#he was a hypocrite until the end and then he realized he ruined everything

[heraldofcrow]

What did Laurence do to Maria to make her so mad?? (no I do not accept 'existed' as an answer because that's basically cheating, everyone can answer that and not be wrong)

WELL HE KINDA SORTA ACTED LIKE THE FISHING HAMLET WAS NO BIG DEAL AND THEN SORTA KINDA LET HER PEOPLE GET MASSACRED AND THEN KINDA SORTA LET THE RESEARCH HALL GET WORSE AND YEAH IT JUST KEPT GOING DOWNHILL FROM THERE SJHSKJSHJKS

#in my headcanon maria and gerhman actually felt really bad about a lot of things but laurence tried to act like everything was fine #he was a hypocrite until the end and then he realized he ruined everything #but at that point maria was dead rip #Maria just didn’t like his arrogance and stubbornness #she was really weighed down with guilt lol #it’s complicated in my head but yeah i’ve never seen laurie and maria as having got along #it’s a mess tbh #lady maria #laurence the first vicar #bloodborne #asks #mutuals

[honeygrahambitch]

Will grabbed a bottle of soy sauce and two ginger roots like Hannibal had asked him and lined up in the queue.

He had to go to the asian store to grab some emergency items which Hannibal needed urgently for dinner so of course he had asked Will to get them. He would have gone himself but he needed to take care of the rest of the food which was still cooking.

Will was not thrilled by the idea. They had been busy with a nasty murder last night and he thought he would be able to sleep during the whole afternoon. But those plans had been shattered when Hannibal had walked into the doorframe of their bedroom with a serious look on his face.

Will had been worried at first but the sentence which came next made him lift an eyebrow.

"I am in urgent need of soy sauce and ginger, Will."

So that was the reason why he was now waiting in the queue. There was just one cash register and she was quite slow.

Two young girls were sitting in line in front of Will, gossiping about "some hot dude at school". He was cranky anyway, the loud chatter and giggles only pissed him off more.

"No, no, no, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He is flirting with the whole school. Especially with the freshmen." One of them said and laughed loudly.

"I'm pretty sure he has. He posted a picture of himself and a pretty girl. Older than us though." The other one replied skeptically.

"Oh, shut up, Beverly, don't ruin my day!"

Will could not hear the rest of the conversation. His mind went blank as soon as he heard the name.

Her severed body flashed before his eyes and then their last conversation. He had replayed it in his mind for many times. It was the crime Hannibal had commited but her blood was not on his hands. It was on Will's.

"Sir?"

He had zoned out so deeply that he didn't realize he was right in front of the cashier. He mechanically paid for everything and left the store.

As soon as he got outside, his mind went back to the crime scene. To him, it had been one of the worst crimes Hannibal had ever committed. Right next to Abigail's. He had taken a good friend away from him.

She had been the only one ready to risk her job and life in order to look for evidence for him. Because he had kept pushing her. He had insisted and insisted until he had killed her. He felt something between rage and deep sadness towards Hannibal, but he felt even more rage towards himself. He shouldn't have let her get that close.

And for what? Her death had been in vain. He and Hannibal were almost engaged at that point. All the struggles to catch him had been reduced to nothing. Will felt like the biggest hypocrite. He ended up exactly like him. Beverly would have been disgusted if she knew what she had risked everything for.

"Will? Is everything alright?"

He had dissociated on the whole way home and didn't even greet Hannibal when he came in. He just left the paper bag on the kitchen counter and then he walked straight towards their bedroom.

"Will?" Hannibal insisted and followed him.

Will didn't even notice his attempts. It felt as if the floor was simply pulling him in as the walls of the room kept spinning. He hadn't thought about Beverly in a few years now. He had repressed everything so deeply that it felt as if a train had hit him.

He came back to his senses when he felt Hannibal's thumb on his cheek, wiping away a tear which escaped from his eye.

"It seems like you entered some dark rooms." Hannibal said referring to his mind palace.

Will nodded shortly as more tears ran down his face.

And in a matter of a second, the rage, the blame, the guilt, the sadness and the regret were replaced by something else.

He missed her.

She had been his friend and he was missing her. The adrenaline rushed so fast to his veins that he had to allow himself to sit on the floor, followed by Hannibal.

"I miss her" was all he said before he couldn't speak anymore and broke down in tears.

Hannibal wrapped his arms around him, as gently as possible, grateful that he did not push him away this time. Will pressed his face against his chest to muffle his sobs and look for some sort of comfort. Peculiar, to seek peace in the arms of the one who had caused you pain. Even more peculiar, to be able to admit that he loved him more than his own life.

Hannibal tried to figure out who he was talking about. Abigail? Hopefully not Molly, God. Alana? Even worse if it was the case. He doubted it was Abigail, he would usually get pretty cold towards him when it came to Abigail.

The Will he was holding now in his arms needed physical touch. Needed to consolation. Needed sweet words.

However, one thing was certain. He was the reason for Will's pain. It was certainly someone he had taken away from him that he was grieving now. If he could, he would bring back to life anyone, only to sooth his pain.

"I am so sorry." He had said as one of his hands ruffled his dark curls.

In reply Will sobbed even harder to the point where Hannibal wondered if he could breath properly.

Will kept crying in his arms until there were no more tears left. Until he could not feel a thing anymore. Not towards Beverly's death, not towards Hannibal and nor towards himself. He felt as cold as he would usually feel when he would take away someone's life.

He lifted his head and for a few seconds he and Hannibal looked at each other. In contrast to his, Hannibal's eyes were full of emotion. He wanted to help, to make it a bit better.

Will simply got up, turned his back to him and left the room, letting him on the floor alone with his regrets and apologies.

#i know this starts funny #and i know it ends miserably #but heyyy you missed an angsty fic right #hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

[falleri-salvatore]

Plot Bunny that will not leave me

--Salem gathered the 4 Relics and successfully summoned the gods. The Brother Gods deem humanity unworthy and cast Ultima, once again decimating the entire human population except for 2. --Jaune and Ruby are the only survivors; due to Ruby and Jaune's Aura being linked and successfully neutralizing the Brother's attack. --Jaune and Ruby wander around empty Remnant, with Ruby pretty non-responsive. She walks she eats and breathes, but she does not talk does not laugh nor emotes. Jaune is little better, but can still force himself to push through for Ruby's sake. If there is one thing he was good at, it was being strong for someone else.

--Jaune and Ruby find ruins regarding Salem and Ozma's time, during the Age of First Humanity. Within them is a library with old tomes and grimoires. Most of them are ruined, but some of them are in perfect condition despite clearly being ancient. --Signs that someone occasionally read them in recent times are apparent. Jaune discovers even more secrets by way of notations made by someone within the texts. Speaks of how the Soul is made of Light and Dark, and while humans have learned to harness the Light, the ways of Darkness have been lost and reduced to mere myth or at best, as obscure cults.

--Jaune reads everything he finds aloud for Ruby to hear as well, even if he is unsure if she is even listening. He makes sure that she eats her food and makes sure to keep her healthy. 3 years since the end have passed and Ruby has yet to respond. --Jaune realizes that most of the texts speak regarding the harnessing of Light and Darkness, and how full mastery of both can lead to a fusion of sorts, which could lead to the successful usage of the soul's full potential. Some notations even theorize that whatever the "Darkness of the Soul" is, it is most likely associated with Grimm and their make-up. --Jaune recalls the converstations he had with Pyrrha back at Beacon, how everytime she spoke to him and taught him about Aura, she spoke about it in a way that was very similar to spiritual doctrines and beliefs. And how everything she told him were basically repeated in the tomes and grimoires. --Some texts also spoke about a time far before even Salem's. Specifically, they spoke about a "Tyrant of Light" and about how the Darkness was constantly being mislead and betrayed by it, and how the tyrant's desire for Absolute Order caused it to create heartless laws in order to keep all creation under the grip of its authority while hypocritically referring to it as "maintaining peace", despite said tyrant also being the one who often drove zealots to cause wars and unrest by crusading on its name every time humanity seemed to have reached a golden age.

--5 years since the end of the world and Ruby still hasn't shown any changes to her condition, while Jaune has now taken to travelling across the desolate Remnant in search of more tomes, texts or even any more objects or relics that can describe more about the old age; his newfound thirst for knowledge and helping Ruby being the only things that kept him from completely shutting down like Ruby had.

--He now knew some magic spells, though he did not have Magic to use them, but has tried to access the so-called "Darkness of the Soul" the texts spoke of, in order to fuse it with "The Light of the Soul", that is to say Aura, in order to create a new energy he hypothesized to be equal to Magic. Jaune's belief was, that if he could use "The Power of the Soul in it's Totality", and if he could use Magic with it; then maybe he could tinker with it until he could finally use the knowledge that gave him his hope back.

--A tome spoke of an ancient time spell. The wizard who wrote it, one who hailed from a time before Salem and Ozma; spoke of how humanity's fate had long been decided. The wizard also spoke about how "The Tyrant of Order" had actually come to disdain his and his brother's creation due to them always using their free will in way he did not approve. To the one of Light, free will meant "Having Free Will to choose to submit to him"; but humans were too independent, the more the one of Light tried to impose his will upon them, the more he tried to force them to a certain path, the more the humans defied him and rebelled. While Dark had animosity for the humans due to their lack of acknowledgement, he also greatly respected their drive to survive and thrive. Even the Grimm were, in his eyes, his own way of showing affection.

--To the "Lord of Destruction", Grimm were not only meant as a tool to cull the truly vile and evil (Jaune: "Wait, is that why they always seemed to sense focus on negative emotions"), they were also meant to give humans a challenge, a struggle. A constant battle that would force humans to constantly adapt, constantly grow, constantly evolve; it was meant to feed the fire of their determination and their passion for life. Although humans, in turn, saw it as the hatred of a scorned deity was never acknowledged for his actions nor thanked for his gifts.

--Back in the truly ancient days, the "God of Darkness" and the "God of Light" were equally worshipped and revered. Light and Dark, Life and Death, Creation and Destruction; these two concepts were acknowledged as the two pillars that served as the foundation of their world's laws. While one saw humans with an affection akin to how one would care for a toy for their own amusement, the other considered humans as no more than puppets for him to control, no more than servants to praise him. To one, their free will and spirit was what made humans interesting and entertaining; to the other, it is what made them insolent and compelled them to chase their own self-destruction. .........More to be added later

#rwby #rwby shitpost #rwby plotbunny

[takaispog]

DSAF hot take [not really]

Steven x Peter is less horrible than Davesport. I'm only saying this due to the amount of HATE I've seen for the Steven x Peter ship. I get having opinions, but outright hating on the ship and calling it "toxic" has been pissing me off.

If you want to talk "toxic", let's talk about Davesport!

I ship Davesport myself, but ONLY Flipside Davesport. I do NOT ship Jack and Dave during the first or second games, nor do I ship Davetrap with Jack, no matter how many romantic lines there are between them, I will NOT ship them then. Dave practically ruined Jack's life. He outright doesn't feel remorse for anything he's done, only when his soul is split does he feel bad. But the fact he had to have his soul SPLIT IN TWO to realize what he did was wrong, and even then Flipside Dave has to FIND OUT Henry is a bad person and still defends him until he comes to the conclusion Henry is a bad person.

Dave was manipulated BADLY, I get that, but it doesn't excuse the shit he did.

The amount of toxicity between the two of them if you decide not to help Dave is BAD. It shows how easily Dave can turn on Jack if Jack decides not to go along with everything he wants.

Also Dave.. stalks Jack? I don't know why people romanticize that. Stalking is fucking CRAZY behavior and I don't care if Jack "doesn't care" THAT ISN'T CUTE.

Flipside Dave is a DIFFERENT STORY. That's why I only ship his good side with Jack.

Now for Steven x Peter! I don't get why people hate the ship so bad. I get having opinions, I have opinions of my own, but usually my opinions are backed by.. valid points?

I get why Steven x Peter can be seen as "toxic", but outright it just.. isn't? At least not to the extent people think it is. If you want to bring up the point of "Steven turning Peter into a phone guy and basically ruining his life", you'd be hypocritical to the fact Dave also ruined JACK'S life.

You cannot defend a ship that is, on realistic standards, WORSE while hating on a ship that isn't even that bad.

Peter never outright says anything bad towards Steven. I've played through the game multiple times, I don't even think they get angry at each other ONCE.

Steven also goes to APOLOGIZE to Peter for what he did. They're not shown to be mean towards each other throughout the 3rd game. It mostly comes down to mischaracterization [people making Peter into a "bad guy" when in reality he's one of the characters that hasn't done anything horrible, making Steven into "anxious boy" when he's not and he's just scared of dying [he's still an asshole, he just wants to change]] and I see that A LOT with this fandom.

Get a grip.

And Peter's line about some people not deserving to be saved, I don't know why people decided that was about Steven? It could've been about Dave or even himself.

At the end of the day, Steven x Peter isn't as toxic as the fandom makes them out to be. You can have your headcanons and say they hate each other, but leave people alone when they say they ship them together.

It's literally a game about pixel men and child murder. As long as you aren't shipping characters together that are ACTUALLY EXTREMELY toxic or just fucking illegal [im looking at YOU proshippers.] you're fine.

Ship Flipside Davesport, ship Steven x Peter!! As long as you're happy and you aren't causing others harm, you're fine.

That's about it!! Thank you for reading <3

#dsaf #dayshift at freddy's #dsaf peter #dsaf dave #dsaf jack #dsaf steven #davesport #steven x peter

[nomoreusername]

Hypocritic

Newt x female reader

⚠️Mentions of suicide⚠️

I stood at those walls waiting for them to open. No, I'm not a Runner. I'm just a Builder, but today I have to be behind those walls before someone notices.

I had tried to stay here. Every day I woke up and smiled like it was nothing. I'd tune out Gally's complaining. I'd laugh at Minho's sarcasm and Chuck's pranks. Something I'd do every morning was wake Newt up with a kiss. Not today though. Today he'd wake up to a note. That note would be the last thing anyone would have of me.

Have you figured it out yet? Today I'm going to jump from those walls, and I'm going to die. I even got Minho to tell me who was running what section today. No one suspected anything. Not when I requested paper and pen, not when I stopped going to Greenie night, and not when I got more curious about the Maze. It wasn't their fault of course. I always was curious about everything. I could change just like that and blame it on girl things. In reality I didn't have a choice if I wanted to keep this hidden. I refuse to let something stop me.

I sat by those walls. In five minutes I'd slip inside without a word. How long until they noticed? I guess when Newt wakes up to that note.

I wanted to cry, but nothing came out. I was too far gone. I hope they understand that I can't stay trapped here forever. They didn't expect me to, did they?

I heard the doors open. My stomach did flip flops. A part of me was screaming that I could just stay. That I had all my friends here, and I could maybe tell them. I pushed it away.

Looking around the Maze I put one foot in as if it would trigger something. As always nothing changed. This place was still the same as always. It had the same weather, the same sounds, and the same dread that came with being here.

I took a deep breath before going down the doorway. As I did I heard the last person I could have wanted to.

"Don't take another bloody step."

"Minho said I just had to grab something here real quick. I'll be back,"I deadpanned, not daring to turn around. "Then look at me,"He demanded. I didn't.

"Y/N, look at me!"

I couldn't. He always knew when I was lying. I had to run before he could catch me. Despite his limp he had still been a Runner. He knew more than me.

Before he could react I sprinted around the corner. I couldn't let him catch me. I had planned this out too long.

I turned another corner and saw a dead end. Tugging on a vine I tried to make my way up until Newt was already there. He pulled me away as I struggled to get out of his grasp. It didn't matter where I went. I just couldn't be here.

"Let me go! Newt, let go of me!"I screamed. "Stop it! I'm dragging you back if I have to. Do you hear me?! You're not jumping off these stupid walls!"He yelled. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!"I repeated. "I'm not going to do that so just come back to the Glade!"

"Just stop! I'll find another way! I don't care how bad it hurts! I just can't stay here!"I cried out. "I'll keep you in the slammer for the rest of your life if I have to!"

"I'll find a way there too!"

"You're being selfish!"

I froze at those words. We both had. A heavy silence filled the air.

"I'm selfish? I'm the selfish one? But you're such a saint, right? You're so good because you wake up every day, right? Right?"

"Just please stop. Just come back to the Glade. We'll figure out how to handle this,"He begged. "There's nothing to handle. Don't you get it? I'm done with everything here,"I cried. I was losing energy to keep struggling.

"Hey. What are you two doing here?"Minho asked. Nobody was supposed to be running here today. Why was everyone ruining this?

"Help me Minho. Grab her legs,"Newt instructed. I was pathetically kicking. Minho seemed to realize what was going on because he ran like his life depended on.

"Just put me down! Why would I go back? Give me one good reason? So you can tell Alby and keep an eye on me like a child?"I spat, venomed coating my voice. "If that's what it takes then yes."

They kept holding me until I was out. By now everyone was awake and turned their head at the sight. A Runner and an ex-Runner who had tried to kill himself there were carrying a distraught Builder.

"What happened? Why are you two there?"Alby asked. Minho's back was covering me, and I wished it could stay that way forever.

"It's Y/N,"Newt uttered. Alby's face dropped as he saw them carrying me. He knew to. How many Gladers had figured this out?

"Get her to the Med-Jacks,"Alby commanded. "I'm not hurt. I'm fine,"I spat, hoping it was convincing. "No. Just get her there."

I gave up on my struggle and let them carry me there like I was something that needed help. They couldn't fix it. What was so hard to understand?

"Clint, Jeff,"Newt called. They came over and saw the scene. I tried to hide the tears rolling down my face.

"Nothing's hurt,"I said before they could ask. They looked at each other like they knew, and I guess they did.

They finally set me down but blocked any way out. I stared at the ground not talking. Even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to say anything.

After concluding nothing was wrong I tried to leave. Instead, Newt stayed there.

"I need to work."

"You need to stay,"He said, in a softer voice. I hated it. "I have a job to do. I can't stay here forever."

"You've lost your mind if you think I won't stay here."

I felt rage fly through me. How dare be stand there like this. He should understand better than anyone here.

"Do you think you're all godly Newt? Well, you aren't. You're nothing more than a hypocrite."

Every noise here stopped. I already knew what they were thinking. They thought I was a monster for saying that. They thought I was evil for reminding him of all he tried to push past. They thought I was a coward for refusing to admit what I had done.

"Can I talk to her for a minute? Alone?"Newt asked. They looked at each other but left. I had lost any rage I once had. Now I felt shame that I shouldn't. I hadn't done anything wrong. This place was hell, and we all knew it. Why was it so bad for someone to want to leave it?

"Sit,"He said softly. I didn't dare look up or do it. "Please love?"

I don't know why that name made me change my mind, but it did. He slowly sat beside me.

"I know I'm a hypocrite. That's why I think I should tell you what happens."

"I don't want to know."

"You need to love. You need to know the aftermath of everything once you try to kill yourself."

I winced at those words. I had been avoiding them so it wouldn't hurt as much.

"That's one part. Every time you hear words like that you feel like nothing's okay. Your whole world feels like it's frozen. Then, there's all that goes through your head on the way there. You keep convincing yourself that it's okay. You keep telling yourself everyone will get over it. After all, we're trapped here so it shouldn't matter."

"I don't want to-"

"You need to. You need to know why it's never worth it. I can stop for a second, but you need to know."

"Please stop for one second?"I asked, feeling my eyes tear up. "Of course love."

I don't know how long it was, but eventually I shook my head.

"As you get deeper in you start asking yourself why no one noticed. You feel like you had given signs they had all ignored. Then, you think about how much you had worked to hide them. It's a dark battle. Why didn't they notice and I'm glad they didn't notice."

I curled my knees to my chest. I hadn't gone that far in. He wouldn't let me.

He put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"As you climb you don't think of anything. You're just numb. There's a black hole of nothing. Once you're at the top you start thinking of it's worth it. You know you'd be leaving people behind, but you try to tell yourself they wouldn't care. Then, you jump. On your way down you see the faces of everyone you cared about. You hear their words and all the good times you had fly through. Those seconds feel like hours. You want to change it, but it's too late. You're gone, and nothing will bring you back. Yes,I am a hypocrite, but if it means I need to tell you why you have to stay I'll wear that title with pride."

"It doesn't feel okay. I feel like I'm being torn apart. I want to scream until I can't. I just want to throw everything I can. I want to cry, and I just want it to stop. I can't even wake up before I feel it Newt. Why can't I have at least a few good seconds before I wake up?"I asked, finally letting myself cry. There were so many years I had been trying to hold back. Hiccupped sobs left me. All the air was stolen from me.

I felt Newt place his arms around me. I hugged back as tightly as my exhausted body would allow and sobbed on his shoulder. He sat there and didn't say a word.

"When does it go away?"I asked. He looked at me and shook his head. "It never goes away, but it gets smaller. Soon you can laugh and smile again. You can be happy that you get to take another breath, but it never truly goes away."

"How do I make it better?"I asked. "You learn to ask for help,"He told me, wiping those tears from my face. He pushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.

"I just want to sleep,"I murmered.

"Lay down love. I'll be right here when you wake up."

I put my head on his shoulder and told myself he wouldn't leave. He'd be there when I woke up, and we'd got from there. Right now I just need to sleep on his shoulder.

#newt x y/n #newt x reader #tmr newt #newt tmr #one shot #tmr #the maze runner #hurt/comfort #angst #bittersweet fluff

[giantchasm]

“I have this recurring dream in which my father breaks the neck of every pigeon in the park. I help: a good daughter. I snatch them from the air and tear out the feathers. Bloody. [...] All I do is think about stories. About history, or his story, or my story. They’re all the same story, really. Someone always ends up holding something mangled.”

Been thinkin’ about Susie a lot lately. I feel like her father and her would kind of be hypocrites if they didn’t have any robotic upgrades themselves. They talk up the power of cybernetics so much. They’ve gotta be at least half cyborg by now.

And that led me to the train of thought that was ‘Imagine how scary that must be. Imagine finally coming home after being stranded for so long, only to realize your father and his company have been warped into something you don’t even recognize-- something that you’re expected to participate in: change yourself for. Do you follow him?’

...Of course you do. It’s not even a question. He’s your father, and you love him. You’ll follow him to the ends of the Earth. Try to ignore the seeds of resentment sewn.

You’re a good daughter. You’ve always preferred things orderly, anyways.

Some bonus doodles of what I think she might look like before and after, as well as some thoughts on what gizmos she has under the cut

I thought it’d be cute to give her the same glasses she has as a part of her Weekend Outfit mask in Merry Magoland. She doesn’t need them any more, but she’s still a fashionista at heart.

She’s got a lot of upgrades! Probably also has a chip in her brain to Google things on a whim as well as control her Business Suit remotely. 

Nowadays, she’s pretty comfortable with all of her tech. Whereas at first she was unnerved, now it’s just a part of life. She even sees herself as superior to people made solely of flesh and blood. She was regularly using Star Dream up until its demise.

When Star Dream died, a lot of her tech probably started shutting down. Using her smarts, though, she was able to maintain it herself, and she regularly repairs herself to keep everything working. A lot of other Haltmann Works Company employees with similar upgrades but not as much brainpower weren’t nearly as lucky as her, though.

She still upgrades, updates, and mechanizes herself pretty often. Even if it’s sort of horrific, it’s just kind of a part of her now. She has a codependent relationship with and can’t separate herself from the tech that ruined her family. Not that she seems to want to.

In that way, she’s every bit as much the Mother Computer’s metaphorical daughter as she is her father’s literal one. Oof.

#kirby #susie kirby #susanna patrya haltmann #max profitt haltmann #haltmann kirby

[iwasbored777]

If Marinette was a guy, let me tell you what would've happened. People would go WILD for a sensitive, artistic and cute boy who's lovesick and a big romantic. Him having Adrien's photos would never be a big deal bc from a long time, fandom is apologetic and too forgiving of a male characters action. He wouldn't be called a stalker, he would be called protective and so possessive and cute. I've seen ppl defend a guy who drugs the mc and sexually assaulted her. Trust me, this won't be a problem.

I know! Literally the only male main characters who get crap for their behaviour are Danny Zuko from Grease, Noah from Notebook, Howard Volovitz from Bug Bang Theory (who btw had character development unlike Raj who ACTUALLY deserves hate but doesn't get it) and Ross Geller from Friends. Everyone else is totally fine.

I know the praise for being "good fathers" Homer Simpson from Simpsons and Richard Waterson from The Amazing World Of Gumball get when they are both sh*tty fathers and sh*tty husbands.

Homer always whines about how much he hates his life and his own family and his job and literally all his friends tell him they would die for a life like that but he doesn't appreciate it. Every time Marge told him to do something useful for their household he doesn't want to do it and she has to. For a while I loved him because he's hands down the funniest character in the show until he found out Marge is going to see a therapist every week from how unhappy she is with her life, instead of talking about that to her and trying to make their marriage better, he chose not to tell her anything because he thinks the therapy is enough, he didn't even feel sorry for her because after therapy she's always cooking good meals and is in mood for s*x so it works for him. Every time he ruined something she made he gets rewarded in the end of the episode, and she and their kids always forgive him. He literally doesn't even care about Maggie, always makes Lisa's life harder, and HE LITERALLY CHOKES BART AND PEOPLE SEE THAT AS FUNNY AND NO ONE EVER CALLED IT OUT! Bart literally has trauma from that, it was established in the show and the movie. You know who is hated in that show? Lisa. Lisa, who is one of the sweetest characters and one of my favourite characters I relate so much to, is hated because of her religion, Homer is loved for being a jerk.

Richard Waterson is so bad my own grandma hated him! He does literally nothing around the house and kids, Nicole has to work and take care of three freakin children AND the household but he can get away with everything and people even see him as a good guy who "tries his best" because he spends all day in bed eating junk food.

Peter Griffin and Quagmire from Family Guy are also horrible characters. Peter is a bad father who hates his daughter and Quagmire is a LITERAL r*pist and people not only love Peter but also laugh at Quagmire's r*pe jokes and scenes where they hinted that he r*ped someone.

Patrick Star from Spongebob Squarepants is so bad that I was a kid and I already hated him. He's treating Spongebob like cr*p and uses him and Spongebob always has to apologise cuz HOW DARE HE BE MAD AT HIS BEST FRIEND WHO'S ALSO THE WORST FRIEND YOU COULD EVER HAVE and Patrick is so popular he even got a spin-off show.

Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls was the biggest hypocrite ever and no one hates him, everyone hates the main female character who was also a hypocrite but you know how it goes - she learned her lesson, she became a better person, and he got rewarded even though he's still a jerk and he doesn't even realize he's a jerk.

I already wrote about My Best Friend's Wedding and Made of Honor being two movies with the same plot but MBFW has a female lead and MoH has male lead and the female lead also suffered the consequences and learned her lesson and she lost and EVERYONE EVERYWHERE hates her, you won't see anyone on the Internet who loves her, but no one hates him who won by doing something terrible, never learned his lesson and never faced the consequences. She can't be with a guy she loves but he can be with a girl he loves and she is terrible he's not, he's a hero.

In that movie Emma the main character who's wonderful ended up with a guy who was is always criticising her and yelling at her and I don't see people complaining about that.

Gumball in The Amazing World Of Gumball is a really bad kid. He's selfish and mean for no reason and no one hates him and he doesn't get character development but you know what? I'm glad no one hates him cuz he's just a kid - and so is Marinette. Gumball is actually the most accurate representation of a kid his age. But he doesn't receive criticism for stuff Marinette receives criticism all the time, even when doing something bad wasn't in her intentions. I would rather want them to criticise his father Richard if they have to criticise someone but no way they'll get criticism cuz they are male characters.

Maxim Lavrov from The Kitchen is literally THE WORST main character I've ever seen in my life and I watched so much stuff. He is constantly stalking Victoria, his on-off girlfriend, literally 70% of times they had s*x that was because he literally forced her to do it even when she told him to let her go and that is seen as hot but actually that's r*pe, he stole her documents so she can't travel with other guy when they broke up, he poked holes on her tires to prevent her from leaving with someone else, he stole her medical records in hospital when she was pregnant to see if the baby was his, he spread rumours that she is dating their boss who's married and that she would date anyone who can buy her stuff, he fought his rival out of jealousy, he cheated on her twice with the same woman, he didn't want to do anything around their apartment and she had to everything herself when they got married, he didn't like her for being "too perfect", he dated the girl he cheated with the first time he broke up with Victoria and when karma did it's work and he got cheated on he pursued Victoria immediately as if he would actually date her again if he didn't break up with this girl and when Victoria didn't want to date him he blamed her for their relationship failing and he called her a gold digger, he always grabbed her by her hand forcefully and he was really rough with her when she didn't want to talk even when she was pregnant, he followed her everywhere ALL THE TIME and spied on her. I think only my mom and I can't stand him. Everyone else loves him on the fan page and everyone who's seen the show. They love him. The only consequence he suffered was when she broke up with him both times when he cheated but even in the end of the show they didn't get together but they were in good terms and they worked at the same place and he was allowed to take care of their daughter with her and he got a promotion too. Without even trying.

Shrek literally signed a contract to get rid of his family and I feel like I'm the only one who hated him in that movie, no one complains about that character downgrade cuz like how tf do you disown everyone you love and still get a reward in the end?!

Raymond, Robert and Frank from Everybody Loves Raymond are treating their wives horribly, no one said anything about them. They are all horrible, you don't know which one is worse. In fact, ELR makes abuse Debra, Raymond's wife, has to suffer from his family funny.

Fallon and Adam from Dynasty - Fallon always works on being a better person even when she breaks a vase while Adam kills people and all is forgiven

I'm sure there are a lot more other examples and these are just a few, but female characters ALWAYS suffer the consequences in stuff I watched. I don't remember ever seeing a female character cheating her partner and getting away with it, a male character is always forgiven for cheating after the female character is really hurt, she always forgives him and they are a happy couple. And don't tell me about rom com jerks who get the girl every time for treating her terribly. Also women in rom coms are shallow if they choose a hot tall bf but male characters can choose women who look like literal supermodels and that's totally not shallow. I just hate these stereotypes. "If male character did it they would get cancelled" I literally grew up watching male characters who never changed and those toxic ones ended up as a pop culture icons. It's a rare case when a male character's behaviour is called out.

Bish I literally had to watch people draw Chat Noir punching Ladybug and people saying he should do it in the comments and him getting praised when he yelled at her and that's totally fair from our fandom? That's not gender equality, that's misogyny.

#miraculous ladybug #Ml fandom salt #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #misogyny #leave marinette alone challenge #Double standards #Marinette deserves better #Marinette deserves a better fandom #ml ask #ask and answer #Ml analysis #Marinette analysis

[quetzalpapalotl]

☕ (I don't really know what topic to give you XD I just want to hear your thoughts)

Well, okay, them I'm just gonna ramble about my Proteus and Nominus fics Your carefully laid plans and In Name Only, which may not be a good idea since they're so short spilling everything about them can ruin the point of letting them say what they want to say, but honestly, I think everyone who would read them and would say something about them has already done so.

(well this ended a longer-than-intended analysis)

I should put them in a series or something because I think they work so nice as companion fics and both are made under the same logic. I wanted to give depth to Proteus and Nominus, but not in the sense of giving them redeemable traits or complex motivations. They are bad people, but they're still people, so they have people-like reasonings and feelings, not just evil brain impulses (no disrespect to Sunbow Megs, we stan). And honestly, I'm proud of how they came out.

Originally, Proteus fic was going to be about how fun it would be if he had actually romantic feelings for Sentinel "romance is for the mentally deranged" Prime. That's still there in the fic, but you have to squint really really hard. It felt like Proteus derailed what this was about and I couldn't convey it properly because Proteus would never admit to something like that in his own head, not that it matters how Sentinel feels because either way he belongs to him. It's a pitty Proteus died without discovering Sentinel's true alligances dtasjgdh

Instead this became about how Proteus is so fucking full of himself dfsaghdsa. Well, I think he's interesting (pre-war politics, my beloved), he's not quite an hypocrite like the Functionist Council are because he doesn't really have an alliegance, he changes his public stance on the Decepticons and Functionism and whatever depending on what's useful to him, very realistic politician. But in my experience, these kind of people still feel entitled to what they have for one reason or another. Proteus deserves his place because he can get it.

And you know, canon makes it clear the Council was the one really calling the shots for most of Nominus reign, it wasn't until the trail end of it that the Senate started gaining more power. And given that Proteus is always scheming and pulling strings and Sentinel is explicitly called his puppet Prime, I really do think it was thanks to Proteus that the shift in power happened. But you know, you have to run as hard as you can to stay in the same place. Proteus must always be scheming, must always be sure that he's hanging onto that power.

It's implied in canon that Proteus used the anti-functionism sentiment to gain power over the Council, but allowing that to grow is going to be his downfall and he does not yet realize that. He's not dumb enough to think he doesn't have to keep an eye on it, but he still thinks he can control it. I like the sense of irony on the whole fic.

And with all that in mind, we get to Nominus who is... well, okay, he's lame. He has no speaking lines and everything we know about him in canon points to a lack of agency you wouldn't expect from the Prime. He's caught in the middle of the Council and the Senate's power struggle, he's just a figurehead. The Council has been the real power all this time, either Proteus and co. take over and kill him to put a Prime that better suits their needs, or the Council destroys the Senate and also kills him while they're at it. He has no power, no allies and not even a real matrix.

He has to be aware of his own impotence and it must get to him. Especially when he's succeding a figure as shining as Nova, the hero of the Civil War, he who united Cybertron. How can he compare to that? He's just a phony. But is because of that that I think he's able to accept his death with grace. After so long, he's used to his own powerlesness, unlike Proteus, and at least now he can stop pretending and struggling to hold to an empty title.

But he has been holding onto it, so he must have learned something. He knows how these power games work, so he's able to figure out Proteus.

The fic makes reference to a person Nominus used to be close to. This is as off-shoot of me figuring the backstory for The One Most Worthy, because to be able to add a Lord Protector to IDW1 while the rest stays the same Nominus must have had a LP, he's not really important to TOMW's plot, but he must have existed and his choosing sets the precedent for how Optimus' candidates are selected, since Nova just made the title to placate Galvatron and Sentinel didn't have one because he's gay an homophobic.

So I gave Nominus a Lord Protector with whom he shared a vision (bigoted beliefs) and genuine affection. And it would tie nicely if the reason Nominus had so little power at the end was because was little he had, he lost while he was busy mourning his conjux while the schemers kept scheming, and now without his main ally, there's nothing for him.

Of course, Your Name Only is meant to be canon compliant, so Nominus didn't have a Lord Protector, but I liked the idea of Nominus still having a similar figure in his life. Again this is about the bad people looking like people. And fiction sometimes makes it seem like bad people can't genuinely love other people or is used as a tool to make them seems redeemable or have them do something heroic. But no, bad people still have loved ones, bad people still mourn.

I honestly really like how Nominus came across, he's actually pretty relatable to me and I love that, I love that people in the comments also found him relatable.

So there's a beautiful symmetry to these two fics. Proteus who is highly active losing it because he struggles to hold to his power, while Nominus who is quite passive accepts his end with dignity. Proteus disliking Nominus came as natural result of how I write him, someone who takes pride in all his hard work has no respect for Nominus who from his perspective, does nothing and doesn't deserve his title.

Anyway, I'm really happy with these fics, if nothing else because they do feel like something no one else but me would have done.

#thank you van #idw1 #proteus #nominus prime #quetzal rambles tf

[tetsuwhore]

𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 | 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐮

Description: you’re so soft, so pliant against him, innocently fluttering your eyelashes as you look up at him. it makes Oikawa want to ruin you. so, he does.

Warning: explicit smut - corruption kink, overstimulation, one mention of videotaping, soft dom!Oikawa, shy!Reader

Length: 4.1k words

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Oikawa had only wanted to kiss you goodbye.

That’s all he had meant to do - end the night a little sweet before leaving your doorway for the drive back to his apartment. Maybe even whisper something in your ear about how he couldn’t wait to see how pretty you looked in your outfit for the next date night, just so he had one last chance to see your face grow pink at his cheekiness.

But he doesn’t even reach that far, because before he can pull away, you’re grasping on to the thick of his shoulders, bringing his lips back against your soft ones. You’re kissing him hard, with far more vigour than he was expecting. It’s uncharacteristic of you. He can’t bring himself to pull away. 

He wants to lose himself - to the saccharine scent of your perfume, to the magnetic pull of your arms as they loop around his neck, to the feeling of your soft tits pressing up against the hardness of his chest. Suddenly, Oikawa’s intoxicated, and it has nothing to do with the wine from earlier tonight. No, it’s you; you’re everywhere, all around him. And he’s so tempted to simply give in to the inebriation. 

But he shouldn’t. It was too early, wasn’t it? No, he should wait until you’re ready. That would be the right thing to do. All he had to do was gently pull away from you and-

“Oikawa-kun… I need you to, um, to touch me? Please?”

Fuck. You’re practically begging him to fuck you. And he wants to. Oikawa wants to. 

Maybe he should. He considers the thought - it would be cruel of him not to, wouldn’t it? To deny you, even when he can feel the needy undulation of your front against his crotch, and your hardened nipples poking through the thin fabric of your blouse. 

And when you begin moaning into his mouth, whining about how you wanted him - no, needed him - to make you feel good, Oikawa knows that he physically can’t push you away. 

So he makes haste of fishing your keys out of your pocket, unlocking the door, and swiftly bringing you inside before he lost all his senses and fucked you right there at the doorway of your apartment. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

It’s amusing, really. 

How the moment Oikawa has you laying on the bed, with him hovering on top of you, you lose all remnants of that forwardness. Every trace of the boldness from earlier melts away, and left behind, is his shy, timid girlfriend. 

He’s stripped your pants away, leaving your bottom half naked, save for your panties. It’s a flimsy thing, with fabric so thin that he can practically feel the dampness soaking through to his pants. And it does absolutely nothing to protect you from the rutting of his hardening bulge against your clothed clit.

It’s the slightest motion, just a simple brush every so often. And yet, you’re already a shaky mess under him, blushing and quivering at every movement. You’re unable to even look at him, tilting your head to the side, eyes pulled tightly shut.

“You need to be touched here,” Oikawa coos, his fingers lightly ghosting along the length of your clothed slit, “don’t you, baby?” He chuckles at the sight of your frantic nodding, moving off of you to support himself on one elbow. Thumbing your panties, he looks to you for permission, “How about we get this out of the way, hmm?”

Upon receiving your shy nod, he loops deft fingers into the waistband, slowing prying the fabric away from your dripping cunt. Oikawa has to contain himself - take a deep breath in so he doesn’t cum in his pants - as his eyes follow the clear string of slickness left behind as he slides your panties along your quivering thighs, all the way down to your ankles, before placing it aside. 

Your eyes are still screwed shut, likely from the embarrassment of being so exposed in front of him. But when a second passes, then one more, and then another still, your eyes flutter open. You turn to him, confusion evident in your expression as you watch him remain where he is - idly resting by your side on one arm. 

“Touch yourself for me.” 

Your eyes are the size of saucers now, gaping up at him as you stutter over your words.

“I- I can’t- That’s too…”

“Go on, baby,” Oikawa coaxes gently, “For me.”

He follows your shaky hand as it ghosts along your abdomen, before finally reaching the place between your legs. He’s patient, waiting silently as he watches your eyes fall shut again, listening for the soft whimpers that escape your lips as your fumbling fingers brush against your quivering inner folds. 

You have your bottom lip pulled tight between your teeth - a habit of nervousness, he’s learnt. Nervous about what? Nervous about… him? The thought of it makes Oikawa grin to himself. Even with your eyes closed, he knows you’re aware. You’re painfully aware of how he’s watching you, silently scrutinizing your slightest movements, your every reaction.

It’s a tinge sadistic, he knows; he really should be doing more to make you feel more at ease. And yet, the sight of you so self-conscious and awkward under his sharp gaze, so desperate to make yourself as small as you can… 

It just makes him even harder.

“Oikawa-kun… I can’t”

He’s quick to card his fingers through your hair, softly rubbing them against your scalp in soothing motions. Planting a light kiss to your forehead, Oikawa whispers reassuring praises in your ear, hoping it would be enough to coax you into continuing the ministrations of your fingers.

“No, I really c-can’t…” your voice is so small that he barely catches what you say, “I don’t- I don’t know how…” 

Huh. How interesting. 

Oikawa raises a brow in curiosity, “You’ve never touched yourself before?” Shaking your head, “Just on-once,” you quietly confess, “but I didn’t, um… y’know…” 

Very interesting, indeed. 

“Tell me about it,” he presses gently, “What did you think about, hmm?”

“It was that day after you, um, you t-took me to… to watch you practice,” your voice is laced with embarrassment now, uncontrollably shaky, “I couldn’t s-stop thinking about you...” Gulping, you keep going, “So, uh, after you dr-dropped me home, I- I-” 

Oikawa hums, hoping the feigned nonchalance of it was believable enough to hide how crazy your words were driving him. 

“I tried to, um, you know, t-touch… d-down there... but all I could t-think, oh-” your breath hitches in surprise as you glance down to find his other hand drawing slow circles on the skin of your thigh. Hovering so, very dangerously close to the heat of your cunt. And yet, he keeps his eyes on your face, waiting for you to continue.

“I kept thinking about… about y-your fingers… how they’re so much longer and, ah- and th-thicker than mine,” his eyes are growing wider, darker at every utterance slipping from your lips. Did you have any idea what you were doing to his ego?

“And how mine got too… um, too t-tired to continue, but yours,” you’re struggling so hard now, voice so shaky that you’re barely coherent, “yours would pr-probably m-make… make me… oh-”

But now those very fingers are lightly tracing the outside of your pussy lips, and the rest of it comes out so garbled that Oikawa isn’t even sure it can be considered speech. It’s okay, he can forgive you. Because fuck, this was really too much, and he would be a hypocrite to chide you for it.

Oikawa would be a hypocrite to judge you when his own thoughts were completely scrambled, swarming all over the place as he zoned in on the mental picture of you. 

Of his cute girlfriend, lying alone in her bed that night, fingers sunken deep into her dripping cunt as she fantasized about him. Of his little sweetheart, realizing in frustration that her tiny little fingers weren’t enough to make her cum, that they could never be enough, because she needed him to do it for her. Of his-

“Oikawa-kun, please!” your shrill pleading interrupts his thoughts, “I-I need… I need…” 

Him. You need him. 

And oh, he wanted to give you what you needed. Oikawa wanted to fuck you up, he wanted to ruin you, he wanted to use his fingers, his tongue, his thigh, his cock, all of it, until you were completely and utterly tainted by him. 

Still, he was selfish. He couldn’t just give you everything that easily, right? He was ready to spoil you (and he did mean in both ways), but he needed something from you first.

“Okay, cutie, okay,” Oikawa has to hide the laugh bubbling in his throat when he hears your breath of relief, “But first, I think you need to address me properly.”

“Huh? Oikawa-kun, wha-”

He tuts disapprovingly at that, trailing his fingers away from your clit, now throbbing from being neglected for so long. He chuckles when you try to grip on to his arm, weakly attempting to bring him to where you needed him most. Except, he was Oikawa Tooru - professionally trained athlete. It wouldn’t work. 

You’re still shaking, skin still flushed that gorgeous shade of crimson. But there’s a desperation in you now, a hunger for more, and he sees it perfectly in your frenzied movements as you grind your hips up in a feeble attempt to reach his straying fingers. 

He hears it loud and clear in your shrill whines as you beg, “Oikawa… I’ll do a-anything, just- just touch me!”

This time, Oikawa does laugh. It’s low, dark, as he takes in your words. Were you even aware of what you were saying, of the magnitude of that word - ‘anything’? But as his gaze returns to your face, as he watches how you peer up at him through tear-glazed eyes, eyelashes fluttering ever so innocently, he realizes. 

No. You don’t have a fucking clue what you’re offering him, the power you’re placing in his hands. It’s dangerous. Because again, Oikawa - ever the opportunist - is selfish. And when you offer him an inch, he’ll always go after the mile.

“My little cutie is willing to do anything? Just so I make her cum? Hmm, how about...” he hums against your neck, grinning at how you shudder at the feel of his hot breath on your skin, “...you call me by my name then?”

You look up at him in confusion, “W-What? Oik-”

“My actual name.”

It’s such a simple thing really, so easy to overlook. Getting you to drop the formalities. One by one - first with the lack of honorifics, and now, using his first name. To anyone else, it may have seemed so trivial. But this was you. His shy little girlfriend - so respectful, so polite, always ready with your pleases and thank yous.

“Please make me cum… T-Tooru…” 

And so, it was more than enough for him. 

Suddenly, he’s on top of you again, hot mouth swallowing your surprised whimpers as he kisses you hard, rough, hungry. Oikawa’s ruthless as his teeth tug down on your bottom lip, giving way for his tongue to slither in and taste the sweet inside of your mouth. It swipes against the edges of your teeth, licks up into the roof of your mouth, before finally tangling with yours. 

And fuck, you’re moaning, you’re moaning into the kiss, because now his bulge is right against your naked cunt, rubbing up your swollen clit.

You flinch when the sound of ripping fabric echoes through the room. 

His large hands pull the shredded remnants of your blouse away, allowing him a second to drink in your trembling form, now free of the oppressive cloth hiding you away from him. Oikawa trails his eyes down your heaving chest, focuses on the slight jiggle of your naked breasts as you attempt to control your staggering breaths. 

You remind him of a porcelain doll - pretty, delicate, probably been treated like fragile glassware all your life.  And your skin… your skin is smooth as china; it’s completely clear, with not a single blemish in sight. 

Yet, all Oikawa can think about is tarnishing it, bruising it, treating it like his own personal canvas and splotching it with angry blooms of red, blue, and purple. 

So, he does. His mouth ravages the expanse of your skin, sucking and kissing and licking and biting, exploring every crevice. But wait- you’re pushing him away, fingers wrangling with the hem of his shirt. Pulling apart, Oikawa makes haste of yanking his shirt off, hissing when he finally, finally feels your dainty hands grasping on to his naked skin.

Then he’s back to abusing your skin, delving into the soft cups of your breasts, into the crook of your neck. And he can hear all kinds of sounds escaping your lips - from pleasure, desperation, maybe even… pain? 

He can’t tell; and he would’ve been more concerned, but right now, he simply doesn’t care, because you’re moaning for ‘more Tooru!’, you’re gripping his shoulders closer to you and you’re arching your back up so he can latch his mouth onto one of your nipples.

Your thighs are already quivering as he glides down to hover over them, slowly trailing kisses along the skin of your midriff before finally settling in between your legs. You watch, breath bated, eyes wide in trepidation as Oikawa slowly hooks one calve over his broad shoulder. The other thigh, however, he presses flat down on the mattress. 

“Don’t move this one.”

You’re blushing fiery red, clearly mortified at having your cunt spread open on display in front of him. And yet, you see how much his eyes have hardened, now a murky black as they lock on you. There isn’t any option available other than to nod. 

“Good girl.”

And as Oikawa peers down at your glistening folds - his face so close that he’s practically inhaling the smell of sex, of sin - he wishes he had the patience to draw it out, to explore every part of you properly. But your desperation is practically palpable, with the frenzied undulation of your hips, and the way you’re chewing on your bottom lip in anticipation. 

He decides to be generous. 

With one clear, fluid stroke, he’s dragging his tongue up the length of your slit, and he’s dragging the most wanton moan out of your lips. He can’t hold back his own sounds either, because fuck, you’re delicious. You’re saccharine sweet, and all Oikawa can think about is how he wants more, more, more.

So he takes it. Straightening his tongue out, he moves it past your slit, dips it into the warm cavern of your cunt and laps up all the slickness he can reach. His nose is nudged up against your clit, brushing against it as his slick tongue continues to explore the inside of your slopping pussy. 

Oikawa tilts his head to the side slightly, stealing a glance at the thigh that isn’t in his grasp. It’s trembling, hovering ever-so-slightly off the mattress. And yet, he can see how painfully tight the muscle is strained as it remains in its place, just like he asked (or rather, ordered). Even with his mouth buried deep in your folds, he feels his lips draw into a smile. You’re such a good girl for him; so obedient. 

Deciding that he had indulged enough, Oikawa withdraws his tongue from inside you and begins furiously lapping it up, all the way from your slit to your throbbing clit. He keeps it up, repeating it again and- wait, suddenly, he realizes that you’ve fallen quiet, and he looks up, and... are you- are you wincing? Concerned, he pulls away slightly. 

“Something wrong, baby? Talk to me.”

His warm hand caresses up and down your thigh, reassuring you as you attempt to muster up the right words, “I- I like it. But, um, c-could you… could you, maybe go… softer?”

Oikawa chuckles to himself, as he settles back in. Of course. How could he allow himself to get so carried away? His little cutie was delicate, so utterly sensitive to his every touch. He needed to keep in mind that he couldn’t just ravage you at every stop.

(Even if the thought was a little more than enticing). 

And ah, there it is. That’s the sound he was looking for. Oikawa knows he’s got it right when you’re squirming in his hold, sharp whimpers and mewls bubbling out of your lips over, and over, and over again. So he swipes his tongue the same way you seem to enjoy so much.

Over, and over, and over again.

You’ve shed away all inhibitions now, shamelessly grinding your cunt against his face, smearing your slick all over his chin and cheeks. His peripherals roam up your quivering body, settling on your face. Your neck is jerked forward slightly, granting him the perfect view of your expression. You have your eyes screwed shut, mouth pulled slack, cheeks reddened and slightly wet with your spit running down the sides.

Fuck. You’re gorgeous like this. Oikawa wants to brand the image into his memory, keep it safe so it can resurface every time he’s alone and got his hand wrapped around his dick as he thinks about you. Or maybe... maybe, you’d even let him get a camera to record it?

Well, he’ll have to remember to ask about it, but later. Because suddenly, your tiny fingers are tangling themselves in his chocolate locks, your lips sobbing a string of “Tooru! Tooru! Tooru!” You cum violently, messily as your cunt practically drools on to his tongue. Oikawa eats you through it, letting you ride out the waves of your pleasure on his flattened tongue. 

And then, he keeps going.

He doesn’t pull away even as you cry out at the oversensitivity, your knee knocking into his temple in a frenzied restlessness. Oikawa simply grips your hips down into the mattress and keeps his tongue buried in the folds of your hot cunt, tangling his tongue against the little nub. He only settles back once you’ve cum again, sending a fresh new pool of slickness dripping down his chin. 

You don’t expect it when he surges up to place his body on top of yours, his lips already finding yours in a hungry kiss. It’s messy, with your release smearing all over your cheeks and chin from his face. Oikawa pulls away once he’s satisfied, giving you the chance to finally, finally catch a short breath. He grins at the fresh slick now coating your lower face. 

Parting your lips with his thumb, he smears it across your tongue, grinning as he asks, “Tastes good, don’t you think?”

He watches as you tilt your face to the side, casting your eyes away from his piercing gaze. You respond with a shy nod. 

“So, cutie,” Oikawa begins, a smug smirk on his face, “You must be pretty tired, I don’t think you can handle my cock right away. Maybe we should leave it at this, hmm?” 

And fuck, it’s all worth it when he sees the desperation, the pure need on your face when you rush to grip on to his forearm, begging him to keep going, that you could take whatever he had to give you, that you needed something to fill you up.

Sure enough, when he glances down, he sees how your cunt pulsates, clenching around nothing. Fuck, he wasn’t going to be able to hold back. 

“Since you seem so insistent,” he feigns a cocky tone, as if he isn’t the one with the raging boner, “You want me to fuck you then? Stretch you out with my cock?”

You remain silent, choosing to nod again. Oh, that wouldn’t do. “No, no,” Oikawa shakes his head in disapproval, “Use your words, baby.”

“Want you to-” your lower lip trembles as you speak, the embarrassment causing hot tears to gather at the corners of your closed eyes, “want you to- to f-fuck me… Tooru...” 

Hearing such filth escape your lips is the last straw. His patience is now replaced by a ferocious need, a craving, a hunger. 

From that point, the rest feels like a fever dream. Oikawa remembers sheathing himself in you, gritting his teeth and hissing as your tight cunt somehow manages to resist the entry of his cock while simultaneously sucking him in deeper. He can feel the sharp sting of your nails as they scramble for purchase on the sweat sheened surface of his broad back. 

He definitely remembers the way you tighten up as you cum, your body succumbing to his strong thrusts and harsh rutting against your clit. The silky walls of your cunt clamp up around his dick, making him have to work harder and harder to move every inch. 

Oikawa recalls you whimpering into his ear, sobbing about how it was too much, how you couldn’t handle more, how you were far too sensitive. And yet, he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, because it’s you who is pulling his hips deeper into you with your legs, and it’s you who has got your arms wrapped around his shoulders in a deadlock. 

What Oikawa can picture most vividly, however, is you cupping his flushed cheeks, pressing your lips against his in a sweet kiss. The tenderness of your touch, of your warm mouth, of you, so soft and pliant under him - it’s all such a stark contrast to the harshness of his thrusts. 

Then, your gentle voice is at his ear again, but this time you’re telling him you love him, you love him, you love him, you-

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*⋆.*:･ﾟ: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

The room is dense with the sound of your staggering breaths intermingling with his. 

For a moment, Oikawa allows himself to black the world out, closing his eyes and resting his head against your heaving breasts. He can faintly feel a soft pressure against his temple - he realizes that it’s your lips, planting one, two, three kisses along his skin. 

Lifting his head up, Oikawa allows his eyes to fall open, so they can face yours. 

And then, you’re both breaking out into giggles. 

“Fuck, you deserve an Oscar for that.”

“God, yeah, I definitely do,” you laugh, “Hell, I almost believed myself during some of it.”

“It was incredible, baby. Really,” Oikawa’s tone grows uncharacteristically hesitant as he continues, “But… you enjoyed it too, right? Wasn’t uncomfortable or anything?”

“Relax, Tooru. No, I wasn’t uncomfortable,” you shake your head, your hands moving to gently cup his face. “I knew I could trust you. Besides, t’was fun playing pillow princess for a bit. But, uh...” you stretch out your leg, wincing at the ache, “my thigh is sore as a bitch right now.” 

He chuckles at that, a long arm already extending down your leg to massage the cramps away. 

“Really though, who would’ve guessed - world famous athlete Oikawa Tooru is really a freak who fantasizes about ruining his-” you snicker as you make a mock attempt at imitating his silky tone, “his ‘innocent little cutie’ of a girlfriend.” 

“Hey! It’s not that weird,” Oikawa whines defensively. “But, fuck, you really pulled some of that stuff straight out of my fantasies. Like, that whole thing about not being able to touch yourself properly because you needed me to get you off? It’s so-” 

“I would like to interject and remind you that you cannot possibly expect me to believe that you’d know how to get me off better than I would. No fucking way a dude knows my body better than I do. That’s some weird porn shit right there.”

“Shhh, it’s a nice fantasy, though - my girl fucking herself silly on her fingers, only to get frustrated when she can’t cum because it doesn’t feel right and she needs me to do it for her. Don’t spoil it, let a man dream.”

You roll your eyes at him, flicking his forehead with your finger, but nonetheless, pull his head back against your chest. Oikawa settles against you with a satisfied yawn, strong arms wrapped tight around your middle. 

“I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Tooru...”

Oh no.

He can feel the incessant tapping of your fingers against his fingers. Looking up, he groans at the sight of the mischievous grin on your face. 

“I know you want to,” he sighs, “Just say it.”

“...even if you are a freak.”

#oikawa x reader #oikawa smut #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!

[starfellwish]

ML Theory: Episode 22, Finale, Ladynoir, and Everything Else

This will have rocketear and finale synopsis spoilers - be warned.

I genuinely do think that the two part finale of season 4, "The Last Attack of Shadowmoth" (which is,,, a title to say the least; more on that in a bit) is gonna be so tense for a variety of reasons.

Rocketear Analysis

We have a couple of gamechanger episodes coming up. Rocketear definitely was a gamechanger as Adrien was able to realize that Alya and Nino are aware of each other's identities with Ladybug giving them permission. And he's angry about it. He knows that Ladybug lied to him about the rules, and he also knows that her being the guardian is definitely something that has led to their relationship being affected (flashbacks to a previous s4 ep when he's like it's cool if she's the guardian, as long as their partnership isn't affected - well that was some foreshadowing, wasn't it?). Honestly, seeing that as Marinette makes all the rules now as guardian, her decisions should be able to include her knowing Chat's identity. But. Chat Blanc exists, and I think that her not telling him about it and hiding it from him is a parallel to how she wanted Alya to hide the truth from Nino (obviously this failed too - Alya went behind her back to tell Nino the truth). She knows that he'd understand if she told him and its better to tell him that he may destroy everything if they knew each other's identities than left him feeling isolated and alone and at risk for literally getting akumatized. By isolating him, she's quite literally putting the world at risk for Chat Blanc 2.0, rather than her telling him something heartbreaking and being there for him so he doesn't get hurt by Shadow Moth's intentions. I think that she'll come to realize this in the finale and learn from her mistakes.

I think that in this screenshot, we got a snippet of foreshadowing of what's to come:

I saw some people theorize that this is foreshadowing that Adrien's real identity is between Ladynoir, and while this could be general foreshadowing for the entirety of the show (Marinette is in love with Adrien, and that's why she can't love Chat Noir), I do think that interpretation could be misplaced here due to the tone of the episode. Instead, I believe that this is foreshadowing that Chat may reveal himself to Ladybug. After all, she literally knows the identity of literally every other person who has a miraculous, and is the guardian.

*Side note: It also reminds me a lot of Felix. Could be a reference to that? Not sure what my thoughts on that being, but it's just somehting that struck me.

Episode 22

In my mind, it would make most sense for Adrien to reveal himself in episode 22. We've been told by the people who make the show that since episode 22 is the 100th episode of the show overall, it will be incredibly serious. This episode may run the highest risk of Adrien being akumatized into Chat Blanc again, as tensions are definitely running high. However, another akumatization event could happen, and Chat could be left out again, making him angry. I think that him getting akumatized is more likely, however. This is because of his appearance in Sentibubbler - I think that's foreshadowing. After everything is taken care of, Chat Noir and Ladybug will get into an argument. Chat will tell Ladybug that he knows about Alya and Nino, and that he thinks she's a hypocrite. He was loyal to her, and now he's having his doubts about their partnership, because he doesn't even think its a partnership anymore. Ladybug is the guardian and has more secrets that she is keeping from him. She talks about Chat Blanc and tells him that him finding out her identity leads to basically the end of the world. Adrien is surprised that he was akumatized before. He then gets mad at her for literally hiding this from him when they could've taken precautions beforehand, and then could possibly assert that he doesn't know what else she's hiding from him. He also, at the same time, doesn't feel like he should be Chat Noir anymore if he poses that much of a risk to the world. He detransforms in front of her and gives her the miraculous. He tells her he won't be a problem again, and leaves.

Finale

Ladybug, of course, realizes her mistake and tries to get him back. However, over the course of 23 and 24, she is caught up with Alya and Nino's problems with them not hiding their secrets. Adrien is already scheduled to leave Paris for a couple of weeks with Lila, and Ladybug trying to persuade him to stay is basically one of the main conflicts of the final episode. Pair this with "ShadowMoth's Last Attack" and you've got a season finale. I think the name of the season finale, is, as always, a misdirect. There's no way Gabriel is getting all his miraculous taken away until season 5, as that's when the full reveal happens, so it seems like he'll return to just regular old Hawkie. I don't think it would make sense for him to be disarmed now and for next season's finale to have the full reveal. Here's the synopsis below so we can dissect it.

Shadowmoth's Last Attack

Having understood that if Ladybug always triumphs, it's thanks to her prudence, Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks. When Marinette learns that Adrien must leave Paris for several weeks with Lila, new muse of the Agreste brand, she is ready to do she is ready to do anything to stop him. How far will she go? Even to the fatal risk of betraying her secret identity for love? And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Okay, so let's dissect this. What I said before adds up to Adrien leaving with Lila. It would also explain why Marinette would potentially reveal herself to Adrien, if only to get him to stay. Because she knows that he's Chat, and maybe her being Marinette will somehow influence his decision. Or, it may show him that she's finally willing to trust him with everything.

It could also allude back to the song in the movie. Since the Miraculous movie was originally intended to act as a finale to Season 5, we can take things from early development and see if they end up fitting in the narrative. In this situation I'm going to quote "Ce mur qui nous separe" (English translation: The Wall Between Us), the French song that was made for the movie when it was intended to be the Season 5 finale.

It’s strong when I see him I want to scream on the rooftops our love that reaches out to us But I know that I can’t It’s not the right moment We have to be patient be patient

Here's the French translation in case the translation Genius gave me was wrong:

C’est fort quand je le vois Je veux crier sur tous les toits Notre amour qui nous tend les bras Mais je sais que je ne dois pas Ce n’est pas le moment Il faut être patients Être patients

This part of the song is from Marinette's perspective, and the fact that she's saying that she has to wait for the right moment to actually be in love with him probably means that she knows Adrien's identity. Because why would she "know" that she can't love him? Why is it not the right moment? Why do they have to be patient? Her being Ladybug and being unable to be in a relationship may explain why it's not the right moment, but the fact that she says "our" love points me in another direction. She knows she loves Adrien, and she knows that Chat, and therefore, Adrien, loves her. But she can't tell him her identity yet. However, her knowing his identity would make sense. I remember that before season 4 started airing, a lot of the fandom wondered if Chat was going to have to reveal his identity to her because she's the guardian. After all, that would make sense. Them making it a problem over the course of the season would mean that it would have to be handled in some way. I think that her finding out Chat's identity is probably the most logical course of action, as she can't be a good guardian until she has all the information at her disposal.

There are two specific lines which I find interesting in the finale synopsis. The part where it says, "Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks," is particularly interesting. This could mean a couple of things. Shadow Moth could be akumatizing Felix - after all, he stopped at nothing to try and replace Adrien in order to ruin his relationship with his friends. He kissed Ladybug when she told him no. He was snooping in Adrien's things. Clearly, there was nothing he wasn't willing to do in order to get the ring back. (This whole thing is never explained either after Felix - why is the ring so important?) Maybe that will make a comeback? Or, the "his" in the synopsis where it specifies that the villain has no limits, may be referring to Shadowmoth. In that situation, it could be Lila who is again akumatized. She has clearly no limits, as she's working for Shadow Moth willingly, and likely knows his identity. This is one likely scenario. Or Shadowmoth will akumatize Adrien. He may feel detached, and Gabriel will interpret it as being sad that he's being taken away from all of his friends. Adrien is known for being quite stubborn, and having Ladybug fight Adrien's akumatized state would be season finale material. However, if he is akumatized in the finale as something else, then the Chat Blanc akumatization in episode 22 is unlikely (they wouldn't do something like that twice in a row). Of course, his akumatized state would be different than Chat Blanc because people can be akumatized into multiple different villains and Hawkie doesn't know that Adrien=Chat Noir.

The second line that I find particularly interesting is this one:

And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?

Now, why would Adrien stand up to his father? Maybe with literally everyone betraying him, he'll find no reason to stay. He needs a constant in his life, and telling his father that he needs him to be here for him may be a step that he makes. After all, Ladybug and him are having their biggest fight, his best friend Nino told him that he finds his hero persona absolutely abhorrent, and he doesn't feel like he has a place on the superhero team. He needs someone, and he's hoping that Gabriel can be that person.

That could be one scenario, or Adrien may find out about Hawkie's basement. Now, this, could raise a lot of questions for him. While I believe that Adrien would have the normal tendency to be like "father, what the hell." He may honestly believe that this is all he has left, and therefore, will assist his father. This takes me back to the season 2 opening card.

Where is Chat Noir? With the villains.

Maybe Adrien will have his well deserved Dark!Chat Noir arc. Or maybe, he'll be a spy for the Quantic team. Ladybug and him will make up, and he'll tell her that he can spy on Hawkie for the team, and that's how they move into season 5 - with Adrien as a double agent. He will help his father in everything that he does, and therefore, get access to more information that he can share with the team. He can help establish a meeting for Hawk Moth to get caught, with evidence, by planting cameras, calling police, etc.

Honestly, I'm hoping for the latter subplot, as I don't want Chat Noir to go evil for everyone's sakes. I do think that the latter would also give him a cementable role that would logistically make sense and help establish him as an strong character, and more importantly, a valuable member of the team and Ladybug's true partner.

Or, they could go down the more simpler route, and choose Adrien to find out, be shocked, and then yell at his father for being who he is. Gabriel just assumes because Adrien is only just Adrien, he doesn't have to worry about him. He will threaten Adrien, and Adrien will stay silent in front of him, but tell the team on the side. Of course, this doesn't really mean double agent Adrien, but it still implies spy Adrien. It also still manages to make his character more relevant.

Regardless, there's a lot of different ways that line could go, and I'm excited to see where it moves on from there.

Implications on the Love Square

The love square seems entirely messed up this season. There is almost nothing going on in relation to it, especially in regards to Ladynoir, Ladrien, and Marichat. Adrienette has honestly the most action right now, especially with the reverse umbrella scene, them helping out Juleka together, etc. This leads me to think that while we'll get a lot of Ladynoir in the finale as they repair their relationship, Adrienette may be the strongest ship of the four when moving into season 5. Let me explain why.

Over the course of this entire season, Adrien has been getting closer to Marinette, and is honestly more warm with her than he has been with Ladybug. This can explain what everyone has been thinking - a reverse love square. Even if Ladybug and him make up, Chat may honestly want to go and see other people. This includes Mari. What Nino said about Ladybug finding him annoying may actually really affect him and his feelings and make him realize that he can find love elsewhere. It's also the fact that it was enunciated twice during Rocketear that Alya couldn't fall in love with someone that she didn't really know. That could lead Adrien to wonder if he really knows Ladybug, which will definitely complicate his feelings. The Kagami thing was never going to work out, so he just needs to find someone else who cares for him. He knows Marinette; he has called her similar to Ladybug - he may rebound from Ladybug to Marinette. Ladybug may realize that she messed up, and she has already shown that she is becoming more indifferent to dating Adrien, due to what happened with Luka. When she and Chat Noir fix their relationship, she may see him as the only person she doesn't have to lie to, and therefore thinks about pursuing a relationship with him. Therefore, a reverse love square would make the most sense in this situation.

If a ship were to start actually dating in season 5 - it may honestly depend on how the finale is. The two most likely ships imo are either Ladynoir or Adrienette. If Ladynoir makes up during the finale, then the barriers to them dating aren't really present, unless the Alya thing actually makes it complicated for them. Adrienette may get together, but Marinette is wary of dating because she's Ladybug. However, we all know she's weak in the knees for Adrien and will definitely say yes if he asked her out.

Therefore, I feel like this season is leaning more towards plot and character development, and while it may set some things up for season 5, it is important to pay attention at the little shifts in the square, because they are happening right in front of us.

Alya and Marinette

I wanted to be able to talk about this at some point in this theory, but since everything else is more Adrien centric, I added it here at the end. Okay, so we know that Alya is lying to Marinette about telling Nino things. We also know that Alya has bended the rules for Nino multiple times, both before and during Rocketear. This could go one of two ways: Alya telling Nino teaches Marinette that she needs to be able to trust Chat, and therefore helps her realize that she doesn't need to be so secretive and lie all the time. It could also lead to a plot where Alya basically messed up largely by telling Nino, and everything goes downhill from there. Ladybug shows Chat that they can't know each other's identities because of what happened with them. We also Nino is a bit of a blabbermouth - love his character, but he is. He told Adrien not only his identity, but also Alya's. He also told him that they know the other's identity. This is bad, and Adrien knowing definitely affects the plot later on. If Adrien ends up revealing himself to Ladybug, it is likely that she'll find out about Nino saying that, and having to revoke their kwamis. This could lead to a strained relationship with Alya. In fact, it is likely that at this point, Marinette will already have a strained relationship with Alya, as it could be revealed that Alya told Nino about Rena Furtive. This could lead to Ladybug being defensive and worried that she made mistakes, and literally just closing the Miraculous box because of it. Maybe Alya will go rogue? After all, it was mentioned in Rocketear (and I appreciate that they talked about this) how Alya was a reporter and that by extension means that her personality is one of a truthteller. Alya getting angry at Mari could definitely lead to a situation where she threatens to tell he everyone. I don't think Alya would or could do that, but anger leads to akumatization, and an akumatized Alya would not be good for anyone as her judgement would be impaired. Regardless, Rena Furtive may be a short time hero, and Mari and Alya may end the season in a fight. I don't see that being resolved in the finale, as no fight like that is mentioned in those episodes. There is also simply too much going on in the finale for it to make sense. It may be resolved later on, just like how other problems in season 3 started being solved in the beginning of season 4. Or, it could be fought out and resolved in episodes 23 and 24.

Therefore, I think that the Nino carelessly revealing his identity and Alya carelessly disregarding Ladybug's orders may lead to a plotpoint at some point where Alya and Ladybug fight. While I do think that it would be nice if Alya proved Ladybug wrong and showed that they were stronger for working together, I do not think it's likely. The show was deliberate in showing that Alya had a weakness for Nino, and has shown before that it has led to many situations where there were risks for everyone involved. Even Hawkmoth said that love and secrets don't go well together (is he talking from experience?), and I feel like that was so deliberate, but it could also be alluding to Chat and Ladybug. (Side note: it was so weird for Hawk Moth to say that, as he had no idea of the situation; regardless I do think this it's heavy foreshadowing.) Therefore, I do not think the situation that Alya has placed herself in is a situation which will have a peaceful ending.

Final Notes:

I personally cannot wait for the "Gabriel Agreste" episode. I think that the fact that we did not get it yet means that it has serious story implications. Personally, I believe it's going to explain allllll the backstory we need for the whole Bourgeois/Tsurugi/Agreste history and tell us why Emilie is the way she is right now. Of course, maybe it won't do everything, but the fact that it is named after Gabriel makes me wonder if it'll be his origins episode of sorts.

EDIT AFTER MEGA LEECH: IF GABRIEL AGRESTE REVEALS ADRIEN TO BE A SENTIMONSTER I WILL BE SO SO EXCITED BC ANGST BUT ALSO LIKE??? WHAT ABOUT THE PLOT? WHAT ABOUT THE NINE YEAR OLDS?

Chat snapping is honestly something that I cannot wait for. All of his anger has been building up over the entire season thus far, and the implications of his feelings are definitely serious for the show's plot.

I wonder if Mayura will be making a comeback at some point. While this is less relevant, Nathalie's health seems to be making her bedridden for a long time. Maybe she'll return to a similar state to Emilie? I saw theories that stated that if Hawkie gets his wish, Nathalie's life may be sacrificed for Emilie's, and idk, I think it's not likely that it'll happen, but it would be cool if it did. The ultimate payback for his actions being the loss of Nathalie.

Look at the end card of Rocketear:

He's looking at the moon, which was shown in New York to be something he does when he's sad. Also possible reference to him destroying the moon in Chat Blanc.

Kitty do be on a roof all alone without his lady :(

#nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #ladynoir #miraculous ladybug #the reveal #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #rena rouge #rena furtive #carapace #rocketear #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #ml spoilers #alynino #alynette #shadowmoth #adrinino #sentibubbler #nathalie sanco #mayura #ml season 4 #mlm #miraculous ladybug theory #ml theory #chat blanc #miraculous reveal #poor adrien :( #he really do be getting the short end of the stick here

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Miscommunication | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 1.5k

✦ request — Can you do one with Damian where his curvy girlfriend works a job (that he reminds her she doesn't have to) and this one customer keeps harassing her and won't leave her alone and Damian finds out and he is...not pleased? & Could you maybe write something where reader and Damian have a fight and he thinks she’s going to leave him? like super angsty and fluffy at the end?

✦ warnings — angst, miscommunication, arguing, mentions of harassment, fluff.

════════════════════════

Damian knew something was wrong the moment he saw you were watching your favorite animated movie upon arriving.

He somewhat learned to not assume what was going on. Sure, he was assertive and if he spent more than ten seconds thinking about it, he could easily find out what was going on, but you were his girlfriend, not a criminal. So asking was best.

“How was your day, beloved?”

“Fine.”

He stared at you, as though expecting you to say something else. When you didn’t, he sat down next to you.

You stood up before Damian could place his hand on your shoulder.

He sighed, tired and exasperated. “What did I do now?”

You shook your head. “Forget about it.” You walked past the couch and toward your shared bedroom, feeling your anger rising again.

“Hey,” he called after you, following your steps.

You ignored him, knowing you would say things you didn’t mean if you opened your mouth. Opening a bag, you picked the jeans that were laying on the bed and folded them.

“What’s that?”

“A pair of jeans. Are you blind?”

You dropped the jeans into the bag, then a t-shirt. A pajama followed along with a few pairs of underwear.

“Are you going anywhere?” he drily asked.

“I can’t be around you right now. I just can’t. I want my mom.”

Damian crossed his arms and straightened his back. “Well, too bad because you’re not leaving this room until you talk to me.”

“Don’t,” you warned softly, tired already. “You’re going to make me say things I don’t mean.”

“You could just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to fight. You’re going to blow things out of proportion.”

“You are threatening to leave me, I’m sure I won’t do you worse.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“You’re being childish.”

“And you’re being an ass.”

“You know I don’t beg.”

“Really? You’re making it about pride right now?”

“If you would just tell me what the fuck is going on, I wouldn’t care about my pride.”

“I got laid off my job this afternoon.”

“Ah,” he let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good.”

“No, it isn’t! That’s the whole—“ you interrupted yourself to explain, “argh!”

“Wait.” He dropped his arms to his sides. “You were being harassed at work but you are mad at me?”

He didn’t get it. You had already known he wouldn’t, yet you weren’t sure what you had expected. An apology would have been nice.

To make it all worse, Damian continued talking, “I thought you would be relieved that somebody had done something about it.”

His eyes became sharper as he waited for your reaction. Soon you were able to hear his breathing.

“I was the one being harassed, I am the one who lost their job, and you’re getting mad at me?” you mocked him.

“You didn’t tell me! I found out by mistake. How do you think I felt?”

“I didn’t tell you because it happens all the time, Damian.”

Hell, he knew the city better than most people, how could he be so oblivious as to what people went through on a daily basis?

“I took care of it.”

“And they fired me for it,” you stressed. “Something you knew would happen.”

“I’ve told you multiple times that you don’t need to worry about having a job,” he reminded you. “I can give you everything you want and more.”

“It’s not...” you shook your head, exasperated. “I like having a job, Damian. It keeps me busy and focused.”

“Most hobbies can keep people busy and focused without putting them in danger.”

You usually enjoyed it when he was being a smartass, but this was one of the few exceptions.

“I feel trapped here. I spend so much time by myself, waiting for you or the call that they found you beat up or worse... all alone and up in my head. I’m tired of that.”

“Are you saying you want me to quit?” He sounded offended at the mere idea.

“I’m saying I liked having a job. This isn’t about you, for once it isn’t, and I wish you would have let me have it.”

“I couldn’t protect you there,” he mumbled.

“It was only one asshole. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“You say that, but what would’ve happened if it escalated? You weren’t even going to tell me!”

“Look how you reacted over something as mundane as that!”

“Don’t,” he warned, and in contrast to your warning from before, his was harsh. “You’re not listening to yourself.”

You threw the bag onto the bed and messed with your hair with both hands. “You’re being hypocritical by expecting me to be happy with something you wouldn’t be happy.”

“I’ve seen things you can’t even begin to imagine.”

“And I’ve experienced things you will never understand.”

“I know it’s normal for non-men to go through harassment,” he said grumpily. “That doesn’t mean you should put up with it.”

“And what’s your solution, Damian? Locking me up in here?”

”What’s yours? Breaking up with me and going back to your mom when you know she will be on my side?”

“I’m not breaking up with you.”

“You are not?”

“No... should I? Are you going to act like this all the time?”

He shook his head.

His lack of words wasn’t comforting, not when he had always been straightforward. You looked at the time and realized why he had fallen silent.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for patrol?”

“I should be patrolling already,” he answered.

“Go, then.”

He twisted his mouth upward. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, go.”

Of course a part of you wanted him to insist on staying, but you weren’t a selfish person. And you wanted to be mature and level-headed about this — the fact that he assumed you were breaking up with him didn’t sit well with you.

So you decided to take a bath and try to relax. Arguing with an imaginary Damian would be pointless. You wished you could forget the issue altogether, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Jobs from home were always an option, but they shouldn’t have to be for you when you were capable of working at any location.

Besides, limiting yourself just because something bad could happen sounded miserable.

════════════════════════

The bedroom door slowly opened and then silently closed. His steps were barely audible before you felt the bed dip. You knew he knew you were awake.

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Damian got under the covers and laid on his back as usual. “On my way here I was thinking...”

You held your breath.

“Is there any way for you to—“ He groaned. You could tell he was trying to find the right words. “What if you had your own business or a job of sorts where you can be safer?”

You frowned. “Are you blaming me for getting harassed?”

“No, I know it isn’t your fault.”

“So how would your idea fix it?” You rolled on the bed to lay on your side and look at him —his profile, at least—. “People who want to hurt other people or who think those things are okay won’t stop themselves because their potential victim isn’t just a worker. That’s not how it works.”

He tried not to pout. And as he failed, you added, “Look, I understand you want to take care of me, but you already do that in different ways.”

He stared up at the ceiling, still thankful that you had agreed on getting rid of the ugly texture it had been covered in when you moved. “But I don’t keep you as safe as you should be.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“I don’t want to have you locked up in here or to control you.” His voice got lower as he admitted, “It hurt to hear you say that.”

“Well, that’s kinda how it looks.”

“I know. I’m—“ he swallowed his spit before shifting to lay on his side too, facing you. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful earlier, you know? I appreciate the fact that you care about my safety, and I do feel safe with you.”

“I get what you meant. It’s just not something I enjoyed hearing.”

“You wouldn’t have heard it if you had talked to me.”

“And I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did if you had told me what was going on. We’re both at fault here.”

You hummed in agreement. Neither your or his intentions mattered anymore. It was done, and you could only hope it wouldn’t happen again.

“So... it’s cool if I look for another job, right?”

He inhaled sharply. “Just promise you will tell me if something happens. Anything.”

“I promise.”

“Good.”

“Do you promise to not react rashly if something happens?”

He considered the question for a lingering moment. “Depends on what that something is.”

“Something fixable with words,” you conceded.

“I promise.”

“You should get some sleep.”

“You too.”

He tensed as you scooted closer to him.

“Should I move?”

“No. Come here.” He wrapped his arm around you. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to touch me tonight.”

It had taken you both long to get used to sleeping next to somebody, even more so to be touched at night. You wouldn’t ruin such progress because you were annoyed.

He must’ve known you were still annoyed, but you weren’t mad anymore.

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x plus size reader #damian wayne

[sparklingdemon]

@philosphy123​ asked: Okay this will be a multipost question mr.pikachu demon so buckle up. So I read your tumblr about falling leaf and I got a fanfic idea from it. I also wanna ask this about the tyrranical gamefreak gods of the creepypasta universe.

Now I personally think it's b.s. that red can't share his spot with leaf and as a person who analyzes everything,someone should kill that soulless red. I also personally think gamefreak if they become too corrupt and powerhungry could become like team galactic and in turn be hypocrites.

Now fallen leaf is a big thing and also I submit to the belief that lyra and kris are best friends since my headcannon is that kris started her journey after lyra did. However, I do also believe that red overtook leaf's life considering, we always see red but barely see leaf.

These posts are moreso my analysis of fallen leaf mixed with my own headcannons. I can relate to leaf since gamefreak's anime series made a little girl only to kill her off as an explanation for mewtwo's rage. They did this twice btw technically.

I'm also kind of wondering why leaf doesn't just try killing gamefreak. Like if she's so adamant on revenge, cut the bullshit and just kill your enslavers. It's an easy and efficent way out. The gun is useless if nobody is there to wield it.

I personally if I met red, would just straight up kill red point blank so that he can't never hurt anyone ever again and wipe him from existence because hey I hate him.

This is personally my thoughts on the creepypasta. Leaf is wasting her eternity on a souless red that's a statue and instead should take direct revenge. Lyra is complacent, so is many others since nobody knows which is ruthless, and WHY HASN'T ANYONE KILLED RED YET!?

(I should start off my response by saying I am not a “Mr.”, I am nonbinary and use they/them, as you can see from my bio…!)

I feel as though you might misunderstand the purpose behind Fallen Leaf’s revenge against Red - It is an act of protest, like chaining yourself to a tree to prevent a deforester from cutting it down. While killing the person holding the chainsaw would also prevent the tree from being cut down, that is not the morally correct course of action, and that is definitely not the kind of person Leaf is!

Fallen Leaf’s revenge against Red is a protest against Game Freak to stop making girl characters that end up like her, and she won’t stop holding their “perfect poster boy” hostage until they make her Red’s equal. Killing Red outright would ruin her argument that she and Red can and should exist together as the girl and boy heroes of Kanto.

She herself doesn’t even have to power to speak to the real Game Freak, so instead, she made herself into a martyr so that her players who have realized her fate can fight for equality in the Pokémon games themselves. Like Leaf, we ourselves cannot do anything to change what decisions the company has already made, we can only criticize them after it's already been done - and that is what her actions should inspire you to do.

Game Freak shouldn’t be compared to fictional villains or gods, they are a real corporation that made a real decision. Even Red himself shouldn’t be seen as “the villain of Leaf’s story who deserves death”, he is merely the soulless embodiment of Game Freak’s nostalgia-biased decision. It is okay to loathe Fallen Leaf’s Red and wish he never replaced Leaf, but he has. Killing him will not change that, nor will it give anyone the satisfaction they want.

Fallen Leaf is less of a “Pokémon creepypasta”, and more-so a meta commentary about Game Freak’s real world sexism, so killing Red or even Game Freak themselves skews the reality of the message of the story.

We cannot celebrate a revenge against Red/Game Freak that never occurred in real life. If you were to boot up your HG/SS and go to Mt. Silver, you will only ever see Red, and Fallen Leaf was meant to express how hollow, unsatisfying, and real that feeling is. It's supposed to be a "what really happened to Leaf" story, one that you can think of as canon if you choose to believe in it. When you go to fight Red, you can believe that Leaf was the one who put him there, even if you can't see her anymore.

I understand your hatred against Red and the company who favors him, but the ending of Fallen Leaf was carefully and intentionally written to reflect what has happened in real life.

#ask #philosphy123 #long post

[eliemo]

Something Long and Stupid (Part 2)

Summary: Remus knew he wasn't a good person. He was Deadpool, a killer for hire, "the merc with a mouth." He'd come to terms with what he was a long time ago. He didn't need Spiderman to remind him of what he was.

He didn't need Virgil to come into his life and make him question it for the first time

Notes: Violence, blood, gore, sexual inneundos

I didn't make a taglist for this story but I know @teamplutoforlife wanted to be tagged <3 And thank you @cheshirevalentine for editing

Part 1

Remus was falling, twisting onto his back as he plummeted towards the ground, the buildings around him nothing but a blur as he flew past. He could faintly hear the construction on the ground over the pounding of his own heart and the howling of the wind rushing past him, barely hearing the alarmed shouts of the workers watching him fall.

Virgil was nothing but a speck in the distance now, perched on the edge of the roof. Lifeless white eyes watched him fall, unfeeling and still.

Pain exploded in Remus’s back as he slammed into something sharp, legs hitting the ground when he finally stopped falling. He could just barely make out the rusty, blood stained spike in front of him, poking through his chest from his back where he'd fallen, blood pooling around the wound and into his suit.

-

“Hey.”

Remus jumped so hard he nearly fell off the roof, scrambling to his feet and reaching for his gun as he whirled around to face whoever the fuck was stupid enough to sneak up on him.

Spiderman was perched beside him, apparently fine after his near death experience last night, and holding… a pizza box?

“Hey,” Remus said carefully. “What the fuck?”

Spiderman shrugged and held out the box in his hand. “I have pizza. You asked for pizza.”

Remus stared for a moment, frozen where he stood with his hand hovering over his gun, trying to figure out if this was a joke. “You… actually brought it?”

“Yeah?” Spiderman said, like he didn’t understand how this was in any way strange. “Oh did you… were you joking? Did you not actually want it, or—”

“No, I did.” Remus stayed right where he was. What the hell was this? Was this a prank? Was he being pranked?

“Then… here,” Spiderman said. He held out the pizza box, close enough for Remus to cautiously take. “I didn’t know what you liked so I just got cheese. But cheese is good. Everyone likes cheese.”

Holy shit. Spiderman was a dweeb.

Remus carefully opened the pizza box, and when there wasn’t a bomb or some kind of spider-themed booby trap inside, just a freshly baked cheese pizza from some local place he’d vaguely heard of, Remus let his shoulders relax and barked out a laugh.

“Well shit,” he said, pleasantly surprised. “Thanks, Webs.”

Spidey was shuffling a bit, looking ridiculously awkward, and Remus was suddenly reminded that they were both just… people under their masks. “Uh, yeah. No problem.”

Remus hesitated, because he hadn’t been kidding about Spiderman owing him a pizza he just… hadn’t actually expected him to follow through. There was no way Remus was eating all of it on his own, he barely ate much as it was.

“Do you, like…” he paused, wondering if this was going to get him punched or laughed at. “Do you want a slice?”

Spiderman actually startled, like him being asked to lunch was just as rare as Remus asking someone to lunch. Jeez, he’d have figured people begged Spiderman to eat with them all the time.

“I, uh… I bought it for you, so—”

“Yeah, and I’m offering. Christ, do you want some pizza or not?”

Spidey still hesitated, and while it was annoying as hell Remus supposed he’d be a hypocrite to judge when he’d been half convinced there was a bomb in the pizza box two minutes ago.

Well, it wasn’t like it would have been the first time.

“Uh, sure,” Spiderman said, still visibly wary. “Thank you.”

Remus ignored him in favor of opening the pizza box and setting it down, motioning for the vigilante to take as much as he wanted.

It wasn’t until Spidey turned away slightly to hook his fingers under the bottom of his mask that Remus remembered- duh- they both had to pull up their masks to eat.

It wasn’t a problem, it wouldn’t be nearly enough to risk exposing their faces to each other, but Remus really wasn’t in the mood to be gawked at. A glance at his jaw might ruin Spiderman’s lunch.

“I’m not looking,” Spidey said, and Remus realized he’d been hesitating for a few too many seconds. “I can go, if you don’t wanna pull up your mask around anyone.”

Remus waved him off, even as he continued to fiddle with the leather. “I’ve got some scars, is all. Like… a lot. People think they’re gross.”

“Oh,” Spiderman said, and then simply shrugged. “That’s fine, I don’t care. Scars happen, dude. I’ve got a bunch.”

Remus still hesitated, a little caught off guard from Spiderman calling him ‘dude' while so nonchalantly eating his pizza just a few feet away, but he quickly pulled himself together and tugged his leather mask up just below his nose.

It was just a few inches of skin, and still enough to reveal a handful of scars littered across his jaw, and the one that stretched down from his cheek.

Spidey barely glanced at him, which Remus guessed he should have seen coming. It’d be a little out of character for New York’s hero to be an asshole about someone’s scars, but you never knew with heroes. Some of them were pretentious assholes.

They ate their pizza like common civilians, perched on their rooftop and watching the people of New York mingle below.

Remus barely ate two slices. He didn’t really eat much to begin with, and it was far more entertaining to watch in silent awe as Spiderman easily finished the rest of the box. The hero was a good two heads shorter than Remus, and looked like he barely weighed a hundred pounds. If Remus didn’t know better, he’d think the guy never ate at all.

“My metabolism is different,” he explained sheepishly when he caught Reus staring. “I eat more than… you know. You. Regular people.”

Remus scoffed, because this was definitely the first time anyone had described him as a ‘regular person’ but he let it slide with an eye roll and a thanks for lunch.

They parted ways, and Remus let himself relax at the thought of having one less enemy roaming New York.

Remus hadn’t meant to start hanging out with Spiderman.

Really, he hadn’t. The impromptu pizza date was supposed to be the end of it, just a slightly awkward peace offering that made it clear neither of them would actively try to kill each other in the near future.

Remus had saved Spiderman because he was bored, and Spiderman had bought him a pizza. That was all.

But then less than a week later Spiderman had swung (literally) by with takeout- coincidentally from Remus’s favorite place a few blocks away- and Remus hadn’t been able to say no to sharing.

They’d shared a meal together three times in the last two weeks, and Remus was starting to think it wasn’t an accident.

It probably wasn’t helping that Remus had started carrying snacks on him.

Remus wasn’t going to eat them himself, and Spiderman was always complaining about how hungry he was, so he’d just started keeping packets of gummies or granola for when he saw the hero swinging past. Chucking them at his head was good target practice, anyway.

That didn’t mean they were friends. Remus didn’t have friends, because being friends with Deadpool was possibly the dumbest idea anyone could ever have.

Remus had seen what happens when people get close to him. He wasn’t going to go through that again.

Apparently, Spiderman had other ideas.

It had been just another fight that Remus had happened to run into, watching for a moment as Spiderman took down what was probably his third armed robbery of the day.

He knew he probably could have just continued on his way and gotten lunch, but there were five of them, all armed, and Remus didn’t feel great about those odds despite Spidey’s reputation.

So Remus had decided to return the favor, Spiderman had introduced himself by butting into Deadpool's fight after all, and stepped in to finish the job twice as fast.

And it had gone fine. Spiderman had greeted him with stupidly cheeky finger guns and unfortunately insisted they keep all of them alive, which wasn’t Remus’s specialty but he’d manage.

It had been easy, some druggie civilians no match for New York’s hero and the merc with a mouth, three of them encased in webbing within two minutes, another on the ground with a bullet in his knee.

It had been fine, until Remus was shot in the chest.

Which, to be fair, wasn’t a big deal. He was shot in the chest all the time. It’d be a hassle if he didn’t get the bullet out before his skin healed around it, but it wasn’t like he could die.

It occurred to him a bit too late that he had forgotten to tell Spiderman that.

“No!”

The raw panic and emotion In Spidey’s voice caught Remus off guard as he stumbled backwards, pain he was unfortunately used to by now exploding in his chest as the bullet met its mark. There had been a fifth goon, hiding out and biding his time, which would have been a great plan if it didn’t end with a face of webs and a swift punch to the temple.

Remus lowered himself to the ground, the wind knocked out of him, dark crimson blood pooling around his hand and flooding through his fingers as he clutched the wound.

Spiderman was rushing over, and Remus could practically feel the worry behind that lifeless mask. He skidded to a stop and dropped to a crouch, hands hovering, frantic and unsure.

And maybe Remus was just an asshole, but this was fucking hilarious.

“Deadpool?” Spidey called, the vigilante leaning over him as Remus dropped to lay on his back. “Jesus- hang in there okay? You’ll be fine.”

Remus forced himself to cough, wet and ragged, biting back a smile. “This is it for me, Webs. I can see the light.”

“Deadpool shut the fuck up!”

“Everything’s getting dark—”

“I said shut up,” Spiderman snapped, and Remus gasped involuntarily, arching his back when gloved hands pressed down on the wound. “You’re gonna be fine, you’re… just- just stay awake, okay? Don’t close your eyes.”

Remus coughed again to hide a smile, blood splattering his chin, closing his eyes anyway and letting his head fall back on the concrete. He stopped listening to Spidey’s rambling, committing to the bit of playing dead- very obviously playing dead, for the record. He stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth and everything, waiting for Spiderman to catch on and tell him off.

“No!” Except Spidey still sounded genuinely distressed, only pressing harder on the wound. “No, no, no! Deadpool! Wake up!”

Well. This wasn’t any fun if Spiderman was too panicked to even pay attention. He sighed, opening his eyes again to sit up slightly and whack the vigilante’s shoulder.

“I can’t die, stupid,” he said, grinning when Spiderman scrambled back. “Cut it out. I’ve just gotta get the bullet out so it doesn’t heal around it. Those things hurt like a bitch, so—”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Remus opened his mouth to respond, because there were lots of things wrong with him and he had a list at the ready. But he didn’t get the chance because suddenly Spidey was throwing himself forward, wrapping his arms around Remus and pulling him close, probably getting blood all over his suit.

Haha, what the fuck?

“You’re such a bitch,” Spiderman said, muffled since his face was practically buried in Remus’s shoulder. “You’re the fucking worst.”

“Aww, were you worried about me?” Remus asked, burying his shock. “That’s so sweet, Spidey.”

“Shut the hell up,” Spiderman growled. “I thought you were going to die.”

“You were so worried! It was so cute, oh my god!”

Spiderman finally pulled back, only to rear back and punch Remus square in the shoulder. Hard.

Remus barked out a laugh, now nursing two injuries. “Fucking- ow. I still feel pain.”

“Sucks.”

Remus crossed his arms, wincing when it pulled at the bullet wound still in his chest. “Rude.”

“I’m rude?” Spiderman asked, incredulous. “You thought it would be funny to play dead!”

“To be fair,” Remus argued. “It was funny.”

“No it wasn’t!”

Remus shrugged, already turning his attention to the bullet in his chest. “If you had known it would be funny.”

“Well I didn’t,” he said, the mask’s white eyes glued to Remus’s hands. “I thought you were dying.”

“I can’t die,” Remus said. “That’s not a joke, Webs. I don’t just regenerate fast, I can’t be killed.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that?”

Remus shrugged, a little put off because this was not how he’d expected this to go. Damn Spiderman and his stupid savior complex.

He turned his attention back to the bullet wound, the pain already faded to a familiar numbness, but two gloved hands grabbed his wrists before he could start digging around for the bullet.

“Here,” he said, obnoxiously soft. “I’ve got it, let me help.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Remus said, tensing against his will at the thought of someone else caring for a wound. “It’s not too deep, I can get it.”

“Are your gloves clean?”

He took a minute to consider that, calculating the swords he’d been holding, the gun he’d reloaded that morning, coming up blank when he tried to think of the last time he’d properly cleaned any of his weapons. Not to mention he had to climb buildings with his hands, lacking Spidey’s abilities to walk up walls and propel himself across the city in seconds.

“Probably,” he lied. “What am I gonna do, get sick?”

Spiderman hesitated. “Do you do that?”

“No.”

“I can still get it,” Spidey said. “Let me help.”

Remus scoffed, trying to cover up his own uneasiness. “You wanna stick your hand in there? You know it’s gross, right?”

“I know how to remove a bullet, Deadpool,” Spiderman said. “I’ve gotten shot before, I can get it.”

There was no reason not to drop his arms and let Spiderman do what he wanted. The asshole was stubborn, but he obviously meant well. With how shaky Remus’s hands were, Spidey getting the bullet out would probably be quicker anyway.

And he was the city’s hero. He’d made it clear he didn’t mean Deadpool any harm, especially not when the Merc had so graciously dropped in to save his ass today.

Remus didn’t know why it was so hard to just relax.

“This is dumb,” he said, wondering if he could annoy Spidey into giving up. “I can handle it fine.”

“I know,” the vigilante said. “But I want to help. It’s like...returning the favor or whatever.”

Remus sighed, a little shaky now, but reluctantly nodded. The longer they argued, the faster the skin would heal over the bullet still lodged in his chest, and Remus would really like to avoid that happening. Again.

“Fine,” he growled. “Jesus, you’re stubborn.”

Under the mask, Remus was sure Spiderman was smirking at him. “Look who’s talking.”

Remus hadn’t expected Spiderman to be so gentle. He was digging a bullet wound out of Deadpool’s chest, there wasn’t really a way to make this a pleasant experience, but Spidey was taking his time, moving carefully as he dug into the wound.

“Could you hurry up?” Remus growled, teeth clenched. This would have been over in seconds if he was doing it himself. It was so much easier to just stick his hand in the wound, dig around for a second, and rip the bullet out. “I’m not exactly a fan of having someone else’s fingers in my chest.”

Spiderman didn’t even spare him a glance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I got shot,” Remus snapped. “We’re well past that.”

Spidey didn’t respond after that and Remus for once stayed quiet to let him concentrate, breathing heavily to try to ignore the panic that came with being vulnerable like this. The vigilante couldn’t kill him, but he sure as hell could cause him a shit ton of pain.

But he wouldn’t. Remus had to keep reminding himself that he wouldn’t. Spiderman was insufferably good- he wouldn’t kick someone while they were down.

Eventually Spiderman’s fingers found the bullet and Remus gasped, forcing himself to shove the pain away and make a lewd sounding moan when Spidey’s fingers left the wound.

“Jesus,” Spiderman muttered, and Remus laughed when he tossed the bullet dripping in dark blood to the side. “You okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Remus said, and he was. Physically at least. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a civil conversation with someone, let alone had someone willing to help patch him up. “See? All good. It’s already healing itself.”

True to his word, Remus’s chest was fusing itself back together, skin closing up over the still bleeding wound, the rest of the pain fading to a background throb. It’d be like nothing ever happened in ten minutes.

“Holy shit,” Spiderman muttered, leaning in close to watch. Remus tensed uncomfortably. “That’s...fucking wild.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Remus brushed it off, scrambling to his feet and ignoring the way Spidey moved to try and help. “Anyways. Are there any more fights you need me to hold your hand through, or can I go take a nap?”

“Oh please,” Spidey scoffed. “I was fine. All you did was get in the way and get shot.”

“I saved your ass,” Remus retorted, smiling behind the leather mask. “You’d be dead if it weren’t for me, Webs.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Spiderman mumbled, but Remus was willing to bet money he was smiling too. “Go take your nap, Deadpool.”

Remus gave a mock salute, sheathing his sword and turning away from the remnants of the battle and starting for his apartment.

Maybe Spidey wasn’t so bad after all.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #spiderman virgil #deadpool remus #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #violence tw #blood tw #gun tw #injury tw #writing #fanfiction #spiderman #deadpool #dukexiety

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

#* #my policeman #godd this book...i cant wait for the movie #mp

[boognish-worshipper]

ok so like i had this idea for a while n it took me MONTHS to finish bc i was nvr content w/ my writing n whatnot yadda yadda yadda anyway,, this is basically a what if thing about the triads shooting trevor in ludendorff n michael realizing how dumb he is

(my apologies that it’s so fuckin looooooong but I didn’t wanna leave it on a short note that felt incomplete. hope y’all like it !!!!! sorry for any grammatical errors or if the formatting’s funky)

//

Why didn’t he realize it sooner? Was he stupid? No, no. He was just blind. Blind for the past 10 years. Who knows. Maybe even longer than that. Fucking Michael. It always came back to that venomous shithead, constantly ruining everything for him. Did he just... forget? Was he so focused on that bloodsucker when he was “dying” in front of him he completely forgot Brad got shot first? That Brad died first? He didn’t even really think about him when shit went down. Or care much about Brad in general for that matter. The guy was a dick who just worked with other dicks back in the day, eventually joining their motley crew. A fading memory more than anything. His primary focus had always been Michael, who he thought was his right hand man. Trevor always knew that there was something different about him. As frustrating as Michael could be, it still didn’t change how he felt deep down. Michael wasn’t like the others. Or at least, that’s what he had thought. The night he found out that Michael’s lie ran deeper than he led on was one he wouldn’t forget.

He arrived at Michael’s house in a short amount of time. Hopping up the steps he made his presence known, standing in the entrance of the living room. He plopped down next to Michael, who scooted away from him slightly, still not ready for close contact from Trevor.

“Family ain’t back yet, huh?”

“Nope.”

“She’s a Goddamn fool, man.”

Trevor was never one to hide his jealousy towards Amanda. The two had been going at it for years, and it was always regarding Michael. Catty behavior between two people who had complicated relationships with the man, in their own unique ways. Amanda was scared of Trevor, but was never afraid of talking shit to his face. It was never any serious threats whenever they shot petty quips at one another anyway. She knew Trevor would never kill or harm her, all thanks to Michael, who spoke up again.

“Despite all the chaos of these last few weeks, I think I finally figured it out… I know, it sounds ridiculous-“

To Trevor, the thought wasn’t ridiculous. He knew Michael would never change. He would always be a killer, a man of action through and through. He was wasting away on a couch, rewatching classic Vinewood every night. To him, it only seemed right for Michael to keep taking scores.

“You’re back man!” He proclaimed, emphasizing his next line, “We are back!”

With excitement in his eyes, Trevor went on to boast about the little clique they had formed, and how they only needed to bust Brad out to fully reunite. Michael looked solemn, shaking his head slightly.

“That’s not it. I got money, it just makes you miserable-“ Now it was his turn to have excitement shine in his eyes.

“I wanna make movies.”

“Great. That’s great… and uh, so where exactly does this leave me in the second act of your life?”

He felt his stomach sink somewhat, regretting having asked that question. Michael would always tiptoe around it, avoiding the inevitable. But he couldn’t run from the past anymore. It would always catch up to him.

“This is not a game to me! Alright? This is a fuckin’ way of life.”

“I got a fuckin’ family!”

“Yeah, well, I got nothin’! No one gives a fuck about me!”

There was a pause. A hesitation. Amber eyes looked sorrowfully yet savagely into pale blue ones.

“I do.”

Something in Trevor snapped hearing those words. He couldn’t stand the audacity of Michael saying that to him. Because to him, Michael didn’t seem to give a fuck about what happened to Trevor. No matter how many times he lamented to him about everything he went through.

“Oh… Fuck you.”

Trevor rose from his seat, beginning to pace around the room, stabbing a finger in Michael’s direction. He did nothing but stare between his feet, not bothering to look up at Trevor.

“I saw your grave. I mourned you. And then it turns out that everything I fucking thought about you was wrong. Everything! You’re not dead, and you’re not a man.”

Michael shot up from his seat, cool demeanor abandoned in a fit of anger.

“Well, what the fuck are you?”

“I’m your fucking nightmare!”

“Yeah, enough with your Goddamn threats!”

Trevor did nothing but scoff at him, backing away like he was about to leave the room. Instead, some kind of alarm went off in his head, urging him to stay and ask the question he pushed far into the back of his mind. The inevitable was happening, and he couldn’t ignore the need to ask anymore. If Michael himself stood before him alive as ever, then who the fuck was in Michael Townley’s grave? Then suddenly, and ultimately, it clicked for him. Fucking Brad.

“You treacherous piece of shit! You’re fuckin’ dead! You’re fucking dead!”

As it clicked for Trevor, it clicked for Michael.

“Oh, fuck! Trevor! Hey, T!”

He peeled out of the driveway in Michael’s car. God, it smelled just like that fucking prick. It made him want to cry.

“Fuck!” He screamed out to no one in particular.

He slammed on the gas and wiped away any forming tears. His phone began to ring and he saw an all too familiar photo appear. Michael. What the fuck could he possibly say or want right now?

“Fuck you.” He spat out.

“Hey, come on. Where you going?”

“You know where I’m going, fuck you!”

The fucking nerve of him to ask that. What was wrong with him? The rest of the conversation wasn’t any better. It sounded like some stupid break up between two teens, as if Michael had cheated on him with some hooker instead of lying about the past decade or so.

“Trevor, come on!”

“Fuck you Michael! Soon enough, I will.”

He was on his way to the air field, and dialed up Ron as soon as he could. He needed to get out of here before Michael could stop him.

“Trevor? It’s great to uh..”

“Is there a plane I can use? Get me across country?”

“Sure! Sure. We got one fueled up for a trip south of the border.”

“I’m taking it.”

“Is everything okay, man?”

“Everything is not okay. Nothing has ever been okay but I’m going up there to see it for myself. I’m going to see an old friend alright? If you’re where I think you are buddy...”

Trevor gripped the steering wheel harder until his knuckles turned white. Tears stung his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it out.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I guess.. I guess I didn’t want to. Fuck!”

He clutched his phone tightly as he spoke, cracking the already shattered screen more. His voice was faltering, and it became harder to speak clearly.

“Maybe I knew all along. I’m gonna find out for sure and I’m gonna... do something about it! God there was always something wrong with that job, what went down after I guess I-“

The tears made their way down his face. His voice trembled and threatened to crack.

“I guess I wanted to believe- Fucking.. Fucking flea circus!”

He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Too many things began to resurface. Seeing red, he just cried out to Ron, still on the phone patiently listening to him rant.

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

“I’m sorry Trevor...”

He slammed on the gas as he approached the airfield. Running over to the plane, he hopped in and began his journey to Ludendorff. As he left, storm clouds poured in and darkened the sky. A thick rain accompanied by the thunder and lighting combo shook the small plane he was in. He braced himself for the rest of the trip there and kept going.

Ludendorff was just like he remembered. Cold, empty, and super fucking depressing. Why was the midwest like this all the time? Sure, living it up in Sandy Shores wasn’t the most ideal but for fucks sake, at least it was warm. He pulled up to the cemetery shortly after landing, and hurried off to find that God forsaken grave. After glancing at each passing gravestone, there it was. The late great Michael Townley’s place of burial.

“Who you got in here..?”

He scoffed, knowing his answer.

“As if I need to ask...”

It took forever to reach the coffin. The wood was brittle, which meant it would be easy enough to pry open and see who was actually in Michael’s place. He had been so caught up in his digging he didn’t notice a set of steps coming at him.

“You’re wasting your time.”

Trevor was wasting his time? No, he was making perfectly good use of it. Michael was wasting his if anything. Flying all the way out here for what? No, don’t say it... Was it finally gonna happen? Was Michael waiting for the opportunity to finally take a pop at him and leave his carcass for good? To toss him right into the grave with Brad? He didn’t want to believe so but hey, it’s Michael. Who knows what he’ll do. He couldn’t bear to listen to another word that came out of his mouth, and knew he needed to get the jump on him.

“You reptilian motherfucker!”

How did it end up here? Why was he pointing a gun at Michael? What the fuck was he doing? He didn’t want to kill him. He never did, even if he had a million justifiable reasons to.

“I didn’t want it to have to come to this.”

There it was again. The fucking lying. That same exact fucking lying that got them here to begin with.

“Yes you did! You just don’t have the fucking balls to do it! But I do!”

But Trevor was also a hypocrite. He didn’t have it in him to ever go through with killing Michael. No matter what the son of a bitch did to him, he meant too much to Trevor for him to ever consider killing the man himself. He didn’t want to think about being the cause of him dying for good.

“I’ve got more to lose than you!”

“Never a truer word has been spoken, brother.”

He said that with as much malice as he could muster. Michael was the farthest fucking thing from being a brother. This was a man he had loved. Hell, still loved, despite it feeling more and more like a stranger before him with each encounter they had.

“Now.. pull the fucking trigger.”

The air was too still. It was choking him, making him feel frozen. Sure, weather played a part in the feeling but this... was different. His blood felt like ice. He couldn’t do it.

“You ain’t got the guts.”

Neither of them could do it. Even if he fired he knew he’d miss. Michael had the upper hand here.

“Take the fucking shot!”

Wait. Was Michael... crying? No. No way the great Michael fucking Townley was actually crying over this. That motherfucker. He’s such a fucking fraud. A coward. Always running. Running from Trevor, his past, his problems, his family and his fucking emotions.

His train of thought had been interrupted when he heard snow faintly crunching not too far from them.

“What was that?-“

A noise shot through the tense air that surrounded them. Woosh. Fuck. No. It couldn’t be- Ow. No. No fucking way. He looked down in awe and there it was, a distinct bullet hole, pierced through his torso. It nearly missed his heart, but was most certainly in a spot to do enough damage to him. He looked back up at Michael, mouth slightly agape leaking with the blood that began to pool in his mouth. Peaking behind him, he saw two figures lingering far behind. The fucking Triads. Of course, how could he forget? It’s not everyday you slam the head of a Chinese mobster’s son into a post. Fucking shit. If only he hadn’t messed with Tao…

He was fucked, and he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he felt himself wanting to collapse on the ground. Michael looked at him in pure disbelief, eyes wide enough to pop from his head. Normally Trevor would giggle at the sight, but any noise from him would be a gurgle of blood in place of it.

“…Trevor?”

That was enough to knock him to the ground.

“Mr. Phillips! Mr. Cheng wants a word with you!”

Michael whipped his head back, and began dragging the two of them to cover. Was that supposed to be a fucking warning shot?? The one who shot Trevor spoke in Chinese to the other gunman, then spoke in English to the duo.

“Phillips! You and your boyfriend cannot hide from us!”

Michael grabbed his gun and started firing back, clipping the two in the front instantly.

“Trevor… what the fuck did you get into?! What are they on about? I… I’m not…”

Trevor couldn’t speak. He could only murmur at the man beside him.

“Trevor, seriously, you better answer me because I’m pretty fucking lost here-“

He angrily turned his head back to find Trevor on the verge of slipping out of consciousness, his face dropping at what was before him.

“Ah, Trevor! Shit!”

Before Michael could help him out, a van burst through the gate to the left, and more yelling ensued.

“Get out the van! Go find them!”

Michael panicked, pushing his gun into Trevor’s limp hands so he could grab the dead Triad henchman’s sturdier gun. He fired and clipped a few more men, trying his best to keep an eye on Trevor. His breathing was shallow, and he attempted to prop himself up so he could fire at them too.

“Trevor, what the fuck is going on? Who are these guys?”

“It’s the fucking,” He winced, pushing himself onto his knees so he could grab the side of the grave they hid behind. He spit out some blood that leaked from his mouth, staining the snow beneath them.

“The God damn Chinese, sugar tits.”

“Why are they-“

“Ask questions later, I’m fucking bleeding out here.”

Trevor forced himself to fully stand, his legs wobbling slightly. He fired a few more rounds, face contorted in pain. Another bullet flew by him, grazing his side.

“Fuck! Ow!” He growled.

“T, what in the hell are you doing?! Get down!”

“Fuck off you fucking leech! I can-“ He spit out more blood.

“I can handle this myself!”

He groaned, keeping his aim as still as he possibly could, which wasn’t very still at all. Stubborn as ever, Trevor went in guns blazing. He used not only the gun Michael had forced into his hands, but also the one he had brought with him. Several more shots fired at him until he felt a hand yank him back to the ground. He fell with a slight thump, and pain jolted through him again.

“You crazy bastard! We’re getting the fuck out of here, but that can’t exactly be accomplished if you’re dead!”

“Oh please! You already want me dead you fat fucking snake!” He wheezed out.

“Jesus Christ- Trevor. I already told you-“

“Shit, Mikey-”

Before either one could do anything about it, a Triad that had snuck up on them pistol whipped Michael in the back of the head. Trevor scrambled backwards and attempted to get on his feet, but to no avail. In a last minute effort, he lifted Michael’s gun and fired. For someone who was labeled a lousy shot by his partner, he felt that Michael would’ve been proud of his aim at that moment in time. A clean shot, right between the fucker’s eyes. He grinned slightly, adrenaline still coursing through him. He barked out a laugh, forgetting how much of a chore it was to allow any noise to escape him. It caused him to break into a coughing fit, spitting up more blood onto the snow. He looked from the small circle of blood that formed in front of him, back to Michael’s limp body. He shoved him slightly, trying to nudge him back into consciousness.

“Mikey. Michael. Get up. We gotta go like you said-“

He heard another van pull up. Then another. Fuck.

“You gotta be shitting me..”

Trevor, disregarding his wounds weakening him to the point his vision grew spotty, swapped his handgun for the gun Michael grabbed. He tried his best to prop the other man up against a grave, well out of the Triad’s line of sight. He pushed through any pain he felt, still riding his adrenaline high, wiping the rest of them out one by one. He rushed back over to Michael, who was stirring awake.

“Michael, for fucks sake get up already! Jesus I’m still fucking bleeding and I have to save your ass right now? Come on!”

He was finally able to stand, and Trevor slung Michael’s arm around his shoulder, helping him regain his balance. They helped one another walk through the mess of snow, blood, and bodies to get to the rental car, which surprisingly was still in alright shape. Across the train tracks, one more van started to pull up, right before the nightly train passed through town.

“Haha! Thank you train for being useful this time!”

He forgot how much it hurt to laugh, clutching his side and muttering curses under his breath as the two raced over to the car. Michael hopped in the driver’s seat after placing Trevor in the passenger’s side. Trevor’s adrenaline rush began to die down along with the rest of him. Michael raced out of the cemetery, narrowly escaping the left over henchmen. Glancing over at Trevor, he realized how shit of a shape he was in. Despite not living in North Yankton in close to 10 years, he still remembered where all the nearby hospitals were. It wasn’t ideal, considering what they were doing up there and who they were and what not, but it was better than having Trevor die on the spot.

“Hey, don’t you fucking die on me right now buddy. There’s no way you ain’t surviving the shit show we just went through, which only happened thanks to you.”

Trevor asked himself why Michael was still giving him snide remarks about his unruliness. He figured now wasn’t the time to really argue, but still tried nonetheless.

“You… fuckin’ snake.. you think you’re so..”

“I’m so what Trevor? No you know what- Don’t speak right now, but try to stay awake, please?”

“Mmph..”

The ride out of Ludendorff was quiet. The radio was off, and neither one chose to speak. Michael of course was driven mad by the silence.

“…Look. Trevor I- I fucked up. There’s nothing I can do now to fix it, no matter how many times I apologize. But you do- You do know that I cared about you then, and I care about you now…”

Trevor did nothing but grunt in response, eyelids heavy. Michael sighed.

“We’re almost to a hospital. They’ll fix you up good, and- and you’re gonna be fine. You ain’t dying on me yet. I mean- you’ve survived worse? You.. I…”

He huffed out a breath, gripping the steering wheel tight. The rest of the ride was silent, save for Michael making sure Trevor was still alive and conscious. They made it to the hospital, with Michael carrying him fireman style, seeing as Trevor was very lanky compared to him. He called out for someone to help, using his gift of lying to say that Trevor was just shot by a random mugger, so the report back wouldn’t seem too suspicious. He patiently waited for word back from a doctor, eventually seeing someone come to him with a clip board.

“Are you… Franklin?”

Michael had been smart enough to give them both fake names, but he just blurted out the first two names that came to mind. Right now, he went by Franklin, and for all they knew Trevor was Lamar.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Your friend is in critical condition, but you got him here just in time. Any later and he wouldn’t have made it.”

The last sentence caused Michael’s ears to ring.

“He’s going to be out of surgery soon, the bullet wound was pretty deep.” The doctor narrowed their eyes slightly, getting ready to write the report down.

“You said that he was mugged?”

“Yeah. The guy fired at him and ran off. Didn’t get a good look at his face.”

“Hmm… well alright. I’ll let you know when your friend is ready for visitors.”

The rest of the night was painfully slow. By the time Trevor was out of surgery, he was still hopped up on morphine, allowing him to rest properly for the first time in forever. Michael sheepishly walked in, careful not to be too loud. He made his way over to Trevor’s side, sitting in the seat next to his bed. He hadn’t seen Trevor look so content like that in so long. Not since... those days. He spoke to himself, seeing as Trevor was fast asleep.

“You worry me so much you dumbfuck… why do you pull the shit you pull? I mean.. shit. I… I love you, man. I do. But what if you died without ever hearing that from me again? Is that the reason why you get like this? Shit. Right. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Besides everything about Ludendorff, it angered Trevor to his core that Michael could never admit he loved Trevor unless he was drunk or alone. In this instance, he technically was. Trevor was peacefully dreaming, while Michael felt restless. He proceeded to fumble around for his cellphone to reach out to Franklin, who had been wondering what happened to them. He knew Franklin would probably be up anyway.

Yo Mike, where u at? Trevor too, Lamar n I gotta do one last job wit him.

F

Currently in North Yankton kid. Trev found out about Brad. Some Chinese gangsters rolled on us, T got shot. Be home soon hopefully.

M

Oh shit. Stay safe out there homie. See u soon ig.

F

Michael let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, looking back up at Trevor. He tried to think about what he would do next. Knowing that visiting hours were limited, he felt a twinge of guilt knowing he’d have to leave Trevor alone for a night after what happened. But it was late, and he couldn’t stay there overnight. He figured he’d have to bunk in some cheap motel for the time being. Just until Trevor and him were ready to leave North Yankton. He spoke to the doctor from before to let them know he would come back the next morning. When he arrived at the nearest shit motel, he still couldn’t find it in him to sleep. He was tired, sure, but his mind wouldn’t allow him to drift off. Even if he did, he would find himself jolting awake, the scene of Trevor getting shot playing over and over in his head. He’d almost been responsible for Trevor’s death once, he couldn’t let it happen for real. What would he do anyway if he did die? He quickly brushed the thought off, not wanting to consider the possibilities.

He returned to the hospital the next morning, half awake from the lack of sleep. Visiting hours were early, and he wanted to get them both out of here as fast as he could. Walking to Trevor’s room, he saw the man sitting upright looking out the window. North Yankton may have been cold as a bitch, but from time to time it had real pretty sunrises. He knocked lightly on the door, and Trevor turned to face him.

“Hey, T…”

He couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I thought you left.”

“Visiting hours are limited, T. You should know that by now.”

He didn’t say anything in response, facing back towards the window instead. Michael sat down in one of the chairs across from him.

“You.. you worried me. I thought-“

“You thought what, cupcake? That I’d just die on the spot, and you could just leave my dead body there-“

“Trevor! For the last time that wasn’t my fucking plan!”

Their voices steadily increased above the normal level it should’ve been for a hospital setting.

“Then why did you have a fucking gun, huh Mikey?”

“I could ask the same for you!”

“Oh of course, turn the situation onto me again-“

“You brought a gun for what, Trevor?!”

“That’s not the issue at hand here!”

“Yes it is!”

A voice chimed into their argument.

“Excuse me. You,” A nurse who walked in pointed at Trevor.

“You need to rest. And sir, I’m not sure who you are, but if you want to stay as a visitor I suggest you lower your voice and behave.”

The two men looked at each other angrily before sitting back down. The nurse exited, most likely wanting to return later so Michael could discuss discharging him. Silence filled the room briefly.

“T… I meant what I said.” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

Trevor didn’t look him in the eye. His arms were crossed, and he just looked out the window.

“I could’ve lost you.”

The other man still said nothing.

“I could’ve lost you and you would’ve died not knowing I..” He trailed off.

Trevor turned back to look at Michael while speaking.

“Knowing what? You hiding something else from me, porkchop?”

“I…”

“Spit it the fuck out Mikey or I swear to God-“

“I love you.”

His felt his stomach twist uncomfortably, and his hands became clammy. He finally forced the words out, sober.

“I love you.” He repeated, shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Trevor while saying it. He chose to look at his feet instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. And I just.. kept thinking that you could’ve died not hearing that from me ever again.”

He didn’t notice it at first, but tears brimmed his eyes. Trevor’s scowl fell and his face softened.

“What?” Was all he could choke out.

“Don’t.. don’t make me say it again.” He said, face flushing red.

“You..” Trevor didn’t finish his sentence. He shuddered in his seat, ready to cry himself. He buried his face in his hands, muffling something incoherent.

“What?”

He lifted his head up, tears streaking his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For.. being like this.”

Trevor was a lot of things. You couldn’t just describe him in only one word. Michael tried sifting through the options of what he meant.

“I pushed you so hard back then I.. I thought I was losing you. I didn’t want to. All it did was make you want to leave even more.” Trevor kept sniffling.

“Trev…”

“Why Michael? Why do you do this to me?”

He wanted to ask him “Do what?”, but they both knew the answer. Michael never let his feelings be more than surface level. He was repressed and Trevor hated it. Trevor continued to cry, and the tears that Michael held in spilled.

“Hey.. don’t… don’t apologize, T. Please.”

“I..” He hiccuped.

“I’ve loved you for so long. Why couldn’t you have done the same?”

Michael kept his head down. He didn’t want to see the heartbroken expression on Trevor’s face. It only made him feel worse.

“You left me.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“But you still did. Telling me that doesn’t change anything. You became another person in my life that I loved and then you left. Same as always for me.”

Everything Trevor loved was always out of his reach. Flying, his mother, Michael, Patricia… He could go on. Nothing was ever gonna be permanent for him.

“But I’m here for you now, T. I’m not going anywhere.”

He finally looked up to see Trevor’s sad eyes burning a hole right through him. His silence told him it’d be a long while before he could believe his words.

“Now.. uh. Let’s get the fuck outta this place.”

It didn’t take long for Trevor to be discharged. The doctors had told him he should stay for another day or so, but only got an irritated response from Trevor. Figuring the duo wouldn’t budge on wanting to leave, he was signed off for clearance. They eventually found the plane Trevor flew in on, and made their way out of the state. Neither one knew if this would change anything between them, but Trevor felt more at ease around him. It would still take time and effort for any left over wounds to heal, but for right now, Trevor was content.

#gta v #michael/trevor #trikey #fanfic #this is my first fic #i’ve never done this before #i really hope you guys like this despite how fucking long it is #sorry for any errors #or typos

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.2)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 3.6k

oikawa x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

It’s just really bad timing for Oikawa that the day after is the day in which the Aoba Johsai third-years planned their monthly hangout. 

He’s rocking back and forth in front of your house, trying not to let the weird feeling in his stomach eat at him. He hasn’t seen you since you both walked home the day before when he was secretly cursing the sun because “did you always look like you were heaven-sent or was it just the lighting?”

In his head, he’s trying to convince himself that he didn’t avoid you this morning - that the reason he didn’t spend the day over at your house before your hangout like he’d always done was because he would see you later anyways. He tries to say that it's because he just needed some time to recharge, which isn’t necessarily false, but it’s a half-truth all the same. 

“Hey.” His head turns to where you’re standing in your doorway, already smiling up at him. “Where’s that outfit from? Iwaizumi’s closet?”

Oikawa looks down at himself. He’s wearing one of the hoodies he did indeed steal from Iwaizumi a few months ago, and he had also opted for a pair of grey sweats that he haphazardly picked out without notice. He did have to admit that it was a very Iwaizumi-style outfit.  “Only the sweatshirt, Y/N-chan. Don’t tease,” he says with his usual chipper voice. 

You shake your head at him, and the small movement draws his gaze to the small alien earrings that dangle from your ears. He wants to ask if you could help him find a plush-sized version of that alien to add to his own plushie collection (that only you and Iwaizumi know about), but by the time he’s opened his mouth, you’re already turning to lock your door. 

You hand him a piece of candy that you had in your pocket and you both begin to walk in a slightly off silence to Iwaizumi’s house. There isn’t necessarily anything uncomfortable about it, but Oikawa’s blinking to himself because you don’t seem to be fazed in the slightest about the happenings of yesterday. Best friends must kiss their best friends all the time don’t they? That’s why you don’t seem to care. He doesn’t care. No, he doesn’t. 

Oikawa practically breathes a sigh of relief when Iwaizumi joins you two. He knows that if you were alone for even a moment longer, you would’ve picked up on his odd mood and asked him what was wrong. He wouldn’t have an answer to that. Not that there was anything wrong. There wasn’t.

Once Iwaizumi joins you two, Oikawa doesn’t have much time to be within his own thoughts because he and Iwaizumi quickly engage in a friendly teasing argument about the day before. You simply walk between them, piping up at times to tease Oikawa for some reason or another. It feels entirely too normal, and Oikawa isn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

“My legs are killing me,” you say after walking for about two miles, mostly due to the fact that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were having another back-and-forth that was slowly getting out of hand. “Did Matsukawa and Hanamaki really have to choose a place so far away? Actually, scratch that. Did you two really have to make us walk?”

“Suck it up, my darling Y/N-chan, we’ve only got a few more blocks to go,” Oikawa says. He notices a soft redness on your cheeks. 

“You’re one to talk,” you mumble. “You were complaining just ten minutes ago,” 

“I’m allowed to be whiny.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“But Y/N-channn.” He makes sure to really draw out the latter half chan, his grin widening when he sees a slight pout form at your lips. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me when you’re being a baby.”

“You can’t call me a baby! I’m practically a tree next to you!”

You cross your arms, and look defiantly up at him. “I’ll call you a baby if I want to.”

“I’m gonna throw you over my shoulder if you don’t take that back.”

“God you two are insufferable,” Iwaizumi mumbles from besides you two, but the small smile on his face betrays his attempt at strictness. You playfully roll your eyes at him and Oikawa is unfazed, much too used to Iwaizumi’s gruff exterior by now. “I’ll just carry her if it makes you two shut the hell up.”

At the same time that you shout “Really?”, Oikawa shouts “No!”

Both you and Iwaizumi turn to stare at Oikawa, who seems to lose his composure just ever so slightly. 

“Shittykawa, for the last time. I’m not going to carry you.”

“That’s not what I meant, Iwa-chan.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’ll carry Y/N-chan.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze focuses just a beat too long on Oikawa, and it’s all Oikawa needs to see to know that Iwaizumi will probably be watching him a little extra tonight. He always does that when he feels like there’s something off. 

Whatever he must’ve seen on Oikawa’s face was either satisfactory or something that puzzled him because he repents instead of interrogating him. “Fine. Carry her if it’ll heal your ego or whatever. Just don’t do shit to your knee or I’ll actually murder you.”

“Guys, it’s fine. I was only joking.” You pipe up, clearly confused at the interaction between Oikawa and Iwaizumi just now. Oikawa can feel something else in your gaze too, but he’s afraid he won’t be able to look away if he attempts to analyze what it means. 

Something in Oikawa deflates a little at your words though. You seemed all but ready to let yourself be carried by Iwaizumi, but the moment he suggested doing the exact same thing, you shied away. “Well the offer still stands,” he says, despite the minor sting of rejection. “Besides it’ll make up for the practice I was forced to miss yesterday.” 

“Really, it’s fine. I don’t want you to hurt your knee,” you reply. This time, he can practically hear the odd something in your voice. The fact that he can’t pinpoint what it is irritates him to no end. 

The rest of the walk to the karaoke place goes relatively quiet. Quiet in the sense that Iwaizumi and Oikawa don’t squabble, but rather all three of you have small minor conversations about anything and everything. 

Oikawa’s mood turns mildly sour when you tell him and Iwaizumi that by some unfortunate luck, you’d crossed paths with your ex-boyfriend while on a walk that morning. He wishes that he would’ve just sucked up his thoughts and just spent the day at your house so that maybe by some weird string of fate, you wouldn’t have seen the tall, brown-haired baseball captain while on a walk. Oikawa didn’t realize he was scowling until you poked a finger at his cheek and told him that he “had to stop thinking about Kageyama and Ushijima because they would only cause premature wrinkles and ruin his pretty face.” He doesn’t tell you that his two most bitter rivals were far, far away from the forefront of his mind at the moment. 

“Took you three long enough,” Hanamaki practically yells when he spots you three from across the street. 

You beam and yell, “Don’t yell, Maki. It’s unbecoming!”

“And you call me a hypocrite, Y/N-chan?” Oikawa nudges your side, smiling down at you. 

The feeling he gets when you stick your tongue out at him and dash across the street is familiar, which he’s thankful for. It’s the sort of feeling that makes him smile softly at your retreating figure, a feeling that he’s felt toward you for as long as he can remember. He’s happy for the familiarity of it because it gives him a sense of normalcy that perhaps the thoughts he’s been feeling are familiar thoughts that were probably just jumbled up because of his fatigue. 

That’s what he keeps telling himself anyway. 

Oikawa’s about to run after you when Iwaizumi asks a question from beside him. “Did something happen between you two?”

Oikawa turns to look at his best friend then back to where you’re standing with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. We kissed, he thinks. But Oikawa knows that telling Iwaizumi that might be more trouble than he’s looking for right now because he’ll surely start asking questions that Oikawa can’t even begin to find an answer for. 

“No,” he tries to say in his most convincing voice. “Why?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Y/N just seems sadder today.” His words almost make Oikawa stop midway on the street. He knows that Iwaizumi notices, but instead of calling him out on it, Iwaizumi says, “Probably just because she saw Kaoru-san this morning.”

That’s when Oikawa realizes that the odd tone he heard in your voice earlier was sadness. He isn’t sure why exactly that was and why it was directed towards him. He can’t remember you saying anything out of the ordinary. All your texts to him that morning were of nothing new, and nothing seemed wrong the day before (except for the way that you were equally as quiet as he was during the walk home after your kiss). Surely, it wasn’t because of the stupid baseball player that barely lit a flame next to you.

He doesn’t know what he hates more - the possibility that it was him himself that was the cause of your sadness, or the possibility that you were sad after seeing your ex-boyfriend, which could possibly mean that you might still harbor feelings for him (which, Oikawa decides is something he never wants to think about again because he’s always disliked Kaoru, so he really can’t see why you’d still have feelings for him). Surely, you weren’t still hung up on a boy that you had broken up with? 

That’s what break-ups are for. They’re for when you no longer have love for the other person, or with Oikawa’s history of dating, when you find that the other person’s demanding schedule is something that becomes a wedge. 

It’s odd, but for the first time in their long friendship, Oikawa wants to punch Iwaizumi for making him think so indepthly about it. Instead, he walks quicker. He makes sure that his signature chipper smile is on his lips when he greets Hanamaki and Matsukawa. 

“What do you two have lined up for us today then?”

“We’re hoping that you’ll embarrass yourself with some karaoke, and then we figured we’d look through some of the shops around here. That may or not be because my mother’s birthday is in two days and I have yet to get a present.”

You shake your head at the taller male. “Makki!”

“Don’t Makki me! It’s Mattsun’s fault anyway. Don’t ask me why. It’s just always Mattsun’s fault.”

Matsukawa looks anything but pleased. “One more word out of you and I’m leaving your ass here and you’ll have to ride home by yourself.”

The only response Hanamaki has is a scowl in Matsukawa’s direction. 

By the time you five are seated in a booth, Oikawa feels the most normal he’s felt all day. Hanamaki managed to offend an older lady walking down the street by saying something loudly obnoxious, Iwaizumi yelled at Hanamaki for being so stupid, Matsukawa almost choked on a mint he had taken fron the front desk, and you had accidentally almost broken a vase because you pushed Oikawa a little too roughly. Oikawa would say that all that was pretty normal. 

It’s also normal for Hanamaki to suggest that you and Oikawa sing a duet because despite it all, you two have incredible voices. He used to try and convince Iwaizumi too, but when almost all his pleas were met with rejections, he’d eventually stopped asking. 

But Oikawa doesn’t feel any sort of normalcy when he smiles to himself as you shake your head and begrudgingly accept. He doesn’t feel any sense of normalcy as you take his hand and tug him upwards to the karaoke machine. Instead of the normal carefree environment he usually feels, he’s feeling something brew inside of him because everything he’d just described as feeling abnormal, used to be perfectly normal. 

It irritates him to no end because his feelings don’t feel any different, but at the same time his feelings feel so incredibly foreign that he wishes he could just pause time and just sit down to figure out whatever the hell is going on. 

But he doesn’t have the ability to pause time, and he doesn’t have any time to figure out anything before you start to sing and he feels his breath catch the way it always does. 

He’s always told you that your voice was angelic. He’s been saying it ever since he came over to play at your house when he was 10 years old and he overheard you singing as you doodled on a piece of paper. He’s told you all of this before - how beautiful your voice is, how you’re wasting your talent by not letting others see it. He even remembers begging you to sing him to sleep when he would sleep over at your house after particularly crushing losses. 

What he doesn’t understand is why he’s so very aware of the fact that your voice sounds like it descends from above. Before, the feeling was there like a natural instinct to hearing your singing voice. But now, he’s so very aware. 

It’s because of this thought process that he almost misses his cue to enter. Luckily, he feels a foot kick at his ankle just before he embarasses himself. Oikawa has a gut feeling that it was Iwaizumi who did so. 

Once he starts singing the lyrics, Oikawa has the thought to just murder Hanamaki on the spot because of all the duets he could’ve chosen, he had to choose a love song. 

He keeps his eyes glued to the words flashing on the screen despite having memorized every lyric of this song after singing it multiple times while taking a shower. He tries to ignore your voice and instead focus on the teasing remarks slipping from his teammates’ lips. For a second, he’s successful in doing so. 

But luck doesn’t seem to be on his side tonight. Eventually, you hit a very impressive high note and Oikawa thinks he might just lose his mind because he hears you laugh afterwards and say a breathy “sorry,” that’s so mesmerizing that he turns his head. You’re already smiling up at him in that way that you always smile at him and he can’t help but feel his own lips tug widely upwards. He thinks he imagines how your own smile widens after that. 

After you two finish your duet and Hanamaki is up and belting out all the wrong notes, you nudge Oikawa. “A little off considering how good I can hear you singing it in the shower.”

“Keep your voice down, Y/N-chan. One word out of you and I won’t speak to you for a week,” Oikawa says with the familiar grin on his face. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” you dramatically gasp, which momentarily catches Iwaizumi’s attention. He turns away once he realizes that you were looking at Oikawa and nothing of importance. 

“Oh, but I would.”

“You wouldn’t last a day.”

“Yes I would.”

“You used to cry whenever Iwaizumi or I went on vacation. You’d come whining to me before the day is even over.”

He’s about to retort a reply, but Hanamaki’s return to the table catches both of your attention. “Man, my voice sounds like sandpaper.”

“More like a dying baby bird but I’ll let you think what you want,” Matsukawa snorts from his seat. 

“Mattsun, what did the baby bird ever do to you?”

After a few more rounds of karaoke (in which Matsukawa and Hanamaki serenaded the other and Iwaizumi agreed to sing for the first time in months) you all find yourself at the head of a row of shops that go down a few miles. 

“Do you think my mom would like a necklace? Maybe I’ll buy her a book.”

“Hanamaki, you are aware that we aren’t acquainted with your mother right?”

“Matsukawa is! Mattsun, help me out here.”

“Makki, she’s your mom man.”

After a few more rounds of bickering, Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally decide to just head into the bookstore. You, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa decide to visit the small trinkets store with the twinkling light up sign. 

Oikawa gets the urge to rip his hair out once he sees who the person behind the cashier is. 

“Kaoru! I didn’t know you worked here,” you say entirely too nicely. Oikawa hates how perfect you look at the moment because he’s almost certain that your ex-boyfriend notices it too.

“Ease up, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi says from beside him. 

“I am at ease,” he says, but he can’t even convince himself. 

Iwaizumi snorts and shakes his head. “Sure you are. Unclench your jaw and stop looking at him like you want to stuff him in a bag first, then I’ll believe you.”

Oikawa turns his head to look back to where you’re leaning against the counter. He doesn't miss the way that Kaoru purposefully left his hand idly on the counter so that his fingers come just short of touching your arm. Oikawa feels his annoyance spike when he hears the man in question laugh at something you say. 

After glaring what felt like forever, Oikawa turns back to Iwaizumi, letting out an annoyed huff. “I just don’t understand why he of all people had to be the one working here.”

“The world doesn’t cater to whether or not the person working at a store is going to make you jealous,” Iwaizumi says as he shuffles through a rack of plain-looking hoodies. 

“I’m not jealous!”

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and deadpans at him, raising a brow as a challenge. 

Oikawa looks away from his gaze and crosses his arms. “I’m not,” he grumbles. “I just don’t particularly like his face or his voice or his stupid personality or really anything about him because really what’s there to like? It’s nothing new.”

Oikawa expects a retort or an insult, but to his surprise, Iwaizumi lets out a laugh. 

“What’s so funny?”

Iwaizumi continues to shake his head as he moves to walk down another aisle. Oikawa follows aimlessly behind him. “You’re so, so stupid. I cannot believe you’re one of the best volleyball players I know. There’s no way you’re the same person I play with on the court.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.”

Before Oikawa can question him any further, he hears your voice from somewhere across the shop. You pop your head out from behind a shelf and say, “Hey ‘Kawa! Come here for a second.”

Oikawa looks to Iwaizumi. 

“Go ahead. I’m gonna look through their collection of posters and see if I can find one for the monster movie I watched yesterday.”

When Oikawa gets to the shelf that you’re staring intently at, he’s mildly surprised. You’re crouched down and scrutinizing a row of alien plushies. More specifically, they’re the very same alien plushies that he had hoped to ask you about when he first picked you up from your house.

You grin up at him excitedly and Oikawa wishes he could take a picture. “Look what I found!” Oikawa walks closer and crouches down besides you. You turn to look at him again. “I noticed that you were staring at my earrings a lot tonight, and I know that you absolutely cherish your little alien collection, so I asked Kaoru if they had them as plushies and they did!”

Oikawa feels a warmness bloom in his chest at your excitement. He doesn’t tell you that he wasn’t staring at your earrings. He doesn’t tell you that he was always staring at you.

“You did that for me?”

“Of course I did. We always do things like this, don’t get all sappy now.”

He has the sudden thought to just pull you upwards and crash his lips into yours. He knows that he can’t necessarily do so, so he just stares at you instead and contemplates to himself if it really would be so bad if he just kissed you again right then and there. 

“Is everything okay? Do you not like it? We don’t have to get it if you don’t like it.” The smile falls off your lips, and he can hear that familiar sadness in your voice once again. It sends a spark of pain through him. 

“No!” He yells a little too loudly. “No, of course I love it. Thank you.” He reaches out and clasps his hand over your smaller one. 

You roll your eyes at him, but don’t make any move to push his hand away. “You’re blushing! Don’t blush! You might make me think that you’re in love with me, and we can’t have that can we?”

Oikawa tries to shake his head. He doesn’t point out that there’s a little dusting of red on your own cheeks. 

He only speaks again after you pick an alien off of the shelf and stand up. He stands with you. “I only very mildly like you more than like. None of that in love stuff, don’t worry.”

You elbow him and shoot him a glance. “Don’t steal my lines, Oikawa.” 

You smile as you say it. A simple smile. A smile that has practically been ingrained into his head after so many years of seeing that same smile thrown in his direction. But what scares him is the way that it sends a pleasant feeling to his stomach. 

It’s then that Oikawa realizes that there is indeed something that’s wrong - that there’s something very, very wrong. Something is very wrong because everything he’s feeling at the moment makes him think that maybe, just maybe, he’s the biggest liar in the world for claiming that he wasn’t in love with you.

i know that some people won’t be able to relate to the “angelic singing” part (i most definitely don’t have an angelic singing voice either lol don’t worry) but lets all just pretend that we can all sing ok thanku

#oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #oikawa fluff #oikawa x y/n #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader