#certainly not letting emotions take over me because that was a mistake

[hitmewithlghtning]

i fucking hate looking like a high schooler when i'm 28 and being treated like a kid. like what the fuck am i supposed to do to be perceived as an adult?

#personal #certainly not letting emotions take over me because that was a mistake #i just want to disappear from this earth #i hate people #and i hate myself

[luveline]

hi, i’m not sure if your requests are open, forgive me if not, but i’ve been thinking about bombshell!reader and spence lately. not sure if you’ve written this already or something similar, but how about them sharing a room on a case? similar to alaska.

fem, 1k

Spencer predicted the outcome of the roommate situation fairly quickly. Ignoring whatever data he might have in his head about the team, Spencer was always going to end up sharing with you tonight, because the universe hates him, and because you quite like him. 

It's nice to be someone first choice, if nothing else. “Me and Spencer will share, obviously,” you say, holding out your hand for a keycard. 

Hotch passes it over without complaint. He doesn't have to say keep it professional, you will (ish), and he doesn't have to ask Spencer if he's okay with this arrangement. Despite endless exhausting teasing, everyone knows that you and Spencer are actually friends. Or, he thinks you are. 

You certainly feel quite friendly as you hike your bag higher up your arm and sew the other arm through his. “Let's go. I'm so tired I might fall asleep on the way there.” 

You don't look tired. Spencer struggles to understand how every emotion you wear suits you. How every time he looks at you, you're prettier. He read a book recently on human attraction, and less factual but perhaps his most strongly believed takeaway from the book was that a person grows more attracted to the person they're attracted to, like a loop, or an ouroboros snake eating its own tail, forced over and over to make the same stupid mistake. What is he doing? Does he really think this is a good idea? Is he in love with you? How couldn't he be? You walk arm in arm to a room you're going to share and you don't care that he smells sickly of arnica and deodorant mixed together. You ignore the dark circles under his eyes, dark circles you never seem to have, always so perfect, always so you. 

“This one?” you ask, coming to a stop. “Room… 108?” He takes your bag and you smile gratefully, inserting the key, and legging open the door. “Tada. Home sweet home, Dr. Reid.” 

The hotel room is small and stale. Clean, sure, but questionably, with yellowing furnishings and sparse furniture. There's a double bed, two nightstands, a cubby bathroom close to the door, and a single chair near a small free standing countertop opposite of the bed, hosting a microwave and cups with hot chocolate sachets. 

“Wow,” you say, beaming, immediately breaking for the bed. 

“Wait, wait! We have to check for bed bugs.” 

You hold your hands up in surrender. 

Spencer peels the sheets back and uses the little torch on his keychain to investigate the mattress while you sit on the floor, one leg crossed beneath you and the other stretched in front of you as you sort through your clothes. You hum as you fold a shirt cleanly and make a pleased sound that may prove to give him indigestion as you unearth your pyjamas. 

“Spencer, can I shower first? Do you mind?” 

“I don't mind.” He turns off the torch, satisfied. “Thank you. For letting me check without being annoyed.”He says the second bit quieter than he means to. 

“Why would I be annoyed?” you ask, standing up in a whirlwind of pistachio perfume. Low notes of something sweet and caramelised haunt him as you drop your hand on his shoulder. “I'm gonna shower really fast, I swear. Should we get dinner? I bet we could order something to the front desk.” 

“I'll see if they have any menus.” 

Sitting in bed with you, later, showered and fed and drinking microwaved hot chocolate from paper cups together, Spencer has a strange flash of pleasure. Talking to you, seeing you with your hair in its protective style for the night, your skin shining with lotions and serums, and to have the revelation that you really do have dark circles under your makeup, it all feels private and special. Because you're still undeniably beautiful, and you act like he's worth sharing that with. 

He feels overwhelmed, in all honesty. 

You can sense it. You do your best to calm him down. 

“Finish your drink, babe,” you say, knocking him on the thigh with your knuckles. “It was a really long day.” 

“I'm fine.” 

“Yes, you are.” You giggle at yourself. “Sorry, I'm being serious tonight, I decided.” 

“Why?” he asks, puzzled. 

“I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“You don't.” 

You put your hot chocolate on the nightstand and sink back into the pillows, looking every bit a movie star as usual despite your fresh face. It's your expression, the confidence behind them, that makes you so beautiful. 

“What are you thinking?” you ask. 

He looks down into his hot chocolate, swirling the drink around and around. “You're beautiful.” 

It catches you off guard. You're quiet for too long, panic festering in his chest. 

“You are too.” You put your hand on his thigh. When he brings his haze to your face, you've closed your eyes, a small smirk playing on your lips. “Wanna brush my teeth for me?” 

“No.” You both laugh. “Sorry if that was out of the blue, before.”

“I say worse to you,” you say. “Lay down with me. We can snuggle.” 

Spencer lays down. You don't snuggle, but your hand stays pressed to the side of his thigh, and the smell of your perfume lingers despite your shower. It must've been caught in your hair. 

“It's weird,” you say, facing the ceiling, “I'm not tired anymore.” 

“It's called learned arousal.” 

Your laugh is a shock. “Oh, is it now?” 

“Not like that. Are you thinking about work? If you think about certain things while you're in bed, it starts to make it so you think about those things on instinct. You've conditioned yourself.” 

“I don't think so,” you say. “Well, maybe. Mostly I just think about you, Spence. And not like that.” You laugh again, so much laughter Spencer could conjure the sound from memory alone. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I promise I'm not trying to harass you.” 

He stares at the side of your face. “I know what you mean. I think about you too.” 

“Well, good to know I'm not in this torture alone,” you say softly. 

It is the worst night's sleep of Spencer's life, but he thinks he might want to do it again. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[undoing-anobrains]

the piano teacher - matty healy*

minors dni

wc: 2.3K

warnings: smut, soft dom matty, swearing, praise, riding, unprotected sex

Your fingers brushed delicately over the ivory keys before you in rapid succession as you played Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for what felt like the millionth time. The slow melody was all but ringing inside your head as you tried to keep your focus on not messing up as you approached the most difficult part of the piece. It was particularly melancholic to the ear and absolutely beautiful when played correctly but technically very difficult to pull off. Especially with a distraction looming over you, observing your every movement.

Feeling the pressure while under his intense stare you missed a critical note throwing the whole piece off. You let out a quiet sigh knowing what comes next, restarting and playing the whole piece again. Casting your eyes momentarily up at your sheet music that rested on the stand you pretended to busy yourself with fixing your consistent mistake, but in reality you just wanted a better look at him.

Him being your piano teacher. Matty Healy. He was supposedly the best of the best. Or at least that’s what your parents claimed when they bragged to their friends about how much money they were forking out on lessons to ‘enhance your gift’. You thought it was a load of bullshit - you didn’t even enjoy playing the piano for crying out loud but you endured it to spend time with the devilishly attractive man stood before you now.

“You’re overthinking again,” he finally spoke. Only then did you realise how close he was to you. His tone seemed softer than it should be for a man that has a reputation for having little patience for mistakes. It sent a shiver down your spine, to think that maybe –just maybe— he was being gentle because it’s you. But you had to shake that ridiculous thought out of your head. You were merely his student, another rich girl being forced to appease her even richer parents. “Your shoulders keep tensing up at the first movement of the piece. You need to loosen up Y/n, feel the emotion of it, feel the desperation.”

Well you were certainly feeling desperation. There was something captivating about how animated he got when passionate about what he was saying. And perhaps it was that desperation that lead you to your next move. “Care to show me how it’s done then?”

“You want me to show you?” He echoed, now seemingly amused by the situation.

Maybe you’d come to regret these words later but you were determined to rile him up “well yeah, you’re kind of all talk, you know…I’ve never actually seen you play. Are you even any good?”

Matty scoffed “I’m more than just good sweetheart.”

“Prove it,” you retort with a hidden smile.

You shuffle further towards the edge of the small piano stool as he takes a seat next to you. For a moment you contemplate standing up and letting him have the space in front of the keys entirely to himself but you couldn’t pass up a front row seat to his performance. He doesn’t bother to look up at the sheet music as he places his fingers on the keys.

You can’t help but stare at the way his fingers move back and forth with a dexterity that should not be possible for hands of that size. His movements are almost paradoxical, impossibly delicate and intense at the same time. When he reaches the height of the emotion in the piece which is by far the most difficult part, the part you can never quite seem to master, you see how he stretches out his hands so that his pinky and his thumb are playing keys that seem impossibly far apart.

It’s just unfair. The size of his hands, the length of his fingers, give him an advantage that you don’t have. It’s useful to have hands like his, and you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have them on your body. If that veiny hand was instead curled around your neck or trailing down your skin.

“Show off,” you whisper. You mean it to sound playful, but instead, you sound breathless as the music slowly fades away and he finishes.

There’s a lingering gaze between you two. As if you’re both daring the other to break the tension that’s been brewing since your first lesson. Before you even have time to react, to give in to your own impulses, his lips are on yours. You’re momentarily stunned but quickly give in. His hands wander somewhere behind your neck, gentle and cradling your head, one of his thumbs brushing your cheek delicately. The kiss grew more fervent as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. He pulls you closer to him as it became more passionate and you feel like your melting.

Little gasps and whimpers escape you but he swallows them all in his kiss. He wraps a forearm around your waist and pulls you across so that you’re now sitting on his lap. Your ass is now directly on top of his crotch and you can feel how hard he is pressed up against you. He comes up for air from the kiss and whispers against the flushed skin of your neck “your turn, sweet girl.”

“Are you serious?” You’re in complete disbelief at his request.

“Come on darling,” he coaxes you by planting soft kisses along the expanse of your neck, sucking harshly on some causing soft moans to fall from your swollen lips “don’t you want to be a good girl for me? My star pupil?”

Your hands hesitantly rest on the keys only for a second as you process the words that just came out of his mouth. His perfect fucking mouth. But then you remember yourself, and you know that you can’t disappoint him. You have to focus on the instrument in front of you and make sure not to make any mistakes which is easier said than done with his hard cock pressed up against your ass. You almost have the hang of all your movements when his hands begin to move from your waist towards your ribcage and his thumbs sweep back and forth against the underside of your breasts.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmurs against your ear. “Tell me this is okay.”

“Fuck, yes. All of it.”

He doesn’t need any more encouragement. The next thing you know, his calloused hands are on your tits, his fingers teasing your nipples over the fabric of your thin little bralette while you will your hands not to shake so that you can finish the piece before you cum untouched.

Somehow managing to play the piece flawlessly you get a hum of approval from Matty. “Good,” he says and you preen at his approval. From there he wastes absolutely no time standing you up and pushing your tight little black skirt up to your stomach, revealing the delicate lace underwear you’re wearing underneath. He’s still sitting, his face at the right height to admire your exposed body on display for him. “Fuck sweetheart, your ass looks fucking beautiful in these.” They don’t stay on for long. Within seconds and one fell sweep your panties have been ripped .

“Sorry darling, they had to go. They were in the way of my perfect pussy.” You look over your shoulder just in time to see him stuffing the now useless lace into his pocket before his hands move to undo the button of his jeans, and then his fly. Your eyes are glued to his crotch as he lifts himself off the seat to push his jeans and boxers down far enough to reveal the most perfect cock you have ever seen.

He takes it in hand and pumps it a couple of times before he looks up at you again with something akin to mischief in his eyes. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

You don’t have to check to know that you’re already soaking wet, but you also know that you’ve never taken someone as big as him. He must see the slight hesitation in your eyes because his smirk softens just a bit. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll be gentle, but just while your pretty little cunt gets used to my cock.”

Well in that case, who are you to deny him? You take a deep breath as you position yourself above him, the hand that’s not holding his cock moving toward your hip to guide your movement. You can’t help but moan when the tip of his cock nestles itself between your folds.

“God sweetheart, you’re so wet already. Fuck,” he says as he pulls you down to rub your slick all over his cock and you jolt when he presses against it your clit. “I need to feel your cunt now. Move down slow, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”

You lean forward to watch as the head of his cock disappears into you. It only takes a couple of thrusts for your body to slip into place over his and all of a sudden you feel fuller than you ever have in your entire life.

“Oh fuck, I fucking knew you’d be tight. I fucking knew it,” he says in a tone that’s surprisingly soft for the words that are coming out of his mouth. His hand presses firmly on your lower stomach so that you can feel him inside of you

“Oh-fuck!-Matty,” you moan as he slowly pulls out of your cunt, only to slam you back down on his cock roughy. His cock seems to be touching places so deep inside you that you didn’t even know they existed.

You clench around his cock as you bounce up and down on it, Matty’s hands exploring your body with fascination. It was as though he was trying to memorise every curve, every detail of you. He thrusts up roughly into you as well, stretching your pussy wide to fit him. Your eyes are practically in your skull at this point with the pleasure of him repeatedly hitting that spot inside you.

The originally slow and calculating thrusts into your pussy were a cruel taunt, with each one of them bringing you closer and closer to the edge. But as both you and Matty got closer to reaching your orgasm he began to pound a lot more rapidly and sloppier. Desperation was a good look on him you decided. The lustful eyes that couldn’t take their glossed appearance off of you, the swollen red lips matching yours, the way he threw his head back with a loud groan every time you clenched around his cock. The only noises in the echoey room were the sound of skin slamming against skin and the sounds you were making which were almost musical. An unusual kind of symphony.

“That’s my good girl,” Matty praises you as your tits bounce in his face with each and every thrust inside you “my perfect little slut, so good for me.”

You nod eagerly, brain so overwhelmed by the situation that you can’t even think of words to respond with.

“Say it darling,” his hand suddenly grasps your jaw forcing eye contact between the two of you “say you’re my good slut.”

“I-ma…I’m your good slut,” you manage to mewl out between moans.

“God your pussy is incredible,” Matty groans as he feels himself getting close to cumming “fucking milking my cock, that’s it, good girl, keep doing that.”

It hits you in waves shortly after. Every time you think you can’t possibly keep cumming, Matty and his unrelenting pace keep slamming into you, prolonging the sensation of utter fucking bliss that runs through your entire body. It’s the hardest you’ve ever come in your life.

He doesn’t stop, even as your legs go slack and he has to hold you up against him. He doesn’t stop thrusting into you even as he whispers how perfect you are, how perfect you feel cumming on his cock. He doesn’t slow down as he pushes you back down against the piano and tells you he’s going to fill you up with his cum. He doesn’t even lose his rhythm as you feel it pour into you in long streams.

Matty takes a few last thrusts before he pulls both of you back down onto the seat, his softening cock still buried in you. He runs his hands over your breasts and tilts your chin so that you’re facing him. That’s when he kisses you for the second time. His lips are just as soft and perfect as they were the first tome. His tongue running against your lower lip even more so. “You did so good darling.”

“And you weren’t bad,” you jest with a small grin “very Moonlight Sonata of you.”

You’re not wrong. The rumoured story behind the current piece you’ve been working on and practicing together is that Beethoven composed it with his student and lover in mind. Funnily enough you seem to have unintentionally mirrored it.

“Only not bad,” Matty feigns offence “well if you’re going to be a brat about it, there’s always time for round two love.”

Just as you go to reply with a biting comment you hear footsteps approaching your bedroom door. You frantically pull yourself off of Matty’s soft cock and roll your skirt back down and try to ignore the feeling of cum dropping down your thighs. Matty merely smirks as he slips his cock back inside his underwear and does the button on his jeans.

Your mother walks in seconds later with a snotty look on her otherwise pretty features “Matthew,” she greets him, all sickeningly sweet and nasally “I hope she was satisfactory today.”

Matty subtly gives you a knowing look as he responds “she was exceptional, truly, and I’m sure she’ll be even better tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. If you didn’t feel somewhat uncomfortable sitting down on that wooden stool tomorrow you were going to be severely disappointed. But if the look on Matty’s face was anything to go off of, this was only the beginning.

#matty healy fic #matty healy #matty healy smut #the 1975 smut #matty healy x reader #the 1975 #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #adam hann #george daniel #ross macdonald

[yanderes-galore]

Well, this is going to be my last request.

Fandom: Mortal Kombat

Character: Reptile/Syzoth (from MK 1)

Tupe of fic: Romantic concepts

So, for this one, darling is an ally to Liu Kang and joins the group, getting specially close to Reptile after they escape from Shang Tsung's lab and Syzoth discovers his family was killed.

I'd love to write Reptile! He was cool in MK1 :) I love him... and apparently the rest of the fandom does too 👀 He's just so sweet!

Let me know what you think! I need to do Shang Tsung soon :D

Yandere! Syzoth/Reptile Concept

(Mortal Kombat 1)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Fear of loss, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Manipulation, Technically terato(?), Mentions of "mate", Biting, Violence, Possessive behavior, Delusional behavior, Brief mention of abduction, Dubious/Forced relationship.

You briefly met Syzoth when you and the rest of the group were captured.

To hear he was a slave to Shang Tsung saddened you, yet you currently could only focus on your own survival.

You don't get to properly meet Syzoth until after Baraka defeats him and you all flee.

You pitied him for being a slave... only to still lose his family in the end.

Syzoth just looked so... devastated afterwards.

While you were also aiding the group by watching over Kenshi until he could get a doctor, you wouldn't help but try to mend Syzoth's broken emotions.

This is what brings you two closer.

You find out that Syzoth isn't that bad of a man... or Zaterran.

His story is actually quite sad.

He left his race in order to find a better life... only to be sucked into something worse.

At first he's apologetic if he hurt you in the lab while also being distant.

Syzoth fears to be close with many due to all the shame he has faced and the fact he lost his family.

Despite this you appear to be... welcoming to him.

In fact... the group itself accepts him and finds him useful.

For that... he is happy.

Syzoth could be an intimidating yandere even if he is really kind with you.

His natural Zaterran form is strong, capable of crushing and jumping large distances.

He is also capable of invisibility, allowing him to spy and stalk.

Syzoth is much nicer than his other counterpart(s).

He genuinely wants to help his allies because he cares for them.

He sees them like they're new family.

Including you.

Syzoth most likely fell for you the moment you tried to help him.

Well, not entirely, but he certainly got attached.

You greeted him with open arms and accepted him into your band of warriors and for that... he feels he's loyal to you.

He understands he's free now, yet he feels like he must stick around you.

Syzoth would try to play bodyguard around you.

He primarily keeps his human form around you but also uses his Zaterran form to intimidate others.

This is a person HC but I feel Zaterrans are possessive towards those they see as a "mate".

Even when in human form he snarls and hisses at others.

He also appears to be way too clingy?

If Syzoth was close enough to you or managed to get you somewhere private... he'd probably bite and nip at you in an attempt to claim you as his.

He doesn't mean it to hurt you, he just wants to show you and others he takes a claim to you.

If you're comfortable with it Syzoth will appear in his natural form before you.

He's nervous at first because you're from Earthrealm, yet you reassure him it's fine.

Now picture this: Giant Zaterran cuddles.

When in private Syzoth shows his natural form more often, pushing his head into your lap and making guttural yet pleased noises.

Syzoth feels at peace with you.

You may not know his true feelings towards you until the clingy behavior, biting, and nuzzling manifest.

Perhaps you make the mistake of asking him... only for him to perk up and answer.

"Right... you're from Earthrealm. Do you not do "courting" in your realm?"

Syzoth is incredibly honest with you.

He thinks you feel the same for him so he has decided to show you he's capable.

Even when you try to tell him you may not be ready, that you just see him as a friend and ally, Syzoth ignores you.

"There's no need to worry, I promise I can be a good mate if you let me."

Even if you try to ignore Syzoth after that he simply follows loyally.

There's times you even feel like you're being watched due to Syzoth going invisible to follow.

Syzoth is incredibly overprotective, often swapping to his natural form to attack those he feels will take you away.

He's clingy as he's already lost his family.

With you... he has potential to have a new family.

Just a cute thought, Syzoth melts when you hold him or stroke under his chin.

He loves you so much.

Syzoth tries to show restraint but he may kidnap you to hide you from others.

He feels guilty but he just gets so... possessive at times.

Syzoth wants nothing more than to have you love him back.

He may even try to guilt you into it, mentioning his past to you and appearing upset.

Syzoth tries his best to care for you... bringing meat and showering you in affection.

His tail probably wags in his natural form if you praise him.

Once Shang Tsung is dealt with... Syzoth hopes to continue a future with you.

He apologizes if he seems so forceful...

He just feels he has to claim you as his before he loses you like he did his family.

"Oh, please don't ignore me, dear... am I going too fast? I'm sorry... I'll try to be patient. But... you must understand I've already claimed you as mine, yes?"

#yandere mortal kombat #yandere mortal kombat 1 #yandere mk reptile #yandere mk #yandere syzoth

[bunnybubae]

(M)🚦Red Light: The Fear | Ch1 [JJK]

👉🏻[Series Masterpost]

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)

Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst

Summary: Jeon Jungkook never lets any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past  you'll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It's a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile.  Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?

Chapter Warnings: This chapter describes an episode of harassment (it involves an unwanted kiss), please be aware of this if this theme makes you uncomfortable, description of past emotional abuse (manipulation, toxic jealousy), Angst, mention of alcohol consumption, Oc's ex is a stalker, cops are grossly negligent in this au, Tae and Hani to the rescue, Jk is hot af but this is nothing new.

Wc: 7.4k

A/N: Hello there! I've been planning this whole series for over a year and I'm finally able to make it come to life, slowly but surely! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻

Let me know what you think about the series, my box is always open! - Joy 🐰

September 12th, Tuesday

The sun has already set, leaving the place to the colors of dusk.

You feel that your heart might explode in your chest at any moment. Is it the september evening breeze that's causing the chills covering your skin, or if it's all due to this visceral fear that's blocking your muscles right now? You can't quite tell.

After some extra hours at work, you thought you could finally close the tattoo shop in peace and go home to enjoy some leftover pizza in front of your laptop, but no- Ray evidently had other plans for you, deciding to unexpectedly visit you in the most unpleasant way possible. 

You wish Hani had stayed a little longer today to close the shop with you, because this sickening feeling it's becoming unbearable. You feel like a mouse in front of a ravenous cat and you want to scream, but you just don't find the courage to do it. 

He caught you off guard from behind, while you were looking for the keys in your bag, then he effortlessly spun you around on the spot and you found yourself blocked by your shoulders leaning against the entrance door of the shop. 

Your throat tightens as you struggle to breathe regularly. 

You're helpless and right now the only thing you can do is curse the day you replied to his message on Instagram, curse the invitation to participate at that damn workshop you and Hani organized for an exchange of advertising between tattoo artists. You can only curse that day and the following ones you spent with him. Of course you couldn't imagine that your perfect relationship would turn into such a nightmare, your ex used to be so kind and loving with you at the beginning, not even close to the obsessive, pleading mess that's keeping you trapped in utter fear right now. Jealousy can sometimes turn into such an obsession evidently, it can change people and you never expected something like this to happen in your life. Everything only got worse when after almost a year in your toxic relationship, you found the courage to finally break up with him. 

Weeks had passed since the last time Ray had disgusted you with his threatening messages and unexpected visits during work, you were almost convinced he had found another hobby but as a matter of fact, you were wrong. 

He understood that you can ignore his messages or even block his number for good, that you won't listen to him when Hani or your clients are around, but you certainly won't be able to ignore his forced presence, especially now that you're totally alone. He knows he has your undivided attention in this way.

He slurs something but you can't even pay attention. His inked arms are situated on each side of your head, while he looks down at you with desperate eyes. You don't even recognize him anymore. He used to take extra care of his appearance and health back when you two used to date, but now it seems like he is facing a grave problem with drinking. His body is close to yours, way too close for your liking and his warm breath mixed with whatever alcohol he drank, almost makes you gag. 

The smell of his cologne is the only thing that's still the same and that you recognize, it hits your nostrils and it brings back memories that now only hurt.

“Y/N, baby- why do you keep ignoring me like this?” his voice is strained and his face is contorted in anger- or nostalgia, you can't even tell. "You're killing me and I always treated you well" He is trying to stop the thoughts that are clouding his mind, slurring out the words breathlessly.

"I fucking miss you! I don't know what else to do to make you mine again!" 

These words are filled with desperation and you hate it, his need for possession is crystal clear in his statements. He threatened you multiple times saying that if you didn't get back together he would harm himself, claiming that the pain was too strong for him to bear, but he never said he wanted you back because he loved you, not even once. The only thing that he misses is controlling you, the only thing that he loves is taking away everything from you, putting himself at the center of your world.

He only wants to call you his, like a mere emotionless object. You hate it, you hate him.

He probably never wanted to take care of your heart as you believed and the realization that you were in love with him once, that his twisted feelings were strong for you but not in a healthy way, it makes you sick to your stomach. You should have known better, but you were blinded by your feelings.

There was a moment when you thought that you deserved this treatment, you told yourself that you allowed all of this because you were too naive to notice that those toxic feelings were poisoning your persona, till it was too late and they suffocated you, caging you. 

"G-get away from me" you manage to say in a small voice as your heart thunders in your ears. Your stomach twists in a knot when you sense his moving hands. The fear turns into pure horror when his hands find their way to rest on your cheeks a little too harshly and you instinctively hold your breath.

His drunken lips crash into yours with urgency, and you feel like you might throw up at all the disgusting sensations you are experiencing right now. Your body reacts of its own accord, rejecting this desperate, unwanted kiss before he could deepen it or do something worse. 

“I said get away from me!” you scream in a broken voice as you try to push him away with all the strength you possess. 

Ray is looking at you, almost surprised that you had the courage to reject him. Despite your effort he doesn't budge much, it's like his feet are planted to the ground. 

You're not able to meet his bloodshot eyes as you desperately try to free yourself. He's mumbling something that you can't quite comprehend and then his heavy hands are pushing your shoulders against the cold glass of the shop entrance, once again.

You didn't know you were crying until your vision started to blur with tears. This feeling of helplessness is the same one that kept you stuck in Ray's twisted love for months. 

Red flags were scattered all around, he started by making you doubt your abilities as an artist to then insistently ask you to pass all your male clients to Hani, co-owner of the shop as well as your best friend ever since you were children. She was the one who covered up your lies with Ray, as you tried to keep your clients aways from his madness.

He bulldozed everything around you, but Hani always stayed by your side, refusing to believe Ray's lies. She was your sturdy pillar when everything around you was falling apart. 

It was when Ray began to spread heavy lies about her, to lead you to break the agreements and contract with her, that you finally understood the gravity of the situation, that he was capable of totally ruining your life if you allowed him to manipulate you further. 

The threatening texts and stalking episodes that followed are nothing compared to what keeping a relationship with him could have entailed.

You're not sure when Ray started behaving in a toxic manner, cause you still remember the rosy beginning of your relationship and everything was just fine. Hani says she started noticing changes when he decided to surprise you one day at the shop and found the both of you engaged in a simple conversation with some male regulars. This evidently made him very jealous, because from that moment, the ordeal began. 

Your thoughts and sobbing are interrupted when Ray goes from mumbling pleas to insulting you with hatred, while his hands squeeze your shoulders as if to make sure to imprint on your skin all that he is feeling for you. 

You're not sure how you managed to free yourself from his grip, next thing you know you're running with all the strength you have left in your body, abandoning the alley of the shop to find a safer place. You hear him calling your name a couple of times as you put more and more distance between you. You fear that he might follow you and block you once again and the mere thought of finding yourself defenseless in the arms that once wrapped you with apparent affection, is enough to make new tears flow down your cheeks. 

The streets are almost empty and after reaching one that is well illuminated by shop signs, you look around to make sure he is not after you. When you make sure he is nowhere to be found, you grab your phone with shaky hands to call your best friend. You keep walking down the sidewalk as you try to calm your crying. 

“Y/N?” 

After a few rings, Hani answers the phone and hearing her voice ruins your desperate attempt to stay calm. You let out a liberating cry as you tell her that Ray really went too far this time. 

You knew that Hani had a date with her boyfriend, Taehyung, who she met several months ago at the shop. Tae got a tattoo from her and from that moment they became inseparable. You knew they were going out to dinner and you feel bad ruining their date like this, but they are the only people you can trust who know everything about your struggles with your ex.

Hani speaks quickly but gently on the phone, she clearly tries to keep calm while she tells you to go to the bar that you often visit after work, located just a few minutes away from the shop. She reassures you, telling you that they would be there as soon as possible. 

“Don't hang up until you get there, okay?” Hani adds, she can probably sense how shaken you are by what just happened and leaving you alone, even if it's over the phone, is out of question.

“I'm almost there,” you reply weakly through your sobs as you keep walking. You dry your face and try to normalize your breathing when you reach the small street where the bar is located. It's a quiet little place that holds countless memories for you and Hani, it was there that you and her celebrated the purchase of your tattoo shop a few years ago and it's where you return whenever you feel the need to unplug for a moment, while remaining in an familiar environment that makes you feel at ease. 

You walk through the entrance still holding your phone to your ear. The warmth hits your limbs pleasantly while lounge music and the smell of beer begin to envelop you like a blanket. 

On the other end of the phone you hear a loud windy noise and you deduce that Hani has already gotten on the motorcycle with Tae and that they are therefore about to arrive.

You feel a little calmer.

You end the call, knowing that Hani can't hear you and instead you opt for a text, informing her you'll wait for them at your usual spot. 

When you scan the place, you're glad it's only a tuesday as there are only a few people. You reach the slightly more secluded area of the place and you sit at your favorite table. The place is filled with fairy lights hanging above your head, their light hitting the brickstone of the walls and the wooden furniture just right, giving a cozy vibe that you always liked.

You then take off your jacket and your bag before sitting down, glad to have some dividers shielding you as you feel the aftermath of the adrenaline rush coming to you, all your strength drains away. Your shoulders ache from the tension and because of Ray's grip on them, your feet throb from the wild run and your heart continues to beat like a concert is taking place inside your ribs. You lean on the table with your elbows as you bring your hands to your head to massage your temples.

How could you ever imagine to find yourself in a similar situation?

You naively refused to believe that Ray was capable of hurting you in any way. He was too sweet and helpful with you at the beginning to think he was evil, your shared passion for arts was the core of your relationship and you also learned something new about the art of tattooing thanks to him. You were grateful for all the help he gave you in the shop. Ray is also objectively hot and the physical attraction and sexual chemistry were very strong between you.

Everything was pretty perfect.

Too much indeed, to the point that thinking about it now you wonder how you didn't notice how much the whole thing was stinking a mile away. You couldn't imagine that behind his perfect appearance and behavior, there was such an obsessed manipulator. You truly believed that he loved you like you loved him.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your hands. Whatever he has done now, you're sick to ask help from the cops, they did nothing useful when you needed them in the past.

"We can't handcuff a guy without clear evidence that he's acting in bad faith, he's a heartbroken young man trying to win his girlfriend back!" 

These were the words they said only two months ago, when you tried to report his constant messages and stalking episodes. Nobody did anything. They dwelt mostly on the threats he sent, on the fact that he said he was going to hurt himself if you didn't answer or consider getting back together with him and they also didn't think his repeated visits were something to worry about, since he used to do that when you were still together, in their opinion.

They even had the courage to tell you that you guys are young, that people are made to make mistakes and learn from them and all that bullshit people say when they need  to give air to their mouths. 

They made him seem like the victim here and you are so sick to deal with this bullshit, you'd rather lock yourself home and never get out than asking their useless help once again. 

You don't feel safe anyway, neither without nor with them.

You've resigned to the idea that you can't count on them and that you must do something yourself, but what can you do against a much taller and stronger guy?

You shiver at the thought but then your attention is drawn by a soft voice.

“Hey,” when you lift your head, your gaze softens as it meets your best friend's face. She promptly sits next to you without even taking off her motorcycle jacket and gloves and she pulls you into her arms.

"I swear if I see him around I'll gouge out his eyes and make earrings out of them." 

Hani states as she continues to soothe you in her embrace. A little smile creeps on your face, mostly because you know that she would be perfectly capable of doing what she just said. 

She is scary sometimes, but you love her nonetheless. 

You feel an extra hand caressing your shoulder "That's a creepy way to do some recycling but I approve" Taehyung adds in a lighter tone, when you move to look at him you notice he is looking down at you with a sad smile on his face.

Since Tae started dating Hani, he has become a dear friend to you, you love the natural way he takes care of her, and you appreciate the several times he came to your rescue, having a fight with Ray to defend you. He is a good friend. You smile at him but the smile doesn't reach your puffy reddened eyes. 

It's nice to know that your friends are always there for you, you feel so helpless though, so fragile right now. 

Tae orders the usual for the three of you and some snacks from a passing waiter, and then he joins you and Hani at the table, both of them ready to listen to you.

“Thank you guys for coming- I'm sorry I ruined your date.” you feel guilty and your voice is still trembling a little bit. 

“Don't even joke about it, Y/N.” Tae's tone is almost scolding as he fixes their motorcycle jackets next to him. 

“You know that Tae and I see each other almost every day," Hani says "You don't have to worry about that.” 

“It's just that I- I never felt so weak before” you admit as your eyes begin to shine again, unshed tears gathering on the rim of your lower eyelid, threatening to fall at any moment. 

“I tried to push him away when he kissed me.” the memory of his lips on yours makes you shudder, so much so that you can't believe that there was a time instead when you craved those lips all over your body. 

"I was barely able to push him off of me." Hani and Tae keep listening, anger readable on their faces as you recount what happened. You manage to speak on the verge of crying, your eyes glimmer but this time you find the strength to keep your tears at bay. You feel anger taking over your fear right now, that's probably why you refuse to cry over your disgusting ex and his demeanor yet again.

Hani interjects, stating that she'll do all the closing at the shop with you from now on, adding that she's starting to consider buying you some pepper spray, so you can empty it on his face if he shows up again.

The waiter returns with your orders and some water, telling you to call him back if you need anything else. He seems to have noticed your mood and doesn't want to interfere too much while remaining at your service anyway. You thank him with a warm smile before he goes back to doing his job elsewhere.

“Pepper spray is a good idea and you should buy it if it makes you feel a little safer," Tae begins "but I have another idea.” he adds before sipping his drink.

“I have a friend who races with me who also owns a gym, he even teaches kids how to throw good punches and stuff.”

You had almost completely forgotten that Tae participates in a regional motorcycle racing championship every year, Hani did nothing but talk about it at the beginning of their relationship. 

Hani nods vigorously after taking a sip of her own drink, agreeing with her boyfriend. 

"It wouldn't be a bad idea actually!" she says “Punching the shit out of that dick head would be even more satisfying!”

Tae fishes his wallet out of his jacket pocket and then rummages through its folds. When he finds what he was looking for, he places a business card on the table and pushes it towards you. 

"Jungkook took care of the gym full time before also dedicating himself to racing" he explains "Now there is a guy who helps him with the management, but he prefers to take care of the main courses himself"

You collect the business card while pondering what to do. Taking some boxing lessons might help you boost your confidence, your strength and it might be a good distraction as well.

"It's not that far from the shop" you recognize the name of the gym having passed in front of it a few times while you wanted to buy breakfast in a nearby coffee shop before your shift at work. You could use the opportunity to learn something new that you could also use to your advantage if needed.

You listen while Tae tries to explain what he knows about the gym, telling you that his friend Jungkook mainly handles the children's class in the early afternoon and the adult's class that starts at 7pm. That wouldn't be bad for you, since your closing time is around 6 pm, cleaning up and preparing the shop for the next day won't take much time.

“If you decide to try, tell him I sent you,” Tae continues “I can already tell you tho- Jungkook loves to joke, sometimes a little too much, but he's a good guy and knows how to be serious when necessary” 

You slightly nod, looking back at the piece of paper in your hands. 

You can try, and if you don't like it you can always leave. 

You can grab an uber or whatever to reach the place and to go back home. It should be fine if you book it a little earlier, so you don't have to wait alone outside.

"Okay," you suddenly say "I think I'll give it a try." 

Hani and Tae both smile, visibly content with your choice.

"Do you want me to walk you there?" Hani asks "It'll be a 30ish minute walk" You accept Hani's proposal without thinking too much.

"How about thursday?" you add "We can go together and then I'll get organized with uber and stuff"

Hani agrees, then she drifts her attention to Tae, who starts to discuss with her the time and place he will be coming to pick her up after she drops you at the gym.

The evening continues normally, you regain your tranquility bit by bit, even tho there is always a pinch of sadness and anger bothering you in the back of your mind. Sharing some quiet moments with your friends managed to cheer you up enough to genuinely laugh at the silly bickering between the two lovebirds. 

You can't help but wonder if you'll be able to get over this mess anytime soon.

When it's time to go home, Hani decides that she will be spending the night with you at the apartment you once shared for more than a year, before she started to crash often at Tae's.

Ray could always decide to make the situation worse by showing up at your door, you think. If he decides to do so, Hani could create those famous eyeballs-earrings much sooner, she said. The joke makes you all chuckle, you are happy to have them by your side, gosh- you truly are grateful.

Spending time with them definitely improved your mood and you feel like you can overcome this bad period of your life, with time and patience. 

You thank Tae who waited for your uber to arrive before putting on his helmet and get on his motorcycle.

You feel incredibly tired but hopeful, this new experience could really help you on multiple fronts.

September 14th, Thursday

When you wake up, you feel like you've slept for barely 2 hours, but it's been like this since the whole stalking shit started, so. You lack your usual enthusiasm, that unbridled desire to create works of art on other people's skin, it's slowly vanishing away and that worries you. 

You do your best to react though. The day goes by better than yesterday, your appointments at the shop flow smoothly one after the other and some potential customers have come to ask for some info on the costs of piercings, something Hani mainly manages. 

You keep your mood up to meet your customers' requests, to smile and make them feel comfortable.

You are finishing the last touches on the skin of your last client of the day when, looking up at the clock hanging on the wall, you realize that soon it will be time to close, you shudder a little even if you know that Hani will close the shop with you this time, it's been only two days after all, the events are still too fresh. You let the buzzing sound of the pen distract you as you fill the last bit of skin with ink.

In no time, the shop is empty and silent again, except for Hani who has the pleasant habit of humming as she tidies up her side of the shop. You finish cleaning your station while your mind wanders. You think that it was so natural and easier to enjoy the peace of this place before. 

This has always been a safe place for you, your very home. Of course, the concept of home is usually a place where you don't do your job, where you sleep, eat and rest. You pay the rent for the apartment, but this is still where you spend most of your time, this is that place that you know you will never leave, that you feel it's yours, that when you walk through the door makes you feel in your element.

It shouldn't be that difficult now, it's still the same shop, but the need to hide your appointments to avoid arguments with your ex in the past and the fear you began to feel as time passed, have tarnished what this place means to you. Your face drops in sadness at the thought. You want to go back to loving this place like you've always done at all costs and find some serenity again. Tattooing has always been your passion, something that sadly distanced you from your parents, who always wished you would pursue a different career. You won't let Ray ruin what you accomplished with sacrifices.

The shop shines when you're done, you pick up the bag previously prepared for the gym and you and Hani close the shop together. 

You hope these lessons can help you release some stress.

Hani walks by your side, talking about everything and nothing, sharing a little laugh when you tell her that you can't wait to punch a sandbag imagining Ray's face. 

The evening is pleasantly chilly and you're almost at the gym when you ask Hani if she wants you to wait with her for Tae to arrive.

“Don't worry I'll meet him at the corner,” she reply "besides, the class has already started, you should head inside."

You look at your phone, realizing it's way past 7:30pm already and you begin to feel a little anxious. Hani then tells you to call her or Tae if you need anything, even if they're going to spend the evening at the movies, she makes sure that you know you can always rely on them.

You nod, smiling "Thanks for being there Hani, I don't know how I'd have reacted to all of this alone" You truly don't know. Hani waves her hand "Don't even joke abaut it" she replies, mirroring your smile. 

"You even talk like Tae now!"

She rolls her eyes but she knows you are just teasing her.

“I want to know everything about your first lesson tomorrow!” she emphatically throws a few empty and totally random punches. You giggle at the scene shaking your head “Sure sure- I’ll show you what I learn.” 

“As long as you don't punch me, I'm fine with it.” You push her playfully and then you say goodbye as she walks away and you enter the gym.

It seems like a recently renovated place. You expected the usual smell of sweat and plastic typical of the gyms, but you are actually surprised to catch a fresh hint of flowers in the air. You notice a small reception near the entrance door, a well decorated counter with all sorts of flyers on top and red and blue led lights that illuminate the gym logo in the front, but there is no one behind the counter to welcome you. 

You take a few steps through an arch that leads to what is apparently the main area of the gym. 

The floor is mostly covered with a rubber tatami and you see some hanging plants and flower pots by the walls, which explains the very subtle smell in the air. Different tools and dumbbells are scattered around while several people are engaged in exercises of various kinds in front of some floor to ceiling mirrors.

You scan the place, pleased by the vibe it radiates. It surely is strange to find so many flowers and plants in a place like this, but it gives an original touch to it. Your gaze lands on a bunch of guys wearing boxing gloves while observing the explanation of an exercise. The one that's explaining, according to Tae's description, should be his friend Jungkook, who is standing in front of them while performing the exercise in question as an example.

Wow. Those are some wide shoulders right there. 

You watch him intently as the dark haired guy moves. Something about his movements is attractive and you guess it's just him when he turns around and you notice the lip ring that Tae had told you about and the right arm completely full of colorful tattoos that you are already dying to curiously inspect. Yup, he's hot.

You watch him from the entrance as he performs the exercise with ease, his muscles flex and you can glimpse at them while his clothes deliciously wrap around his body. Tae could have warned you, it's gonna be hard to concentrate with this guy.

Jungkook almost seems to sense your gaze on him when, once his explanation is over, he turns towards the entrance you are standing at and your eyes meet for a moment. You tense up cursing at yourself, gawking at a complete stranger at the gym is creepy, But then you notice he's smiling while he approaches you and the group of guys he left is now performing the exercise.

"Can I help you?" 

Of course, even his voice had to be hot. Fuck. You shift on your spot, clutching the bag you're carrying on your shoulder as you hope the warmth you're feeling on your face doesn't color your cheeks.

"You must be Jungkook," you reply, feeling a little awkward. Why even the sound of your own voice sounds stupid to you right now, damn.

"In the flesh." he responds confidently, pushing his hair back with his fingers.

Ok, now it's fucking clear as day that this guy knows very well that he is good looking and that he has an effect, which makes you think that he must be used to the women eating him up with their eyes.

"And you are?" he asks with curiosity laced in his voice. 

"Uh sorry, I'm Y/N" you compose your thoughts trying to ignore the increasing awkwardness you feel explaining that "Taehyung told me about your class and I would like to give it a try." 

"Kim Taehyung? Are you two friends?" He seems surprised as his eyebrows raise.

“Yeah, his girlfriend is my best friend.” 

Jungkook chuckles by himself, amused by something you ignore. 

"You're the tattoo artist, aren't you?" he asks, smiling as if he figured a puzzle or something like that.

“Did he say I was coming?”

“Not exactly,” Jungkook replies “but I met your best friend at Tae's a few times and I heard her say your name while speaking to Tae.” He seems pleased by the coincidence. 

The fact that he remembers this small thing doesn't surprise you that much, but you start to feel anxious wondering if he happened to hear something related to your situation with Ray, you'd rather avoid talking about it. It's already difficult to deal with it with your friends, but most of all, you don't need compassion.

Jungkook observes you momentarily, and almost as if he sensed the drift of your thoughts, he beckons you to follow him towards a freer area of the gym. You follow him till you reach a set of gloves neatly arranged in one corner. 

“Can I see your hands?” he asks casually.

"Sure." You leave the bag you're carrying on your shoulder on the ground, moving it to the side so it's not in the way, then you bring your hands forward with your palms facing up to let him observe them. Jungkook gently gathers your hands, and his touch is so delicate you barely feel it. He observes carefully, humming while he tries to figure out which pair of boxing gloves would fit you well.

It's not even a proper touch, it almost feels like the slight tickle that a feather would give and it's... pleasant. You're not completely indifferent as his fingers continue to brush the back of your hands, the sensation making you feel a little shy even though he is just looking at your hands and nothing more.

"Try these" His fingers leave you to take and offer you a particular pair of boxing gloves that he thinks might fit you. You inspect them briefly, wincing a little at the sweaty feel that envelops your hands as you put them on. 

You feel your hands swimming inside, indicating that they are too big for you. You look at Jungkook asking “Do you have a slightly smaller pair?” Jungkook seems to have already considered the possibility that these were too big. He is giggling as he hands you another pair of seemingly smaller and more colorful boxing gloves and you see him try to bite back the smile that's on his pink lips. You can't help but think that the way he scrunches up his nose is actually cute.

You switch up the gloves with the colorful one, immediately understanding why he was chuckling like that. “I know, it's a big problem for me,” you admit, chuckling at your own hands, “I can't find latex gloves that fit perfectly 'cause of this” He laughs with you, amused by the smile that formed on your face when you noticed that the gloves he gave you are for children, specifically a blue and red spiderman themed pair. 

"Using the words 'big problem" just made the whole thing funnier!"

"Well, I'll throw spider punches today." you joke.

Jungkook let's out a small laugh as he is looking at you with something in his eyes, you're probably the first grown up who needs kid's gloves and you catch him subtly checking you out.

This sense of lightness, simple yet helpful for your tired mind, is doing some good to you, you can feel it as you notice that you're exchanging genuine smiles and gazes since you started talking.

You follow him, avoiding to step on the tatami with your shoes as you approach the corner with different punch bags. He stands next to you in front of one of the standing punch bags available.

“Alright- so, there's no need to throw hard punches, for now just show me how you throw them.”

"But I don't know how!" you admit.

"Exactly, I want to see your natural movements, to understand what we'll have to work on'' Jungkook replies as he crosses his arms on his chest. The motion captures your eyes for a moment too long. That sleeve tattoo looks perfectly done and you barely refrained to take a closer look, the delicious way his tatted muscles are popping out of his white t-shirt is too distracting.

"Now show me how those little hands would hit the bag" his tone has slightly changed and he is smirking at you. He's teasing purposely and you think you saw him winking at you, or maybe you just imagined it. You roll your eyes as an attempt to save yourself from the embarrassment of being caught gawking at him like that. 

You ignore the persistent warmth on your cheeks and try to remember the movements you saw earlier, as he explained to those guys. They seemed to get into position before they did anything else, so you try to imitate the movements you remember as best as you can.

You bring your left arm across your chest as your right arm punches the punch bag in front of you with ease. Jungkook's face is fully concentrated, he hums as he nods a couple of times, his gaze lost as he ponders on the movements he just saw. 

“Okay, first of all- your left arm.” Jungkook moves, putting himself between you and the punch bag. 

"Get back in position again, the one before you throw the punch" 

You promptly do what he asked, repeating the previous movements once again. You stop when your arms are folded like before and you're ready to throw the punch. Jungkook's hands move as he says "Relax your shoulders." and then they gently rest on you.

This time his touch is not a simple featherlike brush, you feel the weight of his hands resting delicately on your skin and you stiffen at the contact. He said you should relax, but his hands on you caused the opposite reaction.

Ray and his hands come to your mind, the feeling of him holding you against the glass door is fogging your thoughts again, even though Jungkook's touch is soft and gentle on you.

You wince a little, taking a step back instinctively. Jungkook immediately withdraws his hands, sensing your discomfort. 

"S-sorry, I was trying to correct your posture, I didn't mean to-"

“No- it's fine" you interrupt him, suppressing the negative emotions that started to poison your guts.

You really want to focus and learn and until now, you had no idea your ex's behavior has affected you up to this point. 

Jungkook watches you dubiously, you can't decipher the expression adorning his beautiful face right now, he seems worried, thoughtful, maybe he's wondering what kind of an idiot would want to learn how to throw punches and then reacts like this at the slightest physical contact. 

The idea of having to give up because of this sensation, pisses you off. You gulp the lump on your throat while you close your eyes briefly, then you resume the position, being careful to relax your shoulders this time.

"Better?" you ask in a calm voice. Jungkook nods with a faint smile on his face. Even if he probably noticed there's something wrong, you're glad he's not asking questions. 

"What else wasn't right?" 

Jungkook notices your determination to continue and returns to your side again, opting for a demonstrative explanation this time.

He moves his body naturally and you observe him carefully. His movements are so precise and satisfying to watch and the desire to learn, to achieve more or less this naturalness, gives you the right push to continue. Most of all, now that you know that Ray left this horrible sensation on your skin, you're determined to get rid of it. 

Jungkook explains the importance of taking a correct position, to be able to hurt and not get hurt. A faint smile returns to your face at his way of explaining this kind of thing with passion and care. 

You imitate his movements by moving your left foot forward, your left arm at your chest like before but slightly higher, until your glove touches the side of your chin. When you feel that you have planted your foot well on the ground, with a slight movement of your shoulders, you accompany your right fist towards the bag, also rotating your pelvis slightly.

And just like that, you land a perfect punch on the punch bag.

Jungkook cheers softly so as not to disturb the others but his satisfaction is evident. You smile to see him so taken for so little, but you have to admit that you feel pumped, and yes- it was only one perfectly landed punch.

“That's a great start!” he adds enthusiastically. 

"So even small hands can throw some good punches huh!" You laugh softly and Jungkook joins you, genuinely amused.

"I'm sure those little punches will be able to do a lot of harm soon!" he declares "If you wanna join the gym, of course." 

This is what you needed to hear, it gives you courage, you can't wait to feel totally comfortable with your abilities, you're ready to commit to this and Jungkook saw it, when you eagerly said "Of course I want!"

That -little episode- long forgotten when you two started to talk comfortably that evening. Jungkook took some time to explain how and when he gives his lessons and to show you around the gym as well as the female's locker room, making sure you knew you could use everything you wanted once you felt comfortable enough to train alone.

From that day, you started going to the gym almost regularly. To be honest, as time passed, you couldn't wait to get back on that tatami to train after work, it soon became a healthy habit.

And, on the other side, you could see Jungkook.

You like having him around, you and him started bantering all the time almost instantly. You got used to his presence and his ways of teasing pretty fast and he's been a breath of fresh air for you. You've been attracted to him since day one, you're not gonna lie, but he soon became some kind of a friend. 

Yeah, that kind of friend you'd gladly rip their clothes off, but whatever.

The lethal mix of wide shoulders, buff body, lip ring, tatted arm and that sweet face of his when he smiles and scrunch up his cute nose… 

Yup, you're kinda crushing on him and training with him almost everyday it's quite challenging.

You two share a nice friendship, but it's clear that something else is hidden underneath. The constant glances and flirty jokes at the gym are proof of that and from time to time you also catch him pretending not to be looking at your butt. 

You are more at ease now and that's also thanks to him and his lessons.

Everything seems to be falling back to place, if not an even better one. 

Ray has been silent since that night outside the shop. No messages, no calls, no unexpected visits, no nothing. The fear to meet him again is still persistent and sometimes the horrible things he did to you still haunt your mind, but you're now able to manage to get rid of it in no time. You're more confident, you sleep better and you're learning a bunch of new stuff that keeps your mind busy.

You feel like you're able to breathe again, like you got your life back in your hands. 

Hani walked with you to the gym a few more times after the first time, but you soon started to book an uber to go and get back. It wasn't difficult to get into a rhythm: you book it through your phone a little earlier, so you don't have to wait outside and that's it, like this you're able to close the shop and get into the car immediately and when you have to go back home, you take a shower at the gym, say your goodbyes and head outside, where your uber is already waiting for you. Simple and effective.

Just to be extra sure, you leave your lessons a little earlier, like at 9pm instead of 10pm. Better safe than sorry.

Jungkook never asked the reason why you always leave early, not explicitly at least. Sometimes he's teased you by asking if you quit training early to fight crime with your cute hands, a recurring joke you always involuntarily smile at. Tae had warned you after all, Jungkook jokes a lot and in all this time spent at the gym, training with him, you had the opportunity to see for yourself.

There's something though that seems to creep behind his eyes every now and then and you can't quite put your finger on what. Sometimes he seems extremely thoughtful or even sad, even a few moments after he just cracked a joke. 

You never had the courage to ask, just like he never asked why you reacted like that the first time he touched you. You don't want to ask him what's bothering him and apparently he doesn't want to ask you either. Jungkook began to invade your thoughts just like that, with ease, and this hidden mystery behind his beautiful brown eyes keeps drawing you to him more and more.

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#jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeon junkook fluff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jk #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook scenario #bts jungkook smut #bts jungkook angst #bts jungkook fluff #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts series #jungkook series #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts x reader #bts x you #bts au #bts au fic #jungkook au #jeon jungkook au

[bunnyreaper]

YES I DO HONEY BUN!

Let's get your most crack fic takes on how Gaz reacts to seeing spicy photos of his fellow operatives (141, Los Vaqueros and beyond, up to you!)

Like setup can be whatever you want but I'm imagining a "Hey an ex is trying to blackmail me by saying they are going to send these photos to the team so may as well pre-empt it, behold!"

you said crack fic, so I gave crack fic! admittedly not doing a good job with the prompt, but, hey ho!

your little hobby might have gotten out of hand. it started off as a silly little joke with johnny--he suggested you keep a polaroid of him on you, to really solidify your bond and friendship. 

you'd agreed, but hadn't expected him to produce the polaroid himself, and certainly not one that was just a picture of his bright smile, gorgeous torso, and admittedly delicious happy trail. it had taken you by surprise, but you felt the urge to keep your promise, and swore to yourself that one day you'd get him back with something equally as obnoxious.

from there, it had spiraled out of hand. 

simon had gotten wind of johnny's little picture, and one day approached you. you expected him to rip the two of you to pieces, but he hadn't. 

instead he slid across a polaroid of another shirtless figure, one that could be him, but with his face and tattooed arm out of frame and the alluringly lowered lighting, it's hard to tell for certain. he peered at you from behind a plain black mask as he whispered--no one will ever believe you.

price's picture had made its way into your paperwork 'accidentally'--a flattering picture of his thick, hairy stomach and broad chest, leading down to a pair of tight boxer shorts and muscular, imposing thighs. you're convinced he did it just to show them how the boys how it's done, a point of pride over his figure that is all man and not boy. all the while he maintained innocence and embarrassment at the mistake, yet he never made a move to get the photo back from your collection. 

all three photos sit in front of kyle, having spilled out from where they were hidden in the back of your phone case. he fights between confirming what he's seeing and refusing to look at all. 

different parts of him battle against each other. the first thing he felt was confusion, which quickly morphed into recognition, and then embarrassment. while the men's bodies were nothing he hadn't seen before, the polaroids all had an alluring, erotic edge to them, which brought blood rushing to his cheeks. 

it felt wrong to look, and yet he had so many questions--for them, for you.

"didn't know you were that much of a perv, love." he looks at you with a cheeky grin.

"i'm not! it's a joke, they're not for my... personal enjoyment." you scoop them back up and stuff them in your phone case, hiding them from any other prying eyes. 

"they're not?" his eyebrow arches, him clearly not believing you. "so, you just have lewds of all of our team for the laughs?" 

"something like that." you nod, desperately wishing for a change of topic, after all, it is just some overblown joke. 

a few expressions flicker across kyle's face, before he settles on a slightly wounded puppy look. "why didn't you ask me for one then?" 

"we're just friends." you explain, trying to remain straight-faced despite the emotion bubbling up inside you. 

there's a very fucking good reason you never broached the subject with kyle, and went out of your way to even hide it from him. because you knew that one look at a lewd picture of kyle would be the death of normalcy in your friendship. 

"and you're not friends with the rest of the 141?" his face shifts from wounded puppy to confused puppy, head tilted and everything.

"i am, but it's not like i want to be more than friends with them--" you rush to explain, but let out just a touch too much, revealing your long-standing crush on the man sitting across from youm "i mean..." 

"didn't know you felt the same way, love." he smiles, genuinely elated rather than smug. it's clear not just from his words, but from his tone and the look in his eyes that he feels just the same way you do--enamoured." 

you can't help but beam back, equal parts nervous and excited. "not how i planned on telling you, but yeah. with them it's just silly, with you it'd be... different." you feel your cheeks flush at the confession.

kyle leans into your space a little, and as you think he's about to take your hand, he instead takes your phone. 

he throws you a wink before he takes out the polaroids, and slips them into his pocket. "looks like I'll have to take a few pictures of my own then, replace your little collection." 

#kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick fanfic #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #call of duty x reader #call of duty fanfiction #bunny writes

[bscully]

Why Zagreus is such a good character

*Obligatory Hades spoiler ahead* Zagreus is so so so interesting from a meta perspective. While his design certainly went into the "attractive bad boy" direction, he is not your usual hyper-masculine protagonist.

Definitely not!

It starts off with his physique, which is not that of a tall, beefy body builder, but more of an ancient greek athlete. He is also shorter than most other Gods, of average size by mortal standards, and doesn’t take kindly to people making fun of his height. I find that a fascinating character design choice to make. From there, let's continue with his character.

His temperament is sanguine; he is a ray of sunshine and loves to share all the warmth that rests in his heart. Which is a fascinating trait to have as Prince of the Underworld, who is veiled in Darkness by Mother Night, Nyx, herself. The following Berserk quote comes to mind: "He who bears light exists in the deepest shadow".

(There is a big conceptual overlap between Hades and Berserk, but I’ll just leave it at that for this post)

Zagreus is a sociable, extroverted type who values family and bonds over everything, is respectful, polite, charming. From someone like him, genuine kindness and honesty are a guarantee. Together with his capacity to empathize, it allows him to form meaningful relationships. His noble spirit and attitude are befitting of a prince. He does not mind stepping out of his comfort zone and challenge himself, either.

When you first beat Hades, he asks Zagreus to tell Persephone that Cerberus is doing well. Zagreus instead demanded an answer for a question in exchange of telling her. However, this question was left unanswered as Hades was taken by the Styx before he could reply. Later on, because Zagreus is a good-natured person and knows his priorities, picking his mother’s needs over the grudge he could hold against his father, he tells Persephone anyways.

There are moments in the game where he is sensitive, observant and catches up on social cues very quickly. He listens to others and apologizes to them when he feels like he may have overstepped a boundary, such was the case when Thanatos berated him for allowing Orpheus visiting his muse Eurodyce and meddled into their affairs without their consent.

Sometimes he appears to have troubles expressing what he feels, or is perhaps insecure or anxious to express it (particularly when interacting with Meg, who is rather intimidating). But despite his hesitations and fears I think he is still doing a good job at it.

Judging from a brief conversation with Alecto, he appears to know how to form healthy habits and deal with difficult situations in a productive, nurturing manner (the fact that 1. Alecto doesn’t take kindly to his attempts at getting along and 2. Zag doesn’t like her for it, is kinda funny to me). He is capable to mediate and settle conflicts between people, this is literally one of the game's primary goals.

Judging by what happened between him and Megaera, it appears he also wasn't always this mature and went a long way learning from his mistakes. His sometimes boastful confidence and his running mouth probably were one of them. Regardless, I'm deeply impressed with Zagreus' emotional intelligence and maturity.

Considering how so many other protagonists typically are characterized, this such an unusual way to write a male one, and as such he really stands out.

I believe it is absolutely necessary that protagonists like him exist and we honestly do need more like him: as these shine a different light on nurturing masculinity and what it can be.

Zagreus is not less of a man because of the radiant and kind person he is. Quite the opposite so, I personally find him extremely attractive (he’s doing things to me oml). He is just being himself: unfiltered, optimistic, with a good sense of humor. He is not even trying to fulfill any gender roles in any shape or form, simply embracing the bonds he has for what they are, living the moment. He does whatever it takes to make the world around him a better place and make the people around him happier. And he started doing that once he stopped running away from his problems.

This reassurance is something boys and men (including those who identify as such) urgently need nowadays.

PS: I’m still not over the fact he canonically likes plushies, the lil dork

#hades game #hades supergiant #zagreus #essay

[gabseyoo]

all i am is you

pairing: fushiguro toji x fem!reader | wc: 5,2k.

summary: fushiguro toji is a smart man, smart enough to always get what he wants. and what he wants now is power, over you.

warnings: mean!toji, sub!reader, dark content, toxic relationship, manipulation, age gap, daddy issues, cheating, emotional dependency, humiliation, crying, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, oral sex (m), face fucking, hair pulling, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, crampie, aftercare, toji being an asshole tbh.

a/n: wrote this ‘cause i suddenly felt mad with toxic men, and poor toji had to pay, sorry∼. this fic is just toxic, i don't think this is my best work, but i kinda like the result, remember it's nothing but fiction and dark content, enjoy :) reblogs are appreciated <3.

Your love story with Toji Fushiguro started simply. Nothing fancy or out of a romantic comedy. 

Your eyes meeting his in a coffee shop you used to frequent, he was new there you knew, no doubt you would have noticed him before. Tall, handsome, a scar across his mouth that only made him look more attractive, and he certainly looked older. 

He was working on his laptop at a corner table in the back while you took a seat to do the same but at the other end of the cafeteria, right in front of the window. You swore you could feel his gaze on you a couple of times. 

Three days later you saw him again, same place, almost the same time. Your eyes met his again as always, but this time he smiled at you, you did the same and then tried to ignore him, which you knew would be an almost impossible mission since your eyes seemed to betray you, wanting to admire the beauty of that man. 

Two more encounters passed before the action that “broke the ice” happened; when you called the waitress to pay for your order, but she told you with a smile that your bill had already been paid. You looked at her in disbelief, thinking it was a mistake. When she pointed out that the handsome man in the back had paid it, you tried your best not to blush. You’re almost sure that the waitress wanted to punch you since you asked her if she was serious about three more times to corroborate if it wasn’t a joke or even a dream.

It was real, but there was no way you were going to let him pay the bill just like that. So after thinking long and hard, and putting aside your nerves, you got up from your seat to head over to him. 

“Excuse me? Sir?” You said in a timid voice when you were in front of him. The man stopped typing on his laptop to look at the source of the voice, smirking sideways when he noticed it was you.

“Yes?” God, his voice was attractive too. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, but—” You cleared your throat before continuing, “The waitress told me that you paid for my bill, and although I’m grateful, I can’t accept it.”

He sighed as he leaned back in the seat, crossing his arms, the smile never leaving his face. “Why not?”

“I can’t let a stranger pay for my food.” You muttered, but before he opened his mouth to say anything, you decided to continue, “Why did you do it?”

“Just because I wanted to.” He shrugged, downplaying the situation. “I don’t need another reason.” What a lie. 

“I’ll pay you back.” You said as you tried to grab your wallet, but his mocking laughter made you stop. “Why are you laughing?”

“You’re adorable.” He said it so casually, almost making you blush, yes, almost. “I won’t take the money. Don’t even try.”

“I insist.”

He rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee, you tried to stand your ground, avoiding looking at the way his arm muscles showed through the long-sleeved shirt he wore. Once he returned the cup to the table, he looked up at you again, but now more seriously. 

“You want to pay me that badly?” You nodded. “Then why don’t you sit with me?”

You opened your eyes in shock and gulped before you spoke, “What?”

“Sit with me.” He gestured to the seat in front of him before resting his chin on his hand, waiting for your decision. 

You took one last look around the cafeteria while thinking a thousand things per second. It would be okay if you accepted his proposal, right? You were in a public place, surrounded by people, he was nice, he paid for your food. Besides, he was the man who had taken over some of your thoughts with his perfect figure and the mystery that surrounded him for the last few days. 

You sighed before taking a seat, and he couldn’t be more grateful that you did. He extended his hand to you, which, somewhat nervously, you took, and he gave it a light squeeze. Wow, your hand felt pretty small compared to his. 

“I’m Toji.” You gave him a smile before telling him your name. 

Yeah. Nothing extraordinary. 

After you had the opportunity to learn more about this mysterious man, you knew there would be no turning back. Your mind was possessed by him just minutes after you sat down; not only was he handsome, but he was quite funny and interesting. Maybe it was too soon, but you liked him, and at that moment you wished that wasn’t a one time thing.  

He was a little older than you, well, a little too old. Fifteen years wasn’t a big difference, was it?

But if you didn’t care, he cared even less. 

When you first spoke in the cafeteria, Toji did so with because he wanted to take you to bed with him; you were very attractive after all. But after having a conversation with you, he wanted much more. 

You were everything he was looking for, a young, beautiful, intelligent and wealthy woman. 

But above all, manipulable. 

Toji knew you had issues. In fact, he noticed a few weeks after meeting you, when you started telling him about your family life. 

How your father never paid attention to you and was hardly ever home, leaving you thousands of dollars to spend as compensation for his lack of presence. Also, how he slept with other women and didn’t even bother to hide it. On the other hand, there was your mother, who spent her time being a depressed housewife thanks to her husband’s constant cheating, smoking and drinking at all hours. You even told him how you once heard your poor mom beg your father not to leave her even though he was the one who cheated on her. In the end, he left, leaving a void that Toji wanted to fill.

What he thought was quite nice—and sad, of course—was how calmly and normally you talked about it. As if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

Toji took his time in gaining your trust, always telling you what you wanted, or rather, needed to hear. Hiding his true intentions under a smile and nice words. He had a goal, that you fall in love with him so hard that you wouldn’t know how to live without him. And oh honey, you couldn’t have made it easier for him. 

You were just so vulnerable. You only wanted to feel loved and wanted, and he’d give you that. He would make you feel like the most special woman in the universe.

Asking you if you had eaten, how was your day, how was college, if you needed anything, buying gifts, telling you how much he loved you and cared about you. Little details that even though they are normal in a relationship, meant so much more to you. 

He knew what he was doing. 

One day, you were at his house, he was listening attentively to you telling about how your essay had been the best in your class, when you finished, he took your cheeks in his hands and gave you a short kiss before saying: “I’m so proud of you.”

You didn’t know what happened at that moment, it was as if something moved in your chest, the tears started to come on their own as you heard the words you wished you had heard all your life. 

“Honey, why are you crying?” He asked, wiping your tears with his thumbs. 

You didn’t know what to say, you weren’t even sure why his words shocked you so much, so you just hugged him and mumbled a «thank you», his mischievous smile adorned his face as he caressed your back in comfort. 

When you told your friends about him, some of them were excited about you dating an older man, but one of them was worried about you. But you justified yourself by saying that guys your age were immature and stupid, that they could never give you what someone older could, swearing that you didn’t have any issues. Toji thought you looked pretty cute when you said that. But of course, he didn’t like it at all that this friend of yours told you that he wasn’t good for you, that he might be using you and other shit. So he told you that the best thing you could do, if you wanted to stay with him, was to not listen to her words and walk away, so you did. 

You never had any suspicion of what he was doing with you, even if someone else told you, how could you? You were blinded by his love. Toji was your boyfriend, things were serious with him; your mom had met him and said she thought he was decent (Honestly, she didn’t give a shit and that played to Toji’s advantage). You met his ten-year-old son and got along well with him, the boy adored you. Everything was fine, there was no possibility that he was manipulating you. 

For his part, he couldn’t be happier with the results he was getting. You were like his trophy girlfriend. His ego soared to its limits when his friends would look at you with hungry eyes, some even wanting to make a move on you, but you wouldn’t even turn to look at them, entranced by the man holding your hand. But then, they would make fun of you behind your back, asking how you could be so foolish as to fall in love with someone like Fushiguro. And he, after laughing at his friends’ comments, would just shrug it off, telling them they were just jealous. 

After a year and a half of relationship, you were at a point where you would do anything he asked for, you couldn’t say no to him. Anything to keep him happy and satisfied, and more important, to keep him by your side. And he loved that power he had over you; he knew that if he asked you to get on all fours on the floor and bark, you would do it. But don’t worry, he wouldn’t do that, he liked you too much to humiliate you in such a way, although the idea was not out of the question. 

Fuck, he was destroying you and couldn’t even feel bad about it. 

And please, don’t think he didn’t have feelings for you, he fucking did. It may have started as a game, but it had become something close to an obsession. That’s why his actions, even if it was wrong, because he knew it was. Taking advantage of someone’s traumas wasn’t very moral, but he was never a moral man to begin with, if he was, he wouldn’t have set his eyes on you in the first place.

Yes, he loves you. But listen, it was never said that he at least tried to act like a good boyfriend and respect the relationship. 

Toji grabbed his phone from the nightstand, a picture of his beautiful girlfriend as his wallpaper smiling at him as he unlocked it to open his calling app and press your name decorated with a heart. He held the phone to his ear waiting for you to answer, at the same time, he winked and blew a kiss to the woman who at that moment was smilingly walking out the door of the motel he was at. Sure, he would never fuck other women under the roof of his house, in the place he used to share with you, in the bed where he fucked you. How thoughtful he was, someone give him a prize.  

“Hey.” You answered the call in a sweet voice. 

“Hi. How are you, baby?” He asked, getting out of bed to put on his boxers, which were lying across the room. 

“Good, I just got out of my last class. How about you, love?” You spoke as you said goodbye to your friends, who rolled their eyes when they realized that the person who had called you was your boyfriend. 

“I’m just finishing some work.” Before you could ask him what he was working on, he continued, “Have you eaten anything yet?” He placed the phone between his shoulder and his ear to put on his pants.

“No, I’m on my way to the library, I need to finish my essay.” 

“You’re such a good girl, you know?” He smiled when he heard your shy laugh as he finished putting on his shirt. “You have time for me tonight, right?”

Usually you would respond with a ‘sure’ as soon as he finished speaking, but you kept quiet, Toji clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“You don’t?”

“Hum. I wanted to tell you that—” You couldn’t control the nervousness in your voice. “A friend of mine is having a party tonight, and, he invited me.” 

“He?” His voice was an octave lower, annoyance taking hold of him.

Fuck, what did you get yourself into?

“What’s this guy’s name?” He asked.

“Satoru, but— my girl friends are going too.” 

“Look, honey. I don’t care if your friends go, but I’m offended that you’d rather go to a party than spend time with me.”

Of course, there were times when you wanted to do things outside the box that Toji liked to keep you in, and on these occasions, he had to put you in your place, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t?

“It’s not like that, I just—”

“Listen to me, you’re not going.”

“But—”

On another occasion, you wouldn’t have insisted. But for some reason you really wanted to go, maybe because of your friends’ complaints that because of your boyfriend you didn’t go out with them anymore, maybe because finals were coming up and you didn’t have time to have fun in your last months at college. Maybe it was a combination of both.  

But, even if you didn’t want to admit it, it was true. Your time was divided between two things, school and Toji. Yes, sometimes, you would go out with your friends shopping or to a coffee shop, but you preferred not to as they would always try to tell you how your older boyfriend was no good for you. Even when they were excited about the idea in the beginning, as time went on they realized many things that you didn’t. 

Toji was always jealous and possessive, even when he didn’t put into practice what he demanded so much of you. He didn’t like you going out to those college parties, where a lot of hormonal boys would be rolling their dirty eyes at you. But what was now getting on his nerves was how you thought you could just walk away to a party without even asking his opinion. He hated not being in control. 

The good thing—for him—it’s that he knew how to get his way, exactly what he had to say and do to make you submit. 

“In case you no longer want to be with me, I’ll understand.”

At that moment, you felt as if something inside you was breaking into a thousand pieces. Your stomach churned, just as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. 

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to—”

“Honey, I know what you meant, if you’d rather go to another man’s house for a party, it would be better if we break up so you can go with a clear mind.”

You stood in the middle of the campus practically shaking, while he was already inside his car, fiddling with the keys between his fingers.

It was funny how just an hour ago he was inside another woman, but here he is, making a bit of drama. That’s how blatant he was.

“Stop it! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I won’t go.” You said in the middle of your crying, trying to ignore the curious looks of passing students. “I’ll go with you, I’m sorry, it was just a stupid idea.”

A moment of silence formed, where only his breathing and your crying could be heard on the call. You felt your heart want to burst out of your chest as you waited for his answer. 

Toji just wanted to torture you a little, so after keeping quiet for a moment, he decided to answer you while a smirk formed on his face, “That’s my girl.”

You sighed with relief when you heard his words.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, wiping away your tears with your hand. 

“It’s okay, stop crying, sweetie. I’ll pick you up at eight, okay?”

The clock showed ten o’clock, you were on his couch, your body resting on his while you watched a movie. His hands were on your back underneath your shirt, occasionally caressing your skin down to your butt, covered only by your underwear since Toji had shed your shorts moments before. 

Even when his touch felt good, your mind was somewhere else.

“It’s everything okay, baby? You had been unusually quiet since we were in the car.” He whispered, taking your chin in his hand to make you look at him.

“It’s nothing.” Your answer made him frown. It was obvious what was wrong with you, but he wanted to hear it come from your pretty lips.

“What do you mean it’s nothing? Come on, tell me. I’m listening.” He sat with you still on his lap, his hands coming down to caress your thighs.  

“Promise me you won’t be mad at me.”

“Just tell me.” 

You took a deep breath, gaining courage before speaking,

“You scared me today, I really thought you were going to break up with me.” You said with some nervousness in your voice as you fiddled with the gold chain hanging from his neck.

“I would never want to break up with you, you know that. But sometimes it seems like you leave me no choice. You make me believe that you don’t want to be with me.” 

“I want to be with you, more than anything. I just wanted to hang out with my friends.” His grip on your thighs grew stronger with your words, and though you tried, you couldn’t stop the next ones, “I don’t know why that’s such a problem.”

He rolled his eyes before bringing his face dangerously close to yours, you could tell you had angered him. “You wanna know why? Do I really need to explain it?” 

“What bothers me is that you think you have the freedom to do whatever you want when you are with me.” He continued, “My opinion doesn’t matter to you?”

You gulped before answering, “It does.”

“So why are you acting like a bitch? Why was this party so important anyway?” You were looking down into your lap, trying to avoid his gaze, just like a scolded child. He cupped your face, squeezing your cheeks with his hand harder than necessary. “Don’t tell me you were expecting to see someone?”

“What? No!”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t think of any other reason. Is that Satoru guy? That’s why you wanted to go to his fucking party, huh? So he could fuck you.” 

Toji noticed how tears threatened to flow from your eyes. He knew he was exaggerating, you could never cheat on him even by mistake, but his obsession with having control over you was bigger than common sense, and if he needed to create drama, he would.

“No! He’s just my friend, I swear! I’ll never—” You tried to explain, but your words were interrupted by his.

“Shut up.”

He grabbed you by the waist to pull you off his lap and position you on the couch while he stood up to look down at you with his arms crossed, making the veins in them stand out. 

You had always felt much smaller than him, but now it seemed you were so much more.

“Maybe this is what I get for dating a younger woman.”

You felt your soul leave your body, the tears you had been holding back slipped down your cheeks. Where was all this going?

“Don’t say that.”

“I think the best would be to end our relationship here and now.” 

He turned and started walking towards his room, you quickly stood up to follow him and took his arm, making him stop a few steps away.

“Toji! Please… please.” Your voice cracked thanks to your growing tears. “I’d never cheat on you!”

He clicked his tongue and turned to look at you.

“Why are you crying? Shouldn’t you be happy? So you won’t have anyone to stop you from going to parties and fucking other men?” With his free hand he took yours to remove it from his arm. “Take this as a favor.”

No, he couldn’t leave you. He can’t. What would you be without him? You loved him. You needed him. And you would do whatever it took to keep him from leaving. 

So you didn’t think twice when you got down on your knees on the floor and grabbed the edge of his shirt. 

This wasn’t the first time you had gotten down on your knees before Toji, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last.

“Please, don’t leave me.” You begged amid sobs. “Please.”

At that moment you saw yourself reflected in your mother, those nights she begged your father not to leave. It was humiliating. But that didn’t matter, because even if it didn’t work for her, it could work for you, right?

“Why should I?” He questioned, cocking his head. 

“I’m nothing without you, please don’t leave. I love you.” You leaned your head against his leg, tears wetting his pants as your fists wrinkled his shirt. 

Toji almost felt bad. But god, seeing you on your knees begging him not to leave you, his ego went through the roof. He wished you could see how beautiful you looked at that moment. Having that kind of power over someone was such a turn-on that it couldn’t compare to the effect of any drug.

He brought one of his hands to your head, stroking your hair as a kind of comfort as you cried. 

“You love me?” You looked up at him when he whispered his question, he took the opportunity to wipe away your tears with his thumb.

“I do. A lot.” 

Toji smiled mischievously and ran his tongue across his lips before speaking.

“Show me then.”

You understood what he meant, so you quickly grabbed the band of his pants and pulled them down along with his underwear, freeing his half-hard member. You took it in your hand to start stroking it up and down. 

There was no other way you liked to please Toji more than sexually. At this point you were practically an expert in everything he liked, and you were more than proud of it. You liked to make him feel good, whatever the circumstance. And if that’s what he wanted now, you’d be more than glad to do it, much more if it would make him stay.

When he was fully erect you licked the tip which caused him to gasp  and his muscles to tense. You didn’t want to make him wait any longer, so you took him all the way into your mouth at once, moving your head back and forth, flicking your tongue at the same time as you stroked with your hand what didn’t fit in your mouth.

You put it all in your mouth, your nose bumping into his pubic hair, you managed to stick your tongue out and lick his balls. Toji threw his head back, he loved when you did that.

“Shit.” He groaned taking your hair in his fist to keep you still, so he could fuck himself into your mouth. 

His pace was brutal from the start, your tears kept falling as you did your best to breathe through your nose and avoid your gag reflex. You didn’t want to fail him.

“This is what you wanted to do with him? Deepthroat his dick like you do with mine.” He asked between gasps. 

He knew you couldn’t answer with his cock torturing your poor throat, so he continued,

“But you’re mine, right?” He smiled as he closed his eyes, feeling his climax near. “Yes—god—you fucking are.” He mumbled more to himself. 

Toji stopped moments before his orgasm, letting you enjoy a moment of freedom before he forced you to your feet by pulling your hair to kiss you, his tongue colliding with yours and biting your lip to such an extent that he could taste a little blood. 

He started walking without breaking the kiss until he was in front of the couch, where he turned you around and pushed you with your back facing him, your knees rested in the plush while you supported your body with your hands on the backrest. 

Your boyfriend remained standing to practically tear your underwear, which ended up poorly hanging from your leg. Then, he leaned in close enough until his lips brushed against your ear. One of his hands took your hair in a tight grip and the other began to caress the skin of your ass.  

“It makes me sick just thinking that you were going to put a party over me today.” He whispered, moving his hand to your crotch and begin to make circles on your clit with two of his fingers. “Who do you think you are?”

“I’m sorry.” You moaned, closing your eyes to the stimulation. Tears kept coming out of your eyes, it was amazing how you had never stopped crying. What he said kept piercing your mind.

“I know you’re sorry, baby, I know you are. But I can’t just forget about that.” Toji inserted his fingers inside you, moving them slowly in and out, wetting them with your fluids. “It just makes me wonder if I’m wasting my time with you.”

“Please, don’t say that.” His words hurt you like stabs in the chest, and he said them for that very purpose. He took the fight too far? No doubt about it. Did he care? You fucking wish.

“I can say whatever I want.”

He withdrew his fingers to take his cock and align it with your entrance, sliding the tip across your labia to lubricate himself. It didn’t take long when he pushed himself all the way inside you, groaning at the sensation of your walls around him.

He grabbed you by the hips to support himself so he could start ramming you without mercy. The sound of skin colliding echoed in the room, your body moved back and forth by the force of him thrusting his hips.

You tried to suppress your moans as you felt him sink deep inside you, but it became almost impossible when one of his hands reached down to stimulate your clit again. 

“Fuck.” He moaned when he felt you squeeze him. How could he not be obsessed with you when you were so tight? 

Toji placed his free hand on your neck as he pressed his chest against your back in an attempt to feel you closer to him. You could hear his accelerated breathing in your ear causing you to tingle. 

You felt your orgasm begin to build in your belly, he knew your body better than anyone, so he pressed his fingers a little harder and quickened his pace to make you cum faster. 

You threw your head forward on the backrest when you finally reached your high, your legs faltered but Toji didn’t give you time to recover after the explosion of pleasure you felt as he chased his own climax, feeling in heaven when you came around his cock.

He put one leg up on the couch to give himself better support so he could thrust deeper into you as he moved his hands to dig his nails into the flesh of your hips. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He announced amidst his groans. 

You didn’t even get a chance to tell him to pull out when he was already filling your pussy with his warm cum. He even continued to slide in and out at a slow pace until he was sure he was done. 

Toji stayed inside you for a few minutes while he caught his breath before pulling out of you, he also spent a few seconds appreciating how his white liquid came out of your hole before adjusting his pants and taking off his shirt to use it to clean the excess fluids from your bodies.

Once he finished, he tossed the shirt across the room to sit on the couch next to you, patting his lap as a cue for you to sit on it. 

“Come here.” 

You did as he said, his hands automatically going to the skin of your ass to caress it as he began to leave wet kisses on your neck. You brought your hands to his head to stroke his black hair gently in an attempt to relax him. 

His green eyes met yours, he took advantage of the eye contact to appreciate your beauty. God, he felt so lucky to have a woman like you wrapped around his finger. 

“You’re so pretty.” He sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. You smiled at his praise, your cheeks blushing slightly. 

“Toji? Is everything okay between us now?” You asked nervously. 

“It is, honey, don’t worry.” He replied squeezing your cheek a little. “You just have to understand that I want the best for both of us. What you did today made me believe that my opinion doesn’t matter to you.”

“It does matter. What you think is much more important than a stupid party.” You said, and he gave a half smile.

He placed a short kiss on your cheek before adding, “And I have to admit, it makes me insecure about you going to those kinds of parties, full of college boys that you might like better than this old man you’re dating.”

Yes, he was playing the victim. But you didn’t see it that way, you just saw your poor boyfriend feeling insecure because of you.

“I only want you, you know that, I don’t care about other guys, least of all those immature college guys.” You gave him a short kiss on the lips before continuing, “I’m sorry again, I don’t want you to feel that way ever again because of me.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged.

“I love you.” You said wrapping your arms around his torso, resting your head on his shoulder. 

When you could no longer see his face, Toji smiled mischievously. Once again he had made you cry, once again he had made you beg on your knees for him, once again he had gotten away with taking advantage of your vulnerability. He destroyed you once again and still didn’t feel bad about it. 

He kissed your head before whispering in your ear, 

“I love you too.”

#𐀔 — mar wrote this. #— one shots #— jjk #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji fic #jjk x reader #toji smut #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #toji x you #jjk toji

[painting-warhammer]

Solitaire in the style of Vriska Serket (Homestuck)

Just in time for 4/13! Commentary under cut.

The Lessons Learned

#1: Learn As Much As You Can Before Letting Your Mini Anywhere Near A Brush

As first figures go, this was honestly not as bad as it could have been, but I am an outlier. (and the second figure would be much worse.) Since the proverbial canvas was so expensive, it was a lot of "measure twice, cut once."

This was the main thing I used, and save for the face looking like chewed-up bubblegum, it came out relatively okay for a first try. Overall, this guy's a legend and this would be far from the only video of his I would reference.

#2: It's Okay To Be Inspired

What really hooked me on Warhammer in general is that you can paint things in your style. This is appealing at first, but if you're not an artist, you're going to be exposed quickly in the worst way possible, and that's by the color wheel theory. If you don't understand contrast and coomplements, all the technique in the world won't save your figure from looking like an eyesore.

This is where "established" characters that you are mimicking end up being your saving grace. If canon material is your bag, that works: You certainly won't lack as far as exact guides then! But in my opinion, you learn a bit more by improvising and trying to make something similar to an established character. Chances are they're popular because they have an appealing color scheme. As it happens, Vriska's various blue motifs really complement her orange, which is something I never realized way back when.

Also, reinterpretation was inevitable. I had initially considered freehanding the sun symbol on her lapel, but when everything was smaller than my pinkie, I just settled for making her jewels yellow. The real masterstroke was taking the Harlequin's Kiss weapon and recoloring it as the Warhammer (oh hey) of Vrillyhoo.

I just took the general colors and used Spiritstone Red on the rounded bits, and made something analogous to it. It's still the neatest part, imo.

#3: The Best Way To Start

For every color, I had a swatch. I had one base color, which I then doused in a shade, and then added one layer paint as the main color and one shade lighter for highlights.

#4: How To Make A Shiny Figure

There's a special paint called Ardcoat that puts a glossy texture on, but something that's a little more muted that gives a shine is... shade paint! I didn't shake the paint pot enough and created a fun glossy texture that you can see on her knee. (I learned how I accidentally did this by asking at my local Warhammer shop, lol)

#5: Don't Be Afraid To Make Mistakes

I'm sure there's more than just this wrong with this figure, but the Solitaire is supposed to be leaping off that little rock there. There were glyphs where I was able to put in a glowing line of Baharroth Blue that was watery enough that it filled in the little gaps on its own. It looked fantastic once...

Unfortunately, I overfilled my brush and it sloughed over into the other creases and ruined the whole effect. I also slopped Mordant Earth onto the stones and made it too ugly.

But that's just it. As much prep work as I was going in with, there was always going to be a mistake, and on a personal psychic level it feels bad when you make it. It ruins a whole day of painting lol. And you can't really stop those emotions, but you should at least try.

#6: You're Not Married To Your Army

It's inevitable that getting your first figure leads you to think about a whole army of them, but I had this distaste in my mouth when I thought about making more than one Vriska. For one, I didn't like any of the other Harlequins or Aeldari, or more importantly, I couldn't think of fun color schemes for them. The thought came to mind to make the ships similar to the Batterwitch/Condesce, but they were too similar color-wise (and even in the symbology!) where it just felt redundant. I get a special kick out of making something different from the boxart, because that's the point in my opinion.

I coped for a while: Green stuff or 3D print horns for the other figures to make them trolls? Suck it up and just use Vriska's color scheme for the others? In the end, I just gave up and called this a practice run. This is still my favorite figure. I'm just happy the first one turned out so nicely, relatively speaking, so I don't really have a lump of paint surrounding what was once a figure like a lot of first-time painters.

But no worries. Because I'd definitely fuck up the next one. 😅 That's for a new post.

#Homestuck #Vriska Serket #painting warhammer #Games Workshop #Warhammer #Warhammer 40K #WarhammerCommunity #Warhammer 40000 #wh 40k #WH40K #Warhammer40K #WarhammerPainting #Miniature Painting #Painting miniatures #Mini Painting #Aeldari #craftworld eldar #harlequins

[msmischief101]

Steo Prompt Request:

When Character A turns up at his rivals's door to yell at him, but Character B has a fever and mistakes him for a dream, then when Character A checks his temperature Character B leans into his hand, covering it with his own and says, "Stay ... You never stay."

a/n: sorry, it took me a hot second to write this. I hope you like it. And thank you so much for the prompt! 💖

~~~

“Theo, I swear to— fuck.”  Stiles bangs his fist against the door once more for good measure.  

Three rooms down, a door swings open. Out pops the disheveled head of Donovan, Theo’s feral frat brother. He’s still sporting a black eye from the lacrosse ball Kira not-so-accidentally chucked at his face after one too many stupid comments on Stiles’ behalf. 

Stiles pins him with a glare. “You want another one of those?” 

Donovan opens his mouth, ready to argue, then purses his lips. A variety of emotions crosses his features — too fast for Stiles to decipher, but most likely none of them good. He probably still has a lot to say about yesterday's humiliation, but he slams the door shut instead. Surprising, albeit better this way. There is no way this would’ve been resolved peacefully with how pissed Stiles is at Theo, who still hasn’t opened is fucking door.  

Narrowing his eyes, Stiles whips around again, glaring at the immovable object. He could break into Theo’s room easily enough, but even Stiles has enough decency not to do that — especially if he’s running the risk of watching Tracy lounge in Theo’s bed. Naked, probably. He scrunches up his face. 

This really needs to stop. 

“Theo!” Stiles bellows once more, ignoring someone else yelling at him. He doesn’t care. Not at all. They’re lucky he waited until 6 am because he would’ve been ready to strangle Theo at 3 am too. Maybe he should’ve done it. It is entirely possible Theo’s door would have been open at that time.  

Fine.

He’s going to get into this room one way or another. 

Before he’s got the chance to move away, however, the lock clicks and the door creeps open. 

Theo looks, for the lack of a better word, terrible. His skin is pale, his eyes glossy, and he leans heavily on the door, almost like his legs won’t be able to support him for very long. He blinks at him, slowly, and leans towards Stiles for a moment before swaying back. It takes everything in him not to grab Theo before he falls on his ass. Come to think of it, Theo wasn’t really himself yesterday. Usually, he is the one to step in when Donovan takes it too far. Yesterday, however, Kira ended the argument.

Maybe that’s why.  

All of Stiles’ anger evaporates at once. That would certainly explain Theo’s weird text message. ‘Can you stop looking at me like you hate me?’. Sure, that text message could’ve been sent to him by accident – except Theo doesn’t make accidents like that. He lets out a breath and reaches for Theo’s face. His pink cheeks are already telling Stiles everything he needs to know, yet he’d rather make sure.  

Carefully, he brushes his fingertips over Theo’s forehead. It’s slick with sweat, and strands of hair cling to it. Stiles barely resists the urge to run his fingers through Theo’s hair. All the feelings he’s buried deep, deep threaten to spill out at once. Stiles grinds his teeth, forcing himself to swallow each and every single one of them, and puts the back of his hand against Theo’s forehead instead.  

As expected, he’s burning up. 

Theo makes a soft sound in the back of his throat and grabs Stiles’ hand, keeping it pressed against his skin – almost as if it helped him cool down somehow. “Stay,” Theo mutters, eyes closed. “You never stay.”

Stiles opens his mouth, ready for a scalding remark. The words, however, get stuck somewhere just underneath his jaw, refusing to roll over his tongue. He can’t even bring himself to pull his hand away. After all, Theo isn’t wrong. Stiles never stays, but Theo was the one who left. Sure, Theo was ten and didn’t exactly have much of a say in his parents’ plan, and while not living in the same city hurt like hell, what broke Stiles was the radio silence. Theo simply up and vanished as if he never even existed in the first place. 

And then he returned, acted like nothing ever happened, like he didn’t break little Stiles’ heart. 

“Please.”

It’s breaking all over again, just for an entirely different reason. “Okay,” Stiles whispers, allowing Theo to drag him into his bedroom. If Stiles is entirely honest, he’s doubts Theo has been fully aware of what’s happening around him. Considering he’s asleep before his head hits the pillow, Stiles wonders if he's even been fully awake at all. He drags the blanket over Theo’s sleeping form and turns away. Leaving would be the right thing to do. Theo probably didn’t mean for him to stay. Maybe he couldn’t even tell who was standing in front of him.  

Nevertheless, he can’t bring himself to leave. Growing up with a sick mother made Stiles hesitant of leaving sick people unattended. Most of the time, he is overreacting. Still, Theo seems completely out of it, and a high fever could turn bad quickly – and Stiles doubts Donovan is going to take care of Theo, or anyone here, really. The people Stiles would consider Theo’s friends aren’t part of this fraternity. Stiles would like to believe that not even Theo would be here if not for his father’s insistence on keeping up appearances. 

Or maybe he’s just hoping that’s the case. After all, Stiles hasn’t seen Theo for eight years. 

Sighing, Stiles strolls through Theo’s room. It’s clean, almost sterile, with white walls and no personal belongings aside from the stuff related to his studies. When Theo was a kid, his bedroom was full off clutter, little league trophies, pictures of his friends and sister, books and DVDs, clothes, and half-finished paintings. His bedroom used to be lived in. Now, everything’s at its designated spot and the room feels as if someone sucked out all its life. 

No thanks to Mrs. Raeken’s influence. 

He is still snooping quietly, flipping through books, opening drawers – when else would he have the chance, right? Maybe he can find something to kick Theo out of the lacrosse team. The guy loathed lacrosse when he was younger. Besides, he’s also on the football team. If he quit lacrosse, his coach would make him captain at once – and who wouldn’t want to be captain of the football team? It comes with glory and lots of sex.

Then again, Theo can probably get his dick wet whenever he wants.

Stiles grimaces at the thought, hating that he immediately thinks of Tracy. It’s hard to tell how Theo feels about her, but Tracy is head over heels. Just thinking about it makes Stiles’ clench his teeth. His stomach hardens. He hates her. Irrationally so, he’s fully aware of that. They’ve met twice at parties, and all Tracy did was hang onto Theo’s arm as if she turns into dust the second, she lets go. If only she weren’t so fucking pretty with her long brown hair and perfect figure. Then again, she’s not particularly smart. Kira mentioned she’s failing a few of her classes because she struggles with the general coursework and is more interested in everything that’s not her studies. That’s a big fat minus in Theo’s book. If he took anything to heart his parents drilled into him from a young age, it’s that a good education, determination, and the pursuit of a goal are extremely important.

Even if they were in any form of relationship now, it would never last. Theo would never settle down with someone like her. He’d be more interested in someone like-

Stiles gives his head a shake.

Nope. Not going down that road.

It’s probably a good idea to get his mind off Theo for a while. He spent so much time snooping; the sun is already setting.

Scrunching up his face, Stiles sits down at Theo’s desk and drags the laptop towards him. It’s a long shot, really, but his passwords for everything used to be his nickname for his sister and Theo’s grandmother’s birthday. Knowing his luck, it might be a different one now. Still, it’s worth a shot if he doesn’t want to end up spiraling until Theo wakes up again. He opens the laptop up, trying to remember Grandma Raeken’s birthday, when the background picture causes his heart to skip a beat. 

Oh.

Staring back at him are Tara, with the biggest and proudest grin on her face, ruffling her little brother’s hair. Theo is mid-movement to put his Little League cap back on, scowling up at his sister. Then there is Stiles himself, just nine-years old, Little League trophy clutched in his hands, doubling over laughing. 

This very moment happened exactly two months before the Raeken’s move, and six months before Tara’s death. She looked so incredibly happy here. 

“I hated it when she did that.”

Stiles jolts and slams the laptop shut, wincing a little at the sound of the impact. “You’re awake,” he says and pushes his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. Although Theo doesn’t look much better, the additional couple hours of sleep he’s gotten seemed to have cleared his head. His eyes look a lot more focused now; their intense stare rooting him to the spot on his chair.

“You’re here.” Theo’s tone is even, calm. His eyes narrow slightly, assessing the situation as his gaze flicks from Stiles to the laptop and back again, now focused on Stiles’ hand as he makes a dismissive gesture. “I didn’t think you were actually here.”

Furrowing his brows, Stiles lowers his hands into his lap. “You thought I was a fever dream?” Stiles quirks a brow. If that’s the case, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to get Theo to a hospital to get checked out. Now, however, he seems a lot more awake and aware of everything going on around him. “Is that why you sent me that stupid text?” Because that is why he’s here. Not to take care of Theo. Not to drive him to a doctor. He’s here because Theo has the fucking audacity to act offended by Stiles’ glaring at him.

Theo visibly winces and turns to look out the window. “That’s why you’re here.”

“You know,” Stiles says, getting to his feet with a shake of his head, “if you didn’t constantly try to upstage me in everything I do, I wouldn’t look at you like that.”

“Upstaging you?” Theo stares at him again, brows raised in utter confusion. “I’m not upstaging you.”

Stiles huffs out a breath and sits down again. That’s just ridiculous. Theo is and always has been one of the most competitive people in the world. He wants, no, he needs to be on top. Always and in absolutely everything he’s doing. While in the few classes they’re sharing, Stiles remains to be the winner – although Theo is very close behind – there’s nothing he can do in Lacrosse. Theo came in, rained on his parade, and too his spot as Co-Captain from him with no issue at all. That’s absolutely no cause for concern regarding his scholarship, it was still a nice feeling after his shitty high school experience. Plus, it’s Theo. Who hates lacrosse. Who is already co-captain of the football team. Who is just pissed that Stiles hasn’t welcomed him back with open arms.

“I’m just trying-“ Theo stops himself, pressing his lips together. “We used to be best friends.”

“And then you fucked off and acted like I didn’t even exist,” Stiles whispers.

Closing his eyes, Theo sinks back into his pillows. “I thought it was easier to lose you all at once than over time.” The words are sharper than any knife could ever be. It's a talent Theo has always possessed. Looks like he’s got the chance to refine it over the years.

Stiles isn’t any less successful in hitting where it hurts, but the words took all of his fight away in one foul swoop. He presses his hands together and stares at the ground. “Why’d you never—” but Stiles cuts himself off with a wince. How could Theo have ever said anything at all? Stiles made sure to flee the scene as quickly as possible whenever he appeared.

You never stay.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he gets up from the chair and crosses the room. Stiles kicks off his shoes without hesitation. It’s either now or never; if he doesn’t stay this time, Theo is not going to give him another chance, not when he’s opening the door this wide.

Theo draws his brows together. “What are you doing?”

Stiles tosses his jacket over the chair. “I’m staying,” he says resolutely, briefly glancing at Theo before he climbs over him and settles next to his head.

“Stiles, I’m sick.”

“Yeah, well…” Stiles doesn’t really have anything to say to that. Staying now most definitely will only make him sick as well, but he’d rather get sick than lose Theo like that again. “Just sleep,” he whispers, gently tugging the blanket up over Theo’s shoulders. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Theo raises his brows, and his eyes roam over his features almost as if he’s trying to catch him in a lie. Then he smiles. “Okay,” Theo whispers and closes his eyes, settling into a comfortable position next to him.

Despite knowing better, Stiles runs his fingers through Theo’s short stands. It would be best for him to ignore the way his heart rejoices at the way Theo smiles because of this simple touch. Stiles closes his eyes and leans his head back. He’s fucked. He’s so thoroughly fucked.

Stiles glances down at Theo again, unable to hide his smile this time.

Unless… maybe he’s not.

#steo #stiles stilinski #theo raeken #teen wolf #stiles x theo #theo x stiles #*tv:teen wolf #*w:complete #*s:steo

[antianakin]

Maybe it's my personal bias, but a dark Ahsoka trying to get back in to the WBW because the whole mess from Anakin and then never actually processing her feelings, grief, anger etc leading her to thinking she can "fix" everything by "saving" Anakin. Not really thinking of the repercussions.

And have it be that she isn't trying to change the timeline for selfless reasons, but because she wants Anakin back. That misplaced sort of blame that comes when you over idolize someone. It was only Palpatine's fault, she tries to believe, Anakin wouldn't have done this all unprompted.

In trying to get back to the WBW having her actually process her emotions and the events and realize she's putting herself and her former master on pedestals to cope. Gradually working on herself.

Or not. Idk having Ahsoka unhealthily cope with grief in a way almost paralleling Anakin (trying to cheat death for Padme and failing anyway) sounds cool to me. Or maybe I'm just exhausted.

This would certainly make a real cool AU! The one thing making me hesitate is that she explicitly says while in the WBW in Rebels that Ezra can't save his master just like she can't save hers and never shows any real inclination towards trying to use it to save Anakin. So if you went with this concept, you'd have to figure out why she changed her mind on it or you'd just have to pretend like that moment didn't happen.

But in general I think that the idea really works! Like, I wouldn't want her to actually MAKE IT to the WBW or anything, I don't want any weird time travel shenanigans for her to mess with, but I think the idea of her TRYING to get back to it so she can fix Anakin, or fix what she did wrong or something could be a really interesting goal for her to have throughout a season where she's dealing with her Anakin feelings. Especially if we assume she's slightly fucked up from Malachor and its Sith bullshit in addition to her regular emotional struggles.

And in the she has to give it up. Like maybe she finds a way to do it, a way to open one of those doors, but doing so would have some sort of consequence and she has to choose between her selfish desire to "save" Anakin and fix what she believes are her own mistakes, or keeping that particular consequence from happening. Maybe people she's grown close to over the course of the story will be killed or put at risk if she opens the door, and she has to let it go, let ANAKIN go, in order to protect them.

That version of Anakin is gone, he's dead, and the version of him that exists now is clearly unwilling to be saved, at least by her, and all she can do is accept that and move on. Let go of her guilt, let go of her fears, just... let go. MAYBE her choice to leave the Order spurred him down that path, but maybe it didn't. Maybe Anakin made his own choices based on things entirely unrelated to her. Maybe if she'd been there she could've helped him, but maybe she'd have just been killed with all the rest. She'll never know and she has to come to terms with that before she can move forward with her life. She might've left first, but Anakin left her, too, and he took everything else she loved with him when he did.

In an ideal world, this would lead Ahsoka to do a lot of reflecting on her past with Anakin as she tries to figure out how far back she'd have to go to "save" him and she realizes just how dark he already was when she knew him and ultimately realizes that HE WAS DARK WHEN SHE MET HIM. There were things that happened to him, things he'd probably already chosen to DO, long before she'd met him that were already taking him down the path to darkness, things she'll likely never know or understand. But it allows her to see Anakin so much more truthfully than she'd ever done before. No longer does she view Anakin through the rosy lens of childhood hero worship, she can see how often he struggled with his own darkness and the ways it impacted their relationship, the way it's continuing to impact her NOW.

There were good moments, and she'd loved him, but he was dark long before she knew him and that's something she HAS to accept about him if she's ever going to let him go. There were things Anakin did to her that weren't okay, there were things Anakin taught her that were wrong and caused her to start down her own darker path, and until she can recognize that Anakin FAILED HER, she'll never be able to find her way BACK. She'll never be a Jedi until she acknowledges this very important and vital truth about Anakin and her apprenticeship under him. He WASN'T a good master and he WASN'T a good Jedi. He was sometimes a good PERSON, but he'd ultimately decided to leave that behind, too. He wasn't the person she'd thought he was and unless she wants to become him, she has to acknowledge where he made mistakes so she can keep from making the same ones herself.

So yeah, I think this idea has a LOT of merit and could definitely be a very interesting path to take Ahsoka on!

#star wars #ahsoka tano #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #god i hate ahsoka claiming he was a 'good master' in the ahsoka show #i think there is a difference between ahsoka acknowledging he had goodness in him and they had good MOMENTS #and ahsoka acting like he was genuinely a good MASTER #they aren't the same thing nor do they have to be #she DIDN'T know anakin #she DIDN'T understand him #and a lot of what anakin taught her is what has caused her the most pain #anakin's teachings are what ultimately led her on a path away from the jedi #anakin's teachings are what cause a rift between her and the jedi #personally i feel like instead of having ahsoka apparently thinking only negative things about anakin #and then having to decide no actually he was good #i would've had her go the OPPOSITE direction to follow up on her rebels personality #ahsoka REFUSES to accept the truth about anakin and wants to save him because she doesn't think he'd have ever chosen this #not without some kind of mind control #and on that path she has to recognize that actually anakin wasn't that perfect kind master she'd chosen to see him as #anakin had darkness and attachments and he struggled with it A LOT #and it was anakin's failure that left her floundering #and she'll only be a jedi herself when she can see anakin for WHO HE ACTUALLY WAS #he was selfish and he was greedy and he was irresponsible and insensitive and impatient #he was a bad teacher and until she can acknowledge that she'll always be walking a path AWAY from being a jedi

[hereforthefunnyguys]

I will talk to you about fragileshipping.

Give head cannons please (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

OKAY OKAY OKAY... Let's get it on!!!! (ty for this lol) Sorry my first part of this is just propaganda for them then I'll do headcanons <3.

So the first thing here that I find fascinating is that despite the fact we get to see Ryou and Atem interact very little in canon, what we do see establishes that Atem is very very very worried about Ryou and genuinely does want to take care of him (see: the shadow duel between yb and yy on the KaibaCorp blimp aftermath). Also bonus fact: Atem cradles Ryou after the fight in the exact same way Anzu (who expresses a canonical romantic and at least very strong platonic interest in Atem) does with him a few hours later with Yami Marik's shadow game, so take from that what you will.

Second of all, as I have mentioned before, I do think they would have this interesting dynamic where Ryou really wants A) a fantasy world, B) a lack of responsibility, and C) someone to be his friend for Ever and Ever (said slightly threateningly), and Atem A) is basically a fantasy trope come to life that promises Grand Adventure, B) is willing to take responsibility for Literally Anything ever, including things that are not his fault, and C) wants to take care of all his friends and collects people who like him like keychain charms. So already you have that particular dynamic with potential for chemistry going on, and it could either go Bad (mutually destructive flaws that they mistake for working well together), Good (helps pull each other out of their respectively Very Bad situations), or a secret third thing (lifelong mutual obsession that keeps them alive and well but also very codependent.) Lots of stuff going on there already.

But I digress, you wanted headcanons. So!

It did Not start with the rescue romance fantasy on Ryou's part. Ryou was very grateful and all for the help Yami Yugi provided with the whole "killer monster world" thing, but ultimately considered it a group effort on the part of his new friends.

By contrast it Absolutely started with the rescue romance fantasy with Atem. He did not realize it at the time because he is Out Of Touch with his emotions but it most certainly started with seeing someone so very much like his dear partner stuck in a terrible situation that he really wants to help with but can't stay to monitor all the time. However it did not progress further until:

Ryou got interested when he heard/figured out Atem was a ghost/spirit. You mean there are Other Ghosts in the world? That do not try to make my life miserable and call me a loser when I'm trying to do my homework? Thats so cool!

I think in contrast to Yugi - who considers Atem's more "creepy" qualities useful but also slightly worrying - and most of his other friends - who consider these qualities actively disturbing and try to ignore them (Anzu "Shadow Games are hot" Mazaki notwithstanding) - Ryou is very much Into It. He is obsessed with how shadow games work. What do you mean you can just summon psychic fire out of thin air but only if the game demands it??? Thats amazing. Do you want to get married (said in that characteristically Ambiguously Joking Ryou voice)

So it is also a very new feeling to Atem of not having to worry about showing off those qualities, and you know, it's kind of nice to have someone appreciate your more freaky qualities! But also he is simultaneously repressing them around Ryou because they remind him of how uncomfortably close he seems to acting like the Spirit of the Ring at times, which then adds another layer of Worry onto his relationship to Ryou

I got off topic again didn't I

Anyways Ryou is constantly playing Supernatural (Deconstructed Mix) by kesha in the bg whenever Atem is there

Atem is Panicking and Dying to try and figure out how to send a gift that sufficiently states "Sorry I had to Run Your Body Over With the Power of God Do You Still Like Me" without seeming too desperate

Ryou is obsessed with the mysterious demon and doesn't know the mysterious demon is actually his guardian angel

I think Atem is willing to sit through So Many bad horror movies for Ryou's sake but he does actually really love Monster World

They are going on a dinner date where Ryou introduces Atem to all the pastries he missed out on since Ancient Egyptian times, including that wonderful concoction known as chocolate

I don't know if this is what you wanted but

I'm in love with them esp the idea of Millennium Item swap au's aughahah

I need to see more of their canon interactions I'm dying here

In conclusion:

#fragileshipping #atem #yami yugi #ryou bakura #yugioh #ygo #asks #my stuff #thanks for asking. this is uh. nigh incomprehensible I think

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Katsuki with an gn artistic darling

Request(ed?): Yes! - Hi!! Can I request katsuki with his darling who is artistic in drawing? Love your work :)))) — requested by 🖤 anon.

Warnings: Cursing(?) And possessiveness.

Authors Note: Sorry if this is shorter than my other headcanons, I wrote this on my phone while eating dinner, so excuse me if there is any mistakes! This was super duper fun to write!!!!!

Unbelievably the most possessive over your art; hanging them up in the hallways and taking them to work to show off how damn awesome your art is.

He will never, ever get rid of your drawings; no matter how 'bad' or 'meme-like' they are. Some of them that are the most important to him, are kept in a small box under the bed you two share.

Katsuki will try to give you ideas whenever you have artist block, whether implying to draw him, an animal, or something detailed; he's all up for it and is more than willing to try to help.

Katsuki is super supportive of your artistic ways; seeing that it makes you extremely happy and content. Whenever he sees your eyes light up or hands moving to express the way of your mind in detailed words, he can't help but smile, letting you rant on and on about your ideas. He especially loves the way your face shines whenever he comes home with new drawing supplies or a sketchbook that was very much needed.

He buys the most expensive supplies for you, never knowing which one is the best so he tends to have (6) six or more bags of art supplies, maybe some limited edition pencils (of him).

At some point, he has tried asking you to help him draw or at least teach him but because of how impatient he is: he ended up breaking the pencil(s). So, he usually leaves it up to you, though, he always observes from beside you.

Katsuki is a man of steel, rarely does he cry or get emotional; but, when you decide to draw something for him, there's a moment of comforting silence between you two. He will open his mouth a couple of times before grasping you into a bear hug, kissing your head while he mumbles along the lines of a small 'thank you, I appreciate you so much.'

Whenever he comes home from a long day, he will go through your sketches (with your consent) and just take in your art styles and detailed work; completely at the loss of words. This goes along the lines of him asking you to show him your work, being so in touch with your work.

When you and he are hanging out together, whether cuddling in the living room or bedroom, sometimes he will watch you draw in your sketchbook, noticing the small details on your face: your tongue sticking out, hands gripping the pencil, eyebrows tweaking from time to time, and the extreme focus on the art. Even now, you look so pretty.

If you ever decide to draw nude bodies, whether for research on the anatomy or just for fun, he's gonna certainly gonna suggest using him as a portrait, going along the lines of saying: "I can pose for you, why look at those 'boring people'."

—

Masterlist | Requests are open! (8/7/2022)

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

#yandere blog #kokeshi!! #yandere #yandere male #male yandere #yandere anime #yandere x reader #yandere tendencies #yandere masterlist #yandere headcanons #yandere katsuki headcanons #yandere katsuki #yandere pro hero #yandere bakugo katsuki #yandere bakugo x reader #yandere bakugou #yandere Dynamite #yandere hero katsuki #yandere katsuki x reader #yandere bakugou x reader #yandere x gender neutral reader #yandere my hero academia #yandere mha x reader #yandere mha #yandere bnha x gn reader #yandere bnha x y/n #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere boku no hero academia #requested by 🖤 anon

[tabithatwo]

HONEST QUESTION by why do u think no one (until shauna did at their fight) ever called jackie out on being oblivious to other people’s feelings? Like we all know jackie is never mean on-purpose nor does she ever want to cause any harm but there are times where she has no idea that she is indeed doing so.. or is somehow influencing that.. And its like why has no one else ever tried voicing this out to her? BC we can clearly see she would’ve done something to change her behavior if it was pointed out. I just dont get why no one tried to other than the fact that it was probably just pretty privilege or people just being too scared to say so

WELL okay this question really got me thinking lmao my answer is sort of twofold so walk with me here…I don’t fully think jackie IS oblivious to other peoples feelings and I don’t think people have any issues calling her out when she misreads tone. The people who do tend to snap at the others when they say stuff that annoys them—off the top of my head shauna (obviously lol), tai, nat, mari, and van—all do at jackie at some point.

I think in canon, with the group as a whole, jackie is actually very in tune with their emotions. She corrals them at the kegger and they genuinely react positively. I think she’s honestly extra in tune with people’s emotions, perhaps partly because has to work a little harder at things. I think that’s why she’s captain.

When I say “off” in my original post, I mean that I think people can sense the way that someone picks up on and addresses behavior (aka loading time/processing/trying to problem solve when that isn’t what’s desired/etc) more than I mean that jackie is saying shit that upsets people regularly. I think that, other than shauna, jackie doesn’t upset them much more than anyone else until later in the season when things get bleaker.

Once they’re in the woods, jackie has lost her entire social script. It’s funny to me how people say she was the enforcer of society, because really I think society has kicked her ass and she’s simply learned how to exist within it and doesn’t know how to adapt to change. This isn’t the setting she’s used to, she doesn’t know how the people she’s learned and adapted to will react to these things, because who the fuck does?? It’s now unpredictable and she’s just really lost in a compounding way. We see her actually cheer people up again when things fall back into a script that she has access to—the seance, doing mistys makeup for her, etc.

As far as shauna goes, she has NO problem letting Jackie know when she’s upset with her lol. She just gives her no clue why. Shauna doesn’t communicate her feelings with anyone really and she certainly doesn’t delve into big picture things. (There’s a tai shauna tangent here that I’ll go on one day but besides that relationship, shauna is really just closed off and expects people, especially jackie, to read her mind.) Shauna snaps or gives the cold shoulder and Jackie adjusts and readjusts, until she’s fixed it the best she can.

I think that shauna’s reaction to being called out for cheating with jeff is something that greatly colors a lot of peoples’ views on jackie, when really it says a whole fucking lot more about shauna herself. Shauna is a horribly fucking unreliable narrator. We see her get confused and forget what her own lies are when she’s fessing up to callie about adam. She was writing her own narratives and letting resentment build even before the crash. So to me, taking what shauna says during that fight at face value, over what we actually see of jackie and their relationship, is a mistake. Shauna’s backed into a corner. She’s caught out. Little miss I’m with homeland security, first panic instinct is to lie is going to make shit up. She was trying to hurt jackie. That was the goal. For a myriad of reasons—I love shauna shipman don’t get it twisted lol. (And we see jackie realize shauna is tying to hurt her. Jackie tries to hurt back for a bit and she sucks at it lol and then she slips back into shocked hurt.)

So anyway, yeah. I think shauna clearly felt overshadowed, but she just does. In general. All the time. We got to see that in 2x09 when she spells it out for us in her journal lol. So using this scene to read jackie as someone who actually does the things shauna is accusing her of feels like a big jump to me.

Shaunas feelings were real. But I don’t fucking think shauna hated soccer. I don’t think jackie ever actually pushed her into her shadow, unintentionally or not. I think that jackie couldn’t navigate shauna’s emotions in any way other than placating when she could and trying to cling to her, because she was constantly terrified that shauna would leave her. Why did jackie expect shauna to go to rutgers? Probably because that’d been their entire fucking plan and jackie had no way of knowing that shauna didn’t want that anymore. I’m gonna talk more about their fight one day when it isn’t a tangent on a different topic lol, but basically I think reading what shauna says in the fight as truth is a common and inaccurate take.

To the last point, I think prettiness definitely impacts a person’s life on like every scale and makes people overlook things they might not normally, but I don’t necessarily feel like jackie got off with no feedback basically. And I don’t think she was actually that hurtful. I’ve talked about the nat situation here and how it’s unique, but that isn’t jackie being oblivious, that’s jackie trying to get an outcome. She is clearly oblivious sometimes (when she tries to give a pep talk post insane leg breaking lol, when she tells travis about who nat has hooked up with, when she is pragmatic about things like rationing food) but really she rarely says overtly hurtful shit, even on accident. She does less so than the other girls.

So I think it all comes back to that thing that a lot of viewers do—view jackie as fake. The fact that she doesn’t really give any evidence of meanness sort of was my point. Even when there is nothing bad said, general social awkwardness can be taken as an indication of insincerity. I think this is sometimes especially true when someone is overall decent at masking, at least enough that they’re superficially seen as well liked. Because then people see a hiccup (which is really an adjustment to new input) and take it as an intentional behavioral change.

(Grain of salt, I am someone who had a keen fucking interest in being as pretty as possible at her age lol, to the degree that when I was asked how I got so good at “beauty stuff” I said “well, you can be weird if you’re hot enough!” Until I learned that was actually NOT the answer people were looking for of course lmao so I am close to the subject of performative attractiveness to skate by and I also know that it only tends to cover more superficial likability—aka homecoming queen, but you’re only got like 1-2 close friends and your teammates have no issue giving you bizarre looks when you miss the mark lol)

Thanks for the ask, clearly it got me thinking. Like a lot. Many tangents and I’m not even sure how well I addressed the questions lol but I don’t feel like going back and making it more focused so this is the ramble we get!! <3

#jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #asks answered #yellowjackets

[ninacytosis]

For the time lost

Summary: Zuko wants to erase every reminder of his past mistakes, and Katara will take him on a journey to, quite literally, heal both of their scarrings.

Contains: Angst, Fluff, Katara has burns scars from Aang's first attempts to firebend, Katara tries to get over her resentment towards the FN, Zuko doesn't hate Azula.

Dear reader: I hope you enjoy it! <3 Let me know if you want me to continue posting.

Find chapter two here.

Also if you prefer reading in ao3 here's the link.

┊┊┊┊☆┊*🌙*┊☆┊┊┊┊

Chapter One

“Dear Zuko:

I hope this letter finds you well. Since you didn’t respond to my messages from the previous weeks, I couldn’t help but do a little investigation on my own. Aang told me he last visited the Fire Nation a couple of days ago, and to his surprise, you weren’t there. Honestly, this got me even more curious. What are you up to, Fire Lord? What juicy secret are you keeping from us?

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my dad made some octo-fish soup this weekend. I bet you have never tried it, well, maybe on your finding-the-avatar days you stopped by and tried. But that doesn’t seem like you. One day Sokka and I will cook you some, but only if you tell me why you’re being so distant lately!

We’re always here for you, Zuko.

Hugs,

Katara”

Zuko read the letter while waiting for the water to boil. He had never heard of octo-fish soup to this day, but he wasn’t opposed to trying new dishes. In fact, most of his favorite dishes weren’t even from the Fire Nation. After trying the Omashu noodles, who could blame him?

 “Dear Katara,

I hope you enjoyed that soup and the company of your family. Knowing that you spend good quality time with your family brings me so much joy and relief because all of you deserve it. I hope that every good memory makes up for every bad one, though unfortunately, healing doesn’t work like an exchange, does it?

As the Fire Lord, certain duties demand my presence in the other nations. So, as much as I wish my lack of responses were due to a secret vacation of mine, they are more like business trips. Might as well call me the Fire Businessman now. (Don’t let anyone read this to Toph because she most certainly will call me that.)

It was nice hearing from you. Send as many letters as you please. Even if I’m not home, I’ll promise I’ll read them. By the way, how are your little waterbenders doing? I’m sure it was harder to handle Aang, you know, back in our teaching-the-Avatar days.

Best,

Zuko”

He sat down and frowned at the piece of paper. It’s not that he wanted to hide things from her, or his friends. But it was almost embarrassing to write and send a letter describing his last weeks. It was a path of emotions he was unready to walk through. She would probably forget it in a couple of weeks anyway, and then he would be able to tell her everything.

“Dear Zuko,

Or should I say, Dear Fire Liar?

Even though I don’t have a lot of time in my hands, I still managed to get some information about your mysterious “business” trips. Sokka’s been of great help, for once, and a little bird told him that people from the Northern Water Tribe have spotted you in very weird places. But being honest, I still don’t know what is it that you’re hiding so hard. You got yourself an Ice Lady?

On another note, it’s very exciting to see both of the Nations exchanging goods and, you know, not trying to slit each other’s throats. I always wanted the war to end of course, but it was very hard to imagine a future so full of prosperity. It’s hard to grasp sometimes.

I hope I’m not getting overly emotional but it makes me think about my mom a lot. She never lived in a world without war in it, isn’t that fucked up? Some days I feel a strange guilt running through my body because I get to move on and she will always stay there. This seems like I’m getting all over the place. I don’t usually say this stuff to anybody, but I know you would get it. And today seems like a good day for letting it all out.

When I’m down, I like to think that she sees the world through the eyes of Sokka, or dad’s, or even mine. It’s silly, I know. But it makes me feel closer to her.

Well, enough about me. Tell me more about your trips, about your uncle’s new place. I’m dying to know. Maybe next time you should try doing business in the Southern Water Tribe and pay us a visit. We all miss you!

Hugs,

Katara”

Zuko took a long breath. No amount of tea would cure the unmeasurable shame that he felt reading Katara’s letter. He knew how empathetic she was, and how much he loved her family, and he could never forgive himself for what his family did to the world. Every day he looked at himself in the mirror and was reminded of a past he could never erase, his face became no longer his once his dad put his palm on it.

His sudden state made him forget about Katara’s little quest. He was not only full of shame but also full of passion to help others. Every reminiscent of the war also reminded him of the resilience of people during difficult times. And every time Katara changed the subject, Zuko needed to excruciatingly tell her how much her strength motivated him to be better. And after writing that letter, he decided it was time to invite her to the palace.

#atla #zutara #zutara fanfiction #zuko x katara #it's my first fanfic pls be kind :) #also i'm not a native english speaker so plsss forgive me if the dialogue sounds unnatural #or if the grammar feels off #FTL :)

[padmestrilogy]

“He’s ending things,” Luthen says, not to Kleya exactly, but certainly aimed in her general direction. His hands grip the shop table and his eyes, the floor. “Two days before the—event, he has me fly out to see him, and tells me he’s ending things.”

“Bad timing,” Kleya replies, flatly. He doesn’t blame her. Five years into her ‘Assistant’ position, and Kleya has never fallen for a fellow rebel or wide-eyed civilian, never come into his office with tears or a too-wide grin. Her hands do not tremble. Her eyes do not linger. He’s followed her home. Many times. She’s alone. She’s alone, and she doesn’t mind.

(That thing with Vel did not, does not, will never count. She has told him this on at least five separate occasions.)

“Suspiciously bad timing,” Luthen says. He hopes for Kleya’s tone to turn urgent. He gets a cocked eyebrow.

“If Saw knew about our plans,” she inhales, “he would give us a, a full sermon on how futile they were.” There are times when Kleya’s mouth goes thin and her eyes thinner. This is one of those times. “Saw is not playing with your emotions. He is not playing with us. He just doesn’t like you.”

This, of all things, takes his eyes off the floor and hands to his pockets. He stands up, shoulders back. Luthen hasn’t been crying. He blinked back that instinct on the return flight. There must be something in his eyes regardless, which upon recognition, softens Kleya’s glare. She steps forward. Saw ended their meeting with steps forward too, steps forward until he was close enough to touch. Luthen thought for a moment that it would end like it had all the other times, with Saw withdrawing his it’s-over speech, and leaning in. That it would be like the old poems, sex without morality, no good or evil, just their bodies.

Saw didn’t withdraw. He let Luthen leave, presumably watched. Kleya holds up a holo. A blue Looni flickers on and off. “You have something else to do today,” she says. Not softly, but less flat.

Luthen grabs his coat and heads out. There is a part of him that is perversely eager to become the denier. He’s ordered deaths. He’s led men to prisons and sharp cliffs. He has been the one to step into a life and tilt it sideways many times, and he does this because he has to, and he does this because it means what Saw does to him is earned, is a kind of karma. It’s not about him, really. If this were a fresh galaxy and he had a gentle job, Saw would not treat him like this. Really. Luthen repeats this thought to himself, and all it’s variations, up until the lift doors burst open and Looni parts his quivering lips.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Looni begins. It’s not the exact line Saw gave, but it’s far too close. Luthen’s jaw is something tight and dry.

He does what he has to. Says no.

And it’s not easy, being the denier. Luthen sees his top pupil’s shoulders collapse, and he feels rotten. Simply rotten. After everything, after all he’s done and made others do, Luthen has never stopped feeling rotten. He tries to relay this. And when Looni asks him, when Looni dares to ask him what he has sacrificed, outstretching the question like a shiny blade, Luthen bites. He says everything he swore he’d tell Saw, and then he keeps going.

The walk back to the shop is a rainy one. Luthen is hunched over, and he can feel the water seeping into his wig, but he’s also got one less tangle inside him, one less sermon. It feels okay. Not good, but settled. He’s settling. He can feel it.

Then, Luthen’s comm crackles to life. Saw’s voice is on the other end, distorted and full of skips, but—it’s Saw. “I made a mistake,” Saw says. “Can we meet?”

“Yes,” Luthen says. He ducks into an alley, nods, all to himself. “Yes. Three days?”

#posting my old man yaoi cheese on here to hopefully add converts #luthensaw #andor #star wars #luthen rael #saw gerrera #my fic