Link: A Robin’s Song Chpt Six
Two months ago
“I’m moving.”
The words shot through him like a bullet to the heart, leaving him stumbling back. All their after high school plans, their college coordination, everything that had gone unsaid that would now never be.
He made a choked noise and dove for him, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Jon gripped him like a lifeline, shaking.
“Gonna miss you…so much.” he sniffled, feeling the hot tears gather where Damian was hiding his face.
“Don’t say that, please don’t say that…” Damian’s voice was muffled, hands bunched in Jon's shirt.
His world was breaking, his everything was gone. Jon was being ripped away from him despite his best efforts. He was desperate, clinging to his friend as if any second he would disappear.
“Thank you for being here with me, through everything.” His voice cracked and he curled in on the smaller boy, tears dotting their clothes.
“You’re moving, not dying, idiot.” Damian muttered, eliciting a broken little laugh from the other boy.
“I know. Just…promise me. Promise me we’ll still be friends.” He held out his pinkie like they would do as children.
“I’ve been invested into this friendship for too many years to let it go out now.” Damian felt a pang in his chest, and an odd feeling of dread as they shook their linked fingers.
They wouldn’t know how quick the years’ bond could come crashing down, memories aflame.
Jon leaned back, pulling the shorter boy to his chest in a cuddling position. Damian’s cheeks flushed, and he blamed it on the tears, ignoring the flutters in his stomach. This was a moment for them, a moment to soak up every last memory that they could make in the time left.
If he had looked up, just for a moment, he would have seen the rush of emotions on the other boy’s face, and the conflicting pink to his cheeks.
One day ago
“Two tickets for the 5:30 showing, please!” Damian snatched up the tickets, bouncing on his toes as he waited outside the theater.
The girl manning the booth grinned at him, saying teasingly. “Got a date?”
He flushed, before waving his hands in the air. “N-No, he’s my best friend.”
“Sureee.” She waved him in. “Hope you enjoy it.”
He waited awhile, the clock ticking further and further towards the time of the start. He pulled out his phone, texting him again, deciding he might as well get concessions.
Fifteen more minutes passed and he was on the edge of a seat facing the entrance and ticket booth, eating the popcorn.
There was no sign of him and Damian was starting to worry. This had been planned for months, and Jon had promised he’d be there.
He called him once the movie started, still outside. It rang and rang, ultimately going to voicemail.
“Jon, you’re late, are you okay? Don’t tell me you forgot, we’ve been planning this for months!”
“J, this is really messed up.”
“I’m not watching this movie without you and you know it.”
“Jonathan Samuel Kent-Lane, answer your goddamn phone!”
Thirty minutes of calling once the movie was well underway, and he was still alone, the phone ringing and ringing, slushies melted and popcorn cold.
The sympathetic looks were painful and the moment his phone buzzed, he jolted, clicking on it.
A notification from Haisley’s instagram tagging Jon lit it up and he clicked on it nearly crushing his phone in the overload of feelings, looking at the high-quality picture of the two of them in the park, Jon flushed pink as Haisley kissed his cheek.
His jaw clenched and with shaking hands he pressed the call button again, waiting for the voicemail.
“You DITCHED ME for your GIRLFRIEND?” His voice was wrecked, an example of himself in the moment.
“Screw you, honestly. I can’t believe you, you said this was important to you and that you’d tell her and she’d understand!”
He screeched into his hands as the voice limit cut off, not caring that he was in public and getting several concerned glances.
Damian pocketed his phone and began picking up, tossing the empty stuff into a trash can and taking the rest home. At least his siblings could enjoy them.
“Hey, kid!” The booth manager beckoned him over and curiously, he went. “That was a shitty thing your boy did. Take this, and bring him back when he comes to his senses.”
It was a voucher for two and he smiled a bit, thanking her for her kindness. She waved to him and he made the walk back home, tired and emotionally drained..
The heartache blossomed in his chest, the lull of the painful longing swirling together and coming out as something so hideous that he was ashamed of himself for feeling it.
Present Day
“Damian?” Tim prodded at his brother. “Damian, get up, you slept through the alarm.”
“Mmpf.” He mumbled, blearily rubbing at his eyes. Tim still had his bedhead and Duke was still searching for his hoodie, so he hadn’t missed much.
Zombie-like, he stepped out of bed and dressed, slipping on his shoes and leaving the bedroom in search of the rest of his siblings.
His father was in the kitchen, still in his PJs, and when asked why, he responded that Dick had woken with a fever and was going to stay home.
The rest of the morning went by as usual, and despite the sick feeling at the bottom of his stomach, he shoveled breakfast into his mouth and walked the rest of the way to school.
Duke avoided conversation, opting to stay silent but presenting a comforting air that made Damian’s fists clench.
His first few classes of the day were spent avoiding Jon in the hallways, ducking his head if he noticed the blue eyes sweeping the long rooms for him.
He heard his name called a few times but brushed by, pretending he had not heard anything. It was petty, but he felt it was well deserved.
The bell rang for lunch and he slunk out of the room, dread coiling in the bottom of his stomach.
Just get your lunch, and go to the library. Damian chanted in his head, trying to evade the worst of the line and Jon’s eyes
He was nearly out when a hand clamped down on his shoulder, causing him to twist into a defensive stance and swing, narrowly avoiding Jon’s nose.
“Whoa, whoa, D, it’s just me!” he yelped, ducking.
“Sorry.” He said, avoiding his gaze. “You scared me.
Jon crossed his arms, waiting for him to look up. “Dames, you’ve been avoiding me all day. What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”
Yes.
“No.” Damian grit out. Clutching his tray harder, he tried to walk past him, what little appetite he had gone.
“Then what is it?” He scowled, blocking the shorter boy’s way, the tray spilling its contents on the floor.
“Oh my gosh, i’m sorry-”
“Don’t.” Damian hissed. His self-restraint had been chipping away the last few months, the heartbreak and the longing and the anger swirling together and spitting filth at the one who was rooted in the cause.
Although, deep down, he knew it was really himself who was to blame.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t apologize for things you don’t mean.” Jon’s face twisted into an unreadable expression, grasping that they were no longer talking about the fallen lunch.
“Dames, what’s going on with you?”
His fists curled at his sides and he looked up at him. “Jon, do you know what yesterday was?”
“N-no..” He pulled out his phone to check, clicking in his messages and visibly falling as he realized everything going on.
“I’m so sorry, Dami, i didn’t mean to-”
His nails dug into the soft skin of his palms as his eyes itched. “You went out with Haisley yesterday, knowing that it was the day we were supposed to watch our movie.”
Jon huffed. “That’s not fair, Damian, I forgot! My phone was at home, and you know that I have to spend as much time with her as possible now so that we can stay together when I move.”
His eyes watered at the implication but he blinked them back and held his stance.
“You told me, months ago when we planned this, that she’d understand. Why is it, that this girl you’ve been dating for a max of six months, who you don’t even like , is more important then someone who’s been with you your whole fucking life?”
The taller boy scowled, eyes reflecting hurt.
“Shut up, you don’t know how I feel, and you don’t get to tell me who I can and can't hang out with. Are you jealous? Is that what’s happening right now? Because that sure sounds like it. You don’t like that I'm with someone else who’s not you, and that’s why you’ve been like this since Haisley. That’s real fucking selfish.”
Right on the money, but not in the way you think.
The rare curse from the boy made the quip die on the tip of his tongue, only further solidifying what they knew.
Everything, the years and memories and the hidden feelings had been lit aflame and would soon be crumbling to ashes over the simplicity of something missed.
There was more to this than either of them would dare to admit, and this would be the downfall to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
They stopped, watching each other. Damian’s anger and hurt were spilled on his face and mannerisms, curled in on himself but still rigid in a defensive position.
Everything about Jon screamed defensive, from the way he was standing to the expression on his face, eyes guarded but still watching.
Tearful eyes stared down, circling each other while staying in the same spot.
“I was your best friend.” Damian spoke into the tense silence. “I gave you everything I had. I let you vent and offered advice and gave up the things that would have brought me nothing but joy because I wanted you to stay happy and stay with me .”
“I don’t care that you have someone, that you have other friends than me, or we would have been done a long time ago. I can’t….”
He inhaled shakily, heart wrenching out of his chest with the way Jon’s eyes overflowed, his own voices dangerously close to wobbling.
“I can’t do this anymore. This isn't an ultimatum, because I'd never make you choose. But I don't think that I can keep playing second fiddle and being ditched left and right because your priorities switch in a bat of an eyelash.”
His eyes shut as the pain-stricken voice he loved rang in his ears. “The ice cream and the songs and the jackets and nights out on your porch just all mean nothing to you?”
“They mean everything to me.” Damian’s voice broke, hot tears burning his eyes. “And I will never be able to let them go…never be able to let you go, no matter how hard I try.”
“Then don’t let me go.” Jon pleaded pitifully.
“I have to. I have to for my own sanity, and for you, because you need to l et go. Let go of me, and this place, because you’re going to do amazing things, Jonathan Kent. You’ll move, and you’ll forget, i swear you will-”
“I won’t.” He sobbed. “I will never forget you, and I'll stay here and we’ll make up, and everything will be fine-”
“YOU WILL!” Damian screamed. “I’m replaceable, forgettable, and this only proves it. I’m leaving, even if it's just for now.”
“Damian, please -”
He couldn’t hear the rest of the plea, whipping around and letting his feet take him somewhere far away, out of the halls and the schoolyard and down the streets until he wound up at his door, stumbling through with barely contained wail.
His father stood from where he was sitting on the old chair in the living room and rushed to pick him up.
“Damian, Damian, are you okay? Can you hear me?”
He choked on a sob and buried his face in his father’s chest. Bruce scooped him up and held him like he were five instead of the nearly eighteen.
When he was calmed enough, he began talking, wobbling through the events of the past few months, allowing himself to be rocked gently and held.
“I left school…I’m sorry.” He rubbed his eyes nearing the end of the story.
“I’m sorry, Dami, so sorry this is happening. It’s fine, I'll call you in, and you can stay home tomorrow too, if you want.”
He sniffled and nodded, sliding out of his father’s grasp but leaning against him on the couch.
A black-haired head bobbed up and into the living room, clutching a blanket. Dick’s nose was red and his eyes were puffy, and out of it enough to not question his elder brother’s appearance at home instead of school. He climbed between them and fell back asleep, warm from the fever.
The heat, no matter how worrying, was controlled enough that Damian’s eyes began to flutter shut as well.
He woke to a door slamming shut and sobs coming from whoever had just entered. The couch was empty, Dick back in his bed and his father in the doorway.
Looking around, he saw Tim in his father’s hold, crying. “I-I knew they were going, b-but it’s too s-oon, I d-don’t want h-im to l-leave-”
“Tim?’ Damian got up and went to the other side of the couch.
“D-Dami,” He hiccuped. “It-s next w-eek-”
The words sunk in and the world around him crumpled. Rushing blood pounded in his ears, his breathing erratic.
No, no, no, no, please please please don’t let him leave me, he can’t leave with things like this between us still-
“Dami? Dames?”
Please. Please not like this-
“Damian? Damian, can you hear me?’
Oh, God-
The world spun, the tears he didn’t realize were running down his face, the sobs sucking the air from his chest.
“Damian, breathe with me, okay?”
His emotions were consuming him whole, swirling around him as his surroundings blurred and he tasted the bile rising at the back of his throat. He clamped a hand over his mouth, barely reaching the trash can before his stomach lurched, emptying its contents.
He fell on his knees, the vile taste in his mouth the last thing he remembered before the world went dark.
Damian woke up a few hours later in his bed, Tim curled into his side. A disgusting taste was left in his mouth and he slid out from under Tim, slowly and painstakingly trying to avoid waking him.
He made his way to the restroom and rinsed out his mouth, brushing his teeth twice to rid himself of the taste. He padded into the kitchen, the smell of cooking food making him nauseous.
“Hey Dames. Tim still asleep?” Duke’s voice came from behind him, his brother sitting on the table with a stack of homework.
“Yeah.” He slid next to him, despite the angry rumbles of his stomach.
Duke ran a hand through his own hair, offering a tired smile. “You want something? Some ginger ale, toast? A hug?”
Damian shook his head. “I’m thinking I'll go back to bed.”
“Okay.” He leaned over and gave him a quick side hug in thanks before making his way back to the room.
Tim was slightly awake now, curling back into Damian as he laid back down.
“I think I loved him.” Tim whispered, eyes shimmering. “In some way. Platonic or other, but I know I did.”
“I know, Tim.” He inhaled shakily, tears burning his eyes. “I did too.”
“We’re all like birds, you know? A flock, and when some try to fly away with the others, most end up staying anyway.”
Damian buried his nose in Tim’s soft waves, humming softly. “I suppose so.”
The imagery stayed with him the rest of that day, and the next until words pieced themselves together and by the weekend, he had a whole new song. This one, titled Two Birds, would be the most painful for him yet.
He refused to open his phone at all, terrified of missed messages and calls from a certain someone. He wanted to leave it and pretend none of it had ever happened, but that would be impossible. The small flicker of hope telling him to fix what they had left before Jon left was small yet persistent.
He was unprepared to let go, not ready to lose the steady constant in his life. For the thousandth time, he cursed his feelings, screaming, begging, for the past to be changed and to feel these things for someone else.
When he finally went back to school, he avoided everyone he knew at all costs, hearing his new song coming from more than one direction.
The time dragged on, but was simultaneously too fast. Too much time staring in his direction, too little time to say what he truly wanted to.
School ended much too soon, for that day. He dragged himself home, knowing that up the road was a big white truck, taking one half of his childhood with him.
“Damian?” Tim’s voice was small, having just come from the Kents with Bart and Cassie to give Kon their goodbyes.
“They…they’re still there, for now. If you wanted to…?"
In a fit of courage, he nodded, picking himself up from the couch and slipping on his shoes. The closer he got, the more desperate he got as well, pushing himself farther, too far. He paused, panting, before turning on his phone for the first time in a week and calling Jon's number.
The phone went straight to voicemail, no matter how many times he called. He picked up speed again and realized with painful horror, that his number had been blocked.
Please, please, please-
He was almost there.
So
Close…
Damian saw the cars pulling out of the driveway and with his last bit of strength he chased after, dropping onto the pavement as they exceeded his limit, away from the house, way from the block.
Away from him.
And they would not be coming back.
Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away and the other
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