#but this is just making me stress and freak out thinking they’re fucking dead somewhere and I have no idea about it and like I think my aunt

[troglobite]

i doubt anyone will read this bc either tumblr is hiding most of my posts or ppl (rightly) skip over my read more posts bc they’re a bunch of fucking bullshit

but anyway warning i get extremely fucking depressed and talk about wanting to die. i’m fine, i’m safe. nothing’s going to happen. but fucking christ, man. 

anyway on with the post--

i’m trying to figure out a productive and healthy way to express this

i want to be dead

i wish i was dead

i don’t want to be alive

i hate everything

it’s all hopeless and i don’t want to exist

i don’t necessarily feel like this all the time

i’m finding other jobs (my mom is, because i’m a pathetic useless lump who deserves to be summarily executed for the crime of ever having been born)

i’m working on my miss frizzle game (not right now, bc rn i’m struggling through a job app and fighting off the feeling of wanting to die)

i just sent an email about a possible commission of my clownsona

but ultimately

i have nothing to live for

the world is actively falling apart around me and I FUCKING KNOW i’m supposed to find something productive to do to help, something to focus on that helps the world in some way, so that i don’t feel this way

but there is nothing. there is nothing i can do. 

the joke is that i have spent every day since JANUARY 2020 doing everything in my power to keep from getting sick and to keep from dying

and my desire to not want to be alive anymore doesn’t mean that i’m going out and huffing covid patients’ breath or licking door handles in public schools

in no way shape or form do i want THOSE (plagues) to be my mode of death

i haven’t really thought that far ahead, so i guess that’s something. i’m not planning much of anything. i probably won’t. 

which is why i just. 

need to say this SOMEWHERE where people won’t freak out and report me. because i’m not going to do anything.

but i don’t think i can say anything to my therapist on friday.

and my friends (the extremely small number of them that even exist) aren’t in any headspace to deal with this.

but i just have to PUT THIS SOMEWHERE. 

i’m lonely. i have no legitimate prospects. i’m going to lose my job in two weeks even though my boss had 7 months to talk to me about any of this or warn me and she hasn’t, and she STILL hasn’t. i’m still, officially, completely in the dark about my job.

i’ve spent the majority of this year so far fighting with people at the university over this fucking lousyass job.

and now the first job i had lined up back in may stopped hiring, and they STILL aren’t hiring

and now the SECOND job i had lined up isn’t hiring anymore

and i’m having to cave to all of these fucked up questionable high stress positions that won’t pay much

i’m having to grovel on my knees, on my stomach, for any fucking job

because i have to work from home

why? because i refuse to get sick and die because of capitalism

but also that situation in and of itself makes me wish i was dead

my mom is leaving in two weeks, as well, right as i lose my job. 

for the world’s most dangerous country-long road trip for a “celebration of life” for her older sister who was chronically ill for 20 year before passing. and somehow no one sees the fucking DEADLY IRONY of holding a CELEBRATION OF LIFE in the middle of TWO UNRESOLVED UNCONTROLLED HIGHLY DEADLY HIGHLY DANGEROUS PANDEMICS

so i get to sit ALONE in the house

in absolute terror and agony and fear and heartsickness

trying to figure out a new job on my own

and just. deal with. everything. on my own.

i don’t have anyone or anything. 

what’s the point? what is the FUCKING point?

i look at myself and i hate myself with so much fucking virulent DISGUST

i’m so tired.

i’m so tired of trying and failing and being shit on or exploited or hated or disregarded

i took one voice acting/over class. that led nowhere. 

i wanted to do this INCREDIBLE shakespeare course. it’s just never going to happen. i’ve asked. 

i applied TWICE to a free workshop for people just getting into recording audiobooks. i’ve been denied BOTH times.

i tried a new job last year that went so poorly i quit in three months.

i applied to TWO editorial internships at publishing houses. i was rejected for one and the other one is w fucking PRH which is embroiled in that lawsuit right now. FUN.

i applied to a freelance editor position last year for a kids publishing house. after 6 months, they FINALLY rejected me because i “wasn’t up to their standards”. even though the application call went out on TWITTER and asked for ANYONE OF ANY LEVEL OF EXPERIENCE to apply, particularly from marginalized groups. it literally said we did NOT need to know ALL of their in-house editing rules on our editing sample test, bc we would be taught on the job. and then 6 months later they said “no, fuck you, you’re trash”

i ALMOST got a preceptor position at a university for a theater course with a GREAT professor who i really liked (based on our interactions in the interview), but then he ghosted me for 2 weeks bc his university stopped allowing out of state hires. i emailed him again recently and he said sorry, same problem. i’ll reach out if we ever solve it/can hire out of state again. 

i’m just. tired of trying. and failing. and having nothing work out. or being rejected for stupid reasons.

and then this week finding out that my superior and EIC for the journal i work for at my job thinks that i was “mean” to a fucking lousyass student who CHEATED on their paper. i called them out on it--they didn’t read ANY of their sources and demonstrated a complete lack of understanding about rape, rape culture, toxic masculinity, power, and sexual assault, and i’m just supposed to LET THAT SLIDE? i don’t care if this is supposed to be a supportive and encouraging environment--I WAS BEING ENCOURAGING AND SUPPORTIVE BY BEING HONEST WITH THE STUDENT INSTEAD OF LETTING THAT SHIT FLY. 

i’m just trash! i’m fucking trash!

no one wants to play my fucking miss frizzle game! no one wants to talk to me! or play games with me! I DON’T FUCKING MATTER!

 I TRULY JUST DON’T MATTER!

my life is fucking pathetic and empty and useless and occasionally i try to do something to fill the vacuous empty void eating me alive and i just feel WORSE. more consumption and wasteful spending to try and make ME feel better. i deserve to die.

i deserve to be dead.

i’m tired of being here. 

i don’t have any hope for anything. it’s just status quo until the majority of us go up in flames or underwater or away in winds or in a fucking shooting or a plague or a war or SOMETHING. WHO KNOWS.

i never, not once, thought that i would die young. i hoped i wouldn’t. i made it through my teenage years without any serious su/cidality. 

and now here i am. 27, almost 28. in the middle of two plagues. fascism on the rise. no hopes or prospects in my personal life. nothing to really LIVE for. 

it’s pathetic and disgusting and i wish i was dead. i wish i had anyone or anything to live for. not to put it all on them, but so that i could process this shit on my own and not feel this way.

but instead here i am. typing it all out on tumblr like some pathetic fucking loser.

i’ll probably fucking delete this, too, it’s fucking gross and embarrassing and it’s not anyone’s problem but my own. i know no one cares or has the energy/wherewithal space to care.

but in case you’re wondering why it might seem like i haven’t been reaching out or caring--

this is partly why.

the other reason is that if we mostly talk over tumblr then tumblr has cut off all of my major forms of communication with y’all. i’m being deliberately isolated even more than i already am.

this is just. pathetic. and hopeless. idk what to do with any of this. i want to break something. i want to take a sledgehammer and break things until my body falls apart. 

[eepyjay]

really wanting a hug or any kind of physical affection/comfort right now

#having a freak out because I havent heard from my parents since like 9pm and it’s almost 6am #I have my dads location and knew where he was until like 1:20am because he randomly stopped sharing his location with me out of nowhere #which is what’s making me freak out the most because why would he do that he’s never done that before and he did it literal as the sat in #our driveway and then left again? I have no idea where they are are I tried not to let my thoughts consume me and just try to ignore it and #think they’re out at a bar or with friends but it’s so late now and all my brain can think is something terrible has happened and I’m just #having a break down over it and I just tried to call my dad and he didn’t answer and I dont want to blow up his phone if he’s just sleeping #but this is just making me stress and freak out thinking they’re fucking dead somewhere and I have no idea about it and like I think my aunt #and uncles car is in our driveway but it also looks like the truck my parents were driving and another one is gone so I dont get it like #if they’re at my uncles why would he turn his location off that the big thing that’s bothering me I feel like he doesn’t even know how to do #that on his own and I’m just having a fucking freak out if you couldn’t tell #there’s fucking something mentally wrong with me this shouldn’t be happening and it’s just adding to my freak out and stress #I just want to be fucking normal and not cry and be so scared over this and now I’m gonna just have to stay up until I hear from them idk #what else to do really and like I want to blow up my dads phone until he answers but also I dont in case he’s sleeping and I #don’t want to wake him up or make him made or anything like that if it’s nothing and I dont want them to know just how much I’m freaking out #because idk how to tell them my brain is just this fucked up and they can’t just do this they can’t just not tell me where they’ve gone #after he’s stopped sharing his location because now my mind is running rampant thinking someone fucking did something to them or there was a #accident or something and I hate this I wish my brain was normal

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ◈ you being followed

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon​ ♡ )

genre/s: comfort, skz x gn reader

warning/s: description of being followed on the street, descriptions / mentions of panic attacks

wc: 1.8k

a/n: this one took me quite a while but i’m happy with it !!! i decided to write out a longer introduction to this to kinda set up a scene !! i hope y’all enjoy it (esp the comforting parts ofc kdjdjf)

it’s somewhat unlike you to walk alone at night. you figured it would only take you a few minutes, but you got out of work late, setting you back quite a while. to make things worse, while you were working overtime, the sun had set, leaving you to traverse the dimly lit city streets on your own. all you know is that your boyfriend left the door open for you, and a couch date sounds really great right now.

somewhere along your walk, you heard a shuffling noise coming from behind you. you disregarded it, thinking it may have been simple paranoia. you’ve seen too many movies, you think. however, as you keep up your leisurely yet steady pace, you hear another noise. this time you turn around.

a man. in a black hoodie. looking you dead in the eye.

your eyes widen as a small gasp leaves your mouth. needless to say, you begin sprinting to your destination, heart racing at a pace that rivals the speed of your feet. with your focus aimed at getting as far away as you can, you’re honestly not even sure how your legs know where they’re going. nevertheless, your saving grace comes into view. after a quick glance at the now empty street behind you, you sprint even faster than before. and, once you make it to the apartment door, you fling the door open and leap inside with enough force to rattle the hinges.

“y/n? what’s wro-”

“i was being followed,” you interject, a choked sob finally escaping you.

◈ CHAN

his first instinct, no matter what, is to make sure you feel safer now.

he’ll sit you down on the couch, staying close beside you and rubbing your back while reiterating that whoever that man was is gone now.

i’ve always liked to think he’d be good to have around in the event of a panic attack. especially if you’re the type of person who needs physical and verbal reassurance. back rubs, hugging, and breathing reminders galore.

once you’ve calmed down, he would wipe away your tears and hold you close to him as he asks you about the rest of your day.

he’s an amazing listener and he can’t wait to hear about the latest employee or customer gossip lmao

but more importantly, it would take your mind off things, which is all he truly wants.

if you start looking a bit gloomy or drifting off in thought, he’d probably suggest some cuddle time !! he would make sure to remind you of how courageous you were in that moment before promising you one last time that you’re safer now, here with him.

you’d finally fall asleep in his arms, filling him with relief.

◈ MINHO

first reaction: absolutely pissed.

not at you of course, but at the guy who was following you. with you still in his arms, he glances pointedly out the front door and the windows, closing the blinds after giving the entire apartment a once-over.you end up in the bedroom, in which he’ll guide you to sit beside him on the bed.

his expression will have completely changed from anger to loving concern. he’d look deeply into your eyes while holding both your hands in his, assuring you that you’re safe now.while you continue to cry, you explain what had happened in more detail. he strokes your hair as you speak and nods along, blood boiling.

he can’t stand the thought of any person making you feel unsafe. but, he’d maintain a calm exterior in order to make you feel more at ease.

once you describe the whole situation, he’d reassure you once again that the man can’t get to you now.

“he’ll have to get through me.”

you giggle.

“hEY”

◈ CHANGBIN

i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho !!

very visibly pissed that some random guy had the nerve to intimidate you. that dude’s lucky he didn’t follow you the whole way home or else he’d probably be pretty uh. damaged. by now..

he’d sit you down on the couch, do a quick check-in at each of the windows and doors, and come back as soon as he can to console you.

when he does, he’s quick to sit beside you, arm wrapped around you with the other wiping the tears off of your face.

after you explain the situation a bit more clearly, he becomes even more angry (probably mutters some curses under his breath)

but !!!! i think he’d really try his best to focus on cheering you up

asking you what you’d like to do for the rest of the night, if you’d like any food, if you’d like to sleep or stay up for a while.. etc.

plus he’d amp up the silly antics to make you forget about things !!

◈ HYUNJIN

i think his physical reaction would become similar to yours. very quickly.

like once he sees your tears and senses your quickened pulse. his immediate response (whether voluntary or not) would be to emulate you.

so, naturally, he’d hold you in his arms and let you cry it out, while small sobs of his own escape him.

seeing you so scared is a scary feeling.

of course, he’d reassure you that you’re safe !!! he’d look into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ears, and tell you that it’s all over now and that you’re safe.

you, of course, don’t want him to feel sad or scared, so you’d console him as well.

you two would comfort each other the whole rest of the night. i think the most probable option would be the two of you cuddled up in bed watching a movie or reading webtoons together

distraction !! but make it a drama !! or a romcom because .. vibes !!

and when you decide it’s time for bed (however late that may be due to the stress from earlier) he’d be sure to remind you that he’ll be with you all night & when you wake up

(but he’s also secretly clinging onto you out of fear as well kdjfgj)

◈ JISUNG

“oh sh- oh sHIT-”

wouldn’t know what in the fuck to do

would haphazardly check all the windows like minho did, holding your hand as you continue to cry

after he’s done, he’d cling to you and hold you SO very tight <3

lots of “shh shh baby.. baby shhhh” and all that jazz.. you know the sungie vibes…

he’d stroke your hair and arms, noticing your slight shakiness and suggesting you both cuddle for some extra comfort and warmth

no matter what time of night it is, he’d turn off the lights and cuddle with you as you describe the event in more detail

quiet & calm

even if you end up crying again while you speak, he’s there to brush the tears off your face with his thumb and help you calm down again

◈ FELIX

before you came, he might have cooked a small meal for the two of you to share. even though you worked late, it’d still be waiting for you when you arrive. he’d wait too.

when you do happen to burst through the door, he’d jump and gasp out of fear but he’s quick to run up to you and hold you as you let out everything you’d held in during your walk-turned-chase

also !! will help you get settled in as you describe what went down

helping you take off your coat and shoes, getting water for you, grabbing some blankets; all while listening intently and giving you all of his attention

once you’re seated on the couch, wrapped in the softest blanket he could find and staying hydrated after such a harrowing event, he’d be sure to hold you as close as possible to remind you that everything’s okay

eventually, through his subtle gestures and calming demeanor, you won’t even realize how you got situated !! he just knows what to do to make you as comfortable as possible without even trying all that hard

you may choose to skip dinner, but no matter what, he’ll be holding you close the whole night through to make sure you know he’s there to protect and care for you

◈ SEUNGMIN

he’s very methodical about how to proceed. his first instinct is to do what some of the others would and check the house, but he decides to help you calm down first.

you’re rambling about what happened in between sobs and quick breaths, which sends a pain through his heart as he shuts and locks the door.

if you’re shorter than him, he’d bend a little to make direct eye contact with you. he’ll rub your arms and tell you that you don’t have to be afraid anymore

the most calming and reassuring voice in the whole world omg !!!!!!

he’d wipe your tears away and cup your face with both of his hands, prompting you to look back into his eyes before smiling at you

“you’re safe now, right?”

you smile back at him, nodding.

“now, let’s lock all the doors so no bad guys can get in!”

then, he’d take your hand and let you help him lock the doors and shut the curtains, making it feel like a chore instead of a precaution

and for your “good work”, he’d reward you with some binge watching & cuddle time !!! (as if that wasn’t the original plan skjdfg)

◈ JEONGIN

(under his breath, eyes wide) “oh my god…”

i think he’d start freaking out a bit like hyunjin did, but he’d do his very best to hide it. he knows he has to be strong to help you calm down and feel safe.

like felix, he’d help you take off your coat and shoes, leading you over to the couch as you shakily describe what happened.

(i’m sorry i keep making comparisons to the other members bUT) like minho, he’d hold your hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumbs to soothe your nerves as you let everything out

he’d try to cheer you up by suggesting alternative motives the man might’ve had instead of wanting to harm you

for instance:

jeongin: “what if he was lost and needed directions but he was too shy to ask because you’re so pretty/handsome?”

you: “babe i don’t think-”

jeongin: “OR what if he thought he knew you !!”

you: “but he-”

jeongin: “WHAT IF IT WAS BATMAN-”

overall, his aim is to distract you (as well as himself), which ends in success. you’ll both be in stitches by the end of the night

and… laughing is super tiring, right?

therefore, as reiterated throughout all of these reactions because we all know it’s true:

CUDDLESSSS

oh also.. right before you fall asleep in his arms, he’d ask if you want to leave the light on during the night :( bc he’s a cutie :((((

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17​, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #straykidsland #*fics #*8 #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8

[astranva]

Not One of Them.

// masterlist //

Word Count: 9.9k

Category: Fluff, single mom!Y/N

Warning: Some strong language. Slight mention of abortion. Not proof-read.

Note: time-skip to when covid-19 is dead ok

Summary: Harry is lyrically stuck, Y/N is the new big songwriter. She’s also a single mom to a 4-year-old girl.

Early italics are flashbacks.

..

When you’re a young mother, the world isn’t always the kindest, especially when no partner is in the picture.

While you were young, having had baby Faith when you were only 21, you applauded yourself for years for the effort you poured into raising a child alone – with the help of family and friends, and too many books and videos, but you get the point.

Faith wasn’t a mistake, you hate it when anyone even dares to imply so, but she was unplanned. You were in a toxic on-and-off relationship for 3 years, at some point believing that it might have been an open relationship because of the amount of times you caught your ex-boyfriend flirting with women and men right in front of you.

You had done your part after knowing that you were pregnant after one drunken night that led to a rough make-up session. You approached your ex, sat him down and broke the news;

“I’m pregnant.”

“Whose is it?” He had asked, face falling.

Yours scrunched up in anger, almost disgust at the implication. “Yours, you dumb-fuck! I don’t sleep around while I’m in a relationship like some people.” You had emphasized.

He ignored your comment, releasing a sigh. “You aren’t keeping it, are you?”

You were never against abortion. You were never against planned pregnancy. You had freaked out alright on your own when you were confirmed pregnant, but something inside you told you to hold on to the human inside of you, to that little bundle of oblivion – a little bundle of faith.

It was when he asked you that one question, his tone almost sure that you would abort the child, that you felt angry tears pool your eyes. “I am.”

He wasn’t ready to hear it and his wide eyes showed that, “Wh-What do you mean you are? I can’t have a fucking baby! This wasn’t supposed to get this real!”

“This real?” You had chuckled bitterly, “You stay with me for 3 years, fuck me over more than I can count then you always come crying for me, then tell me it wasn’t supposed to get this real?” You stood up, draping your bag over your shoulder, “I’m having the kid, Will. It’s over between us and-“ you gulped, swallowing back the tears as you pointed at him, “I never want to see you again.”

“You bet your fucking ass you won’t.” He had grumbled, tearing eye contact to look somewhere else but your death glare before you left.

 Besides the university halls, Will had managed to stay out of your sight and you were grateful for that. Pregnancy was a roller-coaster, one you definitely screamed during all ride of, but nothing and nobody prepared you for the moment when you gave birth to your little love.

Your roommate and best friend, Cece, had driven you to the hospital and notified the rest of your family and friends, and you were glad that during that very period of time, you had someone beside you.

It was when you held your little love that it all faded away; the pain, the loss, the confusion, the fright – everything faded away the moment your skin made contact with your daughter’s, watching her with pure love and admiration.

You hadn’t picked a name before that moment, only nodding and smiling to the showering of recommendation from people, but one name wasn’t recommended, not even mentioned.

“Faith. You’re my little Faith.”

“You’re looking a little sick, honey. Have you been eating well? You overwork yourself-”

“Mom, mom,” you laughed quietly, tearing your eyes from watching your daughter play with her cousins before looking at your mom beside you, “I’m alright. Last project was challenging, that’s all.”

“Who were you writing for this time?” your mom asked with pride and excitement, curious to know the name of yet another big celebrity her daughter had been working with.

“Adele.” You smirked as you sipped your juice, hearing your mom gasp with a hand to her heart before letting out a small squeal.

In her dungarees and sandals, Faith ran towards you, making you set your juice aside to welcome your daughter in your arms. “Mommy, did you see me win Tag?”

“Yes! You were amazing!” You hyped your daughter up, pressing a sloppy kiss on her cheek, making Faith giggle.

With Faith standing between your legs, talking to her grandma, you checked your watch. “Ah, shoot. I better get going.”

“Will you be here for bedtime story?” Faith asked, looking up at you as you slung on your tote bag and held your car key in one hand before kneeling in front of your daughter.

“I will be, baby. Don’t give Nana a hard time, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“I love you.” With one last hug and a kiss on her cheek, you smiled at your daughter who clung to your neck, pressing a sweet kiss on her cheek.

“I love you.” Faith replied, moving to stand with her nephew after waving at you as you left.

“Call me at any time if anything happens or if you need anything, Mom, yeah?” You said as you walked towards the door, your mother following behind.

“Wouldn’t want to disturb your wo-”

“Mom.” You stressed, turning to look at your mom, “Nothing like that. I’ll get going. Thank you for watching her.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. You know I love spending time with little Faith more than anything. Drive safely, honey.”

//

“Hey, Andrew, got you a donut.” You beamed as you approached the studio’s receptionist, a 19-year-old intern.

“You’re an angel.” Andrew sighed in contentment as he opened the box containing his donut before looking at you, “Just adopt me. I guarantee I’ll be the best brother to Faith.”

You laughed, “Think having a 19-year-old son will make me feel old. I’ll pass.”

“Dammit.” Andrew shook his head jokingly. “Meeting with Jeffery Azoff, huh?”

“Yeah, do you know if he got here yet?”

“Like 3 minutes ago.”

You checked your watch again, finding that it was just on time for your scheduled meeting, feeling glad that you weren’t late.

“Alright, I’ll see you on the way out.” You waved at Andrew who nodded at you while raising his donut before you set off down the hall and into the elevator.

Walking out and down the hallway, you approached the room you had agreed to meet Jeffrey in before knocking softly, hearing a distant “come in!”

Gently opening the door and sticking your head inside, your eyes moved to the couch where 2 men looked up at you; one was Jeffrey – you had seen pictures of him from when you worked once with his father – and the other was, undoubtedly in your mind, none other than Harry Styles.

“Y/N?” Jeff asked, him and Harry standing as you walked in and closed the door behind you, approaching them.

“Yes,” you smiled, reaching for a handshake which he had happily accepted, “It’s great meeting you.”

Harry’s eyes were set on you, a small smile on his face that did everything but mirror the surprise he felt. He wasn’t sure why; he didn’t have any expectations but he certainly didn’t expect to see someone as radiant as you were.

You looked at him next with a polite smile as you reached for a handshake, “Pleasure meeting you. I’m a huge fan of your work.”

And God, his stomach flipped and his face flushed at the comment, feeling shy under your gaze as he shook your hand, “Thank you so much. Can say the same about your work, you’re very talented.”

“Thanks!” You beamed before motioning towards the couch, the 3 of you sitting down; Harry and Jeff on the couch, you on a chair across from them. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, thanks. Had the biggest cup of coffee just before coming here.” Jeff replied.

You turned to look at Harry, smiling and nodding when he raised his bottle of water.

“Alright, let’s get into it,” you leaned forward, “How can I help you?”

Jeff looked at Harry, signaling for him to talk.

“I know it hasn’t been a year since I released Fine Line,” Harry moved his hands as he talked, looking at the carpeted floor underneath him before looking up at you, “But I’ve been writing ever since but- something is missing. Something is wrong. I wrote 9 tracks so far, all of them are unfinished because I just feel like they’re missing something. I have the idea, have the concepts, sometimes I have the tunes,” he counted on his fingers, “But I can’t finish one song. It’s like I’m, like,” he shrugged, trying to find the right word.

“Stuck?” You suggested, staring at him with an assuring expression which he found soothing.

Harry’s body slumped, tilting his head slightly as he looked back at you and a soft, small smile made its way to his face at how you understood. “Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah, stuck. That’s the word.”

“I get you,” you assured him, “Do you guys have any sort of deadline?”

“No, not really, no. Not yet.” Jeff shook his head.

“Great,” you clapped, your eyebrows going up, “Do you have any of these tracks’ lyrics now?”

“Yeah, lemme just-“ Harry reached beside him, holding his tote bag to take out his journal.

“Hey!” You grinned, grabbing his attention and making him look at you, seeing you holding out your tote bag to him.

You matched; right on the fabric in the middle was an illustrated design of a small cactus plant pot.

“I have the same one!” You looked down at yours before looking at him, Harry mirroring your actions before a grin broke out on his face.

“Well then, Y/N, it’s set. These will be the best songwriting sessions of the century. It’s fate.” He said dramatically in a joking manner, making you laugh quietly as you set your bag aside and he fished out his journal.

Flipping through the pages, he handed you his journal so you can see one of the songs he had half-written, watching as leaned back on the comfy chair, holding the journal in your hands and reading.

It was excruciating. Harry grew nervous, feeling funny in his stomach and he tried to convince himself that it might be the salad he had eaten prior to that meeting, and not that he was nervous you’d think he was the worst songwriter to-date.

He watched your eyes, taking notice of how you didn’t skim through the words, but read them carefully and taking your time to do so.

“This is really beautiful, Harry.” You said softly, eyes still on the page before looking up at him, oblivious to the breath Harry let out, “Really beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, discreetly wiping his sweaty hands on his pants.

“Not much damage really. The concept is clear. Post-breakup song.” You said, handing him his journal.

Harry nodded, confirming.

“Are the rest like that, too?”

“Not really,” Harry shook his head, “Figured that the last album had too many of that.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I understand. Just- I say take your time, honestly. I’ll help you with the songs you have, maybe we’d get inspired along the way to write new stuff, too, but you don’t want to force anything, you know? Sometimes some lyrics just aren’t meant to be, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded.

“Don’t you worry,” you gave him a smile, “It’ll all work out.”

“Well, so do we have a deal?” Jeff asked with a smile, opening his arms.

“I’m in.”

Maybe it was because you said that as you looked at him, or maybe it was because he knew of how crazy talented you were – he had spoken to his good friend Ed Sheeran a week prior and Ed had sworn up and down on your talent and how “bloody lovely! Like a little bird” you were – or maybe it your smile – hell, it might be a combination of all that, but Harry was ecstatic to work with you.

“I’m very excited to work with you, Y/N.” Harry had said with a smile of his own.

“Likewise, Harry. It isn’t that common to find artists as real as you are.”

God, what was with your compliments that had him blushing?

“It’s a pleasure, Y/N,” Jeff, too, had said. “Let’s talk busi-”

“Let’s do that over lunch.” You pointed at him, standing up, “My treat.”

“You always this friendly with clients?” Harry joked with an amused smile, staring up at you.

But your smile dropped and instead, your face twisted to worry. “Oh God, I hope I’m not stepping boundaries. It’s just always a good idea to warm up to each other and- I’m sorry, you probably think this is unpro-”

“Hey, hey, no,” Harry was quick to stand, holding his hands out, “I didn’t mean it like that. I genuinely think you’re friendly. Half of the songwriters I worked with were strict and- Shit, no. Lunch sounds wonderful. Really wonderful.”

He felt like an ass. A proper one. He hadn’t meant to make you feel like you were too friendly but that didn’t turn out as well as he had thought.

“We’d love to, really. Besides, it’s probably a great idea that you and Harry know each other so the sessions can go smooth.” Jeff added, standing up.

At this, Harry found himself smiling when the smile returned to your face. “In that case, there’s a place nearby that makes amazing sandwiches and desserts.”

Jeff’s mind was squeaking from its gears working. There weren’t many people on this planet who were purely kind, and it was something he admired in Harry. But at that moment, Jeff knew he had met one more person who was genuinely kind, just like his best friend and “client” – he hated calling Harry that – and it was proof when you insisted that you could give them a ride to and from the place instead of them following behind you or using the GPS, Jeff sitting in the passenger seat during the ride to the place while Harry sat at the back.

The place was a 5-tabeled one, nothing big. One wall was decorated with polaroids of customers, the waiters and waitresses, the chefs, and another with colorful stick-notes with messages from customers. It was a lowkey place, one that Harry hadn’t visited during all his trips to the studio until that moment.

“Hey, Y/N!” The woman behind the counter beamed as she waved.

“Hi, Soph! How are you?”

Soph stood from the chair she was sitting on, taking a few steps back to show her pregnant bump, putting one hand to it, “Ready to pop!”

You had motioned towards a table to Harry and Jeff who were quietly watching the interaction.

You gasped, “Look at you! And you’re still coming to work? What a queen.”

Soph shrugged, sitting back down, “Got mouths to feed and a self to pamper.” She said before waving at Harry and Jeff, “Hello, gentlemen.”

Jeff waved with a smile while Harry added, “Hello! Congratulations on your pregnancy.”

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles.” Soph replied.

Harry liked it. The no-freaking-out. How homey it all felt.

“Rick will be with you in a sec.” Soph said.

You, Harry, and Jeff sat on the circular table, both Harry and you hanging your tote bags on their chairs.

“You come here often, huh?” Harry started the conversation, crossing his arms on the table and leaning forward.

“You have no idea. You’d think I don’t know anywhere else.” You chuckled, “Been coming here ever since I was in college.”

Harry’s eyebrows went up in surprise, “Really? How long ago was that?”

“Graduated 3 years ago, first came when I was 19 so that’s about 6 years.”

“True loyal customer you are.” Harry said.

“What did you study, Y/N?” Jeff asked.

“Music composition. Was the disgrace of the family.” You joked, “Definitely had no idea the entire time if I would actually work or not.”

“But look at you now, one of the best.” Harry motioned towards you.

You waved him off with a bashful smile, “None of that. I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, I just get paid now.”

“Who even knows what they’re doing now?” Harry rhetorically asked, “We’re just, going with the flow.”

“Word, sir. Word.” They heard, the 3 of them turning to see the waiter – Rick – by their table.

Harry laughed, “Right?”

“Absolutely. I don’t remember the last time my plans didn’t get fucked. Just riding now.” Rick shrugged.

Harry raised his fist up for a bump, Rick bumping his fist into Harry’s.

Time seemed to pass as Harry and Jeff let you order for them, talking about the music industry and sharing funny stories while at it, as well as you had discussed your own business as you ate the club sandwiches and sipped on the iced tea.

“What are you doing?” You asked with a funny face as Harry took out his wallet after you had asked for the check.

“Paying?”

“Yeah, no. Said it’d be my treat.” You pointed at him, raising one eyebrow with a smile.

“Come on, I can’t just let you pay for us on the first day we meet.”

“Let’s at least split the bill.” Jeff suggested, watching as you shook your head.

“Absolutely not.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards Soph, paying for the food.

“How much do you want to bet that something will happen between the both of you?” Jeff asked quickly with a smirk, looking at Harry with a knowing look.

Harry’s eyes widened, tearing his gaze from being on you to his friend and manager, “What?”

“How much?”

“I just met her.” Harry tried to reason with him, finding Jeff to be bizarre and irrational. Hopeful, but irrational.

Jeff only gave him a shrug, “That’s a first.”

“That’s enough rom-coms at night for you, Jeffrey.”

At the sight of you walking back towards them, they both stopped talking and instead, smiled. “All sorted.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. You really didn’t have to.” Harry stood, slinging his tote bag on his shoulder.

“I wanted to. Please don’t mention it.” You had smiled as you replied, the 3 of you putting back your chairs. “Bye, Soph!”

“Bye, sweetie!”

“Congratulations again on your pregnancy and good luck.” Harry put both hands together, pursing his lips into a polite smile at the woman behind the counter.

“You’re a sweetheart. Thank you, kind sir.” Soph joked, tipping an imaginary hat at him to which Harry responded to by holding up the tips of his imaginary skirt, putting one foot behind the other in a curtsy making you giggle.

With no spoken words, Jeff was quick to get into the backseat, pursing his lips to stifle his laughter at Harry’s face, who looked at him with wide eyes and an expression that screamed “What the fuck are you doing?” but he got into the passenger seat nonetheless, oblivious to the light shade of red that visited his cheeks but aware of the heat his face seemed to radiate.

The ride back to the studio wasn’t quiet. The radio was on for some background music but you and Harry were too engaged in a conversation to take notice of the songs playing. Anyone could have asked you what even started the conversation of French toast and you wouldn’t know how to reply because none of you knew how you suddenly began talking about French toast.

“Have you tried soaking the toast in lemon?” You asked, tone excited and face breaking into an eager smile.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Haven’t, no. How good is it?”

“God, it’s,” you shook your head, almost closing your eyes in delight as if you tasted the toast that moment but refrained because you were driving, “It’s so good.”

So what Harry secretly wished the ride was longer? He wanted to talk about French toast. That was definitely why.

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure working with you.” Jeff said, “Thank you for the food.”

“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him, turning around to look at him once you were parked.

“I’ll wait for you in the car.” Jeff said, patting Harry’s shoulder before getting out of the car.

Harry took a breath, slapping his hands against his thighs, “Well, that was fun.”

You nodded, looking back at him with a bashful smile that you mentally scolded yourself for; why were you getting bashful?

“Is it alright if I take your number from Jeff?” Harry asked quickly, “Uh, so we can schedule meeting up for the sessions.” He quickly added, “The writing sessions.” He nearly cringed at his addition and he guessed you caught on because you giggled quietly before straightening your posture.

“Actually, Jeff has my business number. Maybe you can just, take my personal one so I can reply faster. You know, the sooner the better.” You cleared your throat, nodding to yourself.

Harry’s lips stretched into a side smile as he looked at you before he coughed and nodded, “Definitely. The sooner you reply, the sooner we meet. For the writing sessions.”

“Yeah and I can give you the lemon toast recipe.” You said before your eyebrows rose up, “For business purposes, of course.”

Harry’s smile widened at that, holding out his phone for you to take after he unlocked it. “I’d love that.”

You typed in your number before handing his phone back to him, watching as Harry glanced down at it before your phone began ringing, “And that’s mine.” He said, watching you unlock you phone and type before you locked it back.

“Then it’s settled.”

“I’ll text you.” He smiled before opening the door and standing out, ducking to look at you, “Next time, lunch is on me.” And with that, Harry gave you a wave before closing the door and walking away, only giving you a smile over your shoulder and another wave before getting into the car with Jeff.

After getting some snacks from the grocery’s with a shit-eating grin on your face, you drove back to your mom’s to pick Faith up.

You stood on the other side of your car, watching the door open before you saw Faith, her backpack on her back with her grandma standing behind her.

At the sight of her Mommy, Faith was quick to grin before running to you and into you arms as if she hadn’t seen you 4 hours ago.

You hugged your daughter, pressing a kiss to her hair as you did. “Did you have fun?”

Faith nodded before she pulled away from the hug, still keeping her arms around you, “What about you? Did you have fun, Mommy?”

You almost blushed as you remembered, opting to reply a simple reply instead of getting into details. “I did. Ready to go?”

//

After giving Faith a shower and giving yourself one, too, you and Faith were sat in the comfort of your cozy apartment, sitting on the couch and watching The Greatest Showman for the umpteenth time seen as it was Faith’s favorite. With her cheddar cheese and lettuce sandwich in her right hand and favorite dinosaur toy in the other – a “Megalosaurus not a T-Rex, Mommy” – Faith was cuddling into your side while one hand of yours played with her wild hair as the other tapped absentmindedly on your phone’s screen, eyes set on the television.

“And if it’s crazy, live a little crazy.” Faith sang along with Hugh Jackman, eyes wide as if she was seeing the movie for the first time.

“You can play it sensible, a king of conventional.” You joined her, peppering kisses on her cheek causing her to squeal and giggle.

As Faith sang along with the song, you opened your phone’s camera before switching it to video, flipping the camera so that it was the front one. You started recording, the screen showing you your face as you smiled with pride, tilting it so Faith was shown as she sang, unaware of you recording.

Only 12 seconds into the video, a message pop-up had your eyes traveling to it, falling on a text preview from none other than the young man you were with that day – Harry.

‘Hey, Y/N. Sorry to bother but would you be able to send me that lemon toast recipe? Might treat myself to it tomorrow morning. Sorry for the bother. :) Harry’

After stopping the video and opening the text and reading it, if it weren’t for Faith, you wouldn’t have known that you had a grin on your face.

“Why are you smiling so big? Did Auntie Cece send a picture of her cat?” She had asked, looking up at you with curiosity.

Looking down at her, you laughed slightly at yourself. “No, she didn’t.”

“You look happy.”

There were many things you loved about your daughter, many things you were in awe at. As only a kid, Faith was one of the most empathetic people in your life and that moment as you both cuddled on the couch was proof.

With a matching grin, Faith’s eyes twinkled with glee at the sight of her smiling mom, curious to know the reason.

“They aren’t singing This Is Me yet!” Faith added, knowing that the both of you usually laughed and giggled while singing that song, only because you always sang it so dramatically and at the top of your lungs.

“Just happy you’re finally done with the sandwich because now I can do this!” And with that, you tickled her, Faith breaking into laughter and giggles as she tried to stop you.

5 minutes later, Faith was back to watching the movie while you typed a reply.

‘hey, harry! it isn’t a bother 😊 i’ll write it down and send it in a moment :))’

‘Thank you! x’

And you wrote it down and sent it to him, adding little notes, too just to make sure that he perfected the toast.

‘let me know how that goes for you :) x’

‘Will do, love. Talk to you soon. Goodnight :) x’

‘goodnight, harry x’

As if your little love took that as a sign, you looked down at her as you felt her body grow heavier against you and noticed her breath get steady, seeing her eyes closed as she snoozed.

Carefully, you turned off the television before holding her with your arm so she didn’t fall down as you stood, bending to carry her before kneeling a little to grab her fallen dinosaur, letting out a tiny groan as your back ached.

Tucking her in her bed, you sat beside her for a moment, brushing her hair back softly before bending to kiss her forehead.

“Story?” She sleepily asked, struggling to open her eyes.

You chuckled, “You’re already asleep, nugget.”

She hummed, still struggling to open her eyes, “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled before standing up, walking towards her small vanity and turning on her star light lamp.

Just as you were out of the door, you lingered, turning to look back at your daughter, “Was I really smiling big?”

In her sleepy state, Faith managed to reply. “Very big, Mommy.”

You chuckled to yourself and shook your head before walking out and towards your own room.

//

Harry felt like a kid. He was too excited that morning to get up and get on with his breakfast, wanting to deny that it wasn’t because he wanted a reason to text you, but who was he trying to lie to? No one, he was alone.

He followed the recipe, chuckling and laughing to himself during some moments when he was about to fall for some mistakes before reading your notes and saving his toasts, as if you were sitting right there and monitoring him.

His playlist was playing from his phone that he held in his hand, and he was humming along as he placed the two toasts on a plate before adding some powdered sugar to them and grabbing his juice.

Before eating, Harry had taken his time in taking a picture of his breakfast, thankful for the natural light his kitchen window was giving for his little photoshoot.

He was just as much nervous as excited as he sliced up a piece before taking a bite, taking his time to taste his work and his eyebrows shot up and he blinked twice in surprise.

It was so good.

While eating another slice, Harry held his phone and opened his messages app, going to your contact.

Attaching the best picture from his breakfast photoshoot, he added a text with it,

‘Tastes incredible! Would have burned it to coal if it weren’t for your notes hahah x’

And he put his phone back on the table, open at your messages as he continued eating while listening to music.

He was mid-sip of his juice when you replied and Harry hated how excited he got because the next thing he knew, he was having a coughing fit that had him go tearful before finally calming down.

‘looks incredible, too! oh trust me, i know. burned a fair amount of toasts on my own so i decided to spare you the damage. you’re a quick learner :)) x’

That morning, you and Harry exchanged multiple texts, drifting from his breakfast to how you both wished to have dogs.

It was around 4 when you were driving back with Faith from her gymnastics practice when Harry called, thankfully just as you were unlocking the door to your apartment.

“Hey.” You smiled to yourself as you answered, taking off your shoes by the door beside Faith’s before closing the door behind you, watching as Faith went to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“Hi,” Harry, too, was smiling to himself as he held the phone close to his ear, “I was walking around and I found this tiny restaurant that reminded me of where you took us yesterday and, apparently they make the best Italian pizza. Was wondering if you wanted to grab pizza with me and we can talk about, you know,” he chuckled, “The sessions.”

You thought, mind instantly going to who would watch Faith as you went before your eyes fell on your daughter who came back, whispering to you if she should wait for you in the bathroom seen as you were on the phone.

“One second,” you said to Harry before moving the phone from your ear and muting the sound, “Yeah, baby, do that. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

You unmuted, “Hey, sorry about that.”

“No worries.”

He was growing nervous at how you were yet to reply to his suggestion, having already had been nervous enough to suggest and call in the first place.

“Pizza and talking sound lovely.”

He released a breath, smiling to himself. “Great, great! Pick you up at 6?”

“Sure, yeah. 6 is great. I’ll go now. See you soon, Harry.”

“See you soon, Y/N.”

You didn’t trust strangers to watch your daughter, didn’t exactly trust strangers in your house unattended, too. It’s why at times when you couldn’t drive the 40-minute drive to your mom’s, your best friend, Cece, was always your go-to and that was especially nice because she also lived two buildings away.

Cece’s job was one from her home, making food and delivering it to people while she managed her business on her own through social media and it was why most of the time, she was home and always happy to have her goddaughter keep her company.

After calling Cece to make sure she was okay with babysitting Faith for some time and her assuring you that she was, you prepared dinner for your daughter after giving her a shower.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving, baby?” You asked as you sat with Faith while she ate the pasta you made her.

It wasn’t frequent of you to leave Faith for anything but work. Maybe for a night out with some friends every now and then but you always went out with them for 3 hours tops before you began feeling guilty for leaving your daughter and going back to get her so you can spend time together instead.

And it wasn’t like you were frequently going on dates either. Cece had pushed you into it when Faith was 2, and you did go out a few times with different people, all whom you never heard of whenever they knew that you had a daughter and then you decided that maybe the single mom life was just too welcoming of you.

Hell, you didn’t know whether you should call having pizza with Harry a date. It wasn’t, was it? Not that you’d mind but it was for business, wasn’t it? Strictly business. Or maybe it wasn’t and that was fine by you- and now you were beginning to feel like a teenager again. Great.

“Mommy,” Your 4-year-old huffed, rolling her eyes, “I’m a big girl. You should have more fun.”

You couldn’t believe that you were getting advice from a 4-year-old, especially your daughter, but you deserved that.

“When did you get so big?” You rhetorically asked, “Thank you for being understanding, Nugget.”

Faith smiled at you, kicking her legs as she ate. “Where are you going?”

Now that question you weren’t prepared for, as much as you thought about it.

You couldn’t risk telling too much to Faith, knowing that she got excited over new people and couldn’t risk disappointing her if Harry ended up being, well, not one to stick or friendly to kids of single moms.

But at the same time, your daughter was your best friend. It was because of your honesty with her and how you acknowledge her and treat her that she was an understanding and empathetic person who could hold a conversation.

“Well, you know Harry Styles? The man who sings Canyon Moon?” You asked, knowing that that song was on her top favorite songs list after she had heard it once on the radio as you were driving her to her practice.

She nodded, “The pretty man with drawings?”

She had been curious to see the face behind her favorite song and once you showed her a picture, her smile got big and she had said that he was “very pretty” and had “nice drawings that she wanted to color in” meaning his tattoos.

You chuckled, “Yes, that one.” Again, Faith nodded. “Well, I’m helping him with his songs and I’m going to have dinner with him tonight.” You said, crossing your arms on the table.

Faith dropped her fork, looking at you with wide eyes and an open mouth, causing you to laugh heartfully at your daughter. “Mommy, really?!”

You nodded, opening your phone’s camera to record her, Faith not caring.

“Mommy you’re meeting Harry Styles!”

“I am,” you laughed, “Are you happy?”

“Very happy I’m going to cry!” She gasped, “Can I see him? Please, Mommy, please!”

“I don’t know, Nugget. I might have to ask him.”

“Do you think he’ll say no?” She frowned, “I can wear my Harry dress!”

And by her Harry dress, she meant the Fine Line black tee you had bought her, and even though it was sized small, she was only a toddler so you had resulted for her to wear it as a dress after you had trimmed it and its sleeves and had your mom fit it as tight as she could without damaging it. Needless to say, whenever your daughter wore the oversized tee dress, you had to snap multiple pictures of her because she always looked too adorable and fashionable in it.

“I don’t know what he’ll say but I’ll ask him. And yes, you can. You always look adorable in it.” You smiled, still recording her.

“Can you tell him I love his songs? I love Canyon Moon so much an-Oh! And Sunflower, too!” She grinned, “Are you going to show him this video?” Faith asked as she looked at you.

You shrugged, “You want me to?”

She nodded excitedly before looking at the camera, “Mr. Harry, I love you very much, sir. I hope I can see you but Mommy said she’ll ask you so please say yes. Make Mommy happy, not sad. Goodnight, sir.”

Your heart might have as well exploded that moment as she waved before you ended the video.

As if he was waiting for you to finish, your phone began ringing the moment you stopped recording, finding Harry calling you which made you instantly pick up the moment Faith began eating again.

“Hey, do you like strawberries?” He asked, the moment you picked up.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a silly smile took over your face nonetheless, “Uh, yes?”

“Alright, great. I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

//

To make matters easier, once Harry had texted you that he was 2 minutes away, you grabbed your bag and left your apartment and into the elevator before walking outside your building, just in time to see a yellow Ferrari Dino pull up.

You smiled at him, watching as he parked before getting out, “Did I keep you waiting for long?” He asked as he approached you.

“No, just came down.” You answered, watching as he reluctantly slightly opened his arms. He was a hugger.

You wrapped your arms around him in a greeting hug, taking notice of how good he smelled. Just as good as he looked; he was in off-white textured knit Wales Bonner polo, paired with his Gucci flared denim pants and off-white Converse. Nobody should be allowed to look that good in casual clothes.

It wasn’t like Harry’s mind wasn’t doing flips at that moment, too. Instead of smelling like overpriced perfume, you smelled like coconut and roses; a refreshing smell that made Harry’s smile deepen enough for his dimple to make appearance. You, too, were in casual clothes; violet colored cropped culottes, a white tee tucked inside, white sneakers on, a black and white cross-bag and your hair was up in a messy ponytail that was kept by a hairband but you wrapped a black and white head bandana around the band just for the looks.

You looked effortlessly beautiful.

You both walked to his car, Harry opening the door for you before grabbing something from the passenger seat before you sat – a bouquet of strawberries.

“Didn’t know what type of flowers you like so,” he said before extending the bouquet towards you with sweetest and giddiest smile, “Hope that’s okay.”

You almost melted, your face changing to a pout as your head tilted to look at him while you accepted the bouquet, “This is so nice of you. Thank you, I love it.”

Alright so you don’t get strawberry bouquets to people you aren’t going on dates with, right?

The ride to the little pizzeria was nice – comfortably nice. You had shared the strawberries there and your stomach did a thousand flips when you offered Harry one only to have him open his mouth,

“I’m driving.”

And then he opened his mouth again, biting the strawberry you offered with your hand, laughing when it was about to drip on him if it weren’t for your fast reflexes – thank motherhood for that – as you held out your other hand beneath his chin.

By sharing strawberries, you mean you ate some as well as fed Harry some.

You both mentally took notice of how conversations flowed so effortlessly between you, as if you had met years ago and not just a day. Hell, even the texts were random and messy as well as entertaining and fun.

The drive wasn’t a long one, only about 20 minutes before Harry was parking in front of a place called ‘La Pizza’.

You both went outside the car, you waiting for Harry by your side as he walked towards you.

You might as well have melted right there and then when you felt Harry’s hand, very gently, on your back. It was very gentle, you almost didn’t notice and you felt that he was just making sure that he wasn’t making you uncomfortable but it was a reflex action of his. Nonetheless, you appreciated the concern and decided to show him that it was okay to touch you when you touched his arm as you both walked through the door.

Harry gulped, feeling hot as you touched him and he almost scolded himself because it only lasted for a second, yet there he was, getting flustered already. What the fuck was going on with him?

A waitress greeted the both of you, smiling widely as she motioned for you to follow her inside the place.

“There are more tables on the roof, would you want to check that?”

Harry looked at you the same moment you did at him, both of you nodding to each other to say that you wouldn’t mind.

“That would be great, thank you.” Harry said, smiling politely at the waitress who nodded and walked in front of you with the both of you following her up the stairs, Harry’s hand now more comfortably on your back as he walked behind you.

The roof was beautiful; cliché but beautiful fairy lights of small globe bulbs hung above the place, only 3 tables there, each at a good amount of distance from each other.

“Would you want to sit here or downstairs?”

Harry looked at you, you giving him a nod. “Here would be fine.”

The waitress nodded before guiding you towards a 2-chaired table. Harry had sat you down first before moving to his chair.

“Thank you.” You both said in unison as the waiter placed 2 menus in front of the both of you.

“I’ll be back to take your orders.” She smiled before leaving.

“Looks good.” You smiled at him before looking down at the menu.

“Didn’t know they had a roof.” Harry said, “This saved me.” He chuckled.

You looked up with confusion, “Saved you from what?”

Harry shrugged, now growing nervous. “Uh, wasn’t sure if taking you out for the first time here was chivalrous enough because it felt too casual, like a friends thing and not a date but now here seems right.”

He wished the ground he was on would split and swallow him whole. Wished to crawl up a hole and cry.

There were things he was practicing on on the way to you; like how he would hide that he was a nervous wreck, how he was excited to spend time with you, how he knew almost every single song you worked on, and finally, how he wouldn’t spill that he thought that was a date, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

You were amused. Contrary to how Harry truly felt, you thought it was nice that he was straightforward.

“Figured this wasn’t too casual the moment you gave me the strawberry bouquet, Harry.” You smiled, assuring him that you were okay with this being a date.

Looks like it wasn’t business after all.

Harry chuckled, raising an eyebrow, “That was nice, wasn’t it?”

You laughed, “Yes. Don’t think I was ever given a bouquet of fruit so yeah. Really nice.”

You both went through the menu, commenting on some plates and ingredients as you did and contemplating together.

“Maybe we should just get two pizzas and share, so we can try more than one option.” You suggested.

“Good idea.” He agreed, “What do you think of Quattro Formaggi?”

“Ooo, yes.” You then pointed on another topping, “Pizza Melanzane?”

“Yes.” Harry closed his menu with a nod.

Shortly after, your waitress came back and took your order before leaving.

“Finished a song yesterday.”

Your eyes widened as you took a sip of water before putting the glass back down, “Really?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah. A new one.”

“You mean you wrote a new one? Not finished writing one you already had?”

Again, he nodded, putting his arms on the table. “New. Very much new.”

You grinned at him, “That’s amazing. What is it about?”

Alright maybe he didn’t think that one through. He did write a song the previous night and he was proud of it and his gut did tell him that it would make it to the list of his next album, but telling you about it on your first – and he hoped it wasn’t the last – date? Well, not so ideal.

“It’s about opening up to someone new. Trying love again and unraveling yourself to the other person.”

Maybe it was because of your situation, but your breath hitched in your throat.

“You know when you get fucked from an ex and love as whole and you think that you don’t want to go through that again and you, like, close off,” Harry explained, “And it’s like you’re immune to feeling any sort of love or interest in anyone after that. Sure, maybe some sexual attraction here and there, but never something wholesome, you know?” He motioned with one of his rings clad hands as he talked, “But then you meet someone and you feel like a teenager or something,” he chuckled, “And it’s a nice feeling, it’s wonderful, that you start thinking that, hey,” he tilted his head, “Maybe I can do this again.”

You were speechless.

You were a woman of words, hell, you worked with words, but right then, you barely remembered the alphabets.

“You- You get me, right?” Harry asked.

You broke out of your trance, nodding absentmindedly, “Yeah, yeah, I,” you paused, an airy chuckle leaving your throat, “Man do I get you.”

He smiled in amusement, “Relatable?”

“Too much, you had me by surprise.” You answered honestly, releasing a breath.

It wasn’t a surprise to Harry that somebody broke your heart; it was always the good ones who got their hearts broken and got fucked over, always the givers.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of shock at who would possibly have you at arm’s length, with the ability to kiss and cuddle you, and decide to break your heart?

See, maybe Harry had just met you but you know when you meet someone good. Someone kind. Especially when you’re in an industry that is full of shitty people and too many cold snobs.

“When was it?”

You understood his question, understanding that he meant to ask you about when your heart got broken – when somebody fucked you over.

“5 years ago.” You answered, “You?”

“2.”

“Cheers.” You joked, raising your glass of water to clink it to his, chuckling when he did clink them.

“5 years is a long time.” He commented, gentle with his tone as were his eyes.

“It is,” you agreed, “Got over him, really.”

“You met someone after?”

His question made you think again of your answer, causing you to giggle before correcting yourself, “Got over him as a person but not over the whole thing.”

Harry chuckled, “So no.”

You shook your head, “No. Didn’t have the heart to.” And even though your sentence carried double meanings, you took a mental note of that same sentence just for future songwriting sessions. “What about you? Met anyone after it?”

“Not really,” he shook his head, “Friends set me up with some people but it never went further than a day.”

“You don’t click?”

“No,” Harry answered before a small smile made its way to his face, “I didn’t.”

Your face grew hot, breaking eye contact to glance beside you for a moment.

“How long did it take to write that song yesterday?” You asked, turning back to look at him, growing more flustered to see that he was already looking at you with the same smile.

“Think 25 minutes.”

Your eyes widened, “Inspiration really did hit you, Harry, huh?”

“Grabbed the journal and guitar and I just ran to the studio at home, and it just,” he shrugged, “Happened.”

“Let it keep hitting you like that and we won’t be working together.” You said with a smirk.

“Then I’ll purposely distract myself whenever it hits me so I can see you.” Harry was quick to reply, a smug smile of his own on his face.

“Oh my God.” You whispered under your breath, shaking your head as you covered your face, hearing Harry laugh before feeling his hands on yours, guiding them down.

Shortly after, your waitress was back with your orders; both pizzas looking mouthwatering.

You and Harry decided against utensils, exchanging slices with your hands and granted, as Harry had said, they did make the best Italian pizza.

//

After the pizza and paying, you and Harry had grabbed ice cream from the parlor right next to the pizzeria before sitting in the car, remaining parked as you laughed about everything and anything.

“And I had no idea that Paul McCartney was right behind me the entire time. It was awful!” You finished, laughing more at how hard Harry was laughing at your story.

“Would’ve changed my name and moved out of this planet if I were you.” He teased you as he regained his breath.

“Oh, shut up!” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him.

Harry laughed, reaching out to place a hand on yours, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Embarrassing shit happens to me everyday, too. On stage is the worst.”

You tried to ignore the tingly feeling that rushed within you at his hand over yours, but good heavens, you were a goner. “The falls?”

“At some point I thought it was good my tour got postponed because I see myself falling during most of the songs. Imagine Watermelon Sugar, I’d be a clown.”

You laughed, “Probably so,” you teased him, batting your eyelashes jokingly when he feigned shock, “But really, you’re an amazing performer. I actually have been to one of your shows once.”

Harry’s eyes widened and as did his smile, “No way.”

You nodded, “The one in Glasgow in November.”  

“You’re telling me that we were in the same room and-“ Harry paused, shaking his heads as he let out a chuckle of disbelief, “Wow. Alright. Did you have anyone with you?”

“Was just me and Faith.” You answered nonchalantly, only realizing once you did before your looked intently at Harry.

“Is that a best friend?” He asked, “Did they enjoy the show?”

“She did, yeah. Very actually,” You chuckled, remember how surprised you were at how 2-year-old Faith at the time was actually very interested and was dancing in your arms the entire time. “And she is my best friend at some point but she’s my daughter.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting but you definitely weren’t expecting Harry to grin excitedly.

“You have a daughter?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded, a small smile on your face as you inspected him, “I do. She turns 5 in December.”

Harry only seemed to get more excited at the news, which made your heart flutter at the sight of.

“Do you have a picture?”

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled more then, eager to show him your beautiful girl before unlocking your phone and opening your photos album, only to find the most recent addition to it – the video. “Hey, actually, she wanted me to show you something.”

You gave Harry the phone to watch better, most of the time keeping your eyes on him. Harry’s cheeks sported a shade of red at how highly your daughter spoke of him, laughing and giggling to himself as he watched.

“Nooo, I won’t say no. I’d love to meet her.” He cooed, continuing to watch.

As the video ended, Harry handed you back the phone, “Please let me meet her. And what’s that Harry dress?”

And so you told him about your adventure with the tee, to which his heart seemed to grow a thousand times more at.

“I wasn’t aware kids loved me, I’m sorry you couldn’t find her size.” Harry frowned, feeling genuinely bad.

“Hey, no,” you assured him, putting your other hand on his – that was still resting on yours – “Don’t worry about it. You don’t exactly sing the alphabetics, Mr. sex-inspired-my-last-album-and-I-made-it-on-shrooms.”

Harry giggled, shrugging at you.

You both talked some more, only about Faith. Harry’s eyes were wide with admiration when you told him about how you raised her alone – also assured when he realized that the father wasn’t exactly in the picture even though his heart broke at that – and he showered you with compliments of how brave you were to raise a kid alone.

“Think I should head back now. I still need to pick Faye up from my best friend’s.” You said, leaning your head on the headrest as your body was turned towards Harry, his hand sandwiched between yours on your thigh.

“Can I help?” He asked, “Only if that’s okay. I don’t want to be crossing my limits.”

Your eyes searched his, growing emotional at the man in front of you. “Are you sure?”

Again with the double meanings.

That time, Harry noticed, his face softening as he looked back at you. Softly and ever-so-gently, he leaned to press a soft kiss on your cheek, “I’m sure.”

As he drove, you and Harry held hands on your thigh, the both of you singing along to Fleetwood Mac on your way.

As you gave Harry directions, he was absentmindedly rubbing your hand with his thumb. If you would have told him that he was doing that, he would have denied it; not because he wanted to deny it, but because it felt too natural that he didn’t realize he was doing it.

“Right here.” You pointed at a building, “She’s two buildings away. You can go, it’s a short walk.”

“I’ll wait for you here.” Harry said, parking before turning to look at you.

“Harry, seriously, you can leave if you want. I’m right there.” You pointed at your building.

“Nonsense, love. I’ll wait here.”

You sighed in contentment, giving his hand a squeeze before getting out of the car and into the building.

“Why did you not tell me that you were on a date with Harry fucking Styles?” Cece whisper shouted as soon as she opened the door, “Knew from Faith, you shit.”

“Because you’d overr-“

“He could be the one!”

“-react. You’d overreact and plan our wedding.” You teased your best friend, “Where’s Faye?”

“Won’t you come in for a drink?” She asked before turning, “Faith, it’s your mom!”

“Can’t. Uh,” you cleared your throat, “Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Some- No fucking way!” She exclaimed, muttering a “sorry” when you hushed her, “He-Harry is downstairs? Are you shitting me?” Cece excitedly asked.

You couldn’t stifle the smile on your face as you nodded.

Cece was about to talk some more before Faith appeared beside her, her backpack hung on one shoulder as she rubbed her eyes.

You knelt down, hugging her. “Hey, Nugget. You sleepy?”

Faith only nodded, wrapping her arms around you as you carried her, feeling her rest her head on your shoulder and you instantly knew that she slept.

“I’ll text you, alright?” You whispered to Cece.

“You better.”

Carrying Faith as well as having her backpack in one hand, once Harry saw you, he was out of the car and rushing towards you, taking the bag from your hand.

“Thank you.” You smiled thankfully, noticing how he walked beside you and guided you to the car, opening the door for you and sleeping Faith before closing it as gently as he could.

The lack of backseats made Harry place the purple backpack on his lap as he drove towards your building, a seconds drive.

He stopped the car and was out of his seat the moment he parked, slinging the bag on his shoulder before helping you out, taking your bag for you, to which you quietly thanked him for.

“Um, you can place the bags on my shoulders or something.”

“I can help you upstairs, come on. It’s no problem.”

You knew he was set on it and you let him, mostly because of how surprised you were that there were people who didn’t cringe and run the moment they knew the other person had a kid.

Harry did all the work; opened the building’s door for you, pressed for the elevator, pressed your floor number and had even taken out your keys once you told him to to unlock the door.

“Come in, come in.” You whispered.

Unsure of what to do, Harry walked inside and mirrored your actions by taking off his shoes before lingering.

“You can follow me.” You whispered again, turning around for a moment to look at him with a smile.

A quick take of the apartment was what Harry could do as he followed you, feeling an emotion of comfort and coziness engulf him as he did.

You were never less thankful for yourself for every time you changed Faith into pajamas before taking her to Cece’s, because it only made the process of tucking her in easier.

Harry had helped you by moving the covers so you could place Faith in bed before he stepped back, letting you tuck her in.

He smiled, watching how you seemed to shift around her or even when you just talked about her, like she was the most important person in your life and he knew that she was exactly that.

Faith was beautiful, and more often than not, you were glad that she got most of your looks and not her biological father’s because it only meant that he really was out of your life.

Harry noticed it, too. She had your nose, your lips, your facial outline, and your hair color. And from what he had seen in the video from when Faith was awake, she had your eye color.

You placed a kiss to her forehead before turning around, your eyes falling on Harry whose eyes were set on Faith with a ghost of a smile on his face.

His eyes came up to you and you noticed that he was still holding on to Faith’s backpack and was wearing your crossbag across his own chest.

You smiled as you grabbed the backpack from him and putting it aside on the floor before looking at him.

The only light in the room was from the hallway, making the room dimmed and making the both of you in a much more sentimental moment.

“They usually run away when they find about Faith.” You whispered, stepping closer to him, “Now is your cue.”

Harry’s eyes were on yours until they glanced at your lips, and butterflies erupted in your stomach at that.

“Thank God I’m not one of them, then.” He replied gently in a low whisper before he leaned closer, shamelessly looking at your lips.

It was you who took the final step, closing the minimal space between you by placing your lips on his.

His hands went to your waist as yours went to his neck, feeling him kiss you back softly but eagerly before pulling away from less than a second to tilt his head, getting a better angle before his lips were back on yours.

“Mommy?”

Pt. 2 

#THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER WRITTEN #AAA WHAT DO YOU THINK #wellbeafinelime #Not One of Them #NOOT #harry styles imagine #Harry Styles #harry styles fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #fluff #fluff one shot #harry styles fluff imagine #harry styles fluff #single parent!reader #single parent reader

[crisis34]

So I’ve had this irondad idea that I would KILL for someone to write. I’ve wanted to write it too but I don’t think I’ll get to it.

I started kinda sorta actually writing this in a few scenes 😂 don’t mind my weird idea writing style. Feel free to change what you want or add your own twist on things!! And please tell me if you do write this idea. I’ve had it stuck in my mind and I wanted to make it at least 10k-30k words.

I sadly, don’t have time for that though haha! Soooo hopefully someone wants to write this so I can read it lol

———

The idea is that after Tony passes away the rest of the Avengers talk to Peter for about two years, since Peter spends time at the compound and all that.

But at a random point Peter notices he’s getting ignored by the Avengers for months, they won’t say anything on why they’re all stressed and won’t talk to Peter AT ALL.

One day one of them (most likely Sam/Rhodey) let’s it slip that they have an imposing threat on earth they’re trying to find and it’s so classified that Peter can’t get his hands on the information.

So Peters bummed they don’t trust him, probably gets a line said to him like “Look kid, we really don’t need your help on this. Trust me.” And it destroys Peters self esteem because he’s already 18 and they still see him as the kid.

He goes home one day after school/compound/work or something and when he walks in his spidey senses act up.

Looking into his apartment (moved away from aunt May assumingly) he sees nothing at first so he’s suspicious but not taking any drastic measures.

And then he walks into the living room, where he has a view of the kitchen. And who happens to be standing there eating the fucking blueberries?

Tony motherfucking Stark.

Peter flips out, because he saw Tony die. He’s rambling about how he thought he was dead and all that but then he sees something that tells him -it’s not his Tony-.

The Tony Stark eyes he always remembered were whiskey brown. This guy had glowing blue eyes.

And now Peter’s heart drops. He’s trying to get information out of the imposter and that’s when the guy finally speaks.

He tells Peter about how he’s been on this earth for a few months, the Avengers spotted him through satellite, and how he’s from an alternate reality.

Peter refers to the guy as Anthony since he isn’t his Tony Stark. But he also realizes this is what the Avengers were keeping from him.

Anthony explains how he was drawn here as first (which we later get a point of view from Anthony when he first got on this earth and he wasn’t drawn there, he was told to go there. By Tony Stark whispering in his head).

Anthony also tells Peter that there’s a bigger threat than him on their way, and the Avengers are so caught up looking for him they’re ignoring the other threat.

Peters skeptical, he really is. (If you do end up writing this please don’t make this another Quentin Beck. I don’t want Peter being too gullible or getting used by Anthony because that kinda ruins the plot/already been done in far from home)

Peter has close to no trust for Anthony, especially since he has no information at all from the Avengers. But he still partially believes the guy that there’s another threat.

And he knows he’d have a lot of guilt if he turned him in and there was a threat he could’ve stopped.

So him and Anthony team up.

They look for the bad guy, maybe go through goons/hydra agents for information. But now Peters stumped.

Because Anthony isn’t afraid to use a gun or kill. Anthony’s moral meter isn’t like Tony’s was, especially in front of the kid.

Peter scolds him, tells him that he won’t be killing around him or else he’s shutting the whole operation down.

After that Anthony only kills a few more times, and Peter tries to yell at him for those but he sees rage behind Anthony’s eyes.

Especially since the guys Anthony had killed almost hurt/killed Peter. Peter kept quiet for those deaths and they end up back at his apartment to sleep maybe.

Peters silent after he realizes that it seems Anthony cares about him. This is the night before they confront the big bad guy.

For reference they’ve been together looking for information for weeks!! Keep that in mind cause then you can add your own cute scenes in those weeks of maybe Anthony being protective or helping Peter with homework.

In the middle of the night Peters spidey senses go off, he wakes up and immediately looks for Anthony. He walks into the living area to see the guy peacefully sleeping on the couch.

His eyebrows scrunch together and he decides to go back to bed but can’t fall back asleep.

And then the Avengers break down the door of Peters apartment.

Peter freaks out l, hearing it and Sams familiar footsteps along with whoever else you want to be there. Rhodey would make the most sense with the rest of the Avengers waiting at the compound.

Peter runs back to the living room to where they’re already handcuffing Anthony and Anthony isn’t saying a word, but Peter is trying to convince them to stop and there’s a bigger threat out there they need to be after.

Rhodey or Sam would tell him sternly to get to the compound.

Apparently they had found out the two of them were working together while trying to find out where Anthony was after figuring out he was on this earth.

When he’s at the compound he finds out Anthony has been out in an interrogating place at the compound and each of the Avengers try to crack him but he won’t say a word.

Now(preferably Sam but you can have Peters main Friendship be with someone else, lol but this part of the friendship will be a bit rocky) Sam confronts Peter.

Goes something like this:

“Peter you knew better, why didn’t you contact an Avenger? Huh?”

“Because I knew you guys would do this shit Sam!! There’s a threat! I’ve seen it, we need to stop the threat.”

“Peter, there have been no signs of a threat against earth. At least nothing like he seems to be telling you. Because he won’t tell us anything. I need information on him! Because that damn well isn’t Tony Stark.”

“I know that, of course I fucking know that. You just.. you don’t know him Sam. I swear he’s a decent guy. Anthony is telling the truth.”

“No. He’s manipulating you, he knew you were an easy target and that’s why he went to you!”

Peter pauses for a second, tears catching up with his emotions as he begins to cry. “That’s what you think? That’s what you all think.. of course.”

Sam seems to realize he messed up, but he keeps his mouth shut and let’s Peter talk.

“You guys don’t trust me. I don’t even know why I hang around here, I’m obviously not welcome.” Peter laughs, pained.

“What? Of course we trust you.”

“That’s a god damn lie!! Because if you did this wouldn’t have happened.” Peter yelled.

Sam stays quiet again, remembering how he told Peter that he couldn’t tell him about the threat they were all worried about. Each of them didn’t trust that Peters reaction wouldn’t cause a hurricane of events, it seems it did anyway.

“Do you know.. how scared I was?” Peter whispered this time, wiping his tears away.

“What?”

“Do you know how fucking scared I was when Tony Stark ended up in my apartment! He died two years ago right in front of me and then there he was!! Eating blueberries in my kitchen with glowing blue eyes as if it never happened.” Peter said, watching as Sams face dropped.

Peter shakes his head and continues. “I’m going home, maybe think before you decide I’m to be untrusted next time.”

Sam doesn’t stop Peter because he’s already pissed the kid off.

Either way it was 2am and he assumed Peter wanted some sleep. The whole night Anthony doesn’t say a word.

The next morning the Avengers decide they need Peter to clarify what happened.

When one of them goes to Peter’s apartment, they can’t find him. At first they assumed he went somewhere but the tracker on his suit the compound has access to has been clipped. (If you can figure out a better way that they figure out Peter went after the threat on his own go for it).

After Sam figures out Peters gone he hurries into the cell that Anthony is in, guilt putting in his stomach because what if Peter was right and he was against a threat much larger than himself.

“Where is he?” Sam immediately asks after slamming the door shut behind himself.

Anthony stares at him, obviously planning on not saying anything.

“Where the fuck is Peter? C’mon asshole, you told him there was a threat and now I can’t fucking find him. Where is he?”

Sam watches as Anthony’s face pales and he looks down at the ground with his eyes wide.

Sams stomach churns. “Please? Come on, I don’t know your intentions but please tell me. He’s only 18, I-“

Anthony gets the watch as Sam regrets every word he ever said to Peter and holds back tears because there was a chance they wouldn’t find Peter and it would be Sams fault.

“Get me out of here.” Anthony tells Sam.

Sam stares at him, there’s a darkness behind Anthony’s eyes at that moment he’s only seen on Bucky when he had to act like the winter soldier with Zemo.

Sam thinks back to Peter voguing for Anthony and makes a decision. This time, he would trust Peter.

“Alright.”

None of the other Avengers had been consulted during this decision, but Sam leaves the tracking of his wings on just in case.

He and Anthony would go together to help Peter.

“What are we doing?” Anthony asked while Sam walked into his room at the compound.

“I don’t know what we’re up against, I gotta suit up.” Sam said.

Anthony hummed and nodded, leaning against the doorway while Sam picked up something familiar.

“Is that Captain America’s shield?” Anthony asked, raising a brow.

“Yeah, Steve gave it to me before he retired.” Sam nodded, picking up a duffel bag.

“Which makes you Captain America.” Anthony smiled.

“Yup.” Sam chuckled.

“Alright, grab your suit. You can change on the plane.” Anthony decided, already walking off.

“What?” Sam quickly slung the duffel bag over his shoulder, carrying the shield and jogging to catch up with Anthony.

“What do you mean, plane?” Sam asked.

Anthony lifted his hand, holding a pair of keys in it. “Snatched it before you guys locked me up. You should really have an AI looking over this place to tell you things.” He suggested.

Sam felt some deja vu, remembering when Tony was alive and the voice of Friday could be heard everywhere. Rhodey shut her down, unable to listen to her voice and be reminded of his friend.

—

Anthony takes them to where Peter is currently trying to get a good vantage point on the threat, he’s only getting minor goons outside the building(maybe? The antagonist is up to you).

Sam stays back for a bit, getting a call on his phone from Rhodey who he knows is pissed.

He hesitantly answers and listens to the scolding but gives them their location anyway, having more Avengers on their way.

Anthony and Peter are talking and planning as well as joking. Peter seems pleased that Sam decided to trust him.

The three of them start to infiltrate the threat, Anthony has a wrist gauntlet that’s ice blue and silver he uses as well as a gun.

The Avengers arrive rather quickly to help the fight, all very wary about Anthony.

Here’s the thing, they all know Anthony’s moral is messed up and he isn’t afraid of killing or anything like that. They know he isn’t Tony.

So when Peter gets injured/almost dies they are all very surprised to see Anthony freeze as Sam tries to help the wound on his body.

The threat is gone at this point and the Avengers are trying to help Peter while he’s screaming out in pain, and Anthony is unfamiliar with the liquid rolling down his face.

(You can also make it where everyone thinks Peters dead and he kinda wakes up in the middle of their mourning lol)

And then Anthony snaps back into it, rushing forward and sliding through The small crowd and leaning down next to Peter with Sam on the other side.

“Hey hey hey, you’re alright kid. You’re alright.” Anthony said, forcing and smile and putting his hand on the side of Peter face.

Peters crying while Sams trying to get the bullet/clean the wound.

Anthony grabs onto Peters hand and squeezes it, Peter squeezes back.

“You’re gonna be okay Peter, I know it hurts, Underoos.” Anthony whispered in Peters ear.

Peter looked like he was gonna say something but then looked up and locked eyes with Anthony.

“What?” Peter whispered.

For Anthony, that moment too felt unreal. Memories began to blend with his own.

~~

‘There’s this crazy car parked outside!’

‘Mr. Parker.’

‘Umm. What, what are you doing? Hey.. I- I- I’m Peter.’

‘Tony.’

~

‘If you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it!’

~

‘I don’t want to go, please, I don’t want to go Mr. Stark.’

‘I’m sorry.’

~

‘Hey! Holy cow! You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? And I must've passed out because I woke up and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there right. And he said 'It's been five years. Come on, they need us.' And he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does. Anyway...’

Tony hugged Peter, feeling as the teens excitement wore down.

‘This is nice.’

~

‘Mr. Stark, hey, Mr. Stark?’

‘Can you hear me? it’s Peter. Hey..we won. Mr.Stark. We won, Mr.Stark. We won, You did it sir, you did it.’

~~

“Anthony? What did- what did you just call me?” Peter asked, sliding up against the wall nearby after Sam finished making sure his wound was okay.

The Avengers looked confused, Rhodey glancing at the Tony lookalike uneasily.

Anthony and Peter looked at each other, both pale and scared.

“I- I don’t understand.” Anthony muttered.

Peter seemed to be staring at Anthony’s eyes the whole time, tears going down his face.

“Your eyes, Mr. Stark.” Peter held his hand to his mouth, staring in disbelief.

“What?” Anthony asked, new found emotion for the kid and everyone around him.

“Your eyes, Tony. They’re brown.”

#irondad #tony stark #peter parker #iron dad

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 277: Go Go Child Soldiers

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “hey guys I’m going to kill off Aizawa” and we were like “no you’re not” and he was like “watch me, I’m really gonna do it!!” and we were all “DO NOT” and he was all “okay okay geez.” I don’t know if he thinks he’s being cute or what, but we will probably have to have a little talk after this. Anyway, so other stuff that happened included the obligatory news copter showing up to record the carnage so that All Might and Eri can watch; Tomura activating some Approximately High End Noumus to serve as cannon fodder to distract all the hero extras; and Gran dropping off Kacchan and Deku a little ways away from the battle and being all “stay here”, which was IMMEDIATELY and PROFOUNDLY ignored as they just FLEW RIGHT BACK OVER TO THE BATTLE anyway to save Aizawa. Yep. Kacchan really wants to lose that quirk.

Today on BnHA: Tomura, Deku, Kacchan, and Endeavor all take turns flinging each other into the ground and launching fire and explosions and stuff, all of which is impressively violent and doesn’t really get anything accomplished. The grown-ups all collectively decide to shrug off Deku and Kacchan joining in on the fight as though they’re teenagers sneaking into an R-rated film as opposed to CHILDREN on a BATTLEFIELD, and I can’t help but feel like this very nonchalant decision will have some serious consequences! Tomura has a moment of self-awareness in which he’s all “is AFO possessing me lol” before deciding “NAH THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE” which, haha, okay. The chapter then ends with Mt. Lady unsettlingly taking on Gigantomachia ALL BY HERSELF??! which seems like a REALLY TERRIBLE IDEA?? and had better not result in anything bad happening to her though or I SWEAR TO GOD.

ooooooooh!

preview of the final battle, anyone? and I feel like this panel is deliberately drawn to resemble All Might and AFO’s iconic battle at Kamino as well, which ramps up the intensity all the more. very nice

and shout out to Aizawa for making this moment possible with his quirk! I have to assume this isn’t something we’re gonna get the chance to see too often moving forward, unless he decides to chaperone all future battles from here on out, which would be good for the kids but also very stressful for me

anyways, so... lol

it really is almost as though Gran asked them this question and then Deku was like “OOH! I KNOW!” and then just leaped into action to demonstrate. “this!! him getting ahold of me, right?? this would be so much worse.” good job Deku

although

he’s not wrong, though. dammit. I mean, I’ve already tacitly endorsed their involvement by approving of them saving Aizawa’s life. you know, for that brief span of time after Aizawa showed up and before we knew how powerful Tomura would still be even without his quirks, I really thought that Aizawa losing his own quirk was all but an inevitability. now, though, it kinda feels like they absolutely wouldn’t stand a chance without him?? hahaha

honestly it’s a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that the Child Soldiers That We All Agree Should Under No Circumstances Be A Part Of This War have so far a) saved Hawks’s life and b) now saved Aizawa’s, and by extension c) saved the entire world. I mean but don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me writing the HPSC any thank you cards any time soon

anyway now that I’ve said all that, watch Aizawa just immediately lose his fucking quirk right afterwards though. WE’LL SEE

...sigh

why is every last one of the pros so utterly goddamn useless. sorry, was that a bit harsh. I’ll try to phrase it more gently. what I meant to say was, why is every single non-Mirko adult person on this mission about as useful as a RoseArt crayon. why do they all SUCK so HARD. why are they BAD. bad!! they’re just bad!!!

anyways but back to Deku

I’m torn between SOBBING FREELY at this and banging my head against a wall lmao. help please my green son is so loving and brave and so tremendously stupid, just

this is true! and by the way though Deku, just remind me again, I spaced it out just now, what was the reason Tomura was out here to get ambushed by Aizawa and the others in the first place? he was after... something? one for... the road? one for the money? one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?? damn what was it

damn it Aizawa stop dumping your feels in the middle of my sarcastic rants

bro. I know, right?? listen I’m proud of him too don’t get me wrong! the unfortunate thing is though that right now he’s not just your student; he’s also -- and it’s not your fault you don’t know this yet though -- The Thing That Tomura Wants Right Now, On A Silver Platter. so yeah. hence why I am concerned

oop no time to talk though cuz my boys are doing a ~*~COMBO THING~*~ ooooooooh yeahhhhhhh

look at that. “okay Deku you just hold him there and try not to get shot.” truly dazzling teamwork there

LISTEN, YOU!!

THE DISRESPECT?? ooh man and look at his face. this is the happy reunion I’ve been waiting oh my god oh my god

LOL

YEAH HE CAN DO THAT NOW HAHA. while you were off getting all transcendent he was mastering his BLOOP now what huh take that

...sob he’s just yanking Deku along behind him as if he weighs nothing. it’s like that one fancomic of the entire Bakusquad trying to stop an angry Kirishima --

-- HOLY SHIT I SAID “WHOA” ALOUD

MEEP THAT’S CLOSE. whew. okay. breathe. breathe

OH IT’S YOU AGAIN

you guys, is it just me or has this entire battle so far just been one long loop of -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> Kacchan goes with -> Kacchan almost dies -> an adult intervenes at the last possible second -> Endeavor tries to fight Tomura -> Endeavor almost dies -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> repeat ad infinitum

anyway so Tomura’s actually going flying into the ground now. that probably came within a hair’s breath of actually nearly almost mildly hurting him! way to go guys keep it up!

and Endeavor’s now echoing a question which many fans have been asking these last few weeks, “where’s Shouto?” where indeed. off somewhere not being a dumbass like these two, one hopes. maybe sticking his arm down some Not Quite High Ends’ throats and making them hibernate

lord help us Tomura’s actually stopped fighting for two seconds to monologue. is this good or bad??

is this a deliberate tactic? are you trying to buy time?? I don’t like this lol. why did they stop fighting you now that they’ve finally almost sort of got an edge on you

wow we’re really just... letting the kids fight, huh

just letting them be right there in formation with Endeavor. no one stops to think “are there any actual adult people we could try and swap out in place of these two high school freshmen?” because they already know the answer is “no there are not” SIGH

EVEN AIZAWA OMG

AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?? “la la la we’re not gonna think about it.” goddammit I liked it when you guys were at least trying to pretend like the sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be here fdslkfjlk

anyway. for what it’s worth, at least we’ve got the only three people in the world who ever tried to surpass All Might standing up here ready to take on the guy whose strength and toughness is approximately the same as his. that’s something. I guess this really is our best shot

YES WE GET IT

“I GUESS IT CAN’T BE HELPED” should be the goddamn chapter title. either that or “SHRUG, CHILD SOLDIERS, I GUESS!!!”

anyway so he’s telling Deku and Kacchan not to ask for direction in one breath, and then giving them orders right away with the next

djsalfkj. welp. you heard him Kacchan. guard Deku no matter what. this will definitely end well

KLDSKFLKSHG MEANWHILE!!!

DON’T MIND HIM HE’S JUST POSSESSED BY A LITTLE BIT OF AFO-SOUL. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

oh man he actually looks freaked out??!

like he has no idea what happened just now. I’m sorry, up until this point were you thinking that having echo-y “wooooo... One for All... go get it~~” voices inside your head was perfectly normal?? lol boy he’s been playing you this whole time and he’s still playing you. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S EERIE DREAM WARNINGS. YOU GET POSSESSED

meanwhile!! both Deku and Tomura reacting at the same time! DO YOU BELIEVE ME THAT THEY SHARE A MENTAL LINK YET. hmm hmm hmm anyway

so now Tomura is straight up in denial!

sadly I’m growing more and more convinced that he’s wrong on all three accounts there. you may think it’s your power and your body...

and wait though, because this is the first time that the idea of him not being in control of his body has actually been brought up, isn’t it? so that’s a nice big red flag there! up until now the argument could be made that even if AFO’s will is manipulating Tomura from behind the scenes and influencing his decisions, there was nothing to indicate that AFO could potentially take over his entire body. but now that Tomura has brought it up as a possibility -- even if he’s in denial about it -- I’d say it’s not only possible, but extremely likely! so that’s a nice big thing looming on the horizon there

and it also in turn gives us a potential solution to the question of “how can this battle possibly end without all of the heroes dying and/or Tomura losing?” because one has to assume that Aizawa’s quirk is going to be taken out of the picture at some point, whether it’s because of him blinking at the wrong time or being shot with a bullet or what. at which point Tomura would basically become unstoppable again and be free to just destroy everything like he wants. but now this introduces the possibility of him potentially taking himself out of the picture for the time being. like if he realizes that he’s in danger of being outright possessed, I could see him leaving them for now and running off to go wage mental war with himself for a while, giving the heroes some time to regroup and lick their wounds. so that’s interesting to think about

holy shit!!

okay so just a couple of things I want to take note of here before we read on

“I don’t want to become like you” -- I think we can take this as confirmation that Tomura will fight against AFO if and when he realizes he’s being manipulated. his loyalty to him isn’t completely blind. so that could have some potentially huge implications moving forward

this image of Tomura being on the inside of AFO’s body, in what looks to be the same mental landscape from chapter 270, though. ...yeah. just who is really in charge, here

anyway so his next thought on page 11 is “I want to be even greater than you”, echoing Deku (and Kacchan’s) desire to be even greater than All Might, which is yet another nice parallel between them

and he’s basically telling the AFO voice inside him to shut up now, as if it will actually listen

yep. you want to go after One for All for your own deeply personal reasons. not following your master’s whims at all, nope. you are your own man

so now finally Gran is getting in on the action!

no idea why he want after the arm though. as if a broken arm ever stopped anyone in this fucking manga

OOOH NANA NAME DROP

???? um??? your dead grandma??? remember???!! don’t tell me you don’t at least recognize your own fucking last name there?? that is significant and don’t try to tell me otherwise! and in a chapter about you being rebellious and trying to defy AFO’s will, besides!!

holy shit

1. THE GRAN/TOSHINORI FATHER/SON FEELS I WASN’T READY!!, and 2. HOLY SHIT THIS OLD MAN IS RIPPED, THOUGH

AND HERE COMES ENDEAVOR NOW TO RUIN EVERYTHING SOMEHOW, PROBABLY

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FACE MEANS BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T A GOOD FACE I CAN TELL YOU THAT

OH NO SOMEHOW DEKU GOT INVOLVED AGAIN LOL

DIDN’T I TELL YOU IT WAS A NEVERENDING LOOP OF A FIGHT. SO NEXT UP IS KACCHAN JOINING IN AND THEN ALMOST DYING AGAIN

OH MY GOD

NEVER. ENDING. LOOP oh god oh god. next time don’t loudly shout “HE’S JUST THE BAIT” before launching your surprise attack you dingus!!

HOLY MOLY

OKAY BUT

I don’t know about you but I am hella impressed that he managed a blast like that without blowing his own fucking arm off

with the exception of that one time he got all excited and tried to vaporize Todoroki during the sports festival, we have almost never seen Katsuki go all out against anyone, and the possibility that we might be about to see it now is THRILLING. I AM THRILLED

NOW WE’RE CUTTING TO ENDEAVOR AND HE’S FLASHING BACK TO THE SHORT SPEECH ALL MIGHT GAVE HIM WAY BACK WHEN ABOUT THEM BEING DIFFERENT AND ABOUT HOW ENDEAVOR SHOULD FIND HIS OWN PATH RATHER THAN TRYING TO BE THE SAME KIND OF SYMBOL AS ALL MIGHT. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S BEING BROUGHT UP NOW BUT OH GOLLY!

(ETA: I guess it might be because Endeavor -- unlike All Might -- isn’t facing Tomura alone but is working together with the kids to do this combo? like it’s a teamwork thing? I don’t really know lol I’ll think on it some more.)

LOL WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING. lol everything is either being exploded or on fire

KFFLSLLK “MEANWHILE”?????

OH NO OH GOD

SIGHING OUT LOUD AGAIN!! not because I’m disappointed to cut away from the Kacchan Loses His Quirk Battle (in due time!!), but because this means that yet again I’m going to have to spend a chapter worrying about Horikoshi killing off one of the TWELVE remaining living female pro hero characters he has, of which one is a healer, another is retired and working as a secretary, yet another only seems to do TV commercials, yet another another currently has... I want to say two limbs?? but I’m not even sure anymore, and lastly two more yet anothers are currently WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN and MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. so if you’re counting, that’s a full HALF of what was already maybe only a fifth of the total pro hero population in general

all of which is to say that IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A FINGER ON MT. LADY I WILL FUCKING END YOU HORIKOSHI. we are NOT HAVING THAT. you hear me?? YOU CAN’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME DRAWING MIRKO ALL OVER THE PLACE AND BEING ALL “I FUCKING LOVE GIRL POWER” ONLY TO GO AND BE ALL “OH BUT I KILLED MT. LADY THOUGH WHOOPS”!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS AIN’T IT

sigh. and yet why do I have a very bad feeling about this. hopefully I’m just overreacting. please don’t sully this amazing arc!! MANGA GODS, I OFFER YOU THIS PRAYER

#bnha 277 #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #gran torino #aizawa shouta #all for one #mt. lady #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #meanwhile bakugou's hamburglar mask just sits there untouched?! #even amidst all this carnage #like sure let's go ahead and put mt. lady in mortal danger #but GOD FORBID anyone touch that mask #tomura keeps trying but people keep tackling him whenever he gets close #it's a struggle you guys #it's a struggle

[bigfan-fanfic]

Who is Batdad closest to outside Wayne manor? Does he have much of a life outside of the Wayne's? Who would Batdad consider his closest friends besides his family?

Honestly, Batdad doesn’t have much of a life outside of the Waynes. He doesn’t really have anyone other than the League to talk to. Clark would probably be his closest friend outside of his family because in a lot of ways they are similar.

Okay, let me talk about this. ( I came back up and decided to answer more concisely above and put this under a read more because it’s very, very long, and I cried three times while writing it and I have never had any visceral reaction to what I write ever before... oof. Just be warned if you ever feel anxiety or pressure that basically, that’s what follows)

Batdad basically denies his own wants and dreams because he wants to help Bruce. What this means is that no matter what Batdad wanted to be before (maybe he and Bruce were dating and he confessed his desire to be a writer and Bruce allowed himself the fantasy and said they’d buy an island somewhere, and Bruce would lounge on the beach and supply Batdad in kisses while he writes the best book ever), by the time Bruce gets back to Gotham from his training, Batdad has had to become what Bruce would have been if Thomas and Martha were there. 

He’s a public figure and philanthropist, carrying the legacies of Martha and Thomas on his shoulders. He has to keep Martha’s business running - no, not just running, thriving - and deal with corrupt officials, corporate espionage, and greedy businesspeople all but threatening him to take Wayne Enterprises public so they can trade stock, all while making sure Thomas’ charities are well-funded and the money is actually going where it should (see earlier greed, corporate and personal). This is all while having to attend galas and functions and fundraisers and events or risk pissing off any one of these people who can turn his life into hell - missing one event can lead to being blacklisted and then that means nobody goes to a charity gala, which means that there’s no hospital built for those in the Narrows.

All this and also consider that everybody in high society sneers at you because the only reason you’re there is because you’re engaged to Bruce and you lived with him ever since Martha and Thomas died. You’re besieged on all sides, because the snobs hate you, the press wonders if you’re even qualified to run a business, and there’s always envy and hatred from below because why aren’t you doing MORE to help them? You haven’t been trained in this - your parents were upper-middle-class at best; you met Bruce by chance, so it’s just you and Alfred and this crushing, all-consuming PRESSURE and the fact that none of it is enough, you aren’t doing enough, it’ll never be enough.

Oh, and at this point, you’re probably only in your mid-twenties at the latest. And it only gets harder because Bruce is back and crime fighting and now you have to worry about him dying on patrol, so every night you’re there to assist him (sleep? don’t know her) and patch him up and support him every day even though he pretends a little too well to be a drunken boor and a cheating asshole (sometimes he isn’t even pretending) and help him when he gets frustrated and then you adopt a kid after your first day off in years (day off, what’s a day off, you haven’t slept enough since you were eighteen and Bruce left you and Batman came back but you haven’t said a word about it) and now there’s school and making sure Dick eats enough and is happy and doing good and doesn’t get overworked on patrol and stressing on whether or not Dick is okay whenever he leaves the Manor and again, none of it is ever enough.

You feel like you’re in your fifties by the time you hit thirty and the Justice League forms and that means SO much more work not just physically but emotionally because Bruce can’t meet anyone new without determining a thousand different ways to kill them if necessary (except for Talia, apparently. And Selina. And Silver Freaking St. Cloud. And Julie Morrison. And any number of dalliances Bruce has had because somehow they’re all smarter. or stronger, or maybe he just has a weakness for tall women who don’t take his crap. Is that what you do? Is your loyalty and consistency and unconditional love actually what lets Bruce walk away so often to a woman’s bed? Is it because he knows you will still be there? Is it because you have put so much of yourself into this life, into your children, into the Wayne Legacy of Perfection and Excellence that it would kill you to leave? Is it because you’re just another tool to him, one that will be quickly replaced when you succumb to sleep-deprivation, or that thing you’ve heard about in the news where people are dying from overwork so often the Japanese have a name for it, or the fact that you’re doing the work of ten, no, twenty people and not once have you ever complained to Bruce or begged him like any reasonable person would to stop this vigilante nonsense and actually LIVE), but now you have to coordinate meetings and a thousand different secret identities and make sure everything’s kosher and nobody’s fighting and of course Bruce has a beef with the nicest freaking guy in the League and Clark keeps coming to you to see if you can help them work it out.

Oh, and then there’s Talia, aka the thorn in your existence and her child who literally has tried to murder you for the crime of being married to Bruce years before he had even heard of Talia, and now on top of all the above, you have to balance getting to know the kid and be reminded day in and day out by him that you aren’t enough, that Talia has such a deeper connection to Bruce, that you are an obstacle to his happiness, that she’s so much smarter and stronger than you, that you are weak and everything you touch becomes weak and tainted by you. And not to mention that you still aren’t doing enough because Gotham’s underprivileged are screaming in pain from everything they deal with and at least you are fed and clothed and you have a family you can support and you are rich and you need to be doing MORE. 

And nobody else in the League can even come close to understanding you because wow, you do so much, do you ever take a break? You come this close to crying when Oliver remarks that if he had to do that much work, he’d go back to the island he was stranded on for five years because he’s joking. For anyone else your life would be a living hell and he’s joking. How do you do so much; do you ever sleep; hah, Bruce, your husband is showing you up! And this is when they even acknowledge you, and you feel like a major-league prick for even thinking these thoughts because Bruce and the League put their lives on the line every day (oh god they’re always in danger and the stress of losing your boys - which has happened to you already - and Bruce and your friends who are the only ones you can ever actually talk to without worrying that you’ll give away someone’s identity) and you’re complaining about a little bit of paperwork? You get to go to parties and meetings while your husband fights to save lives and you’re complaining? How selfish are you? All you do, everything you do, it isn’t enough, it’s never enough, there’s always MORE MORE MORE and it never ever stops.

Jason is dead, Jason comes back, Dick is beaten within an inch of his life, the Joker kidnaps Tim and you are hanging by a thread because the last time the Joker took one of your kids and you couldn’t find them meant that there was an empty bed and too many memories but no time to grieve because Bruce threw himself into work without a care and you needed to do even MORE because you can’t lose him too. And even the League was supposed to help with this but it doesn’t because you can’t bear to lose anyone, because they’re family and not only that, the world has gotten careless because the supers will save them and crime is actually going UP somehow and if even one of the League dies, a city could be overrun by now because the police and government are all but useless and the skies are filled with supervillains and the only thing stopping the world from falling into utter disrepair is the League, and thus you. And through all of this you have to be doing better, have to be doing MORE because every new thing means all the rest of your work becomes that much harder and you haven’t slept properly in a decade now and you feel ancient but still, you can’t complain, you haven’t earned the right to complain because you are never hungry and you never go without and there are so many people who need your help and charities that depend on you to function and kids that need fatherly advice and affection and a League that needs managing and you don’t have time for a breakdown because if you’re gone for too long everything collapses and everyone you love suffers and forget about therapy because who the FUCK could you ever talk to about any of this without either revealing a hundred secret identities and putting everything at risk or sound like a whiny crybaby?

Selina and Talia are back and hovering around your husband again and they flirt with him like you don’t exist and it’s not his fault and you love him but you see Talia every day in Damian’s voice and manner and don’t even think about talking to Bruce about his infidelity because he has so many more important things to worry about and he’s already apologized profusely and anything else makes you feel selfish and you HAVEN’T SLEPT in what feels like all your life and every moment not filled with work is filled with stress about work and worry because every time you don’t see your boys is a moment they can be dead and you don’t know it and every moment Bruce isn’t at the Watchtower is another moment Lex Luthor has to enact some horrifiying plan or the Joker gets ahold of a nuclear weapon or something else unforseeably terrible happens and it is TOO MUCH but you still need to be doing MORE because it isn’t enough and you aren’t enough and nothing is ever enough.

Is there even a you anymore? There used to be a kid there who just wanted to help his friend when he lost his parents. A kid who got left behind to stay with that friend. A teenager with dreams and hopes and wishes and a sweet boyfriend who could maybe get past his grief and lead a good life with you. A young man with the chance to stop his lover from leaving, to stay with him and not give in. Where did he go? Is he still there, underneath the years? Or is he gone, and this being made of stress and fear and feelings of inadequacy and stifled complaints and sadness gone unsaid and trauma left to fester all that you are? That kid you once were gets further and further away with everything you do to help, every time you keep silent  because what good would it do to scream the way you want to, the way you’ve needed to for so many years but never let yourself?

And yes, your boys and your husband make it better, make it worthwhile, but it remains that you feel old, you’ve been tired since you were still 19. Your days are consumed with stress and your nights are filled with fear. And you can never say this now because it has been years, and you’ve lost that chance. The guilt would throw Bruce off his game and if he’s off his game, he could die and all of this would be for nothing. Quite against your will, you’ve been trapped in a no-win situation, and even death is no escape because you know that without you, it all comes crashing down and game over. You are Atlas, holding up the world and knowing that you have just enough strength to hold it up for eternity. And no one will release you from your prison.

But you have to endure it, and smile while you do so because if Bruce ever knew (or if he even cared to look), it’d all go falling down. You are the support, and the support’s support, but no one ever thinks that you might need assistance. What do you have going on? Being a dad? Working? Attending parties? It isn’t enough and you know it isn’t enough and everybody knows that it isn’t enough and they always, always need MORE.

I wonder now how Batdad does it. How he doesn’t break down crying. And part of that is because he is fictional, and I never thought about what it would be like to go through that level of pressure every day of your life. I hope someday Bruce comes to his senses. That even if he doesn’t let go of his grief, maybe he stops being Batman. And stops training Robins. Because yes, he gave them a home, but he manipulated them into being what he is. Who knows what good Dick could have done if he had just been Bruce’s adopted son. Maybe a philanthropist. Maybe he just would’ve had a happy life instead of one where he could die every day. Where he constantly has to reopen the wound of his parents’ deaths to convince him to keep at it. I want them to realize that they don’t have to, anymore.

But they won’t. Because they aren’t real. And they exist for our entertainment. And because we’ll keep reading the comics and watching the movies and playing the games, Bruce will always be Batman and never come to terms with his parents’ deaths in a healthy way and there will always be more threats to existence and even just to him personally.

And Batdad too, is trapped.

[spiritclusters]

Fic Review-1

This is going to be an ongoing series where I read, review, and generally fan about SPN fics that I've read. Because it's one of the deepest desires of my soul to discuss fics in detail with people, and fan and generally just be a nerd, like you would with a original story Unfortunally, I really, really want to do this with the authors, but I'm shy and reclusive, and don't feel comfortable doing so. So instead, I'm going to make a giant tumblr post to describe how much I love their work.

So, no crit in these reviews, just love

*If you have a recommendation for a SPN fic (gen, preferably), your own or someone else's that you want me to read and "review", please leave and ask or DM me. (<20k for now).

Today's victim: Karma's Gonna Come Collect Your Debt

Set: S13

Parings: gen

Length: 35k

Main character: Written to be Sam, but I would also argue Dean.

Summary:

Sam is dead. Dean isn’t processing.

And then Sam is not dead, Lucifer is there, and they’re suddenly on a deadline- thirty one hours before their single way home literally ceases to exist. Jack needs to be kept away from Lucifer, Sam needs to be kept away from Lucifer, they need to get thirty three people through a rift miles away, and that’s not even mentioning the fucking war currently being waged all over this- literally -godforsaken planet.

But Sam is alive, (alive, alive, Dean’s brother is alive), albeit having one continuous panic attack. This is fine.

(It is so, so not.)

(EVERYTHING BELOW THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS!)

Reasons You Should Read This:

You know those writers that actually manage to take trauma into account, while pushing forward the story and not allowing this to get buried? this is one of those.

Sam and Lucifer content is just. mm. It's horrible, and it's treated like it's horrible.

Dean's anxiety is actually shown

Dean is traumatized by what happened to Sam by the vampires. his brother's throat gets ripped open, and Dean isn't like "oh, we're okay" after Sam walks up alive again, he spends the entire fic stressed about it

The pacing is lovely, no detail is spared

Lucifer shows up at the camp and no one goes "he's in chains, ergo, he's no longer a problem." He is the Devil, and he is treated as the untrustworthy, snake-like creature he is.

Cas isn't powerless, and he's not stupid.

Mary isn't amazing, but she actually tries to have some form of a bond. Sort of.

LUCIFER TORTURING SAM FOR 180+ YEARS IS NOT IGNORED!

Gabriel isn't useless or just there to please fans, he actually does something

The Cage is talked about.

Jack learns about the Cage

Upon learning about the Cage, Jack decides he doesn't want to talk to Lucifer anymore.

Dean is not ignorant to what Lucifer's presence is doing to Sam, or what it has done to Sam in the past. The fic implies that while Sam probably doesn't talk about it to Dean (Because PTSD and it makes sense), Sam isn't unaffected by what happened to him.

Dean is overly paranoid about anywhere he goes, trying to make sure that it's safe. (Such a small detail, but it always, always pleases me to read it)

Dean and Sam actually have a bond, and it's so very present and so very, very enjoyable.

Sam kills Lucifer

No Michael possession!

Protective!Dean

Sam speaks Enochian, which always gets a win for me.

++My Analysis of the fic:

Writing style and why it works:

The writing is very authentic to how I think Dean's brain works. It's anxiety riddled, fast with worry, and clearly shows the depth of how much hunting has affected him. Dean's brain isn't...smooth is the only word I can think of for this, it's not point A to B like other characters are and that makes sense. The writing focuses deeply on reactions, the way words are spoken, and physical sensations. Especially for Dean, there's little to 0 regard on how he's feeling. Which is something I totally see Dean doing.

But the reason that this frantic, almost skittering writing works is because this is a situation that you'd be thinking like that. Lines cut out because Dean, trauma riddled, doesn't want to think about something. There's jumping and processing and "well, crap" moments. My favorite thing about this author's writing style? they are very much into show not tell, which allows the readers to draw their own conclusions, but also makes it a much more enjoyable experience.

The focus on time, especially given these circumstances, was a beautiful detail to add. It kept a sense of pressure on the writing, because everyone knows that we are on a time limit.

There's also a deep sense of secrecy between Sam, Dean and Cas and the others in the story. They have and share information between the three of them that no one else has, and that makes sense because they have been working together for years.

But because, Sam and Dean especially, they are aware of each other, the characters don't feel like strangers. They know each other, and have been living with each other for a long, long time, and you can clearly see that with how attuned they are to each other. It was beautiful.

Character portrayal:

One of my favorite things about how the characters are portrayed here is that Sam is visibly uncomfortable in Lucifer's presence. Sam was disgusted by Lucifer, and when we're told that because Sam still has residual grace left in him and he can kill Lucifer, Sam is horrified. Sam is allowed to be as trauma riddled as someone who went through that would be. It's beautiful.

I also really appreciate how Dean is allowed to be freaked out about Sam literally getting his throat ripped out. Dean is allowed to not be this perfect fearless older brother. Dean is human here. He's a person with struggles who is concerned about Sam and others, but Dean still feels distinct.

I will also forever appreciate how the characters interact here. Everything is so subtle. If they're soft, it's not blatant, if they hate each other, then it's angry staring, but nothing feels explicit, and I love that.

Small details that make me go "mm.":

Dean always checking the "safety" of a room when they enter.

Mary not knowing about the Cage or John telling Dean to kill Sam

Sam's body language when he's around Lucifer

Upon 1 (one) glance at lucifer, Sam is completely aware that the chains have no effect on Lucifer and tells Dean

(pale face, frantic eyes, mouth open in an agonized scream)

Dean not knowing Maggie's name

Favorite scene and why:

This was hard, but man, the scene where Sam and Dean lay down to get some rest after Sam comes back to camp with Lucifer, and they just...don't sleep. There's something about this scene that just is so...deeply and utterly horrifying. Because Sam and Dean are supposed to be safe, right?

Sam's alive, Dean's alive, they're close to each other, neither of them are injured. They're fine.

And yet.

Yet...they're not. And you can feel that. Dean is tense and not-sleeping, and Sam is tense and not-sleeping. And there's something just so deeply haunting about that scene and I just. My love. <3

Favorite quotes:

“No,” Jack shook his head. “Why do they hate you?”

“It’s in me Dean, oh, god-” (“I’ve got demon blood in me Dean, this disease pumping through my veins-”) Dean shuts his eyes against the unwanted memory that had risen unbidden to the forefront of his mind. He firmly shoves it away.

"And now Sam was somewhere. Probably having a panic attack. Dean needed to find him."

"Sam, I know you will, I know you can, this isn’t me doubting you I swear. But, man, you don’t have to. You shouldn’t have to"

He hadn’t, not since the Cage. Maybe he couldn’t.

Because Dean will make time, damnit, because Sam shouldn’t have to f--ing schedule his panic attacks-

Dean can’t see it, but he knows his brother well enough to read the tightness in his shoulders and shifts in his elbows under the jacket that tell him Sam’s pressing into his palm scar again.

Because Sam never got angry anymore... not since the Cage.

“Heyyyyy Cassie! You’re back! Thank Dad.” Dean turned to see Gabriel trotting up to them, a scowling Lucifer in tow. “Take im’, please, he’s all yours.” He said, motioning to the Devil behind him."

Over all, I think that the story is beautiful. please be sure to leave a kudos and a comment if you read, because this author is dear to my heart and deserves them.

link once more

Author tag or link: @widowronin, Огромное спасибо! :D

#fic rec #spn fic rec #hbo spn #sam and dean #sam and lucifer #sam and trauma #cage trauma #fic reviews

[kitkatt0430]

So I saw a gifset from the episode Power Outage that reminded me that in season one - and presumably season two - Ralph Dibny is actually dead. He died because of the accelerator explosion in December 2013, but presumably due to Flashpoint he's alive by the time season four rolls around. (So he's actually alive in season three.)

In the show, the only two people who might have realized that Ralph being alive is a product of Flashpoint are Barry (because he lived in that pre-Flashpoint timeline) and Cisco (because Vibe powers). But neither of them mention it, so I guess we'll never know for sure that his survival isn't actually down to the Legends meddling with time (like the Scooby-Doo gang, but with a significantly cooler ride - sorry, not sorry, Mystery Machine).

Anyway, all of this has reminded me of a fanfic idea I've had in the back of my head for a while.

So it'd start with Barry's return from the Speed Force at the start of season four. Iris and Eddie are married and various other changes abound as i see fit. Barry comes back still massively out of touch with reality and writing in the speedster glyphs and Wally gets help from Jesse to defeat the Samuroid bot. Also Wally isn't Kid Flash anymore - he has taken on the mantle of the Flash in his own right.

Barry starts recovering slowly, but as he does his understanding of the glyphs he's writing with wanes... even though he keeps doodling them all over the place. He winds up quitting his job at the CCPD because he's just... not in a place where he can hold down a job right now. He's also not 100% sure anything is real and that he's not still stuck in the Speed Force and he's reluctant to seek out therapy because of his experiences with therapists as a child were not good and also he'd need to discuss being the Flash which... not happening.

Which is when the bus metas start showing up (out of show order). Wally gets the indignity of the marble-related pratfall and accidentally meta-cuffing himself. Barry starts to gain more confidence in himself and his reality when he's able to shut down the accelerator before it goes critical, moments before Wally successfully cuffs Hazard. (Presumably the accelerator actually exploding would have been very unlucky for Becky, so something would have to make it shut back down, right?)

Linda returns leading to relationship drama for Wally and Jesse. Wally finds Linda attractive but would never cheat (also Linda's really only aware of him as Iris' younger brother right now), which Jesse knows but she feels jealous anyway and she doesn't like what that says about herself. She also feels like she's stretching herself really thin trying to protect Earth-2, act as Jay's back-up on Earth-3 (because he's starting to slow down and is still looking for an apprentice, but hasn't told anyone on Earth-1 what's happening to him yet), and both date and help Wally on Earth-1. It's too much work and too much stress and too much running between different Earths. She eventually decides that, much as she cares about Wally, their relationship isn't really what she needs right now and they part ways. A hopefully more satisfying break up than what we got on the show with that cube thing. Also the thing with Kilg%re happens.

Barry realizes - using Cisco's translation program - that he keeps writing something about a bus in the speedster glyph doodles. (Cisco's translation program is incomplete.) OG Team Flash connects Becky and Ramsey back to Bus 405, which Barry... er... Flashed the day he returned from the Speed Force. (hehehehehe) They're able to identify Ralph and a few other people who were on the bus because their bus passes were logged on boarding. It's still not clear who was on the bus at the time Barry Flashed it (*snicker* i regret nothing). But Ralph had to be because, well, he boarded the bus the stop right before the Barry accidentally acted like an EMP on the bus' electronic systems.

And Barry's issues with parsing reality are triggered because he remembers two versions of Ralph thanks to time traveling and memory integration - let's just say that Barry has memories of both pre and post Flashpoint timelines and say the story would theoretically handwave it better than I'm prepared to do right now. So Barry remembers this version of Ralph, who faked evidence and was a dick to Barry (almost misspelled that as being a duck to Barry). But he also remembers another version of Ralph, who didn't fake evidence and was Barry's friend and died in a car accident trying to reach the hospital after finding out Barry'd been struck by lightning while Ralph was at home and off duty and should have been safe. (Hello Barry's guilt complex which no one actually missed.)

Barry's memories are a tangled mess (gee, thanks Speed Force), so Caitlin goes with Barry and Joe when they meet Ralph. And Ralph's knee jerk reaction to keep them at arms length - especially as he's concerned they're crooked, which isn't that ironic from his PoV - is to combine obnoxiousness with sarcasm and pepper in some misogynistic comments that piss off Caitlin enough that Frost pops out to play. Joe clearly freaks out and tries to pretend he isn't freaking out. Barry just... goes with it. Whatever, Frost is part of Caitlin and Caitlin is part of Frost and he doesn't have the time, inclination, or the survival instinct to go "enemy sighted, begin defensive measures". He's just kind of like "hey Frost, nice to see you again, I've been hoping to talk w/you, but can it wait until we're done with Ralph? Or is Caitlin not gonna give you enough time for that? 'Cause I guess we're basically done here anyway."

Meanwhile Ralph is quietly freaking out with a blank O_O expression. Because Killer Frost. KILLER FROST. His fight or flight instincts are weighted heavily to freeze in place and hope to spontaneously blend into the environment.

Which is when the mob guys show up and Barry just kind of starts laughing upon learning that this version of Ralph is basically living a crime noir plot because the other Ralph loved that genre so much. Something triggers Ralph's powers while Frost cheerfully freezes the bad guys shoes to the floor and Joe arrests them. Ralph insists he was never blackmailing anyone, and Barry and Frost wind up taking him to STAR Labs while Joe waits for Eddie to show up to help him take in the thugs.

Barry and Frost do end up talking - Cisco side-eying them hard even as he gets Ralph settled in to wait for Caitlin to come back. And Barry apologizes to Frost. For how the team treated her and how Savitar treated her and just... everything. He'd like to hope they'd have handled the situation better if they'd understood Frost was a separate personality entirely, but the truth is they fucked up and pushed Frost into the position of thinking turning to Savitar was her only choice. And he hopes that she'll give them a chance to do better by her this time. Frost says she'll think about it and pretends she's not tearing up as she lets Caitlin take back over.

that's kind of where my ideas dry up and I'm not really ready to tackle writing any of this as an actual fic yet, but... I kind of saw this as a series that would include my headcanon for Ralph being face blind and him eventually bonding with Barry over the similarities between Ralph's struggle with accepting his disability and Barry's struggle in acclimatizing to his own post Speed Force incarceration disability, but with the adding drama of Barry's friendship with the Ralph-who-died and his guilt there complicating things too.

Barry would eventually take up the mantle of the Flash again with Rip showing up shortly after to borrow Wally for the Legends, though I've got no idea how that would play out. And Julian's still in there somewhere since he's still the CCPD's CSI even though Barry's had to quit. I imagine Ralph and Julian would very much not get along. (Julian and Eddie, though... they would definitely get along.)

#the flash #unfinished story idea #alternate season four story idea #as for where harry is in all of this... um... yeah i have no idea #he's there though #the speedster glyphs would wind up being important for helping them defeat DeVoe somehow #like... barry's blocking a lot of his traumatic speed force experience out but it's still in his subconscious #so there'd be him starting to remember and dealing with all of that

[slimysnaildaddy]

How would everyone react if MC just had a bloody nose? No reason, they don't pick their nose or rub it. It just starts bleeding on one of their inhales and they go "Fuck. Not again." and set about pinch their nose, getting tissue, and try really hard not bleed on everything. (I get nosebleeds a lot from stress and dry environments... I live in a desert)

I also get nosebleeds all the time so this is a fun concept for me, especially considering some of our demon friends here are probably not super aware of human anatomy and whatnot aside from what they learn by doing demonic stuff. This is all based on the idea that the guys just. Are not used to the idea of someone just randomly bleeding out of their face and treating it like it’s nothing. Content warnings for semi-graphic descriptions of blood and blood clots.

Lucifer:

Minor nose bleed: He would probably be just a bit concerned, but after realizing MC is unfazed and already dealing with it he would calm down, maybe offer a tissue or something. He’d keep an eye on them because regardless of their calm nature, there’s no way a fragile human can just bleed randomly and be okay, right? Right??? (Poor naive boy)

Major nose bleed: This boy would panic. (Either “Ah shit the human broke Diavolo is gonna be pissed” or “oh no my sweet MC is dying what do??” depending on how close they are). He’s CONVINCED that MC is about to die. Even seeing them handle it fairly calmly, he’s gone into full fight or flight. He tries to keep chill and poised but his hands are shaking as he goes to help them (potentially under the guise of not wanting to get their smelly human blood all over the furniture).

Mammon:

Doesn’t matter how bad the nosebleed is, he’s sure MC is actively in the process of dying. Even if he knows rationally that nosebleeds aren’t fatal. He’s struggling not to cry meanwhile MC is trying to ask him to get them a tissue. He ends up needing the tissue more. If it’s a major nosebleed and they shed a clot he drops everything and hugs them, trying to call for help bc they are not allowed to die on his watch (again).

Levi:

Has seen enough anime to know about nosebleeds, but there’s a difference between a cute anime character having one upon seeing a bishie boy shirtless and MC’s nose just randomly gushing out blood right in front of him for no apparent reason. It’s somehow much more visceral in real life for him, so he freaks out a little bit and finds any cloth nearby for them to shove up their nose. Classy. He also tells them to tilt their head back, not knowing you aren’t supposed to do that.

Satan:

Actually fucking reads and knows what a nosebleed is, but like Levi reading about it and seeing someone he cares about just start hemorrhaging from the face are not the same thing. He wracks his brain trying to figure out if they have a first aid kit before settling on a hankie and helps them hold it in place, but he keeps asking if they’re injured. Especially if it’s a bad one. MC is not a person he wants to see bleed. Considers getting them to an actual doctor, even when MC tells him they’re perfectly OK. Also keeps an eye on them because something something these symptoms could be a sign of something something.

Asmo:

Registers that there’s a bodily fluid that could get on his clothing before he registers “oh shit MC is bleeding”, so he squeals and flinches away at first. However, he’s much more used to bodily fluids than most of his brothers so he at least knows how to wash the stains out. Still, MC is bleeding and he is now draped over them, sobbing dramatically about how they’re going to die and he wanted one last kiss (while avoiding letting blood get on his nice designer scarf).

Beel:

Blood makes him think meat, so now he’s hungry. But also MC might be dying?????? No no, they’re definitely dying. He’s conflicted between his stomach and his heart for .02 seconds before deciding that yeah no, MC is definitely dying and he’s gonna be there for them in their last moments. And he’ll also gently wipe the blood off their face, even if there’s a lot.

Belphie:

Stops functioning. Belph.exe has stopped working, please reboot your system. He didn’t give a shit about humans until just recently, so he’s had no reason to learn about stuff like nosebleeds. So when MC starts fucking bleeding from their face????? He’s sure they’re about to die. Again. And that it’ll somehow be his fault (again) for not getting them medical attention on time. Meanwhile MC (Still bleeding) notices he’s upset and tries to soothe him but then their nose starts bleeding MORE and it just. It’s a disaster.

Barbatos:

The level of panic depends on the amount of blood. It’s a direct correlation. If there’s just a small trickle, he simply calmly hands them a very nice embroidered handkerchief (which they get to keep!) and asks if they’re alright. If It’s a moderate nosebleed, he remains calm but is still worried, taking them to get cleaned up (but he’s not so worried as to not scold them for getting blood on their clothes or the floors, he still has to clean that shit up). If there’s a lot of blood, he’s visibly fretting and not nearly as concerned about the carpet, instead quickly taking them to the nearest bathroom and getting a few too many napkins for them to wipe their face on. “How did I not forsee their sudden death?” He thinks to himself, underestimating just how stupid human biology is.

Solomon:

“Oh dear. Do you really have to do that here?”

Just hands them a few tissues. He’s gotten nosebleeds before, he knows the deal.

Diavolo:

Already planning the funeral. Sure that MC is already dead and has simply not realized it yet. When they assure them they’re fine he DOES NOT BELIEVE IT. “MC you are BLEEDING from the FACE and you’re telling me I should stay calm??? WHAT IF YOU BLEED OUT”

They do not bleed out, but if the nosebleed lasts a long time or is very heavy Diavolo is slowly losing his mind while waiting for them to keel over.

Simeon:

Panic level also heavily depends on the severity of the nosebleed. If it’s just a little trickle he’s mildly concerned but trusts MC that they’re fine. If it’s a bad one then he’s a little more doubtful and suspects that someone has given them a cursed object or the Solomon hexed them or something.

Luke:

MC doesn’t even notice they’re bleeding until Luke SHRIEKS that distinct little kid shriek and hugs them, sure they are about to die slowly and painfully and he won’t even get to visit them in Heaven any time soon because the exchange program isn’t over yet :((((

Seriously though, he also falls into the idea that MC has somehow become fatally injured. Probably also assumes that a demon somewhere has done this maliciously through a hex or poison or something and vows to avenge them because he’s a precocious little kid.

#cw: blood #asks

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Mentions of blood, murdering, death, swearing.

Word count: 5.4k

A/N: FINALLY! I’M SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT SO LONG! As always homework held me back but I managed to finish the last chapter today, it probably has some mistakes, I’ll edit it tomorrow because I am too exhausted at the moment, sorry T.T Anyways! I just wanted to thank all the amazing people that followed the story since the beginning and those who had join along the way. I’m really grateful for all the support! Truly, thanks for everybody and I hope you enjoy the last chapter!

You woke up abruptly when the sound of gun shots dragged you out of your sleep. 

Your eyes didn’t even open when your primal instincts pulled your body up so you could sit up on the bed, ears ringing and head pounding. The stress of the situation was triggering that sickening feeling where everything around you spun but you forced your eyes to close even tighter, taking some deep breaths to slow down your heart rate. Unfortunately, when your method to calm yourself down started working, another gunshot echoed through the halls, pulling you out of your bed.

You stumbled when your feet got tangled up in the bed sheets, almost falling down to the floor if it hadn’t been for the nearby table that allowed you to hold onto it in order to not facepalm the floor. Heart pounding against your chest, you groaned when the ringing in your ears got louder, throwing you down onto your knees in the middle of the bedroom.

What was going on? 

Your hands flew up to your head, pressing your ears as hard as you could to avoid hearing whatever was driving you nuts. You felt your temperature rising up, blood starting to boil. “No, no, no, no, not now…(Y/N)....Fuck” You told yourself, barely managing to stand up as you rushed into the bathroom, hands still over your ears.

Standing in front of the sink, you reached down with one of your hands and turned on the water, leaning down to splash some of it on your face and neck to get rid of the burning sensation you were feeling. After a few seconds, when it was slowly decreasing you raised your eyes to the mirror positioned in front of you, expecting to see your skin turning slightly sweaty and your cheeks rosy from the high temperature, exactly what you found when you were with Soonyoung in the bathroom.

Everything was the same except this time, one of your eyes had turned red.

Stumbling back you fell down onto your butt, managing to hit your head on the bathtub in the process, stealing a painful hiss from your lips. However, you were too scared, too freaked out about the image you saw of yourself to even be concerned about the pain you felt on the back of your head. You were so distracted that you didn’t even noticed how a small trail of blood was starting to make its way down your neck.

The only thing that took you out of your shocked trance was the sound of the door being opened with so much strength that, when it met the wall it was an absolute miracle that it didn’t make a hole there. Jun panting figure stood there, in the bathroom, his muscles visibly relaxing when he found you safe and sound on the floor. The scent of your blood reached his nostrils though and his dead heart did a somersault he didn’t even know it was capable to do anymore.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong? Did they hurt you?” He closed the door behind himself as he walked inside, kneeling besides you. 

There was blood on his clothes, apparently not his since he didn’t seem to be hurt anywhere but the amount of red on his white shirt was truly concerning. Who did he mean by they though? Were some of the brothers out of control? Maybe Seungcheol commented your wish to exit the mansion whenever you had recovered and some of them hadn’t taken it as well as he did. You hadn’t expected it to be that easy but you weren’t expecting them to react this way either.

“My eye” You told him, staring into his eyes waiting to see some kind of shocked or surprised reaction in his, why wasn’t he surprised? “J-Jun my eye is red” 

With both of his hands on your cheeks, he looked into your eyes and a small frown appear on his forehead “This is not a moment to joke (Y/N)” He said, looking at you all serious and cold as if he seriously thought you would start pulling his leg in this kind of situation “Your eyes are like always”                                                                                                           

“But I-” 

“(Y/N) listen to me” He cut you off, not even giving you a couple of seconds so you could just explain to him what had happened. You opened your mouth to cut him off but he shook his head and started talking again, words hurried and breathless, it felt as if the two of you were running out of time “There are hunters in the house and they are well prepared to hunt us down” He explained, voice somber and tone wavery. He was obviously scared, who wouldn’t be in this kind of situation? No matter how inmortal they were, these people were here to kill them once and for all or for turning them into living experiments once again “I don’t know if we’ll win this time but you need to hide okay? Find a place in the mansion and hide”

“What? Jun what-”

“Here” He took one of your hands and placed a pocket knife in it, he knew it wasn’t the most ideal weapon in the moment, that it would be more useful to have some kind of gun with you but it was better to have that small knife than only your small, weak human hands to defend yourself “Use it if you have to, they are mean people and they won’t hesitate to put a bullet through your skull if they find you” He pulled you into his arms before you could react, resting his head against yours “Be careful out there, do not get out of wherever you’re going to hide until one of us tells you to or until you’re totally sure these guys are not around anymore, okay?” He pulled you back to look into his eyes and when you saw the concern and sadness reflected on them you could only nod quietly “Promise me (Y/N)”

“I promise I’ll be careful Jun, don’t worry” You replied, feeling anxious about how worried he seemed to be.

“I know this is not the best moment but I am so sorry for what I did to you, I hope one of these day you can forgive me” He told you, so serious that you couldn’t help but believe him “God knows I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you if we get out of this-” Jun suddenly stopped talking, the grip he hand on your shoulders got much tighter, making you wince in pain.

“Jun you’re hurting me” You told him, attempting to move away from him

“Hide under the bed” He instructed you, pulling you up and pushing you out of the bathroom “Don’t you dare make a noise, get out of there and this room as soon as they enter the bathroom, okay?” Jun was already pushing you down besides the bed, not leaving you with any other option.

“What about you?” You asked worried, concerned for him if the situation was as bad as he had described it.

“Don’t worry about me, you run out of here when you see your chance” Jun barely had time to place the bed sheets back down, cover your hidden body and walk a few steps away from the bed when someone shot at Sooyoung's bedroom door. You reached up, covering your mouth to not let any yelps out as you felt your heartbeat speeding up. “It’s okay (Y/N), I’m fine” Jun whispered, hearing how your heart was pounding against your chest “They’re coming, stay quiet no matter what, okay?”

Afraid to make a noise and already screw everything up, you only nodded, hearing his steps getting away from the bed and probably walking into the bathroom where he said he would lock himself in with whoever was coming his way. The same door that had been slightly broken by the bullets, was kicked down seconds later, making you close your eyes scared. 

From your place you couldn’t see much, just a couple of boots that judging by their size belonged to a man, he walked into the room slowly, taking in his surroundings as he searched for clues of possible vampires hidden by the furniture. You heard him turn around multiple times, he even poked one of his foot under the bed to see if he got some kind of reaction out of that. Luckily for you, no sounds were made and his foot didn’t touch you, it would have been pretty unfortunate if he had found out you were there.

Out of nowhere, a gun shot was heard again, making your ears ring thanks to it being much closer than the few other times you’ve heard the sound.

“You missed” Jun’s voice broke the silence, you could hear the fake cockiness and confidence in his tone before the man’s slow steps started speeding up as he was guided into the bathroom.

When the door closed loud enough for you to hear, you forced yourself to move, ignoring the screams of pain and the sounds of a physical fight getting out of the small bathroom, you were out of the bed in seconds and without looking behind, you sprinted out of the room.

Your body was acting on pure survival instincts, adrenaline running through your veins. You could feel your blood flowing through your veins rapidly, your heart beating as fast as it could and your body ready to move as soon as your brain started sending orders. On the left end of the hall, you could see Wonwoo and Hansol were busy fighting with somebody, the corpse of possibly one of the hunters made Wonwoo stumble back, losing his balance and falling down onto the floor. Your eyes met in that instant and he shook his head at you, silently telling you to not even think about helping them and run away. Right about when the hunter was aiming his gun at Wonwoo, Hansol broke his neck from behind, freeing his brother from his possible demise.

The image should have been terrifying, the view of that man’s body falling down onto the floor as if it was a rag doll should have had you crying in horror but you only sighed with relief when Wonwoo was safe and sound.

“Run, hide somewhere” Hansol told you from his place, waving his hand at you, indicating you should get out of there because there were probably more hunters coming their way. If the people invading the house knew who the really were, the Originals, they probably came more prepared than when they were after ordinary vampires.

Nodding at his words, you took off, running on their opposite direction and heading down the righ hall. You’ve never explored this part of the house, you could barely remember in which room’s you’ve been and in which you haven’t so you could only trust on your luck to not run in the wrong direction and end up getting as many bullets as those men were carrying in their guns. 

This part of the house was silent, which you didn’t know if it was a good sign or a really bad one. Silence could mean the enemies hadn’t reached this part of the house yet but it could also mean they had and ended the lives of whoever were supposed to defend this area. Keeping the pocket knife Jun gave you hidden in your sleeve, you slowed down your steps, hearing as attentive as you could and making as less noise as possible. Somebody could be hidden in this rooms and you weren’t going to take the risk of alarming them of your presence.

Scanning your surroundings, you decided the second room on the left for any possible hiding spots when the ringing sound that bothered you so much returned. Your hands instantly flew up to your ears, covering them as you kneeled down on the floor, again, whatever it was, started making your body burn and the place spin. 

“Ngh…” You groaned, vision blurred, barely noticing the pocket knife had fallen out of your sleeve and was now a few meters away from you “Make it stop” You muttered on the edge of crying, hands pressing harder and harder against your ears but not helping too much.

“(Y/N), WATCH OUT!” Jihoon’s voice roared, louder than the sound that made you so weak, making you look up from the floor.

You barely had time to move to the side before one of the hunters could cut your head off with the axe when was carrying in his hand, it had been so close that when the weapon went down on the floor it took some of your sleeve with you, barely scratching your arm. Your eyes opened wide with fear and you started to stand up, only to lose your balance once again thanks to the sound that was coming from him, from some kind of device he was carrying on his belt. It looked like a speaker, a small one that had a lot of volume.

“Oh, so you have little friends hiding in here too?” The man asked mockingly, looking at Jihoon as he glanced down at you “Such a shame, you would definitely be my type if you weren’t a monster”

A monster?

You didn’t know what to reply, just barely managing to move while that dreadful sound kept playing. You saw how he raised his foot, probably to stomp down on you so he would be able to kill you with his axe without failing once again but Jihoon tackled him down from behind, crashing the device on the process and freeing you from the pain that numbed your head.

“Run! Hide!” He shouted without even looking at you “Get out of here”

You weren’t going to disobey him. Getting up on your feet once again, you glanced back one more time just to see Jihoon reaching out to steal the axe from the hunter’s hands successfully, the stranger would soon be dead and you didn’t want to specific the graphic scene that was about to happen. 

Hearing some more footsteps coming from the direction you were running to, you started panicking and entered the first room that you saw besides you without even thinking about the possibility of somebody hiding in there, waiting to attack. Luckily, when you closed the door behind you, only silence and loneliness met you.

The sound of more gunshots, something you were already used to didn’t even surprised you, however, the noise of some stuff falling on the ground that came from the bathroom made you flinch in surprised. Your breath stuttered as you listened carefully, no voice or breathing being detectable, there was only a small shadow moving as some of the stuff that had probably been in a cabinet rolled around on the floor and out of the bathroom.

With slow and quiet steps, you approached the sound, patting your sleeve only to realize you had left the pocket knife behind. Walking all the way back wasn’t even an option anymore since you didn’t know who had chosen the same room as you to hide. You looked around, there wasn’t anything that could harm somebody, nothing you could use to defend yourself so you silently prayed your fists would be enough. 

Ready to fight, you walked into the bathroom, eyes dropping to the floor to find a bloody Soonyoung. You gasped surprised as you rushed to his side, kneeling down on the pool of dark blood that had started to form around him. 

He was barely conscious, wasting some strength to force up a smile when his tired eyes landed on you. There was a wound on his side, tainting his shirt in a wine color as he laid there on the ground. His forehead was sweaty and his skin even more pale than usual, almost turning into this sick color that people had when their bodies were almost out of blood. 

“S-Soonyoung, what happened? I-I...What do I do?” You carefully placed his head on your knees so he could be more confident, the quiet groan that came out of him when you moved his sore body didn't go unnoticed.

“I was in the garden with Chan and Minghao when those fuckers came out of nowhere, we tried to fight but one of them got me pretty bad” He whispered, voice hoarse as you brushed some strands of his hair away from his sweaty forehead “Joshua guided me in here and took the bullet out but we heard some commotion outside and he went to help Jun with those hunters, he didn’t came back” His voice was full of worried for his brothers but there was nothing in could do in this state.

“Should I sew the wound closed?” You asked looking down at him, he just smiled shaking his head “Then what? What can I do?”

“The bullet was poisoned so the wound will take longer to close by itself” Soonyoung’s muttered, groaning again as he closed his eyes in pain “It should have been closed by now but the fact that I’m exhausted is probably not helping” 

Looking down at him you pulled your sleeve up, quickly placing your wrist above his lips “Drink some, you need it, this will give you some energy for sure” You said, not even caring about the poison his fangs would give you or your own health. Seeing Soonyoung so weak made you feel anxiety, his well-being was your first priority at the moment.

“No, it will make you feel worse” He rejected it, turning his face away even though his eyes were already turning red now that he had opened them.

“Soonyoung I swear to God if you don’t bite me, I’ll cut myself so I can force you to drink it” You said frustrated, panicked and he must have heard that because he finally looked up at you with his hungry eyes.

“Are you sure?” He asked hesitant, his tongue coming out to lick his lips hungrily.

“Bite already” You urged him.

Nodding, Soonyoung grabbed your wrist gently with his weak and cold hand, guiding it to his opened mouth. You looked away in respect, not knowing if you watching how he fed from you would make him feel uncomfortable or something. This time Soonyoung wasn’t as gentle as he was when he had bit you for the first time but you understood since he was kind of dying at the moment, you winced at the feeling of his fangs piercing your skin but you managed to relaxed as soon as the pain was replaced by the small pull of his lips sucking out blood from you.

You leaned back against the cold wall, still running your fingers through his hair as he kept feeding in order to recover. Seconds turned into minutes, you almost lost track of time when the door of the room opened once again. Soonyoung quickly stood up, taking his fangs out of your wrist too fast and hurting you a little, you hissed in pain but he ignored it, standing up with his hand clutching his still bloody side in order to protect you from whoever had walked inside.

“It’s me” 

Seungcheol entered the bathroom with his hands up in surrender, making Soonyoung sigh frustrated as he sat back down besides you “Damn it Seungcheol, I almost had a heart attack, I thought they were here to end us both” He whispered, glancing down at your wrist as you still gripped it in pain “Did I hurt you too much?” Soonyoung asked

“It’s okay” You replied, shaking your head “Do you feel better?” 

“Fucking awesome” He said smirking, acting as if it was all good again but you could still see the tiredness in his body language. He didn’t look close to dead anymore but he still seemed to be hurt. “Thanks”

“You gave him blood?” Seungcheol asked looking down at you surprised, worried even “But-”

“He needed it more than I did, it’s fine” You told him with a small smile on your lips, you know Seungcheol was truly worried about your health and the fact that you had been bitten after he promised you, you wouldn’t be anymore was probably bothering him a bit more than usual “He was dying”

The door was kicked opened once again and the atmosphere became tense in the room, heavy footsteps approached the bathroom as Soonyoung gently pushed you behind him and Seungcheol surprising you. The fact that he was putting his life in danger to keep yours safe, showed you that, despite their past behaviour, the guys might have not been lying when they said they cared about you. Soonyoung didn’t know you too much after all and he was willing to die in order to protect yours.

“Guys?”

Mingyu’s quiet whisper made everyone relax in the room, the three of you had been prepared to fight with all your might if the person entering your little hiding spot resulted to be a hunter but as soon as the familiar voice echoed in the silence of the room, all of the tension went away.

When he walked into the bathroom his eyes first found Soonyoung’s bloody clothes which truly stood out in the white room but when he saw he was standing and that pain was slowly leaving his features he allowed his eyes drift in the direction of his other brother. Seungcheol was totally fine, he wasn’t here when you found Soonyoung and he hadn’t seemed to be wounded or harmed when he hid with you, Mingyu’s eyes found you and a small gasp escaped him when he saw the blood in your clothes.

“I’m alright….This is Soonyoung’s” You said when he started walking closer to you, his hands found their way to your hips as his eyes inspected you quietly, almost as if he wanted to make sure you weren’t hiding any wounds from their eyes. “You sure? They didn’t hurt you, right?” He asked breathless, cupping your cheeks so you could look up into his eyes.

Mingyu wasn’t shy when giving love and affection, you had witness that in your little sexcapade in the kitchen when Wonwoo decided it would be fan to watch, but you still were far from used to it and the fact that he was looking at you so passionately in front of two of his brothers got your cheeks turning red in seconds.

“You’re so pretty, God I’m so glad you’re fine” He whispered pulling you into his arms. You thought you were crazy for admitting it but you felt safe in Mingyu’s big and strong arms, the same arms that had once betrayed you but were now protecting you from whoever attempted to steal your life. “The Hunters were coming this way you need to get out of here” 

“But what about you guys?” You asked, Seungcheol and him were probably just tired but Soonyoung was not in shape to fight, not when he had just recovered for such a near death experience “What about Soonyoung?” 

“FOUND THEM!” 

The door was pushed opened once again, hitting so hard the wall that you thought a hole would have been made on it. You didn’t even had time to react when Mingyu pushed you into the bathtub with his brother Soonyoung, covering you with the white curtains to hide your bodies from their murderous eyes. 

Soonyoung pulled you down onto the floor when the shotgun was shot, covering your mouth fast so your yelp wouldn’t be heard. He wrapped his arms around your body as soon as he felt you were shaking in fear, placing his fingers under your chin, Soonyoung forced you to look at him, mouthing you the words ‘It’s fine, you’re safe with me’. You attempted to nod, to somehow tell him you believed those words but your quivering lower lip and the tears pooling in your eyes was giving away the amount of fear troubling your mind. 

He reached up, using his hands to cover your ears, Soonyoung knew the sounds of his brothers stealing some humans lives would haunt you forever, he didn’t want you to go through that torment, through the memory of witnessing such a traumatic experience. He closed his eyes too, resting his forehead against yours, praying to whoever God was up there, the one that had guided you back to them, that he wouldn’t let these hunters steal you away from his family one more time.

They wouldn’t be able to take it, pain would consume them.

The curtains were pulled opened and instead of finding Seungcheol or Mingyu there somebody was aiming at the both of you with a knife. Soonyoung immediately put himself between you and the weapon, managing to stand up to cover your body from the hunter’s view.

“Get back down, you disgusting piece of shit” Soonyoung wasn’t strong enough and the hunter easily pushed him back down on the bathtub where he landed right besides you. “Come here beautiful, get out of there before he kills you”

Looking into his eyes you nodded quietly, standing out, ignoring the way Soonyoung’s hand gripped your sleeve to stop you from moving. You gently moved his hand away though, focusing your entire attention on the man still holding a knife, aiming it where your heart was.

“Good girl” Knowing it would set the vampire in the bathtub off, the man pushed you flushed against his body, burying his face in your neck “Now I know why you keep such a pretty little thing in here for enterta-UGH!”

Without thinking too much about it, you kicked his crotch making him drop the knife almost immediately. You heard it clinck against the tiles on the floor and rushed to grabbed it but the hunter had reluctantly moved one of his hands away from his crotch you wrap it around your leg, pulling it and making you fall face first onto the floor.

“Fucking bitch” 

He growled pulling you closer to him but you kicked his face so hard that you swore you had felt the way his nose broke against your shoe. You couldn’t help but wince a little, truly disliking the things you were doing but knowing that if you didn’t fight, Soonyoung and you wouldn’t make it out of this room alive. You crawled as fast as you could, reaching out to grab the knife when a loud thud filled your ears.

You knew the hunter was dead even before turning around since it had been the same sound that you heard when Hansol had broken the neck of another person. But again, you didn’t found fear or disgust in your chest, the only thing you could feel was relief now that Soonyoung and you were totally out of danger.

When you turned around, making sure to keep your eyes away from the corpse on the floor Joshua was standing there, eyes scanning you worriedly as Seungkwan was helping Soonyoung to get out of the bathtub. You opened your lips to say something but Joshua was quick to reach down and gently pull you up from the floor, guiding you out of the bathroom and away from the corpse.

“Get out of here, more of them are coming this way” He whispered, hands pushing you out of the room.

“What about Soonyoung?” You asked, still worried about him.

“We’ll take care of him, get out of here and hide, we’ll deal with the hunters, now go”

Running once again, you found yourself getting into unknown territory, you didn’t recognize where you were at this point and there was no objects around you could use as weapons if you were attacked again so you ended up doing the only thing you could do at this point.

Keep moving until you got somewhere familiar.

At some point you heard people struggling, fighting for the lifes, you recognized the voices that belonged to Minghao and Seokmin undoubtedly but the sound of bones breaking and corpses falling to the ground told you they weren’t in need of help.

Your steps stuttered when you reached what seemed to be the main doors. They were opened wide, probably from when the hunters had barged into the mansion surprising everybody. Your heart was racing, pounding against your ribcage as you looked at the street.

The exit was there, it had been there all this time.

You just had to run out of that door and go back to your normal life, you would escape from those hunters and from the vampires that wanted you to stay with them forever. You could go back to your apartment, to the stressing city you lived in and enjoy boring job hunting, you could even consider buying a pet so you wouldn’t feel so lonely.

The solution to your problem was right in front of you.

Yet when you heard Jeonghan scream, you turned away from it.

All you saw was his body covering Chan’s injured one, they’ve been completely beaten up and were even struggling to keep their eyes opened. Jeonghan was taking all the punches but he stood still in front of his younger brother so they wouldn’t harm him anymore. 

“Disgusting, fucking monsters, die already” He kicked Jeonghan in the stomach, making him fall down onto the floor and leave Chan absolutely uncovered.

When the hunter took his gun out, your feet had started moving on their own and when your eyes met Chan’s pleading ones, you started running towards them. He didn’t want you to get closer, in fact, if he could have talked in that moment, Chan would have told you to run away from the mansion, to go back to your life in the city where you wouldn’t be in danger but the poison of the dagger that was in his side was keeping him quiet, too weak to even move his mouth.

Your fate was sealed, you weren’t letting him take Chan down.

Not him.

Not Jeonghan.

Not any of the brothers.

The next few seconds played in slow motion making them last an eternity.

“(Y/N) NO!” 

Too late. 

You jumped in front of him right after the man, the stranger that was threatening to steal the life of somebody you appreciated, pulled the trigger. His aiming was perfect and the piece of metal, mixed with whatever poison they had used in them to damage the guys more, pierced through your chest, straight to your heart.

Everything turned black. 

You were back in the darkness that had sheltered you most of these days.

As soon as you were harmed their pain was forgotten. Jeonghan stood up and broke the hunter’s neck in seconds while Chan, with the little strength he had left pulled you closer to his body.

“No, no, no, no” The young male started crying, hands cradling your pale face as he saw your blood flowing out through the hole on your shirt, tainting your shirt. He didn’t even felt hungry nor the curse appeared as he mourned your lost “Please, no, don’t take her away from me again...No….¡NO!”

Hours later, everyone was gathered in the dining room, the thirteen brothers surrounding the table you had been laying on for too much time. You should have turned already but your body was not giving any signs of the changes it should be going through.

Chan kept himself sitting besides you,your hand clutched in his as he kept whispering sweet things to you, cheering you to wake up, encouraging you to open your eyes but none of that was happening and his patient words soon turned to sad begs, sobs escaping his chest as he refused to let you go. Not again, he was not losing the love of his life again.

“Chan maybe we should-”

“SHUT UP” He roared standing up, not letting nobody touch you “She will make it, she will make it”

Just then, your eyes fluttered opened.

Right when everybody thought you wouldn’t make it, you arose from the death like a fallen angel.

Their fallen angel.

Their creation since everybody’s poison had contributed on the change.

The curse was no longer there since the old you had died to resurface in a beautiful immortal being, someone closed to perfection.

Your red eyes scanned the room confused, not understanding the tears that fell down from their eyes until Seungcheol spoke.

“Welcome (Y/N)” He said with a sweet smile, tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks “Welcome to our family baby”

#kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop smut #kpop angst #kpop vampire au #vampire au #seventeen #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen vampire au #seventee woozi #seventeen joshua #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen dk #seventeen seungkwan #seventeen minghao #seventeen ju #seventeen hoshi #seventeen dino #seventeen scoups #seventeen vernon #seventeen mingyu #seventeen wonwoo

[thisissirius]

Siri, wow, can I have Buddie with Royal AU and Soulmate AU? I love your writing!

this made me so happy! i am here for this combo ;)

blink and almost miss eddie/buck, soulmates, royalty au

Trying to escape from his bodyguards is becoming a full time job.

Lucky for Buck, he’s been doing it since he was a toddler. Bobby never learns, always puts bodyguards with too much spine on Buck duty, as if he doesn’t already know Buck hates those types. 

“it’s for your protection,” Athena always says with raised eyebrows. 

Buck gets crushed one time in a freak accident and suddenly everyone wants him kept in bubble wrap. Under wraps. Heh. 

The pier is packed with people—Buck doesn’t pick his battles as well as he evades bodyguards and press—and Buck navigates them easily. Most people don’t pay him any notice, which works for him, and he manages to hover around a couple of stalls without getting his picture splashed onto social media. 

Buck catches sight of a kid with crutches on his own, looking at the people around him. When he was a kid, fresh in the state, Buck remembers getting lost because his bodyguards have always sucked, and he knows how terrifying it can be. He can’t help himself; he jogs up to the kid. “Hey, you alright?”

The kid immediately looks up, face shifting between emotions quickly. “My dad says I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”

“And he is absolutely correct,” Buck says, trying to think of something that will help him get this kid found. 

The boy’s eyes widened. “You’re the prince.”

“Ssh,” Buck says, pressing a finger to his lips and crouching down. He doesn’t think anyone around them has heard; nobody’s immediately stopping and demanding his attention. “Let’s keep that a secret for now, okay? Think we can catch up with your school?”

There’s a moment’s hesitation. “I’m not here with my school. Ms. Ingrid takes care of me when my Daddy works. She gets mad I can’t keep up.”

Buck feels a momentary flash of anger but covers it with a grin. “Do you know if Ms. Ingrid has a phone number we can call?”

“No,” the boy says. “She doesn’t give it to me. She says I’m too stupid to remember but my dad says I’m smart.”

Buck’s chest tightens further with anger but he crouches down, gives Chris the brightest smile he can. “I think I believe your dad, buddy. Do you know if he has a number?”

“Yes,” the kid says brightly, then his face falls. “It’s in my coat and Ms. Ingrid left it in the car.”

Ms. Ingrid is definitely Buck’s least favourite person. “Well, I’m gonna call some people myself, alright? Wanna find somewhere to sit until they get here and help us find your dad?”

“Okay,” the kid says. “He’s a firefighter but I don’t know where.”

Filing the knowledge away where he’ll probably never use it, Buck finds a nearby bench and directs the kid to it. He doesn’t know the protocol for this kind of thing, and if anyone sees, they might think he’s kidnapping the kid or something. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it. “My name’s Buck.”

“I thought it was Evan,” the kid says, tilting his head back.

“My friends call me Buck,” Buck says carefully. 

The boy’s smile is blinding. “My friends call me Chris! My name’s Chris. Except when my dad’s mad or worried.”

Buck laughs gently; yeah, he knows those kinds of problems. “My dad gets like that too.”

Chris nods. “My dad says King Bobby is awesome.”

“That he is,” Buck says. He can’t wait to use that particular adjective on Bobby. “Right, let me just call for help, okay?”

Chris seems content to sit next to him on the bench, watching people go by. Buck pulls out his phone and bypasses his bodyguards, going straight for Hen. She’s managed to dig him out of several scrapes and he kinda needs her advice.

“—Why I even bother!” Hen’s yelling decreases and Buck gives Chris a funny look. Chris giggles and Buck hears Hen’s sigh. “That the kid?”

“Yep,” Buck says. “I don’t know where his chaperone is and I know people are starting to notice me. Any chance we can find this kid’s parents?”

“Just dad,” Chris adds helpfully. “Eddie Diaz, and he’s a firefighter. Mom’s dead.”

Buck’s heart lurches painfully. “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy.”

“It’s okay a lot of the time,” Chris says, though he looks a little sad. “Dad makes it more okay.”

There’s clacking from the other end of the phone and Buck tunes back into the conversation, keeping a hand on Chris’ shoulders. “Found him. I’ll call him and the cops. Please stay where you are.”

That means bodyguards. Buck rolls his eyes, but does as he’s told and waits.  

It takes about ten minutes for help to arrive in the form of Buck’s bodyguards. Bobby’s gonna be having people fired at the end of this, but Buck’s glad to have some friendly faces around. Thankfully, they don’t try to hustle him off the pier, and Buck assumes Hen’s contacted them and managed to get things under control.

Not long after, the cops arrive with an unimpressed Chim.

“What the hell?”

“Look,” Buck starts.

“No, I don’t wanna hear it,” Chim says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Cops, Buck, really?”

“It’s fine,” Buck stresses. “Whoever’s chaperoning Chris—”

“That would be me,” an unimpressed voice says. 

Chris shifts closer to Buck and whispers, “That’s Ms. Ingrid.”

“Christopher,” Ingrid says, and Buck hates her on sight. “What have I said about wandering off?”

“I didn’t,” Chris starts. 

“And lying,” Ms. Ingrid stresses. She looks at Buck—and he sees the flicker that she recognizes him—but immediately turns to the cops. “This man is kidnapping!”

“Hey now,” Buck says. 

“No he isn’t!” Chris cries. 

“I highly doubt that,” a new voice puts in.   

Buck looks up and fuck, that is one handsome man. He’s striding through the crowd, anger clear on his face, and Chris immediately perks up from behind Buck. 

“Dad!” 

The man sweeps in, hugs Christopher tightly, and Buck’s heart hammers against his chest for reasons he can’t explain. “Christopher.”

“Told you,” Chris says, looking up at Buck, and Buck can’t help laughing. He stops as soon as Chris’ dad stands, eyes narrowing. It takes a beat, two for him to realize who he’s staring at. 

“Oh shit,” he says. “Uh, I mean, your Highness.”

“Oh god, don’t,” Buck groans. “Listen, it’s—” 

“Dad,” Chris says, smiling widely, “this is Buck! He stopped me getting lost when Ms. Ingrid went ahead and—”

“I did not,” Ingrid stresses. 

Chris’ dad—Eddie, apparently—looks thunderous. “This isn’t the first time.”

Ingrid bristles, and Buck ignores Chim’s warning look to interject. “Chris was by himself,” he says, quietly when Eddie turns the full force of his gaze on him. It sends a shiver up Buck’s spine and makes him want to do whatever it’ll take to get Eddie to stay. What. The fuck. Ignoring it, Buck continues. “I didn’t know what else to do but have someone call you.”

“I appreciate it,” Eddie says.   

“Bo—your father is going to kill you,” Hen says, coming up behind Chim. Buck groans internally. Now that they’re both here, Buck’s in a world of trouble.

“It wasn’t Buck’s fault,” Chris says immediately. “He was helping me!”

Hen looks amused more than irritated, and Buck grins, knows Chris is winning her over already. Maybe she won’t eviscerate him once this is over. “Is that right?”

Chris nods. “Please don’t be mad, Ma’am. Dad says we should be grateful to people who help us.”

“Should we?” Hen says.

Chris’ dad flushes, hands on Christopher’s shoulders. “Buddy, I think we should—”

“Please don’t go,” Buck says immediately. He knows how it sounds and can feel his own cheeks heat up. “Let me sort things with the cops and then we can talk or something, I just want—”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hen and Christopher’s dad say at the same time.

Buck deflates, crouching down in front of Chris. “I’m glad we met, buddy.”

“Me too,” Chris says, looking sad. “Am I allowed to hug a prince?”

Though his bodyguards might throw a fit, Buck doesn’t give a fuck. “You absolutely are.”

Chris moves forward a step, wrapping his arms around Buck’s shoulders. Buck squeezes him gently, breathing in a scent that’s oddly familiar, though he can’t pinpoint how. When he pulls back, he gives Chris a bright smile. 

“I’m glad I met you, Christopher.”

“Me too.” Chris says. “I wish we could be friends for longer.”

Buck feels something settle in his chest, an uncomfortably tight feeling. “Yeah. But you have to do something, alright? Make sure you always keep smiling and definitely make sure to take care of your dad.” 

Chris nods and Buck doesn’t know what to make of the indecipherable look on Eddie’s face.

“This is ridiculous,” Ingrid snaps. “He doesn’t get accused of kidnapping because he’s a prince?”

“I didn’t kidnap him,” Buck puts in. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, stepping between Buck and Ingrid. “I left Chris in your care and you abused it. I won’t be paying for today’s session and you can guarantee I won’t be sending Chris to you again.”

“We have a contract,” Ingrid starts. 

“Voided,” Hen cuts in. “If you like, we can talk about it with the cops.” Placing a hand on Ingrid’s shoulder, Hen steers her away and Buck lets out a slow breath.

Eddie’s still standing in front of him looking angry and Buck wants to wipe the expression off his face. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Eddie asks, genuinely surprised. 

“You didn’t have to step in. For all you know, I could have kidnapped your kid.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie says immediately.

Buck doesn’t want to argue, he doesn’t, but his mouth is already saying, “how do you know,” before he can stop it.

There’s a strange expression on Eddie’s face, like he’s not sure himself, but he’s shaking it off. “Chris says you didn’t. I trust my son.”

“Then I’m glad I met Chris,” Buck says, smiling down at Chris, who grins. “You have a pretty awesome kid, Mr. Diaz.”

“Eddie.” Making a face, Eddie’s lips quirk up into a soft smile. “I’m only Mr. Diaz when I have to be.”

Buck laughs at that, though he doesn’t know why; it’s not particularly funny. Something about Eddie puts him instantly at ease. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Eddie.”

“You too,” Eddie says, holding his hand. 

It’s easy enough for Buck to place his hand in Eddie’s with every intent to shake it. As soon as their palms touch, Buck feels hot, his body burning from head to foot. He can’t stop staring at Eddie, who’s watching him back, mouth open, eyes wide. Buck wants to get lost in them, can’t help but move forward. Eddie meets him halfway, free hand coming up to touch Buck’s cheek. Every place they touch has Buck tingling and he breathes out a soft noise. 

Eddie moves forward, crashing his lips to Buck’s. It’s instantaneous, the build up of emotion and it rushes in, fills every part of Buck’s head until he’s dizzy with it. He’s accepting the bond, he knows, letting Eddie consume him, and Eddie’s doing the same otherwise it wouldn’t work and he—

“Uh,” he says when he wakes up.

“Idiot,” a familiar voice replies. Chim, Buck thinks, cracking open one eye. “Wake up, Princess.”

“Prince, actually,” Buck says, and his head is pounding. “What happened?”

There’s enough of a silence that Buck opens his eyes. He’s laying on the ground. Wood. Sounds of the pier rush in at the same time the memories do and he jerks up, frantically looking for Eddie. 

“I’m right here,” Eddie assures him, and there’s a hand on the back of his head. “You passed out.”

“Oops,” Buck says, and closes his eyes again. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

There’s a soft press of lips to his head. Buck tingles. Eddie breathes. “Is that normal?”

“I don’t know,” Chim says, sounding put-out. “Hen’s the soulbond expert.”

“Oh,” Buck says. “We bonded.”

Another silence.

“I don’t mind,” Buck says, groping around, satisfied when Eddie’s fingers tangle with his. 

“I’m a widower,” Eddie says gently, his voice low. When Buck opens his eyes again, trying to ignore the swirl of anxiety deep in his chest that he knows doesn’t belong to him, he can see the fear on Eddie’s face. Eddie swallows, looks over to Chris, who’s being looked after by an attentive Hen. “I have a kid and a shit ton of baggage.”

Buck knows what this is and he doesn’t like it. He leans in, forehead against Eddie’s shoulder and thankfully, Chim leaves them to it. “I don’t care.”

“Evan—” 

“Buck,” Buck says helplessly. 

Eddie sounds worried, but Buck can feel his heart pounding beneath his cheek, an emotion strong in Eddie’s mind that Buck doesn’t dare name. “Buck.”

“I get it’s a lot,” Buck says quietly. “I’m a prince and I’m—well I’m sure you know.”

“I read things,” Eddie admits, hand resting on the back of Buck’s head. He starts stroking, gently, and Buck wants it forever. “I don’t know you.”

“We can learn.” Buck doesn’t want to pull back, but he needs to look Eddie in the eye. “If you want.”

Eddie’s smile could light a thousand dark days. “Alright.”

“Good,” Buck says and leans in, kisses Eddie again. It’ll never get old, he thinks, and then looks up as the clatter of crutches on wood drags his attention away from what Eddie tastes like. 

“Buck!” Chris pauses. “Are you okay?”

“I am now, Chris,” Buck assures him. 

Chris looks at Eddie, then Buck, then back to Eddie. “Is Buck your friend, Dad?”

“I think it’s a little more complicated than that,” Hen says, looking at Buck pointedly.

“Bobby’s going to kill me,” Buck groans.

“As in King Bobby?” Eddie says, going instantly pale.

Buck nods. 

“Oh, shit, you’re a prince,” Eddie says. 

“Yeah.” Buck speaks slowly. “You know this.”

“Does this make Dad a prince too?” 

Oh. Oh shit, Buck’s going to die.   

Chim raises his eyebrows. “Oh no, neither of you are going anywhere. We’re going back to the palace to explain this.”

“Yay,” Chris cheers. 

“Awesome,” Buck says, heavy with sarcasm. 

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” Eddie replies.

Buck stares at him, feels the thrum of fear from Eddie. Beneath it is a rush of warmth, pride, and adoration. Love, Buck thinks. It’s love. “We’re gonna be fine,” he blurts, hopeful.

It takes a moment, but Eddie nods, touching Buck’s face again. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

#buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fic #911 #otp: i forgive you #fic by me #Anonymous

[thiswasinevitableid]

Hi!!!!!!!!!! I just saw your playlist for the indruck rockstar au so naturally I had to go and reread the whole entire thing in one go this morning and I just wanted to say how much I Love it and the way you write that whole scenario, especially with the way you incorporated the music lyrics??? (Especially since you wrote a bunch of those????) chefs kiss. I was wondering if you had ever written or planned out any of the sternclay that happened before this story took place because the way you described what we got of how they got together sounded so amazing and I would Die to hear their point of view. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much! I’m really proud of that fic, and it seems to have been one a lot of folks really enjoyed. And well, when you asked this, it got me thinking. So here’s a brief history of how Stern and Barclay got together in this universe. Heads up: it is NSFW

That didn’t go as planned. 

Joseph only meant to alert The Cryptids to the fact their manager was clearly skimming off the top and downplaying offers for further connections in the business before turning every ounce of charm he could muster on Barclay. He came to fuck bigfoot, not change careers. 

Now he’s packing up the second of his two suitcases, conversation with his parents still ringing in his ears. They’re not taking the fact that he’s dropping out of college to manage an up and coming, horror rock, very gay band particularly well and have tried twice to talk him out of it. Which is why he’s glad he went through all the bureaucratic steps before calling them. 

He’s never been more terrified or excited in his life. He’s sure he can do this, he’s already booked them four more gigs in a logical tour path, found a better system for making their merch, and is tracking down a promising P.R lead. It’s the close quarters that scare him the most; he’s certain he could charm Barclay for an evening, could get the others to like him enough to hang around back stage once or twice. But for months on end? What if they think he’s prissy, or too perfectionistic, or too normal?

What if Barclay hates him?

------------------------------------------------------

“I must admit, I’d have thought you would have made a move on Joseph by now.” Indrid says before pulling a sweater on over his head. It gets caught on his glasses, and he flails until Barclay helps it the rest of the way down. They’re somewhere south of Madison, the van cutting a lonely path down the dark road; it’s so late, and they’re on one of those vast, distinctly midwestern stretches where there’s nothing but night sky and fields. Jake drives, tapping the wheel in time with the radio while Joseph sleeps in the passenger seat and Vincent sprawls on the far back one.

“Kinda weird to hit on your manager, right?” Barclay peers warily around the passenger seat to be double sure the manager in question isn’t listening. He isn’t, lips parted slightly and dark hair falling in his face as his sleeping body is tilted this way and that by the motion of the car. 

“Not when the manager looks like that and has already broadcasted his eagerness to fuck you.”

Barclay can’t really argue that first point; Joseph walked into that sorry excuse for a dressing room looking like centerfold come to life. There’s a certain kind of fan of theirs who spends their daily life buttoned up and following the rules, and Joseph struck him as exactly that kind of self-repressing, well groomed gym bunny. They’re always the most fun fans to fuck, in his experience. Couple that with the fact Joseph was (is) hot and willing, Barclay would have happily called dibs on the van for an hour to fuck him senseless that first night. But now…

“I dunno, he hasn’t really flirted with me since we met. And even then he didn’t flirt much.”

“The lecture on Haye’s deficits did start about two seconds after he entered the room.”

“Yeah” Barclay sighs fondly at the memory, “maybe he’s just not interested now that he’s seen me offstage.”

“Or maybe you’re both acting from the same vein of professionalism. Which is not terribly punk rock.”

“I’m being myself” Barclay grumbles “that’s-”

“The most punk rock thing you can be.” Indrid finishes, nodding sagely. Then he smirks, “but that doesn’t change the fact Joseph wants to get into those leather pants of yours. Why do you think he keeps recommending the stage outfits that involve them?”

“Hey, I like that look too. It’s my idea as much as it’s his.”

“Mmmmhmm.” Indrid yawns, rests his head on Barclay’s shoulder.  Then he sings in his ear “Baby you got the clothes, baby he’s got the romance, you’ve got the moves so while you’ve got the chance, you wanna get in his pants, you wanna get in his pants, you wanna-”

Barclay elbows him sideways onto the seat, making them both giggle like they’re ten and wrestling on the trampoline in his backyard. 

“Enough with the prophecies, Mothman.”

“That was hardly a prophecy.” Indrid sticks his legs into Barclays laugh, “but very well. I will leave you to pine for as long as you please.”

Barclay spares another glance towards the front of the car.

“I’m not pining. I just want him to like me.”

A snore in reply, Indrid out with his arms sprawled in different directions. Barclay chuckles softly, roots around for one of their two pillows, and settles his head against the window. He doesn’t shut his eyes right away; instead he watches the lights of distant houses and stars race past, melding into the reflection of Joseph’s sleeping face.

------------------------------------

“I bought us ten more minutes, I cannot believe they didn’t warn us this was a double appearance. I’ll-” Joseph finishes shutting the van door and promptly grips it so hard it leaves an indent in his palm. 

The band is in various states of rapid undress, trying to get back into their first set of outfits, and smack in the center of the tableau is Barclay, naked from the waist down.

“-I’ll be more thorough going, um, going forward. See you all backstage.” 

He can’t scramble out of the vehicle fast enough, finds one of the two functioning bathrooms in the place and locks himself in without a second thought. Leans against the graffiti coated door and shoves his hand down pants, a little embarrassed at how turned on he is just from one peek at Barclay’s dick. That doesn’t stop him from picturing it as he shoves two fingers into himself and jacks off like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. The smell of two kinds of smoke, the half dead bulb, the din of the crowd gathering in the building all make him harder; he’s so desperately horny for his bassist he’ll make himself cum in a shitty dive bathroom. The thought has him moaning, and he covers his mouth with his free hand as he cums. 

With a much clearer head, he washes his hands and leaves to round up his band. It’s better this way, better for him to get off alone than put Barclay in a weird position by his manager coming onto him. That’d be weird for everyone; this way is much easier.

Ten minutes later, standing in the shadowy steps and watching The Cryptids perform, Barclay growling and sweat-soaked, giving Indrid a messy, open-mouthed kiss when the singer initiates it, he knows it won’t be easy at all.

---------------------------------------------------------

They’ve done it; Joseph helped the others successfully sign with Amnesty Records, securing them a re-release of their first album at higher quality and with wider distribution, a massive U.S tour, and more money up front than any of them have ever seen. Amnesty sees promise in them, and Barclay knows they can deliver. They celebrated for two nights solid, and now reality sets in; Indrid is locked in a hotel room, writing like he’s possessed by the ghost of several rockstars at once, Vincent and Jake are trying to find places to live now that they’re based in Atlanta, and Barclay…

Barclay is standing in a half-furnished apartment that doesn’t belong to him. It belongs to Joseph, currently hopping on and off the phone while Barclay waits for dinner to arrive. In a perfect world he would have just cooked, but given how Joseph’s been the last few weeks, he’s worried that gesture of intimacy might freak him out. The manager was in meetings all day and is still in his suit, a forty dollar one they bought in a strip mall at the edge of town. On him it looks like it cost a thousand dollars just for the slacks. The slacks Barclay is failing very hard at not staring at. Joseph isn’t even twenty-one, but he’s been working deals like a pro, and it is the hottest fucking thing Barclay has ever seen. 

He tries distracting himself from his unhelpful gay thoughts via distressing images. All he comes up with is having to steal Indrid’s phone from him after the singer called his family for the first time in almost three years. Whether that was to deliver a final fuck you or toss a hail Mary of reconciliation their way, Barclay isn’t sure. All he knows is he watched Indrid’s face take a turn, old hurts smothering the spark in his eyes, and he took the phone away while someone yelled on the other end of it. 

“How are your parents taking it?” Joseph looks up from the laptop on the kitchen table where he’s entering dates into a calendar. 

Barclay smiles, “Good. Pretty sure they’ve told everyone in the family the good news. Alice can get a chain email out like nobody’s business. They say they love me and are proud of me and that I have to promise to still come home for Christmas every now and then.”

Joseph smiles back, open for a moment before a guard slips back up. Barclay tucks his hands in his pockets, psyching himself up. He has to do this. He has to know.

“Have I, like, made you angry or something? You’ve just been standoffish lately.” 

“Working out everything for the contract has been so stressful I’m not sure anyone but the execs have seen much of me.” The answer is well-rehearsed. 

“Oh.” Barclay nods, hands still in his pockets and shoulders slouched. 

“And, um, and they haven’t gone away. My feelings for you.” This answer is far quieter, the other man looking up from the screen with fearful eyes. 

“That’s a...bad thing? But I, uh, I, like you too. I like so fucking much.”

A little puff of laughter, “I can tell. Believe me, I can. It’s just that being your manager is different than being a random fan looking for a hook-up; I might  want something you’re not ready to give, or vice versa, and if we rush into things it could fuck up everything you guys worked for. Everything we worked for.”

Barclay cautiously steps forward, “What if we took things slow? Like, really slow.”

Hope sneaks into the corners of Joseph’s eyes, “What would that look like?”

“Like we go step by step, with first dates and like, hand holding and shit. We can take as long as we want; I mean, unless you’re planning on ditching the next big thing in the music world, think we’re gonna have plenty of time to spend together.”

“I like the sound of that.” 

Barclay circles the table as Joseph stands. He cups his cheek, running his thumb up his cheekbone.

“Hey.”

“Hi” Joseph’s eyes have taken on a distinctly Bambi-ish shape. 

“You wanna go get dinner tomorrow?”

The other man loops his arms around his shoulders, “Absolutely.”

Their first kiss comes less than twenty four hours; they may be taking it slow, but there’s only so much two men who’ve been pining in the confines of a van for months can take. It’s soft and popcorn scented and Joseph holds his hand the entire time. 

---------------------------------------------

Joseph waits in the dressing room, ears ringing from the sound system and the screaming crowd. It’s the first time The Cryptids have played any sort of true arena, and they sold out the show a week in advance. 

Barclay clomps into the room in his combat boots, grinning as soon as he sees him. He’s dripping with sweat, his eyeliner is a little smudged, and even though he isn’t the lead vocalist, he has enough backing vocals that his voice is a touch raw when he speaks. 

“Fuck that was fun.”

“You all did so well. I, this is going to sound corny, but I’m so proud of you.”

“Should be proud of yourself too, babe. Without you, we’d probably still be playing no-name bars in Des Moines or Fresno.”

“Managing is easy when the talent’s this good.” He runs his hands up Barclays’ fishnet-clad chest. 

“Take the compliment, blue eyes.”

High on pride and the knowledge that at least a third of the crowd would commit a felony to take his place, Joseph pinches Barclay’s left nipple, “No.”

Barclay growls, grabbing his lapels and yanking him into a salty, toothy kiss. He moans in reply, drops his hands down to undo Barclay’s fly so he can grind against him, feel him getting hard through his dress pants. 

“You really wanna do that here, babe? Don’t wanna make our first time all soft sheets and candlelight?” Barclay rubs the top button of Joseph’s shirt between his thumb and finger. 

“Yes, I want you and I want you now” 

Barclay lunges, shoving him back until his ass hits the dressing room table.

“Fine” he grunts, getting his cock out while Joseph kicks one leg free of his pants, “can’t take a compliment, gonna take something else.”

“OHmylord, fuck, fucking finally.” He thunks his head back against the mirror as Barclay sets a ferocious tempo. 

“Shit, you feel even better than I thought you would, and I’ve been, fuck, thinking about it for a long fucking time. Ever since you walked into that shitty dressing room in those tight shorts and shirt with my name on it.”

“Nnhng” He spreads his legs wider at the memory.

“Oh you fucking like that, don’t you babe? That why you wanted to do this here? So I could treat you like the horny fucking fanboy you really are?”

“Yes, ohmylord, yes, yes.” He can’t feel anything but the points where they connect, can’t hear anything beyond Barclay’s growls in his ear and the slap of skin on skin.

“Fuck” Barclay pulls his hair with one hand, shoves his knee further up with the other, “shoulda known, even with that fancy suit all you wanna be is my fucking toy.” It’s a snarl, the hottest sound he’s ever heard and he drags Barclay into another kiss, amazed that he feels close to cumming already. 

Knockknock.

Barclay turns his head towards the door, Joseph muffling his panting breath in his shoulder. 

“Uh, who is it?”

“Mothman. The winners of that drawing are back here to meet us.”

“Shit” Joseph hisses, starting to sit up only for strong hands to trap him in place. 

“Cool. Uh, gimme like” Barclay looks down to where his cock is buried into Joseph, “three minutes?”

The smile in Indrid’s voice is unmistakable, “Of course. I still need to find Vincent. See you soon.”

“Three minutes seems optimisticAH, ohgod” He holds on for dear life as Barclay fucks him with sharp, deep thrusts. A calloused hand finds his dick and Joseph bites down on a broad shoulder to keep from alerting everyone in the vicinity to his impending orgasm. 

“That’s it babe, cum for me, cum on my cock in a backroom like the horny, needy thing you are.” Barclay stills his hips, hand working with slick, messy movements until Joseph cums. He doesn’t wait for him to finish all the way before slamming into him for ten of the best seconds of Stern’s life and cumming with a deep moan. 

“Fucking-A that was good.”

“Good is an understatement.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too.”

A kiss on the head as Barclay helps him onto the ground, a flurry of putting their clothes into a rough approximation of order. Then Barclay kisses him again as Joseph strokes his hair. 

“Offer of soft sheets and candlelight still stands.” 

Joseph holds him tighter, smiling against his neck, “I guess we know what we’re doing tomorrow night.”

----------------------------------------------------

It’s the last day of recording the tracks for “Blood on the Mirror” and the mood is bittersweet. After this, there’s one more tour and then The Cryptids go their separate ways. It was time, everyone but Indrid and Jake ready to move on to other projects, and Joseph is already on board to manage Indrid’s solo career (“I’d trust it to no one else, Joseph. I mean it”). All the same, when the final track is deemed done, everyone applauds and embraces like they’re going off to war. 

He heads down to his office to finish reading over venue contracts while the band packs up, but he only gets through one before Barclay appears. 

“Hey, blue eyes.”

“Hi, Bigfoot.” Joseph stands and comes to the door to kiss him, “are you already set to go home.”

“More or less” Barclay rubs his arm, his most consistent anxiety tell, “uh, there’s just one thing I gotta ask before we leave.”

Hushed voices down the hall, but no one there when Joseph looks behind him to check. When he turns back, his hands fly up to cover his mouth. Barclay is down on one knee.

“I, uh, I know this might not be the most, uh, traditional spot to do this but it feels right. I’ve just been thinking about how a huge chapter of my life is coming to a close and there’s this whole new, exciting, terrifying blank page where I have to write the next one. And I, I realized that I want you to be in that chapter with me, and the next one, and the one after that. So, uh, what I want to know is: Joseph Stern, will you marry me?”

He nods, not trusting his voice to come out with intelligible words. 

“Oh thank god.” Barclay springs up, cupping his face and spinning him in a kiss. Joseph laughs as whooping cheers echo towards them. Indrid, Jake, and Vincent, are peering around the nearest corner, beaming.

“Indrid is for sure going to say I told you so the second he gets me alone” Barclay chuckles, “I was so afraid you’d say no because things will be kind of up in the air for the next few years.”

Joseph turns his face back towards him, “You’re right, they will. But I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend them with.”

#agent stern/barclay #sternclay #rockstar au #TAZ amnesty

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Pacific Rim 3

I outline the plot of Pacific Rim 3 as experienced by me in a waking fever dream before and during today's 4am shift as a way to distract myself from real life stress with imaginary stress, written in breaks during work and in the parking lot before driving home because I'm going back to sleep when I get there and I want to preserve this fever dream first before I lose the details of it,

Ok I've been here for 3 hours and I don't know how to do a read more link on mobile I'm sorry you're getting this as is whether you want it or not I need to sleep goodbye

Dr. Gottlieb and Liwen are working on building their own portal to the Precursors to beat them up once and for all

Jake is seen giving an inspiring speech to a new wave of cadets who've been training with the old ones, now fully realized Jaeger pilots. Amara is everyone's favorite instructor.

Jake is very imposing and military and inspiring. Jake is everything the kids need him to be. Jake slips away from the party early and tears off his uniform before disappearing down a side street in his civilian clothes

Nate has the visible emotional human reaction of milk curdling and goes after him

Dr. Gottlieb and Liwen Shao are talking to someone about how they're making progress on the rift but they need help. Someone in particular who knows about alien tech. He's coming in on the next flight, actually. The person they're explaining this to gives a disbelieving "no..."

NEWTON

Wakes up in his house in the middle of fuckass nowhere. Somewhere away from technology he could theoretically use For Evil, or people he could theoretically hurt. This is, however, a self-imposed isolation, as he seems to have been granted his freedom, conditionally.

We see his morning routine, featuring normal stuff like making coffee, panic attack in the shower ft. indistinct memories of the Precursors, taking a massive dose of PPDC-granted experimental medication, starting the car, another indistinct alien trauma flashback, listening to the radio on the way to the airport where people appear to recognize him and he low-key has a panic attack because oh God everyone knows what I did

Jake leaves the bar and runs into Nate, who gives him the old Argh Argh Responsibility And Pride talk and Jake is like yeah man I know shut up

They have a fistfight in the rain and the neon lights in the alley outside the bar

No one properly wins because they've drifted so many times and they can predict each other's attacks but they both land a few and take a few, Jake gets hit a bit more because he's drunk

They both end up just sitting in the rain feeling sorry for themselves

Nate: Jules proposed to her girlfriend.

Jake: I know

Nate: they're getting married.

Jake: yeah that usually happens when someone proposes

So Jules wasn't going to end up with either of them and they're both sad about it. Nate suddenly suggests they go back in the bar. He'll buy Jake a drink to make up for beating him up. Jake is like ok sure but the drink's gonna be soda because I was LEAVING the bar because I was ALREADY drunk

They share a Soda Of Angst at the bar and talk about how they're gonna die alone. Jake says "at least we've got each other" and it's impossible to tell if he's joking. Nate is like "you know what this place isn't that bad we should come back sometime."

Newton reaches the lab. He is terrified of Liwen and awkward around Hermann. He instinctively calls Liwen "boss" and she reminds him matter-of-factly that they're working as equals now, "since you ruined my life's work."

Hermann asks how the medication is working and Newton indicates that it works fine but he still gets anxiety about it not being enough. Hermann promises him it's been proven effective, thus why the PPDC let him out of his crimes against humanity iron cell of shame. It's revealed that what they're giving him is a stronger dose of a medication originally developed for burned-out Jaeger pilots with unmanageable symptoms, and that it blocks out memories related to the drift--and since this is how the Precursors were reaching him, this works to block out their influence. The cost is that Newton doesn't remember much of anything past building his own neural bridge. He knows it happened but the details won't load. He's constantly worrying that it's not enough, that the Precursors will come back, and is taking a dangerously high dose that gives him constant hand tremors and worse insomnia than usual.

The first time he and Hermann are left alone they have an uncomfortable attempt at talking which gradually turns into an argument about nothing in particular. Newt keeps calling him Hermann but it sounds Wrong and Hermann hasn't been allowing people to just use his first name here and he finally snaps at Newton to stop it and he's like "oh my God I can't call you your NAME? what the hell am I supposed to call you??"

Newt says something angsty and Hermann says something like 'yes well the nicest thing that ever happened to me was drifting with a dead and decaying piece of kaiju viscera' and he says it sardonically but he's serious

Newt doesn't remember any context for the time they drifted.

Newt assumes he's being maliciously sarcastic and starts SCREAMING at him

Hermann just looks at him in shock at first then just lets him go for a little while

Eventually shutting his mouth by jabbing him under the chin with his cane and saying, very quietly and coldly, "get out of my lab"

Newton gets out of the lab

Newton runs into Nate and Jake at The Angst Bar and they recognize him but he has no idea who they are but he's willing to just roll with it at this point and asks them if they know Hermann well enough to give him advice

"like that was sarcasm right? I'm pretty sure he was making fun of me but now I'm less sure idk"

Nate's: no he's immune to sarcasm

Jake: yeah it's kinda funny

Nate: *the gaze*

Jake: I mean, nothing wrong with that, but yeah if he was being sarcastic that'd be first time it's happened as far as I can tell

Newt: are. Are you telling me. That someone actually. For some reason. Offered me a sincere compliment. And. I yelled at him

Jake: that's your call, I mean, you know him better than us, right? You guys were friends right?

Newton, who doesn't remember any of these people:

Nate: I mean I wasn't there, only way to tell is to go back and ask him

Newt: aaaaaaa

Newton goes back and Liwen is like "hey I've got no idea what's going on here but can you weirdos just act normal for two seconds so we can get some work done" and Hermann and Newt both just kinda. Laser focus on rift stuff

Remember the guy with the "no why would you involve Newton"reaction? No because he's but important and has no name or real identity? Yeah ok every Pacific Rim movie needs one Designated Douchebag to cause Interpersonal Drama and this guy is it. I'll call him DD for short

DD shows up and is like oh my God you actually turned Newton loose in the lab?? Why would you do this we're all going to die

Everyone just ignores him

Designated Douchebag has the self-importance of a high elf and the confidence of a fucking walnut and doesn't like being ignored

And starts talking directly to Newton, which really freaks Newton out but he continues pretending to ignore him

DD: so you're safe now? Not going to start speaking alien gibberish?

Newton: don't plan on it

Hermann, without turning around: DD you may not like to hear this but it was never your business who we brought in to assist, we don't need your permission, and complaining about Newton now that he's already here is certainly not going to do any good.

DD: alright fine but you'd better keep a close eye on him.

DD: anyways Newton tell your girlfriend I said hi

Newton, blank: who?

DD: you know, Alice?

Newton's face registers several emotions as he grapples with a name from the buried memories-confusion, disgust, terror-mostly shock

There is an abrupt cut

Liwen, thinking her two colleagues were acclimated to each other enough to allow her to leave the room and get tea without disaster, is walking back down the hallway talking with a lab tech when they hear the sound of something breaking

A moment later the doors to the lab are flung open and DD is forcibly ejected, collapsing on the floor in front of them. Dr. Gottlieb exits the lab behind him, holding his cane like a cricket bat. There is a muffled sound of Newton yelling OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

Liwen backs out of range of cane damage and sips her tea, mildly intrigued. The lab tech starts to run for help and nearly crashes into Nate and Jake, who came running to see what the yelling was about.

Nate: what is--

Dr. Gottlieb, panting with restrained bloodlust: HELLO SIRS GOOD TO SEE YOU I BELIEVE THERE'S BEEN A SECURITY BREACH BECAUSE THIS FELLOW HAS JUST BEEN CASUALLY CHATTING ABOUT RESTRICTED CLASS-J49 INFORMATION PLEASE LOCK HIM UP

DD: it's COMMON KNOWLEDGE and he ATTACKED me

Dr. Gottlieb: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID SIR!! *He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wipes some blood off the handle of his cane*

Nate: WHAT is happening

Newton: *trying to have a quiet hysterical laughter meltdown in the lab before anyone remembers he's there*

Anyways next plot point. An alien shows up

Not a Precursor! A nice alien

Listen if PR:U gets to pull all that bullshit with Mt Fuji I'm allowed to add aliens okay

Hermann should have a nice non-genocidal alien friend I think he deserves it

Anyways the alien is clearly a different species than the Precursors (or Kaiju) and seems friendly but they can't communicate with it, the linguistics team is working on it but it's going to take A Lot of Work

Hermann goes "hm I've got a quicker and more accurate option"and wheels out the drift interface

This alien's mind doesn't link well with human minds but Hermann is a pro and powers through

He gets seasick and throws up and finally comes out shaky with a bloody nose and eye but he's managed to communicate!

The alien is a diplomat from another world the Precursors attempted to colonize, they survived because the Precursors underestimated the humans' resilience and spread themselves too thin, trying to invade earth and the alien homeworld at the same time and then getting distracted dealing with the humans, which left the aliens time to prepare their defense

They're here to help with the war effort, they don't have a lot that's relevant to current human scientific understanding but they can help fill in some of the gaps in the human's knowledge about rifts

They're making progress! Yay!

Things are getting serious, training montage Jake and Nate and the new pilots getting ready to kick ass

Newton finally brings himself to apologize to Hermann and explain he was confused but the net progress here is still zero because then they immediately have ANOTHER argument

Hermann has started writing his notes in the alien's language, he wants to make sure he can remember it well enough to help the linguistics team, and it's also beautifully precise and he just loves it and loves that he's able to write it, come on who wouldn't be proud of being the first contact human

Newton sees a bunch of notes of Alien Gibberish (to him) and gets Bad Vibes

Newton doesn't think they can trust the alien, Hermann does but his proof is mainly "I can tell because I drifted with them" and Newton 1. Doesn't remember what that's like and 2. DOES remember that the last time he thought it was a good idea to drift with an alien he ended up nearly killing literally everyone on earth

They yell at each other some more

At some point Hermann tries to deescalate and asks why they can't be friends again and Newton, still yelling, says "people keep acting like we're friends and I don't remember it! As far as I'm concerned this is all we ever had! I barely remember you at all and what I do remember is that we hated each other!"

Hermann: ....I never hated you. .. alright, colleagues, then? We've got a rift to build

Newton, still hyperventilating slightly: ok ok yeah sure yeah

Interlude: Jules gets married!

She asks Hermann to walk her down the aisle (where she meets her wife, who walked down the opposite aisle to meet in the middle)

Newton, protesting "I don't know I don't feel like I should be here," is physically dragged into the venue by Liwen, who is telling him that this is a diplomatic event it's his duty to be at.

She drags him over to Hermann and settles between them, soaking in the chaotic gay science panic vibes

She seems to be enjoying herself

Jules sees Hermann in the audience and an evil gleam comes into her eye

She has a strong arm

She hurls her bouquet directly at his face

Hermann ducks, panic granting him lightning quick reflexes

The bouquet, travelling at about Mach 5, zooms past him and hits Jake Pentecost squarely in the nose

He inhales several petals of baby's breath and gets slapped in the eyelid by a vine and goes into a dramatic coughing fit. Nate pounds him on the back.

Alien, speaking through a translating device they've got set up (it isn't perfect but it works on a basic level mostly): is it bad luck to touch the flowers?

Hermann, still slightly panicked from the near miss: no it's ahh, there's this silly tradition that whoever catches the bouquet is likely to get married next, and ah, as you see there, sometimes a bride with a sense of humor will, err, intentionally aim it at someone who, uh, didn't necessarily want it?

Alien: I think I understand. My sibling often tells me to go the southern hills of ^°^=^^°^°^^°°= to find a mate, though I have told them many times that I have no such desire.

Nate and Jake are like "ok neither of us have a date I guess we're drinking our sorrows away together at the reception" and do that

And maybe make out a little bit

Neither of them is ready to deal with Feelings so they both just blame it on the alcohol and try not to think about it too hard

Newton, venting @ someone, explains that there's an empty space in his memory where he knows that that something about Hermann is supposed to go and it doesn't feel like the other, worse memories he's blocked out, it feels like he lost something precious, but he has no idea what that is

Hermann tells Newton he's been working on a device that might block out the Precursors' influence without affecting his memory, so he can use all of his knowledge. And so he isn't constantly so confused about who he does and doesn't know but he doesn't say that part

It connects to his skin a bit like a drift interface

Newton is terrified but enthusiastic about maybe being Less Confused All the Time

The fact that he is guarded by a full security detail to make sure he doesn't Become Evil Again the whole time he's going off his meds really doesn't help the stress much

Memories start coming back but they're confused and jumbled and at first he's not much better off

The Precursor nightmares are about what he expected but he keeps hearing Hermann's voice in there too and he's not sure why and he can't remember when he heard it like that

Meanwhile Hermann keeps needing to drift with the alien to clarify important details about the rift that they don't know how to translate into human terms, but it fucks him up a little bit more each time he does it until the last time he passes out for like at hour and wakes up disoriented with a nosebleed that just won't stop and Jake orders him to stop drifting

He's ok with that because they've got the information they needed anyway!

IT'S TIME, THEY'RE SENDING THE JAEGERS INTO THE RIFT

Newton, despite his misgivings, reluctantly joins Liwen, dr. Gottlieb and the alien in command to supervise the mission, still wearing the device and getting random bursts of confused memory

Jake and Nate are piloting the Lady Avenger (did u know gypsy is a slur and they prefer to be called Romani) and go though first and start punching Precursors and their bodyguard Kaiju

Newton goes very still and just stares at Hermann for like a solid minute while he's trying to work, his expression shifting to something new

Hermann, softly: what?

Newton, smiling: I remember you.

Hermann, furiously trying to interpret alien data: is this really the best time??

It's a close fight across the rift, the Precursors are on their home turf and the Jaegers are not, fighting in a bizarre low-gravity environment that doesn't really have floors

Their base is set up differently than expected and Hermann decides he needs to check something with the alien. By drifting with them. He's still bleeding uncontrollably after the last stunt that got him banned but he's determined to do it because It's Necessary

Newton takes the headset from him and puts it on instead

It feels Bad

But then he sees another planet, beautiful, so different from his own yet so similar. He sees aliens attacked by monsters from the deep, responding more or less how the humans had, moving inland, building useless walls, building their own monsters for defense. He sees the alien diplomat losing friends and family.

He sees the journey to earth, and drifting with Hermann. He sees the alien's memories of Hermann, and Hermann's memories in the drift. He sees how Hermann remembers him. What he forgot. What the Precursors had blinded him to.

He doesn't have time to think about it because he's feverishly trying to translate the knowledge he's receiving into data that works with their human technology so they can help the Jaegers and there's blood dripping from his face onto the controls but it's there, in the back of his mind, he knows now. Hermann missed him.

The Lady Avenger is hit and Jake is knocked unconscious. They begin to drift downwards as Nate, unable to move the Jaeger alone, yells at Jake with no response

Newton disconnects from the drift, nearly blacks out, and has to sit down for a minute. When he comes back around he sees the Jaegers are in trouble--none completely disabled yet, but they need more help

Newton has an idea

Newton: ok I'm gonna do something stupid. *To his security detail* listen I need you to aim your guns at me and shoot if you think I'm out of control

Liwen, with zero hesitation, reacting quicker than anyone else in the room, pulls out a gun and sticks it right in his face

Newton: see, yeah, that's what I was saying, like that. Thanks boss, glad someone here's got guts.

Liwen: not your boss

Newton: I kinda like saying it tho

Liwen: hm. I'll allow it.

Newton: ok. Hermann--uh

Hermann, hearing his name said right this time: it's ok

Newton: :) ok cool I'm going to deactivate the blocking device I need you to turn it back on as soon as I squeeze your hand, can you do that

Hermann: absolutely.

The Precursors are a hive mind. In battle, when pressed, they can force their thoughts outwards, confusing and scrambling the communications of other species while keeping in contact with each other. This is going well and normal until there's an unexpected distortion which resolves into Newton's voice

Yelling WHAT'S UP MOTHERFUCKERS I'M BACK

(epic Tom Morello riff)

Newton can't keep the connection open for more than a few seconds before they start to overwhelm him, Hermann pulls him back. It was enough to confuse the Precursors and give the jaegers an advantage.

During the delay, Jake wakes up. He's disoriented and in pain and so is Nate, still linked to him, but they can move again. They one-hit-k/o the Precursor that was creeping up on them, turn around, and realize they've drifted almost right into the reactor they've been looking for

So they blow it up

Hermann is still holding Newton's hand as everyone else celebrates. He looks at Newton for confirmation, who nods in relief.

"they're gone. Well, those ones are, anyway."

Humans start opening rifts across the galaxy to kick Precursor ass across multiple star systems

(epic Tom Morello riff intensifies)

Humans team up with multiple alien races previously menaced by the Precursors to take out their common enemy. Jaeger tech is combined with alien science, humans and aliens drifting

They figure out how to use a recording of Newton's Precursor-influenced brainwaves as a weapon to confuse them

So basically Newton makes a recording of himself screaming at the Precursors that's weaponized by teams across the galaxy and it's incredibly cathartic

Jake, in a hospital, is woken up by an infuriating snoring noise. Nate is sleeping in a chair by his bed. He's both annoyed and touched. Mostly the latter.

Hermann writes a book in what is now his third language, the alien script precise and beautiful

We see Newton and Hermann getting dressed together for an Important Event, they're both complaining about having to go but seem not to mind too much. Newton ties his tie too loose, like in the good old days. Hermann fixes it for him.

No one died

The free peoples of the galaxy took down the Precursors with no casualties and the power of screaming

#personal (ok to rb) #pacific rim #what to tag as #headcanons #fanfiction #sorta #humor #extended fever dream that wouldn't let me rest #EVERYONE'S GAY AND NO ONE DIED

[threeletterslife]

04 | Redefining Destiny

→ previous | next

→ summary: You were convinced you were in love with him. A former member of the mafia in the states, that is. It was true love. Destiny. Until one day you wake up with a memory lapse; then that love is replaced with hatred. The thought of marriage is substituted with revenge. If your love with Jeon Jungkook really was destiny, you’d fall head over heels in love again. But if only he weren’t such a hot, goading asshole.

→ pairing/rating: jungkook x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 70% fluff, 25% crack, 5% angst | e2l!au & soulmate!au

→ warnings: profanity

→ wordcount: 2.8k

Maybe you should really get your stomach checked out because you've been waking up in the middle of the night or early dawn for three consecutive days now. Mornings aren't looking so pretty (though they never really have been for you). But still.

You obviously weren't in pain. You hadn't changed any part of your lifestyle. You were healthy—the last time you checked. So why on Earth have you been waking up arbitrarily when you were supposed to get your rest?? Your little night-owl phase is literally making you late everywhere.

This is actually the fourth time you've been late to your ethics class—the other three times had been because 1) you'd lost your way in the campus 2) you were charging your dead laptop 3) you were late from a last-minute coffee run.

You quickly slip into the lecture room an embarrassing eighteen minutes late, praying to the Heavens that your professor wouldn't mind too much. But once your eyes scan across the room, you realize you have other problems than your professor scolding you for being tardy; the class seems absolutely filled.

You'd be lucky to sit on the floor at this point!

Sighing, you awkwardly fidget in the back of the room, squinting your eyes to find any empty seats. Usually, you'd take a seat in the front somewhere, but the front row is completely filled, which leaves you to reside in other options. Your heart leaps with joy when you finally catch sight of an empty seat near the back corner of the room. Without a second thought, you make a beeline towards it, pushing the chair out and nearly collapsing into it. Yes! you think, I've claimed it!

But your victory is short-lived. The moment you turn around, you see what you don't want to see only seven minutes after waking up: Jeon Jungkook. Why him?? Why on Earth is it always him??? Your face scrunches habitually and you let out a small, "Ugh."

"Ugh, to you too," Jungkook whispers. "Another rough night?"

"Whatever Mr. Dark Circles," you retort. You're not even going to bother mentioning to Jungkook about your crazy sleep cycle at this point—he wouldn't care either. "Um, did I miss anything?" you ask awkwardly, slipping your laptop out of your backpack and opening the screen. 78%. Thank goodness. Other than the fact you were late to lecture this morning and you were sitting next to your nemesis, this morning seems to be kind to you.

"Of course you missed a lot," Jungkook whispers. "Shut up. I'm trying to listen." He stares straight ahead, ignoring your presence as he pretends to pay attention to your professor who's been oblivious to your and Jungkook's everyday morning banter as usual.

"Fine," you mutter. Don't know what I expected from him. "Rude."

You can get the notes from another person in your study group, you suppose. So you try to shift comfortably in your seat, opening up your document of accumulated lecture notes as you begin to type away on your laptop.

But the next thing you know, someone's tapping on your shoulder and you jump awake. "Huh?" you cry, rubbing your eyes and looking around the lecture room. Oh, shoot. Students are beginning to file out of the heavy double doors, which makes you gasp. You'd fallen asleep during the lecture. That's literally unheard of. The few minutes of missed sleep must be getting to you.

You turn appreciatively to the person who'd woken you up and spared you the embarrassment of your professor, for goodness sake, shaking you awake from the back of his classroom. But you frown when you realize that person is Jungkook.

"You shouldn't even have come to class if you were just gonna snore," he tells you rudely, swinging his own, sleek black backpack over his shoulder.

"I do not snore!" you retort though you do actually have a serious habit of snoring when you're just the slightest bit fatigued. "You know what Jeon? You can go screw yourself if you're just gonna be so mean."

"Huh," Jungkook says, cocking his head so that a bit of his soft, wavy hair falls over his eyes. "I was going to give you the notes, but now I guess I'll have to go fuck myself."

Your eyes turn wide as you stand up from your chair. "Wait—"

"Bye, Y/N!" Jungkook grins as he leaves you stranded and ultimately note-less.

"Fine!" you yell after him. "I don't need your notes anyway!"

It was insane how much he managed to get on your nerves. No matter how many sleepless nights you prayed to God to show you just a sliver of forgiveness for Jeon Jungkook, that boy would just waltz into your life again and mess up everything. It was no use. You'll always dislike Jeon Jungkook for being a complete and utter jerk.

"Maybe it's God's way of guiding me to forgive him?" you say, running a hand through your messy, unbrushed hair. "I mean, there's no other reason we're always, somehow always meeting!"

"Or fate really fucking hates you," Yoojung laughs.

"Or it's just rotten luck, Y/N," Chayoung says.

"Just when I thought he was a changed man, you know, offering me the notes that I missed, he literally said sike and left me stranded," you groan.

"He's an asshole," Chayoung says. "Don't associate yourself with him because it's giving you stress. Honey, you have dark circles under your eyes!"

"I haven't been getting a goodnight's rest," you sigh. "It's not even insomnia, though! I just wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, but if I wait it out, I fall asleep again."

"Maybe you're nervous about something," Chayoung says. "Maybe your body's telling you that you're too tense."

"Or you're dying and you need to get this condition checked out," Yoojung says.

You laugh. "That's most definitely not it, Yoojung. Ugh, whatever," you sigh, shaking your head as your roommates look sympathetically at you. "We're still down for the flower festival, right?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world!" Chayoung yells. "Did you know they're gonna bring Kevin Kang?? He's gonna sing! And dance!!!"

"God, I'm exploding just thinking about him!" Yoojung squeals.

"We're going for the flowers, not the celebrity," you giggle.

"WAIT," Yoojung gasps. "Maybe you're subconsciously excited about the flower festival!"

"And that's why you're waking up during the night!" Chayoung exclaims.

You hum, thinking to yourself. There was really no other reason to blame your hideous sleep schedule on. So you shrug. "There's only one way to find out," you say with a grin.

The flower festival has always been one of your favorite parts of studying at your university. Annually, the flower vendors all around the country come to show off their beautiful creations, showcasing them in bouquets, wreaths and flower crowns.

But you like flowers the best when they're in their natural state. Either when they're sprouting from the ground with their roots strongly planted in the soil or when you receive just one flower—just a single stem will do. You love the flower festival because it happens in the best sunflower blossoming season, and the sunflowers were exactly why you were nearly obsessed with attending the festival.

You put on a bit more makeup on your face to hide your ugly dark circles and picked out your favorite summery dress, pairing it with Sunny, your most esteemed purse. Getting into the flowery feeling of the festival almost felt obligatory at this point.

Usually, you go to the festival with your roommates—or anyone's who's willing to stare at flowers for a whole day—but ever since they added celebrities into the mix, the place has been crowded. Consequently, the flower booths are nearly empty as everyone flocks around the stage. But you don't mind. More room for you, who's actually here to admire the flowers.

You've lost your friends hours ago, but you know they're somewhere in the sea of fangirls, screaming over Kevin Kang—someone you acknowledge is talented, but just doesn't pique your interest. Now you're helplessly alone at the bright flower festival, all dressed up in a pretty dress but with no one to keep you company. You suppose you don't mind that much. But it is a bit strange. You're usually always surrounded by people. But a little solitude doesn't hurt, I guess.

Once again, you've subconsciously gravitated towards the sunflower booth. You let out a little squeal of glee inside your head when you realize you're totally matching with the vibrant yellow petals of your favorite flower.

Sunflowers don't have a special smell that permeates the air like other, more popular, flowers do, but they do have a distinct, earthy aroma that surrounds them. You're a total sucker for that. So you bend down, sniffing the pretty flowers and sighing out as the familiar, terrene fragrance fills your head. Beautiful.

Maybe you've never been a total nature freak, but you're a freak for sunflowers, that's for sure. You smile, taking a small step back to turn and check out some other sunflower booths. But you bump into someone, nearly stepping on their toes, which makes you stumble back and land butt-first on the dirty ground.

"Oh gosh!" you exclaim, trying to get up from your quite embarrassing fall but having no apparent success. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm sorry," the man laughs good-naturedly in a light, silvery voice. "I made you fall!" He reaches out a hand to help you up, and you almost take it. Until you recognize his voice. When your head jerks up, you gasp.

"You!" you yell viciously, scrambling up from the dirt and dusting the back of your dress off. You glare daggers into your enemy's eyes.

"Aw, shit," Jungkook sighs. "I didn't know that was you. But now I'm kinda glad you fell," he laughs. "Quite the drama queen. And it looks like the ever-so-popular girl is here alone. Hilarious."

You frown, straightening your dress as you cross your arms over your chest. "Shut up. I was just going to call my friends," you lie. "I just lost them. And besides, you're here alone, so should you really be saying all that?" you huff. "Why are you even here?"

"What? I can't enjoy looking at the sunflowers?" Jungkook retorts.

"That's your favorite flower too?" you ask incredulously. "Say sike right now."

"What's the opposite of sike?" Jungkook snorts. "That is my favorite flower. Got any problem with it?"

"Yes," you say. "Why sunflowers? Why? And Why here?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes. "I woke up one day and I liked sunflowers. I heard there was a flower festival here, and the next thing I know, I'm here. Are you done interrogating me?"

"You can't just wake up one day and like sunflowers," you say. "You're lying."

"Fine. Don't believe me then," Jungkook says. "You never believe me, anyways."

"What's that supposed to mean?" you say.

Jungkook stays silent. After a moment's more of hesitation he sighs. "Whatever. I'm going to the sunflower patch."

"Wait!" you say before he begins to walk away. "I'm going there too." He gives you a weird look. "No, I'm not suggesting we go together, but they have really good honey sunflower ice cream there," you quickly add.

"Honey sunflower ice cream, huh?" Jungkook says. "Never tried it."

You gasp, stepping back and placing a hand on your heart. "You... what?"

"Never tried it," Jungkook repeats.

"No way. You've never lived until you've tried the honey sunflower ice cream, Jeon!" you exclaim. "Now I'm obligated to take you there. Ice cream's on me. I hate you, but there's no one I hate enough not to introduce the best flavor in the world to them."

Jungkook cocks his head, staring at your excited self with curiosity. "You sure?"

You scoff. "Yes. Hurry up before I change my mind."

"Okay then. I'm trying the ice cream and then I'm leaving," he tells you.

"Whatever," you say right back.

And that is exactly how two enemies decided to share a day in civilized harmony together. Even after Jungkook got his precious honey sunflower ice cream, the two of you decided not to separate—for reasons of convenience—nothing else. But hanging out with Jungkook wasn't as bad as you thought.

Though 80% of the time was the two of you bickering about the littlest things, it was also quite refreshing to talk to the man you deemed as your nemesis. He didn't seem so evil upfront. Jungkook seemed more than a human with a sharp tongue and bad intentions. He's actually pretty funny—much more than he lets on—and is an excellent listener to your never-ending anecdotes.

At this point, Jungkook's on his third honey sunflower ice cream, and you're on your fourth sunflower lollipop as you walk through the sunflower field. You're so close to him that your arms touch every time you step forward. You don't really mind and neither does he. If anyone didn't know any better, they'd think you two are friends.

"Hey," Jungkook suddenly says.

"Yeah?" you answer.

"I got you something," he says.

"Wait—"

Jungkook suddenly stops walking and so do you as you watch him pull something out of his pocket. It's a packet of—

"Sunflower seeds?" you say. "When did you get that?" You give him a funny face.

Jungkook huffs. "If you didn't want it you could've just said..." He looks a bit saddened as he shrugs. "I thought since you loved sunflowers so much, you could plant some." He quickly shakes his head. "Not that I'm trying to be nice. This is just because you got me ice cream."

"I-I..." you stutter, massaging your head as you step back. Your mind reels and you blink rapidly. "Wow," you breath. "No, um, thank you, Jungkook... I love it. I just... wow. I'm getting major déjà vu."

It's Jungkook's turn to give you a funny look. "Déjà vu of the flower festival?"

"No..." you say, frowning as you take the packet of seeds that he hands out to you. "Weirdly, it's déjà vu of you giving me these sunflower seeds."

Jungkook snorts. "Did you fall down a bit too hard?"

"Hmph," you huff. "I've been running on coffee these days. I guess you can't really trust my thinking at this point."

"No wonder you have dark circles under your eyes," Jungkook says. "Getting ready for that internship abroad is tiring, huh?"

"How do you know about?" you ask.

"Everyone knows about it," Jungkook says. "You're a law prodigy. We all know."

You laugh. "That's flattering. But I dunno. I'm waking up at weird hours of the night."

"Me too," Jungkook says before he can stop himself.

"Wow, we actually have something in common," you giggle. "That's the first."

Jungkook laughs. "Is it really, though? Don't we have a mutual hatred for each other?"

"That doesn't count, Jeon."

"I think it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"Oh my gosh, no, it doesn't."

"YES IT GODDAMN DOES."

"NO, IT FREAKING DOESN'T."

"YOU KNOW WHAT, Y/N—"

The rather immature banter is interrupted by the ringtone of your phone playing some Christian music that Jungkook swears he's heard somewhere, but he can't remember where. It's strange because he doesn't exactly listen to Christian music, yet he's able to recognize this song straight away.

You roll your eyes at him, quickly picking up your phone from your purse and accepting the call.

"Hello?" you say. "Yeah. I'm at the sunflower patch. Yeah. No... Of course, I'm alone. Who do you think I'd be with? I'll come to you guys. Yeah. Okay, bye." You slip your phone back in your purse, sighing as you turn to Jungkook. "I have to go."

Jungkook huffs. "Whatever. Go, then."

You frown. "Fine." You give him a look before you begin to stomp off.

"AND JUST SO YOU KNOW," Jungkook yells at your back. "I'M NOT SOME NOBODY."

"AND JUST SO YOU KNOW," you say without turning your head to look at the man. "THIS NEVER HAPPENED!"

Jungkook sees you clutch the packet of sunflowers seeds he'd gifted you as you quickly walk away. He frowns at your figure, growing smaller the further you are.

He'll admit that the time he spent with you today wasn't too bad. But somehow, the two of you always left on a bad note. Oh well. Jungkook sighs as he finishes the rest of his honey sunflower ice cream. At least I got free dessert.

—previous | next

—masterpost

#ficswithluv #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #bangtanfairygarden #btswritingcafe #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts #bts fanfiction #redefining destiny #redest #Y'ALLS #THEY'RE SOULMATES BUT THEY HATE EACH OTHER LMAOO

[dad-victoriam]

I have one official character each for Fallout 3 and New Vegas, but In Fallout 4, I have like, three. Two Minutemen Generals and a Railroad Agent. Can you tell which play-through I started while bored and stuck in quarantine?

Lupe Campbell

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Eye Color: Pale Blue

Sexuality: Bisexual

Nicknames: General, Madam President, Ma, Lulu

Preferred Weapon: Custom Laser Rifle

Faction: Commonwealth Minutemen

Best Friend: Nick Valentine

Love Interest: Preston Garvey

Has never done anything wrong in her life ever.

Preston knows this, and he loves her.

They have Team Mom and Team Dad Energy.

Sturges says they’re gross about it, but one time they got in a fight and he nearly cried because he though they were going to break up.

Is freakishly strong and constantly concerns and astounds people watching her carry and lift things.

Once physically lifted Hancock up over her head and carried him to the time-out corner when he was antagonizing Danse.

He lives in constant fear of being manhandled again.

Her karma is so pristine it’s practically blinding.

Loves helping Nick on cases, always looks for an excuse to wear the trench coat and fedora.

Has unique sense of fashion, thinks the Minutemen General Cosplay is high couture, only wears high-waist Mom Jeans.

Had joined up with the Brotherhood for a little bit, but after Danse got kicked out she left.

Actually, what happened was she stormed into Maxon’s office, lectured him in a way only a mom could, told him she wasn’t mad, just disappointed and then left the Prydwen and hasn’t returned since.

Maxon locked himself in his quarters afterwards to brood, not to cry, he definitely didn’t cry.

(He cried a little bit)

Danse joined the Minutemen after that. It was like the Brotherhood, but they were as loyal to him as he was to them. It really helped him cope and renewed his sense of purpose.

Lupe and Preston are proud of him.

Everyone jokes that he’s like their son behind their backs. Hancock got caught once (see above mentioned physical lifitng).

Her Mom Energy is so potent that legit most of the companions and even some of the Minutemen and Sanctuary settelers gave her the nickname ‘Ma’

Does not drink, does not smoke, what does she do?

She delivers Justice.

Fox Hawthorne

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/ Her

Hair Color: Ginger

Eye Color: Green

Sexuality: Lesbian

Nicknames: Whisper (Deacon) Renarde (Curie)

Preferred Weapon: Silenced Sniper Rifle

Faction: The Railroad

Best Friend: MacCready

Love Interest: Curie

Closeted Pre-War, had a family to please her mother, actually pretty sad, doesn’t like talking about it except where Shaun is concerned.

“Fox” is not her real name but she refuses to tell anyone what it really is and there’s no way for them to ever find out for sure.

Deacon once snuck down to the vault to see if it was on record somewhere only to find out she was one step ahead of him.

She hacked the records and wherever her true name had been was replaced with a string of emojis.

🦊🍑👅🖕🏻

Codsworth is programmed to call her “Miss Fox” and does not understand the fact that she has another name so he’s no help either.

She can NOT stand staying in Sanctuary (too many memories) and renovated the Red Rocket station nearby to keep her stuff in.

A settlement formed around it and they’re pretty friendly with their Minutemen neighbors even though Preston is constantly trying to get Fox to join the cause.

She will not, she thinks the outfits are tacky, but secretly still goes out of her way to help settlements.

Curie loves it when she does that.

Her relationship with MacCready is summed up by ‘Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass / Lesbian’.

Do Not Separate Them.

They platonically raise Shaun and Duncan together.

“This is our dad, and this is our mom, and this is our mom’s girlfriend, Curie.”

Two Snipers Out In The Commonwealth Doing Sniper Things.

He literally pouts every time Fox leaves him at Red Rocket to do Railroad Missions with Deacon.

Curie keeps him company, they get along stupendously.

Other than Railroad Missions, or Settlement Rescue Mission Dates with Curie, Fox and MacCready are joined at the hip and are off doing dumb shit.

Always return to Red Rocket with broken noses, dislocated shoulders, cuts, bumps, and bruises and Curie has to patch them up.

Fox claims her kisses have healing properties.

She’s flirting, but Curie thinks she’s serious and has offered to kiss MacCready’s wounds as well.

He had to politely decline multiple times for fear of facing certain death via sandman kill.

The weirdest trio in the Commonwealth.

No one understands their dynamic.

It works because all three of them are the awkward third wheel of the friendship.

Bo

Gender: ???

Pronouns: They/Them

Hair Color: ???

Eye Color: ???

Sexuality: Pansexual

Nicknames: Commonwealth Cryptid

Preferred Weapon: Molotov Cocktail

Faction: Commonwealth Minutemen

Best Friend: Dogmeat

Love Interest: Hancock

Has good intentions, but bad methods.

Takes their title as General of the Minutemen very seriously.

Makes sure every settlement has enough food, water, and defense.

Spends hours decorating and making them look nice.

Could have a promising future (or past?) in architecture and interior design.

Intelligence stat is either 1 or 10, no one knows.

All their strategies are chaotic and crackpot but like; they work???

Chooses the Sarcastic response 100% of the time.

Low-Key devout member of the Children of Atom.

Wears assault gas mask and only ever takes off the mask when they’re furious and deadly serious, or you know, when they’re going to sleep.

Legitimately no one, not even the companions, knows what they look like, or even if they’re human or not.

Hancock knows, because he’s seen them naked, but refuses to tell anyone because he lives for the chaos and will constantly make up fake shit just to fuck with the rest of the group.

Hancock is the only living individual who knows what their face looks like.

Piper tried to see if Shaun knew anything and was like, “are you not even a little curious?”

The kid just shrugged, and like, messed around with a Laser Sniper Rifle he was making and was like “they’re my parent. That’s just how they are. I like them the way they are”.

MacCready swears up and down that he saw them turn their head 180 degrees like an owl one time.

Hancock backed him up, but he was huffing jet and laughing his ass off the whole time so no one knows if he was serious.

Gives “let’s get this freak show on the road” a whole new connotation.

Can only shop at Diamond City Surplus at night because Crazy Myrna refuses to sell to them.

She thinks they’re a synth and will not take “No, I’m Jangles the Moon Monkey” as an answer.

Definitely did blow up the Prydwen.

Stole Maxon’s jacket.

Has the Cannibalism perk.

It’s just practical, there are lots of dead bodies everywhere and food is scarce. If they eat a raider, then somehow, somewhere, there’s a Fancy Lad Snack Cake left for a starving orphan to eat.

No one else seems to see it this way.

Loves Brahmin.

I mean, really loves them.

 Will stop whatever they’re doing to pet one if they see one.

If they’re working as part of a caravan, they’ll call them Ma’am and apologize for disrupting their work, but will still pet them.

Caravan Guards who see this behavior: ?????

Maxed Stealth and Pickpocket perks

Is a Little Sneak Thief

All their armor has Chameleon Legendary effects.

This stresses everyone out because that means they can be anywhere at any time and oh my God, where are they? I know they’re in here with me, where are they???

Once snuck up on MacCready (accidentally) and pulled an actual full swear word out of the guy. It was loud.

And it was the Fuck word.

It’s Bo’s proudest achievement.

Was totally on board with being the Overboss of Nukaworld until Gage suggested raiding Commonwealth Settlements.

They take their title as General of the Minutemen very very seriously.

They took off the mask, and all of Nukaworld saw their face that day. T’was brutal.

I’m talking “Rip and tear until it is done”.

I’m talking heavy metal theme music and everything.

It’s a nice and peaceful little trader settlement now. Bo planted flowers everywhere.

So, did you guess which one I started cuz I was bored in quarantine, yet? Did you guess all three? You would be correct.

#i have no explanation #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 3 #fallout new vegas #fallout oc #incorrect fallout #preston garvey #fallout hancock #fallout maccready #fallout curie #fallout deacon #dogmeat #nick valentine