#happier than a lot of other things but theres always things that get me down

[pumpkzsafeplace]

a│s : agere & the regression process.

the regression process itself is something i get asked about alot from new littles to curious people alike!

and i can understand why.

the thing with regression is that theres no 'one answer fix', each person that regresses says something different about the process & to someone just starting out, that can be a little confusing <3.

so pumpkin is here to break it down for you and answer some commonly asked questions to hopefully make it a little more clearer for others to understand.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ what actually is regressing?

regression is when an individual reverts to a younger age or a younger state of mind to help cope with things! <3

is the fuzzy feeling real?

it depends on who you ask sweetpea!

some people feel it and others don't & that's okay! regression can feel differently to different people, for some it can be a fuzzy headspace, for others it can be a clear switch, and for some it can feel sort of blended at times!

do i need to have another illness to regress?

nope!

a lot of people tend to regress to help heal their inner child and grow as a person, almost like a inner self-therapy session.

does it help?

i think it does.

i think it helps you heal those wounds that we were taught to just forget about and burry down. it helps heal our younger way of thinking, and helps you almost appreciate how strong you were when you were going through those tough times.

plus, i've felt a lot happier since. it's helped me unlock that innocent and pure enjoyment of small things again, and let me take time out just for me <3.

why do people talk in a baby-like tone?

when people regress, they can regress to younger ages.

some people use their way of typing to help stay in that headspace <3.

does it make me invalid if i just regress to be happy?

nope,

regression is different for everyone & is there to help people in different ways. if you just want to regress to be happy, then you do that lovely! <3

do i need to have money to regress?

nope!

some crayons and some paper would be just fine, even just some cartoons! gear is good to have, but it's not a must have! in some people's regression journeys, they don't even include it- like i said, everyone's different.

do i need to use those names?

i'm assuming this is based on the 'mum' 'mommy' names, nope! not if you don't want too.

what works for one little, might not work for you & that's more than okay! a lot of little's come up with their own names for their cg as part of their relationship!

always ask people's boundaries too when it comes to terms like that <3.

can my cg be my partner?

of course!

my parner is my caregiver and has been for just over a year now & that side of our relationship is as platonic as any other cg and little relationship. it's actually common for partners to be cg's as you already have that comfortability aspect around one another <3.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

gif isn't mine

#agere community #sfw little community #sfw agere #agere blog #age regression #sfw little blog #sfw age regression #safe agere #agere little #sfw little post #age regression blog #age regressor #age re safe space #age re blog #age regressive #age regression community #agere moodboard #sfw age regressor #sfw little girl #sfw furry #sfw interaction only #sfw littlespace #sfw little stuff #sfw only #sfw regression #sfw blog #sfw little one #sfw #sfw post #agere caregiver

[dykeyote]

ok my dndads queer hc post randomly gets notes but i disagree w many of the takes now so im updating it . spoiler warning theres a WHOLE lot of lezzies . just doing the dads kiddads and teens HOWEVER i will say that mark likely is for sure a lezzer

darryl: bisexual and probably the most cisgender one here but he's actually SO cis that it becomes almost gnc . he/him

ron: transhet guy but he thinks his transition is like very unique to him and everyone else is doing it the exact same as each other so he doesnt really get that hes Transgender bc he thinks everyone else is doing it in a really different way than him all together . not in an angsty way hes perfectly okay w that . he/him

henry: trans bi guy we know this to be true . he/him but if you called him they/them prns he would be like well yknow ive never thought about that before but you know what go right ahead (: he doesnt exactly enjoy it but he appreciates just how gosh-darn nonbinary positive you are that he'd still encourage it

glenn: bisexual and like .... hes cis he doesnt really care abt gender much but when nick came out as trans he definitely said something about like . "dude if i was trans? id totally use they/them pronouns thats sick as fuck" and then moved on and this sort of haunted nick for a while . he/him but again he doesnt really care

jodie: cis and bisexual but in such a boring way that he might as well be straight

sparrow: tgirl lesbian who was out at one point but is not now for Normalcy Reasons . she/her in theory

lark: transneu nonbinary and aroace . not out about either of these things but not really as a like Actively Closeted thing they just dont really think abt it . they/he in theory

terry jr: tgirl lesbian also but this time out AND butch . she/he

grant: gay of course . and like .... he is cis and this wont change but he'd be a good deal happier if he was more gnc i think

nick: tguy butch lesbian . he mostly but he doesnt really care that much

link: kinda-stealth tboy (not really intentionally or anything he just doesnt really see it as relevant that often so most people dk) and gay . he/him but he doesnt really care that much

taylor: honestly idk what i think is going on w his gender but i DO know hes aro and bi . give me some time to think on that ok

scary: out nonbinary tfem lesbian!!!!! we know this!!!!!! she/it and when she writes her pronouns down she always writes the it in VERY BIG AGGRESSIVE HANDWRITING to make it clear that its SUBVERSIVE AND WEIRD

normal: bisexual tgirl . currently in a like . Questioning Phase in s2 i feel like ..... her turmoil abt being a Normal Son is tied to that . any pronouns but she primarily

hermie: bigender (girl + boy) gaybian :3 was an open bisexual tguy originally but around the poison ivy era had some Gender Complexity . he/she but certain Method Personas have diff pronoun leans whereas normal herm is pretty 50/50

[udon-udon]

anyway, depresso vent post again

not sure if it's just a coinkidink but god, i've been getting depresso BEFORE my pre-period PMS which sucks cause i get twice the depresso come on man wtf

but anyway, idk things have been triggering me a lot lately and idk if it's cause of the stress of all the things i have to do + lack of art career direction + seeing everyone advance and im not advancing/feeling like im being left behind + the stress from work + internal battles and issues i haven't solved yet that i keep gaslighting myself that i've solved but clearly they are not solved + the existing family issues. I feel like yeah most likely that's causing my additional wave of depresso but i also hate that it just comes out of nowhere. I was pumped and all cause I started going to the gym and then suddenly i'm like falling to the floor help ive fallen and can't get up.

i'm also not much of a crier, i hate crying simply cause it takes a lot of energy so i don't really cry much unless im super frustrated or wtvr, but i've been finding myself wanting to cry more so than ever, starting from a few months ago????? I still try not to cause i hate crying, but theres always that tight feeling in my throat like i want to cry u know. And yes, I know crying it out is good for you, but ugh.

I also have been yet again putting a shit ton of more stuff on my plate than I should be what's new, and that's also causing stress as well cause I want to do so many things but I obviously don't have the time for it. I'm still slowly chipping away at my art commissions and I planned on having them done by Feb 1 but i dont think that's gonna happen.... But after art commissions is art print grind cause I need to overhaul my old anime convention art prints... And then I had the idea of creating a side brand that sells only udon related merch (so less anime, and more cute) and because it's a whole new brand, there's a lot of effort/designing/money to be put in and.... that's... more things to do in so little time. Why do I do this to myself. I still really want to do it though!!!! But at what cost, udon... at what cost....

And of course, seeing people be successful makes me feel down cause I don't have what they have and they have what I want yada yada insert pitiful stuff. I'm happy for these people but obvs i can't help but be envious and my brain being like "you're never gonna be enough/never gonna get what they have" and then i want to stab a knife in my brain hello. It's hard to see my own successes when I keep looking at other people's successes, which sucks, cause I've done a lot of cool things, but I keep unregistering them because it's not my ideal success or something idk

Also I think what mostly triggered this month's mood swing is seeing/feeling that someone's leaving me (?) Seeing someone I enjoy being with happier/enjoying someone else's company more. And I'm being totally irrational with that because ofc there are so many other factors. I can't control what other people feel/do and I'm not the center of the universe!!! But in this/that moment it makes me feel like I'm not enough, that I'm boring or wtvr, not loved. And we all know how much I struggle with that 🤪 basically my abandonment issues kicking in, but also my brain being really irrational

I guess this month's theme is I feel like I'm not enough :' ) and also way too many things on my plate yet again, and the stress that I kind of forgot during the December holiday catching back up to me again :)

#personal #i want to become a shut in......

[j1nk135]

announcement

tldr is bolded

hi. :) it’s me again.

i’d like to disclose that this has nothing to do with the influx of disengagement. my skill has been recognized by amazing people and i couldn’t be happier with the outcome.

but i will be leaving.

i will come back very soon, i have always bounced back with these kinds of experiences no matter how dire. i have already made a new account (which will replace this one) that i am happy w the current outcome of, which i will link down below.

give me a few days (?) and ill take everything back to where i was.

the truth of the matter is that this time, life — or maybe even karma — has caught up with me in a way i never would have guessed.

unfortunately, my older sister has died.

she died yesterday, early morning in a car crash from driving while intoxicated. and this experience, as much as it has ruined me, has to be worse for many of the people i love.

she helped me sm w my writing n it scares me when i can feel her as i look at this account.

ive been all over social media trying to salvage what ive lost to no avail. im trying so hard for things to be better but i genuinely couldn’t be failing harder.

ive shown myself that i cant handle this the way i want to and that i need to get away from the public eye. the public eye in my own house and in my phone.

ik i will want to come back otherwise ill feel horrible for starting something i love and not finish it when its also enjoyed by many others.

it was v difficult making this decision maybe much more than it should have been, but theres a lot of this slate of the internet — which is but a spec of it all in reality — that is precious to me. ive made more than enough friends who have seen my gifts of expression as extraordinary. :)

many thanks and best wishes to @nicebonescomrade, @gi-zxt, @aminormistakewasmade, @sagau-villainau, and @thevictoriousmoon for your kindness! i appreciated it so, so, so much more than u think i did.

i will be back.

so please wait for me. :)

@k4n4n1

#see u :) #im sorry #its just #sm harder than i thought #grief is so difficult

[lolatalks1]

wed, dec 6 2023

this is my first real journal entry, and i dont think dear diary is fitting to start this. i mean its just tumblr. i started this little blog because i need somewhere to vent, and so here i am. that sounds like my pinned post but its whatever. im not sure why im typing like im talking to someone, so i think i should stop explaining myself.

ive heard its good to write out how you feel, so i think im going to do just that. (im explaining myself again)- today was at first a good day, i woke up relatively early and was able to get ready for school quicker than i do normally- which is a win in my book. i was able to lay in my bed- which i need to wash the sheets of. my dog keeps laying where i sleep, which flares up my bad acne. i cant blame him though, i practically leave my side of the bed in a perfect napping position for him. anyways- i was able to lay down and read a little of this cute story about a single mother and a man in the military being her neighbor! very cute, very cute. then my dad took me and derek around eight o' five, then we got to school, and it was super cold outside. having to stand and wait for the doors to open is not enjoyable- at least i had derek -my cousin- with me. recently ive been a little harsher with him, but i thinks its because ive been a bit on edge with everything as of late. i dont mean to ignore- i think i should start working on that. he already has a lot going on.

continuing, i went to class. first period was tame, i mean nothing too much happened. really essentially a free day. aryeana ? im not sure how to spell her name now that i realize it- but she was there talking with jacob about whatever. sometimes i feel a little outcasted when with them- but i guess thats because im not that much of a conversational person when i cant think of a topic that will be enjoyable for all of us. i mean, i like anime and overwatch- and some more things. all those things they either dont like or make fun of- so theres no middle ground for us to converse on. i mean, only thing i can talk about is boys with ary. but its more so talking about aryeana's endless snaps with multiple guys and shes boasting about it- as well as boasting about her not being able to talk to guys. she is really contradictory. i dont hate or get mad at her though, shes nice to me. and cate is there- she kinda helps me relax. shes just a very nice person and since ive known her for so long i dont feel like i have to be super fake with them.

i think- well i know- my day went downhill when my mom finally replied to my messages. i had texted her about going to cam's surprise birthday dinner on sunday night- and she said yes! but then i asked her about saturday, if i can go shopping with her. i needed to go to barnes and noble to get multiple books that several people wanted for christmas, and maybe the mall to get some other things like candles from bath and body works. but anyways- she then revealed shes not going to be here this saturday- more so this entire weekend.... fun.

i just dont understand how she can just go i mean- i know where shes going- hell the whole family does. its nothing new, but the fact its such a repetitive thing and she always did it around familial times (thanksgiving and now christmas). i really dont get, seriously. and ive come to learn that she goes to some town with a new guy each time. what happened to her being with ron? her last boyfriend- i knew of at least. my nana mentioned she didnt like him because how he treated my mom, so im guessing he was abusive or really shitty. i dont care, and i guess thats a bad thing. i see it as karma now. i use to feel bad, want to console her. but ive lost it. lost that empathy.

anyways, she just makes me so- angry. to the point i can't focus on happier aspects of things because shes simply just so intoxicating with her narcissistic behavior. shes so aware that what she does angers and breaks the family, but she cant find it in herself to realize that its bad. how? im not sure. she didnt have a horrible upbringing nor a traumatic event with my dad. so i cant find a genuine reason behind what she does. its whatever, i keep trying to myself i shouldnt care so much. but i cant help it. it affects my home life, makes me i guess more so depressed? i dont want to self diagnose though. but shes the reason behind my upset outlook for today. hell even started playing class of 2013 by mitski- the lyrics hitting a bit too close to home. so yeah. thats all for now i guess, im not sure how journalling works. i guess ill start learning.

[fruityutas]

.

#i just need to let out air pls ignore this #or read im not against it #i just need someway to vent so this is it hhaha #but anyways i just keep thinking about how its been so long since ive gotten into kpop (lil over four years) and how its made me inherently #happier than a lot of other things but theres always things that get me down #i cant really articulate them you know? #its like a void feeling inside me #like im a shell and no emotions are able to come from me #which is also true but it’s because of my medicine #it doesn’t do anything other than make me emotionally numb #and its kinda shitty imo #but if i dont take it the emotions come all at once and the winner is always my depression #and thats not any better at all #so my choices are really just numb or kill myself #which is sad #and i look at myself and am just. sad #i feel like im not a real person #i dissociate multiple times a day and its not healthy #and the feeling is like #wanting to be nonexistent. not really die but just never have existed #but also?? the only way to do that is die and leave peoples memory #which if i do will inevitably happen to most ppl in my life #im just. not functioning right? #and i know i have more than just anxiety and depression but im at a point where i cant get an adult doctor rn bc im on break #so i have to wait until i go back to my campus #and it sucks #i feel like i will never be normal #which is also correct but i want at least a sliver of it #like it genuinely blows my mind that there are mentally stable and ppl who are not and never will be mentally ill out there. #sigh

[suguruverse]

ahhhh what about being best friends with hinata and kageyama. bc let’s be honest they totally started to hang out outside of volleyball

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH HINATA AND KAGEYAMA

includes - hinata shoyo and kageyama tobio

a/n - hehe thank you so much for requesting bby!! <3

published date - 27/03/21

- this is a very unexpected friendship to say the least

- this friendship is just a constant fight for your attention

- they’re so competitive and they always make you decide who wins

- one of the main competitions they have everyday is the one where they race to your classroom to see who can get there first

- or when you say you want something from the vending machine, they are both rushing out of their seats to see who get you your snack first

- despite how much they say they might hate each other, they’re always hanging out in school, at lunch and even outside of school

- of course, you’re always there with them or else they probably would have killed each other by now

- in terms of affection, hinata is always there if you need a hug, a pat on the back or any of that

- for kageyama, let’s just be glad he even looks at you and calls you his best friend

- kageyama is a little bit new to physical affection and that’s why he’s glad he has you and hinata

- hang outs normally is at kageyama’s house because natsu is too loud, kageyama is normally home alone and you and hinata just come over unannounced to annoy him

- whenever you guys are watching a movie, you’re always huddled up with hinata while kageyama is on the other side of the couch, looking at you guys enviously

- being best friends with these guys can be super rewarding and draining at the same time

- you’ve had to stay back at school almost everyday to help them practice volleyball

- and trust me, they love you a little bit more every time you help toss the ball

- kageyama is like canonically super handsome, so expect to get hate from a lot of the girls

- also kageyama is like your protector in some ways??

- like whenever there’s someone bothering, within 2 seconds, he’s right behind you, glaring down at the person talking to you

- in reality, he just thought you were talking to a new friend and he wanted to meet them

- but when he tried to smile at them, the got scared and ran away :((

- he got super upset about that, and sometimes you catch him practicing his smile on the mirror

- but whenever he does that, you always give him a big hug and say that you think his smile is beautiful

- hinata is definitely the type of person to just jump on you out of nowhere??

- he always bites and licks you 🙃

- since volleyball is becoming increasingly more important to them, yall barely got to hang out

- but fear not, bc you become their manager!!

- whenever they’re on break, they’re the first people you go to, to bring them a towel and water

- kageyama loves headpats. end of discussion.

- nothing makes kageyama happier than when you give him head pats and say “good job tobio, i’m so proud of you, i knew you could do it!!”

- pls this man is so touch starved

- and whenever they lose a match, the first thing they wanna do is dive into your arms

- they always call you their ‘home’ or ‘safe space’ because whenever they’re around you, they just seem to relax

- you get them personalised volleyball equipment with their names on it and they treasure it so much

- at their games, they always look towards you whenever they score a point so they can see the proud look on your face

- you try to make them lunches but they eat so damn much that at some point you gave up

- do y’all know in fairy tail how natsu and gray would be fighting but when erza looked in their direction, they would be all friendly??

- yeah that’s basically the three of you

- this friendship requires A LOT of affirmation and reassurance so be prepared

- kageyama once yelled at you, yk one of his ‘king of the court’ moments and you went off on him

- from that day forward, he has not yelled or even raised his voice at you

- also tsukishima actively wonders if you’re being held captive by the two idiots bc he has no idea who would willingly be their best friend

gc name; volleyball whores

hinata: guys wake up

hinata: its an emergency

hinata: guys?? please???

hinata: if you guys loved me, you would answer rn

kageyama: hinata, its 2am you fucking idiot

you: hi shoyo!! is everything okay?? you should be sleeping rn babes :((

hinata: i know i know but i cant sleep

kageyama: well i can, gn

you: kags don’t be rude

hinata: guys wanna come coaches shop with me pls

kageyama: its not even open

you: theres a convenience store near me thats still open, wanna meet up there??

kageyama: sure omw

hinata: why are you coming, i thought you were sleeping

kageyama: im not going for you idiot, im only going to see y/n

you: kags :((

kageyama: huh whats wrong???

you: nothing, youre just being super nice today

hinata: yeah kageyama, why don’t you be nice to me as well

kageyama: shut your face you human tangerine

kageyama: y/n im nearly at your house, wait for me

hinata: huh whyre you going to her house, i thought we’re going to the store

you: yeah same, im confused

kageyama: well im not gonna let you walk out on your own at 2am, plus its cold

hinata: FINE IM ON MY WAY TOO

hinata: KAGEYAMA YOU BETTER NOT MAKE ANY MOVES ON HER 

kageyama: SHUT UP IM NOT

you: hehe kags i see youuuuuuuuu

kageyama: huh?? what, im not near your house yet

you: look behind you

kageyama: AHH

hinata: why did you scream irl and in text too

#👼🏼 — angelskiss #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq x reader #hq x you #hq x y/n #hq hinata #hinata headcanons #hinata hcs #hinata scenarios #hinata imagine #hinata x reader #hinata x you #hinata x y/n #hq kageyama #kageyama headcanons #kageyama hcs #kageyama scenarios #kageyama imagines #kageyama x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama x y/n #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo

[ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole]

Stories of Paris

I have no self control this week and have just finished this wip I'll update 2 days on the trot (mainly as I've become word blind and can't see the words for the letters). This is a flux occurrence and is likely to never happen again unless it's like a month with 2 full moons and the stars have aligned wonky and theres a north wind blowing and Fae stuff like that....

Will eventually post on AO3 when like the tech sprites are feeling nice to me and the gremlins have disappeared.

Masterlist

Part One Part Two

...................................................................................

Alfred checked in on his small charge, making sure he was still asleep, before heading to his own room. The last couple of months had been hard. Much harder for young master Bruce but still hard. He had lost his employers, who were closer to friends really. He'd become an unexpected full time guardian on top of a full time workload of running a manor house, which he was originally employed for. Gone were his fortnightly day off. His evenings to himself to meet up with friends, his whole life was turned upside down and he was grieving.

As much as he adored Master Bruce he wanted, no that's not right, he needed a break to grieve too. Grieve the loss of his friends, the loss of his freedom, the loss of his own life expectations.

Once he reached his own personal sanctuary he got out his personal phone and dialed the one person who got him. She may have been a foreign agent but she had taken him under her wing, looked after him and treated him like a son before they both retired (for different reasons). She was like a mother to him after he lost his own. She was always a grounding rock. It was this point, in his early 30's he needed someone to talk to this overwhelming, unexpected, humongous responsibility he'd stumbled upon.

"Ciao?"

"Gina, Are free to talk?"

"Alfie darling!!! Of course I am free to talk to you! I'll always make time for you darling! How are you doing stateside? The family in your charge still treating you well? Or do they need to be dropped so you can come adventuring with me?"

Suppressing a stifled sob Alfred tried to answer Gina's questions.

"They, they died Gina. The couple. The… the Wayne's were murdered in front of their son… They left me in charge of looking after him. I'm his guardian… I've looked after him for 2… 2 months..."

The stifled sob broke loose. After 2 months of being in complete control over all the emotions in favour of protecting and supporting Master Bruce he finally let them all out.

".... Shhhh shhh, there there il mio piccolo… Let those tears flow. Don't hold it in. Let those feelings out… "

Alfred sat in his room allowing himself to crack with Gina providing soothing words to him. After a while the sobs died down and he recomposed himself.

"Are you feeling better Alfie sweetie?"

"... Yes …"

"How often do you get your own space? Time to care about yourself? When was the last time you had a 'you' day?"

"... Before, before all this I would have days and time to see friends. Now, it's all about Master Bruce. He needs someone. He's just lost his parents. I can't abandon him as well.''

"So not for 2 months then. Hmmmm… you need to get a babysitter and make time and days for yourself"

"I don't trust anyone in Gotham Gina to look after Master Bruce. I've built a network up but not a 'child friendly one'."

"Good thing then I have the perfect candidate for you. My granddaughter is in Gotham as part of a study program or something like that. My little fairy is good with bambini. And it would benefit us having someone we trust to physically check in with her too. Being an ocean away makes it hard for us to check she is actually ok and not what she is presenting to a screen or phone."

"That, that might work Gina. How old is she? I know you wouldn't suggest it if she wasn't suitable…"

"Currently 17 but soon to be 18 and planning to stay Gotham way for a while. She seems to adore the architecture."

"That… .this might work. Could you check with her that she is happy to do this and we can arrange a meeting to see how it goes. It will be dependent on how well she connects with Master Bruce as to what happens next."

"Sounds like a plan Alfie! You're a strong resourceful man Alfie. You'll get through this. Do call me again if you need anything. And I do mean anything! Also be certain I'll be visiting in the nearish future to check on you and the lad.

Now go to sleep and I'll have a chat with my little fairy to see what we can do. You're not on your own in this son. Rest now and I will be in contact soon."

"Thank you Gina. For everything. Just being able to talk to someone has been a huge help. I'll go rest now. Bye"

"Bye Alfie"

After hanging up the phone Alfred took a deep breath and for the first time in a long time he felt he could finally breathe. Gina had never led him wrong before. Having someone to watch Master Bruce even for a few hours would allow him the space to set up a new network and reconnect with people. The overwhelming task would become manageable. Hopefully Gina's granddaughter would be willing and that Master Bruce liked her.

With those thoughts in mind Alfred finally turned in for the night.

…………………………………………………………..

Bruce continued to stare at the teen in his living room. It was an unexpected guest in his eyes. Alfred had informed him of a visitor, an old friend's granddaughter who was studying in Gotham, and Alfred's friend wanted him to check up on her. So Alfred had invited her to the manor. That was all fine. What he didn't get is why HE needed to be about. He didn't want company, he wanted his parents back. He wanted that man who destroyed his life brought to justice. He wanted to do research not listening to some inane talk. He wanted to be left alone to wallow. And maybe have Alfred about too for quiet company and provide tea and snacks. Not this stranger in his home.

As he stared (glared) at the girl he lost focus on the ongoing conversation she was having with Alfred to sulk.

He was drawn out of his musing when he saw the girl out down the cup she was drinking from and gave Alfred a hug. She whispered something to Alfred and much to Bruce's amazement, Alfred's whole being seemed to loose some of the tenseness it held. A glimmer of a spark he once held seems to re-enter his being.

"*cough* Right Miss Marinette. I can tell you are related to your Grandmother. Gina holds a magic way with words too."

"It's ok Monsieur Pennyworth. I learnt a lot about how words have power and how they can affect people under Hawkmoth's rein. Nonna helped me refine the skill."

"Hawkmoth? Miss Marinette could you explain further?"

"Yes, he was a supervillain. He held the power to manipulate people with negative emotions and turn them into temporary villains which Paris superheros had to defeat.

It was exhausting to live through. Watching what you said and how it could affect others. Keeping your own emotions in check. Nonna was a great help in learning to read body language so I could preempt and defuse situations before Hawkmoth could attack."

The girl, Marinette, went back to drinking her tea as if what she said was common knowledge and that having super heros was a normal thing.

It sparked Bruce's interest. The 8 year old boy adored comics telling granduese stories of adventures. This Marinette may not be as awful as he originally thought. She had experience of heroes and what they could do. In the small boy's head, he needed to get as much information as humanly possible from her. She might know how they came to be. How they got their powers. She knew about justice and how to take down bad guys indirectly. That meant joining in the conversation so she might come again.

"Thank you for coming round Miss Marinette. Are you sure I can not interest you into staying for dinner?"

"No, thank you Monsieur Pennyworth, for having me. I would have loved to stay for dinner, Nonna tells tales of your fabulous culinary skills, I must however decline. The family I am staying with is expecting me back soon.

It was a pleasure to meet you though. And you Monsieur Wayne."

Bruce was drawn out of his thoughts of superheroing and taking down bad guys. His information source was leaving. He needed to keep her here somehow. Or get her return.

"It was nice to meet you too Marinette. Would you like to come round and visit Alfred again?"

Alfred looked at the young master in surprise, the young boy had appeared to show no interest and huge distrust of Miss Marinette, but apparently looks are deceiving. Somehow she had won the boys interest and he wanted her to return. Gina was right about the girl, she was talented and seemed to know how to work her audience especially children. Maybe, just maybe Gina's idea would work.

"I would be delighted to visit again Monsieur Wayne. Monsieur Pennyworth has my details. I'm sure we can arrange another occasion to meet."

"If you would like to follow me Miss Marinette, I will escort you to the door."

…………………………………………………………..

"Gina"

"Alfie!!! How are you? It's good to hear from you!"

"I am well thank you. Much better than when we last spoke. I must say though, thank you! Your idea has been perfect. Your granddaughter has been amazing. She completely worked her magic with Master Bruce."

"Mmmm hmmm"

"She has got him talking. Not much. But he isn't as wallowy as he was before we met her. She got him kneading bread. And basically got him to beat his frustrations into it. The kitchen was a disaster from it all but he seems happier."

"YOU sound happier darling too!! The kneading thing likely comes from my Tom. He got my fairy doing that a lot under Hawkmoths rein. Baking for her has become a way to process/deal with her emotions. The nasty fella. I'm glad he is all done and dusted for my fairy. He left his mark on her."

"I can honestly see a way forward now Gina. Thank you. Bruce and I, we will get there. But back to your comment, Left his Mark? Did Miss Marinette get hurt? Has she an injury that I need to be aware of. Every time I've seen her she seems well, with the occasional spacey moments. She seems to navigate a conversation well to avoid topics that cause her too many anxieties."

"Not physically that I am aware of. Emotionally it has taken its toll. She is good at masking and misdirecting emotions as you've probably seen and noted. She's grieving too. She's left Paris as it has too many memories for the moment."

"I see.... I can see how that is likely helping her and Master Bruce connect. Thank you Gina, truly. Our little family has hope now that your fairy has arrived. We will see if we can also watch out and help her."

…………………………………………………………..

Had Bruce realised at the time that Marinette's original visit was an informal interview to see if he connected with her, Bruce may have paid a bit more attention. He might have noticed if had paid attention but that's neither here nor there. In his unfocused state he had somehow agreed to her becoming his babysitter. And as much as he protested to Alfred that he was perfectly capable of looking after himself. The small fire he created in the kitchen when he tried to make toast (this time) shortly before his declaration destroyed his argument.

The bonus was that with each occasion Marinette babysat him he was learning more and more about superheros (and got freshly baked treats). And she knew a lot about both.

"Mon poussin, shall we go bake some cookies before Alfred returns?"

"Ummm… I might have been err banned from the kitchen since you last visited Mari."

"Banned mon chéri? Why on earth were you banned?"

"I tried to make the cookies we made last time for Alfred as a surprise. The fire this time was much bigger than normal"

"Are you banned from baking or just being in the kitchen? I kinda need to know what rule we're about to bend"

"Bend? And errrr baking and kitchen. Alfred said 'Young master. Please can you refrain from attempting to bake and using the kitchen equipment. You are banned until I see fit that it is safe for you to learn again'"

Bruce caught a glint of mischief entering Marinette's eye and a smirk grew upon her face.

"Perfect!!! You're banned from the equipment for baking. I'll use the equipment then and you can still be in the kitchen then. Bending is working with the rules and looking for where they are flexible and looking for loopholes. Alfred for example according to you said baking. Well baking is different from cooking. So technically you could cook. Though as it's Alfred I'd probably give it a miss."

"Yeah, I don't fancy getting on the wrong side of Alfred."

The pair started to walk to the kitchen to bake with Marinette leading.

"The Parisian's superheros used that technique a lot. The police there weren't particularly welcoming in the beginning so they followed the rules the police set out and twisted them to work best in their interest. It's something you see business people do too. Something I'm sure you'll encounter when you're older sadly."

"How did they get their names? Paris's superheros"

Marinette smiled ruefully as she got the ingredients out for cookies.

"I told you that I was friends with a blogger at the time"

"Uh-huh" Bruce nodded.

"For the most part she named them. I believe, from what I remember her saying, is that Chat Noir introduced himself as that, but Ladybug, she focused on the task at hand and ignored the media for the most part at the beginning and they named her. The blogger from what I recall named her and then created the blog 'the ladyblog' as a pun on the name. Lesson to learn there is that if a hero doesn't want to be named by the media they should have a name ready to provide and introduce themselves with. Winning the media and public over made the job easier from what I could tell"

"And what made them superheros Mari?"

"They had powers mon poussin. Police, firepeople, doctors and nurses. They are all hero's fighting to protect others everyday. All within the law. These superheros had powers. They had magic."

Bruce looked at Marinette in awe.

"Magic?"

"A curse and a blessing, magic is Bruce" Marinette in such a serious way that was so out of character it startled Bruce.

"There are so many types of magic out there Bruce. For the most part it's benevolent, neither good nor evil just existing in balance. Old magic though. Old magic tends to come at a cost. Yes it can help but there is always something required to balance it out. A negative payment. Hawkmoth, he used the magic in a negative way and it cost him his family. His life as well.. Ladybug and Chat Noir they both had to use their powers to balance the other one out."

Bruce absorbed the information like a sponge. He loved when Marinette forgot his age and just spoke her thoughts. Her memories. He was learning so much from her about these heroes when she drifted to narrate the past. Superheroes. If Alfred let him he was going to look this blog up on his computer later.

With such melancholy Marinette continued.

"Hawkmoth turned out to be my friend's dad. His dad was awful so it wasn't a huge surprise. But, his misuse of the magic caused the death of my friend to balance it all out. Magic isn't inherently bad, it's the side effects that people forget about and neglect to think."

Marinette let out a big sigh.

"These cookies are going to taste sour with this sad mood growing. Mon poussin, what superpower would you want if you could have one?"

She enquired trying to lighten the mood about the past as she put the cookies into the oven to cook.

Bruce mulled over the question.

"I'm not sure Mari. What you said about magic and powers seems like a bad idea. If I had a superpower, what would it cost me? I don't want to lose Alfred or you. I'd want to do it without powers''

*Chuckling* "Oh mon poussin. That's what you got from what I've said. Mon chéri, you won't lose us. You're family now"

Marinette stated before booping his nose with a floury finger.

"But you said people were heroes without powers Mari! I wanna be like that."

"So a secret ninja hero with lots of gadgets then."

Matinette giggled at the boys antics "Remember secret identities are key. No-one but your selected trusted support network can ever know them so you are all protected as well."

"Hmmm ok Mari that's good advice"

They both sat in silence after that. Marinette, still trying to recover from the memories of losing Adrien, Bruce pondering what Mari had said.

"How'd you train to be a ninja Mari?"

"Hmmm ninja training I guess Bruce."

"What's that though"

"I guess ninjas train in martial arts, gymnastics and stuff like that. Maybe in weapons. I don't really know Bruce. I've never met a ninja before."

Marinette smiled at the small boy. He reminded her of Manon with all the questions on heroes and Alya with her obsession in her teens. She never remembered being so fascinated with them but many of the children she had babysat especially in Paris had a huge fascination with them. It was times like this she missed Paris and her family there. Nonna recommending her to Alfred was a stroke of luck. Bless Tikki. She was starting to feel like she had a family over here now too.

Bruce mulled over the information Mari had given. Maybe he would get Alfred to sign up for martial arts lessons. That would help towards getting skilled enough to bring justice, even if it didn't bring his parents back.

When Alfred returned back to the manor, he found the pair giggling in the kitchen. Cookies cooling on the side as the pair pretended to do silly ninja moves while watching ninja warrior clips on Miss Marinette's phone. Alfred smiled to himself while craftily snapping a photo of the pair. Miss Marinette was an excellent babysitter and was slowly bringing happiness back into the manor. Bruce's sour moods from grief definitely improved with her presence.

Gina's recommendation was perfect.

…………………………………………………………..

Marinette had almost become a permanent feature in Bruce's life. She was round at least once a fortnight. Sometimes once a week and had been for the last 9 months and he had grown to see her as almost an Aunt or cousin or something more than a babysitter. She was becoming family. He desperately missed his parents still but having Mari and Alfred he didn't feel quite as alone on the bad days.

The pair were both doing homework in the garden while Alfred was out when Mari's phone rang. She switched to another language on answering. Bruce paused from his work and watched. He didn't know the language and felt left out not knowing what was being said. He would ask Alfred to sign him up for language lessons when he returns. The martial art lessons were awesome in the boys eyes. Language lessons would help connect more with Marinette. And help in spying and his secret hero training.

Watching her though she seemed to flit through a range of emotions in quick succession which were a blur to interpret before they went. They disappeared from her face. He couldn't read what she was thinking or feeling. Bruce knew he was fairly good at reading adults. It was helpful to avoid getting into trouble at school (and with Alfred). It was amazing and scary to not be able to do so with Mari.

"Mari…?" Bruce gently asked when the call had ended "How'd you do that?"

"Hmmm.. do what mon poussin"

"Hide your feelings. How'd you do that?"

"Hide them?" Marinette mused over what Bruce was meaning. "I didn't really hide them mon chéri. I just sifted through them as I felt them and checked if they were helpful to me or not. If it wasn't helpful I parked to deal with it at a later date so I could focus on the call with a clear head. Given who I was talking to, getting upset, angry or frustrated wouldn't benefit me at all. Why do you ask?"

"Can you teach me?!" Bruce demanded with enthusiasm. To be able to be able to do that would be so cool. To do it in games with peers and hide what he was feeling and therefore thinking would be awesome.

Marinette laughed at her temporary charges determination.

"It takes time and patience to learn mon poussin. And I started by learning to meditate and recognising my own emotions. Learning what I'm truly feeling and working out what I need to do to process it.

If we complete our homework soon I'll teach you some basic mediation and we can go from there if you like?"

"Yes!! But don't have to do homework first….. can't we skip it pleeeeeeease"

Marinette just raised her eyebrow, in a very Alfred manner, at the boy who ducked his head in return.

Much to Alfred's surprise he came home to find the pair sitting in the garden as Miss Marinette took Master Bruce through a guided meditation. He hoped that this may be the start of Bruce starting to openly process his grief.

Next

#maribat #maribat au #ml x dc #dc x ml #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #ml crossover #marinette x bruce #marinette x alfred #plantonic #friendship #babysitting #found family

[imaginejamesandsirius]

I fucking love your writing!!! You're like one of my favorite fic authors ever!! Theres this cool ass quote that I really like that goes- "I'll take care of you" "It's rotten work" "Not to me, not if it's you" and I was wondering if you could work that into a fake dating AU??

This was such a bad idea, but that had never stopped Sirius before, and it wasn't going to stop him now. James had asked for his help, and Sirius was helpless to do anything but promise that he would do his best.

Granted, he would've been a lot happier to help if it hadn't been acting as James's boyfriend as they went to Lily and Remus's wedding.

Sirius was a nice guy and all, but after he agreed to help, he had to ask, "Why do you need a date at all? We were both invited. It's not like you have to sneak me in."

"The last time I saw either of them, I was being a massive prick because Lily had broken up with me."

"I remember," Sirius said. Mostly he remembered because he'd thought it was funny, at the time. Then, when it had become clear that Remus wasn't planning on talking to them anymore because of it, he'd felt a little bad. Not that they'd stayed best mates after leaving Hogwarts, but they used to meet up every few months. 

"I just want to let both of them know that I'm not going to make a scene."

"I don't think they would've invited you if they thought that was going to happen," Sirius said.

"If you don't want to pretend that we're dating-"

"I'm fine with it," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "I was just pointing out that I don't think it's necessary."

"I think it's very necessary."

"Whatever you say, love." Disaster. This was going to be a complete and utter disaster.

Sirius should be smart and tell Remus ahead of time that it was fake so that he wouldn't say anything incriminating, but if James wanted him to pretend that they were dating, then that's what he would do.

*

Dumb. Idiotic. Stupendously moronic. These were all words to describe Sirius in this moment, and his only comfort was that it was James's stupid idea for this in the first place.

"I'm glad you two finally got together," Professor McGonagall said.

James's arm around Sirius tightened. "Right."

"How long have you been dating?" she asked, and it should've been a perfectly innocent question. They were at a wedding, presenting themselves as being in a serious relationship. These were the sort of questions people asked couples attending a wedding together. Sirius knew this, but given the way James's arm tightened even more, he figured that James hadn't known.

"The lines are a bit blurry," Sirius said with a smile. "You might as well ask if the phoenix came before or after the flame."

Professor McGonagall laughed, which covered the sharp inhale from James. They kept talking, exchanging idle conversation about her new students and their jobs for a couple minutes before they parted ways.

"You need to calm down," Sirius muttered to him.

"I'm perfectly calm," he said, but his jaw was tight and he looked like a pat on the back would shatter him.

Sirius only snorted. "Let's get you something to drink. That'll loosen you up."

An hour and too many drinks later, Sirius wondered if he should cut James off. It's not like he was an alcoholic, but he was pounding back drinks like it was going out of style.

Lily walked up to them as Sirius was debating whether or not he could get away with switching his glass (champagne) with James's (whiskey). They'd said hello to her when they walked in, but she was too busy making the rounds before this to really talk. Not that Sirius knew what they'd talk about. He'd never really gotten on with her, in spite of her dating James for over a year; he'd had plenty of time to get used to her, but he hadn't. "Hi, Sirius," she said with a smile. It was a cliche, but she was definitely glowing with happiness. "James."

James turned to look at her, then his eyes went wide and he swallowed thickly as he saw who he was face to face with. "Erm. Hey Lils. Lily. You look- erm, I mean-"

Sirius switched their glasses.

"It's good to see you- not that- er. Congratulations," James finished weakly.

"Thanks," Lily said, ignoring his stuttering. "I'm glad you two finally worked things out."

"Finally?" James asked.

"Yeah, I know that- actually, it's not my business," she said.

Sirius was very grateful that she wasn't going to get into it, and he was about to thank her aloud when James ruined it.

"No, what do you mean?"

Lily glanced at Sirius, who tried to give her a look to convey how much he would appreciate her not saying a word.

He wasn't sure it came across.

"I might be reading too much into it. It's not like I was ever very close with Sirius, and god knows I never knew what was going on in your head."

"Lily," James said slowly, "what are you talking about?"

"Just that you two have always been close. When we were dating, sometimes I felt like the odd one out."

"Sorry about that," Sirius said, because it had been a touch purposeful on his part.

She gave a small shrug, smiling again. "It all worked out in the end."

Sirius tried to focus on the conversation, asking how Remus had proposed and what they had planned for their honeymoon, but he couldn't help but keep an eye on James, who was staying horrifically silent. He noticed too late that James had stolen his drink back.

Eventually, Lily walked away to rescue Remus from a conversation with her sister, leaving James and Sirius alone again.

"Okay, that's enough," Sirius said, snatching James's glass from him. It was almost empty, but he wasn't going to risk it. "We're calling it a night."

"Fine," James said petulantly. He got to his feet, then wobbled.

Sirius put an arm around his waist to steady him and steered them towards the lift. "One foot in front of the other, love."

"I know how to walk," he muttered.

"How comforting. Do you also know how not to drink yourself into a stupor?"

"I'm not that drunk."

"I respectfully disagree."

"Respectfully?" James repeated with a laugh.

"Would you prefer disrespectful disagreement?"

"Sure. It'll make this feel more normal."

"As you wish, love.” Pause. “You're a sodding idiot. I can't believe I'm having to haul your arse around like we're eighteen again."

"It doesn't count as disrespectful if your voice still sounds like that."

"Like what?" Sirius asked.

"Like you love me."

"Use your imagination for that part."

James snorted, and they kept walking. It was slow going, mostly because James was trying to pretend he wasn't as drunk as he was. They made it into the lift, and James leaned heavily against him. "Maybe I did have a bit much."

"Maybe," Sirius agreed.

By the time the doors opened onto their floor, James had turned morose. It's how he always got when he got pissed instead of staying at buzzed, and Sirius was impressed that it had taken him this long to have his mood turn. Not that he'd been particularly happy before.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"What for?"

"That you have to take care of me."

"Don't be, I don't mind."

"You should."

"And why's that?" Sirius asked.

"Because it's-" he paused as he stumbled over his toes "-bloody rotten work."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"Not to me," Sirius said.

"It should be. Why would you want to take care of me?"

"Because it's you," Sirius said softly, knowing that James wouldn't remember this well enough come morning to figure out what he meant by it. "Nothing rotten about that, love."

One of these days, James was going to know that when Sirius called him 'love', he meant it exactly as it sounded. It wasn't going to be tonight though, so he kept helping James to their room. They'd done this song and dance too many times for Sirius to feel weird about it. If James needed help getting undressed, he'd help him. He knew how to keep from staring, so he wouldn't feel like he was taking advantage of the situation or summat. He'd get James to drink some water, and in the morning, James would thank him for the help and nothing would change.

It had been years, and nothing had changed between them.

Despite the countless comments they'd gotten today about people saying 'finally' or 'always knew you were together', Sirius knew that the chances of it happening were slim.

*

The rest of their stay at the hotel for the wedding passed without incident. It was the wedding day, and then the day after everyone was leaving. The day of the wedding, people were busy thinking about Lily and Remus, so people stopped commenting on the relationship between James and Sirius. It was a relief, but the sad fact was that all the people here that weren't family, they all knew from Hogwarts. They all knew Sirius and James, and the next time they saw any of them, they'd probably have to explain that they weren't dating anymore. It would be years before Sirius had to have that conversation with anyone, but he was already dreading it.

They packed their bags, checked out of the hotel, and headed home. Home was a flat they shared and had been sharing for the past five years. Sirius dreamt, sometimes, of them moving into a different flat, one that only had one bedroom because what would they need with a second one?

"Did we talk?" James asked, frowning. "When I was drunk?"

"We talked some, but nothing important. Why?"

"I thought... nevermind."

"Okay," Sirius said easily.

There was a minute or two of silence as they walked up the stairs to their flat and unlocked the door. Once the front door was closed, James asked, "Do you think that'll ever be us?"

"What will?"

"The big white wedding. Or- y'know, any wedding."

"I hope so," Sirius said.

"Really?"

"Well yeah." Sirius wasn't terrified of being alone or summat-- well, maybe a little bit-- but he'd like to have that kind of relationship some day. Something with that much trust and being intertwined in each other's lives the way Lily and Remus now were.

When Sirius turned around, James kissed him. Full on. Hands on either side of his face and leaning close like he wanted nothing more than to seep into his soul.

It took a couple days for Sirius to replay the conversation in his head and figure out that what he'd answered hadn't really been what James was asking. His answer was the same, no matter what, but he really hadn't thought that when James asked 'Do you think that'll be us?' he'd meant specifically the two of them together.

He sure as hell wasn't going to complain. 

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #filled #no magic au #getting together #post hogwarts #background remus/lily #siriuslystarbucks #past james/lily

[toomanyfandoms02]

Jealousy // Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary - Reader hangs out with her best friend Blaise and -Someone- gets jealous.

Word Count - 1k

Warnings - implies sex

Jealousy was a common thing to experience from Draco. He was probably one of the most protective people I had ever met. So I was use to it.

But that didn't mean it made it any easier to deal with.

Besides Draco, Blaise Zambini was my best friend. It had been that way our whole lives. Our mum's were best friends and they even got pregnant with us around the same time. So we were bound to be close knit.

And it stayed that way.

I was currently sitting at the 3 Broomsticks with Blaise, sipping a mug of Butterbeer and laughing at some inside joke he had recited. Draco had said he wouldn't be able to make the Hogsmeade trip this weekend, he had to study for an upcoming Transfiguration exam. (He never really paid attention in that class.) So of course I told him that was fine, I would go alone.

But I happened to run into Blaise.

"So how's everything going with Draco? He seems a lot happier than he's been since we were little." He commented, snacking on his biscuit. I smiled at the question, I was glad he was *noticeably* happier with me.

"Things are going really well I think. I know how much of a dickhead he can be but he's never treated me with anything but respect."

"He's definitely got a soft spot with you that I don't think he has for anyone else." He nodded with a laugh, I thought so too.

We had spent the whole day together shopping, I even bought Draco a little present I thought he would like. With the help of Blaise.

After a few hours, we took a carriage back up to school together, mostly because I knew I would need help carrying my bags.

I was kind of a shop-aholic.

Blaise grabbed 3 of my 5 bags, helping me heave them to the Slytherin Common Room.

"Pure-blood." I said to the portrait, it promptly opened so we could drag in my bags of wasted money.

I saw Draco on the couch, a quill in one hand and a thick, (I assume Transfiguration textbook.) in the other. He looked up from it, eyebrows furrowing and lip twitching in the slightest.

"Hello Blaise." His voice sounded spiteful, as if he wasn't talking to one of his friends. Blaise smiled and waved awkwardly, setting the bags at my feet.

"Hi Draco." He looked back at me. "Thanks for hanging out with me today, it's been a while." He patted my shoulder, leaving for the dorms.

In an instant the textbook was shut loudly, making me nearly jump from my skin and hold my heart.

"Bloody hell Draco, what's wrong?"

"I thought you said you were going to Hogsmeade alone today." He pressed, folding his parchment into his book.

"I did go alone, but I ran into Blaise so we had a drink and did some shopping." I gestured to my pile. Then it clicked, he was making the face.

The face where his lip was slightly down turned, eyebrows furrowed only slightly. One eye brought into the slightest glare, but not enough to look angry. Just enough to look *jealous*.

"Wait a second, are you jealous?" His facial expression dropped, turning into wide eyes and red tinged ears.

"What? Of Blaise? Why would I be jealous of Zambini?" His words came out rushed and high pitched.

"Wow, you sound incredibly convincing." I laughed, grabbing his hands. "Theres no need to be jealous, Blaise and I are just friends, always have been, always will be."

"I'm not jealous!" He pouted aggressively, taking his hands from mine and crossing them at his chest. I dug my head between his arms so my head was on his chest, and hugged him.

"Sure you aren't." I giggled. His arms loosened and wrapped around me properly.

"I just felt bad that I couldn't spend the day with you, that's all. And he got to." His chin rested on my head.

"If it makes you feel better, I bought you something." I released from his grip, searching for a smaller bag. Once I located it I pulled the tiny box out with a smile and handed it to him.

"Here, open it." He gave a puzzled look before opening the box. It held a ring in the form of a coiled snake with shiny green eyes. He smiled at it, slipping it onto his ring finger.

"I love it Darling." He went to bring me in for a kiss but I stopped him.

"Wait! Look at the inside of it." He slipped it off, turning it in the light so he could read the engraved message.

*16-04-1996*

*Y/n*

He smiled widely, just staring at the small lettering.

*His Y/n*

"And I got a matching one." I showed him the inside, mine saying the same but instead, his name. "Now we can carry a little piece of eachother everywhere." I commented. This time I let him bring me in for a kiss, lightly grabbing my jaw and tracing it.

"Blaise helped me pick it out." I said between kisses.

"Don't talk about him while I'm kissing you." He laughed breathily onto my lips, pulling me into his lap on the couch with him.

"Then who should I talk about?" I giggled, teasing him. He flipped us so he was hovering over me on the cold leather.

"Who do you think?" He replied intimidatingly, those icy eyes boring into my soul.

"You tell me!" I sat up and pecked his lips. He gave a playful eyeroll and came down to me, passionately kissing me. He ran his hands through my hair and down my body. His mouth now trailing kisses down my jaw and neck.

"Do you think we should move this to my room?" He whispered against my neck.

"Probably dimwit." I lightly shoved him off of me, getting up from the couch and grabbing him by his tie. "Wouldn't want to get caught by a poor first year." I laughed, beginning to pull him up the stairs.

"I don't even care, as long as I'm with you." He said in a dreamy voice.

"Oh sush Malfoy." I scolded as I shut the door to his dorm.

*Man am I in for it tonight.*

#draco malfoy x reader #draco one shot #draco x reader #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine

[yn-dreamlife]

My Hero

Mirio Togata x reader 

Quirk: emotions; you can feel others emotions and project your own onto others around you, in dire situations you can even shut your own emotions off.

Description: Sir Nighteyes death not only changed Mirio but also your relationship, but are you just being oblivious or did he really mean what he said that day? 

Warnings: Fluff, low-key angst, cuteness, nicknames 

I sighed as I looked at the man in-front of me. The man I loved, once so happy and full of light and now... faded. He smiled still of course but, it was dimmer and more often than not fake. Im sure others have noticed but none of them like I have, how could they? I’m his girlfri- his EX girlfriend. A thought the still broke my heart. 

But that didn’t mater any longer, he was still my friend, just like he promised. He was always there and gave me the space I needed after the break up. But of course I would never allow that for more than a day at most, he had just lost Sir Nighteye, the man he looked up to the man who was like a father to him, wether he told me or not doesn't matter. I knew that was true, that that was how he felt about him.  

And now I watch him talk down to himself saying so many horrible untrue things. “Lemillion? Ha you could barely save one girl, you didn’t deserve your quirk its good it was taken away-” 

“Togata-san!” I called out as he hadn't answered me previously calling him. His head quickly snapped up to me as he wiped his tears. I shook my head cupping his cheek. “Why do you speak so lowly of yourself?” 

“Because I deserve it! I’m not a hero, I was never going to be! I let Eri go, it’s my fault that Sir is dead!” He cried moving my hand away from his face harshly. 

I let it drop to my side limply as I activated my quirk. Letting the calm peace I always felt around him seep into him. “Mirio-san you know that isn't true.”

“But how can I be a hero without a quirk?!” He said frustrated but he slowly calmed down. 

“You already are.” I whispered and he scoffed softly. “You are Mirio-san, to so many people. But most importantly your m- I mean your her hero.” 

He looked up at me then, “hers?” 

I smiled as I held my hand out to the side gesturing to the person he couldn't see because she was hidden by a wall. “Eri-chan~” I cooed softly to the girl. 

She walked out quietly and grabbed my hand I could feel her calm aura as she took my hand which pleased me, I’m glad Mirios earlier distress didn’t upset her. But I made sure to use my quirk once again to radiate the happiness I felt by her being here outwards into the two people around me. 

“Hello” she said softly. 

“Eri-chan!” Mirio said happily and moved and pulled the small girl into a hug, a gesture she had become more adjusted to the longer she was around people like me and him. She was still working on smiling and embracing others back but we slowly got there. 

It took a lot of work from all parties. “But I thought Aizawa-sensei said she had to-” he began but I stoped him.

“ah ah ah none of that, Eri-chan is perfectly fine. Besides with me around everything is fine! you forget you may be part of the top three but I’m the number four student in our school for a reason!” I said smiling as I did my signature two finger salute making sure to add a small flourish of my wrist knowing it made Eri feel happier even if she still couldn't express it. 

A quirk of my own quirk, it pays of being able to feel her emotions as well as to radiate my own. 

“Our quirks are compatible, hers being largely tied to her emotions and mine being well, emotions.” I said shrugging with a smile. I saw the tension leave his shoulders, just like the moment she stepped out from behind the wall. I even thought maybe there was a hint of light back in his eyes... just maybe. 

“So I got special permission from the hospital and the school so I have the day off to take her out and I want you to come with! Nothing to out there like I know you usually like, but Tamaki did give me a few great ideas!” I said beaming at him glad I could come up with a plan. 

Mirio smiled then and we set off to go about our fun outing with Eri. We first took her to a small market and her eyes absolutely glowed when we found the fruit stand, I never thought I would see someone get so happy over an apple. 

So I quickly bought her one and it was worth every last scent once I bought her a whole bag just to see that smile, money wasn't always the easiest thing to come by for my family but I knew if she asked I would gladly buy her the world. 

As we where walking through the little market I was happy to see my thoughts where correct. It was mostly empty due to it being the middle of a Wednesday morning. There was a slight chill but that changed once Mirio placed his scarf around me. 

“Here, I can see your shivering.” He said smiling at me his blue eyes sparkling closer to what they used to. 

My cheeks burned red but I shook it off, “t-thank you.” I stuttered. As we continued walking I saw the Ramen shop me, him and the other members of the top three used to go to. Instantly I had an idea. 

“Eri-chan,” I said smiling down at the girl who's eyes practically glowed in wonder at the market. She looked up at me waiting for me to continue “Have you ever had Ramen?” 

At the mention of his favorite food Mirio perked up, “Ramen? Oooo I love Ramen!” He said happily. 

Eri shook her head, “No but I would like to try it if Lemillion likes it.” she said and I smiled at her as I grabbed her hand as well as Mirios out of habit. But as if I had been burned I quickly ripped my hand away from him. 

“S-sorry.” I stuttered quickly about to go into a fit of apologies, an old habbit I had broken thanks to our relationship but had fallen back into since it had ended. 

“No need, its alright.” He said grabbing my hand, I smiled widely. We went into the Ramen shop ordering all of our food, Eri getting the same thing as me but Mirio and her ended up sharing quite a bit anyways, it was safe to say this food would be a new favorite for her. 

And after a long day walking around secluded parts of our city it was time to return home. You three walked back to UA without thinking, after all Mirio and you had called it home the past few months but he faltered upon entering. 

“Oh,” he let out a slightly nervous chuckle, “guess I actually go back to my own house huh?” I looked down sadly not ready for the day to end. 

I came up with an idea and quickly smiled, “Well im sure the rest of the big three would love to see you!” 

The thought of his best friends caused him to smile as well, “Yeah you’re right! I can visit them!” he said sounding slightly shocked. 

“You always sound so shocked when I come up with a good plan” I said as I bumped his arm playfully as I smiled. 

Out of habit he pinched my cheeks, “Aw can't help it sunshine you're always surprising me!” I basked in the familiarity of the intimate actions but it was quickly ruined as he snatched his hand away. “I-i’m sorry y/l/n-san!” He said quickly bowing I went to reassure him but before I knew it he had hugged Eri said his goodbyes and took off running. 

I sighed willing the tears in my eyes away knowing I needed to keep composure for Eri. You smile at her, and it is only tinted with sadness, as you hold a hand out to her. She takes it in her smaller one and squeezes it gently. Its a moment or two of silent walking before she shockingly speaks up first. 

“Do you love Lemillion?” She asks softly you look at her shocked, how did she know about that? Of course you all had expressed your love to her but no child should truly be able to understand it enough to pick it up from people who don't blatantly show it. 

You wanted to hide it and say no but you never lied to her before so you wouldn't start now, you answered with a simple yes.

“Then why don't you guys kiss and hold hands all the time?” She asks softly. 

“well because we-we can't anymore.” You stutter shyly, shocked she even knew of such actions. But you scolded yourself reminding you she was quiet, not dumb. 

She seemed greatly confused by your answer, “But why not?” 

“Well you see thats a thing couples do and Mirio-chan and I are no longer together romantically.” You stated trying to simplify it. 

“Why?” She asks again. Oh ever the child with her curiosity. But this stopped you, you paused mid step and just stood thinking. 

Why in-fact did you two break up? You remember driving at the hospital after the attack to find Mirio alone in his room crying, you had heard about his quirk and Sir Nighteyes death so you quickly ran to him pulling him into a tight hug. 

“I’m so sorry m-” but he cut you off. 

“Sunsh-” he paused “y/n, we need to talk.” Instant dread filled your stomach. Why would he use your first name? Had something happened and the doctors and Mr. Aizawa didnt inform you about? 

“O-okay Mirio, you know I’ll listen.” He tried to speak but closed his mouth, repeating this process several times. “It’s okay take your time.” You cupped his cheek but he shook his head removing your hand as his eyes turned steely and determined. 

“I’m breaking up with you.” He said seriously. 

“W-what?” The word left as noting but a whimper, “Mirio thats not funny stop joking around.” but I felt it, the determination, the coldness. Things I had never felt aimed my way from him. 

“I’m serious. I’m breaking up with you, we are no longer dating we will now be friends, nothing more.” You wanted to protest to scream at him to stop this nonsesne to say it was just the grief but you didnt. You nodded your head doing the thing you hated most. 

You shut down your emotions, a power only you had. But this was the only way you could be near him without breaking. “No y/n I need you to leave. I don't want you shutting yourself down.” He spoke as I tried to sit down on the chair. 

I stood up then looking to the door, “fine... but im going back tomorrow and theres nothing you can do to stop me, you're my friend,” you looked at him then allowing the smallest emotion through a cracked smile, “I’m not leaving you alone in this.” He nodded and with that you left. You weren't looking and bumped into something. 

Looking up you say your favorite loud yellow haired teacher as well as your favorite much quieter black haired teacher. 

“Hey hey little listener whats going on?” Instantly you collapsed into him and broke down sobbing, Mr Aizawa removing your quirk so his overly emotional friend didn't get sucked down into the void of your despair with you. After a moment or so he left to go and visit Mirio knowing what the source of your pain was thought the sobbed attempt at an explanation you gave to Present Mic. 

You then looked back to Eri and answered truthfully. “I dont know.” I whispered, “I suppose because he no longer felt the same way he did for me before, he had been though a lot of grief and pain its only natural for feelings to change.” I said to her as I tried to keep walking but now she stopped. 

“But Lemillion loves you too why would you not be?” You chuckle at her and before you can dismiss her she continues. “he looks at you like Uravity looks at Deku.” At this I stopped walking again, It was very clear the feelings those two held for each other, could she be telling the truth? 

“She's right you know?” I hear a deep voice behind me and jump as I throw a punch out behind me.”Woah!” I now realize the man holding my fist is Mr. Aizawa and I immdeatly apologize but his chuckles stops me. “You’re good kid, almost got me and that doesn't happen very often.” he paused “But she is right he does still care for you. While you where crying with Mic I went to him he was... in less than ideal shape.” 

“Sensei with all due respect, of course he wasn't in good shape he just lost a father figure and his quirk.” I said as I now picked up Eri to calm her down from my sudden outburst of movement. She cuddled into my neck with a soft hum. 

“And he lost his biggest support system. I know you've noticed how he’s been and unlike most I have as well, believe it or not I observe quite a few things. Like how your grades are slightly slipping and you’ve been staying up later and later and how you’ve been zoning out in class.” 

I stared at him mouth agape, “H-how?” 

“I care y/l/n. I care about all my students wether I admit it or not.” he paused “repeat that to anyone and they'll call you crazy.” I nodded my head smiling and then slowly realized everything he said. 

“He loves me.” I muttered to myself. “He loves me!” I said louder. Eri looked at me and I saw a small smile on her face. 

“yes he does.” 

“I-I have to go!” I said frantically. Eri leaned forward moving into Mr. Aizawas arms. 

“Hurry up now. He needs you,” I ran off not even worried about Eri knowing she was in good hands with Mr. Aizawa. “Now more than ever.” Aizawa whispered as he watched her run off thanking him. 

Bonus of this scene:

“come on Eri ill take you back.” 

“Thank you dad.” 

“... you’re welcome.”

*brushes away tears of happiness from cuteness* Anywho back to the story ~Author-chan (no one ever calls me that :( )

As I ran towards the dormitories tears welled in my eyes. I was still so confused and still hurt, why did he leave me? 

“Togata-san!” I yelled as I got closer, in my distress moving instantly to his surname. “Mirio-san!” I yelled again when I got no response. I now could see him talking to my other two best friends but I didnt care as I continued to run. 

“Mirio!” I yelled. I now saw him spin around and begin sprinting towards me. 

“Y/n?! Y/n whats wrong? Are you hurt?!” He asks frantically as he takes my face into his hands turning it each way. I nod my head. “Who hurt you?” He practically grows out. 

“Y-you.” I whimper wrapping my arms around him. I feel him tense. 

“M-me?” I nod my head. “Wha-what did I do?” He asks pulling away and wiping my tears. 

“Y-you left me.” I cried and his face dropped again. “Why? Why did you leave me? Did you not think I would be good for you anymore? Did I do something wrong?” He continues trying to wipe my tears before stopping and giving up. 

“I-I thought you deserved someone better, someone with a quirk like Tamaki.” He whispers looking down, “I thought you wouldn't like me anymore because I cant protect you.” 

“Mirio you idiot I haven't liked you for years.” I whispered but he didnt look shocked because he could feel what I was about to say it seeped out of every pore of my body, “I’ve always loved you.” I whisper. 

“But you loved me when I was Lemillion!” He said quickly and I shook my head. 

“No I didn’t, I loved you as Mirio Togata, and then as Lemillion. And you always forget this,” I whisper I pull his head down placing his forehead on my own, “You might not be a hero but you’ve always been mine, just you Mirio. Not Lemillion, just you.” 

“y/n I know I hurt you and I don't deserve it but please,” he cupped my cheeks pinching them slightly “please be my sunshine again.” 

I laughed showing him a bright smile “You act like you had a choice.” And with that I pulled him into a kiss enjoying the feeling I had been missing these past few weeks. 

“I love you.” He whispered against my lips. 

“And I love you.” 

#mha #mha x reader #big three #mha mirio togata #Mirio #Mirio x reader #Mirio togata x reader #Lemillion #Pro-hero #angst #fluff #mha angst #mha fluff #mirio fluff #mirio togata #togata mirio x reader #togata mirio

[projectshadovv]

Thoughts on shadamy? Or how you see the potential behind their dynamic? 🥺👉👈

gosh i havent thought that much about shadamy in awhile!! i was REALLLLY into it tho, just as much as i was into sonamy, like i honestly couldnt decide which i liked more.

(under read more cause once again i am Just Talk Talk Talk)

obviously now sonshadamy is the way

but ok well, i think i ship them more platonically firstofall (tho im not against romantically, we just haven't seen them together that many times? i would LOOOVE more interaction with them) and she'd be really good for helping him open up more about his thoughts and feelings, encourage him to be kind and thoughtful. people like to say that Sonic is a lot like Maria, and maybe they are similar!- Maria never got the chance to be adventurous or active though, and in SA2, Amy clearly reminded Shadow of Maria just as he was about to watch Earth be destroyed. She reminded and showed Shadow the actual meaning in Maria's words, what she wanted for Shadow and thats how he was able to save the world.

Amy's a really 'get into her feelings' kind of person and i can see her and Shadow having a few arguements and disagreements and lack of communication and understanding between them. It would def be really rocky at first (while Sonic on the other hand, just *understands* Shadow and leaves him be if needed, or confronts him directly and straight to the point). It would take a long time for Amy to really understand Shadow who's a closed door, and Amy's a open book and maybe that scares Shadow. He doesnt understand someone like her, who is so selfless and kind and lends a helping hand to anyone in need, and maybe he hates being on the other hand of that dynamic- he sees it as being weak, and Amy could teach him that theres bravery in kindness.

On a happier note tho, some activities i can see them enjoying together. Clearly Amy cant keep up with him in combat or speed, but she has a good endurance, and i can see her taking him out shopping or to local game arcades, or maybe help him with gardening. he grumbles and complains at the thought of being around people and doesnt like the center of attention but i think he'd think the experience is worth it

In battle, he'd be pretty annoyingly worried about Amy, she's not as strong or skilled as him and Sonic, or as elusive and cunning as Rouge- and you know, he wouldnt wanna lose someone close to him a second time, so he'd prob jump in front of Amy all the time and Amy would get soooo pissed off at him and theyd just get into a yelling match in the middle of the battlefield and everyone else is just face palming and its sooo awkward for everyone.

Finally, sonic who's known amy like his whole life, assures Shadow that shes more than capable of taking care of herself. Yes she was the damsel in distress in the past, but she's gotten stronger, not only for her friends but for herself and he's seen the improvement. it takes a lot of convincing to calm Shadow and so maybe he tries to work together more as a team with her. He's not used to that, so he'll still mess up and still try to get the most enemies defeated, but thats because he wants all the glory. it's still kinda annoying to Amy but he's trying i suppose!

Or maybe I'm giving Shadow too much credit, maybe he leaves Amy by herself TOO much, leaves her to fend for himself, refuses to work as a coordinated team. He's always worked alone, and when he doesn't its with Rouge, and its more like theyre fighting alone but together- if that makes sense. This irritates Amy cause 'arent we friends? friends look out for each other' and he'd be like, ive always been able to look out for myself' and she'll say 'yes but not all of us are Ultimate Lifeforms like you. What's all your power and strength for if not used to protect those who need you?' and once again she reminds him of Maria's promise. She's really good at humbling him and gently or harshly putting him back in his place depending on whats going on.

Amy of course finds herself stumped from time to time and goes to Rouge a lot for advice, to which Rouge is happy to help but says sometimes its best to leave things alone as she's learned to do when it comes to Shadow. Rouge is kinda relived too, now that Amy's trying to take over as some sort of caretaker for Shadow. Takes some of the stress out of the older girl's hair. Amy can't leave things alone though and just pushes and pushes Shadow until he snaps at her and lets her have it. It sucks but at least he's communicating. Again, Amys not one to back down and tells him that what he does hurts her and his friends. Shadow grumbles that he doesnt care but he doooes when it comes to Rouge and Amy, and eventually learns that to have the girls stop pestering him is to just *tell them* what hes thinking or feeling. He learns its just easier to do that than have them bothering him for days and days.

this is a lot of "amy makes shadow a better guy" so let me think of how Shadow helps Amy for once, okay so obvs i think he'd be up to sparring with her on a lower level to help her advance her skills. She becomes a much stronger fighter. Since she doesnt have the speed he or Sonic does, he teacher her to put all she has into her Piko Hammer, helps her go through rigorous training to better wield the weapon in a more convenient manner rather than just swinging her hammer around and wasting energy when it doesnt hit. He'll even rope Omega in who's more than happy to shoot a moving target. Amy will have to skillfully weave and dodge through it all, or use her hammer to block or deflect the projectiles.

I guess he'd tried to teach her to be more careful of the people she trusted, not to trust so easily and openly. But I think she'd be pretty adamant about it, after all, she trusted him pretty much as soon as she met Shadow, and when she met Omega (E 123 Gamma? sorry cant remember if theyre the same character), along with a bunch of other baddies. She's not afraid of getting hurt or being wrong or trying to be the try hard good guy, she cares more about giving second chances to those who want it. Shadow and Amy agree to disagree but its brought up when its relevant.

hopefully this is good enough?? idk the shadamy fanfics i read back in the day, Shadow was either a really emo guy in highschool or some guy in a gang or mafia, and along came amy this really preppy girl who'd bring him out of his shell and into the sunshine, until one day her life was in danger and he'd have to save her, and sonic was either the villian or some asshole jock kid who get jealous now that amy wasnt always on him, or it was shadow's dad LOL that was THE formula for shadamy fics back then.

#me: huh i dont have many thoughts #me: i am ALL THOUGHTS

[vegetalass]

If you come back to this, would you consider doing hcs for the rdr2 boys coping with bad breakups? 👀🙈💖👉👈😳

I love your stuff btw! Hope the hiatus is going well and you're having fun being absorbed into new fandom stuff <3

JSKajhdhajfskhjdkajsh AHHHHHHHHHHH YOU ARE TOO SWEET WTF🥺🥺So I just went ahead and wrote this request for you LOOOOOL😎💘😳🤠

even tho I would still say I’m on hiatus.... I was just thinking about Mister Arthur Morgan today and how much i want to sit on his lap and hug him and kiss his cheeks and hold his face against my chest.... So I figure this is as good a time as any to write some stuff for rdr2...

Plus... I really am happy about the fact that people like my work enough to still send me asks!!! I miss the rdr2 fandom a lot tbh because as I’m sure you all have been know... The bnha fandom is a little..... wack tbh..... But regardless, I am having as much fun as i possibly can under the circumstances!!! Theres a lot of good content there... 

and just in case u like bnha... you can actually find me at @ihatebnha if you want to read any of my current BNHA stuff (tho im sorta taking a break there too temporarily). Either way, even if you don’t, i appreciate u all for sticking with me and I MISS U GUYS so i hope this does u all some justice!

anyway... i hope this is what you were looking for because I LOVE UUUUUU!! ENJOY💚🧡❤️

-

Arthur

First of all………. If you break up with Arthur I personally will come beat you up

Secondly….

Honestly, he probably just goes completely numb

He doesn’t have the emotional stability or strength to handle unpacking how or why it’s happening

You ask to break up with him and his soul leaves his body and he’s just “Ok.🙂Whatever you think is best, baby.”

And that’s the end of it. Won’t even let you explain.

This means don’t prank him by pretending to break up with him either because you’ll accidentally kill him

Like he genuinely probably thinks that he deserves whatever it is that made you want to break up with him and that there’s really nothing he can do to feel better about it

Even if was just something like, long distance problems or needing a break

This also hurts so badly because I feel like… getting to the point where Arthur even wants to date you takes FOREVER… He really really needs to trust and love the person who he’s with…

And so to see them leave would just break his heart up into pieces and he wouldn’t be able to handle that all over again

He just… becomes a ghost

Anyone from the gang even mentions it or asks how he is and he just tells them he’s fine and doesn’t need to talk about it

Even if he really is aching deep down… He just can’t bring himself to talk about it because it still doesn’t make any sense to him

And honestly, he just doesn’t want things to hurt any more than they already do by acknowledging them or facing them head on

So he just submits to it all being his fault, it was the right thing to do, that you’re happier without him, etc. and permanently shuts himself off

If you left him, that would be the absolute final straw and he would just throw himself into his work and never look back

And honestly wouldn’t even notice if someone else was making moves on you, that’s how out of it he is.

You wouldn’t even notice something was wrong unless you TRULY knew Arthur

He’s a tough cookie

John

John is the guy who acts like he’s fine if anyone sees him but cries 24/7 when he’s alone

If anyone asks him about it he’s like “I don’t care, it’s fine and I respect their decision… I’m a man, not a baby.”

But the truth is…. Sir… You ARE baby

Honestly…. He’s just saying all that so people don’t really know how much he’s hurting or think he’s weak and try to help

And in a modern setting, Abigail, Arthur, Hosea, anyone really, can’t go to his apartment because he’s lost all motivation to take care of himself

Dishes piled up, laundry everywhere, he’s been wearing the same pajamas for a week, his trash is full of microwave meal packages… It’s just so fucking bad

Single Man Shit

Probably goes through bouts of rage too

Was he not good enough? Did you think you weren’t good enough? Was it the fact that he has Abigail and Jack? Is he too ugly for someone pretty like you?  

It’s in these moments that he starts throwing stuff around and kicking chairs and whatnot

I imagine it’s all pretty nonviolent but he still just wants to make a mess to release all that pent up frustration

But he always just ends up on the floor or in bed crying again because he really doesn’t understand what went wrong since he was trying so hard to be a good partner

He wanted to be good for you :(

At least to make up for what he did to Abigail

Probably a couple months after the breakup he starts feeling better…

Picks his laundry up and does the dishes and starts to open up to the gang again

He’s definitely still sad when he thinks about it all… But he knows he’ll get over it as long as you seem happy from afar

If any of the other boys from camp try to make a move on you, he does his best to ignore it… Knowing it’s not his place to speak for you anymore, even if seeing you with someone else does make him sad

And he probably takes some extra time to spend with Abigail and Jack, too

There’s really no one like your family (even if they’re chosen) to make you feel better in situations like this

(Especially since they went through the same thing as him BY him)

Karma’s a bitch, lol

Charles

Charles... My love….. My baby…….

He takes a while to fall apart because honestly, he’s just so confused

He definitely does not recover quickly, but of course, appears to function kind of normally

If anything, he just gets more quiet and distant than before, simply because he needs a lot of time and space to think about everything

And because looking at you hurts so badly

When you mention breaking up, he probably just stands up and walks away

And if you chase after him trying to explain, he’ll tell you that you don’t need to justify yourself, and that he just needs to be alone

However, deep down, he’s gutted and really just needs the space to process what you said and then calm down

He doesn’t want to face the gang, and possibly you, again, crying, hence why he doesn’t come back for a while, but he knows that he can’t just run away from everything

He never thought that you’d be capable of hurting him in the way that you did

And he wonders what the final straw that pushed you over the edge was

He definitely saw you staying together for a long time, and had a lot of ideas for your future, so the breakup was especially surprising and devastating for that reason alone

And he would probably never want to speak to you again

Not really because he hated you, but because it would be too emotional for him to be around you knowing you didn’t feel the same as him

And even though he’s okay with emotions, the gang just isn’t exactly the right space for him to deal with them

Though he probably eventually talks about it with Arthur after a couple months, once he finds another normal, and bonds with him over the shared experience

He would never be able to ask you this, but he wonders if the reason you left him was for the same reasons he’s shunned in society

I think that would hurt him the most… if you didn’t want to be seen with him in public

Even though he knows that it’s unlikely, since he didn’t want to hear your reasons for leaving, it’s something that he thinks about

Even if it would hurt him to see you with someone else, he wouldn’t do anything about it

And as always, he’d just stay quiet, watching

Micah

Micah blames you

Everything is your fault. Everything.

Oh, you want to break up with him? When he’s been so nice to you? So good? He’d literally do anything for you, and you’re not happy with that? You’re such an ungrateful bitch! Fuck you! He never even wanted to date you in the first place, so it’s your fault for making him love you. Sorry he tried soooo hard.  

Any semblance of sadness he feels about losing you turns to rage so quickly since he just really cannot fathom why you’d leave him

Genuinely thinks he’s the best boyfriend you’ve ever had and ever will

SIR…????

Despite his anger, he probably is sad deep down… He just doesn’t really recognize it as sadness in the first place

His chest aches when he thinks about you? His eyes sting and burn when he looks at you? His stomach hurts at any and every thought of you?

You’re just an ugly witch who wants him dead.

He has never felt any of these things before, and frankly, he hates feeling like this.

And absolutely refuses to admit to himself that maybe… MAYBE… he just misses you and wants you back…

Honestly though, you will never get word nor wind of this, and before long, he really just does start to hate you.

If you weren’t in the gang, and were ever in a situation where you saw him again, he’d try to make your life a hell.

He’d tease you in front of whoever you were with, talking about how he’s probably the best fuck you’d ever have and that “if you still wanted to fuck him,” he “wouldn’t blame you…” and might even think about it going at it on more time

In a modern setting, he’s definitely a hate fucking type of ex

And if he ever saw you with a new boy, he would probably try to lay some hands on them for even thinking about touching you

AND STILL doesn’t realize that this means he still loves you… But whatever

If you break up with him, guaranteed you’re probably never getting back together

Dutch

Dutch is a tough one… I feel like it really depends on how long you’ve been together, the reason why you want to breakup, and how much value he has for the you and relationship itself

I think he’d be more upset about a long term relationship ending than anything and he’d definitely try to argue with you about any of the problems you bring up

He definitely hits you with the, “you should’ve known what you were getting into,” which, honestly, is a pretty fair point

He doesn’t actually want you to leave him, though… He just doesn’t really want to change

Which is why the whole thing ends up being so T O X I C

But if he realizes that you are actually serious about breaking up, he isn’t above saying that he’ll put the work into fixing everything

Though that’s kind of a lie, since he’s mostly just saying it to get you to stay

If the argument gets too intense, he’ll let you walk away

But only because he’s going to brainstorm about how to get you back

I’m sure this is a given, but none of the other boys at camp are allowed to even think about getting close to you

It wasn’t so bad when you and Dutch were still together, but if he wants you back, everyone is a threat

Arthur and John are given direct orders to not even comfort you… And Dutch even tries to get Miss Grimshaw to be mean to you

At least so he can swoop in and save you… Thinking that you’ll run right back into his arms if no one except him is nice to you

Because that’s where you belong

If he doesn’t manage to succeed in winning you back, the moment he realizes that everything is over, he will 100% start ignoring you

And don’t put it past him to try show off the fact that he’s found someone new to fuck

Honestly, since he’s the leader, at this point, he’d probably just be looking for a good way to get rid of you

Nothing violent, just find a little brothel he can pop you in when the gang’s about to leave some random town

Seems like a good idea to him… Since if he’s not special, no one is.

Same reason why, if you cheat on him, you will never see the whites of his eyes again

Much less anyone from the gang

Kieran

To give Kieran some credit... He’s probably the most in touch with his emotions

He doesn’t respond very well to the breakup, just says okay and lets you walk away, but he’s not above accepting the truth and just crying about it for a while

First and foremost, you need to be happy, even if it means without him

Part of him wants to beg for you to stay so badly… Hold onto the bottom of your shirt and cry… But I know that he probably thinks he doesn’t deserve to and would be able to stop himself

Obviously, you know better than him about everything so why would you be wrong about breaking up?

His work definitely lags and he ends up spending more time with the animals than anyone else, but he’s okay at holding himself together

No one would even know he’s still suffering unless they talked to him about it

Which they don’t, really, and honestly he’s sort of glad, because it gives him a lot of time to think about everything

Which is why, even months after the breakup, if he hasn’t found someone new, he still thinks about what it would be like if you stayed

Daydreams about cuddling with you, about dancing with you, about brushing the horses with you, starting a family, everything…

He wishes it were his so badly

And so seeing you with another boy, especially if it were someone else at camp, would absolutely kill him

And yet, he’d still manage to keep it all to himself. Nothing but his greedy eyes left

Self esteem gone forever… He’d take you back in a heartbeat

Doesn’t help that the poor baby definitely gets clowned by Dutch and Micah about not being able to keep “a good fuck” around

It really hurts… But in the end, he knows they’re right  

Javier

Javier probably gets over everything the quickest out of all of the boys.

I just see him as having the most romantic experience out of all of them, so he understands how relationships (and breakups) work

His logic is, why would he want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with him?

Which makes getting over you faster than normal

Especially since, regardless of why you wanted to leave, he’s going to respect your wishes

Definitely a little peeved at first though because he thought things were fine between the two of you

He’s just not going to bother trying to get you to stay

Especially since he knows that he can be kind of flirty with people even when he’s with you

That being said, if he sees any of the other boys at camp trying to get with you, he’s going to be BIG MAD

First of all, he was there first, so they should know better than to touch someone else’s things

And second of all, it would just feels like they’re showing off the fact that you left him, rather than the other way around

But honestly, he probably wouldn’t care if you found a stranger to mess with. It’s not like they know your relationship history, and honestly, he knows it wouldn’t be fair if he were ever to find someone else he likes.

So he’s fine watching you run around

It’s only ever late at night, if it’s been a while since you’ve spoken to him, or he’s feeling lonely, that he thinks about what things would be like if you were still with him

He wonders what really made you leave, and if you were honest with him during the relationship

Overall, he’d be okay, but would definitely still be down to fuck if you ever wanted! You may not want to be with each other anymore, but it doesn’t change the fact you guys had some bomb ass sex

Sean

Sean is another boy who’s going to be a bit more angry than sad

That being said, he’s no where near as bad as Micah and knows that the anger comes from the sadness

He’s just extremely frustrated that things didn’t work out, and resents the fact that you didn’t even want to try and fix things with him

It’s not like he really blames you for that… But he wishes that he could

Especially since throughout it all, even now, he doesn’t actually hate you, and still wishes that you would come back

He’s knows his personality can be a little overwhelming, but he would’ve been willing to change if it made you happy!

But honestly, since he doesn’t need to anymore, everything about him just gets a bit… Worse

Constantly making a show of showing off for the other girls at camp, always trying to flirt with the girls at the saloon, talking the boys’ heads off about anything and everything…

Just to distract himself and prove that he’s doing fine… That you didn’t hurt him at all, and he doesn’t need you

But even he’s not all that convinced

If any of the other boys at camp start messing around with you, he’ll definitely start a fight with them, feeling like were just doing it to piss him off

He’d lose, though, and would end up just going to bed and crying.

If he saw you flirting with a stranger, he’d be equally as mad, but he probably wouldn’t do anything other than get super drunk in front of you to ruin the mood

Eventually he starts feeling more like himself, and it definitely helps if you don’t treat him weirdly, but he finds that he does still think of you when he sees cute married girls or children, wondering what he would’ve had if things didn’t go wrong.

Especially since he also gets teased by the gang for not being able to hold it down… Despite his constant talk

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 headcanons #arthur morgan x reader #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #rdr2 #rdr2 x reader #I HOPE THIS IS WHAT U WANTED #ur ask was just so sweet i had to write something for it #and this was fun #anon #ask #Anonymous

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

#asky #careposting

[kaonite]

Can we hear about your Misraaks headcanons pls?

hahahaaha ahah okay so this turned more into picking him apart rather than headcanons but i mixed them in there ::3 (im so sorry, i cannot be coherent at all and gushed profusely. i promise my writing is way different than the way i type this out.)

for some reason it wont let me add tags??? so i hope no one is upset by that!

-misraaks doesnt know how to be 'normal' per say, barring the fact he IS an alien(this goes with my super personal headcanon that the wolves just breed some ODD eliksni. 110% there’s something SUPER up with the wolves (or gentle weavers) as a whole. there's something in the ether turning the wolves into human simps) and is just a weird guy? Who 'turns their back' on their own without being a little fucking odd? i mean if i saw a almost 7ft tall lady and she dragged me away from my attempted suicide (thats some baggage already) and offered peace in a my cultures way id rethink my ideals too (theres more to it i know but humor me!) Also unlearning ALL you've been taught was rough and trying but he was a young mind and to be honest... that's probably for the best (no doubt sjur did use him against the wolves but i really feel their friendship was genuine, full of a lot of love and respect after he stopped being an angsty vandal with unresolved mommy issues)

-he puts on this show of being strong and unyielding but if he trusts you he just crumbles and is bare to the bone about everything. misraaks isn't afraid of being honest per say, he may come off brash but he's just telling it like it is... no sense in beating around the bush. he's not an asshole but being raised the way he was uh... some tact had be learned. 

-no no no it's not bc his mother may have been strict and terrifying to some degree so he has to be the strongest  or he feels he'll fail everyone he knows. so when someone breaks down his walls he's just a soft, sappy individual who just wants everyone to have a peaceful life together while trying to be strong for everyone else at his own mental expense. hes so passionate, charismatic and driven even with all the odds stacked against him, the fucking STRENGTH in that. (DREG STRENGTH GO! even tho he's not a dreg u get my meaning, everyone so far has deemed him as such) what a king! ❤ (praksis u call him foolish again i'll break every one of the generators in your lab)

-brings me to my next headcanon that the nightmare in the moon, horkis? Is his mother and all the teachings that she and others brought upon him as a child up until meeting sjur concentrated into one being. that if he doesn't bleed for the cause, die for the cause, then he has failed his people.  OOPS! IT'S ALL DEEP SEATED TRAUMA! 

-also headcanon she was the one to dock him? to make it extra good when he thinks back on her in the misraaks lore tab 

(I normally don't slander moms bc damn if anyone slandered my mom id throw hands but bungie gave me the scraps and im working with them and misraaks seemed like he had a pretty standard, though super strict, upbringing ::) )

-he appears haughty, self-assured and a bit cold though that's just how he projects himself... he's not actually that way? I mean, hes pretty calm and collected. he expresses a deep  loyalty and love for Sjur and cares for his fireteam immensely. He trusted his fireteam enough to take them to her resting place, how is that not vulnerability we otherwise don't really see? 

He'd throw down for his friends and loved ones because that's just how Eliksni ARE. kin is everything, even friends. he just has a different way of showing it. 

-misraaks... okay i have to say he's into poetry, or talking poetically. the way he speaks is almost... romantic (not in a bad or spicy way!) i just know that boy really SPEAKS in such an eloquent, thoughtful sense. there's a lot of meaning and love in his words. he doesn't just SAY things to fill the silence. every word has a meaning, a purpose. i love that about him. 

-okay maybe i headcanon his fireteam being all around goofballs with him at times of respite, softening out his sharp edges. making him loosen up and enjoy the little things in life rather than worrying about the bigger picture. (bungie where's that getting drunk with his fireteam lore tab? i would like to see it. you have it with the yw and crow... it's the least you could do for the misraaks stans...) i just feel its hard for him to sit and do nothing, just to fool around, be a "normal person" due to the fact his whole life up to his moment of wanting to create house light has been death and war. He was MADE for war. it'd be hard for him to adjust to a 'happier' existence without a little prodding

-he doesn't care about glory, or is doing what he does for selfish gain. he genuinely just wants to help, to create peace. so if anyone approached him with the kell of kells title he'd promptly tell them to shove it (sorry misraaks... you're in the same boat with the young wolf... you can't escape your destiny)

-can we talk about how much misraaks unlearned from sjur then YEARS later is with dusk, meets the young wolf (that annoying bastard of a guardian! :) ), they spare him then it seems like something unlocks in him. like we were the final catalyst to his dreams being real. no longer did he want to be canon fodder, or use his crew as such, he wanted to lead... to be better, to do better for his people along the guardians. maybe he could be better than just another solider dying for a cause they didn't even know at that point. he could be everything his kind rallied against and be GREATER than he was taught to be , not stepping on those deemed less than him. his MIND 

-can i just shoehorn something in real quick. I don't believe he'd practice docking after everything. I just can't see it and i always see him having trauma around docking so why would he wish that on others as a treatment under his kellship? It took him A LONG ASS TIME to unlearn how fucked up it is and how their society as whole is (ie. he literally fantasized about his mother docking him. how is that not absolutely insane to hear?)  also it'd be useless at this point, he'd need people at their prime, not missing two arms for an old, unnecessary dark practice. he doesn’t want people to fear him, if your people fear you are you truly a leader?

*cuts this ask open with a knife and lets loose a character interpretation more than headcanons* OOPS

am i projecting? maybe but bungie gave me crumbs and i am going to use them

im holding back a bunch of thoughts bc most of them center around much more personal headcanons bc this is my emotional support eliksni :') plus ive written so much already im pretty sure you all think im insane.

If anyone has anything to add feel free! Id love to hear it, you may have some ideas/headcanons/interpretations i didn't list or i never though of! of course... most of this is projecting, who doesn't do that to their fave?

and honestly, i am so open to talking about him in depth, if you want to, shoot me a message! I'll get to it! :3

#okew NOW i can add tags??? thanks tumblr #anyways heres my insane rambling #ive had 2+ years to think about him and mold my perspective of him #watch bungie is going to do the polar opposite of everything ive said and i am going to walk out with my big bright red nose and clown shoe #HONK HONK #anyways enjoy and sorry it took so long! #asks #idk abt putting this in the main tag bc its not really something i share lightly tbh i dont think im very good at explaining things anymore #also most of this is biased as hell. i cant help but instill some personal shit in here. whos going to stop me? #headcanons

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

literally! i could go on a whole rant about my family back in india, but i’ll save you the horrible details. sexist, homophobic and racist assholes but they’re family and ridiculously charming so sometimes you can’t help but like them a little bit occasionally.

i remember being young and instantly wanting to label myself which obviously didn’t turn out to well. in a weird way i felt like i couldn’t ever “come out” to anyone- like it wasn’t until dan’s video that it rlly clicked that my identity as a lgbt person didn’t have to rely on labels. sorry that got deep, but i’m queer and i love it. just a baby queer 🥺🏳️‍🌈

ahhhh i hate to say it but you’re missing out! there’s a lot of rlly well written fics and cute headcannons :)

also yes there is a dnp in every universe. magnus is more like theatrical so like dan vibes. and ig phil is a bit more quiet and awkward? phil would also be catastrophic with a bow and arrow here let’s be honest. in conclusion, there is a dnp in every universe but phil somehow always gets himself in trouble (the man ate superglue for gods sake)

istg the first time i watch a joint video everything goes over my head cause i’m just freaking out over them and it’s only till like the third time when i start registering things lmao. (also dan video!! it’s going to be my first dinof upload!!)

a.. a toilet museum for the piece of shits we are. babe!!! you know me so well! *wipes away tears*

awhh tree you missed me! (also we’re newlyweds we’re allowed to be clingy on main smh. also i forget other people can read these lmao. shout out to the confused bystanders and lurkers!)

anyways, ilysm <3

mwah! (here’s your kiss)

- indi <3 <3

(with an extra long reunion hug cause i missed you loads)

p.s- guess what? i think you’re hilarious too :) (mwah! surprise kiss!)

no but you got it exactly right, i hate the things they say and do 90% of the time, but they'll say one (1) thing thats okay and im immediately back at square one loving them. it feels so weird sometimes to know they hate parts of me and love other parts, but i guess i kind of do that as well, and honestly im never going to be smart enough to sit down and figure it out, so i might as well roll with it

it was the same for me -- as soon as i figured out i was queer i instantly slapped labels on myself and interchanged them when they didnt fit faster than swatting a fly, which probably wasnt that great for my mental health at the time, and it was only after i spent two hours googling different labels and realizing i had literally tried all of the ones i'd been seeing that i was like oh screw it and legit a week later i was like why the FUCK didnt i do this before bc i was so much happier with a broad label to call myself and no label in my head than i ever was trying to mold myself into one. i love being queer tooooo!! best part about having such a broad definition of yourself is relating to everyone and not feeling like one group "owns" you more than the other. it quite literally is "you gay??? i gay!!! yay!!!!!"

no yeah im definitely going to read some (when i remember lol. symbrock owns my heart rn) if theyre Like That in the books i can only imagine fics 😌 malec my beloved (also looking forward to finding malex fics mixed between, like rick i know you're a cassie stan but maybe chill lol) (ah that reminds me, i just got chain of iron and the dedication 🥺 author besties are the best, i cant wait to read it) (but goddamn, its so Thicc, its one huge book)

gods, if i had any art skills whatsoever i would draw dan with warlock robes and cat eyes, plus can you imagine phil with runes and a seraph? wouldnt even have to change anything bc phil has black hair and blue eyes and magnus has brown hair 😌 they really are in every universe through and through. plus, alec is pretty clumsy too, hes mostly good with a bow bc of his sure-strike runes and etc, so theres still hope for phil. and i can definitely see dan being like "ugh shadowhunters get them out- oh? shadowhunter pretty? mine"

no but actually, i also watch them in a state of shock and wouldnt be able to answer any questions whatsoever about it until the third rewatch. honestly if it weren't for so many people live-reacting i would have absolutely no clue what's going on (ahhh your first dan video!! you are about to love your dinof virginity, i hope youre prepared 😌 glad its a full-out production for the post-big phannies bc honestly yall deserve a comeback in style)

*blushes* aw shucks. well, we got married for a reason, didnt we? 🥰

☺ i did miss youuu 🥺 (you jest but i'd be that annoying friend whos like you wanna know what my spouse did yesterday *no* oh well, they- and do that for at least a year, lmao. i also forget other people read these, it's like what??? no we were whispering?? shout out to the non-indians reading our telugu rants and quietly muttering whatthefuckwhatthefuck under their breaths, we're not on drugs i promise)

ily toooo <3

mwah mwah, i missed you so you get two <3

(*hugs you back really hard bc i missed you too*)

ilysm indi <3

😊🥰🥺 awww thank youuuu (ah! you got me again!! mwah) <3

#asks #indiphannon #the tree speaks