#and then our teacher was like ‘so adam and eve’ and when i tell you we combusted…

[casmong]

Evolution of words and meanings.

“Then I behelde all the worke of God, that a man cannot finde out the worke that is done vnder the Sunne: because though a man labour to seeke it out, yea further though a wise man thinke to know it, yet shall hee not be able to finde it.” - Ecclesiastes 8:17 (King James Version 1611)

Language is dynamic and the spelling and meaning of words evolve over time. The spelling of many of the words used in the 1611 version of the King James Version have changed over time, so has the intended meanings. The language of the KJV is Early Modern English—the language of Shakespeare’s plays. Some obvious changes are the use of thee and thou which are simply singular forms of ye and you, which were always plural in Early Modern English.

The monumental task of modernizing the archaic Early Modern English to the current version of the KJV was first done over 20 years by Francis Sawyer Parris (Cambridge edition of 1760), who died in May of that year; followed by and effectively superseded by the 1769 Oxford edition, edited by Benjamin Blayney, though with comparatively few changes from the Parris's edition; but which became the Oxford standard text, and is reproduced almost unchanged in most current printings.

Replenish - God tells Adam and Eve to “replenish” the earth[Genesis 1:28]. This does not mean the earth was formerly inhabited and that Adam and Eve’s descendants would replace an original, extinct race of humans. The Hebrew word (מָלֵא - male'] actually meant “to fill completely,” not “to refill.” and the sense of “to fill with urgency and enthusiasm.”

Closet - Jesus advises entering one’s “closet” to pray[Matthew 6:6], and it’s not uncommon these days to hear someone speak of a “prayer closet.” This does not mean we have to pray in a clothes closet or a linen cupboard. The Greek ταμεῖόν (tameion) meant “an inner chamber, a secret room, or a storage room. Our modern word closet is derived from the French clos, which merely meant “a private room”—a room that is “closed off.”

Compel - Paul admits that before he was converted, he “compelled” believers to blaspheme Jesus Christ[Acts 26:11,]. To us, this KJV word sounds like he convinced them and they gave in. However, the Greek ἠνάγκαζον (ēnankazon) is not so strong. Compelled means only he “threatened, begged, and pushed” them to blaspheme, but it does not mean that he succeeded. Early Christians were tougher than that.

Conversation - The word is almost immediately associated today with “talking,” but neither the Hebrew יִשְׁרֵי־ (yiš·rê-) [Psalm 37:14] nor the Greek ἀναστροφὴν (anastrophēn) [Ephesians 4:22] refers to verbal communication. The Hebrew word actually means “a road,” and both the Hebrew and Greek make reference to one’s manner of life or the character one displays through life. It’s not that our speech shouldn’t be godly, but these verses specifically address our manner of interacting with people. The obsolete definition of conversation is “conduct or behavior,” and this is the sense the KJV translators had in mind.

Cousin - The 1611 KJV wording refers to Elizabeth as Mary’s “cousin.” [Luke 1:36] The Greek συγγενίς (syngenis) actually means “kin” or, possibly, “someone from the same area or country.” The KJV word cousin as interpreted by most modern readers, seems to mean that Mary and Elizabeth were daughters of siblings, but that’s not what the word cousin used to mean in 1611. In (archaic) Early Modern English, the word cousin commonly had a much broader meaning than just “child of one’s aunt or uncle”, and in fact could refer to anyone outside of one’s immediate family.

Doctor - When scripture wrote of young Jesus was surrounded by “doctors”[Luke 2:46], however the Greek word used is διδασκάλων (didaskalōn) which nowadays means teachers or instructors, which was what the word “doctors” meant in (archaic) Early Modern English of 1611.

Bewitched - When Paul admonishes the Galatians about falling back into salvation by law-keeping “​​Galatians 3:1, the Greekwird for “bewitchment”

ἐβάσκανεν (ebaskanen) was not dark magic but rather of them being maligned or lead astray.

Carriage - when we read in Acts 21:15 of the apostles taking up their “carriages”, the Greek word is ἐπισκευασάμενοι (episkeuasamenoi) which we nowadays refer to as packing up our “luggage”.

Instant - When the mob was “instant” in Luke 23:23, or we are advised to be ‘instant in prayer’[Romans 12:12] the Greek word

προσκαρτεροῦντες (proskarterountes) does not connote the modern concept of immediately or now, but rather they were being told to be persistent continue steadfast, and insistent.

Quick - The apostle said Jesus will judge the ‘quick and the dead’ [Acts 10:42] or that God “​quickened us together with Christ”[Ephesians 2:5] The greek word used συνεζωοποίησεν (synezōopoiēsen) does not mean fast or speedy but rather is speaking of being given life or making alive.

Lease - The psalmist writes of those who speak “leasing” [Psalm 5:6] he was not speaking of a temporary contract to acquire property. but rather the Hebrew word translated as “leasing”

כָ֫זָ֥ב (ḵā·zāḇ( is actually referring to speaking lies, untruth, falsehood, or a deceptive thing in modern English, which was the meaning of the word “leasing” back in 1611.

Meet - When Jesus spoke of “it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it unto the dogs.” [Mark 7:27], where the Greek word καλόν (kalon) means beautiful, but chiefly good, valuable or virtuous but in context was referring to what was “fitting” or “proper” or appropriate.

Communicate - When the writer of Hebrews advised of “But to do good and to communicate forget not” [Hebrews 13:16] where the Greek word for communicate was κοινωνίας (koinōnias) which was not referring to vocal speaking but rather sharing freely to the need of others.

#bible #study #jesus #love #faith #god #bless

[cam-cam]

12/16/22

🎵Song of the Day: When You Were Young----The Killers

Its 8 o’ clock and I’ve been taking it easy all day. I still have not washed my bedsheets. But I did go driving yesterday. I went and picked up my transcripts and handed it to my college. The next step is to register for next semester’s classes. At my old high school a teacher who I fucking hated (story for another day) tried to have a whole ass conversation with me in the parking lot and I just smiled and nodded. I plucked my eyebrows. I get compliments on my eyebrows’ shape all the time, but that’s because I’m so diligent with them. My right eyebrow is pissing me off. It’s all wonky and shit. I’m sure I’m the only one who cares but it still bothers me. 

I had fun with Sophia. We went to Fire house subs and then to the amc. Before that we went to Target. I never go to Target anymore. I got some lighters for my candles, some more charcoal toothbrushes, and encouraged Sophia to get some (she comments on my teeth being really white), some cartilage rings and the actual summers eve brand, whenever I ask my mom for some she gets the offbrand kind because its ‘cheaper’. There wasn’t much good playing at the amc because there never is. I told Sophia we wouldn’t have to buy tickets in advance because it won’t be crowded. Nobody goes and sees movies anymore, for many reasons. We went to see Violent Night. I knew it wouldn’t be that good. We were kind of debating seeing ‘A Strange World’ or whatever that movie is called because apparently its really woke and we wanted to just make fun of it. (shes the only friend I’d be able to do that with). I reallyy wanted to see Black Adam. I’m a huge dc fan and I saw a clip of that one scene playing ‘Paint it Black’ (love that song)

Violent Night was good to see as a Christmas movie, but it was not a good movie. At least we didn’t give any money to disney. Sophia only bought one ticket so we could just find which theatre was playing it and I snuck in with the small popcorn she wanted. It was funny because when we went in there was a couple our age sitting in the back, clearly pissed that we were there. Sophia hated the movie and I said “I told youuu”. She insisted we see it. We kept looking backwards to see if the couple was doing anything lmao

I didn’t go jogging this morning like I did yesterday morning. Let me jog tomorrow morning. 

Its been like 40-50 degrees consistently the last three days, accompanied by rain. If you don’t think thats bad youre fucking delusional. Its been cold as shit. 

So a little update on the bus biting situation at my old high school. Apparently the vp didn’t get into any trouble (i know shocking). He didn’t do anything wrong. Ofc everyone is still trying to make it a race issue. My old high school has always been like this. Filled with mindless fucking animals. I’ve witnessed everything there. I personally filmed a video of a girl getting her shit rocked by a guy twice her size. I still have it deep in my camera roll along with a bunch of other fight videos. I got into two fights myself. Ofc with other girls. My freshman year this nasty weird girl in my fake friend group gave a dude head behind the staircase. Someone recorded it and started spreading it. It took a while to actually get out. Because I remember her confiding in us about it. I wasn’t really close with her (she would occasionally try to talk to me before it happened and I was always nice because thats who I am). I remember after it got out and around lunch time everyone was staring at her and at us by extension. I got to tell all the classes all the juicy details because I knew all about it. 

Anyway let me stop talking about my nasty old high school. I’m going to get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to go jogging, FINALLY put up my Christmas tree, and register for spring classes. Let’s manifest it.

[no-idea-what-imdoing]

Stories from the school I went to for 7-12th grade bc I can do this now bc I no longer go there also these are not in chronological order just the order I remembered them

Head custodian running people over on the gator (this has actually happened more than once. No, no one has died) (8th grade??? I think, the girl was leaving the library and got ran over)

No one ever able to give blood bc half the school is anemic

A paralyzed Canadian skater lecturing a room full of Florida teens about car safety

The entire cafeteria singing ‘big green tractor’ when they were doing a fundraiser that involved playing music this was a while ago I barely remember it

The entire gym singing party in the USA at a pep rally the day before the world changed (March 13 2020)

Dubbing our school resource officer ‘Deputy Donut’

(Story behind that: in a fundraiser for cheerleading they weren’t getting any donut sales so he said he’d sing and tell bad jokes until someone bought donuts while we were at lunch (someone bought donuts and we were freed)

All the farm animals getting loose and a cow winding up in the bus loop

A dude jumping the fence into the school, stealing drinks from the cafeteria and taking a shit on a storm drain (no one was at school at this time it was at night)

Teacher unbuttoning shirt to show chest scar from a fall to students

Same teacher always whispering in girls ears he can see their back if they’re shirt is a little short

Debate on if Thanos was in the right or wrong in class council (there was some Thanos defense also this was like 2018/19 so between infinity war and endgame)

Bullying kids that annoyed everyone into transferring (this happened three times)

A teacher claiming they’re moving to Hawaii because they hate America

Same teacher claiming they were bullied into quitting by other teachers bc they had tattoos

Same teacher making us write an essay on what we would do in a zombie apocalypse and one of the groups you could be in was cannibals

Different teacher not knowing who Phil Swift was when we mentioned him and putting on a flex tape ad

Assignment to make a cruise ship relating to Greek mythology or something(it’s been awhile ok), my group deciding to be edgy freshman are like let’s make it a murder cruise and make the number the suicide prevention hotline I look up the suicide prevention hotline on my school computer and get called to the office the next period

Spanish teacher goes on maternity leave, we stop doing work and start only playing uno, mafia, and other card games

Playing cards against humanity in math and the weird writing class we had

Someone dumps hand sanitizer into a coke can someone drinks it realizes it’s not coke continues to drink it thinking it’s vodka or somth (this kid is the only one in our class to go to the military which makes sense bc he’s an idiot)

Teaching a teacher how to catch the woah

Chemistry sub going on a rant on how android is better than Apple and Apple is evil bc bite out of Apple for logo = Adam and Eve story plus teacher having a Apple thing with a rainbow on it means Apple is the antichrist/devil

Another sub who’s dad was a teacher at the school telling us how to get into certain bars in the nearby college town while underage

Teacher (that subs father) trying to get a girl to call him on her cell phone to ‘test his new ringer’ (there was a wired phone in the room)

Same teacher getting his phone and laptop hidden by a student and us being banned from being in the classroom during his fifteen minute bathroom break between classes

Same teacher leaving random wet spots and having odd noises coming out his computer

Same teacher making us do a christoper Columbus play we never actually put on for THREE MONTHS (I was sailor 1)

-The costume for that play had the ‘indians’ (what they were referred to as in the play) in coconut shell bikinis

#random #high school #gen z #I found this in my drafts #it’s kinda old atp #I’m not even in high school anymore #but here’s this

[sonicghost22]

Sonic Boom: Sound And Philosophy

More than 2000 years ago in Greece, there lived a philosopher famous for his multitude of works. Aristotle, son of Nichomachus was a man who had been the teacher of one of the most famous kings in history- Alexander the Great.

However, Aristotle was not famous just for being the teacher of Alexander; he was one of the best students in Plato's Academy and wrote innumerable number of books pertaining to metaphysics, logic and ethics. His, Nichomachean Ethics, Poetics, Politics and Metaphysics are still widely studied and taught by scholars all around the world.

So, how does sound connect to this ancient Greek philosopher? Well, in his yet another famous book- Categories, Aristotle tells us something unique and interesting.

He says that what makes us, humans, different from other animals is our ability to assign names to things. We use language to assign names to various objects or in scientific terms, categorize things. This, is a superpower which we possess.

So, why is this a superpower you ask? Because once we assign names to living things we start gaining control over them, something like knowing the name of a demon or angel gives the conjuror complete control over the entities.

A baby when born is assigned a name by its parents. This automatically makes the parents the one in control over the baby. The baby comes to realize that the parents are the ones in control and gives them its complete trust.

Do you know what us Asians believe the most beautiful sound is? It is Mother (ma). Often babies, infants, kids even youngsters feel psychologically soothed when they address their mothers. Hence, mother does not remain as a name given to a subject i.e. the female parent, it becomes a psychological pillar of support and comfort.

So where does sound fit in in this equation? Well, language is sound emitted by us (yes there is the concept of body language as well, but let's keep that out of discussion for now).

Our language, human language is unique. Every other species has a common language that they use to describe an emotion, dogs whine when they are sad, cats hiss when they are angry. Their language is even universal.

But our language is different, not only do we not have a universal language(well there is, and it is called mathematics) but also our language is not just a series of sounds reserved for expressing emotions. Like I said, we have the superpower of assigning names to subjects. Language is what gives us that superpower. Sound, gives us that superpower. Aristotle tells us exactly that.

This reminds me of the story of the Tower Of Babel. Humanity started out with a universal language. One day they decided to build a ziggurat so high that it reaches the Heaven, it reaches God. This meant that humans could communicate directly with God. But that was impossible because humans were not meant to reach the Heavens because Adam and Eve were cast out from Heaven. God found out about this and decided to not destroy the ziggurat, instead destroy the thing that unified the entirety of humanity- language. God, destroyed the universal language and soon humans started to develop their own languages, according to their own nations. The ziggurat was never completed, and people became divided based on language. This story tells us that even God was afraid of the power of language.

Therefore, somewhere, somehow, I believe sound merges with philosophy. Maybe there is God Himself at the confluence of sound and philosophy. I am a self taught sound engineer, I still learn everyday. But I am sound engineer by choice, because I want to dissect sound and see where philosophy and sound merges.

So, come join me on my spiritual sonic journey, let's dissect sound together and find the mysteries behind language. Maybe one day, we might even find God somewhere.

~ @sonicghost22

#philosophy #sound #sound engineering #language

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

It's a little too Ocarina of Time, but also no enough. Yet despite that stupid sword $&*%, I'm having fun.

So I played three games back to back. They were short and sweet (just as I like'em). I was going to move on to the next but then my wife started Ocarina of Time on Switch. We brought the kids' cots out to the living room and they were all snuggled up with their stuffed animals and snacks having a great time watching us play. So we powered our way through the game (it's been years since we played all the way through and I was going to finish it this time!).

Feeling excited about Zelda, we decided to through in Skyward Sword. We've never played before, and we bought it months ago (can't remember why...I think we had store credit?) but never started it. So...we started it.

It's become a nice post-dinner event for us. The kids get on their cots with some snacks (the key to being southern american is to always have snacks immediately have dinner/supper). My wife and I have a glass of rum-n-juice each, and enjoy the adventure.

Not sure why I shared all that except for maybe that's my favorite part of this experience??

SO we've made it pretty far. We tracked Zelda to all the main temples until she disappeared into the time gate, leaving us the harp of time. Now we've just collected all the tools and the three flames to create the master sword. So I guess we're at the final stretch, and I'm just now journaling. (I've been busy...)

Not sure how to break this down--but I think Imma start with why this is both too much like Ocarina and not enough...

Ocarina of Time Defined 3D Action Adventure Games

I love 3D action adventure games, this includes platformers like Mario, Jak and Daxter, and Sly Cooper. I love the exploring interesting environments, discovering secrets, and experiencing the stories. And I feel all 3D action adventures basically take their cues from Ocarina of Time.

Sure, games like Tomb Raider and Soul Reaver were being produced at the same time, but I think they were likely inspired by older Zeldas. Whatever, no need to track the design DNA down to the original Adam & Eve of video games--the point is, most of what has become adventure game staples got their start in Ocarina of Time.

Regardless of its influence, OOT had little to draw influence from. I mean, it borrows heavily from the 3D concepts Mario 64 explored, but OOT was trying to build a cohesive world and story while Mario was just having fun. So it's that imaginative approach to world building and story telling that I think makes OOT the grandmother of 3D adventure games.

Because OOT was having to figure things out on the fly, I can forgive its shortcomings. BUT because Skyward Sword is decades later in the franchise, I struggle to let it get away with much.

Such as...

An Interconnected World

I asked my Game Development professor if Ocarina of Time should be considered open world. He responded in that annoying way that deep thinkers do: "I think it's more about a feeling of open world."

Find dude, how do you feel about it?

Never mind! He was a good teacher. Point is, I view it as an open world. As much was really possible for it. Every dungeon, area, and building in the game is basically connected. Even if they're loaded independently, they're still connected. And once you open an area, it generally remains accessible to you for the rest of the game--dungeons included. This is part of why OOT is so great.

Firstly, it makes the world feel more real. Even despite how horribly shaped the landscapes or crassly gamey paths are designed, because it was all interconnected, it felt like a real space that fit together.

Secondly, this made the game feel like a discovery. From the earliest Zeldas, there wasn't a lot of handholding. You were often just dropped into an environment and told good luck. When I first played through Ocarina of Time, I felt like I stumbled upon about 90% of the game accidentally. Much in the same way that Morrowind felt like a completely open experience, OOT did too. I know now there's a very linear progression through OoT, but unlike something like God of War, they don't force your hand. They let you explore the wrong paths a little.

NOW back to SkSw (Skyward Sword). Just like OoT, much of the game is separated into levels/areas. But there's two distinct zones: they sky and the surface. They're separated by a cloud covering your bird refuses to pass through, and you can only access places once a hole in the clouds separates. From there, you can drop down into 1 of 3 distinct surface areas...and they're not interconnected.

This make the game feel disjointed. Sure, I have the freedom to backtrack. And each zone has pretty large with different things to explore. But I don't get the same feeling of a unified world as I did in OoT.

Let's Talk About the Sky

I don't know why I said "let's", it's just me talking.

I didn't know much about Skyward Sword before playing, just that it's the chronological beginning. I knew there were floating islands and I assumed there were bird people (that I met in Breath of the Wild). My thought was that the game would fully take place in the sky with islands and the climax would see the islands descending to the surface to create the world we've all come to love and fear.

But nope. There's a few floating islands and a never ending storm. But most the game is on the surface.

This made me sad. It was really cool that you could fly a bird to all these islands, so getting to fly that bird to major game zones would have been awesome! It also would have made the bird-flying way more significant. Instead, the bird becomes an unexciting chore. The sky has little going for it. Skyloft the town is pretty well developed with some fun secrets and interesting characters. But the rest of the sky is mostly empty space that takes waaay too long to fly around. And sadly, as far as I can tell, there's no warp feature like with the songs in Ocarina of Time. So I have to fly every where...it sucks.

See what I'm saying

I've gone on about nothing enough. Let's shut this down for now. The point I'm making is that the world is disconnected by load screens like OoT. Given this game is post the open world boom, not being more open is a bit of a crime. Wasn't Windwaker open world? So not having the whole game be in the sky, I think, was a missed opportunity and makes the game feel too old fashioned (too much like Ocarina of Time). But because the game is so disconnected and you're told exactly where to go 95% of the time, and most areas are inaccessible until the story wants you to go there, you don't get any of the discovery and sense of exploration of OoT. (Not enough like Ocarina of Time).

Because of this, the game doesn't feel like the kind of groundbreaking experience Zelda should be. But it also came out while Nintendo was struggling to keep up with the competition. So they often took "short cuts". I mean, the animation of Link climbing, especially when you press B is horrifyingly bad. It's like a non-artist put in a place holder animation and the bosses said, "Good enough, ship it."

#Zach's Game Journal #PLAYING #The Legend of Zelda #Skyward Sword #Nintendo Switch #Video Games #Gaming

[that-was-anticlimactic]

thinking about the “don’t worry, bae, I’ll protect you” scene from the beach episode of sk8 but zukka…

sokka as reki… zuko as langa… azula as shadow… toph as miya… jet or ty lee as joe… haru or mai as cherry…

sokka acting overly dramatic with zuko and then zuko playing along and clutching sokka (maybe with one arm wrapped protectively around the back of his head too…) and saying “don’t worry, bae, i’ll protect you”

and sokka internally dying because zuko called him bae and zuko internally dying because oh crap he just called sokka bae and azula and toph internally dying because they’re surrounded by lovesick fools and… yeah…

#i have… feelings… #grace and i were in our 18th century british lit class together today #and before class started we were talking about how much we hated ad*m and how creepy his eve obsession was #and then our teacher was like ‘so adam and eve’ and when i tell you we combusted… #plus our teacher’s name is adam skdbkdbdjd #anyways grace doodled cherry and I wrote down renga / zukka Thoughts #bro stop now i’m thinking about zuko protectively stepping in front of sokka… and zuko freaking going ‘sokka my love… of sKATING’ #and sokka reminding zuko how to breathe and live and have fun again and reminding zuko what life was about… #someone help i’m supposed to be reading Shakespeare for tomorrow and i gotta read a whole act and i have Not started kabsjdndnd #anyways #imma que this lol #corey rambles:) #zukka #12:21… what a satisfying number to look at… that’s when this will post. it’s pretty.

[the-fiction-witch]

99 Questions Benny Watts

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? I do like a coffee cup then again I mostly like the coffee

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops. don't make the mess and gunky throat I get with chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy. Purely because of the amount of gum left under tables

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

'Never in class, Once came to class and corrected me,'

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles, I like a good coke bottle

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

uuuuhh goth, grunge.  I guess. maybe. I don't know me. I dress me.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones, but I'd rather just put music on normally

8. movies or tv shows?

I like a movie, just sit and watch in one go, can't keep up with all these until next week shows

9. favourite smell in the summer?

The smell of the fresh air from the of people who fuck off out of new york in the summertime

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Ahh my favourite game. 'Cough cough Sir I'm sick I need to go sit down' I often won this game

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Coffee. maybe a fried egg.

12. name of your favourite playlist?

Rock n roll compilations

13. lanyard or keyring?

Keyring, I do not know how anyone looks like an adult with a lanyard.

14. favourite non-chocolate candy?

Candy laces They are so good!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Spot the dog. An enjoyable read indeed

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

sitting in my leather chair arms behind me legs open usually.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Boots. or no shoes I like no shoes

18. ideal weather?

a little grey and mildly rainy

19. sleeping position?

Okay... I like to spoon. Shot me It's cosy as hell

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Notebooks. I will drop some good cash on a decent notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Uhh Chess I guess.

22. role model?

as much as I hate him. I have to say borgov

23. strange habits?

Fiddling with my rings Its a weird habit

24. favourite crystal?

Obsidian

25. first song you remember hearing?

Earth Angel, I don't remember where I heard it, but I remember it being the first song I heard.

26. favourite activity to do in warm weather?

Chess.

27. favourite activity to do in cold weather?

Chess

28. A song to describe you? Hummm is there a song called most amazing human being alive? If so that one.

29. best way to bond with you? Discuss the magic of chess.

30. places that you find sacred? My bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? My usual outfit. Jeans, belt with knife. Black silk shirt, leather trench coat and hat. I can kick any butt required.

32.  favorite vines? What.... Uhhhh grape?

33. most used phrase in your phone? Uhhh hello I suppose

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Copper tone QT. I had that in my head for like a month

35. average time you fall asleep? Half ten. Sometimes later if my little flowers feeling frisky

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? What.... What is a meme?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Duffle bag

38. lemonade or tea? I think... Tea.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Pie. I do love a good pie.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? A boy shoved gum up his nose and would blow bubbles when he sneezed

41. last person you texted? Uuuuhhhhh.... I rang beth, mostly to tell her to stop sending products from adam and eve to our house, brand new but still! Like once a month oohh a parcel nope just sex toys. (Y/n from elsewhere) you weren't complaining last month when it was a spanking paddle. Y/n! I thought you were doing laundry! (Y/n from elsewhere) I am I just like correcting you in your interview

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket. I have lost! So! Many! Wallets trying to keep them in my jeans plus they make my jeans really bulky in the crotch or ass, and... I want that bulk to speak for itself ;)

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I think we all know the answer to that is leather trench coat.

44. favorite scent for soap? I wanna say orange. But that's because y/n uses orange so I mostly just connect the smell with her. But my soap smells like cedarwood and I think I smell great

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Sci fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Boxer shorts, and my sexy kimono

47. favorite type of cheese? Edam tis delicious

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Banana ;) (Y/n from elsewhere) more like a little strawberry I can't tell if that's bad or not because you love strawberries? (Y/n from elsewhere) that I do benny

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Why should I live to follow someone else's instructions

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? When I saw harry beltik slip down both flights of stairs ti my apartment on an icey day. That was funny

51. current stresses? Rent. Bills. Milk. Chess tournament. Planes. Cars. War. Politics. Chess. Weather. Everything stresses me.

52. favorite font? What's the really cursive one. I like that one

53. what is the current state of your hands? My hands? Uhhh hand like I suppose (Y/n from another room) probably need some lotion Benny! Y/n! Fine I probably do actually.

54. what did you learn from your first job? That some people in new york have expensive hedges and if you throw a paper in them they get really really mad!

55. favorite fairy tale? I really like sleeping beauty because it's evil when you get down to it

56. favorite tradition? Awww well after me and y/n got together we created our own little holiday and it's traddions as we don't get to spend a lot of real holidays like Valentine's and our anniversary together, we call it flower day once a day where we drive to impressive gardens and just cuddle and look at flowers together and of course I usually buy her some flowers too, because she's my little flower.

57. a struggle you've overcome? I've not completely overcome my gambling but I'm working on it

58. A talent you're proud of having? Well chess? And my amazing charm with the ladies...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Tick tock with my chess clock

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Epic fighting anime! But chess.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? That was a mean, low, sneaky, underhanded trick!

Yes, it was. And I'm quite pleased with myself.”

62. A character you relate to? I feel like me and whinne the pooh share a vibe.

63. A song that would play in your club? Live for today!

64. favorite website from your childhood? Website? Uuuhhh my window use to get cool webs in winter

65. any permanent scars? One. But I refuse to disclose where it is or how I got it (Y/n from another room) he has a scar on his butt where he accidentally sat on his knife. Y/N!

66. favorite flower(s)? I like.... Uhhh what are they called. Snapdragons there cool.

67. good luck charms? My hat and my ring.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you've ever tried? Lime. Limeaid can fuck off

69. a fun fact that you don't know how you learned? If you bury a body under an endangered plant it's illegal to dig up. Not sure how I learnt that but I imagine it has something to do with y/n

70. left or right handed? Right.

71. least favorite pattern? Like the weird swirling stuff that makes you feel like you did lsd

72. worst subject? I fucking hated english I got so bored

73. favorite weird flavor combo? ... I like strawberry and mint like chocolate covered strawberries but with mint chocolate

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

10 I will not take it until I'm dieing!

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

uuuhhh.... the first I remember was in school one of the boys threw me into a door and I lost a tooth

76. what's your favourite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

uuuhh (WHisper) Y/n? what is growing on our windowsill?.... I see... thank you. Succulents

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

I like gas station coffee. What's wrong with gas station coffee?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver's license photo?

uuuuughhh. Neither. we do not look at either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Uhh earth I guess

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies at least their cute lighting bugs are just annoying

82. pc or console?

uhh... I do not understand.

83. writing or drawing?

writing, I gotta work on my new book

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts I do like a radio drama

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. she got good boobs!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology. it's cool. horse dude cool. fish lady cool. lion dog cool. fairy tales are just like pixies and princess.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, I don't have to muck around with cases or hell just eat the dough raw

87. your greatest fear?

babies. More specifically pregnancy, It freaks me out! you take a tiny little spill of me and then grow a human inside your stomach! then push it out. It's terrifying

88. your greatest wish?

More money. and more chess books

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Myself.

90. luckiest mistake?

Crashing my car. it was lucky because I would not have met my... well now wife if I hadn't

91. boxes or bags?

Bags! you cannot separate me from my leather bag

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps, I spend five bucks on my living room lamp and if it breaks I may cry.

93. nicknames?

Well benny is a nickname. You don't need to know what the real one is.

94. favourite season?

Winter, My jacket is so cosy

95. favourite app on your phone?

Uhhh... if I move the ringer really fast it rings a nice tune

96. desktop background?

Uhh I have no desktop

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhhhh sixteen.

98. favourite historical era?

I like now! now is great

99. Favorite thing about y/n? Hummm that's a hard one. I love everything about her? I think I like her sweetness best how kind and forgiving she can me for when I burn dinner or sir playing chess an hour or two to long, all the late dates and sudden trips she's so sweet and forgiving.

#benny #Benjamin Watts #benny fanfic #benny smut #benny x reader #benny watts #bennywattssmut #tqgbennywatts #BENNYWATTS #benny watts smut #benny watts imagine #tqg benny watts #tbs #tbs smut #tbs smutty #tbs sex #TBS Imagine #tbs imagines #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster i #thomas broide sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas sangster smut #thomas sangster x reader

[five-wow]

I posted 199 times in 2021

62 posts created (31%)

137 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 221 tags in 2021

#* - 58 posts

#mcdanno - 47 posts

#h50 - 33 posts

#talking - 31 posts

#incorrect quotes - 13 posts

#my fic - 12 posts

#anon - 8 posts

#ask - 8 posts

#endless i love yous - 6 posts

#fic rec - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#steve to a random stranger on the street: i love danny very much and he's kind of like my husband. i hope he finds me the perfect woman soon

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Top 10 McDanno moments

oh dude, making an actual list like that would take me a day, because i’m Very Bad at picking favorites and also because there’s like, literally ten seasons’ worth of moments to choose from in the first place.

a few strong contenders off the top of my head, though, in no particular order:

d: “what’s the matter with you?” / s: “i love you.” for the fact that it’s a) still a totally insane sequence of words, b) one of their three mutual i love yous on screen, which is good anyway, and c) wonderful pining steve material, as well as just, potentially the most honest reflection on their relationship from steve’s side that we ever got

pretty much the entire episode where they transport that nuclear bomb through the jungle. steve’s snooping, the first scene where they have their relationship argument in front of an entire class of innocent academy students, the “are you comparing our relationship to my failed marriage?”, the bit where danny tells steve not to say anything and steve sneaks in an i love you anyway, the bit where steve calls danny a beloved curmudgeon, when they’re squeezed under the truck together, when steve asks danny to name his friggin’ restaurant for him and rambles about being together even when they’re not together (restaurants and boats, if you name them after a person people are absolutely going to assume it’s your spouse), That Look steve throws at danny through the window at the very end of the episode.

when danny tells steve he’s a half-baked cookie and goes “that’s why i love you, babe”, because it’s just. it’s a lot.

actually, the first time steve says he loves danny, when they’re trapped under that building! danny’s been nothing but incredibly negative and he builds this huge tension before telling steve he really really hates him and steve just laughs along and goes “i love you too” because he does and he knows danny, and then once they’re finally out steve waits until danny says it back.

“you don’t have to dance with me tonight” while they’re sitting unnecessarily close together during max’s going away party, purely for the fact that i was so convinced i must have heard that wrong the first time i watched it that i went back three times. it was still the same. i still don’t know how that made it into the episode.

when danny talks about coming into work one day and seeing your partner in a different light, and he goes “know what i mean?” and steve is all quiet and says “i do”. also when steve keeps offering to go everywhere with danny that episode while danny confides in him. the episode in which danny says he once fell for his partner after he had spent every day with her and she was the only person he confided in. that episode.

season 10, maybe just, uh, in its entirety. sunshine, emotional support friend, danny being the person everyone goes to if they’re worried about steve, bad guys knowing to target danny if they want to hit steve where it hurts, moving in, sharing beds, parent-teacher meetings, the extremely half-hearted attempts at dating other people, valentine’s day cuddles, “it’s kinda like his love language for me” - season 10 truly has it all.

175 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 16:48:05 GMT

#4

steve and danny somehow encounter the very tired “it’s adam and eve, not adam and steve” slogan (in the middle of interrogating someone for one of their rare cases where queer people do exist, probably) and steve’s like “oh god yes, not adam and steve. i don’t think of adam like that, and i wouldn’t want to marry anyone besides danny anyway” and danny’s like “wait, you wanna marry me?” and that’s how they figure out steve may have a ring hidden in his sock drawer.

(danny: “that’s OUR sock drawer. we share that drawer. that is not a good hiding place! who put you in charge of anything?” steve, who spent the last two months silently hoping danny would “accidentally” find the ring box and call him out on exactly this because whatever danny may say, their ideas of romance definitely overlap in the “bickering over socks and inconsequentially bad plans” department: “ah, you say that, but you didn’t find it, did you? did you even look?” danny: “why would i look for rings in my socks! why do i want to spend the rest of my life with you so badly when your brain is so weird!” their suspect, who is still cuffed to a chair next to them and has the uncomfortable feeling he just got them engaged with his homophobic rhetoric: “???”)

176 notes • Posted 2021-04-05 21:48:16 GMT

#3

danny: i’m staying at steve’s temporarily.

danny: so it’s a temporary thing, you know.

danny: just until one of us dies of old age.

178 notes • Posted 2021-01-26 00:31:49 GMT

#2

concept: danny comes to steve and is like “do we have an hr department?” and steve’s like “... do you want to file a complaint? i’m barely even your boss, you almost never do what i say” and danny’s like “no. i’m considering a change in relationship status and i don’t want us to get fired” and steve’s like “did you say us?” and that’s the wildly romantic story of how danny asked steve out for the first time.

212 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 19:34:05 GMT

#1

season 10 is just so wild. danny sets steve up on dates but then doesn’t let him actually go on a date without calling and texting every five seconds, steve dutifully tries to ask out women but keeps mentioning how much he loves danny and that they’re married, and then danny flies across the country because steve’s mother died, suggests they could sleep in the same bed and moves in with steve maybe a week later, and steve’s just like “sssh, lou, don’t tell danny i know he’s making shit up because he might change his mind” and lets danny live with him for months. they never truly talk about what happened to danny’s house and if he might ever need to go back. there are random episodes where we are reminded that they’re both totally still interested in dating women, 100% for sure definitely, but actual potential girlfriends are an afterthought, and steve ends up turning a valentine’s date into a team movie night so he has an excuse to stick close to danny, literally, because he cuddles up between danny and his actual supposed date on the couch. the last episode tells us danny is the person steve cares about most in the world, in those precise words, and shows us that steve would try to enter a car that is on actual real fire to get to danny, and also that danny, who’s consistently been characterized as someone who can’t be happy because his anxiety keeps him too stressed all the time, is in fact now pretty happy with life. now, as in, after he didn’t get back together with rachel but instead moved in with steve with seemingly no intention to ever move back out. all of this is literal canon text, and then i didn’t even get into the easy implication that danny might be sleeping in steve’s bed some of the time after moving in because canon made a whole point of telling us there were no beds free and danny didn’t want to sleep on the couch.

225 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 00:08:17 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#sjdkflkj most of this says so little but shout out to that longest tag. that was a good tag #*

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: How To Write a D’var Torah

A d’var torah (plural divrei torah, literally “word(s) of Torah”) - is a kind of speech or essay delivered by Jews, for Jews. The speech usually refers to the Torah parsha of the week. I’ve shared a couple of my divrei torah here on this blog, including ones about Tamar in parsha Vayeshev and about Balaam in parsha Balak.

For me, divrei torah are a lot of fun to write. I think of it as a “holy book report.” But I know not everyone thinks of a book report as “fun.” Recently, some people have asked me how I write them, how I know what to say and make it interesting. So today I am sharing my thought process for writing a d’var torah.

Here are my four "steps” to writing a good d’var!

1. Explain the Text

This is the “book report” part. Often, a d’var is delivered right after the Torah is read aloud to the congregation, but this doesn’t mean that everyone knows what this week’s parsha is about. It can be difficult to follow along, both in Hebrew and in English. Even if you can follow along, sometimes it’s just not very clear what’s going on, especially once you get out of the stories in Genesis and Exodus that we love to tell our kids and get into the laws of Leviticus. A parsha needs some explanation, just to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Now, I’m not telling you to talk about EVERYTHING that happens in the parsha.  Each parsha contains a LOT. Bereshit, the first chapter of Genesis, is not just those first seven days - it also includes Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, a lot of family trees, and the beginning of the story of Noah! You could write a dozen essays on any one of these pieces of Torah, but remember, this is a ten-minute d’var torah, not a thesis paper. Vayeshev has one hundred and twelve verses in it, but for my d’var, I just talked about those thirty verses that Tamar is in, and I had plenty to say!

Read the parsha, find something that strikes you as particularly interesting, and share those details with your congregation in your d’var torah. But what, you may ask, makes a part of the Torah particularly interesting? That leads me to the second step...

2. Connect to Today

This is really the whole point of a d’var - connecting the ancient texts to today. Why does this matter? Why do we read the Torah today, and what can we learn from it? How can the text give us a new perspective on our lives - or, how can our lives give us new perspective on the text?

Sometimes the answer is obvious, and sometimes not. It’s easy to draw connections between Esau and Jacob’s rivalry and your own sibling squabbles, less so to draw connections to the laws of kashrut if you yourself do not keep kosher. Fortunately, you’re not alone here. You can look up divrei torah written by rabbis throughout the years and quote them (with proper citation!) in your talk. Feel free to share contradicting opinions - “Rabbi X said this, but Rabbi Y said that.” As the saying goes, “two Jews, three opinions.” We love critical thinking and debate!

But here’s the thing - you don’t NEED to tell your congregation what other people think about this parsha. You can say what YOU think about it. What does this parsha remind you of in YOUR life? When I wrote about parsha Balak, I connected Balaam’s treatment of the donkey to behavior I’d seen from theme park guests at work, and drew from that a lesson about not assuming that people who disobey you have malicious intent. When I wrote about parsha Vayeshev, I talked about the mind-blowing impact that Tamar’s story had had on me as a thirteen-year-old, showing me that our culture has much more potential for feminist liberation than I had previously believed.

Which brings me to the next step...

3. Be Vulnerable

When you write a d’var torah, you are a teacher. In this moment, you are the expert on the text, like a professor giving a lecture. But think about the connotations we have for the word “lecture.” A teacher giving you a lecture is a neutral thing, but a lecture can also be a parent scolding you. I don’t see a d’var as the time to scold. If your audience gets defensive, then they will disengage with you and won’t learn from you.

Yes, connect the Torah to the real world, and share what we can learn from it today. But be sure to include yourself in that “we”! If you say, “Here is what YOU should learn from the Torah,” people might get defensive. If you say, “Here is what I’VE learned from the Torah,” people will sympathize with you and learn with you. When I talked about Tamar, I could have used her example to critique the status quo; instead I used it as an opportunity to talk about how I had been wrong in the past and how grateful I was to be a part of this culture. When you are vulnerable, you become memorable and inspirational.

4. Find the Humor

This is something I’ve learned in guest service: if you can get people to laugh, then they’re more likely to listen and do what you say. It’s common speechwriting advice, too, to use humor to connect with your audience. I began my Tamar parsha with a slightly self-deprecating joke about musical theatre, and my bat mitzvah parsha for Bechukotai - which I have not yet worked up the courage to share here - was a completely unintentional stand-up comedy routine. (Honestly, at the time, I had no idea why everyone was laughing. Now I get it, and I cringe.)

Please note that I am NOT telling you to insert humor to non-humorous situations. If you’re talking about the plague of the firstborns in Exodus, that is NOT the time for dead baby jokes. What I’m saying is, when you find humor in the Torah, do not shy away from it. Don’t get so caught up with the idea that this is a holy text you must respect, or that you have the responsibility of teaching your community on your shoulders, that you write something completely dry and disengaged. The d’var that has the congregation zoning out and dozing off is, frankly, not a good d’var. The d’var that feels like an amiable human conversation is one that people will remember.

Explain the text, connect it to today, be vulnerable, and find the humor - and, ta-da! You have a d’var torah! Read it aloud to yourself before anyone else; you’ll find that things sound different when you say them with your voice than when you read it silently. Then go and teach!

#thursday thoughts #judaism #jumblr #torah #d'var #d'var torah #divrei torah #genesis #exodus #writing #speech #essay #how to #life hacks #how to write #book report #writer #religion #jewish #tanakh

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma [Vampire Ending]

ー The scene starts in Yui’s room

Yui: Nnー Such lovely weather again today!

( It’s still sunny out, so it really makes me itch to go on a walk or something. )

( I wonder...Would Yuma-kun come with me if I asked? )

ー Yuma enters the room

*Thud*

Yuma: Oi, Sow!!

Yui: Wah!? Y-Yuma-kun! Please stop barging in...

Yuma: Come here!!

ー He throws her over his shoulder

*Rustle*

Yui: Eh!? H-Hold up!? Why are you carrying me!?

Yuma: ‘Cause you’re so damn slow! We don’t have a second to waste!

Come on, hang on tight!! Not my fault if ya fall!

ー He dashes off

Yui: Kyaaaaaah!

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: Noー! I’m gonna fall!

Ruki: ...What is this ruckus about?

Azusa: Who knows...

Kou: I suppose our cat and dog are going at it again? Such good friends~

Azusa: Then did Yuma...get chosen by Eve and become Adam?

Ruki: ...

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Yuma: ‘Kay, we’re here!

Yui: ( H-He finally came to a halt... )

Geez, Yuma-kun! How many times do I have to tell you to stop carrying me aroundーー!?

Yuma: Ah, my bad, my bad. Now stop whinin’ like a baby.

Yui: ( He definitely doesn’t feel a shred of regret... )

Yuma: Anyway, take a look at this!

Yui: Eh...What? What should I look aーー

Ah...!

( The snapped roses are blooming...!? )

Yuma: Isn’t this amazin’!? They didn’t even seem close to bloomin’ yet yesterday!

Even after being broken...They continued to suck up water and sunlight every day, fighting to stay alive.

...To bloom one day.

Yui: ...You didn’t give up either, did you? You’ve been looking after them every day.

Yuma: Yeah...When I saw them refuse to wither even after being snapped, I was reminded of Boss and the others.

...So I won’t give up either.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...! You’re going to pluck them? But they finally bloomed...

Yuma: I’m sure they already saw them. Next upーー

ー He moves close

Yuma: It’s time to fulfill my dream.

Yui: ( He’s giving the roses to me...? Why...? )

Yuma: Marry me, Yui.

Yui: ...Eeeeh!?

Yuma: Hehe, that’s the most unattractive reaction ya could have given me. Well, I expected as much from ya tho.

Yui: I-I mean, marriage...!?

Yuma: Just hear me out.

...I can’t become Adam. So I definitely won’t be forgiven for stealin’ Eve away.

...I fully understand that.

But ya know, if I were to give up ‘cause of that, I wouldn’t be stayin’ true to myself.

I don’t care if you’re Eve or whatever, I’ve already decided that I won’t give up on the girl who goes by the name Komori Yui.

I doubt that man will forgive my selfish actions...But it’s too soon to give up. Right?

At this point, I no longer care ‘bout my memory loss.

I truly don’t give a damn ‘bout my past anymore.

My past with Boss is all I need. Also...As long as I have a future ahead of me.

And ya definitely have to be a part of that future.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!

Yuma: So ya better brace yerself.

I’ll continue suckin’ yer blood...Until that man acknowledges our relationship.

So until then...No, even beyond that point, ya have to stay by my side, Yui.

ー He bites her

Yui: Nn...Uu...!

( ...Before I could even answer... )

Yuma: Nn...

Yui: Yuma-kun...

Yuma: ...What?

Yui: I haven’t given you a reply yet...Nn...

Yuma: Fool. I won’t listen to yer answer. You’re gonna marry me. That’s the only option you’ve got.

Marry me. ...Understood, Yui?

*Smooch*

Yui: ...Oh come on...!

Ruki: ーー Marriage, you say?

Yui: ...!?

ー Ruki walks up to them

Yui: Ruki-kun...!

Ruki: Don’t decide something so important by yourself. ...Yuma. Do you truly believe you will be allowed to do this?

Yuma: I don’t. And that’s exactly why I’m gonna keep on tryin’ until I get his blessings.

Ruki: No matter how hard you struーー!

Reinhart: Oh come on, why not?

Ruki: ...!

Yui: Sensei? Why are you here...?

Reinhart: There’s a little something I wanted to discuss with Ruki-kun. Kou-kun said he didn’t know where he is, so I came looking for him.

Of course, I never thought I would witness two of my students proposing to each other.

Yui: ( E-Even Sensei saw that just now...Suddenly I feel really embarrassed. )

Reinhart: Not even God is capable of pulling apart two people who love each other, Ruki-kun.

Ruki: ...Sensei...

Reinhart: While we’re at it, why don’t we hold a ceremony? You might not expect it, but I am actually trained as a priest as well.

Yui: ( A-A priest...? )

Reinhart: Well then, make hay while the sun shines! Seize the day! Come on, go get changed you two!

Yui: Get changed? Into what?

Reinhart: Formal wear, obviously! ...Or that’s what I would like to say, but I suppose your school uniforms will do?

Although I would love to see her in a wedding dress as well.

But I am sure you should wear that once you get acknowledged by the person you are seeking recognition from.

Yuma: ...Finally a teacher who knows what he’s talkin’ ‘bout!

Yui: Eh!?

Yuma: Come on, let’s go get changed!

ー Yuma picks her up again

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyaah! Didn’t you hear me earlier!? Don’t carry me!

ー He runs off again

Reinhart: Fufufu, must be nice to still be young.

Ruki: ...Are you sure this is okay?

Reinhart: There is no problem if their love is mutual, Ruki-kun.

Ruki: ...

Reinhart: There is nothing more beautiful in this world than mutual love.

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: I never pictured myself as the bride of a Vampire.

Yuma: Now yer dream of becoming a Nun has been utterly crushed. Serves ya right.

Yui: Fufu, I don’t mind~ Getting married was one of my dreams as well after all.

Yuma: That’s the polar opposite of bein’ a nun, isn’t it!? Honestly, chicks really change their mind like they change clothes.

Oi, ya lil’ rascal. If ya somehow change yer mind one of these days, I’m not lettin’ that happen.

Yui: That’s my line. You tend to grow tired of things quite easily after all. Just the other dayーー

Yuma: Che, shut up. Fine. Then I’ll make a vow.

...But before that. Oi, just yer uniform is kinda dull. Put this on.

–> If you are playing the Limited V edition or the Grand Edition, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Only watch me forever, ‘kay?”

“I thought they would never bloom. But...They actually did. After seein’ that, I felt like I could accomplish anything. Ya feel the same way, don’t ya?”

Yui: This is...the rose from earlier.

Yuma: Yeah...I’m sure Boss is watchin’ over us as well. He should...be happy for us as well.

Yui: Yeah...! I’m sure of it.

I’m happy, thank you...

Yuma: ...Yeah...

...Okay.

Yui: Yuma-kun...

Yuma: Mukami Yuma vows right here that he will only ever suck Komori Yui’s blood for the rest of his life. There, that’ll do, right?

Yui: ...I can’t feel the love at all, you know?

Yuma: The fuck? Those words are comin’ from a Vampire! It’s the very definition of love!

Yui: But you’d suck my blood even if you didn’t love me, right? Since my blood is especially delicious apparently.

Yuma: ...Che, fine. Come on, lend me yer ear.

Mukami Yuma vows that he will love you forever. ...Happy now?

Yui: Fufu, let’s give you a pass.

Yuma: Heh...Ya really are a pain in the ass.

...Now ya are officially mine, Yui.

Just like I promised earlier, I’ll only ever love ya.

Yui: Yeah. I’ll love you until the day I die as well. 

Yuma: Idiot. It’s ‘Even in death’, isn’t it?

...You’re my very own Eve. I’ll never let ya go again.

ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #more blood #diabolik lovers translation #mbyumaending1

[idratherdreamofjune]

@sunheart wrote in her tags on another post:

Genuinely hate being alive ... I completely understand on so many levels why you would hate being a woman. Its horrible. And then as a Christian there's this whole really ugly dynamic- that i know is probably a lie i just haven't worked out how yet- that we're the 2nd best. The afterthought. The mediocre option. Almost everything in life men are better at and it's hard to believe it's just cultural-  math logic leadership writing cooking writing physical activities on and on, and women are good at being Nice :)   Which ok i like being nice   but it's like that's my only option   I feel like any other impact i might wish to have upon the world   will be paltry in comparison to what i could do   if only i was a man.   I feel incompetent. Irrational. Emotional. Obnoxious.   I feel like I'm supposed to be a plaything for the beings that were *actually* created to be in harmony with God   like I'm not supposed to have a connection with God-  only through my husband   which what does that make me as a single childless bitch?   I can't even fulfill the main point of my existence. Jesus interacted with women but did he care about them like he did the men? David and John were named his favorites not Deborah or Hannah. And like i said i'm sure none of that's true but i don't know how and it feels awful. hate it.

   Hopefully others have shared encouragement on this already, but just in case I wanted to give some thoughts. Please know that if I sound riled at all (and I’m going to try to avoid that) I’m not upset at anyone who feels this way but am deeply upset by the enemy’s lies that so many are hurt by. As a younger believer I did struggle with some of these questions myself, and for a long time it was difficult to reconcile these concerns with the promises that God loves me.

   Your instincts are right - it is a lie that women are second best. And before I go any further let me also agree that yes, we are physically weaker than men and have other weaknesses too. But since when has weakness meant that someone is any way “less than” others? Men have weaknesses too, just different ones. That’s the nature of humanity: every person is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses. I’ve never heard before that men are better at cooking?? My dad literally struggles to cook a hotdog in the microwave and has never touched a grill in his life. And okay men may (possibly, not sure on this one either) be inherently better at math, but which gender is drastically underrepresented in the nursing field? I suspect there are fewer male teachers, too, though not as huge a disparity. Men are more prone to recklessness and violence - part of the reason married men live longer (gotta get that stable influence). Again yes men are physically stronger but have you watched ballet dancers (oooh i mean ballerinas, sorry there’re so few ballerinos that I forgot to differentiate) or female gymnasts? Nothing “less than” there! The famous Proverbs 31 woman is a good insight into Biblical support of female abilities and value: “strength and dignity are her clothing”, “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” “Let her works praise her in the gates.” (The gates were essentially the city hall or forum of ancient Israel.)

   Going back to the beginning - women were created second, true. But did God not know His own plan? He was always going to create women. And the really amazing thing that I learned in the last couple of years is that, when God says He’s going to make Adam “a helper” (Hebrew ”ezer”), that’s the same word that is used to describe God’s actions for His people throughout the Old Testament: - Exodus 18:4 “The God of my father was my help.” - 1 Samuel 7:12 “Ebenezer” means “rock of help” and is a memorial of Yaweh’s help. - Psalm 30:10 “Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!” - Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield” - Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the Lord” - Hosea 13:9 “‘You are against Me, against your helper.’“

It is a common word for “help” used in other settings, yes, but the fact that it’s used of God illustrates that this is no poor or second-rate role. Helping - aiding - supporting - incredibly important! In fact this article I just found puts it this way:

In two cases it refers to the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2. Three times it refers to powerful nations Israel called on for help when besieged. In the sixteen remaining cases the word refers to God as our help. He is the one who comes alongside us in our helplessness. That's the meaning of ezer. Because God is not subordinate to his creatures, any idea that an ezer-helper is inferior is untenable. In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Payne puts it this way: "The noun used here [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest 'helper' as in 'servant,' but help, savior, rescuer, protector.'

   Moving on to the New Testament, and the topic of John, who is known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John is the one who wrote the book which tells us that (under the direction of the Holy Spirit, yes) and he only uses that wording as a title, in place of his name. Nowhere does it say he was the favorite disciple, or even most loved, just that he was loved. To me it seems more as if John is saying “Jesus loved me! Can you believe it?!” It has a feeling of awe and thankfulness as opposed to superiority.

  Getting into marriage specifically, I do believe that a wife should be under the headship of her husband ...mainly in the sense of letting him have the last word on decisions and plans. This is in part due to differing areas of strength, and in part because in some situations it’s better to have a family leader - most groups of humans need a leader, and following an assigned (or picked) leader does not make one inferior. All that being said, a wife should be able to provide input, advice, and feedback to her husband, who should take into strong consideration his wife’s needs, insights, and concerns (Ephesians 5:25-29).

   The lie that women cannot be connected to God outside of their husband is refuted not only by all the vibrantly faithful single or windowed Christian ladies of history (Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, and Elisabeth Elliot are some of my favorites) but also Scripture itself. When Christ spoke with the divorced Samaritan woman the disciples were shocked not because she was a Samaritan but because she was a woman (John 4:27; she was shocked on both counts - John 4:9) - I hope they got used to it because Jesus spoke with women a lot. Despite the culture of the time, Jesus clearly had very warm and caring direct relationships with Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other women. Anna the Prophetess in the temple had been widowed for decades and was serving God alone “night and day” (Luke 2:37). Incredibly, in a culture where women were looked down upon, the Lord chose women to be the first to discover the empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene to be the first to see the risen Christ! I love that passage so much (John 20:11-18).

   Another example is when Jesus stopped on His way to heal Jairus’ daughter (i.e. He put aside a powerful man’s urgent request) to lovingly interact with the woman who’d suffered bleeding for years - a terribly personal and female problem (Mark 5:21-35).

   To try to wrap up, I’ll return to David in the OT, who was a “man after God’s own heart”. But again, it doesn’t say that he was actually a favorite - it does say David was chosen by God though, to lead Israel and establish the family from which Jesus would ultimately come. You know who else was chosen? Esther - “for such a time as this”. Once she realizes the task she must complete, she tells Mordecai how it’s going to go, and “Mordecai then went away and did everything Esther had ordered him.” Esther gets a book named after her and is remembered in the holiday of Purim to this day. Also note that Esther was married to an unbeliever. Likewise Ruth was chosen, as a young foreign widow, to be part of the Messiah’s kingly line. As an aside, my favorite thing about Ruth’s story (besides all the faith and beauty of it) is the simultaneous deep respect and protectiveness Boaz shows towards her (okay enough mush). Anyhow what it comes down to is that God chooses and loves both men and women, and both have a place (singly and married) in His plans and kingdom. See also Galatians 3:28 “ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

   This post has all over the place, and I probably forgot a bunch of things I wanted to add (if anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later), but I hope it’s been encouraging. Yes I’ve struggled with some aspects of how women are portrayed in the Bible, but what I shared above, plus the love and blessings I’ve known as a single woman are more than enough evidence that we are known and loved. If anything is unclear or anyone has any questions please speak out/send an ask! Anon asks are on too. Also if anyone wants to add or amend anything do so without hesitation!!

#marriage #women in the Bible #Book of Ruth #Book of Esther #singleness #Scripture #lies

[zenosanalytic]

Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #The Dreaded Animes #zA Reviews #zA Opinions

[ssamie]

eight. i’m calling the police

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, adam, u have langa’s blue hair sorry 

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"we're sorry!" the three boys exclaimed

"why are you sorry?" she asked in confusion as she stared down at them with furrowed brows "it wasn't your faults, oikawa-san, matsukawa-kun and hanamaki-kun." she reassured them "and you've been apologising the whole day.. its not like you need to anyways" 

"no, we still feel guilty" hanamaki chuckled "since it was our idea in the first place"

"well i was the one who skated so its fine. you don't need to apologise" she smiled at them

"but you're so sad!" oikawa groaned out dramatically "you look so heartbroken!" 

"im really not" she sweatdropped

"will you forgive us if we kneel down?" they asked "we already are, just in case!" y/n sweat dropped as she peered down at their grovelling forms and shook her head. "please don't kneel for me" she said

"its fine. i think i'll manage a few days without it" she said

"so why's your eyes all puffy?" iwaizumi deadpanned

"i cried" she replied with a straight face

"i see." iwaizumi hummed.

"hey, y/n-senpai!" kindaichi called out from the gym. "i think this is yours!" she looked up at him with a look of confusion ran over to where he stood. "what is it?" she asked 

"its your skateboard." kindaichi replied "it's in the gym for some reason" he said. y/n's eyes sparkled as she picked it up and hugged it to her chest. "wow! did you get it back?" she asked him 

"ah no.. it was just there when we entered the gym. kunimi found it" he said as he pointed towards kunimi who was too busy looking at his phone 

"thank you!" she beamed at them 

"no problem. maybe the teacher decided to give it back" he said 

she grinned and happily inspected it for damage just in case. though her smile quickly fell as her eyes trained themselves on a card plastered across the snow monster design's face. she plucked it off and wearily read over the neat letters written in gold ink. 

"you'll need this for later.. " she read with furrowed brows

she flipped the card over and paled as she saw the name that was signed. "love, adam" she shuddered 

"who's adam?" oikawa asked as he peered over her shoulder to read the card 

"um. he's-" she was cut off by the gym lights suddenly shutting off, causing her to jump in surprise. "what happened?" she asked oikawa, who shrugged in response and held her closer to him 

"my eve~" a voice cooed, accompanied by what seems like a sigh of delight and pleasure

she shivered and subconsciously backed up into oikawa's chest as she recognized the voice. "hey, what's wrong? you know that creep?" oikawa asked with a frown 

"its adam." she said 

everyone watched in confusion as the mysterious man entered the gym in an unnecessarily dramatic way. a red carpet rolled from the outside until the spot where y/n stood, and the gym lights turned on but were dimmed. 

"i hope you like my little gift" adam cooed as he skated towards her with a grin "you'll need i for what i have in store, as stated in my letter" he said 

y/n didn't answer but simply looked at him with a grimace, silently praying to whatever god out there that he just trips and dies or something. 

"though i have another gift for you, SNOW" he cooed as he came to a halt before her. adam grinned as he pulled out a huge bouquet of roses "these flowers are red, which symbolise one thing.." he said

"passionate love" adam cooed as he held it before her, making the petals fly around and making her hair sway. 

oikawa blinked once, and twice. he looked at the masked man in both fear and ick. just who the hell as he, anyways? "hey-what the?! aren't you like thirty?!" oikawa accidentally blurted out as he pulled y/n away 

adam simply ignored the brunette and kept his eyes trained on the girl. he waited patiently for her to accept the flowers. 

y/n pursed her lips and reluctantly took it from him. "thanks." she said. 

"you're accepting that??" oikawa groaned out as he looked at her in dread and confusion. 

she shrugged and gently placed the bouquet on a random bench. "adam--" she cut herself off with a squeak as she felt his hands gently grip her waist and pull her closer 

"come to this location i picked out." he whispered into her ear as he handed her another card. y/n stiffly nodded and quickly snatched the card from him, wanting nothing more than to get out of that situation.

"amazing!" adam exclaimed as he, finally, pulled away from her. "you never fail to entertain me, SNOW." he grinned "i knew coming here will be worth my while" he chuckled. 

"ah. right.." she muttered as she looked at him weirdly "wait, did you follow me?" she asked with a raised brow as the realisation finally dawned upon her. 

"other factors do not matter, my eve" adam mused as he took her hand in his and grabbed her hip with his other. "meet me later and let us dance like old times, okay?" he cooed with a smirk 

she looked away in discomfort and reluctantly nodded her head. "right.." she mumbled 

the boys, who were standing right there to witness the whole thing, looked at each other with a look that embodied the term 'what the fuck' and mentally agreed to step up and help her. 

"excuse me." iwaizumi cleared his throat, making adam side eye him with a look of disinterest 

"who are you and what are you doing with y/n?" he asked as he placed his hand on y/n's shoulder to try and pull her free from his grasp. "let go" oikawa said with a scowl as he pried adam's hands off her

"who are these nuisances, my eve?" adam asked her as he completely ignored their presence. "i thought i've already gotten rid of that redhead, and yet new names will be added into the list" adam hummed with a smile 

y/n gulped as she took note of the faint hostility behind his tone. "they're my friends." she said as she backed away from him and into oikawa’s arms once again 

"i'll meet you for a beef later but that's all" she said as she turned away from him "after that, please leave, adam." she requested with a sigh as she picked up the bouquet and her bag 

she gathered the boys and pushed them all out of the gym, quickly ushering them to run off along with her. she looked back one last time, only to be met with adam's eyes which seemed to be comically glowing red under his mask, paired with a grin 

she gulped and set him a curt nod. "bye" she said 

"goodbye, my eve" adam cooed as he watched her run off to the boys 

"hey hey! what the hell was that?!" oikawa exclaimed as he hugged y/n tightly in his arms "that creepy mask man came out of nowhere!" he said "and why'd he start touching you?" 

"yeah, who was that?" iwaizumi asked her

"his name is adam, or atleast that's what we call him" she replied "he's just like that, don't mind him" 

"uh no, i think i'm gonna mind him, thanks very much" oikawa scoffed "what did you mean when you asked if he followed you?" he asked with furrowed brows 

"oh.. well there's no other way he would've known i was here" she replied as she leaned back against his chest 

"also, oikawa-san.." she trailed off

"yeah?" he hummed 

"why are you still holding me?" 

oikawa blinked and slowly retracted his arms with a hint of reluctance. "haha, sorry" he chuckled 

"why does he call you eve?" matsukawa sweat dropped. "it has something to do with his name. adam, and eve.. like lovers" she answered with a look of distaste 

"..." 

iwaizumi let out a sigh before pulling out his phone and dialling a number. "im calling the police." he said 

"ah, don't do that" she waved her hands dismissively "i don't think that'll do much anyways" 

"well, he's clearly sick in the head so maybe they'll take him somewhere else other than jail" matsukawa mused. "ya know.." hanamaki chimed in "like the psych ward or something" 

"well when you put it like that.." y/n sweat dropped 

oikawa had a frown on his lips as they chatted. he wasn't joining in like he usually would, and was simply thinking to himself. y/n side eyed him and nudged him with her shoulder. "would you like to have dinner together, oikawa-san?" she asked him 

oikawa's eyes widened as his head instantly snapped over to hers "what?!" he spluttered "did you just ask me out?" 

"... i asked if you wanted to have dinner" she said 

oikawa bit back his tongue as he yearned to say 'that's the same thing!' but fought against it. "ah, sure!" he agreed with a grin. she smiled back and nodded. "great. i needed to stop thinking about adam" she said 

"also, will you guys come with me later?" she asked them 

the boys raised laughed and immediately nodded. "well, i was going to tell you not to go but.. i guess it'll be fine with us there" iwaizumi said. "yeah. if that dude does something sketchy, i'll seriously call 911" hanamaki laughed 

"oh, you can't." she said. "or else you and i will get involved. the skating i do isnt really appreciated by legal forces." she chuckled nervously 

"what?" 

"its kind of illegal." 

"...y/n.." iwaizumi trailed off with a sigh. 

"no way?! cool!" oikawa exclaimed as he gave her a high five. "it is, isn't it?!" she grinned as she and oikawa laughed together 

"jesus christ." iwaizumi deadpanned 

"that dinner was great!" she grinned as she sent oikawa a thumbs up 

"ah you're right.." he agreed with a meek laugh. "though it would've been better without them." he muttered as he sent the iwaizumi, maki, and mattsun a glare 

"oh cmon captain!" hanamaki mused "you love us!" he laughed. "no i don't" oikawa huffed and crossed his arms. 

"well, i love you guys" y/n interjected with an innocent smile

oikawa jumped and hastily waved his arms about. "no! no you don't!" he exclaimed. "why.. why not?" she sweat dropped 

"that should be saved for a special someone!" he said "cough. me. cough." 

"you're right!" y/n beamed with a grin "like reki!" 

oikawa dramatically sulked, kicking rocks by his feet and muttering under his breath as a gloomy aura surrounds him. "reki this reki that. why is it always reki? hmp" he muttered bitterly to himself 

iwaizumi sweat dropped and simply dragged him along "shut up, shittykawa. this is just getting sad" he said. "also, y/n where exactly are we going?" iwaizumi asked her as he looked around the dark and unsettling part of the woods they have entered 

"adam said he set up a course for us tonight" she answered with a shrug as she pushed her way through random bushes "it has to be hidden but we're very close, don't worry." she reassured 

"that's the problem. we're close." iwaizumi sighed. "just so you know, im still against this whole thing" 

"don't worry iwaizumi-san! it'll be fun!" y/n said with a grin as she pushed through one last bush, revealing a bright light from behind. 

"ah, there she is!"

y/n covered her eyes as a bright light shone against her "my eve!" adam announced followed by multiple cheers and shouts

"what the hell..?" matsukawa muttered as he looked around the abandoned looking part of the forest which was littered with skaters cheering and watching. "what the hell is this place?" she muttered as she recognised a few faces from S "is this S..?"

"my eve" adam cooed as he skated towards her "do you like it?"

"i've gathered everyone here to see you skate!" he exclaimed "everyone has missed you. but not as much as me" adam grinned as he tucked a single rose between her ear, making her shudder and warily poke at the flower.

"is reki here?" she asked with widened eyes as she looked around for a certain redhead

"that boy is not needed, is he not?" adam rebutted with a scowl "so there was no need to invite him."

her face fell at the statement and peered up at him with a frown. "don't say that about him.." she muttered

adam hummed and lit up a cigarette. "if emotions could be seen by the eye, what shapes would they be?" he mused

y/n brows furrowed as he listened to him. "i believe it will be a spring. and that spring will have different amounts of water depending on the occasion." he said "my spring is currently completely dry. because i don't have even one millimeter of interest in that.. reki..." he said with a grimace 

"but you.." adam trailed off as he threw the cigar away. 

he skated towards her and grinned, encaging her in a bubble her as he skates around her. "good.. you're good.." he said with a sigh of pleasure 

"it flows out... it gushes out!" adam exclaimed 

"that's right. the prize of this bet shall be you!" he announced as he gripped her waist and pulled her closer to him so their chest were touching "and what shall you ask for if you win, little y/n?" adam cooed as he tilted his head with a grin 

y/n sheepishly looked away from him and muttered. "if i win.. you have to go back and leave me alone.." she said 

adam's smile momentarily fell. he then grinned and nodded along. "what a cruel request" he mused "but if that is what you want then so be it.." he chuckled 

"but that just means i have to win no matter what, right?" 

y/n looked at him with dread. she didn't answer but simply turned away from him and faced the boys. "hey, i think we should leave" oikawa suggested with a nervous laugh "that guy is crazy!" 

"and what's with this place? i thought for sure he'd just bring you to a skatepark or something" he said as he eyes the various skaters who were chatting along 

"you'll see oikawa-san." 

everyone watched in anticipation as the lights blink one by one, a buzzing sound acting as a count down for them. as the last ringing of the buzzer filled the air, both adam and y/n skated off.

"holy shit" matsukawa cursed in surprise

they had done so in immense speed and force, that they'd even left some skid marks and a trail of dust and rubble behind

"yeah! go SNOW!" "im betting on you, SNOW!!" "SNOW you better win!"

oikawa watched with widened eyes as the crowd around them cheered and hollered, shouting her alias along with some encouragement. "snow?" oikawa hummed in confusion "is that like a nickname or something?" he muttered

"yes. we like to keep our personal lives apart from our skating activities." a guy chimed in "and that includes our given names, so we make up aliases or nicknames, as you said."

oikawa looked up at the man with a mask and nervously chuckled "i see." he said "what's your name then, sir?" he asked, only to quickly correct himself "or ma'am? uh-"

"cherry." he answered

cherry looked oikawa up and down and brought his eyes up to the screen displaying y/n and adam. "also im a guy." he said with a sigh. "ah right, sorry" oikawa chuckled

"its the hair isn't it?" a new voice cooed followed by a laugh 

oikawa watched as cherry sighed and irritably glare at the green haired guy that skated towards them. 

"sup kid" joe greeted with a nod "i heard you came with our rookie over there" he mused as he stared up at the girl through the screen. "im joe. im a friend of hers" he said with a grin as he held his hand out for him to shake. "cherry here is too" 

"oikawa tooru" oikawa said as he accepted the hand shake "im also her friend" he smiled at them 

"stop talking and watch. she brought you here so you better make the most of it" cherry interrupted their conversation 

"right.." oikawa nodded 

"YEAH GO SNOW!" "she's speeding up!" "ADAM's totally catching up though!" 

oikawa's eyes glistened in wonder and amazement as he watched her sharply turn a corner and flip her board around, using the edge to balance herself from the steep curve of the concrete. 

"its here!" adam exclaimed in delight 

y/n turned back with a cautious gaze as she watched in partial dread and confusion as adam does some type of dance as he skates. though she wouldn't lie, it was kid of impressive for him to keep his balance. but still.. 

" here, here! right in my heart!" adam exclaimed with a light squeal, continuing to dance and spin around, only making her dread what was to come next even more. 

"now, little y/n.." adam cooed as he suddenly appeared behind her to grab her waist and drag her closer to him, causing their boards to bump. 

"dance with me!" he said with a grin as he took her hand and maneuvered their way through the curves and turns of the course 

"what the..?! that's dangerous! shouldnt this be against the rules or something?!" oikawa exclaimed as he watched the scene play out in fear 

"no. there are no rules when it comes to S." cherry explained. "it may be dangerous but, the moment she agreed to the beef was her brushing off the consequences she may face." 

oikawa gulped and look back up, watching on distaste as adam spreads her feet to make her lose her balance 

iwaizumi, matsukawa and hanamaki's expressions were just about the same. they didn't really know what they were expecting when she brought them here but it surely wasn't this. 

adam chuckled as he pushed her, making her stumble and almost fall off, only for him to catch her by the small of her back and dipping her as if it was a dance. 

"okay, this is going too far.." iwaizumi muttered as they watched her expression through the screen 

y/n gritted her teeth as she glared up at him, only for adam to smile at her in amusement. 

"y/n.." oikawa muttered with a frown as he felt the worry build up inside of him 

"we're approaching a big corner now!" adam taunted her. he intertwined their hands and grinned mischievously as he lifted her up and started spinning her around. "here we go!" he exclaimed with a laugh

it was a total contrast to her screams of pure dread and adrenaline, tightly gripping his hands so she wouldn't fall and injure herself 

"this is so fun, SNOW!" adam cooed as she finally was able to place her feet back on her board, although they were still spinning 

everyone watched as the camera zoomed in on them, showing her widened eyes and gritted teeth as she stared up at adam, who was smiling tauntingly at her. "oh? is something the matter?" adam cooed "please don't tell me youre scared." 

it seems everyone, including adam was pleasnatly surprised as a small but noticeable smirk carved itself onto her lips. maybe it was adrenaline, but it seemed like it was out of enjoyment as well. after all, it's been a while since she's skated properly against someone. 

y/n grinned as she narrower the space between them, pushing herself against him as she took turn to maneuver them against the turn 

"she narrowed the turn radius to speed up" joe said as he stared up at the screen with a proud and amused smile "still the same as always" 

the boys looked at him and gulped. they had no idea what was happening whatsoever, except for the fact that she can literally die or injure herself with one wrong move. 

"love-love-love-lovely!" adam exclaimed with a laugh "wonderful!". y/n panted as she pulled away and finally managed to get a grip of her board once again 

"he's gonna do the love hug" a new voice filled the air 

the boys whipped their heads around to see a redhead rushing towards the scene with two other guys, one younger. 

"love hug..?" oikawa tilted his head in confusion as he peered down at the vaguely familiar redhead. though his attention was averted back to the screen as the atmosphere seemed to have grown heavier 

adam was grinning as he spun back around, spreading his arms as he looked at her through his mask. "come here.. into my arms!" adam cooed "love hug!" 

"Y/N!!" reki exclaimed as he shifted anticipatingly in his place, dropping his own board in the process 

as comical as it was, she somehow managed to hear his scream. maybe it was because everyone else was quiet due to suspense. but reki's voice echoed throughout the cleared out forest loud enough for her to hear. 

"reki..?" y/n spluttered as she immediately jumped over adam, performing what looks to be a snowboarding trick. she stayed in the air for longer as she eyed the area she planned to land. 

"YEAH! GO SNOW!" cheers erupted among the audience, filling the tense air with noise yet again. 

"she did it!" reki grinned as he watched her through the screen 

"reki?" oikawa mumbled with widened eyes as he looked at the redhead with a new sense of intimidation and wariness. though his eyes were quickly averted back to the scene before him. as unexpected as it was, he'd still rather focus on y/n skating rather than some kid he didn't know. 

"adam's not having it." cherry sighed as he watch adam try to keep up with her speed but struggle due to the advantage she had received

"she's gonna win!" reki grinned as he watched the two skate in anticipation

and just as he had predicted, loud screeching of her board's tires were heard as she passed over the finish line. "ah-ah shit!-" she cursed as she lost her balance and toppled over, causing her to wince in pain 

"ouch.." she sighed as she sat up on the ground, rubbing her head and checking her board for damage since the course was rockier than usual 

"y/n-chan!" oikawa exclaimed as he, along with the three boys rushed over to her, given that the finish line was a few yards away from them. "oikawa-san!" she faced him with a grin as she opened her arms for him to drop into "i won!" she said

"i know! you were so cool!" oikawa gushed as he stared up at her in admiration

"ehem." iwaizumi cleared his throat

"oh right." oikawa muttered. "but that was really dangerous!" he scolded her, a total contrast to his reaction before. "are you injured? your hand is probably wounded with how much you skidded it against the rocks!"

she smiled sheepishly and shook her head "im fine, oikawa-san" she reassured him "my hands and feet are kind of sore but it's alright"

"also.. was reki here? i heard him" she asked as she looked around the place, trying to find the redhead 

"i've lost" adam said as he stopped before her 

"you.. you do remember what my request was right?" she asked him with a wary gaze. "of course, my eve" adam mused. "i'm not very happy with it, as you may know" 

she looked down at her shoes and gave him a quick bow "sorry." she said "but a bet is a bet. and i won." y/n looked up at him and sent him a faint ghost of a smile. "it was fun skating with you, adam. but you have to distance yourself from me.." 

adam gazed at her with pursed lips, not looking too amused about the situation, but nodded nonetheless. "im glad i've left you satisfied, my eve" he cooed as he took her hand in his and placed a quick peck onto her knuckles 

the boys around her sweat dropped as they witnessed the strange and awfully uncomfortable interaction. "right well.." iwaizumi cleared his throat as he hesitantly pushed them apart. "we'll be going now." he said "this place is dangerous and you shouldn't really be making her participate in reckless things like this. do better sir." 

y/n smiled at him and chuckled as he dragged her away along with the others, more that eager to leave that place. 

"you're never skating ever again." iwaizumi said to break the silence 

"what?! no way!" she whined "didn't you see that iwaizumi-san? it was so fun!" 

"that guy was a creep and you were on the verge of dying." 

"well.. it was fun though" she huffed as she realised she couldn't even disagree with his statement 

"well, i think it looked fun" oikawa whispered to her with a cheeky wink, making her chuckle and suppress a smile 

"anyways.." she started as they had finally reached the exit of the forest. "i asked you before but.. was reki there? i heard him" she said 

"reki? well..." oikawa hesitated as he nervously looks around the place. "was he there, oikawa-san?" she asked him with an innocent smile 

"he-" 

"Y/N I FOUND YOU!!" 

i just used the whole beef langa had w adam on ep.5 here lol </3

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :> 

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #hq x y/n #haikyuu x y/n #hq x reader #hq x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyu x y/n #haikyu x you #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #hq oikawa #oikawa fluff #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa tooru x you #reki x reader #reki kyan x you #reki x y/n #langa hasegawa #sk8 infinity #skate the infinity #sk8 x reader #sk8 the infinity x reader #aoba josai x reader #seijoh x reader #langa x reader

[casualmaraudering]

/ so, inspired by a fanart i did recently have some fem sirius being a lesbian and having a lot of conflicting feelings!

cw: internalised homophobia, religious (catholic) themes, very brief contemplation of nudity (i guess)

*

*

“-inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me,” Sirius slowly whispers to herself, head low, breathing in the scent of smoking incense and burning candle wax.

The chapel is empty - rightfully so, seeing as it is nearing 1 am by now. Only the faint light of the candles atop of the altar shines in the room - it’s far too cloudy for the moonlight to come through the stained glass. There’s no sounds in the air, aside an occasional ambience of the night.

Being by herself, and with no chance of anyone interrupting her, Sirius kneels at the kneeler in the main portion of the small chapel. Rather than in front of the main altar, she’s at the side one, with a marble statue of Virgin Mary right in the centre. She had been taught by a nanny - the one who cared for her since birth - that it’s Mary you should go to if you seek guidance and, most of all, forgiveness. The purest of souls, she had been, and that she continues to be, blessing peace onto those who truly seek it. It’s what she had believed in, and poured that belief into Sirius, urging her to pray, rosary in hand, every night before bed.

It has been years since then, though. Sirius’s view of the world is so much different, now that she’s nearly an adult woman. She has met a great number of people, read a great number of books. Her beliefs are so much more than what they’ve been when she was little, mindlessly following her parents’ every step and command. She is worth more than that, now she knows.

And yet, here she is, once again, kneeled with a rosary in hand, just as she had been as a child. Except when she was small, things had been so simple. That whirlwind of emotions inside her chest and constant battle in her mind were nowhere in sight, not the way they are now, ever-present, constantly nagging her and making it hard to breathe.

She prays for so many things. Forgiveness. Guidance. Knowledge. An answer of any kind, really. A push towards one of the sides of war her mind and soul are battling. She doesn’t know who to believe, she doesn’t know if she should feel dirty or proud, whether she should seek penance and plead remorse, or let go and follow her heart.

If only Mary could answer her. Just that one question. Yes, or no.

Is what the people say true? The nuns and pastors and her parents, are they right? When they say that people like her are a plague on this world, that they’ll burn in hell, is this what awaits her?

“Is it wrong of me to love a woman?”

No answer ever comes, of course. None ever does.

God works in mysterious ways, Father Connolly would say. Frankly, Sirius thinks he’s full of shit.

She has gone through almost twenty beads on her rosary when she hears the unmistakable sound of the chapel doors opening.

She freezes, breathing out quietly, squeezing the rosary in her hand, waiting for a teacher to call her name. She’s no stranger to detention, of course, but maybe this time she could talk her way out - she left her bed, yes, but only to pray in the chapel. Surely whatever nun caught her out of bed after curfew will understand that.

“Sirius?”

At the sound of that voice, her breath catches in her throat. The very same voice that got her kneeling here tonight, torn from the inside, aching with confusion. Burning with desire.

“Remus,” she replies, hoping her voice sounds at least a bit relaxed, not giving away the sudden pace of her heart and the coil in her stomach. She shoves the rosary into the pocket of her jacket, and she quickly turns around, standing up.

Remus walks towards her from the darkness, lit by the gentle candlelight. For the first time, Sirius sees her with her hair loose, falling in curling strands around her face and down past her shoulders, resting on her chest. She’s wearing a nightgown - a white, thin fabric, from the looks of it.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Remus says at sudden, gesturing at the kneeler.

“I was done anyway,” Sirius replies with a smile. She sits down on the kneeler, trying to appear relaxed.

Remus nods, and steps closer to sit right next to Sirius, leaning against the brick wall of the altar, facing Sirius with her head just slightly cocked to the side.

“What are you out here for this late?”

Sirius chooses to shrug - she can’t exactly say why. It’s not like she could tell anyone at all, yet alone Remus of all people.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she replies finally.

“So you decided to pray?”

“You have said before that I’m ‘the religious type’,” Sirius reminds her with a smile. “It’s just… I had a nanny growing up. My parents are pretty well off, and it’s like a thing in our family to have someone take care of the kids full time. And that nanny would have me pray before bed, every single night. She said that if I ever need guidance or forgiveness or comfort, I should pray to Mary.”

“And you’re looking for guidance? Or forgiveness?” Remus nudges her with her shoulder, smiling in that particular way of hers that makes all of Sirius’s insides feel as if she’s on fire in the most pleasant of ways.

She looks gorgeous in the faint candlelight. Her hair is wild, curling here and there, a few strands over her face yet she doesn’t seem bothered by it. Sirius can just faintly see the scattering of freckles on her nose - a nose flushed red just slightly, likely cause of the cold outside. Her lips are red too - plump, smooth, soft.

And once she lets her eyes wander, Sirius can’t stop it. Her long neck, the necklace she always wears resting on it. Her collarbones, barely visible from under her hair. A few freckles disappearing under the edge of her gown.

She isn’t wearing a bra, Sirius notes, cursing herself for even noticing. And yet, when Remus leans back on her forearms and turns her head to look around her chapel, stretching her body in an outright sinful way, Sirius can’t not look. The curve of her breasts hidden by the thin fabric - just barely there and yet at the same time drawing her eyes in, taunting her.

“Say,” Sirius says at last - slowly, carefully choosing every word that falls out of her mouth, still letting her eyes bask in the glory of the woman before her. “-do you think that if something is out of your control - you try to go against it as much as you can, but it’s not possible… is it sin? You can’t help it no matter how hard you try, it’s like… engraved into you. Is it still unforgivable?”

Remus is silent for a moment, her head still turned forward towards the chapel. And so Sirius’s eyes remain fixed on her, the curve of her body, the way the fabric falls around those curves, covering some but still letting her see just enough of her silhouette.

Licking her lips, Sirius’s mind wanders back to the thoughts she rarely lets herself have - what would she look like without that nightgown covering her? What would it be like to see her here, posing on display, her whole body uncovered and shameless?

Is loving a woman so bad, if clearly women were made to be worshipped? Sirius can’t imagine not letting her eyes sway around Remus’s body, wishing so badly to as much as see it, touch it just once. It would only be natural to follow those desires. And if this is the forbidden fruit, as if Eve were the forbidden fruit… Adam had succumbed to her. How can Sirius not?

“You are who you are,” Remus answers. She turns back towards Sirius, scooting a bit closer. “-and don’t the texts say that God made us in his image?”

“They do, but-”

“Then how could something within your nature be wrong? If it’s that much out of your control that you can do nothing to stop it, how different is it from breathing? From eating? From living? It’s a natural part of you, and it was intended to be a part of you. You don’t need to ask for forgiveness if there’s nothing to forgive.”

Sirius lets her eyes hit the floor, breathing slowly.

If what Remus says is true, why has she heard, over and over, that people like her are not welcome within their communities? Why have all of their teachers preached against it and acted as if it’s the greatest sin one could commit?

“I know a lot of people talk, but often enough, they don’t know what they’re talking about,” Remus continues, seemingly reading into Sirius’s thoughts or straight into her soul. “We’ve had so many classes on it, read through pretty much every page of the Bible. Do you remember any lines that said it’s sinful? Even one?”

She doesn’t. Maybe she’s forgotten, but honestly, she would have remembered. It would be engraved into her conscience just like everything she had heard people say about it. Her thoughts circle around it every night, when she can’t sleep. Every word, every threat, every stab right in the heart. Sinful, unnatural, wrong, Adam, Eve, Hell.

And yet she doesn’t remember stumbling onto it in the one source that does matter most.

“Of course, you could always read through it again, but I don’t see the point, honestly,” Remus keeps talking, shrugging at her, once again with that smile. “I can tell you, if Mary could tell you, she’d say that you’re good. It might seem terrifying at first, but you’re not the only one that feels this way.”

Sirius blinks slowly, brows furrowed in confusion. It’s as if-

“D-do-... are you-... what?”

Remus laughs - and truly, it is a marvellous sound, one Sirius could compare to what she thinks a choir of angels would likely sound like - and she gets up, brushing off any dirt from her gown.

“I know what you’re talking about, yes,” she confirms, taking a step back, but turning around so she can still look Sirius in the face. “Trust me when I say it - you aren’t the only one.”

She smiles, and Sirius feels like her brain isn’t quite catching up with what’s going on at the moment. And then Remus takes a few steps towards her and brushes a strand of Sirius’s hair behind her ear, her face close enough that Sirius sees the reflection of flickering candles in her honey eyes.

It’s a short, fleeting moment - Remus is there, with her eyes and freckles and hair and nose and smile and smell of chocolate and vanilla -and then she’s gone, taking a step back, then two, then three.

“I’ll see you around. Goodnight, Sirius.”

She steps away. Turns around. And with that she leaves, her white gown fluttering with her movement, her hair bouncing with her step, disappearing into the darkness. Sirius is left to herself in the empty chapel, heart hammering, chest flaming with emotion, stomach tight with desire.

God have mercy on me.

#this is the gayest thing i've written in quite a while #might turn into a full fic #if people will like this damn mess cuz i think it's kinda obscure sfkdsf #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #fem wolfstar #female wolfstar #fem sirius black #female sirius black #fem remus lupin #female remus lupin #just two gals being pals in a chapel #my tag #writing tag #my writing tag

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

David's Joy over Forgiveness - Psalms 32

"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit."

Human biographers usually pass over matters that are not beautiful. They tell of the things that are attractive and honorable - but say little of faults and blemishes. One of the remarkable features of the Bible in writing biographies, is that it does not hide good men's faults nor conceal their sins. One reason is, that it would warn us against even the best men's mistakes.

On the Alps, places where men have fallen, are marked for the warning of other tourists who may come that way. So we are told of the sins and falls of godly men - that we may not repeat their mistakes. Another reason is to show us the greatness of the divine mercy that can forgive such sins and then restore the sinner to noble and useful life. As terrible as David's sin was - the story of his fall and restoration has been a blessing to millions.

"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered." This is a most suggestive beatitude. If we had been writing it, we would have said, "Blessed is he who never has sinned." But if it read thus, it would have no comfort for anyone in this world, for there are no sinless people here. Holy angels might have enjoyed its comfort - but no others could. We may be very thankful that the beatitude runs as it does, "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered." This brings the blessing within the reach of everyone of us.

It is the first in all the long list of Blesseds, for no blessing can come to any soul - until it has been forgiven of its sins. The gate of forgiveness is the first gate we must pass through, before we can receive any of the other blessings of God's love. Unforgiven sin lies across our path - as a mountain which no one can cross over. No other favor or gift or prosperity is of any avail - while our sins remain uncancelled. But with forgiveness, come all the blessings of life and glory.

The word "covered" seems a strange word to use about anyone's life. There is one way of covering sin which can bring no peace, no blessing. We must not try to cover our own sin, so as to hide it from God. That is what David had been doing with his sins which at last he brought to God, and he tells us a little farther on in the Psalm how little blessing he found in that way. Says the wise man: "He who covers his sins shall not prosper. But whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy." Sins which we cover ourselves, even most successfully, as it appears, are not forgiven. They are like slumbering fires in the volcano, ready to burst out any moment in all their terribleness. But when God covers our sins - they are put away out of sight forever - out of our sight, out of the world's sight, out of God's sight. The Lord says He will remember our sins against us no more forever. So the covering is complete and final - when it is God's.

"When I kept silence, my bones wasted away, through my groaning all the day long." Sometimes we ought to be silent to God. This is the wise thing to do when sore trials are upon us, and we do not know what to do. "I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for You are the one who has done this!" There is a great blessing in such silence to God. It brings peace, joy, comfort. It means a submission to God's will - in time of suffering. But here is a silence to God, which does not bring blessing - silence about our sins. Unconfessed sins cause only bitterness and sorrow.

David's language here tells the sad story of the days when he kept silent about his guilt, when he tried to hide it, when he made no confession, was not penitent. It was almost a year. He went on with his work, keeping up the external show of royal honor, probably even engaging outwardly in the worship of God. But he could not put away the consciousness of his sins. This memory stayed on his mind and saddened every joy, embittered every sweet, and shadowed the face of God. His very body suffered, and his heart kept crying out continually. It will never do just to keep quiet about our sins and try to hide them and forget them. We should never keep silent to God, even a moment about any sin we have committed. We should tell Him at once - the evil thing we have done.

"Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' - and You forgave the guilt of my sin!" The moment David confessed his sins, back on the very echo of his liturgy of penitence, came the blessed assurance of pardon. "I have sinned" - "The Lord has also put away your sin." "I will confess" - "You forgave."

So we learn the only way to get forgiven of our sins - we must put them out of our heart - into the hands of God, by sincere and humble confession, and by true repentance. Then they will trouble us no more forever.

Some people try to hide away from God when they have sinned - but this also is a vain effort. Adam and Eve tried this, hiding in the garden after their transgression, when they heard the footsteps of God approaching. But God called them and brought them out before His face to confess their sin. The only safe flight for the sinner from sin and from God - is to God. In the divine mercy and beneath the cross of Christ - there is secure and eternal refuge. "You are my hiding place."

The Book of Revelation pictures men, in the day of judgment, calling upon the rocks and the hills to fall upon them - and hide them from the wrath of the Lamb. But the cry is in vain. In their despair many men and women resort to suicide, ending their lives in the effort to get away from their sins. Thus they only rush the more quickly and with added sin on their souls - into the presence of the Judge they so much dread! But God is the real hiding place from sin. His mercy is an eternal refuge. When He covers sins - they are covered forever. "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." No pursuer or avenger ever can pass the door of that refuge, to drag the forgiven one out. Christ has died for him - and he is free forever.

"You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." God is also a hiding place, a refuge from trouble. "God had one Son without sin ; but He has none without sorrow ." But there is a hiding place to which sorrowing ones can flee, and where they will find comfort that shall give them peace. "In the world you have tribulation. In Me you may have peace," says the Master. The sorrow may not be shut out - but the divine peace comes into the heart and calms it.

God is also a hiding place from danger. In the wildest terrors and alarms we can run to Him, and lying down in His bosom, be safe. The danger may burst upon us - but we shall be safe; though we may suffer in our person or in our estate, our inner life shall be unhurt.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Forgiveness is not the whole of Christian life. The forgiven one enters God's school, and comes under His instruction. We are to go on increasing in knowledge. We have God Himself for our teacher. God is always setting lessons for us. The lessons are not always easy; sometimes they are very hard. God teaches us many of our best songs - in the gloom of sick rooms, or in some experience of sorrow. Life is full of lessons. Every day, new ones are set for us, and we should be good pupils, ready learners.

"Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle." Then, God also guides us in the way we should go. If we would have His guidance, however, we must be ready to follow, to do all He bids us to do. We must not be like the horse or mule, which have to be compelled by bit and bridle. Our submission should be willing and glad.

"Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!" JOY is a Christian duty. God wants His children all to be happy. Do they never have troubles? Yes, many of them. It is those whom the Lord loves - that He chastens. It is the fruitful branches - that the gardener prunes. Still God wants His believing ones to rejoice and be glad. No duty is enjoined in the Scriptures with greater frequency, than that of joy. We must learn to rejoice even in pain and sorrow .

We must notice, however, what kind of joy it is that we are so earnestly urged to have. It is not the world's joy, "Rejoice in the LORD." The gladness has its source and fountain in God. It is God's own gladness, communicated by the Divine Spirit. There is a gladness which is found in sin, which comes from evil-doing; but the gladness of the child of God - is found in obedience to God and in holy living. Those whose gladness depends only on earthly things, have no assurance of its continuance, for all earthly things are transitory.

Flowers make us glad - but tomorrow they have faded. When it is the love of Christ that gives us gladness - our joy is sure, for His joy is everlasting. So we need to give good heed to the grounds of our gladness. To be glad in the Lord, comes from putting our trust in Him, in accepting His salvation, His grace, in believing in His love - and then in doing day by day our simple duty, leaving to Him all care, all providing, all protecting, and never allowing a fear or a shadow of anxiety to cross our minds.

#Psalm 32 #Devotional Hours Within the Bible #J.R. Miller #March 11 #2021

[sophielovesbarnes]

All or nothing, chapter two.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Winchester!reader

Warnings: Fluff, pregnancy and cursing.

Author note: Alright, here we are, hot out of the oven! Sorry if it took long, I got stuck on a scene but I finally broke the writer’s block and was able to finish this chapter, we will get to see a bit more of SPN on this chapter.

I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what do you think, dm me if you want to be tagged and remember requests are open.

Chapter one

Masterlist

Chapter two

“Come on ladies! They are not called suicide running drills for nothing!” Your coach screams, you are beyond exhausted, your legs feel like they will give in, in any second now, you are covered in sweat from head to toe and your lungs feel like they are on fire. With the National competition getting closer every day your coach gets more demanding and the training sessions become more intense.

“So.” You manage to get out. “I don’t know if calling him is too straight forward.”

“Well.” Ingrid answers with her chest heaving. “It’s not like you have cared about that before.”

“Winchester! Fritz! If you are able to speak then you are not doing it right!” 

Ingrid smiles at you and then you both get back to running, an hour; that feels like an eternity later, you are under the shower letting the water wash away your exhaustion, you still have two classes left and you need to mentally prepare yourself for them. 

When you are changing into a pink dress Ingrid returns to the topic.

“So what are you going to do?” She asks while brushing her hair. “Are you gonna call the hot FBI agent?”

“I think I will.” You tie your hair up and close your locker. “There’s something really special about him, I just can’t put my finger in what.” 

“Aww little Y/N has a crush.”

“Shut it Ingrid, at least I’m doing something about mine.” You say teasingly.

“Hey I’m your base, you don’t wanna bother me.” You both look at each other with serious looks in your face and then burst into laughter. “No but seriously, tell me how it goes.” 

“Will do, bye babes.” You kiss her cheek and then leave the locker room. 

During class you are barely able to pay attention, when your psychodynamic teacher is talking about the five stages of psychosexual development and the fixations in the oral stage your mind is traveling far away, focused on soft brunet locks and shy smiles.

After school you go back to your apartment, you order chinese for dinner and when the food comes and you are so distracted you are almost sure you gave the delivery guy a 50 dollar bill and told him to keep the change, you eat absentmindedly and then head to your bathroom toying with your phone, after taking a bath you are on your bed, dressed with clean pajamas and your hair wrapped up with a towel, then you finally gather enough courage to make the call. 

The phone rings three times before he answers.

“Hello?” Your heart flutters at the sound of his voice. 

“Doctor Reid?”

“Who is this?” He asks, you can hear the nervousness in his voice.

“It’s Y/N Winchester.” You answer calmly .”You gave me your card at the FBI lecture at Louisville.” 

“Right, how- how may I help you?” He replies.

“I have a lot of questions, and you told me to call if I had them.” You take a deep breath and then say with a wide smile on your face. “But I thought it would be unfair to just ask without giving something in return, so what do you say about me buying you coffee tomorrow? If you’re still in town.” 

Silence.

You mentally slap yourself for being too straightforward, what made you think that he wants to go out with you? He most likely has a girlfriend and here you are throwing yourself to him? God, you are so stupid.

“I-I yeah, that would be…” You listen to him taking a deep breath and then he continues. “That would be nice.”

“Great! We should go to Quills, they make this mean peach- lavender lattes.”

“Sounds good.”

“Does four o’clock work for you?”

“Yeah, that’s okay.” 

“Hey pretty boy, who are you talking to?” Says a voice on the back, then the call ends.

You are smiling so hard your cheeks hurt, you have a date; well, meeting with doctor Reid, and you can barely hold your emotion. What are you gonna wear? What are you gonna say? Maybe this was a rash idea. 

The ring of your phone snaps your mind out of it, when you pick up you see your brother’s face and on the back you hear the sound of vomiting.

“I’m guessing Jo hasn’t passed the throwing up all the time fase.”

“At this point I am pretty sure she kind of hates me.” Says your Adam.

“I don’t kind of hate you Adam, I hate you, hate you.” You hear Jo say, then the sound of vomiting returns.

Jo’s pregnancy had caught everyone off guard, she and Adam were always fighting or calling each other names, but then at the New Year’s Eve party Ellen threw on the Roadhouse they both had too much to drink and the next thing you knew was that you were going to have another nephew or niece in nine months, there was a lot of crying and at some point Ellen threatened to cut your brother’s balls off, now she was just happy with the idea of having a grandchild. 

After the initial shock you were happy as well, this wasn’t your first nephew/niece though, Sam and Jessica had two beautiful daughters you adored, Dean had Ben; who was only a couple years younger than you, which was weird; and with Castiel, Dean had applied to be a foster parent, they now had a little boy; Leo, and were hoping to get another child.

You had such a beautiful family and were so grateful for it. 

“How are you baby sis?” Adam asks, ignoring Jo’s comment.

“I’m good, very tired, our coach is killing us, and I have a duckton of homework, but in general things are going great, what about you, how are things going on Kansas?”

“Things are good, the workshop is getting a lot of cars, Sam, Jess and the girls visit us every now and then, and Dean and Cas are all about Leo.”

“That’s gonna be you in a couple months you know? Have you thought of any names?”

“Jo likes William or Genevieve, I like Magnolia or Jebediah, Jo doesn’t like them so we have reached an impasse.” You see Jo exiting the bathroom and standing next to your brother.

“Those are old people’s names, tell him Y/N.” Jo says. “Tell him they are horrible names and we are not naming my child like an old person.”

“Our child” He corrects, “And they are good names Joanna.”

“I hate to not be on your side bro, but Jo is right, they are horrible.” You say.

“Thank you Y/N at least one Winchester is using her brain.” Adam rolls his eyes and you laugh.

“They are good names!” Adam insists.

“No they are not.”  You and Jo say at the same time, she was your best friend and somehow you were always in synchrony. 

“Now if you can’t reach an agreement Y/N is always a good option, it has character, it’s pretty, and let's be honest, the world could use another Y/N Winchester.”

“We don’t need another traitor.” Adam answers with false hurt. 

“Ugh, stop being such a drama queen Adam, you know what? Your baby wants an Oreo McFlurry.” 

“Five minutes ago you were throwing up and now you want a McFlurry?” 

“Yes, so better get on the road because they are going to close, don't do this for me Adam, do it for your baby.”

“So now it’s my baby?” They both start bickering and you swear they already act like a married couple, eventually Jo wins the discussion, because being honest there is no better argument than “I am carrying your baby” so Adam says his goodbyes and leaves grudgingly.  You and Jo stay talking for hours, it’s almost 3 am when you hang up, and you fall asleep right after.

When you wake up you feel well rested and you feel like you slept for so long, the sun comes bright through the window and your whole body feels relaxed, which is weird because you went to sleep really late last night, which gets you thinking that you never heard your alarm.

Wait.

You take your phone and press the side button, but the screen doesn’t turn on. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You didn’t charge your phone, so the battery is dead which means that you are probably very late, you look up at the watch that’s on the wall, which indicates that it is already 12:15 in the morning, you are definitely very late. 

You jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom, no time for showering, you brush your teeth and get dressed with a pair of jeans, plain white t-shirt and sneakers, you tie your hair on a high ponytail, take your bag and run to the kitchen, you grab a banana and a bottle of water and run out of your house. 

You race on the road and make it to school on record time, at this time of the day it is barely impossible to find a parking space that is empty, when you manage to park it’s almost one, you mentally curse, get out of the car and run to the classroom, this promises to be a hell of a day. 

*****

Spencer has never liked this kind of conferences, they bring him back to his college years, which are not something he likes to think about, he didn’t have the standar university experience, most of the time he was made fun of, being the target of stupid pranks or being just ignored by his classmates, so yeah, college wasn’t something he remembered fondly.

He was on edge until yesterday, when he saw you on the lecture; he had already seen you on the football field being thrown into the air and then landing perfectly with a magazine worthy smile, of course he thought you were pretty, because you were one of the prettiest girls he had ever landed eyes on, but you were also most likely the type of girl that only cared about vain things and would have never noticed him if you had been one of his classmates; he was proved wrong during the lecture.

You weren’t only pretty, you were also smart, probably the smartest girl in that classroom, you were informed and you clearly cared about the topic, and when the lecture ended you went to him, when all the girls went with Morgan or Rossi, you decided to go with him; he was in such a rush he even had the bravery to give you his card.

And then the impossible happened, you called him, and not only that, you asked him out and he hasn’t felt this nervous in ages.

“Reid, Reid.” Morgan’s voice brings him back to the room, he and Rossi are looking at him with worry. “Everything alright pretty boy? You have been acting weirder than usual since yesterday.” 

“I am fine.” He answers almost automatically.

“Are you sure?” Rossi asks with an eyebrow raised. “We are worried about you kid.”

“Yeah.” He says. “Colleges just bring me to the edge.”

“Well, don’t worry about it pretty boy, we are just going to be here three more days and we are back to Quantico.”

“I know.” 

*****

The whole day you feel like you are running, you are late for class which gets you a reprimand from your teacher, which gets you late to your next class, which ends up getting you late to cheerleading practice. Your coach is so mad she has you running suicides and practicing toe touches until your legs feel like jello. 

“Point your toes Winchester! And smile, you have to sell it!”  She screams at you, everytime you jump you feel your muscles pull and your empty stomach hurls, you are almost sure that if you keep jumping you might throw up. 

When your coach finally lets you go it’s already 4:20, you mentally do the math, if you go to the locker rooms and shower you will be in the coffee shop at almost five o’clock, and agent Reid is probably already waiting for you, so you just grab your bag and run to your car mentally cursing yourself for not charging your phone. 

****

Spencer manages to escape Morgan and Rossi, avoiding their questions and he makes it to the coffee shop you indicated by 3:45, minutes go by tortuously, he sees people coming in and out from the coffee with cups on their hands, he sees people laughing and students dragging their feet, the exhaustion of exams and projects reflecting clearly on them, he gets a lot of looks and he starts to grow desperate, he calls you over and over but the calls go straight to voicemail.

By 4:30 he decides you stood him up, this was most likely a prank, how did he not notice? He was a grown ass man, an FBI agent, he was a profiler and still he fell for it. He feels terrible, how could he believe such a beautiful woman would ask him out and actually show up? He takes his bag and gets up from the chair, when he is leaving he sees a car parking and a y/h/c haired girl wearing a Cardinals hoodie and grey yoga pants getting down and running to the coffee shop. 

It was you, you didn’t stand him up, you were actually there, he can barely hold his emotion. 

“Doctor Reid.” You say, your forehead is covered in sweat and your chest is going up and down rapidly. “I am so, so, so, sorry, did I make you wait too long? I’m sorry, my phone died, and my alarm never went off, and I’ve been late everywhere, and my practice lasted too long, and i didn’t have your card so I couldn’t call you from another phone, and I came here right out of my training, so I must smell like a monster and I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t wait for long.” He lies, and you smile at him, and he can swear it is the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. “Should we order?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” You lead the way and stop at the bar. “Hey Lindsey.”

The redhead barista smiles at you and then you look at him and he notices how your y/e/c sparkle with the white lights of the coffee shop. 

“What do you want?” You ask.

“You said something about peach lattes?”

“Peach-lavender lattes, it sounds weird but they are great.” You reply, and by this point he’s sure he would believe if you said the moon was made of tofu. 

“I’ll have one.”

“Great, two large peach-lavender lattes and a bagel please, can I also borrow your charger?” Lindsay marks your order on the cash register and tells you the total, when Spencer takes out his wallet you stop him. “No, I said I was buying.”

“No, I insist.” 

“Doctor Reid, put your wallet down, I was terribly late and I said I was buying, you can pay the next time.” The fact that you imply that there might be a next time makes his heart flutter. 

“Alright.” He agrees, when you get your orders you sit on the table he was waiting on and there’s a moment of awkward silence he is not sure how to break. “So, so you said you had questions?”

“Yes, I do.” You take a sip from your coffee and then look at him, he is expecting questions about the FBI, but that’s not where you go. “You have three PhDs, three BAs and you are only thirty-four, how is that even possible? Are you like a genius?”

“I, I don’t believe intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.” You stare at him with your eyes wide open and a smile on your lips. “...yes, I’m a genius.”

“That’s… wow.” The conversation flows after that, he talks about some of the most interesting cases he has had, you intervene every now and then making questions or comments that always seem to go to the correct point, and he feels like he can speak freely with you.

“Well, the vast majority of unsubs with a similar MO aren’t driven by the killing, they are merely fascinated by the body parts, it’s like they psychologically exist in a realm where fantasy meets delusion, it’s basically like the blueprint to create the perfect serial killer… I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“It’s okay, it’s fascinating, please go on.” You are one of the only persons he has ever met that reacts that way, most of the time he gets interrupted, he is about to start again when your phone rings, you take a look at the screen and then say. “Sorry I have to take this, it will be just a sec.”

He smiles and nods and you slide to answer. 

“What is the point of having an expensive phone if you never answer? Do you know how worried I was?”

“Hi Dean.” You reply, internally laughing at the overprotectiveness of your brother. 

“Don’t “hi Dean” me, where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering your texts?”

“I’m in a coffee shop, and my phone died last night and I couldn’t charge it until now.” 

“Who are you with?”

“I’m with a… friend.”

“Friend? Are you out with a boy? Who is he? Let me talk to him.”

“Stop being so jealous Dean.” 

“So you are with a boy.”

“I’m sorry I have to go, love you, bye.” You say and you don’t even give him time to protest before you hang up. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” He must have guessed you wouldn’t be single, he feels jealousy invading him, and he fiddled with his empty cup. “Was that your boyfriend?”

“Gross, no.” There’s a wave of relief when you answer that, and he probably shouldn’t feel it, he’s leaving in a few days, it’s not like there’s the possibility of a relationship. “It was my brother, he can get all Mama Bear when he is worried.”

“Oh, is he your only brother?”

“No, I have three, Dean, Sam and Adam, I am the youngest, like by far, Dean is 19 years older, Sam is 15 years older and Adam beats me by 8 years.”

“That’s a big difference.”

“Yeah, Dean and Sam are my half-brothers, from dad’s first marriage, their mother died when they were very young and dad took it very hard and started to move them around the country, that’s how he met my mom, he went to Minnesota they had a one night stand and she got pregnant, but she didn’t tell him about Adam until he was like six, then he went back to Windom, they fell in love, dad moved them to Kansas, he married my mom and then they had me, hence the age gap.” You explain. “What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“No, I’m an only child, I grew up with Doctor Who and Star Trek as my companions.”

“Doctor Who?”

“Yeah, it’s, it’s good.”

“I know, I’m not gonna act like I didn’t mourn for a week when Ten left Rose on the beach.”

“You like it?”

“I may look like your stereotype cheerleader, but I’m a huge geek, Dean and his best friend Charlie made sure of that.”

The conversation flows as freely as water after that, for some reason you find it easy to talk to him, you tell him so many things you haven’t even told Jo, you talk about everything, favorite holidays; yours is Christmas, his is Halloween; tv shows, characters. You delite with his rambling and pay attention to every word he says, when you finally realize it, the sky has turned dark and you are the last people in the coffee shop.

“I think we should probably let them close.” 

“Yeah, we should.” You both take your bags and stand up. “Hey, when are you leaving town?”

“On friday.”

“Let me make you dinner, I make a killer lasagna.” You look at him expecting an answer but he can barely say anything, he just had an amazing evening with a gorgeous girl who is now inviting him to her house, he should probably pinch himself to make sure he is not dreaming. “Spencer?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“It’s a date then.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x winchester!reader #reid x reader #reid x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #winchester x reader #winchester!sister #winchester!reader #all or nothing