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marengogo · 29 days

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Silver Lining - What If #8 : Min & Kook or Busan Brothers?

Neuron by J-Hope (with Gaeko & YOON MIRAE) focused playlist.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Ladies, Gentlemen and Distinguished Enbies: HELLO!

How is everyone? Hope you are all enjoying this little break, if you celebrate Easter, and if for any reason you didn’t get a break either you don’t celebrate Easter, or you are part of the “holiday working class” I hope you are at least safe and serene 💜. All that said, let me tell you;

It’s incredible what a few days off can do, aye?!

For one I've been very vivid dreams and, for two, I’m actually in the mood of writing posts, would you look at that! AND BY THE WAY I keep forgetting to do this, but I will at some point later today I need to write an advisory note for the Sonyeondan Colosseum as I haven’t been there in a while but I still get aspiring gladiators, who are dying to participate, and albeit fun, at the moment, I really don't have that much time, to provide these fighters with the appropriate match they deserve 😫. So it is only right that I rely the appropriate information, as I do believe I run a fine institution and as such I am sorry for allowing my administration to slack real life suddenly got so busy and interesting that I didn’t, and still don't, have time to play, but who knows what the future holds right?! There just might appear a contender so unique, I might not resist the urge for a little tussle.

Anyways, back to the topic of this post, as it is sort of a continuation of this one → Solstice & Equinox, it is indeed about the Jikook Travel vlog we still no absolutely nothing about, but of which I woke up with thoughts/ideas about, hence, why I’ve placed this post, yet again, in my Silver Lining series 🤡. In my previous post I tried to predict the vlogs' scheduling, in this post I would like to talk about the possible style this vlog might take, while making, as always, educated guesses and also diving into JK’s filmmaking style.

⚠️I MOST LIKELY WILL WAX HELLA POETIC OVER A LOT OF FILMMAKING STRUCTURES, SO BE HELLA WARNED⚠️

Let’s start right off the bat with:

Also if you are NOT familiar with “Youtuber” Jimin, below is a little summary:

As you can probably tell by some of the ss because there are so many more, believe me!, JM is very enthusiastic about vlogging and, as we all know, JK is very enthusiastic about producing video related content as well as taking it further when he directed Life Goes On for example. Both JM and JK consume copious amounts of video content, be it movies, dramas, anime or shows and they often seem to be watching the same shows as well. Reason why, perhaps, they often seem to be the only privy of their media related inside jokes.

Now, imagine loving to watch shows so much and having as a significant other someone whom not only has so much footage/pictures of you which will never see btw 🤡 but also has the skills to potentially make a show out of you, or with you, because they also enjoy the same thing, what would you do? Sure, you like travelling and he is not too big into that, but some time 7 years ago this person not only took you on a trip, but also found the most memorable way to immortalise this for you, resulting in this person producing more and more travel vlogs. Not sure if JK has come to enjoy travelling, but one thing is for sure;

he seems to enjoy making one helluva good vlog out of it.

Now, before we get into the reason for my title (Min & Kook or Busan Brother?) let’s look into JK’s filmmaking style THIS IS WHERE I AM SURE I WILL NERD OUT, and in order to do this we will look into two of particular videos, as I feel like their travel vlog could be a mixture of this two:

VIDEO 1: [BTS VLOG] Jung Kook l CAMPING VLOG

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VIDEO 2: G.C.F in Budapest

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Let’s start from VIDEO 1. This was a series of vlogs we got from each of the members and were posted on BANGTANTV between July 9, 2022 and December 10, 2022 as always with the Tannies, the actual filming dates may or may not be close to the time they were posted. There are many different types of vlogs out there, because many are the different interests of viewers out there. When looking at our boys, you can clearly see theri vlogs divided in 3 specific types of vlogs:

“HOW TO”-vlog: In this type of video, usually the hosts want to learn to do something, and so they either attempt or they are a master in said craft to do said something, while showing the viewer step-by-step, with the intent/hope that the viewer can learn or feel inspired to want to do it as well.

Jin

Yoongi

“CELEBRITY LIFE”-vlog: This type of video, we follow a typical/particular day in the life of a celebrity. There is usually not so much editing done, and it gives very much the feeling of watching a reality TV show.

Tae

Hobi

“TRAVEL”-vlog: These are usually specifically about showcasing cities, spaces, activities. They are very action filled, so they will not have as many static shots as, for example, the previous two themes

Joonie

Even though JK and Joonie have the same style of vlog, there is something that JK has, which all the other 6 don’t, which is his own “colour”.

JK has a very specific style that is unique to himself within the group, and you can notice in the editing, which makes me think he often takes part in, whereas, even though the type of vlog is different for the other 6 members, the style of editing is the same for all of them. When I say that JK adds his own colour, I mean that, for example, he so often breaks the 4th wall in very conventional and unconventional ways and this is something I've noticed only he does actually in Bangtan.

Aside from JK’s Film Colour, I do believe that this is also an indication of how long we can hope their travel vlog to be. In the end the main event was camping, with other events as well and it was edited to 45mins, which is a long ass video for this type of vlog, it basically means that they realistically had hours of footage and at least 3 type of campers, which I will get into in my next point.

GCF in Budapest has all of JK’s colours as of 2023.

This video is the result of 6 years during which he filmed, edited and directed different projects. GCF in Budapest is very professional, and even though he didn’t do the final edit on this, he did direct it, meaning that there wasn’t a single shot that he hadn’t planned, requested or approved of. Basically, JK is the person that instructed other camera-people the times he wasn’t filming himself as to what shot he needed and wanted for the final project, all the way from principal, to secondary, footage I DON’T THINK YOU CAN’T BUT I’M ABOUT TO NERD OUT, RIGHT NOW. Following are the notable structures in this GCF, with related explanations/examples:

Non-static self-filming - This is the typical vlog style where the main subject is filming himself. But in his case he seems to favour this type of shots when he is moving the most, as if he wants us to fill like we are really travelling with him, as opposed to constantly placing the camera on the surface, not moving, and talking.

B-Roll Footage - is also known as “filler footage”. Usually there is no talking or nothing of importance, but they are quite good for either transitions or comic relief. I LOVE B-ROLL FOOTAGE and JK uses it so well. I believe that b-rolls fit JK so well because of his personality, he tends to space out so often that, in the filmmaking context, this type of footage offers a way to show this dimension of his personality, for example, himself goofing off in the b-roll is perhaps what he does in his head when he is spacing out in real life.

Traditional filming - This is your typical main subject being filmed by a camera-person. As there seem to be two different angles during this type of shot, there were at least 2 different people filming him I will not go deep into the type of camera/s that were you as this is not that kind of post.

Establishing shots - This are shots that make the viewer know where and when something is happening, and they are extremely important in film-making, but not really in vlogging as the title of the vlog already tells you where and sometimes when, if not you’ll find out in the dialog you are, but it is exactly this kind of touch that makes his work feel very cinematographic.

All the aforementioned, are characteristics that I am expecting to see in their travel blog and I am soooooo much looking forward to check our the whole crew, if by any chance we get a roll end credit scene 🥹 to be honest, going back to video 1, since they were in each known location for more than a day, they could make at least 2 self-sufficient vlogs but hey ….

JK surely came a long way from GCF in Tokyo, didn’t he? And even though he hasn’t produced a GCF with the same colours ever since, there was something that was:

To me, filming is the art of skilfully deceiving, while willfully being deceived, during a specific amount of time, after which we all go back to our realities unharmed or “not”, depending on the depth of the film.

Films are like magic.

But what is filming for JK? To be veeeeery honest with you, the person who has a future in acting amongst the Tannies is Kim Taehyung, yet, the two people who can for sure act, on the silver-screen, are Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung … so why do I feel like Tae is the only only that has a future in this field? Because Tae can live for and with it. Just knowing how to act is not enough, you have to want to be an actor, for real-real. You know how Hobi breathes dancing? Tae breathes out imaginary characters in a similar way, reason why I can see him having a very prolific career as an actor as well.

Now ... why do I bring this up?

If JK just wanted to become a movie director alongside being the amazing musician he is, he’s had the perfect subject/s to do so. So why has he been so fixated with filming JM? JM is not the type of subject you can use for a long film, sure, he likes to act with his friends, but I don't think that cinema glory is one of his objectives in life I may be very wrong. He can perform/dance like hell crazy for the camera, HANDS FUCKING DOWN, but, once again, serious silver-screen acting isn’t what he wants. So, once again, given a choice of Tae and Jin;

Why JM?

TIME FOR TIN HATS Y’ALL HURRY 👏🏾 HURRY👏🏾 HURRY! 📢

I, Marengo, think that JK had always intended to make GCF in Tokyo as merely a video to preserve the happy memories, during a hard moment in their lives, which they spent together. This video-gift was specifically intended, for JM, in the style that JM mostly appreciated at the time, which might have happened to be YT vlogs. While editing his video, JK perhaps realised that it might have been a bit on the nose, so he added establishing b-roll shots of Tokyo, thinking it might have been enough to divert the attention from JM; but unfortunately failed. For a few reasons, but mainly, the lack of any spoken words in my opinion.

The thing is that for the purposes of what i think his objective was, words were absolutely not needed. “Look! See how happy you were here! It doesn’t matter how shit things are, we can still be happy; You can still be happy!” In the same way, with Life Goes On he wanted us to see their changed everyday life of the time, the sadness, melancholy and hope they all felt. Words were not needed, and this is the type of filming which is closest to the inner colours of Jeon Jungkook. JK is not the best with words, so I believe that he found in filmmaking a form of expressing himself in a more effective way.

HOWEVER, as we all know, even though Life Goes On was well received, GCF in Tokyo’s main critique was “Where is tokyo? All I see is JM”. Yet, his main purpose wasn’t Tokyo, the shots, the song, the editing, clearly indicated that. Nevertheless, if at the time, JM was indeed his queer interest as I don’t believe they were going steady at the time, he wasn’t going to jump out gun blazing to defend his choice; was he now? No, he left us to believe that he was gonna get better, and next thing he did was add more members and better establishing shots, but never forget; gcf in Tokyo is still there and still something he remembers fondly.

Now as for the title of this post 😂😂😂. Be it straight, queer, interrational or whatever, there is one thing that most of couple YT channels have in common:

Their channel name is either a union of their name or there is and &/and to join siad names. When JM was pretending to have a channel with JK during this live → VMINKOOK LIVE he named their channel MinKook, because he was Min and he was Kook so, MinKook and let’s forget for a second that this actually resulted to be a very funny korean pun. I honestly do believe that if you are a platonic duo on YT you will very rarely use your name with your friends name as it seems like it is a universal YT truth that “” & “” channels are couple channels. So if anything, if JM was talking out of subconscious, he maybe had been watching a lot of YT couple channels, at the time, and thought it okay for them to have a channel name that matched the same energy? …

🤡🤡🤡

So my question is: will the channel be named something akin to that couple vibe RISKY AF, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?? Or will it be something more like the Busan Brothers name that they are often given … HELLA SAFE, MAKES A LOT OF SENSE? I guess only time will tell!

Ok then, hats off! Let's go back to reality, where we can happily keep waiting for this blasted travel vlog LOL.

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

#Youtube #Marengo's Silver World #Jikook #Jikook Travel Vlog

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theladyofbloodshed · 1 year

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A Court of Tangled Flames - Chapter 23

We have made it into Velaris but the Solstice showdown will happen in the next chapter. This one came to a logical place to stop, so hopefully chapter 24 will be with you in a few days.

When the morning came for Nesta to depart to the Night Court, her stomach twisted itself into a knot. Eris had arranged the whole thing for her and had drilled her thoroughly on every detail of the arrangement that he had hammered out with Rhysand. Eris would winnow her to the Hewn City where one of them would escort her to Velaris. She would stay one day and one night, returning to the Hewn City the following morning. If they were a minute late, Eris had soldiers ready to infiltrate Velaris.

Of course, Eris wouldn’t rely singularly on Rhysand’s promises. He was far too cautious and meticulous for that.

Niamh would remain in Windhaven – a fact Rhysand hadn’t been made aware of – and she knew exactly where the wards were that protected Velaris. Part of her espionage had been to test where they were weakest and she had done exactly that. For all of her outlandish behaviour, Niamh was brilliant at what she did. Ashur, the male from the army who had escorted her – and worked as Eris’ double in appearance when necessary - was to be posted at the weakest ward with a small number of Eris’ most loyal soldiers. Nesta had been informed of the location in case she needed to flee from the city. Her darling husband had been militant in her understanding the maps he’d had drawn up. She realised that he had maps of both the exterior and interior of the Hewn City gathered from memorising corridors and rooms on every visit to the place too. Niamh was helping him to compile detailed maps of Illyria.

Eris had also sought out Azriel in private to ensure that if Nesta was to face any sort of misery that he would take her out of the situation and return her to Orla’s cottage. The deal was inked on his skin. A black whorl shaped like a dagger ran the length of his left forearm and Azriel would have a matching one. Even when Nesta had pressed him on what he had exchanged for Azriel to make a deal with him, Eris refused to answer, only saying that he was willing to pay it.

He was not happy that she would attend the Winter Solstice celebration. His expression was distant often as he likely mulled over every possible situation that could occur. Nesta knew it was worse for him because he couldn’t be there. He hated not having control. He hated the idea of chance and fate more than anything. His mood had been irritable, snapping at servants and guards as he lived up to his reputation of cruelty – though never to Nesta. Eris hadn’t tried to plead or convince her not to go. In fact, he even helped her pack for the one night to steal an extra few moments with her.

Long fingers folded a grey gown with a square-cut neckline into the bag. He brushed against the embroidery stitched into the soft fabric.

‘I had a dress made for tonight. I hope that is fine.’

Eris turned his head towards her. Worry laced his expression but he gave a nod. ‘Our finances are shared. You may buy what you wish.’

The dressmaker had presented the gown yesterday whilst Eris was away with the army. She pulled it from the wardrobe to show him now. His eyes softened as he took in the dress. It was very much Autumn. The burgundy velvet would be snug to her chest and the skirt was a heavy, cascading thing that she needed to pinch to raise when she walked. Delicate flowers had been stitched to it using golden thread and they were connected by snaking vines. It matched the tattoo wrapping around her ring finger that symbolised their marriage. The dress could not have been more of a political statement declaring her allegiance.

‘I will wear it for you when I’m home,’ she said, stepping close to wrap her arms around her husband.

‘And this is home? You can call the Autumn Court home?’

‘Yes,’ she stated. ‘But mostly, it’s this. This is home.’

Nesta slipped a hand beneath Eris’ shirt to rest against the thud of his heart. She meant her words. Autumn had seized a place in her heart. In a court where everything was in eternal decay, it had made her bloom again. He had made her bloom again.

‘You don’t want me to go today, do you?’

Her eyes tracked the bob of his throat as he swallowed. ‘How can I want to send my wife into the wolf den?’

‘But you haven’t tried to stop me.’

Eris brushed his lips across her brow, so gently that the motion nearly undid Nesta. ‘Because I have a wife as stubborn as I am. You want to see your sister. I want you to see her – just not in that court, but I won’t try to dissuade you because you know what you’re walking into. I trust you.’ His hands curled around her shoulders and Nesta was grateful again for the constant warmth that seeped from him. ‘I am scared that you’ll return and they’ll have hurt you.’

It was a fear of Nesta’s too. In their own den, the claws would come out. Being close to Cassian also filled her with a sense of dread.

‘I’m stronger now – and that’s not my cage any more. I have a home to come back to. A golden light waiting for me.’

‘And a husband who will be sick with worry every minute you’re away.’

She pushed back a wayward tuft of auburn hair.

‘What a lucky thing I am.’

The gifts that she had purchased from the market had been safely stored at their cottage to keep curious servants’ eyes away. They made a brief stop there. Or, planned to. After being practically joined at the hip with Eris for months, a night completely apart felt like losing a limb.

Nesta pounced on him in the lounge, pushing him down onto the couch and tearing off his clothes before Eris could even make a noise of protest. Not that he would. He had been as insatiable as her in their frenzied state.

‘They’ll scent me on you,’ Eris half-heartedly complained as Nesta raised her skirts and pulled her underwear to one side.

‘Let them.’

He held her skirts for her so she could sink down onto his length with a satisfied groan.

‘This is what you wanted?’ He drove his upwards, forcing her to take the full length so she tipped forwards, gripping his shoulders.

They set an urgent pace. It wasn’t about pleasure or being soft, only Nesta’s desire to be filled by her husband before a night apart drove her. She had to have him – and Eris was always happy to oblige.

‘Harder,’ she begged as her arms wrapped around his neck.

Eris finished inside of her, but Nesta remained on top – still fully clothed – as she took in shards of breath to calm her erratic heart. She also wanted to savour the last few moments close with her husband.

They put themselves back together in a hurry though Nesta’s cheeks were still flushed pink from the sudden exertion.

‘The second we step foot in the Hewn City, they will know exactly why we’re late.’

Nesta smoothed her hair from her face with a wicked grin directed towards her husband. ‘Don’t you want the whole world to know that I am yours?’

‘The whole world doesn’t matter. There’s only one person I care for, and as long as she knows that I’d carve my heart out of my chest before I see her come to harm, that is all that matters.’ Eris laced his fingers with Nesta’s then brought her wrist to his lips and placed a kiss against the veins running beneath her pale skin. ‘Let’s go to hell, my love.’

***

There was not one aspect of any of this that Eris found appealing. He hadn’t needed to ask Nesta to keep his court’s secrets private, she’d always vowed that not a single word would leave her lips. It meant that would keep the mystery of Velaris a secret too. Her loyalty was a gift the Night Court had never earned. Even her presence on Solstice was a blessing too great for them to be granted.

Despite the water-tight plans put into place, once Nesta entered the wards of Velaris, Eris was completely blind. He wouldn’t know anything until she was returned to him. If that didn’t happen then he would wage war. Nesta was a part of Autumn now and even Beron might enjoy leading the charge against Illyrians.

No, he was running away with his fear.

Nesta had chosen to go there. She had chosen to try and appeal to Feyre’s reason because her heart was good. She gave her sisters more than they ever deserved. Feyre was the reason that Nesta had been stolen from her bed and forced into the Cauldron. Feyre was the reason why Nesta had been tangled up with the Night Court where she was manipulated into their dirty work by threats to recruit Elain instead. They had trampled on her until she could no longer get back up alone. He had been there to reach out his hand and offer Nesta a lifeline.

If Nesta returned damaged again, Eris would not be able to hold a rational thought in his mind.

‘Shall we go?’

No. Stay here, he wanted to say. Stay with me.

It wasn’t just the thought of Nesta being with the insufferable Night Court that made his stomach feel like lead, but the idea that Nesta might decide she missed the place and was using the visit as a means of escape from him and the Autumn Court. Nobody would choose to be part of Beron’s family.

He managed to nod and her fingers entwined with his, tangling like the roots of a tree. She would come back. They would make a future together.

‘I love you, Nesta.’

The austere expression she so often wore melted to a soft smile. ‘Eris.’

A thumb brushed against his cheek. ‘I love you too.’

Although Nesta’s winnowing had improved drastically in recent weeks, travelling that distance with two of them and a heap of presents would drain a portion of her magic. There was not a chance that Eris was sending Nesta to the Night Court without her magic fit to burst. They hadn’t yet worked out how deep her power ran, but if Eris had to put money on it, she could challenge Rhysand and likely win even without five centuries of training. Nesta’s power could be a dangerous thing, but it liked her. Despite her fear, her power fluttered about her, always bending to her will without the firm hand that should have been needed to curb it. It worried Eris sometimes – not that he’d given voice to it. He’d seen enough children with the ability to wield fire in his own court burnt to a crisp when their magic overruled them. As strength increased, its user had to rise above it to keep it quelled. Nesta, with no training, should have had no control, but her stolen magic never seemed to want to do anything except stick close to her. It should have wanted to cause chaos, to run riot in a world where it would bring high lords to their knees, but the magic either loved Nesta enough to stay – or it was afraid of her, the female who clawed out the heart of the Cauldron to keep for her own.

The words she had said on their return from the market were haunting him. She surely was high-fae, but sometimes, he had to wonder if his wife was something other. Something more. Something greater.

At the sight of the palace of nightmares, Eris held Nesta a little tighter. This was the place where Morrigan felt Nesta belonged. He hated her for the remark. Mor couldn’t step foot in her home without trembling and believed that Nesta deserved to be condemned. Nesta who’d lied that she wasn’t crying when they came across an injured bird in the forest. Nesta who always stopped to talk to children in villages and remained in a temple until it was empty to say a quiet word to the Mother.

Nobody stopped them on their march to the meeting room. Either sentries had been forewarned of their arrival or Eris’ presence in the Hewn City had become a regular thing that it wasn’t challenged.

Every step towards the obsidian room made the noose around Eris’ neck pull tighter.

He never thought he’d be a male so clingy to his wife. Moreover, he never thought he would have a wife he particularly cared for. A night without his wife seemed incomprehensible. But Nesta wasn’t just any female. She was his equal, his everything. Beyond her intelligence, her heart, Nesta at her very core was just… brilliant.

The previous night had been spent with Orla and Maceo trading stories and Nesta had laughed at one of the old tutor’s anecdotes so hard that she shot a mouthful of cake out of her mouth, spraying crumbs across her lap and the floor. He’d never seen her in such disarray before that his own stomach ached from laughing. When they’d returned to the Forest House, they couldn’t look each other in the eye without one of them snorting and erupting with laughter. Perhaps that was why Eris was so bereft at the thought of being apart from Nesta. She wasn’t just his wife, she was his best friend, the one he could always rely on to bring a smile to his face.

On entry to the room, Eris noticed that Rhysand had already breached the first step of the plan. He had anticipated that Morrigan or Azriel would have been selected to retrieve Nesta. He had been insistent that it not be Rhysand alone, knowing Nesta wouldn’t like it. They were greeted by six faces. The only ones absent were the heavily pregnant high lady and Amren.

Nesta bristled at the sight of them gathered around the table, but Elain gave her a placating smile from beside Lucien.

‘You’re late, Eris,’ snapped Rhys. He inhaled then his eyes flared. ‘And now I know why.’

Realisation flittered through the room as they breathed in the scent of their recent coupling. He felt the temperature raise in the room from Nesta’s scorching cheeks as she too realised that everybody now knew that not ten minutes earlier, she had thoroughly been enjoying her husband.

To take the onus from her, Eris shrugged. ‘Have you seen my wife? Be thankful I didn’t take her on your throne, Rhysand.’

If Nesta could have killed him then, she might have. Silver flames swirled in her eyes as Eris realised that was the completely wrong thing to have announced to the Night Court.

‘Would you believe me if I said, I was glad to be exiled,’ said Lucien, offering Nesta a lifeline to cling to.

‘Is that the only way I can get away from him?’ Nesta asked, her lip curling into a devious grin.

Mor rapped her fingernails on the table. ‘Can we go?’

Hate simmered in her eyes when they met his own. Eris couldn’t help but give her a gloating grin as an arm went around his wife’s shoulders for a farewell. Mor would never let her malice go. She clung to it rather than face the truth that had chased her for centuries; leaving her in the woods was the best thing he could ever have done for her. He knew it. She knew it. But Morrigan preferred to run with the lie.

‘These are solstice gifts.’

‘I can take those ahead to the House of Wind,’ said Azriel, already reaching for the bags.

Nesta’s eyes flashed with alarm. ‘I’m not staying in that house.’

‘We thought you’d take the opportunity to see Gwyneth,’ said Rhysand in a tone that fought hard to remain placid.

Eris could feel the tension already threatening to snap Nesta’s body in two. The house had been a friend to her, she’d once said, but it had also been her prison.

‘My wife is not being put into the place you once caged her in.’

‘Caged her?’ Mor scoffed.

‘Caged her,’ Eris repeated. ‘Nobody can make it down those stairs. Nesta cannot fly and she cannot winnow if you have the place warded. She is not staying in a place that she cannot leave without assistance.’

The giant bat in the corner took a step forwards. He tilted his chin slightly as he appraised Nesta. ‘You can winnow?’

The others paused, awaiting her answer. Nesta dipped her chin once, but avoided looking at Cassian.

‘Yes. Eris taught me.’ She sucked in a breath. ‘I will find a room above a tavern. I’m not staying at the House of Wind.’

Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘We’ll have a room prepared at the river estate.’

‘You could always share my bed,’ suggested Elain, with a kind smile towards her sister. ‘It’s large enough and it will be like when we were children whispering into the night.’

That seemed to loosen part of the tension that Nesta had been clinging to. ‘I’d like that.’

Lucien stood and rubbed his hands together. ‘Excellent. Why don’t Elain and I winnow you to Velaris while the others go ahead?’

On his birthday, Eris would send his brother the biggest gift he could find for trying to ease Nesta’s discomfort not once, but twice. He hoped Lucien would continue to be there for his sister-in-law throughout the evening.

Azriel took Cassian with him then Morrigan followed with an inscrutable look in their direction before disappearing from sight. Rhysand remained, a conspicuous eye cast over them as they said their goodbye.

‘Just one night,’ Nesta murmured, stroking a hand against his cheek.

‘The longest night of the year,’ he complained. ‘If you share the bed with Elain, you cannot blame Safera for snoring, you know that?’

Eris was rewarded with a click of the tongue from his wife and a hurried glance over her shoulder to check if anybody else had overheard.

‘Anything. Anything at all. You know what to do,’ he said, bringing Nesta’s fingers to touch the horrid Night Court tattoo on his arm.

Nesta kissed him softly. ‘Until tomorrow, my love.’

***

The gifts had been artfully arranged beneath a tree but there were no signs of anybody except Elain and Lucien when they winnowed to the river estate. They heard Rhys’ footsteps aiming straight towards the stairs where Feyre was resting, Elain explained. As her pregnancy developed, she struggled more with the weight of her bump. Her ankles were swollen and she’d had another bout of morning sickness that rendered her bed ridden for the last couple of days.

‘Pregnancy sounds like hell,’ said Nesta with a shudder.

Lucien gave her a sidelong glance then a smile twitched on his lips. ‘So, I shouldn’t expect to be an uncle anytime soon?’

‘Your father breathes down our neck at every opportunity that I should be pregnant by now and questions whether it is me or Eris who is faulty.’ Not caring about Elain’s wide eyes, she continued. ‘Your brother, Uther, offered to mount me in Eris’ stead.’

‘Mount you?’ Lucien choked.

‘Good heavens, they make you sound like a prize breeding mare.’ Elain had covered her mouth with her hand, but Nesta noticed that she gave a quick glance towards Lucien to measure his reaction.

A blur of shadow assembled in the corner as Azriel made an appearance. He gave a tight smile.

‘Settled in?’

Her bags remained where he had left them, neatly placed beside an arm chair.

‘Would you be able to take me to visit my Valkyries?’

He gave her a much warmer smile than any she’d seen that morning. Azriel extended his arm for her to take. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’

Returning to the House of Wind brought a strange sense of dread to Nesta, but mingled in was a jittery excitement. There were many memories attached to the house, and not all of them were bad – though many were.

When they landed on the roof, there was already a small crowd assembled. Her heart soared as she took in the sight of the many priestesses who she had once trained alongside.

‘When I told Gwyn you’d be coming for Solstice, well, word spread,’ murmured Azriel as he tipped her upright

Her heart leapt as Nesta realised that they were all here to see her. Not to train, just to see her.

For nearly an hour they stood chatting happily in the cold, catching up on what had happened in the months since she’d saw them last. It hurt her to hear that the training had dried up, and these poor females had no variety in their life. Each day followed the same procedure of working in the library then dining together, attending a service, and returning to their rooms. The library was a jail as much as it was a sanctuary. Nesta understood it. She had once feared about leaving the safety of the House of Wind and re-joining society because it had variables she couldn’t control. She hoped one day that her friends would find the courage to grow again.

Once they had returned to the library to celebrate the Winter Solstice, two remained opposite Nesta. Gwyn and Emerie eclipsed her with an embrace. For a while, they remained there, arms wrapped around each other back in the place where it all began.

‘I miss you both terribly.’

Emerie gave a smile. ‘I think if your husband had his way, we’d both be living with you too.’

Eris would move mountains for her if he thought it would make her happy. She was lucky, Nesta knew it.

‘I have Solstice gifts for you both.’

Mugs of hot chocolate and warm fruit cake with a thick wedge of icing appeared courtesy of the house that they dug into while they exchanged presents. Nesta could have invited them inside to the warm, but part of her knew that Cassian was inside with Azriel and she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Gwyn had made them both beautiful, little friendship bracelets with a matching one for herself. There were charms on them that Gwyn claimed were wishes which would fall off when the wish was fulfilled. Emerie’s was green, purple, and gold. Her own was crimson and navy blue with silver thread criss-crossing through it. And Gwyn’s matched the teal of her eyes with white and blue to compliment it. They held their wrists together, showcasing the beautiful bracelets.

Of course, Emerie had bought books for both of them. Gwyn’s was a tame romance about a doe-eyed girl falling for a quiet and brooding male who worked for her father. Nesta flipped her book over. Hers was decidedly less tame. It would certainly give her some ideas to explore with Eris when she was home.

‘I don’t want to go,’ she lamented, pulling them both in again to embrace.

A fine layer of snow was settling as it began to fall from the sky. Flakes settled in her friends’ hair and their noses were turning pink from the cold. It was time to say goodbye, no matter how much it hurt her.

‘We’ll see each other again soon,’ Gwyn vowed, taking the words right out of Nesta’s mouth.

Unable to speak against the lump in her throat, Nesta nodded. They would. It wasn’t a permanent goodbye.

On cue, Azriel appeared on the roof. Following behind was the hulking figure of Cassian. Her pulse gave an unwanted leap as she recognised his swaggering walk.

‘You ready?’

Nesta blinked at him. His hazel eyes were on her, a summons that Nesta struggled to turn away from.

‘I-’

‘I meant Emerie, sorry.’

‘Then perhaps you should have looked at Emerie when you asked your question,’ she muttered.

Emerie dipped her chin in confirmation then swept Nesta and Gwyn into a final hug. ‘Happy Solstice to you both.’

Carefully, Cassian lifted Emerie into his arms whilst avoiding touching her wings. It seemed uncomfortable for them both to have to make the journey to Illyria together, but the alternative was Cassian flying Nesta back into the city. She loved her friend, but Nesta couldn’t offer to trade places.

After saying another goodbye to Gwyneth, Nesta let Azriel fly her into the heart of Velaris. All of the shops were closed. Even the bustling market was empty. It was strange to see it so devoid of life. Eris hadn’t let her leave the bedroom without ensuring she had also packed gloves, a hat and a scarf like an overbearing mother hen, so she wore them now with her coat bundled tight around her.

‘I am going to head to the temple on the hill for a little while. I’ll be back well before dinner.’

‘Should I meet you?’

The shadowsinger had a good heart.

‘No, I can find my way. Thank you, Azriel.’

Life poured from the temple as many went to celebrate the Mother and thank her for another year of life on the longest night of the year. Nesta had never been to this building. It felt wrong to enter a temple without Eris too since he had been the one to introduce her to Prythian’s goddess.

There were similarities to the Autumn Court temples, but the one in Velaris was more opulent with gilded frames surrounding the ancient artwork and a golden lectern that a priestess stood at speaking to the gathering.

Nesta slipped in without a sound, occupying the end of a bench near the back. Part of her wished she had dared to enter a temple when she had been lost and adrift in Velaris. It would have been the anchor providing stability. But, another part of her knew that she wouldn’t have been ready to accept the fae part of herself. She wouldn’t have allowed the Mother into her life when she’d been so bereft about what had been left behind. Eris had opened the door to a future inch by inch until Nesta was ready to accept that she was fae and this was her life now.

As bodies filed out ready to celebrate at their homes, a few glanced her way. Their eyes lingered on her, likely doing a double-take when they thought it was the high lady sat quietly in the service.

She waited until only a handful remained saying their own private prayers to step forwards and find a quiet corner to whisper her own to the Mother.

The idea to say a prayer to her own mother and father barely took shape before Nesta rejected it. They didn’t deserve her words. Her thoughts shifted instead to her sister who had barrelled into a mating with a male she’d known for mere months and who now stood at the edge of a cliff about to teeter over.

‘Please protect her,’ Nesta whispered as she lit a candle with her own silver fire. ‘Keep her safe.’

Beyond Feyre, Nesta worried over all of the females she cared for – the ones in the library whose lives had become stagnant through fear, Emerie alone in Illyria, Elain still figuring out her power and her new world, and her mother-in-law forced to live every day with a tyrant.

It was growing dark when Nesta finally left the temple. Her heart was heavy, but it felt as if something greater was helping her to carry the weight. She tipped her head towards the thick clouds, letting a dusting of snow land on her cheeks as she whispered another thanks to the Mother for helping to her to find the love of her life.

@embersofwildfire @this-is-rochelle @fanboy7794 @owllover123 @rarephloxes @sugardoll22 @kitkat-writes-stuff @sv0430

#a court of tangled flames

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daveedee · 19 days

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Parker and Dan's Goodbye

Notes from the author: Dan is a character that belongs to my buddy @rovobeam, Parker is mine. I haven't posted in awhile and I reread this little draft I found in my google docs. This isn't super canon to their story but was a working off point for some ideas and fleshing out characters. Enjoy!

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore, Parker.”

Those words were the beginning of the end and she knew it the moment it left his lips. The air around them changed. The once sweetness of his voice became sour, she could almost taste it. She knew that look on his face, too. The way his eyes wouldn’t look at hers, the crease of his eyebrows furrowed together in thought, the scowl on his lips. Parker knew it well.

She knew what he meant and he didn’t mean them. Whatever they were all these years. They needed each other the same way the sun and moon does. Can't be too close unless it’s an eclipse, those once in a lifetime nights. So far from each other at the solstices, the darkest and longest days of the year. The push and pull of the tides, arguments and crimes. Yet lovely to bake in the warmth of the rays, glances in meetings and brushing of hands in the crowded hallways. It was the kind of love that wasn’t meant to be, they knew that, but it was needed. Needed to know if despite the odds they could make it work. They were both too terribly stubborn to leave without outside conflict. Something kept them always coming back to each other's door.

So when those words hit her ears she knew it was something else. Something worse.

“Do what, Dan?” Her eyes reading his face, trying to memorize as if he was going to disappear into dust in the next moment. She knew every scar and every line. Not only the look but the feel of the puffy skin underneath her finger tips. All those mornings tracing the lines of his body, hoping one day she’d have more than the memory of them.

She almost forgot where she was when he looked at her. The way his eyes seem to fill the pockets of space that always felt void. There was just something about him that invaded her soul, like the lost piece to an old puzzle. The smell of the pine forest was unmistakable though, it had always centered her. They were sitting on her porch in Quebec, away from work for the weekend. She managed to snag some time off and made Dan use his at the same time.

It was almost midnight and they had gone outside for some fresh air. The dim porch light lit up his face, his soft ginger hair a bit grown out, he managed to have even a little stubble on his jaw. They were sitting next to each other in her porch swing, just staring out into the lake that her house sat on the shore of. The dark waters are hauntingly calm, making her want the familiar feel of steel in her hand. Never ask the MTF if they know the body in the water didn’t feel like a joke sometimes. The bugs were quieter tonight, making the sound of the rocking dock even more anxiety inducing. She had always been afraid of the dark. Dan teased her for it saying ‘it’s not the dark that’ll get you. It’s what’s in the dark.’ That was always followed up with you’re an MTF, you’ll be fine or something like that. After seeing the things she has seen working for the Foundation, no amount of training would save her from what was out there.

Despite this, there was nothing like Northern Quebec in the spring. Deer start to come out with their fawn, the monarchs head to the mating grounds, and the birds are flying back up north. Not to mention the new plant life surrounding the woods she lived in. Her tulips and daffodils were starting to bloom. Spring was supposed to be the season of rejuvenation, not the ending of something. Maybe in its own way this was a form of it.

“With the foundation. Next time I have an out, I’m going. Are you coming?” While there was a question mark, seemingly, at the end of his sentence, this wasn’t a question. This was a tell. He finally looked at her. His dark eyes focused on her, reading her expression, hoping to find no doubt. Hoping so deeply her soft lips he knew so well would form a ‘yes’, but it was never that easy with Parker. Parker knew what she wanted, she always had. It was like a red string had been tied to her hand and pulled her in the direction to go. He didn’t want to take her away from that, but for her safety… she could hate him for the rest of his life, as long as she was safe.

He remembers the first mission she had gone on after they decided to be something more than just occasional lovers. His body was racked with worry, his hearts beating so fast you’d think he was a hummingbird. Gosh he didn’t even eat. When she came back with a scratch on her face and a few bruises he almost went to Emmanuel and cursed him out, threatening that if anything were to happen to her he’d rip every limp from his body and feed it to him through his ass. The only thing that calmed him down was when she rested her hands on the sides of his face, with that goofy ‘Parker Smile’. She had said ‘Look at you Mr. Worked Up. Everything is fine, see, all okay.’ He melted into her touch, he still would. Her hands were so soft, her fingernails short but just long enough to run themselves down his back after a long day. God after not seeing her for weeks it was heaven to come home and lay his head in her lap and her hands running through his hair.

“Dan, Amour,” her voice quivered and slipped into her french accent. She took her turn to turn away from him. She knew this was coming, she always had. From the moment she met him when she was twenty-four, forced into becoming an MTF. The day she met him to begin training, so much anger, resentment, hesitation sat on his face like an open book. As he got older he hid it better but it was always there, just below the surface. It came out in the way he did his report, his fingers normally controlled and light, clacking on the keyboard loudly and angrily. It came out in the way he hung up his gear, how he almost flinched seeing the badge on his vest. SECURE.CONTAIN.PROTECT. S.C.P. FOUNDATION. Most of all she saw it in the way he woke up in the morning, the hopeless stare at the mirror, the question of why am I still doing this. This is what you build when you make a child fight an adult’s battle. A battle to win a war that cannot be won. You create enemies. “You know I can’t leave.”

The words in her mouth felt like metallic blood, as if she was cutting out her own heart from her chest. The hurt on his face was evident. He hoped, god, he almost prayed that this would be easy. Her calling had always been to help others, to keep them from suffering the way she suffered. Her job, while brutal, unforgiving, and dangerous, was a chosen one. While MTF wasn’t really in her cards originally she embraced it. She had gone to college, did the time, got requested, applied, and took the job. Parker had a plan, always. Her place was at the Foundation.

“Don’t make me leave you Parker, I don’t think I could do it.” His hand leaves his lap where it had been trembling to touch the softness of her face. Her honey whiskey eyes, dark black eyelashes, and that scar running through her lips made him want to kneel to her. Worship her, even if it was everything she stood against. Idolism was a sin, but not to God, but to humans themselves. Believing in a greater power was a doomed prophecy to fall into the control of another. However, oh, what he would do to eat the fruit of her land and never leave. To wake up every morning and watch the morning glow of the sun bask upon her pale skin. She was Persphone and he would be Hades, waiting for winter to come around so he could be lulled into her endless hold on him.

Parker leaned into his touch, his hands were always a welcome cold. Her eyes closed at the feeling. How could she ever be so cruel as to make him stay. He deserved to be happy, something he would never be with her. As sad as it sounded, she had always known it. She was a part of the thing he hated, and she did it voluntarily. He would never be satisfied, he would always resent her, maybe even one day hate her. ‘If the person you love is happy now, maybe you could be happy later.’ Is what she planned to tell herself when this day came. Nonetheless did it make it any less hard.

“You need to be free from all of this, after everything they did to you… I’m sorry I can’t be free with you.” A tear fell from her eye that she hadn’t noticed had built up and her voice cracked up. Her heart was breaking in her chest. There was something she was acutely aware of her entire life. Parker was the girl you loved before you found the one. Parker was the girl you loved when you started to figure out what you wanted. Parker was a stepping stone for most of her relationships. She always knew what she wanted, what she needed. Apparently that helped others build their own sense of purpose and when they moved on, they moved on happily.

She kissed the palm of the hand holding her face. The look in his eyes wasn’t just sadness, it was betrayal.

#scp #scpfoundation #scp au #scp fandom #scp oc #scp foundation #scp story #scp community

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xx-ingie-xx · 1 year

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Happy Holidays! ✨

I hope everyone has found some R&R in these final weeks of 2022! I wanted to pop in and say I'm still alive, and yes, I still attempt to write from time to time. Yes, I still plan to finish Forgotten and continue the Fortitude revision. Hopefully there's still some interest out there!

I had hoped to finish Forgotten this year, but sadly I will not achieve that goal. I am very close though! Recently I rewrote some things for the millionth time, and my new goal is to post the last chapter + epilogue before February. Fingers crossed!

I figured I should post something before the end of the year, so here's the (short) opening scene of the final chapter. It's a flashback set during the winter solstice, so it seems appropriate to post it during this time of year. 😁

---

Snowflakes drifted about the rooftops of Castletown, illuminated in the glows of lanterns that lined the market square. They settled on every shop and stall, every tree, shrub, and garland, coating the town in a fresh blanket of white. A festive cheer permeated the crisp, winter air, chasing away the cold with music and laughter that rose from lit homes and lively establishments.

How wrong it was, Zelda thought as she tightened the blanket around her shoulders, to gaze upon something so warm and lovely yet feel so cold and gloomy inside.

Of course, her gloominess had little to do with the scene below and everything to do with the man at her side—or more the gift he had given her that night.

He had planned it for weeks, presenting his idea only after the arrangements had been made. At first she had refused him, certain that she could not afford to jeopardize her reputation—not to mention her obligation to another man. But Link persisted, describing his many precautions and promising that none would recognize her once Impa had assisted with her disguise. Eventually Zelda found herself quite unable, or perhaps unwilling, to deny him.

And thus she agreed to sneak into Castletown for a Solstice Eve celebration, posing as a simple village girl for one memorable night of freedom.

She would never regret that choice, but she had failed to anticipate how crushing it would feel once the night was over. That hour drew painfully near, and what had started as a wondrous escape felt more like a painful fantasy...

The touch of warm fingers disrupted her melancholy, brushing away a tear on her cheek. Zelda blinked, and the hand withdrew as she quickly dried her face. She meant to assure Link that she was fine, but a pressure remained stuck in her throat, summoning more tears before she could blink them away. Again she wiped both sides of her face, avoiding his concerned gaze with a frustrated sigh.

Then his hand moved to her lower back, inviting her closer if she wished it. At first she tried to resist, knowing that the more she let him in, the harder it would be to let him go. But the larger part of her caved, knowing she was already well past that point.

So she leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped her in the spare folds of his blanket. She focused on the strength of his arms around her, the comforting weight of his head resting against hers. Neither felt a need to speak, both aware that their blissful escapade would soon reach a most unwanted end.

Zelda tried to recall every detail of that night, wishing she could somehow preserve the memory in perfect clarity. She thought about the warm welcome that Clef and Siena had given her, the rich food and mulled wine that eased her nerves and roused her spirit, the joyful music mingling with near constant laughter and song…

The way she and Link had danced together, never missing a step as they moved in time with the others...

A bell tolled in the distance, breaking Zelda’s reverie with the midnight chime. A faint chorus of cheers sounded from below as merrymakers paused to toast their friends or kiss their beloved.

Link made no move to partake in that tradition, no doubt unsure she would welcome such a thing in her dreary state. Determined not to rob him of a proper end to their perfect night, Zelda pushed her sorrow down as deeply as it would go. Then she lifted her head from his shoulder and steeled herself beneath his gentle gaze.

“...Happy Solstice, Link,” she whispered, bringing a hand to his cheek.

He smiled at her, despite the sadness mirrored in his eyes.

“Happy Solstice, Zelda.”

Then he leaned in close, his nose brushing hers before she eagerly closed the gap. Their blankets fell in a heap about their feet, forgotten while they commemorated the moment long after the chimes had faded.

#Zelda #Zelink #Forgotten #Fortitude #excerpt

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iustitians · 4 months

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A sealed letter makes its way to Neuvillette's desk, alongside a rectangular wooden box tied shut with a silk ribbon.

To Monsieur Neuvillette,

I know this letter will not find you with time on your hands, so I hope it at least finds you in good health. A gift should have been delivered with it. You may have already guessed its contents, but this year I managed to acquire an especially rare blend. This tea is harvested only once a year in the mountains around Qingce Village, on the last full moon night before the winter solstice. Or so I've been told. This batch was dried last year, so if you like it, you may still have some time to sample this year's batch fresh.

Ah, but leisure for the Iudex of Fontaine is probably rarer than the tea itself.

By the way, I've suggested that Sigewinne use her vacation hours soon. She may have something in store for your birthday as well.

Kind regards, Wriothesley

Usually, Neuvillette would spend his formally established birthday holiday in the Merusea Village, enjoying what would often end up being the only day of the year when he was free of his everyday duty and routine. This time around, unfortunately, with the post-disaster damage still far from dealt with and reconstruction efforts in full swing, he had found himself forced to send them an apology a few days prior (consisting of a box of the Melusines' beloved snacks, another box of their favored trinkets, an invitation to see the Court should they wish, and a heartfelt promise to visit them at his earliest opportunity) and remain in his office for the day, steadily working his way through the mounds of applications and reports to keep the newly saved heart of Fontaine beating.

A reply soon arrived, with a bouquet of Romaritime Flowers and a letter reassuring him that they understood and were looking forward to seeing him whenever he was able to visit, bringing him much relief.

Generally speaking, Neuvillette had no other expectations for this day - not this year, and not ever, really. It was not his actual birthday, after all, nor did he ever grow to think of it as such. In some years, of course, commemorative gifts from others did happen, and he was sincerely grateful for them - but he did not await them. If someone sent something, it was very kind of them. If not, that was fine.

However, some people did so more often than others.

As Sedene placed the box on his desk, he cast a glance at it, and the corners of his lips crept slightly upwards as he immediately recognized the handwriting. After the form he had been reading was dealt with, he elected to take a small break and examine it. The Duke was correct, as he just about always was - not only about this, but about many things. Indeed, Neuvillette knew what to expect the instant he realized the identity of the sender. But that was a good thing, as far as the Iudex was concerned; and even then, the routine always had a small, pleasant twist to it, for Wriothesley's talent for procuring new and special blends of tea was to be envied.

... He just finished a stack of documents. A tea break would be quite pleasant right about now, actually.

A letter would be delivered to the Fortress later the same day, extending Neuvillette's thanks, praise for the Duke's taste, and an invitation to the Palais - for both Sigewinne and Wriothesley - at their convenience. Good tea was often even better when sampled in company.

#dukemeropide #✦ ic.#✦ ask.#✦ interaction | wriothesley.#((oh that was so nice to wake up to :pleading_face:))#((thank you! I'm so sad I missed Wrio's birthday because my neck got fucked up and I just Forgor in the chaos))#((next year I will Get You))

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sheliesshattered · 4 months

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Pictures of the new sewing project in process! Finally!

I took pictures yesterday morning, but then didn't get around to posting all day. Here's what the dress looked like yesterday:

And here's a close up of the cotton sweatshirt fleece, to provide a better idea of the sort of texture I'm working with here:

The color is more accurate in the full length shots, but the closeup shows a nice representation of the outside texture: a smooth, fine knit. The inside is fuzzy and just slightly bumpy and very very soft. Wearing it while I typed up that first post the other night proved to be wonderfully warm.

I also took pictures of the pants yesterday morning, with the funny little cones at the end of the leg attached, but no cuffs at that point:

And a closeup of the cone:

I spent my sewing time yesterday getting the cuffs sewn onto the ends of the pants, and the sleeves sewn onto the dress. And then I futzed with the fit of the sleeve caps a bit, eventually taking about 1.5cm off of both the top of the sleeve and the panel it attaches to at the top of the shoulder, grading out back to the previous seamline over the course of about 8 or 10cm both front and back. The shoulders stuck out a bit too far in the original version, but now lay quite nicely:

The dress is meant to be a bit on the overlarge size, not tight through the torso but just sort of skimming my body. In an effort to get the shoulders to fit a bit better, I took in the center back and side back seams a bit last night, but looking at it in a try-on late last night, and then on the hanger this morning, I'm not sure that I like the look at all. But I haven't cut any of the excess fabric off on those seams, so it'll just be an issue of picking out the new stitches to return it to the previous seamlines. Bit tedious, but worth it, I think.

Besides picking out last night's misadventure in fitting, for the dress I need to turn under a hem on the sleeves and probably handsew that, and then decide on any adjustments to the neckline -- I'll probably cut it a bit wider, now than the panel next to the sleeve is also narrower -- and turn under the edge and handsew it too. After that it'll just be leveling and turning under the hem on the skirt. Because there are so many panels in this dress, there's not a ton of bias in the skirt, but I've been letting it hang like in the photos any time I'm not actively working on it, so hopefully any bias drop that is going to happen has pretty much done its thing.

Onto the pants, and I'm quite happy with how the cuffs turned out:

So that just leaves the waistline. These turned out much wider at the waist than I had anticipated, and I realized belatedly that I don't actually want to have much in the way of gathering in these (unlike the pajama pants they're based on) because the fabric is so think and it'll be really visible under the smooth lines of the dress. I've got it pinned in at the top, and I need to transfer that to chalk markings and then sew the new seams to take it in at the waist and hip. Once that's done, I'll just need to turn under the top edge for the elastic casing, and then the pants will be done.

I have a few work commitments on my plate today, and I want to do some holiday baking in the next couple of days as well, but I'm still really hoping to be able to get both the dress and the pants done in time for Solstice on Thursday. Not a huge deal if they're wearable but not completely finished, as I'll just be wearing them at home anyway, but it'd be nice to check it off as completely done sometime soon.

#my sewing #winter fleece dress #solstice dress

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penncilkid · 8 months

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Sorry to bother but csn i get a list from first to last on who should i listen to first?

because in the pinned post the first one mentioned was romeo but when i went to check in you channel he wasn't the first one and i got confused

Sorry and thank you:)

Of course! So this list is A) based on my personal perception of my story/speakers and B) what friends of mine who listen to the channel have done. This doesn't have be stuck to strictly, this is just one possible option

First off, I'd save the "contemporary" speakers for last. That's Dominique, Kordelia, and Mycah. (Note: That said, I would suggest going through Domi's playlist first out of those three)

Romeo is a good place to start primarily because of Sunshine as a listener. They're new to the vivified world, so you get the benefit of having certain things explained early on. It also introduces you to Solstice (though her playlist doesn't completely overlap with Romeo's).

From there, I would suggest either Nova or Jessalyn. Both interact with Sunshine on top of having their own designated listeners, and I've found that Nova especially seems to be a good way to ease into the rest of the world.

Emerson is part of "the Swarm" (how I refer to the characters attending HIVE) but shows up later on, so I'd suggest them last out of that group.

Serena pops up in a few of Nova's videos, so moving on to her is a good next step.

Valora would be my next suggestion as the start of her playlist is lighter while slowly working towards something more relevant to the narrative. She's also a great way to get the vampiric lore

Harley or Eritus is a good next move, I can't say I'd lean towards suggesting one of them sooner than the other. If you're interested in another vamp, go with Harley. Another cupid, go with Eri.

Last but not least (minus the contemporary speakers), "Retriever". She's only got a handful of audios, you'll be more than fine saving her for last.

As I said at the start, this is just one option/route! I know people who have gone through the Full Collection playlist chronologically and others who have picked speaker playlists at random to binge. The choice is totally up to you! I hope you enjoy.

#Noderum Asks #PK Answers

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pxssnelke · 1 year

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without me // beautiful stranger

✧ T, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings ✧ 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS ✧ Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Park Jimin ✧ background taejinkook, Fae & Fairies, Alternate Universe - Fae, Scars, burn scars to be specific, Past Character Death, only mentioned and it's no one of bangtan, vmin friendship, also jikook frienship, Angst, soft, it's NOT stalkers creepy at all promise, Dancing, Solstice, both solstices, Equinox ✧ posted 10/2020, 6.2k

He’s back, the next day. And the next and the next and the next. Jimin always stands at the same place. The edge of the forest just a few meters behind him, on the meadow next to the big tree. The needles give him shade and the trunk gives him cover. It’s a beautiful place, in the mornings, when the sun has risen just so and his feet are wet up to the ankles from the dew drops that have formed over night, in the evenings, when the grass is still warmed from the sun. Jimin stands there, looks at where the sun moves over the house with the fire and the human. He always just stands there, looks. Never longer than a few minutes. Never long enough for anyone to see him. He just watches, entranced, enticed by the human moving around and working and smiling, smiling so big. He just watches, nothing more, nothing less and it’s fine. Entertainment, he thinks. A play thing, he thinks. (His, he doesn’t think.)

#fic #bts #jihope #jung Hoseok #park jimin #kpop #fae #scars #angst #dancing #solstice

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thegreyj · 1 year

Note

Hello! 👋 it’s your Yulemas Exchange Secret Santa here!

I read your comments on the likes and dislikes post, but I wanted to ask you a few more questions.

What holiday/s do you normally celebrate (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice, etc.)? If you don’t mind me asking

Do you normally have a White Christmas? Do you like White Christmases?

How do you feel about Workplace Rivals to Lovers? The romantic and sexual tension hiding behind snark and banter? I love it, do you?

Do you prefer Established Relationship or Pre/New Relationship?

What is something specials about the Holidays that is meaningful to you?

I may have more questions but that’s it for now 😊 have a wonderful day

Ooh hello!! 👋 this is very exciting 😁

I celebrate Christmas (and no I don't mind asking!) But I do love reading about them all 😊

Yes we generally have a very winter wonderland kind of White Christmas - tons of snow, frozen lakes etc. Also only a couple hours of daylight, but then again northern lights are fairly common.

OH I LOVE THAT workplace rivals (yes please) to lovers (double yes please!) - the tension so thick you could practically cut it, snarky comments.... I absolutely adore it!!!!!😍

I don't really have a preference on whether an established relationship or a new one, so both are very much fine! (But I do love the chase so maybe I lean a little more on the new relationship?)

Christmas time / the holidays for me means being with family, relaxing by the fireplace and so much good food! I do have some traditions I tend to follow on Christmas too, like decorating the tree on the morning of Christmas Eve and the Christmas sauna is a very important thing too!

For me Christmas begins on Christmas Eve, and that's when we actually celebrate - Christmas Day is for eating leftovers, lazing around in pajamas and fluffy socks and watching sappy Christmas movies 😄

I hope this helps or gives you insight and/or inspiration too! And I wish you an incredibly wonderful day as well 🥰

#ask #from my secret santa

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flora-shadowshine · 2 years

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A lovely birthday

Hello everyone! This is the first thing I actually had the courage to post after writing it, so here goes nothing. In this oneshot Azriel and Gwyn have already been friends for about two years, so they have done some of their healing already. Further from that the only thing I have left to say is that feedback would be really appreciated since I really want to improve my writing. I hope you have a lovely day:)

Word Count: 2,678

Warning: Slight language

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34898278

Azriel

Azriel was just finishing up cleaning the kitchen when his shadows whispered to him the lovely priestess will be here in an hour. Azriel still didn’t know why his shadows called Gwyn that, but he couldn’t disagree. Gwyn was indeed lovely, he and Gwyn had developed such a great friendship over the last year. Which is how he found himself here, hurrying to get the kitchen clean and maybe shower before she arrived.

A moment later Azriel was all ready and clean for the party. He had been planning this with Nesta for a couple of weeks. They got the idea on winter solstice, the valkyries, Cassian and Azriel had all decided to celebrate together that year. They had kept it casual with a nice dinner and some games in the house of wind. At one point Gwyn had drunkenly mentioned she would love a surprise party. One thing led to another and soon Azriel found himself together with Nesta planning a party for their dearest friend whose birthday would be soon.

Nesta would take Gwyn out into Velaris together with Emerie, while Cassian and Azriel would set up the party. Azriel was assigned with baking a cake, while Cass had to set up decorations in the private library of Nesta.

Today was Gwyn’s birthday, and until now it had been a disaster.

He has been attempting to bake a cake for most of the day. He knew he could technically ask The House for a cake, but Nesta told him specifically to bake one. She had given him a recipe that couldn’t go wrong according to Emerie.

She told him it would be simple. Azriel thought it would be simple.

Until he found himself in the kitchen of The house of Wind, both him and the kitchen covered in ingredients of what is supposed to be a cake. The first attempt at a cake went incredibly wrong. As did the second. And now he was on his third attempt. Everything went well, he added all the right measurements and ingredients. The batter even turned out as described in the recipe. And then he put the cake in the oven, while cleaning the kitchen and going for a quick shower. Everything went perfectly fine, and now Az would have the time to help Cassian with the final decorations.

Azriel and Cassian both plopped down on the couch in the library some time later. They had spent the last half an hour getting everything perfect just as Nesta had instructed. Cassian let out a loud sigh while saying ‘’Who knew hanging up faelights and putting down pillows could be so exhausting?’’

It was indeed exhausting, especially because they both didn’t want to get killed by Nesta if anything was less than perfect. ‘’It is only exhausting if Nesta instructs you to do something for Gwyn.’’ Azriel responds. ‘’Indeed, she would do anything for that female’’ As would we whispered his shadows. Azriel didn’t know why, but his shadows had grown quite fond of the copper haired priestess. They didn’t shy away from her like they did with everyone else. Instead they danced through her beautiful copper hair and sang her name over and over all of the time.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. It’s the fire alarm whispered his shadows. Azriel realized he fucked up badly as his shadows said that. ‘’What in the cauldron is making this sound?’’ exclaims Cassian. ‘’Its the fucking fire alarm Cass.’’

Azriel was already on his way to the kitchen, hoping he could still save the cake somehow. He wouldn’t have time to bake a new one. How could he forget to get the cake out of the oven? His shadows had managed to turn off the fire alarm as Azriel was taking the incredibly burned cake out of the oven. It smelt as horrible as it looked. The House had already opened a window, hoping to get rid of the smell of burnt cake.

Just as he was going to say something to Cassian he heard the familiar voice of Gwyn floating down the hallway. Fuck. Before he could do anything else the valkyries rounded the corner, making their way into the kitchen. His shadows were desperately trying to hide the cake from Nesta hoping she wouldn’t notice the burnt cake. But as he catches Nesta’s eye he knew she had noticed already. Of course she had. He had never received such a deadly glare before. She would definitely kill him later today.

He was already making up some poor excuse when Gwyn let out a laugh at the scene before her. ‘’Trying to make a cake Shadowsinger?’’ Azriel already felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. He opened his mouth when Nesta cut him off ‘’Gwyn, could you and Emerie go to the library already? We’ll be there in a few minutes.’’ Gwyn was trying to protest but Emerie whispered something in her ear while dragging her away to the library. Oh she was definitely going to kill him now.

‘’Would any of you care to elaborate?’’ she asked, looking incredibly scary. Mother bless Cassian as he saved their asses by saying ‘’We thought it would be a fun activity to bake a cake together’’ Nesta shot him a glare, silently telling him to continue.

‘’Azriel tried to bake a cake, and he obviously failed. So we thought it would be nice, you know. To bake one together’’ Nesta quirked an eyebrow at that, obviously not buying the bullshit her mate just told her.

‘’Okay, we’ll bake a cake together then. But don’t think you’ll be getting away with this. The only reason I’m not killing both of you now is because I don’t want to upset Gwyn.’’ Nesta said as she was walking towards the library to get her friends.

‘’You owe me one.’’ Cassian laughs as he follows Nesta to the library, leaving Azriel alone in the kitchen.

Gwyn

Today was lovely, Gwyn thought to herself. Normally her birthday was filled with grief for her twin sister. But thanks to her incredible friends, her mood had cleared up quickly. Nesta and Emerie had surprised Gwyn by taking her to Velaris for an incredible brunch this afternoon. And when she had come back, her friends had surprised her once again with the library all decorated. Her heart had clenched at the gesture, she never thought she would people care so much about her.

Gwyn’s thoughts got interrupted by a handful of flour in her face from Azriel. Even though Emerie was the only one actually baking, the whole kitchen and her group of friends were covered in the ingredients of a cake. Cassian was the one who started it all, when he tried to juggle with a few eggs and one landed on Nesta. In return Nesta had thrown a handful of flour to him.

Which is how Gwyn found herself chasing the Shadowsinger around the kitchen with an egg in her hands. Nesta was sitting on the counter, whispering something to Cassian and Emerie while looking amused at her and Azriel.

‘’Nesta don’t be rude, no whispering in company!’’ she said while throwing the egg at Azriel with a surprisingly good aim. ‘’I’ll do whatever I want to, this is my house.’’ Nesta said in return.

Gwyn was going to open her mouth to comment at that as Azriel threw her over his shoulder.

‘’Azriel put me down!’’ Gwyn said ,she would make him pay for this.

‘’Make me’’ Azriel replied, still amused at Gwyn trying to get out of his grip. ‘’Please take this to the training ring if you're going to get aggressive,’’ Nesta said to both of them. ‘’I don’t want this kitchen getting ruined any more.’’ Gwyn snorts as she says ‘’As if you ever use this kitchen.’’ Cassian lets out a loud laugh with which he earns a smack on his head from Nesta. ‘’No need to get aggressive now Nes.’’

Emerie chuckles at that as she takes the cake out of the oven. Cassian immediately walks over to her. ‘’Em, I can tell you that looks and smells way better than Azriel’s attempts.’’

Gwyn hadn’t even realized it but she was still thrown over the shadowsingers shoulder. Even though she was still overwhelmed by big groups and other males. She wasn’t scared at all for Cassian and Azriel anymore. The casual touches were no longer bothering her, and she even found herself enjoying them sometimes.

Deciding to get her payback on Az she pinched his butt. He was so taken by surprise that he almost dropped her. He carefully dropped her back to the ground as she started laughing. She dared a quick look at his face and couldn’t stop but notice the dusting of red across his cheeks. Ever since she made Az blush last week during training, she had made it her mission to do it as much as she could. And, of course she had not once failed at her attempts.

When she looked back up at Az she found him already looking at her. His shadows were playfully looking over his shoulder, and some brave ones carefully darting towards Gwyn. It seemed like an eternity that they were just standing there, staring at each other. But that eternity came to an end when Cassian started clearing his throat loudly. When she looked over Az’s shoulder she noticed Nesta and Emerie were already gone.

‘’Did you hear any of the things we just said?’’ Cassian asked amused. Gwyn tried to recall if there really was anything that was said, but couldn’t remember if there was any. She was too lost in Az’s eyes to notice. No. No, you are not going down this road Gwyn. But his eyes really are a beautiful hazel, with some sparks of green spattered through them. Gwyn, focus.

Gwyn realized she once again missed what was being said because when she looked up, Az and Cassian were both looking at her expectantly. The latter looked even more amused than before. ‘’I’m going to go since I just know there won’t be any cake left if Nesta and Emerie will be alone with it for any longer.’’ Cassian said as he walked out of the kitchen.

Gwyn felt a slight blush creeping up her neck as well. How could she be so distracted by the shadowsinger that she hadn’t even heard anything being said to her. She decided it would be for the better to hurry and join her friends in the library. She gave Az one quick glance before saying ‘’Well, don’t just stand there Shadowsinger. There’s cake waiting for us.’’

Azriel

A few hours later, Azriel was walking back towards the library after winnowing Emerie back to Windhaven. She still had to check on her store, and since it was already getting quite late she really had to leave. Az still hadn’t given Gwyn her present, which is why he hoped she would still be up with Cassian and Nesta.

As he rounded the corner, he blinked in surprise as he took in the scene before him.

Cassian was sitting on the sofa, while Nesta was braiding his hair and Gwyn was painting his Nails in a bright red. The smart choice would have been to walk backwards slowly and just give the present to Gwyn tomorrow. But before he could do just that, Cassian saw him and started grinning wickedly.

Oh no. ‘’Gwyn, I think azriel would love to have his nails painted as well.’’ Gwyn’s face lit up with joy, and Azriel couldn’t do anything else than start walking toward her. ‘’Oh, I just happen to have the perfect colour for you Az!’’ Gwyn said as she started picking up a deep blue.

She motioned to the spot beside her on the couch, while looking rather amused. His shadows were already darting out to her. Something they’ve been doing a lot recently. His shadows had never felt so comfortable around someone as they did around Gwyn. Instead of shying away from her like they do with everyone, they dance through her copper hair. And to be honest he also felt more comfortable around her than with anyone else. When he was around her he not once was ashamed of his scars. Of his past. Not anymore, not since Gwyn had shown him there was nothing to be ashamed of.

Which is how he found himself here, proudly showing off his painted nails to his friends. Not even trying to hide his hands. It was already getting deep into the night as Gwyn said ‘’It’s getting quite late, I think I’ll be heading to bed.’’ Without even thinking about it Azriel said ‘’I’ll walk with you, I think everyone should try to get some rest’’

‘’Well goodnight to the both of you then.’’ Nesta said while getting up as well. Gwyn was stalking through the doorway as she bid goodnight to her friends. ‘’Don’t be late for training tomorrow!’’ Cassian announced as Gwyn flipped him off in return.

Since Gwyn moved into The House of Wind a couple of months ago, her and Azriel’s rooms were only a couple of doors apart from each other. And as they were walking towards their rooms, Az remembered he still had to give Gwyn her present.

He slowed down while saying ‘’Gwyn, I know you asked for no presents, but well....’’ he trailed off and handed her the small package, and as she accepted the present their hands brushed for the shortest of moments. Azriel couldn’t stop but notice how soft her skin was. Or how welcoming the touch felt. Gwyn pulled him out of his thoughts by saying ‘’Thank you Az! Really, you didn’t have to. This is incredible,thank you so much.’’

His shadows had started dancing through her hair once again. ‘’You’re welcome, I overheard you talking about it the other day and couldn't stop myself from buying the book when I saw it last week.’’

He looked down at her and her teal eyes were filled with joy. She looked beautiful in the pale moonlight that was seeping through the windows. They were standing so close to each other.

He was enveloped in her scent, and was drowning in her eyes. If he would move his head just slightly down their lips would meet. Cauldron he wanted to kiss her so badly right now. He shouldn’t be thinking about her like that. They had grown so close to each other over the years, and he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. But it was so tempting to brush his lips against hers softly.

He was still contemplating whether he should or should not kiss her when he heard glass breaking down the hall. He stepped away from Gwyn quickly, his shadows were still dancing around both of them. When he turned to see what the sound was he saw Cassian and Nesta, the latter with her hand covering Cassian’s mouth, probably to shut him up. And next to them on the ground was a broken vase.

Before he could even ask for an explanation Nesta said ‘’Sorry! Don’t worry about us, this idiot just broke the vase while we were on our way to our room. The house will clean it up. Goodnight!’’ He blinked in amusement, she was obviously lying since their room was on the other side of the house for the sake of him and Gwyn having a good night's sleep.

Nesta turned on her heels dragging Cassian with her. ‘’Well, i certainly do not want to know what those two were up to.’’ Azriel said as Gwyn started to laugh. ‘’Knowing them, probably nothing we want to know. I really should be heading to bed now though. Thank you so much for today, I had an amazing time.’’

‘’I had a great time as well Gwyn, Goodnight’’

‘’Sleep well Shadowsinger.’’ She said as she stalked into her room. And that night, Azriel really did sleep well. His dreams filled with teal and copper, not once disturped by nightmares.

Tell me if you'd want to be added to my taglist!

Taglist: @julemmaes @meher-sumedha

#gwynriel #gwynriel fanfiction #gwynriel fics #gwynriel fluff #gwynriel oneshot #gwyn berdara #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger #the valkyries #nesta x gwyn x emerie #emerie

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kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings · 2 years

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KNY (collaboration) In The Summer - Masterlist

A KNY collaboration for Summer - celebrating the ending of spring and the arrival of Summer (Summer Solstice) - made + started by kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings ^---^

Hear the song of the birds:

As the end of spring draws near you hope for the warmth of summer, for the birds to sing louder and brighter, the chance to spend more time with friends and loved one’s and the sun to shine on your face...

But maybe, on the lilting song notes of the birds, there’s also the chance to celebrate the changing of the season with romance?

RULES + INFO:

OK folks lets get this show on the road! First things first, the rules OwO

send me an ask to be included in the list!

make sure to tell me which character (or characters) you’d like to write or draw for and the genre!

Your also allowed to join to do both a piece of art and a piece of writing - there isn’t a limit to how many pieces of work you’d like to produce! So long as you tell me ahead of time

Any genre is welcome

Please know that character’s can be repeated

Please keep kind and polite when asking to join! There won’t be any check-in’s unless you’d like there to be - I’m always open! And I’m more than happy to help - and there isn’t an entry deadline

All genre’s and AU’s are welcome in this collab so make sure to specify when you message to join - although if your not too sure that fine too, i’ll leave a small list below for you guys to look through,

Genre’s:

Fluff Angst Hurt/Comfort Smut/Lemon/NSFW Song Fic - remember to add in the song or at least a link to it Dark

Alternative Universe - AU:

God’s and Goddesses Soulmates Western OR Medieval - anything historical Modern day Mirror universe Coffee Shop

There will be more of course that you can pick from, it’s just that these are what first came to mind! These are just examples ^--^

If possible please keep to a warm colour palette + theme! Gold can be included too as well as neutral colours + maybe some pastels

Just a small reminder! Please remember to tag your works - warnings, genre etc. - with anything that fits your work! Add in the collaboration title + a link to the master-list (this that your on right now!) please make sure to tag me so I can see your awesome work too! And please make sure to use the tag,

KNY Collab - In the Summer

As soon as you post your work, you get added to this Master-list!

There isn’t a work limit or an art limit so make as much as you’d like!

Picnic + Party Goers - Collaborators:

Artists + Editors:

None

Writers:

writing-with-caramel - Tanjirou Kamado (Fluff)

cherryblossomsempai - Tanjirou Kamado (Fluff)

thelovehashira143 - Mitsuri Kanroji (Greek God AU) - Title: Ador <3

shinkiyo [DEACTIVATED] - Enmu (God AU)

Both:

devilsrose666 - Rengoku Kyojurou

#KNY Collab - In the Summer #kny #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kny collaboration #kny collab #demon slayer collaboration #demon slayer collab #kimetsu no yaiba collab #kimetsu no yaiba collaboration #gem talks #i'm so excited

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empressapprentice · 3 years

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Arcana Headcanons: Infidelity + M6

I’m back with more headcanons, and will be sharing even more soon as I have more free time! My last batch was super sweet and fluffy, these are decidedly not. I’m doing these headcanons as character study exercises, and since the LIs are so devoted to you in-game, I wanted to think about what could possibly motivate them to cheat. Not all of these involve sex because I thought that certain characters would consider emotional interactions cheating on their partner. But warning for non-explicit sexual content for several of the M6--I’d say this is PG-13. These are kind of long, but I felt I needed some good exposition to set things up. I hate how much I enjoy angst :( Feedback and requests are always welcomed: if you hate it or love it, let me know why so I can improve! Plus, check out my Ao3 here, where I’ll be posting these as well.

Asra

Asra will never, ever regret giving up half his heart for you. But one night, he can’t sleep, feeling regret for the friendships and relationships he missed out on because it’s so difficult to form connections with others. He wishes that while he waited for you to recover from the resurrection, he’d been able to let others into his life.

He’s slept with people other than you (Julian, for one), but not since you woke up after the ritual. He realizes that he can’t remember any of his previous encounters. He completely forgot what anyone other than you feels like to hold and to touch.

The next day, he tells you that he wants to take a quick overnight trip to Nopal. With such late notice, you can’t tag along. He just wants to spend some time alone and actually get to know the villagers for once, intending to practice his social skills and break the cycle of isolation he unintentionally maintained with the people there.

When he sits around the fire, eating and sharing stories with the villagers, a handsome young man approaches him. He says that he’s always had a crush on the mysterious magician, but could tell that Asra was never open to getting to know anyone. Asra, remembering that he doesn’t know what it’s like to be close to someone else, starts flirting back. Before he knows it, his lips are brushing against the stranger’s.

The moment their lips meet, Asra pulls back sharply, overcome with guilt for betraying your trust. He shakily apologizes to the young man, saying he didn’t know what came over him. He runs back to his hut, gets on the Beast and travels back to Vesuvia as fast as possible. Faust comforts him as he sobs silently, thinking about never wanting to leave your arms again.

Nadia

Nadia is visiting a neighboring territory and sitting through a very, very boring dinner with dignitaries. She’s been away from Vesuvia for a week and anticipates having to stay for at least one more as negotiations drag on. She’s loath to admit it, but she’s lonely. The letters you’ve exchanged via Chandra only make the separation more painful.

So when a diplomat approaches her with questions about Vesuvia, she’s happy to have some company. She clearly admires Nadia quite a bit and compliments the work she’s done to turn Vesuvia around.

While basking in her companion’s kind words, she unconsciously moves closer to the other woman. It doesn’t take long for the conversation to become personal, moving away from professional networking. And even more quickly, the conversation becomes flirty. When Nadia moves her hand to touch the other woman, her intentions are clear. The diplomat is flattered, but hesitant, asking, “Aren’t you married?”

Nadia is momentarily stunned by the question, but refuses to lose her composure. The lie comes easily, from years of schmoozing fellow politicians. She replies that her marriage is open. The diplomat smiles, unaware of the shame pooling in Nadia’s core. She sheepishly invites the Countess back to her room.

Though the dinner is long over and the party moved into the sitting room for a digestif, many having already left, Nadia finds herself worried how it would look for the two of them to leave together. She hates herself for worrying more about appearances than you, but she’s been particularly hungry for the feel of a body next to her in bed and she’s frustrated at not being able to get what she wants for once. So, she agrees.

She excuses herself, saying that she must retire for the night, and waits a few moments for the diplomat to leave as well.

Nadia excuses herself after the shameful act, saying she must be in her own bed when servants come to wake her in the morning. She spends the rest of the night staring at her ceiling, vowing to never tell you about her indiscretion. You find out, of course, knowing your wife too well for her to hide that something’s wrong.

Julian

One night, he goes to the Rowdy Raven and is mid-tankard of Salty Bitters while animatedly telling the story of how he helped defeat the Devil. When he finishes weaving the tale, he heads back to the bar to another drink. Before he can get his coin purse to pay, an extremely attractive stranger tells Barth to put it on their tab--payment for the entertaining story.

Julian gratefully accepts, sliding into a seat to chat with the stranger. Whether consciously or unconsciously, Julian turns his charm up even more, wanting to make sure he keeps them entertained. They swap introductions, Julian’s natural tendency to call people affectionate names and his rakish attitude being interpreted as flirtation.

As the stranger returns the affection, Julian realizes what’s happening but doesn’t want to stop it. He’s practically glowing from the kind words flowing from the mouth of his new friend and is addicted to the feeling. A nagging voice tells him he should get back home to you, but it is quieted when the stranger moves closer to him, running a finger over his chest.

The stranger downs their drink and gets up abruptly. They tell Julian to finish his drink and meet them in the alley outside, with a cheeky comment about seeing what else his mouth could do thrown over their shoulder as they walk out the back of the tavern.

Julian’s breath catches at the thought of a clandestine alleyway quickie, and he can’t deny how appealing the idea seems to him. He stares at the drink remaining in his glass, fighting a mental war over whether to finish it quickly and run to the alley.

Barth approaches Julian, noticing he was about to finish his latest drink and anticipating a request for a refill. While waiting for Julian to finish, he makes light conversation with him. When he asks how you are doing, Julian bolts upright. His face reddens at the mention of your name, knowing he made a grave mistake even considering the stranger’s offer.

Julian leaves the rest of his drink untouched. He awkwardly gets up, says goodnight to Barth and hopes that he won’t run into the stranger when he exits the Raven out the front door. Mercifully, he doesn’t, but he might not have even noticed, he was so focused on getting back to you.

When he reaches the front door of the place you share, he’s sobbing. Even though it’s late, you are waiting up for him, knowing that he often needs you to offer him water and get him to eat some food after a night out. He falls on his knees before you, utterly broken by the kindness of you waiting to take care of him, and begs you to listen to him one last time. He tells you, again, that he is no good for you and it is inevitable he will break your heart. He confesses everything that happened at the bar, his voice breaking when he says how close he was to cheating on you. He admits in a small voice that he will never be worthy of you--despite all he’s changed, he’s always one step away from hurting you.

Lucio

Lucio is dressed in a new outfit, finely made and very flattering. He is about to attend a party at his estate in honor of the summer solstice. The last step in his pre-party ritual before joining you and making a grand entrance fashionably late is to admire himself in the mirror. He poses and struts in front of it, hyping himself up for the night, but stopping short as he notices a grey hair in his meticulously coiffed style.

Moving closer to the mirror, he is horrified that several other grey hairs have popped out since the last time he dyed his hair, not long ago. Stepping back, he frantically tries to change the style to hide them, shrieking as he realizes the wrinkles on his forehead are deeper than he remembers. The time-honored ritual, which has never failed to put him in the right mindset for a night of socialization, has only made him more self-conscious about his age than ever.

He starts pacing around his room, heels clicking and mind racing. He feels a strange sense of longing for his old life, when he had no responsibilities and never worried about the consequences of his actions. He’s old now, and he wishes for the freedom and stupidity of youth.

When he makes the grand entrance with you at the party, his heart isn’t really in it. He immediately heads for a servant, demanding a glass of hard liquor instead of his usual sparkling wine. One glass turns into several, and it’s not long before he’s very intoxicated. You see Lucio drinking more than usual, but you keep getting distracted by guests and can’t figure out what’s going on with him.

Once he’s drunk enough to not care about anything--just as he intended--he makes eye contact with an attractive woman in a slinky gown and winks. His rough flirting works, as the woman comes up to him. He feels a mixture of pride and shame that he’s still attractive and powerful enough to draw someone in with nothing more than a wink.

They chat briefly, but they both know Lucio desires more than conversation and the guest is more than willing to oblige. He takes the woman’s hand, leading her to an alcove far away from the party and they begin to make out. Soon his pants are at his ankles and they’re doing far more than kissing. It’s rough, messy and fast, exactly the thing he would have done in his life before he got the plague and before you.

The woman leaves him panting when they’ve both finished. His stomach drops as he realizes that this cheap attempt at feeling young again only made him feel worse. He realizes with a start that he jeopardized the thing that actually fulfills him and makes him truly happy.

Muriel

Muriel dislikes social interactions with pretty much everyone, especially strangers. How could he possibly cheat on you when he can hardly stand to spend time around his friends?

But as he becomes more comfortable with being around people, he starts spending time around the Palace. Usually, he’s waiting for you to finish your duties with Nadia so he can walk you home or go back to the shop for dinner, but sometimes he comes early so he can spend a quiet moment in the gardens.

The more time he spends at the Palace, befriending some of Lucio’s poorly-behaved albino animals and trying to train them, the more time he spends with a certain servant determined to befriend him.

At first, they don’t even catch his attention, he’s so used to tuning other people out. But this servant notices his gentle nature and sometimes brings him some water or tea and a pastry while he’s sitting by the fountain. They claim that they’ve been trained to always serve the needs of their guests, but they’re mostly interested in getting Muriel to open up.

After several weeks of Muriel becoming used to the servant and accepting that they can be trusted, he begins exchanging a few words with them beyond a grunted thanks for the refreshments. The way the servant approaches him reminds him of you and he finds he doesn’t mind light conversation to entertain him and distract him from Lucio’s pets.

One day, he realizes with a start that he not only trusts the servant and enjoys their company, but that he finds them attractive. He panics, not knowing how to tell you. He feels so ashamed of himself for letting someone new in and he’s never felt attracted to someone like this before, other than with you. He’s confused on how to handle his feelings and how he should tell you, if at all.

He confesses the situation to Asra before going to you. Asra is very kind and supportive, saying that it is natural to find other people attractive and that it’s a good sign that he is willing to let a stranger befriend him. But Muriel can’t shake the idea that he’s done wrong by you and refuses to come back to the gardens.

Portia

Given how much Portia likes secrets and romance stories, I think a part of her would love the idea of a sneaky romance. Portia is a deeply practical person, but there are times where she can get carried away with romanticism. The thrill of getting away with it and using her knowledge of the secret passages in the Palace, etc. to hide a tryst holds some appeal to her, but she’d feel ashamed of even fantasizing about it.

She has to work on the first night of the Masquerade after the events of the game due to her new responsibilities at the Palace. Out of solidarity, you work too, creating real-time magical spectacles to surprise guests. To keep up the aesthetic, you’re both still wearing costumes and masks.

While Portia is in the ballroom, she’s fretting over the floral displays and a heavily intoxicated person knocks into her, sending the vase flying. Before Portia can even react, she falls into strong arms, rescuing her from the splashing water and strewn flowers. She turns to thank the stranger, and they say she can express her gratitude by granting them a dance. In the spirit of the Masquerade, she accepts.

She and the stranger twirl around the dance floor to a fast-paced song. The stranger is a fantastic dancer and leads Portia through the steps flawlessly. They end the song by dipping her low. The music switches to a slow ballad while the lights dim. Still breathless, the stranger pulls Portia close, and she loses herself in the moment. The ambiance is incredible, and kissing a gorgeous masked stranger at a ball could not be more storybook-perfect. Their lips touch, until a swirl of magical energy brushes her and she remembers you. She steps back from the stranger and runs off, forgetting about her duties, the flowers on the ground and the rest of the Masquerade. She feels horrible about kissing someone other than you but can’t shake the smug pleasure deep inside her that loves her fairytale romance coming to life.

#the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana main 6 #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #lucio morgasson #portia devorak #muriel of the kokhuri #pain and angst #nic arcana headcanons

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uglypastels · 4 years

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To the Beat // drummer!Tom 1/2

(a/n) here it is!!! it took about a decade of my life but i think it was worth it also shoutout to @duskholland for hearing out my ideas when i was brainstorming and together with @captainpeggy40 for getting me through my breakdowns while writing. i got it finished!! <3 I really went all out with this fic, so i hope you guys enjoy it!! part 2 will come... sometime this week ;)

word count: 7939 (unnecessary content GALORE)

warning: drinking, swearing, crowded spaces, part 2 contains smut

you can find the band’s setlist here

not all songs are mentioned in the fic but it’s songs that i would really love to see them play haha. if anyone would be interested, i can make a seperate post on how i imagine them playing it (who sings and stuff idk)

Read part 2 here <---> extra headcanons here

With the right stranger, one night can feel like a lifetime.

“Will you please come?” your friend begged you over the phone. “It’s gonna be really fun!”

“You know, you say that a lot, yet I never have as much fun as you promise.” You sat down on your bed, looking out the window as the rain hit every surface outside. It was not exactly the weather you felt like going out in.

“Then that’s on your extremely high expectations, not on me.” She stated, “But pleeease.” She kept on whining, and you knew she wouldn’t stop until you gave in. It always went like this. Always.

“Ugh, fine.” you fell back on the soft mattress, your head only missing the pillow by an inch. “Where is it actually?” There was the question you both dreaded. You, because you knew you wouldn’t like the answer. Her, because she knew you wouldn’t either.

“It’s at Suki’s,” she mumbled, but you could still hear her just fine.

“That’s where you work right- please don’t tell me you’re working tonight?!” you groaned into the phone.

“I am, but I’ll be done around 9.30 I think, so there’s still plenty of time for us to hang out! Besides, you already said yes, and NO TAKE BACKSIES!” she said this all extremely fast and screamed the last two words into your ear. Then, on top of that, hung up as soon as she finished, not giving you even a second to fight back. Not sure what happened, you stared at the black screen of your phone in confusion.

She said the concert started at nine o’clock. Did she really expect you to go to this thing and spend half an hour by yourself? Or did she want you to sit at the bar while she poured drinks for everyone? Either way, none of those options felt appealing. For a solid minute, you contemplated just not going, just… not showing up. Turning off your phone and watching a movie or something at home.

But at the same time, you hadn’t left the house for a long time. And it was Friday night. Why not go out and see some obscure little band. What was their name again? Your friend had mentioned it, but you already forgot. Maybe it was for the better too. That way, you couldn’t look them up beforehand, and if they were shit, you would just find out there and not have another thing to be dreading as you got ready. Or maybe they would be good. Then it would be a pleasant surprise on the spot.

You checked the time. 7:27pm. That gave you about an hour to get ready and then some time to actually get to the bar. Should be doable.

So, you hopped in the shower to get all fresh again. Even if it would all get ruined later on in the night by standing in a sweaty crowd. It’s the effort to look presentable that counts. Then, you picked out an outfit that would be comfortable in the before mentioned crowd. You could never go wrong with the simple jeans and a t-shirt combo.

Looking in the mirror, the thought of Not Going popped up in your mind again. There was nothing really obliging you to go. And the idea of standing there listening to the loud music, whether it was good or not, sounded slightly exhausting.

No, you reminded yourself, it would do you good to leave the house once in a while. Have “fun”. You checked the time once more, 8:14. You had done everything a bit quicker than you expected. The Uber you had arranged for yourself would be there in a few minutes. So, you were stuck in that kind of waiting limbo, sitting on your couch, not sure what to do. Eventually, you put on your shoes and got your keys and were ready to head out.

The drive was quick and thankfully, mostly quiet. It was only a minute or two before you reached your destination that the driver decided to ask you where you were headed.

“Concert,” you said hesitantly. Why did these people always want to know your business? Thankfully, the man didn’t ask much more. And then it was time for you to get out of the car. The drive actually took much less time than you had expected and there was still some time left before the band would start to perform.

Suki’s was a bar downtown, in the basement of some kind of law firm. Their whole thing was that they let new bands and artists play each week so they could get some of the public’s interest going. Make themselves known to the world. It was literally and figuratively, an underground following that it had. Many, but at the same time, nobody knew about it. It was a secret amongst music lovers. Considering the bar wanted to stay its own secret, you never understood the bright neon lights above the entrance, going down the staircase all the way to the actual hall.

The bar itself wasn’t too big. Enough space for a small stage along one wall, a bar on the opposite side, and the rest was space for the crowd to either enjoy or hate the music being played. When you walked in the room was still relatively empty. You saw two guys setting up equipment on stage, you assumed it was the band. Behind them was a black banner with “Winter Solstice” written in scratchy white letters. Between the words, a star that was drawn on in precisely the same rough manner. You had to admit, it was a cool name.

Considering there weren’t many people there yet, you headed for the bar to get yourself a drink before it would be too crowded to even reach the counter. And there stood your friend, behind the bar talking to some guy. They were both laughing at something as you walked up.

“y/n! You came!” you squealed out, “what can I get ya?”

“A beer?” you said it more like a question.

“Coming right up.” And with that, your friend walked off to the tap to pour you your drink. It was more out of reflex when you sat down on the stool, you leaned your head on your hand, but you understood the question from the stranger when he spoke up.

“Not looking forward to it?”

Still with your chin on your knuckles, you turned to face him.

“Huh? Oh no, I mean… she kind of made me come here, but-” you tried not to sound too pessimistic, but the guy saw right through you.

“So, I guess the answer is yes.” He chuckled. Right then, your friend came holding your drink and put it in front of you.

“I’ll put it on your tap.” She was going to join the conversation but right then a group of tonight’s spectators walked up in need of drinks, so she was soon off again.

“I’m not not looking forward to it?” nothing in your voice made it sound like you were sure of yourself, but it was enough for him. You took a sip of your beer, which you could feel helping the situation. While doing that you looked over the brim of the tall glass to look at your conversation partner. Like you, he was drinking a beer himself and considering it was almost empty, he had done that either very fast, or he had been there for a while already.

Next, you took a look at him. From the profile, he looked pretty good. He was wearing a loose tank, showing off his arms. His dark curly hair was held back with a black cap that he wore backwards. What definitely stood out to you was his jawline. It looked like you could cut yourself on it just with the slightest of touches. For everyone’s sake, you quickly turned your gaze over to the extensive liquor collection in front of you. But you could see in the reflection behind the bottles how he was smiling to himself. He definitely saw you stare. This was awkward, and you only got here two minutes ago.

“So, do you know the band?” you asked in the hopes to weed out this weird situation you had created. For some reason, your question made him smile. In that type of way as if you had just mentioned an inside joke. Except you weren’t in on it, so you couldn’t laugh along.

“Yeah, they’re alright.” He shrugged. Then, as if he suddenly remembered something, he shot up straight in his seat. “I’m Tom, by the way.”

“y/n.” Then you remembered how your friend practically screamed out your name when you walked in, “but you already knew that.” Your phone vibrated with a text, so you took it out and immediately saw the time, it was already past nine. You looked over at the stage where the two guys were trying to untangle some chords. Clearly, it wasn’t starting anytime soon.

“What kind of music do they play?” You asked Tom while still looking at the band trying to get ready.

“A bit of everything, I suppose.”

You bit your cheek not to say anything that might come off rude, but he could still read you.

“I guess that wasn’t the right answer?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I just hoped to get something more specific, but as long as they’re good, I’ll enjoy it.” You took another sip of your beer as an excuse to shut up. He must think you’re such a bitch at this point. You saw him glance over your shoulder at the stage and then smile at you.

“I like you.” there was that chuckle of his again, “I’ll see you later, then.” And he got up. You were gonna ask why later? Why couldn’t you hang out now? You didn’t like to admit it, but you enjoyed his company, even though it was only brief and most of the time you spent it making yourself look like a moron. As superficial it made you sound, you simply enjoyed the presents of a good looking guy like him.

You were going to ask him, but he quickly disappeared into the crowd that started to form along the foot of the stage. More and more people were coming and joining in. The two guys from the band had finally untangled their chords and were placing their guitars over their shoulders, and plugged them into the amplifiers. That’s when you noticed that a spot was empty on the stage. The big drum set had no occupant yet.

So, while everyone waited for the drummer to show up, you took this time to look at the other two band members, trying to decide which one was the cuter one.

That turned out to be slightly more difficult of a task, you quickly realised. Though they were both very different, they were both also extremely good looking. There was the blonde, strumming a few simple chords on his guitar to warm up. Even in the dim light, you could see how perfectly chiselled his face was. He was wearing a slightly oversized button-up shirt with about half of the buttons open. The skinny jeans didn’t seem comfortable to you, but he made them work. The rings on his fingers reflected in the lights as he kept on strumming.

The other had a bit more of a playful vibe around him. His curly mop of hair bounced with every move he made. You could hear his loud and contagious laugh all the way from the other side of the room without the need for a microphone. His outfit was something completely different compared to the blonde. It consisted of a baggy t-shirt (that you could read the band logo on), with ripped dungarees that were only attached on one side. He had rolled them up, showing off his bright converse. His bass guitar was currently hanging behind his back as he adjusted the mic stand one last time. There was something familiar about him, though you were sure had never seen him before.

Then finally, a third person joined them. People cheered since it meant that they could finally start playing. You tried to get a good look at him before he hid behind the drum set. Hair was hiding beneath a cap, tank top… wait… was it-

You got up and walked through the audience. There weren’t that many people, so it was reasonably easy to get to the front. Or, almost at the front row, standing right in front of them felt a bit intimidating. Now you could see all three of them much better, and there was no denying it. Your new acquaintance Tom was the drummer. And when you looked over at the curly bassist again, you realised why he looked so familiar. It was not an identical resemblance, but there was enough that made you think they were related somehow.

You watched Tom spin one of his drumsticks in his hand. He had the biggest smile on his face, then he caught your eye and winked. The cheeky bastard knew exactly what he was doing, you were sure of it. He was waiting for your surprised reaction, and you fell for it completely—hook, line and sinker.

The curly one got up to his microphone. “Hey everybody, we’re Winter Solstice,” his voice was much deeper than you had expected. Especially, considering that he actually looked younger than the other two, you noticed. “We thought you’d appreciate some more known songs tonight, so join in whenever.”

Alright, they were gonna do covers. That was not a wrong move at all. A lot of bands want to show off their own music, but most of the time that leaves the audience just swaying awkwardly because they don’t know the lyrics or what to expect.

“Here’s one you all should know.”

The blonde started playing his guitar, and it only took a second or two before everyone realised what song it was. Mr Brightside. It sounded a bit different, as their attempt to make the song their own, but the riff was unmistakably Mr Brightside. Everyone around you immediately cheered and started to dance along, waiting to sing the lyrics. You were too, of course, but all you could think about was Tom playing in the back. He looked so focused, but still didn’t let it sit in the way of enjoying the song.

In the song, the drums probably only started a beat before the lyrics, so you missed out on the first few words, but quickly you were singing too.

“But she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now. Let me gooo,” the blonde guitarist sang. His voice wasn’t perfect, it was rough, some might have called it cursive, but in that right sort of way. It fit well with the rest of the band and how they played. In just a minute, they had gotten the entire room hyped up. Everyone was into it. Maybe it was because of the song choice, but you doubted it. A song like that can be tricky to sing to a new crowd. If you screwed it up, they’d hate you forever.

That was definitely not the case here, they had the crowd in the palms of their hands. With each beat, you were pulled in…or, was that just you?

The second verse started, and it was the bassist that began to sing: “I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine-” There was no clear description of his voice. At least you couldn’t really pinpoint it. There was definitely that playfulness in it that he had been showing through everything he did. He couldn’t stay still, jumping in place, making his curls bump up and down as he went.

“It was only a kiss”

It was Tom that said the little interjection in the song. You had only looked his way at the end, while the other was already singing, but you felt as if he had been looking at you directly. No, he wasn’t. Why would he? You shook the thought off and continued enjoying the performance of the three men. You sang along just like everyone else.

And then the song ended. It was almost unbelievable that it had only been one song that they played, but they moved on to the next quickly.

The guitar faded out but came straight back, accompanied by a heavy bass line. Some people around you recognised the melody, but it took you a moment or two. Then it went quiet. The blonde leaned into his microphone, whispering the words.

“I’m the invisible man,” guitar riff “I’m the invisible man,” guitar, “Incredible how you can- see right through me!” His voice got louder as Tom joined in with the drums. Then those few seconds of bass followed which actually sent shivers up your spine. To put it simply, you were a sucker for good bass and beat. But what was it about them that sounded so good? You couldn’t think of anything particular that would have set them apart from all the other artists you had seen perform in the club through the years…

Still, seeing them have so much fun on stage, it was truly intoxicating, you wanted to join them. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen someone jump around on that little stage while playing bass. You couldn’t wait to find out what their names were, but for now, “the curly bassist” didn’t take a second to stand still. The only time he stood in one spot was when he had to sing, and even then he moved around a lot.

The others didn’t have that same luxury. Of course, Tom did not have a lot of options, sitting behind his drum set. Yet still, he managed to light up the stage with his bright smile and the passion he put into his drumming. Any time you looked at him, you didn’t want to look away- which was hard, considering that the other two were also a great joy to watch.

The blonde, in his turn, stayed on his side of the stage, being somewhat stuck with his microphone since he had the most vocals. But he still had a great connection with the audience, you felt like.

Before you knew it, the second song had also come to an end. Cheers and applause erupted in front of the band, with you contributing to it as well, of course.

“Thank you, thank you,” the bassist took a little bow. Even though they weren’t playing any song, he still slapped one of the strings mindlessly. “Like I said, we’re Winter Solstice. My name’s Harry.” He introduced himself. Finally, you could call him something else than the curly bassist. Even though it was a very catchy nickname, you thought yourself.

“Here on the guitar,” Harry pointed out, “Is my good friend Harrison.” Harrison waved to the crowd, receiving screams from the audience as if it was filled with banshees.

“In the back,” Tom immediately started a soft drum roll, but Harry didn’t wait that long, “that’s Tom.” Tom reacted with a face that could only be described as “bruh”, making several people around you laugh. You wondered if it was rehearsed or if this was just how they were. Either way, it was cute.

Harry talked some more about how they were excited to play tonight, but you were looking at Tom. You watched him grab a water bottle and drink half of it in almost one chug. When he pulled it away from his mouth, you saw that he caught you staring. Even though you were between dozens of people, even though the light that was shining in his face- he saw you. And he winked again. In the next moment, you had to think if the heat burning through your body was an effect of that little gesture or because of how warm it was in the room. For your own sake, you went with the second option.

“Alright, here’s another song for you all,” it was a voice you hadn’t heard speak before. Harrison. “Here’s: You Oughta Know.” There was a mixed reaction from the audience, including you. Of course, you knew the Alanis Morisette song, but you had never heard it be played by men. It was definitely an interesting choice for them to play, especially after the Killers and Queen.

“I want you to know that I am happy for you,” it was Tom that started singing, as he drummed softly. You tried to control your thoughts as he kept on singing. Then the pre-chorus began, and you were shocked at how well they harmonised.

“Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide.” It actually gave you chills. How were you so excited about listening to three strangers sing?

At the chorus itself, everyone in the room went wild, singing along loudly. It was clear that the people were sold on this new version of the song. It was all fine. You were enjoying the show. It was actually fun. And then, Tom sang the next line-

“It was a slap in the face. How quickly I was replaced. And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” It sure was a slap in the face. You had to remind yourself that it was just the lyrics of the song. And he was just a guy on stage that you had only exchanged a few words with prior. Yet, you couldn’t focus on anything from that moment on. You could barely comprehend their version of “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”, not even really understanding that they were playing a different song. It was just a big blur. But maybe it was for the better, because could you really cope with Tom singing the titular phrase of the song in that husky way that he did... debatable.

When you woke up from your daze, Tom had stood up to show the crowd the beat to clap to. You joined in before anyone noticed how far out of it you indeed were. Harrison finished the song off with a falsetto and then it was already time for the next song.

This time you knew what to do. You wanted to record at least some part of the show. And when harry started a bass solo, you made sure to get at least a bit of it and continued filming from there, ready to post it on your Instagram later on. Harrison joined in with the guitar, and you actually had no idea what song they were playing. More people didn’t seem to recognise the song immediately, which visibly amused the musicians. They couldn’t hide their grins even behind the microphones. Once again, the harmonies… how did they sound so good?

As the song continued, the more sure you were that you had heard it before, but it must have been very different from the original. No, actually… How did you not recognise Dua Lipa? It was not hard to forget about the original when you got to listen to this version. How had each song so far been this good, you still didn’t understand. You didn’t want it to end.

But unfortunately, right after that, they took another break from singing.

“Alright!” Harrison cheered (more squeals from his side of the audience followed. Apparently he had started to gain quite the following). “The next song is another classic, I like to think.” People whooed. “So we’d like some help from you guys if that’s okay.” The crowd seemed to be into it, so Tom followed with the instructions.

“Okay, so we’re gonna start playing in a sec, and Harry will sing a little melody. Just copy that, and we’ll be on our way.” In the meantime, Harry had gone off stage to grab a bottle of water, so everyone had to wait for a second. This gave Tom the opportunity to freestyle on his drum set. It was a simple beat, but it progressed into a more complex set. He, however, did it effortlessly.

Finally, Harry came back running, he threw bottles to the other two, which they both caught without a problem. Tom started to press the bass drum steadily, layering more on top of it. Then Harry joined with the bass, and ultimately, Harrison’s guitar finished it off. Harry leaned into the microphone.

“Ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, ooooo-ooo-oo-oo, oooo-oo-oo,” he almost whistled, but not quite. He continued a few times, together with Tom and Harrison until everyone in the room was singing along. Then made that kind of gesture to show you had to stop. Harrison sang the verse. Anytime it was your turn, you’d just follow Harry.

You had been to many concerts, but not many new bands had much luck in getting a full crowd to participate in the song. But by the way they played, everyone just wished they could be in the band, playing along with them. Even if it was just dangling the triangle. You, however, didn’t want that, necessarily. You assumed that it was the fact that you hadn’t been out of the house in so long, that now that you had the chance, everything felt hundred times more great. So a concert that was already amazing, suddenly felt like a euphoric, once in a lifetime, experience… though that might go a bit too far. And it for sure helped that all three band members were hot. Like, really really hot.

Literally, too, the room was getting really warm at this point, and the guys were visibly hot also. It didn’t stop them from performing at 110% though. A few songs more passed by and Harry was still jumping around the stage. Harrison sang every note perfectly as he slew that guitar of his and Tom…

You could barely look at Tom. Playing the drums as hectically (in the good sense) as he did, you thought he would be exhausted by now. But he still had that big perfect smile on his face. The sweat was dripping down his arms, but it just highlighted his biceps, making it very hard for you to concentrate on the music. And then, no matter what he was doing, he would find you in the crowd and smirk or wink, making you even more flustered than you were before. The first time, you thought he was doing it to someone else. But then it happened again, and again. And the beat of drums led your heart. You could feel it in your throat as it kept pumping with the loud music.

It was during their little break which they used to goof around and play the intro of “Chelsea Dagger”, that you decided to go back to the bar. Your friend had said she wouldn’t leave you alone for the entirety of the concert, but you were already quite some songs in and there was still no sign of her. And you quickly realised why that was. Since the show had started, the entire room had filled up with people. You had never seen it be so crowded, in fact. And then the bar was packed with people asking for their drinks.

Your friend was indeed there, with another bartender, doing her best to pour the drinks quickly. But more and more people got thirsty, so it was easy to assume you would have to spend the rest of the night alone as well.

By that time, the band started on the next song of their setlist, and you really thought they were playing one big joke on you. Or at least this Tom guy was. As he loudly sang Sex on Fire, by Kings of Leon, you decided to sit this one song out from the front row and stay back, near the bar. It actually did you well, because it was much less hot than upfront. You could just stay there for the rest of the show. They had been through around ten songs already, so they must be done soon, either way, you thought.

And you were right. Ending with Come Together, the applause was bigger than through the entire night. The boys finished with extended solo’s of their respective instruments and a bow, and it was really over. Harry came up to the microphone one last time as the other two were already getting off stage.

“Thank you! We are Winter Solstice! Buy our merch at the door! GOODNIGHT!”

The idea of buying a t-shirt was pretty fun. And apparently, you weren’t the only one who thought that. Far from it, actually, The line at the little merch booth quickly exceeded the length of the small concert hall. You wondered if they even had enough things to sell. Would it even be worth it to stand in line? You just waited for the stream of new fans to cool down.

Eventually, it did. Slowly, but surely, the line got shorter. You also noticed that there were a few people that had the exact same idea as you had, so you joined the queue before the rest could. You didn’t even have to wait that long. Before you knew it, you were standing at the little table. There were piles of t-shirts and cd’s, and there were more boxes behind the table too. They really came prepared. Harrison had just been folding up an empty box when you walked up.

“Hi. Can I get a (your size)” you asked, already pulling out your card to pay, “and a CD?”

“Yeah, of course,” Harry grabbed a shirt for you with a smile. Tom had been talking to the girl that had been in line in front of you, but he quickly turned to look at you when he heard your voice.

“y/n!” He finished the conversation with the other girl before moving over to join his bandmate.

“Hey,” you wish it hadn’t been so, but a lot changed since the first time you spoke to him, let it only have been about an hour. There was something about him being in the band you just watched perform and buying his merch, that made you feel like a little school girl standing next to him.

“I thought you had left.” He noticed you leave? Not the point.

“No, I just went to the back. It was getting a bit hot for me upfront.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Did you enjoy the show then?”

“Yes!” you said, a bit too loud, “You guys were great.” You looked at the CD that Harry had just handed you and smiled. “And I was wondering if you could maybe sign this for me?” Out of nowhere, Harrison appeared behind Tom, grabbing the CD from your hands and putting his signature right at the centre of the packaging. Just as quickly as he appeared, he went back to whatever he was doing before. But not without sending you a wink first. What was it with these guys and winking? Not that you really minded it.

Harry took the slightly more polite approach, waiting for you to hand him the CD and he signed it above Harrison’s signature. Then he handed it over, together with the marker, to Tom.

“So, we got ourselves a number one fan, huh?”

“No, I’ll just wait ‘til you guys get famous so I can sell it on the internet and get rich.” That was probably not the response Tom had expected, which you immensely enjoyed. Next to him, Harry erupted in a fit of laughter.

“Haz, did you hear that? She thinks we’ll be famous.” His laugh was even better close up. While Harry and Harrison kept on laughing, you used the moment to speak to Tom, one on one.

“So why didn’t you tell me you were in the band?” you asked.

“What does it matter,” he chuckled.

“You let me ask all those questions about the band, it’s fucking embarrassing, man.” you couldn’t help but laugh yourself.

“Heh, sorry.” he took off his cap to rearrange his hair since some of it had fallen in his eyes through the night. You didn’t know what else to say, so the conversation died down. Then you remembered that there was still a bit of a line behind you of people that wanted to buy the merch as well.

“Let me just pay for these, and I’ll be off.”

“No, it’s fine, on the house,” Tom said. You looked at him with wide eyes.

“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”

“Yeah, just promise me one thing.”

“What?” You raised an eyebrow, not sure what to expect. You didn’t want to jump onto that wagon too quickly.

“Will you stay? I’d really like to hang out.”

You weren’t sure what to answer at first. You did want to stay and talk to him, but it was getting late, and you had been standing for a long time, and you were kinda gross from how warm it was during the concert… but Tom was really hot. And he asked so nicely.

“Sure.” you gave in. “I’ll hang out with my friend at the bar and let ya get back to-” you pointed around the table to make your point across. He nodded and waved you goodbye as you walked away, clutching on to your newly bought merchandise.

Just like you thought, your friend was indeed still at the bar, cleaning up leftover glasses from the counter. She saw you walk over and you could tell she saw something different in you.

“Look at you beaming, girl! What happened?” she put away the half-dried glass to listen to you.

“Nothing?” you said casually. She saw right through you though, so you just decided to give up the little act. “Tom asked me to wait behind for him.” You bit your lip, expecting to get a lecture from her. But none of that happened. Instead, she squealed out in, what seemed like, excitement.

“Ooh, Tom is such a great guy!”

“You know him?” you asked, surprised.

“Well, he was the one that got their band the gig here, so we talked here and there, mostly planning,” she explained. “And I mean, look at him.” she sighed and her eyes glazed over a bit when she looked in the direction of the merch table. Not sure what else to do, you followed her action and glanced over. Of course, right at that time, Tom decided to look in your direction as well. He smiled and waved lightly, making your cheeks heat up and quickly look away. Your friend, however, waved back enthusiastically.

“So you think it’s safe for me-” what were you even gonna ask her?

“Go have fun, I say. But if anything does happen, remember the codeword?” Her tone changed to a more serious one, which you appreciated. You had agreed ages ago on a codeword to use. In case a date turned for the worst, or generally if something felt off.

“Broccoli, baby. I know.”

“Broccoli.” She held up her hand for a high five, which you gladly accepted.

You chatted for a little bit longer. Every few minutes tho, you’d be sure to glance over your shoulder to see if the merch line was getting any shorter. It didn’t seem like it. There was simply no end to it. You felt yourself getting frustrated. To the point that your friend actually pointed it out, snorting from holding in her laughter.

“He has got you whipped, hasn’t he?” she bumped your shoulder playfully. All you did was roll your eyes. Which, actually, said everything she needed to know. He did, didn’t he? You always had a soft spot for musicians, dated a few. But comparing them to Tom now… it felt like a joke. There was something about this guy that made you want to know more about him. You wanted to see him play and sing again. You wanted- do a lot of things. But you had to get that out of your head. Let the night speak for itself, see where it leads you. If it would be his bedroom… that would be fine. Just fine.

You knew you were crazy for thinking all of this, but a girl can dream, right?

You looked across the room and were glad to see that there were only a few people left. Harry had already started packing everything up that would most likely not be sold that night. You watched the three of them make some small chat with the people walking by, but all your real focus was on Tom and his deep stare right at you. It made your heart beat faster. With his arms across his chest, the muscles seemed even more prominent.

He was suddenly pulled back into the conversation, and it was as if he changed into a different person. All bubbly, none of that- what even was it that he looked at you? You decided to not think about it too much. One does not do well when dwelling about anything.

Finally, the last person bought their shirt, and they were done. Hoping it didn’t make you look too desperate, you didn’t waste a second to walk over to them. Harrison and Tom were helping Harry pack up the rest of the things that were left on the table.

“Hey,” you said awkwardly. Tom almost dropped the stack of shirts he was holding. Again, the attention fell to his arms. You had to force yourself to look up at his face, which didn’t help much either, but it made it easier to think thoughts that would not mean a one-way ticket to Hell.

“Hi! I’m so glad you stayed,” he said after putting those shirts in the box. “I thought we could go grab something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” He spoke really fast, just showing how excited he was to talk to you again. To be honest, you weren’t necessarily hungry, but going out to eat with Tom didn’t sound too bad.

“Don’t you have to pack up?” You pointed back to the stage that still counted all of their equipment.

“No, we’re playing here tomorrow, again,” Harrison explained.

“Oh, cool.” Was all you said. It was cool, you just didn’t know how to say anything without sounding dumb.

“Well, shall we? There’s a diner on the way to my flat. It has the best burgers.” Tom exclaimed. You ignored the little mention of his apartment and focused on the burgers. He wasn’t suggesting for you to come over to his place. It was just a fact… right?

“Lead the way,” you told him, but before you left, you turned to the other two members of Winter Solstice. “It was nice meeting you guys.” Everyone waved, and so on, and you were off to eat.

It was almost midnight by the time you got there, but the diner Tom had mentioned did advertise as a 24/7. And it held up. When you walked in, you were practically hit in the face with the delicious smell of pie. You sat down in a booth next to the large window and very soon after a waitress walked up.

“What can I get ya?” she asked, flipping her little notebook open.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, thanks,” Tom asked. Then it was your turn.

“Just large fries for me, thank you.” The waitress wrote it all down, then continued to ask if you wanted anything to drink.

“Ooh, do you have milkshakes?” The woman smiled and nodded. “So a chocolate milkshake then.” You ordered.

“Make it two,” Tom added. Then the waitress went off, Tom leaned on the table toward you, with his hands in front of him. “So, just fries, huh?”

“I’m not super hungry, and I wasn’t going to steal your fries,” you explained, making Tom laugh and shake his head.

“You’re interesting, you know that?”

“I like to think so, yeah,” you answered straightforwardly. It was a pity you had not gotten your drinks yet, or you would have taken a very nonchalant sip. You leaned your chin on your hand, just like you did at the bar before the show. Except for this time, there was a smile hiking up the corners of your mouth. Tom mirrored your position.

“So how did you guys come up with the name?” you had been wondering that ever since you saw that banner hanging on the stage. It was always interesting to find out the thinking process like.

“You gotta ask Harry, he came up with it one day, and we just went along. He’s the more artistic one of the bunch.” Of course he is. Well, that didn’t answer anything then. But another question popped up in your mind.

“Are you guys related?”

Tom smiled at that question. “Yeah, Harry is my younger brother. Harrison has been my best mate ever since I can remember. We’ve always been close and messing around. Then one day we decided to grab some old instruments from the attic and- sorry, I’m probably boring you, aren’t I?” He took off his cap again and ruffled his hair. You thought he would put it back on, but he left it on the table. There was pretty good lighting at Suki’s, but the colourful spotlights were no match to the bright LEDs of the diner.

“I don’t see how you thought that was boring,” you assured him. You truly enjoyed his little story, talking about his friend and brother. You had doubted the choice of going out to eat so late at night with a stranger, but now the reason was apparent. He didn’t want to be strangers-he wanted to get to know you. And you wanted to get to know him.

The waitress came back with two large milkshakes, topped with whipped cream and syrup. She said that the food would be ready in a few more minutes and left you to continue your conversation. You nudged Tom on to go on where he stopped previously.

“So yeah,” he cleared his throat, “we played and thought, hey that doesn’t sound shit, and we practised for a few months and decided some time ago, why not try and play.”

“Was this your first gig?” you asked in disbelief. He shook his head, though.

“We’ve performed a few times, but this was the first one that felt… real, you know. Maybe it was just me, but I felt this great connection with the crowd, and it felt great.” You nodded along with every word, without realising that you had been getting lost in his eyes. He had been looking into yours as he spoke about that connection, and it made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he meant you specifically.

“y/n?” He eventually asked, waking you up. You almost spilt your milkshake from the abrupt movement you made as you tried to sit up.

“What? Sorry.” You held the glass until it didn’t shake.

“I asked if you enjoyed it? The show?”

“Didn’t you ask that already?” Stupid way to answer! “But yeah, I loved it. You were really great- I mean, all of you.” but especially you, you wanted to add on, but that felt like going too far. As you were trying to come up with a normal-sounding answer there, Tom sipped from his milkshake. Something in his eyes told you that he could tell what you wanted to say, and that thought scared you a little bit. All you wanted to do was to give this hot guy a good impression of yourself, was that really that hard?

But he didn’t say anything about it. Just continued the conversation as you hoped he would.

“Well, I’m glad. Honestly, you had scared me a bit back then, when you left,” he admitted. And there were the heart palpitations again, beating faster and faster. You grabbed the cold milkshake because you could feel yourself getting hotter.

“How so?” you choked out.

“Just because I could tell you weren’t exactly looking forward to the show, and then I saw you leave and didn’t come back. I thought you didn’t like us.” Us. He said “us”. Then we did it feel like he just wanted to say “me”?

“I wanted to check up on my friend, and then I realised that it was much colder in the back, so I stayed there.” you explained again, “But why be worried about me, there were plenty of other people enjoying themselves.”

He was about to answer when the waitress walked up with two large plates. She put them on the table with a smile, which you noticed was more directed towards Tom than you. He responded with a tight smile himself, but only shortly, turning back to you quickly to respond to your question.

“No one there was as cute as you.”

“What?” This time you made sure not to make any sudden movements to save your food and drink on the table. Did he really say that? But he didn’t clarify himself, he just smirked, enjoying your flushed expression a little too much. He put a fry in his mouth and still ate it with that smug smirk. You just went and ate some of your own fries, avoiding eye contact with him. You just needed a second to sort your thoughts.

That second lasted a little longer, but at least you had the food to use as an excuse to avoid “awkward silence”.

“So do you play any instruments?” he asked. You looked up to see that he had almost finished his burger. When you saw the dish being brought up, you thanked yourself and any god watching out there that you didn’t choose to order one. It was absolutely massive, meaning you would make a complete mess out of yourself—a sight for no one to see but your tv screen on a lonely night.

“Uh, I can play a few notes on the piano but all very beginner's level.” You dipped a fry in your milkshake.

“Like what?” He seemed genuinely interested.

“Uhm.. the Flintstones theme song, for one. There was more, but I haven’t played in ages, so I doubt I remember anything.”

“Flintstones, huh, nice.” He took the last bite of his burger. Knowing how weird it is to look at someone when they’re eating, you looked out the window for a second. It was dark outside, and the rain had come back, letting all the street lights reflect in the asphalt.

You both finished the remains of your fries and milkshakes while making some more small talk. You got up simultaneously from the booth. Was it over now? You hoped not. You didn’t want to say goodbye.

You grabbed your things while Tom paid for the food. Then you realised he had left his cap on the table so grabbed it too. But your hands were already full, so you decided to just put it on. Backwards, just like he had been wearing it through the evening.

“It looks good on you,” he commented when you met at the door.

“Thanks,” there was the heat up your cheeks again. “And thank you for everything else, I had a really great night.” you were about to take the hat off to give it back, but he stopped you.

“It doesn’t have to end here, darling.”

To be continued...

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to be tagged in part 2!

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aangs-surrounding-love · 3 years

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My take on Aang’s trauma:

Alrighty everyone this is going to be a long one. I’ll do my best to only include the more important parts of Aang’s actions that I think reflect his trauma. Also, moments that I think reflect his trauma. Actually, I don’t really know if I can directly categorize this post but let’s just say this is very Aang-centric and somewhat of Aang-defense. Aang-protection? Feh-I’ll start.

In season 1 episode 1: The Boy In The Iceberg we see that Aang is briefly told that no one has seen an airbender in 100 years. We can see a tiny bit of shock but what happens next is that the topic is dissed and they move on. Aang doesn’t yet know what happened. But that small little face of shock and confusion always gets me.

Season 1 Episode 2: When Aang finds out he was stuck for 100 years, a war broke out, and his people were very likely killed, he looks on the bright side and looks to Katara saying, “I did get to meet you.”

When they find out he’s the avatar everyone is like, no wayyyy. He still offers himself up to protect the tribe.

Why didn’t he tell them? “Because I never wanted to be” is 100% a valid answer. He was scared. He thought that they’d push him away as his friends did at the temple. Or maybe send him away like the leaders wanted to do to him. (Although Sokka did banish Aang, it wasn’t because of his title and because he put the tribe at risk so it doesn’t exactly count)

Season 1 episode 3: The Southern Airtemple. “We’re home, buddy. We’re home.” Aang says to Appa. Something about this seems like a nostalgic moment. He left on bad terms and now he’s back seeing it 100 years later, hopeful.

He looks for all the old things that made him happy. Air ball, Gyatso’s statue, searching for people. (The little fruit pie flash-back)

He goes to the statue room and looks for answers. He meets Momo. However, when Aang and Sokka start chasing Momo I see Aang tearing up when he’s jumping down the cliffside. My take on this isn’t because he’s falling down at such a velocity that he starts crying, my take is that it’s because it’s his first chance to reveal that there’s hope that some of the Air Nation survived and that Aang isn’t alone.

Aang discovers Gyatso’s skeleton and goes into the Avatar State. His major hopes have been diminished.

He says to Momo, “You, me, and Appa, we’re that’s left of this place now. We have to stick together.” It’s so sad. They’re the only parts of the Air Nation that are alive. They don’t have anything left of the air nation and that’s why they need each other; they need to stay together.

At the closing of the episode, we see Aang and Momo flying away from the temple on Appa. Aang's face is so somber like he’s watching his happy memories diminish. Like the nostalgia being wiped away directly in front of him.

Season 1 Episode 5: The King of Omashu. This one is more of fine detail, but to me, it’s still very important and needs to be mentioned more. At the end of the episode, when Aang figures out it was Bumi, his old friend, you can see little tears welling in his eyelids. My understanding makes me think that Aang was tearing up because he sees someone who isn’t dead. The tears are of relief because to Aang, maybe not everyone is gone. His childhood isn’t over, Aang can still be a kid. Because the reason Gyatso was protecting Aang was that he wanted Aang to have a childhood. Although it was stripped away, this gave Aang another chance to have fun intentionally. Another sign that his childhood isn’t completely over.

Season 1 episodes 7-8: Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World and Winter Solstice Part 2: Avatar Roku. In the first part, we meet a village. Aang tries to help them by saying, “I have to try” my legendary overthinking and analysis makes me believe that Aang truly wants to help these people already, but also that as the Avatar he wants to make up for the lost time he was stuck. He feels the burden he afflicted on the world.

His ability to relate to Hei Bai. Aang felt terrible about the woods and trees that were burnt down. It’s the empathy the made Hei Bai Aang’s friend. The compassion that Aang brings is truly amazing.

Part 2: Avatar Roku. Okay, so he wants to go alone because he doesn’t want Katara or Sokka to get hurt. My take on this is not only are they friends, but he also doesn’t want another one of his actions affecting the casualties of the war.

Season 1 Episode 12: The Storm. This episode is great. We get his backstory. We see why he ran away. We see what causes him to get stuck. And we get to see him upset. We see his guilt. “My people needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.” Followed by, “the WORLD needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.”

“How could they do that to me? They wanted to take away everything I knew and everyone I’ve ever loved!” This quote digs deep. Not only is Aang angry, but this takes a play on how he reacts to people and how he responds to people. He wanted to be a normal kid. (I’ll bring this back later)

Earlier in this episode, there’s this fisherman who was blaming him, so I’m in the cave Aang says, “the fisherman was right. I DID turn my back on the world.” He knows what he did was wrong and he saw the consequences. He ran away, and now that he faced the consequences, he actively wants to change and become better. He’s learning from his actions.

Season 1 episode 13: The Blue Spirt. Admiral Zhao says to Aang, “tell me, how does it feel to be the only airbender left? Do you miss your people?” Not only is this said in such a vile, evil way, we see Aang’s face which changes from being angry and upset with Adm. Zhao, we see that it changes to ashamed and guilt ridden. Actually, it kinda looks like Aang wanted to talk back to him, but he needed a moment. He needed that moment to take in what Zhao said.

Aang finds out that the Blue Spirit (the person wearing the mask) is Zuko. Aang was going to leave him there, to get caught by Admiral Zhao, but Aang instead takes him to safety. And may I mention that Aang made him a little leaf bed? Anyway, he stays with Zuko until he wakes up. Aang was talking about they could be friends and that one of his best friends was from the Fire Nation. I think not leaving Zuko behind shows both how Aang does his best to no longer leave people behind and to try to bring the best out of Zuko.

Season 1 episode 15: Bato of the Water Tribe. Aang takes the map to guide them to Hakoda for himself out of fear that Sokka and Katara would leave him. Though it was a bad decision, the thing is he didn’t think he could handle being alone. He was alone enough as it is. His people were gone and his friends (excluding Bumi) were gone or dead as well. So having to trek to the NWT alone would be a continuous reflection of his actions and would likely send him down on a more hateful path.

Season 1 Episode 16: The Deserter. Aang wants to learn the elements as fast as possible, even if it means doing it irregularly. He also is unsure whether he’ll ever get the chance to learn firebending again after he learns the other elements. So he starts to learn firebending from Jeong Jeong. He wants to make up for lost time which is another reason for this decision.

He hurts Katara and becomes afraid of handling fire and vows to be more careful with it in the future. (I will bring this up again later)

Season 1 Episode 17: The Northern Air temple. Aang sees that the northern Air temple became inhabited by people and they built pipes and other things that ruined the temple. They destroyed the temple and there wasn’t anything left that remained the same. When he saw the wrecking ball machine, he rightfully knocked it away for “destroying something sacred”. It was the last place that remained unaffected by modernization and industrialization then it was knocked over, right in front of him. So my take on this is a question within itself: if you loved something that was deeply close to you like a relic, something important, something that’s the only thing left of your family, got destroyed right in front of you, how would you feel? The answer would probably be pretty freaking upset.

Season 1 episode 19: The Siege of the North: part 1. Starting with part 1, the fire nation comes to the northern water tribe and the fight begins. Before the fight begins, Aang says, “I wasn’t there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I’m going to make a difference this time.” He wants what’s best for the world, he’s going to stay. He isn’t going to run this time, he’s going to fight of the sake for the world, for the sake of the future. Still, the look on his face when he says that, it’s guilt plastered all over. The guilt is also shown with a determination to make his difference.

Aang flies out on Appa to try to prevent further damage by taking out a few ships. He returns around sunset, exhausted and somewhat defeated. He says, “I’m just one kid” then buries his face in between his legs. He’s right, he is one kid. The avatar, yes, a kid, yes. I have a feeling he’d be thinking about how massively overwhelmed his people were when the Fire Nation attacked. With the power of 500 suns, it would be disastrous. And with this, there are hundreds of ships in that fleet with hundreds more men, ready to fight.

Season 1 episode 20: The Siege of the North: Part 2. Aang returns to the spirit oasis and enters the avatar state saying, “No... It’s not over” he won’t give up on the tribe. He won’t let the Fire Nation win. Still, he isn’t running away, he chose to return to the Spirit Oasis to try to save the spirits.

Season 2 episode 1: The Avatar State. Aang’s told by General Fung that he could defeat the Fire Nation using the Avatar State. Gen. Fung manipulates Aang using Aang’s own guilt and faults to get him to try to train to turn the Avatar State on. Gen. Fung shows Aang the wounded to get him to join.

Initially, Aang doesn’t join. But he changes his mind upon further debate. During the training (well after a day of training) Katara and Aang have a long conversation about it. First, Katara tries to convince him to stop training to turn the Avatar State on but Aang refuses. Katara says, “I don’t understand.” Aang replied, “No, you don’t. Every day, more and more people die. I’m already 100 years late.” Aang’s own guilt is driving him to pursue helping everyone. Even though it wasn’t the right decision, he realizes that he needs to try everything he can to save the world.

Season 2 Episode 3: Return to Omashu. I already did my take away on Aang’s trauma for “The King of Omashu” but this will make my point stronger. Anyway, to the point. Aang goes to Bumi to learn earthbending. His old friend, the mad genius. When he arrives at Omashu, Katara, Sokka, and Aang see that Omashu was conquered by the Fire Nation. Despite Sokka trying to convince Aang to turn around, saying that there are other teachers, Aang shuts both of them down. He wants to rescue Bumi. Not only because he’s his best friend, but I think it’s the added reasons of impending guilt that he receives from leaving the Air Nation to fight on their own, and always wanting to protect his friends.

Season 2 episode 10: The Library. By goodness. Beginning of the episode. Aang is “making an orchestra”. My little headcanon is that all airbenders play an instrument and Aang chose the flute. Anyway, in this headcanon, the air nomads had a band that Aang loved to participate in. Just a little reminder he can’t be in a band surrounded by his people and wanted to make an orchestra on his own to feel happy like he would if he was around the Air Nomads.

Professor Zei calling Aang a relic. Just... terrible. That’s what he, his people, his culture surmounted to. Only a relic. An episode in time.

“We had no choice. Please. We’re desperate to protect the people we love.” This is what Aang says to Wan Shi Tong after the spirit’s anger about using the library to win a war. Aang is trying to protect the world and whoever he has left in the world. His people died. His friends before the war excluding Bumi are dead. Now all he has are his current friends, Appa, and Momo. That’s all he has left and he’s going to do anything to protect them.

Appa gets taken away. That’s it. They exit the sinking library. “Where’s Appa?” Aang asks Toph in confusion. As Toph shakes her head, humming, “mmm-mmm” Aang’s face looks so scared, so hurt. This is his best friend, his life partner to the death. His closest friend, even before the war. They have an inseparable bond and then Appa’s taken away from Aang. Aang doesn’t know if he’s alright, one of the three surviving members of the Air Nomads.

Season 2 Episode 11: The Desert. Aang is so hurt that he lashes out at Toph. His best friend and life partner were stripped from him. I could feel the pain and anger in his voice.

“I’m going to find Appa.” Aang flies away to search on his glider. Again, one of the last surviving members of the Air Nomads is gone. I will elaborate in others.

“APPA!” He calls out. He begins to tear up but sucks it down. “No... No!!!” He creates the gush of air at the ground, making the sand rise up. The complete anger is apparent.

“I’m sorry, OK? it’s a desert cloud. I did all I could.” Aang is left angry and lashes out at everyone. Aang blames Toph at first but it goes deeper than that. If Aang hadn’t gone inside, Appa could’ve been with him. Everyone could’ve gotten out of the desert.

Momo gets carried by a Buzzard-wasp. “I’m not losing anyone else out here.” If Momo was taken away that makes Aang the only one left. He’d be completely alone. And he would only have himself to blame. If he hadn’t run away... if he hadn’t gone inside the library... if he hadn’t chased and knocked the buzzard wasp down. But luckily, Aang gets Momo back.

Aang finds out that the sand benders he encountered were the ones who stole Appa. He acts appropriately and questions them. He wrecks a sand sailer. He wants his bison back. He needs Appa back.

“You muzzled Appa?!” He enters the avatar state in rage. Appa was much more than a pet. Appa is Aang’s best friend. His life partner. His link to his people. Hearing that Appa was treated like an uncontrollable, rabid animal isn’t alright with him. His people were already killed. So hearing that Appa could be in the same situation or worse hurts.

“I traded him with some merchants.” Trading him. Like property. Appa is living, breathing, he isn’t property. Then Appa was set to be sold. Sold.

Season 2, Episode 12: The Serpents Pass. Aang is trying to remain emotionless after Appa was taken away. He doesn’t want to grieve. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants the war to end and be done. He wants Appa back of course, but I think Aang feels that his emotions are going to prevent progress. So when Suki mentions how Appa wasn’t there, Aang was the first to look away. It hurts him immensely.

“Are you doing okay?” Suki asks Aang. At first, Aang looks to Suki and then to Katara, Sokka, and Toph. The view switches back to Aang where he says harshly, “I’m doing fine. Would everybody stop worrying about me?” Aang doesn’t want to be reminded further that -in his mind- that he failed.

“And now it’s like you don’t care about him at all,” Katara states. Katara continues about how worried she is for Aang and offers him a hug. He steadily rejects, “thanks for your concern, Katara.” He walks away. He is so hurt that he doesn’t want to feel. He doesn’t want to be human.

“But you’ve made me feel hopeful again.” It doesn’t mean he’ll stop himself from blaming himself, but it means Aang will return to being hopeful and optimistic.

Season 2 episode 13: The Drill. It’s towards the end where Aang gives the final blow, it’s not really about the moment but the music. Aang is determined to save the world. Even though he’s going through in an incredibly tough time, he’s not going to give up and he’s going to save Ba Sing Se. The music displays this perfectly also while the French Horns add Aang’s musical theme in the background.

Season two, episode 15. The tales of Ba Sing Se. Aang creates a Zoo after seeing all the caged up animals. I think that Aang did this because it reminded Aang what predicament Appa could be in. All chained up. Of course, above anything else, Aang goes to the Zoo in the first place to look for Appa. But I think Aang wanted to release the animals into a better space because Aang wanted to help them, knowing at least Appa would want a sense of freedom. Also because Aang could see that the animals were unhappy.

Season 2 episode 16: Appa’s Lost Days. Sorry but Aang sleeps with the bison whistle right next to him. Meaning, the first thing he wakes up to is the whistle. So right away, Aang is reminded that he needs to get Appa back no matter what.

Season 2 Episode 17: Lake Logoai. Weakly, Jet says, “I’m sorry, Aang.” Aang replies, “Don’t be.” Aang is already worried. But after it's inferred that Aang was going to die by Toph’s, “He’s lying,” is another reminder to Aang that having relations to other people puts them in danger. And that Aang might think that he is another cause for Jet’s death. It’s a big rolel, accounting for every death and injury at Aang’s stake.

Reuniting was Appa, finally. The tears, the relief. Appa will forever be his best friend. To death. A weight was definitely released from his chest.

Season 2 episode 18: The Earth King. Aang wants to tell the Earth King the truth. With Appa back, it’s hoped that things could turn out well for Aang. And a chance the war could end sooner. For the fatalities to stop.

Season 2 episode 19: The guru. “What do you blame yourself for?” Aang responds, “I ran away. I hurt all those people.” He holds himself accountable that he wasn’t there. That he was the cause of injury. Even though he forgave himself doesn’t mean he thinks about it. That’s the thing about guilt. It reoccurs no matter if you try to bury it. Or even forgive yourself, it still shows up.

“Lay all your grief out in front of you.” Aang pictures the whole Air Nation with Gyatso in the front. He’s trying to save the word to not leave their names, their culture in vain. He lost everyone.

Season 2 episode 20: the Crossroads of Destiny. He had to let her go. There were too many people against him. He had no other choice than to let go and enter the avatar state. He had to give up another part of himself to be what the world needed. He needed to save Katara, not letting any others fall to his fault.

Season 3 Episode 1: The Awakening. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. Isn’t that great?!” To Aang, it isn’t. In fact, that’s probably the worst thing Sokka could’ve said. To Aang, the world thinks he failed... again. At first, he vanished for 100 years, thought dead. Then he returned to become dead again. Now, the Fire Nation has practically won because he wasn’t able to keep Ba Sing Se afloat.

Aang wants to intervene even though he’s barely able to walk. He wants to handle it himself. He’s holding himself accountable. Maybe even thinking, it’s the least I can do if I’ve already failed to the world twice. He keeps trying to help, having Sokka hold him back.

“I don’t want you or anyone else risking your lives for my mistakes.” This means Aang really blames himself for everyone. Holding everything on his shoulders. Thinking, “it’s all my fault.”

Aang does the thing he knows how to, he flies away on his glider. Hurt and bombarded with a storm. When he’s found by his friends, he finds his glider which we knew was very important to him. Air Nomads weren’t very material, but to a person with a smidge of their culture left, it would’ve meant much more. So, seeing it in shambles and them actively choosing to burn it is heartbreaking.

Season 3 episode 2: The Headband. The fact that the children of the Fire Nation and everyone who was taught after the war started thought the Air Nomads had a military, forcing the Fire Nation to attack them. It’s screwy. It was wrong, but knowing that his culture was thought of as evil and bloodthirsty had to have been off-putting. I mean, the Air Nomads were pacifist!

Aang was stripped of his childhood, so going to a school gave him a new chance without the burden of being the avatar. For example, earlier I mentioned Aang was excluded from playing with the air-scooter, but in the Fire Nation school, Aang as Kuzon was invited to play Hide and Explode. A chance to have fun without his responsibility to defeat the Fire Lord. A chance to be a normal kid.

“You taught them to be free” Aang did his best to help the kids. It wasn’t defeating the Fire Lord but it gave them control. A mind. They were brainwashed by the school and their country! So achieving a sense of freedom by self expression is something more than I can display in words.

Season 3 Episode 9: Nightmares and Daydreams. Although it’s a fun episode, Aang is in his last moments to train before the invasion. He has to be ready. He’s afraid that he’ll let the world down a third time. So, he creates false scenarios and plays them out to prepare. In this process, he gets really sleep deprived because of his stress. He’s rightfully worried. The state of the world continues to burden him.

Season 3 episode 10: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 1: The Invasion. Aang comes to Sokka’s side when Sokka begins to worry about his moment of truth. Aang says, “I already failed to world once at Ba Sing Se. I won’t let myself fail again.” Again, it’s all up to him. He needs to save the world, he needs to redeem himself.

Season 3 episode 11: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse. Aang finds that it was all a trap. He failed again. On Appa as the youngest of the group loads on Appa, Aang is crying. He told himself that he wouldn’t fail. That he needed to win. He needed this victory to find out that his plan was ruined.

Season 3 Episode 12: The Western Air Temple. Aang accepts Zuko into the group. He does this not only because he needs a teacher but realizes that in his past attempt to learn Firebending, he hurt Katara. And that Jeong Jeong wasn’t the right master, but knowing that Zuko changed made Aang accept Zuko into the group and teach him.

Season 3 Episode 13: The Firebending Masters. Earlier, I mentioned that Aang vowed to be more careful with Fire after burning Katara. Showing why his flame was timid and weak. He was afraid for it to become out of control and hurt someone.

Season 3, episode 16: The Southern Raiders. “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage.” He’s empathizing with Katara. We can’t forget that Aang is a survivor of genocide. He’s been through so much and wants to help Katara make the right decision. Not making it for her, but guiding her through the decision that would make her satisfied with herself and Yon Rha’s outcome. One she could live with. He’s using his own experience to help her.

Season 3, Episode 18, Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King. Aang wants to find an alternate solution rather than kill Firelord Ozai. He wants to stick to his principles. The ones that have been with him since forever. It’s not an easy decision. Maybe not only because of honoring the monks and their teaching but because the war had already created enough bloodshed.

Everyone is quick to assume Aang ran away. Although Aang is called to the Lion Turtles back. I think it was mostly unknowingly because he was like half asleep.

Season 3, Episode 19, Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: Old Masters. Aang looks to the past Avatars for their guidance. They’re the ones who might give him an alternate solution. In my opinion, they were all like, make whatever choice is right for you and the world. Don’t forget the world. Ultimately, to Aang, there were no other options, leaving him with the only option but to take Ozai’s life.

He meets the great look turtle. Aang respectfully asks him for an answer or an option. Once again, Aang was given the knowledge that he could take away whatever he received from the wisdom.

Season 3, Episode 20: Sozin’s Comet: Part 3: Into The Inferno. Ozai degrades Aang. Says, “you’re weak. Just like the rest of your people. They did not deserve to exist in this world, in my world! Prepare to join them.” So Aang has been told he’s weak and he is in no way weak. I will elaborate later.

Season 3, Episode 21: Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. Aang unblocks the avatar state and pins Ozai down. Just as Aang was going to kill him, he stops. He stops himself from going against his principles. Ozai continues to degrade him. “You are still weak.” Aang directs Ozai’s fire blast away using the Lion Turtle’s wisdom, Aang pins Ozai down and energy bends. With this, Aang discovers this non-fatal solution by giving Ozai justice and taking his bending away. Ozai can no longer intimidate and oppress anyone anymore.

“Please the real hero is the avatar.” That’s it. Aang is the hero. Of course, he had his friends to help him, but every single one of Aang’s mistakes and choices led to this. Led to the world being saved. So, for the first time in a while, Aang can come out of hiding, proud to be in this Air Nomad robes without concealing his identity.

I think I’m exaggerating about the tiniest details, but then again, I’m putting myself in Aang’s shoes, and that’s how I’d feel and how I interpret Aang’s actions/reactions. Also, I know I missed a few points, but I tried.

Big takeaways:

When Aang is told his people have been wiped out AND that he’s been gone for 100 years, for him, it has only been a few days for him. He left and a day later he wakes up and it’s been 100 years. That’s incredibly off-putting and scary. One day and his whole world shifted.

Aang was given very VERY little time to grieve as he had to save the world and learn the elements right away. When we do see it, his grief, he tries to let it all out at once rather than have it seep out little by little.

Aang is 12! He is a child and he saved the world. He has real emotions and was confused from time to time. He was a little immature at first but developed immensely.

Aang makes mistakes. But most importantly is that he learns from them and uses them to decide what's best for him and how to help others.

He looked for the light in dark situations.

Aang is the beacon of hope but even he was unhopeful and detached. He went to nightmares and back despite the worst.

Despite Ozai’s bashing and false claims, Aang is not weak and never has been. Aang went through the worst. He lost his family, his friends, and at one point, his best friend. He died. He was given an almost impossible task. Yet, he completed this task. He saved the world. Yes, he made mistakes but those mistakes shaped Aang into who he became. And how he was able to save the world. And Ozai was incredibly wrong. Aang defeated him and found his alternative. It wasn’t weak. It was strength. As Katara said in The Southern Raiders, “I don’t know if I was too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” In Aang’s case, he found his alternative that honored his teachings, his principles, his beliefs all while doing what was best for the world. That isn’t weak. It’s strong. Adding on, to come back from death isn’t weak. To return to action after running away isn’t weak. To face danger? To help others? To fight on the losing side for what is right? No, it’s not weak at all.

The music is fantastic and I think it reflects Aang amazingly. This doesn’t really fit into what I was talking about but the music fits the show.

Aang deserves so much love. I'll say it again, he's been through so much. Much more than what I could handle or almost anyone else. He is a traumatized child but even through the rough patches became an inspiration. To me, I think he’s sometimes overlooked and pushed aside so this is just some of my headcanons and takeaways.

Another thing, I’m not blaming Aang for anything. When I mention “it was his fault” I mean by he was blaming himself. The Air Nation’s genocide is not his fault. I mean that he blames himself for not helping or staying, for running away.

Lastly, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of their characters. They belong to their rightful creators and writers. Also, this is my analysis and a few of my takes on Aang’s trauma. I'm not trying to project my feelings on anyone. I'm just saying what I think.

If you made it this far thanks for reading my post!

#aang #aanglove #avatar aang #avatar verse #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar: tla #personal note that no one cares for but i’m saying it anyway #personal #my thoughts #aang is a sweetie and i will not stand for anything else #aang defense #aang defense squad #alta aang #aang is best boy #aang stan #aang protection #melon's analysis

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