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vaguely-concerned · 5 months

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I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj)

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed.

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.)

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane.

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably.

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in.

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say)

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style) but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line:

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)…

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts.

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it”

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

#star wars #dooku jedi lost #count dooku #sifo dyas #dooku x sifo dyas #disaster lineage #lene kostana #star wars meta #rael averross #qui gon jinn #I'm being peak on my bullshit in this one. you're welcome and/or I'm sorry as appropriate

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oneatlatime · 9 months

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The Northern Air Temple

Some thoughts before we get into the episode:

-I feel like Sokka got more lines in the first half of the season. Don't know if that's true, but that's what it feels like.

-I feel like Katara and Zuko have evened out a bit compared to the first half of the season. Certainly Katara hasn't done anything too annoying in a few episodes, and Zuko at least makes (a very small amount of) sense now, thanks to The Storm.

-I need more Appa.

Episode Time!

Wait

This episode apparently has the option of commentary. I'll save that for a rewatch.

Now it's episode time

A surprisingly ominous musical sting for the opening title card. Kind of reminiscent of Jet's musical sting.

We must be getting pretty close to the north pole because the parkas are back.

Oh my god actual airbenders? Is this show's title a lie? Avatar: Upon Further Investigation, One of Several Airbenders.

Also did that storytelling guy just charge his own great-grandfather for listening to his own story told back to him? Who's the real cheapskate?

Sokka whittles! That's a nice touch. Gotta have something to occupy your time on long polar nights. I think it's a beaver with a hat? How does Sokka know what a beaver is? There are no trees at the south pole. Unless it's a chipmunk. But those don't exist at the south pole either.

optimist = liar is an underrated take. And very Sokka.

The southern Air Temple was much more colourful than this. Maybe sunsets suck up north? Also those are live people. Living breathing non-corpses. Doing airbendy things. I am confused.

ok paragliders! Not airbenders. You know Aang must have been crushed by that bait and switch. He copes with it better than I would.

They may not be airbenders but this is still some pretty fancy flying. Obviously these glider people have been at this for a while. Do you think, in the absence of airbenders, non-benders were like "welp, somebody's gotta do it"?

Nailed it. Meng's right. He does have big ears.

My god I hope this kid does regular maintenance on his brakes. He came in hot.

This kid (Tayo?) is really sweet actually. He's got that same sort of sincere joy that Aang does when he's happy. Like when he was laughing at Pipsqueak's name. An ersatz airbender having an airbender's joy is cleverly done.

You couldn't have moved that pipe six inches up? Tayo may call his dad a mastermind, but this reeks of sloppy planning and building on the fly. This is the kind of plumbing dead end I'd plumb myself into, because I don't know how to plumb. What's the plumbing equivalent of cable management? Because these people need it.

I get it. This episode is going to be a commentary on the world moving on during the last century.

There was a deliberate conscious choice made here. You couldn't accidentally decapitate the monks every time you installed a pipe. Even if there wasn't a conscious choice to be destructive, there had to have been a conscious choice to be callous. Poor Aang's day is just getting worse and worse.

How does piping hot air everywhere result in goop?

Now moved on to literally decapitating monks. Come on guys, I was being facetious.

"This whole place stinks!" Buddy I could not agree more.

Then again: "Who said you could be here?" Can't agree with this one. How could they have asked for permission to move in? The only airbender around was frozen. This conflict is going to have to find a middle ground. Obviously these new guys are taking it way too far, but Aang has no right to expect the world to have been left unchanged for a century. Honestly I'm surprised that no one had moved in to the Southern Air Temple. It didn't occur to me when I watched that episode, but we've seen enough war-torn villages since that I'm surprised the air temples haven't been claimed by refugees.

"We're just in the process of improving upon what's already here" would be a much more convincing justification if it wasn't being spouted by someone standing in a giant hole created by a wrecking ball. Although kudos to this guy for seeing an opportunity to help his son and his people. Heart's in the right place, but I'm kind of questioning the execution.

"Progress has a way of getting away from us" another underrated take!

Tayo's dad's mannerisms are strange. He's giving me Willy Wonka vibes (Gene Wilder, not Johnny Depp).

Four o'Candle. I won't lie, that's funny. Gotta wonder how the rest of the world tells the time, if this guy invented timekeeping.

I regret taking this screenshot.

That's sweet, showing Aang the one untouched room. This Tayo is quite empathetic and perceptive, unlike his father. Also a good point about the animals. They never left.

I'm sorry, but the Southern Air Temple is just so much prettier.

Interesting storage choice. Do you think that was an airbender thing or a later addition?

Aren't fireflies a warm weather thing? Maybe someone at the temple has a pet firefly colony?

A natural gas PSA. Was not expecting that. Huh.

Pretty neat that Tayo has intuitively figured out what airbenders need to fly, even if he doesn't have the vocabulary to express it. Once again Aang recovering from disappointments way faster than I could. He said he wouldn't open the door maybe three minutes ago? And now he will. Truly too pure for this world.

This episode is going all over the place but the bug jokes are good.

What do you want to bet that the airbending door opening is footage reused from the Southern Air Temple?

I'm enjoying Sokka having someone to vibe with intellectually (who respects him as an equal - yay!) but I also feel like I'm seeing thirty years into Sokka's future if for some reason Katara stops with the occasional smacks upside the head.

Do you think Tayo's dad is so loopy because his head's in the clouds?

Did not see that coming. Also how many times is poor Aang going to get kicked around this episode? The airbenders that weren't, the temple that was modified to high hell, now the temple sanctum as a fire nation weapons vault. Ouch.

It does track though. Imprisoned shows that the Fire Nation has no qualms about exploitation - in that case, prison labour to build their fleet, and earth kingdom coal to power it. Makes sense that they would strong arm the mechanically minded into helping them as soon as an opportunity presented. Is that how the Fire Nation has gotten so far, shamelessly using anything and anyone that can be exploited? How many Fire Nation innovations are originally someone else's? Hot take: the Fire Nation is Thomas Edison.

Aang can do Bitchslaps!!!! This is wonderful! I demand more of these in future.

"We control the sky. That's something the Fire Nation can't do." So that fire nation hot air balloon I saw in the sanctum was for exploring the sea floor?

Ever seen that thing where two incredibly smart people get together and somehow manage to completely cancel out each others' intellects?

Ever-vigilant to roasting opportunities, Katara lands a perfect burn.

I guess actual murder bombs don't fly in a kids' show. But why not? Flaming fire ball catapults, crack archery squads, and actual past genocide are ok, but bombs aren't?

Aang, squadrons aren't very pacifist of you.

All those guys Aang buried with the air scooter are dead. Also not very pacifist.

Winchable tanks. Very clever. Wanna bet they stole that idea too?

This made me laugh. I was expecting some sort of advanced flamethrower technology but it's actually the bending equivalent of leaning out a hole in the wall to throw rocks. This is Flintstones Technology.

Since when are Katara's pants white?

Winchable, self-righting tanks? That's far too cool for the bad guys to have.

Told you it wasn't Fire Nation tech. Although Tayo's pride in his dad's counterbalancing system is maybe a tad misplaced, saying as that system is being used to attack his home. Oops?

YEEESSS! GLORY TO THE BEAST!!!!!

Upon being informed that the tanks run on a water counterbalance system, Katara, instead of exploiting this, decides that now is the time to remember that she is a waterbender (something she forgot despite spending the last few days (?) surrounded by snow), and uses ice to take the wheels off, what - two tanks? - and then decides to retreat and wait for her brother to save the day. See, this is what happens when Sokka isn't there to do her thinking for her.

Isn't wearing the enemy' insignia a big nono? Then again, a century of war is a big nono too, so I doubt anyone's going to quibble it.

Why are they dropping slime on tanks? How does slime stop them?

In a rare moment of Katara-thought, Sokka loses his mind and throws the whole furnace out of the balloon, rather than just opening it and scooping out some burning fuel. Sokka is so used to doing Katara's thinking for her that he's out of practice at doing his own thinking.

And the temple is still standing, how? Sokka just killed like hundreds of fire nation guys.

Note to self: always pack a spare firebender when travelling by hot air balloon.

Sigh. Saw it coming. Do you think Tayo's dad got the inspiration for the balloon's shape from those guys' hats?

Final thoughts

This episode was a bit of a mess, wasn't it? How many plot threads are they trying to juggle here? -preservation v. innovation -the spirit of airbending living on in Tayo -collaborating with the enemy -the plight of refugees -Natural gas PSA -Sokka the genius -Disability opening up alternate abilities -Guess who now has the ability to meet Aang on his own playing field?

These are all worth talking about, but maybe over the course of two episodes, maybe even three. Cramming this all into one episode means at best that your characters are going to be doing 180s at record speed (Aang and the airbending door), at worst that your characters are going to be nonsensical pastiches that serve the plot rather than act as humans (Tayo's dad is disturbingly all over the place).

The ever-present tensions between the preservation of the past and the needs of the present - in other words - honouring the ancestors v. supporting the descendants, is a very real, very ongoing conflict inherent to humanity as a whole. It's a whole industry: Cultural Resource Management. It's definitely worth talking about. But this was so ham-fisted. Avatar doesn't usually do ham-fisted; they've set a high standard for themselves in other episodes and I will hold them to that. I think sticking this theme into an episode that included so much else was what caused the less-than-subtle handling. There simply wasn't time to do it justice.

I would have liked if Aang and the temple dwellers reached a compromise at the end, rather than Aang completely giving over. Keep Aang's dialogue about Hermit Crabs (why are they black and white?) but then add a couple of lines about how now that the fire nation are gone, the sanctum can be returned to how it ought to be, or promise to decapitate no more monks. Just a couple of lines. Ultimately the temple dwellers are right that they need a place to live, but you can be right in a wrong way. A wrecking ball way. And you can preserve while innovating. It's possible. Wouldn't it have been on-brand if the episode ended with a compromise - you know, balance?

That being said, there was a lot that was good this episode. Tayo is a sweetheart. I loved the fact that he's in a wheelchair and it's not even really mentioned. His wheelchair doesn't even figure in the plot - it's just part of his character design. It's given the same weight as a character wearing glasses would have. I would love it if all physical differences could be treated with the same level of 'I don't care' as a character having glasses. So often in fiction, disabled characters are written with a disability rather than a personality, so it's nice to see it done properly here.

The unwilling Fire Nation collaborator thing definitely feels like a situation that could happen, but I don't like that Tayo's dad was so intent on not being blamed for it. He's an adult, and sometimes being an adult means owning up to stuff. Obviously he's in a rock and a hard place situation, and it's not his fault that he's stuck there (not like he had a choice) but he seemed more intent on getting Tayo to absolve him of blame than to actually explain. His first line upon being confronted being "you don't understand!" rankled.

There's no way that every adult in the temple didn't know it was happening, right? But they agreed to keep it from the kids? We see that Tayo's dad works with a crew when he's wrecking stuff for a bathouse (!!!), and I sincerely doubt that the stuff he built in the air sanctum was the work of only one person. That would have been a cool angle to explore, not that this episode needed yet more angles: The lies we tell our children.

The natural gas PSA didn't bother me at all. It did feel ham-fisted, but if this episode taught even one kid to look out for the smell of rotten eggs, then it's a win. Natural gas is serious stuff and not to be messed with. Anything that teaches kids that is good, no matter how ham-fisted.

Regarding the natural gas, I guess it came from the slime? But I don't know where the slime came from? It could also be unrelated to the slime, in which case the original airbenders would have kept it under control by airbending it away? It's a shoehorned-in PSA, I'm probably giving it too much thought.

Sokka collaborating with an equally intellectual adult that actively seeks his input is lovely to see, although I personally found Tayo's dad to be off-putting. Must have been a confidence boost for Sokka though.

Sokka and Katara both having brainfarts this episode was some rare sibling solidarity.

Poor Aang this episode just kept getting stomped on. This has been a rough few episodes for Aang. He majorly goofs up in Bato of the Water Tribe, he majorly goofs up (this time with consequences) in the Deserter, and now he gets to see that there is truly nothing the fire nation hasn't gotten their grubby hands on - and if there is, others have ruined it anyway. Can this poor guy have a break next episode? Maybe ride some giant animals? Giant hybrid animals?

I do like Tayo as kind of the next generation of airbenders. Iroh and the Deserter (not spelling that guy's name) both give me the impression that bending is as much philosophy as it is physical thing. It's neat to see that, while airbending is gone, airbending philosophy can remain. Can in fact pretty much spontaneously regenerate under the right conditions. I wonder, after enough generations of nonbenders thinking like airbenders, could airbending reappear?

The word I keep coming back to is ham-fisted. We're nearing the end of the season; maybe the writers had a bunch of leftover ideas they really wanted to use that they couldn't fit elsewhere? I'll rewatch this one just to listen to the commentary, but otherwise I think it's pretty meh.

Appa unleashing beast mode on a couple of tanks may well be the highlight of this episode.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #the northern air temple #avatar the last airbender

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4byssalprinc3 · 2 years

Text

A Heart to Heart - Diluc x Reader

Note: Okay, while this is technically a self-insert, the reader is still one of the Travelers, so sorry? A lot of this is dialogue too which is probably why it's so short. That or I'm just bad at writing lol. Anyway, have fun ig

Diluc sighed, slightly annoyed after how sour his day went. They're never going to learn to be more careful, are they?, he thought as he glanced in your direction.

You were sitting on the Winery's porch railing after a day's work helping out around the vineyard. Your hair was tangled and you were covered in dirt. You looked a little roughed up although it was mostly scratches. Yet, despite how much of an exhausted mess you were, you still somehow managed to be calm and content even after how hard you worked.

Diluc quickly retrieved a damp cloth and some small bandages and made his way over to you. It seemed his mere presence was significant enough for you to know he was there without looking or hearing anything

"Hey, Diluc," you said before you turned to face him.

"Hello, Traveler," Diluc greeted while he processed the state you were currently in, now close enough to be able to see it in detail. You were almost caked in dirt and your usually golden-tinted hair looked more brown than blond(e) and it was a rat's nest at this point.

"Um, Diluc?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"You're a mess," he said, blatantly.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I am," you chuckled before patting the spot next to you, "Care to join me?"

Diluc sat next to you, and showed you the cloth and bandages he had, "Do you mind?"

You gave him a friendly smile, "Not at all. What's with the bandages though?"

"I'd think that would be rather apparent."

You rolled your eyes, as if he were being silly, "Trust me, I'm fine. It's just a few scratches. The bandages are a little overkill, don't you think?"

"Considering the amount of dirt on you, it's better to take precautions. Especially since some of these 'scratches' broke the skin. You don't want them to get infected, do you?" he scolded as he started bandaging the scratches and scrapes that seemed worse than the others. Fortunately, there were very few of them.

"No."

"Then don't ask questions."

"Okay, then."

There was a brief silence before Diluc spoke again.

"...So, those slimes must've been tough to fight, according to all the scratches and scrapes you’ve acquired. You were really struggling there," he teased.

"Hey! For your information, the sun was in my eyes."

"Right."

"It was! I could've easily beaten them otherwise," you pouted which quickly turned into giggling.

"Stop moving."

"Oh right, sorry," you said with one last giggle.

Once again it was quiet. As Diluc finished bandaging a pretty nasty scrape on your arm, he looked up and his breath caught for a moment. You were sitting peacefully, eyes closed while you took in the warmth of the setting sun as its reddish-orange glow shone on your skin. The sight of your serene figure was absolutely captivating as Diluc watched breathlessly, a warm and dreamy feeling lightly plucking at his heartstrings .

You opened your eyes, causing Diluc to quickly look away from you.

"What do you like about me?"

"Pardon?" he replied somewhat panicked, although he hid it well.

"What do you like about me?"

"Uh, well—"

You cut him off, "You don't have to answer. I know it was a little out of left field."

"No, it's fine. Let's see, what do I like about you…"

He knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he couldn't let you know that, so he waited for a few seconds, trying to appear as though he were contemplating, "Well, for one, you're incredibly reckless and impulsive. You tend to be somewhat of a troublemaker. You can also be stubborn and temperamental..."

"Gee, thanks for the compliments," you sassed, facetiously.

He glanced at you while you tried to blow your hair out of your face, only for it to fall back down again. He reached over to tuck it behind your ear before he continued, "However, you're also kind and generous. You're friendly and optimistic, as well as smart, and you're always ready to drop what you're doing to protect and help others when you can. I admire your determination and compassionate disposition."

You stared at him, clearly shocked and a bit flustered, "Oh. Um, thank you. I could uh— I could say the same about you."

Diluc chuckled halfheartedly, "I appreciate the praise, Traveler, though I don't feel I deserve it."

"Why?"

"I'm blunt, cynical, and I'm not exactly the friendliest person. I'm also judgmental and generally unsociable. Those aren't exactly ideal traits to have. Most often they repel other people."

"Well, it might seem like that to you, but I think a lot of people admire you. At least, I do. To be honest, I actually admire you a lot. It's kind of awesome that you can take down multiple abyss mages at once and you make it look so easy. You protect Mondstadt without wanting anything in return. You're a good person, Diluc," you touched his hand in an act of comfort, smiling softly, "You deserve all of the praise given to you. Be proud of it."

"...Thank you."

"Of course," you stretched and hopped off the railing, followed by himself,

"Well, Mr. Darknight hero, it's getting pretty late and Paimon’s probably waiting for me, and she’s not exactly the patient type so I’d better get going. It was nice talking to you," you gave him a quick peck on the cheek, catching him off guard and waving goodbye as you ran back to Mondstadt.

Diluc blinked as he tried to process what just happened. A small smile sprouted on his face, I suppose this was a good day after all.

#diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin self insert #genshin fanfic #oneshot #short oneshot #genshin impact

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fallout-lou-begas · 3 years

Note

obligatory trans piper wright ask (answer at your leisure!!)

omg thank you anon haha. i'm home from my friend's house where i've been recovering from surgery, so now so i can kind of elaborate on this

i tend to very facetiously, tongue-in-cheekly say that like, well of course Piper Wright is a trans woman, she's super obnoxious and annoying and we're all just like that (and again this is just me being funny about myself, though she'd fit in right at home with like, any given collection of extremely online trans shitposters am I right?) or that she just looks trans in the way she dresses and acts, and there is a grain of truth to that in my own projected opinion; even though the game presents her as nothing but cis there is something about her appearance, her face, her stature, and even the affect of her voice that just seems plausibly trans to me, enough to let me entertain the idea without getting yanked out of it by something unbelievable.

i also think that piper wright being trans adds a very welcome and very significant extra layer of complexity to two of her main character arcs. Her being trans complicates her mission to constantly expose synths within and rout them out of Diamond City because for a trans woman, whether Piper is stealth and passing or "out, loud, and proud," to be so invested in outing identities like this "for the greater good" could speak to a lot of tension and anxiety she may have about her own place in society; even when it's ostensibly for a good and moral reason (the synths are being planted by the Institute, which is bad), the fervor with which she approaches this mission is just so much more interesting when you refract it through the perpetual motion machine of an identity crisis that is inherent to the transsexual experience. the other part of her arc that gets complicated is her older sisterhood with Nat, and the idea of Piper discovering herself and coming into her own as a woman through the role of becoming Nat's older sister just makes me really really really soft and emotional

so yeah those are my trans piper wright thoughts, i love her. thanks for asking!

#asks #anon #piper wright #fallout 4 #i'm trans fyi #what's funny is that i've barely even ever played fallout 4 i just really love her lmao #fallout 4 trans projection variety hour

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Text

intellectual guesswork.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: another ajf update that requires absolutely no context to enjoy! i love you all so much. send some extra love to your favorite writers this week :)

one quick thing - if you’re on my taglist, please consider dropping a reply or a reblog! i love to see what you all think, and it encourages me to keep going :) it’s also getting a bit long, and i want to make sure my mutuals and people who engage are seeing everything - tumblr sometimes has a hard time with a lot of mentions.

words: 1.6k warnings: none!

summary: “ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it.” - addison mizner. au!may 2008

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next? edited: january 12th, 2021

You all settle into one row. Aaron’s on the end beside you, looking very sharp in a crisp black suit, his favorite Rolex, and a settled kind of confidence you’ve only seen in him a few times. It’s like he’s in his natural habitat.

Aaron’s record as a federal prosecutor speaks for itself, of course, but you’ve never seen him in action. As often as they can, the bureau’s leadership sends him in as an expert witness. This time, the case happens to be one of yours. The judge hasn’t required a sequestration for Aaron, so you get the treat of sitting together in the courtroom.

He’s scoffed and mumbled snide remarks under his breath all morning. You’re just itching to see him get up on the stand and give this joker an education.

Emily leans over, whispering in your ear. “I promise you’ve never seen anything like this before. Hotch is going to rip this clown to shreds.”

You stifle a laugh and look over at Aaron. He heard her. Leaning toward you, he murmurs, “All my JD does is collect dust. When I use it, I’d like to enjoy it.”

“Your Honor, the prosecution would like to call our expert witness, Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, to the stand.”

He takes a breath and rises, buttoning his suit jacket and crossing the courtroom. His presence commands respect and everyone in the courtroom seems to shrink before him.

The prosecution’s questions go over smoothly, and the defense attorney stands with an unreasonable amount of confidence.

Emily leans over. “He thinks he can get Hotch with at least one of these questions, and he might. But just watch.”

You nod, taking everything in.

“So you’ve stated that it was your profile of the killer that led you and the police to my clients door that night.”

“Behavioral analysis was a factor in our investigation, yes.”

Without hesitation, the attorney follows up. “And was behavioral analysis also a factor in the Olympic Park bombings case in Atlanta?”

“Yes, it was.” Aaron’s eyes and tone never waver, no hint of arrogance or cheek.

“And was that suspect you identified,” the attorney asks, far too aggressively, “Richard Jewell, ever convicted of the bombings?”

The prosecution objects, and you watch Aaron. Every part of him observes the proceedings with an outwardly detached interest, but his eyes are alive - strategizing and anticipating. It’s like you can see the wheels turning as the lawyers bicker.

The judge ends the squabble. “I’ll allow it.”

Aaron, now with permission, answers simply, “No, he was not convicted.”

“Because he was innocent. Your profile led you to the wrong man.”

Oh, give me a break. It takes everything in you not to scoff and you can feel Emily’s eye roll.

“Jewell was not the perpetrator, but if you look at the real Olympic Park Bomber, Eric Rudolph, you’ll see that our profile was dead-on.”

Dead-on indeed, Aaron.

“Well, how about we look at the Baton Rouge Killer? Your unit said that he was white and living in the city. He was Black and from the suburbs.”

Aaron’s eyes narrow and you feel Spencer shift beside you. Emily shakes her head. “Don’t worry,” she whispers. “He always recovers, never in the way you’d expect.”

“How do you know?”

Emily’s face pulls into a little smile. “I’ve read the transcripts. Hotch is terribly clever.”

“You said that Dennis Rader, the B.T.K. Killer,” the attorney continues, “was divorced and impotent. He turned out to be married with two kids.”

JJ huffs, and you hear her whisper to Spencer, “Can we quit with the sermon?”

His lips turn up. “Just wait.”

Dave leans over and stares them down over Derek. Stop talking.

All of you look down at your hands like chastised children, but your gaze floats back to Aaron right away.

The prosecution objects again, this time on the grounds of preaching. The judge forces a question, and the attorney turns back on Aaron.

“Having been wrong on those cases, isn’t it possible that you were wrong about Brian Matloff?”

“No.” Your chest squeezes. He’s completely firm in his denial.

How does he do that?

“Fact is,” the attorney continues like Aaron didn’t speak at all, “behavioral analysis is really just intellectual guesswork. You probably couldn’t tell me the color of my socks with any greater accuracy than a carnival psychic.”

“Objection!”

Her outburst is unnecessary. Aaron has a plan. His eyes track to you as if to check in. Are you paying attention?

If you weren’t watching before, you’re certainly watching now. Always.

“Withdrawn.”

“Charcoal grey.” His flat assertion makes you gasp and you immediately cover your mouth with your hand to stifle the sound.

The attorney turns around. “Well, look at that,” he exposes his socks to the court, and they are, in fact, charcoal grey. “He got one right.”

Aaron’s not finished. “You match them to the color of your suit to appear taller. You also wear lifts and you’ve had the soles of your shoes replaced. One might think you’re frugal, but in fact, you’re having financial difficulties.”

You do your best to school your expression and remove your hand from your mouth. Checking down the row, you see six smirks watching the witness box.

“You wear a fake Rolex…”

And you’d know.

“...because you pawned the real one to pay your debts. My guess would be to a bookie.”

Is he smiling?

“I took this case pro bono.” There’s tension in Mr. Charcoal Grey’s voice. You can hear it behind the false confidence and it pulls a smile from you. “I am one of the most successful criminal attorneys in the state.”

Hotch continues, completely bypassing him. “Your vice is horses.” There’s definitely a little smile on his face now. “Your Blackberry’s been buzzing on the table every twenty minutes, which happens to be the average time between posts from Colonial Downs. You’re getting race results.” Your smile gets wider, and Emily grabs your hand.

“Just watch.”

“And every time you do, it affects your mood in court, and you’re not having a very good day.” There’s something that looks almost like concern on Aaron’s face, but you know it’s nothing if not facetious. He’s ripping this poor man to shreds without changing a single thing about his presentation.

I love -

Don’t finish that thought.

Why not?

Remember how he’s freshly divorced?

I know, but have you seen him?

“That’s because you pick horses the same way you practice law -”

You lean forward and Emily follows, her thumbnail between her teeth.

The final blow.

“- by always taking the long shot.”

If this was any other setting, you’re sure the entire team would be on their feet, shouting and jeering. But alas, you’re in court, so you settle for a wide smile and a suppressed laugh. Amused brown eyes meet yours from across the room and you shake your head just the tiniest bit. I can’t believe you.

His lips twitch.

“Well, you spin a very good yarn, Agent, but as usual, you’ve proven nothing.” He’s just trying to recover something, anything left of his dignity. He fails, miserably.

“If I’m not mistaken,” Aaron says, his eyebrows raised just a little, “the results from the fifth race should be coming through any minute.”

Just then, his Blackberry buzzes on the defense table. “Why don’t you tell us if your luck has changed?”

You raise your hands to your face to cool the rising heat in your cheeks.

��Your honor, this is - “

The judge takes matters into his own hands. “What do you want me to do? Either show us your Blackberry or cut him loose, counselor.”

Hotch and the defense attorney share a loaded look. It’s a battle of wills.

Aaron wins.

“Nothing further.”

+++

When you all leave the courthouse, you practically latch onto Aaron’s arm, completely floored.

“How did you do that?”

He laughs and Derek jumps up beside him, shaking his shoulders. “Come on, Hotch. That was incredible.”

“Why have a law degree if you aren’t going to use it?”

+++

He offers you a ride home later that evening and you take him up on it. You’re both still in the car, idling in front of your house.

“That really was impressive today,” you admit, your eyes on your hands.

You can feel his soft smile rather than see it. “Thanks. I know it didn’t quite go the way we wanted as far as the case itself, but there’s more to come.”

“It’s never as bad as it looks in the first couple of days.”

“Exactly.” He sighs. “Thanks again for being there today. It’s…” his lips twist as he thinks, “nice to have the team around.”

You reach out, squeezing his forearm before immediately letting him go. “Of course. We’ll always be there for you. Plus, there’s nothing better than watching you tear blowhard lawyers to shreds in a court of law.”

“I’m not sure that’s exactly how it went.”

“You’re kidding!” You laugh. “That’s just what happened. The man left without half his soul! You absolutely tore it from his body.”

The pair of you quiet, and you move to get out of the car. He stops you with a hand over yours as you unclip your seatbelt. “Really. Thanks for being there today.”

“I can’t emphasize this enough - it was my pleasure.”

Enough of a pleasure as it was, his smile in the dark of the car is the best part of your day.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild @cevanswhre @colbyskoalas @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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ahkaahshi · 4 years

Text

the long way home [miya atsumu x reader]

pairing: miya atsumu x fem reader

genre: fluff

warning(s): a swear word or two

word count: 2k

overview: the times when you and atsumu get to walk back from school together are few and far between, so, whenever you get the chance to have each other’s company, you take the long way home. while all of these walks are special, this one ends up being more so than the others.

As students pour through the front gates of Inarizaki High, desperate to get home after a long week filled with seemingly endless days of mind-numbing lessons, you stand in solidarity at the base of a large tree just outside the entrance. While the shade of its long, twisted branches and green leaves provides you some protection from the warmth of the sun’s rays, there’s a chill in the air indicative of springtime that nudges you into the light every now and then. You tentatively press a button on your phone to bring its screen to life.

Where the hell is he? I swear, if he’s talking to those freakin’ fangirls again, I’m gonna--

"Looks like someone’s gettin’ antsy.”

A facetious comment stated by a familiar voice interrupts your thought and brings your attention to your friend as he saunters towards you with a smug grin on his face. You drop your phone back into a small pocket in your bag and roll your (e/c) eyes at him, feigning denial even though he’d hit the nail on the head, as per usual. It was quite annoying how perceptive he was since he had such a backhanded way of letting people know he was onto them.

“I don’t really like being around here for longer than I’m required to be, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble, gaze traveling upwards to meet his when he comes to a halt in front of you.

With a dismissive wave of the hand, he says, “I know, I know. Here, have some of my drink as a peace offerin’.”

You glance at the half-full bottle of soda he extends towards you and shake your head. “Gross. I don’t want your leftovers.”

“That’s a shame,” he sighs and twists off the cap, “’cuz it was meant for ya in the first place, but I got thirsty ‘n drank some of it.”

Cocking your head, you rebut, “So, it’s a shame that I turned down a drink you bought for me but ended up drinking yourself?”

He nods at you as he takes a gratuitous swig, making his Adam’s apple bob beneath the tender skin on his neck with each swallow. You must have a look of longing in your eyes without even knowing it, since he removes his lips from the mouth of the bottle with a small pop and dangles it in front of you tauntingly. You hesitate before reaching for it and taking a sip.

His honey-colored gaze remains on you for a long moment before he turns it away to look down the busy sidewalks and streets stretching in either direction. A small chuckle bubbles in his throat upon hearing you fail to stifle a hiccup that slips out of your mouth from the carbonation. Though you know his amusement will be followed by a snide remark of some sort, you can’t hide the smile that spreads across your lips.

This time, however, he spares you the grief and instead suggests, “Hey, I thought ya were itchin’ ta get outta here, (f/n). C’mon, let’s take the long way home. We got a lot ta catch up on.”

Wordlessly, you agree with a nod and fall into step beside him once he begins walking away, starting your indirect journey back to your houses. As the two of you exchange stories about gossip circulating around the school, volleyball practices, and the strange, new teacher who’d just been hired, a familiar sense of comfort washes over you, relieving some of the tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding.

It was a feeling that you could derive from very few people, but you seemed to feel it the most whenever you were with your longtime friend, Atsumu. You’re unsure of what exactly it is about him that always brings these feelings of security and ease. Maybe it’s knowing you can talk to him about anything as a result of his familiarity and closeness to you. Maybe it’s the lighthearted nature of your conversation and the warmth of his tone that feels like a serenade after a long day of listening to teachers drone on and on about mundane subjects.

Or, maybe it’s that same thought that’s occurred to you multiple times only to be shunned and shoved into the deepest recesses of your mind the instant it resurfaces--as if even having it in the first place was too dangerous. You want to assure yourself that it’s nothing more than a silly, pipe dream that would fade soon enough, but it was getting harder to ignore each time it made itself known. And, it seemed to grow stronger with distance such as that you’d had from him this week due to your busy schedules.

You don’t even notice that your train of thoughts has led you off course until Atsumu brings you back to the station with a nudge. Suddenly, everything snaps back into focus.

You’re standing in front of the corner store that’s become yours and Atsumu’s old haunt after visiting it time and time again on your after-school adventures through town. To your right, his steady gaze is fixed on you and his thick eyebrows are furrowed in confusion.

He asks, “What’s up? I think I lost ya somewhere along the way here.”

“O-Oh, nothing,” you answer aloud, plastering a smile on your face and making a beeline to the front door of the shop.

Except for the fact that I might be in love with you, your inner voice continues. As you admit this in your mind, acknowledging the feeling rather than rejecting it, you feel the skin on your face prickle with heat.

He’s far from convinced, and he’s at the door in a flash so he can stare down at you inquisitively while you shuffle inside. “Somethin’s up with ya. Don’t know what, but yer actin’ funny all of a sudden,” he murmurs. You swear he’s trying to see into your mind with that laser-focused gaze of his, and you worry that if he keeps it up, you might just confess to him right then and there in the--you take a quick glance around--chip aisle.

“It’s really nothing, ‘Tsumu,” you lie with a dismissive wave of the hand. Before he can grill you on the subject, you quickly change it. “So, what’re we getting from here?”

He leans closer to you as he reaches past you to grab a bag of chips rather than asking you to move and says, "I dunno. Just wanted some snacks. Mind grabbin' a candy bar?"

"Am I gonna be the one paying for it?" you deadpan, crossing your arms in front of your chest and raising a brow at him in spite of the redness threatening to bloom across your cheeks.

He scoffs, “’Course not, princess. I got it.”

You’re quick to turn on your heels and march over to the candy bars another aisle over to keep him from seeing how affected you are by his comment. After taking a moment to calm your racing heart and gather yourself, you join him at the cash register so he can pay for his bounty of snacks. You thank him when he wordlessly drops a small bag of gummy candies into your hand.

He seems to have forgotten your flustered reaction earlier, since he starts yammering on about a fight that he and Osamu got into over who has the best quirk in BNHA, much to your relief.

You should know it’s naive to think he’s moved past it, however, since he never passes up the opportunity to tease you. As the two of you bask in the warmth of the sun on a bench in a nearby park, he brings it up once more.

“So, now that you’ve finished the candy I bought for ya, how ‘bout you answer a li’l question for me in exchange for my kindness?” he suggests, giving your arm a prod with his elbow. The mischievous smile he wears as he moves his head closer to yours makes your heart flutter in your chest.

“I should’ve known that shit wasn’t free,” you sigh, “Whaddya wanna know?”

His grin widens. “You’ve got a crush on someone, don’tcha?” You make no response, so he throws his arm around your shoulders and gives your body a shake, causing your head to sway back and forth. “C’mon! We don’t keep secrets from each other! Who is it?”

“It’s nobody, ‘Tsumu,” you whine as you give him a playful nudge when he moves closer.

He runs his hand through his golden hair and mentions, “Well, that’s a cryin’ shame, since there’s someone who has a crush on you.”

Your response is instantaneous: “Who?!”

“Me.”

The silence that befalls the two of you is deafening in spite of the environmental sounds surrounding you. He watches you expectantly, gaze steady and demeanor exuding confidence, as per usual. After a few seconds pass, you release a rather loud laugh that you try to stifle with your hands.

“You almost had me there,” you manage to speak between heaving breaths.

His air of confidence crumbles instantly, and his face turns bright red. “H-Huh?” he stammers.

“Oh, come on! There’s no way you can expect me to believe that given how much you love taunting me.”

“(F/n)...”

“Nice try!”

He reaches out towards you and places his hand on your shoulder, putting an end to your fits of laughter. When you look into his eyes the color of fresh honey once more, he’s wearing an expression so serious that it almost shocks you--since it was one he usually reserved for volleyball matches. Your heart instantly drops into your stomach and any ounce of amusement you’d previously felt evaporates instantly.

“That wasn’t a joke... was it?” you utter stupidly.

He shakes his head. “I really like ya. Hell, I think I might even be in love with ya.”

Even though the response you should give--and that you’d been waiting to give--is glaringly obvious, you remain in an awestricken silence. During this time, he fidgets nervously and averts his gaze to look down at his slightly scuffed, black dress shoes. His face is growing redder with each second that passes. Feeling his hand retreat from your shoulder instinctively makes you grab it and hold it in your own to keep him from putting more distance between the two of you.

“’Tsumu,” you begin after taking a deep breath to summon your confidence, “I think I’m in love with you too.”

There’s a pause as you each take a second to let the words sink in, but his fingers intertwine with yours and give the back of your hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Your eyes travel from where your connected hands rest on your knee up to his once more as he wonders, “So... wanna give this a try, then? I think ya owe me at least one date after the way ya reacted when I confessed jus’ now. Damn near stopped my heart.”

With a giggle and a bright smile that sets his heart racing, you agree. “I guess I could let you take me out on a date.”

Instead of retorting with a smart comment, he wraps an arm around your back and pulls you into a tight embrace, as if he’s been waiting forever to hold you close to him. He nestles his face in amongst your (h/l), (h/c) hair as you press yours into his neck. You collectively let out a small sigh of relief as you enjoy one another’s warmth for another, peaceful moment before pulling away.

There are many questions to be answered, but the first that’s asked echoes from his mouth. “Wanna hang out at my practices every now ‘nd then so we can take the long way home from school together more often?”

Your lips form another, enthusiastic grin as you say, “I would love to.”

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bestworstcase · 2 years

Note

hello, i am the anon from before who asked about penny's return. thank you so much for taking a lot of time and effort to give such a comprehensive answer. you're a fantastic writer! i read every word of this, i really did! but... i am part of the penny 3.0 return crowd so... as you might guess, this post gave me some very complicated feelings. i have no idea if i've ever actually believed any of the 3.0 theories, or if it's just that i miss her so much (she was personally important to me) that I can't come to terms with her being gone. shrug. it might just be that i personally don't want my favorite character's arc to end in tragedy and i'd rather make myself feel better by hanging onto some sort of hope, regardless of plausibility, for as long as I can. i want to make it clear I don't think the writers owe me anything, though, because it's their show, not mine. i think maybe your post was a good reality check? i think reading that will make it easier for me if/when the time comes that I have to accept she's just gone for good. sorry for the rambling.

👋 hi anon!

for whatever it’s worth i think it’s very normal and okay and fair to have that kind of reaction when a character we really resonated with dies or even just suffers through hardship—i don’t think there’s anything remotely entitled about just feeling sad and hoping that something that looks like the end isn’t actually. that’s just. part of grieving? wishing it could not have happened? and with fiction there’s this inherent nonreality that means that wish at least has the theoretical potential to be realized, and that makes it in some ways more potent, i think.

and i do get the feeling wrt penny in particular i mean, i am not writing fifteen thousand words about her character arc because she didn’t have a big emotional impact on me dkdsjsh 😭

(my intro to the penny resurrection theory was finishing 8, learning my gf’s sister is all in on the theory, going ??? and scrolling through her whole tag and blogwalking a bit to glut on the theory posts, and finding a. decent chunk of them actually flat out saying the crew has a responsibility to “fix” penny’s death and “make right” the harm done to penny fans by bringing her back, & those sort of posts are specifically what that section of mine is responding to 🥴)

i do think there’s also, yeah, value in being able to step back from it and look at like, the general shape of a story to ask “ok, is there really support for this to happen or am i just hoping really hard?” bc it can be genuinely crushing to get your hopes up about something so much that you end up convinced it’s going to happen only for it to… not, and managing expectations is the best way to avoid doing that to ourselves. (*stares at my other hyperfixation* i have…been there haha 🙃)

(and as facetious as i was being with the ‘try fanfiction’ thing in the behemoth, rly this is exactly what fanfiction is for, exploring alt scenarios where a character gets a different ending or takes a different path, and i think that’s a good avenue to channel these sorts of feelings into, whether by reading or writing.)

#also icb u just read my fifteen thousand word long thought dump and then apologized TO ME for rambling gbfhcjf anon. 💜

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atlafan · 4 years

Text

Take it Slow - Part Sixty-Four

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, and the start of smut...

a/n: okay this is short only because the angst made me tired, and it’s late, and I wanna deliver on the smut so....that’s that on that.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

“Holy shit! Someone got some sun!” Niall says as you get into his car Monday morning. He squints at your neck. “He knows it’s not really scarf weather anymore, right?”

“I’ve lost the energy to care or fight with him about it. Besides, I’m sure it’ll go right up Mark’s ass. What a nice treat for me.” You laugh. “How was it last week, anyways?”

“Good! The three of ‘em actually kept to themselves which was nice. You gave him plenty of work to do.”

“Oh good.”

“How was Harry, happy to see yeh?”

“Of course he was.” You furrow your brows at him. “Is there something you’d like to say to me?”

“I’m not the one who got into a fight.”

“Niall.” You sigh.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry about all of it. It was stupid, and primitive.”

“I appreciate you both looking out for me, but I wish you wouldn’t be angry for me. I feel like I’m really moving on, and it’s hard to do that when the two of you can’t keep your cool.”

“I know, I really am sorry.” He gives your hand a squeeze and you smile at him.

“It’s okay. Wait! How was yours and Sarah’s six month? I haven’t had a chance to ask her yet?” Niall nearly stops short on the drive.

“Um, it was good, really good. I got her a new anklet, and she really liked it. We had a nice dinner out too.”

“Oh that’s great!” He parks the car and you both get out. “Hope you enjoyed what she got for you.” You wink at him and head inside.

“We’re not talkin’ about it!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, have we reached a point where we can’t talk about sex anymore?” You ask facetiously. Niall’s face was beat red.

“Don’t play with me. I know you two went shoppin’ together.”

“She wanted a second opinion.” You shrug.

“Wasn’t it weird for you to go shoppin’ with her?”

“Not really. They went shopping with me earlier in the day to get something for Harry. We’re all very close.”

“What else did you get for him?”

“What do you mean what else?” You cross your arms.

Just as he’s about to speak you both are greeted by Trish.

“We’ll talk later.” He says and you nod as you both go to your separate offices.

You had a meeting right away with Mark that you were dreading. He was waiting for you outside your office.

“Welcome back.” He says with a smile. “See you got some sun.”

“Thanks, and yeah I did.” You unlock your office door and he follows you in. “I just need a minute to get settled.”

“Take your time.” He says sitting down.

You plug your laptop into the docking station and get logged on. You start looking over some of the things Mark worked on, and you actually weren't disappointed.

“Took some time to watch some of those videos on the Adobe site, turns out you were right, it’s not that difficult to learn.

“I’m actually kind of impressed, Mark.” You smile at him.

“Thanks.” He smiles back. He notices your neck, but doesn’t say anything. You’re actually being nice to him and he doesn’t want to ruin it. “So, boss, what do you need me to work on this week?” You smirk at him.

“Well, I’ll have to go over all this and get back to you. Is that alright?”

“Course, I’ll just be with the others in the conference room.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but Mark seemed to have a serious attitude adjustment, and you liked it. Maybe the rest of the time he’d be working with you wouldn’t be so bad. You look over everything, and make up a list of what you’ll need from him. You go into the conference room right before you leave to meet Harry for lunch, it was Monday after all.

“Hey Mark, here’s what I’ll need from you this week.”

“Thanks. We’re all going down the street for lunch, do you wanna join?”

“Can’t, sorry, I go to Harry’s studio on Mondays.” You walk out, and go down to Niall’s office. “Need your keys to meet Harry.” He tosses them to you. “Thanks! Have a good lunch.” You smile.

“You too!”

Harry was having the day from hell. Somehow word got out that Harry and Mariah had become chummy outside of work, and that he set her up with Rachel. Someone must’ve seen a picture of them hanging out last week on Instagram.

“Harry?” Julia asks, coming into his office.

“Yeah?”

“This is sort of non work related, but I was wondering if you could help me with a school thing…”

“I thought you weren’t in any classes this semester.”

“I’m not, but we have a faculty member we’re supposed to pass things in to for the internship to prove that we’re actually doing stuff. I’ve never really put a portfolio together, and I was wondering if you could help me now that I’ve written a few things.”

“Oh…um…”

“I’d ask Myk, but I want it to look really nice and you’re so creative.” If Harry had any faults, it would be that he could be sweet-talked into just about anything.

“Sure, yeah, I’d be happy to help. I’d have to help you at the end of the day though when I have more time.”

“Really?! Thank you so much! Would tomorrow after work be alright?” You had your therapy appointment tomorrow, so it wasn’t like Harry would be missing precious time with you at home.

“Yeah, that works.”

“Thank you Harry, this’ll be such a big help!” Harry turns and sees you walking in.

“No problem, run along now, my lady’s here.” He nods towards you and she walked out of his office. You brush by her as you walk in. “Hey you.” He stands up to hug you, and squish his nose to yours. “Have I told you how happy I am that you’re back?”

“Maybe just a couple times.” You kiss him quick. “It’s nice out, wanna eat outside?”

“Sure.” He grabs his things and heads out with you.

“So, what did Julia want?”

“Oh, she wants me to help her put a portfolio together for school. I’m gonna help her tomorrow while you’re with Dr. Mara, is that alright?”

“Yeah.” You shrug. “Why would I care?”

“You don’t exactly like her.”

“Neither do you.”

“True.” You both chuckle.

Julia purposefully wears a tight dress to work Tuesday. She couldn’t wait to spend time with just Harry in the office alone. She wouldn’t make the same mistake she did last time. She needed to be less obvious, and she genuinely needed his help with her portfolio.

You: babe, want me to bring you dinner after my appointment? Can meet u at the studio

Harry: that’d be great! Pick up whatever u want <3

Julia comes into Harry’s office with her laptop at the end of the day. Everyone slowly starts to leave. He grabs a chair for her so they can both sit at his desk.

“So, I have these pieces that I’ve done, and I really have no idea how to organize any of them. I wanna give my instructor a virtual experience you know? But I don’t wanna just use prezi or screen record.” Harry hums along in understanding.

“With my photos, I’ve sort created these, like, virtual booklets almost. There’s this program, hold on, let me email you.”

Harry sends her the info so she can set up an account.

“I think your prof will be impressed that you’re putting in so much effort.” He smiles.

“It’s not every day we get to basically take a semester off from classes, so I just wanna prove to her, and to all my friends that think I’m not doing anything that I’m actually working really hard.”

“You shouldn’t care what other people think of you, but I get where you’re coming from. Alright, pull up all your articles and I’ll show you how to add them into the program.”

He leans in close and points to where she can drag and drop things. She tries her absolute best to not get distracted by the smell of his cologne. After an hour or so they take a little break.

“So, you have a year left?”

“Mhm.”

“What do you think you’ll do after you graduate?”

“I have no idea.” She sighs. “I think I wanna travel. I could see myself freelancing for a bit before finding something stable.”

“You should definitely travel! I’m glad I did. You learn a lot about yourself, helps you grow up a little bit too.” He smiles at her. “Also, it’s okay to have no idea what you want to do. It’s not like graduating automatically means you’ll have it all figured out. Your passions will change all the time, and you might find you didn’t want what you thought.”

“Was there something you thought you’d be doing but realized you didn’t wanna do?”

“Yes and no. I knew I wanted to be a photographer. I thought for a while I’d end up in marketing with my mate Niall, especially while I was going for my MBA. But the structure was just too rigid. I also didn’t wanna wear a suit every day.”

“That’s too bad, you look so good in a suit.” She jokes nervously.

“True, I do clean up pretty well.” He jokes back. “But I just knew it wasn’t for me. There’s too many people to answer to. Even here there’s a lot of people to answer to, but I feel like my vision gets trusted more and more and I’m able to just do what I want. I think that’s the key. Do something you want, not something that someone else wants for you.”

“That makes so much sense. You really have it all figured out.”

“S’not that I have it all figured it out, but I’ve had a lot of experience to steer me in different directions.”

“I feel like I have a better head on my shoulders than a lot of my friends. This internship alone has been such a big help.”

“Good. Let’s get back to it, shall we?”

He leans back in closer and shows her some other things to make the virtual booklet look more interesting and engaging. He cracks a joke or two and she ends up putting a hand on his shoulder while she laughs.

You were just coming up from the elevator with dinner. You picked up some of his favorite sushi. It was dark in the studio except for Harry’s office. Julia’s hand was still lingering on Harry’s shoulder. She gripped lightly at the material, and his eyes went wide.

“Woah, what are you-“ He starts to stand up.

“Hey!” You say dropping the food to the floor. You grab the back of Julia’s dress and yank her over to the wall in Harry’s office, practically throwing her into the glass. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

“Nothing, I was just-“

“You were just trying to kiss my boyfriend?!” Your hand wraps around her throat and you push her back against the glass again. Harry wraps his arms around your waist to pull your away from her the girl cowering in front of you. You try to break from him, but he’s too strong. “I will end your shit, do you understand me?!”

“Julia, get your shit and go, now.” Harry says, very pissed, but not wanted to add more fuel to the fire.

Her body shakes as she grabs her laptop.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“You didn’t mean to what?! Try to kiss him?! You’re a psycho! He already told you he wasn’t going to step out on me, remember when you tried to fuck him in Florida? He told me everything! I think I’ve been very nice, but I’m done. I am soooo done.” You look back at him. “Let go of me.” Harry cautiously loosens his grip on you and you get in her face. She uses her laptop to shield her. “As god as my witness, if you don’t leave him alone, if I even hear of you looking in his direction, I will end you. Your life will be over. You’ll get fired from this internship, cause guess what, you’ve been sexually harassing him. And don’t look at me like you don’t know that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. You’ll get fired, you won’t have a good enough reference for your next job, and you won’t get hired anywhere. You’ll live in your parent’s basement for the rest of your life all because you couldn’t keep your fucking hands to yourself after he said no.” You look her up and down. “You think you’re special just because he’s nice to you? Just because you wear a tight dress you thought he would get into your pants? Guess what little girl, I used to pull the same shit when I was your age. Grow the fuck up. And I don’t care if you’re the coffee girl. Have Dana do it, or Isaac. I don’t care. It’s not you anymore. Stay the fuck away from him.” You step forward again and she flinches.

You smirk at her, and she slips out of the office, running out of the studio. You turn around to Harry with wild eyes. He was absolutely stunned, and a tad frightened. You were fuming.

“Would you care to explain to me why her hand was on you in the first place?” You ask crossing your arms.

“I know you’re not blaming me for any of this.” He starts packing up his things. “You better hope she doesn’t report you threatening her.”

“She better hope you don’t go to H.R.! She’s lucky you didn’t report her when the thing in Florida happened!”

“You know as well as I do she could’ve turned that around and said I came to her room. It wasn’t worth the headache. I had the situation under control.”

“Did you?! It looked like she was about to kiss you, Harry!”

“You need to calm down! I would’ve never let that happen! I was about to stand up and tell her we were done.”

“Why. Was. She. Touching. You?” You step closer to him.

“I don’t know. I made some joke, she laughed, and then she put her on my shoulder. I noticed she started to grab at the material so I was about to get up. S’not like she grabbed my dick, Y/N.”

He walks out of the office and you follow him. He turns the light off and locks the door. He sighs and picks up the food from the ground.

“This should still be fine, nothin’ came out of the packaging.”

“How could you even eat?! I feel absolutely sick to my stomach!” You both walk over near Isaac’s desk where there’s more light.

“Babe, I-“

“Don’t babe me!” You put a finger in his face. “Only I get to touch you, do you understand? Me, only me!” Your eyes well up with tears and he puts everything down to wrap you in his arms. He hugs you to his chest. You cry into him.

“S’not worth your tears, love.” He strokes the back of your head. “I’m upset too, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like that anyone thinks they could touch me. You’re the only one I want touchin’ me. I only want you, Y/N.” You look up at him and he wipes your tears away.

“I didn’t mean to get so upset. I just came from therapy, and then I walked in and saw that, and I lost it.”

“I thought you were goin’ to throw her through the glass.” He chuckles. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen yeh like that before.”

“Oh, have I never told you that I’m a black belt? All my siblings and I did karate growing up. I could literally end her shit.”

“You’ve been keepin’ something like that from me all this time?” He says with a fake gasp.

“You’re only supposed to use it in certain situations.” He kisses the top of your head. “Shit, are there security cameras here?”

“Yeah, but Isaac’s the one who checks them in the morning. I’ll text him and ask him to not say anything to anyone.”

“Okay.”

You both leave and meet at home. Harry puts the sushi in the fridge, suddenly also not feeling hungry. He texts Isaac, and he tells him Julia is to not interact with him anymore.

“Harrryyyy.” You whine from the bedroom. He comes in to meet you.

“Sorry, I was just…textin…Jesus.” You had changed into the lingerie you hadn’t worn during the photoshoot. You had something behind your back.

“You were texting Jesus?” You giggle.

“How do you get more beautiful each time I see you?” A grin grows over your face.

“I have a lot of adrenaline built up.”

“Do you now?”

“Mhm.”

“What’s that behind your back?”

“I think you already know. I had a little chat with Sarah today. You and Niall tend to gossip more than she and I do.” Harry starts to sweat. You blush and toss the cockring to him. “Wanna have a little fun, baby boy?”

He smirks and nods. He puts the little package on the bed and starts to undress. He had never used one before, all he knew was that they made an erection last longer, so he just figured you wanted to go a few rounds tonight. But you had much more in store for him.

#harry styles #take it slow #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles sluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #harry styles angst fic #yall i laughed when i saw this was under 3k im so sorry #i thought it was longer #i just couldn't write the smut man #tomorrow tho he gone get it #come hang in my ask box!

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writingsfromstarfleet · 4 years

Text

A Problem Shared - Julian Bashir X Reader

A/N: To the lovely Anon who asked for this, I thank you, I adore writing for this lil doctor, he’s definitely one of my favourites, it’s any excuse at this point, haha! I sincerely hope you, and everyone else, enjoys! :)x

TW: Mentions of bad mental health, if this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip this one!

Travelling space, seeing the stars, discovering new worlds. All of this to anyone would seem like a dream. And it was, it truly was. Never had you felt more grateful to have the opportunity to study and work in space. Seeking out new planets, carrying out new experiments; it was all in a days work for you, and you couldn't be happier.

Though, while it was truly a blessing to say that this was your job, there were days and weeks where the whole galaxy seemed like it was falling apart.

For years, you had struggled with some issues pertaining to mental health, and it took its toll on you more often than not. Before you enrolled in Starfleet, you had gone through many rough patches, and many unpleasant experiences. The results were lasting, and the damage never seemed to cease. You joined Starfleet, an attempt originally at distracting yourself from your problems, and fell in love with it. After being assigned to Deep Space Nine, you vowed that you would no longer let your internal issues affect you in ways that meant you couldn't do your job.

You'd been on the station for just under a year, and had met and worked with the best set of people this side of the universe. Every single one of them were friends to you, genuine and true friends. Some you were closer to than others, but every one of them meant the world to you. The doctor, Julian Bashir, was one such person who you connected with.

Originally, you found him to be very full on, very facetious. Alas, you realised quickly that you were more or less one in the same. You shared the same interests, had the same sense of humour, and the same palette when it came to food. Slowly but surely, the bond strengthened and before you knew it, you were walking round calling Julian your boyfriend.

That made your situation all the more awkward, and you felt guilty. In the recent days, you hadn't been feeling yourself, and you knew that it was another bad phase that was oncoming, one you had promised yourself you would let in no more. Still, it came. You became quiet, almost avoidant of your peers, which caused them to grow concerned. Not only that, you pushed Julian away, too, spending less time than normal with him. Your friends turned to the good doctor for answers, and were just as shocked to find he had none as he was that you had been avoiding everyone.

Julian didn't understand; you had always been such a happy and free spirit. It was very rare he would ever see you sad, though when he did it was usually a nightmare, or a past memory, or even a bad away mission. All things he helped fix with a good cuddle and words of reassurance. Though, this time, he felt there was something more underneath, he didn't need to be a doctor to see it. This wasn't an ordinary sad spell, and you'd be a fool to try and hide it from him.

All day you sat in your quarters, tears rolling free and fast. You were exhausted, however you weren't sure if it was from the lack of sleep, food, or the amount of crying you had done. Dragging yourself up, you traipsed over to the replicator and grabbed a glass of water and a bagel. Unable to force yourself to eat, you instead sipped on the water, standing against the wall and staring into space, as it were.

The ringing of your door took you out of the trance you were in, and you just stared at it. You couldn't say you were certain who it was, but you had a feeling it was Julian. And if you were honest with yourself, the last thing you needed was a lecture. Feeling bad for even keeping your issues from him, though, your heart decided it was probably best to open the door. Your brain said otherwise, and kept you stood on the spot instead.

"Please, Y/N, don't make me use the override." Hearing his voice sent a rush of calm through you, even in your drained state, and you picked up on the exasperation of his tone. He was stressed. You remembered when he had told you that he wouldn't ever use the override code on your door unless it was absolutely necessary; he saw it as invasion of your privacy. But, even if he did, you couldn't blame him, knowing he must be worried sick.

Silence fell again and the door still hadn't opened. Figuring he had left, you took yourself to your be and wrapped yourself entirely in your blankets, feeling the warmth as somewhat of a comfort. You were between sleep and consciousness, and the sound of the door opening this time caught your attention. You laid still.

"Y/N..." the familiar voice spoke in almost a whisper, and you were met with Julian's concerned face as he knelt before you. You stayed lay down, cocooned within your blanket, and he reached out to run a hand through your hair, concern lacing his face. "What's wrong?"

You sniffed, having no answer. You truly didn't know, you had nothing to say. Your thoughts ran away with themselves, and you felt like you were slipping into past mindsets, something that scared you.

Julian looked down, almost as though he was going to cry himself, and even in your current state, it broke your heart to see. He cared so much, and you still hadn't told him anything.

"Julian," you began, reaching a hand out of the blanket to cup his face. "Come here." It wasn't so much of a statement as a question, your voice hesitant and low. He looked at you with shimmering eyes, and you lifted the blanket up. Julian realised, and climbed in beside you, immediately encasing you in his arms. You buried your head into his chest, arms resting around his middle, and cried. You cried out everything you had left, every single thought and feeling you had running round, and he let you.

Julian knew you needed this, and he lay with you without question. Feeling your crying had ceased, he spoke ever so gently so as not to startle you.

"Y/N-" he began, but you looked up at him and cut him off, not impolitely.

"I should have told you a long time ago," you started, shifting so that Julian could hear your words. "I've struggled with mental health issues for almost ten years now, and I've had a troubled past. Every now and then, it get's bad, really bad. Some days, I can't even leave my bed, some days I can. It hasn't been this bad in over three years, and I got scared, which is why I shut myself off from everyone. I- I panicked, Juli, I didn't know what to do, I-"

You stopped as you felt your head twang in pain and you choked up. Having no tears left to cry, you laid your forehead on his chest again. He stroked the back of your head, running his hand through your hair once more.

"Y/N, listen to me. This, isn't an issue. This isn't something you ever have to deal with alone, it's not a nice experience. You have a great support unit around you, everyone was asking about you and if you were well, you know? They all care. And so do I, as well you know. This breaks my heart to see, the fact that you thought you had to go through this alone. You aren't ever alone."

"I know, but I just didn't want to push my issues on anyone else. I vowed to myself that when I finished at the academy, I wouldn't ever allow these kinds of mindsets to ruin my work ethic, and I guess that didn't work out well, did it?"

Your dry humour made him chuckle; he marvelled at how you handled situations with humour, even when the circumstances were dire.

"You are far too proud, Y/N, you astound me," he chuckled slightly, before returning to his previous seriousness. "In all honesty, you needn't ever have to worry about talking to me with things like this. Not only am I a doctor who's trained to deal with this, I'm your boyfriend, and I love you far too much to let you just suffer. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you com to me? I could have given you a prescription.."

"I- really, I don't know. I just panicked, I never wanted these feelings, these thoughts, to ever come back, and when they did, I didn't know how to react, I'm sorry, Julian."

He wrapped his arms around you again, burying his head into your hair. Kissing the top of your head, he spoke once more, the same softness his voice always carried with you.

"Never apologise, I understand. We are going to work through it, and we are going to be alright. I'll prescribe you something to help in the morning, alright? You have to promise me that this is the last time you struggle alone. Don't hesitate to call on me if you need me, it's why I'm here. I can't stand the thought of you keeping this battle to yourself. We'll win together, we'll get through it. Promise me?"

You managed a smile up at him, your mood already somewhat lifted.

"I promise, thank you, Julian. Somehow, you've always got the right thing to say."

"Anything for the person I love the most. You are never a burden, remember that. A problem shared is a problem halved."

You stayed like that for the night, cuddled into Julian's side as he told you stories of his past ventures to take your mind off things. It worked, and you couldn't have been more thankful. You promised yourself things once again, but this time, you had told yourself you weren't ever going to keep things from Julian. You couldn't break his heart like that.

"I love you, Julian." Your voice was heavy with tiredness, and you felt him smile into your hair.

"And I you, Y/N. I always have, and always will."

You slept that night in content, knowing that any battle you faced was won with Julian by your side. He was your rock, and with him, you were safe.

#tw: mental health #tw: depression #star trek #star trek imagine #star trek x reader #star trek deep space nine #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #ds9 #julian bashir #julian bashir imagine #julian bashir x reader #x reader #imagine

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dungeonofimaginesandheadcanons · 4 years

Photo

I had to. Also, changed it a bit as I went ;)

There was no doubt in her that her father cared and loved her. There was never a day in her life that she didn't love spending time with her father, uncles, and aunts. But there was no denying that sometimes she wished she had someone to spend time with other than her father's entourage.

"You're late, pipsqueak."

Her laughter rang with a bubbly air to it when Judar's complaint reached her ears the moment she turned the corner into their secret meeting space. Though he held a sour look on his face, it seemed to vanish the instant she stuck out a fresh peach in his face.

"Peaches were calling me, Juju. Besides, I brought you some, too."

Judar pouted for a brief moment before huffing and taking the fruit from her hand. "You're lucky I like you."

Yeah, I am.

Befriending the magi was certainly an unexpected outcome for her. It'd happen out of nowhere, frankly. She almost doubled her in age but she swore that talking and teasing him were quite enjoyable times. Judar had been plenty rude during their first meetings, but something about the way he treated her—with no fear of repercussion from her father or the rest of her family—was refreshing enough to come back to try and speak to him again and again. Despite the many failed attempts, she eventually succeeded in befriending the wild magi and she would have never expected to find such a grand friend in the antisocial boy.

"What about pie?" she asked, eating through her own peach as the two sat beside one another. Grabbing the tossing ring they'd been playing with, she tried her best shot at it and pouted at missing.

Judar scoffed and lifted his wand in the air with a circling flare. A ring of ice formed before he tossed it towards the stake in the middle of the garden. "You suck at baking."

"But you eat my stuff, don't you?" she pointed out.

"Only because your food is actually edible unlike Hakuei's."

She gasped, indignantly. "Auntie Ei can cook!"

"Poison." Through chuckles, she playfully shoved at Judar making him miss the ring toss for once. "Hey, don't cheat."

"I'm not cheating." Taking her turn, she tossed only to be interrupted by a flare of ice that shot from his wand and freezing the ring in midair. He broke out in rambunctious laughter at her pouting face but eventually, she joined in with a mild chuckle. "Are you leaving with Auntie Gyoku to Balbadd today?"

The subject changed immediately changed his demeanor as he roughly bit into his peach, smacking as he bit. "Yeah."

Unable to help herself, she let a long drawn out sigh escape her. "It'll be boring without you."

"Damn right, it'll be."

“Don’t give Auntie Gyoku such a hard time, okay?”

“She’ll be the one pulling me around everywhere, watch.”

“Try not to destroy everything.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”

"Don't get lonely without me, okay?"

She expected the usual banter from him of how she'd be the one that would miss out on his presence, but funnily enough, he said nothing in return. Instead of that, he simply sat there eating away at his fruit. The little princess took that as the most forward way that she'd ever know for him to agree. Despite their widely different ages, she and Judar were some kind of kindred spirits in spite of being the complete opposite of each other. Where he was loud and obnoxious, she was quiet and empathetic. Where he was angry and power-hungry, she was calm and calculative. So different and yet the loneliness of not having someone like themselves—he as a magi and her as the princess of the Crown Prince of Kou—brought them together. She wasn't anything special. She wasn't a magician nor a fighter. But she could think her way out of a nasty situation if the occasion arose. Judar could only do so with brute strength and his magic, and ever since becoming what one would call friends with her, relied on her when those situations came around.

"Always have one of those idiots from Kouha's vanguard or one of Kouen's household with you."

"Huh? Where is this coming from?"

Without warning, Judar tossed the peach pit he ended up with as far into the garden as he could. "None ya." Before she had the mind to ask, from far away, she overheard Junjun, Jinjin, and Reirei searching for her not far from where they were. Both rouse knowing that their peaceful time would have to end sooner than they thought. The little princess, however, still wanted to know where Judar's sudden comment came from. Before she could even ask him, however, he pushed her forward with a gale of wind that blew her skirts over her head, letting her long pants show—something she wasn't allowed to wear according to Ka Kobun. By the time she put her skirts and disheveled hair back in place, the trio of magicians found her and immediately threw a fuss over her current state.

Why won't he tell me what's wrong?

On the other side of the palace, Judar languidly landed on the grass not far from where a certain witch and her priests had been apparently waiting. His ruby glare fell upon them the moment Gyokuen gave him a sweet facetious smile.

"My dear Judar, where have you been? We've been searching all over the palace for you?" the empress said.

"Nowhere," he deadpanned. Determined steps took him past the bunch of them but he didn't get far away enough to not hear Gyokuen's next words.

"You depart today, don’t you, Judar?” She feigned a drawn-out sigh. “It’ll truly be lonesome without you here, my boy.” A chuckle escaped her lips, her hand raising to cover the lower half of her face with her sleeve as she laughed. “I suppose I can enjoy some time with my granddaughter. I'm sure with you gone to Balbadd, she'll be so lonely, wouldn’t you say?"

The way Judar slowly stopped in his tracks and turned his head over his shoulder didn't give much away, but the way that his tone dropped and his eyes narrowed upon Gyokuen was more than enough to get the message across. The day she dared touch a hair on the princess's head was the day she lost her life. Enjoying his expression very much, the empress laughed coyly before waving her sleeved hand at him dismissively.

"Now, now, don't give me such a scary face. Of course, that will only be if she wants to spend time with her sweet grandmother. I'm sure that would take much convincing, wouldn't it? Her father more than anyone, really." With another chuckle, she waved again. "Have a safe trip, my dear. We'll see you upon your return."

It was with that that the empress and his priests left Judar be, leaving him along in the grand garden. Heaving a sigh, Judar was intent on making his way to where Kougyoku and Ka Kobun waited for him to depart when a presence stopped him. Giving a sidelong glance, he found Kouen hidden behind the hallway with his back towards the gardens and surely within earshot of what had just occurred.

That piercing red gaze fell upon Judar, both remaining still as could be in that standoff of theirs. It was after a full minute that Kouen finally broke his silence, placing one of his hands on Judar's shoulders as he passed by him.

"Thank you."

Judar froze for a second, blinking once then again. Had he just heard right? Did Kouen just thank him? What the fuck for? Judar clicked his tongue not wanting to entertain such an idiotic idea before turning on his heel to make his way to the Kou Princess and her vassal.

She'll be fine.

Yeah, she would be. With the kind of family the little princess had, there wasn't a doubt in Judar's mind that she'd live through his absence. And if that witch or those priests dared do anything to her, well, they would taste firsthand what kind of destruction an angered magi was capable of.

#judar #judar magi #magi the labyrinth of magic #magi kingdom of magic #magi imagines

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barkadasesh · 3 years

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"SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN YOU"

Jack and Jill were good childhood friends. Their path crosses at the wide woody and wild forests for the very first time. They became friends since then - they treat each other as a family, not by blood but through souls. They had a lot of ups and downs and memories to cherished together yet after some few struggling years, both completed their studies and went apart and take their own paths.

Jack, once called the good boy, achieved his dream profession. It is one of the most diverse and versatile field at engineering - mechanical engineering. And hell yeah! It was really a once in a lifetime career where he designs power-producing machines as well as power using machines. He became one of the most famous mechanical engineers in New York and it provides him strong annual salaries. Despite of being at the highest peak of success, he just continuously frittered away his life and his fortunes taking up an immoral habit of practices such as alcoholic beverages, cigarettes, drugs and he is also a well-known womanizer committing sexual immorality.

At the other side of the globe, jill worked so hard to be able to put forth effort toward a certain goal. And that is to own a vast hectare good for a farm not just for herself but also for the whole community. The planet needs nutritious and affordable food and that requires thoughtful and intelligent people to grow it – and that’s her! She believes that this world needs someone like her. In the fullness of the time, she set specific goals and standards so she can work out her farm. And in just a month of dedicating lingering, it is sufficiently good, enjoyable and successful to repay her effort, trouble and expenses.

Early in the morning, Jack was awake by a loud snooze from his high-pitched alarm clock telling it is already 7 o’clock in the morning. “Argh! Yeah, I know I know!” He scornfully covered his annoyed face by his malleable squared pillow. “Aish! Could you please give me another five more minutes?” He exclaimed resentfully. He slightly crumpled his eyes while yawning stretching his arms wide open before he turned off his blatant clock. He went back lethargically like he is pulling of his king-sized bed. He lie down once again on his crib but as soon as reach the climax of his fantastic dream, a very rambunctious bang from his door makes him stood and jumped out of his cradle. “Now what?” he said ostensible. “Son! I think you should stand on end now.” It is his dad who summons him on the other side of his bedroom’s entryway. “Come on dad, can you please knock?” he responded annoyingly while scratching his head. “Come on son! It is already 7 o’clock early in the morning. Are you just going to take a load off and fucked up the rest of your day today?” “Yeah, whatever dad!” He no longer waited his dad to counter his immature reply then he shut down the door then started fixing his self for another sunrise-to-sunset working day.

Same time of that busy day, Jill woke up early before daybreak to get ready to grind for another productive day at his hustling farm. She ascertained that she will be doing good today in managing all the works in the land for its maximum fertility. So that, when the crop ripen, they can orderly harvest it by hand, combine or mechanical pickers. “Today is the day to lead and guide ‘em in caring the crops!” She exclaimed. “Good morning Miss J!” greeted by Juan, a young maintenance and repair boy who is responsible for upkeeping the farm. “I did tighten the loose fences.” he reported. He is sharp as tack in many kinds of labor that’s why Jill trusted him so much. “Wow! Job well done, Juan!” she complimented. “Day by day, you’re doing better. Keep it up, kiddo!” She smiled at him then proceed at inset.

“WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU JACK?! YOU’RE NOT GIVIN’ A DAMN TO YOUR WORK ANYMORE!” YOU ARE NOT LIKE THAT BEFORE. YOU WERE ONCE THE MOST SENSIBLE AND WELL ARTISAN BEFORE!” shouted by Jack’s officer-in-charge directly to his frowning face with a sharp glare towards his boss. So obvious that he is suffocated by the scenario. “I apologize but I think you cannot feasible this project anymore. You are fired.” “You can’t do this to me freaking old man.” He rebuttals. “Yeah we can. Why not?” giving him a smirk before walking away from Jack. “Let us see if you will survive that fuckin’ stupid project without me and my power.” he mumbled as he left the company. After he got fired, he recured from life-threatening vices. And that’s how he spent his life. Days, weeks and months had passed and his life is becoming worst until he loathed his continual nonsense practice and decided to have an out of town to take a break to a place with a peaceful ambiance. He immediately packed his things up and started driving.

“How I wish I could be that young good child again.” he bleakly chuckled as he lay down on his bed at vacation house. “Oh well, gonna spend these weeks with a chill.” he sighed and head to nearby coffee shop. “1 Caffè Americano, please. Thank you!” then he handed they payment. “Kindly wait for a moment at this table, sir. Thank you!” and the polite barista guided him to his table. As he sat down while scrolling through his smartphone, he suddenly heard a gleeful voice from the counter. “Good morning, Miss J. I’ve been waiting for my fair-haired customer today!” “HAHAHA, still a facetious young boy. Please give me a Blonde Vanilla Latte.” she replied with an over the moon. “Aye! Aye, Miss!”. Unexpectedly, Jack was surprised to hear the voice, he known it very well. He peeked at the lady waiting at the counter and he is more wonder-stricken to saw who it was. “Jill?!” he exclaimed aloud. “Jack? Its been years! Hey how you doing pal?” giving an expressions of pleasure as she saw and walk towards the directions of Jack. “Oh well hi. You look gorgeous right now. You are no longer that crybaby girl just like the old days.” he responds with an unbelief tone. “Uhm, I am already a mechanical engineer. Didn’t you hear some news and articles about me? I am one of the most popular identity at New York.” he continued. “Ooooh! Cool! Well, here I am. I already owned and managed a farm in this town. Wanna come and take some visit? Guess you’re on a vacay?” said by Jill with a convincing tone. “Farm? What an inferior profession. But, sure! Lemme see your farm.” stating it with full of indignity.

Jack offered a ride on their way to the farm. “So, tell me, what are you doing in a place such as this, your majesty?” he asked while looking directly at the uneven surface of the road. “Oh well, I found my purpose here. I enjoyed here. That’s why I stayed here for good.” respond by Jill without even looking at Jack. “Purpose, eh. What a concept?” “Yeah! Purpose. The reason or feeling of being determined to do or achieve something. If you dig deeper, through that purpose I am capable to make others happy. Spending time as much as possible with them to make this world a better place.” Jill explained with full of hope. “Corny! What we have here in this world is nothing but an unfair system and toxic people around us. You had to trust no one. Because in the end of the day, you only have yourself.” Jack looked at Jill like he knows what’s right. “In the end of the day, it is you who will believe in yourself, in what you have, and in what you can do. Because no one was truly concern about you. It’s you, all by yourself. If I were you, you should take my advice. I’ve been there.” he continued. “Well, I cannot blame you with that. You had a good point anyway. Now tell me, what are you doing in a place like this Mr. Engineer?” A moment of silence enwrapped inside the car between the two. “I’m having a break.” he started. “A break? From what?” inquisition of Jill while sipping on her coffee. “I am on my downfall as of this moment.” obviously averting the dialogue. “Come on, spill it. I can lend an ear, just like the old days back then.” Jack too a deep breath then started to tell the whole story. “It was really a fantasy when I achieved my dream profession, which is to be a mechanical engineer. All my life, I worked hard for it. I spend my whole life for it. Yet, the worst part of here was when I started to lose from track. I used to take vices such as alcoholic beverages, multiple boxes of cigarettes and drugs. I also used to be involved in multiple times of wrong relationship full of immorality. I became a womanizer and a heartbreaker. I no longer find my purpose. It seems that I am living my own selfish ways. Little by little, my life was ruined. And now, I don’t have any idea on how will I started again from the very beginning, on how will I fix everything. And yeah, that’s how my life went.” He narrated hopelessly. “I see. I guess that was really a sad ending. But, you know what, despite of what had happened to you, there’s still hope. I guess you just need to take some time to evaluate yourself and to check something out from those painful experiences. And yeah, you’re right when you told me that at the end of the day, you only have yourself. My tip, take this opportunity to heal, my dear friend. You have to help and lift yourself up. And don’t you worry. I am still here to believe in you. I know you can do that and become the better version of yourself. You just have to be patient and work it out.” Jill recommended believing that she can convinced Jack. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll try.” “Don’t try, do it.” And again, silence engulf inside the car between them.

Days and weeks had roll down, and Jack follow all the tips and advises of Jill. He started to evaluate his self. Separating right things that gives value to his life and surrendering negative habits that deteriorating his life. He also cut off his connections to those ladies that leads him to sin. Jill helps her to brings out the best in him, finding his purpose and creates a better vision. Then, it started his life to change from nothing to something, from zero to hero, from better to best.

"You know what, dear, sometimes, we don't need to have a luxurious life and luxurious things just to make ourselves happy. I had realized that sometimes, what we really need is someone who will believes in us and respects us. And, thank you for being one, Jill. Because of you, I found my purpose and I had a changed life better than my life before. I know God allowed us to meet again intentionally so that I'll be no longer slave to sin. You are just not a friend, but a family who truly cares. I owe you so much. How can I pay you for this?" Jack asked Jill." Pay it forward, Jack. Just pay it forward. Do to others what I have done to you." and Jill gave her sweetest smile. Few months later after their encounter, Jack went home." Good morning dad! I miss you!" he hugs his dad so tight that seems to be the first time." Dad, I just want to ask for forgiveness for what I have done before. I promise to be better this time. I love you dad!" Then, Mr. Johnson hugged him back, "I am so happy you're back again, son. You're forgiven." After that day, his relationship with his dad was restored and Jack was now back right on track. He spent his life doing the right things, multiplying his self to others. And that's how he made his own legacy.

(Short Story by Claire Montero)

#BarkadaSesh #StayConnected

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originalhybridloverfics · 4 years

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Eda’s Robot, Serkan’s Fairy Girl - Prompt: You’re Family - Part 2

Summary: Serkan and Eda have dinner with Aydan.

A/N: So this is a continuation of the last prompt.

I apologize for any mistakes grammar or otherwise.

Aydan looked up at the sound of approaching steps, her first reaction was to greet her son with a welcoming smile but faltered, her smile dimming as Eda walked beside him in her simple clothing a black tank top and white cut-off shorts paired with a jean jacket, her hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

The girl's fashion was too lacking in her opinion.

“Eda,” Aydan forced a smile. “I believe I made it quite clear that dinner is a family affair.”

“Then there is no reason Eda shouldn’t join us tonight,” Serkan interjected. “She’s with me. I think that makes her family enough.”

Aydan looked at her son not liking the way he looked at her as if he was daring her to argue with him. “Of course.”

Eda reached out and deliberately took Serkan’s hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and raising their hands, pressing a kiss to the engagement ring Serkan still wore.

Aydan’s eyes narrowed on their hands and forced herself not to react.

“Thank you for having me.” Eda smiled sweetly. “Now that we will be seeing more of each other without any false pretenses I think it's an excellent time for us to get to know each other better. The way Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law should.”

“Seyfi!” Aydan calls out loudly, forcing her smile to stay in place.

Seyfi appeared at her side.

“I need something to drink. Now.” Aydan all but ordered.

Seyfi nodded and was gone, he was back by the time Serkan and Eda took their seats. Serkan moving his chair closer to Eda’s.

“Eda, it is so good to see you,” Seyfi greeted while pouring Aydan a glass of wine.

“It’s good to see you, too.” Eda smiled at him.

“You will be seeing much more of Eda,” Serkan held Eda’s hand atop the table in his mother’s view.

Aydan lifted her glass to her lips taking a large drink but she nearly spat it out when she saw the fake engagement ring glinting on Eda’s finger. “Why do you wear the facetious engagement ring?!” She demanded. “The contract is over is it not? There is no need to carry on the charade of a future wedding.”

Eda looked at Serkan, wondering if he wanted to be the one to tell his mother.

Serkan lifted their clasped hands and pressed his lips against Eda’s inner wrist before addressing his mother who was glowering at the show of affection. “Contract is over but we are engaged to be married. For real this time.”

Seyfi listened with rapt attention, fighting back a smile.

Aydan burst out laughing. “You are funny, Serkan. I see Eda’s strange humor is rubbing off on you.”

Serkan looked at his mother straight-faced. “I am serious, mom. This is not a joke. Eda and I love each other. We are to be married.”

“Have you lost your mind, Serkan?!” Aydan demanded. “You have only been dating for a few months. This is too soon. Too fast.”

“It’s not. Not for me.” Serkan shook his head. “I’ve wasted so much time already with my games and I am done playing them.” He turned and looked at Eda who smiled back at him. “I’m not gonna waste another moment.”

Eda smiled reaching her hand up to cup his jaw, uncaring that his mother was watching him. “You make me very happy, Serkan Bolat.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss.

Aydan gasped at the display, exclaiming to herself.

Serkan pulled back smiling at Eda, his thumb brushing across her bottom lip. “So addictive,” he murmured.

Eda blushed, her blood running hot at his words and his kiss.

He pressed another quick kiss to her lips before turning to his mother. “Furthermore, when Eda leaves for Italy, I will be accompanying her.”

Seyfi gasped a smile beaming on his face as he handed Aydan a glass of wine.

Aydan down the glass instantly and held the glass at for Seyfi to refill it. Seyfi did and took a seat next to Aydan, beaming at Serkan and Eda at the news of Eda and Serkan taking the trip to Italy together.

“What do you mean, you are going to Italy? What business do you have there?” Aydan demanded. “Can’t you wait here for her return?”

“Eda being there is the only reason I need. I am not going to spend months away from Eda, nor do I want to,” Serkan stated. “I bought a house where Eda and I will live in Italy. I will be opening an office in Italy and I already have many resumes coming in.”

“What about your office here?” Aydan protested. “And the holding? You have responsibilities Serkan, you can’t just uproot your life for a flower girl.”

“Enough, Eda is more than a flower girl and it is about time you treat her with the respect she deserves mother,” Serkan said, his temper getting the best of him. He hated whenever anyone disrespected Eda.

“It’s okay.” Eda squeezed his hand before pulling it out of his.

“No, it is not and I won’t permit anyone to treat you so disrespectfully.” Serkan leveled his mother with a look. “I want you to treat her with the same respect you would want to be treated with.”

“Serkan,” Eda reached out and placed her hand on his leg. “I appreciate you standing up for me but I am more than capable of speaking for myself.”

Eda turned to Aydan. “I know you think I’m going to ruin Serkan’s life because you don’t think I’m not fit to be with him. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I make Serkan’s life better. When I met him he was obsessed with his work, he didn’t smile and he was stress all the time and now he’s happy, he’s passionate about what he does. He smiles, he really smiles and laughs and he knows how to relax more. Can you honestly tell me you can’t support a relationship that is good for not only your son’s health but makes him truly happy?”

Aydan wasn’t sure she ever heard Eda speak so passionately before and the light in her eyes when she spoke of her son, shined like a star. Aydan wasn’t so set in her ways that she couldn’t see the truth in Eda’s words.

She saw the changes in Serkan, he was happy in a way she has never seen before and she can see it was good for him. Ultimately, what she wanted most for her son was for him to be happy.

“Serkan, is this what you really want?” Aydan asked her son.

“It is. I can’t imagine life without her and I need you to accept that.” Serkan said, wrapping his arm around Eda and tugging her into his side.

Eda snuggled into his side, her hand landing on his torso, fisting in his shirt.

Aydan downed her second glass of wine and breathed out slowly. “Okay, I suppose I should make an effort to give this a chance.” She looked at Eda. “To get to know you.”

“I don’t expect you to start to like me over night,” Eda said. “I do expect you to respect my and Serkan’s relationship because I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re going to Italy.” Aydan reminded.

“I meant, I won’t be leaving Serkan. As much as Serkan can’t live without me the same is true for me. Serkan makes me happier than I ever been and I have no plans of ever letting that go.” Eda looked up at Serkan her eyes shining with love. “He’s my partner.”

Serkan smiled, ducking his head to press a kiss to her cheek.

“How long will you be in Italy? Are you going to marry while there? Will you be coming back?” Aydan asked a wave of sadness hit her. She felt like she was losing her son.

“We will be there for the duration of Eda’s last year of University and then we will be returning home and we will decide then if we will live here, or buy a new house to symbolize the start of our lives together,” Serkan answered.

Aydan did not fail to notice that he did not say where they would be married. “Can I expect to see your union on the news?”

“Of course not,” Eda leaned forward, looking at Aydan reassuringly. “When Serkan and I marry, I want our families to be there. We will not marry before returning home from Italy.”

“Good,” Aydan was relieved. “Then if both of you are sure of your decision and your love, I would like to help plan the wedding and I would like it if you would have it here. I want to attend my son’s wedding.”

Serkan reached across the table, covering his mother’s hand. “I wouldn’t have any other way.”

Aydan smiled, turning her hand in his and squeezing it and she reached across and took a hold of Eda’s hand. “If we are to be family I should start calling you by your name, then, Eda Yildiz.”

Eda laughed, her eyes shining with kindness. “That would be a nice change.”

Seyfi beamed widely, his hand coming to rest on his chest. "This is the best news I've heard."

Eda smiled at him in appreciation.

Serkan smiled, glad his mother was trying. It meant more to him than she knew. He released his mother's hand, settling back in his seat, tugging Eda into him once again and pressing a kiss into her neck, breathing her in.

Eda snuggled into Serkan, her hand resting over his chest, feeling every thump of his heart against her palm.

Hopefully, the building of their family and life will be smooth sailing from here on out but even if it’s not Serkan and Eda were ready to fight to keep what they have together.

A/N: I hope you like this one.Thanks for reading!

#sen cal kapimi #edser #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #eda and serkan #edser fic #edser prompts #fanfic

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yadds · 4 years

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Another Geraskier Fix-it Fic, Part 2 Jaskier tells Geralt to fuck off, Geralt is forced into some self-reflection.

Part 1

I was going to wait until I finished this to post the rest, but that’s gonna be in approx. 3 million years at this point, so here’s part 2 if anyone is still interested. Should only be one part left after this since I actually have an ending in mind!

Geralt was jostled from his meditation by a foot to the side of his head. He whirled around and caught the ankle, yanking until the perpetrator fell to the floor with a squawk. He had a knife to a throat before he realized it was Jaskier, hands up defenselessly and eyes wide.

He tsked and released him.

“Excuse me,” Jaskier said indignantly as he sat up, wincing, and brushed his hands across his bare back, which had been dragged across the dusty floor in the scuffle. “You’re annoyed at me? I don’t even rightly know what’s going on right now! I woke up and was just trying to get out of bed! What did you expect to happen when you took up post there like some looming lurker?”

“You seem to be feeling better,” Geralt muttered.

“I can’t even tell; my bladder is about to explode and I literally cannot even think about anything else. So if you would kindly move your arse, I would like to fix that particular problem.”

Huffing, Geralt shifted to the side to allow Jaskier to go and relieve himself.

Jaskier was soon collapsing back onto the bed with a sigh. “In answer to your non-question, yes, I am feeling better. Thank you for pretending you care. You’ve fulfilled whatever bizarre obligation you seem to have felt so please feel free to leave. Preferably without soul-searing insults this time, but that’s honestly up to you.”

Geralt scowled as he watched Jaskier watch the ceiling, one arm thrown over his forehead and partially obscuring his view.

“You never answered me,” he said gruffly.

Jaskier’s head tilted minutely in his direction. “You’ll have to remind me what exactly I didn’t answer. My memory of our conversation while I was bleeding out is a bit vague,” he said acerbically.

“Those men,” Geralt clarified. When he saw Jaskier open his mouth with an expression of exasperation, Geralt continued. “You said they were after me.”

Jaskier nodded, peering through his fingers up at the ceiling again.

He didn’t offer any more information. Gritting his teeth, Geralt mustered all the patience he could and asked for it. “Why? And why are they after you?”

“Oh yes, I’m starting to remember now - I told you already that I. Don’t. Know,” Jaskier sneered. “I have no idea who those men were.”

“Stop the bullshit!” Geralt finally barked. “You also implied this was a regular occurrence. What the hell is going on, Jaskier?”

Jaskier continued glowering. Just as Geralt was ready to start physically demanding answers, Jaskier suddenly turned so that he was fully facing Geralt.

“Okay. Fine. You want to get into this? Alright. This has been going on for years, Geralt. People have been trying to kidnap, kill, or maim me to get to you for years. Not the same people - sometimes it’s hired hands for rich people you’ve pissed off, sometimes it’s people that don’t want you stopping them from doing something, and sometimes it’s random folk that just don’t like you.”

Geralt felt as though he had ice water coursing through his veins, freezing the breath in his lungs and slowing his heart to a sluggish crawl.

“Most of the time, I don’t have a clue who or why unless they’re successful,” Jaskier continued.

Suddenly the ice in his blood was seared to steam by the raging fury that overtook him at the thought. “The fuck does that mean?” Geralt growled.

“Oh, yes, I’ve been in some pretty precarious situations, my friend,” Jaskier pressed cruelly, noting how each new piece of information wound Geralt tighter. “Been attacked more times than I can count. Although, to be fair, I don’t know how many of those were just because I am such a delight to all those around me and how many were thanks to you. I’ve been kidnapped at least 3 or 4 times. That’s never enjoyable but has ended up being surprisingly relatively benign,” he mused.

Geralt was trembling, strung tight enough to snap.

“Oh relax,” Jaskier said, rolling his eyes. “I never tell them anything.” He rolled back to stare at the ceiling again, arms folded behind his head, appearing to tire of his game. “I can withstand a lot more than you might think.”

“Why?” he rasped.

Jaskier shrugged. “Well most of the time I actually don’t know anything since you usually just ditch me with not a word of where I could find you again even if I needed to. But also because I’m not a heartless bastard; I used to consider us very good friends, you know. I would never do anything that might cause you harm. You do so much more good in this world than I do so if I had to sacrifice you to save myself…well, I’m not that kind of selfish.”

The sound that punched out of Geralt at the thought was choked and miserable. “Jaskier,” he croaked, then stopped, unable to find the words to continue.

Jaskier turned his gaze back to Geralt again, a delighted, malicious grin stealing across his face. “Oh, my,” he crowed. “Does it hurt, Geralt? To know someone has suffered for you?”

“Yes,” he hissed, eyes narrow and intent on the bard perched above him. His hand lifted briefly towards Jaskier before he dropped it to fist in his lap.

“Good,” Jaskier replied simply. His clenched jaw and the fire in his eyes belied the casual tone.

Geralt flinched slightly before lashing out. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Jaskier quickly rolled back towards him, pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, looking down at Geralt, still seated on the floor, with contempt. “My problem?” he parroted incredulously. “You rip out my heart and tear it to shreds for no gods damned reason and I’m the one with the problem? I’m sorry, was I supposed to just roll over and take it? Beg for more?”

Geralt’s glare intensified. “What bullshit are you spouting now? I haven’t even seen your godsforsaken face in a year.”

“Were you dropped on your head sometime in the past year? Gotten amnesia or dementia of some sort? I feel like I should ask because this could be a legitimate issue before assuming - No?” Jaskier asked facetiously before continuing. “Okay, so you’re just willfully misremembering the way you very sincerely wished me out of your life? I’ve done my part and stayed out of your way! Yet here you are, still...maligning me.”

Geralt scoffed, immediately knowing that was the wrong thing to do but unable to stop. “That’s not anywhere near the worst thing I’ve said to you.”

He saw the muscle in Jaskier’s jaw jump repeatedly, accentuating the slight tremor in his chin as he took a long moment before responding quietly. “True. But that was the first time I knew beyond a doubt that you really meant it. Also, the fact that you think that’s a justification just proves what a fool I was to follow you for as long as I did.”

The silence that followed was oppressive and suffocating.

When Geralt made no move to refute, or even acknowledge, the accusations, the renewed expression of disappointment on Jaskier’s face hit him like a forging hammer to the chest.

Jaskier’s mouth opened as if to say something, but all that came out was a heavy sigh before his lips pressed together tight. He pushed himself off the bed, face drawn and shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Well, thanks for saving my life yet again. I hope you don’t mind if I steal a drink before I’m off,” Jaskier said with forced nonchalance as he stumbled the two steps across the room to a pitcher on the small table.

Geralt looked up when he heard the clangor of the cup clattering against the pitcher, both trembling and unsteady in Jaskier’s grip. As water sloshed against his front, Jaskier slammed them both back down onto the table, breathing sharply through his nose in frustration.

Standing silently, Geralt stepped close and gently grabbed the cup from Jaskier. Before he had grasped the pitcher, Jaskier snatched the cup back. “I can pour my own damn drink, Geralt!” he snarled.

“Of course,” he agreed as he stepped back. His eyes traced the tense lines of Jaskier’s back as he fumbled to get enough water into the cup for a long draught, somewhat surprised by the definition of hard muscle just visible beneath a shallow layer of softness.

Jaskier turned and brushed past Geralt to get to the door. Geralt grabbed his arm. “Jaskier.”

“What?” he replied curtly, still facing the door.

“Stay,” he said gruffly.

“No. I don’t wish to add to my debt to you.”

“Since when do you care about such things?” Geralt asked mockingly.

“Since we’re not friends,” Jaskier bit out.

Geralt’s grip tightened with the pang of annoyance that pierced through him. He quickly released his hand when he heard Jaskier hiss softly.

“You’re in no condition to be out there alone,” he said, frustrated with Jaskier’s stubbornness.

“Who says I’m alone?” Jaskier replied. “Believe it or not, there are others who don’t find me so despicable.” He watched as Jaskier stopped briefly to rummage through Geralt’s saddlebags to take one of his shirts, turning and showing Geralt quite pointedly that he was taking it, daring him to say something about it.

For once, there were many things Geralt wanted to say, ranging from groveling apologies to scathingly cruel remarks that made his previous ones sound like fucking love letters. But he remained silent as Jaskier turned and opened the door, jumbles of jagged words clamoring against the back of his teeth, shoved down his throat until he could scarcely breathe.

Pausing, Jaskier looked back once more, eyes tracing Geralt’s features. “Goodbye, Geralt.”

Nothing had ever sounded so devastatingly final.

Geralt left the inn with the rising sun, body still humming with pent up tension.

Not knowing where Jaskier was or who he was with became Geralt’s newest form of personal torture.

He would have stayed with Jaskier, traveled with him again, kept him safe. He didn’t like feeling responsible for Jaskier’s hardships. But apparently Jaskier’s pride was more important than his safety. Fucking idiot.

He grit his teeth, hands clenching. Roach snorted and shook her head, making Geralt loosen his too-tight grip on her reins. “Sorry, girl,” he murmured.

He dismounted and prowled beside her, unable to stomach sitting idle with his fuming thoughts.

What right did Jaskier have to punish him? For all of his extravagant overtures of devotion, Jaskier was the one who left. And all it took was a few unkind words. It certainly hadn’t been the first time he’d lashed out at Jaskier when his frustrations had lain elsewhere. He wasn’t proud of how he’d acted, but it was far from the worst thing he’d done in the decades that they’d traveled together. What kind of ‘friendship’ could be shattered by something so trivial?

Geralt spent the next mile attempting to force his mind into silence. He was unsuccessful like he hadn’t experienced since he’d first become a witcher all those years ago, his thoughts roiling and ranting violently.

Geralt was not stupid - he knew that a distraction such as this would only result in a quick, needless death while on The Path. Fortunately, he was also not a coward. If this required putting thought to the...feelings he was experiencing, he would do it.

Geralt mounted Roach, trusting her to keep the path and warn him of any conspicuous threats. He squared his shoulders as he turned his focus inwards.

Putting a name to the emotions that were clamoring below the surface was a trying task for one who only experienced pale shades of their human counterparts. He approached each tangle of sentiment marring the dreary landscape of his inner mind, prepared to unravel it, acknowledge it, and move the fuck on. There was anger, yes, that he was all too familiar with. Some hurt, he supposed, if he had to admit it. But the biggest beast was a deep-seated sense of betrayal.

The realization made him snarl; betrayal to this extent wasn’t possible without a level of trust that he thought himself incapable of. How could he be so fucking stupid? Geralt was forced to acknowledge that Jaksier had, despite his valiant efforts to keep him at arms length, insinuated himself as the closest anything came to a permanent fixture in Geralt’s life. He’d trusted Jaskier in a way he’d not done since he’d been a boy, been so unquestionably sure of Jaskier’s loyalty.

And he fucking knew better. Nothing was permanent and nobody could truly be trusted. How many times must he learn that gods damned lesson in his endlessly long life? Apparently at least once more, it seemed.

Fury reared its head once more, searing through his nerves until he could think of nothing else. Partially at Jaskier, at destiny, at this shithole of a Continent. But mostly at himself.

But self-castigation was of no use to him. He drew a deep breath and pushed through it, finding that he was once again placing his misdirected anger firmly on Jaskier’s shoulders, something he’d been doing so long that he didn’t even think about it.

Perhaps he’d been needlessly cruel for too long. Jaskier was an easy target, one who would take a beating with nothing but a cheeky comeback or sullen silence. And wasn’t that on Jaskier, not standing up for himself? Perhaps a little, but no, he had to admit that this was his own shortcoming. It only incensed him further to realize just how much he’d taken advantage of...yes, his friend. If he had ever had a single friend in his life, it would have been Jaskier.

But despite his self-involvement and constant reparation of the thick stone walls protecting his inner self from the rest of the world, Jaskier had grown like weeds through any cracks in the mortar. Though he’d stopped the spread, the sprouts of greenery stubbornly remained in the endless brown and gray of dirty stone, demanding his attention. And as the mulish weeds started to finally die, the color fading, Geralt was forced to recognize the beauty of a bit of color in a colorless life.

Just another story of too little too late.

_______________________________________________________________________

So you’d think quarantine would be the optimal time for writing, but I’m finding I have less time/energy than ever between keeping up with a 3 year old and a 1 year old that are cooped up inside while trying to work from home and not neglect our little bit of husband/wife time.

Not having any time to myself is the hardest part of all this for me (for which I’m so incredibly grateful, that that’s my biggest problem) and makes me want to just curl up and do nothing the few moments I’m able to steal for myself. So, plan on me being EVEN SLOWER THAN USUAL. Yes, that’s possible. And it’s happening.

Despite my complaining, things in general are good for us - Husband and I have job security, are continuing to get paid normally, and have bosses that understand our need to juggle family/work balance, and we’re all in good health.

Stay safe and well out there, y’all, both physically and mentally, as much as you can!

#gratuitous use of the word fuck #badass!jaskier #jaskier is not a damsel in distress #they're both assholes #angst #geralt #jaskier #fic #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #geraskier fic #geraskier #yadds writes

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buckthegrump · 5 years

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Late One Night

Summary: That old saying of ‘one night could change your life’? Turns out whoever said that was right. Painfully so. Werewolf!Steve x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, panic attack, fluff, clinical and robotic smut, very minor angst (let me know if i’ve forgotten anything)

Word Count: 5348

A/n: for @moonstruckbucky ‘s Halloween writing challenge my prompt was werewolf AU (sorry it’s not a spooky as it could be)

It was mid-September and the weather was finally cooling down after a brutal summer. The night sky was clear and the full moon hung low in the sky. There was a crispness to the air making it just cold enough to need a jacket, something Y/n was grateful for.

She’d gotten off work late, she was about three blocks from her place when she heard a howl that sounded a lot like a wolf. Which she found odd because there were no wolves around where she lived.

Ignoring the odd noise she continued walking but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a growl from the woods that lined the street. It sounded close, but there was no reason to be afraid. Right? The woods were more like a park, it had a trail and even had a playground. There shouldn’t be any animals that growl like that in there, and yet.

Y/n only stopped for a moment before she kept walking. Her pace was slow as if she could become invisible if she just kept her movements small and inconspicuous.

The snarl sounded again and the next thing she knew a force knocked her to the ground. Despite the fact that the moon was bright, she couldn’t see what was attacking her. Nothing was clear all she was sure of was that everything hurt. Her head had hit the concrete hard, she’d landed on her arm wrong and was sure it was broken, and there was the thing that was attacking her causing more pain to flare up in different parts of her body.

She tried to open her mouth to scream for help but all that came out were gasps. She couldn’t tell how long the attack lasted. But when she was finally left alone she knew she was going to die.

Every breath hurt. She wondered if it would stop hurting if she simply stopped breathing but every time she exhaled her body automatically inhaled again. She could hear herself wheezing. Suddenly the one brisk night felt so much colder like someone had just dropped her in the middle of the arctic ocean.

‘I’m going to die here alone,’ she thought to herself.

But then she saw glowing eyes looking at her from the trees. Unable to decide if she wanted the animal that was staring at her to finish her off or leave her alone she took what she was sure would be her last breath.

It was probably her brain playing tricks on her, but she could’ve sworn she watched a wolf walk out of the wood and transform into a man. She watched the man walk closer to her as her eyelids finally closed.

Steve loved his wolf form. It was strong and though it was slightly bigger than the rest of his packs form, he was fast.

Being the night of the full moon the entire pack was out moseying about in their wolf forms with strict instructions to keep themselves hidden, they didn’t need humans digging their nose into the pack's business.

Being the alpha, it was Steve’s job to make sure that people didn’t find out about the pack’s secret.

It was around midnight when he heard it, the sound of someone getting attacked, he knew that running towards whatever was happening as a wolf was a dangerous feat but he sprinted towards it.

The attacker must have heard him coming because when he got tot he source of the noise there was a woman lying on the ground bloodied and bruised. Her breathing was shallow and her heartbeat sounded weak. But there was something about her scent that made Steve pause. He should’ve left here there, but that wasn’t who Steve was.

He quickly switched forms and walked up to the woman, her eyes met his before the closed.

Making a rash decision that was sure to piss off Bucky, his second, he picked up the almost dead woman and ran back to the pack house.

The only person left at the house was the pack doctor, Bruce. He didn’t say anything as Steve walked into the house and laid the victim on the exam table in the medical room.

Thanks to Tony, one of the pack members, they had a state of the art medical facility in their home. It was where everyone was forced to go if they got badly injured, and where Bruce operated from. He merely sighed before looking her over and assessing her injuries.

Steve didn’t know why, but he was nervous. And it wasn’t what Bucky or Sam would say that was making him nervous. It was that he truly thought that she was going to die and he could not for the life of him figure out why he cared so much.

Bruce was just about to open his mouth to say something when Bucky burst through the door.

Bucky took one look at the mangled woman on the exam table then looked to Steve.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Bucky asked.

Steve rolled his eyes. Other alphas wouldn’t have let anyone in their pack, other than their mate, to speak to them like Bucky currently was. But Steve had never been that kind of leader, the only time he gave a direct order was when it was needed.

“Bucky not now -”

“No, now.” Bucky paused and sniffed to confirm his suspicions. “You brought a human into our home, Steve. She could find out and expose us. You’ve just put the whole pack in danger! Did you stop to think about what would happen when she was all healed up and awake?”

“No,” he admitted, “But it doesn’t really matter because she might die.”

“Oh even better,” Bucky said facetiously, “not only will we have a dead girl on our hands but a situation that looks like you were the one to kill her.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” Steve said, even though he knew that was a lie.

“Ya know what? I don’t think I am,” Bucky snapped.

“I couldn’t just leave here there!” Steve growled turning to Bucky who instantly shut up. Steve took a deep breath then tried again. “I couldn’t just leave her there. I will handle it -”

“It actually looks like she’s not going to die,” Bruce spoke up. Both Steve and Bucky turned to the lower-ranking wolf, “I’m not sure how quickly or what kind of permanent damage has been done but, if she makes it through the rest of the night, she’ll be ok.”

Bucky nodded then turned to Steve. “You better hope that she didn’t see anything or is really good at keeping a secret.”

It was pushing 3 am when the rest of the pack made their way home. They all had similar reactions to their new houseguest as Bucky but almost all of them kept their temper under control. The only reason Steve knew what they were thinking was because he could read it on their faces. The only other person to say anything was Natasha.

“What happens if she dies?” Was all she asked.

“I will handle it,” he told her just like he’d told Bucky. Natasha rolled her eyes and walked away.

Steve hadn’t moved from the room where the woman was. He stood there hovering over her like he was her protector. Bruce came in for the third time that night at about 3:30 with Bucky right behind him.

Bruce turned to his alpha with a look on his face.

“The good news is, she’s going to make it,” Bruce said but there was something about the way he said it.

“You say that like there’s bad news along with that,” Bucky grumbled.

Steve shifted as Bruce looked back at the woman. She was lying in bed with a blanket covering her to offer some privacy

“Well, there’s definitely more news -”

“Spit it out, Bruce,” Steve said with a bit of authority in his voice.

“She’s healing at a rapid rate,” Bruce said quietly but both men heard him.

“How rapid?” Steve asked he could feel Bucky tense up next to him.

“Her injuries will be completely gone by noon,” Bruce said.

The woman shifted slightly in her slumber and all three men froze, when she continued to lay there unconscious, then let out a collective breath. Bucky started chuckling.

“Please tell me it wasn’t you,” Bucky said still chuckling.

“It wasn’t me,” Steve answered. When Bucky continued to chuckle Steve looked at him. “Take a walk, Barnes.”

Bucky didn’t argue as he walked out of the room. It was quiet in the room, the only sound was the beeping of the heart monitor.

“When do you think she’ll wake up?” Steve asked.

Bruce shrugged. “Could only be a few more hours it’s hard to say.”

“If she wakes before I do please come get me, I think the news of her new life might come better from me.”

Bruce nodded and Steve finally left the room and walked up the stairs to his room.

Y/n woke up in an unfamiliar place, it wasn’t the first time it had happened. However, it was the first time she’d woken up in a place that somehow felt like someone’s home and a hospital at the same time.

Everything was way too bright and she could hear a heartbeat, no, two heartbeats. No, more. But when she tried to count the different heartbeats a beeping noise interrupted her thoughts, it was rhythmic and annoying.

She took in her surroundings and found a man sitting next to her. He was watching her very carefully and it was spooking her a little bit but she wasn’t about to let him know that.

“Who are you?” She asked, her voice a little groggy.

“Who are you?” He asked back.

“Pretty sure I asked you first,” she told him and he scoffed.

“Bucky,” a commanding voice came from the doorway and Y/n turned to him. There was something about his blonde hair and demeanor that was oddly familiar to her. The man next to her bed, Buck apparently, stood and walked out of the room. The new man walked into the room. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine I guess but that thing is so fucking loud,” she said pointing to the heart monitor.

He turned the volume off giving her some relief to the headache she was forming.

“Thank you,” she said. “Who are you? And where am I?”

“I’m Steve,” he told her with a soft smile. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

“I remember getting off late from work and then hearing a wolf which is weird because there aren’t any wolves around here unless werewolves are real. Then I heard something growl from the park and attack me and I-” Y/n looked up at the man who she now remembered from last night. “Oh fuck.”

“What?”

“Werewolves are real and you’re one, aren’t you?” Before he could answer she continued. “Wait, was the attack really only last night?”

Steve gave her a look. “Yes, to both questions.”

Y/n lifted the blanket and looked down at her completely healed body. She then looked back up at Steve, wide-eyed, who pressed his lips into a thin line.

“We have some things we should talk about.”

It’d been a few months since the attack and Y/n had fully become a part of Steve’s pack and everyone loved her. She refused to give up her apartment until the lease was up, which would be in seven months, but she ended up spending most of her time at the house anyway when she wasn’t at work. She did manage to always make it home before falling asleep though.

Steve promised her they were looking for the wolf that attacked her but judging from the fact that Steve either sent someone to walk her home or did it himself every night, they weren’t close to finding the attacker.

It was a night when Steve was walking her home and she could tell he wanted to talk about something.

“What is it?” Y/n asked. They were a few blocks from her apartment.

“Ok, so,” he paused then shook his head, “Natasha should probably talk to you about this.”

“Will you just spit it out?” Y/n laughed.

“At some point, you’re going to go into heat and as the most submissive in the pack you will be -” he paused trying to find the right word.

“Are they all going to try and jump my bones?” Y/n asked. She’d already gotten this talk from Natasha, it was one of the first conversations they’d had, but watching Steve blush and try to find a way to approach this was just as much fun as Natasha had said it would be.

“Not the mated ones,” Steve said.

“So Clint and Tony?”

“Yeah basically.” Steve sighed. “It would probably be best if you stayed away from the house for that week when it happens because when males get around a female -”

“Ok, I’m going to stop you right there because Natasha already told me all this,” Y/n told him with a smirk.

“Dear God, how long were you going to let me do that?” He asked as she continued to laugh.

“You should probably get better at giving that talk because damn you’re bad at it,” she giggled. “Most submissive, huh?”

“I know in our pack we don’t really do much about our rankings but when it comes to some things it just doesn’t matter. But I want you to know that no one in the pack would ever actually lay a hand on you, and if they did I would kill them, they’d just say very sexual things.”

“I trust you, I trust all of you. But I will spend less time at the house when I go into heat,” she said and turned her attention down to the sidewalk, “Because I’m a dog now.”

Steve gave her a look.

“I’m fine Steve.”

“I know you didn’t get a choice in all this,” he said softly.

“Well, on the bright side I don’t get my period every month.” Y/n walked up to her door and unlocked it. She turned back to Steve. “Thank you for walking me home.”

He smiled at her. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, so thank you.”

Y/n didn’t take her eyes off him as she backed into her apartment. The only reason their eye contact broke was because Y/n closed the door.

Steve knew that the rest of the pack saw it, except Y/n but everyone else made it very clear they could see that he was developing feelings for the new wolf. Bucky and Sam wouldn’t shut up about it and Natasha was starting to join in on the teasing as well.

It was a few months after Y/n had joined the pack when everyone was in the house all doing different things. Bruce and Tony were going over some of the equipment in the recovery room. While Steve, Nat, Sam, and Bucky were bothering Y/n while she baked cookies. The one missing was Clint but he came flying into the house and told Steve that a neighboring pack was coming to visit for some reason.

Steve got everyone into the living room but sent Tony and Clint home. The pack waited for a while before they hear them park in the driveway and just a few moments after the car doors slammed shut they walked into the house.

Y/n smelled him long before she saw him. It felt like years had passed before Brock Rumlow and two other males walked into the room.

She’d hoped to never interact with Brock again after they’d broken up. She was also hoping to never have to tell her new friends about him and what had happened between them but seeing as how he was here and apparently a werewolf, that wasn’t going to happen.

Steve was standing in front with Sam and Bucky flanking him on either side. Y/n was hiding behind all of them, she should’ve left when she had the chance.

Y/n wasn’t paying attention to what was going on or what the meeting was about, she was purely focused on keeping her breathing steady. She could feel the onset of a panic attack, she didn’t dare look up from the ground until she heard them begin to walk away. When she looked up Brock was looking right at her, his face was emotionless but there was a look in his eyes that she’d definitely seen before.

She barely held it together as he walked away, she waited until she could no longer hear the car before she let the panic overwhelm her. She was on her hands and knees struggling to breathe because of the tightness in her chest.

Next thing she knew there was a hand on her shoulder and a voice whispering in her hear instructing her on how to breathe. It was unclear to her just how long she was in that position or how long it took her to figure out that it was just her and Steve left in the living room. But eventually, her breathing regulated and she was lying on the floor with Steve lying next to her.

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” Steve asked softly.

Y/n was quiet for a moment. Not because she was debating telling him or not but because she was trying to distract herself by focusing on how blue his eyes were.

“Why are your eyelashes so long?” She wondered out loud.

“We don’t have to talk about -”

“No I want to, just give me a minute.”

Steve stayed quiet but he didn’t take his eyes off Y/n.

“I used to date Brock,” she said suddenly, “It was a few years ago and then I finally got out of the relationship and moved away from him. I didn’t tell him where I was going. . . I think it was him.”

“What was?” Steve asked.

“I think he was the one who attacked me that night -”

“Why do you think that?” He asked afraid that he could already guess the answer.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” she said in a soft voice.

Steve brushed the pad of his thumb gently across her cheek. “Did he -”

Y/n nodded her head unable to verbally answer. Steve closed his eyes and clenched his fist. She could see the anger building up, she’d seen it all the time when she was dating Brock. But with Steve, it didn’t scare her. Steve didn’t scare her.

She reached over and placed her hand on his fist and he instantly calmed down. After a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes to look at her.

“I’m not going to let him touch you,” he promised.

“Can I stay here tonight?” She asked.

“Of course,” he agreed quickly. He watched a smile creep onto her face and he returned the gesture.

Once Y/n was ready, they got off the floor and spent the rest of the day watching movies with Y/n cuddled into Steve’s side. She fell asleep five minutes into the last movie she’d chosen so Steve lifted her and carried her up to his room. They didn’t have a room ready for her, so he would just sleep on the couch.

As Steve tucked her in she woke slightly and grabbed his hand.

“Stay,” she whispered.

“I’m gonna go sleep on the couch,” he told her.

“Steve stop being so difficult and come here,” she ordered.

He wasn’t sure what it was but he didn’t fight her any further and crawled into bed next to her. Once Y/n was once again snuggled into Steve’s side she fell back into a deep sleep.

Steve could hear whispering, he was too tired to try and figure out what was being said. It wasn’t until the body next to his shifted when he was fully awake and knew exactly what was being said and who by.

Y/n was laying next to him with her face in the crook of his neck. One of her legs was draped across his hips and his arms were wrapped around her, holding her close.

“Make them stop,” Y/n mumbled into his neck. Her breath sent a shiver down his spine.

Steve let out a low commanding growl and the whispers stopped.

“How I became the leader of a pack of gossips is beyond me,” Steve said. He absent-mindedly trailed his fingers up and down her arm.

“We should get up,” Y/n said.

“Well, you’re on top of me so you first.”

“But you’re so comfy.”

She shifted again and Steve a smell unlike any other wafted over to him and he knew.

“You’re going into heat,” Steve said mostly to himself but Y/n responded anyway.

“Is that why I wanna rip off all your clothes and ride you into the sunset?” She sighed and sat up. She was still in yesterday’s shirt. Her bra and pants had been thrown to the floor last night while she declared that anyone who could sleep in jeans was not to be trusted.

Steve held back a moan and tried not to picture Y/n bouncing on his cock.

Y/n smiled down at him, “You’re allowed to tell me that you’re not attracted to me like that Steve. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”

“Trust me,” he groaned, “that’s not the issue.”

“Then why do you look like you’re in pain?”

“Because I’m doing my very best to not let you have your way with me,” he said again.

“Why?” Y/n asked Steve looked over to see her teasing smile.

“Because you don’t actually want me,” he whispered.

Y/n carefully and slowly moved, giving him more than enough time to stop her, so that she was straddling Steve’s waist sitting on her knees. She leaned down so her lips were right next to his ear.

“Well, I wouldn’t let anyone else fuck me into oblivion,” she said then stood up and got off the bed. She walked over to the door after grabbing her pants. Before she could even grab the doorknob she was spun around so her back was pressed against the door. Steve’s body was impossibly close to her. Y/n’s breathing was labored as Steve looked her up and down like he was trying to figure out where to start.

He leaned his forehead against hers.

“If I do this, there would be nothing stopping me from bonding with you and making you my mate,” he said softly, “and as much as I would love to do that - it’s not a good idea because once you’re someone’s mate that’s it.”

“And?” She asked not taking her eyes off him.

“And,” he said pointedly, “you should get to choose who your mate it.”

“What makes you think that I’m not choosing you now?” She asked.

Steve’s breath caught in his throat.

“Unless I’m moving too fast then I can put on my pants and go home but -”

“Brock could find you there, you’re safer here,” Steve finished for her. “And no, you’re not moving too fast, that’s kind of how it works for us. It only took Natasha and Clint a month to realize that they didn’t want anyone else.”

“How do you know?” Y/n asked. Steve could hear how scared she was of being stuck with someone who would hurt her the way Brock had.

“All the mated wolves I’ve talked to say that it’s hard to explain. That it’s just a feeling you get.”

“And you feel that way about me?”

Steve let out a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Y/n closed the distance between their lips and kissed him.

“Y/n -” he warned.

“God Steve,” she groaned in annoyance, “do you ever shut up?”

Steve leaned back looking at her in surprise. “Did you really just talk to your alpha like that?” His tone was a mixture of teasing and genuine shock.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would just have your way with me,” she growled. It was the first time he’d ever heard her growl at anyone.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he placed his hands on the wall on either side of her head, “if I were to have my way with you, you wouldn’t be able to leave the bed for a week.”

Y/n whimpered slightly and rubbed her thighs together for even the slightest bit of relief from the tension building in her.

“Besides,” he smirked, “I’m much more interested in you having your way with me.”

Y/n dropped her clothing, that she’d almost forgotten she was holding and pushed Steve back towards the bed.

Steve fell back on the bed still smiling at Y/n. She stood at the edge of the bed and lifted her shirt over her head.

“Take your pants off,” she ordered and Steve wondered if they’d really been so idiotic to believe that Y/n was a submissive wolf instead of just impossibly kind. But he followed her directions removing his underwear too.

Y/n slid out of her panties before climbing back onto him to straddle him, much like she had been a few minutes ago. Steve sat up, pulling her against him.

She froze, she cupped his face in her hands and stared with intensity into his eyes. “You’re not going to hurt me are you?”

Steve pressed a kiss above both of her breasts before repeating the action on her cheeks then one last quick one to her lips.

“Never,” he whispered. She smiled softly and kissed him again then she slid her hands into his hair and pulled his head back exposing his neck.

“Were you serious about me having my way with you?” She asked as she dragged her lips up his neck before pulling oh his ear with her teeth.

Steve closed his eyes and dug his fingers into her hips. With her pussy so close to his cock it was becoming more and more difficult for him to think straight.

“Deadly,” he answered breathlessly.

“Well then,” she whispered seductively into his ear, “let’s see how well an alpha can take orders.”

Steve whimpered as Y/n pressed one finger onto his chest, silently telling him to lie on his back. She rocked her hips teasing him a bit more before moving so she was straddling his head.

“You have such a pretty mouth,” she cooed.

That was all the encouragement he needed before he wrapped his arms around the backside of her thighs and pulled her down so she was on his mouth. Both of Y/n’s hands were in his hair gripping it tightly as reveled in the taste of her.

“Fuck, Steve,” she whimpered.

Steve opened his eyes to look up at her. She looked ethereal with a blissful smile playing at her lips while her chest rose and fell with each labored breath. Steve took her clit into his mouth and sucked. A few moments later her legs were shaking as she came.

He didn’t let her go until he was satisfied. She was leaning against the headboard trying to catch her breath. He kissed her inner thigh before scooting under her so he could sit up with her in his lap.

“So,” Steve said as Y/n kissed along his neck leaving marks that he would need to wear a turtleneck to hide, “what would you like me to do next?”

She lifted her head to look at him and winked at him. She caressed his cock lining it up with her entrance and lowering herself onto him.

“Jesus, fuck.” Steve gripped her hips again.

“What?” Y/n asked with faux innocence.

Steve growled and tried to get her to move but she forced his hands off her waist and pinned them over his head.

“I thought I was having my way with you.”

“Get on with it then,” Steve said trying to use his alpha voice but clearly Y/n was unaffected by it.

She t’sked at him. “That’s not how you get what you want, baby boy.”

“Please,” he whined pathetically. “Please let me cum. I need it. I need you.”

Y/n leaned in and brushed her lips against his ear. “I wonder what everyone else would think of their alpha begging to be fucked.”

“Please, Y/n.”

“Only because you’re so pretty when you beg.”

At first, she was slow about her movements. Slowly rising and sinking back down teasing him until he let out a frustrated groan, then she let go of his hands so she could hold on to his shoulders as she sped up.

Steve was losing his resolve.

“Do it, Steve,” she told him, he didn’t have to ask to know what she was talking about, “I want it to be you.”

He pulled her closer to himself as he met her movements with thrusts of his own. When Y/n’s chest pressed up against his he bit down on her neck drawing the smallest bit of blood. That was all it took for the mate bond to snap into place. He licked up the blood droplets and pressed a kiss to where he’d bitten her, his teeth marks already gone.

The feeling of her intensified after their bond was in place and Steve didn’t last long after Y/n came, squeezing his cock. Their moans filled the room and in the back of his mind, he had the fleeting thought about how the pack could definitely hear them.

They sat there for a moment after they’d finished riding their highs. Y/n’s head was resting against his shoulder and Steve’s arms were lazily wrapped around her waist.

“You’re gonna make me pay for the comments I made aren’t you?” She asked breathlessly.

“You bet your sweet ass I am,” he teased. She giggled into his neck and Steve could swear he’d never heard a better sound.

Neither of them actually fell asleep that night. They just lay in bed enjoying each other’s company.

“I love you,” Steve whispered in the dead of night.

“I love you too,” Y/n responded sleepily.

“I don’t know what we’re going to tell everyone, Bucky will be upset that he’s no longer my second,” Steve chuckled. Y/n lifted her head and looked at him.

“What?”

“When an alpha mates with someone their mate becomes their second,” he explained.

“Well, they’re going to have a hard time believing that I can give orders.”

“Not if they heard anything that happened earlier,” he teased and she groaned into his chest. “But that’s not all that I’m worried about.”

“What else is on your mind?”

“What are we gonna do about Brock?”

Steve rolled over on to his side so he was facing Y/n who was contemplating as she fiddled with Steve’s fingers.

“Honestly? I don’t care,” she shrugged.

“What?”

“At one point I did want him to pay for what he did, but now I couldn’t care less about what happens to him.” She brushed a strand of hair out of his face. “Why would I waste time thinking about him when I’m here with you.”

“So we do nothing?”

“Well, if he shows up here again, then you can kill him if I don’t do it first,” she conceded. “Now, tell me more about what me being your second means. Does that mean that I get to boss everyone around and have them bring me food when I’m too lazy to get it myself?”

Steve laughed at her comment and they spent the rest of the night talking. Steve knew that the rest of the pack wasn’t going to be on board with this whole Brock situation and just letting him be. But they could deal with that tomorrow, or the next day whenever they decided to get out of bed.

#werewolf!steve #Steve Rogers x reader #steve x reader #Steve Rogers AU #steve rogers smut #halloweenhauntsauchallenge

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