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see-arcane · 10 months

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Cards with the Count

Thinking about how Jonathan is trying to pass the time during Vampire Hell Staycation with all the books in the library (a guaranteed Dracula Zone), no stationery (bastard), and a finite amount of secret pen ink and secret diary pages left at his disposal (shit). Reading and writing and art are all out. What’s left?

I like to think, in this order:

1) He remembers that he has a pack of playing cards in the general luggage Dracula didn’t snatch. A gift Lucy had bestowed on him and Mina, a pack apiece, as she insisted that it was the best way to pass an hour in dreary company that wasn’t to do with gossip or politics.

2) He doesn’t normally play, if only because he doesn’t have the coin to meet any real gambling stranger at a table. Just a ‘for fun’ thing.

3) Fuck it. Solitaire. Card towers. It’s something to keep his mind off the…everything.

4) He gets exactly one (1) day/evening of peace with this. Then:

5) “Whatever are you up to, my friend?”

(He didn’t even use the door to give Jonathan time to hide the pack. Misted in. No shadow to give him away. Fantastic.) Jonathan staples his smile back in place and rattles off something apologetic, so sorry, was he keeping the Count waiting? Let him just put this away, he wouldn’t be interested—

6) Smash cut to the library. The cards are now unofficially confiscated/a staple of the Dracula Zone, alongside the fancy crystal chessboard the Count loves to crush him with on a semi-regular basis. Jonathan is walking him through the rules of sundry card games. Unsurprisingly, he latches onto the concept of American poker readily. The game is a soup of similar European predecessors that light up his eyes with recognition—primero, poque, brelan—sewn together with England’s game of brag into a medley of the initial rules, both written and unwritten.

7) “A game of skill, then?”

“Skill, acting, and luck.”

Dracula grins as he produces a ransom of gold coins to use as chips. Jonathan deals.

(What are the extra rules here? Does he throw every hand? Does he play in earnest and inevitably lose anyway? Does it even matter? It isn’t chess, after all. Not a proper strategy game. Cards happen. Guesswork happens. A winner and loser every turn. What does it matter?)

8) Jonathan realizes two dozen hands later that what matters is, apparently, his face. One that, likewise apparently, cannot be read by the Count in this game. Out of those two dozen hands, Jonathan has won eighteen. Of those eighteen, his hand was the clear dud for nine. Through it all, Dracula’s eyes keep jumping from his own hand to Jonathan’s tired gaze. When Jonathan wins the twenty-fifth hand and the mountain of gold on his side of the table risks toppling off the edge, Dracula bites out a word Jonathan is sure is too caustic to have a spot in the lost polyglot dictionary.

9) “You have a gift for schooling your face, my friend.” Every word is an icicle; each as sharp as the canines jutting out of the rictus grin.

“I don’t,” Jonathan says.

And it’s true. Now he’s schooling his face—first lesson of anyone destined for the realm of serving others—but in the game, he’s barely thinking of anything else beyond the ticking of the clock. To punctuate this, he slides the heap of gold back to Dracula’s side of the table.

“This is only a game for the fun of it. In a game with stakes, there would be something worth playing and worrying for. When you get to England,” his face is very, very schooled as he says this, “you’ll find a much more varied competition at gambling tables. The players who really train their expressions can do so with fortunes at stake, while novices reveal every victory or loss plainly on their face.”

10) Dracula considers this. And smiles.

11) “Ah, then there must be stakes before we can play the game properly. Still, you have won the bulk of these rounds, my friend—” his hand seems like it wants to be strangling something when it drums atop the gold heap, “—and done me the charity of not taking your rightful winnings.” He throws down his cards. Ace and deuce of spades. “I shall have to speak with the kitchen about producing a stand-in prize.”

He leaves. Jonathan doesn’t blink when he hears the door lock behind him. A card pyramid is erected.

12) Paprika hendl for supper. As excellent as he remembers. Huzzah.

13) The next time he’s herded into the library, he sees what looks suspiciously like his travel paraphernalia flimsily hidden behind a bit of drapery. Dracula is shuffling the deck.

14) “A true prize on the table this time, my friend. I know you are one to appreciate the splendor of our beautiful country, just as I know it is, for your own safety, quite impossible to go exploring alone in the wild. Too many wolves about. But if you win the majority tonight, I shall see to it that my driver takes a leave from his own many errands to escort you beyond the castle for a time, if you so wish.”

“…And if I lose the majority?” He can’t help it: “I’m sure there’s little from me you’d be interested in.”

Dracula grins.

“We shall think of something, I’m certain. Here. Deal.”

15) As expected, Jonathan’s face isn’t effortlessly unreadable in its misery anymore. He has something to play for, even if his trust in Dracula’s dangling carrot on the stick is nigh nonexistent. He loses more. He struggles more. He worries more…

16) …But the wins and losses remain surprisingly even. On into the dawn they play, matching victory for victory. Even the Count seems puzzled. Jonathan is just tired. He was never going to win. The ‘driver’ will fall to some mysterious ailment, his possessions will disappear the moment he’s sent out of the room ahead of the Count. To Hell with it.

17) “I forfeit. We remain tied, so neither has to lose.” A sour smile curls. “Besides, I have kept you up too late again.”

“One more.”

“We can say you won—,”

Dracula gives him a Look.

Jonathan sits again. Plays again.

Wins again.

Dracula hisses several words the polyglot dictionary would be scandalized to translate. Jonathan feels the first genuine smile he’s wanted to make in a month and a half try to creep up on his lips, and stifles it.

18) Dracula turns over his cards and thumbs though the deck as if looking for a conspirator. He even scowls at Jonathan’s forearms, both bare through the whole game as he’d rolled up his sleeves. Still grumbling, his thumbnail finally hooks a card that makes a cloud pass over his face.

19) “What. Is this?”

Jonathan looks.

“Oh, that’s just a Joker.”

“Joker?”

“Yes, I thought I’d taken him out. He’s not a usable card in this game, but he’s sometimes used as a trump or wild card in others. That is, he’s there to turn the tide for whoever gets to play him.”

Jonathan reaches for the card to tuck it back in the box. Dracula pulls it out of reach, walks to the fireplace, and flicks it into the flames.

“Say what you will, but I recognize a symbol of sabotage when I see it. It should not be in the deck at all!” Still watching the little harlequin turn to cinders, he flaps his other hand at Jonathan. “Go rest, my friend. Take that infernal game with you. It is not a respectable pastime for men of our like.”

20) Jonathan gathers up the deck, gives his travel kit a last mournful look, and leaves for his bedroom, knowing not to ask after the walk in the forest as he goes. In his bed, he empties the deck into his hand again and thinks on four things.

Skill.

Acting.

Luck.

And…

21) He turns the deck’s neglected second Joker over in his fingers, the impish face seeming to hold a secret in its grin.

22) When he wakes next, he isn’t surprised to find the deck has been stolen. It doesn’t trouble him. Somehow, it even produces a tired grin on his face. It nearly matches the painted thing hidden, wild and powerful, in the pages of his journal.

#in which time is passed and you should always consider stray cards in the deck #jonathan harker #dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily #poker #playing cards #joker #my writing

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twistedtummies2 · 3 months

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Top 15 Video Game Villains

Before I get into this list, given the topic, I have to make a very simple and honest confession: I’m really not much of a gamer. I’ve played some games, but not really that many. I’ve honestly WATCHED more games than I’ve actually PLAYED. There’s a lot of reasons why this is, but at the end of the day, the fact is that video games are just one of those forms of media where I’m really not an expert.

With that said, I have a great respect for video games as a medium, and I know a LOT of people are EXTREMELY into them. Video gaming has gone from something of a niche subculture to a MASSIVE market and piece of major pop culture in and of itself, just as generally respected, lauded, and appreciated as movies or television. Games themselves have come a long way: back when they were new, no one really cared about story or character, it was really a matter of just making things fun to play as a pastime. Over time, however, the medium has evolved, and the storytelling and characters in some of the greatest games have become just as important as the actual gameplay involved…which is why I’m able to say that, despite not playing many games, I can still make a list like this in good confidence. See, you don’t need to play something to understand how good a character is…and every game needs an obstacle. Something for the player to overcome. Like any other great story, one needs an antagonist…and sometimes, you need a villain. Many of the villains of video games, like games themselves, have become just as popular as the games themselves, as well as many other great and glorious villains throughout history. Through the ones that have lasted the longest, you can really trace the evolution of gaming itself, and with the ones that are more “one hit wonders,” you can see glimpses of some interesting moments in the grand pantheon of video games. So, despite hardly being an expert on the subject, I felt it was time I give these characters some time in the spotlight. Keep in mind, my opinions will DEFINITELY differ from those of a LOT of other people, simply because I have a different perspective on things. Also, with two exceptions, I’ll only be including one villain per game/franchise. With that said, let’s waste no more time! These are My Top 15 Favorite Video Game Villains!

15. The Phantom Blot & The Mad Doctor, from Epic Mickey.

This is the first exception I mentioned in my preamble. I couldn’t decide which of these two to include, so I just decided to include both. The Epic Mickey games - which were sadly cut short by various behind-the-scenes shenanigans - were Disney’s attempt to bring Mickey Mouse to the forefront in gaming, and to try and find a way to make Mickey “cool” again. The games are sort of a love letter to the Mouse’s long history as a character, as well as to Disney’s history as a whole, and while they are far from perfect, they still have a bit of a cult following, for various reasons. The main antagonists of the first game were these two scoundrels. The Phantom Blot - also known as “The Shadow Blot” or simply “The Blot,” in this specific title - is a character who has had a long history in Disney before this title. In comics and cartoons prior to the game, the Blot was a masked supervillain. In the games, the Blot is reimagined as a ravenous ink monster, who essentially acts as a force of pure destruction, with no apparent purpose but to spread ruin wherever he goes. The Mad Doctor, meanwhile, first appeared in a Mickey cartoon by the same name; in the games, he is a cyborganic mad scientist who started out as a friend to some of the characters, but ultimately revealed his true nature and joined forces with the Blot in a bid to become the greatest villain of all time. While the Blot never returned in any of the sequels, the Mad Doctor did, and the Blot’s impact was still felt even after the beast was defeated. Both were fun twists on classic, somewhat obscure characters, and more people know about them because of these games than anything else. I don’t really think that’s a bad thing.

14. The Crooked Man, from The Wolf Among Us.

This was a title released by Telltale Games, who specialized in games that were interactive “choose your own adventure”-type stories. The player’s choices would determine how the stories went, above all else. In the case of “The Wolf Among Us” - based on the comic series “Fables” - the story was a sort of fantasy and film noir blend, with Sheriff Bigby Wolf (guess who he is) trying to solve a case of mysterious murders in the city of Fabletown, where characters from fairy-tales, folklore, and mythology all live. At the end of this long and twisted case, it’s revealed the mastermind behind it all is this fellow: the Crooked Man. From the moment we start realizing his involvement, the Crooked Man seems like a total and pure nasty…and he is. But here’s the genius of the character: after going through so much to reach him and finally confront him, when the time finally arrives, he isn’t depicted as a dark-hearted monster, but instead a reasonable, intellectual, and EXTREMELY persuasive gentleman. The brilliance of the Crooked Man is that he doesn’t just get into the heads of the other characters in the story, but has the capacity to get into the head of the player, and make them doubt the decisions they are making. You know he can’t be trusted and has to be brought to justice, but he’s very skilled at twisting things around, making every moment tense as you wonder whether you’re making the right choice or not. His demeanor of composed, collected rationality almost never falters, making it feel like he’s in control even when you have the upper hand. In a game all about your choices and their consequences, that’s an EXTREMELY powerful villain to have, and no other main antagonists from other Telltale titles, in my opinion, are quite as effective in THAT regard. He may not be one of the most iconic villains in history, but he’ll always be one I hold in high esteem.

13. The Moon Bear King, from Puppeteer.

All of the other villains after this character are from series or franchise works. There are multiple installments in them, and so there are often many villains to choose from. The same goes with the previous two entries, as well: Epic Mickey had three games to its name, and a sequel to “The Wolf Among Us” is in development as we speak. “Puppeteer” is an oddball, as a result, because it’s a one-and-done deal: it’s not part of a major franchise or series, it’s just one single, lonely title, and it’s not necessarily one that tons of people would know. I doubt you’d be seeing cosplays or highly-viewed videos about this game anywhere of note. However, as far as one hit wonders go, it’s a VERY good game: it’s got a wicked sense of humor, simple and addictive gameplay that still manages to be challenging, and a very unique sense of aesthetic style. It also has a very fun main antagonist: the evil and bombastic Moon Bear King. The King is an evil, gluttonous monster who has taken over the kingdom of the moon. It’s eventually revealed that he was once a humble little teddy bear, who suffered from deep insecurity, and desperately wanted friendship. The Little Bear stole the Black Moonstone, a dangerous artifact, which corrupted his desires and transformed him into the beastly Moon Bear King: a literally power-hungry demon who longs to devour the souls of all of Earth’s children. Aided by his Twelve Generals (all themed around animals from the Chinese Zodiac), the King’s plans are challenged by the hero of the story, Kutaro. The King is one of those wonderful villains who mingles humor, menace, and pathos perfectly: he’s actually EXTREMELY funny, but he’s also extremely nasty, capable of some truly horrifying acts of evil. When you learn the truth of his origins and motivations, he becomes a sympathetic character, which only adds to the layers of his personality. On the one hand, it would have been nice to see more of him, and the world of Puppeteer in general. On the other hand, I think this is one of those games where its singular status is part of what makes it so special. If a sequel or spin-off ever does come out, I shall be curious…but as it stands, the King and his source work are perfectly grand on their own.

12. Kefka Palazzo, from Final Fantasy.

I’ll come right out and admit it, I’m not really super familiar with the Final Fantasy series and a lot of its characters. And that, very frankly, is why Kefka is so low on the list: he’s one of the very few characters from the franchise I do feel I know pretty well, even if I do say so myself. This is good for him in terms of his own merits, but it’s also why I don’t think I can honestly and justly place him higher. With that said, he IS a really fun villain. I know a lot of people praise Sephiroth as the greatest antagonist of the series, and he’s a good villain, too…but in my opinion, Kefka is even more interesting, as well as just a lot of fun. One of my issues with FF, and why I’m not really familiar with it, is that a lot of characters (among those I know) feel very similar, in terms of both personality and design. Kefka, however, is truly a one of a kind figure: he’s a wild, chaotic, childish, brightly colored jester who walks, sounds, and generally behaves in a way that is extremely unique compared to all the rest around him. As far as villainy goes, he’s wonderful in how he’s such a paradoxical character. Kefka is a nihilist of the highest order, who has no purpose in life other than to inflict suffering and death. While he can be manipulative and cunning, there is no end goal beyond just making others feel pain and seeing things perish. On the one hand, this makes him one of the most thoroughly vile figures in the franchise, and in some ways one of the most frightening. But at the same time, there’s a sort of sadness to Kefka: the reason he is so obsessed with destruction is because he literally cannot understand the ideas of love, compassion, or even hope. When others express those concepts, his physically incapable of comprehending them: he sees no meaning in life, because in his mind, there IS nothing but death looming on the horizon. His flamboyant and vibrant facade is exactly that: a sort of armor that hides an overwhelming emptiness, which only making others hurt seems to satisfy in any way. He is funny and frightening, tragic yet despicable, and those kinds of layers always make for fascinating antagonists. He would be MUCH higher if I just knew more about his universe in general.

11. Pagan Min, from Far Cry 4.

I should point out that Far Cry 4 is the only Far Cry game I know especially well, mostly because it’s the only one I’ve actually played. I have not played nor even looked at much from the other games in the series, so I really can’t comment on them. (I say this because I know there are some villains from other installments people might list over Pagan. In my case, he’s really the only one I know well.) Initially, when I was planning this list out, Pagan was a bit further down…but after revisiting FC4, I discovered he was a lot greater than I already recalled. He’s a villain who really works best IN a video game world, as his presence is felt through the gameplay and various other things that can ONLY work in a video game setting. Most of his time in the game is spent on the peripherals, but his impact is felt throughout the whole adventure. He’s also an intriguingly layered sort of villain: Pagan is a tyrant and a psychopath, with a flamboyant sense of style and a very freewheeling, jocular personality. However, as the game goes on, we quickly realize more sides to his personality. Perhaps the most notable is his relationship with the main character, Ajay: he actually LIKES Ajay, and doesn’t really want to kill him, because our protagonist has ties to Pagan’s past. Pagan seems to see Ajay as a sort of surrogate son, but unlike other “father nemeses” in fiction, he never goes down the path of “you may be my son, but I will still kill you because too far gone into evil and so forth.” Instead he just…kind of gets annoyed we’re playing with “naughty children.” Right up to the end, though, he’s jolly and sympathetic with the protagonist, which honestly makes the cruelty he shows towards others all the more unsettling. A lot of this game revolves around the question of loyalty, and of rightful leadership. Pagan Min represents the nightmare of absolute power, but he also represents a sort of strange temptation…and hey, it’s not like the alternative rulers the game presents are any nicer, at the end of the day. :P

10. Skull Face, from Metal Gear Solid V.

Most MGS fans would probably place a villain with longer standing here - such as Liquid Snake, Revolver Ocelot, or possibly Psycho Mantis. And all of them are fun villains, but I am not most fans. Skull Face may only appear in one game (well…technically two games, since MGSV was released effectively in two parts, “Ground Zeroes” and “Phantom Pain”), but that doesn’t negate him placement by any means. This character seems to be one fans are polarized over: depending on where you look and who you ask, he’s either one of the best villains from the series, or one of the worst. As you can imagine, I fall into the former category. Skull Face is an extremely messed up bad guy, with a very depressing past and remarkably twisted motivations. You feel sorry for him in some ways, but in other ways, he’s one of the most utterly reprehensible villains the series puts forth. His demeanor is equally paradoxical: his physical design and some of his mannerisms are rather over-the-top, but there’s a seriousness and a subtlety to him at the same time. He’s kind of everything you want from a villain…and to top it off, he’s the kind of villain who I feel really only works in a video game. (A bit like our previous pick.) See, part of what makes Skull Face so great is that, even when he isn’t onscreen, his presence is felt: what he does in the game affects the player even when they aren’t physically facing him down, and a lot of who he is is presented in things you find hidden throughout the game. It’s these little nuggets of intrigue that make him so fascinating, but even on a superficial level, I think he’s still a pretty great baddy. The only problem with the character I have, and why he doesn’t make the top ten, is that we never really get what I feel is a satisfying conclusion for him: his story ends, make no mistake, an what happens to him isn't WHOLLY disappointing, but I feel like a final boss fight against him would have helped him make even more of an impact. Maybe that’s one of the reasons some people have a problem with him, but for me, it doesn’t ruin him entirely.

9. Jack the Ripper AND Bartholomew Roberts, from Assassin’s Creed.

Here is the other exception I mentioned earlier, and it’s admittedly a somewhat more glaring example. With the Mad Doctor and the Blot, they at least appeared in the same title together, the first Epic Mickey game. Roberts and the Ripper appear in the same franchise, but in two completely different titles and storylines. There are lots of great villains in AC, from historical figures to totally fictional characters, but when trying to decide between my favorites, I knew it would have to be at least one of these two…and after revisiting their respective appearances, I couldn’t decide between them. The issue is that I like both for similar reasons, but also for totally different ones. Both are historical criminals of great infamy, and both are my favorite fictional depictions of those figures. Each is interesting in different ways, and also despicable in different ways. Roberts is one of the main antagonists of the game “Black Flag,” and is a prominent figure throughout the story, with a big impact on things that happen. He’s also a unique villain in that he is neither an Assassin nor a Templar, but a Sage; someone caught in-between the two feuding factions. Roberts also starts out as a sympathetic character, and even becomes an ally, before eventually showing his colors as an antagonist. In the Ripper’s case, he’s only the villain for a DLC package, which is optional; it doesn’t really affect the story of the main game for his title, “Syndicate,” if you play it or not. So in that regard, Roberts has him beat. However, Jack’s setup - as a former Assassin turned rogue - gives him a similarly unique status in the universe of the games. Plus, gameplay-wise, Jack is much more fascinating; first of all, you actually get to PLAY as the Ripper throughout the DLC. Second of all, his boss fight is probably one of the best bosses in the whole series. The battle with Roberts is nothing to scoff at either, but it’s comparatively much more standard; it’s great in its historical accuracy and grandiose nature. Between the two, I found the pros and cons of each evened out; I kept going back and forth on who really earned the spot. So, end of the day, I decided to just let both of these dastardly gentlemen have it.

8. Flowey/Asriel Dreemurr, from Undertale.

So, talking about this character/these characters means delivering MAJOR spoilers, just to warn everyone. However, since Undertale is such a big deal at this point, and since it’s now been ALMOST A DECADE since it came out? I think it’s okay for me to speak candidly about the subject. In “Undertale,” your main character - whose name is eventually revealed to be Frisk - winds up in a mysterious world populated by monsters. The game subverts the trope of RPG titles, where you boost your powers and abilities by slaying beasts in random encounters; you absolutely can slaughter every monster in sight, if you WANT to, but if you do that…well…“you’re gonna have a bad time,” as the game says. Most of the “enemies” you encounter in the game are actually friendly, or simply acting on a sort of misunderstanding, or otherwise able to be reasoned with. There is, however, one exception: throughout the game, in all of its different paths, you are plagued by a mysterious, talking sunflower simply known as “Flowey.” Flowey is a sadistic monster who revels in death and quite literally hungers for power. It’s eventually revealed, if you take the “True Pacifist” route - which is typically regarded as the “True Ending” of the game - that Flowey is the reincarnation (or something like it) of this character: Asriel Dreemurr, the long-dead prince of this underground world. Eventually, his true form is revealed, which leads to an epic final boss. (Though, to be fair, Flowey’s own boss, found in other routes, is pretty crazy, too.) Along with it comes his backstory, which is…really quite gut-wrenching. Asriel is both one of the most dangerous enemies you face, if not THE most dangerous, and yet also arguably the single most tragic character in the entire game. There’s not enough time and space for me to go into everything about him, but suffice it to say, when you learn why he is the way he is - both as Flowey and as himself - it’s honestly pretty heartbreaking. He’s the only character who one could argue doesn’t get a happy ending, in the True Pacifist route, and yet he’s also the character who you wish could have one the most, despite all the terrible things he does by the end of the story. Between both his true form and his appearance as the demented Flowey, he manages to kind of be everything you could want out of a villain: he’s powerful, menacing, rather creepy, and yet also shockingly sympathetic. If any villain on this list most exemplifies the idea of “sympathy for the devil,” it’s probably Asriel.

7. GLaDOS, from Portal.

This evil AI is another rather paradoxical villain. Most versions of the “Evil AI” concept - whether it be an out-of-control robot, or a computer program gone mad, depict the AI in question as somewhat morally ambiguous. They typically are just trying to carry out their programming, or see themselves in the right and humans in the wrong, seeing people as flawed and themselves as perfect. There’s a coldness, a detached-ness, to such creations, typically speaking; they aren’t necessarily EVIL, they’ve just gone to an extreme measure. GLaDOS, however, is different: she IS evil, plain and simple, and it’s not entirely clear why. She is openly sadistic, cruel, and murderous, and uses her power and presence to manipulate others in various ways. GLaDOS actually has a conscience, unlike most characters of this sort, but she deliberately ignores it, and her personality and desires go well beyond simply furthering science as she claims to do. What’s fascinating about GLaDOS, however, are the complex emotions that arise between her and the player’s main character, Chell. On the one hand, the two are arch-nemeses, but on the other hand, the two are almost friends. GLaDOS yearns to kill Chell in the first game, but Chell also relies on her a lot in both Portal games. GLaDOS is cynically sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and bitter towards Chell, in lots of ways and for lots of reasons, yet she also admits to thinking of Chell as “her best friend.” Indeed, GLaDOS seems pretty pissed at the player during the final boss in the first game, and after her defeat when we meet her in the second game, but not in a “How dare you, mere peon!” way so much as a feeling of bizarre, genuine betrayal. It’s the twisted emotions of GLaDOS, and her unique nature among other characters within her own archetype, that makes her so intriguing. She is, once again, a villain who melds so many different layers - humor, horror, and surprising empathy (if not necessarily sympathy) - making for a well-rounded and memorable antagonist.

6. Xehanort, from Kingdom Hearts.

“Kingdom Hearts” is one of my two favorite video game franchises (we’ll get to the other of those two soon), so it seemed only fair I place the main antagonist of the entire series high up. I nearly gave him a spot in the Top 5, but...well...when you see who DID take the number five slot, you'll understand. In some ways, having said that, I think Xehanort is one of the most underrated video game villains: despite the popularity and success of the KH series, I rarely hear Xehanort’s name mentioned when people bring up famous video game baddies, and I also don’t typically see much cosplay of him or anything like that. For me, though, he’s definitely one of the greats, and also one of the single most persistent buggers. It would take FOREVER to describe EVERYTHING that goes on with this guy, because, essentially, describing Xehanort’s story and setup in any meaningful way would mean going into the lore of the entire KH franchise, and…yeah, we’re not doing that here, if ever. XD For now, suffice it to say he’s a marvelous villain in how he permeates the whole franchise: everything that goes wrong in the heroes’ lives is either directly or indirectly thanks to Xehanort’s meddling, and with multiple different forms of himself - from Xemnas to “Terra-Nort” to the Seeker of Darkness - you can’t turn a corner without running into some version of this guy causing trouble somewhere. His motivations and character archetype ride a fine line between mad scientist and dark wizard, and despite causing all sorts of havoc across many different worlds…when his story comes to an end, you do sort of feel sorry to see him go. It’s been indicated Xehanort’s ultimate defeat may not be the end to KH as a whole, so time will tell what other villains could come in the future. And who knows? Considering how many times this character and his many forms have cheated death before, maybe we still haven’t seen the last of him…

5. Dr. Eggman, from Sonic the Hedgehog.

I’ve only actually played one Sonic game, that being “Sonic Unleashed.” (Apparently, that game is sort of a polarized one among fans.) However, I have looked at things from other games, as well as come to understand the franchise through its other outlets, such as television and movies. So while Sonic isn’t necessarily a universe I’m a pure-blooded expert on, I know a lot more about it than, say, Final Fantasy. One thing that’s consistent in every version, in my opinion, is this: Dr. Robotnik, also known as Dr. Eggman, is ALWAYS my favorite character. Eggman is one of the most iconic of all video game villains, perhaps second only to Bowser from Nintendo’s core lineup. He is the quintessential mad scientist: a greedy, ambitious lunatic and robotics expert who seeks to, of course, take over the world. If only he could just smash, shoot, or otherwise scuttle that annoying hedgehog who keeps ruining his dastardly schemes! Eggman is one of the most versatile villains in gaming, I would say, as well; different depictions of him throughout the Sonic franchise have handled the kind of villain he is in different ways. Some takes on Eggman are honestly VERY scary, making him a truly threatening and grotesque villain with no redeeming values whatsoever. Others make him into a clown, a sort of roly-poly goofball who isn’t really a threat so much as a persistent nuisance. My favorite ones, however, blend a bit of both; making Robotnik a character who can be funny, and perhaps even sympathetic, but is nevertheless totally capable of committing absolute atrocities. I always love villains who have that kind of multi-layered aspect to their personality, being empathetic and entertaining while also still able to pose a decent threat and act as a true obstacle to the hero. If there’s one thing that Eggman is consistently shown to be in every depiction, it’s determined; some might even say stubborn. No matter how many of his machines get ruined, no matter how many plans for global domination are foiled, he always comes back ready for more. He’s basically the Wile E. Coyote of video games: forever chasing a super-speedy foe, but seemingly destined to always come second place. Sometimes, that simple formula is all it takes to make a character fun.

4. Count Dracula, from Castlevania.

Alongside Kingdom Hearts, “Castlevania” is one of my two favorite video game franchises, and…to be honest, one of the single biggest reasons why is this guy. The Castlevania series started out as a tribute to classic horror and monster movies, featuring various references to both Universal Monsters and Hammer Horror. While it hasn’t abandoned those roots completely, over time, it’s become more and more its own thing, and most of the really famous classic monster figures - such as Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon - while certainly persistent figures throughout the franchise, have always sort of remained background figures. The one great exception is the king of the monsters: the Prince of Darkness, the Lord of the Vampires, the Count of Transylvania…the One and Only Dracula. Castlevania’s Dracula may not have the automatic recognizability of some film versions, but over time, he has become more and more iconic, as he is the main antagonist of the whole franchise. And considering the franchise has been around since the 1980s, and has not only had multiple games under its belt but two very successful animated series adaptations, it’s not hard to understand why. Even when Dracula isn’t the final boss or main antagonist of a specific game, he’s always present in some form or another, and the different paths the franchise has gone down have evolved this villainous vampire in all sorts of ways. He’s gone from a pretty straightforward villain, to a sympathetic and tragic antagonist, to even getting to be a protagonistic anti-hero figure. And with every interpretation, he is always interesting and intimidating. He’s easily one of my favorite interpretations of Bram Stoker’s greatest creation, and has earned every ounce of respect as one of video gaming’s most classic adversaries: he’s just as immortal in those ranks as anywhere else.

3. Bowser, from Mario Bros.

Well, you can’t have a good list of video game villains and not at least mention this guy. As I said before, alongside Dr. Eggman, Bowser - the King Koopa himself - is quite possibly the single most iconic antagonist in video gaming history. Heck, whenever people bring up video games in general, the Mario Bros. series is probably one of the first examples to come to mind. Just as Robotnik will never seem to give up chasing Sonic, Bowser is thoroughly unceasing in his desire to abduct and wed the beautiful Princess Peach. No matter how often she spurns his advances, he always comes back to try a new plan to conquer the world and gain her hand in marriage…and every time he does, Mario is there to stop him, along with Luigi, Yoshi, Toad, and all the rest of the plumber’s playmates. Also, much like Eggman, Bowser is as versatile as he is iconic: some versions of the character depict him as a genuinely monstrous threat that needs to be beaten, others show him as more of a buffoon who tends to be more annoying than truly dangerous. Once again, like Dr. Robotnik, I like Bowser best when he’s somewhere in the middle: able to be funny and perhaps even sympathetic, but also still being a genuine menace and a villain to be reckoned with. What boosts Bowser above Eggman is primarily that I know and understand the Mario universe better than the Sonic universe, and I have a slightly bigger attachment to Bowser as a result. (Plus, I…sort of have a crush on him, I’ll confess. I can’t help it, he’s a big, burly, man-eating monster with a deep, powerful voice, I’M WEAK. >///> )

2. Carmen Sandiego.

You won’t find Carmen on a lot of other people’s video game villains lists, admittedly not without good reason, but there was never any doubt in my mind she’d rank highly here. If you only know this character through the Netflix television series, and its spin-offs, then you’re probably confused: in that version, Carmen is the main protagonist, and was depicted as a sort of misunderstood heroine. She’s akin to Arsene Lupin or The Saint: using crime to battle crime. That is NOT the original interpretation of Carmen Sandiego: Carmen had a loooong history before the Netflix reboot, and it started with a series of computer and console games, where she was the main antagonist. The games were “edutainment” packages: meant to offer educational value as well as entertainment. They were primarily focused on teaching children social studies, like Geography and History (although some other fields got covered, too, such as Math and English). I grew up playing a LOT of “edutainment” games (my mother was, and still is, a schoolteacher), and most of them were kind of “eh.” But the one series I absolutely loved, and STILL love, was Carmen Sandiego. The premise of the games had Carmen as the World’s Greatest Thief: the leader of a secret cabal of robbers and spies known as VILE, who sought to plunder the world’s greatest treasures. Everything from the Statue of Liberty, to Elvis’ Pink Cadillac, to the Mona Lisa…Carmen and her cohorts would steal everything rare or one-of-a-kind under the Sun, no matter how implausible the crime seemed. Throughout the franchise, Carmen was consistently depicted as a glamorous and mysterious character, a sort of teasing incentive: we wanted to capture this illusive, fascinating, shadowy woman in her fine red outfit, and the urge to know what it would be like to go toe-to-toe with her directly kept people playing. As time went on, Carmen’s character was developed further, giving her a more morally ambiguous personality, and a backstory that was both revealing…and yet still full of tantalizing holes. You never really knew why Carmen did what she did, or what she would do next, or where she could pop up. It was the eternal mystery of the character that made her so interesting. While her career has had ups and downs, she’s never really gone away, and while I do like the Netflix version and its more heroic depiction of her…I will always prefer the Classic Carmen, and all her villainous ways. The thrill of the chase she provided always made learning fun.

1. Joker, from Batman: Arkham.

As I think I’ve said before in the past, the Joker is quite possibly my favorite villain of all time. And as I ALSO think I’ve said before, Mark Hamill’s take on the character is my favorite version of the same. So it stands to reason, just by that logic alone, that the Batman: Arkham series would have my favorite villain in video games, since it features Hamill playing my favorite baddy, and it’s arguably his greatest work with the character aside from the DCAU. (Oh, and Troy Baker also took the reins a couple of times; he’s freaking awesome, too.) While the Joker was not the main antagonist of every single game in the franchise, he was always - as the character ever is - a persistent and impactful thorn in the Dark Knight’s side. The series focused a lot on the twisted, strange relationship between these two arch-enemies, and their seemingly eternal duel with each other was what drove much of the plot in each game, and provided many of the most interesting moments. Even after dying in-universe, officially, the Clown Prince of Crime would continue to plague the Caped Crusader from beyond the grave. You can really see the whole series, overall, as an exploration of the rivalry between these two characters, from where it started to how it ended. Other villains came and went, and were portrayed in a variety of ways - some better than others - but the Joker was consistently present, and consistently well-handled, making for not only one of the best versions of the comic book creep that’s ever been, but one of the most iconic and lauded villains in video game history. He is part of the reason the Arkham games were a success, as much as any of the gameplay and atmospheric elements, and there is so much you could analyze or say about the character - both onscreen and behind the scenes - to explain why. It’s therefore no surprise at all that he takes the cake as My Favorite Video Game Villain.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Albert Wesker, from Resident Evil. (I just don’t know a ton about these games or this character, so despite his iconography, it didn’t feel fair to place him in the ranks.)

SEVERAL Villains from American McGee’s Alice. (The Queen of Hearts, the Mad Hatter, and the Dollmaker from “Madness Returns”, in particular. All are great villains, but when I really looked at things, I felt other characters earned it more, and I felt like three villains at once would have been MAJOR cheating.)

Doc Ock, from the PS4 Spider-Man Game. (Wasn’t sure how else to credit that title. Also, I haven't played the sequel yet, but I hear Kraven the Hunter there is AWESOME.)

Ganon, from The Legend of Zelda. (Same issue as Wesker.)

Gruntilda, from Banjo-Kazooie. (Very nearly made the list, but I just have a bigger fondness for Epic Mickey.)

Rollo Flamme AND Fellow Honest, from Twisted Wonderland. (Oh, you all know I couldn’t ignore this one. These two are the most antagonistic characters so far, one could argue, as we really haven’t seen them become protagonists - at least not yet - and they do arguably the most reprehensible things of any character in the game. However, because of the way this whole game works, not sure if they really count enough to make the list.)

Shao Kahn, from Mortal Kombat. (Same issue as Gruntilda.)

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