. Â
âOh ..so itâs a red flag if she takes a disliking to me?âÂ
âMhmm. Iâd have to kick you out!âÂ
It doesnât feel like a fully-fledged threat from her, but there is a tone to her voice, that tells you sheâs not completely joking either.
She starts up her car and rests her hand on your leg as she sets off from the stadium. Her fingers trace circles on the inside of your thigh and you have to link her hand with yours as she starts trailing up, to stop her from doing too much when the goosebumps quickly form along your skin.Â
âIâm sorry,â she offers, âyou donât like it?âÂ
âI might like it a bit too much.â You chuckle, placing a kiss to the back of her hand, before placing it back in your lap. Â
Itâs hard to stop your eyes from drooping a little in the car, you really are very exhausted. You rest your head against your seatbelt and dig the nails of your free hand into your leg to try and stop you from falling asleep. You have limited time with Alexia as it is, and you donât want to miss out on any precious minutes. Â
Thereâs something unfortunately hypnotic about the glow from the streetlamps above you, though, which isnât super helpful with your plight. The light pulses through the windows as Alexia drives, and you give your head a shake when you find your eyelids getting too heavy. Â
âAre you okay?â She asks, a little alarmed at your sudden spasm. Â
âMhmm.â You mumble, stifling a yawn. âI really need you to keep talking to me, please. I donât want to fall asleep.âÂ
âWhat do you want to talk about?âÂ
âAnything.âÂ
She stares out at the road in front of her, losing herself in thought for a moment. She raises your hand to her lips to place a lingering kiss to your fingers, and she bops her other hand on the steering wheel. Â
âI asked after your initial.â She tells you whimsically, and your face scrunches, not at all following what she means. Â
It was a very weird thing for her to say to you, itâs not entirely down to your sleepiness that you didnât understand. Â
âSorry?â You ask, and her grip on your hand tightens.Â
âI was back in London last week ..I went back to that club.â She reveals, and your heart misses a beat as she speaks. âI was hoping, maybe youâd be in there again ..looking for a man.â She rolls her eyes and drums her fingers over the wheel. âI was worried ..that you might have already found one, when you werenât there.â You place another kiss to the back of her hand, and her fingers twitch as they link through yours. âI think we made a big impression on that bartender.â She giggles. Â Â
âBless him. We really did put on quite the show.âÂ
âMhmm! He was there again, when I went. I asked him about you, and he said he definitely remembered us, but he told me he really had no idea who you were.â A sigh escapes her lips, and she taps at the steering wheel again. âI couldnât stay in there for very long.â She admits. âIt gave me a headache. It was bad enough being in the same hotel. I did have a roommate this time, so ..we really did end up playing cards together, but ..I couldnât stop thinking about you. Knowing you had to be near, but Iâd never be able to find you.âÂ
âI couldâve gone to that game.â You tell her thoughtfully. You stroke your thumb along the side of her index finger and clench your jaw. âEm invited me, and I told her to bore off.â You explain. âIf Iâd have had any idea ..Iâd have been front row for you. I hate that we missed out on time together.âÂ
âWeâre together now.â She points out quickly. Â
âOnly until tomorrow night ..then weâre right back where we started.âÂ
âNot really.â She assures you, giving your hand a squeeze. âWe know who we are now. We know where we are, weâll swap numbers.âÂ
âAnd weâll what, make a proper go of it? With all of these miles between us?âÂ
Her jaw tightens slightly as she continues staring out in front of her. âIf you also want to.â She says softly. Â
âIâve never really loved the idea of doing long-distance.âÂ
âYou donât think it works?â She asks you, and her voice cracks slightly. Â
âI know that it can. Itâs just ..not ideal.â You sigh. Â
âYouâd miss me too much?â She smirks, and you shake your head with a small smile. Â
âMaybe.â You admit. âWhyâd you have to be bloody Spanish?âÂ
âYouâd prefer me to come from London?âÂ
âYes! I mean ..you wouldnât sound as lovely, but at least youâd be local.â You point out. âItâd be far easier.âÂ
âMm.â She mumbles. âWell ..you could have been from Barcelona, that wouldâve been helpful.â She pulls the car up outside of her home, and you stare out at it through the window. âCome on.â She tells you, patting your thigh as she opens her door. âWe wonât have to worry about any of this if Nala doesnât like you!âÂ
Alexia greets you at your side of the car and takes your hand as she leads you to the door. âÂĄBuena suerte!â She whispers, and youâre not 100% sure what it means, as she gives you a very dramatic look of dread before she pushes through the entrance.Â
It feels like sheâs really trying to worry you, but it would be very harsh to send you back to your hotel with your tail between your legs because her dogâs barked at a stranger. Youâre not exactly Dr Dolittle but are you a fan of animals, and youâd be quite upset yourself if Nala didnât take a liking to you. Â
Youâre attacked, as soon as you step through the door. Itâs not an uncontrolled ravaging that you receive, Nala certainly isnât rabid. Itâs a very excitable licking that youâre greeted with, it would seem that dogs really are like their owners. It really isnât the big and scary personality test that Alexia likes to pretend it is at all, but she might have already known it wasnât going to be a dealbreaker when she pushed you into the house with this vicious scary animal before her. Â
âWell, shit.â She sighs, looking down at you as you play with her dog on the floor, and the rare expletive from her mouth rings very cutely in your ears. Â
âWhat?â You giggle, craning your neck to meet her gaze. Â
âNow we might have to worry about it.âÂ
You lift Nala into your arms and rise to your feet. A toothy smile spreads across your face as you move towards Alexia, and thereâs a lot of affection for you being carried in her eyes. Â
âShe quite likes me.â You point out, and Alexia nods her head, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth. âAnd she doesnât even know what Iâm saying to her.â You place a kiss to the top of Nalaâs head. âYou might have to teach me some Spanish ..so we can have a proper conversation.â You tell her, bobbing Nala in your arms as you bury your face in her fur. âItâd make my trips out here a bit easier too.âÂ
Alexiaâs eyes widen slightly at your casual words of intent, and she beams at you as you give her dog another kiss. âYou do want to give us a go?â She asks. Â
âMhmm. I think Iâd be crazy not to.âÂ
âIt could be a lot of work.â She tells you, and you nod, smiling up her.Â
âI know ..and I really think you might be worth it.âÂ
A full smile takes over her face as she quickly takes Nala from your arms and places her back down on the floor, before giving you a quick kiss. She pulls you through with her to let Nala do her business outside, and something shiny on the wall draws your eye.Â
âThese are all your trophies?â Â
â..Some of them.âÂ
âBlimey!â You chuckle, as you move closer to them all. You keep a small distance, crossing your arms to make sure you donât accidentally knock anything, and you study one, in particular, thatâs caught your attention. âYou made my sister cry, when you got this one.â You tell her, pointing to her World Cup medal. âI thought something terrible had happened when she rang me.âÂ
âIâll have to apologise to her," she winks, âwhen we meet.âÂ
âMm. Youâll have to apologise for todayâs match, too.â You point out with a grin. âYouâve ruined her life a few times, I think.âÂ
Nala makes her way back inside, brushing against your legs as she scurries off to who knows where, and a finger tapping at your shoulder, distracts you from your perusal of Alexiaâs trophy cabinet. She smiles as you turn to face her, and she runs her finger down your nose before giving you a quick kiss.Â
âOh my god!â Escapes your lips in a breathy giggle as Alexia lifts you into her arms and you wrap your legs around her waist. âHi.âÂ
âHi!â Â
Itâs a passionate kiss that she gives you, and any sense of tiredness that was taking over your body a few minutes ago, is very quickly forgotten as you lose yourself in her.
âI can walk.â You remind her, as she carries you towards her bedroom.Â
âI donât care.âÂ
Youâre almost winded when your back hits the mattress, as she flings you onto it, a little carelessly. Youâd probably be more stroppy about it, if she didnât pull her shirt off before joining you on the bed. She didnât bother putting a bra on after your shower and youâre very easily distracted. Â
It is her actual eyes you find yourself fascinated by this time, though. They really are very beautiful, and thereâs far less mystery lingering in them now. Itâs tenderness you see in them as she looks over you, silent intimacy, devotion, and the idea of eyes being the window to the soul has never seemed more true to you. Â
Thereâs an honesty in her eyes that far exceeds any words she could ever say to you, but youâre fairly sure you know what sheâs thinking. Youâre almost certain, in fact, and you feel compelled to confess something to her yourself.Â
âYou. are. staring. again.â She tells you, punctuating each word with an increasingly deeper kiss. Â
âMhmm.â You concede, and your hands rest on her hips as she smiles down at you. You swallow down carefully as your eyes meet hers, and your heart skips a few more beats. âI really think ..that I might be falling for you.â You profess, and her pupils dilate as she smiles down at you. âIs that ridiculous? To fall for someone so quickly?âÂ
âI donât think so.â She says, her brow furrowing slightly. âSometimes you just know.âÂ
âWould it be okay ..if I did start falling?âÂ
âMhmm.â She runs her finger under your chin, rubbing her thumb over your bottom lip, before leaning herself down over you. âIâm falling for you, too.â She tells you, before pulling you into her by your neck. Â
Itâs different, from the sex youâve had with other people before, being with Alexia. It never seems to be quick, and it doesnât feel one-sided. Youâre not left wanting after it, it isnât unfulfilling. There's a continual desperate desire in you, to have her be with you, and to make sure that sheâs also feeling good. Itâs not a chore, and it isnât something that sheâs demanding from you. Â
Thereâs passion between you, affection, and itâs an equal offering from you both. Itâs exciting, itâs fun, and it puts all your past experiences to shame. Thereâs an innocence in your enjoyment of each other, it really isnât just a physical act between the two of you. Itâs a bearing of your soul to each other, every time, and itâs no wonder at all, that youâre falling as quickly as you are.Â
Thereâs far more confidence in you now. Youâre not having to follow Alexiaâs lead quite so much. You know her body, what she likes you doing to it, and you savour every second of having her back under you. Every whimper and moan that youâre able to coax from her, how she feels around you, the taste of her on your tongue. Having her able to cry out your actual name this evening, has also set your soul on fire. Hearing it echo around in the showers, having her moan it like a quiet secret into your ear, as she grips at the sheets beneath her.Â
Alexia does have you entirely at her mercy when she chooses to take back control, and whether she really did appreciate you being so selfless by caring about her injury in the shower, or the fact that Nala took to you quite so quickly, you canât be certain, but youâve definitely done something to have her wanting to treat you extra nicely, before you remind her that she doesnât need to be quite so gentle with you. Â
This isnât your first time; youâre very much wanting her to have her wicked way with you.Â
It satisfies the burning inside of you, completely, satiating your hunger, and happily leaving you a little worn out after everything. Sheâs in a similar state of exhaustion, panting when she collapses back down onto you. So, you can probably give yourself a little pat on the back for your own efforts with her. Â
âAre you okay?â She checks with you, as you try to steady your breathing. She places a kiss to your neck in such a way, that you know sheâs leaving another mark that youâll need to cover up, and you run your fingers down her sides. Â Â
âMhmm ..I think youâve wiped me out.â You admit, lazily kissing along her shoulder. Â Â
âI think youâve done the same!â She tells you, chuckling, as she rubs her thumb over your neck, admiring the new bruise that sheâs decorated you with. Â
She watches over you for a moment, and you raise your fingers to your face. Â
âDo I have something on me?âÂ
âNo..âÂ
âWell ..now youâre staring.âÂ
âMhmm.â Â
âAre you okay?âÂ
âDo you want children?â She asks you, rather abruptly, and you have to chuckle at the timing of her question. Â
âWhat?âÂ
âChildren.â She repeats. Â
â..I donât know what the Spanish education system has taught you, Ale ..but what we just did to each other ..isnât resulting in any babies.âÂ
âIdiota,â she chuckles, âbut do you want them?âÂ
âI donât want you to go out stealing any.âÂ
âY/N!â She giggles, holding herself up over you. âIâm being serious.âÂ
She shakes her head at you, and you grin up at her. âI think I do, yeah. Eventually, with the right person.âÂ
A faint smile spreads over her face and she leans down for a kiss. Â
âDo you?â You question, and she nods her head, before kissing you again. Â
âTwo.â She tells you. âOne of each. A girl first.âÂ
âIâve always thought Iâd have a girl first.â You admit. âThough ..I figured Iâd just have two girls ..a little boy would be cute.âÂ
âMhmm!â She hums against you, linking her hands with yours as she pushes herself back up. Â
âThat's a very intense question,â you point out, âbefore weâve even been on our first date. I should be running for the hills.âÂ
âDo you want to?âÂ
âNo,â you admit, âbut youâve got me picturing a family with you, and weâve only hung out three times!âÂ
âIs that what weâre doing?â She questions with a smile. âWeâre hanging out?âÂ
âWhat would you call it?â You ask her, and her eyes glitter above you. Â
âI donât know,â she says, âbut I donât hang out with anyone else like this.âÂ
âThatâs a relief!â You chuckle, and she bites her lip as she shakes her head again.
âI think I want to be doing more than just hanging out with you.â She tells you, and a small smirk pulls at your lips. Â
âWell ..if our date goes well tomorrow, and we keep agreeing to meet up and go out with each other. Then ..weâd probably be dating.âÂ
âWould that scare you, dating a woman?âÂ
âNot when the womanâs you. I donât think Iâd ever shut up bragging about it.âÂ
âThatâs a lot of pressure on you, then.â She points out with a smile. âTo make sure our first date goes well.âÂ
âI know, and I donât know Barcelona very well.â You remind her. âI wouldnât know where I can take you, where you wonât get papped.âÂ
She nods in understanding and leans down for a kiss. âThen, will you go on a date with me?â She asks, with a very knowing smile. âI can arrange our Barcelona dates, if you sort the ones in London.âÂ
She holds out her pinky in front of you, for you to solidify your promise with her, and you place a kiss to your linked fingers, before losing yourself in her eyes again. âDeal.â You tell her softly, and a thrill flows right through your body as she collapses back down onto you. Â
It stirs in your head, as you realise that this is what it should actually feel like to be with someone. An excitement inside of you when you know youâre about to see them. A constant wish to be near to them, a genuine enjoyment of their company. A want to share your life with them, to talk about a future together without a sense of fear, or dread about it. Â
Itâs what you could have gone on to miss out on, for your whole life, without her. Â
Thereâs a comfort in you, when youâre with her, a lazy pleasure in having her body resting on top of yours. The way her fingers trace over your every curve, how her lips light tiny fires on your skin. Each caressing touch from her is one that you crave. Every kiss, the way she laughs. Her relentless teasing, her continual cockiness. Â
Itâs all something you want no other person to be lucky enough to experience the way that youâve been able to. Itâs all what combines together to make up Alexia. You want her, completely. Body and soul.
And it hits you, like a hammer to the chest.Â
Youâre already in love with this woman. Â
âAre you okay?â She asks. âYour heartâs beating very quickly.âÂ
âMhmm ..Iâm fine.âÂ
She props herself up on her elbows over you and tilts her head with a raised eyebrow.Â
âIâm a terrible liar?â You realise, and she softly nods her head.Â
âYou can talk to me.â Â
âI know, I just ..Iâm just going to miss you, after tomorrow.âÂ
âWe canât do that to ourselves.â She tells you quickly. âWe still have the whole day to spend together.âÂ
âI know, I justââÂ
She mutes you with a kiss and shakes her head. âNo.â She says. âWeâre not doing that. We can worry about it later. Iâm taking you out tomorrow. You canât go into our first date feeling miserable, the rest of our dates rest on the success of this one. You go into this date worrying about saying goodbye, weâll never have any other daââÂ
You cut her off this time.
It seemed like she was really about to start spiralling almost as pathetically as you have been doing all day. What a pair of losers you are together. Maybe you are perfect for each other.Â
âOkay.â You tell her, nodding as you wipe a tear from the corner of her eye. âOkay, Iâm sorry.âÂ
âWe have one more day together,â she whispers, âweâre not wasting it being sad.âÂ
Itâs an unfortunate curiosity, that sleep has been so hard for you to come by when youâve been so desperate for it, and now, itâs threatening to steal you away when you fancy nothing more than staying awake forever. You donât want to go to sleep, but a yawn that youâre not quite quick enough to stifle, lets Alexia know that youâre struggling a little to stay up with her. Â
âShit.â You mutter, throwing your arm over your face. âYou caught that didnât you?âÂ
âMhmm. You can go to sleep.â She assures you, but you shake your head with a petulant pout. Â
âIâm not tired.â You tell her, and she giggles, placing a kiss to your forehead before rolling off the side of you. Â
âYou really are a terrible liar.â She says, opening her arms to welcome you into her, and you donât waste much time nestling yourself in her embrace. Â
âI donât want to sleep.â You admit to her chest, and she runs her fingers through your hair. âNot while Iâm with you.âÂ
âIâll still be here when you wake up.âÂ
âYouâd better be.â You tell her.Â
She throws her leg over your hip, drawing you in even closer to her, and you run your fingers up her thigh.Â
âAre you quite comfy?â
âMhmm! Iâm not having you roll away from me again in the morning.âÂ
âI really wouldnât want to.â You murmur, placing a kiss to her chest, as you snuggle closer against her. Â
âWell, now you canât!â She tells you. âI have very strong legs.âÂ
âI know, you do.â You chuckle sleepily. âIâve had them clamped around my head a few times.âÂ
Another small yawn escapes you as you close your eyes, finally accepting defeat, and you place another lazy kiss to her chest as you begin drifting off. Â
âTe quiero, Y/N.â Alexia whispers. âDulces sueĂąos.âÂ
âYou sound really very lovely ..and Iâm really bloody sorry ..but I donât know what youâre saying to me.â You remind her, and you can feel her nodding her head gently.Â
âSweet dreams.â She translates, tightening her arms around you, as you struggle to stifle yet another little yawn. Â
âSweet dreams, Ale.â You manage to mumble in reply, before sleep fully consumes you, and youâre finally able to rest.
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