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#barty crouch jr x sirius black
ellecdc · 29 days
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All's Fair in Love & Chaos
1st instalment (read the second here)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
The day that every witch, wizard, and wix alike waited their whole life for finally came for Sirius Black; the day that their soulmate’s initials became visible on your wrist.
The mark becomes visible when the last person of your soulmate bond comes of age. For example, much to Lily’s chagrin, the initials J.F.P became visible on her wrist on March 27th, as did the initials L.J.E on James’ wrist.
Much to Sirius’ chagrin, on June 25th, the initials R.A.B became visible on Remus’ wrist, as did the initials R.J.L on Regulus’.
And so it went for the rest of his friends and classmates.
Except for poor Pete, whose wrist adorned the initials of someone who - after much research and triple-checking by all of their friends - clearly didn’t go to Hogwarts.
Sometimes, however, soulmate bonds took place between more than two people, and though it was possible for it to happen among all blood statuses, the odds were higher amongst Pureblood’s.
So when Sirius woke up this morning to a weird burning/itching feeling on his wrist, only to see not one, but two sets of initials, he was feeling pretty chuffed.
That dissolved very quickly, however.
“No…. nononononononono.” He muttered in agony as he saw two people approaching him; one looking almost as horrified as he did and one looking awfully sinister.
“Well, well, well.” Barty Crouch Junior drawled as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, dragging you over with him - seemingly without your consent – by your arm. “I thought it must have been a mistake when I woke up to find out I had a Son Of a Bitch as a soulmate, but alas; here you are.”
“This can’t be.” Sirius whispered disbelievingly, causing Barty to cackle maniacally.
“Oh, but it is.”
Any words that Sirius had died on his lips at the wheezing of his younger brother.
You, Barty, and Sirius all turned to see Regulus hanging from Remus’ shoulder as he clutched his stomach.
“I…I – oh Salazar, I think I finally believe in gods! All of them! Oh…” He stuttered in between fits of laughter.
Sirius looked between him and his supposed best mate, but Remus only looked at Regulus as if Regulus was his most beautiful when he was laughing at the expense of his brother.
Bastards; the both of them.
“Happy birthday, Y/N!” James offered, his face clearly trying to smile though it took on a pained expression in comissery.
“Thank you…” You accepted timidly, eyes darting between the group of people you suddenly found yourself emmersed in.
“Now look what you’ve done, Black.” Barty sneered as if Sirius’ last name was a dirty word. “You’ve worried our poor girl.” He cooed as he pulled you tight into your side, causing you to squeak in surprise.
“I hardly think I’m the one worrying her.” Sirius sneered back.
Barty’s face turned stony. “Just what are you insinuating?”
“Uhm, that you’re certifiably insane?” Sirius responded simply. 
“Oh, come now; Junior’s not that bad.” Remus tried to reason; his boyfriend still hanging limply off his shoulder as he tried (and failed) to repress his laughter. 
“Not that bad?” Sirius screeched incredulously. “Did you not see what he did to Crawley?”
Peter snorted at that. “Mate, you literally did the same thing to Snape.”
“That was you?” Barty asked in surprise, looking Sirius up and down skeptically.
“Sure was.” James answered on his behalf.
“Huh.” Barty chuckled in thought. “That’s where I- never mind that. I only did that because he groped Y/N’s arse.”
Sirius felt his own face turn stony as he turned his attention to you. “Is this true?”
You seemed to pale at the attention. “Well…yes? But-”
“Ha ha. Black’s just as bad as me.” Barty sing-songed from beside you, looking at Sirius with a look of faux innocence.
Sirius heard a thump, and he looked over to see Remus looking behind the bench where Regulus had apparently fallen in his fit of laughter.
“I – I’ve died, yeah? I’m dead? Fuck, I must’ve done something right in my past life to be rewarded with this. Sirius is – is bonded to Barty Crouch Junior.” He howled with laughter, so uncharacteristic of the young, stoic Black. 
“I am not!” Sirius argued petulantly. “I’m bonded to Y/N, Junior just…happens to be there.”
“If you’re only bonded to Y/N, why are my initials decorating your wrist, hm?” Barty asked salaciously, pulling Sirius’ wrist towards him to see the evidence for himself.
“Oh, sod off.” Sirius barked, shoving him aside and offering you an apologetic glance before storming towards the exit.
“Oi! Where are you going, future-Mr-Barty-Crouch-Junior!?” Barty taunted.
“To jump off the astronomy tower!” Sirius called back.
“Ou! We should go watch.” He said, turning to you before following Sirius out. “You should try to do a flip!”
“Oh, Y/N.” Lily cooed after the boys finally disappeared out of the Great Hall. “I’m so sorry.”
You let out a long-suffering sigh as your eyes stayed focused on the place where you last saw your two new soulmates. “If Regulus did something in a past life to be rewarded with this, I must have done something right horrid.”
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sirixbarty · 4 months
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soft barty crouch jr. headcannons, vol 1
barty got a white male cat for his first school year he doesn't speak a lot; only if he has something really important to say
is constantly cold, like his body doesn't know how to reach 36 degrees
studies a lot, but is also overwhelmingly smart, clever and gifted
tries everything he can to meet the expectations of Barty Crouch Senior but keeps failing
keeps his emotions hidden at all costs, but cries easily
avoids looking in the mirror, because all he can see is the big disappointment
tries to understand his feelings for boys by reading everything he can; works out if there are arithmancy codes for love; never dare to ask for help
is basically a really soft boy with a tender heart, touch and attention starved, very skinny
plays quidditch, but only because he think there is another way to be excellent at something
follows every rule he can
is curious about every rule break, because it really fucks with his head not to follow the rules
has white blond hair almost as if it holds no colour at all; sometimes Bartys feels like he didn’t even deserve a proper haircolour
blushes so fast
as soon as he gets nervous, he starts stuttering and his hands shake so badly
his first kiss is sirius (because we say so!)
his last kiss is also sirius (no dementor-bullshit on soft barty)
unfortunately, he gets sick from eating sweet stuff, so sirius helps him by letting him kiss the taste of sweets from his lips
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scarlet-nygma · 2 years
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Barty Crouch Jr : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Sirius Black: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Barty Crouch Jr : I said within reason, Black. How about I murder that guy?
Sirius Black: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Barty Crouch Jr : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
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rosieandthethorns · 5 months
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i don't WANT to read smut right now
i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia
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isabel-lillah · 18 days
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when James and Reggie got together and James met Reg's friends he took one look at Barty and Evan and he just went god damn it not again
because the flashbacks to pre-relationship Sirius and Remus are hard and he does not want to go through that again
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macaulaytwins · 9 months
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a loose part 2 to the “Sirius Black killed James Potter” nonsense of 1981
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remuslupinlovebot · 1 month
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marauders era p links (18+)
all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public
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REGULUS BLACK
regulus fingering you in his dorm
regulus bouncing you on his cock
JAMES POTTER
riding james when he visits you for summer break
james celebrating a quidditch win
james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)
james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie
james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him
james eating his pretty girl out
SIRIUS BLACK
sirius making his girl feel good
showing sirius what a good girl you are
69’ing with sirius
sirius using his long fingers to make you cum
morning fucks with sirius
sirius fucking you at your house
REMUS LUPIN
remus fucking your face
remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon
riding professor lupin
getting extra credit with professor lupin
BARTY CROUCH JR
bouncing on bartys cock
barty fucking the LIFE out of you
MARLENE MCKINNON
marlene riding the life out of you
marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you
marlene fingering you till you’re shaking
making a sex tape with marlene
marlene eating you out
making out with marlene
LILY EVANS
fucking lily with a d!ldo
intimate but intense foreplay with lily
fucking lily in the common room
sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl
roommate lily helping you out
car sex with lily
thanking lily for date night by eating her out
lily sitting on your face <3
using mommy’s tits to cum
MARY MACDONALD
mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers
mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip
home alone with mary
fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up
making mary cum
eating mary out by the pool
DORCAS MEADOWES
eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering
(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter
giving dorcas special treatment after a night out
dorcas riding you
RANDOM
marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying
pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you
pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty
foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!
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nixnight1 · 5 months
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The Marauders but with Friends' quotes (with a few changes)
Barty: 2024, the year of Barty!
Regulus: Ha ha we are very happy for you *standing next to James*
Barty: What's the matter? Why the long face?
James: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know...
Barty: Alright. I'll take care of it
James: Wait!
Regulus: Barty!
Barty: Sh sh sh let me
*Goes straight to Sirius*
Sirius: Thirty three, thirty two...*while jumping*
Barty: Black, Black, Black, listen. Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Lupin or Evan?
Sirius: What?
Barty: Well, you gotta kiss someone. Can't kiss your brother.
Sirius: Well, who's gonna kiss my brother?
Barty: Potter
Sirius: Oh, man! Really? 🤢
Barty: Mate, mate, who would you rather kiss your brother? Me or Potter?
Sirius: That's a good point
Barty: Yeah
Sirius: Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rosier, I guess Moony
Barty: Okay, great!
Sirius: Allright
*Barty goes to Remus*
Barty: Hey, Lupin! Listen, Black wants to kiss you at midnight
Remus: Regulus? Why would he?
Barty: No, silly, your Black
Remus: My Black. It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
*Barty goes to Evan*
Barty: Ev, Ev, Listen. I'll kiss you at midnight
Evan: Finally
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pearlynia · 2 months
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Sirius "dogfather" Black
Remus "I love you more than chocolate" Lupin
James "it's a stag not a deer🤓" Potter
Regulus "I'm not gonna learn how to swim, you can't tell me what to do! *Drowns not even a year later* Black
Barty "I'm not insane 🙄" (famous last words) Crouch
Evan *DEAD silent* Rosier
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daddiesdrarryy · 2 months
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James & Regulus: *kissing*
Barty: That’s got to be fun for you, huh?
Sirius: …
Barty: Watching your best friend suck the saliva out of your brother’s mouth?
Sirius: Shut up
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ashes-to-ashesxx · 3 months
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wolfstar think they're kinky until they find out what jegulus do
then sirius, james and remus find out what rosekiller get up to and just stop functioning properly
(regulus is completely fine with this information, he already knew)
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ellecdc · 25 days
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All's Fair in Love & Chaos
2nd instalment (read the first one here)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
Though this soulmate thing had caused Sirius a bit of grief so far, he was feeling rather chuffed about it today. He was currently sitting with you in the library; you were currently doing research for your Herbology project, and he was pretending to work on his Transfiguration essay.
It was an odd sight, he was sure; Sirius Black found in the library working quietly without being involved in some sort of mischief. It was no secret he didn’t exactly take his school work seriously, but that was only because he didn’t have to; classes came easily to him and getting good grades didn’t require any extra work on his part.
But…
But, he had a pretty little thing sitting across from him, that was certifiably his, and she was spending time in the library, which meant he was, too. 
It was a precarious arrangement, but Sirius found he didn’t much mind when the unpleasantness wasn’t around. 
Unfortunately, the unpleasantness was insistent on following him around.
“Junior.” He growled lowly as a figure sidled up behind you and cast a shadow over your shared table.
“Black.” Barty sneered before turning a saccharine smile in your direction. “Hello, sweet darling angel.” He cooed, earning him a scoff from Sirius.
“Hello, Barty… what are you doing here?”
Barty laughed as if you’d made a particularly funny joke. “I’m here to spend time with my best girl, of course!” 
“Like hell you are!” Sirius barked, earning him indignant shushes from the other students around him.
“Barty… you agreed to this.” You tried placating.
“Agreed to share you with Black?” Barty squawked. “I’d sooner start wearing red and gold unironically.”
“Junior, this schedule was your idea. I get the library study time on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. You get the library study time on Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays. It’s Tuesday; get lost.” Sirius lamented.
“But I don’t want to!” Barty pouted particularly petulantly, even stomping his foot for good measure. 
“Well, you can take it up with management.” Sirius taunted.
“You just sodding said yourself that this was my plan; I am the management!” Barty countered. 
Sirius mustered his most Noble and Ancient menacing glare from countless Black ancestors. The Slytherin boy had no problem reciprocating it, and it wasn’t until you intervened that the boys broke the silent war being waged between them.
“Barty, I…I think you should go see what Pandora is up to? And…maybe we can sit together at dinner?” You offered hopefully. Sirius was simultaneously grateful you were trying to rid them of the unpleasantness and also terribly jealous that Barty was going to share a meal with you.
“Yes! Okay, I’ll go get Pandora to help me organize a romantic meal for us tonight.” Barty beamed excitedly.
“Please. How romantic can a meal in the Great Hall be?” Sirius sneered, albeit slightly worried that Barty may in fact succeed.
“You mind your fuckin’ business, Black. Salazar’s balls you’re a pest.” 
“I’m the pest!?” Sirius exclaimed, but you were quick to place a conciliatory hand on Barty’s forearm.
“Please, Barty?”
Barty looked down at you with a pained expression that Sirius could understand all too well.
You were impossible to say no to.
Barty looked between you and Sirius a few times before groaning exasperatedly. 
“Fine.” He relented, pressing a smacking kiss to your cheek and stalking off.
Sirius let out a sigh of relief as you turned back towards the table with an embarrassed smile.
“Oh!” Sirius heard, causing him to let his head fall with a thump to the table before him. “I almost forgot.”
And Sirius lifted his head from the table to watch as Barty pulled at the collar of your uniform shirt to expose part of your neck and began sucking a bruise into your skin.
Sirius spit out a shocked guffaw as he watched Barty pull back, admire his work, press a chaste kiss to it and replace your collar to its proper place before leaving the library for good. 
“What…” Sirius started as he turned his attention from the door he’d been keeping an eye on to ensure that menace didn’t return to continue tormenting him back to you, just as you were embarrassedly rubbing at your neck. “...in the buggering fuck was that?”
“That’s just Barty.” You replied timidly. 
Sirius let out another scoff, eyes still glued to your neck. “Are you okay?”
You chuckled at that and offered Sirius a smile that was equal parts apologetic and equal parts teasing. “I’m pretty sure that’s his way of showing…affection? Or possibly marking his territory; he’s done it before when Diggory spent a, quote, ‘unreasonable amount of time complimenting my potion’.” 
Sirius relaxed a little at that. He supposed if you were comfortable with it, he wouldn’t push it. And though Sirius clearly had better impulse control than your other soulmate, he couldn’t deny how much he was tempted to do the same.
“Alright then.” Sirius relented, allowing you to return to your research.
“I hope you know you’ve just opened up the need to schedule meals now though.”
“For fuck’s sake.” You groaned, plopping your head down into your textbook.
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sirixbarty · 6 months
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Sirius.
That voice.
He would have recognised Barty among thousands. Always. It had been ages since he'd heard him, he couldn't have said exactly for how long. It had been ages since he'd spoken to him. And yet.
That voice could not be ignored. 
A voice, that wasn't even a cry, at most it was a whisper. His name, Sirius. In a way that no one had ever called him Sirius. Or at least not for a very, very, very long time. Loving and familiar, all soft, all honest. Full of trust and affection and admiration. Full of love. 
Sirius.
A whisper, behind this curtain.
I am here. 
It wasn't even a call. Not a plea. Just his name.
Sirius. 
All around him, curses, shouting, rage and fighting. And the only people he had left in his life. There was Harry, his Harry, who looked the spitting image of James and Lily. Who was brave and who didn't shy away from confrontation, clever and shrewd. As popular as James and as gentle as Lily. The boy he wanted to see grow up. The boy he wanted to teach everything James and Lily could no longer. He loved the boy, he was the closest he would ever again get to his best friend - and at the same time, every moment with him was painful. 
Then there was Dumbledore. Sirius could only see him from a distance, watching him struggle, with that look on his face that Sirius already knew so well. Facing, but cool. Friendly, but at a distance. He had been his teacher for years, then his mentor. Today, he couldn't say what Dumbledore was to him.
And then Remus. Moony. 
His Moony. 
He loved Remus. He had always been by his side, even now, after the death of their friends, after Azkaban; even now that Sirius barely really existed. He was his friend, his confidant. He loved him. He really did.
But the great love of his life was not Remus.
Sirius.
That was Barty.
Always just Barty.
Even when he wasn't around anymore. Even when they couldn't have each other for decades. Even when everything about it had been wrong. And he also knew he was dead. That it was irrational and stupid. That there was no chance there anymore. Barty was gone and so was Sirius.
And yet he could hear his voice.
Sirius.
A red light. And then there was Bellatrix's curse, hitting him right in the chest. A simple shock spell only. Sirius faltered, staggered. It wasn't a strong curse, his cousin was too wound up to cast accurately anymore. He should have just fallen over, the others would have helped him, he would have been fine in five minutes. Just a simple stupor.
Sirius, I'm here.
His eyes found 'Remus' as he fell. They looked at each other and his friend understood even before Sirius did. If he had to choose between a life in the afterlife with Barty or this, his choice was clear. Despite Harry, despite Remus, despite a life of freedom.
Sirius took a step to the side. And then he let go. Dropped, straight through the curtain, towards the voice.
Towards Barty.
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alpha-canis-major · 10 months
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James:*accidentally walking into Regulus* Oh hey Reg, how are you?
Regulus:*scowling* watch where you're going Potter
Later
James: I just don't think he likes me Moons, and I don't know what to do with myself because I like him so so so much
Remus: It'll be alright Prongs, and maybe it's better this way so Sirius doesn't kill you
James: Yeah, maybe
Meanwhile
Regulus: I just like him so much
Evan: We know
Regulus: Every single thought I have is about him
Barty: Yes, we know
Regulus: I wish he would just slam me against the wall and have his way with me
Dorcas: Regulus you say this every single day we are aware
Regulus: He's just so ARRRGGGAAARRGGGG and I want to EAT him I need this man biblically he makes me feral
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whenpercyfallsinlove · 10 months
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it was supposed to be two weeks off of school but for some reason i watched a wolfstar tiktok and now it’s three years later and i run a tumblr about harry potters dead dad, dead mom, his dead Godfather, his dead teacher, his dads dead boyfriend who’s also the Godfathers brother, that guys best friend and his boyfriend, a random girl who was mentioned one time in the series because “she was killed two weeks after this was taken”, her girlfriend, luna lovegoods mom, and the guy who betrayed them all
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isabel-lillah · 26 days
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Barty and James becoming besties after James and Reggie got together is an iconic thing to happen
especially at the point when really only the skittles know about the relationship, so noone has a clue that Barty and James are a duo
and then when they're seen helping each other with an injury half of Hogwarts loses their shit (because come on, Barty? and James?? being friends???)
the other half doesn't believe it until they see James dragging Barty away from a fight so he wouldn't get a detention and Barty actually letting him do so
meanwhile Sirius is having a stroke trying to figure out when the hell did James befriended Barty Crouch Jr. of all people
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