Ykw I usually praise franchises for the fact that a trans character will be trans and nobody will make a big deal about it, but I’m actually quite married to the fact that tgcf doesn’t hesitate to show that being trans actually does suck through Shi Qingxuan (and yes, sqx is trans, eat my ass). It wasn’t some individual scene that tries to hammer down intense and violent trans suffering as hard-hittingly as humanly possible, to the point of triggering trauma, just to never bring it up again like most shows- it’s more subtle than that. Shi Qingxuan is frequently subtly mocked for switching between genders. Their brother scolds them publicly for being in their female form and demands they switch back. People frequently make fun of them for being ‘shameless’ and imply that they’re just a cross dresser. They’re never bothered by it, and never bring it up. They’re perfectly content with their existence, if a little intimidated by their brother. That’s such a nice portrayal of things like this. Sometimes transphobia isn’t violence or slurs, sometimes it’s subtle snideness and the bare minimum of respect. Mxtx doesn’t shy away from these topics, but doesn’t exaggerate them cruelly either (mind you, I’m not sure how deliberate this representation is on their part). They’re portrayed in a realistically subtle way.
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
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I've let this ask sit in my inbox for a while, but I think it's time I answered it, though the answer will most certainly not be to your satisfaction, anon, I'm afraid.
First off, I'm a bisexual man, and so I definitely don't have any first hand experience of experiencing attraction to only one gender. And in these things, first hand experience is all that matters.
Secondly, as for other species, I have insufficient information about zoological studies in this field, but I don't think it's as simple as you make it sound (this isn't intended to be hostile, I'm just wondering)?
As for the last part, I certainly don't presume to define sexualities as fitting strictly into one of the boxes of culture, identity or inborn orientation. I'm sure that there are more perspectives on this than I can imagine, and I'm equally sure that the experiences of these queer people are valid.
Mainly, the reason I decided to answer this despite it being a non-answer, as you said, is because I do have something to say.
I'm not in the habit of forming opinions of subjects that I have insufficient information about. I know that being seen as neutral is often vilified. I've been in that position, being angry about people's neutrality regarding topics that to me seem obvious. I no longer agree with past-me on that stance.
I would rather not, in my ignorance, cause damage. I think that people with very strong uneducated opinions cause a good deal more harm than those who stay silent in a conflict they know nothing about. Of course this won't be true in all cases.
But personally, I prefer handing the mic over, as it were, to people with more experience, knowledge, sensitivity and perspective about the issue than I.
So, yes, I'll have to go with a very unambiguous lack of an answer here. I simply do not know enough about this, anon. Non-answers, I'm afraid, are going to be inevitable in deeply personal discussions such as these. These non-answers are invariably better than the divisive discourse, invalidation and gatekeeping that occurs a lot.
Let's all be a bit more okay with saying I don't know. I'm trying to be more okay with it every day. I cannot educate myself perfectly about every single relevant topic. I think that's alright. I hope it is.
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Detrans Non-Binary Pride Flag
Detrans nonbinary (or reidentified nby): someone who detransitioned to non-binary.
For example, someone have started self-identifying solely as binary (aptobinary), but then self-identified back with a non-binary identity (e.g. neutrois or maverique) again (regardless of one's birth assignment/natal AGAB or ASAB).
Some may see this as a fluid gender experience, but some may see this as a personal self-discovery as a result of questioning.
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For those who don't know, one way my gender fluidity manifests, is through name fluidity. Depending on how long you've been following me, you've probably seen me change my name at least once. Etymology is so interesting to me, I'm just too indecisive with too many choices to make a permanent one.
The reason i bring this up on this blog, is because I've been eyeing other names lately, and considering the concept of an omnist name. Similar to the idea of a witch name or changing a name with conversion, except I've converted to everything and nothing (a topic for a future musings post).
Let's call it an "altar" name for now, a name I keep at the altar and is only for religious purposes.
I'd use it for this blog, when I'm veiling, at religious places like quaker meeting, prayer, classes, talking to my tarot decks, writing, stuff like that.
I'm sure this happens to other people, thinking about religion feels much different from when I'm thinking about anything else.
For me, that includes my gender, it's something nonbinary that's indescribably different from any other nonbinary flavor I regularly experience.
So if my spirituality unlocks a secret gender when tapped into, perhaps I should give that part of me - maybe it's my higher self, whatever else - it's own name, y'know?
Do any other religious trans/nonbinary/genderfluid people relate? Have their own 'altar' name?
I'm not sure I'm happy with calling it an altar name either, we'll see. I don't want to call it an omnist name, it's not an exclusively omnist concept.
Surely there already is a name for this kind of name? Let me know. Or if I've explained all this terribly.
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Helena Bonham Carter & Imogen Stubbs in Twelfth Night (1996), directed by Trevor Nunn and based on the Shakespeare comedy.
Second photo is of the costumes worn above, which were designed by John Bright.
Images borrowed from The Corseted Beauty
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idk who needs to hear this rn, but you can literally do whatever you want forever with your gender. You can want boobs in a guy way and want a dick in a girl way. You can want neither and both and everything in any way you’d like. You can have any gender, and still do whatever you want. Present the way you want to, transition into anything, do anything- regardless of your gender. Gender has no walls, the differentiation between gender and sex is intended to liberate. If you aren’t liberated, there’s no point. I implore you, do whatever you want forever.
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I picked up Prism of the Night: A Biography of Anne Rice by Katherine Ramsland today (the first edition; written in consultation with Anne and her family).
I haven't really delved in properly yet, but I saw this bit and thought it was interesting to see just how apparent and intentional AR was in encouraging gender exploration inside and outside her work--as well as making it relatable to women:
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