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kodzumie-archived · 3 years

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❝YANDERE❞

Synopsis; What they’d be like as yanderes.

Featuring; Kokichi Oma, Mikan Tsumiki, and Nagito Komaeda x GN! Reader

Warning(s); Yandere themes, manipulation, gaslighting, drugging, somnophilia, stalking, nonconsensual photographs, worship, masturbation, and sacrilege. (These are pretty long headcanons/imagines!)

➤ KOKICHI OMA

⤷ To his very core, he’s a cunning, paradoxical individual. Kokichi derives from fantastical ideals; daydreams of a world in which his interest remains piqued.

⤷ He hates boredom, such emotion is merely viewed as unforgivable in his eyes. And he’ll do all that he can to ensure he’s enjoying himself; to ensure he’s entertained.

⤷ So, as to be expected, he’s enamored for all that is able to provide him such recreation. Thus why he began to develop the buddings of interest towards you; you kept him on the tips of his toes, eager with anticipation.

⤷ But he wouldn’t push forth and pursue after the claim of your heart through confession.

⤷ Why? That’d be too boring, of course! Confronting you with an admission of how he feels towards you would be nothing short of monotonous. Much too bland for the tastes of an Ultimate Supreme Leader such as himself.

⤷ And what would be more fascinating other than watching the gradual rupture of the human mind? Especially the mind of the one who held his heart captive.

⤷ Thus the game of cat and mouse had commenced, caging you in the cycle of a game you never wanted to be a part of; all to entertain the one who claims to adore you. But you wouldn’t believe that. Nobody would. He’s a liar, through and through.

⤷ Kokichi is as deceitful as a bat is blind. His sly nature proving to be merely his asset in order to conquer over you as his pawn.

⤷ He’ll wreak his havoc over you. Instinctively, he’ll begin with your mind, toying with all that you believed and knew in order to tug the rug beneath your feet.

⤷ He promises that he truly does love you and cares for you beyond anything else. But with his reputation, it’s nearly criminal to believe the lies that spill from his mouth; you should know this, he doesn’t care for you. It’s lies, lies, lies!

⤷ But Kokichi knows just how you think, an invasion of privacy to the encompass of your thoughts as he plagues every inkling of doubt.

⤷ His behavior towards you differs from the others; from everyone, either of you knows. And you can see it too, he makes sure you’re aware of it.

⤷ He makes sure you’re aware and acknowledges the sheer contrast of tone when conversing with you in favor of others. To you, his words hold a playfulness that’s comparable to being juvenile; boyish.

⤷ If anything, his banter with you could be described as soft. Well, as soft as Kokichi could ever be associated and described as.

⤷ But you’re aware of how the sharp daggers of playful insults are with that of a dull blade, merely a poke in good fun. Yet with others, his words possess an animalistic, carnivorous bite.

⤷ You knew that he sought to submerge himself under the skin of others, irritating them to the point of grit teeth and yanking of their hair, tugging their scalp raw.

⤷ However, you began to believe those weren’t his intentions with you. Dare you say that perhaps Kokichi didn’t view you as the prey to his jabs, but rather as someone he’d prefer to expose his care towards.

⤷ It warmed your heart, these assumptions of yours. And thus you believed them; you believed the wholesome thoughts that the young male truly did enjoy your presence and valued you.

⤷ You believed what brought you the most comfort, and perhaps that was where you were fatally mistaken.

⤷ As soon as the belief that he cared for you had sunk into your mind, he’d escaped your clutches of familiarity without a trace; hardened glares, crude insults.

⤷ Upon the moment you thought you had begun to understand him, he morphs into someone unrecognizable. It was as though you never knew him in the first place; as though you never knew Kokichi.

⤷ And with the hope of finding what you assumed was the Kokichi you knew, you attempted to withstand the cold, blatant detachment of his eyes as they meet your own. You pushed forth the barricade of insults and attempted to reclaim your ideals of Kokichi’s care; to reclaim someone you prayed even existed.

⤷ It was through the hope that you began to notice the inklings of care and acknowledgment seeping through him. It seemed that you’d finally be met with the Kokichi you’ve come to love; the one you’re able to recognize.

⤷ His insults that once pierced and mauled into your heart like the canines of a beast, chewing you apart and tearing you to mere shreds were now an obvious jest; one that attempted to retrieve a giggle from you rather than a sob.

⤷ And at long last, it seemed as though you were able to calm yourself. You’ve retrieved the comfortable attachment you’d acquired from Kokichi, and now you find that there’s nothing to worry about.

⤷ You feel safe; relieved. The title of friendship with the prankster himself wasn’t one you’d ever taken lightly.

⤷ So when he throws you for a loop—a vicious cycle—of indifference and then care, your heart was split relentlessly. The wounds healing only to be torn open, their stitches tugged out as fragments scattered your withered mind.

⤷ To his enjoyment—his sick, twisted delight—your mind was being built up only to be knocked down; familiarizing you with the mind fuck of an attachment he’s forced upon you.

⤷ It was cruel. His malicious intents unbeknownst to you, yet tauntingly clear.

⤷ Kokichi Oma is a liar, through and through. His tongue dipped in the silver coating of falsified hope for his words to stain themselves within.

⤷ But his adoration is an unbreakable truth sketched with the ink of his promises in the fine print. His love for you is real, as is proven by the inscription in contrast to mere words hanging in the air disguised as wishful whispers.

⤷ Though as true as his love is—as true as his devotion to you may be—he wouldn’t dare admit it to you. At least, not the first between both of you.

⤷ Regardless of how far gone down the plundering realm of love he was, he wouldn’t utter the words you crave to have confirmed until you pursue him first. His pride is an angry, green-eyed villain, one that holds his confession hostage at the back of his throat as he toys with you; toys with your mind.

⤷ And as tough as you make yourself to be—head held high with an unfaltering smile resting upon your lips—he’d break you down eventually. The longer he plays, the more interesting your reactions become.

⤷ Your erratic, borderline deranged hysteria at being left behind once more as he provides you nothing more than a cold shoulder is so, so amusing.

⤷ He’s perfectly aware of your desperation as the cycle of his cruel ways repeats once more, just as you’re aware of how you’re on the brink of falling apart if you’re left behind once again.

⤷ So with a long-forgotten pride that’d been swallowed as easily as a pill, you find yourself situated before him, eyes spilling over with tears.

⤷ You beg, and you beg, and you beg. Over and over until the words that fall from your lips hold no other meaning than please don’t leave, not again.

⤷ And with that, he’s satisfied. His patience having been run through the mill as he waited for the eventual breaking of your mentality, enough so to have you on your knees begging for his affections.

⤷ He’s aware of how malicious it is. How toxic he had been to put you through a maddening cycle of love and loss to acquire your sacred words of desperate devotion; your pleas for his returned affections.

⤷ Now he’s sure, so very sure, that you won’t leave him. You simply can’t. You came crawling to him first, you came begging for his love first, you came to him.

⤷ You wanted to be with him first, he never made such advancements. At that very moment, you’d sealed yourself to him, encasing yourself within the mousetrap as Kokichi’s grin held genuine care with the faux silver lining of deceit.

⤷ He’ll be sure to remind you of how easily he could leave you, much like the cycle he’d put you through. He’ll be sure to engrave it within your mind that you mean nothing to him.

⤷ Of course, that’s a lie! But you wouldn’t know that. He wouldn’t let you know that. If you even try to search for the truth within his devotion and adoration, he’ll put you in your place; you begged on your hands and knees for his mutual love, you confessed to him.

⤷ Kokichi Oma is a liar, that much is certain. He’s a cunning and paradoxical individual. His words tethered with insincerity and cutting into whomever he targets.

⤷ Yet there’d be no greater truth to be uttered by him other than that he loved you, he truly loved you.

⤷ But you wouldn’t know that. You wouldn’t know that was the truth amidst the Atlantic sea of his falsehoods, each picking apart at all that you believed was true. All you knew was that Kokichi Oma was a liar, through and through.

➤ MIKAN TSUMIKI

⤷ Her entire existence had been the heart of inconvenience. The world tossed her aside as though her life were nothing but a hassle, her survival proving futile to anyone and everyone; she was alone, and not a soul cared for her.

⤷ Her instincts were derived from being abandoned. In the lifetime of Mikan Tsumiki, abandonment was inevitable. Being left behind is merely the dissonant outcome of trust and interaction.

⤷ And thus, she’s untrusting. As it’s been engraved into her mind, if you are not needed, you will not be wanted.

⤷ It’s been a concept—an idea—that she’s been forced to bear. If others weren’t given a reason to need her, to rely on her, they’d find no use in her. This was the harsh reality Mikan had been forced to instill within her mind.

⤷ Yet, despite the harsh and unforgiving pains of betrayal within her life, she still found herself falling for the fragments of care you provided her.

⤷ Perhaps it was within your nature to be kind; to be someone that surrounded others in the warmth of your presence as you soothed their worries momentarily.

⤷ Mikan wasn’t one to trust easily, but she was one to love. And when she falls into love, she devotes herself with every scrap of her pathetic life she can muster.

⤷ Her heart swells in remembrance of how you appeared upon first meeting her; meek and fragile. Though that was to be expected, you were in the nurse’s office with reasoning, of course. A fever, a rather high one at that.

⤷ With Mikan’s status as the Ultimate Nurse, she took care of you. Providing you with a damp washcloth to regulate your temperature as she shuffled to retrieve your medicine from the cabinet. It was an ordinary occurrence, her daily life as the trusty nurse after all.

⤷ And yet the most peculiar thing had occurred amidst the most ordinary of days. As you lay gasping from the heat your very own body radiated, you still found it within you to meet eyes with Mikan.

⤷ She could tell how difficult it was for you to remain conscious, your body exhausted from attempting to preserve itself, yet you pushed yourself to give her a sincere smile. A passive thank you escaping your lips before an exaggerated sigh followed, and your eyes fluttered shut.

⤷ For a moment, she swore her heart had halted thumping, her breath catching within her throat. Was she hearing things? Had she managed to catch your fever in the few minutes of reach with you and experiencing some sort of hallucination?

⤷ Hundreds, if not, thousands of thoughts and excuses passed her mind before she settled; you had thanked her. Pitifully enough, this had been a first-time occurrence and one that stuck with the young nurse.

⤷ You were sent home that day. Yet your nearly inaudible whisper of gratitude echoed within Mikan’s mind as though it were a blaring alarm signaling for her to wake up.

⤷ But as always, she assumed that as soon as your eyes had shut, your moments together had concluded. She never expected to see you again, much less speak to her, and yet she was sorely mistaken.

⤷ There you stood before her, eyes trained on her own lavender hues. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you spoke, your words barely registering in her mind. Her mind occupied with the realization that you sought her out, you searched for her, you took time out of your day for her.

⤷ She manages to hear the end of yet another thanks, another voiced gratitude towards her as you smile.

⤷ The same smile that forces her to appear akin to a deer gazing at headlights. She was frozen momentarily and struggling to comprehend what’s being told to her.

⤷ Her first instinct was to apologize; to beg for forgiveness. Yet she had no reason to apologize, you’d just thanked her, after all. But it was an instinct and one that consumed her.

⤷ Thankfully, you weren’t looking for words to be sprouted back to you. Instead, you left with the same treasured smile on your lips that you’d blessed her with.

⤷ And with that, Mikan had deemed that the last of your meetings. It was inevitable, no matter the circumstance.

⤷ Life was run on a clock, a timed death sentence as every being awaited their own demise. Nothing was forever, not unless it were in death. And Mikan doubted she’d find someone who’d love her in life, much less even in death.

⤷ Though Mikan, yet again, finds that she is proven wrong. Not that she assumed she was right, anyway.

⤷ But the two of you meet again. This time under circumstances that she had hoped to avoid. It was a common occurrence, almost as common as her being found within the vicinity of a medical center; being picked on.

⤷ This was the closest thing to friendship Mikan had managed to acquire. Hiyoko had always had a sharp tongue, regardless of friendship status, her sharp words would still sear through and pierce into the hearts of whomever she preys upon.

⤷ And fragile, meek little Mikan was a typical victim to these harsh words. Every insult stabbing through her stitched heart, threatening to tear open the wounds once more.

⤷ Mikan was familiar with embarrassing moments. Her clumsy antics landing her in positions she prays to forget. And yet, she’s constantly attracting further embarrassment; much like her own pitiful existence she relentlessly apologizes for; apologizing for existing.

⤷ But having you witness her being torn down by the blonde had been an entirely new tidal wave of embarrassment. You, of all people in the forsaken academy, had seen her in her weakest moments.

⤷ She was familiar with being viewed as weak. She knew, herself, that she was an easy target, one that required minimal effort to instill rue within.

⤷ She was aware of them much like those around her were. Yet she didn’t want you to be aware of this knowledge; of this fact.

⤷ In the moments she’d known you, she had been at her most collected. Assisting you and nurturing you back to health as much as she could. She appeared as strong as she could be; as strong as she could ever be. And all of that strength displayed would mean nothing once you bear witness to how pitifully pathetic she truly is.

⤷ Would you prey upon her as well? Would you seek out her weaknesses and tear into them with your canines as though you inherited an unfathomable, animalistic hunger? Would you hurt her too?

⤷ It was then that her true infatuation had been birthed. Her yearning to love and be loved pulsating within her barren heart in which was deprived of genuine care. She felt the beginnings of a chance, the dispersion of her despair.

⤷ Your abhorrent gaze fixated ahead of you, and to Mikan’s relief, it wasn’t directed towards her. You gazed at Hiyoko with the flames of Hell itself raging in your eyes. Pure, unaltered anger burning a passionate fire.

⤷ It was all akin to a butterfly effect; a chain of events as a result of a singular action.

⤷ Mikan wasn’t sure where the chain had begun, but she understood that the flaps of the butterflies within her stomach weren’t in relation to sickness.

⤷ Of course not, she took excellent care of herself. But regardless, these flutters were delicate; ever-so soft. So much so, she swore they even tickled.

⤷ It was the first bloom of the garden of her potential devotion to you; the garden in which is littered with thorns—poisonous thorns—awaiting to prick at those unfortunate to be subject to her adoration.

⤷ And to your unaware dismay, that poor soul just so happened to be you; the same blissfully oblivious individual assisting the young nurse from her position on the floor after having been kicked by the antagonistic blonde; Hiyoko.

⤷ Much like the first blossoming of her feelings for you, that very moment had been the beginning of your friendship. Hand-in-hand as you walked her back to her house, only separating at your respected stops.

⤷ For every second you held her hand in yours, Mikan’s heart spun all the way to the moon.

⤷ If only you knew what you were doing to her and her poor little heart. If only you knew the nightmare you were brewing for yourself.

⤷ The walks home together soon turned into grabbing a bite together as well. Rather than obligation, it was a decision; one that you indulged in. And Mikan found herself swooning with hedonistic desire, a dangerous swirl of obsession within the cocktail of her love.

⤷ It was times like those that Mikan thanked her ability as the Ultimate Nurse. Having been accustomed to most prescriptions and symptoms, she was relied on by those who found themselves ill.

⤷ Much like you did when you claimed that you’d felt the slightest bit dizzy as the two of you walked home together, sipping on your drinks that Mikan had offered to fetch for you both; reciting your usual order as though it were the lyrics to the popular radio songs.

⤷ She asked you the typical questions, or well, what you assumed was typical. You wouldn’t question the nurse in her own field. You trusted Mikan to know what she was doing, leaning against her as your head grew foggier.

⤷ She had taken you home, assisting you up the stairs with an arm slung around her shoulders. Your breathing slow, nearly inaudible as you suppressed the urge to cave into a deep sleep.

⤷ With delicate care, she managed to tuck you into your bed. She scurries about in your room as you eye her with a fluttering gaze, stars littering your vision.

⤷ It wasn’t long before you’d shut your eyes without another worry. You’d assumed you were merely exhausted, a reasonable explanation. With the amount of testing you’d done that same week as a result of the semester coming to an end, it’s no wonder you’d be so worn out.

⤷ And being in the presence of the young and ever-so-talented nurse, Mikan, you knew you didn’t have anything to worry about. Mikan would take great care of you, without a doubt!

⤷ So when you woke up to find her sitting on the edge of your bed, peering down at you with a smile so soft—so sincere—you swore you couldn’t differentiate if it was the warmth of the blanket or the blush that was overwhelming you.

⤷ Mikan was truly so kind to you, treating you with such care and assuring you that you’d feel A-Okay under her watchful eye.

⤷ Before leaving, she lets you know she’s going to go fetch you some tea. She claims it’ll be easier on you and the herbs will provide you with an organic remedy your cells will be delighted to indulge in; whatever that means.

⤷ Yet as she stands by the door, she turns to you with a gleam in her eyes, one that you should’ve paid closer attention to as she asks you; would you like sugar in your tea?

⤷ You nod your head, signaling to her that you’d prefer having your tea sweetened.

⤷ Laying your head back down onto your pillow, you sigh as you allow yourself to relax once more. Truly submitting yourself to the care of your dear friend, Mikan.

⤷ After all, she only wants to do what’s best for you. She’s the nurse and you’re her patient. Who are you to question what she’s doing?

⤷ Even as Mikan rips open a miniature packet of a granulated white substance—gamma-hydroxybutyrate—a fine powder appearing akin to sugar, but is most definitely not the ladder. Though you shouldn’t bother worrying your little head over it.

⤷ Mikan knows best, Mikan knows best, Mikan knows best, Mikan knows best, Mikan knows best—

⤷ And it’s through blind trust—the very same trust that Mikan had shunned yet you embraced so easily—that you sip the tea Mikan had prepared for you. Merely biting back the scrunching of your features at the odd salty taste with a soapy undertone.

⤷ Mikan had always been a bit clumsy, so surely she must’ve simply mixed grabbing the salt rather than the sugar. Your mind rejecting any assumption that was anything other than that; you trusted Mikan. She wouldn’t do anything to harm you.

⤷ So as your head fogs further, your eyes drooping once more as the world grows darker, Mikan takes your cup from your hands and sets it on your nightstand.

⤷ Your body seems to have a mind of its own as you find yourself unable to move, your consciousness slipping before you could comprehend what’s happening. Though it’s not like you’d even steer your thoughts towards the bitter truth.

⤷ You trusted Mikan, you believed in her and the kindness of her actions, and the sincerity of her care.

⤷ And before fully submerging in the clutches of a deep slumber, you can feel the slender, wistful hands of another cradle your skin, squeezing and familiarizing themself with your figure.

⤷ As your eyes finally fluttered shut, your last sight had been of Mikan—your dear, trusted friend—hovering over you. Her lavender-hued gaze painted over with a sickening lust as her cheeks were flushed. Her visage is that of a crazed, lovesick fool.

⤷ The storm of Mikan’s obsessive love had been brewed. Stirred into a whirlwind of singed rose petals in which blood stains the thorn of the torn flowers from within her garden of despair; her heart torn to shreds only to be stitched together once more.

⤷ You, her beloved, are caging within the brambles of her desire. As her lips ghost over your unconscious form, suckling on your plush skin that she fawns over with such feverish admiration.

⤷ Her hands wander, and they wander, and they wander; she can’t get enough of you. She’ll never get enough of you. She’s truly a fool, disillusioned by the possibilities—the hope—love provides.

⤷ She’ll take all she can get. She’ll take every ounce of affection you have to offer. Her grasp clinging onto your body, stealing what unexplored regions you have to offer. Her yearning pushing her to take more; to steal all that she can, in the name of your love.

⤷ But it’s alright. After all, you won’t remember a thing once you awaken. And she can do it again, and again, and again.

➤ NAGITO KOMAEDA

⤷ In his love-stricken eye, you were ethereal. A beam of absolute hope, relinquishing despair and paving a path for the greater good. In his eyes, you were more than his hope; you were his god.

⤷ He hailed your every word; your every step; your every notion. Anything you do or say, he follows with every bit of his culminated devotion.

⤷ He saunters behind your lead, his head dazed with the true belief in the words that leave your mouth. You were never wrong. You were flawless in every form imaginable. You were perfection personified.

⤷ His devotion spiraled from your overwhelming optimism. Your positive energy seeping into the heart of others, as seen within their visage.

⤷ You were the embodiment of true hope, his one, and only. You were his beacon of light shining towards a better tomorrow.

⤷ And he swore there wouldn’t be a day in his miserable, worthless life that he wouldn’t cherish your very existence.

⤷ He swarmed his lifestyle with you, you, you! His fixation manifesting through his every action and train of thought. Anything he did, he did it for you.

⤷ So when he began observing you from afar, eyeing you as you go about your daily life, he swore up and down it was for you. To truly invest in you; his hope—no. His god.

⤷ You didn’t notice his presence lurking behind you at almost all hours. But, of course, you wouldn’t! He wouldn’t dare hope for someone of your elite status to pay heed to mere scum like him; like everyone around you.

⤷ Nagito was as self-loathful as he was jealous. Though he wouldn’t dub such turmoil as jealousy. Someone as lowly as him had no right to be jealous. You’d never associate with someone whose worth is that of garbage.

⤷ No, no. You’re better than that. You’re deserving of far more than that. You were a deity. You reigned over filthy nobodies much like him, casting hope upon everyone no matter how meaningless their existence may be.

⤷ So it was only natural he’d feel such a searing, blazing burst of repugnance at the audacity of people. The audacity of society. To see the way strangers so easily conversed with you, so carelessly interacting with you.

⤷ Were they not aware of your ethereal mien? Were they not aware of who they were speaking to?

⤷ Nagito found it nauseate. Witnessing so many nugatory nobodies engaging with you yet holding no regard to just how valuable you are; to your aristocracy.

⤷ Truthfully, he thought of it as a miracle that you would speak to those so invaluable. But that’s what pulled him—like a magnetic pole—to be enamored by you.

⤷ You were so hopeful. You sought the beauty of everything and everyone your treasured gaze laid upon. You discovered hope within the most purposeless of entities, and he could only fantasize the hope your beloved eyes would seek out within him.

⤷ But he merely dreams of such a thing. Never would he dare pollute your valuable time and existence with the thought of his irrelevant self. He was nothing, and he sure as hell was below even a nobody to you.

⤷ So he watched, and he watched, and he watched your every move. His ghostly green hues trained on your form, from any and all angles.

⤷ Anywhere you were, he was as well. Trailing behind you was as common as your very own shadow. He promised he’d follow you to the ends of the Earth. If his hope would allow, he’d do anything and everything to pursue complete allegiance.

⤷ He sought to appreciate and worship the entirety of your existence. For as long as you lived, he hoped—oh, how beautiful hope is to allow him to dedicate his life to you—he’d treasure you entirely.

⤷ His days spent following behind you, avoiding being seen by the public eye, or rather your eye, had soon evolved into beyond that of just following.

⤷ Much to Nagito’s dismay, he harbored fragments of bitter selfishness. Atrocious, it truly was. How could someone as lowly—as much of a scum as him—possibly writhe in selfishness?

⤷ He was already undeserving of being within your shadow, following you home. Yet he still had the shameless desire to yearn for more. Sickening; he could only be further disgusted by his miserable existence.

⤷ But he couldn’t help himself. Someone as faultless as you was meant to be obsessed over, right?

⤷ And thus, he began to take pictures. Photographs of his beloved hope—his god—saved within his phone.

⤷ At first, he was shaken beyond his own comprehension of the impudence to take a photograph of you, especially with photography skills as shameful as his. But still, much as he expected, even through his worthlessness you had shone; you looked absolutely beautiful in each and every shot.

⤷ His collection of photos only increased with each passing second. Soon enough, his fingers instinctively curled to the dimensions of his phone, readily waiting to snap a picture of your radiance.

⤷ It took a singular day to accumulate one hundred photos, and after a week he’d managed to possess well over seven hundred photos of you; of his beloved god.

⤷ Not a single photo was scrapped. Each of them equally cherished and mounted upon his wall with the use of tape. The walls of his bedroom soon filling with pictures of you, you, you!

⤷ And he wouldn’t have it any other way. As he laid atop his bed, his eyes would trail towards the pictures on his wall.

⤷ One was of you leaving your home to begin your walk towards the academy he was blessed to enroll in along with you. Your uniform ironed and peppered with your fragrance that Nagito dreamed to be drowned in.

⤷ Another was of you changing in the locker room. Of course, it was rather difficult to acquire the photograph due to the mirrors and the risks of being caught if you managed to catch sight of his reflection as he took a snap of you. But, thankfully, his luck had been on his side that day.

⤷ And his personal favorite, a photo taken from outside your bedroom window through the miniature crack that your curtain provided. It was an odd angle, but Nagito didn’t mind it. After all, the view it provided was one worth a million; beyond the worth of his unworthy life.

⤷ It was a photo of you seated atop your bed. The hem of your tee tucked between your lips as it allowed the exposure of your delicate chest and abdomen.

⤷ Nagito’s eyes were trained upon your exposed skin. Every inch blessed his eyes with a euphoria he knew no bounds of, his chest swelling with rapture at the sight of your body; a figure so holy.

⤷ But his eyes didn’t remain on your chest for long, instead deciding to flicker down to where your left hand squirmed.

⤷ Nagito swallowed the lump in his throat at the sight, his eyes darkening with the sheen of lust as his gaze remained trained on where your hand sunk onto, your sweats pulled down to your thighs.

⤷ There you were, in all your glory, pleasuring yourself. From behind the glass of your window, he could hear the muffled noises of your pants and moans. Whispers of whiny wants as you strive towards your climax.

⤷ The view was one that would forever be engrained into Nagito’s mind. Of all memories he’s acquired in his life, he wouldn’t dare allow himself to forget this one.

⤷ Nagito could only watch as his darling hope—his god—pleasured themself by their very own hands.

⤷ Drool collected within his mouth, seeping through the corner of his lips as his pants strained. The erotic yet maddeningly hypnotizing sight of you committing such a lewd deed brought him heeps of pleasure, and he hadn’t even been touched.

⤷ Despite his practically animalistic craving, he wouldn’t allow himself to wander into his own, tainted imagination. He wouldn’t allow himself to imagine his own dirty, grimy fingers touching your plush skin. He wouldn’t allow himself to imagine his forgettable, horrendous name being moaned from your lips.

⤷ No, he wouldn’t. He’d take what he had been blessed with wholeheartedly, and that was the sight he was given the grace to see. All that matters is that of all odds, he was there at that very moment and witnessing the treasured sight of a lifetime.

⤷ The same sight that was now on his wall in the form of a photograph. Though that wasn’t the only one of that sacred, divine night.

⤷ In the span of the fifteen minutes you’d spent, touching yourself and blubbering out pleas for more pleasure—more exquisite delight—Nagito managed to acquire two hundred sixty-three photos. Each of them stashed within the shoebox beneath his bed.

⤷ His admiration for you had caused him to plunder into an abyss of inexplainable hope. He constantly yearned, constantly strived, and relentlessly hoped to achieve.

⤷ He continued to hope yet he was unaware of what for. Had he been hoping to be noticed by you? By his beloved hope that had no business meddling with scum like him? Or had he hoped to truly achieve absolute devotion to you within his minuscule lifetime?

⤷ Nagito was blissfully unaware as he allowed himself to drown in the hope you radiated, unaware of his worthless existence basking within it.

⤷ Perhaps he’ll never truly decipher what he had hoped for. But for as long as he lived, he’d dedicate himself entirely to you; to your ethereal entity. He’ll continue to trail in the encompass of your shadow until his dying breath.

⤷ Nagito Komaeda devoted himself to you; to your hope; to your words; to your actions. He committed to your very existence, following the belief in you; his god.

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nancydfan · 3 years

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I think that Mia gets too bad of a rap from a lot of people.

Like yes, was she an agent of a super shady organization responsible for making a bio weapon that destroyed a great deal of lives? Yes. However we don’t know her motivation for joining them yet.

They could have lied honestly. Like The Connections could have advertised themselves to be a great, loving work environment and maybe Mia was young and naive and joined them. Or maybe she was desperate for money, and it was the only job that would hire her. Or hell, maybe she fully knew what they were and joined anyway, either on account of her morals being twisted back then or thinking that even though the company was evil maybe she could do good. Who knows, honestly.

Either way, with The Connections being a shady organization there’s like a very high chance that you don’t get to walk away from them alive. I’m sure if you quit they’d see you as a liability and take you out with no mercy. And that’s why I think Mia didn’t leave, because she knew she would be killed if she did, and maybe that’s why she took the job with Eveline, because it was more of a “you will do this or else” than an option for her (whether it was implied by her boss or if they were upfront about what bad things would happen if she didn’t take the job).

And maybe if her morals were twisted before I fully think meeting and falling in love with Ethan changed her if that was the case, because the Mia we see in RE7 and RE8 is a good person. We see that in how when the Baker’s rescue her she thanks them but tries to leave immediately and tries to warn them about staying away from Eveline (as shown in the note she left in the dlc “Daughters”). She could have tried to get them to call the hospital or her company but she didn’t, because she knew that she was under Eveline’s control and the longer she stayed there the more danger the family was. If she was a shitty person she wouldn’t have done this, she would have done everything she could to save herself.

We also see that in how she leaves a final video note for Ethan, telling him to stay away no matter what, because she didn’t want him to get dragged down in her mess. She knows how much Ethan loves her and I’m sure she knows if she sent a video saying “Ethan pls help” he’d come running for her, but she didn’t because she loves him and wants him to live even if she can’t be there with him. We see it AGAIN when she saves Ethan from Eveline’s grasp, when she tears him from the mold thing he was in and pushes him out so Eveline couldn’t hurt him. Fully knowing she’d have to face Eveline’s wrath.

And for everyone saying “why didn’t she just tell him then” I mean think about it. I think if this super shady organization found out someone they didn’t hire knew what was going on they’d kill them because again they’d be a liability and a threat. And that’s why she doesn’t tell Ethan because she doesn’t want him to be targeted and killed by them. I think if she had the opportunity she would have left The Connections but knows that it would result in her death anyway, and telling Ethan the truth would just end in his death if they found out and it was too risky in her mind.

And I think it’s this same form of protection that prevents her from telling Ethan he’s infected. She says (or at least we can assume that this was her) in Donna’s section that she didn’t tell him because she was afraid she’d lose him. I don’t think he’d divorce her if he found out he was molded (that doesn’t really make sense for his character), I think she was genuinely afraid he’d die (again) or worse begin to transform into a monster the way the rest of the infected did. And that’s why she keeps it hidden because she was scared to death he’d die or suffer a worse fate. Am I saying she was right in hiding it? No, but I think that everyone saying she’s manipulative and gaslighting are wrong because she truly loves Ethan and Rose, and I know she’d give her life gladly if it meant they could live.

I saw other people get mad because Rose is essentially being used as a bio weapon and how could Mia let this happen and I’m like?? She probably doesn’t have a say?? I mean yes Blue Umbrella is supposed to be “the good guys” now but like they’re still a huge organization, I’m sure Mia did her best to prevent this from happening and keep Rose safe but like at the end of the day what can she really do against a huge company?? If anything get mad at Chris because I’m sure he’s got some clout or something in that company that could have allowed Rose to live a normal life without Umbrella or maybe not being used as a weapon but idk ��🏻‍��️ a lot of people were like “Mia’s sO annoying at the beginning of the game” but fam that wasn’t even her?? That’s Miranda?? Besides even if it was Mia that blew up on Ethan in the hospital (as per Ethan’s diary) 1.) people deal with trauma differently, and I’m not saying it’s healthy but she’s scarred and doing her best and 2.) probably was afraid if they talked too much about Louisiana Ethan would realize he was infected and then BAM he’s either dead or a mutated monster. And in the cutscene of Mia saying “you matter!” Can you imagine the stress of knowing your husband is Mr Mold Man and not being able to do anything about it, out of fear of what could happen to him? Like of course she’s upset and going to blow when provoked (not that Ethan was aggressive or anything just that he was prying into a very high pressure soda that is Mia’s emotions lol) because she’s been bottling this up and has no one to talk to, and after a while anyone would explode. I think she would have told him if he hadn’t answered that call. Also marriage is not rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you get into messy fights with your partner and sometimes you or the other person say things you don’t mean but at the end of the day you love each other and try to be better. If anything Capcom was depicting a normal marriage tbh.

At the end of the day Mia is not the bad guy. She is only human who tried her best to keep her family safe against all the odds and idc what anyone says, Ethan and Mia love each other and have a healthy relationship and that’s that.

I hope I do this ask justice cause this is the kinda ask I’ve been like hoping for cause you are absolutely gosh damn right.

I’m a chill person & I’m never gonna probably get up into someone’s face about anything cause it’s fandom. I’m not here to cater your experience. That being said, when I see some of these frankly bad takes on Mia I’m like

We know Jack shit about why Mia joined the Connections. Literally nothing so people who have a whole solidified nasty opinion of Mia should probably just sit down. You don’t have to like her. But you also could like, idk, be absolutely dead wrong cause lol Capcom went, yeah we’re not gonna explain any of that.

I got the impression that in between re7 and re8 that they are hiding from the connections too but I may have misunderstood that In re8. I think it makes sense it’s the type of organization you do not leave. No matter how badly you want to and once Ethan came along, do people really think she’d risk him? Spoiler alert: no, no she wouldn’t.

Also, re7 started w Alan. He’s the one that let eveline get out of control so...I feel like people forget that.

I’ve been talking to a friend about people using the Miranda Mia against the real Mia and I don’t know how to kindly tell people that the game kinda absolutely explained that’s not Mia? I do think Mias got a temper which makes sense because Ethan is so even tempered that he can balance her out better. But Miranda Mia was a fuckin bitch. She was needling Ethan’s pain and mocking him. Do people think Ethan sat around for three years taking that? Ethan’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. He was even fighting back w Miranda Mia so manipulative and abusive takes belong in the toilet w the rest of the shit.

Mia blowing up at Ethan means nothing. My parents have proven to me marriage is not easy. You will lose it on people when emotions run high. It happens. There’s a world of difference between a moment of anger versus abuse. But you still love and forgive people for moments of anger because we all have them. And I’m sure Ethan can be just as much as a pain in the ass. I love him more than most and I’d be the first person to admit I’m sure he didn’t make it easy all the time either.

Mia held the truth from Ethan because she was scared not just for her but for him too. It’s a selfless kind of lie. We all do them so I don’t know why Mia is getting burned at the stake for it. I’m just not movable on this. That was a heavy thing to carry and she was doing her best.

As for Rose, I don’t even know what Capcom is doing. How can anyone else know? She’s special and powerful. Maybe she wanted that life? I think we can reserve judgement until re9.

Like I said above, no one has to like Mia. Maybe you don’t vibe w her or maybe you still just don’t care for her. That’s cool. But my gosh don’t lie about the kind of person she is. If you can’t acknowledge her world and heart belongs to Ethan and Rose, I’m just not sure what to tell you.

Sorry for ranting on your ask nonnie 😆 I really appreciate that you sent this in! It needed said imo

#thanks for the ask nonnie!!#resident evil #ethan winters #mia winters #mithan #resident evil spoilers #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #mrs joe speaks #long post

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itsmeevie01 · 3 years

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Before A Moment in Time

ok! this is a LOT of information, but i wanted to make it easier to understand whats going on in my head when i write over the next bit!

MASTERPOST

this is Before A Moment in Time. Enjoy!

Three years before A Moment in Time. One year after Hawkmoth appeared.

Marinette Dupain Cheng is sitting at her desk. Second row back left side. Making her way up the stairs is her friend Alya Césaire. The two girls have been practically inseparable for the last year.

Fuming one row down on the other side of the aisle is Chloé Bourgeoise. Her eyes are glued to where Marinette is smiling at Alya. Nino Lahiffe is sitting in front of Marinette. His headphones are on, and his hand is moving over a sheet of paper that has a music staff on it.

Adrien Agreste can be seen bounding up the stairs, his eyes alight with the joy of going to school, even a year after he started. Behind Marinette and Alya are Rose and Juleka. Across from them are Ivan and Nathaniel. Behind the boys are Alix and Kim, who are across from Mylene and Sabrina.

Max is sitting behind the two girls by himself. In the empty seat next to him, the tech genius has a computer running through a code that he is trying to double-check.

As their classmates greet each other during the first day of school, Madam Bustier can be seen enter into the room, one Lila Rossi walking behind her curiously.

As Bustier called the class to attention, Marinette shared one more smile with Alya before spinning around. When she was facing the front, the teen blinked.

Standing there was a girl who looked vaguely familiar. It took the teen a moment before she realized that this was Lila Rossi. This was the girl who had been sued by both Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale. This was a gold digger that they had warned her about.

Chloé must have made the same connection because Marinette’s phone started to blow up.

Mariii + Chlo

Chlo- OH HELL NO

Chlo- M this chit cannot sit with me

Chlo- Dad sued her over the summer

Chlo- MARINETE

Mariii- Chlo

Mariii- hey chill

Mariii- I got this. If you can sit with Alya.

Chlo- anything

Chlo- MY WONDERFUL NONCOFFEE DEALER KEEP ME AWAY FROM THE FUCKING DEVIL

Mariii- on it, queenie

Marinette looked up as the bell rang. Alya gave her a concerned look. With a smile, the younger girl bumped her friend’s shoulder. “Hey, Als, since I’m class president, I think it would be best if I welcome the new girl. Could you go sit with Chloé today? I promise that we can go back to normal once we get her settled.” Alya flashed her friend a smile before giving the girl a side hug.

“of course, Mari! You have such a big heart!” the girls traded smiles before Alya packed her stuff up and moved to sit with the haughty blonde. The noirette saw her teacher give her an approving smile for diffusing the situation so easily, without conflict.

Inwardly, Marinette scoffed. Outwardly, the girl gave her teacher a glowing smile in return.

Marinette truly tried to be nice to Lila. Really, she did. Early on, the girl had learned that being nice was a better route when interacting with people who she didn’t know. Even if it was just a small smile, the noirette had always found success from kindness.

Lila was a sweet girl who had batted her eyes at her and given Marinette a small smile. The two had spent the first period of school passing notes and getting to know each other.

In all honesty, Marinette had no idea why the Italian girl next to her was branded a manipulative liar in her world. Then, during the break, Marinette saw what was going on.

When the rest of the class gathered to introduce themselves, Lila panicked. Then, Lila shifted her posture just slightly. She smiled a blinding smile that stood out to Marinette as obviously fake. She started interacting with the class, sickly sweet and subtly guiding them to beliefs.

Shaking her head, Marinette turned away. She had time during her break to call a certain someone. She needed more answers.

“Clara! Hey… do you have a moment?” through the phone, Clara Nightingale, giggled.

“Of course, Marinette! What is going on with my favorite little cousin? Is everything ok?” the young teen hesitated, before shaking her head.

“I need you to tell me more about Lila Rossi” the dark look that crossed the singer’s face confirmed many of Marinette’s worries.

When she sat down next to Chloé in the hotel restaurant for lunch, a look of pure disgust was dancing on her face. “this girl has filled a level of malice that I have never heard of. Chloé, she has manipulated every person of interest under the sun who doesn’t have the common sense to not listen to her bull shit. Chlo…this girl is vile. Clara told me what they had to do to sue her. One of the requirements of Lila not going to prison for a long time was getting a psych eval. Chloé…this girl is only fifteen! This is insane...” Chloé raised an eyebrow, surprised.

“Today it looked like you two were good friends. Or on the way there at least.” The noirette shook her head in disgust.

“she has some good traits, but as soon as she gets in front of the crowd…she abandons everything for power. I can't trust her, but it seems that she is under multiple restraining orders. I get the feeling that as long as we stay out of her webs, we should be fine. Jagged texted though. He said that Lila can be vicious if she is provoked.” Here, Marinette looked Chloé dead in the eye. “do not cause trouble. I don’t want you to have to go toe to toe with her, Chloé.”

Six months later.

Marinette is settled at her desk, the swivel chair reclined as she looked at the Blonde who was in her room, grinning.

“did she really ask you out?” Chloé’s excitement paired with her nosiness was making Marinette steadily turn Lady Tyche red. Turning back to her desk, Marinette tried to hide her flaming face.

“she asked me if I wanted to go out…like a date…before my birthday.” The noirette tugged slightly on her hair. Her anxiety that had been manifesting more and more at school was not helping her now. “I told Aurore yes. We haven’t set a date yet, but it’ll be soon.” Chloé raised an eyebrow.

“are you two going on your first date on Valentine’s day? Because Mari…I refuse to be best friends with someone so cliché.” The girl flamed a darker red if that was possible.

“I really like her Chlo. But…no. she asked about the 14th. I told her that I was going to spend time with my parents that day. Plus,” here, Marinette turned back to her friend with a Cheshire cat grin. “We,” She gestured between her best friend and herself, “have a standing date. we have for the last three years. Why would I break a pact we made when we were ten, over a girl I haven’t gone on one date with yet?” Chloé’s face broke into a matching grin.

“oh, hell yea. Then, I guess I could help you get ready for that first date of yours…” the friends broke down into giggles and started debating the merits of each of the outfits the young designer had in mind.

That night on patrol, Lady Tyche alighted on the roof of one of the local lycées.

Her blonde hair whipped in the wind that had been howling all afternoon. Across the streets, the spotted hero was able to see a pair of blue luminous eyes. Using her yoyo to pull herself over the street, the girl smiled at the younger miraculous wielder.

When her red boots hit the roof, Apate handed the girl an unmarked bag. Inside was a pastry and a hot chocolate. Both girls knew they were in for a long night.

Apate stood noiselessly and moved to the edge of the roof. As she stood there, profiled against the ridgeline, Lady Tyche smiled to herself. Her partner could be as vicious as she wanted when they were fighting Akumas, but the girl who stood in front of her was very kind.

The Cat vigilante, as she insisted she was no hero, had a pair of ears on her head.

They were flicking to and fro while she listened to the night below. Her hands were resting on her hips, one hand toying with the baton that was usually kept in a holster on her leg. The girl’s other hand was fiddling with a ring she had slid off her finger. The skintight black pants blended into the night. The black top she was wearing also seemed to disappear when Lady Tyche wasn’t looking for her partner.

Even now, with Apate being backlit by the city lights around them, the Tyche was the more visible of the two.

“She’s coming.” Apate’s voice broke her partner out of her thoughts. “Let’s hope tonight goes the way we want it to. Otherwise, we could be royally screwed.” The Hero nodded in agreement.

“I trust Alya. She has been a good fit for Trixx so far.” Apate hmmed in response.

“I fear that our…favorite Italian…may be too close to her. I don’t our fox’s head full of lies and manipulations if I can help it at all.” Lady Tyche winced. She had heard all about Lila’s renewed attack on the allegiances of the class that her crush was in. the past few weeks had not been pretty.

“No! That’s…you told Lila that I was going to be your first partner! Why did you lie to both me and your best friend! Everyone knows that Lady Tyche can’t do this alone anymore! She NEEDS Miss Vixen!” Lady Tyche closed her eyes and Alya’s rant ended with a yell. The anger simmering on the reporter’s face was worrying the hero.

“Alya. I have not told anyone about you. A few people have seen you training and on patrols. You ran the ‘exclusive’,” the disdain in Lady Tyche’s voice had Alya wincing. “but no one has confirmed anything. There is a good reason. The hope,” here, the Blonde teen’s voice turned cutting, “was that you could work in the shadows. There is only one visible member of this team, but I have never been alone. Tonight, and this attitude. Well, Alya, it has proven that you are not ready to be a holder of the miracle stones.”

The ladybug holder looked over to the roof next to where she and the trainee had been standing. There, in the shadows, were a pair of blue eyes. “go ahead, Apate. Wipe her memory of all of this.”

Seven months after Alya’s Miraculous is taken away. Two years after Hawkmoth started. Two years before A Moment in Time.

Aurore smiled at the girl holding her hand.

The two were walking home from their first day of Lycée. Aurore’s blonde hair fell around her shoulders as she turned to look at Marinette.

The 14-year-old, a certified genius, was glowing at the excitement that their first day of school had brought. Although she no longer was friends with Alya, there were no real hard feelings. The rift between the former classmates had made it easier to integrate Marinette and Aurore’s social circles. Claude, Allen, Chloé, Aurore, Mireille, Nino, Kim, Kagami, Felix.

Their group was full of laughter and life. They spent most of their weekends together, even over the summer. To everyone else, the group was the picture-perfect group of teens. Inseparable for life. Aurore had loved it for so long, had loved watching her girlfriend grow. Tonight, however, she had a feeling that the last half-year was going to be left in the past.

She and Marinette needed to have a talk.

Chloé held her best friend as the girl cried.

The two had been sitting on the floor of the heiress’s hotel suit for the last hour and a half. When the small girl had shown up, wearing an old pair of Chloé’s sweats that had disappeared years ago, sniffling into the sleeves of the hoodie she was swamped in, the older girl’s big sister senses had gone off.

Now, as her friend started to calm down, Chloé shoved a pile of clothes at her friend.

“put these on, we are leaving.” Marinette glanced at her friend in confusion, before taking the clothes and slowly changing into the skinny jeans and loose grey top. A moment later, a green corduroy jacket was being flung at her by the blonde 16-year-old who had changed as well.

Quickly catching the jacket and sliding on the matching converse that Chloé had given her, Marinette stood to join her friend. Chloé picked up her purse and looked over the two.

While she had given her best friend a simple outfit that be comfortable for the train ride that her friend didn’t know was coming, Chloé had taken a minute longer before deciding to match her friend. Her jeans were light wash as opposed to dark, and she wore a fitted white t-shirt with a cartoon spider hiding in a red chrysanthemum. The red corduroy jacket was the same color as both the embroidery and her own red converse.

“Let's go, Minette. We are going to the country house. You can truly cry there. Horses await.”

After Marinette and Aurore broke it off, the friends drifted apart. Kagami, Felix, Nino, and Kim refused to let the others blame the split on Marinette. Mireille, Claude, and Allen claimed that Marinette was more likely to be the cause. They couldn’t imagine Aurore doing anything to hurt the teen.

Chloé, Aurore, and Marinette kept their mouths shut over the whole debacle.

Chloé hadn’t heard the whole story, but she knew that Aurore had hurt her friend, and it had led to a discussion that led to the girls both walking away in tears.

It would only be years later that the girls would reveal that they had broken up because of the confusion around their secret identities.

A week after the fateful breakup, Adrien Agreste pulled Marinette off to the side after class.

“Adrien are you ok?” the girl asked, confused. while usually, the two didn’t interact, Marinette had noticed that all day Adrien had been pale and shaking.

“I need help Marinette. Usually, I would go to Chloé, but last time she almost got Akumatized and I just…I need help. Please.”

“what’s up?” he glanced over his shoulder, to where a group of their classmates stood gathered around Lila.

“Not here, she can't know.” Marinette blinked in shock before grabbing the model lightly on the arm. After glancing at him with a raised eyebrow, silently asking if it was ok to hold onto his arm, she took off through the halls.

By the time the two had made it to the home of one Gina Dupain just outside of what Marinette knew to be Hawkmoths reach, the blonde was bewildered. “you know the city so well. How?” she giggled slightly at the older boy before leading him to the kitchen and dropping her bag on one of the breakfast seats.

“I get stir crazy and spend a lot of my time exploring the city. Alix and I go and do Graffiti on the weekends sometimes. That means I’m pretty good at evading sight when I don’t want to be seen.” While her statements were technically true, Marinette had also left out a great deal of information in her response.

She had spent most of her time exploring the city as Apate. She grew up on the streets and would forever feel comfortable slipping into the shadows. She did go out with Alix to do graffiti, but the two also spent a good amount of time jumping into burrows to fix world-ending events.

“now, Adrien, what is going on? If it's bad enough that you don’t want Chloé upset, I expect it to be worth the trip out of the Akuma line.” Adrien nodded nervously, before going into an explanation of what had been happening in the Agreste family home.

Three years into Hawkmoth’s reign. Marinette’s 2nd year at Lycée

Adrien spent as much time as possible with Chloe and Marinette.

He had shown up more than once during their girls’ nights. Now, he was expected to be there.

When they had left for the weekend, Adrien had disappeared from the Agreste Manor. When had reappeared in time to get in the car that Monday, he learned that the only person who had noticed he was gone was his bodyguard. The man had called him, before joining the teens on the outing.

While the friends were getting Adrien out from his father’s thumb, Marinette was launching her brand.

She had a discussion during the branding process because the symbol that she had chosen, a chrysanthemum, was incredibly complex. Her grandmother thought it was too much. Marinette had told the older woman that she was going to use the flower because that was the one with meaning to her. She spent three weeks fending off the woman, who sent her a different flower every day, until the girl told the woman that she wasn’t going to change her mind.

Her Grandmother, her Nona, had laughed and told her that she was very stubborn, but that this time it had worked in her favor. The teen had come home that evening to a leather Jacket lying on her bed, with her named arching over the back where a chrysanthemum was embroidered in full bloom.

At the same time that Marinette was officially launching her brand and Adrien was embracing his teen rebellion, Chloé was becoming an influencer on social media. On any day that she wasn’t spending time with her friends, the blonde was working to cultivate her social media image. At 17, she started to model on the side. When she was gone, her friends would get calls during every free moment she had.

Fourth-year of Hawkmoth's Reign.

The three were friends with the other outcasts from their college class.

Kim and Nino were often seen with Marinette when she was out on a shopping spree or seeking inspiration.

Alix and Marinette were close, and after she became guardian at 14, Marinette had given the Pinkett and crash course on the miraculous, since she had inherited one. The two would always be fond of jumping through time and space to face world-ending events.

Kagami had insisted that Adrien and his cousin Felix make up, and now the three were a force to be reckoned with. As they entered their last year of Lycée, the friends felt like they were on top of the world.

There had been a project due that morning that Marinette had forgotten about until the night before.

She had been up all night and had gone through three different super coffees. She had been running late when she burst out the door of the apartment.

There was a mug of coffee that was clutched in her hands, and she wasn’t looking where she was going. The guy that she collided with looked how she felt.

While he was in a suit, they were both clutching coffee mugs that they had moved out of the way on instinct before throwing apologies over their shoulder and going on with their days.

Neither thought anything of it. They had other things to worry about.

Tim Drake and Marinette Dupain Cheng had no idea that their lives had changed permanently with that one interaction that had lasted less than a minute.

AND...3000+ words later, here we are! let me know if yall have any questions.

I wanted to get this out sooner rather than later so that I can start to build with other characters now. I had a lot of fun writing the backstory, and I have thrown Cannon out the window...obviously lol.

tag list!

@moonlitceleste @redscarlet95 @ultimatetornshipper @mochegato @liquid-luck-00 @maskedpainter @trippingovermyfeet @nathleigh @susiej1118 @t1dwarrior-of-earth @sassakitty @remy-289 @laurcad123 @iamabrownfox @m0chick0furan

#a moment in time fic #Bi!Marinette #mlb #miraculous ladybug #cat!Marinette #cannon? what is that?#pre-maribat #maribat

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chat-noir-always-here · 4 years

Text

Debunking “Adrien is perfect”

To voice a rather non-Marinette-like opinion of Adrien: He’s not perfect. He’s never been perfect. He has, in fact, been riddled with flaws from the very beginning. Part of the reason Chat Noir gets hate is because he serves to exaggerate Adrien’s flaws and make them more obvious, destroying the perfectionism façade. And the sooner Marinette tosses the “I love the perfect Adrien” filter in the trash where it belongs, and starts actively recognizing and acknowledging his faults, the better off the endgame relationship will be.

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts, cuz i’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of texts like these.

First of all, flaws are just one of the many things that happen when someone either learns something the wrong way, spends too much time in the wrong environment, lack any decent role models... really there are a plethora of causes. What i mean is character shortcomings aren’t necessarily reasons to hate the character themselves. They’re more or less internal obstacles put there to be overcome in order to portray character growth. Of course spending an exaggerated amount of time with these characters without seeing them overcome particular shortcomings is frustrating it does not necessarily mean they will never be redeemed or developed and are/were deserving of hate.

Except for Gabriel. That creature belongs behind bars.

Most of Adrien’s flaws come from his toxic home situation:

The Miraculous Wiki puts Adrien at fifteen. Meaning Adrien has only been actively leaving the house (for public school and the occasional social get-together) for about a year. His fourteenth birthday was one of the earliest episodes and im assuming his fifteenth birthday happened off screen between the s3 finale and the new york special.

Regardless the majority of his life was spent in isolation and his only company was his immediate family, Nathalie, Felix and Chloe. None of whom are particularly good role models except for Emilie. Maybe.

He’s rather overworked for a 14 y.o. boy. On top of school, he has fencing, piano and Chinese lessons. This leaves him with very little time for himself.

He lost his mother. In Feast, Adrien expresses Emilie was a source of joy in his life--”Only Mom can make me laugh like that.” Felix marked the one year anniversary of her disappearance. Worse still, we’re led to assume all Adrien knows is that Emilie disappeared. Did she abandon him? Was she kidnapped and killed? He doesn’t know. He has no closure regarding her absence.

On top of losing his mother, his only remaining parent is an emotionally manipulative and abusive prick. Gabriel has denied Adrien a birthday party, threatened to take Adrien out of school just because he can, never lets him have friends over for any reason, hardly ever makes time for Adrien and only once in a blue moon will actually sit and eat a meal with the poor kid.

And on top of all of this he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s still living with his abusive father. He’s still not allowed to see his friends outside of school much. He’s still got a packed schedule. He still doesn’t have closure regarding his mother’s “disappearance.”

Looking at it like this paints Adrien in a rather sympathetic light.

Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter.

We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She’s seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. Shes too busy trying not to hurt him. She also has shown some signs of having extreme anxiety, which messes with ones head and makes it difficult--nearly impossible--to think straight. She wants to be the source of love and comfort he desires (and already is in a way) so his faults go unprocessed.

But what are Adrien’s flaws?

1. He has trouble standing up for himself.

He’ll take a stand for others.

He stood up to Chloe on Mylene’s behalf in Horrificator and on Marinette/ Cheng Sifu’s behalf in Kung Food. He stood up to Lila in Oni-chan and Ladybug. He stood up to Gabriel in Simon Says--but as Chat Noir, not Adrien.

There have only been two-ish instances of Adrien, not Chat Noir, standing up for himself. I say -ish only because he was kinda standing up for Lila in the first and Chloe in the second.

First in Volpina he stood up to Ladybug for how she handled the situation with Lila. He personally believed she handled the situation poorly (which she did--there were/are serious consequences for that. still) and although he was kinda wishy-washy in conveying that it was only because he was scared of sounding too much like Chat Noir. Her partner. Her chief-of-staff. Who can and will call her out on such behavior.

Second in Malediktator, when he more or less told Marinette she was wrong to be happy about Chloe leaving. Granted this was partly him standing up for Chloe, but aside from her—he, Adrien, was deeply upset chloe was leaving on such bad terms and made sure Marinette understood that.

Abused children tend to be somewhat submissive/agreeable/etc. They have trouble speaking out when they’re uncomfortable or don’t want something or think a particular action is wrong. Usually because they are anticipating some kind of punishment for speaking out or afraid of offending the other person to the point that said person wants nothing to do with them anymore, or both.

For Adrien to fix this particular flaw, he needs to prioritize himself and his own wants more. However he also needs someone who doesn’t chastise him for doing things he likes, tending to his own needs and setting boundaries. Kagami is not that person--she’s actually quite demanding of him and cold. Her understanding of relationships isnt great either, which is why these two really aren’t that great for each other.

2. He puts his faith in the wrong people

Adrien’s fucking household is about as toxic as it can get (please don’t take this as a challenge, S4). On top of his immediate family consisting of his abusive, toxic, terrorist father, there’s his cousin Felix. Felix who squished cheese under Adrien’s pillow, stole his phone, pretended to be him and sent an outrageous and awful video to his friends.

There’s also his mother Emilie whom, despite his love and adoration of her, lied to him for who knows how long and messed around with a broken miraculous to the point it forced her into an indefinite coma and left Adrien at his father’s mercy. There are theories that she did this for her family but nothing concrete or canon has been proven--all we know is that Emilie had been having frequent dizzy spells while she was still awake and using the peacock miraculous, and that she anticipated her fate and Gabriel apparently promised to save her.

There’s Lila, as well. “She’s not dangerous. She just craves attention.” Wrong, Adrien, she’s very dangerous. She is conspiring with your father to spy on you, attempted to get Marinette expelled from school, tricked you into leaving Ladybug alone with a supervillain whom she personally requested to kill Ladybug, pinned Marinette against a bathroom wall and almost got her akumatized, actually got Marinette akumatized and nearly cost you both the Ladybug Miraculous and TIkki. She isn’t just dangerous she is an actual threat, whether or not she is the future Hawk Moth who sent Timetagger after you when you were children with time-sensitive powers. Adrien has a slightly better understanding of that after the events of Ladybug and Oni-chan, so hopefully he will be on his guard at least in regards to Lila.

The reason for Adrien’s overly trusting nature may lie in the fact that literally everyone closest to him, everyone for the first thirteen years or so, was toxic and/or a liar. You know what happens when you can’t trust anyone around you? You live with it. You accept all these bad people as they are, without making any effort to establish healthy boundaries. Adrien certainly lived with it--how’s an abused, isolated boxed-and-sheltered son supposed to know what healthy boundaries are when he’s lacking any healthy connections? I bet he can just barely endure all the anguish but he can’t stand to be alone so he just tolerates it. Not to mention the most guilty is his father. Where else is he supposed to go?

Like a frog sitting in a pot of water, you don’t realize you’re in trouble until the water is too hot. So you just accept it--all the bad feelings--you accept it, live with it and it still hurts but you rarely complain. Because anything is better than being alone.

I think Adrien understands, deep down, that the love he is clinging to, the love provided by his relatives, isn’t really there. But if he looks at it too long and lets this knowledge sink in he’ll lose it. He really did lose it in Chat Blanc-- just that sky-crashing-down-on-him realization that he didn’t have his fathers love, hadn’t had it for a long time, just completely ruined our boy.

Of course the knowledge is there. It’s literally right there in front of his face and it’s only a matter of time before he is forced to turn and look and face the music. At which point I hope Marinette knows who he is and has a plan to save him otherwise Chat Blanc is just going to happen again.

3. Yes, he takes the flirting too far sometimes

No--that doesn’t make him toxic.

Yes, Adrien overreacted to Ladybug never showing up in Glaciator. He shouldn’t have been upset with her in Frozen for not accepting the rose. He should have told her the damn truth about being forced to leave the city at the same time she was in the New York special.

However, he also apologized for overreacting in both Glaciator and Frozen. And again, abused kids live in anticipation of punishment for their mistakes. Adrien’s father has taught him that the slightest mistake can result in loss of freedom or trust, even if its circumstances beyond his control. And he now understands that Ladybug isn’t going to blindly punish him for being honest with her, which he now knows to do.

He makes mistakes, apologizes for them, and learns from them. That’s not fucking toxic--it’s natural, human and allowed.

He’s flirty and suggestive, yes, but the minute she signals she doesn’t want it or isn’t feeling it he stops. He has had immense trouble with not flirting with her, despite her telling him she isn’t interested multiple times. That much is true. But he truly and deeply cares for her and he would never force himself on her and it isn’t because he knows she’ll kick his ass if he does. It’s because unlike the vast majority of his family, he’s actually a decent human being.

He has even begun to “flirt platonically,” toasting their partnership and friendship rather than offering a romantic relationship she can never say yes to. If that isn’t the most soft and respectful fluff I don’t know what is.

4. He is leading Kagami on

Did he cheat? I’m actually not sure. Thomas is being vague in his tweets and won’t give us a decent answer (because he likes “watching fandom burn”--i mean MOOD but clarify please).

Here’s what we know and have observed: 1. Chat Noir told Ladybug “I have a girlfriend” 2. He immediately followed that up with “It’s not good at all. I just said that to make you jealous” 3. He allowed Kagami to kiss him in the new york special 4. but he has trouble telling girls not to touch him--been a problem since episode one. Yes its generally cheek kisses chloe gives him but sometimes its not and he looked downright uncomfortable in a lot of cases of physical contact with her and with Lila 5. he seemed rather comfortable with kagami kissing him--except he did say no to her kissing him in the finale 6. but he’s also trying to move on from Ladybug and be with Kagami 7. If he were in a relationship with Kagami, he’d likely keep it a secret because both of their parents are controlling of them and may not allow it 8. His understanding of relationships and girls is kinda dreadful due to not having his mom around for advice and his father’s general lack of a concept of what healthy romantic relationships and boundaries are, and, as Nino put it, not being able to understand signals very well

Adrien’s current relationship status is up in the air. I’m about eighty percent certain he’s dating Kagami--but there’s still that twenty percent chance he’s not.

Putting aside the question of whether or not he and Kagami are official, Adrien’s been attempting to move past his feelings for Ladybug. Which--won’t sugarcoat it--he kinda sucks at. At the same time, Kagami is aware he is in love with another but lacks the understanding that his moving on will take time.

The main issues here is that Adrien knows who he wants but can’t have her. Kagami is a wonderful person herself and he wants to get to know her better, but they aren’t really a good match and they are both going to get hurt in the end (Love Victor anyone???). Until that happens we are going to have some questionable moments in the show, and we just need to remember that Adrien is a child with a poor understanding of relationships, and not an evil person. Kagami doesn’t necessarily have a great understanding of them either--”Your indecision hurts me Adrien,” “Adrien you and I are perfect for each other!”--and she has flaws of her own she needs to unlearn.

For the time being, Adrien is leading Kagami on (it needs to be said--even if they aren’t dating he’s flirted with her, given her roses etc.) I say leading her on because, no matter how much Adrien believes Marinette is just a friend and they weren’t flirting in New York, loyal boyfriends who wish to be monogamous don’t dance with other women.

Or look this happy when that other woman touches them

Does this make Adrien a deceitful and hateful character? No. Does this make him an unworthy character? No. It makes him an abused child with little to no concept of healthy relationships.

Also Adrien’s friends, including Marinette, have no reason to believe he is dating Kagami. They know he is interested in her and she in him, but as Nino said, Adrien has a hard time picking up signals and understanding their meaning. Not to mention the boy is fifteen. Flirting skills, understanding boundaries, and other relationship concepts are a challenge even for ordinary fifteen year olds in healthy environments to grasp--case in point: Marinette.

Adrigami and Lukanette are simply not going to end well. The Love Square is the endgame and ultimately both Lukanette and Adrigami are going to fall apart to make that happen--I knew that going into the possible Adrigami and Lukanette territory that the finale created.

Kagami is a strong, intelligent person--she’s likely going to be the one to end it given what we’ve seen. I don’t like to think about what might happen then--she may be akumatized and Chat Noir would feel rather guilty and may not be able to fight her. But they will both come out of it with something they needed--Kagami will understand (as Marinette needs to) that Adrien isn’t her perfect soul mate incapable of making mistakes. Adrien will understand relationships better.

Its unfortunate that this has to happen in order for Adrien to learn due lessons, given that he actually does have someone who can talk to him about girls and relationships and loyalty: Nino.

Given what Nino wasted no time in scolding Mari for spying on Adrien and Lila when she confessed doing so in Chameleon, as well as how he treats Alya, I undoubtedly believe Nino would be the one to come out and say “You can’t dance with Marinette when you’re with Kagami.”

Assuming he is with Kagami.

In conclusion: Adrien is flawed but not deserving of hate. He is a traumatuzed child stuck in a toxic household who lacks proper mentors. Marinette, Alya and Nino are out of the loop about his potential relationship with Kagami. And Marinette and Kagami both need to acknowledge Adrien is imperfect. Nino and Adrien need to do guy talk like two seasons ago.

Also Marinette probably has some intense anxiety issues. But more on that later.

#long post #adriennette #love square #miraculous ladybug #mlb new york #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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Kait Reacts To The AE 5/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[11:37]

Rika is with Saeyoung. They sent him over and there’s no denying that fact. She sends a picture not even a second after we can enter the chatroom and lets us know that he’s with him. I didn’t know that it would happen this fast and my real fear right now was something I thought about when they took Saeyoung in the first place and he was willing to go down for Saeran and the player. My brain said, when they send him to Rika, this is going to be like what happened in the Hunger Games with Peeta and the tracker jackers. I know that he’s going to tell lies and be willing to go along with it, but this is Rika.

Rika will manipulate and hurt others to get what she wants. I don’t care if she says she’s changed. She’s showing us who she really is and how she has not changed in the slightest, and now it’s even worse because we have to go up against her once again and V. V, I’m not even going to get started. You’ve dug a hole in the sand and shoved your head in, no matter what happens, you would never be able to remove Saeran or Saeyoung from the agency, the Prime Minister or Rika.

Rika makes her point really clear. She says that the boys will never be able to change their fate or escape. The Prime Minister wants to use them and it does not matter what happens, they’re going to come after Saeran. They’re going to keep them “healthy” enough to go out in public and lie to the media and the world about what’s really happening. Saejoong promised the agency a lot of money and things are going to burn down if we cannot change anything. We have a good picture.

The boys are going to be kept captive until they die, or serve their purpose. I’m just so fucking angry right now at Rika and everyone that uses these poor boys because they don’t fucking deserve this. Stop making me right with my guesses, Cheritz. I guess I know Rika better than I want. What stands out the most is the fact that Rika does this after you say that you don’t trust her with the boys:

Rika: I know why you think that.

Rika: But Now...

Rika: I have no intention of repeating my past failures.

And then, she does this and that tells me all I need to know:

It wasn’t enough that Saeyoung was willing to burn to ashes in the light of your sun, Rika. You’re going to do to him what you did to Saeran. You haven’t at all changed and you’ve proven to me what kind of person you are. This isn’t okay and it will never okay. This isn’t what they want and if you really cared for both Saeyoung and Saeran, you wouldn’t be doing this. You wouldn’t be trying to do this at all.

You would be helping us.

Not making deals.

Anyways... after I nearly snapped my phone in half because Rika was getting on my nerves again. I opened the Visual Novel. We’re meeting with Vanderwood now to talk about what happened... yeah, the trust is very thin here but it’s all we have and got to do what we can. Vanderwood makes it clear that he’s with Rika and that yes, they’ll be after Saeran once they get Elizabeth.

So, Elly is in danger now. But, we can’t worry about that right now. We have to worry about Saeyoung. Vanderwood reveals that Saeyoung is being kept at V’s place in the mountains, there’s agents in and out constantly. My trust in V is so low right now because he can’t change what’s happening, he’s just letting it go on and... I’m upset with him, I’m disappointed, and it’s complicated. Trust me, leaving a bad relationship isn’t easy but his eyes are dark and sullen.

He’s resigned himself and I don’t know if he can come back from this anymore.

Either way, Vanderwood is willing to sneak us into the place. It’s going to be easy for Saeran, but... sorry players that don’t identify as female, but it says that female agents aren’t common and we’re going to have to split up. As in, we can’t be with Saeran by his side. We’ll have to be with Vanderwood and use them as a cover to sneak in.

What’s worse is Saeran... knows that with the drugs, they’re going to try and really warp Saeyoung like they did to him. I fear for him

I really don’t want to separate from him. But, it’s all we have to do. Saeran asks if we want to go back to C&R again, but I just. I can’t leave him. I don’t know if it is the right thing to do here, but if we’re going down, we’re going down together and I can’t leave him alone. We’ve always been in this together and we need to see it through to the end.

I just... there’s agents switching out every two days. It’s like a prison. I don’t even know what to think. We have to part. Saeran doesn’t want to do it. I want to hold his hand, like I said, I’ve told him that we’re in this together and that gives me a heart so that’s a good thing. All I know is that we’re clinging together with this hope that we can be together and Saeyoung will be safe too...

And then we cut back to the boardroom of C&R. They’re planning on getting rid of Chairman Han and Jumin. They know that there’s not really any way to come back from what’s happening right now. Everyone thinks that they shouldn’t have even done this because the Prime Minister is involved with a lot of shady groups and they’re not wrong. It’s looking bad for Jumin. I don’t know how this is going to turn out to be honest with you.

I’m worried about everyone.

[13:15]

Oh, boy. This was a heavy chatroom and visual novel. I cannot even express to you what was going on inside of my head because I’m still reeling from what’s to happening and what’s to come and what may not come. I don’t know, I actually thought I hit bad ending when I got to the visual novel but I didn’t, so it must be the natural order of what’s happening. Anyway, Jumin’s awake now and he is... I don’t know how he keeps himself together, I envy that. He says he will not show his feelings in this messenger where the enemies can see it.

But, he’s been stabbed in the back by the people he trusted most, and he’s losing everything that he ever had, and he still wishes that he could do more to help Saeran and Saeyoung. We can’t tell them completely what happened, not really, you can say what you know about the deal with the Prime Minister but not much else. You need to make sure that you’re watching what you share. The video that Saeyoung did... they saw it, and it’s just... wrecking everything so fast and hard.

Zen actually tries to reach out to Jumin but... he says in a text later than he’s never seen him so broken up before. I hate to see it. I really do. I don’t want that for them but we’re crashing right now and I’m struggling to see how we’re going to get our way out. Jumin wants answers from his father so he has to leave and see him about the deal with Seven, etc. We wish him the best but... God, I feel bad.

This Visual Novel makes you hate and scream and cry all at the same time. There is just too much happening all at once for me to deal with it, to be utterly honest with you. Jumin goes to the board and he resigns before they can get him off the job. He takes everything. He takes all of the blame. He says that it is his fault. He was leading the RFA. He was doing this, he was doing that. He takes it and lets it be. It kind of hurts, he’s keeping it all balled up inside at this point and... I don’t know.

I hate to see it. He’s doing this... and he needs to see his father, now. I have a hard time trying to think about how Jumin is going to come out of this. I don’t know how he’s going to react because... with V’s Route and Secret Endings, it was a lot different and it was more fixated on Rika. It wasn’t like this. It wasn’t him being stabbed by Rika, V, the Prime Minister, and the Agency. He risked all he has and all he knows for us.

He always will.

Don’t ever doubt that faith he has in the RFA.

I just... hate to see him hurting when he wants to continue to help us no matter the cost.

We go with Vanderwood and Saeran has gone his own way for the time being so we can get things done... or so we want to think. I was really kind of rooting for you, Vanderwood, but I’m not upset that you wound up tricking me here for your life. They make it clear they’ll do things but they’re not gonna die for anyone or anything. I’m upset but I’m not mad at them like I’m mad at Rika or V right now cause I know what they’re up against.

To be fair, I’m not totally... well, I think Vanderwood let Saeran get away here, but we also know that we can be used as leverage against Saeran. It’s kind of hard to say where it’s heading from here. I’m straining, but I know that Rika is going to try to manipulate us to get Saeran too. I refuse. At least Vanderwood felt a bit of remorse for this.

But, Rika? No. Not with what I see. She planned this out. They all knew what they could do if they got Saeran and us. However, they only got us. But, I know this woman is going to use that to get what she wants. I don’t know what to expect but maybe we can find Saeyoung and... talk to him, I don’t know how he will be or how might play out because... the drugs.

I’m still trying to discern what poisons she’s using but I’ve yet to discern what type of plants are involved in my research thus far when I’m not writing out these as I’m playing.

I can’t leave out the phone call because. V calls. V calls and he’s... I don’t know what the heck is up with him. I don’t know how... I don’t know what’s going on in his head and that really bothers me. This chat has two notes in it that really are bothering me. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of what he is doing. I’m having a hard time trying to read V and this is a first for me because I’m used to knowing what he is going to do but I’ve hit a wall.

There is a part of him that knows this is wrong. But, he is denying his reality as he lets Rika into his heart thinking this is the only way to save her and to ensure nothing worse happens. I don’t know how much he’s lying to himself here about this. I think he’s just... lost, broken and. It’s hard to say, if this was all he said to me then I wouldn’t be so livid. If you know it’s wrong, stop this, stop doing all of this and stop Rika, V.

You know it’s not right. Stop letting this happen.

How am I supposed to feel about this V? You act like you’re caring but then you tell me something you would have told Rika years ago...? You like to watch me? What the fuck does that even mean? I’m not interested in what you’re selling to me here and I don’t want this. I won’t give up Saeran nor will I let Rika have him, I don’t know what’s wrong with you and why you’ve become who you have, I do not know nor did I ever think this was the extreme length of what you would do for Rika.

I never thought you’d be an active player in this. But, you are. So, I’m torn here quite a bit and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again, V. You said you want Saeran to come. You know what happens if he does. I will not let that ever happen. Nobody will get him.

God, what’s worse is:

Of course. Saeyoung isn’t going to be the same if Rika gets her way, and we both know it. He’s not going to “stay that way” because she’s going to get him everything she did to Saeran and more. I’m not going to let that happen, either, I’m not going to let these boys hurt. I’m not changing my mind. Nobody is going to trick me with mind games. Been there, done that, Rika is about two decades too late.

Yikes, you know? What the hell, man.

[15:33] Vanderwood is in trouble. They were meant to give us both over but he made sure that Saeran was gone and safe. We were the easier option hand over since we don’t really hold a lot of power or use in a way, they just need us to be able to get to Saeran and that makes sense, frankly.

They’re... forlorn in a way, and I was right, they are willing to go out on a limb but they’re not going to die. They have been living this long and did whatever it took to survive.

From a personal safety means, I understand why they’re doing it. I know that they do feel remorse. So, that sucks. I want to be able to help them too because they rightly deserve to be out of this. Oh, and we learn that they’ve been at this for twelve years, so in my mental game of trying to gauge their age, I’m roughly gonna say late-late twenties and early thirties.

So, that’s something fun that we’re learning here! I don’t think I’m that far off, they said “Since they were young,” so that implies that they went through what Saeyoung went through. Saeyoung went in when he was really young as well so I have to gauge their age using that scale, you know?

Well, I have to at least say that I better understand them than I did before and I learned a lot from this conversation.

Oh, great. It’s my favorite time of day. Not. We’re sitting down with Rika and she’s made a point of warning us not to bother with Saeyoung. He’s getting to sleep while they’re pumping him with... I don’t know if we can call it the elixir but it’s something of the same caliber because Saeran is nearly immune to it after it was laced in the elixir. He took it so long that his tolerance of such is slim to none and that’s why their plan didn’t work from the start. Rika knows that Saeran isn’t going to leave us or Saeyoung.

I won’t feed into her, and I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten hearts when I’m utterly blunt with Rika. I appreciate that. This is a much better tone than what I had to deal with in V’s AE. I don’t want to forgive her and I never will, because she is proving to do this over and over again until she’s forced to stop, literally, by being taken away.

I have a better idea of what’s going on with Rika now, though, thanks to her being her usual self. She tells outright what she’s thinking right now and makes her phone clear that she thinks she’s fulfilling Saeyoung’s dream, but we see the truth in her lies. This isn’t about Saeyoung. You can tell her that bluntly. This is not the boy’s dream. This is what you want. This was never about them. This is about what you want.

You’re doing this for you and not the boys. If you tell her that, she sighs, and makes a point about how the world is harsh. She says if you want to be knocked down then you should bend, and if you want to be strong, then that means that you need to join the strongest, no matter how much that means the monsters are... the worst people alive.

She says she and V decided to do this. I’m still trying to figure out V here but I’m not going to trust him anymore. I know I can’t trust Rika. I’ve known that from the very start. Rika just says that this is a waiting game after this, she says it’s only a matter of time until Saeran comes... tonight... tomorrow. It matters not, he is going to come and she will have him as she wants him. It ends with her telling us to wait, shall we?

Oh, and Jumin’s new of resigning is on television, we know now. We know things are doomed.

I’m relieved after this wave of nausea, because Saeran calls. He escaped because of Vanderwood and he’s back to C&R. Nobody knows where he is and it needs to stay that way. He talked to Jumin. He’s made sure that nobody can try to trace him. Saeran thinks that Jumin is going to continue to try to help us just without C&R funds... and I expect that, I think. But at the same time, I’m really worried given what Zen said earlier.

Saeran’s decided that the way to save Saeyoung is defeating Saejoong and the agency, and I agree. Our future has no hope unless they burn. He does his best to reassure us. He knows that they won’t hurt us... he wants to think they won’t hurt us because they want him, and until they have him, they can’t do anything to us.

I think what I fear the most here is that... they’re not going to let me go. I know he wants to be hopeful but. They’re not going to let me go if they catch him. It’s obvious they’ll kill me and get me out of the way the second they get the chance, or worse, they’ll use the player as leverage to get Saeran to obey onward until the drugs are back in his system like they’re trying to do to Saeyoung or—

God, what if they try to drug us, too?

What if we’re pawns as well?

It isn’t up to V and Rika, after all. This is the Prime Minister.

#KaitReactsToTheAE #Kait Reacts To The AE #saeran after ending #SaeranAfterEnding #spoilers #spoiler #mm #mysme #mystic messenger #mysticmessenger #saeran #saeran choi #choi saeran #mystic messenger saeran #mysme saeran #saeran mysme #saeran mm #mm saeran #saeran mystic messenger

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justalittlebluetiefling · 4 years

Text

Friendship, Fuckery, and Fey

Words: 3684

Look, I used the title! I come up with the perfect title and then I can’t write a proper introduction to save my life. Go figure.

Anyway, I wanted to look into the conversation between Artagan and Jester a little deeper and writing is how I figure out what I’m thinking, so you all get this thing, whatever it is.

Disclaimer/Reminder: Dudes, I don’t hate Artagan. I think he’s complex, interesting, layered character and watching Matt play him is a genuine delight. And he’s an Archfey on top of that, which makes him even more complex. I am inherently suspicious of everything, so there’s a good chance that we’re not going to agree on what any of this means. I’ve also never been quiet about my distrust of The Traveler, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that’s been following me for a while. I look forward to potentially being proven wrong by the narrative.

To quote Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: This is the problem with fey. They don’t tend to lie. They tend to tell just most of the truth.

I debated how to set this up and decided that I’m going to dissect small chunks of the conversation and go from there. I’m just going to get into it, because I’m assuming that’s what you’re here for.

Artagan: Hello, Jester Jester: Hi. Artagan: What’s wrong? You look so.... Jester: This guy. Here. He’s real... he’s a... he’s a dick, man. Like, not in a good way. Like.... Artagan: There’s a lot of them out there. You’re not wrong. Jester: But this guy, like, this whole island is weird. It’s like opening - look at this waterfall! Have you ever seen anything like that? This doesn’t count as a question. Like, come on. Artagan: That is quite impressive. I mean, from a mortal standpoint. There are some places in the Fey that are just mindboggling. That is - Jester: We need to go there. Artagan: One of these days. Jester: (over each other) Can you take everyone there? Artagan: (over each other) You are welcome to. Jester: Can we sleep in the Feywild? Artagan: I would prefer not to go back. But you’re welcome to go any time you’d like. I’ll just keep my time here as well.

I don’t have a lot to say about this really. It all seems pretty normal. But I do like that Matt has loosened the interaction rules for Commune to open it up for conversations like this between Jester and Artagan. She asked three yes-or-no questions in this tiny section alone, but he stayed around for a longer chat. I... just dig the whole thing.

However, it also makes total sense to me that Artagan wouldn’t have told Jester much, if anything, about his time in the Feywild. Since he has no interest in ever going back. But it makes me want to know what would happen to him if he goes back? I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that he needed Vox Machina to build him a doorway to the Material Plane for some reason that remains unnamed. Matt give me your notes!

Artagan: But I’m sorry, you brought me here for a purpose. Did you have any questions? Jester: People lose their memory here. They could be here for two or three days and then they get stuck here forever. Did you know that could happen? Artagan: I... I was aware. Jester: Like, I understand if, you know, you want to get rid of some of your followers, we talked about it, it’s okay, you know. Like... a few of them could stay, but I don’t want to stay.

So... here’s the deal. I’m going to get into the Artagan morality now as opposed to later, because I feel like it. I’ll get into Jester morality later.

Fey are, in a sense, amoral. Hmm... maybe that’s not what I mean. Their sense of morality does not tend to line up with the morality of someone from the Material Plane. The rules in the Feywild are different. Honestly, I don’t even know how to approach this without trying to apply a human moral code to it. I guess... my feelings on this? I love a gray morality. I love the confusion and angst that comes with it. But like... defending an archfey by saying that they don’t have the same morals as us seems kind of weird to me. That’s exactly the point? They don’t have the same morals as us? So everything that he says should be taken with a grain of salt.

Artagan does care about Jester. I believe that. But... he also didn’t warn her about what was on Rumblecusp. He knew there was a Morkoth there. He knew that people were losing their memories here. And I guess this is where we have to decide why him not telling her doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It’s more that he didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her. His favorite. He sent her in blind. Whatever you feel about an archfey’s morality, by our own standards, that’s super fucked up. That’s like you being deathly allergic to bees and me sending you to pick something up for me at a farm that also happens to be a bee rescue place and not telling you about that part. (Okay please don’t judge me for that comparison it was the only thing I could think of and I’m aware how silly it sounds.) Do I know that something could happen to you? Yep. Do I want something to happen to you? Nope. Do I send you anyway? Yep. Do I care that I sent you into danger? Nope. Do I care that it makes you think I don’t care about you? Yep.

See. Complicated.

Anyway, one other thing I want to talk about before continuing is Jester’s relationship with faith right now. She’s been struggling since the reveal that he’s not a god. She’s been struggling since she realized that she needs to put on her mask around him, too. He threw her entire world out of place with that reveal. And I can’t help but focus on what that means for Jester and how it has affected her. This change in their dynamic has been a problem for her. It is hurting her. And she is still frantically trying to cling to her faith in their relationship. It doesn’t bother her that he wants to get rid of some of his other followers, as long as she isn’t someone he wants to get rid of. She used to believe that he wouldn’t do that to her and here? She’s starting to doubt, saying it out loud, because she wants him to tell her that it’s not true. It’s yet another crack in the foundation of their relationship.

And... he does tell her that it isn’t true.

Artagan: You’re not going to stay. Jester, Jester, Jester, Jester. (takes her hands) Please don’t ever think that I’m not looking out for your best interest. And I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing. You have to have a series of layers for something like this. (Jester sniffles) Oh, dear thing. (Puts his thumb on her cheek) I... I don’t mean to put you through this. I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this. If things went sideways when we arrived, I would’ve just plucked you and everyone else of import - Jester: Everyone else, too? Artagan: Everyone else of import. Jester: My friends? Artagan: Oh, your friends? Yes. Of course. But... let’s be honest. There are a few individuals on their way here that are more of a pain in my ass. Let me tell you, trying to charter this many ships from the middle of the Menagerie Coast? Jester: It’s a lot. Artagan: A lot of paperwork. Jester: Yeah. Artagan: I’ve been busy. I hate it. I hate all of this. I’m excited to be done. But no, I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

Oof, okay. My first reaction here was super visceral. This is where most of my distrust started in the conversation, to be honest. He doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the Mighty Nein. That’s not news. He likes that they’re helping keep an eye out for Jester, yeah. But if they hadn’t had this conversation, I’d put money on him only grabbing Jester and leaving the rest of the group. I mean, remember. He didn’t think it was a big deal not to tell her about the memory loss. I’m sure that, in the heat of the moment, he wouldn’t think it was a big deal to leave her friends behind. Jester had to push him twice and even then, it felt like an afterthought. They’re something tangential to Jester. They don’t matter to him.

We also don’t know what the Traveler thinks is in Jester’s best interest. Hell, we don’t really know what Jester thinks is in her best interest. Her reactions to this conversation are where we should be taking our cues from, to be honest. Whether or not she’s comfortable with any of this.

Also, this makes me really, really curious about his other followers. Jester was his first and will always be his favorite, but what if there are a few more that he genuinely likes the way he likes Jester? There have to be a couple. It’s the way he said ‘everyone of import’ that made me start thinking about it. There’s an implication that Jester isn’t the only one on the island that is, however he defines the word, important to Artagan.

Jester: So, do you think we should get rid of this weird Vo-greedy guy? Artagan: Perhaps. If you don’t think there’s much of a purpose or a way to make him useful.... Then.... I mean, what other choice is there? Jester: Do you want to fight him? Artagan: Me? I don’t fight. I... hedge my bets on those who fight for me. Jester: Yeah.... Okay. You promise? You promise? Artagan: I am of a kind of entity that promises are binding. Makes them dangerous. Makes them easy to regret. But binding. And. I. Promise. Jester: Okay.

OKAY. This is where we’re going to get into real arguments, I bet.

Look, I get it. He said the words “I promise”. BUT WHAT DID HE PROMISE?

There are a lot of possibilities here. This is so open-ended. Matt has so many ways he can play this. He could be promising that he never intended to abandon her here. He could be promising that she’s not going to stay on this island. He could be promising that he wasn’t going to abandon her and her friends. He could be promising that he hedges his bets on those who fight for him. Jester didn’t specify. A Fey cannot knowingly tell a lie. Yes. But they are masters at manipulating the truth. If we can’t judge him using our morality, we have to be willing to acknowledge that this probably extends to the way he interacts with people he cares about. Including Jester. Because it’s not the same thing to him. It just isn’t.

So, what does this mean? If he can’t tell a direct lie?

I was aware

He knew something on the island was sucking memories and decided to use it to his advantage if Travelercon didn’t pan out. But how did he expect Travelercon to pan out? What is the purpose? What is the end goal?

Please don’t ever think I’m not looking out for your best interest.

What does he think is Jester’s best interest? Would Jester agree? Is it in her best interest to travel the world creating chaos with him alone? Is it in her best interest to forget him?

I wasn’t planning to leave them all here. It was more of a backup plan if things didn’t work out well with the Travelercon thing.

He wasn’t planning to leave them all here. Again. What is the Travelercon thing? What is the end goal? He still hasn’t said. We know he wants to abdicate responsibility, right? So, what’s the plan to do that after gathering his followers?

I don’t mean to put you through this.

Yeah. He cares about her. He hasn’t intended for his actions to hurt her and they have. He’s aware of this and how she’s upset by the shift in their relationship.

I was never going to abandon you or leave you to this.

He was never going to abandon her or leave her to this. But... he didn’t say that he didn’t intend to leave her there at all. He could leave her there for 50 years and then go back and that wouldn’t be considered abandoning her. Or he could have intended to sweep only Jester out of there.

I wasn’t going to abandon you and your friends.

After a little pushing, he agreed that he didn’t intend to leave her friends behind either. So, for now, the Nein at least have a backup escape plan, although we don’t know exactly what that means. And if they die fighting Vokodo, he doesn’t have to worry about extricating them as well.

I hedge my bets on those who fight for me.

I mean, that’s pretty easy to take at face value. He’s not really one for direct confrontation.

Look. Maybe i’m being paranoid. But Fey always make me nervous. In a fun way? If that makes sense. It’s like a logic game. How many different ways can this sentence be interpreted? What have I possibly gotten myself into? Like... *CR1 SPOILERS* remember how Vox Machina got out of the whole threshold crest thing by stone-shaping a Whitestone crest in the threshold of one of their doors? And Garmelie/Artagan had to accept it, because it fit the letter of the promise, if not the spirit? I feel like you need to always look for the loopholes with Fey beings.

And again. Yes. Artagan said the words “I promise”. But the loophole is literally right there. He promised nothing explicitly.

Artagan: And I’m sorry if you felt abandoned. I... there’s no excuse I can put other than the fact that things are a little crazy right now and I (laughs). Oh, mortals are a special breed. Jester: Hey, man, maybe a dragon turtle will take out a couple of the boats on the way here. Artagan: Well, I don’t - I don’t want them dead necessarily. Jester: No, I mean, that would be - that would be terrible. That’d be terrible.

Oh, yay! Jester morality time! I’m not going to go too in depth, but I’ll make a couple notes.

I love this. It’s so amazing, because you can see the way Jester’s opinion on morality was shaped by her time growing up with Artagan. It’s been clear through the entire campaign. The time Fjord said they agreed not to put anyone in harm’s way in an excessive manner and her response? “When did we agree that?” The way that Caleb assumes she’s sweet and innocent and would be upset to find out he murdered his parents? (That’s something Liam said on Talks, btw, I’m not making that up.) And Laura, on the other hand, is like, dude. Jester wouldn’t care.

Jester’s morality is very much shaped on how the actions of others affect her and her friends. This person is her friend, so what they do is ‘good’. Or, even if it’s not good, she’s going to back them up. The conversation with Fjord in the Uk’otoa temple? “Just don’t be evil to me, okay?” I mean, if Fjord had decided to free Uk’otoa? She would have helped, because he’s her friend. She cared about the way it affected and hurt Fjord more than anything. She doesn’t care that Beau or Nott or Caleb were in jail for anything. She doesn’t have the same reservations about lying to people that others do. (Hmm... someone else want to write something up on the way the different members of the Nein view lying??) She doesn’t have the same reservations about killing people. It’s just... yeah. She’s chaotic neutral. Okay, I have more thoughts on this, but I’m going to save them for the conclusion.

Artagan: The plan was, if things went wrong, at the very least they’d be left here to live a nice life in a village with some people, you know? They weren’t going to be hurt. They just would’ve forgotten some thing. Jester: Yeah, that’s true. I mean, they’re living a nice life and nobody seems to hate it with their memories gone. Artagan: Right?! Jester: But I don’t want to do it! Artagan: And you won’t be! It was never even part of this. I should have clarified it. You’re right. I should’ve been a little more forthright with some of this information. Jester: I’m here extra days! You know? Like, extra time. That’s extra risk! (deep sigh) I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you. Artagan: It’s all right. I would’ve come back. Jester: Okay. Artagan: Hey. you wanna see something very pretty? (makes the Tusktooth logo appear on one of the moons) Jester: That’s pretty cool.

This is kind of more in the morality vein as well, but it feels separate from her individual morality. Jester once again asserts the fact that she doesn’t want to live here. She doesn’t want to forget things. And Artagan apologizes and says he should have been more forthright with the information. All while continuing to not be forthright of what his actual plan is.

He also makes sure to mention that he would have come back. Again. Fey can’t tell a direct lie. Maybe he means he would have rescued her right away. But I still stand by something I said last weekend. Artagan doesn’t want this responsibility anymore. If he has to lose Jester in order to get out of it and go back to a life of fun, he would. It’s an acceptable sacrifice to him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t genuinely care about her. He just cares about himself more. He cares about how this is affecting Jester, but he cares about how it’s affecting him more.

I don’t know you guys. Like I’ve said over and over. He’s fun. But I still think there’s reason to worry.

Final Thoughts

If anyone thinks I’m ever ignoring Jester’s morality, because I think she’s the sweetest, I can promise you that’s not what I’m doing. I think her morality is sketchy af but really funny, the same way I view Artagan’s tbh, but the difference is in how she cares about the rest of the Nein. Which is also what she cares about, by the way. She loves them and cares for them so much. She does so many sweet things to show that. She paints a mural of wildflowers for Yasha. She pretends she’s going to offer up her hands to a hag and tricks said hag with a cupcake for Veth. She buys Caduceus the cookbook about mushrooms, because she knew he loved fungus and cooking. She uses her special paint to create a parasol for Essek so that he can have a small shield from the sunlight.

But she also takes every opportunity to fuck with everyone she comes across. Her little pranks are hilarious, but if you put yourself in the shoes of that priest of Bahamut? Probably not so great. And do I care? No. What I care about is that Jester has fun. That goes for this Traveler thing, too. And right now it’s hurting her. A great deal. She cried for a long time after that conversation was over. If Jester ultimately says “fuck it” and runs off with The Traveler, I’d be super sad, but more power to her. I just want... I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to get hurt.

I guess I think there are two options here. There are more. But these are the two I think about a lot.

One: Artagan doesn’t want to intentionally hurt her. He doesn’t seem to want to intentionally hurt anyone. But when he says he doesn’t want any of the dead. He adds necessarily. If he managed to get out of having all these followers because some of them died. Eh. An unfortunate side effect. He didn’t want it to happen. But maybe he’s willing to give every single one of them up, including Jester, if he can go back to his carefree life.

Two: Artagan loves Jester enough that losing her would hurt him. This encompasses a lot of things. What could he lose her to? Death? Her losing her faith? The Mighty Nein? A romantic relationship? Another friendship that has somehow become more important? Honestly, there are lots of threats to their relationship. And this kind of ties into the way that I think the Nein are an afterthought for him. He doesn’t currently view them as a threat, but he’s also been very busy lately. He values them as protectors for Jester, but she doesn’t necessarily need protection. She’s strong on her own. So... let’s say Jester decides that she doesn’t believe in the Traveler anymore? What would a scorned archfey do? What have we seen, historically, in this game? Legit, I am all about Saundor 2.0. I’m not sure I think it’s the most likely, but I would love to see this play out in their narrative. Because I’m a sucker for angst. Have I not mentioned that enough?

Anyway. I guess that’s it. The message? Don’t blindly trust Archfey? No. That’s not the message. The message is that this is complicated and painful and making for a super fun story, but it really sucks to see Jester cry.

#critical role #the traveler #jester lavorre #cr meta #cr spoilers #i didn't intend to write this today but it happened #yes i blamed percy for making me hyperaware of everything artagan ever says #and wanting to dissect every single word from every single sentence #LISTEN #some of the things i say in here are so dumb like dorky dumb #i am aware of how silly this got in places #don't remind me that there was probably a better comparison out there lol #the bullet list in here is awkwardly formatted sorry

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roseategales · 4 years

Text

VORACITY — ONE-SHOT.

author’s note: the smut in this fic mostly functions in the background and in dialogue, but, although it’s described in detail, is not the focal point. the fic was written to focus mainly on the discussion of motivation, consent, aftercare, and the dynamic between solas and my lavellan, who are in an established and loving relationship by the point that this fic happens in. thank you to @thebookworm0001 and @jarakrisafis for beta’ing. <3

_____________________________

“I can heal these.”

Cooled with a spell at the ready, Solas’ fingertips hover over her hip, where an imprint of his earlier grip on her is darkening to bruises. It’s not the only wine-red patch. There’s a counterpart on her other side; and an irregular trail of marks in the shape of his mouth, starting from her throat, wandering down to her breasts, and ending below her ribs. In the morning, their contrast on her skin will be deeper, and will appear harsher than they are in daylight’s emphasis. She’ll have to be grateful Josephine ordered so many high-collared tunics for her in spite of her protests. Secretly. Or her Chief Ambassador may fuss even more. But Eludysia doesn’t think those things warrant her worries. Nor should they warrant Solas’. Easily concealed displays of a night enjoyed with her dearly missed lover? Hardly worth the trouble, when their lives are full of worries as things are.

“So can I,” she reminds him. She curls closer to his side. “Leave it. I don’t mind them,” she says. If anything, they serve as a reminder that there are some things of Eludysia she can keep guarded. For her love. For herself. Apart from Herald and Inquisitor.

Solas hesitates for a moment, the line of his mouth severe, eyes searching hers in the shadows cast by the dim firelight. “Ma nuvenin,” he says eventually, when she voices nothing more. The spell is returned to the streams of the Fade, and he arranges the quilt to cover her body and his.

She should know him better by now, however. The way she’s learning to know the lean grace of his form, the sharp angles of his features, the specific timbre of his voice. His acquiescence to her is conflict with himself. She has her dismaying confirmation as he lays back down to face her and brush her hair behind her ear, without a kiss to her forehead or her lips. Without holding her. He tries a smile, but it’s as withdrawn as he is. Like he doesn’t dare to allow himself her closeness, his mind lost to rumination.

There’s something behind his offers to clean her up and heal her love bites.

“You’re upset,” she says, as both a statement and a question.

“Do I appear to be?” Solas asks. It’s tempting to interpret his lilt and raised brow as amused surprise, and not concern. A simple yes or no would’ve made it easier to pursue the subject. She wouldn’t feel like she’s walking on a thin line, caught between potentially overstepping his boundaries again or never knowing the reason for his reservation with her.

Her desire to know wins.

“You do appear to be,” she tells him. “You’re distancing yourself and dodging my question.”

“I do not wish to concern you, vhenan. Moreover, you must be tired after your journey from Ferelden, and I have stolen enough of your time and energy. You should sleep.” He winds his arm around her, palm flat on her spine. His thumb strokes her skin. If the gesture is meant to soothe her, it has the opposite effect.

“I’ll toss and turn the whole night if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Eludysia is aware of the manipulative undertone to her words. Though she is being truthful and her intentions are genuine, she could have let this go. Didn’t he say he would work on trusting her? She could have admitted that she is tired, and asked if he would discuss things with her in the morning. She could have asked if he’d help her sleep with a spell. Left him to mull things over on his own in the Fade. Perhaps he’d feel better if she did. But then, she doesn’t feel it’s a good idea to leave the conversation here. It is just as likely that he’d continue to avoid the subject and she would be no closer to the explanation for his mood’s sudden shift. She was so happy to be able to see him and be held by him again. She counted down the days, ached to have him all over her at night. Her hand and mere recollections of him between her legs brought poor relief. She thought he ached similarly and was equally thrilled for her return. Now...

Solas removes his arm from her. He rubs his face, as though he was the one who’d spent a week in talks with the Ferelden crown and nobility on a mutual effort to expunge the Venatori. For a moment, she braces herself for him to evade her or leave again. She wouldn’t blame him. But he doesn’t. When he drops his hand, his expression is as composed as a still pool.

“All right,” he says quietly. “I fear I should not have taken you in the manner I did. I was reckless. Unthinking. I could’ve caused you worse harm.” He places two fingers under the mark at her throat, examining her. As if he waits for her to flinch away from him. She remains at his side, her breathing steady. “My actions were regrettable. I apologise.”

“You apologise,” she repeats, incredulous. Reckless. Unthinking. Harm. She turns each word, each meaning over. Tries to frame tonight’s sex in the light of them. She can see how reckless could be applicable. But unthinking? Harm? And if his actions were regrettable, what would he call hers? Who initiated what past the first kiss is a bit difficult to distinguish. Neither of them could get their clothes off quick enough, neither seemed like they could bear another second without the other’s touch. But this much is clear: She was exhilarated by the voracity of Solas’ desire. She encouraged every move he made. Fenhedhis, his back must’ve stung from her nails sinking into his flesh. He had murmured, “abelas,” when she gasped at how hard he bit her throat, and she bid him to do it harder.

He’d paused, looked up at her. His pupils were dilated, eyes dark as the Void. Did they dance in the firelight or did she imagine it? “Are you certain?” He asked.

She couldn’t help but arch into him. “Yes! Please!”

Eludysia’s worry heightens into alarm.

“Solas…” She says slowly, fearing where she next treads. “Was the sex tonight pleasurable for you?”

His brows crease. “That is besides the point.”

“No, it isn’t.” She winces. Her pitch is higher, shakier than she intended it to be.

He falls silent. A shadow passes over his face. “It… was. Yes.”

She has little cause to assume he’s lying. In all the time she has known him, Solas has proven to highly value truth and deplore falsehoods. He has and will avoid and obfuscate if he sees fit. Mostly out of caution. But he would never lie. Still, she wants to be certain. “Every second of it?”

“I would not have gone as far as I did if it were otherwise,” he says.

“Then why are you apologising? If it was pleasurable for both of us, I don’t see a problem.”

“What is pleasurable and what is beneficial is not mutually exclusive, vhenan.” Though he is gentle as he explains, he points the differentiation out as if it’s obvious. “We have not been apart for quite some time, and your trip to Ferelden was the first since we started having sex. It was like starving in the winter after eating of a summer harvest. We were driven by need and desire. That combination can be overpowering for anyone, making them desperate to be satisfied. I wanted nothing more than to have you, to make you cry out and come apart trembling in my hands as I slaked my lust.” He cards his fingers through her hair. Somehow, his touch underlines his description of what transpired, intimate yet distant. She’d wonder at how paradoxical he can be if she wasn’t familiar with his idiosyncrasies.

He continues, “I knew I had you riled. I asked for your consent not purely for your sake, but to permit myself indulgence. Even if you were not hurt or did not feel mistreated in the moment… I would never want a chance of that happening.” His eyes flit past her, like he sees something she can’t. A scene where she’s pushing him away, covered in bruises, feeling used, her trust broken? It vanishes as soon as it appears, and his gaze settles back onto her face. “Certainly not in bed.”

She considers what he has said. Her cheeks burn and her eyes sting. She catches his hand mid-stroke in her hair, and brings it to her lips, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his knuckles. Then she props up her pillow and sits, arranging and clutching the quilt tightly around her body. Solas watches her, questioning. As she cannot conceal the marks at her throat and the tops of her breasts from his view, she hopes her hair and the shadows fall in the appropriate places.

“Vhenan?” He probes.

Eludysia Adhlea Lavellan, you are a fool. Desiring is easy. Asking for explanations is easy. Receiving and examining them, and giving your own in turn—that’s the hard part.

“You’re the first person to care so much for me,” she says. A lump forms in her throat. She swallows, and glances at the sparks rising off the flames. Takes a breath to compose herself. “Growing up Dalish, sex was taught to me as a matter of practicality. We were given lessons on our bodies, taught how to protect ourselves, instructed through common knowledge and preserved texts and folktales, with the expectation of marriage and raising children one day. I’ve told you about my youth, so you know I was… Rather curious and rebellious.”

“As you’re still inclined to be.”

Solas’ wry note earns a nervous laugh from her. “You have a point. Well, I didn’t live in a village. I didn’t have a house with four walls and various rooms, let alone a castle, or stay anywhere long enough to figure out where there were good hiding spots. If I found someone to my liking, we had to be quick and discreet. That often meant we were rough. I’ve been bitten, swatted, I’ve had my hair pulled, and I’ve done the same to others—and there wasn’t time to embrace or curl up together or talk in bed like this.” Not even with Dhea. The thought is tinged with some regret. Not for what could have been. For what was. They were never right as a couple, but a few of the memories they made together might have been happier, had less insecurity and shame. Before Solas, she had no idea that sex could be so tender, so achingly sweet. She didn’t know someone could draw six, seven orgasms a night from her with the softest of touches. Nor what it would be like to be taken care of and then fall asleep in his arms afterwards. Being with him, in Skyhold and on their travels, has been a privilege she never envisioned for herself.

“I’m not telling you any of this to upset you further,” she hastens to add as his eyes widen. “But for you to understand: I like rough sex. I wouldn’t have sought it out or encouraged you if I didn’t. My only worry…” She swallows again. “Is that I’m mistreating you.”

He sits upright in an instant, closing the gap between them. “No, no. Nothing of the sort, vhenan.”

“You’ve done nothing but give into me, disregarding your own discomfort the entire night.”

“Would I not speak plainly if you had wronged me? My discomfort was caused by my guilt towards you. The actions I took were to assuage it.” He shakes his head at her. “You underestimate the extent of my selfishness.”

“Well, it’s not like I haven’t been selfish either.” Isn’t that how they ended up here? Mutual selfishness? She reaches for him with her free hand. He takes it, and she smiles faintly at their fingers interlacing together. “Heal the bruises if you like. I won’t complain.”

He hums, gently pushing her hair off her shoulders and lowering the quilt to her thighs. His fingers brush the edge of the mark at her throat. She tilts her chin up and straightens her posture for him. But he pauses. “First, answer this for me: Is there a reason you refused initially? You were fine with me fetching the cloth and wiping you.”

She shrugs. “Outside of this room, I’m the Herald and Inquisitor. People don’t see me. Not truly. They see whatever gives them faith, hope, or fear. You don’t. When I’m with you, I remember I’m more.” Gods, she sounds like Cole. Her nose scrunches. “I suppose the love bites and bruises just make that notion more tangible, odd as it sounds aloud.”

“On the contrary, it sounds like you’re clinging to your personhood however you can.”

Of course Solas would be the one to understand.

Eludysia cups his cheek and leans against his forehead. Her smile widens as his hand slides around the nape of her neck. “Maybe I don’t need them. Maybe it’s enough that you’re by my side.”

He chuckles, brushing his lips to hers. “I will be glad to remind you of the woman you are as often as you wish,” he murmurs.

Heat pangs in her belly at his words’ suggestiveness. “Good. Because if you’re up for another round…”

He pulls away, expression darkening. She opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is a squeal as she is suddenly on her back, the mattress bouncing underneath, his body atop hers.

“It’ll be easier to heal everything with a single spell later,” he explains before she can ask. He pins her wrists above her head. She feels his cock hardening at her thigh. “Is this all right?”

She laughs, leaning up to drag her teeth over his lower lip. “Perfect,” she says.

The grin he gives is wolfish.

#dai fic #dragon age fic #solavellan fanfic #solavellan fic #dragon age.#mine.#my fics.#solas.#inquisitor : eludysia lavellan.#ship : solas & lavellan. in another world.#well this fic evolved #it was originally a lot more jokey and light and then i was hit with feelings #this... is the result of me thinking of that exchange solas has w/ cole post-here lies the abyss #the one where cole says 'it's not abuse if i ask!' and replies 'not always true'#*solas replies #dom/top!solas is...... heh....... dominant..... in fic #but i've been wanting to write something where sex is sort of in the background while aftercare and the power dynamics are the focus #for quite a while actually #i have to note: josie didn't order the tunics bc she knew solas and 'dysia were fucking asfhdadgds #skyhold is in the mountains. eludysia had few clothes on her back and had just become inquisitor #josie was an angel who wanted to make her friend feel warm and look presentable #solas and eludysia fucking later merely provided the tunics with another use #i hate them c:#(not cole and josie ofc)

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thejuleselliot · 3 years

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the Flaws of ‘Wonder Woman: 1984′

Fair warning: I’m gonna go longform on this one. If you want to read an essay dissecting the failures of this movie, read on. If not...

...

I wanted it to be great.

After suffering various delays over the years, I was as excited as anyone else to see it. Unfortunately, when I eventually did, I was disappointed.

The film’s many problems essentially boil down to only one: it can’t pick a side. Steve Trevor is Diana’s soulmate, or he isn’t. Barbara Minerva is Diana’s friend, or she isn’t. And, most glaringly, Maxwell Lord is either a good guy... or he just isn’t. The filmmakers themselves don’t seem to know, but they expect you, the audience, to. None of this is played out skillfully, or with a hint of nuance.

It could be argued that the majority of 1984′s problems lie with Lord. While almost every commercial or promotion for the film portrayed Wiig’s Cheetah as the film’s villain, it’s obvious upon first viewing that Pascal has spades more screen time. But the fact is, Lord is never given enough opportunity to become a menacing villain because the film never bothers to take the time to paint an accurate portrait. The first time he’s really introduced to the audience is through the eyes of Wiig’s Barbara Minerva. The meeting is awkward, even cringe-worthy. You’re meant to find him charming, yet you don’t. This is an absolute failing within the script.

When creating a villain, a screenwriter needs to make a choice: the monster you fear, or the monster you love. In the Dark Knight, Heath Ledger’s Joker inevitably fits into the former category. Through the film, he not only murders Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, he is shown to be completely unhinged on several occasions. The audience never questions for a minute that he will do anything and everything to create havoc in Gotham City. So, here, we not only have a defined personality, we have a motive.

For the latter, let’s look to Tom Hiddleston’s Loki in the first Avengers film. Loki is the charmer. Intense, but beguiling. The characters - and, by extension, the audience - is drawn in. Therefore, when he does do evil, it catches you off-guard. When he shouts, you listen.

The character of Maxwell Lord never gives you that chance. He’s been compared to the 80′s personality of Donald Trump, which is a apt description. The one issue of this, however, is that Jenkins chooses to give Lord a different dimension - that of a caring father. She can’t seem to commit to one side of the character. Is he a monster, or isn’t he? By the finale, you’re expected to believe that by reversing his actions, he’s proven what side of morality he’s on. However, without defining the limits of that morality early on, the audience lacks a personal connection to the character. A better version of the script would have eliminated the son entirely and committed entirely to a Trumpian parody, or eliminated the Trump-ishness and depicted a struggling, good-hearted businessman who allows power to corrupt him and ultimately chooses the right side in the end. Without defining clearer character boundaries, the audience is never given a chance to care what he does next.

Cheetah belies another narrative issue entirely. While Lord is complicated to the point of confusion, the script can’t seem to discern a motive for self-styled superhero Barbara Minerva. Her own introduction shows her being stepped over (literally) by coworkers at Diana’s work, the Smithsonian museum. Her supervisor can’t remember her name. Sounds bad, right?

However. It’s worth noting that we quickly learn that Barbara has started there only one week earlier. Yes, it’s pretty rude to be ignored or forgotten by your coworkers. But it’s not as if she has known them for years and still been treated this way. I wouldn’t expect a coworker or superior to have my name locked-in on week one. Barbara has started a new job, and the film never bothers to tell us what her old job was or where she's been since college. (We also learn, most upsettingly, that she has a series of impressive degrees - something we are merely told, not shown. With the exception of one scene in which she researches for Diana, she’s completely terrible at her job, and Diana constantly steps in to do it for her.) We’re meant to believe that it was simply fate that brought her to Diana, and to the path she is set on.

Quickly, Barbara proves herself to be a kind, if vaguely frenetic soul. That alone is enough potential for a lovable, Luna Lovegood-type character. However, by consistently ensuring that she is the most obnoxious person in the room, it’s difficult to gain audience sympathy. Early on, she’s attacked by a man while walking home, before quickly being saved by Diana. This kindness is forgotten, once she has successfully made Diana the villain in her mind.

Strangely, the film never really tells us why she goes after Diana so viciously. Outside of a power struggle, one from which Diana has nothing to gain, they have no disagreements, with exception of Diana’s generic, disinterested distrust in Barbara’s quickly-discarded love interest, Maxwell Lord. The Lord/Minerva subplot never really goes anywhere, burning brightly in snippets of the film’s first thirty minutes and largely disappearing for the next two hours. Jenkins decides not to treat Barbara as a woman manipulated, instead making her in charge of her own actions.

There would be merit in this, if it didn’t remove any or all motivation from Minerva’s story. Later in, Barbara seethes and makes several inane statements about being ‘special’ like Diana (during a battle, no less) and the film clumsily tries to assign this as her character motivation. At the end of the film, Barbara is electrically shocked in a way that would kill most people. The last shot shows her sitting on what appears to be a cliff, looking out at almost-Wakandan sunset, boldly copying one of Black Panther’s iconic final shots.

Another issue with Barbara stands with the film’s issues with character perspective. In the first film, almost every scene, with the exception of those with the villains, takes place from Diana’s point of view. This doesn’t work as well when employed in WW84. For one, unlike the first, the film is unable to choose a perspective. The first major scene set in the 80′s takes place in the eyes of a group of thieves who are never seen or heard from again. (We assume Lord hired them... this is never clearly stated?)

By doing this, the film suffers. Sometimes it chooses to focus on Diana’s rich and grieving state, still deeply affected from the loss of Steve Trevor. And when it does, it expects you to care. However, by choosing to focus almost equally on the emotional state of Lord and Minerva, it takes valuable screen time away from the woman with her name in the title. And all that time spent sympathizing with the villains is left wasted when the viewer struggles to find a reason to love them, and the film never tells you why.

The character assassination of Steve Trevor is its own failing. By removing him from his time, he is removed completely from his own motivations. He exists only to be a kind of spiritual guardian to Diana. He had not been brought to life by the film’s MacGuffin, it would have made little difference to his overall effect. Steve and Diana get a few moments, but they’re clumsily written and badly paced. By the end, Steve and Diana do part, and you’re left wondering why the script bothered to bring him back in the first place.

Then, Diana herself. The film opens with a woefully, painfully dull Olympic-style obstacle course, showing a eight-year-old Diana attempt to win. While doing so, she cheats, which causes her to be held back by her aunt, Antiope (R.I.P.). You hope this disappointing sequence will lead to a satisfying conclusion later on, but the only thing I could garner is that they were attempting to make a clumsy comparison to Diana’s eventual choice to leave Steve Trevor behind. (A bit of a reach. I know...)

Diana never gets much of an opportunity to be herself in this film. She performs several rescues, the first of which involves a long, intense eye-contact filled scene with a little girl.

(Who, in case you were wondering, does not come back or prove to be important later. A more discerning screenwriter would’ve had this child be Maxwell’s son, but... I digress.)

(There’s another grievance, there, and I’m going to take the opportunity to air it: this overstuffed, yet completely airheaded film takes time to tell us the backstory of a great Amazonian warrior. Do we ever meet this warrior? No.

No, we don’t - unless you count a post-credits scene where she is portrayed by Lynda Carter, who for some reason, could not be bothered to help Diana out when all of this mayhem was afoot. The part of this that annoys me most of all is that the entire backstory is created simply for the sake of justifying Diana’s new, golden eagle-wing armor, which could have otherwise been explained with four little words: ‘I took up metalworking.’”)

In conclusion...

agh.

#ww84 #wonder woman 1984 #wonder woman #gal gadot #patty jenkins #dc #dc comics #steve trevor #chris pine #pedro pascal #maxwell lord #cheetah #kristen wiig #barbara minerva #spoilers #wonder woman spoilers #wonder woman 1984 spoilers #essays #essay

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austonem · 3 years

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SANCTIONS ???

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE MAIN GOVERNMENT ISSUING SANCTIONS HASN'T BEEN SANCTIONED ??? CLEARLY THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. AND, ALMOST EVERY CONFLICT WORLDWIDE PAST OR PRESENT CAN BE TRACED BACK TO THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AS BEING THE CULPRIT !!! IS THE UNITED NATIONS IN AMERICA'S POCKET ???

THIS IS A REQUEST FOR JUSTICE, ASYLUM AND CORRECTIVE SURGERY TO REMOVE AMERICA'S ILLEGALLY IMPLANTED MICRO CHIPS FROM MY BODY. HOWEVER, IF NOTHING ELSE THIS IS A TRUTH SPREADING CAMPAIGN.

THIS IS ALSO A REQUEST TO JOIN YOUR COUNTRIES MILITARY AS A PEACE NEGOTIATOR TO THE WORLD AND WARRIOR. I HAVE SURVIVED OVER 40 YEARS OF TORTURE AND I AM BATTLE READY AT ALL TIMES. THE CRIMINALS WITHIN THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT ARE NOT WILLING TO MEET ME IN THEIR OWN INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURTS, WHICH THEY INFLUENCE HEAVILY. THEY BLOCK ALL OF MY ATTEMPTS TO CONTACT THE INTERNATIONAL COURTS FROM WITHIN AMERICA. UNOFFICIALLY THE GOVERNMENT CLAIMS THEY ARE ONLY ATTACKING CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS. HOWEVER, I ALONG WITH THOUSANDS OF OTHERS HAVE UNDENIABLE PROOF THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN ATTACKING MOST IF NOT ALL OF IT'S CITIZENS WITH VARIOUS TYPES OF DIRECTED ENERGY TORTURE FOR A LONG TIME, WITH DIRECT TIES TO THE NATION'S PHARMACEUTICAL NETWORKS.

I'VE BEEN BETRAYED BY THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT. AFTER OVER 40 YEARS OF BEING IN AMERICA'S ILLEGAL TARGETED INDIVIDUALS, ELECTRONIC TORTURE PROGRAM AGAINST MY WILL, I SEEK NOT TO DIE BEHIND ENEMY LINES. I AM A MAN WHO SEEKS GOD, WHICH THESE GODLESS WORLDWIDE CRIMINALS HAVE NO RESPECT FOR. THESE ILLEGALLY IMPLANTED MICRO CHIPS AND DIRECTED ENERGY ATTACKS ARE THE WORLD'S CURRENT BIGGEST MILITARY WEAPONS SYSTEM THREAT. EVEN MORE THAN THE ATOMIC BOMB !!! THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT CLAIMS THAT ONLY CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS ARE IN THEIR ELECTRONIC TORTURE PROGRAM UNOFFICIALLY. HOWEVER, I ALONG WITH THOUSANDS OF OTHERS HAVE UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN TARGETING MOST IF NOT ALL OF IT'S CITIZENS WITH VARIOUS TYPES OF ELECTRONIC TORTURE EXPOSURE FOR A LONG TIME, WITH A DIRECT LINK TO THE COUNTRY'S PHARMACEUTICAL MARKETS.

REQUEST FOR ASYLUM AND LEGAL ASSISTANCE AGAINST THE AMERICAN MURDERING REGIME. AND, IF NOTHING ELSE PLEASE HELP SPREAD THE TRUTH !!!

TARGETED INDIVIDUAL, ELECTRONIC TORTURE SURVIVOR, ATTACKED BY THE US GOVERNMENT.

“ CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY “

Not Only Has The American Government Been Killing Innocent People All Over The World, They Have A Long History Of Killing Their Own Citizens As Well. Like The Attacks On 9/11 Where The American Government Killed It's Own Citizens And Blamed It On Someone Else. ( 9/11 Truth Movement, Loose Change 9/ 11 Truth, Afghanistan War Exposed An Imperial Or Ex. Governor Jesse Ventura's 9/11 Questions ) Review The Information And Make Your Own Conclusions. There Is Also The Fact That The Vietnam War Was Stated Over A Lie According To Declassified Military Documents And Ex Governor Jesse Ventura, Who Fought In The Vietnam War. This Is Overwhelmingly Similar To What Was Attempted With "Operation North Woods 1962" In Which Criminals Within The US Government Attempted To Start An Illegal War With Cuba, To Which The President At That Time, President John F. Kennedy Refused And Removed The Top Military Officials Who Suggested This Act Of Illegal War. It Has Long Been Argued That Because President John F. Kennedy Showed That He Would Not Cooperate With The Long Standing Criminal Elements Within The American Government And Military That He Was Assassinated, Along With His Brother Robert Kennedy And Even His Son Who Died In A Suspicious Plane Crash Many Years Later. Or, The Many Times The American Government Exposed It's Own Military Members To Deadly Chemicals In Illegal Wars And Lied To Their Own Soldiers And Their Families ( The Marshall Islands Experiments And The Soldiers Who Were Part Of The Bikini Islands Clean Up Crew Along With Every War This Country Has Ever Participated In). There Is A Long Well Proven History Where These Soldiers Later Die Early Deaths As A Direct Result Of Exposure To Various Deadly Chemicals. I Know Because My Father Was One Of Those Soldiers. And, The Veterans Administration Hospital Top Representatives Have Admitted, Only Within The Last Year, That They Are Not Equipped To Test For Exposures To Toxic Chemicals Or Treat Exposures To Toxic Chemicals. Now Within The Last Two Years I've Figured Out That For Over 40 Years The American Government Has Been Attacking Me And My Family With Their Illegal Targeted Individuals Electronic Torture Program Where They Slowly Torture You To Death. This Criminal Activity By The US Government Is The Next Multi Trillions Of Dollars Money Making Weapons System. These Activities Are Clearly Recognized By the International Community As Crimes Against Humanity. I Know As A Victim That These Murdering Criminals Can Make You Feel Sick When Your Not Sick, They Can Make You Feel Pain, They Can Cause Burns On You're Skin, Or Cause Sores On Your Skin, They Can Artificially Control Your Breathing And Respiratory System Or Mimic A Heart Attack, They Can Make You Feel As Though You Crave Certain Foods Or Drinks, Make You Want To Hear A Particular Song Or Watch A Certain Show, Or Even Affect Your Mood Along With Many Other Sick Sadistic Things They Do. I'm well aware of what they're doing when I'm awake and concise so I Just Turn Everything They Attempt Off. However, The Pain Is Very Much Real And when I'm asleep they have a way to make me concise when I'm Actually Unconscious And Do All Kinds Of Sick Un Godly Things That I Would Gladly Choose Death Over Being A Part Of The Things They Do. Most of Which I Can't Remember When I Wake Up. However, In my case as Many People Have Seen, They document their activities and share them with Everyone Except Me it Seems. If These Murdering Sick Sadistic Criminals who are worst than the Nazi's are not stopped; You Can Clearly See The Entire World Is In

MAJOR DANGER !!!

My Only Choice Is To Relocate To Any Country That Will Stand Up For The Law. A Legal Action In An International Court Like The United Nations Must Be Taken Immediately. As For The TI Victims, There Has To Be TI Safe Houses And TI Communities.

All TI’S HAVE TO UNITE & FIGHT TOGETHER & SEPARATELY !!!

THE US GOVERNMENT IS RUNNING THIS ILLEGAL PROGRAM UNDER THE NATIONAL SECURITY UMBRELLA WHICH COVERS THE MILITARY, POLICE & ALL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES. BY CLAIMING NATIONAL SECURITY THEY ARE ILLEGALLY OPERATING ABOVE THE LAW & CONSTITUTION. THE INTERNATIONAL COURTS HOWEVER, RECOGNIZES THESE ACTS AS ILLEGAL AND CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY.

AMERICA IS A GREAT NATION. HOWEVER MURDERING CRIMINALS HAVE INFILTRATED IT'S GOVERNMENT.

FROM THE INFORMATION I’VE SEEN, THIS ELECTRONIC TORTURE SYSTEM WAS FIRST DEVELOPED IN NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMPS AND FURTHER DEVELOPED INTO WHAT THEY HAVE TODAY.

MILLIONS OF INNOCENT VICTIMS HAVE ALREADY DIED AS A RESULT OF THIS PROGRAM. NONE OF THE VICTIMS HAVE EVER BEEN CHARGED IN ANY COURT OF LAW. THIS IS FIRST DEGREE CAPITAL MURDER WHICH CARRIES A MANDATORY DEATH SENTENCE ACCORDING TO THE US LAW. YET, NOT ONE PERSON IN THE US GOVERNMENT HAS EVER BEEN CHARGED. CURRENTLY THERE ARE MILLIONS MORE IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SLOWLY TORTURED TO DEATH THROUGH THIS SAME PROGRAM.

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A BUNCH OF OVERGROWN INFANTS AND TYRANTS WHO HAVE INFILTRATED THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT, WITH A FAIRLY NEW DEVICE WITH WHICH THEY'RE LOOKING TO TURN ANYONE THEY CHOOSE INTO SLAVES CONTROLLED BY COMPUTERS. THIS IS CURRENTLY BEING DONE IN OTHER COUNTRIES ALSO.

GOD DOES NOT INTEND FOR ANY HUMAN TO BE ENSLAVED BY OTHER HUMANS OR THEIR DEVICES.

THIS IS A REQUEST FOR LEGAL ASSISTANCE AND ASYLUM.

This is a Call to hold the American Government Responsible for their Acts & Actions, Just as they do everyone else. Justice And Freedom is the purpose of this request.There are Trillions of Dollars that have already been generated through the Governments Illegal Acts. I am a Victim Of Crimes Against Humanity. I am Constantly Tortured, Used in Human Experiments, Exposed to Violent Traumas, Forced into Sick Sadistic Sexual Acts, Stolen from, Subjected to Attempted Murder, Exposed To Tainted Foods and Beverages & Many other forms of Criminal Activities. The Government is Clearly Manipulating The Law In Order To Break The Law. What's needed here is Legal Representation. Again, there are already Trillions of Dollars that have already been generated through the US Government's Illegal Actions. What's needed now is the Legal Expertise to Start The Process Of Collecting These Funds While Holding The US Government Responsible For Their " CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY " NO ONE SHOULD BE ABOVE THE LAW !!! Especially The US Government.

An International Court Action Must Be Taken Now !!!

Auston Matthews

929-313-1866

[email protected]

TI Survivor, Warrior. "THE RESISTANCE"

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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I will personally never understand why the "bird conversation" happened. Qrow basically shut it down, by (I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he did) saying they agreed to taking the ability. It feels like we're being told to take Raven at face value, despite other, more trustworthy charecters speaking to the contrary.

He did. Basic rundown of the conversation: Yang enters it pissed off, they learn all the revelations that the rest of the group got a few episodes back, Ozpin asks if this was “more or less what your mother told you,” Yang straight up ignores him and Weiss has to answer for her with, “for the most part.” This finally makes Yang angry enough to respond with “You forgot to tell everyone what you did to Qrow and my mother,” there are gasps and horrified looks from the group, but we get a shot of Qrow smiling and going “oh great”---he knows this secret isn’t a big deal but that convincing the others of that won’t be easy.

Ozpin explains about the power while Yang pouts on the couch. Nora angrily accuses Ozpin of “messing with us” (even though you all took way stranger things at face value... like reincarnation...), Jaune crosses his arm and adds “What else is new?” Despite these explanations with no downsides mentioned, Yang is still furious: “Why would you do something like that? I mean, what is wrong with you?”

She gets antagonistic enough that Qrow shuts her down and then explicitly states, “We made a choice. We wanted this.”

Ozpin then looks to Qrow and asks permission---“May I?”---in order to explain further, detailing that he needed allies to search for Maidens and keep an eye on Salem’s movements. The question heavily implies what should already be obvious: this was Qrow’s secret to keep and tell. Why is everyone gunning for Ozpin when Qrow, the person with the actual ability, likewise made the choice to keep that from his family? These explanations segue into the reveal that Ozpin created the first four Maidens and he ends his speech by admitting that “it was never my intention to lie to you.” He and Qrow share a knowing look as he admits that he “plays things close to the chest” which honestly, to me, reads as two war-worn adults acknowledging that this shit is complicated. You keep secrets, you tell lies, you do what you need to in order to survive and keep others safe. Look at these youngsters who think that non-stop honesty is always the way to go. Or is in any way easy even when it should be done:

Yang still looks pissed as hell despite thoroughly being proven wrong

and then makes her announcement that she’ll stay if Ruby stays, but no more secrets or half-truths. Ozpin agrees with “Understood.”

Which, obviously, the fandom has used as the go-to moment to damn Ozpin. You promised not to lie and then you did! Which yeah, that isn’t great. He should have been honest here in his inability to promise such a thing. However, that’s not the only factor in all this. We also have the fact that “no more lies or half truths” does not equal “tell us every single detail about this war right now that includes your very personal and traumatic history.” We have the issue that Yang and many of the others (notably Jaune) were unwilling to judge Ozpin fairly from the get-go. They decided that he was guilty before the trail even began and, when faced with evidence that proved all their assumptions wrong, decided to ignore it rather than admitting they were wrong. You’re going to trust a group like that with world-altering secrets? And we finally have the issue that Yang herself clearly doesn’t believe in her own ultimatums. Or doesn’t think they should apply to her. Keeping Raven’s Maiden power a secret? Turning on Ironwood to spill the beans to Robyn and letting her escape? I don’t put must stock in a character’s outraged, “You kept secrets and lied?” when they’re keeping secrets and lying too. The group’s inability to make the jump from “Wow. Sometimes we do need to keep information close to the chest” to “Oh. I guess it makes sense then that Ozpin would do the same thing” is one of the things that still characterizes them as naive, hypocritical, and downright dangerous given the stakes.

From a fandom perspective though, I’m not at all surprised that a completely unambiguous admission from Qrow---“We made a choice. We wanted this”---holds no weight. 1. Because he’s another adult that can’t be trusted (see: the group turning on him with their weapons in the snow) and 2. Because the concept of a “choice” apparently disappears whenever Ozpin is thrown into the mix. This is the same thing we’ve seen regarding Pyrrha, the claim that she couldn’t really make a choice. It was never a choice at all. She was manipulated/pressured/steered into being a Maiden so the choice is only a “choice.” Ozpin is still at fault. Now here’s Qrow, saying he made a choice, and fans tend to talk over that with, “No. You only thought you had a choice but I’m sure Ozpin did something off screen that puts him at fault” (see: Qrow saying straight out that Ozpin doesn’t know what happened to Summer and everyone jumping to, “No he definitely does and just lied to Qrow.” Ozpin’s off screen villainy is brought up with a shocking amount of frequency) The fandom takes headcanons and assumptions as fact, leading to an inability to attribute agency to anyone if Ozpin was at all involved in their choice. Ruby entering Beacon, Pyrrha deciding to take on the power, Qrow choosing to be a bird... all of it has been re-framed as Ozpin “forcing” them in one manner or another, which is not only untrue but a real disservice to all their characters. The only time Ozpin “forced” someone to do anything is when he forced Oscar to get involved in this fight, and that’s only “forcing” via unavoidable circumstances. Yeah, technically you could let the farm boy live out his life and just screw the rest of the world... but that would make you a villain via inaction. As someone who was given an actual uninformed choice via the God of Light, Ozpin does a great deal to make sure people know what they’re getting into. Checking at the very last second if Pyrrha is still willing to go through with this. Telling the group to leave now if they’re not wiling to help secure the relic. It’s just that he has to balance that transparency with the never ending risk of information falling into the wrong hands/someone else betraying him... which is no easy task. Do you look at the angry teenager who took her bandit mother’s words at face value and go, “Yes, now is a great time to tell them information that as of yet in no way affects them and would absolutely decimate their mental health at best and lead to them screwing me over at worst”? No. That’s stupid and dangerous and, based on how the group has reacted thus far, just going to make the whole situation that much worse.

#rwby #mymetas #oddnub

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revengerevisited · 4 years

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Maddie rambles about Kingdom Hearts: Dark Road

Let’s just get this outta the way: Xehanort is my least favorite character in Kingdom Hearts. Now there are certainly more boring and underdeveloped characters but as far as evil deeds go, it doesn’t matter how ‘cute’ or ‘relatable’ Nomura tries to make Xehanort. I will never forget that he tore Ven’s heart in half, tortured Vanitas for four years, killed his own best friend, possessed Terra’s body for a decade, possessed Riku’s body as Ansem, unleashed Heartless on the worlds resulting in countless deaths, manipulated Organization XIII for years, and experimented on Kairi as a child and eventually murdered her in front of her best friends. Any attempt to make me sympathize with him just ain’t gonna work.

Also, I’m not taking any of these ‘Character X is secretly Character Y’ theories too seriously until they actually happen. Yes, it can be fun to speculate that Bragi or Odin is secretly Luxu or the Master of Masters, or that Brain is Eraqus’s ancestor, or that Demyx is the MoM, or that Ava or Vor is Kairi’s grandma, or whatever other theories are out there. But until there’s conclusive evidence that’s all they are, speculations and theories.

On that note, I don’t know why Xehanort is having dreams about the KHUX Player’s adventures but I don’t think it’s because Xehanort is the Player’s Nobody or a reincarnation of the Player. Reincarnation has never been a concept present in the KH series, and honestly it just sounds like bad fanfiction. Plus, if Xehanort does turn out to be the Player, then I feel bad for everyone who spent a lot of time creating their own unique character only to have it be replaced by the generic default Player in KHDR’s opening cutscene and then re-replaced by Xehanort of all people. Perhaps Xehanort simply has a unique, unexplained power to see into the past like Namine’s memory manipulation or Terra’s precognition.

Either way, this past-sight just makes it harder and harder for me to believe that Xehanort wanted to learn about the Keyblade War in BBS, since it seems he already knew all he needs to know. Xemnas knows that Luxord, Marluxia, Demyx, and Larxene are from the past, young Xehanort lives in Scala ad Caelum which was built over the ruins of Daybreak Town complete with a huge machine explaining Daybreak Town’s demise, Eraqus talks about the Book of Prophecies like it’s common knowledge, the list goes on. Also, I don’t like the implication that Xehanort chose Ventus as his vessel and later as material for the X-Blade only because he knows him from the Player’s dreams. Then again, if his dreams of the Keyblade War end before the Player meets Ven and Lauriam, then Xehanort wouldn’t know about them and would instead be more familiar with Skuld and Ephemer.

I will say that one thing I do like is Xehanort comparing himself to a starfish laying on the beach, both for the humorous imagery and also just a bit of that islander backstory flavor. Xehanort being the outsider of his friends group and not telling the whole truth of how he ended up in Scala is also an interesting Kairi parallel, although him being found unconscious in the middle of a city is kinda overused. I do like that the surrounding cities around Scala are all uninhabited, since trying to wrap my mind around these huge mountain-sized cities with potentially millions of people in them was a little too much for my brain to handle.

I do however find it quite bizarre that it’s taken some worlds so long to recover from the Keyblade War. Not only that, but apparently people just appear out of thin air once their world is restored. Like, how? It just feels weird and uncomfortable, almost like these people only exist for the protagonist and audience’s amusement rather than being independent living beings in their own right. I dunno, there’s just something deeply unsettling about those implications. It also makes me wonder how long ago the Keyblade War was, if places like Agrabah still aren’t finished only 75-ish years before KH1. The characters refer to it as a legend, so it must’ve happened a long time ago, right? Some fans think it’s only been 100 years since the Keyblade War, but that would be like the equivalent of calling World War 1 a legend.

The worlds all being on different timescales is also extremely headache-inducing, both as analyst and a fanfic writer trying to keep track of the plot. Couple that with time travel and the whole thing just falls apart. Of course, if each world runs at a different time, then perhaps this is why Xehanort looks so much older than Eraqus, or rather why Eraqus looks so relatively young when he’s supposed to be 80-ish years old. And if that’s the case, then do any of the characters’ ages really matter? I’ve already proven that their ages have been retconned before. Also, this renders timecodes such as ‘75 years later’ and ‘one year later’ from Re:Mind and other parts of the series completely meaningless. The timeline is broken.

Anyway, I’m not sure how much Norse Mythology will play into the story, but all the new characters have Norse names with two that stand out the most. The first is Master Odin, named after a Norse god who sacrificed one of his own eyes for knowledge, which is an interesting parallel to the MoM. The second is Baldr, the as of yet unseen seventh student who has a missing sister, because evidently Nomura likes recycling his previous plots before they’ve even finished. In Norse Mythology, Baldr is the god of light whose death kickstarts the events of Ragnarok. How this’ll be relevant in KHDR remains to be seen, but after seeing those four gravestones in the timeskip/flashforward, I can’t imagine this ending well for anyone not named Eraqus or Xehanort.

Now, as funny as I find it that the new characters have all been killed off this quickly, I’m not entirely convinced that those are Urd, Hermod, Bragi, and Vor’s graves. They could actually be the graves of the missing upperclassmen, if some of them turn up dead. Speaking of the upperclassmen, I would hope that Yen Sid is one of them, but I have a feeling he won’t be allowed to show up simply because of Disney’s stranglehold on its own IP. It’s pretty sad and ironic seeing as this series used to be all about Disney, but I assume that’s why Nomura is straying further and further from the brand.

About the four new student characters, I don’t have any particular attachment to any of them, beyond Vor’s name being hilariously unfortunate. I find it a bit eye-rolling that fans continuously snub Kairi but will instantly latch onto any new characters like Yozora and these four despite barely knowing anything about them. It doesn’t help that, and please correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that any of the four who you choose to be in your trio will have the exact same dialogue in cutscenes no matter who you pick, meaning that these new characters don’t even get much of a chance to develop their own personalities because all of their dialogue has to be generic and bland enough to fit all four of them.

Young Eraqus is probably the best character so far, simply because he’s the only one with any personality. Granted his supposed cowardice has yet to be seen, but it’s mentioned so often that I assume it’s gonna be an important plot point later. However, I’m finding it hard to relate young Eraqus with his adult counterpart seeing as their personalities are just so different. I’m aware there’s a 65-ish year gap between this Eraqus and older Eraqus, but there better be some major character development to explain this, especially since even standing in front of his presumed classmate’s graves he still seems fairly chipper.

On that note, as humorous as ‘Tardy Fleetfoot’ is, just like with Xehanort, don’t think I’ve forgotten that this guy caused Terra’s insecurity and self-doubt with his overzealous anti-darkness stance, probably heavily influenced Aqua’s black-and-white anti-darkness keyblade-first-ask-questions-later thinking, was also probably the one who told her to lie to Ventus about always living with them, and attempted to straight up kill Ven and Terra. Eraqus’s actions aren��t as bad as Xehanort’s, but they certainly aren’t acceptable in any capacity.

Something odd I noticed is that Eraqus knows what the Heartless are called, and even the difference between Pureblood and Emblem Heartless-- well, part of the difference; I’m assuming he doesn’t know that future Xehanort created them. But anyway, my point is that Aqua doesn’t know what the Heartless are called until Mickey tells her in BBS 0.2. Before that she simply calls them ‘dwellers of darkness’, and even mistakes one for an Unversed. Does this mean Eraqus never taught his students about the Heartless? Why? Perhaps after his classmates died, he decided to shelter his own students from the worlds, hence why their Mark of Mastery was so simple? I’m just guessing at this point. Of course, there’s still no real explanation as for why the Emblem Heartless are here in the past. My best theory is that someone used the Book of Prophecies to summon them... somehow. It really just seems like an excuse to gloss over the corner Nomura wrote himself into with the whole ‘Emblem Heartless were made by Ansem’ thing, but we’ll see.

Honestly this whole series is just one big endless death-spiral of constant retcons and nonsensical plot twists and at this point I’m just exhausted. My view on KH has become one of mild and morbid curiosity, rather than expecting anything truly great. Is that cynical? Yes, but I’ve watched other once-great series (Star Wars, Voltron) worsen over time to the point that they just fizzle out and die, and I’m afraid it’s the same deal with Kingdom Hearts. I don’t think I’ve truly enjoyed a KH game since BBS, and if the series just continues down the path of introducing bland new characters every time Nomura gets bored rather than developing the already established ones, I don’t know how long I can stay interested. The Dark Seeker Saga is over and he really needs to let Xehanort go.

To end this on a positive note, I am tentatively hopeful about Melody of Memory. The gameplay looks cute and fun and the story looks like it will have more development for Kairi and her backstory, which is something I’ve been wanting for a while now. Focusing on the original cast is definitely a step in the right direction, and I hope this series can keep moving forwards rather than backwards.

#khdr

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

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Legacy - Re-Review #26

We’ve made it! The end of Series 1 is here!

“This is so not good.”

Yeah, I’m with you Gordon.

Because with the end of series one here, of course, so is The Hood. You can’t have a series finale without your series villain. Wouldn’t it be disastrous if this image was how it all ended? Yeah, no thank you. Still, it has to be said that his timing has not improved - because, excuse me Hood, but you don’t interrupt a girl when she’s trying to tell her family something really important! Seriously, this family hardly ever get the time they should together and he interrupts them for a trick? I’m not even going to mention how well planned and thought out it was because I don’t want to be giving the villain credit, but damn he is intelligent.

"Next time.”

“I just hope I’m not too late.”

“Me too.”

And of course we all know that means that it will be. I also love how right from the start in ‘Ring of Fire’, Grandma has been shown to know the truth. She’s a good secret keeper.

Legacy - good title for many reasons. International Rescue was always seen and implied to be Jeff’s legacy, so it makes complete sense.

“It’s like the perfect storm of emergencies all across the globe.”

Of course it is. Because The Hood is actually a good, but ultimately bad, villain!

And look at Grandma back in the main seat and helping out.

“And I’ll take over monitor duty!”

She sounded so happy with that option.

That Island launch for Thunderbird Four though... I have been waiting to see that for a long, long time. It kind of tributes to TOS ‘Terror in New York City’ which saw the only island launch of T4. I know (now of course, but I didn’t know it then), that we will see this launch procedure a few more times, but this first instance made me so, so happy!

And that launch montage that went with it was perfection.

“Everything is RAD.”

“RAD?”

“That’s my new catch phrase..?”

“Alright then.”

But let’s all be honest, everything is not RAD, or even FAB.

No, there’s trouble ahead!

“Tracy Island has been compromised!”

Kayo realised it, which is probably the lifesaving fact of this episode, because else it might have taken Lady P some time to realise and who knows what trouble The Hood could have caused (beyond what he does get away with anyway). Seriously though, this should have been a little expected from ‘Ring of Fire’. Apparently The Hood is good at making explosive devises.

“Scott, I’m back on the Island, we have a situation.”

“You’re not the only one. I’m looking at some kind of explosive devise.”

“Me too.”

“Same here.”

“It’s all of us.”

“You were right about us being tricked, Kayo.”

“That’s not our only problem. Tracy Island has a visitor.”

“Nice view. I think I’ll take it.”

Ur... Mr Hood... You are aware that this isn’t Homes under the Hammer or Escape to the Country or anything like that right? This is Thunderbirds Are Go - which kinda means the Island isn’t on the market.

“You lured every one of us into a trap.”

“And yet only you were able to see through it.”

Yep, family, I’m calling it - and I’ll explain my thinking on it later on in the review.

“When it comes to family, I’m a man of my word.”

I’m sure he is. Well, actually I think he could be. I think that could be the one honest quote The Hood has ever given us. After all, he did save Kayo’s life in ‘Touch and Go’ and he didn’t have to.

“It’s funny how our lives took such different paths. You on a fool’s mission to save the world. And me-”

“Bent on destroying it?”

“Hardly. I want to build. Create. Sometimes that means starting with a clean slate.”

See now that is the sort of brilliant back story hints I’m also going to talk about a bit later! I really wish they’d continued to the end. And let’s just ignore The Hood’s little bit of poetry in that last line. I don’t think he realised that create and slate rhymed... If he did, maybe he’s in the wrong business.

“Execute WASP protocol Alpha.”

That’s another nice reference to TOS backstory considering Gordon worked for WASP.

“I am not amused, Kayo! What have you done?”

Turned into Queen Victoria (apparently) have you now, Hood?

Hmm... anyone see the resemblance..? Because I don’t.

“You have to trust me.”

“Trust? Would he trust you knowing the kind of secrets you’ve been keeping?”

Here we go.

“What’s he talking about.”

“She’s been working for me the whole time.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Is it? And would I be lying when I tell them I’m your Uncle?”

“Kayo, is this true?”

“Yes, it’s true. The Hood is my uncle.”

“The Hood is your uncle? The same evil mastermind responsible for us losing Dad?”

Yes and yes, Gordon. But let’s see in the end we do know about most families that blood is thicker and water, and that family can always be the one we chose, not the one we have by strict genetics.

“There’s only one question we need to be asking ourselves now. What would Dad do?”

Well your Dad knew and still kept her as part of the family so... Yeah, I think they come to the right decision channeling their Father. After all, The Hood was responsible for them losing Jeff, Kayo played no part in that.

I’d also like to say that Grandma and MAX have a pretty good apprehension plan;

“You two look hungry.”

Cue tray of burnt cookies... yeah, I’d rather them than us.

Look at this team of brother’s. They’re unstoppable at the best of times, but we actually forget about a lot of the ground work that Kayo does which is what actually allows these boys to swoop in and be the heroes.

Yes, they probably would have coped, but had they not turned up, I’m pretty sure Kayo still would have had a back-up plan to make sure The Hood didn’t get away. In fact, we should remember that the boys being able to be here to stop The Hood was essentially also part of Kayo’s (hoped) plan.

International Rescue may not be in the “bad guy chasing business” unless they’re making “exceptions”, but the fact is that Kayo, like a shadow (much like the deserved name of her Thunderbird), is always looking out for them even when we don’t necessarily see it. The fact is that her knowing The Hood as her Uncle probably made her know him better. There is a proven statistic that you are more likely to die at the hand of someone that you know. It is also proven that you are more likely to be able to survive at the hands of someone you know - because you know them well enough to either be able to predict or manipulate what they will do.

Kayo may not live with The Hood and she may not accept him as her family, but the fact is, she still knows he lives and thrives off manipulation and mind tricks, and she reflects those right back at him in getting him to think he is gaining and then blowing up Tracy Island. Throwing his own tricks right back at him... pretty successful plan I’d say.

The Hood’s face as they break apart his ship! That was well warranted though in my opinion, and really if we look back at The Hood’s history of escape attempts in TOS we should have known they’d catch up with him in TAG eventually. I mean (warning: big TOS spoilers ahead), we had;

A plane crash [into a building] (’Martian Invasion’)

Car tumbling into a river (’The Edge of Impact’)

Flooded, crashed and exploded submarine (’Desperate Intruder’)

Car falling off a crumbling cliff side (’Cry Wolf’)

Car shot at, set alight, and tumbling over a cliff (’Trapped in the Sky’)

But crucially, he always survived them all - even though I personally think the events of ‘Trapped in the Sky’ and ‘Martian Invasion’ had very slim chances of survival. On the other hand, in ‘Cry Wolf’ he got lucky to be caught on the cliff side and so not in the upturned car - which is actually highly probably in cliff side car falls, because clothes snag on rock and vine (although injuries are usually major, like internal bleeding or debris puncture wounds). But from all that Scott could see it did look highly probable that he couldn’t have survived;

“He couldn’t have stood a chance. Well I guess that’s the last crooked game you’ll ever play.” (Scott, ‘Cry Wolf’)

In fact, out of the six episodes in which The Hood was the main villain, he only made a clean getaway in ‘The Mighty Atom’ and the others - in most real life cases - would have resulted in series injury and/or death. So we should have expected his clean getaways in TAG - ‘Crosscut’, ‘Fireflash’, ‘Unplugged’, ‘Under Pressure’, ‘Touch and Go’ - would eventually come to an end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9pq-4ojxFA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXokXzofNjs

Back when TAG first aired, it was kinda rumoured that Amazon had funded more series’, so I kinda knew The Hood would probably be back in some way, shape or form, but re-watching it again now, I can see all the clues in the animation of how The Hood takes his defeat.

For all the ‘scooby-doo’ moments of-

“Curse those stupid boys, curse their stupid father, curse International Rescue!” (’Cry Wolf’)

As a side note I could go on here about how disappointed i was with TAG’s backstory on The Hood, especially considering this implication and all the one’s they gave us prior, but I’m actually going to do that (and the rest of this) in a separate post, so keep your eyes open.

-along with a miraculous escape which they gave us in TOS, in this it’s defeat taken quietly in the end and that gave everything away; no villain of The Hood’s caliber would go quietly. Not to mention, we know he’s smart and has some serious tech, for we saw him get into a GDF jail to see Janus in ‘Chain of Command’. No cell can hold him and now we’re ready for series 2.

And to end with, this soundtrack is legendary - and not just for the CD cover - I completely recommend it!

By the way, as a complete side note, has anyone else (in the UK at least) noticed all the TV glitches lately? Little coloured lines and patches jumping across the screen or scenes pushing and then skipping ahead a couple seconds? I ask just out of pure interest!

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ruleroflimbo-a · 4 years

Text

Shattered Trust || Discord

Events: Illyana confronts Erik after learning the truth about Supergirl’s part in the siege Date: sometime after the siege and creation of Genosha Involved: Illyana Rasputin and Magneto @master-of-magnetism Mentioned: Supergirl @maidenxfmight Trigger warnings: manipulation tw, mind control tw, threats tw, delusional thinking tw, child abuse mention tw Word count: 1,989

ILLYANA: After Illyana had found out the truth about how Magneto managed to get Supergirl to help destroy the bridges she wanted to kill someone, she'd tried to calm down a little before going to see Magneto but she didn't have much success in doing so. As she teleported to Erik, her sword in hand and white energy surrounding her, it wasn't hard to tell she was pissed. Her skin had turned red, her eyes glowing and demon claws in place of her fingers. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out the truth Мудак?" When Illy was drunk or mad her Russian accent sometimes slipped through, she was beyond mad now though, instead of the Russian accent her voice had turned somewhat demonic. It was more Darkchylde's voice than Illyana's at this point.

ERIK: Illyana hadn't been to Genosha since they raised the island, but frankly, that concern had been on the bottom of Erik's list. He had a country to organize, a funeral to plan, countless tasks to throw himself into so he didn't have to think about what was missing.

If Illya had been hurt, Jean or Rogue would've known, undoubtedly, and if she simply didn't care to come back yet? Erik wasn't going to drag her.

So of course she came back in the middle of an evening where he had a mountain of work to be doing. And of course she looked like this, ready to fight--ready to kill.

Ah. Another oversight.

Erik raised his hands slightly as he pushed himself out of his seat, attention flipping solely to Illyana. There was no question what she was talking about.

"I didn't think you were close enough to Supergirl's camp that it'd be a problem when you did," Erik answered slowly, in Russian--something to help calm her, with any luck. "I did what was necessary, Illya."

ILLYANA: Healing Donna had taken a lot of her energy, she'd gone to Limbo after to regain her strength before going to confront Erik and to maybe calm down a little, she'd only really succeeded in the former, which was obvious by her appearance and voice. Erik's words didn't help her anger and she was struggling to hold herself back, to keep in control.

He's not worth losing control over.

"If you knew I was going to find out why bother lying to me and-" she cut herself off as she tried to keep her anger contained. "What, did you just think the demon with only part of a soul wouldn't care?" She managed to keep from raising her voice, it wasn't needed to show how angry she was. Her glowed red when he said he only did what was necessary, one of Darkchylde's traits rather than the white glow Illy's eyes usually had. "How was what you did to Supergirl necessary exactly?"

ERIK: "I didn't lie," he answered, immediately. "I left out a few details, yes, but nothing I told you was false. I needed to make sure that Jean wouldn't find out during the seige. Being that she's a telepath, it was important that no one else knew the whole story."

Oh, for g-d's sake. Erik's lips thinned in annoyance at the accusation, and he barely resisted the urge to snap at her. As if he'd ever thought any less of her for her attachment to Limbo or the state of her soul. "It has nothing to do with you and your soul, Illya. As far as I knew, you didn't have any attachments that would make what happened to Supergirl any more serious than what happened to any of the humans during the siege."

Her appearance and tone were becoming more and more demonic with every word, and Erik watched her carefully, ready to defend himself if need be. "I needed the bridges taken apart while I was at the UN. Lorna didn't have the control to take them all apart quickly enough, and anyone else who could do so was needed elsewhere. I certainly couldn't do it while I was speaking--even my attention can only split so far. Supergirl was a logical choice--it made it look like she was on our side, which was a much-needed boost of credibility, she got the job done quickly, and she'd seemed sympathetic to our cause before. She just needed a nudge. I helped her." There's not a trace of falsehood, in tone or in expression--that he believes the words he's saying is clear as day.

ILLYANA: "Lying by omission is still lying" Belasco had been a fan of that, always leaving out details to make sure Illyana did what he wanted, to manipulate her into being his obedient daughter and apprentice. Erik doing almost the same made her blood boil, making it harder to keep her anger under control. "Telepaths can't read my mind" Jean was the only one Illyana let read her mind but the only one who knew she'd lowered her shields for her was Jean and Katya.

"I don't have any attachment to Supergirl" she really didn't, she'd only met her once as Darkchylde and she was pretty sure she'd tried to kill the girl of steel. "I don't care about who it was, I care about the line you crossed" it was a line Illyana would never cross, not after what Belasco did to her as a child, not after Darkchylde, and she was certainly not going to stand with someone who was willing to cross that line either. "And don't call me Illya, you don't get to call me that anymore."

A small part of Illyana had hoped Erik would be able to ease her anger towards him if she spoke to him, that he showed some sign that he regretted what he'd done, but there was nothing. Out of the two of them it seemed Illyana was the one left with regret, regret that she'd ever trusted Erik, that she'd followed him, helped him with his plans. She should have known better. "I could have taken down the bridges and still gone to Stark Tower" she could have teleported to the bridges, have them destroyed and be back with the others not even a second after she left. "No" she said, almost shouted "you don't get to stand here and justify what you did, if you had convinced Supergirl to help simply by talking to her that's one thing. You crossed a line when you used something that affected her mind" she wanted to scream, she wanted to send him to the darkest hell dimension she could think of. "I can't believe I ever trusted in you, you're no better than Belasco."

ERIK: He wasn't going to sit here and argue semantics with her. If she viewed what he'd said as a lie, she was entitled to her thoughts. Erik knew what lines he would and wouldn't cross for himself. ( Didn't he? ) "What line? The Kryptonite? Why would I not use any resources I can to win? She's not one of us, and I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do already. She was angry, and burying it. She would've snapped eventually, I simply gave her a nudge at the opportune time. I didn't get into her mind--anything she did, or agreed to do, she did on her own."

It wasn't the same as mind control. Wasn't the same as the notion that had kept him terrified of telepaths for years. He'd given her a nudge, and let her do the rest. She might not like it in the aftermath, but he helped her.

He did.

"What do you want to hear, Illyana?" he snapped at last, thin patience running down to the wire, "If not justification? I did what I did because I believed it was the best course of action, and it worked. I'm not going to apologize for opening her eyes. There's not a person on this island who doesn't know that I will do whatever it takes to make our people safe." Erik lowered his hands, knuckles going white against the tabletop. "We won, Illyana. We sacrificed, but we won. We have a home, now. Supergirl is back to normal, the humans believed she was on our side enough to speed along negotiations, and we won. If you came here expecting an apology for that, I'm afraid you're going to be sorely disappointed. Sometimes war means making difficult choices, and the consequences--" his voice cracked, briefly "--of those rest on my head, not yours. If you truly believe I'm no better than he is, no one will force you to stay here under my leadership. You're quite old enough to make your own decisions."

ILLYANA: Her grip on her sword tightened as red glow from it grew brighter, reflecting Illyana's anger. "There's a difference between wanting to do something and actually doing it" her voice was calmer now, if not for the demonic tone to it this could have seemed like a normal conversation. Anyone who knew Illyana would know the calm anger was not a good sign. "If she wouldn't have done what she did without the influence of the Kryptonite then she didn't do it on her own" was he really so delusional or did he simply not care about what he'd done? "Do you even know the guilt that comes with something like this? I do" when she was missing her soul she had done plenty of things she wanted to do but never would have if she hadn't lost her soul and the guilt of that was still with her. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the people she'd hurt, the people she had killed and it wasn't something she'd ever want someone else to go through.

"There is no justification for what you did" she told him, her words cold and detached, she really was beyond anger now and if this went any further she wasn't sure what she would do. "What you did to her would be the same as if you forced me to turn back into Darkchylde, back into a soulless monster" maybe that was one of the reasons she was so angry about this, why this had shattered any trust she had in Erik. He'd proven he was capable of something like this, why should she think he wouldn't do something like that to her if he found a way? She wanted to hurl her sword at him and into his chest, watch the life drain from his eyes... if she had less control she might have done exactly that, but she held back because she still had a soul, even if it was part of it. "You might be worse than him, at least he doesn't have a soul, or the ability to feel guilt" she never thought she'd ever think someone was worse than her adopted father.

"But you're right, Supergirl isn't one of you" she said as she fully changed into her demon form "and neither am I." She was more demon than mutant, she'd never really felt like she fit in with them.

The freak among freaks.

Most of them looked at her with fear in their eyes or hatred, often both, like she was going to turn evil any second. It had only gotten worse since Darkchylde. She could stay on Genosha but she'd feel out of place and she didn't trust Erik, didn't trust herself not to try to kill him if she stuck around. "I won't stay here, I would never follow you after what you did. After you lied to me. I deserved to know the truth, the truth about who and what I was putting my trust in" if she'd known she never would have taken part in this, and now that she knew she had no plans to step foot on Genosha again once she left. "If I ever see you again... you should hope for your sake that I don't."

#discord: shattered trust #manipulation tw #mind control tw #threats tw #child abuse mention tw

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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Why has Chuck resurrected Cas so many times if he doesn’t want him to be part of the story?

I don’t think Chuck didn’t want Cas to be part of the story. I think he realized how useful Cas was to Sam and Dean. Which is painfully, wonderfully, what a lot of us have been saying about Cas and his own personal issues for years.

Cas has struggled with his purpose. But there are some things Chuck can control (ooh people will like this cool new monster!), and things he can’t (Cas struggles mightily to understand Free Will and humanity). So after all that, I think the bigger question is why DIDN’T he bring Cas back after 12.23?

Chuck has entirely lost the emotional thread of his characters, precisely because he can’t control characters exercising their free will. He can control scenarios, not people.

Like Lilith, for example. She had very precise limits literally written into her character. Like Chuck handed her a character sheet and a specific mission goal, and sent her off to accomplish the task (weirdly, seduce Dean and destroy the Equalizer). She failed at the first bit (Dean is Not That Guy anymore, he didn’t take any of the random drugs she left out, Lilith literally had to knock him unconscious to arrange the second half of the plan). She needed the ability to improvise like that, to “go off script” to complete her tasks, so Chuck infused her with insight into his “writing process.” And even as a limited character within the story, she criticized his story and her part in it. Including her bitterness over how her “original purpose in the story,” back in s4 where she sacrificed herself for the Grand Plan she believed in with her entire being-- to free Lucifer from the cage-- and then nothing even came of it. The promised glory never came to pass, the apocalypse failed. So... why did Chuck “resurrect” her now (because I don’t think he literally pulled her from the Empty, but basically brought a character sheet to life... SHE was the puppet, but in order to play the role, she needed to know enough and have enough flexibility to adapt to a changing situation, or it would’ve been like interacting with a robot pre-programmed with a few dozen set lines). Why bring HER SPECIFICALLY back to the story now? Because of how she functioned in his story before. He doesn’t write “people,” he writes plot devices.

And to Chuck, for a long time, had written Cas as a plot device, instead of as a person. Because Chuck has proven he’s not terribly interested in the actual humanity and emotions of his characters, but in the endless drama he likes to watch unfold. The rest of what *WE* see, of what *BECKY* sees and then writes about, well, Chuck ain’t writing that. That’s all TFW.

I mean, what is the ONE REASON we ever got Cas in the story at all, after Kripke insisted for YEARS that there were no angels in Supernatural? He needed a plot device to free Dean from Hell, because he’d written them into a corner right before the writer’s strike, and had their 22 episode season cut to 16. They just... ran out of time to have Sam save Dean before he ever went to Hell. Which had been his original plan. Oops? Except... Cas didn’t STAY a plot device. He was supposed to be gone after a few episodes. I’ve even heard it suggested that the entire angel plotline was only supposed to last MAYBE a season. And yet... here we are.

Partly BECAUSE Cas just... isn’t and hasn’t been a tool for years. He’s so much more than that, because of the choices he’s made along the way. Look at s8, how desperately the plot circled around Cas’s “brainwashing” by Heaven into literally being the good little soldier to accomplish plot for them again. And then he was manipulated by Metatron because of his need to feel “useful,” to solve the problems he blamed himself for. And then Metatron showed us EXACTLY how Chuck “writes” in s9, using the angel tablet to power his typewriter. Metatron didn’t write every little detail, and his story DID fall apart anyway. He was using Chuck’s template exactly, though, and the one thing he couldn’t account for

Unfortunately, it’s led to some painful failures of communication, especially when Chuck hasn’t left room in their mission for them to actually step back and process-- like the 7 episodes between 14.17 and 15.03 where they barely had a chance to stop at all. That would burn anyone out. But Cas is left feeling “useless,” and Dean is left feeling adrift and desperately trying to find one thing in his life he can anchor his broken self-identity to, and pushing Cas away SPECIFICALLY because he couldn’t be sure Cas WASN’T just Chuck’s plot device, because of the entire nature and history of their relationship.

Messed up, right? And CHUCK doesn’t CARE! Because I don’t think he really sees Cas as much more than a plot device, despite having “watched the story” all these years. I mean he still somehow thinks Dean’s a 26-year-old dude who would actually seduce the victim of a MotW that was now under his protection. His conversation with Becky was actually super enlightening. He doesn’t actually care about any of the characters, the way Becky has come to. She was obsessed with them, and with Chuck, for a while, but she’s had some counselling and GROWN. Chuck, for all of this, hasn’t. He either needs to let go of his need to control the “story,” allowing his characters full agency by not meddling in their lives, or he needs to be stopped.

And we know Chuck’s favored storytelling style, how he crafts the “mytharc” plot, which we’ve had pointed out to us in 15.04 is what he really cares about. And he’s trying to reach the ending by going back to the beginning. He’s writing an ouroboros, and I’m not sure he’s really aware enough of how much his characters have evolved, how much the story has changed them all, and the fact that he can’t just erase all of that while trying to tell the one story he’s never really been able to get Sam and Dean to provide him-- which is Chuck’s OWN “origin story,” of shoving his sibling into a box to generate all of creation oin the first place. Chuck wants people to side with him. He wants to feel “big,” when if you look at him longer than five seconds, you can see he’s entirely self-obsessed and willing to tell any lie, manipulate any story, to frame himself as the Hero, when just like Metatron he’s actually the petty villain of the piece.

I mean sure, we wouldn’t have creation at all if it hadn’t been for his actions, but the fact he can’t “let the story go” and let creation tell its own stories (and even Metatron understood that to a degree, his obsession with human storytelling an integral part of his arc), but feels the need to vindicate himself as if he was the unproblematic fave is just... creepy, you know? And it’ll probably end up being his downfall.

And I think it will take all of Team Free Will working together to bring that about, because Chuck long ago lost the thread of ANY of their stories. Because he’s not writing THEIR story, he’s writing HIS. He’s just using them all as proxies to pat himself on the back, except TFW aren’t actually his proxies. Chuck created free will, but he doesn’t understand it at all. :’D

#spn 15.05 #spn s15 spoilers #spn cosmology #Anonymous

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average-jor · 4 years

Text

say goodbye

i haven’t posted anything in a while. i’ve been going through a lot. i have substituted writing about it for painting but today i need to write. today i said goodbye to someone i considered my best friend for 6 years. she didn’t die, but she’s dead to me. and not *quite* in the way that phrase is usually meant. i mean it that way partly, but also i’m pretty sad. i am still grieving the loss of a friend. i wanted to end our friendship. i had been struggling for the past month with how to bring up certain things to her. i’ll give you some backstory:

6 years ago, S moved into the apartment across the hall from me. i didn’t like that she played her music so fucking loud and she didn’t like my boyfriend screaming at me. thus, a friendship was born. it was desperation for an “out” in my relationship with dan, who i’ve talked about in a previous post. it was loneliness. it was someone giving me attention that wasn’t dan. it was an escape, or so i thought, from the abuse. S had a huge problem with using drinking to cope with childhood trauma. i drank with her a lot, but she always went the extra mile. it was like that for much of our friendship. there wasn’t much else there. it wasn’t that deep. but somehow we were so close. somehow she was my best friend.

fast forward a couple years, i met and moved in with my now husband. first thing she said when she met him, was that it wasn’t going to last. i was gonna leave in a month. she just *knew* it. cool, but WHY the FUCK would you say that OUT LOUD??!! it was a moment where i needed her support and encouragement to explore this new relationship away from the abusive one i was accustomed to, and she seemed so dismissive of my attempting to find some happiness and healthiness in my life.

fast forward another couple years, my husband and i move closer to S. i’m actually happy i’ll have a friend to hang out with. even though she’s notoriously flaky. even though she notoriously lies about medical issues when she blows off our plans. even though she guilt trips and emotionally manipulates me. i didn’t see this clearly yet, but i was starting to.

fast forward to a month ago. as i’ve been sharing for over a month, i’ve really been going through a lot of things emotionally. i am in therapy because i have repressed childhood trauma and actively suffer from PTSD/anxiety/depression. i got on medication, i started doing things like writing and painting and actually taking care of my self, and my mental health. i told S that i needed some space to process my shit. she said she understood. and then she bugged me to hang out every single day until i finally caved. i offered a day and she was excited. day of, i message her and she didn’t message me back for 2 full hours before finally telling me she’d been - and this is a direct quote - “pukey mcpukerson’’.

GIRL. you are 33 yrs old. i’ve been your friend for 6 years. i know when you’re lying to me. i didn’t say anything. i didn’t call her out. how do i call her out on a lie about being sick? even if she IS lying, she’s not going to admit that, and then i look like a dickhole because i accused her. so i say nothing. i always say nothing.

here’s a synopsis of how i feel she’s treated me poorly during our 6 year friendship and any ONE of these things are a reason alone to end a friendship but today she told me things that i never could have seen coming and things that just reaffirmed how i felt about this friendship and where it was going - nowhere good:

- i feel that she is incredibly dismissive of my feelings

- i feel that she gaslights me

- i feel as though she is selfish + narcissistic and quite literally cannot care about anyone else besides herself

- i feel like she guilt trips and emotionally manipulates me

- i feel like she bullies me

- i feel like she is jealous and possessive of me

- i feel like she is a bad friend. period.

today she told me that it was not her responsibility to validate my feelings, and i’m not even joking when i tell you she said that i should not be so consumed in my own problems that i can’t still be there for my friends. she told me that i need to stop playing a victim. she told me everyone has to be soOOooOOoO careful about what they say around me, and that i need to “let go of” my past. she genuinely asked “HOW MUCH THERAPY DO YOU EVEN NEED?” what kind of friend is not supportive of them getting help they need? how is that sentence not haunting her as the exact reason why i had such issues with her??

i asked her repeatedly to please put aside her anger a little so she could listen to me. she kept gaslighting me, telling me i’m wrong in my feelings. telling me it’s ridiculous. calling me names. calling me to scream at me just to hang up the second i try to say anything.

after all of this, i still apologized for not coming forward and being honest with her sooner. i explained that i was proven right in why i felt so hesitant. i said that i was sorry she was miserable, and incapable of personal growth, or letting someone else experience that. i told her that i was a good friend to her for 6 years and i expected the same back. i told her i’m in therapy because i’m TRYING to be a better, more well-rounded adult. i asked what she was doing to try to accomplish that, told her i hope she finds happiness. she blocked me.

i’m not saying i’m unhappy that the friendship is over, i think it needed to happen. i especially feel confident in my decision because i’ve been going to therapy and can actually recognize toxic shitty behavior. and because of my husband, who has been supportive of my decisions about my friendship with S, and gently shared his opinion about how he thought the friendship was negatively affecting me. he applauded me for still putting myself in harm’s way emotionally to be there for her but reminded me that i need to take care of myself, too. which is exactly what i’m doing. i’m taking care of myself.

i may have one friend, one therapist, and one husband, but i am full of so much support right now and so much love from the people who actually DO care about me.

i realize now, S was never gonna let me live my life. she needed me to be in the same boat as her. now that i’ve become a healthier person, dealt with some of my shit. changed some behaviors, she can’t handle it. and i cannot sit here and let her tell me that its my fault. because it’s not. i should have been more honest sooner with her, i’ll own that. for 6 years, though, i was a very good friend. i feel hurt. i feel betrayed. i feel sad. i feel anxious. i feel better, though, too. i know i’ll get through this. it’s just hard.

please don’t let yourself be blinded like i was to the fact that friendships can also be abusive.

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