#expecting myself to be here for everyone about everything as if it doesn’t touch me

[luveline]

Hiii!! Could I request a bombshell reader x Spencer where someone (a local police maybe) says something rude to her about her appearance or something and normally it doesn’t really get to her, but something snaps and she kinda shuts down/is rude to Spencer until he coaxes it out of her? Sorry it’s long I had an idea and ran w it loollll

ty for requesting angel! confident fem!reader, 1k

Spencer shouldn’t expect his colleague to hold his hand, especially one so confident. What sense would that make, a woman as established as you are, who smiles without a lick of worry nor smugness, wanting to hold his hand? 

But you do it all the time, is the thing. In the car on the way to crime scenes, in the hallways of the office, under the round table. It started as a tethering for his distractedness, when one day he’d wanted to talk but hadn’t had the presence of mind to walk at the same time, so you’d taken his hand and led him to the office. You’ve been taking it at your discretion ever since.  

Spencer knows something is wrong —you haven’t tried to hold his hand all day. And even if you aren’t interested in him romantically, Spencer has come to crave the touch. He’ll accept platonic hand holding. Anything, really. 

“You’re staring very deeply, Dr. Reid,” you mutter, shades from your usual lightness. 

“I’m thinking.” 

“Aren’t you always?” 

“About you.”

“Well,” you smile fleetingly. “You should always be thinking about me.” 

“You’re truly humble.” 

His joke doesn’t land, it crashes and burns; your smile fades completely into a short, sharp line. Your gaze moves back into the restaurant, waiting for the team's food order in silence once again. 

Spencer’s pinky finger twitches across the gap. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks. 

“Fine.” 

You stay quiet, Spencer worries. He takes the bags before you can when they bring your food to the collection desk, two lumps of heat he holds to his thighs as you begin the walk back to the hotel. Tonight, the team will pick at their food together and rehash the same arguments they’ve been making all day, filling in each other's gaps, and tomorrow the work will start again. He can’t have you this unhappy again tomorrow. 

“You’re amazing,” he says, watching you turn to him from the corner of his eye, “you know you are, we all do, everyone who meets you. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, or to feel better, but… I’m here for you. If you want to talk. It’s been a hard couple of days, and talking about traumatic events as they happen and directly afterward make them easier to recover from.” 

“I’m not traumatised.” 

“Upsetting,” he corrects. “Having a shoulder to cry on is good for you, and I can be that shoulder. You know, if you need me to be.” 

He can’t know this in the moment, though maybe one day you’ll tell him, further down the line when the hand holding is better defined, but you look at him and you love him. To know Spencer is to love him. Or at least that’s how you’ve always felt. You’d love to cry on his shoulder about what transpired that morning if it weren’t embarrassing to think about, you’re upset over a throwaway comment made by nobody important. 

Spencer offers his company earnestly. He stammers. It’s amazingly sincere, as he usually is. He won’t mind if it’s embarrassing, he’ll just listen. 

You clear your throat. “I know I’m not to everyone’s taste. I know that the way I… present myself isn’t what most men like. People love confidence, but not when it’s bossy, not when it’s– when it’s vain. And I am vain. I think about my appearance a lot, I think I’m beautiful most of the time, I try so hard to have that be true.” You eye him thoughtfully. “Do you realise that?” 

He shakes his head gently, one ear toward one shoulder and then the other, as though balancing. “Sort of. I know you put effort into your appearance, but I also assume a lot of it to be natural.” 

“Right, well. It’s not natural. Not really. My natural beauty wouldn’t be all the beautiful to most people. And I’ve accepted that, I know what I like about myself, and–” You’re losing the thread of your point, an upset creeping into your melodic tone and turning it ragged. “When people tell me they don’t like how I look now, I guess it hurts because I know they wouldn’t like me before, either, and I feel defeated because I know I can’t win.” 

“Who said they don’t like how you look?” Spencer asks, confused, on his way to annoyed. 

“Officer Friendly.” You look to your shoes, watching the steps you take. “Guess he wasn’t as nice as we thought.” 

“What did he say to you?” 

You shrug. “Same story. He doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. Doesn’t like uppity women.” 

“Did he call you that?” 

“What are you gonna do if he did?” you ask without malice. 

“Morgan’s teaching me self defence for a reason.” You smile at his light joke, though it doesn’t last. He transfers the takeout bags into one hand, the other held out to you, his fingers sliding down your arm to your wrist. “You know you’re beautiful, with or without makeup. And you’re not uppity, you’re out of his league. There’s a difference.” 

“You’re flirting with me.” 

“No.” He wishes he had the wherewithal sometimes, but this isn’t flirting. “I’m being honest with you. Men like that don’t like you because they know they’ll never, ever have you, or anyone like you. There isn’t anyone like you,” he adds, sliding his hand into yours. 

He squeezes all your fingers together twice in quick succession. 

“Don’t let a jealous chauvinist halfwit make you think you’re not good enough,” he says. 

You curl your fingers around his before he can take his hand back. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. Then, smiling, you let him go. 

“I’ve never heard you say something mean like that,” you say. “Halfwit. That’s crass.” 

“I was going to say he’s an asshole, if that’s better.” 

Your laugh echoes off of the sidewalk. “That’s perfect. Say something meaner.” 

The insult he uses next doesn’t bear repeating. 

#spencer and bombshell reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

[inner-viper]

20 Channeled Messages From Your FS

Hello, it is Inner Viper! I love channeling these messages, some are oddly specific and they are very sweet. I am currently in the middle of planning a very long reading for you guys! I’m thankful for your support for my blog. I created this blog for fun and for people to smile more, I really hope that people can smile more. I am not going to lie, sometimes channeling can be overwhelming for me but this blog has helped me improve in my overall abilities. I even unlocked some new abilities so thanks, everyone! 

If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.

Remember to choose the image that is calling out to you. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a general pac reading. Some messages are not meant for you, while other messages aren’t meant for you. Also, this is meant to give you insight, not concrete evidence.

I hope you enjoy the reading for today!

TW: Mentions of body dysmorphia, abuse, and slightly suggestive content

»»————-　♡　————-«« 

Pile 1

“Hey, come closer so I can kiss you. My day always starts well with you at my side”

“Stay with me forever, I promise to take care of you”

“Don’t deny me, you know you like what you see ;)” (They winking here lol)

“Don’t think you can run away, I finally have you all to myself. You won’t be prepared for what I have planned for”

“Fuck, I wish you were right here. It’s boring without you here right now”

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I also got something for you”

“You have stolen my heart, if eros were here then he has struck me to be in love with you even more than before” 

“I love you for who you are, I want to be like you” 

“Hello? Hello? HELLO? GIVE ME ATTENTION, I’M BORED! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW”

“Stop, let’s go over here.. Hehe you didn’t expect that right!” (They kissed you but also I leave it up to the imagination since this is GENERAL pac lol) 

“Let’s go to Japan, I want to see the cheery blossoms with you. To take a picture of you underneath the petals following. I’ll cherish that picture for the rest of my life”

“Wanna go out tonight? Good thing you said yes because I have already made reservations for us to spend some time alone”

“Hey, do you think you can kiss me? Kiss me now!”

“The warmth I feel near you, the way I am at peace with you, yet my heart still races with you at my side”

“You always make me feel horny, I love everything you do!”

“What’s wrong? Hey, don’t worry. I love you forever and always. You can always rely on me”

“I will patiently wait for you, my heart can’t bare to lose you”

“You are always helping others, why can’t you stop helping? You should chill and let others help, ugh you have such a big heart and that’s why I love you”

“When I see you sitting there passionately drawing, I wonder how it feels to see the world from your lens. The way you think and the words you say amaze me”

“Let me touch you, let me be the one to hold you, let me be the one to always be there for you, will you give me the honor?”

This person is very sweet and romantic. Love these messages I channeled for you pile 1. Honestly, my heart was feeling warm too, there will be so many precious moments with your FS every day. 

Pile 2 

“Each day is a beautiful day with you, the joy that you bring me is like no other. I can’t put my feelings into words”

“I want to give you strawberries with chocolates, are you being seduced by me now?”

“What is this strange feeling.. I feel like I am on drugs when I am near you. You drive me crazy in the best way possible”

“See! I told you that you would like fine wearing this! Baby, you are gorgeous!” (Maybe you are insecure about yourself? Body dysmorphia? )

“At the end of the rainbow, there is a pot filled with gold, they say that the gems are precious and that the leprechauns hide them away. You are my gold, I am like the leprechaun. I want to keep you with me forever and away from people that might try to steal you away from me!”

“I can create so many things, you inspired a different style in me. Artistic style, yeah this artistic expression of the love that I feel for you. Divine love baby” (Aw, I heard this one strongly)

“Our love doesn’t stop at death, it is eternal. My love knows no bounds with you!”

“I used to believe that I won’t be able to find the one, I often times pondered if you were even out there. I wondered if you thought about me while staring at the moon. I am glad to have found you”

“I finally found you in this sea of fishes. The ocean is far too vast yet I will still go looking for you”

“I love making you smile, you always make me smile. Can you promise to laugh with me?”

“You are the only one that I’ll let inside my heart, no one else is allowed except for you”

“The world was dull, ever since you came into my life. You have brought a fresh perspective that I needed to see. I couldn’t have seen it without you here”

“I want to overstimulate you”

“Follow my lead, I won’t leave you behind. I’ll always protect you until the end of my life”

“Roses are red, and your face is red”

“You are safe with me, you are my safe space”

“I feel like I can just be me when I am with you”

“Let's show our love to the world baby”

“My heart beats so fast around you, I worry that you may be able to hear it”

“I went through so much in my life, you are the only person I feel safe with. I struggle with vulnerability but you make me feel better”

This person went through a lot! I’m sorry for this pile’s FS because I feel they went through some abuse and they have a hard time expressing emotions. They are going to heal with you when you meet them! They are opening up to people slowly though!

Pile 3

“I wonder how many days till you notice how much I love you and care for you”

“I love watching you sleep, your resting face is beautiful”

“You are beautiful in every moment, I want to capture your essence”

“Dear god I love you so fucking much”

“I just want to dance with you, lets dance until the night”

“Let go of the fear of not being enough”

“I have given you all of me and now you’ll give yourself to me! Submit to me because I am Daddy”

“I love the way that you praise me, give me more compliments! You have no idea what it does to me”

“I am honored to be the one to cherish you, to be the one to hold you dearly, thank you for giving me the honor”

“We may have not been there for each other first half of our lives but that doesn’t mean we can’t create memories or form a close bond. We have the rest of our lives, let’s take each day to create something new”

“Oh god, I am a late bloomer. I haven’t had my first love until you, I mean I dated a couple of people but I never loved them. You are the first and last love of my life and I promise to commit to that”

“People often tell me how I got into a relationship with you, you are so fine! I don’t have much of an answer because you are just the one. I never believed in finding the one until I met you. Ok, maybe I am lying because I am a hopeless romantic”

“Ah, you like my sweet words don’t you love?”

“Let’s look at the stars tonight, I will be staring at you all night because you are my light. You are my star in this world”

“You are my best friend and you are my lover”

“The angels are around us because you are an angel! You were sent from the heavens down onto earth!”

“You are nothing like me! You are so different and I never met anyone like you before”

“I want to scream your name tonight, come on you will be screaming my name tonight as well”

“I look at you from afar and I can tell that it is you because no one is as beautiful and as bright as you are”

“I love your laughter, your hair, your eyes, everything about you is so fine”

This pile’s FS is very sweet and romantic! They view you as their best friend and they love everything about you. They think that you have so much to offer for this world, they are intoxicated by you. Also, I think for this pile you may be their first love and for some their first everything! It’s so cute <3

»»————-　♡　————-«« Thank you for reading! If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.

#pac #tarot #hellenic pagan #pagan witch #pick a card #witchcraft #paganism #pick a pile #tarot cards #tarot pick a card #daily tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #divination #fs pac #pac future spouse #pac tarot #pac reading

[blossombriefs]

Chateau | NSFW Vegeta OneShot [18+]

AN: I honestly couldn’t help myself. I had to write about my favourite DB boi. I’ve been planning one for a little while so I hope you all enjoy it! Summary: The gang all go on vacation together after the events of the Buu saga, however, there is more on Vegeta's mind than meets the eye. Title namesake: 'Chateau' by Blackbear Content: Sexual and mature content. Vegeta and Bulma are not together and Trunks doesn’t exist. The reader is related to Chi-Chi. Praise kink. Oral sex. Teasing. Mentions of a breeding kink. Vegeta is a cocky mf, I kinda made him a lil down bad during the confession. Word count: 2.7K

After taking on Majin Buu, the gang all decided it was time to take a huge vacation together before trying to find some normality. Mr Satan had booked and paid for everyone to go to a beachfront villa. Your sister Chi-Chi had invited you along with her family; her husband Goku and their two kids. You packed your suitcase with everything you'd need; bikinis, sunscreen, water bottles, towels. You were ready to spend time with your friends and loved ones.

On arrival, everyone seemed over the moon to be there, all apart from one. Sulking behind the group carrying his bags was Vegeta. You couldn’t help but notice the tension that was radiating from the proud prince. Determined to lift his spirits, you hung behind the group and approached him with a warm smile.

“Hey Vegeta,” you greeted him. Out of genuine concern and with a tilt of your head, you continued “What’s the matter?”

“Oh great, Kakarot’s insufferable bride’s equally as insufferable sister.” He said with an eye roll. When he glanced at you, you clocked his expression softening slightly. He grumbled, “It’s nothing that concerns you, woman,”

Refusing to be thrown off by his brash tone, you persisted. “Come on, Vegeta, we’re all here to relax and have fun.”

He hesitated for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by your display of persistence. After a heavy sigh, he muttered, “Fine. I suppose you’re right. But I don’t see the point in all this frivolity.”

You placed a gentle hand on his arm, feeling the tension in his muscles ease ever so slightly at the touch. “Sometimes we all just need a break from the chaos, the training, the battles. Let’s just make the most of this time together.”

Vegeta glanced down at your hand on his arm, accidentally letting his expression softed further. He didn't pull away, instead, he found himself oddly comforted by your touch.

"Fine," he muttered, this time with a little less hostility. "But don't expect me to participate in any ridiculous beach games or play happy families with Kakarot's kids."

You chuckled, a sound that caught Vegeta and even yourself a little off guard. "Fair enough. Just promise me you'll try to enjoy yourself, even if it's just a little bit."

Vegeta's response was a grunt, but there was a flicker of acceptance in his eye. With that, you two joined up with everyone in the villa. It was a gorgeous place to call home for a few weeks. The wooden walls and wall-height glass windows overlooked the sea and the beach. Chi-Chi ran through the room plans. Goku and her, of course, took the biggest bedroom in the villa. Gohan and Videl were downstairs in another large bedroom. Goten had his own room near his parents which was the smallest. You were in your own room in the back corner of the uppermost floor next door to Vegeta's room. You leaned down to pick up your bags to start heading upstairs however were met with a shoulder nudging you out of the way. You looked over to see Vegeta leading the way. "Let me get these."

Days passed by in a blur of sunshine, laughter and relaxation. You spent time relaxing with your sister and niece-in-law on the beach while Goku, Gohan and Goten played in the roaring, crisp waves. Gradually, you even saw Vegeta come around to the idea of a vacation. He maintained his aloof demeanour, often preferring solitary walks on the beach or continuing to train behind everyone's backs in the villa's gym. However, there were a few moments when you caught him watching everyone with a hint of longing in his eyes. On this particular occasion, you heard the sliding door click open from the villa. You turned around to see him sporting just a dark blue pair of swimming shorts and a pair of black flip-flops. You hoped your sunglasses hid your eyes as you found yourself drawn to his perfectly chiselled body, toned legs and muscular arms. Sweat dripped down him in the blistering sun as it was clear he had finished another gym session. You let out a flustered sigh as he stretched, looking out in Goku's direction as he made his way down the beach.

"Y/N!" you heard a screech from beside you. You turned your head as your eyes met Chi-Chi's. She held a glare but quickly started to laugh hysterically.

"W-what!?" you responded, shuffling back awkwardly on your towel.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she answered, "Older sister's intuition tells me that you're eyeing up Vegeta!"

"I am not!" you argued back. Chi-Chi only persisted in making a mockery of you. You rolled your eyes as you tried to play off your sister's teasing, but deep down, you couldn't deny the truth behind her words. There was something about Vegeta that drew you in, something beyond his tough exterior and gruff demeanour. You wanted to break that hard exterior.

As the days passed you found yourself spending more and more time with Vegeta. You started accompanying him to the gym or on his beachside walks. You both were simply enjoying each other's company in the villa. Despite his initial reluctance, he seemed to appreciate having someone to confide in, someone he could talk to about the heavy weight of his past and the struggles that he had faced.

On the sixth night of the vacation, the two of you found yourselves sitting side by side on the beach once again, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon in a blaze of fiery tones that reflected off the clear waters below. The gentle sound of the waves filled the air, a soothing backdrop to the tension that crackled between you.

You sat flushed to one another, you accepted in your head that you didn't think Vegeta would want to be any closer. His eyes fixated forward as you broke the silence, "It's beautiful isn't it."

Vegeta tore his gaze away from the horizon, turning to look at you with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. "Yes, you could say that... but I don't think it's the most beautiful thing on this beach."

You tilted your head, blinking a little in surprise. You felt your heart skip a beat, "Vegeta..."

He reached out his hand to brush against yours in a tentative gesture. "You know I'm not good with emotions, woman. I've been trying to deny it, push anything I feel aside," he confessed, his voice rough with emotions. "But I feel like I have to be honest with you. I don't find you annoying. I-"

Your breath caught in the back of your throat at his confession, your mind reeling with a whirlwind of emotions. You hadn't dared entertain the idea that Vegeta could ever feel the same way that you did. His vulnerability lit a fire in your chest, he lay his heart bare before you. Without hesitation, you leaned in closer as your lips met his. A spark ignited between the pair of you. He didn't deny your kiss, gripping your wrist as his lips matched yours. When you eventually pulled back, you were breathless and craved more. In the moment all you could see was Vegeta and all Vegeta could see was you. Nothing else mattered except the two of you embracing under the starlit sky. The world was slowly drawn into focus, and the sounds of the ocean crashing against the shore filled the air. You gazed deeply into Vegeta's eyes, seeing his vulnerability there took your breath away.

"I didn't expect this," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Me neither," you confessed as a smile tugged the corners of your lips. You let your fingers trace his knuckles as you looked up and into his dark eyes, "I want you Vegeta."

He nodded as he leaned in, again claiming your lips as his. His hand sat comfortably on the side of your neck, his fingers tracing your jaw as he slipped his tongue gently into your mouth. You moaned softly, again matching his movements as your tongue swirled against his. Your hands raced through his dark hair, tugging it with your fingers as his moans matched yours. As he pulled away again, you fluttered your lashes with an innocent smile, "My room or yours?"

Without hesitation, Vegeta gripped your hand tightly as he marched back into the villa past everyone in the living room who were gathered to watch TV over dinner. Chi-Chi shot you a glance with a wink accompanying it and you could hear Goku question it as you reached the top of the stairs. "What was that about Chi-Chi?"

Vegeta shoved the door to his room open with his free hand, instantly closing it over once you were inside as he forced you against it. His warm breath greets your neck followed by his lips. Your moans were gentle, your hands gripped to his shoulders. He tugged gently at your skin with his fangs, revelling in the sounds coming from your lips. He grunted, "You do things to me, woman."

"Not as much as you do to me..." you whisper, pressing a playful kiss against his cheek. "My prince..."

Hearing that only got him more riled up. You could feel his hard cock push against your thigh through his shorts. He needed you now. Jumping up in his arms, he kept you held up by your thighs as you both continued making out. Vegeta directed you to the bed, throwing you down harshly as he pulled his tank top over his wide shoulders, dropping it on the floor. "Maybe if you're a good girl, your prince will reward you."

"Don't play coy. I've seen you eyeing me like a piece of meat this entire vacation. You've been begging for me to fuck you." You shook your head with a gentle bite of your lip, drawing a chuckle from the Saiyan's lips. You could only look up hungrily at his body, a smirk plastering his face as he undid the string of his shorts, "I'd be lying if I wasn't doing the same. Why do you think I was hiding out in that gym? Seeing you in that swimwear set me off more than I'm willing to admit."

As his shorts fell, you caught a glimpse of his massive cock as it sprung against his stomach. It was long, girthy and solid hard, craving your touch. He outstretched his finger and beckoned you towards him, "I want you to take me in your mouth."

You were quick to oblige, slowly crawling to the edge of the bed as you gripped his hard length in your hand. Your fingers could barely make it around his shaft. You looked up at him, your touch clearly making him fold as you gently began to suck on his tip. His moan was loud this time, his hand gripping your hair tightly as you stroked him at the same time. His eyes immediately shut, his mouth hanging open as he let more moans escape his lips, "Fuck, ah! Good girl. Such a good girl!"

You allowed your mouth to travel further down his shaft, your wrist twisting as you kept your grip on him. He couldn’t help but mumble and moan as he was like putty in your hands. You slipped off the bed and onto your knees, continuing to look on as you pleasured Vegeta. Your tongue pressured on the base of his cock, and your little kitten licks around his tip making him louder, you did everything right for him. You could feel his dick twitch, he was ready to cum in your mouth, but with one swift motion, he pulled you back to your feet. “Fuck… your turn.”

You were caught by surprise as Vegeta lowered you back down onto the bed on your back, gripping your tiny shorts as he slid them down your thighs. His eyes focused on what was waiting for him. “You’re soaking… I’ve barely even touched you, woman.”

He grasped your shoulders, turning you with your back to his chest as his hand slid down your torso, tugging at your panties hard to drive a moan out of your lips as the fabric rubbed off everything sensitive. He smiled, clearly loving to toy with you. Eventually, your panties were off and on the floor along with the rest of your clothes. He couldn’t help but let his fingers explore further down towards your heat. He circled your clit with his thumb, purring at the sound of your moans escaping your mouth. The louder you were, the harder he’d go, he knew he was pleasing you and he loved every second of it. You stuttered, your brain turning to mush, “V-Vegeta… fuck… so good…”

“I love how loud you are, Y/N, fuck!”

“K-keep going!”

He allowed his fingers to drift down more, keeping his thumb on your clit as he slid two of his fingers inside you. Keeping himself at a steady rhythm, he penetrated you deeper and deeper as he had one set goal in his mind. He wanted you to cum.

It wouldn't take him long to achieve it. You let out a high moan as you found yourself releasing onto Vegeta’s hand. He smirked in a cocky manner as he ground himself to a halt. You looked at him, your eyes watering as you panted heavily. “Fuck… I've never…”

“Shh…” he hushed you, sliding his wet fingers into your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise as you gently suckled on them. “Taste how good you are, c'mon. That's a good girl…”

The back and forth was hot, intense, and absolutely nothing short of mind-blowing. You both clearly had one goal in mind now. Vegeta pinned you to the mattress, removing your shirt before positioning himself with your ankles on his shoulders. Slowly but surely he slid inside you, the size of his huge, hard cock stretching against you as he slowly thrust in. You gazed up at him, his eyes drifting back into yours as he grunted loudly in pure bliss. You whimpered with each thrust, Vegeta refusing to hold back as he picked up the pace, each movement pushing him deeper inside you.

“You want me to cum inside you? Is that what you want?” his voice was higher, it was clear he was close. His hands squeezed your thighs tightly as he moved in closer. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist and basked in his loud callouts. Suddenly, he grabbed your face, his mouth just mere centimetres from yours as he repeated himself. “C’mon, tell me you want me to cum inside you.”

“Please Vegeta,” you begged, the roughness of his movements introducing you to a high you’d never felt before. “Please cum inside me.”

He smirked, letting a gasped laugh out as he buried his head into your chest. He was so close but so were you. You directed your nails to his shoulder blades, clawing in desperation as Vegeta left marks along your collarbone. The prince was whiny, you couldn’t help but love listening to him.

“I-I’m” you called out, his head snapped up as he gazed into your eyes. His hips snapped into you as fast as his body would allow him. You screamed out in pure pleasure, feeling a pure rush of adrenaline run through your body as Vegeta wasn’t far behind.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He yelled, pushing himself in as deep as he possibly could, letting himself go inside you as he slowly ground to a halt. He collapsed beside you, breathing heavily with his arms folded over his chest. You snuggled your head into his shoulder, looking up as you couldn’t help but grin.

“We can’t let this be once only…” you whispered.

Vegeta nodded in agreement, his head sinking back into the pillow as he slid his arm around your warm, sweaty body.

“I’d take you as my mate… if you’d let me have you… I mean, I can’t see you saying no…”

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #anime #fanfic #dbz #vegeta x reader #dbz vegeta #prince vegeta #vegeta #vegeta dbs #vegeta dragon ball #Vegeta smut

[softhairedhotch]

this one to me feels much more oc-like than a reader-insert (bc of all the details i added) but a few of yous said to keep it as a reader fic so i hope this is okay!! don't hate me if you can't relate to it please n thanks <3 also sorry for the weird formatting of my fics/the random bold or italics or small text idk tumblr hates me and keeps doing it!!! comfortember day five: treehouse (+day eight: grief/mourning) aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader aaron is there for you, just like he always is, after you lose your mother. word count: 2.1k warnings/content: parent loss, death of reader's mother, hurt/comfort, some emotional conversations and sad topics, mentions of crying, pet names, kissing, hugging, established relationship. lyrics that inspired this: "do not enter" is written on the doorway / why can't everyone just go away / except you / you can stay / what do you think of my treehouse? / it's where i sit and talk really loud / usually / i'm all by myself

comfortember masterlist here!

also on ao3!

the treehouse

You step out into the back garden and take a deep breath, closing your eyes as you allow the crisp air to wash over you. Aaron steps out moments after and closes the door quietly before his hand finds your lower back. 

"You okay?" He asks, his voice just above a whisper. It's almost drowned out by the sound of mourning doves overheard.

You shrug, your shoulders feeling as though they’re being weighed down by the heavy armour you’re trying–and failing–to shield yourself with. “I will be.”

“Yeah.” He looks around the garden and lets out a short, flat hum. “But no one is expecting you to be okay, you know that, right? There’s no time limit; you’re allowed to grieve.”

“I know.”

“I know you do, sweetheart. But I just wanted to remind you.” You turn to look at him and, at the sight of his genuine concern, your brave face crumbles. He wraps his arms around you immediately, pulling you close and enveloping you in his warmth. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you whisper as you cling to him, trying your hardest to hold back your tears but failing miserably. “I know.”

“Good.”

“I just don’t know what to do.” 

Aaron presses a kiss to your forehead. “You don’t have to do anything.”

You pull back and look up at him, confused. “Yes, I do. I have to… to get rid of everything and sell the, the house. And do all the paperwork and figure out what to do with her antiques and, and, and–”

“Hey, hey,” he interrupts you gently, pulling you back into a tight hug. “Don’t worry about any of that right now. I’ll do that.”

“What, no–”

“Let’s not talk about this now, okay? We’ll sort it out later or tomorrow. Give yourself some time to think about it.”

“But what do I do in the meantime? I can’t just… sit around.”

He thinks for a moment. “Show me around.”

“What?”

“Show me around the house. Tell me everything you can, anything you can remember, and I’ll listen. I wanna know what life was like for you.”

You almost burst into tears at his words. “Really? You wanna know about my childhood?”

“Sweetheart, I wanna know everything about you.”

***

You take Aaron inside the house, taking him to the living room. The room hasn’t been touched in a few days, save for a few files on the coffee table you checked earlier, and you feel sick at the thought of leaving the house behind once everything’s packed away. Then the thought of having to pack everything away makes you feel even worse and you sway on the spot. Aaron notices you falter and reaches out to squeeze your arm gently, standing beside you patiently. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do when all this is gone.”

“It doesn’t have to be gone,” he replies. “You can take it all.”

“And keep it where?”

“In our house, in a storage container… there’s many places.”

You think for a moment, holding back tears, before shaking your head. “No. I need to… to let it go. Not all of it, but I can’t keep everything. She wouldn’t wanna weigh me down with all her stuff.”

“Alright,” Aaron says, squeezing your arm again and leaning to press a soft kiss to your cheek. “Take anything you need. I promise we’ll find a place for it. That sound good?” 

You nod and lean into him for a moment before slowly making your way through the living room, grabbing the objects with the most significance to you and telling Aaron about them before sorting them into a box to take back to the house. You pack a few of your favourite DVDs, ones you’re sure won’t even play anymore with how scratched they’ve become, as you tell Aaron vague memories of watching them as a kid. What happened when you watched them, who you watched them with, how you felt–anything that comes to mind because you know he’s listening.

A few family photos are displayed on the TV stand, as well as a cabinet in the corner, and you relive the memories of when they were taken as you tell him all about them. He asks to look at one closer and you give it to him, watching as he smiles down at a photo of you with your old dog. “You looked happy.”

“I was,” you reply, nodding. “Some of the time, anyway.”

He gives you a small smile and hands you the picture. “I know what you mean.”

You continue to walk him around the house, showing him dents in the wall from where you hurt yourself and little drawings you hid behind drawers and peeling wallpaper. He listens intently, smiling at your happy anecdotes and comforting you when tears well up in your eyes as the worst memories cloud your mind. You show him your childhood bedroom, telling him about friends that used to come over for sleepovers and the first time you kissed someone behind the open door so no one would see. 

“My first kiss was with Haley,” he replies. “In the theatre room at our school.”

“Isn’t that where you first met her?”

“Yeah. I kissed her in the same spot I first saw her.”

“Aw,” you smile as you grab an old diary and throw it into your bag. You’ll read that later when you’re alone so you don’t embarrass or upset yourself anymore in front of Aaron. “You’ve always been a romantic, how cute.”

He blushes and presses a kiss to your cheek as he passes by, making his way to your desk and flicking through a few papers you left there when you were last over. “You think you’d want these?”

“Probably not, doubt they’re important.”

Aaron nods and begins to open the drawers, pulling out miscellaneous items and silently dividing them into piles of things you might want to keep and things you’d throw away. You watch him with a sombre smile, feeling your chest ache at the realisation that he knows you so well and that his love for you is endless. When he catches you watching him, he pauses and raises an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“I love you, you know that, right?” 

“Of course I do,” he replies, closing the drawer and walking back over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to tug you close. “I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Hm, I don’t know. I think I have a pretty good idea.”

“I don’t want to doubt you, sweetheart, but I really don’t think you do.” He presses a sweet kiss to your lips, channelling all his love into it. “I can’t even begin to express how much I love you. I just… do.”

You press another kiss to his lips to hide the tears welling up in your eyes. The love you feel for him is so strong it feels like you might burst. He kisses back, letting you take the lead. Pulling back, you look deep into his eyes and smile the first genuine smile you’ve been able to manage since you first heard the news. “I love you more.”

Aaron chuckles. “Sure you do.” He presses a chaste kiss to your lips with a hum. “Ready to carry on?” 

“Yeah,” you mutter, going to pull away before a thought strikes you and you let out a sharp breath. Aaron pulls you back into his arms immediately, looking down at you in concern but keeping silent to give you a moment to think. “Sorry, I just… realised that that was gonna be my last kiss in this room.”

“Is that a good thing? Or bad?”

“I don’t know,” you reply honestly, feeling out of it. “I don’t like the thought of everything we do in this moment being the last of anything, but… the fact that it’s you that I’m doing all this with… yeah, I think that’s a good thing.”

He smiles sweetly at you, love shining so clearly in his eyes, and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Then let's stay here for a little longer.”

“We should get it over with, I don’t wanna waste all your free time off work. You deserve to get some time to yourself.”

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and resting his head against yours. “This isn’t a waste of my time. Trust me. I want to be here, with you, for you, and that’s all that matters. Don’t think like that, okay? I’m here because I want to be, not because I feel like I have to. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “It does.”

***

“I guess that leaves the treehouse,” you shrug, feeling drained as you step back outside with Aaron following you. You stare up at the treehouse, wondering if it's necessary to go up there. “You don’t have to come up. It’s pretty small.”

“I’ll go wherever you go.”

“You’re so cheesy,” you say with a small smile, even when his words mean the world to you.

He smiles at you. “You love it.”

“I really do.” Making your way to the treehouse, you glance at Aaron and allow a small smirk to dance over your lips. “Don’t stare at my ass as I go up.”

Aaron laughs. “No promises.” 

You roll your eyes and begin climbing, risking a glance back to find Aaron’s eyes firmly on the ground and being as respectful as ever. It makes your heart skip a beat. Reaching the top of the ladder, you look at the treehouse's entrance and cringe at the big ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign hanging beside the doorway. It was a sign you carved yourself when you were younger. When you look inside the treehouse, your heart aches as memories flood through you. It takes you a few seconds to force yourself inside but once you clamber in, you call down to Aaron to let him know he can join you.

The sound of him climbing up surrounds you as you push yourself into your favourite corner, one filled with soft padding and blankets. A few of your favourite books are scattered across the floor and pictures of you and your childhood friends cover the walls. The nostalgia hits you hard and you bite your lip to stifle a sob. 

Aaron joins you, crawling inside and looking around with interest. As he gets comfortable in the small space, his long legs curling against himself to fit, you realise it’s the first time anyone’s ever been in the treehouse with you. Or at all. 

He remains silent, waiting for you to be the first to talk. You appreciate that. 

“I used to come up here a lot,” you say after a few minutes. “To read, to think, to talk to myself out loud… everything.”

“And did it help?”

“Yeah,” you nod, reaching over to grab one of the books beside you. It’s one you’re sure you’ve read a million times over, the pages worn and yellowing and a small layer of dust covering the outside. “It was nice. Peaceful. Somewhere I was never bothered.”

“I had a place like that,” Aaron muses, smiling at you. “Not as personal as this, though. It was a bench a few blocks from where I grew up, hidden by a few overgrown trees. I liked it.”

“Did you go there a lot?”

“Whenever I could. Couldn’t go much in the winter because of the cold, though.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Same here. Still came here even if I meant I almost froze to death.”

His smile becomes sad but there's clear understanding in his expression. “Yeah.”

The two of you sit inside the treehouse for almost an hour, talking about whatever comes to mind. Aaron listens intently to every word you say, his comforting hand drawing patterns over your thigh and eventually over your side when you move to curl up against him. You feel yourself drifting off at one point when the exhaustion settles deep in your bones, feeling so safe and warm and loved and comforted beside him, but you force awake to finish back up in the house. 

Aaron follows you inside, as he always has and always will, and comforts you through everything that comes after that. He helps you pack up the house, assuring you over and over that you can take however many boxes you want back to the house you share with him. He sits with you for days after, mostly in silence when the grief catches up to you and you can hardly think, never once looking as if he’d rather be elsewhere. He holds your hand throughout the funeral, never once leaving your side or once letting you think for a moment that you’re ever alone. And even after it’s been weeks, months, years, since that moment, he’s there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on. Just like he always has been. 

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfiction #tw parent death #tw parental loss #parent death tw #comfortember #comfortember 2023

[estrellami-1]

Writer prompt: “When will I get people who care the way I care?” Steve + the party hurt/comfort

Lmaooooo not you turning my own words on me (thank you I probably needed to write this ngl)

Steve made a point to remember the kids’ birthdays. To know their favorite foods, their allergies, to have their favorite tapes in his car.

And it’s not like it’s serious. Steve wouldn’t die from it. Probably.

It’s just… well. He told them he was allergic to shellfish. He remembered the day, especially, because they’d all had a long discussion about what was actually classified as shellfish.

But now someone decided to bring a clambake up to Bumfuck, Indiana, right where Steve lived, and all the kids are so excited about it, and he’s excited for them, honest.

But they don’t understand when he declines the offer to go, their request to drive them. Slowly but surely, he realizes they forgot.

Maybe he should’ve expected that. Maybe he should’ve known the expectations are different on the babysitter versus the babysat. Maybe-

“Alright,” Eddie says suddenly, one loud clap getting everyone’s attention. “Everyone out! Something’s come up. Great to see you, same time next week, untold horrors, et cerera. Get the fuck outta here.”

Eddie turns to Steve once everyone’s gone. “What’s wrong?”

Steve blinks. “What?”

“You’re making a face like something’s wrong.”

“Oh.” Steve debates not telling him, except that’s never done him any favors before, and he doubts it’ll start now. “Um. Just. Y’know the clambake?”

Eddie chuckles. “It’s practically all the kids talk about.”

“Yeah. Um. They didn’t understand why I didn’t want to go. Or why I didn’t want to take them.”

“Okay,” Eddie says slowly. “I’m all for telling the little shits no once in a while, don’t get me wrong. But… why did you tell them no?”

“I’m allergic to shellfish.”

Eddie’s mouth opens in an o. “Do they know?”

“Yeah. Or they did, I dunno. I guess they forgot. And I just… I dunno. Got in my head about it, I guess, because I remember things that are important to them, y’know? I have their tapes in my car, I know their favorite foods, I know what they’re allergic to. I know what to do to help all of them through a nightmare or a panic attack. And I spend so much of my time giving, and being what they need me to be, and… I guess it gets tiring, sometimes.” He shrugs, looks down. “I’m just wondering when I’m gonna get people who care the way I care. Who remember the little things, maybe not even cause they’re important, but because they’re part of me, y’know?”

Eddie smiles sadly, sits next to him. Turns his body to face Steve’s. “You mean like the face you make when you’re cooking and your sauce needs more salt? Or the way you dance a little, wiggle your hips, when you’ve got music playing and you’re doing the dishes? Or the way you clench your fists when you think no one’s looking, when you’re trying not to fidget or reach out and touch?” He touches one of Steve’s hands, clenched in his lap. “You can.”

Steve sighs, releases his hands. Turns one over and capture’s Eddie’s. “And the important thing,” Eddie continues. “The way you keep the pool lights turned off when the kids aren’t over. The way you hate to cook for just yourself. You ever wonder why I invite myself over so much? ‘S because I know you wouldn’t eat otherwise. The kids are assholes, I’ll give you that. They’re also kids. Let them grow up some, keep showing them the love that you are, and trust that one day they’ll show it back. Until then, can I be enough for you?”

“Eddie,” Steve whispers, chokes. “You’re always enough. More than.”

Eddie moves in closer. “Let yourself take,” he whispers back, slotting an arm over Steve’s shoulders and pulling him in. “Trust that I’m giving. That I want you to have it.”

Steve leans in. Doesn’t say thank you. Doesn’t kiss him. He doesn’t have to. He’s taking, accepting. And that says everything.

#I hope this was okay #most of this was written at 2am last night #and I finished the rest just now #so if anything doesn’t make sense that’s why #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #writing #asks #prompts #thank you friend! #starambles

[robo-milky]

[More Info]

Nicknames:

Henchman (Grim) | Claws (Ace) | Clochey Wochey (Cater) | House Cat (Leona)

Shrimpy (Floyd) | Trickster -> La Petite Clochette (Rook) | City Kitty (Epel) | Kit -> Honorary Human (Sebek)

Kit of Beasts -> Heart of Man (Malleus)

In Return:

Master _____ (Everyone except for faculty)

Uncle (Ramshackle Ghosts)

Bio:

An emotionally distant girl who thinks with her brains more than her heart. Her words may come off as insensitive, but it’s always said in a neutral tone. Prefers to state the facts and look for the most efficient way out, than tackling more abstract concepts like emotions. Despite this outlook on life, she is a skeptical, worst-case scenario planner. Cloche will go the extra mile if it means security and success is guaranteed. When it comes anything, be it a task/person/subject, Cloche is the type of person who would want to know anything and everything about it to be prepared. When push comes to shove, Cloche will take on the role of leadership and make all the hard decision no one else wants to make. Cloche is a very “the ends justify the means” kind of person.

Core Values -> Competency + Freedom

Background:

A cosplayer from Earth who, after exiting from a con, took a wrong turn to get home and was swept away by the NRC horse carriage.

Ghost Camera: “I’m pretty sure Headmaster Crowley gave this to me as binding to keep me here.”

Snow Hand Cream: “Master Rook could tell this cream is from Neige’s line just by the smell! Isn’t that impressive?”

Bandaids: “I originally bought these for myself, but I end up giving them to others…”

Advils: “Would you like one? Binding Bells told me you were getting headaches, so…”

Handkerchief: “Here, let me wipe that up for you, Master.”

Hair ties: “Master Epel gave them to me during a joint P.E. class. The day after, I overheard Master Vil complaining about his missing hair ties.”

Pencil Case: “If you wish to borrow a pencil, I expect you to give me something back as collateral— so I know you’ll return it back to me.”

Lollipops: “The lollipops in Twisted Wonderland are great and all, but they can’t beat the taste of Chupachups.”

Thread and Needle: “Oh, you’re missing a button.”

Lactaid: “You don’t need one… do you?”

Scrapbook: “Do NOT touch.”

Textbook: “I’m so close annotating the whole book. Just a couple pages left…”

Spiral bound notebook: “Master Rook complimented the calligraphy title in my notes! …Maybe I should do the same thing for futures ones.”

Phone: “Master Grim, please stop playing games…”

Sketchbook: “Master Epel complained about me drawing him too ‘girly’, but I only drew what I saw.”

Notable Thoughts: Cloche’s

“Headmaster Crowley must be busy running such a prestigious school like this… So busy, I wonder if he’d have time looking for a way I can go back to my world.”

“Master Grim’s orders aren’t as bad you think. All he really does is make me do his share of the chores. The simplicity of his orders are a blessing compared to other students’…”

“Master Ace may be annoying when he exploits my curse, but he can be a surprisingly sweet friend. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Is it bad I felt no sympathy for Master Kalim when Master Jamil overblotted?”

“I feel like I’ve been seeing Epel more and more since he stayed over at Ramshackle for the VDC. I get that it’s probably convenient for him to go with me, if we’re going to head back to the same destination anyways, but he doesn’t have to accompany during short breaks.”

“I think Master Rook is very admirable! He’s intelligent, athletic, and creative! …I wish more people could give him a chance and see him for who he really is— but… he probably wouldn’t like that… After all, half the things I know about him, he’s never told me in person.”

“Before asking Master Idia for homework help, Master Grim and I always play a game of rock-paper-scissors. …Why? Because neither of us want to be the bargaining chip.”

Notable Thoughts: Others’

“Cloche could’a been the perfect henchman if he didn’t have to call other people ‘Master’!” - Grim

“With Cloche around, Heartslabyul doesn’t have to resort to using a cat beastman to play the violin, but an actual cat. That way, we can follow rule 529 without any loopholes.” - Riddle

“Me, friends with that stick in the mud? Pfft—! As if!” - Ace

“Even in a sticky situation, I’ve never seen Cloche lose his cool before. I wonder how he does it…” - Deuce

“I can’t have Leona ordering Cloche around, cause he’ll steal my job!” - Ruggie

“It’s such a shame Cloche refused my offer for him to work at the Monstro Lounge. …We could have made good money and attracted more customers if we used his cat form to promote on our Magicam…” - Azul

“I thought I could feel the claws of a wild beast, but there’s a beauty to reservation too.” - Rook

“‘Master Hornton’, an amusing nickname, indeed. I was under the impression Cloche had known my identity, but it seems my expectations had been subverted.” - Malleus

Extras/Trivia:

- Birthday: May 12

- ISTJ-T/6w5

- “She/Her” is only used in a meta/narration sense, otherwise— she uses “he/him”

- When Cloche is in her cat form, she has no conscious thoughts and move as if she’s on autopilot, like a normal cat.

- Cloche has no distinct handwriting. It varies depending on what she’s writing and who it’s for— yet even then, no two letters look the same.

- Cloche has no inner fur in her ears. It’s to signify that the cat ears are unnatural— fake.

- Has a habit of either covering her mouth with her hand/sleeve or turning away whenever she breaks into a genuine smile. Can smile on command for a camera (cosplayer intuition).

- Goes to the school forest to calm down whenever she feels emotional or if she has an inkling that her feral side will come out

- Cloche has germaphobic tendencies.

Gallery:

Cards:

Groovy!! [SR Tsumsitter]

Groovy!! [SSR Union/Birthday Jacket]

[SR Luxe Couture]

#hiiiii so I made a new cloche bio for the sake of clarity- #now that I’ve finally settled on her lore and I’m taking her more seriously than a silly meme yuu- I think I’m happy with this? #oc: cloche🎊 #cat scribblez 🌸 #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #my art #twst yuu #twst mc #twst ocs #twst disney #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #yuusona #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #twst art #twisted wonderland art

[dayangaytransman]

Warnings: mention of Transphobia, Homophobia, Self harm, Suicide, Gender Dysphoria and depression

I translated this with the help of AI so I don't know how much of it is correct. Sorry for bad english

I just want to share this; otherwise, I might do something that makes everyone upset

I am a Trans man/Transmasc/Genderfluid person. I use any pronouns except She/Her.

In my country, they won't let me transition, but they also don't want me near them pre- transition

I tell doctors and people who say they can help me that I need testosterone.

But they tell me if they give that to me, I will have a beard and I will regret it! I want a beard! WTF!

A doctor said to me that he cannot give me testosterone, but I can buy it and inject it myself! They don’t sell medicines like that without a doctor’s permission.

I look like a woman, or a 12-year-old cis boy.

I am 19 years old

And when people meet me, a grown man, they see a child and act accordingly. They call me little and short, and I can’t tell people in public how old I am, but they always ask.

I hate myself because I don’t look like the grown man I am. I am 153 cm and 42 kg. I am short, skinny, and have a baby face.

I sometimes present as feminine, and when I do, people in public say unkind things to me. They even try to harm me.

I live in a place where the government executes gay men and I am afraid when they see me as a gay boy.

I live in a Muslim country, so they expect me to wear a hijab, even though I am not Muslim.

I can’t transition here, even if they allow it. The doctors don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t want to be a laboratory mouse. Once, the most famous doctor was accused of killing a person just from a mastectomy! I want a healthy, beautiful, normal body.

I can’t travel for transition because I am very poor, and in my country, even $10,000 is a lot. Even with 100 years of working, I couldn’t accumulate that much money.

But they won’t even let me work or study! Many LGBTQIA+ people here have been expelled from school.

In my country, a trans person is a psychopath. Many of us don’t have an ID ( of our true gender) , and we can’t live like this.

I can’t attend classes, such as an art class, or visit any doctor. They require an ID, and even when they don’t, I don’t want to out myself or have them touch and examine my body.

I experience all forms of dysphoria that exist. I am dealing with depression, childhood trauma, ADHD, social anxiety, among other issues.

I tried to kill myself twice. I have left school. I don’t want to leave the house, but I am trying to change these things, and I can’t seem to do so.

And you know what? Nobody cares!

Do you think all transgender individuals speak English and reside in countries that are friendly to the queer community?

I cannot create a GoFundMe here; there is no supportive organization or similar entity available. Everyone here hates me and can easily kill me.

I am gay, and my relationships have always been toxic.

Men do not perceive me as a man.

My father left me; my mother just doesn’t care about me, and my brother is my biggest enemy.

I cry every day, and I don’t know if I want to be alive anymore. When I tell all my friends and family, even those who can see my tears, they don’t care.

I don't know what to do.

I see people on the internet who just need to turn 18 to transition, try a little bit harder, or travel to another city.

I do not have these privileges. I have wanted testosterone for four years and have tried to obtain it in the way the government indicated, but they have not provided it to me.

I hate my chest, My high, My face, My... My everything

I feel inadequate because I am unable to study, work, or even travel to see my boyfriend and best friend.

I remain alive because if I were to die, there would be no one to feed my cat. He/it is all I have in this world.

People often ask whether I am a girl or a boy. They always tell me that I am short and small, and insist that I can’t be older than they are.

I AM A GROWN ASS MAN!

Imagine calling Tom Ellis or Henry Cavill cute, little, and girlish.

And when my gender changes because I am genderfluid, it gets worse. And I don't feel like a woman.

Nobody here understands what ‘non-binary’ means.

They don’t understand the meaning of ‘trans’ either.

They refer to us by a term that I cannot repeat because it is an offensive word. A bad word that means: a person who is a prostitute has two genitals and is mentally insane. And they want transgender individuals to fully transition. Otherwise, they won’t give them an ID. And who do you think are the ones who say who is trans and who is not? The government! Actually, it’s the psychologists, but mostly the government. You need to prove yourself to them, and I tried hard, but I failed.

Even my family doesn’t see me as an adult—a man who is 19 years old.

Most of the day, I talk to AI because it is kind and knows what it is doing.

Here people think we are sex workers. That Trans people are always horny!

I have dysphoria, so I am not horny, even when I want to be. I can't even masturbate. I can't even look at it.

Here if they find out, they can send me to jail because I am an AFAB person without Hijab. All the people here are transphobic and I can't do shit about it.

And... Nobody in the world cares... I have no doubt that you do not even know the geographical location of my country.

Queer people in my country are the most miserable people on the planet. And they are against each other more than anywhere else. Gay men don't want me around them here ,same as Trans men. And they all hate non-binary people, Polyamorus people and people like me who have more than 10 labels.

I want to grow one day and become an artist, a writer, and an LGBTQIA+ activist. But also I want to kill myself. I want to become manly, sexy, hairy, and big But on the other hand, I want to hurt myself. I want to study philosophy, literature, and languages, but I also hate them because they don’t include someone like me.

I want to write LGBTQIA+ stories in my native language to contribute to my community. But this is illegal here.

I want to do anything and everything, but I know all of this is a dream, and just a dream

All I can do is cry and wonder if I should kill myself

I am sorry if this makes you upset, but I need to say these things to the world.

I wish I were AMAB, or if not, a wealthy person so I could transition. And if not that, then Canadian, European, or even American, so the transition would not be just a dream. Or if I am none of these, at least to not have all the dysphoria in the world, from top to bottom, from voice to face, to height to hips to…

Why? Just... Why?

#gender dysphoria #transgender #trans man #genderfluid #lgbtqia+ #sorry for being depressing #nonbinary #transmasc #ai translation #this is my first post #this is my life #i am scared #i don't know how to tag this

[only-angel-28]

1999, part two

oh my gosh this ones a long one im sorry💀💀

i hope you like it and lmk if i should change anything/parts you liked!!

warnings: swearing, shitty boyfriends, angst

1999, part one

1999, part three

1999, part four

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ ༝

*ding dong*

I hopped up off the couch with a huge grin on my face and rushed to the door.

“Hey!” Dean laughed as I all but jumped on him laughing myself, “Hey, I’ve missed you!” I say.

Dean has been a family friend for a decade now at least. We've always been best friends and mostly everyone at school thought that we were dating long before we actually were which is why it was strange that my family would find me and Dean dating, ‘a joke’. I remember when I had first told them and they straight up laughed in my face. After that interesting conversation, Belly and I had another one in our room.

“Are you sure about him? I mean Dean’s nice but…”

“But what?” I asked

“But he's just not… I don't know I wouldn't have expected you to go after some perfect guy like Dean, I didn't think that was your type.”

What Belly had said had me thinking and overthinking for weeks after.

“M’sorry I’m late…” Dean smiled apologetically at me, “Traffic was shitty.”

“No worries, you made it just in time for the bonfire. Belly and the boys already left to set it up about an hour ago so it should be in full swing by now.” I smiled up at him with my arms wrapped around his neck as he pecked my nose and muttered a simple “okay.”.

We make our way to the beach in Dean’s jeep and arrive at the bonfire in about fifteen minutes.

“Can you see them anywhere?” I ask Dean as we look out at the huge group of tipsy teenagers trying to make out any figures that we recognise.

“Uhmm…yeah, right there!” he says pointing far off in the distance to what looks Belly and Steven, already fighting.

We make our way down and meet Belly and Steven focused on a game of beer pong. God, I haven't seen them that focused since…to be honest I don't think I've ever seen them this focused.

“Huge bets must be on the table otherwise there's no way these two crackheads would be this focused,” I say to Dean. His reply gets cut short by a voice saying,

“Sure as hell are, they’re debating what we all should do tomorrow; surfing or shopping”.

“Oh! Dean this is Thérèse! And this is Jere” I say smiling at my childhood friends.

After a couple of ‘hey how’s it going’s are exchanged, they all end up joining Steven and Belly’s surf or shop debate. Thérèse doesn’t even look at me when I try talking to her and I only get one-word sentences as answers.

Thérèse and I have been friends almost as long as Belly and Taylor. We were really close as children but grew apart as she lived here in Cousins and Belly, Taylor and I didn't. We still kept in touch and tried to call each other as often as we could, she knew everything about me. Things got weird when I told her about me and Dean. She didn't call me, left me on delivered or read and just stopped talking to me altogether.

I hang around them for a bit until I get uncomfortable and decide to take a walk.

“Hey I’m gonna go for a walk, okay?” I say to the group. 

A couple of ‘yeah sure have fun’s are heard until Dean speaks up.

“What? Why would you wanna do that?” he runs a hand through his hair but refuses to look at me and focuses on the beer pong instead.

“I don't know I'm bored I wanna go for a walk?” I say back, surprised at his weird behaviour.

He looks at me as if I just grew two heads and says, “Well then if you didn't want to spend time with me why did you invite me here in the first place?” 

“Dean calm down it's not that big of a deal it's just a walk,” I say raising my arms up in defence.

Why was he being so weird?

“Dean it's okay just let her go.” Thérèse smiles at Dean.

“Fine. Whatever. Do whatever you want.” he runs a hand through his brown hair again and focuses on his beer pong shot again.

Belly, Jere and I share confused looks before I turn around to walk, Steven being too occupied cracking jokes with Dean and some girls around them to notice a thing.

I need to clear my head.

I walk until I'm far from anyone at the party and sit down on the sand, looking out at the sea.

It starts to get windy so I tuck my knees against my chest and stare out to the ocean, trying not to think of anything, or anyone for that matter.

But trying not to think about it just makes me think harder.

Why was Dean being like this?

All weird and controlling…

And what’s up with Thérèse?

I've apologised countless times and I don't even know what I did wrong…

“Here.” A voice breaks the soft gusts of wind and soothing crashes of the water against the sand. And my thoughts.

I look up and see Conrad looking down at me with his hand stretched out in offer of the faded red zip-up he's holding.

I tilt my head to him in question.

“You look cold.” he says looking at my arms covered in goosebumps.

“Oh…thanks.” I laugh softly accepting the hoodie and putting it on being engulfed in his cologne. I pat the sand next to me and offer for him to sit.

He sits next to me in silence as I put my head on his shoulder, both of us staring out to the water.

“How’s Susannah? I didn't get to talk to her much before mom stole her away.”

Conrad and I softly laugh as he says, “She's doing good. Cancer’s almost gone.” he says, putting a smile on both our faces.

We sit there for a while in silence, letting the crashes of the waves and the gentle breeze of the wind calm us down from all the commotion going on in the distance.

“Hey Con?” I ask softly.

“Hm?” he gently hums back.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

There's a short pause before Conrad takes a breath in and says “Yes, Of course. I'm fine.” he says with a smile, but the shakiness in his exhale tells me otherwise.

“Are you sure?” I press on trying to get him to break so he can tell me what's wrong.

Another pause.

He turns to me and smiles and says, “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

Before I can respond, he reaches his hand out, tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and looks at my eyes.

Some say the eyes are the windows to the soul. In Conrad’s case, they might as well be holding up big bright signs that say how he's really feeling.

Conrad might be able to put up a happy façade in front of anyone but three people.

Susannah

My mom

Me.

If his body language doesn't say anything then his eyes do, they always do.

And right now his eyes looked glassy. Soft. Hurt.

“Con…” I start to say until my voice gets interrupted by another much deeper and louder one.

“Y/N!!” Steven runs up to us, “Oh hey Conrad good thing you’re here too, GUESS WHAT?”, he screams in front of us.

“Ugh, Steven stop screaming my head hurts.” I mumble as Conrad asks “What?”

“WE’RE SURFING TOMORROW YEAHHH!!” he roars happily

“I’m guessing you won beer pong?” I say.

“Hell yeah, Belly and Dean ate my dust!” he boasts

Jeremiah and Belly had caught up with him now and sat alongside Conrad and me as Steven tried reenacting his win.

“So how’d he actually win? He couldn’t have done it himself, guys drunk as shit.”, Conrad says laughing along with us as Steven trips over his own feet.

“I helped him.” Jere says in a low voice not to take Stevens's joy of his delusions away.

“Hey where’s Dean?” I ask Belly as Steven finishes his (horrible) acting and sits with us exchanging embarrassing stories of me and Belly with Conrad and Jeremiah.

“Uhm, I’m not too sure I think he said he was going to go look for you after we finished. Thérèse said she’d help.”

Thats weird.

Steven had already found me and he could’ve just called me if he was worried?

And why would Thérèse want to help? last I checked she hates me.

Whatever.

“I’m gonna go find him.” I said, getting up and brushing the sand off my legs.

Conrad looks up at me as I leave. His eyes don’t leave my back as I walk away and I can feel them slowly burning a hole through my back to my heart.

I take my phone out of my back pocket and call Dean.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three…

Four…

Five…

I hang up.

I try calling him again.

One…two…three…four…

I see Dean’s jeep in the distance and what looks like to be him in it. I keep trying to call him to see if he’ll pick up.

I run to the car, open the door and say, “Hey why aren’t you-”

I get cut off as tears fill my eyes and hurt fills my heart.

Dean’s phone is on the passenger seat constantly vibrating as he’s in the driver making out with Thérèse.

“What the fuck Dean?!” I shout as Dean and Thérèse finally break away from eating each other's faces.

Ew.

“Oh! Uhm…hey babe! Thérèse and I were just talking…” he slurs as Thérèse puts her arms around him and starts kissing his neck.

“Thérèse what the fuck get off him!” I say blinking back my tears refusing to cry in front of them.

“Why should I? I’m a better kisser anyway. Did you really think Dean came all the way down to Cousins to visit you?” she says with a sick smile as she spreads her lipstick around Dean’s neck and collar.

“You know what forget it. You two assholes deserve each other. Don’t bother to come back in the house to get all your stuff Dean, it’ll be out on the front yard.

I turn away before they get a chance to see my tears and walk down to Conrad’s car.

I take my phone in my hand and shakily call Conrad after blocking Dean and Thérèse off everything.

“Hey where are you?” he answers.

“Connie can you…can you drive me home please?” I say sniffling.

“What? Where are you? What’s wrong” he says in an alarmed voice and I can hear him getting off the sand and telling the others he was going to take me home.

“Just…Please drive me home Con…” I say desperately.

“Okay yeah sure, where are you y/n?” he asks in a more controlled voice.

“I’m next to your car.” I say sniffling again.

“Alright y/n/n I’m nearly there, don’t go anywhere okay?”

“Okay.”

Two minutes later and Conrad finds me leaning on his car. He comes up to me and immerses me in his arms, softly shushing me as I sob in his chest.

“Shhh.” he tries to soothe me and runs his hands through my hair.

“Come on. Let’s go home.” he kisses the top of my head as my cries die down and opens the car door for me.

The drive home is almost silent except for the faint noise of the radio playing and my sniffles. Conrad reaches out and holds my hand in a red light. I look at him and he softly smiles in assurance.

When we finally reach home I go straight to my room ignoring Mom and Susannah’s calls of worry. I sob into my pillows as I hear them knocking on the door.

“Y/n honey? What’s wrong can we come in?” they ask. I love them to death but I don't want them right now.

I want Conrad. I need Conrad. I always have.

It's as if they can hear my thoughts because in two seconds Conrad opens the door, comes straight in and sits on my bed next to me.

He doesn’t say anything but brushes the hair out of my face looking at me sadly.

“Wanna tell me what's wrong now? Laurel and Mom are worried sick, they might tear my head off if I go back out there without an answer.” he says quietly making me laugh a bit.

He wipes away my tears with his thumbs and says, “Hey where’s boy toy?”

I look up at him questioning, “Boy toy?”

“Yeah, that boyfriend of yours. Jere called him Boytoy he said he was kinda weird. Did he do something to you?”

I sniffle and silently pray that my voice doesn't give out as I speak, “He uhm…I went looking for him and I saw him with Thérèse they were uhm. They were making out in his car.” I tell him everything, how I found them, what I said, what they said, all while trying to blink back more tears and clearing my throat so it doesn't break anymore.

“That's fucked up I’m so sorry Y/n.” he says softly.

“Wait hang on, Thérèse? Wasn't she your best friend?” he looks at me with furrowed brows.

“I mean I thought she was but after I told her about Dean she just… I don't know she just switched up.”

“Doesn't matter about her she was always a toxic friend anyway. And this Dean seems like a pussy too. I’m sorry but I'm glad things are over with you two, Jere told me how he shouted at you on the beach earlier.”

“Yeah he was really insecure,” I laugh with Conrad. “He said he was jealous of you and Jere when I saw him the other day.”

“Then why are you crying lovie?” he says so softly I barely hear him.

“I don't know, I guess I'm not crying over him… I think I'm crying over the fact that no one really cares. I don't know it’s stupid.” I stare down at my hands, embarrassed by my choice of words.

Hold me close and say you care

‘Cause I'm in love with your brown hair

Conrad wraps his arms around me and puts one of his hands under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

“I care.” he simply says. The look in his eyes could make my knees give out in a second if I wasn't already sitting down. I take a deep breath and try to brush his comment away. There's no way he can just

come back and say he cares when he hasn't bothered to answer my calls or read my texts in almost a year. There's no way I'm doing this again with him.

I try changing the subject by bringing my hand up to his hair and running my fingers through it.

“I love your hair Con.”

He gently takes my hand away from his hair and repeats himself.

“I care Y/n.” he says staring into my eyes. He lets go of my hand and brings his to the back of my neck leaning in close.

The way you touch me is a curse

And I'm not willing to let it all

Hurt

His lips brush against mine sending electric shocks through my body but I refuse to let it go any further. He doesn't get to do this.

I pull away from him as fast as I can and make distance between us.

Physical distance. Since he has the emotional distance covered I might as well take over and finish it with physical.

“No don’t do this Con.” I say shaking my head as I pace around the room blinking away more tears.

“Don’t do what?” he says confused by my actions.

“Don’t play dumb Conrad you know what I mean.”

“Y/n what are you talking about? I-I'm sorry I kissed you I just… I thought you liked me.”

“No Conrad don't.” I say looking up at him through glassy eyes, trying to shake away the anxiety slowly creeping up at me.

“Don't what?! Are you even going to tell me what I did wrong, can you just talk to me?!” he says angrily, standing up from the bed too now so we're both staring at each other from the ends of this room. This God-forsaken tiny room with the walls closing in.

“Can I talk to you?! Oh Conrad that's rich coming from you.” I sneer angrily at him.

How can he of all people say that to me?

“What the fuck are you talking about, what did I do?” he says, his voice growing louder with every word.

“What did you do?” I laugh, “No Conrad let's talk about what you didn’t do. You didn't answer my calls for a whole year, you didn't answer my texts for a whole year, you weren’t there when I needed you Con, you weren't there when mom and dad got divorced like you said you’d be, you completely ignored me for a whole fucking year Con you can't just make it all up by saying you care and kissing me, you can't do that Con not when I've always been there for you, not when I've always cared for you and loved you for this long Con you can’t, you can’t, you can’t!” I finish, out of breath as Conrad looks at me with a hurt expression on his face.

“I…” he starts off but I hold my hand up to him to tell him to stop talking.

I don't want to hear what he has to say, I can't. I close my eyes and say “Please just go away Conrad.”.

When I open my eyes again he's nodding, trying to hold back tears in his gorgeous blue eyes. I look away before a tear can fall from them.

One tear from his eyes, one word from his mouth and I know I’ll go running back to him. But I can't, I refuse to after how he hurt me.

Watch your mouth and wash with soap

'Cause I just hate the way you spoke

Green eyes make everything feel numb

And I'm not willing to give it all up

He closes the door silently behind him and I crash into my bed, sobbing into the jacket he gave me.

And I'm not wasting time again

Closure instead of sex

And I'm not wasting time again

You said I fucked up and ruined your life

But little did you know you ruined mine

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ ༝

well that was a journey🤡🤡

lmk what you think and please feel free to request anything on my bio even things for part three!! (no smut please)

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x y/n #fanfic #fics #tsitp #tsitp conrad #belly conklin #steven conklin #jeremiah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #conrad fisher angst

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2022: 31-New Beginnings

Damian sighed. He was already loathing the thought of school. It wasn't the thought of the girls who threw themselves at him or a test he hadn't studied for; No, he had lost a bet.

Jon was already smiling as Damian exited the car.

"As per the rules of the bet," Jon announced, "had I lost, I was to sneak into Pa's sanctuary and take a picture as proof. Since you lost,-"

"I have to make a 'flirty comment' to the first girl I see." Damian continued.

"Once you are inside the school." Jon stated.

"Right." he grumbled.

'Let's just get this over with. Whatever stupid girl that becomes infatuated with me and follows me, I can just tell her it was part of a bet. That should get her to leave me alone.'

Damian and Jon walked into the school. Damian quickly turned around to see what girl would be coming next up the stairs.

"How was Heaven when you left it, Angel?" Damian questioned.

'That should suffice. It sounded like some ridiculous thing Grayson would say.'

Damian already opened his mouth to mention it was just part of a bet. He expected her to throw herself at him, ask him about when they could date, but he never expected to see her glaring at him. He hadn't remembered seeing a girl with eyes this blue before.

She pointed at him and jabbed him in his chest, "I will snap you like a twig. Never speak to me like that again."

'An accent?'

Then, she was gone. Damian quickly turned to see her walking towards the Dean's office.

"Damian, please don't hurt her." Jon whispered, grabbing onto his arm, "I think she's new."

The Wayne heir closed his eyes and exhaled.

'She doesn't even know who I am.'

Damian Wayne was trained as an assassin. He trained with ninjas. It wasn't hard to follow the new girl around. He needed to explain what happened this morning. Usually, he wouldn't bother to explain himself, but he had to!

Damian spotted her in the hall. He walked quickly behind her and touched her shoulder, to gain her attention. He didn't expect her to grab his wrist, twist his arm, and bring him to his knees. Damian saw Jon freeze near him. He could see panic cross his face.

"Can I help you with something?" Marinette questioned, "You've been following me all day."

'She noticed me?'

"I wanted to apologize for my comment this morning." Damian began to explain, "My friend and I had a bet; I lost. I had to make a flirtatious remark to the first female I laid eyes upon once I was inside the school."

Marinette let go of his arm, but glared at him nonetheless. She watched him warily.

'Green eyes. Why do green eyes always start off being honest?'

Mari sighed, "Thank you. I'm sorry if I was too rough."

"You defended yourself admirably." Damian replied.

Everyone that had been watching, let out a breath of relief.

"I tried." she smiled, "Probably not as good as someone born in Gotham."

"I moved here seven years ago." Damian answered.

Jon couldn't believe he was hearing Damian's heart race.

"I want to apologize. I have been on edge and I promised myself I wouldn't be the same person I was back in Paris." she spoke.

"Same person?" asked Jon, unconsciously.

"A spineless nobody." Marinette frowned, "Thank you for apologizing."

Marinette turned and began to walk away.

"I didn't get your name." Damian called out.

"Marinette." she spoke.

"Damian." he answered.

"Oh." Mari spoke up, "Just for future reference, puns are horrible and aren't cute. Never use a pun to flirt with me, unless you want to be punched in the face." and walked away.

Damian gulped.

'She really is an angel.'

TAG LIST: @maribat-calendar-events @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @meme991001 @vixen-uchiha @abrx2002 @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @animegirlweeb @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus

#daminette december 2022 #daminette december #damian wayne #jon kent #bet #new student #crush #marinette dupain cheng #damian x marinette #daminette #marinette x damian #marinette in gotham #marinette deserves better #mochinek0

[onboardsorasora]

okokok @blacklaces and I have been chatting and hear me out!

WHAT IF? Mobwife Daniel, our beloved, never fell in love with Christian? And instead, after the wedding he’d been sneaking off to go see Lewis this whole time. Lewis is the love of his life and who he wanted to marry. 

Christian eventually catches on that Daniel is hiding something and ups his security– enter Max who is a fucking unit and Daniel’s new bodyguard. Daniel is incensed at Christian trying to curb his movements. He realizes fairly quickly that he can’t lose Max. Max has a crush but it's not useful to Daniel because it means Max doesn’t want to leave him alone.

Daniel calls Lewis in tears because he’s feeling trapped and alone. 

It's been over a month since Max was his new shadow, since his movements were confined to the house, his favourite shops and restaurants. His driver followed Max’s instructions only and the security in these places had increased. 

It’s been a month since he saw Lewis last. Since the argument with Christian that left him locked in one of the guest rooms temporarily. It wasn’t the hickey that had tipped him off, but Daniel’s new driver had blabbed. Allegedly, he’d spent too long at Nico’s place– ‘longer than necessary’. It had been enough for Christian check security cameras. 

The hickey had just been an icing on the cake when Christian had thought to get violent. Daniel had drawn his knife and the motion and pulled his husband’s eyes to his thigh. The bruising had been stark and unfamiliar. 

Christian left bruises on his neck, because he wanted to claim him. Wanted everyone to know that Daniel was his. Lewis left them on his thighs because Daniel knew he was already his.

Max had moved in two days after and Daniel hadn’t known peace since. 

Daniel locked himself in his bedroom and dug through his underwear drawer until he found it. The burner phone took a moment to turn on and load up and with shaking hands, Daniel dialed the only number in the call log.

“Yes?” the voice on the other line was wary. They didn’t communicate this way– Daniel never hid it but Christian also never searched his phones. This phone was for emergencies. Only five people had this number and Daniel’s would come up as unlisted.

“You need to get me out of here..” Daniel’s voice wobbled. “Lewis, please.” 

“Has he hurt you?” Lewis’ voice was tight and Daniel shook his head before remembering that Lewis couldn’t see him.

“No. They haven’t touched me. The new one– Max. He follows me everywhere.” Daniel took a shuddering breath before his jaw clenched. “And this morning I overheard him and Marta talking about calling my doctor. He is not getting me pregnant Lewis, I’ll fucking kill him myself.” His eyes blazed.

“Shh, shh. Calm down– it's ok Love. I’ll come get you. Do you think you can make it to Nico’s?” Lewis cooed over the line, Daniel took a moment to compose himself. He could go to Nico’s but he wouldn’t be alone, Max would would be there.

“Not without my jailer.” Daniel pouted, biting his cuticles.

“Don’t worry about the kid. Get to Nico’s he’ll be expecting you–Val will pick you up. I’ll deal with everything else.”

“I love you.” Daniel mumbled, grateful. He heard Lewis chuckle on the other end of the call and it sent a shiver down Daniel’s spine.

When they hung up, Daniel got dressed. He wore his favourite jewelry and armed himself with his knives and gun. Max was in hallway when he walked out.

“Are you ok Daniel?” Max looked at him concerned and Daniel fought back his glare. He’d gotten the puffiness down but his eyes still looked a little pink.

“I’m fine. I’m going to Nico’s.”

“Already? Viviene said your order wouldn’t be there until Friday.”

“Well, she called and said it's here now.” Daniel raised his brow and licked his lips, trying to remain calm and unsuspecting. He bit his tongue at Max’s blush.

“I will drive you.” 

— - —

Valtteri said nothing, but watched as Lewis made a few calls. It wasn’t until they were driving that he broke his silence. 

“Are you sure about this? It will start a war.” 

Lewis didn’t look phased. “Toto’s aware. I’m gonna do everything to make sure Daniel is safe.”

“He’s safe in his house, with his husband and bodyguard.” Valtteri pointed out, he would follow Lewis wherever– but he needed him to be sure.

“Fuck a war, Daniel is worth it.”

“Then let’s go.”

They grabbed Daniel before his car even left the compound. The left wing of Christian’s mansion going up in smoke provided the perfect cover. 

#mobwife daniel #our beloved #ALTERNATE universe? #a fic of the fic? #dewis

[authortobenamedlater]

E3 deep dive, brought to you by illness and cold medicine, you are warned.

I maybe should start just doing the highs and lows of each episode, because these take forever to write and I’m not sure how interesting they are for the rest of you. I was going to do highs and lows at the end of this post but it got too long.

We open up with Silver Team going rogue at Visegrad Relay, looking for their Cobalt comrades. It’s becoming increasingly clear that not only is this mission off the books, but John hasn’t told his team this. Not great for unit cohesion, Master Chief.

The base is eerily empty and there’s a rhythmic thumping sound. The Covenant? No, just a door opening and closing. Somehow that doesn’t feel much less scary.

Instead of the Covenant, we meet a swarm of Marines led by an impressively gutsy and likely ONI officer who puts herself between Silver Team and the ominously thumping door. She accuses John of stealing a Condor and falsifying a flight plan. This is news to the rest of Silver. John doesn’t care and barges through the door expecting to find Cobalt. He finds a whole lot of nothing. This doesn’t look like a cover-up at all, nope.

Next we whiplash to Ackerson having a touching and mundane moment with his father, who’s senile but not so far gone he doesn’t know he’s senile. Evidently Ackerson has been spilling classified information to his dad. In light of everything else going on, that’s pretty far down on Ackerson’s list of misdeeds. We also learn that “Julia” the mysterious flash clone was Ackerson’s sister. Why did he clone a bunch of her for Halsey? Ackerson Sr. reminds his son “You promised not to let them [the Covenant, presumably] take me alive.” Once again, nothing ominous here.

Then we have Dadmiral Keyes dressing down his overgrown children for ripping through the UCMJ like it’s wet toilet paper. You also get the feeling Keyes is getting squeezed into this and has information he should have shared with Silver, but was ordered not to. John asks if Ackerson is behind this, and everyone knows the answer but can’t say it.

John’s team is rightly furious with him for lying to them. Kai at least tries to reason with him but John’s not hearing it. The audience knows John is right and the UNSC-ONI machine is gaslighting him into thinking he doesn’t see what he knows he’s seeing. However, he’s still being a jerk about it and turning his own people against him. He doesn’t help his case when he mops the floor with his ONI babysitters like Steve Rogers taking out the Hydra guys in The Winter Soldier elevator scene.

Laera is trying to escape the Rubble and go after Soren, only to get wrapped up in Soren’s crew’s plot to steal the “Madrigal money.” Kwan continues to prove herself both useless and useful. With Madrigal glassed now, one has to wonder what role Kwan has to play. At the same time, she’s tough and resourceful, I have to give her that. She also tries to do what’s right. She knew Laera would die and went to rescue her, probably thinking she could reunite mother and son at some point but mom has to be alive for that to happen.

Laera, too, shows herself to be more than just a pretty face, resisting Antares’s interrogation even with a gun to her head. And the part where she says “I can usually reason with my husband” 🤣 it takes a real woman to hang with Soren-066. Plus, Laera always looks fabulous! I want to look that good if I ever get shoved in an airlock.

Got ahead of myself there, but some things work best tackled as a big chunk.

Riz seems to be increasingly disenchanted with Spartan life, not that I can blame her after how John treated her last week. Never mind that she’s been in constant pain for six months. She ends up at Louis’s place where we learn he and Danilo the PT are married. Riz asks Louis what “other things” there are to be besides a Spartan. We don’t get the rest of the conversation, but it looks like Riz might be getting ready to jump ship. She may find her options more limited once Reach falls, though.

Back at the ranch, we discover what actually happened to Cobalt. They were in fact at Visegrad, and ran into the Covenant. We don’t know if this happened before or after Silver Team showed up, but it confirms what we all thought: There’s some conspiracy to keep Covenant activity on Reach under wraps.

Keyes is clearly distraught over the four (remarkably intact) bodies in the morgue. THE DADMIRAL LOVES HIS OVERGROWN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED SPARTAN CHILDREN I am not taking questions on this. The exchange between him and Ackerson here is top-tier. When Ackerson tells Keyes to leave and Keyes says “I won’t run”? I don’t think you’re going to be in season 3, Jacob.

Kai goes to Ackerson, who admires her for defending her “CO.” John isn’t her “commanding officer.” He’s not an officer. I don’t know what they’d call him, though. “Your team leader”? I won’t bug you all with nitpicking terminology. Kai is so stir crazy that she asks to be deployed alone until John is cleared for combat. This, I suspect, is how she ends up with the S-IIIs.

John takes his concerns to Parangosky, who to the surprise of no one, has not really left ONI. He tells her the Covenant is on Reach and no one is listening to him. Parangosky doesn’t give him the help he’s looking for. She tells him to go back to FLEETCOM and lay low, and she’s brought a cadre of spooks to ensure his compliance. This does not placate the increasingly agitated Master Chief.

Ackerson visits Halsey in holo-jail and gives her a speech about how she made the Spartans “fragile” by implanting those pellets. He tells her that “these things [she] made, broken as they may be” will be the foundation for something greater. I suspect this is the Spartan-III program. It’s also what Adun says to Halsey’s clone right before he kills her and dissolves her in acid.

Then the bomb drops: Julia, Ackerson’s sister, was a Spartan who died from the augmentations. Suddenly everything about Ackerson makes sense.

But the bombs aren’t done dropping. Ackerson leaves, then walks back in with none other than Soren-066. He tells Halsey “I didn’t want you to be alone” and walks out. Halsey looks legit TERRIFIED when she sees Soren.

Finally, John goes to see Talia and finds her in church. I’m going Gaga over the religious references this year, you all don’t even know. Talia has a recording of the “interference” on Sanctuary, which we find out is also a prayer offered by the Arbiter not named Thel ‘Vadam, stating his intention to offer Reach as a burnt offering and place the Demon’s head on the altar.

While Talia is translating the prayer, we see a montage that notably shows us Ackerson giving his father a pill, probably cyanide, reiterating his promise that he wouldn’t let the Covenant take his dad alive. He tells his father “I have to go away” which is the third time he’s said as much in two episodes. As he’s walking out, Ackerson brings in a final Julia clone, and his dad thinks he’s seeing his little girl one last time. A teary-eyed Ackerson walks out, and the next time we see him he’s strapped into a troop transport. Going where, we wonder?

Then an explosion shatters the church’s windows and the episode ends.

All this sets us up for…next week it’s all going down.

#halo #halo tv show #halo spoilers

[rosewaterandivy]

I love your writing style and after stalking your blog I found out that you studied English. Got any writing advice for someone who's still trying to figure out and develop their own style? I feel like I have so many ideas but the execution is 👎

Hello sweet thing! 🥰 Thanks for reading and a quick disclaimer before I dive in here: I don’t really even understand my own process/style yet and that is perfectly fine. I think it’s important to take risks in writing to develop skills and see what vibes with you and what doesn’t. So, while I have two degrees in English, I’ve never taken a creative writing class— just wanna get that out there. Now, onto the advice!

Read. Read often and voraciously. This method is tried and true for a reason, and that’s because it works. When I’m lacking in the inspiration department, I read poetry, novels, non-fiction, works by other writers in the community, maybe do a deep-dive with some lyrical analysis— if you know, you know. Seeking out other voices to inspire and teach is paramount.

(Continued under the cut)

To grow as a writer (or, really as a person), you can’t exist in your own silo. You need to engage with other stories. On some level, you should be listening to other’s voices and studying their styles. Otherwise, you’ll stunt your development as a writer. You could also, inadvertently, reinforce bad writing habits, if you’re not expanding your horizons by consuming other author’s works.

And this conversation has been making its run in the community as well as my corner of academia, but I’d be remiss not to touch on it here: there is no such thing as originality in literature. Everything from the Carolingian Cycle to Homeric Hymns to tropes, etc. has already been said and done. But what matters here, truly, is how you can put your spin on something. Have soulmate AUs been done to death? Yes. Is that gonna stop me? Hell to the no! I love that shit, of course I want to engage with that trope and see what I can do with it.

Rhythm. Cadence, flow, whatever you call it— this is crucial to me as a writer and academic. And honestly? I’m still figuring this one out for myself. I tend to talk or ramble as I write, mostly to test out dialogue for how it sounds but also as an editing trick. I tell my students all the time, read your work out loud before assuming it’s all said and done! You’d be amazed at how many things you’ll catch by stumbling over words and phrases that the eye would skip over.

I think a lot of this comes from patterns I’ve picked up from reading. Because I read and listen to other author’s voices and styles, I’m more equipped to see mistakes in my own syntax and voice because I’ve diversified my exposure to other styles of sentence structure, etc. So, yes, this does go back to reading and finding other voices— but it truly does help!

Feel it out. First and foremost, I am a chaotic writer— my GDrive is a mess and I can’t even imagine how many WIPs I have that are just a single sentence or phrase at this point. But everyone has to start somewhere, and for most of us, that takes the form of a sentence, phrase, or occasionally, a single word.

I just kind of just go for it in the docs, to be honest. I’ll get frustrated, walk away, delete (keep a doc designated as a graveyard/junkyard for this purpose, trust me!), get distracted, etc. But that’s okay and to be expected with the creative process. Flow can’t happen without a little resistance at first.

Play with syntax. Would a longer sentence be more meaningful here? Shorter? What about repetition? Think about word choice as well— identify the tone and mood you want to project.

Word Choice. Specific words are used for a calculated focus or effect— think about it. Would you want to hear the smacking of lips from a few tables over on a first date? Or hear the sounds of your roommate going to town on an apple while you’re putting the moves on that hottie from said first date?

Readers can feel the significance and weight of a word, how much space it occupies in a sentence: they have real influence. It’s not just morphemes and phonemes and phonetics; words project experience and sensation, so it’s important to tie your words to your intent or the mood you’re attempting to create.

If I’m writing an intimate scene, I’m not going to use abrasive words that will jar the reader from the tone I’m working so hard to craft. I’ll choose soft words, immersive words — a little repetition, as a treat, so we can sink more gently into the scene. Mention light, texture, employ the softness the surrounds the characters and kinesthetic imagery (imagery describing the actions or movements of the body), but above all, keep it soft.

Synonyms are a wonderful thing! Have a word that’s too clunky for that specific phrase? Find a shorter one; too harsh, find a gentler one; so on and so forth.

This is where reading other stories will help (she says, circling back to point 1). Inevitably, it will diversify your personal vocabularly and your ability to string words together in sentences. The tricks I’ve absorbed by just reading? Innumerous, incalculable and lucky for me, they’re instinct by now.

Format. What’s the goal? If the scene is action heavy, keep the sentences short. Urgent. Focus on the senses we should be aware of in a fight scene. Looking for something more intimate? Stretch things out, suspend time and let people ease into the moment gently.

Short sentences can narrow your focus; longer sentences, the ones that ebb and flow and gather multiple senses, those are some of my favorites— so enriching and immersive.

What view is most important in a given scene? Would a character be more focused on the feel of their beloved’s skin against theirs or the how the hurt reflects in their eyes?

Synesthesia. Ah, yes, my favorite. Synesthasia is a technique adopted by writers to present ideas, characters, or places in such a manner that they appeal to more than one sense, like hearing, sight, smell, and touch at a given time. I am guilty of using this whenever I possibly can because I think being able to embody a scene is crucial to effective writing.

Sensory experience is something that helps me find my way in a narrative. It allows me to settle in. Think about the various qualities of differing sensory experiences, and their consequence. Every sense doesn’t need to be included, just because you can does not mean you should.

Plus, it’s quite convenient for implying intimacy. A character who notices that another character smells of bergamot, cinnamon, or home accomplishes a lot of things in a few words. It immerses the reader in the scene in a very real way; it’s a quick, easy avenue into establishing a history and a relationship between the two characters; and it implies something deeper than a passing acquaintance/platonic interest.

But, I’m also an olfactory snob, so what do I know!

Oof, yeesh, sorry for the ramble here! I think the truth of it is this: I don’t make a lot of these choices consciously. I get stuck somewhere and feel my way around until I can make sense of it again, laying puzzle pieces or clues that I hope others will be able to find when they read it.

I guess my main advice is to read. Read often and well, experience other voices and styles, go outside your comfort zone! If you lock yourself away in that silo or echo chamber, you’ll only reinforce one style or approach— you’ll miss out on so much beauty and creative experiences that the world has to offer!

To close, I’m going to list and tag a few works and authors I’ve found to be instrumental in my reading and writing experience.

Best of luck anon!

QuinAnderson’s The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic

@loveshotzz , @carolmunson, @jo-harrington, @wroteclassicaly , @stevenose , @bettyfrommars (and I’m sure I’m forgetting some at this moment!! I’m sorry 😩) have their own special way of weaving a story, breathing emotion and life into it.

My fic rec tag

Poetry:

Crush by Richard Siken

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz

Night Sky With Exit Wounds & Time Is A Mother by Ocean Vuong

The works of Louise Gluck, Elizabeth Bishop, Gloria Anzaldua, Slyvia Plath, Rilke, Ilya Kaminsky, and Jeanette Winslterson

Movies:

In the Mood for Love

Y tu mamá también

Moonlight

Atonement

#cee’s got mail! #cee’s advice

[piltoversfinest-caitvi]

Christian Linke and Alex Yee Q&A

From here  (will update if there’s more)

With special addition from Amanda’s

Below the cut are the questions and answers they provided

Q: Anything in regards to an art book for this show? Would love nothing more than to secure a copy of one.

Christian: There is one in the works! I remember talking to some folks at Fortiche and Riot about it a few months ago. I'm not sure where they are in the process, but it's coming for sure.

Q: Hi! Do you think Caitlyn and Vi shippers will be happy with the upcoming season?

Alex: There's that part they might like, and that part they're probably gonna hate.

Amanda (A reply to Alex’s post): I take full responsibility for both. And stand by that they make the show better!

Q: How did you all go about capturing such minute and captivating micro-expressions? Also, Caitlyn and Vi have been really fun for my wife and I to watch together as a lesbian couple. We really hope we get to see their relationship grow in new and interesting ways. I'm curious about how their roles as "Piltover's Finest" will differ from how they do in LoL. Will caitlyn still be a sheriff, or more of a private eye working independently from the Enforcers?

Also, what is the likelihood we will see them as official "girlfriends" next season? Will it mainly be implied or outright stated? I realize if you can't share much, but I (and my wife) are dying to know.

Lastly, will we get to see the entire tattoo on Vi's back at any point?

Christian:

I appreciate you speaking to the smaller details of the character moments. Generally speaking, people in animation will advise against those silent beats where subtle expressions mean as much as any word could, but that's the sort of drama we really craved in the animation space. We simply have awesome animators :) And a wildly talented animation director Bart Manoury, who defined that entire look for Arcane.

For Vi's tattoo -- we have the complete design, I'm not quite sure why we haven't shared it with everyone. Let me inquire about that.

Regarding Vi and Caitlyn, I wish I could say more at this point, but a lot of the answers I'd give you would spoil the experience on screen. I'm confident in the direction we're taking it, and I very much wanna hear from you once Season 2 is out.

Q:  what we should expect for Viktor in season 2?

Christian: Everything

Q: Will there be anymore merch drops for Arcane? O: I would love to have posters or even figures/statues/nendoroids of any of the characters!

Christian: Yes. I myself am the sort of person that likes to have dozens of statues, trinkets and figurines on his shelf. The underwhelming amount of merch during Season 1's release is very high on my list of gripes. We're actively working on making sure that we do much better next time around.

Alex: I certainly hope so!

Q: Are there plans to release the scripts for Arcane? I would love to study these.I know you guys don't come from a typical Hollywood background and that's what I love about Arcane, it's so fresh and new. How did you learn how to create a show? How did you write the finale to encapsulate so much emotion and meaning?

Christian: Yes! Quite frankly, we just haven't gotten to consolidating all the different versions yet. Some of it also touches on Season 2 spoiler risks, so I'm afraid we still need to find the time to go through the mountain that is our Season 1 scripts. ;o

In the beginning, we certainly had no idea how to craft a TV series. Personally, I tried to read a lot of books about story crafting and screenwriting. I can't say that I found many of them useful, but at least they all confirmed the general framework of act structures and character drive.

We spent a good amount of time in meetings with other folks who worked in the industry, always looking for that secret sauce that unlocks a TV story structure, and... turns out it doesn't exist. So once you come to that conclusion, it becomes a bit easier to roll up your sleeves and go "alright, let's find our own". At this point, we have our own "metrics" and processes to track plot and character. It's always somewhat messy when you intend to craft a complex story, but that's just part of the work.

Good story (in my mind) is all about hard choices. Many writers talk about being "character driven" without actually writing character driven stories. If you ask your hero whether or not they will help save the world from an alien invasion, the answer always is "yes, duh". Thus, the character doesn't REALLY have a decision to make. The sole question that remains is "HOW are they gonna overcome their obstacle?" -- which is entertaining, but it really doesn't drive the story forward with full autonomy.

I think Alex and I gravitate toward stories that leave characters with costly or even impossible choices.

Amanda (Add onto Christian’s post): I think of this in terms of what a character hopes and fears. You have to know what these are (and make sure the audience knows too) and use them to tug a character towards impossible decisions. I also think you have to be able to relate to these hopes and fears. As Christian mentioned, the fear of dying in an alien invasion isn’t relatable. Neither is the hope of winning a civil war (for most people), but what made Silco’s quest for Zaun’s freedom relatable is that it was rooted in his hope that he could win back his brother Vander’s respect. And without his respect, Silco feared he was the “dirty little thing” his station in life always ascribed to him. Fearing you aren’t good enough, and craving respect from family are deeply relatable emotions. This is what a “character driven story” means to me!!

Q: I've watched this show many many times, introducing it to new people, and always finding another detail or two I didn't during previous watches! While writing the story, what was the most complex story-telling issue you guys ran into?

Christian: We wanted all of our characters to be "real", and thus, make imperfect decisions. The finale of the 3rd episode was scary, because both Vi and Powder really mess up and make terrible decisions. At the same time, we didn't want these choices to alienate them entirely.Characters like Jinx and Silco constantly murder and manipulate. Can an audience still root for them? It's a bit of a dance between their many risky actions and choices.

Amanda (Add onto Christian’s): Again, I think this comes from relatable motivations. Jinx, (and Powder before her), was always desperate to prove herself worthy — worthy of her sister’s faith in her, worthy of Silco’s faith in her. We shouldn’t have to prove ourselves worthy of love, but that is a struggle we all face in so many different ways. A character making terrible decisions is much more forgivable if you too have felt what they’re feeling. I always say I love characters that do the right thing for the wrong reasons, or the wrong thing for the right reasons, everything else is boring!

Q: If you could have made arcane about any other part of runeterra which one has most interest to you?

Christian: Sheesh... there's a lot. ;) We've been working on Arcane for over 7 years now, so naturally, you have ideas for other stories over time.I think the "grimsical" tone that Arcane features works well for Alex and I. That said, I'm really interested in exploring some more quirky stuff as well. The League IP has a lot to offer, it's very diverse in cultural and tonal aspects.

Alex: There are stories I'd love to tell all over Runeterra. One of the joys of working on Arcane was having the opportunity to dive deep into the style, look, and culture of Piltover/Zaun. At Riot we of course have our ideas, but there is still a magic of discovery whenever you invest time conceptualizing one of Runeterra's regions.I've always been a fan of the intrigue/machinations of Noxus, the aesthetics and history of Ionia, the mythos of the Freljord.

Q: In an episode of “Into the Rift”, it’s said that the early drafts of Arcane weren’t good. How much of that draft and the final show are similar or different? Just character arcs and interactions? Major plot points? Or was the entire idea of the show changed?

Christian: A lot (if not all) of the story structure and character arcs were the same.

Crafting the episodes and scenes in a fashion that builds the right tension over time and tracks all the parallel stories wasn't really clicking yet at that time, so Alex and I getting help from the outside and learning more about how to "break an episode" really unlocked the episodes to be stronger.

Alex: The broad strokes of the show never really changed. I'd say the biggest evolutions concerned pacing and development of emotional storytelling. We were more plot-focused before that. We always wanted big emotional beats between characters, we just strengthened their integration to the overall story.

Often, a slight shift in our approach significantly changed the spirit of a scene or beat. We were fortunate to have brainstormed so many moments before we rebooted the story though, it gave us a wealth to draw from when we went into the proper writer's room.

Q: What were some of the small touches in the art and writing of Arcane that didn't mean that much in the big picture, but that you really enjoyed personally?

Christian: Man... also too many to count. ;) The wonderful thing about our collaboration with Fortiche is that artists at the studio are really empowered. An example that Alex likes to bring up and that we all really love is the ash tray in Silco's office. We didn't instruct them to make it look like Jinx painted it in her trademark whimsical style, they did that themselves. They were tasked with designing a simple ash tray and thought, "how can I do more with this than the minimum?" -- and so they did. Now, an ash tray tells a story.

Q: Will season 2 be the final season in the Piltover and Zaun region? Will there be more interactions between Ekko and Jinx in season 2?

Christian: I don't think answering this first question would actually benefit you, so I'm not gonna do it. Oh yes (to the q of Ekko and Jinx).

Q: Will there be another season of bridging the rift or any more behind the scenes content?

Christian: I don't know if it's gonna be another full Bridging The Rift, but I know that we're filming BTS material all around. So in some shape or form, there are gonna be more glimpses behind the curtain for you. :)

Q: If you could choose a single word to describe season 2, what would you pick?

Christian: War

Alex: Rubicon

Amanda: Well I’m more of a sap than these guys, but I say “forgiveness.”

Q: What were some of the biggest influences on Arcane in terms of writing or animation?

Christian: Alex and I were talking a lot about Peaky Blinders while we were working on Season 1.For animation, there really isn't that much I would reference to be frank. When we started Arcane, there wasn't really anything out there that had the look and style we had in mind.

Amanda: Let’s not forget our “Lord of the Rings” dollar jar. Bunch of bills in there from you, Christian!!

Christian: True. Though Arcane development started long before Spiderverse.

Q: When is season 2 coming?

Christian: B-)

Q: How long do you see yourself doing Arcane? Can you see the series becoming a revolving door of stories told from different regions of Runeterra at some point?Have you ever had a great idea for something in the show, that came too late? eg: animation is too far along to change

Christian: We definitely want to explore other regions. At the same time, we've all seen shows and movies that try to cram in too many different perspectives too quickly. I think we gotta earn our way into a larger world view first. So definitely coming in the future, but we have to find the right pace for the story we wanna tell.

Regarding having an idea for something that came too late -- yes, constantly. ;) As someone much wiser than us once said: "Art is never finished, only abandoned".

Q: Does "Our Love" image on the record in the show refer to personifications of Piltover and Zaun? Since the girls are colour coded as respective cities over big red-dot in the sky.

Christian: Indeed!

Q: When making the soundtrack for the show, what did you and/or others have in mind for selecting artists and sounds for what would end up making the cut? Were there any you were considering that didn’t make it?

Christian: It starts with the editors at Fortiche looking for the right moment(s) in every episode that could feature a "music video moment". Usually, the vibe and mood of the story boards paints a target that we then try to cast appropriately.

You tend to have a shortlist of 5-10 artists that you then try to hunt.

During Season 1, it was really hard to find artists, because we were an unproven studio, and a lot of artists weren't interested in animated series. Luckily, the ones who joined us did so because they really believed in the vision, more so than it being an easy win.

Amanda: The storyboard artists make the intention of the scene work. Without them our writing would be boring, flat words. Coming from a live action background, the collaboration in the boards feels like working with a director and the actors all at once — they decide camera angles and blocking which is everything to the emotion and feeling of a scene.

Q: Did you guys overall have a favorite scene or episode from the final product? What was it like/how did it feel to take in all of the positive reactions, to witness the major impact that Arcane left? 

Christian: The finale of Episode 6 is always very powerful to me. Probably that. It was a powerful feeling, because you poured your entire existence into this project for over half a decade, well knowing that the League audience is unmerciful. It was super-scary to imagine that they may not like it. That's a chunk of your life you'd never get back. Thankfully, it worked out. :)

Alex: Definitely one of the hardest questions to answer. Kind of a copout to say the dinner scene (109), but I always marvel at the emotion Fortiche was able to evoke in animation there. Similar feeling for the bridge fight (107), even though I do really love the intergration with music and how much story is told.

I'll throw a nod to the Chuck/Thieram scene with Jinx (106). It is/was a moment of general silliness, both in the writing act and the show that doesn't always feel like it fits with the rest of the tone, but it makes me smile that it survived all the way to the finish.

Q: What's your favorite episode of the show? Did Silco braid Jinx's hair? How long did Jinx's tattoos take? Who's your favorite character?

Christian: Probably 106. Yes, though he most definitely sucked at it, no matter how much he tried. Eventually, he paid someone to invent a machine that can braid Jinx's hair, but Jinx would always tinker with it, to a point where it once nearly strangled her in the process. He once asked Sevika to do it, but Sevika threatened to quit. So Silco had to keep doing it, until Jinx was old enough to learn it. Not sure I understand the question. Heimerdinger.

Q: You mentioned passionate tweets on social media. Does that mean the creators of Arcane see a large part of the fans tweets, fanart, disccusion?

Christian: Yeah, we see a good amount. Though Arcane's fan art on twitter tends to be a bit of a minefield. :X

Alex: We see quite a bit, but I have the feeling it's only the tip of the iceberg. I wish I had the fluency to dip into more of the fan reactions from all the non-English regions where Arcane was released.

Q: Are there people in the production crew you'd like to give a shout out to and why? Who are the unsung heroes of Arcane? What's a small detail or easter egg in the show that no one has discovered yet? What is your favorite plugin/audio effect that you used to produce any song in the Arcane soundtrack? Any teases for S2?

Christian:

I'd say that the story board artists are truly the creative unsung heroes. Our story boarders are FANTASTIC, and the amount of things they have to juggle is insane. And yet, none of their work ends up in the final picture, which always makes me sad.

There's loads. I think someday -- maybe in a few years -- I'll wanna check in on that and see which have just not gotten discovered. :)

Gulfoss. It's pure magic.

Q: Are all the scripts complete for Season 2?

Christian: Yes. Though there's always some amount of tweaks that happen in the process. Seeing story boards & hearing voices for the first time makes you realize that something doesn't quite click, or there's new opportunities you didn't recognize before.

Q: What were some events and actions that you really liked and wanted in the show, but had to rewrite or cut because they didn’t properly push story arc of some characters, or went against how that character should act at that point in their arc? Or what was your proudest achievement with this show that was cut, rewritten, or something that you knew the viewing audience would never know about?

Christian: There was another scene in Episode 107, a flashback between Ekko and Powder that takes place a few months after the end of Episode 103. It was a very touching moment during which Ekko tries to save Powder from Silco, but Powder refuses to go with him. "Powder is dead" .Alas... sometimes, it is your darlings that end up on the chopping block. Animation is expensive, and time is very much so money.

Q: How did y’all decide to include Get Jinxed by Djerv in the show, even though it was created for the LoL version of Jinx back in 2013? Does that song actually exist in the Arcane universe, or was it just part of soundtrack/Jinx’s imagination?

Christian: The song has a lot of meaning for us, because it was the first time Fortiche and I worked together on something. The beginning of the whole relationship.I don't think the song exists in the Arcane universe, no. That was more a selfish little moment for us. :)

Q: One of the things I really liked about Arcane was how there was no fat. There was not a single scene that felt tacked on or unnecessary, but you still managed to flesh out the world. Noxus was a great example. Their inclusion made the world feel bigger but it didn’t slow down the plot for a second.I know it’s a group effort deciding which scenes to cut but I was wondering what you’re criteria is when making those decisions.

Christian: I know that some people said Arcane moves at a pace that's too brisk, but both Alex and I like it when episodes really move the story forward. We all have our favorite TV shows that often enough present us filler episodes. We just didn't want that.

We followed act structures per episode. Every character story line would get their 3 acts, plus "twist" to set up the future conflict.

We did also have a piece of paper in our writer's room that spelled out our criteria for a successful scene:

- How does this scene develop the character?

- How does this scene further the plot?

- How does this scene teach the audience something new about the world?

​You don't always get all 3, but it needs to have at least 2.

Q: Is it possible for Mel Medarda to return in Season 2? :c

Alex: Solidly possible.

Q: Are there gonna be any sex scenes in S2?

Christian: Ew, no! Gross. Maybe.

Alex: Hmm... any characters springing to mind?

Christian: I dunno Alex. Haven't seen anything on social media that makes me believe people even thought about this.

Amanda: They hired me back for season two, which means there will be sex. I’m the reason it’s in season one.

Q: Why did you name the show Arcane?  When you were first developing the show who would you say was the character that changed the most from how you originally developed/ thought of them? Did Jinx and Vander have a close relationship? Does Jinx actually see Vander as someone who betrayed Silco?

Christian: Magic ties a lot of our world together. Every region, every champion has a different relationship with it.

Viktor for sure. I kinda just wanna leave it there. ;P

They weren't as close as Vander and Vi were. Vander was the person that Vi looked up, whereas she was the person Powder looked up to. I don't think that Jinx necessarily blamed Vander for what happened, though she does think (now) that Vander chose wrong.

Q: I want to ask if there's anything you can share about the Firelights! I'd definitely love to know more about them and how they were conceptualised, some more information about the members if possible, perhaps even word on their involvement on next season? 

I think the idea of "Hope for a better Zaun" is one of the core tenets of Ekko, and I'm certainly proud to see that he has a group that is actively working towards that goal. I'm satisfied with where you've taken his storyline and I can definitely say you guys completely understand him!

Christian: Appreciate that! The firelights were inspired by and named after the green insects that you see flying around especially in episode 107. They come out of nowhere, swooping in, zipping through the air, and they look cool. :)

It happens easily that a place like Zaun gets written off because dangerous experiments and shady streets scare people off. In many ways, however, it is the kind of place where a truly revolutionary technology or idea can find purchase. So if you ask me, Zaun really is the place where the true magic can happen, and Ekko totally gets that and wants to enable and amplify that.

Q: Who was the easiest character to write and who was the hardest?

Christian: Hardest I'd say Silco and Jinx. They're both stylized in very different ways. Alex is the specialist for their dialogue on our team.

Alex: They all give you trouble here and there, but I would say on average Heimerdinger and Jayce were easier to write than Silco and Jinx.

Q: Will we ever get to see a younger silco and vander pre betrayal? Also any flashbacks to silco being a dad to powder when he first took her in? 

Christian: You will, in fact.

Amanda (Reply to Christian): Spoiler! In the episode that always makes me cry.

Q: Will we ever learn about why Vander betrayed Silco? What was Silco planning on doing after he gained the Nation of Zaun? Would he have attempted to improve Zaun? Even though Silco is dead, can we expect to see more of him in s2? (ex. Flashbacks and mentions of him from other characters?) What are your opinions on Silco overall? Did you expect to see him as such a fan favorite?

Christian: Silco was a very special character. During the early phase of development, we talked about everyone's chip on their shoulder. Silco's was being "the dirty little thing". Never being enough. Always having topside look down on him. He could never quite past it, and if it would take his life to escape that existence, so be it. He had nothing to lose.

At the end of the season, he realizes far too late what it's like to have something to lose. Just like Vander, radical notions begin to stumble when your loved ones are threatened by your ideology. "It all makes sense now, brother."

I don't think he had a plan after the Nation of Zaun. It was an impossible pipe dream from the beginning, and if you ask me, achieving it would probably have ruined him.

We did not expect Silco to become such a fan favorite. Jason Spisak did such a wonderful job, it's hard to put in words just how transformative his performances have been.

Alex: We've always liked the relationship between Silco and Vander. It's the original rift that informs the generational split between the sisters. I'll just say, it's a story we'd like to tell.

I think Silco always wanted to improve Zaun, though there are always trade-offs to progress. To me, the real question is who would have helped him realize this vision, and what would have mattered to him at that point in time.

Silco is one of those characters you can get addicted to writing, but I don't think we ever expected him to be such a fan favorite. It really blew my mind when some people engaged with him more as a father figure than Vander.

Amanda (Add onto Alex’s post): To me, the story of Arcane at its core is whether or not the sisters will repeat the sins of their fathers. As Vi and Jinx’s story unfolds we hope you’ll recognize the parallels between Vander and Silco’s story and be desperate for them to take a different path, impossible as that path seems to be.

Q: Did you begin writing the story with the idea of having an antagonistic corrupting/nurturing force to serve as the catalyst for who Jinx would become, or was he developed gradually over time as the right piece to fill what the script needed?

Alex: We knew fairly early that we wanted to have, as Christian put it, a non-champion "svengali" to oppose Vander in the first three episodes. The world felt small when every character happened to be a champion, and we liked the idea of the principle villain being someone who needed others to fight for him. It felt so oppositional to League.

However, we didn't initially plan for Silco to have such a presence throughout the latter half of the season, that developed over time. In fact, we were nervous about giving him too much screen time once the story with Vi and Jinx was rolling. I do remember us asking ourselves right up to the end whether or not Silco would have traded Jinx for his vision of Zaun.

Q: What's a piece of advice you'd give to people trying to create interesting/dynamic characters and stories?

Alex: For me, the best moments come from characters when they surprise you. It's easy to feel omnipotent/omniscient when you are a storyteller. You're usually one step ahead. But sometimes, as you brainstorm all the ways a character might handle a situation or argue a point, they say or do something you hadn't considered. In the best instances, it knocks you off-kilter as much as their opponent in the scene/story. I guess this is all to say, strive to make your characters cleverer than you.

Q: Which scene in the show holds a special meaning to you and why? Possibly because you relate to it personally or there's a funny story behind it from during production.

Alex: There are many, but I'll call out Silco's monologue at the beginning of 103 "Ever wonder what it's like to drown?"This used to be the opening to the show. It sort of encapsulates the core of the story. I think after writing this with Christian, and hearing Jason's performance, it was the first time he looked at me and thought "you might actually be able to write." Of course, I quickly disabused him of this fantasy.

Amanda (Add onto Alex’s post): And it’s my fault that this beautiful sequence is no longer the opening of the show. But I love what it adds to the gut punch of episode 103 and I’ll defend that choice until the day I die. (Even if Alex doesn’t exactly agree with me…)

Q: How did you decide the tone for Arcane? It has adult themes and topics but presents them with such maturity despite being seemingly high fantasy. Was the tone decided from the beginning?

Alex: Tone was the original looming question. We decided we needed to see Vi and Jinx in their younger years as sisters in order to feel the loss and yearning as they struggled to reconnect, but this also made the show feel more "kiddy." I remember calling Christian after having an epiphany that our tone could be like that of the edgier anime I appreciated growing up - no idea why this didn't occur sooner, it just hadn't felt as much like League at the time. For me, anime straddled a tonal line unlike anything else at the time - the bridge from childhood to adulthood.

Once that locked into place, it got a lot easier for me to find the story, although you're always wondering if this or that moment pushes too far. The scene where Singed injects Jinx with Shimmer gave us pause for a little while.

Some anime refs: Hellsing, Berserk, Ghost in the Shell, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo, Gungrave

Q: One question: Who came up with the idea, for Jinx Vs Ekko fight scene, it was a work of art, absolutely surreal experience, so many emotions and exposition in such small amount of time.And also on the topic : how in the world did You managed to fit so, so, so many of such scenes in only nine episodes? I mean, on top of my head, flare scene, Victors run and the climax! So much emotions on screen, i couldn't handle it.

Alex: The credit goes almost entirely to Fortiche and the music team on the bridge fight. 107 felt like a fulcrum-point in their authorship of the series - weaving their music video superpowers with the storytelling.

How we crammed so many scenes in? We wrote scripts that were too long and then battled in editing to save as many darlings as possible. (Slightly joking, but slightly not.)

Thanks for watching!

Q: Now that it's been a year, and you've been able to properly see the praise and criticism of the series, is there anything you wish you did differently? Did you expect it to blow up as much as it did?

Alex: My strategy is more to try to learn and adapt as opposed to rue the missed opportunities. Luckily, I'd say a lot of what we saw in reactions to season 1 aligned well with what we were focused on in season 2, though we did adjust emphasis here and there when we felt like fans had a strong connection with certain beats.

I don't think we ever expected it to have quite the reception it had, though we were always very confident in the quality of our voice actors' performances and the artistic brilliance of Fortiche.

Q: Will we get to know more about the mysterious wizard, who saved Jayce and his mom, in upcoming seasons?

Alex: There will be magic.

Q:  I wanted to ask if you could share a list of the champs you worked on during your time on a League, since not many people may know what you worked on prior to Arcane but I loved the creative AMAs you used to host on the forums lime for Zyra and Varus.

Alex: When I was on League, champions would always have an assigned writer/creative focused principally on their story and thematics, but it takes a village to develop a champion, so it would be disingenuous to take credit for many aspects of what they became. Some of my favorite contributions were on champions to whom I wasn't assigned. Sometimes the heart of a champion was present before they came across our desks. And then players could also imbue champions with characteristics/meaning that superseded our intentions (Blitzcrank springs to mind).

That caveat aside, some of the champs I worked on who are close to my heart despite murdering me on Summoner's Rift: Lee Sin, Graves, Leona, Caitlyn, Varus, Lulu, Thresh, Ahri, Riven, Draven, Viktor, Irelia, Nocturne, Jarvan, Karma, Maokai, Nautilus, Sejuani, Sona, Wukong, Vladimir...

There was also a lot of side content and legendary skins (I recently recalled Christian and I working together on the first PROJECT video.) It's important to note a lot of these characters were significantly deepened in updates and later content. Working at Riot is more about doing your best to carry and pass a baton than being an auteur.

Q: will we ever see vi's abs

Alex: I'll put in a request.

Q: When you where writing it, did you have any moments where everything just connected and you thought “wow! I can’t believe we’re this clever!”? If so, when? 

Alex: I think what would happen more often is that I would see the end result of something I wrote and think "Wow! Thank heavens Fortiche, the voice actors, and all the other teams managed to make me look like something other than a blathering idiot!"

Of course... no one can stop me all the time.

Q: I believe Riot executives have realized the importance of Arcane to the company, does their support make production easier than before? Will season 2 come out quicker because of that?

Alex: Their support is a huge part of why Arcane has the time, trust, and resources to hit the quality we aim for. People who've worked in the industry always tell us how rare and special our situation is. However, I'd say that extra trust is more likely to mean the season would incubate for more time, rather than less.We know you're all waiting though. 

We always try to find the sweet spot between bringing you content and trying to improve/polish it.

Q: In the scene where Finn tries persuading Sevika into betraying Silco, Finn mentioned something about "bigger fish than silco". I feel like this was potential foreshadowing to who will fill the power vacuum Silco left, but I'm not sure. Was Finn referencing someone within the scope of Season 1, or was he talking about someone/something we'll see in the future? (cause it makes me wanna think he was referencing Urgot potentionally)

At the end of the Bridging the Rift, y'all mentioned wanting to expand to other Runeterra regions in animation. Will these new series be anthology to Arcane, or will it be directly/partially carrying on some of Arcane's plotlines?

When and if there are more animated shows outside of Piltover and Zaun, is Fortiche willing to make these projects or can we see different animation studios throwing their hat in the ring? (ie Japanese studio animates Ionia series)

Alex:

Heh, I wondered if this stood out to anyone. There is someone he's referencing, who does capitalize on Silco's death, though I don't know if this will be apparent in season 2. It's one of the things we wanted to connect, but didn't feel was important enough to sacrifice some of the other scenes we wanted.

No specifics to report yet, but we do hope we'll be able to feel a connection between different stories we might tell, even if the camera moves to a very different place.

We love working with Fortiche and (hopefully) vice versa. We also want to explore a range of styles for League content. The question is how to best have the capacity to deliver stories regularly without diluting the quality.

Q: Will there be information about Orianna somewhere in Arcane?

Will there be hints in Arcane Season 2 about Warwick's creation?

Will Janna have any mention in Arcane?

Amanda: Yes! (not sure if a yes to all three or a specific one)

#arcane #piltover's finest #jinx #silco #caitvi #caitlyn kiramman #vi #viktor #jayce talis #mel #artbook #christian linke #alex yee #ama #reddit #timebomb #merchandise #merch #vander #mel medara #season 2 #amanda #amanda overton #text post #misc

[even-disco-baby]

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “Have you solved the case yet? Do you know who killed me?” Every word reeks of decomposition.

“It was the drink.”

“It was the job.”

“It was this city.”

“It was the leaver.”

“It was failure.”

“It was the whole world.”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — He laughs. It’s a terrible sound, like the final groan of air escaping dead lungs. “The world has failed us all, brother. And we are all the world. Killing each other… and ourselves.” His bulging eyes peer at you. “You know the truth, Harry. So tell me why. *Why did you do it?* Why did you try to erase me from your own mind?”

“Because I hate you.”

“Because everyone hates you.”

“Because I can’t live with you.”

“Because you can’t live with anyone.”

“I didn’t kill you! I *saved* you! This is what it took to survive!”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “Is it really?” Somehow, what’s left of his face looks sad. “You know, brother, I don’t think you’re wrong. That’s the hardest part.”

EMPATHY — You made the only choice you could live with that day. He knows that. But he wishes that *he* had never become something that you had to kill to survive.

LIMBIC SYSTEM — Do you understand now? The consequence of leaving the warm dark? You have killed the animal you used to be, but you will never be truly rid of him. You are his living tomb. Is that what you want?

YOU — “What choice do I have?”

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN — Oblivion, baby. You’ve got lots of choices, actually. Doesn’t have to be the *big one.* You could go about it like that boy’s father, just check out of all your responsibilities. Get so high you can’t even hear the arrears knocking at your door.

ENDURANCE — Your body is already balanced on a knife’s edge. It probably wouldn’t take much to induce a coma like Cuno’s dad.

LIMBIC SYSTEM — It would be a kinder way to live out what little time you have left. Nothing to fear anymore. No future to dread. Just… sleep.

VOLITION — No future at all. Is that what you want? No more songs to sing, or drinks to share, or spaces to build. No helium lights or whistled harmonies. No stories. Just you, alone in the dark. The end.

“It’s easier to be alone. I can’t bear to disappoint people anymore.”

“Then let it end. I’m tired.”

“No one wants to *do* any of those things with me, anyway.”

“I want a future! But why is it so fucking hard to stay alive to see it?”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “There’s no reason, brother. That’s the saddest thing. We are the world. We could make it easy.”

RHETORIC — But it’s the people who struggle the most to survive who are trying the hardest to make it easy for each other. And it is the people for whom it is already easy who make it hardest on others. And so nothing ever changes.

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “It was hard for me, too. But I never tried to make life easier for anyone but myself. And now here you are, knee deep in the shit I left behind. *Our* shit. Funny how that works.”

EMPATHY — He’s sorry. He would take everything back if he could, just to spare you.

INLAND EMPIRE — He can’t. No one can.

YOU — “…I’m sorry I killed you.”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “I was already a dead man, Harry. You can’t be what I was and live in the world. You hear me? You can’t be what I was anymore.”

EMPATHY — No more cruelty, he begs you. No more selfishness. No more letting the world burn in hopes that you’ll go up in flames with it.

“Don’t worry. I’d sooner die than ever let you come back to life.”

“I can’t make promises like that. I barely even know who *I* am, yet. Maybe I’m even worse than you.”

“I’ll be better. I swear.”

[Reach out and touch the dead man.]

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — The swollen eyes close as you reach up to touch his arm. You cannot reach high enough to stroke his hair like you did for the hanged man, but this is already more kindness than he ever expected from you.

EMPATHY — He knows that you will never forgive him. Nor will many people. But that you feel any tenderness at all toward him makes his face morph into something less rotten. More human.

YOU — “There, there, dead man… You were someone’s child… It’s all over now.”

INLAND EMPIRE — It’s not over for you. It never seems to be over. You will keep making corpses and tombs of yourself over and over again until the day you die.

VOLITION — So do we all. That is the price of change. But tombs are monuments of love. They are not such terrible things to be.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #suicide tw #hanging tw #thinking abt. recovery. and how sometimes it’s outside forces that kill the person u were and make you into a tomb #and sometimes you have to do it to yourself. you have to be better but you also have to carry who you were #anyway sorry for this one being darker jdgsdjhx

[loimposibleesloquenoseintenta]

The labyrinth

Summary: Willow Everdeen Mellark arrives at the University in the Capitol and meets her roommate, a strange girl with light hair. How will their first encounter go? This is a short AU set roughly 30 years after the events of Mockingjay. It explores Willow's first time at the Capitol, her ideas about its people and the beggining of a friendship, or maybe more. Cassie or Cassandra is an original character with an interesting family history (guess who she is related to). I might turn this into a proper fic one day, but for now this is a glimpse of what could be. With no further ado, enjoy!

On the way to the University, I take in everything around me. Buildings, stores, vehicles, people. Above all, people. The images from home really do not do justice to the riotous aesthetics of the Capitol citizens. An amalgam of colors, fabrics and shapes swirls through the window and I almost get dizzy. But I force myself to keep watching. After all, this is what I wanted right? To experience this unknown world far from my simple District 12.

I stop for a second thinking of my mother. Right now, she's probably hunting in the woods to avoid her thoughts. To avoid any thought about her daughter stuck in the middle of this enormous city, which must have left so many memories marked on her skin.

The driver's voice brings me back to reality, announcing our arrival. I pay and thank him before getting out, coming face to face with the most imposing structure I’ve ever seen. Ancient columns, tall carved gates, and a pristine staircase dominate the entrance, packed with students.

I feel a tickling in my chest as I walk into the crowd. Several heads follow me as I pass, probably noticing that I'm not from around here. Although it is nothing new for districts to send their children to study at the Capitol, the numbers remain low. I wink at them without thinking twice, causing a few blushes, before leaving them behind.

After putting some documents in order, I finally head to what will be my bedroom for the next few years. I wonder if my partner has arrived yet. Will she be from a District like me? That would make the transition easier. Although, challenges never scared me, anyway.

As I get to the last hallway, I see that the door is already open. Looks like I won't be able to choose the bed. Whatever, it's time for the truth. I knock to get her attention, and she quickly turns around. The morning light reflects on her bright hair, and her eyes stay fixed on me. What a strange girl. She stands petrified, her next move undecipherable. Is she scared of me? Maybe Capitol people are as exaggerated as everyone says. Well, Effie is living proof of that, but that's part of her charm. If anything, my experience with my aunt gives me an advantage now. So, I offer her my hand.

“Hi, nice to meet you. You must be my roommate. I'm Willow.”

She blinks a few times, as if waking up. She gets closer to shake my hand and her floral scent reaches my nose. When we touch, I feel her silk like skin. And the coldness of her fingers.

“I’m Cassie. Sorry, I swear I'm not always like this. I'm still getting used to this place and my head is a mess.”

Her voice is sweet, but it doesn’t have the ring I was expecting from a Capitol girl. I take a better look at her clothes and I realize she’s far from those characters I drove by today. Was I mistaken?

“It's okay. I get what you mean. It’s all new to me here. The Capitol's sure bigger than it looks on TV, huh?”

I was waiting for her to boast proudly about everything this city had to offer to its newcomers, like any citizen would do. But it didn’t happen.

“Yeah, ever since I’ve got here, I’ve felt like I'm in a huge labyrinth.”

She looks away, and I notice how she rubs her hands nervously. She reminds me of my brother, when he gets carried away with worry instead of facing his problems. And if there's one thing I'm good at, is at getting him out of his head.

“Well, seems like luck’s on our side.” I say arranging my bags on the empty bed.

“What do you mean?” She asks me with a raised eyebrow.

“If we wanna make it out of the labyrinth, we'll have a better chance together, right?”

It takes her a few seconds to get what I mean, but when she does, my pulse quickens. She smiles. And then I realize. She is not strange. She is beautiful.

#the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #coriolanus snow #peeta mellark #post mockingjay #toastbabies #toast babies #everlark #everlark family #everlark as parents #everlark headcanon #everlark headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #the hunger games fanfiction #president snow #willow everdeen #willow mellark #lucy gray baird #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

[ad0rechuu]

★ MILKY WAY. ━━ (000) ASK THEM ANYTHING part 2

💌 ZERO SAYS. wow it’s over! it feels bittersweet and emotional! i can’t believe it to be honest, it doesn’t feel real yet but i am very grateful for everything and also for the questions! i deleted the asks bcs i’ll answer it here but i got nearly teary eyed reading trough them again! i wanna be sappy and continue talking but ill keep it to myself for now because i think i should say everything in the afterword <3 i love you and i hope you’ll enjoy the last (special) chapter of mw! you can find part 1 here

❪ # i ❫ : What inspired your solo "Milky Way"? ━━ to yn

from @meginthebuilding27

YN : i was watching a drama when i wrote the music but the lyrics wouldn’t come to me, that was until i started writing with hwa, san and mingi, afterwards it was easy and i just wrote how they made me feel

❪ # ii ❫ : Did you ever think about the fact that she would find your fan accounts / So my question is would you all have ever told Yn about your fan accounts if sera never put two and two together? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @meginthebuilding27 & anon

SEONGHWA : I feel ashamed saying this but I don’t think I expected our relationship to ever progress to the point where telling her could be considered a possibility to be honest

SAN : I considered telling her when she found out about my crush but then I just couldn’t

MINGI : No it never even crossed my mind

❪ # iii ❫ : What did you feel when you finally released your first single? And how do you expect it to be perceived as from fans, what feelings should we get? ━━ to yn

from @jaehunnyy

YN : It was insane, I released it as a distraction for myself but instead it made me miss them more. As for the fans, it was a lot better perceived than I expected but I think everyone should make up their own meaning about it, it’s more fun that way. (However I wrote it with the intention of capturing the feeling of falling in love)

❪ # iv ❫ : What team are you guys on? Team Hwa, San, or Mingi? If possible please justify your answers ? ━━ to ateez (except psh, cs & smg)

from @seonghwaddict

HONGJOONG : Team Hwa! I hate to pick favorites but I was going to try to set Seonghwa up with Yn before I knew that she was his idol just because I think they would fit together like puzzle pieces

YUNHO : Team Mingi! Because he’d commit a war crime if I would say anything else

YEOSANG : Team Yuna! I like chaos and she can do so much better than these losers

WOOYOUNG : Team San! I trust Yn with san, San can’t be handled by just anyone you know, it takes a special kind of person

JONGHO : Team leave-Jongho-out-of-this.

❪ # v ❫ : I just wanna know their love languages! ━━ to yn, psh, csn & smg

from @tocupid

YN : I think my love language is words of affirmation! I like them all!

SEONGHWA : Definitely quality time, I think the ultimate type of love is the type where you can just be around your person doing whatever comfortably

SAN : Physical Touch!

MINGI : Korean!- Oh that type of language… hmm maybe gift giving, I’d love to spoil her

❪ # vi ❫ : What qualities of Yn made Seonghwa, San, and Mingi fall in love? (You don't have to go into major detail but I want to know about this from your perspective as the author) ━━ to psh, csn & smg (but answered by zero)

from @alixnsuperstxr

FOR SEONGHWA : I think Yns kindness and caring side made Seonghwa go from being a fan to being in love with Yn, the way she treats the people around her makes him want to take care of her in return. He tried really hard to separate the Yn he got to know as an idol and the Yn he got to know as a friend but he found that they were identical which made him want her even more

FOR SAN : For San it was Yns passion and love, this one is quite straightforward! San adored Yn the moment he saw her but what pushed him over the edge and made him fall in love was that she has so much love for everyone around her and craft

MINGI : Yns sense of identity and vulnerability, Mingi would always worry about the hate Yn received and get worked up about it (he still kinda does) but after seeing how she handles everything he was so impressed, the administration turned into love. She allows herself to feel hurt without changing herself because of what others think and he thinks she’s the coolest for it

❪ # vii ❫ : I know that in the group chat, each member has a different endgame and an idea of who Yn should pick, but why is that?? What makes them think they are suitable for Yn?? ━━ to ksg, fts, psj & syn

from @alixnsuperstxr

SEULGI : I chose Seonghwa because I know him the best out of the three, I’m not saying the others are not great but he’s just so sweet, I trust him to take care of my little sister well

FATOU : To be honest at first I chose Mingi just because he’s hot but then I noticed that she never has not a smile on her face when talking about him, which is sickeningly adorable

SWAN : *sigh* I’m guessing I can’t choose Park Taegyu huh? Just kidding! I choose whoever makes the Yn happiest

YUNA : Obviously I’m team YNNA first and foremost but I like how open san is about his feelings, something about him makes me think that Yn would always be his top priority

❪ # viii ❫ : How long has Sera had feelings for Yn?? ━━ to srw

from @alixnsuperstxr

SERA : I guess it started a while before I left, I’m not sure but I remember that it was very intense feeling that I haven’t felt since then

❪ # ix ❫ : if you could go back in time do you think you would change your mind about leaving (during trainee years)? If no, you would still leave, would you keep contact with yn this time? ━━ to srw

from @kodzumo

SERA : There is no point in crying over spilled milk but I do think the idol career was never meant for me, so yes I would leave but I’d keep contact with Yn and love her without being a coward… maybe in our next lives

❪ # x ❫ : What were you guy’s favorite songs off ‘Le Astre’? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : I love the intro Body Language but I don’t think that counts so I choose Blue Flame

SAN : Loveade, no question!

MINGI : Other than the title track, I’d choose Deep!

❪ # xi ❫ : Has Lee Hyori answered any of your mail yet? ━━ to jwy

from @ kodzumo

WOOYOUNG : Sadly, no. However I’m now friends with Yn and Seulgi and Seulgi knows Boa who probably knows Lee Hyori so I’m staying hopeful!

seulgi’s note : Am I planning to give Wooyoung Boa’s number-?! Why in the world does he need her number?

❪ # xii ❫ : How is it seeing how far Yn has grown as a person from when you guys were younger? ━━ to khj

from @ kodzumo

HONGJOONG : It makes me super proud of her, I didn’t know she’d become an idol but I always knew she’d do great things- Don’t tell her I said that though

❪ # xiii ❫ : When are you free for a date (I’m literally spiderman pls)? ━━ to jyh

from @ kodzumo

YUNHO : I’m can plan something every day other than Monday’s, Thursday’s and Friday’s (because I work on those days), I love you so much Spiderman!

❪ # xiv ❫ : Have you shown yn your star wars lego collection yet (i also collect them hehe)? ━━ to psh

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : We should be friends then! But I told her about it and she thought it was very cool, hopefully the next time I can show her them

❪ # xv ❫ : Not a question but I love you guys <3 ━━ to kys & cjh

from @ kodzumo

YEOSANG : You love m-me?

JONGHO : …Okay

author’s note : despite their answers both participants are blushing profusely

❪ # xvi ❫ : Also not a question but you guys are so cool I love you guys so much as well ━━ to star

from @ kodzumo

STAR : Thank you so much! We love you too of course!

yuna’s note : You love us more than them right??

swan’s note : Please feel free to ignore Yuna’s note

❪ # xvii ❫ : I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and I hope you have the best day, mwah <3 ━━ to yn

from @ kodzumo

seulgi’s note : Yn is currently crying about how much she appreciates this message but I’m here to say that she is having a great day and she’s proud of you too

fatou’s note : She’s going on a date soon!

❪ # xviii ❫ : Now that we know that sera likes Yn, how do you feel? Also how does it feel to be part of this whole thing where MinSanHwa like Yn, Yn liked you, you like sera, and sera likes Yn????? ━━ to ptg

from anon

TAEGYU : Sera likes Yn? Her liking someone other than me hurts less than I expected… to be honest I kinda started to lose feelings after Sera started getting distant around the time Yn confessed. Anyway I’m not surprised she likes Yn, after all my dongsaeng is great! And the whole Yns crushes situation stressed me out a little, so the only thing I really have to say is that I’m glad it worked out but I wish that Yn and me were both less oblivious haha! I also don’t think they like me very much

❪ # xix ❫ : Did you guys have any hope that Yn was going to forgive you the moment your accounts were revealed to her? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I didn’t think about hoping in the slightest, when she said that she needed time I thought it was just a nice way of saying “I don’t want to see ever again’

SAN : I definitely hoped that she did, because she’s a really sweet person and I couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t but I didn’t think she’d ever consider a relationship like this again

MINGI : I don’t know if I would be able to forgive me but I always wanted keep hope so I was torn the entire time

❪ # xx ❫ : When did you guys know that Yn was the one for you? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I started feeling something when she was so genuine to everyone in one of our first conversations (ch 013)

SAN : Oh my god it was when I met her in real life for the first time, I think I liked her before but this was different! (ch 025)

MINGI : I’m not sure, at first I just liked spending time with her and talking to her but then all of a sudden I couldn’t imagine a world without her anymore (ch ???)

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