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ikaroux · 2 years

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How are they with their pregnant companion? Ayato, Cyno.

Synopsis: Pregnant, your husband/partner is over the moon. But how would he take care of you during pregnancy?

Style: Cute, fluffy, female reader.

Bonus NSFW (18+) I remind minors to avoid reading this kind of content.

Warning: May contain story spoilers for some characters.

Characters: Ayato, Cyno.

TAGS : @atsukawolfcat

Note: I have a hard time writing for Itto and Heizou, knowing that I didn't have a "crush" on his characters. I see Itto more as a child who grew up too fast, as for Heizou, I have difficulty to assimilate the character. I would have much less trouble writing about Tighnari, who I find adorable <3

Yes, you'll notice that for Cyno, it's a bit longer, but he's my big favorite from Sumeru! I've been looking forward to this character since her appearance in the official Genshin Impact manga.

I'll probably look into the marriage proposals for those I haven't done yet as well as the "jealousy" theme.

I have a project in mind for a genshin impact fanfiction (in a dark style but with a Harem <3). A long term project, but I don't know yet if to do so, I have to go on AO3 to publish, since it will be a story with several chapters… I'm still thinking about it!

Have a nice reading!

Part 1 Diluc, Zhongli, Kaeya, Xiao, Venti, Albedo, Kazuha, Childe.

Part 2 Scaramouche, Dainsleif, Thomas.

Part 3 Dottore, Pantalone, Alhaitham

"Are you pregnant?"

Ayato dreamed of becoming a father, and has since the day he met you. From the moment his eyes fell on you, he knew that you would become his companion, his wife, the woman of his life, and, he hoped, the mother of his children. He loved you from the first moment he saw you, and from the day he married you, he treated you like the most precious thing in the world.

When he found out you were pregnant, Ayato thought his heart would stop beating. He didn't know what to think or what to say to you, but by the archons, he was so happy with this news.

Gently grabbing your face, he placed kiss after kiss on your lips, laughing softly each time he stealthily pulled away from you. How could you make his life such a delight? Words didn't come to him, a rare thing for a man of his size, so it was with his gestures that he expressed his joy. His arms gently encircled your waist to bring you closer to him. His hands caressed your lower back, and as he stopped kissing you and slowly laid his head in the crook of your shoulder, you could feel him shaking against you, a sign that tears were coming to his eyes. Although his whispers were barely audible, you knew he was thanking you with an emotional voice, over and over. Smiling, you placed a kiss on his temple, happy to give him what he had longed for…

You both wanted to let Ayaka and Thomas know. They were people you could trust, family members, able to take care of you when Ayato was away for a long time. Ayaka would let tears of joy flow upon hearing the news while Ayato would allow himself to hug the head of the family for the first time.

Ayato would be very protective during the whole pregnancy. He had been protective before, but now he seemed much more on guard. Of course, he wouldn't be glued to you all the time, it wasn't in his character, but you could, at times, feel the warmth of his gaze envelop you.

The first few months of the pregnancy had been very difficult. You spent most of your time throwing up what you had just eaten or complaining of an unbearable headache. Ayato could not put himself in your shoes, but he could help you relax. As soon as you felt able to lie down in your bed, Ayato would join you, wrapping you in the warmth of his arms, gently massaging your back until you fell asleep.

He's especially keen for you to rest on him. The memories of his mother being pregnant with his little sister Ayaka were still etched in his mind. His father was often absent because of his work and she had to manage her home alone in addition to the education of her young son, Ayato. Your companion refused to let you go through the same thing, his mother's pregnancy had been difficult because of the fatigue and stress caused by his father's absence, which had greatly weakened him. He would never forgive himself for doing the same to you.

In Inazuma, the tradition was that the father chose the name of his child, but Ayato, who was a more modern man, wanted to give you that privilege. You would still share together the names you would like to give the baby. It was obviously a moment of complicity and laughter between the two of you.

Ayato will always bring you a little treat that will make you happy (nothing strange, of course! He doesn't want to make you sick.) He knew that with pregnancy, you often crave something sweet and sugary! Most of the time, you'd end up with a little bag of konpeito, those little star-shaped candies that you thought were adorable, but would be emptied within minutes in your hands…

The baths would be a privileged moment between you two. Ayato would take advantage of this moment to cherish your round belly. His hands caressed your skin in a tender circle, sometimes feeling the movements of the baby inside. He loved having you in his arms, his lips frequently kissing your shoulders, your neck or your lips.

You often fell asleep before he came home from work. Ayato would usually find you lying on the bed, a book resting casually on your stomach. Expecting to see his beloved wife asleep, he would come and sit by your side, gently pulling the book away from you. Ayato would lovingly stroke your hair, tucking a few stray strands behind your ear. He would tenderly kiss your face, your eyelids, your lips, before moving to your belly to give it as much attention. Wishing his child a good night in a whisper, he would move away from you to change and finally join you in the sweet haven of sleep.

The more your belly rounded, the more tired and sore you were. Your back was hurting, your ankles and shins too and, by the archons, you were finding it harder and harder to get out of bed as your belly was starting to weigh heavily on your back… Ayato would take a few weeks off to make sure that the end of the pregnancy would go smoothly.

Ayato would be a really gentle and loving father, never raising his voice against his child. He would take care of his child's education like his father before him, but would be much less strict.

Bonus NSFW:

Ayato found you so desirable when he saw you with your rounded belly. Of course, he always felt a strong desire for you, but seeing you standing in front of him, pregnant with his child, awakened a fire in him that he never knew existed. For a long time, he tried to put his fantasies aside, thinking that it was better to avoid any sexual relations during your pregnancy, but that was without counting your own desires…

He would always take the time to take you to your bed or any comfortable surface. Ayato always took the time to prepare you before penetrating you. And God only knows how good he could be with his tongue. Moreover, after several weeks of abstinence due to fatigue, migraines and nausea, you had become extremely sensitive. Ayato always had this sadistic side to him, over-stimulating you simply with his tongue and fingers.

The very idea of you already being pregnant with his child was driving him crazy. As he penetrated you with torturous slowness, you could notice that his gaze remained constantly focused on your belly. He wouldn't lie on top of you for fear of crushing you. Then he would wrap your legs around his hips, torso high and straight, sitting on his knees, while his hips slowly hit your buttocks. He would listen carefully to every moan, every call of his name that you would make…

Ayato would endure the pain perfectly, denying himself his orgasm before he gave you as much as you could handle. He would end up inside of you though, watching between a few sweat-soaked blue locks of your exhausted body. You were his wife, the mother of his unborn child, he was so proud to have you in his life. Laying down beside you, Ayato would take you in his arms, whispering his love for you, while his hands massaged your lower back.

"Eh?"

Cyno let his spear slide slowly from his hand as he looked at you with big round eyes. He didn't dare move, for fear of breaking the moment. Perhaps he had misheard what you had just said? After all, you had always protected yourselves during sex, thinking that it was better to wait until you had finished your studies at the academy to build your home. He didn't know if he should be happy about this news or if he regretted putting you in an embarrassing situation… He wanted to start a family with you, but not at the expense of your future… "Y/n, I… I'm sorry, if I had been more careful you-" You placed your index finger gently on his lips, cutting off anything he was about to say. "I don't regret anything Cyno. I'm really happy to be carrying your child." The mahamatra general placed his hands on your waist, plunging his ruby eyes into yours. "What do you plan to do with the academy?" You smiled at him, confident. "Being pregnant won't stop me from continuing my studies!" His once tense expression gradually softened as he heard you speak. He had confidence in you, in your skills, and he would definitely be the first to support you…

Cyno was an extremely tender man with you. Every time he came home, the first thing he did was to take you in his arms and give you a hug. He would ask you every day how you did for the day and if your nausea was better. He wouldn't tell you directly that he was constantly thinking about you and worried about leaving you alone. But Cyno was like an open book to you, his body language and focused questions letting you know his concerns. Pregnancy made him a little too much of a mother hen…

Let's talk about the mood swings that caught you both off guard. Cyno is a man who is used to dealing with criminals or researchers who cross the line of the academy's laws. Not even Candace can make him tremble. He is the one who dominates and intimidates his opponents. But you are definitely the one who freezes him in place when something pisses you off. He won't say anything, but his round eyes speak volumes… He'll probably think that women can be scary sometimes.

Since you were pregnant, you were very eager for contact and attention. He used to welcome you into his arms when he sat on the living room couch and quietly read a report from the academy. Most of the time, you would silently cling to him, wrapping your arms around his back, gently rocking him against the mattress so you could lie on top of him. With your head resting on his chest, your heavy eyelids would begin to close, lulled by the sound of his breathing. This is how he occupied his late afternoons, keeping your form asleep against him, one hand gently caressing your back as he read his reports.

Cyno would proudly hold your hand as you walked out together, exposing to all of Sumeru your belly that was getting bigger by the day. His face would remain impassive to the curious murmurs of the locals. Cyno was a man both feared and respected in the whole region, nothing more natural for these inhabitants than to remain silent when the cold eyes of the general mahamatra fell on them. Cyno was proud to be the father of your child. He loved you, both of you, and protecting you had become his only priority.

He would never forgive anyone who hurt you. The first time you came home crying, you explained to him that your professors and students blamed you every day for ruining your life by getting pregnant with a child that will only be a burden to your studies. The anger that boiled up in your lover made you tremble, yet he controlled it, trapping you in his arms to reassure you, to calm your shaking and crying. He would make sure to silence anyone who hurt you, no matter what means he used to do so…

Cyno likes to see you stroking your round belly in front of the mirror, examining your reflection and the size of your belly. Seeing you like this reminded him that in a short time he will be able to hold his child in his arms. Joining you in your contemplation, Cyno would embrace you from behind, placing his hands on yours while his face, lazily resting on your shoulder, contemplated with a tenderized look each of your movements.

Cyno would talk a lot about his anxieties as a father-to-be to Tighnari and Collei. He didn't have a very good experience with children, who mostly found him scary. Even Collei, who had known him for several months, was still a little frightened by his cold and distant behavior… Tighnari advised him to confide in you, after all, you were the mother of his child and the one who knew him best.

During the pregnancy, you had caught yourself having moments of doubt. Sitting in front of your scrolls, your leg shaking from stress, you didn't know if your choice to continue your studies while pregnant was a good idea. When Cyno saw you, he didn't need you to explain to him to understand what was bothering you. Placing one of his hands on your shoulder, your exhausted eyes searched his, surprised to see him home at such an early hour of the day. He had promised himself to spare you any unnecessary stress, so, being the man he is, Cyno decided to tell you his best jokes to make you forget your fears and finally see your smile again. Pulling you against him, foreheads gently brushing against each other, he continued on and on, until he heard the melodious sound of your laughter. - "Shut up you idiot…" - You whispered against his lips. - "They're not even funny." - Cyno tenderly stroked your arms, smiling back against you. - "You'll think they're funny if I explain the background…" - Slowly rubbing your nose against his, you finally silenced him with a soft kiss.

As you slept, Cyno would come and sit beside you, tenderly caressing your belly with a small smile on his lips. He always waited for you to fall asleep to create this intimate bond with his child.

You often talked to your belly, telling your child stories about his father or about yourself. Cyno enjoyed listening to you, but didn't dare join you in your discussion. Noticing his insistent gaze on you, you laughed before stroking your belly, tilting your head down so your child could hear you clearly, "Daddy is shy baby, but don't worry, he's very sweet." Upon hearing the word "daddy," Cyno's cheeks took on an excessive shade of red. His heart was beating wildly as happiness overwhelmed him… In a few weeks, Cyno will be able to hold his child in his arms.

Cyno will be a patient and protective father. When we saw him with his baby in his arms, his eyes were always burning with love for him. His relationship with his child was, without a doubt, fusional.

NSFW Bonus:

Cyno was sitting cross-legged on the gold-colored carpet, his ruby eyes watching the fireplace where a blazing fire lit up the room from its center. You were going about your business until your gaze focused on the serene form of your lover. The light from the fireplace projected onto Cyno's beautiful face, whose gaze remained focused on the burning flames. He was so beautiful and you desired him so ardently… How could you resist the need to unite with him? To feel him deep inside you? You didn't want to resist anymore. Slowly, you walked towards him.

Cyno, who was always a man on the lookout, immediately looked away from the flames to watch you. He let you straddle him, admiring the curves of your body as you sat on him. His hands instinctively placed themselves on your hips whose thumbs came to caress in tender circle your skin. Your round belly pressed against him, warm and comforting. And, as your hands pulled his headdress off his head and then cupped his face, you tried to distract him with a simple question. "What are you thinking?". He took a while to answer you, his senses remaining focused on the lips attached to his neck. "Nothing amazing. I was just thinking of a way to improve my card game…" A low moan escaped him as you rubbed your hips against his member, which was hardening with the attention you were giving him. Your teeth nibbled at his neck, slowly working your way up to his earlobe and in a sensual voice you whispered, "Now what?" A shiver ran through his body as you began to languidly kiss his jaw. His hearing remained focused on the sounds of your kisses as his hands slowly moved up your tunic to the skin of your hips. He didn't respond, preferring to tilt his face to link his lips to yours in a deeper, sensual kiss. So needy…

Cyno hadn't dared touch you since you were pregnant, for fear of rushing you. However, your sexual appetite had increased tenfold in the last few months. In the end, frustration and abstinence had made you both tense and thirsty for each other. Cyno pulled you away from him, his hands working to remove your remaining clothes… Your belly was perfectly visible in front of him and he couldn't help but put his hands on it, curious about what his child could feel. You wanted to be patient, to let your companion enjoy this intimate moment, but you couldn't take it anymore. The pain between your legs was crying out for relief.

Cyno was keeping pace with you, helping you undress his proudly erect member. Already naked on top of him, you were ready to welcome him into you. The matra plunged his sweaty face into the hollow of your shoulder as you guided his sex between your lower lips. Slowly, your hips began to rock above him, accompanied by your gasps.

Both of you were insatiable, though exhaustion invaded the muscles of your body, you wanted to keep claiming him. Cyno would eventually lay you down gently under him, protected by the carpet that covered the floor. One of his hands would hold onto the back of your head to keep you from discomfort, and as soon as he was sure you were safe from injury, his hips would start rocking again at a rapid pace.

Your sex was intense and sensual. Despite the changes in your body, Cyno never stopped wanting, loving and pampering you. This man is completely addicted to you.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin flu #genshin smut #genshin impact cyno #genshin impact ayato #genshin impact smut #cyno #ayato #cyno flu #ayato flu #ayato smut #cyno smut #cyno x reader #ayato x reader #cyno x you

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slytherinshua · 6 months

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HOLD YOU FOREVER

genre. fluff. dad jihoon. warnings. reader and jihoon are married. newborn baby. no birth descriptions, but there is an epidural mentioned once. it's mostly just baby fluff. pairing. husband!jihoon x fem!reader. wc. 900. a/n. @evalevaeva the delusions are here i hope u get diabetes 🧍‍♀️

“You can’t hold her forever, baby.”

Jihoon responded with a mere pout and a shake of his head as he continued to refuse to let go of his newborn daughter. You had pretty much passed out after the birth and caught up on some much needed sleep, leaving Jihoon to hold the new baby for as long as he pleased. The only problem was, once you had woken back up, he didn’t want to let go of her.

He was currently sitting on the hospital bed right next to you, his shirt off so he could go skin-to-skin with the baby. She was sleeping peacefully on his chest, and you couldn’t lie, it was the most precious sight the world had to offer.

You would stay in this moment forever if you could, content to just watch your husband’s eyes hold the most amount of love possible for his new daughter. His fingers slid carefully up and down her back, holding her with only the most gentle touches as if his whole hand would be too much.

“She’s gonna have to eat eventually.” You reminded him, brushing some hair away from his forehead. You even noticed some tears forming in his waterline. He had already cried 2 times today, to which you had laughed at. Seeing him being emotional over the start of his new family had you melting.

“She can eat when she wakes up.” Jihoon shushed you, too busy admiring his daughter to even look at you. You giggled and shifted on the bed so your head lay on his shoulder. The new position allowed you to see your daughter’s sleeping face better and your heart instantly softened seeing her tiny face.

“Y/n.” Your husband said softly. You hummed and looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. “I love her so much. She’s so perfect.”

“I know.” You smiled. The oxytocin that came with welcoming a whole new life into the world was almost overwhelming. It was by far the best moment of your life.

Ever since you had met Jihoon, your life had achieved many highs where you could easily say you were the happiest you had ever been. Your days spent crushing on him, when he asked you out, the first time he said he loved you, your proposal, your wedding, your first wedding anniversary, and so on.

But nothing topped this. This was something far more precious and dear to you than anything else. The warm fuzzy feeling seemed to float around in the air as you stayed cuddled close to Jihoon and your daughter, taking it all in. She was so small lying on his chest, almost devastatingly so. So small and so sweet— just looking at her could make anyone want to cry.

You noticed how soft Jihoon had become the moment she was placed in his arms. Even his breathing had become softer just in case the rise and fall of his chest was uncomfortable for her. The little things he did in the moment already showed you how much he loved his child. He would go to the ends of the earth for her without hesitation. She was the most precious gift that Jihoon had ever received.

“Are you doing okay? Did the epidural wear off or are you still feeling numb?” He asked, finally finding it in him to take his eyes off the baby to look at you instead.

“I’m fine,” You assured him, “Just want to stay like this for a little longer.” You squished your cheek into his shoulder a bit more, finding a comfortable position as close to him as possible. In this position, you could strongly smell his woody cologne as well as the clean scent of soap from his bare skin. If it weren’t for these comforting smells, you were sure the birth wouldn’t have gone as smoothly. They always helped you relax and feel safe. And even now, you just wanted to be as close to him as possible.

Both Jihoon and your eyes were glued to your baby and simultaneous gasps escaped your mouths as she slowly woke up, opening her eyes wide. She seemed to focus on you, though with a newborn’s eyesight, you were sure you were blurry to her still.

“Hi.” You whispered, your lips up-turning into a wide smile. “You woke up. Was sleeping on your daddy comfortable? I’m a little jealous of you, I don’t think he’ll want to cuddle with me anymore when he could cuddle with you.” Your bottom lip jutted out as you talked in a soft voice to her. She just blinked slowly at you.

“She has pretty eyes.” Jihoon said suddenly, studying her big eyes that perfectly resembled his own.

“She has your eyes.” You corrected, the comment making Jihoon smile. “She looks more like you than me, I think you won.” You said in fake sadness.

“I love her.” He said again. You had a feeling that you would be hearing him say that a lot over the next few weeks.

“I know, baby.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek and let a comfortable silence envelop the room again. It was peaceful. Just you, Jihoon, and your baby all curled up together on the hospital bed, enjoying the first few hours of her life.

After a while, you spoke up again, “You really can’t hold her forever, though.”

↳ misc taglist (let's be real, it's more like park jihoon taglist): @yeonjuns-redhair,, @wolfmoonmusic,, @edensgardenn,, @cyberpunksunwoo

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hey-kae · 2 years

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In love with all you fics! Ugh I’ve read them multiple times bcs I can’t get enough of them. I was wondering if you could do one where Max is with Kelly (or just a random OC with a kid) but has a baby girl with the reader. The readers daughter is doubting Max’s love for her since she sees how much time he spends with his girlfriend child. And the reader and Max don’t exactly have the best relationship since it was only supposed to be a one night stand but they are now bonded for life. Can the reader be very shy, understanding of Max’s situation and caring but when it comes to her baby she takes out her claws. Idk I just love me some f1!Dad lol The reader can either end up with Max or another driver I just want some good angst with a fluff ending 🥲

Seamless Transition

Pairing: dad!max verstappen x female reader

Warnings: Language, mentions and implication of sex, mention of pregnancy.

a/n: in a hypothetical, unrealistic world where i have a child with Max, my only request would be for jos to stay tf away from my kid💀 i switched kelly with an oc cause i don’t feel comfortable writing about irl partners in situations like these. anyway, i hope you enjoy this! Feedback is appreciated… (i’m happy u enjoy my writing, anon!!💕)

“Pa” is dutch for “dad” apparently…

All throughout your life, there's always been one sentence that felt provocative and almost stupid, one that was widely known, widely repeated and reused, ringing in your ear as it rolled off different tongues, with different tones and accents but the same challenging certainty crippling behind its words.

"Your whole life can change in a day." People would insist and you would absolutely refuse to believe in such saying, until you found yourself staring at a positive pregnancy test that was definitely supposed to come out negative; at least you were hoping and praying that it would.

Instead, the plus sign felt like a mocking nemesis, pointing a ridiculing finger at you and laughing its heart out as the memories from over a week ago played, replayed, and rewinded in your mind like a broken record you couldn't stop the spin of. The only thing left for you to see was the hazy, blurry image of Max on top of you as the two of you engaged in a drunken mistake that left its permanent mark on your lives in the form of a child.

Was it exactly the right time for a baby to show up in your life? No, far from it, but that mistake ended up giving you the most precious gift of your lifetime, a baby girl that quickly became the one person in this wicked world that you'd be more than ready to defend with your blood and life.

Fast forward four years, it was safe to say that little Lilly Verstappen was the center of your world and the most important person in your life by a long shot. She was a ball of sunshine that lit up your days with the smallest of smiles and a tiny glimpse of her sparkling blue eyes.

Her features were a mix of you and Max. It was like she chose the best out of each of her parents and adopted it as her own.

At the time, telling Max that you were pregnant was the most nerve wracking thing you'd ever done, rightfully so since the two of you were merely friends that hooked up, acquaintances that didn't exactly get along smoothly but shared a night together as more of an accurate description. There is no denying that the both of you freaked out about the outcome but Max was supportive nonetheless. Sure, everything between you and him was tense but he was still just as understanding as you were. Eventually, you had come to the conclusion that parenting a child together wouldn't be the worst thing. You'd be able to manage it.

He gets to see her on his free days where he's home and you get to keep her when he's away, bar a few weekends where he invited you to watch the grand prix so his daughter could watch him race, as per her own request a few months after after she started talking.

However, it should've been obvious that things were too smooth sailing for the peace to last. You, Max and Lilly often dined together from time to time to give her the best out of a not so ideal situation, a taste of having both her parents by her side at the same time. Many afternoons were spent with you over at Max's apartment or his at yours with toys spread out on the floor and the three of you entertaining Lilly as best as you could, sometimes even putting her to sleep together only to fall into a tense and awkward silence that threatened to explode within seconds when her eyes would fall shut. Despite everything, things had went as far as taking road-trips together and enjoying your daughter's sweet moments and giggles on the way to whatever destination Max planned to surprise her with.

To put it briefly, besides the bond Max shared with his daughter, you were now somewhat used to his presence. To a certain degree, the lines of just co-parenting that you agreed on had blurred.

All was perfectly well until Max sat you down and told you he was dating someone and that she had a kid as well, both of you questioning how his time with Lilly would be affected by the presence of another woman, Valerie and another child around. He told you that maybe they can be friends, the other kid also being a girl, Ella and just a few months older than Lilly.

That conversation happened around a year ago and while there never was any bad blood between you and Max's girlfriend, it seemed like things weren't as smooth sailing on Lilly's side.

One day, as Max dropped off Lilly at your place, you noticed a frown on your daughter's face, her hand up to her mouth as she bit her nails with her head slightly bowed. It was an unmistakable expression.

"Is everything okay?" You asked Max as you picked Lilly up, her arms wrapping around your neck immediately.

"She seems a little upset but she wouldn't tell me why." He explained, reaching over and fluffing Lilly's hair.

"You don't wanna say goodbye to pa, angel?" He asked her softly.

She twisted in your arms and wrapped him in a hug, giving him a kiss on the cheek while he smiled and rubbed her back.

"Bye-bye, pa." Her small voice spoke.

"I will see you in a week, princess. Okay?"

With that and a small nod from Lilly, Max left, closing the door behind him as you carried your daughter inside, into the living room where she got preoccupied with a coloring book and some pencils while you eyed her attentively as she began scribbling onto the already messy pages.

"Hey, Lilly." You called to catch her attention, "How was your time with pa, sweetie?"

Moving to sit by her side, you pulled her onto your lap, brushing her soft blonde hair behind her ears. She carried the coloring book over and kept coloring as you kissed her head.

"It was okay." She replied with a small shrug.

"What did you do? Did you have fun with him?"

She smiled and nodded, "He got us ice-cream and i helped him to train then we we played with Poot and small cars." She gushed, tossing one coloring pencil on the floor and hopping off to grab her purple teddy bear at the mention of his name.

"That's good, princess." You watched her dig through her bag for the bear, in your mind a million different thoughts because she still wasn't acting normally.

Usually, she'd be gushing about her time with Max when he dropped her off, talking, telling and retelling you every detail until she fell asleep but it seemed like you had to pull the information out of her this time, and coupled with the upset face she had on earlier, it left you suspicious.

Figuring you'd have to find out about what went wrong in a different way, you decided to change the subject.

"What do you want for dinner?"

Following that and her answer to the question, the two of you headed for the kitchen where she sat by the table in the corner, drawing on loose papers while you cooked for the two of you, then you told Lilly to put away her pens and papers in her room and you set the table to eat when she came back.

The night went smoothly after dinner. You got Lilly to shower then dried her hair before putting her to bed early for school tomorrow then left her room to retrieve the laundry from the dryer, folding each item neatly and separating the clothes into two stacks, yours and Lilly's.

On your way to your room, you stopped by your daughter's room to drop off her clothes.

Not wanting to disturb her slumber, you placed the stack on her desk and figured you'd just put them away tomorrow morning. However, as you picked the laundry basket back up, you noticed some interesting drawings on some of the papers on the desk.

With a deep set frown twisting your expression, you picked up the papers, tossed them in the basket and rushed to your room.

Laundry was long forgotten as you launched yourself onto your bed with Lilly's drawings in your hand.

Paper after paper, you scanned her various drawings of stick figures. Each one was drawn in a different color and you knew your daughter enough to know who each color symbolized.

A purple stick figure with blonde, or rather yellow hair was always drawn at a distance from everyone else, often times at the bottom corner of the page, with a sad expression drawn onto its face.

Your heart shattered because purple was her favorite color. Purple was her.

The other people portrayed were often holding hands, two tall figures on the sides with a smaller one in the middle.

The only other time someone was drawn alongside the purple stick figure on the bottom was in one drawing and the person symbolized was taller than the one in purple and was scribbled in dark green, a color you often chose to buy your things in.

You were bewildered as you stared at the papers, dropped them on the mattress then picking them up again to stare some more.

Was Lilly feeling neglected when she spent time with Max?

Every additional detail you noticed in the drawings angered you more, especially her attempt the draw a tongue poking out of the smaller stick figure between the two tall ones, Ella presumably.

While the little girl always seemed polite and harmless, it wasn't a secret how mean children could be.

You'd have to talk to Max about this.

Within seconds, your phone was in your clutch, ready to call Lilly's father but something stopped you. You needed to ask Lilly about her drawings first, about how things were between her and Max and how things were between her and Ella.

The plush mattress welcomed you with open arms as you fell back onto it, sighing heavily as the thought of your daughter feeling left out. Needless to say, it was a sleepless night for you. You sat in bed, pondering the possible situations and conversations you'd have to have in the morning.

You just hoped it would all work out at the end, that everything you were assuming would be just that, assumptions, because you might be completely understanding of Max's relationship and job, but nothing would be stopping you from defending your daughter and making sure she's getting the treatment and care she deserves.

Max was so insistent that he wanted to be in her life, wanted to be her dad, so he better be acting like it.

—

At sunrise, you were up and so was Lilly, tired eyes watching you as she ate her breakfast at the kitchen table and you prepared her school lunchbox. Despite complaints and grumblings, she had gotten dressed and sat in front of you for you to do her hair.

However, as you rushed through the different morning chores and rituals, only one thing was on your mind. How the hell we you supposed to bring up last night's subject to Lilly in a way that wouldn't cause her to repress whatever was happening?

Max usually called before school to chat with her a bit and say good morning. After the phone call would be a perfect opportunity.

A few minutes later, you grabbed your car keys and your daughter bag and just like always, as you headed for the front door, your phone rang and Max's name flashed on the screen.

You handed Lilly the phone and she immediately answered, pressing the device to her ear while the two of you walked to the car, your hand holding onto her free one.

In the silence of the vehicle, you listened in on the conversationsr as you started driving.

"Choco corn flakes and milk." Lilly's small voice replied to Max who was probably asking her about her breakfast.

"No, pa. I didn't have homework. I was with you yesterday, silly." A small giggle echoed in the car.

...

The conversation went on for a few minutes, leaving you about 10 other to interrogate Lilly.

"Daddy says hi to you." She smiled at you and handed you the phone when she hung up.

"Oh. Daddy is the best, isn't he?" You tested with a false grin.

"Yeah." Lilly hummed half heartedly and you gripped onto that loose thread as you took a left turn.

"You have fun with him and Ella when you're at his place?"

"Yes, mommy. But pa and Ella have more fun together." She shrugged her shoulders, "They laugh so much, sometimes i don't know why. Maybe he loves her more, because he wants to marry her mommy."

Your heart broke at the way her voice shifted from cheery to dull and tinged with disappointment. From what you saw, Max was a good father, but obviously you couldn't be there for all the time he spends with Lilly so you clearly can't be sure of how well he's fulfilling the role of a dad.

You slowed the car down a little. Some delay from school wouldn't be much of a deal, especially in this case.

"You don't like being at pa's place? Does he not play with you?" You asked cautiously, not wanting to feed into the idea that Max doesn't love her as much as he loves Ella, because despite that statement being the main thought claiming your mind, you wouldn't want to lead Lilly to believe in that further.

"I just get bored sometimes, when pa is with Ella or Valerie. But it's okay. I'm a big girl and big girls sit alone like grown ups sometimes."

You hummed to show her you were listening and miraculously, she carried on talking, "I know pa loves Valerie but she's a meanie. She shouts all the time."

Your heart was beating increasingly fast, "She does, baby? Has she ever shouted at you?"

"No." She replied too fast.

"Lilly, don't lie to mommy. No one is allowed to scream at you, princess so if anyone does, you need to tell me." You said with a gentle voice.

"Sometimes she shouts at me... but it's okay, because she shouts at Ella too."

Just as she spit that out, you pulled up in front of her school, your heart heavy with Lilly's thoughts now and your mind turbulent with worry over your daughter's feelings. You were already planning Max's murder... and maybe Valerie's.

You dropped her off and drove back home like a mad woman. Before even making your way up to your apartment, your phone was against your ear, ringing as you waited for Max to pick up.

"What's up?" His chill voice asked.

"We need to talk. Come over." You hung up and stormed upstairs.

The half hour it took Max to arrive and knock at you door seemed to last forever and ever but when the doorbell finally rang and echoed through the apartment, you swung it open harshly and was met with confused blue eyes and furrowed brows.

"What's happening? Is Lilly okay?"

"Get in, Max." You gestured inside and moved out of the way.

Max was clueless and confused as he walked inside the familiar, calm apartment and sat down on the couch centering the living room, looking behind him to watch as you walked over and sat in a loveseat on his side, a troubled, unsettling look on your face.

"Look, i don't wanna come off as rude but you out of all people know that i will always go out of my way and try my hardest to protect Lilly and make sure she's happy." You started lightly, making Max slightly nervous. He leaned forward so his arms were resting on his knees, his expression showing hints of worry now as he gaped at you.

"What? Protect her from what exactly? I don't understand." He asked.

"Are Lilly and Ella on good terms?" A blunt question left your mouth.

Max's eyes widened for a mere second as he absorbed the shock of such interrogation. In his head, he searched through all the memories he had of the two young girls together, no red flags making themselves known. He was wondering where all of this was coming from too.

"I don't think i've seen them disagree or fight. Why?" He answered but you didn't acknowledge his question.

"What exactly do you guys do when Lilly's staying at your place? How do you pass time?" You felt like a detective and you hated it but you needed to know everything, needed Max to know how his daughter felt and see his reaction to it, see if he was taking his role as her dad seriously.

"Like normally, really. Breakfast, playing, training, lunch, a drive around or a walk, maybe going to a park, then dinner and just some sitting around before going to bed. You need to tell me if something is wrong." He explained then returned back to wondering why did it seem so urgent that he comes over if this is what you wanted to talk about.

"Max, do you pay attention to Lilly's mood when she's with you?" Desperation and frustration were starting to lace your voice and slip out between words as you watched Max frown.

"Why do i feel like you're hiding something and throwing accusations? I'm Lilly's dad. I need to know if something is going on." He started getting angry.

"Are you acting like it? You practically begged to be in her life. You repeated it a thousand fucking times that you can be the dad she deserves. Are you actually doing that?" You got up and found yourself pacing behind the couch where Max was sat.

"What the hell? What the fuck makes you think i'm not properly taking care of her? Fucking tell me." He turned in his seat to look at your constantly moving figure, his eyebrows raised and his mouth agape in a mix of anger and confusion.

"She did, Max! She made me think that." You shouted, "She was saying things like how it's okay that she sits alone and gets bored and, fuck- just feeling left out."

"What?" He was shocked, the words you said making him stand to his feet, properly turning around to look at you.

"Look, i've always been understanding of your job, of your relationship, of the presence of another child in your life but never, never will i ever tolerate knowing my daughter is feeling left out and alone when she's with you. I grew up feeling that way, lonely and i sure as fuck won't allow that to happen to Lilly." You were furious with how calm he was about this while your blood was a mere celsius away from boiling. Not once in your life were you ever this angry but when Lilly was on the line, you were a different person.

"I promise you, i never leave her alone." He defended.

"Then why did she say you love Ella more than her? Tell me why?" You shouted, "You want to be her dad, act like it!" You were teetering close on the edge of loosing all composure and control.

"I'm trying!" He shouted back, "You gotta keep it in mind that this is new to me. This is my first time having a kid of my own! Just because you so naturally adjusted to it, it doesn't mean that it's gonna come so effortlessly for me too. I'm trying to make the best out an unconventional and weird situation, I'm really trying to be a good dad for Lilly."

You fell silent and leaned against the back of the couch, rubbing at your forehead out of stress, the wrinkles of a frown creasing your skin as your thoughts raced.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a fidgety Max.

He cared. You didn't know him that much but you definitely knew him enough to realize and see that. He was clearly trying but was also failing at some part of the whole parenting role without even realizing.

Like he said, having a child was something that both of you were continuously getting used to so, to some degree, you couldn't blame him.

"We should stop screaming at each other. It wouldn't be good to go back to fighting." He referred to the earlier days before the hookup and the pregnancy, where you and Max in the same room inevitably meant an incoming explosion.

"Yeah." You muttered, "Yeah, you're right."

You eyed him cautiously, not knowing where to go from here.

Luckily, he gave you a small smile and patted the space beside him on the couch, "Come here. We need to figure out a solution. I really want the best for Lilly."

You sighed and allowed your shoulders to drop, ignoring the little tingling in your heart at the way Max was smiling at you. You just took a seat at a comfortable distance from him, slacking against the back cushions of the sofa and pulling a pillow into your lap for comfort, all while Max watched your moves attentively.

"Tell me what she said first. We need to figure out where things went to shit first, right?"

"Yeah, that's a good call." You confirmed as you picked at the skin by your nails, "She said that you and Ella have more fun together, that you laugh more and she doesn't know why..."

"Okay..."

"That you love Ella more because you're in love with her mother. I think that's the thing that i hated hearing, because i understand not being able to give her your undivided attention all the time but i just don't want her to feel like her dad is favoring someone else over her, you know?" You teared up at the thought of Lilly not having the assurance that both her parents love her.

Taking notice of your glistening eyes, Max patted your shoulder, taking you by surprise. It had you thinking how weird it, two people who have literally seen and touched almost all of each other's bodies at some point, being so awkward about a touch to the shoulder that lasted maybe a total of 3 seconds.

"We'll figure it out. Lilly will always be my priority. I will make up for everything, i promise." He reassured, breaking you out of your thoughts, "One more question, because i need to know this to figure out a plan."

You sighed, "Okay... Shoot."

"Is she fighting with Ella? Like... Do they get along okay? Did she mention anything about their relationship?"

You cringed at that. You were gonna have to tell him about the way Valerie plays into this.

"What?" He questioned once he noticed your expression, "What is it? They don't get along, do they?" He asked and watched you struggle to put words together.

"She didn't mention Ella much." You started.

"Okay..." He frowned, "I've never heard or seen them fight so i kind of knew that."

"Yeah..." You hesitated, "Max, do you remember how we agreed to never shout at Lilly? And to never let anyone shout at her either?"

He nodded.

"Valerie kinda... screamed at her, but she thinks it's okay because Ella gets screamed at too." You said with a low voice.

"What?" Max was surprised, "I talked to her many times about our rules that we follow with Lilly and she told me she respects that."

You sat in silence for a while, not knowing what to say while Max's head raced with how much he hadn't been noticing about the time his daughter spent at his place.

He wanted his house to feel comfortable for Lilly, for her to feel just as at home as she did in your apartment, so he couldn't really help thinking that he failed at that, failed at reserving enough attention to his daughter.

"Do you think i'm a bad father?" He asked.

"I never said that, Max." You felt a hint of guilt at the thought of making him feel that way.

"No, be honest, because i feel like i shouldn't take care of Lilly alone anymore if i don't notice all this shit." He blurted with his eyebrows raised then he pursed him lips.

"Please, don't say that. It's not what i meant. I don't expect you to be perfect." You sighed, "I'm not a perfect mother either but that's because we're humans, because we're still figuring out this whole parenting thing, and honestly, i feel like figuring it out isn't something that ever ends."

Subconsciously, your hand landed comfortingly on his shoulder, "You try your hardest to be a good presence in your daughter's life, i can see that, it's just that she's growing up. She can understand and speculate about everything around her now, so we just need to be better at regarding her feelings and making sure not to give her wrong impressions."

He rubbed at his eyes with frustration seizing his muscles and finally allowed his back to meet the cushions behind him as he nodded.

"I'm gonna need your help for a while, though. Just to understand what to change." Max mumbled.

You smiled, "Don't worry, I'm always happy to help."

"Thank you."

A quiet few minutes of silence followed then Max got up to leave.

"I need to talk to Val." He groaned as he grabbed his phone and keys.

"I hope everything goes well." You wished.

"Yeah." He replied nonchalantly, "How about i pick you up later and we go get her from school together? We can go eat somewhere, just the three of us."

Smiling, you nodded and walked with him to the door.

"See you later, then." He said just as he starting walking down the stairs.

You shut the door while trying to figure out the feeling in you chest and why something was telling you today would be the start of major changes in your life and Lilly's.

—

Following that day, everything seemed to work itself out.

Max picked you up as planned and everything went really well. On the way to get Lilly from school, he told you he talked extensively with Valerie and that lead to a fight, and a breakup.

Worried that he would be thinking that was what you wanted, you were quick to show support.

"Is everything okay?" You asked and he quickly nodded, giving you a quick glance and smile as he drove.

"I really didn't mean for the two of you to break up. I know you love her and Ella and want-" You couldn't help rushing.

"Hey, hey," he interrupted, "i told you. Everything's okay. It was a long time coming kinda thing. Don't blame yourself, please."

As days went on, Max made it a point to come up with plans for the three of you and the first time he had Lilly staying with him afterwards, he got her to invite you for dinner, something that became a repeated pattern and for some reason, your heart was starting to beat faster at every invite and every smile Max would give you.

It wasn't much later when you realized you were catching feelings for the father of your child and you weren't quite sure what to do about that.

A month later, on an afternoon when you were meant to pick up Lilly from Max's place, he opened the door for you and instead of letting you in, he stepped out and closed the front door behind him.

"Can we talk?" He asked with his hands stuffed in his jeans' pockets.

"But... Lilly..." you pointed to the door.

"Mom is there with her." Max reassured that your daughter wasn't on her own and proceeded to guide you away.

With your eyes narrowed in suspicion, you followed him, your nerves getting worse by the second.

"So, car ride or a walk?" He asked once you were out of the building.

Frowning, you tilted your head to the side and responded, "Walking's fine."

Max nodded and so the two of you began taking small steps along the sidewalk.

Silence reigned for a while. You couldn't really figure out anything to say and it was rather obvious that Max was planning the approach to whatever he wanted to talk about in his head.

By the time he spoke up, the two of you were a few buildings away.

"I've been really enjoying our time with Lilly." He awkwardly said and if anything, that confused you more.

"Yeah, it's been good." You agreed with a nod.

"I like it when it's just the three of us." Max continued.

"I like it too. I want Lilly to have as many normal experiences as possible."

For some reason, the silence returned after that. Meanwhile, your heart had begun racing out of control as you laid out the various paths that this conversation would take, the one outcome you wished you'd end up with being repressed and avoided. Instead, you found yourself considering other options.

What is something happened with Lilly?

Are they not getting along?

Does he want to change anything about their relationship? Or about the way the two of you parent her?

...

What if he was dating someone new?

Sure, it has barely been a month since his breakup but according to the pieces of information you'd pick during your time with him, and Lilly of course, you'd concluded that he wasn't actually in love with Valerie.

Interrupting your thoughts, Max sighed heavily by your side.

"You know, I'm trying hard to be smooth with this but-" he chuckled, "I'm clearly shit at that."

"How about you tell me what this is about as a head-start..." you suggested.

Max nodded and seemed to calculate his words for a mere second, "The nature of our... relationship?" He hesitated.

"Oh..." You let your confusion show, "What about it?"

He fiddled with his hands for a while before finally speaking, "I wanna try- No. I wanna ask you if you would agree to trying something new."

The determination in his voice confused you even further.

"New... Like, how?"

"Would you be open to the idea of a date? No Lilly, just me and you going somewhere nice together."

You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at Max like you were speculating if he was serious, all while your heart was dancing to an unknown tune that had slowly been becoming its favorite.

"I know this can be potentially risky, because what if we actually date and - i don't want it to seem like I'm getting ahead of myself - get in a relationship? It could complicate things with Lilly and shit but we've been co-parenting for four years now even though we hated each other's guts so, really, we're capable of working through anything." He took a breath, "I just want something more with you. I really like you, so much more than as just Lilly's mom. Just consider it 'cause i just think we would have something good, that we'd be worth a shot, you know? I've been thinki-"

"Max!" You interrupted his rant with a chuckle of his name and a wide smile, "Breathe, please."

"So?" He seemed nervous as he asked and you found it adorable.

"I'll go on a date with you." You nodded with a big smile, making Max grin so wide.

—

From that point on, everything is just history.

The first date went so amazingly well that the second followed so soon after it, then a third, and on the fourth, Max asked you to be his girlfriend and you instantly agreed.

The transition was practically seamless.

Lilly was over the moon once she noticed the nature of your interactions with Max shift. The first night she got to spend the night with both her mom and dad under the same roof as her, she was absolutely beaming.

Things between you and Max were going so well, it almost seemed surreal, but both of you, and Lilly of course, couldn't be happier that it was in fact your reality.

A few months into the relationship, you and Lilly fully moved in with him and the first free weekend morning spent there, you woke up to them making breakfast together.

It was a moment you truly cherished, when you walked into the kitchen to find Max holding his daughter on his shoulders so she'd be able to grab plates from the high cupboards, both of them displaying big and genuine smiles.

"I feel left out, I'm not gonna lie." You walked in joking, effectively grabbing both their attentions.

The three of you had a delicious and peaceful breakfast together and when Lilly finished eating and ran off to her room, Max moved you off your chair and onto his lap, his eyes locking with yours. Your legs were dangling off of one side, your arms hooking behind his neck as you kissed his lips lightly.

He smiled at you and pulled you back in, keeping the curve of his lips throughout the short peck.

When he pulled away, his grin grew and he brushed his hand through the front strands of your hair, securing it behind your ear.

"I love you." He spoke softly and, like always, it made your heart pound.

"I love you too, Max."

Just like that, the two people from five years ago who couldn’t be in the same room for over three minutes without fighting were long gone.

And just like that, everything worked out in a way that no one expected it to but in the idealist of ways possible.

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen imagines #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen oneshot #max verstappen angst #f1 imagines #f1 imagine #f1 oneshots #f1 one shot #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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sxfthannie · 10 months

Text

Possessive

↦ pairing: yandere!coups x reader

↦ warnings: yandere genre is a warning itself ig?

↦ note: just randomly thought about what type of yandere coups would be and he strikes me as a possessive type so here it is!

↦ word count: 730

Seungcheol gazed at you with a gentle smile gracing his lips, admiring the way you consume the meal he has prepared for you. Your hand trembles ever so slightly as you bring the chopsticks to your lips, but to him, it only adds to your cuteness.

"You're finally eating properly." He remarked, interrupting your actions as you glanced up at him from across the rustic dining table. Seungcheol noticed you setting down your utensils, already knowing the words that are about to escape your lips. "Please, let me go." You whispered, barely audible, but the tranquil forest that envelops the wooden house amplifies your voice.

"Aigoo, my precious one." He coos, sliding into the chair beside you and taking hold of your chopsticks. "You mustn't waste your food." He ignores your pathetic begs.

His smile is gentle, but his touch is insistent as he guides the food towards your lips. You resist, pushing his hand away, and he clicks his tongue in frustration. "You were doing so well." He sighs, setting the chopsticks down with a sharp thud. "Do I need to starve you again?" His eyes bore into yours, and you feel a shiver run down your spine.

As the tears finally made their way down your cheeks, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. The weight of missing your home, family, friends, and the life you once knew was too much to bear. But what hurt the most was missing the Seungcheol you once knew - the CEO who guided you with unwavering patience, correcting your work-related blunders with a gentle touch.

"Please, Seungcheol. I miss my family, my friends." you begged him again, his smile returning to his face. "You don't need them." He spoke in a voice that was soft and soothing that might have calmed you before, but it only sent shivers down your spine now. "All you need is me." He wiped away your tears, and you didn't dare move away from his touch, afraid that you might anger him again.

"I am the answer to all your needs, my love." He whispers, his hand gently caressing your cheek. "You will get caught one day." You glare at him through tear-filled eyes, warning him of the consequences of his actions. But he only chuckles, amused by your futile attempts to stop him. "Caught? Me?" He laughs. "It took me two years to plan this whole thing. Do you really think I'll get caught?"

He pulls you towards the living room, sitting down on the sofa and tugging you onto his lap. You felt uncomfortable, but you didn't fight back knowing his strength couldn’t be compared.

"Even if I did leave evidence, I have a man on the inside. A trustworthy ally in the police department." He smirks, wrapping his arms around your waist. "A cop is your ally?" Your brows furrow in disbelief as he nods to your question. "Surprising isn’t it?" Seungcheol’s finger traces the line of your cheekbone and down to your neck. "To witness such injustice from those who are meant to uphold the law." His dark orbs flicker towards yours. "What a sad world we live in."

You were completely caught in his trap, like a helpless fly caught in the spider's embrace. The very air around you seemed to thicken with his presence, suffocating you with his power. Even the damn cop was in on it, a willing pawn in his twisted game.

He smiled at you, a sickly sweet expression that made your skin crawl. He lifted you from his lap and placed you on the couch, as if you were a child to be coddled. "Stay here like the good girl you are." He said, his voice dripping with honey. "I have some business to attend to." You watched him put on his shoes, wondering where he was going. Seunghceol answered your unspoken question with a smirk. "The cops want to talk to me about you," he said. "But don't worry, my love. They have no idea you're here with me."

He laughed, a cruel sound that echoed through the empty house. "Don't even think about leaving." he warned, turning to face you. "You won't make it far in this forest. And I wouldn't want to have to come looking for you." With that, he left, the sound of the front door slamming shut ringing in your ears.

You were alone, trapped in his lair with no hope of escape.

#cheollie !#choi seungcheol #choi seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader #yandere seungcheol #yandere scoups #yandere seventeen #seventeen x reader #scoups x reader #choi seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #nia yandere !#csc possessive

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tangjiali-purpleyaohua · 2 months

Text

Qiu Qingzhi and Li Bing back in the days : You look at me who loves looking at you.

ISTG the way Li Bing looked at Qiu Qingzhi who was looking at him was more like a shy junior who looked at his senior he had a crush on. A part of him secretly hoped that Qiu Qingzhi wouldn't know his feelings towards him, yet another part of him also hoped that his secret crush would share the same feelings as him and then would make the first move on him. He plastered a shy smile as if he tried to pretend that he didn't have any butterflies flying in his stomach.

The drama wasn't about bromance, but really they just skipped the B and jumped into romance. LOL. Qiu Qingzhi x Li Bing boldly crossed the line of mere brothership. There's no way in Hell you would treat your brother as an adult like that. Not a million times.

Note : They didn't cut the scene where Wang Qi jumped on Cui Bei's back, but they cut the cute scene where Qiu Qingzhi called Li Bing to come over and Li Bing ran to him happily. He jumped on Qiu Qingzhi's back. Qiu Qingzhi was more than happy to give him a piggyback ride for free. He carried him like the most precious thing he wished he could have.

Qiu Qingzhi and Li Bing now : I'm just a little too not over you. Just a little! You hear me? But how are you so fine without me? I've been crying for you since the day you went away! Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant to you? Fine! I'm going to show to the whole world that I'm also fine without you!

But of course, who could stop our Vice Minister Li from the Court of Judicial Review to act cute towards General Qiu from Jinwu Guard? Li Bing could do whatever he wished since it's Qiu Qingzhi. 撒娇 full mode was activated!

I'd never be a fan of hetero romance drama. I admit that I even always tried to avoid it like a plague because I had a great issue with the FL's half baked 撒娇 (acted like a spoiled child or coquettishly). It never failed to annoy me to the moon and back to the point that killed my mood and gave me a headache. It's the main reason why such a talented actor like Ding Yuxi managed to escape from my radar (my BL-dar, LOL).

White Cat Legend was his first drama that I watched. To be honest, at first, I didn't expect him to be that good, but just a pretty face to help selling the drama. I heard that antis said that his face was just too ordinary. Excuse you, but I had to disagree! I really had no idea which beauty standard that they used to judge Ding Yuxi's exquisite appearance. This guy surely had a pretty face and a pair of equally beautiful expressive doe eyes. His laughs were so addictive. He has fair skin and a pair of cute elf ears that made his face look smaller and innocent.

He's indeed one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen, but his acting skill was on par with his pretty face. He was so detailed in micro expression, voice, quirks, and body language. He used his real voice! I was so glad for that since I could tell his changing mood faster based on his voice. In White Cat Legend, I wonder if he merely relied on what's written on the script or more on his personal interpretation to portray Li Bing. Most of the time when Li Bing gazed at Qiu Qingzhi, it wasn't for a bestie, but a lover. It was understandable if it was a BL or B-romance drama, but it wasn't. I jumped on the QiuBing ship and then sailed, sailed, sailed, to the BL sea.

When they met again after the 3 years of separation & a bitter 'breakup', Li Bing looked at General Qiu with glassy eyes as he was so ready to burst into tears at any moment. His voice tinted with emotional; anger, sorrow, desperation, and unbearable longing. But sometimes his voice became more childish just like when he was younger. He did it only to Qiu Qingzhi, especially when he felt like testing Qiu Qingzhi's patience in every chance that he got. I wonder how Qiu Qingzhi could suppress the urge not to jump on that naughty cat and attack him. By 'attack', I meant wringing Li Bing's delicate neck, not that typical +18 'attack' deflowering him in bed.

Gotta admit that Ding Yuxi's 撒娇 skill is really a top-notch 撒娇! He's not exaggerating. It was just so natural. Damn, he's so cute! When I said cute, it was purely boyish cute. I wouldn't dare to describe him as unmanly. He's a versatile actor that could act as a male character with a feminine traits, just like his role as Dongfang Bubai back then. FYI, Dongfang Bubai was a male character who castrated himself in order to master a martial art in the Sunflower Manual. I didn't watch the drama, but I watched some short videos of his version of Dongfang Bubai. IMHO, he's the best Dongfang Bubai that I've ever seen. They mostly used an actress to play the role of Dongfang Bubai. Ding Yuxi managed to balance masculinity and femininity for Dongfang Bubai. Dear a bunch of half baked 撒娇 skilled actress, you guys better learn that skill from this xiao-Dingding, so your acting can be less annoying.

Ding Yuxi as Dongfang Bubai

Tbh, I wouldn't mind if the MUA (makeup artist) dolled him up like Dongfang Bubai as Li Bing. Li Bing in his big white cat mode got red eyeshadow under his eyes! Why couldn't he get it in his human form? It would be so epic and undoubtedly look so good on him.

Was the GCI version of the big white cat actually modeled after Ding Yuxi? They really looked alike! Da lizi was just like a mirror image of Ding Yuxi. Look at their eyes and lips!

I wonder if he used a certain method as an actor; shaping himself into the character or blend the character into himself. Whichever he used, it was the best way to understand the character, but also a dangerous way since it's possible that he couldn't get rid off the character even after the drama was over. It was so tricky. However, as an adult, I believe that he was over the fragile stage to find his identity. He was already on the safe side.

As for Wei Zheming, his acting really surprised me. The first time I knew him, he acted as Jing Beiyuan or Qi-ye (Lord Seventh) in Word of Honor. In White Cat Legend, he really surpassed my expectations on him. He nailed the role as Qiu Qingzhi; the left General of Imperial Guard, the General from Jinwu Guard. Most of the time he kept his face stoic and expressionless, but if you paid more attention to it, he clearly had a lot of emotions, especially for Li Bing. I was so glad that they didn't dub his original voice. Unlike when Li Bing addressed Qiu Qingzhi by his title so coldly; damn that was so cold, when Qiu Qingzhi addressed Li Bing by his title, it was full of respect. But when he addressed Li Bing by his name, you could notice the fondness in his voice. You could also sense the air of arrogance and authority whenever he used '本将' (this General) to address himself. Somehow he managed to sound so arrogant even when he used '邱莫' (this humble-self Qiu). Dude, you're not humble at all! However on the contrary, you would notice his modesty when he used '我' (I, me). He's a real two-face guy. He was so different in his monstrous mode and his Saint mode.

After learning how selfless and sincere Qiu Qingzhi was, my first reaction was; I insulted him so much behind his back. I shouldn't have done that. Oh, same, Wang Qi, same!

It was so sad that they killed Qiu Qingzhi in the drama. But it couldn't be helped since that character was too good. Qiu Qingzhi >>>>>>>>>>> Chen Shi + Wang Qi + Cui Bei + Sun Bao + Alibaba. Once he was back to Li Bing's side, the Mingjing Hall people were basically useless compared to Qiu Qingzhi. Looking back at Qiu Qingzhi x Li Bing in their past, I thought that he was actually the '妖' (demon) in duo '妖饼' (demon Bing). Oh, come on. Li Bing was a frail Young Master back then due his incurable illness. Basically he was like a beauty lamp that even a faint cold air could extinguish it in seconds. Qiu Qingzhi, on the contrary, was a strong and reliable man with wisdom. We know how capable and effective Qiu Qingzhi was in a battle. Capturing a small fry like thieves or bandits was like just a piece of cake for him. He also could make sure that Li Bing was safe and unharmed when he played detective with him.

Maybe it's because he was a slave (servant), even if Li Bing would never treat him like one, no one really would bother to pay attention on him. He was like the shadow of Li Bing who was born with silver in his mouth and so much privilege as the Young Master of an aristocratic family.

Back to the topic. If Qiu Qingzhi was still alive or managed to escape from death, he would single handedly outshine Mingjing Hall people so easily to the point Li Bing no longer needed anyone, but him. I meant it. Wanna bet? Whenever Li Bing needs someone to pamper him, just go get Qiu Qingzhi. Sorry, Chen Shi. Whenever Li Bing needs someone who's highly intelligent and is a sly fox with so many tricks in his sleeves, just go get Qiu Qingzhi. Sorry, Wang Qi. Whenever Li Bing needs someone who's so dedicated to a case and can memorize the detail of each case by heart, just go get Qiu Qingzhi. Sorry, Cui Bei. Whenever Li Bing needs a protection, just go get Qiu Qingzhi. Heck, Qiu Qingzhi could catch and tame the original Demon Cat; Yi Zhihua by himself. He can be a real monster once he puts his heart in it. Sorry, Sun Bao. Whenever Li Bing needs a translator or someone who has a lot of connection in the city, just go get Qiu Qingzhi. He's the left General of the Imperial Guard, he will be a big help with his influence. Sorry, Alibaba.

In short : It absolutely will be the supremacy of the Qiu Qingzhi era!

See? He was so good that they 'better' killed Qiu Qingzhi.

After Qiu Qingzhi's tragic death, I felt like it's Li Bing who's drapped in moonlight, lonely, and sad since no one can replace Qiu Qingzhi. It's definitely a losing game to compete with a dead man. Therefore, it's only Li Bing who remains in the tragedy. Even though in the end, he has Mingjing Hall people who stay on his side, things will never be the same.

Now what? Even though the drama was over, I couldn't move on! Help! 😭😭😭

#white cat legend #大理寺少卿游 #ding yuxi #wei zheming #丁禹兮 #魏哲鸣

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mitsies · 1 year

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ultra violet ; dazai osamu

how unlucky you must've been, to have met dazai osamu. you don't think you ever had a chance.

dazai osamu x gn reader fluff to angst, falling in love, spoilers for dazai's mafia era, reader is a pt. mafia exec. - 3.6k

you had always known dazai osamu was a black hole.

to look at him was to look at a chasm, so effortlessly deep and empty that you couldn't see the bottom. his darkness was all-consuming and his profound desolation seeped out of the cracks in his veil like the blacktop of a playground.

for some reason, he had let you in.

you had first seen him in a bar, although you'd already known who he was. his existence wasn't a secret, and it's not like the port mafia's gossip chain would've cared if it was.

you regarded him briefly, from across the bar. he was seated near the bartender, chatting amicably. you wondered how many people he has killed this week.

the bartender smiles and laughs along, but you can see that he holds his wine glass tight as he cleans it with a beige rag. you suppose that dazai's reputation doesn't only precede him in the mafia.

dazai wasn't drinking anything, you had noted. perhaps he was meeting someone, or perhaps he was just a lightweight.

you weren't surprised when dazai approached you, in your little corner of the bar, taking a seat next to you. you also weren't surprised that he didn't ask. manners are hard to come by.

he greets you with your name, but he's never spoken to you before.

"how has your night been?"

his voice was different than you'd expected.

"a little boring," you had replied.

"that sucks," he sympathized with no sympathy.

the two of you had spoken for a considerable amount of time about normal people's things. he did not acknowledge the existence of the black blood shared between the two of you, so neither did you.

he was funny, and bright, but an eerieness followed him. you could see the sticky black tar following his movements, you could see it in his lungs and his eyes like a poison fog. you could see him drowning in it. you didn't know how to help, so you didn't.

"you're not drinking," you said instead.

"i'm not."

"you're at a bar."

"i was waiting for someone."

"who?"

he pauses. and he smiles. "you."

you didn't react, because you knew that your reputation would precede you, too. dazai osamu, a black hole, a candidate to fill the empty place of the 5th port mafia executive, smiled at you, a white light, the 4th executive.

you grin back at him.

you are unfortunate, you think.

joining the port mafia was not something you had intended to happen. you had your whole life planned out, scripted down to the very last details.

you came from a respectable area of town. you went to school. you studied. you passed all your tests. and then your parents were shot dead by the government.

(they never told you why. something about protests and abuse of power, something about fate, something about god. you weren't sure if you believed it.

you think it all started to go downhill when you smoked your first cigarette as an act of teenaged rebellion, 'just because you could', because this couldn't have been god.)

so your plans crumbled, and you decided that the earth beneath your feet deserved to crumble too.

in the world, you decided, there was nothing more precious than time. if you'd have asked yourself this question before, you think younger you would've said humanity with big puppy eyes and hands clasped like it was a prayer.

but time built humanity, and humanity was the basis of good and evil, and everything else followed. time was not just the most important factor of life, but the inventor of it. because what is life without humans to define it?

and so when the port mafia happened upon you, a young child with no one and nowhere and nothing but time, the obvious choice was to take you in.

your ability was to reverse the passage of the clock, to rewind the world into oblivion, with a touch. it worked on things, and it worked on people. you know because you've tried it.

to steal another person's years, to kill them, essentially, was an ability you would never have wanted until you realized you had it. because by the time you had recognized your ability to kill, you were already wading in the black waters of the port mafia under ogai mori's tutelage.

just like dazai, you were bound to be an executive since joining. just like dazai, you were the youngest executive until he came along.

so you realized his void before you met him- you pieced together that it would be similar to the one that followed you.

in a way, you and him were already familiar. you didn't like to think about that, though. because he was, quite frankly, a pain in the ass.

at first, you didn't mind him too much. but a few factors led to this conclusion- one of them being the fact that he was always in your office.

"your chair is so much more comfortable than mine," he explained on one occasion, as he occupied your one and only office chair. you had stood in the doorway, arms crossed, trying to look unimpressed but failing when a ghost of a grin creased your face.

that was a leading reason, among other things. he had a tendency to put empty containers back into your snack stash after taking them without permission. he frequently put chuuya into a bad mood when you really needed cooperation. he especially had a penchant for getting himself in stupid and easily avoidable situations, and then asking you to get him out.

despite all his fatal flaws, his generally unlikable demeanor, his irritating nature, and his god-awful humor, you took quite a liking to your co-worker.

in fact, the annoying qualities meant shockingly very little to you. it was a miracle to everyone, you think even to dazai.

you think that in his time in the mafia, and probably even before, he had grown accustomed to hate. the black sticky tar of anger and abhorrence clung to the walls of mafia territory like surgical gloves, for the purpose of coming out clean when blood is spilled.

(the inky darkness seeped into the skin of the people who walked over it, building under their flesh like plaque and disease, festering and becoming so normal that it was hard to remember what people looked like when they weren't blighted.)

and you think that the lack of cruelty and resentment you held was a magnet for him. dazai was so full of something dark and bitter, and in need of something to wash his hands- a moth to flame, a magdalene connection.

(the tar was well-hidden under your thick skin. dazai was a good seeker but you were a better hider. your artificial light tricked him. you might feel guilty if you didn't crave the connection.)

you had always known that dazai osamu was a black hole, and for a while, it was perfect because you were too.

you weren't sure how it happened, but at some point, you realized dazai had become familiar to you. he didn't speak of his upbringing and you didn't ask, but you could see the way his childhood flickered across his facade when he felt a genuine feeling and you could sniff out the nostalgia in him before he crushed it under his shoes like a bug.

he tried to hide his past, but you were born to rewind it. you think he knows, and you think he stopped trying as hard to veil himself once he realized.

the two of you had, at some point, become familiar to each other. you began to expect him to be in your office on thursday and sunday afternoons, and you began to anticipate what food would be missing from your stash based on his tastes.

dazai, on his part, learned the music you liked. it would be streaming softly when you entered when he was there. thursdays and sundays became your favorite days.

more and more time was spent together. you'd not only work with each other but go out afterward, too. you met his friends, ango and oda. he met your dog, snorkel.

"snorkel?" dazai had snorted upon hearing your pet's name.

"snorkel," you confirmed.

"why would you name an animal that?" the two of you were walking to your apartment building. dazai had insisted on accompanying you, despite you being fully capable yourself- something about evil enemies and their nefarious plans to kill you- you'd just rolled your eyes and complied.

"i don't see any issues with my dog being named snorkel."

your apartment building's lobby was cozy and sweet. the doorman greeted you with a smile and a nod, eyes lingering on dazai for a moment. you smiled back.

"it's a little strange, you've got to admit."

"well, i heard it on a tv show once and liked how the word sounded. so i named my dog snorkel. is that enough explanation for you, dazai?"

he pushed the button to summon the elevator before pausing, tapping his chin like a kid's cartoon detective. "i suppose that will suffice, my love."

you often wondered if dazai realized that you liked him. you didn't expect to feel this way about him originally, you never willed yourself to fall for this voided human being- but it happened. you weren't sure how.

(that seemed to be a pattern with a lot of things involving him; uncertainty clouded your mind like smoke in a way it never had before.)

dazai was the smartest person you knew, so when he first started treating you less like a co-worker and more like his partner, you knew it was an intentional change. everything with him was purposeful, a strategy, a game of chess.

(it was a game you'd let him win.)

that same day, when he'd met your cat, you realized that the feelings he held for you were mutual. in the elevator, he confessed his fear of dogs to you.

at first, you hadn't believed him- you'd laughed and joked. a port mafia executive, bathed in blood and soul untethered, was scared of dogs. but then he looked at you, and you realized: dazai osamu was afraid of dogs, and you were in love with him.

you could see his hesitancy as he opened your apartment door for you, and how his body stiffened as a snorkel leaped out to greet you. and you could see his fear diminishing as you interacted with snorkel, rubbing his side.

you watched his fear disappear and you wanted to kiss him right there, in the doorway to your apartment building. so you did.

you can remember his hands and how they landed at your waist and back, and how he kissed you back after a brief hesitation like he'd expected this, predicted it. maybe you were just one of his variables, but you didn't really care during that moment.

you kissed dazai osamu because you were in love with him, and he kissed you back because he was in love with you. (dazai osamu was a good hider, but you were a better seeker. you knew and he did too.)

the vignette that clouded your vision, the blackness and the fraying at the edges of your mind faded when you were with dazai. something about the daunting voids that followed the both of you negated each other. a strange peace followed you both, unlike the calamity of separation.

you were stupid in love, and so was he. you felt like a teenager again, the way you should've been not long ago and the way you never got a chance to be.

a teenager with a full time job as a murderer, basically, is how you felt.

"love of my life, my favourite ever, the apple of my eye! where are you?"

you often heard dazai before you saw him. he was not quiet when he didn't need to be. across from you, you could see chuuya grimace. you smiled at him sympathetically, an apology in advance.

it was only a matter of a few seconds before dazai turned the corner to where you and chuuya were stood, discussing some political uprisings in the west. he let out an elated noise and flung his arms around your shoulder.

"my honey-nut cheerio! my shmoopie-kins!" you hated him sometimes, honestly.

"you are not funny, dazai," chuuya had scowled, speaking your mind for you.

"i'll have to agree with chuuya here."

you might as well have told dazai you'd shot his grandmother.

"how could you say that," he had wailed, sinking to the ground theatrically with his arms still around your neck, nearly pulling you down with him.

chuuya kicked him and he let go, whining and grumbling. "get up, idiot, we have to go soon."

chuuya had then stomped away, and you grabbed his hands and pulled your boyfriend up off the ground. "you are insufferable sometimes."

dazai smiled, still holding one of your hands, and bumped your shoulder as he pulled you to walk to follow chuuya. "only for you!"

this was to be one of the last times you would speak to him.

(you were so, so unfortunate, to have fallen for dazai osamu.)

after that day, you couldn't reach him. the agency was falling into flames and sakunosuke oda was dead and ango sakaguchi was a traitor and dazai osamu was gone.

you could do nothing but obey orders and pray he'd return.

the night of dazai's leaving was the last time you saw him.

you had entered your office and found him sitting on your chair, like he always did. he didn't look at you when you entered, and you didn't speak a word. you'd expected to find him here.

"sit with me," he said. you obliged, sitting on your cluttered desk. you lit a cigarette and the air smelt of smoke.

the two of you sat in silence for a few moments before you said something.

"you're leaving." you meant it as a question, but it came out as a statement because you already knew the answer. dazai was leaving.

he only nodded once, and finally looked at you. "i'm sorry."

you took another drag of your cigarette and met his eyes. you gave him a sad smile. "don't be."

more quiet followed your words as both of you became lost in thought. dazai was an abyss. you had known this since before you met him. you weren't sure what brought on his change of heart, what made him want to abstain from his roots and change his fundamental being, but you think it was bound to happen. a black hole does not have infinite mass. he would reach the bottom of his void eventually.

dazai stood, and he was close to eye level with you now. "i'll miss you, so much."

you put your cigarette out on an ashtray by your desk. you planted your hands on the sides of his face and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. you kissed him for the very last time.

"me too," you had said, "come back for me one day."

"i will," he swore, "i will."

you had always known that dazai osamu was a black hole, but black holes were not infinite. you wondered when you'd reach the end of yours.

your lover did not return for you.

you knew what escaping the mafia entailed, especially in dazai's prestigious position. he'd have to go underground before resurfacing, for at least a few years.

for those years, you waited patiently. you continued your work as you always had, you let the blood run down your hands like it always had. you had nothing else to do.

in more ways than one, you helped dazai leave. you negated his darkness, you emboldened his actions, and you all but hauled him out of the port mafia himself. it was a two-man job, to disappear. you couldn't leave without help.

in his absence, a bitterness festered. the rot beneath your skin grew tenfold, like a viral disease or plague. and still, you waited.

(the saying of 'absence making the heart grow fonder' was a load of bullshit.)

you waited for him to come back. you waited for the blood to stop dripping. you waited for the infection of resentment to cease its track in your soul.

you waited, and you waited, and you waited, and you waited.

and you don't know when, but eventually, you gave up.

dazai osamu was not coming back for you, was the revelation. he had no reason to. there was no obligation, nothing but a promise. and dazai has lied before. (he was just like you, so you know he has.)

it was almost funny, how easy it became to hate him once you lost hope. you hated him, his lies and his voice, and how he'd say your name and how he made you feel whole for the first time in a long time.

you hated how you were without him now. you hated him for leaving even though you wanted him to go.

(the bitterness, the black blood, the decay bubbled under your ribcage and dripped down your spine. your chasm consumed you, brewing like a storm and infecting everything you touched.)

so you think you were basically fully gone by the time dazai really did return.

he didn't return to you, but he had resurfaced as a member of a new armed detective agency. you'd almost laughed when you heard.

this is what he'd wanted. he wanted to be good, to be a hero. he wanted to save people now. (was he still just like you?)

you threw yourself into your work. it was all you had left, at this point, your job. you have up on the idea of clean hands, of red blood, of everything being okay again.

you were born to steal life. you were born to take away time from others. you were born to be a villain. there was not much else you could do.

you had always known dazai osamu was a black hole. you feel stupid for assuming that he realized you were one too.

(you wanted to be saved. not anymore.)

(you are all you have, now.)

chuuya is angry when he sees dazai for the first time in 6 years. dazai wasn't surprised. but the genuine fury, the red veil that submerged his former partner- that was new.

chuuya and dazai had never gotten along, but they've never hated each other. not until now, because with the way chuuya is looking at dazai, he can tell that he wants him dead.

their fight is brief and over before it could really start. they're both holding back, but neither of them can really say why. the anger subsides and the fighting draws to a close.

"i'll have you killed one day, i swear," chuuya had promised on his way up the stairs, leaving the basement where dazai was formerly chained.

"by the way," the taller man dismissed, waving him away with his hands. "you're the one who broke my chains and freed me. if i run away now, you'll be suspected of aiding my escape!"

chuuya's temper flared, venom and fury spiking behind his gaze. "you bastard."

"if you do as i say, i could make it look like someone from the agency came to rescue me."

the former colleagues stared at each other, a sea of unspoken words surging between them. chuuya hated this man, he hated him with his whole heart, for what he'd done to you. but he was stuck now.

"why should i believe you?"

"i don't lie in these kinds of negotiations," dazai replied breezily.

a beat of silence passed.

"you lie, though. you lied to them."

dazai doesn't react. his face is stone, and chuuya watches in real-time as the mask slides on.

dazai doesn't reply. chuuya moves on. "if it's about the weretiger, akutagawa's in charge of that operation. he should have records in the communications storage room on the second floor."

dazai straightens. "and where are they?"

chuuya's face hardens, eyes narrowing like razorblades. he hopes that dazai can feel his stare cutting into him the way he wants to so badly.

chuuya was your closest friend. he, firsthand, witnessed your destruction as you stayed up for a man who'd never return home. he would never forgive dazai. he couldn't.

"dead."

dazai doesn't move. the world stops spinning on its axis. chuuya continues.

"almost a year ago now. they were assassinated by an enemy organization."

the air is suddenly so cold.

"i like to think," chuuya said, his voice dangerously quiet, "that it's all your fault, dazai."

they stand still, staring at each other for a few more beats before a small, sad smile cracks on dazai's face.

chuuya might hate this man with everything he has but he can't help the pity bound with anger crawling through his stomach.

"second floor, you said?"

chuuya wants to punch him. he wants to hug him. instead, he just nods.

"okay. goodbye, chuuya."

he doesn't reply. dazai walks past him on the stairs, and chuuya feels it- an incapacitating darkness, the tendrils of despair following the man in the trenchcoat.

(the void was back.)

(perhaps it had never left.)

dazai osamu had always known he was a black hole. he thought of it as ravenous, as all-commanding and omniscient, devouring him and his life. when he met you, he felt free of the binding chasm for the first time. and now you were gone, and he felt chained once more.

(dazai osamu was a black hole. you saved him from himself at the price of your life.)

(dazai osamu was a black hole. he wishes it would consume him.)

author's note: this is highkey bad plz follow me i will post better stuff later wink wink

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #mitz writes

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creatingnikki · 7 months

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things I am grateful for: November '23

people who put up lights on their homes during Diwali no matter how basic in colour and shape/design. just looking out my window and looking at all those twinkling lights or when I walk down the street in the evening, it makes my heart smile.

the band cigarettes after sex. I know they have been around forever, but I only started listening to their music a few weeks ago and their "ethereal" and "dream like" music as Wikipedia describes is exactly aligned with what my soul wants to feel like when I am sitting to write after dinner in yellow lights or when I am lying down under the sky feeling the breeze on me or when I am riding back home after a socially charged evening at a house party.

the "archive" chat feature on WhatsApp because I cannot look at their face or re-hear their voice notes every time I have to open that app. so, yes, out of sight out of mind helps.

the idea that it's okay to accept things you earlier rejected as a child. you wanted to believe that the world was a better place and that humans were more tender. and it's not like you don't think that they are not now. you just know better, you are getting to know better and that is that humans are not consistent and when you need kindness the most, tragically, you may not find it. so, the quote you read as an eight year-old child (laugh and the whole world laughs with you. cry and you cry alone) turned out to be more true than the one you wanted to believe in (Promise me not to hide yourself when you’re in pain. It’s unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone.)

uncles who are cool. not creepy, not close-minded, not with big egos and wanting to always give you a "lecture" and show that they know better. but the ones who drink with you on dinners and celebrations without judging and the ones who give you your space and the ones who share stories from their youth without being preachy, only nostalgic and the ones who buy you good food.

silver. it's a precious metal alright but it's nowhere nearly as expensive as gold. so you can buy yourself a pearl + silver ring as a Diwali present. it may be a humble start but baby, it's your first precious jewelry that you bought for yourself and you know how cool that is? this is only the beginning.

rich people who bought mad big villas on the outskirts of the city right in the middle of nature and now put it up on Airbnb so that for two days once every quarter you can get out of the city and remember that you are an earth child and when you exist as one, you can sit in silence, lie under the sky, let the breeze trace your body and not have to verbalize any part of your existence — you can simply be.

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blackgirlwhowrites2k23 · 10 months

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Summary: “Fair Date! A surprise invitation to go on a fair date with soccer player Rafael Leao. The fair has always been a delight, filled with laughter, delicious treats, and thrilling rides. Leao is able to spend his break playing games, taking cute pictures, and eating things he never really eats. Amidst playful teasing from the team, their connection grows stronger, culminating in a sweet moment under the twinkling stars.”

A/N: Let’s pretend I’ve been active this whole time! Anyways, here's a Rafael imagine because he’s so precious. In animes/manhwas there’s always a carnival/fair episode so here’s that with Rafael :). I also think I’m going to play around with third person writing more.

Immediately as she steps out of the car and makes way to the front where the pillars that hold the entrance sign stands, she’s brought back to many years past. The neon lights that have been flickering happily since she was a kid are still there. They seem to have faded a bit as time has taken its toll on them. They still flicker as if any moment they might give out, yet they never do.

Her gaze flickers all across the entrance of the lot taking in the absurdity of it all. Just two days ago she had passed by and all that was here was years old cracked asphalt that stretched for a few miles and old NewPort packages discarded like the rest of the lot. Now, not even a full three whole days later and there’s a whole other world built in its wake; that’s the thing about pop up county fairs, they’re always done in some random plot of land. Yet, here they are standing in front of Wonder World, the place of wonder. She cringes at the lack of creativity and how the letters seem haphazardly stuck up there, probably by some miserable teen working part time. She shakes her head and laughs it off, because it definitely fits the whole vibe of the place: mildly concerning yet comforting nonetheless —it’s probably the nostalgia clouding her judgment. Or, as Rafael would put it, the neon sinking into her brain.

She really couldn't believe her luck. It was truly a blessing that her college break, and her boyfriend's downtime would coincide perfectly with the time that the Fair she’s been visiting since she was a child would be back in town. She had been planning on dragging Rafael over here ever since he nonchalantly mentioned that he’d never been to a pop up Fair because one, that sounds super dangerous and two, he wasn’t sure if there had been any when he was growing up since most of his downtime was spent doing un-life threatening things.

As she arrived at the fairgrounds, her heart pounded with excitement. The sights and sounds were a delightful cacophony: laughter from children, the nostalgic jingle of carnival music, and the clinking of colorful lights illuminating the night sky. The aroma of cotton candy and popcorn wafted through the air, and the promise of fun filled every corner of the fair.

Rafael Leao greeted her with a smile that did not reach his eyes that immediately caused her to let out a snicker.

“Okay, you need to chill,” she had to put a hand to cover up her mouth in a failed attempt to stop herself from laughing at his expense.

“I’m chill. Who says I’m not chill. Super chill over here,” she casts him a sidelong glance as if to say yeah right and almost starts to laugh again until she notices the worry etched in his forehead.

Her hand immediately finds him and she sends him a warm smile, in the current lighting and atmosphere it’s hard for him to stay worried any longer from just how much pure excitement is radiating off of her.

“Are we going to go in or are you going to stare at me as we stand at the entrance,” he playfully rolls his eyes as he points with this thumb towards the rest of the Fair.

“Okayy! I wasn’t the one pissing my pants about a county Fair.”

“I was not pissing my pants.”

As the night progressed, they embarked on a whirlwind adventure, going from one ride to another. The roller coasters brought screams of joy, and high pitched screams of terror, which she was almost 99% sure came from her man who had a death grip on her hand. Each time they would get off and head over to the photos of the ride, they always consisted of her looking like she was having the time of her life and him holding on for dear life. In the end, he did end up wanting to ride them more than once.

The Ferris wheel offered breathtaking views of the twinkling lights below. The higher they went the more the outside world slipped away.

As the Ferris wheel gracefully ascended, her and Rafael found themselves in a cozy, swaying carriage, suspended high above the fairgrounds. The warm glow of the neon lights painted the sky with hues of green, blue and pink, creating a romantic ambiance that perfectly complemented the moment.

She couldn't help but giggle as she noticed the hint of nervousness in Rafael's eyes. "Are you scared, Mr. Soccer Star?" she playfully teased, nudging him with her elbow.

Rafael chuckled sheepishly, trying to hide his apprehension. "Maybe just a little," he admitted, glancing at the breathtaking view below. "But I must admit, it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She said, her eyes sparkling with wonder as she looked out at the fair from their elevated vantage point. "I'm glad you're enjoying it, even if you were totally pissing yourself at first." She couldn’t help it, she had to tease him just a little, which earned her a playful nudge and wonderful smile.

As the Ferris wheel continued its gentle rotation, their conversation shifted to a different topic. "Can you believe it's been two years already?" Rafael said, his voice tinged with amazement. "Time has flown by so quickly."

She smiled, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "I know, it feels like we met just yesterday. But at the same time, it feels like I've known you forever," He was every bit as charming as she imagined. The rest of the AC Milan team had teased them playful about they’re outing so the groupchat would definitely be spammed with pictures of the night later, on Rafael’s behalf.

Rafael took her hand in his, his touch warm and comforting. "You've brought so much joy into my life," he said sincerely. "I never expected to find someone like you, someone who understands me and supports me unconditionally."

"And you've done the same for me," she replied, her heart swelling with love. "You make me feel special every day, and I'm grateful for every moment we've shared."

As the Ferris wheel reached its peak, the two gazed into each other's eyes, feeling the depth of their connection. Without a word, they leaned in, their lips meeting in a tender and loving kiss. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, wrapped in each other's embrace.

In that fleeting moment suspended in time, they knew that this fair date was not just a celebration of their love but a promise of many more years filled with laughter, love, and endless adventures together.

But of course, the night wasn’t over. She had so badly wanted to play her hand at the fair games that she would never seem to win, so they weren’t leaving without winning a few prizes first.

The fair games beckoned them with their colorful displays, and Leao eagerly challenged her to try her luck at knocking down the stacked cans with a softball. With a determined grin, she took the ball in her hand and threw it with precision. Cheers erupted from passersby as the cans came crashing down, and she won Leao a giant stuffed dragon. He had tried after her but he could never seem to hit the mark.

“Not everyone can be a baseball star, babe,” she sends a wink over his way which has him clapping his hands and holding his stomach from how much he’s laughing.

“Oh, so you’re going pro now, huh?” He calms down enough to wipe a tear from his right eye.

“Most definitely. You want me to sign that plushie for you or something?” She brings out a Sharpie from her purse in a faux attempt to sign the bear.

He has to hold onto the game booth to hold himself from how much he’s laughing.

As they strolled through the bustling stalls, she couldn't help but marvel at the variety of delicious treats. She savored the sweetness of caramel apples, the salty goodness of freshly made pretzels, and the indulgence of churros dusted with cinnamon sugar. All of which Rafael had to try first, you know, to make sure they’re safe for the Baseball Star to eat or whatever.

At one point, they stumbled upon a humble photo booth, and they eagerly piled inside. Laughter filled the small space as they posed for silly snapshots, capturing memories they would cherish forever. She felt her heart swell with happiness, and she knew this was a day she would never forget.

As they were about to leave they separated for a moment as she decided she would have to use the restroom before they make the long ride back home. Rafael immediately ran to try his hand at a ring toss game they had passed by, aiming for a shiny prize for his girl. After a few attempts, he managed to land a ring on a bottle, and she happily received a beautiful necklace as a token of their delightful day together.

As the fair drew to a close, the moon stood proudly in the sky as if it were watching the day’s events and filling the sky with a soft luminescent glow. They found themselves sitting side by side on a quiet bench, watching the sky in comfortable silence. He took her hand in his, and she smiled, feeling a sense of serenity in his presence.

In that magical moment, under the fading twilight, Rafael Leao leaned in and whispered, "You've made this day truly unforgettable." Her heart fluttered as she replied, "You're lucky I was able to free up because of my busy schedule. This was a cute little date or whatever."

“Yeah, the neon is definitely sinking into your brain. It’s making you delusional, babe,” she feigned offense for a moment before she sighs dramatically and looks away.

“Boy, you know you love me!” She’s definitely not fighting back a smile.

He softly grabs her chin and turns her to look up at him as they sit on the bench and the world fades away for the final time that day.

“Yeah, I really do.”

As the stars began to twinkle above them, she knew she had found something extraordinary in this unexpected fairytale romance. The night may have ended, but their love story was just beginning.

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uravitypng · 2 years

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𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

┆彡 tadashi yamaguchi x reader

word count: 700+ words

warnings: fluff, slightly suggestive

summary: yamaguchi is a consent king, always checking beforehand if he can touch you. it started when the two of you started dating.

yamaguchi is a consent king, always checking beforehand if he can touch you. it started with when the two of you started dating and after a few dates he had walked you home, "can i kiss you?" the kiss was exactly like you imagined between you two, shy and nervous and so sweet.

you're in a busy shopping market one weekend buying food for the two of you to cook together later that day, "can i hold your hand? i don't want to lose you in the crowd." it's everything you imagined, tadashi holding onto you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

"can i take this off?" he asked as he brushes along your sides, asking permission to take off your top. you grant him permission and he touches you so gently, taking his time and making sure you're okay, that you're comfortable and safe and that you feel good.

tadashi's checking in has been in a constant in your relationship, always making sure you are okay after a long day, "how are you feeling, love? do you need me to run you a bath?" it's exactly how it's always been, yamaguchi being the most amazing boyfriend in the world.

his caring and considerate nature is one of the many reasons why you love him. "what would you do if i told you i loved you?" it's the first time you've seen him this nervous towards you in a long time and god your stomach filled with butterflies. "i'd tell you the same of course" you softly smile.

"do you want to move in with?" he blurts out one day while watching a movie together, the movie quickly became forgotten as you became overjoyed and you both started talking about what decor you wanted in your new place together.

yamaguchi took you to the same place he took you on your first date. it was your anniversary and the time you've spent with tadashi has been the best few years of your life. "will you marry me?" he went down on one knee and you couldn't stop crying. you're with the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. "yes. oh my god, i've never wanted anything more"

one of the most important questions in your relationship brings you right up to now. you're so nervous, he isn't even home yet and you're still planning how to say it properly, how to get the right words out. you triple-checked and there's no doubt about it, you're pregnant.

you and tadashi never really talked about having kids before, it's been brought up a couple time but you're not even really sure if he wants them. you use to not know if you wanted them that was until you met tadashi and you fell in love and you wanted everything with him, to spend your whole life together. the trouble is you're just not sure if he feels the same. you can't help but imagine tadashi holding a little child that looks just like the two of you, laughing and smiling, you know your husband would be an amazing father.

your thoughts are interrupted when you hear the door close. you're fidgeting and nervous and preparing what to say. yamaguchi shouts a quick hello before putting all his things away and coming up towards you in the kitchen. he kisses your cheek and can see that somethings troubling you. "what's wrong dear? did you have a bad day."

"my days been fine 'dashi but i need to talk to you about something. can we go sit down in the living room?" you ask while twiddling your fingers. he agrees and you both make your way to sit down.

reaching into your pocket you pull out one of the pregnancy tests you took and places it on the table in front of you. "do you want to start a family with me?" tadashi grins from ear to ear and he looks at you like he did when you were walking down the aisle. he rushes to kiss you and whispers against your lips, "i want nothing more, i love you so much. you mean the world to me and i can't wait for our future together"

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chibi-taylormoon · 1 year

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Hugoooooo aannnd Uteeeee ! ! !(I mean I want to heard about how do you think about Yuto&Yugo. )

OH BOY! I have many feelings about these two!!

Yugo!

How I feel about this character:

I absolutely adore this sweet idiot, while he is very funny at times as a kind of comic relief character; Yugo has a lot of depth outside of that. He is a very sweet and caring kid, he knows very well that he acts before he thinks and owns up to it. With everything that goes on in the series, his behavior is justified, he's upset and angry about losing Rin. Someone very special and precious to him, Yugo is allowed to feel what he does and act on his strong emotions. He is just such a good character, everything he does is emotionally driven because he just has a huge heart to compensate for lack of brain cells. Yugo is sweet, dumb and funny, it adds some charm to his character!

All the people I ship romantically with character:

Rin!!!!! Of course! appleshipping is very wholesome! Rin meant the WORLD to Yugo! His reaction when Yuzu assumed Rin was Yugo's girlfriend is one of the sweetest scenes, him blushing and rocking side to side was just precious. Yugo adored her to the moon and back and went around anywhere and everywhere to look for her. Their dynamic is just too sweet, the way Yugo even cared for his d-wheel so much because they worked so hard to build it together is just another reason they're so perfect. Yugo has and only will ever like Rin.

my non-romantic OTP for this character:

Yuya!!!! The idiot and idiot duo. Best friends. Same braincell. These two would just get along so well, always smiling and laughing with eachother. They would have the most wholesome duels for just the fun of it. They deserved to have some interaction in canon, because just that scene when they were syncing during the duel was not enough. If they directly interacted they would just spider-man meme point at eachother and instantly become friends, Yuya would've been more than happy to help Yugo look for Rin.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

A better reunion between Yugo and Rin would've been nice. Like the parasite thing was depressing, and then bam he never sees her again because she goes into the machine for Ray to be awakened. It was way too sad of an ending for those two and they deserved so much better. The whole thing with Rin always beating Yugo should've been an emotional build up within Yugo to beat Rin in their duel, Yugo wins and Rin becomes free of parasite control and they hug tightly. Rin tells Yugo thank you with tears in her eyes, she'd tell him he did a good job! Cue Yugo sobbing and holding Rin tightly because he never wants her to disappear again. Then Yugo can go look for Yuri to duel him and kick his butt for kidnapping Rin.

Yuto!!

How I feel about this character:

My second favorite of the Yu's! Immediatly at his introduction, I basically just went "Who is this emo child waltzing around, he is amazing" bam its a different version of Yuya. I thought his design and behavior were interesting, he was very angry but also it was sad to hear him apologize to Yuzu and to say he doesn't want to hurt her. You know he carries that guilt about Ruri and its rather sad. Yuto is such a good boy and he deserved way better than what he got. But at least within Yuya, he smiles and communicates with him, their bond through the series is very good. Yuto is very clearly a good sweet boy that went through way too much that he did not deserve. Protect him at all costs.

All the people I ship romantically with character:

Ruri!!! Im a big fallenangel shipper. I know there are people that don't like it despite it being one of the most canon couples aside from Yugo/Rin. The series made it very clear in the short flashbacks that they mutually had feelings for eachother. Yuto literally started crushing on Ruri immediately and was so awestruck; its freaking adorable. And that scene when he gets shy when Ruri rests her head on his shoulder??? CUTE! im cliche okay, they're very fluffy together. Plus the fact that Yuto falls for his best friends sister is rather precious, thats good stuff right there. Yuto really adored Ruri, and it was so sad to hear him say things like he didn't want to hurt her. What happened was not his fault.

my non-romantic OTP for this character:

Yuya! The other best friend pairing, their interactions through the series is very wholesome. Yuto really showed his true personality through the time he is within Yuya. Yuto is a doofus very much like Yuya who was scorned by war, but he smiles because of Yuya and even has funny comments here and there at times. Their bond is very very good, they understood eachother very well.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

OH BOY! for starters it would've nice if Yuto and Yugo didn't have their miscommunication at all that lead to Yuto being absorbed into Yuya. That's one of the things that really upsets me in this series, Yuto is angry and out for revenge, all he knows is the face of the person who kidnapped Ruri and he sees Yugo. It makes sense for their to be that mistake, but Yugo literally blames Yuto for the same exact thing he's mad about it.

Yuto the one maybe more prone to using common sense would've heard Yugo blaming him for kidnapping Rin and thought ?? wait a minute, no! You kidnapped Ruri!! Its very much both their faults for not stopping for a second to understand this huge red flag in the situation and not just duel. Boys, use your brains and take a second to chat. They would've learned somethings not right and they're both innocent. Yuya could've also helped calm them both down. So instead of Yuto "dying" he and Yugo actually could've gotten along and teamed up together against Yuri...the real mastermind.

#yuto arc v #yugo (arc v)#long post #i have many thoughts

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animationmovieshipps · 1 year

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Family (Huntlow Week 2022) #7

Here we are, last story for the @huntlowweek. I had a lot of fun writing all the stories, thank you all for reading them <3

Willow hummed a lullaby as she washed the lunch dishes.

That was the day she had been waiting for all week, Hunter and she were expecting their second child and that was the day they would find out if she was expecting a boy or another girl.

When she finished washing all the dishes, Willow suddenly felt arms wrap around her waist from behind and a kiss on her cheek. A smile formed on her lips as she recognized that he was her husband.

She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck and they both shared a long, passionate kiss.

"How's the most beautiful pregnant woman in the whole world?" He murmured, looking down at her lovingly and stroking her already big and round belly.

"Better now." She purred. "Did you take the cake?"

"Yea." Hunter replied, pointing to the pink box with the cake in it on the counter.

"Do you think Lily will be very upset about the baby's gender?" She asked in an apprehensive tone of voice, knowing how much their daughter wanted a little sister.

Hunter didn't need to say a word, the expression on his face said it all.

"... I'm sure whatever the baby is, she's gonna love it anyway." Willow said, being optimistic.

"I hope so." He laughed.

Timeskip...

Later that day, after they picked up their baby girl from school, Camila, Luz, Amity, Vee and the parents and Willow gathered at their house to cut the cake and reveal the baby's gender.

Everyone was very excited and had their stakes, but no one looked more excited than Lily, she had been asking for a younger sibling for two years now.

"Alright, everyone ready?" Hunter asked, as he took the spatula to cut the cake, whose icing was just white, to cause suspense.

"Yea!" She exclaimed, while jumping up and down in excitement.

"Don't make so much suspense, we want to know what it is." Harvey said with a smile.

He patiently began to cut a slice of the cake. Everyone held their breaths, waiting for the baby's gender to be revealed.

After being cut, the slice of cake was lifted. The blue color filling revealed that they were expecting a boy.

Hunter immediately dropped the spatula and yelped in delight. He loved his two girls, but he was very happy that he would soon have someone he could play sports with, as Lily wasn't very interested in that.

He hugged and kissed his wife, who also looked overjoyed that they would soon have a mini Hunter in their family.

On the other hand, little Lily's huge smile slowly faded as everyone around her was celebrating. She was so sure it would be a girl.

It didn't take long for her to burst into tears of sadness. Hunter soon realized and quickly tried to comfort his daughter. Although he was happy that it was a boy, he didn't like seeing his precious little princess sad at all.

"Awww sweetheart, don't cry." He said in an affable voice, kneeling on the floor to talk to her.

The little girl soon ran into her father's arms and hugged him while crying.

"I wanted a little sister so badly, that's not fair!" She said between loud sobs.

"But honey, Mom and Dad don't get to choose the gender, that's not how it works." Willow also tried to comfort her daughter, holding her little hand and giving her a kiss. "But having a little brother can also be pretty cool. You're going to love your little brother anyway, right?"

She sniffled, answering nothing as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Well, at least she didn't say 'no'." Gilbert said with a shrug.

The time has passed. Lily was still very upset in the next days, but over time she forgot, she accepted that she would have a little brother and was happy when she participated in the shopping to buy the things the baby needed.

She suggested naming him Harper, a name she for some reason thought was cute, the same as a student in her kindergarten class.

Willow and Hunter also liked the name and agreed that his name would be Harper.

One day, they were enjoying a family moment over a holiday, when Willow felt her water break and started having contractions. She never said it hurt, because in her words, happiness doesn't hurt.

She soon knew that her son was about to be born.

However, having never seen her mother in such a state before, Lily was innocently desperate that she was indeed in pain.

"Honey, mommy is fine, but we have to get her to the hospital right now!" Hunter hastily warned her, as he helped his wife to the car in the garage.

Not being able to get her to her grandparents' house in time, their daughter had to be taken to the hospital with them, but she had to stay the entire time in the waiting room, being looked after by Camila.

In no time, she ceased her concern for the state of her mother and her little brother.

"Abuela, are you sure my mom is okay?" she asked, before sniffling.

"Yes, mi amor, you don't have to worry about anything." Camila assured her, as she ran her hand through her granddaughter's blond hair. "Don't you remember? She's given birth to you before, she's a lot tougher now."

The little girl smiled, feeling calmer as her grandmother rocked her in her arms.

After so much time had passed that Lily had fallen asleep, Hunter went to the waiting room and happily announced to them that their son was finally born.

Camila couldn't contain a cry of euphoria, which consequently woke Lily from her slumber.

"Mmm... Daddy? Is my little brother born yet?" She asked, still a little groggy from sleep.

"Have patience, my dearest." He laughed, caressing his daughter's cheek. "You just woke up."

"Is my little brother born yet?" She asked again, rubbing her sleepy little eyes.

"Yes, he was born."

The little grimwitch beamed with happiness as she jumped into her father's arms and hugged him as tightly as her little arms could.

"What's he like?" She asked, her little eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Hunter winked at her. "But don't scream anymore, we're still in a hospital, okay?"

"OK!" She smiled.

He took the daughter to the room where her mother was resting from all the effort she had put into giving birth, as she breastfed her baby for the first time.

Everything she went through to hold their child in her arms was worth it, her heart seemed to overflow with happiness as she contemplated that little being that was born of her and the fruit of the greatest love in the whole world.

She loved her children more than anything.

She smiled, seeing the other two most important people in her life entering the room.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Lily asked.

"I'm more than okay, my little flower." Willow replied sweetly. "Come meet your little brother."

Hunter approached over with her in his arms.

She stopped Harper from breastfeeding so his older sister could see his face better.

The little girl was speechless at the sight of him. He was simply the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her short life, even not being a girl like she wanted.

"Say hi to Harper, honey." Hunter chanted.

Wordlessly, the little girl reached out and placed one of her fingers against the baby's small palm. She was immensely surprised when he wrapped his little fingers around her index finger.

"Mommy, does he know I'm his big sister?" Lily asked softly, almost in a whisper, trying her best not to scream.

"Yes, sweetheart, he knows." Willow replied with a smile.

She knew babies had a reflex to hold everything they put in their hands, but her little girl was so happy to think that was it, she didn't decide to tell the truth.

"Do you like him, sweetie?" Hunter asked.

"I love my little brother." She said, before carefully leaning over and placing a kiss on Harper's forehead, which made him let out a cute little grunt.

Willow and Hunter looked at each other affectionately and he kissed her on the lips. Despite so many stones in their paths, they managed to build a life together, formed a beautiful family and loved each other more with each passing day.

He managed to do what his ancestors couldn't, and at the same time that it saddened him a little, he couldn't feel any luckier for it.

#the owl house #huntlow #toh hunter #toh willow #hunter x willow #huntlow week 2022

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carminavulcana · 2 years

Text

A Matter of Mercy

I am new to the RRR fandom, and I posted my fics to AO3, but I am realizing most people read fics here. So, I am reposting my works here as well. Hope you like them. This story is called A Matter of Mercy. It is a missing scene between guilty Ram and unconscious Bheem in the aftermath of the whipping scene. Canon-compliant. No slash.

Please leave me feedback. It means the world to me. I am also taking prompts. Mostly Ram & Bheem friendship, Gen, Angst, Historical Fiction, and Hurt/Comfort.

I think I am somewhat ace so no smut or romance, but everything else is welcome :)

XXXXX

Ram walked through the crowd in a daze. The sounds of the angry spectators and the pained cries of the British soldiers sounded garbled and muffled in his ears. He could hear nothing but the heavy pounding of his own heart. The only other thing he was also uncomfortably aware of was Bheem's weak and shallow breathing as his tortured body struggled to stay alive after everything it had been subjected to.

The entire right side of his own body was soaked through with Bheem's blood. And even though Bheem was as heavy as he looked, Ram felt compelled to carry him, lest he be jostled and hurt any more in the merciless arms of another policeman or soldier.

Finally, he deposited his precious cargo in the back of the police van. There was nothing more he could do.

He made his way back to the governor's house without stopping to engage the crowd or help his fellow policemen who were still being assaulted by the riotous mob. It was nothing less than a small miracle that he too wasn't pulled to the ground by the crowd, even though he, more than anyone else, deserved to be lynched for what he had done.

The hours trickled by slowly. He was congratulated by several officials for his skill with the whip, for his loyalty to the British crown, and for his ruthless adherence to imperial law. Each hand he shook tore a hole inside him. In the evening, he was honoured with a chance to take his tea with the Buxtons. After all, he had given the governor's precious wife exactly what she had wanted. Bheem's blood. And Bheem's screams.

The tea itself felt like acid going down his throat. And while he managed to gulp it down somehow, he found himself unable to take even a bite of the rich, sweet fruitcake and the scones that had been placed before him.

He recalled his last meal with Bheem. They had eaten a whole bucket of chaunsa mangoes sitting by the cool waters of the Yamuna. It had been an afternoon to remember. They had regaled each other with their lamest jokes, including a dirty one that Ram had heard in a local tavern. Unsurprisingly, it had gone over Bheem's head.

"You were supposed to laugh," Ram crossed his elbows and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Why?" Bheem asked, genuinely confused.

"Melons, Bheem, sure you know what those are?" Ram smirked.

"Yes, melons," Bheem agreed. "The fruit you get in the summer. As a child, I used to go and help with the melon harvest in the spring. Sometimes, I even brought a few home. They were nice enough. But nothing compares with mangoes. Truly, it is the king of fruits. The Maharajadhiraja of fruits."

Ram stared at him.

"Bheem, what do you think we are talking about?"

"Fruits," Bheem smiled. "We are talking about fruits, right. I guess the topic of jokes is over! You really tell very funny ones!"

Ram didn't know whether to laugh or to explain the joke to Bheem. How could a grown man not know what melons referred to?

Ram chuckled at the memory. Sweet, naïve, innocent Bheem.

But today, at least a part of that innocence had been stolen from him. Never again would he be so guilelessly trusting of a smooth-talking stranger. That is, if he survived.

Ram knew the governor was not yet done with Bheem. There was a final act of humiliation that was left to commit against him. A very public hanging.

Ram had seen people hanged before. It was never pretty. The victims sometimes wet themselves. Some lost control of their bowels. And the mechanics of hanging were such that the dying body's eyes bulged out of their sockets and blood vessels broke, leaving the face frozen in a mask of grotesque agony.

Was that to be Bheem's fate? The thought made Ram bolt to the bathroom and vomit out the meager amount of tea he had consumed along with a significant quantity of bile.

How could he have strayed so far off the correct path? This couldn't have been what his baba wanted? Was baba watching him from somewhere up there? Was he proud of him? Or was he ashamed that his beloved son, destined to be a revolutionary, had somehow turned into the very monster he had sworn to fight?

For hours together, he sat lost in thought. He tried to release his anger and frustration on walls and inanimate objects as he usually did, but nothing would drive the melancholic steel of Bheem's song from his mind. Bheem's resigned face, beautiful and poised even in such unrelenting torment, swam before his eyes.

He could not let Bheem die.

But injured as badly as he was, there was no way he would survive the night without medical attention.

Ram waited for the lights to go out before making his move.

It took him the better part of an hour to reach the station Bheem was being held at. Now that he was a senior special officer, clearly in the good graces of Her Ladyship Madam Catherine Buxton, he was easily granted access to the unconscious prisoner.

"Leave," he commanded the guards. They saluted him and complied without question or comment

Finally, alone and unwatched by prying eyes, he allowed the veil of indifference to slip from his face. Swallowing back the bile that rose again in his throat, he stepped closer to the prone form of the man who had come to mean so much to him in such a short time.

Legs shaking uncontrollably, he pushed himself the floor and gingerly drew Bheem's dark head into his lap.

His hair was stuck to his scalp, sticky and matted with drying blood. More blood stained his lips, his chin, and his throat. On closer inspection, Ram saw the wounds that had caused Bheem's dhoti to become so drenched with red.

His thighs. So, the whip really had done its damage. Bitterly, Ram congratulated himself for his skill as a torturer. And another pang of guilt hit him. Those wounds had definitely been pulled and ripped even wider when they hung that metal block from his feet.

Terrified and drowning in a sea of emotions he could barely scratch the surface of, he brought his face closer to Bheem's and allowed himself the undeserved comfort of feeling Bheem's cheek beneath his own. He closed his eyes and let the tears come. This would be his only opportunity to cry. And there was no one he could cry in front of; no one except for his dear, dear friend who he had betrayed in a heartbeat.

In those moments of silence and misery, he heard the rattling of death in Bheem's still-laboured breaths.

He was torn.

Should he let Bheem go? Let him go and allow him a relatively quick and private exit from a life that was now sure to be nothing but more pain and hell? Or fight for him this time? So that he, Ram, could have a chance to right this great wrong?

It would be a long shot. The odds of failure were much higher than the odds of success. The consequences of failure would be unbearable.

Ram could not bear the thought of Bheem being hanged publicly. He could not blink away the horrifying vision of Bheem losing his dignity in his final moments, broken down to nothing but a stupid, pitiable animal about to be put down.

But could he watch him die now? Or was he such a coward that he could not even bear to witness the results of his own barbarity?

"You cannot die," Ram whispered. With great gentleness, he placed Bheem's head back on the hard stone floor.

"Don't give up just yet," he pleaded with his unconscious friend. "You have to get Malli home. You promised you would."

*****

"Medical attention?" The station in-charge looked confused. "The likes of him don't deserve medical attention. Besides, it would be wasted on him. Our own personnel need the services and the supplies of the physician after the stupid mob beat some of them senseless."

"He will die without medical attention," Ram ground out. "The physician must see to him. Now."

"Then let him die," the other man retorted. "He is anyway a dead man. You heard the governor, didn't you? They will hang him in two days. What is the point in saving him when he is already practically dead?"

Ram closed his eyes and calmed his raging nerves. It was now or never. This was the time to bring out the best of his acting abilities.

"His Lord and Her Ladyship will not be pleased if he croaks without their permission," he said dangerously. "Lady Buxton would want to see him hang; conscious of each excruciating moment as the noose tightens around his worthless neck.... And if she cannot have his neck, I assure you it will be yours."

The station in-charge, suitably cowed by Ram's words, nodded wearily and summoned the physician. Inwardly, Ram sighed in relief.

"Since this is all about pleasing Her Ladyship, I assume you don't want him any more comfortable than is strictly necessary," the in-charge ventured cautiously. "Painkillers are a carefully rationed medicine. We can't afford to waste any on him."

Ram blinked in disbelief.

What? No. Of course, Bheem needed painkillers. He had to be swimming in a sea of pain. If anyone needed painkillers right that moment, it was him.

But Ram also recognised a lost battle when he saw one. Much as he wanted Bheem to have some relief from the pain, he couldn't risk blowing his cover yet.

"Indeed," he intoned. "Don't waste any extra medicine on him. Just keep him alive until the hanging."

A few minutes later, the physician arrived. Ram wanted to stay and ask questions about Bheem's condition. He wanted to make sure that his friend would live and recover from this.

But by the looks the station in-charge was giving him, he had already overstayed his welcome.

And time was of the essence. He had to move to the next stage of his plan.

"May the Gods have mercy on you, Bheem," he prayed silently as the physician retreated into the injured man's dank cell. "And may they have mercy on my black soul."

Ram didn't know if he would ever get to speak to Bheem again. His own death was certain, now that he had chosen his path. But maybe he would get a moment to beg for forgiveness. Just a moment.

That night, sleep eluded Ram, which was fine, because he had prepared his bed for his final rest. There was only one task ahead of him.

Bheem would live to fight another day.

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