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the-badger-mole · 7 months

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A Kya lived (but with some serious burns) AU.

Katara's relationship with the other characters?

In what way would this also affect Sokka?

Aang accidentally burning Katara?

Yon-Rha being alive or not,and Zuko and Katara hunting him down.

Depending on what ripple effect Kya being alive has on the series, what other changes do you think would impact things going forward?

Do you think kat*anng would still happen or zutara?

To answer your last question first, Kataang shouldn't have happened in general, so, no they absolutely don't happen here.

This would've been an extremely traumatic event for Kya, and I think she would become very protective of Katara. Sokka would have a complicated relationship with it because on the one hand, he'd get it, and he'd be very protective of Katara too (even more than he was in the show). On the other hand, I think it would very much read as favoritism to him, and he'd probably pull some very dangerous and stupid stunts in order to get his mother to fear for his life like she does for Katara's. I think instead of being sent off with well wishes, Katara would have to sneak away, and Sokka would come with her to protect her.

I think Zuko seeing the burns that Kya suffered would give him pause. He would still try to go in with all his bluster and bravado, but it would be a sight that would startle him. I think it would change the dynamic when he confronted Katara (does Katara get Kya's necklace here? I don't know. I could see it go either way). He might appeal to her desire to end the war instead, promising that once he got home and took back his rightful place, he'd make ending the war his priority so no one would have to suffer like Kya. His arc would then be centered on trying to reconcile what he knows of his father with his own hopes for how the war would end. I don't know if they still go after Yon Rah. I don't think it would have the same impact, to be honest. I think Katara's mother would be what bridges the gap between them still, but I think instead of focusing on their mutual loss, Katara would find out explicitly how Zuko got his scar and why. They would still connect over maternal sacrifices, but also the scars.

Katara, I think, would be the biggest change. I think she'd be a less maternal figure and less inclined to play caregiver to the people around her (which is part of the reason I don't think Kataang would happen). Her anger would be a lot more apparent because not only did her mother sacrifice herself for Katara, she treated her like she was too vulnerable to be let out into the world on her own (this version of Katara would probably have an easier time connecting with Toph, tbh). I think any attempts of people trying to protect her or tell her she can't do something would be met with much more force. Her fight with Pakku would've been much more feral and unhinged because I think she'd actually be out for blood. Like for real, for real. And her stint as the Painted Lady would probably end with a few dead soldiers. I see Zutara not only happening in this version of the story, but happening way sooner because Katara's anger would be easier for Zuko to see and understand, and then connect with. I think her pain and anger would hurt him for her sake, too. Getting to know her would make him finally understand everything Iroh was trying to do for him, and he would in turn try to be that for Katara. In the end, they'd both wind up helping each other find peace.

Also, as for what happened when Aang burned Katara? He'd have gotten a double barrel of anger from the siblings. Sokka would possibly lay hands on him, and Katara would resent him for not taking any of his learning opportunities seriously. I think Katara in this version would be much more militant (a reason why I don't think Aang would have a crush on her in this scenario to begin with). This episode would see him getting thee crap scared out of him, and possibly set him down the path of understanding just how badly the war needs to be ended.

#atla #zutara #elseworlds atla #an angrier katara #would be too much for the human senses #this would not be able to remain a show for young children #they'd have to put this on the -n instead #THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!

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meditando-en-paris · 1 month

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𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (HTTYD2)

Explanation on why the 💞"𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖"💞 scene is so important in How To Train Your Dragon 2 (HTTYD2) by Dreamworks.

Valka at the beginning of HTTYD2

Let's start by talking about Valka.

Throughout the film, it is explained how in the past she felt uncomfortable and strange in the human world, as its static norms clashed with her ideals, which is why she ends up abandoning her family.

So she achieves his dream of living in peace and harmony with the dragons, learning everything from them. However, she has paid the price of giving up her "human side" and with it her family.

That she chose to live among dragons rather than remain with her own reveals two things: Confidence and courage in pursuing her dream, but also her fear and lack of trust in others.

She does not feel supported and listened to by her people, but neither does Stoick. She feels caged, so when she gets the chance, she escapes.

The fact that Valka renounces her family is also a reflection of the problems within their marriage. Valka and Stoick had opposing beliefs towards dragons, which would obviously create fights and reinforce Valka's idea that this was not her place. Furthermore, this shows that Valka was extremely afraid of being rejected by Stoick for who she really was, and that this probably led her to show herself to him in a way that she was not in order to protect herself. Not to mention that, being seen as an outcast in Mema for opposing the war and that her love of dragons almost killed her family, she believed she was protecting her son.

Thus, at the beginning of HTTYD2 we find a strong and confident Valka within the world of dragons, but very distrustful and distanced from the world of humans. This is reinforced at the beginning when she walks crouching, imitating the dragons.

Later on, once she establishes a bond with Hiccup through the dragons (but note: through the dragons, not because he is her child. Although this changes later on), she begins to walk upright and behave in a more "human" way.

Meeting with Stoick

Valka's real growth comes when she and Stoick meet again.

It is amazing how Valka crumbles in a few seconds. She goes from a powerful woman who believes in herself to a frightened person, full of remorse and anguish.

After meeting Hiccup, she regrets abandoning them. She regrets choosing the easy way out, but as she says: "Well, what sign did I have that you could change, Stoick? That anyone in Mema could do it? Did anyone listen to me?".

Her body language shows that she is extremely afraid (she backs away until she hits the wall), showing once again the fear she has of being rejected by Stoic, the person she loves, and whom she has to finally confront.

It's funny how Valka is unable to understand his reaction. Anyone else would be filled with anger and frustration, but Stoic's response is ✨sublime✨. He says nothing until he is at her level, while she says everything on the verge of tears. Then he strokes her cheek and says, "You are as beautiful as the day I lost you."

FRIENDS, are you aware of what a LOVE DECLARATION this man makes? This man has told her: Everything is fine. I accept and understand your decisions, even though they were not the best. I forgive you and I love you💞.

I think Valka cries not only from the stress and emotion of the whole situation, but also that she finally sees that her husband accepts her for who she is and loves her that way.

💞💚💜✨THIS MOMENT IS PERFECT✨💜💚💞.

Little by little, Valka opens up to her human side, which she had repressed, while Stoick supports her in her development with small gestures (this is especially noticeable in their body language). In this way, Valka realises that she had made a mistake. Everyone can change, even her.

In conclusion, Valka from this moment onwards will begin to understand that her family does not make her more vulnerable, that her quirks are impossible to accept or unforgivable. That is why she wants to return to Mema happy to be reunited with her people and family and, therefore, happy to be reunited with her human side.

What do you think of this scene?

I hope you liked the analysis✨.

𝑺𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘!

#httyd #httyd 2 #how to train your dragon #valka haddock #valka #httyd valka #stoick the vast #httyd stoick #hiccup haddock #hiccup #httyd hiccup #dreamworks #film review #movie review #dreamworks animation #how to train your dragon 2 #httyd2

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quietlyimplode · 7 months

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the language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 8 - It’s all for nothing

Warnings: grieving. funeral in a sense.

Word Count: 1.9k (gif not mine)

Summary: Natasha provides Clint with options and everyone does what they can to support him.

A/N: this part ends on a happy note, I swear.

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

2013

NEW YORK

The bartender had left them alone at Barney’s final resting place, a small plot in the Witchita Falls cemetery.

Natasha hadn’t known what to do, and had left him sitting by his brothers grave.

She’d wandered off, then came back with some wildflowers, placing them on the top of the headstone, before sitting next to him.

“He’s dead, Nat,” Clint had whispered.

She didn’t know what to say.

Often so awkward in her own grief, she never knew what to do with Clint’s.

“I’m sorry,” she’d whispered back redundantly.

They’d stayed until night fell, ignored their phones and just sat.

Clint told some stories he remembered of his brother, and became quiet.

His sadness engulfing them both as neither really knew what to do next.

Natasha had expected a mission, a chase, something that involved action to find Clint’s brother. It felt strange that it was this… normalcy.

He came to a place; made a home, lived and died.

Coming out of New York that was so affected by aliens and strange happenings, the quiet town of Witchita Falls was peaceful.

She almost wanted a goose chase, something to put off this grief that she knew he was feeling.

“Do you think he was happy here?” she asks tentatively, not really knowing what to say.

“I don’t know,” he answers.

“Maybe? I think he probably knew he needed something, maybe stability, a home where he…”

Clint’s voice breaks and he covers his face.

She moves closer to him.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, “I had hoped…”

And that was the thing, they both had allowed themselves to hope that he was alive and okay.

“I had hoped he’d be here,” she finishes.

Clint takes a deep breath.

It prompts her to do the same.

“Confronting the past comes with a price, doesn’t it?” he comments, leaning forward to trace the letters on the headstone.

“Yeah,” Natasha replies, watching him closely.

He shivers.

“We should go,” he tells her, looking at her closely.

His voice makes it clear that he doesn’t want to.

“No, not yet,” she nods.

“Yeah, okay, not yet,” he says slowly.

Clint decides not to go back to the tower. He can’t face Tony and uttering the words that it was all for nothing.

The hope he had, gone.

He doesn’t want anyone’s pity and he regrets asking for help. The vulnerability of it all making him feel exposed.

Finally alone, he lets angry tears fall.

Natasha returning the plane, he was thankful for her but all he wanted was to throw and shout and yell at the unfairness of it all. He didn’t want her to see that side of him.

He kicks off his shoes, enjoying the way they fly across the room.

Next his shirt, he throws into the wall.

Grunting, he hits the bench, his hand hurting but makes him feel marginally better.

He turns the shower on as hot as it go, and steps into the steam.

No matter how many times he turns it over in his mind, he can’t seem to believe it.

Barney is dead.

His brother, who gave him candy, stood in front of father to protect him, who took beatings for him; dead.

Clint can’t seem to comprehend it.

He doesn’t understand how.

Maybe it had been the reason why Tony hadn’t been able to find anything.

Maybe it was true.

He just… didn’t want to believe it; but… he did.

He thinks that if Barney was alive, he would have found him after the events in New York, he would have known Clint needed him.

But, his death. He’s dead and Clint didn’t even get to say goodbye.

What ifs play in his mind.

What if he went looking? Would they be friends? Would they have fought again?

The shower beats down and lets it’s flow over him, let’s it mask his tears and grief.

Barney is dead.

And he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Natasha stops at the store, readying herself for the heaviness that’s bound itself to Clint.

She finds the candy he was talking about, though the story broke her heart, she recognises the ties to each other.

Wandering around, she lets herself grieve for the what ifs, of having her sister and his brother in the same room, of a wedding that likely won’t eventuate now the parameters can’t be met.

Pepper was right in saying that she’d set an impossible task.

Natasha breathes in, and out and lets the fantasy go.

She wasn’t even sure she wanted it anyway.

Maybe this is for the best.

Ringing and ordering Clint’s favourite pizza, she focuses on the next couple of days.

They used to hold little funerals for the girls that died in the red room.

It helped, she thinks, even if they were the ones doing to killing. A little tea candle that they used to steal, flowers they used to smuggle and someone would say something nice about the girl that had passed. They’d then put a drop of blood on the flowers, passing a knife around. She’s not sure who started the funerals, only that they’d continued on, helped as a way to mark the grief and the end of a life.

Maybe it’s what Clint needs.

On a whim, she picks up candles and flowers and then heads to the pizza shop.

“How does this work?” Clint looks at Natasha.

He’d said yes.

She’d told him a story of little widows grieving their friends and how a funeral for his brother might help.

In his sadness, he’d said yes.

Any way of saying goodbye was better than nothing.

Clint takes a breath.

Since finding out Barney was dead, he had not been a good friend or partner, off the back of aliens, life had just felt a bit too much.

Wallowing felt easier, letting grief engulf him whole.

He didn’t even realise that the month had passed.

Almost two.

Natasha’s suggestion, he’d hoped would help him, to be better; feel better.

Provide some closure.

Tony stands back with Pepper and Maria either side.

Steve already sitting on the chairs.

Natasha lights the candles.

The rooftop of the Avengers Tower lit by fairy lights, giving it a childlike glow.

“Sit,” she offers, “I don’t think this needs to be formal.”

“We used to have funerals for those that were gone, no longer of the world,” she starts, “and I think, everyone has different traditions, all over the world but perhaps the essence is the same.”

Clint nods at her as she looks over.

They’d talked about it, of course, what he wanted to say, disclose and share amongst his friends.

He hands a shot to everyone, filled with Barney’s favourite drink when he was younger.

“Barney was my older brother,” he pauses, swallowing, watching his friends as they watch him carefully.

“It realise I say this amongst a group of people, one of whom has a sibling,” he laughs.

“But having a sibling is like having someone who knows you and knows everything about you when you’re little, maybe when you’re older too.”

Clint doesn’t really know where he’s going with this, but he wants to try and explain to them how Barney was the best thing and the worst thing.

“You’re responsible for them, and tied to them, and, and this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

He takes a moment to compose himself, and raises the glass.

“Barney would think this is stupid, that he’s already in the ground, it’s nonsense to grieve. He’d probably wonder why would people who have never met him, want to come and grieve.”

Clint smiles.

“He was a bit clueless, my brother.”

Steve smiles back at that.

“He made my childhood bearable, and I will always carry the guilt that I couldn’t return the favour, then or now.”

Trying to smile, he looks to Natasha.

He feels tears well, unable to continue.

She smiles for him and nods.

“To Barney?” she offers.

Clint nods, and everyone responds in unison.

“To Barney.”

Natasha is glad it’s night, because conversation continues easily. The bonfire in the middle crackles and she leans back listening.

Steve and Clint exchange stories of childhood, Steve’s stories of his friend Bucky and Clint’s of Barney.

It’s the first time she’s seen him smile easily since they found out.

Maria nods and offers her a drink.

She shakes her head and holds up the lemonade she’d been holding.

“How’s he been?” she asks, sitting on the edge of the chair.

Natasha looks at Clint, his wrinkles alighting as he gestures emphatically about a story.

“I think this week he’s been trying, to be better, to be part of life. He was actually looking forward to this, I think. Maybe looking for a way to honor his brother.”

Maria looks at her.

“Any news on Yelena?”

Natasha looks at her feet.

“Uh, yeah actually. Tony’s been helping me find some solid leads and we think we’ve found a way to contact another Widow.”

Maria’s eyebrows furrow, “that’s good? Why do you look like that’s not good news?”

Natasha takes a deep breath.

“I was waiting, I want him with me, but..”

“You don’t want to rub in the fact that your sister is still alive when his brother is dead?” Maria finishes.

“Maybe,” Natasha mumbles.

“You know you have to tell him?”

“I know, but after this, yeah? Tonight is his.”

Maria takes a drink.

“How are you?”

Natasha’s question takes her off guard.

“I’m good,” she smiles, “feels like a while since we’ve caught up.”

Natasha nods.

“Maybe next weekend, if I’m still here?”

Maria smiles.

“I’d like that.”

Clint clasps Tony on the back.

“Thanks man,” he says sincerely, “I don’t know if I can’t ever thank you for finding him, but I’m glad I know. I wasn’t, but… I think I am. I had to know or I was left in limbo and the what ifs would have been worse.”

The words come out in a tumble.

Tony steps back from the bar, offering him another drink.

Clint shakes his head, holding up his beer.

“I found someone else,” Tony confesses.

Clint frowns, not sure he’s ready for any other blows.

“Gus?”

He leans over the bar and pulls out a photo.

“He owns a pub in Omaha.”

Clint smiles.

“He’s still alive?”

Tony dips his head, “yeah, he’s still alive.”

“How’d you know?”

Tony shrugs, “I found the police reports, who came to pick you up from the hospital after…”

Clint’s heart stutters.

“After their death?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought, maybe it could help to talk to someone else who knew Barney, maybe share some stories,” Tony finishes.

Clint is touched.

“Thanks Tony.”

He touches the picture.

“Thanks.”

Slightly drunk, they take residence in their room in the tower.

Clint strips, and Natasha changes into his shorts and T-shirt, as he climbs into bed, eyes closing.

“Nat?” he mumbles.

She turns off the light and turns into him, hugging him tight.

“Yeah?”

“Love you,” he finishes.

“Love you too,” she whispers, kissing the nape of his neck.

“Nat?” he says again.

She looks up, and he half smiles.

“We’re still getting married right? Even though he can’t be there?”

She smiles bigger.

“Yeah Clint, we can still get married.”

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rozaceous · 10 months

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mariko, violence, and the meta of violence in fanfiction

ok so it’s apparently not enough that i write the most indulgent kind of fic, but now i’m writing an essay about my fic. this got so long, abt 2k total. if i said sorry, it’d be insincere, but at least no one is making you read it?

i want to piggy-back off the post i made earlier this week where i was talking about how mariko was not well-adjusted, and was, in fact, doing extremely poorly. what this post turns into, however, is an analysis not only of mariko’s relationship to violence and her subsequent trauma, but a meta-analysis of how violence is treated in canon more broadly, and how that ends up translating into fic. because, and i mean this in a way that is distinctly not about tooting my own horn, i’m approaching violence with a different lens than what i've found in a majority of fic, but also in a way that is unique to SI fic.

‘to continue being alive is also an art’ starts in medias res ch 1 with mariko haring off to the confrontation at the bridge in wave. we find out later, she’s fresh from just having killed people for the first time. kakashi and mariko have their little chat abt it in ch 2, but it’s treated as done and resolved afterwards. it was self-defense, she was protecting others, she was justified and shouldn’t lose sleep over it.

mariko also kills during the chuunin exams itself (members of the sound team) and during the finals (she on-screen beheads a foreign ninja). there’s a sort-of killing w the itachi puppet in ch 15, and a mention of sasori, but otherwise we don’t get any particular details of her killing people until the events of ch 17, where she kills danzo and the rest of the elder council, as well as whoever was caught in the bombings. (i’m going to word-of-god this for everyone right now and tell you that there were people caught in the bombings, just like i will confirm that she’s killed other people in the interim of the time skip.)

from a writing-level, i approached violence in a very specific way. most of the violence is off-screen and mentioned as a retrospective; what occurs on-screen i tried to keep brief and matter-of-fact. graphic, maybe, but not gory. i also try not to play violence as something that’s done for laughs, like how sakura will beat naruto up in canon when he annoys her. (we’ll come back to this.) and a lot of this has to do with how mariko herself deals with violence.

i mentioned in that previous post, that mariko grows up in a militaristic culture where violence is a norm and acceptable, as someone who is not actually a kid who can be acculturated into that thinking in the same way. mariko comes from a culture and personal history where interpersonal violence is abhorrent. she tries to duck out of canon events and any requirement of violence on her own part by being a medic, but the team assignments (the narrative/me, if we’re wanting to get meta abt it lol) prevent her from achieving this relatively more peaceful role.

when mariko gets assigned to team seven, she has to get real comfortable with violence real fast. she’s already befriended naruto (and hahahaha you may remember that she does so by punching a guy 🙂) and she cares about kakashi and sasuke. she’s come to the realization that this is her lot, these are her people, they are her responsibility. as she notes in ch 2, she’s not good enough to solve her problems without killing. this is also to say, she’s not good enough to problem-solve without violence. it’s beyond her capacity and skill when the stakes are as high as they are. let’s also consider that caring about everyone is a luxury that mariko cannot afford, widespread mercy is potentially a death sentence, and so she narrows that care down to a handful of people. and so if she’s taking the well-being of her teammates as her ultimate good, she will absolutely let the ends justify the means.

added onto any personal sentiment is that, as far as mariko knows, if anyone on team seven dies, the entire world is fucked.

mariko one hundred percent and sincerely believes that violence is wrong. even when it’s justified, self-defense, etc., mariko views it as ugly. there may be situations where she assigns herself less blame, but she is always blaming herself for being too weak to find another way, because her (somewhat unrealistic) view is that violence is the sign that you’ve run out of other options to get your way.

however, with the stakes being as they are, and with the world she’s in treating violence as a form of currency, mariko sees violence as a necessity.

so we can see the dissonance, right? she has to use violence to protect not only herself, but the people she loves, and the entire world. and mariko’s fundamental optimism is that people are worth helping and that the world is worth saving, because if she doesn’t believe in that with her whole heart, she’d literally just curl up and die. she wants to be kind and to help and nurture and build, but her most effective tools—once again, she views using violence as a failure—are the ones she hates the most. but she has to use them. more, she has to be very, very good with them.

this isn’t a small-level dissonance, it’s a diametric opposition. so in terms of narration, mariko can’t think too much about the violence she’s enacted because it would destroy her. she knows this about herself. she hates it. but it’s necessary. and so she doesn’t think about it. and if she does think about it, she’s very clinical and writes it off as unfortunate and necessary and—well, it’s done, no use crying over it now. she’s disassociated herself from it. and i wanted that perspective reflected in the way i wrote about violence.

the other aspect of how i wanted to handle violence is from how i approach the canon. we’ve all read the fics where konoha is a grimdark dictatorship, with death and torture around every corner. and, uh, it is? it’s a fascist war machine, plainly. it’s child soldiers and state-sanctioned assassination baked into the world economy? there’re multiple instances of genocide? it’s a fucking nightmare.

i, personally, am not able to brush aside those things. i like the meta and the reading-into-things and the what-if’s that happen when you don’t take things at face value. so for me, the writer, i can’t glorify violence. there’s a reason i wrote mariko walking through the uchiha compound in the way that i did. so i’m not going to write like killing a thousand people in one go is anything but horrifying (staring at you, minato), even if i’m not interested in directly interrogating every particular instance of violence within the narrative.

but canon doesn’t approach it from this angle. for canon, this is all the quirky backdrop, and violence and killing are bad, but very few people tend to die in a meaningful sense. violence doesn’t often have lasting consequences. (this is, also, the evolution that Naruto goes through as a series, where it starts off as a critique of the state and then turns into bootlicking, but that’s another meta that plenty of others have written better than i can.) in canon, the ability to do high-damage moves is considered a cool power-up. in fact, your power level is directly correlated with your physical danger level—ie, your ability to do violence.

moreover, casual violence is funny in canon. (we’re back to sakura beating up naruto and it being treated as a joke.) these things are entirely the conceit of reading/watching canon, and it’s what we do with every piece of media. this isn’t a judgment! we are suspending our disbelief and buying into the premise of the story that gets told. and i would hardly have written over 50k of naruto fanfic if i didn’t find it innately compelling and, yes, fun.

so this is where the presentation of violence in fanfiction can get dicey, because not every author is approaching canon with the same spirit that canon itself has. i also want to make the blanket statement that i don’t think any one interpretation is right or wrong, it’s that they’re all interpretations. i’ve read and liked fics of all varieties; i’m not morality policing, i’m trying to place myself and my own fic within a broader phenomenon of how fics present the morality of violence. i don’t personally care what one fic thinks is morally good, nor do i think that a particular presentation necessarily corresponds with what the author thinks in real life, or even that a presentation has to be consistent from fic to fic. these are all lenses/perspectives, and fanfic is inherently about playing with the little details of canon and going, “And?”

so on one end, you’ll have some fics that 100% correspond with the attitude towards violence that canon has and aren’t too interested into getting into the grittier moral quandaries of the canon past what canon presents as good or bad. on the other, you’ll have other fics that will rip the morals of canon to shreds. again, i like both! it always depends what the focus of your story is!

i feel like i’m somewhere in the middle. i feel like a lot of naruto fics commit hard to either of the above scenarios from the start and i...don't (as one commenter pointed out). there's a level of progression I'm trying to portray. and, i have to say, part of the comment that @vermillioncrown left on ch 17 really resonated: “She's sunk as low as them, she's just as fucked up in this second life despite knowing another moral framework and society. And she's mud-wrestling them down at ground level lol.”

mariko ‘knows better’ but isn’t better. she doesn’t feel like she’s a good person. arguably, she isn’t a good person. she has enough of an outsider perspective to see the system for what it is, but she is still inherently within the system. she is absolutely playing the game, and doesn’t have any moral high ground. she kills, she lies, she deceives, she betrays. she harms people. her intentions might be noble, but as tumblr loves to say abt causing others harm: intention isn’t magic. mariko wants better and is trying to achieve it, but she’s in the system and can’t get out of it because we all inherently live in a society, and removing yourself from society isn’t exactly as feasible as our ideals might like.

and because tcba is, mostly, from mariko’s perspective, her understanding of violence colors the narrative. because mariko is an SI/OC, her perspective is one that is ALWAYS going to be a negotiation of ‘canon at face value’ and ‘me personally doing an analysis.’ and i think that’s really cool and interesting, which is why i’m doing it!

but—and this is not me throwing shade or getting mad or singling anyone out—this is also a take that is a little counter to broader fandom habit that aligns with ‘omg she was so badass when she killed that guy!’ or ‘yes! fuck it up!’

reiterating that i’m not trying to scold or slight anyone, bc this is the ‘canon at face value’ take, where we are supposed to see these things as badass and praise-worthy, and often these are climactic scenes where mariko is ostensibly cast as the righteous victor! and if people don’t see what i’m trying to do as different to that take, that’s also on me as the writer, especially bc, as i already said, this is a story that is trying to negotiate those different perspectives on violence. but i also want to point out that there’s more than just ‘violence as badassery’ happening. this is also ‘violence as tragedy.’

and since the meaning and role of violence isn’t a theme that’s going to go anywhere any time soon, i thought it was worth discussing.

#this is not to say that i think the narrative doesn't reward mariko for mercy or generosity. zabuza and haku as the prime examples ofc #and i hope i made this clear? it got so long.#kudos also must go to verm bc it's our discussions that always filter through to everything and some of this was probably their words #but i so would love to talk more abt this if anyone is so inclined #tcba #tcba meta #rozisms

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foreverinadais · 2 years

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sleepless: steven grant

Summary: Y/N can’t sleep... luckily, Steven knows how to calm her.

Word Count: 839 words

Pairing: Steven x fem! reader

Warning: None, just pure fluff :)

hi! i did a similar hc post which you can find here :) oh and i’m also reposting this, it was the first thing i wrote for Tumblr but wanted to edit some things, so yeah

She couldn’t sleep. Normally, she would be fine staying awake, lost in her thoughts until whenever Steven, Marc or Jake was up. But, she hadn’t been sleeping a lot lately. Too many of the wrong thoughts, the anxious kind that kept her brain whirring and stomach churning.

After the fifth time of tossing over, she gently turned over to face Steven. He looked so peaceful, so content. A mere glimpse of his face was enough to make her smile, her heart skipping a beat. But watching him made her feel even more overwhelmed. She could feel herself begin to get restless, this just adding to her nerves, her tiredness. Finally, she decided to just get up and do something until either she fell asleep, or morning came.

Slowly, she removed the duvet off her body, reaching her feet down to the floor, wincing at the slight creak of the bed. She didn’t want to wake up Steven, not with him sleeping so soundly. So, she tried to be quiet, eventually sitting up before making her way out of the bed. The transition went rather smoothly… until she lost her way in the dark and stubbed her toe on the nightstand.

“SHIT-” she practically shouted before quickly covering her mouth. But it was too late; Steven was up in a flash.

“BLOODY HELL WHAT HAPPENED?! Y/N/N?” She found the lamp in the dark and switched it on, looking at Steven’s face, illuminated with worry. She winced at the slight throb in her toe.

“I’m alright. Just stubbed my toe. I’m sorry I woke you, darling, I didn’t mean-”

“Shh it’s okay, come ‘ere, let me look.” She went to protest but he was already sitting her on the bed as he examined her injury.

“How does it look, doc?” she joked, and Steven mocked seriousness.

“Bad. Terrible. We shall have to cut it off.” She chuckled as Steven got back up unto the bed, gently caressing her cheek as he passed her. “I think it’s alright. Does it feel okay? Not broken or anything?”

“Feels fine. Thank you, Steven.” She offered him a smile to which he returned, before rubbing his eyes tiredly. Guilt filled her insides. “I’m so sorry for waking you up, I shouldn’t’ve been such a baby-”

“Nonononono, darling, ‘s okay! Why were you getting up, my love?” She stayed sat up, fiddling with her hands to avoid confrontation.

“I just…” she cut herself off with a sigh, shrugging.

Steven shuffled so he was sat in front of her, taking both her hands into his and gently caressing her palms with his thumbs. “You can talk to me, Y/N/N, you know that don’t you? Darling?” She nodded, feeling tears brim her eyes. Fuck don’t cry. She told herself, but he was so nice, and she felt so tired…

“I’m just overwhelmed. Everything is too much, and my head is swirling, and it never stops. And I just, I want to sleep but my brain doesn’t rest right now and ugh I’m sorry I don’t want to burden you with this, I didn’t mean to wake you, Steven-” she cut herself off again with a choked sob, all of it washing over her, and Steven didn’t hesitate when bringing her into his chest, stroking her back comfortingly.

“Oh my love. I had no idea, you don’t need to be sorry, honey. Shh, it’s okay, let it out, all of it, don’t want it to get bottled in that head of yours, eh? There you go.” His words carried her through the storm, and she gradually felt herself get settled, the grip she had on his top loosening slightly as her sobs subsided. “I’ll help you with whatever work I can, okay? All of us will. We can get through it one bit at a time. But right now, there’s nothing more you can do, not tonight, okay? You deserve rest, you need to rest. So let’s do that. That alright, my love?” She nodded, feeling comforted by his words.

Steven kissed the top of her head once, twice, before slowly lifting her head up with his hands. He swiped some of the tears away with his thumb before gently kissing her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, before finally, her lips. So softly, it made her dizzy, made her worries melt away. She smiled against his lips, and he noticed, pulling away grinning.

“There’s my girl. Shall we go to sleep, my darling?”

“Yes please.” She croaked out, and he smiled at her lovingly, shuffling around on the bed so that he was lying back under the duvet, before bringing her with him. She settled with her head against his, leg swung over his own, and her arm around his neck. She felt completely safe as he traced her skin with soft touches, whispering comforting affirmations to her as her eyes became heavy. “Thank you, Steven.” She whispered.

“Of course, my love.” He replied, placing a last kiss to the top of her head, “Always.”

#Steven Grant #steven with a v #steven grant x reader #stevengrant #fem!reader #moon knight fluff #fluff #ff #moon knight imagine #Moon Knight #moon knight fanfic

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beauspot · 1 year

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Beau is Afraid is the movie I have been waiting for

!Spoilers Ahead! *LONG POST*

TW: Child Abuse, Gaslighting, Narcissistic Abuse, Strangulation, Discussions of Severe Anxiety

Like many people I knew Ari Aster as the guy who made Hereditary and Midsommar. Weird and trauma focused horror and that is definitely what Beau is Afraid is classified as, but it is nothing like his previous films.

To summarize, Beau is afraid starts off with Beau meeting his therapist (well it literally starts with Beau being born but i digress) and here we learn that Beau has a severe and crippling anxiety disorder. From the moment Beau starts talking about his mother I knew exactly what this movie was going to be about(though i don’t think anyone could guess the plot). We see that he is planning to visit his mother the next day because it’s the anniversary of his fathers death. Due to unforeseen circumstances Beau oversleeps and as he is rushing his keys get stolen out of his door along with his suitcase. Beau calls to tell his mom just wanting to tell her what’s happened and as she began to speak I got immediately triggered. You can see him sink into a shell of himself as she tries to make him feel guilty for thinking he should stay at home since someone has access to his apartment. She hangs up on him and Beau begins to lose it a little bit.

A lot of things domino fall and this leads to Beau getting locked out of his apartment (this also leads to the first time we see Beau experience something i’ve never seen so perfectly portrayed in a film. executive dysfunction. and it happens multiple times, he simply freezes in place even though he knows he should move. Part of it is definitely his anxiety as he is afraid to move because thats a decision and he doesn’t want the responsibility of what comes after a decision)and learning that his mother was killed by a falling chandelier. Then we see him get hit by a car. He ends up in the care of a family and long story short he has to run from them and ends up in the woods with a theatre troupe.

This is important because we learn that Beau’s biggest dream is to simply have a job and home of his own with a family that loves him. That’s his perfect future, but even as he’s seeing it playing out his kind can’t help but conjure up the worst case scenarios. We also see it repeated here that Beau can’t have kids because he can’t have sex because of a genetic heart murmur that killed his father. After Beau is separated from the theatre troupe he makes his way to his mothers house(though he should have been healing after being hit by a car and being stabbed his ONLY CONCERN was his mother not being humiliated by not being buried). When he sees her body he isn’t at peace yet but he lays down and gets his first night of good rest in days. When he wakes up he is greeted with his old friend Elaine who asked him to wait for her and he did. Long story short, Beau and her have sex. He is under the direct impression he is going to die when this happens.

But he doesn’t. However, Elaine does. He is rightfully terrified and cowers in fear until the music Elaine was playing suddenly shuts off and he looks up to find none other than his mother staring back at him. She faked her death to get him home and then tries to turn this on Beau saying he couldn’t wait for her to die, when Beau admits he knew she was alive because of the birthmark on the hands on the body. But she’s not done. Out of the shadows steps Beau’s therapist as his mother begins playing a recording of one of his sessions where Beau admits reluctantly that he felt his mothers love was conditional. Since he feels like he has nothing to lose he chooses to finally confront his mother about the dream he has where he sees an identical version of himself ask about his father because Beau isn’t brave enough and he asks where his father is.

His mother takes him to the attic from the dream and tells him to go up there telling him it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. There Beau meets his twin brother and his father(it’s a lot more batshit than this but that’s the gist of it). He begs to go back down and his mother finally lets him and he LITERALLY KISSES HER LEGS telling her he’s sorry. But she’s still not done. She goes on a whole tirade about how her mother blamed her for her mothers mistakes completely missing how she’s doing the same to Beau. She continues to berate him until she finally says what she means. She hates Beau. And at that point Beau puts his hands around her throat, strangling her. He eventually comes to his senses and lets her go, shocked at his own actions, but the damage has been done, she collapses and dies.

Beau leaves the house the look of shock frozen on his face and he reaches a motorboat on his mothers private little beach. He starts the motor and begins to drive the boat towards a cavern. For the first time the whole movie Beau seems like he might no longer be afraid. Until the motor mysteriously sputters and here’s where shit gets VERY REAL. SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE GO WATCH IT BEFORE CONTINUING.

Beau is sitting in darkness for a few seconds and suddenly this cavern is flooded with light and he sees no, it’s not actually a cavern at all. It’s a stadium filled with people. They are all watching him. Through his (and the audiences) confusion a voice booms from a microphone. When Beau finds the source he is shocked to see that it is coming from a man on a mini stage high in the stadium sitting next to his mother. From a giant 4 sided jumbotron video plays of moments from Beau’s life dating back to when he was NINE. YEARS. OLD. All of of which is taken out of context. Beau’s only “defense” is a shitty lawyer who has yell because he wasn’t given a microphone and even when he is heard and things his lawyer says are reasonable his mothers lawyer simply writes it off and moves onto the next thing he’s “done wrong”. (To me this represents all of the times Beau tried to reason with his mother and make her see his side before he just had to succumb to her will for survival, because you can’t reason with a narcissist.) When his defense is literally thrown from his stage and dies on a steep rock Beau is left to defend himself. Through his anxiety and fear he still tries to make them see his side, but Beau is found to be guilty. He never really loved his mother, he was a manipulative child who took from her and never gave anything back.

As this is all coming to a close the motor on the boat begins to flame and the boat begins to sink. Beau is begging, pleading, screaming, for his mother as she watches him in distress. As the entire arena of people watches him struggling and does nothing. We can see the exact moment Beau succumbs to his fate, he says nothing and for the first time in the whole film his shoulders droop. All of his anxiety is gone. He knows his mother won’t help him, that no one will. And the look that crosses his face is one I understood so deeply. One of anger that he dedicated his life to this woman, one of realization that he couldn’t trust anyone, one of sadness that he was truly alone. And I relate to that so deeply.

I remember people talking about the relationship between Joy and Evelyn in Everything Everywhere All at Once and while I definitely relate to their story somewhat there was something missing and I didn’t know what it was until I saw Beau is Afraid.

On the one hand there’s the constant twisting of Beau’s actions that is particularly triggering to me. Him living in one of his mothers apartment buildings and using a card with her money is turned on him when for one thing the apartment is shitty and he is constantly in fear for his life. Number 2 the card was given to him by her to use, because Beau is literally agoraphobic because of HER ACTIONS. He can’t hold down a job even if he wanted to. His whole life is his therapist and his home. I find it so strange that mothers like this will stifle any interest their child has that falls outside of what they want for them and literally block them from opportunities to advance, but then get upset when their kids aren’t able to function on their own as adults.

But that’s not the main thing that stuck out to me and made me realize I had been carrying this massive weight with me I couldn’t explain.

This ever present fear I felt living with my mother that just never left. This feeling that she was always watching me even when I wasn’t with her and that I couldn’t trust anyone because they would turn them against me eventually. That I couldn’t say bad things about her because the words would find their way back to her. When I was actively going to therapy I would triple check my phone to make sure I didn’t accidentally dial her and she could every word I was saying. That’s how terrifying it feels and I’ve never seen that captured on screen. Tears were streaming down my face as I watched Beau’s cries be ignored and as people just let him die. In the silence of the theater I simply stared at the place Beau had been and thought “you have to leave, you have to get out.”

!End of Spoilers!

It’s a great movie and I think you should definitely go see it if you have 3 hours to spare. I’ve personally seen it twice and I relate so much to Beau it’s kinda scary. Sorry for this long post I wonder what anyone who saw it thinks though, i’d like to hear new perspectives. Now time to watch Queen Charlotte for something lighter 😭

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inukag-archive · 1 year

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Hi, I was wondering if you could recommend some smutty fics that are also fluffy, I don't mind of they're completed or what year.

Also thank you for all of the work you put in, I've read so many great fics because of recommendations!

Hello Nonnie!

Thank you so much for following The Archive! We're so so so happy to help you find new favorites <3

Now to your ask: the main criteria we focused on when finding fics for this list was an overall lighthearted vibe with little to no angst. Some are funny, some a little kinky, and some are deeply romantic, but as long as the story included both smut and fluff, it made the list.

We hope you find something you love!

Everything by @lostinfantasyworlds (E)

Inuyasha and Kagome experience the exhilaration, intimacy, and imperfections of their first time making love.

Gone Swimmin' by Quickening (X)

A peaceful woodland on the hottest day of the year.

A shallow river flowing through the woods.

A naked hanyou sleeping peacefully on the bank.

An equally naked Kagome discovering him there.

'Nuf said.

Reunion by @mamabearcat (M)

Kagome was back, and Inuyasha was reunited with lots of things he'd missed. But one of them, not in quite the way he was expecting!

A Miko's Fantasy by Emmyyasha & @lavaffair (E)

A miko, a hanyou, and a forbidden love affair. These were all part of a fantasy that Kagome could not help but drift back to again and again. Tonight, her deepest desires will finally become reality with a little help from her own hanyou boyfriend, who is all too willing to play the part she has given him.

Dawn by Belizar (M)

Post-manga. Inuyasha wakes in the early morning to find Kagome gone, and sets out to find her.

Granted Wish by @knittingknots (M)

Post Manga. Takes place the evening of Kagome's return to the past. Kagome and InuYasha finally have some private time after her return. What does she want? And what wish can InuYasha grant her?

Something Real by Angelica Pierce (M)

While staying over night in a village, Kagome is confronted with the full truth about Inuyasha’s hardship regarding his social status and heritage. Will she be able to find a way to help him see through the pain?

Scent and Sensibility by Wenjohn (M)

He didn't hide his feelings to be cruel, he just didn't know anything about showing his emotions. Opening his heart was a weakness Inuyasha couldn't afford to have, not even for her. Until one night when a new scent was in the wind and he forgot to remember every reason he had for keeping her away.

Learning Curve by StoatsandWeasels (E)

Nighttime activities and internal musings of the newlywed couple.

Basically just fluffy PWP.

Lazy Morning by @akitokihojo (E)

Words don't always need to be spoken; body language plays a huge roll in communicating between a couple. Whatever it is that needs to be divulged can also be shown just as easily.

Together Again by @thornedraven (E)

"-I know I complained a lot about your fussing, but... when you weren't here to fuss... I realized... I liked it" -

Some intimacy between InuYasha and Kagome after being reunited after three years, rediscovering each other in some of the more intimate ways one can.

The Exponent of Breath by Avert_Ye_Eyes (E)

But she finally understood as she gazed down that dark ancient portal; as it sighed up at her with its infinite darkness; that time travel was not her personal conveyor, and maybe if she actually made a choice it would give her:

One.

Final.

Chance.

*The day the well reopened.*

Given by @dawnrider (E)

Losing himself to his youkai in Kaguya's castle puts Inuyasha in a position he never wanted to be in: Hurting the one person he swore he never would. Kagome doesn't see it quite the same way.

Key To My Heart by @superpixie42 (E)

When Inuyasha's childhood home goes on the market he will do anything he can to buy it. Including, but not limited to, getting his best friend Kagome to pose as his wife in an attempt to emotionally sway the seller. But will the seller be the only one whose heartstrings get pulled by the charade?

Chocolate Croissants by @willowandfog (E)

Kagome is searching for the perfect coffee shop to call her own in her new town when she runs head first (literally) into an arrogant silver-haired 'god'. A battle over a chocolate croissant leads to a playful feud, and when an incident shifts their relationship, they both realize they desire more than coffee and chocolate.

Nuts About You by @shikonstar (E)

Inuyasha has always hated drawing attention to his doglike attributes. But if the girl of his dreams is in danger?

He’ll get on all fours and bark if he has to.

Sweet on You by 00KuroiOokami (E)

Modern AU InuKag. Angry cop meets sweet little baker. Should he destroy her business's reputation, or can they make amends? Will she ever be able to melt his heart? Plenty of fluff and sweet moments. You better have cavities by the time this one is over!

Challenge Accepted by @mustardyellowsunshine (E)

Grumpy and bent on retaliation, Kagome forwards Inuyasha a spam email offering to enlarge a certain part of his anatomy. He takes this as a personal challenge and decides to prove her very, very wrong.

Slipped by @witchygirl99 (E)

“I was worried it’d be more of a sex thing.”

A sex thing. Inuyasha makes a face at the ceiling. God, why does Miroku say shit like that? “Yeah, well,” he grouses, grabbing at his cell phone so that he can look his friend in the eye. “Give me some fucking credit. I’m trying not to fall in love with her.”

Miroku looks, in that moment, far too smug. “And how’s that going for you?”

“Fuck you,” comes his automatic response, a knee-jerk reaction. Begrudgingly, unhappily, Inuyasha sighs his next admission. “Not great.”

Inuyasha has a life plan that is viciously, cheerfully and quickly dismantled the moment he becomes temporary roommates with one Kagome Higurashi. Unsurprisingly, this is all Miroku's fault.

Ending the Year with a Bang by @heynikkiyousofine (E)

Inuyasha receives a massage as a gift.

Feel free to add your own recs in the comments or reblogs!

Check our Masterlist of previous lists to see which topics we've covered.

Send us an ask (here).

#inukag archive #inukag fanfic #smut #fluff

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rriavian · 7 months

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Why a Vortex? - The Corinthian in 1x10

This was intended to continue my last post about the Corinthian being smart about how he handled the fight with Dream but it got derailed so. Yeah. Still writing part 2. I'm gonna have to reorganise my blog to make things easier to find. As always this is show based because while I know comic spoilers I haven't read them yet. Is this also technically part 1 of a series of posts discussing the final convention confrontation?

Erm. I’ve already had to shift the theme of this so it might be.

I’m focusing on the plan to use Rose to fight Dream because I’ve always thought the plan itself was more than a little stupid. It might be because we never really understand enough about what a dream vortex is (which yeah I have thoughts about), but the whole ‘replace Morpheus as the heart of the dreaming’ always felt like an assumption rather than a truth. Rose can pull down barriers between dreams and, when taught to, restore them but she can’t control the dreams themselves. She can’t replace Dream. It's made very clear that her powers would destroy her too, eventually, alongside everything else.

This is a bit of an aside from the main point but, while I think the existence of a vortex is a massively unfair and sadistic phenomenon, I do think it serves to show what Dream is quite nicely. He’s not only managing the incredible amounts of information in the subconscious but he’s keeping it separate. Distinct. Preserving individuality.

He allows privacy.

You can yearn in peace, fear in peace, not alone but…protected. The most innermost self is allowed to remain hidden. But the vortex strips that away. It’s an invasion, a deconstruction.

But back to the main point.

So the Corinthian may (in my opinion) have a stupid plan. But it’s indicative of his own perspective and interpretation of Dream and links directly to why he’s rebelling in the first place. I don’t actually think he entirely believed that Rose could replace Dream. I think he thought she could wound him, maybe even kill him, but not become him. The Corinthian’s final taunt about being regretful he won’t be around to watch Rose destroy Dream is—interesting to me, because I never believed she really could, and I think even for the Corinthian it’s a lovely fantasy that he’s enjoying.

He wants Rose to force Dream to feel how he feels.

The Corinthian wants to set Dream up against his own terrifyingly powerful opponent. His own inescapable threat. He wants Dream to try and fight someone who’s already decided they’re against him and will not be swayed. Which is also interesting because it’s concentrating on the result, allows for an interpretation to go either way, compatible with both positioning Dream as wrong, or Dream as right. If Rose is right to destroy Dream then it suggests the Corinthian does understand why he’s being uncreated. But if Rose is wrong to do it, just as Dream is wrong to do it, then perhaps he wants Dream to understand that through the threat of a vortex.

Either way it’s an attempted lesson.

An attempted nightmare - at giving Dream one of his very own, to prey upon something the Corinthian thinks needs fixing in his creator. Arguably a nightmare that started the moment he decided to ensure Dream would remain trapped by Burgess for a significant length of time.

For all he told Lucienne she would be unable to change Dream, the Corinthian is still seemingly acting to argue his own case.

Perhaps deciding whether uncreation is right or wrong in the traditional sense isn’t the point at all. Or not the whole point. In the context of the rest of the exchange at the convention the Corinthian's original intent might have been a mix of critiquing Dream's reasoning as well as his chosen method of punishment. The core of that might be that it’s not actually about the morality of the decision (that’s a conundrum for the one making the choice) but more the feeling of the one being acted upon. To me, his point is more 'your reasons make sense to you but your actions in response to them are still wrong' and I've got a 100 year long thesis on why I am actually still performing my function perfectly.

Here is my presentation on my conclusions so glad you can attend.

But Dream's response, while giving more of an explanation as to why those conclusions are wrong, essentially is 'yeah no you haven't proven what you think you have, you may have actually proven you're worse, and I'm still going to uncreate you'

So the Corinthian is like fine.

Here's my back up thesis have fun dealing with a vortex.

So then we get the 'I'm only sorry that I won't be around to watch Rose do the same to you' line.

You could say that when the Corinthan's attempt at demonstrating why he's right doesn't work he closes the attempt at a dialogue entirely. The nightmare/lesson he's set up will still come to pass though. Last words are important, and these are the one's the Corinthian chooses. He’s making his rejection clear by supporting Rose, but also still wants Dream to understand him, chooses words that allow him both. Even if his creator still doesn't understand his position, the Corinthian has found someone else who is going to make him understand it.

In the end he at least wants Dream to see that whether right or wrong it's a position of complete powerlessness.

No agency, no recourse to alter one's fate; it’s uncreation, it’s complete destruction, and that’s what really matters about it. The Corinthian wants Dream to really feel that. To feel something other than what he sees as ‘just another Tuesday as the ruler of the Dreaming’ because to the Corinthian that final moment is everything. Right or wrong it’s wiping away all that he is. The last line is his way of being like 'see how you like it'.

It’s ‘you destroyed me’.

It’s ‘You destroyed me and I wish I could stick around long enough to finally watch you understand the desperation of what that feels like’.

#dream of the endless #the corinthian #sandman meta #as always I can talk for days about just one line #this has been in draft forever but I wanted to read over it a couple of times #corintheus #technically

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tarisilmarwen · 9 months

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Rebels Rewatch: "Trials of the Darksaber"

Delicious. Finally some good kriffing Sabine backstory. :)

Really love the unique design of Atollon, the coral reef type plantlife, like the ocean floor drained of water. Love that we get lots of establishing shots this season just looking at and admiring the coral formations. <3

From this look Sabine gives as Rau heads up the ramp into the Ghost's cargo hold I think she already suspects and/or dreads why he's there.

Rau looks at the darksaber with reverence and awe and disbelief like it's Excalibur.

"Liberated" is an awfully nice way of saying y'all stole it, Rau. And oh boy the ink I could spill on that.

Long story short, the thing never should have become a cultural icon for the Mandalorians in the first place, Tarre left it with the Temple, if he wanted the Mandos to have it he would have instructed the Jedi Order to give it to them. Actually kind of sick that a Jedi lightsaber--representative of peace and diplomacy--got used instead for warfare, conquest, and dominance.

Side note though, the 2D animation sequence of the darksaber's backstory is gorgeous.

"I imagine Sabine was excited to recover it." Yeeeeeeeah you don't know her at all, Rau. Sabine has too many family trauma-shaped issues for that. She thought for one second about the implications of finding the darksaber and was like, "Nope! Not dealing with that." straight into denial and avoidance.

Which is not the last time her character journey in this episode will mirror Ezra's from all the way back in "Empire Day/Gathering Forces".

This is so cute. <3

From how Sabine has painted herself this particular wall art must have been added sometime in Season Two, probably earlier in the season. Her depiction of Ezra here is a little bit more flattering than the one she painted in Season One... but still kind of poking fun at him. XD

(Really kind of amazing to contrast this portrait with the one she did in the finale, where Ezra is centered instead of her, and finally looks serene and grown up.)

Sabine is kind of curled up, clutching her helmet a bit self-protectively.

Be honest, you thought the purr Chopper gives when Sabine pets him as she passes was cute too.

The score is already heavily reliant on clarinet and harp, a combination that makes this cue sound vaguely exotic.

Hmm, does this collective family confrontation seem familar?

It does!

Ezra points out the obvious: It's a lot harder for someone non-Force Sensitive to wield and be proficient in a lightsaber. Something that the Ahsoka show will hopefully delve into.

Maybe?

Perhaps?

Please?

Kanan agrees that Sabine "can't fight like a Jedi" (more evidence that she's not actually Force Sensitive) but she can become proficient with the blade, to which Sabine objects because "[...]that is a lightsaber." and there is this raw look of actual fear in her eyes.

This is the first time we hear her theme, by the way, faint in the background.

Sabine has such a defeatist attitude about reconciling with her family. :(

Tiya's voice acting is amazing this episode, Sabine already sounds like she's about to cry.

(Also note she curls her arms around herself self-protectively here, juuuuust like a little Season One Loth-rat we could name. :) )

Hera is being SO very gentle about the fact that she has to, as Rebellion leader, ask Sabine to try and make a strategic alliance with a prominent Mandalorian clan. Sabine feels a little bit betrayed by this, obviously, but Kanan emphasizes she can still walk away if that's her choice, which I really wish the people who trauma-coddle Sabine would remember as a thing he and Hera did.

Does Sabine relent because she feels a sense of pressure? Probably. But also she was not healing ducking and avoiding the issue.

Even though she agrees she's not really committed to her actions yet, and Ezra points out that getting her head right about that is going to be the first step. (Hera kind of gives him stinkeye for this but Hera, this is Jedi Training 101, let the padawan who's already wrestled with this have a say. He's not even that mean about it.)

Sabine gets angry, which is the opposite of what she needs to be in order to do this. (Also, "Give me the lightsaber and I'll make the connection!"/"Gimme the sword, I'm gonna learn how to kick your--") At Kanan's urging she calms herself, though, and it's only then that he lets her hold the darksaber.

AND THUS WE GET ROAD TRIP AND JEDI BOOTCAMP WITH KANAN. :D

Ezra doesn't often get the chance to poke Sabine back so you know he's enjoying this.

Sabine is actually being way pricklier at the teasing than she normally would be, and that's one of our clues of just how emotionally unbalanced and rattled she is this episode.

They start setting up camp and Sabine immediately begins questioning Kanan's training methods, to which Ezra assures her this kind of thing is normal.

Something I really like and appreciate about this episode? Ezra never once acts jealous or bratty about the fact that Kanan's training Sabine too. He's actually very eager and helpful to walk her through the forms.

The only two times he complains it's because Kanan made him unload the supplies Fenn brought instead of taking a break to rest--which isn't really about Sabine at all, more like a typical teenager griping about the chores--and when Sabine uses her new gauntlet arsenal on him. Because you know, that's cheating.

There is nooooooo particular reason I'm including this screencap, nope. None at all.

I said like a liar.

Look at him, he's so proud for her. <3

I love watching the choreography in this episode. Sabine lunges, almost off balance from the very-start, movement heavily telegraphed, and slashes with very little thought or strategy, and none of the elegance or precision she's going to need with an actual lightsaber. So obviously, Kanan easily deflects and overpowers her.

This first clash is punctuated with some lovely drum percussion in the score. Possibly some wood blocks too? That or the drums are Japanese Taiko or something.

He's so excited to teach her, look at him. <3

Fun note from the closed captions: "Hey, slow down, all right? You're not gonna learn this in one day." Ezra being encouraging when she's frustrated about her progress.

After the commercial cut we're back with Ezra and Sabine again and she's almost gotten herself perfectly synced to him.

Hera: "Were you careful with Ezra?" Ah, that would be a NO, Hera. He was not. Lol.

Both Hera and Kanan have points here. Kanan, understandably, doesn't want Sabine to get hurt (his "I'm trying things differently" line) and Hera accuses him of doubting in her abilities because she doesn't have the Force. And it's not that it's that her emotional blockage is going to completely screw up her ability to hold a lightsaber, because to use the Force properly in any fashion, even just enough to hold a lightsaber without dismembering yourself you have to be at peace.

You can't be channeling your emotions because that feedback loops through the Force and amplifies whatever you're feeling and amps it up to dangerous levels you can't always control, especially if you aren't trained.

Kanan is the Jedi, he knows this. But Hera is the mom, and she knows Sabine. By not letting her actually confront herself via the real blade, Kanan isn't helping her work through her issues.

Mostly because he doesn't know how to even begin to approach those issues because Sabine's got everything so battened down and bottled up under stubborn layers of denial and anger and hurt. (So he's going to have to throw her in the deep end like he did with Ezra, and it seems like he doesn't want to.)

Like, this episode is an almost perfect encapsulation of why the Jedi practice mindfulness and why the Jedi way can't be for everyone who shows Force potential.

Though on those lines, again, please note that the show completely supports the premise that Sabine is not Force Sensitive, even with Kanan's line about how the Force resides in all things but you have to be open to it. We'll put a bookmark on this and hopefully we won't have to come back to it for reference with the Ahsoka show. *narrow stare at Filoni*

"I'll be sending out supplies, is there anything specific that you need?" "Patience, understanding..." SUCH a #married line lol.

Back to the boot camp and Sabine is doing marginally better, her movements sharper, more controlled, kept closer to her chest. She's still pressing forward too much, too eager to just attack and overwhelm; Ezra barely expends any effort dodging and blocking her. His form is polished, casual. You can spot several of the established canon block positions. Sabine's is erratic and stiff, her strikes all over the place.

She smacks him for his chipper encouraging compliment but also--

She smiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiing. ^_^

There's a move here Ezra does where he spins around Sabine's strike that gif-makers have noticed she uses later in her fight with Saxon.

Sabine is SO ANNOYED that Rau is adding to the chorus of critical voices lolol.

Rau spoiling Sabine like a doting uncle, aww.

The gifts provide Sabine with a temporary, artificial confidence, which leads to a bit of arrogance on her part. She's too caught up in getting one over her opponent that she forgets all respect and decorum and attacks Kanan out of turn.

Kanan gets a little pissy in return, quickly turning things around and emphasizing that her bullish attitude is going to get her killed.

Oh, something else I love? Sabine doesn't ever target Ezra with her anger, even here where she's yelling at Kanan, all her bitterness is directed squarely at him and she only mentions Ezra because she incredulous he's learned so well when he has such a "lousy" teacher.

But oof, Kanan and Ezra's expressions, ow.

There's this painful little pinch of guilt. Wonder if he's remembering Kanan's doubts about being a good teacher for him, about how when things were at their worst he was the one lashing out at Kanan and claiming he didn't need him.

Sabine goes off to be by herself and after a moment Ezra follows, attempting another of his infamous impromptu therapy sessions no doubt lol.

I love this scene so much. The soft lighting, the quiet rendition of Sabine's theme in harp. Ezra trying to be encouraging and understanding and Sabine just bursting at the seams with all the hurt and pain she's trying to hide because if she gives voice to the reason she left she has to confront it all over again.

Thematically it's all the same beats as their conversation back in "Gathering Forces" where Sabine was urging him to reconcile with and resolve the trauma in his past, reconnect with his former family, only now with the roles reversed, now he's the one urging her.

Gif-makers have not failed to notice the shot-for-shot blocking, the parallels are so strong and clearly deliberate. Ezra's trying to be there for Sabine the way she was for him, with the same results, Sabine shuts down and shuts him out. Ezra withdraws respectfully, though not before pointing out that she still has a chance, because her parents are still alive to reconcile with. (I hear a snatch of his theme right here, very nice.)

Boy fandom gave him so much unnecessary grief for that line. It made... zero sense. Then and now.

Sabine tries to call after him, a bit too late, and just stays alone with her thoughts some more.

Hi Bendu!

See what I said above, Kanan's thinking about the practicality of letting a volatile emotionally-compromised teenager swing around a Force weapon and Hera knows she's not going to get past her issues if she's given an out to avoid things. (Hera also alludes to her issues with Cham, which is probably what got Sabine to start trusting her in the first place.)

Ezra voicing some worry about how long she's been gone. <3 And complete faith in her abilities, feeling like Kanan's maybe pushing her too hard. <3

He's so happy to see her back, too. <3

Oooh this track, relying on those unique instruments again, some kind of flute and that might be an erhu but I'm not sure. This is "Sabine's Catharsis", a cue which takes her leitmotif through an emotional wringer, bending it around different percussion harmonies and giving the theme to different parts of the orchestra. (I counted at least four or five shifts, from the flute, to the erhu and violins, to a cello and some horns, to the full string section and back around again.)

Sabine looks trepidacious at finally being handed the darksaber.

Ezra with an expression of, "Oh this 'bout to get good."

And his anxious glance at Rau when he realizes Kanan isn't dialing down his saber to training mode lol.

Ho man this overhead shot.

This whole sequence. *chef's kiss* The lighting, the score, the character drama... Kanan pushing Sabine to her limit, physically and emotionally, to break past the walls that are preventing her from healing, from accessing that place of catharsis she needs.

Sabine's choreography starts fraying as the duel goes on, Kanan still easily able to knock her down or push her about. At one point the darksaber glances off her right vambrace, singing it, which is probably what Kanan was worried about when he hesitated to actually give her the sword.

(Ezra almost rushes in, because she's hurt, but Fenn holds him back. People holding Ezra back from trying to protect Sabine will almost become a running gag in this arc lol.)

Again, I would love to point out those sweet sweet parallels in the dialogue here.

"You're blocked!"/"You're not committed to this. You should quit."

"I'm not afraid of them!" "Then what?"/"You did run, didn't you?" "No!"

"Ezra, what are you afraid of?"/"Then what's the truth?"

And... it works.

"I'm... I'm afraid of knowing. I'm afraid of the truth!"/"The truth... is that... I left to save everyone!"

Frick, the emotion in Tiya's performance here, it's so raw. :(((((

And finally that juicy juicy Sabine backstory they've been sprinkling out a trickle at a time, lol.

:(((((

All of them pledging to support her as we close out on this powerful image.

Oh man I love this episode. Something that becomes apparent in Season Three is that Sabine is being moved forward into narrative prominence, to wind up ultimately as a co-protagonist to Ezra. That spot had previously been taken up by Kanan, who has been sort of stepping back, the writers very slowly shifting him out of focus and allowing Sabine to grow, and also allowing her and Ezra to grow up together. (I think at this point they already knew that Kanan's days were numbered as Ezra's mentor, and were making sure he still had someone who was always going to be in his corner.)

In the end the show is about them, the children who become adults too soon in a world at war. "A boy who was lost" and "a girl who was broken" as Hera's trailer voiceovers would say, later.

Sabine's backstory confession is heartbreaking. Slightly confusing in places, @seleneisrising has an attempt at a coherent timeline of events, but nothing that dampens the emotional resonance of the scene. So many things about Sabine make sense now, and boy I hurt for her.

Great music, great character work... This episode is on people's top fives for a reason.

#star wars #star wars rebels #space dad and his precious pumpkin child #and his rainbow colored cupcake #sabezra #rebels rewatch #liveblog #music #soundtracks

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voidsentprinces · 8 months

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Estinien was a young sheep herd who lost everything to Nidhogg's vengeance. He then survived training in Coerthas only for the Seventh Umbral Calamity and the fall of Dalamud to take everything from him once more. Reducing his homeland to a now frigid and unforgiving wasteland. From there he continued to train hard and become a dragoon to fight on even grown with the Dravanian Horde. Driven only for his need to avenge his family and his fellow Ishgardians. He closed himself from all others and took leaps and bounds to try to obtain a way to face the monster from his nightmares. Breaking into the Holy See and stealing an Eye of Nidhogg for himself. Only to be consumed by it and vengeance briefly. Whereby, a young secondary Azure Dragoon in the Warrior of Light intervene and gave Estinien the chance to get a grip on the power he now held. And so for a time, Estinien let the vengeance fester and smolder in his breast while keeping the eye's influence at bay. Knowing he'd be used as a weapon should he falter. Vowing to go and defend where the horde went. So when it soon arrived on his door step at the Steps of Faith. He fought alongside the Warrior of Light and their comrades to lay low one of Nidhogg's brood. Before retreating into the walls and hunting the remnants by himself.

After another Dravanian attack on Ishgard, he makes his way home only to overhear the mission Alphinaud suggests. And seeks to accompany them, on the condition that if he can not find peace with the Dravanians. He would use this opportunity to finally put an end to Nidhogg once and for all. And so he partakes in this mission, facing off against beasts in the eternal winter snows that are now Coerthas. Tracking down heretics who become dragonkin themselves and meets Ysayle, the leader of the heretical sect which now plagues Ishgard. The twos ideas clashing as they trade verbal blows in the snow and the woodlands of Dravania proper.

But it is here where Estinien slowly begins to change, he sees Ysayle is a woman of her word and believes so completely in her mission just as he does his. She is willing to face off against Ravana, the War God of the Onemind. She tells him of a history, that Ishgard has erased and listens to the visions, the Warrior of Light has through their venture. He then sets himself a secondary goal of learning the full picture of the war and reason behind his family's unnecessary death. In fighting through the Churning Mists and speaking to Hraesvelgr. He is given the information that it was Ishgard who started the war, betraying the Dravanians. And so, as Hraesvelgr isn't in control of Nidhogg's brood. Estinien must leave Ysayle to her revelation and make good on his own promise. Peace is dead, so long as Nidhogg lives. He seeks out the Aery with the Warrior of Light who understands this as well. Before falling back to Ishgard when they have no way to enter the nest.

Eventually, the innovations of Cid Garlond and the Ironworks grant him a way to fly into the nest of Nidhogg. Where he is immediately confronted by the great wyrm. And takes to the skies to battle with the beast while the Warrior of Light cuts a path through the Aery to reach the final battle ground. Using the eye, the subdues Nidhogg and the Warrior of Light aids in weakening the wyrm. Before Estinien clutches upon his vengeance and strikes a deadly blow on the beast. Removing its final eyes and mortally damaging its body, so as to kill the beast. And so Nidhogg fades and Estinien once the symbol of Ishgard's hope in war as the Azure Dragoon. Is coated in the blood of all who came before, choosing only solitary vengeance, the aether from Nidhogg paint his armor a crimson.

The Warrior of Light then has a vision of the knights who came before, of the defeat of Nidhogg having already claimed both his eyes. At the cost of Thordan, his heir to the throne who exiles himself out of shame, and several knights who abandon the cause. And the forming of Ishgard's four great houses. Estinien believing fully in his ally, seeks out Hraesvelgr to find that he had knowingly and willingly allowed for more innocence to suffer. When Nidhogg demanded Hraesvelgr grant him an eye. To avenge their fallen sister, with the full picture now painted. Estinien now has nothing left to avenge, Hraesvelgr will not send his brood against them. Nidhogg is dead and his horde withdrawn. And Ishgard is safe...or so it would seem.

Ishgard burns as the heretics make their play to lay siege to Ishgard. Ysayle however arrives to quell the riots and it is found that the Holy See goaded them in order to use this chance to show their true colors. For without an enemy for Ishgard to unite against, the power of the Holy See falters. The heretics were to be the next force to fight against, but having safely withdrawn. The Holy See selects the Warrior of Light and their foreign allies as this. Estinien watches as Aymeric is made prisoner and Haurchefant is felled. All for knowing the truth of the Dragonsong Wars. Estinien falling back to aid in quelling the riots that break out as Aymeric takes control and Thordan and his Heavens' Ward take wing to Azys Lla with the Warrior of Light in hot pursuit. Eventually returning with a way into Azys Lla from their newly revived companion Y'shtola. Using the eye of Nidhogg, Estinien is able to shatter the barrier surrounded Azys Lla. Only to have to stand by as Ysayle makes her final stand against the Garlean forces. Vowing to avenge her death as they descend into Azys Lla and strike many of the Allagan's beasts as well as full range of Garlean forces.

When the deed is done and Thordan has finally fallen, Estinien feels at ease. At long last, he can rest knowing that the Holy See has paid for their part in his family's death. But that brief respite is all that Nidhogg needs to fully possess his being and become the very thing he raged against himself. He then is made, unwillingly to ruin the peace offering between Dravania and Ishgard and push his horde against its walls once more. Transforming into the shade of the great wyrm himself. Ignited and possessed by its eyes of vengeance. He fights against his allies and friends. The Warrior of Light weakening the Great Wyrm with the aid of Hraesvelgr's eye now set on lasting peace. Both Alphinaud and the Warrior rushing to his side and with the aid of the ghosts of Haurchefant and Ysayle casting the eyes into the abyss. Estinien is finally able to be freed from the influence of vengeance. And find his way in a world of peace.

Ishgard has Aymeric, Dravania has Hraesvelgr. The Azure Dragoon is no longer needed. He now means to make a journey of self-discovery just as the Warrior of Light and Ysayle did themselves. Vanishing from the annuals of history as he wandered the lands. Only to learn through whispers that Nidhogg's eyes remained and they were use to break open a war in Ala Mhigo. And so, feeling it is his duty to see the eyes destroyed. He travels to the Peaks and destroyed the cannon in Castrum Albania. Opening the way for the "little lord" and his allies to strike out at Zenos and find Shinryu. The Warrior of Light doing battle with the Garlean possessed beast. When the body is removed and the victory is sung, Estinien returns to destroy the eyes once and for all. Finally free of his task, he dons the armor of Iceheart. And seeks to become as Ysayle was. The aspect of truth, lighting the path forward to reveal the corruption of man and find peace and solace in it. He would become its spear and so he ventures to the Far East. As whispers of a Dravanian beast arise in the mists. There he befriends the whelp Orn Khai and aids in the freeing of Faunehm from their madness. Reuniting them with their lover Vedrfolnir. He bids the Warrior of Light farewell as he travels the East for a time.

Until, he hears of the Scions disappearing from consciousness one by one and the war between Eorzea and Garlemald reignited. He makes his way to the battle field. Only to meet the ghost of Zenos there. And the Warrior of Light falling unconscious, he quickly spirits them away from the battlefield. And trusts them to Aymeric's care, before falling back once more to the Far East. To learn if any of its ancient healing could revive the Scions. His stay is interrupted by being approached and chased down by Krile and Tataru. Where he is more or less forced to join the Scions and go in Garlean territory.

As he is now the spear of truth, he wishes to get to the bottom of the happenings in Garlemald. Destroying Black Rose factories and coming face to face with another ghost from his allies' past, Gaius van Baelsar. The two make a tentative alliance and begin destroy Black Rose factories and cloning facilities. Until finally hearing whispers that Elidibus is puppeting Zenos. Seeking to strike at the heart of the matter, Estinien joins Gaius and sees the death of Varis and Zenos fully revived. While also uncovering the machinations of a new Ultima Weapon project upon escaping. He takes concern in reporting this as the Warrior of Light falls to one of their echo visions once more. Concerned for his friend, that they might be under possession of some power as he once was. He makes his discomfort known about the echo before going on his way.

Only to once again learn that a horde of dragons is being sent against the Eorzean Alliance. He immediately sneaks into Ishgard to charter a ship to Azys Lla. Only to be reunited once again with the Warrior of Light and ticking off Alisaie in mistaking her for Alphinaud. Along side meeting G'raha Tia returned in the flesh. He is confused but joins them as they make for a mission to speak to and release Tiamat from her binds. Riding her into battle as she finds the resolve to make amends for her past by destroying the tempered Meracydian legion controlled by Fandaniel. He goes toe to toe with a lunar Bahamut and once grounding it, the Warrior of Light slays the shadowed beast. Estinien then shadows Alphinaud to make sure no harm comes to his friend. And defends him against Fordola's cynicism. Joining the Scions soon after to fight against the end of the world. Finding comrades among the Scions. He aids in the journey to Sharlayan and heads into Thavnair with Thancred, Urianger and the Warrior of Light. Where he is more open than he has ever been.

The once, Azure Dragoon showing signs of flaw as he is swindled by a merchant for a hairtye. But also caring as he fetches lassi for his companions to aid in the aether sickness they experience. Immediately upon meeting Vrtra's avatar, he is distrusting of his role in all this. But agrees to aid Thavnair in the coming days as he finds a wyrm who cares for his people. And wants only what it is best for them, knowing Ysayle would approve of such a thing. He throws his all behind Thavnair. Bringing down the Tower of Zot and then igniting the flame of battle in Vrtra's breast when they take to the sky upon the Final Days' arrival. Aiding in the defense of the dragon's kingdom. And doing as the Great Wyrm cannot in his stead. Coming to the aid of Garlean refugees in the north and finally delving into the Aetherstream via the Aitiascope to face off against Fandaniel manifest as Amon and finally Hydaelyn herself. In a final trial for the future of the star. He watches Eorzea's final god fade away, the path now open to question but his duty clear.

Facing his greatest trial yet by meet Alphinaud's mother for a cup of tea. And then flying off to Ultima Thule with his companions. Where he finds the shadows of the Dravanians from their original planet. Twisted by Meteion's despair, not standing for them to wallow in defeat. Igniting the flame of hope in them and unleashing a wind and a path for the Warrior of Light and the Scions to move forward throughout the various dead stars that make up Meteion's nest. Summoned back to full form by the Warrior of Light with the aid of Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus. Diving into the visions of Pestilence, War, and apathetic famine, that Meteion witness and taking the fight to the Endsinger. Even though he is eventually teleported away by the Warrior of Light. He offers up his prayers for their safety and their hope to light their way in the battle. And when the dust settles and they return battle and bruised. They immediately leap to their friends side to offer aid and hope that they awaken. Just as they had when he was bedridden after being freed of Nidhogg's possession.

Here is Estinien, a boy who was made to face a great tragedy. Forged by vengeance, humbled by compassion. Given a second chance at life but scarred by the past. Once only caring to avenge his family but then coming to care for all in Eitheirys. Becoming compassionate, not seeking war as the first action. And finding friends and companions while holding Ysayle's dream as his very armor. Enemy to all dragons now resting in the Kingdom of one. Aiding the Warrior of Light and Y'shtola in the Thirteenth and seeing to the future of Thavnair and its people however he may. A boy hardened by tragedy, a man softened by love and care. Free from his past but using it as a cautionary tale of how to proceed. Showing that kindness is not a weakness but a strength and that we are better than our worst fears. We shouldn't shackle ourselves by the wrongs we have done but by the good we can still do. And to give it our all.

...or maybe its just a tale about dressing a hot elf in various armors and then making us watch him half naked doing push ups as our companion suggest we disrobe with him as well.

Either way, he is an amazing character. Once a one off chump to be the bad guy of a Dragoon Questline. Now a fully fledged companion for us.

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classyyashit · 1 year

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I’m going to try and put my thoughts into words here but this movie had me feeling all of the things so it might come off a little rambly. Everything Everywhere All at Once was chock full of delicate and beautifully portrayed metaphors about child/parent relationships, but the what hit me the hardest was the connection between Joy/Jobu Tapaki’s story and the impact familial acceptance can have on young adults dealing with suicidal ideation.

Joy desperately wants to be accepted by her family, in particular Evelyn, something she has never felt in her life. Joy as Jobu Tupaki literally ransacks the multiverse searching for a version of her mother who can relate to her, who can see what she sees and feel what she feels. As she’s causing chaos, her reasoning is that nothing matters, that everyone is small and stupid and has no impact on anything. How many people with depression or who have been through trauma feel that same numbness or turn to apathy to cope? If nothing matters, if no one matters, nothing your family does or says can hurt you anymore. Joy created the bagel to escape her endless existence, to die and find peace, but told Evelyn that she was hoping her mother would see something she didn’t, that her mother could convince her there was another way. Even with the constant judgement and emotional abuse she experienced from her mother, she was hoping that version of Evelyn, the version who hopefully saw her for who she was, would give her a reason to live.

In their final confrontation outside of the laundromat, we see Joy break down. She’s tired, and doesn’t want to hurt anymore, and the person who hurts her the most is her mother. Only Evelyn FINALLY hearing her, finally accepting her as she is, makes her reach back from the edge of death by bagel and decide to give life another chance. How many teens and young adults desperately search for that same acceptance from the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally and never find it? Decide death is the only way to find peace?

The apathy Joy portrays is lived experience for so many people. ESPECIALLY lgbtq+ people, who are systemically vilified for being who they are, often by the people they love. It is fucking exhausting. I’m not saying that our existence should solely depend on external acceptance and validation, however, how many people would still be here today if someone in their lives had reached out and said hey, I was wrong, you are valid, I see you, and I love you. Anyways, maybe I’m reading into things that aren’t there but this really hit me hard. This movie was beautifully made and had so many incredibly important and impactful messages and I’m just so grateful for the writers, cast and crew who brought it into existence.

#everything everywhere all at once #tw su1cide #tw depression #eeao #eeaao #myramblings #sorry for the run on sentences I have a lot of thoughts

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eribeen · 5 months

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The Pretender

A/N: hi! This is Eribin. I am not a real writer, doing this as my past time. English is not my first language so bear with my English. There’s a lot of grammatical and typographical errors. This is just a fiction from my delusions 😆

WARNING: swearing, Physical abuse? (like in a friendly way)

CAST: Takahide Suzuki and Y/N

Y/N’s POV

“Y/N, please? Help me! This will be the last, I promise!” Takahide pleaded as he followed me. I'm on my way to the cafeteria for lunch during our break, when this jackass just appeared out of nowhere. We’re not classmates, gladly! He’s Takahide, my best friend. a childhood best friend.

“I don’t want to,” I said, and I kept walking. He blocked my way, held my shoulders, and looked at me intently.

"Y/N, please? She doesn’t want us to break up, but I am done with her. She’s so noisy, and she’s not like you. She’s demanding and annoying. Please! This is the last one. I promise!” He said, but I just looked away.

"Takahide, you should be the one cleaning up the mess you’ve made. The last time I said yes to this, I ended up being slapped and embarrassed in public," I said. He wants me to pretend to be his girlfriend again and confront the girl he’s talking about to break up with him. Takahide just let out an awkward laugh and removed his hands from my shoulder.

“But you get even with her, right? You even punched her when she slapped you," he said while laughing. I rolled my eyes at him, and he even laughed harder. “As your best friend, help me, Please?” he pleaded, showing puppy eyes.

“Fine. THIS.WILL.BE.THE.LAST Baka.” I said. He knows I can’t turn him down when he shows his cute side and says the best friend card. Baka is my endearment for him, which means stupid.

“Yeeeesss!!!!” He said this and jumped out of joy. He faced me while smiling widely. My heart skips a beat whenever he’s smiling genuinely at me. Yes, you’re right. I’m in love with him. I don’t know when and where, but I just woke up and realized that he’s important to me, and I get jealous of his girlfriends. YES, GIRLFRIENDSSSSSSSSSSSSS, this guy is a chickboy.

“I knew it! You can’t say no to my handsomeness!" He added, which made me make a face at him.

“Says who you’re handsome, Baka? I don’t find you that even attractive. I dunno why many girls run after you. Just eeewwww," I said and continued to walk. I was just joking at the part that he’s not attractive. He’s very attractive in my eyes.

“H-hey! I'm so handsome. Many girls told me that” he defended himself. I let out a small, sarcastic laugh.

“Whatever! maybe they are blind” I continued to walk, heading to the cafeteria. Finally! I can eat now.

“She’s in the cafeteria, Y/N.” I rolled my eyes at him. Myghad! I’m famished! I thought I can now eat in peace

“Can’t I just eat first? Can't that wait?” I asked.

“I’ll treat you outside. Whatever restaurant you like” he said. He really know how to please me.

“What does she looks like?” I asked him, and he described her, and now I'm currently walking towards her. That Baka left outside. He will just wait. Mayu is laughing and talking with her friends. Not bad, Takahide. She's pretty, AF.

“Mayu,right?” I asked the moment I stood in front of her. They stopped laughing, and all of their eyes went up to me.

Fuck you, Takahide! She seems like such a wonderful person. "Ahh yes? Who are you?" she questioned me naively.

"I am Y/N, Takahide’s girlfriend— scratch that, fiancè, I mean.” I said, and their eyes were like bawling out of shock. I let out a small smile at them.

“I don’t believe in you," she just said, and she had teary eyes. I mentally rolled my eyes, and I want to beat Takahide’s ass right now.

“Then don't; I'm just saying this as early as possible so it won’t hurt you that much. Eventually, he will find another girl to play with and leave you hanging behind," I said, putting my hands in my pocket. “Break up with him, Mayu. You don’t deserve Takahide. You deserve better," I said, and I was about to leave when she shouted something that makes me realized my real feelings

“Is it okay for you then? That he’s playing around behind your back; you’re his fiancé, right?” I turn to face her and just smile. More likely, a miserable smile. A great smile but my eyes are filled with sadness

I went out of the cafeteria, and the moment I saw Takahide, he was smiling while looking at his phone. more likely, a victory for him. My blood boils. I pulled his hair when I came near him.

“Aawww!! What is that for? You’re being a sadist now, Y/N,” he said. It just hit me when Mayu said that if it’s okay with me if Takahide is playing around, of course not. will never be. It’s not okay with me. But I don’t have the rights. We’re not a thing. I mean—he’s not even mine to begin with. I'm just his best friend. only his best friend. I didn’t answer him and headed back to my room. I have no appetite to eat right now. especially with him. I am irritated with his face right now.

“H-hey!!” He said as he grabbed my arms to stop me from walking away from him.

“What now, Takahide? I'm tired, so don’t bother me for a while," I said, continuing to walk away from him.

“Wait up, Y/N; I will treat you to lunch, right?” He said while chasing me. He stopped me once again.

“Treat yourself then. Congratulations on being single again! Then go ahead, find another girl, and fuck their lives, and I will be here to clean up again the messes you’ve made," I said out of frustration. I am more than mad right now. at him and myself. I wish I could teach my heart to unlove him.

“What’s wrong? That would be the last. What happened inside?" He just asked.

“You. And this," I said as I pointed at my heart. He seems confused with my words, but I don’t care. I left him there, but moments later, I could feel his hands once again in my arms. He stopped me and faced me.

“What do you mean, Y/N?" I remained silent. Good thing it’s lunch break and most of the students are in the canteen or outside the campus. I am contemplating if I should admit my feelings for him. But I knew once I confessed, our friendship would be over. Whatever happens, happens.

“I like you, Baka. No— I love you. But I shouldn’t love you, right? We’re best friends," I said, and he was silent and looked down. He's like disappointed? I let out a sigh. I knew it. He will reject me because he doesn’t like me.

“Fuck you, Takahide. Don’t come near me for a while, please,” I said as I walked away. I cried while walking away. What the hell happened? Did I just confess? Haist! You’re so stupid! It makes me more disappointed when he does not come after me. Maybe I’m right. He doesn’t like me at all.

—————— 1 week later

One week had passed. He really did not show his face to me. I’m glad, but there’s something inside me saying, ‘I miss him’. Fuck! You shouldn't, Y/N! You should move on from now on.

Pretender? Yeah, that’s me. I pretended that I didn’t have feelings for him. I'm the greatest pretender. It’s okay with me to be just a friend, as long as he’s always by my side. I was so stupid last time for confessing my feelings. And now, I regret it. My heart feels so heavy after that incident, and up until now, it has never felt at ease.

“Y/N, someone’s looking for you. He’s outside,” my classmate said. My heart skips a beat. He? A man? Takahide? I went out, and there’s no one outside. The hell? no one's outside. I will punch my classmate for making fun of me. I was about to go inside the room when a man grabbed my left arm and dragged me along with him. Oh? where he came from?

“Baka..” I silently said as he dragged me. He looks so serious. He never glanced at me. What the hell is up with this guy? He never showed his face for a week and just dragged me out of nowhere! Good thing it's a festival right now and most of the faculty are not in school right now. We’re just required to go to school for general cleaning or something.

We’re now on the school rooftop. No one’s here aside from us.

“Why did you drag me here? If you want us to talk, you can just say, or we can talk outside our room,” I said while checking my arm, which he held.

“Y/N, about last week—" I cut him off by picking his ears.

“A-aw!! Aawww!! Yah! That hurts! " He said as he tried to get out of my hands in his ears.

“About last week, forget it, Takahide. I was carried away by my emotions. That will never happen again," I said, smiling at him, but he was still serious and his face was stern.

"No,” he simply said, closing our distance while still intently looking at me. My heart skipped a beat for a moment as he went close to me. My body just froze and couldn’t move.

“Takahide?" I uttered, but it looks like he’s not happy.

“Don’t call me that. Call me Baka like you always do,” he seriously said, and I stood up straight. Chin up, chest out.

“Why would I? Don’t tell me what to do! You’re just my best friend," I said proudly at him. It looks like he’s not happy with it.

"Best friend to future lover,” he seriously said. I looked at him in disbelief, like that was an awful kind of look. I can't believe him at times like this

“Stop joking around, Baka. I’ll go back to my room. Bye,” I said and turned my back at him, but he hugged me from behind.

“Y/N, I missed you. One week without your presence is torture for me. I didn’t bother you for a week, like you said, but I am watching you from afar. I am a jerk. I know. I played, and I broke many innocent hearts. I shouldn’t have done that in the first place. I am deeply sorry for you and for them, but I will make this right, I promise," Takahide said as he made me face him. I was stunned for a moment hearing all of this from him. ‘What does he mean by that?’

“Y/N, if you allow me, I will correct all my wrongdoings and let me court and love you,” he seriously said while looking at my eyes and brushing my hair out of my face and putting it behind my ears. Did I hear it, right? He will court me and love me.

“I regret all of it. I know this is lame, but I just do it because I want to divert my attention to other girls. I have loved you ever since, Y/N. The first time I saw you playing in the rain, I was sure that I liked you. I am scared of losing and hurting you because I know I am not capable enough; I am not the right person for you; I am a jerk; I am a coward; basically, I am a walking red flag. If you didn’t confess that day, I will continue playing with girls' hearts. I didn’t know that we had the same feeling with each other,” he said, and I just stared at him. Eh? So— he loves me too?

“I love you, Y/N.” He said as his head headed towards mine. Is he going to kiss me? But I kicked his legs.

“Aw! Aaaww! Aaawww!! What the— what’s your problem!?” He shouted as he limped in front of me.

“My problem?? You, Baka! What do you think of me, Huh? Am I that easy for you? " I shouted back. We’re always like this. Trust me. Maybe our love language to each other is shouting. Not good, right? But this is how we're used to.

“What? Ofcourse not! "He said

“Then why are you going to kiss me? Did I say yes? Did I give you permission? You should earn my yes, you Baka! " I said, turning my back at him. The moment I turned around, a smile was written all over my face. I am suppressing my happiness right now. I am happy that this is not a one-sided story. I will not hide. I will not be a pretend girlfriend anymore. No more pretending. A tear came out of my eyes, finally!

"okay! okay! I will court you and earn your yes. I know you can't say no to my charm" he shouted while limping. I, walking away put my finger heart at him and laugh. He stood up well and smiled.

THE END

#suzuki takahide #love #my edit #exile tribe #the rampage #boyfriend #fangirl #the rampage from exile tribe #high and low #japanese #one shot #story #short story #au #fanfiction #fanfic

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mdhwrites · 7 months

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So, do you think Sasha kinda is like Zuko on Avatar in a sense too? Sure Zuko got more time for his abusive dad than Sasha for her family, but the core is the same on redemption and all.

Both are

obsessed with their goals in season 1

- are on the run alongside someone serving as a parent figure to them (Grime and Iroh) in season 2

have a moment of bonding with the heroes and seemingly considering redemption before betraying everyone in the season 2 finales

have their full on redemptions in season 3

Heck, it's telling that Aang is the one who ends up defeating Ozai in the end instead of Zuko (who never even faces him in the finale).

TL:DR The two share oversimplified plot similarities (you literally use a third act redemption as evidence when like... That's just literally narrative structure?) but the details of their characters and what their arcs are about are drastically different. It does warrant comparison, as two villains turned good guys by finding peace with their worlds but the details for both are actually very different, allowing for both to be great shows of this sort of general archtype. Their 'core' similarity as you posit is really just a writing trope or narrative structure much more than it is specifically about the two and their arcs.

I never considered the Grime and Sasha parallel though what's fun with that is Grime is absolutely not like Uncle Iroh. Iroh pushed Zuko's better nature while Grime actually fuels Sasha's negative nature. He introduces her to effectively the calculus of war while Zuko's father is the one who did it for him. It's an interesting contrast and part of why I say that while Grime didn't mean to, he wasn't actually all that healthy for Sasha to know, taking her darkness to extremes. Also, 'obsessed with their goals' is just not right for Sasha in S1. Her goal is to get home with her friends but she is explicitly not in a rush to do so. She's here to have fun because she is incredibly self serving. She uses her perceived status as hero for her friend as an excuse. That making her happy must make everyone happy. Meanwhile, Zuko isn't self serving beyond wanting to literally be allowed to go home. He's never doing things just to treat himself or make himself happy until S2 which is explicitly a part of his arc. That he actually needs to care more about himself than what others desire of him and find his own definitions for things like honor, leading to the evil of the Fire Nation's expectations and his long buried, good heart coming to war with each other.

Meanwhile, Sasha's arc is actually much more extrospective than it is introspective but in a really good way. She needs to learn to stop playing in this fantasy of hers that she has created where the world is her toy. Realize other people matter and have desires and feelings that she needs to stop gaslighting, gatekeeping or girlbossing against. That her happiness does not mean the happiness for all.

Honestly, it makes it so that if she shares anything with an Avatar character... It's probably Azula. And why shouldn't it be? Azula is someone who takes pleasure in controlling people and genuinely believes that anyone can be crushed or used for her own desires. She treats even her friends like pawns and Reunion shows that Sasha isn't much better than that. That Anne is still subject to SASHA'S whims.

The difference is that while Sasha sees herself as a hero and so can be confronted with how she hurts people and cares enough about Anne to be motivated to change, Azula believes herself to be a queen. It's actually part of why becoming the Fire Lord fucks with her so hard. This is the day she was always waiting for but the goal post becomes impossible as her father discards it. This thing she has always wanted is now ash and so she loses her mind trying to pretend that it still matters despite her still being number two. Still not being the best despite the fact that she has always perceived herself as above EVERYONE.

Buuuuut, especially with current analytical trends I see, no one is going to think about Sasha with Azula. They don't share enough narrative parallels for anyone to consider it despite how much their characters have parallels. Both have two friends who have varying levels of loyalty to her and differing skill sets. Both are manipulators, both for fun and profit. They will destroy you if you upset them but also believe that once loyalty is given to them, they no longer need to earn that loyalty again.

These are all genuinely character based similarities and based on overall behavior... Which I think people struggle with analyzing nowadays. When I see people talk about arcs, it's mostly with the big ticket moments or the like. With the episodes everyone loves rather than an actual aggregate of the character. This is exactly the sort of thinking that leads to people say Anne doesn't have an arc in S1 or makes people think Marcy treated Amphibia as nothing but a game because the literal only episode they're analyzing is True Colors and specifically her speech.

My blogs are as long as they because I look more for the aggregate. I am as cruel to TOH's character arcs because those writers themselves want to throw away elements of the characters and ignore the aggregate when that's REALLY important.

So yeah, from a very basic, narrow view, Sasha and Zuko seem similar... But only because they're redeemed villains. Zuko in S2 explicitly NEEDS time away from Aang in order to grow. It's why he reverts at the end when presented his prize. Losing the hunt lets him breathe. Meanwhile, Sasha's exile with Grime is not so good for her mental state. She doubles down because she showed a moment of weakness and HATES it. She is at her absolute worst in S2... Until reunited with Anne and Marcy who make her question things. That alone is a DRASTIC difference in how their arcs narratively function as for Zuko it shows what he could be if he chose peace while with Sasha it shows how much she genuinely does care about her girls, even if her need for control and to keep her fantasy intact guarantees she won't change until she hits absolute rock bottom.

The Turning Point for Sasha, pun intended, is when she has nothing left. When she cannot support her fantasy at all and keep doing this. When she realizes that her care for Anne and want to be a hero means that she can't keep only serving herself. Not when she has only brought misery to others for so long. For Zuko, it's when he has EVERYTHING. A hot goth girlfriend, the respect of his people, his 'honor back, etc. but the point is that the Fire Nation is choosing war. Choosing death. Things that Zuko can no longer enjoy and so he has to make the incredibly difficult choice of throwing it all away because he cannot be a part of The Fire Nation anymore. He exiled himself in S2 just as much as Ozai exiled him in S1.

It still makes them interesting to compare, this blog has been a lot of fun for me to write, because they are both villains turned good in very interesting ways... But they aren't the same. Not even close. Every step on their journey is incredibly different simply by the nature of what drives them and who they are as a character. Which... Good. That's how it should be.

The only times you should be able to claim two characters are practically the same is if they're both kind of boring.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #sasha waybright #zuko #princess azula #atla

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robo-milky · 10 months

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1. I have no issue in being the spokesman for this ship i swear. Also so be it, outta the way Cloche, Epel bby come here 😍

2. I thought that ask didnt send?? I completely forgot about the carved apple hc thou good thing you still saw it <3

3. Im just now noticing being tagged as a mutual?? Like i know you follow me too but the tag 😭💕

4. And lastly response to the previous ask (this has been a series of full-blown responses, back and forth amongst us)

Shinning light on Epel's character, he does indeed feel conflicted. He fears Cloche's paranoia and vulnerability after the incident is what made them to be closer. If that's the case then he hates it. Dont get me wrong now Epel's the kind who "fell first and fell harder" but he wants to be sure that his Relationship with Cloche even as friends is genuine. He wants to be sure that the closeness Cloche develops with him is not related to her incident even in the slightest. While he still sees glimpses of OG Cloche with how she responds it still makes him uneasy with how he got closer to her in a few months then he could in a year. He knows Cloche doesn't like him back. The way she looks at his vice housewarden with love in her eyes, he wishes he could be that person. (Dont be jealous of that wannabe Dora 🫶)

But he knows he'll never be. But that doesnt mean he wants to cut all ties with Cloche. She is still special to him. He can move on but he knows that wont be the case for a good while but till then he'll be there for Cloche in her time of need when rook is ojt for internships.

Now thats enough angst on my side since now i just feel bad 😭

That being said, signing off till the next responses, peace out and hugging cloche <3 (and hugs for you as well :D )

Throwing in a lighthearted meme as a cleanser <3 If you know the source, you know 😭 God… The amount of layers to get this- (Shout out to y’all following along the SY! Cloche lore)

[Response]

The true ship was Epel x justm3di0cr3 all along- I’m losing it at the irony of you being the spokesperson of ClochEpel yet also writing the downfall(?) (er… Not ClochEpel ClochEpel)

Sending hearts back at ya <3 Any mutual is a mutual ^^

Going straight for the angst path I see- Not that I’m complaining- I’m all for it!

Waiting for Cloche’ epiphany arc to come, when she finally realizes she shouldn’t have taken Epel and his feelings for granted when he’s gone for good. Before the incident, Cloche would have known about Epel’s one-sided affections for her (at some point), but she’s more confused why he would like her. With that, if Epel ever confronts SY!Cloche to set things straight or were vocal about missing the old Cloche, she’d feel upset and lost.

As the person experiencing the changes, Cloche views the new development as growth. OG!Cloche was distant, always trying to not be a burden, and now she’s opening up her heart to rely on others willingly. Cloche, herself, didin’t think the incident changed her, but was an excuse for her to act upon the fears she already had. How Cloche sees herself vs how Epel sees her, would make for an interesting conflict of misunderstandings. Since Epel wants to be there for Cloche, he probably wouldn’t voice his personal conflicts, and Cloche is too prideful to open up any more.

The few remnants of OG!Cloche that Epel can find, is mostly her uncaring, “so be it” attitude. Despite having been there for her for so long, he’s still bitter that a simple “Salut” from Rook on Magicam is enough to make her …smile. (Barely. The corners of her mouth can tilt up by 1mm, I guess.)

When SY!Cloche does feel better, she wouldn’t apologize to Epel, but more so give a word of acknowledgement. She’d drop the bomb out of nowhere, when they’re just alone, without any warnings at all. And ofc, in OG!Cloche fashion, it’d be hella dry but gets the point across. She is chewing on her pride (she cannot swallow it completely.)

“Thanks …for everything. You make this world a little more tolerable, I guess…”

FR— Epel dealing with SY!Cloche’ hot-n-cold reception is such a big improvement from OG!Cloche’ hot-n-cold.

#mutuals 🎊#ask 🎊#second year! cloche #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #twst ocs #twst epel #epel felmier #epel x oc #oc x epel #clochepel #cloche x epel #epel x cloche

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deathbxnny · 11 months

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Hi can I request x male reader, but before the details can I request multiple character from different games and do you know about nijisanji it's a vtuber agency, so the reader is like ice queen freya from the huntsman winter war

Freya, also known as the Ice Queen, was the secondary antagonist and anti-hero of The Huntsman: Winter's War.

A powerful sorceress with the ability to manipulate ice and snow, Freya was the second-born daughter of an unnamed sorceress, the younger sister of Queen Ravenna and the older sister of Finn, the secret lover of the late Duke of Blackwood, and the mother of her late infant daughter and Sara's adoptive mother.

Although she seemed to be as cold, ruthless, and manipulative as her sister, Freya was also as much a victim of tragic circumstances I as Ravenna had been, and showed in numerous instances that she still had retained some semblances of decency and compassion. Ultimately, she proved to be a sympathetic character, especially given how she helped Eric to destroy her evil sister once and for all. Though this act of redemption cost Freya her very life, her open rejoicing at seeing Eric and Sara reunited in love before she died was a testament of sorts to her never being truly evil, and that she had finally found peace in seeing the power of love conquer all

And the character is gepard ( hsr ) kevin kaslana ( hi3rd ) , Vlad ( ikemen vampire) , vox akuma ( nijisanji)

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A/N: So, I wasn't exactly sure what you wanted me to write about necessarily, so I pieced something together for you. Also, I do not know who Vlad or Fox Akuma are, so I only limited this to Gepard and Kevin. Thank you for the request!<33

Content: Established relationship, some angst, fluff, mentions of self sacrifice, hurt/comfort(kinda), post eruption Kevin, sfw

Reader has no mentioned pronouns, but is asked to be male!

((Not fully proofread))

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》Gepard Landau

He noticed quickly, that you aren't as cold and heartless as most described you as. He was able to easily get through the ice walls you built around your heart and make you finally feels some love and care.

He knows you've had a troubled past and therefore does his best to replace the sad memories with good one's. He swears on his life as a Captain, that he won't ever let you slip into that dark place you were once in ever again.

With that said, he understands your need to end your evil sister and is more than willing to help you out with all the resources he has at hand. What he however won't accept, is you sacrificing yourself. He'll find a difficult solution to this and would be even willing to find his own end, if it meant for you to stay alive and live on with a better life.

-----♡

》Kevin Kaslana

Kevin was a cold and cynical person himself, even if he found some compassion through meeting and falling in love with you. He quickly noticed how your own cold and heartless demeanor was just a facade, something that changed him in many ways. You showed him how to live a better life, despite the darkness in his heart.

Which is why he shows his gratitude for you by directly confronting you and telling you to be yourself. Sure, his approach may be harsh as most things are with him, but he doesn't want his love to be hurt any longer. Despite how he was, he was still able to mend your broken heart, something he denied being a big deal out of stubbornness.

With that said, however, he is too selfish to let you just sacrifice yourself to end your evil sister. He doesn't see him losing you as worth it and therefore take it into his own hands. You're the only thing keeping him sane in his miserable world and he'd be damned, if he lost you over something like this.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay and am sorry, if it wasn't really good... I thank you again for the request however!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #honkai impact 3rd #honkai impact fanfic #honkai impact x you #hi3 x reader #hsr gepard #hsr gepard x reader #hi3 kevin #hi3 kevin x reader

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