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btxt1223 · 3 months

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My Journey with BTS

tw// mentions of suicide

So, I have created this account to post random thoughts and a way to express my emotions better. I want to write my 1st post about BTS cause the only people to whom I have genuinely expressed my emotions is BTS.

So, I have known about BTS since 2015 and started stanning them in 2017. When DNA came out, I wasn't particularly obsessed with it then, but Yoongi caught my eye because of his stage name, Suga. I was intrigued. The man had a very chill vibe to him, which I was drawn to; soon enough, I was binge-watching their interviews and music videos, listening to their songs, looking up their song translations, and, of course, Run BTS. I was obsessed with them, and I still am. The seven guys became my rock during high school. Would I be here trying to write this blog if not for them? I can't imagine even going a day without listening to their music, like just one song, a group or a solo. BTS has played a massive role in making me the person I am, the way I think, and my ideas. They made me a more curious person. From their music videos to the theme of the music that they made, it made learning things about society and art amusing for me, which I couldn't think would have happened in an education system that tries to kill our thinking. I decided to take up humanities as my stream because Map of Persona made me curious about psychology. The Blood, Sweat and Tears music video interested me in Greek mythology. I learned South Korea's history and socio-economics to understand their music better. I learned how the music industry in the West and South Korea works so that I could see them succeed in something they put so much passion and love into. I learned to care, be kind and humble, and love myself.

So, let me try to talk about my emotions, which is a tough thing for me to do, and I have been trying my best to avoid that part for a long time. Not talking about it wouldn't do justice to this blog, where I am talking about my journey with BTS. I wasn't particularly a kid who got along with everyone and had many friends growing up. I remember feeling lonely constantly as a kid. I had social anxiety growing up, which made talking to people extremely hard for me. I wasn’t great in academics, and I still am not. I try my best, but something keeps lacking, making me incredibly insecure. Things like these have left me feeling insanely depressed that I have lost the meaning of life. I had so many times considered ending my life, never made any attempts or such, but just wished a truck would come and hit me. Soon, those thoughts came to my mind less when I started listening to BTS because they talked about these feelings in their lives and music.

I felt I wasn't alone for the first time, that somebody truly got me. I started trying to live because of them. I looked forward to their new music, the surprise live shows after every award function, the concerts they did or just randomly at night because they couldn't sleep, those Weverse posts, and the Run BTS new episode. Those little things motivated me to get out of bed and finish my day to peacefully enjoy whatever content they put out. I was reading one of my diary entries filled with BTS back during the lockdown. I didn't realise before reading that diary entry how much of a significant role they played in helping me stay alive when I got a considerable side effect of depression from my ADHD medications, and for that, I am thankful. I wouldn't be attending a nice enough college without them keeping me motivated, and I can't thank them enough.

I am ending this post on a somewhat incomplete note because it is tough for me to talk about something so close to my heart, and my journey with BTS here hasn't ended yet. I'll come soon enough to talk more about this.

#bts #my writing #yoongi #music #bts army #mental health #adhd #tw depressing stuff

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francesderwent · 1 year

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imissthembutitwasntadisaster said: Wait you got hit by a truck? Did I miss the Cate Lore? Babes when did this happen please elaborate

I searched the annals of my blog but I can’t find a time I told the whole story?? doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but ah well.

it was December, in the year 2017. I had just finished my first semester of PhD school, and was going to leave the big city the next day to go home for Christmas break. I had probably written something like fifty pages worth of academic papers that week, and I was pretty sleep-deprived, but it was my turn to make dinner for my roommates one more time before we all went our separate ways for the holiday. at this point in my life, I was not in possession of a car, so I walked for twenty minutes or so to the local family-owned grocery story, bought the ingredients for fajitas, and started to walk back. “started” being the key term here.

there was a particular intersection I crossed every single day, any time I had to get anywhere. I think it was a four-lane road crossing another four-lane road, but I can’t remember now. anyway, it was right next to the metro stop, and every time people got off the train a whole crowd would jaywalk across the road without waiting for the light. and I, being a despicable goody-two-shoes, never did that. I would wait nicely for the light to change and the little pedestrian light to turn on, and then I would cross in the crosswalk.

on this particular day, I waited at the curb with my two very heavy bags of groceries, and when the light changed I stepped into the crosswalk, as per usual. it was not at this point that I was hit, because then it would be my fault for not checking to see if anyone was coming before I stepped into the crosswalk. no, I was at least eight steps into the crosswalk. at this point in the story I’d like to introduce a new character: a blue pick-up truck. the driver of said blue pick-up truck had been planning to make a right turn on a red light, and had been looking up ahead to the left to check for oncoming traffic. he was not, as it turns out, looking up ahead to check for four-foot-ten graduate students whose groceries weighed more than she did. I believe the driver saw me right before impact, and braked. I had also noticed the truck, just in time to know it was definitely going to hit me and there was nothing I could do.

the grille of the truck hit me in the vicinity of my left hip and knocked my feet out from under me. I landed face-first, caught myself on my hands and arms, and then bounced/slid/flew another twelve feet or so backwards. (I never had any bruising on my knees, so I can only assume I caught myself on my toes like the winter soldier.) I was fairly certain I was going to be run over by any, if not many of the cars waiting for the light, but when I looked up I just saw a row of drivers looking at me in horror with their mouths open. “alright,” I thought, “they see me. I might not be about to die.” nobody made a move to do anything or came rushing out to help me. the driver of the blue pick-up truck got out, and was looking dazedly one of my grocery bags, which was under his car. I waited for him to say something. he said, “I’ve completely crushed your groceries.” “that,” I said coldly, “is not really what I’m concerned about right now.” “no,” he said, “of course not.” seeing that I wasn’t going to get any sense out of him, I picked myself up and went and sat myself down on the curb and called my roommate. she was making candles or lemon curd or something for Christmas presents, and didn’t answer. the driver of the blue pick-up had pulled his truck over to the side of the road and was now hovering over me nervously. his all-too-clear shock was beginning to be funny. I offered my hand to shake, and introduced myself. he said his name was Bob. “You couldn’t have done this last week when I had finals, Bob?” I said. Bob did not think this was funny, and seemed to think he had really knocked something loose in my brain.

I examined myself for injuries. I had some road rash, and some pebbles in my arms. I picked them out. my roommate had not called back, and I was starting to contemplate just walking the rest of the way home. Bob did not think this was a good idea. just when I was about to start my trek, my roommate called back. “I was hit by a car,” I told her. “WHAT?” she said. I told her where I was, and a minute later she came screeching up in her car, got out, slammed her door, and stalked up to Bob demanding, “What happened?” my roommate is tall, and full of the intimidating confidence that comes from being the only girl in the PhD program while she was in classes, and she lifts weights. Bob cowered. I sat back and let her berate him. when he had cringingly handed over his insurance information, my roommate and I got into her car. “How do you feel?” she asked me. “Like I’ve been hit by a car,” I said. we both laughed. “I’m gonna stress-cry now,” I said, and promptly did so.

“I bet Specific Other Roommate cries,” my roommate said, after we’d gotten home and she’d called one of her doctor friends on speakerphone, and also the police. “She wasn’t even there, and I’m fine,” I said. Specific Other Roommate, when she got home from work and was told what had happened, first screamed, and then cried. I did not make fajitas. we ordered Greek food, and ate it while watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which I had never seen before.

I bruised extensively, and was extremely stiff for about a week. my road rash was not fun. I did not go to the doctor. I did tell the story all throughout Christmas when I would normally have been trying to make doctoral studies sound interesting and approachable. I did manage to get out of doing any chores while I was home for the holidays. and I did act as bridesmaid and cantor for a friend’s wedding while I was still visibly bruised and abraded.

and that, my dear, is the lore.

#in which cate tells stories

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pzfr · 1 year

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The Mighty Crusaders (2017) Inspired RP Sentence Starters

[ As written by Ian Flynn for Archie Comics. Feel free to edit for pronouns/etc. ]

"Make me, ya little ginger mouse!"

"Your skin may be steel, but I'll still rip your guts out!"

"Did you know I'm fireproof too?"

"C'mon! Blast this thing in half."

"Throat... lungs... on fire... can't breathe... see..."

"Pretty sure I felt his windpipe crunch in my grip. Lemme put him out of his misery."

"You hit like a truck, lady..."

"Let's see how hard you hit AFTER I TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF!"

"I won't promise he'll get there in one piece!"

"Bright sun. No clouds. Makes shadow-bending impossible out in the open."

"I'll say! The cameras are rolling, people!"

"I emailed everyone today's schedules, [NAME]. we're in the middle of--"

"Fine. I still need approval on these. Could you save us both two hours and give me a 'yes'?"

"Sign off on everything but the budget. Accounting is pissing me off."

"I can't lead this team if you're going to keep changing the roster without my input."

"I'd be more sympathetic if you were leading the team."

"Instead, you've been diving head-long into every operation on your own, leaving the others scrambling to catch up."

"I'm used to running solo. Making us into a team-- a brand-- was your idea."

"A brute like that, or whatever it was, should have been handled in minutes."

"I've got one teammate getting his throat rebuilt and a last-second rescue to spin as a grand homecoming!"

"Oh, he's very respectful. And I do value his experience. Just not all the time."

"So they've got a bond I can't share."

"And now they've returned to bring their brilliance and... their unique brand of humor to a team wound tight."

"You put the team together before there was such a thing as 'super heroes.' I can't even follow your template."

"We probably spent about as much time fighting each other as we did the big bad's cronies."

"Even if we weren't all friends, we had each other's respect."

"Learn to trust your team, and teach them to trust you."

"Please! Come on in, boss-lady!"

"I went off the grid for a bit."

"Something had to give, and my anime figures were the weakest link."

"Get you a drink? I've got water on tap."

"Oh man! Fancy glasses. We didn't have these at the old place."

"That's the thing I wasn't entirely... welcoming when you showed up."

"You came out of retirement swinging, and were crucial to today's victory."

"*Sniff* The old man never said anything like that. I'm going to like working for you."

"Here's to rocky starts and fresh beginnings."

"That's the unglamorous side of super hero life."

"Nobody asks how our powers affect our hygiene."

"I... I dunno, man. I think the pressure of keeping everything in order-- the team, myself-- was like a tension bandage on my soul."

"We're all here because we want to fight the battles no one else can."

"By your logic, none of us were qualified when we started."

"Aside from that, she's powerful... and creepy."

"Then hold nothing back. Scream as you die."

"Terror adds a special power to the blood."

"I needed that. I haven't laughed like that in... um..."

"Yeah, the well-being of my friends is kinda important to me."

"She's been as subtle as a brick through a window, but she's right."

"You talk about my inexperience as a leader, but you don't give me any time to learn."

"I prefer the direct approach. So if you've got a problem, I want you to come to me. Or come AT me. Whatever. I can handle it."

"Either we talk it out or fight it out. But no more of this gossiping behind our backs."

"We're five minutes outside the drop zone. Are you ready to go?"

"Oh, man. We never did anything like this in the old days."

"The first one is always the worst. I'm sure you'll be fine, though."

"The people need to see us as much as they need us punching bad guys."

"Unbridled adoration is nice."

"*Snrk!* I'll give you some pointers."

"Thank you for gathering all in one place. It will make killing you all the more efficient."

"Seems like my life's been ruled by violence. A lot of it was from fighting for the greater good."

"I remember you bein' in the movies, y'know. You could be livin' in L.A., cashing royalty checks."

"Me? I ain't got options. This is all I know-- all I can do."

"So it's your own damn fault you die here today."

"Must be residual magnetic effects. It'll wear off in a minute."

"Hmm. Don't play the tough guy. If you're wounded, get off the battlefield and look after the civilians."

"You wake me into a nightmare. All I strove to do in my life-- wasted."

"The misbegotten human race have taken control of my world."

"Dunno what those aliens made your gear out of, but it's something ferrous!"

"I remember when they sprung us out of jail."

"I was aiming for somewhere non-vital."

"He's insulting you, dumbass. Like you needed any more reason to kill him."

"Hmph... not my most elegant work, but I have been effective today."

"You aren't strong enough to hold me. Just let me out, and I'll let this slide."

"I'd ask what you're doing to them, but I don't think I wanna know."

"It's bad, but I'm standing. Can't concentrate to fly. Just shoot. You?"

"Relived the first time I died about twenty times. Shaken."

"Maybe... Maybe I can still catch 'em if..."

"YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS! YOU ARE MY AVATAR! YOU DO NOT WEEP FOR THE DEAD! YOU ADD TO THE PILE IN MY GLORIOUS NAME!"

"I was back! In the trenches! I could hear them! I could smell them! Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god..."

"Look... I'm lousy at this sort of thing, and you strike me as the type who prefers being more direct."

"I'm sorry. I didn't trust you. I was even a little afraid of you. But you saved our asses."

"You're right. You are lousy at this. But thanks, jerk."

"It's mostly awkward silence where I'm useless and you vent on occasion, but sure, 'talking'."

"I'm still... unpacking it, honestly. It's got me messed up and confused. It's... hard to talk about."

"Yeah, sure, be good... whatever-your-name-was."

"I've been in the hospital twice this week. I was tired of it the first time."

"Well, stop being such a badass and taking on entire supervillain teams by yourself."

"I became a liability. I'm no good to anyone like this."

#RP Meme #Sentence Starters #Dialogue Starters #Ask Meme #Superhero RP #Supervillain RP #DC Comics RP #Marvel Comics RP

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tonystarkssnipples · 4 years

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Y'all remember the frog in Tom Holland's mouth?

#i randomly remembered this #and 2017 came back and hit me like a truck #it was a simpler time #tom holland #peter parker #spiderman #spider man #spider-man #spiderman homecoming #spiderman: homecoming #spiderman far from home #spiderman: far from home #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #infinity saga #avengers #the avengers

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kittlesandbugs · 2 years

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Writing has good times and bad times.

Just for fun, let’s check out my AO3 stats from 2017-2021. This is not to brag or drag anyone or anything, this is five years of statistics to make a point.

So let’s talk about those five years.

Wow! 84000 words! I had no idea I’d written that much total. That’s cool! Is it a lot compared to other people? I have no fucking clue and I’m not gonna sweat it because that way lies madness. Anyway. Averaging over 5 years, that would be about 16,800 words a year, right?

That is so not what happened.

So based on say 17k words average, this was a very good year for me! I started a new job in Japan! I was trapped in a teacher’s lounge for anywhere from 2-5 hours a day, depending on class load. I had to entertain myself somehow. Fresh into Dragon Age Inquisition and Mass Effect Andromeda came out, I had lots of inspo to play with and some new pals encouraging me. Good year!

Honestly, if you asked what I thought before I looked at this, I would have switched 2018 and 2019 in my head. I was still in Japan, still spending a ridic amount of time in the teacher’s lounge. Based on my google docs, I wrote a lot more than I published. And that’s fine! You don’t have to publish everything! Artists don’t publish every doodle that hits the paper. I don’t remember this being a good or bad year by any means, but writing apparently was not the focus.

See, I was surprised by how high this one was. It almost hit the average. I came back from Japan, and there was a lot going on with job hunting and my dad being sick with cancer/major surgery (he’s okay now), mentally I would’ve pegged this a bad writing year. But I got back into Dragon Age 2 and made some new friends that were into it. I never wrote fanfic for it before because I didn’t have friends who encouraged me to develop my OCs back in like IDK 2013? Who the fuck knows. Make friends! They help! And you may have a better year than you were expecting!

2020 sucked for everyone but God Did I Not Want To Write At All. I published some really old shit and wrote one little thing for a gift exchange and that was it. Did I not like that I wasn’t writing? Yeah, mostly from a frustration point because my friends were writing tons. But I did my best not to let myself get too down about it. Because it’s cyclical. It needed to lie fallow for a bit.

Because guess fucking what?

Here we are in 2021, apparently the greatest writing year of my life. Job hasn’t been too terrible, it’s not brain intensive most days, and I had a lot of downtime to write. Got some fresh inspo getting into interactive fiction, starting with TWC, ending with FHR (which apparently has latched onto my goddamn brain like a leech, we may be here a while.), made a fuckton of new friends who encouraged me to develop my dumb possum child, and well, as far as professional development this has been a bit of a dud year but as far as writing? Fab, couldn’t be better lol.

But anyway, the point of all this is: sometimes the words are gonna happen great, and sometimes it’s going to fucking suck and everything is terrible. Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes it doesn’t. The pipes clog and the unclog. I can’t tell you what’ll get your pipes unclogged and new shit happening. Sometimes it’ll be a new fandom. Sometimes it’ll be an old fandom you’re revisiting. Sometimes you’ll make the right friends and the inspo will generate itself just through chatting. Sometimes you just gotta keep trucking and hope the pipe unclogs itself.

It will eventually unclog, I promise. You just gotta get through it.

Your worth is not determined by how many words you write or the quantity of feedback you get. Keep on keeping on, and keep being awesome in the meantime.

Maybe 2022 will be your year.

#rambling? as if #i know a lot of people are down about their productivity #writing or drawing or anything #with all the wrap ups floating around #don't compare yourself to others #your life isn't their life #your productivity won't be theirs either #your worth is determined by the kind of person you are #not by how much you produce #get the capitalism out of your brain #and keep on keeping on #it'll get better #if it's been a bad year #it always does #hope this is helpful lol #you can reblog it

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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years

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The Great Eight

[ In lieu of the Rising event ending tomorrow - and myself, just now finishing it - I had some words I wanted to get out.

I get this type of nostalgia - it hurts, it physically hurts my chest; I feel sick to my stomach, and I just want to cry. I’ve asked others if they ever feel this way, but I’ve never gotten a yes to it.

The Rising always gives me this feeling. It’s be eight years since I first picked up XIV. Eight whole years. That’s a slap to the face, it’s been so long and it feels so short. I wish I could give people the same experiences and feeling I had for this game - the pain and happiness this nostalgia brings me. When I say this game means so much to me, it’s not an exaggeration. This game changed my life - I wish to share it a little bit with you. I touched on some of it in the past, but here I’m laying it all out. ]

[ I first started playing in 2013, when a friend recommended the game to me shortly after the game’s rerelease. They were ecstatic to have another player join them, and I owe them a lot for the experiences they gave me. My very first character was Raramlah Ramlah - she was a paladin, because that’s what I mained in WoW. I realized shortly that a tank probably wasn’t the best way to go, but also that my computer at the time couldn’t handle playing it, due to the graphics.

I gave it another shot in 2014, that’s when I made Danny Harold. He was the first character I ever got to level 50. I absolutely loved the game, when I wasn’t sitting idly for my friends to come online as I had with Raramlah; when I picked it up of my own accord. I remember I was in the hospital when I first picked it back up, when I first made him and leveled him through Gridania. But I was still going intermittedly between it and WoW. I missed the first Rising due to ignorance.

2015 comes around, and I’m in a stressful place. I just started a new job, and I’m finally able to live on my own with little issues from my disabilites. However, my apartment complex didn’t have internet, and so I’d take my laptop to Starbucks and sit there until they closed playing WoW instead. I wanted to spend what little time I had on the internet with the friends I already had grown close to. Year 2 went on without me. But it still wasn’t all bad. Near the end of 2015, Maximiloix Voilinaut was created - and when I started up my XIV tumblr account under “ishgardianscholar”. See, I had made it to Heavensward on Danny when I found out that someone I had met through a friend was starting up a new character for the purpose of RP. I thought to myself “I want an Ishgardian character” - and rolled a new one. It was a new adventure, a clean slate, with a couple of friends I knew from WoW to join me.

Here comes 2016... and WoW had let me down. My disabilites came back full force, and I was left bed bound and reliant on partial disability from my workplace while waiting for SSDI to start kicking into effect. My roommates did little to help take care of the house we were renting, lied to me about their incomes, and forced me to use what little money I was getting to pay for everything myself. I’m short a total of 2000$ because of it. But. But. That was the best year of my fucking life. It ruined me, that year ruined my life, but it was the happiest I had ever been. Lothaire Voilinaut was first conceived and Maximiloix became my pride and joy as a character, I found the class I wanted to keep playing - I made friends, so many of them! So, so many of them! And I loved them, and I still do! I miss them terribly. If I could relive one year of my life... it would be that year. What I would give just to feel that way again - because I had never felt it since. I didn’t realize until Year 3′s Rising came around, how nostalgic just the few short times and experiences were to me. Because I was met with two things... the first song that truly captured me in Final Fantasy games (Prelude), and the first song I ever heard in the game itself (A New Hope). I cried there. Music has always hit me so hard, and I never realized just how much this game meant to me until then. This was how I knew I would stay - that XIV had my heart for good.

2017, during the release of Stormblood, I went homeless. I had wanted so badly to see my first expansion release - and only witnessed second hand “Raubahn EX”. My friends moved on without me, and I was left alone again to start playing. But I told myself already. XIV had my heart, there was no reason to go back to WoW. So I didn’t. I didn’t, and I don’t regret it. This is when I truly started playing Lothaire fully - and when I met my spouse, he became my main. I made it to Year 4, and cried just as much.

2018 - with the loss of friends, did I find new ones. It wasn’t the best time of my life, but I wouldn’t trade the memories for a thing. Year 5 came and went faster than I could blink, but that was it. I heard the music, I remembered my first Rising, I remembered all the times I had before. And I cried.

2019 started off rough. I moved across the country and had a hard time finding a place to live. I got it down, started a new job... and made it to the release of Shadowbringers. I had grown so much since I first started - and the expansion release was everything I wanted it to be, regardless of the issues that came with it (though I’ve been told that it was a far smoother release than the others). I was so excited... and I was not let down. XIV upheld its standards and presented to me a game worthy of pushing onto my friends no matter how annoyed they got with me about it (looking at you @rose-color-boy). Everything about it was a pure masterpiece, people think I’m exaggerating. But this game had done so much for me, that finally, now, I got to witness something I always wanted to. Sure, I didn’t have many friends to start the expansion with... but the story captivated me immediately. Year 6... and I cried.

2020. There wasn’t much to say about it, I was stuck inside all year and I hit a bad patch during the end of it, but... Year 7. It hit me like a truck. It gave me goosebumps, it gave me laughs, and ultimately, it gave me tears. I actually sobbed, this time. Remembering everything I gone through hurt me so badly, the nostalgia was coming in hard. But I knew, in the end, this game would always be here for me. This game had wormed its way into my heart accidentally, and yet I feel like I couldn’t live without it.

This year. Perhaps it didn’t hit me as hard - I still cried. This game means so much to me. So, so much. It hurts, it really and physically hurts how much it means to me. This game made everything in my stressful life so much easier, littered the pain with good memories. I can recall bad places I was in, and associate it with something good that happened to me in the game. 2020 - I got knee surgery... but 5.3 had just released and holy shit. My spouse got a little annoyed at me that the only thing I was listening to was the theme of that last battle (To the Edge). It helped me get through it, the pain and the misery I felt from not being able to walk. 2019 - Work was driving my depression in deep, and I didn’t want to live and continue the pain I was feeling... but I got to the end of 5.0 and only wanted more. I wanted to know what happened next. I still remember that one cutscene, how they got me attached to a minor character so quickly and ripped her away just as fast; and the first dungeon? Experiencing the Trust System, and going through this intense battle on a grand scale with the help of the friends they kept on the sidelines for so long. 2018 - My life was monotonous and I had three other people living with me in my one-bedroom apartment. One of my roommate’s ex’s was now stalking him around my apartment, and work was becoming physically taxing on my legs. But I remember how much fun I had doing maps - and the release of the Tsukuyomi fight? That whole scene there? Oh, wow, it was so bittersweet. The fight was beautiful, the music was haunting, everything about it. Not to mention the ending solo-instances and Ghymlit? The Burn? Omega? The Four Lords? As much as I disliked them (due to my computer issues), even Rabanastre was memorable. 2017 - I was homeless, forced to work a job my body couldn’t handle. I met my spouse, though. I became heavily invested with my tumblr account, doing a full re-write of it all. While I wasn’t much of a fan of the expansion itself, there were some places that really opened my eyes. Azim Steppes? So beautiful - and gotta hand Y’shtola the award for sickest burn. Then I heard my favorite piece of music, and the most nostalgic for me when it comes to SB, Skalla’s theme (Far From Home).

Lastly, I know this has been long. But I thank everyone around me for being so supportive and kind - I may not be in a good place, but know that every good thing that happens will be associated to this moment. I’ll look back on Year 8 and go “my security was compromised, and my anxiety ran high, but there were these people here who supported me on tumblr, that kept my blog running strong”. I will remember my roleplays, I will remember the music and scenery - even now, I’m getting nostalgic about Shadowbringers, and Endwalker hasn’t even come out yet! So thank you. Here’s to year number 8 - 8 whole years of XIV being in my life. It may not have been that long for many of you, some of you, this might be your first year; hell! Some of you, it’s been longer! But know that this community has helped me so much, and I can’t wait to continue being a part of it. Here’s to the eventual tears Year 9 will bring me! ]

#ooc #ffxiv #the rising #sorry for the long post #but there were so many feelings i had to get out before i wrote my prompt #tl;dr #i love you all and thank you for making my experiences with this game the best thing to ever happen to me #thank you for making this game mean so much to me

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hiharu · 2 years

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Call Me By Your Name Movie Adaptation

Genre: Romance, Fiction Year: 2007/2017

These are the differences that I came across from the book and the movie:

Almost the whole part in chapter 3 is missing because in the movie, when they went to Rome, their life revolves to one another only.

Oliver came back, maybe he’ll come back too if there’s a sequel.

Oliver talked about the wedding in personal unlike in the movie, it’s on the phone.

When they were on the phone, Oliver didn’t call him by his name in the book but in the movie he called him by his name.

The “I’ve remembered everything” part is said personal in the book while in the movie, it’s said over the phone.

REVIEW The film gives justice to the book! The words said by the characters were almost the same dialogues that was written in the book; the vibe and aura –perfect. To understand more the movie, you should have read first the book to understand Elio’s thoughts, and to picturize the book, you should watch the movie. They adapted it real nicely except when removing almost the whole part of Chapter 3, but their rendezvous is still there. The focus of the film is just the two of them. I am not a big fan of an age gap thingy but this hurts like shit. I longed for the affection between the two of them. I just want my Elio to be happy. Truth be told, after I've recapped the film after finishing the book, I think that there would be no second movie. The ive-remembered-everything-part is in the last scene of the movie and it really hurts like being hit by a ten-wheeler truck. I don't know what to write anymore, I don't think I can move on from this, I needed a happy ending, just please.

Personal Rating: 4.5/5 —Almost.

#book to movie #book to movie review #movie adaptation #call me by your name

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bts-trans · 4 years

Text

200917 BigHit’s Tweet

[네이버 포스트] 왜요? 우리가 빌보드 1위 가수 방탄소년단처럼 보이나요? ‘#방림이’가 전하는 따끈따끈한 첫 소식! 지금 바로 놀러 오세요! (@ https://m.post.naver.com/viewer/postView.nhn?volumeNo=29474347&memberNo=51325039…) #BTS #방탄소년단

[Naver Post] What? Do we look like Billboard Number 1 Artists BTS? The first piece of hot news from #Bangbell! Click right now! (@ https://t.co/KCLbyi7d0t) #BTS

Naver Post Translation

Keep reading for a plain text version of the blog post! For a picture edit version, please check out our twitter post!

Title: [BTS] 왜요? 우리가 빌보드 1위 가수 방탄소년단처럼 보이나요?

[BTS] What? Do we look like Billboard Number 1 Artists BTS?

여러분 안녕하세요~?! 네이버 포스트를 통해 처음 인사드립니다! (두근) 제 이름은 방림이, ‘방탄소년단 콘텐츠 소식 알림이’라는 뜻이죠! 앞으로 여러분들에게 방탄소년단의 다양한 콘텐츠를 띠링띠링! 알려드리도록 하겠습니다 ^ㅇ^

Hello everyone! I’m using Naver Post to say hi for the first time! (Excited) I’m Bangbell, which stands for ‘Bangtan content news notification Bell’*! I will be ping!ping! pinging you with news about various BTS content. ^ㅇ^

(T/N: *The Korean name 방림 consists of 방/Bang from 'Bangtan' and 림/Lim from 알림, which refers to a notification bell/alarm.)

자 그럼, 오늘 방림이가 가져온 첫 번째 콘텐츠 소식은! (두구 두구…) 바로! 바로바로!

Okay then, the first content news I’m bringing you today is! (drum roll…) It’s! It is!

…

........... ……

……………………

…

………

바로! (feat. 적당히 해야지) (박수와 함성)

It’s! (feat. don’t overdo it) (cheers and applause)

“

아~ 이 친구들 빌보드 핫 100차트 1위 한 친구들 아니에요~?

“

Ah~ Aren’t these the guys who got #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart~?

“

(T/N: Reference to an interview clip where a Korean grandpa is able to name all the members of BTS. His passionate answer quickly went viral.)

맞습니다! 빌보드 핫 100차트! 1위! 가수에 빛나는 방탄소년단 분들을 모셨습니다!

That’s right! Billboard Hot 100 Chart! Number 1! Artists! The brilliant BTS have come together!

네이버 포스트 오픈 축하 기념! 빌보드 핫 100차트 1위 기념사진인데요! 방림이가 여러분들에게 빨리 보여드리고 싶어서 냉큼 가져왔답니다!

To celebrate! the beginning of Naver Posts, this is a Billboard Hot 100 Chart Number 1 commemoration picture! I wanted to show it to you as soon as I could and so I dashed here with it!

(Sash translation: Billboard Hot 100 Number 1 Artist Kim Namjoon/Min Yoongi/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin/Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok)

A-yo! 우리가 누구? 비-티엣스!

Who are we? B-T-S*!

(T/N: *A reference to Jimin saying "A-yo! Who am I?" during 'The Red Bullet' concert in 2014. The members often refer to it as a joke.)

? ? ???? 방림이~ 장난 그만 치고 방탄소년단 사진 제대로 보여주세요..~^^ 앞모습 보고 싶단 말이에요. 이렇게 참는 나 제법 젠틀 해요.

? ? ???? BangBell~ Stop playing around and just show us the BTS pictures please..~^^ We really want to see how they look from the front. We’re holding back and being pretty gentle right now.

ㅎ..회..ㅇㅜㅓㄴ…앗! 첫 타자는 RM입니다! 왜요…? 우리가 빌보드 핫 백 1위 가수처럼 보이나요?

H..hwe w o n* ... Ah! First up to bat is RM! What...? Do we look like Billboard Hot 100 Artists**?

(T/N: *회원님/Hwewon literally translates to 'member' and in this case refers to a gym member.) **This is in ref to a meme that became popular among K-Armys after the release of the Ask Anything Chat with BTS on 6/9/20. RM's bulky arms prompted K-Armys to start a running joke about him looking like a personal trainer. The memes usually has RM, in the role of a personal trainer, saying something to the person he is training.)

빌보드 핫 백 1위 가수 비티엣스 김남준! 본새 난다!

Billboard Hot 100 Artist BTS Kim Namjoon! Looking good!

앗! 진의 넓은 어깨를 감당하지 못하고 흘러내려 버린 어깨띠? Hoxy… 잘생김에 놀라 흘러내린 건 아닐까? 쿡ㅋ 어깨띠 녀석 호강하네… ^ㅡ^

Ah! The shoulder sash that couldn’t handle Jin’s broad shoulders? Hoxy*... Did you fall off because you were shocked at his good looks? Shoulder sash, you little punk, you’re living the good life... ^ㅡ^

(T/N: 'hoxy' is internet slang meaning 'perhaps' or 'could it be?'. It is the Korean word for 'perhaps'/'could it be', 혹시 spelt out in English.)

저 좀 피곤한데 어깨에서 잠시 쉬었다 가도 될까요?

I’m a little tired, could I rest on your shoulders for a little while?

엥? 사진만 봤는데 아이스크림 한 트럭 먹은 거 같은 이 기분 뭐예요? ㄴ 저기요. 아이스크림 한 트럭 먹으면 배탈 나요. ㄴ 조용히 하세요. 아……… 달다.

Oh? What is this feeling, I feel like I’ve been hit by a whole truckful of ice cream just by looking at this photo? ㄴ Excuse me. If you eat a truckful of ice cream, you’re gonna get a stomachache. ㄴ Be quiet. Ah……… How sweet.

쁘띠 한 손이 포인트!

The little petite hand is the key point!

“정호석 잘생겼다…” “그만 말해.” “뭐?” “정호석 잘 생긴 거 다 아니까 그만 말하라고.” “그거 어떻게 하는 건데.”

“Jung Hoseok is good looking...” “Stop saying that.” “What?” “Everyone knows Jung Hoseok is good looking, so stop saying that.” “How do you expect me to do that?”

이번 겨울에는 제이홉 콧대에서 스키 타야지! 같이 탈 아미들 구함 (0/20200901)

This winter, let’s go skiing on J-Hope’s nose bridge! Looking for ARMYs who’d like to go together (0/20200901)

그거 알아요? 볼 콕이 제일 잘 어울리는 사람 1위는 바로 지민이에요. 출처 : 우리 집

Did you know? The person who suits the cheek poke the most is Jimin. Source: My House

(저 보x보x는 뭐야…? 애인인가 봐.. 곁을 떠나질 않네….) #JIMIM (출처: BTS 트위터)

(Who’s that BonoBono*...? It must be his lover.. It won’t leave their sides....) #JIMIM (Source: BTS twitter)

(T/N: *Bonobono is a popular kids animation character. He is the blue sea otter visible on the members' sashes.)

[속보] 루브르 박물관에 전시되어 있던 명화 실사화… “충격”

[Breaking News] Famous artwork displayed at the Louvre comes to life… “Shocking”

뒤통수도 잘생겼다? 오래 봤으니까 조금 바꿔 볼게요. 결론 : 옆모습도 잘생겼다.

Even the back of his head is good-looking? We’ve been looking at it for a while so I’ll change things up a little. Conclusion: Even his side profile is good-looking.

왜 인지는 모르겠지만 방림이는 지금 이 문장이 떠오릅니다. 기쁜데헹….. 코마워용….

I’m not sure why, but this sentence suddenly comes to mind, “I’m happy but..... Thankiew....”

(T/N: A reference to something Jungkook said during the Wings Tour Final in 2017. He was in the midst of tearfully starting his ending comments when a fan shouted out from the audience that Jungkook was good-looking, causing him to thank her in the middle what he was saying. )

정구기는 코마워서 운 건데 울보라고 하면 서운하지.

Jungkook cried because he was thankful, so if you call him a crybaby he’ll be sad.

아차차, 단체사진이 뒷모습만 있어서 아쉬웠다고요?! 더 보고 싶다고요?! 사진이 부족하다고요?!

Oh no, you’re sad because the group picture had only their side profiles? You want to see more?! There weren’t enough group pictures?!

방림이는 바보야… 아미들 기쁘게 할 생각만 하는 바보…. 비티엣스 단체사진! 지금 바로 공개합니다!

Bangbell is a fool...a fool who only thinks about making ARMYs happy… BTS group picture! Here you go!

이… 이게 바로 핫 100 차트 1위 가수들의 멋짐, 인가?

Is...is this the glory of the Hot 100 Chart Number 1 Artists?

진짜_a_yo_우리가_누구_사진.jpg

A_Really_a_yo_Who_Are_We_Picture.jpg

방림이의 두근두근 첫 번째 포스트 모두 잘 보셨나요?! 방림이는 떨려서 포스트가 어떻게 지나갔는지도 모르겠어요! 저는 그럼 이만 다음 포스트ㅇ…. 네? 뭔가 빼먹은 게 있는 것 같다고요?

Did everyone have a good time reading Bangbell’s exciting first post?! I was so excited I didn’t even realise how the post came to an end! Okay then I shall get going and see you with the next post… I’m sorry? It feels like there’s something missing, you say?

흠 잠수

Hmm (REST)*

(T/N: *The literal meaning of 잠수/jamsu means to be submerged under water, but is also used as slang for when someone goes offline to avoid conversation. Similar to how (rest) is used on twitter for comedic effect.)

당! 연! 히! 네이버 포스트를 봐주시는 모든 분들께 방림이가 잊지 않고 자그마한 선물을 들고 왔죠~! 저장. 눌러요.

Of! Course! I didn’t forget, I’ve gotten a tiny present for all the people who read this Naver Post! Click. Save.

진짜_진짜_끝.post 방림이는 다음에 또 다른 콘텐츠를 알리러 찾아오도록 할게요. 봐주신 분들 감사합니다!

Really_Really_The_End.post I will be back next time with news about more content! Thank you to everyone who read this!

그럼 이만! 아-뿅! (아미 바이! 뿅!이라는 뜻)

Okay, that’s it! A-Poof! (It means Bye ARMY! Poof!)

[Note]

본 포스트는 빅히트 엔터테인먼트에서 직접 운영하는 포스트입니다.

This Naver Post account is personally run by Big Hit Entertainment.

* 위버스에서 포스트 즐기기 *

* Enjoy the post on Weverse *

(https://weverse.onelink.me/qt3S/de0ec06c)

[End note]

Trans cr; Aditi & Faith @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

#200917 #ot7 #bighit #official #twitter #naver #blog post #bangbell #photo #dynamite hot 100 #bts #bangtan

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pcttrailsidereader · 3 years

Text

A Visual Compendium

Excerpted from the Seattle Times Pacific Northwest Magazine, March 7, 2021

By Joshua Powell

Hiker Haven

IN 2003, JERRY Dinsmore invited three thru-hikers back to his home, thinking they were homeless and in need of help. He soon learned they were hiking the PCT, and Hiker Haven was born. Jerry and his wife, Andrea, hosted hikers every year after that and became particularly adept at helping northbound hikers make wise decisions regarding the potentially dangerous weather north of Stevens Pass.

When I visited in 2014, plastic pink flamingos adorned the yard. Andrea’s license plate read, “PCT MOM,” and next to it was a bumper sticker that stated, “Hug a logger. You’ll never go back to trees.” Hikers did their laundry and wandered about in borrowed clothing. One woman wore a tiny dress, revealing a smattering of tattoos. A male hiker donned a dress as well, the hair on his shoulders and back sticking out in large patches. A German hiker joked in his thick accent, “You look silly … but sexy.”

Jerry Dinsmore, clad in suspenders and a vintage Kenworth Trucks shirt, pulled up a chair alongside me, and we sat and watched as a train rolled past, loaded down with airplanes en route to the Boeing facility near Seattle. They were only fuselages, devoid of their wings.

“There’s a tunnel a few miles back with a pile of wings next to the entrance,” he joked.

Another thru-hiker, fresh from Stevens Pass, was dropped off in the driveway. Andrea greeted him, reaching out her arm to shake hands. He instinctively stuck out his closed hand, offering the customary thru-hiker fist bump.

“Oh, that’s not gonna go over well,” Jerry said, laughing.

The PCT community lost a very special member with the passing of Andrea in 2017. Jerry still welcomes hikers to his home in Baring.

Glacier Peak Wilderness

THE SURROUNDING RIDGES are carpeted in luminous green meadows lit up by the morning sun. The sky is free of haze, and the surrounding mountains are crystal clear as far as the eye can see. Rainier still reveals itself from time to time, peeking over southern ridges. Marmots whistle from the berry bushes, their heads protruding from the leaves like periscopes as they scan their surroundings. The trail at times crosses over snowfields and then past small Mica Lake, which still harbors floating ice. With September drawing near, the ice is unlikely to melt before the snow once again begins to fall — it has been victorious in its resistance to summer.

Glacier Peak seems to be Washington’s forgotten volcano — due in part to its location within a large, roadless wilderness area. From surrounding areas, there are fewer dramatic views of the mountain than there are of Adams, Rainier or Baker. It tends to blend in with the tall, jagged peaks surrounding it. The thru-hiker, however, gets to know the volcano intimately as the PCT skirts along its base and crosses the creeks draining its slopes, gaining and losing thousands of feet of elevation in the process.

The Big 5 Washington volcanoes visible from the PCT

Stehekin

FROM SUIATTLE PASS, the landscape seems to gradually tilt downward toward the horizon, and hikers can look forward to a descent all the way to Stehekin, the final trail town of the PCT — famous in thru-hiker lore for its bakery. It sits secluded at the northern tip of Lake Chelan, accessible only by boat, plane or hiking trail. To say that it’s remote is an understatement.

The PCT brings hikers to the end of the single road that leads into town. From there they can get on the National Park Service shuttle or perhaps catch a ride with a local fisherman. Stehekin is small and compact, with an idyllic location amid the lake and mountains. All the vehicles parked at the ferry landing seem at least four or five decades old, only adding to the feeling that time stands still in this lakeside town.

Hikers can set up for the night in a tiny campground perched on a miniature bluff above the water, watching brightly colored float planes land upon the lake’s surface and skim to a halt. When night falls, the view of the Milky Way is breathtaking. Stehekin translates to “the way through,” an appropriate name for a trail town on a thru-hike.

Stehekin’s main road curves around the marshy northernmost tip of Lake Chelan, where the Little Boulder Creek empties into the lake. It is the extreme end of a 50-mile body of water that narrowly snakes through the mountains down to the dry and sun-baked wine country of Central Washington, so drastically different from the often-overcast and rainy North Cascades.

An old Chevy pickup passes by on the road. Owned by the Stehekin Pastry Company, it is on its way down to the boat landing. A girl and dog sit atop the wooden flatbed of the truck. Farther down the road is a beautiful garden full of cabbage, kale and other produce. A row of dahlias lines a pathway, the intricately geometrical puffs of each flower leading the way toward an apiary buzzing with honey bees. On a bench rests a pile of rainbow chard, the leaves bright green and glossy and the stems neatly arranged in shifting hues of orange, yellow and purple.

The bakery truck passes again, headed back in the other direction. This time, the girl sits in the passenger seat, and the flatbed is piled high with boxes and goods that have been boated in. The little dog is positioned atop the huge pile with his chest puffed out, standing guard over his precious cargo.

Epilogue

AS YOU HIKE mile after mile across three states, you imagine that final moment of reaching the border to be an overwhelming experience, assuming the gravity of it will hit you like a ton of bricks. In reality, however, when you’ve lived out every month and week and day and hour and minute and second that transpires between Mexico and Canada, it’s not quite as dramatic as you might expect.

There was no surprise in the end, but the sense of accomplishment was hardly diminished. And with it came the realization that it was all over, and I was headed back to real life, full of its own unique joys and difficulties. I couldn’t stay on the trail forever, nor did I wish to. I simply hoped to find the next big thing to work toward, the next passion that would consume me from waking until bedtime.

#Glacier Peak #Stevens Pass #Dnismores #Hiker Haven #Stehekin

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 10 Part 12

Part 11

The next few days were monotonous. Most mornings, I would go to the gym. Then I'd head off to work. After work, I'd take Perrin for a walk. We stopped at the dog park a few times to throw the ball. Then I'd go home and read or watch tv. After dinner, I would FaceTime Liam before falling asleep.

Although I missed him terribly, it had been good to have some space. I was able to think about us a bit. Liam was always great on the phone, a gentleman even. Yes, he flirted with me and made inappropriate comments, but they were always in context. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him back. But it was nice to get to know him better, and I decided I definitely liked him as a person and a lover. He was sweet, sincere, funny and warm, the same as he was when he was Will. He seemed to accept who I was. There were no digs at me, maybe some friendly ribbing, but it seemed he liked me too. We spent a lot of time laughing. We had a similar sense of humour.

He opened up about some of his past relationships, how he felt about them and what went wrong. A lot of the times, he admitted to fault, especially in the early ones. I talked a bit about Andy but kept a lot back. No doubt, he noticed.

Thursday afternoon changed everything.

Liam called me when I was driving home from work at about four-thirty. It broke with our routine. We usually spoke around nine o'clock. I answered the phone, and Liam's voice came through the speakers.

"Hello, Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I smiled at this now familiar greeting. "Really good, Liam. How was yours? Have you finished work already?"

"Yeah, good. I'm supposed to stay for another hour, but I wasn't needed, so I left." Liam paused and said, "Listen, Lana, I have to tell you something."

"Oh, no."

"Yesterday, a parent from your school saw the pictures of us." I went cold. I was 10 minutes from my house, but I pulled over. "She left a message on one of the pictures that you look like a teacher from her kid's school." Oh shit. "Anyway, this morning, you were on duty at the "kiss and drop", whatever that is."

Robotically I said, "it's where the parents drop the kids off at school without getting out of the car." I could see where this is as going.

"Right." He sounded strange but continued. "Well, they took a picture of you, put that side by side with the others. Long story short, Sarah was called to confirm your name."

"Oh, for fucks sake." I was pissed off. "What did she tell them?"

"She said she couldn't confirm or deny."

"In other words, yes, but my boss said, don't say anything."

"That's a bit unfair, Lana. She can't lie to them, or they won't bother calling her when they get a story. They will just run it because they can't trust what she says."

"Fuck this," I said and hung up on Liam.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and spun the tires. I had a Toyota Camry SX. It's sort of sporty, but it's not meant to be driven like that, but I was fuming. Liam rang again, but I ignored it. I backed off and slightly and rounded a corner, tires chirping as I went. I fumbled in my bag, driving one-handed until I found and lit a cigarette. As stupid as it was, I drove the rest of the way home like that.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my Draggin jeans, leather jacket and riding boots. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and went for a ride.

I loved being on the bike. Andy was the first guy I'd been with who rode. I remembered the first time he got me on the bike. He hadn't even let the clutch out, and I screamed and jumped off. The second time was better, and I went around the block before I got off. The third time, I was hooked. I loved holding onto his waist as we rode, my chest pressed against his back, my thighs touching his, my hands under his t-shirt. I loved the heavy thrumming of the bike, the wind whistling past. It was exciting, erotic, but also calming. Calming is what I needed.

I was so angry. Not at Liam or Sarah. Or even the bitch who outed me or the others who put my photo out there in the first place. I didn't know who I was angry with. Hollywood? Gossip? Social media? Myself? Maybe I was mad at myself. I deserved it. I'd turned my back on Andy, fucked another guy, and now I'm in a relationship with him, according to public record. Every time someone googles my name, his will come up.

The parents at school will give me looks, and I won't know what they are thinking. Will they be laughing at me? And if it didn't work out, everyone would know. I would have to go through a break up while everyone watched, picked at it, chose sides and commented.

I rode for about an hour up through the Blue Mountains. When I stopped for petrol at Wentworth Falls, my thoughts had settled, and I was thinking clearer. I stopped at a cafe, got a coffee and checked my phone. Liam had called twice more and sent a few messages. Riza had called and texted me.

I checked Riza's first. It was a link to an article, Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover. Her text simply said, "Jen just found this. Call me if you need me." I didn't click the link.

I checked Liam's. He said he wants to make sure I'm ok. Then he said he wants to come over and talk to me.

I called Liam. He seemed to answer before it even rang. "Sweetheart. Are you ok?" He sounded a bit frantic.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset is one thing. I snapped at you and blamed Sarah. You're right. It's not her fault."

"Lana, don't worry about that. Did you read the article?"

"No."

Liam was quiet a while. Then he said, "Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just needed some time to calm down." I let out a short laugh. "I am a redhead after all. I have a temper."

Liam laughed, "Do I have to be worried about being stabbed in my sleep?"

"Nah, being a redhead wouldn't make me do that. I get that part of me from being a Scorpio."

"I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now."

I smirked, "Why not be both?"

Liam laughed and then got serious. "You sure you're ok? Do you want me to come over? I almost did get in my car when you wouldn't answer."

"Stalker," I teased.

"And that's why I didn't."

"I'm not at home anyway."

"Where are you?"

"I took off on the bike to clear my head. I'm in the mountains right now."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah, the Blue Mountains. Look west tomorrow, and you'll see them."

"I'll do that." Liam paused. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye, Liam."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

I finished my coffee and rode home.

I texted Riza to let her know I was ok. I played with Perrin. I texted my brother to remind him to pick Perrin up tomorrow afternoon. I ate some dinner before packing my bag for tomorrow and went to bed. It was a long time before I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover

"Pictures of Liam Cross, 38, with an unknown female were circulating on social media earlier this week, and tongues were set wagging.

"Users were quick to put their detective hats on and tracked down Cross's new flame late yesterday. The woman was identified as Mrs Alana Walker, 30, Sydneysider, and special education teacher. Not much else is known about Mrs Walker other than she was widowed in 2017. Her husband, Andrew Walker, and father Brian Kelly were killed in a horrific Boxing Day crash when his car was destroyed by a truck driver who had a medical incident behind the wheel.

"Sources close to Cross say that he has been elated the past couple of months, and now they know why. They hope for his sake that this relationship will not be plagued by scandal like his previous relationships.

"For now, Cross's camp is remaining tight-lipped on the situation. While they don't deny a relationship, they will not confirm it.

"Cross is currently in Sydney for an adaptation of the widely popular and romantic fantasy epic Beyond the Stones series by C. W. Taylor. He will co-star alongside Australian Myra Roberts with an expected release in the northern hemisphere winter of 2022."

I woke on Friday morning and laid in bed for a while. I should have gone to the gym, but I just couldn't get my body to move. I wanted to chuck a sickie, blow off the whole day, maybe go for a swim, or just watch movies all day. I had an urge to watch Kill Bill for some reason. But I couldn't do that to the kids.

I knew I was just trying to avoid the parents at school. I'm sure most of them know by now. Gossip runs rampant at the school gate. We've all seen Big Little Lies. Probably all the staff knew too. It was one of those days where I wish I could just press fast forward and get to the part where I see Liam again. I didn't want to miss out on that.

In the end, I got up, showered and got ready for work. I tamed my hair, put on my war paint and dressed in black work pants, ballet flats and a pink knitted cardigan.

I started to pack my bag for the weekend, trying to work out what outfits I needed. I had decided what I wanted to wear for dinner tonight, but I didn't know what to wear to bed. Would I even need anything to wear? I blushed at the thought. I packed a basic set of pyjamas. I added jeans and a couple of t-shirts, a hoodie and my Dr Martens. I put some pretty underwear in there too. I didn't have much, just a white lace set which Liam had already seen and two black lace sets. I packed them all.

My phone beeped, and I got a message from Liam. It was a picture of his face all sweaty from working out. He had his tongue sticking out. He had written, I was going to send you a picture of my cock but thought that was a bit vulgar. So I decided to send you a picture of another part of my body that's going to fuck you tonight. Can't wait x.

My whole body grew hot, my stomach filled with butterflies, and I giggled. I started to reply with 'cheeky bastard', but then I had an idea. I sent him a picture of my face with my mouth open in an O shape, and I rested a finger on the corner of my lower lip. I wrote, I was going to send you a picture of my pussy but thought it was a bit obvious. So I sent you a picture of another part of my body that's going to get fucked tonight. X

Within a minute, I got a reply of: Game on, Sweetheart.

Well, if Liam wants to play a game, I can play a game.

I pulled my pyjamas out of my bag and put in a satin shift, pretty much my only sexy bedclothes. I thought about what other sexy photos I could take and packed a few other things. Then I made my lunch and headed off to work.

I rang Riza on the way to work. She asked me about how I was feeling. I told her I was dealing with it, but I said no more about it. I asked Riza about how she and Jen were going, and she said we would meet up soon.

"I miss you," she said.

"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk soon, ok?"

"Yeah, have a good weekend slut! Tell Liam I said hi."

"Suck a dick Riz."

We hung up, and almost immediately, Dave calls.

He doesn't say hello or anything, just launches in with, "Are you dating Liam Cross?" Fuck. "One of Lucy's friends just sent her an article about you and him."

No use denying it then. "Yeah, I am. He's the one I'm spending the weekend with." I braced for his reply.

"Fuck me dead. My fucking little sister is rooting Liam fucking Cross." His voice didn't sound angry. He sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a big deal. Just don't forget to get Perrin and don't tell Mum."

"Not a big deal? The kids will go crazy when they meet him."

"Dave, we are hardly at the point where we are meeting families."

"Yeah, alright, keep your shirt on."

"I'll come by Sunday arvo to pick Perrin up?"

"Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

I ended the call and got to work not long after that. I went straight to my classroom, trying to avoid everyone. There was one person I couldn't avoid, and that was Marla, my teacher's aide. She was in her late 50s, though, so I thought she would be pretty safe. She didn't mention anything all morning, which was a relief.

At lunchtime, I stayed in the classroom. I told Marla I had some work to do, so she left me alone. I checked my phone and found a message from Liam.

It was a picture of Liam drinking from a bottle of pineapple juice, and it said, Me hydrating for tonight x.

His innuendo made me chuckle, but I had planned for something like this. I took a selfie of myself with a banana in my mouth and sent it with the caption: Presumptive much? Me carbo-loading for tonight.

Liam replied a little later with, I can't decide if I'm winning because my pics are better or if I'm still winning because yours are better.

Marla came back into the classroom about halfway through lunch. She pottered around the room, trying to look busy. She kept looking over at me. I felt myself start to panic. She wasn't acting like that this morning. She must know now. They all must know. I started wondering what everyone was saying about me in the staff room. They had probably sent Marla back to the classroom to see what information they could get out of me. The panic receded, and anger filled the void.

Eventually, I lost my temper. "Have you got something to say, Marla?"

Marla had the good grace to look ashamed. "No. Nothing."

I crossed my arms. "What are they saying?"

Marla sighed, "honestly? They're mostly pretty stoked about it. Happy for you."

I let my arms fall. My vision went a bit blurry. "Really?"

Marla came over and leaned against the table, and rubbed my back. "Oh, Darl, yeah, most of us remember what it was like for you. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, but the tears still came. Marla gave me a tissue. "Thanks, Marla." I sniffed, "ugh, the parents, though. I'm not looking forward to that."

Marla smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Darl. I'll fill in for ya this arvo, and you can do my Wednesday lunch duty. How's that?" I thanked her. Relieved, I hugged her and cleaned myself up.

When school had finished, I made a mad dash to the car park. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I'd have to show my face in front of the parents sooner or later, but I decided it was Monday's problem.

I checked my phone before I headed off to Liam's place. He had sent me a shirtless picture of himself with some rope curled up around his shoulder and written, One of my costumes has a rope. It made me think of you. I'm about to leave. See you soon.

Dammit, I couldn't think of a response to that one! I sat and thought about it for ages. I was not about to give in easily. Then it came to me. I got my water bottle and one of my spare undies from my overnight bag. I wet them a bit, put the underwear and water bottle on the bag and took a picture of them both. I wrote. My water bottle leaked in my bag, and my panties got wet. It made me think of you. I'm on my way.

The three circles came up within seconds, and Liam sent, You are in so much trouble, Sweetheart. Park around the back.

And because I can't control my tongue in real life or texts, I wrote back, That's what she said.

I didn't wait for a reply. I just put an audiobook on and drove.

Part 12

#original character #original fiction #romantic story #happy ever after

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withabackpackandcamera · 3 years

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June 30th, 2021

Day 5: A Day in Myvatn… And A Night in Myvatn…

Having a home base in Akureyri the last few days was amazing. It’s always so nice to be able to stay somewhere for more than just a night. You get to spread out, get comfortable, drive less, and not have to keep moving your stuff. So this morning, it was slightly disappointing to have to pack all of our stuff again and pack the car for the long road trip ahead to Seyðisfjörður, where we’d only be staying for a single night before packing up and leaving again. But before leaving Akureyri, the family and I walked downtown to purchase some pastries and baked goods for the road from Kristjan’s Bakari. We briefly walked through downtown and took some photos before we turned back toward the house to grab the car and start our very full travel day.

The first stop on our itinerary for the day was the Myvatn geothermal area, a place I had visited very briefly the last time I drove around the entire Ring Road. We stopped by the pseudocraters at Skútustaðagígar and briefly hiked in to see the windy views from there before driving on and making quick pit stops at the Myvatn Panoramic Viewpoint and Dimmuborgir. At Dimmuborgir, we actually left the car for a short stroll down a paved walkway through the lava rock formations before circling back out to the parking lot to continue our drive.

Next, we accidentally drove out to Hverfjall, an old cone volcano, because the GPS led us there thinking the area was the stop for Grjótagjá, a hot spring cave that is famous for some love/sex scene in Game of Thrones (which I have never seen). But after finding the right location for Grjótagjá, we turned out of the Hverfjall area (without hiking or doing anything memorable) and drove over to the original destination of the hot spring cave. The Grjótagjá cave was a pretty neat area to see. The cave was dark but had lots of little cracks for lights to seep through. The scene created by the incoming streams of light in conjunction with the blue-appearing spring water in the cave was pretty cool. Minh and I spent some time here trying to take photos of the cave but gave up before long as all the photos started to look the same.

As we approached the mountain pass out of the Myvatn area, I took my family over to the Myvatn Nature Baths to give them a brief window tour of the bathing area that I enjoyed with some friends back in 2017. Because we were short on time and no one was particularly excited about paying to jump into a hot spring, we decided to skip soaking in a hot bath this trip and reconsider it again if we had time later on during the trip. But it was a good thing we didn’t bathe today because the wind was crazy and that would’ve made for a subpar bathing experience.

After we left the Myvatn Nature Baths, we made one last geothermal stop at the Námaskarð Geothermal Area, an rotten-egg-smelling area well known for its geothermal activity expressed in the forms of colorful landscapes, bubbling mud, and natural vents of sulfuric gases. Because it was so ridiculously windy and sandy in this area, we didn’t stay for very long. At first, the family wanted to skip the area and move on with our trip given the wind conditions. However, because of the uniqueness of the site, I made a very real effort to get Cynthia and my dad out of the car to quickly view the area. And I was successful in doing so. With the wind howling and throwing sand and dust everywhere, we quickly ran through the area as we shielded ourselves from the violent wind and the sand it was pelting at us. But it was worth it as my dad and Cynthia got a chance to see some very unique sights. It wasn’t long before we ran back into the car to get away from the elements and braced ourselves for the start of the long leg of the day’s travels: the 3.5 hour drive to Seyðisfjörður.

With a big dust storm slowly blowing across the landscape in front of us, we drove for about 10-15 kilometers from Námaskarð before the unthinkable happened. Our car started to go haywire before breaking down completely… in the middle of the road… in the middle of nowhere.

So, let me paint the picture of the situation for you. About 30-60 minutes prior, while driving, I noticed that some random warning lights (namely an A symbol with a circle arrow around it) on my dashboard had started blinking and I couldn’t figure out why that was the case. So after some quick troubleshooting (and not figuring it out), I didn’t think anything of it and continued to drive. Then, after we left the Námaskarð area, I noticed that the engine light had turned on, which is a very, very strange occurrence for a brand new car with just over 2000 kilometers on the odometer. And that was slightly concerning. But after consulting my handy-man dad, we carefully continued our drive.

Until I started hearing not-normal sounds coming from under the hood of my car. Something that sounded like it was not spinning the way it should under the hood of the car. Like, in the engine or something. At this point, I got very concerned. And things only got worse when, in conjunction with the weird spinning sound, I saw more dashboard warning lights start to light up and blink. Not good. That then quickly spiraled into an actively malfunctioning car. First to completely go nonfunctional was the gas pedal. Oh no, not good. Because the gas pedal died while we were cruising at a speed around 70kph, the car just slowly and surely lost its speed as it kept rolling along on the highway. 70…60...50...40...30...20...10… Zero.

At one point, as the car was slowing down due to the road’s friction and its nonoperational gas pedal, I looked out to find a safe gravel turnoff to steer the car into. The first turnoff I noticed was slightly dangerous and not ideal given that it was sloped down from the road into the lower area beside the highway. Wouldn’t want to get a dead car stuck facing downhill. So I pushed our luck and kept waiting, since we still had some momentum left. But eventually, the car died JUST before we reached a safe, spacious gravel turnoff/lot that was a much better option for parking a dead car. Because we didn’t make it there with just our momentum, my dad and brother had to quickly jump out of the car and push the car 20-30 meters while I steered it off the road. Once we were situated in the gravel lot, the car, for the most part, died on us. The engine no longer worked and the steering wheel no longer turned.

But the family and I stayed very calm under these distressing circumstances. Everyone kind of knew what needed to be done. We briefly checked under the hood of the car to see if there was anything we could diagnose. Nope. Then Cynthia quickly called Blue Car Rental with our (luckily strong enough) 3G cell signal to notify them of the situation and get directions on the next steps we should take. All the while, the dust storm in front of us was blowing by and, fortunately, not toward us.

Once the rental company was contacted and our screenshotted location was emailed over to them, all we could do in the car was sit there and wait for a mechanic and tow truck to make their way out to us in the middle of nowhere next to a dust storm. And given combination of the protocol of needing a mechanic to first diagnose the car problem, the lack of a Blue Car Rental office anywhere outside of Reykjavik/Keflavik, and the fact that another car could not quickly be made available to replace our car, we weren’t sure how long it would take to get things resolved so that we could hit the road again. So we sat there. We waited in the car. We briefly spoke with one random passerby who had stopped by to make sure that we were OK. We took some hilarious modeling photos with the car. And we watched the sandstorm blow by.

Then, Martjin the Polish Mechanic came to our rescue! And it was unexpectedly fast! Within about 30 minutes of our initial contact with Blue Car Rental, they were able to get in touch with Martjin, who works/owns a car shop (Six60?) on the edge of Myvatn near the Myvatn Nature Baths and was contracted by the car rental agency to help out in these situations, and send him over with his excessively huge (and fittingly American) Ford truck with a tow bed behind it. It was while I was photographing Minh modeling next to the dead car that we saw the big truck and big, burly mechanic approach.

Once he was out of his car, we introduced ourselves and I explained the situation to him. And the first thing he (basically) told me as he was assessing our red 2021 Kia Sportage was….”This is the fourth car of the same make and model from Blue Car Rental this week alone that I have had to tow for similar reasons.” It was the fourth car that he had towed because the car (a brand new Kia Sportage in all instances) had died all of a sudden despite a full fuel tank, good oil, and with everything else checking out OK on initial investigation.

It was only while he was preparing to tow our car that he received a call from Blue Car with the answer to the car problem he had been stumped by for the last week. The crankshaft sensor in the car was not working in these models and that it was a manufacturing issue, an issue he himself could not figure out, solve, or fix with his mechanic skills alone. With that new information, he pulled our car onto his tow bed and loaded us into his car to take everyone and everything back to his shop.

Along the 30 minute drive back to Myvatn, he presented us with several options (some doable, some not so doable) for how to proceed with our situation. Normally, Martjin has two spare Blue Car rentals at his shop for these exact situations. But unfortunately, given that this was the 4th issue this week with Blue Car Rental, there were no spares left to offer. So that wasn’t an option. The other options were to try to get a car rental here as soon as possible (and it wasn’t going to be that soon since Blue Car had to find a replacement car, load it up, find a driver to tow it out to Myvatn, which was 6-7 hours away) to continue the trip later this evening (but actually, in the wee hours of the morning) knowing we had an AirBnB already booked in Seyðisfjörður OR to stick around the Myvatn area for the night and restart our trip in the morning with a new rental that would be towed ALL THE WAY from Reykjavik and arrive by morning. After he made some quick calls to assess all other options and my family and I had discussed the options, we ended up making the safest decision, which was to stay the night in a hotel in Myvatn, take it easy, and make up lost ground once we had our car delivered tomorrow morning.

Once that decision was made, Martjin made a ton of calls to all of his contacts and quickly made a three-room booking with the relatively fancy and expensive Sel-Hotel Myvatn for the night. We made a pit stop to pick up his “little blond devil” of a son from the nearby kindergarten and then stopped by his shop to wait for him to finish up some things before he dropped us off at the hotel. While waiting at the shop, we met a nice couple, Will and Mary, from Miami who had also run into some car issues and were also on their road trip around Iceland but driving in the opposite direction of us. We had a nice conversation with them and even shared our trip experiences and trip tips as we passed the time.

Before long, Will and Mary were ready to hit the road again after their flat tire was replaced, and we were ready to head to our hotel with Martjin. A short ride later, we were dropped off at Sel Hotel Myvatn, where we spoke with and checked into our hotel with the very nice and welcoming front desk lady named Kate. After we were given the keys to our three rooms, we moved upstairs to our rooms to get situated and get Cynthia ready for her work day. We hung out for a bit in the hotel rooms before heading down for a relatively early dinner in the nice hotel restaurant downstairs.

At the hotel restaurant, we treated ourselves to a nice and relatively expensive dinner (assuming that we’d get reimbursed for it by the rental car agency as part of the hotel stay). We ordered their Northern Diver Pizza with bacon, ham, and pepperoni, tiger shrimp scampi style scallops starter, lasagna, trout dinner, and pulled pork sandwich. It was so yummy! Though I wish we had gone haywire and ordered even more yummy food to fill up on! I guess we did the responsible thing… for the car rental agency, hahaha.

With stomachs filled with delicious food, we went to chill upstairs while waiting for our hotel sauna shed/room to be prepared. It took about 30 minutes for the hotel staff to ready the sauna room but once it was ready, the family minus Cynthia sat in a steamy, hot, humid, and very uncomfortable indoor sauna for about 30 minutes or so. My dad and I were the first to exit since we couldn’t deal with the heat and steam anymore. I guess it was slightly cleansing… Once everyone was done with the sauna, Minh and I headed to the hotel lobby to play a couple games of pool before my dad and I did the same. And funnily enough, in-between games with my dad, a little Iceland kid on his way to the Westfjords with his family wanted to jump in and get a game with me. So we played a couple of turns before he had to leave with his mom. Funny kid. By this point in the evening, the family was getting tired. So everyone except me and Cynthia headed upstairs to turn in for the night and get some much needed rest.

As for me, I hung out downstairs with Cynthia while she worked before going out and exploring the area right across from the hotel that we had briefly stopped at earlier called Skútustaðagígar, where all the pseudocraters were located. I left the hotel around 10pm and hiked along the different paths leading around the pseudocraters before I came across a nice wildflowery slope with the sun setting in the background. With very few, slow-paced moments to do landscape photography on this trip, I wanted to make the most of this particular scene. So I ran back to the hotel to grab all of my photography gear and headed right back out to the flowery slope where I spent an hour watching the sunset while attempting to capture a photograph worth writing home about.

After freezing outside in the Myvatn wind for an hour or so, I headed back into the hotel to clean and wash up before going to bed. Cynthia wasn’t yet done with work by that time so I went to bed first because I knew that recharging for tomorrow would be a smart thing to do given the ground we had to cover due to the unfortunate circumstances we ran into today.

Looking back at today’s debacle, our impromptu back-up plan wasn’t too bad! But here’s to a more reliable car and a more productive day tomorrow!

5 Things I Learned/Observed Today:

1. The Myvatn area is named after the large lake in the area and there is no associated town called Myvatn town.

2. Lake Myvatn is a bird-watching haven for tons of tourists. If you see heavily-armed photographers with huge lenses and camouflage, they’re probably there to take photos of birds.

3. Much of the Myvatn area is formed from the interaction of lava and water. For example, the lava rock formations at Dimmuborgir formed when lava spilled over water-filled depressions or marshlands forming a lava lake. Due to the overlying magma and lava lake, the sub-surface water layer heated up and created steam that escaped to the outside through vents that eventually became surrounded by solidifying magma. Over time, the results of this process were lava pillars, columns, and ridges like the ones at Dimmuborgir, which are the remnants of the steam vents of old. Similarly, you have the pseudocraters of Myvatn which were formed from a similar process. When molten lava flowed over water or wetlands, water became trapped underneath the lava field and started boiling. The pressure caused explosions where the steam escaped to the surface. Over time, the repeated explosions ripped apart the lava, which piled up around the steam vent, forming a pseudocrater (per the infographic sign at the site).

4. Brand new car rentals are not fool- and fail-proof. Always be on the lookout if your engine light turns on randomly and unexpectedly. It’s never a good sign for a new car. And when things like that happen and the car company needs to send a mechanic out to inspect it and tow it, it’s really expensive for the car rental agency. Per Martjin, it costs about 1000 Euros to send him to check out and try to diagnose the car issue at hand. So that’s for the service. On top of that, it costs approximately 3000 Euros to tow a rental car from Myvatn back to Reykjavik. VERY VERY EXPENSIVE. Luckily, if it’s a manufacturing issue, it’s not on us, the customer, to pay any of that. Thank goodness!

5. Lake Myvatn is considered the land of midges. They are everywhere. And they are a nuisance. Luckily, when it’s super windy outside, they pose no problems at all because the wind sweeps them away. Per the hotel, if the midges fly into your rooms due to open windows, just leave your windows open as they will attempt to fly out right away, thus causing little issues. An issue only occurs when you close your windows and they’re trapped inside.

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carasuntoldstory · 3 years

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The First Trauma

Hi, I'm Cara. And if you're reading this, then that means I finally decided to tell my story.

Sometimes, you don't actually know how traumatic something you've gone through is, and for much of my life, all of my traumas just seemed like normal things that happened. That's what they all became to me. It was just normal. It wasn't until I was a well seasoned adult that I realized just how traumatic my experiences had been.

And to tell you my story, we have to start at the beginning.

It was August of 1990. I was five years old. My little brother was three. Our parents were high school sweethearts and had been separated for a couple of years at the time. They had both moved on. Our mother was married to a new man and we had a brand new baby sister who wasn't even three months old yet. And our father was dating a woman who had a couple of daughters. One was seven and the other was also five like me, just a few months older.

My dad was out drinking at a bar with his girlfriend. Her house was within walking distance from the bar, so when they left, my dad was walking her home.

For some reason or another, they began arguing about halfway between the bar and her house. And another man who had been drinking at a house party nearby decided to be a good Samaritan and intervene.

He came up and told my dad to, "Leave her alone," referring to his girlfriend he had been arguing with. My dad told the man to, "Mind your business." And the two of them began to fight.

My dad's girlfriend had had just about enough of this nonsense, and she turned her back and huffed away. But little did she know what would happen next...

The man fighting my father had a knife, and he pulled it on him, slitting his throat open.

The wound was ten inches across my father's neck.

And who knows how he managed to do it, but he ran. He ran for his life, holding onto his neck the whole time. Blood spilling all over the train tracks where he was stabbed. All over the pavement around the corner and up the block to his girlfriend's house. But somehow, he made it. He pounded on door and the windows for help.

He collapsed there, right on her front porch.

An ambulance came. Paramedics worked with him all the way to the hospital. But it was no use.

My dad died on August 4, 1990 at 1:37am. He was 27 years old.

And I remember that day like it was yesterday.

My brother and I were playing on the floor. He was riding on top of his yellow Tonka truck, and I was riding on top of my pink Barbie corvette. We were just sitting on top of them, scooting on the floor pretending we were driving them. It was something we did often.

Our mother called us into the living room, and in-between sobs and tears, she said two very simple words to us. "Daddy's dead."

I knew what "dead" meant. It meant my Daddy was in Heaven. I understood. Perhaps I didn't understand the permanence, but I understood what she was telling me. My brother didn't. We were both quiet as our mother just sat there crying. So I did the only thing I could think to do. "C'mon, lets go," I said, and I took my little brother back into the next room and we started playing again where we left off, like nothing ever happened.

I remember picking out the outfit I was to wear to his funeral. It had to be pink, with black polka dots. I insisted. And I remember walking in to the funeral with my mother and little brother... I can still see him laying there in the casket. He was wearing a white dress shirt and a grey vest. He wore a tie around his neck, only it wasn't around his shirt collar where it was supposed to be. I didn't realize why back then, but as the years have passed, and I still remember that stupid tie around his neck, I've now realized it was to cover his fatal wound.

How sad is that?

And to this day, I still see him laying there. I see it all. Someone left him a red rose. There were heart-shaped pillows with him. They were embroidered with, "Dad" and "Brother". My little brother, three years old, wanted to know, "When is my Daddy going to wake up, Mommy? When is he going to get out of that bed?" She just looked down and cried. She couldn't answer him. But his five year old big sister could. "He's not going to wake up. He's dead."

To this day, I'm still not sure how something like that came out of my mouth at only five years old, but it did. I was such a "brave, big girl," while all the adults around me mourned and cried. I understood that he was dead, but I did not yet comprehend the permanence of what life without him would be like. I mourned for him in my own time, and all these years later, I still do.

Some time after he passed, I'm not sure how long, I went to the house where he died to visit his girlfriend and her daughters, my "step sisters" as I always called them. And I swear, I could still see the blood stains on the sidewalk. And in the window screens. My mom swore it was gone, and that I either made it up or that it was all in my head, but I swear, I saw it.

The man who murdered my father was arrested the same day it happened, and the whole time he sat in jail awaiting trial, he proclaimed his innocence. According to him, he was just a good Samaritan saving a battered woman from the man who was beating her. But to this day, the woman claims my dad never touched her; they were arguing that night, and that was it.

And I say this all the time, but I'm so glad social media didn't exist back in 1990, because my dad's story was all over the news. Even back then, some articles painted him as the good man I knew him to be, but others portrayed him as a woman beating monster. I see the ignorant comments left on social media posts today. I could never imagine having to read the comments people would leave about my father's story.

On May 21, 1991, more than 9 months after my father's death, his killer was sentenced to 40 years in prison for first degree murder.

40 years.

Let me remind you, my father was 27 years old. He was so young. He had so much life ahead of him.

He didn't even get to see me off to kindergarten. Of all the milestones a parent looks forward to witnessing their child do, he didn't even get as far as my first day of kindergarten.

But I'm the lucky one, because I actually have a few memories of him to look back on. My younger brother who was three years old at the time? He has ONE memory of our father. Just one. And it's a good one. But it's just. one.

40 years. And do you know what's even worse than that? Indiana's Good Time Credit. At the time of his incarceration, he was able to earn one day of credit for each day served, which cut his prison sentence in half. So lets take that 40 years and make it 20 years instead.

On May 12, 2010, I received the call I had been dreading; my father's murderer had been released from prison. I knew it was happening. I knew my phone would ring that day. But it still hit me like a slap right across the face and brought me to my knees.

Let me just say, when you have lost a loved one to murder, NO amount of time is ever justice enough. Never.

After 20 years, this man was free to reconnect with his own family and to meet his grandchildren and go on about his life.

Meanwhile, my dad is six feet in the cold wet ground and my children and my brother's children will never know him.

We barely knew him ourselves.

A few weeks from now will mark 31 years since his death.

The pain never goes away. It gets easier to deal with as time goes by, but it never truly stops hurting.

I cried on my 27th birthday because I was the same age as him when he died. And I cried even more on my 28th, because that meant I was officially older than him. And on August 4, 2017, the day he had officially been gone for just as long as he had been alive? Oh yeah, the tears were heavy that day.

The grief comes and goes, and usually it comes when I least expect it. And the older I get, I mourn a little less for the little girl who lost her daddy, and more so for the young man who lost his life way too soon, and for all the things he didn't get to experience.

Today, my dad would be 58 years old. And that's still young. But instead he is eternally 27. Forever young and handsome.

I miss him so much.

"What is grief, if not love persevering?" -Vision, WandaVision, 2021

#trauma #childhood trauma #true crime #crime #murder #trigger warning #gore #death #mourning #violence #grief

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desiraypark · 4 years

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No More Secrets

Clyde x Sherri (Non-Linear Series) Almost there, y’all. Part I | Part II | Part III Notes: I’ve shared this before, but for those unfamiliar with the timeline, I pushed the events of Logan Lucky back to 2015 to stretch the length of Clyde and Sherri’s relationship. So, in “Clyde x Sherri” world, they broke up the first week of April 2017. The following entry takes place early May 2017. Also, “Familiar” (The story of how these two met and began dating) takes place in late May 2017.

“Sherri?”

“Afternoon Mr. Valdes,” Sherri said, walking straight to the back to start her second job—cashier at the Madison Supermarket. She didn’t hear the “question” in Mr. Valdes’ voice.

“Somebody came by to see you this morning,” he said. She stopped in her tracks and turned to one of her many managers. He handed her a small strip of paper.

“Please call me soon! 555-0529, Clyde’s brother (Jimmy)”

Sherri stared at the paper for a bit.

“Is everything alright?” Mr. Valdes asked. Sherri nodded and looked up at the clock on the wall: 2:47.

“Yes. Is it okay if I make this call?” she asked.

“Sure thing.” Mr. Valdes gave her an assuring smile and walked out onto the sales floor. Then, she stepped into the empty break room and dialed the number.

8:07pm

Sherri yawned and searched the parking lot for a man who may resemble Clyde. About three minutes later, a truck pulled in—driven by a brown-haired man. She couldn’t make out a resemblance, but when he hopped out the truck, she knew.

“My brother blew his knee out,” she remembered Clyde telling her. “He’s got a limp now.”

The man wobbled toward her, looking just as inquisitive as she was. She suddenly wanted to know how Clyde described her to others.

“Sherri?”

“Mhm. You’re...” she asked for certainty.

“Jimmy,” he said holding his hand out. Sherri shook it. Jimmy looked just as tall as Clyde, maybe an inch or so shorter. But he was just as thick and muscular as his little brother.

“I’m sorry to hold up your evenin’, but I needed to talk to you face to face. Look you right in the eye...”

Sherri folded her arms, patiently awaiting his purpose.

“What happened a couple of years ago, was my doin’. I convinced Clyde to do it,” he said.

“Clyde is still a grown man. He could have said no,” Sherri said. She shook her head. “But I’m not upset about what he did. I just could have gone my whole life not knowing. Now, if the police or the FBI or somebody come knockin’ on my door, I’d have to choose between lyin’ to the law, or snitchin’ on my man.”

Jimmy bit down on a smile. He’d never heard a girl call Clyde their “man”.

“If it’s any consolation, the FBI tried to investigate us twice and hit brick walls both times.”

It was some consolation, but Sherri wasn’t going to admit that. They silenced themselves as a small family walked out of the store. Everyone nodded silent goodnight’s, and Sherri shifted her weight on each foot, watching the family of four head to their SUV. Jimmy continued.

“The speedway got back what we took. Probably more than that. Once they got their money, they ain’t care about what happened. Ain’t nobody fooled with us since.”

Sherri chewed on the inside of her mouth. “How can you be so sure that they’re done with you?”

“Everybody that lost money done made it back by now. And you know that’s all that matters to the people on top.”

Sherri shrugged reluctant agreement.

“So, what do you expect to happen now? What’s your goal?” she asked.

“I don’t expect nothin’. But I wanted you to know that my brother is a good man and that he ain’t been right since y’all broke up. He’s been dodgin’ my calls, bein’ short wit’ me. I come on out here to visit and the first thing he tells me is that I done ruined his life.”

Sherri’s heart sank. Then, she smiled and rolled her eyes. “I can hear him sayin’ that. All pouty and dramatic.”

Jimmy laughed. “You know it! You know it!”

Sherri and Jimmy let their laughter ride out before silence befell them again.

“Has he apologized for saying that?” Sherri asked. “Naw. But he don’t have to.”

Sherri watched the man of the family roll the buggy to the cart corral.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Jimmy continued. “But I don’t want you to end things because of something I created. And like I said, ain’t nobody checkin’ on us.”

Sherri sighed and nodded. “I appreciate you comin’ to talk to me.”

“I appreciate you givin’ me a chance to explain,” Jimmy responded. “And look, Clyde don’t know I did this. You think you can keep this as—”

“I ain’t keepin’ no more of y’all’s secrets,” Sherri cut across. She started walking to her car.

Jimmy laughed and nodded. “Fair enough.”

He walked with her toward the parking lot. “I hope to see you again before I head back to Greenbrier.”

“When do you head back?” Sherri asked. “Tomorrow evening.” “Well...we’ll have to see about that...” ____________________ Tag List: Thanks to everyone who asked to be on a tag list! I’m considering working out various lists, but for now, if you’d like to be on a permanent/everything tag list, just leave a comment! Sorry if I overlooked anyone! Just let me know in the comments!

@aloneandsleepless @direnightshade @finn-ray-nal-beads @a-true-janian-reply @thegreenmatt @sister-winter73 @loewsy55 @mariesackler @clydes-hole @sydneyssmut @kirah36

#clyde x sherri

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blueeyesspitfire · 3 years

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Another One

Someone asked when (and maybe, subconsciously, why) I decided to add another dog (Atlas!) to the team. While it might not seem like it, especially not to the average pet-owner, I have always been extremely strategic when increasing my numbers. I always tell non-mushers: comparatively, I actually have a very small team! It has also taken me more than ten years to get to ten dogs, so I consider my expansion pretty slow.

To answer the question, I started thinking back to how I got started in this sport (and hobby... and lifestyle). I had always wanted a Siberian Husky, but as a 20-year-old college student living in an apartment with a tiny, unfenced yard, no rescue would let me adopt one. My then-boyfriend (hi Rob) and I ended up adopting Dexter from a foster family that could tell we were more prepared than your average idiot kids. At this point, I was aware of mushing, but it was not part of my plan. I just wanted a dog that could accompany me on hikes and other outdoor adventures.

A few years later, and after volunteering for both a husky rescue and a wolf/wolfdog rescue, I finally had the credentials for husky ownership. I still had a hard time finding the right dog through adoption organizations, so I ended up looking into reputable breeders. One of them invited me to the Pine Barrens to attend a training meetup and "see the dogs in action". I was intrigued; this was New Jersey, where our winters weren’t known for their snow. It was also autumn, so there definitely wasn't snow on the ground. This is where it all began.

I met folks with only a few dogs and some with over a dozen. They used bikes, scooters, and non-motorized carts that looked like a mix between a shopping cart and a horse chariot. I started biking with Dexter and I was even able to hook him up with some borrowed dogs to see what true dog propulsion felt like. I was hooked before I even had my husky.

Denali was my first true sled dog and she paved the way for us. I started biking with her and Dexter, but I knew I wanted to get a third to pull a cart and, eventually, a sled. I adopted Knox six months after Denali came home. I remember everyone being shocked at this point. Three dogs? Wild.

For a time, the trio met my needs. I started a new job that required me to go into NYC a few times a week. I hung out with friends a lot. I traveled often. We mushed, too, but it wasn't all encompassing. Then Dexter started slowing down a bit. After all, he wasn't really built to keep up with two athletic young huskies. I started thinking about an eventual replacement for him. Denali's littermate, Mia, was due to have a litter, and I was quick to jump on the opportunity. Willow joined us in 2015, and shortly thereafter, I made my first "mistake".

When Willow was old enough to join the team, I kept Dexter on the line, since we were doing short and relatively easy runs that he could still handle. I was surprised to see him get a sort of second wind once he had a consistent running partner. In fact, the entire team seemed to do better in pairs. Eventually I had the girls leading with the boys in wheel, and Dex lasted through the whole season. And I realized, shit, I want to run a team of four.

Dexter's second wind was short lived, which I expected, and it wasn't long before I started thinking about another dog to take his place (for real this time). So a year after Willow, I added Blitz to the team. Ok, good, great, I should have been satisfied at this point, right? I wanted a team of four and I had it. Except there was a thought creeping in the back of my mind, almost since the beginning of this whole crazy journey. A friend had told me that you probably want at least six dogs to carry a passenger. I also really liked the idea of having leaders, team dogs, and wheel dogs. So I got to work.

I secured a fully remote job and found myself easing into a life more centered around mushing. Hubble joined the pack in 2017, a year after Blitz, and right before I moved to California. I thought, hell, let's make five work and see what comes next.

In 2018 I moved back to the Northeast, and finally had the space and setup to complete the six pack. Laika joined us in early 2019 and the following season was my first time competing in 6-dog classes. So now, certainly, I should be all set—right? Except...

Except it had taken me so long to build my six dog team that my oldest, Denali and Knox, were starting to show their age. Knox, a rescue with less than ideal structure, was having trouble keeping up with the younger dogs. Denali could still hold her own, but she seemed to be getting bored with the repetitive training we do at home. If I wanted to keep this whole thing going, I knew I had to start thinking about filling their places on the line.

So, later on in 2019, I found Sagan and Hopper to join the pack. I wanted to "try out" some Alaskan Huskies (mixed breeds specifically bred for mushing, not to adhere to a specific standard) and their lines synced up nicely with my existing dogs. Hopper is even half related to my existing crew, so I knew he’d fit well.

If you're keeping count, this brought me to nine dogs: one fully retired, two semi-retired, and six active team members. At this point in the journey, I'd been saying that my limit was ten. Mainly, I'm constrained by vehicle space: the dog van fits eight crates, two of which are big enough to be doubled up in. The dog truck has eight boxes with two dogs fitting in the cab. So, ten is possible, but was it really necessary?

When the pandemic first hit, and I knew I wouldn't be traveling for awhile, the thought of raising a pup crossed my mind. Then came the chaos of the Denali/Willow fights and my broken thumb, which quickly squashed the idea of adding more dogs to the mix. I didn't think about it again until the fall, when some exciting litters were planned, and my favorite breeder mentioned plans of moving to Alaska. I was training for my first mid-distance race with the 6-dog team. I knew I had room for one more, but I wasn't sure I had the justification for it.

Then Blitz had a seizure. This rocked me to my core and I'm still dealing with the shockwaves of PTSD it caused. Blitz has since been 100% fine and we've figured out a schedule that ensures his blood sugar levels stay in a safe range. All the races we were aiming for ended up canceled due to Covid, but I'm not sure we would've been ready to run them given how slow we got back on track with training.

Most "real" mushers have a larger pool of dogs than those they run in races. Many train an A team and a B team, or run larger strings than necessary for the class they intend to compete in. Then, when race day comes, they select the dogs who are running their best. If a dog gets a sore paw, or is more sensitive to warm temperatures, or refuses to eat, or just generally isn't enthusiastic, they can get "benched" without impacting the team's race. It felt like a gamble to train all season for some big (to me) races, only to have the possibility of being at a disadvantage (with a 5-dog team, if one dog couldn't run—most 6-dog classes allow as few as five) or not able to compete at all (if two couldn't run).

A seventh, active team member adds a bit of buffer, so I can more confidently chase after my goals. And yes, I also made the same mistake of running the semi-retirees with their yearling replacements. An 8-dog team is awesome to behold, but I didn't let myself get too comfortable with it. That's not to say things won't change as my goals and situation changes. If you couldn't tell, that's been the theme of this whole wild ride.

To conclude, I guess I should more specifically answer "why Atlas?", since he's the pup I chose. Atlas comes from some of my very favorite lines. Knowing that his breeder, Jaye, will be leaving the area to compete in Iditarod 2022 (go Jaye!!), I figured this might be my last opportunity for a pup from Sibersong. And of course, I’m still grounded from travel for several more months, making now an ideal time for puppy raising.

So, there you have it. A very long-winded explanation that nobody really asked for, but I hope it gives you some insight behind the decisions I've made.

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crackedoutgiraffe · 4 years

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The Stars In Your Eyes

THIS IS PART 2 OF TO THE MOON AND BACK

Part 2: Chapter 1 Part 2: Chapter 2 Part 2: Chapter 3 Part 2: Chapter 4 Part 2: Chapter 5 Part 2: Chapter 6 Part 2:Chapter 7 Part 2: Chapter 8 Part 2: Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you to everyone who comments, votes, and re-blogs! Ask to be added to the taglist.

Master-list

4/15/2017

“All right, Voltron, sound off,” Penelope’s giddy voice rang through the coms after twenty minutes of driving. You all had mostly been driving in silence.

Prentiss was riding with Tara and Rossi, “have we dispatched units to the location Scratch tried to lure us to?”

“I coordinated it before we left,” Tara seemed incredibly calm. “They're on their way.”

“SWAT will meet us on site at Scratch's house,” Luke said from the front seat of your SUV.

“I know we all want this son of a bitch's head on a platter, but SWAT has to clear every single room before we step foot inside,” Emily instructed.

“Have they been briefed?” JJ asked. “This guy's traps set traps.”

“The house itself could be a setup,” Rossi’s italian accent made you laugh a little. Stephen looked over at you like you were crazy.

“Or a waste of our time so he can get away,” Stephen reminded.

“Whatever it is, he's gonna try to take us by surprise,” Emily emphasized. “We have to be ready for anything.” You all rode in silence a little longer before a set of spike strips came out of nowhere and popped all the tires on both cars. You held onto the door as you waited for the SUV to stop spinning. “Is everyone OK?”

JJ turned around to get a response from you, all you could muster was a nod. “Yeah, yeah, we're good,” JJ relayed to Emily.

You sighed and rested your head on your seat, closing your eyes. You were forced to open them when a bright light approached you from the left. The semi-truck slammed into both the SUV’s causing yours to flip. You were thrown out of your seat and ended up flying around the SUV. Normally you wore your seatbelt but today you didn’t.

When it finally stopped you were right side up but everyone else was upside down. After a few minutes, your vision went black. You could feel the velvet material of the roof on the back of your head. You came to and saw that JJ and Luke had crawled out of the car. Stephen was passed out next to you.

“Stephen,” you tried to shake him awake, “Stephen,” you repeated. You placed your fingers on his neck, checking for a pulse. Nothing. You groaned and rested your head back down.

“Luke!” you heard a man scream. Luke came running to your side. You watched as he laid down on his stomach and looked in your, now broken, window.

“Hey, Y/N, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” you sighed. “Stephen is dead. You need to help him.”

You watched as he looked you up and down, “are you in any pain?”

“No, you need to help Stephen,” you tried to push him away but your arms were weak. He nodded, got up and walked away. “Get Reid here now,” he whispered to an unknown person. You laid there and waited for someone to come help you out.

Your vision was starting to become blurry and your adrenaline was running out. “Luke,” you tried to scream, but your voice wasn’t getting anywhere.

“Y/N, how are you feeling?” Garcia’s perky little head showed up at your window.

Seeing her brought a smile to your face, “Garcia, thank god. Can you help me out of here?” You reached your hand out and tried to grab hers.

“I’ll talk to the paramedics and see what they can do,” her smile made you feel a lot better about your current situation. “Reid should be here soon. I’ll send him to talk to you.”

“No, he should help you guys find Scratch,” you tried to dismiss her, but she wouldn’t move. “I think my legs are broken but it’s not bad right now.” Garcia was interrupted by a few paramedics who came to the side of the car. They quickly examined you and started to talk to each other. You could see the worry on their faces and in their voices. It wasn’t looking good. Your skin was becoming pale, your breathing was becoming rapid, and your heart was racing.

“Garcia!” you heard Reid shout from down the road. “What’s going on?” you couldn’t see him but you assumed he was near the car and couldn’t see you.

“Are you her husband?” one of the paramedics asked him.

“What is happening?” his voice was frantic, you could hear it breaking. “Am I who’s husband?”

“He is,” Garcia interrupted. You couldn’t see him but you knew Reid was connecting the dots.

There were so many noises surrounding you. Everything was happening all at once and nobody would tell what was happening. “She’s not looking good,” one of the paramedics told Reid.

You heard him push past them and fall to the ground next to you, “hey,” you smiled. You were trying to keep up a brave face for him. You watched as he scanned your body and became even more worried.

“What happened?” his breathing was shaky. You noticed that he was blinking irregularly.

You brought one hand up to your eye and furrowed your brow, “Um, I-I think we were hit.” Your brain was foggy and everything from the past twenty all melded together. “Yeah, we were hit by a uh-”

“It’s okay if you can’t remember,” the white’s of his eyes reflected the blue and red lights making them much brighter. Your hands were shaking and your breathing was labored.

You could feel yourself starting to fall asleep but you forced yourself to wake up. Reid seemed startled when you jolted, but you gave him a small smile. “I think my legs are broken,” your voice shook with every word. “It must be a pretty bad break because I can’t feel them.” You tried to reach down with one of your hands and feel your legs but your pelvis was pinned down by the seat.

“We’re going to get you out of here, ok?” his brown hair fell in front of his eyes that were now filling with tears. “Don’t fall asleep,” he faked a smile and grabbed your hand in his.

Spencer’s POV

Her skin was pale. Her hands were shaking. Her breathing was labored.

“Sir, can we talk to you for a moment?” one of the paramedics got my attention. I nodded and let go of Y/N’s hand. “If we can extract her safely, we may be able to save the baby, but we have to do it soon.”

“What’s stopping you?” I asked.

The paramedic’s eyes fell to the ground, “If we move her wrong, there is a chance she loses the use of her legs.”

“Do it,” even if it meant she couldn’t use her legs she would be more upset to be dead.

“But, sir,” the paramedic’s eyes met my own and his brow furrowed, “maybe you’d like to discuss it with your wife.”

“I said do it,” why couldn’t he just listen. She could be dead by now. I watched as he scurried off to the ambulance and firetruck. I returned to the ground next to the car. “Y/N, I’m back,” her eyes were closed and her chest was barely rising. “Y/N,” I reached one of my arms in and gently shook her awake. She came to and looked at me without her usual smile. Her face was covered in dirt and blood, but her y/e/c eyes were still as bright as ever.

“Reid, I think my legs are broken,” she repeated. “I can’t feel them.”

I quickly grabbed one of her shaking hands and held it close to my heart. Her eyes were searching the floor for something, it was hard to tell what. They jolted from side to side and scanned the area. She turned her head to look at me. The corners of her mouth twisted into a smile before she looked back up and closed her eyes. Her hands stopped shaking and her chest stopped rising.

“Y/N, wake up,” I shook her arm a little but it was limp. “No, no!” I screamed which alerted the paramedics. All of the first responders rushed over and started to work on her and the car. Garcia came and ushered me away. We stood in silence watching as they inserted the tire jack. The bottom of the SUV started to rise into the air. They quickly dragged her out and placed her on a backboard. Garcia walked me back to their SUV as they put her in the ambulance.

***

Scratch died. Emily was rushed to the same hospital as Y/N. The rest of the team had all gathered in the waiting room in anticipation. After she was cleared Emily came to join us.

The team tried talking to me but I couldn’t hear anything. There was a ringing in my ear.

The silence was broken when JJ entered the room. Everyone’s eyes were glued on her. “She bled out during surgery. There were crush injuries that they couldn’t repair.”

“No,” Garcia started to cry into Rossi’s shoulder. Tara and Luke both left. Emily tried to comfort me, but I couldn’t move. How could she just die like that?

Taglist:

@la-vie-en-amour1 @vixengustin88

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #Matthew Gray Gubler

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