#and when I was at the absolute lowest point of my school years I literally wanted to kms whenever someone promise me a life of misery ahead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noxx-33i · 2 months

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Hello I have come to word vomit RGB trio thoughts and headcanons. Beware some of these will probably be nonsensical and not in order.

I think skate has the worst fashion taste out of the three. I can't say much on this though cause I also have an atrocious sense of fashion/lh

Boombox and to an extent Skate talk in 80's slang. Like radical, bodacious, hella, etc. 80's coded boombox just lives in my head rent free and i can't kick him out/silly

Their alcohol tolerance from lowest to highest goes: Skate, BB, Sling

BB and Skate crash at Slingshot's place ALL the time. At this point even Shuri and Vine are used to them just random showing up

^^continuing this I think they like to enter through anywhere but the window. Most especially Skate. BB at the very least is willing to act like a Normal person and use the door SOMETIMES. Skate however if he uses the door you'll bet that he's going in on his board. Whether or not he immediately crashes and breaks something inside is another thing/lh

Sometimes they'll just have Katy Perry Sessions with Shuriken. Like literally just listening to Katy Parry. Don't. Don't ask why I don't know either/lh

^^they have California Gurlz memorized.

If one of them does a crime none of them are snitching. If one goes down they all go down if one admits to it the other two will admit to it too. No bro left behind/silly

Sling is the smartest academically in their group and is probably the best at math. Not saying he's a prodigy im just saying BB and Skate are probably dumb as shit with math /lh+aaff

Sometimes Skate likes to record his Sick Moves™ and sometimes it would Also be in a place he proooobably shouldnt be in so Sling and BB take turns being on either camera duty or watch duty. Whether either of them are good at it is a different discussion/silly

Skate was caught stealing by the police once but BB was there and somehow he managed to trick them into believing he was Skate's lawyer and that he did not steal anything. Sling watched from the distant absolutely flabbergasted

Sling prices his menu very high and whenever someone asks he's just like "Oh yk, inflation!" and somehow it always works

they like setting fireworks off at night. Sometimes BB can't come cause he's too tired from work or something tho so

Despite Slingshot being the most academically smart in the group Boombox is the one who would hesitate when given a big shiny red button that could nuke Crossroads. Sling and Skate would see a shiny red button and go "ooo shiny" then BOOM!!!! /silly

idk if you want this but I have an au with my friend using the skins ingame (and some we made up for it hehe) where Snowboard and Rainbox were highschool best friends and they would get into shenanigans together like light theft (Rain is the distraction), parties maybe, etc andddd I love them very much

Snow in the au has canonically tried to rizz up a girl (in High School) only to bag her boyfriend AND her brother

^^The au takes place years later when Snowboard is in college (in Blackrock college cause there's no faction wars in this au) and when he comes back he finally meets Cozyshot who is Rain's roommate and erm my friend likes skateshot so I think you can tell what happens next (GAY PEOPLE) /silly

Okay im gonna stop rmabling now have a good day silly muah/p

IM GONNA RAMBLE TOO AND Oh my god ur so right on the first one.

SKATE HAS TERRIBLE FASHION SENse. I can smell it. Hes so sweaty he doesnt care ab his looks too much but bb would say "youre not going out like that

YES I AGREE. Boombox is stuck in the 80s and he doesnt want to leave. Im actually picking up these habits i wanna say rad so bad.

Skate being the lowest is the funniest shit wver bc i love bullying his ass. Did you tell i put NO EFFORT in his stupid hc reveal HEELP

I FEEL LIKE ONE DAY THEY MIGHT GET A SECRET HANGOUT PLACE… like fully furinisjed and with ac and all that fancy shit. How? Idk illegally? They probably have board games and dnd sessions with trusted friends who keep the place a hush

Bro theyre not normal they will never be normal… "GUYS HOW DID YOU GET IN" // "We lock picked your door" // "WHAT THE FUCK"

> lowkey skate would learn lock picking for fun and hed get so good at it he would be tempted to steal more stuff

>> that being said.. rob the bank?/ref

LOWKEY i feel like bb was a nerd in his younger years but grew out of it… he would probably like science facts and everyone thinks hes smart but hes not.. AND YES sling being math smart is so real teehee. Hes the expenses guy but also cant stop himself from spending more than he needs to

Skate n BB would get into so much trouble but no one can ever find them guilty in some fucking way and it makes the authorities so mad

Ironically id like to think Zuka easily catches them doing dumb shit but he doesnt care enough to report it

Sling has probably done tax evasion one or two times.. or more….

Ok cute hcs to vomit out… with ur mention of tired boombox i feel like sling and skate would immediately go to bbs place and crash not in a chaotic way but like ogghd.. ÖIKE THEY MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER BY GIVING SNACKS OR MASSAGES TO HELP HIM LOSE STRESS

Literally any time one of the RGB members get their vibes off its instantly to care land bc bcbc bc 😞😞🙁🙁😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 *sobbing crying throwing up* theyr besties 😭😭 this xan be both platonic or romantic i legit do not care i love BOTH

With that in mind i feel like whenever skate and bb crash over sling would have a few of their favorite pastries from his cafe saved in his fridge… like dog treats LMAOO

This is likge.. dog-cat-dog relationship… but all are chaotic as fuck /silly

YOUR AU SOUNDS SO SILLY PLEASE I WANT TO SEE!!!! I WANNA DRAW EVEN.

that au makes me think of sling with glasses for some reason… i need to draw so bad….!!!!;!2!

And they were roommates /ref+j

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cheese-anon-real · 5 months

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New Year's Cheese

2023 has been one wild ride of a year for me Writer content in the latter half of this, below the cut!! do be warned! So. In 2023 I went from Cheese the Anon Asker to Cheese-Anon-Real. I’ve formed what I like to consider my little family, with the Sparda Boys and my fellow anons! Gods below I am so grateful for all of you, you made the last like, 3-4 months of the year so much better. Got sent to Space Jail twice, broke out twice with help Found Kaz again!!! Already touched on the family, but just Met Dante, Nero, and Vergil, absolutely love them to bits(Please be alive over there, Vergil, and not split in 2. Urizen’s cool and all but good god I wanted to shadow your devil hunting so bad when I got free) and Griffon I miss you come back you dumbass ball of feathers where’d you GO- Azuree may not be an anon but gods below, do I love them!! They’re such a sweetie like wth Joker, Fresa, Queen and her daughter Kaylee, and Candy have won my hearts, as my funny little family. You’re all being adopted by me now, face your future hell with me. UwU or smth idfk Am I an UwU-ass bitch or an OwO-ass bitch? Partner says it depends lolol. On what? Who knows. I love them so much too, they’re my world. I’ve had a lot of fun meeting you all, and I hope to hell and back that we keep up these silly little interactions over the next year. I know it hasn’t been perfect, but here’s to a good ‘24 for us all! Thank you for literally existing. I hope the other anons join the official family soon. Happy New Year, @pizzalover8969, @thebestsonofsparda, @thebluerose, @the-thunder-chicken, @azureedoodles, @anonjoker, @bizcochodefresa, @anonymousqueenofrandom, @princessanonofrandom, @therealcandyanon, and finally, @reece-piece-puff

sorry if the @'s is a bad move or I like, piss some of you off with it ;;

Love, Cheese(Roseanna)

P.S. I promise I'll get on writing my lore soon, I just haven't had much time :')

Reminder; Writer Content is Below The Cut. Beware!!!

2023 was even wilder for me than it was for Cheese lmfao.

I finally got into DMC this year, after being drawn in by Gura and the OST in summer of ‘21. On a family vacation, at that! Finally played 5, beat it, beat it again as Vergil. Played 3, beat it with some help from my partner. Started a Vergil run of 3, and started 1, never finished either, because life kinda got crazy Started playing C.O.D??? Somehow?? Never thought I’d play a C.O.D. game but here I am and I like the campaign for the MW2 remake, I suck ass at it but that’s a me problem lmao Got into therapy, finally, actually working on my problems now and really happy about it Went through several Vtuber avatar designs, finally settled on one I like and I’m almost done with it!!! Just gotta struggle through the hair, hand toggles, and the face! Wow!! Went through endless self-discovery, thought I might be trans(I am in fact not trans, I am Fluid! As far as I know. Still working on that. And other things, but one step at a time!! FINALLY reunited with my two best friends. In person. In another state. One of em, I've known since we were 11 and they moved away when we were 13. I had never hung out with them outside of school, and they introduced me to my other best friend, who came up to my state to meet me in late spring of ‘21, hadn’t seen them since. That friend actually paid for the trip themself, because I went through a god-awful breakdown for a solid 2 weeks and tried to. Isolate myself from everyone I love. But thankfully they talked me out of it and got me back into the group, got me going again when I was at probably my second lowest point since I was a preteen. Got oddly close with another friend while I was there, met the majority of my friend group, and now that friend I got close with is EASILY my third best friend! Not third-best, they are also a best friend and I love them so much?? We hyperfixate on like, all the same things. Dragged them into loving Ghost(band) and they’re dragging me into Scott Pilgrim! Woohoo, here we go! Left my friend group like a month ago because one of them is uh. Not. the best? But only sometimes. They don’t have bad intentions and they’re not outright toxic I don’t think, but I uh. Got kinda sick of their sense of humor. Not always funny, kinda mean to a certain other member. Not always though. But like we can work on it when I go back its fiiiiiiine! Learned communication to a degree, holy shit I hate talking about my problems, oh my god please I don’t need help I’m just a burden anyway(I’m working on it, don’t come at me with support I’ll get there with my family and friends eventually. Not attention-seeking here, I’m building my support group as I go.) Had 13 house emergencies!!!! Will list them! Woo! 1 - water heater leak 2 - gas leak 3 - roof leak again(we had a roof leak in ‘22) 4 - house flood 2 electric boogaloo(house flooded like a week after my partner moved in, in ‘22, before I arrived) 5 - flood 3 6 - roof leak 3 7 - roof leak 4 8 - heater died 9 - bathroom door handle fell off the door for literally no reason 10 - house flood 4 11 - roof leak 5 12 - house flood 5 House Flood 5 caused us to get renovations in the organized housing, and after that, they just straight up moved us to a new house. We had 8 fffffffucking days to get the hell out of our house and into the new one. Like, they actually put the time constraint on us. So funny of them! AND THEN THE NEW ONE DIDN’T HAVE SHUT-OFF VALVES FOR EITHER OF THE HOSE SPIGOTS AND WE HAD TO GET THAT HANDLED BUT THEY DIDN’T HANDLE IT. HELP. BROTHER WE ARE TRYING TO FOLLOW THE RULES. WHY ARE YOU FORBIDDING US. so. 13 - no shut off-valves(technically an ‘emergency’ bc the pipes could freeze and then burst) Got summoned for Jury Duty in my parents’ state! IN THE TIME WHERE WE WEREN’T CERTAIN WHEN THE CONTRACTORS WERE COMING. OR IF WE WOULD BE IN THE SAME HOUSE NEXT WEEK. JESUS CHRIST. But, did also get to go on another family vacation. We got to watch the Perseids! I saw a possum there. Literally loved that so much.

Also got SUUUUPER into Ghost(band) in the last like 3 weeks and I'm head over heels for 99% of their songs that I've listened to?? Hell yeah.

It’s been an intense year of ups and downs, but I’m really determined to turn my life around for the better, now. I’m gonna put my all into actually improving my health, both physical and mental/emotional. I didn’t want that to be like, a new year resolution, it just kinda lined up with the new year.

#cheese #Happy New Year #Spardanon Family #I love you all so much #thank you for everything these last few months #here's to our continued adventures!#very anxious about actually hitting the post button on this one #don't know why i'm so scared to #either way happy new year i love you all a lot #really hoping no one gets annoyed by being @'d :')

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skinnybitxhhh · 2 years

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+*doing this all at once bc I can't sleep*+

Just gonna complete this here and now because I've got fuck all better to do

I don't really know what constitutes 'stats' because there's a lot of crossovers with the other questions by my definition, but anyways. I'm 125lbs at the moment, my highest I weighed was around 140lbs and the lowest weight I've ever been was 118lbs back in March.

I'm 5"4 which is 163cm. I don't really like my height, it doesn't suit me, I feel like I should either be super tall or super short.

Don't really have a favourite thinspo, I just mindlessly browse.

I don't really have any fears about weight loss. I used to worry about the infertility that could come with it but I've grown to despise children.

I want to lose weight because I'm ugly as fuck and may as well be skinny.

I go through phases, typically over the span of about a month, though I haven't really properly relapsed with the restriction recently; I lose my appetite for about a week so I eat a lot less, I have a normal appetite for about 2 weeks, then I binge for about a week. Idk why I binge.

My mother knows that I restrict because my school councillor told her, but I think she thinks its just another method of self harm for me. She hates when I try to lose weight, because the rest of my family are very obese so they think I'm already very thin.

Don't have a workout routine, if I'm looking to burn some easy calories I either do bed workouts, apartment friendly HIIT workouts or I skip; it literally burns like 200 calories if you skip at a decent rate for 15 minutes it's insane.

Shockingly not, I've only ever had positive comments about my body, because my weight is distributed mainly to my ass and boobs, but I still hate it.

The hardest thing I'm giving up is definitely yoghurt and granola.

Don't have one.

I used to go flat out starvation to lose weight, but right now I'm eating around 1000 calories and exercising, mainly because I have to eat breakfast and dinner or else my mother will catch onto my relapse.

It's not very healthy but it's not too extreme, I high res usually because people don't tend to notice.

I use l o s e r t o w n to calculate how long my weight loss should take on average. My UGW at the moment is 108lbs, and so I should reach that in around 2 months, give or take.

I was vegetarian for about a year when I was 13/14, and my weight absolutely skyrocketed, so I completely refuse to go vegetarian or vegan again.

When I was 11 and found out that 'if you have an eating disorder, you become skinny', and so I was determined to give myself an eating disorder, so I would be super skinny and everyone would like me. Halfway there, 11 year old me.

I strongly believe that eating disorders are one of the only psychiatric disorders that can be accurately self diagnosed. CAMHS has been literally no help to me at all, have given me no support or evaluation besides a single phone call 6 months ago, so I'm taking it into my own hands, as it gets to a certain point where I'm doing everything in the book to try and lose weight, there's something wrong.

Scotch eggs. Such a random food but they trigger binges every single time I eat them, but they're so incredibly tasty.

10th August, my birthday. Before then, the last time I ate fast food was a year before on my birthday.

I don't follow diets often currently, but previously my go-to diet was the OMAD diet. I was doing it unintentionally periodically for about a year before I found out it was an actual thing.

UK sizing now, my jeans are a size 10/12, I don't know my shirt sizing because I wear baggy jumpers usually but I think I'm an S/XS in shirts?

Lowest weight was 118lbs, I gained it back because I was absolutely ravenous and couldn't be fucked continuing with the E.D shit because I had to prep for my GCSE's. Education isn't compulsory for me anymore at A-level though so I'm not really bothered if my eating affects my grades, as I can just drop out and start again next year or learn a trade.

Yes, it influences most people with e.d's I think even subconciously, hence the prevalence of eating disorders has risen insanely as the media expands.

Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia honestly get a bad rep; it's mainly just people who are pro-ana/mia for themselves, as a solid 99% of people I see aren't encouraging people who want to recover, or don't actively already have e.d's.

Yes, it was awful. I can purge decently well now but I almost always avoid it and just overexercise and restrict because it absolutely murders my throat

Just being skinnier. Not even people noticing, just feeling a bit more confident in my own skin.

I don't. If I'm fasting, I avoid food at all costs. If I have to eat, I will eat, and then exercise like fuck later on.

Kinda; I don't really want toothpick legs, but I hate the amount of fat that I hold on my thighs.

It sounds mad considering I have an eating disorder, but I really struggle to categorise people by their attractiveness. Even romantically, I used to date people who I found funny and interesting as opposed someone who was super conventionally attractive. My definition of beauty is literally everyone other than me.

10 facts about me:

I study law, criminology, psychology and english literature

I love reading a lot

I overthink and overanalyse things

I clean a lot when I get stressed, as it keeps me occupied.

I can play guitar pretty ok, I'm decently musically talented

I enjoy watching south park, the walking dead and documentaries.

I own far too many blankets; the cost of living crisis will not affect my warmth.

The concept of becoming an adult and needing to do adult things like filling out forms or speaking to people makes me extremely anxious, even more so now as I'm nearing adulthood.

I have 5 pet cats :)

I have been told that I'm extremely boring, and have the personality of an old person. They're not lying though, I love knitting, baking, doing sudoku's, watching documentaries and sitting indoors.

You're welcome, I'm sure that reading through this entire post was absolutely riveting, enthralling, a life changing experience.

#pro@na #tw ana diary #ana trigger #ed diet #low cal restriction #sk1nnie #ana rules #pro a4a #an0rexic #th1n$po #tw ana thoughts

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beetlebrownleaf · 2 years

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I’ve done something pretty damn crazy and I feel like I’m insane but. I did it

I finally let go of what my family thinks of me.

no you don’t understand, this has been one of the most powerful holds on me since the day I was born.

but I’m done.

I’m done waiting for the approval I will never, ever get.

I have been at my lowest point for this past month - my children were nearly wrongfully taken from me. This is my worst fear, the actual stuff of my deepest nightmares made manifest. I was inconsolable, having panic attacks, I was sick, I lost ten pounds from simply not eating, and I was excusing myself to the closet several times a day to get out my wailing sobs into a pillow so I wouldn’t worry the kids.

The good news is, we have been cleared of any wrongdoings. Because we do not hurt our children. My husband have never harmed my children and I have never allowed him to. We love our children and would never, ever harm them. Ever. Point blank.

My in laws have been incredibly helpful and supportive during this time. They helped me clean my house, they helped me do laundry and dishes when I was literally too sick and depressed and traumatized to do anything except feed and bathe the kids. They showed me who they have always been: kind, accepting, and compassionate people who stand up for their family.

My parents, however? Have used this time to kick me while I was down. My father told me my household was “not fully functional” for reasons that had absolutely nothing to with anything. He told me it was “shameful” that my toddler was not yet potty trained (despite the fact that we have been working on it for quite some time - and are going at exactly the same pace as it did for our other children)

My mother told me this situation was my fault because I would not take my oldest to speech therapy - something she has wrongfully tried to pressure me into since he was just one year old. To be clear, we had him evaluated (TWICE!), and they said he was fine. She also told me my decision to homeschool for the next year, until we can get him into a charter school OR a public school in the town we plan to move into by hopefully 2024, was “wrong” and “selfish”. When I attempted to defend myself, I was told: “everything you do is for you and [my husband], and you and [my husband] only. everything we [she and my father] do is for our grandkids”.

My father echoed that in the group text in which I informed my family we had finally been cleared, “Please remember to think in terms of what’s best for them [my children]”.

And to top it all off? My mother proselytized to my husband... in his BIRTHDAY CARD.

These people are not my advocates. These people are my bullies. They are my abusers. I grew up being attacked, belittled, humiliated, demeaned, hurt, and beaten. These people gave me C-PTSD, ignored my ADHD and autism signs, shamed my depression and anxiety, (unknowingly, since I am closeted) shamed my sexuality, and beat me with whatever object was nearby. It is by my own benevolence that I have even allowed them to speak to me. But no more.

Dear [my husband],

Happiest of birthdays to you. It has been a hard few weeks, but God I looking out for you. I pray daily for your return to seek Him again and lead for family to Christ.

No more.

I will not wait around for them to approve of me. They never will. They will never approve of me, a bisexual, polyamorous, nonbinary woman, a queer person, a lover and writer of subject matter that they deem “sinful” and “perverse”.

These people are not my advocates.

And I’m letting them go.

#abuse cw #(I'm fine it's past abuse)#it's long lol #beetle.txt

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isnotonfiregaby · 3 months

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Where Have I Been?

Hi anyone who is willing to read this. I know I’ve disappeared for a long time. These past few years I’ve been through a lot and I’ve been trying to recover since. I’m happy to say that for the most part, I have recovered.

To start, I left my job where I met all my friends. This was back at the end of 2020 of course. I worked somewhere that I felt for the first time in my life I actually fit in. Everyone was weird and crazy and positive and I was never afraid to be myself. I had to leave this job due to differences between me and management, and I don’t regret my decision at all. But i wasn’t prepared to lose a lot of those friends and go back to being misunderstood all over again.

During my time at this job, I accidentally developed an eating disorder. It sounds strange because it seems like something i’d do on purpose, but it was honestly an accident. (TW- ED) I just started eating less as I was working more. I got too busy, i would hang out with my friends so much since i lived so close, that i would just not eat in order to spend time with them. We would get some food at taco bell or addy’s or whatever if i was really hungry but honestly i was having too much fun to notice the hunger sometimes. Then i started losing weight. the more i lost, the less i wanted to eat. I’ve always been a bigger girl, but looking back i was only really bigger than my peers, and not actually a big person. But this always caused body image issues for me. although i wasn’t big, i was always bigger than my friends, i could never share their clothes and i always had a double chin. Since this was always the position i was in, losing weight was the only thing that mattered to me. I have thousands of pictures of my body at that time and I looked amazing. But the problem is, when you’ve always been “big”, that’s the only thing you see yourself as. I would cry for hours, calling myself ugly and fat and the worst words. And it makes me so sad that i could never be happy with my body even at my lowest weight. I’m not proud at all of that time in my life, but now I realize I can never be happy with a skinny body if i’m not happy with the body I have. Weight and looks should have never mattered to me but nonetheless, even now i struggle with body image issues.

I began working at a new job, and started gaining a small amount of weight back, and this sent me into a spiral. I only bought clothes that were triple my size, only wore baggy jeans and the biggest longsleeves i could find. even in the summer, this is the only thing i’d wear. Of course, when i was at home i would wear shorts and usually a baggy t shirt since i didn’t worry about anyone seeing me.

One summer day, i went out to grab a few groceries. i was wearing workout shorts and my absolute favorite star wars t shirt. i was walking towards my car when i felt someone behind me and I got assaulted. This assault wasn’t horrible, and i wasn’t hurt, but it still caused an immense amount of anxiety and fear. I filed my police report and from then on, i never left the house alone. i barely liked going to work. I started to redevelop agoraphobia that i’d previously had in high school, but this time it was BAD.

It got to the point where I could no longer leave my house. I could barely get up out of bed. I became non-verbal for a few weeks and was inconsolable. I was on multiple anti anxiety medications and went to see multiple doctors because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. but I just developed a debilitating disorder. I stopped talking to my friends, because i literally could not talk to them while i was going through this period. I never thought i could get better. My anxiety was absolutely through the roof. and i did not know what to do anymore.

Eventually it settled down to a point where i could talk again, shower again, get out of bed again, and slowly i went out. I would go get taco bell with my brothers, and they supported me so much through this process. Luis used to stay up with me all night watching dumb movies and anime just to help me deal with the pain i was going through. he bought us matching jerseys for a gaming team i liked. he stood by my side so much during this time and im so grateful to have a brother like him in my life.

After i healed a bit more, me and isaak started talking and dating and he definitely went though hell dealing with me at this point in time. I was not great to be around, i was constantly anxious and he was one of the only safe people for me. I only really left the house if it was with him. I don’t think he ever realized this but he played a massive role in me getting better and i don’t think i can ever repay him for this.

Also during this time, I got my nexplanon birth control removed as it was also contributing to my anxiety. This is an incredibly important piece of information.

I slowly started gaining more weight. I was constantly hungry and always craving sweets. i had this hunger that could never be satisfied and i would sometimes just binge food with no control and honesty no recollection. currently, i am at the highest weight i’ve ever been in my life and it has been a massive struggle for me mentally and physically. I started going to the doctors for this, trying to figure out what is causing my cravings and causing so much weight gain. I can proudly say I haven’t gained any weight in months, but i also wasn’t losing weight at all. no matter what diet i was in, how low the calories going in were, i could not lose weight at all. After running some tests, i got diagnosed with PCOS. This is the root for my weight gain, the cravings i constantly had, the massive sweet tooth, the reason I could not lose any weight. I finally got my answer just a few weeks ago and have since then gone back on birth control to manage my symptoms and to hopefully be productive in losing weight.

Here is the light at the end of the tunnel:

After dating Isaak, I got a job. It was my first full time job and i was so worried about it, but it was in an office and i needed to push myself to leave the house. I finally had an income again, was able to pay my bills without worrying anymore. And the more i left the house, the better I felt. I was going to a therapist and she gave me the most amazing advice that is probably the only reason I was able to push myself. she gave me the tough love i needed and gave me the confidence i needed to be happy again. At this job, i also got the best boss I could’ve asked for. he’s also the tough love type, but he honestly has shown me that i was severely mistreated by past employers, and has set a new bar for how employers should be treating their employees. I have met amazing people, and have gained a whole new set of skills. I don’t think i’ve been able to be completely myself yet; I have gained a nervous stutter, I’ve lost the spark i used to have, and I have a long way to go before I can truly feel like myself again. But I am so proud of how far i’ve come, because I cannot stress enough how bad it was for me for a while. But on the brighter side, me and Isaak got our own place together in Folsom and we got a kitty baby named Wallace who likes to terrorize us but i love him nonetheless. I love our little home and I am grateful to have such a quiet life with my boys.

There have been so many people who have contributed to my healing, people who were so understanding of what I was going through. And others who were not understanding, who i don’t blame because I was in a situation that most people never have to endure, so i understood where they came from. I harbor nothing in my heart but love for everyone who was around me during this time whether we are still in communication or not.

I just wanted to share a glimpse of my life, because I have felt so disconnected from everyone. If anyone has read through to this, thank you so much for hearing my story. It’s not something I talk about much but it is something that is so deeply engraved in my soul. I’m not ashamed for the person i was, and i have sympathy for the deeply damaged person I was during this time. I hope that getting this out into the world will help me heal further and help me find myself again.

I love u all, and thank u for reading <333

-g

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cascadianights · 4 months

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Me on a high dose of the only SSRI to ever help & a decade of counseling and coping skills: I am drowning. I cannot wash myself I cannot clean the house I cannot do the shopping I cannot find or hold a job I can't even get help because it takes me three months to schedule a simple doctor's appointment and the week's energy to show up. I want to go to school I want to see my friends I want to hold a job I want to not be trapped in my body I want to not have DEBILITATING mental illness on top of severe physical disability. Crying every appointment. Crying every counseling appointment. Please let me try ADHD medication I have tried a dozen SSRIs and anxiety PRNs with no aid

My doctors: Absolutely not. Nope. Are you drug seeking or trying to lose weight? Raise your antidepressants. Come back in a month. Offer more antidepressants. Come back in another month to talk to someone else. Offer ANTIPSYCHOTICS used off label for depression. Finally reluctantly put me on a non-stimulant lowest dose of ADHD medication when I Refused further treatment for my depression without treating the factors LEADING TO IT

Me on 2 weeks of the medication: 3 job interviews. Reapplying for school in a few months if those fall through. Scheduled doctor appointments in 3 locations for things I was supposed to get checked a year ago. Can stop intrusive thoughts at the minute mark instead of 30 minute deep despair mark for the first time in 29 years, despite having BEEN USING every coping skill imaginable. Showed up to counseling, started the laundry, AND cooked breakfast today. Took a shower twice in one week for the first time in who knows how long. Making plans to see friends I haven't been able to see (literally just in town) for months. Feel calm at points for the first time in over a year.

Anyways don't fucking kill yourself unless you try adhd meds or HRT it's true it's true it's true lmao

#adhd #im autistic but w high adhd scores and the biggest issue stopping me being #executive dysfunction and ocd anxiety wildly uncontrolled despite every fucking tool and skill i try #turns out sometimes you can try something every day for 20 years and if your BRAIN DOESNT HAVE WHAT IT NEEDS #IT STILL WONT WORK

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perpetualoutkast · 1 year

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In my life, of what seems like mistake after mistake, I don’t know what I did to make a friend like you. Seeing everyone turn their backs on me, in my lowest point & darkest days. You kept your word & have stood beside me, even when I was going nuclear on a public stage. Your umbrella has been something, I’ve been caught inside, since the first time I laid eyes on you, all the way back in high school. Your cheerleading pin, has always hung on my wall. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve looked at it, just to put a smile on my face. Or, that it has lifted me out of a dark place.

Everyone might look at you & get caught in how absolutely beautiful you are. That’s a mistake, because then they don’t see the greatest gift you ever had. It was always your mind & intelligence that captivated me. I could sit there all day in Chemistry class & just get lost in you, as you worked away, to solve the problem.

You were my first muse I ever had, inspiring me to write poetry, about what you meant to me. I was so terrified handing that first one. I’ve never been able to hide my feelings about you, because I never wanted you not know you were something special. I remember I had wrestling meet early one Saturday & you had plans also. We missed that school dance, except you invited me over for pizza together in your basement watching a movie together.

I never second guess skipping out on senior prom, because I just couldn’t see you there dancing with another guy. Yet, I never once disrespected you or tried pushing myself onto you. You were the type of woman I always found myself dreaming of, but knew I never wanted lose you as a fiend in my life. So, I also walked a tight rope around you, making sure I never crossed any other line.

I’ve always enjoyed every moment we ever shared together. I enjoyed meeting your family & your momma has always been my favorite. Watch out though, can’t be disrespecting the roses, now. I think she might of enjoyed those more than you did when I gave them to you. I’ve never forgotten how she was so in awe of them.

There was so much I learned from you, on our late night phone conversations. I might as well of, just taken notes, cause you weren’t tree of knowledge. I learned new thing, you convinced to try things I didn’t want to & your favorite thing, has been a life crusade of mine to master. Hoping one day, I’d be able to show that to you personally.

Tina used to get on me, teasing the first two years of college. She could still see how I was still, all caught up over you. I can’t help it, my heart was yours. You were literally love at first sight. I remember asking someone when that happened. I just had to know who you were. It’s only grown over time, especially in my moments of trials & tribulations.

I’m so sorry I missed everything, I mean of all people, how the hell could I be so clueless. I hate myself so much, for being absent. You were missing your biggest fan, for so many years. I don’t know what it is about you, but girl I can’t ever quit you. It’s not fair & I feel bad about others. I have such a high level of love to a few in my life, but I have to be honest. You have always held my thrown & when I found you again. It was a wtf moment, it changed everything. I had no clue or idea, I’d ever see you again. Now, I just worry I never lose you again.

In that poem, do you remember that last line?

Please, don’t let me be just another paige, in your life story. It’s so hard to trust anyone & all I’ve wanted, was just a friend. You have shown me more, than I could ever have imagined or dreamed asking for.

You lifted me up & I want to spend the rest of my life, lifting you up even higher. Shattering all these glass ceilings, that have held not only women but minorities behind. My dreams were never fame, money & being a celebrity. Mine was having a family. Now, I just want to spend every day I have left, showing you, that you are the most amazing woman in the world & showing you what you mean to me & how special you truly are. You can’t even put it into words, the way I feel about you. There’s no limits or boundaries, which can contain my heart or my feelings in loving you.

I have one question, What took you so long? I tried to tell you all this, back when we were teenagers. Even after all the horrors that went through. I would do it over & over every single time, if in the end, I got to be with you.

I lost everything, but I found you again. That’s a price, I’m willing to pay. You are priceless, there’s no amount of money, I’d ever sell you away for. I can write & write about you forever.

Thank you,

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smokeybrandcompositions · 2 years

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Choosing Poorly

Pretty sure my brother is actually depressed. Mans i living in proper squalor. Like, i used to keep a dirty room, not even going to front, but it was mostly just clothes and clutter. This kid is sleeping in trash. Actual trash. It’s wild to see because I've never been this low. I am, by nature, a relatively melancholy dude. I am a card-carrying, nihilistic, misanthrope. Unabashedly unpleasant at times. That said, i absolutely love me some me. Of course i have my struggles, everyone does, but not to the extent that i would just “give up” like this dude apparently has. How can you be this unhappy and not do something about it? Ho can you just be content living so slovenly? You’d think if someone was this unhappy they’d do something to change their circumstances, to just try.

At my lowest, i never once thought of just not caring about myself. That’s just such an alien concept to me. Like, i earned this confidence. I had to endure actual abuse, for years. Emotional, physical, and mental. I got it from all sides. From my dad at home, from my peers in school; It was a vicious cycle of trauma. I took those hits but, eventually, i found my shine and i refuse to let that sh*t dim now. I did the work to deal with my sh*tty past. I found ways to forgive and to cope. I can’t say I'm good, i don’t thunk anyone is in this day and age, but i am functional and, more to the point, i am happy with Me. Seeing my brother in this situation doesn’t illicit concern or sympathy, he refuses to do the work, but it does make me wonder why? Why not look inward and fix what ails you? This sh8t, these choices, are yours and yours, alone. No one is forcing you to be depressed. No one is forcing you to live in literal trash. You can’t shift blame to someone else, when you are the one doing it to yourself.

So what is the endgame here? Sympathy? Empathy? Understanding? I can’t give him any of that because i don’t. I don’t sympathize. Kid is thirty-one years old and refuses to take responsibility for anything, including himself. I can’t empathize because i don’t have a personal barometer for this situation. I’ve never been depressed like this or, rather, never as an adult in control of my own life. It’s a sh*t thing to say but i need it to have happened to me, to actually empathize. I do. I don’t have the capacity to just “put myself in another shoes” like that. It’s a trauma reaction and one of the ways i learned to cope with all the abuse from when i was a kid. If i can’t sympathize or empathize, how can i possibly understand? This sh*t can be fixed. Dude just needs to talk to someone, open up honestly, and he just doesn’t. I can’t even begin to identify with that.

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Choosing Poorly

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kkusuka · 3 years

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(i had to repost lol- it wasn’t showing up on my page)

this the request: part 3 of thiccy gf hcs ??? with kuroo, terushima, sakusa, and daichi and/or atsumu 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 i must be fed

i understand your need for them

and as a member of the thunder-thigh committee, i am happy to write about my fellow sexy women! (another 4:56 am ramble i refuse to delete)

part one

part 2 <3

i mixed this with this ask ; Pt. 3 of the thicc af gf with Aone, Osamu, Kyotani, Daichi, Kuguri, and Terushima plz? 🥺

this got wayyyyyyyyy long

4, 685 words. my finger slipped?

Kuroo tetsuro

this guy has been trying to get you since first year

he’s that dedicated

and you didn’t even notice, he was just a flirty friend who helped you with science

(even when he would practically put you in his lap while he went over things)

lo and behold, he finally got his chance during the third year culture festival

yeah as in he waited a whole three years for this

Eh, once again, had a whole pan to make you see him as your great future husband, aka the haunted house (a good excuse to have you hold onto him)

He has to give it to class 2-4, the did a damn good job, it was scary

Long story short you fell on top of him, boobs in face hands-on ass

~heaven~

Mans actually asked you to be his girlfriend right there, groping you and murmuring between your boobs. (he wouldn't have gotten up if the next group wasn’t approaching.)

From then on he’d literally do anything for the ass

He’s a big simp and we all know it.

Like When you wear shorts he has to ‘pull them down’ aka feel you up while pulling the hem of your shorts down ever so slightly.

Or when he gets on a knee right behind you to ‘tie his shoe’, but the school shoes have no laces.

He could be a bit more creative and he wanted to look under your skirt.

When he wants to cut the bull shit he’ll just lift the back of your skirt and rub around for a but, to hell with all the other kids in the hallway.

(did I mention that he puts things on the highest shelves so he can walk up behind you and practically dry hump you.)

Speaking of simp nation

You can't really wear anything without setting him off

Shorts drive him absolutely nuts, it's insane. But it isn't his fault that most of your shorts are spandex that cut off right at the beginning of your thighs, it's like a homemade booty lifter. He just can’t help but wanting to cop a feel.

Or the color red in general. It is ridiculous, the guy rips everything when he tries to take it off too. So that stunning red cocktail dress with the lace-up sides was not unwearable, and you only had it on for like 2 hours. And that was only because it was a friend's 18th birthday party you were both invited to.

(thanks to kuroo not letting you out of his arms you both were late and left early.)

((in his defense you looked like a full course meal and it was giving him severe blue balls, and he’s only seen you for a few minutes))

Halloween, you know. the one night you could dress up as anything. any you decide to go as a cat-girl in a maid costume. And you expected him to just take that sitting down? Hell no. the red thigh highs AND the corset middle? You're lucky it lasted as long as it did.

That my dear was bravery. His color. A cat. And a short skirt. With thigh highs!

And so, he did what he did all those other times, dragged you to sit on his lap, and opening your thighs, and like a good girl you’ll let him

If you could already tell, he gives no shits to whos watching, let ‘em see (they really never do but you get the point)

He’s also a prime thigh groper, especially when he wants to keep your legs open, he also loves thigh hic

Terushima Yuji

Another shower-offer

You were already he's so why can't he let everyone know?

Speaking of you being his, he doesn't tell people how you guys don’t together, with good reason considering you practically beat him up

Not really but that’s what he calls it, basically he tried to get with one of your friends at a party.

She just happens to not be interested in men and has a wonderful girlfriend, so she was uncomfortable but couldn't tell him to leave her alone

So you took fate into your own hands, literally, you stole Fate from class 3-2’s drink and poured it on him before slapping him and telling him about how he was a pig.

And he fell in love, you looked like an angel, a really hot angel, it didn't help you were in a white dress either

And from then on he literally once or twice, got on his knees for you, asking to give him a chance.

Honestly, it got annoying, so you just agreed to make it go away. It did, but you also gained a perv of a boyfriend who has an insatiable love for your lower half

He’s a simple creature, do take caution of his fragile being

So that means all those times you bend over in front of him he was slowly cracking and trying to figure out where the nearest storage closet is.

He thought he was having heart palpitations when he saw you in the damn dress again, apparently, he didn't see all of it. Specifically the v-neck top, and the fact it only went to the end of your ass. Needless to say, he made sure to walk behind you on every staircase that you went on

Another set off is yoga legging, like the lululemon ones, that people wear all the time. They fit you great, really really great. They were supposed to work out in them???? Why were they so skin-tight????? And he also figured out that you wore things because of them. Instant nut.

How you ask, simple.

One time he saw your underwear line through the pants and he pointed them out, they did make it seem like your ass was super soft so he saw his chance and took it.

So the next time you wore them and he didn't see the lines he was like ??????

And thus began the “Yuji hunt for lineless underwear” and he found the thongs

And you received the fucking of your life soon after.

Oh! And there’s any time you go to the beach. Literally every time.

No cap.

The first time was when you wore a red one-piece and he practically went feral. It wasn't really a one-piece if it was see-through and had the lowest neckline on the planet.

Everyone was looking at you.

He practically fucked you on the beach but held off until you got back to the hotel room.

He’s way more forward when he wants to fuck, if you could imagine. He’ll just walk up to you and tell you he wants to get some, like right now.

If you can even ignore him, he’ll throw an arm around your waist and grope around your legs, all the way to the apex.

It is also not below him to try and get you off while still wearing underwear that he will be taking after.

(i didn't say anything about his stash off orgasm ruined underwear? My bad.)

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Going beyond the fact he even has a girlfriend, y’know considering, but the fact that no one knew who you were until you showed up at nationals to cheer him on

(atsumu was even starting to think that you didn't exist and that poor kiyoomi just imagined you up, so can imagine his shock when you ran up to said boy after they won)

The whole dating thing wasn't the shocking part; it was the fact that you looked like you walked off of the Milan runway.

And you were wearing leggings and sakusa's jacket, all of a sudden everyone was interested in how that happened

It was a kind of a boring story, someone had spilled coffee in a shop that you both happen to be in

And he watched you offer the man the same disinfectant wipes that he uses!

And in the most sakusa way possible he followed you out of the shop and tried to talk to you.

An exchange of numbers and many awkward conversations (and boners) later, you were a couple.

Back to that hug, like the many others, he's let you have, it’s all just to feel how soft you were

But poor touch -starved sakusa doesn't know what to do with any of these pent up feelings.

And he has a loooooooot of them.

Multiple occasions have shaped the poor germ-boy into the horny-tornado he has become

so he’s not really into what you’re wearing, it’s more about what you’re doing

like when you wore the mask he bought you to one of his games, and you wore one of his alternate uniforms, but the kicker was how you stayed away from everyone and didn’t let a single person near you (or his shirt)

or when you helped him clean his dorm when he was doing his weekly deep clean

or when the two of you washed the dishes while trying to do one of those “try not to sing” challenges

(is it normal to get a boner when your girlfriend helps you clean? no?)

but, as much as he tries to remain emotionless on the subject, there are multiple exceptions to the “it’s not what she wears” whole thing

Like that violet puffy skirt, you wore to a study fate, the one with the white sweater? That one, the same one that he could see your panties, from anywhere he sat. and Every time you got up you would have to smooth it down to make the creases go down, but it was only ever really giving him a good idea about the shape of your ass.

(if he sees you in that skirt again he’s just going to fuck you in it)

The lesser-known horny-inducer, since he made you take it off within the first five minutes, was a dress! What kind of dress? A neon yellow see-through mesh dress. The bottom wasn’t what got him though, it was the fact that your white bra was clearly seen under the mesh top. Or maybe it was the way the skirt made your waist look super small, and how your hips looked so round and squeezable.

Yeah, no one else could experience you in that.

Not to sound like this, but sakusa is still averse to touch

BUT BUT BUT

That goes out the window when he wants to dance the devil's tango with you.

Mr. His way or no way shows up, he does it every so slightly different

If it’s just the two of you, he’ll put a hand on your shoulder and he’ll push you to your knees. And he’ll pet your head and tell you what’s about to happen and advise you to listen like a good girl.

But in the instance you are in the presence of others, he’ll stand behind you and bring you super close to him, ass to dick. (maybe he’ll grind into you a bit, just to convince you to follow him) and he’ll throw a few words in about how much of a bitch in heat you are for getting turned on in front of all of these people.

It’s best to just do what he wants before he makes you cum in your underwear.

Daichi Sawamura

oh my

you guys are the power thigh couple

powerful and defined mixed with soft and pillowy

In Fact, that’s literally how the two of you met, thanks to Tanaka and Nishinoya of course.

(let’s just pretend karasuno has a cheer squad, and you just happened to be the captain of said team)

So basically you were doing a favor for the student council, and you were supposed to ask how many third years, managers included, were on each team and each club in the school

Easy! Turns out not so much. You were still in your cheer practice uniform, which was the shortest spandex ever made, and a Karasuno school t-shirt that was ever so slightly too tight.

Anyway, you make it to the gym and open the door, and the little one, Yachi, saw you and literally screamed. (she was right by the door), and that alerted everyone else in the gym, which led to the bald boy and his short companion pushing you further into the gym.

But in the better sense, it did gain the attention of the captain! Just the exact moment he was in front of you someone pushed; your back and within a second, in some miracle like way, you both ended up on the floor and he ended up planked on top of you with a leg between your spread thighs.

Almost kissing nonetheless.

Then, like the gentleman he was, he got off and asked you if you alright and kneeled down and let you use his shoulder to try and stand back up.

You did get up, for a split second, Daichi still kneeling letting you use him as a step stool when a certain red-head was flung right into you and you went toppling forward.

Onto Daichi.

Onto Daichi's face.

Your thighs around his head.

His hands-on your ass.

Hand in his hair.

He could sit there forever, you were frozen, everyone else was frozen.

You eventually climbed off and asked how many third years there were. But he just sat there, his hands hadn’t moved either, luckily Suga answered and you were on your way.

And Daichi still didn’t move, after that incident, you had begun to see him everywhere, and eventually, he just cut the shit and asked you out.

Daddy Daichi likes seeing you in literally anything from sweatshirts to lingerie.

His favorite was the brown buttoned pencil skirt and the white blouse, that you wore to a date. You were kind of overdressed for the ramen shop and after a walk, but he didn't even care. He was so thrown off by how turned on he was he couldn't speak in full sentences.

An example:

“Yeah, the food here is- boob, I-I mean great, not boob, great, yes, great.”

The second.

Was a bathrobe.

Can you see where I'm going with that? Simply you look hot.

His favorite part of the night was ripping it off of you.

And like the first time you met, he had his head in your thighs <3

Atsumu Miya

You met poor atsumu at a party.

He tried to shoot his shot, y’know he sees a cute lady he’s just gotta try and show you what you could be getting

he had it all planned, he was going to walk up behind you and run his hands over your delicious curves and ask you if you were in need of any help

he doesn’t take into account that a having a random guy just start groping you and pressing himself behind a girl was panic-inducing

so when he dropped your waist, you freaked out and may or may not have punched him in the dick

while he was in a. world of pain you age to figure out what the hell had just happened to you

then you noticed him on the floor, and when he noticed you looking at him he put this forced cocky smirk on and gave you a “how you doing”

You took pity on the poor creature and helped him up and got him some ice, then conversed with him for the majority of the rest of the night.

And he just hasn't left you alone since

(and, you learned this far later, that he went so far to tell Sakusa and Kageyama all about you and how amazing you are, and has even sent them- more than one- picture

But in other news, he’s very horny

So really all that means is he always has his hands on you

Like during practice breaks when you're allowed to come down and talk to him for a bit, give him some things, but it normally just consists of him sitting on the bench and you standing in front of him.

While his hands rest on your hips and his face is shoved into the valley between your breasts, and he just sits and listens to you as you brush a hand through his hair.

Or sometimes, if he had been having a rough time, he’ll just have his hands under your skirt and he’ll feel around for a bit while grumbling about how people cant hit his sets

But for being the possessive bastard he is, he sure likes letting you wear all those outfits

Like the booty shorts and tank top, you wore to bring them food during the summer training camp. That same camp that the two of you disappeared at and he came back looking like he had won the lottery.

Or the cute little red dress you wore to your anniversary date? The one that made him have a hard-on the entire time you were at dinner. He knows the waiter remembers, he also bets the waiter remembers seeing him fucking you in the car when his shift was over.

And that time you wore his jersey to bed and sent him a picture of it. It was such a good picture that he made it his lock screen for everyone to see.

He just likes looking at you tbh.

Aone Takanobu

you guys didn’t meet in some weird perverted way, it was actually really cute!

Not to sound creepy but he knew that you were in the garden club because you sat right in front of him in class

And since he didn't talk to anyone else in that class he was just content with listening, and so there he was

Standing outside of the garden club door holding his withering basil plant. Lost.

Lucky for him you were walking down the hallway and greeted him, looking all pretty and cute

You did help him realize that he was overwatering the basil and within a few weeks, it was back to life!

From that first time on, he came to the club room with you twice a week and walked home with you, just listening to all the random plant facts that you had harbored in your mind.

Eventually, with the help of the team, he asked you out, and you hugged him and said yes, and that was the beginning of the “oh god, y/n is way softer than I thought”

So he really just tries to be near you or be touching you at all times

(i am also a firm believer that he likes to slow dance to classical music in your living room)

Like during lunch periods when you sit next to him and the second you finish eating hell push you to lean against him

And he’ll rub small circles on your hips and give you small innocent gropes

Or how he hugs your waist when you're doing literally anything, and he puts his head on top of your head while swaying

I can also tell you that Aone is a good singer

So he hums to you (I'm uwuing over my own headcanon lol)

He also really likes just running his hands along your body, so he likes when you wear the one-piece dresses so he has smooth sailing down your body

As a man of little words, he clearly has a more physical approach to getting you on the horny train

What I am trying to get at is that more often than not he literally just picks you up and carries you away.

Of course, that leaves you to come back to whatever you were doing.

That is after the cuddles and after sex ‘conversations’ about the dumbest things

Basically, he likes to hear you talk and he really likes being near.

Osamu Miya

He knew who you were

With a brother like atsumu, who never shuts up about you, it's hard not to

(Osamu is pretty sure atsumu had a picture of you next to his pillow. ew)

Anyway, the two of you just happened to share the same lunch block, and it also just happens to be the only period block that he was alone

No teammates and no especially close that he could hang out with

That meant he could either study or eat

Had he chose to eat, only to be met with the fact that atsumu had drained both of their lunch accounts for his flavor of the week

Poor baby stood there for a while just processing what was the worst news of his life

When you, a true angel among the evil, said that you would graciously pay for his food so that he didn't outlook so sad anymore

If he wasn’t holding an armful of onigiri he would have fallen on his knees and begged to whatever god was out there to let him keep you

But he settled for thanking you and spending the entire period with you, he even offered to share (for the first time in his life)

You complimented him on his flavor choice and he decided to keep you

He made sure to share his recipes with you and you tried to do the same

And somehow that evolved into you guys going on dates, much to atsumu’s distaste, and you guys were totally hitting it off

Osamu was your official biggest fan, he loved everything you do

But that means he wants to stay your biggest fan, and he knows that you’re pretty well known for boys thinking not so innocent things about you

Again being brothers with atsumu gave him this little sadistic streak

He lets you wear all of the revealing outfits and the bikinis, all for everyone to see

Everyone to see what belongs to him

Like at suna’s party he let you wear a black mini-skirt and a white off the shoulder long sleeved flowy shirt.

You looked good, and all the guys staring at you proved that point tenfold. Three guys had come up to you and tried to get you to go upstairs with them. And it was almost immediately shut down when they noticed the act you were sitting on your boyfriend.

Speaking of, he almost always has you in his lap.

Aww, cute! Not, he like grinding you down on him, that's also why he likes having you wear skirts, easy access to your ass, also a nice way to ensure that he could get more than a few gropes in when he wants

No, it's definitely the way he made you wear thigh highs to school one day and the shortest skirt you owned (like a school skirt) and walked behind you the entire day.

And he just reached behind you and lifted your skirt for the whole hallway to see, but mostly for him

He waists no time when he wants to fuck, he’ll just walk up to and open your legs while making out with either you or your neck.

And yes he has done that in front of atsumu

Who was warned to stay out of their room for a while.

Not to mention all those times he convince you to go to school with no underwear on just for the fun of it

(I didn't tell you this but those off the shoulder mini dresses drive him wild. On graduation day he pulled into a closet and had his way with you. I mean he did say that if you wore that dress he was going to do it, buuuuuut y’know….. yolo)

Kyotani Kentaro

We all know he’s a fighter, which means he gets hurt a lot, which in turn makes him a frequent face in the nurse's office

And who happens to be the nurse's niece? You of course!

And right after school, when your aunt takes her break and leaves you to take care of the office alone

Right after school is also when Kyotani always comes in.

(it’s not like he knew that you would be there alone, and that meant that you had to deal with him and heal him up. And it also is not like he started the fight so he could come here and see you. No not that)

Who am I kidding it was like that.

It was totally like that.

Your hands were just so soft when they put the bandages on and you have to bend down to get the wrapping.

He had a crush, that's what iwaizumi said, and after googling what the symptoms of a crush were he was sure

So with the help of the third years, aka Oikawa just having Iwaizumi repeat what he wanted to say, they had a plan

And the next time he was in the office he asked if you wanted to see a movie with him, it was so cute and he looked so shy

It would have been perfect if after five seconds he tried to take it back, you still went on the date with him though

He was happy.

Angry boy likes hugs

And yes he does, no objections

So when he’s upset he’ll make these grabby hands at you and have you come over and stand with him

He shoves his chin on your shoulder and his hands squeezing your waist and you’ll rock back and forth until he calms down.

He’s also very aware of what you wear

Like how your skirt perfectly frames your legs. How the socks you wear make your legs look 10x longer, and make you look like you’re walking like a model.

Or the dark blue leggings you wore with his alternate jersey and you were cheering for him!

But nothing and I mean NOTHING gets him better than when you wear spandex shorts and one of his shirts. He goes feral every time.

This man is the CEO of picking you up and placing you on his lap, straddle style, and just going ham on you

Not to mention that sometimes when he’s really tired he’ll have you just sitting on his lap while he plays with your thighs

(he also likes playing with your waist and stomach, but he doesn't realize that he’s talking out loud so you can hear all of the “so soft”’s he lets out.

Kuguri

You were one of Mika's close friends so you were always just kind of around

It was a little get together that Daishou threw that really made you two close

It was a weird drinking game of sorts, and it had these teams, and you were out as a pair!

Somehow throughout the game, you guys got side-tracked and just ended up talking to each other the rest of the night

Eventually, you were convinced to go on a double date and the rest was history

He didn't even pay attention to what you wore that much until he heard a few rando kids in the locker room talking about it.

And that’s when he started thinking about just who he was dating

He first realized how round your ass was. Is it normal to look that good in leggings? No one else has ever looked that good to him. With that came his obsession with just touching your butt. He just grabs it or he’ll stop you from walking and palm it. Or he’ll rub circles into it.

(it's cute how intrigued he is by your butt)

Then came his obsession with your thighs. Mostly the way that they spread out when you sit. He didn't even understand why they were just so mesmerizing. They were so squishy too. He likes how they look in his hands-

Lastly was the waist thing. You aren't even sure what it is. He just likes putting his hands on your waist. Like a prom picture. Sometimes he’ll squeeze or run his hands along your sides. But he’s mostly stationary.

He also has this habit of just opening your legs and laying on your stomach.

He is just so into how soft you are.

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thatbadadvice · 3 years

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Help! I Can't Afford Not To Destroy My Cleaning Lady's Life

Dear Prudence, Slate, 20 September 2021:

Q. Collections department: A few years ago, I hired a cleaning lady. She had a small business, with a few employees working for her. I’d prepay her in batches, and on occasion she’d ask for additional funds due to something unexpected, but she’d always work it off. Then the pandemic hit. Her staff abandoned her, and she had become too unwell to clean herself, so she closed her business, with $1,200 of prepayments from me. I told her back in January she’d need to pay me back, since she could no longer clean, but I wasn’t in a hurry for the money and knocked the repayment down to $1,000. I’d asked her to send me $100 payments and wanted it paid off by the end of the year.

So far, I have only received $500 back and have had to hound her. She comes back with sob stories of getting fired from various delivery and driver services and saying she doesn’t have any money, after agreeing to pay me when she gets her monthly Social Security deposit. This month, after not receiving a payment in August, I have tried contacting her, and this time no answer. I’m tired of hounding her and could live without the cash, but I can’t live with the resentment of getting taken advantage of by her. I have three choices: Let it go, continue to hound her, or give her an ultimatum that I need to be fully paid back by the end of the year, or I’ll take her to court. I feel like I’m working for my money all over again. What should I do?

Dear Collections Department,

The last 18 months have been incredibly difficult; we are living (well, some of us) through an unprecedented global pandemic that has absolutely decimated supply chains and entire industries, forced parents to make terrible no-win decisions about raising and schooling their children, and separated families across the globe. Many of us have lost and will continue to lose friends and loved ones. Others are economically destitute, forced to work long hours for dying wages in a country with a cruel fucking sham of a social safety net.

And then, of course, there's you — COVID's number-one victim. Sure, Zoom funerals suck, but how about some of these entitled chucklefucks try going a year wiping down their own countertops! Wah-wah-wah, you haven't met your grandchildren? Boo-hoo, you had to put off important medical treatments because you didn't want to risk dying alone on a ventilator in the ICU? Bleat about devastating isolation-induced depression all you want, the real issue is that it's been 18 months since somebody came by to personally clean up your filthy shit.

This cleaning lady ~ claims ~ that a deadly airborne pandemic impeded her and her staff's ability to freely enter peoples' homes to spend time indoors with strangers at length. Pretty improbable, if you ask me! I mean, any rube could have smelled that pile of horse manure from a mile away! Here your cleaning lady is, living the life of Riley on a monthly Social Security stipend that likely extends into the high tens of dollars, withholding from you a king's ransom that could be put to good use for any number of things — lining your purebred hamster's cage, wiping your ass, being set on fire and launched into the sun for shits and giggles. The possibilities are endless, except for the possibility that you just let this fucking woman whose whole life has fallen apart just have five hundred goddamned dollars that you wouldn't even look twice at if it grew fucking legs, put on a trench coat, and started blasting Peter Gabriel on a boombox outside your window.

Poor people are poor on purpose and because of their moral failings, whereas people who would literally never miss $500 but who threaten to take a struggling woman to court to ensure she pays off a meaningless debt at the lowest point in her life and career are good and worthy! It is your cleaning lady who must be taught a lesson about the value of money, and what better instructor than you, a person who deserves all that comes to them in this life, and hopefully also in the next.

#advice #bad advice #dear prudence #covid #pandemic #coronavirus #eat the rich

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]

To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?

—

Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal@minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact

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Diluc

What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins.

Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting.

He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.

“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.”

Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]

Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time.

She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.

She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell.

“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.”

Kaeya

Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes?

But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath.

He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question.

“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”

Jean

Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected.

She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand.

She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?

“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”

Childe

First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.

He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that.

He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you.

“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”

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Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha.

Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night.

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ivyaugustetc · 3 years

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the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcannons #todd anderson #neil perry #gerard pitts #charlie dalton #nuwanda #knox overstreet #steven meeks #stephen meeks #richard cameron #james stuchelli #ginny danburry #chris noel

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ukaiknowsbest · 3 years

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breaking down Ace of Diamond - the "Hero's Journey."

Using the model/guide presented by Overly Sarcastic Productions in their youtube video Trope Talk: The Hero's Journey, I will attempt to discuss how Sawamura Eijun's story in DnA is his Hero's Journey to becoming an ace pitcher in the Japanese HIgh School Baseball environment.

Blue from OSP put forward the 12 basic parts of the Hero's Journey Cycle. The illustration below will be our reference. I simplified a graph made by Signy Wilson in order to match OSP's less rigid guide.

disclaimer: I am by no means any kind of expert. I was just fascinated when I learned about the Hero's Journey as a general trope/framework when it came to writing stories. I want to apply what I learned by breaking down the story created by Terajima Yuuji in Ace of Diamond.

A. ORDINARY WORLD

STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Hero: Sawamura Eijun. Captain and Ace Pitcher of middle school baseball team. He has no formal training in baseball whatsoever but was the one who gathered and convinced his friends to start a baseball club. He's the best player in their small team. Good at sports but bad at academics .

He is generally a baseball idiot and quite a naive/simple guy with a strong heart. He does not have any idea what competitive and pro baseball looks like because not only does he not have experience but also he does not watch the broadcasts on tv/radio at all.

Ordinary World of the Hero: rural town in Nagano Prefecture, where Sawamura formed a small baseball team with his childhood friends. Acording to him, as long as they all stay together they can always play baseball anywhere.

STAGE 2. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE

2.1 Problem/why hero's ordinary world is going to crumble: - He lessened his chances of being scouted/accepted in a good baseball school after he btchslapped an entire opponent team and the umpires in their first and only match as middle school team in Saitama Stadium.

He also has low chance of being accepted into the high school in their area (where his friends are all going to) because he struggles with his academics a lot.

Unless he does something he won't be able to be together with his friends and/or play baseball at all.

2.2 Caller of the adventure - Takashima Rei pursues Sawamura into Nagano Prefecture in order to scout him as a sports scholar for Seido High School, a baseball powerhouse school located in the West Division of Tokyo Prefecture.

2.3 medicine/ solution to hero's crumbling world: being a sports scholar for Seido. This would solve almost all of Sawamura's highschool enrollment problem and also give him the chance to play as much baseball as he wants.

STAGE 3. REFUSAL TO THE CALL

3.1 reluctance to go: Sawamura refuses to leave Nagano despite Rei's "sales pitch" to him and his family. He doesn't want to leave his friends just to play baseball in a stronger school far away because he had promised his friends that they would always stick together.

3.2 hero punished for this - his grandpa literally smacks/slaps him in being stupid and doubting his friends.!!! / technically circumstances are already punishing him for being a hotblooded baseball idiot in the first place.

3.3 do you think you have a choice - this is probably the only chance he'll get to play baseball with all his strength AND finish highschool.

B. EXTRAORDINARY / UNKNOWN WORLD

Venturing out into more competitive/pro baseball is a world beyond him. It's scary and unknown and he'd rather defeat bigger teams than leave his friends.

STAGE 4. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

4.1 crossing physical threshold - Rei persuades him to at least check the school out with his own eyes. They leave Tokyo together for one visit.

4.2. crossing a metaphorical threshold - in that visit, sawamura, picks a fight with a senior who's bound for baseball drafts, works together with a nationally acclaimed catcher in defeating the senior player, thus changing his worldview because he had so much fun.

4.2. conscious and irreversible decision - Because of the experience he goes home conflicted. His family encourages him in their own way to follow his guts and heart and go to Tokyo.

STAGE 5. REALM OF ADVENTURE

5.1 hero learns to navigate the unknown world - Sawamura learns the harsh realities of being in a baseball school once he actually starts to live there. Our boy also gets educated in Baseball and Pitching 101. He also finds out the true personality of the catcher he played with before.

5.2 meeting allies/rivals/mentors - he learns about the team better when he meets a whole bunch of people: batchmates, coaches and senpais. He builds interesting dynamics with all of them.

5.3 trials and initial failures - Sawamura undergoes difficult initial training and is barely allowed to play in matches.

5.4 meeting enemies - Sawamura being allowed to play as relief pitcher in the games and face talented pitchers and scary batters mostly in tense situations.

5.5 growth, new skills - Sawamura grows with each match, thus bolstering his confidence. Sometimes he falters but he learns from his mistakes.

5.6 first major success - striking out scary batters with each new thing he learns.

5.7 major challenge that leads to downfall - seido vs inashiro finals match where he goes in full of confidence and courage but then he and his team gets defeated in a devastating way.

STAGE 6. BELLY OF THE WHALE

6.1 lowest point of hero where hero physically or metaphorically goes down - one month after their major defeat, a lot of intense practice matches and change in team dynamics, the team find out that Sawamura has the YIPS. This condition took away Sawamura's ability to pitch in his trademark style/ the only thing he was good at.

6.2 hero's darkest hour - without the ability to pitch, Sawamura questions his reality and why he is still on the team.

6.3 Face and overcome inner demons - with a lot of help from allies and mentors, Sawamura finds a way to bring back a bit of his ability.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS

7.1 Discarding old self - In the duration of his downfall and eventual healing, Sawamura turns to books, meditation and becomes even more careful in maintaining his form and body.

7.2 Accepting the new role - instead of fixating on the ace position like before, Sawamura is just glad that he is still allowed to pitch as relief.

7.3 Finding path out of the belly of the whale/The road back - After figuring out a solution to fix his pitching, he focuses on it and regains some of his ability. Sawamura is then allowed to play in matches. Just like before, he improves little by little as he recovers from each failure. He gains fresher mindset and new weapons, thus becoming an even stronger pitcher than he ever was before.

7.4 more trials - they face new opponent schools and old but improved opponents which test the best of Sawamura and the team's ability

STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

every major match in ace of diamond has this part of the story but usually the most critical breather episode is the one before the final match.

8.1 show humanity of other characters - Somethng bad happens to the other mc without Sawamura knowing. This could absolutely wreck their chances of winning the final match. This shows that the other guys are not 100% invincible after all.

8.2 last chance to relax. - calm before the storm. It is also the time where they finalize sawamura's weapons.

8.3 quiet moment to reminisce - usually happens before each match. However the night before the finals was the major one because their old senpais went to visit their practice and encourage them.

STAGE 9. CLIMAX / STEPPING UP TO THE CHALLENGE

9.1 Final Showdown - Sawamura helps in the team defense with the best of his ability and weapons and he succeeds. Their team eventually wins Fall Tournament even with a few setbacks.

9.2 Apotheosis - Sawamura's worldview changed once he realises that even with his improvement and skill, his goal of being the ace is still out of reach for him.

9.3 Ultimate Boon - Sawamura gets to be a pivotal member of their baseball team and can play baseball as much as he wants with his team.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS start again after the Fall Tournament Act 1 because Sawamura faces new challenges in Ace of Diamond Act 2.

Meiji Jingu Tournament - Play in matches without Miyuki

WInter camp and break - Intense Physical Training and development and improvement of his weapons which he will use and improve on throughout the rest of Act 2.

Spring Koshien where he realises that he has to do more in order to surpass the current ace which was Furuya.

Start of New Term/ Practice Matches - Sawamura and co. meets their new kouhai and team dynamics shift once again.

Spring Tournament / Summer Tournament - Sawamura meets old foes and new enemies. He also becomes the Ace Pitcher of the team, which adds more pressure on his part.

ACT 2 STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

This is the big and long one before Summer Tournament Finals match where injuries and problems were discussed and feelings were explored.

ACT 2 STAGE 9. CLIMAX

Final (Or most hyped and awaited rematch) Seido vs Inashiro in order to qualify for Summer Koshien Nationals.

**everything after this point will be prediction and just my opinion

STAGES 7-9 start again

Koshien Nationals Arc.

STAGE 10. CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD

Miyuki/3rd years retirement/graduation. Sawamura and his batch will have to lead the team.

STAGE 11. THE REWARD

Sawamura gets to play with his team as ace pitcher.

STAGE 12 / STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Sawamura may become both ace and captain, same as his role back in his middle school team, albeit in a stronger school. Even if he won't be the next captain, as ace he will still be in a strong leadership position.

CONCLUSION

That's how Ace of Diamond is written in the style of A HERO'S JOURNEY.

Act 1 writing especially followed the trope quite rigidly.

Notes:

I still don't want Sawamura to be the next captain. I hope that does not happen. However if it does, it means the story will have gone back full circle. That would be quite poetic ngl.

Gotta applaud Terajima's pacing. Can you believe that the story only reached its lowest and most pivotal point at around episode 70 of the anime???? thank godt that after ep 63 I read spoilers about yips arc in tv tropes or else i would have dropped the series completely.

I had difficulty in classifying the events after the climax stage into hero's journey stages because technically sawamura has not gone "home" yet. Moreover the challenges and trials just kept on piling up after Fall Tournament.

In this whole story, Sawamura has experienced only one true "Belly of the Whale stage" during his YIPS arc. I don't think he really came to a low point in Act 2 other than his first official match as Ace Pitcher. I treated that in the same vein as the effects of Raichi's first homerun off Sawamura back in Act 1.

I realized that having stages 7-9 recur starting from Meiji Jingu to the current summer tournament is what made reading Act 2 quite frustrating for me. That's at least 5-6 arcs of endless roller coaster ride loops.

I consider Miyuki's departure to be the "CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD" moment because playing with him was the major reason for Sawamura's decision to study and play in Tokyo. Something will change Sawamura when this eventually happens.

As Blue from OSP said, the Hero's Journey is just a general guide/framework to writing stories. It is flexible, writers don't even have to use it or all of its parts to make a good story. Terajima just seemed to have adopted A LOT of the hero's journey trope in his baseball series.

I wanted to add more pictures tbh but tumblr is a killjoy :(

This was a fun thought exercise. There were probably even some parts which I have used the tropes wrongly. Please feel free to dispute me.

I talked about Sawamura's mentors here (x).

#sawamura eijun #sports anime #ace of diamond #daiya no a #daiya meta #daiya discuss #hero's journey #long post #daiya thoughts

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