Tumgik
#i did have fun with this ofc. just doesnt make me happy anymore
Note
Hihi! I went on anon cause my main blog is strictly sfw, but I promise I'm an adult(29). Anyways, I had this idea of Ascended Astarion teasing Tav/Reader in front of a mirror. He can't see himself, but loves the way Tav/Reader shudders under his touch and them getting more and more embarrassed because all they can see is themselves getting riled up by seemingly nothing, but when they look down, ofc they see his hands working magic across their body.
Lol ty for the clarification and ask! I've been needing some nsfw practice!
Ascended Astarion nsfw under the cut, 18 + warnings. Like this is not implied smut. It is smut, graphic. Possessive, obsessive, manipulative, bad vampire man who loves you. As much as he's capable of. Morally gray human Tav from the start to here. It's only downhill from here baby, m/f angle. But if that doesnt fufill the dream let me know and I can make a gender neutral/ gender nonspecfic no prob! And probably less intense too because this is angsty~~~
Like I went ham, this is a whole ass fic now💀
You frowned at yourself in the bedroom mirror, adjusting your hair for the umpteenth time. It still didn't look right, despite what felt like hours of practice that you'd put into the intricate style.
You sighed as let one of your braids fall down, dissatisfied with what you saw. You didn't exactly look the part of an all-powerful vampire's consort, or at least not with the company you've recently been keeping. But it turned out a significant part of taking over Baldur's Gate was trenched in politics, meetings, balls, social events created for the sole purpose of mind games.
It was exhausting, or at least it was for you. But Astarion seemed to take to it like a duck to water. This life suited him, one of power games and subterfuge, and more often than not, murder. Not that you minded. You were just happy that he was having fun. That he was finally free after all of those years of torment. Even if he was using that freedom for… less than savory ends.
But despite his goals, you had sworn to him that you would never stray. And you intended on making good on that promise.
You just wished that he didn't insist on you being there for all of his "business". You hadn't realized how literal he had been about the whole sitting in his lap plan. It had taken a half-hour conversation to even convince him that no, you would not be doing so in the nude. He still hadn't given up on convincing you off that plan, but you highly doubted that it would help with your current level of heightened insecurity.
Maybe you were worrying for no reason. It wasn't Astarion who made you feel out of place. Well… it was, but not because of anything he did. Just… who he had become. He was so different now, so much colder to everything and everyone but you. More calculating, less forgiving, and just perfect for working with the most dangerous individuals in the mortal plane.
You seemed to be the only living thing he could relax around anymore, the only person who could soften him. It was strange really. You used to remember his softer side, before the ritual. The way his heart would hurt for children and animals alike, despite his failed attempts to hide it. His soft spot for Karlach, those who were brave and brazen, always willing to do the right thing despite the risks. The kind smile he used to have, reserved for beautiful things like the sunrise, the sunset.
Gone, all of it. It was a fact that you didn't like to think about. What you both gave up, things could have been; there was no point to it anyway. It was over. You gave Astarion the choice, this is what came of that. So here you were, obsessing over your appearance in preparation for a meeting with a high-ranking devil.
How things had changed.
You had no idea if you would ever find a way to match up with the company he kept around these days. Maybe it was your own fault for surrounding yourself with otherworldly creatures, but it was hard not to feel inadequate.
It didn't help that whenever you even slightly alluded to that insecurity, Astarion was more than ready to remind you of your… "options".
"You can join us whenever you'd like my treasure," Astarion would say with a creeping grin, "Just one bite, and we can be sure you'll be mine forever. Would that be so bad?"
It was a tempting offer, one that you kept insisting on refusing. You loved Astarion more than anything. But… you wanted that love to stay your choice. An obligation you maintained of your own free will. It's not that you didn't trust him… but to be a spawn had too many implications for you to handle.
"What has you pouting sweet thing?"
You startled when hands suddenly settled on your hip, gripping through the thin fabric of your nightdress. You looked back, relaxing the slightest bit to see Astarion smiling down at you, amused at the fact he'd managed to sneak up on you through the mirror.
"You said you weren't going to do that anymore," You whined as you leaned back into him, your eyes turning back to the mirror. You could see the fabric of your slip indented under his hands, ghost-like without his actual image reflecting back.
"I lied," Astarion said simply, leaning down to breathe you in from the crook of your neck, "Now what are you thinking about pet? I can tell something's on your mind."
You bit your lip, debating for a moment if you should tell him or not. But it's not like he would let it drop, and he was way too good at being able to tell when you were lying. Might as well come clean.
You sighed, "I don't…I don't know if I'm cut out for this."
You expected him to huff at you, maybe even laugh. But instead, the grip he had on you tightened, hard enough to make you gasp. You could feel his fangs scraping against your delicate skin, scratching hard enough to cause pinpricks of blood to bead out.
"And why would you ever think a thing like that?" Astarion asked, his voice harsh and low, "Where else would you be if not by my side hm? Please, enlighten me."
You gulped, your heart rate starting to pick up. You hadn't meant it like that, "That's not what I meant-"
"Then what else could it have meant?" Astarion shot back, his hands digging into you, surely ready to leave finger-shaped bruises. Suddenly he was using that same grip to drag you backward to the bed, effortlessly settling you between his spread legs.
All while managing to still be right in sight of the mirror. You could feel your cheeks redden as his hands started to wander, unceremoniously tugging down the straps of your nightdress to reveal your chest. That was another thing about life after the ritual that had been a surprise, just how different Astarion's sex drive was. It's not like he was a prude before, far from it, but now he was insatiable. Always ready and willing to touch you whenever the urge struck him. Often enough for you to eventually come to the thrilling, if not slightly disturbed realization, that… he was training you. Training your body to always want his touch.
And tonight was no different. You could already feel yourself getting wet, and he had barely done anything yet. But then suddenly he was pinching your nipple harshly, hissing in your ear, "I expect an answer when I ask you a question darling."
You bit back a moan, trying to remember what you were even arguing about as he started to play with your breasts, "I-I didn't mean it like that. I just… I don't want to embarrass you."
It was humiliating to admit but it was true. Not many people of Astarion's caliber insisted on a singular lover. There were so many people after him now, people with more power, more beauty, and grace. You didn't match up. You couldn't.
"Nonsense," Astarion dismissed, his hands wandering down to tear off more of your clothing, "Look at you. You were made for this life. Made for me. You're gorgeous."
The compliments mixed with the harsh feeling of his hands ripping your nightdress in two was quite the experience. You could feel his own hardness pressing into your backside, twitching as he threw your ruined clothing to the side.
Then he was gripping your chin, forcing your head back up to stare into the mirror in front of you, "I said look."
You obeyed, eyes widening at what you saw. It was so strange to see yourself like this, fully exposed with your legs spread apart, flushed and panting. It nearly gave the illusion that your very image was what was causing the wetness between your legs, instead of the invisible man toying with you.
You swallowed, your throat dry as Astarion's hands wandered lower, a feather-light touch tracing up and down your slit, "You are everything. The sole reason that I'm the man I am today. There is nowhere else you should be than right here."
"But-" You gasped, your words interrupted by a sharp slap to your inner thigh. You could see your skin start to redden in the mirror, a perfect imprint left in it's wake.
"Darling, are you questioning my judgment? What on earth made you think that was a good idea?"
You frantically shook your head, moaning when his fingers delved deeper, playing with your slick folds, "I-I'm not. I didn't- I'm sorry."
You whined as he roughly pinched your clit, his other hand moving upward to do the same to your heaving chest.
He was starting to grind his hardness against you, a tease of more to come as he murmured in your ear, "There's my good girl. Was that so hard?"
You shook your head, gasping as he finally dipped his long fingers into your cunt. You were already so sensitive, humiliatingly close in a matter of minutes.
"So gorgeous," Astarion sighed, staring straight ahead to the sole image of you, whimpering as he finger-fucked your pussy, "So needy. Can you see how wet you are pet?"
You could, you were leaking around his fingers, that needy, intense feeling getting more and more intense by the moment. It was so embarrassing seeing yourself like this, enough so that you snapped your eyes shut.
A bad idea. Astarion tutted at you, landing another sudden and hard slap to your thigh, "None of that. I told you to look. Or else."
You snapped your eyes back open, watching yourself whimper and gasp as you were played with, the harsh movement of his hand jostling your breasts. You weren't going to last much longer, not with the image of you being taken apart, the feeling of him inside you, the mean edge to your love's words.
"You're such a silly little thing, aren't you?" Astarion growled, fucking you harder and faster. You were so close, but you weren't stupid enough to come without permission. Not after what he did the last time, "Doubting me. Do you really think I don't know what's best for you? What's best for us?"
"No," You whimpered, your hips arching backward to rub harder into his erection, "You're right, I-I'm yours. C-Can I come now? Please?"
"Beg me and maybe I'll think about it," Astarion meanly laughed, relishing in the gush of slick his harshness coaxed from between your legs, "Beg and apologize. Apologize for doubting us. For doubting me."
You could barely get the words out through your own gasps, tears prickling in the corner of your eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it!"
"Good girl," Astarion huskily laughed, using a clever thumb to rub over your swollen clit, "Now tell me you love me."
"I love you," You said easily, meaning every word, "I love you more than anything.
"Tell me you'll never leave me. Ever."
There was something else behind that promise. An obvious implication that your fucked-out brain was too distracted to see.
"Never," You promised, reaching back for you him. You curled your fingers into his hair. pulling his head down to press his mouth against your throat. An open invitation, "I'll always be with you."
Astarion groaned against your skin, his fangs so close to piercing, "Precious pet, how could I ever want anything else? Come darling, you've earned it."
Then he was biting you, the brief flash of pain the perfect trigger for you to fall over the edge. You came with an embarrassingly high-pitched whine, slumping back into Astarion as he drank from your throat.
You looked as much of a mess as you felt, the stickiness between your thighs glistening in the light. You watched yourself, whimpering as Astarion slipped his fingers out. Just to tap them against your lips, forcing them into your mouth to suck on.
You moaned around them, light-headed as Astarion popped off of your throat. You sighed as he licked at the wound, enjoying the brief moment of rest. You weren't naive enough to think that you were done yet. Not when Astarion was still hard, his cock pulsing against you.
"See?" Astarion huskily laughed, licking the blood off of his lips while he played with your tongue, "You're perfect. Perfect and mine."
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definitelynotshouting · 3 months
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WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM 😭😭😭😭 WHAT A THING TO WAKE UP TO!
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Oh my god thw wings being a physical manifestation of how Mumbo doesnt know Grian anymore. He is an entirely new person, definitely mentally, technically physically-- even if he looks the same. Mumbo honing in on the wings ("his wings ruffle...behind him" "it's a foreign motion...that escapes translation") that are the thing that's different and needs a "map" drawn of it, because it's the only thing that's actually different. Sure, Mumbo can tell grian doesnt even act the same anymore, but that's much harder to put a finger on. He didnt have those wings before.
^I like to think there's some form of uncanny valley effect that people who knew Grian before feel looking at him now, ignoring the wings.
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"Then he smiles, porcelain teeth flashing in the glistering sun.
The cold, open pit of his depthless eyes fails to catch it."
Really fucking love this description ough
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"“You’re not supposed to change me back!” Grian shrills, bristling."
IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THIS TEM WTF (it is past 10am)
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"with the exquisite delicacy of a Player"
I SEE YOU YOURE NOT SNEAKY
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The wings again!! *is in distress* (side note i love seeing the world building youve been telling us about finally in the fic!!) Ok this actually makes the way Mumbo focused on the wings mean so much more. Wings are dangerous to code in, thats why Players use spotters. Grian vanished from Evo and showed up on Hermitcraft YEARS(?) later, without a word to anyone, and reappeared with those wings. Imagine going on a trail with a friend whose never hiked before and then they stop responding to your messages only to show up again after a couple of months like "Hey I just climbed Everest". You would most definitely be distressed to say the least. (although, question: how proficient was grian's coding?)
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Man this one-shot. Too many feels this early in the morning 😭 The way you've managed to capture that sense of unease around Grian. His actions are unpredictable- you dont know if he's going to laugh or get upset- really nicely encapsulates Mumbo's internal feeling that he doesn't know grian anymore. Those moments where he laughs or stares with those blank eyes, those are normal-- but linger a second too long, or catch a glimpse of the worlds that have passed since Evo started-- and he can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with Grian
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AAAAAAAAA HI SUN ANON!!! omg im so glad you enjoyed the oneshot!!! :D
Omg YES im so so glad what i was aiming for with the wings came through, thats exactly what i was going for!! This is the only physical indication that Grian has changed, and therefore the most distinct!!! Ofc Mumbo is gonna hone in on that-- its the clearest aspect he can see. And yeah, i think the first few times people saw him with the wings, it was definitely a little uncanny valley, until they got used to it
OKAY I'LL BE REAL THE EXQUISITE DELICACY BIT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL BUT IS A VERY HAPPY ACCIDENT ALDJWKDNEKNDKDE altho i did really enjoy messing with some wordplay in other areas. My particular favorite is the "inner machinations of a dropper" line-- it was such a fun way to refer to mechanical parts while simultaneously making it sound like the dropper is up to no good 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It was super nice to really put this aspect of the worldbuilding into the fic-- one of these days i'll probably rewrite chapters 1 and 2, and maybe do a little editing on 3, just so i can sorta bake those concepts in there with a little more deliberation than i did when i was first posting :] BUT YES altho its not so much dangerous (for a Player, at least) as it is difficult, and very finicky. Grian's coding is super proficient as a Player (he's still working on melding the instinctive coding of the Watchers with his Player brain tho), so he was always very capable of it, but like you pointed out, under normal circumstances he would have 100% asked someone to be his spotter while he coded them in, just in case he bugged out
And yep, we're talking a timespan of years here!!! This is a bit loose, so its subject to some minor changes, but my general timeline is that Grian, once Watcher-ified, was trapped with the Watchers for about 2-3 years before he made his escape. After that he bounced between hubs and servers for a few months, before ending up on Hermitcraft to stay. The fic itself takes place somewhere around early mid-season, i think-- since i headcanon each season to take place over a few years rather than a few months, i'd say this means Grian has been with Hermitcraft for, oh.... a little under a year now by the time this fic takes place, if that makes sense. Again these are not concrete but thats the general timeframe we're talking here. I'll probably make a separate post about this later, but in Player culture its not SUPER weird to go gallivanting on your own for a few years-- but the complete radio silence and abrupt exit from Evo are what make this notable from the norm to Mumbo and everyone else who knew Grian before
Im so deeply and genuinely happy that the sense of unease came across so well-- i was admittedly worried that the pacing was a bit fast for how Grian's reactions kept turning on a dime, but this reassures me that it works :] i wanted it to really feel like this is a familiar stranger we're looking at through Mumbo's eyes, and also i wanted to give Grian some room to display those uglier trauma symptoms that nobody talks about much in fiction. I like to think that first year back on Hermitcraft was a difficult one for him, mood-wise, because behind that rough facade his brain is about as scorched-earth as it fuckin gets
Sun anon i always ADORE your analysis thank you so so much for sending them 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it makes my day every time, truly. Im so glad you liked the fic!!! :D
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pumpkinsy0 · 5 months
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Buck x Tim headconnons
I feel like they would be a good duo
Buck can fight, but he's just retired to fight. Just tends the Bar he owes
They will both beat peoples asses, if they fight together
Tim makes fun of Buck for being old, but Buck doesn't get mad he lets it slide
If its Buck's b-day, Tim will steal him little gifts (Buck gets mad at Tim for stealing but is thankful for the gift)
If its Tim's b-day, Buck will let him have free beer (only on his birthday)
Tim dares Buck to fight him, but still losses to Buck anyways 😂
When Tim is having a bad day, he will go to Buck's bar and spend there all day till he's drunk (maybe will often tell Buck about his bad day, and Buck will try his best to comfort him) I thought that will be cute♥😭
Since Buck has a dog (I feel like it should be a girl and her name should be pig) But Buck's dog loves Tim and Tim loves her back, he loves playing with her and she loves playing with him
One time Buck was laughing at Tim, because he was getting attacked by Pig while playfighting, and she accidentally bit Tim so hard he ended up having a scar on his neck (ofc Buck took Pig off Tim, but Tim was hurt so badly he couldn't talk right for a few week😭)
Tim wasn't mad at Pig, but was mad at Buck for laughing at him💀 (its fine if u don't like the whole idea)
When Tim's car isn't working and he need to go some places, he would steal Buck's car and Buck finds out, gets really pissed at him for stealing his car
Speaking of Buck's car, Tim like riding with Buck when he's running errands (Tim's passenger princess😭 Buck is forces to buy him stuff) 💀
Sorry for writing so much. And sorry if you don't like some stuff I put down. But I would love to see what you come up with. (I love your headconnons there so awesome! I wanna know what you put for THESE TWO. And its them being friends not lovers I swear😭)
This is the same person that asked for the "Buck Merrill headconnons" just letting you know. :D And you know that Buck is my favorite character. :D I also loved what you wrote for him, and thanks for taking your time writing about him. Now I wanna know for this one. :D
OOoOo i actually dont see many ppl talk about buck n tim so id b happy to talk about it!!!
perhaps buck will b my third fav caribbean man of the outsiders one day
•i see them as business partners and friends!!! not exactly THEE closest of friends, but friends nonetheless!!!
•so like,,,both of em r black,,,,both got 4c hair,,,perhaps they share tips n tricks on how to maintain their hait🗽🗽
•i can totally see buck w cornrows, tim probably did it for him as a “thanks for letting me hide out here while the cops searched for me and patching me up”
•tim can braid hair thanks to practice on angela and curlys hair btw i feel like i should announce that
•tim absolutely does make fun of buck for being old even though it’s literally by a few years buck is so sick of it, ESPECIALLY when tims drunk, ur so real for this hc anon
•for tims bday he definitely abuses his free beer privileges n takes some home, if he can get it for free and not have to pay later he’s DEFINITELY gonna b on that
•buck doesnt rlly fight anymore but he for sure isnt rusty, hes the bartender AND the bouncer let that b known☝🏽☝🏽
•buck MIGHT join in on a rumble if tim RLLY needed the backup but thats a huge might
•AT FIRST pig was fucking terrified of tim, like she would run away from tim, but tim gave her some food ONCE and now she loves em
•sometimes when buck and tim get together for business reasons tims just petting pig cause fluffy dog goes brrrrr
•inspired by my dog but sometimes pig just takes tims hand and literally forces the guy wherever and tim wants to hate it but pig is a cutie so he lets it slide<33
•LIKE I SAID caribbean men, buck prolly taught tim some trinidadian creole english while tim taught buck some haitian creole #culturalkingswowiezowie
•if tims having a bad day or is just bored and doesnt rlly wanna go home he just goes to bucks bar to pick someone up or drink a bit hes not a busy man EVERY day surprisingly
•rlly when it comes to buck, if darry cant rlly relate to him he knows that buck will to some degree!!!
•ALSO ALSO hc that when tims locked up or gets arrested, he calls for buck to watch over angela and curly, cant have them without a guardian now
BUT YEA THIS IS WHAT I COULD COME UP W ON THE WHIM hope u liked it anon🫶🏽🫶🏽
and thx for liking the hcs :D!!
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natsmagi · 8 months
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I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!
BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*
if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......
ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️
it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people
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selamat-linting · 1 year
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parts 2 of my previous homestuck post, now on to the things i find silly!
-yaoi tournament will live free forever in my head. so as the horse cock. this is the worst thing hussie has ever done. i legit did not know it was an actual horse cock like i think it was just a giant blue dildo 😭😭😭😭
-the dancestors are really lame people like oh my god. beforus kids are giant dorks i cant believe their alternia counterparts are so badass like, take aranea and mindfang. just look at the contrast. first one is a nerd who would pay people for attention and the other is a girlboss who doesnt give a shit.
-one thing i do like from kankri is that he gave us plenty if funny karkat suffers joke. i love how this loser makes karkat do the walter white face lmaoooo he just cant get a break is he?
-and penis ouija!!! god why is he like that? everytime karkat is on screen i feel secondhand embarrassment like. i cant believe i shared classpects with this guy. why are you biting dave's cape are you in kindergarten? worst of all i think i've done something similarly embarrassing in school. thats it im changing my classpect im a knight of light from now on fuck off.
-still, thats not as horrible as rose's fuckup with her date. oh my god somebody gives her a chill pill she is going to lick herself bald like a stressed kitten. which is really funny because she and kanaya seems so... not nervous when talking to each other. you'd think their date would be a normal casual discussion between two awesome self assured girls. No its not. theyre both have gotten good at looking like theyre not close to exploding. but we all know none of them are Hinged.
-And oh, tavris they are doing you both dirty. like, its an improvement that vriska actually says something positive to him and that tavros did speak up against her at some points. but the narrative doesnt really want them to grow as a person. i think hussie has gotten too attached to vriska the unapologetic thief of light to the point that its reflecting badly on her and other's character development. okay fine i did say i wont take it seriously, but im a writer too. ofc i will notice the issues.
- this might be an unpopular opinion but i like the elevatorstuck music. gamzee is like, getting close to be my scrunkly like i know he does atrocities but he is really funny when doing it.
-the lands for the alpha kids are really fascinating. its less lively than the beta kids but im glad i actually get to experience the puzzles they have to solve on quests and its relations with the players' classpect. i want to see jane fulfilling her planets wish to be green and fertile. she gets too much shit talk from caliborn so i want to see her get a win yknow? and she's so goofy like her beta counterpart i want to see her happy and silly like egbert too.
-speaking of egbert, im kinda worried for him. can you believe it? he doesnt like con air anymore. i've been in his phase of starting to lose all joy in things i used to like and feeling lonely even with people around me and its not pretty. i know he went through a lot. i hope the experience with the dream bubble would make him happier even if just for a bit
-and another beta kids i want to be sad about: davesprite! he's so alone. all of his friends from the timeline is gone, he's not the main dave anymore and john keeps treating him like a replacement. its like he's relegated to a nobody who happens to have a recognizable face. poor guy.
-and to be sad again, i know i made fun of karkat a lot, but i have the biggest parental instinct for him. aside from terezi. he's the biggest crier out of the group. he's shouty and annoying but thats very much the kind of annoying shit that children do yknow? at first i dont like him because of his attitude to jade, but slowly i did warm up to him. he never really hated anybody and most of his tantrums are generally harmless to other people. in fact, he blames himself a lot about things that are out of his control. he's the one with the least body count from the rest of the trolls and he literally had to grew up hunted and unwanted by society. i want to give him a hug, i truly do.
-okay back to fanboying. roxy!!!! shit. man i adore that she has an aura that makes any surveillance camera blackout nearby. yes, girl, BECOME UNGOVERNABLE.
-and i cant believe im saying this, but i miss sollux. at first i was just joking about finding him interesting because he has my star sign and is good at coding but yeah. i do miss the guy. where is he really?
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naturenaruto · 1 month
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ksjdjsjdjd just saw a post about how 0-29 is the ~prologue~~ of ur life and how ur life doesnt ~Reyally™️~ start until ur 30.....and how ppl are just gOiNg To Be smarter more attractive more talented more comfortable over 30.........listen im 31 and let me tell you i would rather have been attractive talented comfortable with myself etc BACK WHEN I WAS A CHILD A TEENAGER AND IN MY 20S OKAY I DONT WANT MY LIFE TO JUST B E G I N AT FUCKINF 30 i wantes my life to begin at 0!!!!!! at 1 day old!!!!!! at 5!!!!! at 10!!!!!! at 15!!!!!! at 20!!!!!! fucking even 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i had been hot and talented and comfortable younger, because then that means you can ~~~get started~~~ sooner and have so much more time more experiences less time waiting to Become™️~~.........i really hate this new trend of people saying ur life starts at 30 theres really something so grody about that to me like they try to make it seem encouraging but it seems like they just want you to cosntantly keep waiting waiting waiting for ur life to begin and then BY THE TIME IT DOES its too late its already fuckin over i donr want to be a fucking 50 year old with a sports car i wanted to be a 25 year old with a car, did not have to be luxury. i wanted to be happy with the way i looked as a teen and in my 20s, what the fuck do i care now that im over 30? i wanted to be attractive in my youth because thats when it actually fucking matters i dont enjoy the fact that so much of the problems i had were because no one would help me and i didnt have the money or the awarenes to help myself which is complicated ofc but its not like life is about being hot im just saying i really resent the fact that i wasnt hot when i was young because THATS WHEN YOU WANT TO BE HOT. WHEN UR YOUNG. i look back on my teen years and my 20s and go wow it wouldve benefitted me a whole lot more to have money and be attractive and be more comfrotable with myself than now...after 30........like its great that it FINALLY happens but wouldnt you have rather. ot had crippling anxiety and been able to just go out ans have fun in ur youth.......id rather be hot from 13-29 then have it go downhill rather than to just start being hot at 30.....its like those are the Fun Years those are the important years i hate this idea that ur life only starts at 18 or 30 like what the fuck. ur life is continuous lmfao it doesnt just pick a day to start and i wish i had done things a whole lot sooner than waitingwaitingwaitjg until finnnnnallyy i gettttt to begin my life like what the fuck i wish i had been hot and talented and carefree in my 20s rather than in my 30s BECAUSE THAT WAS AN ENTIRE DECADE OF ANXIETY AND STRESS AND MISSING OUT ON EXPERIENCES AND NOT FEELING HAPPY OR COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF so why wouldnt!!!!!!! i want that to start earlier!!! the sooner the better lmao like try to do thigs as soon as posible so that u can enjoy as much time and experienxes as you can dont just wait wait wait until u can finallllly start ur life it reminds me of that shit where they go dont wait to use the good vanilla dont wait to use that candle or that stationary set like use it now!! and i love that bc i think theres something wrong with telling ppl to keep on waiting for their life to begin bc it takes somuch time and experienxes from them and it puts them on a staved off backburner and then theyre finally too old to really enjoy things like yay i have a sports car...but im 50 and what people are gonna fuckin care about that? like i finaly achieved it but its so late???? how can u enjoy it if ur old....like yay i finally get to go on that tropical vacation but ur 55??????? like what does that ecen matter anymore lmaooo like yay i finally get to travel the world.....after retiremenr?????? in my fucking 60s???? when i have to stop every ten minutes to catch my breath and my whole body aches and i cant just run around and be carefree and enjoy????
i wanted good health and to like the way i looked and to be doing something interesting in the beginning of my life, not the fucking end.
i wish i had gotten thingns done sooner and not waited so that i wouldve had so much more time and experiences. ur youth is the time that matters anyone who says ohhh ur life is just beggingi g at 30~~~ hee hee is suspicious to me like why do i have to wait? until im too old to care? too old to feel like i can still do things? too old to have a wild time? ur suppsoed to do that in ur teens and 20s, thats what that time is for. anyone whos like ohhh just waiiiit for it is conniving to me like why cant i go have fun and be what i want and do what i want now? why do i have to wait? and its because they dont want you to do the things you want they want to stave u off so that by the time you DO get around to it itll feel like its too late and theres no point
they want you to just wait so that youl end up changing ur mind and feel like well youths over theres no point and thats why......they dont want yoy to be young and carefree having fun they want u to be stressed and workworkwork until ur miserable and by the time u finally!!! get that car or house or plastic surgery or vacation then ur old and bitter and it wont even fucking matter any more and thsts wha they want! to ruin ur youth and childhood so that u dont have fun and it wastes ur potential
they dont want you to be carefree they want u on the grind worked to the bone fixated on until whenever yoy finaly get to ~start~ living ur life!!!!!!
its a scam!!!!
ur life is 0-30 thise are the inportant years anyone who says otherwise us just trying to ruin ur youth and tell u that thise years dont matter, they dont even count, theyre not important, only sfter ur 30 and have a career house mortgage marriage baby #1 THENNNN ur life finally begins and hmmmmmmmm why would they say that????? huhh?????
because they think the only shit that matters is work marriage baby baby baby baby baby
thats all they want from you, ur production value
work work work and then make baby baby baby
so ofc ur lifes gonna start after 30 thats what they want bc by then its all over snyways
they dont want you to see ur youth as important they want it to be as awkward and stressful and boring and unsatisfying as possible, so that u just feel like u have to waitwaitwait until ur finally able to begin actually living, which, convieniently enough, is only going to start AFTER its really over!!!!! they dont want u to know this
they just want youth to be uncomfrotable and stressful when it should be the best time of ur life
i wish i had been thinfs and done things sooner. i refuse to fall for the bullshit of ohhh it doesnt reyallllly start until ur 18/21/30/etc. like it starts from fuckin day one id rather have a sports car and be attractive and doing things in my 20s rather than my 40s. thats when it matters.
they just want you to waste ur youth waiting
because then ur not at ur full potential and ur limited and unhappy then thats how they get you
it matters so muchmore in ur youth pls dont waste ur teenage years waiting for life to start
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cassthecringe · 2 years
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thoughts on part 5 characters? especially part 5 pol 👀
OHHHH THANK U SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN <3 i will try to be brief (<- me, lying)
since u mentioned him in particular, lemme talk abt part 5 pol first (:
polnareff p5: i actually did like seeing him but i wish he was more relevant or at the veyr least we got to see him longer before he got nerfed by the second worst jojo villain. regardless of that tho i did like seeing how he matured even if it does make me sad cause you dont see any of his silliness/lightheartedness anymore..it's all serious and grim..): which i do mostly attribute to the fact we only see him in part 5 in the midst of a tense battle but still. i do think it goes to show pol lost some of the humor he found in the world...... ):
giorno: i understand why ppl have beef with him but i love giorno he is such a funny little guy <3 he's this insane teenager with a god complex but he's not an asshole about it like say his dad was. he's just very confident in his own abilities even when he has no experience (like when he fought bruno lmao). i do like the first half of giorno more than the second half tho if only cause the second half seemed to forget he was a kid and let him act as such. and to an extent i get that like gio is an abuse survivor ofc he's gonna act "mature for his age" but he still did that while being silly funny in the first half but in the second half they drained that away. honestly im sure this is more a david pro problem than a giorno problem im sure if i read the manga it'd be better. but as it stands this is it. anyway i love gio i think he's fun at least my perception of him
bruno: i do like bruno but he's not my favorite admittedly (not for any particular reason he just didnt scratch my brain the way other characters did). i do like him tho he feels very cautionary-tale to me...he has such a warped world view due to being involved in gang shit since he was a kid and it hurts ): you can see him try and save his past self in his early interactions w narancia...some part of him knows he was dealt and unfair card. but other than that tho he does deliberately lead ppl to the gang like fugo and abbachio (not necessarily to hurt them but really fucked up how some people he thinks are better than this life and some he drags down with him...) and i just think that's interesting to think about. he's not a saint but i think he thinks of himself as one or at least it's what he's trying to be. god his catholic guilt has gotta be nuts. he did love his team but i dont think bruno knows how to care for people...he's a soldier, a captain, it's what he's been for so long, i dont think he knows how to stop seeing everything in that lens (we esp see him struggle with this in trying to be a mentor figure for trish because he's used to having like boss authority over the people he mentors, but he doesnt have that hold over trish so he needs to learn how else he can guide her without relying on her Having to listen to him). it's so sad ):
abbacchio: i do not rlly think abt abbacchio i gotta be real. i dont lean one way or another. i think he can be very funny tho. i wish we saw more of his interactions with trish and narancia since theyre the two (besides bruno) he's clearly the softest for in the gang. also i do ship bruabba but i wish ppl would lay off the codependancy angle a bit...yes bruno is definitely abbacchio's crutch but i dont think he (abbacchio) would be happy about that, he hates that he forces bruno to care for him like a child and he hates that bruno is willing to feed that dynamic (not that bruno has like conscious malicious intentions behind that but. again he doesnt knw how else to help ppl without having some sort of authority over them and this dyanmic gives him that so). anyway abbacchio has potential to be the funniest gang member but it wasnt utilized in the story very well. sad!
mista: i also dont think about mista much i am not gonna lie. i dont rlly care abt him not by fault of the narrative he's just not the kinda character i fall for i guess.
narancia: fucked up meow meow! i love naranica he's such a funny guy. he's so needlessly violent and crazy but also he's very cheerful and silly it's so fun <3 his death was complete and utter bullshit. i love how everyone on the team + trish loves him so so much cause its representative of my feelings. he's just so loveable what with his absolute insanity. <3. i dont think narancia is a necessarily deep character but that's okay i dont think every character needs to be. it's enough that he's a funny crazy little guy who loves a good warm meal and swinging his pocket knife around <3 also he's a very loyal and kind friend. also congrats to narancia for having the only good localized stand name (lil bomber is sooo cute and fitting)
trish: TWISH MY BEST FRIEND TRISH so unpopular opinion she should've been the part 5 main character. i know it ruins the joestar bloodline thing but well then maybe they should've put giorno in her situation cause it was a great set up. at the very least she should've been the one to finish off diavolo not GER. anyway god i love her pink <3 anyway i love that she's a scared 15 year old but she's also a tiny bit vain and blunt and just gosh <3 points for depicting a 15 year old girl fairly decently esp in a shonen running in the 90s. she's very sympathetic i feel like u rlly feel for her. she just wants to be safe. she just wants the gang to be safe she didn't ask for them to die for her. she didn't want anyone to die for her. i think endlessly about her survivor's guilt and how she and polnareff bond over it. ugogugh. i love her stand too i really really really wish we got to see more of spice girls UGHH.
fugo: FUGO MY BEST ABSOLUTE FRIEND FUGO. i love fugo i have loved him since his lil giorno team up episode with man in the mirror i love him so bad and purple haze feedback really just sealed the deal god FUGO <3333333333 I LVOE YOU FUGO. FUCK. god idk i just love his duality a lot...he wants to learn how to be gentle but all he is is sharp corners and fire and angry angry angry angry at his family angry at bruno angry at himself angry but they're miles away form who he is can he really change enough? can he even change at all. also he loves bruno and he loves the team and he wants to be better for them but ssnjsjnsd;s; UOGUGHGHHHHH FUCK GOD AR EYOU KIDDING ME. i love purple haze and the whole conflict fugo has with him and how it relates to himself...also i love protecting my own experiences and . i guess trauma? for lack of better word i love projecting my own trauma and experiences onto him because. well. similar setups is all i wall say </3. anyway i love fugo i love that he returns to the team and fights for his redemption i love him i love the bonds he had with abbacchio/bruno/narancia/GIORNO. FUCK. i love him. he's my best friend.
diavolo/doppio: second worst jojo villain behind part 8's. i hate him he's so dreadfully fucking boring. the only reason he's not worse than part 8's villain is at least he was foreshadowed from the beginning. but he's just super lame and not interesting (like pucci) or fun to watch (like kira/dio). i don't even care about the endless death cycle because i do not care about him! not even in a love to hate him way! he does not matter to me. so fuckign stupid
most of la squadra i do not give a shit about but
risotto: i like him <3 i wish we got to see more of him. his stand was fucking awesome. he cared about his team so much ):
pesci: awesome guy. pretty cool. best la squadra member by far. his face off with bruno was awesome
okay I'm ending there cause this got long but thank u for asking dude! it means a lot <3
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Milk Bread
Oikawa!Reader x Ushijima
a/n: bahahaha oikawa would literally disown yall though
anon request:  Hiii if your request is still open could you also do an Oikawa's lil sis!Reader x Ushijima please~ fufufufu
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ushijima and i could go get our own farm and have our own cows and horses and uggghhh
this entire,,,,, fiasco was an actual accident
it all started when you were so hungry that you ended up eating tooru’s milk bread
you were part of the girls track team in seijoh and competitions were starting soon so the team has been making practice mandatory during lunch as well
this caused you to only be able to survive off of snacks rather than your normal bento so you were blazing hungry when you got home
and when you are hungry, you go on a rampage
your brother was staying later practice so he wasnt home when you arrived
the fridge door almost unhinged and out the window by how roughly and quickly you opened it
the only thing in there was bottles of water and vegetables and you were not hungry enough to eat freaking raw onions
then you searched all over the cabinets for anything edible until you stumbled upon a clearly hidden milk bread
you guessed that tooru hid it bc he knew either you or takeru would eat it but heh, he didnt hide it good enough 
finders keepers, right?
and as long as he doesnt find out it was you, itd be fine
you giddily opened the bag and ripped off a piece before smiling at how delicious it was 
but this was cut short
you were so caught up in your happiness with the food that you missed iwa and tooru coming home until you heard your brother scream
‘Y/N-CHAN!’
your eyes flew open and you froze, mid-bite 
his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape as he watched you scarf down the rest of the bag quickly before dashing upstairs
but tooru’s shout for iwa-chan made the buff guy snatch you from the hallway despite you kicking and screaming at him to let go of you
‘IWA-CHAN NO!!!!!’
you yelled but he just tightened his hold on you
‘i bought oikawa that bag, y/n’
you pouted then crossed your arms
‘you bought it for an oikawa, not a specific oikawa though’
so tooru ordered you to go to his favorite bakery, which was all the way out there like an hour away, and buy him a dozen bags of milk bread
‘TOORU YOURE GOING TO GET FAT!’
*offended oikawa*
‘I BURN ALL OF IT DURING PRACTICE ANYWAYS!’
‘hm, explains why you have no cake’
y/n stop thats so mean !!!!
but doorkawa though
so there you were, shoving all of the stock they have in the store into the big cart 
if someone were to walk by you right now, theyd stare at the cart then at you weirdly for being a milk bread addiction
and thats exactly what happened
ushijima went to the bakery bc tendou won a bet and demanded a milk bread from this specific bakery
so he was entering the building, a single milk bread in mind, when he saw you, literally shoving all the bags down with an arm into the cart
he paused, like 5 feet away from you, just watching as you continued to take all the bags they had in stock into the cart
but he just wanted one bag so he went up to your cart and wordlessly took a bag which you saw and caught his arm
‘um, excuse me, what are you doing?’
he gave you a stoic face
‘i walked 30 minutes for this bag of milk bread. im sure you can leave one for someone else’
you were about to retort when you saw who this guy was
ofc if your brother was oikawa tooru, youd know his hatred for the apparent ‘farmer idiot’ ushijima wakatoshi from shiratorizawa
the familiar eyes and the furrowed eyebrows
yep, this had to be him
‘you,,,, ushiwaka’
he nodded
‘yes. now if you’ll excuse me, ill be going’
but you again held him back
‘ushijima-san! take this-all of this! i dont need it anymore!’
you pushed the cart in his direction before bolting out the store in a hurry
now ushijima is known to predict almost anything that came his way
but never has he even THOUGHT that a girl would give him a cart filled with nearly 50 bags of milk bread
the store lady pushed the cart to the cashier and only did he finally snapped out of it when she told him the total
‘oh, um, you forgot this bag too’
what was he going to do with all of this bread?
you pedaled your bike home and when tooru saw you empty handed, he started shouting
but you just faked a pout
‘ushijima wakatoshi-san took it from me’
his ears turned red
and all he could see was red
i see RED! rED! ooOOhH rED!!!!
he got his phone out and dialed a number before shouting into it
‘YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS, IWA-CHAN! USHIWAKA-!’
ngl, you didnt really think that he would completely forget about it but he fell for it
you planned to use tooru’s hatred for him and just a single utter of his name could completely brainwash him from the milk bread stealing situation
‘MAYBE HES GOING TO BUY ALL THE MILK BREAD IN THE WORLD UNTIL I GO TO THE DAMN SHIRATORIZAWA! WHAT IF HES DOING THAT?! IWA-CHAN-!’
the entire situation completely slipped your mind a few weeks later and you even forgot that you met ushijima and left him a cart of the treats
but that was quickly remembered
similar to your brother, there was one day per week where you have no track practice so you found yourself in their gym at wednesday, just waiting for iwa and tooru to finish practice
you were just busy doing your homework and trying to help kyoken with all of his missed work when kindaichi shrieked from the side
‘ushijima wakatoshi!’
JAPONN
at the mention of his name, everyone turned to him and followed his line of sight where indeed, the tall farmer boy stood at the door
oikawa tooru was so shocked to see him and his nerve to show up at HIS TURF that he didnt say anything
‘hello. is oikawa y/n here?’
then all hell broke lose
tooru was screaming at you in betrayal
iwa was shouting and hitting oikawa to stop and holding him back from lunging at you
the others were yelling at how you knew this famous player
while kyoken just sitting there all chill
‘you know that guy?’
‘uh-well-kinda?’
‘nice’
you quickly packed up your stuff, confused and surprised, before bolting down the bleachers to the door where you grabbed ushiwaka’s hand to drag him away from the gym where tooru couldnt find you
you finally stopped by an alleyway about a street away from school and turned to him with scrunched eyebrows
‘ushijima wakatoshi-san! what are you doing here?!’
you whisper-yelled 
but he just unzipped his gym bag and handed you a bag of milk bread
you were so caught off guard that you just held it on your hands and stared at it
ushijima noticed your expression and pointed at the food
‘i have a lot of it at home. i figured you wanted one’
you slowly looked up at him
‘ushijima-san,,,,, i,,, why-’
‘you seem to like milk bread seeing your cart full of it. i thought you still wanted one and i need to get rid of all of it anyways’
‘but,,,, you shouldnt have come all the way to seijoh! nii-chan-’
then you stopped
wait, hold on
how did he even know your name
‘how do you know my name, ushijima-san?’
he blinked
‘youre a known track runner in the prefecture in both the girls and boys. a friend of mine wanted to recruit you for the school team but you turned it down’
you paused and chuckled
‘ah of course. i actually wanted to go but nii-chan considered it a betrayal so i couldnt go’
‘but you should’ve come to-’
‘SHUT UP USHIJIMA! AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!’
tooru’s figure was panting a little bit away from behind ushijima and he was pointing at him heatedly
you sighed and face-palmed but you flinched when ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders and held you close
‘she has talents that could take her to far places. i understand that she refused it but you might have greatly influenced that decision and never asked her opinion about it. im here to ask her to re-think this decision and join us instead’
‘YOURE NOT EVEN IN THE TRACK TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!’
tooru raged and ran forward before grabbing your arm roughly to pry you away from the dirty touch of ushiwaka
‘we’re leaving, ushijima. and you better not talk to my little sister again’
he hissed and dragged you away but you turned your head and raised a hand
‘later, ushijima-san!’
‘SHUT UP Y/N!’
after that, ushijima knew to approach you in secret
you saw him by the gates after practice and you hurriedly hid him away from sight bc the moment someone saw that familiar purple jacket, theyd know immediately
‘ushijima-san! what do you want now?’
you whispered and again, he reached into his bag to give you a bag of milk bread
‘i need to get rid of them. and i also want to hear your opinions about joining shiratorizawa next year’
you laughed, softly clutching the bag
‘in truth, the bread was for nii-chan. and regarding next year, i dont think im leaving seijoh, ushijima-san, so sorry’
he nodded
‘i understand. but i do hope you will think about it, oikawa-san’
you cringed at the formality coming from someone as important as him
‘please, call me y/n. it sounds really weird from you’
‘okay, y/n-san’
‘no, just y/n’
‘y/n’
‘good’
then these meetings turned to another, then twice more, then everyday
it was becoming a routine at this point
track practice ended at 6, about 30 minutes before the seijoh volley so you could easily slip away from tooru, and ushi’s ended around 5 so he was able to meet you at the alley by your school
tbh, you didnt understand how you were meeting as such a shady place and you didnt understand why he would take such a long trip just to give you milk bread and ask you about the school
however, that soon changed
soon, you just talked about school and life in general while munching on food
he would occassionally talk about this first year goshiki and some setter shirabu and how they fought constantly
you knew a little bit of his best friend tendou and his dorm life back in shiratorizawa
he knew that you weren’t exactly in track for fun, but for scholarships since you werent exactly smart
part of you wondered if he used the dozens of milk bread in his house as an excuse to see you and make you eat them as compensation when he couldve just sent them back
yet eventually,
your conversations helped you know a little bit of each other without the title of fastest runner oikawa y/n or u-19 japan ushijima wakatoshi
‘tori accidentally broke a hurdle and sprained her knee so she had to sit out during practice. it was a mess because she was screaming about the pain and caused practice to end early’
you whined while chewing
he remained quiet so you turned to look at him, who was just staring at you
‘ushijima-san? you okay?’
‘waka,, toshi. call me wakatoshi’
you tilted your head to the side
‘i,, i can’t call you that, ushijima-san’
‘please, call me that. we’re friends, right?’
a genuine laugh escaped from you
‘oh dear. i mean, yeah, we’re friends, i guess. but nii-chan would not appreciate this friendship’
‘but doesn’t he like you having friends?’
he was confused as to why tooru’s even in the conversation
‘no, ushijima-san. i meant, he would not like me being friends with you’
‘why does he have a say in this?’
you paused
he was right
why did tooru’s opinion matter?
why did it matter so much that you’ve been hiding in this stinky alleyway with ushijima wakatoshi for a few weeks all because you were scared someone you knew saw you?
‘wakatoshi-san, do you have a brother?’
‘no’
‘hm, makes sense’
you laughed then looked away, straight at the dumpster that stood behind him a few feet away
‘my parents,,, are always working. even when i was young, they were constantly working so i dont really have good memories with them since they were rarely home. my sister, she was already in high school when i was born so the only person i really had was my nii-chan’
ushijima’s stare on you never wavered as he remained looking at you, inspecting you almost, the way your nose curved or your lips looked a little chapped or that crumb that stuck itself on the corner of your lip
‘he has always done everything for me,, in a way, he raised me and i appreciate everything hes done for me, yknow? and i want to repay him for all of that but im sorry to say this, but he doesnt exactly like you, wakatoshi-san. and me being friends with you, him not even knowing we’re meeting up like this, he would get very angry with me. and i dont to disappoint him’
you looked down at the remaining bread and softly sighed
it annoyed you a little that you cared so much for what tooru thought
why couldnt you live your life?
why couldn’t you just be your own person and meet people that you like?
‘we have only have 3 bags of milk bread left’
ushijima’s comment took you aback bc its not like you just told him something so personal or anything
‘huh?’
‘i need to buy some more’
you shook your head and waved your hands around
‘wakatoshi-san, i just told you, like, something really personal-’
‘but i dont care about all that though’
he blinked, confused as to why it mattered to him
‘what-’
‘y/n, havent you noticed that you’ve been calling me by my first name?’
his question made you stop and realize that you were saying wakatoshi
‘oikawa tooru is simply a person who helped raise you, he didnt make you nor does he have control over you. your life was given to you to live and create, not to be molded or shaped by someone else’
you nodded and patted his arm in appreciation, still awkward about having interactions with the guy
but he reached behind you and patted your back, averting his gaze forward
‘you have talent in track so i think you should keep running for a team that shares your skills. like your brother’s talents deserve to be played in a team full of undefeatable players’
you chuckled and shot him a confused glance
‘wakatoshi-san, youre over here telling me to do what i want yet youre telling me to do something else’
he seemed completely innocent to his hypocritical statement as he just looked at you
‘im just influencing you. theres a difference’
you shook your head and continued eating your bread, throwing the entire topic behind your mind
‘youre right, wakatoshi-san. we do need to buy some more milk bread’
little by little, you started to stray away from your brother
like you started coming home late and your wednesdays were now booked up with someone else
ofc he noticed and he went straight to iwa-chan to complain about it
by the second wednesday, he got fed up and actually cancelled practice which caused iwa to beat him up for stopping practice for something stupid
‘let your sister be, shittykawa!’
tooru pouted and rubbed the now sore spot on his head
‘somethings wrong, iwa-chan! i can sense it! shes hiding something and if its kept from me, of course i want to know!’
this led iwa to be dragged along with him as he followed you walking to somewhere
he remembered you getting flustered and smiling at him when you refused his offer to get ramen after practice with the guys
‘i have plans, sorry, nii-chan’
this caused oikawa to be very sus bc no tea, but he knows you dont hang out w other people outside school
so this led him to stalking you instead of talking and asking you like a normal adult
iwa was also there bc he lowkey sus and worried for your safety if oikawa does decide to lunge at your boyfriend
the two boys were huddled behind a car as you were just walking cheerfully, skipping every step
‘iwa-chan, she doesnt have a boyfriend, right?’
‘shes pretty and kind, it would be hard to believe she doesnt have one’
but as they continued to follow you, they started getting confused as to why you were walking in such an unfamiliar neighborhood
this wasnt exactly their turf and when they noticed a familiar looking uniform a boy was wearing as he walked down the street, oikawa almost busted a blood vessel
aw look at him tremble-
‘what in the ever-loving god of anime is she doing in shiratorizawa!’
he whisper-yelled
‘iwa-chan! is she transferring there?!’
‘shittykawa shut the hell up!’
you heard a familiar voice behind you and quickly turned around but saw nothing
you swear you heard hajime’s voice
but it couldve been just your imagination since you’ve heard him call that for nearly 6 years
you continued walking forward and you jumped to wave when you saw ushijima leaning against the school gates
‘wakatoshi-san!’
you greeted and he nodded, acknowledging your presence
‘y/n, you were late’
you giggled
‘why? did you miss me wakatoshi-san?’
‘hm, yes. the milk bread bakery is going to close in 15 minutes’
he said and held out his hand which you gladly accepted
tooru was basically strangling iwa by how he was so ANGY that his little baby sister was fraternizing with the enemy!!!
back on you though!!!
you still blushed when you held his hand but you knew there was nothing about it bc you ltr almost got ran over once
so basically,
you were finally opening up to going out in public w him as long as it was far away
and he suggested going to some ramen shop that they frequent at for some food
you were just walking side by side and humming a tune when you were interrupted by a loud honk that freaked you out and freeze
but ushijima, being a volleyball player and developing quick instincts, grabbed your shoulders and pushed you both to the side, away from the car
youve never had that experience before so you were quite freaked out and you were just hanging on to his jacket for dear life, hiding your face in it
he sensed your panic and placed a hand on top of your head to provide some comfort
‘its okay, y/n. dont worry bc ill always be there to protect you’
you turned red at that statement but ushijima was known to be very naive and he didnt understand that underlying suggestion in his words
‘thank you, wakatoshi-san’
you mumbled and he gently pried you away but he held your hand
‘this will allow me to pull you quicker and to make sure you dont wander too far’
you pouted
‘hmph, im not a child, wakatoshi-san’
he smiled, surprising you bc wowza was he showing emotions?
‘you need to be taken cared of, do you not? no matter what age, ill still look out for you’
to this day, he still kept your hand on his grip and your heart kept beating really fast
all these hangouts were really showing you the real ushijima wakatoshi that was so different from the court and you really liked it
from the strong and cold and cruel player to the awkward, funny, and naive schoolboy
he was an enigma and you were attracted to the remaining iceberg that maintained being hidden under the waters of his physical appearance
focusing on something else, you were tugging him along excitedly bc you forgot your bento at home today and you STARVED
‘lets get sweets!’
you cheered excitedly and with his hand still laced into yours, he looped it around your shoulders so he pulled you closer
‘semi told me he does this to his girlfriend when she gets too hyper’
um, sire, where did that come from?
from oikawa’s spot, he was starting to get hurt by how harshly he dug his fingernails in his palms while iwa was getting angry at how carelessly this farmer was handling his sister
but you werent bothered by his weird oblivious comments
‘im very hungry so we must hurry, wakatoshi-san!’
‘yes, yes’
unbeknownst to you, he kept looking down to observe your faces
when you would see a store, your eyes would widen and youd mumble about wanting to go there sometimes
when you saw a baby in a stroller, youd coo and unintentionally squeeze his hand
it was cute
and it made his heart jump every time
today was no different occasion
and he was finally able to put a pin into this weird action from his organ
lmao im so tired bruh im cackling as i type
earlier today during practice, he felt that jump when you whined to him about leaving your bento at home and expressing your excitement to get some food
that jump returned and he was so focused on texting you that he didnt notice his teammates watching him in shock
tendou even started hitting semi, confused and flabbergasted
‘ushijima-san,,,’
goshiki started but shirabu smacked him to be quiet
‘oh, i might not come to practice on friday since im going to the doctor’
the mention of the doctor, everyone freaked out bc they cant have their prized player injured or hurt
‘what,, whats wrong?’
semi asked and ushijima finally locked up his phone
‘im having weird random jumps in my chest and slight tickles in my stomach. google told me to go to the doctor if it persists so i made an appointment’
they all sweatdropped
goshiki uwu babie was biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing and thinking his senpai and rival was having an illness
but semi and tendou knew whats up
‘wakatoshi-kun, who were you texting?’
they all noticed the slight widening of his eyes and the sprinkle of light that shined through
‘oh, oikawa y/n. we’re friends now’
everyone shared a look bc he didnt really have friends outside the team and didnt bother himself with unnecessary relationships like these
‘oh god’
tendou mumbled and his grin widened
‘i,,im no doctor, ushijima-san, but i think youre experiencing the symptoms of a crush’
shirabu was basically the smartest than the others combined so when he said something like that, they believed him immediately
‘crush?’
ushijima wondered
‘dont tell me you dont know what that is’
goshiki muttered in disbelief
‘im familiar with the definition of the attraction to another person. but ive never experienced it myself’
yall why am i writing him to talk like this
‘youve been so busy with volleyball your entire life that you probably havent had time to actually admire the girls we have in school’
tendou reasoned so ushijima went to go wait for you by the gates and observed the females that passed by
nope, they all didnt strike him for anything
he just gave up until he saw you waving for him all enthusiastically and there it was
a simple glance at your smile and it leapt
it only got worse when you giggled and he clenched his fist to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest
the entire time, he felt it, especially holding your hand
to really be honest, he only did that after what happened and his mother used to do that to him to protect him from other cars
now that he had someone to protect, he was doing the same thing
you clearly didnt mind and just swung your hands along the entire time
eventually, yall arrived 
the lady at the front was now accustomed by your appearances and she waved at you
‘hello ushijima-kun! oikawa-chan!’
you greeted her happily while ushi just nodded at her
your brother and his best friend decided it was best to stand outside to not garner suspicion ltr yall are stalking and everyone knows since the bell rang whenever it was opened
tooru felt his heart clench at the thought of you being on a date with this,,, !!!! farmer boy!!!!
the sister complex in this one is quite strong
it got even worse when he saw your giggling form and ushijima holding you close with your shoulders
next thing he knew, he entered the bakery and ripped you away from him
ofc you were surprised bc wtf why was here?
‘NII-CHAN?!’
‘oh, hello, oikawa’
^^ 2 types of people
‘didnt you hear me when i told you to stay away from my sister?’
he seethed
‘yes, i heard you. but i dont care’
‘wakatoshi-san!’
you whisper-yelled bc his answer clearly made your brother angrier
‘well, i need you to start caring bc you are not welcome to be a part of our family! i will never accept you as my brother-in-law! i will never visit! you hear me?!’
your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed in embarrassment
‘NII-CHAN! WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! WHAT ARE YOU SPOUTING ABOUT?! AND WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!’
he didnt bother to hear you and started dragging you by the arm
but you wrenched out of his grip and ran to ushijima, who held you close
‘hes my friend, nii-chan. i dont care if you dont like him but hes nice to me and he hasnt given me any reason to not be friends. now try to be a grown-up for just a few minutes and leave me alone so i can go hang out with my friend and you go back home with iwa-chan’
you firmly stated, glaring at him and tooru felt sad at this entire thing
were you growing up?
despite only being a year younger, you were always that ran to him for everything bc you looked up to him so much
but now, you were refusing and becoming your own person
you were still his baby sister but now, you were a grown woman who could make her own choices
and he had no choice but to accept that
‘okay. but come back home soon, okay, y/n?’
tooru’s quiet voice made your expression fall and you made a move to go to him but he already made his exit
‘nii-chan,,,’
you mumbled but ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders
‘you can go to him, y/n. we can-’
‘no. im,,, happy that he finally realized it. so lets continue’
you smiled up at him and he nodded, going back to looking through the cupcakes
‘how do you think hed take it if he finds out i like his sister?’
he off-handedly asks to no one but you heard and jumped
okay, you were used to his random comments and questions but this one had to be the one that took you aback the most
‘H-HAH?!’
but he doesnt seem bothered
‘my teammates told me that i have a crush on you so if i were to act on that feeling, would you accept me?’
your eyes flittered everywhere and you grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned him down to his level
‘ar-are you seriously confessing to me right now?’
he shrugged, so nonchalant
‘yes. before getting your brother’s approval, i should get yours first. will you let me be yours, oikawa y/n-san?’
your face scrunched up and you nodded, pulling him in for a hug
‘i like you a lot, ushijima-san. like a lot’
he softly smiled and buried his neck in your neck
‘i noticed when you didnt care about your brother’s dislike towards me’
‘yanno, for someone who is so against us together, hes the reason we even met in the first place’
he pulled away and looked at you
‘really?’
‘yep. i told you this, didnt i? i came for milk bread yet left with a boyfriend’
‘over a span of a few months’
you rolled your eyes but still laughed
‘yes, a few months and nearly a hundred bags of milk bread later’
the old lady was watching the whole thing and only made her presence obvious when she squealed
‘OH YOUNG LOVE! GET ANYTHING YOU WANT TODAY, DEARIES! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF NEW LOVE AND FOR MANY MORE!’
you and ushijima shared a look before busting out laughing, you freezing when you heard his chuckles
he noticed your stare at him and he asked you whats wrong
you shook your head before grinning
‘im already already looking forward to falling in love with you. so make me fall really hard, okay?’
you just unlocked blushy and flustered ushijima wakatoshi
when you went home that night with bags full of milk bread, your brother practically forgave you
but you accidentally blurted out of your new official relationship and you knew what he did?
oikawa screamed
a/n: sorry if i was gone for 2 days bc selling sunset came season 3 came out on friday !!!! but heres an update and i might post another later bc tomorrow’s my first day of school and id be too busy to update but id probably update in wednesday so feast on these in the meantime!!!!!!
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novannna · 3 years
Note
⭐️?
ty for the ask dt!!!
hmm i really like what i did with this section from my nobell pirate au
"...Nova’s grin widened.  “Guilty as charged.”  She noticed the other king’s still body.  “A little scuffle?”
“Something like that,” the crown prince cut in.  “What do you want?”
“From you?” Nothing.”  Nova laughed.  “Bind everyone’s hands, and feet if you can,” Nova barked to her crew.  “We don’t want anyone running off, do we?”  She raised her pistol and fired a shot.  It struck the wood right next to a woman attempting to sneak away down below.  She screamed, and dropped to the ground, shaking.
“What do you mean you want nothing from us?” the prince asked.  “Why are you here?”
Nova grabbed his hands roughly, and wrapped a rope around them.
“The world isn’t all about you, sweetheart.  And you should be thanking me,” she grinned.
“What do you mean,”  he demanded.
“You don’t have to rule anymore.  You’ll never bear the burden of the crown.  So… You’re welcome!”  Nova laughed brightly, and threw him down to the floor.  He grunted, and tried to rise up, but Nova placed her booted foot on her chest, pushing him back down.
“Now, where’s the dear bride?  I have to greet both sides of the couple.”
“Here,” a quiet voice said.
Nova stalked towards the source, grinning as people flinched away so quickly they toppled over.  Oh, how she loved being feared.   The rush of power she got.  It made Nova full.  It reminded her of how far she had come.  She wasn’t a helpless little girl anymore.  She had come far.  She had done things that were once considered impossible.
Nova Jean Artino was the most feared person to ever sail the seas, and she had done it all on her own.
She was the pirate Nightmare.  And they should fear her.
Especially this small, quivering white clad figure before her.
“So,” Nova said, her voice cutting across the quiet deck.  “You’re the girl the prince chose to wed.”  Nova smirked.  “And who is the lucky lady?”
“You know, I’m hurt you don’t recognize me,” the voice said.  It was low, and achingly familiar.
Nova raised her eyebrows.  “Should I?  You know I meet a lot of women and-”  she stopped talking suddenly.  The girl raised her head, and met Nova’s eyes with her own.  The dark amber stared at her.  Soft brown skin, and artfully arranged blonde dreadlocks.
“Hello, Nova,” Danna said softly.
Nova felt her breath catch in her throat.  Danna was striking in her wedding dress.  Her wedding dress .  Danna was marrying the prince.  Her Danna.  Her Danna was throwing her freedom away.
“Hello, Danna,” Nova said, struggling to get the words out.  “Sorry to interrupt the happy occasion.”
Danna scoffed.  “I should thank you.  Nothing about this is happy.”
Nova tried to smirk.  “Then, your welcome, milady .”  She sank into a deep curtsy.
“Nova, what are you doing here?” Danna asked.
What was Nova doing here?  Just the glance of Danna was enough to knock her off her pedestal.  She lost sight of her goals.  Lost sight of her past.  Forgot everything but the girl next to her.  Danna’s very breath was poisonous.  She slipped into the cracks in Nova’s body, and took hold of her.  She made Nova forget who she was.
Danna was deadly, and Nova was addicted to her.
That would not do.
“I’m doing my job.”  Nova inhaled deeply, and looked away.  “Tie her up, and put her with the others,” she barked to her crew.  “I don’t have time for pleasantries, love,” she said to Danna.  “Take her away.”
“Nova!”  Danna screamed.  “Stop, you have to listen to me!”
Nova paused.  “Gag her too,” she responded.  “I don’t have to listen to anyone.  You listen to me.”
Nova drew her sword, and stalked down the deck, dragging the tip against the ground behind her.
“I am in charge here.  You are all my prisoners.  And luckily for you, I don’t care about your pitiful lives.  So, if you behave, you can keep them.  Am I clear?”
A hurried response of yes’s were quickly returned.
“Good.”  Nova smiled.  “Then, you will not say another word until my uncle is here.”
King Simon looked up quickly.  “Uncle?”
Nova spun around, sword tip already at his throat.  “Did you not hear a word I said?”
He flinched back.
“Good.”  Nova smiled, teeth glinting.  “Any other comments?”  She asked, sheathing her sword.
No one responded.
“Excellent.” Nova laughed.  “Don’t you just love weddings?”
ok so in the first few paragraphs, im just obssessed w nova being a smug little bitch, i love her, she's literally so cocky, its really fun to write. and like, so power hungry too, she's kinda relishing all the fear and pwoer she's possessing, and just how in control she is.
and then, she asks to meet the bride, and obviosuly doesnt know it's danna, and while its from nova's perspective, i was trying to show everything that danna was feeling too, i didnt do a great job, but it worked kinda.
and nova know's its someone familiar, but she wouldn't have guessed danna, because, it was her danna, and she wasn't able to ever imagine her with someone else (even if it was all fake) and nova knows danna doesn't love adrian, not like how nova loves her, she knows she was ready to throw her future away just like that, and she's so fucking angry, but also, she shouldn't care, but she does and its ahhh
ofc all the while nova is struggling to seem normal.
also, so so obssesed w this paragraph : "What was Nova doing here?  Just the glance of Danna was enough to knock her off her pedestal.  She lost sight of her goals.  Lost sight of her past.  Forgot everything but the girl next to her.  Danna’s very breath was poisonous.  She slipped into the cracks in Nova’s body, and took hold of her.  She made Nova forget who she was.
Danna was deadly, and Nova was addicted to her."
i don't even know what commentary to add, just yeah... these bitches gay <333
and nova has to choose danna or her ambition, but she already made that choice, and now she has to make it again. And she does. Nova chose to secure her own future, and can't be around danna, because it hurts her to be near her, but not w her just yeah. ow </3 and she needs to act like the cold pirate she is while breaking apart inside and pain :)
yeah thats p much it idk, sorry that was long, people should go read the whole au, its not terrible writing crazily enough im so sorry if that didn't make sense im not at my best.
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milkybonya · 3 years
Note
Hi bby!!! Whats's up? I am once again asking for Wooseok content 🙏🏻🥺 Drunk confessions are always funny and so sincere.. do you think you can do something im with that? :o maybe a college AU ? If you don't feel ok with that you know you can change it as you please, I'll love it anywyas 😩 thanks!! 💛 I hope you had happy holidays💙💙
omg it is my FAVOURITE WOOSEOK ANON !! but not on anon anymore ofc hehe i love this idea! so much! (and happy holidays to you too ♡) i hope you enjoy this even though it's a whole mess~
Drunk Confession
Warnings: party/drunk mentions
Pairing: College!Wooseok x (gender neutral)reader
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When Wooseok, your roommate, texted you saying that he was going to a party, you considered going. You considered it because you knew this boy was going to get drunk and cause trouble like he always did... but this time, you didn't go. For once, he should clean up after his own messes.
You still kept your phone close to you in case he called, though, and later that night, your phone screen lit up.
[y/nnnn]jsjsjsjssnksnwoahsoehxuxh
???
weeeeeeee
Wooseok ur drunk
hidrunk im dad
no Wooseok. YOU'RE drunk. and im dad in this case i guess
ur notb dad... ur [y/n]&&@
yes.. im glad u know. why are u texting me when ur at a party?
i feel lonelyyy
ur literally surrounded by people
but none of fhem aee [y/n]
none of them what?
are
[y/n]
you havent caused any trouble, right?
no, [y/n].. are u troublencause i canf seem to stop causing you ehhehe
that... doesnt make sense?
uwu
?
pls pick me up i miss u pls ecome pls
it's late, Wooseok i'm tired :(
ur cute pls dont do :( or my heart go boom
we wouldn't want that to happen..
i'm coming, Wooseok
yaaaay
Without any further consideration, you grabbed your jacket and rushed out the door. Luckily, Wooseok had told you where he was headed, so you were able to find him easily. Also, the loud singing and flashing lights in the middle of a fairly quiet street of houses was a dead giveaway.
With your head down, you quietly entered the loud space, trying not to draw attention to yourself. There were people dancing wildly, socializing and doing.. many things that you would have rather not seen.
After asking around for Wooseok, you found him and his long limbs sprawled out on a couch.
"Wooseok! Are you okay?"
"[y/nnnnn]" he slurred, grinning.
Just as you were about to help him up, he fell off the sofa while reaching for your hand. Laughing it off, he brushed himself off and let you help him leave the house.
Out in the cool air of the night, Wooseok stumbled back to your shared dorm with you.
"So, Wooseok, did you have fun?" you asked him, smiling up at the tall boy.
He smiled, pushing up the frames of his glasses which he somehow had not lost.
"No. I told you, someone was missing. [y/n] was missing. And I was sad," he muttered, pointing his finger in the air while pouting.
"Why were you sad?" you asked.
"Because [y/n] wasn't there. They're my best friend, I can't live without them. My heart hurts when they're not near, but also," Wooseok continued, turning to look you in the eye, "I want to hold their hand and hug them.. we hug sometimes but I want to hug them for hours on end and give them a kiss on the cheek and.."
"Are we talking about the same [y/n]?" you asked, unsure how your legs were still moving when your roommate and best friend had just confessed to you.
"Yes.. you're [y/n], I like [y/n] and we're all happy! Woo!" Wooseok cheered, pumping his fist in the air.
"You're drunk.. You're just drunk.."
-
Back home, you tucked Wooseok in despite him whining about how he needs bed time cuddles and him holding onto you for dear life. Drunk Wooseok was affectionate Wooseok, so none if this was new, but butterflies were raging a storm within you.
When he said that he wanted to cuddle you snd hold your hand earlier that night, you tried to remain calm but you were so overwhelmed with emotion. Wooseok. Your goofy, fun but super cute roommate liked you... back. Back since you also liked him but suppressed it to maintain the friendship.
It was complicated.
But he was drunk.
He was just rambling. Perhaps he liked someone else but because he saw you so often, he had mistaken you for his true crush.
When he woke up in the morning and the two of you awkwardly ran into one another in the kitchen, and Wooseok's face turned red as he scratched the back of his neck while pretending to search the fridge for something... you had a feeling that maybe Wooseok wasn't just rambling last night. He was being overly nervous even though you'd seen him get drunk before.
"Wooseok... do you remember everything you said last night?" you slowly asked.
He simply hummed with his head still in the fridge.
"So you remember confessing to me?"
"I'll only remember it if you also like me back," he said, finally closing the fridge and turning to face you. His hair was a mess and his face was puffy but his smirk and the way his white shirt hung from his shoulders made him look so good.
"If you don't like me, then i don't remember a thing," he said, reaching for some cereal.
"No, Wooseok. I like you too.. only if your confession was a sincere one," you say, leaning forward against the kitchen counter.
"It was as sincere as it gets.. do I have permission to hold your hand now?"
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jeagerism · 3 years
Text
i think im lost again
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+ word count : honestly idek, ill take a guess at maybe nearly 700-800?
+ characters : levi ackerman, armin arlert, mentions of eruri and eremin (armin and levi r not shipped fuck out of here)
+ warnings : season 3 attack on titan spoilers, mentions of death, modern!au, levi is basically a dad without being a dad (does that make him a dilf??), angst i suppose
+ summary : erwin was always good at this, levi thinks. people stuck to him like glue.
+ author's note : this is just a personal modern!au headcanon that i ranted to a friend abt and decided to make it full out
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in modern aus i see eren as looking up to levi, bc he ooks up to him in the manga in some ways, levi cares abt his wellbeing n shit
well armin, since he was chosen to live over erwin, he'd look up to erwin in a modern au
and when erwin dies in that au bc ofc he has to die, armin is still a teenager.
i like to think that they all lived in the same town as kids, and erwin always looked out for armin since he had no one else other than his friends. 
he basically lets armin live with him when he's not with eren, who also has no family and sort of couch surfs between jean and sasha - sasha's dad loves eren for whatever reason so he stays there a lot, and welcomes armin and mikasa with him - and so erwin and armin r close
and levi is always around, so he sees armin a lot, even if he takes care of eren more - he lets eren stay at is house on nights when he feels like hes overstayed his welcome at sasha’s.
but levi still cares abt armin bc he sees how erwin cares abt armin and levi is in love with the blond facebook dad
but erwin died when armin is like 15, so he still needs someone to look out for him
and erwin asks levi to do that, bc he trusts him and knows levi would take care of him just like he had  
anyways, he asks levi to take care of him and levi does
but armin is a 15 yr old who just lost yet another person who cares abt him 
and even tho hes grateful that levi cares for him, he misses erwin so much. 
he acts out bc of it bc hes a kid going through trauma and its what kids do. he starts acting even worse than eren and eren is a fucking demon spawn
armin and eren share a room, even tho levi had two empty rooms so they could have their own, and eren has stuff in the other room but armin doesn’t like the dark so eren stays there with him.
and levi isn’t really good at taking care of kids in the traditional way. 
he wakes them up every weekday for school by telling them he'll kick their ass if he has to take them himself - but he'll still drive them when it rains or its cold  
he doesnt really know how to cook bc erwin always did that, but his notes app is full of recipes erwin always recommended that were easy to follow bc he was always worried that levi always ate too much cold leftovers from days before and noodles
armin knows hot to cook pretty well bc erwin taught him but he enjoys laughing at levi failing at cooking simple shit - he burned water somehow
but levi still tries so its fine
he tries letting armin know hes welcome, and that he can ask for whatever he needs
he'll leave him lunch money on the counter
and when he notices armins jackets getting a little too short around the wrist he drops a new one by his lap when he sits on the couch
he pulls the blanket all the way to his chin if he falls asleep on the couch.
he'll mention he's going to get a haircut when he notices armin's hair getting longer, and says he can go with him if he wants
but armin still acts so off. 
before erwin was gone, armin always acted happy, even though he never had much, and levi feels guilty knowing he cant do what erwin did for him, but he's doing this for erwin, and knows erwin wouldnt have put armin in his care in the first place if he didn’t trust him
i see taking care of armin as the task that keeps levi going, just like how killing zeke is what keeps him alive in the anime.
both promises he makes to erwin and wont give up on until he’s fulfilled it
but one day armin just disappears. he doesnt come back after school with eren like usual. so he and levi try calling him and get nothing. eren offers to go look for him and levi tells him to stay safe n waits back home to see if armin will show up there
and he does like 5 mins after eren leaves. 
and levi feels his chest just deflate with relief. it was cold outside, and armin was out there alone. 
his cheeks and nose r red from being outside for so long
when levi asks where he's been, it comes out harsher than he meant, but its just bc he was worried, and armin rolls his eyes and asks why it matters
levi tells him its bc he's a kid and doesnt get to just disappear without a trace whenever he wants. levi never minded armin doing whatever he wanted - within regulation - but most times he knew eren was with him, or mikasa, someone who would call him if something happened
and armin says “you're not my father.” and starts taking off his jacket and stuff
“yeah, but i am the person who's taking care of your ass.”
and that seems to make armin a little more ticked off than he already was, bc he turns to levi and says, “well i never asked you to do that.”
to which levi replies without thinking, “no but erwin did”
levi and armin never talk abt erwin, ever.
its like an unspoken rule between them. its not that they arent as comfortable with each other - they arent anyways but - they just dont do that, talk abt how they feel abt erwin, and him being gone
armin looks like hes gonna cry before he just says “well i wish it was erwin that was still here instead of you”
ALMOST AS IF HES SAYING HE WISHED IT WAS LEVI THAT DIED INSTEADDD
and levi is suprised that armin would ever, it hurts a little, and he just nods in agreement and says “me too.”
armin doesnt say anything back to it, he just turns and makes his way to his room, slamming the door behind him
and levi is exhausted. in his head he wonders how erwin had done it - balanced college and a job and a fucking teenager 
but then he remembers that erwin was erwin, and hed always been good at that type of thing
people stuck to him like glue
thats the first night he lets himself admit that he misses him
he feels like he’s failing at the one thing erwin asked of him
when eren shows back up, levi apologizes for not letting him know that armin had came back
but eren just tells him that armin had texted him when he’d arrived - i have a hc that eren and armin were each others first crushes but uhebdbsi
he tells levi that armin had said hed went to the beach
erwin used to take armin to the beach all the time before he died
he’d collect shells with him, and the ones that armin really liked, he’d give them names
he still has one called smith from the last time erwin had taken him to see the ocean
a few weeks go by after that
they never really talked before, but now it seems almost even worse
the silence that they normally exist in feels empty
but everything felt empty without erwin
eren lets levi know where theyre going to be whenever theyre not home, when theyll be home, etc
levi never asked for him to do that, but he does it anyways
levi’s thankful for the near suicidal maniac at that point
even though he always was
he saw a lot of himself in eren, and he sees a lot of himself in armin too
levi and armin never really apologize to each other, but one night when levi’s attempting to cook, armin walks in the kitchen and watches him place things on a pan
“you’re putting them too close together.”
armin steps beside him and tilts his head to the side, as if hes gesturing for levi to move
and he does, letting the younger and taller boy move the prerolled croissants further away from each other on the baking tray
“they never wouldve cooked all the way through like that,” armin tells him
with a scoff, levi mumbles that he sounds like erwin
armin pauses for a second, before sliding the pan in the oven. levi tells him how long the packaging said they went on so that he can set the oven timer
armin sets it for two minutes longer, and levi’s heart aches
erwin did that, too
“i miss him”
it slips out without him meaning for it to
and he thinks he’s ruined armin’s head again, when he’s supposed to be someone this kid can look up to
but he doesnt leave
armin just leans against the oven and nods “me, too”
after that, things arent bad anymore
sure, it takes awhile for them to completely warm up to each other, but they manage
enough that armin sits in on levi’s cooking sessions just to point out what hes doing wrong - something that helps, bc pretty soon levi is learning
he cooks him, armin, and eren an entire meal without burning anything
eren laughs when armin tells him that the man had forgotten to grab an oven mit and had stuck his entire hand in the oven to grab a pan
levi raises his eyebrow when he notices the way armin blushes at eren’s laugh, of all things
and they talk abt erwin more
they have more to say about him that eren, and its just something the two of them share, so they tend to save it for little moments, tiny snippets of things that remind them of the blond
after about a year, things are good
armin asks to have his 17th birthday at the beach, and who would levi be to say no
levi doesnt particularly like the beach, he detests sand, but its for armin, so he’ll do it
its for his kid
him and erwins kid
at the party, he finds a smile coming to his face when he sees armin actually laughing and having fun
kid had been through too much hell at 17, so he deserved to be happy, even if it was only for a few moments
on their way home that evening, eren and armin passed out from a day of swimming and running on the beach - levi made the both of them bring extra towels to save his car seats from salt water and sand
eren’s head is on armin’s shoulder, and the blond’s is resting atop eren’s head
when they get home, the two of them trudge towards their room, but armin turns and holds his closed fist out to levi
with a raised eyebrow, levi holds his hand out and lets armin drop something into his hand, before the boy pivots and continues his shuffle to his and eren’s shared room
levi glances down at the object in his hand
its a shell
armin names it erwin
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fleshblueberry · 3 years
Note
Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored
Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality
I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-
When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)
Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.
now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-
Jam out!
... I don't even know what to say to this
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tylerwritez · 3 years
Text
TUESDAY JULY 13 10:42 A.M.
JUDE IS BACK FROM HIS HIATUS!!!!
One thing I think I will no longer be doing is writing down negative feelings and thoughts and... leaving them there. No. Next time I vent, I delete it right after.
If you want something to be sad over, you'll find something. But if you GENUINELY ATTEMPT to be happy, you will be.
So try harder.
Also, my new phone background is a collage thing of me and my friends at Rebecca's house.
I originally did it as this cool way to remember my besties XD but now it also kinda helps my #SelfEsteem because whenever I think my face is ugly, I look at my phone background and I'm like "that's what you look like, no filter, nothing" and it makes me happier because in that background image I just see a boy being stupid with his friends and I sorta smile like "yeah, that IS what I look like, no filter"
I like it cos, those pictures were taken without me doing anyhting to try and look better, so I KNOW that's like. How I REALLY look. And tbh? Not that bad.
I don't even really mind my smile lines anymore. Cos they're from SMILING!!! means I'm a happy guy.
ALSO I THINK I PASS IN MY BACKGROUND? because I'm that kinda of ugly that says "male" yk, especially next to my friends who are girls/nonbinary I just seem so Boy idk its gender... the photo set is very Gender for my face XDDD THIS IS REALLY STUPID
oh well. Positivity only now, babes.
Also! You may have noticed my HIATUs from posting!!! Yeah, I'll still post, and I'll update y'all on my life... but NOT DAILY... I don't really have the time for that.
I'll do it maybe whenever I feel like, but I'll try and stick to weekly, biweekly, idk, whenever I feel like I should talk about my life, whenever things happen.
Right now I'm actually on a roadtrip!!!
We just spent a day on all the amusement park rides at the Calgary Stampede!! It was AWESOME.
Also we have spent time in #nature and I'm COLLECTING! ROCKS! >:) THEY ARE WAY COOLER OUTSIDE MY HOMETOWN JUST SAYING...
Maybe I'll find a hagstone.
So far no, I've only found cool stripey ones but no hagstones.
Maybe I'm not meant to find a hagstone. Maybe whatever gives me my good luck is protection enough.
ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE, I HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING FOR THIS WHOLE TRIP... SO LIKE 1 OR 2 WEEKS. WHICH IS CRAZY!!! PROUD OF MYSELF :)
ALSO I HAVEN'T CUT MYSELF FOR LIKE A MONTH MAYBE(?) WHICH IS SO WOW.
see? I can totally do this! You'll see.
Lately I haven't been stressing AT ALL. like. So much happiness and fun, out on my roadtripppp!
I have had a few stressors.... but like. I've done my best to push them aside, because I know it'll be better not to think about them.
Like, I'm starting to think all my unhappiness cOMES FROM THINKING ABOUT MY STRESSORS TOO MUCH... OVERTHINKING.
However, if I tell myself "don't worry, you'll find a way, you always do" and then try n forget, I'm so much happier.
Here are my current #stressors... since everyone loves some drama (I'm listing em)
1. I MIGHT LOSE MY VIRGINITY UHHHH AND IM NERVOUS AND IDK IF I SHOULD OR WHAT ITLL  FEEL LIKE OR IF I SHOULD WAIT.... AAAAAAAA IDK ITS KINDA SCARY COS WHAT IF IT HURTS A LOT... WHAT IF IT FUCKS ME UP. IDK. I KNOW NOTHING.
2. MY STEALING + CUTTING ISSUES... LIKE. I'M ADDICTED???? AND OFC IM HAPPY I MANAGE TO GET BY WITHOUT IT BUT SOMETIMES ITS VERY HARD. TO RESIST. YOUR URGES.
man if that god guy is real I bet hes happy with me (or I guess god can be a girl, or nonbinary, or maybe is not male but still uses he/him, or maybe DOESNT use he him pronouns and we are fuckig it up???? Idk I will just say "he")
(I doubt god has a gender tho lol. He made man and woman in his image yeah? So then.... uh.... he would be intersex(?)
Personally I think god has No genitals at all and No gender either. But then again, I dont even believe in a god...)
ALL IM SAYING IS. IF GOD WAS REAL. THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE PLEASED THAT I AM. RESISTING SIN? SO WELL.
... cos cutting yourself IS a sin....
That used to upset me so much dude. I read this bible passage... and it would be CONSTANTLY referenced. Your body is a temple. Its sinful to harm your body. Its sinful to use drugs, is what they said at school, but like. What about other types of intentional harm? Sin. Sinful.
I used to be so invested in that Catholicism shit, man. And afterward, after I. Did the cutting. I'd be covered in half dried sticky blood. I'd smell the metallic smell so strongly.... because I bled out A LOT... its incredible to me honeslty, how such minor styros and occasional light fat cuts can gush out so MUCH blood. It's a lot. It's more than you'd expect from a little cut. The cuts pool up with blood and then overflow.
It trickles down your legs.
But I'd be patching myself up afterward (basically tryna clean the blood, stop the bleeding, make sure I didnt bleed out onto my sheets and dirty them in my sleep... make sure I didnt leave evidence) and I'd think to myself "this is a sin, I am a sinner..."
Ofc my stupid ass was constantly begging for forgiveness, praying, reading the bible, blah blah, please I just wanna serve you, please help me, please...
What a pathetic state to be in most of my junior high years HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD XDDDDD LMAOOOO LMFAOOOOOO ROFLLLLL
like. I had a corner of the school I used SPECIFICALLY to cry.
How sad...
BUT NOW IM IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! AND I AM PLEASED TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE
0 CRYING SPOTS
MANY MAKING OUT SPOTS
like woah its almost like. I dont have to suffer at all.
I'm winning now.
W. What was I talking about before I started rambling. Idk. I forget. Oh well.
POSITIVITY ONLY BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ILL KEEP YALL UPDATED I SWEAR
SIGNING OFF,
JUDE SHEPARD
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lucidpantone · 3 years
Note
Druck is objectively better than all remakes at making a pointed effort to do better with their pic reps. They actually take in the feedback of their audience and try to execute a better product. There are problems with druck and 80% of it is the fandom. Ofc all remakes have issues tho, so ppl should chill. Druck fans unapologetically shit on other remakes while, wtfock fans and skam fr fans have the courtesy of slyly getting their digs in there. It's quite amusing to watch from the sidelines
this is super long but for you anon.
So I think we need to look at these three remakes as what I call the og period and the original period because they do change alot once they get more freedom some for the absolute worse. Ok so lets talk first about the OG periods. To be perfectly honest s1 in all these remakes are just ok. Jana & Jens are a bit unbearable but Jana as a whole is fine and am happy she doesnt end up with Jens. Same with Hanna and Jonas they aren’t unbearable per-say but I am also not gushing over them but I do like Jonas being a heart throb music man sometimes but once again they dont burn into my core but am happy they reunite. Love Emma and love Yann just not together its that simple. S2 is where we really start to see the difference. Charles is the devil so I hate skamfr s2 and like really Manon stays with him??? ughh why?? Daphne is right at almost bursting into laughter when he talks about doing philanthropy. Ok bruh....sure. Winterberg is fine I dont hate them and I dont love them they are just okay to me. S2 happens to be wtfock best season so its kinda hard to stack them up because this is the best they ever looked. All of the s3 for all these remakes are good. To say they aren’t would just be nonsense some are better then others but all are above average. Now S4....... well well well. What can we say the elusive goldstar Sana season is yet to be made (I will say the script for Italia s4 is fantastic, THE SCRIPT).
Skamfr s4 was a mess and ridiculous and Druck’s s4 was lazy and harbored accents of prejudice all over it.Both seasons undercut their woc and both miss the opportunity to write deep meaningful stories that explored the societal struggles of muslim women. Skamfr s4 just happened to really just shows us their colors but honestly am not shocked this is skam the micro racist decisions are all over the verse. TBD on yasmina season.
 NOW......this all changes when we talk about the original seasons because this is when we see the shows on their own and also we get to see if they have been listening and absorbing the fan commentary or not. So let’s get the obvious out of the way wtFOCK was an absolute mess and maybe the worse season ever created in the skamverse the only thing that made that season even slightly bearable was the Moyo arc which I hear it actually continues in s5 so in a weird way s4 is actually about Moyo since his story continues but we already know thats only because if the fans saw Kato on the screen for a matters of seconds the volcano of hate would explode. I despise how Noa has become the pseudo main of s4 but didnt get the credit. It kills me they did this to him. Maining Romi is the worse mistake ever made by any remake and thats just fact. Now do I want to see a newgen out of wtfock? hmmmm ask me after s5 but am leaning towards probably not but am on the fence. Now skamfr .....let me say this one thing skam fr is nothing without their cast. Talk about fucking talent. Those kids can act their ass off but their writing is atrocious. s5 could have been good they had all the ingredients but the writers bomb it. S6 once again flavie amazing the writing a shit show. S7 lucie was amazing the writing was better but still needs work I think it pretty obvious skam fr is going to step into the thunderdome and finally do what no skam has done before and main bilal but should I really applaud it taking 8 seasons and 35 plus skamverse seasons to get here??? Probably not, but since no one else is gonna pull the trigger I wish them well and at least skamfr listen and lamifex is super rich in diversity and they are honestly a fabulous newgen. They are such a ridiculous squad but god I love them and Jo is an angel. Please please skamfr please write a good story for a brown boy I beg of you!!! Now druck s5 all I can say is Bravo!! If skamfr is their cast then Druck is their writers. That s5 season is a fucking beast. Thats how you write an original skam season. They also listen the cast is super diverse. The girl squad feels natural and their age I actually like that the insta squad are problematic as fuck and happen to be queer. Like just cause your a gay baby doesnt mean you arent an ass. s6 for me personally was ok maybe its unfair of me but I expect amazing writing out of druck and s6 to me was not their best. It could have been amazing they touched so many topics but never deeply explored them and I wanted more for fatou. Also def got the vibes at the end they were panicking on who to main next season so everyone got a little plot thread but that also distracted me from fatou but I love the Mailin plot it was really smart and done well. I didnt hate her but boy did she bug the shit out me.That how you write modern day racism and white privilege. I just wish Ava’s plot was spread more onto fatou they were moments but i wanted more. So I guess I do think out of the original seasons druck s5 is the best. Nora being white didnt matter because she was written well but i do think Tiff being the main out of skamfr wasnt the best choice but then seeing Lucie act am like ok i get it but honestly I expect that from that cast they can all kill it so why not let someone else be the main and not tiff. BTW druck’s cast is good too I just dont think they are as good as the skamfr cast on the acting front but they are some members that are very very good. Like you said because Druck does listen I hope they listen to the honest criticism of s6. I know some people are like its the best ever but like its not....am sorry s5 was way better then s6 and that makes me sad because i want my black girl magic.... I do expect s7 to be good because when the writers for druck have the room to take their time they always kill it but I also feel like they are about to pull a Tiff on us and main Ismail(plus constantine as the side plot) but if I trust anyone with not fucking it up its them. Concerning the fandoms I live off tag and I do that for a reason. The fandom tags are alot but the druck one is almost hostile and honestly you would love the show more if you didnt interact with it. The skamfr tag is hilarious because they are no anti’s its just a bunch of arm chair critics making memes at how ridiculous the frenchies are but in away it makes the remake super fun because no one cares anymore. The wtfock tag has really high highs and really insane lows. When its low its really low so I have decided to live off tag. For those who haven’t..... god speed. Your brave souls!!
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grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years
Text
hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((
MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW
what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?
Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia
which scene in the book was your favorite?
EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).
what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?
ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((
what scenes were unsatisfactory?
there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)
but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later
what made you laugh the most?
matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said
what bored you?
this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem
also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!
what disappointed you?
cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.
what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?
see above.
what things did you predict that came true?
JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK
what are some things that were really unexpected?
ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:
- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((
-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((
-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl
-liking jesse as much as i did
-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho
-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it
- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him
are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?
yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)
are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?
I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.
who was your favorite new character?
does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!
what places in the book would you like to visit?
that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl
did you like the ending?
ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((
what did you think of the epilogue?
i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this
what are your thoughts on the engagement?
i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.
what did you want to see that didn’t happen?
matthew getting therapy periodt
umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.
what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?
i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 
what is your favorite pairing as of now?
jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.
which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?
CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 
ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass
matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu
what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?
ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life
and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 
which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?
ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.
oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies
which characters got what they deserved?
literally. none of them yet. :(
who should have died but didn’t?
Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 
what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?
okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but
what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?
THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy
which pairing do you like the least?
alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol
what are some theories you have for chain of iron?
- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane
- the bracelet will break (?)
- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book
-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.
what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?
lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)
anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT
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qyu-inactive · 3 years
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MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OUTTAKES 16-18.5 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY
We have been blessed with 3.5 glorious new parts to the wonderful Losty Aone/ Mountain Man Series by the wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring @shhhlikeme and i am emotional and have many many feelings about it all.
Outtake 16 
I love that we got to see this from the reeader’s point of view, it was nice to see our losty y/n and see how their feeling. It was a nice break from feeling sad about Aone’s broken heart.
This part made me laugh ahaha
After dating and breaking up with him, Aone had females constantly approaching him. A/N: Not constantly but it felt that way for you ofc lol
the jealously😂, the Author’s note too like “it wasnt like that at all” 😂 this emotional person (y/n) is just  blowing up the situation. 
and then this:
In other words: They want what you had. 
i mean of course they would, Aone is the sweetest boy but only to someone he loves. Aone’s heart is too strong to let waver to someone knew so quick
This whole outtake all i could think about was that Y/n really needs to get back with her mountain man, first they want to break up so Aone finds someone new but then doesnt want him to find someone new. Like cleary y/n is not being honest with herself or Aone. 
When they went to the library, ahhh y/n really just imagining the worst scnenarios in their head😂
“Oh,” your stomach flipped. “He looks so cute.” You put on a 🥺 face when you noticed how utterly adorable a standing Takanobu looked
🥺🥺🥺 Aone is always such a cutie, and y/n really broke this man’s heart😭 I know it was insecurites but still. These two are so in love but just wont get back together. 
The outfit y/n is wearing😍 you always pick these really cute and sexy outfits and I appreciate y/ns confidence and style but it is not me 😂😂 but Aone thirsting over his girl tho, i would dress up like that if it meant getting looked by Aone like that 😂
I love Aone’s plan, like he is such a sweetheart and he’s making me all soft at all his effort to win his girl back🥺🥺
This outtake really gave up all the feels y/n is feeling with breaking up with Aone and I am enjoing it 😂. At the same time though I just want these to love birds to get back together ahhhhh. 
One of the things I really love about this story is how strong the friendship is and how we see the outside characters really show how much they care. A lot of stories (like shojou, oh man you dont know how much shoujo manga ive read haha) just sideline their friends after the start talking to their love interest or they dont even have friends at all in the whole story. I really enjoyed seeing Katana be a voice of reason in our losty’s life. And of course the K_nji’s being our boy Aone’s best friends. 
Outtake 17
okay we starting with the real friends the K_nji’s warning our boy Aone about the situation. I love them and how much they care 😂. They can be dumbasses but still, I appreciate their effort. 
The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small.
Does this mean they’re going to the same university? or am I reading too much into it? It might have been mentioned before but I cant remember off the top of my head. Also Aone really living his best life and his worst life rn 😂😂  like he gets to see his girl in a super tight cheer leading uniform and spend one on one time with her but he cant do anything about his desires. His confidence tho haha  “I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before” not like this you havent😏 
Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.
Again I just really love their friendship, parts like this really get me 😂😂😂
When y/n took out Aone’s jacket automatically🥺🥺 my hearttttt, and how long Aone’s jacket is on them🥺🥺 this whole part made me so softtt. Like imagine wearing his jacket🥺🥺 it would be so comfy and warm. 
There are so many golden lines I loved from this part, but Aone’s spank bank is just a phrase I wasnt expectng to read but it is gold. Im sure his bank is full and loaded😂
Then some random gross guy comes up to y/n, like the audacity of this guy.
He had such a disgusting grin on his face
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 this guy can back offfff. 
I really love when Aone comes in to protect the reader🥺🥺 he’s not the iron wall for nothing too. 
Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️
and then you go and hurt me again😭😭
I really wanted Aone to just kick a dude in the chest, like step the fuck off 😂😂. 
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“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice.
“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.
Im absolutely swooning, Aoneeeeee🥺🥺🥺. And the fact that he wanted the reader to come with him so she wouldnt get anyone bothering her😭😭 he’s such a gentlemen. No one bothers Aone’s girl whose not his girl at the moment, especially guys who arent wanted
now onto the fun part of this outtake😏 I wasn’t expecting to see texts but it was definitely a nice addtion!! Our poor Aone soo horny and sweet, I dont know if the dead squirrels worked hahaha. 
but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand.
this went over my head when i read it the first time omg😂😂😂 Im sure Aone can do it, he’s a very capable man. This whole section had me laughing but also feeling slightly bad for Aone, again his poor horny heart right now is conflicted but very much fed. Im glad he was able to get a break, I dont think his length could wait (im not used to using subtle language hahaha) anyway this whole part was fun to read. 
Aone bit his juicy bottom lip,
I legit bit my lip just before reading this part😂
Outtake 18 & 18.5
Now we’re hitting the climax!! (after Aone just hit his climax and is about to hit again😗)
—who imo really should return to their own homes now but would rather not—
I mean do these two even have their own homes anymore😂, theyre basically apart of the Aone family now. Family who also understand when to leave their horny pal alone for time being. 
OKAY ONTO THE IMPORTANT PART!!! AHHHHHHHH. 
“Aone-senpai, do you even have snapchat?!”
“Obviously not.” Kenji answered for his friend, being snappy.
“WELL HE SHOULD GET IT BECAUSE I SAW—“
Did Kanji see Y/N and Takeru?????? I also cant believe I learnt Takeru was a third year from this series, I always thought he was a second year for some reason. I think cos he was ennoshita’s rival. not important rn lmao
“—because Aone-senpai is jacking off again. It makes you feel lighter, and happier—so that’s why,”
this boy, there are some things you just shouldnt say out loud. Some things can be left unsaid (not like im blunt with my friends sometimes haha but still) 
When Kenji had found out about why y/n dumped Aone😭😭😭😭 I’m glad he found out earlier then Aone, I wouldnt have wanted him to yell at the reader again.
Anyone that can do that, be so selfless—is good enough for his best friend.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
“I can tell its her because that’s your sweater she’s wearing. Right? It says Takanobu on the back, and I remember seeing Y/N steal it out of your bag after practice once.”
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺these parts really just made me soft. like the fact that y/n still had the jacket and wanted to wear it out. and the absolute coincedence that they were in the same cinema as Aone. 
“Y/N.—Sh-She-She is wearing my attire. What does that mean?”
Yeah, big guy.
Yeah, you have a chance.
Y/N still has a little….tiny bit of feelings for you
YES YES YES FINALLY , I wanted to cry here😭😭 AND THEN KENJI CONFIRMED IT ALL AND AONE THE MAN WENT AND TRIED TO GET HIS GIRL. THIS REALLY IS THE DRAMATIC PART IN THE MOVIE. AND THEN THIS [redacted] TAKERU CAME AND AHHHHH 
(Aone would know that face, he only saw it everyday he’s looked in the mirror for the past 3 years)
Absolutely dead. All hope—gone.
You make me happy and then just rip out my heart like 2 minutes later. I was going from crying happy tears to sad tears in like a heartbeat. 
ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN I GOT TO THE END OF PART 18 I DIDNT REALISE THERE WAS 18.5 AND WAS AFRAID THAT THIS WAS IT AHHHHHH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS THEN JUST LEAVE. 
“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her.
y/n really has some good friends with her🥺
uhhh then Takeru comes in, I dont really hate him but no one stands in between our losties love, they deserve each other and no one can stand between them. 
“But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.”
Okay this was pretty nice of Takeru, like cheesy but at least he cares and isnt staring at y/n like a peace of meat he wants to devour...
You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way.
This boy, hes got a good heart but this isn’t your story bud, im sorry.
There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen.
if this doesnt go well these two seem like they’re going to fight y/n outside the cinema😭😂 I couldnt imagine getting death stares from the K_njis especially after hurting Aone basically twice now.
Finding HIM was all that mattered.
OKAY THIS WHOLE PART, LIKE YES GO GET YOUR MAN PLEASE. LIKE Y/N CANT JUST LEAVE THIS RIGHT HERE LIKE THIS. 
white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.
I cant take anymore sad Aone😭😭 He needs the biggest hug and his girl to be his girl again. He has gone through so much.
“Kenji-san, please leave me—““Not Justin Bieber look-alike!”
I cant with the Justin Bieber look-alike. 😂😂
Im just going to talk about my feelings for this part, but the whole confesson. I felt like crying, i feel like crying now reading it😭 it was just so beautiful. Like y/n explaing everything and saying Aone is the only man she’ll ever love. Throughout the series we really go to understand Aone’s feelings so deeply and how passionate he is but we didnt really get to see how y/n felt as much so reading this made me happy for Aone for the fact that his girl loves him as much as he loves her. They really were lost for each other, lost with out each other, but together they were 
Found.
okay maybe im tearing up now😭😭
One more marathon to go and our happy couple can live happily. The fact that this story is nearly over is a little sad but I’m happy our losties found each other. Im thinking since the next parts will be the last I’ll talk about overall themes I liked and my favourite moments as well. 
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