#but I've been catching more of her streams lately and it turns out she's actually hilarious and I've been missing out

[strangerhottotties]

Grease and Grunge Part 1 - E.M. and B.H.

Chapter Summary: You have your first date with Eddie. Billy finds out and you get into your first fist fight (kind of). I promise next chapter will actually involve the summer camp.

Warnings: Smut, 18+, kissing, grinding, these kids running right for third base, vaginal fingering, blow jobs, fist fights, Billy being a possessive douche but also kind of sweet.

Author's Note: I now have a clean house... and my wedding invites have been sent out soooo... Let's be more productive. Thank you guys so much for being patient. It's been a wild week for me and I'm about to go sleep like the dead. This was a little rushed because it's been nearly a week and I've had a ton of things thrown at me. It's not as good as I would like but I can always go back and edit it later.

Prologue

Eddie's trailer wasn't scary to you when you pulled into the driveway. There was a homey feeling. Nostalgia rising in your chest at the multiple trailers you'd grown up in throughout your life. A bubbling familiarity sinking into your gut at the relief that it wasn't some rich kid's house.

The phantom taste of hose water hit your tongue at the sight of it. Late summer mornings of orange sunlight streaming through your dewy windows flutters in your memories, and you smile up at the metal siding.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Eddie asks, turning down the Black Sabbath he'd turned up six minutes ago only to yell over it. His expression gives you hesitant curiosity. He was preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.

"When I was six, my neighbor, Mrs. Holdings - she would always bake pumpkin treats for the kids. This looks like her trailer. It reminded me of her overgrown garden bed filled with lily of the valley. The two springs we lived there; the whole park would smell like them for weeks." You hum, giggling. "Dumb right?"

When you look away from the imaginary garden, Eddie's eyes soften, and he sinks against the steering wheel quietly for a moment. When he breaks out into a laugh, his hands excitedly tap the steering wheel. "No, absolutely not dumb." He unbuckles and scoots closer to point at a trailer in your window. "Gerold, over there, he's an old World War II vet. His wife past a few years ago but she used to plant these big ugly yellow flowers to match the yellow on her trailer. I used to go sit down wind because in the summer she'd wash everything they owned by hand and the soap she used smelled like my grandma." The smiles you pass between you are filled with more breathless laughter.

"How often do you have cats out here?" You ask, eyes lighting up.

"All the time. I bet you're the girl that's always setting out cans of cat food for them, huh?" You shrug and give a guilty look.

"I love the purrs," you whine out and he scoffs. "My mom never let me keep any. Didn't want the mess, ya know."

Eddie nods at you, sighing. "Wayne caught me bringing home a possum once." Initially, your jaw drops before you burst into side splitting laughter. He jumps out of the van and heads around to open your side for you. "Come on, chuckles," he hums affectionately.

"How'd you catch it!?" You demand, hopping out and you look up at him as he closes the door.

"They're really slow," he offers. "I just kind of picked it up as it was hissing and then it pretended to die so I just brought it home. My uncle was convinced I was going to get rabies." You start laughing again, head tilted back. You heard the gravel crunch beneath his feet and fingertips brush up your arm. "You like that story?" He hums.

You glance up him, sobering at him standing so close. More of the cologne that floated around his van swims around you now. His brown eyes twinkle and crickets' chirp. "Yes, it's a very a sweet story." You admit.

"Yeah, girls love stories like that. Why?" He hums.

"Hmm.. that's a really good question." You bite your lip and squint up at him.

"Is it the personality? Goopy, lovesick things?" You offer him a shrug.

"I can see it, see you. Maybe it's me thinking of little Eddies," comes your response. It's when his eyebrows raise that you start to stumble. "I- oh, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, sweetheart," he chuckles deeply at me. "It's good to know I'm not the only one moving quick."

"What's that mean?" You squeak out, face flushing and you wonder if he can tell in the dark.

"Because this whole conversation I've been wondering if it's too early to kiss you." You let out a breathless noise when your back hits the cold exterior of his van. You didn't realize you'd leaned back against it.

"O-okay," you breathe. Eddie grins, leaning closer. His eyes hold yours with their intensity alone.

"You've got really pretty lips," he murmurs just before he presses his mouth to yours. His were warm, slightly damp, and soft. Eddie gives a softer groan when your mouth parts under the slow swipe of the tip of his tongue. It's not intrusive. You follow his lead, hesitantly tasting him back.

You shouldn't even be standing outside, even if it was dark kissing him. The idea is terrifying. But Eddie tasted like something you'd never had. He tasted like mint and cigarettes and... something subtle and nearly sweet. It was good. It was fantastic. It made you lean up against him and crane your neck back to press as close as you could.

It felt hazy and too warm all at once. Your heart raced in your chest at his slow kisses. A distant noise has you breaking away to look. A scrapping?

Red catches your eyes and your heart leaps into your throat. A girl, preteen and familiar on her skateboard is riding by, staring right at you. You recognize her as the one that rode to school in Billy's car. She rolled her eyes and sent Eddie the bird. "Get a room!"

"Move along, cabbage patch!" He shouts, waving her off.

"That's Billy Hargrove's sister," you hiss, hands clenching his shirt.

"Yeah? And?" Eddie demands.

"Can we go inside?" You whisper.

"Yeah," he replies, "come on in." You can tell by the weird look he gives you, that he definitely noticed the way you'd handled that little panic. You follow him up the porch quickly. His living room is the first thing your greeted with. "So, you got a problem with Hargrove?"

"Uhhh, kinda. Yeah," you respond. "He just... has kind of screwed with my head all year." That caught his attention.

"You know he lives like two trailers up, then, right?" Your eyes widen and you shake your head. "Was he your boyfriend?" He prompts further.

"No, he just... it's not a big deal. I just... I don't know - it's weird. I've never even been on a date. He just sits behind me in Spanish. Kind of a jerk."

"Okay," Eddie nods, "I get it. Do you... wanna work on the project?"

"Yea," you sigh in relief, whole body sagging. The project was neutral ground. The project you could handle.

"Cool, have a seat I'll set everything up," he insists, and you drop down onto the sofa as steps out. With so much happening in the last couple minutes you allow yourself to process, re orienting.

The whispers of Billy concerned you. Not the physical ones, just the ghost of his words haunting you. Brushing over your skin and leaving behind a slimy residue. All week long you'd had the same dream of him climbing through your window and you're unable to rouse yourself from sleep. You've been subjected to his nocturnal seduction every night for four days now.

This grip he had on you, somehow a part of Billy was even there for you first kiss. The idea doesn't bother you as much as you want it to. It doesn't inspire rage or even annoyance - instead, worry gnaws at your lip and the groinal response strangles you in its hold. The primal part of you that liked to ignore logic coos over the possession. You're unaware that Billy would even care this much.

Eddie trots back into the room. His dark eyes holding space for you. "I'll order a pizza," he chirps and washes away the gritty, dark streak Billy's hold has on your mind. The smell of his cologne floods you when he drops beside you on the couch and the spot in your head that's usually full of anxious Billy thoughts melts.

Instead of the rigid ice there is only you wanting to taste Eddie's tongue again.

"What toppings do you like?"

Here, you think, here you could find yourself for ages. Eddie's normal chatter had settled. Your entire project lay completed, filed away with stunning effectiveness. Objective complete, Eddie produced his horror story as promised. You half expected a show in his living room like he usually did in class.

Big arm flourishes as he gave personality and voice to each of his characters. A dramatic retelling of his epic tales - never dull, as he acted out some of these scenes. Witty humor and raunchy jokes sprinkle most of his stories.

Tonight, however, you think you like this way better. Eddie had tucked you into his side, arm twisted across your shoulders as his fingers stroked soothing circles on your arms. Tonight, Eddie didn't flop to the floor with his deaths. Tonight, his hair tickled the side of your face when you tucked your nose against his throat.

His cadence settled, he rumbled in an almost whisper. Voice low and rich, it was like the perfect pairing to a fine wine. His story crept on suspenseful tightropes.

His body was warm and with your belly so full of the pizza you'd both munched through your project with, you were completely relaxed. Especially when your ear pressed against his shoulder, and you could hear the racing beat of his heart.

And as much as you loved listening to his work your mind was floating dizzyingly above you, dangling out of reach of your fingers, replacing the empty space with Eddie's lips.

You can't help yourself when the little goblin that lives in your head stirs awake. Eddie's voice stutters when your fingertips stroke the fabric of his Iron Maiden shirt he's currently wearing. He tries to continue after a moment, obviously not minding the attention too much. You settle there for a moment, just memorizing the way it feels to touch him.

Don't peel that wallpaper, a dying part of you cries.

The voice between your legs is crying, though. It's seeped into your entire being. A bone deep arousal that's hard to ignore and makes your head spin.

You'd never noticed that his belt buckle was a set of handcuffs and wondered slightly at it. Your fingers stretch across a little lower, drifting over the planes of his stomach under your bold direction. "Eddie," a voice calls and it takes you both a second to realize it was you. He pauses, eyes raking over you. He had a dazed expression you didn't quite understand. "I really like your story, but you... you might have to start over." His eyebrows shoot up at your words, mouth parting in pleasant surprise.

"What, you getting a little distracted over there?" A grin seeps across his face, lazy and nearly sleepy. He drops the papers on the floor, letting the flip and flutter across the carpet.

"Oh, you don't have to do that!" You gasp and lean forward, reaching across him. Eddie's snatching you around the waist and you squeak when you're being pitched back. Your hair halos around your head on the cushion as Eddie leans over you.

"It seems the lady would like a different type of entertainment, I shall deliver." Eddie's knee slots between yours as he lowers himself above you. Fire barrels through your body, humming with excitement.

"Eddie," you call quietly, and he catches your serious gaze.

"Yes?" The way he's staring at you is molten. Setting every nerve you have on fire, one of his hands braces himself up above you.

"I should tell you," you breathe out steeling lungful of air. Nervous for how he might react for the next words. "I like you, but... next month I'm leaving. I took this summer jobs so... I don't want you to get your feelings hurt."

Eddie bursts into this amused giggle that startles you. Not furious like he thought. "Wait," he gasps, "you mean to tell me your just wanted to go out with me for a date or two?" He laughs harder when you nod hesitantly. You want to flee suddenly, unsure how to interpret his response. "So, what was your plan here?" He insists on continuing, eyes glittering with something dark and dangerous. "Were you trying to just get in my pants?" He obviously doesn't mind the notion.

After a moment, you nod again, and his eyebrows raise higher on his face. "I just want to... try a few things... is that alright?" Eddie is stunned into an elated silence it seems, a daze holding him before he groans, and you can feel it run the length of your chests pressed together.

"Is that alright? Baby," he pleads, leaning his mouth down to brush against yours. He adjusts, hands roaming down your side. The silence extends, just you both panting softly as his fingers slide over your thighs. When his fingers drift, he leans to reach and secure them behind your knees. He finishes what he was saying as he draws your legs up to frame his hips. "How can I serve the lady, tonight?"

Leaning up off the cushion, you chase his mouth wordlessly, fingers fumbling for a hold on the front of his shirt. His heat seaps through both of your clothes. His mouth burns yours when he sears you with his kiss.

"I wore the skirt," you plead quietly into his mouth. Eddie's reaction is nearly violent.

His hips snap against yours and he grinds his jeans against your panties, hard. His groan threatens to rattle you. It probably would if you weren't arching and crying out at the sudden blinding pleasure.

"You did wear the skirt. Just like I asked you to. What a good girl, making such pretty noises," Eddie praises in your ear, rocking his hips into yours. It felt so good to grind your hips back against him. "You just want me to make you feel good, right?"

You nod furiously against the couch, eyes squeezed shut as he narrowly rocks his hips.

"Mmm, you deserve it."

You needed more friction; you decide as you throw your hips into his and grind hard. Your clit rubs jeans, and it makes you whimper pathetically. Completely lost to the sensation.

"I can give you my fingers," he pleads. "Or my mouth. Want me to make you feel good with that, sweetheart?"

"Kiss me, Eddie," you whisper. "Please, kiss me." He wastes no further time, this time the kisses aren't as slow, there's more fire to it. Eddie is more eager to kiss you so it's not as graceful as next to his van. Slightly sloppy, lips muffle moans as you tangle up on his couch. Continuously rolling your hips together on the couch in search of the friction.

Every kiss was getting hungrier, every thrust met with more desperation than the last as the two of your rutted against each other. The blind way you both tangled was proving to be a frustrating affair. More fire building low in your belly when you took breaks to catch your breath Eddie gasped dirty things in your ear, moaning as you felt the bulge of his cock rub against you.

"Eddie," you gasped out, tugging on his arms, "Can I please have more, please?"

He gives a stuttery groan. "Of course, pretty girl. Ask me anything just like that and I'm toast. Can't say 'no'. Like some kind of fuckin' spell." Eddie pushes himself off you much to your dismay. But your body starts shrieking in a different way when he slides your skirt higher with a naughty grin.

Your knees snap together without you thinking. You flush when he freezes and arches his brows up. "Sorry," you pant.

"Don't apologize," he responds immediately. No hesitation. His thumb rubs a soothing circle on your thigh. "Have I gone too far? Do you want me to back up?" You bite your lip and shake your head.

"No, just... don't laugh. It's just... my mom always used to say, 'Good girls keep their knees together in a skirt so no one sees up it'." Eddie's eyebrows bunch together, and he seems to think hard.

"Aren't you trying to rebel here?" He prods. "Isn't that why you snuck out to fool around with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson?" A sheepish smile spreads on your face. Slowly, you part your legs.

"As lame as it sounds, I really, really hate getting in trouble. It makes me physically sick." Eddie breaks into a grin above you.

"Are you sick to your stomach now?" You shake your head. "Good," he hums, "because you've been very, very good for me tonight." Eddie holds your gaze with his own very serious one. Like he was testing to see if that was the key.

He hit the hammer on the head. You give him another nod, an affirmation of epic proportion. Eddie's fingers move slow, mostly so he doesn't spook you. It feels so nice though. You let your eyes drift shut as his fingers slither up your bare thigh. "You're really wet," he hums letting his thumb swipe over the front of your panties as he passes. "Do you touch yourself?"

"Yes," you whimper softly.

Eddie groan stutters again. "Can I touch?"

"Please."

A finger hooks in your panties to pull them to the side. The cool air caresses you. "That's a pretty pussy," he promises, and he starts a knuckle right at the top of your seam and begins dragging it down. All of your noises up until now mostly revolve around panting, breathless little noises as you tilt your head down to watch him touch you. He looks up at you as his middle finger circles lazily around the opening to your cunt. You meet his gaze with fluttering eyes and then he sinks to the knuckle with his ring finger too and a violent moan rips out of your throat.

"Shiiiit!" You cry out, head thrown back.

"Gooood fucking girl, let me know how good I make you feel, yeah?" He pumps his fingers slowly, filthy mouth spewing. "So fuckin' wet. Listen." Around your moaning you can hear exactly what he's referring to.

You're legs shake when he curls his fingers into a spot you've never reached. "Ah! There, Eddie, right there!" He giggles to himself but abides by your request.

"Can't wait to hear you cry that on my cock. So tight, you want more? Let me give you more." A third finger nudged its way inside from the rest and your knocked flat. It's very nearly too much. Already a familiar tightening building. "Oh my god, does that feel good? Oh fuck, listen to that, baby? Has your pussy ever felt this good?" You can't even respond with anything other than pornographic moaning. Your legs shake harder when his other hand drops on the front of your pelvis, pushing you down against his rutting hand, his thumb quickly homes in on your clit and he's merciless.

You're loud. So loud it might hurt his ears, but it only takes a few short seconds of this before you're cumming harder than you ever have in your life. He gently rocks you on his fingers on your way down and as you settle like snow against his sofa, you think about the wallpaper.

It doesn't just feel like peeling. No, you set the room on fire.

"You okay, sweetheart?" You burst into weak giggles, lax against the cushions.

"Should I be concerned with how good you are at that?" He snorts into the air and leans over to kiss your neck. You sigh, tilting your head to give him better access.

"No, you should be elated that you have great taste and I'm good at it instead of leaving you high and dry." You give a breathless giggle as he rocks his erection against your leg.

"Let me return the favor?" You ask. Eddie leans back.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." Eddie chuckles over at you, eyes dilated with his lust.

"I'll never turn that down without good reason."

You slide out from under him. You were drunk on the endorphins. Eddie sits up at your prompting and then his eyes widen when you sink onto your knees. "Oh shit, for real?" He demands and when you nod, he's shucking his pants and boxers down.

It takes you a moment because for the first time in your life you are face to face with an actual erection. You had plenty of advice from Nancy. You'd seen medical depictions but this... was more than you were expecting.

You weren't expecting quite so much... you weren't expecting to like the sight so much. Especially the reddened tip that something clear was beading up with at the tip. Veined and hard, you watched it bounce of its own volition and gasped in a delighted way.

"You like that trick?"

"You can move it?"

"Yeah," he snorts.

"That's cool," a genuine laugh has Eddie tilting his head back to laugh.

"If you think my dick's cool than I cannot compl- OH FUCK! You're really going for it!" He gave a strangled moan as your darted your tongue out to taste the clear fluid at his tip. It was a curious, dirty action. One with more innocence than he knew what to do with. You try to recall the tips Nancy had mentioned when you questioned her over spring break at Steve's pool.

Go slow, try to avoid teeth. Nancy said they weren't the most fun - something you did to get them off when you didn't want to go all the way. But this, looking up through your eyelashes at him, you can't comprehend how you're not supposed to enjoy this.

Because above you is a boy absolutely falling apart at the simplest touches of your mouth. His eyes desperate as you pull the tip into the heat of you. He's shivering with it. He tastes like salt and some kind of Eddie brine. Maybe if it was more potent it wouldn't be good. Maybe if you weren't so turned on by just the sight of his red cheeks and vulnerable expression it wouldn't taste divine.

It's sealing it to you. A searing heat burning the taste of Eddie into your mouth. He lets out this loud cry, head dropping back as he babbles when your head bobs and you lave your tongue across him. His hands are fisting in the cushions. The little moan you give as you sink your mouth further around him, slurping at the drool that threatens to escape your lips has him nearly thrashing beneath you.

It sickens you in a good way. Or a very, very bad way. Good girls don't shouldn't kiss on the first date and here you are, moaning like a whore at the knees of a third time repeating senior because you love how cock tastes evidently. You want a punishment. You need it.

A hand fists into your hair. It's not tight enough to hurt, only enough for you to glance back at him. "Holy fuck, do you like that?" You hesitate but nod around his cock, careful not to clip him with any teeth. Then his head tilts back again and he mutters something you nearly don't catch.

"God is a woman."

Should that line work? No. But it scalds your skin and suddenly your ravenous for his taste. You want to see how far you can fit him in your mouth. He's babbling and whimpering under the new excitement you feel. Good girls didn't matter when Eddie Munson seemed to think that your mouth was made for sucking cock. It sure as hell felt like it when he bumped the back of your throat.

Your hands reached out to touch his balls and he jerked up with it.

"Christ! I'm gonna fuckin' cum if you don't stop!" His hand tightened in your hair, gently guiding you back and forth on his cock.

Mom always said it was rude to talk with your mouth full, but Eddie Munson certainly didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to really appreciate the way 'Please?' was muffled by his cock. He let out cry similar to how you did, spittle flying as he arched his back off the couch. His cries sounded just lovely as something hot and thick spilled into your mouth.

It was a surprising flavor, not exactly one you hated regardless. Your automatic reaction was immediate, swallowing the salt back. Pride swelling inside you. Your cunt throbs weakly, crying for more as you try to imagine what it would feel like for him to be finishing beside your womb instead of your tonsils.

He flinches as you try to pick back up again.

"Woah, woah, shit, slow down! Ohhhh, that's sensitive, baby. That's so sensitive, right now. Just spit for now, baby." He gently pushes you back from his twitching cock.

"But I already swallowed it." Eddie's eyes fly wide in shock the moment your voice breaks the air.

"You swallowed it? Fuuuck," he whines, rubbing his hands down his face.

"Was I not supposed to?" You whimper in horror, worried about some miscalculation.

"No, no, no!" Eddie quickly mends. "That was just... crazy fucking hot. So fucking hot." Then he's sliding off the couch completely and dragging you to the floor beneath him. "You did so fucking good, a complete natural."

"Really? I was good?"

"Fuckin' perfect." Relief spreads through your chest as he sinks against you, mouthing at your cheek and jaw lazily. "I'll have to pay you back next time."

Tonight, when you fall asleep in a sleeping bag in Robin's room, somewhere around three in the morning, you don't dream of Billy. It's still the same dream, but this time it's Eddie. You meet him with an eager mouth instead of terror like you did Billy. It's a sweet dream.

Everything is perfect, you think as you close your eyes. The smell of Eddie's cologne and the vague scent of the bowl he smoked in the back of the van last night was a homey scent already. Two weeks, three dates, five classes you ditched, and you were already dreading the idea of parting with Eddie for the summer.

The tender touches, the stolen glances across the cafeteria, and notes left in your locker. When you dreamed at night, you dreamed of Eddie's lips and the wallpaper burning away. Flames licking up the walls around you as you lay unburdened and rolling in heat of them.

With no real project to work on, you mostly listened to Eddie strum his electric guitar, talked about music and made out. With his uncle working second shift often, the two of you often found that the other's mouth was a welcomed feeling. It was usually filthy, and Eddie's words were usually just as filthy as Billy's had been at school. Now, when Billy muttered quiet jabs at you, you were too busy of replacing the imagery with the metalhead to be as affected by it lately.

Billy had noticed, you think. You could see the growing confusion when you weren't hiding as much as you did before. In your own little form of revenge, you took Billy's words and use them on Eddie. Tainting those words in colors of dirty sheets and pot. Of goofy smiles and carefree tomfoolery.

It felt so endless, like this was how it always had been. Your friends liked it, despite they're teasing. Liked the gossip. Steve was eager to know about your reaction when you told Nancy how good Eddie was at 'making out'. He'd heard the tone and pretended not to listen.

Tonight, you crack the window on the van in order to listen to the crickets and the buzz of neon at the gas station. You're painted with bright blue and red as you peak an eye open and watch Eddie meander the isles inside. You'd turned down the Black Sabbath tape he'd jammed into the stereo when you both decided that you could spare a trip to the gas station to get snacks after he ate you out for two hours in the back of his van instead of studying for your AP Biology final your supposed to take tomorrow.

You cross your legs in his front seat, aware of the wet leaking below due to the fact he'd stolen your underpants like a degenerate. You could see just a hint of them peeking out of his back pocket when he'd slipped into the store.

A car squeals into the parking lot when he's checking out. You don't think too much of it. You don't look to see who's climbing out of the vehicle. If you had, you'd have dipped into Eddie's back seat to avoid being spotted. But the basketball team notices you before you notice them. You freeze when Eddie trots out with a plastic bag filled with snacks. He doesn't pay them much mind as he jumps into the van. But you don't miss the gawking.

"Shit," you breathe, "we should get out of here."

"Already, ready to go again?"

"Half the basketball team just spotted us." Eddie throws you a casual shrug.

"Could be any girl hanging out with me. Definitely not you." You crack a small smile at his reassurance, and he gets ready to pull away. But you look back and your gut turns. Something not sitting right with you. The group of students in varsity gear are lingering on the edge of the sidewalk. One student with brassy curls strides towards the payphone and your left with the gnawing feeling growing in your stomach.

The ride back to his trailer is short. Like always, you glance to make sure Billy's Camero wasn't in the drive. It never was.

Unfortunately, tonight it was. Fate was plucking its strings it seemed. "Don't worry about him, he'll leave for work here soon." You glance at your friend and nod before you both climb out. "Do you want me to take you home soon?" he asks as you lead the way up his front porch.

"No," you promise him, smiling and twisting to where he stands, shorter than you for once. "Not tonight."

"You wouldn't be suggesting what I think you are," he taunts, stepping closer.

"I'm not spending the night," you laugh, leaning onto his chest. Eddie had this way of making you feel drunk on his humor. Already sinking against his arms despite the nightmare that would ensue if Billy, just two structures away, could see clear as day if he just peeked out a curtain.

"Boo, you're no fun."

"I beg to differ," you whisper, and he grins, sweeping you down to kiss him, climbing up higher and backing you towards the door slowly. You bump your back into the door frame, lips locking tenderly.

The sound of an engine in the distance catches your attention. The loudness of it growing quicker than normal. Someone hits there breaks and it makes Eddie straighten in your hold. He pulls away as a green Chevy Blazer throws dirt behind it on the way up. Although you didn't recognize the vehicle, you certainly didn't feel right about this. Both you and Eddie are slowly drifting further across the porch to watch.

"Get inside," Eddie murmurs lowly. "Go, please."

You pass him a look of disbelief. "Eddie?"

"Please."

"No," you finally affirm. Eddie gives you a big sigh of frustration.

The car squeals to a stop, raining dust and debris down around it. In the front seat is Jason Carver. The guy that your mother had once mentioned looked like a respectable young man. When you finish college, that's the boy you should search out. He didn't look so respectable right now, stumbling out of his car.

His normally slicked back hair was falling in his face. There was a look in his eyes like he was coming unhinged. "HEY, FREAK! DOES CHRISSY KNOW YOUR FUCKING A WHORE TOO!?" Your mind doesn't understand the taunt.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Jason. Get the hell out of here before you get your ass kicked." Eddie snaps.

Movement catches your eye and when you affirm that someone's trotting across, their yard, you feel sick. Billy is slinking to his vehicle, not even looking up as struts to the driver's door. Maybe you had time to still duck inside.

"Is this what you do? You sell drugs to girls, and they finally lower their standards enough to fuck you?"

"Look, I have a job. That job is to sell. Chrissy bought pot off me a couple times, you got a problem with that, talk to her." Jason stomped up the porch to mirror the position you and Eddie had been in not even sixty seconds ago on his front steps. Your heart races as Billy slides in and goes to start the engine on his Camero. But you see his smooth moments freeze as he makes eye contact with you.

It all changes in that moment, because after a whole two seconds, he's climbing right back out and marching across grass.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.

You did not foresee this going well. "Jason, go home," you demand. Both of them snap their attention to you. They get the terror of your expression and then you glance back at the guy twice either of their sizes who's nearly halfway there already.

Jason scoffs when he sees Billy, eyes glittering like something wasn't quite right in his head.

"Uh oh. It looks like the consequences of your actions are coming. See, Freak? This is why you stick to your own kind. Trash." Jason sneers.

"Get the fuck out of my face, before you taste your own blood," Eddie rumbles back.

"You're not going on that date with Chrissy."

"Date?" The word is plucked right out of your heart before you can stop it as Billy finally makes it close. He's not watching the two who are tense. It's only you.

Eddie meets your gaze, a conflicted expression. "She asked me out today." Oh. You gut twists with jealousy, but this relationship was never intended to extend past this month. The best by date blinking at you with bold lettering, just days away.

"Wait," Billy starts, scoffing, a stunningly cold look petrifying you. "I heard Munson was running around with someone. Has it been you?" he demands.

"See, the girls here are-" Billy rolls on Jason, snatching the back of his jacket to jerk him off the steps and onto the ground next to him. You gasp.

"Shut the fuck up, Carver. I didn't fucking ask you."

"Billy! Don't get violent!" You crack out, pulling his attention back to you. "There is not going to be any fighting!" Billy releases Jason's jacket and climbs the steps up to you. Eddie starts to slide between you both, but you push a hand against his arm to shove him back.

"Answer my question. Are you dating Munson?" He asks slowly. You tilt your chin up to defy Billy, feeling far less bold than you were being.

"No." Billy starts to smirk, looking like that panther all over again. The wallpaper had burned away to the studs and that sly fucking look made you want to smack him. You wanted nothing more than to knock him down a peg or two. The urge drowns you.

"But I did blow him."

The silence is deafening as Billy's smirk slips right off his face. He passes Eddie a look that's hard to read. He's thinking violent thoughts, you can see that. So, you step closer as he tries to slow his breathing.

"Uhhhh, I think that was the wrong fucking thing to say," Eddie mutters. You catch the horrified look from him at the taunt.

"All that talk," you toss to him, making those big blue eyes snap back to you, "Every. Single. Dirty jab you threw at me?" You promise, "I tried on him. I'm not just some 'Golden Girl' fantasy." Billy leans in, even on the step below you, he's at eye level. His words are even, cold.

"I'm giving you one opportunity," he starts with a near whisper. "If you do not start making your way across the park and into my car in the next minute, I'm going to pop Munson's testicles like balloons. Then you're never going to come over here again. You want someone to fuck you, you come to me, got it?"

"You know, what?" You start, squaring your shoulders and moving past him, down the steps. "Fine. But I will go celibate before I ever fuck you, Billy." Jason glowers at you. "Go home, Jason."

"What are you gonna do about it, whore?" He snaps back. Billy moves faster than you expect, in Jason's face before you can even react.

"You call her that again, see what happens?"

"She just told you she's been blowing Munson and you're defending her?" Honestly, it surprised you too. There was something about Billy in this moment that didn't scare you. It excited you in a way you'd never been. Yes, arousal, but more than that. You felt safe.

"She's mine. Regardless of what she's done, she's mine. And you insult her, you insult me." Well, that didn't seem healthy. Despite that fact, it sent blinding arousal through you.

"She'll leave you, just like Chrissy left me for him."

"Maybe because you're an impulsive dickhead." You snap. Jason leans down towards you with fury painting his eyes and you tighten your fist.

"Maybe it's because Chrissy is as big of a whore as-" Chrissy Cunningham was literally the sweetest girl you'd ever come across and the fact that Jason was running his mouth about her was more than enough to send you into a full-blown rage. Until the pain in your hand pulled you back.

That was when you realized you'd just decked Jason Carver.

He was swinging at you already and you were bracing for impact when Billy's fist sent Jason completely sideways. He looks to you, almost as if for confirmation.

"I thought you said he wasn't your boyfriend," Eddie hisses to you. Eyes huge.

"He's not." You say at the exact same time Billy snaps out the same time. You glare at each other mildly. "Oh, so you harrassing me in Spanish? That's what that is? That's some shitty dates." Billy rolls his eyes at you and you all glance down at Jason.

"Your hand. Does it hurt?" Eddie asks, moving to your side.

"My wrist," you murmur, holding up your hand for him when he reaches for you. "I didn't know punching someone hurt so bad." Billy doesn't even have to glare at Eddie to get him to give the space beside you up.

"That's because that was a shitty punch," he growls. "You let your wrist snap with it. Next time, squeeze your fist as tight as you can, it'll keep you from breaking it." Billy's fingers prod at your wrist.

"I'll grab some ice," Eddie grunts and jogs inside. You watch him go and then stare up at Billy, who's legitimately testing your wrist. You wince when he bends it too far and he stops.

"Sprained it, you'll be fine."

"Thanks," you murmur. Billy glances up at you, still furious.

"You get that ice, and we go. That's it. No more Eddie."

"He's my friend." Billy's hand sudden tunnels into your hair and he jerks your head back forcing you to look up at him.

"You don't blow your fucking friends." You had no rebuttal for that. So, silence fell over you both. When Eddie appears, you pass him a look and he passes you a hopeless one back. His apology clear on his face.

Billy snatches the ice away. "Get moving," he orders.

"Fine." There's no venom.

You just leave Jason Carver lying on the ground in front of his Blazer.

It's fifteen minutes into your lecture and the reality of the situation has sunken in. There's no way your mom won't hear about this sometime soon. You just pray it's not until next week, after you leave for camp.

You barely listen to Billy as he drives. Hell, you don't even think he knows where he's going at this point.

"I don't fucking get it," Billy sighs, dropping his hands to the steering wheel. "You've just got a thing for dirtbags, huh?:

"Excuse me?" You demand. Now that he's finally got a reaction from you, you can feel him sink his hooks in.

"Eddie a fucking dirt bag, so am I. You didn't even punch him until you heard him call Chrissy Cunningham a whore but not when he called you one."

"Chrissy didn't have anyone there to defend her."

"She also wasn't there to hear it."

"Well, Eddie is not a dirtbag and neither are you so stop it." Your words silence him finally and you lean your head back against the seat.

"What makes Eddie so fucking saintly?" He demands at last, seething again.

"He's pretty fucking good with his fingers for starters," you jab.

You lurch against the seat belt when he hits the breaks. "That's fuckin' it." He snarls and you gasp as he's fish tailing his Camero into an empty field nearby. "Get out."

You gulp, when he takes his own order and climbs out. You hesitantly follow, your shoes sinking into the softened earth slightly as you shut the door and follow him to the front of his car. "I leave in a week," you tell him. His head snaps toward you. "That's why I went out with Eddie. Because I'm eighteen and up until a few weeks ago I hadn't even kissed before! Because I'm the good girl! Always the good girl!"

Billy's right in front of you, teeth bared, eyes wild instead of dead. "My good girl," he snaps. His hands cup your face and drag you close.

"Billy," you plead, "I can't help it."

"Can't help what?" Confusion clouds those blue eyes when your vision blurs with tears.

"I want to be good so bad. I want to be a good girl but sometimes I just..." Your lip wobbles and you find yourself fisting his jean jacket. "Being a good girl. It's... it's miserable and when my mom finds out..." Your head falls back, and you take slow breaths to calm down.

"What's so miserable about being a good girl?" Billy prompts. "The good grades?"

"Because it's never enough for my mom." It's the stroking fingers that make you shutter. "It felt so good to do what I wasn't supposed to," you whimper. "I've been suffocating under everything, and I just need it!" You feel his hand drift down to pull you against him. Billy's cologne is all around you, making your head fuzzy like it always does with Eddie.

Suddenly, the tears are stopping, and the familiar pit of hunger is back. All of your worries and fears are evaporating like they always do with Eddie too. You can't think. You just feel. You feel hungry. You feel needy. You feel his pounding heart beneath your palms when you spread them across his chest, under his jacket.

"What are you doing, sweetheart? You're not getting yourself out of trouble with this." You snap back, aware that you were getting lost in those impulses all over again.

"Sorry," you say, trying to retreat. Billy frowns at your small voice. "I didn't mean... can you... can you just drop me off down the street from my house?"

Billy doesn't respond, too busy figuring out what was going on. The lightbulb comes on and he's moving you all at once to the hood of his car. "Fucking hell," is all he says before pressing his mouth to yours.

You whole body shrieks at the touch, falling right back into the impulses you were just trying to fend off. Instead of pushing at him like you were supposed to, you were dragging him into you. It was far more aggressive than it ever had been with Eddie. Billy tasted like mint toothpaste and cigarettes.

His fingers dig into your sides, as you work to pull at his jacket. He's quick to peel it off. When his hands land back on you, they're sliding up your thighs, pushing your skirt up. Your bare cunt exposed quickly as he breaks away to peek down. It makes you wonder if your panties are still in Eddie's pocket. "You..." Billy takes a deep breath to try and stablize his breathing. "Your wrong you know," he hums.

You frown at him, brain too muddled to figure it out on your own.

"Sex," he hums, "it's natural. It's not bad. It's good. Even when your bad like this," he gestures with his thumb sliding easily through your folds. "You're still a good girl," he amends. "It's why I like you so much." The air is stolen from your lungs. "Way too good for me. I'll wait for you to come back."

His tenderness sends you into full blown tears, you don't have the mind to stop as he slides down over you, slinking away. It takes you a moment before he cocks your legs further apart.

Right about one thing, you think to yourself as his lips latch to your clit, Billy Hargrove likes to use his mouth.

G+G Taglist: @music-is-all-i-need @devilcherryhot @hauntingtherosebush @simp4mullets @theelephantroom4 @dumbmarvelchick @your-local-rockstar-simp @holyfanficbooksgeek @shittypunkbarbeque @psychoticbirb @im-bout-to-pass-otutt @sameyessblue @boopmedaddy @animeboystuff @santaatemypuppy @bdudette, @slutforbillyy

@blahblahblaj, @sunandmoonchild158, @lovinthesiz3, @poisondragon, @blueberry-birdiee, @xchichikunx, @briistrash, @imabadarsebard, @j1nxwastaken, @shinypeachkitten

I think something's going on with my tag list??? Did they change something?

#grease and grunge #g+g #g+g update #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fics #stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x you #billy hargove smut #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine Ayo and Aneka developing a crush when you come to visit Wakanda

"She hates us" Ayo stated watching as you left the lab with Okoye who offered to show you around the city.

"No she hates you" Aneka corrected her lover resting a elbow on her shoulder.

Ayo turned to her with a eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"I brought her breakfast this morning and she actually invited me to join her. While she ate you know she's pretty cool" Aneka told her trying not sound like she was gloating.

"She won't let me anyhwere near her" Ayo complained with a pout.

"I wouldn't either if you judo-flipped me onto the floor the first time I saw you." Shuri said walking past both of them on her way to her workstation. The two of them had chosen to stand guard over the lab today in anticipation that you would be here hanging out with the Princess, and you had until it was time for a break. You wanted to go out to eat but didn't know a single popular spot to go to. Okoye stepped in without hesitation to show you some.

"How was I suppose to know she was one of your American friends?" Ayo defended.

"You could've asked before going all Dora on her, and throwing her to the cold hard floor then putting your spear to her throat." Shuri said pouring a liquid into a vial, but still had a smirk on her face.

"She came out of nowhere and just walked up to hug you. Its my job to protect you I was just suppose to know she wasn't a threat." Ayo protested walking over to lean back onto the work table.

Shuri's attention shifted from her experiment for a brief second as she glanced up Ayo to see the pleading on her face. You really did just let yourself in using your power to turn into a current of electricity and travel through conducting material.

"Fine I'll talk to her when she gets back, but what do you two want with her anyway?" Shuri question standing up straight her eyes flickering back and forth between both of them. There was amusement in them.

"We just find her to be interesting that's all" Ayo said with a light shrug.

"And beautiful" Aneka threw in with no shame.

"Aneka" Ayo chided her softly smacking her shoulder.

Shuri just shook her head giving both of them a playful smile. She already knew what they wanted with you, but wanted to see if they would admit it.

Hours Later

You ended up staying out with Okoye for the rest of the day considering. Shuri had some important lab work to catch up on, you were grateful she agreed to run some tests on you last minute to see. What was up with your powers lately, and why were they going haywire. You had the ability of electricity manipulation and for the longest you had full control of it. Able to generate it, teleport with it, absorb it, and shock or just electrocute people. But lately something had been going wrong whenever you would go to send a stream of electricity at someone. Your powers would just cut off short and you were afraid that. You could be possibly losing them or something.

Shuri was able to come to the conclusion that your powers were just involving, and giving you new abilities with them. You just needed to start training to figure out what they were, so you could to master them. It was a bit annoying to know you had to relearn your powers when it already took you years to master them in the first place. But at least you weren't losing them altogether.

"Are you sure you don't want a training partner?" Okoye asked.

"No you've done enough for me besides I don't want to end up shocking you. You can show me some more combat moves tomorrow though" You said.

Okoye grinned. "Are you sure last time you didn't land a single punch?"

It was true the last time you and her had a friendly sparring match. Back when she was visiting America while accompanying T'Challa on diplomatic business. You ended up kissing the mat four times, and just gave up after that.

"Hey I've been training a lot more since then, and that's why I said you can show me some moves" You reminded her.

"Alright see you tomorrow" Okoye said then walked away leaving you at the entrance to the training rooms. On her way to the lab to see if either Shuri or Queen Ramonda needed anything else. She walked past Ayo who just gave her a nod. But Okoye could tell something was eating at her second in command, and knew it probably had something to do with the way she was staring at you earlier. She gave her a teasing smirk.

Ayo was hoping that Shuri had found the time to talk to you. After all it was her who told her you would training in the gyms of the palace. She really hope she wasn't being setup to be electrocuted. When she reached the gym her ears could pick up the sound of you moving. Ayo paused at the door to watch you train.

You were attempting to construct weapons out of electricity, so far only managing a rope. It was hard to gather the electricity, solidify it, and form it into something. The closest thing you had ever done with this in the past was a lightning bolt. After Thor dared you to do it.

You could feel someone watching you from the shadow, and at first assumed it was Aneka. The beautiful woman had made it a habit of surprising you out of nowhere. She showed up today while Okoye was showing you the market. Aneka begged you to let her whisk you away for just a few minutes. You had let her and didn't have a single regret. But when you glanced over your shoulder you realized it wasn't her, instead it was Ayo the one who put you on your back earlier.

You took a deep breath knowing you had been a bit too harsh to her afterwards. Shuri called you and pleaded the Dora's case telling you that she was just technically doing her job. That if Okoye hadn't known you personally she would've done the same. You knew she was right and was a bit curious to see what she wanted with you.

"I know you're there are you coming in" You asked with a ball of electricity taking form in both of your hands.

"I hope that isn't for me" Ayo said walking into the room.

"What no" You laughed before launching it at a dummy. It soared hitting the dummy in the chest causing a small explosion that left it with a gaping hole. "I'm not pissed at you throwing me I guess I lowkey did deserve it."

"I'm sorry for that I should've waited for explanation" she apologized.

You shook your head. "Naw I should've used the front door like every other visitor."

"In that case let us start over I'm Ayo"

"Nice to meet you I'm y/n"

Ayo beamed and let her spear lean up against the wall as she kicked off her shoes. She joined you on the mat. "So I hear you had trouble pinning Okoye last time you two sparred. If you want I can show you some moves."

"Well I'm getting nowhere with my powers tonight it might help me relax." You agreed walking over to stand in front of her but pausing a few feet away with a hand held up. "You promise to go easy on me right?"

"Of course sthandwa I will always be gentle with you" she replied with a smile.

You tilted your head to the side in curiosity at what she called you. Aneka had used that term more than once with you today, and Okoye reassured you it meant nothing bad. It was quite the opposite actually, but wouldn't tell you what it meant. You made a mental note to just ask Shuri later doubting either Ayo or Aneka would tell you.

#mcu imagine #marvel imagine #aneka x ayo #aneka x reader #ayo x reader #ayo x aneka x reader #ayo imagine #aneka imagine #black panther imagine #shuri #okoye

[spaceorphan18]

Which book should I read next?

Inspired by @ckerouac - I picked out one book from each of my eight bookshelves** - one that I haven't read and that's been on my TBR list for a while. I'm letting you guys decide which one to read! Let me know what you think! And I'll read the one you pick next....

**- one of the bookshelves is dedicated to Young Reader books, and sitting on top of it are a couple of books that my bother loaned me, so I've included that instead of an actual YR title.

Info about the books under the cut

From the Fiction/Classics bookshelf: Less by Andrew Sean Greer

You are a failed novelist about to turn fifty. A wedding invitation arrives in the mail: your boyfriend of the past nine years now engaged to someone else. You can’t say yes--it would all be too awkward--and you can’t say no--it would look like defeat. On your desk are a series of half-baked literary invitations you’ve received from around the world. How do you arrange to skip town? You accept them all.

From the Graphic Novels bookshelf: Sandman by Neil Gaiman (Vol. 1)

In PRELUDES & NOCTURNES, an occultist attempting to capture Death to bargain for eternal life traps her younger brother Dream instead. After his 70 year imprisonment and eventual escape, Dream, also known as Morpheus, goes on a quest for his lost objects of power. On his arduous journey, Morpheus encounters Lucifer, John Constantine, and an all-powerful madman.

From the Sci-fi/Fantasy bookshelf: The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson

It has been centuries since the fall of the ten consecrated orders known as the Knights Radiant, but their Shardblades and Shardplate remain: mystical swords and suits of armor that transform ordinary men into near-invincible warriors. Men trade kingdoms for Shardblades. Wars were fought for them, and won by them. One such war rages on a ruined landscape called the Shattered Plains. There, Kaladin, who traded his medical apprenticeship for a spear to protect his little brother, has been reduced to slavery. In a war that makes no sense, where ten armies fight separately against a single foe, he struggles to save his men and to fathom the leaders who consider them expendable.

From the Mystery bookshelf: The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman

In a peaceful retirement village, four unlikely friends meet up once a week to investigate unsolved murders. But when a brutal killing takes place on their very doorstep, the Thursday Murder Club find themselves in the middle of their first live case. Elizabeth, Joyce, Ibrahim and Ron might be pushing eighty but they still have a few tricks up their sleeves. Can our unorthodox but brilliant gang catch the killer before it's too late?

From the Non-Fiction bookshelf: The Great Green Room by Amy Gary

The extraordinary life of the woman behind the beloved children’s classics Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny comes alive in this fascinating biography of Margaret Wise Brown. Margaret’s books have sold millions of copies all over the world, but few people know that she was at the center of a children’s book publishing revolution. Her whimsy and imagination fueled a steady stream of stories, book ideas, songs, and poems and she was renowned for her prolific writing and business savvy, as well as her stunning beauty and endless thirst for adventure.

From the Agatha Christie bookshelf: The Science of Murder by Carla Valentine

Agatha Christie is the bestselling novelist of all time, and nearly every story she ever wrote involves one―or, more commonly, several―dead bodies. And the cause of death, the motives behind violent crimes, the clues that inevitably are left behind, and the people who put the pieces together to solve the mystery invite the reader to analyze the evidence and race to find the answer before the detective does. Nearly every step of the way, Christie outlines the nuts and bolts of early 20th-century crime detection, relying on physical evidence to tell the real story behind the facades humans erect to escape detection.

From the Young Adult bookshelf: Scythe by Neal Shusterman

A world with no hunger, no disease, no war, no misery. Humanity has conquered all those things, and has even conquered death. Now scythes are the only ones who can end life—and they are commanded to do so, in order to keep the size of the population under control. Citra and Rowan are chosen to apprentice to a scythe—a role that neither wants. These teens must master the “art” of taking life, knowing that the consequence of failure could mean losing their own.

From (on top of the) Young Readers bookshelf: What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

Arthur is only in New York for the summer, but if Broadway has taught him anything, it’s that the universe can deliver a showstopping romance when you least expect it. Ben thinks the universe needs to mind its business. If the universe had his back, he wouldn’t be on his way to the post office carrying a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things. But when Arthur and Ben meet-cute at the post office, what exactly does the universe have in store for them?

#books #i actually do want to read all of these so it's win win for me #this is fun RB I should try it once a month or something #i'm going to keep reblogging this until you all vote...

[ninjagirlstar5]

Protag Teruya AU - Yuki Maeda's FTEs (Part 1)

I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Dear lord, first of all, I'm sorry I've been mostly radio silent on both of my SDRA2 projects. I was dealing with college, socializing in clubs, I got sick, got better, and then got sick AGAIN, and I've been streaming SDRA2 with my buddy on discord whenever they're available between all of that, so I have! Been! Busy!

But good news is, I've been plugging away at part one of Yuki and Protag!Teruya's FTE during my breaks slowly but surely, and now it's done! Hopefully the next updates won't take as long as before but perhaps we shouldn't get out hopes up too much. It's been a busy semester and I have no doubt it'll get busier now that I'm past the halfway point.

Anyways, are Teruya and Yuki hanging out okay? Let's find out.

AO3 Version

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!  

Fic is under read more!

Teruya watches Setsuka and Yoruko leave the U-Mart to hang out. This wouldn’t have bothered him as his own investigation of the U-Mart didn’t yield any clues, although he did get a better understanding of the area. Not to mention that he actually had a bit of fun categorizing and making a list in his head of all the supplies found in the store. It somewhat surprised Teruya that he would enjoy something as bland as this, but he was glad to learn a bit more about himself. Especially since his amnesia had left him with no clues about his own life. But he’s not surprised that Yoruko was a bit more disappointed with the lack of clues to escape the Killing Game. He can also tell that she was getting a bit bored about halfway through the investigation of the U-Mart. So Teruya understood why she’d leave as soon as she could with Setsuka, even if it’s only to take a break.

There was just…He has a hard time calling this a problem but it still left Teruya feeling very uncomfortable.

He slowly turns towards Yuki Maeda, who was also left behind despite investigating with Setsuka just mere minutes ago. Yuki catches his gaze and faces him with a raised brow. Teruya, realizing that he should probably say something, clears his throat.

“So…” Teruya starts, only realizing a few seconds too late that he had absolutely no idea where to go with this. Yuki scratches his cheek with his finger, averting his gaze.

“So.” Yuki said, but didn't add anything else. Almost like he had no idea what to say either. The thought actually gave him a little comfort, knowing that he wasn’t the only one that felt that way. “Um…So you chose the U-Mart as your first investigation?”

“Uhhh, yep.” Teruya gives him an awkward grin, trying to push down the uneasy feeling in his gut. “I didn’t really get a good look around the first time. I…It’s where I found out my amnesia was most likely permanent…” He trails off. Kokoro was the one to tell him that, but can he really trust her word for it? She’s the mastermind, after all. And yet, she’s also the Ultimate Psychologist, so that had to count for…something. Right?

“That makes sense. The U-Mart has a lot more stuff compared to the gift shop on the ship. Honestly, it feels more like a warehouse than an actual store though.” Yuki let out a sigh as if this didn’t really make sense to him. Teruya tilts his head.

“Really? It feels pretty normal to me.” Teruya looks around the store. One side of the store held food for them to pick out from, including convenience bentos that can be eaten cold or warmed up from the microwave, the middle held regular everyday and seasonal items, and the other side had tools that ranged from wrenches to drills. By the register was the alcohol, but he ignored it as he held no interest in it, especially since they were all minors. “Although, I guess if the store was a bit more specific then it would be more odd.”

“Specific…? Like, a clothing store?” Yuki curls his fist near his mouth. Teruya nods his head.

“Yeah, like…You wouldn’t find a clothing store selling food. That would be, like, false advertisement. People would only enter a clothing store for clothes, while they would go to a grocery store for food. Now, if there was a store that sells anything and everything, it’d only be natural that they would have a wide variety of supplies for the customers to search for. It’s not that uncommon…I think.” Teruya pauses. Yuki tilts his head.

“You sound like you know a lot about stores.” He points out. Teruya couldn’t deny that. If there was one thing he was certain about himself, it was definitely this. And yet, he didn’t know why he knew so much about stores. The puzzle piece was there, it’s just that he lacked so many others that there was no way he could understand what it could mean right now.

“It seems like it, haha…” Teruya said, rubbing his head. “I…uh, don’t know what that means about my life. My past life? It’s uh, a lot. It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally.” Yuki quickly goes quiet. So does Teruya and the little bit of small talk they managed to create disappears into awkward silence.

Teruya shifts on his feet.

He wants to say more.

But when he tries to think of something to say, it quickly grows into a struggle. Why? It’s not like they ever met before, at least according to Yuki. So there’s no reason to feel the way he does.

But every time he looks at him, he feels his stomach drop like he had fallen from a tall height. Something that made his chest tighten as his stomach twists and turns. It was a wariness that felt too damn familiar for him to ignore, but Yuki would only stare at him in pure ignorance.

Yuki didn’t know anything.

And with Teruya’s amnesia, he didn’t know anything either.

Which only made these feelings not only confusing but frustrating.

He wanted to talk to him more than anything else but he also didn’t because he doesn’t deserve his attention.

“Um…Teruya?” A small voice reaches his ears, bringing him out of his thoughts. Teruya blinks before focusing his gaze back on Yuki. How long had he zoned out? Hopefully not too long. That would only make things much more awkward between them. “Can we…investigate together?”

“Huh?” Teruya feels floored. And perhaps, a lot more anxious than he appeared to be. He points to himself. “Me? You, uh, want to investigate with me?”

“Yeah! If, uh, that’s okay with you.” Yuki said, giving him a smile. A smile that was stabbing needles into his heart, even as it swells with joy.

“Uh, sure! I don’t mind.” Teruya smiled back as it strains against his cheeks.

He minds. He minds a lot.

“Great. So…where do you want to go?” Yuki asked, adjusting his tie. Teruya pauses before scratching the back of his head.

“To be honest, I already had a…pretty decent investigation of the island with Mikado when we first woke up here. But I barely know anything about the Monocruise.” Teruya then shrugs. “Yoruko brought me outside while I was looking around my room. I didn’t pay much attention to it since I was pretty tired last night.”

“You must’ve spent a lot of energy looking after Mikado.” Yuki said before a smile grew on his face. “You’re really kind for doing that, Teruya.”

“O-Oh, um, thank you.” Teruya felt himself smile more genuinely, a little bashful at the praise. “Just…doing what I need to do.”

“Yeah…um…” Yuki then points to the doors. “Why don’t we make our way back to the Monocruise then? I’ll guide you around and then we can loop back to the entrance when we’re done.”

“Sounds good to me.” Teruya nods and the two of them leave the U-Mart without another word.

Yuki leads the way back to the Monocruise and the two of them are mostly silent as they walk. It was still a little awkward between the two of them, but once they were inside, they immediately focused on trying to investigate the Monocruise. In the hallways were a couple of grandfather clocks but none of them were working, the restrooms, bookshelves filled with books that Teruya didn’t have much interest in, and huge chandeliers that hung from the ceiling precariously. He can only hope that they don’t fall. But what did grab Teruya’s attention almost immediately was the large, double stone door that was to the right of the staircase. But when he tried to enter it, it was completely locked and Yuki explained that “Big Bro,” a.k.a. Shinji, had already tried to brute force it and it didn’t work. In the end, they decided to leave it be for now since there’s nothing they can do about it. At least, not without the risk of breaking one of the school rules.

On the first floor of the Monocruise, there was the infirmary that Teruya had already become familiar with due to taking care of Mikado in it for an entire day, but also a workout room with various equipment, including huge dumbbells, punching bags, and treadmills. There was also a ping-pong table to play, well, ping-pong, a cleaning supplies closet in case there was a spill, a large basket filled with sports balls for the basketball hoops hanging on the walls, and a nearby trash can. There was also a storage room that Teruya had to resist the urge to organize and memorize every bit of supplies and sundries left around inside, and simply said that they should leave this for another time since all of the miscellaneous stuff would take forever to sift through even with the both of them together. Yuki agreed and they left the storage room alone. The auditorium was a bit more of a sad excuse as there was a lot of space in it but nothing else aside from a clock that told the time, a piano sitting next to a desk for someone to speak from and chairs piled up on top of each other by the walls. They stopped by the dining hall to check if there was anything they could’ve missed, but it had mostly stayed the same since they were last there. The large table where they ate their meals together was still where it was left, with the chandelier hanging nearby, and shelves filled with various utensils and cups. Teruya had found some crow cards lying about in those shelves, but otherwise there was nothing useful to be gained by sticking around the dining hall. The kitchen was also attached to the dining hall, fully repaired after Mikado’s poor attempt at cooking nearly destroyed it in a fire. It looked like a fancy cooking station you’d find at a restaurant while still feeling like something you’d find in any other house in the real world. They left the kitchen untouched as well, as neither of them were hungry enough to make something for brunch.

The second floor hallway was pretty identical to the first floor in layout, minus the doorway to the left of the staircase. There were plenty of grandfather clocks and chandeliers, with doors leading to the game room, library, bathhouse, and laundry room. All of which he hadn’t checked out for himself yet.

But the one thing that caught both of their attention pretty quickly was a door almost hidden away in the corner. Unlike most doors, it was metallic with a keypad serving as it’s lock. And to top it off, there was a minigun attached in the corner and aiming directly at the door.

Out of everything they’ve seen so far, this is definitely the most suspicious thing yet.

And yet, neither Teruya or Yuki took a step closer to the door.

“…Do you want to check it?” Teruya asked, making these the first few words he had said in a while. Yuki’s jaw drops as he gapes at him.

“No way! What if I do something wrong and that minigun goes off??” Yuki points at said weapon. “I’ll be turned into Swiss cheese!” Teruya couldn’t help but snort and cringe at the same time.

“Y-Yeah…that wouldn’t be good at all.” Teruya agreed but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the door. Yuki sighs.

“We all tried to think of ways to enter the room, but…none of us has the guts to try the keypad. Not with that minigun silently threatening us with death.” Yuki shudders as he adjusts his tie. “It wouldn’t be a good idea anyways. We don’t have any hints on what the passcode could be, so the effort would just be useless.”

“I think that’s a wise decision. I don’t want you guys to get hurt when our chances are so low.” Still, that door is going to bother him for as long as he's aware that it's here. Teruya forces himself to turn away. "Let's just check out the rest of the floor."

"Ah, right." Yuki doesn't say anything else, leaving the both of them in awkward silence once more.

Teruya almost wanted to say something.

But his mind was blank, so he kept his mouth shut.

The library was, naturally, filled up with books, with the shelves lined up against the walls. The bathhouse has cabinets for changing, a cleaning supply closet, a clock, shower stalls, and, of course, a large hot tub to relax in. Now wasn't the time to take a bath, though, and they left without bringing up the idea of having a shared bath. You know, to deepen their bonds as friends.

He did find some money in the bathtub, though.

("...Who left their card here??")

("I don't know, but it's mine now!")

("You're…surprisingly greedy.")

("Hey, you can't live without money, you know!")

("...Unfortunately, you're right.")

The laundry room was probably the most normal room there was on the Monocruise, being of decent size with a few washing machines and dryers to accommodate everyone on the Monocruise. The game room, though, was everything a minor should steer clear from for their age: roulette tables that reminded Teruya of casinos, slot machines that pour out coins when you manage to line up three of the same images, and a shelf behind the counter that held plenty of alcohol of different types. Teruya can’t help but grimace at the amount of games that are just begging to give someone a gambling addiction.

“I can’t believe there’s a room like this here. Isn’t this supposed to be a school field trip for high schoolers?” Teruya questioned, absently running his hand along a nearby pool table. It was clearly of high quality and he had a feeling that Setsuka would love spending her time here if she hasn’t already.

“Honestly, I’d agree with you if this was a normal school trip.” Yuki said before a random note of a piano key being hit was heard. Teruya turns the corner to see his fellow student nearby the piano, testing it out if only to distract himself. He closes his eyes with a sigh. “But this is the School Trip of Mutual Killing. Nothing about this has been normal since we got here.” He then pauses before furrowing his brow. “Besides, Hope’s Peak Academy did invite the Ultimate Gambler before. Stuff like this on a Hope’s Peak school trip would probably be normal since they would want to see the Ultimate Gambler in action.”

“…That would actually make a lot more sense.” Teruya scratches his forehead. If Hope’s Peak Academy was more than willing to invite students that had more…questionable talents, then of course they’d have the resources to help support and nurture them as well. Hell, they had Yoruko, who was the Ultimate Hostess, and Syobai, the Ultimate Broker. While Yoruko’s talent is a lot more innocuous compared to the literal criminal, she was still breaking the law by lying about her age to work in an age-restricted job. And yet, they were still willing to take both of them. Albeit they had to blackmail Yoruko to agree to come. Syobai…he’s not certain about his reasons for why he chose to come, or if he was also blackmailed, but either way, he was here as well. “…Still, none of us are the Ultimate Gambler so I don’t know why we have this room.”

“Yeah, it kinda just…exists. It’s not as if we can’t have fun here and we don’t really have any money to make any bets anyway…unless you count the Crow Cards.” Yuki then pulls away from the piano, smiling as he points to a set of double doors. “But, hey. At least there’s a gift shop here.”

“Oh yeah! Monocrow mentioned the gift shop before.” Teruya said, lighting up at the mention. He raises his hands as his body automatically moves towards the door without another thought. “So it’s here? What’s in the shop?”

“Well…about anything you can find at a tourist shop, I think. With some…odd stuff mixed in.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek with his finger. Teruya pauses upon grabbing the handle, turning to direct his raised eyebrow at Yuki. The student simply shrugs as he smiles awkwardly. “I think you’ll understand once you see it.”

“Alright…” Despite acknowledging the strange comment, it didn’t stop the feeling of excitement rising in his gut. Teruya tugs on the handle and the door slides open, revealing what was inside.

And his heart nearly lept in joy.

Inside were rows and rows of shelves filled with all sorts of supplies of different varieties. Art supplies, notebooks, snacks…you name it, the gift shop probably has it. It was decently large for the amount of goods it had in store, and even had a register counter by the front to pay for the supplies, although no one was there to man it. Teruya almost wondered if someone had tried to shoplift from the gift shop but he quickly shoots that idea down in his head. With the existence of Crow Cards, Monocrow would clearly want that currency to be used throughout this school trip. And while there was no repercussions from taking anything from the U-Mart, it may be because the mart was on the island since it was founded and would have convenience goods that wouldn’t be out of place for its store. The gift shop, on the other hand, was a part of the Monocruise, and is under Monocrow’s jurisdiction. If Monocrow wants them to pay for the goods in the gift shop, he will make them even if he has to threaten them with punishment.

Not that Teruya found himself caring.

He was just…so excited and comforted at the sight of the shop.

He doesn’t know or understand why he’s reacting the way he is now. It was just a shop, after all. One that you can probably find anywhere in the world, as long as the concept of currency or even bartering existed. A place where you can find goods that range from daily necessities to snacks to entertainment to unnecessary knickknacks and decorations.

But, Teruya didn’t care.

It made him happy to be here. And for once, he allowed himself this moment to bask in it, regardless of the circumstances that surrounded him.

“Oh…Oh my god…!” The words slipped out of Teruya’s mouth without thinking about how he looked. He just runs over to the nearest aisle, unable to keep himself from bouncing off of his heels as he goes. The aisle seems to be where the toys are, and he grabbed a rainbow spring toy off the shelf to let it hang from his hand. Yuki, who seemed to have followed him inside, watches as the amnesiac played with the toy in his hand. “Yuki! Yuki, look at this! There’s so much to look at!”

“I-I can see that, Teruya.” Yuki laughs like he was unable to comprehend what he was seeing before him. “Geez, you look like a kid exploring a new place for the first time.”

“I mean, technically, it is a place I haven’t been to before.” Teruya tosses the spring toy back to its little basket. Not a single bit of his memories have come back to him yet, but that didn’t mean he was going to push away this sense of comfort. He walks over to Yuki and wraps an arm around him. Yuki blinks in surprise at the closeness and Teruya was too distracted by his own joy to take note of the uncomfortable tightness in his chest. He points as he speaks. “But there’s loads of stuff you can get here! There’s shampoo and conditioner in that aisle, snacks over there, some stationary supplies and…” He falters when his eyes land on something he feels like he shouldn’t be seeing so out in the open. “Is…Is that bondage gear?”

“Yeeep.” Yuki closes his eyes with a grimace. “Like I said before, there’s some odd stuff.”

“I, why is there bondage gear here!??” Teruya scrunched up his face, pulling Yuki closer to him. “We’re…We’re minors! And this is a school trip, I…What the hell??”

“Let’s, uh, just ignore it! We’re here to investigate, not, uh, get distracted by weird stuff.” Yuki suggests, taking his arm off of his shoulder. Teruya ignores the jab of disappointment upon the lack of contact but he gets over it pretty quickly.

“Right, right. Let’s just…avoid that aisle then and look around.” Teruya agrees, deciding that it was best to move on unless he wished to waste any more time. He heads to the back of the room and finds two other oddities in the shop. One was a vending machine that was half black and half white, like it was shaped in Monocrow’s image and he instantly didn’t like it. The other was the rows of arcade games that ranged from Pac-Man (shaped like, again, Monocrow) and a dancing game that wasn’t Dance Dance Revelution, but definitely similar where you have to time your steps to the beat of the song. He approached the games with curiosity, and Yuki almost instantly appeared by his side like he was also interested in the arcade. “Huh…Why do you think this is here? It’d fit more in the game room itself.”

Yuki opens his mouth to make a suggestion but—

“Allow me to answer that question.”

They couldn’t help it.

They screamed, jumping into each other’s arms as the person — no, that damn thing called Monocrow — suddenly pops out of nowhere in front of the arcade cabinets. The minute they realized who it was, their fear was immediately replaced with disdain.

“You — You son of a bitch!” Teruya snaps, nearly swatting Monocrow off of the cabinet. He squawks indignantly, flapping his wings as if to make himself bigger.

“Hey, hey! Violence against your teacher is against the school rules!” Monocrow says, reminding Teruya that he was on thinner ice than he liked. Yuki scowls at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You’re not our teacher! You’re a part of the mastermind’s scheme!!” Yuki yells as he clenched his fists. Monocrow sighs, lowering his head.

“Both can be true, you know…” The crow then shakes his head. “But nevermind that. I will let go of your near violation since the hit didn’t land. But you best not risk that again, Mr. Otori.” Teruya grimaces but slowly nods his head. He shouldn’t put his life in danger for something as stupid as breaking a school rule. Especially one that can easily be avoided. “Anyways, you’re curious about these arcade machines, are you not?”

“I mean…yeah.” Teruya admits and slowly nods his head. Yuki lowers his hands but he was watching Monocrow warily. Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets. “Why are they in the shop instead of the game room?”

“Well, to put it simply, I thought having these games in here would be more convenient for you all.” Monocrow said, raising his head. Yuki frowns.

“Convenient?” Yuki adjusts his tie and Monocrow nods before rubbing his wing against his beak.

“Indeed. You see, not only did I hide Crow Cards all around the island and Monocruise, I’ve installed these games to reward you!” Monocrow spreads out his wings, almost as if he was proud of himself. Teruya didn’t understand what he meant by that until Yuki’s eyes go wide.

“Wait…Are you saying that these arcade machines can give us Crow Cards?” Yuki cranes his neck at the machines and Teruya does a double take. Arcade games that give out free money? Even with his amnesia, this feels like a first for him.

“Absolutely! I know not all of you are willing to go on a scavenger hunt for the Crow Cards I’ve hidden throughout the island, even though I encourage investigation…But I couldn’t just leave my students penniless! Consider this as an…alternative way to gain money. To an extent of course.” Monocrow nods his head at the cabinets. Teruya managed to catch his last words and frowns.

“‘To an extent?’ What do you mean by that?” Teruya raised an eyebrow at the bird. Monocrow simply huffs, turning his beak up at him. Which would’ve been funny with how small he is compared him, but the amnesiac only found it annoying.

“I mean that you all only have a limited amount of tries for the games. I can’t just let you get rich so easily by spending all of your hours playing games!” Monocrow flaps his wings at Teruya again. “Each student has about three tickets on their e-handbook+, and regardless of which games you play, the cabinets were made to keep track of the amount of tickets you have. In other words, you can’t spend three tickets on Crow-Man and then try to spend three more tickets on DanceRush Stardom.”

“Please tell me that’s not your version of PAC-Man.” Yuki asked, despite already knowing the answer just by looking at the arcade machine in question.

“Regardless, the tickets will be replenished by the end of the week, and you’ll only get enough Crow Cards according to your high score.” Monocrow said, completely ignoring Yuki’s words. The student narrows his eyes at the bird but sighs, completely giving up on the topic.

“So, basically…” Teruya frowns as he tries his best to understand Monocrow’s words. “If you get a good score, you’ll get plenty of cash. However, if you sucked at the game and get a bad score, you won’t get much and end up wasting your time.”

“Precisely!” Monocrow blushed (somehow), speaking almost cheerily at Teruya’s words. Teruya wasn’t sure if he should be proud of himself or disturbed that Monocrow was praising him at all. “So do choose your games wisely! There’s nothing wrong with having too much cash, after all.”

“I…see.” Teruya eyes the arcade cabinets before him. Now that Monocrow explained what their purpose was, it made more sense to have them inside the store than the game room. While the game room was literally one door away, having the one and only arcade games that give out money inside the store made sense if you want your customers to spend their money there. After all, you can’t forget to spend your money when you’re literally inside the store. And if you want a specific item but don’t have enough cash, you can just walk over to a game right then and there and play a round in the hopes of getting a decent score that would reward you. Teruya brings his gaze towards the black and white vending machine and points to it. He might as well gather as much information that he can squeeze out of Monocrow while he’s here. “What about that one?”

“Oh, that’s the Monocrow Machine I mentioned before.” Monocrow lowers his wings and turns towards the vending machine in question. “For five-hundred Crows, you can get any item from the gift shop for cheap, however, it is completely randomized and based on luck. So you’ll have to hope you’ll get what you wanted. But who knows? Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get some special gifts.”

“Special gifts? What kind?” Yuki looks over the Monocrow Machine, more curious than anything else now.

“That, I will let you find out on your own.” Monocrow brushes his wing against his beak. “If that is all the questions you have, I shall be taking my leave.”

“…You wouldn’t give us a reason on why this killing game is happening anyway, would you?” Teruya muttered as his gut twists. Monocrow chuckles, only confirming his suspicions.

“Is despair simply not a good enough reason for you?” And before Teruya could tell him ‘no, it isn’t,’ Monocrow disappears behind one of the machines and is gone. He knew the moment he left his sight that there was no point in trying to chase down the stupid bird to grill him for answers. It would just be a waste of time anyways.

“Well…I think that’s all we can get from the gift shop, right, Yuki?” Teruya said, turning to his classmate. Just in time to see Yuki pull on the lever of the Monocrow Machine. He gapes. “Wha — Yuki!”

“Huh?” Yuki jumps at the sudden call of his name. He turns away from the machine with wide eyes. “What??”

“Why are you using the machine?? You don’t need to use it when you can just buy what you need here, right?” Teruya gestures to the shelves with all the goods that were in plain sight. Yuki winces but frowns.

“I mean, you’re right…but, if you can get anything from the machine for just five-hundred Crows, that’s actually really cheap and some of the stuff here can be really expensive.” Yuki said, scratching his cheek as if he was embarrassed. Teruya frowned before glancing at the nearest price tag, which just so happened to be for a Playrotation4 and…

Oh.

That’s actually pretty steep.

Even Teruya, who had been scavenging every nook and cranny to find Crow Cards, didn’t have enough Crows to buy it right off the shelf.

“…Okay, I can see your point — wait a minute!” Teruya whirls around when a realization hits him and he points at the game station. “Why would anyone spend money on a Playrotation4?? It’s not like we need something like this and we’re in the middle of a killing game! We shouldn’t get ourselves distracted by stuff like this.”

“A-And you’re right! It’s just…just…” Yuki hesitates, mumbling something under his breath. Teruya raises an eyebrow at him but remains patient as he tugs on his tie nervously. “Sorry…I just…I can't concentrate on the killing game all the time. When I do, I…I get really, really scared. And then I remember how Syobai nearly stabbed me, and start thinking that anyone might be willing to do that, and then it just…just spirals from there. You know?”

“Ah…” That…actually makes sense. It’d be natural to suspect that everyone was out to get each other. Especially since one person already tried to take a life, even without hearing all the rules. How can Yuki not be paranoid? Teruya feels himself soften up as he presses his hand against his chest. “I think I understand. It is a dangerous situation, and you could’ve gotten hurt.”

“Yeah…Which is why I’m glad you were there, Teruya.” Yuki smiles at him, almost stopping Teruya’s heart as it clenched tightly. “If you hadn’t intervened, I might not be standing here right now. Even if you could’ve gotten hurt in my place…”

“O-Oh, it’s…it’s no problem.” Teruya forced himself to smile. “I…I mean, anyone would do that if they weren’t frozen in shock. Hell, I bet Shinji would’ve done everything in his power to protect you if he wasn’t carrying Mikado at the time.”

“Haha, y-yeah, I bet he would.” Yuki chuckles as he closes his eyes, scratching his cheek. The Monocrow Machine goes off and something clatters into the drop-off box, but neither of them paid much attention to it right now. He sighs, the smile falling off of his face. “I’m…grateful that you did that for me. But I also wished you didn’t have to. You could’ve gotten hurt in my place.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You, You’re worth protecting.” Teruya ignored the way he stuttered on his last words. He means it, he really does.

So why was it so hard to say it out loud?

“Mmm…Still…I wish I can repay you back. You deserve something in return for protecting someone like me. And protecting Yoruko, too.” Yuki slumps over and Teruya can’t help but feel surprised at the sight. He didn’t think Yuki had such a low opinion of himself. Sure, he was an ordinary student that got into Hope’s Peak Academy through a lottery, but he had still made it, didn’t he? Teruya didn’t even know his own talent or his past thanks to his amnesia, and the few clues he had were small things that barely told a full story. He didn’t know himself, but at least Yuki knew who he was.

Right?

…He should try to cheer him up. Maybe…

“…Maybe you should take me out for lunch?” Teruya suggested before he could doubt himself again. Yuki lifts his head, opening his eyes wide with surprise. The amnesiac just gave him a shrug. “You won’t stop expressing your gratitude to me, even though I’ve already accepted it. Sooo, if you want to do something more, you can just take me to your favorite place to eat and we can call it even. Once we get out of here, of course.”

“Teruya…” Yuki said, almost like he was in awe. Teruya tried not to shift. It’s not like getting lunch with someone else was anything weird or noteworthy. It’s something people do all the time. Yuki then smiles. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Huh? Really?” There it was again, that surprise. An emotion that only lasted for a moment, but it was there.

“Yeah. There’s actually a really good ramen shop near my house. I’ll take you there, alright?” Yuki said, almost like he was happy at the thought. Teruya…wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He thought for sure Yuki would have turned him down. But he returns the smile, feeling more genuine this time around.

“Then it’s a promise.” Teruya then gestures to the Monocrow Machine, trying to keep up this nonchalant air about him. There’s no need to make a big deal about it. “What did you get?”

“Oh…! Right, uh…” Yuki turns towards the machine, kneeling down to grab his item from the drop-box. The minute he pulled it out, Teruya felt his heart leap at the sight. It was a spray bottle, one with a black cover that made the rainbow stand out in contrast. Yuki furrows his brow. “Oh, it’s just a spray bottle…”

“It is, isn’t it??” Teruya couldn’t stop the excitement that leaked into his voice. Yuki gapes at him as he hovers right over his shoulder. “D-Do you mind if I see it? Just for a second! I’ll give it right back!”

“Uh, sure. Go nuts.” Yuki gives up the spray bottle pretty quickly, letting Teruya snatch it right out of his hand. He takes a moment to marvel at it, rubbing his thumb along the rainbow colors of the spray bottle. He then lifts it up, keeping the button angled away from him before pressing down on it.

A beautiful spray of rainbows comes out and Teruya grins from ear to ear.

“Good golly! This…This thang is the real deal! Look at this color here, Yuki! It’s so vibrant!” Teruya said, spraying the color out a few times to emphasize his point. Yuki laughs, albeit awkwardly and perhaps a little confused.

“Wow, uh…what’s with that sudden accent?” Yuki asked, and Teruya raised an eyebrow at him.

“What accent?” He said, completely missing the way his accent had changed in his excitement.

“…Nevermind. It’s not important.” Yuki is quick to drop the topic and Teruya wasn’t interested in pursuing it anyways. He looks down at the spray bottle in his hand, almost reluctant in giving it back even though it would be going against his word. The student stares at him before smiling. “You can keep it if you want?”

“Really?!” Teruya can feel his eyes shining as he raises his head. “Y-Ya sayin’ I can have it?! For free?!” And when Yuki nods his head, Teruya tosses his arms around his classmate before he could think better of it and starts jumping up and down. “Thanks, Yuki! You have no idea how happy I am about this!”

“I-I’m glad you’re happy, Teruya…” Yuki said, although his voice was a bit muffled due to having his face buried into Teruya’s chest. Before he can complain about it, though, the amnesiac lets him go and starts putting away his precious gift. The student sighs and straightens his posture. “I think that’s everything we can investigate from this place. Right?”

“Mmm…I think so?” Teruya looks back at the aisles, thinking over what he saw and had been told. “…Even with just a glimpse, I can tell that this spray bottle isn’t in stock.”

“Huh…Is that what Monocrow meant when he said you can get special gifts from the machine?” Yuki asked, curling his hand near his chin. Teruya frowned.

“That sounds like a gacha system.” Teruya said, before approaching the machine to test that theory out for himself. With just a quick examination of how it works, all Teruya had to do was swipe his handbook over the scanner to use the Crow Card function, and then pull the level. After some loud scattering sounds inside the machine, it rings as it drops its prize into the drop-off box. He kneels down and pulls out…another mineral water bottle. Which he can get anywhere else, even at the U-Mart. The disappointment was palpable. “It is a gacha system.”

“You sound so disappointed.” Yuki deadpans, which only prompts Teruya to tighten his fists.

“Of course I am! It’s a money sink that relies purely on luck for the one thing you desire. A system that practically encourages gambling in exchange for a single item you may not even get. And even if you don’t mind having the common items, you’ll run out of space eventually if you’re aiming for the ‘best’ prize. You’ll need some good goddamn luck to get what you want in your first few pulls, otherwise you’ll just be wasting money you could be spending on something else.” Teruya huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I worry about the customers' wallet sometimes.”

“Wow, you’re…surprisingly passionate about this.” Yuki points out, surprised at his sudden rant.

“Of course I am. How can people spend money if they’re spending too much of it on this one thing that isn’t guaranteed to give them what they want. Not to mention the kind of repercussions a gambling addiction can have on someone’s life…” Teruya trails off.

Why…is he so passionate over something like this? It’s not as if it’s his business on how much money people spend on something they want, right? But…what if they need that money for something they need? Like, food, water, clothes…If they spend it all on a prize that may not have much use of, how can they support themselves?

…Teruya decided to simply chalk it up to human decency. No one in their right mind would want someone to end up with an addiction of any kind. 

“Well…whatever. Here, you can have this, Yuki.” Teruya said, raising the water bottle up to his classmate. Yuki blinks his eyes before his hand hovers over the drink.

“Are you sure? I think this is mineral water.”

“Yeah, I already got one back at the U-Mart.” There was no point in having two when he hadn't even opened the first one yet. That seemed to encourage Yuki to take the water bottle from him with a smile.

“Thanks, Teruya. I was feeling a little parched from all the talking.” Yuki immediately opens the bottle to take a sip from it. Teruya brings his attention back to the Monocrow Machine, frowns, before swiping his handbook over the scanner again. Yuki sputters on his drink. “Y-You’re using the Monocrow Machine again?”

“Yep.” Teruya pulls the lever down. “…You said you wanted the Playrotation4, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I do, but…you don't have to go out of your way to get one. Especially when you don’t like the Monocrow Machine. And like you said before, I don’t really need it…” Yuki tries to get him to back out of the idea but Teruya just smiles at him.

“Because you said that you can’t concentrate on the killing game twenty-four seven, right? When you do, you get scared and paranoid…That’s not good when we’re in a killing game.” Teruya kept his tone gentle and tried not to sound overbearing in the process. “If playing games helps distract you from your thoughts and keep you calm, I don’t see why you shouldn’t have it. Besides, I wanna get you something and I don’t have enough Crow Cards right now to buy it off the shelf.”

“But…” 

“No buts! I’m getting you that Playrotation4, I swear it.” Teruya wags his finger at Yuki and he starts to crack a smile again.

It was then that the Monocrow Machine started to act out.

It rings, signaling that the prize had fallen into the drop-box, but then it shakes and rattles violently. Teruya and Yuki both jumped at the sounds as it felt as though something was going to go wrong. But, nothing else happens and the Monocrow Machine goes silent again.

Teruya didn’t take another step forward. He only turned to Yuki with a paling face.

“…It didn’t break…right?” Teruya asked nervously. After all, it was against the rules to break school property, and that would include the Monocrow Machine, right?

“Uh…” Yuki looks around. Even when a minute passes, no one shows up and he shrugs. “I think you’re fine. Monocrow hasn’t popped out of nowhere yet, so…”

“I-In that case, I should grab my prize before anything else happens.” Teruya leans over and reaches into the drop-box. However, when he grabs a hold of its thin, seemingly rectangular frame, its side hit the opening of the drop-box and couldn’t be slid out. Teruya frowns, trying to pull it out again but even when he tries to tilt it at a different angle or wiggle it out, the results are the same. “Shit. I think it’s stuck. Hey, Yuki, can you keep the flap open for me?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Yuki kneels down beside him and Teruya scoots over to give him a bit more space. After what felt like more than five minutes of wiggling, adjusting, and a little bit of cussing over the prize, they finally manage to slide it out of the opening.

And Teruya nearly drops it when he sees it.

It was a portrait of a young man, probably — no, definitely their age and staring straight at them in boredom. His hair was a mess and his tie was undone along with the collar of his button-up, but he knew this face.

He knew it was Yuki Maeda.

Yuki Maeda, who he should know.

Yuki Maeda, who was his classmate.

Yuki Maeda, who was his friend.

And Yuki Maeda was standing before him, bored as he felt himself sink to his knees. Hearing the words he was saying but struggling to comprehend it all.

To deny it all.

And yet, he kept talking.

He kept talking about a truth he was desperate to deny.

“—your money. So, your friends’ deaths? They’re all your fault.”

And Teruya Otori felt himself sink.

Teruya.

Teruya.

“Teruya!”

Teruya blinked.

He stares at Yuki, who has started to shake him by his shoulders.

“Teruya! Finally!” Yuki sighs, as if he was relieved. Why? “You looked so pale and stopped responding to me when I tried to talk to you. Are you okay?”

Okay? How was he okay?

“…It’s you.” The words slip from his mouth numbly. Yuki blinks at him and Teruya’s gaze slowly goes back to the portrait that laid between them. “That’s you in the portrait.”

“Ah, the portrait…” Yuki let’s go, finally. He stares down at the portrait and visibly shudders. “I mean, it’s really uncanny. I won’t deny that. But…”

He frowns.

And then looks Teruya straight in the eye.

“But that’s not me.”

….It’s not?

“Uh, yeah. It’s not.” Yuki said, almost pouting now. Teruya swallows as he realizes that he had said that out loud. “I’ve never had myself painted before, so it couldn’t be me. I mean, I’m pretty sure the guy is wearing my school’s uniform but…” His frown became deeper as Teruya kept staring at him. “Look, maybe it’d be easier for you to believe me if you compare me to the guy in the picture.”

“Uh…” Teruya tried to come up with something to say. To tell Yuki that no, that really is him in the portrait. That this repulsive person looked too much like him to deny it.

But, he couldn’t say it.

Not when his heart ached so much in a way he couldn’t describe.

And when Yuki carefully props the painting beside him so Teruya can better compare their looks, he slowly realizes that he was right.

The differences were subtle. Sure, when you ignore the bored expression and messy appearance, they still looked similar enough to be mistaken for each other. But when you actively compare them side by side, it'd be hard not to notice those subtle differences. The one in the painting had much tanner skin in comparison to Yuki’s obviously paler complexion, along with dark brown eyes and a rounder facial structure. The Yuki Maeda sitting before him has lighter brown eyes and a slightly sharper face. Even their ginger hair was different, as the man in the portrait had a darker shade that leaned more towards yellow while Yuki’s was brighter and more red. And to top it all off…

“...He’s missing your ahoge.” Teruya noticed out loud, almost dumbly. Yuki blinked, looked back at the portrait, and then started to pout again.

“That’s the most important thing you noticed?” Yuki said, clearly exasperated. The tone of voice actually got Teruya to chuckle, feeling the tension slowly seep out from his shoulders as he sagged. It was still there, but he started to feel…a bit more like himself. A bit more ingrained in reality now.

“Sorry, sorry. It was just the first words I thought to say.” Teruya felt himself smile a little bit as Yuki’s pout only got stronger.

“Seriously…? It’s not my fault that this is the only cowlick I can’t get rid of.” Yuki muttered, even though Teruya could still hear him. It was obvious that the ahoge is a bit of an insecurity with the way he kept brushing his hand over it the minute it was brought up.

“If it’s any consolation, I think it’s cool. It makes you stand out.” Teruya reaches over and flicks the ahoge with his finger. Yuki swats his hand away.

“Stop that! I sometimes spend an hour trying to get rid of it. Don’t you do the same??” Yuki points at the tall ahoge Teruya sported himself. Teruya felt a smile grow on his face, even though it was definitely an awkward one.

“...Actually, I have to use hair gel to get my hair like this.” He admits sheepishly. Yuki’s stare quickly becomes incredulous.

“...You do it on purpose?!” Yuki gaped at him with those wide eyes again, and Teruya finally laughed. The student huffs before pushing the portrait into his space. “W-Whatever, just take your prize already!”

“Alright, alright!” Teruya takes the portrait from Yuki, still chuckling over his classmate’s overreaction. Yuki rubs his cheeks as if to forcefully get rid of the smile that Teruya had caught a glimpse of before going back to a neutral expression. Teruya looks down at the portrait, his smile falling off of his face as the man stared back at him. “...He feels familiar.”

“Well, he does look like me. It’s really eerie.” Yuki mutters as he closes his eyes and a sweat drop forms on his cheek. Teruya frowns.

“No, I mean…” Teruya tightens his grip on the portrait. “I think I knew this guy.”

“...Oh!” Yuki opens his eyes in surprise. “Did you remember something?? What is it?”

“I…don’t know.” Teruya lays the portrait on his lap. He stares at his bored eyes and wishes he could wipe that damn look off of his face. “...I think I hate him.”

“...Oh.” Yuki deflates upon the realization that it wasn’t a happy memory. If Teruya could even call it a memory. It was more of a gut feeling than anything else. He sighs. “Well…Not everything in your life is gonna be sunshine and rainbows.”

“I guess…” Teruya hesitates, his eyes darting between the portrait and Yuki. He swallows and takes the plunge. “Yuki. Are you…sure we have never met before?”

Yuki was silent.

And for once, his eyes were really scrutinizing him. Like he was actually trying to figure out if he had seen him before or not.

But he slowly shakes his head.

“No. We’ve never met personally.” Yuki said, before looking down and curling his hand near his chin. “…Sorry.”

“Oh…” What else could he say to that? It’s not like he can just tell Yuki that he’s a liar. He’s not the one with amnesia. Teruya was. And he doesn’t have any evidence that would contradict this.

Aside from the very heavy feeling on his tongue every time he speaks his name.

But besides that, he can only take him at his word right now.

“…Okay. Sorry that I keep bothering you over this.” Teruya said, even though this probably isn’t something he had to apologize for. Yuki gives him a small smile.

“H-Hey, you don’t have to apologize over that. I wish I could do more for you but alas…” Yuki waves his hands placatingly as he trails off. He then drops them into his lap. “Anyway, should we keep investigating the Monocruise?”

“Hm…” Teruya thinks it over his head, wondering if he should keep investigating with Yuki. But then he takes his eyes off of him, sees it — or rather, her — and thinks better of it. “Actually, I think that’s all we can do on the Monocruise. We explored everything we could…at least, not without spending hours going through every nook and cranny in the storage room. And the next two floors are for the dormitories, so I’m sure everyone explored their rooms to the best of their ability.”

“That’s true…There’s nothing else up there other than the bathrooms.” Yuki said, scratching his finger at his cheek. He then stands up, sending Teruya a smile. “Then, I guess I’ll go investigate somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna stay here for a couple more minutes. Maybe stop by the storage room later.” Teruya nods his head towards the exit of the store. “I’ll see you around, Yuki.”

“See ya, Teruya.” Yuki then turns to leave the store, sees her, and tries to ignore her as he leaves. Teruya watches him go until he disappears, and then brings his attention back to the portrait.

…He could throw it out.

No one would be able to stop him if it did.

And it was technically his, so he had the right to do whatever he wanted with the portrait.

But…it’d be a waste for him to do that.

He just spent five-hundred Crows for this prize. Even if he didn’t like it, he should at least find some sort of use for it. Or just give it away to someone that may like it. Maybe Iroha or Emma would take better care of it than him.

Even if his heart tugged in a way he had trouble explaining.

Teruya manages to put the portrait into his backpack, and clasp it back closed, hefting it back onto his shoulders with a grunt. His eyes rove over the items in the store, lingering on the pens and journals in the school supplies section. Something that he considers buying right this second. But eventually, he turns back to the Monocrow Machine and pays the necessary Crows again. He felt a bit of shame in playing into the gacha ploy. But even he couldn’t resist the idea of getting those rare items.

And Teruya did swear he’ll get Yuki that Playrotation4 somehow. He just has to be careful with how much he spends on the Monocrow Machine.

At least hanging out with Yuki wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be.

He just can’t shake off this uncomfortable deja vu he’d been feeling this whole time.

…Or the drone that has been watching his every move since his investigation of the U-Mart.

Your relationship rank with Yuki Maeda has risen from 0 to 1!

Yuki Maeda’s information has been recorded in the e-Handbook+’s profile page.

#SDRA2 #Super Danganronpa Another 2 #Protag Teruya AU #Teruya Otori #Yuki Maeda #SDRA2 Spoilers #here comes the boooooys!

[xsweetelegantdisasterx]

I posted 92 times in 2022

That's 82 more posts than 2021!

17 posts created (18%)

75 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@umbralhelwolf

@mythicwonderland

@kpopcrossworlds

@drunk-on-hwa

@xsweetelegantdisasterx

I tagged 71 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#ateez - 13 posts

#the rampage from exile tribe - 13 posts

#ldh - 12 posts

#he can catch these tiny hands of fury - 12 posts

#the rampage - 11 posts

#but im jonghos trash can 🗑 - 11 posts

#life ruiner - 8 posts

#ateez jongho - 8 posts

#he's so beautiful - 8 posts

#bias - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 62 characters

#have grace like a giraffe on rollerskates normally so bring it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My Rant-ish post:

I'm really late on the High and Low Bandwagon but I saw the error of my ways and I am attempting to right my wrong. (LISTEN I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SERIES FOR THE PAST MONTHS, I JUST SPREAD OUT THE MOVIES BY ALOT.)

*I've also been a fan of LDH for a while now*

Who isn't righting their wrong tho you ask?

Every. Single. Sword. Member. Yes I Said it.

Also, my attraction to Ranmaru had me wanting to rub my face on the concrete.

He was kinda terrifying which is not good for my heart. 😲

See the full post

6 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#4

Well hell. I'm finally done with the first chapter. It was getting long, and I honestly feel like Kaisei deserves a multi-chapter story ♡ because he's Kaisei, and deserves the world.

So, here is the first chapter:

Pairing: You & Kaisei (Rampage from Exile Tribe)

Genre: Mostly Fluff

Streaming:

Chapter 1: A series of events.

You pulled outfits against your body in the mirror. One of your school friends invited you out with her friends. Usually you were snuggled up in bed, trying to catch that new episode of your favorite show. Tonight, you were trying something new. You even looked at your gaming console to ensure that it wasn't him, it was you. You would be back and y'all would be reunited afterwards to stream for your followers. Gaming was a huge hobby of yours. After all, you had been doing it since you were younger. Breaking the stigma that only guys kicked ass at games, you made it a goal nightly to silence any male chauvinist you met with.

With one shoe on and another off, you completed the task of dolling yourself up.

Geeze, if I didn't know any better, I was a makeup artist in another life.

Final preparations happened as you heard knocking, expecting her. To your knowledge, it was supposed to be just you two, but you noticed unfamiliar faces. Stepping aside you let the others in.

“Sorry, they invited me, and I asked if you could come.”

“No that's fine-"

“What's this strange setup?”

You were interrupted by the taller one. She turned her nose up at your gaming layout.

“Oh, I'm a streamer. I play games and record for others to watch.” You proudly showed off your new console.

“That's dumb, are you a child?” She scoffed at your statement.

You bit your tongue. If this was any indication of how your night was going to go, you weren't impressed. One thing you had to constantly tell yourself was that you were going for your friend, not her.

“Actually, I'm very successful. Gaming is a stress relief for me, and I enjoy it so I don't have to defend myself to you.”

You grabbed your clutch ready to go. This girl was extra mouthy and reminded you why you never went anywhere. At the club they chose to go with, there was a line already that wrapped around the block. From the street, you could tell it was going to be near impossible to enter, but whatever. The bouncer was in full flirt mode with the bitchy one. When he raised the rope, you felt a small sense of relief, before he pulled it down in front of you.

“I'm with them, what are you doing?”

You were clearly past annoyed at this point. You tried to catch the group but they ignored your yelling.

“I didn't see them conversing with you.”

“Ah, I get it. I do, do you normally discriminate like this?”

“I let the pretty ones in no problem. You'll get your turn squirt.”

This guy was the type you dealt with everyday. Your turn looked grim, until you saw the opportunity to sneak in with another group of patrons.

Prick. I’d 1v1 you right now if I was around a console to knock that arrogant attitude of yours down a notch.

You finally entered trying to catch up with the others. When you looked around, you noticed them by the bar. Clasping the clutch tighter, you marched over to the group you were supposed to be with. Again, they did nothing but ignore you to gawk at a couple of guys. You rolled your eyes so hard, you had to lower the intensity lest your eyes were in danger of falling out.

“Thanks for waiting for me ladies.”

“Oh you got in,” the mouthy one started up.

“Surprising right?” You matched her attitude.

See the full post

6 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#3

Little Snippets of writing:

Who: You & Kamiya Kenta {The RAMPAGE From EXILE TRIBE}

Midnight Snack

You stood in the kitchen readying your stomach to be filled with delicious brownies. It wasn't uncommon for you to get bit by the midnight snack bug. Everyone knew this, especially your roommate Kenta. As you pulled the brownies out, you got excited, wanting to dive in quickly. The aroma was enough to send your stomach into devour mode.

Kenta was more than likely sleeping from practicing all day, so this was a solo adventure. That didn't keep you from knocking on his door.

Over the course of the weeks, you found yourself crushing on your best friend. There really wasn’t any explanation other than he was your glove. He was the one you wanted to be with. Lightly knocking on the door, he grunted.

“Kenta, I know you just laid down and got comfortable, but I made these brownies.”

“What is wrong?”

“I don’t want to eat them by myself. I just want your company.”

Kenta, without ever opening his eyes, drew back his covers as he patted the empty spot next to him, signaling for you to climb in bed. You smiled big as you climbed next to him. He wrapped his arm around your waist, resting his head on your lap, as you dove into the brownies. With a brownie in one hand and a plate in the other, your free range was limited. There was no possible way to eat two brownies while holding the plate. Suddenly, you looked down as a brilliant idea crossed that mind of yours. You lightly placed the plate on his head, provoking him in a fit of laughter, and a big ass smile to cross your lips.

“Am I your table too?” Kenta muttered in his sleepy voice.

“You’re definitely my table at the moment. Listen, I usually have two brownies, one for each hand. I needed to free up space, hence where your head comes in handy.”

He cuddled you closer as you ate in solace.

12 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

#2

100 DEGREES

I swear this song is the secret to a long, healthy life span. Their stage presence is 💯💥

But the question is:

ARE YOU SLEEPING ON MY MANS, AND NOT IN YOUR BEDS AT NIGHT?

If you answered yes to any of that question, then we need to have a meeting. When you're ready to talk about my lord and savior

Kawamura Kazuma, or any of the 15 other guys that take space up in my heart, my inbox is always ready.

14 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Would I beckon at his every call?

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I WOULD. 💋

See the full post

24 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[eyebrowpunk]

Calliope’s streams are great because half the time she looks and sounds like she’s being hunted.

#I wonder what it is that Death has to fear #have to admit Calli didn't make much of an impression on me at first #probably because rap is Not My Thing and also she doesn't stream quite as much as the others #but I've been catching more of her streams lately and it turns out she's actually hilarious and I've been missing out #Calliope Mori #hololive #vtubers

[sadomas0chist]

perfect strangers

MINORS DNI // 18+

part one; part two; part three

genre: nsfw // fluff

pairings: jean kirschtein x female reader

word count: 4k

tags/warnings: slow burn (?), penetrative sex, dom jean, praising kink, slight breeding kink, oral sex (male receiving), fluff, confessions, cute jean (yes this needs a warning) cheesiness.

synopsis: you discover something jean has been keeping for himself and it ends up adding all the puzzle pieces together.

a.n: i don’t usually add songs for you to listen to while reading my work, but if you want to get in the mood stream Last Days Of Summer by Summer Walker. thank me later.

i would also like to add that this was meant to be a short series. i got other fan-fiction ideas and need to answer some of your requests. also, i know this part is kind of cheesy but jean is a big softie i can’t help it.

“Connie, what’s taking you so long?” I yelled from our porch, swirling my car keys around my finger. I heard more shuffling coming from our apartment before Connie rushed out, Jean following him, throwing his hoodie on, covering the shirt that was squeezing his muscles.

“I was looking for my dab pen,” he took a hit and blew the smoke in my face. I coughed pushing his shoulder making him miss the step and almost colliding with the ground. I snickered and walked past Jean to my car door before he grabbed my arm and pushed me back.

“Passenger seat babe.” he looked down at me with his lazy smile. I scoffed swatting his arm away, only to be lifted from the ground. “Jean you prick!” I yelled moving my legs around.

“And I’m the kid.” Connie laughed getting in the backseat, clearly not suspicious of his homie’s behavior. I sighed getting into the passenger seat and crossed my arms.

Jean mirrored my action, before cussing, as he felt squeezed by how tiny the space was. “Damn aren’t you a small thing?” he teased backing up the seat so he could feel more comfortable. He smacked my thigh making my eyes widen. I looked down to see him holding out his hand, motioning me to give him the keys. I rolled my eyes and slammed them down his hand. He chuckled before shaking his head and mumbled something underneath his breath.

He wrapped his arm around my seat, tilting his head backward, putting the car in reverse, and slowly drove back. He winked at me before he shifted gears. The car ride was basically Connie singing out loud to songs and Jean casually joining in, their interaction reminding me of Hitch and I.

After what happened last night, I texted the girls’ group chat and told them everything that happened and how Jean was suddenly becoming more and more possessive which was honestly uncalled for. If I want to overthink it, he was always somewhat flirtier with me than he was with any girl when we used to hang out back in the day. However, Sasha and Mikasa didn’t elaborate much into it as they told me to shrug it off, whilst Hitch was rather excited about me having a ‘sneaky link’.

And honestly, I’d be lying if I said he didn’t turn me on… I mean look at him. He’s at least 6 feet tall with sexy sleeve tattoos and a gorgeous mullet. His stubble fit him perfectly and his jaw was sharp. He looked so different and delicious.

“We’re here!” Connie shouted into my ear, shaking me off of my thoughts. Jean had already parked and was taking his seatbelt off. I followed his gesture and got out of the car, carefully closing the door behind me, Connie already outside taking a few hits of his dab pen. Our gaze locked, his lips instantly forming into a smile as he threw his arm around my shoulders and brought my head closer to his lips, kissing my temple. I grinned wrapping my hand around his torso and leaned my head on his shoulder.

I was lucky to have a brother like him. He always made sure I was okay and had everything I need and wanted. He was my support system and I couldn’t ask for more. “All good?” he mumbled, tilting his slightly towards Jean who was typing something on his phone, probably waiting for us before going into the diner.

I nodded and he squeezed my arm. “Come on, let’s go inside, the weather is chilly today.” Jean held the door open as we walked in and spotted an empty table. It was connected to a couch, two other chairs placed on the opposite side of the table.

I sat on the couch, my back relaxing into the soft red leather, before feeling the seat dip next to me. I tilted my head, only to be met with Jean’s cocky expression. Connie managed to sit on one of the chairs and tapped his fingers on the wooden table. “Y’all in the mood for burger and fries?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking starving,” Jean stated leaning back into his seat, spreading his legs. I nodded and took out my phone from my pocket setting it on the table. We called over for the waitress and placed our orders. “I forgot to ask you, how are your studies going y/n?” he added, dropping his head on his fist that rested against the wood and looked at me. Connie rested his elbows on the table, intrigued by the conversation.

“I’m doing good actually. I still have some things to get done and I’ll finally have some free time for myself. I honestly can’t wait until I’m done with this semester. It’s so tough and for what.” I whined, dropping my head against my crossed arms. His hand wrapped around my shoulder and pushed me towards him, my head colliding with his chest. Taken off guard, my arms wrapped around his torso. “Aw, come on you’ll do great, you got nothing to worry about.” he patted my head and gently stroked my hair. I blushed at his move, my stomach forming a knot. He was being extremely soft and gentle and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't surprising.

“Here you go.” the waitress cheered placing our food down. She eyed Jean before averting her gaze from him as he pushed me closer to him, my head closer to his chest. I breathed into his cologne and managed to hear his heartbeat. Fast. His heart was beating so fucking fast.

Connie didn’t seem to mind as he laughed at his phone before turning it to Jean, showing him the picture of a half-naked model showing off her ass, a man who looked to be her boyfriend standing next to her. “Baldie I’m still here.” I scrunched my face. “Although the dude is kinda hot,” I added. Once the following words left my lips, Jean’s hand swiftly moved down my ass to grab it, making me slightly jump. I looked up to see him glaring down at me then looked back at Connie’s phone. Did this just happen?

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” He cocked his eyebrow making Connie roll his eyes. “Man you used to like it when I showed you pictures like that." he shook his head locking his phone. He stayed silent for a few seconds before pointing at Jean with a big grin. "Oh my god, you are seeing someone!” he whispered.

I removed myself from Jean’s grasp and adjusted my clothes as I dived into my food, enjoying the warm feeling down my throat. “Nah dude, although I must admit that I've been thinking nonstop about someone lately,” he confessed taking a bite of his burger, Connie doing vulgar movements with his hands before he did the same.

“Jesus Connie,” I whined throwing a fried potato at him. “We’re eating.”

“Um, excuse me?” He scoffed as Jean laughed, muttering a small 'here we go', obviously aware of what my brother was about to say next. “The Jean Kirschtein I know doesn’t catch feelings. This dude is a damn sex machine. Which I can relate to but you know what I’m saying." he raised his hands up. "Now tell me, who got you so wrapped around their fingers you can’t even flirt with other women now?” He paused before adding, “ And don’t think I forgot how you pushed off that girl who tried to grind on you two days ago at the club.” I frowned, all of this not making any sense to me. How could he be sleeping with me but seeing someone else at the same time?

I felt sick, my fingers dropping the sauce I was about to pour on my fries as I excused myself to the bathroom. I made my way into the small area and looked at my reflection. I felt dirty. I felt used. Was I going to wreck a whole relationship? Or whatever he calls it.

The door swung open minutes after, revealing Jean. He had a serious expression on his face as he approached me, my ass now pressed against the sink, his tall frame towering me.

“Why’d you leave?” he questioned moving my hair from my face, cupping my cheeks. “I wanted to wash my hands,” I replied trying to free myself from his grasp but miserably failed. I frowned as I tried to push him away again, but his hands grabbed my wrists holding them down. “I don’t believe you, I think you got jealous,” he smirked, his lips inches away from mine. I glared at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction he was seeking.

“Jean let me go. Someone might walk in and Connie is waiting for us outside, also, the food won’t stay hot for long and I want to-“

“I was talking about you silly.” he interrupted me, his thumb now rubbing my bottom lip. “You’re so fucking gorgeous it’s unreal,” he mumbled. “Can I kiss you?”

What was happening… I stared into his eyes that were focusing on my lips. Could he be telling the truth? What if he just wants to get in my- oh wait, he already did… Fuck that was so overwhelming.

“Jean I don’t think it’s a good idea-“

“Yes or no?” I thought for a moment before softly nodding. “I need to hear it.”

“I want you to kiss me…” I whispered almost as if I didn’t want anyone to hear me, including him. I’ve always felt different around Jean and I never knew why, at least until now. He smiled lifting my head up with his finger under my chin, his lips resting against mine gently. My hands gripped onto his hoodie, kissing him with much passion.

I felt safe. I felt good. I felt content.

“You got my heart working overtime, y/n.” he confessed. I wasn’t able to process everything as it all felt like a fever dream. What if I just wake up and it turns out to be a dream. Did he just confess that he likes me in a diner’s restroom? My heart was beating so fast, my thoughts furiously rushing through my brain.

After Jean left to study in France, we never kept in touch. It is true that we used to be friends because of his friendship with Connie and it always felt different from my other friendships with other men like Eren or Reiner, but the distance and the lack of communication turned us into strangers and killed the ‘connection’ that was bonding us. I thought it was just a tiny teenage crush, but ever since he came back, everything returned to the way it used to be.

“Connie is probably getting worried about me.” I said making him let go of my grasp, his eyes still holding the same expression as before. I made my way out of the restrooms and slid my hands into my pockets. “Hey, I was about to follow you, you good?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled at him and sat back down taking small bites of my food.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me about anything right?” he took a sip of his soda looking at me worryingly. “Of course, I’m fine really.” I reached out to squeeze his hand. A few minutes went by and Jean was back on the table with us. We jumped from a conversation to another, casually laughing as we brought back the old days.

Connie proposed to drive back and we didn’t mind since we both fell full from the food. Jean sat in the passenger seat as I lead down on the backseat, texting the girls every single detail of what happened today. It didn’t take them long to start bombarding me with replies.

‘Holy fuck he said what now? He’s fucking WHIPPED.’

‘I did hear him saying something about a girl when we hung out with Connie four days ago but I would have never thought that it would be about you…’

Seriously Sasha? I sighed and locked my phone dropping it on my chest. It didn’t take us long to arrive at the apartment we were now sharing with him.

***

I dropped on my bed, stripped down naked as my blanket was the only material covering me. I thought about what Jean told me back in that diner. I sighed closing my eyes. As I was almost about to fall asleep, my phone chimed on my nightstand.

I reached out to grab it, the message showing on my lock-screen making me open wildly my eyes.

-jean

you up? if you are, can i come into ur room?

I hesitated, my fingers hovering over my keyboard, occasionally typing something then deleting it.

-me

why? wassup?

It didn’t take him long to text me back.

-jean

i can’t sleep and i want to talk to you

I sighed typing a simple ‘okay’ and got up to put a shirt on. I heard a light knock on my door as I slid on the fabric, my hand reaching out to turn the doorknob.

“Hi,” I stepped aside, indicating him to come in before carefully closing the door. He sat on my bed and tapped on the mattress. I sat next to him and waited for him to talk about whatever he’s been wanting to get off his chest.

“About what I said earlier, uhm,” he cleared his throat.

“If you’re here to say that you didn’t mean it, you could have said it over text.” I assumed raising my eyebrow. It wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened to me and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with any bullshit, especially after getting my feelings mixed up. If he was about to mess around, I should do the same and ignore whatever I was feeling, hoping it would fade away over time.

“No, why would I do that?” he frowned and looked at me weirdly. Oh well, spoke too soon I guess. “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Listen y/n,” he paused searching for the words. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing this to get laid. We made an agreement and if I just wanted to have sex with you I wouldn’t have said anything about well, liking you.”

I stayed silent waiting for him to finish. The moonlight was the only source of light in the room as it peeked through my window. It was quite peaceful. “I think, no, I know I’ve liked you for a while. I never acted on it because your brother once threatened me jokingly about messing me up if I hurt you, and regarding the person I used to be, I would have most probably ended up hurting you and because of that, I decided to sleep on whatever I was feeling and hoped I'd move on from it. But holy fuck you and grew into such a smart and beautiful woman, I couldn’t help but let my feelings for you emerge again.” He cupped my cheek with his hand bringing me closer.

Fucking hell someone pinch me right now, I must be dreaming.

“However if you don’t like me back, or don’t want to hook up with me anymore, I’d totally understand.” I stared at him as I felt like I was looking at a different person. Now I get why Connie was so surprised when he heard Jean talking like that back at the diner. That wasn’t the Jean I was used to, or at least the Jean he became when he left for college. I wasn’t familiar with this new character development if I might call it.

“Why… why are you telling me all of this now?” I whispered, shifting in my seat to sit closer to him, our knees slightly brushing against each other. He brought his hand around the nape of my neck and pulled me closer to him. “You got my mind going crazy.” and with that, I pressed my lips against his, instantly feeling his lips kiss me back.

I straddled his lap and slid my tongue between his lips, our kiss sloppy and slow. His hands moved down to grip my ass, pushing me further to him, my bare cunt brushing against the soft fabric of his shorts. A moan escaped my lips as he gripped the hem of my shirt, lifting it, my nipples exposed to the chilly air. "Wait..." I pulled away and rested my hands on his chest. "We're gonna have to tell Connie."

He smiled and reached out to kiss me again. "First thing tomorrow. I don't think your brother is that oblivious anyway." he chuckled and squeezed my hips. I laughed, bringing his face closer to mine kissing him gently.

Our make-out session became more urgent ad rushed. Jean lied back, his hands resting on my waist as I took off my shirt. His hands reached out to grab my breast, fondling it with his big hand. My hips moved against him, the feeling of wanting to be filled by him becoming unshakeable. Removing myself off his hips, I crawled down and pulled down his sweats along with his briefs, his erection slapping against his stomach. I smirked at him as I began pumping his length, soft groans escaping his lips. I swirled my tongue over his tip and slit before sliding him down my throat, coating him with my spit. "Shit," his hips bucked forward, his cock going deeper down my throat. I started bobbing my head, my tongue running over his underside, feeling the pulsation of his prominent vein. Our eyes locked, his mouth agape and his chest slightly rising from his deep breathing. His hand fell on his eyes as he threw his head back, his fat cock now throbbing.

“Y/n, ah, fuck-“ he hissed grabbing a fistful of my hair and guided my head. I knew he was close and it made me wet as well. My fingers were already rubbing circles on my sensitive bud, my climax as close as his. I removed his dick from my mouth and straddled his lap. I aligned him to my entrance and slowly sunk onto him, sighs leaving both of our lips.

He felt insanely deep within me, his size stretching perfectly. I rested my hands on his chest as I ground on him, his hand lacing around my neck to bring me closer to him, his lips capturing mine in a passionate kiss. His tongue slipped in my mouth as his hand made their way to my ass, squeezing my cheeks and moving me upwards. I moaned into his mouth, my nipples brushing against his chest. I sat back up, my hands prompted back on his chest as I bounced my ass on him.

“Ride my cock baby just like that.” he moaned out. We were both already close to our orgasm, the sensitivity sending us off the edge. “You ride me so good, but-“ he sat up pushing me off him. “I want to fuck it in you,” he smirked pulling me off the bed and walking me to the wall, my back pressed against it. He wrapped his arms underneath my thighs and lifted me up, my legs snaking around him.

“Now stay quiet while I stuff you eh?” he breathed, pushing his tip inside me before thrusting his hips forward, almost hitting my cervix. My face hid in the crook of his neck, doing my best to silence my moans. My back moved against the cold wall, his whimpers and moans growing louder in my ear.

I shut my eyes close when he began rolling his hips faster, my orgasm rushing through my body. “Jean…” I whimpered tugging on his hair, my heels digging in his back. My arm was wrapped underneath his, my fingers scratching his back. I clenched around him making him hiss and fuck me harder, indicating that he was also close to reaching his climax.

“You wanna come with me?” I nodded staring at him with half-lidded eyes. “Yeah…” I mumbled out, biting down on my lower lip to keep quiet. “Yeah?” he mocked with a smirk before he started kissing my neck, occasionally leaving small bites next to my collarbone.

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, my thighs shaking as my orgasm ripped through me. He quickly followed ropes of cum shooting inside me. He whimpered, stroking himself a little bit more before pulling out and carefully putting me down. As soon as my feet touched the floor, his semen began leaking out of my opening down my leg.

“Well shit better clean that.” he ran his fingers up my legs before pushing his cum back in me making me gasp. “You’re good now,” he smirked before lifting me off again, this time in bridal style as he walked me to the bed, carefully putting me down. “I would’ve loved to shower with you,” he stroked my cheek, his body hovering over me. “But I don’t want your brother walking in on us like that. At least not before I tell him everything.” he poked my nose before kissing my forehead.

I nodded my head, smiling at him. “I like you so fucking much,” he admitted once again, this time his lips kissing mine.

“I like you too.” he cocked an eyebrow at my confession. “I knew it,” he whispered and kissed my cheek.

***

“Uhh, back the fuck up.” Connie pointed at Jean who was wrapping his arm around me in the kitchen. “You two like each other?” he waved his finger between us before stuffing his fork in his mouth again. I nodded and pushed myself closer to Jean. “Oh no.” he groaned pushing himself off his stool.

“No no no no no…” he repeated in annoyance as he walked past us. I frowned, turning to see him throwing himself on the couch. He threw his head back, another groan leaving his lips as he ran his hands us his face.

“I thought you’d be happy for me, what’s-“

“You had sex while I was in here?” he accused us dramatically in a high-pitched voice, faking his tears. Jean instantly laughed at his friend’s accusation. I let out a sigh of relief and shook my head before laughing at Connie who was fake gagging.

“We only did it the night you saw us together.” I played off. Connie gave me a ‘you think I’m stupid’ look and sighed.

“It was an everyday thing.” Jean corrected making me elbow his waist. He winced pinching my hip earning another hit. “Seriously man?” Connie whined. I mean, at least he wasn’t mad about us liking each other. The only thing that irked him, which is by the way overdramatized and ends up being one of his silly plays, is the fact that I had sex with him when he was sound asleep.

Connie sighed, his annoyed expression turning into a sly one. “I knew you two were fucking!” he laughed sticking his tongue out and clapping his hands. “Now that I’m positive that my sister got cuffed by someone I trust, I can finally sleep in peace.” I rolled my eyes before raising my hand to smack him but Jean pulled me closer to him making it impossible for me to move.

I looked up only to be met with his browns orbs already looking down at me with pure adoration. I could tell he was going to be one of the best things that have ever happened to me and I couldn’t be more thankful. Connie was still talking but I didn’t hear a word he said. Instead, I buried my face into his red hoodie and held him tightly. Who would have thought that my insignificant crush would actually make me feel so lucky?

“-she was and still is everything I’ve always wanted.” I heard him say before kissing my forehead.

#aot fandom #aot x reader #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein #jean x reader #aot smut #jean kirschtein scenarios #jean kirschtein smut #jean kirschtein x you #jean kirschtien #jean smut #jean x reader smut #aot headcanons #aot x reader smut #jean kirschtein fanfiction #jean x you #aot anime #attack on titan smut #snk fanfiction #snk imagines #snk smut #short series #aot series

[wlwmarvelenthusiast]

Turn Your Luck

Summary: After a day filled with bad luck and a series of unfortunate events, Natasha manages to turn your day around

Pairing: Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: None

Words: 6,167

When you woke up in the morning and smacked your big toe off your bed frame, you didn't even think twice of it. It sent a jolt all throughout your foot, but after a few swear words, you were already feeling a little better. You didn't bother making the bed you'd just stood up out of. All your life you'd reasoned that it wouldn't be 24 hours before you just messed it up again. You grabbed a towel and moved into the bathroom. The hot shower made you forget all about the sore toe you'd been sporting only a moment earlier.

You were feeling great when you stepped out of the shower. The warm water had always instilled comfort into your very bones even this early in the morning. You wiped some of the condensation off the mirror to brush your teeth. The tube of toothpaste was completely empty, and the drawer where you usually kept the new ones was also barren. You rolled your eyes at your own irresponsibility, before brushing your teeth without any toothpaste and then using some mouthwash to try and compensate for it. You stepped out of the bathroom.

You got dressed in your favourite white shirt and black pants before making your way into the kitchen. You tossed your phone onto the counter as you passed it on the way to the small kitchen table. You were after the fruit bowl, which was already needing a refill. There were still a few apples left, though, and you were expecting to have one for breakfast. You were mistaken. You pulled the empire apple out of the blue bowl to find the bottom had grown immensely soft and was clearly not in any condition to be eaten. You were disappointed but tossed it into the compost bin and moved on.

Humming a soft tune as you moved, you popped a pod into the single-serve coffee maker and pressed start. You were moving toward the fridge in no time when a strange noise caught your attention. You whirled to face the coffee maker. Instead of the steady stream of coffee you usually got, it was spraying the hot liquid like it was a shaken pop can. You jumped behind the small island, using it as a shield. Thankfully, you'd managed to keep your white shirt safe from the wrath of the coffee. When it stopped, you finally dared step back into the kitchen. The dark liquid was dripping down every nearby surface. You huffed, running some paper towel across the biggest surfaces quickly.

You gave up on the coffee. It seemed you weren't going to get it anyway. You glared at the machine as if it had intentionally smitten you. Instead, you reached into the fridge instead and poured a glass of orange juice for yourself. You sipped it before setting it back onto the countertop. When your phone buzzed and indicated an incoming message, you reached for it. Your elbow hit your glass and it fell onto its side. The orange liquid spilled off the counter and into your white shirt. You gave the mess the middle finger, tossing a dishtowel on it to soak it up, with the intention of actually cleaning it after work. You already had to clean the coffee up anyway.

Any attempt at breakfast was abandoned. After the three kitchen incidents combined, you were convinced you'd be better off heading to some drive-thru on the way to work. Now in a new blue shirt, you grabbed your bag and headed out your front door. You unlocked your car, slid into the driver's seat, and hit the ignition. The car sputtered for a few seconds, before refusing to start. You tried again, and then again, before groaning, taking out your frustration on the steering wheel in front of you. You stood up and stepped back out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind you with much more force than necessary.

Then, it was off to the bus stop. You headed down the sidewalk to the nearest one, pulling out your phone as you walked so you could check your app to find out when the next bus was coming. When you saw big red letters informing you that the bus was halted until further notice, though, you had to refrain from throwing your phone hard into the concrete. You supposed you should have had a little sympathy for those in the accident that had halted your bus, but you couldn't find it in yourself right then. Your morning was not going well.

It was a good thing you hadn't smashed your phone against the sidewalk. It was the only thing you could use to get you to work now. You switched apps and ordered an Uber to come to pick you up. When the driver arrived, you climbed into the back seat and gave him the address of your place of work. He nodded and pressed his foot down on the gas. Your eyes had been glued on your phone, but your gaze flickered at the driver's movement. He was adjusting the mirror and you were absolutely sure he'd angled it to face you a little better. You could have puked when you realized the creep was checking you out. You didn't say anything, at this point just wanting to get to work and be done with it.

You practically sprinted into the building when you arrived. Security didn't seem to mind your rush, having seen your face every day for over three years anyway. You hopped up the stairs two at a time, faster than the elevator would have been able to carry you anyway. When you reached the meeting room door you took a few seconds to catch your breath, not wanting to seem too flustered in your professional environment. When you finally pushed the door open, everyone was rising to their feet. Their eyes all darted up to glance at you. You smiled sheepishly.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." That was honest. You might have been frustrated, but you hadn't wanted to inconvenience any of your coworkers as well. "I've really had a rough morning."

Your boss nodded. "We've all had those days. I'll send you an email and give you a summary."

You thanked him and left the meeting room with everyone else. You trudged into your office, throwing your bag to the floor, and refraining from slamming the door behind you. You collapsed into your office chair and closed your eyes for a brief moment. But you didn't have time for that. The paperwork on your desk needed your attention. You gave it. The hours you spent on all the files, emails, and documents were the smoothest thing that had happened all day, even if it was mind-numbingly boring and felt absolutely endless. It might have been smooth sailing, but it didn't brighten your spirits at all.

When your phone rang, you reached out blindly until you felt your hand come in contact with it. You shuffled it until it was upright in your hand. You were so completely absorbed in the document that was displayed on your computer screen that you didn't even bother to look at your phone as you fumbled to slide the answer bar. Only when the incessant ringing had finally ceased did you know you'd successfully answered the call. You hesitated before you slowly raised the phone to your ear, eyes still scanning the lines in front of you.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hun."

Immediately you regretted not checking the caller ID before answering the phone. You could have kicked yourself. In fact, the move was so ridiculously and incredibly stupid that you could have beaten yourself to a pulp. The voice on the other end of the line was familiar, completely unwelcome, and not a surprise after having the day that you were having. You turned away from the screen, resting your elbow on the desk and massaging the migraine that was beginning to form in your forehead. You sighed heavily, sure she heard it.

"Hi," you stated. "What?"

"Hun-"

"Please stop calling me that, I already asked you."

You had asked her that. Multiple times. You'd broken up months ago after she'd broken your heart. Catching her in bed with someone else had left you shattered and unsure if you could trust anyone. You'd been okay for a couple months now after some comfort and reassurance from your best friend, who you were having dinner with tonight. You glanced at the time. Your attention was unfortunately brought back to the girl on the phone, though, when she sighed your name as if she were the one who was hurt. She had no right to be hurt.

"I just-"

"I'm working," you finally said bluntly. "Is it urgent?"

"No. No, I'm sorry. I... I can call you tomorrow."

You wanted to snap and tell her not to bother, but you didn't. You just nodded despite her not being able to see it, said goodbye, and hung up. Once more you were faced with the urge to smash the stupid phone. Once more you fought it, instead shoving it into a drawer so you could ignore it and work on the mountains of paperwork you had to get through before your six o'clock reservations. You got back to it. Soon enough, the information was able to push your ex far from your mind. You didn't want to think about her anyway.

It felt like it had been eons since you'd arrived at work, and yet, according to the clock in the corner of your screen, you still had over an hour until your reservation. You might have slammed your head down onto the desk in front of you had two things not stopped you. The first was the migraine that was still throbbing in your head, and the second was the ringing of your office phone. Even though you knew she couldn't call you on here, you checked the caller ID before you picked up this time. It was the front desk.

"Hey, Tamara. What's up?

"There's someone here for you. She said you're going to miss your reservations."

"Reservations? It's only 4:45."

Tamara hesitated. "Daylight savings. It's 5:45."

You had entirely forgotten about that and even if you hadn't, you would have expected the computer would auto-update something like that. But you had forgotten, and the computer hadn't jumped forward, and now you were going to be late, and you still hadn't turned in the file that you'd promised to turn in today. You groaned in frustration, but transferred the file to a flash drive, shoved it into your bag, and left your office. Clearly, everyone else had remembered the time change, as the office was empty.

You cursed all of your coworkers in your head. You made for the elevator. When you stepped on and hit the button to bring you down to the lobby, you actually crossed your fingers. With your luck, all of the cables on the elevator would snap and you'd plummet all the way to the parking garage and die in a fiery explosion. Thankfully, your little gesture of luck seemed to work, for the doors slid open safe and sound in the lobby. As you stepped out, though, your bag hit the door, and the company ID snapped off and slipped in that tiny little crack between the elevator and the floor and out of sight. You cursed loudly.

You didn't dare shine your flashlight down the crack to try and see how far it'd gone; either your phone would have gone down after it out the doors would have slammed shut on either side of your skull. Neither of those things were a chance you were willing to take. You abandoned your ID and continued to the front desk, letting Tamara know what had happened. She nodded in understanding before pointing out your best friend, who had come to collect you after you'd let her know this morning that you'd taken an Uber to work. You approached her and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey," she said brightly.

"Hey, Nat."

Natasha Romanoff was the best thing to happen to you all day. She was your very best friend. Too, maybe you wanted her to be a little more. She was the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid eyes on, the red waves on her head only accentuating her emerald green irises, which sparkled when she smiled at you. That was only her physical beauty. Though she was, to most everyone that knew her, a tough, scary Avenger, you knew it was a façade. Natasha was the kindest, most generous, selfless, and caring person you'd ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Tamara tells me you forgot about daylight saving time started last night."

"Shut up," you grumbled.

"Irritable because you lost an hour of sleep?"

"Nat," you said, already feeling bad for snapping at her. You rubbed your head. "I'm not having the greatest of days."

That was how your friendship with Nat was. You both understood that not every day was a good day. She tried to convince you not to compare, but you especially understood that. Natasha had been through hell on Earth when she was a child and you wished with every fibre of your heart that you could bear some of that for her. But you couldn't, and you were sure that if you could have, she wouldn't let you. So instead, you understood the bad days, and in turn, she did too. When you stated that today was one of those days, she turned to you with concern sparkling in those beautiful eyes.

"You okay?" She asked.

Your heart fluttered when her hand took yours.

It was a friendly gesture, of course, but you couldn't help but wish it otherwise. You wanted to hold her hand and have it not be just as a friend. You wanted to be able to intertwine your fingers with hers and squeeze her hand tight and feel that constant touch against her. You didn't want it to be friendly, you wanted it to be more. You wanted it to be so much more. You wanted to call her yours and for her to call you hers. But she was just a friend, and it was far better than nothing.

You hadn't always believed that someone could fall in love without some sort of a romantic relationship leading up to it. Now you realized it didn't need to be romantic. You and Natasha were close. You were closer than you'd ever been with anyone before. Because of that relationship, you knew you loved her. You were head over heels in love with her at this point, and you'd realized that a little while ago when you caught yourself fondly admiring her as she drummed her fingers against the table, deep in thought. It was a habit that had once had the ability to drive you up the wall.

"Hello?" She tried again. Her hand squeezed yours.

Your stomach flipped. "Yeah. I'm alright. Just waiting for my bad luck to run out."

"What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" You scoffed. "My fruit is all spoiled, my coffee maker broke, I spilled orange juice on my favourite white shirt, my car won't start, my bus wasn't running this morning, my Uber driver was a creep, I missed my meeting, I almost missed our reservations, I lost my ID badge and... she-who-must-not-be-named called."

Natasha's eyes darkened, her hand gripped yours tighter, and her gaze moved to meet yours. You took a chance and swiped your thumb over the back of her hand to try and get her to ease the tension out of her muscles. It seemed to work, as she relaxed a little. Her shoulders moved back down, the crease in her eyebrow lessened, she loosened her grip on your hand and exhaled carefully. She nodded in thanks, green eyes once against soft and gentle as she searched your eyes. You knew she was looking for any hint of you being upset. You weren't, though. You were with her.

Natasha hated your ex-girlfriend about a hundred times more than you did. She'd begged you to let her sneak over to her house at night and slash her tires and egg her house. You'd given that a firm no, not wanting Nat to get in any sort of trouble. It was Natasha's idea to never speak her name again, and to burn a bunch of photos and clothes that were left behind at your house. She'd gone so far as to have the bench you'd once carved your names into removed from the park and replaced with a brand new one... on Tony's Starks card, of course.

"What did she want?"

"Dunno. I told her I was busy," you actually laughed a little for the first time that day. "It wasn't exactly a lie. I was swamped today."

"Hey, if Fury is overworking you, I'll kick his ass."

Imagining Natasha kicking Nicholas Fury's ass was utterly amusing. You had no doubt she could, but Fury was a force. She'd kick his ass and the next day half of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be at her doorstep to retaliate. But he was a good boss. It wasn't his fault you'd procrastinated your own work for days. That was on you, and you knew it. So, you shook your head no, he wasn't overworking you. She seemed satisfied by that, but the topic of your ex wasn't dropped yet.

"Next time she calls you can direct her straight to me."

"Tasha, you won't answer."

"Damn right I won't."

You laughed again. It brought a smile to her face too.

With that, you continued on down the street without another word of she-who-must-not-be-named. You had almost reached the restaurant where Natasha had left the reservations when you stepped on something that most definitely was not concrete. If Natasha hadn't had your hand, your leg sliding out from underneath you would have left you on your ass. She held tight to your hand, her other arm catching you around the waist. You had to force yourself from blushing red as a tomato.

You glanced down at what you'd stepped in and could have punched someone. The white paint that was being used on the storefront had spilled onto the sidewalk and of course, you'd stepped in it in your new, black shoes. You scraped the bottom of it off on the sidewalk, grumbling all the while. Natasha had let go of your hand when you'd tugged it away from her to wipe the excess paint on the side of your shoe onto the post of the 'no parking' sign next to you. It was still ruined, but at least you'd gotten enough off that you wouldn't stain the restaurant's floor.

"You weren't kidding with the bad luck, huh?"

You shook your head no. You motioned onward, though. She got the hint, and you closed the distance between you and the restaurant. You shifted your bag on your shoulder as you stepped in, hoping they wouldn't notice the wet paint you were tracking onto their floors. If you managed in and out without them seeing, you'd be alright. It was New York City. You were sure people had walked in with worse things on the underside of their shoes.

You watched Natasha closely as she gave her name for the reservation. You hated how the host eyed her even more than you hated how your Uber driver had eyed you this morning. You didn't want anyone to eye her like that. You wanted to be the only one allowed to look at her like that. You knew you weren't, though. You ripped your gaze away from where it had been travelling along her jawline just in time for the host to arrive and lead you to your table. You sat across from her, keeping your eyes down and you collected your thoughts.

"What are you having?"

When you looked up, her eyes were trained on you. Her eyes were your absolute favourite part of her. They always shone so brightly, and so clearly expressed whatever she was feeling. They sparkled like they could see into your very soul and were so deep you could get lost in them for hours. Even the colour was perfect. They were that amazing shade of green that had very quickly become your favourite colour. You often found you'd been staring into them for a little longer than what might be considered normal. Now was one of those times. You looked back down at the menu.

"I'm not sure. Definitely a drink," you hummed. "Though I might get poisoned."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think your luck is so bad that your assassin will choose to poison you today."

No, because she would protect you from anything. She always had. You might have been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and perfectly capable of protecting yourself, but she was always stepping in front of you to defend you. You couldn't say you minded. You liked having her at your back. Some people had a physical location where they felt safe. You didn't. Natasha Romanoff was your safe place. When you were with her, you felt like nothing in the world could touch you. She wouldn't let anything hurt you, and you wouldn't let anything hurt her.

Soon enough the waitress was stepping up to your table and taking your order. You gave yours first, opting for a simple fettuccine alfredo. Natasha gave hers, unaware of the way you watched her lips moving as she talked. When the waitress left and she looked back to you, your eyes were cast toward the window, watching a young couple pass by, huddled close together in the cool March evening. When she called for your attention and you gave it immediately, looking over to her. She sipped her wine as you did.

"You said your car wouldn't start?" She said.

"Yeah. It keeps sputtering on and on."

"I'll drive you home and take a look at it tonight. I know a thing or two about cars."

It was a good thing she did, because you knew absolutely nothing about what was going on under the hood of the car. All you could think was that maybe the battery had died on you, but that wasn't possible. If you'd left the lights on, you would have been able to see it through the window in your bedroom the night previous, and you hadn't. There was no other reason the battery could have been drained. You'd driven the car yesterday from your house to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s New York location. You might not have known what the hell was wrong, but Natasha would figure it out in seconds. The thought of her bent over to study the underside of the hood made you shiver.

The image was pushed from your mind when the waitress returned with your food. She placed your pasta down in front of you and you thanked her politely. She set Natasha's down as well. The redhead smiled widely and after double-checking that everything was alright, the server left the two of you to your dinner. Natasha glanced up at you, a very amused smile playing on her lips. You knew exactly what it was about, too. You'd gotten the wrong order and said absolutely nothing of it. Honestly, you didn't really care. At this point in the day, you just wanted to eat.

"You could've said something," Natasha teased.

"It's nothing. I'm hungry and this is just as good."

"We can still say something."

"It's fine," you assured.

"Let's stop and buy you a couple hundred good luck charms on the way back to your place."

You laughed aloud.

Dinner was good, despite having gotten the wrong order. You suspected that was due to Natasha's presence. The two of you had been exchanging stores of the craziest missions you'd ever gone on. Of course, she was winning. She was an Avenger. Your missions as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent were anything but boring, but they didn't compare to the alien invasion last year that Natasha had been at the heart of. You'd been helping from the edges of the city, evacuating civilians and the like, but you suspected she'd killed hundred more of the Chitauri than you did: one.

Before long you'd both finished, and the empty plates were cleared away. The server returned to you with the bill. You made sure your card was out before Natasha could even think about trying to pay. They collected your card, and you gave Natasha a very smug little smirk. She only rolled her eyes and thanked you softly. You thought all was said and done when the server returned. You prepared to leave but she shook her head, signalling you to stop what you were doing. She reached out, handing you your card back. You took it.

"I'm afraid the transaction isn't going through."

It seemed that your bad luck had struck again. You were fully confident that there was enough money in your account. There had been last night when you'd checked it, anyway. Either you'd had the misfortune of your card deciding to kick the bucket while you tried to buy dinner for Natasha, or even worse, someone had gotten into your bank account and cleared it out. That thought made your heart drop into your stomach as you reached for your phone, hardly noticing Natasha pulling out her own credit card this time.

You prayed for one tiny bit of luck today. Your prayers went unanswered. You logged into your online banking to find that someone had managed to get your credit card number and had been online shopping all day. Your card had long hit its limit and you were already dreading the phone call you were about to have with the bank. You huffed as you set your phone down roughly on the tabletop. Natasha glanced over at you as the server took her card this time. She raised an eyebrow. You were sure smoke was billowing from your ears.

"Luck isn't turning yet?"

You didn't answer that. "Thanks for dinner, Natasha."

She laughed. When the server returned her card and wished you both a good evening, she took your hand and dragged you back out the doors onto the noisy streets of New York. She was leading you back to S.H.I.E.L.D., where you knew she must have left her bike. When you got there, she scanned her ID and brought you both down into the parking garage. She brought you right to the motorbike and lifted the helmet off from where it was hanging on the handlebars. She reached out and set it on your head, doing it up underneath your chin. Her fingers brushed your skin as she worked at the straps.

"Normally I would never condone riding without a helmet, but I only have one. This head," she said, rapping her knuckles twice against the helmet on your head. "Is much more important than mine."

"Is not," you laughed. "There's hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, but there's only six Avengers."

"And there's only one you," she insisted. "The helmet stays on that pretty little head of yours, and that's final."

That compliment seemed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach. They were still present when you both climbed onto the bike. They fluttered even more when Natasha told you to put your arms around her and hold tight. You could have stayed like this forever if she'd asked you to. You almost wanted her to ask you to, because you loved the ways your arms fit perfectly around her waist. Facing forward, she wasn't able to see the smile that was growing on your lips. Maybe all that bad luck was to make up for this.

Reluctantly, you took your arms off from around her when she pulled into your driveway. She put the kickstand down and took the helmet once you'd pulled it off and handed it back to her. You straightened out your hair a little bit in the reflection of your car window. Wordlessly, Natasha had moved to the hood of your car and tapped on the red paint to get your attention. You unlocked the car and popped the hood for her. She unhooked the latch and lifted it up, studying the inside carefully. That scene you'd been picturing earlier was coming true before your eyes.

"Start the car for me?"

You nodded. You dropped your bag on the doorstep, digging through the pockets until your hand had closed around your car keys. You withdrew them by tugging on the dinosaur keychain that Natasha had once given you after winning it at the arcade, where you'd spent hours at all the different games. You slid into the front seat, turning on the car when Natasha gave you the thumbs up. The car sputtered loudly. Then it made a sound you might have mistaken for a gunshot. The backfire nearly made you jump out of your seat. You quickly got out.

"You alright, Nat?"

"I'm good," she nodded. She moved away from the car. "It's probably just your spark plugs. When's the last time you had them replaced?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Hell if I know. I drop it off for a tune-up and expect them to tune it up."

Natasha laughed. "I'll grab some tomorrow and replace them for you."

You nodded. You watched as she reached up and grabbed the hood of the car, closing it again. She rubbed her hands against her pants. You clicked a button on your car keys, locking the doors. The lights flashed to indicate that it was indeed secured. You fiddled with the keys in your hand to get the house key out, opening your mouth to invite Natasha in as well, but found you couldn't find the golden key. You growled at nothing and dug through every pocket in your bag to see if it had fallen off in there, but there was no trace of it.

"My house key is missing."

Natasha actually laughed at this. "Did you walk under a ladder this morning? Spill the salt? Break a mirror?"

You glared at her. "Can you help me get in through a window?"

She nodded. You both moved around to one of the windows that you'd left open last night, after telling her you weren't sure you had locked it when you shut it this morning. Indeed, she found that once you'd removed the screen, she was able to slide the window open. You linked your fingers together to make a spot for Natasha to use for leverage. You boosted her through the open window and then moved back to the front door just as you heard the deadbolt slide out of place.

"My hero," you grinned as she opened the door. "I owe you a drink. Come on."

"I still have to drive home."

"Stay the night," you offered. "If you don't, I could very well just get murdered tonight."

Natasha laughed. "Well, I'd better stay and make sure you're okay, then."

You smacked her gently. She knew her way around your small bungalow well, having visited what could have easily been a million times. She made herself at home on the couch, tossing her leather jacket beside her. You moved into the kitchen, only paying half a glance at the towels you'd thrown over the two spilled beverages. You poured the both of you a drink and then brought them into the living room, kicking back on the couch beside her. You grabbed the remote, clicking the TV on. The screen lit up the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the beautiful face beside you that had been illuminated. You turned back to the screen.

"I can put Netflix on," you said, pressing a button. "What do you want to watch?"

"Can I test your luck?"

"What?" You responded, turning your full attention to her.

She didn't offer an explanation. You felt her hand touch your thigh. Your breath hitched and the remote almost fell to the floor. You managed to set it down on the table as your cheeks began to burn red. She left her hand there for a few seconds before it slid away, letting you take a moment to remember how to breathe. Her hand moved away and wrapped around her glass. You knew how obvious you were being when you watched her touch the rim to her lips and the slight movements in her neck as she swallowed the alcohol. You needed a drink too, but you were frozen.

"I just mean... I could either turn your luck around or just maintain the bad luck."

You still didn't know what she meant. She was setting her glass down on the coffee table. Her eyes searched yours and you were once again tossed into the sea of green that you were so obsessed with. When she leaned forward and connected your lips, though, you lost sight of emerald green. Her eyes had shut and only a second later, yours had fluttered shut as well. You put a hand on the back of her neck to hold her closer and moved your lips with hers. You wondered briefly if you were dreaming. You didn't have long with your thoughts. Your mind was so overcome with whatever was happening right now.

Natasha pulled back. Her hand had, at some point, moved back onto your thigh, and was resting there gently. Your hand moved to cover it. She flipped hers over so that her fingers could intertwine with yours and for the first time, it didn't feel like it was just in a friendly manner. It felt so much more than that, just liked you'd wanted it to. Your eyes moved from there up to her face. She had been studying you intently. You'd never seen Natasha Romanoff look nervous. Not until that very moment. You chuckled a little, nervousness in your chest as well, and let your eyes fall.

"You definitely turned it," was all you said.

"Yeah?"

"By a long shot. I mean, I think this amount of good luck was enough to actually balance out the bad luck."

You didn't know Natasha could giggle, but she did. The sound made a smile immediately spread over your face. You reached out and took her hands in your own. You leaned forward and kissed her again, infatuated with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against yours so rough and yet somehow so soft. One of your hands pulled out of hers so it could thread through the red waves on her head. You'd wanted to do that for so long. She only pulled back when you'd both lost your breath. Your forehead rested against hers and you could smell the whiskey on her breath.

"Do you know how long I've wanted that?" You breathed.

"I'd guessed it, but I thought it was just my imagination because I wanted the same thing."

You laughed. She put her hands on your shoulders, pushing your back down against the couch and then putting her knees on either side of your waist. Her lips were on yours again, a little hotter this time. You didn't complain. You just let her lean down over you and kiss you and run her hand down your side. You only raised a hand to her chest and pushed her away when you once more felt the need for oxygen burning inside your chest. She didn't move far, face inches from yours, studying you this time from above. You blushed under her gaze.

"I... I've felt really strongly about you for a while," you said, hand moving so you could trace your fingertips across her cheek. "You know what I mean?"

"Are you trying to tell me you love me without saying you love me?" She asked, the teasing back in her voice again. "Because you're not going to scare me off. You can say it if you want."

"I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too."

You couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't funny in any way, but maybe it was the relief trying to find a way out of your body. The sound seemed to make Natasha's eyes, sparkle. Your heart softened and the laughter fell from your lips and you didn't move a muscle. Her face was so beautiful looking down at you like it was. You felt so right having her touch you like this and touching her the way you were. Her hands were holding her torso up above yours and yours were touching her face so gently. It wasn't like a friend touched a friend anymore.

"Thanks for turning my luck."

"Are you kidding me? I'm the lucky one."

"I think we're both really fucking lucky, Natasha. Thank you."

#natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #mcu #marvel #wlw #lesbian

[xoluvx]

this is me trying; t.holland

» pairing: tom holland x reader » song: this is me trying » word count: 1.6K

"Hey, you want to join us for movie night today?" Zendaya's voice brought you back to reality. You glanced at her, she was holding the door open while leaning her head in through the small space. There was a small smile on her face like she was too scared to show too much emotion in case it triggered you.

Shaking your head, you leaned further into your bed pulling the covers closer to your chin.

"Are you sure?" she asked again. Usually, she would've given up, but this time she was persistent. There weren't many nights left.

"I'm sure," you said blankly not looking at her. You turned your back towards her bringing the covers over your shoulder. You heard a small sigh followed by the door closing. You felt your throat tightening, the familiar knot making it difficult for you to lay in peace.

The warm tears started forming and it wasn't long before they were streaming down your face.

"I don't understand what the big deal is," his voice echoed as you walked down the hallway. Your hands were fists at your side and all you wanted to do was disappear. "I'm talking to you," he called out again hoping you would stop.

But you weren't stopping.

"Tell me why that's wrong?" he asked again. His voice settling into a softer tone realizing that raising his voice wasn't going to help. He was quickly walking now in the hopes to catch you. His fingers wrapped around your arm gently and you stopped.

"What's wrong? I told you I didn't want to go public, you went against what I specifically told you I didn't want. Why would you do that to me?" you asked the hurt in your voice piercing through his heart.

It hadn't been his intention. It'd slipped. It wasn't something he could take back now.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" he rambled, but you jerked your arm away shaking your head. The last words you spoke directly to him rung in his head.

"It's over. We're done."

Sinking deeper into the mattress, you held on to the comforter tighter. The tears had dried, but the pain was still holding on tight. You'd seen Tom since then. Obviously, you had to. There was no way of escaping him while you promoting the film, but you hadn't spoken to him. Not directly. Not intentionally.

There was a knock again. This time you didn't react so you were surprised when the door opened slowly and in came the familiar figure again.

"It's not the same without you," Zendaya said sitting at the edge of the bed. She wasn't leaving this time. "Why don't you talk to him?" she asked. She knew everything. She was the one person you ran to, but recently you'd started to slowly isolate her too only leaving the hotel room when you had an interview or special appearance.

"He doesn't want to talk to me anyway," you mumbled. Your voice was muffled by the comforter.

"How do you know? Has he told you that?" Zendaya flopped on the bed, she rested on her side watching the back of your head. Her hand came up to the covers trying to them from your face.

You groaned pulling on the cover.

"He doesn't want me back. I was awful to him," you said remembering how everything went down. The look of hurt he had on his face. The way he'd tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers and slowly backed away like you'd just accused him of the most horrible crime. The way he turned around and didn't look back. Not once.

"Did he say that?"

"No, but I know." That was the end of the conversation. And the last time you really spent time with her. Or with anyone no the cast for that matter.

"He's not here tonight, just come down for a bit." She pulled on your arm. Finally, you gave up. You let her lead you to the rest of the cast. Sitting down on one of the couches you pulled your sweater sleeves down so your hands saved in the fabric.

There was laughter and talking, but you spaced thinking of the times when you were on this very couch with Tom making jokes with everyone. Back before the world knew about the two of you. Before your world seemed to come down in flames.

-

It'd been almost a month. A month without Tom. You'd think a month would be long enough to forget about him, but time did not heal your wounds. You'd tried texting him. You missed him. But he never replied. You had no idea where he was or what he was doing. Did he go back home for a break or did he stay in the country to work?

He hadn't posted on Instagram. It was like he'd vanished into thin air, just like you'd wished for when you broke up with him. Which you had to remind yourself, you broke up with him. It didn't make it any easier.

Have you heard anything from Tom?

You'd given in and texted Zendaya, with who you'd patched things up. You couldn't bear to lose her too.

He's actually in town.

The reply was quick and it almost caused your heart to jump out of your chest. He was in town and you didn't know. She hadn't told you without prompting. Had he asked her not to?

The address to the hotel he was staying in flashed on your screen and your heart started jumping again. Thumping loudly, so loudly you could hardly hear yourself think.

It was late. Late enough that paparazzi wouldn't follow you. Late enough that Tom would probably be asleep. Late enough that maybe he wouldn't even want to talk to you if he was awake.

After pulling a few strings, you were standing outside his hotel room. Your hands cold in the pockets of your jacket. Taking out a hand, you formed a small fist knocking on the door gently. No response.

You waited, biting your lip and debating whether you should just go. Shaking the defeatist attitude, you knocked again. This time with a little more force.

It took a few seconds, but the door opened slowly and a shirtless Tom peaked his head through the small crack.

"Hi," you exhaled. You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until you saw him. There was a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest. Your heart was happy to see him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked rubbing his eyes. He had been sleeping.

"You didn't answer my text," you almost whispered. It was as if you'd forgotten how to speak, how to put words together to form a cohesive thought.

"What?" he said furrowing his brows, he still hadn't opened the door completely and you were standing outside his hotel room awkwardly playing with your fingers.

"I text you-"

"You broke up with me. Am I obligated to respond? I've been busy..." he added almost as if to soften the blow.

Stepping back at the sound of his raised voice, you nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." Walking backward, you apologized again turning on your heel, walking back towards the elevator. You heard the door close as you walked away cupping your hand over your mouth to block the ugly crying noises that were desperate to escape.

Pushing on the elevator button aggressively, you waiting for the ding. It felt like the longest seconds of your life. When the doors finally opened you stepped in. Again, the wait felt like an eternity. They were finally closing, but you saw an arm stop the doors.

It was Tom with his disheveled hair and a shirt. He'd put on a shirt.

"I didn't reply because it hurt too much," he confessed standing in front of you as the elevator doors closed. Your bodies shook as the elevator moved down and you held on to the railing to hold your ground.

"I wanted to. I wanted to reply, but you broke up with me." His voice cracked. You wiped some of the tears that'd started falling from your face. He was right.

"I'm sorry," you said finally looking at him. The tears were back, but you weren't wiping them this time. "I want to-" your voice cracked and your chest tightened. You stopped and inhaled deeply watching Tom stand in front of you with confusion.

"I want to try again. Please." Stepping forward you tried reaching for his hand, but he retracted it quickly running both hands through his hair and cupping one over his mouth.

"We can't-" he said softly the elevator doors finally opening. This was your queue.

"It's fine," you smiled forcefully shaking your head as he tried approaching. "It's okay. I'm going," you said pushing past him quickly leaving him dumbfounded on the elevator.

The air was cold as you stepped outside. Your tear-streaked face was faced with the cold wind and tucked your hands into your coat again silently sobbing as you aimlessly walked down the street.

"Wait!"

Were you hallucinating? Turning you saw Tom standing by the hotel entrance. He was walking towards you. Your feet worked quicker than your brain, you started walking towards him too. Each step quicker than the one before and soon enough you were face to face.

His breathing was heavy, his hands cold as they made contact with your cheeks.

"Let's try again," he whispered as he brushed his nose against yours. His lips only centimeters away from yours. Wrapping your arms around his body, you closed the gap. The tears that pooled on your cheeks coursed down your cheeks as you closed your eyes. Losing yourself in the kiss, you tightened your grip around him and his thumb gently wiped the tears.

You didn't know how things would work out, but you knew you wanted to be with him. Publicly or not. You'd never stop trying.

folklore masterlist

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #folklore #folklore fic #this is me trying #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic

[allforyoumylovely]

emma, hiii. you're taking requests, like that's the best thing ever hihi. idk why but I've had this image in my head of sander resting against robbe's chest as he robbe reads to him, while he runs a hand through sander's hair. maybe sander is coming out of a bad episode or maybe they're just relaxing on a sunday, but yeah.... maybe something like that hihi. much love to you emma <333

Cille, this was an absolute dream prompt for me, my gosh 💘 📖  I went off on a few tangents but hopefully that’s okay sfhjg. Walk, shower, read. It’s their little routine 🧡  Thank you for sending me this. Love you! Btw let me know if I should upload these on ao3 or if they should just be little tumblr exclusives?

Sander always knows when he’s fading away, when he’s turning into a shell of himself. But he never knows when he’s going to fall asleep at the wheel. Until it’s too late, until he crashes. And that’s when he loses all sense of who he is, of what he enjoys or how he likes to dress or what his voice normally sounds like. Sometimes the only indication of time passing is his alarms that tell him to take his meds and eat at set times.

Although he doesn’t reach the point anymore where he wants to be physically erased – he knows that this seemingly perpetual state of sadness isn’t definitive no matter how much his brain tries to convince him otherwise – some days all he can drag himself out of bed for is a cup of coffee and a cigarette or a few slices of tangerine, the scent reminding him of his boy, his college boy. He’ll crack open a window in the living room and curl up against the cushions in the window-seat, the hood of his black hoodie over his head, and there he’ll try weaving his way through the weeds and the tangled neurons in his thunder-stained mind to anything resembling an actual thought with a pinch of substance.

For the days where he’s more clear-headed his mama puts up little post-its around the house with simple tasks for him to do to help him feel useful and necessary. And in the mornings whenever Robbe has spent the night, Sander finds little notes from him too; there’ll be an I love you on his pillow, an I’m so glad you exist placed on his desk and I’m bringing you flowers later <3 hanging on his door. The first time Sander doesn’t think Robbe actually means the one with the flowers, but when he buzzes him in later that afternoon, the first thing he sees is a bouquet of light pink lilies cradled in his arm against the autumn brown of his jacket, the hues so lovely and gentle, just like Robbe. It’s more than Sander’s frail mind can take, and Robbe wipes away the thin streams of warm tears with his sweater paws, and they laugh softly when it only makes it worse.

Since before Robbe, Sander has been figuring out what soothes him, what makes him feel more at ease, what helps him settle back into his body and bones when coming out of a bad episode, and he has slowly built up a list of things that assist in bringing the puzzle pieces of his mind back into place.

Walks

Sander’s aunt has a golden retriever, Bella, who goes on a little holiday at Sander’s when he’s down and spends most of his days at home. In the mornings she’ll pad over the hard-wood floor to his bed and nuzzle her nose against Sander’s face until he wakes up, waiting patiently for her walk. It’s easier for Sander to get out of bed knowing there’s someone relying on him for their needs and wellbeing. He’ll take her and himself on a walk in the fog-blue mornings when the morning traffic is yet to come, and then again in the early evening when it’s still light out but the streets are quieter, enough for him to give his brain some stimulation when it feels like it has slowed to a halt. The sound of his boots against the sidewalk reminds him that he’s still part of the world, that he hasn’t completely vanished after all.

Sometimes he goes by himself, just listening to and observing the city around him with pale eyes. Other times Robbe goes with him, sleepy-eyed and rosy-cheeked in the mornings, relaxed and loose-limbed at night. He doesn’t curl his hand around Sander’s but lets it hang by his side with their pinkies brushing, open and inviting, for Sander to take if and when he feels like it. Sander will thread their fingers together always, but he loves Robbe for giving him a choice and never forcing anything on him.

Often, they find a bench somewhere, in a park or at the river, a place that isn’t too crowded but still has plenty of things for Sander to rest his eyes on. It’s only the middle of September but some leaves are already falling, lying yellow and limp on the ground, and Robbe notices Sander’s wondering expression.

“It’s probably because the weather has been so dry; they’re shedding their leaves to conserve water and energy,” he says.

And Sander instinctively inches closer, a small smile on his lips. “Clever you.”

Bella sits by Sander’s legs with her head propped on his knee, her deep brown eyes alternatively scanning the place and glancing up at him, sensing his sadness. She’s calm and curious and cuddly, reminding him of a certain someone. When Sander tells him, Robbe breathes out a little giggle, making Sander gaze at him more deeply than he has in days, at the silky curls around his ears and the blinking hoop and the crescent dimples curved into his cheeks, and he’ll quietly rest his head on the slope of Robbe’s shoulder, a few tiny clearings of blue sky starting to appear in his overcast mind.

Showers

Back at home, he and Robbe linger in the hallway for a bit, their hair messy, the scent of fresh air in their clothes. When Robbe says that his green, sparkly eyes are coming back, Sander curls a few fingers in the front of Robbe’s shirt, feeling the firm plane of his stomach against his knuckles as he mumbles, “Shower.”

Some nights Sander can’t stand the mere idea of catching glimpses of himself in the mirror; hates the way he looks with his violet circles and dull, greasy hair. So Robbe will light a couple of candles, and they’ll undress in the dim orange glow and quietly get under the shower spray. And there, with Sander’s forehead resting against his own, Robbe will wash Sander’s hair and tell him that he looks beautiful in this light, while his fingers work in small, bone-melting circles. The near orgasmic pressure on his scalp helps reconnecting Sander’s mind and body, making him press up tightly against Robbe, finally diving back into the swirling, velvety heat that licks into every cell of his being.

“Thank you for… For staying with me,” he says between hushed breaths and light kisses. It falls clumsy from his lips, sounding graver than he intends it to, but Robbe, the angel soul that he is, moulds his answer into five words of pure reassurance that protectively wrap themselves around Sander’s heart.

“I’m going to marry you.”

Sander doesn’t cry. But he’s very damn close.

Reading

This one begins one night maybe a year into their relationship. While Robbe brushes his teeth, Sander wanders Robbe’s room, taking in the familiarity of it, running a hand over the forest green sweatshirt draped over his chair, trailing the edge of his desk with a few fingertips. When he reaches his set of shelves, he sees it wedged in between a plant and some school supplies: a book of bedtime stories filled with beautiful watercolour illustrations, the cover a painting of a dark blue night sky with a full moon reading for her stars over a little sleeping village. The spine is threadbare, seemingly from the countless times of being opened and closed. As he flicks through the crinkled pages, soft lips press against the nape of his neck and the back of his shoulder.

“Are you snooping around my room?” Robbe mumbles.

“Mhm,” Sander hums. “What’s this book?”

Twining his arms around Sander’s stomach from behind Robbe says, “When I was little my mama used to read these stories aloud for me at night. She was looking through some stuff the other day and found it again.” He hooks his chin over Sander’s shoulder. “It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Very.” Sander glances back at Robbe with a squeezing feeling in his chest. “Did it make you fall asleep?”

Robbe smiles. “Every time.”

Sander drops his gaze back to the book, asking quietly, “Will you read for me?”

And Robbe brushes a “Sure” and a kiss behind his ear, tugging him along to the bed.

It’s something they do now: Robbe reading aloud for Sander whenever he feels low and doesn’t have many words to offer. Sander then tucks his head under Robbe’s chin, and Robbe tangles his fingers in his freshly washed and citrussy-smelling hair, scraping over his scalp in endless, soothing motions. Safe and sound, Sander listens to stories about naughty star-children, wizards flying about in rolled up rugs, and a Goodnight-ship with live stuffed animals as passengers. They flow over him like dripping streams of honey, Robbe’s voice lovely and wonderful and a little sleepy, and Sander tries so desperately to make his foggy brain hold onto the words.

Sometimes when the night air is cooling Sander’s room and Robbe feels a little cold, he’ll wear a thick hoodie to bed. Sander loves the scent and the comfy feel of the well-worn fabric under his palm, but sometimes he gets a little frowny and frustrated at having to fumble for his small waist; so Robbe pulls it off despite the goosebumps rising on his skin, and Sander presses his ear to his heart and tightens his hold around him, sharing his body heat his only job while he listens to stories from when Robbe was little. And Sander feels little too; but it’s something he allows himself. A few years ago, he didn’t dare dream that he’d ever have this with someone; didn’t think he even had this level of softness in himself.

But here he is. Here they are.

He has never wanted to be someone’s more than he does Robbe’s; it’s so clear that he belongs to him. And it’s crazy, Sander thinks. Because no matter how feeble and numb around the edges his body and mind feel, his love for Robbe is always right there in a molten pond at the core of him, and Sander could cry at the fact that his brain always lets him have that.

In the days following, when he finds that he has enough energy to send Robbe little dorky, flirty texts throughout the day, such as Bella woke me up with wet, sloppy kisses. Wish it was you or when you’re in the mood for a snack but you’re not there💔  with an attached photo of himself pouting at the open fridge, he knows that the darkness in his chest and brain is releasing its hold and taking flight.

#drabbles 💗 #wtfock #cille 💗

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 1 : MC is having a horrible, horrible day and she goes to the Aurora to have a drink.

(⚠️Sad. Some swearing ⚠️)

_____________________________________________

Heyy guys!! Here's a little Phil Hawkins one shot part 1 because there's not enough Duskwood imagines 🙈

(pictures aren't mines but I made the collage and the character aren't mines. All rights go to Duskwood creators and owners of the pics.)

----------------------------------------------------------

My day was total crap... I don't believe I've had such a horrible day before. Or at least, not for a long time... It feels like everything is falling apart little by little. Like nothing is meant to go normally. I woke up like any other day, and yet, it feels like I woke up in a chaotic world where everything is meant to go wrong... Since that call, everything is going downhill...

The night has fallen which means I have officially done my day. It felt like forever... Like I am in an endless loop... And since I was meant to do the closing, my day felt even longer than usual. I just finished cleaning the little restaurant I worked at and closed it. It's not a job I would want to do my whole life, even though it is nice to work in a restaurant, but I need money to pay for my college study. My mom is helping pay for them, but I'm trying to pay as much as I can on my own. Anyway... I am walking in the streets of Duskwood which are beamed by the streetlights. It is surprisingly emptier than usual. I guess it's due to the rain... Like my day wasn't cloudy enough already... I think I need a break... Yeah... I need a drink...

I walk toward a familiar building, some greenish-blueish light lightening the area. Aurora... The famous bar of Duskwood owned by my best friend's brother. I've rarely been there alone... Usually I go with the rest of the group. But I really need... Ugh... Maybe I should just go home? Isn't it too late to go there anyway? Ugh... I'm asking myself too many questions. I guess a drink really won't hurt. I reach the door before falling face to face with a sign. CLOSED. Great... I sigh disappointed as I am standing under the rain. Oh... But he is still here. Through the window, I can see a familiar figure cleaning the place. Oh well, I'm neither here nor there... I lift my hand and knock on the door of the bar. The man turned around as I got his attention. I cross my arms over my chest and notice that the rain has already soaked my hair and my vest. I must look awful... The man comes up to the door and opens it for me.

- Gorgeous! Come in before you catch a cold, tells me, the man, using that nickname he always does. I don't know why he does it... I never heard him calling other girls like this. Well, he does use pet names but not this specific one. I step in the bar and he closes the door behind me. You know I love you very much but I'm about to close so... He begins to tell me with his famous smirk despite the little fatigue I can see on his face. His hair is held up in a bun as he usually does when he works. He is wearing a white shirt, letting his huge tattoo on his neck appear, and a black trousers. By the sight of his eyes, I can tell he had a long day too...

- I just need one drink, Phil, I simply answer to my friend. My voice sounded so... Tired and flat. Phil looks at me with a slight surprise, losing slowly his smile. I guess the sound of my voice surprised him. Please... I plead to him with the same tone.

- I would never say "no" to my favorite customer, would I? He answers with a smirk. I faintly smile back at him, happy that finally something goes well. For now... He could have said "no". The two of us walk over to the bar and I sit on a stool while he goes behind the counter. We're alone in the bar since he was about to close so it's pretty quiet. The usual I guess, he tells me with his deep and calm voice.

- Actually... Whiskey. Pure, I reply, stopping him in his momentum. Phil looks back at me for a second, processing my words.

- Wow, I knew you had that wild part in you, Gorgeous, but I didn't think I would ever see it, he tells me with a surprised tone again. Yet, he doesn't seem to dislike it. Phil gets two glasses and he pours a little bit of the beverage in the glasses.

- A little more, please... I tell him with the same flat and tired voice. I stop myself from letting a long sigh out. Again, I feel his eyes burning me before he pours a little more alcohol. Thanks, I thank him.

- On the house, he tells me, leaning against the counter as he raises his glass. I was about to retort but he gave me a look, telling me he won't change his mind.

- Double thanks, I thank him again, clinking my glass with him before taking a sip. Argh... That tastes awful! I can feel the liquid burning my throat.

- So... I know I act like I am very happy to see you, which is the case, don't get me wrong, Gorgeous, he begins to tell me before rapidly correcting himself. But I also see that you're not fine, MC, Oh... I look down as I take a deep breath in. It must not be very hard to see I had a bad day then... Usually I can hide it pretty well... But right now. It's too deep, too much. I'm not even sure "bad" is a strong enough word to describe how crappy my day was. What's wrong? He asks me, sounding calm, gentle and interested, yet, with a point of concern.

- I'm okay, Phil, I softly respond to my friend while slowly shaking my head negatively.

- Mmh... This "I'm okay" sounded more like a "I'm-not-okay-but-I-am-putting-a-brave-face-on". Like a hidden call for help, he tells me gently, yet, seriously. His deep voice is just so... Irresistible, and always so calm. Who could resist it? Well... I guess at this moment I can. My mind is too bothered and busy right now. I crack a very faint smile before looking down at my glass again. I take a sip of it and lightly grimace to the taste of the drink. Who hurt you? He asks me seriously as he takes a cigarette and the lighter. Who… Why someone and not something?

- It's not about me, I respond in a whisper, lying to him. I hate talking about myself when I'm down. I don't want to bother people with my problems... I don't want to be the one to bring negative vibes. Oh no... I turn lightly my head to the side as I feel the tears coming up. I need a break... I need to break.

- Lie, he simply says. I don't look at him and I don't contradict him either. What happened? He asks again with seriousness, not letting this subject aside. I don't answer again. I can feel a lump in my throat. The tears are thick in my eyes and threatening to fall at any time now. MC, talk to me. I'm not here to judge you or... I hide my face even more as I can't stop myself from grimacing sadly. I can't take it... I let a sob out accidentally as if my body is talking for myself. I want to scream. But I can't... MC... He calls me with concern. Phil puts down his cigarette and walks around the counter to join my sides. I don't move and keep my back to him. I hate when people see me crying... Phil puts his hand on my shoulder so I could face him but I push it away, not too harshly, but not too gently either. I let another sob out as I closed my eyes. The tears are so thick and warm... There's so much emotion in them. They roll down my cheeks regularly, evacuating my pain. Without saying a word, I feel a pair of arms holding me. A chest lays against my back. My hair was all wet... His shirt must be wet too by now. It's okay, MC, I hear him whispering. I should push him away. I know how Phil is with girls... Isn't it too easy to cry in front of him and him then being too nice? I know he is my friend and my best friend's brother, but... God, I'm lost. Usually I go to Jessy or I call her. But I came here... Why? Ugh...

- I'm sorry... I whisper shakily through my sobs. I came for a drink and I ended up breaking in front of him...

- No, it's okay. Get it out, he says with a comforting and calm tone. It actually sounds weird coming from him... I know Phil for a few years and he was never like this. I mean, he is always calm but caring like this? That's rare... More than rare. Long minutes later, I slowly calm down. I am still breathing lightly shakily but I'm not sobbing anymore. Only a few tears here and there stream down my eyes. I take a deep breath in and out before wiping my cheeks. I don't remember when was the last time I cried this much... It hurts. It hurts so much. I accumulated too much. I didn't break when mom told me about my uncle's death… I guess I didn't realize what was real and happening at the moment… Or I didn't want to believe it… That built up on my nerves and… This is the result. Slowly, I pull myself away from Phil who didn't let go of me one second. I turn around to face him, but avoid his eyes. Like I thought, the top of his shirt is all wet, letting his tattoos appear a little more on his chest. I'm still confused about what just happened... That's not me to cry in front of people like this... And that's definitely not the Phil I know. Tell me what's wrong, Gorgeous, he says seriously, still wanting to know what got me in such a state. He never gives up...

- Everything, I answer back, my voice lightly breaking. I wipe my cheeks again as I clear my throat. To begin with, when I woke up this morning, I learned that my uncle had passed away during the night. He drove a truck from a country to another and... I explain to him, confessing the terrible news that started this awful day of mine. However, I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence. I bring my hand over my heart and press on it as if it would take the pain away. Since the call... Just saying those words hurts just as much as saying them in my head. If not more...

- I'm sorry to hear that, he apologizes sincerely.

- Me too... Thanks... But that's not it, I thank him with a sad tone before lightly sniffling. After receiving my mom's call to tell me this awful news, I went to work today because I couldn't stay home. I needed to get my mind busy and to... Not think about the incident, I confess as I feel a new tear rolling down my cheek. My uncle and I were close, you know? He kind of raised me with my mom since my dad left her when she told him about me, I admit to the boy. I watch Phil frowning as he discovers a part of my life that I don't usually bring up. Why am I telling him all of this? It's not like he cares anyway... Does he? Anyway, to continue this unpleasant day, I had the pleasure to meet very unpleasant and rude customers all day long. Like this one call wasn't enough already... One of the customers said that they didn't want me as their waitress because I've got curves, some others telling me I was too long when in reality I just walked away from their table, a couple literally told me I gave them the wrong command and threw their drinks at me, and another one insulted me because there wasn't anymore sandwich like he wanted, I tell him all of this in just one single breath. Yet, you could hear how tired and hurt I am right now. I guess the death of my uncle adding this unnecessary crap was just too much at once. And to add more, my boss is cutting half my pay off because I accidentally broke a cup... A damn cup! Can this day get any worse? I finish to say as I look away, letting a heavy and shaky sight out as another tear rolls down my face. My hand is still over my heart as if I am protecting it all while trying to reject all negative emotions. Suddenly, two fingers softly come grabbing my chin and force me to lift my head up.

- Your boss is a dick, MC. Always have been, always will be, he tells me, the sound of those words sounding familiar. How many times did he already say this to me? I stopped counting... But I should listen, he is right. And f**k those customers. They're not happy? Tell them to go to another restaurant, he responds seriously. His deep voice sounds so calm despite the upset look he has on his face. Am I upsetting him or is he upset because of what happened to me today?

- Right, I kind of need to keep my job despite everything. But you can go tell them that, I respond with a small scoff, yet, trying to use sarcasm.

- Sure, give me names and faces and I'll find them, he replies playfully, yet a point of seriousness heard in his voice. I smile to his answer, appreciating his concern and protectiveness. Though, I never thought it would ever happen one day. Phil is... Not the last person I'd go to to talk but definitely not the first one either... Usually. I look away again and lightly sniffle. Phil wipes some of my tears away. His hands are so soft... It's weird. I've never seen you cry before, he whispers. I look back up at him, watching him slightly frowning. That's true... Not sure a lot of people saw me crying before either... Not even Jessy. I weakly nod before shrugging.

- How does it feel to watch a girl crying in front of you? I reply slightly playfully. Jessy's brother grabs something on the other side of the counter before handing it to me. Tissues... I take them from his hand, thanking him.

- It's painful. When it's you... It's different... Painful, he responds, taking his cigarette again. Oh... I wasn't waiting for an answer like this one. I was waiting for him to say "Can you just stop thinking for a moment?" Or "Stop crying over so little"... But none of that. I watch Phil blowing some smoke, making sure it doesn't go in my face.

- Is the womanizer Phillip Hawkins starting to be an emotional guy? I question him with a playful tone, cracking a smile. I think it's the first time today that I cracked a smile. A real one, I mean.

- No, he's the same dick, he answers, shaking his head left to right while chuckling. Oh... Of course. That would have been too surreal. I'm not going to lie, Phil is a good looking guy. His long hair, his tattoos looking so cool, his piercing, the way he dresses, his voice,... Just the way he is is attractive. The sound of his chuckle runs through my body.

- He admits it, I reply as I feel myself smiling more and more as the tears are coming to a stop. Prove it, I tell him with a daring tone. Phil leans against the counter, smirking.

- Wanna stay with me, tonight? At my place. The bed is comfy and big enough for us two, he proposes seriously to me, a point of flirt in his voice. I know he is being serious. I can hear it in his voice. And that look of his... I know girls don't refuse him generally. But I'm not them. And I don't want to end up in his bed just for one night and then nothing. That's not me... That's not who I am. That's not what I want. He can be incredibly good looking and just be his amazing self, I'll still refuse.

- I don't do one night stands, Phil, I remind him seriously.

- I know... He replies, a slight hidden note of his tone telling me he is disappointed. It's no secret that Phil has been liking me for a while. He has tried to ask me a few times before but I declined them all for... Obvious reasons. Let's do two then, he suddenly says, half joking, half serious.

- Phil! I exclaim as I chuckle.

- It's okay. I'll accept even three nights. Or more. I won't mind, Gorgeous, he continues to say, but I can tell he is joking this time. I softly laugh while shaking my head. There's that smile I love, he states, sounding satisfied with himself for making me smile. Honestly, Gorgeous, don't mind those idiots. Don't let them get to you, he advises me seriously as he finishes his whiskey.

- I don't usually. But I thought going to work was going to help me forget that awful news for a moment. I went there hoping to clear my head. I guess it was just too much today and I needed to break. Sorry it had to be you watching me like this, I answer and apologize to the boy as I take a sip of my drink. Ugh... It's the last time I take Whiskey... I lightly grimace and put the glass down.

- I'm not. If you ever have a bad day again and feel the need to talk, don't hesitate knocking on my door. Even if it's closed. It's always open for you, he tells me seriously and sincerely. Honestly, I haven't met that guy before... Where's the Phil I know?

- Thanks, Phil, I thank him before stepping down the stool. I step up twice and take him in my arms. The man envelops me back in a warm embrace, running softly his hand on my back. I pull my head away and place a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. And before you think of anything spicy, that kiss on the cheek is the farthest you'll ever have, I rapidly tell him, a point of warning in my voice, yet, using a playful tone.

- You're definitely killing me with kindness, MC. My poor heart pays dearly, he tells me with a frustrated tone before I watch him taking my glass of Whiskey. Oh... He winks and takes a sip from it. Oh yeah, drink that thing... I don't like it anyway. And I think he noticed it...

- Moh, maybe one of those girls coming here could put a bandage on it to heal it, I say with some sarcasm, yet, with some dislike heard into it. I always hated that those girls could "help" him... I mean, what do they have? What does he see in them? Before anything said, no, I'm not jealous... I just don't like him with other girls...

- They could. But will it be worth it? He answers while nodding before taking his cigarette and blowing so smoke away.

- You tell me. You're the one who can't resist "beautiful women", I reply to the man, stating his own words. Phil smiles and chuckles lightly to my comment.

- They can definitely help at a low point, he answers, agreeing. Right... Wait, at a low point?

- At a low point? What do you mean? I ask him with a confused tone.

- I can sleep with every woman that wants me. But, in the end, it will never mean anything like... Like when you're with me, he suddenly tells me, lowering his head lightly. His smile disappeared, showing seriousness. Did I hear him right? Did he just say those words? I stare at the man, confused and speechless. Me? Why...? Since when...? Ugh... He had a few drinks today, didn't he? Phil looks back up at me, but his eyes give a quick look at my lips.

- I'm sorry. I'm trying but... Are those words really coming from you or... Did you have any drinks before? I demand him seriously, yet, with a playful tone to keep a cool atmosphere. Arguing with him is the last thing I want. Phil cracks a smile but it doesn't stay long.

- I know I play a lot around with different girls. I know what you think of me. I'm a f**k boy. And I know I tried several times to get a night with you. But... It's not just a night that I want and you don't seem to see that, he replies, not denying who he is but also kind of reproaching me to not open my eyes about him. Well… How could I? If he doesn't tell me, I only see things the way I see them... I nod positively before looking down. Why do I feel a little sorry suddenly? I shouldn't... There's something different with you, MC. You're different. From all the others. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to dirty you. I don't want to play with you. I don't want to break you, he tells me gently and seriously. I slowly look back up at him and notice how close he is to me. Was he that close to me before? I can feel my heart beating like crazy down my chest. It's wrong... It feels right, but it's wrong. I know it...

- Phil... I gently whisper his name as I a look down again.

- I love you, MC, he interrupts me with his calm and deep voice. What...? I stare at him with wide eyes, surprised by the words I just heard. I didn't even know he knew how to say them… Especially while sounding sincere. He meant those words. I love you like I have never loved a woman before. And I'm not talking about loving the "pretty woman" that you are. No, I mean... He sighs. You're pretty. You're more than pretty. You're prettier than all of those girls and I am not talking just about the way you look. I just... Again, I hear Phil sighing. Despite the fast that he stays calm, I can sense some nervousness coming from him which is unusual. Phil is never nervous, especially around a woman. He is the exact opposite actually. He is pretty confident about himself. He talks easily, flirts easily… You're not a price I want to win or a pride to have f**ked in bed. You have this thing that the others don't have. You're special, he says with the same calm and slight nervous tone. Phil looks straight before him as he blows some smoke. Special... He noticed this little thing in me, which I didn't know I had…

- You really noticed that small thing in me? Because, honestly, I'm everything but special. I can assure you, I demand and tell him with a point of shiness. Wow... I didn't think I would have sounded so shy all of a sudden...

- I told you. I love you. And you know those words don't come out of my mouth easily. Actually, I don't think I ever said them to someone before, he replies seriously and gently before taking a last blow and putting out his cigarette. I stare at him, not really knowing how to react. I mean, of course it does make me feel something. There's... There are those butterflies flying in my belly. My heart is racing and my cheeks feel a little warm... Maybe a little more than a little, actually. I know I feel something for him. I can't deny it… But there's still things in the way...

- Honestly, I'm discovering another man right now. Why don't you show this side of yours to people? Pride? Male ego? I demand him with a small confused tone, yet curious.

- I am who I am, he simply answers.

- Mmh... Well, I like this Phil better, I answer him as I crack a smile. Phil looks at me and his serious face turns into a smiling one again.

- So, would you go out one night? Or during a lunch break? He proposes to me, hope heard in his voice. Oh... Well... I know your days are long and I work at night too so it'll be short but... He tells me gently, reminding us of our busy lives. Right, there's not a lot of moments where we can meet… But do I want to meet him like this? I mean, yes, I want to but… Do I want to get in something like this? In an uncertain relationship where I'll fear he goes to see someone else to distract himself from me? Despite this side of him, he is still Phil in the end...

- If you do this to only get me in your bed... I whisper, interrupting him. I hope it's not a plan of his to get me in his bed... That'll be the worst thing he could do... Especially as being my friend first...

- I do this to win your heart. As cheesy as it sounded... Nothing more, he tells me seriously, staring into my eyes. Speechless, I stare at him as well. For once in my life, I just want to do right. Especially with you… For you… Because of you... But it's only if you want to, he responds sincerely to me, looking serious. It's actually a little disturbing. Phil has always had respect for everyone, including me. He always respected that I didn't want a one time thing… What changed?

- I don't know, I whisper, confused by the situation. It's not that I don't want to be with him nor that I don't like him. On the contrary. I love Phil. But... There's few things in the way...

- Because of my past with women? He asks me, sounding really confused that I won't accept. I'm certainly the only woman telling him "no". Especially after a few tries.

- Yes... And because of my insecure self. Look at you and look at me. You own an amazing bar, I work as a waitress with a crappy boss. You look cool and get well and easily along with people, I look like that discreet and shy girl who is nothing more than being awkward. And you're my best friend's brother. And there's the age gap, which is the least that bothers me, I tell him everything that I thought on why I don't say "yes" to him. I mean... I think he can understand where I'm coming from. I hope... I don't want to lose a friend, in a way, just because of that...

- You're perfect the way you are, MC. Nobody will take that thought out of my mind, he states seriously. I notice how his eyes are alternating from my own to my lips. They keep going up and down. He seems eager...

- Right... You said it, not me, I say with a disbelieving tone, yet a playful one while I giggle. A small smile comes on my face which keeps growing more and more. I'm not going to lie, but hearing him saying those words do something inside me.

- And I believe it, he says while nodding. He does... I stare at him for a moment, the two of us plunge into a deep silence. It's not awkward... It's intense, but not awkward. I'm just so not confident with myself. What if he is playing me? And what if he is not? Ugh… I should let go sometimes... Really... I could open doors I didn't even think I had the key of.

- Tomorrow. Meet me for lunch if you're free. We can start there to see how it goes, I propose to the man which, I notice, makes him smile instantly.

- Is it a date? He asks with a smirk. Well...

- I'm not sure... Maybe... We'll see, I reply unsure, yet, smirking back at him. Yes, I'm entering his game easily... Was it right? Though, we could hear this point of shyness in my voice.

- Will I get to finally kiss you? He then asks, slowly getting even more closer to me. Oh... I can feel my heart racing a little more, hearing it beat in my ears. He's making me so nervous… Kiss me… Is that all he wants?

- Phil... I whisper his name, annoyed, as I lightly title my head on the side.

- What? I showed you a part of me, doesn't mean the other one is gone, he answers with a not so innocent tone, still smirking at me. I keep staring at him a little annoyed despite the amused smile on my face. Alright, just lunch, he says, agreeing. I nod back positively. And a hug? He rapidly asks.

- A hug? I ask, surprised and confused. Phil winks at me. I can see he is waiting for an actual answer. Oh well... Sure. Whatever. I've got to go home. It's getting late, I agree before standing up from the stool. I didn't think but, when I stood up, my face got so close to his. At this moment, when my eyes met his, it was as if the time had stopped for a second. Slow motion. It was like I couldn't remember what reality looked like. I feel my cheeks starting to burn before I look down to hide my certainly blushing face from him. Why did I have to happen to have a crush on him? Why him? Why does he make me feel this way? I clear my throat quietly and start walking towards the door.

- Be careful on your way home. Tell me once you're there, he tells me as he follows me behind.

- I will, I reply. I was about to open the door when his hand grabbed the handle first. My fingers brushed his. I retrieve my hand and let him open the door for me. Still with my cheek lightly burning from previously, I manage to cross sight with his eyes and smile at him. Thanks for the night, the drink, holding me when I cried, and for listening to me, Phil, I thank him sincerely as I weakly nod to the man.

- You're very welcome, Gorgeous, he responds with his deep and calm voice while smiling back at him. That damn smile... Goodnight, MC, he wishes me softly.

- Goodnight, Phil, I wish him back. The two of us exchange one last look and smile before I walk out of his bar. I put my hands in my pockets and walk home.

I'm not sure what exactly happened there... I went to the bar to have a drink to relax and take my mind off and I ended up with Phil holding me when I broke down and accepting to have lunch together. Will it be a date? Will it actually go somewhere? Was he being serious? So many questions burning my mind... I will see how tomorrow goes. I'll have so much to do tomorrow, anyway... Mom is certainly going to call me for the funerals, my work is going to be tiring as always, and the lunch with Phil... I wonder what Jessy will say if she knew that her brother and I are going on a... Lunch? Date? Whatever it's called... Will she be okay with... What we're doing? Will she mind if I go out with her brother? Ugh, why do I already think of things like this? I'm not there yet... Anyway... I think I just need some sleep right now, nothing more. If I manage to actually fall asleep once I'll be home and in my bed… It promises to be a long night...

#duskwood #duskwood phil #duskwood jake #duskwood jessy #phil hawkins #duskwood richy #duskwood hannah #duskwood cleo #duskwood thomas #duskwood dan #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood app #iamjake #phil x mc #duskwood mc #multifandom #multifandomedit #edit #duskwood game

[adazzlinggirl]

A basic introduction to Nagao Kei (Nijisanji Vtuber)

*DISCLAIMER: this is just a silly little post to introduce more people to my recent hyperfixation, so all opinions are my own and are silly jokes based on the few months I have been a fan. Also I don't own any of the videos I have hyperlinked, all credit goes to their publishers. I have tried to find clips with eng subs*

Nagao Kei (長尾景) - debut: 4th April 2020

Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXW4MqCQn-jCaxlX-nn-BYg

Nagao Kei debuted with 2 other Nijisanji members, Kaida Haru and Genzuki Tojiro, to make up the unit 'VALZ'.

In general Nagao is a mischievous, playful ball of chaos - he is the class clown type who acts like an idiot but is actually really smart - he memorised the bomb manual for Keep Talking and No One Explodes in two days, learned Morse code (and hit 100k subscribers during a morse learning stream when he didn't want to), got a very high English score that he shows on streams occasionally, etc...

Basically a hyperactive old granddad - he is very hyper and sociable with other livers and does many collabs, especially with VALZ, where he likes to tease and bully Kaida Haru (e.g. he spent 9 hours burying Kaida's Minecraft house in a mountain), but also sometimes acts like a grandpa (especially with his kouhai Chigusa, or when he didn't know what button 'Tab' is on the keyboard while playing Detroit Become Human)

He is pretty much a slave to his senpai Fumi-sama and their interactions are hilarious. He memorised the Keep Talking bomb manual and Morse Code for collaborations with her. He also helped to train her for a Nijisanji Mario Kart tournament (but kept having to stop and slow down to allow her to catch up), and recently did a "Team Rocket" style game show type thing with Fumi and another senpai, Fumino Tamaki

Because of his mischevious and cheeky personality, he often gets himself into trouble with those around him - e.g. Fumi complained that she hadn't received any hate messages so he decided to compose one on stream... and she found out (and then he turned the letter into a song) and he called his elder sister a "demon" on stream and then got a text from her and had a sudden personality change...

People say he sounds like Ibrahim (personally I don't really hear it?) so he did a collab with him but Ibrahim was late, and so he started trying to play both himself and Ibrahim and went a little mad until Kaida came to the rescue (it's the second clip) and also pretended to be Ibrahim to trick his debut partner Furen.

He is a very good singer!!! I really love his God Knows cover! Also his Wintry Winds and 'Dying is Pathetic' covers with Fumi are so good!

Some more random clips I like a lot are:

-"I'm doing baby talk with pride here" to Haru mama

-Learning English & Indonesian from Taka ft Genzuki

-Being bullied by Aiba Uiha in Minecraft

-Losing his mind trying to pull Genzuki in gacha

-Placing chests all over Kaida's Minecraft house, killing his parrot and then filling his home with water

Thank you for reading this long post about Nagao! If I’ve made any mistakes, or you have any questions or things to add, feel free to let me know!! Genzuki's profile will probably come out tomorrow as I've finished most of it but it needs a few revisions!

#vtuber #vtube #nijisanji #nagao kei #virtual youtuber #valz #anime #2434

[hellotvshowtrash]

Obey pt. 3

Part 3 time!!! Not too much happens in this chapter, but I really like it tbh. Also once again posting from mobile so sorry if the formatting is weird.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: swearing

*tbh this gif is 100% Elijah laughing at drunken reader in this chap.*

Credit to gif owner

The cool night air was welcomed on her flushed skin. She started her trek home robotically, only getting a few yards away when she was stopped. "Let me walk you home, you're drunk and it could be dangerous," Elijah grabbed her arm from behind, gently pulling her to look back at him.

"I think I'm okay, thanks though," she said, "I walk this route pretty often. Besides, I'm not even really drunk anymore. You took care of that." She winked at him and turned back to continue walking, but he held her arm firm in his grasp.

"I insist," he said with more authority.

She slowly turned back to him, eyebrows raised. "You insist? You insist on following me back to my house so you can know where I live? You don't call the shots here," she pointed her index finger onto his chest. Anger clouded her features, no longer the seductress she had been. She had switched into survival mode in the blink of an eye. Elijah released her arm, surprised.

"Y/N," he muttered, "I overheard two men in the bar talking about following you." He looked into her eyes, "now I insist you let me walk you home," her eyes widened as he spoke, and then she shook her head quickly.

"Only because you heard those guys." She searched his eyes for the truth, but she found confusion instead. She began to walk again quickly, not waiting for him to catch up even though he did very quickly. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

"I should tell you.. I don't normally do that sort of thing," he said, trying to strike up a conversation.

She snorted in response, "Yeah, well, I do." And she rolled her eyes. Usually her flings were easier than this. They'd let her go without a fight. But it seemed like Elijah wanted to be around her. Her heart started to warm at the possibility that someone might care enough to break through her walls until she crushed that thought and reminded herself of her vow. "No one will ever treat me like that again," her thoughts seemed loud and Elijah looked at her.

"What did you say?" He whispered to her. She looked at him, confused and realized she had spoken her vow aloud. His eyes held a type of curious concern, and she couldn't decipher his intentions. That infuriated her.

"Nothing, just.. just stop talking," she clenched her fists. She was becoming uneasy with the amount of time she was spending with the man, after already achieving her goal with him. Elijah grabbed her arm and the memory of that night all those years ago flashed in her mind again for a quick second. She pulled her arm away with a gasp. She looked at him, the emotional pain evident on her face. His eyes held horror and pity, almost as if he remembered the memory with her. Fire burned in her as eyes she looked at him. Elijah had never been scared of a human before, but this one would do what it took to survive. A few tense seconds passed before her shoulders fell and she continued walking.

"I'm too tired for this right now," she said quietly. Pulling himself together, Elijah followed. He matched her pace and stuffed one of his hands into his suit pants pocket.

"I live close to here, if you would li-", he started but Y/N cut him off with a glare.

"I don't know who you think you are, but this," she stopped again and pointed back and forth between them "was a one time thing. I plan on never seeing you again. Thanks for some good dick, but I'm done with you now. I can make it home perfectly fine by myself."  She started walking once again. This time Elijah held back and raised his eyebrows as he watched her go. He was intrigued by her, by her past and he wanted to know more.

She on the other hand, had no interest in him whatsoever, although... he had something weird about him. The way he tried to command her to do things, and then seemed confused or annoyed when she didn't immediately comply. Or the blood on her neck after their sexcapade in the bathroom. She touched her hand to her neck as she walked and felt the puncture wounds that had started to scab. Handsome, and charming and dark. She didn't fear him by any means, she was determined to never fear a man again, but there was something dark within him and she didn't know if she had the means to combat it.

She looked over her shoulder as she walked home, and he was gone.

—

"So, who is Elijah?" Y/N asked drunkenly. It was toward last call at the bar a few weeks later and Sophie was wiping down the hard wood surface. Sophie rolled her eyes and looked at Y/N.

"You're here, drunk, asking about some guy instead of going home with your newest conquest. What gives?" Sophie took the empty glass that was between them and put it behind the bar. "Besides, if I told you who he is, you wouldn't believe me." Sophie said, quieter than before.

"I'm just interested, is all. He showed me a good time," Y/N slurred. She had lied to herself. She was interested and she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

"He's not your type. Actually, I don't think you have a type. You’ll fuck just about any man that breathes," Sophie grumbled.

The comment stung Y/N and she furrowed her eyebrows, "did someone shit in your Cheerios this morning? You're being a bitch," Sophie's jaw dropped as Y/N spoke. Y/N didn’t feel bad in the slightest.

"Out. Now." Sophie pointed at the door of the bar. Y/N started laughing as if Sophie was joking. "Get out."

Y/N stopped laughing and her face fell. "Aww come on, Soph. I'm just drunk it's fine," Y/N started to move off of her bar stool and tripped, almost tumbling to the ground. She started laughing again as Sophie stood her ground and watched her leave. Y/N stumbled onto the city street in the dark morning. Still laughing to herself, she began her walk home. She tripped over her own feet and began to fall to the ground, extending her arms out to catch herself, but the ground never came. Instead, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. She looked up and saw two handsome, identical men. No, there was only one, she clarified for herself. She was much more drunk than she thought she was.

"Llllijah?" She slurred. He sighed and brought her back up to her feet.

"You're lucky I happened to be passing by," he told her.

"I can take care of m'self," she said, her eyes partially closed. He couldn't help but smile at how feisty she was, even in her current state. She pulled away from him and started walking again. "What, are you stalking me?" She spun around to face him, attempting to walk backwards and successfully falling on her butt in the middle of the street. Elijah rolled his eyes as she laid down on the ground, groaning. "Mm llliijah, look at the stars!" She weakly lifted her hand, pointing loosely at the sky. Elijah looked up toward the sky and was astonished to be able to see the stars so well. He looked back down at Y/N, her eyes glued to the stars. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, already regretting what he was about to do. He stripped off his suit jacket put it over Y/N as he lowered himself to the cold street ground to lay next to her. He folded his hands behind his head and looked up at the stars with her.

"I've been thinking about you lately," he said to her quietly. She stayed still, continuing to look at the stars. A small diamond of a tear slid down her cheek but went unseen as Elijah continued. "I don't know you. And you don't know me. But, I think I'd like to take the time to know you," he slowly reached his hand to meet hers. She jerked her hand away and stood hastily, breathing fast. The coat slid off of her and unto the ground.

"Elijah, I don't know who you think you are. I am wild. I am fire. I am my own, and I will never be anyone's, ever again." her fight or flight response had sobered her up rather quickly and the fire in her eyes burned brightly. Elijah got up from the street, moving slowly.

"I quite enjoy your wild ferocity," he put his hands up in defense, trying to slowly move toward her. "I don't want you to be afraid or in pain," The walls around her heart were tall and dense, and he had the urge to tear them down and see her as she truly was. He couldn't help but feel that she would make one hell of a vampire.

Her chest rose and fell heavily. The single tear she had shed turned to multiple streaming down her cheeks and she ignored them. His eyes held a promise to her, one she didn't understand and was frustrated with. He owed her nothing, she owed him nothing. They were nothing. They were just two strangers. "I am not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of anyone. If anything, I'm the one people should be afraid of," she lifted her head defiantly.

His eyes held hers, his promise still in them. A glint of amusement flashed on his face. "I should be afraid of you?" He practically laughed at the idea and truth be told, Y/N’s bravery was faltering. He used to seem harmless, noble, a gentleman. As the conversation progressed, he seemed to become devilish and dark. Simultaneously dangerous and attractive. He took a step toward her but she held her ground, her chin still raised. He lifted his hand to her cheek and caressed her soft skin. She almost melted into his warm touch but held her ground. "You are fire. You are wild. You are your own. But I would like you to be mine as well," he wrapped his free arm around her waist, his other hand still caressing her cheek. She gasped and held onto him, suddenly off balance. Their eye contact hadn't broken once. "Let me show you what you could have if you chose me."

She puffed her chest out as he held her, recomposing herself. "I am not one to be tamed, Elijah. I wasn't born to obey or to let someone else be in control. I'm the one calling the shots here, not you." His eyes grew darker, and she couldn't tell if she was seeing things in the moonlight or if they had actually changed colours.

He leaned down, his face level with hers now and he breathed gently into her ear. He spoke softly, almost a whisper.

"Are you challenging me?"

-

Always taglist: @elijahs-wife @dumble-daddy @soul-revoir @akshi8278

Obey taglist: @njeancastro316 @alien-sida-2 @mikaelson-emma @raemikaelson @kpopgirlbtssvt @within-thehollowcrown @its-a-simply-me-thing bold means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you!

#Obey #the originals #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah x reader #elijah imagines #fic

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

My heart

A surprise in this one, although the header picture gives it away! Its a long one

Warnings: SVU crimes, hostage situation, hurt detectives, medical stuff, nightmares and shock.

Enjoy x

"Come on now, you need to put the gun down. If you shoot me you'll get life. Let us go, my partner needs help he is bleeding out. Come on -you don't want it to end like this"

*BANG*

The day started just like any other, you and Rafael taking far too long to get out of bed because he wouldn't stop putting his hand up your pj shirt.

"Come to me at lunch" he was kissing you up your neck and had his hand up your shirt running his pointer finger along the base of your breasts,

"I'll see what I can do Rafi, but right now we are going to be late"

Showering and dressing for work. You walked into the bullpen to find everyone already at their desks,

"Morning Sonny"

"Morning Y/N"

"Hey Fin, Hey Amanda"

"Morning"

Liv came rushing out of her office,

"We have a situation. Get your vests I'll fill you in, in the car"

A young women game creator had been kid napped and was being held hostage. She had been sexually and physically assaulted all being live streamed. You all made your way over to an old ware house where TARU traced the live streaming. The building was surrounded. Fin and Amanda found her tided up on a lower level while you and Sonny headed up to the roof with your weapons drawn. A helicopter hovering over spotted the 2 preps on the roof both armed.

Rafael was in his office, he couldn't concentrate on work. He couldn't get you out of his mind. He had always thought in his past relationships he was happy till he wasn't. But he was wrong none of them were happy. But with you he was so happy, he didn't need to kid himself. Everything you guys had was everything he had ever wanted. He wanted nothing more than to get you into his office that lunch time and show you how much he loved you. He picked up his phone and opened it to message you:

10.40 am- Rafael: Have lunch with me Hermosa, I need to see you xx

Just as he put down his phone Carmen came rushing in not even knocking,

"Mr Barba" she ran over to the TV and turned it on.

"We are crossing over live to the scene unfolding right now. We have been informed that two armed men are holding two SVU Detectives at gun point"

It then crossed over to a picture of the roof top, Sonny and You both on your knees with your arms up in the air with two men standing in front you both, pointing their weapons at you and them wearing your bullet proof vests. All colour drained from his face. Without a word he jumped up grabbing his jacket and phone and ran out not saying a word to Carmen who was holding back tears herself.

Sonny was laying on the floor, blood rushing out of his forehead. The main perp had pistol whipped him so hard that it knocked him out when he was trying to talk them both down when they took your vests and guns. EMT rushed in as soon as Fin gave the all clear after he shot one prep in the leg and the other surrender. Amanda rushed over to you and picked you up off the ground pulling you into her arms.

"Aman- I ca-" you tried to get your breath but you just couldn't, you grabbed onto her arm so tight she thought you would leave bruises. You felt like you were drowning.

"I need help over here NOW" Amanda screamed

Sonny was on the stretcher and his head bleed under control but still unconscious. Another EMT unit came rushing in with oxygen, and slung the mask onto your face. They sat you down on the stretcher in case you passed out.

"Is she going to be ok?" Amanda was nervous, she was sitting beside you trying to keep you sitting up while the EMT looked over you.

"Yeah she is in shock, her blood pressure and oxygen are dropping" one of the EMT's answered back.

You were light headed from the lack of oxygen, you lent your head on Amamda's shoulder, grabbed her hand and closed your eyes.

"I'm going to lay her down, she needs fluids" another EMT informed Amanda.

----

"Liv, why didn't you call me" Rafael ran up to her.

"Rafa, I'm sorry, I just, I didn't think. Everything happened so fast"

Just then Sonny was rushed down into the back of the ambulance. Not even asking for permission, Rafael ran towards the building,

"BARBA STOP"

He didn't listen he just kept going making his way up to the roof, he wasn’t sure what he was going to be walking into, but that didn't stop him. As he got to the roof top he didn't even stop to take a breath. He came rushing through the doors to see you grabbing onto Amanda's hand while the EMT's were putting a drip in. Amanda noticed him out if the corner of her eye and turned to face him.

"Barba, what are you doing up here? It's a crime sence you need go"

"I'm not leaving Rollins" and he rushed over

"What happened? Is she ok?"

"She is in shock"

Amanda let go of your hand and Rafael moved into her place grabbing your hand and running his other in your hair.

"Rafi" you smiled up at him

"We have stabilised her but she needs to be monitored, we will be taking her in"

"I'll ride with her" Amanda nodded at him

----

You opened your eyes and the light hit you,

"You’re awake" Rafael was standing over you, "I'll get a nurse"

"Your blood pressure is back to normal, and your oxygen levels have gone up. I would still like to keep you here for another couple of hours"

"Thanks you Doctor" Rafael answered back as the door walked out of the room.

"Rafi, where is Sonny?"

"He is been moved to a ward, they are keeping him over night. His concussion was bad, he needed a few stitches"

"But he is ok?" your eyes filled with tears.

"Yes mi Hermosa. He is fine" Rafael kissed your cheek as the door to your room opened again.

"Y/N" Liv, Amanda and Fin came walking in.

"You’re awake" Amanda lent down and hugged you, followed by Liv.

"Fin, I want to thank you. You saved my life" you grabbed his hand.

"No drama, just another day at the office" you all laughed.

"No Fin, seriously, thank you" Rafael held out his hand and shook Fin's.

"Take tomorrow off Y/N. It's been a hard day" Liv looked down at you with a half smile.

"No I'll be fine" you gave a small smile back.

"No Hermosa, Liv is right, take tomorrow off and go back next week"

4 hours later you were discharged. Rafael wanted to take you straight home but you wanted to see Sonny before you left.

You walked into his room and his eyes were closed. His forehead was swollen and bandaged up. Rafael stayed at the door and watched. You walked over to Sonny taking his hand into yours and held it. He opened his eyes and let his eyes adjust.

"Hey Y/N" he gave you his big smile.

"You OK Sonny?" a tear fell down your cheek.

"Better now I've seen you’re OK" he pulled you in and you hugged him back.

****

"Y/N, Y/N, its OK, it's just a dream, its OK sshh I'm here" 

You were sobbing into Rafael's neck. You had a horrible nightmare.

"OH Rafi, it was horrible. Why would I be having nightmares? I didn't after Lewis"

"It was a different thing Hermosa. Just remembering the photo that was on the news makes me feel sick. But it's OK I'm here. I'll keep you safe"

****

Rafael had gone out to get some lunch, and you had just put some clothes away when your phone started to ring,

"Hey Nick, I miss you"

"Hey Y/N, I miss you too. How are you feeling?"

"I'm OK, the nightmares have started though"

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Hang on a second, I have to get the door" Nick stayed quite on the other end of the phone, you walked to the door and opened it

"OH MY GOD NICK" you squealed and jumped into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. He lifted you up off the floor and spun you around. Tears fell from your eyes. He put you down and put his hands on your shoulders.

"What are you doing here?"

"Barba called me and told me you needed your best friend. I got on the first flight"

He pulled you in and kissed you on top of the head.

"How long are you here for?"

"Just the weekend. Barba told me you go back to work on Monday, so I fly out Sunday night"

"I've missed you so much Nick"

"I've missed you too. Zara wasn't happy that I came without her, but Maria took her to her parents this weekend"

"Oh I miss my girl"

"She misses her Tia too. So are you going to keep me in the hall or let me come in?" He laughed, you grabbed his hand and pulled him inside towards the kitchen.

"Barba's not back yet? Hope he gets my order right" Nick scoffed.

You turned on the jug, and spun and raised your eye brows at him.

"You two actually planned this together?"

"Hard to believe right" he laughed hard

"Where are you staying?"

"Here. Barba said you had an air mattress"

"Really? Wow" 

Just then Rafael walked through the door and rounded the corner with two brown paper bags.

"Amaro, how was your flight?" Rafael gave Nick a half smile.

You rushed over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"Yuck" Nick spat out with a laugh and you pulled away with reddened cheeks, Rafael had a pleasantly stunned look on his face.

"Thanks you Rafi, for organising this. You knew just what my heart needed" he winked back at you.

The weekend went by fast. Rafael asked for the same days off so he could be there for you. Nick wanted to go and see Sonny. You guys managed to catch him just before he was sent home.

"Jeez Y/N, I get one knock to the head and you bring your old partner back" you giggled at Sonny and wrapped your arm around his middle.

"Never Sonny, I don't want him back, your a better cook"  you stuck you tongue out at Nick, him laughing back at you.

You guys had a video call with Zara and she made Rafael promise to bring you for a visit. One night over dinner you spoke to Rafael and Nick honestly about how you were feeling after having another horrible nightmare the night before. You ended up in tears with Nick squeezing your hand tight and then Rafael pulling you into him and kissing you all over your face kissing away the tears.

Next thing the weekend was over and Nick had left. It was a tearful good bye from both of you,

"You call me if you need me, any time" he kissed your forehead, tears running down his cheeks.

"I always need you Nick. Thank you for being here for me" you hugged him tight leaving tears on his shirt.

----

You were in the study letting the air mattress down and tidying up. Rafael was standing at the door watching you. You had got frustrated because of how slow the air was coming out, so you laid on it, which made him burst laughing.

"Rafi, how long had you been standing there?" You frown up at him.

"Long enough" he smirked at you.

Once the mattress was down, he pulled you up to standing and placed his hands on your cheeks.

"Do you think you’re ready to go back to work?"

"I think so" you paused "nothing happened to me. I wasn't hurt"

"Physically" he ran his thumb over one side of your cheek

"Talking to you and Nick last night helped a lot Rafi, I didn't have a nightmare last night" he huffed at you.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive Rafi....I want to thank you for everything you have done for me over the last couple of days. Organising Nick to come, I know it must have been hard for you to find out what happened on the news. But you have done nothing but take care of me. I love you, thank you so much"

"Your my whole heart Hermosa, I love you more than anything, I would do anything for you"

#ada rafael barba #ada barba #rafael barba x yn #Raul Esparza #BRING BACK BARBA #law and order svu #barba x reader #rafael barba #barba and reader #rafael barba fanfiction #fantasy #fanfic #SVU fanfiction #SVU FANDOM #svu fan #nbc svu #svu x reader #we love barba #rafael barba imagine #barba fanfic #barba fanfiction #fanfiction #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x #rafael x reader #rafael barba x reader #reader insert #nick amaro x you #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro

[nuoyipeach]

Fresh Start (seulyong os)

Feb. 18 2021

Taeyong regrets many things.

Being a coward in school. Bottling up his feelings. Never confessing to his best friend. Holding in the urge to do it even at her wedding.

Now he regrets something more than ever. He wished he knew. He wished he could have saved her from this. He wished he was the one going home and making her smile, not going home late only to make her upset.

Even her child. He wished she was his. He wished he was her dad. And frankly, the six-year-old sometimes wanted the same.

Taeyong brought her cake on her birthdays, her dad would come home and sleep. Taeyong helped her with her homework, her dad went on business trips. Taeyong helped her prepare a surprise birthday party for her mother, her dad didn't even remember.

"Why did mummy ever marry dad?"

"Don't say that Arin. If your mum and dad didn't meet you wouldn't be here." Taeyong answered as they drove home from school. Another thing, Taeyong always took her home when her mother couldn't, her dad would simply drive past.

"Still, I'd rather not be here than have a dad who never looks at me." she sighed. For a seven-year-old, Arin was quick to catch how absent her father always was. "I wish I was your baby... You're the best."

Taeyong smiled at her, a little sadly. How he wished the same.

Especially now that he found out something. Something he knew would break Arin's heart for sure. He didn't even have the courage to tell Seulgi what he saw, but he pushed himself to it knowing this was not right in any means.

He regrets even more now. He regrets not being around when she was dating this man to see his true colours. He regrets not stopping them from marrying for his own selfish reasons, because he knew for sure he would never think to hurt Seulgi like this.

He'd never have another lady behind her back.

Reaching Arin's home, he let her run in while he helped carry her bag in. "Arin can you call your mum out? I have to speak with her." the little girl nodded and ran in to call out her mother. Taeyong walked in and sat on the couch, shaking his leg and looking down as anxiety ate him up.

"Hey Taeyong." he heard her cheerful voice, the one that always made him happy. But now it made him sad. He looked up with a sad smile and watched as she sat next to him, already sensing something wrong. "What happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Taeyong looked right in her eyes. "Seulgi, you're my best friend, since forever almost. And I'd do anything to keep you happy. But... There's something I have to tell you."

"OK... What is it?"

"I... I caught him with someone else. Thrice actually..."

"Get out."

Taeyong's eyes widened, confused by her sudden command. "What?"

"Get out Taeyong. I never thought you'd go this far." Seulgi stood up, obviously angry as her hands fisted her shirt.

Taeyong stood as well. "What are you talking about Seulgi? I'm trying t-"

"I know what you’re doing. I know that you've liked me for a while now. And honestly, I'm upset you didn't tell me this before I got married to someone else. But that's over for me because I already had my love life, and I don't care for your bullsh*t stories to break up my family. I'm happy the way I am."

Taeyong was shocked, by every part of her sentence. The fact that she knew, the fact that she was upset, the fact that she doesn't care, but mostly the fact that she thinks he's lying to get her back. Anger boiled up in him, as Taeyong was not someone who liked being accused of things.

"Seulgi, as much as I still have feelings for you, that's not why I'm doing this. I did see him with another lady, three times. I'm not telling you this to break you up, trust me I would have done that long before you married. I'm telling you this because you're still my best friend, and I don't want you to suffer." Seulgi simply pointed at the door, motioning him to get out. No matter what Taeyong was the angriest here. He scoffed and turned to the door. "Have it your way then. You won't be hearing from me anymore I guess, since this is the part you refuse to speak to me further thinking I'll make up more stories to break your family. Well, I have better things to do than this, so don't bother."

Taeyong regretted what he did. He regrets cutting off from Seulgi just like that. He regrets not answering her calls. He regrets not picking up Arin from school.

He regrets not being there when the car sped up towards her.

He drove as fast as he could, reaching the hospital in no time and ran to where Seulgi had texted him they were. He reached the room after going up several floors in the elevator, and peeked in, suddenly losing all strength in his body.

He dragged himself inside and stood next to Seulgi's crouched body beside the bed, a small body laid in it covered with mask and other such equipment. Seeing her face broke Taeyong's heart even more.

"Arin..." he gently cupped her cheek in one hand and held her shoulder in the other, lightly shaking her. "Arin, wake up. I'm here, it's me uncle Yong. Baby wake up please, and I'll take you to the fair. Remember you promised me you'd get first in class? It doesn't matter. Wake up and we'll go right away baby." his voice trembled while Seulgi's loud sobs continued and he couldn't help break down soon. "Arin please, you- you need to wake up. Don't make mummy sad, you hate that. Arin..."

Unable to hold it in any longer, he let his head fall into her chest and cried out loud. "Arin I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry baby for not being there... I shouldn't have cut the call, I should've known better. Please baby wake up..."

Taeyong rarely left Arin's side. After Seulgi, he was the second person who was always with her, except for work and when he had to go home. He'd sit there and read to her like he did during her bedtime when they had sleepovers or tell her about any promotion he got at his job. Seulgi would watch and was happy, but Taeyong would catch her on her phone talking to her husband, who only came once in the past month. It was to the point Taeyong memorised what excuses he'd give.

I'm busy.

I'm tired.

Tomorrow

I've got meetings.

Sorry, too much paperwork.

Even the couple’s parents came more than he did himself obviously. When Seulgi's parents came they were beyond happy to see Taeyong. They've always favoured him when growing up, and also knew about his feelings for Seulgi but he told them to keep quiet about it. Although again, he regrets that.

But they were also the ones other than Taeyong who knew about her husband's dirty secret. Except for Seulgi and her in-laws, many friends and family knew. But when Taeyong told them how she had reacted they kept quiet, knowing she'd be too broken to hear, especially now.

When Seulgi's in-laws visit, they always give Taeyong the stank eye, as if he was here to cause trouble.

"Seulgi where's my son?" her mother-in-law asked as she eyed Taeyong going through Arin's daily health checks.

"He said he's busy again. He only came the second day." she replied to which her mother-in-law sighed and left the room. Seulgi's mother was present and looked as her daughter also sighed, sick of having to deal with her in laws always questioning about her husband, when they could easily contact their own son themselves.

And that's another thing both her mother and Taeyong noticed.

It had been a month and she was sick of seeing her daughter remain so naïve, and now she broke her limit. As her in laws left, she shut the door immediately and locked it, then looked at her daughter who stood confused. Taeyong's eyes widened and he quickly turned away, busying himself with Arin.

"Seulgi how much more is it going to take you to realise that he's cheating on you and that his family is fully aware? How much longer do I have to watch my only child and grandchild go through this mess? Why are you being such a rock head? What do you have to be so protective over? What's wrong with you!?!"

Seulgi stood shocked. The last time she heard this was her fight with Taeyong, and to hear it from her mother caught her off guard.

"Mum what do you mean? Why are you saying this?"

"Taeyong told you, yet you didn't listen. Well listen to your mother, everyone's seen him around with that other lady, even your cousin. Yet we never could tell you because Taeyong stopped us when he didn't see. He saw how happy you were, especially with Arin around, he didn't want us to ruin your happiness, that's how much he loved and cared for you. But when he saw it himself, he regretted so many things, you don't know how we had to stop him from doing anything rash. He finally picked up the courage to tell you, but you didn't listen. Look what happened, Arin's in coma! I'm not blaming either of you, but maybe if you would've listened to him and not break out a fight none of this would have happened in the first place!"

Seulgi tugged her hair back, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Taeyong get out." she suddenly mumbled.

Taeyong looked up surprised. "What?"

Seulgi turned around in a rush and faced him. "Get. Out. Go, leave. I don't want you around right now." Taeyong looked at her mother who signalled him to do as she said. He put down the clipboard of Arin's checks and silently walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Her mother then faced back to her only to see tears streaming out of her eyes, her legs giving in as she fell sitting on the empty space of Arin's bed.

The elder lady walked up to her and held her hand. She was her mother, and if anything she knew her feelings the most over anyone else in their lives. "Honey, I know something's not right with you. Tell me, talk to me." she cupped Seulgi's face and raised her head up to look at her. "You're my baby no matter how old you grow, I know from the start honey, that you've loved Taeyong as much as he loves you still."

Seulgi cried even more, hiding her face in her mother's chest. Her mother combed her hair as she herself let out tears seeing what kind of a mess her child was in, something no loving mother would want their children through.

"Talk to me Seulgi, please."

"I loved him mum, I still do. But he was so distant with me suddenly, I didn't know why. That's why I moved on, that's why I met Arin's dad, that's why I married him because no matter how long I waited, Taeyong never said a thing. No matter how many times I messed around with guys, Taeyong kept quiet." she felt her mother move away slightly and lost the warmth for a second before she felt it again.

But it felt different, and she knew why. She fisted her hands hard and started hitting the body holding her. "You're an asshole! Why didn't you say anything! Why did you let me do all that! Why didn't you force me to break up back then! Why can't you be selfish! Why Taeyong, just why didn't you do something!"

Taeyong's face wasn't any drier as he had heard the entire conversation she had with her mother, who now stood outside instead. He realised how his kindness was a pain, how his warm heart back then only led to so many being hurt now. How he regrets not being selfish back then.

"I still love you Seulgi, but I'm such a coward. I didn't know you loved me back, I didn't know all those stunts you pulled back then was to get my attention. I didn't want to hurt you, I wanted you to be happy, even if that meant losing you to another man..."

"F*ck you Lee Taeyong!" Seulgi screamed as she stood up, shocking Taeyong who knew for the longest that she was not one to curse this easily. "F*ck you and your kindness!" she continued to cry. Taeyong pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry into his chest while his hands caressed her back.

"Leave him. He's not worth your time. Even as we speak he's off with someone else."

Seulgi pulled away and stared at him, crying suddenly stopped as her eyes burned with anger. "I won't leave him." she said catching him off guard. "Not until you kiss me."

Taeyong was even more shocked, knowing it wasn't right. "I... You're married to someone else, I can't kiss a marr-"

"Shut up!" she pushed him away. "If you're still going to be the kind person in this situation, then forget it. I won't leave him without a fight, until I do what he's putting me through. Kiss me, or I won't listen to you, or even my mother. I'll stay with this man even if he thr-"

Taeyong had had enough of her talk, enough of her stubbornness, something he was pretty fond of but not now. And he did as she wished. He grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly, colliding her lips with his own. Seulgi wasn't one to wait and her hands wrapped around his neck tight as she returned the kiss. He let go of her arm and snaked both his hands around her waist, both adults pulling their bodies closer to each other wanting not a single waste of space between them, wanting to make up for the time they lost all those years.

Out of breath, Taeyong pulled away slightly, their foreheads still pressed together as they both took shallow breaths. His eyes were fixed at her swollen lips before looking directly into hers, and suddenly he saw a glint of joy in them.

"Only you could ever make me break laws and morals..." he spoke quietly to which she chuckled.

"Sometimes it's better to be the bad person Taeyong, especially for revenge." she replied before claiming his lips again. But Taeyong was quick to pull away this time, his hold on her now gentle.

"What will you do now?"

"I'm calling him now, our marriage is over. I'll get annulment papers tomorrow itself."

Taeyong smiled proudly at her, before he remembered Arin. "What about Arin?"

Seulgi turned behind looking at her child, still laying lifeless on the bed. She thought deeply for a second, then turned back to Taeyong as she figured it all out simply. "She loves you, more than her father. He was rarely present while you were. You took care of her when he couldn't even feed her. She loves you and sees you as the man in her life, more than she even sees him as her father. Whatever happens, I know for sure she wouldn't care much if he's gone. Hurt yes, that she no longer has a father, but with you around, she won't be sad for long."

It wasn't as easy as she thought as her in laws gave quite a fight, denying the cheating accusations Seulgi threw at their son and claiming that she cheated instead. It wasn't until Seulgi swore on Arin that she never did such and yelled that even they knew about their son's affair but were too ashamed to admit it. And as usual the man arrived late, and to his family's surprise didn't hesitate much on agreeing to the divorce, even giving Seulgi full custody over Arin with no request of seeing her weekly.

During the whole ordeal Taeyong stood by Seulgi's side along with her mother, as he was her lawyer. And he didn't miss the obvious stank eye her in-laws kept giving her still, as if he was the cause of all this. At one point her mother-in-law even stood against him.

"You set this up, didn't you? You're the reason for this mess!"

"Ma'am your son himself has agreed to the annulment and accepted the claims. There's nothing more to this."

"Then why are you always around? I know for sure you got Seulgi to do this!"

Taeyong huffed dropping the file with the ex-couples’ signatures onto the table, anger clear in his eyes. "Ma'am, if there's anybody to blame here it's your son. Seulgi has been my best friend since elementary, me always being there was nothing out of the norm. Trust me in different situations I would have befriended your son as well through her. But I never attempted it because I knew what he's been doing. We've got many witnesses against him as well, so please don't make this so hard for me. I'm nothing but a lawyer here, and I'd like to solve my cases quickly and quietly, no drama."

The elder woman was about to speak when her son, now Seulgi's ex-husband, held her back. "Mum stop being so dramatic. What's done is done, let it go. I really don't care about this right now." he spoke, his attitude nonchalant and turned back to his phone.

Taeyong didn't want to drag this any longer do collected the papers together and filed them. "It will take two weeks to officiate, until then you can start moving out and discuss on possessions. If you need any help deciding those you can give me a call, however I expect that it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Not at all." the man replied before turning to Seulgi. "You can take all of your things and Arin's, and whatever I had gifted you too like the car, just take it."

"How can you give her so easily?" his mother yelled again.

"Because it's her right?" he replied sarcastically. "I'm the one who cheated, besides what's me keeping those things going to do for me. I don't need anything to remind me of them laying around the house."

Seulgi's blood boiled at his words. How could she have wasted all those years of her life on such a man who doesn't even show care about his own child? She looked away from them and saw Taeyong filing the final paper before standing up.

"Well then, that's all. You may leave now. You will get the letter in two weeks." and not surprisingly, her ex-in-laws were quick to leave along with the man. Seulgi's family sat there and sighed looking at each other then Taeyong, who just sat back after putting the file in his urgent cabinet.

"Well, I guess we should go now." her father spoke up. "We need to help you pack your things and move out right. Hopefully doesn't take too long, I don't want to be in that house."

Seulgi nodded sadly, when Taeyong spoke up. "No need, I've arranged for movers, they'll do it for you. I'll be there, you can come too if you want to Seulgi, but they're going there in about half an hour, so it shouldn't take too long."

The family smiled at him in gratitude, when they noticed Seulgi's fatigued face. Her mother held her hand and turned to face her. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Where will I go?" she whispered. "I can't move in with you guys with so much. It's a burden. I'm unemployed too, I can't afford a house now..." she held back her tears, when she noticed everyone quiet. Looking up she was shocked to see them all smiling mischievously, except for Taeyong who had a nervous look.

"Well," her father spoke up, "you actually do have a place all ready for you, and Arin." he said, eyes darting towards Taeyong, causing Seulgi to turn to him too.

"What do you mean?"

Taeyong rubbed the back of his neck, nervous from thinking what to say. "Well... I should have asked you, but I prepared my house for you to move in, with me." he looked at her directly and saw her bewildered expression. "I mean if you don't want to its completely fine, we can help you find somewhere else. Or you can stay with your parents and store your stuff at my place for now."

Seulgi bit her bottom lip looking down at her fumbling hands, all eyes in the room on her. "I... I don't know for sure. I don't want to bother you too much. And I have to watch over Arin. An-”

“Seulgi,” her mother cut her off, “how much longer are you going to underestimate Taeyong?” she looked at her mother, slightly confused. “You should go to his house with him now. Leave the movers to us, what’s more important is to change you Seulgi.“

In the next fifteen minutes Seulgi stood with Taeyong in the elevator heading down to the garage to his car. It was an awkward silence, until Taeyong suddenly moved closer and held her hand. “I have to ask you. Do you perhaps have something else in mind?”

Seulgi looked up to see his saddened eyes. “What do you mean?”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to be with me. It feels like I’m forcing you, and I don’t want that. If you want to be on your own with Arin go ahead, I’ll still be by your side, so there’s nothing for you to worry about losing.“

Seulgi chewed her bottom lip. Truth was, she loved the idea. Waking up every morning next to Taeyong, having his arms around her, waiting for him to come home from work while she prepared his meal, having dinner as they talked about the day, spending the nights together cuddling (or making love). She always wished it was him. When she was married for the past eight years, she completely erased those fantasies from her mind, but whenever she saw him playing with Arin or helping her with errands, she couldn’t help wishing it was him for a split second before reminding herself she was a married woman.

Now she doesn’t have to stop it. But another worry filled her mind.

She wanted to give him time, she wanted to take some time herself as a matter of fact. It felt so fast, one moment she’s married, the next she’s divorced, the next she’s moving with another man already. All while her daughter, the light of her life, was in the hospital.

The elevator bell got her attention back to reality, and she quickly followed behind as Taeyong had already walked out, evidently hurt by her silence as an answer. While in the car driving to his house, which she realised she barely even knew the way to, she thought of an answer, not wanting to leave him with silence.

“Taeyong...” he replied with a hum, “I... I don’t know what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, I want nothing more to start my life over with you. But... It feels so fast. I thought we could have a fresh start, take a step at a time you know. But at the same time, I don’t want to go through it all again. Then there’s Arin. I need to think about her. It’s obvious he won’t be taking part in her life anymore, I’m all she has...”

The car came to a halt and she realised they had already reached Taeyong’s double storey house. She peeked around and found it was in a quiet neighbourhood, and it was big but felt very homely. She watched as he got out and followed behind him until entering the house. Taeyong not once has said a word to her, and it was starting to make her emotional. Did she hurt him with what she said? She stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to fight back her tears, when a hand slipped into her own.

“I want to show you something.“ Taeyong said softly before pulling her along across the living room to the second floor. There was another hallway, then what seemed like a family living area, then three doors, then what she figured were the rooftop patio doors at the end of the hallway. He tugged her to one of the doors and motioned for her to open it. All the while Seulgi wondered why he had such a big house to himself, but shook off the thoughts as she turned the handle and entered...

A kid's room. The walls were coloured baby pink, a white high platform bed with drawers on the side, a shelf with several toys and books, and a table with colour pencils scattered on them. She also spotted two doors, one guessing the bathroom while the other looked like a closet room, though it seemed locked.

However, everything looked as if no one had touched a thing for the longest time.

“You know, whenever Arin stayed over, this was her room.“ he suddenly said catching her attention as Seulgi looked at him, obviously confused why he would dedicate an entire room to her child. “Don’t take this the wrong way, I had no intention of breaking your family. But I also had no intention starting my own. I felt like staying single for the rest of my life was the better option. When Arin started staying over, it made me feel alive to have someone around. And when her visits became frequent, I figured giving her a room here wouldn’t have been a bad idea. Whenever you were busy and she stayed, I’d let her take over this place. Ever since our, well, fight, this room became unused. It hurt me, if I may be honest, that I lost you in more than just one way. This room wasn’t just for Arin, but whenever I felt sick of my life I’d come here and look at her drawings. She loves to draw, same as you, and looking at them would help me relive childhood moments, when I was happy. When I was with you.“

Seulgi looked back at the room, walking towards the wall with all of Arin's drawings hung up. Some were of her and her mother, some with Seulgi's parents, and some with Taeyong.

None of her own father.

She then continued to the shelf of toys, before looking back at Taeyong. "You bought her so many things..." she said when he gave a chuckle.

"They're ours."

"What?"

Taeyong walked next to her, looked at the shelf before picking out a small toy and handing it to her. "They're our toys, well some of them, the ones that survived I guess. I had them in a box in my basement, and Arin somehow found them. I must say, she gave me quite a heart attack when I couldn't find her that time." he laughed softly remembering the day he had almost lost his life unable to find the child, only to see her playing with the toys in the basement.

"You gave them to her?"

"Yes. Back then there was nothing in this room except for the shelf. When I saw her playing with them, I allowed her to have them to herself and let her put them on the shelf so she could get them easily. That was when I decided to give her this room."

Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat down with her. Her hands felt around the covers. "And this bed?"

"I got it recently, after our talk at the hospital. I guess I got excited to finally have you with me, and I figured the first step to our relationship would be Arin's life."

Seulgi didn't care to hold back her tears, moving closer into his arms. "How did you accept..." she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Accept what?"

"Arin." she moved away and spoke. "Any other person would have been hurt to see the person they love marry away and have a family of their own. How did you love Arin so much, despite her father being him?"

Taeyong sighed, hand running through her hair before cupping her cheek. "In my eyes Arin was your child. Yours and only yours. Of course I acknowledged her father, but I treated her like my own. I sound selfish, I'll admit I sometimes thought I was going crazy, a psycho for having such thoughts. But I couldn't help it... Especially when I found out he was cheating, I knew I had to be there for you two."

Seulgi leaned against his chest, and with his arm around her, Taeyong slolwy laid down with her. Her hand stroked his clothed chest while his fingers threaded through her locks hummin softly to their favourite song since they were young. They stayed like that in silence for a long time, until he felt her head turn to look up at him so he faced her.

Seulgi stared at him quietly but he could tell she was thinking hard about something. “Taeyong...” he hummed in response. “Will you please adopt Arin?”

Seulgi was moved in by the next day, and Taeyong showed her their new bedroom (technically not a new bedroom, but new to them as a couple). He also helped her move Arin’s things into her room.

A week after she received the divorce letter, the two were already at his office again signing marriage papers, and Taeyong’s adoption over Arin. Seulgi almost teared up watching him sign the adoption papers, and gave him permission to change Arin’s last name to his. It wasn’t just for him though, but Seulgi didn’t want Arin to wake up as that man’s daughter anymore. She wanted Arin to have a better life, with a better father.

The couple had also agreed to not hold any sort of ceremony or such until Arin was better, not just awake, but awake and living. They both prioritised the young girl’s life more than anything else to them, and ever since her doctor allowed for Arin to be kept at home, they even slept in the same room with bedding on the floor, not leaving her alone for a second.

Taeyong once caught Seulgi up at night, crying holding her daughter’s hand. He got up and sat closer to her, hugging her from behind. "It will get better, I promise." he whispered, his hand holding hers which held onto Arin's. She cried even more, turning towards him and hiding her face in his chest.

"I miss her. I feel like I'm losing her day by day. I can't even remember the last words she said to me anymore. I keep having dreams, hallucinations, that she's here with us, playing around the house. Whenever you go to work, when I'm cooking or doing anything, I keep seeing her..."

Taeyong shushed her kissing her forehead, his hand now in her hair while the other pulled her into his lap and stayed at her hips. He knew what she meant, he noticed it too. Whenever Seulgi was silently doing an errand, he'd catch her look straight ahead and suddenly smile. He knew why, but he never bothered her about it, scared she may have not realised it and would only make her worry more.

"I'm tired Taeyong... I feel like giving up."

"Hush Seulgi, don't say or do that. Don't think about it. We will have her back, I promise."

Seulgi only sighed, letting out more tears. "We've done everything. Talk, play music, they said she'll wake up soon. When is soon? It's killing me. I’m going crazy."

Taeyong silently kept craddling her until he felt her go limp and knew she was asleep by then. Slowly he laid her back down on the floor bed they had, not once letting go of her hand as he laid beside her.

As if Arin’s position wasn’t hard enough, Seulgi cried locking herself in the closet. It was Valentine’s Day a week ago, & the couple had decided to take just one day to themselves and rest easy to spend some alone time.

Now she regrets not taking precaution, thinking her timing was safe.

“Seulgi, please open up. I saw it, in the trash. Love come out so we can talk it through. I won’t push you for anything, you know that Seulgi.“

She opened the door and threw herself into Taeyong’s arms, wanting nothing more than silence. Taeyong knew this, and gently carried her up to their bed, still hugging her. They remained quiet for a long time, until she took slower breaths and eased her body. He looked down at her trying to see her expression, giving her forehead a gentle kiss.

“Do you want to keep it?“ he asked softly. “It’s entirely up to you. I’m sorry this happened so suddenly, you have every right to make whatever decision it is.“

Seulgi looked up at him, then hid in his chest again. She didn’t know what to do. For some reason even she couldn’t think of, she had too many conflicitng thoughts going through her head.

What if another child takes their attention away from Arin?

What if Taeyong really disapproves of abortion?

What if having the baby gives them some peace?

What if Arin wakes up happier than ever to this baby?

What if Taeyong forgets about Arin having his own child?

What if hearing the baby will wake up Arin?

What if...

“I don’t know...” she cried again. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so many things, what if Arin loves it and wakes up, or what if you push Arin aside...”

“Hey!“ Taeyong pushed her out and held her by the shoulders. “You know I love Arin more than anything. Why would you say that? That hurts my feelings... I love her Seulgi. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have done so much for her even before our relationship.“

Seulgi looked down feeling guilty of having such thoughts. She knew very well how much Taeyong loved her daughter, how much he would give up for her. She looked back at him and shook her head apologetically. “I’m sorry... You’re right, I shouldn’t have thought of that.”

Taeyong sighed before hugging her again. “It’s OK. But tell me, about this now.” he said holding her head to his chest.

After a long silence, Seulgi looked back at him with a nervous look. “Do you think Arin would love a younger sibling?”

Taeyong smiled and cupped her cheek. “Arin’s a sweet girl. I’m sure she’d love nothing more than becoming an older sister. Remember how she took care of you when you got sick, and she was only five.” he chuckled softly. Seulgi smiled and looked down to their intertwined hands, the ring on his finger bringing her some sort of reassurance of trust.

part 2 (cuz this is getting too long😅)

#fanfiction #kpop fanfic #nct #oneshot #nctvelvet #red velvet #kpop oneshots #nct taeyong #red velvet seulgi #seulgi #seulyong

[bumbershots]

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER THREE: WHO ARE YOU?

Author’s note: Hello! Once more I would like to thank you all for the love this story’s been getting, it truly blows my mind. I am also looking for a beta reader so if anyone out there is interested let me know! (: Let’s pick up right where we left off...

Story masterlist ** Word count: 2.3K **

Two souls don't find each other by simple accident, Harry thought after taking a seat for the first time that night, his feet were probably going to be swollen tomorrow, they were killing him already. But he wasn't keen on turning down a dance from the girl collapsing in the settee right next to him. A slow Amy Winehouse song was their cue to rest.

"Do you want a beer?" Her voice sounded a bit hoarse, probably from all the giggling and singing she did while dancing the night away.

"Yes please."

He watched her trot to the small bar on the other side of the flat, focused on how the multiple bracelets bounced in her left wrist as she instructed her brother which beer to give her. As she came back to take her previous seat, he felt a small wave of anxiety for wanting nothing more than to start a conversation with her, as she handed him the beer. Usually it was the other way around, but in most of the cases, people wanted to know his persona.

He knew the silence was becoming awkward, but he was still debating whether to ask about her upbringing or what she did for work, whatever the case was, he didn't want to make a fool out of himself, he almost never seemed to be that lucky.

"You're not used to people being calm around you, are you?" Alma’s frown os curiosity is a mirror to the one on the musician's face.

"Yes and no?" Harry's coy tone makes her smile warmly and shake her head in denial, "so, I'm Hampstead station guy?" Her eyes widen, a shy smile appears on her full lips before she takes another large sip of her drink.

"It's unlikely to find the same person thrice in the tube! I told my friend Laura, it felt like a glitch in the matrix." She answers and he lets out an amused laugh.

"For the record, I wasn't following you, at all..."

"I know, you just had to take the same line I did and it was a happy coincidence," she interrupts him, the new song gathers a few more dancers and Harry wonders if she will ask him to dance again, "although it would've made a great anecdote for my YouTube channel; story time, a famous musician follows me around the city possibly plotting my painful death." She joked as she gingerly flashed her hands before the two of them, as if presenting the latest play from the West End.

It was Harry's eyes turn to be wide and smack his hand into his forehead.

"You have a YouTube channel?" His interest was genuine and Alma made herself more comfortable on the sofa, before proceeding to fill him in about what that was about, just videos about her 'sort of interviewing remarkable people' or so she claimed.

It was something that started as a class project back when she was seventeen, trying to get good grades to win a scholarship and study abroad —none of those things happened. She kept doing it afterwards because it was too much fun, once she interviewed all her friends, she moved onto her family. "Believe me when I tell you, that I have more relatives than I should!" With a smile as big as hers, he sighed before breathing 'lucky' as his heart sped and she continued.

Restaurant owners, chefs, firefighters, barristers, doctors, accountants, waitresses, sexual workers, sex shop employees, bankers, homeless people, hairdressers and apparently every person from her home country had been on the informal interview series. Harry was impressed with the whole concept and her.

"I sort of abandoned it a little when I moved here last year, it was crazy busy the first couple of months and the whole bureaucracy... and I was a little homesick to be honest." For the first time in the night, her voice is thinner, he has to lean in a few inches to hear better, "I miss my parents, my cousins, my aunt, my grandparents. But this is something I've wanted for the longest time you know?" Her eyes bore into his, allowing him to see the vulnerability swimming in them, "I've never felt like an outsider here, never got lost in the tube, took the wrong bus or anything like that. Isn't it weird?" Harry smiled at the sentiment, thoughts of his latest trip to Japan flashing before him.

"No, I think it's marvellous that you feel that way." He cannot be real, is the only thing running through her mind like a restless hamster in its wheel.

Harry and Alma talked about everything they didn’t have in common, despite the brief interruptions to do some shots and drink champagne with the birthday boy. Their families were discussed, their favourite things to do in the summer. Alma even asked him how was work going, as if she didn’t know that he was one of th world’s most successful artists. Harry was thrilled to joke through their drinks and the girl wasn't shy to ask him for a couple more dances. None of them noticed the partying dying around them, it was only after Fernando said his goodbyes to his laughing sister, that they noticed how late/early it actually was.

Before they knew it, golden hues streamed through the window behind them as Freddie walked out of his room and offered them coffee.

"I'm never drinking straight vodka again," Freddie mumbled to himself after finishing his cup of coffee.

"At least it wasn't Vodquila like last time," Alma's words make him groan but agree. "I should go now, need a shower and a healthy breakfast."

After Harry also admitted he needed to be on his way, with all their belongings gathered and after saying goodbye to a very ill Freddie, neither Harry or Alma looked forward to their imminent separation. He had spent hours hearing how busy she is, when not recording content, she was working at Wenzel's and teaching Spanish to her neighbour's daughter on the weekends. Still, he was determined to meet with her again.

As soon as they started moving down the street, Harry noticed the next one was where he had to turn right in order to go home. It wasn't a short walk but the most effective route for sure.

"So, the bus stop is that way," Alma nodded her head to the left, smirking knowingly as she stuffs her hands in her coat pockets.

"Of course," they had come to a rolling stop at the corner. Harry suddenly felt beyond nervous about asking the girl for her phone number. "Thank you, for keeping me company last night." It was amazing he wanted to add, but licked his lips quickly instead.

"You mean keeping you from catching up with all your friends," she corrected him.

Harry shakes his head and smiles, the dimples graciously adorning his cheeks, his racing heart giving him the last push needed to finally ask. "Do you think we could go, like for coffee... sometime?” With that she laughed, immediately memorising the sound of it, her loud cackle is one of the nicest things he has heard in awhile.

"Only if I can buy you something from the selection of pastries." Harry laughed loudly, completely relieved by her answer. She dug around her purse for a moment before taking out a pen and what seemed to be an old receipt, quickly scribbling down her number and handing it to him.

"I'll call you," he beamed, carefully placing the piece of paper in his wallet. He'd be an idiot to lose such a precious fragment of information.

"Looking forward to it," Alma smiled at him for one last time before she started walking to the opposite direction. "See you around Harry." His face was a bit puffy from not having slept properly, but she would be lying to say he didn’t look adorable at the same time.

He waved and watched her walked away, her sweet and tired morning smile seemed to be engraved into the musician's mind as he headed home.

The air was still a bit cold, but the heat was starting to rise and plague London for the rest of the day, the hot summer everyone's been yearning for was finally here, even Harry could feel it in his bones as he continued down his path. He was still highly enamoured by the amazing night he spent sharing a piece of himself with Alma. His feet felt heavy, were even burning a little, but it was nothing as he made his way through his home gate twenty minutes later.

He decided to get some toast and a cuppa for breakfast, his high spirits not faltering even one bit although he could feel the consequences from the all-nighter already with each yawn. After eating he decided to take a shower that got him ready for a well deserved sleep in his comfortable bed.

Waking up around six o'clock startles him at first, Harry is well rested now but a bit grumpy for the weird taste on his tongue, something usual after drinking beer. He scolds himself for not brushing his teeth earlier as he walks in his bathroom. The cool tiles against his bare feet wake him up a bit more. After some needed dental hygiene, Harry gets dressed to go out and pick up his sister for their weekly dinner. Hopefully he can convince her to stay in, that way he can go on and on about the events from the night before.

His feet still hurt, he can even feel a blister underneath his big toe. But it doesn't bother him, it's actually a nice reminder of the incredible things that miraculously happened. Harry knew that since Alma was related to Fernando, someone that was bound to be in his life for the next six months or so, there was a big chance they would've met at some point. But he'd rather think it was fate, some sort of good karma coming round, he stared at her contact on his phone, still charmed by the fact that she gave it to him on the back of a receipt. Ignoring that she only did it that way, because the thought of asking for his mobile to enter it herself, was a very bold move. And Alma wasn’t really that confident, not when his green eyes were boring into hers anyway.

"When are you gonna call her then?" Gemma's voice snaps him out of his daydream for the third time during their quiet dinner in her flat. "What is it? You've got that look."

"What look?" He asks before his sister frowns and pinches her bottom lip with her thumb and index finger. It's his nervous quirk, he sighs, "I don't know, I'm just so nervous." Without a valid reason, he knows the girl is so lovely, maybe that's why.

"You're afraid of fucking it up," she knows, Harry nods. "Well, you could tell her that, perhaps on a text—

"—I want to call her, texting her will make me feel a wanker." Gemma smiles at her little brother, he looked uncharacteristically unsure of himself but nonetheless excited. It was endearing how the first thing he told her after crossing her home's threshold was 'my life is officially a chick flick!' Before proceeding to explain with detail about the whole situation.

"What about a text that reads: hello, this is Harry please save my number so when I find the guts to call you, you don't think it's a telemarketing scam," Gemma might be joking and mocking him all at once, but has a point. A text so she also has his number, makes the situation more even, she can call him too. "Assuming she gave you a real phone number."

"What?" Harry is mortified.

"I'm kidding, you should've seen your face," his sister wanted to drag a bit more her joke, but the preoccupied look on his face stopped her. Gemma couldn't wait to tell their mum, knowing that she would be just as absorbed. "There's nothing wrong with showing interest right away. If you want this to be honest and genuine, set an example." She finished before taking the last bite of pizza.

Harry knew that to be true, but now he was left wondering if it was the right time for him. Had he really left behind all the ghosts and baggage from his past? Or was he still carrying them in the new tattoos of his knees?

Despite his sister's encouraging words about how nothing could go wrong this early with Alma, he couldn't help but wonder if his still grieving heart was ready.

He takes his time walking back home, not caring if it was a really long one, he was aware of the curious eyes once he reached the Southbank but paid no attention to them. He welcomed the chill breeze, hoping for it to cool his boiling mind. Remembering the last time he walked along the river arms around his former flame, her laughter still ringing in his ears, her tender kisses in his knuckles, her delicious scent flying away with the airstream into London's sunshine.

Missing someone is not wrong, Harry reminds himself.

There's no point going down the rabbit hole of what ifs about their relationship. Harry can admit his mistakes, no matter how hard it comes to him, he can also apologise wholeheartedly. He did all those things already, months ago. Which is why he was able to keep her as a friend, not a close one, more like an acquaintance. And she's happy, he can see that, knows it.

Why does he feel like he's still drowning? He's already been pulled from the vast ocean of hers. Harry groans, struggles to open his gate, his good spirits from this morning nowhere to be found.

He doesn't know if it's the memory of her, the fear of loneliness, coincidence and laziness, or a bad habit? But he doesn't text the girl with warm brown eyes, instead he plays the voicemail that sometimes haunts his nightmares, on repeat, for the rest of the night.

///

Let me know if you like the story! *** Join the taglist!

///

TAG LIST: @laurxn-robinson // @mellamolayla

Next chapter

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles oc #harry styles series #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles fandom #harry styles fanfic #a certain romance #harry styles ou