#i broke down at work today—it wasn’t even a full shift it was a 5 hour & i was filling in for someone

[rosesradio]

having a couple drinks & applying for new jobs is peak 20s experience tbh

#tw alcohol #i broke down at work today—it wasn’t even a full shift it was a 5 hour & i was filling in for someone #it’s just i’m sick of the constant moving & slightly unappreciative attitude from management bc they’re always snappy due to stress #& like a 1-2 hour rush is whatever it’s manageable but a 4-5 hour rush for donuts is unreal man #& it’s not worth 11.50 an hour idc if it’s plus tip #my work bestie/nice manager said nicely that if I can’t get it to where i can manage then I should quit bc it’s not worth it #& she said the other managers are egotistical & let it get in the way of their decency lmao #anyways mom says i should look into other bookseller jobs like even though the library didn’t work out I should try a bookshop #& I’ll try even though they can be really selective #it’s just…I’m willing to take a paycut for better working conditions…& the people there /are/ nice…but the crowd & stress & everything is #not worth it #like I shouldn’t be swaying around sweating & nauseous 5 hours into my shift wondering how i’m gonna make it #like im sick of that for every job #i hope the conditions will get better though #rose.txt

[once-in-a-blue-moon-rising]

I posted 1,619 times in 2022

That's 773 more posts than 2021!

73 posts created (5%)

1,546 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@themirokai

@poeticallydead

@managerie76

@icatee

@turquoiseorchid

I tagged 1,547 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#art - 320 posts

#sherlock - 233 posts

#mystrade - 188 posts

#mycroft holmes - 186 posts

#greg lestrade - 183 posts

#it me - 134 posts

#ofmd - 125 posts

#fanfiction - 104 posts

#text posts - 62 posts

#the sandman - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#they also sent me an email blaming ofgem as if they didn’t make the extremely conscious choice to take advantage of the higher cap

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

COVID day four downsides: can't sleep, too much coughing, stuff smells weird COVID day four upsides: got up and re-read Middlegame, The Empty House AND Experiments with Tequila before 8am

22 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#4

a slightly rough mystrade manip that I made for the mystrade discord but which I think (I think) I want to share with tumblr too

34 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#3

absolutely obsessed with The Queue, it's like following the NORAD santa tracker on Christmas Eve

37 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#2

For Valentine's Day, a tiny preview from the first chapter of Fire Dancing with Snow. This is a first draft, so it may not appear like this when I post it on AO3, but I think you deserve a little bit of fluffy established mystrade goodness today. Works standalone even if you've not read my previous work. Set just after Greg meets John for the first time; Mycroft's POV. G-rated (though the full fic won't be). ‘Gregory?’ he said.

‘Hi’, Greg said. Mycroft was pleased, even in his distracted state, to hear him somewhat calmer than the last time they spoke. ‘Something odd just happened. Figured you might be able to enlighten me.’

‘John Watson?’

‘Dr Watson, yeah, didn’t get a first name. Just strolled onto a crime scene with Sherlock, never seen him before in my life.’

Mycroft hummed non-committedly down the line, thinking. He heard Greg shift his weight, and the clattering of officers on the stairs nearby.

‘Should I take it you’re planning to scare the pants off him and I don’t need to worry?’

That comment broke Mycroft’s reverie, and he choked out a laugh, surprised.

‘One could put it like that, I suppose.’

‘Good’, Greg said.

He paused, and there was something about the silence that stopped Mycroft from cutting in and ending the call with a promise to catch up later. It wasn’t a deduction so much as a feeling: that Greg was contemplating him, a glint in his eye, tongue poking out between his teeth.

‘Not literally though’, he added, and Mycroft smiled broadly, his heart thudding fondly in his chest. ‘Rumour has it the last bloke you tried to scare away from your brother still can’t keep them on around you, and he –’

Mycroft, utterly unable to stop himself, giggled.

‘Gregory, you are at work –’

‘– he really doesn’t want to share.’

Colour flared in Mycroft’s cheeks, and warmth flooded his chest.

‘You may tell him he has nothing to worry about’, Mycroft said, voice low and soft, the impending arrival of John Watson forgotten.

‘I will.’

The exchange hung in the air between them: warm and promising.

‘Although’, Mycroft said, unable to resist the opportunity to tease, his stomach squeezing pleasantly at Greg’s bark of laughter. ‘It’s presumptuous, don’t you think, to assume you’re the last person I tried to intimidate away from Sherlock?’

‘Presumptuous and correct?’

‘Yes.’

Greg chuckled. Mycroft heard him descending the stairs now; clearly, he was needed elsewhere.

‘I’d like to see you later’, Mycroft offered, the sounds of Greg’s work reminding him of the reality of his. ‘If you’re free.’

‘Me too’, Greg said, stopping again, presumably to find somewhere more private to say goodbye, because when he next spoke, his voice was quieter than before. ‘And I’d be more than happy if no pants were involved whatsoever.’

Mycroft almost snorted.

‘Stop talking about pants’, he said.

‘See ya soon’, Greg said, the grin visible from his voice, and then the line went dead.

57 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ok, so I've seen lots of headcanons about Mycroft being distressed about the Queen's death and Greg comforting him (and, honestly, cute) ... but as an anti-monarchy Brit who loves projecting onto Mycroft, let me offer an alternative:

We know Mycroft referred to an unspecified royal as a 'very old friend', the implication being it's probably the Queen, but we also hear Mycroft at various points decrying any kind of intimate relationship on the grounds that everyone else is, comparatively, goldfish (although it's clear he adores Sherlock, and he and Greg are also clearly made for each other, I do think it makes sense for his character that they really are anomalies).

SO, let's interpret that comment as the fact that the Queen is, for him, a long-standing ally - not entirely deplorable, but mainly just useful to have on side because, ya know, she's the Queen.

And so when she does die, the cause of Mycroft's monumental headache is not grief, but the fact that he has to beat off journalists until the palace is ready to announce it, plus contribute to the logistics of the funeral, the coronation, deal with anger of those who think it's fucking outrageous that so much money is being spent on the whole rigamorale and not, idk, homeless people... AND now he has to speak to Charles. Who he really, really doesn't like.

And so when Greg turns up unexpectedly with coffee at Mycroft's office - and bear in mind this is a coincidence; the announcement's not been made to the public yet - he looks at Mycroft's face and he just knows, immediately.

'Oh my god', he says, plonking the coffee on the desk, and looking up at Mycroft. 'It's happened, hasn't it?'

'No', Mycroft says stiffly. Then: 'Stop smiling.'

But the thing is, Greg has never been super fond of the royal family, always a bit anti-establishment, even though he ended up in the police... and he can't. He breaks out into a full grin, and then he starts giggling... and Mycroft has never been able to hold himself together when Greg starts laughing.

And suddenly, the worst afternoon of all time is bearable, and they're giggling away together in Mycroft's office, trying not to laugh too loudly with the whole floor conversing in respectful whispers outside the door.

'Do you want me to lose this position?' Mycroft hisses, when he can catch his breath. He pauses. 'Although, it might be preferable to - '

'Charlie?'

Mycroft hums then, trying to retain some shred of... propriety, perhaps, not that Greg needs that from him.

'You're a horrible influence', he declares instead, and he lets Greg kiss him, and smooth his hair back, his laughter finally stuttering to a halt.

'I know', Greg says, and he steps back. 'Give me a text if you need anything else, yeah?'

75 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #it me

[soundof-rain]

Hello Again

Hello, I know it’s been a very veryyy long time since i’ve been here & it may be a long time again after this post but i’m here now so that’s what matters. Today is 11/22/2022 and there is so much that has happened over the past year that one couldn’t even imagine ; I moved away from my toxic family for good and settled in seattle - a HUGE leap of faith on my end but when a plan is conspired with everyones interest in mind but yours you have to make do and just DO something. So I did. I landed here a year ago with whatever money I had left from unemployment and my belongings and made due, I didn’t know the area, I didn’t know the people I didn’t know where to start but again I did something because I had to and it turned out to be the best I could do in that circumstance. I lived in a hostel for a few months -The Green Tortoise- until I found my footing and could afford an apartment, I started working literally my first full week here as a concierge and the ball began rolling from there. I used to work long shifts to start out pulling multiple 12 and 16 hour shifts a week and even though I was tired I had money to make so I could stop shacking up with randoms every night. 

I was stressed depressed and losing my mind in every sense of the meaning honestly but in true me fashion I just kept on going. I remember one night in the hostel I was in a room with all men , one of which on the bunkbeds directly across from me was snoring like he slept on the plushest cloud in the sky, so his bottom bunk mate began kicking his bunk from below to get him to quiet down-This did not turn out so well. The cloud sleeper (or top bunk occupant) woke up and they exchanged words the first time then it happened again and when he climbed down that narrow ladder all hell broke loose. Top bunk occupant began threatening bottom bunk and getting dressed “welcoming” him to get up and fight him and although that was anything but what bottom occupant wanted a fight broke anyway. A partially naked one at that. I forget what led to the men getting physical but all i know is one second their arguing and the next a naked man is slammed on my bunk - talk about crazy. There were also good times in the hostel as well that I won’t get into because that not what this is about lol. Finding living definitely was hard having to move my bags constantly , I remember an uber driver threw all my belongings in the middle of the street in china town in the rain and pulled off lol, wasn’t funny then and it still isn’t now but I just couldn’t believe that happened. The lack of decency some people have is outrageous. Anyway I finally found an apartment around December and jumped through some hoops to get the apartment due to me not having credit but I still managed to get through and set my move in date, which left me standing outside in the freezing cold for about an hour and a half because they were notoriously slow and my keys weren’t in the combination lock where and WHEN it was supposed to be, l o l. A lot of little happenings like this took place I also had A LOT of break downs , like A LOT but being a fresh 21 year old (I turned 21 in seattle) who doesn’t have any friends nor family and no idea wtf is going on with your life you’re bound to freak the fuck out. Fast forward the entire year of 22′ and a handful of jobs later , I sit here in my apartment writing this for you all, who’s you all? Not sure but whoever decides to read this I hope you’re thoroughly entertained by my mess. 

This post was honestly supposed to be about how i’m feeling right now in regards to the holidays and/or lack thereof for me. My birthday was 2 days ago and I turned 22 ! WHOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !! However that was spent in my apartment alone with a grocery store cake and some takeout , I received literally 5 happy birthdays , one of which was sung to me so I really whole heartedly appreciate that to my core, I sung happy birthday to myself and blew out the candles by myself and enjoyed the rest of the day watching movies. Nothing spectacular nor special but it was an intimate little moment for me and the fact that I was able to still find happiness despite being sorely alone means a lot to me, it was never about how many people cared enough to remember , I honestly expected 3 tops. But, now as the last few holidays of the year are approaching , the most family oriented ones, I’m stuck wondering when it’ll be my turn to experience it . For me right now there is nothing special about holidays its just another day, birthday included, and I spend them working or in my apartment under the covers for the day and that really fucking sucks if I say so myself , and I do say so myself. Still don’t have any friends, no family either and it just makes me wonder if I’ll ever get that Holiday Spirit vibe in my life ever again yknow. When you’re in certain situations it can make it hard to see alternative ways of being or happenings for yourself so you kind of just have to have faith. It’s like what are the chances I’ll be alone forever and never have holiday joy or even people that like me and enjoy me enough to spend holidays with me , there’s definitely a chance but how high is it exactly? I’m not a bad person and I’ve done more than enough healing this year that I know it’s not happening to me it’s happening for me so that really changed my outlook on a lot of situations to the point where there’s not sorrow or pity it’s just being like okay yes i’m alone but this is what it is for RIGHT NOW! It won’t be like this forever, do I know when it’ll change ? Nope but all I can do for myself is not dwell on it and hope for the best. 

#holidaylonesome #holiday #birthday #writing #update #blog #thinking #ughkgdkbnkdfbgn

[thediaryofaudreysaxton]

September 24th, 2022

I cut my own hair again. 

The act itself is always so disgusting and ravenous. The thick chomping sound as my pink child’s scissors slice sideways, then vertical, into my mousy brown locks. Me, dead in the eyes, grabbing at random tufts with my fast-moving hands that are both quivering and damp. My cuts are always much shorter than I intend, as evenness is never achieved in the beginning if at all. 

The first time I cut my own hair I was in college.

Four times a week I served bagels and bubble tea at Milky Way Tea and Pastry. We were two blocks west of campus and the café was a converted garage made of painted white brick. I found the place sad and sweet and therefore full of romance. My boss Kyhunghee would scream and scold me in Korean for reasons varying in severity like being late or leaving the place unlocked overnight. Kyunghee’s mouth went wider than a cartoon snake’s when she was stern or stressed. I was the only student employed who wasn’t Korean. All the girls said Kyunghee was scary. I loved watching her long mouth when she was pissed at me, or her alive black eyes as she growled, stomped her feet, then pointed at my untied shoe and tangled hair. It was a privilege watching someone so passionate in their frustrations, direct fierce anger at me and not get hurt one bit. I had no idea what she was yelling but I knew she was displeased. Korean sounded like getting hit by uncooked alphabet pasta coming out of a tennis ball machine, absurd and stingy. She was immersive theatre and this was not a reprimand. Despite her frustrations towards my lack of aptitude, Kyunghee liked me because I was pretty and white, and always in a good mood. Putting on a show, I was a ham for them. When business was slow, I would drop to the ground like a deflated puppet, writhing in pain as I accused a coworker of pushing me to the ground. “Workers’ comp!” I’d shout. I would pretend to sob when we ran out of lettuce and stroke tomatoes goodbye before I cut them open. Every quarter of the hour, I liked to dance.  

 I worked mostly mornings, arriving at 6AM to put frozen bagels on a baking sheet the size of the screen door in my childhood home. I dipped their top half in hot water before a quick dip in poppyseed, everything, and salt. As a kid I liked to follow my mom around because she was tall, and people liked her. I also liked to stand in front of the mirror practicing shifting emotions. My mother adored me but also adored herself, as well as had to combat her irregular and common mood swings, so frequently I was told to get the fuck off her leg and go outside and play for fucks sake can she have one moment of peace god dammit. My favorite part about her at that age was watching her slap her slender and exposed legs when a neighbor or a family friend spoke. This is how you get people to like you, I noted, you exaggerate and hurt yourself.

Pushing through the screen door to our backyard, I often found myself pulling at the base of thick clumps of grass hoping to upheave their ivory roots along with the blades. I liked to play squatted down over a stump in our backyard, pinching wet mud and talking to myself.

“You’re going here today, we will have fun” I said to the clods of dirt before I smashed them onto the stump’s growth ring. “Here we go, hold on tight friend man”.

 Standing in front of the mirror in my 4-bedroom apartment I am 20 years old. I have not watered my plant for one week and today after work I found a debit card on the ground and without hesitating, scooped the blue plastic up and stuffed the card into my hoodie’s front pocket. I bought a kid’s meal at Qdoba with the stolen card before throwing the uneaten meal, as well as the card, into the trash near the library. Inside the library I had a cliff bar for dinner and looked for hot guys, planting myself near the spiral staircase on the second floor. I wrote about how The California Boy broke up with me again 5 days ago, but I had gone over there last night and sucked his dick before he made me go on top. I had felt full and stupid, rocking back and forth up there. I closed my laptop and left for my apartment, believing both everyone was watching me, and I was completely invisible, as they reeled at how unnoticeable I was.

 It was a Friday night. I had never cut my own hair before but when I looked into my own eyes, I realized I was attempting to put mascara on while brushing my teeth. I didn’t know how to slow down but I knew I wanted to look different.

Today was similar, except I’m better at cutting it now. 

[thebookreader12345]

Shouting Match

Pairing: Sean Roman x Halstead! reader

Summary: Y/N and Sean were in what seemed like the perfect relationship, but when a close friend gets hurt, the two realize there were many faults between them and an argument ensues

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: slight swearing, mentions of alcohol and gunshot wounds

Word Count: 1,777 Words

"Jay, for the last time, I'm not gonna break up with Sean just because you don't like him," I tell my older brother.

"Why not, Y/N? I'd say that's a pretty good reason," Jay retorted as he followed me out to my car.

We had just spent the past 2 hours hanging out at Molly's so that we could catch up because it had been a while since we'd spent time together. But of course, as soon as the topic of relationships came up, a debate started that I had not wanted to get into.

"Look, Jay. I get that he's got beef with Intelligence, and they're practically your second family, but Sean's a really great guy. And once you get over whatever the hell has you fixated on him being an asshole, you'll see that. Now, I've got an early shift at Med tomorrow, and if I'm late, Will is gonna have my head. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I say before climbing into my car.

The ride to the apartment was pretty short, 5 minutes tops, and I was just happy to be home. I climbed out of my car and entered the complex, taking the stairs to get to the second floor of the building. From there, it was only a matter of seconds before I got to my door and unlocked it.

"Hey," Sean greeted from the couch as I came through the door. It wasn't weird for Sean to be in my apartment when I got home. Occasionally he'd come over so we could spend a bit of time together before our next shifts.

"Hey," I return and set my things down before joining him on the couch. I took a seat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a much needed kiss on his lips.

"How was work?" Sean asked and encircled my waist with his arms.

"You know, giving meds, checking in on patients, the usual," I reply, describing the everyday routine of my job as an ED Nurse at Chicago Med. "And then I got to spend some time with Jay at Molly's. It's always nice hanging out with him since I don't see him as often as Will. But what about you? How was patrol?"

"Fine. The only thing that happened was an attempted robbery, and we caught the guy," Sean responded. "Speaking of work, my partner's taking a day off tomorrow, so I'm gonna be partnered with Kim for the day."

I had no problem with Kim. Quite the opposite, actually. She was my best friend. However, she was also Sean's ex, so sometimes it made things weird between us. She assured me when Sean and I started dating that she was okay with it, and I believed that, but whenever the three of us were together, there was a bit of awkwardness in the room. We always got past it though, and Sean and Kim continued to be friends.

"All right. Keep each other safe, please," I plead and peck his lips before climbing off of his lap. "I've got an early shift tomorrow, so I'm gonna head to bed."

"Goodnight," Sean called after me. I ditched the clothes I was wearing, throwing them in the hamper with one toss. After I put on some pajamas, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes. Minutes later, I was fast asleep.

............................................

"Y/N, that's your second cup of coffee this morning," Maggie pointed out as she joined me at the nurses' station.

"Yeah. And...?" I trailed off, not seeing the problem.

"Late night?" Maggie questioned.

I shook my head. "No, actually. I made Jay promise not to keep me at Molly's past 10, and he stayed true to that. Today I'm just enjoying my caffeine." Just then, Maggie's pager beeped, and when she glanced down at it, she frowned.

"Incoming! Choi, you're up!" Maggie yelled into the ED. Ethan was the doctor I worked with the most, and I had no problem with it. We had grown to be close friends, and we worked quite well together. So, whenever it was his turn to accept an incoming trauma, I always followed to help him out. I thought today would be the same, but that all changed when the gurney was wheeled through the ambulance bay doors.

"Kim Burgess, late 20s, gunshot wound to the neck. Weak pulse. We intubated in the field," Courtney, the paramedic, informed us. My whole world seemed to stop as I watched my best friend get wheeled past me. And seeing her unconscious made things 100% worse.

"Y/N, you coming?" Ethan quizzed as he led the gurney into the nearest trauma room.

"I uh... Mags, c-can you...?" I stammer out, not even needing to finish my sentence for Maggie to understand what I was asking.

"I've got this," Maggie assured me and followed Ethan into the trauma room. Seconds after Kim was wheeled in, Sean entered the ED, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on me.

"Y/N!" Sean shouted and joined me by the nurses' station. "How's Kim doing?"

"I don't know," I confess and glance towards the trauma room she was situated in. "I make it a rule to not work on anyone I'm close with. What the hell happened? You guys were just supposed to be on a routine patrol."

"Intelligence called us up," Sean answered. "We were working a drug case and we ended up having to chase the guy down an alleyway."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You promised you'd keep Kim safe. You promised, Sean. So where were you when she was being shot at?" I implore harshly.

"I was taking cover like I was supposed to! We didn't have an eye so I ducked down behind a dumpster. What, you think this was my fault?" Sean asked.

"You're her partner, Sean. It's your job to protect her. Yet here she is with a bullet buried in her neck," I return.

"You're acting like I told her to make a move," Sean countered. "She put her own life in danger. I had nothing to do with that."

I scoffed. "You had everything to do with it."

"I don't think we should be having this argument here," Sean whispered.

"Well I think we should," I retort.

"Y/N," Sean started.

"Don't 'Y/N' me," I seethe. By now, the whole ED was staring at us, but I didn't care right now. "My best friend is dying because of you!"

"If it was me in there instead of Kim, would you be yelling at her?" Sean posed. "Cause I think you'd be trying to reassure her that none of it was her fault. So, what? Kim takes priority over me, your boyfriend?"

"At the moment, yeah," I reply and cross my arms over my chest.

"Just at the moment? I think she always has," Sean accused. "And if that doesn't speak to how our relationship is, then I don't know what does."

"What are you trying to say?" I ask.

"I'm not trying to say anything. I'm telling you that I'm through with this. I'm through with you," Sean emphasized. "We're done." As Sean stalked off back towards the lobby, everything he said really hit me.

We were done.

"Y/N? You okay?" Adam questioned once he noticed that I had practically froze in the middle of the ED.

"Excuse me," I murmur and push past him politely. My body was begging me for some fresh air to help calm myself down, so I made my way out of the ED, but that involved going through the lobby where Sean and the rest of the 21st district was waiting. I hoped that I wouldn't catch anyone's attention, but I should've known better.

"Y/N," Jay said and stood up when he saw me. However, instead of stopping to talk to him, I made a beeline straight for the exit. The automatic doors opened when I stepped near them, allowing a nice breeze to hit my face. My feet carried me to the front of the hospital where I took a seat against the side of the building and placed my head in my hands. That's when the tears began to flow, but I didn't stop them. Minutes later, I was joined by Jay, who took a seat next to me. For a few seconds, we sat in silence, but then Jay spoke up. "Natalie told me what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it," I mutter without removing my head from my arms.

"Well, as family, we're required to," Jay declared. "I told you Roman was an ass."

I laughed softly and picked my head up, resting it against the wall behind me. "I now see why you thought that. So everyone in the ED heard?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah. But don't worry. I'm sure they're all thinking the same thing as I am. Want me to have a talk with Roman?"

I shook my head. "No, but thank you for offering. I uh, I need to get back inside. We're low on nurses today. I'll talk to you later, Jay."

Jay's POV

A few hours later, Kim was awake and doing well, and I was just glad that she would be making a full recovery. As Adam and I were exiting her room, we just so happened to bump into Sean Roman, the girl who just, not even hours prior, broke my little sister's heart.

"Hey, guys," Sean greeted. "Is she awake?""

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you for real?"

Sean frowned. "What?"

"You broke up with my sister, that's what. Get the hell out of here!" I demand.

"But-"

Adam cut Sean off. "Kim doesn't want to talk to you. Not after what happened between you and Y/N. And I'd advise you follow Jay's orders."

Sean hesitated, but sighed. "Fine." He then walked off, leaving Adam and I standing alone in front of Kim's hospital room.

"All right man, I'm gonna head out. I promised Y/N that Will and I would come over after her shift, which is ending in like 20 minutes, so I've gotta pick up some pizza and beers."

"Okay. I'm gonna stay and keep Kim company. Have a good night," Adam spoke.

"Yeah man. You too," I return. And with that, I left the hospital to go spend some much needed quality time with my sister. Y/N would probably be hurting for a few days, but Will and I agreed that we'd be there for her every step of the way because that's what big brothers were for.

______________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @virtualreader @carnationworld​ @caitsymichelle13​ @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone​ @i-like-sparkly-things​

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagines #one chicago imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagines #chicago pd imagine #sean roman #sean roman x reader #sean roman imagines #sean roman imagine #jay halstead #jay halstead x sibling #jay halstead x sister #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagines #jay halstead imagine #x reader #imagines #imagine #halstead sister

[whumpurr]

Adrien and Sawdust part 5

masterlist

cw: descriptions of an emaciated body, disordered eating, pet whump, it as a pronoun, dehumanization, conditioned whumpee

Adrien swore he’d never moved so fast in his life. The second he saw Sawdust’s bony body tip over, he was running up the stairs to meet him. The instant he got to the second floor, he was dropping to his knees with a heavy thud, and properly touching Sawdust for the first time. He carefully lifted his face, seeing Sawdust’s eyes still open- though hardly.

The pet looked to be in worse condition than he was when Adrien had first gotten him. His skin was even paler, stretched thinner across rigid bones, his face was more sunken, the only color on it being the thick scratched scar across his nose bridge, and the deep rings under his eyes. He felt chilled. Adrien maneuvered his body like it was nothing, putting Sawdust’s head and torso to rest elevated on top of his folded legs.

“What’s wrong, Sawdust?” Adrien muttered just loud enough for the pet to hear. He was at a loss, he thought that everything was okay.

“‘M sorry, Master,” Sawdust whimpered, turning his head so he could look away from Adrien. “Need food, please, I’m- I’m sorry.” His voice was hardly a wheeze, but at least he seemed strong enough to move, so Adrien wouldn’t need to rush him to the hospital right that second. Sawdust’s words only came out in rough little squeaks and hiccups, tears gathering in his eyes. He looked terrified. “Food for- for dogs, please. If- if Master w- uh- Master may do whatever he wants but- pet- but- need-”

“Shit, okay, will you be okay if I leave you here to go get it? It’s just in the kitchen, I’ll be right over there.” Adrien was horrified and disgusted with himself as he looked down at Sawdust’s hollow figure. The tattered, oversized t-shirt he had come with was draped across his body, and with his head in Adrien’s lap and chest upturned, Adrien could see the thin fabric catch on the ridges of Sawdust’s ribs, pooling in the dip of his stomach, raised up by the ranges of his hip bones. Adrien handled him like glass, moving him off of his lap before standing and running down to the kitchen, nearly slamming his foot into the corner of his counter with his speed and recklessness.

He’d never been more grateful that he bought the dog food. He grabbed it out of the plastic grocery bag it still sat in on the counter and sliced the top of the bag with a knife, filling a bowl with it and- resigned to the situation- he poured some water into a bowl to go with it. He carried the two bowls up to Sawdust, putting them on the floor and pushing them towards the skeletal figure of his pet.

It looked like it took Sawdust considerable effort to roll himself from his back onto his elbows and knees, but he managed it and immediately dove into eating the chow out of the bowl without so much as a second thought. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be watching this. Like it was some sort of invasion to see Sawdust wolfing down his food in such a manner, but Adrien felt like if he took his eyes off him for a second, something terrible would happen.

--

Sawdust had never been more scared than when he saw Master racing up the stairs. He continued to break records of fear when he confessed, begging Master to give him something he could eat. He knew that if Master wanted to, he could deny him that, too. Sawdust was never more aware of that fact than when he asked for something to eat, but Master was merciful today. He brought him some chow.

Sawdust didn’t pause to think about whether or not the food could be poisoned, or if it would make him sick or kill him. Going that way, or not eating, it would have been death either way. Regardless of that, if Master saw fit for such things, as much as it made Sawdust want to cry, he would simply have to accept it. So he ate. He ate until the bowl was empty and he felt nearly sick, and he even drank after that.

Master would make him pay for this at some point, he was sure, but for now he could focus on his full stomach. He pulled back from the water bowl gasping, liquid dripping from his lips and chin. With his hunger sated, all he could think about was how tired he was. He didn’t care that Master was right there, and that he’d certainly hurt Sawdust soon. The dumb mutt couldn’t find the energy in him to do much about it as he laid down on the floor, curling up to sleep.

“S-Sorry, Master, pet is- is tired. Sleepy.” Sawdust murmured. “Please forgive it.”

“That’s okay, that’s okay baby.” Master was quiet. It made Sawdust confused, the way Master’s voice broke with his words. But the pet didn’t have the energy to think on it for very long, just nodding against the floor and letting his eyes shut.

--

Adrien was not going to let Sawdust sleep on the floor of the corridor. The second Sawdust was asleep, he took the pet’s dog ears off and undid the tail, setting those aside before he scooped him up in his arms and pushed Sawdust’s bedroom door open with his back, stepping in.

The room smelled of rot and spoil. Adrien muttered an expletive under his breath as looked around. Everything was as undisturbed as it had been when he first gave Sawdust the room, save for one corner that had some puddles of water sitting on the floor. He sat Sawdust down on the bed, pinching his nose. There was no way the pet smelled this bad when he got him.

He got to work looking for the source of the scent, thinking that an animal had found its way into the room or ceiling and died, but that was far from what he found. It took a few minutes of checking behind the wardrobes and dressers before looking under the bed, lifting the bedskirt only to be buffeted by the foul odour. Hidden underneath the bed was a pile of food scraps, composed of everything he’d been feeding Sawdust. Every piece of food that was missing from Sawdust’s plates was underneath his bed.

Adrien was never someone who was grossed out by things easily, but the sheer smell of the food was nothing short of disgusting. Regardless, he still had to get the room to a condition where Sawdust would actually be able to sleep in it, so with the help of a dust pan to use like a shovel, he dumped the remnants of the food into a garbage bag and tied it shut. He was at a loss for how the pet could have been tolerating this the whole time. He went through the room with a bit of air freshener, trying to solve the problem before he pushed a mop around under the bed.

With the room in a far better condition, he glanced over to Sawdust. The pet was still sleeping soundly, in near the exact same position that Adrien had left him in. Adrien took the edge of the blanket, folding one side over Sawdust’s frail body in hopes that it’d keep him warmer. Sawdust wasn’t disturbed at all when Adrien put the blanket over him, and he continued to sleep as Adrien started working to make the room more comfortable for the pet.

Once he got to see the room, it didn’t take him long at all to put together that Sawdust hadn’t been sleeping on the bed, and that he was sleeping in the corner that all the water was splashed around. Adrien mopped that up and swung by his linen closet, bringing every extra blanket and pillow he had and tossing them into the corner before arranging them in the most nest-like formation he could.

He wasn’t about to leave the pet unattended, not after an occurrence like that. Adrien grabbed his laptop and sat down in the seat in the other corner of the room, remembering just how uncomfortable the guest room’s furniture was, and why it was in this room and not being used in the living room. Disregarding that, he opened his laptop and kept himself busy.

--

When Sawdust opened his eyes the room was dim and he immediately froze up. The only source of light was warm and coming from one of the corners. Reluctantly, Sawdust sat up, body stiff. Master was sitting in the chair at the corner with a tall lamp on next to him. He looked like he was asleep, but the second Sawdust sat up, Master was awake again.

The very next thing Sawdust realized- not that he had the capacity to care much about it considering he was surely about to be punished within an inch of his life- was the new smell in the room. The old smell wasn’t good, but this new one was giving him a pounding headache. It was far too strong, but that was the least of his worries as he found himself a deer in headlights under his Master’s stare.

“Hey, Sawdust,” Master shifted a little. His voice was low and rough. “Damn, what time’s it?” He squinted at his phone in the dim light. Sawdust clenched his jaw shut, trying to stop any fear from showing on his face, but from Master’s wide eyes, he obviously wasn’t doing that good a job.

“Sorry, Master,” Sawdust whimpered, trembling under the covers. “I- didn’t- it- it-” His eyes darted all over the room and Master got up, walking over to him and sitting at the bottom of the bed.

“You weren’t eating the food?” Master asked, tilting his head. His long hair fell over his shoulder. Sawdust wasn’t ever good at figuring out what somebody really meant with their words, but Master’s tone was steady. He didn’t sound angry, and that made it worse. The punishment would be worse. Sawdust waited for the screaming to start, but all that stretching out through the room was a deafening silence.

“I just want to know why, Sawdust. I didn’t know you weren’t eating.” Master asked. Sawdust reached up to fiddle with his hair, only to realize another thing that was amiss. His ears were gone. His whole body stung with that realization, and he glanced around the room, not seeing them. His tail was also missing and he couldn’t spot them anywhere. Still, Master asked a question and he had to answer.

“Can only eat dog- dog food. Dogs eat dog food.” Sawdust said, flinching and getting ready for when the blows would come.

“Dog-” Master started before sighing. “Okay.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I found that paper with the rules on it. I don’t want to do this and I didn’t think I’d have to, but I have some rules for you, too.”

--

Adrien didn’t miss the way Sawdust perked up at the mention of rules. It made him sick, but he had to press on now that he said it.

“Three meals a day, with me, downstairs.” Adrien tried his best to sound firm in what he was saying, attempting to walk the line between stern and intimidating. “I’ll come get you when it’s time to eat.”

“Is that all, Master?” Sawdust responded. That sounded rehearsed to hell and back, but more confident and solid than anything else Adrien had heard him say before.

“This room’s yours, treat it as such.” Adrien gestured with an outstretched arm, “The bed’s yours, I put some stuff in the corner if you’d rather stay there.”

“Is that all, Master?” Again. Adrien knew there was probably more he should tell Sawdust, but he was blanking.

“For now, yes. If I think of more things I’ll tell you.” The bed shifted with the movement of Adrien standing up. “Try to get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned off the lamp, gathered his laptop, and left, shutting the door behind him as softly as he could.

The second he stepped into his bedroom, he sat down on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair, that familiar, heated upset rising through his body. Sawdust was someone he took into his care and he let him get to such a state. Adrien was disgusted, and thoroughly disappointed with himself. He was in over his head, and he didn’t know what to do.

Night passed slowly for the both of them.

taglist: @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi@neuro-whump @whump-me-all-night-long @cupcakes-and-pain @whumpzone @whumpcreations @dancinglifeboat @pinkraindropsfell @looptheloup @cowboy-anon @meetmeinhellcroutons @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @firewheeesky

#pet whump #whumpblr #whump blog #whump writing #whump #whump ocs #whump recovery #whumpee #caretaker #whump community #adrien and sawdust

[spiderwcd]

sour | b. barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger! reader

summary: you and bucky met on unforgettable terms and have hated each other ever since. of course this doesn’t stop tony putting you together on a mission. will this break the frozen later in each other’s hearts for each other?

word count: 2.6k

warnings: murder, violence, some cursing, mentions of sex, cursing, steamy makeouts,

gif not mine !

you awoke as the same as yesterday, full of hatred towards the world. yet you try to save it everyday with your team. you woke up of course especially hating james buchanan barnes.

ever since we discovered him, you weren’t so fond of his presence. everything and anything he had to do was irritating like a bug bite that won’t to stop needing to be itched. you wanted to strangle him every time he spoke, slap him every time he worked out in front of you, you could of course go on.

you hopped out of the bed in the minimalistic room. you wandered from the mattress towards the attached bathroom. you felt heavy that day, almost sluggish. you huffed out some air from your chest and stared hard in the mirror as you rubbed you sore head. you quickly did your morning routine before becoming any more sick of yourself.

you escaped your small and empty room after changing as soon as you could into the bot so empty one outside. you ended up in the kitchen where natasha and steve were talking. you ignored their presence as you grabbed a cup of coffee and some yogurt from the fridge.

“so, y/n,” natasha began. you perked up your head towards her. “i heard tony might have new missions for us today.” she explained. you shrugged slightly.

“what now?,” you scoffed slightly. “he need us to clean the park?” you rolled your eyes softly as steve chuckled slightly.

“no actually, i heard it was more serious this time,” steve added to our conversation. “heard it was something about spies this time.” your ears perked up and you shot your head up.

“seriously? i bet you tony is gonna bench me again,” you theorized. “he always has it out for me i swear to god.” you grumble.

you take a long sip from your freshly brewed coffee and felt your spirit uplift shortly as you awoke. you felt happier to be awake this time and talking to your friends. that was until bucky entered. you were angry that he walked in without a shirt and dared to wear only a pair of black joggers. you rolled your eyes as you placed your cup of coffee before walking away.

“i’m gonna work out.” you sassed as you quickly left the kitchen before any words could be spoken back.

bucky returned the favor by rolling his eyes back. he knew your hatred towards him. he remembered the day clearly, you were fighting him and he knocked you out and nearly killed you. but steve and natasha saved the day. of course you tried to forget that and become close to him as she was close to her other team members. instead bucky gave her an icy glare and ignored her. so instead of becoming friends, they found it easy to hate each other.

as you disappeared away, bucky scoffed and looked back at the two other people in the kitchen. “i cant believe her, she barely gave me chance and already hating my presence!” bucky ranted as he grabbed a cup of coffee himself.

“well to be fair bucky,” natasha began. “you did give her the cold shoulder when she tried to give you a chance.” she commented.

“yeah but still,” he replied. “that was when i was still brainwashed by hydra. she should know better.”

steve hissed slightly as he reminded him the first date ordeal. it was odd because tony invited everyone to go to his favorite club and y/n found herself a dance partner and as he placed a hand on her waist, bucky showed up and nearly broke the guy’s hand. y/n hated him for ruining her night and she left to get drunk and grumble about how much she hated him.

“oh come on,” bucky blurted. “that guy was making her uncomfortable!” natasha gave him a raised brow before bucky sighed.

“okay maybe i just didn’t want him touching her.”

he couldn’t deny in the end of the day, he had developed a not so small crush on you. he dreamed to even become close to her. he was supposed to be hard and tough and somehow let himself fall for someone who hates him.

before the conversation could go on any longer, tony’s voice came over the intercom as he mentioned the meeting. everyone stopped what they were doing and went to the meeting before tony could argue with them.

everyone grumbled their way to the meeting room and sat in their usual spots next to everyone they usually talked to. you sat next to natasha and wanda per usual wearing your work out clothes.

“i know everyone doesn’t want to be here,” tony began. “but deal with it.” he finished.

he began to explain how the spies in a popular celebrity restaurant and how they were beginning to build nuclear weapons in the basement of this hotel/ restaurant.

“now here’s the kicker,” he sighed. “we can’t really get in, we’re all to recognizable to the public. we need someone new out there.”

everyone began to look around before landing their eyes on you and bucky. you realized what was going on and your eyes widened.

“uhm i’m down to do this,” you raised your hand. “only not with him.” you motioned towards bucky.

“it’s not up to discussion,” tony stopped. “you do this with him and that’s it.”

before any of you could argue with the billionaire, he walked away ending the meeting. you huffed out in frustration as you stood up and walked away.

later that day, you received an invitation to the restaurant. wow thanks tony. you knew it was your time to shine. you had to pull out some emerald green party dress from the back of your closet for this one. you never were the type to party. even before becoming an avenger.

you decided to clean your looks for the night, you did your hair and makeup and felt clean and almost human again. but you snapped out of it and marched towards the meeting room. there you were met with bucky in a all black suit. a blush crept in as it was suited for him, but bucky was also shocked at your appearance, you wore a opened back silky emerald green party dress that hugged your curves amazingly.

he cleared his throat as you were met next to him. “you clean up nice.” bucky grumbled.

“you too, barnes.” you smirked slightly as you both made your way to the limousine with tony inside. he explained the plan simply to both of you.

get away from the party and once done, one goes upstairs to where the terrorists have the launch codes and panels. other goes to the basement and disarms all the guards and somehow eliminates the launch from succeeding. then tony ends explaining with,

“then at the end, both of you get a room and squash this beef you guys have going on by simply sleeping together.” you both stare at tony with disgust and horror as you pull up to the front of the building.

“good god kill me.” you whispered as you got out, tony yelled, ‘use protection!’ causing you guys to become flustered and quickly walk away from the limousine.

both pair of eyes wandered around the room and noticed the fancy party going on. everyone was too focused on their own thing as both you and bucky nodded and split into different directions. you wandered to the elevator towards the upstairs to a specific room.

tony explained how a signal was being traced from the 5th floor and you’d have to use some electromagnetic machine to find them. or whatever tony and bruce explained to you. you discreetly pulled out the small machine from the clutch you held and your hand wandered through the hall, still keeping an eye out for any guests and possible intruders.

your eye caught the door next to the wide balcony opening at the end of the hall. it glowed a dark blue underneath the crack of the white door, illuminating through the hall.

you cautiously pointed the machine and it went crazy. this has to be it. you pulled out your gun from the clutch and you threw it to the side as you pushed the door slightly open. you noticed at least 5 people in the suite. some guy was typing at the large computer and talking in a foreign language towards the guards, clearly not doing their job.

you scoffed softly. these were simply just idiots. you knocked out the first guard easily. it wasn’t too hard to knock out the other big guy too. you decided to tie up the guy way the computer. you needed some answers.

“why nuke the place huh?” you asked as you plugged in the flash drive given to you. you began decoding some firewalls as the terrorist began talking.

“small talk doesn’t suit you,” he smirked. “where’s your boyfriend?” he asked you back.

“i ask the questions here,” you raised a brow. “and he’s not my boyfriend.” you continued typing vigorously as you disarmed the codes.

“good so you won’t mind when we put a bullet between his eyes?” he smirked. you sighed and stopped typing. you turned around and squatted in front of him.

“i may hate the guy,” you began as you grabbed his hair to reveal his beaten face. “but he’s still my teammate. i’m a team player.” you spat as you let go of his face and it hung low as he chuckled dryly.

“you know you’re pretty tough for a who-.” before he could finish the sentence, bucky came in with a gun and silencer. he shot the guy straight and point blank before he could even finish the sentence.

“we have to kill the bad guy you know, y/n.” bucky snarky comment didn’t make you flinch.

“yeah but it was quite fun hearing him talk non stop,” you sighed as you sat back down and began typing yet again. “almost like you.” you smirked. bucky rolled his eyes and watched you breakthrough the firewall.

“why do you hate me?” bucky asked as he examined your beautiful features. you scoffed.

“you should know this.” you replied coldly.

bucky shifted his stance and raised a brow. “yeah but you should know that was just my mind being all freshly blended.” he sighed.

you stopped typing and sat up and turned to face the brunette. “bucky, and i mean this from the bottom of my heart to the bottom of my ass,” you stood up and towered over him. “you are the most stupid and naive man i’ve ever met. you hate where people despise you and yet you never bothered to get to know me. therefore bucky barnes, i hate you.” you put on a fake smile before you sat back down.

“wow...,” bucky blinked completely dumbfounded. “i didn’t know you felt... so strongly about me.” he blinked rapidly.

you slightly scoffed at his comment instead of replying and there was a silence between you two as typing echoes the room.

“got it,” you finally said as you stood up. “finally disabled all the weapons and it should be ready to be removed from basement and just in time for tony and the gang to gather these.” you finally said as you removed the flash drive.

bucky looked at you in awe. how could you gather all your emotions and just focus so easily. you quickly got out of the room and began walking down to the elevator with bucky. the floor began moving downwards as it stopped at the next floor.

some clearly bad guys, loaded the lift and you notice the guns. they were suspecting you two were involved.

“kiss me.” you whispered into his ear. his hairs stood up on the back of his neck at the comment and made his throat go dry.

“w-what?” he whispered back.

“just do it!” bucky grabbed your face and pulled towards him as he began slowly kissing you. you hated to admit that your stomach gave you butterflies. your bodies slowly melted. the bad guys became uncomfortable and just waiting for the lift to finally stop at the next floor.

as they exited and the doors shut, you let go and heaved for air. you let out a sigh as you wiped your face. you looked over at bucky and he had lipstick smeared on his lips. you chuckled a bit as you noticed this and he looked confused.

“you have lipstick smeared everywhere.” you noted as you guys finally made it to the first floor.

bucky blushed as he rubbed off the lipstick on his face and cleared his throat. he didn’t know what that was about but he wanted for more.

you guys finally made it to the parking lot as the car tint delivered stood. tony and the crew should be here any minute, but you two needed to get out before any one shows up. your job was considered done.

you threw the keys at bucky as he swiftly caught them in his natural hand. you waited for him to unlock the door. you began to get into the car and both of you zoomed out of the parking lot.

both of you made it back to the compound and you two finally let loose of the disguise and sat at the bar.

bucky cradled a scotch in his metal hand as you held some vodka and cranberry in your own hand.

crickets could could be heard of how quiet the compound was. it never got this silent. usually someone would start something and it would be a comfort thing after a while. bucky finally broke the silence.

“why did you kiss me?,” he asked sheepishly.

“i mean mostly to get the guards uncomfortable.” you raised a brow.

“yeah but why would you kiss me?,” he questioned. “i mean you could’ve started arguing with me or crying to make them uncomfortable, but instead you kissed me.” you finally noticed it and a blush crept onto your face.

“well uhm.” you started as you were lost for words. “i really don’t know bucky.” you chuckled dryly. you placed your glass onto the marble table as bucky did the same with his.

he strutted to you with any confidence he had from the crazy night or the scotch gave him. he was now next to you.

“admit it,” he suddenly said. “you don’t completely hate me.” he smirked.

your breath hitched in your throat at this. “are you crazy bucky?”

“only for you, doll.” he softly replied as he leaned closer to you.

fuck it.

you gave in and kissing him the second time that night. all the excitement gathered and you let out any hatred you had for him all those years.

“i don’t hate you,��� you breathed out. “i wanted you, but i knew i couldn’t.” you finally let out. it was like a weight lifted with these words.

bucky slightly moaned into the kiss as you jumped up into his arms and wrapped your legs around him. he felt electrified and trapped under your spell.

“i called it.” tony let out. you both quickly pull away and you noticed the gang all standing at the door. you blushed and let go of bucky standing on your feet quickly.

“shut up stark.” steve told him as everyone walked in exhausted as they sat down on the couch.

bucky quickly cleared his throat as he leaned into your ear. “you tasted so sweet.” you coughed at your own saliva (and a bit of his) at this comment.

“you’re so dead barnes.” you whispered towards him.

#bucky barns fanfiction #bucky x female reader #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #fatws bucky #bucky x you #marvel #marvel imagine #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky barns imagine

[hlizr50]

Labor Day Bonus Update: The Raven and the Songbird

Nothing like a holiday giving me an excuse to post the next chapter early. It's one of my absolute favorites.

Read on AO3

Chapter 5

Gwyn yawned, her entire form stretching and tightening. She knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed by Nesta and Emerie, but she just smiled serenely. She had needed this – time to talk and laugh and enjoy good food with her two closest friends in the world. The fae lights were dim, casting the private library in dusky shadow. Book spines were barely visible on the shelves, but she was content to sit and enjoy the conversation. She sighed before turning her focus to her Valkyrie sisters sitting on the floor, finding Nesta with a skeptical eyebrow raised.

“What?”

The eldest Archeron patted her hand on a tufted woolen floor pillow, green like a spring meadow. “Sit, Gwyneth. We need to talk.” Unease coiled in her stomach, but she slid down from the couch, clutching another throw pillow to her chest.

“What do we need to talk about?” Gwyn’s voice was tinier than she’d intended, and she knew the question was ridiculous as soon as she asked it.

“You’re tired. You’re sad. Nesta knocked you on your ass today,” Emerie answered, concern glowing in her dark gaze.

“That doesn’t mean something is wrong with me,” Gwyn giggled, but she knew her mirth was unconvincing. “You both are skilled fighters. Maybe Nesta has just gotten better than me.”

“I haven’t and you know it.”

Gwyn turned her attention to a very interesting tassel on the pillow she held. She could feel the pressure stinging her eyes and tried so hard to push down the tears that had so quickly threatened. She felt gentle fingers at her chin, pulling her gaze until she met Nesta’s gray stare.

“Gwyn. Talk to us. You are our sister. We love you. We’re worried about you.”

Her sisters. The knowledge that she had Nesta and Emerie had kept her going these past weeks, kept her stubborn heart and eyes from giving up. And now it was that care and comfort that unraveled her. She felt the hot trickle down her cheeks as Nesta’s calloused fingers brushed tendrils of hair away from her face. But she couldn’t say the words. She wasn’t one of those females that needed a male to be happy and thrive. She was a powerful warrior, strong and skilled.

“Is it Azriel, Gwyn?” The voice came from her other side, along with a feather-light brush of fingertips down her back. Emerie. Gwyn blinked and took three steadying breaths, allowing the patience and care from her sisters wash over her. It took a few moments before she felt she could form the words she needed.

“He started avoiding me, after the necklace,” her face cooled when Nesta removed her hands and reached down to grasp one of her own. “I let it go on for a few days, but I missed him. We were friends, and he… he helped me when I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes we would talk, most times we would train. After we found out about the necklace he stopped coming out to the ring at night. He would come to the door, and when he saw I was there he would leave. So I cornered him one day after training. It was all so stupid and I just wanted things to go back to normal.”

“What did you say to him?” Emerie asked, her voice soft as velvet.

“I told him that the necklace was a stupid thing to do, but we all do stupid things. I said that Elain and I had both deserved better, but I knew he would be better. I told him that I missed him, that all was forgiven, and then I asked if things could go back to normal.” Gwyn looked back up to Nesta, then turned to Emerie. “He said we were friends, and that everything would go back to normal.” She took a shuddering breath, earning a squeeze on her hand.

“And then he just… disappeared.”

She felt the burning return to her eyes and her throat, recalling that night in the rain when she had desperately wished he would come to her.

“That’s when you started zoning out at training. And punching the post until you were bruised and bleeding,” the Illyrian female realized.

“I knew it was bad when Cassian made you stop,” Nesta mused.

“Twice,” Gwyn confirmed, tears welling again. “I trained hard during the day, harder at night. The effort and pain helped distract me from the loss of his friendship… and from the nightmares.” She stared down at their interlace hands, noting how the low light made Nesta’s and Emerie’s skin contrast so deeply to hers and letting the tears fall in earnest.

“I thought they were better, Gwyn.” The worry lacing Nesta’s voice was thick, and suddenly the priestess felt guilty for keeping it from her… from them. She couldn’t look at them, but clutched their hands.

“They were, but now… it’s been really bad these last few days.” Gwyn sniffled and pulled her hands away from the comfort of her chosen family, opting instead to clutch the tasseled pillow to her chest again. She needed that grip, as if it were the only thing that could hold her together. “Almost a week ago I was in the training ring at night. It had been a difficult day, my hands were throbbing, Merrill was being… well, Merrill. It was raining when I walked out the door, but I needed time and space so I went out and sat in the middle and just let the rain wash everything away. Azriel came to the doorway, the first time since I’d cornered him that day. And… he barely spoke to me. I even said I’d had nightmares almost every day. And… and he told me I should go inside and then he just left.”

Gwyn tucked her knees up to the pillow against her chest and covered her face with her hands. Her body shook, much like it had that night when he’d left her – when something had shifted. Her throat felt so tight around her words. “It’s like something broke then. I stopped going to the training ring, and started working extra to distract myself. And the nightmares,“ she sobbed. She wasn’t ready to admit the terror of her changing dreams, but she was also desperate to tell someone how she had been suffering. “I have the same one every night – of that day at Sangravah. But… but when the general is done, when he tells the other males to continue taking from me…” Her breath sawed in and out of her and she could feel herself tremble. She could barely make her voice work as she uttered the terrible turn that her dreams had taken.

“He doesn’t come for me,” she whispered. The air was so still that she could feel Nesta’s sharp gasp stealing it from the space. “That moment when Azriel slaughtered them – when he saved me – no longer exists. And I have to face the terror of knowing what is coming. The fear and the pain and the horror and the desperation… it all feels just as real as it did that day.”

A pair of strong arms crushed her, and then a second embrace. Gwyn let go of the pain and the fear of those nights alone, afraid of sleep and unable to seek comfort from the only person who had helped keep those dreams at bay. Fingers combed through her hair, stroked up and down her back, soothing her as she cried.

That was all there was, for how long she didn’t know. She just knew heat in her cheeks, trembling, comforting hands at her shoulders, on her back, and in her hair. Then fingers gripped her wrists to pull her hands away from her face. She was sure her skin was red and splotchy, but she looked up to find Nesta’s own watery gaze.

“Gwyn, we will always come for you. All of us, including Azriel. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” the priestess answered with a nod.

“Good. As for the rest of this,” Nesta wiped her eyes and donned an expression not so unlike the days when she was brimming with the power of death. “Azriel is a fucking idiot.” Emerie burst out laughing, causing Gwyn to join with a chuckle of her own.

“I’m so glad I don’t prefer males.” The winged Valkyrie’s eyes glittered with mirth and concern, earning a nose-crinkling smile. Nesta pulled Gwyn’s attention back, pushing her jaw with a finger.

“Azriel is an idiot, but he cares for you. I’m certain of that. I haven’t known him too terribly long, but Cassian has. He’s different with you.”

“Maybe that isn’t a good thing.” Gwyn shrugged. She had thought so, too. But now he seemed to treat her with the same brooding aloofness that he reserved for practical strangers.

“No, I don’t think you understand,” Nesta insisted, reaching up to brush the wetness away from her cheeks. “Cassian and I have had this conversation more times than I can even count. ‘Berdara made Az laugh today’. ‘He couldn’t stop grinning today’. ‘I’ve never heard him banter like that’.”

“Why do you have so many conversations about that?” Gwyn couldn’t help but laugh at the strangeness of that thought, that Nesta and the general would be so invested in her interactions with the spymaster.

“That’s not even the point, Gwyneth,” Nesta huffed. Gwyn stuck her tongue out, still feeling Emerie’s hands softly at her back. “I’m going to kick Azriel’s ass back into line, but…” The priestess could see that Nesta was trying to choose her words, lips pursing  and eyes staring above her. Then those icy eyes came back, full of determination.

“Do you care for him, Gwyn? Or, I suppose, how do you care for him?”

She just stared into Nesta’s eyes for a long moment, trying to find the right things to say. How to express what was churning in her heart. “Of course I care for him. He has become a dear friend.” Her friend’s gaze didn’t falter, daring her to say what she hadn’t admitted to anyone, not even to herself.

“And?”

Gwyn jerked her head, surprised that Emerie also seemed to know that there was more. The Illyrian’s countenance held that same caring determination, waiting with barely concealed expectation. Gwyn could only sigh.

“I… I don’t know. I trust him. Implicitly. He’s the only male I’ve never feared. And he’s beautiful, of course.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” Nesta sighed wistfully. Gwyn giggled and swatted her friend playfully on the shoulder.

“I feel… drawn to him, like we understand each other’s darkness. I should be terrified of him, theoretically, but I can’t be. And if… I don’t know what romance is supposed to be, what a relationship looks like. But I think, if he wanted to try, I would say yes. Without hesitation. Even after what happened at Sangravah,” she admitted. “But first and foremost… I just want his friendship. If that’s the only thing I can have then I’ll be happy.” And that was the truth. She would have him in her life, in whatever capacity. His absence was far too difficult to bear.

An enormous yawn pushed out of her lungs and she clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. Nesta and Emerie laughed, Nesta pushing herself to her feet before offering her hands to Gwyn.

“You need to sleep. Hopefully tonight will be more restful,” she said as she pulled Gwyn to her feet and swiftly gathered her into a hug. She felt Emerie at her back, enveloping her as well. Gwyn could only smile and release a contented sigh, reveling in the love of her chosen sisters. She felt lighter, relieved to have shared the struggles she’d been facing. But then she yawned again, the exhaustion in her bones suddenly the only thing she could feel. Her eyelids drooped and she felt herself losing her battle with sleep even as she stood there, still wrapped in that Valkyrie embrace. As her body became heavy, yet weightless, she couldn’t comprehend the words she heard.

“Ready to crash boys night, Em? I might actually kill him.”

~~~

Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys lounged in the study, each nursing crystal glasses with varying amounts of amber liquid. Azriel studied the cut angles in his glass, the firelight reflecting kaleidoscopes of brightness off the liquor. He’d already had more to drink than usual, not typically one to lose his wits from alcohol. But tonight he had partaken in a bit extra, perhaps in the vain hope that the libations would settle his mind. The roaring thoughts still stormed through him from earlier in the day – guilt, stubbornness, anger, shame.

Of course, the alcohol staunched none of it.

“You seem particularly broody tonight, Az.” Cassian’s amused voice broke through that cyclone and Azriel fixed him with a narrow-eyed glare. His brother just smirked victoriously at him, knowing the truth in his observation. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with that sleepover at the house, would it?”

“Sleepover at the house?” Rhys turned his starlit gaze toward the shadowsinger, but Azriel didn’t have any intention of answering. Cassian, however, so enjoyed irritating him.

“A certain redhead priestess has been acting strangely and Nesta is determined to figure it out,” he drawled, pointed amber gaze fixed on the spymaster. “I think it has something to do with our tall, dark, and brooding brother here.”

“Gwyneth Berdara?” Azriel flicked his eyes toward the High Lord whose brows were arched in surprise. “Why would that have anything to do with you?”

“I’m pretty sure,” Azriel groaned when Cassian began to answer, sinking deeper into the velvet tufts of the oversized armchair, “that the two of them want to be friendlier than friends.”

“Gwyn and I have a professional, platonic relationship. Nothing more,” Azriel growled. He wasn’t in any sort of headspace to deal with Cassian’s ribbing, or to explain it away to Rhys. He looked up to find the Illyrian general had set down his glass and was leaning back casually, crossing his arms.

“Is that so?” Azriel wanted to slap that smug grin off his face. “Is that why you can never keep your eyes off her at training? Is that what’s happening when you grin at her when she gives your shit right back to you? When she makes you throw your head back and laugh?” He could feel the heat rising up his neck and into his cheeks.

“Laugh? Out loud?” The High Lord balked and Azriel rolled his eyes.

“I laugh, thank you very much.”

“Not like that, you don’t,” Cassian countered. Azriel just shook his head as his brother turned to Rhys. “You should see it, Rhys. I never thought I’d see the day – “

“WHERE IS HE?!” A female voice echoed from down the hall.

“Nesta?” Rhys wondered aloud.

“Where is that idiotic overgrown bat? I swear on the Cauldron I’m going to kill him.”

“Yup, that’s Nesta,” Cassian confirmed with a groan. “What the fuck did I do now? I wasn’t even at the house –“

The study doors burst open as Nesta pushed through, gray eyes shimmering with rage. Azriel leaned forward as her gaze fell on him.

“YOU.”

“Me?”

“Him?” Cassian gawked, but then grinned wickedly. “Oh, this is a nice change. I could get used to this.”

“Keep your mouth shut or you’re next,” Nesta snapped as she strode in front of Azriel’s chair. “Azriel, would you care to tell me why I just spent an hour comforting one Gwyneth Berdara while she sobbed in my arms? Any ideas?” His eyes grew wide and his face went slack, unable to comprehend exactly what was happening.

“Nothing to contribute, Shadowsinger? How fucking convenient. Maybe you could tell me why you avoided her even after you told her that things would go back to normal and that you were friends? Or perhaps you could explain why you left her alone in the rain the one time you did actually talk to her, even after she told you her nightmares were bad again?”

“I –“ He didn’t get a chance. Nesta stepped closer.

“Not done, Az. Not even close. Maybe you have an explanation for her working herself into exhaustion at the library to avoid time alone? Or the reason she doesn’t go to the training ring at night anymore?” Azriel just stared, dumbfounded at what she was saying. He pressed himself back into the chair as the honey-haired female placed her hands on the armrests and leaned in so far they breathed the same air.

“Tell me, Azriel,” she whispered, voice thick with emotion and ice, “why every night for the last week she has dreamed of Sangravah. And in that nightmare when that general is finished hurting her, she has to feel the soul-crushing terror of watching the next soldier take his place because you don’t come to save her.” And Nesta pulled a hand back and slapped him.

Azriel knew his eyes were wide as saucers as the breath punched out of him. He barely registered the tingle of pain in his cheek, absorbing what she had told him. Gwyn’s nightmares. Every night. And they had twisted into something even more horrifying.

How could any part of her think that he wouldn’t come for her?

He looked back to Nesta who had backed away. Cassian had risen to comfort her, brushing tears away from her cheeks and murmuring into her ear. Azriel got to his feet and took a measured step toward them.

“Nesta, I –“

“You care for her, don’t you?”

Azriel knew they could see the wetness in his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had been wrong to leave her, wrong about so many things. And he was done denying.

“Of course I do, Nesta. More than I think I can explain right now.”

“Then fix this.” Her voice was colder than his could ever be, a warning that he wouldn’t like what would happen if he didn’t make it right. But he had every intention to.

He was miserable without her.

Azriel gave Nesta a curt nod, turned on his heel, and stalked out of the study. He kept his surprise masked as he passed Emerie, who was leaning in the doorway, also wearing that expression – promising violence for hurting one of their own. He nodded to her, too, acknowledging his part in all of this. Then he practically ran down the hall and through the entrance of the river house, only taking three steps in the night air before taking to the sky.

Straight to the House of Wind.

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[y0itsbri]

Falling for You

ballet au one-shot for @gallavichthings 's a.u.gust

summary: dance instructor mickey! ian keeps messing up the lifts with the dancers, and mickey cannot have his girls injured because of this himbo, even if he is hot. he makes ian stay after class to practice on him -- and he swears there's no ulterior motives. but they're so close and his hands are all over him and he can feel his breath and it is so unprofessional but fuck it.

words: 2k

Mickey had a new guy in his class that wasn't doing... well... by any standards. Alright, the dude sucked. Mickey had been a ballet instructor for several years and not once has he met a dancer as uncoordinated and unbalanced as Ian fucking Gallagher.

Somehow, Ian had managed to not only rip the ballet barre off of the goddamn wall in his attempt at a grand plie, fallen flat on his face after pas de chat gone wrong, but he also managed to launch his fellow ballerinas onto the floor instead of the air.

He was a disaster.

Mickey had better shit to do with his time at the studio than patch up his dancers, and studio, after Gallagher's classes. Svetlana's father would have his ass if she got injured on his watch. And Ian being the only guy in their class, there was no way for him not to share the front-and-center spotlight with Svetlana.

Yeah, Mickey wasn't letting Ian any-fucking-where near Svet if he could help it. At least in his current state. Dude was a piece of work.

Mickey figured he would be a lot more upset about all this if Ian's apologetic puppy dog eyes weren't so goddamn convincing.

Fucking Gallagher.

--

"Ayo, Mands! Come help me with this!" Mickey called, echoing in the studio, now nearly empty besides the Milkovich siblings and a six-foot-tall ginger man looking both utterly clueless and utterly terrified. Mickey was utterly hopeless.

Mandy popped in the doorframe, sliding her shoes on but leaving them untied.

"Can't! I got actual shit to do! I don't live and breathe the studio like your sorry ass. No offense, Ian, my brother is great, please stay. Full offense, Mickey, get a fucking life!"

Mickey was left speechless and slightly embarrassed by Mandy's outburst and only managed to flip her off before she was out the door.

"Charming sister you got there," Ian let a quiet laugh slip before schooling his expression at Mickey's lack of amusement.

Mickey sighed and rubbed his hands down the length of his face for a moment. Ian and Mickey held eye contact a bit longer before Mickey abruptly straightened up and clapped his hands together. The noise startled Ian from his own amused trance.

"Alright, Clifford, how do you feel about private lessons for a little bit until you're not tripping over your own feet?"

Ian stepped forward to argue, but, proving Mickey's point, stumbled over the shoes on the floor in front of him. He didn't miss the way that Mickey's mouth quirked up on the side.

"Can't afford extra classes," Ian shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"It's on me," Mickey swiped his top lip. He didn't miss the way that Ian's gaze lingered on his mouth,"Kinda need you..." really want you, "to, uh, look good..." as if he doesn't already, fucking red-headed alien-looking motherfucker, "on the floor..." of my bedroom, goddamn it, Mick, get it together! "the, uh, dance floor."

Ian paused, considering the way that Mickey was stumbling over his words in a way that one might call endearing, another might call the-worst-fucking-experience-of-his-life.

"I'll do it."

Do me. Seriously, go drink some water, oh my god.

Mickey literally took a sip from his water bottle, hoping that it would at least calm his nerves. He was a professional!

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You free after class?" A pause, "To work on some skills, I mean."

"It's a date," Ian smirked, leaning down to pick up his shoes from the ground in front of him. By the time he was upright again, Mickey had already started walking away, but the blush on his cheeks and the back of his neck could be spotted from a mile away. He was utterly fucked.

--

Mickey yawned and got up from his stretching position on the floor. He walked over to the stereo, systematically knocking his dancer's feet on his way over until they were all turned out and pointed.

"No Orange Boy today?" Svetlana asked, meeting Mickey's eyes with a challenging stare.

Mickey ignored the chorus of "He's so hot!" "Have you seen his arms?" and "Ian's the nicest!" from the rest of the girls.

Svetlana raised her eyebrow in question and Mickey's defenses flew out the window. This goddamn power dynamic was going to be the death of him.

"I put him on private lessons until he's no longer a disruption to the class," he shrugged.

"Aww," one brunette pouted.

"Disruption to class or disruption to tiny bulge in your pants?" Svetlana smirked, earning some scandalized gasps from the other dancers.

Mickey flipped her off, "The fucker made me take out a greater insurance policy with all his accidents, don't be fucking absurd."

A blonde nodded understandingly from the back of the class, "My ankle is still a little funky from the last lift we tried."

Mickey held his arms out in a display of I-told-you-so and Svetlana rolled her eyes.

"Great!" Mickey clapped his hands together, earning the full attention of his class as they hurried to their feet, "Now that all the hot drama is outta the air, let's do a quick warm up combo across the floor. Chasse step pas de bourree double pirouette step arabesque, in 5, 6, 7, 8..."

--

Ian had been waiting outside the studio for the last ten minutes of class, more-so watching his instructor shift around than paying attention to what the dancers were actually doing. That's probably what got him into his current predicament, and he couldn't decide whether that was a curse or a blessing. Mickey's arms flexed as he pointed across the room to call out someone's weak spot.

Yup, it was a blessing.

Oh shit, Mickey was looking his way. Was this a double sided mirror? No, of course not. Why would there be a double sided mirror? Oh, Mickey was definitely staring at him. Fuck. Wait, did he just wink? No way, he must've just blinked. With one eye. Yeah, totally normal. Nothing to overthink, Ian.

Get it together!

--

Mickey dismissed his class five minutes early and it had nothing to do with the Jolly Ginger Giant standing outside his studio.

While most of his dancers wordlessly accepted the easy out, Svetlana stayed back to taunt. "Have fun with private lessons," she sneered, jerking off an invisible cock.

"Choke on it," Mickey retorted tossing her warm-up jacket at her face, which she swiftly caught.

Svetlana turned and made a show of looking Ian up and down, his cheeks turning pink under her intense gaze. She faced Mickey head on, "You will be vegetable stew by the time this man is done with you."

The fuck does that mean?

Sometimes Mickey thought that Svetlana spoke in riddles just to mess with him. He blamed it on the Russian accent, never mind he was part Ukrainian himself. The languages were similar, but not identical, fuck you very much.

But, damn, forget that, Gallagher looked good. He was wearing his usual white tank top and grey sweatpants, but Mickey never got the opportunity to openly ogle in class. Not that that was what he was doing now.

Ian returned the long look appreciatively before stepping closer and Mickey snapped back into professionalism, well as far as professionalism goes, Milkovich-style.

He turned his back on the bane of his pathetic existence and snapped a quick but polite, "Get your shoes on and we can get started."

"Oh, right."

That seemed to be enough to get the gears in Ian's head going again as he dropped his bag to the floor, echoing in the truly empty studio, and dropping down onto the floor himself to secure his ballet shoes, which may as well be clown shoes for as big as his feet were. Mickey fit into the same brand as the girls, but he had to order special for Gallagher.

"Thanks for doing this, Mickey."

Mickey. The way that this man said his name was making him feel all sorts of flustered that he would most definitely deny.

"Mandy said you don't usually make exceptions."

"Gotta catch you up to speed or you're gonna be dancing with the 5 year-olds, man."

Ian tilted his head considering.

Mickey frowned, "Don't do it."

Ian smirked and Mickey had to look away as a grin and blush creeped up on his own face.

"Alright, so we'll start you off with the basics."

Mickey went through their normal class routine, but broke it down slowly, pausing to explain certain positions in details he couldn't afford to spend time with in class, specifically how not to fall. It should have been fairly obvious in his opinion, but Ian still managed somehow. The first few times, he was on the floor before Mickey even knew he was going down.

But the third, Mickey made a mistake. Mickey instinctively reached out to catch him.

As soon as he realized where his hands were, he pulled them off like he'd been burned, which he may have well been. He pulled his gaze to his feet, studying the floor while he composed himself.

"Mickey," Ian waited until he looked up, and then he spoke so quietly, "You can touch me."

And what made things worse was that Ian's dazzling eyes left little to the imagination. They both knew where this was going, and the moment was too intense too quick. The longer their eyes held, the hotter Mickey felt his neck grow.

"Ya know," Ian stepped closer. "To fix my positions..."

Mickey swallowed, "Uh, I think we're done for today."

He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. He never meant them to begin with. But if Ian stayed any longer, Mickey was going to climb him like a tree and that really wasn't under his personal code of professionalism, no matter how loose those terms may be to begin with. It was getting late anyways, he reasoned with himself.

"What about the lifts? That's the important part, right?" Ian questioned, eyes pleading like he would die without this one skill being taught to him by his oh-so-unprofessional instructor.

Mickey sighed. Ya know what? Fuck it.

Mickey sauntered over to Ian, pressed his back to Ian's front, and grabbed one of Ian's massive hands and placed it on his own waist.

Ian gave an experimental squeeze and Mickey softened in his grip.

Ridiculous.

"We're not doing the lift are we?" Ian murmured breathily, hot air making the hairs on the back of Mickey's neck tingle.

"What do you think, Firecrotch?" Mickey pushed his weight back into Ian's chest, which would be the second mistake of the day.

Ian toppled over backwards, landing with a painful sounding thud and sending Mickey down on top of him before he rolled off the the side with a groan.

Ian started laughing and Mickey was concerned. Was this idiot actually fucking concussed this time? He wasn't sure how he would explain this to his insurance company.

Mickey straddled Ian's lap, gently slapping his face, "Are you good, man? Alive?"

"Never better." Ian was still smiling like an absolute goof.

Mickey raised an eyebrow in concern.

"Seriously, I just can't play things cool," Ian raised his hips to grind against Mickey's ass, "Obviously."

"You're an idiot," Mickey rolled his eyes, and all Ian could do was grin and reach up towards Mickey's neck, pulling his down until their lips almost touched, sharing breaths and excitement.

"Maybe," another breath, "But I still got you to fall for me."

It was Mickey's turn to laugh, more of a raspy exhale than anything. His "fuck you" was almost lost between them as they fell together at last.

(side note: this was the lift that they were going to do, so i feel like the hand on the waist makes sense -- gotta have a visual lmao)

#i might have an idea for a sequel/series if anyone is interested: mandy pov of this and another one shot in their relationship era??? #who knows #shameless #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #mandy milkovich #ian x mickey #shameless fanfic #shameless fanfiction #gallavich fanfiction #gallavich fanfic #svetlana yevgenivna #my posts

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Quarters. | 9

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 

prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au. 

authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰

“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”

Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy. 

Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.

”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.

“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”

“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”

“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”

“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”

You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.

His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.

“What kind of break?”

Are there different kinds?

“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”

“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.

“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”

“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”

“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”

“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”

“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”

“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”

The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.

*

“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”

“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”

“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”

“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.” 

He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon. 

“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.

“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.” 

“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”

“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”

“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”

“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”

“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”

Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”

“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”

“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”

“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”

“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.

“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”

“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year. 

“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”

Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there. 

“Hm,” 

“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.

“Yup.”

“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”

You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.

“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.

You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.” 

It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..

During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be. 

“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”

“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.

“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?

“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends. 

“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”

“Jungkook will love that.”

You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”

“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”

Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”

“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.

“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”

“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.

“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”

in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.

It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.

“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.

Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”

“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?” 

Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”

“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.

Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.

*

“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.

Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”

“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”

“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″

Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.

“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.

“What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”

You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort. 

Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with? 

”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”

”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”

“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”

“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.

Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.

“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?”  “Me? Um, I guess but-”

You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.

“Jungkook is here.”

“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.

“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”

“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.

“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”

“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”

“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”

That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.

“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”

“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.

Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.

“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”

“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.

“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”

“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.

“Sorry!-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look. 

“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”

“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”

“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.

Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,

“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”

“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind. 

He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.

While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.

“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”

“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.

”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt. 

“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”

“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”

”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/

”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.

“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you. 

“Do you want to break up?” 

He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.

“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.

He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.

“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”

“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.” 

“How can I gain your trust?”

You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”

All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.

“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders. 

“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.

“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”

“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised. 

“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”

The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.

“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”

“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes. 

“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”

“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”

Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.

”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.

”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.

”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”

“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.

“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”

“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”

Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful. 

Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.

*

*

At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”

She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”

”No.”

“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “

“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”

”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“

”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.

”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.

”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.

You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?

Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach. 

As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall.  You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times. 

All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.

”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside. 

The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed. 

He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”

You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?” 

“I did, you looked beautiful-”

“I’m quitting.”

He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”

You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”

“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”

“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.

“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”

You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?” 

You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...” 

He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.

“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You’ll never forget that night. 

He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.

“Yes it is...” 

“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him. 

“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.

You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.

“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”

You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did,  didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.

He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.

“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”

You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.

“Okay, open.”

When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”

“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”

You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”

“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”

“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?” 

“Maybe...”  

You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.

*

A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to  ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.” 

His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.

“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.

“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I signed us up for couples therapy.”

“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.

”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”

“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”

”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”

You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”

When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.

“Hi, how can I help you?

“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”

You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.

“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...” 

“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed. 

“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?” 

“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.

You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’

“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.

“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.

“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.

“What about you, Y/n?”

You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.

“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.

“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”

“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”

Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”

“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.

“Why not?”

“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...” 

Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”

“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”

“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”

“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.

”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”

”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”

”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.

”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”

“What kind of intimacy?”

“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”

“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”

“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”

Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?” 

“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him. 

“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”

“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.

“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”

You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening. 

“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”

“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.

“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his. 

“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.” 

Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next. 

“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated. 

“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.

“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you. 

“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.” 

“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”

“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together. 

“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car. 

“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her. 

”Hi, how are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”

“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”

“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.

”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.

”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks.  he’s not my- We’re not married.” 

”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.

When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.

”You feeling okay?” He questions gently. 

You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you. 

“Where do you want to eat?” 

“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.

The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.

“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”

“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”

“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”

“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.

“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”

“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.

“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.

“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”

“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”

“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”

“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.

“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”

“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”

“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”

“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”

“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car. 

“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”

*

*

Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new. 

But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.

“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”

“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”

“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home, is something wrong?”

“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.

“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”

“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”

The conversation  ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.

“Everything okay?”

“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”

“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.

“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”

”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.

”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.” 

You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?

“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”

“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.

“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”

“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?” 

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.

“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”

“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.

“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”

With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.

Baby steps. 

Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt. 

*

When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took. 

It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.

“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”

“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,” 

“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.

“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”

“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”

“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”

“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.

“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”

“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”

“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,” 

You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now. 

He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.

“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.

“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.

You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.

“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”

Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens. 

#quarters #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x you #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jungkook boxer!au #jungkook au #jungkook ice skatin #I don't know what this ending is lol

[sevlgi]

bubblegum pop

requested: no

group: twice

pairing: sana x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: rich girl!sana, college!au, cashier!reader.

warnings: none

synopsis: An unfortunately hostile encounter with the school’s sweetest rich girl might just lead to more than you ever expected.

a/n: inspired by @pearicot​‘s mean girl rosie series! (by the way, i’m not trying to feed into the “dumb sana” stereotype with this; i just thought that her personality fitted the character i was trying to achieve! does anyone wanna request continuations or scenarios in this universe 👀

word count: 3.3k

Something about Mondays the week of finals always got you in a bad mood, especially when you had  to work double shifts at the same stupid ice cream shop you’d worked at for the past 2 years of college. 

So maybe, just maybe, there was reasoning behind you snapping at the love of your life during your first meeting.

Actually, there really, really wasn’t.

There were plenty of mean girls on campus who you wouldn’t regret yelling at whatsoever, but you just happened to blow up at one of the considerably nicer rich girls.

Minatozaki Sana didn’t mean anything bad when she innocently held out a hundred dollar bill to pay for a $5 ice cream. She didn’t mean to seem pretentious, nor did she mean to mock you and your minimum-wage job, but you just so happened to take it that way.

“Really? You have to rub it in my face like that?”

Sana stared at you, the money that she held out wavering in the ear. “Sorry?”

Pinching the space between your eyebrows, you huffed out an exasperated breath. Luckily, there was no one else in the shop about to witness the stupidest meltdown of your life. “You think I don’t know that I’m poor? It’s five dollars for God’s sake, no need to bring out the big guns. Oh, or are you doing this to avoid seeming more pretentious with your daddy’s black card?”

The brunette’s hand retreated quickly, the heels of her Louboutins clacking softly against the pastel-toned linoleum of the ice cream shop. Fuck, you hated that linoleum. “I... I didn’t mean any of that, I swear! Um, is there an ATM near here?”

Once again, the girl meant well, and you took it badly. You scoffed, glaring disbelievingly at her. Some part of you was screaming out that you were putting your entire job at stake, and your morals as well, but you disregarded any common sense remaining in your brain. “An ATM for 5 bucks? Dude, just don’t.” Dipping your hand into the tip jar, you scrounged out a lousy crumpled bill and threw it down on the counter, shoving the bubblegum-flavored sweet to Sana. “Okay? Now get out, I don’t want to see your privileged ass anywhere near here.”

The dense gray clouding your mind somehow missed the hurt expression on the girl’s face as the staff door swung open. Wendy’s hands, though gentle on your shoulders, shoved you behind her with surprising force. “I am so sorry, Sana, it’s finals week. Surely you can understand? The ice cream’s on the house.”

“No, of course it’s okay!” Sana sounded genuine enough, that was for sure; you caught her glancing worriedly at you a couple times, nothing malicious whatsoever in her eyes. “I can pay though, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. See you in class,” Wendy called out, smiling all the while until the girl disappeared into the Lamborghini parked by the curb. As soon as that happened, she turned back to you, concern tugging at the corner of her lips. “Y/N...”

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled as you crossed your arms. Already, you were regretting what you said, though you were far too stubborn to actually apologize on the spot. “No arguing with customers about capitalism. Sorry, Wendy.”

The girl bit her lip, scanning the store to make sure that there wasn’t about to be an influx of customers. Usually she enjoyed working with you; you just had absolutely terrible mood swings sometimes, and those days were nothing short of hellish for her to deal with. “Just head home. Focus on your finals, and come back next week. Okay?”

You hesitated to agree, knowing that you needed the money, but the grim expression on Wendy’s face told you that you had no other option. “Okay. Sorry.”

As you snatched up your stuff and shoved the door to the street open, you missed the sight of Sana watching you through the tinted windows of her 6-figure car.

“Really? Sana?”

“I know,” you groaned, biting down on the plastic spoon in your mouth. The flavor of the month (the only one you could eat completely free) lingered unpleasantly on your tongue, the taste of it oddly salty. “She was so nice about it, too.”

Jeongyeon and Mina exchanged glances, not touching their respective cups of “Ocean Caramel” either. It was extremely kind of them to come and accompany you on the slow days, both of them even offering to suffer through the gross ice cream with you.  “If it was Park Roseanne I might understand, but Sana,” Mina winced. Jeongyeon nodded in agreement; after all, everyone on campus knew about the reputations of Roseanne and Sana.

On one end of the “rich girl” spectrum, Roseanne was quite possibly the bitchiest one of all. She and her Bugatti Veyron, the college upgrade from her old McLaren, absolutely weren’t to be messed with. People who went to high school with you often told story of the G Wagon she smashed, the locker room she lit on fire, and so many other horror tales of a spoiled girl gone wild. You were sure that had you gone off on her, even Wendy wouldn’t have stopped you.

But on the other end, Sana was notoriously kind. Sure, her family raked in an income close to that of the other girl’s, and her wardrobe was just as expensive, but she made a point to donate to charities every time she went shopping. She tipped in the hundreds, and she didn’t ever ask for her designer clothes back when she lent them to strangers. She paid any dinner bill in full when she was there, and sometimes even when she wasn’t invited.

No one was entirely sure about the relationship between the two, but Roseanne seemed to hate Sana more than she did other people. The two fought publicly occasionally, but Sana’s kind heart made it so that even Roseanne couldn’t carry a fight very long. She didn’t respond to insults, it seemed, nor did she ever seem to actually take them personally. 

Stirring her half-melted soup, Mina continued, “Hopefully she doesn’t hold it against you. She doesn’t seem like the type, but...”

Jeongyeon shook her head, opening her mouth just as the doorbell rang. You froze when you looked up to find a designer-dressed bombshell, a sweet smile outlined in Chanel Rouge Allure. She looked completely out of place amidst tired college kids spending their last paycheck on ice cream, white gauzy sleeves and blue dress shimmering under LED lights. If you were being honest, you’d say that she was the most beautiful person you’d seen in your life, but you were always well versed in lying to yourself. “Y/N, you better go.”

“Why?” you whined, pouting at your much more responsible friends. They ignored your puppy face, though; Jihyo was usually the only one you could sway, Momo sometimes if she was feeling merciful. “I’m on break.”

“Only when there’s no customers,” Mina argued, shoving you to stand. Jeongyeon smiled at you, waving you away. “Go, and don’t screw it up this time.”

You forced a smile onto your face when you reached the counter, bowing and adjusting your name tag. “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

“Hi, Y/N!” Sana grinned, bowing back. The fact that she remembered your name only made your guilt worse; if she forgot who you were, you could at least pretend that she didn’t remember the incident at all. “Ah, could I have the same thing as last time? Bubblegum Pop ice cream, on a sugar cone today. 3 scoops?”

Nodding, you moved to open the case, avoiding the girl’s gaze as you did. “Of course.” She was quiet at that, staring at the ceiling so as not to rush you. Without prompting, you blurted, “I’m... I’m really sorry about last week, by the way. I don’t know what I was thinking, blowing up at you like that.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay!” she protested, waving a manicured hand in the air. “I promise I understand you. We all have our bad days.”

You wanted to apologize again, if just to assuage your guilt, but you held off on it, joking, “How do you deal with them? Yell at Gucci assistants?”

Sana looked honestly offended as she accepted the cone proffered to her, eyes widening in shock. “I’ve never done that, I swear! Besides, I don’t like Gucci much.”

A light smile quirking at the corners of your lips, you handed the receipt to her as well. She didn’t ask for it, probably not caring about the measly price or having the space for it in her tiny bag, but took it anyway. “I’m sure you don’t. Your total is $5.23, will that be cash or card?”

“Cash!” She held out a 10 dollar bill, pride shining behind that gorgeous face as you raised your eyebrows in surprise. When your hands brush together, you were reminded of how much better she was than you, how you probably weren’t worthy at all to be touching her with your shop-issued baseball cap and grimy apron. But Sana doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling that airy smile at you and not moving away. She broke your stare by offering, “I don’t want to sound rude, but keep the change.”

“Not rude at all,” you fully laughed that time, dishing out the remainder to stuff in your tip jar. You still felt terrible that she felt the need to apologize about such a normal comment, asking, “Are you sure it’s okay? You can have this one free too, if it makes up for me shouting at you...”

Sana shook her head, sugary light pink already mixing into her lipstick. She walked away, still waving with that gorgeous smile on her face. “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon, Y/N, you look really pretty today!”

Turning back to your friends, you whispered, “Damn. She’s really nice.”

You planned on spending your one day off from school and work cozied up with a good book and your favorite hot drink, but you supposed that getting into a fight with Park Roseanne wasn’t the worst way to go either.

As soon as you entered campus, book in hand and blasting music in your earbuds, you found a crowd of at least 3 dozen people right in front of the library building. It was unlike you to butt into others’ business, especially when it might lead to a ruined day, but Roseanne’s voice carried loud over the hushed whispers of everyone else. “--huh, Sana?”

It wasn’t any of your business, but for some reason, Roseanne’s tone when saying Sana’s name angered you immensely. Frowning, you shouldered your way through the crowd. The closer you got to the center, the more expensive the clothing that brushed against your own rough jean jacket was, cotton and leather becoming silk and velvet. You originally planned to just fit in with the other spectators, but with a shove at the small of your back, you were thrust into the center too.

To your shock, Sana’s eyes were red and shining with tears, the tip of her nose cherry-colored as well. Her head was almost bowed as she stared at her shoes, but she looked up to you when you almost bumped into her. You stuttered out, “H-hey. What’s going on?”

Instead of an explanation from the Japanese girl, though, your gaze was drawn to the blonde across the courtyard. “Didn’t you hear? Little Miss Perfect here got broken up with,” Roseanne scoffed, an infuriating smirk on her perfect face as she tilted her head at you. “By a future CEO, no less. I guess she isn’t a gold-digger, or maybe there’s some other reason that he didn’t want her anymore.”

Your hand shot out to protect Sana, a scowl making its way onto your own face. “Excuse me? From my standpoint, any future CEO is still way outta her league, so forgive me for doubting that he’s the one who didn’t want her. You’re the one dating someone who makes a tenth of what you do.”

Roseanne rolled her eyes, lips thinning. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that, Y/L/N, or you’ve got another thing coming. There aren’t many lesbians in this damn school.”

“You know me, don’t you?” Sana’s voice was wavering as she spoke, but it was strong enough to echo in the courtyard. To your surprise (and somewhat satisfaction), the blonde  girl’s eyes widened as Sana stood forward, her lips jutting forward. “That’s why I’m not dating him anymore. I like girls, too.”

Somehow, you’d never expected that Sana was attracted to girls, but it made perfect sense. An irrational part of you wanted to cheer, but instead, you forced yourself to speak.

“R-right.” You continued to glare at Roseanne, who finally seemed to be speechless. “Yeah, so how come you’re tearing Sana down? We should be supporting each other, but you’re being so rude to someone so kind, and that says all I need to know about you.”

Reaching out, you latched onto Sana’s upper arm and pulled her out of the circle, people parting to let the two of you through as Roseanne wasn’t able to conjure up something to respond with. You didn’t stop walking until there was only silence surrounding you under the shade of a swaying tree, finally stopping to let the girl sit. “Are you okay?” you asked, brow furrowed as you knelt to be mostly face-level with her.

Somehow, there was a smile on her face; a slightly snotty smile, but nonetheless the most beautiful one you’d ever seen in your life. You ignored the uncomfortable leap of your heart when you reached out to take her hands into your own, somehow forgetting about the hostility you’d felt towards her from the beginning. “You- you stood up for me.”

“Yeah. I did, I guess,” you shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’m sure that was rough, though, to come out. How’re you feeling?”

“Honestly, much better,” Sana sighed. She leaned back, fingers curling slightly around yours as the afternoon sun shone golden brown in the locks of hair spread out on her shoulders. “It was good to get it off my chest. I didn’t even know you were into girls, you know.”

Reaching up to scratch your head, you chuckled, “Well, I am, if it makes you feel any better. What happened between the two of you, by the way? She seems to hate you so much.”

The girl laughed, as bubbly and airy as her regular voice. “I may or may not have dated her girlfriend before. But it was a long time ago, and I’m still friends with her! Roseanne just can’t forgive me.”

You feigned shock, swatting at her arm. “How terrible of you! I’m so disappointed.”

You were stuck simply smiling at each other for a good minute or so before you looked away, picking at your shoelace for something to do. “So. Uh, Roseanne knew the whole time?”

“She did,” Sana confirmed, nodding. “She just never talked about it.”

“Well, it’s good to know that she isn’t the only other one in the school with me,” you sighed, sitting back on your heels.

Sana lurched back forward, hands clasping together at her chest. “Then we should celebrate! We can go shopping or something, and we can just be happy that we aren’t alone anymore.”

It suddenly struck you how quickly you could change the girl’s entire outlook, a smile coming onto her face with no effort from you whatsoever. But even more surprising, you smiled even larger than she did just looking at her. 

Laughing, you sat back on your heels and shook your head lightly. Seeming to take it as a rejection, Sana’s eyes widened. “Oh, only if you want to, of course! We can go wherever you want, we don’t even have to go shopping if you don’t want to!”

“No, we can go shopping,” you answered, reaching back over to squeeze her hand and pulling her up with you when you stood. “Come on, then. Let’s go celebrate.”

Sana wasn’t a great driver, but you didn’t expect much else. You were practically sick to your stomach by the time that you reached the mall, face green as you swayed out of the car.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m sorry!” Her hands rubbed lightly at your back as you squatted in the parking lot, fist held tight to your mouth. It wasn’t like you were actually going to throw up, but you didn’t want to risk ruining the girl’s expensive shoes. “I’ll let you drive next time.”

Next time? you wanted to ask. But you managed to stand, nodding quickly to ease Sana’s worry. “Yeah. It’s fine, I’m fine. Should we go?”

Immediately, she latched onto your hand, swinging between the two of you as she started to rush forward. “H-hey, lock your car first!”

Sana had unsurprisingly expensive tastes, but also surprisingly understated ones. She was fun to shop with, that was for sure- she loved to offer you clothes and also to offer to pay for them, but you didn’t necessarily hate a pretty girl telling you you’d look gorgeous in a certain sparkly dress.

She didn’t do any of the typical stuck-up things you expected her to- Sana carried her own bags, and she never forced you to follow her instead of doing what you wanted to. She did like to try on outfits and show them to you, but that could be ignored when it was just another opportunity for you to stare at her.

Eventually, you ended up having ice cream at one of the stores in the mall. You balked at the price, but Sana swiped her credit card without hesitation. “I have to admit, this bubblegum doesn’t taste as good as yours,” she pouted.

Chuckling, you savored the rich flavor on your own tongue. “You should’ve picked an expensive flavor then. Vanilla and chocolate are always good in these kinds of stores.”

“You know a lot about ‘these kinds of stores’ for someone who claims to be poor,” she teased, eyes widening as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” you smiled, leaning on your palm. “I’m good with it, since we’re friends now.”

Sana grinned at that, her eyes curving charmingly. “We’re friends? Most people don’t want to be friends with me, I’m really glad you’re willing to.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

Looking down for once, the girl mumbled, “They say I’m dumb. You know that everyone says I’m nice, but they also think I’m dumb because I pay for everything. I just want to be kind, but no one takes me seriously.”

A wave of guilt rushed over you for previously feeding into the stereotype. The more time you spent with Sana, the more you realized that she was as brilliant as any other, and far more kind. “Well, that’s stupid. You are kind, Sana, and you’re amazing. I’m lucky to be your friend.”

She clasped your hand over the table, soft skin warm over yours, pink flushing in her pale cheeks. “Thank you, Y/N. You know, this is the best time I’ve had in a while. My boyfriend didn’t even listen to me this well,” she laughed.

Despite the fact that she treated it as a joke, you felt horrible. She was all too used to thinking the worst about herself and not believing that she was worth any better, and that was the worst possible thing you could imagine for a girl with a heart of gold. Jabbing your spoon into the remaining ice cream, you blurted, “Then go on a date with me. A proper one, not just a normal hangout like this.”

Sana instantly blushed, looking down as if it’d hide her face at all. But she missed the heat that rose to your cheeks too, the nervous biting of your lip as you waited for a response. “I would love nothing more,” she smiled, her eyes shining brilliantly. “And I can’t wait.”

#twice #twice sana #sana #minatozaki sana #sana x reader #sana imagines #sana scenarios #sana icons #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #girl group fanfic #twice fanfic #twice icons #twice imagines #twice x reader #twice scenarios #twice reactions #twice incorrect quotes #twice hcs #twice minatozaki sana

[twdeadfanfic]

Vows Pt.5

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Series Summary:

The last battle with Negan doesn’t go as it should, with Negan coming on top, and so reader, Daryl’s girlfriend, offers herself as a wife to Negan if he doesn’t kill Daryl or anyone else. Negan accepts, he won’t kill anyone but will take reader as a wife, and he’ll take Daryl and some of the others to the Sanctuary as prisoners, promising not to hurt anyone if reader is one of his wives and the communities work for him.

This has both flashbacks to reader and Daryl’s story since meeting to now, and the present with reader living at the Sanctuary as a wife, trying to keep Daryl and their people safe, and she and the other wives dealing with Negan, plotting… (This is not a Negan x reader fic!)

90% of this chapter is the second part of the flashback from last chapter, when Daryl and reader met pre-show.

A couple more days passed, two, three, you weren’t sure, the days blurred a bit when you stayed inside that room doing the same every day. You were allowed to leave, if one of the guards went with you and you told Negan beforehand and why, but nobody usually bothered. There wasn’t much to do or to see at the  Sanctuary anyway, just sadness.

Frankie had left today, she was going to see her brother, she was allowed to go talk to him every other day, she kept Negan happy with her massages and with everything else. When she came back, she seemed mad, closing the door behind her with a loud bang, startling you all.

“Where’s that prick?!”

“She’s in the bedroom with Tanya…” Lila said and Frankie didn’t say anything, making her way to the door, seeming murderous angry, but Abby stepped in front of her, stopping her and grabbing her arms,

“What happened?”

“That prick has my brother working on the fence! I almost saw him getting bitten! I fuck that prick, my brother shouldn’t have to do shit like that!” Frankie yelled, fuming. “Get out of my way!”

Frankie tried to walk past Abby and to Negan’s bedroom, but Abby grabbed her arms again, dragging her back. “Whatever you want to do, don’t! You know what will happen! He’ll kill you, your brother, and everyone else of your family!”

Frankie struggled again, but then the door opened and Negan walked inside, half-dressed, with Tanya following him, looking at all of you wide-eyed.

“What the hell’s going on?! What’s all that fucking noise and yelling?!” Negan asked, and then he noticed Frankie and Abby, who was still grabbing her arms.

You were afraid that Frankie was going to do something, but it seemed that Abby has gotten to her and she didn’t say anything. She broke free from Abby’s grasp and went to her room, ignoring Negan.

Negan frowned at Frankie’s closed door and then looked at Abby. “What was all this shit about?”

“She and I…we just had a disagreement, nothing to worry about.” Abby shrugged.

“A disagreement?” Negan rolled his eyes. “Women, can’t live together without can fighting over shit.” He chuckled. “What have I told you all about that? Not unless you’re naked in front of me and covered in oil.”

“I’ll remember it for the next time.” Abby winked at Negan and gave him one of those seductive smiles that you didn’t know how she could pull off like that.

“What were you fighting about anyway, girls,” Negan said while pouring himself a glass of whiskey and flopping down onto an armchair.

“This.” Abby waved at herself. “It’s one of the new dresses that you brought us from Alexandria. Frankie said that she wanted it but I think it looks way better on me…it’s not my fault that Frankie doesn’t have these boobs.” Abby shrugged and you almost clapped at the act.

“Abby, sweetheart, you look fucking delicious.” Negan looked her up and down, smirking. “But, fighting over a dress? You all have more than enough, can you all girls play nice and share?”

“Share?” Abby moved closer to Negan, and then she straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and making Negan smile wider. “I’d say we share enough here…”

“Mmm…someone’s getting jealous?” Negan purred and Abby shrugged before kissing him, and you really did not want to watch them making out, but it was also kind of fascinating to see Abby like that, when she was all the time talking shit about Negan. You wondered once again how these women did it.

“I know I’m the best fuck in here anyway…admit it,” Abby murmured as he started to kiss Negan’s neck.

“Now, now, darling, that’s not a nice thing to say in front of all my other wives…” Negan said, placing her hands on Abby’s hips.

“Maybe I’ll show them, then…” Abby began to rock on Negan’s lap, grinding on him, and you finally looked away, wondering if they were just going to fuck there. That’d be a first, but it wouldn’t really surprise you.

“Sounds tempting but I don’t want more jealousy and catfights.” You heard Negan saying and you wondered if he really thought that any of you would care if he fucked someone else and spared you.

You heard Negan moving and Abby chuckling, and you looked at them. He had gotten up, lifting Abby with him, her long legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his neck, and he walked to his bedroom.

“Well…” Tanya began once the door was closed and they were gone. “He can be a smart guy sometimes, but most times his cock takes the wheel…which is fortunate.” You had to snort and agree with that.

The door of Frankie’s room opened and she walked out and flopped onto one of the couches.

“You almost got yourself and everyone you love killed,” Noemi scolded her.

“I know,” Frankie muttered. “Won’t happen again.”

“Hey, Frankie,” Lila called for her. “You do have nice boobs too, so don’t let that get to you.”

Frankie snorted, throwing one of the couch’s pillows to Lila, who just caught it and placed it behind her head as he shifted to lie down on the couch, smiling.

*

Abby didn’t come back until dawn. You were sleeping with the door of your bedroom open and you woke up when she got into the main room. You got up and went to join her, finding her drinking from a wine bottle in one of the couches, and he offered it to you when you sat down next to her.

“You were in there for a long while today,” you said, taking a sip from the bottle before giving it back to her. Wine for breakfast. Why not.

“Yeah, he fell asleep, I spent him.” Abby snorted. “And he doesn’t want us leaving when he’s asleep, says we can’t walk away from him.” She rolled her eyes. You wouldn’t know, he always had someone else after he was done with you. “So I had to wait for him to wake up.”

You hummed. “Quick thinking, back there. It was a nice thing to do, to cover for Frankie.”

Abby shrugged. “Nothing that she wouldn’t have done for me.” You guessed so. You had found that these women were protective over each other, and you were starting to feel like that. “Besides…I get her. If Negan’d have pulled some of that shit on my sister, I go in there and smash this bottle on his head.” Abby lifted the bottle of wine. “You don’t have siblings, right?”

“No…Daryl had a brother, Merle…Daryl was very protective of him too, despite Merle being a major ass…”

Then…

It had taken Daryl and you two days to find his brother, while it should have been less than a day, but the road that you were following was clogged with cars and walkers, and you were forced to take detours and even get into the woods with the bike from time to time. You never went to the main roads, Daryl told you that those were full of traffic jams of people trying to get to the city and the camps, attracting walkers. Part of you thought that maybe it’d be better to go to one of those roads, find more people, get to a camp, but you weren’t about to go on your own, and Daryl was only focused on getting to his brother.

You weren’t unarmed anymore, Daryl had given you a big knife, and he had even shown you how to use it, not only so you wouldn’t end up just hurting yourself, but so you could kill any walker that stumbled to you too. He seemed fearless, often going to put down walkers instead of just ignoring them, seeming to really hate those monsters. You were still scared of them, and you had put down one with your knife, listening to Daryl’s instructions, but you weren’t very confident in your ability. You didn’t know how Daryl could be so good at it.

As you had noticed, Daryl was rough and harsh with words, not that he spoke much. His way of speaking to you and his tone annoyed you sometimes, but at the same time, you knew that not only had he given you a knife and trained you with it, he kept you safe in more ways. He watched your back, always had you under his sight, making sure that you weren’t near threats alone, even if he acted like he didn’t care, and hunted to feed you both. He was rude, sure he was, but he hadn’t tried anything inappropriate and he didn’t ask anything for his help. In a way, it felt good to know that you had watching your back someone who seemed to be good at surviving and who made sure that you survived too, no matter that he acted like he didn’t care or how harsh he could be.

On the second day, you arrived at the town nearest to the prison where his brother should have been taken. You had stopped before riding too close, on an elevation from which you could see the town, and even from afar you could see several groups of walkers roaming the streets.

“Shit…” Daryl muttered, getting off the bike and walking back and forth while he kelp looking at the town.

“There might be people hauled in any of the buildings,” you suggested, you didn’t want to give Daryl false hopes, but in just two days, you had seen how important his brother Merle was to him, and you didn’t like to see him discouraged like that. “But we can’t ride in.”

“I can,” Daryl said, getting into the bike again.

“Daryl, it is suicide.”

“Stay here if you wanna, I’m going.”

“Daryl.” You stopped in front of the bike, even if you weren’t totally sure that Daryl wouldn’t just run you over, and you grabbed the handlers, while Daryl glared at you. “You can’t ride in, every group of walkers will go to you, you can’t fight them all on your own, or with me. You know it.”

“Then what the fuck do you want me to do!”

“I don’t know…we’ll think something, we’ll come up with a plan,” you said, sounding unconvincing. You believed that Daryl’s brother was dead, like all your friends and family, but you didn’t know how to break it to him without making him freak out.

Merle wasn’t dead, though, and suddenly, he had come out of the woods near Daryl and you. Daryl’s head snapped towards the sound and you followed his gaze, finding Merle. If Daryl had seemed rough, that was nothing with how his brother looked. You were about to freak out, wondering if the stranger was dangerous, when Daryl spoke.

“Merle!” Daryl jumped off the bike, going to his brother.

“I was sure had heard my bike, I’d recognize that purring anywhere,” Merle said. “I told you not to touch it, lil’ bro.”

“Wasn’t done fixin’ mine…what…are you okay?” Daryl seemed almost as shocked as you at his brother appearing out of the blue.

“I’m fine, lil’ bro...you too, uh? I knew it. We Dixons are hard, even you.” Merle chuckled as he wrapped an arm around his brother, and then he looked at you. “Well, well…look at that…you got yourself a bitch, baby bro?”

“Excuse you?” You snapped.

“That’s, uh…that’s Y/N…” Daryl said, walking to you again. “Found her at the road, her town was full of those dead assholes, so I took her with me.”

“Keepin’ yourself entertained, I see…” Merle chuckled, looking you up and down with a smirk, and you didn’t like the way in which he was talking at you or what he was implying, but before you could snap, Daryl spoke again.

“What the hell happened to you, Merle?”

“The guards were taking me to prison when we run into a group of those things on the road. They went to inspect what was going on, weren’t that smart, one ended with her throat tore open, the other bitten,” Merle began to explain. “I managed to convince him to unshackle me, I thought that prick was goin’ to leave me there. We killed the ones on the road, but we saw another group comin’ from the town, they’re attracted to the sound,” Merle kept going, and by now you had figured that too.

“We got into the woods, found a warehouse near, seemed a good place to hide. The guard died that night and when I realized, he had turned into one of those things,” Merle said, and Daryl had already told you that he thought that if you were bitten, you turned into one of those. This seemed to confirm it. “So I put him down. That was…three days ago? Ain’t sure. I’m still at the warehouse, but I was about to leave today, go back home…but…” He took a look at the town. “Fuck me…there weren’t half as many the last time.”

“Our town is full of those too, we can’t go back there,” Daryl explained.

“Everything is full of them, they’re everywhere, more every day,” you said. “We should go to one of those military camps…they said that there was one near Atlanta, we can’t be far from it now.”

The Dixons looked at each other. “Come on, to the warehouse,” Merle said. “Safest place for now.”

You all spent almost a week at the warehouse, before a big group of walkers had arrived, threatening to trap you in there forever, and so you all had to rush out. The Dixons had put down a few walkers that had gotten too close, and you had managed to put down one even if you were scared, for which you were quite proud.

There had been a pickup near and Merle had driven the bike onto the open back of it, and then you both had rushed into the cabin, driving away, hitting secondary roads and even paths through the woods, where you camped for days.

All that meant, that you had to spend almost two weeks alone with the Dixons, before you’d end up finding the quarry camp…if it had been only Daryl, you guessed it wouldn’t have been that bad, even if he was brash, but Merle…Daryl seemed prince charming indeed in comparison to his brother.

Merle was loud, obnoxious, and just a major prick, who wanted to be in charge of everything and talked down to Daryl and bossed him around in a way that you were sure if it were another person, Daryl would chop off their head. But he just took it from his brother. Merle never shut up, only when he was asleep, always giving his opinion on everything, sputtering nonsense and bullshit adorned with sexism, racism, and everything else along those lines, besides crude and perverted comments towards you, only to dismiss it as being joking when you snapped, but you knew better.

Besides all that, you knew that he had a bag full of different kinds of drugs, and it wasn’t unsual to find him high. When you had told Daryl, he had gotten angry, telling you to “mind your fucking business.” He had been harsh with you before, but not the way he was now when it involved his brother.

Every time that Merle opened his mouth, you wanted to sew it closed or punch him, or both. But every time that you talked back or snapped, or you two argued, Daryl would take his brother’s side and snap at you too, and you were more than fed up with it.

You had thought that Daryl was rough and harsh, sure, but not that he was a major asshole…which now you weren’t sure about, and you hated how whenever Merle said something sexist, racist, or anything like that, Daryl didn’t say anything against it, and you had caught him a few times repeating his brother’s words, as if he thought like that too.

You were tired and done with that, and the fact that the Dixons were alive people, the only alive people around, it seemed, in a world that looked full of dead monsters, wasn’t feeling enough to stick around anymore. Besides, every time that Merle did an inappropriate joke, you felt more and more uncomfortable, and so, one day, after Merle said something so sexist that even Daryl had seemed uncomfortable, you decided that you’d leave and try your luck, follow the signals to Atlanta, see if you found a group of alive people out there.

You were camped at the woods, the Dixons had made a perimeter with cord, hanging stuff that’d make noise if walkers approached.  You had to admit that you had learned a good fair of survival tips in your days with the Dixons. Merle was asleep after having gotten high and Daryl was taking watch.

“I’m gonna pee,” you announced, walking away, only with your knife in your belt and nothing else. It was unwise, but you couldn’t be around Merle anymore.

You had stepped outside the wire carefully so as not to rattle it and make noise, but still, it seemed as if Daryl had suspected of what you were gonna do, and so he was behind you.

“Where’re you goin’?”

You let out a sigh, turning to look at him. “Look…I…thank you for everything, but I’m going to go on my own.”

“The fuck you sayin’,” Daryl scoffed, frowning at you.

“Daryl…have you seen the way Merle talks to me? I can’t stand it anymore.”

Daryl shrugged, his frown getting deeper. “That’s just how Merle is.”

“Yeah…” You snorted. “That’s why I’m leaving…I can’t stand his bullshit anymore and it’s looking like you agree with him, so…” You  just shrugged and turned around to keep walking

“You can’t leave, you’ll get eaten.” Daryl scoffed as if you were an idiot.

He rushed to you and grabbed your arm as if he were going to drag you back to the camp, so you younked your arm free, you were starting to get annoyed. Sure, Daryl had helped you, but since finding his brother, he’d been acting like he didn’t give a shit about what happened to you, and let his brother say all kind of mean things to you, you even though he agreed.

“Like you care anyway!” You snapped. “You too think all that sexist bullshit! And I’m not going to let you both talk to me like that.”

Daryl was annoyed too, glaring at you, and he scoffed. “Yeah…yeah, I don’t care, don’t give a shit!” He snapped. “Go get eaten if that’s what you wanna, crazy bitch!”

“Yeah, crazy bitch, I heard it before,” you muttered, walking away and towards what you hoped was Atlanta’s direction.

Soon, though, you had stumbled into walkers that seemed to come from the road near that part of the woods, where a car jam had turned into a monster's feast. You had put down a couple, surprising even yourself, but they were too many.

You wondered if you could outrun them, you thought so, but you were worried about just running to nowhere and getting lost. It wasn’t looking like you didn’t have much choice, but then, an arrow embedded itself into the head of one of the walkers. You looked back and Daryl, who said that he didn’t care and acted like so, had followed you and was there, recharging the crossbow and putting down another walker, while you went to do the same with another, and the last one fell to the ground with another arrow into its head.

“You were right, I’d get eaten,” you muttered bitterly as Daryl approached, looking at you as if expecting you to snap again.

“Yeah…it ain’t…ain’t safe to be alone…so…” He shrugged, looking down. “You have to come back.” You let out a sigh…yes, you knew you should, you ought to stick together with alive people in order to survive, you needed help and people watching your back, and yet… “Merle…the things he said about you…I, uh…I don’t think those…” Daryl muttered, and those weren’t the only things that the Dixon’s said that annoyed you, but still…it was something, and it was unexpected. “But…that’s how Merle is. But you can’t go on your own ‘cause you’ll be geek’s food.”

You looked around at the dead monsters on the ground…yeah, you knew that Daryl was right…not to mention that you had been eating of what he hunted, sleeping while he took watch knowing that no monster would sneak on you, you knew that being alone was unwise and dangerous…

“And you care?” You asked, still a bit annoyed and hurt.

Daryl shrugged, looking down and chewing at the skin of his thumbnail. “I guess,” he finally muttered and you let out a sigh.

“Okay, let’s go back.” You gave in and Daryl nodded, turning to walk back to the camp without saying anything else. “Daryl?” You called for him but he didn’t look at you. “I guess I care too about you not being geek’s food.” It was true, no matter how annoyed at him you could get, for some reason, you cared.”

Now…

“Yeah…yeah, Merle was a prick,” you repeated, and Abby seemed amused. “But he meant the world to Daryl.”

When Merle was left in Atlanta, Daryl had let you hug him, back when he didn’t let himself be comforted that much, and had even cried…and then, months later, when he had found his brother dead, it had destroyed him, it had broken his heart, and it had broken yours too, to see Daryl hurting like that, crying and crying while you held him through the night, trying to comfort him somehow, feeling like his pain was physically hurting you.

“Yeah…that’s how it goes with siblings.” Abby gave you a sad smile. “I’m gonna catch some sleep.”

“Okay…”

*

If you enjoyed this, comments and reblogs are always more than welcome, thanks.

Also, as always, excuse my English, it’s not my first language.

IF YOUR TAG IS IN BOLD IT’S BECAUSE I CAN’T MAKE IT WORK (AS YOU KNOW i’M MAKING A NEW TAGLIST)

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#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon/reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fic #daryl dixon & reader #twd daryl

[verai-marcel]

Of Dragons and Love (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: Arthur didn't want to come to Strawberry, didn't want to help a certain sniveling rat escape his cell. So he decides to explore the town instead and runs into a mysterious woman whom he can't let go. 

Author’s Notes: I’m gonna take a moment and lean hard on my heritage to pull some inspiration from an old Cantonese opera. And we're gonna leave Micah in his cell because nuts to that guy. So pretend this takes place in chapter two when Arthur was supposed to go rescue him, but decided to do a side quest instead. This was written for the RDR Mini Bang! @rdrbigbang

Tags: Arthur x F!Reader, spoilers, Chinese mythology-inspired, alternate timeline, mild exophilia, insta-love, magic, smut, HEA

Word Count: 6,378

Accompanying Artwork: @danger-r-98-5 has made some wonderful art for this fic!

AO3 Link is here.

--------------------

Arthur stepped into the small town of Strawberry and immediately wanted to turn around. He could pretend Micah was dead. He could just bide his time and wait for him to hang. 

As he rode through the small town, he passed the small jail and kept going to the visitor's center. Seeing the map of the nearby area tacked onto the wall next to the entrance, he hitched his horse and walked over to take a better look. 

"Welcome to Strawberry, good sir!" 

Arthur flicked a tired glance at the boisterous man before continuing his casual perusal of the map, waiting to see if he would leave. When the man remained beside him, he sighed, exasperated. 

"Hullo," he said without looking at the other man.

"Are you here for business or pleasure?" 

"Uh, just passin' through." It sure as hell wasn't for pleasure, and his business was his own. 

"Ah, I see. Well, please keep us in mind if you ever want to spend a day relaxing in our lovely town. This hotel is the coziest in West Elizabeth," the man boasted, gesturing behind him. "And the scenic Mount Shann and Owanjila Dam aren't too far from here."

"Alright."

"And Big Valley, just past the mountains, is a beautiful place to hunt and camp."

"Uh huh."

When Arthur continued to look at the map without any further inclination towards interacting with him, the man gave up on his sales pitch. "Well, I'll be inside if you have any questions."

"Ayup."

Finally alone, Arthur focused on the path that would take him to Owanjila. He'd been meaning to do a bit of fishing and commune with nature. Seemed like as good a place as any. 

Anything to postpone the reason he came here.

***

You weren't sure how you lived so long, not knowing what you were. You had been living with your mother for two decades, not knowing who your father was. Your mother didn't talk about him, and the one time you asked, she had simply said one thing. 

"He disappeared."

You didn't know what that meant exactly, and she did not explain. 

Until one day, on your twentieth birthday, he appeared. A large, scary looking man came to your door. Your mother paled and tried not to react, but when he held out a necklace and told her how sorry he was for leaving her alone, she broke down and cried. 

You found out that when she was young, your mother lived in a small house by a waterfall that fed a large lake. There was a growing town not too far from there, where she worked as a waitress.

One day, on the other side of the lake, a group of Chinese workers made camp as they worked on the railway that was coming through town. They were not welcomed in the town by most people, but your mother took pity on them and sold them food and other groceries, for a delivery fee. 

Somehow, your father had caught her eye, and they developed a secret relationship. When her parents discovered the love letter your father had written to your mother, she was kicked out of the house, without anything of hers to take with her. When your mother had gone to the camp to look for your father, it had been abandoned, the workers having left hours earlier to the next site. 

Broken hearted, your mother had thrown the necklace he had gifted her into the lake and left town, moving to Strawberry and giving birth to you. You had grown up here, made friends, had a few short dalliances with boys here while you grew up.

Strawberry was a small town, but there was a creek running through it, and when you had free time, which was not often these days, you loved to follow the creek to a waterfall and watch the water. You always felt an affinity with the water, felt like it always pulled at your very soul. You had learned how to swim with ease; your mother had said you were like a fish. 

Your father explained why he had left, and why he had finally come back. 

"I am a Dragon," he had said. "Great-great grand-nephew of the Dragon King of the North Sea."

He was an immortal creature, drawn to the belief of his people in a foreign land, looking for something to comfort them while they worked in dangerous conditions to make money to send home to their families. He protected them, guided them, and thus, had to follow where they went. When the camp left suddenly, he had no time to say goodbye and was nearly dragged away, the pull of his people’s belief taking him with them.

But now he was free, his people having finished their jobs. They had dispersed, either leaving for China or moving to San Francisco, where other Dragon Gods held domain and took over the belief of his former followers. So he started looking for his long lost love, who still cared for him deep in her heart, and traced the thread of emotion leading back to her.

He promised to take care of you and your mother from now on, and he made good on his promise. For the past five years, he had worked alongside the two of you, making your small farm plot healthy and fertile. 

It helped that he could make the sky rain whenever you needed it. 

He had also trained you in your small powers. Because you had been untrained for so long, your powers were weak, but over time, and with practice, they grew steadily stronger. You could breathe underwater. You could swim faster than humanly possible. And while you couldn't transform into a dragon, your hair became teal and your skin could shift into a bluish-grey tint. It was a bit unsettling the first time you did it in the mirror. 

But your most favorite power of all was the ability to shape nearby water to your will. At first, you could only move a small amount of water in a mug. But over time, you could move water in pitchers, basins, buckets, barrels, and even water troughs for animals. 

At this point, if you entered a pond, you could easily create ripples and small waves just by focusing on your energy and sending it outwards from you. 

Five years had passed since he had come back, and you had learned so much. Your life was so peaceful now that it came as no surprise when your parents announced that they wanted to move back to their hometown. Of course something had to change; that was the only constant in life, after all.

But you didn’t want to leave. You loved Strawberry. This was your home.

Your father had let out a breath, then smiled, much to your surprise.

“Owanjila does not have a spirit to guard it, since it’s a new body of water. Perhaps… you can become its guardian.”

“But I’m half-human,” you had said.

“So is Owanjila,” he said.

You nodded and smiled. Now you knew why he had been training you so hard all these years.

***

Arthur was pleasantly relaxed for the first time in a long time. He had spent all day fishing and gathering herbs after he set up a small campsite tucked away in the thicker part of the forest. It was quiet on this side of the lake, since all the travelers would go across the dam to take in the scenery. He was glad he picked a spot that was farthest from, for he didn’t have the energy to even say hello.

With a couple of large fish, he made his way back to his campsite, cooked up a fine meal with his freshly picked herbs, and spent some time writing and drawing before looking up at the stars before he fell asleep, the campfire quietly dying as his snores melded with the rest of the night.

***

It had been three months since your parents had left you here. They had sold the small farm and used the money to help you fix up a small abandoned fishing cabin out here on the far side of the lake, where you could hunt and gather on your own, trading furs and fish in town. Ever since you had become the guardian, the fish had spawned much more frequently and grew faster than normal, keeping you well fed. You figured it was a side-effect of the lake having a guardian spirit now.

You looked at your hands; yesterday, you had tripped on a step as you walked back from town, getting some small cuts on the palms of your hands as they had scraped against the gravel. Today, they had healed so quickly that there were no scars; you had never healed so quickly before. You wondered if your powers were growing and had walked into town earlier today to send a letter to your folks, letting them know what had happened.

It was late; the moon was high in the sky, and as bright as the electric lights in St Denis. You were roused from your sleep by the pull of the moon, and knew that it was time.

You took off your clothes and set them on your front porch. Walking to the water’s edge, you slipped into the water without a sound, the liquid embracing you as if you were an old friend.

“Hello, Owanjila,” you whispered as you walked deeper and deeper until you were completely submerged. Then you transformed, your skin turning bluish-grey, your hair shifting to a beautiful teal, and your gills appearing near your collarbone. You kicked your legs and swam gracefully through the water, spinning and twirling as you joyfully moved through the water as easily as you could walk on land.

Once you reached the middle of the lake, you bolted upwards, your legs kicking in unison with such speed and power that you broke the surface easily, your body shooting into the air. You let out a whoop of excitement, for it was only during full moons that you could fly this high out of the water; you had certainly tried other times. For a moment, the starry sky and the bright moon seemed impossibly close, and you held out your hands as if you could gather them all up and hold them tight forever.

Flipping backwards, you extended your hands in front of you and dove back into the water with barely a splash.

***

“Huh, whuzzah,” Arthur muttered as he was jolted awake by the sound of someone yelling. Immediately on alert, Arthur reached for his pistol and carefully made his way out of the tent, looking around. Seeing nothing but trees and rocks after circling his campsite twice, he was about to go back into his tent.

Another yell echoed through the trees. It didn’t sound like anyone in danger, more like… elation? 

His curiosity piqued, he quietly made his way towards the lake, following the sounds of the water sloshing around as if someone was swimming. Coming to the shoreline, he saw the full moon, reflected in the water, with ripples circling from the center of the reflection.

Unable to stop himself, Arthur found a nearby rock and climbed it to better see the center of the lake. Squatting down, he peered out at the water.

Something shot out of the water at breakneck speed, surprising him enough that he fell onto his ass.

For a split second, he saw everything clearly.

He saw her nude form, water glistening off her skin, the moon bathing her in a silvery light. He saw the look of ecstasy on her face as she looked up at the moon.

He saw her eyes as they met his.

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat.

Then she was gone, diving back into the water like an arrow, hardly disturbing the surface.

Sitting up, he crawled to the edge of the rock and peered at the spot, waiting for her to return. Part of him wondered if he had imagined it, and part of him hoped she was real. He had felt like he had seen something so evanescently ephemeral that his heart fluttered like a child seeing fireworks. He wanted to experience that sparkling feeling again and again. 

When his knees ached and his joints complained, he finally gave up, climbed off the rock, and returned to his tent. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but it didn’t come quickly as his heart continued to race. When he finally managed to nod off, his dreams were filled with a mysterious woman with an expression so filled with euphoria that he could almost taste her joy.

***

You were mortified. A man was camping around your lake and you hadn’t noticed? Granted, you were in town most of the day trying to sell some rabbit pelts, and then you had written your letter at the post office since you had run out of ink and bought some at the general store and didn’t want to walk all the way back to your cabin. 

But still, you hadn’t noticed. You supposed it was because he had no ill intent. It wasn’t that you could sense people, that wasn’t how your power worked; it was more you could feel out harmful intentions. People who came and went on the dam were usually harmless tourists and you took no notice of them. But occasionally that greedy mayor would come up here and consider building some cheap cabins out on the lake as tourist traps, and you would cause the lake to be extra choppy that day, splashing water on him if you were nearby. It was usually enough to change his mind.

You stayed at the bottom of the lake, waiting long enough before you slowly swam up again, moving towards the edge of the lake before you poked your head up from the water.

He was gone.

You sighed in relief and swam back to your cabin, looking around once more before getting out and back onto your porch. Grabbing your clothes, you got inside and dried off, thinking of the man’s shocked expression.

But what came to your mind most of all was that in the moonlight, you had managed to make eye contact. In that moment, your heart had pounded like you had seen something beautiful. 

Despite your embarrassment at being caught naked and in your half-dragon form, you wanted to see him in the daylight. You wanted to find out who he was, and why your heart had finally moved after all these years.

***

Arthur came out of his tent, bleary eyed as he yawned. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of sleep, but he was, for better or for worse, used to it. The sound of a crackling of a fire and the sight of a figure sitting with their back turned was also something he was used to.

Until he realized that the fire had gone out last night and he had come to this place alone. Reaching for his pistol, he stopped when he heard her speak.

“I mean you no harm.”

Arthur, suspicious, for people who had said that to him before often would turn around and shoot him, put a hand on his pistol, but left it in its holster. Coming out of his tent and rising to his full height, he walked around to face the woman at his campfire.

When she looked up at him, he felt like he was hit with an arrow.

Those same eyes from last night met his, and he felt like the whole world slowed and became silent. All he saw was her, and he didn’t care about anything else.

***

His eyes were beautiful, like gemstones sparkling in the morning light. His hair was tousled from sleep, but it made you think of him in bed next to you. You swallowed. Why were you thinking of waking up next to him? You barely knew him!

But you couldn’t ignore the heat in your veins as your eyes traveled down his body. His very tall, muscular body. Oh gods, you felt your heartbeat quicken as you suddenly had a mental image of him climbing over you, his naked body above yours, his big hands holding your hips as he thrust—

“Can I help you, miss?” the man finally asked, his voice rough from sleep. His voice was like whiskey, flowing smoothly over your body and making you burn with need. He swallowed, and you watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. Oh, to lick that sun-kissed skin…

You shook your head, both in answer to him and to clear the lustful images from your head. “I’m alright, I just wanted to share your campfire.”

***

“Oh?” Arthur asked, sitting down beside her to hide his body’s reaction to meeting her eyes. When he had met her gaze, he was hit hard with desire, the sudden image of her beneath him, legs spread, her expression of ecstasy for him and him alone.

For a brief moment, he wanted to take her, to guide her to the ground and thrust wildly inside of her like an animal.

But instead he reeled himself in; he wasn’t that kind of man. He didn’t even know why he had such a visceral reaction to her. All he knew was that she was sitting here with him now, and she was beautiful. When she turned away, he felt like he was suddenly lost, and wished for her to look at him once more with those mysterious eyes. He observed her as she poked the fire with a stick, wondering what she was thinking.

“So, uh, you live around here?” he asked, berating himself immediately for such an awkward question.

“I do, just down the shoreline,” she replied.

“Oh.”

She turned to meet his gaze, and he felt it once more. A pull, stronger than any he had ever known, as if she was hypnotizing him with just one look. Unable to stop himself, he leaned in closer, her lips beckoning him.

“What are you doing?” she asked curiously.

The spell broken, Arthur quickly leaned back and sputtered, “I, uh, I don’t know, to be honest.”

The woman smiled at him, and he felt his entire world light up with fireworks.

“What’s your name?”

“Arthur.”

“Nice to meet you, Arthur.”

She told him her name, and he repeated it just so he could say it out loud. He loved the way her name rolled off his tongue. He had shivered with desire from the way she had said her name. 

“So you saw me last night,” she said after a few moments.

He smiled nervously as guilt wracked him. “Uh, yup. I’m sorry, I didn’ mean to peek.”

“It’s alright, I should’ve been more careful,” she said, a wry grin on her face. “Usually no one camps here.”

Silence stretched between them as Arthur wondered what he should say, if anything.

She brought up her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “And there’s not much to look at anyway,” she said self-deprecatingly.

“You were beautiful,” he blurted out suddenly. He couldn’t believe she’d think that. He wanted to burn the sight of her coming out of the water into his memories so he’d never forget.

She turned her head to look at him, and he felt the pull once more, but it was tinged with melancholy. It made his heart clench. He reached out and put an arm around her, pulling her into his chest, desperate to ease the pain. “Yer beautiful,” he repeated.

***

Surrounded by warmth, you sank into his chest and breathed in his scent. His natural musk, layered with balsam and leather, was soothing to you, made you feel safe and protected. No other man had affected you like this. Was this how your parents had fallen for each other? Was it an instant attraction?

You had been taught to follow your instincts, and something about this man made you want to keep him forever. To hold him tight and never let him go.

So you reached back out to him, wrapping your arms around his broad torso. Looking up at him, meeting his surprised expression, you leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were chapped but pliable as you pushed forward, pressing your body against his.

You were met with a startled grunt. He let you go and backed away, like a shy lady from an all too amorous man.

“Y-you barely know me,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking back on yourself. Maybe you misread him, maybe he was just saying you were beautiful to make you feel better. Maybe you were just lonely and wanted to connect with him, the first man who had made you feel something in years.

“Look,” he said, leaning forward again, “it’s not that I don’t want to, I just think, well, maybe we git to know each other a bit more first before, uh, well…” He trailed off, gesturing blandly.

You laughed. Of course. He was shy. Standing up, you reached out to him. “Will you stay a while? My cabin is small but it’ll protect you from the elements better than your tent. And it’ll be warmer at night too.”

Arthur stared at your hand for a moment before standing up on his own. “Alright. I’ll pack up first.”

***

Arthur wasn’t sure how he was convinced to stay in a cabin with a woman he hardly knew, but every time he met her eyes, everything else fell away and all he wanted was to be with her. 

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, maybe a few days, maybe weeks. But he had never been so content to just fish and hunt and spend time with his sweet lady. He learned about her parents, who had been small-time farmers near Strawberry before they moved to her mother’s hometown, leaving her to live on her own. When he had asked why, she had said it was because she loved it here and didn’t want to leave.

He understood why; after the first few days of just roaming the land, living off its bounty, he was quite content to just stay and forget his troubles. She would go into town and sell his furs and pelts, and when he wasn’t hunting, he would help upgrade her little cabin, fixing up small things here and there to make her more comfortable.

He had insisted on sleeping on his bedroll on the floor beside her bed, at least for now. He felt like he was working up the courage to bed her, even though she clearly had given him an open invitation to her bed. 

Every night he thought about it.

And every night, he trudged to his bedroll and slept beside her bed like a faithful pet dog.

***

14 days had passed. The new moon would be out tonight, and you were itching to go for a swim.

But with Arthur here, you hesitated. He had seen you that first night, sure. But he hadn’t seen you clearly. He hadn’t seen your skin and hair color change, your gills at your collarbone, your preternaturally fast swimming. 

As you stood at the end of your little fishing dock that was connected to the porch of your cabin, you sighed. Watching the setting sun streak its beautiful orange rays across the water, you internally debated if you should show him so you could freely act as the guardian once more. You had been feeling stifled as of late, only able to use your powers while he was out hunting, and only in secret in case he might come out of the forest at any given time.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?”

You smiled. He had started calling you his darling or his sweetheart after a week of gentle caresses as he walked by, or even a casual kiss on the cheek as you went into town on an errand. No matter how much he said it, you melted every time. It was endearing and charming to you, even though they were simple words. The way he said them, the love and care he put into those pet names, was everything you wanted to hear.

Turning to Arthur, you saw that he was dressed in his usual blue shirt and black ranch pants, looking concerned. Seeing the care he had for your well-being made you come to a decision. He deserved the truth of you.

“I need to show you something.”

***

Arthur swallowed as his sweet lady began to disrobe right there on the dock. He was shocked to a standstill, unable to move as he saw every inch of beautiful skin exposed to his view. His pants grew tight, his throat dry, and his internal instinct to protect surged through him.

“Darlin’, what’re you…” 

He couldn’t utter another sound as he watched her usual skin shimmer and then shift to a blue-grey tint. Her hair became teal colored, and slits appeared above her collarbone.

“Gills,” she said as she pointed at them, shrugging shyly. “I’m a dragon spirit. Or half of one.”

Arthur could only nod in both shock and awe. He had suspected she was hiding something, but he would have never guessed it was something like this. He took in her form, human and yet not, familiar and yet bizarre. But still beautiful, wonderful, her.

“Do… do I disgust you?”

“No!” Arthur said, quickly taking two steps to stand in front of her. “Yer still the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”

Seeing her smile shyly and look away, his need to assure her only grew stronger. “That why you could swim so good?” he asked, reaching up to caress her neck, right above her gills.

She nodded again.

“What’d you mean by half?” he asked, curious.

“My father, he was a dragon, the great-great grand nephew of the Dragon King of the North Sea.”

Arthur nodded. “Oh. Okay then.” He didn’t understand what that meant, but it sounded a bit important.

She tittered. “I don’t really know how important that is either,” she said, answering the unspoken question. “But I can swim real fast, breathe underwater, and I can control water a little bit,” she said, her excitement growing with each word. She turned to the water and put out her hand.

Ripples started to appear, and they grew into small waves, rolling across the surface of the lake.

She turned back to him, a happy glow to her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re not disgusted by me.”

“I’d never be,” he replied, pulling her into his arms. His gaze traveled along her face, admiring her hair color, her bluish-grey skin, and the gills at her neck, before looking at her smile, full of self-confidence. She was radiant and it made her all the more alluring. 

“You’re beautiful, no matter what.”

***

This time when you kissed Arthur, he kissed you back, unafraid, bold, confident. He quickly took over, his fingers gripping the back of your head as he pulled your body closer to his. You felt the rough fabric of his shirt sliding along your sensitive nipples and moaned softly.

He suddenly wrapped one arm around your waist and one around your ass before picking you up with ease. 

“I need you darlin’,” he murmured before turning from the dock and walking determinedly towards your cabin. He maneuvered you inside and shut the door, not wanting any interruptions. Laying you down on the bed, he stepped away to light the lantern before returning to you, taking off his hat and flinging it aside.

You shifted back to your human colors, your gills disappearing.

“Yer magical,” Arthur whispered before resting his forehead against yours and closing his eyes, a wry grin on his face. You kissed him back, smiling in return, acknowledging his silly word choice and accepting his sentiment for what it was: a compliment. He shared your gaze for a few moments before kissing you back as he unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it open while he climbed over you. You could feel his impatience as he pressed his bare chest against yours, his kisses heating up and becoming demanding.

“Arthur,” you breathed as he moved down to kiss your neck, his lips tracing lines where your gills had been.

“Why’d I wait this long,” he muttered, mostly to himself, as he ran his fingers from your hip up your belly. His touch was feather-light, almost ticklish as he skimmed the underside of your breast before tracing circles around your areola. 

You writhed, whimpering softly. He looked at you, keeping his gaze locked with yours as he leaned down and took your nipple into his mouth. 

"Oh, yes," you moaned as his tongue played with you, distracting you just long enough for his other hand to caress the inside of your thighs. You parted your legs eagerly. 

You felt Arthur smile against your skin before he switched to your other breast, giving you the same pleasure as his hand slid between your legs, his fingers exploring your slit. 

"This honey fer me, darlin'?" he asked in a low, husky voice. 

"All for you," you whispered. 

He let out a soft growl of satisfaction before dipping a finger inside of you. Your hips lifted up towards his touch. Moving away from your breast, he kissed his way up your neck, to your cheeks, then to your lips once more. He took his time tasting you, his tongue languidly caressing yours as his fingers delved inside of you, his thumb brushing against your bud, each stroke driving you higher and higher towards your peak that was approaching rapidly.

You moaned his name, muffled as it was by his mouth on yours. He growled in return, pumping his fingers faster, his thumb stroking you with determination.

"Ah, ah, Arthur!" you cried out as you climaxed. As you felt the pleasure zip through your veins, you buzzed with power for a moment before it faded. 

You didn't have time to think about it, for Arthur climbed off the bed and took off the rest of his clothes. He was such a big man, with muscles from hard work, scars from a rough life, and a dangerous grace to him. He had power and knew how to use it. 

And right now, he wanted to make you release over and over again. 

He climbed over you, just like in your fantasies, and spread your legs, wrapping them around his waist. Taking his hard length in his hand, he slid the tip around your entrance, slicking himself up as he watched you tremble beneath him. 

"You sure 'bout this, darlin'?" he murmured, a slight tremor in his voice, as if he was holding back. He didn't stop sliding the head of his cock along your slit, up and down in a slow rhythm. 

"Yes, yes please Arthur, just take me!" you begged. He was driving you mad with his gentle strokes. You lifted your hips up, causing the tip of him to slip inside. 

"So needy, sweet girl," he crooned before he pushed forward, driving himself deeper inside of you. 

You writhed and winced as your body stretched around his girth. He was sweating, holding himself steady as he waited for you to regain your breath before inching forward some more. Patiently, Arthur watched your every reaction, taking great care to control his movements until his hips finally came flush with yours. 

He murmured your name, his lips brushing against yours before he kissed you. His hands cradled your face as he grinded against you, the heat of his body warming you up like a thick quilt. Deepening the kiss, he angled your head so he could devour you. A low moan escaped him as his hips shifted, building a steady rhythm of short thrusts. 

"More, Arthur," you said when he finally let you take a breath. 

"I'll give you whatever you need," he replied before lifting himself up, letting the cool air touch your body. He pulled his cock out almost all the way and waited for an eternal moment while he stared into your eyes, the lust blowing out his pupils. 

Then he slammed back inside of you.

Your pleasure-filled yell was stopped short by Arthur's swift uptick in pace. He was hammering his cock inside of your tight, wet channel, and he couldn't get enough. Not saying a word, he only moaned and panted as he drove into you relentlessly, taking just a split second to adjust his angle before continuing. 

"So good," he moaned before he got up onto his haunches, taking your hips in his big hands, his fingers digging into your flesh as he fucked you like a man possessed. He growled, a feral sound of pleasure, before he reached down and stroked your clit. 

"Need… to… see… you… let go…" he panted. 

You tightened your legs around his waist, meeting his thrusts with your own enthusiastic motions, reaching for your breasts and playing with your nipples before him. 

"Oh darlin', you look so pretty like that," he grit out, his face contorted in an effort to control his desires. He was so close. So very close. 

"Give me everything!" you gasped, your body shaking, on the edge of a precipice so high that you almost felt fear.

Feeling your body grip him so tightly, Arthur let out a passionate shout before he spilled inside of you. His eyes were wild as he stared at you, his mouth open as he drew in breath after ragged breath. He moaned as he thrust one last time before crushing his hips to yours, keeping his shaft inside of you for as long as possible. 

As he spent himself inside of you, you felt your core suddenly overflow with ecstasy, your body shuddering as you came around his thick cock. At the same time, your power unleashed, making your body glow a bluish hue. 

"Darlin'!?" Arthur panicked, sounding winded, his brow creased with worry. 

The power that had unlocked within you gave your vision a strange overlay of colors. And within the warm orange glow of Arthur was a black cloud in his chest. You reached out through the haze of your afterglow and pulled at it. 

He gasped and coughed. 

You pulled again. Now that you had touched it, you knew it was bad. It needed to get out of his system before it did permanent damage. 

Arthur grasped his chest. "What…" he trailed off as he coughed a few more times before you managed to heave out the black cloud from his lungs. You quickly quashed it in your hands. 

Looking up at him, you put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him, pouring the last of the glowing power inside of him. On some instinctual level, you knew you had healed him of something. Whether it was an old lingering illness or a new one that was just about to form, it was now gone from his system. 

When you finally pulled away, Arthur looked bewildered. For a few seconds, or a few minutes, you weren’t sure how slow or fast time was flowing, the two of you could only stare at each other, lost in that foggy place between dreams and reality.

"What'd you pull outta me?" Arthur finally asked, still a little breathless.

"Something bad. An illness, I think,” you replied. You took a deep breath before squeezing his hand. “Whatever it was, it will no longer hurt you." 

Arthur smiled and pressed his forehead against yours. "Thank you, sweetheart."

***

Arthur left a day later, telling you that he'd be back once he had taken care of some people.

You didn't see him for a long time.

Four months passed before you saw him again. He looked ragged, skinnier, as if he had been through hell and back. But when he saw you, he rushed over and fell into your arms, holding you tight as if you were the only real thing in his world. 

***

He told you everything. He confessed that he had been the one to help that criminal escape and shot up the town. That he had been chased all over three states with his gang. That he had stolen money from several trains. That he had been on a ship that had sunk and was stranded on an island for days before finding a way back. 

He told you about John. He told you about how he had helped him escape the Pinkertons, had ran with him all the way down the mountain before telling him where to meet his family. Then Arthur had set off, the long way around through the wilds of Ambarino so he could lose the men who were chasing him, just so he could get safely back to you.

You saw now that his eyes were unclouded, having seen his world for what it was. You saw pain and regret in his eyes, but you also saw understanding and a clarity that was not there before. He appeared to have finally found wisdom at a heavy price.

After he had told you everything, you cooked him a meal of steamed fish and herbs. He ate quietly, as if his confession had stolen all of his words from him. 

He finished his meal and sat in silence for a few minutes before looking towards you. "I ain't a good man—" 

You shushed him. "You are more good than not, Arthur," you said. "We all make mistakes. You were just trying to do your best. That's all any of us can do."

Reaching for his hand across the table, you grasped it and pulled it to your chest, placing it over your heart. "Will you stay?" 

Arthur smiled hesitantly. "You… still want me?" 

You stood up and leaned across the table to kiss him. "I'll always want you, Arthur. I love you."

He kissed you back. When he looked at you, his gaze full of gratitude. "I love you too, my sweet darlin'. Thank you fer believin' in me."

--------------------

End Notes: I had to end it on a sappy note, of course. Hope you enjoyed that little romp with some folklore! 

#rdrbigbang2021 #arthur x F!reader #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #rdr2 #fanfic #writing #nsft #lemon fanfic

[let-it-raines]

I Hope We Never See October (8/12)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Okay, so that cliffhanger, huh? I thought our mystery guests were obvious, but then again, I'm writing the story. But We'll answer all those questions here!

AO3: Beginning | Current Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

-/-

Killian’s side of the bed is cold when Emma’s alarm goes off. She expects him to still be there either sleeping or on his phone – he seems to do most of his work in the mornings when he doesn’t want to get out of bed – but he’s not there.

She hates herself a little bit for even noticing the cool feel of the sheets beneath her fingertips.

Emma groans and stretches her legs out, wondering how much time she has to go back to sleep before she absolutely has to go into work. She squints at her phone. She’s got two hours before she has to be at work. She could definitely sleep for another hour and a half and then look like shit at work. That might be nice, actually.

But then she smells something cooking downstairs, and almost on cue, her stomach growls.

Slowly, she gets out of bed, and the floor is cold against her bare feet. She should really go take a shower before she goes downstairs, and despite the good smell, she goes into the bathroom and quickly showers, leaving her hair dry. It’s curly and a bit frizzy from leaving it wet after her shower at the Nolans’ last night, but that’s a problem for another time…tomorrow. She’ll make it look better tomorrow. Emma grabs a pair of shorts and a button-down, putting them both on, and she pulls out a pair of sandals from her closet for later. She’s not as presentable as she should be, but maybe she can stay in her office and away from customers.

Besides, this is better than what it could have been had she not at least rinsed off the remaining sunscreen and sweat from her skin.

Emma smooths down her shirt and fluffs her hair. There’s the slightest bit of red on her chest from Killian’s beard, so she buttons up one more button before heading downstairs. From the smell of it, Killian is either cooking pancakes or waffles, and she’ll take either.

As far as her seasonal friends with benefits go, Killian is definitely the winner.

For the breakfast, the sex, and maybe the conversation. She thought about that for too long yesterday, and it’s too damn early for her to be thinking about any of this today. All she wants is food and coffee, so that’s all she’s thinking about. It’s all she can.

“Damn, Jones,” Emma shouts from the top of the stairs, “something smells delicious.”

She’s at the bottom of the stairs when she hears other voices. For one brief second, she thinks Killian is on the phone, but she’d know those voices anywhere. One haunts her nightmares, the other is the voice of her dreams, and neither was supposed to be here for three weeks.

Three fucking weeks.

Shit.

Holy shit.

What the hell has Neal done that he has to show up like this without even giving her any kind of heads up?

And how does she fix this? Killian was never supposed to know about Henry. He was the one question she’d never answer. He would have been her veto had it ever come up. When he got home from spending the summer with his dad in New York City, Emma was going to start phasing Killian out. They’d only ever spend time at his place, she’d never spend the night unless Henry was sleeping over at his friends. Usually, she doesn’t have this problem because the guy leaves way before this. He doesn’t have the chance to ever know about Henry, and Emma likes it that way.

The last guy that met Henry was Walsh, and that was only on accident. Or at least that’s what Walsh said, but Emma’s always thought Walsh showed up at the Blue Dog at that time on purpose because he knew Henry would be there with Emma. The guy never understood why Emma didn’t let him meet her son, but when you’ve never been able to trust a man besides David and possibly Graham with him, you have reservations.

His dad’s a full-blown asshole who has upended her life more than once, and she’s already so done with whatever bullshit excuse he’s got for bringing Henry home early.

Emma jumps in place, trying to breathe without really inhaling, and then she turns the corner into the kitchen.

The sight is as bad as she expected. The first person she sees is Killian, and if it were any other morning, this would be a good view to wake up to. His joggers hang low on his hips, he’s standing by the stove shirtless, and his hair is sticking in several directions from where her hands tugged on it last night. Then she sees Neal, who is standing in the corner with his arms crossed, frown on his face. He looks older since she saw him at the beginning of June. His beard is filled with more gray, his hair unruly in a purposeful way. He looks pissed, and Emma already knows this is about to be hell.

And then she sees Henry, and the tenseness fades from her shoulders when she sees his smile and the giant backpack he’s wearing. He’s got to empty that damn thing out.

God, she’s missed him so much.

“Mom!” he squeals, running toward her.

Emma opens her arms and embraces him, holding onto the back of his head and breathing him in. As much as Emma sometimes likes the freedom her summer affords her, she does miss her son. A lot. Him being gone is the entire reason she picks up shifts at The Oaks. She needs the distraction, not so much the money, until the summer is over and Henry comes back home for school.

“Hey, kid,” Emma laughs as she keeps hugging him. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Can I have the waffles?”

“What?”

He pulls back and grins. “The waffles Killian made. Can I have them?”

“Killian,” Emma slowly repeats. She looks over Henry’s head toward Killian who is furiously scratching behind his ear, and she realizes just how much he has a deer in the headlights look going on. As confused as she is right now, she knows he’s just had a few bombs dropped on him. “Uh, yeah, why don’t you and my friend Killian eat. I’m going to talk to your dad in the backyard for a minute. Neal.”

“What? I don’t get a hi?” Neal asks.

“Backyard. Now.”

He smiles, and once upon a time, she would have found that charming. Right now, she wants to slap it right off his face. Whatever he has to say, she knows it won’t be good. Emma closes the back door behind them and moves far enough across the deck to keep Henry from hearing.

“What the hell, Neal?”

The smile falls, and Emma crosses her arms over her chest. She has to put up a barrier with him. “Why are you so angry? Are you not excited to see Henry? He has been gone all summer, you know.”

“Of course I’m excited to see my kid. But I wasn’t supposed to see him three weeks from now. And with a head’s up. We have a schedule, Neal. Like, a court-mandated schedule that you made us get, and you’re not sticking to it.”

“That I made us get?” he scoffs. “What’s that supposed to mean? If I recall, you’re the one who kept my son from me for seven years and then didn’t want to give me custody.”

How is he such an ass? Seriously. How does he still not get it?

Emma steps closer and straightens her back. She doesn’t need to make herself taller, not for him, but she does anyway. “I got pregnant with Henry when I was sixteen. You were twenty-four. Do the math on how that’s wrong in about eighty-two different ways. And if I recall, and trust me I have a pretty good memory of this day, when I told you I had something important to tell you, you disappeared off the face of the planet. That doesn’t really seem like a guy who deserves to know about his kid.”

“Oh, come on, Ems. You can’t still be mad about that, can you?”

Is it still considered assault if Emma punches someone who deserves to be punched? There must be a law making that okay.

“Why are you here early, Neal?”

She doesn’t want to get into this with him. He’s never going to understand how much he fucked up Emma’s life. There’s no need for her to try to get him to understand now when all she wants is to know why he just showed up early.

“Who’s that guy in there?” he asks, evading her question.

“A friend.”

His mouth crinkles when he laughs, and she hates it. “A shirtless friend who fixes you breakfast? I hope you don’t make a habit of this when Henry’s home.”

“You don’t get a say on my dating life. Or my parenting skills. Now answer my question.”

He blows out air, and rolls his eyes, like she’s the one inconveniencing him. “Look, Tamara wants to go on vacation before summer ends, and she didn’t want to bring Henry with us. So I thought I’d bring him back to you and it wouldn’t be an issue. I’m sure you can keep him entertained until he goes back to school.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God, Neal, are you serious? You are breaking the rules of our custody agreement because you want to go on vacation with your girlfriend? How is it possible that you’re so selfish? I mean, God, seriously.”

Emma groans and buries her face in her hands before screaming. Or at least screaming as loud as she can without Henry knowing.

“Henry is a good fucking kid,” Emma continues, slowly breathing to calm herself down, “and he loves you. He doesn’t see all the shit I do because I’ve hidden that from him, but you can’t just do this, Neal. You can’t decide you’re done playing dad and give him back to me when you nearly made me go broke fighting to keep custody of the kid I’d raised since he was born. That’s not how being a parent works.”

“That’s rich coming from the woman who has used her time away from her kid to fuck British tourists and is upset her kid is back early because her vacation has to end.”

Emma looks up into the eyes of the man she once loved, the man who gave her son his eyes, and she says, “Go say goodbye to Henry and get the hell out of my house. I’ll see you next June, if you still decide to show up then.”

It’s a dismissal, and Neal never takes those. Not sitting down at least. She’s sure there will be arguments and petty jabs for the next few months. He’ll make her life hell while playing as the good guy. He has this act where he says things like “he’s a good person now, can’t she just move on from the past?”

There’s a difference between forgiveness and moving on that not a lot of people get. They say you have to forgive to move on, but that’s not true. You can move on without forgiveness because some people don’t deserve it. At all. Sometimes all you can do is stop letting them live in your head rent free, and you have to forgive yourself for ever falling for the lies.

Emma’s chosen that route. She’s forgiven herself, has moved on with her life even with Neal constantly trying to pull her back down, and she’s not about to stand here and let him criticize her personal life when he has no business in it.

Through the window, Emma watches Neal hug Henry goodbye. It takes less than a minute before he’s gone and Henry is back to eating his breakfast. Emma would laugh, she wants to at how ridiculous this all is, but she’s not finding anything about today funny. Because while Neal will go back to New York and will be happy, she’s stuck here cleaning up the mess he just made because she has to do everything in her power to make sure her kid never knows the version of his dad she knows.

A phone call would have been nice. At least then she could have gotten Killian out of the house. She still would have been pissed, but at the very least, she would have been able to make things a little better than they are now.

“Shit,” Emma breathes out, looking toward the sky. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Emma inhales and exhales several times before forcing a smile and walking inside where Henry is eating the breakfast that was meant for her and talking to Killian about soccer of all things.

Well, not of all things. Most of the time, Emma forgets that Killian plays professionally. Hell, they talked about it yesterday, and it still isn’t at the forefront of her mind. That part of his life has nothing to do with hers…except for right now when Killian is talking to her son about it.

He still doesn’t have on a damn shirt.

“Mom, did you know Killian used to play soccer? Like, as a job. That’s so cool! Do you think he could coach my team?”

“I did know that, kid.” Emma kisses his forehead, and he squirms away. It’ll take him a week or two to get used to her kind of affection versus Neal’s, so she’s not too offended. “How do you know that?”

“I recognize him.”

“Since when do you watch a lot of British soccer? Or football as Killian calls it.” She mimics Killian’s accent, but she also knows she did a terrible job with it.

Henry shrugs and stuffs a large bite of waffle in his mouth. “Dad doesn’t have anything to watch on TV but sports channels. All I did during the day was watch old soccer matches.”

“Wait. Where was your dad?”

Henry shrugs again. “I don’t know. At work I guess.”

Neal works from home most days of the week. What an ass. Emma bets he didn’t even get someone to watch Henry. He just used old sports reruns to keep him entertained.

“Hey, kid,” Emma says, finally looking to Killian, “can you stay in here and eat breakfast while I talk to Killian in the other room?”

“Sure.”

Emma flashes a tight smile and then nods her head toward the stairs. Killian gets the message and walks upstairs without being asked, immediately heading toward the bedroom. He stands by the window, arms crossed over his chest, and Emma watches his jaw tick, the smile he had on for Henry a moment ago, gone.

Softly, Emma closes the door behind her.

“I have my personal question of the day, Swan. You have a son?”

Okay, great, so this is how it’s going to be. Emma opens her dresser drawer and pulls out a shirt for Killian. He catches it after she tosses it and tugs it on. It doesn’t help as much as she’d like it to.

“Okay, look,” Emma begins, “you were never supposed to meet Henry. He wasn’t…his dad was supposed to have him for three more weeks.”

“The contract on my rental house has more time on it than that.”

Emma runs her hands through her hair and sighs. “I don’t know. I would have figured it out. Only go to your place, spend less time together. I mean, it’s only natural, right? Because you’re going to leave, and it would make sense for things to die down between us.”

Killian laughs, but Emma gets the sense he doesn’t find any of this funny. “Yeah, it makes perfect sense. This was only about sex, right?”

“Killian.”

“No, no.” He holds his hand up. “It’s fine, Swan. I get it. It’s my fault for thinking we might be mates on top of that.”

“I mean, we are – kind of, maybe. I don’t know.” Emma sighs and sits on the end of her bed. She doesn’t know what to do. Even more, she doesn’t know what to say. She definitely doesn’t know how to feel. “It was never supposed to be like this. I’m usually better at not blurring the lines. I don’t know what happened with us that made me drop my guard.”

“I knew you found me charming.”

Emma laughs and falls back on the mattress. “I have a kid, Killian, and he’s back. I can’t be like I was. We can’t just fuck whenever we want or stay out late or eat pizza at three in the morning. I’ve got to make sure Henry has a place to stay and Mary Margaret is across the country visiting her parents so that’s out for awhile. And I’m still working two jobs because I thought I had time to do that. I don’t, God, I don’t know what to do about anything in my life. Plus, you know, I want to spend time with Henry, and I don’t have a lot of free time.”

“I could watch him, love. He’s a bit older than what I’m used to with my nieces, but I’m sure I can find ways to entertain him.”

Emma sits up. Her heart is beating way too fast, and suddenly, the true reality of this situation hits her.

The man she’s been sleeping with has met her son.

And he’s offering to babysit.

What the actual hell?

She needs time to think. And scream. She definitely has to scream into her pillow for at least an hour because she literally cannot think of another thing to do. This is all too much, and she needs Killian to leave. He makes this all too complicated. She needs to go downstairs and eat breakfast with Henry. That she can do. That’s not complicated. That’s something she’s done every day for ten years, even if it’s usually Pop Tarts or a bowl of cereal, not homemade waffles and eggs.

“Can you, uh,” Emma starts, biting her lip, “can you go home? I need to spend time with Henry. He won’t show it, but I know he knows why his dad brought him home early. I’ve got some crap to deal with, but I’ll text you later.”

His eyes narrow, and Emma knows that look by now. He knows she’s lying, but she doesn’t expect him to call her out on her lie.

And he doesn’t because as quickly as his eyes narrow, they widen and a slight smile creeps onto his lips. “I’ll see you later, Swan. I’ll get my clothes out of the machine downstairs and go.”

“Thanks.”

Killian doesn’t move, and Emma has a hard time looking at him until she does. His eyes are so damn blue. It’s ridiculous.

But then he moves. Leaves, actually, just like she asked him to, and she hears every single step as he leaves the house and gets into his car. Emma breathes out a sigh of relief, maybe a little confusion, and then she grabs her phone of her bedside table.

Not a single warning text or call from Neal, just like she thought. Ass.

ES: SOS. My house. 10 minutes.

RL: Are you dead?

ES: Yes, I’m texting you from beyond.

RL: I am hungover. Give me 30.

Emma tosses her phone on her bed and heads downstairs. The life she was living is over. Henry’s home, and she is his mom. That’s what she has to do, and right now, that means putting her anger at Neal and confusion with Killian behind her to go eat breakfast with her kid.

She can only partially ignore that Killian was making this breakfast for her.

For them.

-/-

“King Harold,” Ruby says when she walks through the door in her pajamas and immediately sees Henry, “welcome back to your seaside palace. Come give me a hug.”

“Only if you never call me Harold again.”

“I can’t agree to that, Harold.”

Henry rolls his eyes, but he hugs Ruby anyway. “My name is Henry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ruby kisses the top of his head. “You smell like waffles.”

“Killian made waffles for breakfast.”

“Killian did?” she asks, looking over Henry’s head toward Emma. Emma shrugs and cocks her head.

“Kid, why don’t you go unpack? When you’re finished, we’ll go to the beach before I have work.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” Emma hums and nods at the stairs. “I told them I’d be late today. Get your bags and go.”

Henry quickly grabs his suitcases. They’re nearly bigger than him, but he manages to drag them up the stairs. Emma waits until she hears his bedroom door close, and then she moves to the kitchen and collapses on a barstool. Ruby fixes herself a plate of leftover food and starts eating. “I have eight thousand questions.”

Without lifting her head from the counter, Emma tries to answer at least half those questions. “Killian slept over and was making breakfast when Neal and Henry walked in, so they both met him, which went over as well as you’d expect. Neal didn’t tell me he was bringing Henry back early, but apparently his girlfriend got tired of having him around and wanted to go on vacation. Neal thought ambushing me was the best way to go about the situation, and then he got pissed about me having a guy over.”

Emma peaks up to see Ruby blinking. Slowly. Did she not process anything or is she just so hungover that it’s taking her a long time to figure out what to say?

“Was Neal charming or something when you guys were together?’

Emma laughs. “I was sixteen, and he paid attention to me. He might as well have been Prince Charming.”

“He’s the worst.” Ruby scrunches up her nose. “And you’re not a Prince Charming type of girl. I get more of a rebel vibe from you.”

“Yeah, because mom and restaurant manager means rebel.”

Rub leans over and pokes Emma’s nose. “I don’t think you know how badass you are, Emma Swan. Give me a minute to get some coffee and make more food because I definitely need to dissect everything that’s going on with you. Baby daddy and new boyfriend not included.”

“Not my boyfriend.”

“Oh, right. Just sex friend because you totally invite sex friends to parties at Marg’s place. That seems normal.”

Emma narrows her eyes. “I invited you here to help with a crisis. Not create a new one.”

“I’m just saying,” Ruby sighs, “Mr. Jones is a hell of a lot better than most of the guys you shack up with. Your unfortunate sperm donor included. I’d think about that if I were you. I mean, we both know you’re about to ghost him, but at least think about it, Emma.”

Yeah, maybe she will.

-/-

-/-

@qualitycoffeethings @marrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @elizabeethan @jrob64 @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @galadriel26 @galaxyzxstark @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @onepunintendid @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo @captain-emmajones @ilovemesomekillianjones @taylrsversion @dramioneswan @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @gloriousfemaleworrier @spartanguard @snowbellewells

#I Hope We Never See October #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan

[lilyclawthorne]

No Clouds Allowed In The Sky, Ch 4

“Clear skies” had been her life’s motto, it was the only thing she had at times to keep the lid on her emotions, and keep the weather outside from becoming disastrous. Totally an effective solution to her problem with no foreseeable issues, right?

————————————————————

5 times Pepa’s emotions cause her to lose control + 1 time she can finally let them out

Ch. 3 Ao3 Link

Word Count: 2204

A/N Not gonna lie this took me longer to figure out how I wanted to go about it than I expected, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Definitely kinda just developed as I wrote it? Idk. Got a bit dialogue heavy near the end. Wrote it on my sleep-deprived COVID infected brain too, so there’s that as well, but still, hope you enjoy!

Also slight tw for choking if that’s something that bothers you.

4. Age 36

It was the afternoon, and for once Casita was quieter than it had been in so long. The house had grown to be full of kids and there was never a dull moment, but today Julieta and Agustín were in town, taking Luisa with them as she had so much energy to burn off ever since she had her own gift ceremony a month prior. Félix was currently, and somehow successfully, putting both little Camilo and Mirabel down for a nap. And Dolores and Isabela were last seen playing in one of their rooms. All of the children were occupied and Pepa decided to take this blessing of peace and quiet as a sign to enjoy a nice calm moment alone. Relax outside with a cup of tea. Maybe even enjoy the weather for once.

“Tía Pepa! Tía Pepa!!!”

Or not.

Pepa quickly abandoned all hope of a reprieve as she turned around to face her seven year old niece, “Yes, Isa?”

“Come quick!! It’s Dolores!!” Isabela yelled as she tugged on her tía’s skirt, causing the woman to let out a yelp. Pepa’s concern grew as she heard her daughter’s name, but she certainly couldn’t let herself get worked up when she didn’t know the whole story. She hadn’t heard anything that could’ve sounded like a dire problem yet either.

“Whoa, slow down Isabela. What’s wrong?”

The girl looked at her, appalled she would even consider stopping at a situation like this, “She’s crying !!”

Isabela started to tug her by her skirt once again, not prepared to stop anymore. Okay, so Pepa’s anxiety was growing a little more now, she could feel a shift in the air pressure around her but it wasn’t like it was nothing she couldn’t handle . She hated the thought of her daughter upset, but it certainly wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before. She let the girl tug her up the stairs and into her daughter’s bedroom.

Ah, so that’s why I didn’t hear it, she thought, referencing the fact that her daughter’s room could be soundproof if desired. She entered the room and her heart broke at the sight before her, tears welling up in her daughter’s beautiful eyes which were now red and puffy. Dolores practically slammed herself into her mother as she ran to hold onto her and buried her face into the woman’s dress.

Pepa lifted the girl up all the way into her arms, holding her close and trying to soothe her as she made her way to the bed.

“Mi hija, por favor, tell me what’s wrong?” Pepa whispered to her daughter, careful not to speak too loud while the girl was already distressed. Dolores didn’t respond, but just buried her face closer to her mother’s chest.

Pepa turned her gaze to the other girl in the room, “Isa, what happened?” The girl’s eyes flitted away from her tía and towards the door, and the woman held herself back from thundering at the girl’s hesitancy, “Isabela! What happened ?”

“Well, we kinda asked tío Bruno if he would see into our future,” the girl stopped for a moment, looking upwards as a cloud did begin to form over her tía’s head, but continued as the woman quickly waved it away, “and he didn’t want to, but we kept asking and he finally did. Everything was fine when he did mine, but then it was not so fine when he did Dolores.”

Bruno, Pepa thought to herself, I’m gonna murder you.

The woman grit her teeth but put on a smile so as to not worry her niece, “Isa, why don’t you go play in your room for a bit while I talk to Dolores okay? She’ll join you when she’s feeling a bit better.”

Isabela nodded and hurried out of the room and to hers, sensing that maybe she wouldn’t want to witness what would come shortly after her tía and prima finished talking. Pepa gently moved her hands so that she could tilt her daughter's head upwards and look her in the eyes, “Dolores, please, just tell me what he saw?”

The girl looked like she was trying so hard not to cry again as she began to speak, “H-he told me t-that when I g-get bigger, that the p-perfect person for me w-would be engaged t-to someone else. Is n-no one gonna love me l-like that Mami? Like how you and Papi love each other?”

If Pepa’s heart wasn’t shattered enough already, her daughter’s question slammed what was left into bits and pieces. Her daughter should be worried about playing with her primas and having fun, not worrying about who she’d marry one day. Still, she knew at such a young age, her daughter already had a thing for romance and the news must’ve been devastating to the girl.

“ No! That isn’t going to happen, mija. You will find love someday.”

The girl gave a pout at her mother, “That’s easy for you to say, you’ve already found it.”

“ Well . I’ll have you know that you’re Papi and I did not come into this world as a pairing already, and it did in fact take many years before I even met him. I used to worry the same as you, but fate worked out, and it’ll work out for you too. You control your life, not your tío’s visions.”

The girl looked slightly unsure, but gave her mother a small nod, and a tighter hug. Once Pepa was sure the girl wasn’t going to cry again, she sent her off to her prima’s bedroom before turning her focus on her own brother’s door. The clouds she had been holding back began quickly growing, as Pepa marched her way up the stairs and barged through his door without knocking.

“ BRUNO PEDRO MADRIGAL” she yelled, walking past the immediate entry room, and sliding through his “waterfall” of sand with practiced ease. Not seeing her brother anywhere in sight, she glanced upwards. It hadn’t been much, but she saw the flash of green that suggested her brother had been looking when he heard her voice. “ I know you’re up there!! You do NOT want to know what happens if you make me walk up there. ”

Pepa crossed her arms and waited, and after getting no response for a few minutes, let out another scream before heading to ascend the countless steps. Wind began to pick up, causing sand to whip around her feet.

“Ok wait, wait, wait!! I’m coming down!!” Bruno finally responded, common sense finally hitting him that no one needed his sister’s heavy winds at the top of a cliff. She stopped her climb, but that did little to ease her anger. By the time he made his way down, Pepa already had several minutes to stew in her thoughts. The sand circling around her feet looked not unlike the sand during one of Bruno’s own vision circles. He held back a joke about it.

“Care to explain just why my daughter is crying? And why I was pointed in your direction?” Pepa asked, knowing the answer but wanting her own brother to explain.

“Look, they’ve been asking me for weeks, ”he started, trying to plead his case.

“And you didn’t think to ask either me or Julieta??!” Particles of sand were flying even higher in the air.

“You know how it is with those kids. They keep begging with those big eyes and their cute faces, I can’t say no?” Bruno did have a weak spot when it came to all of the kids, bending easily to a little pout or slight cry, and the kids had likely caught on to this already.

“My daughter's face is cute. But not when it’s full of tears .” The sounds of sand and wind were beginning to get louder, making it slightly hard to hear if she hadn’t been shouting, “What were you thinking?! You didn’t have to tell her what you saw!!”

Bruno tried to make his way closer to his sister, but it was hard to push against the evolving sandstorm. Just when he thought he’d seen all the possibilities of his sister’s gift, his own room offered new surprises. It was getting hard to see her while he had to keep his head covered to avoid sand in his eyes and throat.

“P-pepa, please it’s getting a bit hard to-“

“And you had to do both girls together?? So my daughter had to see her prima had a better future than her?? Of course! Of course Julieta’s daughter gets the better future!”

“I-I think you’re feeling a bit of misdirected ange-“

“ Don’t tell me what I’m feeling!!” The winds whipped up harder as Pepa rushed forward. Bruno opened his mouth to speak but was met with a rush of sand and felt like he was choking. As the two finally came into view of each other, she began again, ready to keep on speaking before noticing his distress, “B-Bruno?”

He fell to his knees in a fit of coughing, and Pepa followed down with him. Now that he was also in the eye of her storm with her, it gave him a reprieve from the sand around him and a chance to cough up what already entered his mouth. Pepa’s own anger disappeared from her face and she tried to help him with swift swats to the back, while winds began to dissipate as fury gave way to anxiety.

“Bruno! I-I didn’t mean to do this!” Her familiar clouds began to form over the two of them once more, already beginning to sprinkle but getting even harder.

As he finally was able to pull himself back together, he looked back at her, voice hoarse, “C-can we please continue this elsewhere, before you turn my room into quicksand?”

He gestured up to her clouds, worried that a storm would be on the way and that a large amount of water in his sand would leave the room unwalkable for quite some time. She looked up with wide eyes, then back at him before nodding. She quickly picked him up and carried him out of the room to his own protests. They headed towards her own room, which was better equipped to handle her different moods. He was deposited into a chair, before she ran off, coming back minutes later with what he recognized as one of Julieta's buñuelos as it was shoved into his mouth. The soreness in his throat and lungs cleared up.

Pepa sat down on her own bed near him. Her previous anger was near nonexistent at this point, a feeling of exhaustion sheeting in instead. The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, until she eventually decided to speak first, “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

“I just saw my little girl crying and got so mad.”

“Yeah, you did. I knew you’d be coming as soon as I saw her vision.” He wouldn’t have been surprised if he had received an earful from her about the vision regardless of it having either a positive or negative result.

“She doesn’t need that kind of heartbreak already.”

“Well, it’s a possibility, not an inevitability,” he reminded her. Pepa knew well enough by now Bruno didn’t make things happen, and he hoped she could understand people could make their own choices and paths despite the information given to them. He wasn’t so sure she could get that while her mind was still clouded with worry for her daughter.

“I just hate that she has Isabela to compare herself to now too because of this.”

“About that,” he redirected the conversation slightly, aware of his own sister’s insecurities, “She definitely wasn’t upset with Isa through all this. You made that comment? About Julieta?”

“I don’t wanna talk about that…”

“You don’t have to with me, but maybe it’s something you need to discuss with Julie?”

Pepa shook her head, “I can’t. Not her fault I always felt second best compared to her. Not fair to her.”

“And the sandstorm I was just on the receiving end of was?”

Pepa’s face grew even more guilty at that.

“They’re your feelings. You are allowed to feel them. And talking about them could make those feelings turn into better ones, rather than natural disasters.”

“I hate when you’re right. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen though.”

“Yeah I know you won’t,” he acknowledged, shaking his head as he knew his sister would fall back into old habits of pushing down her feelings.

Pepa playfully pushed her brother at the comment, careful not to actually hurt him, and he pushed right back. She got a playful look in her eye, finally brightening up after the whole situation, but before she could react he was already up and running out her door. She chased him down only to find him stopped outside of Isabela’s bedroom, gesturing for her to listen with him. Placing an ear against the door, she could hear the two girls playing, already energetic and giggling with one another. Dolores had already bounced back as if the earlier tears had never happened. Pepa smiled at her brother, mouthed a quick “thank you”, and knew in her heart that whatever happened going forward, her little girl was going to be okay.

#encanto #encanto fic #encanto fanfic #pepa madrigal #bruno madrigal #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal

[jostepherjoestar]

An Educational Favour: III

NOTsfw // FEM! reader & pronouns

warnings/notes: 18+ content, minors dni, it’s Ghiaccio x reader x Risotto ;), interc0urse, v0yeurism?, degrading, female pejoratives, spanking, overstimulation, stuffed creampuff (if ya get what i mean)

part 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

PART III: ⛸Ghiaccio⛸

Soft light blue fabric bounced on your upper thighs as you sped to Ghiaccio’s room to meet up with Risotto and the blue curled grump. The cute ruffled trim tickling you every once in a while, the babydoll negligee making you feel like the cutest little cake topper. You had indulged an inkling that Ghiaccio would like cute and frilly things despite his usual nature. Curious to find out what today had in store as you entered your third guest’s dimly lit bedroom. The two men broke off their conversation to eye you from the very top of your head to the very tip of your toes. A bit taken aback by their staring you softly smiled while waving your fingers at them, starting to feel shy under their hungry gazes. The red frames resting on Ghiaccio’s nose were quite bad at hiding his cheeks that starting flushing in a similar colour. “Hey guys.” Nervously rubbing the ruffled fabric of the flouncy hem between your fingers, your soft voice snapping the two out of the strange spell you had seemed to put them under.

As far as you could tell the men appeared to appreciate today’s choice of lingerie, patting yourself on the back for the excellent choice. “We were just discussing things, come sit.” Risotto informed as you slid next to Ghiaccio on his bed who seemed to have grown anxious as his shoulders tightened and his jaw locked, a big gulp bobbing his Adam’s apple when you inched closer. Nodding to indicate you were listening, hoping that Ghiaccio would start. “Ghiaccio…?” Your capo inquired, giving his knee a quick tap to bring him back to reality. He had been staring in front of him, catatonic almost, while you’d both patiently awaited his plans. The nervous man besides you snapping his head to meet your eager one, taking in the way your compassionate smile tried to calm him down. The space between you seeming too suffocating for a moment, making him breathe out deeply. The gentle hand being placed on his shoulder almost melting right through him. “I’m fine.” The low growl swatted away your kind gesture. “What are we doing today, Ghiaccio?” You tried your best to remain patient with him, still curious to know what he’d like to indulge in.

Risotto didn’t let much slip about what Ghiaccio had revealed about his kinks or desires. He’d assured you it wasn’t too overwhelming to ease your mind that had conjured up the wildest suggestions. “First I need to know you won’t tell anyone what we’ll do today.” His tone had softened, a few drops of nervous sweat slowly drying up again as he recollected himself. Risotto moved back in his seat to offer the man space, the creaky woven chair noisily squeaking as he leaned back into the pastel coloured cushions, the sight of his darker and goth like aesthetic against the softer hues of Ghiaccio’s interior offering quite the comical contrast.

“I promise. You have my word, Ghiaccio.” Another sympathetic hand squeezing his thigh, offering a small smile, urging him to continue. You kindness moved away the heavy fog that clouded his anxious thoughts, choosing to indulge in your sweetness rather than swatting it away again. “Ok. Risotto told me you’re very comfortable with stuff already. A little too eager maybe…” he trailed off as you shot the dark eyed capo a frown, only making his dimple appear, enjoying teasing you. “Uh-huh, ok.” Turning your attention back to tonight's guest for his follow up. “Well I can get worked up during…you know-” he gestured vaguely, indicating he meant sex. It made you huff out a chuckle at his choice to not say it. His voice grew quieter as he continued. “I want to spank you… call you mean things. If that’s ok. And…” the hesitation so obvious but his tone so kind and demure for once. The idea of being spanked and called names already peaking your interests as you pressed your thighs together in anticipation. “And?” You urged him on. “Risotto can join as well… I mean I’ll do everything but he can hold onto you.” For a moment there it had almost felt like all your dreams came true, a rush of pure lustful energy coursing through you as you perked up, eagerly searching for your capo’s approval. “It’s fine by me.” At this point you were practically hopping up and down next to Ghiaccio who seemed to grow less nervous now, unclenching his jaw and placing his hand over the one you’d rested on his thigh, avoiding your delighted smile and excited noises as he stared off, rosy cheeks growing even darker.

He’d been slightly nervous about the whole ordeal, having heard little about the previous escapades from his teammates other than that you were ever so delicious. Having to be so vulnerable made him all the more anxious, wondering if you’d let him cuddle you afterwards, something he so desperately craved after the roughness. The idea of his capo there as well had brought him peace of mind, just like it did for you. The man always had a knack to offer his stern voice as a guiding beacon to settle Ghiaccio’s frustrations, grounding him back into clarity.

You couldn’t help but admire Ghiaccio as he removed his top, his muscled arms and broad shoulder being revealed to you for the first time. He’d asked you to keep your pretty outfit on and to only take off the matching panties, them quickly being placed on his desk. Risotto had taken a seat at the head of Ghiaccio’s bed, resting topless against the headboard, his torso never having looked more inviting as your hungry eyes traced his well defined abs. Those dark eyes trained on you, hazed over in desire and the idea of having you in his arms while you’re being pleasured. The thought alone making his growing bulge twitch. Ghiaccio had removed his trousers as well now, his silk blue boxers the only thing separating his hardness from the open air.

You gave him a few innocent blinks, awaiting the man to take action, his hunger was clear in his harsh glare that kept moving between your chest and eyes appreciatively. He grabbed onto your shoulders with a strong grip, swiftly placing you between him and Risotto. Those sturdy hands letting go and traveling up to clutch your face tightly as he met your lips with bruising strength. His hold was strong and full of need, his tongue racing to lap around yours as he breathed heavily. No choice but to meet his power, straddling onto his seated hips and letting your hands roam his back, toying with his curls as he nipped at your lips while coming up for air. “God you’re such a gorgeous slut. I want to fuck you into the mattress till you can’t even breathe anymore.” His nasty words tickling your neck as he worked his way down, lightly spanking one of your cheeks behind you with a velvety groan. The slight tap making your core clench around nothing, feeling his hardness grow underneath you. Seeing how the tap didn’t affect you just yet, he opted to provide another one, this time with thrice the power. “Fuck Ghiaccio!” You hissed while grinding your hips into his cock, breathing heavily down his neck. His ferocity was intoxicating, almost animalistic and drenched in longing.

As you clung to his hips he moved you in between your capo’s legs, almost too flustered by the icy haired one’s actions, making it slip your mind Risotto would also be a part of tonight’s activities. If only a little bit. His chest felt so nice against your back, his warmth radiating against you as he swung one arm around your waist, securing you in place. He hummed in appreciation as Ghiaccio fervently worked down your body, rolling a nipple through the thin light blue fabric and kneading and massaging your other breast. “I’m gonna make you come before spanking your ass raw while I pound into you. Such a good cock slut.” His growls only made your core ache in anticipation, thoroughly wet already and awaiting any attention. Letting out soft hisses whenever he pinched you too hard, the stings only preparing you for the spanking in mind.

The way Risotto breathed deeply and the feeling of his clothed hard cock grazing the small of your back, the way Ghiaccio was sliding down to move open your legs, made a loud needy moan escape your plump lips. Begging him to please you, tired of clenching around nothing. “Fill me Ghiaccio please!” You pleading so pathetic it only made the man move faster than he already was. The nerves from before having been completely replaced by carnal desire. “You’re such a needy whore, begging me to fuck you.” His growl grazing your folds as he got down between your legs. You felt the arm around your waist tighten and the hard cock behind you twitch as the wet sounds of Ghiaccio starting to lap at your pussy began. Another deep growl vibrating straight through you this time as he tasted your wetness. “You even taste sweet, like you were made to be used like this.” The brims of his glasses had started to fog as he got down again, suckling on your clit and moving his tongue in alternating motions, the sensation as good as you remembered. More mewls and desperate moans filled the air, another team member who clearly knew how to please you. Every lick and suck sending fiery jolts through your body, your hips bucking up to meet his hot mouth.

After a slight shift, Ghiaccio slid a thick digit inside of your wanton core, the squelching of your juices so lewd as he pressed deeper, grasping walls already moving against it. The welcome entry of another one filling you making your breath hitch, the fingers felt quite chilly inside you while you clenched around him with need. With a swift stroke he moved his wetted fingers out, up and inside your slacked mouth, making you taste your own sweet essence. “You even like the taste of your own pussy. Of course you do, such dirty bitch.” His fingers only slid deeper as you lapped at them, sucking off all you could, slightly choking as he reached your limit. Your spit now mixed on his digits as he slid them out, drool sloppily still connecting them to your lips, working them back between your wet folds. Returning to his previous position to suckle at your throbbing bud of nerves while working his fingers in and out with great power and tempo. Just like he’d warned you, he was getting worked up, cheeks red and forehead sweaty as he aimed to please.

His actions making you babble his name over and over intermingled with “oh fuck”’s, nails digging into Risotto’s arm around your waist. The fast movement of his fingers stimulated your senses as he worked your clit with his able mouth. “Come for me you nasty slut!” You had been close already but his awful words only drove you further, toppling over the edge and letting the waves of pleasure take you over while his movements didn’t even slow. He let you moan and writhe until his jaw hurt and his fingers cramped, the overstimulation burning but not before he coaxed another orgasm out of you. It came on amazingly fast and unexpected, it almost made you scream at how deep it hit you. Ghiaccio had stopped his mouth now, wiping your juices from his chin while panting. His fingers slowing down as the final clenches eased around them. Out of breath and thoroughly fucked out by his fingers you started to release your iron grip on Risotto’s arm, crescent moons denting his tender skin.

“Fuck Ghiaccio…” mind still recollecting itself after the double orgasm he just so kindly delivered. “Now it’s my turn.” Licking his lips while a lecherous smirk ate up your tired expression. A quick nod to his capo and the warmth of his grasp left you, another quick motion later and he’d pulled you back from Risotto before flipping you over. Face down into your capo’s hard cock, still constrained under his trousers. The man behind you dipping the mattress after slipping off his silken shorts, already having left a wet spot of leaking pre-come in them from all the excitement.

You felt him line up at your entrance, his spongy head teasing you as he firmly gripped the base. “You gonna take me like the slut you are?” His voice was never that displeasing to the ears when calm but his usual growls would be forever changed after tonight. No longer making you wish he calmed down, instead wishing they growled how much of a good slut you were. When you only replied with a hum, mind still recovering, he offered a loud smack to your asscheek that was so invitingly staring back at him, both waiting to get painted red by his taps.

“Answer me!” Another harsh slap, this time on the other, the stinging mixing with the lingering pleasure of your orgasms making it hard to mutter anything as your legs trembled. “Yes Ghiaccio! Please…” Unashamed you felt yourself drooling over Risotto’s cock as he held your head gently. His thumb ever so lightly caressing your cheek, finally letting himself touch you after much hesitation. He couldn’t deny it, seeing you like this, barely able to speak from pleasure made him throb. You were doing so good, it only made him want to ravage you more.

Pleased with your answer he slid inside your waiting hole, so incredibly wet that there was no set back as Ghiaccio slid inside. You fit so nicely around him, his length felt less girthy than the others but enough length to reach all the way to the most pleasurable spots inside you. With every slam into you he reached so deep, heavy balls smacking against you with every move. Small moans coming from your cute little mouth as you tiredly basked in satisfaction, your walls clenching around him every so often making him twitch and hiss, followed up by another hard spank on your ass. It had grown so beautifully red as Ghiaccio admired his work while continuing his thrusts.

Risotto’s soft ministrations on your neck and cheek bringing you comfort while ferociously getting slammed into, every move rubbing you further into his groin. A curious hand coming to slide over his clothed cock. In your hazy state you still wished to please your capo, this had been the closest you’ve ever been to him. It felt like a gift to have him under you, so hard and excited. Part of your initial request to have him educate you on the world of desire coming to fruition. With every harsh thrust, you moved over his cock, grabbing onto it through his clothes. An almost unintelligible hiss coming from his softly parted lips, they looked so inviting.

Ghiaccio’s grunting behind you got louder and louder, his thrusts were starting to falter into helpless shakes. The way you clenched around him after hitting deep inside you making him moan. The sound so sweet and needy as you gripped your capo tighter and worked faster, the man behind you was getting awfully close and you still had a job to do. Offering wet sloppy kisses to Risotto’s clothed cock every few strokes to get him closer, his pets on your cheek still continuing as his grip and your head tightened. He was close as well. “I’m gonna come inside your wrecked pussy!” The harshest slaps you’ve received all night being planted on your cheeks as his sloppy speed quickened. His movements had made a deeper wave of pleasure build up in your core, ready to spill over just as he was.

Loud groans filled the air as hot ropes of come filled you up, the feeling of the warm drips making you help fill the room with the most lewd sounds. But your cup was so close to overflowing, still needy for another orgasm and that of your capo. “Keep going Ghiaccio… f-fuck.” You muttered, a wet puddle of drool staining your capo’s pants as you fervently worked his shaft. “You’re such a fucking slut.” The man behind you growled as he kept working in and out of you, his come coating you so nicely as his cock slid easily with his movements. If only you could so how blazed red his face was, trying his best to keep going as the overstimulation made him hold his breath. Finally you felt the rush of heat move over you, legs trembling as you gripped Risotto’s cock, urging him to come for you during your own loud moans. Ghiaccio’s pace faltered completely, the way you squeezed around him pulling the sweetest mewls from him. “Sh-i-it.” His breath hitched as he felt a final rush of pleasure careen through him.

Finally you felt your capo twitch under your hand, working him through his orgasm as you hazily recovered from yours. That deep sigh of relief letting you know he was satisfied, his large finger’s movement had slowed down considerably until they stopped, resting on your flushed face.

Ghiaccio pulled out, too exhausted to even admire the way his come was leaking out of you. Your tired knees sliding down onto the mattress as you regained your breath. Risotto moved you over next to him, Ghiaccio sliding against the far right side of his bed to lay next to you. The bed was tight for three people so you took Ghiaccio into your arms, letting him rest his head into the crook of your neck as you cradled him. The grump too tired to protest and if he’s being honest with himself, it was just what he needed and hoped for. To rest in gentle arms after a job well done. Risotto’s large figure spooning you from the other side while gently caressing your arm as his chin rested on top of your head.

All worked out and sleepy, the three of you lay there, no shame or embarrassment. Blissfully indulging in each other’s intimacy. A lazy hand from your blue haired teammate came over to lightly pet your outer thigh. “Do you want me to ice that?” Remembering how red he’d slapped your behind, hoping he hadn’t been too harsh. “Mhh… later. Let’s rest first.” You yawned, not even bothered by the mess seeping out of you. Too worked out to worry about it now.

As you recollected your thoughts, that goofy worn out smile resting on your lips, you made sure to encapsulate what you’d learned today. Everything about the combo of being degraded, used and spanked turned you on. The contrast of the loving holds on each other offering a comforting conclusion. Feeling a smug satisfaction over having been able to work your capo twirling around your mind as you gently played with the blue curls resting in your neck. “That was fun.” You whispered, hoping your companions were still lucid to hear it.

#i may be in love with ghiaccio #dw they got cleaned up after :) #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio x reader #risotto x reader #la squadra fic #risotto nero #ghiaccio #jjba x y/n #jjba imagines #jjba smut #la squadra #not sfw #minors dni #jojo's bizarre adventure #ghiaccio x reader x risotto