#do CE as promised and then try that out

[santaclaushohoho1]

est-ce q'avoir un petit ami faire moi un embrasseur des garcons?

#pretty sure i got it wrong #est-ce q'avoir means “do you have” #but i genuinely couldnt figure out what “does having” mean #boy kisser #french #lemme know if i did do it wrong #i promise im trying

[watchmegetobsessed]

MAD MAN

A/N: he looked like a snack, his ce vibes were too strong to hold them back

base of the idea was by @harrysblackcoat

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

SUMMARY: You came to the game to forget about the massive fight you had with Harry a few days ago, but your alone time is soon interrupted by the man you've been trying to avoid.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

You weren’t planning to come today. Well, you were, until about four days ago, but then the whole ordeal happened with Harry and suddenly you didn’t want to do anything else than stay at home, cry or either sleep until you forget about the shit you both said. 

It was nasty. You don’t even remember how it started, maybe it was because he got home too late, or was it because you couldn’t choose a restaurant again and it always drives him crazy.

You have no idea what started it, you only remember how bad it got. Screaming, shouting, saying the worst things you ever did and probably neither of you meant. But you said them and you can’t take them back. 

Maybe packing your stuff and leaving wasn’t your best idea, but you needed time and space. Harry has been blowing your phone up ever since, but you feel like you need just a little bit more time away from him to think about… well, the two of you. 

You’ve had the ticket for months and you didn’t have the heart to miss out on the game just because of what happened. So you pulled yourself out of your depression cave, aka your old apartment you still haven’t sold since moving in with Harry and came to the game. Now you’re sitting in your usual seat, waiting for it to start while trying your best to keep him out of your thoughts at least until the end. 

Looking across the stadium you see the VIP section and immediately, you fail at not thinking about him, because you think of how he is the kind of man that would be standing there, sipping on something fancy and expensive. 

Groaning you turn your attention to your drink, playing with the straw, but then you remember the time you explained to Harry why this is your favorite seat in the stadium.

“Okay, enlighten me, baby,” he smirked at you, pulling you to his lap after pushing himself away from his desk.

“It’s close to the exit, I can leave before the crowd gets moving, the toilet is 20 seconds away and the line is always short, because the one by the F stairs is more popular. And…” You peaked at him, checking if he was still listening and there he was, giving you his undivided attention with a cheesy smirk on his handsome face. “And the drinks are better in the buffet that’s behind.”

“Better?” he chuckled. “Baby, they are the same.”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “It’s less… watery.”

“Mm, if you say so,” he smirked and then kissed you, making you forget about what you were talking about just a moment ago.

You need to blink your tears away. You promised yourself you wouldn’t be crying during this game, that you wouldn’t think about how much you miss him and how even despite the fight you love him more than anyone. 

You dig into your bag for a tissue, right when someone tries to squeeze past you to their seat. The tall man inches into the row, his long coat brushing your knees while you’re still elbow deep in your bag and you faintly register that he sits beside you. 

“Here,” he deep voice speaks up beside you and you know who it is even before his hand moves into your view, holding out a tissue. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask, taking the tissue without looking at him. 

“Why do people come to football matches?” he asks back and you can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “I’m here because you wouldn’t answer the phone.”

“That might mean that I don’t want to talk to you,” you casually reply, staring ahead of you.

Harry exhales sharply beside you and his knee presses against yours, making you gasp.

“Y/N, I hope you didn’t think I would just let you slip out of my hands like that, right? We need to talk.”

“And you thought a football game would be the best place for that?” 

“This seems to be the only way to get you to talk to me, so yeah.”

“How did you even know I would be sitting here?”

“Because you told me this is your favorite seat.”

“I did not. I just told you I have one, I never told you it’s this one.”

You sit in silence for a bit, trying to figure out if maybe you did tell him the exact seat, but you get to the same point: you didn’t.

“I never told you, so how did you know?” you ask and finally look at him. His beauty strikes you, as always, the chiseled jawline, the slope of his nose, the curly lashes, he still takes your breath away. 

He runs his tongue across his lips and then looks at you.

“The drink,” he then finally says.

“What?”

“The drink. It really is better here.” You watch him and he continues. “I tried… I tried them all in the stadium and it really is less watery.”

He tried them all. He went around the stadium and tried them all to figure out where you’re sitting. 

“Now that you’re listening to me, can we talk?” he then asks with a soft smile. “Or it could be just me speaking, but I really want to tell you what I’ve been thinking about the past few days.”

“Okay,” you breathe out. “Talk then.”

His gaze lingers on your face, as if he is taking in every tiny detail before speaking up again.

“I fucked up, Y/N. I said all those terrible things in the heat of the moment and I regretted them right away. I didn’t mean any of them.”

“Not even when you said that all I do is get on your nerves?” you find yourself asking.

“You do get on my nerves, Y/N,” he says and you’re just about to open your mouth, but he is quick to continue. “You make me go crazy in the best way possible. With your silly dancing in the kitchen, the way you sing every song with the wrong lyrics and swear your version is the right. When you get mad at me for using words you don’t know the meaning of, or when you put me in my place when I’m being a total ass… you make me go crazy… for you.”

Your eyes are tearing up again and when his hand moves to your knee you lean closer to him, wanting more of his touch instantly. 

“I love you, Y/N. I never thought I could love someone this much, but you just always prove me wrong,” he chuckles softly and your hand finds his on your leg, your fingers locking together. “Please come back. I’m nothing without you. Come back and get on my nerves every day because I want to be a mad man, but only if it’s you who makes me crazy.”

Now you’re fighting the urge to cry like a baby. You love this man and you can’t imagine a day when you won’t. 

“I’m sorry too,” you whisper, tears rolling down your cheeks. He reaches up and wipes them with his thumb. “I didn’t mean it when I said you must be fucking all your assistants at work.”

“That hurt,” he smiles bitterly.

“I just… I still wonder why you chose me,” you admit with a shrug. 

“Because you’re the one for me,” he simply answers, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. You take a deep breath and exhale it shakily before leaning in and kissing him. The game starts right when your lips meet, but all the screaming and clapping tunes out as you’re back in the arms of the man you love. 

“Do you want to move to the VIP section?” you ask. 

“Nope,” he smirks down at you. “This really is the best seat.”

“See? I told you!” chuckling, you just pull him in for another kiss before making yourself comfortable with his arm around your shoulders.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Can I ask for Untitled 3? (I'm not tagged just curious)

oh, excellent choice. this one has layers

so this was a little diddy i came up with @lunart-ce (check out their stuff i love the game changer vids they have) and we were thinking up what game changer clips would work well with which op characters for funsies. and this resulted me in having the best idea anyone probably had ever, too bad i didnt have to motivation to see it out.

So i was thinking up a situation where Garp wanted to fuck with his grandsons because they didnt follow down the path of becoming marines, so he invites them to his game show.

The idea sounded fun enough and he promised to not try to recruit or capture them whilst they were there so the three brothers hopped along to play some silly little games with their gramps.

One of the games garp would play with them is the Sam Says episode with all three brothers, and the other would be the yes or no episode with just Sabo, but with koby and helmeppoas the other two contestants.

in both the games sabo would "be" brennan, luffy would be izzy, ace would be Lou, helmeppo would be Zac, and koby would be Ally.

So basically garp would invite the brothers over so that they can all together play a game that they cannot win at unless they listen to everything that Garp tells them to do, and so that Sabo plays a game that he cannot physically win at at all.

heres the link to the sam says episode

and heres a link to the brennan lee mulligan monologue that my art references

thanks for the ask!

#wip ask game #@smol-book-nerd #op spoilers

[chrisevansonly]

Oooh, what about a holiday just for Charles and Matteo, toddler and father spending time together during a week of holiday just wuth them two? 💖

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐮)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜 𝐱 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: it’s tradition for charles and matteo to hit the slopes every christmas eve, and you didn’t mind letting your boys have their fun

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none, very fluffy sweetness

𝐚/𝐧: merry christmas eve!! here’s a little karter blurb for christmas eve!! i love this family so much, and i hope you enjoy🤍

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Your boys were all packed and ready to make the drive to the airport in Nice, the two of them off to ski and snowboard in France for the day. It had been a Christmas Eve tradition for the two of them, while you had Charlotte over to bake and cook with you.

Christmas eve dinner was always at your home, and Christmas day was at Pascale’s in order to split the holiday duties! Matteo was excited to go skiing with his father, well he preferred to snowboard.

“Okay my loves, be safe and have fun!” you said kissing Charles gently and handing him some snacks for the airplane, turning to kiss Matteo’s forehead

“Matteo, n’oubliez pas d’écouter papa, d’accord?” (matteo, don’t forget to listen to daddy)

He nodded

“Oui Maman!! Je t’aime!!” (yes mom, i love you)

Smiling you walked them to the door

“I love you too baby, i’ll see you tonight”

Charles nods, grabbing the last of their things

“See you tonight amour, I love you”

Once the two of them were out the door you pulled your phone out and called Charlotte, the baking and cooking fiasco about to commence.

-

Charles and Matteo arrived arrived to the ski hill around mid morning, the two of them excited to hit the slopes and get out into the sun.

“Papa can we do that hill first?” Matteo said excitedly, pointing to the red circle hill to the left

“You want to start with a harder hill petit prince?”

Matteo nodded

“Oui Papa!!” (yes daddy)

Who was Charles to say no to his little boy who was so eager to get to snowboarding, up they went, Matteo giggling the entire chairlift up, happy to be back in the snow.

Once they got to the top of the mountain Charles noticed his son stop, his hands wringing together in his mitts, eyes a little wide, he could see his anxiety from a mile away so he was quick to sit next to him, ski’s at his side

“Qu’est-ce qui ne va pas, bébé?” His voice soft as he softly pinched Matteo’s cheek, causing the little boy to smile and scrunch his face (what’s wrong baby?)

“C’est plus effrayant que je ne le pensais papa…” he responded, looking at his father (it’s scarier than i thought daddy..)

“Hmm well do you want to try it anyway or do you want to go down to the blue hill?”

Matteo stayed quiet, really wanting to be brave and show his father he could do it, he was tired of only snowboarding down the blue hills

“I want to try it papa”

Charles couldn’t help but feel proud of Matteo for wanting to try it despite the slight anxiety he’d been feeling once they arrived at the top of the mountain

“Okay then, remember how to slow down, and if you need to stop you stop if you need too, I promise i’ll go down with you the whole way”

Matteo nodded before getting up and taking off down the hill, moving at his own pace as he took on the harder hill, navigating around bumps and tree’s. Charles not far behind him, keeping an eye on the little boy to make sure he was okay.

They’d only stopped one time on the hill before making it to the bottom, Matteo squealing happily

“Je l’ai fait papa!!! Tu m’as vu?!” (i did it daddy! did you see me?!)

Charles laughed nodding his head as Matteo waddled over still attached to his snowboard to hug his legs

“Tu as réussi petit prince! Je suis si fière de toi” (You did little prince, i’m so proud of you!)

Matteo smiled hugging Charles’s legs a little tighter, happy at the praise he was receiving

“Can we go again?” came his voice, muffled from his fathers sweatpants

“Of course we can Teo…let’s go”

Charles loved these little traditions with Matteo, getting able to take him skiing and letting him experience fun holiday activities like this is something he was so grateful for. Matteo loved these just as much, and the two of them knew as soon as they’d arrive home, the family would be waiting and they could finally have some of your famous gingerbread cookies, the best way to end the Christmas Eve ski day.

No two people were bigger gingerbread fans than your boys, and you can never skip out on a cookie after hitting the slopes all day…

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #rueschats💗 #little karter 🏎️ #little karter series 🏎️ #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc series #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc au #charles leclerc fanfic #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 blurb #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 drabble #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

[salty-croissants]

I’m literally in love with your stuff. Can you maybe to Bullfrog and Rayman with an autistic reader?

Thank you for the request ! 

I’m so happy you’ve been enjoying my writings , it really means a lot ❤️

I gotta say I was a bit worried about not doing this one right … I did put a few things that I personally find relatable as someone who is autistic myself , thought it would be nice to include is all , I hope this works ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚 

So , this frog man ? He loves you unconditionally , and he just really wants you to know that he will always accept you and your unique traits , even when you feel insecure about them …

< I … I don’t know , Bullfrog … sometimes I just feel like all I’m doing is being a burden to y - > 

< Non . Don’t even finish that . 

You’re the most wonderful person I have ever met , y/n , and there isn’t a single day in which I’m not thankful for having you in my life . > 

< Really … ? > 

< Oui , mon amour . I long for nothing more than being with you . > 

< *sniff* > 

< Oh - Are you alright ? I’m so sorry , I didn’t mean to make you cry - > 

< Heh … it’s okay … I’m just really happy . 

I love you so much ~ >

  Bullfrog loves listening to you enthusiastically going on and on about something you’re passionate about , especially when he’s not having a good day : 

just hearing the sound of your voice is so , so very comforting to him … if he could he would sit beside you for days , his attention reserved for you and you alone . 

< … and what’s even more awesome is that there is actually a really subtle easter egg hidden in the background which changes the entire narrative for that charact - 

… wait , how long have I been … ? >

< That is very interesting my dear ! 

Please keep going , j'adore le son de ta voix ~ >

< Aww - > 

Your adorable expressions when he showers you with compliments …

Bullfrog can’t even begin to describe how happy they make him ://)

If being around people gets too overwhelming , Bullfrog is quick to pick up on that and he’ll immediately get you someplace more quiet , willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re comfortable and safe … 

< Is this really okay ? I’m so sorry , it’s just … it was so crowded and loud in there , and I … >

< Mon cher , there is no reason for you to be sorry … let’s just stay here for now , then if you wish to try and go back in we can do that , or we can always go back home : I assure you , you’ve already done more than enough tonight … I am very proud of you , and you should be too . > 

And if one day something starts making you very , very anxious ? 

Well , no matter what the reason is and no matter how small it might be Bullfrog is going to stay close to you to help you out in whatever way he can .

< I’m so sorry for making you put up with me like this … you already have so much to take care of , and this … is just dumb . > 

< y/n , ce n'est pas te supporter , you know that .

I want to be there for you , the same way you’re always there for me …

I promise you , we can find a way out of this , you don’t have to deal with it on your own . > 

< Thank you so much , Bullfrog … you’re amazing ~ > 

< Ce serait toi , my dear … I’m truly blessed to have you by my side ~ > 

Rayman 🧡

Saying that you mean a lot to this man would be an understatement …

You mean absolutely everything to him , so you better believe that Rayman will always be careful about all the things that could potentially make you uncomfortable , remembering them all very accurately .

< Here sweetie , hold my hand for a moment … > 

< Oh - okay , but why ? > 

< We’re gonna need to pass through that crowd over there , it should be quick but I don’t want you to get overwhelmed by having many people and loud noises all around , so let’s just stay close until we get through … > 

< Thanks Ray … just … don’t let go , please . > 

< I would never . > 

All the effort Rayman puts into making you feel as comfortable as possible no matter where the two of you are … it never fails to warm your heart . 

If anyone even remotely says something mean spirited about you … 

Ohh boy , he’s not going to let it slide .

< Uh , excuse me ? WHAT was that about my partner ? > 

< Ray , honey , it’s okay … > 

Yeah , Rayman is definitely very protective of you , and he will defend you with no hesitation if anyone dares to try and make you feel inadequate in any way . 

Rayman loves listening to you talk about whatever topics come to your mind while he’s working …

It actually helps him focus quite a lot , and he really never gets bored of seeing how happy you look when info dumping about something you’re passionate about .

You’re just so pretty ! He can’t get over it …

If you tend to lose focus to the point of forgetting to take care of yourself , Rayman has got you covered : he makes sure to remind you to eat and drink water often , even leaving little notes in places where he knows you’ll find them …

“Important : remember to eat today ! <3”

“If you’re reading this … get a glass of water !” 

His devotion to you is nothing less than adorable … but then again , you’re the person he cares about most , the one that showed him kindness without asking for anything in return , so now ? 

Rayman deems it only fair to repay that kindness in his own way . 

#captain laserhawk #x reader #rayman x reader #captain lazerhawk rayman #rayman #gender neutral reader #bullfrog x reader #bullfrog captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk bullfrog #captain lazerhawk bullfrog

[krirebr]

Krismas Party ask incoming! ✨

Where are Ransom and reader from We are the vain & We are blind now?

Thank you for asking about these two! I'm so obsessed with them and just want to talk about them all the time. 😂 Also, we need a name for this AU. I've sort of been calling it my Psycho Killer AU, because all the titles come from the lyrics of that Talking Heads song, but do we like that? Does it fit?

Anyway after Don't Touch Me, I'm a Real Live Wire, they got the hell out of Boston. Then?

Qu'est-ce Que C'est

Pairing: dark!Randsom Drysdale x dark!f!Reader

Warnings: references to feeding off people, references to group sex, references to hunting people, these two psychos just being themselves, All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

You leaned back against Ransom’s chest. He balanced himself on one hand, while the other slowly moved up and down your stomach. You hummed into his chest. This was perfect. You were lounging on a blanket on the Champs du Mars, the lit-up Eiffel Tower looming over you.

“You happy, baby?” Ransom asked, his voice still gritty from sleep. He always took forever to wake up. You hummed your answer into his chest as the lights twinkled down on you. “I can’t believe you wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. We’re surrounded by tourists.”

“We are tourists,” you said, grinning up at him. “It’s my first time in Paris, of course, I wanted to see this.”

He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “We are not tourists. We have a place here. We’re expats, if anything. It’s your first time of many, little rabbit. We’ll spend years here.” You loved it when he talked like that, building a life together, traveling the world, wherever you wanted. This was what you’d always wanted—always deserved. And now you got to have it forever.

“You know,” Ransom murmured as his hand slowly traveled further up your abdomen, “if I remember right, you did promise me something for deigning to visit this tourist trap.”

“It’s not a tourist trap,” you chided, “it’s beautiful.” It was. The lit tower filled the night sky and the Champ du Mars was still decorated with the last vestiges of Christmas. It was all terribly romantic. “But you’re right. I promised whatever you wanted for breakfast. See anything that looks good?” 

“Mmm,” Ransom hummed as he scanned the area. You looked around, too. You liked to see if you could predict what he’d choose. Test how well you knew him, his tastes. A few people were milling about alone, but Ransom always woke up hungry, so you knew he wouldn’t be very interested in sharing. It was late enough in the night that there weren’t many families around, but the few there were would be a hard pass. So that left couples, but those were plentiful, so you’d need to narrow it down to make a decent guess. Your sense of smell wasn’t nearly as developed as his, so you were at a distinct disadvantage, you knew. Still, your eyes roved over the crowd, trying to suss out what he’d want tonight.

“Ah,” he sighed, his hand stilling on your chest, nodding towards a young couple, sitting on a blanket much like your own, bundled up for a night picnic – the man pouring wine into travel cups. “That’s an excellent vintage, I can smell it from here. It’ll add a nice brightness to the blood.”

You took his word for it. If you’d learned anything about him in the last few months, it was that he had an excellent palate. You tilted your neck around so that you could look at him. “Want me to get them for you? Bring them somewhere quiet?”

He shook his head. “I’ll come with you. I want to watch you work. You’re getting good at it.”

You grinned at him, grateful for the compliment. “It’s my favorite part,” you said, as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, lightly nipping at the skin there. You’d expected his obsession with your neck to wane now that he wasn’t able to feed on you, but even after a few months of being a vampire, his fixation remained.

“So what do you think?” he asked. “Should we ask for directions? Or maybe offer up a ménage à quatre?”

You laughed as you slid out of his lap and turned around to face him on your knees. “Well, they do say that Paris is for lovers.”

He grinned at you hungrily. “Oh? Is that what they say?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed and leaned forward to kiss him. He leaned into it, quickly taking control, making it filthy, uncaring of all the people around you. You could have sworn you could feel the blood thrumming in your veins, despite knowing that was impossible. It was how you always felt when he touched you, more alive than you ever felt when you actually were. 

He pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. “Alright,” he said, ”ménage à quatre it is.” 

Tag lists are open

@stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv@texmexdarling @ladyvenera @she-wolf09231982

#ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #dark ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale #dark reader #reader insert #knives out #drabble #chris evans fanfiction #ce characters #thank you for reading and sharing 💜 #vampire au #krismas party #ask kris

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt.5

Synopsis: YN and Harry attend her friends wedding. A lot of things said and confessed

Ps. This is the last part.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

It was time for the twenty week prenatal check up and the ultra sound of course.

He was nervous. He haven't seen YN in about two weeks and half. He had to go back and forth Los Angeles and New York City for business last minute. But he had Jeremy drive YN to and from work, he has Lizzie check on her every other day or so. He didn't get to talk to her much.

Just to make sure she's doing alright.

The image of her in pain and misery is still hard to shake from his brain. He just wants to do everything possible to make sure YN isn't in any discomfort.

As new as it sounds. He cares for her. In more ways now. That is new.

She's sweet and caring. She is fiesty when she has to be, which is understandable. Being a woman is hard enough itself, though she's agree it's not an excuse for being an asshole to him.

He's seen her check up on her family as much as she could. Text her brother and dad as much as she could, especially when they're waiting for their turn at the doctors and she's got nothing better to do.

But today, it was something else.

She was going to see him at his place before they went to the doctors. He had an urgent meeting and he's been at office si ce last night, working overnight on this project with his team. He needed a nice hot shower and a change of clothes. And some food of course.

Just when he was coming downstairs, he heard YN's angry whispers from the patio. The door qas closed as she walked back and forth, bare foot, furiously yelling at someone over a phone call. He couldn't understand a word even though he could hear her clearly. She was saying something in her native language, except a few English words she used here and there.

"No, you listen to me you little bastard, you're going to give your phone to Papa at six every night. No going out, no drinking with friends, no seeing all these girls you see every other week." She was yelling at her brother she reckoned, "you're grounded until I see that degree of yours." She paused talking for a moment.

"Then I told you, do what you're interested in, you dumbo! I never forced you to study Business. I worked two jobs here just so you can go to the best college and study, I never expected this from you Veeraj! No! You're going to go take the re-exam, I want you to at least pass, my love! Then you can go ahead and do whatever you want. At least you'd try something."

Harry could see YN was on verged of breakdown. She looked so hurt and exhausted. Mentally exhausted. But she seemed to be calming herself there.

"That's okay! Everyone is not same, Vee, you gotta understand. I understand that. No one is really pressuring you to do anything you don't like. Rebelling is not going to be a answer to anything. I'm trying my best to help you out here. Just so you don't end up drowning in student loans. Now is really not the time for this. You've got to stop drinking, stop hanging out with friends who just take away from your energy. Set up boundaries for yourself. I'm not asking for you to grow up, I'm asking you to learn to take up your responsibilities. I'm going to be here to help every step of the way, whatever it is you want to do I'll find a way to support you, okay? Do you understand me?" She paused for a moment, "That's what I thought. Now I'll ask my friend to take you in for a few lessons. I want you to promise me that you'll do something to get yourself to be a better person, okay? Yeah. That's what I thought. Now go to sleep, and start fresh from tomorrow."

He found her very attractive. He kept staring up until after a few byes and I love yous YN hung up her call and sat down on the step of the patio, crying.

That's when Harry decided to step out and talk to her. "Hey, what's wrong?" He sat down next to her.

"It's nothing. I've been crying since last night." She said.

Lie!

He talked to her last night and she was laughing and joking, having the time of her life making fun of him over the voice call.

"That's not true, YN. You know you can talk to me, right?" He suggested.

"I know." She nodded, "it's just my little brother. He's got weird circle friends and drinking problems. I mean he's barely twenty. It's going since he was seventeen. It got worse when I moved here for my dissertation. Our dad can look after just so much, he's sick and his work took so much toll on him. He failed three of his classes last semester. Which is a lot given his last two year record. If he fails he's got to start all over again."

"It's all my fault. I never asked him what he wanted to study before I gave my own suggestions. I shouldn't have moved here." She mumbled as she sobbed.

"Hey, no, no!" He pulled her closer to his side with his arm around her back, "you try your best, don't you? And that's what matters."

"I don't know. He's like my own baby, I've been taking care of him since I was six. I can't see him doing things which are going to make his life miserable in long run. He's not like this." She finally chose to confide in Harry there.

She isn't a saint, she got drunk too. But that was the first time. That made her more guilty for yelling at her brother like that.

"We'll get him the help he needs, yeah?" He assured her, "you don't have to beat yourself up for something you can't have control over."

"You've done enough for me, Harry, I can't bother you more." She sniffled, "he'll get throught it, he's done it once when our dad found out."

"If you think so." He sighed, "did you had your lunch?"

"Mhmm." She nod her head, "I was hungry so I ate before I came here."

"Good." He smiled, "now do you want to come inside?"

"Just five minutes?" She asked, "and did you eat?"

"I'm going to do that now." He tried to hold back his stupid grin the best he could. She cares about him enough to check up on him even though she's an emotional mess in that moment.

"Okay."

......................................................................

Another hour of wait for the monthly check up (twenty four weeks). YN was already over it today. She'd call it a day off she didn't had to go run some errands after at the bank and pick up a few things from the post office and things like those. Julia was going with her, so she didn't had to take cabs and tube and such.

She was just sat there, slumped and dazed off. Not noticing that Harry had quietly slid his hand into hers on his lap. She didn't realise until she heard another couple comment something along the lines of 'they're so adorable' now maybe it was for something else, but it caught her attention. Warmth in her hand grew slowly closing towards her heart there.

YN had so much going on in her mind, especially in that moment when she could feel the baby move.

They started moving just a week before she went to appointment solo. She couldn't bring herself to share that with Harry. She can control not sharing that. Even though she knows she shouldn't.

She can't have a say in the baby's life but she can at least have a control over this. Of course he won't touch her without her permission, or she'll kick his ass. But he won't.

YN have picked up on the baby's pattern. They were active mostly when she's feeling tired. Not to mention, the heartburn. She just wishes they're not as hairy as she was a baby. Her mum used to tell her how she couldn't even lie down when she had her. She was five and she remembered, she was just lying on her mum's lap as she asked her stupid toddler questions, her mum would answer to her the best way her five hear old self could understand. But with her brother, she could lie down and eat because her brother was a bald baby. But adorable none the less. She missed her mum.

Also she didn't wanted to share too much, before the baby was taken away from her. Well, it isn't her technically. She never wanted to give up her own child, but she did so she wasn't parentless. That was to save ber dad, who's perfectly fine and healthy.

And even though they're on time, they still have to wait at least two and half to three hours for their turn. Which is annoying on many levels.

"Hey, you're tired?" She heard Harry whisper in her ear to which she nodded. "C'mere." He draped his arm behind her on the chair, "just relax, yeah? Everything is going to be fine, I'm here."

She wanted to punch him in the face, but she understood what he was trying to say. Everything is going to be fine, she's going to be fine. So she leaned to his side just to be hit by the fragrance of his cologne in the face. But it was comforting. Weirdly enough.

"We've still got an hour and half." His voice was nothing more than a whisper, "you can take a nap, I'll wake you up, yeah?"

"I'll try." She agreed.

She could really use a nap. But in her own bed. Under her fluffy blanket, and AC on blast. Not at her place here. Back home. She's got a huge bed with comfiest mattress and bedding, she missed it now more than anything. She can cry to go back home and hug her dad.

She tried to sit there as still as she could with a baby inside her having a rave party. She watched Harry check few of his emails, they were from a same person with lists of products for a baby and a nursery. She doesn't mean to peep, she wouldn't have looked into his phone if it were related to his business. But it's not.

Now Harry thought she was fast asleep when he checked his emails until he heard a few soft sniffles from her. He peeped down to find her crying. "Hey, why you crying, darling?"

"It's nothing." She shook her head, "I just don't feel well, that's all."

"Just a few more minutes, yeah? Then we'll ask Doctor Wilson if we can do something for it. Hmm?" He suggested.

"Yeah."

"It's okay." He hugged her close to his chest.

......................................................................

"Baby's got a lot of hair on their head." Dr. Wilson shared, "this sort of explains the heartburn." Harry looked back and forth between YN and the screen in front of them. "You can still feel the baby move?" To which YN nodded.

"You can?" He whispered looking at her with puppy eyes.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"You want to know the sex of your baby, Mr. Styles?" Doctor Wilson asked.

Now that made YN's heart sink to her tummy. But was the truth. She signed up for this. Doctor Wilson was the one who have helped her with everything from day one. She knew everything about the IVF and her being the surrogate and everything. But she noticed Harry glance at her for last minute approval. She didn't know what to say.

"We'd like to wait, thank you." He smiled.

He said we.

The appointment went smooth as always, doctor Wilson gave YN some advices to help her heartburn. She then had a little bit of time with just YN because she wanted to ask her some questions, which given if both the parties were couple she wouldn't mind asking with the partner in the room.

Doctor Wilson is very thoughtful, especially when she knew YN had personally asked for a female doctor, and that YN was a bit uncomfortable with Harry in the room at the beginning of the screening to see if she can carry a fetus to full term in a healthy manner. But her one question only directed towards Harry had her puzzled with her emotions that day.

She should just really talk to Harry. Right? Or at least try? He'll understand, right?

......................................................................

She held off.

More so that more weeks went by, her health wasn't getting any better (the baby is very healthy) plus she's got a wedding to get through with. YN passed out three times in her bathroom, lucky she sustained no injury. She lied down on the floor carefully when she felt it coming. Her friends almost rushed her to the Emergency department the fourth time. But it was controllable. She went to see her doctor the very next day.

Harry wasn't in town again. He'd gone on another last minute call, this time it was for award ceremony for entrepreneurs and such. He was awarded with couple of awards there, it was just going to go to his every growing college in his office. YN had to go to her monthly checkup alone this time. And it was going to be only time she has to go alone.

But when he came back it was just time for Josh and Kayla's wedding. Harry was actually late, so Jeremy ended driving YN to the wedding venue two days before. He had no idea what went on.

It was the time when the bride and everyone was done getting ready, and they were taking pictures.

YN's dress was loose, she wasn't showing much even though the baby weighed half a pound more than it should be at twenty-one week. It was easier hide her belly.

Now she doesn't want to draw attention to her belly and take away from her best friend's special day. But she did snuck off to the bathroom in her own room next door to take a few of pictures on her phone, posed as where her belly is visible.

"YN you're being dramatic and extra. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." She scolded herself as she looked through the pictures, just as she was about to delete those, she heard the bride calling for her.

"YN, your alright in there?" Kayla asked, "talk to me so I know you did not pass out in there, babe."

"Yeah, I'm fine." She called out. But not until she heard, the door knob being violently being shaken from the outside.

"Unlock the bloody door YN!" He banged on the door, "open rhe fucking door damn it!"

It was Harry knocking on the door, hard. She hoped he didn't bruise his knuckles when she quickly opened the door worried. "Why are you knocking so hard? Is your hand okay?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He glared at her ignoring her concerning questions. There was a hint of worry behind his anger.

YN looked at her friend. She just threw her hands up in defence, "I didn't tell him anything. He over heard it." Kayla explained, "I'll give you two a moment." With that she fled the room. YN sighed and walked to the bed in her hotel room so she could put on her shoes.

"Why didn't you tell me YN?" He followed her.

"You were away for work. I didn't wanted to burden you with my problems." She answered and picked up her left shoe. She was going to wear her sneakers because she can't walk properly even when barefoot. She trips and falls, especially at weddings.

"I expect you to share things like with me, YN." He sighs in frustration and kneels down in front of her to help her with her shoes. "How many time have I told you that, hmm? This is ridiculous. You, you think that stupid award function is what I cared about more?" She didn't say anything. He just looked up at her when he was done putting her shoes on for her and found her looking at him with puppy eyes.

Honestly, she can fight with him right there. But it's her friend's special day she doesn't wanna ruin it.

"You wanna talk later?" He asked to which she nodded. "Yes or no?"

"Yes!" She huffed getting up and walking towards the bathroom where she left her phone.

"Hey, YN, I'm sorry. Shouldn't have talk to you like that." He tailed her around as she gathered her stuff. She grabbed a lipstick, and stuff it in the pocket of her dress.

"You tied my shoe lace too tight." She ignored him like he did not yell at her even five minutes ago. Without a question he knelt down again to retie her shoes for her.

For the rest of the ceremony, leading upto the reception party none of them talked to one another but yet managed to savour and enjoy every minute, for her friends at least.

First it was the dinner then the reception according the bride and groom's plans. It was emotional, funny and sarcastic with all of the speeches. And the drinking and dancing began again.

YN was getting overwhelmed already. Especially after her little speech. She could still see Harry there, he looked pissed. She went to get herself a glass of water by the bar.

"Hello there." Someone went to sit on the stool right next to hers. It was Doctor Micheal Jones.

"Hi..." YN was confused seeing him there.

"Been waiting to talk to ya whole night actually. How have you been?" He asked.

"I've been good, what about you?" Oh how she hated the small talk.

"I'm great." He smiled. She noticed he's got dimples too, a blond stubble and both his arms were covered in random tattoos, she could see from the rolled up sleeves.

Wait, has she got a type?

"You're from the bride or groom's side?" She asked him before he could say anything further.

"I am Heidi, Joshua's step sisters cousin." The blue eyed man explained.

"Oh, that sweet."

"And you're from bride's side I believe?" He asked.

"Oh no, I'm technically from both of their sides." She giggled, "they're both my best mates."

"YN, darling can I talk to you?" It was Harry interrupting Micheal before he could even utter a word. "Come on darling it's urgent please." He grabbed a gentle hold her hand as he helped her down the stool making sure to take her water bottle from the counter. He guided her out.

YN didn't get to take in the venue when the sun was up. But the wedding was at the Stourhead House and Gardens in the county of Wiltshire, near the Apollo Temple.

It's the exact place where Kiera Knightley's Pride and Prejudice was filmed. Kayla's a huge nerd for books, hence her PhD in English literature. YN never understood how that girl can read three to four hundred page book in a day to a day and half max. The venue was also something Kayla and Josh had little arguments over until they booked the place for the day.

"What?" YN slipped her hand out of Harry's, the metal of his rings was warm and cosy but she's mad at him for talking to her like that. They're out of the party now.

"Let's go there, it's a little loud here." He grabbed her hand again and walked towards the Apollo Temple which was barely fifteen feet away from the party. Which didn't make sense because it was still loud. They sat by the edge of the temple there. "You're feeling any better now?" He asked. Watching her lean into the pole next to her.

She looks tired and sleep deprived there. Her phone placed in between him and her with the lockscreen lit up, it was half part ten then and the the background was of the first ultrasound picture he sent her. It was the phone he gifted her, she's really using it. And the bracelet, she was wearing it. The piece of jewelry went so well with her baby blue dress, a stretchy bodice and off shoulder opaque sleeves ending just by her wrists. She wore a silver necklace with a little gold charm on it.

"Hey, come on, I'm really sorry darling." He scooted a bit closer to her, "why didn't you tell me, hmm?" He tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear gently and she finally looked at him.

"I told you, I didn't wanted to tell you because you were away for work." She shared, "you said you have important meeting. I went to the appointment so I'm fine now."

"You also said, and I quote, I don't want to burden you with my problems, care to tell me what that means?" For the first time they're having a conversation without yelling at one another, "because I never said you're burden, did I now? I apologise if at any point I made you feel that way, I never intended to."

"You didn't, I, I, I just didn't wanted to disturb you that's all." She shook her head.

"I was done with my meeting on day one, should have told me YN." He insisted, his thumb caressing the apple on her cheek tenderly, "don't want it to happen again, but you'll tell me when it does, no matter how busy I am, yeah?"

"Yeah." She agreed.

"Have you been sleeping well?" He enquired.

"No, I can't lie down without feeling like my esophagus is burning." She shared. Truthfully. "Doctor said the baby's got way too many hair on their head. I'll give you the picture when we're back in Hampstead."

He cracked a smile, "about that..."

"What?"

"I, I actually forgot what I was about to ask you." He covered up for himself. He wanted to tell her that she can be in the babies life, he can get the agreement terminated and all. But it felt weird.

He knows she wants her own kids, that's why she was hesitant at first. But telling her now would sound wrong. He doesn't know if she wants to be a parent just yet. He'll tell her when he finds a better way to approach this subject.

He also so badly wanted to tell her how he felt. He really, really liked her. Hell and heavens he thought he's borderline already in love with her there. But he just held off. At least for now. It'll be too much for both of them. He actually really wanted her to be around the baby, he's seen how she always tries to look away from the screen at the ultrasound or talk less about the bahy with the doctor. How she asked for him to send pictures of the ultra sound print they got, and now it's her lockscreen.

"do you wanna go back inside?"

"Not really, I don't like weddings." She shrugged, "I told Kayla, 'if I got MIA for after a bit, don't worry'. Do you want to go in?"

He chuckled softly. "No, I don't like weddings either."

"Awh! Why?" She cooed, "sorry, I forgot no questions."

"You've asked me way too many questions, we're way past that." He pointed out.

"And I got no answers to those questions." She added immediately.

"Touché." He looked down sheepishly. "I found out my Fiancé and partner of six years was cheating on me, the morning of the wedding."

"No, that's so fucked up!" She gasped, "I don't get it why people cheat? Like what the hell?"

Harry giggled at her very honest and blunt reaction, "it's alright, I'm over it now." He shrugged. "It was the second time actually. Being cheated on. Wanted to adopt a kid at first but a single man with a busy schedule is not anyone's first choice. Tried for about three years."

"Understandable. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"Why do you hate weddings?" He diverted the subject to her now.

"My reason is a bit more depressing." She said with her hand into a pinch to say how much more sas her reason is with a slight wink of her eye.

"I'm sure, but I'm here to listen."

"Trauma bonding, are we now?" She nodded her head squinting her eyes, "my mother died when I was six and my little brother was just two-three weeks old. Of course there was a wedding in our house so everyone was away except me, my dad and my mum with my brother, well 'cause she was sick."

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"It's fine, I've had twenty years to learn and grow." She shrugged.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?"

"She had a c-section with my brother and the internal stitches ripped open because she was throwing up and coughing so much. I was there when she, uhhh, you know... My dad was out getting us dinner when all of that happened." She moved back a little bit to sit comfortably with her legs criss cross, using the pole as a back rest, her hand resting on her bump as if on autopilot.

Harry just sat there looking at her as he processed all of what she said. She was six. Watched her mother die. That explains her fear of throwing up.

"Don't look at me like that, your green eyes scary." She laughed.

"I'm just trying to process." Harry shared, "What was her name? Your mum's name, I mean."

"Sofia." YN shared.

"That's a beautiful name." Harry cooed and took a moment to mirror how she sat. "Why don't you tell me about her?"

"You want me to talk about my Mummy?" She looked at him puzzled to which he just nodded, "well I've only known her for six years. But she was a doctor like me. A little crazier 'cause my dad told me once she was going for another doctorate. I never want to touch that ever again!"

"So you come from a family of a geniuses." He commented joining her laugh.

"You can say that. She had like three cats, only one of them is still alive. He's old man now. I brought him home on my way back from school he was about three months old, so he's technically my cat. My dad was furious, but who can go against mum's. I mean who's got that kind of audacity, right?"

"Exactly!" He agreed with his own dramatics, "Mum's are the best!"

"Not all of them, my step mother is a total witch. Witch not a bitch. Can't swear like that." She shared. "My mum was the principal of my school. And everyone loved her, obviously. As they all should. That's pretty much it. What else you want to know?"

"She sounds like an amazing person." Harry said. "I'm trying to figure out something though. I wasn't a hairy baby, nor my sister or my mother or dad. How is this baby so hairy? How did doctor Wilson even see that?"

YN looked at him in disbelief, "you failed your science classes by any chance?"

"Yeah, twice but what does that have to with--" he paused, "oh, oh. I'm sorry I didn't to say it like that. I also didn't want to assume. Just looking out for you that's all as you said you can't lie down and--"

"Okay, okay calm down." She stopped him, "it's okay, it's okay."

"Did she tell you what you can do to help with the heartburn?" He asked.

"Nope. Can just hope for the best." She shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. F.Y.I. sir, I was a very fussy baby as well. Good luck with that."

"You're joking?"

"Nope."

"You're joking!"

"I am not."

"Yes you are, you cheeky, you're laughing."

Now she was laughing, "you saw how much I still cry, right?"

He sighed, "yeah."

"We should go back in, they're about to play my favourite song." YN suggested. Harry was up on his feet immediately ready to help her up.

"Yeah? How do you know that?"

"I made the playlist, duh!"

They walked to the wedding party back. Or more like, Harry followed YN like a little smitten little kitten. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran started playing.

"Would you like to dance with me, ma'am?" Harry offered his hand with extra add on of his charm.

"I'd love to." YN placed her hand in his. Harry took the opportunity to lace his fingers through her in a delicate hold, and slid his other hand around her waist. The baby in between wasn't enough to keep a modest distance.

"This alright?" He whispered as he swayed both of them to the soft tune.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"What is with you and that doctor?" He asked all of a sudden looking behind her.

"Who? Doctor Jones?" She asked.

"Mhmm."

"Nothing. He's just a nice dude. Why did you ask that?"

"He's been oogling at ya the whole day!" Harry scoffed.

"By the way this is my favourite song." YN tried to change the subject and it worked.

"Is that Ed Sheeran?"

"Yeah!"

"He's one of my best mates." He casually bragged.

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"You are kidding!" She gasped.

"I am not. I have his number."

"You have Ed Sheeran's number?" She sounded gobsmacked.

"Yeah."

"Oh my god! Can you get me his signed record?" And she gasped again at her own idea.

"He's on tour right now, but I'll try." He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction, he place her hand in his on his shoulder as he reached to tuck her hair behind her ear again. "You look very pretty tonight, have I told you that?"

"I don't know." She shrugged nonchalantly, but she's screaming inside.

YN tried her best to keep her feelings in check. Like, it's not right. Today though, she did took time to really just take all the feelings in.

Oh boy, did he looked extra, extra dreamy today!

His hair grown out a tiny bit. He now styled his hair in a middle part, his stubble ever so slightly showing. His eyes looked so vibrant and relax, like there were no worries about anything behind them.

And today is about celebrating love too!

He wore a baby blue suit, with his staple white dress shirt. Which is always see through and top three buttons undone. His classic cross necklace, he switched it out to a gold one few weeks ago. And the tattoos on his pecks peeking through as always, which she believed are some kind of birds surrounded by little hairs on his chest.

It was touch of his soft thumb just under her lip which brought her back on earth. His face was just so close to her. That's when someone screamed her name.

"Oh god!" She was spooked.

"It's alright, who is that?" Harry asked looking behind her. It was one of Kayla's childhood friend, Hadleigh.

"YN!" The girl exclaimed as she approached her.

Now, Hadleigh and YN hardly talk to one another. But when they first met, they were really good friends. Until Hadleigh went ahead and shot her shot, telling YN that she had started to like her.

Well, it isn't like YN's not into girls, but she's confused if she's in girls like that in the first place. But most importantly, she wasn't looking for a partner that time (nor is she now unless it's Harry). YN's always been so focused on her career, she never gave going out or being in a relationship a shot ever. It just haven't been her cup of tea to begin with.

Plus, she didn't want to be vulnerable and open to someone.

Hadleigh of course was very understanding and respected her feelings. She got busy with her job as real estate developer. And life went on.

"Hadleigh, so nice to see you!" YN exclaimed.

"Same here," the blue eyed girl smiled as she took YN in for a hug, "I know I missed the ceremony but gosh this is amazing!"

"It is." YN had to agree, the party was lit.

"Oh, you're pregnant!" Hadleigh almost squealed.

"I, uhhh..." YN stuttered, "yeah."

"Congratulations!" She gave YN another hug.

"Thank you." YN smiled not knowing what to say, "this is Harry by the way." YN turned to Harry was stood just half a step behind her. "And Harry, this is Hadleigh. Kayla's kindergarten friend."

"Oh, nice to meet you Hadleigh." Harry approached her with a handshake.

"Nice to meet you too, Harry." Hadleigh shook hands with him. "Oh, looks like the bride is finally free. I'm gonna go talk to her before she gets busy again."

"Yeah sure." YN nodded.

"You want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked once Hadleigh was gone, YN looked exhausted.

"No, I'll just go sit somewhere." She shared.

"Come." He grabbed her hand and guided her to the now empty dining tables set to a side, he pulled a chair for her to sit facing the dance floor, he pulled a chair like he did at the ice cream place on her birthday that night. His knee touching hers.

"Is it really that obvious, I'm pregnant?" She asked, her hand on her swollen belly now really showing she is in fact very pregnant. But she's been feeling insecure lately. She had to run last minute to the tailor to get her dress readjusted, even though it was made keeping in mind she'd grow by the time of the wedding.

Well, she's almost in her third trimester (twenty eight weeks). It was obviously going to show. YN just doesn't want to admit that this time is going way too fast.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, confused of her sudden change in mood.

"I-- she knew just by looking at me?" She wondered.

"She hugged you, darling." Harry defended her from herself, "I mean it's not a bad thing, is it?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Are they moving now?" He asked.

"Yeah, like crazy!" She sighed, "see!"

Harry carefully kept his hand where her's was, she placed hers on his. He felt a jolt which made him almost jump. "That was strong!" He commented laughing.

"Yeah." YN nodded.

It warmed her heart how he already adored the baby, they aren't even born yet.

And it also makes her heart sore thinking this is the only time she'll get with the baby. She's been contemplating to ask him if she could still see them from time to time. She would be fine if he never told them she's their mother. But it felt wrong.

After all he's just a complete stranger she met through a surrogacy agency website online, got pregnant via IVF, failed one time but worked the second, he paid her for carrying the baby. She's already grown to love the baby so much that it also felt wrong that she did it all for money at first.

She doesn't want him to think she's in with wrong intentions if she asks to see the baby in future.

Though, she's already paid one of the installments to the remaining amount he had lent her. He doesn't know about it, but his accountant and Personal Assistant does.

"You good?" Harry sounded concerned. That's when YN realised her eyes were getting watery as she thought about everything.

"Yeah. Just a little sleepy." She made an excuse, which he surprisingly belived.

"Do you really want to go back to the hotel, YN? You know we can." He suggested.

"No, I'm fine. I promise." She assured him.

They sat there in corner watching the party go on. Until Kayla came and approached YN herself, she was little tipsy but she pulled a chair next to her.

"You look tired." She spoke, "I think should really go and rest."

Harry jumped in too, "that's what I said."

"See, he agrees too." Kayla pointed out. "You need to rest!"

"I know, but I'm having fun just sitting here." YN shared. And she is indeed having fun there.

The party eventually came, newly weds were off to their honeymoon. This was all new to YN, as everything was over in merely three days.

Harry drove YN back to the hotel room. His was booked right next tk hers. They walked as it was just to the walking distance.

"This ended very quickly." She commented.

"Quickly?" Harry got confused.

"The wedding." YN shared, "it went on barely three days, it was just a bachelorette party, then going over some things the next day, then the wedding, this happened really quickly."

"That's a long time."

"No, it's not. Wedding functions usually last for weeks. Not that I like or enjoy any of those, but it was still significantly different experience." She explained.

"Yeah?" Harry sounded in amusement. They reached her room there, it was too quick for Harry's liking.

"Hmm, Indian wedding usually last for about two weeks to a month." YN shared as she opened up the door to her room.

"Have to attend an Indian wedding myself then, eh." He beamed, "I'm just next door to you, call me if you need anything, hmm?"

"I will, thank you." She nodded. "Wait... This is not my room." She checked the card key.

"Got you stuff moved here. It's a lot more comfortable." He explained.

"This is a freaking suite Harry, who's going to pay for it?!" She opened the door and was shocked to see the room.

It had light blocking curtains, a massive bed she doesn't have to now share with Julia. It had it's own sofa and coffee table by what she reckoned is a floor to ceiling glass window.

"I did." He said, "try to get some sleep now darling."

......................................................................

It was middle of the night and YN was craving chocolates.

Now, she can hold herself off till she can get something to eat which she is craving. It was a different kind of urge now. Especially when she couldn't eat the chocolate desserts as they had Rum in it. Kayla almost killed off the caterers for not having a Alcohol free dessert as she asked for specially for her best friend.

YN could go down to the hotel gift shop and buy a very expensive bar of chocolate but she just want to get out of her room. The bed is awfully comfy. And she couldn't sleep because every time she goes to lie down, her stomach acids want to gush out of esophagus. So she called Harry. Sent the man out to get her chocolates. And he did so. The gift shop was closed off he messaged her so he drove to a nearest shop to get her what she wanted. It looked like he bought the whole store when he got back with just more than just chocolates she asked for.

"Is this enough, darling?" He set everything on the little coffee table by the floor to ceiling window which was now closed off by light blocking curtains.

"That's too much Harry!" She walked upto him. "Just asked for a few chocolates."

"Well, I figured you might be hungry as you didn't eat much tonight." He pulled out a few bags of crisps, "usually don't condone eating junk food, but this is the best we can do at two in the morning."

"Thank you!" She cooed and hugged him tight.

Harry was taken back. Not by her hugging him but by the butterflies in his tummy. He hugged her back though. Her hugs are always warm and welcoming.

"Of course, my love." He rubbed her back gently, "why didn't you sleep?"

And she got to opening a bar of chocolate as she sat down on the sofa chair, right next to him. "I can't sleep. Everytime I try, my stomach acids want just gush out." She munched on the chocolate and yawned.

She really needs sleep, but she can't sleep sitting up. It's very dangerous. She might fall off her bed, or sleep in a position which might hurt the baby.

"Oh look," she grabbed a hold on his wrist and place it on her stomach for Harry to feel the punches. "And there goes the jab!"

"Ouch!" Harry almost felt that under his skin, "they're being a trouble maker, aren't they! Go to sleep now, will you little wrestler!"

"What the hell!" YN stopped feeling them move out of nowhere. "Did they just stopped moving?"

Harry chuckled, "they already listen to their Papa, don't they?" His thumb ran gentle strokes over the oversized shirt she wore.

"Yeah." She's in awe again. But took advantage and moved back to relax maybe take in a nap before long car ride back home the next day. Harry got up quickly and got the blanket from the bed.

"C'mere." He sat next to her again with his arm draped onto the back rest of the sofa. YN hesitantly leaned in resting her head on his shoulder as she tried to sleep.

......................................................................

Next morning was chaos.

YN was throwing up so their drive back was delayed. Julia was accompanying them as Harry offered. He saved her the hassle of taking a train back home. So it was now Julia and YN play arguing over some snacks they bought just before getting in the car.

Harry had a great time watching them bicker back and forth without offending one another. He'd act as if he's not paying attention when either of them tried to bring him in their pretend argument, not wanting to be the bad guy.

That was pretty much it for the day.

......................................................................

The very next day was when Harry resumed his duty of taking her to and from work.

He wants to make sure she's safe and sound himself. Sure he trust Jeremy with his own life. But he gets more time to spend with YN.

"Hi!" She greeted him with a warm smile on her in morning when he picked her up.

Harry took to this very lovely breakfast place, one because Lizzie is on a vacation, and two he can't cook to even save his life without burning down his kitchen. He's hungry and he knows she might have not eaten well either.

"I can't believe you out of all people are eating out today!" YN pointed out sipping on her smoothie.

"Lizzie is on a vacation." He shared.

"You didn't cook?" Harry just glanced at her sheepishly, "so you're going to eat out till she comes back?"

"I guess, or maybe I'll crash at my mum's."

She giggled, "come over tonight, I'll make you something to eat."

"You don't have to darling, you're already tired enough." He found her glaring at him, enough to be intimidating. "Alright!"

And that's what they did. Harry picked her up from work and they went straight to grocery shopping, because she didn't had much left at home and they went back to her place.

Julia was home, watching TV.

Harry had figured the blondie is fun to hang out with, she just hated him for reasons he doesn't know. Well, maybe for treating her best friend like crap that night at his bar.

"Hello mamas, how was your day?" She spoke looking behind, "oh look mister grumpy pants is here too!"

"Hello to you too, blondie." Harry waved at her.

"You're staying in tonight, J?" YN asked to which Julia nodded, "I'm making dinner."

"I was just going to order us Pizza!" Blondie gasped in excitement and followed the pair into the kitchen. Harry noticed a few boxes in the kitchen. Like someone was moving out.

"Who's moving out?" He asked.

"The newly weds." Julia shared as YN made a run to the loo. "They got their own place now."

"Awh!" Harry cooed. Both of them took out the ingredients from the bags mean while YN came back, in a civil manner. Civil manner from Julia mostly.

"Can I please have the kitchen to myself?" YN asked as she stepped back in the kitchen. She doesn't like the clutter in kitchen when she's cooking, and knowing her best friend, Blondie would definitely pick a fight with Harry.

"I'll leave." Julia saw herself out to continue watching whatever animal documentary she was watching.

"I'm staying to help." Harry announced as he rolled up sleeves of his white dress shirt. YN said nothing as she handed him an apron, knowing his short costs as much as a month worth of rent.

She started off by chopping onions and tomatoes. Harry's eyes almost started tearing up as he stood there waiting for her instructions to do something.

"Oh my god those onions!" He hissing covering his eyes and making YN laugh.

"Go sit out, I can do this." She told him.

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine." He sniffled. "What are we having though?"

"Okra, which is Bhindee, Roti, rice and Daal." She shared the menu with him.

"Never had that before." He sounded intrigued to try new food, "the most I've had is Biryani, Jeremy's wife made."

"You're missing out." She sighed dramatically.

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Guess we'll have to ask Lizzie to make new foods then." He announced. And he for sure is going to ask his cook to make some new foods.

Harry had a few things to share with her, but given her friend is in other room he figured he'll do that the next day.

Barely two and half months till baby is here, the appointments were now every other week instead of every month. He wanted to know when was she planning to put in her maternity leave.

He just wants her to be comfortable, standing for hours on hours teaching is very fucking tiring. And dealing with teenagers? That's whole new level of difficult in his opinion. Though the summer vacation have already begun, she still went to work.

The cat, Noodle just walked past his legs to YN and lingered around the kitchen as she cooked.

"Can you stir this a few times in between?" YN asked him.

"Yes!" He's been waiting for this, he took on the work. The dinner was done in no time. Even the cat was given it's dinner around the same time.

Harry had a quiet night watching a Dinasaur documentary. YN seemed very interested in that as they all sat on the floor with coffee table as their dining table.

......................................................................

The very next week. Kayla and Josh were back from their honeymoon as they got ready to move out.

Even Julia had found herself a place to move to so she can afford the rent. YN was going to live at Harry's place, as per the contract as she's nearing the due date.

Like promised, Harry took days off to help YN pack up her stuff. She just clothes and a few things to move, like her bed which she sold as she'd have nowhere to keep it. And that was it.

It was pretty emotional leaving the place she called home from past five years. She hoped she'd finally get to go see her dad this summer but maybe she can go during winter break.

Back at Harry's, she got the room she spent a night at once. The closet was empty for her to fill it up.

YN didn't know what was upstairs, maybe Harry didn't used that floor. His bedroom was downstairs, maybe the floor above had guest bedrooms. She remembered Lizzie saying it is a six bedroom house. There were few people working in the other spare room that day. Maybe he's getting the nursery ready.

That thought made YN's heart sink again.

She spent a couple of hours just putting her clothes away from the boxes. She didn't know she had that many clothes, and none of those fit her anyway now. So she placed all of the clothes which don't fit her and she doesn't want to wear in a separate box to donate.

She was just on her last box when Harry came in with tea and a few snacks. He knew she needed to take her vitamins and few other medications doctor have prescribed to her, she needed to eat something for that. They had a very early lunch.

"You want me to help you with those?" He asked as he placed the tray on the ottoman in the closet.

"I'm almost done. Those are for donation." YN explained.

"That's like half of your closet." He pointed out, she just sighed and continued to place last few closed in their shelves. "We'll go shopping tomorrow, yeah?"

"It's fine, I am fine with these for now." She gesture at the clothes she had.

It looked like the closet was empty. She never had a walk in closet before, it was very new to her. She had very limited space at her last place anyway.

"Come on now I got Chai and snacks. Made it just the way you showed me yesterday." He grabbed a gentle hold of her hand as he walked her out. "You want to make any modifications to this room? We should add a study table so you can work comfortably."

"I just have a week and half of work left, don't need a study table. But thank you." She tried her best to smile but all she could think about was the baby she will never see again.

"You alright?" Harry could sense she is in deep thoughts but he let her decide if she wants to share it.

"Yeah, I just need a nap." Maybe she can sleep and her worries would go away. Yeah, she can try that whilst the baby is not moving.

"Okay, but at least eat something, yeah?" He suggested, "I'll be just outside."

"Mhmm." She picked up the mug of chai. She is going to eat before she sleep though.

......................................................................

YN couldn't sleep. So she decided to take a warm shower, got everything ready but she got a call from her dad. She just sat there talking to him for a while.

She hadn't told her dad that the baby was her's too, and she wasn't just carrying it for a couple. Not that he would be mad, but she just wanted someone to share it with. Someone who she shared that close bond with.

They talked about her little brother's latest behaviours, how he's getting back on track and getting the help he needs. Her dad shared that he went upto him to talk about it. YN was relieved from that worry of her. Her dad also shared how her brother was interested in modeling and that he's gone to a few casting too and all that stuff. He also shared that the doctors gave him a pass that he can go work in person in a next few months given his very fast recovery.

YN was over the moon hearing that. That was the reason she took that very big decision.

She had a nice cry and stayed in her designated room all night, sulking in her bed.

At least she got some sleep.

Harry didn't bother her until the next morning when she had breakfast in her room. He went to check in on her and take her shopping like he said last night. He managed to convince her to with him. But that was it.

......................................................................

Harry had managed to get YN's input on the nursery, which was very slowly coming together. He didn't mind if it was finished before the baby is here, because they won't be sleeping alone for a long time. She helped him build the cot, the dresser and changing table after the room was painted.

It was all wholesome and animal themed, on her suggestion. The room was already filled with a load of sensory toys, stuffed animals and loads of story books. The half of the room was already being planned to be padded with crash pads and a pretty soft rug on top and a small play fence. Everything was baby proof in the entire house already.

He was working from home now so he could do rest of work himself. Of course he encouraged YN to help him because all she did was sulk in her room after she was done working. But now she's not working. Her summer break as teacher had begun and she'd miss the next semester due to her maternity leave.

Just two weeks and half to the due date. It was rhe thirty-ninth week, almost fortieth.

"I don't know mum." YN overhead Harry talking to his mother about something. He was on his laptop looking for something, "yup that's great idea, I'll ask the doctor." She reckoned it must be about the baby so she waddled carefully towards him.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I don't know which diapers to get. What if little bean has sensitive skin?" He whined in concern.

YN tried to hold back her laugh but failed, "get the reusable cotton ones. But yeah, you'll have to wash like a fifty of them at least twice a day."

"Is that really a good choice then?" He asked, now intrigued.

"Hmm." YN nodded. "I've usually seen grandma's making cloth diapers from used cotton clothes for babies. It's not harsh on their skin. I looked after my brother when he was a baby and my dad and grandma prohibited the use of single use diapers, unless we were going out or something. I've heard from a few friends back home that now you can buy those online too."

"Yeah?" He was impressed, "how many do you think will the baby need?"

"The more the merrier." She shrugged and started waddling back in kitchen.

There was a lot of left over noodles left in the fridge from lunch, which Lizzie left because she had leave early due to some emergencies. Or that all would go to the homeless in the community. The lady hated seeing the food go to waste.

Harry followed after her. He found her new waddle adorable. "You having dinner?"

"Yeah, you want me to heat up some for you too?" She asked as she took out the container.

"Yeah," he nodded, "do you want to watch a movie or something?" To which she surprisingly agreed.

He's been worried about her lately spending all her days in her room. Making up excuses so she can be in her room. They ate and sat watching The Witcher together on the sofa.

Harry had her tucked closer to him with his hand on the bump. Both were getting comfortable with one another. It was getting harder and harder for Harry to find a way fast enough to confess his feelings for her. He doesn't want it to be too late, but he barely knows how to. With a baby in mix.

He is in a complicated situation.

So is YN. She's grown comfortable around him. It's difficult when he's got to go for in person meeting last minute. She's gotten used to his antiques and how he bugs her every other hour to eat something or just do something with him. He's also managed to get her out for a nice walk, luring her with promises of ice cream. Which worked all the time.

She knows she's way past her infatuation, crush, and like phases with him. She's halfway sure she's in love with him. It was new.

She's only been with one person before but it only lasted for barely three months. She's been through the first few stages, but not this.

And there is a baby in the mix. Everything is happening backwards or out of order to confuse her even more.

But she's sleepy because has stopped moving for a few minutes now, or at least they've stopped kicking and punching her insides. She's learned to. She snuggled closer to Harry as her eyelids got heavier and heavier, until she was fast asleep.

......................................................................

It was the forty-first week. Harry and YN were out on a walk to go get ice cream. He had just gotten home from his last minute meeting. Lizzie so nicely offered to stay with her until he's back home. He hadn't even got to change as he directly to serving YN the dinner before he took her out to ice cream place.

They met his elderly neighbours who thought that he's got a wife now, they congratulated the couple as they walked past after a few minutes of talking. It was awkward, but made YN feel silly and giddy inside.

Turned out they know Harry very well, but the elderly couple seemed to be in hurry before either them could say anything. The walk to and from ice cream shop was slightly awkward. But they had to hurry back as YN was felt a sharp contraction.

Highly likely, it wasn't a Braxton Hicks thing, given the baby could arrive anytime.

YN wanted to be back in comfort of her bed in case anything happens. And Harry said he wanted to talk about something to her, maybe share something.

Maybe it was about how she'll have to leave the baby now. Maybe there were a few legal obligations. She had so many maybe's running through her mind in that moment. And Harry forgot about it in worries of what was happening.

Her contractions kept getting closer and closer rapidly every hour and half. It wasn't until her water broke. She was in bathroom luckily.

YN started panicking inside. She's not the one to scream when in pain, but she is wincing. It felt like her period cramps were on some heavy drugs and steroids.

"Hey, hey look at me." Harry tried to get her attention, "breathe with me, darling, it's okay." He did the rapid breathing exercises with her a few times before he got to getting the hospital bag. Even stuffed a spare outfit managed to get in the bag.

The drive to the car was painful and slow. There was no traffic given it was four in the morning. Harry had to drive carefully. He just hated seeing her cry in pain like that, getting flashbacks. This time the baby is healthy, YN is healthy. He parked closee to the entrance.

"Help me out please." YN mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry hurried out, but another contraction hit her. "It's okay, breathe baby." He held her hand tightly.

"It hurts, it hurts so bad!" She is crying, tears falling down her cheeks and all.

"It is going to hurt more if you keep holding your breath, darling." He rubbed his hand on her back.

She sighed, "I'm good, I'm good." Announcing she carefully stepped out of the car.

Harry followed her behind closely because she said she can walk just fine. Or waddle just fine enough. They were just halfway through the maternity department when another contraction hit her.

She stopped mumbling, grabbing onto Harry for support.

YN knew she can't handle this pain, she can only imagine how it would be pushing a heavy ass baby out through her vagina. It was going to hurt even more. A lot more. She can't do that now. Can she back off?

"We're so close love, you think you can walk?" Harry asked.

"Yes." She nodded and walked to the reception where they were checked in.

YN was asked to change into a hospital gown immediately and checked on. She was dilating on a good pace, and she was advised to move around to speed up the process even faster. She paced back and forth in the room but her pain was getting worse every passing contraction.

"You, you want to call your family and tell them?" YN suggested as she sped walked up and down in the labour and delivery room.

"I will do that later, YN," he shared, "you can ask for the epidural, you know?"

"I know, I know, just not now." She sniffled on her tears, but she broke down crying sat on the edge of hospital bed.

"Hey, c'mere." He hugged her, "everything is going just fine."

"I don't know, I don't know if I can do this." She sobbed, "I want to have a C-section. I can't do this."

"It's more risky, darling." Harry was surprised, "you can do this."

"Just talk to the doctor for me, please--" another contraction hit her right in the crotch.

And Harry did. After all it's her body, she can decide whatever. Given she's in agony and her decisions might not be right. He wouldn't invalidate her feelings like that. But Doctor Wilson adviced against her idea, unless there is an emergency, because honestly it had more risks to her. That made her real upset.

"Hey, you know there are cons to it." Harry cooed as he sat next to her, "the recovery time is longer, it's more painful, there are more chances of hemorrhage. I know you can do it."

"I don't care, I just want them to healthy."

"They're healthy, love, look you can see and hear their heartbeats there." He pointed at the heart monitor which was keeping track of the baby's heartbeat.

It was half past six in the morning, when YN finally gave in and asked for an epidural at eight centimetres dilation. Harry was asked to step out just so the room is clear and the procedure is done without any interruptions. It took them a whole hour to call him back in. Meanwhile he called his mother and asked her to come over if she could, he honestly didn't know what he could do. YN was in so much pain and it was getting just as hard on him to watch. He cried on the phone call with his mum.

But just a few minutes later YN seemed less stressed. "How are you feeling now?"

"Can't feel much waist down." She chuckled slightly, "this is why I waited so long to get the epidural."

"At the pain is less now, right?"

"Mhmm."

"You want anything?" He sniffled.

"You were crying?" She realised, "no, why are you crying Harry, the baby is fine."

"I know, I know." He nodded, "I'll get you more ice chips, yeah, just five minutes?"

"Okay."

Harry so badly wanted to tell her that he cares about her as well there. He is crying of two reasons, the baby is going to be here today and he just can't see her suffer like that. His mum was there by that time. She brought him coffee and said Gemma was on the way with breakfast for everyone.

Harry just couldn't bring himself to eat until way after the baby is here. But it was nice of his sister. His mum went out to get more bottles of water whilst he brought the ice chips to YN. He noticed the contraction were way harder than he last checked but she wasn't hissing in pain like before rather she lied there with her eyes closed.

"Hey YN, you want anything?" He asked again handing her cup.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you for this." She smiled.

"Those are higher than the last time I checked." He looked at the monitor again.

"It's feels like period cramps now." She shared, "it's bearable."

"That great!" He flashed his dimply smile finally. "Now, I, I-- to be honest I don't know what to do or say, so I just asked my mum to come over. She can be a great help, I, I can just call her in if you need to talk to her about anything which she can help with."

"No, you didn't had to bother her. I'm fine." A crease formed between her brows, a look of worry. He should asked his family to come visit after the baby was here, especially his mother. She bet the lady has more important work to do than be there to help her.

"It's alright, love." It was his mother. Pretty evident as Harry looks like a copy of her. "You're not a bother." She placed the water bottles on the side table. "I'm Anne, Harry's mum."

"Hello, I'm YN," she greeted her with a smile, "I feel bad now."

"It's okay, you can tell me what you need. I had two kids of my own, so I bet I can be pretty good help." Anne smiled.

She waited around the back as nurse checked on YN twice already. Harry sat next to her on the edge of her bed. His mum of course knew everything, he told her before he even told YN about it. In hope she might have a way to help him. She tried but he is just too anxious for that.

"What are you going name them?" She asked.

"Have a few names picked out, you want to help me?" He pulled out his phone and opened his notes app before she could say anything. "Let me know if you have any suggestions too." He handed her his phone. He had a list of ten names each for boy and girl and some just neutral names.

"You sure you want me to have a look?"

"Of course!" He shrugged.

Another good few hours went by, YN was starting to feel more pain but it was not something crazy. She was finally given a green flag for pushing. It wasn't as painful as she thought it would be due to the epidural she got, though she's sure it's gonna kick once it wears off. She didn't know how long she has been pushing for or now many were needed, all she thought about the baby's health. A nurse placed a clean towel over her chest.

YN panicked as the baby didn't started crying immediately, but they did once their back was rubbed. It was a loud high pitched scream cry.

"It's a girl!" Doctor Wilson announced as she placed the girl on her chest and YN stopped breathing in that moment.

That shouldn't have happened. They should have taken the baby away immediately. Now she was holding onto her, she doesn't want to let go. She started sobbing too.

"She does have a lot of hair." Harry commented, that's when YN realised she wasn't alone in the room with the new baby girl, her crying had gotten down to just few whimpers.

"Yeah!" YN cooed.

"Alright, YN a few more pushes for the afterbirth." Doctor Wilson caught her attention and someone was picking up the girl off her chest.

"No, no don't take her please." YN panicked, "please!"

"Can we please hold her longer?" Harry asked the nurse who of course agreed to it. YN held onto the girl the entire time until the pediatrician said they really have to weigh and check on the baby.

Harry stayed by her side as his mum was there whilst they checked the baby girl. YN looked at him confused. "You want some water?" He fetched her the bottle of water, "you did so amazing, she's here. It's a girl!"

"Like you wanted." YN nodded.

......................................................................

YN was all changed up into a clean hospital gown. She was given a very hearty meal.

The baby girl weighed nine pounds and eight ounces, no wonder why YN couldn't walk by the very end. She's definitely got a lot of hair on her head.

YN wasn't asked to feed her, hell, she haven't even got to see her again even though they're in the same room. She have been bleeding very bad so her stay at the hospital will be by the next evening. It was way past afternoon now. Harry has been going back and forth between her and the baby girl. She had asked him to talk to the pediatrician saying she's fine there as the nurse checked on her.

She doesn't even know what's her name is going to be.

"Ms. YLN, do you have family or friends we can call up for your discharge next day?" A nurse asked YN, everyone knows it's just a surrogacy case. By the talk of nurse, looked like Harry could take the baby home by tonight or even by early evening.

"Yeah, I, I'll call my friend." She nodded. The lady then proceeded to ask her questions on her pain levels, how she was feeling.

"Alright, we'll move you to the recovery room but you are advised to walk around every hour or so, for as much as you physically can." The nurse explained, "please don't push yourself to do more than you can."

"I will." YN nodded again. She tried to get off her bed and go find her phone in the mess which was the sofa chair now. It was painful, every step but she has to move around anyway, it wasn't certainly her first time out of bed after giving birth. She can say it was teeny bit less pain. She found her phone to text Julia to come over toni to the hospital. "Hello."

"Hey sexy, what's up?" Julia spoke.

"Just had the baby few hours ago." YN shared, talking as low as she could, "can I please ask you for a favour?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I want you to come pick me up tomorrow, they want to keep me here overnight so I don't bleed out." YN shared, "and uhhhh... I'll also be needing help to get, ummm... my clothes and stuff the next morning. I, I promise I'll be out as soon as I find a flat."

"Are you kidding me?" Is the first thing Julia yelled, "isn't Harry going to be taking care of the afterbirth thing too?"

"I don't know. I forgot. I'm just feeling so alone right now. I don't want to bother him, he's with the baby and his mum." YN was trying hard not to cry. "Please come and see me?"

"I, I will as soon as I get off work, yeah?" Julia now sounded worried, "I'll ask if I can clock out early."

"Thank you!"

"Don't mention it, I'll be there. I promise!"

"Okay." She hung up the call.

"Hey, what are you doing out of bed love?" She heard Harry, "you feeling better now?"

"Yeah." She sounded walking back to the bed, "nurse said I'll be moved to the recovery room. They want to keep here for the night."

"No, what's wrong?" He followed her, baby in his arms. YN watched Anne leave whilst on a phone call, "what did they say?"

"It's nothing, I, I am bleeding too much." She shared, "I, I should probably go to the bathroom now."

"You want me to call the nurse?"

"No, I'll be fine." YN walked to the loo as fast as she could. When she came out the baby was crying and whining. The nurses were in and out of the room since they got there, she is already overwhelmed enough.

"Do you know how to swaddle her?" Harry sounded terrified, "changed her nappy, I don't know what's going on!"

"Let me see." She went ahead and put the new baby in a warm cosy swaddle.

"That's incredible!" Harry gasped, "look at her, all cosy now."

"Yeah." Baby girl is still whining. She's defin hungry. "Did she eat anything?"

"No, I wanted to ask if, if you wanted to breastfeed her. Only if you're fine." Harry shared, "the nurse is gone to bring the formula just incase."

"You'd be fine with that?"

"You sound surprised. Of course I'd be fine with that." He doesn't know what is going on. "I mean it's your choice at the end."

"I, I know--" before she could say anything further the nurse was back. But she rather ended up showing YN now to feed the baby.

That made her feel like dying now as she watched the baby nurse from her breast. She's in an awful state in that moment. But the baby had a full tummy, was burped and lied on her cot. It's exhausting being born, isn't it!

"Hey, what is going on YN?" Harry asked, finally.

"Nothing, I told you."

"It's not nothing. You're spacing out, come on talk to me darling." He cooed as he sat on the edge of her bed, "what did you mean they're going to move you to the recovery room? I don't know what is going on."

"You're not going home with her?"

"Not without you, no." He seemed more confused, "I'm more confused, YN."

"The nurse told me to call family or friends so they can take me home the next day." She shared, "I, I guess you can take her home in a few hours."

"You're coming home. Can't leave you like this here." He is now getting mad, "I told you I'm going to take care of you after the baby is here as well, didn't I? Not going to leave you alone. Little bean needs you, I need you."

"Why did she said it like that then?" She looked at him with eyes pooled up with tears.

"I'll talk to them," he assured her, "I know why she said it like that. I promise you I'm not going to leave you here. Why didn't you tell me before, hmm?"

"You were with you mother and baby, didn't wanted to bother you."

"I'm sorry you felt that way, but you're never a bother. Especially to me." He pushed her baby hair out of her face, "we'll go to the recovery room, have something to tell you."

"Okay." YN nodded, "I, I need to tell Julia, I, I called as I panicked. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He assured her again, "you can ask your friends to come see her when we're out of here so it's more comfortable."

Harry made sure to make it clear that the baby and the mother are going to stay until she is discharged too, and that she is to be treated kindly there. He's seen a few nurses there being mean to her. Just because they knew little bean is related to her too and she was just giving away her child like that. Those nurses had a shift change anyway.

Gemma came over to see the baby too, she came with warm and healthy lunch. It was from a restaurant as she burnt the lasagna she was making on accident, hence why Anne hurried out. Least to say Gemma cried holding little bean.

"Is that hair underneath the hat?" She slightly pushed the hat back to check, "oh my god, yeah!"

"Yeah, got that from her mum." Harry bragged, YN almost choked on the water she was drinking hearing him say that.

Both of the ladies stayed till the last visiting hours. Finally there was quietness. Little bean had yet another meal, and is now laying on YN's shoulder. She's also been already holding up her head, and opening her eyes. She got those from Harry. Her fluffy cheeks had the slightest of the dimples.

It was a Styles trademark now, the dimples.

"When we get back," Harry spoke catching YN's attention, "I wanted to ask you a few things, make sure you're fine with them."

"Mhmm."

"I don't quite know how to help, this is obviously new. So I looked into it, found out about the Doula, they come in and help with the postpartum period, help take care of the baby. It'll be healthy for you and her." He tried his best to explain it in a best way possible, "I, I also know it's a huge part of the culture where you're from. We can or not go with the confinement thing, however you prefer it. So if you're fine with that, or we can figure it out as we go."

"No, no, I'd really like that." YN agreed, "frankly I don't know what to do either, I'm more tired now."

"We can stay in our little bubble until you recover and she's a bit older then, yeah?" He suggested, "and also, I've been wanting to ask you this for a while."

"Hmm, what?"

"I, I know you did not sign up for this. Was thinking of terminating the agreement you signed." He was holding onto his breath tightly, readying himself for her reaction, "I, I think she'd be more happier to have her second parent around."

"Really?" She's now crying again. The baby can call her Mumma now.

"Mhmm, I've already told my lawyer to get on it." He explained and a few more things, "we'll just have to sign the discharge papers and her birth certificate tomorrow before we take her home."

It warmed his heart to see how much little bean is loved already. The first time he got to hold her, all of the air was sucked out of his lungs. So tiny, and she felt warm against him, just how she moved her head to find a comfortable position to sleep on in his arms, hopefully feeling safe and sound.

It was a rainbows and unicorns moment for him. He thought he wouldn't be able to feel that connection with her, though she's a whole new person. He needs time to get to know her. It was all unexplainable.

It made him furious seeing how she's been treated by some of the nurses today, but it all sorted now. He dropped a quick message to his assistant to get the Doula on board. He found someone just perfect. It was an Indian lady around his mum's age with decades and decades worth of experience. It would also make YN feel at home.

Even though he stayed away from making his own conclusions, he could tell YN was slipping away in her thoughts with the baby. He's seen how bonded she already was and he'd hear her randomly talking to bump, or taking pictures in the mirrors around the house. Her initial decision of declining his offer has always been enough to remind him. She held back on so many of her opinions.

He wanted to hear them all. He figured it would be very unfair for both baby girl and YN to be away from one another.

"Is it going to be me visiting her every weekend? Or how, how do you want it to go?" YN asked.

"About that..." Harry shuffled in his seat, which has been the same since they got to the hospital, right on the edge of her bed. "Can I hold your hand for this?" And he grabbed a hold of her hand which didn't had a IV needle in it. "Don't want you slapping me across the face."

"I would never!" She gasped making him chuckle sheepishly.

"Just kidding." He took in a deep breath. "I want to make that everyday. I'm going to be so bad at this, at least for a while. But I've grown fond of you. So, so, so fond of you, couldn't realise when I fell in love with you. I want to be with you if you want that. Things are not planned but they can be figured on the way. We can do this together." He doesn't even want to think about her rejecting him.

"Wait," a blank look on her face made him more and more anxious. She's just processing he reckoned. "You're saying you like me?"

"Yeah..." He tried to process her question too, "well, it's more than that actually."

"You like me?" She asked again, emphasising the first and last word of her question.

"Let's switch that like for love, then yes. Most definitely, yes!" He said, little firmly. She just looked so flabbergasted.

"So you don't like me?" She spoke overwhelmed of everything in that moment, "wait, what? My brain just... What?" That made Harry giggle.

"Is it that hard to believe I'd ever say that?" He asked.

"Never imagined you'd say that, to me." She scoffed in disbelief, she still doubts he might be pranking her.

"And why would you say that?"

"I don't know," she sighed almost on the edge of crying, "I've been nothing but mean to you all this time, even though I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I don't mean to cry either, I don't know what is going on!" And the water works started.

"Awh, darling it's alright!" Harry cooed and immediately pulled her in a hug, he recieved one right back, "today have been so overwhelming for you, I know that but couldn't wait till tomorrow. We have to sign up the paper work and I reckoned it would be bad idea to put you in spot on the last moment, in case you have changed your mind about anything."

"No, I, I will not." She shook her head now sniffling. "Did you really mean what you said?"

"Every single word." He placed a feathery kiss on top of her head. He would be contained if she doesn't feel the same way, he at least tried.  "I love you. More than a friend, more than just being mum of our new girl."

YN squeezed him tighter. Would be too awkward to tell him she loves him too? Why would it be awkward? She would sound stupid, wouldn't she?

"I love you." She mumbled.

"I love you!" He chuckled softly squeezing her right back.

"Oh, my back hurts." She shared pulling away from their hug. Her back really did hurt, every bone in her body hurt in that moment.

"Oops, sorry," he helped her with the pillows behind her back.

The baby girl softly sighing in her sleep right next to YN's hospital bed caught his attention. Her small mouth curled up in a O as she let out a long breath.

"It's tiring being born, isn't it?" Harry pulled the cot closer so he can place a kiss on his baby's head. She squirmed raising her swaddled legs kicking him right in the face, earning a gasp from him. "Oh, now I know how your Mummy felt."

"Hey she's just a baby!" He heard YN from behind.

"Yeah you two are going to team up against me." He surrendered in defeat already. "Just want to hold her for hours."

"She'll get used to it and won't let you sleep." YN shared. He agrees. She needs space to grow, he can be smothering all the time.

"A little smothering can be excused." He shrugged giving his full attention to her now. "This is going all backwards, isn't it?" He moved closer, holding her hand close to his heart after he placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"Doesn't matter though."

"No it doesn't." He smiled at her. "It's nearly dinner time, the Doula will be here anytime now."

"You already called her?" She looked rather shocked, "whem did you do that?"

"Texted my PA, and I got a text from her when you were feeding Bean, firmly warning me from giving you anything other than water." He shared.

"She's going to be the ultimate mama bear." YN giggled.

She's seen her Nani, her mum's mum looking after her daughters and her grand daughters during their postpartum confinement. It seems to be brutal that she has to give up icecream for the next six weeks, and burgers, and pizza, and every one of her favourite junk food, nothing but warm healthy food she'll be eating. It's going to be tough, but she signed up for it when she agreed.

Of course it isn't her Nani so it's going to be different she reckoned.

"Are we going to keep calling her Bean?" She asked.

"Not quite settled on any names you picked out." He said, "which one do you like the most? You chose, Starla, Evara and Juniper."

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"Come on, help me out here." He affirmed, "you know we're in this together."

"Okay, how about you pick from Juniper or Starla?" She shortened the list for him.

"Hmm, lets see." He looked at the baby for a second and back to YN. "Looks like she's meant to be named..." She looked at him eagerly, so hoping he'd pick her favourite name, "...Juniper?"

"Yeah!" She exclaimed, beaming at him now. "Is she going to have a middle name? It's a thing here right?"

"Don't you have a middle name?"

"I don't. We use our dads, or most recently either one of our parents name on the legal documents and stuff, otherwise no middle name." She explained.

"Shes definitely going to have a middle name." He nodded, "I have it picked out already."

"You do?"

"Mhmm, it's going to be a surprise for you till the morning." He leaned in closer, hoping he could steal a kiss finally.

"Okay--" before she could say anything there was a knock on the door. It was the Doula.

"Hello, I'm Mrs. Nimrit Singh." The lady introduced herself. Right off the bat, she had a very homely vibe to her, "I am the doula you contacted."

"Oh yes, I am Harry." Harry introduce himself, "and this is YN."

"Hello beta." She greeted YN with a bright smile and a warm hug.

"Hello," YN smiled back, all of a sudden feeling her anxiety and stress about how she'd deal with everything related to her postpartum. "This is Juniper."

"She's absolutely precious!" Mrs. Singh awed at the chubby baby sleeping in her cot.

"She is." Harry agreed.

"I brought you two dinner." She said, "and I also be wanting to know when you two will be going home so I can prepare accordingly."

"Doctor Wilson said we'll be discharged by tomorrow evening." YN shared and few more things Mrs. Singh asked for.

"Okay then, I'll bring breakfast in the morning." Mrs. Singh announced, "and Harry I want you to make sure she gets enough sleep and she doesn't drink or eat anything cold, it's not healthy for her or the baby."

"I will do that." Harry nodded, "no ice cream for you then Missy."

"No!" YN whined.

"Just six weeks and you can eat whatever you want." Mrs. Singh assured her, it melted YN's heart.

"Okay." She made a puppy face.

They all ate dinner together, getting to know one another as they'll be spending next month and half to two months together. Mrs. Singh is a very lovely lady, calm and bubbly at the same time. She stood shorter, graying hair at her hairline, pretty gray eyes held so much motherly love behind them. She also wanted to in and check herself jf the house was ready enough for the baby and the mother, ready a warm bath and stuff. It was all new to Harry but YN seemed to know what she was talking about there.

Mrs. Singh bonded well with YN and Harry. Apparently fathers go through a lot too during the postpartum, so she had asked him to tell her anything which is bothering him like she's his mother.

"Mrs. Singh, our house keeper and chef Lizzie will be there by five-thirty to six tomorrow if you needed anything." Harry shared as the lady was getting ready to leave for the night. "I'll let the guard know you'll be there."

"Thank you." She smiled again. She stayed for well over three hours before she left.

"She reminded me of my Mumma." YN shared, "she talks like her. She's even got gray eyes like my Mumma."

"Yeah? That's nice, isn't it?" Harey went and sat back on his place next to her, "I quite like her too, love her jokes."

YN moved to a side to make space for him, she patted the pillow, "come on."

"You sure?"

"Mhmm." And he got in, as he pulled her closer with his arm around her shoulder.

"You know this is probably the best day of my life." He shared.

"Is it?"

"Hmm." He sounded in agreement, "just took me too long to tell you how I feel. You've been anxious all day today."

"It's nothing, I forgot about it."

"Hope you at least could experience this to the fullest." He looked down to find him already looking at him, "you know the birth and all."

"Well, it was too enjoyable getting ripped open down there, but once doctor Wilson placed her on my chest it was everything!" And she'd give everything to experience that moment over and over again.

"Felt the same way when I held her for the first time." He shared too, "she was still whimpering, but calmed down as soon as I held her."

"You're her favourite."

"Oh come on, don't be jealous." He rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." She scoffed.

"Bean's mummy is my favourite too." He gave her a cheeky smile making her blush, she hugged him tight in response. "Hey, look at me please?"

"Yes?" She raised her head yet again to look at him action nonchalant, that earned a laugh from him.

"Promise me we'll give everything to make this work?" He intertwined his fingers with hers over his tummy, "if this, for any reason doesn't work out, we'd work together for Bean?"

Harry's anxiety about this has been all time high, since he came to terms with his feelings. He's been cheated on twice, went through messiest breakups, he wants Juniper to have the best life as possible. Regardless of what happens to him.

"Don't want to jinx anything. You know I've stayed away from all this for long now." He continued, "just to give this a try with you. Hopefully it works out."

"Why won't it?" She said, "I know I'm not in place to say this, but everything works out at the end and if doesn't it's fine. Well, I just need a moment to freak out a little before, you know that's just how I function. We can make this work."

"Don't know how you do this." He just shook his head in disbelief, not even twelve hours ago she has been freaking out, wanting be cut open thinking it'll be easier way out. "We can make this work, yeah."

"Yeah, that's the attitude!" She hyped him up. He knows it's her teacher side coming out.

"I didn't want it to be this way, but will you be my girlfriend, YN?" He leaned in closer to just feel her warmth.

"Mhmm." She rested her forehead on his. It was enough for him to make the first move, place his lips on hers. Butterflies made their way upto her head from her tummy making her brain grow fuzzy for a moment.

"Waited so long for this too." He mumbled before he was kissing her again, feeling her hand rest over his cheek. He eventually pulled away to let her breathe. "Think we should try and get some sleep?" He placed a delicate kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Yep."

......................................................................

Harry and YN slept all fine the entire night. In fact YN was still asleep when Bean woke up. She was given her vaccines and checked on once again. She's all healthy and fit to go to her home. They were being discharged just before breakfast.

Harry forgot the car seat at home, so he asked Jeremy to get it who so kindly agreed too. Harry got all the paper work done, his lawyer had already had the previous agreement terminated first thing this morning.

"And what will be her full name?" The nurse asked. YN looked at Harry because she doesn't know her middle name yet.

"It will be Juniper Sophia Styles." Harry spoke, "or it can be YLN-Styles, YN?"

"Oh, I," she was flabbergasted again, "I, I don't mind."

"It'll be YLN-Styles please." Harry told the nurse, even spelled out the name. Just a few signatures later they were walking out with the baby and their stuff. Harry held the bag with his arm around YN's waist as she had Bean in her arms.

They're just gonna call her Bean. It suits her more. She is a bean.

"You picked my mum's name to be her middle name?" YN asked and she waddled next to him.

It is still painful to walk okay!

"Of course I did, darling." Her agreed.

"Is that the new baby!" Jeremy gasped.

"She is!" YN cooed walking over to him.

"Oh she's precious!" Who knew Bean would melt a tough looking six and half feet bulky guy awing like a little person, but she did. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course you can!" YN handed Bean to him carefully as she helped Harry with the bags. Yep, they came with one bag but are leaving with two as the hospital gave YN some stuff which she needs, like medications, sanitary products, there was a pump and jar or formula just in case. There was a lot of stuff.

The car ride home was peaceful and calm, Bean was awake just staring at her mum sitting next to her, but she's mostly sleepy. She's all bundled up even though it's a little warmer on Mrs. Singh's advice. She needs time to adjust because it has always been warm in her mummy's belly. Her tiny hands were in tiny mittens and there was tiny beanie on her head which her Aunty Gemma knitted just for her by hand.

Jeremy drove as Harry was sat in the passenger seat.

They're going home.

YN is both anxious and excited to see what life has in store in future. At least she wouldn't have to leave her baby and act like she doesn't exist for the rest of her life. That was like the universe worth of weight lifted off her back.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Phewwww! It took longer than I expected to finish!

If you kept up with this story, this is the last part. There won't be more parts of these.

I might do little check-ins with them, if I get enough requests and responses. If not then I won't. I left it on an open ending.

......................................................................

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[stardust948]

do you have any zutara or atla fic recs?

Oh yes! I have plenty!

Fluffy fics

Questions & Answers by @gemgirl28

Kya and Lu Ten learn about the Hundred Years War, and Kya has a lot of questions for her Father about his role in the war. Or The Steambabies learn the origin of Zuko's scar.

A Month of Sundays by ok_boomerang

Fire Lord Zuko is desperately trying, and continuously failing, to successfully propose to Ambassador Katara. She's oblivious; everyone else is entertained. Meanwhile, Zuko is giving weekly Sunday speeches to the Fire Nation in an effort to help his people feel closer to their government. This effort was not supposed to include telling the entire Fire Nation about his plans for a future with Katara before even she knew about them. But it's fine! They promised not to tell!

Even Dragons Need Hugs by EKWolf2020

Zuko is missing his wife while off for business. While she is gone, he can't help but feel prickly and clearly misses having her near him.

Fire Dance by HomeAgainRose

Zuko goes with the gang following the events of Crossroads of Destiny. This is what happens when they're first in the Fire Nation and Aang ends up at the Fire Nation School. Katara wasn't exactly prepared for the feelings that come out.

little rays of starlight by JasmineTeaLatte

Izumi had been a mere babe during her first and only trip to the Southern Water Tribe, back before Druk had even joined their family or the twins were even born. She remembered freezing white snow flurries and huddling in her father’s arms for warmth, but little else...   Or, the Fire Lord and his wife take their infant daughter out on a trip to see the Southern Lights during the crown princess' first visit to the Southern Water Tribe. Takes place in the timeline of "The Phoenix and the Dragon" but can be read as a standalone.

vitamin z by thetasteoflies

Katara has a cold and there's only one person in the world she wants to see.

Angst/More Mature Fics

Incendiary by Anon

Bizarrely, the first thing Katara felt was a wave of relief. Zuko. Not Ozai. They just wanted her to marry Prince Zuko. And then the horror of it washed over her, cold and harsh and insistent; an iron grip on her heart.

Past the World's Horizon by Mauve_Avenger / @the-badger-mole

When Katara finds herself with an unwanted secret admirer, she and Zuko end up on a frightening adventure.

The Scourge of the Mo Ce Sea by ajstyling

She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and with one look at her face he understood the truth of her words. She would kill him and not lose a minute of sleep.

i'm still here by owedbetter

"You see me."

And somehow, that makes all the difference.

thicker than water by akaiiko

Zuko tries to pick up the pieces of Katara.

AUs/Slice of Life fics

The Worst Prisoner series by @emletish-fish

What if Sokka was there during the events of the Blue Spirit? What if he accidentally kidnapped Zuko? It's not a poor life choice of it's an accodent, right?

The Prince of the Fire Nation by HarrisonHolmes2014

Zuko was raised in the Fire Nation royal family alongside his sister Azula. He has never known any life outside the palace, his family, or his homeland. But when two slaves claim that he is their brother, Zuko must face a destiny he never asked for.

The Fire and the Flood by @badlucksav

Katara has lived in the same town with the same people her whole life, and since the death of her mother, she feels like her life has been on hold. But then she meets Zuko, an intriguing stranger, and everything changes.

what you want is what i want by zelzenik

Katara isn't alone. She has Bumi and Kya. The three of them are family.

Zuko isn't alone either. He has Izumi. The two of them are family.

But maybe... just maybe, they can all be family together.

It Runs In The Family by Anon

Katara and Zuko were a lot of things. War heroes. Master benders. Fire Lord and Fire Lady. Their favorite occupation? Parents. They'd managed to find each other again and had children, who are part of a brand new world and mixed nations family. While isn't exactly easy, as shown through a repeating series parent teacher conferences.

Or basically, steambaby shenanigans because they have Sokka as their uncle and how could they not be wreaking havoc?

Shameless Self Plugs

They have stolen the heart inside you; but this does not define you series

At a young age, Katara is taken to the Fire Nation as the first candidate in an experiment to assimilate the 'savages' instead of wiping them out. She grows up alongside the Royal Family before eventually escaping. Years later, an oddly familiar Fire Nation solider shows up at her village looking for the Avatar.

Kintsugi series

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with gold. It treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Zuko is tortured by Ozai after helping Katara and Aang escape Ba Sing Se.

Head Above Water

While running away from home after the Agni Kai, Zuko befriends a curious mermaid. He later learns how protective merfolk are.

Dead Hearts

Ozai is a mass serial killer who forces Zuko to lure his victims to him. It’s the same drill for as long as Zuko could remember until his father sets eyes on the new girl who just moved from the Southern Water Tribe.

Let beauty come out of ashes

Zuko is done with Spirit tales. Everyone knew worthless nobodies like him didn’t receive happy endings. He wasn’t even allowed to go to the ball to see his love, a veiled waterbender he met in the woods, in person. Zuko lost all hope until a mysterious dragon helped him with a bit of magic.

Always With Me

While moving away from the only home she’d ever known, Katara finds herself spirited away to a strange in between realm. There, she struggles to ink out a living with the help of a mysterious masked boy who promised to get her home.

Are There Still Beautiful Things?

Katara befriends a lonely boy and they spend the summer together until he suddenly moves away. She doesn't learn the dark truth about why he left until years later.

#long post #atla #zutara #zutara fics #fanfic recs

[thosehallowedhalls]

A Stagger in the Woods

Book: Blades of Light and Shadow

Pairing: Mal Volari x Daenarya (F!MC)

Rating: Teen

Word count: 572

Summary: Mal had a little too much to drink. It's up to Daenarya to help him make his way through the woods.

A/N: For @storyofmychoices. You didn't think we were done, did you? If you're going to devote your time to put this event together, you should get a second gift. It's only fair, my friend. @choicesfandomappreciation

Shoutout to @dutifullynuttywitch, who helped me pinpoint what was wrong with this story, and even gave me one of the lines outright. You're amazing.

The moon hangs low in the sky, its red-white glow granting the night an ethereal feel. In the woods beneath, two figures lean on each other, hands clutching and grasping, their faces close enough to kiss.

It would be more romantic if they were leaning on one another out of desire instead of necessity.

“An earthquake!” Mal exclaims, his head swinging wildly. “Quick, kit, take cover!”

Daenarya barely manages to catch him before he sends them both tumbling to the ground. She doesn’t even attempt to contain the bubble of laughter tickling her throat. “It’s not an earthquake, Mal. It’s the result of one too many glasses of ale.”

“Why Kit, I never!” Indignant, he jabs a finger and nearly takes her eye out. “I am insulted. Offended. No, appalled at your insinuation.” She captures his finger, giving it a playful nip and a quick kiss, all the while giggling at her foolish rogue.

“Not so much an insinuation as an expression of fact, Your Magnificence. I did tell you to pace yourself.”

“But it was a ce-celebration!” He hiccups. “We made it out of the Deadwood! We had to commemorate the occasion!”

She pats his shoulder a little too hard. “That doesn’t mean you and Imtura had to challenge each other to see who could, er, commemorate more.”

He laughs uproariously, then comes to an abrupt stop before turning in a circle. Daenarya stumbles. “Where is Imtura?”

“Probably giving Tyril as much trouble as you’re giving me.”

“But we never reached a consainsos… conshensus… con-sen-sus,” he corrects, slurring over each syllable. “Who won? Who lost? Call her back!”

He extricates himself from her grasp and stomps forward. “Imtura! Imty! Imtura!”

She rushes over and wraps an arm around his waist. “It was a tie.”

“Well, that won’t do. The loser was supposed to buy the winner the first drink once we took down the Shadow Court!”

“You can buy each other a drink,” she suggests.

“That’s no fun at all,” he protests before brightening right up again. “Oh! We could try again tomorrow.”

Daenarya lets her head fall against his shoulder. “Please, for the love of all the Old and New Gods, don’t.”

His expression falters, and his eyes take on the sheen of a wounded doe. “Am I… Am I annoying you, kit?”

“Half of me,” she admits cheerfully. “The other half is giggling madly.”

“Oh, that’s okay then.” Mal smiles his drunken grin again. “I love it when you giggle. And laugh. And snort.”

“You love it when I snort?”

“Because you’re happy, see.” He waves his hands in the air. “’Tis like this: you don’t laugh enough. And you think I can’t tell when you cry yourself to sleep.”

“Mal…”

“But now you’re gigglin’. Or half of you is.”

Moved, she presses a tender kiss to his cheek. “You make me smile as much as I possibly can under these circumstances. Once we find Kade? It’s going to be all smiles from there.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to be stung by a Drakna.”

He tries to kiss her and misses by about five inches. “Hey, where did your lips go?”

“They’re still in the same place.”

“But I couldn’t find them!”

“I’ll help you find them tomorrow. As long as you no longer reek of ale.”

He gives a put-upon sigh. “Guess I’ll have to skip challenging Imtura again, then. All for a good cause.”

"She captures his finger, giving it a playful nip and a quick kiss, all the while giggling at her foolish rogue" came straight from @dutifullynuttywitch's fabulously talented mind.

#mal x daenarya #mal x mc #blades of light and shadow #ChoicesAprilActsOfKindness #30 drabbles in 30 days

[jksprincess10]

Exile 1. So long and goodnight

Summary: After Steve Murphy's unforgivable death in the never-ending fight against Pablo Escobar, Javier Peña finds himself stuck with a new partner. A girl that they brought from Miami. Smart, devastating, strong. Nothing he would have thought her to be. Their rivalry builds up to something intense, destructive.

CW: canon violence, mentions of death, smoking and drinking, language, bullshitting my way through the Narcos plot, no y/n (3rd person), no physical and racial descriptions of the girl, eventual smut. 1500 words. Divider by @cafekitsune Masterlist for exile Notification blog

He can’t look at anyone in the church. But he feels the weight of their stares. The weight of the unsaid words, the weight of “it’s your fault”. He couldn’t protect the gringo. He was too fucking late. And now he was laying in his casket, stab wounds hidden under a painfully black suit. White face even whiter under the powder hiding death. Stillness incarnated.

When the priest starts talking, it’s getting too real, death’s hands reaching for his neck. He leaves to breathe. Sits on the concrete stairs and lights a cigarette. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels salty water sliding down his cheeks. He curses, uses his wrist to wipe them away.

He doesn’t know how long he’s there until he sees the people starting to come out of the church, a party of various shades of blacks. When Connie sees him, she heads straight to him. She’s in tears, understandably. And she grabs him by the collar, brings him up and looks at him with all the pain she has. He lets her. He understands. When she’s done, he hugs her, begs for her forgiveness. He knows she doesn’t forgive him.

But he tried.

So he leaves.

She’s sorting through files when the boss calls for her. Her heels clack against the impersonal tiled floor as she gets to the main office. She sits down, crosses her legs while she assesses the man’s expression. Is she in trouble? No, she doesn’t think so.

“Thank you for coming so fast. We think you should get more… hands on in the Pablo Escobar case.”

“Meaning?” She asks.

“You’ll be sent to our office Bogotá. There’s a free position for you there. You’ve been good at dealing with the narcotics crisis here in Miami. But we think that keeping you here is wasting your potential. You’re a smart girl.”

She feigns her surprise, like she hadn’t hoped for this position and worked towards it for years now. She gets up and shakes hands with her boss, her grasp surprisingly strong. She smiles like a hungry wolf.

“When do I leave?”

“Can you leave on Monday?”

That left her a week to get ready.

“Yeah. That’s enough for me to do my goodbyes and pack.”

She didn’t have much. She lived alone. Her family was scattered.

“Then, I suggest you go home early and start packing.”

“Thank you.”

With that, she leaves and goes home. She already had multiple luggage stored just in case. She knew her job was something fragile. She knew that she would have to leave one day or another.

She calls her mom first.

“Allô ma chérie? Tout va bien?”  (Hi honey, is everything okay?)

“Oui, oui… je voulais juste te prévenir que j’ai été transférée à Bogotà. J’ai eu une promotion. ” (Yeah… just wanted to tell you that I got transferred to Bogotà. I got a promotion.)

“Oh mon dieu ! C’est super. Je suis fière de toi. ” (Oh my god! That’s amazing. I’m proud of you.)

“Merci. Je suis désolée que ça m’éloigne encore plus de toi. ”  (Thanks. I’m sorry to go even farther from you.)

“Si c’est ce que tu veux, ma chérie, je suis contente pour toi. Tu vas prévenir ton père? ” (If that’s what you want, honey, I’m happy for you. Will you tell dad?)

“Oui. J’irai le voir demain. Je pars... Lundi prochain.” (Yeah, I’ll try to see him tomorrow. I’m leaving… next Monday.)

“D’accord. S’il te plait, fais attention à toi. ” (Okay. Please, take care of yourself).

“Promis.” (I promise).

She hangs up the phone and stars packing under her cat’s worried and piercing yellow eyes.

“I’ll bring you with me, don’t worry Riri.”

The black cat purrs and curls around her ankles.

“I know that Agent Murphy’s death is so recent, but we have to keep moving, Agent Peña.”

“Of course.” He offers coldly as he lights his cigarette.

It had been a rough couple of days. But when he got back to the office, he had to do as if nothing happened. The show must go on. Escobar didn’t wait. He kept getting richer and richer.

They couldn’t mourn. There was no time.

“We assigned you a new partner. She’ll be here on Monday; you must get her at the airport. The usual. Her name is –”

“Wait. She?” He frowns as he sets his cigarette down, some ash escaping the tip.

“Is that a problem, Agent Peña?”

“Are we sure… she’s fit for the job?”

“Believe me. She is. Or else she wouldn’t be transferred. She worked on the case from Miami.”

“Look… I don’t wanna question your decisions, but –”

“So, don’t. You’ll pick her up Monday afternoon and you’ll make sure she moves in next to you safely.”

“Yes, sir.”

Emptiness filled her space now. She packed her bedroom already, keeping only the necessities out until the last minute. Her dad had taken the news surprisingly well, he knew how important that job was too her. And maybe, just maybe, she would meet nice people there. She would be less lonely, he had said.

Her dad worried for her. Constantly suggesting she gets a partner, but she brushed him off. This job wasn’t fit for partnership.

She left on Monday in the early morning, her possessions fitting in two big luggage, a carry-on bag and a cage for Riri. The rest of her life, she left behind. The flight went smoothly, and she slept for most of it.

Her new work partner was supposed to wait for her at arrival. So, she looked around to find someone who would have her name written down on a cardboard sign. She finally finds him.

He’s not the tallest man. His body is lean. He has dark hair, gelled down. He has thick sideburns and an equally thick moustache. His lips are pouty, and she can’t see his smile even as she approaches. His nose his generous in size, so are his deep brown eyes. He’s dressed casually but professionally: a light-colored shirt that stretches over his shoulders, dark-washed jeans, and a brown belt.

“Agent Peña?” She offers her hand, but he looks at it and doesn’t take it.

Lovely, she thinks.

“First lesson. Don’t mention our job here.” He says as he gets closer to whisper. Her arm goes back to her side. His breath smells vaguely like mint with a hint of cigarette.

“You’re coming here to teach English. Got it? Do you have all your luggage?”

He looks down at the cage and rolls his eyes as he sees the black cat staring back at him defiantly.

“Yes.”

“Then, let’s go.”

She lets him do the talking, communicating in perfect Spanish. She acts like she doesn’t speak a word of the language to make her character more believable.

Even when they’re in his car – a black Jeep, he doesn’t pay much attention to her. She keeps the cage on her lap to reassure her cat, who seems to hate her new co-worker already, hissing at him.

“Can I have your first name?” She asks to try and strike up a conversation.

He barely looks at her through his yellow aviators. “Javier. But let’s keep it professional and stay on a last name basis.”

“Wow. I feel so welcomed.” She says sarcastically.

He parks the car abruptly – at her new home, she presumes, and turns to her, lips fused in one line that shows his annoyance.

“Look, I can send you back home if you don’t feel welcomed enough, princesa. But we don’t have time for this shit here. You won’t have a castle. You’ll stay in a shitty apartment next to mine. And you won’t get a carriage with beautiful horses. You’ll ride with me every day. So, try to make this fucking bearable, will you?”

“Trou de cul.” She mutters under her breath.

“What was that?” He asks with a cocked eyebrow.

“Never mind.”

“Let’s go.” He says as he slams the car door behind himself. He takes most of her new partner’s luggage, and she’s left with her carry-on and her angry cat in her hands.

Javier unlocks the door, and it’s almost like it protests with the noise it makes. But she doesn’t make any comment. The apartment is so unbelievably grey, but still warm, like someone just had left. But she didn’t ask questions. The man parks her luggage in the entryway, and she lets the cat out to explore. It spits at Javier before it runs away, tail up in the air.

“We leave at 7 AM tomorrow. If you’re late, I’m not waiting for you.”

“I won’t be.”

“Good. There’s a grocery store three streets from now. I hope you speak Spanish because they don’t speak English.”

“I do. Or else why would I take this job?”

“Right. Don’t play smart ass with me, chiquita.” He says as he clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“Thank you, Agent Peña. Now, if you’ll let me…”

“See you tomorrow.”

And just like that, he’s gone. She finally breathes. What a fucking asshole.

#exile #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena x dea agent #javier pena narcos #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena smut #javier pena x foc #javier pena x female oc #javier pena x female reader

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

In your corner - Chris Evans and Co

A/N: one of my coworkers was rude to me today and it got me wondering how each CE babe would respond to you complaining about it to them

Warnings: Language! Insinuation of Murder!

Jake Jensen

Jake would instantly console you and let you just rant about it

But when he could tell that ranting wasn’t working he changed tactics

He’d make his way into his games den and load up the copy of Sims 4 that he brought for you

He’d start making a sim of your coworker who upset you using a reference photo that the losers helped him get hold off

He’d then call you in and let you use all the different kinds of deaths in sims to work through your anger

“How you feeling now?” He’d ask slinging his arm around your shoulder

“Much less murderous, thank you babe” you grin leaning in to kiss him

Andy Barber

Andy had heard you complain about this coworker many many times and he decided enough was enough

He had a hunch that your coworker was as great as they made themselves out to be so using his DA skills he got digging

It didn’t take long for him to find out that your coworker had jumped from job to job, state to state, far more often than the normal person did.

A little more digging found that you’re coworker had left their jobs just before the business got into some difficulties

Connecting all the dots Andy discovered that they had been embezzling funds from every company they worked for

so it wasn’t long until the police showed up at your office and arrested your coworker, Andy sending you a sly wink as they did so

Colin Shea

Whenever your coworker was mean or rude to you it instantly made your confidence plummet.

Colin had spent many evening just holding you and trying to remind you how smart, beautiful and just goddamn amazing you were

But he could tell it never really sunk in so he got to work

At his next gig he made sure you had the best seat in the house and were always in his eyeline

So when they started playing their new song he could sing it directly to you

Tears collected in your eyes as he sang about how he fell in love with the a girl who doesn’t know how amazing she is and how he’d spend the rest of his days proving her wrong and showing the world how special she was

As the song ended he mouthed ‘I love you’ to you, and as soon as the set ended you ran up on stage and gave him the biggest kiss ever

Ari Levinson

Ari played the long game.

He knew that you coworker also shopped at the same grocery store so it was only a matter of time until they crossed paths

When they did Ari first played it nice, introducing himself with a handshake but the mind games were already afoot.

He used his large frame and 6ft 3 hight to tower over your coworker and gripped his hand extra tight

He kept the conversation flowing until he saw your coworker lower their guard and thats when he went in for the kill.

The smile he had on his face dropped and turned serious.

“I’ve heard you’ve been making this hard for Y/N” he started, when your coworker tried to defend himself Ari didn’t let a single word leave his lips.

He put him exactly in his place reminding him that you outranked him in every instance and if he was rude to you ever again the Ari was going to have words

“And it’ll be my fists doing the talking”

You coworker just meekly apologised and promise to be better and apologise to you.

Lloyd Hansen

It was plain and simple when it came to Lloyd.

You complained to him about your coworker

The next day your coworker completely disappeared, never to be seen again

🩵🩵🩵

That’s all I can think of for now but I’ll add more if I think of any and recommendations are welcome!

#niamhwrites #chris evans and co. #Andy barber #jake jensen #lloyd hansen #Ari levinson #colin shea

[lilpotatjj]

Can you do Bella Ramsey x French fem!reader pls :)?

Masterlist

A/N: Took me some research for the Language. I don't know much french soooo...pls don't throw the Baguettes on me.🙈 If there is something totally wrong pls text me.

Summery: Just a short funny and sweet story about Bella in Paris, a day after her Dior Fashion Show

Bella ramsey x frenchReader

Many people, paparazzis everywhere and the Eiffel Tower in the background.

Paris. The Dior Fashion Show is finally over and Bella totally exhausted.

Finally arrived at the hotel, she falls directly into bed and immediately falls asleep.

Paris is great. Many sights and all the culture promises a lot of fun.

The next day, freshly showered Bella wants to look around the city. After all, she's not in France every day. Dressed a bit more covered with cap, open hair and sunglasses, she sets off.

First, she goes to one of the popular bakeries for breakfast and then straight to the Eiffel Tower. When she arrives, she is completely amazed at how big the tower is in real life.

"Cooool" She takes a few photos and was just about to go on when you of all people suddenly collides with Bella

"Aïe! attention!" You look at Bella and pause for a moment.

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Her British accent gives you chills.

You know the voice.

As if you heard it only yesterday.

"Bella? Bella Ra-"she almost smacks her hand right over your mouth.

"Ssshh" She puts her index finger over her lips and finally takes her hand away. "Please don't say this so loud, otherwise paparazzis will come again" you nod, collect your thoughts and try to realize that in front of you is a British actress, who is also forbidden good looking and...whom you just ran into.

"Sorry. I was just taking pictures and didn't see you." You remain silent and still can't believe it.

"Aah...Parles-tu anglais?(english?)"..."Tu m'entends? (Can you hear me?)" She tries hard to speak french.

"Oh oui, I mean yes I can speak english"

"I thought you didn't understand me."

"It's ok. I just didn't expect to find you here. I'm surprised" you look at the Eiffel Tower. "Shall I show you around? Maybe I can help you if there are communication problems" you say helpfully.

Bella takes a breath while she thinks. "Why not, ok?" Suddenly two women come towards you.

"Ce n'est pas (isn't that) Bella Ramsey?" one of the girls says.

"Tu te trompes (you're mistaken)" You grab her arm and the two of you move on quickly.

You go to the Palace of Versailles and look around inside. Huge halls and beautiful paintings from the baroque period adorn the rooms.

Old, large furniture stands around as if you were in the past. Bella is obviously getting nervous. "Hey is everything ok?"

"There are some from yesterday's show...if they see me then everyone will know I'm here" she sounds almost panicked.

This is not how Bella had imagined the day. She wanted to spend a chill day in Paris.

Your eyes fall on one of the huge cupboards and without hesitation you grab her arm again.

"What the-" with a jerk you are both in the cupboard, almost body to body, you both look at the door and hope that no one will open it again.

"Pardon......"

"For wha-" she begins but falters as she looks you straight in the eye.

"M...merci?" Her cheeks turn red, but it's almost completely dark in the cupboard, the reason you can't see it.

You both hear your breathing, quickly, as if it's not oppressive enough, your heart puts in a speed run.

"mignon" just a whisper from your mouth.

"what?" Bella looks at you questioningly. "I said you're cute"

Bella can't find an answer and just stares at you.

"Sorry..." you look at the door and hear no more voices outside. As you try to open the door, you only feel a hand on yours.

"Wait...please" she speaks softly and your eyes fall on her. "What is it, we can get out. Nobo-" a kiss interrupts your sentence. Completely surprised, you close your eyes anyway and respond to her kiss.

"Pardon" now it is Bella who speaks while you look at her silently.

"Why did you do that?" You look at her guiltily.

"I just...you're cute too."

"Oh....well, we should probably go and see the rest before we fall asleep in here" you smirk sweetly at her which she returns and you both sneak out.

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey x fem!reader #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey x y/n #bella ramsey x you #bella ramsey fanfic #bella ramsey fluff #bellaramsey #romance fanfiction #fanfic #bella ramsey drabble #bella ramsey fic #bella ramsey blurb #lgbtq

[chrisevansonly]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: marriage and raising a family is never easy, there are bumps and waves along the way, but even the sun has to come out after a little rain…

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: slight angst, mentions of anxiety and mental health, crying, fluff

𝐀/𝐍: alright everyone we are GETTING BACK TO THE FLUFFY GOODNESS AGAIN, and welcome to chapter six, i’ll be honest idk how many chapters this will have yet, so bear with me, this also seems very shitty writing to me so i apologize if it is💀

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Why did you feel so nervous, it wasn’t as if a stranger was coming to your home, no it was Charles, your Charles. The father of your beautiful little boy, and your husband, whom despite everything you loved with your entire being, of course your heart still hurt from the argument a few days ago but you had to recognize that you were in the wrong just as much as he had been 

The kitchen smelt like notes of caramel and hazelnut as you brewed a fresh poot of coffee, Matteo’s favourite cinnamon scones on the island awaiting his father who was arriving any second now

“Maman, où est papa?” the toddler asked softly, not wanting to interrupt your meticulous place setting at the breakfast nook 

“Il devrait être là dans la seconde, mon amour”

Matteo smiled, sticking to your side wanting to help you as much as he could, it had been a rough couple of days for the little boy, not understanding that his parents were fighting and it wasn’t his fault. Something that you and Charles needed to discuss because the older he got, the more anxious he became.

-

“Est-ce que papa est déjà là?”

You frowned, brushing some of the unruly hair out of the toddlers face 

“Pas ce soir mon amour..”

“Why!”

It wasn’t a surprise to hear Matteo get so upset it had been about two days since he’d seen him, far too long in his mind 

“Because Maman and Papa are just having some time apart..”

Matteo looked up at you, his eyes sad as the began to gloss over, sending your heart into a bit of a panic as you watched the gears turn in his brain trying to figure out what that meant 

“Est-ce à cause de moi?”

He sniffled, wiping his nose with his sleeve as you quickly scooped up the young boy into your arms 

“Petit amour, ce n’est pas ta faute et tu n’as rien fait de mal”

You paused for a moment 

“I promise you Matteo it is not your fault, sometimes parents just need a cool off so we can have some space and then come back stronger than before, I promise you baby papa and maman love each other so so much, and we love you so much more.”

Matteo stayed quiet but snuggled further into your chest, and you knew in this moment you and Charles needed to figure things out and do it fast.

-

Charles arrived at the house rather quickly, eager to see his little boy and even more excited to see you, he missed being home with the two of you, and was hoping today he could finally come home and work to put this behind him, he would do everything in his power to do that.

“Papa!!”

You looked up in time to see Matteo run off to the front door, straight into Charles’s arms, happy giggles spilling from his lips 

“Tu m’as tellement manqué petit prince, papa t’aime tellement.”

“Papa je t’aime tellement, tu m’as manqué encore plus!”

Charles smiled pressing kisses to the little boy’s face as they spent a few minutes reconnecting, it made you feel guilty, thinking back on it maybe you should have fixed this problem right when it happened. Not wanting to interrupt them you waited until Matteo took off with his father’s phone to play games, leaving the two of you in the kitchen together, a soft smile on Charles’s face, yet there was evident worry in his eyes. 

“Mon amour…”

Deciding against the slight hurt that remained in your chest you walked over and wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes as your head rested against his chest 

“I’m sorry..”

“No please, don’t apologize, I shouldn’t have pushed you..”

Shaking your head you looked up at him

“I threw my anxiety in your face and-and I know how important racing is to you and you want to show Matteo everything but-”

“But nothing amour please, I understand why you are scared, Matteo is your baby as is he mine and it was wrong of me to push and push when you weren’t ready and I saw that from the very first time I brought it up…”

He paused just enough to catch a tear that slipped down your cheek before he continued, his thumb remaining on your cheekbone gently 

“I should have never raised my voice at you like I did, I made a promise to you and I broke it, something I swear to you I will never do to you again, all I can say now is I am so sorry amour…tu es mon soleil, mes étoiles, ma lune et le plus beau cadeau que j'ai jamais reçu. Je ne veux jamais te perdre.”

Charles didn’t have to say anything else in the moment, because you were quick to press your lips to his, his hands holding onto your face gently, cradling it as if you were made of porcelain. A kiss that brought you back to your wedding night, one that was filled with so much love you thought you might pass out, but god would it have been worth it. 

“I love you, so much Char…come home please and-and we’ll figure out the rest another day.. I should have never made you stay away from us like that, I’ll kick myself for it…”

“No enough, I’m not mad at all baby I don’t blame you..come lets go have a movie day with Teo”

Nodding your head you let him lead you to the living room where Charles was quick to order your favourite lunch, while recruiting Matteo to make the couch into the comfiest movie watching space you’d ever had. A smile coming to your face at the excitement in his eyes, and excitement you’d missed seeing from him the past few days. 

There really was nothing better in the world than having your little family back together, even if there was still much to be discussed and talked about but for right now, this was just perfect. Matteo settled in between the two of you, a happy smile on his face.

“I love you Maman, I love you Papa” 

Charles looked over at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead, letting you settle onto his shoulder comfortably, everything was absolutely perfect, there was nothing that could come between the three of you again.

He would make sure of it, no matter what he had to do.

ʚlittle karter taglist

@goldenalbon @goldenmclaren @a1leexxa @treehouse-mouse @therealcap @wintfleur

english translations:

Maman, où est papa? - Mom where is daddy?

Il devrait être là dans la seconde, mon amour - He should be here any second my love

Est-ce que papa est déjà là? - is Daddy here?

Pas ce soir mon amour - Not tonight my love

Est-ce à cause de moi? - Is it because of me?

Petit amour, ce n’est pas ta faute et tu n’as rien fait de mal - Little love, it’s not your fault and you have done nothing wrong

Tu m’as tellement manqué petit prince, papa t’aime tellement. - i missed you so much little prince, daddy loves you so much

Papa je t’aime tellement, tu m’as manqué encore plus! - Daddy i love you so much i missed you even more!

Tu es mon soleil, mes étoiles, ma lune et le plus beau cadeau que j'ai jamais reçu. Je ne veux jamais te perdre - you are my sun, my stars, my moon and the greatest gift i’ve ever gotten, i never want to lose you

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #rueschats💗 #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc series #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #dad!charles leclerc #dad charles leclerc #little karter🏎️ #little karter series🏎️ #charles leclerc au #charles leclerc fanfic #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 blurb #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 series #f1 drabble #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

[salty-croissants]

Hi again, It's me Spark

I got Another requests for you. I think it would be cool if we get a headcanon about training with bullfrog. It would be pretty cool :D

(Thanks again, And Take care of yourself sometime :))

Thank you for the request !

I really , really like this concept , I had so much fun writing for it :D 

Hope it turned out okay !  Imma fall asleep now :,]

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationship ; 

no warnings needed 

Okay , we should probably start by saying that Bullfrog is excellent at motivating you when you’re exercising together , which shouldn’t be a surprise considering how much of an encouraging sweetheart he normally is … 

< That’s it my dear , you’re doing great ! > 

< Just one more , you can do it … ! > 

Though he definitely makes sure to respect your limits , cause if there’s one thing that this frog doesn’t want is for you to hurt yourself while trying to please him . 

Bullfrog definitely gets quite serious when teaching you something combat-related … however , the two of you inevitably end up getting playful with it while training .

< Ohh … playing dirty , are we mon amour ? 

Then I suppose you won’t mind it if I … > 

< Ahh - nooo , that tickles ! ~ > 

< Heh , feel like giving up yet ? >

< Neverr !! > 

Your smile and the sound of your laughter manage to successfully distract him , at least for a few minutes … 

Can you blame him ? How is he supposed to resist you when you’re being so cute all the time ? 

Bullfrog is able of immediately knowing when you’re starting to feel a bit too tired , and he will instantly stop what you’re doing and quickly walk away to get you something fresh to drink .  < Here , now let’s just sit for a bit . Take a deep breath … >

< I’m sorry Bullfrog … I didn’t mean to interrupt our session … >

< Non , please don’t apologize about that y/n : you’ve already done so much today , and I don’t want you to be too tired later …

I did promise you some cuddles after all , n'est-ce pas vrai ? ~ >

Your health is of first priority for your boyfriend , and he always makes sure that you don’t overdo it … it’s the most important thing for him .

Since he loves to cherish your every victory , no matter how small , you can imagine how proud of you Bullfrog is whenever you manage to best him in a fight when you train …

He adores to see you succeed , he knows you deserve it and it makes him very happy to see your hard work pay off . 

< Très bon travail , mon chou … You did well ! > 

< *pant* … you really think so , love … ? > 

< Absolutely ! You should be proud of yourself y/n , you’ve come so far from the first time we tried this … 

Now come , you deserve a nice break . > 

< Yeah , a break does sound nice … > 

#captain laserhawk #x reader #bullfrog x reader #bullfrog captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk bullfrog #captain lazerhawk bullfrog #gender neutral reader

[myriadparacosm]

Black Beats Black - 3. Butterfly Weed

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Read on AO3

“Tu es complétement cinglé,” Sirius blurts out as his mind reels through what he just heard from his brother’s mouth, who isn’t impressed by his disbelieved tone. “We need to get magically bonded?” He repeats with a mocking voice that only deepens Regulus’ scoff.

“Do you often think in French? I lost the habit once we got to Hogwarts,” he mentions without caring much about Sirius’ point. “It sounds weird.”

“Pardon ? Mon accent est parfait. Crétin .”

Regulus rolls his eyes and flatly glares at him. “Est-ce que tu vas m’écouter ou m’insulter dans une autre langue que je comprends parfaitement ?”

“No I’m not going to listen to you,” Sirius replies, storming across the room and coming back with the idea to grab him but the word ‘nuptial bond’ hits him again. “ Married ?!”

“There is a perfectly understandable reason for it. And I didn’t say married,” he snaps. “I’m not doing this by pleasure either but it will give us time.”

“Time?! Time for what? To prolong our fucked up family tradition of inbreeding?”

“Incest will never be my thing and neither will this be,” Regulus dryly says with a shrill sigh through his nose. “If you actually remembered the point of Pureblood bonds then you would understand what I’m going at.”

Sirius glares at him and considers swatting him before storming away closer to the fireplace. The room, which perfectly sheltered him over the last days without any worries about intrusion, has allowed Regulus in without Sirius having any say which would not bother him any other time than now. He is happy to see his brother but now he considers holding back Regulus’ visiting rights if it’s to parade in with the decision to get bonded. He rubs his eyes after looking away from the fire.

“Tu es fou.”

“Pour l’amour de Merlin,” Regulus snaps and leaves the bed to walk closer. “Sirius, will you please stop and listen to me? It’s only for the Hanahaki and trust me I wish I didn’t have to take a part of it.”

He snorts with a glance at him. “How so?”

“Think.”

Sirius scowls at him but he doesn’t spare any more attention as he goes to sit in the plush seat, lacking the mirror that was in front of it as it disappeared days ago. He has no complaints about it since he hasn’t been able to stomach his own reflection for a time now.

A sigh scratches its way out before he can think and furious coughs follow the rustling of the petals in his body. It’s painful, clearly noticeable by the way Regulus’ eyes are fixed into him, but he manages. It’s liberating to be able to wheeze without worrying about anyone catching up. In class, especially in Transfiguration where Sirius had the brilliant idea to sit next to Remus as it’s the only class where they aren’t allowed to swap seats for the whole year except if McGonagall deems so. She will never change his seat especially now that Sirius doesn’t chat and dolefully focuses on the lessons now.

He throws handfuls of petals in the fire and wipes his mouth with his thumb. Regulus is either throwing him a distraction to focus on rather than his own thoughts or wants to rile him up on the crazy idea of marriage with his own brother. They have both followed strict education on Pureblood’s culture, heritage and traditions by their parents but Sirius has never cared much for it. Most were long, hypocritical and meaningless, which has never worked well with him. Though he is a romantic and the promise of a true ever-lasting love has always appealed to him - but everything is twisted whenever it’s Pureblood’s affairs.

“The nuptial bond is supposed to enhance feelings, tying the knot over love to never let it die,” he recalls and glances at Regulus to judge his reaction, “but the way to do so is by sealing their fate together meaning that neither spouse can try to escape by any means.”

“Anything that happens to one will happen to the other.”

Sirius widens his eyes as he recalls the warning of ignoring such a bond or finding another love. There is no escape when you are linked to your own jail without bringing your own death.

“A curse would be reciprocated,” Sirius realises as his eyes widen on the composed face of his brother. “Merlin’s balls. You really are insane.”

Regulus shrugs and focuses back on playing with the make-up pencil he found on his seat. “Tradition familial.”

He snorts before properly laughing at the hint of amusement on his brother’s lips at the mention of a family tradition. The only one they are actively keeping up alive, though only recently because apparently the habit is still lurking and just needs the right person around, is speaking French here and there; it’s their family first language despite living in Britain for centuries.

Their parents loved to loudly complain, never anything positive at least, in french in any sort of public setting; if someone understood and talked back then they would swap the situation around by saying it’s a private conversation, though it has rarely happened. Sirius and Regulus only used to speak in French to reply whenever spoken to or between themselves like a secret code. Their parents would obviously understand but Sirius liked the idea of being secretive with Regulus, as much as they could in this pressuring house. It was only the case whenever Kreacher was around to keep an eye on the young heirs but the house-elf probably understood what they said. Regulus could have easily taught him a bit of French if he didn’t already know. These two always played favourites with each other which Sirius always resented.

“Alright so you want to bring back incest up to our days,” he snarks and turns to face him properly with crossed arms. “How is being bonded any help for me? You will only get the Hanahaki.”

“Not exactly,” he argues. “It will try to develop, yes but it won’t manage to.”

“Why not? These nuptial bonds are intense. There is no time difference or strength to be sure that both spouses are affected in the same way.”

“Because the Hanahaki relies on the host’s feelings to grow and develop,” Regulus points out with a nefarious raised eyebrow. “I do not have any feelings for Lupin which will make the Hanahaki helpless to grow in me but the bond will force it to focus on me even with that difficulty. Hopefully it will leave you alone for a while.”

He really thought this through, which surprises Sirius as many implications come to his mind that he can’t deal with at the moment.

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“I am,” Regulus counters with no shame as he leaves his seat. “I will still be affected but it will take time if it ever manages to work on me which gets us more time. As the bond intends to, any curse will develop at the same speed to be sure that both spouses are affected at the same time.”

“I hear you but you are still mad Reggie.”

“Sirius,” he harshly cuts and takes a deep breath. “You don’t have much time. I have been looking through a lot but your curse is definitely evolving too fast for only three weeks and I doubt that I have seen the worst of it when I found you in the toilet.”

There has been worse it’s true but Sirius won’t share about it. If he is honest, Regulus caught him in a very bad time where his thoughts couldn’t stop spiralling. The flowers are delighted whenever he gets too lost in his mind because it always gravitates around Remus. He coughs and turns back near the fire to discard the single flower escaping him with a spit of blood. They have been more frequent, ready to be gifted if you ignore the blood here and there.

The most difficult part is whenever he is in class because he will feel that Remus is just right here. Every single flower tries to reach out, all the time, as if they could figure out a way to embrace him and they might have if he listens to the feeling in his guts which scares him. Sirius doesn’t know if they are only trying to carve a way out or plan to drag Remus in there to snuggle him up forever and ever. He wouldn’t mind but the pain makes it difficult to appear normal and focus on hiding all of this.

He looks sick, dreadfully so, despite the potions he has started to prepare for himself to cover it up. One is perfect to hold back the flowers despite the uncomfortable feeling of his guts being locked up. As long as he can speak it’s alright for class but the sensation are awful and the flowers always try to riot through it. Being kicked out of the Quidditch team turns out to be a blessing because he wouldn’t be able to fly and play with this seal over his lungs - he can perfectly breathe in, though the flowers clog it up and he is starting to feel it. What he is doing is ultimately dangerous; Sirius feels like he is dying every time he leaves classes and runs to this room to cough everything out and he has already lost consciousness more times than he can count for it. Except that it’s better than people figuring out what is happening to him.

“I’m not doing it.”

“Why?”

Sirius sighs, throwing him a pissed look. “Because if you listened to yourself you would realize that it’s mad. You will get the Hanahaki too and if I die from it then you will die too .”

Regulus is getting frustrated by how his eyebrows plummet like thunder. “Which won’t happen. This is to get more time for us to find a solution but you’re already advanced and I’m worried— I fear that time is running out and that I might find the cure when it’s too late. Once I have it, we break the bond without a problem.”

“There is no cure for it-”

“That’s what you think.”

Sirius groans out and strides toward his bed to sit down. “I’m not marrying you.”

“You’re just being difficult,” he scowls and storms to face him. “I never said anything about marrying-”

“Because nuptial bond are not for-”

“La ferme !” Regulus shouts with a strident, exasperated, hiss. “Sirius, this is the only way I could find to get you more time. There is no other option and I’m certain you can understand why too. I wouldn’t do it if I could help it but I doubt you could find someone else willing to do this bond with you right now.”

Prongs would. It comes before his mind can stop it - James’ reaction if he knew and how he might come up with something as crazy as a nuptial bond even if it means getting himself sick to help Sirius.

“Still-”

“Potter? He probably would,” Regulus agrees as if his thoughts were shared. “But I doubt you want him to know about the Hanahaki and the cause of it.”

Sirius glares at him. “He would but I still wouldn’t ask.”

His brother coolly eyes him but the edge flickers to worries and almost softness. “You truly aren’t speaking to him anymore?”

“Why do we care?”

“Not even about your plan to run away?”

He can feel himself throwing all manners and any sort of sympathy he might have had before for his brother.

“Regulus.”

The warning is loud and clear. His brother doesn’t back down despite understanding him perfectly by the slight shift in his posture. Sirius is bitten by guilt right away. His own body is ready to adopt the tense stance that was hammered into them in their youth; proper and tall, everything that screams strength and a strong-will, nothing about softness or understanding.

“I’m only concerned,” he admits and many things go through his mind by how his eyes fly with a surprising sharpness. “I just… I’m here, Sirius… Je suis là pour toi.”

Sirius takes a deep but fragile breath with a shake of his head. “Reggie-”

“I have realised that we were never really brothers, were we?” He recalls without much emotion albeit the frown. “We have the same parents, live in the same house, same lessons, same rules and competitive ambitions. The only moment when we actually came together as somewhat brothers was because we had nothing else but each other. No friends and not any distraction without the risk of our parents sending us back to our rooms, away from their sight to not be bothered.”

“Oh this better not be in your vows at our wedding,” Sirius venomously spits, “just say we are cousins and we probably have the same twisted love of dear precious Walburga and Orion.”

Regulus scoffs. “What I mean is that now I’m choosing to be here and I want— I want to be your brother, Sirius,” he gasps out. “I want us to be real brothers before it’s too late.”

It’s difficult to meet his eyes which leave them both with a stifling silence. Regulus doesn’t waver, which Sirius can’t quite proceed how he manages to do so. He feels utterly broken and all of this leaves him feverish when he hasn’t even spoken.

In a way, it’s true. They are related but to be real brothers, siblings, loving ones, is something entirely different. Sirius would wander to Regulus only when he felt too alone or the current ordeal at home left him alienated and pushed him to hold on to something familiar. They never exactly played together. Regulus liked to read a lot and sometimes Sirius had nothing else to do than the same but preferred to look above his shoulder— now he realises it was to share something even if neither talked or commented on the book.

Sirius clears his throat and shifts on the bed to make a clear space for Regulus to sit down. “Did you realise it before or only now?”

“I wish I did before,” he quietly confesses and joins him without much space between their thighs. “Have you?”

He shrugs and tilts his head as his lips painfully purse. “If I’m honest, not quite. I just never— to me you never needed me and I thought we simply don’t get along. Just like the rest of our family.”

“You’re not wrong. We’re very different.”

Sirius nods, hands gripping and relaxing on the blanket as a thought keeps nudging him. “Pr—James was never your replacement.” Regulus rolls his eyes but he doesn’t take it as an interruption. “You will always be my brother Reggie. I never compared you two.”

“It’s fine,” he says despite not sounding like it.

“No,” he cuts, biting on his bottom lip before relaxing. “You are my brother. James is too but it’s different, it’s— like a soulmate.”

“Soulmate?” Regulus’ nose wrinkles with a glance. “What about..?”

“Not romantically, ew. It’s incest,” he quickly blabbers out to distract the flowers who tingles with the thought of Remus Soulmate . “When we met, I don’t know why but I didn’t need to think? I don’t know if I can make sense of it. But it’s not romantic which also confused me a bit because it’s always supposed to be romantic, isn’t it? We kissed once for a game at the dorm and I couldn’t have been more dead inside-”

“You kissed him?! When you just said how it would be incest ?” Regulus cuts with his voice almost shrilling in incredulity.

Sirius blinks at how traumatising and tragic it seems to be for his brother.

“What? You never kissed a friend for a game? No tongue of course, that would have been disgusting.”

Regulus stares at him with his nose wrinkled as the rest of his face slips into an upset resignation.

“Explain the rest to me. Nothing else disgusting like that.”

Sirius checks if he is making fun of him but his brother looks back at him with a soft intensity, as if eager to hear more. He shifts and rolls his shoulders when there is a twinge there.

“It’s not like we are separated pieces of a puzzle. We’re not the same person either but there is no need to think,” Sirius trails off. “I was scared at first because it was so strange compared to— the other Purebloods around our age we met or you. It was so easy to talk to him and I never had to worry about being just me around him. Sometimes I would get stuck in my head and he would bring me back which he probably noticed. I could blabber and James would understand without making me feel bad about it.”

Regulus takes his time to think his words over, scrutinising him but without any sign whether it’s good or bad. He will probably cut his hair during the break as he likes to keep them not too long; most of the time his ears are free of hair because he is quite ticklish there despite never admitting it. Sirius used to wake him up by tickling them with a feather and Regulus would roll and cry of laughter while begging him to stop.

His hair is perfectly divided but the curls soften the edge, breaking the thorns of their upbringing, and crowning Regulus like a delicate child. Sirius knows enough to not assume that it’s the truth; the familiar spot above his left hip aches just at the thought of how many times his brother pinched, scratched, punched and rudely poked at it during their childhood. Regulus has the same because they are both stubborn and vengeful to target each other at the exact same spot every time. What leaves him more surprised is finding new beauty marks on his brother just on his throat and the neck. Regulus has always got more of them than Sirius.

“I understand.”

Sirius blinks at him. “Really?”

Regulus nods but he doesn’t meet his eyes right away. “Then what about— well.” He stops himself. “It’s better to not think about him.

The flowers dance, scratch, twirl and leech at the mere mention. Tell everything. It should worry Sirius that they can speak now but he pities them - they are as starved of Remus as he is. He coughs and lets them fly out with no concern. Regulus shifts but takes several seconds to vanish.

“Anyhow, now it doesn’t matter how well James and I got along,” Sirius roughly articulates.

Regulus twirls his wand in his palms. “I don’t know why you are surprised when Potter has been shouting everywhere that Lily is his eternal soulmate. All the signs were here that he is cheating on you...”

The somewhat joke doesn’t land right away, which causes Regulus to grow embarrassed and glances away from him before Sirius uncouthly snorts and a wheezy laugh escapes him.

“Yeah, I should have picked one that doesn’t run after the first girl he sees,” he quips and nudges him to reassure him.

Regulus’ lips twitch but doesn’t smile, meeting his eyes for a second before looking at his wand.

“What I meant to say is that, I’m here for you, Sirius,” he declares. “Now and ever, I want to be brothers. We haven’t even finished school and you— you might die .” His tone shakes and Sirius hesitates to reach out, an easy task as they are sitting beside each other but far more difficult than he expected. “Which I won’t let happen but for that I need time. I never thought that you might die.”

His brother’s eyes are heavy with tears. One blink makes a drop cascade and he breathes in loud and pained. Sirius cautiously slips an arm over Regulus’ shoulders and slowly brings them together. There is no fight.

“I don’t want you to get the Hanahaki,” he whispers, letting his face softly fall against their similar but shortened hair. “It feels awful. I-I’m broken and I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“I need you alive.”

“Reg-”

“Please, let me try,” he pleads and fists his shirt with a shaky hand. “It could be late but— I want to try. I will save you and maybe we can be brothers.”

Sirius is deafened by the sobs, increasing in sound and feelings, before he realised he has joined the cry. Regulus is hiding against his shoulder but it isn’t enough to muffle any of it.

It comes so naturally to him that he doesn’t realise it until they are both tired, laying in each other’s arms as Sirius pets Regulus’ hair with puffy eyes and a raw throat. Their faces are shining with tears, starting to dry, but neither move and mention none of it.

Hurting Regulus is still out of the question but Sirius replays everything they have said up until he was found in the toilet. It would be a lie to say that he would have assumed Regulus would have not care one bit about his whereabouts; his brother is more tender and understanding than anyone might assume. Regulus would have cared that Sirius dies but to go as far as trying to save him? He would have never hoped so but now he feels thankful.

Sirius has not much to live for if he is honest and he has realised it now. The least he can do is be there for Regulus. He can be a brother, a real one, for his last days. Regulus made research, tons of it apparently. He also goes out of his way to reach out to Sirius as if they have never ignored each other. It makes him uncomfortable and void of pride that he finds himself earning for it with a childish awe. Like a treat that never crossed your mind and yet feels so important to hang on.

They are tucked together with no difficulties, no questions and no mistrust. He wishes he could hug him tighter, play with his hair and rest his head against his - but it would be weird. Sirius and Regulus barely touched each other if they weren’t annoying or fighting each other. The only times they have been somewhat touchy in a soft way were when either of them rode up and down the many curses their parents chose for their punishment— and often they couldn’t feel the touch until hours passed.

Sirius swallows and his fingertips brush over one of Regulus’ strands of hair. “Who would cast it?”

Regulus clears his throat twice; the second time out of embarrassment as he realises how much of him is laying on Sirius’ chest.

“What?”

“The bond.”

He sits up and quickly rubs his eyes before looking at Sirius. “Evan. The two people bonded can’t cast the spell themselves.”

A scoff escapes him and his brother squints at his grimace. “Rosier?”

“Yes. Or do you want to ask someone else? A professor? A ghost?”

Sirius lightly kicks him and rolls on his stomach with a tired groan. “He is a prick.”

“He is my friend and I trust him.”

“I don’t.”

“You have never met him,” he points out and scowls when Sirius is about to reply. “The Purebloods’ meetings when we were kids don’t count. We were all five years old at best.”

He rolls his eyes. “What tells me that he will not make it worse for me?”

“Evan wouldn’t hurt me. Nor you by extension. He already agreed-”

Sirius stands up with wide eyes. “You told him?!”

“I didn’t say what it is for,” he explains and brushes his hair with a hand to clear his eyes from the few stubborn curls. “He knows that you’re cursed but nothing else.”

Sirius doesn’t care much if someone knows as long as it doesn’t reach the ears of some Gryffindors. The Slytherins might make fun of him but he can deal with it; plus he doubts that Regulus would let it happen.

He rubs his forehead with his hands. “I will think about it.”

Regulus looks at him. “Really?”

A sigh escapes him but he offers a small nod. “I get your point with the bond but it’s still risky.”

“Evan can cancel it at any time.”

“You don’t know how it will react,” Sirius argues and looks at him with a conflict in his eyes. “Have you read of what happens to the Hanahaki with a nuptial bond? Maybe you will be as affected as I am and it won’t slow it down.”

“We need to try,” Regulus insists with a scowl.

“Let me think about it.”

His brother stares at him, exhales quietly as his hands curl up. “Let’s make a deal.”

“What?”

“If we do the bond, as in you at least try it with me without cheating or anything else,” Regulus articulates. “We leave Grimmauld Place together this break.”

Sirius gapes at him but can’t find any sign that his brother is anything but fervent and honest.

“Leave?”

“You heard me, let’s run away together. I have an idea of where we can go and Kreacher can prepare our affairs to hand it to us once we get out of the Hogwarts Express.”

“Kreacher?! What are you even talking about?” Sirius almost shouts as he tries to digest everything. “What brought this on?”

Regulus coolly looks at him. “I’m not as— weak or ignorant as you might think. For some reasons that I still can’t understand, you never seemed to really grow in our home with our parents… I did. And it’s not an excuse. I had no other thoughts or speeches in my head that weren’t about blood-purity, Muggle hatred and for dark arts to be as easy as breathing. To me, there wasn’t anything outside of our home which you have always seemed to know about and I struggled to understand it.”

Most families of Pureblood always said that Sirius is an unruly, feral, ill-mannered child. A little rebel which he has always taken as a compliment but truly he only felt sane and insane at the same time. For the most important gatherings and once their parents lose hope over Sirius behaving himself, they used the Imperius on him so many times that he might as well develop an allergy— what is more important is what people see.

“You clearly didn’t approve of my idea of running away and you have no problem listening and obeying our parents,” he argues, standing up from the bed as he really doesn’t feel like letting Regulus go when he cracked this buried, drowned, chest open. “Did you really think parents who cursed us regularly are simply normal?”

“I figured you need a little bit of pain to be happy about the rest-”

“A little bit?!”

Regulus harshly exhales through his nose and crosses his arms to face him. “I recognize now that our parents are not— nice . You didn’t need to get out of the house to realise it but I did. As a child I thought that you only fought with our parents all the time to have all their attention.”

“What about those wankers of Death Eaters?”

He glares at him. “I do not want to join them. I might not talk back to our parents but that’s because I know it won’t change anything, better stay out of their radar even if I have to listen to their words. I did think they would make the world better, as if our lives aren't all set up already. I realise how wrong all of this is now and especially how hypocritical our so-called Dark Lord is.”

Sirius squints but an uneasiness warily crawls over him. He doesn’t want to push his brother in the spot, especially when they have managed to be somewhat friendly. Plus, he actually has not any real proof that Regulus is following these ideas. At home he is quiet and stays mostly out of everyone’s way but he can play the perfect little Pure-blood whenever it’s necessary. He never openly spit or sneered at anyone who isn’t a Pureblood like Snivellus.

“Really?”

“You do realise that I could literally be the king of every Slytherins if I ever just spoke up? Some are actually waiting on me as if I’m just lazy.”

“You are smarter than that.”

Regulus’ lips twitch into an almost smirk. “I am,” he confirms before wetting his lips with a trace of brooding. “It’s only my second year here that I realised how all of this Pureblood logic and veneration don’t make sense. Mostly because I met Pandora, who is officially a nobody if you follow our rules, but also Dorcas. I hadn’t realised before that no one from Slytherin ever hung out with her because she is a half-blood. It probably took me too much time to realise any of it.”

It’s true that Sirius doesn’t recall Dorcas spending time with any other Slytherins outside from his brother and his little friends. When she got into their Quidditch team, it created a slight scandal up even when they almost won all games ever since she started in third year. She also flew right into Sirius to make him fall off his broom and broke his leg. Pandora being a nobody by ‘their’ rules doesn’t truly remind him of anything specific; she doesn’t even have a family name because she is apparently an orphan.

“That’s all very good,” he replies, feeling immediately silly. “I mean— I know you’re a better person than anyone in our family. I was… I was scared that I love and care about you but that you were as inhuman as they are.”

Regulus’ eyes have softened over his words but they quickly dive to the floor, head shifting for his parted bangs to drift in front of them. His hands awkwardly shuffle upward until they can catch on his sleeves. Sirius recognizes all the signs and only takes a few steps closer, enough to be able to reach for him even if he doesn’t know if it will be welcomed.

“I also..,” he clears his throat. “I only like men. Which I’m sure you know isn’t who Purebloods must shag with to have an heir, despite the many means to have a child even for a couple sharing the same bits.”

Sirius doesn’t quite know how to properly react. His face must be telling something though because Regulus barely meets his eyes and scowls, crossing his arms with the regular twitch of his fingers around his sleeves.

“Putain, tu es gay ?”

“I would rather use queer because I— I’m not going to tell you actually,” he sneers with his pale skin completely turning red.

“Are you kidding?! You need to tell me everything!” Sirius exclaims. “How did you know? Why did you never tell me? Did you think I would be an asshole? That I would have a problem?”

Regulus rolls his eyes with a mocking smirk begging to appear. “Please, have you looked at yourself? Only someone blind wouldn’t see that you’re definitely not heterosexual. And it’s not a good enough reason to talk about myself.”

He snorts, pleased. “I will take this as a compliment. Still, why didn’t you tell it to me before? You knew right away about my-” His words are cut short by rough coughs.

Two flowers crawl their way out, leaving his throat aching as he holds himself onto his knees to wheeze and to retrieve his breath. Regulus tries to soothe him with a hand going back and forth over his back.

“I just never felt like I needed to say it. My friends never asked and they knew.”

Sirius clears his throat, straightening up and whipping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Well, I want to know about it. This is huge, Reggie— I mean we can share!”

“Once you’re free from this stupid curse, yes,” he accepts.

“No, no, now ,” he playfully argues. “Don’t you want to make me happy?”

“You’re— fine. But I’m not sharing more.”

“When did you notice it? Do you like someone-”

“I’m answering what I want to,” Regulus warns, stepping back toward the door with an angry step.

“You have to give me something Reggie. You know, lift up my mind and all.”

“You’re insufferable!” He shouts with his face so red Sirius fears it will get stuck like that. “I noticed— someone when I started my first year here and that’s how I realised. That’s all.”

“Who was it?” Regulus’ shoulders almost touch his ears with how tensed up he is. “Don’t tell me it’s someone weird like Snivellus or Gilderoy— Merlin’s balls, is it a professor? Like Dumbledore?”

“Ew, what is wrong with you?!” He exclaims with an intense wrinkle of his nose. “You don’t get to judge me but I can assure that my tastes are completely sane contrary to what seems to be going on in your head.”

“Hey, I just want to help you! Who knows what kind of creep will go after you!”

“Don’t be this kind of brother who doesn’t let me date because he can’t get it through his head that I can make my own choices,” Regulus cautions. “Be the one who either helps me get with the person I— like, or help me make them disappear if they ever hurt me.”

Sirius looks at him before snorting at the ever-severe tone. “Sure, I can do that.”

He smiles. It’s small but it’s everything and Sirius finds himself hoping . “Good,” he says within a whisper that sounds ready to tip to something more raw. “That’s good… Same for you of course. Back to what’s important, please really think about the bond. I really do believe it’s our best hope to find a cure for you and at least we will try.”

“Wait, were you— the running away is a real deal?”

“Just trust me Sirius, alright?” Regulus says. “Will you?”

Sirius wets his lips. This day has been exhausting but worth it. His plans were to stay in bed, try to distract himself. Regulus is the highlight of it, for a long time now which he can’t get enough of, and he wonders how much he has missed over the years.

“I do,” he decides and his brother stares at him with unwavering eyes. “Just let me think about it.”

“Why do you need to think about trying or not to survive?”

He feels like cheating that they are somehow bonding, actually talking, only because he got the Hanahaki. Without it, they might have never given each other a chance and he fears this future. The biggest part of him wishes that he could make Regulus forget about this curse, just to sweeten the deal, to not feel like a burden and an unwanted company. The Marauders would probably help him if they knew. Even Remus might have helped. They are good people. Sirius doesn’t want to throw this pain on them - they deserve the peace.

“Just let me.”

He didn't sleep well that night despite the exhaustion. It feels like a bad omen because he wakes in the dead of the night choking, throwing up flowers that could fill up the Great Hall, from a small dream including Remus and perhaps the Quidditch’s locker room with their clothes on the floor. Of course the flowers perked up and swirled up even from his sleep.

It leaves him restless and in pain and for a second Sirius considers distracting himself by reading something but the idea only makes him cough a few more times. He spends the rest of the night mulling everything over, focusing as much as possible on Regulus.

The lack of sleep and the struggle of keeping his mind focused must be obvious, despite the make-up he put on and the potion to hold back the flowers from slipping out. James meets his eyes at some point but doesn’t sign or try to talk to him. He does look conflicted and pained but Sirius knows all about it. Even if James isn’t the one whose secret got out, it was still the Marauders’ and Sirius broke all of it. His little paradise trashed by himself. Remus has needed a lot of time to open up and they all know it but now he might have come back to his old ways and Sirius finds it more punishing than anything else.

“Mister Black, stay behind please.”

McGonagall coolly observes him as the whole class empties. Marlene shoots a look at Sirius, as well as Mary who seems sad and confused, but he keeps his eyes on their professor. No one dares to interrupt and he tries to ignore the light feeling of Remus needing to pass behind him as soon as the lesson has ended. They don’t talk. They don’t look at each other. Sirius feels like he doesn’t exist.

She closes the door with a gracious swish of her wand, eyes not leaving him, before turning to her desk and gestures at him to sit on the chair that she just transfigured for him. There is no other professor that he cares more for and Sirius opts to simply obey, too tired to even try to come up with a smart answer that might make her hold back a laugh.

“I have barely heard you over the last two weeks, which I find incredibly worrying considering what might be going through your mind,” she starts with an imperious eyebrow. “I would have expected one of your tricks again but it has come to my attention that you haven’t come back to the Gryffindor dormitory over these weeks.”

“This sounds like favouritism,” he softly fires back, watching the cup of biscuits near him on her desk. “I hope you’re paid enough Minnie if you look after everyone from Gryffindor like that.”

“I can assure you that I’m gratified enough. You also went from being a troublemaker to staying by yourself without coming back to your dormitory and friends. Where are you spending your nights, Mister Black?”

He bites back on a scowl. Marlene could have easily snitched, especially since he avoided her as much as he can since the last time they talked. She might talk to the Marauders about him or discover the truth and he doesn’t want that.

“Who lied to you? I can give them a word or two for lying to you, Minnie.”

She is thoroughly unimpressed. “The Fat Lady is convinced that you never entered the Gryffindor dorm over almost a month. Your group of misfits is also not up to its usual mischief and I admit I worry about you. Do you sleep at another dormitory?”

Sirius coughs in the crook of his elbow and he feels like he is suffocating. He is really yearning for the toilet in his magical room. “Is it important?” His voice croaks.

“The house-elves have also confirmed that you eat in the kitchen rather than in the Great Hall. You do know that there isn’t a difference in the food.”

“I just feel like being by myself.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he quips back before shrinking in his seat at his insufferable tone. “Sorry…”

Thankfully, she doesn’t appear mad but she takes her time to think over her words. “Sirius, would you like to talk about it? You and your friends still haven’t talked. Is it because of what happened with Mister Snape? We are nearing October and it has been going on since the middle of September.”

Snivellus hasn’t told the truth to her, thankfully but it doesn’t mean he can’t spill it any time. The only thing she knows is that they pulled a prank over him, which Sirius admitted was his idea to clear everyone else, and it ended very dangerously with the Whomping Willow almost squishing Snivellus. He got kicked out of the Quidditch team and some detention with James and Peter as Madam Pomfrey cleared Remus by declaring he was bed-ridden.

There aren’t high hopes that Snivellus might not be a complete wanker to realise how disastrous it would be for Remus if he speaks. He is probably waiting on the right moment or black-mailing them— Sirius needs to figure a way to avoid that. It’s the least he can do.

“I don’t know where I’m sleeping,” he says, opting to direct the attention elsewhere.

McGonagall squints at him and picks one biscuit, silently offering it to him. He refuses.

“What do you mean?”

“A door appeared in one of the corridors, out of nowhere. Of course, I opened it and found a bedroom with a small bathroom.”

Her eyes slightly widen before smiling. “I see. It’s the Room of Requirement. I shouldn’t be surprised at this point.”

Sirius frowns curiously. “What? Do you know about it? I ever heard of it.”

“During my years as a student I stumbled upon it once, yes,” she says. “It’s on the seventh floor, isn’t it? It’s also called the Come and Go Room.”

“Seventh floor, yes,” he replies, surprised. “Is it some kind of Hogwarts’ legend I never heard of?”

None of the Marauders have ever referred to something like it and Remus has gone through several books about the castle to work on their map.

“Not quite. This room only appears to people who really need it. The seventh floor isn’t used much, even outside of classes, which is perhaps why it built itself there. Only people looking for something specific might wander there.”

Sirius’ interest sparks up. “You mean that the magic took life there? It’s incredible! I have seen it shifting before I even think about what I might want or need.”

“Such as?”

“Er, well,” he trails off because she certainly won’t be happy to know that most things he needed came from his own bed from the Gryffindor’s dorm that the Room brought back. “Like a mirror. Or a quill when I lost mine. Anyway, that’s incredible— the amount of magic behind it, becoming sentient and understanding us…”

“It is fascinating,” she agrees with a small kind smile on her face.

He feels himself blushing, not realising that he has been babblering. Magic fascinates him, especially ones that become somewhat alive - evolving into a proper nature by itself without any wizard influence.

“How come no one knows about it?” Even Regulus didn’t.

“Even if you know about this room and went looking for it, its appearance will rarely be for anyone’s amusement. It still needs a specific reason to make itself known.”

“How did you find it?”

Her lips twitch. “I have been going mad over a particular spell and I was looking somewhere to practise quietly. The Room offered me all kinds of target practices and some water when I felt thirsty. I tried to find it later out of curiosity but it never showed again.”

“Uh. Do you reckon it’s born from all the magic going around? All of it concentrated to one point, especially considering how many people’s magic interact-”

McGonagall indulges his theories and fascination, even offering some of her thoughts about how a room such as this one has come to exist and the chance for another to come to life. Sirius finds himself happy and cheery after this. It’s refreshing and his curiosity doesn’t quite settle down after understanding how incredible this room is. Does it have a true form? How far can it change depending on the person?

This is the kind of thing Unspeakables must work with: the raw and wild side of magic - what isn’t tamed and comes from nature and more. It’s what Sirius wants to work with and learn from. Being an Unspeakables is incredibly difficult and dangerous but there is nothing looking quite as satisfying as this. Though now he won’t even reach the end of his studies with all the flowers drowning him from the inside. Remus has told him he could become one, that he has all the skills for when he shared his fear and ambition, but now he lacks time. A few coughs escape him but he ignores her intense eyes.

“Please Sirius, take care of yourself,” McGonagall says after allowing him to go to his next class with a written excuse, “and try to talk to your band of misfits. Trying is often the best first step. And do not think I haven’t noticed your coughing, go check on it with Madam Pomfrey, it’s already been a while and you haven’t stopped.”

“I planned to go, thank you Minnie.”

Sirius has no chance if he goes to Madam Pomfrey to keep the flowers hidden. She will know and perhaps be understanding enough to not tell anyone about it but still, she might try to treat him and too many people will be brought into his business. This reminds him that the full moon is almost here - this year has a bad timing where one full moon happens during the fall break. There is also one in a few days and Sirius is torn apart by the desire to go or not. Remus and Moony are connected, despite what he might say, and their moods tangle together. Neither will be happy to see him.

After a rough coughing and a bouquet of flower floating down the toilet of the Room of Requirement, he wanders to the kitchen to grab something to eat even if the more he munches, swallows and drinks the sicker he feels. The flowers do not like it even though they shouldn’t be in his stomach in the first place. They might have already spread everywhere if he listens to his feelings, sometimes even believing that he can feel the vines digging through his limbs.

Regulus isn’t wrong. It does feel like he is already running out of time and the only few things he has stomached to read promised nothing better comes after. He tries to picture how he would react if someone he knows had the Hanahaki— he would do anything for any of the Marauders and the girls. As well as for Regulus. Sirius would go mad at the picture of seeing him slowly die. The flowers are pretty enough to hide the horror on the inside but they carry their own pain.

Will anyone recognize his corpse once he dies or will he become one with nature? The flowers were at first simple wolfsbanes but now some moonflowers have joined the show. They are all terribly accurate and Sirius has always felt quite obvious about his feelings for Remus but this is even worse. All their petals are pretty and soft to touch, but it might be the poison talking, and vanishing or incendioing them has started to become painful.

Even if they came up from his own inside, they all hold on to some of his blood as if to confirm y es we are from you and you aren’t different from us .

Sirius Black is a sad pathetic almost-a-man who is too selfish to be any good to anyone. He loves these flowers. They destroy a path within him to get out and isn’t that a pretty fight to watch? Sirius would like to think he is the one braving this suffocating mould, crushing weight, to find the same freedom as when he put a foot in the Hogwarts Express the first time.

He accepts the nuptial bond. No matter how crazy it is or the number of times he can see his parents proudly declaring their family motto: Toujours Pur. Always pure of shit for sure. Still, it’s worth getting more time for Regulus and Sirius is convinced that his brother will do far better by getting outside their cursed home - even if it’s through blackmailing himself.

Because Regulus is a year below, they don’t share classes and it’s rare that they cross paths between one. Sirius doesn’t have the map with him which means he can only try to track down Regulus by himself but he figures out he might try his luck in the Great Hall for an early dinner. Thankfully his brother is already eating at the Slytherin’s table with Emmeline Vance.

Their eyes meet. Sirius swallows, gnawing on his left cheek before nodding at him. Regulus pauses, slightly surprised perhaps to no one but him and Vance who glances curiously at their exchange. He returns the sign and focuses back on his meal.

Sirius could actually try his luck at the Gryffindor’s table, anyone outside of his old circle will let him sit down. The girls don’t seem to know what happened but they are without a doubt on Remus’ side, which he is thankful for because he doesn’t need to lose more trust, beside perhaps Marlene who won’t leave Sirius alone. Though she might be more worried about losing her hair-care partner rather than what’s going on.

McGonagall has spotted him and Sirius forces a charming smile as he slips in an isolated seat, clear of anyone, and ignores the slightly surprised look at his return from a few Gryffindor. He doesn’t manage to stomach much but McGonagall is keeping an eye on him. His body can’t handle staying much longer at this spot and jumping at every new face walking through the door but he picked up food here and there before quickly walking out of the Great Hall. Thankfully, he doesn’t cross anyone’s path from the Marauders or the girls as he quickly goes back to the Room of Requirement.

He is surprised when he can see the door forming some time after, quite quickly  after he came back actually. It always appears to him, like some kind of promise that he can get out at any moment, but if Sirius doesn’t wish to leave the room then it opens on the wall. Still, he hasn’t found any strange feeling or reason to mistrust the room over time.

Regulus and Evan Rosier come in, the latter with a bemused look as he takes in the room and the door. Sirius is curious to know whether any of his old friends would be allowed inside like Regulus seems to be. It’s only because he is here that Rosier could have come through.

“What is this place?”

“I don’t know,” Regulus answers, watching him observe the room. “It’s probably Godric trying to outdone Salazar because of the Chamber of the Secrets.”

“You found it?” Sirius asks curiously.

“Of course not. Have you tried to find it?”

“Obviously.”

Rosier eyes Sirius. His hair is still as ivory blond as ever and his shoulders are tall and set, almost calling for a fight, but he can easily see that it’s simply the natural stance of any Pureblood breed and trained for power.

“Are you really agreeing to Reg’s crazy idea?”

His brother glares at his friend. “It’s not.”

“It is,” Sirius agrees, “but I’m willing to try.”

Regulus observes him and hopefully can see everything behind his words. Rosier is really not someone he wants to reveal himself to. His father is clearly like their parents though whether he receives the same kind of treatment is a question but he must believe in this old Pureblood supremacy.

“What is your curse?” He asks, crossing his arms as his eyes curiously look at the comfy bedroom settled in there. “And what is this place?”

“It’s called the Room of Requirement.”

“The what?” Regulus frowns at him. “Did you name it?”

“No, though maybe Minnie did. She is the one who told me about it.”

“Really?” He is pleased by the surprise. “What did she say?”

Sirius eyes Rosier and finally leaves his bed to properly greet them. Another large seat appears next to the pair that have never left. He supposes that Rosier won’t be able to find the Room if he has bad intentions. Plus he really wants to believe in Regulus, as a proper brother, and sadly this means also his friends - a tiny bit, maybe. Even if Rosier had been one of these Pureblood children they met over these awful meetings during their childhood, always perfect and never too much flawless.

“They don’t know where it comes from, just that his room will appear and adapt to the person walking in to their desires but only when they greatly need it. It’s more a legend so that must be why it isn’t known.”

Rosier squints at him and examines the room another time. “Well, it’s impressive. What about my first question?”

“Evan,” Regulus warns with a seething glare as he walks to his usual seat.

Sirius really doesn’t feel like hosting Rosier but he forces himself to be friendly— only for his brother. A small table appears in front of him with a seat of teacups and a boiler which starts to gently fume.

“What? I’m only curious to what madness you are throwing yourself into,” he dryly comments and walks up to a seat with a perfect poise. “You don’t seem to realise what you’re asking for.”

“We already talked about it,” he hisses back and to Sirius’ surprise seems actually bothered by his friend’s questions. “Stop it.”

“I have the Hanahaki.”

Regulus gapes at Sirius before taking in Rosier’s shell-shocked look. He lost all his humour and teasing. All his decorum is swiped away, for once showing something akin to honesty. Sirius hopes it’s a good sign.

“The Hanahaki?” He parrots. “The flowers? You have that ?”

He scowls, unsure of what it means. Out of them two, Sirius is probably the one most in-touch with his feelings. Rosier grew up like any other Purebloods and his father has always seemed to only care about money - though perhaps his dead mother has influenced him in a good way. He doesn’t know the whole story about the Rosiers.

“Yes.”

Rosier frowns at him for a few seconds. “Is it Lu-”

“Don’t!” Regulus cuts but Sirius coughs up flowers anyway.

Our love! Sirius puts a hand over his chest with an angry hiss in his mind at how the flowers start to swoon as if they are the same. Regulus frowns worriedly at him.

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?” He painfully articulates and Rosier is almost sorry by the look of it. “You don’t even know me but it’s obvious— do you see why I don’t want anyone to know? Anyone at Gryffindors will immediately put it together at the smallest doubt.”

Rosier nods and purses his lips. “How do you even hide it? If you were missing all the classes it would have been known by now.”

“I brewed a potion to hold them back,” he explains and sits down on the last seat available. “Air passes through, as much as it can since the flowers clog my lungs.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Regulus complains with a glare. “It’s incredibly dangerous. What are the ingr-”

“I just need to empty my lungs once I get some free time and that’s all. And you are crazier than me, you want this to happen to you.”

“Only because it will actually help you! It won’t affect me in the same way.”

“You don’t know that Reggie.”

“Actually,” Rosier speaks up to Sirius’ annoyance. “I think Reg’s theory might be right. The Hanahaki needs feelings to live on but it doesn’t cause them, which means that it will grow with nothing to feed on. Hence not growing.”

“Exactly.”

“Still,” Sirius interrupts with a glare at them two. “You don’t know this exactly. The nuptial bonds are smart and made for this kind of tangled cursed fate.”

“Well if I end up to your point then we can break it,” Regulus offers. “If I cough full flowers, Evan will break it.”

“But what if you really catch it? You don’t know whether the flowers can latch onto some of your feelings.”

“It needs to be unrequited,” Rosier reminds and must feel like they are merely theorising because he is quickly abashed with a quick glance at Sirius before looking down. “Well in this case you don’t have the same feelings for— him .”

“Merlin, no.”

Sirius tries to swallow his coughs but it doesn’t properly work. Thankfully neither comment even if Rosier seems uncomfortable. Perhaps he is pitying him or actually thought it was a joke of some kind.

“Well, I’m willing to try,” Sirius mumbles just to soothe his brother’s prickly self because his face is still all crunched up.

Rosier eyes him. “Alright… I never casted one before but I was taught how to do it.”

“As long as we never speak about it.”

Regulus scoffs at Sirius. “Do you really think I want to share about this to anyone?”

“You’re literally the one who thought of that! How could you even think of that idea!”

“Because I tried to come up with a way to counter the curse! There are some curses countered with another and-”

“Alright, alright. Let’s do this,” Rosier offers with a polished smile. “Better not lose time, you can’t afford that.”

Sirius scowls. He can afford the time to beat him up if it’s needed but it will probably not please Regulus. The only thing that matters now is his brother. Efforts will be needed but he doesn’t want to lose a second with him. It feels like he reached some kind of heaven to finally be in close proximity to Regulus, especially considering that they have started to clear up things between them. The best thing he can do is to lead Regulus out of their cursed home to help him be the good man he actually is. Also he can’t die without hearing more about Reggie’s little crush from his first year— or maybe still is now.

They need to hold hands for the bond to be made, which is more than awkward, and he can’t decide which pair is sweatier than the other. Regulus’ eyes stay on Rosier and his wand work.

Sirius wants to take everything in: how his hands are slightly smaller but Regulus is still growing, how his skin is slightly paler because the only time he truly goes outside it’s for Quidditch. They are soft but cold and Sirius squeezes them within his. Their fingers are tangled, hands crossed as an infinity symbol and the more Rosier pronounces the incantation - the stronger is the shimmering strand curling around the fourth fingers of their left hands. It seals into almost invisible golden rings.

Rosier and him stare at Regulus but there doesn’t seem to be any reaction. Sirius is sure that the spell worked but he doesn’t feel anything different. He is about to offer the tea that the room brought for them when a rough wheeze slips past his brother’s nostrils.

Within a beat, his hands fought out of Sirius’ and are at his throat as he chokes. Sirius immediately leads him to the bathroom and shouts at Rosier to cancel this stupid bond but Regulus still tries to argue and shoots a furious glare at him before going over the toilet to gags out some petals. Rosier hovers anxiously but Sirius doesn’t let go of Regulus, hoping to soothe some of the pain by rubbing his back.

Just when he believes a few petals is all there is— after all, the Hanahaki can’t have latched right away, right? A whole moonflower falls down the toilet. Just one.

Regulus’ breathing is still a bit erratic and he spits several times after clearing his throat. Rosier stares at him, worried, with a glass of water in his hand. Sirius takes it when gestures at it and offers it to his brother. Sirius realises now that he has quite literally caged Regulus against the toilet and he gingerly leans back to leave him some space as he keeps his hands kneading his back.

“I’m alright,” Regulus articulates after emptying the glass.

“You need to break this off right now ,” Sirius hisses at Rosier. “You said it yourself-”

“No.”

“Shut it Reggie,” he hisses. “You are already coughing! So much about not being affected-”

“The bond replicates ,” he spits. “This means that I will still have some effects because you have them. I’m merely coughing what is already inside you right now. It will probably be only petals from now on.”

“This wasn’t part of the plan!”

“Do you see me coughing anything else?! The Hanahaki just realised there is another body now. And I said when I cough flowers , as in more than one.”

Sirius’ jaws are grinding. “I don’t like this.”

“You promised to try, Sirius. You promised.”

Rosier is clearly uncomfortable about it and Sirius sighs because he doubts that he will break the bond if Regulus doesn’t say so.

“Stay here tonight, I want to keep an eye on you.”

Regulus doesn’t disagree, thankfully as Sirius is in no shape to really argue. His brother tells Rosier that he can come up with an excuse for Crouch Jr., who has probably realised that he has been distracted by the rest of their friends to not notice them two missing - Sirius isn’t going to ask what it means.

They talk between themselves, which he wants to pry on but he doesn’t. Once Rosier leaves, with a surprising ‘I really hope it helps, Sirius’, there is an awkward silence. The Room doesn’t bring another bed into existence or a different side of space like the first time they came in here.

Sirius’ bed is larger than a simple one so they can easily fit in it together. He offers Regulus to shower first as he still needs to drop by the kitchen to have some dinner.

“Bring me back something please,” Regulus asks.

“Something sweet or salty?”

He pauses before closing the door of the bathroom. “Sweet.”

“Alright.”

It’s their last words for the night. Regulus goes through one of Sirius’ essays that he needs to hand out in two days while he eats several biscuits. When his brother coughs, they both freeze but they don’t point it out. Sirius does too but his are rawer. His brother might only have a sore throat if you didn’t know what they did. They must be quite the pair.

They lay without a word as they try to sleep. There is enough space just like he thought and Sirius hopes he doesn’t move too much during the night or have another awful dream. He likes to have his space, knowing well that it makes him sound like an arrogant child, but he enjoys being nested in some comfortable space without worrying about falling; though he could also just sleep on the floor if he has enough comfortable items, frankly he isn’t that picky. He coughs too hard to stay on his back so he turns on his side to let it out. Regulus reaches out. They fall asleep hugging and tucked against each other.

It has never been in their habits. The only comfort they would offer or take from each other at Grimmauld Place is when either was at the end of their parents’ wrath or boredom. Neither were really conscious or feeling it but it’s probably why they even dared to do it. Their parents never mentioned it or noticed it; a blessing.

Sirius feels like he is a complete fraud. Regulus cares and reaches out only because he is going to die. If he wasn’t cursed, they wouldn’t be in this situation. He doesn’t say it because he is selfish. This small slice of happiness is bitter but it’s the only thing holding him back from running as far away as possible and dying out of sight, out of mind.

Regulus doesn’t have another coughing fit, though it sounds like he has a persistent tickle in his throat, and Sirius only sees him whenever they cross paths or when he comes by to spend time with Sirius before curfew. Which is almost every day but he keeps his comments to himself.

What does really change is that Rosier, or his brother, really did spill about the Hanahaki to the rest of their little group. He can feel too many eyes watching him. Pandora, Regulus’ Ravenclaw friend and who might be the only one who can be all touchy-feelings with him, actually seems to be hunting Sirius down. He swears she wasn’t here one moment and the next, she is right here.

“Merlin’s-” His curse is held back and the arms tighten around him.

It feels like there is some kind of written rule somewhere that no one is allowed to swear in front of Pandora - like it’s some kind of unforgivable curse.

“Here you go,” Pandora chirps with a smile, letting him out of her intense hug.

Sirius is unsure on what to do to deal with her. She seems happy and not pitying, which is the best he can ask for. Except that she still literally jumped on him.

“Erm, hello?”

“I will see you later, Sirius,” she says and leaves with a merry step. “Your hair looks nice today!”

He doesn’t know if it’s a good or bad sign. It leaves him a bit puzzled but he has to go through potion class with a tense and silent James. If only he could just leave school but Regulus will definitely hunt him down - they might not be on the same magical thread but Sirius wouldn’t be surprised that he would use any means to drag him back here.

“How are you?”

Sirius startles at the new voice and glances at Dorcas Meadowes settling at the same table as him. She walked in with the rest of the class and usually Sirius would have come in later than before, but after getting jumped by Pandora he figured he needed to sit down and mull over everything where she couldn't catch him.

“What?”

James, with Peter and Remus, came in with the rest of their classmates and along with everyone they are watching the odd potion partners. Though Remus barely pays attention to them before walking to his usual table. Sirius quickly turns his back to them, trying to ignore the confusion in James’ eyes and the flowers crawling up at a worrying speed. Go see him!! Look at him. Moony Moony Moony MOONY-

“So it’s true,” Meadowes cuts and looks at him with no shame. “You’re coughing.”

Sirius tries to clear his airways because he can’t find words. His glare falls flat with how his eyes watered at the deluge in his lungs.

“What do you want?” He hisses with a burning throat.

“Sorry, do you want to keep your usual partner? I figured you would prefer someone who wants to talk to you.”

The only times Meadowes and him talked were to scream at each other in the middle of Quidditch. She was a mean chaser as in she doesn’t need a beater’s bat to be dangerous because she would ram into people just to steal the quaffle. Sirius admired that up until he broke his leg when they both went flying into one of the watching towers.

“What are you bloody doing?!”

Sirius’ eyes slightly widen at Marlene storming over here. She is definitely pissed about Meadowes giving him attention but by the quick glance, he can recognize some worries about him.

“We are getting ready for class, McKinnon, isn’t that obvious?” Meadowes replies with a know-it-all tone and the smile that sends Marlene’s blood into overspeed.

“Get out,” she warns.

“No.”

Marlene glances at Sirius, outraged, before glaring at her in fury. “ I am partnering with Sirius.”

Mary is waiting for Marlene at their usual table but she looks as surprised at the scene as everyone else in the room. She definitely rushed over without thinking. Meadowes has the decency to check on him before facing her again, lips turned into an insufferable smirk which causes Marlene to blush.

“I reckon you’re both still forbidden from partnering together since the incident in second year.”

Her eyes widen and Sirius also can’t believe that she remembers that. Marlene and him only partnered once for potion, James had been out sick that day, and she jumped on the chance before any Marauders could. People thought they were in love that time because he and Marlene spent a lot of time together, teasing and bickering with each other. Their only partnership for potion ended up with the cauldron exploding, digging into the ceiling to get stuck there, with the room evacuated because of the aggressive fume. Slughorn banned them from working together ever again and put a note about it to all professors.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Marlene curtly asks with her eyes only more scrunched up in frustration.

“I’m attending class, which you’re bothering by the way.”

“Everyone please go to our tables to get ready, we have a lot of work ahead!” Slughorn greets as he walks in. He pauses at his table, taking in who Sirius’ partner is and Marlene. “Well Miss McKinnon please get to your seat please, we need to start.”

“What?”

“Chop, chop.”

Sirius nods at her to go, offering a small smile that he hopes clears all her questions, and she does with a last icy glare at Meadowes. He notices that James had been left with no choice but to sit with Meadowes’ old partner, a shy dark-haired Slytherin. Regulus has mentioned that she has no friends in her year and Sirius doesn’t remember her being caught chatting or having fun with anyone in their shared classes. Her potion partner doesn’t seem to care about the change, even looking rather gratefully at James who greets her politely.

Slughorn starts his class immediately. Sirius’ focus drifts to Meadowes jotting down words before noticing the blush on her cheeks or the quick glance that she stops halfway towards Marlene’s table. He checks on it, taking in Marlene glaring at them and furiously whispering with Mary and Lily who leans away from her table to listen - not that Slughorn would care what she does since she is his favourite.

Meadowes look pretty happy and cheerful but tries to hold most of it back. Sirius can’t be imagining it, right? When she sat here, she seemed friendly but not overall happy up until Marlene rushed to their table to argue with her. He knows for a fact that Marlene gets off from the fights, the arguments, the insults and the slight mockeries. No matter how much she screams and promises vengeance, she always ends up somewhat complimenting and pining for Meadowes and Sirius can totally understand her point.

If he follows his instinct, he might almost believe that Meadowes is in the same situation and antagonise Marlene at every chance just to drink up all her attention and preen under it.

“Merlin’s pants.”

“What?”

Sirius glances at Meadowes, trying to hold back a smile that feels foreign - it’s been so long . He definitely needs to share this to Marlene. At least something good will come out of this weird pairing.

“Nothing,” he replies, “just realised how weird that we are— sitting here. Together.”

She frowns at him before softening with a courteous nod at the ingredients they need to prepare. “Well, I figured you need company… I noticed that something was going on with you.”

“Can’t lie but say that’s weird.”

She snorts. “Let’s say the contrast jumped into my face— plus I know Reg’ cares about you, even before he never talked about you if it’s not to complain.”

“He talks about me?”

Her shrug doesn’t hint at anything specific as she puts the first ingredient in their cauldron. “Insulted you. Now though it’s different, we had to pull the truth out of him if I’m honest but,” she trails off, checking over the heat, before looking at him. “He is getting sick over worrying about you. Actually it is now, ha! Isn’t that right? Weird kind of bonding if you ask me.”

Meadowes knows . All of them probably do but Sirius thought he would have more time. She stares at him, waiting on some kind of answer, but he can’t really think this through. He figured no one would care but then Regulus barreled in and requested to be in this mess. Now his friends? What even for? They can stay at his brother’s side and ignore Sirius; this would make sense.

“He is the one who forced me.”

“And I wasn’t invited to the wedding, very rude.”

Sirius barks out a short laugh before focusing down on their potion, feeling out of place.

“It wasn’t very pretty. We didn’t even get a cake, can you believe that?”

“Major faux-pas, you should divorce this selfish boy.”

“Regulus hid the papers before I could.”

Meadowes chuckles with no shame and shakes slightly her head. They work together with no hitch and even chat about the latest gossip, her current crochet project and Quidditch.

“We should fly sometimes. Me and Em’ try to fly every time we can, even just for fun. Sometimes Reg’ joins us,” she offers. “I know you got kicked out of the team, which is a shame by the way, but with your— condition you might not be able to later.”

Sirius decides to sidestep her last comment. “Em’ as in Emmeline Vance?”

“Yes, the fastest and most skilled flyer I have ever seen.”

He frowns at her. “I never saw her play Quidditch.”

“That’s because of her parents. It’s uncouth or whatever crap that a girl likes to cause some violence. She does everything to please but they still didn’t allow her to play the try-outs.”

The Vance family is without a surprise Pureblood, although a minor one, but he has heard that they worked hard to climb up the ranks. There are mostly good things about them which Sirius considers as bad since Purebloods’ traditions and culture is pure crap.

“But she is at Hogwarts, surely they can’t stop her.”

“I tried to convince her to try her luck many times, believe me. She is planning to wait until she gets out of school to do whatever she wants— that’s something. Anyway, she wouldn’t mind if you join us.”

Sirius is honestly surprised by all the sharing. He would have never pictured any of this, especially not at their first polite talk. Regulus didn’t even talk about his friends that much - though it’s probably because he is more worried about Sirius’ health.

“I will think about it, thanks.”

She smiles at him and he returns it. It must be weird for everyone else who observes them and Sirius can picture many eyes on them just for the fact they are polite and not at each other’s throats. Remus probably doesn’t care. Too fed up with him.

He coughs and Meadowes frowns at him but he signs that he is fine. Considering that it’s a full-moon tonight, Sirius is barely suffering compared to Remus.

Nothing has changed except that Regulus coughs here and there, throat gritting, and that a group of Slytherins have elected to come to his room as if they have always been friends. At first it’s strange and almost everyone is uncomfortable. Yet they still follow Regulus and have opted to be intensely friendly to him.

Sirius has taken the habit to play with the light to see the faint gold ring mirroring Regulus’. He doesn’t feel anything from it, thankfully the nuptial bond doesn’t include feelings, but he somehow likes the sight of it - of having Regulus near him one way or another. His brother notices this small habit and takes it badly by the glare he throws at him; Sirius naturally responds to the same tone by staring daggers right back at him and they both get lost into a competitive stare-down.

“Have you thought of killing him?”

Regulus’ focus snaps on Barty. Sirius needs another second before understanding what he just said. This one is the craziest out of the Slytherin’s bunch and for Merlin’s and Morgana’s lives, he can not understand whether he really is mad or plays the part to trick people.

“Barty,” Evan mutters but keeps his eyes on his book.

“I’m just wondering.”

Sirius swallows the tingling but the flowers push their way through. Bastard. Kill him. HIM. Barty looks at him and the petals with a fascinated glint even after he vanishes them.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Regulus replies.

“Did you really say that?” Sirius blurts out.

Barty barely blinks at Sirius’ glare and shrugs. “I’m just curious if the curse would consider it unrequited.”

Dorcas kicks him off the couch, gift of the room, but he saves himself from the fall. None of them truly came upfront about Sirius’ situation but they don’t hide that they know it. It’s a strange mix.

“It would,” Regulus quietly answers, returning back to his book.

“Barty, can you imagine yourself if the love of your life was dead?” Pandora wonders, playing with her wand as she throws random ingredients into her cauldron.

The Room of Requirement has accepted them only when Regulus walked first but now most of them have managed to come in how they want. Sirius is unsure if he has made the decision of letting them in without realising it or if the Room thought it was what he needed. They are alright but still, they aren’t his friends.

“Oh.”

He glances at Barty who seems immensely troubled and furious at the ceiling. Pandora stares at him with a small smile and Evan turns his back to them all on his seat to continue his book. Emmeline is innocently observing, though something must be going on behind her Pureblood made mask. She has a softness compared to what Sirius used to wear, or Regulus, and Evan’s own facade is full of arrogance and a fake camaraderie to throw people off. He is curious on how her house life must be but they have barely spoken outside their shared interest in painting and drawing.

“Do not talk about it,” Regulus reminds, sitting against the headboard on the bed, facing Sirius who is spread half-way at the end of it.

He closes his eyes. Barty first told Sirius, without even a hello or anything, that it’s a ridiculous way to die. He told - almost sermoned Sirius - that love should have made him stronger if he was smarter. Evan had immediately kicked him in the back of his knees and Dorcas declared he is forbidden from getting desserts for a week. Emmeline kindly told Sirius that Barty struggles to see others’ logic and this might more than often come off as rude but there are genuine questions, sometimes. Sirius still called him a bloody wanker and hexed his nose to sprout curly hair as long as his chest. They made up over a game of chess where Barty asked him what is the craziest prank he ever thought of.

“Yes,” Emmeline says, probably to replace the silence. “It’s a good idea.”

Sirius is curious about what she is painting but doesn’t want to overstep. It’s a bit of a hidden pleasure because he feels a bit deranged that he still likes ancient paintings as they are used a lot by Purebloods. Lily introduced him to tattoos and this has been his focus - though his attempts at putting charms and magic into ink has been put off because of his current problem. It’s not related to any old traditions and this makes him feel better. Still, he is jealous of Emmeline, only a little bit.

“Sirius!”

“Uh, what?” He glances at Pandora in surprise.

“I have a wonderful idea,” she smiles, waving her hand to clear the fume of her potion. “We could help you make a list.”

“A list? What for?”

“At the orphanage, we used to write down things we would like to have, do and so on. The first thing I wrote was to have a twin, which they mocked me for, but I was right.”

Sirius frowns at her, checking on the others’ reactions. Evan looks particularly troubled. To his surprise, he is actually kinder than he would have thought.

“What else did you write?”

“We do need to test you to check if you are a Seer,” Dorcas advises with a pointed look and Emmeline chuckles. “You can’t have predicted having a twin just like that. A twin , not a sibling.”

“You have a twin?” Sirius asks, flabbergasted

“Yes Evan of course.”

“What?”

“It’s a secret,” he replies with a shifty glance at him. “My father… Well Pandora is more stubborn it seems.”

“You and Pandora?” He repeats, turning to Regulus who mocks him with a raise of his eyebrow. “They are twins?”

“Really Sirius, it’s obvious.”

“I knew it the moment we waited for the Sorting,” Barty preens.

“You. Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“I will,” Meadowes warns, who doesn’t appear to have any patience whenever Barty and Evan get in their regular rows.

“Wait, wait— Pandora is a Rosier too? How come no one talked about it? That’s a huge deal.”

Evan sighs and closes his book. “My father only wanted one heir or at least he only wanted boys. Our mother died not long after giving birth so he was free to put Panda elsewhere.”

“You can call me Panda too Sirius,” she comments with a smile at his incredulous look. “I don’t want the family name though. I just wanted to find my twin and I got lucky.”

“She is a monster,” Regulus mutters behind Sirius who discreetly glances at him.

“You never told me about this. Do you still have that list?” Evan asks, sitting up in his seat as he looks at her.

“I remember it.”

“We can do the rest of it together,” he offers. “Maybe.”

“Oh, I would like to have a child.”

“Well not with me,” Evan dryly replies.

Barty barks a laugh. Emmeline joins and Dorcas smiles but keeps her eyes on her crochet. Regulus has a soft smile on his face and Sirius finds himself copying it without forcing himself.

“This list… Do you mean a bucket list?” His brother suddenly speaks up, eyes flying away from his book to look at her.

“Yes. I find it inspiring,” Pandora confirms and meets Sirius’ eyes. “Maybe it will help you too. Distract you.”

They don’t look at him but he doesn’t need that to feel that they are all waiting on his answer. Though Barty has no manners and stares at him openly like he is a curious puzzle.

“Of things I want to do before I die?” His voice sounds awfully flat.

“If,” Regulus hisses. “If you die…”

“You won’t die,” Pandora confirms and this weirdly feels like set in stone.

“Beat up my father,” Barty declares. “That’s what I need to do before I die.”

Sirius is out of their stories but it has been quite easy to put their dynamics together. Barty hates his father to no end, though it’s the same for almost all of them except for Dorcas. She acts a bit like the mature figure for them, not only because she is a year older than them like Sirius, but she isn’t too serious either - she really cares about them and more than often manages to know where it goes before they reach that point. Overall, they are all more or less broody but Pandora sweetens the deal with an endless positivity that can match with Barty’s— merry craziness . Emmeline is the most calm but she must enjoy the show because she never tries to stop them despite Dorcas calling her to do so; more than often she offers an input that only worsen their ideas and bickerings but without throwing herself on the stop.

He likes them to his surprise. Which is a relief as they are Regulus’ friends and he can almost consider them worthy enough to be around his little brother.

“There is nothing I really think of,” he says after thinking of Pandora’s idea. Maybe spend time with Marlene or if he is hopeful enough, to apologise and make up with Remus.

Regulus stares at him as he coughs and throws the couple of flowers on a bin next to the bed.

“Maybe travel? Over the break you should travel, go see everything that you can think of.”

“The North Pole!”

“Whatever for? Is there even something up there?” Dorcas asks Pandora.

“We will discover that.”

Sirius snorts. “That’s something.”

“Also hugs,” she says. “Tons of hugs. You need them.”

“Alright, alright.”

Pandora gives him daily hugs, at least five, and Sirius has stopped being surprised by them and to return them. It makes him think of James but he accepts them nevertheless. A lot of people have started to give them weird looks about it - especially since Pandora just walks, grabs him for long seconds, before walking away.

“From Reggie too.”

His brother doesn’t twitch but quickly glances away when Sirius looks at him. He has slept over two other times after the first one and they always wake up hugging. Whoever wakes up first always pets the other’s hair but they never speak about it. Sirius doubts Regulus would even be comfortable to talk about it.

“Your favourite meal,” Dorcas offers. “I would like to eat my favourite dishes all the time if I was in your spot.”

“That’s a good idea,” Sirius realises.

“Easy. Pasta with mushroom cream,” Regulus replies. “It’s your favourite.”

“Oh. Erm…”

He blinks at his brother. It’s such a distant memory that Sirius wouldn’t have thought about it. Digging through his memories has never been his strength, not that he tried much since it only gives him nightmares.

“Kreacher only prepared it once but you ate at least three full plates because you loved it so much. Then you threw up because of the amount you ate without barely breathing.”

Barty’s laugh is purely to mock him and Dorcas snorts with a bemused look at Sirius.

“I was 6.”

“It was really good,” Regulus admits. “Though we never had it again because of that.”

“That should be easy to make,” Evan muses.

“Maybe we could ask the elves.”

Sirius can’t help but show his surprise at how fast they follow this idea. He does remember the dish and it makes me hungry just thinking about it - even begging Kreacher several times to prepare it again but it never happened. Except that it’s not quite his favourite meal nowadays, close to, but it’s probably only because he never ate it again.

“It’s hum, well one of my favourites,” he mumbles out. Regulus’ eyes widen at him and he can read the uncomfortable betrayal before it’s covered up. Sirius bites his lips together but he doesn’t want to lie to him, not when they have made progress. “I would love to-”

“What is it then?”

He is surprised that his brother is taking this personally. His eyes are back on his book but completely cold and closed-off, like back at Grimmauld Place. Sirius notices that all his friends are quiet.

“Er, khichdi, maybe. But-”

“What is it?”

“Something that James’ mum cooked for us when I stayed there. She has her own recipe I think.”

Regulus doesn’t like the answer but he stays quiet, bringing the book closer to his face. Sirius hesitates to reach out. If he is honest it’s the first thing that jumped to his mind when Dorcas told her idea, but he doubts it will taste the same ever again. Effie won’t cook for Sirius anymore nor requests him to help around the kitchen but be kind and sweet. He has barely spent a week or two there if he counts all the days he went there, spread over all the summers since his first year. The curses for running away were always worth his time there even when James insisted he could just stay.

“The pasta sounds great.”

His brother stays quiet. Barty gets a kick before he can speak up, probably something unhelpful and only pissing off Regulus or Sirius or both.

“Well we can cook both,” Emmeline says. “It will be fun. And you can’t eat the same things over and over or it won’t stay your favourite dish by the time you are cured.”

“Great,” Regulus mutters.

“You should make that list Sirius,” Pandora insists, filling up several vials with what she concocted, “by the way I have these for you.”

She finishes cleaning her spot and everyone suddenly starts to take all their affairs. Barty’s stuff seems to be Evan by how he drifts to his side and bothers him by looking through his bag. He realises that curfew is in a few minutes and his focus shifts to Regulus. By his sullen look, he isn’t open to stay for the night.

“What are they?”

“To help the rash of the flowers. It worked on Reggie so I tried to make something stronger for you, it should also lull them to sleep but not affect you,” she explains as she lines them up on his night table. “It’s better than what you used, they won’t clog you. Though the effect should only last for a few hours…”

“No, no it’s great,” he quickly says. “Thank you. I will drink them for classes.”

She smiles, very pleased, and hugs him with a strong pat on his back. “Good night Sirius.”

Evan and Barty have already left, probably bickering, and Emmeline only finished now to tidy her painting and tools.

“Reggie,” Sirius calls when he catches his brother almost slipping out. “Stay.”

“What?” He scowls even though Sirius’s tone is perfectly friendly.

“Reggie, ne commence pas. Écoute-moi juste une minute.”

 Regulus rolls his eyes but stays, letting Pandora kiss his cheek before walking out with the other girls who wish them a good night. He squares his shoulders and throws a disdainful look at him.

“Well?”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are, you wanker,” Sirius says and brushes his hair with a hand before sighing. “Come on, you can’t be angry at me because I thought of another meal.”

“I don’t bloody care about that.”

“Then stay.”

Regulus scowls. “Why should I? Do you always need someone to put you to bed or something.”

“I want you to stay with me,” Sirius insists, “please. And you only shut your big mouth when you sleep.”

“Trust me I won’t open it again.”

“Reggie. S’il-te-plaît…”

His brother is surprised at his tone and shifts on his feet as his eyes shift to the floor but Sirius won’t let him go. They are talking, looking at each other, sharing and living - it should be enough but he is selfish.

“I’m not mad at you,” he says.

“Really?”

“Yes,” he articulates and whatever he wants to add is held back.

Sirius softly smiles. “First thing on my list is having sleepovers with you.”

Regulus blushes and slightly kicks his legs as he finally leaves the door to put his bag down. “It’s a stupid one.”

“You can’t judge my list.”

“Yes I can.”

“I want sixteen years worth of sleepovers.”

“That’s impossible.”

“It will be if you get your arse over here,” he replies with a cocky smile as he jumps back on his bed. “Come on. We can’t talk when all your friends keep babbling.”

“You babble as much as them.”

“But what I say is always relevant.”

Regulus finally relaxes, shaking his head at him, and even sheds off his cloak to join him, tucking his legs under himself as he accioes his book over.

“You ate today, have you?”

“Yes, yes,” he groans out. “Geez.”

“I need to check because you’re a stupid prick who needs someone to sleep.”

“You’re mean.”

“Thank you. And you smell so go take a shower.”

Sirius tuts and kicks his shin. Regulus only smiles which makes him grin too. He shifts on his stomach to face him properly.

“When you talked about Pandora being a nobody by our rules,” he starts, “did you mean about this crazy story that she is a Rosier?”

“Yes… Evan did a test to be sure they are related but they keep it to themselves in case their father— well, is a Pureblood.”

“So it’s your little group’s secret?”

Regulus frowns at him. “Yes and you better keep it to yourself.”

“Hey, come on. I like Pandora, I wouldn’t do that to her,” he promises. “I’m still surprised, that’s all.”

“You better.”

His attention stays on his book and Sirius watches him with a small smile before sitting with his legs crossed. He can still see the look on his brother’s face when he corrected him on his favourite meal. Perhaps he should have let him believe that.

It’s difficult. They keep trying though. Sirius would rather know all the truths about Regulus, even if it isn’t what he expected, and he hopes it’s the same for him too.

“Do you want to know my biggest secret?” Sirius whispers with a rising excitement.

Regulus turns a page without looking up. “Anyone knows you’re bent, it’s not so much of a secret. I’m pretty sure some girls are actually into that.”

“You’re so bloody rude Reggie.”

He snorts and glances at him, pausing there. “What? This isn’t it?”

“Nope. But this one you can’t tell your friends about.”

Regulus frowns, only as a manner of thinking and nothing else, before closing his book. He never uses a bookmark.

“I didn’t want them to know— but Barty saw me coughing and he has the bad habit of being here at the right moment,” he explains. “Plus Pandora stared at me and I’m sure she knew but didn’t say so.”

“This one might really be a Seer.”

Regulus nods with a small chuckle. “She must be, yes. So? What’s your secret?”

Sirius spreads his legs. “You promise me you won’t tell anyone? And I really mean it.”

“Yes,” he replies rather mockingly.

“And you need to not let your brain go off.”

“What?” Regulus frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I know you’re brilliant and you might— you might put everything together but you really need to not do it,” Sirius explains and purses his lips.

His brother puts his book on his now night table with a serious look. “Is it about what happened with your friends?”

“You can’t ask questions.”

“Are you serious?”

“Always am-”

“Stop with that joke.”

“Can I just tell you my secret without you starting to pick a fight or always to figure everything out?” Sirius exclaims with a pissed look.

Regulus crosses his arms with his jaw jumping once. “Fine. But just so you know, I’m not always-”

Sirius shifts into Padfoot and this effectively shuts his brother’s mouth. His tail wags by itself before slowing down to a stop as Regulus’ face is completely devoid of any reaction.

He has wondered about telling him that he is an Animagus but he has decided that he is trust-worthy, especially after the last days. Contrary to what he thought, his brother needs a minute before finally reacting with his eyes wide and full of wonder.

“Sirius?”

Padfoot offers a quiet bark before crawling closer to lean against him. He is taller than him considering he is sitting on the bed they are both on. Regulus carefully places his hands on him, first petting his side and back before softly grabbing his face to look straight at him.

“Merlin, are you unregistered?” He asks and chuckles when he is pushed down for Padfoot to rub his face over his. “Urgh, of course you’re stinky.”

Sirius shifts back. “Hey, I’m perfectly clean and I know for a fact I smell great.”

Regulus shakes his head as he fights a small laugh. “Since when are you an animagus?”

“Third year,” he replies before noticing the slight frown on his face. “Don’t think too much about it.”

“Alright, fine,” he mumbles. “Was it difficult?”

“Some ingredients were tricky to get but nothing was impossible. Did you expect that?”

Regulus shakes his head and lays down with his eyes still on him. “No. I never even thought about this.”

“Well, it’s great! It’s worth the torture of keeping that mandrake leaf in your mouth for a month.”

Sirius wouldn’t be surprised if his brother guesses that all the Marauders are animagis, minus one but this isn’t something he must know, and Regulus seems to be deep in his thoughts. It’s risky to tell him but his brother could have gotten rid of him a long time ago by now.

“Would— would you help me to become one?”

He blinks at him. “An animagus?” Regulus answers with a nod, keeping his eyes away from him. They both know that he could do it by himself without a problem so— asking Sirius to help, be here, for him to do it must mean something. “Of course I will help you Reggie. You will love it.”

Regulus gnaws on his smile but his eyes are grinning. Sirius doesn’t hide any of his joy - just the thought that he stayed at his request, that they haven’t stopped talking and now this?

Padfoot comes out right away, throwing all his weight onto Regulus and they scuffle a bit. He is pet and hugged, tail wagging without a break, and he could fall asleep like that. His brother sounds so happy and none of his laughs are held back even though he keeps his face against his fur.

“Oh,” Regulus lets out at some point, fingers softly exploring one of his paws. “This explains this awful nickname they keep calling you— Padfoot .”

With a huff, he licks his under-jaw to irk him off before snuggling his face against his neck. Regulus chuckles and holds him. They never had any animals at home and the dead ones looked freaky. He isn’t surprised that his brother actually loves them, though he is probably a bit more comfortable since Padfoot is still Sirius.

He almost fell asleep and probably would have if his ears weren’t so sensible. Regulus is sobbing against his furry neck and just tightens his arms around him when he tries to move. With this angle, he can’t do much.

“Stay.”

Padfoot stays, snuggles and laps at what he can to comfort his brother the best he can. They wake up in the same position, without getting under the blanket but the Room is kind enough to keep them warm. It’s always a bit weird to wake up in this form, the distance between the wizard and dog is further and thinner. Regulus is still sleeping as he tries to picture his chances if he runs away like this.

Hiding as Padfoot was actually a part of the plan but the flowers have not bothered him all night and he doubts that Remus hasn’t come to his mind at all. He is the most recurrent guest there. Perhaps staying as Padfoot will disconnect him completely and get rid of the Hanahaki.

Sirius is a bit on a high over the next day. They haven’t talked about the crying but they also didn’t fight or run away from each other. Today is a Quidditch day and breakfast has barely finished so people rushed to the field for the upcoming Gryffindor & Slytherin game. Regulus and Dorcas are playing, just like James and Marlene, which should be enough for him to go watch the game but he opted to stay behind. He wouldn’t know where to sit; Moony and Wormtail would properly cheer on Prongs. He still hopes that Gryffindor wins.

“Padfoot!”

He freezes on his spot before turning to find Peter quickly walking toward him. Not quite nervous but he is clearly unsure of what he is doing. His cheeks have red and gold paint and his scarf is in one hand while the other has a letter. Sirius swallows and looks around them. He must be on his way to the Quidditch pitch.

“Wormtail?”

He comes to a stop in front of him. By the slight widening of his eyes, he must realise that Sirius isn’t someone he should talk to at this point.

“Hey… Hey Pads,” he clears his throat and offers a small smile. “You— how are you?”

“Pete’, you should go watch the game.”

His fringe has gotten longer ever since he saw him but it suits him. It almost fully covers his frown.

“We miss you,” Peter declares. “Where are you staying? Sometimes we can’t find you on the map.”

Sirius shifts his jaw before opting to not get his hopes up. “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m in class.”

“Sirius…” He sighs and glances at the letter in hand. “Look, what happened is-”

“What do you want Peter?”

“We can’t talk to you if you don’t come back to the dorm-”

“I really don’t think M- Remus wants to talk to me.”

This seems to be the wrong thing to say but it’s the truth. Sirius hasn’t thought otherwise.

Peter clears his throat and stretches out the hand with the letter. “You received this but you aren’t in the Great Hall for breakfast anymore. I took it because the owl seemed desperate… and before anyone else saw it.”

He frowns at it but takes it. Without the Black’s family insignia it means at least it should be safe but he can’t think of who would write to him.

“Er, thanks I suppose.”

“Do you know who it is from?”

Sirius shakes his head. “No.”

Peter pities him with a look. “Listen-”

“Wormtail? We ne-”

MOONY!

The flowers stab him with no mercy, screaming in joy and agony as they climb up. Sirius almost falls but he only takes a step back at the sight of Remus who stopped at the corner when he saw them. He is beautiful, just like always, and a Gryffindor scarf is around his neck which shouldn’t be a mesmerising sight after six years but Sirius can’t help but stare and wish to be tangled right there too.

Remus’ face is set in stone once he takes the whole scene in and the flowers lose their euphoria to go straight into a violent panic and fear.

He is mad! MAD AT US!

“Moony,” Peter realises, eyes quickly flying from one to the other.

BEG! Apologize— anything, please!

Sirius’ gaze is no help and only sweetens the lethal blow when they meet Remus’ amber, thunderous and noble , eyes. He flees. As much as he can through the faintness and the fighting bodies trying to crawl out of his throat. It feels like he is walking rather naturally, if not a bit rushed, but they can easily assume that he is a simple coward running away rather than choking around a sea of poisonous flowers.

GO BACK! TO MOONY!

He can’t breathe nor can see. There is nothing to save his fall and his body keeps breaking around waves of thorns, stems holding on to his guts, with flowers suffocating him in hatred with no mercy. His head thrums but the pain barely reaches him. There is nothing to feel and the relief is mute, completely false and poisonous, but he lets himself be swallowed with no fight.

His body is groggy and left with no strength but he can’t piece enough memories together to know where he is. A nausea rockets through his numbness and his eyes shut close at his attempt to see.

A cold touch helps him breathe. It brushes over his face another time and his eyes blink through the biting haze; Emmeline hovers with a frown until she meets his eyes and offers a slight smile.

“You’re alright,” she promises and her hand cautiously pets his forehead with a small wet towel.

Sirius is not alright despite the relief upon seeing her and the soft contact on his raw skin. He feels like he is bleeding. His throat feels clean which is an odd thought but it’s been a long time since nothing clogged it.

He tries to speak but his mouth gives up before the first sound. The ceiling has an accurate starry sky with a slight dome at the centre of glass. It can only be the Room of Requirement but Sirius has no recollection that he managed to walk far once he escaped Remus. Emmeline helps him sit up with a cautious hand on his shower and puts down the wet tissue to offer a glass of water.

“What—” He articulates after drinking but he still needs to clear his throat. “What happened?”

There is no one else beside them. Emmeline is sitting on a seat beside his bed and her bag lays beside her feet.

“I found you… Gagging,” she explains with a worried frown. “You were lying on the floor and barely breathing with flowers stuck in your mouth. I tried my best at extracting the flowers with Carpe Retractum and brought you here before anyone could find us.”

Sirius closes his eyes and drags his knees against his chest to rest his head. A cough climbs up which he tries to fight but chokes around a wolfsbane which falls on the bed.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

“It’s nothing,” she replies and shifts in her chair but doesn’t move closer. “Does it hurt somewhere?”

His answer is a weak shrug as his whole body throbs in pain and it feels like the flowers completely took control of him. He nails dig into his palms as he tries to wrest away the clear memory of Remus walking on Peter and him. His breathing grows erratic but is cut short by Emmeline softly tugging on one of his arms to force him to look at her.

“Do you want to see one of my paintings?” She blurts out with a slightly panicked look.

Sirius blinks at her. He takes in what she said, how she found him, and his current predicament. She touches him like he might break.

“What?”

Her cheeks get an intense blush and she lets go of him with an embarrassed throaty noise. “I— sorry, I just thought I must distract you…”

His situation can only be caused by one person and she obviously knows it. This time Sirius swallows the cough and forces himself to smile.

“I would love to see a painting of yours.”

Strangely, Emmeline is slightly surprised and grins excitedly before taking her bag to open it. Sirius unclenches his fingers as she looks.

He almost died, didn’t he? A spot on his head toward the left aches and he cautiously touches it to be sure of the bump he pictures. He must have fallen against the floor or a wall, it’s only a vague feeling but he has the proof of it. Remus hasn’t even spoken to him and his eyes haven’t openly showed any emotions but the flowers were livid and crying for attention. Emmeline glances up from a notebook as he coughs. With his wand, he fills up his glass with water again and empties it.

“Who won the game?”

“It only started thirty minutes ago or so,” she says. “But I’m convinced Slytherin will win this time.”

Peter must have found him ten minutes before the game. The letter is on his night table, slightly crumpled from his own hand probably, but at least Emmeline noticed it and brought it too.

“I think you underestimate us,” he replies.

“No. You were a core to your team and without you Potter can’t do as many tricks as before. Both of you worked too well together and I doubt Gryffindor will manage this year because of the sudden change. Perhaps at the beginning of spring they might be up their game, considering whether you return or not.”

“I certainly won’t,” he mutters before frowning at her. “Why weren’t you there to watch the game then? You obviously are into it.”

Emmeline shrugs with a sad smile, glancing to her notebook’s page where she taps her wand on. “I grew tired of watching it, I suppose. It’s different when you know— the feelings when you’re up there.”

They have only flew twice together but Sirius has seen that Dorcas’ words are right: Emmeline is truly brilliant on a broom, especially if you consider that she probably taught herself during her free time - probably with Regulus and Dorcas’ help but it’s still not quite the same training as when you’re on a Quidditch team.

“You’re right,” he agrees. “You should try to join the team, really.”

“You’re too nice,” she insists. “And to be honest, I found you which is more important. Though I didn’t expect that.”

Sirius’ smile dims a bit but she doesn’t point it out. Instead she takes out a small picture from her notebook, revealed by a tap of her wand, and she stands up with a curious look around the room. Thankfully, an easel appeared beside her.

“Oh, thank you Room,” she says with an amused look around, placing her miniature painting on it. “It’s still weird to think we are in something as— conscious.”

“I wonder if it can get lonely,” Sirius comments and watches her charm her painting back to its right size. “You keep all of them in a notebook?”

“I do. I’m not— narcissist I believe but I enjoy looking at them from time to time and like this I don’t get frustrated.”

“It’s brilliant.”

Emmeline smiles and sits back on her seat to let him see her work with no distraction.

“It’s Regulus.”

Sirius is almost jealous. He loves classical paintings and arts, as posh as it makes him, but it brings too many memories of Grimmauld Place and the Purebloods’ nonsensical and ever-oppressing tradition and culture. She doesn’t seem to have any argument about it though and her painting shows her education clearly.

It’s a beautiful scene of a winter forest. Though contrary to what you might expect is the sight of the peaceful rain, drenching the white snow in various spots, and all the snow appears to have settled like a warm blanket a long time ago. It’s still full of colour with shades of greens and a contrast with a bluish sky peeking through the branches and the shadows of the infinite forest. There is a spot though, just hiding behind a group of trees of warm light as if a comfortable fire is running there, perhaps fresh, but it leads your eyes across the exploration of the forest.

“Wait, you said it’s Reggie?”

“I understand why it must be weird for me to say I painted it by looking at Regulus when it’s this,” she trails off.

“Well, it’s really pretty,” Sirius says and feels like he needs to be more convincing because it is an impressive painting. “We might just  go through it, just at the other side of a window.” She smiles, pleased, and he returns it. “I just expected a portrait and not a winter forest.”

“Can I tell you my thoughts?”

“Of course.”

“I paint the feeling I have whenever I think of Regulus, how I picture him,” Emmeline explains with a tender look at her work. “He appears like a cold person, only at first of course, but beyond this he is also— unexpected. There is something, you know that you’re not alone despite the first look, yet you won’t know what to expect.”

“I see it,” Sirius blurts out, voice drifting in awe as all the details jump to him. “The snow is perfectly still. The trees side each other without completely obscuring a path but not quite offering one either. It’s— really I’m speechless, it’s lovely. Is this why there is a fire running somewhere there? It doesn’t look wild to me.”

“It isn’t. Reg’ needs time before trusting but once you get through his… Prickliness and upfront coldness then you will find how funny he is or how much he cares despite everything.”

Sirius swallows. He is a part of this everything - the abuse, the competition, the dark arts and the unclear path of their lives with no idea of what freedom even is.

“You’re right,” he answers shallowly.

“The rain is the depth. Snow happens when it’s cold enough but it’s affected by a lot of elements, if it’s too bothered it won’t solidify enough and become rain,” she says with a thoughtful voice. “Reggie… He isn’t the same around everyone. No matter if he isn't a happy person as in he isn’t as loud and optimistic as some of your friends for example. I don’t see it as a flaw, if anything it makes him rather realistic. Too many people forget how rain is important and that we need it from time to time.”

He hasn’t never shared about his enjoyment of art, especially this kind. There is nothing extravagant but it’s realistic, embellished beauty, but one that screams some kind of superiority - money - status. Sirius had hated all the portraits from his family and worse was the experiment to sit still for the painter to work but the sole action of painting always interested him. Even though it felt too posh, arrogant, boring and expected.

Tattoos are fantastic and Sirius can’t get enough but it’s not quite the same. He tries to not stare at some of the paintings at Hogwarts but some of them look fantastic and if he is caught staring, he comes up with an excuse be it any of the Marauders or the girls. He is scared of what it means that he likes something brought up from his ill-advised childhood.

“You’re— talented,” he articulates as tears weigh him down. “Your mind is fantastic. I completely see what you mean. That’s… him. That’s Reggie.”

She is silently surprised. Sirius can’t look away from the painting but he can clearly feel her eyes onto him. Thankfully she stays quiet as he tries to digest everything. There seems to be years of turmoil, confusion and yearning that has never hit him until now. He wants to be the best brother to Regulus, learn what he likes or doesn’t enjoy - who is that person who caught his attention back in first year? Sirius wants him to know everything about himself too.

It doesn’t feel like it will ever be enough. Padfoot was revealed and yet there are so many things Sirius wants to tell him beyond that but he is so afraid that they are running on a flaming spark that will run out any time soon. He finds himself in the middle of frozen water. The ice feels strong underneath him but it shifts at his every whims and they have broken some part of it to reach each other. What if it goes too far? If neither can swim in this endless darkness where they can’t predict if they will ever continue to love each other inside and out?

How come it’s so hard to connect with someone you love?

“Would you mind if I paint you?”

Sirius turns to her, throat gasping around fresh tears, and her eyes brim with small tears but she holds herself strong. One of her hands reaches out to grab one and tightens it with a soft smile.

“Me?” He croaks out, quickly rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Like you did for Reggie?”

“I painted all my friends, yes. But I always ask first.”

He doesn’t cry more but he gasps around mouthful of words that can’t decide in which order they must get out. It might mean that they are friends and somehow it isn’t as weird as he would have thought.

“Sure. I wish I could— Tattoos are what I like to do. But I still love art like yours but it feels wrong. Vile.”

“How so?” Emmeline is only curious by the look of it but it sadly isn’t helpful enough for him to feel confident.

“It’s… That’s what Pureblood does. They drape everything about them and always embellish the lie. All their paintings are about that. Family’s portrait? It’s not a family but the painter will make it appear like it and there is no other proof,” he articulates. “There is a set of rules. Superiority, power, control— be it by magic, money or image. All these paintings are made for this and I feel sick that I wish I could paint beautiful things like this because it will mean I’m using Pureblood's crap.”

She glances at her painting before smiling at him, her hand kindly squeezes his. “Do you find tattoos not beautiful?”

“No they are-”

“Art is used in many ways. I understand what you mean I believe— I paint like this because I like it but it’s my personal tutors who taught me and it’s only because my parents are Pureblood that I had this chance,” she replies. “I find the truth more interesting, as hurtful as it can be. It’s about who is behind the art that defines whether it’s a good one or not. You can use it to spread lies, cultivate Pureblood’s supremacy or— have fun. If you ever paint, it won’t be because you are a Pureblood but because you understand that it can be more than what we were brought to believe in. I paint for myself, not for my parents, or to show that I’m better than everyone else. I started a small secret group last year where we meet up to draw, paint, play music or sculpt and many have no basics but it doesn’t change their passion.”

Sirius blinks at her. He swallows and inhales. “You have a secret group?”

Emmeline blushes, shifting in her chair, before nodding. “It’s not quite a secret. A first year asked me about painting and before I realised it we started to use an empty classroom and more people came by. Dorcas comes to crochet and happens to be a model from time to time. We meet up two times per week… If you ever want to join. No one will care who you are and even less judge you.”

“Er, I do draft often, without realising but I’m not sure.”

“You’re a good person Sirius,” she declares. “Despite everything, I’m sure I barely know the surface of it but you managed to not become as twisted as your parents. I’m sure that if you ever paint, in any shape, it will be wonderful.”

Sirius can only nod, full of embarrassment and a broken satisfaction of all her compliments, but he doesn’t have the capacities to continue this current topic.

“Tattoos were— more common before and often used for magic. I’ve been trying to make something out of it.”

She smiles. “Do you want to show me some of it and your ideas?”

It’s a safe subject, one that he knows all the hidden nooks and every book about it. She quietly listens to all of it. Too many thoughts escape him but he barely realises any of it as she asks questions and whether she can see the one he has on him or not. He doesn’t see the time flying and soon enough dinner comes around.

As she expected, Slytherin won the Quidditch’s game but Regulus doesn’t come by - probably exhausted. It’s alright by Sirius who finds himself too sleepy to even move to grab something to eat. Emmeline left for dinner though she asked him if he still wanted company before.

The full envelope is still waiting for him and he finally opens it after taking a shower. It’s the full-moon tonight which he tries to ignore and thankfully this letter does the perfect job.

Chère Petite Terreur,

Sirius physically can not immediately read the rest of it— not with Dear Little Terror , which has always been the nickname Uncle Alphard used for him because of how many family dinners Sirius disrupted. It makes him happy despite the confusion and he forces himself to read the rest of it.

A pocket watch slipped out from the envelope with the letter, not ticking, but it's his uncle's and he remembers it because of the symbol of the hydra graved in the back of it and inside the pocket watch is an intricate drawing of a serpent circling the whole world. It turns out to be a Portkey that will be working on the Sunday when the Hogwarts Express will drop off students who want to go home for a week before Halloween. Most stay back for only one week but apparently Regulus planned it either way. For any other break their parents will expect them home.

His brother actually has a plan and apparently went ahead with it because their uncle said that he planned everything for them - even legal papers. Sirius reads the letter several times as he struggles to fully picture all of it. Alphard seems excited to have them over and care for them, mentioning how terrifying it must feel to them. They are brave, he says, to run away.

Alphard isn’t quite exiled from the family but he has a different living style than anyone else and he has been left out of most family reunions over time before completely disappearing for almost seven years or so. He is living in France now, in a quiet Muggle place, and the Portkey will bring them to the Portkey station in Paris where he will be waiting for them. They have the option to refuse his invitation. Regulus contacted him first - which Sirius would have never thought of and even less thought that his brother remembers him - and Alphard wanted to also tell Sirius personally on this run-away plan.

Regulus must have contacted him before he even offered the deal to Sirius– which is just so him that he isn’t surprised. His focus shifts to the clock, counting in how many minutes Remus will be walking to the Shrieking Shack with Pomfrey, before shaking his head and reading the letter another time with a hopeful smile.

There are big risks at running away to their uncle and it almost seems far more dangerous than going to the Potters like Sirius had planned. Alphard is like a ghost to them and he believes him when he has written that no one knows where he lives and that once Sirius and Regulus take the Portkey, all the papers to cut their parents’ control and to not have access to their Trace to find them through the Ministry. Their uncle will literally become their legal parent and has apparently planned it with Regulus’ help.

His brother is really a sneaky little liar but it only makes Sirius more proud.

He wants to write a reply right away but his body can’t relax. Despite everything, he can’t stay away. One might think the moon is also pulling Sirius but he knows it’s not true. It’s— Moony . Though this time the flowers are up and ready to make him squirm and he shifts into Padfoot the second he is out of the castle after checking that no one follows him. He hasn’t eaten anything for dinner because of the storm in his guts but he ignores the hunger.

It could be a very bad idea, the worst if the last full-moon hadn’t happened, but Sirius is possessed, running and covering in bushes once he can spot the Shrieking Shack. He is on time to watch Remus and Madam Pomfrey walking in the old house.

He realises as he waits for the rest of the night to unfold that the flowers are subdued when he is as Padfoot. He coughs up several petals but nothing more and the flowers have stopped singing to him. It’s still a bad idea and he doesn’t know what to expect. Moony can easily hate him as much as Remus does except that here they won’t talk and Sirius won’t be able to outrun him.

Once they all became animagis, they have never been separated over all the full-moons that happened during school. Sirius wouldn’t want to break a habit, just in case that Moony needs all of them then— well, Padfoot will be up and ready to join them again. Prongs and Wormtail are perfect to distract and play with Moony so they should be fine. Padfoot finds himself whining at the idea that he might be not needed.

Madam Pomfrey leaves the shack and he can picture James and Peter making their way over here. He could be by their side and he feels like he is - Remus’ cries of pain and the sickening crack of bones and flesh are right beside his ears. Except that he is outside, isolated from the bubble created inside the Shrieking Shack to mute the horror, while Prongs and Wormtail patiently wait for Moony.

Padfoot startles at the sudden crash into a wall. His eyes easily find the figure of a large werewolf barreling through the night like a terror. It’s a very bad moon then— Moony happens to be in a bad temper from time to time but he has never been this aggressive-looking. Prongs and Wormtail immediately run after him.

He has never truly been scared of Moony, if anything he is fascinated and he wishes he had hands sometimes to soothe and touch. It’s probably strange. A werewolf could easily tear him in pieces with minor efforts.

Padfoot needs a second before deciding to follow the Marauders as discreetly as possible. He only means to check on them and if his mistake broke everything they have built with Moony. The previous moon had been peculiar as Prongs and Padfoot kept ignoring each other without the usual cheeriness of running through the woods. Perhaps this is why Moony went off in a very bad mood this time.

His nose easily catches on where they went but he can’t manage to get a good view of them. It seems that Moony wants to run to the end of the earth and Wormtail must be clinging like crazy to Prongs’ coat as they rush through the dark woods. Hopefully Moony tires off soon. Padfoot is finally getting close because the smell intensifies and there are claws marks over some of the trees - one completely destroyed. He jumps on the broken trunk to have a better view. It’s his mistake that he only focuses on only worrying about their possible whereabouts.

A large shadow catches him with no mercy, bringing him down into the dead leaves as Padfoot squeals in surprise at the attack and weight keeping him pinned. Moony breathes right into his face, snarling and crowding his space. Padfoot reacts immediately, tail tucked between his legs and ears bowed as he tries to show that he is no danger to him. It’s the usual act but this time it isn’t enough.

Moony growls at him, paw still digging into him, as he rapidly huffs and smells him. It’s feverish and he can’t read Moony’s eyes if he keeps his gaze down to not challenge him. He hears Prongs stopping right beside them, at a respectful distance despite the anxious stompings, and Wormtail’s panicked squeak. Moony doesn’t give them any attention and Padfoot can’t even try to.

He has no idea what he is looking for. His smell is well-known, probably how Moony knew where to go to catch him, and yet he seems to be looking for something else. A plea cradled into a whine and a tentative wag of his tail finally shakes him off.

Padfoot doesn’t budge when Moony’s tongue splashes him. It’s not rare but still not a habit that Moony ever licks him. They are both canines so they have an easier time understanding each other, compared to Prongs and Wormtail, but Moony shows his affection with small nudges and head-butts. Licks are rare but currently he seems to be trying to groom Padfoot which is very unlikely.

Still, he doesn’t move a muscle and lets Moony decide on where it goes. At least he appears to be in a better mood, even slightly wiggling his butt as if he has a tail, and Prongs appear to have relaxed when he glances at him and Wormtail. Once he is happy with his treatment, Moony pushes Padfoot up to get him to move. He towers over him and keeps him crowded, dragging him back against him with a paw when Padfoot supposes that standing means they should start to walk. Moony keeps him like that for a few beats before letting go.

Wormtail is happy to see him and Prongs greets him with a graceful nose-to-nose contact. Padfoot is ecstatic and he gets lost into that feeling as they start to gallop through the forest. Moony is still in a weird mood and doesn’t let him get any real distance. He snarls and snaps his teeth as a warning, hurrying at his side or grabbing him and dragging him to his side. There is no complaint until Padfoot makes the mistake of not noticing Moony rushing for an unlucky rabbit that he slashes with one big paw.

Usually they manage to stop him from killing any wildlife, and eat them , but they must have been all distracted by Padfoot’s sudden appearance. Prongs immediately tries to push Moony away from the fresh flesh and gets a snarl for it as Moony brings the bleeding rabbit to Padfoot who has been barking in an attempt to distract him.

He doesn’t eat it despite the insistence as Moony even tears it in smaller pieces before nipping frustratingly at Padfoot without truly hurting. His hungry stomach has probably made a noise at some point because this never happened before. Thankfully, Moony lets it go and doesn’t eat the flesh himself.

The dawn comes far too quickly in Padfoot’ opinion and despite the pain starting, Moony whines more at Padfoot not entering the Shrieking Shack as it gets louder the more Prongs pushes him inside. Wormtail only follows when Padfoot jerks his head ahead to follow them. He doesn’t stay.

Remus rarely remembers much of the night outside of the pain so Sirius hopes that this time there isn't much that he can recall either. He only wanted to check on them, on Moony , and he doubts anything good will come of it. Though he can’t help but be happy about the affection thrown at him tonight, especially from Moony himself.

We need to stay! Sooth and nurse him! LOVE HIM.

The flowers are mad. Very much angry at him. Sirius shifts shortly once he is at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. His throat immediately clogs up before he can even properly feel back on his two feet and he almost falls to his knees because of the pressure screaming to get out.

He feels like his throat is bleeding and the flowers have more red hue than the purple and white of the petals. His mind has left somewhere after the second hurl before he can finally recall where he is. It has been more violent than ever and Sirius fears that it’s caused by his Animagus form, perhaps the flowers aren’t able to feed on his love in this form and it caused this violent shock.

“Pads!”

Sirius stands up the best he can, head turning to catch on James and Peter coming from the forest. He is sure they will notice the flowers and the blood he keeps tasting on his lips any moment. They hesitate though. James’ mouth works around unsaid words before closing and Sirius takes his chance to vanish the flowers and rush to the castle.

He doubts that Peter talked about the letter to any of them which is probably a good thing. The only thing left to say was more apologies that Sirius doubts will be any help. At least he eased Moony’s night, even if it might be the last one. Will James even reach out about their old plan for Sirius to come live at the Potters’? It doesn’t seem like it. Even if it happened, he won’t leave Regulus behind. Alphard is still a Black which will be easier to settle with the papers compared to the Potters. Sirius wants to try this with Regulus.

His brother needs to get out before it’s too late and his plan actually sounds great.

“Been on a night stroll?”

He startles and twists around to catch Barty coming out from behind a tapestry. The door of the Room of Requirement already appeared and he was just about to reach for it.

“Merlin’s pants,” he blurts out. “What are you doing here?”

Barty shrugs and walks up to him. “Breakfast won’t be ready until a moment so I walked around.”

Sirius eyes him before opening the door and closing it behind him. It’s still his exact room so Barty doesn’t seem to be looking for anything specific - otherwise it might have appeared.

“And you decided to come here?”

“Mmh,” he answers unhelpfully and clearly looks at him up and down before grinning with all his teeth. “Where were you?”

“I like to watch the sunrise,” he bites out gruffly and looks for his uniform for the day to change after a quick shower.

Barty doesn’t appear to see through his lie but he is clearly searching for something. He can’t see what even though they have become somewhat friends over the few times they hung out. Contrary to Pandora who is a loose card but still quite within reason, Barty is more keen on going to extreme means and Sirius is weirdly curious about his presence here. He is already in his uniform so he must not plan to come back to his dorm and he even drops down his bag on a chair.

Sirius can’t see why he would be looking for him alone and it’s definitely for school. Barty doesn’t seem to be doing any of his homeworks if Evan doesn’t tell him to do them.

“Is it on your list?”

“The list for what I want to die before I die?” Barty nods at his question. “No, not really.”

“Do you have sex on it?”

His eyes widen but Barty shows nothing; not one of embarrassment or amusement, even more terrifying is how intense he seems to be. Sirius swallows and tries to think through this logically despite how tired this day has been for him.

“You’re– you’re not saying what I think you are?”

Barty smiles and finally the familiar glint in his eyes rear itself to catch his attention. “I’ve been just thinking. You won’t be able to do anything once you are sicker and you’re already in bad shape, aren’t you?”

Emmeline certainly wouldn’t have told them what happened to Sirius during the Quidditch match? She can’t have and he is convinced after observing and listening to them that Barty is the type to play all his cards to see people panic. He certainly knows how to keep secrets and to manipulate but with his friends he doesn’t seem to play as much.

“Thinking about me, were you?” Sirius snarks back with a biting smile on his face.

“Your fate gives me a lot of perspective,” he admits, voice dropping to something more serious. “And I wouldn’t want to die without having one last great sex if I’m honest. I figured it would be a waste for you too.”

“A waste?” He can’t help but laugh. “You’re– I can’t say mad because I see your point but still a bit.”

Barty grins and steps closer with a sweep of his tongue over his lips. “Your first choice isn’t possible, is it? And I doubt you will not cough flowers so whoever you might do it with needs to keep the secret.”

Sirius’ heart hammers. It has to be because of the exhaustion and the rush of the day; nothing about one of his brother’s friends proposing to him with no shame and with eyes clearly begging to see what’s under his clothes. He doesn’t push Barty away, even when they are nose to nose.

“You don’t have a weird thing for Reggie, do you?” Sirius whispers. “Because that would really weird me out.”

Barty snickers and his smile is dangerous but quite pretty. Sirius tries to not think of a scar across slightly darker and more bitten lips but his chest thrums with coughs. A hand softly brushes over his arm and brushes the bottom of his jaw before twirling a strand of his long messy hair. The petals are swallowed.

“No. He is pretty but I would rather play with your hair,” he says with a playful tone.

It’s a horrible idea. Clearly. Barty is nothing like Remus, he won’t manage to shut Sirius’ mouth with a witty retort because only Moony can make his knees wobble and his body desperate to dig a way through his warm skin to live beside his heart forever and ever– but Sirius will never get that.

“I will cough,” he warns. “Tons of flowers and blood maybe.”

“Doesn’t make it less beautiful and it will only get worse if there is no cure,” Barty replies and his free hand takes out a vial from his pocket. “But– I have this.”

Sirius frowns. “What is it?”

“Polyjuice potion. Of the one and only person killing you.”

The flowers hurl and scream in indignation. They will never be fooled and Sirius sees red, grabbing it.

“You’re kidding.”

“I wondered if it might help so I made it in s-”

“Is it the only one?” Sirius snarls with his fingers trembling with a raging strength around it. “Crouch. Tell me you didn’t make a bunch of potions over Remus or I will kill you.”

Barty stares at him and starts to look doubtful, almost sorry. “It’s the only one. But think about it, maybe it will work.”

The potion is thrown into the fireplace with no other question. Sirius keeps a hand over his mouth as he tries to calm himself down. Remus can not know about it. It’s insane that Barty even managed to brew this, a successful one probably, and Sirius feels guilty that it only happened because of him .

“We won't talk about this ever again.”

He is a desperate soul. There have been thorough make-outs with a few girls and even a boy but nothing more than touches and tongues. Sirius wants to live in a lie and the more he thinks about it, the higher on his list is an embrace no matter who it might be. He won’t cheat on this though, not when he destroyed everything that he had with Remus be it only friendship or not.

It doesn’t mean that he won’t picture Remus. Nor that he won’t cry along with all the flowers. Barty thankfully doesn’t mind any of it.

#hp marauders #regulus black #jegulus #marauders #starchaser #sirius black #wolfstar #remus lupin #marauders headcanon #james potter #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #rosekillers #evan rosier #pandora rosier #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #mary mcdonald #marauders era #emmeline vance #peter pettigrew #star brothers #angst with a happy ending #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #myriadparacosm

[sarahrogersevans]

Can you do a short fic of CE and wife reader? like cute stuff, not sure a story line kind of thing but something cute pleasee!? i love the cute stuff.

Love your works!

Taking Care Of You Makes Me Happy- Husband! Chris Evans Wife! xreader fan fic request

Summary: Chris comes home after being away for a month and reader is sick and Chris takes care of them

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of being sick, mentions of feeling nauseous, mentions of a headache, comfort fluff, soft Chris, mentions of medicine, let me know if I miss anything

(Y/N’s POV)

It’s hard when Chris is away so much but it’s especially hard when I get sick because all I wanna do is cuddle up next to my husband and rest but he did tell me last time we talked that he would be home soon thankfully. I sat up to take my temperature and while the thermometer was sitting in my mouth I had Dodger laying by me keeping me company. The thermometer beeped and I looked at what it said and I got a small fever and thankfully it wasn’t high but I still felt like shit so I started to lay down but then I heard the front door open and then close and I heard someone say “babe? I’m home early!” It was Chris, I sighed with relief and I got out of bed and I went out to greet my husband.

I ran to hug Chris and said “Chris I’m so glad you’re home! I missed you baby.” Chris pulled me close and kissed the top of my head and said “hey Y/N I missed you so much, I’m here now.” Chris kissed my forehead and said “hey honey, you’re warm are you ok??” He looked at me worried and I said “I’m not feeling too good today right now.. I had to call off work.” Chris rubbed my back and said “oh honey I’m sorry, why don’t we get you in bed and I’ll make you some soup hmm?” I smiled feeling shy and said “thank you baby that sounds good but aren’t you tired from traveling? I can make it?” Chris shook his head and said “no baby don’t you worry about that I wanna get you all better I can rest later, I’m more worried about my wife right now.”

Chris helped me get back in bed and kissed the top of my head and smiled at me and said “I’ll be right back with your soup and some water ok?” I smiled and said “alright Chris, oh hey babe?..” Chris turned around and said “yea honey? You ok??” I nodded and said “yea I’m ok I just missed you.” Chris came and sat by me hugging me and said “I missed you more honey I’m glad I came home early I didn’t wanna be away any longer, I’ll be right back I promise.” A few minutes later Chris came back in the room with a tray of soup and a cup of water and carefully put the tray by me and Chris came and sat down by me and Dodger and said “I made your favorite, chicken ramen soup and got you some water.” I smiled at him and said “thank you Chris you are so amazing to take care of me even after you traveled home and worked hard.” Chris put his arm around me and said “honey taking care of you makes me happy, I worry about you and wanna make sure my wife feels better I love you.” I hugged Chris and said “I love you more honey.”

Later I was eating my ramen soup and then I felt a bit nauseous after I finished it and I wimpered because my head was hurting from a headache and Chris noticed how I was feeling and said “oh honey here let’s get you some pain killers and make sure to drink your water ok? Gotta stay hydrated bubs.” I nodded and tried drinking water and it helped a bit and Chris got me two pills and I took the pain killers and a few minutes later I started feeling a bit better and I laid my head on Chris’s shoulder and Chris pulled me closer carefully and said “there you go Y/N just relax I’m here now try and rest I’ll be here when you wake up.” I closed my eyes and rested feeling relaxed now that my husband was finally home.

Hey lovey! Here ya go I hope you like it 😊💗💗💗xx

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