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#and it does feel more pronounced with specific characters
utilitycaster · 1 year
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This rattles around in my head whenever we meet a complicated NPC or even hear about them, but there is frequently a chilling lack of empathy towards NPCs who are anything but complete and utter allies (or, funnily enough, complete and utter villains). This even at times spreads to PCs when they are not sufficiently kind to one's favorite, which is even worse.
The thing is, I like D&D villains, and I also like D&D complicated people with complicated relationships, but there's this excessive focus on only how one half of each relationship feels, or things are evaluated on a framework related to "who supports my blorbo/ship" rather than considering that other people have their own interests and priorities. Which is also why so much fictional war crimes/murders discourse is in such bad faith; it's judged on who is doing it and whether the judge likes their vibes, and not on any sort of consideration of the situation at hand.
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sexydoffyman · 3 months
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Could I maybe get an NSFW alphabet plz with male reader? Thanks!
NSFW ALPHABET - KÖNIG
navigation
genre: smut
characters: König
A/n: a friend pf mine pronounces his name like qwajnk.
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Oh boy. He doesn't really seem like it but he really fucking likes cuddles. He definitely uses his height to his advantage. (You're getting grounded, literary) He is a little self-conscious after sex. He knows he's big. He also knows he could hurt you pretty badly. Thoughts of you hating him or losing interest fill his head. He just has to grab you and make sure you stay there with him.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He loves his arms. You can grab on them, and it makes them seem even bigger than they already are. He likes putting you in a chokehold.
What he favours the most in you are your legs. Thighs specifically. He doesn't really have a reason for it. He just likes them. Let the man get some thighs.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Average texture, not super thick, but also not watery. Hex - f3f5e6 Big man big load. Usually pulls out and catches it in his hand. (He doesn't want to add work by having to clean anything up) He also doesn't really want you to swallow it. He is mature he doesn't need a porn actor who will do anything to satisfy a dude. He'd rather have real sex.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He doesn't fit in a fleshlight. He's pretty embarrassed about the whole thing.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He's over 40. Definitely has a pretty big body count. About 27 I'd say. (counting one-night stands) He finally found someone on whom he can use his knowledge on.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Spooning or the seashell.
When he spoons you he can put you in a chokehold, making you fight back a little. On the other hand, when he bends your legs you won't be able to fucking move.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Serious but not a nerd kinda serious. He just doesn't speak much.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He keeps a solid bush on there. (He does make sure to clean it properly) It is not messy. He's got a little thicker happy trail. And he's a pretty brunet down there.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He can be pretty brutal both with his actions and with his words. Or he can be soft with both. It depends on both of your moods.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
This testosterone-filled man definitely jerks off. Even when you are around (Doesn't try to hide it)
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Being in control. I mean, can you blame him. He has the perfect body and occupation for it. Speaking of body.
Size difference. Again it just feels right.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He could fuck anywhere. Even tho he likes it the most from the safety of your bedroom he wouldn't mind a public bathroom or a friend's bedroom. He likes to be sneaky. Has never been caught once.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Anything.
Do anything he's hard instantly. That's why he jerks off so much.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
If you want it he wants it. Except threesomes. He wants you for himself. Who could blame him when he has such a pretty thing only for him. Why would he share
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Receiving. He isn't bad at giving but he can use his hands and dick way better than his mought.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Fast and rough all the way. He loves to be in control and he's got all this raw strength and energy. Why not use it?
He also likes the slow and sensual. Both of you need a break sometimes.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He'd go for them more often, but he doesn't really want to bother you. Another reason for him jerking off a lot.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’s always pulling you to the side, finding a place to make you take him. He is obsessed of holding the door to make sure no one gets in.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
This dude. Bruv can go as long as you can go. He will take you to the stars and back and it’ll take him only a minute to catch his breath.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Not a fan of them. He’d rather have you on his dick not some plastic. He doesn’t find much pleasure in them either.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Based on his mood.
He could play with you as he holds you down.
Or he could be quick about it.
He for sure doesn’t mind teasing you. Touching your thigh is his favourite way to do so.
V = Volume (how loud are they, what sounds they make, etc.)
He is dead silent. Sometimes it freaks you out. But if he finds out you enjoy the sounds he makes he will definitely try to add more of ‘em
Slight sighing when he lays his body on yours, little grunts and the occasional “fuck”
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He’s into stalking. It doesn’t matter of it’s you stalking him or the other way around. He loves the thrill.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
7.5 inches abnormaly thick. #e0ae82 base #ba7f68 tip. Slightly curved to the left.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Boy can go anywhere anytime. Public bathroom, bed, a random fucking room. He’s always thinking of it. Hard 24/7
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He likes to talk a bit afterwards but he will fall asleep like a baby right after he’s done.
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skyeventide · 2 months
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does the Oath of Feanor work as a magical compulsion, or does it have magical properties, and are its consequences real?
yes, because the magic of Arda is also based on words of power, and it would be dissatisfying and limiting to assume that somehow that power doesn't work in this specific instance. no, because even if Feanor is the one speaking, not even his power could bend the fate of elves to that extent. yes, because the fate of any one people can be bent, delayed, or weirdly modified until an oath is fulfilled; in LOTR, the ghosts of the path of the dead prove it. no, because Manwe and Varda would not feel bound to enforce an oath of death with them as witnesses, and it goes against the rules of oathing. yes, because the enforcer is Eru, they just stand as witnesses and do not have the power to release the swearers as Eru would. no, because we don't even know if Eru accepted that oath. yes, because if the oath was invalid from the start, it would be beyond callous of Manwe and Varda not to inform the swearers and allow the consequences of the oath to happen. no, because a magical compulsion would remove or to an extent at least lessen responsibility of actions taken in its pursuit. yes, because the author of the story acknowledges a certain "will" of the oath by making it wake or sleep with active verbs. no, because even swearing without additional magic on top can feel like a compulsion to do things or to keep going that otherwise would not exist or not be felt by a given swearer. yes, because no matter what the everlasting darkness is or does, it can be real independently from any other prior compulsion to act; in other words, there may not be a magical property to the oath, but its called consequences for the swearers are very real. no, because there's several slightly different versions of the oath across the texts, and it's impossible to do a literal, word for word reading of its lines if it's possible to recite it slightly differently at a given time. yes, because the only valid version is the original pronounced by Feanor in Tirion, you can't wiggle out of that one. no, because who's to say that was recorded correctly, it's far too poetic for a sudden decision. yes, because who's to say that Feanor couldn't whip out all that via improvisation, I bet he could. yes, because other characters beyond the sons of Feanor treat the oath as something absolutely serious and real, and that includes Finrod in speaking to Andreth, when he says that Eru's name is not called upon even in jest, as well as Melian, when pointing out the strong forces awakened by involving that power. no, because neither of them can talk to Eru anyway. yes, because it's narratively more satisfying to imagine characters morally struggle against something that is eventually unbreakable and unavoidable like in any good tragedy. no, because it's narratively more satisfying to imagine characters do it to themselves and compromise with who they are out of family loyalty. yes, because the curse of Mandos actively turns it against the swearers into a betraying force, a consequence that wouldn't otherwise be a given, that is, nothing says that everything they start well would have finished badly and that the oath would have led them to defeat, and if it weren't magical before Mandos' addition, it is now. no, because Amrod's death in a draft would prove it breakable through his (admittedly only guessed) desire to turn back. yes, because he still died in the process, aka the everlasting darkness claimed him for being an oathbreaker. no, because how is it possible that it's simultaneously unbreakable and broken. yes, because the fate of arda and that of elves is inscribed within the eternal paradox of everything being predicted and everything being free will, and that will never be solved, neither regarding the fate of the elves nor the oath of Feanor. no, because the oath is a narrative device. yes, because the oath is a narrative device. three hundred more lines.
hope this helps. hope it doesn't. your pick.
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kira-fluff · 2 months
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reaction to finding out you have a chronic disease | fem!reader x haikyuu!!
this idea popped into my head in the shower. shower thoughts are the best. as a chronically ill person such as myself (mentally and physically, LOL!) i felt maybe I was a little qualified to write this. these are all diseases i experience! i can def write some that i am not diagnosed with :) i'm a biology nerd, so i love learning new things, especially about diseases! some of these are more serious than others. i tried to keep the disease symptoms/descriptions general so it can appeal to more diagnoses (for example, nosebleeds are indicative of several different diseases) that way more people can feel represented by what i write!
‼️warnings: mentions of blood, nekoma team being dorks, seizures, WAY too many ellipses (sorry I just love them), pointless bantering (oikawa), dramatic af, osamu described as "caked-up" (sorry not sorry), railing on atsumu for shits and giggles, deep hatred of the word moist
want to see a different haikyuu character's reaction? request here! also, if you want to read a specific disease represented, i can see if i can put it in there too :)
✿ kuroo tetsuro "hey when do you want to- OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?!" blood dripped from your nose onto the gymnasium floor. "oh. another nosebleed. my bad, I'll clean that up..." you said apathetically. "hey, this is sort of a big deal, ya know? shit... yaku, I need a towel or something!" he shouted. they really weren't anything serious. ever since you were little, you had frequent nosebleeds. your mom wrote it all off as the cold weather (even in summer), so it wasn't really that big of a deal to you either (until a few doctor visits later). still, the apathy you felt toward your predicament remained. yamamoto had already rushed over at his captain's call. "does she need an ice pack, too? fuck, I don't know what to do...." "aren't you supposed to tilt your head up?" one member asked. "no, no i think you're supposed to tilt your head down...." another muttered. "GUYS, GUYS I GOT IT. GOOGLE SAYS TO 'sit down and tilt your head forward, pinching the top part of your nose above the nostrils for like, 10 to 15 minutes.'" lev sat back proudly, phone in hand. "can't believe you were smart enough to look that up..." kenma whispered under his breath. "hey, hey, look at me. you still with us?" kuroo said, a hand on either side of your face. despite the towel against your nose, you couldn't help but laugh. "oh my god, guys! it's not like I'm dying! this happens all the time." "but that's not...normal. did you ever get it checked out?" kuroo stared at you inquisitively, his brow raised. his fellow teammates nodded. you sighed. "look, unless there's a lot of excessive gushing or anything like that, they said i should be okay. yes there's a whole disease behind it all with a long-ass name that no one can pronounce and yes there are sometimes other symptoms that could result in death, but I'm totally fine, okay? I'm perfectly healthy!" "you poor, fragile angel..." lev said, a hand on his chest, distraught. "that... does NOT make me feel more relieved. at all. in fact, I'm more worried. should we go to the hospital? that one looked a little... gush-y...." kuroo said, pacing back and forth before setting his eyes back on you. removing the towel from your nose, you shook your head. "no. look, bleeding nose already gone, see? I'm not going to the hospital. I'm completely fine. relax, kuroo." kuroo stared at you for another moment, taking in your expression, searching for any signs of discomfort. at last, he sighed. "ok. fine. I concede. but if you ever feel the littlest bit unwell, tell me or one of us, okay?" after your agreement, and several more minutes of doting from both your boyfriend and all the other team members, you at last parted ways. as you got out of the shower that night, your phone lit up with a notification. tetsu 💕 [11:23pm]: I'm serious about what I said back there. please talk to me when you aren't feeling good. you mean so much to me that I can't imagine what life would be like without you. sleep well, babe. love you.
✿ osamu miya "damn are you o-- OKAY, YEAH, NO. SHE'S NOT OKAY." it was your average day as a supportive, amazing, fantastic girlfriend watching your iconic, sexy, hot, caked-up boyfriend play volleyball with his piss-haired twin and the rest of the team of inarizaki. unfortunately for you (and the entire volleyball team), inarizaki had a recent issue with their air conditioning units. even more unfortunate was the fact that the fans in the gymnasium were practically there for decoration, that's how useless they were. despite it being late march (still quite cool outside), the players and spectators were drenched in sweat. still, you weren't about to let a little (lot) bit of sweat deter you from cheering for your mans! so, you remained in the stands, cheering as loudly as you could (except for the times when you couldn't because atsumu was once again on his I'm About To Serve Power Trip). it was finally nearing the end of the game, and thank GOD it was because you were starting to feel reaaalllly light-headed. at the final score of the match, you stood up, but oh, was that a mistake. suddenly, you legs started shaking. the lights suddenly seemed to dim down and black spots were popping up in your vision. maaaaybe you should sit back down. wait. where is "back down"? it suddenly occurred to you that at this point, you couldn't see anything. beginning to panic, you started reaching out to find something to hold onto, thankfully finding the stair railing of the bleachers in your grasp. slowly, you blindly fumbled your way down the steps of what you hoped were the bleachers steps. you heard someone shout something along the lines of, "you good?" you were far too panicked and far too focused to give a reply. don't fall down. don't fall down. don't faint. don't pass out. you chanted in your head like a mantra. you heard the squeak of shoes against the ground and voices talking back and forth around you when suddenly a steady hand grabbed ahold of you just above your elbow. guess that was all you needed before your consciousness flickered, then extinguished.
-
"....cold like ice...." "...pale as hell...." you could only hear snippets of sentences, and your eyelids felt heavy. "....have something....with sugar, preferably...." when you finally opened your eyes, you were no longer in the gym, but in inarizaki's nurse's office. "hey..." you turned, now noticing the other occupant of the otherwise empty room. "'samu... did I faint again?" his eyebrows rose. "again? like, you've done this before?" "yeah. happens a lot. 's fine though. was a little scary back there for a minute, though." "damn, I'll say. I've never seen someone so pale. and sweaty. and that's saying something, cuz post-practice 'tsumu is disgustingly moist." "'samu, I love you, but never say that fucking word again." "what, moist?" you cringed, grabbing at your ears, "ugh, yes! I'm already dying here and now you're nailing the final mark in the coffin." osamu gave his signature half-smile. "I thought you said you were fine?" you scoffed, "that was just to make you feel better. I'm gonna need lots of cuddles tonight to wave off my near-death experience." he let out a light-hearted laugh. "okay. plenty of that for you regardless of whether you're on death's door or not." he said, giving you a small peck. you pursed your lips. "I need you right now, though." his face split in a full grin as he slid next to you on the small bed. "anything for you darlin'."
✿ oikawa toru "please... please be okay..." you had been enjoying your regular weekday study session. it always went as follows: meet up after class, head off to aoba johsai's library, study (and perhaps get slightly off-topic over some vending machine snacks and drinks), and at last, go to volleyball practice (perks of being a manager!). "ok, ok, we should probably finally look at what we're supposed to know for our next english exam," oikawa said, still in between chuckles. "but toru... i can't go on without a drink..." you clutched your throat dramatically. "must... have.... beverage.... dying of.... thirst!" oikawa laughed again, "geez, fine!" he said, attempting to sound annoyed by your request (and failing miserably). "I'll go grab us something to drink. on me." he winked. "wow. what a gentleman. you really spare no expense, spoiling me with luxurious drinks from the beverage box of wonders! oh how lucky I am to have such a supportive boyfriend..." you leaned back on your chair, drying a fake tear of gratitude, while simultaneously stifling a giggle. "damn, ok. fork out the yen, then, babe." "nooooo~~~ I was kidding! I'm sorry you're the best ever in the whole wide world~~~ my little piglet oinkawa~" "ok now you're paying for my drink too." "I'm sorry!!!! I won't call you oinkawa ever again." "thank you-" "to your face." after at least 15 minutes of more bickering (and no studying) oikawa was off to the so-called beverage box of wonders, also known as a shitty-ass vending machine that was probably last refurbished in the '90s. oikawa was still laughing to himself as he rounded the corner to the library, drinks in his arms. "hey babe, are you finally studying?" he smirked, finally nearing your small alcoved study area.
- thud, thud. the long-forgotten drinks fell to the floor as oikawa rushed over to you. there you convulsed on the ground, your eyes white and pupil-less, and your mouth foaming, turning a slight twinge of pink. you let out small grunts, completely unresponsive. "oh my god, oh my god, hey, hey listen to me." oikawa was already in full-fledged panic mode, tapping your face with his hand. "oh my god, SOME PLEASE HELP HER!" the few left in the library looked over at oikawa, then at you, before beginning to run about. one was on their phone speaking to a 911 operator, another rushed out of the room. one kneeled alongside oikawa, checking helplessly for a pulse. "protect her head." a girl read out from her phone. oikawa immediately shed his jacket, placing it under your head which was hitting the ground rapidly to the incongruent rhythm of your convulsions. "check her bag, does she have any meds?" "SHE'S MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND I THINK I'D KNOW IF SHE HAD MEDS!" oikawa shouted. he didn't mean to snap, but he felt so useless. were you hiding this from him? how did he not know you had seizures? were they always this bad? despite what he'd told the unnamed student, oikawa, jumped up, grabbing your bag and nearly ripping the zipper with the force he'd opened it with. no medication. "no meds." he said, quieter this time. a hand rested on his shoulder. "it's gonna be okay, man. look, she stopped." oikawa whipped his head over to you, chastising himself for removing his eyes from you for even a second. you were still breathing, but it was like you were in a deep slumber. by the time the EMTs arrived, however, you'd begun blinking your eyes lazily at your surroundings.
- "hey oikawa." you said, smiling. oikawa said nothing in return, his head in his hands. you sat there for a moment, taking in your surroundings. "wait a minute, where am i?" you felt a tickling inside your nose. at the touch of your hand, you realized you had a breathing tube hooked up you. another glance around the sterile hospital room showed your heart rate monitor and other cords wrapped up around the hospital bed. you laughed, "...and what's all this stuff on me?" "you had a seizure." oikawa said sharply, though not unkind. you stared at him once more in disbelief. "...really?" "yeah. I came back from getting our drinks when...when I found you lying on the ground, shaking. the doctor says you bit your tongue, which explains why the foam that was coming out of your mouth was pink. they want to do an MRI on you." "oh." you gazed down, then met his eyes again. "you... had to deal with that all by yourself?" "other people in the library helped me... though I don't think I was the nicest guy to be around. its sort of all of a blur." you smiled, "for me, too. I can barely remember what we were talking about before I woke up." oikawa's eyes widened, "really?" "yeah... but I think I'll be okay, as long as you're here." "this hasn't happened before, has it?" "no, not really. I mean, I've always gotten light-headed easily, which is sort of how I felt before I, ya know... went down... but never like that. I don't think. then again, if I wasn't here in a hospital bed, I think I would've just thought I fell asleep or something. it just feels like I took a long nap. still kind of tired, honestly." oikawa shook his head. "I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again." "oikawa, seriously. it's gonna be okay. I'm fine. nothing bad happened, right? I didn't die." "BUT YOU COULD'VE!" he shouted. "...you could've.." he said again in a whisper. suddenly, he got up. leaning over the hospital bed, he pressed his lips to your temple, leaving a soft kiss in its wake. "I just... I don't want to see you suffering. I don't want you to get hurt." "but you were there." "but what if I wasn't?" "but you were." you slid your hand over his own. "oikawa, it's gonna be okay, I promise. I'm a little scared, too, but... I know we'll figure something out, okay?" he let out a mix between a sigh and a laugh, "why does it feel like I was the one who had the seizure? some boyfriend I am, making you feel worse." "oikawa shush." you placed you index finger over his lips. "you're not allowed to talk about yourself in that way in my presence." he rolled his eyes, but his dimples popped out in a wary smile. "you're amazing, you know that?" you imitated deep-thought, your finger on your chin. "hmm... no, doesn't ring a bell." a full grin bloomed across his face now. "then I'll spend the rest of my life reminding you."
a/n: romanticize the source of your medical bills girlies 💕 it works wonders
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milktei · 1 year
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When you write angst/fluff one shots, I love how you indulge more with your character's feelings and not just straight up jumping to the good part where everything's alright. Specifically during "Again" and "Fine". Would you mind writing the same stuff but with a bit of hostile management of actions whilst in a disagreement with the reader? Will writing for Kuroo or Ushijima okay? ( I think you've taken a liking to Sakusa so I'm not sure if you want the first two captains.) Anyhow, I'm frankly talking about a bit of viol3nce. In this view, how would they speak up their mind and resolve the matter maturely?
Of course when you're available, thank you for your time:3
Love Sealed in Gold
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Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!Reader
Genre: Angst, tiny bit of hurt/comfort
Warnings: Violence (not towards reader), Possible oocness again. Not edited :P
The pace that i managed to get this out is surprising even to me :o But i had an idea the moment i read the ask!! Isn’t that crazy???
the fact that it’s obvious that sakusa is my fav is kinda embarrassing ngl HAHA BUT i just enjoy writing for haikyuu so don’t worry about requesting people i haven’t written on!
hope you enjoyed this anon! i couldn’t in good conscious add anymore “violence” than i did. what i wrote is really tiptoeing the line for me.
That being said anyone who reads this please don’t take this as me saying to forgive everyone who acts like Ushijima does in this, of course every situation is different but i don’t want it to seem like this is acceptable behaviour and something a person should have to deal with and accept. Violence is a scary and serious thing especially in a relationship so stay safe!
Anyways the idea of using Kintsugi as a metaphor in writing isn’t exactly new but i hope you guys enjoy my take on it and how i wrote it :)
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The Japanese art of Kintsugi is a method of fixing broken pottery that has been popularized all over the world, romanticized even. Something about using the precious material that gold is (among other materials), to put something back together seems to tear into the hearts of people all over the world. So much so that companies even sell their own Kintsugi kits where you can break the provided pottery and put it back together yourself.
How ironic, to buy something only to break it and go through the tedious task of connecting all the broken pieces back together again.
Many hold the belief that kintsugi hold its own deeper meanings. Some say it shows that something breaking and being repaired shouldn’t be covered up, but instead embraced, as it is a part of that objects history.
A more pessimistic view on the subject could be the fact that no matter how beautiful the broken pottery looks, it will never be the same again.
As you stand looking at your boyfriend with only horror filling your body, you could only think about the same could be said for your relationship.
You knew from the get go that getting into a relationship with the Ushijima Wakatoshi was going to be a tough mountain to climb. Anyone from family, friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers had warned you of that fact.
From his personality, to his schedule and the demands that came with being a professional athlete; it seemed that everything was put against the two of you.
But he was the one to ask you out, to court you, the one who crossed the line from friends to potential lovers. That was something that no one could deny being surprised about.
Yes your boyfriend was intimidating, seemingly expressionless and emotionally constipated. But you loved him, and he loved you.
You could work around schedules, you understood why he works as hard as he does, and learning who he really was something that came with time.
As your relationship progressed you could really begin to see what kind of person he was, and how the most subtle changes in his demeanour could signal a change in mood.
But this behaviour was not subtle, it was pronounced, loud, it filled the entire room and made it difficult to breathe properly.
You could barely remember what you two were arguing about this time. Perhaps how you acted during a charity event? How he was running late to a date and didn’t text or call to let you know? it seemed to be a trend for you two in the last couple of weeks. Pick at every little thing one found less than pleasing and then getting mad when the other tried to defend themselves.
This cycle had been going on for far too long and both of you were tired of it, but at the same time too stubborn, too proud to admit defeat.
It was late, far too late for the both of you to be awake, it was far from an appropriate time for you two to be arguing at the volume you were, but whatever exhaustion either of you felt was smothered by a whirlwind of emotions and stubbornness.
Ushijima wiped a hand down his face in frustration from where he sat at the dinner table. Across the room you paced, ranting about your point in the argument that had only been going in circles at this point.
“I-it’s like you can’t even bring yourself to care anymore!” you exclaimed frantically.
A piercing glare was sent your way and it took everything in you to not shrink away from it.
He stood up, with his size, the action in itself felt extremely intimidating, but you felt the way he talked down on you much more severely.
To further articulate his words, a palm would slam down on the surface of the table, so hard that you could feel the vibration in the floor. Each slam was louder and each time you flinched.
His words grew harsher, louder, and more pointed with each sentence. The look of pure, searing anger and hatred on his face kept you frozen in your place.
The man in front of you was unrecognizable, the man in front of you was not the gentle giant you loved. If anything, he was exactly like how many people would describe him upon meeting him. If not worse.
His words, which had now become shouts swirled in your mind, your eyes began to sting as tears began to well in your eyes. All you could think about was how you wanted this to stop, how if only your body would listen to you and move so that you could begin to ask for forgiveness. How you would give anything right in that moment for him to stop yelling and to stop looking at you like you were dirt on his shoe.
Your prayers were soon answered by the sound of shattering ceramic.
The gasp you let out was visceral, uncontrollable, you couldn’t hold it back if you tried.
The fire in his eyes seemed to die out all at once, his gaze moved to his outstretched arm and he look at it as if it had a mind of its own.
His arms were his prized possession even if he never said it out loud, some would go as far to say that they were something to be celebrated. His arms that can hit a volleyball with the utmost precision, arms that brought him to victory and through loss. Strong arms that held you at night and provided you with a great amount of comfort some could only dream of.
Arms that now only served to fill your body with dread.
A vase, along with all its contents was shattered on the hardwood floor.
It had chipped the paint on the wall beside him where the impact initially happened, water that splattered the surface had begun dripping to the ground.
You both recognized the vase, how could you not?You had gone out together to buy it when he had brought you flowers for the first time and you had realized you had nothing to put them in. After moving in together, you used it as a center piece for your dining table.
How sad that an item so fragile and small could hold so much meaning, and that it now lay broken, it was almost as if it were mocking you.
The room was silent as the both of you stared at the scene before you. Minds reeling as you both tried to process the events that had just unfolded.
Ushijima had thrown the vase at the wall in a fit of anger.
“y/n-“
“Don’t”
You looked up at him and wondered if the conflicted emotions that flickered across his face mirrored your own.
You looked away and took a shaky breath. “An apology won’t fix it. You can’t throw and break something, especially not that, and just expect me to be able to hear and accept an apology, not now, not for this.”
His mouth snapped shut and the tension that filled the room was suffocating. Every time you glanced at the broken ceramic the urge to cry grew and grew.
You wrapped your arms around yourself and took a step back, “I’m…” You swallowed roughly as your voice cracked, “I’m going to the bedroom, you need to clean that up and it’s obvious that we need time to cool down.”
With one last glance at the scene, you turned on your heel and made your way towards your shared room, not seeing the look of anguish that Ushijima held on his face as the watched you leave his sight.
You softly closed the door behind you and as it clicked shut, the realization of what had just transpired fell upon you like waves during a storm.
Despite popular belief, Ushijima had never been an intentionally violent man. The only harm he had caused was on the court, where it wasn’t uncommon for athletes to get injured no matter how good or bad they played.
But tonight, he had no reason to do what he did, there was no excuse even if it was the nth argument of the week. The Ushijima you knew was emotionally intelligent enough to know that he did not have to go through the actions of picking up the vase and throwing it at the wall in order to let his anger be known. He did not need to do that to show you how angry you made him.
His anger had been shown all throughout the night. It was practically palpable.
Your legs shook underneath you as you tried to make it to your bed but your efforts were in vain, you crumpled to the cold hard floor, feeling like you were in pieces, much like the ceramic on the floor of your dining room.
You desperately tried to hold yourself together as you replayed the what had just unfolded again and again in your mind. Not understanding why you felt so conflicted.
Fear. You realized.
Fear is what you felt, refused to believe. How could you fear the one you loved?
And yet every part of your body rejected the idea of your boyfriend and urged you to be afraid of him. Afraid of the only man who could make you as happy as he did.
The man who was supposed to make you feel loved, protected, and safe was the same man that made you feel the complete opposite.
Your chest ached and you breathing quickened, now fully aware of the situation you found yourself in. You were afraid of your boyfriend and didn’t know what that meant for the future of you relationship.
He was- is all you ever want, you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone but him, but how were you supposed to move on from this? You now knew how he could react in times of great anger, what if it only got worse from here?
It was then that you finally allowed yourself to cry. After all that had happened you didn’t know where your relationship stood.
It was only after a couple minutes that the door to the bedroom began to open ever so slightly, at a pace so slow you couldn’t even see or hear it through your sobs.
“y/n?” His voice managed to spit out. He was quiet, uncertain, he feared for what your reaction may be at him being there at that moment.
You didn’t respond to him but he knew that you knew he was there, even as sobs racked your body and you pressed a hand to your mouth in a feeble attempt to quiet them.
Slowly, as if not to startle a deer in the forest, Ushijima sank to the floor from where he stood. Keeping an eye on you as he sat down, angling himself so that he was looking at the far wall and you wouldn’t be forced to make eye contact if you could find it in yourself yourself to look up at him.
This was far from ideal to him. He wanted nothing more than to scoop you into his arms and bring you to bed, quiet your cries as he held you tight and told you that it would pass and by the morning it would be a thing of the past.
But he knew better. He knew that he was the reason for your tears and the last thing that you needed was for him to wrap his arms around you.
He was aware of your fear before you were. The horrified look you gave him would be something that would stay engrained in his mind for years to come.
He was only used to you looking at him with love and happiness in your eyes and he had managed to ruin that in one night.
“I know that you don’t want an apology right now.” Ushijima started, he looked down at his hands and clenched them together to prevent them from trembling. “But I just wanted to let you know that… I am fully aware of how unacceptable my actions were tonight, that was no way to take out my anger and I should know better than to display my anger in the way that I did.”
Your cries had stopped at this point but you still trembled, still it brought him the smallest amount of comfort knowing that you were likely listening to him now.
“You deserve better than my misplaced anger, and you have every right to be angry with me, to not want to even be in this room, in this house with me right now. If you wanted to leave-“
His breath hitched and he found himself looking down at the hands in his lap with disgust and sadness.
“If you wanted to leave right now I would understand, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”
Your head lifted ever so slightly and it gave him the confidence to keep going,
“I’ll get help, I’ll find other ways to channel my emotions. Along with that I’ll ask you for your feedback on how you think I’m doing, if what I’m doing makes me worthy of being with someone like you. It won’t start more fights I promise.”
He smiled at himself sadly “You seem to know me better than I know myself at times and that’s one of the reasons I fell in love you. I don’t think I could forgive myself for losing you if I didn’t put as much effort into trying as I could.”
The room was filled with silence once again as Ushijima finished talking. He sighed to himself. He hated this, he hated what he had done to you two, he hated that he was the reason for your tears and he hated that he was feeling completely helpless at the moment, and that you were well within your right to end everything, and there would be nothing he could do.
Your hand grazes his shoulder and he has to do a double take to ensure that you were there. Right at his side like you always had been for the years you had been dating.
Your smiled was coupled with sadness and exhaustion, and he couldn’t hold back the sound of surprise that left him as you wrapped your arms around him and let yourself press your weight into him.
He let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding and allowed his arms to finally reach for you, the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into his lap and he held your head close to his chest, you could hear his heart pounding and could feel his entire body tremble. He kissed the top of your head and let his head rest on top of yours. When he realized how instinctively he was acting, he froze.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to act so suddenly I-“
You shushed the man and ran your stroked his arm soothingly in an attempt to calm him.
“I understand.”
Quiet filled the bedroom and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel oppressive, or hot with anger. It felt comfortable as it always should have.
Ushijima was the first to break the silence. “We’ll be okay y/n, right?”
The question was almost childish, naive, and ignorant of how many more questions would be raised answering it.
But it was purely Ushijima. Something that only Ushijima would ask in a time like this, he knew about the complexities, knew it would be hard to answer, but he asks anyways.
You ponder for a moment, knowing that no matter how you answered, there was still always the chance that everything could still turn out very differently that whatever you two could imagine.
“We’ll have to work towards it Toshi, and it might be a slow process, but from the bottom of my heart. I believe in us.”
Strong arms hug you tighter, filling you with that familiar warmth
“Thank you.”
Kintsugi is the art of repairing what was once broken by adding something precious to the mix. When used as a philosophy it encourages the acceptance of fragility, coming back from hardship stronger than before, and being proud of something imperfect.
Something that is repaired using this method will never look the same, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it still holds a unique beauty to it and will continue to function, as long as it is done properly and handled with care.
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babeeangel · 11 months
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Hello !! I saw that your requests were open so I wanted to know how you think the bllk would react if their s/o asked for a break or a break up with them ?? Actually i read your work on it and it was very well written (hurts my heart ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ) so I was curious about that.
Anyway have a good day~~
“let’s break up” - how the bllk boys would react
Hello lovely ! Are you doing great ? Was my response quick enough ? Anyways, i wrote short fics instead of headcanons, i feel like they are more suited. But if you wish, I can write them in hc forms ! Specific characters can also be requested for a part two~  enjoy and don’t cry too much~~
Blue Lock angst: breaking up with Isagi Yoichi and Itoshi Rin
Isagi - swear words, toxic behaviors from both ends, no one is right\an example to follow tbh TT - 1,2k
It had been a while. That Isagi was ignoring you. Your hugs, your texts, the cooked meals you always put aside for him. You lifted your head and looked in front of you. It was so dark now it hurt your eyes. The afternoon had gone by in a blink of an eye. You had sat on the couch and next thing you know you’re on the floor, back against the living room rug, still crying. Everytime you dried up your tears, a few minutes of thinking were enough for them to start rolling down your cheeks again. Purposeful or not, did it even matter ? And you had rehashed thoughts and fake conversations so much by now, that you started convincing yourself he avoided you deliberately, to have fun and make you cry. 
The dim sky barely lit up the room, it was hard for you to distinguish the furniture around you. Everything was a grayish blue. Inside and outside. You and your surroundings. When you heard keys in the lock, you took a deep breath, eyes closed. The door creaked open. 
“Hey ba-” The voice that started talking with so much enthusiasm abruptly stopped. “Why’s it so dark ?” Without even warning, Isagi turned the switch on. Ow. It hurts your eyes so much. Yet you continue blankly staring at the coffee table. “Practice was so tough today. Hum, Y\N where are you ?”. You could feel him searching left and right for you. So used to it huh, you greeting him the second he arrives, a warm smile on your face, the table set behind you. There was a last time for everything, but none of you knew that yesterday was the one. “Oh well.” Quickly giving up, you heard his duffle bag hit the floor. He left everything as it was, heading for a shower. 
“I’m here.” Your expression still being as empty, not even looking in his direction, you got up. Your hand helping you lift your weight, you finally revealed yourself to him. From your peripheral vision, you could see his smile getting wider as he saw you. Not that you cared. You didn’t even bother to look at him when you pronounced that dreadful sentence: “We need to talk”.
“Do we ?” Isagi’s smile instantly dropped. But it made you furious. Instead of an apprehensive, concerned expression, he seemed annoyed. That bitch is gonna complain again right ? That’s probably what he was thinking. Couldn't he at least fake being scared for your relationship ? “Well i must. I’ll tell you something. Although I'm surprised you have nothing to tell me. Nothing’s been bothering you ? Everything alright, a-ok ? La vie en rose ?” You still didn't look at him, though you were walking in his direction, your eyes were empty. “What, does something seem wrong to you ? To me nothing h-” Ugh ! He was so ! Infuriating ! Why was he acting all cool, all unbothered, disdainful ? “Something ?! Something ?! Everything !”
You finally looked at him. Right in the eyes. You hadn't realized that anger had taken over your sadness. “How can you dare to pretend things are going right ? Have some respect, for me, and yourself !” “Okay okay, what will you whine about today ?” Isagi answered right away. “My fangirls ? How you wanna meet my friends ? The fact you’re convinced my parents dislike you ? Everything we’ve been through again and again.” He had an arrogant tone, almost laughing at you. “You always have something to bring up. I’m getting tired of your childish complaints”. 
Right where it hits the most. You scoffed. “Okay. Okay then. You’ll be so glad to hear what I've got to say”. You too started putting on a derisive expression. “At first I was sad. But now I'm thinking, how could you let yourself be treated this way, love ?” You were walking around the living room, in a theatrical way, gesturing to yourself and raising your eyebrows faking concern. “Isagi. You looked at him. I’m not gonna let you neglect me again, let alone pretend I'm the one who’s wrong. You and I… We’re over”. You looked at him almost satisfied. You-from-4-hours-ago would've never believed that, out of all the feelings you could have felt when asking to break up, amusement would have been the one.
And what you saw was even more delightful. Isagi’s expression turned from scoffy to utterly shocked. He did not see that coming. After all, to him, you had become someone who would just complain… Not actually take action. Little did he know everything he took for granted was going to disappear. As quickly as you would. Suddenly his whole world fell upon his feet.
You smiled, walking closer and closer to him. His sad expression.. It was almost fulfilling now. So taken aback, Isagi couldn't move, he only looked you in the eyes, full of despair. His eyebrows were wavering, his eyes were starting to get glossy from tears welling up, he tried to blink. You approached your face dangerously close to his. Your noses were almost touching, but you didn't budge though. You looked at him deep in the eyes, feeding on his pain. “Can you finally feel what I felt ?” Your tone was full of resolution. You stayed for a few seconds, just to pressure him, until you stepped back. You took each of his arms, and looked at his face again. “It’s okay. You’re a resilient boy, you’ll get through this”. You put on a fake pout, mocking compassion. “It’s not like I mattered much to you anyway, right ?”. 
You violently let go of him, shaking his arms with strength, your smile fading away. “Now go”. You walked right past him, took your keys, your bag and left. It was his apartment, and you still had some stuff left. After all, it’s not like you had planned to break him up today, he just brought it upon himself. The way you moved made it look like you were unaffected. You swiftly opened the door and exited. You walked with resoluteness, steady walking, chin up through the hallways, up until the elevator. 
On his side, it took Isagi a few seconds to register what had just happened. He was still standing there, blankly when you left, not even trying to get you back. So confused. Until it hit him. It hit him so hard. Tears started rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably as he fell to the ground. What had he done ? How did he allow himself to lose you ? The corny saying that you ‘only notice something when it’s gone’ finally had meaning. As he played in his head every little thing he was already missing from you, a crushing feeling of remorse dawned upon him. Finally, he realized everything he’d done wrong while going out with you, and to add to the burden he now bore, he finally saw that that’s what you had been complaining to him about. Everything you had said, you were right. 
Knees to the ground and hands shakily wiping off his tears, Isagi thought he’d never see the end of it. He wanted you back. Maybe if he called you, apologized, no, maybe if he, ugh it was in vain. He just wanted to tell you he’s sorry. But was he ? Maybe the two of you were not meant to be. He looked at his hands and got up, wiped his tears. Actually… you were wrong. He did everything right. But you were an ungrateful lucky lover. 
Obviously, it’d end up like this. You broke down crying in the elevator. How foolish were you, to think he’d be affected. Like it always happens, you were the one hurt, and he didn't question himself. If just once it could’ve been reversed. 
Rin - 1k2 words
Even though the lights were bright and the crowd was loud, it's like you weren't there. Everyone around you was keenly embroiled, but you could barely distinguish the players on the field. You had come to watch your boyfriend play, just like you’d watched every other game of his from this season. But this time, you couldn't force yourself to get into it. Your vision was blurry, you know, when you can't focus your eyes on something ? You see it happen from afar, you’d like to catch every detail of it, but your eyes just won’t let you. It happens when you’re tired, or when you don’t put in enough effort. You could not concentrate, too busy thinking.
You were sitting in the vip spot, all alone, unfilled seats surrounding you, an empty, almost sad, look on your face. You knew what would come after the match. And as boring as the game felt to you today -even though it wasn’t- you didn't want it to end. Because it finishing meant you also had to finish something. Something you had to say to Rin. He scores, smiles faintly and glances at your direction. 
But you weren’t looking at him anymore. When you watch him these days… You don’t feel anything anymore. If you could force yourself to do so, you would have already done it a while ago. Every candle you blow is accompanied by the same wish, to restore the feelings you once had for him. It would feel so much easier if you could continue on pretending. What’s wrong with you ? He’s the dream guy…
You stared into space, and suddenly your ears rang louder than before. You looked up to see that the match had ended. You take a deep breath, faintly smile as you know your boyfriend is looking at you, and get up. Time to face reality. As you make your way to the backstage to meet him, you start thinking. You still have that surreal, high on over-stimulation feel, but your thoughts start clearing up: this might be the worst time to do what you’re about to do. He had just won a match, almost single-handedly carrying his team, and his season was far from over. It would most likely break his spirit. But you just felt like being selfish… Once again. Feigning this much, you can't do it longer. There was nothing left anymore that made you want to stay, apart from the objectivity that Rin himself, is what anyone would wish for. Even that was obvious to you, but it wasn’t enough anymore. Nowadays looking at him is like looking at a dessert when you’re not hungry. You don’t even want it, it wouldn’t satisfy you. 
You feel the coldness of the metal stair rail you’re trailing your fingers on. It brings you to where you ought to go. “Y\N”. His voice is just as cold. You used to dig that, though. “I did good, didn’t I?” “You sure did”, you answer, looking at the floor. “Look Rin, there’s something I wanna tell you. I’m sorry for being brutal. I want us to break up”. 
The whole room paused. Oh yes, because at this point, I might as well do it in a room full of people. They were bound to find out anyway. Rin’s feeble smile totally faded. His mouth was even slightly opened from shock. “Le-let’s take this elsewhere”. Rin had put a serious face on and sharply grabbed your wrist, dragging you rather inconsiderately in the staircase. No one came here ever. The sound resonated so well, it was almost scary. If someone were to pass by, they would hear everything. “Why so sudden ?”
You were so ashamed. You frenziedly shook your hand off his grip, still looking at the floor. “I don't know. It’s been on my mind a while. It just took me some time to muster the courage”. Lies. “That’s odd. It’s selfish, but I wish you’d never told me”. Rin took his hand to your chin, raising your head up so you’d look him in the eyes. You tried to escape, and look left or right, but you felt emeralds piercing right through your eyes. You looked straight up. You were most definitely going to miss this perfect face. His cold hands and towering stature. “Tell me the truth now”. He commended and you obeyed, as always:
“I dont love you anymore”. You glossy lips rested pouty. It was almost criminal, saying this while staring at him dead in the eyes. He roughly let you go with a ‘tch’, making you lose your balance. “That’s it huh ?” His back was turned but you could feel the disappointment in his voice. Not sad, just let down by your lack of effort. He was right though, if you were to end it, you could’ve done it nicely. You didn't know what to do as he wasn't speaking anymore. “Are you okay with that ?” What stupid thing to say. You looked at him, waiting for an answer. “Okay. Let’s break up”. Rin finally turned to you. You felt your heart fall to your chest, so heavy. Why now ? You’d rehearsed this conversation over and over, you knew well you didn't have feelings for him anymore. So why is it hurting ? Why now ? Rin walked to what you thought was closer to you, but shifted before. He was going for the door. “Tomorrow, come pick up your stuff at my place. If you can’t, please text my maid, she’ll get it sent to your address”. You started feeling tears welling up and your throat itching. “Is that all ?” You got walking too, to reach Rin. 
Pushing Rin’s chest with both your hands, you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier. But he barely budged. Your voice cracked: “Come on, react ! I don't know, throw a fit, cry, disrespect me, act like you care ! Grab my shoulders and shake me, shove me to the wall !” You were totally breaking down. Tears were now rolling down your flushed cheeks, your hands were shaking, rested on his chest. 
“Is that wrong for me, to love you so much I'll accept everything you do to me ?”. You looked up, surprised to hear him answer. “If you want to break up, I'll accept, because I'd do anything and everything for you. I love you like that ! I’m so hurt but I'm trying to keep it cool so you don’t regret your decision. If you came to realize how terrible you’re treating me right now, you would feel bad. Let me pretend I'm the bad guy so you walk away with a clean conscience.” His words sunk into you. “What, did you, on top of treating me like this, expect me to plead with you to stay, to change your mind ? I’m all yours, but I'm no beggar.”
Rin finally pushed you off him, looking down on you. “It’s over, goodbye”. The sound of his voice and the door shutting closed resonated in the staircase. It felt so alone. You stood there shaking from the cold and crying. It might be better like this.
A\N: ngl, these are borderline corny, ooc, and took me way too long to write TT. Next time i'll write HC maybe. Advices anyone ?! not rly proud of these.
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comicaurora · 1 year
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As a writer for this comic, scripts for videos, or what have you, have you found writing ever gets easier? Like with visual art you can study references or practice and eventually see results but just throwing more words on a page doesn't feel like it has the same tangible improvements. There are clearly authors out there who can certainly fill pages and either could not or chose not to improve things my favorite examples being from "men writing women". So yeah part of it is knowing what not to write I guess, but is there a way of seeing writing improvement you know of?
I think it's certainly harder to see, but writing absolutely does get easier with practice. Like most art forms, it's a matter of figuring out how to translate what's in your head into a tangible thing on the page. That can be very difficult and counter-intuitive. For instance, because I think of storytelling in a very visual way, my first instinct on prose writing is to describe everything in terms of visual detail, but the problem is, this does not actually work in writing.
The greatest strength of prose writing is thoughts and feelings - to communicate exactly what is going on in a person's head, and to inspire the audience to internally craft an image that matches the feeling the story is communicating. This is something no other art form can communicate so readily, because every visual art form is on a certain level on the outside looking in at the characters. And frankly prose writing is not very well-equipped for detail-oriented visual description. If you try, you often end up with something that doesn't really paint the sort of word picture you might be looking for.
"I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow."
(from My Immortal, natch)
This, detail by detail, is very clear about what the character is wearing, except if you read it you have to mentally arrange all the pieces yourself. Black corset, okay. Black leather miniskirt - really? Okay. Pink fishnets - cool. Black combat boots, all right, great, that's the clothes done. Oh god there's more-
But the exact specifics of what this character is wearing really don't matter, do they? It matters more the feeling they're inspiring by their appearance - what their appearance communicates to the audience, what their character is. Compare to how Terry Pratchett characterizes a different goth-trending young woman in his Discworld novel Thief of Time:
"Miss Susan wore black, which the headmistress disapproved of but could do nothing about because black was, well, a respectable colour. She was young, but with an indefinable air of age about her. She wore her hair, which was blond-white with one black streak, in a tight bun. The headmistress disapproved of that, too — it suggested an Archaic Image of Teaching, she said, with the assurance of someone who could pronounce a capital letter. But she didn’t ever dare disapprove of the way Miss Susan moved, because Miss Susan moved like a tiger."
What exactly is Susan wearing? What is her makeup situation? What's her bone structure, her hair texture, her build? We don't know, and yet we can clearly visualize in our mind's eye exactly what she looks like. Except that visualization will be different for everyone, because it draws from the reader's internal knowledge of what these various things might mean. She wears black, she's young, she's a teacher, and she moves like a tiger. We don't need to picture it the exact way Terry Pratchett visualized it to know exactly what that means. And because she's being framed in the context of being disapproved of by a character in authority who nevertheless clearly can't do a damn thing about it, we learn a lot about this character just by the way the story narrates around her.
This is the kind of thing that a writer figures out with practice - what actually needs to be communicated to the audience for the story to have the impact it needs. And what doesn't need to be communicated, because the audience can be trusted to fill it in on their own. A writer doesn't need to spend three pages describing the luxurious embroidery on a beautiful ball gown if "she was wearing a gorgeous confection of satin and lace" or "she had been carefully zipped into a very impressive bodice" or "she was looking beautifully miserable in her ball gown" or "she sat with the grace and poise of an empress enthroned in her satin skirts" would do the trick in terms of helping an audience get the point.
And once a writer has gotten a feel for how to communicate what they want to communicate cleanly and simply, they can start figuring out how they might want to get weird with it.
"Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath."
(From Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
There are so many ways to describe a character on the verge of unconsciousness, and this is a buckwild variation, because it doesn't feel like it should work except that it totally does. We don't need to know what that looks like because we know exactly what that feels like, and we're readily invited to extend that metaphor into Arthur Dent's slippery grasp on reality.
"Lady Ramkin’s bosom rose and fell like an empire."
(From Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!)
What does that mean? What does that look like? It doesn't matter, we somehow absolutely get the point. This is a woman who moves with the power and gravitas of a battalion of soldiers and is often described in terms like "a galleon." We know how we're supposed to feel in this moment.
Words and language are incredibly precise and powerful tools, and what you need to use them for depends entirely on the kind of story you're telling, so the more you write, the better you'll get at using words for your specific purposes. This is why legalese is functionally its own dialect of English - lawyers try to use words to create completely precise, ironclad statements that cannot be misconstrued or manipulated, and it's pretty much incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't been trained in it because that is not what English is usually for.
The progress might not be as easily visible as art improvement, but it'll be there when you look for it, or when you revisit your older writing. You'll wonder with hindsight why you made certain decisions, or be frustrated with how inefficiently or blandly you communicated the point you wanted to make, or how much you undercut your own intentions because you weren't confident in your style. The more you write, the more easily you'll move through the medium of language and the better your work will become.
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ckret2 · 6 months
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What is the equivalent of the phrase "Oh my God" that Bill uses? Is he mentioning some god figure from his home dimension or is he using “Oh my me” or “Oh my Axolotl”?
He doesn't use anything.
Have you ever heard an atheist say "oh my big bang" instead of "oh my god"? In common usage, the word "god" in "oh my god" is merely part of a stock phrase and not a declaration of belief. In fact, changing "god" to another term would instantly make it more religious, since if you just say "oh my god" it's like "well maybe they believe in a god or maybe they're just using the phrase," but if you say "oh my [something else]" it's like "they DEFINITELY believe in [something else] so passionately that they changed the phrase just to emphasize how much they believe in it."
If Bill ever used the phrase, he would use it like a foreign word pronounced omaigohd that's just an exclamation that communicates a specific emotional meaning to English-speakers (anger, shock, excitement)—and he's not going to get all cutesy while speaking a foreign language to draw attention to something irrelevant. This exclamation isn't an avenue to announce his religious beliefs.
There ARE issues he feels passionately enough about that he'd break away from common English. Unless he's in "pretending to be human" mode, at any place where a human would naturally refer to themself as "a person," "a woman/man," "female/male," "she/he," Bill will refer to himself as "a shape," "a triangle," "triangular," "it," even in contexts where that sounds weird to the humans. His gender is triangle and that matters to him. Religion does not.
At any rate, there's no [something else] he could fill into the phrase. He knows for a fact that there are figures powerful enough to alter reality—he is one. He suspects on good evidence that there are even more powerful figures that can conjure an entire universe from nothing—he is not one. He considers "power" and "divinity" to be separate things, he doesn't think powerful figures are divine, and he doesn't think the divine is real. He thinks "god" is an artificial social label, like "king," that only exists when enough people concur that it's real and stops existing when enough people stop respecting it. He thinks "god" is what the weak call the powerful when they've been fooled into thinking the powerful deserve worship. He thinks he's one of the powerful that fools the weak. He doesn't think he's a god—except when he's lying to himself very well—but he loves how it feels when other people call him a god, so he encourages it. He doesn't consider anybody god, he doesn't obey or respect any authority, and generally the more powerful a being is, the more he dislikes them on principle. One trillion years ago, the beliefs he was raised with were the sort a white American boomer experiencing a religious crisis would insist are "spiritual but not religious." He briefly thought gods might be real in his youth, but never worshiped any.
But all that aside—his vocabulary simply doesn't include the phrase "oh my god." He doesn't want to imply he even might worship something—he's too proud and that pride is too fragile. If he has to make an exclamation, it'll be something entirely different—"Oh boy." "Oh, come on!" "You're kidding me." "Seriously?" "Whoa!" "Wow!" "No way," maybe hysterical laughter—whatever's fitting in a given situation. Several times in the fic I've had to go find a different phrase where if he was another character I could've just put "omigosh".
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oddlittlestories · 3 months
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I love Monk. I’m not really recommending it because, well, it IS about police and it DOES have some fairly ableist content. But I love it.
Monk is an interesting character. He’s introduced as having an “anxiety disorder” that occurred from the traumatic event of his wife being murdered. Over the course of the show, it becomes pretty clear that he was neurodivergent his whole life, but had a serious spike in support needs after his wife’s death. He has one nurse, but he should pretty clearly have two—even if one is a part-time respite nurse. Many of his “boundary violations” obviously come from seeking needed support at inappropriate times. This man should not really be left alone, at least not at the start of the show. He can’t cope. But also getting a new nurse / assistant / I forget the specific word is very very difficult for him.
He’s billed, I believe, as having OCD. But if you just look at his behavior, there are several labels that could fit. Autism would probably be one of them.
A lot of the humor in the show revolves around his disability, which could and may to some feel like the show makes his disability the butt of the joke. With some notable exceptions (fuck you medication episode) I don’t really think this is the case.
Let’s look at the pilot. Sharona, his nurse, goes on a date and leaves him alone on “chicken pot pie night.” She tells him, you’ll be fine! Even my son could cook a chicken pot pie. He cannot cook a chicken pot pie. He is counting out individual peas. To me, this is funny because of how obvious it is that he needs more support.
He literally calls her son for help. This is hilarious because it obviously wasn’t her intention, but her son is actually walking Monk through how to make a chicken pot pie. The literalism - that Benjy really CAN help him cook a chicken pot pie - is funny to me.
I’m also very interested in how the show interacts with both work and the police. Monk is not capable of working full-time, and although he desperately wants to go back at first, eventually he accepts that as a consultant, he can have the flexibility he needs to still find murderers.
The police officers he works with often feel threatened and embarrassed by him, but at the same time need his talents. Jealousy comes up often. And since the main officers are at least duly sympathetic, this gets explored as awful instead of brushed off as campy villainy from antagonists.
I also really like the way gaze is used in the show. Monk comes onto a crime scene and others watch as he makes a bunch of pronouncements, struggles with one anxiety or another, gets support from his nurse, and then explains his pronouncements. I like that it seems like folks are disturbed by his need for support, but that the show frames the support as a positive thing and the anxiety itself as a struggle.
Monk is also a person. He loved his wife. He plays the clarinet. He doesn��t have much time to pursue hobbies or interests outside of managing his disability and doing the work which he loves and seems compelled to do in equal measure. But he IS a person.
Anyways I’m not necessarily saying go out and watch it. It has many flaws and it is ableist at times, and it doesn’t bother to fully unpack how the people in Monk’s life respond to him, nor always to explore his agency and individuality. He is a fussy and fastidious detective, which is a common archetype, but they don’t always go as far beyond that as they should.
Like I said, it’s not House. But I’m gonna probably rewatch all of it now that it’s on Netflix.
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isolatedbubble · 7 months
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On Hua Cheng's individuality
Does Hua Cheng lack independence? I would say, yes, and purposefully so. However, it's more complicated than that.
HC considers it an honor what many readers criticize him for---that he literally dies and lives for this one person, "if your dream is to save the common people, my dream is only you."
BUT, for someone whose entire arc revolves around absolute dedication, HC surprisingly does have a strong sense of individuality, or to be more specific, independent thoughts, values and distinct personality traits aside from his devotion to XL.
In most cases, characters defined by romantic love & devotion lack individuality in the first place, and live vicariously through others, relying on love to find their inner sense of self, which I don't really consider a bad thing. HC is not like that; he does possess individuality, but he would forgo it instantly for XL.
HC's values were inspired by XL from the very start(otherwise it would be easy for him to turn into a more hostile person or just, you know, die at an early age out of despair), but he does not mirror XL, and is not afraid to speak his mind. For someone who considers devotion his top priority, HC's individuality is quite pronounced.
HC would never object to XL's decisions, except when XL is personally endangered. That said, he is crystal clear on what he personally considers right when their opinions differ: whether to save Mu Qing, how to run the gambling activities in Ghost City, the whole black water arc, etc. Furthermore, he does not hide his disdain for the Heavens throughout the entire story, even when XL could not possibly know why.
If this were one of those cliche love stories where the couple from different sides fall in love despite different values, TGCF would look genuinely creepy and unhealthy. This is because HC is unlike a normal person; he will not hesitate to sacrifice any sense of self he might have to serve XL's need, not even to earn his affection, just to make him feel better.
HC does smoothen his personality around XL; he is almost always playful and gentle, would never throw tantrums to XL under any circumstances. However, except for the initial "San Lang" facade where he approaches XL with his light and care-free side, HC does preserve whatever sense of self he has formed around XL. In the end, it's because XL loves HC for who he is, so he does not have to change any significant parts of himself after they reunite 800 years later.
When XL first got to know HC, his boundaries, gentleness, respect for HC's individuality and unspoken affection, make him unwilling to criticize anything about HC. As the affection grew deeper, XL's loves HC fully for who he is.
This intricate balance is hard to put into words, but I find it very fascinating.
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anakinsafterlife · 3 months
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Thoughts on Dune Part 2
All right, friends. Dune Part 2. I absolutely picked the wrong time to start wanting to return to Tumblr, since I'm currently in the thick of Ramadan, but c'est la vie. I'm a bit worried that if I don't review now that I might forget my specific impressions of the movie, though I have to say that if this weren't Ramadan that I absolutely would be going back to see it again in the cinema, which says a lot considering that it's been at least ten years since I've actually wanted to go back and repeat a film instead of just waiting for it to come out on streaming/DVD.
So the movie is good. It is in fact very, very good. It's the Empire Strikes Back of the Dune duology (possibly trilogy), and (much like Empire) in terms of cinematography, music, scripting and acting it's nearly flawless. There are, however, issues, things that might not occur to a majority-Western audience but which are immediately clear to anyone who either comes from an Arab or Muslim background.
What follows here is a deep dive into some of the historical and cultural sources of Dune and some of the ways in which the movie producers, and in some cases fans, have failed to acknowledge those sources.
First of all, it's obvious that the Fremen are meant to be based on the Arabs, but of the the entire main cast there is only ONE actor with an Arab background, and that is Souhaila Yacoub, the half-Tunisian actress who plays Shishakli, the female Fremen warrior who is executed by the Harkonnens. Now, I have to say that this woman was fantastic. Her attitude is completely on point for an Arab, especially a North African Arab: forceful, loud, a bit brash and mocking even under fire. Nicely done. Points to the producers there, but I have to take that point away again because she is literally the only Space Arab who is actually Arab. Javier Bardem, the Spanish actor who plays Stilgard, does have some interesting moments and one of the reasons why I feel that the screenwriters were advised on Arabic traditions/culture. The incident during which he warns Paul about the Jinn in the desert like it's a joke but then immediately turns extremely serious when Paul starts smiling is so in character for an Arab and honestly just a brilliant bit of scripting, but much of the time he also acted more or less like what people *think* a fanatical religious Arab acts like--loud, frantic and unstable.
Not only this, but the "Muslim" behaviour/traditions in the film are at best...vague. People are praying, but in any direction at all. I do realize that this would be a complicated issue on another planet, where the Ka'aba couldn't be pointed to, but there are Islamic rulings for EVERYTHING. Check out the one about praying in space:
Even if they had as a society simply picked a random direction for prayer, they should all be praying at the same time and in the same direction (they seem to do this in larger crowds, but not in the smaller group where we first see people praying). They also definitely shouldn't be talking during prayer or trying to make other people talk to them during prayer (as Chani does), since talking breaks your prayer and you have to start over all over again (during obligatory prayers).
Language, too, is an issue, and a big one, because while I do understand that a conlang was developed for use in this movie, the linguists consulted did know that the language was meant to be heavily influenced by Arabic. Consequently, they've included a lot of fragmentary Arabic in their work. Unfortunately this Arabic is poorly pronounced at best, to the point where I was looking words up and laughing at what they're meant to be based on. For example, "Shai Hulud," the word for the Worms, is based on the Arabicشيء خلود, which means "immortal thing," and should be pronounced with "shai" rhyming with "say" followed by a glottal stop, and the 'h' in "Hulood" is actually a guttural sound like the infamous "ch" in Bach, followed by a long U. Another example is Mua'dib مهذب , a real word in Arabic that means "teacher," but is is actually pronounced with a "th" sound instead of a d and emphasis on the second syllable, not on the last as in French. (Note: I made an error here. There is a word مؤدب , pronounced mostly the same in the movie, but with a glottal stop after the 'u' sound and a short 'i' after the d sound rather than a long vowel, that is usually used to mean polite, urbane, gentlemanly, etc. but which can also mean teacher, although I have never heard it used in this context) "Usul", أصول, Paul's other Fremen name, was likely not, as I had previously guessed, based on the word "Rasool," meaning Prophet, but on أصول الفقه the Principles of islamic Jurisprudence, which also ties directly into a religious/prophetic them. Again, this is pronounced on the long vowel, so with a short first U and a long second U.
I've included the Arabic spellings in here, by the way, so that you can drop them into Google translator and hear how they actually sound.
Now, I do realize that the story itself is set 8000 years in the future and that spoken Arabic as a language would have changed considerably in that time, if it existed still at all, but Arabic is a liturgical language as well as a vehicle for conversation, and Muslims all across the world today use it as a tool for worship. Muslims who have no cultural connection with Arabic often still learn it in order to connect more deeply with religious traditions and simply to perform prayers and other religious duties. Religious scholars consider it to be a necessary duty of the Muslim to learn at least some Arabic:
And keep in mind that the Arabic spoken today across the MENA region is very different (and different in different places) to the Arabic spoken 1400 years ago by the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him). Given Islamic traditions, the chances of the Fremen using liturgical/classical Arabic for their worship would be quite high, even if their spoken language had evolved past the point of being recognizably Arabic.
Keep in mind, also, that Dune as a whole is an allegory for colonialism, economic exploitation of poorer nations (or making rival nations poor through the same), as well as dehumanization of the views and needs of native peoples in order to make that exploitation palatable to the occupying forces (I thought that this was done quite smartly in Jessica's part of the story; although she is sympathetic to the Fremen, she feels that manipulating their religious traditions is the best way to protect her son, and in doing so she allows herself to dehumanize the people who come to rely on her).
It is, therefore, incumbent upon us not to distance ourselves too much from the intended message by claiming that Dune is fiction and need not too accurately reflect the culture and religion of the people that the Fremen are so clearly based on. The fact that the producers have done little to hire Arab actors or induced any real effort to accurately pronounce the Arabic words or accurately portrayal Islamic practices seems to indicate that they are concerned about identifying too closely with the economic and cultural struggle between East and West, properly because they fear the potential economic backlash, and this despite the fact that Frank Herbert clearly wrote his book to illustrate the fallout of that struggle.
Here is a wonderful article written by a culturally Arab woman:
There are numerous other articles addressing the same issues, but I like this one because it's written by a Muslim woman, who also addresses the "hijab cosplaying" in the movie. I didn't get into that much, but I definitely recognize that it's a problem when Muslim women worry about potential violence while wearing hijab in the streets of Western nations, but the same article of clothing is fetishized in movies and fashion.
I've also seen some comment about the Mahdi mention in particular. This is a saviour-figure in Islam who will come near the end of the world. There is no emphasis on this figure in Sunni Islam, but Shias seem to have a significant body of literature concerning this figure and, from what I understand, believe that he may perhaps have already come, and so there has been some poor reception in that community to applying the label of Mahdi to Paul. Criticisms ranging from insensitivity to outright blasphemy have been levelled regarding this usage. Now, there was some tip-toeing around the prophetic theme in Dune, and rightly so, I believe, since the Prophet Mohamed is the "seal of the prophets" in Islam, meaning the last and final. The fact that Paul was essentially set up as a false prophet by the Bene Gesserit does avoid some of the potential fallout from this, and also makes sense of Chani's rejection at the end of the film, since she felt strongly about Paul acting as a false Prophet.
Again, I am aware that there is internal cosmology within the series itself, and that some fans object to the religion of the Fremen being referred to as Islam, but when the inspiration for the entire ethnicity, religion, and the natural resources at stake are as clear as they are in this series, it's also futile to expect that people will not draw those associations, nor that people belonging to the religion or ethnic group in question may not acknowledge the beauty of the movie, the gorgeous cinematography, rousing music, and tightly plotted story, but still take exception to what is clearly Orientalism.
And it is frankly such a shame that we have to place this movie under that header, because the story of Dune is so sympathetic to the Middle East and its peoples, and as I said in the beginning I actually loved the film and found it very beautiful. It was also exciting to see Islamic themes used creatively in mainstream media, but while Frank Herbert clearly wrote the story as an exposition on the exploitation of natural resources, particularly oil, in the MENA region, the truth is that the racism and exploitation that he was protesting are very much alive today and contribute to the oppression of millions. It's particularly disappointing to see the message of the movie sail over the heads of people watching it when Arab Muslims in Palestine are being dehumanized and obliterated at this very moment, and while Libya was one of the latest Arab nations to be targeted for its oil resources, only a decade ago, with European oil companies moving in directly after the downfall of Ghadafi (which makes the timing extremely suspicious, one might say):
And even after the US finished their occupation of Iraq, Western oil companies remained en mass to continued drilling:
Egypt to this day remains economically destabilized while Western nations exploit its oil stocks, to no benefit at all of its peoples:
I'm sure I could cite dozens of other cases, but it's clear that there is a one-on-one parallel between spice melange and oil, making any protests of apoliticism in an inherently political story utterly vain.
I could go on, but I needn't. In short, this beautiful movie could have done so much good even beyond its obvious artistic merits, but instead it is still towing the political line. Much as was the case for Jessica and Paul, sometimes you can be a Harkonnen and not know it.
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dracdliweht · 2 months
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Me!
My username is near impossible to pronounce, (dracdliweht) so i hereby dub myself Delvet :3
I am the god of my fictional world (and possibly soon to be indie series maybe[?]) and i am a total ipad addict
Some things abt me:
Age: somewhere between 13 and 45, but no other details
Gender/sex: honestly i have no idea
Pronouns: he, she, they, it, toaster, whatever (any)
Sexuality: graysexual I think
some hobbies and stuff I like: animating, watching youtube, fictional characters suffering, sushi, looking at my notifications which are slowly gaining more activity, ducks, and the color gray
stuff i hate so you guys can bother me: transphobia, annoying people, inexperienced critics who complain about things they don't understand, and snap peas
A few of my characters!
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Drac Dliw, or just Drac, is an immortal shapeshifter. Their gender is yes, and they are about 2,044,169 years old. They enjoy shapeshifting and spying on people, and they definitely don't have an irrational fear of inverted cursors. Their soul is eternally bound to their body, so they cannot die or feel pain except for headaches.
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Shifter, the other immortal shapeshifter. He is 16,199 and male. He enjoys alcohol the wilderness, and he doesn't really like shapeshifting. He also HATES the word discord. He has no idea why. He can't die, but he can get hurt. Shifter's powers are more.. limited than Drac's.
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Talon the lizard mermaid! She is female, and is roughly 19. She also enjoys spying on people and the woods, and has a genuine disliking of water, specifically oceans. She isn't a shapeshifter, but she does have water bending abilities. She also has a very rational fear of capybaras.
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Flower the tortle! She is almost 7 years old, and she loves just about everyone and everything. The big flower hat on her head somehow never dies, and is very durable. (She's the least traumatized, as her backstory is still in the making)
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Sade, the half-robot lizard guy(kobold?). He's about 22 and male. He used to enjoys engineering and mechanics, and he hates bombs. (i wonder why AHEMGHH *intense coughing* excuse me) He always wears a black cloak.
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Artemis the Aarakocra. He is male and 48. He likes space and trees, and he hates.. *ahem* spiders, being called Artie, heights, mages, tieflings, and age. He has a robotic left leg from working in the army.
I have way more ocs I just haven't drawn them yet. (I don't know how to draw them yet)
Fanart* is allowed
*not exactly fanart since you guys don’t count as fans
Shipping isn't official yet (not that enough people will see this anyways) (also you could mayyybe ship Drac and Shifter but also maybe not idk it's a very bad ship that will implode into itself horribly)
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bthump · 6 months
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Wait why is it that in the famous “bthump” page the panels are put together in a way that gives the illusion that guts and griffith are facing each other when griffith’s heart goes bthump. We know guts is fighting zodd at that moment he cant be having a staring contest with griffith he has his back to him anyway. I feel like if u show that page out of context to anyone they’ll assume the two are looking at each other. Or am i going crazy? I mean i usually wouldn’t read too much into such a thing but i feel like miura actively uses paneling to convey certain messages throughout the story. He still could’ve just had a silly moment there idk
Because Guts is what's making his heart go bthump!
I have a post about the paneling specifically here, actually, but I'll get into it again because I feel like that explanation could be more detailed lol.
So basically they're positioned like that, Guts on one side of the panel, Griffith on the other, as a parallel and contrast to the final panel immediately before that page:
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Griffith is on the left, fetus is on the right. Fetus is Griffith's theory, or hope. I came here to test my heart and make sure I don't have feelings, and oops looks like I just failed that test while watching Guts fight a stronger opponent, notably similar circumstances to the first time I ever saw him. Hmm gotta be that fetus, surely these feelings aren't real.
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This is a conclusive counterpoint to Griffith's argument, stemming from reality rather than Griffith's thoughts. It's the final page of the chapter so it has greater weight than Griffith's fetus theory. It's composed similarly, Griffith on the left and the other possible source of feelings on the right - but Guts right there, and the fetus is only Griffith's thoughts, so Guts has more weight in that sense too.
And that final "......... bthump" is the perfect capstone, because it's essentially saying that Guts is causing that heartbeat. The final word of this chapter is Griffith's heart beating when faced with Guts.
The panel is composed like this despite not reflecting how Griffith is viewing Guts in reality, imo to hammer home the point that Guts specifically is the source of feelings. It's not the excitement of the fight, it's not Zodd, it's not even concern for Guts' life necessarily, it's just Guts, and the raw intensity Guts exhibits in the middle of a fight, the same thing that drew Griffith to him when they first met. This panel especially emphasizes their gazes - Griffith is gazing at Guts, but Guts isn't gazing at Griffith - but this could also suggest that Griffith would like Guts to be looking at him like that, with that same intensity.
It also parallels the two of them, the way they each get one half of a face. In the context of Griffith's singularity as The Absolute, and Guts' own tempation towards becoming a monster that becomes especially pronounced during fights, and the constant emphasis on power dynamics and the two of them wanting to be equals throughout the story, this arguably suggests the potential for the two of them to still be equals in ways that actually matter, despite Griffith being a god now. Guts humanizes Griffith here by making his heart beat, Griffith monsterizes Guts by enraging him.
And to be perfectly honest, I don't think it's a coincidence that Guts looks particularly good in this panel either lol. Guts here is essentially what Griffith is imagining he looks like as he faces Zodd. And it's something Miura does regularly imo. Characters become more attractive when they're the objects of certain gazes. I have a long post about Griffith from Guts' perspective here, but Guts also gets this treatment from Griffith's perspective during the rescue. There are probably heterosexual examples too, but I don't recall them offhand because that's not what I'm reading Berserk for. That second one is arguably half heterosexual anyway lol.
So yeah, basically imo the reason is: to emphasize Guts as the cause of Griffith's feelings, to parallel them, and to add some homoeroticism.
Thanks for asking!
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alltimefail-sims · 2 months
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Okay friends I need to talk about this little girl for a second because Shereé is so!!!!! freaking!!! cute!!!!! I can't stand it!!!
I didn't want to take the spotlight off of Terrance in my main submission post, but let's talk about Shereé a little bit!
Fun headcanons about the Chapman family below the cut! ❤️❤️❤️
When I was dressing her up and adding little details to each outfit category I wanted the baubles in her hair to be different colors to reflect my vision of Shereé sitting cross-legged on the living room floor while Terrance sits on the sofa behind her, swapping each one out to match her outfit for the day. 🥺💕
Also you can't really see them super well in the screenshots but she is wearing diamond studs in the shape of her favorite cartoon character, Hello Kitty! I imagine they were her first "big girl" earrings - the first ones she got to switch the standard piercing studs out with - and they were a birthday present from her dad!!
Speaking of ear piercings: when the Claire's associate pulled out the piercing guns Terrance was more scared than Shereé was lmao. He might have shed a tear or two because (1) when she initially flinched at the pain he nearly died and (2) he was hit with the overwhelming feeling that his baby girl is growing up waaaaaay too fast!
Shereé is kind of a picky (and bougie) eater and that's what got Terrance into cooking in the first place!! He was a chronic doordasher before she came around! When Shereé tries something at a restaraunt and likes it, Terrance enjoys the challenge of making the dish at home "but better." He's successful about 45% of the time 😒 (lol).
I said in the OG post that Shereé wants to be "a superstar" when she grows up and that's because she loooooooves to sing, dance, and play her piano! I imagine she would be a drama club and choir girly, but if ballet was a thing in game she would do that as well! I also imagine she goes to weekly private piano lessons. She's just super damn talented and Terrance will tell anyone and everyone in the vicinity about it!
Terrance lets Shereé try out her new nail polish colors on him and sometimes they will even play spa, dress-up, makeover, fashion show, etc. Terrance does not GAF about boy game this girl game that he's just gonna play and make his daughter happy!
Like her peers she was not immune to the TikTok influencer Stanley cup madness unfortunately, but she is "Way too mature" to bully anyone! But tbh if Terrance found out she was being a bully over a damn cup he would toss that shit in the trash with a quickness anyway 😂
Shereé can be heard saying "You're too grown for that daddy" at least once a day. He will never escape the childish allegations, not even from his own daughter lmao.
When I went into their household in game the first autonomous thing Shereé did was complain about the heat... so I guess she doesn't like summer very much and especially doesn't like hot weather 😂
Also I got an ask about how to pronounce Shereé and I would pronounce is SHER-RAY as opposed to SHER-REE, if that makes sense. (I couldn't find a video with this specific pronunciation but if you've ever seen The Real Housewives of Atlanta I believe Shereé Whitfield pronounces it like this as well!!!)
Okay I'm gonna shut up - I've gotten the oversharing about these characters out of my system (for now). I'll end this with the cute popups they got about each other in the literal miniscule 5 mins I spent in their household:
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Obsessed with them, genuinely and truly. My heart can't take it
***Please ignore that her accented 'e' is missing from the whims. I was just testing the household. Her name is correct now <3 These sentiments were too cute not to share though
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sleepingdeath-light · 7 months
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s/o who is half hawaiian hcs ; main cast
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requested by ; yesthetrashbin (09/05/23)
fandom(s) ; black butler
fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific
character(s) ; baldroy, our!ciel phantomhive, finny, mey rin, sebastian michaelis, snake
outline ; “Hi! After seeing your "mixed race hc" for Black Butler, may I pls request the main cast (of your choice) with a mixed race s/o from Hawaii? (Male or gn reader pls) I'm just self projecting rn, I was born and raised in Hawaii for a very small portion of my life but since I was a military brat, I lived in many different places. Now as an adult and living back in Hawaii, I have major imposter syndrome and for a whole year I never felt like I belonged here and ppl treat me differently for acting more haole... but feel free to disregard this request! Hope you have a good day/night!”
note ; this may not be a perfect portrayal of the reader’s requested experience as i (a) am not a part of this culture and had to do a lot of research, and (b) had to try and adapt whatever i could find to the time period bb is set in — apologies if any part of this piece feels off because of this
warning(s) ; brief references to period typical racism and feeling disconnected from one’s heritage, but mostly fluff!
Baldroy
bard tries his best to help you reconnect with your culture and heritage — namely through food and language — but he’s far from perfect and his pronunciation might just make you wince at first (he’s trying, really, he’s just also really not good with accents)
do not let this man hear about dishes like loco moco or kālua pig because he will try and recreate it for you and it will go horribly wrong — please, please, if you must, ask sebastian to oversee everything because otherwise you will be eating some charcoal (made with a lot of love and good intentions, but still definitely charcoal)
he calls you ‘ipa’ a lot, alongside his usual rotation of pet names like ‘babe’ and ‘hun’, and his pronunciation gets better and better over time — and if you comment on that improvement then he’ll get the cutest smile on his face and mention that he has ‘the best teacher’ (between you and the books he’s been studying, of course)
he practises a lot independently in the hopes of being able to impress you and your family in the future (a habit ingrained in him from his upbringing — the need to gain approval from the relatives of whoever you’re dating before marriage), but let it be known that he is struggling his way through the syntax and grammar as best he can — but of course he’ll end up coming to you for guidance when he’s truly stuck or realises that perhaps that’s not how he should be pronouncing that word (sometimes it just feels wrong, even to a new learner)
he has punched someone out cold for being cruel to you for your heritage before and he will do it again if the need arises — he has a temper and he can use it to his advantage (sometimes, anyway)
(our!) Ciel Phantomhive
he’s highly empathetic to you feeling out of place in your culture does whatever he can to help mitigate that uncomfortable feeling for you — usually by having sebastian do something or another
he uses a great deal of his sparse free time to learn the specific dialect your family uses, either from you or alongside you depending on how much you can recall, and whilst his pronunciation is imperfect the effort is definitely there (and you’ll often find him practising his annunciation and sentence structure in the late evenings between working through the startling pile of paperwork on his desk)
more hawaiian dishes and desserts are incorporated into the manor’s menu — thanks to sebastian — based on ciel’s research and your own memories of food you grew up with (his personal favourites are lomi salmon and malasada)
if you ever wanted to wear something closer in design or pattern to what you wore back home, then he’d happily commission you some garments from nina — granted they’d probably not be perfect replications of what you grew up with, but he’d make sure that they were as close as they could reasonably be
he’s not afraid to leverage his reputation, connections, and staff in order to protect you and threaten anyone who tries to make you uncomfortable or discriminate against you due to your heritage (his peers, usually) or, conversely, your disconnect from it (other members of your community back home)
Finny
finny finds everything about your heritage and culture to be so very interesting — whether that’s the food, the celebrations, the language, the clothing, or just the island that your family hails from itself (he did grow up in a lab after all, so an environment like that is one that he’d jump at the chance to go and visit)
he’s shockingly quick at picking up the spoken side of your dialect just from hearing you speak it, but reading and writing is a very different story — but he’s so very eager to learn and he wants to be able to help you reconnect with that side of your family in his own way (trying his best to start and maintain conversations in hawaiian throughout the day with you, occasionally pausing mid word to shake his head and correct his pronunciation slightly and asking you if that was right — grinning so broadly it reaches his eyes every time you let him know that he did good)
loves all of the food you grew up eating and will happily devour it and ask for a second helping — his personal favourites are the sweeter things like haupia and kūlolo but he also enjoys the more substantial/proper foods and will just eat whatever you put in front of him
doesn’t quite understand the concept of being ‘haole’ but gets deeply upset by the way you’re treated by some of the people on your island because you happened to travel a lot growing up, which in turn makes him more protective over you and clingy (likewise he gets very emotional and affectionate after someone mistreats you back in old blighty because of your heritage, apologising for how you’re being treated and angry that people could ever be so mean to someone he loves so much)
if he had the opportunity to go visit hawaii with you then this man would be in heaven, exploring the terrain and learning about all the new native plant life (even trying new fruits like lychee, papaya and pineapples, which are far too expensive for him to even consider looking at back home) — you will definitely struggle to get him indoors during your visit and he might just sleep outdoors if you let him
Mey Rin
mey rin can definitely relate to feeling disconnected from her heritage given that her parents passed away when she was young and her only exposure to anything from her home country was the gang that treated her terribly — so the journey to reconnect with your roots would be something she’d happily support you in
she’d join you in relearning the hawaiian language whilst she learns mandarin (well beyond the cusses and insults and derogatory terms that were tossed around in the gang) — exchanging terms of endearment like ‘ipo’ and ‘xīn gān’ as you each become more familiar with your own languages and each other’s
she’s happy to try any of the foods you grew up with (especially anything involving meat), but she’s not exactly the best cook and far too clumsy to be trusted in the kitchen, so you’ll have to take on most of the actual cooking — she’s happy to help fetch ingredients, though (and she’s yet to drop anything… key word being ‘yet’ but it’s a big achievement for her)
if you ever manage to scrape enough time off to go back to your home island then poor mey will be fretting and practising her hawaiian near religiously for weeks leading up to the visit (even practising to herself when she’s working) — she wants to leave a good impression on your family, after all, and is really anxious about getting their approval
she’s not afraid to stand up for you with brits or other hawaiians who try and look down on you because of your heritage and your relationship with it — she knows what ‘haole’ means and she does not like hearing you get insulted (and, as many people could tell you, she can be very intimidating when she wants to be)
Sebastian Michaelis
sebastian is the type of partner who would go above and beyond to help you reconnect (or keep connected) with your heritage even though you’re stationed an ocean away in england
he makes sure the kitchens are stocked with the ingredients necessary to not only feed the master and his guests, but to keep the taste of home close — even memorising the steps to making the perfect lau lau, poi, or haupia (amongst many other dishes) for whenever you’re feeling homesick
being a demon he also has an excellent capacity to acquire languages and dialects without having to do the same amount of active learning that humans do, meaning that he’s more than happy and able to sit and talk with you in your native language (standard or in regional dialects like the niihau dialect) or help you relearn if if it’s something you lost or never quite picked up for one reason or another
it’s not like he randomly incorporates phrases or words from hawaiian into his daily life or work, as he has no reason to, but when the two of you are talking it’s easy for him to slip into it as a more intimate and private thing for the two of you
he makes a point to help you visit your home island and family whenever possible, even at times twisting the young master’s arm to do so — ensuring that you’re able to make any celebrations, festivals, parties, or holidays that you might have otherwise missed (whether it’s a more personal gathering like a luau, or something more communal like the merrie monarch festival)
as one could expect of him, sebastian is incredibly protective over you and intolerant of any attempt to judge or discriminate against you from either side of the debate (brits for being too non-white and your community for being ‘too haole’) and will make his disapproval known in the most aggressively polite way possible (unless he can get away with actively threatening them without repercussions for you or the young master, at which point he might just outright attack the offending party)
Snake
snake is mostly a very quiet and introverted person but that doesn’t mean he’s unsupportive of you and your want to reconnect with your heritage — in fact he offers all of the support he can (using his wages to buy books, food and materials in the same styles that you grew up with just to make things a bit easier)
he knows what it’s like to feel like you don’t quite fit in anywhere and he has extremely little patience for anyone who treats you poorly for your heritage or upbringing — using his snakes and appearance to his advantage in order to intimidate anyone who even tries (he doesn’t speak enough hawaiian to know what ‘haole’ means but based on your reaction he knows it isn’t good and he doesn’t like you being called it as a result)
he’s a big fan of a lot of hawaiian dishes and will easily clean the plate whenever something is made — but his personal favourites are ahi poke and lū’au, both of which he can happily have several servings of
he’d struggle a bit with connecting with your community if you ever managed to bring him back to your island for a visit — but that’s mostly because of his natural introversion and he’s otherwise fine with following you around, helping you prepare food, celebrating holidays with you, and so on
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littleeyesofpallas · 8 months
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So, Shutara in the anime, huh?
okay okay yeah i got around to e13 this morning and I see what everyone was excited about. Some of the new lore i'm a little iffy on, but ooo the visual designs are more than enough for me to chew on.
So the obvious highlight is Shutatsu Karagara Shigaraminotsuji[娑闥迦羅骸刺絡辻]
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Shutatsu[娑闥]: Oldwoman* gate
*weirdly this kanji does not appear to be commonly used in Japanese at all, but does have the Japanese specific(as in Chinese and Korean don't use it this way) meaning of "old woman" but I have no idea in what context it would be used or if there is some other usage of it that could be evoked here other than to mean "old woman."
The "Gate" in question though seems to be a more obviously superficial reference to the shape of the bankai itself using the bits of sewing machine to make a tori gate.
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Karagara[迦羅骸]: "Kala" Husk
So it appears that the Kara[迦羅] here is from the Chinese writing[摩訶迦羅] of the Sanskrit Mahakala[महाकाल] which is alternatively named Daikokuten[大黑天] in Japanese, and is a Buddhist god of wealth. (it is also the way the Japanese write the name of a 6th century Korean kingdom? but that doesn't feel relevant here...)
But of note, the Japanese name itself made up of ka[迦] which has no meaning(?) and is just used phonetically? and ra[羅]: referring to "Silk" or "gauze" or other similar lightweight fabric. The -ra at least seems to have more literal applications here, but honestly it feels less pertinent next to the extremely conspicuous word choice...
And gara[骸] is "shell"/"husk" and other similar things that get left behind when you remove the innards. The character itself can also mean a "corpse"/"cadaver" but not generally when it's pronounced as "gara." (The image it evokes to me is letting a robe or gown slide off your shoulders and drop to the ground, the robe being the "husk.")
(but apparently some people think this could be a play on the sanskrit karagara[कारागार], meaning a "prison"/"jail" or otherwise "place of confinement"? But i have no idea why anyone would have chosen the kanji in question to approximate that... I'll be honest, I don't buy it; it gives me very "I'll send you to the netherlands!" translation flub vibes. The techniques themselves do feel reminicent of the Buddhist naraka in theme and aesthetic, but the leap from "prison" to "naraka" seems unsubstantiated by the wordplay here.)
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Shigarami-no-tsuji[刺絡辻]: Bloodletting crossroads
shiraku[刺絡] is the bloodletting technique used in old Chinese medicine. It's sometimes thrown under the umbrella of "acupuncture" but the methods are different. Where as the needles in acupuncture are meant to be precise and release pressure, the blood letting involves a few semi-random pricks in a localized area and then the use of a heat cup to create a vacuum that draws the blood out.(better than leeches at least...) The thing with the heat cups is what's being referred to here.
But broken down it's, shi[絡] "thorn"/"prick"/"splinter" + kara[絡]: "entangled"/"entwined"/"enmeshed"/"wrapped up in" etc... literally describing being "in the middle of (many) needles"
tsuji[辻]: a "crossroad." Nice and straight forward.
my issue however is that I'm not entirely sure where the "mino" phonetics here came from, or what that very deliberate choice of alternate reading might mean in this context... (see comments section)
(also, sorry if anyone's squeemish about cups full of blood, but I tried to find an image that at least obscured the actual needle wounds)
and then there is...
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Shideno Rokushiki Ukimonnohata[死出六色浮文機]
Shideno[死出], lit."death+exit" a more specific term for "Death" from shide-no-yama[死出の山]: "mountain of death" that refers to a mountain the dead cross to get into the afterlife. Appropriately evoked by forcing the Sternritter each through their own illusory ordeal.
Rokushiki[六色]: "Six Colors" appears to just refer to the fact that there were 6 of them.
Ukimonno Hata[浮文機]: "Brocade Loom." "Brocade" being made up of the words [浮文]: "Floating+Character" referring to the raised patterning. and [機] being a kanji for "machine" but when pronounced "hata" it specifically refers to a loom or other textile machine.
Much easier to pick apart by comparison at least...
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